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You are in the friend zone aren't you | [
"I was good friends with my husband for about 8 years before we started dating. I think we both just needed to grow up a bit. But when we told our friend group we started dating the general reactions was \"about time!\" So I guess it was obvious to everyone but us lol.",
">\n\nMe and my first wife were like rhat",
">\n\nThen what happened?",
">\n\nThen you get told \"I wish I met someone like you.\"",
">\n\nThey make for the most difficult breakups,",
">\n\nSometimes. A better phrase would be that the strongest romantic relationships are also the strongest friendships.\nAlso The honeymoon phase is all relationships. Friendships and lovers. It tends to stop in all relationship when kids get involved 😬",
">\n\nEh, I agree with OP and think it's unpopular because the number of people who meet this way is plummeting, so the acknowledgement makes those people feel insecure.\nOf course you can start a relationship romantically and have it remain successful indefinitely as long as you also build friendship along the way. But there are two key areas this method can never truly replicate:\n\n\nHaving your respect for someone develop 100% independently of your attraction to them. I know a fair number of couples that can't seem to untangle respect and attraction. So when their partner falls in attractiveness it also lowers their overall respect for them. Sometimes that tracks... But sometimes it doesn't (for example, after kids when both people are too tired muster much attraction). Eventually, it leads to problems.\n\n\nAccountability. When you meet through and share a community, there are repercussions for acting a fool. When your only connection to each other is your relationship, there is less incentive to remain civil because you won't be judged/punished by 3rd parties if you don't.\n\n\nIf you look at the complaints that GenZ and younger Millennials have about dating, a lot them can be summed up as \"I'm being treated like a commodity, not like a person.\" Having mutual social ties prevents a lot of that.\nI 100% agree with you about the Honeymoon phase though. After 3 years of being close friends, I started dating my now fiance. Strongest Honeymoon phase I've ever experienced, and also the longest - it's yet to end two years in (and we won't be having kids, so maybe it never will).",
">\n\nIf you meet somebody you’re attracted to, there is no reason you can’t build your romantic relationship along with your friendship. This is typically what i did in all of my relationships. If we couldn’t connect on a more in depth way than attraction, the relationship didn’t last long enough to even call it a relationship. \nA romantic relationship isn’t different than any other except romantic ones tend to involve people feeling more intimate with each other. But it’s the same as if you meet somebody you could never be attracted to. You get to know them. It’s all just regular relationship stuff. If you get into a relationship and don’t bond with that person, friendship or romantic or even family, it doesn’t matter. It’s going to be a fail",
">\n\nI met my wife in a bar. I was drunk as shit and my pickup line was \"You're cute, wanna make out?\"\nShe said \"hell no\", but I talked to her again the next day when I was sober and we hit it off instantly. \nI think the best relationships just don't involve the games, or one person chasing until the other finally settles and gives in.",
">\n\nThis is at least plausible. I agree that the strongest romantic relationships contain an element of robust friendship, but I'm not sure that you need to START like this first. It's possible to develop romance and friendship concurrently.",
">\n\n\nIt's possible to develop romance and friendship concurrently.\n\nI really think this is what happened between my wife and I. We met online gaming in 2000. That doesn't sound revolutinary by today's standards but then it was. We talked more and more and it just kind of developed that we were friends, then it moved to RL and not just games. We became best friends and lovers all at the same time. Been together ever since.",
">\n\n\nWe met online gaming in 2000. Been together ever since.\n\nDon't give redditors too much hope..\njk congrats!",
">\n\nLOL. It was a text based online trivia game. No photos no voice. Just text. You really get to know someone that way. No distractions.",
">\n\nAgreeable. I wouldnt say \"The strongest romantic relationships\" HAVE to start that way, but the ones that do tend to be strong romantic relationships.",
">\n\nI think you’re projecting. My 25 years-and-counting relationship with my wife started out on a foundation of raw, animalistic lust.",
">\n\nBut on the other hand there are plenty of people that are best friends, try to date and realize they have no romantic thing, and afterwards it's getting weird etc. \nYou need a romantic and friendship-base, if you want to stay happy togehter. But what comes first is basically irrelevant.",
">\n\nThat’s great since every time I’ve caught feelings for a friend I also lost them as a friend",
">\n\nThe trick is to not stare at them intently for too long at a time",
">\n\nPeople struggle with dating because of these types of opinions. There is no one way to develop a good relationship, there are many. And one way that works for some people can be the exact reason it fails for others. It depends on everyone involved.",
">\n\nTotally agree, I was friends with my wife for 2 years before we began dating. We will be having our 15th wedding anniversary in a couple weeks.",
">\n\nCongratulations! Yay for best friends!!",
">\n\nI sorta disagree, from personal experience.\nWhen I dated someone who I'd been friends with for years, it didn't turn out well. Yeah sure, I knew the bad and good things about them. But that's a double edged sword, because they figured that I would 'be okay with' the same things now that we were in a relationship. There was nothing new for me to learn about him and no bonding experiences that could help us know each other deeper/better, because we already knew each other incredibly well. He wouldn't shut up about his ex before or during our relationship. I gave him an ultimatum and he only continued. I broke up with him and then became an ex he won't shut up about. \nHowever, when I met my current long distance partner, we only knew each other a month before getting together, as there was relatively quick mutual attraction. Our relationship is now 5 years strong and learning new things about them is/has been a bonding experience that I didn't have with the aforementioned ex of mine.\nSo, I think this isn't true in all cases.",
">\n\nI think you don't mean the strongest but safest. All of the things you mentioned are found in long term partners of dating apps and such as well, but of course they also might not be.\nWhat you're describing is every long term relationship. The trust building, the friendship. And yes you don't always find that on dating apps vs being friends first. But dating apps offer you a large pool to chose from which is generally much larger than your friend group.\nBut you also have to remember the downsides of dating a friend too. If it doesn't work out what happens to your friendship or friend group? Were you just friends to get close enough to date because that's kinda shitty. Not to mention it's hard to know if they're actually like you or don't want to lose a friend so go along with it.",
">\n\nNot for me, I've been with A LOT of people, I've dated a few as well. My current gf and future wife met when she came into my shop to get piercings done with her friends, she called the shop afterwards and we had sex the next day. We have been dating ever since ( 3 years ) and she Is the first woman I trust completely and feel comfortable and know I want to spend my entire life with her, my last relationship was 9 years, we were friends before that, the one before that was 6 years, also friends before. So, no, there really is no rules for making the \"perfect relationship\". My \"one night stand\" turned into the woman im going to spend my life with. Seems others have pointed this out as well. This is projection",
">\n\nMy friend found his first girlfriend on Tindr and she was an abusive narcassist (he left her thank god)\nI was a platonic friend with my bf for 3 years before dating him, and we love each other so fucking much",
">\n\nGood for you!\nNonetheless, all scenarios exist around the same percentage:\n- starting as friends becoming good romantic\n- starting as friends and not being good romantic partners\n- starting as a date/lust and becoming good romantically\n- starting as a date/lust and it does not work out",
">\n\nNot the same percentage, OP is right that you'll find a fulfilling relationship more often in person and starting off as friends.",
">\n\nNot that I don’t believe you, but do you have a source?\nThe best relationships I know are from people in the middle: dating, never knew (or interacted with) each other but taking it slow. People who jump too quickly end up fighting, and the people who were friends for so long do manage, but at the end it seems they do divorce because the spark is gone\nAgain, got no proof for that. Just what it seems",
">\n\nYou're asking me for sauce and yet you have failed to provide sauce yourself for your claim that all relationship types are equally occuring. You can only make a subjetive opinion on the matter and our views will be completely different because experiences are uniaue to the individual.\nPeople who enter marriages quickly end up leaving soon because they failed to know each other better. But instead of dating, they could've literally been friends for a long time and that qualifies for 'getting to know each other' and so jumping into marriage might end up being long term. I guess its dofferent for everyone, but I always wanted to meet my partner in real life either at study or work because I know we would be similar on those grounds. I did and I'm happy, and I'm happy because I got to know him more in the safe friendzone. It was a slow process but it was worth it.",
">\n\nI somewhat agree, but not everyone is lucky enough to have or can stay in social circles where you find your s/o.",
">\n\nI think it kinda boils down to the question, what was first, egg or chicken. You won't have full romantic relationship without sex and the same goes for lust based ones only.\nThis is bit of a myth that you can grow yourself a partner, especially after teenage phase, so you either hit or not into someone compatible making it a luck game, requiring lot of volume to get some points. You can start with passionate sex and just score the best partner in the world or you can start with friendship and never make it till some phase.",
">\n\nIs their proof because my evidence says every time u do that she cheats and you lose a good friend",
">\n\nI actually don't think this is as unpopular as you might think. I think at least some people looking for a steamy romance are not necessarily thinking about a life partner, which is totally ok. In the context of looking for a life partner, this seems pretty common.\nThat said, there are some cases where I'd strongly disagree. Dating allows you to filter people out who have definite life incompatibilities with you. Falling for your friends is great if your friend is compatible with you, but sometimes they're not. I've fallen in love with two close friends, neither who I ever would have gone on a date with (both of them fell for me back). In the end, the friendships turned toxic and fell apart because we wanted things from each other that we actually weren't willing to give, given what we wanted from life. I've honestly had much better luck falling in lust with someone, hanging out with them to see if we're baseline compatible, if not long term, and going from there. This isn't like a one-size-fits-all, but there are definite reasons to date strangers.",
">\n\nI’m in a 5 year relationship with someone who I was friends with. I knew him for like ten years now. I do disagree tho, we definitely had a honeymoon phase",
">\n\nNo. This type of shit is what leads mfs that you just want to be friends with to have some false ass hope for the future. I hate this and if someone just wants to be friends they just want to be friends. I'm not saying it never happens but 9/10 if you don't see them that way..... you never will",
">\n\nI started dating my now wife after we were friends for four years. Sparks are overrated.",
">\n\nI wasn't looking for a relationship. Eventually it just happened.",
">\n\nI fell for my husband after being friends for seven months. I had no initial attraction to him, we were just in the same field in doctoral school and interacted a lot. I was actually in another relationship when I first met him. It wasn’t until we worked closely together and got to know each other on a deeper level months later that a spark started to form. After all those months, I suddenly felt such a deep attraction to him I couldn’t ignore it. \nAll of my previous relationships were like that too. I have never felt instant attraction to any person. It always had to grow with time.",
">\n\nThat's how it worked out for me.",
">\n\nI already knew all of those things about my wife because I was working a crap job for low pay when we met. The entire reason I went back to school was for her. It still took four more years to finish my degree and I didn’t have very much money or time between work and school. She stuck with me through those hard times. I didn’t have to just be her friend but she definitely let it be known that she wouldn’t marry me until I finished college. :)",
">\n\nVery true in my case. I didn’t notice him for years. Then we were just friends. Then best friends. Then best friends that say “I love you” to each-other. But finally i resized my true feelings. Ive been with him 2 long years. I wish I loved him sooner because he’s amazing.",
">\n\nThey make for the most difficult breakups, too.",
">\n\nMaybe, but I dont ruin friendships cuz they are valuable so no.",
">\n\nThis is so true. Friends first! I met my fiance on Facebook through our college class group. I dm'd her first and we spoke for three months as really good friends before meeting in person in the fall. That first week we clicked and knew our intentions. We never expected to date. Fast forward 10 years later ( including 3 years of long distance), we have been living together for two years and get married in Oct. Til this day we love each other very much, and is because we see each other as best friends before partners.",
">\n\nBurying the lede, it’s just better than apps, which are fake as fuck and inflate your self worth.",
">\n\nTrue imo the best relationships are the ones where both partners fully trust and know each other's",
">\n\nI agree, but also because I cannot develop feelings or a spark for someone without knowing them for a long time first. I have never just met a person and instantly had feelings for them.",
">\n\nCompletely the opposite in my opinion. Getting to know someone and having instant sparks and slowly falling in love as you get to know more about them is the best feeling in the world. Often times friends first also break up its just a lot more traumatic and you run a lot more risks about breaking up your friend group and stuff like that.",
">\n\nI disagree. The worst relationship i had was with my best friend. She and i were so fucking toxic to each other, that when we broke up and still had to see each other (Same group of friends), we had to wait 5 years until we were ready to be friends again. \nTo all my fellow guys, don't date your female best friend, you'll end up losing a good friend",
">\n\nI think for some people it’s hard to break out of the mindset once you become friends that this person is meant for friendship. After categorizing some people as friends and others as potential love interests, it’s hard to break that boundary in your head.",
">\n\nIf the relationship ended as not platonic then it was never platonic",
">\n\nThe two best relationships I had were with people who we lived together first, became friends, and then lovers, and then partners. They were really sweet relationships and I hold them close to my heart. \nBecause of this, my rule of thumb is friends first, lovers second and it’s never failed me.",
">\n\nMy rule of thumb is the same, too. All for reasons outlined in this post."
] |
>
Strong disagree. Platonic friendships lead to chemistry-less marriages. Was definitely not friends with my husband before we got married, fancied him too much and still do | [
"I was good friends with my husband for about 8 years before we started dating. I think we both just needed to grow up a bit. But when we told our friend group we started dating the general reactions was \"about time!\" So I guess it was obvious to everyone but us lol.",
">\n\nMe and my first wife were like rhat",
">\n\nThen what happened?",
">\n\nThen you get told \"I wish I met someone like you.\"",
">\n\nThey make for the most difficult breakups,",
">\n\nSometimes. A better phrase would be that the strongest romantic relationships are also the strongest friendships.\nAlso The honeymoon phase is all relationships. Friendships and lovers. It tends to stop in all relationship when kids get involved 😬",
">\n\nEh, I agree with OP and think it's unpopular because the number of people who meet this way is plummeting, so the acknowledgement makes those people feel insecure.\nOf course you can start a relationship romantically and have it remain successful indefinitely as long as you also build friendship along the way. But there are two key areas this method can never truly replicate:\n\n\nHaving your respect for someone develop 100% independently of your attraction to them. I know a fair number of couples that can't seem to untangle respect and attraction. So when their partner falls in attractiveness it also lowers their overall respect for them. Sometimes that tracks... But sometimes it doesn't (for example, after kids when both people are too tired muster much attraction). Eventually, it leads to problems.\n\n\nAccountability. When you meet through and share a community, there are repercussions for acting a fool. When your only connection to each other is your relationship, there is less incentive to remain civil because you won't be judged/punished by 3rd parties if you don't.\n\n\nIf you look at the complaints that GenZ and younger Millennials have about dating, a lot them can be summed up as \"I'm being treated like a commodity, not like a person.\" Having mutual social ties prevents a lot of that.\nI 100% agree with you about the Honeymoon phase though. After 3 years of being close friends, I started dating my now fiance. Strongest Honeymoon phase I've ever experienced, and also the longest - it's yet to end two years in (and we won't be having kids, so maybe it never will).",
">\n\nIf you meet somebody you’re attracted to, there is no reason you can’t build your romantic relationship along with your friendship. This is typically what i did in all of my relationships. If we couldn’t connect on a more in depth way than attraction, the relationship didn’t last long enough to even call it a relationship. \nA romantic relationship isn’t different than any other except romantic ones tend to involve people feeling more intimate with each other. But it’s the same as if you meet somebody you could never be attracted to. You get to know them. It’s all just regular relationship stuff. If you get into a relationship and don’t bond with that person, friendship or romantic or even family, it doesn’t matter. It’s going to be a fail",
">\n\nI met my wife in a bar. I was drunk as shit and my pickup line was \"You're cute, wanna make out?\"\nShe said \"hell no\", but I talked to her again the next day when I was sober and we hit it off instantly. \nI think the best relationships just don't involve the games, or one person chasing until the other finally settles and gives in.",
">\n\nThis is at least plausible. I agree that the strongest romantic relationships contain an element of robust friendship, but I'm not sure that you need to START like this first. It's possible to develop romance and friendship concurrently.",
">\n\n\nIt's possible to develop romance and friendship concurrently.\n\nI really think this is what happened between my wife and I. We met online gaming in 2000. That doesn't sound revolutinary by today's standards but then it was. We talked more and more and it just kind of developed that we were friends, then it moved to RL and not just games. We became best friends and lovers all at the same time. Been together ever since.",
">\n\n\nWe met online gaming in 2000. Been together ever since.\n\nDon't give redditors too much hope..\njk congrats!",
">\n\nLOL. It was a text based online trivia game. No photos no voice. Just text. You really get to know someone that way. No distractions.",
">\n\nAgreeable. I wouldnt say \"The strongest romantic relationships\" HAVE to start that way, but the ones that do tend to be strong romantic relationships.",
">\n\nI think you’re projecting. My 25 years-and-counting relationship with my wife started out on a foundation of raw, animalistic lust.",
">\n\nBut on the other hand there are plenty of people that are best friends, try to date and realize they have no romantic thing, and afterwards it's getting weird etc. \nYou need a romantic and friendship-base, if you want to stay happy togehter. But what comes first is basically irrelevant.",
">\n\nThat’s great since every time I’ve caught feelings for a friend I also lost them as a friend",
">\n\nThe trick is to not stare at them intently for too long at a time",
">\n\nPeople struggle with dating because of these types of opinions. There is no one way to develop a good relationship, there are many. And one way that works for some people can be the exact reason it fails for others. It depends on everyone involved.",
">\n\nTotally agree, I was friends with my wife for 2 years before we began dating. We will be having our 15th wedding anniversary in a couple weeks.",
">\n\nCongratulations! Yay for best friends!!",
">\n\nI sorta disagree, from personal experience.\nWhen I dated someone who I'd been friends with for years, it didn't turn out well. Yeah sure, I knew the bad and good things about them. But that's a double edged sword, because they figured that I would 'be okay with' the same things now that we were in a relationship. There was nothing new for me to learn about him and no bonding experiences that could help us know each other deeper/better, because we already knew each other incredibly well. He wouldn't shut up about his ex before or during our relationship. I gave him an ultimatum and he only continued. I broke up with him and then became an ex he won't shut up about. \nHowever, when I met my current long distance partner, we only knew each other a month before getting together, as there was relatively quick mutual attraction. Our relationship is now 5 years strong and learning new things about them is/has been a bonding experience that I didn't have with the aforementioned ex of mine.\nSo, I think this isn't true in all cases.",
">\n\nI think you don't mean the strongest but safest. All of the things you mentioned are found in long term partners of dating apps and such as well, but of course they also might not be.\nWhat you're describing is every long term relationship. The trust building, the friendship. And yes you don't always find that on dating apps vs being friends first. But dating apps offer you a large pool to chose from which is generally much larger than your friend group.\nBut you also have to remember the downsides of dating a friend too. If it doesn't work out what happens to your friendship or friend group? Were you just friends to get close enough to date because that's kinda shitty. Not to mention it's hard to know if they're actually like you or don't want to lose a friend so go along with it.",
">\n\nNot for me, I've been with A LOT of people, I've dated a few as well. My current gf and future wife met when she came into my shop to get piercings done with her friends, she called the shop afterwards and we had sex the next day. We have been dating ever since ( 3 years ) and she Is the first woman I trust completely and feel comfortable and know I want to spend my entire life with her, my last relationship was 9 years, we were friends before that, the one before that was 6 years, also friends before. So, no, there really is no rules for making the \"perfect relationship\". My \"one night stand\" turned into the woman im going to spend my life with. Seems others have pointed this out as well. This is projection",
">\n\nMy friend found his first girlfriend on Tindr and she was an abusive narcassist (he left her thank god)\nI was a platonic friend with my bf for 3 years before dating him, and we love each other so fucking much",
">\n\nGood for you!\nNonetheless, all scenarios exist around the same percentage:\n- starting as friends becoming good romantic\n- starting as friends and not being good romantic partners\n- starting as a date/lust and becoming good romantically\n- starting as a date/lust and it does not work out",
">\n\nNot the same percentage, OP is right that you'll find a fulfilling relationship more often in person and starting off as friends.",
">\n\nNot that I don’t believe you, but do you have a source?\nThe best relationships I know are from people in the middle: dating, never knew (or interacted with) each other but taking it slow. People who jump too quickly end up fighting, and the people who were friends for so long do manage, but at the end it seems they do divorce because the spark is gone\nAgain, got no proof for that. Just what it seems",
">\n\nYou're asking me for sauce and yet you have failed to provide sauce yourself for your claim that all relationship types are equally occuring. You can only make a subjetive opinion on the matter and our views will be completely different because experiences are uniaue to the individual.\nPeople who enter marriages quickly end up leaving soon because they failed to know each other better. But instead of dating, they could've literally been friends for a long time and that qualifies for 'getting to know each other' and so jumping into marriage might end up being long term. I guess its dofferent for everyone, but I always wanted to meet my partner in real life either at study or work because I know we would be similar on those grounds. I did and I'm happy, and I'm happy because I got to know him more in the safe friendzone. It was a slow process but it was worth it.",
">\n\nI somewhat agree, but not everyone is lucky enough to have or can stay in social circles where you find your s/o.",
">\n\nI think it kinda boils down to the question, what was first, egg or chicken. You won't have full romantic relationship without sex and the same goes for lust based ones only.\nThis is bit of a myth that you can grow yourself a partner, especially after teenage phase, so you either hit or not into someone compatible making it a luck game, requiring lot of volume to get some points. You can start with passionate sex and just score the best partner in the world or you can start with friendship and never make it till some phase.",
">\n\nIs their proof because my evidence says every time u do that she cheats and you lose a good friend",
">\n\nI actually don't think this is as unpopular as you might think. I think at least some people looking for a steamy romance are not necessarily thinking about a life partner, which is totally ok. In the context of looking for a life partner, this seems pretty common.\nThat said, there are some cases where I'd strongly disagree. Dating allows you to filter people out who have definite life incompatibilities with you. Falling for your friends is great if your friend is compatible with you, but sometimes they're not. I've fallen in love with two close friends, neither who I ever would have gone on a date with (both of them fell for me back). In the end, the friendships turned toxic and fell apart because we wanted things from each other that we actually weren't willing to give, given what we wanted from life. I've honestly had much better luck falling in lust with someone, hanging out with them to see if we're baseline compatible, if not long term, and going from there. This isn't like a one-size-fits-all, but there are definite reasons to date strangers.",
">\n\nI’m in a 5 year relationship with someone who I was friends with. I knew him for like ten years now. I do disagree tho, we definitely had a honeymoon phase",
">\n\nNo. This type of shit is what leads mfs that you just want to be friends with to have some false ass hope for the future. I hate this and if someone just wants to be friends they just want to be friends. I'm not saying it never happens but 9/10 if you don't see them that way..... you never will",
">\n\nI started dating my now wife after we were friends for four years. Sparks are overrated.",
">\n\nI wasn't looking for a relationship. Eventually it just happened.",
">\n\nI fell for my husband after being friends for seven months. I had no initial attraction to him, we were just in the same field in doctoral school and interacted a lot. I was actually in another relationship when I first met him. It wasn’t until we worked closely together and got to know each other on a deeper level months later that a spark started to form. After all those months, I suddenly felt such a deep attraction to him I couldn’t ignore it. \nAll of my previous relationships were like that too. I have never felt instant attraction to any person. It always had to grow with time.",
">\n\nThat's how it worked out for me.",
">\n\nI already knew all of those things about my wife because I was working a crap job for low pay when we met. The entire reason I went back to school was for her. It still took four more years to finish my degree and I didn’t have very much money or time between work and school. She stuck with me through those hard times. I didn’t have to just be her friend but she definitely let it be known that she wouldn’t marry me until I finished college. :)",
">\n\nVery true in my case. I didn’t notice him for years. Then we were just friends. Then best friends. Then best friends that say “I love you” to each-other. But finally i resized my true feelings. Ive been with him 2 long years. I wish I loved him sooner because he’s amazing.",
">\n\nThey make for the most difficult breakups, too.",
">\n\nMaybe, but I dont ruin friendships cuz they are valuable so no.",
">\n\nThis is so true. Friends first! I met my fiance on Facebook through our college class group. I dm'd her first and we spoke for three months as really good friends before meeting in person in the fall. That first week we clicked and knew our intentions. We never expected to date. Fast forward 10 years later ( including 3 years of long distance), we have been living together for two years and get married in Oct. Til this day we love each other very much, and is because we see each other as best friends before partners.",
">\n\nBurying the lede, it’s just better than apps, which are fake as fuck and inflate your self worth.",
">\n\nTrue imo the best relationships are the ones where both partners fully trust and know each other's",
">\n\nI agree, but also because I cannot develop feelings or a spark for someone without knowing them for a long time first. I have never just met a person and instantly had feelings for them.",
">\n\nCompletely the opposite in my opinion. Getting to know someone and having instant sparks and slowly falling in love as you get to know more about them is the best feeling in the world. Often times friends first also break up its just a lot more traumatic and you run a lot more risks about breaking up your friend group and stuff like that.",
">\n\nI disagree. The worst relationship i had was with my best friend. She and i were so fucking toxic to each other, that when we broke up and still had to see each other (Same group of friends), we had to wait 5 years until we were ready to be friends again. \nTo all my fellow guys, don't date your female best friend, you'll end up losing a good friend",
">\n\nI think for some people it’s hard to break out of the mindset once you become friends that this person is meant for friendship. After categorizing some people as friends and others as potential love interests, it’s hard to break that boundary in your head.",
">\n\nIf the relationship ended as not platonic then it was never platonic",
">\n\nThe two best relationships I had were with people who we lived together first, became friends, and then lovers, and then partners. They were really sweet relationships and I hold them close to my heart. \nBecause of this, my rule of thumb is friends first, lovers second and it’s never failed me.",
">\n\nMy rule of thumb is the same, too. All for reasons outlined in this post.",
">\n\nYou are in the friend zone aren't you"
] |
>
That big crazy love feeling is what attaches us to a person. It’s like a drug and our brain will remember what gave us that feeling while our hearts will tell the brain to keep pursing that person who gave us that good feeling, logical or not. When bad things keep happening in a relationship that good feeling gets over weighed by the bad and that this person is now seen as someone who causes bad feelings instead.. or danger in our brain. Some relationships work out some don’t, you have to remember we hear more about those that don’t then do.
People who are strongly attracted to each other can’t be just friends, nature won’t allow it. They either stop being friends, set boundaries, or give in. I feel like those who started platonic friends means one usually likes the other more then the other does and is looking for security and safety more then chemistry and happiness. | [
"I was good friends with my husband for about 8 years before we started dating. I think we both just needed to grow up a bit. But when we told our friend group we started dating the general reactions was \"about time!\" So I guess it was obvious to everyone but us lol.",
">\n\nMe and my first wife were like rhat",
">\n\nThen what happened?",
">\n\nThen you get told \"I wish I met someone like you.\"",
">\n\nThey make for the most difficult breakups,",
">\n\nSometimes. A better phrase would be that the strongest romantic relationships are also the strongest friendships.\nAlso The honeymoon phase is all relationships. Friendships and lovers. It tends to stop in all relationship when kids get involved 😬",
">\n\nEh, I agree with OP and think it's unpopular because the number of people who meet this way is plummeting, so the acknowledgement makes those people feel insecure.\nOf course you can start a relationship romantically and have it remain successful indefinitely as long as you also build friendship along the way. But there are two key areas this method can never truly replicate:\n\n\nHaving your respect for someone develop 100% independently of your attraction to them. I know a fair number of couples that can't seem to untangle respect and attraction. So when their partner falls in attractiveness it also lowers their overall respect for them. Sometimes that tracks... But sometimes it doesn't (for example, after kids when both people are too tired muster much attraction). Eventually, it leads to problems.\n\n\nAccountability. When you meet through and share a community, there are repercussions for acting a fool. When your only connection to each other is your relationship, there is less incentive to remain civil because you won't be judged/punished by 3rd parties if you don't.\n\n\nIf you look at the complaints that GenZ and younger Millennials have about dating, a lot them can be summed up as \"I'm being treated like a commodity, not like a person.\" Having mutual social ties prevents a lot of that.\nI 100% agree with you about the Honeymoon phase though. After 3 years of being close friends, I started dating my now fiance. Strongest Honeymoon phase I've ever experienced, and also the longest - it's yet to end two years in (and we won't be having kids, so maybe it never will).",
">\n\nIf you meet somebody you’re attracted to, there is no reason you can’t build your romantic relationship along with your friendship. This is typically what i did in all of my relationships. If we couldn’t connect on a more in depth way than attraction, the relationship didn’t last long enough to even call it a relationship. \nA romantic relationship isn’t different than any other except romantic ones tend to involve people feeling more intimate with each other. But it’s the same as if you meet somebody you could never be attracted to. You get to know them. It’s all just regular relationship stuff. If you get into a relationship and don’t bond with that person, friendship or romantic or even family, it doesn’t matter. It’s going to be a fail",
">\n\nI met my wife in a bar. I was drunk as shit and my pickup line was \"You're cute, wanna make out?\"\nShe said \"hell no\", but I talked to her again the next day when I was sober and we hit it off instantly. \nI think the best relationships just don't involve the games, or one person chasing until the other finally settles and gives in.",
">\n\nThis is at least plausible. I agree that the strongest romantic relationships contain an element of robust friendship, but I'm not sure that you need to START like this first. It's possible to develop romance and friendship concurrently.",
">\n\n\nIt's possible to develop romance and friendship concurrently.\n\nI really think this is what happened between my wife and I. We met online gaming in 2000. That doesn't sound revolutinary by today's standards but then it was. We talked more and more and it just kind of developed that we were friends, then it moved to RL and not just games. We became best friends and lovers all at the same time. Been together ever since.",
">\n\n\nWe met online gaming in 2000. Been together ever since.\n\nDon't give redditors too much hope..\njk congrats!",
">\n\nLOL. It was a text based online trivia game. No photos no voice. Just text. You really get to know someone that way. No distractions.",
">\n\nAgreeable. I wouldnt say \"The strongest romantic relationships\" HAVE to start that way, but the ones that do tend to be strong romantic relationships.",
">\n\nI think you’re projecting. My 25 years-and-counting relationship with my wife started out on a foundation of raw, animalistic lust.",
">\n\nBut on the other hand there are plenty of people that are best friends, try to date and realize they have no romantic thing, and afterwards it's getting weird etc. \nYou need a romantic and friendship-base, if you want to stay happy togehter. But what comes first is basically irrelevant.",
">\n\nThat’s great since every time I’ve caught feelings for a friend I also lost them as a friend",
">\n\nThe trick is to not stare at them intently for too long at a time",
">\n\nPeople struggle with dating because of these types of opinions. There is no one way to develop a good relationship, there are many. And one way that works for some people can be the exact reason it fails for others. It depends on everyone involved.",
">\n\nTotally agree, I was friends with my wife for 2 years before we began dating. We will be having our 15th wedding anniversary in a couple weeks.",
">\n\nCongratulations! Yay for best friends!!",
">\n\nI sorta disagree, from personal experience.\nWhen I dated someone who I'd been friends with for years, it didn't turn out well. Yeah sure, I knew the bad and good things about them. But that's a double edged sword, because they figured that I would 'be okay with' the same things now that we were in a relationship. There was nothing new for me to learn about him and no bonding experiences that could help us know each other deeper/better, because we already knew each other incredibly well. He wouldn't shut up about his ex before or during our relationship. I gave him an ultimatum and he only continued. I broke up with him and then became an ex he won't shut up about. \nHowever, when I met my current long distance partner, we only knew each other a month before getting together, as there was relatively quick mutual attraction. Our relationship is now 5 years strong and learning new things about them is/has been a bonding experience that I didn't have with the aforementioned ex of mine.\nSo, I think this isn't true in all cases.",
">\n\nI think you don't mean the strongest but safest. All of the things you mentioned are found in long term partners of dating apps and such as well, but of course they also might not be.\nWhat you're describing is every long term relationship. The trust building, the friendship. And yes you don't always find that on dating apps vs being friends first. But dating apps offer you a large pool to chose from which is generally much larger than your friend group.\nBut you also have to remember the downsides of dating a friend too. If it doesn't work out what happens to your friendship or friend group? Were you just friends to get close enough to date because that's kinda shitty. Not to mention it's hard to know if they're actually like you or don't want to lose a friend so go along with it.",
">\n\nNot for me, I've been with A LOT of people, I've dated a few as well. My current gf and future wife met when she came into my shop to get piercings done with her friends, she called the shop afterwards and we had sex the next day. We have been dating ever since ( 3 years ) and she Is the first woman I trust completely and feel comfortable and know I want to spend my entire life with her, my last relationship was 9 years, we were friends before that, the one before that was 6 years, also friends before. So, no, there really is no rules for making the \"perfect relationship\". My \"one night stand\" turned into the woman im going to spend my life with. Seems others have pointed this out as well. This is projection",
">\n\nMy friend found his first girlfriend on Tindr and she was an abusive narcassist (he left her thank god)\nI was a platonic friend with my bf for 3 years before dating him, and we love each other so fucking much",
">\n\nGood for you!\nNonetheless, all scenarios exist around the same percentage:\n- starting as friends becoming good romantic\n- starting as friends and not being good romantic partners\n- starting as a date/lust and becoming good romantically\n- starting as a date/lust and it does not work out",
">\n\nNot the same percentage, OP is right that you'll find a fulfilling relationship more often in person and starting off as friends.",
">\n\nNot that I don’t believe you, but do you have a source?\nThe best relationships I know are from people in the middle: dating, never knew (or interacted with) each other but taking it slow. People who jump too quickly end up fighting, and the people who were friends for so long do manage, but at the end it seems they do divorce because the spark is gone\nAgain, got no proof for that. Just what it seems",
">\n\nYou're asking me for sauce and yet you have failed to provide sauce yourself for your claim that all relationship types are equally occuring. You can only make a subjetive opinion on the matter and our views will be completely different because experiences are uniaue to the individual.\nPeople who enter marriages quickly end up leaving soon because they failed to know each other better. But instead of dating, they could've literally been friends for a long time and that qualifies for 'getting to know each other' and so jumping into marriage might end up being long term. I guess its dofferent for everyone, but I always wanted to meet my partner in real life either at study or work because I know we would be similar on those grounds. I did and I'm happy, and I'm happy because I got to know him more in the safe friendzone. It was a slow process but it was worth it.",
">\n\nI somewhat agree, but not everyone is lucky enough to have or can stay in social circles where you find your s/o.",
">\n\nI think it kinda boils down to the question, what was first, egg or chicken. You won't have full romantic relationship without sex and the same goes for lust based ones only.\nThis is bit of a myth that you can grow yourself a partner, especially after teenage phase, so you either hit or not into someone compatible making it a luck game, requiring lot of volume to get some points. You can start with passionate sex and just score the best partner in the world or you can start with friendship and never make it till some phase.",
">\n\nIs their proof because my evidence says every time u do that she cheats and you lose a good friend",
">\n\nI actually don't think this is as unpopular as you might think. I think at least some people looking for a steamy romance are not necessarily thinking about a life partner, which is totally ok. In the context of looking for a life partner, this seems pretty common.\nThat said, there are some cases where I'd strongly disagree. Dating allows you to filter people out who have definite life incompatibilities with you. Falling for your friends is great if your friend is compatible with you, but sometimes they're not. I've fallen in love with two close friends, neither who I ever would have gone on a date with (both of them fell for me back). In the end, the friendships turned toxic and fell apart because we wanted things from each other that we actually weren't willing to give, given what we wanted from life. I've honestly had much better luck falling in lust with someone, hanging out with them to see if we're baseline compatible, if not long term, and going from there. This isn't like a one-size-fits-all, but there are definite reasons to date strangers.",
">\n\nI’m in a 5 year relationship with someone who I was friends with. I knew him for like ten years now. I do disagree tho, we definitely had a honeymoon phase",
">\n\nNo. This type of shit is what leads mfs that you just want to be friends with to have some false ass hope for the future. I hate this and if someone just wants to be friends they just want to be friends. I'm not saying it never happens but 9/10 if you don't see them that way..... you never will",
">\n\nI started dating my now wife after we were friends for four years. Sparks are overrated.",
">\n\nI wasn't looking for a relationship. Eventually it just happened.",
">\n\nI fell for my husband after being friends for seven months. I had no initial attraction to him, we were just in the same field in doctoral school and interacted a lot. I was actually in another relationship when I first met him. It wasn’t until we worked closely together and got to know each other on a deeper level months later that a spark started to form. After all those months, I suddenly felt such a deep attraction to him I couldn’t ignore it. \nAll of my previous relationships were like that too. I have never felt instant attraction to any person. It always had to grow with time.",
">\n\nThat's how it worked out for me.",
">\n\nI already knew all of those things about my wife because I was working a crap job for low pay when we met. The entire reason I went back to school was for her. It still took four more years to finish my degree and I didn’t have very much money or time between work and school. She stuck with me through those hard times. I didn’t have to just be her friend but she definitely let it be known that she wouldn’t marry me until I finished college. :)",
">\n\nVery true in my case. I didn’t notice him for years. Then we were just friends. Then best friends. Then best friends that say “I love you” to each-other. But finally i resized my true feelings. Ive been with him 2 long years. I wish I loved him sooner because he’s amazing.",
">\n\nThey make for the most difficult breakups, too.",
">\n\nMaybe, but I dont ruin friendships cuz they are valuable so no.",
">\n\nThis is so true. Friends first! I met my fiance on Facebook through our college class group. I dm'd her first and we spoke for three months as really good friends before meeting in person in the fall. That first week we clicked and knew our intentions. We never expected to date. Fast forward 10 years later ( including 3 years of long distance), we have been living together for two years and get married in Oct. Til this day we love each other very much, and is because we see each other as best friends before partners.",
">\n\nBurying the lede, it’s just better than apps, which are fake as fuck and inflate your self worth.",
">\n\nTrue imo the best relationships are the ones where both partners fully trust and know each other's",
">\n\nI agree, but also because I cannot develop feelings or a spark for someone without knowing them for a long time first. I have never just met a person and instantly had feelings for them.",
">\n\nCompletely the opposite in my opinion. Getting to know someone and having instant sparks and slowly falling in love as you get to know more about them is the best feeling in the world. Often times friends first also break up its just a lot more traumatic and you run a lot more risks about breaking up your friend group and stuff like that.",
">\n\nI disagree. The worst relationship i had was with my best friend. She and i were so fucking toxic to each other, that when we broke up and still had to see each other (Same group of friends), we had to wait 5 years until we were ready to be friends again. \nTo all my fellow guys, don't date your female best friend, you'll end up losing a good friend",
">\n\nI think for some people it’s hard to break out of the mindset once you become friends that this person is meant for friendship. After categorizing some people as friends and others as potential love interests, it’s hard to break that boundary in your head.",
">\n\nIf the relationship ended as not platonic then it was never platonic",
">\n\nThe two best relationships I had were with people who we lived together first, became friends, and then lovers, and then partners. They were really sweet relationships and I hold them close to my heart. \nBecause of this, my rule of thumb is friends first, lovers second and it’s never failed me.",
">\n\nMy rule of thumb is the same, too. All for reasons outlined in this post.",
">\n\nYou are in the friend zone aren't you",
">\n\nStrong disagree. Platonic friendships lead to chemistry-less marriages. Was definitely not friends with my husband before we got married, fancied him too much and still do"
] |
>
Nah, for some of us to get that “in love” feeling we have to know someone for a long time. I never just meet someone and feel anything for them. It took me seven months of friendship to fall for my now husband, but when I finally did, it was every bit as powerful and very much that “drug addicted spark” feeling that you are describing. So I think we are all just different with this. | [
"I was good friends with my husband for about 8 years before we started dating. I think we both just needed to grow up a bit. But when we told our friend group we started dating the general reactions was \"about time!\" So I guess it was obvious to everyone but us lol.",
">\n\nMe and my first wife were like rhat",
">\n\nThen what happened?",
">\n\nThen you get told \"I wish I met someone like you.\"",
">\n\nThey make for the most difficult breakups,",
">\n\nSometimes. A better phrase would be that the strongest romantic relationships are also the strongest friendships.\nAlso The honeymoon phase is all relationships. Friendships and lovers. It tends to stop in all relationship when kids get involved 😬",
">\n\nEh, I agree with OP and think it's unpopular because the number of people who meet this way is plummeting, so the acknowledgement makes those people feel insecure.\nOf course you can start a relationship romantically and have it remain successful indefinitely as long as you also build friendship along the way. But there are two key areas this method can never truly replicate:\n\n\nHaving your respect for someone develop 100% independently of your attraction to them. I know a fair number of couples that can't seem to untangle respect and attraction. So when their partner falls in attractiveness it also lowers their overall respect for them. Sometimes that tracks... But sometimes it doesn't (for example, after kids when both people are too tired muster much attraction). Eventually, it leads to problems.\n\n\nAccountability. When you meet through and share a community, there are repercussions for acting a fool. When your only connection to each other is your relationship, there is less incentive to remain civil because you won't be judged/punished by 3rd parties if you don't.\n\n\nIf you look at the complaints that GenZ and younger Millennials have about dating, a lot them can be summed up as \"I'm being treated like a commodity, not like a person.\" Having mutual social ties prevents a lot of that.\nI 100% agree with you about the Honeymoon phase though. After 3 years of being close friends, I started dating my now fiance. Strongest Honeymoon phase I've ever experienced, and also the longest - it's yet to end two years in (and we won't be having kids, so maybe it never will).",
">\n\nIf you meet somebody you’re attracted to, there is no reason you can’t build your romantic relationship along with your friendship. This is typically what i did in all of my relationships. If we couldn’t connect on a more in depth way than attraction, the relationship didn’t last long enough to even call it a relationship. \nA romantic relationship isn’t different than any other except romantic ones tend to involve people feeling more intimate with each other. But it’s the same as if you meet somebody you could never be attracted to. You get to know them. It’s all just regular relationship stuff. If you get into a relationship and don’t bond with that person, friendship or romantic or even family, it doesn’t matter. It’s going to be a fail",
">\n\nI met my wife in a bar. I was drunk as shit and my pickup line was \"You're cute, wanna make out?\"\nShe said \"hell no\", but I talked to her again the next day when I was sober and we hit it off instantly. \nI think the best relationships just don't involve the games, or one person chasing until the other finally settles and gives in.",
">\n\nThis is at least plausible. I agree that the strongest romantic relationships contain an element of robust friendship, but I'm not sure that you need to START like this first. It's possible to develop romance and friendship concurrently.",
">\n\n\nIt's possible to develop romance and friendship concurrently.\n\nI really think this is what happened between my wife and I. We met online gaming in 2000. That doesn't sound revolutinary by today's standards but then it was. We talked more and more and it just kind of developed that we were friends, then it moved to RL and not just games. We became best friends and lovers all at the same time. Been together ever since.",
">\n\n\nWe met online gaming in 2000. Been together ever since.\n\nDon't give redditors too much hope..\njk congrats!",
">\n\nLOL. It was a text based online trivia game. No photos no voice. Just text. You really get to know someone that way. No distractions.",
">\n\nAgreeable. I wouldnt say \"The strongest romantic relationships\" HAVE to start that way, but the ones that do tend to be strong romantic relationships.",
">\n\nI think you’re projecting. My 25 years-and-counting relationship with my wife started out on a foundation of raw, animalistic lust.",
">\n\nBut on the other hand there are plenty of people that are best friends, try to date and realize they have no romantic thing, and afterwards it's getting weird etc. \nYou need a romantic and friendship-base, if you want to stay happy togehter. But what comes first is basically irrelevant.",
">\n\nThat’s great since every time I’ve caught feelings for a friend I also lost them as a friend",
">\n\nThe trick is to not stare at them intently for too long at a time",
">\n\nPeople struggle with dating because of these types of opinions. There is no one way to develop a good relationship, there are many. And one way that works for some people can be the exact reason it fails for others. It depends on everyone involved.",
">\n\nTotally agree, I was friends with my wife for 2 years before we began dating. We will be having our 15th wedding anniversary in a couple weeks.",
">\n\nCongratulations! Yay for best friends!!",
">\n\nI sorta disagree, from personal experience.\nWhen I dated someone who I'd been friends with for years, it didn't turn out well. Yeah sure, I knew the bad and good things about them. But that's a double edged sword, because they figured that I would 'be okay with' the same things now that we were in a relationship. There was nothing new for me to learn about him and no bonding experiences that could help us know each other deeper/better, because we already knew each other incredibly well. He wouldn't shut up about his ex before or during our relationship. I gave him an ultimatum and he only continued. I broke up with him and then became an ex he won't shut up about. \nHowever, when I met my current long distance partner, we only knew each other a month before getting together, as there was relatively quick mutual attraction. Our relationship is now 5 years strong and learning new things about them is/has been a bonding experience that I didn't have with the aforementioned ex of mine.\nSo, I think this isn't true in all cases.",
">\n\nI think you don't mean the strongest but safest. All of the things you mentioned are found in long term partners of dating apps and such as well, but of course they also might not be.\nWhat you're describing is every long term relationship. The trust building, the friendship. And yes you don't always find that on dating apps vs being friends first. But dating apps offer you a large pool to chose from which is generally much larger than your friend group.\nBut you also have to remember the downsides of dating a friend too. If it doesn't work out what happens to your friendship or friend group? Were you just friends to get close enough to date because that's kinda shitty. Not to mention it's hard to know if they're actually like you or don't want to lose a friend so go along with it.",
">\n\nNot for me, I've been with A LOT of people, I've dated a few as well. My current gf and future wife met when she came into my shop to get piercings done with her friends, she called the shop afterwards and we had sex the next day. We have been dating ever since ( 3 years ) and she Is the first woman I trust completely and feel comfortable and know I want to spend my entire life with her, my last relationship was 9 years, we were friends before that, the one before that was 6 years, also friends before. So, no, there really is no rules for making the \"perfect relationship\". My \"one night stand\" turned into the woman im going to spend my life with. Seems others have pointed this out as well. This is projection",
">\n\nMy friend found his first girlfriend on Tindr and she was an abusive narcassist (he left her thank god)\nI was a platonic friend with my bf for 3 years before dating him, and we love each other so fucking much",
">\n\nGood for you!\nNonetheless, all scenarios exist around the same percentage:\n- starting as friends becoming good romantic\n- starting as friends and not being good romantic partners\n- starting as a date/lust and becoming good romantically\n- starting as a date/lust and it does not work out",
">\n\nNot the same percentage, OP is right that you'll find a fulfilling relationship more often in person and starting off as friends.",
">\n\nNot that I don’t believe you, but do you have a source?\nThe best relationships I know are from people in the middle: dating, never knew (or interacted with) each other but taking it slow. People who jump too quickly end up fighting, and the people who were friends for so long do manage, but at the end it seems they do divorce because the spark is gone\nAgain, got no proof for that. Just what it seems",
">\n\nYou're asking me for sauce and yet you have failed to provide sauce yourself for your claim that all relationship types are equally occuring. You can only make a subjetive opinion on the matter and our views will be completely different because experiences are uniaue to the individual.\nPeople who enter marriages quickly end up leaving soon because they failed to know each other better. But instead of dating, they could've literally been friends for a long time and that qualifies for 'getting to know each other' and so jumping into marriage might end up being long term. I guess its dofferent for everyone, but I always wanted to meet my partner in real life either at study or work because I know we would be similar on those grounds. I did and I'm happy, and I'm happy because I got to know him more in the safe friendzone. It was a slow process but it was worth it.",
">\n\nI somewhat agree, but not everyone is lucky enough to have or can stay in social circles where you find your s/o.",
">\n\nI think it kinda boils down to the question, what was first, egg or chicken. You won't have full romantic relationship without sex and the same goes for lust based ones only.\nThis is bit of a myth that you can grow yourself a partner, especially after teenage phase, so you either hit or not into someone compatible making it a luck game, requiring lot of volume to get some points. You can start with passionate sex and just score the best partner in the world or you can start with friendship and never make it till some phase.",
">\n\nIs their proof because my evidence says every time u do that she cheats and you lose a good friend",
">\n\nI actually don't think this is as unpopular as you might think. I think at least some people looking for a steamy romance are not necessarily thinking about a life partner, which is totally ok. In the context of looking for a life partner, this seems pretty common.\nThat said, there are some cases where I'd strongly disagree. Dating allows you to filter people out who have definite life incompatibilities with you. Falling for your friends is great if your friend is compatible with you, but sometimes they're not. I've fallen in love with two close friends, neither who I ever would have gone on a date with (both of them fell for me back). In the end, the friendships turned toxic and fell apart because we wanted things from each other that we actually weren't willing to give, given what we wanted from life. I've honestly had much better luck falling in lust with someone, hanging out with them to see if we're baseline compatible, if not long term, and going from there. This isn't like a one-size-fits-all, but there are definite reasons to date strangers.",
">\n\nI’m in a 5 year relationship with someone who I was friends with. I knew him for like ten years now. I do disagree tho, we definitely had a honeymoon phase",
">\n\nNo. This type of shit is what leads mfs that you just want to be friends with to have some false ass hope for the future. I hate this and if someone just wants to be friends they just want to be friends. I'm not saying it never happens but 9/10 if you don't see them that way..... you never will",
">\n\nI started dating my now wife after we were friends for four years. Sparks are overrated.",
">\n\nI wasn't looking for a relationship. Eventually it just happened.",
">\n\nI fell for my husband after being friends for seven months. I had no initial attraction to him, we were just in the same field in doctoral school and interacted a lot. I was actually in another relationship when I first met him. It wasn’t until we worked closely together and got to know each other on a deeper level months later that a spark started to form. After all those months, I suddenly felt such a deep attraction to him I couldn’t ignore it. \nAll of my previous relationships were like that too. I have never felt instant attraction to any person. It always had to grow with time.",
">\n\nThat's how it worked out for me.",
">\n\nI already knew all of those things about my wife because I was working a crap job for low pay when we met. The entire reason I went back to school was for her. It still took four more years to finish my degree and I didn’t have very much money or time between work and school. She stuck with me through those hard times. I didn’t have to just be her friend but she definitely let it be known that she wouldn’t marry me until I finished college. :)",
">\n\nVery true in my case. I didn’t notice him for years. Then we were just friends. Then best friends. Then best friends that say “I love you” to each-other. But finally i resized my true feelings. Ive been with him 2 long years. I wish I loved him sooner because he’s amazing.",
">\n\nThey make for the most difficult breakups, too.",
">\n\nMaybe, but I dont ruin friendships cuz they are valuable so no.",
">\n\nThis is so true. Friends first! I met my fiance on Facebook through our college class group. I dm'd her first and we spoke for three months as really good friends before meeting in person in the fall. That first week we clicked and knew our intentions. We never expected to date. Fast forward 10 years later ( including 3 years of long distance), we have been living together for two years and get married in Oct. Til this day we love each other very much, and is because we see each other as best friends before partners.",
">\n\nBurying the lede, it’s just better than apps, which are fake as fuck and inflate your self worth.",
">\n\nTrue imo the best relationships are the ones where both partners fully trust and know each other's",
">\n\nI agree, but also because I cannot develop feelings or a spark for someone without knowing them for a long time first. I have never just met a person and instantly had feelings for them.",
">\n\nCompletely the opposite in my opinion. Getting to know someone and having instant sparks and slowly falling in love as you get to know more about them is the best feeling in the world. Often times friends first also break up its just a lot more traumatic and you run a lot more risks about breaking up your friend group and stuff like that.",
">\n\nI disagree. The worst relationship i had was with my best friend. She and i were so fucking toxic to each other, that when we broke up and still had to see each other (Same group of friends), we had to wait 5 years until we were ready to be friends again. \nTo all my fellow guys, don't date your female best friend, you'll end up losing a good friend",
">\n\nI think for some people it’s hard to break out of the mindset once you become friends that this person is meant for friendship. After categorizing some people as friends and others as potential love interests, it’s hard to break that boundary in your head.",
">\n\nIf the relationship ended as not platonic then it was never platonic",
">\n\nThe two best relationships I had were with people who we lived together first, became friends, and then lovers, and then partners. They were really sweet relationships and I hold them close to my heart. \nBecause of this, my rule of thumb is friends first, lovers second and it’s never failed me.",
">\n\nMy rule of thumb is the same, too. All for reasons outlined in this post.",
">\n\nYou are in the friend zone aren't you",
">\n\nStrong disagree. Platonic friendships lead to chemistry-less marriages. Was definitely not friends with my husband before we got married, fancied him too much and still do",
">\n\nThat big crazy love feeling is what attaches us to a person. It’s like a drug and our brain will remember what gave us that feeling while our hearts will tell the brain to keep pursing that person who gave us that good feeling, logical or not. When bad things keep happening in a relationship that good feeling gets over weighed by the bad and that this person is now seen as someone who causes bad feelings instead.. or danger in our brain. Some relationships work out some don’t, you have to remember we hear more about those that don’t then do.\nPeople who are strongly attracted to each other can’t be just friends, nature won’t allow it. They either stop being friends, set boundaries, or give in. I feel like those who started platonic friends means one usually likes the other more then the other does and is looking for security and safety more then chemistry and happiness."
] |
>
Took y’all 7 months to give in is all I’m hearing. You felt connection towards each other. | [
"I was good friends with my husband for about 8 years before we started dating. I think we both just needed to grow up a bit. But when we told our friend group we started dating the general reactions was \"about time!\" So I guess it was obvious to everyone but us lol.",
">\n\nMe and my first wife were like rhat",
">\n\nThen what happened?",
">\n\nThen you get told \"I wish I met someone like you.\"",
">\n\nThey make for the most difficult breakups,",
">\n\nSometimes. A better phrase would be that the strongest romantic relationships are also the strongest friendships.\nAlso The honeymoon phase is all relationships. Friendships and lovers. It tends to stop in all relationship when kids get involved 😬",
">\n\nEh, I agree with OP and think it's unpopular because the number of people who meet this way is plummeting, so the acknowledgement makes those people feel insecure.\nOf course you can start a relationship romantically and have it remain successful indefinitely as long as you also build friendship along the way. But there are two key areas this method can never truly replicate:\n\n\nHaving your respect for someone develop 100% independently of your attraction to them. I know a fair number of couples that can't seem to untangle respect and attraction. So when their partner falls in attractiveness it also lowers their overall respect for them. Sometimes that tracks... But sometimes it doesn't (for example, after kids when both people are too tired muster much attraction). Eventually, it leads to problems.\n\n\nAccountability. When you meet through and share a community, there are repercussions for acting a fool. When your only connection to each other is your relationship, there is less incentive to remain civil because you won't be judged/punished by 3rd parties if you don't.\n\n\nIf you look at the complaints that GenZ and younger Millennials have about dating, a lot them can be summed up as \"I'm being treated like a commodity, not like a person.\" Having mutual social ties prevents a lot of that.\nI 100% agree with you about the Honeymoon phase though. After 3 years of being close friends, I started dating my now fiance. Strongest Honeymoon phase I've ever experienced, and also the longest - it's yet to end two years in (and we won't be having kids, so maybe it never will).",
">\n\nIf you meet somebody you’re attracted to, there is no reason you can’t build your romantic relationship along with your friendship. This is typically what i did in all of my relationships. If we couldn’t connect on a more in depth way than attraction, the relationship didn’t last long enough to even call it a relationship. \nA romantic relationship isn’t different than any other except romantic ones tend to involve people feeling more intimate with each other. But it’s the same as if you meet somebody you could never be attracted to. You get to know them. It’s all just regular relationship stuff. If you get into a relationship and don’t bond with that person, friendship or romantic or even family, it doesn’t matter. It’s going to be a fail",
">\n\nI met my wife in a bar. I was drunk as shit and my pickup line was \"You're cute, wanna make out?\"\nShe said \"hell no\", but I talked to her again the next day when I was sober and we hit it off instantly. \nI think the best relationships just don't involve the games, or one person chasing until the other finally settles and gives in.",
">\n\nThis is at least plausible. I agree that the strongest romantic relationships contain an element of robust friendship, but I'm not sure that you need to START like this first. It's possible to develop romance and friendship concurrently.",
">\n\n\nIt's possible to develop romance and friendship concurrently.\n\nI really think this is what happened between my wife and I. We met online gaming in 2000. That doesn't sound revolutinary by today's standards but then it was. We talked more and more and it just kind of developed that we were friends, then it moved to RL and not just games. We became best friends and lovers all at the same time. Been together ever since.",
">\n\n\nWe met online gaming in 2000. Been together ever since.\n\nDon't give redditors too much hope..\njk congrats!",
">\n\nLOL. It was a text based online trivia game. No photos no voice. Just text. You really get to know someone that way. No distractions.",
">\n\nAgreeable. I wouldnt say \"The strongest romantic relationships\" HAVE to start that way, but the ones that do tend to be strong romantic relationships.",
">\n\nI think you’re projecting. My 25 years-and-counting relationship with my wife started out on a foundation of raw, animalistic lust.",
">\n\nBut on the other hand there are plenty of people that are best friends, try to date and realize they have no romantic thing, and afterwards it's getting weird etc. \nYou need a romantic and friendship-base, if you want to stay happy togehter. But what comes first is basically irrelevant.",
">\n\nThat’s great since every time I’ve caught feelings for a friend I also lost them as a friend",
">\n\nThe trick is to not stare at them intently for too long at a time",
">\n\nPeople struggle with dating because of these types of opinions. There is no one way to develop a good relationship, there are many. And one way that works for some people can be the exact reason it fails for others. It depends on everyone involved.",
">\n\nTotally agree, I was friends with my wife for 2 years before we began dating. We will be having our 15th wedding anniversary in a couple weeks.",
">\n\nCongratulations! Yay for best friends!!",
">\n\nI sorta disagree, from personal experience.\nWhen I dated someone who I'd been friends with for years, it didn't turn out well. Yeah sure, I knew the bad and good things about them. But that's a double edged sword, because they figured that I would 'be okay with' the same things now that we were in a relationship. There was nothing new for me to learn about him and no bonding experiences that could help us know each other deeper/better, because we already knew each other incredibly well. He wouldn't shut up about his ex before or during our relationship. I gave him an ultimatum and he only continued. I broke up with him and then became an ex he won't shut up about. \nHowever, when I met my current long distance partner, we only knew each other a month before getting together, as there was relatively quick mutual attraction. Our relationship is now 5 years strong and learning new things about them is/has been a bonding experience that I didn't have with the aforementioned ex of mine.\nSo, I think this isn't true in all cases.",
">\n\nI think you don't mean the strongest but safest. All of the things you mentioned are found in long term partners of dating apps and such as well, but of course they also might not be.\nWhat you're describing is every long term relationship. The trust building, the friendship. And yes you don't always find that on dating apps vs being friends first. But dating apps offer you a large pool to chose from which is generally much larger than your friend group.\nBut you also have to remember the downsides of dating a friend too. If it doesn't work out what happens to your friendship or friend group? Were you just friends to get close enough to date because that's kinda shitty. Not to mention it's hard to know if they're actually like you or don't want to lose a friend so go along with it.",
">\n\nNot for me, I've been with A LOT of people, I've dated a few as well. My current gf and future wife met when she came into my shop to get piercings done with her friends, she called the shop afterwards and we had sex the next day. We have been dating ever since ( 3 years ) and she Is the first woman I trust completely and feel comfortable and know I want to spend my entire life with her, my last relationship was 9 years, we were friends before that, the one before that was 6 years, also friends before. So, no, there really is no rules for making the \"perfect relationship\". My \"one night stand\" turned into the woman im going to spend my life with. Seems others have pointed this out as well. This is projection",
">\n\nMy friend found his first girlfriend on Tindr and she was an abusive narcassist (he left her thank god)\nI was a platonic friend with my bf for 3 years before dating him, and we love each other so fucking much",
">\n\nGood for you!\nNonetheless, all scenarios exist around the same percentage:\n- starting as friends becoming good romantic\n- starting as friends and not being good romantic partners\n- starting as a date/lust and becoming good romantically\n- starting as a date/lust and it does not work out",
">\n\nNot the same percentage, OP is right that you'll find a fulfilling relationship more often in person and starting off as friends.",
">\n\nNot that I don’t believe you, but do you have a source?\nThe best relationships I know are from people in the middle: dating, never knew (or interacted with) each other but taking it slow. People who jump too quickly end up fighting, and the people who were friends for so long do manage, but at the end it seems they do divorce because the spark is gone\nAgain, got no proof for that. Just what it seems",
">\n\nYou're asking me for sauce and yet you have failed to provide sauce yourself for your claim that all relationship types are equally occuring. You can only make a subjetive opinion on the matter and our views will be completely different because experiences are uniaue to the individual.\nPeople who enter marriages quickly end up leaving soon because they failed to know each other better. But instead of dating, they could've literally been friends for a long time and that qualifies for 'getting to know each other' and so jumping into marriage might end up being long term. I guess its dofferent for everyone, but I always wanted to meet my partner in real life either at study or work because I know we would be similar on those grounds. I did and I'm happy, and I'm happy because I got to know him more in the safe friendzone. It was a slow process but it was worth it.",
">\n\nI somewhat agree, but not everyone is lucky enough to have or can stay in social circles where you find your s/o.",
">\n\nI think it kinda boils down to the question, what was first, egg or chicken. You won't have full romantic relationship without sex and the same goes for lust based ones only.\nThis is bit of a myth that you can grow yourself a partner, especially after teenage phase, so you either hit or not into someone compatible making it a luck game, requiring lot of volume to get some points. You can start with passionate sex and just score the best partner in the world or you can start with friendship and never make it till some phase.",
">\n\nIs their proof because my evidence says every time u do that she cheats and you lose a good friend",
">\n\nI actually don't think this is as unpopular as you might think. I think at least some people looking for a steamy romance are not necessarily thinking about a life partner, which is totally ok. In the context of looking for a life partner, this seems pretty common.\nThat said, there are some cases where I'd strongly disagree. Dating allows you to filter people out who have definite life incompatibilities with you. Falling for your friends is great if your friend is compatible with you, but sometimes they're not. I've fallen in love with two close friends, neither who I ever would have gone on a date with (both of them fell for me back). In the end, the friendships turned toxic and fell apart because we wanted things from each other that we actually weren't willing to give, given what we wanted from life. I've honestly had much better luck falling in lust with someone, hanging out with them to see if we're baseline compatible, if not long term, and going from there. This isn't like a one-size-fits-all, but there are definite reasons to date strangers.",
">\n\nI’m in a 5 year relationship with someone who I was friends with. I knew him for like ten years now. I do disagree tho, we definitely had a honeymoon phase",
">\n\nNo. This type of shit is what leads mfs that you just want to be friends with to have some false ass hope for the future. I hate this and if someone just wants to be friends they just want to be friends. I'm not saying it never happens but 9/10 if you don't see them that way..... you never will",
">\n\nI started dating my now wife after we were friends for four years. Sparks are overrated.",
">\n\nI wasn't looking for a relationship. Eventually it just happened.",
">\n\nI fell for my husband after being friends for seven months. I had no initial attraction to him, we were just in the same field in doctoral school and interacted a lot. I was actually in another relationship when I first met him. It wasn’t until we worked closely together and got to know each other on a deeper level months later that a spark started to form. After all those months, I suddenly felt such a deep attraction to him I couldn’t ignore it. \nAll of my previous relationships were like that too. I have never felt instant attraction to any person. It always had to grow with time.",
">\n\nThat's how it worked out for me.",
">\n\nI already knew all of those things about my wife because I was working a crap job for low pay when we met. The entire reason I went back to school was for her. It still took four more years to finish my degree and I didn’t have very much money or time between work and school. She stuck with me through those hard times. I didn’t have to just be her friend but she definitely let it be known that she wouldn’t marry me until I finished college. :)",
">\n\nVery true in my case. I didn’t notice him for years. Then we were just friends. Then best friends. Then best friends that say “I love you” to each-other. But finally i resized my true feelings. Ive been with him 2 long years. I wish I loved him sooner because he’s amazing.",
">\n\nThey make for the most difficult breakups, too.",
">\n\nMaybe, but I dont ruin friendships cuz they are valuable so no.",
">\n\nThis is so true. Friends first! I met my fiance on Facebook through our college class group. I dm'd her first and we spoke for three months as really good friends before meeting in person in the fall. That first week we clicked and knew our intentions. We never expected to date. Fast forward 10 years later ( including 3 years of long distance), we have been living together for two years and get married in Oct. Til this day we love each other very much, and is because we see each other as best friends before partners.",
">\n\nBurying the lede, it’s just better than apps, which are fake as fuck and inflate your self worth.",
">\n\nTrue imo the best relationships are the ones where both partners fully trust and know each other's",
">\n\nI agree, but also because I cannot develop feelings or a spark for someone without knowing them for a long time first. I have never just met a person and instantly had feelings for them.",
">\n\nCompletely the opposite in my opinion. Getting to know someone and having instant sparks and slowly falling in love as you get to know more about them is the best feeling in the world. Often times friends first also break up its just a lot more traumatic and you run a lot more risks about breaking up your friend group and stuff like that.",
">\n\nI disagree. The worst relationship i had was with my best friend. She and i were so fucking toxic to each other, that when we broke up and still had to see each other (Same group of friends), we had to wait 5 years until we were ready to be friends again. \nTo all my fellow guys, don't date your female best friend, you'll end up losing a good friend",
">\n\nI think for some people it’s hard to break out of the mindset once you become friends that this person is meant for friendship. After categorizing some people as friends and others as potential love interests, it’s hard to break that boundary in your head.",
">\n\nIf the relationship ended as not platonic then it was never platonic",
">\n\nThe two best relationships I had were with people who we lived together first, became friends, and then lovers, and then partners. They were really sweet relationships and I hold them close to my heart. \nBecause of this, my rule of thumb is friends first, lovers second and it’s never failed me.",
">\n\nMy rule of thumb is the same, too. All for reasons outlined in this post.",
">\n\nYou are in the friend zone aren't you",
">\n\nStrong disagree. Platonic friendships lead to chemistry-less marriages. Was definitely not friends with my husband before we got married, fancied him too much and still do",
">\n\nThat big crazy love feeling is what attaches us to a person. It’s like a drug and our brain will remember what gave us that feeling while our hearts will tell the brain to keep pursing that person who gave us that good feeling, logical or not. When bad things keep happening in a relationship that good feeling gets over weighed by the bad and that this person is now seen as someone who causes bad feelings instead.. or danger in our brain. Some relationships work out some don’t, you have to remember we hear more about those that don’t then do.\nPeople who are strongly attracted to each other can’t be just friends, nature won’t allow it. They either stop being friends, set boundaries, or give in. I feel like those who started platonic friends means one usually likes the other more then the other does and is looking for security and safety more then chemistry and happiness.",
">\n\nNah, for some of us to get that “in love” feeling we have to know someone for a long time. I never just meet someone and feel anything for them. It took me seven months of friendship to fall for my now husband, but when I finally did, it was every bit as powerful and very much that “drug addicted spark” feeling that you are describing. So I think we are all just different with this."
] |
>
Nope, I legitimately was not interested in him in the beginning. I didn’t even find him physically appealing at first. Something changed once I started to interact more with him and got to know his mind over months.
And every other relationship I’ve had has been the same. I have never once felt instant connection to a person. It always takes a long time for it to set in. I need that mental connection and build up. | [
"I was good friends with my husband for about 8 years before we started dating. I think we both just needed to grow up a bit. But when we told our friend group we started dating the general reactions was \"about time!\" So I guess it was obvious to everyone but us lol.",
">\n\nMe and my first wife were like rhat",
">\n\nThen what happened?",
">\n\nThen you get told \"I wish I met someone like you.\"",
">\n\nThey make for the most difficult breakups,",
">\n\nSometimes. A better phrase would be that the strongest romantic relationships are also the strongest friendships.\nAlso The honeymoon phase is all relationships. Friendships and lovers. It tends to stop in all relationship when kids get involved 😬",
">\n\nEh, I agree with OP and think it's unpopular because the number of people who meet this way is plummeting, so the acknowledgement makes those people feel insecure.\nOf course you can start a relationship romantically and have it remain successful indefinitely as long as you also build friendship along the way. But there are two key areas this method can never truly replicate:\n\n\nHaving your respect for someone develop 100% independently of your attraction to them. I know a fair number of couples that can't seem to untangle respect and attraction. So when their partner falls in attractiveness it also lowers their overall respect for them. Sometimes that tracks... But sometimes it doesn't (for example, after kids when both people are too tired muster much attraction). Eventually, it leads to problems.\n\n\nAccountability. When you meet through and share a community, there are repercussions for acting a fool. When your only connection to each other is your relationship, there is less incentive to remain civil because you won't be judged/punished by 3rd parties if you don't.\n\n\nIf you look at the complaints that GenZ and younger Millennials have about dating, a lot them can be summed up as \"I'm being treated like a commodity, not like a person.\" Having mutual social ties prevents a lot of that.\nI 100% agree with you about the Honeymoon phase though. After 3 years of being close friends, I started dating my now fiance. Strongest Honeymoon phase I've ever experienced, and also the longest - it's yet to end two years in (and we won't be having kids, so maybe it never will).",
">\n\nIf you meet somebody you’re attracted to, there is no reason you can’t build your romantic relationship along with your friendship. This is typically what i did in all of my relationships. If we couldn’t connect on a more in depth way than attraction, the relationship didn’t last long enough to even call it a relationship. \nA romantic relationship isn’t different than any other except romantic ones tend to involve people feeling more intimate with each other. But it’s the same as if you meet somebody you could never be attracted to. You get to know them. It’s all just regular relationship stuff. If you get into a relationship and don’t bond with that person, friendship or romantic or even family, it doesn’t matter. It’s going to be a fail",
">\n\nI met my wife in a bar. I was drunk as shit and my pickup line was \"You're cute, wanna make out?\"\nShe said \"hell no\", but I talked to her again the next day when I was sober and we hit it off instantly. \nI think the best relationships just don't involve the games, or one person chasing until the other finally settles and gives in.",
">\n\nThis is at least plausible. I agree that the strongest romantic relationships contain an element of robust friendship, but I'm not sure that you need to START like this first. It's possible to develop romance and friendship concurrently.",
">\n\n\nIt's possible to develop romance and friendship concurrently.\n\nI really think this is what happened between my wife and I. We met online gaming in 2000. That doesn't sound revolutinary by today's standards but then it was. We talked more and more and it just kind of developed that we were friends, then it moved to RL and not just games. We became best friends and lovers all at the same time. Been together ever since.",
">\n\n\nWe met online gaming in 2000. Been together ever since.\n\nDon't give redditors too much hope..\njk congrats!",
">\n\nLOL. It was a text based online trivia game. No photos no voice. Just text. You really get to know someone that way. No distractions.",
">\n\nAgreeable. I wouldnt say \"The strongest romantic relationships\" HAVE to start that way, but the ones that do tend to be strong romantic relationships.",
">\n\nI think you’re projecting. My 25 years-and-counting relationship with my wife started out on a foundation of raw, animalistic lust.",
">\n\nBut on the other hand there are plenty of people that are best friends, try to date and realize they have no romantic thing, and afterwards it's getting weird etc. \nYou need a romantic and friendship-base, if you want to stay happy togehter. But what comes first is basically irrelevant.",
">\n\nThat’s great since every time I’ve caught feelings for a friend I also lost them as a friend",
">\n\nThe trick is to not stare at them intently for too long at a time",
">\n\nPeople struggle with dating because of these types of opinions. There is no one way to develop a good relationship, there are many. And one way that works for some people can be the exact reason it fails for others. It depends on everyone involved.",
">\n\nTotally agree, I was friends with my wife for 2 years before we began dating. We will be having our 15th wedding anniversary in a couple weeks.",
">\n\nCongratulations! Yay for best friends!!",
">\n\nI sorta disagree, from personal experience.\nWhen I dated someone who I'd been friends with for years, it didn't turn out well. Yeah sure, I knew the bad and good things about them. But that's a double edged sword, because they figured that I would 'be okay with' the same things now that we were in a relationship. There was nothing new for me to learn about him and no bonding experiences that could help us know each other deeper/better, because we already knew each other incredibly well. He wouldn't shut up about his ex before or during our relationship. I gave him an ultimatum and he only continued. I broke up with him and then became an ex he won't shut up about. \nHowever, when I met my current long distance partner, we only knew each other a month before getting together, as there was relatively quick mutual attraction. Our relationship is now 5 years strong and learning new things about them is/has been a bonding experience that I didn't have with the aforementioned ex of mine.\nSo, I think this isn't true in all cases.",
">\n\nI think you don't mean the strongest but safest. All of the things you mentioned are found in long term partners of dating apps and such as well, but of course they also might not be.\nWhat you're describing is every long term relationship. The trust building, the friendship. And yes you don't always find that on dating apps vs being friends first. But dating apps offer you a large pool to chose from which is generally much larger than your friend group.\nBut you also have to remember the downsides of dating a friend too. If it doesn't work out what happens to your friendship or friend group? Were you just friends to get close enough to date because that's kinda shitty. Not to mention it's hard to know if they're actually like you or don't want to lose a friend so go along with it.",
">\n\nNot for me, I've been with A LOT of people, I've dated a few as well. My current gf and future wife met when she came into my shop to get piercings done with her friends, she called the shop afterwards and we had sex the next day. We have been dating ever since ( 3 years ) and she Is the first woman I trust completely and feel comfortable and know I want to spend my entire life with her, my last relationship was 9 years, we were friends before that, the one before that was 6 years, also friends before. So, no, there really is no rules for making the \"perfect relationship\". My \"one night stand\" turned into the woman im going to spend my life with. Seems others have pointed this out as well. This is projection",
">\n\nMy friend found his first girlfriend on Tindr and she was an abusive narcassist (he left her thank god)\nI was a platonic friend with my bf for 3 years before dating him, and we love each other so fucking much",
">\n\nGood for you!\nNonetheless, all scenarios exist around the same percentage:\n- starting as friends becoming good romantic\n- starting as friends and not being good romantic partners\n- starting as a date/lust and becoming good romantically\n- starting as a date/lust and it does not work out",
">\n\nNot the same percentage, OP is right that you'll find a fulfilling relationship more often in person and starting off as friends.",
">\n\nNot that I don’t believe you, but do you have a source?\nThe best relationships I know are from people in the middle: dating, never knew (or interacted with) each other but taking it slow. People who jump too quickly end up fighting, and the people who were friends for so long do manage, but at the end it seems they do divorce because the spark is gone\nAgain, got no proof for that. Just what it seems",
">\n\nYou're asking me for sauce and yet you have failed to provide sauce yourself for your claim that all relationship types are equally occuring. You can only make a subjetive opinion on the matter and our views will be completely different because experiences are uniaue to the individual.\nPeople who enter marriages quickly end up leaving soon because they failed to know each other better. But instead of dating, they could've literally been friends for a long time and that qualifies for 'getting to know each other' and so jumping into marriage might end up being long term. I guess its dofferent for everyone, but I always wanted to meet my partner in real life either at study or work because I know we would be similar on those grounds. I did and I'm happy, and I'm happy because I got to know him more in the safe friendzone. It was a slow process but it was worth it.",
">\n\nI somewhat agree, but not everyone is lucky enough to have or can stay in social circles where you find your s/o.",
">\n\nI think it kinda boils down to the question, what was first, egg or chicken. You won't have full romantic relationship without sex and the same goes for lust based ones only.\nThis is bit of a myth that you can grow yourself a partner, especially after teenage phase, so you either hit or not into someone compatible making it a luck game, requiring lot of volume to get some points. You can start with passionate sex and just score the best partner in the world or you can start with friendship and never make it till some phase.",
">\n\nIs their proof because my evidence says every time u do that she cheats and you lose a good friend",
">\n\nI actually don't think this is as unpopular as you might think. I think at least some people looking for a steamy romance are not necessarily thinking about a life partner, which is totally ok. In the context of looking for a life partner, this seems pretty common.\nThat said, there are some cases where I'd strongly disagree. Dating allows you to filter people out who have definite life incompatibilities with you. Falling for your friends is great if your friend is compatible with you, but sometimes they're not. I've fallen in love with two close friends, neither who I ever would have gone on a date with (both of them fell for me back). In the end, the friendships turned toxic and fell apart because we wanted things from each other that we actually weren't willing to give, given what we wanted from life. I've honestly had much better luck falling in lust with someone, hanging out with them to see if we're baseline compatible, if not long term, and going from there. This isn't like a one-size-fits-all, but there are definite reasons to date strangers.",
">\n\nI’m in a 5 year relationship with someone who I was friends with. I knew him for like ten years now. I do disagree tho, we definitely had a honeymoon phase",
">\n\nNo. This type of shit is what leads mfs that you just want to be friends with to have some false ass hope for the future. I hate this and if someone just wants to be friends they just want to be friends. I'm not saying it never happens but 9/10 if you don't see them that way..... you never will",
">\n\nI started dating my now wife after we were friends for four years. Sparks are overrated.",
">\n\nI wasn't looking for a relationship. Eventually it just happened.",
">\n\nI fell for my husband after being friends for seven months. I had no initial attraction to him, we were just in the same field in doctoral school and interacted a lot. I was actually in another relationship when I first met him. It wasn’t until we worked closely together and got to know each other on a deeper level months later that a spark started to form. After all those months, I suddenly felt such a deep attraction to him I couldn’t ignore it. \nAll of my previous relationships were like that too. I have never felt instant attraction to any person. It always had to grow with time.",
">\n\nThat's how it worked out for me.",
">\n\nI already knew all of those things about my wife because I was working a crap job for low pay when we met. The entire reason I went back to school was for her. It still took four more years to finish my degree and I didn’t have very much money or time between work and school. She stuck with me through those hard times. I didn’t have to just be her friend but she definitely let it be known that she wouldn’t marry me until I finished college. :)",
">\n\nVery true in my case. I didn’t notice him for years. Then we were just friends. Then best friends. Then best friends that say “I love you” to each-other. But finally i resized my true feelings. Ive been with him 2 long years. I wish I loved him sooner because he’s amazing.",
">\n\nThey make for the most difficult breakups, too.",
">\n\nMaybe, but I dont ruin friendships cuz they are valuable so no.",
">\n\nThis is so true. Friends first! I met my fiance on Facebook through our college class group. I dm'd her first and we spoke for three months as really good friends before meeting in person in the fall. That first week we clicked and knew our intentions. We never expected to date. Fast forward 10 years later ( including 3 years of long distance), we have been living together for two years and get married in Oct. Til this day we love each other very much, and is because we see each other as best friends before partners.",
">\n\nBurying the lede, it’s just better than apps, which are fake as fuck and inflate your self worth.",
">\n\nTrue imo the best relationships are the ones where both partners fully trust and know each other's",
">\n\nI agree, but also because I cannot develop feelings or a spark for someone without knowing them for a long time first. I have never just met a person and instantly had feelings for them.",
">\n\nCompletely the opposite in my opinion. Getting to know someone and having instant sparks and slowly falling in love as you get to know more about them is the best feeling in the world. Often times friends first also break up its just a lot more traumatic and you run a lot more risks about breaking up your friend group and stuff like that.",
">\n\nI disagree. The worst relationship i had was with my best friend. She and i were so fucking toxic to each other, that when we broke up and still had to see each other (Same group of friends), we had to wait 5 years until we were ready to be friends again. \nTo all my fellow guys, don't date your female best friend, you'll end up losing a good friend",
">\n\nI think for some people it’s hard to break out of the mindset once you become friends that this person is meant for friendship. After categorizing some people as friends and others as potential love interests, it’s hard to break that boundary in your head.",
">\n\nIf the relationship ended as not platonic then it was never platonic",
">\n\nThe two best relationships I had were with people who we lived together first, became friends, and then lovers, and then partners. They were really sweet relationships and I hold them close to my heart. \nBecause of this, my rule of thumb is friends first, lovers second and it’s never failed me.",
">\n\nMy rule of thumb is the same, too. All for reasons outlined in this post.",
">\n\nYou are in the friend zone aren't you",
">\n\nStrong disagree. Platonic friendships lead to chemistry-less marriages. Was definitely not friends with my husband before we got married, fancied him too much and still do",
">\n\nThat big crazy love feeling is what attaches us to a person. It’s like a drug and our brain will remember what gave us that feeling while our hearts will tell the brain to keep pursing that person who gave us that good feeling, logical or not. When bad things keep happening in a relationship that good feeling gets over weighed by the bad and that this person is now seen as someone who causes bad feelings instead.. or danger in our brain. Some relationships work out some don’t, you have to remember we hear more about those that don’t then do.\nPeople who are strongly attracted to each other can’t be just friends, nature won’t allow it. They either stop being friends, set boundaries, or give in. I feel like those who started platonic friends means one usually likes the other more then the other does and is looking for security and safety more then chemistry and happiness.",
">\n\nNah, for some of us to get that “in love” feeling we have to know someone for a long time. I never just meet someone and feel anything for them. It took me seven months of friendship to fall for my now husband, but when I finally did, it was every bit as powerful and very much that “drug addicted spark” feeling that you are describing. So I think we are all just different with this.",
">\n\nTook y’all 7 months to give in is all I’m hearing. You felt connection towards each other."
] |
>
That’s still the same thing to me. you got to know him even as friends you developed feelings for him. | [
"I was good friends with my husband for about 8 years before we started dating. I think we both just needed to grow up a bit. But when we told our friend group we started dating the general reactions was \"about time!\" So I guess it was obvious to everyone but us lol.",
">\n\nMe and my first wife were like rhat",
">\n\nThen what happened?",
">\n\nThen you get told \"I wish I met someone like you.\"",
">\n\nThey make for the most difficult breakups,",
">\n\nSometimes. A better phrase would be that the strongest romantic relationships are also the strongest friendships.\nAlso The honeymoon phase is all relationships. Friendships and lovers. It tends to stop in all relationship when kids get involved 😬",
">\n\nEh, I agree with OP and think it's unpopular because the number of people who meet this way is plummeting, so the acknowledgement makes those people feel insecure.\nOf course you can start a relationship romantically and have it remain successful indefinitely as long as you also build friendship along the way. But there are two key areas this method can never truly replicate:\n\n\nHaving your respect for someone develop 100% independently of your attraction to them. I know a fair number of couples that can't seem to untangle respect and attraction. So when their partner falls in attractiveness it also lowers their overall respect for them. Sometimes that tracks... But sometimes it doesn't (for example, after kids when both people are too tired muster much attraction). Eventually, it leads to problems.\n\n\nAccountability. When you meet through and share a community, there are repercussions for acting a fool. When your only connection to each other is your relationship, there is less incentive to remain civil because you won't be judged/punished by 3rd parties if you don't.\n\n\nIf you look at the complaints that GenZ and younger Millennials have about dating, a lot them can be summed up as \"I'm being treated like a commodity, not like a person.\" Having mutual social ties prevents a lot of that.\nI 100% agree with you about the Honeymoon phase though. After 3 years of being close friends, I started dating my now fiance. Strongest Honeymoon phase I've ever experienced, and also the longest - it's yet to end two years in (and we won't be having kids, so maybe it never will).",
">\n\nIf you meet somebody you’re attracted to, there is no reason you can’t build your romantic relationship along with your friendship. This is typically what i did in all of my relationships. If we couldn’t connect on a more in depth way than attraction, the relationship didn’t last long enough to even call it a relationship. \nA romantic relationship isn’t different than any other except romantic ones tend to involve people feeling more intimate with each other. But it’s the same as if you meet somebody you could never be attracted to. You get to know them. It’s all just regular relationship stuff. If you get into a relationship and don’t bond with that person, friendship or romantic or even family, it doesn’t matter. It’s going to be a fail",
">\n\nI met my wife in a bar. I was drunk as shit and my pickup line was \"You're cute, wanna make out?\"\nShe said \"hell no\", but I talked to her again the next day when I was sober and we hit it off instantly. \nI think the best relationships just don't involve the games, or one person chasing until the other finally settles and gives in.",
">\n\nThis is at least plausible. I agree that the strongest romantic relationships contain an element of robust friendship, but I'm not sure that you need to START like this first. It's possible to develop romance and friendship concurrently.",
">\n\n\nIt's possible to develop romance and friendship concurrently.\n\nI really think this is what happened between my wife and I. We met online gaming in 2000. That doesn't sound revolutinary by today's standards but then it was. We talked more and more and it just kind of developed that we were friends, then it moved to RL and not just games. We became best friends and lovers all at the same time. Been together ever since.",
">\n\n\nWe met online gaming in 2000. Been together ever since.\n\nDon't give redditors too much hope..\njk congrats!",
">\n\nLOL. It was a text based online trivia game. No photos no voice. Just text. You really get to know someone that way. No distractions.",
">\n\nAgreeable. I wouldnt say \"The strongest romantic relationships\" HAVE to start that way, but the ones that do tend to be strong romantic relationships.",
">\n\nI think you’re projecting. My 25 years-and-counting relationship with my wife started out on a foundation of raw, animalistic lust.",
">\n\nBut on the other hand there are plenty of people that are best friends, try to date and realize they have no romantic thing, and afterwards it's getting weird etc. \nYou need a romantic and friendship-base, if you want to stay happy togehter. But what comes first is basically irrelevant.",
">\n\nThat’s great since every time I’ve caught feelings for a friend I also lost them as a friend",
">\n\nThe trick is to not stare at them intently for too long at a time",
">\n\nPeople struggle with dating because of these types of opinions. There is no one way to develop a good relationship, there are many. And one way that works for some people can be the exact reason it fails for others. It depends on everyone involved.",
">\n\nTotally agree, I was friends with my wife for 2 years before we began dating. We will be having our 15th wedding anniversary in a couple weeks.",
">\n\nCongratulations! Yay for best friends!!",
">\n\nI sorta disagree, from personal experience.\nWhen I dated someone who I'd been friends with for years, it didn't turn out well. Yeah sure, I knew the bad and good things about them. But that's a double edged sword, because they figured that I would 'be okay with' the same things now that we were in a relationship. There was nothing new for me to learn about him and no bonding experiences that could help us know each other deeper/better, because we already knew each other incredibly well. He wouldn't shut up about his ex before or during our relationship. I gave him an ultimatum and he only continued. I broke up with him and then became an ex he won't shut up about. \nHowever, when I met my current long distance partner, we only knew each other a month before getting together, as there was relatively quick mutual attraction. Our relationship is now 5 years strong and learning new things about them is/has been a bonding experience that I didn't have with the aforementioned ex of mine.\nSo, I think this isn't true in all cases.",
">\n\nI think you don't mean the strongest but safest. All of the things you mentioned are found in long term partners of dating apps and such as well, but of course they also might not be.\nWhat you're describing is every long term relationship. The trust building, the friendship. And yes you don't always find that on dating apps vs being friends first. But dating apps offer you a large pool to chose from which is generally much larger than your friend group.\nBut you also have to remember the downsides of dating a friend too. If it doesn't work out what happens to your friendship or friend group? Were you just friends to get close enough to date because that's kinda shitty. Not to mention it's hard to know if they're actually like you or don't want to lose a friend so go along with it.",
">\n\nNot for me, I've been with A LOT of people, I've dated a few as well. My current gf and future wife met when she came into my shop to get piercings done with her friends, she called the shop afterwards and we had sex the next day. We have been dating ever since ( 3 years ) and she Is the first woman I trust completely and feel comfortable and know I want to spend my entire life with her, my last relationship was 9 years, we were friends before that, the one before that was 6 years, also friends before. So, no, there really is no rules for making the \"perfect relationship\". My \"one night stand\" turned into the woman im going to spend my life with. Seems others have pointed this out as well. This is projection",
">\n\nMy friend found his first girlfriend on Tindr and she was an abusive narcassist (he left her thank god)\nI was a platonic friend with my bf for 3 years before dating him, and we love each other so fucking much",
">\n\nGood for you!\nNonetheless, all scenarios exist around the same percentage:\n- starting as friends becoming good romantic\n- starting as friends and not being good romantic partners\n- starting as a date/lust and becoming good romantically\n- starting as a date/lust and it does not work out",
">\n\nNot the same percentage, OP is right that you'll find a fulfilling relationship more often in person and starting off as friends.",
">\n\nNot that I don’t believe you, but do you have a source?\nThe best relationships I know are from people in the middle: dating, never knew (or interacted with) each other but taking it slow. People who jump too quickly end up fighting, and the people who were friends for so long do manage, but at the end it seems they do divorce because the spark is gone\nAgain, got no proof for that. Just what it seems",
">\n\nYou're asking me for sauce and yet you have failed to provide sauce yourself for your claim that all relationship types are equally occuring. You can only make a subjetive opinion on the matter and our views will be completely different because experiences are uniaue to the individual.\nPeople who enter marriages quickly end up leaving soon because they failed to know each other better. But instead of dating, they could've literally been friends for a long time and that qualifies for 'getting to know each other' and so jumping into marriage might end up being long term. I guess its dofferent for everyone, but I always wanted to meet my partner in real life either at study or work because I know we would be similar on those grounds. I did and I'm happy, and I'm happy because I got to know him more in the safe friendzone. It was a slow process but it was worth it.",
">\n\nI somewhat agree, but not everyone is lucky enough to have or can stay in social circles where you find your s/o.",
">\n\nI think it kinda boils down to the question, what was first, egg or chicken. You won't have full romantic relationship without sex and the same goes for lust based ones only.\nThis is bit of a myth that you can grow yourself a partner, especially after teenage phase, so you either hit or not into someone compatible making it a luck game, requiring lot of volume to get some points. You can start with passionate sex and just score the best partner in the world or you can start with friendship and never make it till some phase.",
">\n\nIs their proof because my evidence says every time u do that she cheats and you lose a good friend",
">\n\nI actually don't think this is as unpopular as you might think. I think at least some people looking for a steamy romance are not necessarily thinking about a life partner, which is totally ok. In the context of looking for a life partner, this seems pretty common.\nThat said, there are some cases where I'd strongly disagree. Dating allows you to filter people out who have definite life incompatibilities with you. Falling for your friends is great if your friend is compatible with you, but sometimes they're not. I've fallen in love with two close friends, neither who I ever would have gone on a date with (both of them fell for me back). In the end, the friendships turned toxic and fell apart because we wanted things from each other that we actually weren't willing to give, given what we wanted from life. I've honestly had much better luck falling in lust with someone, hanging out with them to see if we're baseline compatible, if not long term, and going from there. This isn't like a one-size-fits-all, but there are definite reasons to date strangers.",
">\n\nI’m in a 5 year relationship with someone who I was friends with. I knew him for like ten years now. I do disagree tho, we definitely had a honeymoon phase",
">\n\nNo. This type of shit is what leads mfs that you just want to be friends with to have some false ass hope for the future. I hate this and if someone just wants to be friends they just want to be friends. I'm not saying it never happens but 9/10 if you don't see them that way..... you never will",
">\n\nI started dating my now wife after we were friends for four years. Sparks are overrated.",
">\n\nI wasn't looking for a relationship. Eventually it just happened.",
">\n\nI fell for my husband after being friends for seven months. I had no initial attraction to him, we were just in the same field in doctoral school and interacted a lot. I was actually in another relationship when I first met him. It wasn’t until we worked closely together and got to know each other on a deeper level months later that a spark started to form. After all those months, I suddenly felt such a deep attraction to him I couldn’t ignore it. \nAll of my previous relationships were like that too. I have never felt instant attraction to any person. It always had to grow with time.",
">\n\nThat's how it worked out for me.",
">\n\nI already knew all of those things about my wife because I was working a crap job for low pay when we met. The entire reason I went back to school was for her. It still took four more years to finish my degree and I didn’t have very much money or time between work and school. She stuck with me through those hard times. I didn’t have to just be her friend but she definitely let it be known that she wouldn’t marry me until I finished college. :)",
">\n\nVery true in my case. I didn’t notice him for years. Then we were just friends. Then best friends. Then best friends that say “I love you” to each-other. But finally i resized my true feelings. Ive been with him 2 long years. I wish I loved him sooner because he’s amazing.",
">\n\nThey make for the most difficult breakups, too.",
">\n\nMaybe, but I dont ruin friendships cuz they are valuable so no.",
">\n\nThis is so true. Friends first! I met my fiance on Facebook through our college class group. I dm'd her first and we spoke for three months as really good friends before meeting in person in the fall. That first week we clicked and knew our intentions. We never expected to date. Fast forward 10 years later ( including 3 years of long distance), we have been living together for two years and get married in Oct. Til this day we love each other very much, and is because we see each other as best friends before partners.",
">\n\nBurying the lede, it’s just better than apps, which are fake as fuck and inflate your self worth.",
">\n\nTrue imo the best relationships are the ones where both partners fully trust and know each other's",
">\n\nI agree, but also because I cannot develop feelings or a spark for someone without knowing them for a long time first. I have never just met a person and instantly had feelings for them.",
">\n\nCompletely the opposite in my opinion. Getting to know someone and having instant sparks and slowly falling in love as you get to know more about them is the best feeling in the world. Often times friends first also break up its just a lot more traumatic and you run a lot more risks about breaking up your friend group and stuff like that.",
">\n\nI disagree. The worst relationship i had was with my best friend. She and i were so fucking toxic to each other, that when we broke up and still had to see each other (Same group of friends), we had to wait 5 years until we were ready to be friends again. \nTo all my fellow guys, don't date your female best friend, you'll end up losing a good friend",
">\n\nI think for some people it’s hard to break out of the mindset once you become friends that this person is meant for friendship. After categorizing some people as friends and others as potential love interests, it’s hard to break that boundary in your head.",
">\n\nIf the relationship ended as not platonic then it was never platonic",
">\n\nThe two best relationships I had were with people who we lived together first, became friends, and then lovers, and then partners. They were really sweet relationships and I hold them close to my heart. \nBecause of this, my rule of thumb is friends first, lovers second and it’s never failed me.",
">\n\nMy rule of thumb is the same, too. All for reasons outlined in this post.",
">\n\nYou are in the friend zone aren't you",
">\n\nStrong disagree. Platonic friendships lead to chemistry-less marriages. Was definitely not friends with my husband before we got married, fancied him too much and still do",
">\n\nThat big crazy love feeling is what attaches us to a person. It’s like a drug and our brain will remember what gave us that feeling while our hearts will tell the brain to keep pursing that person who gave us that good feeling, logical or not. When bad things keep happening in a relationship that good feeling gets over weighed by the bad and that this person is now seen as someone who causes bad feelings instead.. or danger in our brain. Some relationships work out some don’t, you have to remember we hear more about those that don’t then do.\nPeople who are strongly attracted to each other can’t be just friends, nature won’t allow it. They either stop being friends, set boundaries, or give in. I feel like those who started platonic friends means one usually likes the other more then the other does and is looking for security and safety more then chemistry and happiness.",
">\n\nNah, for some of us to get that “in love” feeling we have to know someone for a long time. I never just meet someone and feel anything for them. It took me seven months of friendship to fall for my now husband, but when I finally did, it was every bit as powerful and very much that “drug addicted spark” feeling that you are describing. So I think we are all just different with this.",
">\n\nTook y’all 7 months to give in is all I’m hearing. You felt connection towards each other.",
">\n\nNope, I legitimately was not interested in him in the beginning. I didn’t even find him physically appealing at first. Something changed once I started to interact more with him and got to know his mind over months.\nAnd every other relationship I’ve had has been the same. I have never once felt instant connection to a person. It always takes a long time for it to set in. I need that mental connection and build up."
] |
>
Yes, but the point is that it happened after months of friendship first, not at the forefront. Which is why many people prefer to start platonically and let things develop. | [
"I was good friends with my husband for about 8 years before we started dating. I think we both just needed to grow up a bit. But when we told our friend group we started dating the general reactions was \"about time!\" So I guess it was obvious to everyone but us lol.",
">\n\nMe and my first wife were like rhat",
">\n\nThen what happened?",
">\n\nThen you get told \"I wish I met someone like you.\"",
">\n\nThey make for the most difficult breakups,",
">\n\nSometimes. A better phrase would be that the strongest romantic relationships are also the strongest friendships.\nAlso The honeymoon phase is all relationships. Friendships and lovers. It tends to stop in all relationship when kids get involved 😬",
">\n\nEh, I agree with OP and think it's unpopular because the number of people who meet this way is plummeting, so the acknowledgement makes those people feel insecure.\nOf course you can start a relationship romantically and have it remain successful indefinitely as long as you also build friendship along the way. But there are two key areas this method can never truly replicate:\n\n\nHaving your respect for someone develop 100% independently of your attraction to them. I know a fair number of couples that can't seem to untangle respect and attraction. So when their partner falls in attractiveness it also lowers their overall respect for them. Sometimes that tracks... But sometimes it doesn't (for example, after kids when both people are too tired muster much attraction). Eventually, it leads to problems.\n\n\nAccountability. When you meet through and share a community, there are repercussions for acting a fool. When your only connection to each other is your relationship, there is less incentive to remain civil because you won't be judged/punished by 3rd parties if you don't.\n\n\nIf you look at the complaints that GenZ and younger Millennials have about dating, a lot them can be summed up as \"I'm being treated like a commodity, not like a person.\" Having mutual social ties prevents a lot of that.\nI 100% agree with you about the Honeymoon phase though. After 3 years of being close friends, I started dating my now fiance. Strongest Honeymoon phase I've ever experienced, and also the longest - it's yet to end two years in (and we won't be having kids, so maybe it never will).",
">\n\nIf you meet somebody you’re attracted to, there is no reason you can’t build your romantic relationship along with your friendship. This is typically what i did in all of my relationships. If we couldn’t connect on a more in depth way than attraction, the relationship didn’t last long enough to even call it a relationship. \nA romantic relationship isn’t different than any other except romantic ones tend to involve people feeling more intimate with each other. But it’s the same as if you meet somebody you could never be attracted to. You get to know them. It’s all just regular relationship stuff. If you get into a relationship and don’t bond with that person, friendship or romantic or even family, it doesn’t matter. It’s going to be a fail",
">\n\nI met my wife in a bar. I was drunk as shit and my pickup line was \"You're cute, wanna make out?\"\nShe said \"hell no\", but I talked to her again the next day when I was sober and we hit it off instantly. \nI think the best relationships just don't involve the games, or one person chasing until the other finally settles and gives in.",
">\n\nThis is at least plausible. I agree that the strongest romantic relationships contain an element of robust friendship, but I'm not sure that you need to START like this first. It's possible to develop romance and friendship concurrently.",
">\n\n\nIt's possible to develop romance and friendship concurrently.\n\nI really think this is what happened between my wife and I. We met online gaming in 2000. That doesn't sound revolutinary by today's standards but then it was. We talked more and more and it just kind of developed that we were friends, then it moved to RL and not just games. We became best friends and lovers all at the same time. Been together ever since.",
">\n\n\nWe met online gaming in 2000. Been together ever since.\n\nDon't give redditors too much hope..\njk congrats!",
">\n\nLOL. It was a text based online trivia game. No photos no voice. Just text. You really get to know someone that way. No distractions.",
">\n\nAgreeable. I wouldnt say \"The strongest romantic relationships\" HAVE to start that way, but the ones that do tend to be strong romantic relationships.",
">\n\nI think you’re projecting. My 25 years-and-counting relationship with my wife started out on a foundation of raw, animalistic lust.",
">\n\nBut on the other hand there are plenty of people that are best friends, try to date and realize they have no romantic thing, and afterwards it's getting weird etc. \nYou need a romantic and friendship-base, if you want to stay happy togehter. But what comes first is basically irrelevant.",
">\n\nThat’s great since every time I’ve caught feelings for a friend I also lost them as a friend",
">\n\nThe trick is to not stare at them intently for too long at a time",
">\n\nPeople struggle with dating because of these types of opinions. There is no one way to develop a good relationship, there are many. And one way that works for some people can be the exact reason it fails for others. It depends on everyone involved.",
">\n\nTotally agree, I was friends with my wife for 2 years before we began dating. We will be having our 15th wedding anniversary in a couple weeks.",
">\n\nCongratulations! Yay for best friends!!",
">\n\nI sorta disagree, from personal experience.\nWhen I dated someone who I'd been friends with for years, it didn't turn out well. Yeah sure, I knew the bad and good things about them. But that's a double edged sword, because they figured that I would 'be okay with' the same things now that we were in a relationship. There was nothing new for me to learn about him and no bonding experiences that could help us know each other deeper/better, because we already knew each other incredibly well. He wouldn't shut up about his ex before or during our relationship. I gave him an ultimatum and he only continued. I broke up with him and then became an ex he won't shut up about. \nHowever, when I met my current long distance partner, we only knew each other a month before getting together, as there was relatively quick mutual attraction. Our relationship is now 5 years strong and learning new things about them is/has been a bonding experience that I didn't have with the aforementioned ex of mine.\nSo, I think this isn't true in all cases.",
">\n\nI think you don't mean the strongest but safest. All of the things you mentioned are found in long term partners of dating apps and such as well, but of course they also might not be.\nWhat you're describing is every long term relationship. The trust building, the friendship. And yes you don't always find that on dating apps vs being friends first. But dating apps offer you a large pool to chose from which is generally much larger than your friend group.\nBut you also have to remember the downsides of dating a friend too. If it doesn't work out what happens to your friendship or friend group? Were you just friends to get close enough to date because that's kinda shitty. Not to mention it's hard to know if they're actually like you or don't want to lose a friend so go along with it.",
">\n\nNot for me, I've been with A LOT of people, I've dated a few as well. My current gf and future wife met when she came into my shop to get piercings done with her friends, she called the shop afterwards and we had sex the next day. We have been dating ever since ( 3 years ) and she Is the first woman I trust completely and feel comfortable and know I want to spend my entire life with her, my last relationship was 9 years, we were friends before that, the one before that was 6 years, also friends before. So, no, there really is no rules for making the \"perfect relationship\". My \"one night stand\" turned into the woman im going to spend my life with. Seems others have pointed this out as well. This is projection",
">\n\nMy friend found his first girlfriend on Tindr and she was an abusive narcassist (he left her thank god)\nI was a platonic friend with my bf for 3 years before dating him, and we love each other so fucking much",
">\n\nGood for you!\nNonetheless, all scenarios exist around the same percentage:\n- starting as friends becoming good romantic\n- starting as friends and not being good romantic partners\n- starting as a date/lust and becoming good romantically\n- starting as a date/lust and it does not work out",
">\n\nNot the same percentage, OP is right that you'll find a fulfilling relationship more often in person and starting off as friends.",
">\n\nNot that I don’t believe you, but do you have a source?\nThe best relationships I know are from people in the middle: dating, never knew (or interacted with) each other but taking it slow. People who jump too quickly end up fighting, and the people who were friends for so long do manage, but at the end it seems they do divorce because the spark is gone\nAgain, got no proof for that. Just what it seems",
">\n\nYou're asking me for sauce and yet you have failed to provide sauce yourself for your claim that all relationship types are equally occuring. You can only make a subjetive opinion on the matter and our views will be completely different because experiences are uniaue to the individual.\nPeople who enter marriages quickly end up leaving soon because they failed to know each other better. But instead of dating, they could've literally been friends for a long time and that qualifies for 'getting to know each other' and so jumping into marriage might end up being long term. I guess its dofferent for everyone, but I always wanted to meet my partner in real life either at study or work because I know we would be similar on those grounds. I did and I'm happy, and I'm happy because I got to know him more in the safe friendzone. It was a slow process but it was worth it.",
">\n\nI somewhat agree, but not everyone is lucky enough to have or can stay in social circles where you find your s/o.",
">\n\nI think it kinda boils down to the question, what was first, egg or chicken. You won't have full romantic relationship without sex and the same goes for lust based ones only.\nThis is bit of a myth that you can grow yourself a partner, especially after teenage phase, so you either hit or not into someone compatible making it a luck game, requiring lot of volume to get some points. You can start with passionate sex and just score the best partner in the world or you can start with friendship and never make it till some phase.",
">\n\nIs their proof because my evidence says every time u do that she cheats and you lose a good friend",
">\n\nI actually don't think this is as unpopular as you might think. I think at least some people looking for a steamy romance are not necessarily thinking about a life partner, which is totally ok. In the context of looking for a life partner, this seems pretty common.\nThat said, there are some cases where I'd strongly disagree. Dating allows you to filter people out who have definite life incompatibilities with you. Falling for your friends is great if your friend is compatible with you, but sometimes they're not. I've fallen in love with two close friends, neither who I ever would have gone on a date with (both of them fell for me back). In the end, the friendships turned toxic and fell apart because we wanted things from each other that we actually weren't willing to give, given what we wanted from life. I've honestly had much better luck falling in lust with someone, hanging out with them to see if we're baseline compatible, if not long term, and going from there. This isn't like a one-size-fits-all, but there are definite reasons to date strangers.",
">\n\nI’m in a 5 year relationship with someone who I was friends with. I knew him for like ten years now. I do disagree tho, we definitely had a honeymoon phase",
">\n\nNo. This type of shit is what leads mfs that you just want to be friends with to have some false ass hope for the future. I hate this and if someone just wants to be friends they just want to be friends. I'm not saying it never happens but 9/10 if you don't see them that way..... you never will",
">\n\nI started dating my now wife after we were friends for four years. Sparks are overrated.",
">\n\nI wasn't looking for a relationship. Eventually it just happened.",
">\n\nI fell for my husband after being friends for seven months. I had no initial attraction to him, we were just in the same field in doctoral school and interacted a lot. I was actually in another relationship when I first met him. It wasn’t until we worked closely together and got to know each other on a deeper level months later that a spark started to form. After all those months, I suddenly felt such a deep attraction to him I couldn’t ignore it. \nAll of my previous relationships were like that too. I have never felt instant attraction to any person. It always had to grow with time.",
">\n\nThat's how it worked out for me.",
">\n\nI already knew all of those things about my wife because I was working a crap job for low pay when we met. The entire reason I went back to school was for her. It still took four more years to finish my degree and I didn’t have very much money or time between work and school. She stuck with me through those hard times. I didn’t have to just be her friend but she definitely let it be known that she wouldn’t marry me until I finished college. :)",
">\n\nVery true in my case. I didn’t notice him for years. Then we were just friends. Then best friends. Then best friends that say “I love you” to each-other. But finally i resized my true feelings. Ive been with him 2 long years. I wish I loved him sooner because he’s amazing.",
">\n\nThey make for the most difficult breakups, too.",
">\n\nMaybe, but I dont ruin friendships cuz they are valuable so no.",
">\n\nThis is so true. Friends first! I met my fiance on Facebook through our college class group. I dm'd her first and we spoke for three months as really good friends before meeting in person in the fall. That first week we clicked and knew our intentions. We never expected to date. Fast forward 10 years later ( including 3 years of long distance), we have been living together for two years and get married in Oct. Til this day we love each other very much, and is because we see each other as best friends before partners.",
">\n\nBurying the lede, it’s just better than apps, which are fake as fuck and inflate your self worth.",
">\n\nTrue imo the best relationships are the ones where both partners fully trust and know each other's",
">\n\nI agree, but also because I cannot develop feelings or a spark for someone without knowing them for a long time first. I have never just met a person and instantly had feelings for them.",
">\n\nCompletely the opposite in my opinion. Getting to know someone and having instant sparks and slowly falling in love as you get to know more about them is the best feeling in the world. Often times friends first also break up its just a lot more traumatic and you run a lot more risks about breaking up your friend group and stuff like that.",
">\n\nI disagree. The worst relationship i had was with my best friend. She and i were so fucking toxic to each other, that when we broke up and still had to see each other (Same group of friends), we had to wait 5 years until we were ready to be friends again. \nTo all my fellow guys, don't date your female best friend, you'll end up losing a good friend",
">\n\nI think for some people it’s hard to break out of the mindset once you become friends that this person is meant for friendship. After categorizing some people as friends and others as potential love interests, it’s hard to break that boundary in your head.",
">\n\nIf the relationship ended as not platonic then it was never platonic",
">\n\nThe two best relationships I had were with people who we lived together first, became friends, and then lovers, and then partners. They were really sweet relationships and I hold them close to my heart. \nBecause of this, my rule of thumb is friends first, lovers second and it’s never failed me.",
">\n\nMy rule of thumb is the same, too. All for reasons outlined in this post.",
">\n\nYou are in the friend zone aren't you",
">\n\nStrong disagree. Platonic friendships lead to chemistry-less marriages. Was definitely not friends with my husband before we got married, fancied him too much and still do",
">\n\nThat big crazy love feeling is what attaches us to a person. It’s like a drug and our brain will remember what gave us that feeling while our hearts will tell the brain to keep pursing that person who gave us that good feeling, logical or not. When bad things keep happening in a relationship that good feeling gets over weighed by the bad and that this person is now seen as someone who causes bad feelings instead.. or danger in our brain. Some relationships work out some don’t, you have to remember we hear more about those that don’t then do.\nPeople who are strongly attracted to each other can’t be just friends, nature won’t allow it. They either stop being friends, set boundaries, or give in. I feel like those who started platonic friends means one usually likes the other more then the other does and is looking for security and safety more then chemistry and happiness.",
">\n\nNah, for some of us to get that “in love” feeling we have to know someone for a long time. I never just meet someone and feel anything for them. It took me seven months of friendship to fall for my now husband, but when I finally did, it was every bit as powerful and very much that “drug addicted spark” feeling that you are describing. So I think we are all just different with this.",
">\n\nTook y’all 7 months to give in is all I’m hearing. You felt connection towards each other.",
">\n\nNope, I legitimately was not interested in him in the beginning. I didn’t even find him physically appealing at first. Something changed once I started to interact more with him and got to know his mind over months.\nAnd every other relationship I’ve had has been the same. I have never once felt instant connection to a person. It always takes a long time for it to set in. I need that mental connection and build up.",
">\n\nThat’s still the same thing to me. you got to know him even as friends you developed feelings for him."
] |
>
I’m not sure this is an unpopular opinion…. | [
"I was good friends with my husband for about 8 years before we started dating. I think we both just needed to grow up a bit. But when we told our friend group we started dating the general reactions was \"about time!\" So I guess it was obvious to everyone but us lol.",
">\n\nMe and my first wife were like rhat",
">\n\nThen what happened?",
">\n\nThen you get told \"I wish I met someone like you.\"",
">\n\nThey make for the most difficult breakups,",
">\n\nSometimes. A better phrase would be that the strongest romantic relationships are also the strongest friendships.\nAlso The honeymoon phase is all relationships. Friendships and lovers. It tends to stop in all relationship when kids get involved 😬",
">\n\nEh, I agree with OP and think it's unpopular because the number of people who meet this way is plummeting, so the acknowledgement makes those people feel insecure.\nOf course you can start a relationship romantically and have it remain successful indefinitely as long as you also build friendship along the way. But there are two key areas this method can never truly replicate:\n\n\nHaving your respect for someone develop 100% independently of your attraction to them. I know a fair number of couples that can't seem to untangle respect and attraction. So when their partner falls in attractiveness it also lowers their overall respect for them. Sometimes that tracks... But sometimes it doesn't (for example, after kids when both people are too tired muster much attraction). Eventually, it leads to problems.\n\n\nAccountability. When you meet through and share a community, there are repercussions for acting a fool. When your only connection to each other is your relationship, there is less incentive to remain civil because you won't be judged/punished by 3rd parties if you don't.\n\n\nIf you look at the complaints that GenZ and younger Millennials have about dating, a lot them can be summed up as \"I'm being treated like a commodity, not like a person.\" Having mutual social ties prevents a lot of that.\nI 100% agree with you about the Honeymoon phase though. After 3 years of being close friends, I started dating my now fiance. Strongest Honeymoon phase I've ever experienced, and also the longest - it's yet to end two years in (and we won't be having kids, so maybe it never will).",
">\n\nIf you meet somebody you’re attracted to, there is no reason you can’t build your romantic relationship along with your friendship. This is typically what i did in all of my relationships. If we couldn’t connect on a more in depth way than attraction, the relationship didn’t last long enough to even call it a relationship. \nA romantic relationship isn’t different than any other except romantic ones tend to involve people feeling more intimate with each other. But it’s the same as if you meet somebody you could never be attracted to. You get to know them. It’s all just regular relationship stuff. If you get into a relationship and don’t bond with that person, friendship or romantic or even family, it doesn’t matter. It’s going to be a fail",
">\n\nI met my wife in a bar. I was drunk as shit and my pickup line was \"You're cute, wanna make out?\"\nShe said \"hell no\", but I talked to her again the next day when I was sober and we hit it off instantly. \nI think the best relationships just don't involve the games, or one person chasing until the other finally settles and gives in.",
">\n\nThis is at least plausible. I agree that the strongest romantic relationships contain an element of robust friendship, but I'm not sure that you need to START like this first. It's possible to develop romance and friendship concurrently.",
">\n\n\nIt's possible to develop romance and friendship concurrently.\n\nI really think this is what happened between my wife and I. We met online gaming in 2000. That doesn't sound revolutinary by today's standards but then it was. We talked more and more and it just kind of developed that we were friends, then it moved to RL and not just games. We became best friends and lovers all at the same time. Been together ever since.",
">\n\n\nWe met online gaming in 2000. Been together ever since.\n\nDon't give redditors too much hope..\njk congrats!",
">\n\nLOL. It was a text based online trivia game. No photos no voice. Just text. You really get to know someone that way. No distractions.",
">\n\nAgreeable. I wouldnt say \"The strongest romantic relationships\" HAVE to start that way, but the ones that do tend to be strong romantic relationships.",
">\n\nI think you’re projecting. My 25 years-and-counting relationship with my wife started out on a foundation of raw, animalistic lust.",
">\n\nBut on the other hand there are plenty of people that are best friends, try to date and realize they have no romantic thing, and afterwards it's getting weird etc. \nYou need a romantic and friendship-base, if you want to stay happy togehter. But what comes first is basically irrelevant.",
">\n\nThat’s great since every time I’ve caught feelings for a friend I also lost them as a friend",
">\n\nThe trick is to not stare at them intently for too long at a time",
">\n\nPeople struggle with dating because of these types of opinions. There is no one way to develop a good relationship, there are many. And one way that works for some people can be the exact reason it fails for others. It depends on everyone involved.",
">\n\nTotally agree, I was friends with my wife for 2 years before we began dating. We will be having our 15th wedding anniversary in a couple weeks.",
">\n\nCongratulations! Yay for best friends!!",
">\n\nI sorta disagree, from personal experience.\nWhen I dated someone who I'd been friends with for years, it didn't turn out well. Yeah sure, I knew the bad and good things about them. But that's a double edged sword, because they figured that I would 'be okay with' the same things now that we were in a relationship. There was nothing new for me to learn about him and no bonding experiences that could help us know each other deeper/better, because we already knew each other incredibly well. He wouldn't shut up about his ex before or during our relationship. I gave him an ultimatum and he only continued. I broke up with him and then became an ex he won't shut up about. \nHowever, when I met my current long distance partner, we only knew each other a month before getting together, as there was relatively quick mutual attraction. Our relationship is now 5 years strong and learning new things about them is/has been a bonding experience that I didn't have with the aforementioned ex of mine.\nSo, I think this isn't true in all cases.",
">\n\nI think you don't mean the strongest but safest. All of the things you mentioned are found in long term partners of dating apps and such as well, but of course they also might not be.\nWhat you're describing is every long term relationship. The trust building, the friendship. And yes you don't always find that on dating apps vs being friends first. But dating apps offer you a large pool to chose from which is generally much larger than your friend group.\nBut you also have to remember the downsides of dating a friend too. If it doesn't work out what happens to your friendship or friend group? Were you just friends to get close enough to date because that's kinda shitty. Not to mention it's hard to know if they're actually like you or don't want to lose a friend so go along with it.",
">\n\nNot for me, I've been with A LOT of people, I've dated a few as well. My current gf and future wife met when she came into my shop to get piercings done with her friends, she called the shop afterwards and we had sex the next day. We have been dating ever since ( 3 years ) and she Is the first woman I trust completely and feel comfortable and know I want to spend my entire life with her, my last relationship was 9 years, we were friends before that, the one before that was 6 years, also friends before. So, no, there really is no rules for making the \"perfect relationship\". My \"one night stand\" turned into the woman im going to spend my life with. Seems others have pointed this out as well. This is projection",
">\n\nMy friend found his first girlfriend on Tindr and she was an abusive narcassist (he left her thank god)\nI was a platonic friend with my bf for 3 years before dating him, and we love each other so fucking much",
">\n\nGood for you!\nNonetheless, all scenarios exist around the same percentage:\n- starting as friends becoming good romantic\n- starting as friends and not being good romantic partners\n- starting as a date/lust and becoming good romantically\n- starting as a date/lust and it does not work out",
">\n\nNot the same percentage, OP is right that you'll find a fulfilling relationship more often in person and starting off as friends.",
">\n\nNot that I don’t believe you, but do you have a source?\nThe best relationships I know are from people in the middle: dating, never knew (or interacted with) each other but taking it slow. People who jump too quickly end up fighting, and the people who were friends for so long do manage, but at the end it seems they do divorce because the spark is gone\nAgain, got no proof for that. Just what it seems",
">\n\nYou're asking me for sauce and yet you have failed to provide sauce yourself for your claim that all relationship types are equally occuring. You can only make a subjetive opinion on the matter and our views will be completely different because experiences are uniaue to the individual.\nPeople who enter marriages quickly end up leaving soon because they failed to know each other better. But instead of dating, they could've literally been friends for a long time and that qualifies for 'getting to know each other' and so jumping into marriage might end up being long term. I guess its dofferent for everyone, but I always wanted to meet my partner in real life either at study or work because I know we would be similar on those grounds. I did and I'm happy, and I'm happy because I got to know him more in the safe friendzone. It was a slow process but it was worth it.",
">\n\nI somewhat agree, but not everyone is lucky enough to have or can stay in social circles where you find your s/o.",
">\n\nI think it kinda boils down to the question, what was first, egg or chicken. You won't have full romantic relationship without sex and the same goes for lust based ones only.\nThis is bit of a myth that you can grow yourself a partner, especially after teenage phase, so you either hit or not into someone compatible making it a luck game, requiring lot of volume to get some points. You can start with passionate sex and just score the best partner in the world or you can start with friendship and never make it till some phase.",
">\n\nIs their proof because my evidence says every time u do that she cheats and you lose a good friend",
">\n\nI actually don't think this is as unpopular as you might think. I think at least some people looking for a steamy romance are not necessarily thinking about a life partner, which is totally ok. In the context of looking for a life partner, this seems pretty common.\nThat said, there are some cases where I'd strongly disagree. Dating allows you to filter people out who have definite life incompatibilities with you. Falling for your friends is great if your friend is compatible with you, but sometimes they're not. I've fallen in love with two close friends, neither who I ever would have gone on a date with (both of them fell for me back). In the end, the friendships turned toxic and fell apart because we wanted things from each other that we actually weren't willing to give, given what we wanted from life. I've honestly had much better luck falling in lust with someone, hanging out with them to see if we're baseline compatible, if not long term, and going from there. This isn't like a one-size-fits-all, but there are definite reasons to date strangers.",
">\n\nI’m in a 5 year relationship with someone who I was friends with. I knew him for like ten years now. I do disagree tho, we definitely had a honeymoon phase",
">\n\nNo. This type of shit is what leads mfs that you just want to be friends with to have some false ass hope for the future. I hate this and if someone just wants to be friends they just want to be friends. I'm not saying it never happens but 9/10 if you don't see them that way..... you never will",
">\n\nI started dating my now wife after we were friends for four years. Sparks are overrated.",
">\n\nI wasn't looking for a relationship. Eventually it just happened.",
">\n\nI fell for my husband after being friends for seven months. I had no initial attraction to him, we were just in the same field in doctoral school and interacted a lot. I was actually in another relationship when I first met him. It wasn’t until we worked closely together and got to know each other on a deeper level months later that a spark started to form. After all those months, I suddenly felt such a deep attraction to him I couldn’t ignore it. \nAll of my previous relationships were like that too. I have never felt instant attraction to any person. It always had to grow with time.",
">\n\nThat's how it worked out for me.",
">\n\nI already knew all of those things about my wife because I was working a crap job for low pay when we met. The entire reason I went back to school was for her. It still took four more years to finish my degree and I didn’t have very much money or time between work and school. She stuck with me through those hard times. I didn’t have to just be her friend but she definitely let it be known that she wouldn’t marry me until I finished college. :)",
">\n\nVery true in my case. I didn’t notice him for years. Then we were just friends. Then best friends. Then best friends that say “I love you” to each-other. But finally i resized my true feelings. Ive been with him 2 long years. I wish I loved him sooner because he’s amazing.",
">\n\nThey make for the most difficult breakups, too.",
">\n\nMaybe, but I dont ruin friendships cuz they are valuable so no.",
">\n\nThis is so true. Friends first! I met my fiance on Facebook through our college class group. I dm'd her first and we spoke for three months as really good friends before meeting in person in the fall. That first week we clicked and knew our intentions. We never expected to date. Fast forward 10 years later ( including 3 years of long distance), we have been living together for two years and get married in Oct. Til this day we love each other very much, and is because we see each other as best friends before partners.",
">\n\nBurying the lede, it’s just better than apps, which are fake as fuck and inflate your self worth.",
">\n\nTrue imo the best relationships are the ones where both partners fully trust and know each other's",
">\n\nI agree, but also because I cannot develop feelings or a spark for someone without knowing them for a long time first. I have never just met a person and instantly had feelings for them.",
">\n\nCompletely the opposite in my opinion. Getting to know someone and having instant sparks and slowly falling in love as you get to know more about them is the best feeling in the world. Often times friends first also break up its just a lot more traumatic and you run a lot more risks about breaking up your friend group and stuff like that.",
">\n\nI disagree. The worst relationship i had was with my best friend. She and i were so fucking toxic to each other, that when we broke up and still had to see each other (Same group of friends), we had to wait 5 years until we were ready to be friends again. \nTo all my fellow guys, don't date your female best friend, you'll end up losing a good friend",
">\n\nI think for some people it’s hard to break out of the mindset once you become friends that this person is meant for friendship. After categorizing some people as friends and others as potential love interests, it’s hard to break that boundary in your head.",
">\n\nIf the relationship ended as not platonic then it was never platonic",
">\n\nThe two best relationships I had were with people who we lived together first, became friends, and then lovers, and then partners. They were really sweet relationships and I hold them close to my heart. \nBecause of this, my rule of thumb is friends first, lovers second and it’s never failed me.",
">\n\nMy rule of thumb is the same, too. All for reasons outlined in this post.",
">\n\nYou are in the friend zone aren't you",
">\n\nStrong disagree. Platonic friendships lead to chemistry-less marriages. Was definitely not friends with my husband before we got married, fancied him too much and still do",
">\n\nThat big crazy love feeling is what attaches us to a person. It’s like a drug and our brain will remember what gave us that feeling while our hearts will tell the brain to keep pursing that person who gave us that good feeling, logical or not. When bad things keep happening in a relationship that good feeling gets over weighed by the bad and that this person is now seen as someone who causes bad feelings instead.. or danger in our brain. Some relationships work out some don’t, you have to remember we hear more about those that don’t then do.\nPeople who are strongly attracted to each other can’t be just friends, nature won’t allow it. They either stop being friends, set boundaries, or give in. I feel like those who started platonic friends means one usually likes the other more then the other does and is looking for security and safety more then chemistry and happiness.",
">\n\nNah, for some of us to get that “in love” feeling we have to know someone for a long time. I never just meet someone and feel anything for them. It took me seven months of friendship to fall for my now husband, but when I finally did, it was every bit as powerful and very much that “drug addicted spark” feeling that you are describing. So I think we are all just different with this.",
">\n\nTook y’all 7 months to give in is all I’m hearing. You felt connection towards each other.",
">\n\nNope, I legitimately was not interested in him in the beginning. I didn’t even find him physically appealing at first. Something changed once I started to interact more with him and got to know his mind over months.\nAnd every other relationship I’ve had has been the same. I have never once felt instant connection to a person. It always takes a long time for it to set in. I need that mental connection and build up.",
">\n\nThat’s still the same thing to me. you got to know him even as friends you developed feelings for him.",
">\n\nYes, but the point is that it happened after months of friendship first, not at the forefront. Which is why many people prefer to start platonically and let things develop."
] |
>
It neither popular nor unpopular. Some friendships work out romantically. Other people meet and they have been married 20+ years. No one is better | [
"I was good friends with my husband for about 8 years before we started dating. I think we both just needed to grow up a bit. But when we told our friend group we started dating the general reactions was \"about time!\" So I guess it was obvious to everyone but us lol.",
">\n\nMe and my first wife were like rhat",
">\n\nThen what happened?",
">\n\nThen you get told \"I wish I met someone like you.\"",
">\n\nThey make for the most difficult breakups,",
">\n\nSometimes. A better phrase would be that the strongest romantic relationships are also the strongest friendships.\nAlso The honeymoon phase is all relationships. Friendships and lovers. It tends to stop in all relationship when kids get involved 😬",
">\n\nEh, I agree with OP and think it's unpopular because the number of people who meet this way is plummeting, so the acknowledgement makes those people feel insecure.\nOf course you can start a relationship romantically and have it remain successful indefinitely as long as you also build friendship along the way. But there are two key areas this method can never truly replicate:\n\n\nHaving your respect for someone develop 100% independently of your attraction to them. I know a fair number of couples that can't seem to untangle respect and attraction. So when their partner falls in attractiveness it also lowers their overall respect for them. Sometimes that tracks... But sometimes it doesn't (for example, after kids when both people are too tired muster much attraction). Eventually, it leads to problems.\n\n\nAccountability. When you meet through and share a community, there are repercussions for acting a fool. When your only connection to each other is your relationship, there is less incentive to remain civil because you won't be judged/punished by 3rd parties if you don't.\n\n\nIf you look at the complaints that GenZ and younger Millennials have about dating, a lot them can be summed up as \"I'm being treated like a commodity, not like a person.\" Having mutual social ties prevents a lot of that.\nI 100% agree with you about the Honeymoon phase though. After 3 years of being close friends, I started dating my now fiance. Strongest Honeymoon phase I've ever experienced, and also the longest - it's yet to end two years in (and we won't be having kids, so maybe it never will).",
">\n\nIf you meet somebody you’re attracted to, there is no reason you can’t build your romantic relationship along with your friendship. This is typically what i did in all of my relationships. If we couldn’t connect on a more in depth way than attraction, the relationship didn’t last long enough to even call it a relationship. \nA romantic relationship isn’t different than any other except romantic ones tend to involve people feeling more intimate with each other. But it’s the same as if you meet somebody you could never be attracted to. You get to know them. It’s all just regular relationship stuff. If you get into a relationship and don’t bond with that person, friendship or romantic or even family, it doesn’t matter. It’s going to be a fail",
">\n\nI met my wife in a bar. I was drunk as shit and my pickup line was \"You're cute, wanna make out?\"\nShe said \"hell no\", but I talked to her again the next day when I was sober and we hit it off instantly. \nI think the best relationships just don't involve the games, or one person chasing until the other finally settles and gives in.",
">\n\nThis is at least plausible. I agree that the strongest romantic relationships contain an element of robust friendship, but I'm not sure that you need to START like this first. It's possible to develop romance and friendship concurrently.",
">\n\n\nIt's possible to develop romance and friendship concurrently.\n\nI really think this is what happened between my wife and I. We met online gaming in 2000. That doesn't sound revolutinary by today's standards but then it was. We talked more and more and it just kind of developed that we were friends, then it moved to RL and not just games. We became best friends and lovers all at the same time. Been together ever since.",
">\n\n\nWe met online gaming in 2000. Been together ever since.\n\nDon't give redditors too much hope..\njk congrats!",
">\n\nLOL. It was a text based online trivia game. No photos no voice. Just text. You really get to know someone that way. No distractions.",
">\n\nAgreeable. I wouldnt say \"The strongest romantic relationships\" HAVE to start that way, but the ones that do tend to be strong romantic relationships.",
">\n\nI think you’re projecting. My 25 years-and-counting relationship with my wife started out on a foundation of raw, animalistic lust.",
">\n\nBut on the other hand there are plenty of people that are best friends, try to date and realize they have no romantic thing, and afterwards it's getting weird etc. \nYou need a romantic and friendship-base, if you want to stay happy togehter. But what comes first is basically irrelevant.",
">\n\nThat’s great since every time I’ve caught feelings for a friend I also lost them as a friend",
">\n\nThe trick is to not stare at them intently for too long at a time",
">\n\nPeople struggle with dating because of these types of opinions. There is no one way to develop a good relationship, there are many. And one way that works for some people can be the exact reason it fails for others. It depends on everyone involved.",
">\n\nTotally agree, I was friends with my wife for 2 years before we began dating. We will be having our 15th wedding anniversary in a couple weeks.",
">\n\nCongratulations! Yay for best friends!!",
">\n\nI sorta disagree, from personal experience.\nWhen I dated someone who I'd been friends with for years, it didn't turn out well. Yeah sure, I knew the bad and good things about them. But that's a double edged sword, because they figured that I would 'be okay with' the same things now that we were in a relationship. There was nothing new for me to learn about him and no bonding experiences that could help us know each other deeper/better, because we already knew each other incredibly well. He wouldn't shut up about his ex before or during our relationship. I gave him an ultimatum and he only continued. I broke up with him and then became an ex he won't shut up about. \nHowever, when I met my current long distance partner, we only knew each other a month before getting together, as there was relatively quick mutual attraction. Our relationship is now 5 years strong and learning new things about them is/has been a bonding experience that I didn't have with the aforementioned ex of mine.\nSo, I think this isn't true in all cases.",
">\n\nI think you don't mean the strongest but safest. All of the things you mentioned are found in long term partners of dating apps and such as well, but of course they also might not be.\nWhat you're describing is every long term relationship. The trust building, the friendship. And yes you don't always find that on dating apps vs being friends first. But dating apps offer you a large pool to chose from which is generally much larger than your friend group.\nBut you also have to remember the downsides of dating a friend too. If it doesn't work out what happens to your friendship or friend group? Were you just friends to get close enough to date because that's kinda shitty. Not to mention it's hard to know if they're actually like you or don't want to lose a friend so go along with it.",
">\n\nNot for me, I've been with A LOT of people, I've dated a few as well. My current gf and future wife met when she came into my shop to get piercings done with her friends, she called the shop afterwards and we had sex the next day. We have been dating ever since ( 3 years ) and she Is the first woman I trust completely and feel comfortable and know I want to spend my entire life with her, my last relationship was 9 years, we were friends before that, the one before that was 6 years, also friends before. So, no, there really is no rules for making the \"perfect relationship\". My \"one night stand\" turned into the woman im going to spend my life with. Seems others have pointed this out as well. This is projection",
">\n\nMy friend found his first girlfriend on Tindr and she was an abusive narcassist (he left her thank god)\nI was a platonic friend with my bf for 3 years before dating him, and we love each other so fucking much",
">\n\nGood for you!\nNonetheless, all scenarios exist around the same percentage:\n- starting as friends becoming good romantic\n- starting as friends and not being good romantic partners\n- starting as a date/lust and becoming good romantically\n- starting as a date/lust and it does not work out",
">\n\nNot the same percentage, OP is right that you'll find a fulfilling relationship more often in person and starting off as friends.",
">\n\nNot that I don’t believe you, but do you have a source?\nThe best relationships I know are from people in the middle: dating, never knew (or interacted with) each other but taking it slow. People who jump too quickly end up fighting, and the people who were friends for so long do manage, but at the end it seems they do divorce because the spark is gone\nAgain, got no proof for that. Just what it seems",
">\n\nYou're asking me for sauce and yet you have failed to provide sauce yourself for your claim that all relationship types are equally occuring. You can only make a subjetive opinion on the matter and our views will be completely different because experiences are uniaue to the individual.\nPeople who enter marriages quickly end up leaving soon because they failed to know each other better. But instead of dating, they could've literally been friends for a long time and that qualifies for 'getting to know each other' and so jumping into marriage might end up being long term. I guess its dofferent for everyone, but I always wanted to meet my partner in real life either at study or work because I know we would be similar on those grounds. I did and I'm happy, and I'm happy because I got to know him more in the safe friendzone. It was a slow process but it was worth it.",
">\n\nI somewhat agree, but not everyone is lucky enough to have or can stay in social circles where you find your s/o.",
">\n\nI think it kinda boils down to the question, what was first, egg or chicken. You won't have full romantic relationship without sex and the same goes for lust based ones only.\nThis is bit of a myth that you can grow yourself a partner, especially after teenage phase, so you either hit or not into someone compatible making it a luck game, requiring lot of volume to get some points. You can start with passionate sex and just score the best partner in the world or you can start with friendship and never make it till some phase.",
">\n\nIs their proof because my evidence says every time u do that she cheats and you lose a good friend",
">\n\nI actually don't think this is as unpopular as you might think. I think at least some people looking for a steamy romance are not necessarily thinking about a life partner, which is totally ok. In the context of looking for a life partner, this seems pretty common.\nThat said, there are some cases where I'd strongly disagree. Dating allows you to filter people out who have definite life incompatibilities with you. Falling for your friends is great if your friend is compatible with you, but sometimes they're not. I've fallen in love with two close friends, neither who I ever would have gone on a date with (both of them fell for me back). In the end, the friendships turned toxic and fell apart because we wanted things from each other that we actually weren't willing to give, given what we wanted from life. I've honestly had much better luck falling in lust with someone, hanging out with them to see if we're baseline compatible, if not long term, and going from there. This isn't like a one-size-fits-all, but there are definite reasons to date strangers.",
">\n\nI’m in a 5 year relationship with someone who I was friends with. I knew him for like ten years now. I do disagree tho, we definitely had a honeymoon phase",
">\n\nNo. This type of shit is what leads mfs that you just want to be friends with to have some false ass hope for the future. I hate this and if someone just wants to be friends they just want to be friends. I'm not saying it never happens but 9/10 if you don't see them that way..... you never will",
">\n\nI started dating my now wife after we were friends for four years. Sparks are overrated.",
">\n\nI wasn't looking for a relationship. Eventually it just happened.",
">\n\nI fell for my husband after being friends for seven months. I had no initial attraction to him, we were just in the same field in doctoral school and interacted a lot. I was actually in another relationship when I first met him. It wasn’t until we worked closely together and got to know each other on a deeper level months later that a spark started to form. After all those months, I suddenly felt such a deep attraction to him I couldn’t ignore it. \nAll of my previous relationships were like that too. I have never felt instant attraction to any person. It always had to grow with time.",
">\n\nThat's how it worked out for me.",
">\n\nI already knew all of those things about my wife because I was working a crap job for low pay when we met. The entire reason I went back to school was for her. It still took four more years to finish my degree and I didn’t have very much money or time between work and school. She stuck with me through those hard times. I didn’t have to just be her friend but she definitely let it be known that she wouldn’t marry me until I finished college. :)",
">\n\nVery true in my case. I didn’t notice him for years. Then we were just friends. Then best friends. Then best friends that say “I love you” to each-other. But finally i resized my true feelings. Ive been with him 2 long years. I wish I loved him sooner because he’s amazing.",
">\n\nThey make for the most difficult breakups, too.",
">\n\nMaybe, but I dont ruin friendships cuz they are valuable so no.",
">\n\nThis is so true. Friends first! I met my fiance on Facebook through our college class group. I dm'd her first and we spoke for three months as really good friends before meeting in person in the fall. That first week we clicked and knew our intentions. We never expected to date. Fast forward 10 years later ( including 3 years of long distance), we have been living together for two years and get married in Oct. Til this day we love each other very much, and is because we see each other as best friends before partners.",
">\n\nBurying the lede, it’s just better than apps, which are fake as fuck and inflate your self worth.",
">\n\nTrue imo the best relationships are the ones where both partners fully trust and know each other's",
">\n\nI agree, but also because I cannot develop feelings or a spark for someone without knowing them for a long time first. I have never just met a person and instantly had feelings for them.",
">\n\nCompletely the opposite in my opinion. Getting to know someone and having instant sparks and slowly falling in love as you get to know more about them is the best feeling in the world. Often times friends first also break up its just a lot more traumatic and you run a lot more risks about breaking up your friend group and stuff like that.",
">\n\nI disagree. The worst relationship i had was with my best friend. She and i were so fucking toxic to each other, that when we broke up and still had to see each other (Same group of friends), we had to wait 5 years until we were ready to be friends again. \nTo all my fellow guys, don't date your female best friend, you'll end up losing a good friend",
">\n\nI think for some people it’s hard to break out of the mindset once you become friends that this person is meant for friendship. After categorizing some people as friends and others as potential love interests, it’s hard to break that boundary in your head.",
">\n\nIf the relationship ended as not platonic then it was never platonic",
">\n\nThe two best relationships I had were with people who we lived together first, became friends, and then lovers, and then partners. They were really sweet relationships and I hold them close to my heart. \nBecause of this, my rule of thumb is friends first, lovers second and it’s never failed me.",
">\n\nMy rule of thumb is the same, too. All for reasons outlined in this post.",
">\n\nYou are in the friend zone aren't you",
">\n\nStrong disagree. Platonic friendships lead to chemistry-less marriages. Was definitely not friends with my husband before we got married, fancied him too much and still do",
">\n\nThat big crazy love feeling is what attaches us to a person. It’s like a drug and our brain will remember what gave us that feeling while our hearts will tell the brain to keep pursing that person who gave us that good feeling, logical or not. When bad things keep happening in a relationship that good feeling gets over weighed by the bad and that this person is now seen as someone who causes bad feelings instead.. or danger in our brain. Some relationships work out some don’t, you have to remember we hear more about those that don’t then do.\nPeople who are strongly attracted to each other can’t be just friends, nature won’t allow it. They either stop being friends, set boundaries, or give in. I feel like those who started platonic friends means one usually likes the other more then the other does and is looking for security and safety more then chemistry and happiness.",
">\n\nNah, for some of us to get that “in love” feeling we have to know someone for a long time. I never just meet someone and feel anything for them. It took me seven months of friendship to fall for my now husband, but when I finally did, it was every bit as powerful and very much that “drug addicted spark” feeling that you are describing. So I think we are all just different with this.",
">\n\nTook y’all 7 months to give in is all I’m hearing. You felt connection towards each other.",
">\n\nNope, I legitimately was not interested in him in the beginning. I didn’t even find him physically appealing at first. Something changed once I started to interact more with him and got to know his mind over months.\nAnd every other relationship I’ve had has been the same. I have never once felt instant connection to a person. It always takes a long time for it to set in. I need that mental connection and build up.",
">\n\nThat’s still the same thing to me. you got to know him even as friends you developed feelings for him.",
">\n\nYes, but the point is that it happened after months of friendship first, not at the forefront. Which is why many people prefer to start platonically and let things develop.",
">\n\nI’m not sure this is an unpopular opinion…."
] |
>
Nah, all happy long-term couples I know started as a romantic relationship. I don't even know how you could have a long platonic friendship and then suddenly feel romantic love and sexual attraction if that wasn't there from the start. If there was romantic connection all along, then you were never friends, you were just taking it slow. | [
"I was good friends with my husband for about 8 years before we started dating. I think we both just needed to grow up a bit. But when we told our friend group we started dating the general reactions was \"about time!\" So I guess it was obvious to everyone but us lol.",
">\n\nMe and my first wife were like rhat",
">\n\nThen what happened?",
">\n\nThen you get told \"I wish I met someone like you.\"",
">\n\nThey make for the most difficult breakups,",
">\n\nSometimes. A better phrase would be that the strongest romantic relationships are also the strongest friendships.\nAlso The honeymoon phase is all relationships. Friendships and lovers. It tends to stop in all relationship when kids get involved 😬",
">\n\nEh, I agree with OP and think it's unpopular because the number of people who meet this way is plummeting, so the acknowledgement makes those people feel insecure.\nOf course you can start a relationship romantically and have it remain successful indefinitely as long as you also build friendship along the way. But there are two key areas this method can never truly replicate:\n\n\nHaving your respect for someone develop 100% independently of your attraction to them. I know a fair number of couples that can't seem to untangle respect and attraction. So when their partner falls in attractiveness it also lowers their overall respect for them. Sometimes that tracks... But sometimes it doesn't (for example, after kids when both people are too tired muster much attraction). Eventually, it leads to problems.\n\n\nAccountability. When you meet through and share a community, there are repercussions for acting a fool. When your only connection to each other is your relationship, there is less incentive to remain civil because you won't be judged/punished by 3rd parties if you don't.\n\n\nIf you look at the complaints that GenZ and younger Millennials have about dating, a lot them can be summed up as \"I'm being treated like a commodity, not like a person.\" Having mutual social ties prevents a lot of that.\nI 100% agree with you about the Honeymoon phase though. After 3 years of being close friends, I started dating my now fiance. Strongest Honeymoon phase I've ever experienced, and also the longest - it's yet to end two years in (and we won't be having kids, so maybe it never will).",
">\n\nIf you meet somebody you’re attracted to, there is no reason you can’t build your romantic relationship along with your friendship. This is typically what i did in all of my relationships. If we couldn’t connect on a more in depth way than attraction, the relationship didn’t last long enough to even call it a relationship. \nA romantic relationship isn’t different than any other except romantic ones tend to involve people feeling more intimate with each other. But it’s the same as if you meet somebody you could never be attracted to. You get to know them. It’s all just regular relationship stuff. If you get into a relationship and don’t bond with that person, friendship or romantic or even family, it doesn’t matter. It’s going to be a fail",
">\n\nI met my wife in a bar. I was drunk as shit and my pickup line was \"You're cute, wanna make out?\"\nShe said \"hell no\", but I talked to her again the next day when I was sober and we hit it off instantly. \nI think the best relationships just don't involve the games, or one person chasing until the other finally settles and gives in.",
">\n\nThis is at least plausible. I agree that the strongest romantic relationships contain an element of robust friendship, but I'm not sure that you need to START like this first. It's possible to develop romance and friendship concurrently.",
">\n\n\nIt's possible to develop romance and friendship concurrently.\n\nI really think this is what happened between my wife and I. We met online gaming in 2000. That doesn't sound revolutinary by today's standards but then it was. We talked more and more and it just kind of developed that we were friends, then it moved to RL and not just games. We became best friends and lovers all at the same time. Been together ever since.",
">\n\n\nWe met online gaming in 2000. Been together ever since.\n\nDon't give redditors too much hope..\njk congrats!",
">\n\nLOL. It was a text based online trivia game. No photos no voice. Just text. You really get to know someone that way. No distractions.",
">\n\nAgreeable. I wouldnt say \"The strongest romantic relationships\" HAVE to start that way, but the ones that do tend to be strong romantic relationships.",
">\n\nI think you’re projecting. My 25 years-and-counting relationship with my wife started out on a foundation of raw, animalistic lust.",
">\n\nBut on the other hand there are plenty of people that are best friends, try to date and realize they have no romantic thing, and afterwards it's getting weird etc. \nYou need a romantic and friendship-base, if you want to stay happy togehter. But what comes first is basically irrelevant.",
">\n\nThat’s great since every time I’ve caught feelings for a friend I also lost them as a friend",
">\n\nThe trick is to not stare at them intently for too long at a time",
">\n\nPeople struggle with dating because of these types of opinions. There is no one way to develop a good relationship, there are many. And one way that works for some people can be the exact reason it fails for others. It depends on everyone involved.",
">\n\nTotally agree, I was friends with my wife for 2 years before we began dating. We will be having our 15th wedding anniversary in a couple weeks.",
">\n\nCongratulations! Yay for best friends!!",
">\n\nI sorta disagree, from personal experience.\nWhen I dated someone who I'd been friends with for years, it didn't turn out well. Yeah sure, I knew the bad and good things about them. But that's a double edged sword, because they figured that I would 'be okay with' the same things now that we were in a relationship. There was nothing new for me to learn about him and no bonding experiences that could help us know each other deeper/better, because we already knew each other incredibly well. He wouldn't shut up about his ex before or during our relationship. I gave him an ultimatum and he only continued. I broke up with him and then became an ex he won't shut up about. \nHowever, when I met my current long distance partner, we only knew each other a month before getting together, as there was relatively quick mutual attraction. Our relationship is now 5 years strong and learning new things about them is/has been a bonding experience that I didn't have with the aforementioned ex of mine.\nSo, I think this isn't true in all cases.",
">\n\nI think you don't mean the strongest but safest. All of the things you mentioned are found in long term partners of dating apps and such as well, but of course they also might not be.\nWhat you're describing is every long term relationship. The trust building, the friendship. And yes you don't always find that on dating apps vs being friends first. But dating apps offer you a large pool to chose from which is generally much larger than your friend group.\nBut you also have to remember the downsides of dating a friend too. If it doesn't work out what happens to your friendship or friend group? Were you just friends to get close enough to date because that's kinda shitty. Not to mention it's hard to know if they're actually like you or don't want to lose a friend so go along with it.",
">\n\nNot for me, I've been with A LOT of people, I've dated a few as well. My current gf and future wife met when she came into my shop to get piercings done with her friends, she called the shop afterwards and we had sex the next day. We have been dating ever since ( 3 years ) and she Is the first woman I trust completely and feel comfortable and know I want to spend my entire life with her, my last relationship was 9 years, we were friends before that, the one before that was 6 years, also friends before. So, no, there really is no rules for making the \"perfect relationship\". My \"one night stand\" turned into the woman im going to spend my life with. Seems others have pointed this out as well. This is projection",
">\n\nMy friend found his first girlfriend on Tindr and she was an abusive narcassist (he left her thank god)\nI was a platonic friend with my bf for 3 years before dating him, and we love each other so fucking much",
">\n\nGood for you!\nNonetheless, all scenarios exist around the same percentage:\n- starting as friends becoming good romantic\n- starting as friends and not being good romantic partners\n- starting as a date/lust and becoming good romantically\n- starting as a date/lust and it does not work out",
">\n\nNot the same percentage, OP is right that you'll find a fulfilling relationship more often in person and starting off as friends.",
">\n\nNot that I don’t believe you, but do you have a source?\nThe best relationships I know are from people in the middle: dating, never knew (or interacted with) each other but taking it slow. People who jump too quickly end up fighting, and the people who were friends for so long do manage, but at the end it seems they do divorce because the spark is gone\nAgain, got no proof for that. Just what it seems",
">\n\nYou're asking me for sauce and yet you have failed to provide sauce yourself for your claim that all relationship types are equally occuring. You can only make a subjetive opinion on the matter and our views will be completely different because experiences are uniaue to the individual.\nPeople who enter marriages quickly end up leaving soon because they failed to know each other better. But instead of dating, they could've literally been friends for a long time and that qualifies for 'getting to know each other' and so jumping into marriage might end up being long term. I guess its dofferent for everyone, but I always wanted to meet my partner in real life either at study or work because I know we would be similar on those grounds. I did and I'm happy, and I'm happy because I got to know him more in the safe friendzone. It was a slow process but it was worth it.",
">\n\nI somewhat agree, but not everyone is lucky enough to have or can stay in social circles where you find your s/o.",
">\n\nI think it kinda boils down to the question, what was first, egg or chicken. You won't have full romantic relationship without sex and the same goes for lust based ones only.\nThis is bit of a myth that you can grow yourself a partner, especially after teenage phase, so you either hit or not into someone compatible making it a luck game, requiring lot of volume to get some points. You can start with passionate sex and just score the best partner in the world or you can start with friendship and never make it till some phase.",
">\n\nIs their proof because my evidence says every time u do that she cheats and you lose a good friend",
">\n\nI actually don't think this is as unpopular as you might think. I think at least some people looking for a steamy romance are not necessarily thinking about a life partner, which is totally ok. In the context of looking for a life partner, this seems pretty common.\nThat said, there are some cases where I'd strongly disagree. Dating allows you to filter people out who have definite life incompatibilities with you. Falling for your friends is great if your friend is compatible with you, but sometimes they're not. I've fallen in love with two close friends, neither who I ever would have gone on a date with (both of them fell for me back). In the end, the friendships turned toxic and fell apart because we wanted things from each other that we actually weren't willing to give, given what we wanted from life. I've honestly had much better luck falling in lust with someone, hanging out with them to see if we're baseline compatible, if not long term, and going from there. This isn't like a one-size-fits-all, but there are definite reasons to date strangers.",
">\n\nI’m in a 5 year relationship with someone who I was friends with. I knew him for like ten years now. I do disagree tho, we definitely had a honeymoon phase",
">\n\nNo. This type of shit is what leads mfs that you just want to be friends with to have some false ass hope for the future. I hate this and if someone just wants to be friends they just want to be friends. I'm not saying it never happens but 9/10 if you don't see them that way..... you never will",
">\n\nI started dating my now wife after we were friends for four years. Sparks are overrated.",
">\n\nI wasn't looking for a relationship. Eventually it just happened.",
">\n\nI fell for my husband after being friends for seven months. I had no initial attraction to him, we were just in the same field in doctoral school and interacted a lot. I was actually in another relationship when I first met him. It wasn’t until we worked closely together and got to know each other on a deeper level months later that a spark started to form. After all those months, I suddenly felt such a deep attraction to him I couldn’t ignore it. \nAll of my previous relationships were like that too. I have never felt instant attraction to any person. It always had to grow with time.",
">\n\nThat's how it worked out for me.",
">\n\nI already knew all of those things about my wife because I was working a crap job for low pay when we met. The entire reason I went back to school was for her. It still took four more years to finish my degree and I didn’t have very much money or time between work and school. She stuck with me through those hard times. I didn’t have to just be her friend but she definitely let it be known that she wouldn’t marry me until I finished college. :)",
">\n\nVery true in my case. I didn’t notice him for years. Then we were just friends. Then best friends. Then best friends that say “I love you” to each-other. But finally i resized my true feelings. Ive been with him 2 long years. I wish I loved him sooner because he’s amazing.",
">\n\nThey make for the most difficult breakups, too.",
">\n\nMaybe, but I dont ruin friendships cuz they are valuable so no.",
">\n\nThis is so true. Friends first! I met my fiance on Facebook through our college class group. I dm'd her first and we spoke for three months as really good friends before meeting in person in the fall. That first week we clicked and knew our intentions. We never expected to date. Fast forward 10 years later ( including 3 years of long distance), we have been living together for two years and get married in Oct. Til this day we love each other very much, and is because we see each other as best friends before partners.",
">\n\nBurying the lede, it’s just better than apps, which are fake as fuck and inflate your self worth.",
">\n\nTrue imo the best relationships are the ones where both partners fully trust and know each other's",
">\n\nI agree, but also because I cannot develop feelings or a spark for someone without knowing them for a long time first. I have never just met a person and instantly had feelings for them.",
">\n\nCompletely the opposite in my opinion. Getting to know someone and having instant sparks and slowly falling in love as you get to know more about them is the best feeling in the world. Often times friends first also break up its just a lot more traumatic and you run a lot more risks about breaking up your friend group and stuff like that.",
">\n\nI disagree. The worst relationship i had was with my best friend. She and i were so fucking toxic to each other, that when we broke up and still had to see each other (Same group of friends), we had to wait 5 years until we were ready to be friends again. \nTo all my fellow guys, don't date your female best friend, you'll end up losing a good friend",
">\n\nI think for some people it’s hard to break out of the mindset once you become friends that this person is meant for friendship. After categorizing some people as friends and others as potential love interests, it’s hard to break that boundary in your head.",
">\n\nIf the relationship ended as not platonic then it was never platonic",
">\n\nThe two best relationships I had were with people who we lived together first, became friends, and then lovers, and then partners. They were really sweet relationships and I hold them close to my heart. \nBecause of this, my rule of thumb is friends first, lovers second and it’s never failed me.",
">\n\nMy rule of thumb is the same, too. All for reasons outlined in this post.",
">\n\nYou are in the friend zone aren't you",
">\n\nStrong disagree. Platonic friendships lead to chemistry-less marriages. Was definitely not friends with my husband before we got married, fancied him too much and still do",
">\n\nThat big crazy love feeling is what attaches us to a person. It’s like a drug and our brain will remember what gave us that feeling while our hearts will tell the brain to keep pursing that person who gave us that good feeling, logical or not. When bad things keep happening in a relationship that good feeling gets over weighed by the bad and that this person is now seen as someone who causes bad feelings instead.. or danger in our brain. Some relationships work out some don’t, you have to remember we hear more about those that don’t then do.\nPeople who are strongly attracted to each other can’t be just friends, nature won’t allow it. They either stop being friends, set boundaries, or give in. I feel like those who started platonic friends means one usually likes the other more then the other does and is looking for security and safety more then chemistry and happiness.",
">\n\nNah, for some of us to get that “in love” feeling we have to know someone for a long time. I never just meet someone and feel anything for them. It took me seven months of friendship to fall for my now husband, but when I finally did, it was every bit as powerful and very much that “drug addicted spark” feeling that you are describing. So I think we are all just different with this.",
">\n\nTook y’all 7 months to give in is all I’m hearing. You felt connection towards each other.",
">\n\nNope, I legitimately was not interested in him in the beginning. I didn’t even find him physically appealing at first. Something changed once I started to interact more with him and got to know his mind over months.\nAnd every other relationship I’ve had has been the same. I have never once felt instant connection to a person. It always takes a long time for it to set in. I need that mental connection and build up.",
">\n\nThat’s still the same thing to me. you got to know him even as friends you developed feelings for him.",
">\n\nYes, but the point is that it happened after months of friendship first, not at the forefront. Which is why many people prefer to start platonically and let things develop.",
">\n\nI’m not sure this is an unpopular opinion….",
">\n\nIt neither popular nor unpopular. Some friendships work out romantically. Other people meet and they have been married 20+ years. No one is better"
] |
>
is it weird that I don't believe that relationship between partners can ever be 100% platonic? it is not to disagree with your point, but the initial interest into the engagement must be as least sexual or romantic at some point. It is not to say that it is all that simple, but being a man and having 24/7 urges makes me question dudes who are just friends with female/they them counterpart. | [
"I was good friends with my husband for about 8 years before we started dating. I think we both just needed to grow up a bit. But when we told our friend group we started dating the general reactions was \"about time!\" So I guess it was obvious to everyone but us lol.",
">\n\nMe and my first wife were like rhat",
">\n\nThen what happened?",
">\n\nThen you get told \"I wish I met someone like you.\"",
">\n\nThey make for the most difficult breakups,",
">\n\nSometimes. A better phrase would be that the strongest romantic relationships are also the strongest friendships.\nAlso The honeymoon phase is all relationships. Friendships and lovers. It tends to stop in all relationship when kids get involved 😬",
">\n\nEh, I agree with OP and think it's unpopular because the number of people who meet this way is plummeting, so the acknowledgement makes those people feel insecure.\nOf course you can start a relationship romantically and have it remain successful indefinitely as long as you also build friendship along the way. But there are two key areas this method can never truly replicate:\n\n\nHaving your respect for someone develop 100% independently of your attraction to them. I know a fair number of couples that can't seem to untangle respect and attraction. So when their partner falls in attractiveness it also lowers their overall respect for them. Sometimes that tracks... But sometimes it doesn't (for example, after kids when both people are too tired muster much attraction). Eventually, it leads to problems.\n\n\nAccountability. When you meet through and share a community, there are repercussions for acting a fool. When your only connection to each other is your relationship, there is less incentive to remain civil because you won't be judged/punished by 3rd parties if you don't.\n\n\nIf you look at the complaints that GenZ and younger Millennials have about dating, a lot them can be summed up as \"I'm being treated like a commodity, not like a person.\" Having mutual social ties prevents a lot of that.\nI 100% agree with you about the Honeymoon phase though. After 3 years of being close friends, I started dating my now fiance. Strongest Honeymoon phase I've ever experienced, and also the longest - it's yet to end two years in (and we won't be having kids, so maybe it never will).",
">\n\nIf you meet somebody you’re attracted to, there is no reason you can’t build your romantic relationship along with your friendship. This is typically what i did in all of my relationships. If we couldn’t connect on a more in depth way than attraction, the relationship didn’t last long enough to even call it a relationship. \nA romantic relationship isn’t different than any other except romantic ones tend to involve people feeling more intimate with each other. But it’s the same as if you meet somebody you could never be attracted to. You get to know them. It’s all just regular relationship stuff. If you get into a relationship and don’t bond with that person, friendship or romantic or even family, it doesn’t matter. It’s going to be a fail",
">\n\nI met my wife in a bar. I was drunk as shit and my pickup line was \"You're cute, wanna make out?\"\nShe said \"hell no\", but I talked to her again the next day when I was sober and we hit it off instantly. \nI think the best relationships just don't involve the games, or one person chasing until the other finally settles and gives in.",
">\n\nThis is at least plausible. I agree that the strongest romantic relationships contain an element of robust friendship, but I'm not sure that you need to START like this first. It's possible to develop romance and friendship concurrently.",
">\n\n\nIt's possible to develop romance and friendship concurrently.\n\nI really think this is what happened between my wife and I. We met online gaming in 2000. That doesn't sound revolutinary by today's standards but then it was. We talked more and more and it just kind of developed that we were friends, then it moved to RL and not just games. We became best friends and lovers all at the same time. Been together ever since.",
">\n\n\nWe met online gaming in 2000. Been together ever since.\n\nDon't give redditors too much hope..\njk congrats!",
">\n\nLOL. It was a text based online trivia game. No photos no voice. Just text. You really get to know someone that way. No distractions.",
">\n\nAgreeable. I wouldnt say \"The strongest romantic relationships\" HAVE to start that way, but the ones that do tend to be strong romantic relationships.",
">\n\nI think you’re projecting. My 25 years-and-counting relationship with my wife started out on a foundation of raw, animalistic lust.",
">\n\nBut on the other hand there are plenty of people that are best friends, try to date and realize they have no romantic thing, and afterwards it's getting weird etc. \nYou need a romantic and friendship-base, if you want to stay happy togehter. But what comes first is basically irrelevant.",
">\n\nThat’s great since every time I’ve caught feelings for a friend I also lost them as a friend",
">\n\nThe trick is to not stare at them intently for too long at a time",
">\n\nPeople struggle with dating because of these types of opinions. There is no one way to develop a good relationship, there are many. And one way that works for some people can be the exact reason it fails for others. It depends on everyone involved.",
">\n\nTotally agree, I was friends with my wife for 2 years before we began dating. We will be having our 15th wedding anniversary in a couple weeks.",
">\n\nCongratulations! Yay for best friends!!",
">\n\nI sorta disagree, from personal experience.\nWhen I dated someone who I'd been friends with for years, it didn't turn out well. Yeah sure, I knew the bad and good things about them. But that's a double edged sword, because they figured that I would 'be okay with' the same things now that we were in a relationship. There was nothing new for me to learn about him and no bonding experiences that could help us know each other deeper/better, because we already knew each other incredibly well. He wouldn't shut up about his ex before or during our relationship. I gave him an ultimatum and he only continued. I broke up with him and then became an ex he won't shut up about. \nHowever, when I met my current long distance partner, we only knew each other a month before getting together, as there was relatively quick mutual attraction. Our relationship is now 5 years strong and learning new things about them is/has been a bonding experience that I didn't have with the aforementioned ex of mine.\nSo, I think this isn't true in all cases.",
">\n\nI think you don't mean the strongest but safest. All of the things you mentioned are found in long term partners of dating apps and such as well, but of course they also might not be.\nWhat you're describing is every long term relationship. The trust building, the friendship. And yes you don't always find that on dating apps vs being friends first. But dating apps offer you a large pool to chose from which is generally much larger than your friend group.\nBut you also have to remember the downsides of dating a friend too. If it doesn't work out what happens to your friendship or friend group? Were you just friends to get close enough to date because that's kinda shitty. Not to mention it's hard to know if they're actually like you or don't want to lose a friend so go along with it.",
">\n\nNot for me, I've been with A LOT of people, I've dated a few as well. My current gf and future wife met when she came into my shop to get piercings done with her friends, she called the shop afterwards and we had sex the next day. We have been dating ever since ( 3 years ) and she Is the first woman I trust completely and feel comfortable and know I want to spend my entire life with her, my last relationship was 9 years, we were friends before that, the one before that was 6 years, also friends before. So, no, there really is no rules for making the \"perfect relationship\". My \"one night stand\" turned into the woman im going to spend my life with. Seems others have pointed this out as well. This is projection",
">\n\nMy friend found his first girlfriend on Tindr and she was an abusive narcassist (he left her thank god)\nI was a platonic friend with my bf for 3 years before dating him, and we love each other so fucking much",
">\n\nGood for you!\nNonetheless, all scenarios exist around the same percentage:\n- starting as friends becoming good romantic\n- starting as friends and not being good romantic partners\n- starting as a date/lust and becoming good romantically\n- starting as a date/lust and it does not work out",
">\n\nNot the same percentage, OP is right that you'll find a fulfilling relationship more often in person and starting off as friends.",
">\n\nNot that I don’t believe you, but do you have a source?\nThe best relationships I know are from people in the middle: dating, never knew (or interacted with) each other but taking it slow. People who jump too quickly end up fighting, and the people who were friends for so long do manage, but at the end it seems they do divorce because the spark is gone\nAgain, got no proof for that. Just what it seems",
">\n\nYou're asking me for sauce and yet you have failed to provide sauce yourself for your claim that all relationship types are equally occuring. You can only make a subjetive opinion on the matter and our views will be completely different because experiences are uniaue to the individual.\nPeople who enter marriages quickly end up leaving soon because they failed to know each other better. But instead of dating, they could've literally been friends for a long time and that qualifies for 'getting to know each other' and so jumping into marriage might end up being long term. I guess its dofferent for everyone, but I always wanted to meet my partner in real life either at study or work because I know we would be similar on those grounds. I did and I'm happy, and I'm happy because I got to know him more in the safe friendzone. It was a slow process but it was worth it.",
">\n\nI somewhat agree, but not everyone is lucky enough to have or can stay in social circles where you find your s/o.",
">\n\nI think it kinda boils down to the question, what was first, egg or chicken. You won't have full romantic relationship without sex and the same goes for lust based ones only.\nThis is bit of a myth that you can grow yourself a partner, especially after teenage phase, so you either hit or not into someone compatible making it a luck game, requiring lot of volume to get some points. You can start with passionate sex and just score the best partner in the world or you can start with friendship and never make it till some phase.",
">\n\nIs their proof because my evidence says every time u do that she cheats and you lose a good friend",
">\n\nI actually don't think this is as unpopular as you might think. I think at least some people looking for a steamy romance are not necessarily thinking about a life partner, which is totally ok. In the context of looking for a life partner, this seems pretty common.\nThat said, there are some cases where I'd strongly disagree. Dating allows you to filter people out who have definite life incompatibilities with you. Falling for your friends is great if your friend is compatible with you, but sometimes they're not. I've fallen in love with two close friends, neither who I ever would have gone on a date with (both of them fell for me back). In the end, the friendships turned toxic and fell apart because we wanted things from each other that we actually weren't willing to give, given what we wanted from life. I've honestly had much better luck falling in lust with someone, hanging out with them to see if we're baseline compatible, if not long term, and going from there. This isn't like a one-size-fits-all, but there are definite reasons to date strangers.",
">\n\nI’m in a 5 year relationship with someone who I was friends with. I knew him for like ten years now. I do disagree tho, we definitely had a honeymoon phase",
">\n\nNo. This type of shit is what leads mfs that you just want to be friends with to have some false ass hope for the future. I hate this and if someone just wants to be friends they just want to be friends. I'm not saying it never happens but 9/10 if you don't see them that way..... you never will",
">\n\nI started dating my now wife after we were friends for four years. Sparks are overrated.",
">\n\nI wasn't looking for a relationship. Eventually it just happened.",
">\n\nI fell for my husband after being friends for seven months. I had no initial attraction to him, we were just in the same field in doctoral school and interacted a lot. I was actually in another relationship when I first met him. It wasn’t until we worked closely together and got to know each other on a deeper level months later that a spark started to form. After all those months, I suddenly felt such a deep attraction to him I couldn’t ignore it. \nAll of my previous relationships were like that too. I have never felt instant attraction to any person. It always had to grow with time.",
">\n\nThat's how it worked out for me.",
">\n\nI already knew all of those things about my wife because I was working a crap job for low pay when we met. The entire reason I went back to school was for her. It still took four more years to finish my degree and I didn’t have very much money or time between work and school. She stuck with me through those hard times. I didn’t have to just be her friend but she definitely let it be known that she wouldn’t marry me until I finished college. :)",
">\n\nVery true in my case. I didn’t notice him for years. Then we were just friends. Then best friends. Then best friends that say “I love you” to each-other. But finally i resized my true feelings. Ive been with him 2 long years. I wish I loved him sooner because he’s amazing.",
">\n\nThey make for the most difficult breakups, too.",
">\n\nMaybe, but I dont ruin friendships cuz they are valuable so no.",
">\n\nThis is so true. Friends first! I met my fiance on Facebook through our college class group. I dm'd her first and we spoke for three months as really good friends before meeting in person in the fall. That first week we clicked and knew our intentions. We never expected to date. Fast forward 10 years later ( including 3 years of long distance), we have been living together for two years and get married in Oct. Til this day we love each other very much, and is because we see each other as best friends before partners.",
">\n\nBurying the lede, it’s just better than apps, which are fake as fuck and inflate your self worth.",
">\n\nTrue imo the best relationships are the ones where both partners fully trust and know each other's",
">\n\nI agree, but also because I cannot develop feelings or a spark for someone without knowing them for a long time first. I have never just met a person and instantly had feelings for them.",
">\n\nCompletely the opposite in my opinion. Getting to know someone and having instant sparks and slowly falling in love as you get to know more about them is the best feeling in the world. Often times friends first also break up its just a lot more traumatic and you run a lot more risks about breaking up your friend group and stuff like that.",
">\n\nI disagree. The worst relationship i had was with my best friend. She and i were so fucking toxic to each other, that when we broke up and still had to see each other (Same group of friends), we had to wait 5 years until we were ready to be friends again. \nTo all my fellow guys, don't date your female best friend, you'll end up losing a good friend",
">\n\nI think for some people it’s hard to break out of the mindset once you become friends that this person is meant for friendship. After categorizing some people as friends and others as potential love interests, it’s hard to break that boundary in your head.",
">\n\nIf the relationship ended as not platonic then it was never platonic",
">\n\nThe two best relationships I had were with people who we lived together first, became friends, and then lovers, and then partners. They were really sweet relationships and I hold them close to my heart. \nBecause of this, my rule of thumb is friends first, lovers second and it’s never failed me.",
">\n\nMy rule of thumb is the same, too. All for reasons outlined in this post.",
">\n\nYou are in the friend zone aren't you",
">\n\nStrong disagree. Platonic friendships lead to chemistry-less marriages. Was definitely not friends with my husband before we got married, fancied him too much and still do",
">\n\nThat big crazy love feeling is what attaches us to a person. It’s like a drug and our brain will remember what gave us that feeling while our hearts will tell the brain to keep pursing that person who gave us that good feeling, logical or not. When bad things keep happening in a relationship that good feeling gets over weighed by the bad and that this person is now seen as someone who causes bad feelings instead.. or danger in our brain. Some relationships work out some don’t, you have to remember we hear more about those that don’t then do.\nPeople who are strongly attracted to each other can’t be just friends, nature won’t allow it. They either stop being friends, set boundaries, or give in. I feel like those who started platonic friends means one usually likes the other more then the other does and is looking for security and safety more then chemistry and happiness.",
">\n\nNah, for some of us to get that “in love” feeling we have to know someone for a long time. I never just meet someone and feel anything for them. It took me seven months of friendship to fall for my now husband, but when I finally did, it was every bit as powerful and very much that “drug addicted spark” feeling that you are describing. So I think we are all just different with this.",
">\n\nTook y’all 7 months to give in is all I’m hearing. You felt connection towards each other.",
">\n\nNope, I legitimately was not interested in him in the beginning. I didn’t even find him physically appealing at first. Something changed once I started to interact more with him and got to know his mind over months.\nAnd every other relationship I’ve had has been the same. I have never once felt instant connection to a person. It always takes a long time for it to set in. I need that mental connection and build up.",
">\n\nThat’s still the same thing to me. you got to know him even as friends you developed feelings for him.",
">\n\nYes, but the point is that it happened after months of friendship first, not at the forefront. Which is why many people prefer to start platonically and let things develop.",
">\n\nI’m not sure this is an unpopular opinion….",
">\n\nIt neither popular nor unpopular. Some friendships work out romantically. Other people meet and they have been married 20+ years. No one is better",
">\n\nNah, all happy long-term couples I know started as a romantic relationship. I don't even know how you could have a long platonic friendship and then suddenly feel romantic love and sexual attraction if that wasn't there from the start. If there was romantic connection all along, then you were never friends, you were just taking it slow."
] |
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Your urges are entirely your own | [
"I was good friends with my husband for about 8 years before we started dating. I think we both just needed to grow up a bit. But when we told our friend group we started dating the general reactions was \"about time!\" So I guess it was obvious to everyone but us lol.",
">\n\nMe and my first wife were like rhat",
">\n\nThen what happened?",
">\n\nThen you get told \"I wish I met someone like you.\"",
">\n\nThey make for the most difficult breakups,",
">\n\nSometimes. A better phrase would be that the strongest romantic relationships are also the strongest friendships.\nAlso The honeymoon phase is all relationships. Friendships and lovers. It tends to stop in all relationship when kids get involved 😬",
">\n\nEh, I agree with OP and think it's unpopular because the number of people who meet this way is plummeting, so the acknowledgement makes those people feel insecure.\nOf course you can start a relationship romantically and have it remain successful indefinitely as long as you also build friendship along the way. But there are two key areas this method can never truly replicate:\n\n\nHaving your respect for someone develop 100% independently of your attraction to them. I know a fair number of couples that can't seem to untangle respect and attraction. So when their partner falls in attractiveness it also lowers their overall respect for them. Sometimes that tracks... But sometimes it doesn't (for example, after kids when both people are too tired muster much attraction). Eventually, it leads to problems.\n\n\nAccountability. When you meet through and share a community, there are repercussions for acting a fool. When your only connection to each other is your relationship, there is less incentive to remain civil because you won't be judged/punished by 3rd parties if you don't.\n\n\nIf you look at the complaints that GenZ and younger Millennials have about dating, a lot them can be summed up as \"I'm being treated like a commodity, not like a person.\" Having mutual social ties prevents a lot of that.\nI 100% agree with you about the Honeymoon phase though. After 3 years of being close friends, I started dating my now fiance. Strongest Honeymoon phase I've ever experienced, and also the longest - it's yet to end two years in (and we won't be having kids, so maybe it never will).",
">\n\nIf you meet somebody you’re attracted to, there is no reason you can’t build your romantic relationship along with your friendship. This is typically what i did in all of my relationships. If we couldn’t connect on a more in depth way than attraction, the relationship didn’t last long enough to even call it a relationship. \nA romantic relationship isn’t different than any other except romantic ones tend to involve people feeling more intimate with each other. But it’s the same as if you meet somebody you could never be attracted to. You get to know them. It’s all just regular relationship stuff. If you get into a relationship and don’t bond with that person, friendship or romantic or even family, it doesn’t matter. It’s going to be a fail",
">\n\nI met my wife in a bar. I was drunk as shit and my pickup line was \"You're cute, wanna make out?\"\nShe said \"hell no\", but I talked to her again the next day when I was sober and we hit it off instantly. \nI think the best relationships just don't involve the games, or one person chasing until the other finally settles and gives in.",
">\n\nThis is at least plausible. I agree that the strongest romantic relationships contain an element of robust friendship, but I'm not sure that you need to START like this first. It's possible to develop romance and friendship concurrently.",
">\n\n\nIt's possible to develop romance and friendship concurrently.\n\nI really think this is what happened between my wife and I. We met online gaming in 2000. That doesn't sound revolutinary by today's standards but then it was. We talked more and more and it just kind of developed that we were friends, then it moved to RL and not just games. We became best friends and lovers all at the same time. Been together ever since.",
">\n\n\nWe met online gaming in 2000. Been together ever since.\n\nDon't give redditors too much hope..\njk congrats!",
">\n\nLOL. It was a text based online trivia game. No photos no voice. Just text. You really get to know someone that way. No distractions.",
">\n\nAgreeable. I wouldnt say \"The strongest romantic relationships\" HAVE to start that way, but the ones that do tend to be strong romantic relationships.",
">\n\nI think you’re projecting. My 25 years-and-counting relationship with my wife started out on a foundation of raw, animalistic lust.",
">\n\nBut on the other hand there are plenty of people that are best friends, try to date and realize they have no romantic thing, and afterwards it's getting weird etc. \nYou need a romantic and friendship-base, if you want to stay happy togehter. But what comes first is basically irrelevant.",
">\n\nThat’s great since every time I’ve caught feelings for a friend I also lost them as a friend",
">\n\nThe trick is to not stare at them intently for too long at a time",
">\n\nPeople struggle with dating because of these types of opinions. There is no one way to develop a good relationship, there are many. And one way that works for some people can be the exact reason it fails for others. It depends on everyone involved.",
">\n\nTotally agree, I was friends with my wife for 2 years before we began dating. We will be having our 15th wedding anniversary in a couple weeks.",
">\n\nCongratulations! Yay for best friends!!",
">\n\nI sorta disagree, from personal experience.\nWhen I dated someone who I'd been friends with for years, it didn't turn out well. Yeah sure, I knew the bad and good things about them. But that's a double edged sword, because they figured that I would 'be okay with' the same things now that we were in a relationship. There was nothing new for me to learn about him and no bonding experiences that could help us know each other deeper/better, because we already knew each other incredibly well. He wouldn't shut up about his ex before or during our relationship. I gave him an ultimatum and he only continued. I broke up with him and then became an ex he won't shut up about. \nHowever, when I met my current long distance partner, we only knew each other a month before getting together, as there was relatively quick mutual attraction. Our relationship is now 5 years strong and learning new things about them is/has been a bonding experience that I didn't have with the aforementioned ex of mine.\nSo, I think this isn't true in all cases.",
">\n\nI think you don't mean the strongest but safest. All of the things you mentioned are found in long term partners of dating apps and such as well, but of course they also might not be.\nWhat you're describing is every long term relationship. The trust building, the friendship. And yes you don't always find that on dating apps vs being friends first. But dating apps offer you a large pool to chose from which is generally much larger than your friend group.\nBut you also have to remember the downsides of dating a friend too. If it doesn't work out what happens to your friendship or friend group? Were you just friends to get close enough to date because that's kinda shitty. Not to mention it's hard to know if they're actually like you or don't want to lose a friend so go along with it.",
">\n\nNot for me, I've been with A LOT of people, I've dated a few as well. My current gf and future wife met when she came into my shop to get piercings done with her friends, she called the shop afterwards and we had sex the next day. We have been dating ever since ( 3 years ) and she Is the first woman I trust completely and feel comfortable and know I want to spend my entire life with her, my last relationship was 9 years, we were friends before that, the one before that was 6 years, also friends before. So, no, there really is no rules for making the \"perfect relationship\". My \"one night stand\" turned into the woman im going to spend my life with. Seems others have pointed this out as well. This is projection",
">\n\nMy friend found his first girlfriend on Tindr and she was an abusive narcassist (he left her thank god)\nI was a platonic friend with my bf for 3 years before dating him, and we love each other so fucking much",
">\n\nGood for you!\nNonetheless, all scenarios exist around the same percentage:\n- starting as friends becoming good romantic\n- starting as friends and not being good romantic partners\n- starting as a date/lust and becoming good romantically\n- starting as a date/lust and it does not work out",
">\n\nNot the same percentage, OP is right that you'll find a fulfilling relationship more often in person and starting off as friends.",
">\n\nNot that I don’t believe you, but do you have a source?\nThe best relationships I know are from people in the middle: dating, never knew (or interacted with) each other but taking it slow. People who jump too quickly end up fighting, and the people who were friends for so long do manage, but at the end it seems they do divorce because the spark is gone\nAgain, got no proof for that. Just what it seems",
">\n\nYou're asking me for sauce and yet you have failed to provide sauce yourself for your claim that all relationship types are equally occuring. You can only make a subjetive opinion on the matter and our views will be completely different because experiences are uniaue to the individual.\nPeople who enter marriages quickly end up leaving soon because they failed to know each other better. But instead of dating, they could've literally been friends for a long time and that qualifies for 'getting to know each other' and so jumping into marriage might end up being long term. I guess its dofferent for everyone, but I always wanted to meet my partner in real life either at study or work because I know we would be similar on those grounds. I did and I'm happy, and I'm happy because I got to know him more in the safe friendzone. It was a slow process but it was worth it.",
">\n\nI somewhat agree, but not everyone is lucky enough to have or can stay in social circles where you find your s/o.",
">\n\nI think it kinda boils down to the question, what was first, egg or chicken. You won't have full romantic relationship without sex and the same goes for lust based ones only.\nThis is bit of a myth that you can grow yourself a partner, especially after teenage phase, so you either hit or not into someone compatible making it a luck game, requiring lot of volume to get some points. You can start with passionate sex and just score the best partner in the world or you can start with friendship and never make it till some phase.",
">\n\nIs their proof because my evidence says every time u do that she cheats and you lose a good friend",
">\n\nI actually don't think this is as unpopular as you might think. I think at least some people looking for a steamy romance are not necessarily thinking about a life partner, which is totally ok. In the context of looking for a life partner, this seems pretty common.\nThat said, there are some cases where I'd strongly disagree. Dating allows you to filter people out who have definite life incompatibilities with you. Falling for your friends is great if your friend is compatible with you, but sometimes they're not. I've fallen in love with two close friends, neither who I ever would have gone on a date with (both of them fell for me back). In the end, the friendships turned toxic and fell apart because we wanted things from each other that we actually weren't willing to give, given what we wanted from life. I've honestly had much better luck falling in lust with someone, hanging out with them to see if we're baseline compatible, if not long term, and going from there. This isn't like a one-size-fits-all, but there are definite reasons to date strangers.",
">\n\nI’m in a 5 year relationship with someone who I was friends with. I knew him for like ten years now. I do disagree tho, we definitely had a honeymoon phase",
">\n\nNo. This type of shit is what leads mfs that you just want to be friends with to have some false ass hope for the future. I hate this and if someone just wants to be friends they just want to be friends. I'm not saying it never happens but 9/10 if you don't see them that way..... you never will",
">\n\nI started dating my now wife after we were friends for four years. Sparks are overrated.",
">\n\nI wasn't looking for a relationship. Eventually it just happened.",
">\n\nI fell for my husband after being friends for seven months. I had no initial attraction to him, we were just in the same field in doctoral school and interacted a lot. I was actually in another relationship when I first met him. It wasn’t until we worked closely together and got to know each other on a deeper level months later that a spark started to form. After all those months, I suddenly felt such a deep attraction to him I couldn’t ignore it. \nAll of my previous relationships were like that too. I have never felt instant attraction to any person. It always had to grow with time.",
">\n\nThat's how it worked out for me.",
">\n\nI already knew all of those things about my wife because I was working a crap job for low pay when we met. The entire reason I went back to school was for her. It still took four more years to finish my degree and I didn’t have very much money or time between work and school. She stuck with me through those hard times. I didn’t have to just be her friend but she definitely let it be known that she wouldn’t marry me until I finished college. :)",
">\n\nVery true in my case. I didn’t notice him for years. Then we were just friends. Then best friends. Then best friends that say “I love you” to each-other. But finally i resized my true feelings. Ive been with him 2 long years. I wish I loved him sooner because he’s amazing.",
">\n\nThey make for the most difficult breakups, too.",
">\n\nMaybe, but I dont ruin friendships cuz they are valuable so no.",
">\n\nThis is so true. Friends first! I met my fiance on Facebook through our college class group. I dm'd her first and we spoke for three months as really good friends before meeting in person in the fall. That first week we clicked and knew our intentions. We never expected to date. Fast forward 10 years later ( including 3 years of long distance), we have been living together for two years and get married in Oct. Til this day we love each other very much, and is because we see each other as best friends before partners.",
">\n\nBurying the lede, it’s just better than apps, which are fake as fuck and inflate your self worth.",
">\n\nTrue imo the best relationships are the ones where both partners fully trust and know each other's",
">\n\nI agree, but also because I cannot develop feelings or a spark for someone without knowing them for a long time first. I have never just met a person and instantly had feelings for them.",
">\n\nCompletely the opposite in my opinion. Getting to know someone and having instant sparks and slowly falling in love as you get to know more about them is the best feeling in the world. Often times friends first also break up its just a lot more traumatic and you run a lot more risks about breaking up your friend group and stuff like that.",
">\n\nI disagree. The worst relationship i had was with my best friend. She and i were so fucking toxic to each other, that when we broke up and still had to see each other (Same group of friends), we had to wait 5 years until we were ready to be friends again. \nTo all my fellow guys, don't date your female best friend, you'll end up losing a good friend",
">\n\nI think for some people it’s hard to break out of the mindset once you become friends that this person is meant for friendship. After categorizing some people as friends and others as potential love interests, it’s hard to break that boundary in your head.",
">\n\nIf the relationship ended as not platonic then it was never platonic",
">\n\nThe two best relationships I had were with people who we lived together first, became friends, and then lovers, and then partners. They were really sweet relationships and I hold them close to my heart. \nBecause of this, my rule of thumb is friends first, lovers second and it’s never failed me.",
">\n\nMy rule of thumb is the same, too. All for reasons outlined in this post.",
">\n\nYou are in the friend zone aren't you",
">\n\nStrong disagree. Platonic friendships lead to chemistry-less marriages. Was definitely not friends with my husband before we got married, fancied him too much and still do",
">\n\nThat big crazy love feeling is what attaches us to a person. It’s like a drug and our brain will remember what gave us that feeling while our hearts will tell the brain to keep pursing that person who gave us that good feeling, logical or not. When bad things keep happening in a relationship that good feeling gets over weighed by the bad and that this person is now seen as someone who causes bad feelings instead.. or danger in our brain. Some relationships work out some don’t, you have to remember we hear more about those that don’t then do.\nPeople who are strongly attracted to each other can’t be just friends, nature won’t allow it. They either stop being friends, set boundaries, or give in. I feel like those who started platonic friends means one usually likes the other more then the other does and is looking for security and safety more then chemistry and happiness.",
">\n\nNah, for some of us to get that “in love” feeling we have to know someone for a long time. I never just meet someone and feel anything for them. It took me seven months of friendship to fall for my now husband, but when I finally did, it was every bit as powerful and very much that “drug addicted spark” feeling that you are describing. So I think we are all just different with this.",
">\n\nTook y’all 7 months to give in is all I’m hearing. You felt connection towards each other.",
">\n\nNope, I legitimately was not interested in him in the beginning. I didn’t even find him physically appealing at first. Something changed once I started to interact more with him and got to know his mind over months.\nAnd every other relationship I’ve had has been the same. I have never once felt instant connection to a person. It always takes a long time for it to set in. I need that mental connection and build up.",
">\n\nThat’s still the same thing to me. you got to know him even as friends you developed feelings for him.",
">\n\nYes, but the point is that it happened after months of friendship first, not at the forefront. Which is why many people prefer to start platonically and let things develop.",
">\n\nI’m not sure this is an unpopular opinion….",
">\n\nIt neither popular nor unpopular. Some friendships work out romantically. Other people meet and they have been married 20+ years. No one is better",
">\n\nNah, all happy long-term couples I know started as a romantic relationship. I don't even know how you could have a long platonic friendship and then suddenly feel romantic love and sexual attraction if that wasn't there from the start. If there was romantic connection all along, then you were never friends, you were just taking it slow.",
">\n\nis it weird that I don't believe that relationship between partners can ever be 100% platonic? it is not to disagree with your point, but the initial interest into the engagement must be as least sexual or romantic at some point. It is not to say that it is all that simple, but being a man and having 24/7 urges makes me question dudes who are just friends with female/they them counterpart."
] |
>
yes but my point is that in the heart any interaction that extends to the friendship department among opposite genders are usually have at least of a pretext of a romantic/sexual interest.
the interplay of those tensions create the pretext for extending the relationship.
it is not to say that while getting to know someone you might loose/ or lessen that desire and it can be replaced by the deep bond, but once that bond officially ends in sexual/romantic territory, you cannot agrue in good faith that you were "just" friends. | [
"I was good friends with my husband for about 8 years before we started dating. I think we both just needed to grow up a bit. But when we told our friend group we started dating the general reactions was \"about time!\" So I guess it was obvious to everyone but us lol.",
">\n\nMe and my first wife were like rhat",
">\n\nThen what happened?",
">\n\nThen you get told \"I wish I met someone like you.\"",
">\n\nThey make for the most difficult breakups,",
">\n\nSometimes. A better phrase would be that the strongest romantic relationships are also the strongest friendships.\nAlso The honeymoon phase is all relationships. Friendships and lovers. It tends to stop in all relationship when kids get involved 😬",
">\n\nEh, I agree with OP and think it's unpopular because the number of people who meet this way is plummeting, so the acknowledgement makes those people feel insecure.\nOf course you can start a relationship romantically and have it remain successful indefinitely as long as you also build friendship along the way. But there are two key areas this method can never truly replicate:\n\n\nHaving your respect for someone develop 100% independently of your attraction to them. I know a fair number of couples that can't seem to untangle respect and attraction. So when their partner falls in attractiveness it also lowers their overall respect for them. Sometimes that tracks... But sometimes it doesn't (for example, after kids when both people are too tired muster much attraction). Eventually, it leads to problems.\n\n\nAccountability. When you meet through and share a community, there are repercussions for acting a fool. When your only connection to each other is your relationship, there is less incentive to remain civil because you won't be judged/punished by 3rd parties if you don't.\n\n\nIf you look at the complaints that GenZ and younger Millennials have about dating, a lot them can be summed up as \"I'm being treated like a commodity, not like a person.\" Having mutual social ties prevents a lot of that.\nI 100% agree with you about the Honeymoon phase though. After 3 years of being close friends, I started dating my now fiance. Strongest Honeymoon phase I've ever experienced, and also the longest - it's yet to end two years in (and we won't be having kids, so maybe it never will).",
">\n\nIf you meet somebody you’re attracted to, there is no reason you can’t build your romantic relationship along with your friendship. This is typically what i did in all of my relationships. If we couldn’t connect on a more in depth way than attraction, the relationship didn’t last long enough to even call it a relationship. \nA romantic relationship isn’t different than any other except romantic ones tend to involve people feeling more intimate with each other. But it’s the same as if you meet somebody you could never be attracted to. You get to know them. It’s all just regular relationship stuff. If you get into a relationship and don’t bond with that person, friendship or romantic or even family, it doesn’t matter. It’s going to be a fail",
">\n\nI met my wife in a bar. I was drunk as shit and my pickup line was \"You're cute, wanna make out?\"\nShe said \"hell no\", but I talked to her again the next day when I was sober and we hit it off instantly. \nI think the best relationships just don't involve the games, or one person chasing until the other finally settles and gives in.",
">\n\nThis is at least plausible. I agree that the strongest romantic relationships contain an element of robust friendship, but I'm not sure that you need to START like this first. It's possible to develop romance and friendship concurrently.",
">\n\n\nIt's possible to develop romance and friendship concurrently.\n\nI really think this is what happened between my wife and I. We met online gaming in 2000. That doesn't sound revolutinary by today's standards but then it was. We talked more and more and it just kind of developed that we were friends, then it moved to RL and not just games. We became best friends and lovers all at the same time. Been together ever since.",
">\n\n\nWe met online gaming in 2000. Been together ever since.\n\nDon't give redditors too much hope..\njk congrats!",
">\n\nLOL. It was a text based online trivia game. No photos no voice. Just text. You really get to know someone that way. No distractions.",
">\n\nAgreeable. I wouldnt say \"The strongest romantic relationships\" HAVE to start that way, but the ones that do tend to be strong romantic relationships.",
">\n\nI think you’re projecting. My 25 years-and-counting relationship with my wife started out on a foundation of raw, animalistic lust.",
">\n\nBut on the other hand there are plenty of people that are best friends, try to date and realize they have no romantic thing, and afterwards it's getting weird etc. \nYou need a romantic and friendship-base, if you want to stay happy togehter. But what comes first is basically irrelevant.",
">\n\nThat’s great since every time I’ve caught feelings for a friend I also lost them as a friend",
">\n\nThe trick is to not stare at them intently for too long at a time",
">\n\nPeople struggle with dating because of these types of opinions. There is no one way to develop a good relationship, there are many. And one way that works for some people can be the exact reason it fails for others. It depends on everyone involved.",
">\n\nTotally agree, I was friends with my wife for 2 years before we began dating. We will be having our 15th wedding anniversary in a couple weeks.",
">\n\nCongratulations! Yay for best friends!!",
">\n\nI sorta disagree, from personal experience.\nWhen I dated someone who I'd been friends with for years, it didn't turn out well. Yeah sure, I knew the bad and good things about them. But that's a double edged sword, because they figured that I would 'be okay with' the same things now that we were in a relationship. There was nothing new for me to learn about him and no bonding experiences that could help us know each other deeper/better, because we already knew each other incredibly well. He wouldn't shut up about his ex before or during our relationship. I gave him an ultimatum and he only continued. I broke up with him and then became an ex he won't shut up about. \nHowever, when I met my current long distance partner, we only knew each other a month before getting together, as there was relatively quick mutual attraction. Our relationship is now 5 years strong and learning new things about them is/has been a bonding experience that I didn't have with the aforementioned ex of mine.\nSo, I think this isn't true in all cases.",
">\n\nI think you don't mean the strongest but safest. All of the things you mentioned are found in long term partners of dating apps and such as well, but of course they also might not be.\nWhat you're describing is every long term relationship. The trust building, the friendship. And yes you don't always find that on dating apps vs being friends first. But dating apps offer you a large pool to chose from which is generally much larger than your friend group.\nBut you also have to remember the downsides of dating a friend too. If it doesn't work out what happens to your friendship or friend group? Were you just friends to get close enough to date because that's kinda shitty. Not to mention it's hard to know if they're actually like you or don't want to lose a friend so go along with it.",
">\n\nNot for me, I've been with A LOT of people, I've dated a few as well. My current gf and future wife met when she came into my shop to get piercings done with her friends, she called the shop afterwards and we had sex the next day. We have been dating ever since ( 3 years ) and she Is the first woman I trust completely and feel comfortable and know I want to spend my entire life with her, my last relationship was 9 years, we were friends before that, the one before that was 6 years, also friends before. So, no, there really is no rules for making the \"perfect relationship\". My \"one night stand\" turned into the woman im going to spend my life with. Seems others have pointed this out as well. This is projection",
">\n\nMy friend found his first girlfriend on Tindr and she was an abusive narcassist (he left her thank god)\nI was a platonic friend with my bf for 3 years before dating him, and we love each other so fucking much",
">\n\nGood for you!\nNonetheless, all scenarios exist around the same percentage:\n- starting as friends becoming good romantic\n- starting as friends and not being good romantic partners\n- starting as a date/lust and becoming good romantically\n- starting as a date/lust and it does not work out",
">\n\nNot the same percentage, OP is right that you'll find a fulfilling relationship more often in person and starting off as friends.",
">\n\nNot that I don’t believe you, but do you have a source?\nThe best relationships I know are from people in the middle: dating, never knew (or interacted with) each other but taking it slow. People who jump too quickly end up fighting, and the people who were friends for so long do manage, but at the end it seems they do divorce because the spark is gone\nAgain, got no proof for that. Just what it seems",
">\n\nYou're asking me for sauce and yet you have failed to provide sauce yourself for your claim that all relationship types are equally occuring. You can only make a subjetive opinion on the matter and our views will be completely different because experiences are uniaue to the individual.\nPeople who enter marriages quickly end up leaving soon because they failed to know each other better. But instead of dating, they could've literally been friends for a long time and that qualifies for 'getting to know each other' and so jumping into marriage might end up being long term. I guess its dofferent for everyone, but I always wanted to meet my partner in real life either at study or work because I know we would be similar on those grounds. I did and I'm happy, and I'm happy because I got to know him more in the safe friendzone. It was a slow process but it was worth it.",
">\n\nI somewhat agree, but not everyone is lucky enough to have or can stay in social circles where you find your s/o.",
">\n\nI think it kinda boils down to the question, what was first, egg or chicken. You won't have full romantic relationship without sex and the same goes for lust based ones only.\nThis is bit of a myth that you can grow yourself a partner, especially after teenage phase, so you either hit or not into someone compatible making it a luck game, requiring lot of volume to get some points. You can start with passionate sex and just score the best partner in the world or you can start with friendship and never make it till some phase.",
">\n\nIs their proof because my evidence says every time u do that she cheats and you lose a good friend",
">\n\nI actually don't think this is as unpopular as you might think. I think at least some people looking for a steamy romance are not necessarily thinking about a life partner, which is totally ok. In the context of looking for a life partner, this seems pretty common.\nThat said, there are some cases where I'd strongly disagree. Dating allows you to filter people out who have definite life incompatibilities with you. Falling for your friends is great if your friend is compatible with you, but sometimes they're not. I've fallen in love with two close friends, neither who I ever would have gone on a date with (both of them fell for me back). In the end, the friendships turned toxic and fell apart because we wanted things from each other that we actually weren't willing to give, given what we wanted from life. I've honestly had much better luck falling in lust with someone, hanging out with them to see if we're baseline compatible, if not long term, and going from there. This isn't like a one-size-fits-all, but there are definite reasons to date strangers.",
">\n\nI’m in a 5 year relationship with someone who I was friends with. I knew him for like ten years now. I do disagree tho, we definitely had a honeymoon phase",
">\n\nNo. This type of shit is what leads mfs that you just want to be friends with to have some false ass hope for the future. I hate this and if someone just wants to be friends they just want to be friends. I'm not saying it never happens but 9/10 if you don't see them that way..... you never will",
">\n\nI started dating my now wife after we were friends for four years. Sparks are overrated.",
">\n\nI wasn't looking for a relationship. Eventually it just happened.",
">\n\nI fell for my husband after being friends for seven months. I had no initial attraction to him, we were just in the same field in doctoral school and interacted a lot. I was actually in another relationship when I first met him. It wasn’t until we worked closely together and got to know each other on a deeper level months later that a spark started to form. After all those months, I suddenly felt such a deep attraction to him I couldn’t ignore it. \nAll of my previous relationships were like that too. I have never felt instant attraction to any person. It always had to grow with time.",
">\n\nThat's how it worked out for me.",
">\n\nI already knew all of those things about my wife because I was working a crap job for low pay when we met. The entire reason I went back to school was for her. It still took four more years to finish my degree and I didn’t have very much money or time between work and school. She stuck with me through those hard times. I didn’t have to just be her friend but she definitely let it be known that she wouldn’t marry me until I finished college. :)",
">\n\nVery true in my case. I didn’t notice him for years. Then we were just friends. Then best friends. Then best friends that say “I love you” to each-other. But finally i resized my true feelings. Ive been with him 2 long years. I wish I loved him sooner because he’s amazing.",
">\n\nThey make for the most difficult breakups, too.",
">\n\nMaybe, but I dont ruin friendships cuz they are valuable so no.",
">\n\nThis is so true. Friends first! I met my fiance on Facebook through our college class group. I dm'd her first and we spoke for three months as really good friends before meeting in person in the fall. That first week we clicked and knew our intentions. We never expected to date. Fast forward 10 years later ( including 3 years of long distance), we have been living together for two years and get married in Oct. Til this day we love each other very much, and is because we see each other as best friends before partners.",
">\n\nBurying the lede, it’s just better than apps, which are fake as fuck and inflate your self worth.",
">\n\nTrue imo the best relationships are the ones where both partners fully trust and know each other's",
">\n\nI agree, but also because I cannot develop feelings or a spark for someone without knowing them for a long time first. I have never just met a person and instantly had feelings for them.",
">\n\nCompletely the opposite in my opinion. Getting to know someone and having instant sparks and slowly falling in love as you get to know more about them is the best feeling in the world. Often times friends first also break up its just a lot more traumatic and you run a lot more risks about breaking up your friend group and stuff like that.",
">\n\nI disagree. The worst relationship i had was with my best friend. She and i were so fucking toxic to each other, that when we broke up and still had to see each other (Same group of friends), we had to wait 5 years until we were ready to be friends again. \nTo all my fellow guys, don't date your female best friend, you'll end up losing a good friend",
">\n\nI think for some people it’s hard to break out of the mindset once you become friends that this person is meant for friendship. After categorizing some people as friends and others as potential love interests, it’s hard to break that boundary in your head.",
">\n\nIf the relationship ended as not platonic then it was never platonic",
">\n\nThe two best relationships I had were with people who we lived together first, became friends, and then lovers, and then partners. They were really sweet relationships and I hold them close to my heart. \nBecause of this, my rule of thumb is friends first, lovers second and it’s never failed me.",
">\n\nMy rule of thumb is the same, too. All for reasons outlined in this post.",
">\n\nYou are in the friend zone aren't you",
">\n\nStrong disagree. Platonic friendships lead to chemistry-less marriages. Was definitely not friends with my husband before we got married, fancied him too much and still do",
">\n\nThat big crazy love feeling is what attaches us to a person. It’s like a drug and our brain will remember what gave us that feeling while our hearts will tell the brain to keep pursing that person who gave us that good feeling, logical or not. When bad things keep happening in a relationship that good feeling gets over weighed by the bad and that this person is now seen as someone who causes bad feelings instead.. or danger in our brain. Some relationships work out some don’t, you have to remember we hear more about those that don’t then do.\nPeople who are strongly attracted to each other can’t be just friends, nature won’t allow it. They either stop being friends, set boundaries, or give in. I feel like those who started platonic friends means one usually likes the other more then the other does and is looking for security and safety more then chemistry and happiness.",
">\n\nNah, for some of us to get that “in love” feeling we have to know someone for a long time. I never just meet someone and feel anything for them. It took me seven months of friendship to fall for my now husband, but when I finally did, it was every bit as powerful and very much that “drug addicted spark” feeling that you are describing. So I think we are all just different with this.",
">\n\nTook y’all 7 months to give in is all I’m hearing. You felt connection towards each other.",
">\n\nNope, I legitimately was not interested in him in the beginning. I didn’t even find him physically appealing at first. Something changed once I started to interact more with him and got to know his mind over months.\nAnd every other relationship I’ve had has been the same. I have never once felt instant connection to a person. It always takes a long time for it to set in. I need that mental connection and build up.",
">\n\nThat’s still the same thing to me. you got to know him even as friends you developed feelings for him.",
">\n\nYes, but the point is that it happened after months of friendship first, not at the forefront. Which is why many people prefer to start platonically and let things develop.",
">\n\nI’m not sure this is an unpopular opinion….",
">\n\nIt neither popular nor unpopular. Some friendships work out romantically. Other people meet and they have been married 20+ years. No one is better",
">\n\nNah, all happy long-term couples I know started as a romantic relationship. I don't even know how you could have a long platonic friendship and then suddenly feel romantic love and sexual attraction if that wasn't there from the start. If there was romantic connection all along, then you were never friends, you were just taking it slow.",
">\n\nis it weird that I don't believe that relationship between partners can ever be 100% platonic? it is not to disagree with your point, but the initial interest into the engagement must be as least sexual or romantic at some point. It is not to say that it is all that simple, but being a man and having 24/7 urges makes me question dudes who are just friends with female/they them counterpart.",
">\n\nYour urges are entirely your own"
] |
>
Common sense, not an unpopular opinion. Love at first sight is not that common, and often doesn't lead to anything anyway. You have to get to know a person before a romance can really start. | [
"I was good friends with my husband for about 8 years before we started dating. I think we both just needed to grow up a bit. But when we told our friend group we started dating the general reactions was \"about time!\" So I guess it was obvious to everyone but us lol.",
">\n\nMe and my first wife were like rhat",
">\n\nThen what happened?",
">\n\nThen you get told \"I wish I met someone like you.\"",
">\n\nThey make for the most difficult breakups,",
">\n\nSometimes. A better phrase would be that the strongest romantic relationships are also the strongest friendships.\nAlso The honeymoon phase is all relationships. Friendships and lovers. It tends to stop in all relationship when kids get involved 😬",
">\n\nEh, I agree with OP and think it's unpopular because the number of people who meet this way is plummeting, so the acknowledgement makes those people feel insecure.\nOf course you can start a relationship romantically and have it remain successful indefinitely as long as you also build friendship along the way. But there are two key areas this method can never truly replicate:\n\n\nHaving your respect for someone develop 100% independently of your attraction to them. I know a fair number of couples that can't seem to untangle respect and attraction. So when their partner falls in attractiveness it also lowers their overall respect for them. Sometimes that tracks... But sometimes it doesn't (for example, after kids when both people are too tired muster much attraction). Eventually, it leads to problems.\n\n\nAccountability. When you meet through and share a community, there are repercussions for acting a fool. When your only connection to each other is your relationship, there is less incentive to remain civil because you won't be judged/punished by 3rd parties if you don't.\n\n\nIf you look at the complaints that GenZ and younger Millennials have about dating, a lot them can be summed up as \"I'm being treated like a commodity, not like a person.\" Having mutual social ties prevents a lot of that.\nI 100% agree with you about the Honeymoon phase though. After 3 years of being close friends, I started dating my now fiance. Strongest Honeymoon phase I've ever experienced, and also the longest - it's yet to end two years in (and we won't be having kids, so maybe it never will).",
">\n\nIf you meet somebody you’re attracted to, there is no reason you can’t build your romantic relationship along with your friendship. This is typically what i did in all of my relationships. If we couldn’t connect on a more in depth way than attraction, the relationship didn’t last long enough to even call it a relationship. \nA romantic relationship isn’t different than any other except romantic ones tend to involve people feeling more intimate with each other. But it’s the same as if you meet somebody you could never be attracted to. You get to know them. It’s all just regular relationship stuff. If you get into a relationship and don’t bond with that person, friendship or romantic or even family, it doesn’t matter. It’s going to be a fail",
">\n\nI met my wife in a bar. I was drunk as shit and my pickup line was \"You're cute, wanna make out?\"\nShe said \"hell no\", but I talked to her again the next day when I was sober and we hit it off instantly. \nI think the best relationships just don't involve the games, or one person chasing until the other finally settles and gives in.",
">\n\nThis is at least plausible. I agree that the strongest romantic relationships contain an element of robust friendship, but I'm not sure that you need to START like this first. It's possible to develop romance and friendship concurrently.",
">\n\n\nIt's possible to develop romance and friendship concurrently.\n\nI really think this is what happened between my wife and I. We met online gaming in 2000. That doesn't sound revolutinary by today's standards but then it was. We talked more and more and it just kind of developed that we were friends, then it moved to RL and not just games. We became best friends and lovers all at the same time. Been together ever since.",
">\n\n\nWe met online gaming in 2000. Been together ever since.\n\nDon't give redditors too much hope..\njk congrats!",
">\n\nLOL. It was a text based online trivia game. No photos no voice. Just text. You really get to know someone that way. No distractions.",
">\n\nAgreeable. I wouldnt say \"The strongest romantic relationships\" HAVE to start that way, but the ones that do tend to be strong romantic relationships.",
">\n\nI think you’re projecting. My 25 years-and-counting relationship with my wife started out on a foundation of raw, animalistic lust.",
">\n\nBut on the other hand there are plenty of people that are best friends, try to date and realize they have no romantic thing, and afterwards it's getting weird etc. \nYou need a romantic and friendship-base, if you want to stay happy togehter. But what comes first is basically irrelevant.",
">\n\nThat’s great since every time I’ve caught feelings for a friend I also lost them as a friend",
">\n\nThe trick is to not stare at them intently for too long at a time",
">\n\nPeople struggle with dating because of these types of opinions. There is no one way to develop a good relationship, there are many. And one way that works for some people can be the exact reason it fails for others. It depends on everyone involved.",
">\n\nTotally agree, I was friends with my wife for 2 years before we began dating. We will be having our 15th wedding anniversary in a couple weeks.",
">\n\nCongratulations! Yay for best friends!!",
">\n\nI sorta disagree, from personal experience.\nWhen I dated someone who I'd been friends with for years, it didn't turn out well. Yeah sure, I knew the bad and good things about them. But that's a double edged sword, because they figured that I would 'be okay with' the same things now that we were in a relationship. There was nothing new for me to learn about him and no bonding experiences that could help us know each other deeper/better, because we already knew each other incredibly well. He wouldn't shut up about his ex before or during our relationship. I gave him an ultimatum and he only continued. I broke up with him and then became an ex he won't shut up about. \nHowever, when I met my current long distance partner, we only knew each other a month before getting together, as there was relatively quick mutual attraction. Our relationship is now 5 years strong and learning new things about them is/has been a bonding experience that I didn't have with the aforementioned ex of mine.\nSo, I think this isn't true in all cases.",
">\n\nI think you don't mean the strongest but safest. All of the things you mentioned are found in long term partners of dating apps and such as well, but of course they also might not be.\nWhat you're describing is every long term relationship. The trust building, the friendship. And yes you don't always find that on dating apps vs being friends first. But dating apps offer you a large pool to chose from which is generally much larger than your friend group.\nBut you also have to remember the downsides of dating a friend too. If it doesn't work out what happens to your friendship or friend group? Were you just friends to get close enough to date because that's kinda shitty. Not to mention it's hard to know if they're actually like you or don't want to lose a friend so go along with it.",
">\n\nNot for me, I've been with A LOT of people, I've dated a few as well. My current gf and future wife met when she came into my shop to get piercings done with her friends, she called the shop afterwards and we had sex the next day. We have been dating ever since ( 3 years ) and she Is the first woman I trust completely and feel comfortable and know I want to spend my entire life with her, my last relationship was 9 years, we were friends before that, the one before that was 6 years, also friends before. So, no, there really is no rules for making the \"perfect relationship\". My \"one night stand\" turned into the woman im going to spend my life with. Seems others have pointed this out as well. This is projection",
">\n\nMy friend found his first girlfriend on Tindr and she was an abusive narcassist (he left her thank god)\nI was a platonic friend with my bf for 3 years before dating him, and we love each other so fucking much",
">\n\nGood for you!\nNonetheless, all scenarios exist around the same percentage:\n- starting as friends becoming good romantic\n- starting as friends and not being good romantic partners\n- starting as a date/lust and becoming good romantically\n- starting as a date/lust and it does not work out",
">\n\nNot the same percentage, OP is right that you'll find a fulfilling relationship more often in person and starting off as friends.",
">\n\nNot that I don’t believe you, but do you have a source?\nThe best relationships I know are from people in the middle: dating, never knew (or interacted with) each other but taking it slow. People who jump too quickly end up fighting, and the people who were friends for so long do manage, but at the end it seems they do divorce because the spark is gone\nAgain, got no proof for that. Just what it seems",
">\n\nYou're asking me for sauce and yet you have failed to provide sauce yourself for your claim that all relationship types are equally occuring. You can only make a subjetive opinion on the matter and our views will be completely different because experiences are uniaue to the individual.\nPeople who enter marriages quickly end up leaving soon because they failed to know each other better. But instead of dating, they could've literally been friends for a long time and that qualifies for 'getting to know each other' and so jumping into marriage might end up being long term. I guess its dofferent for everyone, but I always wanted to meet my partner in real life either at study or work because I know we would be similar on those grounds. I did and I'm happy, and I'm happy because I got to know him more in the safe friendzone. It was a slow process but it was worth it.",
">\n\nI somewhat agree, but not everyone is lucky enough to have or can stay in social circles where you find your s/o.",
">\n\nI think it kinda boils down to the question, what was first, egg or chicken. You won't have full romantic relationship without sex and the same goes for lust based ones only.\nThis is bit of a myth that you can grow yourself a partner, especially after teenage phase, so you either hit or not into someone compatible making it a luck game, requiring lot of volume to get some points. You can start with passionate sex and just score the best partner in the world or you can start with friendship and never make it till some phase.",
">\n\nIs their proof because my evidence says every time u do that she cheats and you lose a good friend",
">\n\nI actually don't think this is as unpopular as you might think. I think at least some people looking for a steamy romance are not necessarily thinking about a life partner, which is totally ok. In the context of looking for a life partner, this seems pretty common.\nThat said, there are some cases where I'd strongly disagree. Dating allows you to filter people out who have definite life incompatibilities with you. Falling for your friends is great if your friend is compatible with you, but sometimes they're not. I've fallen in love with two close friends, neither who I ever would have gone on a date with (both of them fell for me back). In the end, the friendships turned toxic and fell apart because we wanted things from each other that we actually weren't willing to give, given what we wanted from life. I've honestly had much better luck falling in lust with someone, hanging out with them to see if we're baseline compatible, if not long term, and going from there. This isn't like a one-size-fits-all, but there are definite reasons to date strangers.",
">\n\nI’m in a 5 year relationship with someone who I was friends with. I knew him for like ten years now. I do disagree tho, we definitely had a honeymoon phase",
">\n\nNo. This type of shit is what leads mfs that you just want to be friends with to have some false ass hope for the future. I hate this and if someone just wants to be friends they just want to be friends. I'm not saying it never happens but 9/10 if you don't see them that way..... you never will",
">\n\nI started dating my now wife after we were friends for four years. Sparks are overrated.",
">\n\nI wasn't looking for a relationship. Eventually it just happened.",
">\n\nI fell for my husband after being friends for seven months. I had no initial attraction to him, we were just in the same field in doctoral school and interacted a lot. I was actually in another relationship when I first met him. It wasn’t until we worked closely together and got to know each other on a deeper level months later that a spark started to form. After all those months, I suddenly felt such a deep attraction to him I couldn’t ignore it. \nAll of my previous relationships were like that too. I have never felt instant attraction to any person. It always had to grow with time.",
">\n\nThat's how it worked out for me.",
">\n\nI already knew all of those things about my wife because I was working a crap job for low pay when we met. The entire reason I went back to school was for her. It still took four more years to finish my degree and I didn’t have very much money or time between work and school. She stuck with me through those hard times. I didn’t have to just be her friend but she definitely let it be known that she wouldn’t marry me until I finished college. :)",
">\n\nVery true in my case. I didn’t notice him for years. Then we were just friends. Then best friends. Then best friends that say “I love you” to each-other. But finally i resized my true feelings. Ive been with him 2 long years. I wish I loved him sooner because he’s amazing.",
">\n\nThey make for the most difficult breakups, too.",
">\n\nMaybe, but I dont ruin friendships cuz they are valuable so no.",
">\n\nThis is so true. Friends first! I met my fiance on Facebook through our college class group. I dm'd her first and we spoke for three months as really good friends before meeting in person in the fall. That first week we clicked and knew our intentions. We never expected to date. Fast forward 10 years later ( including 3 years of long distance), we have been living together for two years and get married in Oct. Til this day we love each other very much, and is because we see each other as best friends before partners.",
">\n\nBurying the lede, it’s just better than apps, which are fake as fuck and inflate your self worth.",
">\n\nTrue imo the best relationships are the ones where both partners fully trust and know each other's",
">\n\nI agree, but also because I cannot develop feelings or a spark for someone without knowing them for a long time first. I have never just met a person and instantly had feelings for them.",
">\n\nCompletely the opposite in my opinion. Getting to know someone and having instant sparks and slowly falling in love as you get to know more about them is the best feeling in the world. Often times friends first also break up its just a lot more traumatic and you run a lot more risks about breaking up your friend group and stuff like that.",
">\n\nI disagree. The worst relationship i had was with my best friend. She and i were so fucking toxic to each other, that when we broke up and still had to see each other (Same group of friends), we had to wait 5 years until we were ready to be friends again. \nTo all my fellow guys, don't date your female best friend, you'll end up losing a good friend",
">\n\nI think for some people it’s hard to break out of the mindset once you become friends that this person is meant for friendship. After categorizing some people as friends and others as potential love interests, it’s hard to break that boundary in your head.",
">\n\nIf the relationship ended as not platonic then it was never platonic",
">\n\nThe two best relationships I had were with people who we lived together first, became friends, and then lovers, and then partners. They were really sweet relationships and I hold them close to my heart. \nBecause of this, my rule of thumb is friends first, lovers second and it’s never failed me.",
">\n\nMy rule of thumb is the same, too. All for reasons outlined in this post.",
">\n\nYou are in the friend zone aren't you",
">\n\nStrong disagree. Platonic friendships lead to chemistry-less marriages. Was definitely not friends with my husband before we got married, fancied him too much and still do",
">\n\nThat big crazy love feeling is what attaches us to a person. It’s like a drug and our brain will remember what gave us that feeling while our hearts will tell the brain to keep pursing that person who gave us that good feeling, logical or not. When bad things keep happening in a relationship that good feeling gets over weighed by the bad and that this person is now seen as someone who causes bad feelings instead.. or danger in our brain. Some relationships work out some don’t, you have to remember we hear more about those that don’t then do.\nPeople who are strongly attracted to each other can’t be just friends, nature won’t allow it. They either stop being friends, set boundaries, or give in. I feel like those who started platonic friends means one usually likes the other more then the other does and is looking for security and safety more then chemistry and happiness.",
">\n\nNah, for some of us to get that “in love” feeling we have to know someone for a long time. I never just meet someone and feel anything for them. It took me seven months of friendship to fall for my now husband, but when I finally did, it was every bit as powerful and very much that “drug addicted spark” feeling that you are describing. So I think we are all just different with this.",
">\n\nTook y’all 7 months to give in is all I’m hearing. You felt connection towards each other.",
">\n\nNope, I legitimately was not interested in him in the beginning. I didn’t even find him physically appealing at first. Something changed once I started to interact more with him and got to know his mind over months.\nAnd every other relationship I’ve had has been the same. I have never once felt instant connection to a person. It always takes a long time for it to set in. I need that mental connection and build up.",
">\n\nThat’s still the same thing to me. you got to know him even as friends you developed feelings for him.",
">\n\nYes, but the point is that it happened after months of friendship first, not at the forefront. Which is why many people prefer to start platonically and let things develop.",
">\n\nI’m not sure this is an unpopular opinion….",
">\n\nIt neither popular nor unpopular. Some friendships work out romantically. Other people meet and they have been married 20+ years. No one is better",
">\n\nNah, all happy long-term couples I know started as a romantic relationship. I don't even know how you could have a long platonic friendship and then suddenly feel romantic love and sexual attraction if that wasn't there from the start. If there was romantic connection all along, then you were never friends, you were just taking it slow.",
">\n\nis it weird that I don't believe that relationship between partners can ever be 100% platonic? it is not to disagree with your point, but the initial interest into the engagement must be as least sexual or romantic at some point. It is not to say that it is all that simple, but being a man and having 24/7 urges makes me question dudes who are just friends with female/they them counterpart.",
">\n\nYour urges are entirely your own",
">\n\nyes but my point is that in the heart any interaction that extends to the friendship department among opposite genders are usually have at least of a pretext of a romantic/sexual interest.\nthe interplay of those tensions create the pretext for extending the relationship.\nit is not to say that while getting to know someone you might loose/ or lessen that desire and it can be replaced by the deep bond, but once that bond officially ends in sexual/romantic territory, you cannot agrue in good faith that you were \"just\" friends."
] |
>
We started as a one night stand, and met every day after, been together for 11 now, so I have to disagree lol. | [
"I was good friends with my husband for about 8 years before we started dating. I think we both just needed to grow up a bit. But when we told our friend group we started dating the general reactions was \"about time!\" So I guess it was obvious to everyone but us lol.",
">\n\nMe and my first wife were like rhat",
">\n\nThen what happened?",
">\n\nThen you get told \"I wish I met someone like you.\"",
">\n\nThey make for the most difficult breakups,",
">\n\nSometimes. A better phrase would be that the strongest romantic relationships are also the strongest friendships.\nAlso The honeymoon phase is all relationships. Friendships and lovers. It tends to stop in all relationship when kids get involved 😬",
">\n\nEh, I agree with OP and think it's unpopular because the number of people who meet this way is plummeting, so the acknowledgement makes those people feel insecure.\nOf course you can start a relationship romantically and have it remain successful indefinitely as long as you also build friendship along the way. But there are two key areas this method can never truly replicate:\n\n\nHaving your respect for someone develop 100% independently of your attraction to them. I know a fair number of couples that can't seem to untangle respect and attraction. So when their partner falls in attractiveness it also lowers their overall respect for them. Sometimes that tracks... But sometimes it doesn't (for example, after kids when both people are too tired muster much attraction). Eventually, it leads to problems.\n\n\nAccountability. When you meet through and share a community, there are repercussions for acting a fool. When your only connection to each other is your relationship, there is less incentive to remain civil because you won't be judged/punished by 3rd parties if you don't.\n\n\nIf you look at the complaints that GenZ and younger Millennials have about dating, a lot them can be summed up as \"I'm being treated like a commodity, not like a person.\" Having mutual social ties prevents a lot of that.\nI 100% agree with you about the Honeymoon phase though. After 3 years of being close friends, I started dating my now fiance. Strongest Honeymoon phase I've ever experienced, and also the longest - it's yet to end two years in (and we won't be having kids, so maybe it never will).",
">\n\nIf you meet somebody you’re attracted to, there is no reason you can’t build your romantic relationship along with your friendship. This is typically what i did in all of my relationships. If we couldn’t connect on a more in depth way than attraction, the relationship didn’t last long enough to even call it a relationship. \nA romantic relationship isn’t different than any other except romantic ones tend to involve people feeling more intimate with each other. But it’s the same as if you meet somebody you could never be attracted to. You get to know them. It’s all just regular relationship stuff. If you get into a relationship and don’t bond with that person, friendship or romantic or even family, it doesn’t matter. It’s going to be a fail",
">\n\nI met my wife in a bar. I was drunk as shit and my pickup line was \"You're cute, wanna make out?\"\nShe said \"hell no\", but I talked to her again the next day when I was sober and we hit it off instantly. \nI think the best relationships just don't involve the games, or one person chasing until the other finally settles and gives in.",
">\n\nThis is at least plausible. I agree that the strongest romantic relationships contain an element of robust friendship, but I'm not sure that you need to START like this first. It's possible to develop romance and friendship concurrently.",
">\n\n\nIt's possible to develop romance and friendship concurrently.\n\nI really think this is what happened between my wife and I. We met online gaming in 2000. That doesn't sound revolutinary by today's standards but then it was. We talked more and more and it just kind of developed that we were friends, then it moved to RL and not just games. We became best friends and lovers all at the same time. Been together ever since.",
">\n\n\nWe met online gaming in 2000. Been together ever since.\n\nDon't give redditors too much hope..\njk congrats!",
">\n\nLOL. It was a text based online trivia game. No photos no voice. Just text. You really get to know someone that way. No distractions.",
">\n\nAgreeable. I wouldnt say \"The strongest romantic relationships\" HAVE to start that way, but the ones that do tend to be strong romantic relationships.",
">\n\nI think you’re projecting. My 25 years-and-counting relationship with my wife started out on a foundation of raw, animalistic lust.",
">\n\nBut on the other hand there are plenty of people that are best friends, try to date and realize they have no romantic thing, and afterwards it's getting weird etc. \nYou need a romantic and friendship-base, if you want to stay happy togehter. But what comes first is basically irrelevant.",
">\n\nThat’s great since every time I’ve caught feelings for a friend I also lost them as a friend",
">\n\nThe trick is to not stare at them intently for too long at a time",
">\n\nPeople struggle with dating because of these types of opinions. There is no one way to develop a good relationship, there are many. And one way that works for some people can be the exact reason it fails for others. It depends on everyone involved.",
">\n\nTotally agree, I was friends with my wife for 2 years before we began dating. We will be having our 15th wedding anniversary in a couple weeks.",
">\n\nCongratulations! Yay for best friends!!",
">\n\nI sorta disagree, from personal experience.\nWhen I dated someone who I'd been friends with for years, it didn't turn out well. Yeah sure, I knew the bad and good things about them. But that's a double edged sword, because they figured that I would 'be okay with' the same things now that we were in a relationship. There was nothing new for me to learn about him and no bonding experiences that could help us know each other deeper/better, because we already knew each other incredibly well. He wouldn't shut up about his ex before or during our relationship. I gave him an ultimatum and he only continued. I broke up with him and then became an ex he won't shut up about. \nHowever, when I met my current long distance partner, we only knew each other a month before getting together, as there was relatively quick mutual attraction. Our relationship is now 5 years strong and learning new things about them is/has been a bonding experience that I didn't have with the aforementioned ex of mine.\nSo, I think this isn't true in all cases.",
">\n\nI think you don't mean the strongest but safest. All of the things you mentioned are found in long term partners of dating apps and such as well, but of course they also might not be.\nWhat you're describing is every long term relationship. The trust building, the friendship. And yes you don't always find that on dating apps vs being friends first. But dating apps offer you a large pool to chose from which is generally much larger than your friend group.\nBut you also have to remember the downsides of dating a friend too. If it doesn't work out what happens to your friendship or friend group? Were you just friends to get close enough to date because that's kinda shitty. Not to mention it's hard to know if they're actually like you or don't want to lose a friend so go along with it.",
">\n\nNot for me, I've been with A LOT of people, I've dated a few as well. My current gf and future wife met when she came into my shop to get piercings done with her friends, she called the shop afterwards and we had sex the next day. We have been dating ever since ( 3 years ) and she Is the first woman I trust completely and feel comfortable and know I want to spend my entire life with her, my last relationship was 9 years, we were friends before that, the one before that was 6 years, also friends before. So, no, there really is no rules for making the \"perfect relationship\". My \"one night stand\" turned into the woman im going to spend my life with. Seems others have pointed this out as well. This is projection",
">\n\nMy friend found his first girlfriend on Tindr and she was an abusive narcassist (he left her thank god)\nI was a platonic friend with my bf for 3 years before dating him, and we love each other so fucking much",
">\n\nGood for you!\nNonetheless, all scenarios exist around the same percentage:\n- starting as friends becoming good romantic\n- starting as friends and not being good romantic partners\n- starting as a date/lust and becoming good romantically\n- starting as a date/lust and it does not work out",
">\n\nNot the same percentage, OP is right that you'll find a fulfilling relationship more often in person and starting off as friends.",
">\n\nNot that I don’t believe you, but do you have a source?\nThe best relationships I know are from people in the middle: dating, never knew (or interacted with) each other but taking it slow. People who jump too quickly end up fighting, and the people who were friends for so long do manage, but at the end it seems they do divorce because the spark is gone\nAgain, got no proof for that. Just what it seems",
">\n\nYou're asking me for sauce and yet you have failed to provide sauce yourself for your claim that all relationship types are equally occuring. You can only make a subjetive opinion on the matter and our views will be completely different because experiences are uniaue to the individual.\nPeople who enter marriages quickly end up leaving soon because they failed to know each other better. But instead of dating, they could've literally been friends for a long time and that qualifies for 'getting to know each other' and so jumping into marriage might end up being long term. I guess its dofferent for everyone, but I always wanted to meet my partner in real life either at study or work because I know we would be similar on those grounds. I did and I'm happy, and I'm happy because I got to know him more in the safe friendzone. It was a slow process but it was worth it.",
">\n\nI somewhat agree, but not everyone is lucky enough to have or can stay in social circles where you find your s/o.",
">\n\nI think it kinda boils down to the question, what was first, egg or chicken. You won't have full romantic relationship without sex and the same goes for lust based ones only.\nThis is bit of a myth that you can grow yourself a partner, especially after teenage phase, so you either hit or not into someone compatible making it a luck game, requiring lot of volume to get some points. You can start with passionate sex and just score the best partner in the world or you can start with friendship and never make it till some phase.",
">\n\nIs their proof because my evidence says every time u do that she cheats and you lose a good friend",
">\n\nI actually don't think this is as unpopular as you might think. I think at least some people looking for a steamy romance are not necessarily thinking about a life partner, which is totally ok. In the context of looking for a life partner, this seems pretty common.\nThat said, there are some cases where I'd strongly disagree. Dating allows you to filter people out who have definite life incompatibilities with you. Falling for your friends is great if your friend is compatible with you, but sometimes they're not. I've fallen in love with two close friends, neither who I ever would have gone on a date with (both of them fell for me back). In the end, the friendships turned toxic and fell apart because we wanted things from each other that we actually weren't willing to give, given what we wanted from life. I've honestly had much better luck falling in lust with someone, hanging out with them to see if we're baseline compatible, if not long term, and going from there. This isn't like a one-size-fits-all, but there are definite reasons to date strangers.",
">\n\nI’m in a 5 year relationship with someone who I was friends with. I knew him for like ten years now. I do disagree tho, we definitely had a honeymoon phase",
">\n\nNo. This type of shit is what leads mfs that you just want to be friends with to have some false ass hope for the future. I hate this and if someone just wants to be friends they just want to be friends. I'm not saying it never happens but 9/10 if you don't see them that way..... you never will",
">\n\nI started dating my now wife after we were friends for four years. Sparks are overrated.",
">\n\nI wasn't looking for a relationship. Eventually it just happened.",
">\n\nI fell for my husband after being friends for seven months. I had no initial attraction to him, we were just in the same field in doctoral school and interacted a lot. I was actually in another relationship when I first met him. It wasn’t until we worked closely together and got to know each other on a deeper level months later that a spark started to form. After all those months, I suddenly felt such a deep attraction to him I couldn’t ignore it. \nAll of my previous relationships were like that too. I have never felt instant attraction to any person. It always had to grow with time.",
">\n\nThat's how it worked out for me.",
">\n\nI already knew all of those things about my wife because I was working a crap job for low pay when we met. The entire reason I went back to school was for her. It still took four more years to finish my degree and I didn’t have very much money or time between work and school. She stuck with me through those hard times. I didn’t have to just be her friend but she definitely let it be known that she wouldn’t marry me until I finished college. :)",
">\n\nVery true in my case. I didn’t notice him for years. Then we were just friends. Then best friends. Then best friends that say “I love you” to each-other. But finally i resized my true feelings. Ive been with him 2 long years. I wish I loved him sooner because he’s amazing.",
">\n\nThey make for the most difficult breakups, too.",
">\n\nMaybe, but I dont ruin friendships cuz they are valuable so no.",
">\n\nThis is so true. Friends first! I met my fiance on Facebook through our college class group. I dm'd her first and we spoke for three months as really good friends before meeting in person in the fall. That first week we clicked and knew our intentions. We never expected to date. Fast forward 10 years later ( including 3 years of long distance), we have been living together for two years and get married in Oct. Til this day we love each other very much, and is because we see each other as best friends before partners.",
">\n\nBurying the lede, it’s just better than apps, which are fake as fuck and inflate your self worth.",
">\n\nTrue imo the best relationships are the ones where both partners fully trust and know each other's",
">\n\nI agree, but also because I cannot develop feelings or a spark for someone without knowing them for a long time first. I have never just met a person and instantly had feelings for them.",
">\n\nCompletely the opposite in my opinion. Getting to know someone and having instant sparks and slowly falling in love as you get to know more about them is the best feeling in the world. Often times friends first also break up its just a lot more traumatic and you run a lot more risks about breaking up your friend group and stuff like that.",
">\n\nI disagree. The worst relationship i had was with my best friend. She and i were so fucking toxic to each other, that when we broke up and still had to see each other (Same group of friends), we had to wait 5 years until we were ready to be friends again. \nTo all my fellow guys, don't date your female best friend, you'll end up losing a good friend",
">\n\nI think for some people it’s hard to break out of the mindset once you become friends that this person is meant for friendship. After categorizing some people as friends and others as potential love interests, it’s hard to break that boundary in your head.",
">\n\nIf the relationship ended as not platonic then it was never platonic",
">\n\nThe two best relationships I had were with people who we lived together first, became friends, and then lovers, and then partners. They were really sweet relationships and I hold them close to my heart. \nBecause of this, my rule of thumb is friends first, lovers second and it’s never failed me.",
">\n\nMy rule of thumb is the same, too. All for reasons outlined in this post.",
">\n\nYou are in the friend zone aren't you",
">\n\nStrong disagree. Platonic friendships lead to chemistry-less marriages. Was definitely not friends with my husband before we got married, fancied him too much and still do",
">\n\nThat big crazy love feeling is what attaches us to a person. It’s like a drug and our brain will remember what gave us that feeling while our hearts will tell the brain to keep pursing that person who gave us that good feeling, logical or not. When bad things keep happening in a relationship that good feeling gets over weighed by the bad and that this person is now seen as someone who causes bad feelings instead.. or danger in our brain. Some relationships work out some don’t, you have to remember we hear more about those that don’t then do.\nPeople who are strongly attracted to each other can’t be just friends, nature won’t allow it. They either stop being friends, set boundaries, or give in. I feel like those who started platonic friends means one usually likes the other more then the other does and is looking for security and safety more then chemistry and happiness.",
">\n\nNah, for some of us to get that “in love” feeling we have to know someone for a long time. I never just meet someone and feel anything for them. It took me seven months of friendship to fall for my now husband, but when I finally did, it was every bit as powerful and very much that “drug addicted spark” feeling that you are describing. So I think we are all just different with this.",
">\n\nTook y’all 7 months to give in is all I’m hearing. You felt connection towards each other.",
">\n\nNope, I legitimately was not interested in him in the beginning. I didn’t even find him physically appealing at first. Something changed once I started to interact more with him and got to know his mind over months.\nAnd every other relationship I’ve had has been the same. I have never once felt instant connection to a person. It always takes a long time for it to set in. I need that mental connection and build up.",
">\n\nThat’s still the same thing to me. you got to know him even as friends you developed feelings for him.",
">\n\nYes, but the point is that it happened after months of friendship first, not at the forefront. Which is why many people prefer to start platonically and let things develop.",
">\n\nI’m not sure this is an unpopular opinion….",
">\n\nIt neither popular nor unpopular. Some friendships work out romantically. Other people meet and they have been married 20+ years. No one is better",
">\n\nNah, all happy long-term couples I know started as a romantic relationship. I don't even know how you could have a long platonic friendship and then suddenly feel romantic love and sexual attraction if that wasn't there from the start. If there was romantic connection all along, then you were never friends, you were just taking it slow.",
">\n\nis it weird that I don't believe that relationship between partners can ever be 100% platonic? it is not to disagree with your point, but the initial interest into the engagement must be as least sexual or romantic at some point. It is not to say that it is all that simple, but being a man and having 24/7 urges makes me question dudes who are just friends with female/they them counterpart.",
">\n\nYour urges are entirely your own",
">\n\nyes but my point is that in the heart any interaction that extends to the friendship department among opposite genders are usually have at least of a pretext of a romantic/sexual interest.\nthe interplay of those tensions create the pretext for extending the relationship.\nit is not to say that while getting to know someone you might loose/ or lessen that desire and it can be replaced by the deep bond, but once that bond officially ends in sexual/romantic territory, you cannot agrue in good faith that you were \"just\" friends.",
">\n\nCommon sense, not an unpopular opinion. Love at first sight is not that common, and often doesn't lead to anything anyway. You have to get to know a person before a romance can really start."
] |
>
11 days? I'm impressed
/s ik what you meant | [
"I was good friends with my husband for about 8 years before we started dating. I think we both just needed to grow up a bit. But when we told our friend group we started dating the general reactions was \"about time!\" So I guess it was obvious to everyone but us lol.",
">\n\nMe and my first wife were like rhat",
">\n\nThen what happened?",
">\n\nThen you get told \"I wish I met someone like you.\"",
">\n\nThey make for the most difficult breakups,",
">\n\nSometimes. A better phrase would be that the strongest romantic relationships are also the strongest friendships.\nAlso The honeymoon phase is all relationships. Friendships and lovers. It tends to stop in all relationship when kids get involved 😬",
">\n\nEh, I agree with OP and think it's unpopular because the number of people who meet this way is plummeting, so the acknowledgement makes those people feel insecure.\nOf course you can start a relationship romantically and have it remain successful indefinitely as long as you also build friendship along the way. But there are two key areas this method can never truly replicate:\n\n\nHaving your respect for someone develop 100% independently of your attraction to them. I know a fair number of couples that can't seem to untangle respect and attraction. So when their partner falls in attractiveness it also lowers their overall respect for them. Sometimes that tracks... But sometimes it doesn't (for example, after kids when both people are too tired muster much attraction). Eventually, it leads to problems.\n\n\nAccountability. When you meet through and share a community, there are repercussions for acting a fool. When your only connection to each other is your relationship, there is less incentive to remain civil because you won't be judged/punished by 3rd parties if you don't.\n\n\nIf you look at the complaints that GenZ and younger Millennials have about dating, a lot them can be summed up as \"I'm being treated like a commodity, not like a person.\" Having mutual social ties prevents a lot of that.\nI 100% agree with you about the Honeymoon phase though. After 3 years of being close friends, I started dating my now fiance. Strongest Honeymoon phase I've ever experienced, and also the longest - it's yet to end two years in (and we won't be having kids, so maybe it never will).",
">\n\nIf you meet somebody you’re attracted to, there is no reason you can’t build your romantic relationship along with your friendship. This is typically what i did in all of my relationships. If we couldn’t connect on a more in depth way than attraction, the relationship didn’t last long enough to even call it a relationship. \nA romantic relationship isn’t different than any other except romantic ones tend to involve people feeling more intimate with each other. But it’s the same as if you meet somebody you could never be attracted to. You get to know them. It’s all just regular relationship stuff. If you get into a relationship and don’t bond with that person, friendship or romantic or even family, it doesn’t matter. It’s going to be a fail",
">\n\nI met my wife in a bar. I was drunk as shit and my pickup line was \"You're cute, wanna make out?\"\nShe said \"hell no\", but I talked to her again the next day when I was sober and we hit it off instantly. \nI think the best relationships just don't involve the games, or one person chasing until the other finally settles and gives in.",
">\n\nThis is at least plausible. I agree that the strongest romantic relationships contain an element of robust friendship, but I'm not sure that you need to START like this first. It's possible to develop romance and friendship concurrently.",
">\n\n\nIt's possible to develop romance and friendship concurrently.\n\nI really think this is what happened between my wife and I. We met online gaming in 2000. That doesn't sound revolutinary by today's standards but then it was. We talked more and more and it just kind of developed that we were friends, then it moved to RL and not just games. We became best friends and lovers all at the same time. Been together ever since.",
">\n\n\nWe met online gaming in 2000. Been together ever since.\n\nDon't give redditors too much hope..\njk congrats!",
">\n\nLOL. It was a text based online trivia game. No photos no voice. Just text. You really get to know someone that way. No distractions.",
">\n\nAgreeable. I wouldnt say \"The strongest romantic relationships\" HAVE to start that way, but the ones that do tend to be strong romantic relationships.",
">\n\nI think you’re projecting. My 25 years-and-counting relationship with my wife started out on a foundation of raw, animalistic lust.",
">\n\nBut on the other hand there are plenty of people that are best friends, try to date and realize they have no romantic thing, and afterwards it's getting weird etc. \nYou need a romantic and friendship-base, if you want to stay happy togehter. But what comes first is basically irrelevant.",
">\n\nThat’s great since every time I’ve caught feelings for a friend I also lost them as a friend",
">\n\nThe trick is to not stare at them intently for too long at a time",
">\n\nPeople struggle with dating because of these types of opinions. There is no one way to develop a good relationship, there are many. And one way that works for some people can be the exact reason it fails for others. It depends on everyone involved.",
">\n\nTotally agree, I was friends with my wife for 2 years before we began dating. We will be having our 15th wedding anniversary in a couple weeks.",
">\n\nCongratulations! Yay for best friends!!",
">\n\nI sorta disagree, from personal experience.\nWhen I dated someone who I'd been friends with for years, it didn't turn out well. Yeah sure, I knew the bad and good things about them. But that's a double edged sword, because they figured that I would 'be okay with' the same things now that we were in a relationship. There was nothing new for me to learn about him and no bonding experiences that could help us know each other deeper/better, because we already knew each other incredibly well. He wouldn't shut up about his ex before or during our relationship. I gave him an ultimatum and he only continued. I broke up with him and then became an ex he won't shut up about. \nHowever, when I met my current long distance partner, we only knew each other a month before getting together, as there was relatively quick mutual attraction. Our relationship is now 5 years strong and learning new things about them is/has been a bonding experience that I didn't have with the aforementioned ex of mine.\nSo, I think this isn't true in all cases.",
">\n\nI think you don't mean the strongest but safest. All of the things you mentioned are found in long term partners of dating apps and such as well, but of course they also might not be.\nWhat you're describing is every long term relationship. The trust building, the friendship. And yes you don't always find that on dating apps vs being friends first. But dating apps offer you a large pool to chose from which is generally much larger than your friend group.\nBut you also have to remember the downsides of dating a friend too. If it doesn't work out what happens to your friendship or friend group? Were you just friends to get close enough to date because that's kinda shitty. Not to mention it's hard to know if they're actually like you or don't want to lose a friend so go along with it.",
">\n\nNot for me, I've been with A LOT of people, I've dated a few as well. My current gf and future wife met when she came into my shop to get piercings done with her friends, she called the shop afterwards and we had sex the next day. We have been dating ever since ( 3 years ) and she Is the first woman I trust completely and feel comfortable and know I want to spend my entire life with her, my last relationship was 9 years, we were friends before that, the one before that was 6 years, also friends before. So, no, there really is no rules for making the \"perfect relationship\". My \"one night stand\" turned into the woman im going to spend my life with. Seems others have pointed this out as well. This is projection",
">\n\nMy friend found his first girlfriend on Tindr and she was an abusive narcassist (he left her thank god)\nI was a platonic friend with my bf for 3 years before dating him, and we love each other so fucking much",
">\n\nGood for you!\nNonetheless, all scenarios exist around the same percentage:\n- starting as friends becoming good romantic\n- starting as friends and not being good romantic partners\n- starting as a date/lust and becoming good romantically\n- starting as a date/lust and it does not work out",
">\n\nNot the same percentage, OP is right that you'll find a fulfilling relationship more often in person and starting off as friends.",
">\n\nNot that I don’t believe you, but do you have a source?\nThe best relationships I know are from people in the middle: dating, never knew (or interacted with) each other but taking it slow. People who jump too quickly end up fighting, and the people who were friends for so long do manage, but at the end it seems they do divorce because the spark is gone\nAgain, got no proof for that. Just what it seems",
">\n\nYou're asking me for sauce and yet you have failed to provide sauce yourself for your claim that all relationship types are equally occuring. You can only make a subjetive opinion on the matter and our views will be completely different because experiences are uniaue to the individual.\nPeople who enter marriages quickly end up leaving soon because they failed to know each other better. But instead of dating, they could've literally been friends for a long time and that qualifies for 'getting to know each other' and so jumping into marriage might end up being long term. I guess its dofferent for everyone, but I always wanted to meet my partner in real life either at study or work because I know we would be similar on those grounds. I did and I'm happy, and I'm happy because I got to know him more in the safe friendzone. It was a slow process but it was worth it.",
">\n\nI somewhat agree, but not everyone is lucky enough to have or can stay in social circles where you find your s/o.",
">\n\nI think it kinda boils down to the question, what was first, egg or chicken. You won't have full romantic relationship without sex and the same goes for lust based ones only.\nThis is bit of a myth that you can grow yourself a partner, especially after teenage phase, so you either hit or not into someone compatible making it a luck game, requiring lot of volume to get some points. You can start with passionate sex and just score the best partner in the world or you can start with friendship and never make it till some phase.",
">\n\nIs their proof because my evidence says every time u do that she cheats and you lose a good friend",
">\n\nI actually don't think this is as unpopular as you might think. I think at least some people looking for a steamy romance are not necessarily thinking about a life partner, which is totally ok. In the context of looking for a life partner, this seems pretty common.\nThat said, there are some cases where I'd strongly disagree. Dating allows you to filter people out who have definite life incompatibilities with you. Falling for your friends is great if your friend is compatible with you, but sometimes they're not. I've fallen in love with two close friends, neither who I ever would have gone on a date with (both of them fell for me back). In the end, the friendships turned toxic and fell apart because we wanted things from each other that we actually weren't willing to give, given what we wanted from life. I've honestly had much better luck falling in lust with someone, hanging out with them to see if we're baseline compatible, if not long term, and going from there. This isn't like a one-size-fits-all, but there are definite reasons to date strangers.",
">\n\nI’m in a 5 year relationship with someone who I was friends with. I knew him for like ten years now. I do disagree tho, we definitely had a honeymoon phase",
">\n\nNo. This type of shit is what leads mfs that you just want to be friends with to have some false ass hope for the future. I hate this and if someone just wants to be friends they just want to be friends. I'm not saying it never happens but 9/10 if you don't see them that way..... you never will",
">\n\nI started dating my now wife after we were friends for four years. Sparks are overrated.",
">\n\nI wasn't looking for a relationship. Eventually it just happened.",
">\n\nI fell for my husband after being friends for seven months. I had no initial attraction to him, we were just in the same field in doctoral school and interacted a lot. I was actually in another relationship when I first met him. It wasn’t until we worked closely together and got to know each other on a deeper level months later that a spark started to form. After all those months, I suddenly felt such a deep attraction to him I couldn’t ignore it. \nAll of my previous relationships were like that too. I have never felt instant attraction to any person. It always had to grow with time.",
">\n\nThat's how it worked out for me.",
">\n\nI already knew all of those things about my wife because I was working a crap job for low pay when we met. The entire reason I went back to school was for her. It still took four more years to finish my degree and I didn’t have very much money or time between work and school. She stuck with me through those hard times. I didn’t have to just be her friend but she definitely let it be known that she wouldn’t marry me until I finished college. :)",
">\n\nVery true in my case. I didn’t notice him for years. Then we were just friends. Then best friends. Then best friends that say “I love you” to each-other. But finally i resized my true feelings. Ive been with him 2 long years. I wish I loved him sooner because he’s amazing.",
">\n\nThey make for the most difficult breakups, too.",
">\n\nMaybe, but I dont ruin friendships cuz they are valuable so no.",
">\n\nThis is so true. Friends first! I met my fiance on Facebook through our college class group. I dm'd her first and we spoke for three months as really good friends before meeting in person in the fall. That first week we clicked and knew our intentions. We never expected to date. Fast forward 10 years later ( including 3 years of long distance), we have been living together for two years and get married in Oct. Til this day we love each other very much, and is because we see each other as best friends before partners.",
">\n\nBurying the lede, it’s just better than apps, which are fake as fuck and inflate your self worth.",
">\n\nTrue imo the best relationships are the ones where both partners fully trust and know each other's",
">\n\nI agree, but also because I cannot develop feelings or a spark for someone without knowing them for a long time first. I have never just met a person and instantly had feelings for them.",
">\n\nCompletely the opposite in my opinion. Getting to know someone and having instant sparks and slowly falling in love as you get to know more about them is the best feeling in the world. Often times friends first also break up its just a lot more traumatic and you run a lot more risks about breaking up your friend group and stuff like that.",
">\n\nI disagree. The worst relationship i had was with my best friend. She and i were so fucking toxic to each other, that when we broke up and still had to see each other (Same group of friends), we had to wait 5 years until we were ready to be friends again. \nTo all my fellow guys, don't date your female best friend, you'll end up losing a good friend",
">\n\nI think for some people it’s hard to break out of the mindset once you become friends that this person is meant for friendship. After categorizing some people as friends and others as potential love interests, it’s hard to break that boundary in your head.",
">\n\nIf the relationship ended as not platonic then it was never platonic",
">\n\nThe two best relationships I had were with people who we lived together first, became friends, and then lovers, and then partners. They were really sweet relationships and I hold them close to my heart. \nBecause of this, my rule of thumb is friends first, lovers second and it’s never failed me.",
">\n\nMy rule of thumb is the same, too. All for reasons outlined in this post.",
">\n\nYou are in the friend zone aren't you",
">\n\nStrong disagree. Platonic friendships lead to chemistry-less marriages. Was definitely not friends with my husband before we got married, fancied him too much and still do",
">\n\nThat big crazy love feeling is what attaches us to a person. It’s like a drug and our brain will remember what gave us that feeling while our hearts will tell the brain to keep pursing that person who gave us that good feeling, logical or not. When bad things keep happening in a relationship that good feeling gets over weighed by the bad and that this person is now seen as someone who causes bad feelings instead.. or danger in our brain. Some relationships work out some don’t, you have to remember we hear more about those that don’t then do.\nPeople who are strongly attracted to each other can’t be just friends, nature won’t allow it. They either stop being friends, set boundaries, or give in. I feel like those who started platonic friends means one usually likes the other more then the other does and is looking for security and safety more then chemistry and happiness.",
">\n\nNah, for some of us to get that “in love” feeling we have to know someone for a long time. I never just meet someone and feel anything for them. It took me seven months of friendship to fall for my now husband, but when I finally did, it was every bit as powerful and very much that “drug addicted spark” feeling that you are describing. So I think we are all just different with this.",
">\n\nTook y’all 7 months to give in is all I’m hearing. You felt connection towards each other.",
">\n\nNope, I legitimately was not interested in him in the beginning. I didn’t even find him physically appealing at first. Something changed once I started to interact more with him and got to know his mind over months.\nAnd every other relationship I’ve had has been the same. I have never once felt instant connection to a person. It always takes a long time for it to set in. I need that mental connection and build up.",
">\n\nThat’s still the same thing to me. you got to know him even as friends you developed feelings for him.",
">\n\nYes, but the point is that it happened after months of friendship first, not at the forefront. Which is why many people prefer to start platonically and let things develop.",
">\n\nI’m not sure this is an unpopular opinion….",
">\n\nIt neither popular nor unpopular. Some friendships work out romantically. Other people meet and they have been married 20+ years. No one is better",
">\n\nNah, all happy long-term couples I know started as a romantic relationship. I don't even know how you could have a long platonic friendship and then suddenly feel romantic love and sexual attraction if that wasn't there from the start. If there was romantic connection all along, then you were never friends, you were just taking it slow.",
">\n\nis it weird that I don't believe that relationship between partners can ever be 100% platonic? it is not to disagree with your point, but the initial interest into the engagement must be as least sexual or romantic at some point. It is not to say that it is all that simple, but being a man and having 24/7 urges makes me question dudes who are just friends with female/they them counterpart.",
">\n\nYour urges are entirely your own",
">\n\nyes but my point is that in the heart any interaction that extends to the friendship department among opposite genders are usually have at least of a pretext of a romantic/sexual interest.\nthe interplay of those tensions create the pretext for extending the relationship.\nit is not to say that while getting to know someone you might loose/ or lessen that desire and it can be replaced by the deep bond, but once that bond officially ends in sexual/romantic territory, you cannot agrue in good faith that you were \"just\" friends.",
">\n\nCommon sense, not an unpopular opinion. Love at first sight is not that common, and often doesn't lead to anything anyway. You have to get to know a person before a romance can really start.",
">\n\nWe started as a one night stand, and met every day after, been together for 11 now, so I have to disagree lol."
] |
>
Aha, nice one. Yeah I should have wrote years | [
"I was good friends with my husband for about 8 years before we started dating. I think we both just needed to grow up a bit. But when we told our friend group we started dating the general reactions was \"about time!\" So I guess it was obvious to everyone but us lol.",
">\n\nMe and my first wife were like rhat",
">\n\nThen what happened?",
">\n\nThen you get told \"I wish I met someone like you.\"",
">\n\nThey make for the most difficult breakups,",
">\n\nSometimes. A better phrase would be that the strongest romantic relationships are also the strongest friendships.\nAlso The honeymoon phase is all relationships. Friendships and lovers. It tends to stop in all relationship when kids get involved 😬",
">\n\nEh, I agree with OP and think it's unpopular because the number of people who meet this way is plummeting, so the acknowledgement makes those people feel insecure.\nOf course you can start a relationship romantically and have it remain successful indefinitely as long as you also build friendship along the way. But there are two key areas this method can never truly replicate:\n\n\nHaving your respect for someone develop 100% independently of your attraction to them. I know a fair number of couples that can't seem to untangle respect and attraction. So when their partner falls in attractiveness it also lowers their overall respect for them. Sometimes that tracks... But sometimes it doesn't (for example, after kids when both people are too tired muster much attraction). Eventually, it leads to problems.\n\n\nAccountability. When you meet through and share a community, there are repercussions for acting a fool. When your only connection to each other is your relationship, there is less incentive to remain civil because you won't be judged/punished by 3rd parties if you don't.\n\n\nIf you look at the complaints that GenZ and younger Millennials have about dating, a lot them can be summed up as \"I'm being treated like a commodity, not like a person.\" Having mutual social ties prevents a lot of that.\nI 100% agree with you about the Honeymoon phase though. After 3 years of being close friends, I started dating my now fiance. Strongest Honeymoon phase I've ever experienced, and also the longest - it's yet to end two years in (and we won't be having kids, so maybe it never will).",
">\n\nIf you meet somebody you’re attracted to, there is no reason you can’t build your romantic relationship along with your friendship. This is typically what i did in all of my relationships. If we couldn’t connect on a more in depth way than attraction, the relationship didn’t last long enough to even call it a relationship. \nA romantic relationship isn’t different than any other except romantic ones tend to involve people feeling more intimate with each other. But it’s the same as if you meet somebody you could never be attracted to. You get to know them. It’s all just regular relationship stuff. If you get into a relationship and don’t bond with that person, friendship or romantic or even family, it doesn’t matter. It’s going to be a fail",
">\n\nI met my wife in a bar. I was drunk as shit and my pickup line was \"You're cute, wanna make out?\"\nShe said \"hell no\", but I talked to her again the next day when I was sober and we hit it off instantly. \nI think the best relationships just don't involve the games, or one person chasing until the other finally settles and gives in.",
">\n\nThis is at least plausible. I agree that the strongest romantic relationships contain an element of robust friendship, but I'm not sure that you need to START like this first. It's possible to develop romance and friendship concurrently.",
">\n\n\nIt's possible to develop romance and friendship concurrently.\n\nI really think this is what happened between my wife and I. We met online gaming in 2000. That doesn't sound revolutinary by today's standards but then it was. We talked more and more and it just kind of developed that we were friends, then it moved to RL and not just games. We became best friends and lovers all at the same time. Been together ever since.",
">\n\n\nWe met online gaming in 2000. Been together ever since.\n\nDon't give redditors too much hope..\njk congrats!",
">\n\nLOL. It was a text based online trivia game. No photos no voice. Just text. You really get to know someone that way. No distractions.",
">\n\nAgreeable. I wouldnt say \"The strongest romantic relationships\" HAVE to start that way, but the ones that do tend to be strong romantic relationships.",
">\n\nI think you’re projecting. My 25 years-and-counting relationship with my wife started out on a foundation of raw, animalistic lust.",
">\n\nBut on the other hand there are plenty of people that are best friends, try to date and realize they have no romantic thing, and afterwards it's getting weird etc. \nYou need a romantic and friendship-base, if you want to stay happy togehter. But what comes first is basically irrelevant.",
">\n\nThat’s great since every time I’ve caught feelings for a friend I also lost them as a friend",
">\n\nThe trick is to not stare at them intently for too long at a time",
">\n\nPeople struggle with dating because of these types of opinions. There is no one way to develop a good relationship, there are many. And one way that works for some people can be the exact reason it fails for others. It depends on everyone involved.",
">\n\nTotally agree, I was friends with my wife for 2 years before we began dating. We will be having our 15th wedding anniversary in a couple weeks.",
">\n\nCongratulations! Yay for best friends!!",
">\n\nI sorta disagree, from personal experience.\nWhen I dated someone who I'd been friends with for years, it didn't turn out well. Yeah sure, I knew the bad and good things about them. But that's a double edged sword, because they figured that I would 'be okay with' the same things now that we were in a relationship. There was nothing new for me to learn about him and no bonding experiences that could help us know each other deeper/better, because we already knew each other incredibly well. He wouldn't shut up about his ex before or during our relationship. I gave him an ultimatum and he only continued. I broke up with him and then became an ex he won't shut up about. \nHowever, when I met my current long distance partner, we only knew each other a month before getting together, as there was relatively quick mutual attraction. Our relationship is now 5 years strong and learning new things about them is/has been a bonding experience that I didn't have with the aforementioned ex of mine.\nSo, I think this isn't true in all cases.",
">\n\nI think you don't mean the strongest but safest. All of the things you mentioned are found in long term partners of dating apps and such as well, but of course they also might not be.\nWhat you're describing is every long term relationship. The trust building, the friendship. And yes you don't always find that on dating apps vs being friends first. But dating apps offer you a large pool to chose from which is generally much larger than your friend group.\nBut you also have to remember the downsides of dating a friend too. If it doesn't work out what happens to your friendship or friend group? Were you just friends to get close enough to date because that's kinda shitty. Not to mention it's hard to know if they're actually like you or don't want to lose a friend so go along with it.",
">\n\nNot for me, I've been with A LOT of people, I've dated a few as well. My current gf and future wife met when she came into my shop to get piercings done with her friends, she called the shop afterwards and we had sex the next day. We have been dating ever since ( 3 years ) and she Is the first woman I trust completely and feel comfortable and know I want to spend my entire life with her, my last relationship was 9 years, we were friends before that, the one before that was 6 years, also friends before. So, no, there really is no rules for making the \"perfect relationship\". My \"one night stand\" turned into the woman im going to spend my life with. Seems others have pointed this out as well. This is projection",
">\n\nMy friend found his first girlfriend on Tindr and she was an abusive narcassist (he left her thank god)\nI was a platonic friend with my bf for 3 years before dating him, and we love each other so fucking much",
">\n\nGood for you!\nNonetheless, all scenarios exist around the same percentage:\n- starting as friends becoming good romantic\n- starting as friends and not being good romantic partners\n- starting as a date/lust and becoming good romantically\n- starting as a date/lust and it does not work out",
">\n\nNot the same percentage, OP is right that you'll find a fulfilling relationship more often in person and starting off as friends.",
">\n\nNot that I don’t believe you, but do you have a source?\nThe best relationships I know are from people in the middle: dating, never knew (or interacted with) each other but taking it slow. People who jump too quickly end up fighting, and the people who were friends for so long do manage, but at the end it seems they do divorce because the spark is gone\nAgain, got no proof for that. Just what it seems",
">\n\nYou're asking me for sauce and yet you have failed to provide sauce yourself for your claim that all relationship types are equally occuring. You can only make a subjetive opinion on the matter and our views will be completely different because experiences are uniaue to the individual.\nPeople who enter marriages quickly end up leaving soon because they failed to know each other better. But instead of dating, they could've literally been friends for a long time and that qualifies for 'getting to know each other' and so jumping into marriage might end up being long term. I guess its dofferent for everyone, but I always wanted to meet my partner in real life either at study or work because I know we would be similar on those grounds. I did and I'm happy, and I'm happy because I got to know him more in the safe friendzone. It was a slow process but it was worth it.",
">\n\nI somewhat agree, but not everyone is lucky enough to have or can stay in social circles where you find your s/o.",
">\n\nI think it kinda boils down to the question, what was first, egg or chicken. You won't have full romantic relationship without sex and the same goes for lust based ones only.\nThis is bit of a myth that you can grow yourself a partner, especially after teenage phase, so you either hit or not into someone compatible making it a luck game, requiring lot of volume to get some points. You can start with passionate sex and just score the best partner in the world or you can start with friendship and never make it till some phase.",
">\n\nIs their proof because my evidence says every time u do that she cheats and you lose a good friend",
">\n\nI actually don't think this is as unpopular as you might think. I think at least some people looking for a steamy romance are not necessarily thinking about a life partner, which is totally ok. In the context of looking for a life partner, this seems pretty common.\nThat said, there are some cases where I'd strongly disagree. Dating allows you to filter people out who have definite life incompatibilities with you. Falling for your friends is great if your friend is compatible with you, but sometimes they're not. I've fallen in love with two close friends, neither who I ever would have gone on a date with (both of them fell for me back). In the end, the friendships turned toxic and fell apart because we wanted things from each other that we actually weren't willing to give, given what we wanted from life. I've honestly had much better luck falling in lust with someone, hanging out with them to see if we're baseline compatible, if not long term, and going from there. This isn't like a one-size-fits-all, but there are definite reasons to date strangers.",
">\n\nI’m in a 5 year relationship with someone who I was friends with. I knew him for like ten years now. I do disagree tho, we definitely had a honeymoon phase",
">\n\nNo. This type of shit is what leads mfs that you just want to be friends with to have some false ass hope for the future. I hate this and if someone just wants to be friends they just want to be friends. I'm not saying it never happens but 9/10 if you don't see them that way..... you never will",
">\n\nI started dating my now wife after we were friends for four years. Sparks are overrated.",
">\n\nI wasn't looking for a relationship. Eventually it just happened.",
">\n\nI fell for my husband after being friends for seven months. I had no initial attraction to him, we were just in the same field in doctoral school and interacted a lot. I was actually in another relationship when I first met him. It wasn’t until we worked closely together and got to know each other on a deeper level months later that a spark started to form. After all those months, I suddenly felt such a deep attraction to him I couldn’t ignore it. \nAll of my previous relationships were like that too. I have never felt instant attraction to any person. It always had to grow with time.",
">\n\nThat's how it worked out for me.",
">\n\nI already knew all of those things about my wife because I was working a crap job for low pay when we met. The entire reason I went back to school was for her. It still took four more years to finish my degree and I didn’t have very much money or time between work and school. She stuck with me through those hard times. I didn’t have to just be her friend but she definitely let it be known that she wouldn’t marry me until I finished college. :)",
">\n\nVery true in my case. I didn’t notice him for years. Then we were just friends. Then best friends. Then best friends that say “I love you” to each-other. But finally i resized my true feelings. Ive been with him 2 long years. I wish I loved him sooner because he’s amazing.",
">\n\nThey make for the most difficult breakups, too.",
">\n\nMaybe, but I dont ruin friendships cuz they are valuable so no.",
">\n\nThis is so true. Friends first! I met my fiance on Facebook through our college class group. I dm'd her first and we spoke for three months as really good friends before meeting in person in the fall. That first week we clicked and knew our intentions. We never expected to date. Fast forward 10 years later ( including 3 years of long distance), we have been living together for two years and get married in Oct. Til this day we love each other very much, and is because we see each other as best friends before partners.",
">\n\nBurying the lede, it’s just better than apps, which are fake as fuck and inflate your self worth.",
">\n\nTrue imo the best relationships are the ones where both partners fully trust and know each other's",
">\n\nI agree, but also because I cannot develop feelings or a spark for someone without knowing them for a long time first. I have never just met a person and instantly had feelings for them.",
">\n\nCompletely the opposite in my opinion. Getting to know someone and having instant sparks and slowly falling in love as you get to know more about them is the best feeling in the world. Often times friends first also break up its just a lot more traumatic and you run a lot more risks about breaking up your friend group and stuff like that.",
">\n\nI disagree. The worst relationship i had was with my best friend. She and i were so fucking toxic to each other, that when we broke up and still had to see each other (Same group of friends), we had to wait 5 years until we were ready to be friends again. \nTo all my fellow guys, don't date your female best friend, you'll end up losing a good friend",
">\n\nI think for some people it’s hard to break out of the mindset once you become friends that this person is meant for friendship. After categorizing some people as friends and others as potential love interests, it’s hard to break that boundary in your head.",
">\n\nIf the relationship ended as not platonic then it was never platonic",
">\n\nThe two best relationships I had were with people who we lived together first, became friends, and then lovers, and then partners. They were really sweet relationships and I hold them close to my heart. \nBecause of this, my rule of thumb is friends first, lovers second and it’s never failed me.",
">\n\nMy rule of thumb is the same, too. All for reasons outlined in this post.",
">\n\nYou are in the friend zone aren't you",
">\n\nStrong disagree. Platonic friendships lead to chemistry-less marriages. Was definitely not friends with my husband before we got married, fancied him too much and still do",
">\n\nThat big crazy love feeling is what attaches us to a person. It’s like a drug and our brain will remember what gave us that feeling while our hearts will tell the brain to keep pursing that person who gave us that good feeling, logical or not. When bad things keep happening in a relationship that good feeling gets over weighed by the bad and that this person is now seen as someone who causes bad feelings instead.. or danger in our brain. Some relationships work out some don’t, you have to remember we hear more about those that don’t then do.\nPeople who are strongly attracted to each other can’t be just friends, nature won’t allow it. They either stop being friends, set boundaries, or give in. I feel like those who started platonic friends means one usually likes the other more then the other does and is looking for security and safety more then chemistry and happiness.",
">\n\nNah, for some of us to get that “in love” feeling we have to know someone for a long time. I never just meet someone and feel anything for them. It took me seven months of friendship to fall for my now husband, but when I finally did, it was every bit as powerful and very much that “drug addicted spark” feeling that you are describing. So I think we are all just different with this.",
">\n\nTook y’all 7 months to give in is all I’m hearing. You felt connection towards each other.",
">\n\nNope, I legitimately was not interested in him in the beginning. I didn’t even find him physically appealing at first. Something changed once I started to interact more with him and got to know his mind over months.\nAnd every other relationship I’ve had has been the same. I have never once felt instant connection to a person. It always takes a long time for it to set in. I need that mental connection and build up.",
">\n\nThat’s still the same thing to me. you got to know him even as friends you developed feelings for him.",
">\n\nYes, but the point is that it happened after months of friendship first, not at the forefront. Which is why many people prefer to start platonically and let things develop.",
">\n\nI’m not sure this is an unpopular opinion….",
">\n\nIt neither popular nor unpopular. Some friendships work out romantically. Other people meet and they have been married 20+ years. No one is better",
">\n\nNah, all happy long-term couples I know started as a romantic relationship. I don't even know how you could have a long platonic friendship and then suddenly feel romantic love and sexual attraction if that wasn't there from the start. If there was romantic connection all along, then you were never friends, you were just taking it slow.",
">\n\nis it weird that I don't believe that relationship between partners can ever be 100% platonic? it is not to disagree with your point, but the initial interest into the engagement must be as least sexual or romantic at some point. It is not to say that it is all that simple, but being a man and having 24/7 urges makes me question dudes who are just friends with female/they them counterpart.",
">\n\nYour urges are entirely your own",
">\n\nyes but my point is that in the heart any interaction that extends to the friendship department among opposite genders are usually have at least of a pretext of a romantic/sexual interest.\nthe interplay of those tensions create the pretext for extending the relationship.\nit is not to say that while getting to know someone you might loose/ or lessen that desire and it can be replaced by the deep bond, but once that bond officially ends in sexual/romantic territory, you cannot agrue in good faith that you were \"just\" friends.",
">\n\nCommon sense, not an unpopular opinion. Love at first sight is not that common, and often doesn't lead to anything anyway. You have to get to know a person before a romance can really start.",
">\n\nWe started as a one night stand, and met every day after, been together for 11 now, so I have to disagree lol.",
">\n\n11 days? I'm impressed \n/s ik what you meant"
] |
>
I guess.
People are vain and horny.
people overestimate their own worth.
Friendship between men and women are not meant to be.
Different values, expectations, eventually someone gets taken for granted
How fucking starved for affection people are.
In a ideal world people have healthy relation and friends slowly turning lovers.
Yet we need that dopamine tho. | [
"I was good friends with my husband for about 8 years before we started dating. I think we both just needed to grow up a bit. But when we told our friend group we started dating the general reactions was \"about time!\" So I guess it was obvious to everyone but us lol.",
">\n\nMe and my first wife were like rhat",
">\n\nThen what happened?",
">\n\nThen you get told \"I wish I met someone like you.\"",
">\n\nThey make for the most difficult breakups,",
">\n\nSometimes. A better phrase would be that the strongest romantic relationships are also the strongest friendships.\nAlso The honeymoon phase is all relationships. Friendships and lovers. It tends to stop in all relationship when kids get involved 😬",
">\n\nEh, I agree with OP and think it's unpopular because the number of people who meet this way is plummeting, so the acknowledgement makes those people feel insecure.\nOf course you can start a relationship romantically and have it remain successful indefinitely as long as you also build friendship along the way. But there are two key areas this method can never truly replicate:\n\n\nHaving your respect for someone develop 100% independently of your attraction to them. I know a fair number of couples that can't seem to untangle respect and attraction. So when their partner falls in attractiveness it also lowers their overall respect for them. Sometimes that tracks... But sometimes it doesn't (for example, after kids when both people are too tired muster much attraction). Eventually, it leads to problems.\n\n\nAccountability. When you meet through and share a community, there are repercussions for acting a fool. When your only connection to each other is your relationship, there is less incentive to remain civil because you won't be judged/punished by 3rd parties if you don't.\n\n\nIf you look at the complaints that GenZ and younger Millennials have about dating, a lot them can be summed up as \"I'm being treated like a commodity, not like a person.\" Having mutual social ties prevents a lot of that.\nI 100% agree with you about the Honeymoon phase though. After 3 years of being close friends, I started dating my now fiance. Strongest Honeymoon phase I've ever experienced, and also the longest - it's yet to end two years in (and we won't be having kids, so maybe it never will).",
">\n\nIf you meet somebody you’re attracted to, there is no reason you can’t build your romantic relationship along with your friendship. This is typically what i did in all of my relationships. If we couldn’t connect on a more in depth way than attraction, the relationship didn’t last long enough to even call it a relationship. \nA romantic relationship isn’t different than any other except romantic ones tend to involve people feeling more intimate with each other. But it’s the same as if you meet somebody you could never be attracted to. You get to know them. It’s all just regular relationship stuff. If you get into a relationship and don’t bond with that person, friendship or romantic or even family, it doesn’t matter. It’s going to be a fail",
">\n\nI met my wife in a bar. I was drunk as shit and my pickup line was \"You're cute, wanna make out?\"\nShe said \"hell no\", but I talked to her again the next day when I was sober and we hit it off instantly. \nI think the best relationships just don't involve the games, or one person chasing until the other finally settles and gives in.",
">\n\nThis is at least plausible. I agree that the strongest romantic relationships contain an element of robust friendship, but I'm not sure that you need to START like this first. It's possible to develop romance and friendship concurrently.",
">\n\n\nIt's possible to develop romance and friendship concurrently.\n\nI really think this is what happened between my wife and I. We met online gaming in 2000. That doesn't sound revolutinary by today's standards but then it was. We talked more and more and it just kind of developed that we were friends, then it moved to RL and not just games. We became best friends and lovers all at the same time. Been together ever since.",
">\n\n\nWe met online gaming in 2000. Been together ever since.\n\nDon't give redditors too much hope..\njk congrats!",
">\n\nLOL. It was a text based online trivia game. No photos no voice. Just text. You really get to know someone that way. No distractions.",
">\n\nAgreeable. I wouldnt say \"The strongest romantic relationships\" HAVE to start that way, but the ones that do tend to be strong romantic relationships.",
">\n\nI think you’re projecting. My 25 years-and-counting relationship with my wife started out on a foundation of raw, animalistic lust.",
">\n\nBut on the other hand there are plenty of people that are best friends, try to date and realize they have no romantic thing, and afterwards it's getting weird etc. \nYou need a romantic and friendship-base, if you want to stay happy togehter. But what comes first is basically irrelevant.",
">\n\nThat’s great since every time I’ve caught feelings for a friend I also lost them as a friend",
">\n\nThe trick is to not stare at them intently for too long at a time",
">\n\nPeople struggle with dating because of these types of opinions. There is no one way to develop a good relationship, there are many. And one way that works for some people can be the exact reason it fails for others. It depends on everyone involved.",
">\n\nTotally agree, I was friends with my wife for 2 years before we began dating. We will be having our 15th wedding anniversary in a couple weeks.",
">\n\nCongratulations! Yay for best friends!!",
">\n\nI sorta disagree, from personal experience.\nWhen I dated someone who I'd been friends with for years, it didn't turn out well. Yeah sure, I knew the bad and good things about them. But that's a double edged sword, because they figured that I would 'be okay with' the same things now that we were in a relationship. There was nothing new for me to learn about him and no bonding experiences that could help us know each other deeper/better, because we already knew each other incredibly well. He wouldn't shut up about his ex before or during our relationship. I gave him an ultimatum and he only continued. I broke up with him and then became an ex he won't shut up about. \nHowever, when I met my current long distance partner, we only knew each other a month before getting together, as there was relatively quick mutual attraction. Our relationship is now 5 years strong and learning new things about them is/has been a bonding experience that I didn't have with the aforementioned ex of mine.\nSo, I think this isn't true in all cases.",
">\n\nI think you don't mean the strongest but safest. All of the things you mentioned are found in long term partners of dating apps and such as well, but of course they also might not be.\nWhat you're describing is every long term relationship. The trust building, the friendship. And yes you don't always find that on dating apps vs being friends first. But dating apps offer you a large pool to chose from which is generally much larger than your friend group.\nBut you also have to remember the downsides of dating a friend too. If it doesn't work out what happens to your friendship or friend group? Were you just friends to get close enough to date because that's kinda shitty. Not to mention it's hard to know if they're actually like you or don't want to lose a friend so go along with it.",
">\n\nNot for me, I've been with A LOT of people, I've dated a few as well. My current gf and future wife met when she came into my shop to get piercings done with her friends, she called the shop afterwards and we had sex the next day. We have been dating ever since ( 3 years ) and she Is the first woman I trust completely and feel comfortable and know I want to spend my entire life with her, my last relationship was 9 years, we were friends before that, the one before that was 6 years, also friends before. So, no, there really is no rules for making the \"perfect relationship\". My \"one night stand\" turned into the woman im going to spend my life with. Seems others have pointed this out as well. This is projection",
">\n\nMy friend found his first girlfriend on Tindr and she was an abusive narcassist (he left her thank god)\nI was a platonic friend with my bf for 3 years before dating him, and we love each other so fucking much",
">\n\nGood for you!\nNonetheless, all scenarios exist around the same percentage:\n- starting as friends becoming good romantic\n- starting as friends and not being good romantic partners\n- starting as a date/lust and becoming good romantically\n- starting as a date/lust and it does not work out",
">\n\nNot the same percentage, OP is right that you'll find a fulfilling relationship more often in person and starting off as friends.",
">\n\nNot that I don’t believe you, but do you have a source?\nThe best relationships I know are from people in the middle: dating, never knew (or interacted with) each other but taking it slow. People who jump too quickly end up fighting, and the people who were friends for so long do manage, but at the end it seems they do divorce because the spark is gone\nAgain, got no proof for that. Just what it seems",
">\n\nYou're asking me for sauce and yet you have failed to provide sauce yourself for your claim that all relationship types are equally occuring. You can only make a subjetive opinion on the matter and our views will be completely different because experiences are uniaue to the individual.\nPeople who enter marriages quickly end up leaving soon because they failed to know each other better. But instead of dating, they could've literally been friends for a long time and that qualifies for 'getting to know each other' and so jumping into marriage might end up being long term. I guess its dofferent for everyone, but I always wanted to meet my partner in real life either at study or work because I know we would be similar on those grounds. I did and I'm happy, and I'm happy because I got to know him more in the safe friendzone. It was a slow process but it was worth it.",
">\n\nI somewhat agree, but not everyone is lucky enough to have or can stay in social circles where you find your s/o.",
">\n\nI think it kinda boils down to the question, what was first, egg or chicken. You won't have full romantic relationship without sex and the same goes for lust based ones only.\nThis is bit of a myth that you can grow yourself a partner, especially after teenage phase, so you either hit or not into someone compatible making it a luck game, requiring lot of volume to get some points. You can start with passionate sex and just score the best partner in the world or you can start with friendship and never make it till some phase.",
">\n\nIs their proof because my evidence says every time u do that she cheats and you lose a good friend",
">\n\nI actually don't think this is as unpopular as you might think. I think at least some people looking for a steamy romance are not necessarily thinking about a life partner, which is totally ok. In the context of looking for a life partner, this seems pretty common.\nThat said, there are some cases where I'd strongly disagree. Dating allows you to filter people out who have definite life incompatibilities with you. Falling for your friends is great if your friend is compatible with you, but sometimes they're not. I've fallen in love with two close friends, neither who I ever would have gone on a date with (both of them fell for me back). In the end, the friendships turned toxic and fell apart because we wanted things from each other that we actually weren't willing to give, given what we wanted from life. I've honestly had much better luck falling in lust with someone, hanging out with them to see if we're baseline compatible, if not long term, and going from there. This isn't like a one-size-fits-all, but there are definite reasons to date strangers.",
">\n\nI’m in a 5 year relationship with someone who I was friends with. I knew him for like ten years now. I do disagree tho, we definitely had a honeymoon phase",
">\n\nNo. This type of shit is what leads mfs that you just want to be friends with to have some false ass hope for the future. I hate this and if someone just wants to be friends they just want to be friends. I'm not saying it never happens but 9/10 if you don't see them that way..... you never will",
">\n\nI started dating my now wife after we were friends for four years. Sparks are overrated.",
">\n\nI wasn't looking for a relationship. Eventually it just happened.",
">\n\nI fell for my husband after being friends for seven months. I had no initial attraction to him, we were just in the same field in doctoral school and interacted a lot. I was actually in another relationship when I first met him. It wasn’t until we worked closely together and got to know each other on a deeper level months later that a spark started to form. After all those months, I suddenly felt such a deep attraction to him I couldn’t ignore it. \nAll of my previous relationships were like that too. I have never felt instant attraction to any person. It always had to grow with time.",
">\n\nThat's how it worked out for me.",
">\n\nI already knew all of those things about my wife because I was working a crap job for low pay when we met. The entire reason I went back to school was for her. It still took four more years to finish my degree and I didn’t have very much money or time between work and school. She stuck with me through those hard times. I didn’t have to just be her friend but she definitely let it be known that she wouldn’t marry me until I finished college. :)",
">\n\nVery true in my case. I didn’t notice him for years. Then we were just friends. Then best friends. Then best friends that say “I love you” to each-other. But finally i resized my true feelings. Ive been with him 2 long years. I wish I loved him sooner because he’s amazing.",
">\n\nThey make for the most difficult breakups, too.",
">\n\nMaybe, but I dont ruin friendships cuz they are valuable so no.",
">\n\nThis is so true. Friends first! I met my fiance on Facebook through our college class group. I dm'd her first and we spoke for three months as really good friends before meeting in person in the fall. That first week we clicked and knew our intentions. We never expected to date. Fast forward 10 years later ( including 3 years of long distance), we have been living together for two years and get married in Oct. Til this day we love each other very much, and is because we see each other as best friends before partners.",
">\n\nBurying the lede, it’s just better than apps, which are fake as fuck and inflate your self worth.",
">\n\nTrue imo the best relationships are the ones where both partners fully trust and know each other's",
">\n\nI agree, but also because I cannot develop feelings or a spark for someone without knowing them for a long time first. I have never just met a person and instantly had feelings for them.",
">\n\nCompletely the opposite in my opinion. Getting to know someone and having instant sparks and slowly falling in love as you get to know more about them is the best feeling in the world. Often times friends first also break up its just a lot more traumatic and you run a lot more risks about breaking up your friend group and stuff like that.",
">\n\nI disagree. The worst relationship i had was with my best friend. She and i were so fucking toxic to each other, that when we broke up and still had to see each other (Same group of friends), we had to wait 5 years until we were ready to be friends again. \nTo all my fellow guys, don't date your female best friend, you'll end up losing a good friend",
">\n\nI think for some people it’s hard to break out of the mindset once you become friends that this person is meant for friendship. After categorizing some people as friends and others as potential love interests, it’s hard to break that boundary in your head.",
">\n\nIf the relationship ended as not platonic then it was never platonic",
">\n\nThe two best relationships I had were with people who we lived together first, became friends, and then lovers, and then partners. They were really sweet relationships and I hold them close to my heart. \nBecause of this, my rule of thumb is friends first, lovers second and it’s never failed me.",
">\n\nMy rule of thumb is the same, too. All for reasons outlined in this post.",
">\n\nYou are in the friend zone aren't you",
">\n\nStrong disagree. Platonic friendships lead to chemistry-less marriages. Was definitely not friends with my husband before we got married, fancied him too much and still do",
">\n\nThat big crazy love feeling is what attaches us to a person. It’s like a drug and our brain will remember what gave us that feeling while our hearts will tell the brain to keep pursing that person who gave us that good feeling, logical or not. When bad things keep happening in a relationship that good feeling gets over weighed by the bad and that this person is now seen as someone who causes bad feelings instead.. or danger in our brain. Some relationships work out some don’t, you have to remember we hear more about those that don’t then do.\nPeople who are strongly attracted to each other can’t be just friends, nature won’t allow it. They either stop being friends, set boundaries, or give in. I feel like those who started platonic friends means one usually likes the other more then the other does and is looking for security and safety more then chemistry and happiness.",
">\n\nNah, for some of us to get that “in love” feeling we have to know someone for a long time. I never just meet someone and feel anything for them. It took me seven months of friendship to fall for my now husband, but when I finally did, it was every bit as powerful and very much that “drug addicted spark” feeling that you are describing. So I think we are all just different with this.",
">\n\nTook y’all 7 months to give in is all I’m hearing. You felt connection towards each other.",
">\n\nNope, I legitimately was not interested in him in the beginning. I didn’t even find him physically appealing at first. Something changed once I started to interact more with him and got to know his mind over months.\nAnd every other relationship I’ve had has been the same. I have never once felt instant connection to a person. It always takes a long time for it to set in. I need that mental connection and build up.",
">\n\nThat’s still the same thing to me. you got to know him even as friends you developed feelings for him.",
">\n\nYes, but the point is that it happened after months of friendship first, not at the forefront. Which is why many people prefer to start platonically and let things develop.",
">\n\nI’m not sure this is an unpopular opinion….",
">\n\nIt neither popular nor unpopular. Some friendships work out romantically. Other people meet and they have been married 20+ years. No one is better",
">\n\nNah, all happy long-term couples I know started as a romantic relationship. I don't even know how you could have a long platonic friendship and then suddenly feel romantic love and sexual attraction if that wasn't there from the start. If there was romantic connection all along, then you were never friends, you were just taking it slow.",
">\n\nis it weird that I don't believe that relationship between partners can ever be 100% platonic? it is not to disagree with your point, but the initial interest into the engagement must be as least sexual or romantic at some point. It is not to say that it is all that simple, but being a man and having 24/7 urges makes me question dudes who are just friends with female/they them counterpart.",
">\n\nYour urges are entirely your own",
">\n\nyes but my point is that in the heart any interaction that extends to the friendship department among opposite genders are usually have at least of a pretext of a romantic/sexual interest.\nthe interplay of those tensions create the pretext for extending the relationship.\nit is not to say that while getting to know someone you might loose/ or lessen that desire and it can be replaced by the deep bond, but once that bond officially ends in sexual/romantic territory, you cannot agrue in good faith that you were \"just\" friends.",
">\n\nCommon sense, not an unpopular opinion. Love at first sight is not that common, and often doesn't lead to anything anyway. You have to get to know a person before a romance can really start.",
">\n\nWe started as a one night stand, and met every day after, been together for 11 now, so I have to disagree lol.",
">\n\n11 days? I'm impressed \n/s ik what you meant",
">\n\nAha, nice one. Yeah I should have wrote years"
] |
>
Ye | [
"I was good friends with my husband for about 8 years before we started dating. I think we both just needed to grow up a bit. But when we told our friend group we started dating the general reactions was \"about time!\" So I guess it was obvious to everyone but us lol.",
">\n\nMe and my first wife were like rhat",
">\n\nThen what happened?",
">\n\nThen you get told \"I wish I met someone like you.\"",
">\n\nThey make for the most difficult breakups,",
">\n\nSometimes. A better phrase would be that the strongest romantic relationships are also the strongest friendships.\nAlso The honeymoon phase is all relationships. Friendships and lovers. It tends to stop in all relationship when kids get involved 😬",
">\n\nEh, I agree with OP and think it's unpopular because the number of people who meet this way is plummeting, so the acknowledgement makes those people feel insecure.\nOf course you can start a relationship romantically and have it remain successful indefinitely as long as you also build friendship along the way. But there are two key areas this method can never truly replicate:\n\n\nHaving your respect for someone develop 100% independently of your attraction to them. I know a fair number of couples that can't seem to untangle respect and attraction. So when their partner falls in attractiveness it also lowers their overall respect for them. Sometimes that tracks... But sometimes it doesn't (for example, after kids when both people are too tired muster much attraction). Eventually, it leads to problems.\n\n\nAccountability. When you meet through and share a community, there are repercussions for acting a fool. When your only connection to each other is your relationship, there is less incentive to remain civil because you won't be judged/punished by 3rd parties if you don't.\n\n\nIf you look at the complaints that GenZ and younger Millennials have about dating, a lot them can be summed up as \"I'm being treated like a commodity, not like a person.\" Having mutual social ties prevents a lot of that.\nI 100% agree with you about the Honeymoon phase though. After 3 years of being close friends, I started dating my now fiance. Strongest Honeymoon phase I've ever experienced, and also the longest - it's yet to end two years in (and we won't be having kids, so maybe it never will).",
">\n\nIf you meet somebody you’re attracted to, there is no reason you can’t build your romantic relationship along with your friendship. This is typically what i did in all of my relationships. If we couldn’t connect on a more in depth way than attraction, the relationship didn’t last long enough to even call it a relationship. \nA romantic relationship isn’t different than any other except romantic ones tend to involve people feeling more intimate with each other. But it’s the same as if you meet somebody you could never be attracted to. You get to know them. It’s all just regular relationship stuff. If you get into a relationship and don’t bond with that person, friendship or romantic or even family, it doesn’t matter. It’s going to be a fail",
">\n\nI met my wife in a bar. I was drunk as shit and my pickup line was \"You're cute, wanna make out?\"\nShe said \"hell no\", but I talked to her again the next day when I was sober and we hit it off instantly. \nI think the best relationships just don't involve the games, or one person chasing until the other finally settles and gives in.",
">\n\nThis is at least plausible. I agree that the strongest romantic relationships contain an element of robust friendship, but I'm not sure that you need to START like this first. It's possible to develop romance and friendship concurrently.",
">\n\n\nIt's possible to develop romance and friendship concurrently.\n\nI really think this is what happened between my wife and I. We met online gaming in 2000. That doesn't sound revolutinary by today's standards but then it was. We talked more and more and it just kind of developed that we were friends, then it moved to RL and not just games. We became best friends and lovers all at the same time. Been together ever since.",
">\n\n\nWe met online gaming in 2000. Been together ever since.\n\nDon't give redditors too much hope..\njk congrats!",
">\n\nLOL. It was a text based online trivia game. No photos no voice. Just text. You really get to know someone that way. No distractions.",
">\n\nAgreeable. I wouldnt say \"The strongest romantic relationships\" HAVE to start that way, but the ones that do tend to be strong romantic relationships.",
">\n\nI think you’re projecting. My 25 years-and-counting relationship with my wife started out on a foundation of raw, animalistic lust.",
">\n\nBut on the other hand there are plenty of people that are best friends, try to date and realize they have no romantic thing, and afterwards it's getting weird etc. \nYou need a romantic and friendship-base, if you want to stay happy togehter. But what comes first is basically irrelevant.",
">\n\nThat’s great since every time I’ve caught feelings for a friend I also lost them as a friend",
">\n\nThe trick is to not stare at them intently for too long at a time",
">\n\nPeople struggle with dating because of these types of opinions. There is no one way to develop a good relationship, there are many. And one way that works for some people can be the exact reason it fails for others. It depends on everyone involved.",
">\n\nTotally agree, I was friends with my wife for 2 years before we began dating. We will be having our 15th wedding anniversary in a couple weeks.",
">\n\nCongratulations! Yay for best friends!!",
">\n\nI sorta disagree, from personal experience.\nWhen I dated someone who I'd been friends with for years, it didn't turn out well. Yeah sure, I knew the bad and good things about them. But that's a double edged sword, because they figured that I would 'be okay with' the same things now that we were in a relationship. There was nothing new for me to learn about him and no bonding experiences that could help us know each other deeper/better, because we already knew each other incredibly well. He wouldn't shut up about his ex before or during our relationship. I gave him an ultimatum and he only continued. I broke up with him and then became an ex he won't shut up about. \nHowever, when I met my current long distance partner, we only knew each other a month before getting together, as there was relatively quick mutual attraction. Our relationship is now 5 years strong and learning new things about them is/has been a bonding experience that I didn't have with the aforementioned ex of mine.\nSo, I think this isn't true in all cases.",
">\n\nI think you don't mean the strongest but safest. All of the things you mentioned are found in long term partners of dating apps and such as well, but of course they also might not be.\nWhat you're describing is every long term relationship. The trust building, the friendship. And yes you don't always find that on dating apps vs being friends first. But dating apps offer you a large pool to chose from which is generally much larger than your friend group.\nBut you also have to remember the downsides of dating a friend too. If it doesn't work out what happens to your friendship or friend group? Were you just friends to get close enough to date because that's kinda shitty. Not to mention it's hard to know if they're actually like you or don't want to lose a friend so go along with it.",
">\n\nNot for me, I've been with A LOT of people, I've dated a few as well. My current gf and future wife met when she came into my shop to get piercings done with her friends, she called the shop afterwards and we had sex the next day. We have been dating ever since ( 3 years ) and she Is the first woman I trust completely and feel comfortable and know I want to spend my entire life with her, my last relationship was 9 years, we were friends before that, the one before that was 6 years, also friends before. So, no, there really is no rules for making the \"perfect relationship\". My \"one night stand\" turned into the woman im going to spend my life with. Seems others have pointed this out as well. This is projection",
">\n\nMy friend found his first girlfriend on Tindr and she was an abusive narcassist (he left her thank god)\nI was a platonic friend with my bf for 3 years before dating him, and we love each other so fucking much",
">\n\nGood for you!\nNonetheless, all scenarios exist around the same percentage:\n- starting as friends becoming good romantic\n- starting as friends and not being good romantic partners\n- starting as a date/lust and becoming good romantically\n- starting as a date/lust and it does not work out",
">\n\nNot the same percentage, OP is right that you'll find a fulfilling relationship more often in person and starting off as friends.",
">\n\nNot that I don’t believe you, but do you have a source?\nThe best relationships I know are from people in the middle: dating, never knew (or interacted with) each other but taking it slow. People who jump too quickly end up fighting, and the people who were friends for so long do manage, but at the end it seems they do divorce because the spark is gone\nAgain, got no proof for that. Just what it seems",
">\n\nYou're asking me for sauce and yet you have failed to provide sauce yourself for your claim that all relationship types are equally occuring. You can only make a subjetive opinion on the matter and our views will be completely different because experiences are uniaue to the individual.\nPeople who enter marriages quickly end up leaving soon because they failed to know each other better. But instead of dating, they could've literally been friends for a long time and that qualifies for 'getting to know each other' and so jumping into marriage might end up being long term. I guess its dofferent for everyone, but I always wanted to meet my partner in real life either at study or work because I know we would be similar on those grounds. I did and I'm happy, and I'm happy because I got to know him more in the safe friendzone. It was a slow process but it was worth it.",
">\n\nI somewhat agree, but not everyone is lucky enough to have or can stay in social circles where you find your s/o.",
">\n\nI think it kinda boils down to the question, what was first, egg or chicken. You won't have full romantic relationship without sex and the same goes for lust based ones only.\nThis is bit of a myth that you can grow yourself a partner, especially after teenage phase, so you either hit or not into someone compatible making it a luck game, requiring lot of volume to get some points. You can start with passionate sex and just score the best partner in the world or you can start with friendship and never make it till some phase.",
">\n\nIs their proof because my evidence says every time u do that she cheats and you lose a good friend",
">\n\nI actually don't think this is as unpopular as you might think. I think at least some people looking for a steamy romance are not necessarily thinking about a life partner, which is totally ok. In the context of looking for a life partner, this seems pretty common.\nThat said, there are some cases where I'd strongly disagree. Dating allows you to filter people out who have definite life incompatibilities with you. Falling for your friends is great if your friend is compatible with you, but sometimes they're not. I've fallen in love with two close friends, neither who I ever would have gone on a date with (both of them fell for me back). In the end, the friendships turned toxic and fell apart because we wanted things from each other that we actually weren't willing to give, given what we wanted from life. I've honestly had much better luck falling in lust with someone, hanging out with them to see if we're baseline compatible, if not long term, and going from there. This isn't like a one-size-fits-all, but there are definite reasons to date strangers.",
">\n\nI’m in a 5 year relationship with someone who I was friends with. I knew him for like ten years now. I do disagree tho, we definitely had a honeymoon phase",
">\n\nNo. This type of shit is what leads mfs that you just want to be friends with to have some false ass hope for the future. I hate this and if someone just wants to be friends they just want to be friends. I'm not saying it never happens but 9/10 if you don't see them that way..... you never will",
">\n\nI started dating my now wife after we were friends for four years. Sparks are overrated.",
">\n\nI wasn't looking for a relationship. Eventually it just happened.",
">\n\nI fell for my husband after being friends for seven months. I had no initial attraction to him, we were just in the same field in doctoral school and interacted a lot. I was actually in another relationship when I first met him. It wasn’t until we worked closely together and got to know each other on a deeper level months later that a spark started to form. After all those months, I suddenly felt such a deep attraction to him I couldn’t ignore it. \nAll of my previous relationships were like that too. I have never felt instant attraction to any person. It always had to grow with time.",
">\n\nThat's how it worked out for me.",
">\n\nI already knew all of those things about my wife because I was working a crap job for low pay when we met. The entire reason I went back to school was for her. It still took four more years to finish my degree and I didn’t have very much money or time between work and school. She stuck with me through those hard times. I didn’t have to just be her friend but she definitely let it be known that she wouldn’t marry me until I finished college. :)",
">\n\nVery true in my case. I didn’t notice him for years. Then we were just friends. Then best friends. Then best friends that say “I love you” to each-other. But finally i resized my true feelings. Ive been with him 2 long years. I wish I loved him sooner because he’s amazing.",
">\n\nThey make for the most difficult breakups, too.",
">\n\nMaybe, but I dont ruin friendships cuz they are valuable so no.",
">\n\nThis is so true. Friends first! I met my fiance on Facebook through our college class group. I dm'd her first and we spoke for three months as really good friends before meeting in person in the fall. That first week we clicked and knew our intentions. We never expected to date. Fast forward 10 years later ( including 3 years of long distance), we have been living together for two years and get married in Oct. Til this day we love each other very much, and is because we see each other as best friends before partners.",
">\n\nBurying the lede, it’s just better than apps, which are fake as fuck and inflate your self worth.",
">\n\nTrue imo the best relationships are the ones where both partners fully trust and know each other's",
">\n\nI agree, but also because I cannot develop feelings or a spark for someone without knowing them for a long time first. I have never just met a person and instantly had feelings for them.",
">\n\nCompletely the opposite in my opinion. Getting to know someone and having instant sparks and slowly falling in love as you get to know more about them is the best feeling in the world. Often times friends first also break up its just a lot more traumatic and you run a lot more risks about breaking up your friend group and stuff like that.",
">\n\nI disagree. The worst relationship i had was with my best friend. She and i were so fucking toxic to each other, that when we broke up and still had to see each other (Same group of friends), we had to wait 5 years until we were ready to be friends again. \nTo all my fellow guys, don't date your female best friend, you'll end up losing a good friend",
">\n\nI think for some people it’s hard to break out of the mindset once you become friends that this person is meant for friendship. After categorizing some people as friends and others as potential love interests, it’s hard to break that boundary in your head.",
">\n\nIf the relationship ended as not platonic then it was never platonic",
">\n\nThe two best relationships I had were with people who we lived together first, became friends, and then lovers, and then partners. They were really sweet relationships and I hold them close to my heart. \nBecause of this, my rule of thumb is friends first, lovers second and it’s never failed me.",
">\n\nMy rule of thumb is the same, too. All for reasons outlined in this post.",
">\n\nYou are in the friend zone aren't you",
">\n\nStrong disagree. Platonic friendships lead to chemistry-less marriages. Was definitely not friends with my husband before we got married, fancied him too much and still do",
">\n\nThat big crazy love feeling is what attaches us to a person. It’s like a drug and our brain will remember what gave us that feeling while our hearts will tell the brain to keep pursing that person who gave us that good feeling, logical or not. When bad things keep happening in a relationship that good feeling gets over weighed by the bad and that this person is now seen as someone who causes bad feelings instead.. or danger in our brain. Some relationships work out some don’t, you have to remember we hear more about those that don’t then do.\nPeople who are strongly attracted to each other can’t be just friends, nature won’t allow it. They either stop being friends, set boundaries, or give in. I feel like those who started platonic friends means one usually likes the other more then the other does and is looking for security and safety more then chemistry and happiness.",
">\n\nNah, for some of us to get that “in love” feeling we have to know someone for a long time. I never just meet someone and feel anything for them. It took me seven months of friendship to fall for my now husband, but when I finally did, it was every bit as powerful and very much that “drug addicted spark” feeling that you are describing. So I think we are all just different with this.",
">\n\nTook y’all 7 months to give in is all I’m hearing. You felt connection towards each other.",
">\n\nNope, I legitimately was not interested in him in the beginning. I didn’t even find him physically appealing at first. Something changed once I started to interact more with him and got to know his mind over months.\nAnd every other relationship I’ve had has been the same. I have never once felt instant connection to a person. It always takes a long time for it to set in. I need that mental connection and build up.",
">\n\nThat’s still the same thing to me. you got to know him even as friends you developed feelings for him.",
">\n\nYes, but the point is that it happened after months of friendship first, not at the forefront. Which is why many people prefer to start platonically and let things develop.",
">\n\nI’m not sure this is an unpopular opinion….",
">\n\nIt neither popular nor unpopular. Some friendships work out romantically. Other people meet and they have been married 20+ years. No one is better",
">\n\nNah, all happy long-term couples I know started as a romantic relationship. I don't even know how you could have a long platonic friendship and then suddenly feel romantic love and sexual attraction if that wasn't there from the start. If there was romantic connection all along, then you were never friends, you were just taking it slow.",
">\n\nis it weird that I don't believe that relationship between partners can ever be 100% platonic? it is not to disagree with your point, but the initial interest into the engagement must be as least sexual or romantic at some point. It is not to say that it is all that simple, but being a man and having 24/7 urges makes me question dudes who are just friends with female/they them counterpart.",
">\n\nYour urges are entirely your own",
">\n\nyes but my point is that in the heart any interaction that extends to the friendship department among opposite genders are usually have at least of a pretext of a romantic/sexual interest.\nthe interplay of those tensions create the pretext for extending the relationship.\nit is not to say that while getting to know someone you might loose/ or lessen that desire and it can be replaced by the deep bond, but once that bond officially ends in sexual/romantic territory, you cannot agrue in good faith that you were \"just\" friends.",
">\n\nCommon sense, not an unpopular opinion. Love at first sight is not that common, and often doesn't lead to anything anyway. You have to get to know a person before a romance can really start.",
">\n\nWe started as a one night stand, and met every day after, been together for 11 now, so I have to disagree lol.",
">\n\n11 days? I'm impressed \n/s ik what you meant",
">\n\nAha, nice one. Yeah I should have wrote years",
">\n\nI guess.\nPeople are vain and horny.\npeople overestimate their own worth.\nFriendship between men and women are not meant to be.\nDifferent values, expectations, eventually someone gets taken for granted \nHow fucking starved for affection people are.\nIn a ideal world people have healthy relation and friends slowly turning lovers.\nYet we need that dopamine tho."
] |
>
I don’t know… lots of women seem to get upset, if they are asked out by their friends | [
"I was good friends with my husband for about 8 years before we started dating. I think we both just needed to grow up a bit. But when we told our friend group we started dating the general reactions was \"about time!\" So I guess it was obvious to everyone but us lol.",
">\n\nMe and my first wife were like rhat",
">\n\nThen what happened?",
">\n\nThen you get told \"I wish I met someone like you.\"",
">\n\nThey make for the most difficult breakups,",
">\n\nSometimes. A better phrase would be that the strongest romantic relationships are also the strongest friendships.\nAlso The honeymoon phase is all relationships. Friendships and lovers. It tends to stop in all relationship when kids get involved 😬",
">\n\nEh, I agree with OP and think it's unpopular because the number of people who meet this way is plummeting, so the acknowledgement makes those people feel insecure.\nOf course you can start a relationship romantically and have it remain successful indefinitely as long as you also build friendship along the way. But there are two key areas this method can never truly replicate:\n\n\nHaving your respect for someone develop 100% independently of your attraction to them. I know a fair number of couples that can't seem to untangle respect and attraction. So when their partner falls in attractiveness it also lowers their overall respect for them. Sometimes that tracks... But sometimes it doesn't (for example, after kids when both people are too tired muster much attraction). Eventually, it leads to problems.\n\n\nAccountability. When you meet through and share a community, there are repercussions for acting a fool. When your only connection to each other is your relationship, there is less incentive to remain civil because you won't be judged/punished by 3rd parties if you don't.\n\n\nIf you look at the complaints that GenZ and younger Millennials have about dating, a lot them can be summed up as \"I'm being treated like a commodity, not like a person.\" Having mutual social ties prevents a lot of that.\nI 100% agree with you about the Honeymoon phase though. After 3 years of being close friends, I started dating my now fiance. Strongest Honeymoon phase I've ever experienced, and also the longest - it's yet to end two years in (and we won't be having kids, so maybe it never will).",
">\n\nIf you meet somebody you’re attracted to, there is no reason you can’t build your romantic relationship along with your friendship. This is typically what i did in all of my relationships. If we couldn’t connect on a more in depth way than attraction, the relationship didn’t last long enough to even call it a relationship. \nA romantic relationship isn’t different than any other except romantic ones tend to involve people feeling more intimate with each other. But it’s the same as if you meet somebody you could never be attracted to. You get to know them. It’s all just regular relationship stuff. If you get into a relationship and don’t bond with that person, friendship or romantic or even family, it doesn’t matter. It’s going to be a fail",
">\n\nI met my wife in a bar. I was drunk as shit and my pickup line was \"You're cute, wanna make out?\"\nShe said \"hell no\", but I talked to her again the next day when I was sober and we hit it off instantly. \nI think the best relationships just don't involve the games, or one person chasing until the other finally settles and gives in.",
">\n\nThis is at least plausible. I agree that the strongest romantic relationships contain an element of robust friendship, but I'm not sure that you need to START like this first. It's possible to develop romance and friendship concurrently.",
">\n\n\nIt's possible to develop romance and friendship concurrently.\n\nI really think this is what happened between my wife and I. We met online gaming in 2000. That doesn't sound revolutinary by today's standards but then it was. We talked more and more and it just kind of developed that we were friends, then it moved to RL and not just games. We became best friends and lovers all at the same time. Been together ever since.",
">\n\n\nWe met online gaming in 2000. Been together ever since.\n\nDon't give redditors too much hope..\njk congrats!",
">\n\nLOL. It was a text based online trivia game. No photos no voice. Just text. You really get to know someone that way. No distractions.",
">\n\nAgreeable. I wouldnt say \"The strongest romantic relationships\" HAVE to start that way, but the ones that do tend to be strong romantic relationships.",
">\n\nI think you’re projecting. My 25 years-and-counting relationship with my wife started out on a foundation of raw, animalistic lust.",
">\n\nBut on the other hand there are plenty of people that are best friends, try to date and realize they have no romantic thing, and afterwards it's getting weird etc. \nYou need a romantic and friendship-base, if you want to stay happy togehter. But what comes first is basically irrelevant.",
">\n\nThat’s great since every time I’ve caught feelings for a friend I also lost them as a friend",
">\n\nThe trick is to not stare at them intently for too long at a time",
">\n\nPeople struggle with dating because of these types of opinions. There is no one way to develop a good relationship, there are many. And one way that works for some people can be the exact reason it fails for others. It depends on everyone involved.",
">\n\nTotally agree, I was friends with my wife for 2 years before we began dating. We will be having our 15th wedding anniversary in a couple weeks.",
">\n\nCongratulations! Yay for best friends!!",
">\n\nI sorta disagree, from personal experience.\nWhen I dated someone who I'd been friends with for years, it didn't turn out well. Yeah sure, I knew the bad and good things about them. But that's a double edged sword, because they figured that I would 'be okay with' the same things now that we were in a relationship. There was nothing new for me to learn about him and no bonding experiences that could help us know each other deeper/better, because we already knew each other incredibly well. He wouldn't shut up about his ex before or during our relationship. I gave him an ultimatum and he only continued. I broke up with him and then became an ex he won't shut up about. \nHowever, when I met my current long distance partner, we only knew each other a month before getting together, as there was relatively quick mutual attraction. Our relationship is now 5 years strong and learning new things about them is/has been a bonding experience that I didn't have with the aforementioned ex of mine.\nSo, I think this isn't true in all cases.",
">\n\nI think you don't mean the strongest but safest. All of the things you mentioned are found in long term partners of dating apps and such as well, but of course they also might not be.\nWhat you're describing is every long term relationship. The trust building, the friendship. And yes you don't always find that on dating apps vs being friends first. But dating apps offer you a large pool to chose from which is generally much larger than your friend group.\nBut you also have to remember the downsides of dating a friend too. If it doesn't work out what happens to your friendship or friend group? Were you just friends to get close enough to date because that's kinda shitty. Not to mention it's hard to know if they're actually like you or don't want to lose a friend so go along with it.",
">\n\nNot for me, I've been with A LOT of people, I've dated a few as well. My current gf and future wife met when she came into my shop to get piercings done with her friends, she called the shop afterwards and we had sex the next day. We have been dating ever since ( 3 years ) and she Is the first woman I trust completely and feel comfortable and know I want to spend my entire life with her, my last relationship was 9 years, we were friends before that, the one before that was 6 years, also friends before. So, no, there really is no rules for making the \"perfect relationship\". My \"one night stand\" turned into the woman im going to spend my life with. Seems others have pointed this out as well. This is projection",
">\n\nMy friend found his first girlfriend on Tindr and she was an abusive narcassist (he left her thank god)\nI was a platonic friend with my bf for 3 years before dating him, and we love each other so fucking much",
">\n\nGood for you!\nNonetheless, all scenarios exist around the same percentage:\n- starting as friends becoming good romantic\n- starting as friends and not being good romantic partners\n- starting as a date/lust and becoming good romantically\n- starting as a date/lust and it does not work out",
">\n\nNot the same percentage, OP is right that you'll find a fulfilling relationship more often in person and starting off as friends.",
">\n\nNot that I don’t believe you, but do you have a source?\nThe best relationships I know are from people in the middle: dating, never knew (or interacted with) each other but taking it slow. People who jump too quickly end up fighting, and the people who were friends for so long do manage, but at the end it seems they do divorce because the spark is gone\nAgain, got no proof for that. Just what it seems",
">\n\nYou're asking me for sauce and yet you have failed to provide sauce yourself for your claim that all relationship types are equally occuring. You can only make a subjetive opinion on the matter and our views will be completely different because experiences are uniaue to the individual.\nPeople who enter marriages quickly end up leaving soon because they failed to know each other better. But instead of dating, they could've literally been friends for a long time and that qualifies for 'getting to know each other' and so jumping into marriage might end up being long term. I guess its dofferent for everyone, but I always wanted to meet my partner in real life either at study or work because I know we would be similar on those grounds. I did and I'm happy, and I'm happy because I got to know him more in the safe friendzone. It was a slow process but it was worth it.",
">\n\nI somewhat agree, but not everyone is lucky enough to have or can stay in social circles where you find your s/o.",
">\n\nI think it kinda boils down to the question, what was first, egg or chicken. You won't have full romantic relationship without sex and the same goes for lust based ones only.\nThis is bit of a myth that you can grow yourself a partner, especially after teenage phase, so you either hit or not into someone compatible making it a luck game, requiring lot of volume to get some points. You can start with passionate sex and just score the best partner in the world or you can start with friendship and never make it till some phase.",
">\n\nIs their proof because my evidence says every time u do that she cheats and you lose a good friend",
">\n\nI actually don't think this is as unpopular as you might think. I think at least some people looking for a steamy romance are not necessarily thinking about a life partner, which is totally ok. In the context of looking for a life partner, this seems pretty common.\nThat said, there are some cases where I'd strongly disagree. Dating allows you to filter people out who have definite life incompatibilities with you. Falling for your friends is great if your friend is compatible with you, but sometimes they're not. I've fallen in love with two close friends, neither who I ever would have gone on a date with (both of them fell for me back). In the end, the friendships turned toxic and fell apart because we wanted things from each other that we actually weren't willing to give, given what we wanted from life. I've honestly had much better luck falling in lust with someone, hanging out with them to see if we're baseline compatible, if not long term, and going from there. This isn't like a one-size-fits-all, but there are definite reasons to date strangers.",
">\n\nI’m in a 5 year relationship with someone who I was friends with. I knew him for like ten years now. I do disagree tho, we definitely had a honeymoon phase",
">\n\nNo. This type of shit is what leads mfs that you just want to be friends with to have some false ass hope for the future. I hate this and if someone just wants to be friends they just want to be friends. I'm not saying it never happens but 9/10 if you don't see them that way..... you never will",
">\n\nI started dating my now wife after we were friends for four years. Sparks are overrated.",
">\n\nI wasn't looking for a relationship. Eventually it just happened.",
">\n\nI fell for my husband after being friends for seven months. I had no initial attraction to him, we were just in the same field in doctoral school and interacted a lot. I was actually in another relationship when I first met him. It wasn’t until we worked closely together and got to know each other on a deeper level months later that a spark started to form. After all those months, I suddenly felt such a deep attraction to him I couldn’t ignore it. \nAll of my previous relationships were like that too. I have never felt instant attraction to any person. It always had to grow with time.",
">\n\nThat's how it worked out for me.",
">\n\nI already knew all of those things about my wife because I was working a crap job for low pay when we met. The entire reason I went back to school was for her. It still took four more years to finish my degree and I didn’t have very much money or time between work and school. She stuck with me through those hard times. I didn’t have to just be her friend but she definitely let it be known that she wouldn’t marry me until I finished college. :)",
">\n\nVery true in my case. I didn’t notice him for years. Then we were just friends. Then best friends. Then best friends that say “I love you” to each-other. But finally i resized my true feelings. Ive been with him 2 long years. I wish I loved him sooner because he’s amazing.",
">\n\nThey make for the most difficult breakups, too.",
">\n\nMaybe, but I dont ruin friendships cuz they are valuable so no.",
">\n\nThis is so true. Friends first! I met my fiance on Facebook through our college class group. I dm'd her first and we spoke for three months as really good friends before meeting in person in the fall. That first week we clicked and knew our intentions. We never expected to date. Fast forward 10 years later ( including 3 years of long distance), we have been living together for two years and get married in Oct. Til this day we love each other very much, and is because we see each other as best friends before partners.",
">\n\nBurying the lede, it’s just better than apps, which are fake as fuck and inflate your self worth.",
">\n\nTrue imo the best relationships are the ones where both partners fully trust and know each other's",
">\n\nI agree, but also because I cannot develop feelings or a spark for someone without knowing them for a long time first. I have never just met a person and instantly had feelings for them.",
">\n\nCompletely the opposite in my opinion. Getting to know someone and having instant sparks and slowly falling in love as you get to know more about them is the best feeling in the world. Often times friends first also break up its just a lot more traumatic and you run a lot more risks about breaking up your friend group and stuff like that.",
">\n\nI disagree. The worst relationship i had was with my best friend. She and i were so fucking toxic to each other, that when we broke up and still had to see each other (Same group of friends), we had to wait 5 years until we were ready to be friends again. \nTo all my fellow guys, don't date your female best friend, you'll end up losing a good friend",
">\n\nI think for some people it’s hard to break out of the mindset once you become friends that this person is meant for friendship. After categorizing some people as friends and others as potential love interests, it’s hard to break that boundary in your head.",
">\n\nIf the relationship ended as not platonic then it was never platonic",
">\n\nThe two best relationships I had were with people who we lived together first, became friends, and then lovers, and then partners. They were really sweet relationships and I hold them close to my heart. \nBecause of this, my rule of thumb is friends first, lovers second and it’s never failed me.",
">\n\nMy rule of thumb is the same, too. All for reasons outlined in this post.",
">\n\nYou are in the friend zone aren't you",
">\n\nStrong disagree. Platonic friendships lead to chemistry-less marriages. Was definitely not friends with my husband before we got married, fancied him too much and still do",
">\n\nThat big crazy love feeling is what attaches us to a person. It’s like a drug and our brain will remember what gave us that feeling while our hearts will tell the brain to keep pursing that person who gave us that good feeling, logical or not. When bad things keep happening in a relationship that good feeling gets over weighed by the bad and that this person is now seen as someone who causes bad feelings instead.. or danger in our brain. Some relationships work out some don’t, you have to remember we hear more about those that don’t then do.\nPeople who are strongly attracted to each other can’t be just friends, nature won’t allow it. They either stop being friends, set boundaries, or give in. I feel like those who started platonic friends means one usually likes the other more then the other does and is looking for security and safety more then chemistry and happiness.",
">\n\nNah, for some of us to get that “in love” feeling we have to know someone for a long time. I never just meet someone and feel anything for them. It took me seven months of friendship to fall for my now husband, but when I finally did, it was every bit as powerful and very much that “drug addicted spark” feeling that you are describing. So I think we are all just different with this.",
">\n\nTook y’all 7 months to give in is all I’m hearing. You felt connection towards each other.",
">\n\nNope, I legitimately was not interested in him in the beginning. I didn’t even find him physically appealing at first. Something changed once I started to interact more with him and got to know his mind over months.\nAnd every other relationship I’ve had has been the same. I have never once felt instant connection to a person. It always takes a long time for it to set in. I need that mental connection and build up.",
">\n\nThat’s still the same thing to me. you got to know him even as friends you developed feelings for him.",
">\n\nYes, but the point is that it happened after months of friendship first, not at the forefront. Which is why many people prefer to start platonically and let things develop.",
">\n\nI’m not sure this is an unpopular opinion….",
">\n\nIt neither popular nor unpopular. Some friendships work out romantically. Other people meet and they have been married 20+ years. No one is better",
">\n\nNah, all happy long-term couples I know started as a romantic relationship. I don't even know how you could have a long platonic friendship and then suddenly feel romantic love and sexual attraction if that wasn't there from the start. If there was romantic connection all along, then you were never friends, you were just taking it slow.",
">\n\nis it weird that I don't believe that relationship between partners can ever be 100% platonic? it is not to disagree with your point, but the initial interest into the engagement must be as least sexual or romantic at some point. It is not to say that it is all that simple, but being a man and having 24/7 urges makes me question dudes who are just friends with female/they them counterpart.",
">\n\nYour urges are entirely your own",
">\n\nyes but my point is that in the heart any interaction that extends to the friendship department among opposite genders are usually have at least of a pretext of a romantic/sexual interest.\nthe interplay of those tensions create the pretext for extending the relationship.\nit is not to say that while getting to know someone you might loose/ or lessen that desire and it can be replaced by the deep bond, but once that bond officially ends in sexual/romantic territory, you cannot agrue in good faith that you were \"just\" friends.",
">\n\nCommon sense, not an unpopular opinion. Love at first sight is not that common, and often doesn't lead to anything anyway. You have to get to know a person before a romance can really start.",
">\n\nWe started as a one night stand, and met every day after, been together for 11 now, so I have to disagree lol.",
">\n\n11 days? I'm impressed \n/s ik what you meant",
">\n\nAha, nice one. Yeah I should have wrote years",
">\n\nI guess.\nPeople are vain and horny.\npeople overestimate their own worth.\nFriendship between men and women are not meant to be.\nDifferent values, expectations, eventually someone gets taken for granted \nHow fucking starved for affection people are.\nIn a ideal world people have healthy relation and friends slowly turning lovers.\nYet we need that dopamine tho.",
">\n\nYe"
] |
>
But if that relationship ends poorly you end up losing a great friend. | [
"I was good friends with my husband for about 8 years before we started dating. I think we both just needed to grow up a bit. But when we told our friend group we started dating the general reactions was \"about time!\" So I guess it was obvious to everyone but us lol.",
">\n\nMe and my first wife were like rhat",
">\n\nThen what happened?",
">\n\nThen you get told \"I wish I met someone like you.\"",
">\n\nThey make for the most difficult breakups,",
">\n\nSometimes. A better phrase would be that the strongest romantic relationships are also the strongest friendships.\nAlso The honeymoon phase is all relationships. Friendships and lovers. It tends to stop in all relationship when kids get involved 😬",
">\n\nEh, I agree with OP and think it's unpopular because the number of people who meet this way is plummeting, so the acknowledgement makes those people feel insecure.\nOf course you can start a relationship romantically and have it remain successful indefinitely as long as you also build friendship along the way. But there are two key areas this method can never truly replicate:\n\n\nHaving your respect for someone develop 100% independently of your attraction to them. I know a fair number of couples that can't seem to untangle respect and attraction. So when their partner falls in attractiveness it also lowers their overall respect for them. Sometimes that tracks... But sometimes it doesn't (for example, after kids when both people are too tired muster much attraction). Eventually, it leads to problems.\n\n\nAccountability. When you meet through and share a community, there are repercussions for acting a fool. When your only connection to each other is your relationship, there is less incentive to remain civil because you won't be judged/punished by 3rd parties if you don't.\n\n\nIf you look at the complaints that GenZ and younger Millennials have about dating, a lot them can be summed up as \"I'm being treated like a commodity, not like a person.\" Having mutual social ties prevents a lot of that.\nI 100% agree with you about the Honeymoon phase though. After 3 years of being close friends, I started dating my now fiance. Strongest Honeymoon phase I've ever experienced, and also the longest - it's yet to end two years in (and we won't be having kids, so maybe it never will).",
">\n\nIf you meet somebody you’re attracted to, there is no reason you can’t build your romantic relationship along with your friendship. This is typically what i did in all of my relationships. If we couldn’t connect on a more in depth way than attraction, the relationship didn’t last long enough to even call it a relationship. \nA romantic relationship isn’t different than any other except romantic ones tend to involve people feeling more intimate with each other. But it’s the same as if you meet somebody you could never be attracted to. You get to know them. It’s all just regular relationship stuff. If you get into a relationship and don’t bond with that person, friendship or romantic or even family, it doesn’t matter. It’s going to be a fail",
">\n\nI met my wife in a bar. I was drunk as shit and my pickup line was \"You're cute, wanna make out?\"\nShe said \"hell no\", but I talked to her again the next day when I was sober and we hit it off instantly. \nI think the best relationships just don't involve the games, or one person chasing until the other finally settles and gives in.",
">\n\nThis is at least plausible. I agree that the strongest romantic relationships contain an element of robust friendship, but I'm not sure that you need to START like this first. It's possible to develop romance and friendship concurrently.",
">\n\n\nIt's possible to develop romance and friendship concurrently.\n\nI really think this is what happened between my wife and I. We met online gaming in 2000. That doesn't sound revolutinary by today's standards but then it was. We talked more and more and it just kind of developed that we were friends, then it moved to RL and not just games. We became best friends and lovers all at the same time. Been together ever since.",
">\n\n\nWe met online gaming in 2000. Been together ever since.\n\nDon't give redditors too much hope..\njk congrats!",
">\n\nLOL. It was a text based online trivia game. No photos no voice. Just text. You really get to know someone that way. No distractions.",
">\n\nAgreeable. I wouldnt say \"The strongest romantic relationships\" HAVE to start that way, but the ones that do tend to be strong romantic relationships.",
">\n\nI think you’re projecting. My 25 years-and-counting relationship with my wife started out on a foundation of raw, animalistic lust.",
">\n\nBut on the other hand there are plenty of people that are best friends, try to date and realize they have no romantic thing, and afterwards it's getting weird etc. \nYou need a romantic and friendship-base, if you want to stay happy togehter. But what comes first is basically irrelevant.",
">\n\nThat’s great since every time I’ve caught feelings for a friend I also lost them as a friend",
">\n\nThe trick is to not stare at them intently for too long at a time",
">\n\nPeople struggle with dating because of these types of opinions. There is no one way to develop a good relationship, there are many. And one way that works for some people can be the exact reason it fails for others. It depends on everyone involved.",
">\n\nTotally agree, I was friends with my wife for 2 years before we began dating. We will be having our 15th wedding anniversary in a couple weeks.",
">\n\nCongratulations! Yay for best friends!!",
">\n\nI sorta disagree, from personal experience.\nWhen I dated someone who I'd been friends with for years, it didn't turn out well. Yeah sure, I knew the bad and good things about them. But that's a double edged sword, because they figured that I would 'be okay with' the same things now that we were in a relationship. There was nothing new for me to learn about him and no bonding experiences that could help us know each other deeper/better, because we already knew each other incredibly well. He wouldn't shut up about his ex before or during our relationship. I gave him an ultimatum and he only continued. I broke up with him and then became an ex he won't shut up about. \nHowever, when I met my current long distance partner, we only knew each other a month before getting together, as there was relatively quick mutual attraction. Our relationship is now 5 years strong and learning new things about them is/has been a bonding experience that I didn't have with the aforementioned ex of mine.\nSo, I think this isn't true in all cases.",
">\n\nI think you don't mean the strongest but safest. All of the things you mentioned are found in long term partners of dating apps and such as well, but of course they also might not be.\nWhat you're describing is every long term relationship. The trust building, the friendship. And yes you don't always find that on dating apps vs being friends first. But dating apps offer you a large pool to chose from which is generally much larger than your friend group.\nBut you also have to remember the downsides of dating a friend too. If it doesn't work out what happens to your friendship or friend group? Were you just friends to get close enough to date because that's kinda shitty. Not to mention it's hard to know if they're actually like you or don't want to lose a friend so go along with it.",
">\n\nNot for me, I've been with A LOT of people, I've dated a few as well. My current gf and future wife met when she came into my shop to get piercings done with her friends, she called the shop afterwards and we had sex the next day. We have been dating ever since ( 3 years ) and she Is the first woman I trust completely and feel comfortable and know I want to spend my entire life with her, my last relationship was 9 years, we were friends before that, the one before that was 6 years, also friends before. So, no, there really is no rules for making the \"perfect relationship\". My \"one night stand\" turned into the woman im going to spend my life with. Seems others have pointed this out as well. This is projection",
">\n\nMy friend found his first girlfriend on Tindr and she was an abusive narcassist (he left her thank god)\nI was a platonic friend with my bf for 3 years before dating him, and we love each other so fucking much",
">\n\nGood for you!\nNonetheless, all scenarios exist around the same percentage:\n- starting as friends becoming good romantic\n- starting as friends and not being good romantic partners\n- starting as a date/lust and becoming good romantically\n- starting as a date/lust and it does not work out",
">\n\nNot the same percentage, OP is right that you'll find a fulfilling relationship more often in person and starting off as friends.",
">\n\nNot that I don’t believe you, but do you have a source?\nThe best relationships I know are from people in the middle: dating, never knew (or interacted with) each other but taking it slow. People who jump too quickly end up fighting, and the people who were friends for so long do manage, but at the end it seems they do divorce because the spark is gone\nAgain, got no proof for that. Just what it seems",
">\n\nYou're asking me for sauce and yet you have failed to provide sauce yourself for your claim that all relationship types are equally occuring. You can only make a subjetive opinion on the matter and our views will be completely different because experiences are uniaue to the individual.\nPeople who enter marriages quickly end up leaving soon because they failed to know each other better. But instead of dating, they could've literally been friends for a long time and that qualifies for 'getting to know each other' and so jumping into marriage might end up being long term. I guess its dofferent for everyone, but I always wanted to meet my partner in real life either at study or work because I know we would be similar on those grounds. I did and I'm happy, and I'm happy because I got to know him more in the safe friendzone. It was a slow process but it was worth it.",
">\n\nI somewhat agree, but not everyone is lucky enough to have or can stay in social circles where you find your s/o.",
">\n\nI think it kinda boils down to the question, what was first, egg or chicken. You won't have full romantic relationship without sex and the same goes for lust based ones only.\nThis is bit of a myth that you can grow yourself a partner, especially after teenage phase, so you either hit or not into someone compatible making it a luck game, requiring lot of volume to get some points. You can start with passionate sex and just score the best partner in the world or you can start with friendship and never make it till some phase.",
">\n\nIs their proof because my evidence says every time u do that she cheats and you lose a good friend",
">\n\nI actually don't think this is as unpopular as you might think. I think at least some people looking for a steamy romance are not necessarily thinking about a life partner, which is totally ok. In the context of looking for a life partner, this seems pretty common.\nThat said, there are some cases where I'd strongly disagree. Dating allows you to filter people out who have definite life incompatibilities with you. Falling for your friends is great if your friend is compatible with you, but sometimes they're not. I've fallen in love with two close friends, neither who I ever would have gone on a date with (both of them fell for me back). In the end, the friendships turned toxic and fell apart because we wanted things from each other that we actually weren't willing to give, given what we wanted from life. I've honestly had much better luck falling in lust with someone, hanging out with them to see if we're baseline compatible, if not long term, and going from there. This isn't like a one-size-fits-all, but there are definite reasons to date strangers.",
">\n\nI’m in a 5 year relationship with someone who I was friends with. I knew him for like ten years now. I do disagree tho, we definitely had a honeymoon phase",
">\n\nNo. This type of shit is what leads mfs that you just want to be friends with to have some false ass hope for the future. I hate this and if someone just wants to be friends they just want to be friends. I'm not saying it never happens but 9/10 if you don't see them that way..... you never will",
">\n\nI started dating my now wife after we were friends for four years. Sparks are overrated.",
">\n\nI wasn't looking for a relationship. Eventually it just happened.",
">\n\nI fell for my husband after being friends for seven months. I had no initial attraction to him, we were just in the same field in doctoral school and interacted a lot. I was actually in another relationship when I first met him. It wasn’t until we worked closely together and got to know each other on a deeper level months later that a spark started to form. After all those months, I suddenly felt such a deep attraction to him I couldn’t ignore it. \nAll of my previous relationships were like that too. I have never felt instant attraction to any person. It always had to grow with time.",
">\n\nThat's how it worked out for me.",
">\n\nI already knew all of those things about my wife because I was working a crap job for low pay when we met. The entire reason I went back to school was for her. It still took four more years to finish my degree and I didn’t have very much money or time between work and school. She stuck with me through those hard times. I didn’t have to just be her friend but she definitely let it be known that she wouldn’t marry me until I finished college. :)",
">\n\nVery true in my case. I didn’t notice him for years. Then we were just friends. Then best friends. Then best friends that say “I love you” to each-other. But finally i resized my true feelings. Ive been with him 2 long years. I wish I loved him sooner because he’s amazing.",
">\n\nThey make for the most difficult breakups, too.",
">\n\nMaybe, but I dont ruin friendships cuz they are valuable so no.",
">\n\nThis is so true. Friends first! I met my fiance on Facebook through our college class group. I dm'd her first and we spoke for three months as really good friends before meeting in person in the fall. That first week we clicked and knew our intentions. We never expected to date. Fast forward 10 years later ( including 3 years of long distance), we have been living together for two years and get married in Oct. Til this day we love each other very much, and is because we see each other as best friends before partners.",
">\n\nBurying the lede, it’s just better than apps, which are fake as fuck and inflate your self worth.",
">\n\nTrue imo the best relationships are the ones where both partners fully trust and know each other's",
">\n\nI agree, but also because I cannot develop feelings or a spark for someone without knowing them for a long time first. I have never just met a person and instantly had feelings for them.",
">\n\nCompletely the opposite in my opinion. Getting to know someone and having instant sparks and slowly falling in love as you get to know more about them is the best feeling in the world. Often times friends first also break up its just a lot more traumatic and you run a lot more risks about breaking up your friend group and stuff like that.",
">\n\nI disagree. The worst relationship i had was with my best friend. She and i were so fucking toxic to each other, that when we broke up and still had to see each other (Same group of friends), we had to wait 5 years until we were ready to be friends again. \nTo all my fellow guys, don't date your female best friend, you'll end up losing a good friend",
">\n\nI think for some people it’s hard to break out of the mindset once you become friends that this person is meant for friendship. After categorizing some people as friends and others as potential love interests, it’s hard to break that boundary in your head.",
">\n\nIf the relationship ended as not platonic then it was never platonic",
">\n\nThe two best relationships I had were with people who we lived together first, became friends, and then lovers, and then partners. They were really sweet relationships and I hold them close to my heart. \nBecause of this, my rule of thumb is friends first, lovers second and it’s never failed me.",
">\n\nMy rule of thumb is the same, too. All for reasons outlined in this post.",
">\n\nYou are in the friend zone aren't you",
">\n\nStrong disagree. Platonic friendships lead to chemistry-less marriages. Was definitely not friends with my husband before we got married, fancied him too much and still do",
">\n\nThat big crazy love feeling is what attaches us to a person. It’s like a drug and our brain will remember what gave us that feeling while our hearts will tell the brain to keep pursing that person who gave us that good feeling, logical or not. When bad things keep happening in a relationship that good feeling gets over weighed by the bad and that this person is now seen as someone who causes bad feelings instead.. or danger in our brain. Some relationships work out some don’t, you have to remember we hear more about those that don’t then do.\nPeople who are strongly attracted to each other can’t be just friends, nature won’t allow it. They either stop being friends, set boundaries, or give in. I feel like those who started platonic friends means one usually likes the other more then the other does and is looking for security and safety more then chemistry and happiness.",
">\n\nNah, for some of us to get that “in love” feeling we have to know someone for a long time. I never just meet someone and feel anything for them. It took me seven months of friendship to fall for my now husband, but when I finally did, it was every bit as powerful and very much that “drug addicted spark” feeling that you are describing. So I think we are all just different with this.",
">\n\nTook y’all 7 months to give in is all I’m hearing. You felt connection towards each other.",
">\n\nNope, I legitimately was not interested in him in the beginning. I didn’t even find him physically appealing at first. Something changed once I started to interact more with him and got to know his mind over months.\nAnd every other relationship I’ve had has been the same. I have never once felt instant connection to a person. It always takes a long time for it to set in. I need that mental connection and build up.",
">\n\nThat’s still the same thing to me. you got to know him even as friends you developed feelings for him.",
">\n\nYes, but the point is that it happened after months of friendship first, not at the forefront. Which is why many people prefer to start platonically and let things develop.",
">\n\nI’m not sure this is an unpopular opinion….",
">\n\nIt neither popular nor unpopular. Some friendships work out romantically. Other people meet and they have been married 20+ years. No one is better",
">\n\nNah, all happy long-term couples I know started as a romantic relationship. I don't even know how you could have a long platonic friendship and then suddenly feel romantic love and sexual attraction if that wasn't there from the start. If there was romantic connection all along, then you were never friends, you were just taking it slow.",
">\n\nis it weird that I don't believe that relationship between partners can ever be 100% platonic? it is not to disagree with your point, but the initial interest into the engagement must be as least sexual or romantic at some point. It is not to say that it is all that simple, but being a man and having 24/7 urges makes me question dudes who are just friends with female/they them counterpart.",
">\n\nYour urges are entirely your own",
">\n\nyes but my point is that in the heart any interaction that extends to the friendship department among opposite genders are usually have at least of a pretext of a romantic/sexual interest.\nthe interplay of those tensions create the pretext for extending the relationship.\nit is not to say that while getting to know someone you might loose/ or lessen that desire and it can be replaced by the deep bond, but once that bond officially ends in sexual/romantic territory, you cannot agrue in good faith that you were \"just\" friends.",
">\n\nCommon sense, not an unpopular opinion. Love at first sight is not that common, and often doesn't lead to anything anyway. You have to get to know a person before a romance can really start.",
">\n\nWe started as a one night stand, and met every day after, been together for 11 now, so I have to disagree lol.",
">\n\n11 days? I'm impressed \n/s ik what you meant",
">\n\nAha, nice one. Yeah I should have wrote years",
">\n\nI guess.\nPeople are vain and horny.\npeople overestimate their own worth.\nFriendship between men and women are not meant to be.\nDifferent values, expectations, eventually someone gets taken for granted \nHow fucking starved for affection people are.\nIn a ideal world people have healthy relation and friends slowly turning lovers.\nYet we need that dopamine tho.",
">\n\nYe",
">\n\nI don’t know… lots of women seem to get upset, if they are asked out by their friends"
] |
>
My partner and I weren't friends before but we are definitely best friends now after nearly 20 years together | [
"I was good friends with my husband for about 8 years before we started dating. I think we both just needed to grow up a bit. But when we told our friend group we started dating the general reactions was \"about time!\" So I guess it was obvious to everyone but us lol.",
">\n\nMe and my first wife were like rhat",
">\n\nThen what happened?",
">\n\nThen you get told \"I wish I met someone like you.\"",
">\n\nThey make for the most difficult breakups,",
">\n\nSometimes. A better phrase would be that the strongest romantic relationships are also the strongest friendships.\nAlso The honeymoon phase is all relationships. Friendships and lovers. It tends to stop in all relationship when kids get involved 😬",
">\n\nEh, I agree with OP and think it's unpopular because the number of people who meet this way is plummeting, so the acknowledgement makes those people feel insecure.\nOf course you can start a relationship romantically and have it remain successful indefinitely as long as you also build friendship along the way. But there are two key areas this method can never truly replicate:\n\n\nHaving your respect for someone develop 100% independently of your attraction to them. I know a fair number of couples that can't seem to untangle respect and attraction. So when their partner falls in attractiveness it also lowers their overall respect for them. Sometimes that tracks... But sometimes it doesn't (for example, after kids when both people are too tired muster much attraction). Eventually, it leads to problems.\n\n\nAccountability. When you meet through and share a community, there are repercussions for acting a fool. When your only connection to each other is your relationship, there is less incentive to remain civil because you won't be judged/punished by 3rd parties if you don't.\n\n\nIf you look at the complaints that GenZ and younger Millennials have about dating, a lot them can be summed up as \"I'm being treated like a commodity, not like a person.\" Having mutual social ties prevents a lot of that.\nI 100% agree with you about the Honeymoon phase though. After 3 years of being close friends, I started dating my now fiance. Strongest Honeymoon phase I've ever experienced, and also the longest - it's yet to end two years in (and we won't be having kids, so maybe it never will).",
">\n\nIf you meet somebody you’re attracted to, there is no reason you can’t build your romantic relationship along with your friendship. This is typically what i did in all of my relationships. If we couldn’t connect on a more in depth way than attraction, the relationship didn’t last long enough to even call it a relationship. \nA romantic relationship isn’t different than any other except romantic ones tend to involve people feeling more intimate with each other. But it’s the same as if you meet somebody you could never be attracted to. You get to know them. It’s all just regular relationship stuff. If you get into a relationship and don’t bond with that person, friendship or romantic or even family, it doesn’t matter. It’s going to be a fail",
">\n\nI met my wife in a bar. I was drunk as shit and my pickup line was \"You're cute, wanna make out?\"\nShe said \"hell no\", but I talked to her again the next day when I was sober and we hit it off instantly. \nI think the best relationships just don't involve the games, or one person chasing until the other finally settles and gives in.",
">\n\nThis is at least plausible. I agree that the strongest romantic relationships contain an element of robust friendship, but I'm not sure that you need to START like this first. It's possible to develop romance and friendship concurrently.",
">\n\n\nIt's possible to develop romance and friendship concurrently.\n\nI really think this is what happened between my wife and I. We met online gaming in 2000. That doesn't sound revolutinary by today's standards but then it was. We talked more and more and it just kind of developed that we were friends, then it moved to RL and not just games. We became best friends and lovers all at the same time. Been together ever since.",
">\n\n\nWe met online gaming in 2000. Been together ever since.\n\nDon't give redditors too much hope..\njk congrats!",
">\n\nLOL. It was a text based online trivia game. No photos no voice. Just text. You really get to know someone that way. No distractions.",
">\n\nAgreeable. I wouldnt say \"The strongest romantic relationships\" HAVE to start that way, but the ones that do tend to be strong romantic relationships.",
">\n\nI think you’re projecting. My 25 years-and-counting relationship with my wife started out on a foundation of raw, animalistic lust.",
">\n\nBut on the other hand there are plenty of people that are best friends, try to date and realize they have no romantic thing, and afterwards it's getting weird etc. \nYou need a romantic and friendship-base, if you want to stay happy togehter. But what comes first is basically irrelevant.",
">\n\nThat’s great since every time I’ve caught feelings for a friend I also lost them as a friend",
">\n\nThe trick is to not stare at them intently for too long at a time",
">\n\nPeople struggle with dating because of these types of opinions. There is no one way to develop a good relationship, there are many. And one way that works for some people can be the exact reason it fails for others. It depends on everyone involved.",
">\n\nTotally agree, I was friends with my wife for 2 years before we began dating. We will be having our 15th wedding anniversary in a couple weeks.",
">\n\nCongratulations! Yay for best friends!!",
">\n\nI sorta disagree, from personal experience.\nWhen I dated someone who I'd been friends with for years, it didn't turn out well. Yeah sure, I knew the bad and good things about them. But that's a double edged sword, because they figured that I would 'be okay with' the same things now that we were in a relationship. There was nothing new for me to learn about him and no bonding experiences that could help us know each other deeper/better, because we already knew each other incredibly well. He wouldn't shut up about his ex before or during our relationship. I gave him an ultimatum and he only continued. I broke up with him and then became an ex he won't shut up about. \nHowever, when I met my current long distance partner, we only knew each other a month before getting together, as there was relatively quick mutual attraction. Our relationship is now 5 years strong and learning new things about them is/has been a bonding experience that I didn't have with the aforementioned ex of mine.\nSo, I think this isn't true in all cases.",
">\n\nI think you don't mean the strongest but safest. All of the things you mentioned are found in long term partners of dating apps and such as well, but of course they also might not be.\nWhat you're describing is every long term relationship. The trust building, the friendship. And yes you don't always find that on dating apps vs being friends first. But dating apps offer you a large pool to chose from which is generally much larger than your friend group.\nBut you also have to remember the downsides of dating a friend too. If it doesn't work out what happens to your friendship or friend group? Were you just friends to get close enough to date because that's kinda shitty. Not to mention it's hard to know if they're actually like you or don't want to lose a friend so go along with it.",
">\n\nNot for me, I've been with A LOT of people, I've dated a few as well. My current gf and future wife met when she came into my shop to get piercings done with her friends, she called the shop afterwards and we had sex the next day. We have been dating ever since ( 3 years ) and she Is the first woman I trust completely and feel comfortable and know I want to spend my entire life with her, my last relationship was 9 years, we were friends before that, the one before that was 6 years, also friends before. So, no, there really is no rules for making the \"perfect relationship\". My \"one night stand\" turned into the woman im going to spend my life with. Seems others have pointed this out as well. This is projection",
">\n\nMy friend found his first girlfriend on Tindr and she was an abusive narcassist (he left her thank god)\nI was a platonic friend with my bf for 3 years before dating him, and we love each other so fucking much",
">\n\nGood for you!\nNonetheless, all scenarios exist around the same percentage:\n- starting as friends becoming good romantic\n- starting as friends and not being good romantic partners\n- starting as a date/lust and becoming good romantically\n- starting as a date/lust and it does not work out",
">\n\nNot the same percentage, OP is right that you'll find a fulfilling relationship more often in person and starting off as friends.",
">\n\nNot that I don’t believe you, but do you have a source?\nThe best relationships I know are from people in the middle: dating, never knew (or interacted with) each other but taking it slow. People who jump too quickly end up fighting, and the people who were friends for so long do manage, but at the end it seems they do divorce because the spark is gone\nAgain, got no proof for that. Just what it seems",
">\n\nYou're asking me for sauce and yet you have failed to provide sauce yourself for your claim that all relationship types are equally occuring. You can only make a subjetive opinion on the matter and our views will be completely different because experiences are uniaue to the individual.\nPeople who enter marriages quickly end up leaving soon because they failed to know each other better. But instead of dating, they could've literally been friends for a long time and that qualifies for 'getting to know each other' and so jumping into marriage might end up being long term. I guess its dofferent for everyone, but I always wanted to meet my partner in real life either at study or work because I know we would be similar on those grounds. I did and I'm happy, and I'm happy because I got to know him more in the safe friendzone. It was a slow process but it was worth it.",
">\n\nI somewhat agree, but not everyone is lucky enough to have or can stay in social circles where you find your s/o.",
">\n\nI think it kinda boils down to the question, what was first, egg or chicken. You won't have full romantic relationship without sex and the same goes for lust based ones only.\nThis is bit of a myth that you can grow yourself a partner, especially after teenage phase, so you either hit or not into someone compatible making it a luck game, requiring lot of volume to get some points. You can start with passionate sex and just score the best partner in the world or you can start with friendship and never make it till some phase.",
">\n\nIs their proof because my evidence says every time u do that she cheats and you lose a good friend",
">\n\nI actually don't think this is as unpopular as you might think. I think at least some people looking for a steamy romance are not necessarily thinking about a life partner, which is totally ok. In the context of looking for a life partner, this seems pretty common.\nThat said, there are some cases where I'd strongly disagree. Dating allows you to filter people out who have definite life incompatibilities with you. Falling for your friends is great if your friend is compatible with you, but sometimes they're not. I've fallen in love with two close friends, neither who I ever would have gone on a date with (both of them fell for me back). In the end, the friendships turned toxic and fell apart because we wanted things from each other that we actually weren't willing to give, given what we wanted from life. I've honestly had much better luck falling in lust with someone, hanging out with them to see if we're baseline compatible, if not long term, and going from there. This isn't like a one-size-fits-all, but there are definite reasons to date strangers.",
">\n\nI’m in a 5 year relationship with someone who I was friends with. I knew him for like ten years now. I do disagree tho, we definitely had a honeymoon phase",
">\n\nNo. This type of shit is what leads mfs that you just want to be friends with to have some false ass hope for the future. I hate this and if someone just wants to be friends they just want to be friends. I'm not saying it never happens but 9/10 if you don't see them that way..... you never will",
">\n\nI started dating my now wife after we were friends for four years. Sparks are overrated.",
">\n\nI wasn't looking for a relationship. Eventually it just happened.",
">\n\nI fell for my husband after being friends for seven months. I had no initial attraction to him, we were just in the same field in doctoral school and interacted a lot. I was actually in another relationship when I first met him. It wasn’t until we worked closely together and got to know each other on a deeper level months later that a spark started to form. After all those months, I suddenly felt such a deep attraction to him I couldn’t ignore it. \nAll of my previous relationships were like that too. I have never felt instant attraction to any person. It always had to grow with time.",
">\n\nThat's how it worked out for me.",
">\n\nI already knew all of those things about my wife because I was working a crap job for low pay when we met. The entire reason I went back to school was for her. It still took four more years to finish my degree and I didn’t have very much money or time between work and school. She stuck with me through those hard times. I didn’t have to just be her friend but she definitely let it be known that she wouldn’t marry me until I finished college. :)",
">\n\nVery true in my case. I didn’t notice him for years. Then we were just friends. Then best friends. Then best friends that say “I love you” to each-other. But finally i resized my true feelings. Ive been with him 2 long years. I wish I loved him sooner because he’s amazing.",
">\n\nThey make for the most difficult breakups, too.",
">\n\nMaybe, but I dont ruin friendships cuz they are valuable so no.",
">\n\nThis is so true. Friends first! I met my fiance on Facebook through our college class group. I dm'd her first and we spoke for three months as really good friends before meeting in person in the fall. That first week we clicked and knew our intentions. We never expected to date. Fast forward 10 years later ( including 3 years of long distance), we have been living together for two years and get married in Oct. Til this day we love each other very much, and is because we see each other as best friends before partners.",
">\n\nBurying the lede, it’s just better than apps, which are fake as fuck and inflate your self worth.",
">\n\nTrue imo the best relationships are the ones where both partners fully trust and know each other's",
">\n\nI agree, but also because I cannot develop feelings or a spark for someone without knowing them for a long time first. I have never just met a person and instantly had feelings for them.",
">\n\nCompletely the opposite in my opinion. Getting to know someone and having instant sparks and slowly falling in love as you get to know more about them is the best feeling in the world. Often times friends first also break up its just a lot more traumatic and you run a lot more risks about breaking up your friend group and stuff like that.",
">\n\nI disagree. The worst relationship i had was with my best friend. She and i were so fucking toxic to each other, that when we broke up and still had to see each other (Same group of friends), we had to wait 5 years until we were ready to be friends again. \nTo all my fellow guys, don't date your female best friend, you'll end up losing a good friend",
">\n\nI think for some people it’s hard to break out of the mindset once you become friends that this person is meant for friendship. After categorizing some people as friends and others as potential love interests, it’s hard to break that boundary in your head.",
">\n\nIf the relationship ended as not platonic then it was never platonic",
">\n\nThe two best relationships I had were with people who we lived together first, became friends, and then lovers, and then partners. They were really sweet relationships and I hold them close to my heart. \nBecause of this, my rule of thumb is friends first, lovers second and it’s never failed me.",
">\n\nMy rule of thumb is the same, too. All for reasons outlined in this post.",
">\n\nYou are in the friend zone aren't you",
">\n\nStrong disagree. Platonic friendships lead to chemistry-less marriages. Was definitely not friends with my husband before we got married, fancied him too much and still do",
">\n\nThat big crazy love feeling is what attaches us to a person. It’s like a drug and our brain will remember what gave us that feeling while our hearts will tell the brain to keep pursing that person who gave us that good feeling, logical or not. When bad things keep happening in a relationship that good feeling gets over weighed by the bad and that this person is now seen as someone who causes bad feelings instead.. or danger in our brain. Some relationships work out some don’t, you have to remember we hear more about those that don’t then do.\nPeople who are strongly attracted to each other can’t be just friends, nature won’t allow it. They either stop being friends, set boundaries, or give in. I feel like those who started platonic friends means one usually likes the other more then the other does and is looking for security and safety more then chemistry and happiness.",
">\n\nNah, for some of us to get that “in love” feeling we have to know someone for a long time. I never just meet someone and feel anything for them. It took me seven months of friendship to fall for my now husband, but when I finally did, it was every bit as powerful and very much that “drug addicted spark” feeling that you are describing. So I think we are all just different with this.",
">\n\nTook y’all 7 months to give in is all I’m hearing. You felt connection towards each other.",
">\n\nNope, I legitimately was not interested in him in the beginning. I didn’t even find him physically appealing at first. Something changed once I started to interact more with him and got to know his mind over months.\nAnd every other relationship I’ve had has been the same. I have never once felt instant connection to a person. It always takes a long time for it to set in. I need that mental connection and build up.",
">\n\nThat’s still the same thing to me. you got to know him even as friends you developed feelings for him.",
">\n\nYes, but the point is that it happened after months of friendship first, not at the forefront. Which is why many people prefer to start platonically and let things develop.",
">\n\nI’m not sure this is an unpopular opinion….",
">\n\nIt neither popular nor unpopular. Some friendships work out romantically. Other people meet and they have been married 20+ years. No one is better",
">\n\nNah, all happy long-term couples I know started as a romantic relationship. I don't even know how you could have a long platonic friendship and then suddenly feel romantic love and sexual attraction if that wasn't there from the start. If there was romantic connection all along, then you were never friends, you were just taking it slow.",
">\n\nis it weird that I don't believe that relationship between partners can ever be 100% platonic? it is not to disagree with your point, but the initial interest into the engagement must be as least sexual or romantic at some point. It is not to say that it is all that simple, but being a man and having 24/7 urges makes me question dudes who are just friends with female/they them counterpart.",
">\n\nYour urges are entirely your own",
">\n\nyes but my point is that in the heart any interaction that extends to the friendship department among opposite genders are usually have at least of a pretext of a romantic/sexual interest.\nthe interplay of those tensions create the pretext for extending the relationship.\nit is not to say that while getting to know someone you might loose/ or lessen that desire and it can be replaced by the deep bond, but once that bond officially ends in sexual/romantic territory, you cannot agrue in good faith that you were \"just\" friends.",
">\n\nCommon sense, not an unpopular opinion. Love at first sight is not that common, and often doesn't lead to anything anyway. You have to get to know a person before a romance can really start.",
">\n\nWe started as a one night stand, and met every day after, been together for 11 now, so I have to disagree lol.",
">\n\n11 days? I'm impressed \n/s ik what you meant",
">\n\nAha, nice one. Yeah I should have wrote years",
">\n\nI guess.\nPeople are vain and horny.\npeople overestimate their own worth.\nFriendship between men and women are not meant to be.\nDifferent values, expectations, eventually someone gets taken for granted \nHow fucking starved for affection people are.\nIn a ideal world people have healthy relation and friends slowly turning lovers.\nYet we need that dopamine tho.",
">\n\nYe",
">\n\nI don’t know… lots of women seem to get upset, if they are asked out by their friends",
">\n\nBut if that relationship ends poorly you end up losing a great friend."
] |
>
Me and my wife started as friends, we have been together nearly 20 years. And yes, there is a honeymoon phase. | [
"I was good friends with my husband for about 8 years before we started dating. I think we both just needed to grow up a bit. But when we told our friend group we started dating the general reactions was \"about time!\" So I guess it was obvious to everyone but us lol.",
">\n\nMe and my first wife were like rhat",
">\n\nThen what happened?",
">\n\nThen you get told \"I wish I met someone like you.\"",
">\n\nThey make for the most difficult breakups,",
">\n\nSometimes. A better phrase would be that the strongest romantic relationships are also the strongest friendships.\nAlso The honeymoon phase is all relationships. Friendships and lovers. It tends to stop in all relationship when kids get involved 😬",
">\n\nEh, I agree with OP and think it's unpopular because the number of people who meet this way is plummeting, so the acknowledgement makes those people feel insecure.\nOf course you can start a relationship romantically and have it remain successful indefinitely as long as you also build friendship along the way. But there are two key areas this method can never truly replicate:\n\n\nHaving your respect for someone develop 100% independently of your attraction to them. I know a fair number of couples that can't seem to untangle respect and attraction. So when their partner falls in attractiveness it also lowers their overall respect for them. Sometimes that tracks... But sometimes it doesn't (for example, after kids when both people are too tired muster much attraction). Eventually, it leads to problems.\n\n\nAccountability. When you meet through and share a community, there are repercussions for acting a fool. When your only connection to each other is your relationship, there is less incentive to remain civil because you won't be judged/punished by 3rd parties if you don't.\n\n\nIf you look at the complaints that GenZ and younger Millennials have about dating, a lot them can be summed up as \"I'm being treated like a commodity, not like a person.\" Having mutual social ties prevents a lot of that.\nI 100% agree with you about the Honeymoon phase though. After 3 years of being close friends, I started dating my now fiance. Strongest Honeymoon phase I've ever experienced, and also the longest - it's yet to end two years in (and we won't be having kids, so maybe it never will).",
">\n\nIf you meet somebody you’re attracted to, there is no reason you can’t build your romantic relationship along with your friendship. This is typically what i did in all of my relationships. If we couldn’t connect on a more in depth way than attraction, the relationship didn’t last long enough to even call it a relationship. \nA romantic relationship isn’t different than any other except romantic ones tend to involve people feeling more intimate with each other. But it’s the same as if you meet somebody you could never be attracted to. You get to know them. It’s all just regular relationship stuff. If you get into a relationship and don’t bond with that person, friendship or romantic or even family, it doesn’t matter. It’s going to be a fail",
">\n\nI met my wife in a bar. I was drunk as shit and my pickup line was \"You're cute, wanna make out?\"\nShe said \"hell no\", but I talked to her again the next day when I was sober and we hit it off instantly. \nI think the best relationships just don't involve the games, or one person chasing until the other finally settles and gives in.",
">\n\nThis is at least plausible. I agree that the strongest romantic relationships contain an element of robust friendship, but I'm not sure that you need to START like this first. It's possible to develop romance and friendship concurrently.",
">\n\n\nIt's possible to develop romance and friendship concurrently.\n\nI really think this is what happened between my wife and I. We met online gaming in 2000. That doesn't sound revolutinary by today's standards but then it was. We talked more and more and it just kind of developed that we were friends, then it moved to RL and not just games. We became best friends and lovers all at the same time. Been together ever since.",
">\n\n\nWe met online gaming in 2000. Been together ever since.\n\nDon't give redditors too much hope..\njk congrats!",
">\n\nLOL. It was a text based online trivia game. No photos no voice. Just text. You really get to know someone that way. No distractions.",
">\n\nAgreeable. I wouldnt say \"The strongest romantic relationships\" HAVE to start that way, but the ones that do tend to be strong romantic relationships.",
">\n\nI think you’re projecting. My 25 years-and-counting relationship with my wife started out on a foundation of raw, animalistic lust.",
">\n\nBut on the other hand there are plenty of people that are best friends, try to date and realize they have no romantic thing, and afterwards it's getting weird etc. \nYou need a romantic and friendship-base, if you want to stay happy togehter. But what comes first is basically irrelevant.",
">\n\nThat’s great since every time I’ve caught feelings for a friend I also lost them as a friend",
">\n\nThe trick is to not stare at them intently for too long at a time",
">\n\nPeople struggle with dating because of these types of opinions. There is no one way to develop a good relationship, there are many. And one way that works for some people can be the exact reason it fails for others. It depends on everyone involved.",
">\n\nTotally agree, I was friends with my wife for 2 years before we began dating. We will be having our 15th wedding anniversary in a couple weeks.",
">\n\nCongratulations! Yay for best friends!!",
">\n\nI sorta disagree, from personal experience.\nWhen I dated someone who I'd been friends with for years, it didn't turn out well. Yeah sure, I knew the bad and good things about them. But that's a double edged sword, because they figured that I would 'be okay with' the same things now that we were in a relationship. There was nothing new for me to learn about him and no bonding experiences that could help us know each other deeper/better, because we already knew each other incredibly well. He wouldn't shut up about his ex before or during our relationship. I gave him an ultimatum and he only continued. I broke up with him and then became an ex he won't shut up about. \nHowever, when I met my current long distance partner, we only knew each other a month before getting together, as there was relatively quick mutual attraction. Our relationship is now 5 years strong and learning new things about them is/has been a bonding experience that I didn't have with the aforementioned ex of mine.\nSo, I think this isn't true in all cases.",
">\n\nI think you don't mean the strongest but safest. All of the things you mentioned are found in long term partners of dating apps and such as well, but of course they also might not be.\nWhat you're describing is every long term relationship. The trust building, the friendship. And yes you don't always find that on dating apps vs being friends first. But dating apps offer you a large pool to chose from which is generally much larger than your friend group.\nBut you also have to remember the downsides of dating a friend too. If it doesn't work out what happens to your friendship or friend group? Were you just friends to get close enough to date because that's kinda shitty. Not to mention it's hard to know if they're actually like you or don't want to lose a friend so go along with it.",
">\n\nNot for me, I've been with A LOT of people, I've dated a few as well. My current gf and future wife met when she came into my shop to get piercings done with her friends, she called the shop afterwards and we had sex the next day. We have been dating ever since ( 3 years ) and she Is the first woman I trust completely and feel comfortable and know I want to spend my entire life with her, my last relationship was 9 years, we were friends before that, the one before that was 6 years, also friends before. So, no, there really is no rules for making the \"perfect relationship\". My \"one night stand\" turned into the woman im going to spend my life with. Seems others have pointed this out as well. This is projection",
">\n\nMy friend found his first girlfriend on Tindr and she was an abusive narcassist (he left her thank god)\nI was a platonic friend with my bf for 3 years before dating him, and we love each other so fucking much",
">\n\nGood for you!\nNonetheless, all scenarios exist around the same percentage:\n- starting as friends becoming good romantic\n- starting as friends and not being good romantic partners\n- starting as a date/lust and becoming good romantically\n- starting as a date/lust and it does not work out",
">\n\nNot the same percentage, OP is right that you'll find a fulfilling relationship more often in person and starting off as friends.",
">\n\nNot that I don’t believe you, but do you have a source?\nThe best relationships I know are from people in the middle: dating, never knew (or interacted with) each other but taking it slow. People who jump too quickly end up fighting, and the people who were friends for so long do manage, but at the end it seems they do divorce because the spark is gone\nAgain, got no proof for that. Just what it seems",
">\n\nYou're asking me for sauce and yet you have failed to provide sauce yourself for your claim that all relationship types are equally occuring. You can only make a subjetive opinion on the matter and our views will be completely different because experiences are uniaue to the individual.\nPeople who enter marriages quickly end up leaving soon because they failed to know each other better. But instead of dating, they could've literally been friends for a long time and that qualifies for 'getting to know each other' and so jumping into marriage might end up being long term. I guess its dofferent for everyone, but I always wanted to meet my partner in real life either at study or work because I know we would be similar on those grounds. I did and I'm happy, and I'm happy because I got to know him more in the safe friendzone. It was a slow process but it was worth it.",
">\n\nI somewhat agree, but not everyone is lucky enough to have or can stay in social circles where you find your s/o.",
">\n\nI think it kinda boils down to the question, what was first, egg or chicken. You won't have full romantic relationship without sex and the same goes for lust based ones only.\nThis is bit of a myth that you can grow yourself a partner, especially after teenage phase, so you either hit or not into someone compatible making it a luck game, requiring lot of volume to get some points. You can start with passionate sex and just score the best partner in the world or you can start with friendship and never make it till some phase.",
">\n\nIs their proof because my evidence says every time u do that she cheats and you lose a good friend",
">\n\nI actually don't think this is as unpopular as you might think. I think at least some people looking for a steamy romance are not necessarily thinking about a life partner, which is totally ok. In the context of looking for a life partner, this seems pretty common.\nThat said, there are some cases where I'd strongly disagree. Dating allows you to filter people out who have definite life incompatibilities with you. Falling for your friends is great if your friend is compatible with you, but sometimes they're not. I've fallen in love with two close friends, neither who I ever would have gone on a date with (both of them fell for me back). In the end, the friendships turned toxic and fell apart because we wanted things from each other that we actually weren't willing to give, given what we wanted from life. I've honestly had much better luck falling in lust with someone, hanging out with them to see if we're baseline compatible, if not long term, and going from there. This isn't like a one-size-fits-all, but there are definite reasons to date strangers.",
">\n\nI’m in a 5 year relationship with someone who I was friends with. I knew him for like ten years now. I do disagree tho, we definitely had a honeymoon phase",
">\n\nNo. This type of shit is what leads mfs that you just want to be friends with to have some false ass hope for the future. I hate this and if someone just wants to be friends they just want to be friends. I'm not saying it never happens but 9/10 if you don't see them that way..... you never will",
">\n\nI started dating my now wife after we were friends for four years. Sparks are overrated.",
">\n\nI wasn't looking for a relationship. Eventually it just happened.",
">\n\nI fell for my husband after being friends for seven months. I had no initial attraction to him, we were just in the same field in doctoral school and interacted a lot. I was actually in another relationship when I first met him. It wasn’t until we worked closely together and got to know each other on a deeper level months later that a spark started to form. After all those months, I suddenly felt such a deep attraction to him I couldn’t ignore it. \nAll of my previous relationships were like that too. I have never felt instant attraction to any person. It always had to grow with time.",
">\n\nThat's how it worked out for me.",
">\n\nI already knew all of those things about my wife because I was working a crap job for low pay when we met. The entire reason I went back to school was for her. It still took four more years to finish my degree and I didn’t have very much money or time between work and school. She stuck with me through those hard times. I didn’t have to just be her friend but she definitely let it be known that she wouldn’t marry me until I finished college. :)",
">\n\nVery true in my case. I didn’t notice him for years. Then we were just friends. Then best friends. Then best friends that say “I love you” to each-other. But finally i resized my true feelings. Ive been with him 2 long years. I wish I loved him sooner because he’s amazing.",
">\n\nThey make for the most difficult breakups, too.",
">\n\nMaybe, but I dont ruin friendships cuz they are valuable so no.",
">\n\nThis is so true. Friends first! I met my fiance on Facebook through our college class group. I dm'd her first and we spoke for three months as really good friends before meeting in person in the fall. That first week we clicked and knew our intentions. We never expected to date. Fast forward 10 years later ( including 3 years of long distance), we have been living together for two years and get married in Oct. Til this day we love each other very much, and is because we see each other as best friends before partners.",
">\n\nBurying the lede, it’s just better than apps, which are fake as fuck and inflate your self worth.",
">\n\nTrue imo the best relationships are the ones where both partners fully trust and know each other's",
">\n\nI agree, but also because I cannot develop feelings or a spark for someone without knowing them for a long time first. I have never just met a person and instantly had feelings for them.",
">\n\nCompletely the opposite in my opinion. Getting to know someone and having instant sparks and slowly falling in love as you get to know more about them is the best feeling in the world. Often times friends first also break up its just a lot more traumatic and you run a lot more risks about breaking up your friend group and stuff like that.",
">\n\nI disagree. The worst relationship i had was with my best friend. She and i were so fucking toxic to each other, that when we broke up and still had to see each other (Same group of friends), we had to wait 5 years until we were ready to be friends again. \nTo all my fellow guys, don't date your female best friend, you'll end up losing a good friend",
">\n\nI think for some people it’s hard to break out of the mindset once you become friends that this person is meant for friendship. After categorizing some people as friends and others as potential love interests, it’s hard to break that boundary in your head.",
">\n\nIf the relationship ended as not platonic then it was never platonic",
">\n\nThe two best relationships I had were with people who we lived together first, became friends, and then lovers, and then partners. They were really sweet relationships and I hold them close to my heart. \nBecause of this, my rule of thumb is friends first, lovers second and it’s never failed me.",
">\n\nMy rule of thumb is the same, too. All for reasons outlined in this post.",
">\n\nYou are in the friend zone aren't you",
">\n\nStrong disagree. Platonic friendships lead to chemistry-less marriages. Was definitely not friends with my husband before we got married, fancied him too much and still do",
">\n\nThat big crazy love feeling is what attaches us to a person. It’s like a drug and our brain will remember what gave us that feeling while our hearts will tell the brain to keep pursing that person who gave us that good feeling, logical or not. When bad things keep happening in a relationship that good feeling gets over weighed by the bad and that this person is now seen as someone who causes bad feelings instead.. or danger in our brain. Some relationships work out some don’t, you have to remember we hear more about those that don’t then do.\nPeople who are strongly attracted to each other can’t be just friends, nature won’t allow it. They either stop being friends, set boundaries, or give in. I feel like those who started platonic friends means one usually likes the other more then the other does and is looking for security and safety more then chemistry and happiness.",
">\n\nNah, for some of us to get that “in love” feeling we have to know someone for a long time. I never just meet someone and feel anything for them. It took me seven months of friendship to fall for my now husband, but when I finally did, it was every bit as powerful and very much that “drug addicted spark” feeling that you are describing. So I think we are all just different with this.",
">\n\nTook y’all 7 months to give in is all I’m hearing. You felt connection towards each other.",
">\n\nNope, I legitimately was not interested in him in the beginning. I didn’t even find him physically appealing at first. Something changed once I started to interact more with him and got to know his mind over months.\nAnd every other relationship I’ve had has been the same. I have never once felt instant connection to a person. It always takes a long time for it to set in. I need that mental connection and build up.",
">\n\nThat’s still the same thing to me. you got to know him even as friends you developed feelings for him.",
">\n\nYes, but the point is that it happened after months of friendship first, not at the forefront. Which is why many people prefer to start platonically and let things develop.",
">\n\nI’m not sure this is an unpopular opinion….",
">\n\nIt neither popular nor unpopular. Some friendships work out romantically. Other people meet and they have been married 20+ years. No one is better",
">\n\nNah, all happy long-term couples I know started as a romantic relationship. I don't even know how you could have a long platonic friendship and then suddenly feel romantic love and sexual attraction if that wasn't there from the start. If there was romantic connection all along, then you were never friends, you were just taking it slow.",
">\n\nis it weird that I don't believe that relationship between partners can ever be 100% platonic? it is not to disagree with your point, but the initial interest into the engagement must be as least sexual or romantic at some point. It is not to say that it is all that simple, but being a man and having 24/7 urges makes me question dudes who are just friends with female/they them counterpart.",
">\n\nYour urges are entirely your own",
">\n\nyes but my point is that in the heart any interaction that extends to the friendship department among opposite genders are usually have at least of a pretext of a romantic/sexual interest.\nthe interplay of those tensions create the pretext for extending the relationship.\nit is not to say that while getting to know someone you might loose/ or lessen that desire and it can be replaced by the deep bond, but once that bond officially ends in sexual/romantic territory, you cannot agrue in good faith that you were \"just\" friends.",
">\n\nCommon sense, not an unpopular opinion. Love at first sight is not that common, and often doesn't lead to anything anyway. You have to get to know a person before a romance can really start.",
">\n\nWe started as a one night stand, and met every day after, been together for 11 now, so I have to disagree lol.",
">\n\n11 days? I'm impressed \n/s ik what you meant",
">\n\nAha, nice one. Yeah I should have wrote years",
">\n\nI guess.\nPeople are vain and horny.\npeople overestimate their own worth.\nFriendship between men and women are not meant to be.\nDifferent values, expectations, eventually someone gets taken for granted \nHow fucking starved for affection people are.\nIn a ideal world people have healthy relation and friends slowly turning lovers.\nYet we need that dopamine tho.",
">\n\nYe",
">\n\nI don’t know… lots of women seem to get upset, if they are asked out by their friends",
">\n\nBut if that relationship ends poorly you end up losing a great friend.",
">\n\nMy partner and I weren't friends before but we are definitely best friends now after nearly 20 years together"
] |
>
Enemies to lovers is the way to go :D | [
"I was good friends with my husband for about 8 years before we started dating. I think we both just needed to grow up a bit. But when we told our friend group we started dating the general reactions was \"about time!\" So I guess it was obvious to everyone but us lol.",
">\n\nMe and my first wife were like rhat",
">\n\nThen what happened?",
">\n\nThen you get told \"I wish I met someone like you.\"",
">\n\nThey make for the most difficult breakups,",
">\n\nSometimes. A better phrase would be that the strongest romantic relationships are also the strongest friendships.\nAlso The honeymoon phase is all relationships. Friendships and lovers. It tends to stop in all relationship when kids get involved 😬",
">\n\nEh, I agree with OP and think it's unpopular because the number of people who meet this way is plummeting, so the acknowledgement makes those people feel insecure.\nOf course you can start a relationship romantically and have it remain successful indefinitely as long as you also build friendship along the way. But there are two key areas this method can never truly replicate:\n\n\nHaving your respect for someone develop 100% independently of your attraction to them. I know a fair number of couples that can't seem to untangle respect and attraction. So when their partner falls in attractiveness it also lowers their overall respect for them. Sometimes that tracks... But sometimes it doesn't (for example, after kids when both people are too tired muster much attraction). Eventually, it leads to problems.\n\n\nAccountability. When you meet through and share a community, there are repercussions for acting a fool. When your only connection to each other is your relationship, there is less incentive to remain civil because you won't be judged/punished by 3rd parties if you don't.\n\n\nIf you look at the complaints that GenZ and younger Millennials have about dating, a lot them can be summed up as \"I'm being treated like a commodity, not like a person.\" Having mutual social ties prevents a lot of that.\nI 100% agree with you about the Honeymoon phase though. After 3 years of being close friends, I started dating my now fiance. Strongest Honeymoon phase I've ever experienced, and also the longest - it's yet to end two years in (and we won't be having kids, so maybe it never will).",
">\n\nIf you meet somebody you’re attracted to, there is no reason you can’t build your romantic relationship along with your friendship. This is typically what i did in all of my relationships. If we couldn’t connect on a more in depth way than attraction, the relationship didn’t last long enough to even call it a relationship. \nA romantic relationship isn’t different than any other except romantic ones tend to involve people feeling more intimate with each other. But it’s the same as if you meet somebody you could never be attracted to. You get to know them. It’s all just regular relationship stuff. If you get into a relationship and don’t bond with that person, friendship or romantic or even family, it doesn’t matter. It’s going to be a fail",
">\n\nI met my wife in a bar. I was drunk as shit and my pickup line was \"You're cute, wanna make out?\"\nShe said \"hell no\", but I talked to her again the next day when I was sober and we hit it off instantly. \nI think the best relationships just don't involve the games, or one person chasing until the other finally settles and gives in.",
">\n\nThis is at least plausible. I agree that the strongest romantic relationships contain an element of robust friendship, but I'm not sure that you need to START like this first. It's possible to develop romance and friendship concurrently.",
">\n\n\nIt's possible to develop romance and friendship concurrently.\n\nI really think this is what happened between my wife and I. We met online gaming in 2000. That doesn't sound revolutinary by today's standards but then it was. We talked more and more and it just kind of developed that we were friends, then it moved to RL and not just games. We became best friends and lovers all at the same time. Been together ever since.",
">\n\n\nWe met online gaming in 2000. Been together ever since.\n\nDon't give redditors too much hope..\njk congrats!",
">\n\nLOL. It was a text based online trivia game. No photos no voice. Just text. You really get to know someone that way. No distractions.",
">\n\nAgreeable. I wouldnt say \"The strongest romantic relationships\" HAVE to start that way, but the ones that do tend to be strong romantic relationships.",
">\n\nI think you’re projecting. My 25 years-and-counting relationship with my wife started out on a foundation of raw, animalistic lust.",
">\n\nBut on the other hand there are plenty of people that are best friends, try to date and realize they have no romantic thing, and afterwards it's getting weird etc. \nYou need a romantic and friendship-base, if you want to stay happy togehter. But what comes first is basically irrelevant.",
">\n\nThat’s great since every time I’ve caught feelings for a friend I also lost them as a friend",
">\n\nThe trick is to not stare at them intently for too long at a time",
">\n\nPeople struggle with dating because of these types of opinions. There is no one way to develop a good relationship, there are many. And one way that works for some people can be the exact reason it fails for others. It depends on everyone involved.",
">\n\nTotally agree, I was friends with my wife for 2 years before we began dating. We will be having our 15th wedding anniversary in a couple weeks.",
">\n\nCongratulations! Yay for best friends!!",
">\n\nI sorta disagree, from personal experience.\nWhen I dated someone who I'd been friends with for years, it didn't turn out well. Yeah sure, I knew the bad and good things about them. But that's a double edged sword, because they figured that I would 'be okay with' the same things now that we were in a relationship. There was nothing new for me to learn about him and no bonding experiences that could help us know each other deeper/better, because we already knew each other incredibly well. He wouldn't shut up about his ex before or during our relationship. I gave him an ultimatum and he only continued. I broke up with him and then became an ex he won't shut up about. \nHowever, when I met my current long distance partner, we only knew each other a month before getting together, as there was relatively quick mutual attraction. Our relationship is now 5 years strong and learning new things about them is/has been a bonding experience that I didn't have with the aforementioned ex of mine.\nSo, I think this isn't true in all cases.",
">\n\nI think you don't mean the strongest but safest. All of the things you mentioned are found in long term partners of dating apps and such as well, but of course they also might not be.\nWhat you're describing is every long term relationship. The trust building, the friendship. And yes you don't always find that on dating apps vs being friends first. But dating apps offer you a large pool to chose from which is generally much larger than your friend group.\nBut you also have to remember the downsides of dating a friend too. If it doesn't work out what happens to your friendship or friend group? Were you just friends to get close enough to date because that's kinda shitty. Not to mention it's hard to know if they're actually like you or don't want to lose a friend so go along with it.",
">\n\nNot for me, I've been with A LOT of people, I've dated a few as well. My current gf and future wife met when she came into my shop to get piercings done with her friends, she called the shop afterwards and we had sex the next day. We have been dating ever since ( 3 years ) and she Is the first woman I trust completely and feel comfortable and know I want to spend my entire life with her, my last relationship was 9 years, we were friends before that, the one before that was 6 years, also friends before. So, no, there really is no rules for making the \"perfect relationship\". My \"one night stand\" turned into the woman im going to spend my life with. Seems others have pointed this out as well. This is projection",
">\n\nMy friend found his first girlfriend on Tindr and she was an abusive narcassist (he left her thank god)\nI was a platonic friend with my bf for 3 years before dating him, and we love each other so fucking much",
">\n\nGood for you!\nNonetheless, all scenarios exist around the same percentage:\n- starting as friends becoming good romantic\n- starting as friends and not being good romantic partners\n- starting as a date/lust and becoming good romantically\n- starting as a date/lust and it does not work out",
">\n\nNot the same percentage, OP is right that you'll find a fulfilling relationship more often in person and starting off as friends.",
">\n\nNot that I don’t believe you, but do you have a source?\nThe best relationships I know are from people in the middle: dating, never knew (or interacted with) each other but taking it slow. People who jump too quickly end up fighting, and the people who were friends for so long do manage, but at the end it seems they do divorce because the spark is gone\nAgain, got no proof for that. Just what it seems",
">\n\nYou're asking me for sauce and yet you have failed to provide sauce yourself for your claim that all relationship types are equally occuring. You can only make a subjetive opinion on the matter and our views will be completely different because experiences are uniaue to the individual.\nPeople who enter marriages quickly end up leaving soon because they failed to know each other better. But instead of dating, they could've literally been friends for a long time and that qualifies for 'getting to know each other' and so jumping into marriage might end up being long term. I guess its dofferent for everyone, but I always wanted to meet my partner in real life either at study or work because I know we would be similar on those grounds. I did and I'm happy, and I'm happy because I got to know him more in the safe friendzone. It was a slow process but it was worth it.",
">\n\nI somewhat agree, but not everyone is lucky enough to have or can stay in social circles where you find your s/o.",
">\n\nI think it kinda boils down to the question, what was first, egg or chicken. You won't have full romantic relationship without sex and the same goes for lust based ones only.\nThis is bit of a myth that you can grow yourself a partner, especially after teenage phase, so you either hit or not into someone compatible making it a luck game, requiring lot of volume to get some points. You can start with passionate sex and just score the best partner in the world or you can start with friendship and never make it till some phase.",
">\n\nIs their proof because my evidence says every time u do that she cheats and you lose a good friend",
">\n\nI actually don't think this is as unpopular as you might think. I think at least some people looking for a steamy romance are not necessarily thinking about a life partner, which is totally ok. In the context of looking for a life partner, this seems pretty common.\nThat said, there are some cases where I'd strongly disagree. Dating allows you to filter people out who have definite life incompatibilities with you. Falling for your friends is great if your friend is compatible with you, but sometimes they're not. I've fallen in love with two close friends, neither who I ever would have gone on a date with (both of them fell for me back). In the end, the friendships turned toxic and fell apart because we wanted things from each other that we actually weren't willing to give, given what we wanted from life. I've honestly had much better luck falling in lust with someone, hanging out with them to see if we're baseline compatible, if not long term, and going from there. This isn't like a one-size-fits-all, but there are definite reasons to date strangers.",
">\n\nI’m in a 5 year relationship with someone who I was friends with. I knew him for like ten years now. I do disagree tho, we definitely had a honeymoon phase",
">\n\nNo. This type of shit is what leads mfs that you just want to be friends with to have some false ass hope for the future. I hate this and if someone just wants to be friends they just want to be friends. I'm not saying it never happens but 9/10 if you don't see them that way..... you never will",
">\n\nI started dating my now wife after we were friends for four years. Sparks are overrated.",
">\n\nI wasn't looking for a relationship. Eventually it just happened.",
">\n\nI fell for my husband after being friends for seven months. I had no initial attraction to him, we were just in the same field in doctoral school and interacted a lot. I was actually in another relationship when I first met him. It wasn’t until we worked closely together and got to know each other on a deeper level months later that a spark started to form. After all those months, I suddenly felt such a deep attraction to him I couldn’t ignore it. \nAll of my previous relationships were like that too. I have never felt instant attraction to any person. It always had to grow with time.",
">\n\nThat's how it worked out for me.",
">\n\nI already knew all of those things about my wife because I was working a crap job for low pay when we met. The entire reason I went back to school was for her. It still took four more years to finish my degree and I didn’t have very much money or time between work and school. She stuck with me through those hard times. I didn’t have to just be her friend but she definitely let it be known that she wouldn’t marry me until I finished college. :)",
">\n\nVery true in my case. I didn’t notice him for years. Then we were just friends. Then best friends. Then best friends that say “I love you” to each-other. But finally i resized my true feelings. Ive been with him 2 long years. I wish I loved him sooner because he’s amazing.",
">\n\nThey make for the most difficult breakups, too.",
">\n\nMaybe, but I dont ruin friendships cuz they are valuable so no.",
">\n\nThis is so true. Friends first! I met my fiance on Facebook through our college class group. I dm'd her first and we spoke for three months as really good friends before meeting in person in the fall. That first week we clicked and knew our intentions. We never expected to date. Fast forward 10 years later ( including 3 years of long distance), we have been living together for two years and get married in Oct. Til this day we love each other very much, and is because we see each other as best friends before partners.",
">\n\nBurying the lede, it’s just better than apps, which are fake as fuck and inflate your self worth.",
">\n\nTrue imo the best relationships are the ones where both partners fully trust and know each other's",
">\n\nI agree, but also because I cannot develop feelings or a spark for someone without knowing them for a long time first. I have never just met a person and instantly had feelings for them.",
">\n\nCompletely the opposite in my opinion. Getting to know someone and having instant sparks and slowly falling in love as you get to know more about them is the best feeling in the world. Often times friends first also break up its just a lot more traumatic and you run a lot more risks about breaking up your friend group and stuff like that.",
">\n\nI disagree. The worst relationship i had was with my best friend. She and i were so fucking toxic to each other, that when we broke up and still had to see each other (Same group of friends), we had to wait 5 years until we were ready to be friends again. \nTo all my fellow guys, don't date your female best friend, you'll end up losing a good friend",
">\n\nI think for some people it’s hard to break out of the mindset once you become friends that this person is meant for friendship. After categorizing some people as friends and others as potential love interests, it’s hard to break that boundary in your head.",
">\n\nIf the relationship ended as not platonic then it was never platonic",
">\n\nThe two best relationships I had were with people who we lived together first, became friends, and then lovers, and then partners. They were really sweet relationships and I hold them close to my heart. \nBecause of this, my rule of thumb is friends first, lovers second and it’s never failed me.",
">\n\nMy rule of thumb is the same, too. All for reasons outlined in this post.",
">\n\nYou are in the friend zone aren't you",
">\n\nStrong disagree. Platonic friendships lead to chemistry-less marriages. Was definitely not friends with my husband before we got married, fancied him too much and still do",
">\n\nThat big crazy love feeling is what attaches us to a person. It’s like a drug and our brain will remember what gave us that feeling while our hearts will tell the brain to keep pursing that person who gave us that good feeling, logical or not. When bad things keep happening in a relationship that good feeling gets over weighed by the bad and that this person is now seen as someone who causes bad feelings instead.. or danger in our brain. Some relationships work out some don’t, you have to remember we hear more about those that don’t then do.\nPeople who are strongly attracted to each other can’t be just friends, nature won’t allow it. They either stop being friends, set boundaries, or give in. I feel like those who started platonic friends means one usually likes the other more then the other does and is looking for security and safety more then chemistry and happiness.",
">\n\nNah, for some of us to get that “in love” feeling we have to know someone for a long time. I never just meet someone and feel anything for them. It took me seven months of friendship to fall for my now husband, but when I finally did, it was every bit as powerful and very much that “drug addicted spark” feeling that you are describing. So I think we are all just different with this.",
">\n\nTook y’all 7 months to give in is all I’m hearing. You felt connection towards each other.",
">\n\nNope, I legitimately was not interested in him in the beginning. I didn’t even find him physically appealing at first. Something changed once I started to interact more with him and got to know his mind over months.\nAnd every other relationship I’ve had has been the same. I have never once felt instant connection to a person. It always takes a long time for it to set in. I need that mental connection and build up.",
">\n\nThat’s still the same thing to me. you got to know him even as friends you developed feelings for him.",
">\n\nYes, but the point is that it happened after months of friendship first, not at the forefront. Which is why many people prefer to start platonically and let things develop.",
">\n\nI’m not sure this is an unpopular opinion….",
">\n\nIt neither popular nor unpopular. Some friendships work out romantically. Other people meet and they have been married 20+ years. No one is better",
">\n\nNah, all happy long-term couples I know started as a romantic relationship. I don't even know how you could have a long platonic friendship and then suddenly feel romantic love and sexual attraction if that wasn't there from the start. If there was romantic connection all along, then you were never friends, you were just taking it slow.",
">\n\nis it weird that I don't believe that relationship between partners can ever be 100% platonic? it is not to disagree with your point, but the initial interest into the engagement must be as least sexual or romantic at some point. It is not to say that it is all that simple, but being a man and having 24/7 urges makes me question dudes who are just friends with female/they them counterpart.",
">\n\nYour urges are entirely your own",
">\n\nyes but my point is that in the heart any interaction that extends to the friendship department among opposite genders are usually have at least of a pretext of a romantic/sexual interest.\nthe interplay of those tensions create the pretext for extending the relationship.\nit is not to say that while getting to know someone you might loose/ or lessen that desire and it can be replaced by the deep bond, but once that bond officially ends in sexual/romantic territory, you cannot agrue in good faith that you were \"just\" friends.",
">\n\nCommon sense, not an unpopular opinion. Love at first sight is not that common, and often doesn't lead to anything anyway. You have to get to know a person before a romance can really start.",
">\n\nWe started as a one night stand, and met every day after, been together for 11 now, so I have to disagree lol.",
">\n\n11 days? I'm impressed \n/s ik what you meant",
">\n\nAha, nice one. Yeah I should have wrote years",
">\n\nI guess.\nPeople are vain and horny.\npeople overestimate their own worth.\nFriendship between men and women are not meant to be.\nDifferent values, expectations, eventually someone gets taken for granted \nHow fucking starved for affection people are.\nIn a ideal world people have healthy relation and friends slowly turning lovers.\nYet we need that dopamine tho.",
">\n\nYe",
">\n\nI don’t know… lots of women seem to get upset, if they are asked out by their friends",
">\n\nBut if that relationship ends poorly you end up losing a great friend.",
">\n\nMy partner and I weren't friends before but we are definitely best friends now after nearly 20 years together",
">\n\nMe and my wife started as friends, we have been together nearly 20 years. And yes, there is a honeymoon phase."
] |
>
Yeah, the challenge is getting into a friendship with someone of the opposite sex | [
"I was good friends with my husband for about 8 years before we started dating. I think we both just needed to grow up a bit. But when we told our friend group we started dating the general reactions was \"about time!\" So I guess it was obvious to everyone but us lol.",
">\n\nMe and my first wife were like rhat",
">\n\nThen what happened?",
">\n\nThen you get told \"I wish I met someone like you.\"",
">\n\nThey make for the most difficult breakups,",
">\n\nSometimes. A better phrase would be that the strongest romantic relationships are also the strongest friendships.\nAlso The honeymoon phase is all relationships. Friendships and lovers. It tends to stop in all relationship when kids get involved 😬",
">\n\nEh, I agree with OP and think it's unpopular because the number of people who meet this way is plummeting, so the acknowledgement makes those people feel insecure.\nOf course you can start a relationship romantically and have it remain successful indefinitely as long as you also build friendship along the way. But there are two key areas this method can never truly replicate:\n\n\nHaving your respect for someone develop 100% independently of your attraction to them. I know a fair number of couples that can't seem to untangle respect and attraction. So when their partner falls in attractiveness it also lowers their overall respect for them. Sometimes that tracks... But sometimes it doesn't (for example, after kids when both people are too tired muster much attraction). Eventually, it leads to problems.\n\n\nAccountability. When you meet through and share a community, there are repercussions for acting a fool. When your only connection to each other is your relationship, there is less incentive to remain civil because you won't be judged/punished by 3rd parties if you don't.\n\n\nIf you look at the complaints that GenZ and younger Millennials have about dating, a lot them can be summed up as \"I'm being treated like a commodity, not like a person.\" Having mutual social ties prevents a lot of that.\nI 100% agree with you about the Honeymoon phase though. After 3 years of being close friends, I started dating my now fiance. Strongest Honeymoon phase I've ever experienced, and also the longest - it's yet to end two years in (and we won't be having kids, so maybe it never will).",
">\n\nIf you meet somebody you’re attracted to, there is no reason you can’t build your romantic relationship along with your friendship. This is typically what i did in all of my relationships. If we couldn’t connect on a more in depth way than attraction, the relationship didn’t last long enough to even call it a relationship. \nA romantic relationship isn’t different than any other except romantic ones tend to involve people feeling more intimate with each other. But it’s the same as if you meet somebody you could never be attracted to. You get to know them. It’s all just regular relationship stuff. If you get into a relationship and don’t bond with that person, friendship or romantic or even family, it doesn’t matter. It’s going to be a fail",
">\n\nI met my wife in a bar. I was drunk as shit and my pickup line was \"You're cute, wanna make out?\"\nShe said \"hell no\", but I talked to her again the next day when I was sober and we hit it off instantly. \nI think the best relationships just don't involve the games, or one person chasing until the other finally settles and gives in.",
">\n\nThis is at least plausible. I agree that the strongest romantic relationships contain an element of robust friendship, but I'm not sure that you need to START like this first. It's possible to develop romance and friendship concurrently.",
">\n\n\nIt's possible to develop romance and friendship concurrently.\n\nI really think this is what happened between my wife and I. We met online gaming in 2000. That doesn't sound revolutinary by today's standards but then it was. We talked more and more and it just kind of developed that we were friends, then it moved to RL and not just games. We became best friends and lovers all at the same time. Been together ever since.",
">\n\n\nWe met online gaming in 2000. Been together ever since.\n\nDon't give redditors too much hope..\njk congrats!",
">\n\nLOL. It was a text based online trivia game. No photos no voice. Just text. You really get to know someone that way. No distractions.",
">\n\nAgreeable. I wouldnt say \"The strongest romantic relationships\" HAVE to start that way, but the ones that do tend to be strong romantic relationships.",
">\n\nI think you’re projecting. My 25 years-and-counting relationship with my wife started out on a foundation of raw, animalistic lust.",
">\n\nBut on the other hand there are plenty of people that are best friends, try to date and realize they have no romantic thing, and afterwards it's getting weird etc. \nYou need a romantic and friendship-base, if you want to stay happy togehter. But what comes first is basically irrelevant.",
">\n\nThat’s great since every time I’ve caught feelings for a friend I also lost them as a friend",
">\n\nThe trick is to not stare at them intently for too long at a time",
">\n\nPeople struggle with dating because of these types of opinions. There is no one way to develop a good relationship, there are many. And one way that works for some people can be the exact reason it fails for others. It depends on everyone involved.",
">\n\nTotally agree, I was friends with my wife for 2 years before we began dating. We will be having our 15th wedding anniversary in a couple weeks.",
">\n\nCongratulations! Yay for best friends!!",
">\n\nI sorta disagree, from personal experience.\nWhen I dated someone who I'd been friends with for years, it didn't turn out well. Yeah sure, I knew the bad and good things about them. But that's a double edged sword, because they figured that I would 'be okay with' the same things now that we were in a relationship. There was nothing new for me to learn about him and no bonding experiences that could help us know each other deeper/better, because we already knew each other incredibly well. He wouldn't shut up about his ex before or during our relationship. I gave him an ultimatum and he only continued. I broke up with him and then became an ex he won't shut up about. \nHowever, when I met my current long distance partner, we only knew each other a month before getting together, as there was relatively quick mutual attraction. Our relationship is now 5 years strong and learning new things about them is/has been a bonding experience that I didn't have with the aforementioned ex of mine.\nSo, I think this isn't true in all cases.",
">\n\nI think you don't mean the strongest but safest. All of the things you mentioned are found in long term partners of dating apps and such as well, but of course they also might not be.\nWhat you're describing is every long term relationship. The trust building, the friendship. And yes you don't always find that on dating apps vs being friends first. But dating apps offer you a large pool to chose from which is generally much larger than your friend group.\nBut you also have to remember the downsides of dating a friend too. If it doesn't work out what happens to your friendship or friend group? Were you just friends to get close enough to date because that's kinda shitty. Not to mention it's hard to know if they're actually like you or don't want to lose a friend so go along with it.",
">\n\nNot for me, I've been with A LOT of people, I've dated a few as well. My current gf and future wife met when she came into my shop to get piercings done with her friends, she called the shop afterwards and we had sex the next day. We have been dating ever since ( 3 years ) and she Is the first woman I trust completely and feel comfortable and know I want to spend my entire life with her, my last relationship was 9 years, we were friends before that, the one before that was 6 years, also friends before. So, no, there really is no rules for making the \"perfect relationship\". My \"one night stand\" turned into the woman im going to spend my life with. Seems others have pointed this out as well. This is projection",
">\n\nMy friend found his first girlfriend on Tindr and she was an abusive narcassist (he left her thank god)\nI was a platonic friend with my bf for 3 years before dating him, and we love each other so fucking much",
">\n\nGood for you!\nNonetheless, all scenarios exist around the same percentage:\n- starting as friends becoming good romantic\n- starting as friends and not being good romantic partners\n- starting as a date/lust and becoming good romantically\n- starting as a date/lust and it does not work out",
">\n\nNot the same percentage, OP is right that you'll find a fulfilling relationship more often in person and starting off as friends.",
">\n\nNot that I don’t believe you, but do you have a source?\nThe best relationships I know are from people in the middle: dating, never knew (or interacted with) each other but taking it slow. People who jump too quickly end up fighting, and the people who were friends for so long do manage, but at the end it seems they do divorce because the spark is gone\nAgain, got no proof for that. Just what it seems",
">\n\nYou're asking me for sauce and yet you have failed to provide sauce yourself for your claim that all relationship types are equally occuring. You can only make a subjetive opinion on the matter and our views will be completely different because experiences are uniaue to the individual.\nPeople who enter marriages quickly end up leaving soon because they failed to know each other better. But instead of dating, they could've literally been friends for a long time and that qualifies for 'getting to know each other' and so jumping into marriage might end up being long term. I guess its dofferent for everyone, but I always wanted to meet my partner in real life either at study or work because I know we would be similar on those grounds. I did and I'm happy, and I'm happy because I got to know him more in the safe friendzone. It was a slow process but it was worth it.",
">\n\nI somewhat agree, but not everyone is lucky enough to have or can stay in social circles where you find your s/o.",
">\n\nI think it kinda boils down to the question, what was first, egg or chicken. You won't have full romantic relationship without sex and the same goes for lust based ones only.\nThis is bit of a myth that you can grow yourself a partner, especially after teenage phase, so you either hit or not into someone compatible making it a luck game, requiring lot of volume to get some points. You can start with passionate sex and just score the best partner in the world or you can start with friendship and never make it till some phase.",
">\n\nIs their proof because my evidence says every time u do that she cheats and you lose a good friend",
">\n\nI actually don't think this is as unpopular as you might think. I think at least some people looking for a steamy romance are not necessarily thinking about a life partner, which is totally ok. In the context of looking for a life partner, this seems pretty common.\nThat said, there are some cases where I'd strongly disagree. Dating allows you to filter people out who have definite life incompatibilities with you. Falling for your friends is great if your friend is compatible with you, but sometimes they're not. I've fallen in love with two close friends, neither who I ever would have gone on a date with (both of them fell for me back). In the end, the friendships turned toxic and fell apart because we wanted things from each other that we actually weren't willing to give, given what we wanted from life. I've honestly had much better luck falling in lust with someone, hanging out with them to see if we're baseline compatible, if not long term, and going from there. This isn't like a one-size-fits-all, but there are definite reasons to date strangers.",
">\n\nI’m in a 5 year relationship with someone who I was friends with. I knew him for like ten years now. I do disagree tho, we definitely had a honeymoon phase",
">\n\nNo. This type of shit is what leads mfs that you just want to be friends with to have some false ass hope for the future. I hate this and if someone just wants to be friends they just want to be friends. I'm not saying it never happens but 9/10 if you don't see them that way..... you never will",
">\n\nI started dating my now wife after we were friends for four years. Sparks are overrated.",
">\n\nI wasn't looking for a relationship. Eventually it just happened.",
">\n\nI fell for my husband after being friends for seven months. I had no initial attraction to him, we were just in the same field in doctoral school and interacted a lot. I was actually in another relationship when I first met him. It wasn’t until we worked closely together and got to know each other on a deeper level months later that a spark started to form. After all those months, I suddenly felt such a deep attraction to him I couldn’t ignore it. \nAll of my previous relationships were like that too. I have never felt instant attraction to any person. It always had to grow with time.",
">\n\nThat's how it worked out for me.",
">\n\nI already knew all of those things about my wife because I was working a crap job for low pay when we met. The entire reason I went back to school was for her. It still took four more years to finish my degree and I didn’t have very much money or time between work and school. She stuck with me through those hard times. I didn’t have to just be her friend but she definitely let it be known that she wouldn’t marry me until I finished college. :)",
">\n\nVery true in my case. I didn’t notice him for years. Then we were just friends. Then best friends. Then best friends that say “I love you” to each-other. But finally i resized my true feelings. Ive been with him 2 long years. I wish I loved him sooner because he’s amazing.",
">\n\nThey make for the most difficult breakups, too.",
">\n\nMaybe, but I dont ruin friendships cuz they are valuable so no.",
">\n\nThis is so true. Friends first! I met my fiance on Facebook through our college class group. I dm'd her first and we spoke for three months as really good friends before meeting in person in the fall. That first week we clicked and knew our intentions. We never expected to date. Fast forward 10 years later ( including 3 years of long distance), we have been living together for two years and get married in Oct. Til this day we love each other very much, and is because we see each other as best friends before partners.",
">\n\nBurying the lede, it’s just better than apps, which are fake as fuck and inflate your self worth.",
">\n\nTrue imo the best relationships are the ones where both partners fully trust and know each other's",
">\n\nI agree, but also because I cannot develop feelings or a spark for someone without knowing them for a long time first. I have never just met a person and instantly had feelings for them.",
">\n\nCompletely the opposite in my opinion. Getting to know someone and having instant sparks and slowly falling in love as you get to know more about them is the best feeling in the world. Often times friends first also break up its just a lot more traumatic and you run a lot more risks about breaking up your friend group and stuff like that.",
">\n\nI disagree. The worst relationship i had was with my best friend. She and i were so fucking toxic to each other, that when we broke up and still had to see each other (Same group of friends), we had to wait 5 years until we were ready to be friends again. \nTo all my fellow guys, don't date your female best friend, you'll end up losing a good friend",
">\n\nI think for some people it’s hard to break out of the mindset once you become friends that this person is meant for friendship. After categorizing some people as friends and others as potential love interests, it’s hard to break that boundary in your head.",
">\n\nIf the relationship ended as not platonic then it was never platonic",
">\n\nThe two best relationships I had were with people who we lived together first, became friends, and then lovers, and then partners. They were really sweet relationships and I hold them close to my heart. \nBecause of this, my rule of thumb is friends first, lovers second and it’s never failed me.",
">\n\nMy rule of thumb is the same, too. All for reasons outlined in this post.",
">\n\nYou are in the friend zone aren't you",
">\n\nStrong disagree. Platonic friendships lead to chemistry-less marriages. Was definitely not friends with my husband before we got married, fancied him too much and still do",
">\n\nThat big crazy love feeling is what attaches us to a person. It’s like a drug and our brain will remember what gave us that feeling while our hearts will tell the brain to keep pursing that person who gave us that good feeling, logical or not. When bad things keep happening in a relationship that good feeling gets over weighed by the bad and that this person is now seen as someone who causes bad feelings instead.. or danger in our brain. Some relationships work out some don’t, you have to remember we hear more about those that don’t then do.\nPeople who are strongly attracted to each other can’t be just friends, nature won’t allow it. They either stop being friends, set boundaries, or give in. I feel like those who started platonic friends means one usually likes the other more then the other does and is looking for security and safety more then chemistry and happiness.",
">\n\nNah, for some of us to get that “in love” feeling we have to know someone for a long time. I never just meet someone and feel anything for them. It took me seven months of friendship to fall for my now husband, but when I finally did, it was every bit as powerful and very much that “drug addicted spark” feeling that you are describing. So I think we are all just different with this.",
">\n\nTook y’all 7 months to give in is all I’m hearing. You felt connection towards each other.",
">\n\nNope, I legitimately was not interested in him in the beginning. I didn’t even find him physically appealing at first. Something changed once I started to interact more with him and got to know his mind over months.\nAnd every other relationship I’ve had has been the same. I have never once felt instant connection to a person. It always takes a long time for it to set in. I need that mental connection and build up.",
">\n\nThat’s still the same thing to me. you got to know him even as friends you developed feelings for him.",
">\n\nYes, but the point is that it happened after months of friendship first, not at the forefront. Which is why many people prefer to start platonically and let things develop.",
">\n\nI’m not sure this is an unpopular opinion….",
">\n\nIt neither popular nor unpopular. Some friendships work out romantically. Other people meet and they have been married 20+ years. No one is better",
">\n\nNah, all happy long-term couples I know started as a romantic relationship. I don't even know how you could have a long platonic friendship and then suddenly feel romantic love and sexual attraction if that wasn't there from the start. If there was romantic connection all along, then you were never friends, you were just taking it slow.",
">\n\nis it weird that I don't believe that relationship between partners can ever be 100% platonic? it is not to disagree with your point, but the initial interest into the engagement must be as least sexual or romantic at some point. It is not to say that it is all that simple, but being a man and having 24/7 urges makes me question dudes who are just friends with female/they them counterpart.",
">\n\nYour urges are entirely your own",
">\n\nyes but my point is that in the heart any interaction that extends to the friendship department among opposite genders are usually have at least of a pretext of a romantic/sexual interest.\nthe interplay of those tensions create the pretext for extending the relationship.\nit is not to say that while getting to know someone you might loose/ or lessen that desire and it can be replaced by the deep bond, but once that bond officially ends in sexual/romantic territory, you cannot agrue in good faith that you were \"just\" friends.",
">\n\nCommon sense, not an unpopular opinion. Love at first sight is not that common, and often doesn't lead to anything anyway. You have to get to know a person before a romance can really start.",
">\n\nWe started as a one night stand, and met every day after, been together for 11 now, so I have to disagree lol.",
">\n\n11 days? I'm impressed \n/s ik what you meant",
">\n\nAha, nice one. Yeah I should have wrote years",
">\n\nI guess.\nPeople are vain and horny.\npeople overestimate their own worth.\nFriendship between men and women are not meant to be.\nDifferent values, expectations, eventually someone gets taken for granted \nHow fucking starved for affection people are.\nIn a ideal world people have healthy relation and friends slowly turning lovers.\nYet we need that dopamine tho.",
">\n\nYe",
">\n\nI don’t know… lots of women seem to get upset, if they are asked out by their friends",
">\n\nBut if that relationship ends poorly you end up losing a great friend.",
">\n\nMy partner and I weren't friends before but we are definitely best friends now after nearly 20 years together",
">\n\nMe and my wife started as friends, we have been together nearly 20 years. And yes, there is a honeymoon phase.",
">\n\nEnemies to lovers is the way to go :D"
] |
>
I dont like the way my friend smells. A relationship therapist says that’s Red flag. Not that they are bad there just won’t be any chemistry. | [
"I was good friends with my husband for about 8 years before we started dating. I think we both just needed to grow up a bit. But when we told our friend group we started dating the general reactions was \"about time!\" So I guess it was obvious to everyone but us lol.",
">\n\nMe and my first wife were like rhat",
">\n\nThen what happened?",
">\n\nThen you get told \"I wish I met someone like you.\"",
">\n\nThey make for the most difficult breakups,",
">\n\nSometimes. A better phrase would be that the strongest romantic relationships are also the strongest friendships.\nAlso The honeymoon phase is all relationships. Friendships and lovers. It tends to stop in all relationship when kids get involved 😬",
">\n\nEh, I agree with OP and think it's unpopular because the number of people who meet this way is plummeting, so the acknowledgement makes those people feel insecure.\nOf course you can start a relationship romantically and have it remain successful indefinitely as long as you also build friendship along the way. But there are two key areas this method can never truly replicate:\n\n\nHaving your respect for someone develop 100% independently of your attraction to them. I know a fair number of couples that can't seem to untangle respect and attraction. So when their partner falls in attractiveness it also lowers their overall respect for them. Sometimes that tracks... But sometimes it doesn't (for example, after kids when both people are too tired muster much attraction). Eventually, it leads to problems.\n\n\nAccountability. When you meet through and share a community, there are repercussions for acting a fool. When your only connection to each other is your relationship, there is less incentive to remain civil because you won't be judged/punished by 3rd parties if you don't.\n\n\nIf you look at the complaints that GenZ and younger Millennials have about dating, a lot them can be summed up as \"I'm being treated like a commodity, not like a person.\" Having mutual social ties prevents a lot of that.\nI 100% agree with you about the Honeymoon phase though. After 3 years of being close friends, I started dating my now fiance. Strongest Honeymoon phase I've ever experienced, and also the longest - it's yet to end two years in (and we won't be having kids, so maybe it never will).",
">\n\nIf you meet somebody you’re attracted to, there is no reason you can’t build your romantic relationship along with your friendship. This is typically what i did in all of my relationships. If we couldn’t connect on a more in depth way than attraction, the relationship didn’t last long enough to even call it a relationship. \nA romantic relationship isn’t different than any other except romantic ones tend to involve people feeling more intimate with each other. But it’s the same as if you meet somebody you could never be attracted to. You get to know them. It’s all just regular relationship stuff. If you get into a relationship and don’t bond with that person, friendship or romantic or even family, it doesn’t matter. It’s going to be a fail",
">\n\nI met my wife in a bar. I was drunk as shit and my pickup line was \"You're cute, wanna make out?\"\nShe said \"hell no\", but I talked to her again the next day when I was sober and we hit it off instantly. \nI think the best relationships just don't involve the games, or one person chasing until the other finally settles and gives in.",
">\n\nThis is at least plausible. I agree that the strongest romantic relationships contain an element of robust friendship, but I'm not sure that you need to START like this first. It's possible to develop romance and friendship concurrently.",
">\n\n\nIt's possible to develop romance and friendship concurrently.\n\nI really think this is what happened between my wife and I. We met online gaming in 2000. That doesn't sound revolutinary by today's standards but then it was. We talked more and more and it just kind of developed that we were friends, then it moved to RL and not just games. We became best friends and lovers all at the same time. Been together ever since.",
">\n\n\nWe met online gaming in 2000. Been together ever since.\n\nDon't give redditors too much hope..\njk congrats!",
">\n\nLOL. It was a text based online trivia game. No photos no voice. Just text. You really get to know someone that way. No distractions.",
">\n\nAgreeable. I wouldnt say \"The strongest romantic relationships\" HAVE to start that way, but the ones that do tend to be strong romantic relationships.",
">\n\nI think you’re projecting. My 25 years-and-counting relationship with my wife started out on a foundation of raw, animalistic lust.",
">\n\nBut on the other hand there are plenty of people that are best friends, try to date and realize they have no romantic thing, and afterwards it's getting weird etc. \nYou need a romantic and friendship-base, if you want to stay happy togehter. But what comes first is basically irrelevant.",
">\n\nThat’s great since every time I’ve caught feelings for a friend I also lost them as a friend",
">\n\nThe trick is to not stare at them intently for too long at a time",
">\n\nPeople struggle with dating because of these types of opinions. There is no one way to develop a good relationship, there are many. And one way that works for some people can be the exact reason it fails for others. It depends on everyone involved.",
">\n\nTotally agree, I was friends with my wife for 2 years before we began dating. We will be having our 15th wedding anniversary in a couple weeks.",
">\n\nCongratulations! Yay for best friends!!",
">\n\nI sorta disagree, from personal experience.\nWhen I dated someone who I'd been friends with for years, it didn't turn out well. Yeah sure, I knew the bad and good things about them. But that's a double edged sword, because they figured that I would 'be okay with' the same things now that we were in a relationship. There was nothing new for me to learn about him and no bonding experiences that could help us know each other deeper/better, because we already knew each other incredibly well. He wouldn't shut up about his ex before or during our relationship. I gave him an ultimatum and he only continued. I broke up with him and then became an ex he won't shut up about. \nHowever, when I met my current long distance partner, we only knew each other a month before getting together, as there was relatively quick mutual attraction. Our relationship is now 5 years strong and learning new things about them is/has been a bonding experience that I didn't have with the aforementioned ex of mine.\nSo, I think this isn't true in all cases.",
">\n\nI think you don't mean the strongest but safest. All of the things you mentioned are found in long term partners of dating apps and such as well, but of course they also might not be.\nWhat you're describing is every long term relationship. The trust building, the friendship. And yes you don't always find that on dating apps vs being friends first. But dating apps offer you a large pool to chose from which is generally much larger than your friend group.\nBut you also have to remember the downsides of dating a friend too. If it doesn't work out what happens to your friendship or friend group? Were you just friends to get close enough to date because that's kinda shitty. Not to mention it's hard to know if they're actually like you or don't want to lose a friend so go along with it.",
">\n\nNot for me, I've been with A LOT of people, I've dated a few as well. My current gf and future wife met when she came into my shop to get piercings done with her friends, she called the shop afterwards and we had sex the next day. We have been dating ever since ( 3 years ) and she Is the first woman I trust completely and feel comfortable and know I want to spend my entire life with her, my last relationship was 9 years, we were friends before that, the one before that was 6 years, also friends before. So, no, there really is no rules for making the \"perfect relationship\". My \"one night stand\" turned into the woman im going to spend my life with. Seems others have pointed this out as well. This is projection",
">\n\nMy friend found his first girlfriend on Tindr and she was an abusive narcassist (he left her thank god)\nI was a platonic friend with my bf for 3 years before dating him, and we love each other so fucking much",
">\n\nGood for you!\nNonetheless, all scenarios exist around the same percentage:\n- starting as friends becoming good romantic\n- starting as friends and not being good romantic partners\n- starting as a date/lust and becoming good romantically\n- starting as a date/lust and it does not work out",
">\n\nNot the same percentage, OP is right that you'll find a fulfilling relationship more often in person and starting off as friends.",
">\n\nNot that I don’t believe you, but do you have a source?\nThe best relationships I know are from people in the middle: dating, never knew (or interacted with) each other but taking it slow. People who jump too quickly end up fighting, and the people who were friends for so long do manage, but at the end it seems they do divorce because the spark is gone\nAgain, got no proof for that. Just what it seems",
">\n\nYou're asking me for sauce and yet you have failed to provide sauce yourself for your claim that all relationship types are equally occuring. You can only make a subjetive opinion on the matter and our views will be completely different because experiences are uniaue to the individual.\nPeople who enter marriages quickly end up leaving soon because they failed to know each other better. But instead of dating, they could've literally been friends for a long time and that qualifies for 'getting to know each other' and so jumping into marriage might end up being long term. I guess its dofferent for everyone, but I always wanted to meet my partner in real life either at study or work because I know we would be similar on those grounds. I did and I'm happy, and I'm happy because I got to know him more in the safe friendzone. It was a slow process but it was worth it.",
">\n\nI somewhat agree, but not everyone is lucky enough to have or can stay in social circles where you find your s/o.",
">\n\nI think it kinda boils down to the question, what was first, egg or chicken. You won't have full romantic relationship without sex and the same goes for lust based ones only.\nThis is bit of a myth that you can grow yourself a partner, especially after teenage phase, so you either hit or not into someone compatible making it a luck game, requiring lot of volume to get some points. You can start with passionate sex and just score the best partner in the world or you can start with friendship and never make it till some phase.",
">\n\nIs their proof because my evidence says every time u do that she cheats and you lose a good friend",
">\n\nI actually don't think this is as unpopular as you might think. I think at least some people looking for a steamy romance are not necessarily thinking about a life partner, which is totally ok. In the context of looking for a life partner, this seems pretty common.\nThat said, there are some cases where I'd strongly disagree. Dating allows you to filter people out who have definite life incompatibilities with you. Falling for your friends is great if your friend is compatible with you, but sometimes they're not. I've fallen in love with two close friends, neither who I ever would have gone on a date with (both of them fell for me back). In the end, the friendships turned toxic and fell apart because we wanted things from each other that we actually weren't willing to give, given what we wanted from life. I've honestly had much better luck falling in lust with someone, hanging out with them to see if we're baseline compatible, if not long term, and going from there. This isn't like a one-size-fits-all, but there are definite reasons to date strangers.",
">\n\nI’m in a 5 year relationship with someone who I was friends with. I knew him for like ten years now. I do disagree tho, we definitely had a honeymoon phase",
">\n\nNo. This type of shit is what leads mfs that you just want to be friends with to have some false ass hope for the future. I hate this and if someone just wants to be friends they just want to be friends. I'm not saying it never happens but 9/10 if you don't see them that way..... you never will",
">\n\nI started dating my now wife after we were friends for four years. Sparks are overrated.",
">\n\nI wasn't looking for a relationship. Eventually it just happened.",
">\n\nI fell for my husband after being friends for seven months. I had no initial attraction to him, we were just in the same field in doctoral school and interacted a lot. I was actually in another relationship when I first met him. It wasn’t until we worked closely together and got to know each other on a deeper level months later that a spark started to form. After all those months, I suddenly felt such a deep attraction to him I couldn’t ignore it. \nAll of my previous relationships were like that too. I have never felt instant attraction to any person. It always had to grow with time.",
">\n\nThat's how it worked out for me.",
">\n\nI already knew all of those things about my wife because I was working a crap job for low pay when we met. The entire reason I went back to school was for her. It still took four more years to finish my degree and I didn’t have very much money or time between work and school. She stuck with me through those hard times. I didn’t have to just be her friend but she definitely let it be known that she wouldn’t marry me until I finished college. :)",
">\n\nVery true in my case. I didn’t notice him for years. Then we were just friends. Then best friends. Then best friends that say “I love you” to each-other. But finally i resized my true feelings. Ive been with him 2 long years. I wish I loved him sooner because he’s amazing.",
">\n\nThey make for the most difficult breakups, too.",
">\n\nMaybe, but I dont ruin friendships cuz they are valuable so no.",
">\n\nThis is so true. Friends first! I met my fiance on Facebook through our college class group. I dm'd her first and we spoke for three months as really good friends before meeting in person in the fall. That first week we clicked and knew our intentions. We never expected to date. Fast forward 10 years later ( including 3 years of long distance), we have been living together for two years and get married in Oct. Til this day we love each other very much, and is because we see each other as best friends before partners.",
">\n\nBurying the lede, it’s just better than apps, which are fake as fuck and inflate your self worth.",
">\n\nTrue imo the best relationships are the ones where both partners fully trust and know each other's",
">\n\nI agree, but also because I cannot develop feelings or a spark for someone without knowing them for a long time first. I have never just met a person and instantly had feelings for them.",
">\n\nCompletely the opposite in my opinion. Getting to know someone and having instant sparks and slowly falling in love as you get to know more about them is the best feeling in the world. Often times friends first also break up its just a lot more traumatic and you run a lot more risks about breaking up your friend group and stuff like that.",
">\n\nI disagree. The worst relationship i had was with my best friend. She and i were so fucking toxic to each other, that when we broke up and still had to see each other (Same group of friends), we had to wait 5 years until we were ready to be friends again. \nTo all my fellow guys, don't date your female best friend, you'll end up losing a good friend",
">\n\nI think for some people it’s hard to break out of the mindset once you become friends that this person is meant for friendship. After categorizing some people as friends and others as potential love interests, it’s hard to break that boundary in your head.",
">\n\nIf the relationship ended as not platonic then it was never platonic",
">\n\nThe two best relationships I had were with people who we lived together first, became friends, and then lovers, and then partners. They were really sweet relationships and I hold them close to my heart. \nBecause of this, my rule of thumb is friends first, lovers second and it’s never failed me.",
">\n\nMy rule of thumb is the same, too. All for reasons outlined in this post.",
">\n\nYou are in the friend zone aren't you",
">\n\nStrong disagree. Platonic friendships lead to chemistry-less marriages. Was definitely not friends with my husband before we got married, fancied him too much and still do",
">\n\nThat big crazy love feeling is what attaches us to a person. It’s like a drug and our brain will remember what gave us that feeling while our hearts will tell the brain to keep pursing that person who gave us that good feeling, logical or not. When bad things keep happening in a relationship that good feeling gets over weighed by the bad and that this person is now seen as someone who causes bad feelings instead.. or danger in our brain. Some relationships work out some don’t, you have to remember we hear more about those that don’t then do.\nPeople who are strongly attracted to each other can’t be just friends, nature won’t allow it. They either stop being friends, set boundaries, or give in. I feel like those who started platonic friends means one usually likes the other more then the other does and is looking for security and safety more then chemistry and happiness.",
">\n\nNah, for some of us to get that “in love” feeling we have to know someone for a long time. I never just meet someone and feel anything for them. It took me seven months of friendship to fall for my now husband, but when I finally did, it was every bit as powerful and very much that “drug addicted spark” feeling that you are describing. So I think we are all just different with this.",
">\n\nTook y’all 7 months to give in is all I’m hearing. You felt connection towards each other.",
">\n\nNope, I legitimately was not interested in him in the beginning. I didn’t even find him physically appealing at first. Something changed once I started to interact more with him and got to know his mind over months.\nAnd every other relationship I’ve had has been the same. I have never once felt instant connection to a person. It always takes a long time for it to set in. I need that mental connection and build up.",
">\n\nThat’s still the same thing to me. you got to know him even as friends you developed feelings for him.",
">\n\nYes, but the point is that it happened after months of friendship first, not at the forefront. Which is why many people prefer to start platonically and let things develop.",
">\n\nI’m not sure this is an unpopular opinion….",
">\n\nIt neither popular nor unpopular. Some friendships work out romantically. Other people meet and they have been married 20+ years. No one is better",
">\n\nNah, all happy long-term couples I know started as a romantic relationship. I don't even know how you could have a long platonic friendship and then suddenly feel romantic love and sexual attraction if that wasn't there from the start. If there was romantic connection all along, then you were never friends, you were just taking it slow.",
">\n\nis it weird that I don't believe that relationship between partners can ever be 100% platonic? it is not to disagree with your point, but the initial interest into the engagement must be as least sexual or romantic at some point. It is not to say that it is all that simple, but being a man and having 24/7 urges makes me question dudes who are just friends with female/they them counterpart.",
">\n\nYour urges are entirely your own",
">\n\nyes but my point is that in the heart any interaction that extends to the friendship department among opposite genders are usually have at least of a pretext of a romantic/sexual interest.\nthe interplay of those tensions create the pretext for extending the relationship.\nit is not to say that while getting to know someone you might loose/ or lessen that desire and it can be replaced by the deep bond, but once that bond officially ends in sexual/romantic territory, you cannot agrue in good faith that you were \"just\" friends.",
">\n\nCommon sense, not an unpopular opinion. Love at first sight is not that common, and often doesn't lead to anything anyway. You have to get to know a person before a romance can really start.",
">\n\nWe started as a one night stand, and met every day after, been together for 11 now, so I have to disagree lol.",
">\n\n11 days? I'm impressed \n/s ik what you meant",
">\n\nAha, nice one. Yeah I should have wrote years",
">\n\nI guess.\nPeople are vain and horny.\npeople overestimate their own worth.\nFriendship between men and women are not meant to be.\nDifferent values, expectations, eventually someone gets taken for granted \nHow fucking starved for affection people are.\nIn a ideal world people have healthy relation and friends slowly turning lovers.\nYet we need that dopamine tho.",
">\n\nYe",
">\n\nI don’t know… lots of women seem to get upset, if they are asked out by their friends",
">\n\nBut if that relationship ends poorly you end up losing a great friend.",
">\n\nMy partner and I weren't friends before but we are definitely best friends now after nearly 20 years together",
">\n\nMe and my wife started as friends, we have been together nearly 20 years. And yes, there is a honeymoon phase.",
">\n\nEnemies to lovers is the way to go :D",
">\n\nYeah, the challenge is getting into a friendship with someone of the opposite sex"
] |
>
For me it doesn’t work like that.
Once I put someone in the category of friend they never move from it. Most of the people have dated long term we had romantic chemistry immediately and slept together on the 1st or 2nd date. If it takes much longer than that then we probably don’t genuinely find each other attractive. I would say my limit would probably be 5 dates. | [
"I was good friends with my husband for about 8 years before we started dating. I think we both just needed to grow up a bit. But when we told our friend group we started dating the general reactions was \"about time!\" So I guess it was obvious to everyone but us lol.",
">\n\nMe and my first wife were like rhat",
">\n\nThen what happened?",
">\n\nThen you get told \"I wish I met someone like you.\"",
">\n\nThey make for the most difficult breakups,",
">\n\nSometimes. A better phrase would be that the strongest romantic relationships are also the strongest friendships.\nAlso The honeymoon phase is all relationships. Friendships and lovers. It tends to stop in all relationship when kids get involved 😬",
">\n\nEh, I agree with OP and think it's unpopular because the number of people who meet this way is plummeting, so the acknowledgement makes those people feel insecure.\nOf course you can start a relationship romantically and have it remain successful indefinitely as long as you also build friendship along the way. But there are two key areas this method can never truly replicate:\n\n\nHaving your respect for someone develop 100% independently of your attraction to them. I know a fair number of couples that can't seem to untangle respect and attraction. So when their partner falls in attractiveness it also lowers their overall respect for them. Sometimes that tracks... But sometimes it doesn't (for example, after kids when both people are too tired muster much attraction). Eventually, it leads to problems.\n\n\nAccountability. When you meet through and share a community, there are repercussions for acting a fool. When your only connection to each other is your relationship, there is less incentive to remain civil because you won't be judged/punished by 3rd parties if you don't.\n\n\nIf you look at the complaints that GenZ and younger Millennials have about dating, a lot them can be summed up as \"I'm being treated like a commodity, not like a person.\" Having mutual social ties prevents a lot of that.\nI 100% agree with you about the Honeymoon phase though. After 3 years of being close friends, I started dating my now fiance. Strongest Honeymoon phase I've ever experienced, and also the longest - it's yet to end two years in (and we won't be having kids, so maybe it never will).",
">\n\nIf you meet somebody you’re attracted to, there is no reason you can’t build your romantic relationship along with your friendship. This is typically what i did in all of my relationships. If we couldn’t connect on a more in depth way than attraction, the relationship didn’t last long enough to even call it a relationship. \nA romantic relationship isn’t different than any other except romantic ones tend to involve people feeling more intimate with each other. But it’s the same as if you meet somebody you could never be attracted to. You get to know them. It’s all just regular relationship stuff. If you get into a relationship and don’t bond with that person, friendship or romantic or even family, it doesn’t matter. It’s going to be a fail",
">\n\nI met my wife in a bar. I was drunk as shit and my pickup line was \"You're cute, wanna make out?\"\nShe said \"hell no\", but I talked to her again the next day when I was sober and we hit it off instantly. \nI think the best relationships just don't involve the games, or one person chasing until the other finally settles and gives in.",
">\n\nThis is at least plausible. I agree that the strongest romantic relationships contain an element of robust friendship, but I'm not sure that you need to START like this first. It's possible to develop romance and friendship concurrently.",
">\n\n\nIt's possible to develop romance and friendship concurrently.\n\nI really think this is what happened between my wife and I. We met online gaming in 2000. That doesn't sound revolutinary by today's standards but then it was. We talked more and more and it just kind of developed that we were friends, then it moved to RL and not just games. We became best friends and lovers all at the same time. Been together ever since.",
">\n\n\nWe met online gaming in 2000. Been together ever since.\n\nDon't give redditors too much hope..\njk congrats!",
">\n\nLOL. It was a text based online trivia game. No photos no voice. Just text. You really get to know someone that way. No distractions.",
">\n\nAgreeable. I wouldnt say \"The strongest romantic relationships\" HAVE to start that way, but the ones that do tend to be strong romantic relationships.",
">\n\nI think you’re projecting. My 25 years-and-counting relationship with my wife started out on a foundation of raw, animalistic lust.",
">\n\nBut on the other hand there are plenty of people that are best friends, try to date and realize they have no romantic thing, and afterwards it's getting weird etc. \nYou need a romantic and friendship-base, if you want to stay happy togehter. But what comes first is basically irrelevant.",
">\n\nThat’s great since every time I’ve caught feelings for a friend I also lost them as a friend",
">\n\nThe trick is to not stare at them intently for too long at a time",
">\n\nPeople struggle with dating because of these types of opinions. There is no one way to develop a good relationship, there are many. And one way that works for some people can be the exact reason it fails for others. It depends on everyone involved.",
">\n\nTotally agree, I was friends with my wife for 2 years before we began dating. We will be having our 15th wedding anniversary in a couple weeks.",
">\n\nCongratulations! Yay for best friends!!",
">\n\nI sorta disagree, from personal experience.\nWhen I dated someone who I'd been friends with for years, it didn't turn out well. Yeah sure, I knew the bad and good things about them. But that's a double edged sword, because they figured that I would 'be okay with' the same things now that we were in a relationship. There was nothing new for me to learn about him and no bonding experiences that could help us know each other deeper/better, because we already knew each other incredibly well. He wouldn't shut up about his ex before or during our relationship. I gave him an ultimatum and he only continued. I broke up with him and then became an ex he won't shut up about. \nHowever, when I met my current long distance partner, we only knew each other a month before getting together, as there was relatively quick mutual attraction. Our relationship is now 5 years strong and learning new things about them is/has been a bonding experience that I didn't have with the aforementioned ex of mine.\nSo, I think this isn't true in all cases.",
">\n\nI think you don't mean the strongest but safest. All of the things you mentioned are found in long term partners of dating apps and such as well, but of course they also might not be.\nWhat you're describing is every long term relationship. The trust building, the friendship. And yes you don't always find that on dating apps vs being friends first. But dating apps offer you a large pool to chose from which is generally much larger than your friend group.\nBut you also have to remember the downsides of dating a friend too. If it doesn't work out what happens to your friendship or friend group? Were you just friends to get close enough to date because that's kinda shitty. Not to mention it's hard to know if they're actually like you or don't want to lose a friend so go along with it.",
">\n\nNot for me, I've been with A LOT of people, I've dated a few as well. My current gf and future wife met when she came into my shop to get piercings done with her friends, she called the shop afterwards and we had sex the next day. We have been dating ever since ( 3 years ) and she Is the first woman I trust completely and feel comfortable and know I want to spend my entire life with her, my last relationship was 9 years, we were friends before that, the one before that was 6 years, also friends before. So, no, there really is no rules for making the \"perfect relationship\". My \"one night stand\" turned into the woman im going to spend my life with. Seems others have pointed this out as well. This is projection",
">\n\nMy friend found his first girlfriend on Tindr and she was an abusive narcassist (he left her thank god)\nI was a platonic friend with my bf for 3 years before dating him, and we love each other so fucking much",
">\n\nGood for you!\nNonetheless, all scenarios exist around the same percentage:\n- starting as friends becoming good romantic\n- starting as friends and not being good romantic partners\n- starting as a date/lust and becoming good romantically\n- starting as a date/lust and it does not work out",
">\n\nNot the same percentage, OP is right that you'll find a fulfilling relationship more often in person and starting off as friends.",
">\n\nNot that I don’t believe you, but do you have a source?\nThe best relationships I know are from people in the middle: dating, never knew (or interacted with) each other but taking it slow. People who jump too quickly end up fighting, and the people who were friends for so long do manage, but at the end it seems they do divorce because the spark is gone\nAgain, got no proof for that. Just what it seems",
">\n\nYou're asking me for sauce and yet you have failed to provide sauce yourself for your claim that all relationship types are equally occuring. You can only make a subjetive opinion on the matter and our views will be completely different because experiences are uniaue to the individual.\nPeople who enter marriages quickly end up leaving soon because they failed to know each other better. But instead of dating, they could've literally been friends for a long time and that qualifies for 'getting to know each other' and so jumping into marriage might end up being long term. I guess its dofferent for everyone, but I always wanted to meet my partner in real life either at study or work because I know we would be similar on those grounds. I did and I'm happy, and I'm happy because I got to know him more in the safe friendzone. It was a slow process but it was worth it.",
">\n\nI somewhat agree, but not everyone is lucky enough to have or can stay in social circles where you find your s/o.",
">\n\nI think it kinda boils down to the question, what was first, egg or chicken. You won't have full romantic relationship without sex and the same goes for lust based ones only.\nThis is bit of a myth that you can grow yourself a partner, especially after teenage phase, so you either hit or not into someone compatible making it a luck game, requiring lot of volume to get some points. You can start with passionate sex and just score the best partner in the world or you can start with friendship and never make it till some phase.",
">\n\nIs their proof because my evidence says every time u do that she cheats and you lose a good friend",
">\n\nI actually don't think this is as unpopular as you might think. I think at least some people looking for a steamy romance are not necessarily thinking about a life partner, which is totally ok. In the context of looking for a life partner, this seems pretty common.\nThat said, there are some cases where I'd strongly disagree. Dating allows you to filter people out who have definite life incompatibilities with you. Falling for your friends is great if your friend is compatible with you, but sometimes they're not. I've fallen in love with two close friends, neither who I ever would have gone on a date with (both of them fell for me back). In the end, the friendships turned toxic and fell apart because we wanted things from each other that we actually weren't willing to give, given what we wanted from life. I've honestly had much better luck falling in lust with someone, hanging out with them to see if we're baseline compatible, if not long term, and going from there. This isn't like a one-size-fits-all, but there are definite reasons to date strangers.",
">\n\nI’m in a 5 year relationship with someone who I was friends with. I knew him for like ten years now. I do disagree tho, we definitely had a honeymoon phase",
">\n\nNo. This type of shit is what leads mfs that you just want to be friends with to have some false ass hope for the future. I hate this and if someone just wants to be friends they just want to be friends. I'm not saying it never happens but 9/10 if you don't see them that way..... you never will",
">\n\nI started dating my now wife after we were friends for four years. Sparks are overrated.",
">\n\nI wasn't looking for a relationship. Eventually it just happened.",
">\n\nI fell for my husband after being friends for seven months. I had no initial attraction to him, we were just in the same field in doctoral school and interacted a lot. I was actually in another relationship when I first met him. It wasn’t until we worked closely together and got to know each other on a deeper level months later that a spark started to form. After all those months, I suddenly felt such a deep attraction to him I couldn’t ignore it. \nAll of my previous relationships were like that too. I have never felt instant attraction to any person. It always had to grow with time.",
">\n\nThat's how it worked out for me.",
">\n\nI already knew all of those things about my wife because I was working a crap job for low pay when we met. The entire reason I went back to school was for her. It still took four more years to finish my degree and I didn’t have very much money or time between work and school. She stuck with me through those hard times. I didn’t have to just be her friend but she definitely let it be known that she wouldn’t marry me until I finished college. :)",
">\n\nVery true in my case. I didn’t notice him for years. Then we were just friends. Then best friends. Then best friends that say “I love you” to each-other. But finally i resized my true feelings. Ive been with him 2 long years. I wish I loved him sooner because he’s amazing.",
">\n\nThey make for the most difficult breakups, too.",
">\n\nMaybe, but I dont ruin friendships cuz they are valuable so no.",
">\n\nThis is so true. Friends first! I met my fiance on Facebook through our college class group. I dm'd her first and we spoke for three months as really good friends before meeting in person in the fall. That first week we clicked and knew our intentions. We never expected to date. Fast forward 10 years later ( including 3 years of long distance), we have been living together for two years and get married in Oct. Til this day we love each other very much, and is because we see each other as best friends before partners.",
">\n\nBurying the lede, it’s just better than apps, which are fake as fuck and inflate your self worth.",
">\n\nTrue imo the best relationships are the ones where both partners fully trust and know each other's",
">\n\nI agree, but also because I cannot develop feelings or a spark for someone without knowing them for a long time first. I have never just met a person and instantly had feelings for them.",
">\n\nCompletely the opposite in my opinion. Getting to know someone and having instant sparks and slowly falling in love as you get to know more about them is the best feeling in the world. Often times friends first also break up its just a lot more traumatic and you run a lot more risks about breaking up your friend group and stuff like that.",
">\n\nI disagree. The worst relationship i had was with my best friend. She and i were so fucking toxic to each other, that when we broke up and still had to see each other (Same group of friends), we had to wait 5 years until we were ready to be friends again. \nTo all my fellow guys, don't date your female best friend, you'll end up losing a good friend",
">\n\nI think for some people it’s hard to break out of the mindset once you become friends that this person is meant for friendship. After categorizing some people as friends and others as potential love interests, it’s hard to break that boundary in your head.",
">\n\nIf the relationship ended as not platonic then it was never platonic",
">\n\nThe two best relationships I had were with people who we lived together first, became friends, and then lovers, and then partners. They were really sweet relationships and I hold them close to my heart. \nBecause of this, my rule of thumb is friends first, lovers second and it’s never failed me.",
">\n\nMy rule of thumb is the same, too. All for reasons outlined in this post.",
">\n\nYou are in the friend zone aren't you",
">\n\nStrong disagree. Platonic friendships lead to chemistry-less marriages. Was definitely not friends with my husband before we got married, fancied him too much and still do",
">\n\nThat big crazy love feeling is what attaches us to a person. It’s like a drug and our brain will remember what gave us that feeling while our hearts will tell the brain to keep pursing that person who gave us that good feeling, logical or not. When bad things keep happening in a relationship that good feeling gets over weighed by the bad and that this person is now seen as someone who causes bad feelings instead.. or danger in our brain. Some relationships work out some don’t, you have to remember we hear more about those that don’t then do.\nPeople who are strongly attracted to each other can’t be just friends, nature won’t allow it. They either stop being friends, set boundaries, or give in. I feel like those who started platonic friends means one usually likes the other more then the other does and is looking for security and safety more then chemistry and happiness.",
">\n\nNah, for some of us to get that “in love” feeling we have to know someone for a long time. I never just meet someone and feel anything for them. It took me seven months of friendship to fall for my now husband, but when I finally did, it was every bit as powerful and very much that “drug addicted spark” feeling that you are describing. So I think we are all just different with this.",
">\n\nTook y’all 7 months to give in is all I’m hearing. You felt connection towards each other.",
">\n\nNope, I legitimately was not interested in him in the beginning. I didn’t even find him physically appealing at first. Something changed once I started to interact more with him and got to know his mind over months.\nAnd every other relationship I’ve had has been the same. I have never once felt instant connection to a person. It always takes a long time for it to set in. I need that mental connection and build up.",
">\n\nThat’s still the same thing to me. you got to know him even as friends you developed feelings for him.",
">\n\nYes, but the point is that it happened after months of friendship first, not at the forefront. Which is why many people prefer to start platonically and let things develop.",
">\n\nI’m not sure this is an unpopular opinion….",
">\n\nIt neither popular nor unpopular. Some friendships work out romantically. Other people meet and they have been married 20+ years. No one is better",
">\n\nNah, all happy long-term couples I know started as a romantic relationship. I don't even know how you could have a long platonic friendship and then suddenly feel romantic love and sexual attraction if that wasn't there from the start. If there was romantic connection all along, then you were never friends, you were just taking it slow.",
">\n\nis it weird that I don't believe that relationship between partners can ever be 100% platonic? it is not to disagree with your point, but the initial interest into the engagement must be as least sexual or romantic at some point. It is not to say that it is all that simple, but being a man and having 24/7 urges makes me question dudes who are just friends with female/they them counterpart.",
">\n\nYour urges are entirely your own",
">\n\nyes but my point is that in the heart any interaction that extends to the friendship department among opposite genders are usually have at least of a pretext of a romantic/sexual interest.\nthe interplay of those tensions create the pretext for extending the relationship.\nit is not to say that while getting to know someone you might loose/ or lessen that desire and it can be replaced by the deep bond, but once that bond officially ends in sexual/romantic territory, you cannot agrue in good faith that you were \"just\" friends.",
">\n\nCommon sense, not an unpopular opinion. Love at first sight is not that common, and often doesn't lead to anything anyway. You have to get to know a person before a romance can really start.",
">\n\nWe started as a one night stand, and met every day after, been together for 11 now, so I have to disagree lol.",
">\n\n11 days? I'm impressed \n/s ik what you meant",
">\n\nAha, nice one. Yeah I should have wrote years",
">\n\nI guess.\nPeople are vain and horny.\npeople overestimate their own worth.\nFriendship between men and women are not meant to be.\nDifferent values, expectations, eventually someone gets taken for granted \nHow fucking starved for affection people are.\nIn a ideal world people have healthy relation and friends slowly turning lovers.\nYet we need that dopamine tho.",
">\n\nYe",
">\n\nI don’t know… lots of women seem to get upset, if they are asked out by their friends",
">\n\nBut if that relationship ends poorly you end up losing a great friend.",
">\n\nMy partner and I weren't friends before but we are definitely best friends now after nearly 20 years together",
">\n\nMe and my wife started as friends, we have been together nearly 20 years. And yes, there is a honeymoon phase.",
">\n\nEnemies to lovers is the way to go :D",
">\n\nYeah, the challenge is getting into a friendship with someone of the opposite sex",
">\n\nI dont like the way my friend smells. A relationship therapist says that’s Red flag. Not that they are bad there just won’t be any chemistry."
] |
>
That's why people not looking for a relationship don't want to hang out as platonic friends.
Especially when a guy is saying "It's platonic, I just want to hang out as friends"
Girls know the guy will eventually say they are dating. | [
"I was good friends with my husband for about 8 years before we started dating. I think we both just needed to grow up a bit. But when we told our friend group we started dating the general reactions was \"about time!\" So I guess it was obvious to everyone but us lol.",
">\n\nMe and my first wife were like rhat",
">\n\nThen what happened?",
">\n\nThen you get told \"I wish I met someone like you.\"",
">\n\nThey make for the most difficult breakups,",
">\n\nSometimes. A better phrase would be that the strongest romantic relationships are also the strongest friendships.\nAlso The honeymoon phase is all relationships. Friendships and lovers. It tends to stop in all relationship when kids get involved 😬",
">\n\nEh, I agree with OP and think it's unpopular because the number of people who meet this way is plummeting, so the acknowledgement makes those people feel insecure.\nOf course you can start a relationship romantically and have it remain successful indefinitely as long as you also build friendship along the way. But there are two key areas this method can never truly replicate:\n\n\nHaving your respect for someone develop 100% independently of your attraction to them. I know a fair number of couples that can't seem to untangle respect and attraction. So when their partner falls in attractiveness it also lowers their overall respect for them. Sometimes that tracks... But sometimes it doesn't (for example, after kids when both people are too tired muster much attraction). Eventually, it leads to problems.\n\n\nAccountability. When you meet through and share a community, there are repercussions for acting a fool. When your only connection to each other is your relationship, there is less incentive to remain civil because you won't be judged/punished by 3rd parties if you don't.\n\n\nIf you look at the complaints that GenZ and younger Millennials have about dating, a lot them can be summed up as \"I'm being treated like a commodity, not like a person.\" Having mutual social ties prevents a lot of that.\nI 100% agree with you about the Honeymoon phase though. After 3 years of being close friends, I started dating my now fiance. Strongest Honeymoon phase I've ever experienced, and also the longest - it's yet to end two years in (and we won't be having kids, so maybe it never will).",
">\n\nIf you meet somebody you’re attracted to, there is no reason you can’t build your romantic relationship along with your friendship. This is typically what i did in all of my relationships. If we couldn’t connect on a more in depth way than attraction, the relationship didn’t last long enough to even call it a relationship. \nA romantic relationship isn’t different than any other except romantic ones tend to involve people feeling more intimate with each other. But it’s the same as if you meet somebody you could never be attracted to. You get to know them. It’s all just regular relationship stuff. If you get into a relationship and don’t bond with that person, friendship or romantic or even family, it doesn’t matter. It’s going to be a fail",
">\n\nI met my wife in a bar. I was drunk as shit and my pickup line was \"You're cute, wanna make out?\"\nShe said \"hell no\", but I talked to her again the next day when I was sober and we hit it off instantly. \nI think the best relationships just don't involve the games, or one person chasing until the other finally settles and gives in.",
">\n\nThis is at least plausible. I agree that the strongest romantic relationships contain an element of robust friendship, but I'm not sure that you need to START like this first. It's possible to develop romance and friendship concurrently.",
">\n\n\nIt's possible to develop romance and friendship concurrently.\n\nI really think this is what happened between my wife and I. We met online gaming in 2000. That doesn't sound revolutinary by today's standards but then it was. We talked more and more and it just kind of developed that we were friends, then it moved to RL and not just games. We became best friends and lovers all at the same time. Been together ever since.",
">\n\n\nWe met online gaming in 2000. Been together ever since.\n\nDon't give redditors too much hope..\njk congrats!",
">\n\nLOL. It was a text based online trivia game. No photos no voice. Just text. You really get to know someone that way. No distractions.",
">\n\nAgreeable. I wouldnt say \"The strongest romantic relationships\" HAVE to start that way, but the ones that do tend to be strong romantic relationships.",
">\n\nI think you’re projecting. My 25 years-and-counting relationship with my wife started out on a foundation of raw, animalistic lust.",
">\n\nBut on the other hand there are plenty of people that are best friends, try to date and realize they have no romantic thing, and afterwards it's getting weird etc. \nYou need a romantic and friendship-base, if you want to stay happy togehter. But what comes first is basically irrelevant.",
">\n\nThat’s great since every time I’ve caught feelings for a friend I also lost them as a friend",
">\n\nThe trick is to not stare at them intently for too long at a time",
">\n\nPeople struggle with dating because of these types of opinions. There is no one way to develop a good relationship, there are many. And one way that works for some people can be the exact reason it fails for others. It depends on everyone involved.",
">\n\nTotally agree, I was friends with my wife for 2 years before we began dating. We will be having our 15th wedding anniversary in a couple weeks.",
">\n\nCongratulations! Yay for best friends!!",
">\n\nI sorta disagree, from personal experience.\nWhen I dated someone who I'd been friends with for years, it didn't turn out well. Yeah sure, I knew the bad and good things about them. But that's a double edged sword, because they figured that I would 'be okay with' the same things now that we were in a relationship. There was nothing new for me to learn about him and no bonding experiences that could help us know each other deeper/better, because we already knew each other incredibly well. He wouldn't shut up about his ex before or during our relationship. I gave him an ultimatum and he only continued. I broke up with him and then became an ex he won't shut up about. \nHowever, when I met my current long distance partner, we only knew each other a month before getting together, as there was relatively quick mutual attraction. Our relationship is now 5 years strong and learning new things about them is/has been a bonding experience that I didn't have with the aforementioned ex of mine.\nSo, I think this isn't true in all cases.",
">\n\nI think you don't mean the strongest but safest. All of the things you mentioned are found in long term partners of dating apps and such as well, but of course they also might not be.\nWhat you're describing is every long term relationship. The trust building, the friendship. And yes you don't always find that on dating apps vs being friends first. But dating apps offer you a large pool to chose from which is generally much larger than your friend group.\nBut you also have to remember the downsides of dating a friend too. If it doesn't work out what happens to your friendship or friend group? Were you just friends to get close enough to date because that's kinda shitty. Not to mention it's hard to know if they're actually like you or don't want to lose a friend so go along with it.",
">\n\nNot for me, I've been with A LOT of people, I've dated a few as well. My current gf and future wife met when she came into my shop to get piercings done with her friends, she called the shop afterwards and we had sex the next day. We have been dating ever since ( 3 years ) and she Is the first woman I trust completely and feel comfortable and know I want to spend my entire life with her, my last relationship was 9 years, we were friends before that, the one before that was 6 years, also friends before. So, no, there really is no rules for making the \"perfect relationship\". My \"one night stand\" turned into the woman im going to spend my life with. Seems others have pointed this out as well. This is projection",
">\n\nMy friend found his first girlfriend on Tindr and she was an abusive narcassist (he left her thank god)\nI was a platonic friend with my bf for 3 years before dating him, and we love each other so fucking much",
">\n\nGood for you!\nNonetheless, all scenarios exist around the same percentage:\n- starting as friends becoming good romantic\n- starting as friends and not being good romantic partners\n- starting as a date/lust and becoming good romantically\n- starting as a date/lust and it does not work out",
">\n\nNot the same percentage, OP is right that you'll find a fulfilling relationship more often in person and starting off as friends.",
">\n\nNot that I don’t believe you, but do you have a source?\nThe best relationships I know are from people in the middle: dating, never knew (or interacted with) each other but taking it slow. People who jump too quickly end up fighting, and the people who were friends for so long do manage, but at the end it seems they do divorce because the spark is gone\nAgain, got no proof for that. Just what it seems",
">\n\nYou're asking me for sauce and yet you have failed to provide sauce yourself for your claim that all relationship types are equally occuring. You can only make a subjetive opinion on the matter and our views will be completely different because experiences are uniaue to the individual.\nPeople who enter marriages quickly end up leaving soon because they failed to know each other better. But instead of dating, they could've literally been friends for a long time and that qualifies for 'getting to know each other' and so jumping into marriage might end up being long term. I guess its dofferent for everyone, but I always wanted to meet my partner in real life either at study or work because I know we would be similar on those grounds. I did and I'm happy, and I'm happy because I got to know him more in the safe friendzone. It was a slow process but it was worth it.",
">\n\nI somewhat agree, but not everyone is lucky enough to have or can stay in social circles where you find your s/o.",
">\n\nI think it kinda boils down to the question, what was first, egg or chicken. You won't have full romantic relationship without sex and the same goes for lust based ones only.\nThis is bit of a myth that you can grow yourself a partner, especially after teenage phase, so you either hit or not into someone compatible making it a luck game, requiring lot of volume to get some points. You can start with passionate sex and just score the best partner in the world or you can start with friendship and never make it till some phase.",
">\n\nIs their proof because my evidence says every time u do that she cheats and you lose a good friend",
">\n\nI actually don't think this is as unpopular as you might think. I think at least some people looking for a steamy romance are not necessarily thinking about a life partner, which is totally ok. In the context of looking for a life partner, this seems pretty common.\nThat said, there are some cases where I'd strongly disagree. Dating allows you to filter people out who have definite life incompatibilities with you. Falling for your friends is great if your friend is compatible with you, but sometimes they're not. I've fallen in love with two close friends, neither who I ever would have gone on a date with (both of them fell for me back). In the end, the friendships turned toxic and fell apart because we wanted things from each other that we actually weren't willing to give, given what we wanted from life. I've honestly had much better luck falling in lust with someone, hanging out with them to see if we're baseline compatible, if not long term, and going from there. This isn't like a one-size-fits-all, but there are definite reasons to date strangers.",
">\n\nI’m in a 5 year relationship with someone who I was friends with. I knew him for like ten years now. I do disagree tho, we definitely had a honeymoon phase",
">\n\nNo. This type of shit is what leads mfs that you just want to be friends with to have some false ass hope for the future. I hate this and if someone just wants to be friends they just want to be friends. I'm not saying it never happens but 9/10 if you don't see them that way..... you never will",
">\n\nI started dating my now wife after we were friends for four years. Sparks are overrated.",
">\n\nI wasn't looking for a relationship. Eventually it just happened.",
">\n\nI fell for my husband after being friends for seven months. I had no initial attraction to him, we were just in the same field in doctoral school and interacted a lot. I was actually in another relationship when I first met him. It wasn’t until we worked closely together and got to know each other on a deeper level months later that a spark started to form. After all those months, I suddenly felt such a deep attraction to him I couldn’t ignore it. \nAll of my previous relationships were like that too. I have never felt instant attraction to any person. It always had to grow with time.",
">\n\nThat's how it worked out for me.",
">\n\nI already knew all of those things about my wife because I was working a crap job for low pay when we met. The entire reason I went back to school was for her. It still took four more years to finish my degree and I didn’t have very much money or time between work and school. She stuck with me through those hard times. I didn’t have to just be her friend but she definitely let it be known that she wouldn’t marry me until I finished college. :)",
">\n\nVery true in my case. I didn’t notice him for years. Then we were just friends. Then best friends. Then best friends that say “I love you” to each-other. But finally i resized my true feelings. Ive been with him 2 long years. I wish I loved him sooner because he’s amazing.",
">\n\nThey make for the most difficult breakups, too.",
">\n\nMaybe, but I dont ruin friendships cuz they are valuable so no.",
">\n\nThis is so true. Friends first! I met my fiance on Facebook through our college class group. I dm'd her first and we spoke for three months as really good friends before meeting in person in the fall. That first week we clicked and knew our intentions. We never expected to date. Fast forward 10 years later ( including 3 years of long distance), we have been living together for two years and get married in Oct. Til this day we love each other very much, and is because we see each other as best friends before partners.",
">\n\nBurying the lede, it’s just better than apps, which are fake as fuck and inflate your self worth.",
">\n\nTrue imo the best relationships are the ones where both partners fully trust and know each other's",
">\n\nI agree, but also because I cannot develop feelings or a spark for someone without knowing them for a long time first. I have never just met a person and instantly had feelings for them.",
">\n\nCompletely the opposite in my opinion. Getting to know someone and having instant sparks and slowly falling in love as you get to know more about them is the best feeling in the world. Often times friends first also break up its just a lot more traumatic and you run a lot more risks about breaking up your friend group and stuff like that.",
">\n\nI disagree. The worst relationship i had was with my best friend. She and i were so fucking toxic to each other, that when we broke up and still had to see each other (Same group of friends), we had to wait 5 years until we were ready to be friends again. \nTo all my fellow guys, don't date your female best friend, you'll end up losing a good friend",
">\n\nI think for some people it’s hard to break out of the mindset once you become friends that this person is meant for friendship. After categorizing some people as friends and others as potential love interests, it’s hard to break that boundary in your head.",
">\n\nIf the relationship ended as not platonic then it was never platonic",
">\n\nThe two best relationships I had were with people who we lived together first, became friends, and then lovers, and then partners. They were really sweet relationships and I hold them close to my heart. \nBecause of this, my rule of thumb is friends first, lovers second and it’s never failed me.",
">\n\nMy rule of thumb is the same, too. All for reasons outlined in this post.",
">\n\nYou are in the friend zone aren't you",
">\n\nStrong disagree. Platonic friendships lead to chemistry-less marriages. Was definitely not friends with my husband before we got married, fancied him too much and still do",
">\n\nThat big crazy love feeling is what attaches us to a person. It’s like a drug and our brain will remember what gave us that feeling while our hearts will tell the brain to keep pursing that person who gave us that good feeling, logical or not. When bad things keep happening in a relationship that good feeling gets over weighed by the bad and that this person is now seen as someone who causes bad feelings instead.. or danger in our brain. Some relationships work out some don’t, you have to remember we hear more about those that don’t then do.\nPeople who are strongly attracted to each other can’t be just friends, nature won’t allow it. They either stop being friends, set boundaries, or give in. I feel like those who started platonic friends means one usually likes the other more then the other does and is looking for security and safety more then chemistry and happiness.",
">\n\nNah, for some of us to get that “in love” feeling we have to know someone for a long time. I never just meet someone and feel anything for them. It took me seven months of friendship to fall for my now husband, but when I finally did, it was every bit as powerful and very much that “drug addicted spark” feeling that you are describing. So I think we are all just different with this.",
">\n\nTook y’all 7 months to give in is all I’m hearing. You felt connection towards each other.",
">\n\nNope, I legitimately was not interested in him in the beginning. I didn’t even find him physically appealing at first. Something changed once I started to interact more with him and got to know his mind over months.\nAnd every other relationship I’ve had has been the same. I have never once felt instant connection to a person. It always takes a long time for it to set in. I need that mental connection and build up.",
">\n\nThat’s still the same thing to me. you got to know him even as friends you developed feelings for him.",
">\n\nYes, but the point is that it happened after months of friendship first, not at the forefront. Which is why many people prefer to start platonically and let things develop.",
">\n\nI’m not sure this is an unpopular opinion….",
">\n\nIt neither popular nor unpopular. Some friendships work out romantically. Other people meet and they have been married 20+ years. No one is better",
">\n\nNah, all happy long-term couples I know started as a romantic relationship. I don't even know how you could have a long platonic friendship and then suddenly feel romantic love and sexual attraction if that wasn't there from the start. If there was romantic connection all along, then you were never friends, you were just taking it slow.",
">\n\nis it weird that I don't believe that relationship between partners can ever be 100% platonic? it is not to disagree with your point, but the initial interest into the engagement must be as least sexual or romantic at some point. It is not to say that it is all that simple, but being a man and having 24/7 urges makes me question dudes who are just friends with female/they them counterpart.",
">\n\nYour urges are entirely your own",
">\n\nyes but my point is that in the heart any interaction that extends to the friendship department among opposite genders are usually have at least of a pretext of a romantic/sexual interest.\nthe interplay of those tensions create the pretext for extending the relationship.\nit is not to say that while getting to know someone you might loose/ or lessen that desire and it can be replaced by the deep bond, but once that bond officially ends in sexual/romantic territory, you cannot agrue in good faith that you were \"just\" friends.",
">\n\nCommon sense, not an unpopular opinion. Love at first sight is not that common, and often doesn't lead to anything anyway. You have to get to know a person before a romance can really start.",
">\n\nWe started as a one night stand, and met every day after, been together for 11 now, so I have to disagree lol.",
">\n\n11 days? I'm impressed \n/s ik what you meant",
">\n\nAha, nice one. Yeah I should have wrote years",
">\n\nI guess.\nPeople are vain and horny.\npeople overestimate their own worth.\nFriendship between men and women are not meant to be.\nDifferent values, expectations, eventually someone gets taken for granted \nHow fucking starved for affection people are.\nIn a ideal world people have healthy relation and friends slowly turning lovers.\nYet we need that dopamine tho.",
">\n\nYe",
">\n\nI don’t know… lots of women seem to get upset, if they are asked out by their friends",
">\n\nBut if that relationship ends poorly you end up losing a great friend.",
">\n\nMy partner and I weren't friends before but we are definitely best friends now after nearly 20 years together",
">\n\nMe and my wife started as friends, we have been together nearly 20 years. And yes, there is a honeymoon phase.",
">\n\nEnemies to lovers is the way to go :D",
">\n\nYeah, the challenge is getting into a friendship with someone of the opposite sex",
">\n\nI dont like the way my friend smells. A relationship therapist says that’s Red flag. Not that they are bad there just won’t be any chemistry.",
">\n\nFor me it doesn’t work like that.\nOnce I put someone in the category of friend they never move from it. Most of the people have dated long term we had romantic chemistry immediately and slept together on the 1st or 2nd date. If it takes much longer than that then we probably don’t genuinely find each other attractive. I would say my limit would probably be 5 dates."
] |
>
I think this is very different for everybody. I've never gone from friends to romantic relationship, and I don't think I could ever do it. I really don't see how you can suddenly be attracted to someone. | [
"I was good friends with my husband for about 8 years before we started dating. I think we both just needed to grow up a bit. But when we told our friend group we started dating the general reactions was \"about time!\" So I guess it was obvious to everyone but us lol.",
">\n\nMe and my first wife were like rhat",
">\n\nThen what happened?",
">\n\nThen you get told \"I wish I met someone like you.\"",
">\n\nThey make for the most difficult breakups,",
">\n\nSometimes. A better phrase would be that the strongest romantic relationships are also the strongest friendships.\nAlso The honeymoon phase is all relationships. Friendships and lovers. It tends to stop in all relationship when kids get involved 😬",
">\n\nEh, I agree with OP and think it's unpopular because the number of people who meet this way is plummeting, so the acknowledgement makes those people feel insecure.\nOf course you can start a relationship romantically and have it remain successful indefinitely as long as you also build friendship along the way. But there are two key areas this method can never truly replicate:\n\n\nHaving your respect for someone develop 100% independently of your attraction to them. I know a fair number of couples that can't seem to untangle respect and attraction. So when their partner falls in attractiveness it also lowers their overall respect for them. Sometimes that tracks... But sometimes it doesn't (for example, after kids when both people are too tired muster much attraction). Eventually, it leads to problems.\n\n\nAccountability. When you meet through and share a community, there are repercussions for acting a fool. When your only connection to each other is your relationship, there is less incentive to remain civil because you won't be judged/punished by 3rd parties if you don't.\n\n\nIf you look at the complaints that GenZ and younger Millennials have about dating, a lot them can be summed up as \"I'm being treated like a commodity, not like a person.\" Having mutual social ties prevents a lot of that.\nI 100% agree with you about the Honeymoon phase though. After 3 years of being close friends, I started dating my now fiance. Strongest Honeymoon phase I've ever experienced, and also the longest - it's yet to end two years in (and we won't be having kids, so maybe it never will).",
">\n\nIf you meet somebody you’re attracted to, there is no reason you can’t build your romantic relationship along with your friendship. This is typically what i did in all of my relationships. If we couldn’t connect on a more in depth way than attraction, the relationship didn’t last long enough to even call it a relationship. \nA romantic relationship isn’t different than any other except romantic ones tend to involve people feeling more intimate with each other. But it’s the same as if you meet somebody you could never be attracted to. You get to know them. It’s all just regular relationship stuff. If you get into a relationship and don’t bond with that person, friendship or romantic or even family, it doesn’t matter. It’s going to be a fail",
">\n\nI met my wife in a bar. I was drunk as shit and my pickup line was \"You're cute, wanna make out?\"\nShe said \"hell no\", but I talked to her again the next day when I was sober and we hit it off instantly. \nI think the best relationships just don't involve the games, or one person chasing until the other finally settles and gives in.",
">\n\nThis is at least plausible. I agree that the strongest romantic relationships contain an element of robust friendship, but I'm not sure that you need to START like this first. It's possible to develop romance and friendship concurrently.",
">\n\n\nIt's possible to develop romance and friendship concurrently.\n\nI really think this is what happened between my wife and I. We met online gaming in 2000. That doesn't sound revolutinary by today's standards but then it was. We talked more and more and it just kind of developed that we were friends, then it moved to RL and not just games. We became best friends and lovers all at the same time. Been together ever since.",
">\n\n\nWe met online gaming in 2000. Been together ever since.\n\nDon't give redditors too much hope..\njk congrats!",
">\n\nLOL. It was a text based online trivia game. No photos no voice. Just text. You really get to know someone that way. No distractions.",
">\n\nAgreeable. I wouldnt say \"The strongest romantic relationships\" HAVE to start that way, but the ones that do tend to be strong romantic relationships.",
">\n\nI think you’re projecting. My 25 years-and-counting relationship with my wife started out on a foundation of raw, animalistic lust.",
">\n\nBut on the other hand there are plenty of people that are best friends, try to date and realize they have no romantic thing, and afterwards it's getting weird etc. \nYou need a romantic and friendship-base, if you want to stay happy togehter. But what comes first is basically irrelevant.",
">\n\nThat’s great since every time I’ve caught feelings for a friend I also lost them as a friend",
">\n\nThe trick is to not stare at them intently for too long at a time",
">\n\nPeople struggle with dating because of these types of opinions. There is no one way to develop a good relationship, there are many. And one way that works for some people can be the exact reason it fails for others. It depends on everyone involved.",
">\n\nTotally agree, I was friends with my wife for 2 years before we began dating. We will be having our 15th wedding anniversary in a couple weeks.",
">\n\nCongratulations! Yay for best friends!!",
">\n\nI sorta disagree, from personal experience.\nWhen I dated someone who I'd been friends with for years, it didn't turn out well. Yeah sure, I knew the bad and good things about them. But that's a double edged sword, because they figured that I would 'be okay with' the same things now that we were in a relationship. There was nothing new for me to learn about him and no bonding experiences that could help us know each other deeper/better, because we already knew each other incredibly well. He wouldn't shut up about his ex before or during our relationship. I gave him an ultimatum and he only continued. I broke up with him and then became an ex he won't shut up about. \nHowever, when I met my current long distance partner, we only knew each other a month before getting together, as there was relatively quick mutual attraction. Our relationship is now 5 years strong and learning new things about them is/has been a bonding experience that I didn't have with the aforementioned ex of mine.\nSo, I think this isn't true in all cases.",
">\n\nI think you don't mean the strongest but safest. All of the things you mentioned are found in long term partners of dating apps and such as well, but of course they also might not be.\nWhat you're describing is every long term relationship. The trust building, the friendship. And yes you don't always find that on dating apps vs being friends first. But dating apps offer you a large pool to chose from which is generally much larger than your friend group.\nBut you also have to remember the downsides of dating a friend too. If it doesn't work out what happens to your friendship or friend group? Were you just friends to get close enough to date because that's kinda shitty. Not to mention it's hard to know if they're actually like you or don't want to lose a friend so go along with it.",
">\n\nNot for me, I've been with A LOT of people, I've dated a few as well. My current gf and future wife met when she came into my shop to get piercings done with her friends, she called the shop afterwards and we had sex the next day. We have been dating ever since ( 3 years ) and she Is the first woman I trust completely and feel comfortable and know I want to spend my entire life with her, my last relationship was 9 years, we were friends before that, the one before that was 6 years, also friends before. So, no, there really is no rules for making the \"perfect relationship\". My \"one night stand\" turned into the woman im going to spend my life with. Seems others have pointed this out as well. This is projection",
">\n\nMy friend found his first girlfriend on Tindr and she was an abusive narcassist (he left her thank god)\nI was a platonic friend with my bf for 3 years before dating him, and we love each other so fucking much",
">\n\nGood for you!\nNonetheless, all scenarios exist around the same percentage:\n- starting as friends becoming good romantic\n- starting as friends and not being good romantic partners\n- starting as a date/lust and becoming good romantically\n- starting as a date/lust and it does not work out",
">\n\nNot the same percentage, OP is right that you'll find a fulfilling relationship more often in person and starting off as friends.",
">\n\nNot that I don’t believe you, but do you have a source?\nThe best relationships I know are from people in the middle: dating, never knew (or interacted with) each other but taking it slow. People who jump too quickly end up fighting, and the people who were friends for so long do manage, but at the end it seems they do divorce because the spark is gone\nAgain, got no proof for that. Just what it seems",
">\n\nYou're asking me for sauce and yet you have failed to provide sauce yourself for your claim that all relationship types are equally occuring. You can only make a subjetive opinion on the matter and our views will be completely different because experiences are uniaue to the individual.\nPeople who enter marriages quickly end up leaving soon because they failed to know each other better. But instead of dating, they could've literally been friends for a long time and that qualifies for 'getting to know each other' and so jumping into marriage might end up being long term. I guess its dofferent for everyone, but I always wanted to meet my partner in real life either at study or work because I know we would be similar on those grounds. I did and I'm happy, and I'm happy because I got to know him more in the safe friendzone. It was a slow process but it was worth it.",
">\n\nI somewhat agree, but not everyone is lucky enough to have or can stay in social circles where you find your s/o.",
">\n\nI think it kinda boils down to the question, what was first, egg or chicken. You won't have full romantic relationship without sex and the same goes for lust based ones only.\nThis is bit of a myth that you can grow yourself a partner, especially after teenage phase, so you either hit or not into someone compatible making it a luck game, requiring lot of volume to get some points. You can start with passionate sex and just score the best partner in the world or you can start with friendship and never make it till some phase.",
">\n\nIs their proof because my evidence says every time u do that she cheats and you lose a good friend",
">\n\nI actually don't think this is as unpopular as you might think. I think at least some people looking for a steamy romance are not necessarily thinking about a life partner, which is totally ok. In the context of looking for a life partner, this seems pretty common.\nThat said, there are some cases where I'd strongly disagree. Dating allows you to filter people out who have definite life incompatibilities with you. Falling for your friends is great if your friend is compatible with you, but sometimes they're not. I've fallen in love with two close friends, neither who I ever would have gone on a date with (both of them fell for me back). In the end, the friendships turned toxic and fell apart because we wanted things from each other that we actually weren't willing to give, given what we wanted from life. I've honestly had much better luck falling in lust with someone, hanging out with them to see if we're baseline compatible, if not long term, and going from there. This isn't like a one-size-fits-all, but there are definite reasons to date strangers.",
">\n\nI’m in a 5 year relationship with someone who I was friends with. I knew him for like ten years now. I do disagree tho, we definitely had a honeymoon phase",
">\n\nNo. This type of shit is what leads mfs that you just want to be friends with to have some false ass hope for the future. I hate this and if someone just wants to be friends they just want to be friends. I'm not saying it never happens but 9/10 if you don't see them that way..... you never will",
">\n\nI started dating my now wife after we were friends for four years. Sparks are overrated.",
">\n\nI wasn't looking for a relationship. Eventually it just happened.",
">\n\nI fell for my husband after being friends for seven months. I had no initial attraction to him, we were just in the same field in doctoral school and interacted a lot. I was actually in another relationship when I first met him. It wasn’t until we worked closely together and got to know each other on a deeper level months later that a spark started to form. After all those months, I suddenly felt such a deep attraction to him I couldn’t ignore it. \nAll of my previous relationships were like that too. I have never felt instant attraction to any person. It always had to grow with time.",
">\n\nThat's how it worked out for me.",
">\n\nI already knew all of those things about my wife because I was working a crap job for low pay when we met. The entire reason I went back to school was for her. It still took four more years to finish my degree and I didn’t have very much money or time between work and school. She stuck with me through those hard times. I didn’t have to just be her friend but she definitely let it be known that she wouldn’t marry me until I finished college. :)",
">\n\nVery true in my case. I didn’t notice him for years. Then we were just friends. Then best friends. Then best friends that say “I love you” to each-other. But finally i resized my true feelings. Ive been with him 2 long years. I wish I loved him sooner because he’s amazing.",
">\n\nThey make for the most difficult breakups, too.",
">\n\nMaybe, but I dont ruin friendships cuz they are valuable so no.",
">\n\nThis is so true. Friends first! I met my fiance on Facebook through our college class group. I dm'd her first and we spoke for three months as really good friends before meeting in person in the fall. That first week we clicked and knew our intentions. We never expected to date. Fast forward 10 years later ( including 3 years of long distance), we have been living together for two years and get married in Oct. Til this day we love each other very much, and is because we see each other as best friends before partners.",
">\n\nBurying the lede, it’s just better than apps, which are fake as fuck and inflate your self worth.",
">\n\nTrue imo the best relationships are the ones where both partners fully trust and know each other's",
">\n\nI agree, but also because I cannot develop feelings or a spark for someone without knowing them for a long time first. I have never just met a person and instantly had feelings for them.",
">\n\nCompletely the opposite in my opinion. Getting to know someone and having instant sparks and slowly falling in love as you get to know more about them is the best feeling in the world. Often times friends first also break up its just a lot more traumatic and you run a lot more risks about breaking up your friend group and stuff like that.",
">\n\nI disagree. The worst relationship i had was with my best friend. She and i were so fucking toxic to each other, that when we broke up and still had to see each other (Same group of friends), we had to wait 5 years until we were ready to be friends again. \nTo all my fellow guys, don't date your female best friend, you'll end up losing a good friend",
">\n\nI think for some people it’s hard to break out of the mindset once you become friends that this person is meant for friendship. After categorizing some people as friends and others as potential love interests, it’s hard to break that boundary in your head.",
">\n\nIf the relationship ended as not platonic then it was never platonic",
">\n\nThe two best relationships I had were with people who we lived together first, became friends, and then lovers, and then partners. They were really sweet relationships and I hold them close to my heart. \nBecause of this, my rule of thumb is friends first, lovers second and it’s never failed me.",
">\n\nMy rule of thumb is the same, too. All for reasons outlined in this post.",
">\n\nYou are in the friend zone aren't you",
">\n\nStrong disagree. Platonic friendships lead to chemistry-less marriages. Was definitely not friends with my husband before we got married, fancied him too much and still do",
">\n\nThat big crazy love feeling is what attaches us to a person. It’s like a drug and our brain will remember what gave us that feeling while our hearts will tell the brain to keep pursing that person who gave us that good feeling, logical or not. When bad things keep happening in a relationship that good feeling gets over weighed by the bad and that this person is now seen as someone who causes bad feelings instead.. or danger in our brain. Some relationships work out some don’t, you have to remember we hear more about those that don’t then do.\nPeople who are strongly attracted to each other can’t be just friends, nature won’t allow it. They either stop being friends, set boundaries, or give in. I feel like those who started platonic friends means one usually likes the other more then the other does and is looking for security and safety more then chemistry and happiness.",
">\n\nNah, for some of us to get that “in love” feeling we have to know someone for a long time. I never just meet someone and feel anything for them. It took me seven months of friendship to fall for my now husband, but when I finally did, it was every bit as powerful and very much that “drug addicted spark” feeling that you are describing. So I think we are all just different with this.",
">\n\nTook y’all 7 months to give in is all I’m hearing. You felt connection towards each other.",
">\n\nNope, I legitimately was not interested in him in the beginning. I didn’t even find him physically appealing at first. Something changed once I started to interact more with him and got to know his mind over months.\nAnd every other relationship I’ve had has been the same. I have never once felt instant connection to a person. It always takes a long time for it to set in. I need that mental connection and build up.",
">\n\nThat’s still the same thing to me. you got to know him even as friends you developed feelings for him.",
">\n\nYes, but the point is that it happened after months of friendship first, not at the forefront. Which is why many people prefer to start platonically and let things develop.",
">\n\nI’m not sure this is an unpopular opinion….",
">\n\nIt neither popular nor unpopular. Some friendships work out romantically. Other people meet and they have been married 20+ years. No one is better",
">\n\nNah, all happy long-term couples I know started as a romantic relationship. I don't even know how you could have a long platonic friendship and then suddenly feel romantic love and sexual attraction if that wasn't there from the start. If there was romantic connection all along, then you were never friends, you were just taking it slow.",
">\n\nis it weird that I don't believe that relationship between partners can ever be 100% platonic? it is not to disagree with your point, but the initial interest into the engagement must be as least sexual or romantic at some point. It is not to say that it is all that simple, but being a man and having 24/7 urges makes me question dudes who are just friends with female/they them counterpart.",
">\n\nYour urges are entirely your own",
">\n\nyes but my point is that in the heart any interaction that extends to the friendship department among opposite genders are usually have at least of a pretext of a romantic/sexual interest.\nthe interplay of those tensions create the pretext for extending the relationship.\nit is not to say that while getting to know someone you might loose/ or lessen that desire and it can be replaced by the deep bond, but once that bond officially ends in sexual/romantic territory, you cannot agrue in good faith that you were \"just\" friends.",
">\n\nCommon sense, not an unpopular opinion. Love at first sight is not that common, and often doesn't lead to anything anyway. You have to get to know a person before a romance can really start.",
">\n\nWe started as a one night stand, and met every day after, been together for 11 now, so I have to disagree lol.",
">\n\n11 days? I'm impressed \n/s ik what you meant",
">\n\nAha, nice one. Yeah I should have wrote years",
">\n\nI guess.\nPeople are vain and horny.\npeople overestimate their own worth.\nFriendship between men and women are not meant to be.\nDifferent values, expectations, eventually someone gets taken for granted \nHow fucking starved for affection people are.\nIn a ideal world people have healthy relation and friends slowly turning lovers.\nYet we need that dopamine tho.",
">\n\nYe",
">\n\nI don’t know… lots of women seem to get upset, if they are asked out by their friends",
">\n\nBut if that relationship ends poorly you end up losing a great friend.",
">\n\nMy partner and I weren't friends before but we are definitely best friends now after nearly 20 years together",
">\n\nMe and my wife started as friends, we have been together nearly 20 years. And yes, there is a honeymoon phase.",
">\n\nEnemies to lovers is the way to go :D",
">\n\nYeah, the challenge is getting into a friendship with someone of the opposite sex",
">\n\nI dont like the way my friend smells. A relationship therapist says that’s Red flag. Not that they are bad there just won’t be any chemistry.",
">\n\nFor me it doesn’t work like that.\nOnce I put someone in the category of friend they never move from it. Most of the people have dated long term we had romantic chemistry immediately and slept together on the 1st or 2nd date. If it takes much longer than that then we probably don’t genuinely find each other attractive. I would say my limit would probably be 5 dates.",
">\n\nThat's why people not looking for a relationship don't want to hang out as platonic friends.\nEspecially when a guy is saying \"It's platonic, I just want to hang out as friends\"\nGirls know the guy will eventually say they are dating."
] |
>
Hubby and I were friends before dating and marrying. Married now 16 years and been through hell and back together. Still standing strong and in the words of my 11 year old “a thriving marriage” | [
"I was good friends with my husband for about 8 years before we started dating. I think we both just needed to grow up a bit. But when we told our friend group we started dating the general reactions was \"about time!\" So I guess it was obvious to everyone but us lol.",
">\n\nMe and my first wife were like rhat",
">\n\nThen what happened?",
">\n\nThen you get told \"I wish I met someone like you.\"",
">\n\nThey make for the most difficult breakups,",
">\n\nSometimes. A better phrase would be that the strongest romantic relationships are also the strongest friendships.\nAlso The honeymoon phase is all relationships. Friendships and lovers. It tends to stop in all relationship when kids get involved 😬",
">\n\nEh, I agree with OP and think it's unpopular because the number of people who meet this way is plummeting, so the acknowledgement makes those people feel insecure.\nOf course you can start a relationship romantically and have it remain successful indefinitely as long as you also build friendship along the way. But there are two key areas this method can never truly replicate:\n\n\nHaving your respect for someone develop 100% independently of your attraction to them. I know a fair number of couples that can't seem to untangle respect and attraction. So when their partner falls in attractiveness it also lowers their overall respect for them. Sometimes that tracks... But sometimes it doesn't (for example, after kids when both people are too tired muster much attraction). Eventually, it leads to problems.\n\n\nAccountability. When you meet through and share a community, there are repercussions for acting a fool. When your only connection to each other is your relationship, there is less incentive to remain civil because you won't be judged/punished by 3rd parties if you don't.\n\n\nIf you look at the complaints that GenZ and younger Millennials have about dating, a lot them can be summed up as \"I'm being treated like a commodity, not like a person.\" Having mutual social ties prevents a lot of that.\nI 100% agree with you about the Honeymoon phase though. After 3 years of being close friends, I started dating my now fiance. Strongest Honeymoon phase I've ever experienced, and also the longest - it's yet to end two years in (and we won't be having kids, so maybe it never will).",
">\n\nIf you meet somebody you’re attracted to, there is no reason you can’t build your romantic relationship along with your friendship. This is typically what i did in all of my relationships. If we couldn’t connect on a more in depth way than attraction, the relationship didn’t last long enough to even call it a relationship. \nA romantic relationship isn’t different than any other except romantic ones tend to involve people feeling more intimate with each other. But it’s the same as if you meet somebody you could never be attracted to. You get to know them. It’s all just regular relationship stuff. If you get into a relationship and don’t bond with that person, friendship or romantic or even family, it doesn’t matter. It’s going to be a fail",
">\n\nI met my wife in a bar. I was drunk as shit and my pickup line was \"You're cute, wanna make out?\"\nShe said \"hell no\", but I talked to her again the next day when I was sober and we hit it off instantly. \nI think the best relationships just don't involve the games, or one person chasing until the other finally settles and gives in.",
">\n\nThis is at least plausible. I agree that the strongest romantic relationships contain an element of robust friendship, but I'm not sure that you need to START like this first. It's possible to develop romance and friendship concurrently.",
">\n\n\nIt's possible to develop romance and friendship concurrently.\n\nI really think this is what happened between my wife and I. We met online gaming in 2000. That doesn't sound revolutinary by today's standards but then it was. We talked more and more and it just kind of developed that we were friends, then it moved to RL and not just games. We became best friends and lovers all at the same time. Been together ever since.",
">\n\n\nWe met online gaming in 2000. Been together ever since.\n\nDon't give redditors too much hope..\njk congrats!",
">\n\nLOL. It was a text based online trivia game. No photos no voice. Just text. You really get to know someone that way. No distractions.",
">\n\nAgreeable. I wouldnt say \"The strongest romantic relationships\" HAVE to start that way, but the ones that do tend to be strong romantic relationships.",
">\n\nI think you’re projecting. My 25 years-and-counting relationship with my wife started out on a foundation of raw, animalistic lust.",
">\n\nBut on the other hand there are plenty of people that are best friends, try to date and realize they have no romantic thing, and afterwards it's getting weird etc. \nYou need a romantic and friendship-base, if you want to stay happy togehter. But what comes first is basically irrelevant.",
">\n\nThat’s great since every time I’ve caught feelings for a friend I also lost them as a friend",
">\n\nThe trick is to not stare at them intently for too long at a time",
">\n\nPeople struggle with dating because of these types of opinions. There is no one way to develop a good relationship, there are many. And one way that works for some people can be the exact reason it fails for others. It depends on everyone involved.",
">\n\nTotally agree, I was friends with my wife for 2 years before we began dating. We will be having our 15th wedding anniversary in a couple weeks.",
">\n\nCongratulations! Yay for best friends!!",
">\n\nI sorta disagree, from personal experience.\nWhen I dated someone who I'd been friends with for years, it didn't turn out well. Yeah sure, I knew the bad and good things about them. But that's a double edged sword, because they figured that I would 'be okay with' the same things now that we were in a relationship. There was nothing new for me to learn about him and no bonding experiences that could help us know each other deeper/better, because we already knew each other incredibly well. He wouldn't shut up about his ex before or during our relationship. I gave him an ultimatum and he only continued. I broke up with him and then became an ex he won't shut up about. \nHowever, when I met my current long distance partner, we only knew each other a month before getting together, as there was relatively quick mutual attraction. Our relationship is now 5 years strong and learning new things about them is/has been a bonding experience that I didn't have with the aforementioned ex of mine.\nSo, I think this isn't true in all cases.",
">\n\nI think you don't mean the strongest but safest. All of the things you mentioned are found in long term partners of dating apps and such as well, but of course they also might not be.\nWhat you're describing is every long term relationship. The trust building, the friendship. And yes you don't always find that on dating apps vs being friends first. But dating apps offer you a large pool to chose from which is generally much larger than your friend group.\nBut you also have to remember the downsides of dating a friend too. If it doesn't work out what happens to your friendship or friend group? Were you just friends to get close enough to date because that's kinda shitty. Not to mention it's hard to know if they're actually like you or don't want to lose a friend so go along with it.",
">\n\nNot for me, I've been with A LOT of people, I've dated a few as well. My current gf and future wife met when she came into my shop to get piercings done with her friends, she called the shop afterwards and we had sex the next day. We have been dating ever since ( 3 years ) and she Is the first woman I trust completely and feel comfortable and know I want to spend my entire life with her, my last relationship was 9 years, we were friends before that, the one before that was 6 years, also friends before. So, no, there really is no rules for making the \"perfect relationship\". My \"one night stand\" turned into the woman im going to spend my life with. Seems others have pointed this out as well. This is projection",
">\n\nMy friend found his first girlfriend on Tindr and she was an abusive narcassist (he left her thank god)\nI was a platonic friend with my bf for 3 years before dating him, and we love each other so fucking much",
">\n\nGood for you!\nNonetheless, all scenarios exist around the same percentage:\n- starting as friends becoming good romantic\n- starting as friends and not being good romantic partners\n- starting as a date/lust and becoming good romantically\n- starting as a date/lust and it does not work out",
">\n\nNot the same percentage, OP is right that you'll find a fulfilling relationship more often in person and starting off as friends.",
">\n\nNot that I don’t believe you, but do you have a source?\nThe best relationships I know are from people in the middle: dating, never knew (or interacted with) each other but taking it slow. People who jump too quickly end up fighting, and the people who were friends for so long do manage, but at the end it seems they do divorce because the spark is gone\nAgain, got no proof for that. Just what it seems",
">\n\nYou're asking me for sauce and yet you have failed to provide sauce yourself for your claim that all relationship types are equally occuring. You can only make a subjetive opinion on the matter and our views will be completely different because experiences are uniaue to the individual.\nPeople who enter marriages quickly end up leaving soon because they failed to know each other better. But instead of dating, they could've literally been friends for a long time and that qualifies for 'getting to know each other' and so jumping into marriage might end up being long term. I guess its dofferent for everyone, but I always wanted to meet my partner in real life either at study or work because I know we would be similar on those grounds. I did and I'm happy, and I'm happy because I got to know him more in the safe friendzone. It was a slow process but it was worth it.",
">\n\nI somewhat agree, but not everyone is lucky enough to have or can stay in social circles where you find your s/o.",
">\n\nI think it kinda boils down to the question, what was first, egg or chicken. You won't have full romantic relationship without sex and the same goes for lust based ones only.\nThis is bit of a myth that you can grow yourself a partner, especially after teenage phase, so you either hit or not into someone compatible making it a luck game, requiring lot of volume to get some points. You can start with passionate sex and just score the best partner in the world or you can start with friendship and never make it till some phase.",
">\n\nIs their proof because my evidence says every time u do that she cheats and you lose a good friend",
">\n\nI actually don't think this is as unpopular as you might think. I think at least some people looking for a steamy romance are not necessarily thinking about a life partner, which is totally ok. In the context of looking for a life partner, this seems pretty common.\nThat said, there are some cases where I'd strongly disagree. Dating allows you to filter people out who have definite life incompatibilities with you. Falling for your friends is great if your friend is compatible with you, but sometimes they're not. I've fallen in love with two close friends, neither who I ever would have gone on a date with (both of them fell for me back). In the end, the friendships turned toxic and fell apart because we wanted things from each other that we actually weren't willing to give, given what we wanted from life. I've honestly had much better luck falling in lust with someone, hanging out with them to see if we're baseline compatible, if not long term, and going from there. This isn't like a one-size-fits-all, but there are definite reasons to date strangers.",
">\n\nI’m in a 5 year relationship with someone who I was friends with. I knew him for like ten years now. I do disagree tho, we definitely had a honeymoon phase",
">\n\nNo. This type of shit is what leads mfs that you just want to be friends with to have some false ass hope for the future. I hate this and if someone just wants to be friends they just want to be friends. I'm not saying it never happens but 9/10 if you don't see them that way..... you never will",
">\n\nI started dating my now wife after we were friends for four years. Sparks are overrated.",
">\n\nI wasn't looking for a relationship. Eventually it just happened.",
">\n\nI fell for my husband after being friends for seven months. I had no initial attraction to him, we were just in the same field in doctoral school and interacted a lot. I was actually in another relationship when I first met him. It wasn’t until we worked closely together and got to know each other on a deeper level months later that a spark started to form. After all those months, I suddenly felt such a deep attraction to him I couldn’t ignore it. \nAll of my previous relationships were like that too. I have never felt instant attraction to any person. It always had to grow with time.",
">\n\nThat's how it worked out for me.",
">\n\nI already knew all of those things about my wife because I was working a crap job for low pay when we met. The entire reason I went back to school was for her. It still took four more years to finish my degree and I didn’t have very much money or time between work and school. She stuck with me through those hard times. I didn’t have to just be her friend but she definitely let it be known that she wouldn’t marry me until I finished college. :)",
">\n\nVery true in my case. I didn’t notice him for years. Then we were just friends. Then best friends. Then best friends that say “I love you” to each-other. But finally i resized my true feelings. Ive been with him 2 long years. I wish I loved him sooner because he’s amazing.",
">\n\nThey make for the most difficult breakups, too.",
">\n\nMaybe, but I dont ruin friendships cuz they are valuable so no.",
">\n\nThis is so true. Friends first! I met my fiance on Facebook through our college class group. I dm'd her first and we spoke for three months as really good friends before meeting in person in the fall. That first week we clicked and knew our intentions. We never expected to date. Fast forward 10 years later ( including 3 years of long distance), we have been living together for two years and get married in Oct. Til this day we love each other very much, and is because we see each other as best friends before partners.",
">\n\nBurying the lede, it’s just better than apps, which are fake as fuck and inflate your self worth.",
">\n\nTrue imo the best relationships are the ones where both partners fully trust and know each other's",
">\n\nI agree, but also because I cannot develop feelings or a spark for someone without knowing them for a long time first. I have never just met a person and instantly had feelings for them.",
">\n\nCompletely the opposite in my opinion. Getting to know someone and having instant sparks and slowly falling in love as you get to know more about them is the best feeling in the world. Often times friends first also break up its just a lot more traumatic and you run a lot more risks about breaking up your friend group and stuff like that.",
">\n\nI disagree. The worst relationship i had was with my best friend. She and i were so fucking toxic to each other, that when we broke up and still had to see each other (Same group of friends), we had to wait 5 years until we were ready to be friends again. \nTo all my fellow guys, don't date your female best friend, you'll end up losing a good friend",
">\n\nI think for some people it’s hard to break out of the mindset once you become friends that this person is meant for friendship. After categorizing some people as friends and others as potential love interests, it’s hard to break that boundary in your head.",
">\n\nIf the relationship ended as not platonic then it was never platonic",
">\n\nThe two best relationships I had were with people who we lived together first, became friends, and then lovers, and then partners. They were really sweet relationships and I hold them close to my heart. \nBecause of this, my rule of thumb is friends first, lovers second and it’s never failed me.",
">\n\nMy rule of thumb is the same, too. All for reasons outlined in this post.",
">\n\nYou are in the friend zone aren't you",
">\n\nStrong disagree. Platonic friendships lead to chemistry-less marriages. Was definitely not friends with my husband before we got married, fancied him too much and still do",
">\n\nThat big crazy love feeling is what attaches us to a person. It’s like a drug and our brain will remember what gave us that feeling while our hearts will tell the brain to keep pursing that person who gave us that good feeling, logical or not. When bad things keep happening in a relationship that good feeling gets over weighed by the bad and that this person is now seen as someone who causes bad feelings instead.. or danger in our brain. Some relationships work out some don’t, you have to remember we hear more about those that don’t then do.\nPeople who are strongly attracted to each other can’t be just friends, nature won’t allow it. They either stop being friends, set boundaries, or give in. I feel like those who started platonic friends means one usually likes the other more then the other does and is looking for security and safety more then chemistry and happiness.",
">\n\nNah, for some of us to get that “in love” feeling we have to know someone for a long time. I never just meet someone and feel anything for them. It took me seven months of friendship to fall for my now husband, but when I finally did, it was every bit as powerful and very much that “drug addicted spark” feeling that you are describing. So I think we are all just different with this.",
">\n\nTook y’all 7 months to give in is all I’m hearing. You felt connection towards each other.",
">\n\nNope, I legitimately was not interested in him in the beginning. I didn’t even find him physically appealing at first. Something changed once I started to interact more with him and got to know his mind over months.\nAnd every other relationship I’ve had has been the same. I have never once felt instant connection to a person. It always takes a long time for it to set in. I need that mental connection and build up.",
">\n\nThat’s still the same thing to me. you got to know him even as friends you developed feelings for him.",
">\n\nYes, but the point is that it happened after months of friendship first, not at the forefront. Which is why many people prefer to start platonically and let things develop.",
">\n\nI’m not sure this is an unpopular opinion….",
">\n\nIt neither popular nor unpopular. Some friendships work out romantically. Other people meet and they have been married 20+ years. No one is better",
">\n\nNah, all happy long-term couples I know started as a romantic relationship. I don't even know how you could have a long platonic friendship and then suddenly feel romantic love and sexual attraction if that wasn't there from the start. If there was romantic connection all along, then you were never friends, you were just taking it slow.",
">\n\nis it weird that I don't believe that relationship between partners can ever be 100% platonic? it is not to disagree with your point, but the initial interest into the engagement must be as least sexual or romantic at some point. It is not to say that it is all that simple, but being a man and having 24/7 urges makes me question dudes who are just friends with female/they them counterpart.",
">\n\nYour urges are entirely your own",
">\n\nyes but my point is that in the heart any interaction that extends to the friendship department among opposite genders are usually have at least of a pretext of a romantic/sexual interest.\nthe interplay of those tensions create the pretext for extending the relationship.\nit is not to say that while getting to know someone you might loose/ or lessen that desire and it can be replaced by the deep bond, but once that bond officially ends in sexual/romantic territory, you cannot agrue in good faith that you were \"just\" friends.",
">\n\nCommon sense, not an unpopular opinion. Love at first sight is not that common, and often doesn't lead to anything anyway. You have to get to know a person before a romance can really start.",
">\n\nWe started as a one night stand, and met every day after, been together for 11 now, so I have to disagree lol.",
">\n\n11 days? I'm impressed \n/s ik what you meant",
">\n\nAha, nice one. Yeah I should have wrote years",
">\n\nI guess.\nPeople are vain and horny.\npeople overestimate their own worth.\nFriendship between men and women are not meant to be.\nDifferent values, expectations, eventually someone gets taken for granted \nHow fucking starved for affection people are.\nIn a ideal world people have healthy relation and friends slowly turning lovers.\nYet we need that dopamine tho.",
">\n\nYe",
">\n\nI don’t know… lots of women seem to get upset, if they are asked out by their friends",
">\n\nBut if that relationship ends poorly you end up losing a great friend.",
">\n\nMy partner and I weren't friends before but we are definitely best friends now after nearly 20 years together",
">\n\nMe and my wife started as friends, we have been together nearly 20 years. And yes, there is a honeymoon phase.",
">\n\nEnemies to lovers is the way to go :D",
">\n\nYeah, the challenge is getting into a friendship with someone of the opposite sex",
">\n\nI dont like the way my friend smells. A relationship therapist says that’s Red flag. Not that they are bad there just won’t be any chemistry.",
">\n\nFor me it doesn’t work like that.\nOnce I put someone in the category of friend they never move from it. Most of the people have dated long term we had romantic chemistry immediately and slept together on the 1st or 2nd date. If it takes much longer than that then we probably don’t genuinely find each other attractive. I would say my limit would probably be 5 dates.",
">\n\nThat's why people not looking for a relationship don't want to hang out as platonic friends.\nEspecially when a guy is saying \"It's platonic, I just want to hang out as friends\"\nGirls know the guy will eventually say they are dating.",
">\n\nI think this is very different for everybody. I've never gone from friends to romantic relationship, and I don't think I could ever do it. I really don't see how you can suddenly be attracted to someone."
] |
>
I was good friends with my boyfriend before we started dating (met him at work) and after a couple of years and us both changing jobs it just clicked. I think for some people this can really work out. | [
"I was good friends with my husband for about 8 years before we started dating. I think we both just needed to grow up a bit. But when we told our friend group we started dating the general reactions was \"about time!\" So I guess it was obvious to everyone but us lol.",
">\n\nMe and my first wife were like rhat",
">\n\nThen what happened?",
">\n\nThen you get told \"I wish I met someone like you.\"",
">\n\nThey make for the most difficult breakups,",
">\n\nSometimes. A better phrase would be that the strongest romantic relationships are also the strongest friendships.\nAlso The honeymoon phase is all relationships. Friendships and lovers. It tends to stop in all relationship when kids get involved 😬",
">\n\nEh, I agree with OP and think it's unpopular because the number of people who meet this way is plummeting, so the acknowledgement makes those people feel insecure.\nOf course you can start a relationship romantically and have it remain successful indefinitely as long as you also build friendship along the way. But there are two key areas this method can never truly replicate:\n\n\nHaving your respect for someone develop 100% independently of your attraction to them. I know a fair number of couples that can't seem to untangle respect and attraction. So when their partner falls in attractiveness it also lowers their overall respect for them. Sometimes that tracks... But sometimes it doesn't (for example, after kids when both people are too tired muster much attraction). Eventually, it leads to problems.\n\n\nAccountability. When you meet through and share a community, there are repercussions for acting a fool. When your only connection to each other is your relationship, there is less incentive to remain civil because you won't be judged/punished by 3rd parties if you don't.\n\n\nIf you look at the complaints that GenZ and younger Millennials have about dating, a lot them can be summed up as \"I'm being treated like a commodity, not like a person.\" Having mutual social ties prevents a lot of that.\nI 100% agree with you about the Honeymoon phase though. After 3 years of being close friends, I started dating my now fiance. Strongest Honeymoon phase I've ever experienced, and also the longest - it's yet to end two years in (and we won't be having kids, so maybe it never will).",
">\n\nIf you meet somebody you’re attracted to, there is no reason you can’t build your romantic relationship along with your friendship. This is typically what i did in all of my relationships. If we couldn’t connect on a more in depth way than attraction, the relationship didn’t last long enough to even call it a relationship. \nA romantic relationship isn’t different than any other except romantic ones tend to involve people feeling more intimate with each other. But it’s the same as if you meet somebody you could never be attracted to. You get to know them. It’s all just regular relationship stuff. If you get into a relationship and don’t bond with that person, friendship or romantic or even family, it doesn’t matter. It’s going to be a fail",
">\n\nI met my wife in a bar. I was drunk as shit and my pickup line was \"You're cute, wanna make out?\"\nShe said \"hell no\", but I talked to her again the next day when I was sober and we hit it off instantly. \nI think the best relationships just don't involve the games, or one person chasing until the other finally settles and gives in.",
">\n\nThis is at least plausible. I agree that the strongest romantic relationships contain an element of robust friendship, but I'm not sure that you need to START like this first. It's possible to develop romance and friendship concurrently.",
">\n\n\nIt's possible to develop romance and friendship concurrently.\n\nI really think this is what happened between my wife and I. We met online gaming in 2000. That doesn't sound revolutinary by today's standards but then it was. We talked more and more and it just kind of developed that we were friends, then it moved to RL and not just games. We became best friends and lovers all at the same time. Been together ever since.",
">\n\n\nWe met online gaming in 2000. Been together ever since.\n\nDon't give redditors too much hope..\njk congrats!",
">\n\nLOL. It was a text based online trivia game. No photos no voice. Just text. You really get to know someone that way. No distractions.",
">\n\nAgreeable. I wouldnt say \"The strongest romantic relationships\" HAVE to start that way, but the ones that do tend to be strong romantic relationships.",
">\n\nI think you’re projecting. My 25 years-and-counting relationship with my wife started out on a foundation of raw, animalistic lust.",
">\n\nBut on the other hand there are plenty of people that are best friends, try to date and realize they have no romantic thing, and afterwards it's getting weird etc. \nYou need a romantic and friendship-base, if you want to stay happy togehter. But what comes first is basically irrelevant.",
">\n\nThat’s great since every time I’ve caught feelings for a friend I also lost them as a friend",
">\n\nThe trick is to not stare at them intently for too long at a time",
">\n\nPeople struggle with dating because of these types of opinions. There is no one way to develop a good relationship, there are many. And one way that works for some people can be the exact reason it fails for others. It depends on everyone involved.",
">\n\nTotally agree, I was friends with my wife for 2 years before we began dating. We will be having our 15th wedding anniversary in a couple weeks.",
">\n\nCongratulations! Yay for best friends!!",
">\n\nI sorta disagree, from personal experience.\nWhen I dated someone who I'd been friends with for years, it didn't turn out well. Yeah sure, I knew the bad and good things about them. But that's a double edged sword, because they figured that I would 'be okay with' the same things now that we were in a relationship. There was nothing new for me to learn about him and no bonding experiences that could help us know each other deeper/better, because we already knew each other incredibly well. He wouldn't shut up about his ex before or during our relationship. I gave him an ultimatum and he only continued. I broke up with him and then became an ex he won't shut up about. \nHowever, when I met my current long distance partner, we only knew each other a month before getting together, as there was relatively quick mutual attraction. Our relationship is now 5 years strong and learning new things about them is/has been a bonding experience that I didn't have with the aforementioned ex of mine.\nSo, I think this isn't true in all cases.",
">\n\nI think you don't mean the strongest but safest. All of the things you mentioned are found in long term partners of dating apps and such as well, but of course they also might not be.\nWhat you're describing is every long term relationship. The trust building, the friendship. And yes you don't always find that on dating apps vs being friends first. But dating apps offer you a large pool to chose from which is generally much larger than your friend group.\nBut you also have to remember the downsides of dating a friend too. If it doesn't work out what happens to your friendship or friend group? Were you just friends to get close enough to date because that's kinda shitty. Not to mention it's hard to know if they're actually like you or don't want to lose a friend so go along with it.",
">\n\nNot for me, I've been with A LOT of people, I've dated a few as well. My current gf and future wife met when she came into my shop to get piercings done with her friends, she called the shop afterwards and we had sex the next day. We have been dating ever since ( 3 years ) and she Is the first woman I trust completely and feel comfortable and know I want to spend my entire life with her, my last relationship was 9 years, we were friends before that, the one before that was 6 years, also friends before. So, no, there really is no rules for making the \"perfect relationship\". My \"one night stand\" turned into the woman im going to spend my life with. Seems others have pointed this out as well. This is projection",
">\n\nMy friend found his first girlfriend on Tindr and she was an abusive narcassist (he left her thank god)\nI was a platonic friend with my bf for 3 years before dating him, and we love each other so fucking much",
">\n\nGood for you!\nNonetheless, all scenarios exist around the same percentage:\n- starting as friends becoming good romantic\n- starting as friends and not being good romantic partners\n- starting as a date/lust and becoming good romantically\n- starting as a date/lust and it does not work out",
">\n\nNot the same percentage, OP is right that you'll find a fulfilling relationship more often in person and starting off as friends.",
">\n\nNot that I don’t believe you, but do you have a source?\nThe best relationships I know are from people in the middle: dating, never knew (or interacted with) each other but taking it slow. People who jump too quickly end up fighting, and the people who were friends for so long do manage, but at the end it seems they do divorce because the spark is gone\nAgain, got no proof for that. Just what it seems",
">\n\nYou're asking me for sauce and yet you have failed to provide sauce yourself for your claim that all relationship types are equally occuring. You can only make a subjetive opinion on the matter and our views will be completely different because experiences are uniaue to the individual.\nPeople who enter marriages quickly end up leaving soon because they failed to know each other better. But instead of dating, they could've literally been friends for a long time and that qualifies for 'getting to know each other' and so jumping into marriage might end up being long term. I guess its dofferent for everyone, but I always wanted to meet my partner in real life either at study or work because I know we would be similar on those grounds. I did and I'm happy, and I'm happy because I got to know him more in the safe friendzone. It was a slow process but it was worth it.",
">\n\nI somewhat agree, but not everyone is lucky enough to have or can stay in social circles where you find your s/o.",
">\n\nI think it kinda boils down to the question, what was first, egg or chicken. You won't have full romantic relationship without sex and the same goes for lust based ones only.\nThis is bit of a myth that you can grow yourself a partner, especially after teenage phase, so you either hit or not into someone compatible making it a luck game, requiring lot of volume to get some points. You can start with passionate sex and just score the best partner in the world or you can start with friendship and never make it till some phase.",
">\n\nIs their proof because my evidence says every time u do that she cheats and you lose a good friend",
">\n\nI actually don't think this is as unpopular as you might think. I think at least some people looking for a steamy romance are not necessarily thinking about a life partner, which is totally ok. In the context of looking for a life partner, this seems pretty common.\nThat said, there are some cases where I'd strongly disagree. Dating allows you to filter people out who have definite life incompatibilities with you. Falling for your friends is great if your friend is compatible with you, but sometimes they're not. I've fallen in love with two close friends, neither who I ever would have gone on a date with (both of them fell for me back). In the end, the friendships turned toxic and fell apart because we wanted things from each other that we actually weren't willing to give, given what we wanted from life. I've honestly had much better luck falling in lust with someone, hanging out with them to see if we're baseline compatible, if not long term, and going from there. This isn't like a one-size-fits-all, but there are definite reasons to date strangers.",
">\n\nI’m in a 5 year relationship with someone who I was friends with. I knew him for like ten years now. I do disagree tho, we definitely had a honeymoon phase",
">\n\nNo. This type of shit is what leads mfs that you just want to be friends with to have some false ass hope for the future. I hate this and if someone just wants to be friends they just want to be friends. I'm not saying it never happens but 9/10 if you don't see them that way..... you never will",
">\n\nI started dating my now wife after we were friends for four years. Sparks are overrated.",
">\n\nI wasn't looking for a relationship. Eventually it just happened.",
">\n\nI fell for my husband after being friends for seven months. I had no initial attraction to him, we were just in the same field in doctoral school and interacted a lot. I was actually in another relationship when I first met him. It wasn’t until we worked closely together and got to know each other on a deeper level months later that a spark started to form. After all those months, I suddenly felt such a deep attraction to him I couldn’t ignore it. \nAll of my previous relationships were like that too. I have never felt instant attraction to any person. It always had to grow with time.",
">\n\nThat's how it worked out for me.",
">\n\nI already knew all of those things about my wife because I was working a crap job for low pay when we met. The entire reason I went back to school was for her. It still took four more years to finish my degree and I didn’t have very much money or time between work and school. She stuck with me through those hard times. I didn’t have to just be her friend but she definitely let it be known that she wouldn’t marry me until I finished college. :)",
">\n\nVery true in my case. I didn’t notice him for years. Then we were just friends. Then best friends. Then best friends that say “I love you” to each-other. But finally i resized my true feelings. Ive been with him 2 long years. I wish I loved him sooner because he’s amazing.",
">\n\nThey make for the most difficult breakups, too.",
">\n\nMaybe, but I dont ruin friendships cuz they are valuable so no.",
">\n\nThis is so true. Friends first! I met my fiance on Facebook through our college class group. I dm'd her first and we spoke for three months as really good friends before meeting in person in the fall. That first week we clicked and knew our intentions. We never expected to date. Fast forward 10 years later ( including 3 years of long distance), we have been living together for two years and get married in Oct. Til this day we love each other very much, and is because we see each other as best friends before partners.",
">\n\nBurying the lede, it’s just better than apps, which are fake as fuck and inflate your self worth.",
">\n\nTrue imo the best relationships are the ones where both partners fully trust and know each other's",
">\n\nI agree, but also because I cannot develop feelings or a spark for someone without knowing them for a long time first. I have never just met a person and instantly had feelings for them.",
">\n\nCompletely the opposite in my opinion. Getting to know someone and having instant sparks and slowly falling in love as you get to know more about them is the best feeling in the world. Often times friends first also break up its just a lot more traumatic and you run a lot more risks about breaking up your friend group and stuff like that.",
">\n\nI disagree. The worst relationship i had was with my best friend. She and i were so fucking toxic to each other, that when we broke up and still had to see each other (Same group of friends), we had to wait 5 years until we were ready to be friends again. \nTo all my fellow guys, don't date your female best friend, you'll end up losing a good friend",
">\n\nI think for some people it’s hard to break out of the mindset once you become friends that this person is meant for friendship. After categorizing some people as friends and others as potential love interests, it’s hard to break that boundary in your head.",
">\n\nIf the relationship ended as not platonic then it was never platonic",
">\n\nThe two best relationships I had were with people who we lived together first, became friends, and then lovers, and then partners. They were really sweet relationships and I hold them close to my heart. \nBecause of this, my rule of thumb is friends first, lovers second and it’s never failed me.",
">\n\nMy rule of thumb is the same, too. All for reasons outlined in this post.",
">\n\nYou are in the friend zone aren't you",
">\n\nStrong disagree. Platonic friendships lead to chemistry-less marriages. Was definitely not friends with my husband before we got married, fancied him too much and still do",
">\n\nThat big crazy love feeling is what attaches us to a person. It’s like a drug and our brain will remember what gave us that feeling while our hearts will tell the brain to keep pursing that person who gave us that good feeling, logical or not. When bad things keep happening in a relationship that good feeling gets over weighed by the bad and that this person is now seen as someone who causes bad feelings instead.. or danger in our brain. Some relationships work out some don’t, you have to remember we hear more about those that don’t then do.\nPeople who are strongly attracted to each other can’t be just friends, nature won’t allow it. They either stop being friends, set boundaries, or give in. I feel like those who started platonic friends means one usually likes the other more then the other does and is looking for security and safety more then chemistry and happiness.",
">\n\nNah, for some of us to get that “in love” feeling we have to know someone for a long time. I never just meet someone and feel anything for them. It took me seven months of friendship to fall for my now husband, but when I finally did, it was every bit as powerful and very much that “drug addicted spark” feeling that you are describing. So I think we are all just different with this.",
">\n\nTook y’all 7 months to give in is all I’m hearing. You felt connection towards each other.",
">\n\nNope, I legitimately was not interested in him in the beginning. I didn’t even find him physically appealing at first. Something changed once I started to interact more with him and got to know his mind over months.\nAnd every other relationship I’ve had has been the same. I have never once felt instant connection to a person. It always takes a long time for it to set in. I need that mental connection and build up.",
">\n\nThat’s still the same thing to me. you got to know him even as friends you developed feelings for him.",
">\n\nYes, but the point is that it happened after months of friendship first, not at the forefront. Which is why many people prefer to start platonically and let things develop.",
">\n\nI’m not sure this is an unpopular opinion….",
">\n\nIt neither popular nor unpopular. Some friendships work out romantically. Other people meet and they have been married 20+ years. No one is better",
">\n\nNah, all happy long-term couples I know started as a romantic relationship. I don't even know how you could have a long platonic friendship and then suddenly feel romantic love and sexual attraction if that wasn't there from the start. If there was romantic connection all along, then you were never friends, you were just taking it slow.",
">\n\nis it weird that I don't believe that relationship between partners can ever be 100% platonic? it is not to disagree with your point, but the initial interest into the engagement must be as least sexual or romantic at some point. It is not to say that it is all that simple, but being a man and having 24/7 urges makes me question dudes who are just friends with female/they them counterpart.",
">\n\nYour urges are entirely your own",
">\n\nyes but my point is that in the heart any interaction that extends to the friendship department among opposite genders are usually have at least of a pretext of a romantic/sexual interest.\nthe interplay of those tensions create the pretext for extending the relationship.\nit is not to say that while getting to know someone you might loose/ or lessen that desire and it can be replaced by the deep bond, but once that bond officially ends in sexual/romantic territory, you cannot agrue in good faith that you were \"just\" friends.",
">\n\nCommon sense, not an unpopular opinion. Love at first sight is not that common, and often doesn't lead to anything anyway. You have to get to know a person before a romance can really start.",
">\n\nWe started as a one night stand, and met every day after, been together for 11 now, so I have to disagree lol.",
">\n\n11 days? I'm impressed \n/s ik what you meant",
">\n\nAha, nice one. Yeah I should have wrote years",
">\n\nI guess.\nPeople are vain and horny.\npeople overestimate their own worth.\nFriendship between men and women are not meant to be.\nDifferent values, expectations, eventually someone gets taken for granted \nHow fucking starved for affection people are.\nIn a ideal world people have healthy relation and friends slowly turning lovers.\nYet we need that dopamine tho.",
">\n\nYe",
">\n\nI don’t know… lots of women seem to get upset, if they are asked out by their friends",
">\n\nBut if that relationship ends poorly you end up losing a great friend.",
">\n\nMy partner and I weren't friends before but we are definitely best friends now after nearly 20 years together",
">\n\nMe and my wife started as friends, we have been together nearly 20 years. And yes, there is a honeymoon phase.",
">\n\nEnemies to lovers is the way to go :D",
">\n\nYeah, the challenge is getting into a friendship with someone of the opposite sex",
">\n\nI dont like the way my friend smells. A relationship therapist says that’s Red flag. Not that they are bad there just won’t be any chemistry.",
">\n\nFor me it doesn’t work like that.\nOnce I put someone in the category of friend they never move from it. Most of the people have dated long term we had romantic chemistry immediately and slept together on the 1st or 2nd date. If it takes much longer than that then we probably don’t genuinely find each other attractive. I would say my limit would probably be 5 dates.",
">\n\nThat's why people not looking for a relationship don't want to hang out as platonic friends.\nEspecially when a guy is saying \"It's platonic, I just want to hang out as friends\"\nGirls know the guy will eventually say they are dating.",
">\n\nI think this is very different for everybody. I've never gone from friends to romantic relationship, and I don't think I could ever do it. I really don't see how you can suddenly be attracted to someone.",
">\n\nHubby and I were friends before dating and marrying. Married now 16 years and been through hell and back together. Still standing strong and in the words of my 11 year old “a thriving marriage”"
] |
>
It's a double edge sword I advice people from not doing friendship into relationship. Coz if break up happens you loose tow people. Your GF and your bestfriend, which is the worst and it will be the most lonely and depressing time of your life.
I talk out of my experience, and I suggest if you can avoid don't mix friendships with romance it can happen if it does good luck to you and I hope it works. But if have the choice not don't. | [
"I was good friends with my husband for about 8 years before we started dating. I think we both just needed to grow up a bit. But when we told our friend group we started dating the general reactions was \"about time!\" So I guess it was obvious to everyone but us lol.",
">\n\nMe and my first wife were like rhat",
">\n\nThen what happened?",
">\n\nThen you get told \"I wish I met someone like you.\"",
">\n\nThey make for the most difficult breakups,",
">\n\nSometimes. A better phrase would be that the strongest romantic relationships are also the strongest friendships.\nAlso The honeymoon phase is all relationships. Friendships and lovers. It tends to stop in all relationship when kids get involved 😬",
">\n\nEh, I agree with OP and think it's unpopular because the number of people who meet this way is plummeting, so the acknowledgement makes those people feel insecure.\nOf course you can start a relationship romantically and have it remain successful indefinitely as long as you also build friendship along the way. But there are two key areas this method can never truly replicate:\n\n\nHaving your respect for someone develop 100% independently of your attraction to them. I know a fair number of couples that can't seem to untangle respect and attraction. So when their partner falls in attractiveness it also lowers their overall respect for them. Sometimes that tracks... But sometimes it doesn't (for example, after kids when both people are too tired muster much attraction). Eventually, it leads to problems.\n\n\nAccountability. When you meet through and share a community, there are repercussions for acting a fool. When your only connection to each other is your relationship, there is less incentive to remain civil because you won't be judged/punished by 3rd parties if you don't.\n\n\nIf you look at the complaints that GenZ and younger Millennials have about dating, a lot them can be summed up as \"I'm being treated like a commodity, not like a person.\" Having mutual social ties prevents a lot of that.\nI 100% agree with you about the Honeymoon phase though. After 3 years of being close friends, I started dating my now fiance. Strongest Honeymoon phase I've ever experienced, and also the longest - it's yet to end two years in (and we won't be having kids, so maybe it never will).",
">\n\nIf you meet somebody you’re attracted to, there is no reason you can’t build your romantic relationship along with your friendship. This is typically what i did in all of my relationships. If we couldn’t connect on a more in depth way than attraction, the relationship didn’t last long enough to even call it a relationship. \nA romantic relationship isn’t different than any other except romantic ones tend to involve people feeling more intimate with each other. But it’s the same as if you meet somebody you could never be attracted to. You get to know them. It’s all just regular relationship stuff. If you get into a relationship and don’t bond with that person, friendship or romantic or even family, it doesn’t matter. It’s going to be a fail",
">\n\nI met my wife in a bar. I was drunk as shit and my pickup line was \"You're cute, wanna make out?\"\nShe said \"hell no\", but I talked to her again the next day when I was sober and we hit it off instantly. \nI think the best relationships just don't involve the games, or one person chasing until the other finally settles and gives in.",
">\n\nThis is at least plausible. I agree that the strongest romantic relationships contain an element of robust friendship, but I'm not sure that you need to START like this first. It's possible to develop romance and friendship concurrently.",
">\n\n\nIt's possible to develop romance and friendship concurrently.\n\nI really think this is what happened between my wife and I. We met online gaming in 2000. That doesn't sound revolutinary by today's standards but then it was. We talked more and more and it just kind of developed that we were friends, then it moved to RL and not just games. We became best friends and lovers all at the same time. Been together ever since.",
">\n\n\nWe met online gaming in 2000. Been together ever since.\n\nDon't give redditors too much hope..\njk congrats!",
">\n\nLOL. It was a text based online trivia game. No photos no voice. Just text. You really get to know someone that way. No distractions.",
">\n\nAgreeable. I wouldnt say \"The strongest romantic relationships\" HAVE to start that way, but the ones that do tend to be strong romantic relationships.",
">\n\nI think you’re projecting. My 25 years-and-counting relationship with my wife started out on a foundation of raw, animalistic lust.",
">\n\nBut on the other hand there are plenty of people that are best friends, try to date and realize they have no romantic thing, and afterwards it's getting weird etc. \nYou need a romantic and friendship-base, if you want to stay happy togehter. But what comes first is basically irrelevant.",
">\n\nThat’s great since every time I’ve caught feelings for a friend I also lost them as a friend",
">\n\nThe trick is to not stare at them intently for too long at a time",
">\n\nPeople struggle with dating because of these types of opinions. There is no one way to develop a good relationship, there are many. And one way that works for some people can be the exact reason it fails for others. It depends on everyone involved.",
">\n\nTotally agree, I was friends with my wife for 2 years before we began dating. We will be having our 15th wedding anniversary in a couple weeks.",
">\n\nCongratulations! Yay for best friends!!",
">\n\nI sorta disagree, from personal experience.\nWhen I dated someone who I'd been friends with for years, it didn't turn out well. Yeah sure, I knew the bad and good things about them. But that's a double edged sword, because they figured that I would 'be okay with' the same things now that we were in a relationship. There was nothing new for me to learn about him and no bonding experiences that could help us know each other deeper/better, because we already knew each other incredibly well. He wouldn't shut up about his ex before or during our relationship. I gave him an ultimatum and he only continued. I broke up with him and then became an ex he won't shut up about. \nHowever, when I met my current long distance partner, we only knew each other a month before getting together, as there was relatively quick mutual attraction. Our relationship is now 5 years strong and learning new things about them is/has been a bonding experience that I didn't have with the aforementioned ex of mine.\nSo, I think this isn't true in all cases.",
">\n\nI think you don't mean the strongest but safest. All of the things you mentioned are found in long term partners of dating apps and such as well, but of course they also might not be.\nWhat you're describing is every long term relationship. The trust building, the friendship. And yes you don't always find that on dating apps vs being friends first. But dating apps offer you a large pool to chose from which is generally much larger than your friend group.\nBut you also have to remember the downsides of dating a friend too. If it doesn't work out what happens to your friendship or friend group? Were you just friends to get close enough to date because that's kinda shitty. Not to mention it's hard to know if they're actually like you or don't want to lose a friend so go along with it.",
">\n\nNot for me, I've been with A LOT of people, I've dated a few as well. My current gf and future wife met when she came into my shop to get piercings done with her friends, she called the shop afterwards and we had sex the next day. We have been dating ever since ( 3 years ) and she Is the first woman I trust completely and feel comfortable and know I want to spend my entire life with her, my last relationship was 9 years, we were friends before that, the one before that was 6 years, also friends before. So, no, there really is no rules for making the \"perfect relationship\". My \"one night stand\" turned into the woman im going to spend my life with. Seems others have pointed this out as well. This is projection",
">\n\nMy friend found his first girlfriend on Tindr and she was an abusive narcassist (he left her thank god)\nI was a platonic friend with my bf for 3 years before dating him, and we love each other so fucking much",
">\n\nGood for you!\nNonetheless, all scenarios exist around the same percentage:\n- starting as friends becoming good romantic\n- starting as friends and not being good romantic partners\n- starting as a date/lust and becoming good romantically\n- starting as a date/lust and it does not work out",
">\n\nNot the same percentage, OP is right that you'll find a fulfilling relationship more often in person and starting off as friends.",
">\n\nNot that I don’t believe you, but do you have a source?\nThe best relationships I know are from people in the middle: dating, never knew (or interacted with) each other but taking it slow. People who jump too quickly end up fighting, and the people who were friends for so long do manage, but at the end it seems they do divorce because the spark is gone\nAgain, got no proof for that. Just what it seems",
">\n\nYou're asking me for sauce and yet you have failed to provide sauce yourself for your claim that all relationship types are equally occuring. You can only make a subjetive opinion on the matter and our views will be completely different because experiences are uniaue to the individual.\nPeople who enter marriages quickly end up leaving soon because they failed to know each other better. But instead of dating, they could've literally been friends for a long time and that qualifies for 'getting to know each other' and so jumping into marriage might end up being long term. I guess its dofferent for everyone, but I always wanted to meet my partner in real life either at study or work because I know we would be similar on those grounds. I did and I'm happy, and I'm happy because I got to know him more in the safe friendzone. It was a slow process but it was worth it.",
">\n\nI somewhat agree, but not everyone is lucky enough to have or can stay in social circles where you find your s/o.",
">\n\nI think it kinda boils down to the question, what was first, egg or chicken. You won't have full romantic relationship without sex and the same goes for lust based ones only.\nThis is bit of a myth that you can grow yourself a partner, especially after teenage phase, so you either hit or not into someone compatible making it a luck game, requiring lot of volume to get some points. You can start with passionate sex and just score the best partner in the world or you can start with friendship and never make it till some phase.",
">\n\nIs their proof because my evidence says every time u do that she cheats and you lose a good friend",
">\n\nI actually don't think this is as unpopular as you might think. I think at least some people looking for a steamy romance are not necessarily thinking about a life partner, which is totally ok. In the context of looking for a life partner, this seems pretty common.\nThat said, there are some cases where I'd strongly disagree. Dating allows you to filter people out who have definite life incompatibilities with you. Falling for your friends is great if your friend is compatible with you, but sometimes they're not. I've fallen in love with two close friends, neither who I ever would have gone on a date with (both of them fell for me back). In the end, the friendships turned toxic and fell apart because we wanted things from each other that we actually weren't willing to give, given what we wanted from life. I've honestly had much better luck falling in lust with someone, hanging out with them to see if we're baseline compatible, if not long term, and going from there. This isn't like a one-size-fits-all, but there are definite reasons to date strangers.",
">\n\nI’m in a 5 year relationship with someone who I was friends with. I knew him for like ten years now. I do disagree tho, we definitely had a honeymoon phase",
">\n\nNo. This type of shit is what leads mfs that you just want to be friends with to have some false ass hope for the future. I hate this and if someone just wants to be friends they just want to be friends. I'm not saying it never happens but 9/10 if you don't see them that way..... you never will",
">\n\nI started dating my now wife after we were friends for four years. Sparks are overrated.",
">\n\nI wasn't looking for a relationship. Eventually it just happened.",
">\n\nI fell for my husband after being friends for seven months. I had no initial attraction to him, we were just in the same field in doctoral school and interacted a lot. I was actually in another relationship when I first met him. It wasn’t until we worked closely together and got to know each other on a deeper level months later that a spark started to form. After all those months, I suddenly felt such a deep attraction to him I couldn’t ignore it. \nAll of my previous relationships were like that too. I have never felt instant attraction to any person. It always had to grow with time.",
">\n\nThat's how it worked out for me.",
">\n\nI already knew all of those things about my wife because I was working a crap job for low pay when we met. The entire reason I went back to school was for her. It still took four more years to finish my degree and I didn’t have very much money or time between work and school. She stuck with me through those hard times. I didn’t have to just be her friend but she definitely let it be known that she wouldn’t marry me until I finished college. :)",
">\n\nVery true in my case. I didn’t notice him for years. Then we were just friends. Then best friends. Then best friends that say “I love you” to each-other. But finally i resized my true feelings. Ive been with him 2 long years. I wish I loved him sooner because he’s amazing.",
">\n\nThey make for the most difficult breakups, too.",
">\n\nMaybe, but I dont ruin friendships cuz they are valuable so no.",
">\n\nThis is so true. Friends first! I met my fiance on Facebook through our college class group. I dm'd her first and we spoke for three months as really good friends before meeting in person in the fall. That first week we clicked and knew our intentions. We never expected to date. Fast forward 10 years later ( including 3 years of long distance), we have been living together for two years and get married in Oct. Til this day we love each other very much, and is because we see each other as best friends before partners.",
">\n\nBurying the lede, it’s just better than apps, which are fake as fuck and inflate your self worth.",
">\n\nTrue imo the best relationships are the ones where both partners fully trust and know each other's",
">\n\nI agree, but also because I cannot develop feelings or a spark for someone without knowing them for a long time first. I have never just met a person and instantly had feelings for them.",
">\n\nCompletely the opposite in my opinion. Getting to know someone and having instant sparks and slowly falling in love as you get to know more about them is the best feeling in the world. Often times friends first also break up its just a lot more traumatic and you run a lot more risks about breaking up your friend group and stuff like that.",
">\n\nI disagree. The worst relationship i had was with my best friend. She and i were so fucking toxic to each other, that when we broke up and still had to see each other (Same group of friends), we had to wait 5 years until we were ready to be friends again. \nTo all my fellow guys, don't date your female best friend, you'll end up losing a good friend",
">\n\nI think for some people it’s hard to break out of the mindset once you become friends that this person is meant for friendship. After categorizing some people as friends and others as potential love interests, it’s hard to break that boundary in your head.",
">\n\nIf the relationship ended as not platonic then it was never platonic",
">\n\nThe two best relationships I had were with people who we lived together first, became friends, and then lovers, and then partners. They were really sweet relationships and I hold them close to my heart. \nBecause of this, my rule of thumb is friends first, lovers second and it’s never failed me.",
">\n\nMy rule of thumb is the same, too. All for reasons outlined in this post.",
">\n\nYou are in the friend zone aren't you",
">\n\nStrong disagree. Platonic friendships lead to chemistry-less marriages. Was definitely not friends with my husband before we got married, fancied him too much and still do",
">\n\nThat big crazy love feeling is what attaches us to a person. It’s like a drug and our brain will remember what gave us that feeling while our hearts will tell the brain to keep pursing that person who gave us that good feeling, logical or not. When bad things keep happening in a relationship that good feeling gets over weighed by the bad and that this person is now seen as someone who causes bad feelings instead.. or danger in our brain. Some relationships work out some don’t, you have to remember we hear more about those that don’t then do.\nPeople who are strongly attracted to each other can’t be just friends, nature won’t allow it. They either stop being friends, set boundaries, or give in. I feel like those who started platonic friends means one usually likes the other more then the other does and is looking for security and safety more then chemistry and happiness.",
">\n\nNah, for some of us to get that “in love” feeling we have to know someone for a long time. I never just meet someone and feel anything for them. It took me seven months of friendship to fall for my now husband, but when I finally did, it was every bit as powerful and very much that “drug addicted spark” feeling that you are describing. So I think we are all just different with this.",
">\n\nTook y’all 7 months to give in is all I’m hearing. You felt connection towards each other.",
">\n\nNope, I legitimately was not interested in him in the beginning. I didn’t even find him physically appealing at first. Something changed once I started to interact more with him and got to know his mind over months.\nAnd every other relationship I’ve had has been the same. I have never once felt instant connection to a person. It always takes a long time for it to set in. I need that mental connection and build up.",
">\n\nThat’s still the same thing to me. you got to know him even as friends you developed feelings for him.",
">\n\nYes, but the point is that it happened after months of friendship first, not at the forefront. Which is why many people prefer to start platonically and let things develop.",
">\n\nI’m not sure this is an unpopular opinion….",
">\n\nIt neither popular nor unpopular. Some friendships work out romantically. Other people meet and they have been married 20+ years. No one is better",
">\n\nNah, all happy long-term couples I know started as a romantic relationship. I don't even know how you could have a long platonic friendship and then suddenly feel romantic love and sexual attraction if that wasn't there from the start. If there was romantic connection all along, then you were never friends, you were just taking it slow.",
">\n\nis it weird that I don't believe that relationship between partners can ever be 100% platonic? it is not to disagree with your point, but the initial interest into the engagement must be as least sexual or romantic at some point. It is not to say that it is all that simple, but being a man and having 24/7 urges makes me question dudes who are just friends with female/they them counterpart.",
">\n\nYour urges are entirely your own",
">\n\nyes but my point is that in the heart any interaction that extends to the friendship department among opposite genders are usually have at least of a pretext of a romantic/sexual interest.\nthe interplay of those tensions create the pretext for extending the relationship.\nit is not to say that while getting to know someone you might loose/ or lessen that desire and it can be replaced by the deep bond, but once that bond officially ends in sexual/romantic territory, you cannot agrue in good faith that you were \"just\" friends.",
">\n\nCommon sense, not an unpopular opinion. Love at first sight is not that common, and often doesn't lead to anything anyway. You have to get to know a person before a romance can really start.",
">\n\nWe started as a one night stand, and met every day after, been together for 11 now, so I have to disagree lol.",
">\n\n11 days? I'm impressed \n/s ik what you meant",
">\n\nAha, nice one. Yeah I should have wrote years",
">\n\nI guess.\nPeople are vain and horny.\npeople overestimate their own worth.\nFriendship between men and women are not meant to be.\nDifferent values, expectations, eventually someone gets taken for granted \nHow fucking starved for affection people are.\nIn a ideal world people have healthy relation and friends slowly turning lovers.\nYet we need that dopamine tho.",
">\n\nYe",
">\n\nI don’t know… lots of women seem to get upset, if they are asked out by their friends",
">\n\nBut if that relationship ends poorly you end up losing a great friend.",
">\n\nMy partner and I weren't friends before but we are definitely best friends now after nearly 20 years together",
">\n\nMe and my wife started as friends, we have been together nearly 20 years. And yes, there is a honeymoon phase.",
">\n\nEnemies to lovers is the way to go :D",
">\n\nYeah, the challenge is getting into a friendship with someone of the opposite sex",
">\n\nI dont like the way my friend smells. A relationship therapist says that’s Red flag. Not that they are bad there just won’t be any chemistry.",
">\n\nFor me it doesn’t work like that.\nOnce I put someone in the category of friend they never move from it. Most of the people have dated long term we had romantic chemistry immediately and slept together on the 1st or 2nd date. If it takes much longer than that then we probably don’t genuinely find each other attractive. I would say my limit would probably be 5 dates.",
">\n\nThat's why people not looking for a relationship don't want to hang out as platonic friends.\nEspecially when a guy is saying \"It's platonic, I just want to hang out as friends\"\nGirls know the guy will eventually say they are dating.",
">\n\nI think this is very different for everybody. I've never gone from friends to romantic relationship, and I don't think I could ever do it. I really don't see how you can suddenly be attracted to someone.",
">\n\nHubby and I were friends before dating and marrying. Married now 16 years and been through hell and back together. Still standing strong and in the words of my 11 year old “a thriving marriage”",
">\n\nI was good friends with my boyfriend before we started dating (met him at work) and after a couple of years and us both changing jobs it just clicked. I think for some people this can really work out."
] |
>
Are you speaking from personal experience? | [
"I was good friends with my husband for about 8 years before we started dating. I think we both just needed to grow up a bit. But when we told our friend group we started dating the general reactions was \"about time!\" So I guess it was obvious to everyone but us lol.",
">\n\nMe and my first wife were like rhat",
">\n\nThen what happened?",
">\n\nThen you get told \"I wish I met someone like you.\"",
">\n\nThey make for the most difficult breakups,",
">\n\nSometimes. A better phrase would be that the strongest romantic relationships are also the strongest friendships.\nAlso The honeymoon phase is all relationships. Friendships and lovers. It tends to stop in all relationship when kids get involved 😬",
">\n\nEh, I agree with OP and think it's unpopular because the number of people who meet this way is plummeting, so the acknowledgement makes those people feel insecure.\nOf course you can start a relationship romantically and have it remain successful indefinitely as long as you also build friendship along the way. But there are two key areas this method can never truly replicate:\n\n\nHaving your respect for someone develop 100% independently of your attraction to them. I know a fair number of couples that can't seem to untangle respect and attraction. So when their partner falls in attractiveness it also lowers their overall respect for them. Sometimes that tracks... But sometimes it doesn't (for example, after kids when both people are too tired muster much attraction). Eventually, it leads to problems.\n\n\nAccountability. When you meet through and share a community, there are repercussions for acting a fool. When your only connection to each other is your relationship, there is less incentive to remain civil because you won't be judged/punished by 3rd parties if you don't.\n\n\nIf you look at the complaints that GenZ and younger Millennials have about dating, a lot them can be summed up as \"I'm being treated like a commodity, not like a person.\" Having mutual social ties prevents a lot of that.\nI 100% agree with you about the Honeymoon phase though. After 3 years of being close friends, I started dating my now fiance. Strongest Honeymoon phase I've ever experienced, and also the longest - it's yet to end two years in (and we won't be having kids, so maybe it never will).",
">\n\nIf you meet somebody you’re attracted to, there is no reason you can’t build your romantic relationship along with your friendship. This is typically what i did in all of my relationships. If we couldn’t connect on a more in depth way than attraction, the relationship didn’t last long enough to even call it a relationship. \nA romantic relationship isn’t different than any other except romantic ones tend to involve people feeling more intimate with each other. But it’s the same as if you meet somebody you could never be attracted to. You get to know them. It’s all just regular relationship stuff. If you get into a relationship and don’t bond with that person, friendship or romantic or even family, it doesn’t matter. It’s going to be a fail",
">\n\nI met my wife in a bar. I was drunk as shit and my pickup line was \"You're cute, wanna make out?\"\nShe said \"hell no\", but I talked to her again the next day when I was sober and we hit it off instantly. \nI think the best relationships just don't involve the games, or one person chasing until the other finally settles and gives in.",
">\n\nThis is at least plausible. I agree that the strongest romantic relationships contain an element of robust friendship, but I'm not sure that you need to START like this first. It's possible to develop romance and friendship concurrently.",
">\n\n\nIt's possible to develop romance and friendship concurrently.\n\nI really think this is what happened between my wife and I. We met online gaming in 2000. That doesn't sound revolutinary by today's standards but then it was. We talked more and more and it just kind of developed that we were friends, then it moved to RL and not just games. We became best friends and lovers all at the same time. Been together ever since.",
">\n\n\nWe met online gaming in 2000. Been together ever since.\n\nDon't give redditors too much hope..\njk congrats!",
">\n\nLOL. It was a text based online trivia game. No photos no voice. Just text. You really get to know someone that way. No distractions.",
">\n\nAgreeable. I wouldnt say \"The strongest romantic relationships\" HAVE to start that way, but the ones that do tend to be strong romantic relationships.",
">\n\nI think you’re projecting. My 25 years-and-counting relationship with my wife started out on a foundation of raw, animalistic lust.",
">\n\nBut on the other hand there are plenty of people that are best friends, try to date and realize they have no romantic thing, and afterwards it's getting weird etc. \nYou need a romantic and friendship-base, if you want to stay happy togehter. But what comes first is basically irrelevant.",
">\n\nThat’s great since every time I’ve caught feelings for a friend I also lost them as a friend",
">\n\nThe trick is to not stare at them intently for too long at a time",
">\n\nPeople struggle with dating because of these types of opinions. There is no one way to develop a good relationship, there are many. And one way that works for some people can be the exact reason it fails for others. It depends on everyone involved.",
">\n\nTotally agree, I was friends with my wife for 2 years before we began dating. We will be having our 15th wedding anniversary in a couple weeks.",
">\n\nCongratulations! Yay for best friends!!",
">\n\nI sorta disagree, from personal experience.\nWhen I dated someone who I'd been friends with for years, it didn't turn out well. Yeah sure, I knew the bad and good things about them. But that's a double edged sword, because they figured that I would 'be okay with' the same things now that we were in a relationship. There was nothing new for me to learn about him and no bonding experiences that could help us know each other deeper/better, because we already knew each other incredibly well. He wouldn't shut up about his ex before or during our relationship. I gave him an ultimatum and he only continued. I broke up with him and then became an ex he won't shut up about. \nHowever, when I met my current long distance partner, we only knew each other a month before getting together, as there was relatively quick mutual attraction. Our relationship is now 5 years strong and learning new things about them is/has been a bonding experience that I didn't have with the aforementioned ex of mine.\nSo, I think this isn't true in all cases.",
">\n\nI think you don't mean the strongest but safest. All of the things you mentioned are found in long term partners of dating apps and such as well, but of course they also might not be.\nWhat you're describing is every long term relationship. The trust building, the friendship. And yes you don't always find that on dating apps vs being friends first. But dating apps offer you a large pool to chose from which is generally much larger than your friend group.\nBut you also have to remember the downsides of dating a friend too. If it doesn't work out what happens to your friendship or friend group? Were you just friends to get close enough to date because that's kinda shitty. Not to mention it's hard to know if they're actually like you or don't want to lose a friend so go along with it.",
">\n\nNot for me, I've been with A LOT of people, I've dated a few as well. My current gf and future wife met when she came into my shop to get piercings done with her friends, she called the shop afterwards and we had sex the next day. We have been dating ever since ( 3 years ) and she Is the first woman I trust completely and feel comfortable and know I want to spend my entire life with her, my last relationship was 9 years, we were friends before that, the one before that was 6 years, also friends before. So, no, there really is no rules for making the \"perfect relationship\". My \"one night stand\" turned into the woman im going to spend my life with. Seems others have pointed this out as well. This is projection",
">\n\nMy friend found his first girlfriend on Tindr and she was an abusive narcassist (he left her thank god)\nI was a platonic friend with my bf for 3 years before dating him, and we love each other so fucking much",
">\n\nGood for you!\nNonetheless, all scenarios exist around the same percentage:\n- starting as friends becoming good romantic\n- starting as friends and not being good romantic partners\n- starting as a date/lust and becoming good romantically\n- starting as a date/lust and it does not work out",
">\n\nNot the same percentage, OP is right that you'll find a fulfilling relationship more often in person and starting off as friends.",
">\n\nNot that I don’t believe you, but do you have a source?\nThe best relationships I know are from people in the middle: dating, never knew (or interacted with) each other but taking it slow. People who jump too quickly end up fighting, and the people who were friends for so long do manage, but at the end it seems they do divorce because the spark is gone\nAgain, got no proof for that. Just what it seems",
">\n\nYou're asking me for sauce and yet you have failed to provide sauce yourself for your claim that all relationship types are equally occuring. You can only make a subjetive opinion on the matter and our views will be completely different because experiences are uniaue to the individual.\nPeople who enter marriages quickly end up leaving soon because they failed to know each other better. But instead of dating, they could've literally been friends for a long time and that qualifies for 'getting to know each other' and so jumping into marriage might end up being long term. I guess its dofferent for everyone, but I always wanted to meet my partner in real life either at study or work because I know we would be similar on those grounds. I did and I'm happy, and I'm happy because I got to know him more in the safe friendzone. It was a slow process but it was worth it.",
">\n\nI somewhat agree, but not everyone is lucky enough to have or can stay in social circles where you find your s/o.",
">\n\nI think it kinda boils down to the question, what was first, egg or chicken. You won't have full romantic relationship without sex and the same goes for lust based ones only.\nThis is bit of a myth that you can grow yourself a partner, especially after teenage phase, so you either hit or not into someone compatible making it a luck game, requiring lot of volume to get some points. You can start with passionate sex and just score the best partner in the world or you can start with friendship and never make it till some phase.",
">\n\nIs their proof because my evidence says every time u do that she cheats and you lose a good friend",
">\n\nI actually don't think this is as unpopular as you might think. I think at least some people looking for a steamy romance are not necessarily thinking about a life partner, which is totally ok. In the context of looking for a life partner, this seems pretty common.\nThat said, there are some cases where I'd strongly disagree. Dating allows you to filter people out who have definite life incompatibilities with you. Falling for your friends is great if your friend is compatible with you, but sometimes they're not. I've fallen in love with two close friends, neither who I ever would have gone on a date with (both of them fell for me back). In the end, the friendships turned toxic and fell apart because we wanted things from each other that we actually weren't willing to give, given what we wanted from life. I've honestly had much better luck falling in lust with someone, hanging out with them to see if we're baseline compatible, if not long term, and going from there. This isn't like a one-size-fits-all, but there are definite reasons to date strangers.",
">\n\nI’m in a 5 year relationship with someone who I was friends with. I knew him for like ten years now. I do disagree tho, we definitely had a honeymoon phase",
">\n\nNo. This type of shit is what leads mfs that you just want to be friends with to have some false ass hope for the future. I hate this and if someone just wants to be friends they just want to be friends. I'm not saying it never happens but 9/10 if you don't see them that way..... you never will",
">\n\nI started dating my now wife after we were friends for four years. Sparks are overrated.",
">\n\nI wasn't looking for a relationship. Eventually it just happened.",
">\n\nI fell for my husband after being friends for seven months. I had no initial attraction to him, we were just in the same field in doctoral school and interacted a lot. I was actually in another relationship when I first met him. It wasn’t until we worked closely together and got to know each other on a deeper level months later that a spark started to form. After all those months, I suddenly felt such a deep attraction to him I couldn’t ignore it. \nAll of my previous relationships were like that too. I have never felt instant attraction to any person. It always had to grow with time.",
">\n\nThat's how it worked out for me.",
">\n\nI already knew all of those things about my wife because I was working a crap job for low pay when we met. The entire reason I went back to school was for her. It still took four more years to finish my degree and I didn’t have very much money or time between work and school. She stuck with me through those hard times. I didn’t have to just be her friend but she definitely let it be known that she wouldn’t marry me until I finished college. :)",
">\n\nVery true in my case. I didn’t notice him for years. Then we were just friends. Then best friends. Then best friends that say “I love you” to each-other. But finally i resized my true feelings. Ive been with him 2 long years. I wish I loved him sooner because he’s amazing.",
">\n\nThey make for the most difficult breakups, too.",
">\n\nMaybe, but I dont ruin friendships cuz they are valuable so no.",
">\n\nThis is so true. Friends first! I met my fiance on Facebook through our college class group. I dm'd her first and we spoke for three months as really good friends before meeting in person in the fall. That first week we clicked and knew our intentions. We never expected to date. Fast forward 10 years later ( including 3 years of long distance), we have been living together for two years and get married in Oct. Til this day we love each other very much, and is because we see each other as best friends before partners.",
">\n\nBurying the lede, it’s just better than apps, which are fake as fuck and inflate your self worth.",
">\n\nTrue imo the best relationships are the ones where both partners fully trust and know each other's",
">\n\nI agree, but also because I cannot develop feelings or a spark for someone without knowing them for a long time first. I have never just met a person and instantly had feelings for them.",
">\n\nCompletely the opposite in my opinion. Getting to know someone and having instant sparks and slowly falling in love as you get to know more about them is the best feeling in the world. Often times friends first also break up its just a lot more traumatic and you run a lot more risks about breaking up your friend group and stuff like that.",
">\n\nI disagree. The worst relationship i had was with my best friend. She and i were so fucking toxic to each other, that when we broke up and still had to see each other (Same group of friends), we had to wait 5 years until we were ready to be friends again. \nTo all my fellow guys, don't date your female best friend, you'll end up losing a good friend",
">\n\nI think for some people it’s hard to break out of the mindset once you become friends that this person is meant for friendship. After categorizing some people as friends and others as potential love interests, it’s hard to break that boundary in your head.",
">\n\nIf the relationship ended as not platonic then it was never platonic",
">\n\nThe two best relationships I had were with people who we lived together first, became friends, and then lovers, and then partners. They were really sweet relationships and I hold them close to my heart. \nBecause of this, my rule of thumb is friends first, lovers second and it’s never failed me.",
">\n\nMy rule of thumb is the same, too. All for reasons outlined in this post.",
">\n\nYou are in the friend zone aren't you",
">\n\nStrong disagree. Platonic friendships lead to chemistry-less marriages. Was definitely not friends with my husband before we got married, fancied him too much and still do",
">\n\nThat big crazy love feeling is what attaches us to a person. It’s like a drug and our brain will remember what gave us that feeling while our hearts will tell the brain to keep pursing that person who gave us that good feeling, logical or not. When bad things keep happening in a relationship that good feeling gets over weighed by the bad and that this person is now seen as someone who causes bad feelings instead.. or danger in our brain. Some relationships work out some don’t, you have to remember we hear more about those that don’t then do.\nPeople who are strongly attracted to each other can’t be just friends, nature won’t allow it. They either stop being friends, set boundaries, or give in. I feel like those who started platonic friends means one usually likes the other more then the other does and is looking for security and safety more then chemistry and happiness.",
">\n\nNah, for some of us to get that “in love” feeling we have to know someone for a long time. I never just meet someone and feel anything for them. It took me seven months of friendship to fall for my now husband, but when I finally did, it was every bit as powerful and very much that “drug addicted spark” feeling that you are describing. So I think we are all just different with this.",
">\n\nTook y’all 7 months to give in is all I’m hearing. You felt connection towards each other.",
">\n\nNope, I legitimately was not interested in him in the beginning. I didn’t even find him physically appealing at first. Something changed once I started to interact more with him and got to know his mind over months.\nAnd every other relationship I’ve had has been the same. I have never once felt instant connection to a person. It always takes a long time for it to set in. I need that mental connection and build up.",
">\n\nThat’s still the same thing to me. you got to know him even as friends you developed feelings for him.",
">\n\nYes, but the point is that it happened after months of friendship first, not at the forefront. Which is why many people prefer to start platonically and let things develop.",
">\n\nI’m not sure this is an unpopular opinion….",
">\n\nIt neither popular nor unpopular. Some friendships work out romantically. Other people meet and they have been married 20+ years. No one is better",
">\n\nNah, all happy long-term couples I know started as a romantic relationship. I don't even know how you could have a long platonic friendship and then suddenly feel romantic love and sexual attraction if that wasn't there from the start. If there was romantic connection all along, then you were never friends, you were just taking it slow.",
">\n\nis it weird that I don't believe that relationship between partners can ever be 100% platonic? it is not to disagree with your point, but the initial interest into the engagement must be as least sexual or romantic at some point. It is not to say that it is all that simple, but being a man and having 24/7 urges makes me question dudes who are just friends with female/they them counterpart.",
">\n\nYour urges are entirely your own",
">\n\nyes but my point is that in the heart any interaction that extends to the friendship department among opposite genders are usually have at least of a pretext of a romantic/sexual interest.\nthe interplay of those tensions create the pretext for extending the relationship.\nit is not to say that while getting to know someone you might loose/ or lessen that desire and it can be replaced by the deep bond, but once that bond officially ends in sexual/romantic territory, you cannot agrue in good faith that you were \"just\" friends.",
">\n\nCommon sense, not an unpopular opinion. Love at first sight is not that common, and often doesn't lead to anything anyway. You have to get to know a person before a romance can really start.",
">\n\nWe started as a one night stand, and met every day after, been together for 11 now, so I have to disagree lol.",
">\n\n11 days? I'm impressed \n/s ik what you meant",
">\n\nAha, nice one. Yeah I should have wrote years",
">\n\nI guess.\nPeople are vain and horny.\npeople overestimate their own worth.\nFriendship between men and women are not meant to be.\nDifferent values, expectations, eventually someone gets taken for granted \nHow fucking starved for affection people are.\nIn a ideal world people have healthy relation and friends slowly turning lovers.\nYet we need that dopamine tho.",
">\n\nYe",
">\n\nI don’t know… lots of women seem to get upset, if they are asked out by their friends",
">\n\nBut if that relationship ends poorly you end up losing a great friend.",
">\n\nMy partner and I weren't friends before but we are definitely best friends now after nearly 20 years together",
">\n\nMe and my wife started as friends, we have been together nearly 20 years. And yes, there is a honeymoon phase.",
">\n\nEnemies to lovers is the way to go :D",
">\n\nYeah, the challenge is getting into a friendship with someone of the opposite sex",
">\n\nI dont like the way my friend smells. A relationship therapist says that’s Red flag. Not that they are bad there just won’t be any chemistry.",
">\n\nFor me it doesn’t work like that.\nOnce I put someone in the category of friend they never move from it. Most of the people have dated long term we had romantic chemistry immediately and slept together on the 1st or 2nd date. If it takes much longer than that then we probably don’t genuinely find each other attractive. I would say my limit would probably be 5 dates.",
">\n\nThat's why people not looking for a relationship don't want to hang out as platonic friends.\nEspecially when a guy is saying \"It's platonic, I just want to hang out as friends\"\nGirls know the guy will eventually say they are dating.",
">\n\nI think this is very different for everybody. I've never gone from friends to romantic relationship, and I don't think I could ever do it. I really don't see how you can suddenly be attracted to someone.",
">\n\nHubby and I were friends before dating and marrying. Married now 16 years and been through hell and back together. Still standing strong and in the words of my 11 year old “a thriving marriage”",
">\n\nI was good friends with my boyfriend before we started dating (met him at work) and after a couple of years and us both changing jobs it just clicked. I think for some people this can really work out.",
">\n\nIt's a double edge sword I advice people from not doing friendship into relationship. Coz if break up happens you loose tow people. Your GF and your bestfriend, which is the worst and it will be the most lonely and depressing time of your life. \nI talk out of my experience, and I suggest if you can avoid don't mix friendships with romance it can happen if it does good luck to you and I hope it works. But if have the choice not don't."
] |
>
this isnt unpopular at all | [
"I was good friends with my husband for about 8 years before we started dating. I think we both just needed to grow up a bit. But when we told our friend group we started dating the general reactions was \"about time!\" So I guess it was obvious to everyone but us lol.",
">\n\nMe and my first wife were like rhat",
">\n\nThen what happened?",
">\n\nThen you get told \"I wish I met someone like you.\"",
">\n\nThey make for the most difficult breakups,",
">\n\nSometimes. A better phrase would be that the strongest romantic relationships are also the strongest friendships.\nAlso The honeymoon phase is all relationships. Friendships and lovers. It tends to stop in all relationship when kids get involved 😬",
">\n\nEh, I agree with OP and think it's unpopular because the number of people who meet this way is plummeting, so the acknowledgement makes those people feel insecure.\nOf course you can start a relationship romantically and have it remain successful indefinitely as long as you also build friendship along the way. But there are two key areas this method can never truly replicate:\n\n\nHaving your respect for someone develop 100% independently of your attraction to them. I know a fair number of couples that can't seem to untangle respect and attraction. So when their partner falls in attractiveness it also lowers their overall respect for them. Sometimes that tracks... But sometimes it doesn't (for example, after kids when both people are too tired muster much attraction). Eventually, it leads to problems.\n\n\nAccountability. When you meet through and share a community, there are repercussions for acting a fool. When your only connection to each other is your relationship, there is less incentive to remain civil because you won't be judged/punished by 3rd parties if you don't.\n\n\nIf you look at the complaints that GenZ and younger Millennials have about dating, a lot them can be summed up as \"I'm being treated like a commodity, not like a person.\" Having mutual social ties prevents a lot of that.\nI 100% agree with you about the Honeymoon phase though. After 3 years of being close friends, I started dating my now fiance. Strongest Honeymoon phase I've ever experienced, and also the longest - it's yet to end two years in (and we won't be having kids, so maybe it never will).",
">\n\nIf you meet somebody you’re attracted to, there is no reason you can’t build your romantic relationship along with your friendship. This is typically what i did in all of my relationships. If we couldn’t connect on a more in depth way than attraction, the relationship didn’t last long enough to even call it a relationship. \nA romantic relationship isn’t different than any other except romantic ones tend to involve people feeling more intimate with each other. But it’s the same as if you meet somebody you could never be attracted to. You get to know them. It’s all just regular relationship stuff. If you get into a relationship and don’t bond with that person, friendship or romantic or even family, it doesn’t matter. It’s going to be a fail",
">\n\nI met my wife in a bar. I was drunk as shit and my pickup line was \"You're cute, wanna make out?\"\nShe said \"hell no\", but I talked to her again the next day when I was sober and we hit it off instantly. \nI think the best relationships just don't involve the games, or one person chasing until the other finally settles and gives in.",
">\n\nThis is at least plausible. I agree that the strongest romantic relationships contain an element of robust friendship, but I'm not sure that you need to START like this first. It's possible to develop romance and friendship concurrently.",
">\n\n\nIt's possible to develop romance and friendship concurrently.\n\nI really think this is what happened between my wife and I. We met online gaming in 2000. That doesn't sound revolutinary by today's standards but then it was. We talked more and more and it just kind of developed that we were friends, then it moved to RL and not just games. We became best friends and lovers all at the same time. Been together ever since.",
">\n\n\nWe met online gaming in 2000. Been together ever since.\n\nDon't give redditors too much hope..\njk congrats!",
">\n\nLOL. It was a text based online trivia game. No photos no voice. Just text. You really get to know someone that way. No distractions.",
">\n\nAgreeable. I wouldnt say \"The strongest romantic relationships\" HAVE to start that way, but the ones that do tend to be strong romantic relationships.",
">\n\nI think you’re projecting. My 25 years-and-counting relationship with my wife started out on a foundation of raw, animalistic lust.",
">\n\nBut on the other hand there are plenty of people that are best friends, try to date and realize they have no romantic thing, and afterwards it's getting weird etc. \nYou need a romantic and friendship-base, if you want to stay happy togehter. But what comes first is basically irrelevant.",
">\n\nThat’s great since every time I’ve caught feelings for a friend I also lost them as a friend",
">\n\nThe trick is to not stare at them intently for too long at a time",
">\n\nPeople struggle with dating because of these types of opinions. There is no one way to develop a good relationship, there are many. And one way that works for some people can be the exact reason it fails for others. It depends on everyone involved.",
">\n\nTotally agree, I was friends with my wife for 2 years before we began dating. We will be having our 15th wedding anniversary in a couple weeks.",
">\n\nCongratulations! Yay for best friends!!",
">\n\nI sorta disagree, from personal experience.\nWhen I dated someone who I'd been friends with for years, it didn't turn out well. Yeah sure, I knew the bad and good things about them. But that's a double edged sword, because they figured that I would 'be okay with' the same things now that we were in a relationship. There was nothing new for me to learn about him and no bonding experiences that could help us know each other deeper/better, because we already knew each other incredibly well. He wouldn't shut up about his ex before or during our relationship. I gave him an ultimatum and he only continued. I broke up with him and then became an ex he won't shut up about. \nHowever, when I met my current long distance partner, we only knew each other a month before getting together, as there was relatively quick mutual attraction. Our relationship is now 5 years strong and learning new things about them is/has been a bonding experience that I didn't have with the aforementioned ex of mine.\nSo, I think this isn't true in all cases.",
">\n\nI think you don't mean the strongest but safest. All of the things you mentioned are found in long term partners of dating apps and such as well, but of course they also might not be.\nWhat you're describing is every long term relationship. The trust building, the friendship. And yes you don't always find that on dating apps vs being friends first. But dating apps offer you a large pool to chose from which is generally much larger than your friend group.\nBut you also have to remember the downsides of dating a friend too. If it doesn't work out what happens to your friendship or friend group? Were you just friends to get close enough to date because that's kinda shitty. Not to mention it's hard to know if they're actually like you or don't want to lose a friend so go along with it.",
">\n\nNot for me, I've been with A LOT of people, I've dated a few as well. My current gf and future wife met when she came into my shop to get piercings done with her friends, she called the shop afterwards and we had sex the next day. We have been dating ever since ( 3 years ) and she Is the first woman I trust completely and feel comfortable and know I want to spend my entire life with her, my last relationship was 9 years, we were friends before that, the one before that was 6 years, also friends before. So, no, there really is no rules for making the \"perfect relationship\". My \"one night stand\" turned into the woman im going to spend my life with. Seems others have pointed this out as well. This is projection",
">\n\nMy friend found his first girlfriend on Tindr and she was an abusive narcassist (he left her thank god)\nI was a platonic friend with my bf for 3 years before dating him, and we love each other so fucking much",
">\n\nGood for you!\nNonetheless, all scenarios exist around the same percentage:\n- starting as friends becoming good romantic\n- starting as friends and not being good romantic partners\n- starting as a date/lust and becoming good romantically\n- starting as a date/lust and it does not work out",
">\n\nNot the same percentage, OP is right that you'll find a fulfilling relationship more often in person and starting off as friends.",
">\n\nNot that I don’t believe you, but do you have a source?\nThe best relationships I know are from people in the middle: dating, never knew (or interacted with) each other but taking it slow. People who jump too quickly end up fighting, and the people who were friends for so long do manage, but at the end it seems they do divorce because the spark is gone\nAgain, got no proof for that. Just what it seems",
">\n\nYou're asking me for sauce and yet you have failed to provide sauce yourself for your claim that all relationship types are equally occuring. You can only make a subjetive opinion on the matter and our views will be completely different because experiences are uniaue to the individual.\nPeople who enter marriages quickly end up leaving soon because they failed to know each other better. But instead of dating, they could've literally been friends for a long time and that qualifies for 'getting to know each other' and so jumping into marriage might end up being long term. I guess its dofferent for everyone, but I always wanted to meet my partner in real life either at study or work because I know we would be similar on those grounds. I did and I'm happy, and I'm happy because I got to know him more in the safe friendzone. It was a slow process but it was worth it.",
">\n\nI somewhat agree, but not everyone is lucky enough to have or can stay in social circles where you find your s/o.",
">\n\nI think it kinda boils down to the question, what was first, egg or chicken. You won't have full romantic relationship without sex and the same goes for lust based ones only.\nThis is bit of a myth that you can grow yourself a partner, especially after teenage phase, so you either hit or not into someone compatible making it a luck game, requiring lot of volume to get some points. You can start with passionate sex and just score the best partner in the world or you can start with friendship and never make it till some phase.",
">\n\nIs their proof because my evidence says every time u do that she cheats and you lose a good friend",
">\n\nI actually don't think this is as unpopular as you might think. I think at least some people looking for a steamy romance are not necessarily thinking about a life partner, which is totally ok. In the context of looking for a life partner, this seems pretty common.\nThat said, there are some cases where I'd strongly disagree. Dating allows you to filter people out who have definite life incompatibilities with you. Falling for your friends is great if your friend is compatible with you, but sometimes they're not. I've fallen in love with two close friends, neither who I ever would have gone on a date with (both of them fell for me back). In the end, the friendships turned toxic and fell apart because we wanted things from each other that we actually weren't willing to give, given what we wanted from life. I've honestly had much better luck falling in lust with someone, hanging out with them to see if we're baseline compatible, if not long term, and going from there. This isn't like a one-size-fits-all, but there are definite reasons to date strangers.",
">\n\nI’m in a 5 year relationship with someone who I was friends with. I knew him for like ten years now. I do disagree tho, we definitely had a honeymoon phase",
">\n\nNo. This type of shit is what leads mfs that you just want to be friends with to have some false ass hope for the future. I hate this and if someone just wants to be friends they just want to be friends. I'm not saying it never happens but 9/10 if you don't see them that way..... you never will",
">\n\nI started dating my now wife after we were friends for four years. Sparks are overrated.",
">\n\nI wasn't looking for a relationship. Eventually it just happened.",
">\n\nI fell for my husband after being friends for seven months. I had no initial attraction to him, we were just in the same field in doctoral school and interacted a lot. I was actually in another relationship when I first met him. It wasn’t until we worked closely together and got to know each other on a deeper level months later that a spark started to form. After all those months, I suddenly felt such a deep attraction to him I couldn’t ignore it. \nAll of my previous relationships were like that too. I have never felt instant attraction to any person. It always had to grow with time.",
">\n\nThat's how it worked out for me.",
">\n\nI already knew all of those things about my wife because I was working a crap job for low pay when we met. The entire reason I went back to school was for her. It still took four more years to finish my degree and I didn’t have very much money or time between work and school. She stuck with me through those hard times. I didn’t have to just be her friend but she definitely let it be known that she wouldn’t marry me until I finished college. :)",
">\n\nVery true in my case. I didn’t notice him for years. Then we were just friends. Then best friends. Then best friends that say “I love you” to each-other. But finally i resized my true feelings. Ive been with him 2 long years. I wish I loved him sooner because he’s amazing.",
">\n\nThey make for the most difficult breakups, too.",
">\n\nMaybe, but I dont ruin friendships cuz they are valuable so no.",
">\n\nThis is so true. Friends first! I met my fiance on Facebook through our college class group. I dm'd her first and we spoke for three months as really good friends before meeting in person in the fall. That first week we clicked and knew our intentions. We never expected to date. Fast forward 10 years later ( including 3 years of long distance), we have been living together for two years and get married in Oct. Til this day we love each other very much, and is because we see each other as best friends before partners.",
">\n\nBurying the lede, it’s just better than apps, which are fake as fuck and inflate your self worth.",
">\n\nTrue imo the best relationships are the ones where both partners fully trust and know each other's",
">\n\nI agree, but also because I cannot develop feelings or a spark for someone without knowing them for a long time first. I have never just met a person and instantly had feelings for them.",
">\n\nCompletely the opposite in my opinion. Getting to know someone and having instant sparks and slowly falling in love as you get to know more about them is the best feeling in the world. Often times friends first also break up its just a lot more traumatic and you run a lot more risks about breaking up your friend group and stuff like that.",
">\n\nI disagree. The worst relationship i had was with my best friend. She and i were so fucking toxic to each other, that when we broke up and still had to see each other (Same group of friends), we had to wait 5 years until we were ready to be friends again. \nTo all my fellow guys, don't date your female best friend, you'll end up losing a good friend",
">\n\nI think for some people it’s hard to break out of the mindset once you become friends that this person is meant for friendship. After categorizing some people as friends and others as potential love interests, it’s hard to break that boundary in your head.",
">\n\nIf the relationship ended as not platonic then it was never platonic",
">\n\nThe two best relationships I had were with people who we lived together first, became friends, and then lovers, and then partners. They were really sweet relationships and I hold them close to my heart. \nBecause of this, my rule of thumb is friends first, lovers second and it’s never failed me.",
">\n\nMy rule of thumb is the same, too. All for reasons outlined in this post.",
">\n\nYou are in the friend zone aren't you",
">\n\nStrong disagree. Platonic friendships lead to chemistry-less marriages. Was definitely not friends with my husband before we got married, fancied him too much and still do",
">\n\nThat big crazy love feeling is what attaches us to a person. It’s like a drug and our brain will remember what gave us that feeling while our hearts will tell the brain to keep pursing that person who gave us that good feeling, logical or not. When bad things keep happening in a relationship that good feeling gets over weighed by the bad and that this person is now seen as someone who causes bad feelings instead.. or danger in our brain. Some relationships work out some don’t, you have to remember we hear more about those that don’t then do.\nPeople who are strongly attracted to each other can’t be just friends, nature won’t allow it. They either stop being friends, set boundaries, or give in. I feel like those who started platonic friends means one usually likes the other more then the other does and is looking for security and safety more then chemistry and happiness.",
">\n\nNah, for some of us to get that “in love” feeling we have to know someone for a long time. I never just meet someone and feel anything for them. It took me seven months of friendship to fall for my now husband, but when I finally did, it was every bit as powerful and very much that “drug addicted spark” feeling that you are describing. So I think we are all just different with this.",
">\n\nTook y’all 7 months to give in is all I’m hearing. You felt connection towards each other.",
">\n\nNope, I legitimately was not interested in him in the beginning. I didn’t even find him physically appealing at first. Something changed once I started to interact more with him and got to know his mind over months.\nAnd every other relationship I’ve had has been the same. I have never once felt instant connection to a person. It always takes a long time for it to set in. I need that mental connection and build up.",
">\n\nThat’s still the same thing to me. you got to know him even as friends you developed feelings for him.",
">\n\nYes, but the point is that it happened after months of friendship first, not at the forefront. Which is why many people prefer to start platonically and let things develop.",
">\n\nI’m not sure this is an unpopular opinion….",
">\n\nIt neither popular nor unpopular. Some friendships work out romantically. Other people meet and they have been married 20+ years. No one is better",
">\n\nNah, all happy long-term couples I know started as a romantic relationship. I don't even know how you could have a long platonic friendship and then suddenly feel romantic love and sexual attraction if that wasn't there from the start. If there was romantic connection all along, then you were never friends, you were just taking it slow.",
">\n\nis it weird that I don't believe that relationship between partners can ever be 100% platonic? it is not to disagree with your point, but the initial interest into the engagement must be as least sexual or romantic at some point. It is not to say that it is all that simple, but being a man and having 24/7 urges makes me question dudes who are just friends with female/they them counterpart.",
">\n\nYour urges are entirely your own",
">\n\nyes but my point is that in the heart any interaction that extends to the friendship department among opposite genders are usually have at least of a pretext of a romantic/sexual interest.\nthe interplay of those tensions create the pretext for extending the relationship.\nit is not to say that while getting to know someone you might loose/ or lessen that desire and it can be replaced by the deep bond, but once that bond officially ends in sexual/romantic territory, you cannot agrue in good faith that you were \"just\" friends.",
">\n\nCommon sense, not an unpopular opinion. Love at first sight is not that common, and often doesn't lead to anything anyway. You have to get to know a person before a romance can really start.",
">\n\nWe started as a one night stand, and met every day after, been together for 11 now, so I have to disagree lol.",
">\n\n11 days? I'm impressed \n/s ik what you meant",
">\n\nAha, nice one. Yeah I should have wrote years",
">\n\nI guess.\nPeople are vain and horny.\npeople overestimate their own worth.\nFriendship between men and women are not meant to be.\nDifferent values, expectations, eventually someone gets taken for granted \nHow fucking starved for affection people are.\nIn a ideal world people have healthy relation and friends slowly turning lovers.\nYet we need that dopamine tho.",
">\n\nYe",
">\n\nI don’t know… lots of women seem to get upset, if they are asked out by their friends",
">\n\nBut if that relationship ends poorly you end up losing a great friend.",
">\n\nMy partner and I weren't friends before but we are definitely best friends now after nearly 20 years together",
">\n\nMe and my wife started as friends, we have been together nearly 20 years. And yes, there is a honeymoon phase.",
">\n\nEnemies to lovers is the way to go :D",
">\n\nYeah, the challenge is getting into a friendship with someone of the opposite sex",
">\n\nI dont like the way my friend smells. A relationship therapist says that’s Red flag. Not that they are bad there just won’t be any chemistry.",
">\n\nFor me it doesn’t work like that.\nOnce I put someone in the category of friend they never move from it. Most of the people have dated long term we had romantic chemistry immediately and slept together on the 1st or 2nd date. If it takes much longer than that then we probably don’t genuinely find each other attractive. I would say my limit would probably be 5 dates.",
">\n\nThat's why people not looking for a relationship don't want to hang out as platonic friends.\nEspecially when a guy is saying \"It's platonic, I just want to hang out as friends\"\nGirls know the guy will eventually say they are dating.",
">\n\nI think this is very different for everybody. I've never gone from friends to romantic relationship, and I don't think I could ever do it. I really don't see how you can suddenly be attracted to someone.",
">\n\nHubby and I were friends before dating and marrying. Married now 16 years and been through hell and back together. Still standing strong and in the words of my 11 year old “a thriving marriage”",
">\n\nI was good friends with my boyfriend before we started dating (met him at work) and after a couple of years and us both changing jobs it just clicked. I think for some people this can really work out.",
">\n\nIt's a double edge sword I advice people from not doing friendship into relationship. Coz if break up happens you loose tow people. Your GF and your bestfriend, which is the worst and it will be the most lonely and depressing time of your life. \nI talk out of my experience, and I suggest if you can avoid don't mix friendships with romance it can happen if it does good luck to you and I hope it works. But if have the choice not don't.",
">\n\nAre you speaking from personal experience?"
] |
>
Nope. I've been married twice. The second time was a friend I'd known for 11 years. This is not my strongest relationship. | [
"I was good friends with my husband for about 8 years before we started dating. I think we both just needed to grow up a bit. But when we told our friend group we started dating the general reactions was \"about time!\" So I guess it was obvious to everyone but us lol.",
">\n\nMe and my first wife were like rhat",
">\n\nThen what happened?",
">\n\nThen you get told \"I wish I met someone like you.\"",
">\n\nThey make for the most difficult breakups,",
">\n\nSometimes. A better phrase would be that the strongest romantic relationships are also the strongest friendships.\nAlso The honeymoon phase is all relationships. Friendships and lovers. It tends to stop in all relationship when kids get involved 😬",
">\n\nEh, I agree with OP and think it's unpopular because the number of people who meet this way is plummeting, so the acknowledgement makes those people feel insecure.\nOf course you can start a relationship romantically and have it remain successful indefinitely as long as you also build friendship along the way. But there are two key areas this method can never truly replicate:\n\n\nHaving your respect for someone develop 100% independently of your attraction to them. I know a fair number of couples that can't seem to untangle respect and attraction. So when their partner falls in attractiveness it also lowers their overall respect for them. Sometimes that tracks... But sometimes it doesn't (for example, after kids when both people are too tired muster much attraction). Eventually, it leads to problems.\n\n\nAccountability. When you meet through and share a community, there are repercussions for acting a fool. When your only connection to each other is your relationship, there is less incentive to remain civil because you won't be judged/punished by 3rd parties if you don't.\n\n\nIf you look at the complaints that GenZ and younger Millennials have about dating, a lot them can be summed up as \"I'm being treated like a commodity, not like a person.\" Having mutual social ties prevents a lot of that.\nI 100% agree with you about the Honeymoon phase though. After 3 years of being close friends, I started dating my now fiance. Strongest Honeymoon phase I've ever experienced, and also the longest - it's yet to end two years in (and we won't be having kids, so maybe it never will).",
">\n\nIf you meet somebody you’re attracted to, there is no reason you can’t build your romantic relationship along with your friendship. This is typically what i did in all of my relationships. If we couldn’t connect on a more in depth way than attraction, the relationship didn’t last long enough to even call it a relationship. \nA romantic relationship isn’t different than any other except romantic ones tend to involve people feeling more intimate with each other. But it’s the same as if you meet somebody you could never be attracted to. You get to know them. It’s all just regular relationship stuff. If you get into a relationship and don’t bond with that person, friendship or romantic or even family, it doesn’t matter. It’s going to be a fail",
">\n\nI met my wife in a bar. I was drunk as shit and my pickup line was \"You're cute, wanna make out?\"\nShe said \"hell no\", but I talked to her again the next day when I was sober and we hit it off instantly. \nI think the best relationships just don't involve the games, or one person chasing until the other finally settles and gives in.",
">\n\nThis is at least plausible. I agree that the strongest romantic relationships contain an element of robust friendship, but I'm not sure that you need to START like this first. It's possible to develop romance and friendship concurrently.",
">\n\n\nIt's possible to develop romance and friendship concurrently.\n\nI really think this is what happened between my wife and I. We met online gaming in 2000. That doesn't sound revolutinary by today's standards but then it was. We talked more and more and it just kind of developed that we were friends, then it moved to RL and not just games. We became best friends and lovers all at the same time. Been together ever since.",
">\n\n\nWe met online gaming in 2000. Been together ever since.\n\nDon't give redditors too much hope..\njk congrats!",
">\n\nLOL. It was a text based online trivia game. No photos no voice. Just text. You really get to know someone that way. No distractions.",
">\n\nAgreeable. I wouldnt say \"The strongest romantic relationships\" HAVE to start that way, but the ones that do tend to be strong romantic relationships.",
">\n\nI think you’re projecting. My 25 years-and-counting relationship with my wife started out on a foundation of raw, animalistic lust.",
">\n\nBut on the other hand there are plenty of people that are best friends, try to date and realize they have no romantic thing, and afterwards it's getting weird etc. \nYou need a romantic and friendship-base, if you want to stay happy togehter. But what comes first is basically irrelevant.",
">\n\nThat’s great since every time I’ve caught feelings for a friend I also lost them as a friend",
">\n\nThe trick is to not stare at them intently for too long at a time",
">\n\nPeople struggle with dating because of these types of opinions. There is no one way to develop a good relationship, there are many. And one way that works for some people can be the exact reason it fails for others. It depends on everyone involved.",
">\n\nTotally agree, I was friends with my wife for 2 years before we began dating. We will be having our 15th wedding anniversary in a couple weeks.",
">\n\nCongratulations! Yay for best friends!!",
">\n\nI sorta disagree, from personal experience.\nWhen I dated someone who I'd been friends with for years, it didn't turn out well. Yeah sure, I knew the bad and good things about them. But that's a double edged sword, because they figured that I would 'be okay with' the same things now that we were in a relationship. There was nothing new for me to learn about him and no bonding experiences that could help us know each other deeper/better, because we already knew each other incredibly well. He wouldn't shut up about his ex before or during our relationship. I gave him an ultimatum and he only continued. I broke up with him and then became an ex he won't shut up about. \nHowever, when I met my current long distance partner, we only knew each other a month before getting together, as there was relatively quick mutual attraction. Our relationship is now 5 years strong and learning new things about them is/has been a bonding experience that I didn't have with the aforementioned ex of mine.\nSo, I think this isn't true in all cases.",
">\n\nI think you don't mean the strongest but safest. All of the things you mentioned are found in long term partners of dating apps and such as well, but of course they also might not be.\nWhat you're describing is every long term relationship. The trust building, the friendship. And yes you don't always find that on dating apps vs being friends first. But dating apps offer you a large pool to chose from which is generally much larger than your friend group.\nBut you also have to remember the downsides of dating a friend too. If it doesn't work out what happens to your friendship or friend group? Were you just friends to get close enough to date because that's kinda shitty. Not to mention it's hard to know if they're actually like you or don't want to lose a friend so go along with it.",
">\n\nNot for me, I've been with A LOT of people, I've dated a few as well. My current gf and future wife met when she came into my shop to get piercings done with her friends, she called the shop afterwards and we had sex the next day. We have been dating ever since ( 3 years ) and she Is the first woman I trust completely and feel comfortable and know I want to spend my entire life with her, my last relationship was 9 years, we were friends before that, the one before that was 6 years, also friends before. So, no, there really is no rules for making the \"perfect relationship\". My \"one night stand\" turned into the woman im going to spend my life with. Seems others have pointed this out as well. This is projection",
">\n\nMy friend found his first girlfriend on Tindr and she was an abusive narcassist (he left her thank god)\nI was a platonic friend with my bf for 3 years before dating him, and we love each other so fucking much",
">\n\nGood for you!\nNonetheless, all scenarios exist around the same percentage:\n- starting as friends becoming good romantic\n- starting as friends and not being good romantic partners\n- starting as a date/lust and becoming good romantically\n- starting as a date/lust and it does not work out",
">\n\nNot the same percentage, OP is right that you'll find a fulfilling relationship more often in person and starting off as friends.",
">\n\nNot that I don’t believe you, but do you have a source?\nThe best relationships I know are from people in the middle: dating, never knew (or interacted with) each other but taking it slow. People who jump too quickly end up fighting, and the people who were friends for so long do manage, but at the end it seems they do divorce because the spark is gone\nAgain, got no proof for that. Just what it seems",
">\n\nYou're asking me for sauce and yet you have failed to provide sauce yourself for your claim that all relationship types are equally occuring. You can only make a subjetive opinion on the matter and our views will be completely different because experiences are uniaue to the individual.\nPeople who enter marriages quickly end up leaving soon because they failed to know each other better. But instead of dating, they could've literally been friends for a long time and that qualifies for 'getting to know each other' and so jumping into marriage might end up being long term. I guess its dofferent for everyone, but I always wanted to meet my partner in real life either at study or work because I know we would be similar on those grounds. I did and I'm happy, and I'm happy because I got to know him more in the safe friendzone. It was a slow process but it was worth it.",
">\n\nI somewhat agree, but not everyone is lucky enough to have or can stay in social circles where you find your s/o.",
">\n\nI think it kinda boils down to the question, what was first, egg or chicken. You won't have full romantic relationship without sex and the same goes for lust based ones only.\nThis is bit of a myth that you can grow yourself a partner, especially after teenage phase, so you either hit or not into someone compatible making it a luck game, requiring lot of volume to get some points. You can start with passionate sex and just score the best partner in the world or you can start with friendship and never make it till some phase.",
">\n\nIs their proof because my evidence says every time u do that she cheats and you lose a good friend",
">\n\nI actually don't think this is as unpopular as you might think. I think at least some people looking for a steamy romance are not necessarily thinking about a life partner, which is totally ok. In the context of looking for a life partner, this seems pretty common.\nThat said, there are some cases where I'd strongly disagree. Dating allows you to filter people out who have definite life incompatibilities with you. Falling for your friends is great if your friend is compatible with you, but sometimes they're not. I've fallen in love with two close friends, neither who I ever would have gone on a date with (both of them fell for me back). In the end, the friendships turned toxic and fell apart because we wanted things from each other that we actually weren't willing to give, given what we wanted from life. I've honestly had much better luck falling in lust with someone, hanging out with them to see if we're baseline compatible, if not long term, and going from there. This isn't like a one-size-fits-all, but there are definite reasons to date strangers.",
">\n\nI’m in a 5 year relationship with someone who I was friends with. I knew him for like ten years now. I do disagree tho, we definitely had a honeymoon phase",
">\n\nNo. This type of shit is what leads mfs that you just want to be friends with to have some false ass hope for the future. I hate this and if someone just wants to be friends they just want to be friends. I'm not saying it never happens but 9/10 if you don't see them that way..... you never will",
">\n\nI started dating my now wife after we were friends for four years. Sparks are overrated.",
">\n\nI wasn't looking for a relationship. Eventually it just happened.",
">\n\nI fell for my husband after being friends for seven months. I had no initial attraction to him, we were just in the same field in doctoral school and interacted a lot. I was actually in another relationship when I first met him. It wasn’t until we worked closely together and got to know each other on a deeper level months later that a spark started to form. After all those months, I suddenly felt such a deep attraction to him I couldn’t ignore it. \nAll of my previous relationships were like that too. I have never felt instant attraction to any person. It always had to grow with time.",
">\n\nThat's how it worked out for me.",
">\n\nI already knew all of those things about my wife because I was working a crap job for low pay when we met. The entire reason I went back to school was for her. It still took four more years to finish my degree and I didn’t have very much money or time between work and school. She stuck with me through those hard times. I didn’t have to just be her friend but she definitely let it be known that she wouldn’t marry me until I finished college. :)",
">\n\nVery true in my case. I didn’t notice him for years. Then we were just friends. Then best friends. Then best friends that say “I love you” to each-other. But finally i resized my true feelings. Ive been with him 2 long years. I wish I loved him sooner because he’s amazing.",
">\n\nThey make for the most difficult breakups, too.",
">\n\nMaybe, but I dont ruin friendships cuz they are valuable so no.",
">\n\nThis is so true. Friends first! I met my fiance on Facebook through our college class group. I dm'd her first and we spoke for three months as really good friends before meeting in person in the fall. That first week we clicked and knew our intentions. We never expected to date. Fast forward 10 years later ( including 3 years of long distance), we have been living together for two years and get married in Oct. Til this day we love each other very much, and is because we see each other as best friends before partners.",
">\n\nBurying the lede, it’s just better than apps, which are fake as fuck and inflate your self worth.",
">\n\nTrue imo the best relationships are the ones where both partners fully trust and know each other's",
">\n\nI agree, but also because I cannot develop feelings or a spark for someone without knowing them for a long time first. I have never just met a person and instantly had feelings for them.",
">\n\nCompletely the opposite in my opinion. Getting to know someone and having instant sparks and slowly falling in love as you get to know more about them is the best feeling in the world. Often times friends first also break up its just a lot more traumatic and you run a lot more risks about breaking up your friend group and stuff like that.",
">\n\nI disagree. The worst relationship i had was with my best friend. She and i were so fucking toxic to each other, that when we broke up and still had to see each other (Same group of friends), we had to wait 5 years until we were ready to be friends again. \nTo all my fellow guys, don't date your female best friend, you'll end up losing a good friend",
">\n\nI think for some people it’s hard to break out of the mindset once you become friends that this person is meant for friendship. After categorizing some people as friends and others as potential love interests, it’s hard to break that boundary in your head.",
">\n\nIf the relationship ended as not platonic then it was never platonic",
">\n\nThe two best relationships I had were with people who we lived together first, became friends, and then lovers, and then partners. They were really sweet relationships and I hold them close to my heart. \nBecause of this, my rule of thumb is friends first, lovers second and it’s never failed me.",
">\n\nMy rule of thumb is the same, too. All for reasons outlined in this post.",
">\n\nYou are in the friend zone aren't you",
">\n\nStrong disagree. Platonic friendships lead to chemistry-less marriages. Was definitely not friends with my husband before we got married, fancied him too much and still do",
">\n\nThat big crazy love feeling is what attaches us to a person. It’s like a drug and our brain will remember what gave us that feeling while our hearts will tell the brain to keep pursing that person who gave us that good feeling, logical or not. When bad things keep happening in a relationship that good feeling gets over weighed by the bad and that this person is now seen as someone who causes bad feelings instead.. or danger in our brain. Some relationships work out some don’t, you have to remember we hear more about those that don’t then do.\nPeople who are strongly attracted to each other can’t be just friends, nature won’t allow it. They either stop being friends, set boundaries, or give in. I feel like those who started platonic friends means one usually likes the other more then the other does and is looking for security and safety more then chemistry and happiness.",
">\n\nNah, for some of us to get that “in love” feeling we have to know someone for a long time. I never just meet someone and feel anything for them. It took me seven months of friendship to fall for my now husband, but when I finally did, it was every bit as powerful and very much that “drug addicted spark” feeling that you are describing. So I think we are all just different with this.",
">\n\nTook y’all 7 months to give in is all I’m hearing. You felt connection towards each other.",
">\n\nNope, I legitimately was not interested in him in the beginning. I didn’t even find him physically appealing at first. Something changed once I started to interact more with him and got to know his mind over months.\nAnd every other relationship I’ve had has been the same. I have never once felt instant connection to a person. It always takes a long time for it to set in. I need that mental connection and build up.",
">\n\nThat’s still the same thing to me. you got to know him even as friends you developed feelings for him.",
">\n\nYes, but the point is that it happened after months of friendship first, not at the forefront. Which is why many people prefer to start platonically and let things develop.",
">\n\nI’m not sure this is an unpopular opinion….",
">\n\nIt neither popular nor unpopular. Some friendships work out romantically. Other people meet and they have been married 20+ years. No one is better",
">\n\nNah, all happy long-term couples I know started as a romantic relationship. I don't even know how you could have a long platonic friendship and then suddenly feel romantic love and sexual attraction if that wasn't there from the start. If there was romantic connection all along, then you were never friends, you were just taking it slow.",
">\n\nis it weird that I don't believe that relationship between partners can ever be 100% platonic? it is not to disagree with your point, but the initial interest into the engagement must be as least sexual or romantic at some point. It is not to say that it is all that simple, but being a man and having 24/7 urges makes me question dudes who are just friends with female/they them counterpart.",
">\n\nYour urges are entirely your own",
">\n\nyes but my point is that in the heart any interaction that extends to the friendship department among opposite genders are usually have at least of a pretext of a romantic/sexual interest.\nthe interplay of those tensions create the pretext for extending the relationship.\nit is not to say that while getting to know someone you might loose/ or lessen that desire and it can be replaced by the deep bond, but once that bond officially ends in sexual/romantic territory, you cannot agrue in good faith that you were \"just\" friends.",
">\n\nCommon sense, not an unpopular opinion. Love at first sight is not that common, and often doesn't lead to anything anyway. You have to get to know a person before a romance can really start.",
">\n\nWe started as a one night stand, and met every day after, been together for 11 now, so I have to disagree lol.",
">\n\n11 days? I'm impressed \n/s ik what you meant",
">\n\nAha, nice one. Yeah I should have wrote years",
">\n\nI guess.\nPeople are vain and horny.\npeople overestimate their own worth.\nFriendship between men and women are not meant to be.\nDifferent values, expectations, eventually someone gets taken for granted \nHow fucking starved for affection people are.\nIn a ideal world people have healthy relation and friends slowly turning lovers.\nYet we need that dopamine tho.",
">\n\nYe",
">\n\nI don’t know… lots of women seem to get upset, if they are asked out by their friends",
">\n\nBut if that relationship ends poorly you end up losing a great friend.",
">\n\nMy partner and I weren't friends before but we are definitely best friends now after nearly 20 years together",
">\n\nMe and my wife started as friends, we have been together nearly 20 years. And yes, there is a honeymoon phase.",
">\n\nEnemies to lovers is the way to go :D",
">\n\nYeah, the challenge is getting into a friendship with someone of the opposite sex",
">\n\nI dont like the way my friend smells. A relationship therapist says that’s Red flag. Not that they are bad there just won’t be any chemistry.",
">\n\nFor me it doesn’t work like that.\nOnce I put someone in the category of friend they never move from it. Most of the people have dated long term we had romantic chemistry immediately and slept together on the 1st or 2nd date. If it takes much longer than that then we probably don’t genuinely find each other attractive. I would say my limit would probably be 5 dates.",
">\n\nThat's why people not looking for a relationship don't want to hang out as platonic friends.\nEspecially when a guy is saying \"It's platonic, I just want to hang out as friends\"\nGirls know the guy will eventually say they are dating.",
">\n\nI think this is very different for everybody. I've never gone from friends to romantic relationship, and I don't think I could ever do it. I really don't see how you can suddenly be attracted to someone.",
">\n\nHubby and I were friends before dating and marrying. Married now 16 years and been through hell and back together. Still standing strong and in the words of my 11 year old “a thriving marriage”",
">\n\nI was good friends with my boyfriend before we started dating (met him at work) and after a couple of years and us both changing jobs it just clicked. I think for some people this can really work out.",
">\n\nIt's a double edge sword I advice people from not doing friendship into relationship. Coz if break up happens you loose tow people. Your GF and your bestfriend, which is the worst and it will be the most lonely and depressing time of your life. \nI talk out of my experience, and I suggest if you can avoid don't mix friendships with romance it can happen if it does good luck to you and I hope it works. But if have the choice not don't.",
">\n\nAre you speaking from personal experience?",
">\n\nthis isnt unpopular at all"
] |
> | [
"I was good friends with my husband for about 8 years before we started dating. I think we both just needed to grow up a bit. But when we told our friend group we started dating the general reactions was \"about time!\" So I guess it was obvious to everyone but us lol.",
">\n\nMe and my first wife were like rhat",
">\n\nThen what happened?",
">\n\nThen you get told \"I wish I met someone like you.\"",
">\n\nThey make for the most difficult breakups,",
">\n\nSometimes. A better phrase would be that the strongest romantic relationships are also the strongest friendships.\nAlso The honeymoon phase is all relationships. Friendships and lovers. It tends to stop in all relationship when kids get involved 😬",
">\n\nEh, I agree with OP and think it's unpopular because the number of people who meet this way is plummeting, so the acknowledgement makes those people feel insecure.\nOf course you can start a relationship romantically and have it remain successful indefinitely as long as you also build friendship along the way. But there are two key areas this method can never truly replicate:\n\n\nHaving your respect for someone develop 100% independently of your attraction to them. I know a fair number of couples that can't seem to untangle respect and attraction. So when their partner falls in attractiveness it also lowers their overall respect for them. Sometimes that tracks... But sometimes it doesn't (for example, after kids when both people are too tired muster much attraction). Eventually, it leads to problems.\n\n\nAccountability. When you meet through and share a community, there are repercussions for acting a fool. When your only connection to each other is your relationship, there is less incentive to remain civil because you won't be judged/punished by 3rd parties if you don't.\n\n\nIf you look at the complaints that GenZ and younger Millennials have about dating, a lot them can be summed up as \"I'm being treated like a commodity, not like a person.\" Having mutual social ties prevents a lot of that.\nI 100% agree with you about the Honeymoon phase though. After 3 years of being close friends, I started dating my now fiance. Strongest Honeymoon phase I've ever experienced, and also the longest - it's yet to end two years in (and we won't be having kids, so maybe it never will).",
">\n\nIf you meet somebody you’re attracted to, there is no reason you can’t build your romantic relationship along with your friendship. This is typically what i did in all of my relationships. If we couldn’t connect on a more in depth way than attraction, the relationship didn’t last long enough to even call it a relationship. \nA romantic relationship isn’t different than any other except romantic ones tend to involve people feeling more intimate with each other. But it’s the same as if you meet somebody you could never be attracted to. You get to know them. It’s all just regular relationship stuff. If you get into a relationship and don’t bond with that person, friendship or romantic or even family, it doesn’t matter. It’s going to be a fail",
">\n\nI met my wife in a bar. I was drunk as shit and my pickup line was \"You're cute, wanna make out?\"\nShe said \"hell no\", but I talked to her again the next day when I was sober and we hit it off instantly. \nI think the best relationships just don't involve the games, or one person chasing until the other finally settles and gives in.",
">\n\nThis is at least plausible. I agree that the strongest romantic relationships contain an element of robust friendship, but I'm not sure that you need to START like this first. It's possible to develop romance and friendship concurrently.",
">\n\n\nIt's possible to develop romance and friendship concurrently.\n\nI really think this is what happened between my wife and I. We met online gaming in 2000. That doesn't sound revolutinary by today's standards but then it was. We talked more and more and it just kind of developed that we were friends, then it moved to RL and not just games. We became best friends and lovers all at the same time. Been together ever since.",
">\n\n\nWe met online gaming in 2000. Been together ever since.\n\nDon't give redditors too much hope..\njk congrats!",
">\n\nLOL. It was a text based online trivia game. No photos no voice. Just text. You really get to know someone that way. No distractions.",
">\n\nAgreeable. I wouldnt say \"The strongest romantic relationships\" HAVE to start that way, but the ones that do tend to be strong romantic relationships.",
">\n\nI think you’re projecting. My 25 years-and-counting relationship with my wife started out on a foundation of raw, animalistic lust.",
">\n\nBut on the other hand there are plenty of people that are best friends, try to date and realize they have no romantic thing, and afterwards it's getting weird etc. \nYou need a romantic and friendship-base, if you want to stay happy togehter. But what comes first is basically irrelevant.",
">\n\nThat’s great since every time I’ve caught feelings for a friend I also lost them as a friend",
">\n\nThe trick is to not stare at them intently for too long at a time",
">\n\nPeople struggle with dating because of these types of opinions. There is no one way to develop a good relationship, there are many. And one way that works for some people can be the exact reason it fails for others. It depends on everyone involved.",
">\n\nTotally agree, I was friends with my wife for 2 years before we began dating. We will be having our 15th wedding anniversary in a couple weeks.",
">\n\nCongratulations! Yay for best friends!!",
">\n\nI sorta disagree, from personal experience.\nWhen I dated someone who I'd been friends with for years, it didn't turn out well. Yeah sure, I knew the bad and good things about them. But that's a double edged sword, because they figured that I would 'be okay with' the same things now that we were in a relationship. There was nothing new for me to learn about him and no bonding experiences that could help us know each other deeper/better, because we already knew each other incredibly well. He wouldn't shut up about his ex before or during our relationship. I gave him an ultimatum and he only continued. I broke up with him and then became an ex he won't shut up about. \nHowever, when I met my current long distance partner, we only knew each other a month before getting together, as there was relatively quick mutual attraction. Our relationship is now 5 years strong and learning new things about them is/has been a bonding experience that I didn't have with the aforementioned ex of mine.\nSo, I think this isn't true in all cases.",
">\n\nI think you don't mean the strongest but safest. All of the things you mentioned are found in long term partners of dating apps and such as well, but of course they also might not be.\nWhat you're describing is every long term relationship. The trust building, the friendship. And yes you don't always find that on dating apps vs being friends first. But dating apps offer you a large pool to chose from which is generally much larger than your friend group.\nBut you also have to remember the downsides of dating a friend too. If it doesn't work out what happens to your friendship or friend group? Were you just friends to get close enough to date because that's kinda shitty. Not to mention it's hard to know if they're actually like you or don't want to lose a friend so go along with it.",
">\n\nNot for me, I've been with A LOT of people, I've dated a few as well. My current gf and future wife met when she came into my shop to get piercings done with her friends, she called the shop afterwards and we had sex the next day. We have been dating ever since ( 3 years ) and she Is the first woman I trust completely and feel comfortable and know I want to spend my entire life with her, my last relationship was 9 years, we were friends before that, the one before that was 6 years, also friends before. So, no, there really is no rules for making the \"perfect relationship\". My \"one night stand\" turned into the woman im going to spend my life with. Seems others have pointed this out as well. This is projection",
">\n\nMy friend found his first girlfriend on Tindr and she was an abusive narcassist (he left her thank god)\nI was a platonic friend with my bf for 3 years before dating him, and we love each other so fucking much",
">\n\nGood for you!\nNonetheless, all scenarios exist around the same percentage:\n- starting as friends becoming good romantic\n- starting as friends and not being good romantic partners\n- starting as a date/lust and becoming good romantically\n- starting as a date/lust and it does not work out",
">\n\nNot the same percentage, OP is right that you'll find a fulfilling relationship more often in person and starting off as friends.",
">\n\nNot that I don’t believe you, but do you have a source?\nThe best relationships I know are from people in the middle: dating, never knew (or interacted with) each other but taking it slow. People who jump too quickly end up fighting, and the people who were friends for so long do manage, but at the end it seems they do divorce because the spark is gone\nAgain, got no proof for that. Just what it seems",
">\n\nYou're asking me for sauce and yet you have failed to provide sauce yourself for your claim that all relationship types are equally occuring. You can only make a subjetive opinion on the matter and our views will be completely different because experiences are uniaue to the individual.\nPeople who enter marriages quickly end up leaving soon because they failed to know each other better. But instead of dating, they could've literally been friends for a long time and that qualifies for 'getting to know each other' and so jumping into marriage might end up being long term. I guess its dofferent for everyone, but I always wanted to meet my partner in real life either at study or work because I know we would be similar on those grounds. I did and I'm happy, and I'm happy because I got to know him more in the safe friendzone. It was a slow process but it was worth it.",
">\n\nI somewhat agree, but not everyone is lucky enough to have or can stay in social circles where you find your s/o.",
">\n\nI think it kinda boils down to the question, what was first, egg or chicken. You won't have full romantic relationship without sex and the same goes for lust based ones only.\nThis is bit of a myth that you can grow yourself a partner, especially after teenage phase, so you either hit or not into someone compatible making it a luck game, requiring lot of volume to get some points. You can start with passionate sex and just score the best partner in the world or you can start with friendship and never make it till some phase.",
">\n\nIs their proof because my evidence says every time u do that she cheats and you lose a good friend",
">\n\nI actually don't think this is as unpopular as you might think. I think at least some people looking for a steamy romance are not necessarily thinking about a life partner, which is totally ok. In the context of looking for a life partner, this seems pretty common.\nThat said, there are some cases where I'd strongly disagree. Dating allows you to filter people out who have definite life incompatibilities with you. Falling for your friends is great if your friend is compatible with you, but sometimes they're not. I've fallen in love with two close friends, neither who I ever would have gone on a date with (both of them fell for me back). In the end, the friendships turned toxic and fell apart because we wanted things from each other that we actually weren't willing to give, given what we wanted from life. I've honestly had much better luck falling in lust with someone, hanging out with them to see if we're baseline compatible, if not long term, and going from there. This isn't like a one-size-fits-all, but there are definite reasons to date strangers.",
">\n\nI’m in a 5 year relationship with someone who I was friends with. I knew him for like ten years now. I do disagree tho, we definitely had a honeymoon phase",
">\n\nNo. This type of shit is what leads mfs that you just want to be friends with to have some false ass hope for the future. I hate this and if someone just wants to be friends they just want to be friends. I'm not saying it never happens but 9/10 if you don't see them that way..... you never will",
">\n\nI started dating my now wife after we were friends for four years. Sparks are overrated.",
">\n\nI wasn't looking for a relationship. Eventually it just happened.",
">\n\nI fell for my husband after being friends for seven months. I had no initial attraction to him, we were just in the same field in doctoral school and interacted a lot. I was actually in another relationship when I first met him. It wasn’t until we worked closely together and got to know each other on a deeper level months later that a spark started to form. After all those months, I suddenly felt such a deep attraction to him I couldn’t ignore it. \nAll of my previous relationships were like that too. I have never felt instant attraction to any person. It always had to grow with time.",
">\n\nThat's how it worked out for me.",
">\n\nI already knew all of those things about my wife because I was working a crap job for low pay when we met. The entire reason I went back to school was for her. It still took four more years to finish my degree and I didn’t have very much money or time between work and school. She stuck with me through those hard times. I didn’t have to just be her friend but she definitely let it be known that she wouldn’t marry me until I finished college. :)",
">\n\nVery true in my case. I didn’t notice him for years. Then we were just friends. Then best friends. Then best friends that say “I love you” to each-other. But finally i resized my true feelings. Ive been with him 2 long years. I wish I loved him sooner because he’s amazing.",
">\n\nThey make for the most difficult breakups, too.",
">\n\nMaybe, but I dont ruin friendships cuz they are valuable so no.",
">\n\nThis is so true. Friends first! I met my fiance on Facebook through our college class group. I dm'd her first and we spoke for three months as really good friends before meeting in person in the fall. That first week we clicked and knew our intentions. We never expected to date. Fast forward 10 years later ( including 3 years of long distance), we have been living together for two years and get married in Oct. Til this day we love each other very much, and is because we see each other as best friends before partners.",
">\n\nBurying the lede, it’s just better than apps, which are fake as fuck and inflate your self worth.",
">\n\nTrue imo the best relationships are the ones where both partners fully trust and know each other's",
">\n\nI agree, but also because I cannot develop feelings or a spark for someone without knowing them for a long time first. I have never just met a person and instantly had feelings for them.",
">\n\nCompletely the opposite in my opinion. Getting to know someone and having instant sparks and slowly falling in love as you get to know more about them is the best feeling in the world. Often times friends first also break up its just a lot more traumatic and you run a lot more risks about breaking up your friend group and stuff like that.",
">\n\nI disagree. The worst relationship i had was with my best friend. She and i were so fucking toxic to each other, that when we broke up and still had to see each other (Same group of friends), we had to wait 5 years until we were ready to be friends again. \nTo all my fellow guys, don't date your female best friend, you'll end up losing a good friend",
">\n\nI think for some people it’s hard to break out of the mindset once you become friends that this person is meant for friendship. After categorizing some people as friends and others as potential love interests, it’s hard to break that boundary in your head.",
">\n\nIf the relationship ended as not platonic then it was never platonic",
">\n\nThe two best relationships I had were with people who we lived together first, became friends, and then lovers, and then partners. They were really sweet relationships and I hold them close to my heart. \nBecause of this, my rule of thumb is friends first, lovers second and it’s never failed me.",
">\n\nMy rule of thumb is the same, too. All for reasons outlined in this post.",
">\n\nYou are in the friend zone aren't you",
">\n\nStrong disagree. Platonic friendships lead to chemistry-less marriages. Was definitely not friends with my husband before we got married, fancied him too much and still do",
">\n\nThat big crazy love feeling is what attaches us to a person. It’s like a drug and our brain will remember what gave us that feeling while our hearts will tell the brain to keep pursing that person who gave us that good feeling, logical or not. When bad things keep happening in a relationship that good feeling gets over weighed by the bad and that this person is now seen as someone who causes bad feelings instead.. or danger in our brain. Some relationships work out some don’t, you have to remember we hear more about those that don’t then do.\nPeople who are strongly attracted to each other can’t be just friends, nature won’t allow it. They either stop being friends, set boundaries, or give in. I feel like those who started platonic friends means one usually likes the other more then the other does and is looking for security and safety more then chemistry and happiness.",
">\n\nNah, for some of us to get that “in love” feeling we have to know someone for a long time. I never just meet someone and feel anything for them. It took me seven months of friendship to fall for my now husband, but when I finally did, it was every bit as powerful and very much that “drug addicted spark” feeling that you are describing. So I think we are all just different with this.",
">\n\nTook y’all 7 months to give in is all I’m hearing. You felt connection towards each other.",
">\n\nNope, I legitimately was not interested in him in the beginning. I didn’t even find him physically appealing at first. Something changed once I started to interact more with him and got to know his mind over months.\nAnd every other relationship I’ve had has been the same. I have never once felt instant connection to a person. It always takes a long time for it to set in. I need that mental connection and build up.",
">\n\nThat’s still the same thing to me. you got to know him even as friends you developed feelings for him.",
">\n\nYes, but the point is that it happened after months of friendship first, not at the forefront. Which is why many people prefer to start platonically and let things develop.",
">\n\nI’m not sure this is an unpopular opinion….",
">\n\nIt neither popular nor unpopular. Some friendships work out romantically. Other people meet and they have been married 20+ years. No one is better",
">\n\nNah, all happy long-term couples I know started as a romantic relationship. I don't even know how you could have a long platonic friendship and then suddenly feel romantic love and sexual attraction if that wasn't there from the start. If there was romantic connection all along, then you were never friends, you were just taking it slow.",
">\n\nis it weird that I don't believe that relationship between partners can ever be 100% platonic? it is not to disagree with your point, but the initial interest into the engagement must be as least sexual or romantic at some point. It is not to say that it is all that simple, but being a man and having 24/7 urges makes me question dudes who are just friends with female/they them counterpart.",
">\n\nYour urges are entirely your own",
">\n\nyes but my point is that in the heart any interaction that extends to the friendship department among opposite genders are usually have at least of a pretext of a romantic/sexual interest.\nthe interplay of those tensions create the pretext for extending the relationship.\nit is not to say that while getting to know someone you might loose/ or lessen that desire and it can be replaced by the deep bond, but once that bond officially ends in sexual/romantic territory, you cannot agrue in good faith that you were \"just\" friends.",
">\n\nCommon sense, not an unpopular opinion. Love at first sight is not that common, and often doesn't lead to anything anyway. You have to get to know a person before a romance can really start.",
">\n\nWe started as a one night stand, and met every day after, been together for 11 now, so I have to disagree lol.",
">\n\n11 days? I'm impressed \n/s ik what you meant",
">\n\nAha, nice one. Yeah I should have wrote years",
">\n\nI guess.\nPeople are vain and horny.\npeople overestimate their own worth.\nFriendship between men and women are not meant to be.\nDifferent values, expectations, eventually someone gets taken for granted \nHow fucking starved for affection people are.\nIn a ideal world people have healthy relation and friends slowly turning lovers.\nYet we need that dopamine tho.",
">\n\nYe",
">\n\nI don’t know… lots of women seem to get upset, if they are asked out by their friends",
">\n\nBut if that relationship ends poorly you end up losing a great friend.",
">\n\nMy partner and I weren't friends before but we are definitely best friends now after nearly 20 years together",
">\n\nMe and my wife started as friends, we have been together nearly 20 years. And yes, there is a honeymoon phase.",
">\n\nEnemies to lovers is the way to go :D",
">\n\nYeah, the challenge is getting into a friendship with someone of the opposite sex",
">\n\nI dont like the way my friend smells. A relationship therapist says that’s Red flag. Not that they are bad there just won’t be any chemistry.",
">\n\nFor me it doesn’t work like that.\nOnce I put someone in the category of friend they never move from it. Most of the people have dated long term we had romantic chemistry immediately and slept together on the 1st or 2nd date. If it takes much longer than that then we probably don’t genuinely find each other attractive. I would say my limit would probably be 5 dates.",
">\n\nThat's why people not looking for a relationship don't want to hang out as platonic friends.\nEspecially when a guy is saying \"It's platonic, I just want to hang out as friends\"\nGirls know the guy will eventually say they are dating.",
">\n\nI think this is very different for everybody. I've never gone from friends to romantic relationship, and I don't think I could ever do it. I really don't see how you can suddenly be attracted to someone.",
">\n\nHubby and I were friends before dating and marrying. Married now 16 years and been through hell and back together. Still standing strong and in the words of my 11 year old “a thriving marriage”",
">\n\nI was good friends with my boyfriend before we started dating (met him at work) and after a couple of years and us both changing jobs it just clicked. I think for some people this can really work out.",
">\n\nIt's a double edge sword I advice people from not doing friendship into relationship. Coz if break up happens you loose tow people. Your GF and your bestfriend, which is the worst and it will be the most lonely and depressing time of your life. \nI talk out of my experience, and I suggest if you can avoid don't mix friendships with romance it can happen if it does good luck to you and I hope it works. But if have the choice not don't.",
">\n\nAre you speaking from personal experience?",
">\n\nthis isnt unpopular at all",
">\n\nNope. I've been married twice. The second time was a friend I'd known for 11 years. This is not my strongest relationship."
] |
Of all the stock photos of people wearing masks they could choose from, they pick the one with a guy wearing a Porn Hub hat. | [] |
>
Now let’s ask why the fuck he’s wearing a pornhub hat lol. When I leave the house I might put on a Duluth Trading Company hat, that’s a brand I like. Or a University of Wisconsin hat, a school I support. But this guy loves jerking off so much that he wears clothing repping his favorite porn site. You’ve got no choice but to respect that honestly. | [
"Of all the stock photos of people wearing masks they could choose from, they pick the one with a guy wearing a Porn Hub hat."
] |
>
Or maybe it is just a spinoff parody hat. Like he is a farmer and it says "CornBub". | [
"Of all the stock photos of people wearing masks they could choose from, they pick the one with a guy wearing a Porn Hub hat.",
">\n\nNow let’s ask why the fuck he’s wearing a pornhub hat lol. When I leave the house I might put on a Duluth Trading Company hat, that’s a brand I like. Or a University of Wisconsin hat, a school I support. But this guy loves jerking off so much that he wears clothing repping his favorite porn site. You’ve got no choice but to respect that honestly."
] |
>
Corn does have the juice. | [
"Of all the stock photos of people wearing masks they could choose from, they pick the one with a guy wearing a Porn Hub hat.",
">\n\nNow let’s ask why the fuck he’s wearing a pornhub hat lol. When I leave the house I might put on a Duluth Trading Company hat, that’s a brand I like. Or a University of Wisconsin hat, a school I support. But this guy loves jerking off so much that he wears clothing repping his favorite porn site. You’ve got no choice but to respect that honestly.",
">\n\nOr maybe it is just a spinoff parody hat. Like he is a farmer and it says \"CornBub\"."
] |
>
I can't imagine a more beautiful thing! | [
"Of all the stock photos of people wearing masks they could choose from, they pick the one with a guy wearing a Porn Hub hat.",
">\n\nNow let’s ask why the fuck he’s wearing a pornhub hat lol. When I leave the house I might put on a Duluth Trading Company hat, that’s a brand I like. Or a University of Wisconsin hat, a school I support. But this guy loves jerking off so much that he wears clothing repping his favorite porn site. You’ve got no choice but to respect that honestly.",
">\n\nOr maybe it is just a spinoff parody hat. Like he is a farmer and it says \"CornBub\".",
">\n\nCorn does have the juice."
] |
>
Cool now do the ones put in place after 9/11 | [
"Of all the stock photos of people wearing masks they could choose from, they pick the one with a guy wearing a Porn Hub hat.",
">\n\nNow let’s ask why the fuck he’s wearing a pornhub hat lol. When I leave the house I might put on a Duluth Trading Company hat, that’s a brand I like. Or a University of Wisconsin hat, a school I support. But this guy loves jerking off so much that he wears clothing repping his favorite porn site. You’ve got no choice but to respect that honestly.",
">\n\nOr maybe it is just a spinoff parody hat. Like he is a farmer and it says \"CornBub\".",
">\n\nCorn does have the juice.",
">\n\nI can't imagine a more beautiful thing!"
] |
>
will people get dropped from medicaid because of this? | [
"Of all the stock photos of people wearing masks they could choose from, they pick the one with a guy wearing a Porn Hub hat.",
">\n\nNow let’s ask why the fuck he’s wearing a pornhub hat lol. When I leave the house I might put on a Duluth Trading Company hat, that’s a brand I like. Or a University of Wisconsin hat, a school I support. But this guy loves jerking off so much that he wears clothing repping his favorite porn site. You’ve got no choice but to respect that honestly.",
">\n\nOr maybe it is just a spinoff parody hat. Like he is a farmer and it says \"CornBub\".",
">\n\nCorn does have the juice.",
">\n\nI can't imagine a more beautiful thing!",
">\n\nCool now do the ones put in place after 9/11"
] |
>
Yes, at least where I am they ceased ALL negative actions and renewals for medicaid, while it was still declared an ongoing public health crisis. | [
"Of all the stock photos of people wearing masks they could choose from, they pick the one with a guy wearing a Porn Hub hat.",
">\n\nNow let’s ask why the fuck he’s wearing a pornhub hat lol. When I leave the house I might put on a Duluth Trading Company hat, that’s a brand I like. Or a University of Wisconsin hat, a school I support. But this guy loves jerking off so much that he wears clothing repping his favorite porn site. You’ve got no choice but to respect that honestly.",
">\n\nOr maybe it is just a spinoff parody hat. Like he is a farmer and it says \"CornBub\".",
">\n\nCorn does have the juice.",
">\n\nI can't imagine a more beautiful thing!",
">\n\nCool now do the ones put in place after 9/11",
">\n\nwill people get dropped from medicaid because of this?"
] |
>
They stopped those protections a while ago here. I just had a client retroactively denied coverage going back to November... | [
"Of all the stock photos of people wearing masks they could choose from, they pick the one with a guy wearing a Porn Hub hat.",
">\n\nNow let’s ask why the fuck he’s wearing a pornhub hat lol. When I leave the house I might put on a Duluth Trading Company hat, that’s a brand I like. Or a University of Wisconsin hat, a school I support. But this guy loves jerking off so much that he wears clothing repping his favorite porn site. You’ve got no choice but to respect that honestly.",
">\n\nOr maybe it is just a spinoff parody hat. Like he is a farmer and it says \"CornBub\".",
">\n\nCorn does have the juice.",
">\n\nI can't imagine a more beautiful thing!",
">\n\nCool now do the ones put in place after 9/11",
">\n\nwill people get dropped from medicaid because of this?",
">\n\nYes, at least where I am they ceased ALL negative actions and renewals for medicaid, while it was still declared an ongoing public health crisis."
] |
>
RETROACTIVELY denied?!?? That sounds so evil. :( | [
"Of all the stock photos of people wearing masks they could choose from, they pick the one with a guy wearing a Porn Hub hat.",
">\n\nNow let’s ask why the fuck he’s wearing a pornhub hat lol. When I leave the house I might put on a Duluth Trading Company hat, that’s a brand I like. Or a University of Wisconsin hat, a school I support. But this guy loves jerking off so much that he wears clothing repping his favorite porn site. You’ve got no choice but to respect that honestly.",
">\n\nOr maybe it is just a spinoff parody hat. Like he is a farmer and it says \"CornBub\".",
">\n\nCorn does have the juice.",
">\n\nI can't imagine a more beautiful thing!",
">\n\nCool now do the ones put in place after 9/11",
">\n\nwill people get dropped from medicaid because of this?",
">\n\nYes, at least where I am they ceased ALL negative actions and renewals for medicaid, while it was still declared an ongoing public health crisis.",
">\n\nThey stopped those protections a while ago here. I just had a client retroactively denied coverage going back to November..."
] |
>
Insurance in general is evil :/ | [
"Of all the stock photos of people wearing masks they could choose from, they pick the one with a guy wearing a Porn Hub hat.",
">\n\nNow let’s ask why the fuck he’s wearing a pornhub hat lol. When I leave the house I might put on a Duluth Trading Company hat, that’s a brand I like. Or a University of Wisconsin hat, a school I support. But this guy loves jerking off so much that he wears clothing repping his favorite porn site. You’ve got no choice but to respect that honestly.",
">\n\nOr maybe it is just a spinoff parody hat. Like he is a farmer and it says \"CornBub\".",
">\n\nCorn does have the juice.",
">\n\nI can't imagine a more beautiful thing!",
">\n\nCool now do the ones put in place after 9/11",
">\n\nwill people get dropped from medicaid because of this?",
">\n\nYes, at least where I am they ceased ALL negative actions and renewals for medicaid, while it was still declared an ongoing public health crisis.",
">\n\nThey stopped those protections a while ago here. I just had a client retroactively denied coverage going back to November...",
">\n\nRETROACTIVELY denied?!?? That sounds so evil. :("
] |
>
By that, student debt cancellation won’t be a thing. | [
"Of all the stock photos of people wearing masks they could choose from, they pick the one with a guy wearing a Porn Hub hat.",
">\n\nNow let’s ask why the fuck he’s wearing a pornhub hat lol. When I leave the house I might put on a Duluth Trading Company hat, that’s a brand I like. Or a University of Wisconsin hat, a school I support. But this guy loves jerking off so much that he wears clothing repping his favorite porn site. You’ve got no choice but to respect that honestly.",
">\n\nOr maybe it is just a spinoff parody hat. Like he is a farmer and it says \"CornBub\".",
">\n\nCorn does have the juice.",
">\n\nI can't imagine a more beautiful thing!",
">\n\nCool now do the ones put in place after 9/11",
">\n\nwill people get dropped from medicaid because of this?",
">\n\nYes, at least where I am they ceased ALL negative actions and renewals for medicaid, while it was still declared an ongoing public health crisis.",
">\n\nThey stopped those protections a while ago here. I just had a client retroactively denied coverage going back to November...",
">\n\nRETROACTIVELY denied?!?? That sounds so evil. :(",
">\n\nInsurance in general is evil :/"
] |
>
Isn't the loan repayment pause dependent on the covid emergency declaration as well? | [
"Of all the stock photos of people wearing masks they could choose from, they pick the one with a guy wearing a Porn Hub hat.",
">\n\nNow let’s ask why the fuck he’s wearing a pornhub hat lol. When I leave the house I might put on a Duluth Trading Company hat, that’s a brand I like. Or a University of Wisconsin hat, a school I support. But this guy loves jerking off so much that he wears clothing repping his favorite porn site. You’ve got no choice but to respect that honestly.",
">\n\nOr maybe it is just a spinoff parody hat. Like he is a farmer and it says \"CornBub\".",
">\n\nCorn does have the juice.",
">\n\nI can't imagine a more beautiful thing!",
">\n\nCool now do the ones put in place after 9/11",
">\n\nwill people get dropped from medicaid because of this?",
">\n\nYes, at least where I am they ceased ALL negative actions and renewals for medicaid, while it was still declared an ongoing public health crisis.",
">\n\nThey stopped those protections a while ago here. I just had a client retroactively denied coverage going back to November...",
">\n\nRETROACTIVELY denied?!?? That sounds so evil. :(",
">\n\nInsurance in general is evil :/",
">\n\nBy that, student debt cancellation won’t be a thing."
] |
>
Yes. So are the guaranteed sick days, vaccines, medications, hospital stays etc. This will only affect people who are poor and sick. It's not about masks which everyone is pretending. It's about the financial help for the poor and disabled that is being taken away and that's what people are celebrating today. | [
"Of all the stock photos of people wearing masks they could choose from, they pick the one with a guy wearing a Porn Hub hat.",
">\n\nNow let’s ask why the fuck he’s wearing a pornhub hat lol. When I leave the house I might put on a Duluth Trading Company hat, that’s a brand I like. Or a University of Wisconsin hat, a school I support. But this guy loves jerking off so much that he wears clothing repping his favorite porn site. You’ve got no choice but to respect that honestly.",
">\n\nOr maybe it is just a spinoff parody hat. Like he is a farmer and it says \"CornBub\".",
">\n\nCorn does have the juice.",
">\n\nI can't imagine a more beautiful thing!",
">\n\nCool now do the ones put in place after 9/11",
">\n\nwill people get dropped from medicaid because of this?",
">\n\nYes, at least where I am they ceased ALL negative actions and renewals for medicaid, while it was still declared an ongoing public health crisis.",
">\n\nThey stopped those protections a while ago here. I just had a client retroactively denied coverage going back to November...",
">\n\nRETROACTIVELY denied?!?? That sounds so evil. :(",
">\n\nInsurance in general is evil :/",
">\n\nBy that, student debt cancellation won’t be a thing.",
">\n\nIsn't the loan repayment pause dependent on the covid emergency declaration as well?"
] |
>
Also insurance is more inclined to stamp APPROVED on a lot of the things that are used in bad bouts of COVID. Mostly because the Government has been helping cover some of those costs.
Now that this is going away, I can assure anyone who gets a bad bout of COVID, your insurance is going to be breaking out the DENIED stamp a lot more often.
Some of the worse bouts of COVID are six or seven figures. Maybe knock one or two of those digits off with insurance helped by the Government. With this ending, a lot of people are going to be on the hook for that bill now.
Maybe this is what it takes for people to start treating this pandemic seriously? Million dollar medical bills that will haunt them the rest of their lives. I mean, we're still shedding about 200+ some people a day to COVID. That's ~73k a year. That's twice as many people who die in car wrecks annually and about 20% the rate of people who die from heart disease. That puts it in a firm third place for cause of death in the US. | [
"Of all the stock photos of people wearing masks they could choose from, they pick the one with a guy wearing a Porn Hub hat.",
">\n\nNow let’s ask why the fuck he’s wearing a pornhub hat lol. When I leave the house I might put on a Duluth Trading Company hat, that’s a brand I like. Or a University of Wisconsin hat, a school I support. But this guy loves jerking off so much that he wears clothing repping his favorite porn site. You’ve got no choice but to respect that honestly.",
">\n\nOr maybe it is just a spinoff parody hat. Like he is a farmer and it says \"CornBub\".",
">\n\nCorn does have the juice.",
">\n\nI can't imagine a more beautiful thing!",
">\n\nCool now do the ones put in place after 9/11",
">\n\nwill people get dropped from medicaid because of this?",
">\n\nYes, at least where I am they ceased ALL negative actions and renewals for medicaid, while it was still declared an ongoing public health crisis.",
">\n\nThey stopped those protections a while ago here. I just had a client retroactively denied coverage going back to November...",
">\n\nRETROACTIVELY denied?!?? That sounds so evil. :(",
">\n\nInsurance in general is evil :/",
">\n\nBy that, student debt cancellation won’t be a thing.",
">\n\nIsn't the loan repayment pause dependent on the covid emergency declaration as well?",
">\n\nYes. So are the guaranteed sick days, vaccines, medications, hospital stays etc. This will only affect people who are poor and sick. It's not about masks which everyone is pretending. It's about the financial help for the poor and disabled that is being taken away and that's what people are celebrating today."
] |
>
500+ people a day in the US right now | [
"Of all the stock photos of people wearing masks they could choose from, they pick the one with a guy wearing a Porn Hub hat.",
">\n\nNow let’s ask why the fuck he’s wearing a pornhub hat lol. When I leave the house I might put on a Duluth Trading Company hat, that’s a brand I like. Or a University of Wisconsin hat, a school I support. But this guy loves jerking off so much that he wears clothing repping his favorite porn site. You’ve got no choice but to respect that honestly.",
">\n\nOr maybe it is just a spinoff parody hat. Like he is a farmer and it says \"CornBub\".",
">\n\nCorn does have the juice.",
">\n\nI can't imagine a more beautiful thing!",
">\n\nCool now do the ones put in place after 9/11",
">\n\nwill people get dropped from medicaid because of this?",
">\n\nYes, at least where I am they ceased ALL negative actions and renewals for medicaid, while it was still declared an ongoing public health crisis.",
">\n\nThey stopped those protections a while ago here. I just had a client retroactively denied coverage going back to November...",
">\n\nRETROACTIVELY denied?!?? That sounds so evil. :(",
">\n\nInsurance in general is evil :/",
">\n\nBy that, student debt cancellation won’t be a thing.",
">\n\nIsn't the loan repayment pause dependent on the covid emergency declaration as well?",
">\n\nYes. So are the guaranteed sick days, vaccines, medications, hospital stays etc. This will only affect people who are poor and sick. It's not about masks which everyone is pretending. It's about the financial help for the poor and disabled that is being taken away and that's what people are celebrating today.",
">\n\nAlso insurance is more inclined to stamp APPROVED on a lot of the things that are used in bad bouts of COVID. Mostly because the Government has been helping cover some of those costs.\nNow that this is going away, I can assure anyone who gets a bad bout of COVID, your insurance is going to be breaking out the DENIED stamp a lot more often.\nSome of the worse bouts of COVID are six or seven figures. Maybe knock one or two of those digits off with insurance helped by the Government. With this ending, a lot of people are going to be on the hook for that bill now.\nMaybe this is what it takes for people to start treating this pandemic seriously? Million dollar medical bills that will haunt them the rest of their lives. I mean, we're still shedding about 200+ some people a day to COVID. That's ~73k a year. That's twice as many people who die in car wrecks annually and about 20% the rate of people who die from heart disease. That puts it in a firm third place for cause of death in the US."
] |
>
I mean thank god for those 2 checks we got to help us survive 3 years | [
"Of all the stock photos of people wearing masks they could choose from, they pick the one with a guy wearing a Porn Hub hat.",
">\n\nNow let’s ask why the fuck he’s wearing a pornhub hat lol. When I leave the house I might put on a Duluth Trading Company hat, that’s a brand I like. Or a University of Wisconsin hat, a school I support. But this guy loves jerking off so much that he wears clothing repping his favorite porn site. You’ve got no choice but to respect that honestly.",
">\n\nOr maybe it is just a spinoff parody hat. Like he is a farmer and it says \"CornBub\".",
">\n\nCorn does have the juice.",
">\n\nI can't imagine a more beautiful thing!",
">\n\nCool now do the ones put in place after 9/11",
">\n\nwill people get dropped from medicaid because of this?",
">\n\nYes, at least where I am they ceased ALL negative actions and renewals for medicaid, while it was still declared an ongoing public health crisis.",
">\n\nThey stopped those protections a while ago here. I just had a client retroactively denied coverage going back to November...",
">\n\nRETROACTIVELY denied?!?? That sounds so evil. :(",
">\n\nInsurance in general is evil :/",
">\n\nBy that, student debt cancellation won’t be a thing.",
">\n\nIsn't the loan repayment pause dependent on the covid emergency declaration as well?",
">\n\nYes. So are the guaranteed sick days, vaccines, medications, hospital stays etc. This will only affect people who are poor and sick. It's not about masks which everyone is pretending. It's about the financial help for the poor and disabled that is being taken away and that's what people are celebrating today.",
">\n\nAlso insurance is more inclined to stamp APPROVED on a lot of the things that are used in bad bouts of COVID. Mostly because the Government has been helping cover some of those costs.\nNow that this is going away, I can assure anyone who gets a bad bout of COVID, your insurance is going to be breaking out the DENIED stamp a lot more often.\nSome of the worse bouts of COVID are six or seven figures. Maybe knock one or two of those digits off with insurance helped by the Government. With this ending, a lot of people are going to be on the hook for that bill now.\nMaybe this is what it takes for people to start treating this pandemic seriously? Million dollar medical bills that will haunt them the rest of their lives. I mean, we're still shedding about 200+ some people a day to COVID. That's ~73k a year. That's twice as many people who die in car wrecks annually and about 20% the rate of people who die from heart disease. That puts it in a firm third place for cause of death in the US.",
">\n\n500+ people a day in the US right now"
] |
>
And then the record inflation, I know they weren't directly related but it made the checks even more meaningless in the long run. | [
"Of all the stock photos of people wearing masks they could choose from, they pick the one with a guy wearing a Porn Hub hat.",
">\n\nNow let’s ask why the fuck he’s wearing a pornhub hat lol. When I leave the house I might put on a Duluth Trading Company hat, that’s a brand I like. Or a University of Wisconsin hat, a school I support. But this guy loves jerking off so much that he wears clothing repping his favorite porn site. You’ve got no choice but to respect that honestly.",
">\n\nOr maybe it is just a spinoff parody hat. Like he is a farmer and it says \"CornBub\".",
">\n\nCorn does have the juice.",
">\n\nI can't imagine a more beautiful thing!",
">\n\nCool now do the ones put in place after 9/11",
">\n\nwill people get dropped from medicaid because of this?",
">\n\nYes, at least where I am they ceased ALL negative actions and renewals for medicaid, while it was still declared an ongoing public health crisis.",
">\n\nThey stopped those protections a while ago here. I just had a client retroactively denied coverage going back to November...",
">\n\nRETROACTIVELY denied?!?? That sounds so evil. :(",
">\n\nInsurance in general is evil :/",
">\n\nBy that, student debt cancellation won’t be a thing.",
">\n\nIsn't the loan repayment pause dependent on the covid emergency declaration as well?",
">\n\nYes. So are the guaranteed sick days, vaccines, medications, hospital stays etc. This will only affect people who are poor and sick. It's not about masks which everyone is pretending. It's about the financial help for the poor and disabled that is being taken away and that's what people are celebrating today.",
">\n\nAlso insurance is more inclined to stamp APPROVED on a lot of the things that are used in bad bouts of COVID. Mostly because the Government has been helping cover some of those costs.\nNow that this is going away, I can assure anyone who gets a bad bout of COVID, your insurance is going to be breaking out the DENIED stamp a lot more often.\nSome of the worse bouts of COVID are six or seven figures. Maybe knock one or two of those digits off with insurance helped by the Government. With this ending, a lot of people are going to be on the hook for that bill now.\nMaybe this is what it takes for people to start treating this pandemic seriously? Million dollar medical bills that will haunt them the rest of their lives. I mean, we're still shedding about 200+ some people a day to COVID. That's ~73k a year. That's twice as many people who die in car wrecks annually and about 20% the rate of people who die from heart disease. That puts it in a firm third place for cause of death in the US.",
">\n\n500+ people a day in the US right now",
">\n\nI mean thank god for those 2 checks we got to help us survive 3 years"
] |
>
I wonder how this will impact things like loan forgiveness in the courts, which relied on the emergency declaration to get authorization. I have a feeling SCOTUS will give a legally dubious "it was valid at the time of the order but now the declaration is rescinded, so it would be irrelevant by the time we'd let you do it anyway." Thus they don't have to actually decide on whether it was legal and just skip to the boot. They used similar reasoning in other laws they've tossed down in the last decade or so.
Until now I thought they were going to toss it down on the basis that "COVID isn't a big deal anymore," and just ignore the emergency declaration - they also used that reasoning in another COVID-related case recently (Gorsuch stood with liberals in opposing that opinion if I recall correctly). | [
"Of all the stock photos of people wearing masks they could choose from, they pick the one with a guy wearing a Porn Hub hat.",
">\n\nNow let’s ask why the fuck he’s wearing a pornhub hat lol. When I leave the house I might put on a Duluth Trading Company hat, that’s a brand I like. Or a University of Wisconsin hat, a school I support. But this guy loves jerking off so much that he wears clothing repping his favorite porn site. You’ve got no choice but to respect that honestly.",
">\n\nOr maybe it is just a spinoff parody hat. Like he is a farmer and it says \"CornBub\".",
">\n\nCorn does have the juice.",
">\n\nI can't imagine a more beautiful thing!",
">\n\nCool now do the ones put in place after 9/11",
">\n\nwill people get dropped from medicaid because of this?",
">\n\nYes, at least where I am they ceased ALL negative actions and renewals for medicaid, while it was still declared an ongoing public health crisis.",
">\n\nThey stopped those protections a while ago here. I just had a client retroactively denied coverage going back to November...",
">\n\nRETROACTIVELY denied?!?? That sounds so evil. :(",
">\n\nInsurance in general is evil :/",
">\n\nBy that, student debt cancellation won’t be a thing.",
">\n\nIsn't the loan repayment pause dependent on the covid emergency declaration as well?",
">\n\nYes. So are the guaranteed sick days, vaccines, medications, hospital stays etc. This will only affect people who are poor and sick. It's not about masks which everyone is pretending. It's about the financial help for the poor and disabled that is being taken away and that's what people are celebrating today.",
">\n\nAlso insurance is more inclined to stamp APPROVED on a lot of the things that are used in bad bouts of COVID. Mostly because the Government has been helping cover some of those costs.\nNow that this is going away, I can assure anyone who gets a bad bout of COVID, your insurance is going to be breaking out the DENIED stamp a lot more often.\nSome of the worse bouts of COVID are six or seven figures. Maybe knock one or two of those digits off with insurance helped by the Government. With this ending, a lot of people are going to be on the hook for that bill now.\nMaybe this is what it takes for people to start treating this pandemic seriously? Million dollar medical bills that will haunt them the rest of their lives. I mean, we're still shedding about 200+ some people a day to COVID. That's ~73k a year. That's twice as many people who die in car wrecks annually and about 20% the rate of people who die from heart disease. That puts it in a firm third place for cause of death in the US.",
">\n\n500+ people a day in the US right now",
">\n\nI mean thank god for those 2 checks we got to help us survive 3 years",
">\n\nAnd then the record inflation, I know they weren't directly related but it made the checks even more meaningless in the long run."
] |
>
They specifically put in dates in June for the deadline I believe | [
"Of all the stock photos of people wearing masks they could choose from, they pick the one with a guy wearing a Porn Hub hat.",
">\n\nNow let’s ask why the fuck he’s wearing a pornhub hat lol. When I leave the house I might put on a Duluth Trading Company hat, that’s a brand I like. Or a University of Wisconsin hat, a school I support. But this guy loves jerking off so much that he wears clothing repping his favorite porn site. You’ve got no choice but to respect that honestly.",
">\n\nOr maybe it is just a spinoff parody hat. Like he is a farmer and it says \"CornBub\".",
">\n\nCorn does have the juice.",
">\n\nI can't imagine a more beautiful thing!",
">\n\nCool now do the ones put in place after 9/11",
">\n\nwill people get dropped from medicaid because of this?",
">\n\nYes, at least where I am they ceased ALL negative actions and renewals for medicaid, while it was still declared an ongoing public health crisis.",
">\n\nThey stopped those protections a while ago here. I just had a client retroactively denied coverage going back to November...",
">\n\nRETROACTIVELY denied?!?? That sounds so evil. :(",
">\n\nInsurance in general is evil :/",
">\n\nBy that, student debt cancellation won’t be a thing.",
">\n\nIsn't the loan repayment pause dependent on the covid emergency declaration as well?",
">\n\nYes. So are the guaranteed sick days, vaccines, medications, hospital stays etc. This will only affect people who are poor and sick. It's not about masks which everyone is pretending. It's about the financial help for the poor and disabled that is being taken away and that's what people are celebrating today.",
">\n\nAlso insurance is more inclined to stamp APPROVED on a lot of the things that are used in bad bouts of COVID. Mostly because the Government has been helping cover some of those costs.\nNow that this is going away, I can assure anyone who gets a bad bout of COVID, your insurance is going to be breaking out the DENIED stamp a lot more often.\nSome of the worse bouts of COVID are six or seven figures. Maybe knock one or two of those digits off with insurance helped by the Government. With this ending, a lot of people are going to be on the hook for that bill now.\nMaybe this is what it takes for people to start treating this pandemic seriously? Million dollar medical bills that will haunt them the rest of their lives. I mean, we're still shedding about 200+ some people a day to COVID. That's ~73k a year. That's twice as many people who die in car wrecks annually and about 20% the rate of people who die from heart disease. That puts it in a firm third place for cause of death in the US.",
">\n\n500+ people a day in the US right now",
">\n\nI mean thank god for those 2 checks we got to help us survive 3 years",
">\n\nAnd then the record inflation, I know they weren't directly related but it made the checks even more meaningless in the long run.",
">\n\nI wonder how this will impact things like loan forgiveness in the courts, which relied on the emergency declaration to get authorization. I have a feeling SCOTUS will give a legally dubious \"it was valid at the time of the order but now the declaration is rescinded, so it would be irrelevant by the time we'd let you do it anyway.\" Thus they don't have to actually decide on whether it was legal and just skip to the boot. They used similar reasoning in other laws they've tossed down in the last decade or so.\nUntil now I thought they were going to toss it down on the basis that \"COVID isn't a big deal anymore,\" and just ignore the emergency declaration - they also used that reasoning in another COVID-related case recently (Gorsuch stood with liberals in opposing that opinion if I recall correctly)."
] |
>
Well, they ALSO chose a stock photo of people actually WEARING MASKS!!! | [
"Of all the stock photos of people wearing masks they could choose from, they pick the one with a guy wearing a Porn Hub hat.",
">\n\nNow let’s ask why the fuck he’s wearing a pornhub hat lol. When I leave the house I might put on a Duluth Trading Company hat, that’s a brand I like. Or a University of Wisconsin hat, a school I support. But this guy loves jerking off so much that he wears clothing repping his favorite porn site. You’ve got no choice but to respect that honestly.",
">\n\nOr maybe it is just a spinoff parody hat. Like he is a farmer and it says \"CornBub\".",
">\n\nCorn does have the juice.",
">\n\nI can't imagine a more beautiful thing!",
">\n\nCool now do the ones put in place after 9/11",
">\n\nwill people get dropped from medicaid because of this?",
">\n\nYes, at least where I am they ceased ALL negative actions and renewals for medicaid, while it was still declared an ongoing public health crisis.",
">\n\nThey stopped those protections a while ago here. I just had a client retroactively denied coverage going back to November...",
">\n\nRETROACTIVELY denied?!?? That sounds so evil. :(",
">\n\nInsurance in general is evil :/",
">\n\nBy that, student debt cancellation won’t be a thing.",
">\n\nIsn't the loan repayment pause dependent on the covid emergency declaration as well?",
">\n\nYes. So are the guaranteed sick days, vaccines, medications, hospital stays etc. This will only affect people who are poor and sick. It's not about masks which everyone is pretending. It's about the financial help for the poor and disabled that is being taken away and that's what people are celebrating today.",
">\n\nAlso insurance is more inclined to stamp APPROVED on a lot of the things that are used in bad bouts of COVID. Mostly because the Government has been helping cover some of those costs.\nNow that this is going away, I can assure anyone who gets a bad bout of COVID, your insurance is going to be breaking out the DENIED stamp a lot more often.\nSome of the worse bouts of COVID are six or seven figures. Maybe knock one or two of those digits off with insurance helped by the Government. With this ending, a lot of people are going to be on the hook for that bill now.\nMaybe this is what it takes for people to start treating this pandemic seriously? Million dollar medical bills that will haunt them the rest of their lives. I mean, we're still shedding about 200+ some people a day to COVID. That's ~73k a year. That's twice as many people who die in car wrecks annually and about 20% the rate of people who die from heart disease. That puts it in a firm third place for cause of death in the US.",
">\n\n500+ people a day in the US right now",
">\n\nI mean thank god for those 2 checks we got to help us survive 3 years",
">\n\nAnd then the record inflation, I know they weren't directly related but it made the checks even more meaningless in the long run.",
">\n\nI wonder how this will impact things like loan forgiveness in the courts, which relied on the emergency declaration to get authorization. I have a feeling SCOTUS will give a legally dubious \"it was valid at the time of the order but now the declaration is rescinded, so it would be irrelevant by the time we'd let you do it anyway.\" Thus they don't have to actually decide on whether it was legal and just skip to the boot. They used similar reasoning in other laws they've tossed down in the last decade or so.\nUntil now I thought they were going to toss it down on the basis that \"COVID isn't a big deal anymore,\" and just ignore the emergency declaration - they also used that reasoning in another COVID-related case recently (Gorsuch stood with liberals in opposing that opinion if I recall correctly).",
">\n\nThey specifically put in dates in June for the deadline I believe"
] |
>
And a PornHub baseball cap | [
"Of all the stock photos of people wearing masks they could choose from, they pick the one with a guy wearing a Porn Hub hat.",
">\n\nNow let’s ask why the fuck he’s wearing a pornhub hat lol. When I leave the house I might put on a Duluth Trading Company hat, that’s a brand I like. Or a University of Wisconsin hat, a school I support. But this guy loves jerking off so much that he wears clothing repping his favorite porn site. You’ve got no choice but to respect that honestly.",
">\n\nOr maybe it is just a spinoff parody hat. Like he is a farmer and it says \"CornBub\".",
">\n\nCorn does have the juice.",
">\n\nI can't imagine a more beautiful thing!",
">\n\nCool now do the ones put in place after 9/11",
">\n\nwill people get dropped from medicaid because of this?",
">\n\nYes, at least where I am they ceased ALL negative actions and renewals for medicaid, while it was still declared an ongoing public health crisis.",
">\n\nThey stopped those protections a while ago here. I just had a client retroactively denied coverage going back to November...",
">\n\nRETROACTIVELY denied?!?? That sounds so evil. :(",
">\n\nInsurance in general is evil :/",
">\n\nBy that, student debt cancellation won’t be a thing.",
">\n\nIsn't the loan repayment pause dependent on the covid emergency declaration as well?",
">\n\nYes. So are the guaranteed sick days, vaccines, medications, hospital stays etc. This will only affect people who are poor and sick. It's not about masks which everyone is pretending. It's about the financial help for the poor and disabled that is being taken away and that's what people are celebrating today.",
">\n\nAlso insurance is more inclined to stamp APPROVED on a lot of the things that are used in bad bouts of COVID. Mostly because the Government has been helping cover some of those costs.\nNow that this is going away, I can assure anyone who gets a bad bout of COVID, your insurance is going to be breaking out the DENIED stamp a lot more often.\nSome of the worse bouts of COVID are six or seven figures. Maybe knock one or two of those digits off with insurance helped by the Government. With this ending, a lot of people are going to be on the hook for that bill now.\nMaybe this is what it takes for people to start treating this pandemic seriously? Million dollar medical bills that will haunt them the rest of their lives. I mean, we're still shedding about 200+ some people a day to COVID. That's ~73k a year. That's twice as many people who die in car wrecks annually and about 20% the rate of people who die from heart disease. That puts it in a firm third place for cause of death in the US.",
">\n\n500+ people a day in the US right now",
">\n\nI mean thank god for those 2 checks we got to help us survive 3 years",
">\n\nAnd then the record inflation, I know they weren't directly related but it made the checks even more meaningless in the long run.",
">\n\nI wonder how this will impact things like loan forgiveness in the courts, which relied on the emergency declaration to get authorization. I have a feeling SCOTUS will give a legally dubious \"it was valid at the time of the order but now the declaration is rescinded, so it would be irrelevant by the time we'd let you do it anyway.\" Thus they don't have to actually decide on whether it was legal and just skip to the boot. They used similar reasoning in other laws they've tossed down in the last decade or so.\nUntil now I thought they were going to toss it down on the basis that \"COVID isn't a big deal anymore,\" and just ignore the emergency declaration - they also used that reasoning in another COVID-related case recently (Gorsuch stood with liberals in opposing that opinion if I recall correctly).",
">\n\nThey specifically put in dates in June for the deadline I believe",
">\n\nWell, they ALSO chose a stock photo of people actually WEARING MASKS!!!"
] |
>
This has real early war on terror "mission accomplished" vibes to it. | [
"Of all the stock photos of people wearing masks they could choose from, they pick the one with a guy wearing a Porn Hub hat.",
">\n\nNow let’s ask why the fuck he’s wearing a pornhub hat lol. When I leave the house I might put on a Duluth Trading Company hat, that’s a brand I like. Or a University of Wisconsin hat, a school I support. But this guy loves jerking off so much that he wears clothing repping his favorite porn site. You’ve got no choice but to respect that honestly.",
">\n\nOr maybe it is just a spinoff parody hat. Like he is a farmer and it says \"CornBub\".",
">\n\nCorn does have the juice.",
">\n\nI can't imagine a more beautiful thing!",
">\n\nCool now do the ones put in place after 9/11",
">\n\nwill people get dropped from medicaid because of this?",
">\n\nYes, at least where I am they ceased ALL negative actions and renewals for medicaid, while it was still declared an ongoing public health crisis.",
">\n\nThey stopped those protections a while ago here. I just had a client retroactively denied coverage going back to November...",
">\n\nRETROACTIVELY denied?!?? That sounds so evil. :(",
">\n\nInsurance in general is evil :/",
">\n\nBy that, student debt cancellation won’t be a thing.",
">\n\nIsn't the loan repayment pause dependent on the covid emergency declaration as well?",
">\n\nYes. So are the guaranteed sick days, vaccines, medications, hospital stays etc. This will only affect people who are poor and sick. It's not about masks which everyone is pretending. It's about the financial help for the poor and disabled that is being taken away and that's what people are celebrating today.",
">\n\nAlso insurance is more inclined to stamp APPROVED on a lot of the things that are used in bad bouts of COVID. Mostly because the Government has been helping cover some of those costs.\nNow that this is going away, I can assure anyone who gets a bad bout of COVID, your insurance is going to be breaking out the DENIED stamp a lot more often.\nSome of the worse bouts of COVID are six or seven figures. Maybe knock one or two of those digits off with insurance helped by the Government. With this ending, a lot of people are going to be on the hook for that bill now.\nMaybe this is what it takes for people to start treating this pandemic seriously? Million dollar medical bills that will haunt them the rest of their lives. I mean, we're still shedding about 200+ some people a day to COVID. That's ~73k a year. That's twice as many people who die in car wrecks annually and about 20% the rate of people who die from heart disease. That puts it in a firm third place for cause of death in the US.",
">\n\n500+ people a day in the US right now",
">\n\nI mean thank god for those 2 checks we got to help us survive 3 years",
">\n\nAnd then the record inflation, I know they weren't directly related but it made the checks even more meaningless in the long run.",
">\n\nI wonder how this will impact things like loan forgiveness in the courts, which relied on the emergency declaration to get authorization. I have a feeling SCOTUS will give a legally dubious \"it was valid at the time of the order but now the declaration is rescinded, so it would be irrelevant by the time we'd let you do it anyway.\" Thus they don't have to actually decide on whether it was legal and just skip to the boot. They used similar reasoning in other laws they've tossed down in the last decade or so.\nUntil now I thought they were going to toss it down on the basis that \"COVID isn't a big deal anymore,\" and just ignore the emergency declaration - they also used that reasoning in another COVID-related case recently (Gorsuch stood with liberals in opposing that opinion if I recall correctly).",
">\n\nThey specifically put in dates in June for the deadline I believe",
">\n\nWell, they ALSO chose a stock photo of people actually WEARING MASKS!!!",
">\n\nAnd a PornHub baseball cap"
] |
>
Since literally before the disaster even began in earnest in America, that's been the message. No wonder we're at 1.1 million deaths and tens of millions with permanent disabilities. | [
"Of all the stock photos of people wearing masks they could choose from, they pick the one with a guy wearing a Porn Hub hat.",
">\n\nNow let’s ask why the fuck he’s wearing a pornhub hat lol. When I leave the house I might put on a Duluth Trading Company hat, that’s a brand I like. Or a University of Wisconsin hat, a school I support. But this guy loves jerking off so much that he wears clothing repping his favorite porn site. You’ve got no choice but to respect that honestly.",
">\n\nOr maybe it is just a spinoff parody hat. Like he is a farmer and it says \"CornBub\".",
">\n\nCorn does have the juice.",
">\n\nI can't imagine a more beautiful thing!",
">\n\nCool now do the ones put in place after 9/11",
">\n\nwill people get dropped from medicaid because of this?",
">\n\nYes, at least where I am they ceased ALL negative actions and renewals for medicaid, while it was still declared an ongoing public health crisis.",
">\n\nThey stopped those protections a while ago here. I just had a client retroactively denied coverage going back to November...",
">\n\nRETROACTIVELY denied?!?? That sounds so evil. :(",
">\n\nInsurance in general is evil :/",
">\n\nBy that, student debt cancellation won’t be a thing.",
">\n\nIsn't the loan repayment pause dependent on the covid emergency declaration as well?",
">\n\nYes. So are the guaranteed sick days, vaccines, medications, hospital stays etc. This will only affect people who are poor and sick. It's not about masks which everyone is pretending. It's about the financial help for the poor and disabled that is being taken away and that's what people are celebrating today.",
">\n\nAlso insurance is more inclined to stamp APPROVED on a lot of the things that are used in bad bouts of COVID. Mostly because the Government has been helping cover some of those costs.\nNow that this is going away, I can assure anyone who gets a bad bout of COVID, your insurance is going to be breaking out the DENIED stamp a lot more often.\nSome of the worse bouts of COVID are six or seven figures. Maybe knock one or two of those digits off with insurance helped by the Government. With this ending, a lot of people are going to be on the hook for that bill now.\nMaybe this is what it takes for people to start treating this pandemic seriously? Million dollar medical bills that will haunt them the rest of their lives. I mean, we're still shedding about 200+ some people a day to COVID. That's ~73k a year. That's twice as many people who die in car wrecks annually and about 20% the rate of people who die from heart disease. That puts it in a firm third place for cause of death in the US.",
">\n\n500+ people a day in the US right now",
">\n\nI mean thank god for those 2 checks we got to help us survive 3 years",
">\n\nAnd then the record inflation, I know they weren't directly related but it made the checks even more meaningless in the long run.",
">\n\nI wonder how this will impact things like loan forgiveness in the courts, which relied on the emergency declaration to get authorization. I have a feeling SCOTUS will give a legally dubious \"it was valid at the time of the order but now the declaration is rescinded, so it would be irrelevant by the time we'd let you do it anyway.\" Thus they don't have to actually decide on whether it was legal and just skip to the boot. They used similar reasoning in other laws they've tossed down in the last decade or so.\nUntil now I thought they were going to toss it down on the basis that \"COVID isn't a big deal anymore,\" and just ignore the emergency declaration - they also used that reasoning in another COVID-related case recently (Gorsuch stood with liberals in opposing that opinion if I recall correctly).",
">\n\nThey specifically put in dates in June for the deadline I believe",
">\n\nWell, they ALSO chose a stock photo of people actually WEARING MASKS!!!",
">\n\nAnd a PornHub baseball cap",
">\n\nThis has real early war on terror \"mission accomplished\" vibes to it."
] |
>
psst: we're also the most obese nation by far, which is a super big risk factor for severe Covid. | [
"Of all the stock photos of people wearing masks they could choose from, they pick the one with a guy wearing a Porn Hub hat.",
">\n\nNow let’s ask why the fuck he’s wearing a pornhub hat lol. When I leave the house I might put on a Duluth Trading Company hat, that’s a brand I like. Or a University of Wisconsin hat, a school I support. But this guy loves jerking off so much that he wears clothing repping his favorite porn site. You’ve got no choice but to respect that honestly.",
">\n\nOr maybe it is just a spinoff parody hat. Like he is a farmer and it says \"CornBub\".",
">\n\nCorn does have the juice.",
">\n\nI can't imagine a more beautiful thing!",
">\n\nCool now do the ones put in place after 9/11",
">\n\nwill people get dropped from medicaid because of this?",
">\n\nYes, at least where I am they ceased ALL negative actions and renewals for medicaid, while it was still declared an ongoing public health crisis.",
">\n\nThey stopped those protections a while ago here. I just had a client retroactively denied coverage going back to November...",
">\n\nRETROACTIVELY denied?!?? That sounds so evil. :(",
">\n\nInsurance in general is evil :/",
">\n\nBy that, student debt cancellation won’t be a thing.",
">\n\nIsn't the loan repayment pause dependent on the covid emergency declaration as well?",
">\n\nYes. So are the guaranteed sick days, vaccines, medications, hospital stays etc. This will only affect people who are poor and sick. It's not about masks which everyone is pretending. It's about the financial help for the poor and disabled that is being taken away and that's what people are celebrating today.",
">\n\nAlso insurance is more inclined to stamp APPROVED on a lot of the things that are used in bad bouts of COVID. Mostly because the Government has been helping cover some of those costs.\nNow that this is going away, I can assure anyone who gets a bad bout of COVID, your insurance is going to be breaking out the DENIED stamp a lot more often.\nSome of the worse bouts of COVID are six or seven figures. Maybe knock one or two of those digits off with insurance helped by the Government. With this ending, a lot of people are going to be on the hook for that bill now.\nMaybe this is what it takes for people to start treating this pandemic seriously? Million dollar medical bills that will haunt them the rest of their lives. I mean, we're still shedding about 200+ some people a day to COVID. That's ~73k a year. That's twice as many people who die in car wrecks annually and about 20% the rate of people who die from heart disease. That puts it in a firm third place for cause of death in the US.",
">\n\n500+ people a day in the US right now",
">\n\nI mean thank god for those 2 checks we got to help us survive 3 years",
">\n\nAnd then the record inflation, I know they weren't directly related but it made the checks even more meaningless in the long run.",
">\n\nI wonder how this will impact things like loan forgiveness in the courts, which relied on the emergency declaration to get authorization. I have a feeling SCOTUS will give a legally dubious \"it was valid at the time of the order but now the declaration is rescinded, so it would be irrelevant by the time we'd let you do it anyway.\" Thus they don't have to actually decide on whether it was legal and just skip to the boot. They used similar reasoning in other laws they've tossed down in the last decade or so.\nUntil now I thought they were going to toss it down on the basis that \"COVID isn't a big deal anymore,\" and just ignore the emergency declaration - they also used that reasoning in another COVID-related case recently (Gorsuch stood with liberals in opposing that opinion if I recall correctly).",
">\n\nThey specifically put in dates in June for the deadline I believe",
">\n\nWell, they ALSO chose a stock photo of people actually WEARING MASKS!!!",
">\n\nAnd a PornHub baseball cap",
">\n\nThis has real early war on terror \"mission accomplished\" vibes to it.",
">\n\nSince literally before the disaster even began in earnest in America, that's been the message. No wonder we're at 1.1 million deaths and tens of millions with permanent disabilities."
] |
>
I can't read the article but being a caregiver for 2 high risk people, my life won't change. I didn't know there were still protocols in place. | [
"Of all the stock photos of people wearing masks they could choose from, they pick the one with a guy wearing a Porn Hub hat.",
">\n\nNow let’s ask why the fuck he’s wearing a pornhub hat lol. When I leave the house I might put on a Duluth Trading Company hat, that’s a brand I like. Or a University of Wisconsin hat, a school I support. But this guy loves jerking off so much that he wears clothing repping his favorite porn site. You’ve got no choice but to respect that honestly.",
">\n\nOr maybe it is just a spinoff parody hat. Like he is a farmer and it says \"CornBub\".",
">\n\nCorn does have the juice.",
">\n\nI can't imagine a more beautiful thing!",
">\n\nCool now do the ones put in place after 9/11",
">\n\nwill people get dropped from medicaid because of this?",
">\n\nYes, at least where I am they ceased ALL negative actions and renewals for medicaid, while it was still declared an ongoing public health crisis.",
">\n\nThey stopped those protections a while ago here. I just had a client retroactively denied coverage going back to November...",
">\n\nRETROACTIVELY denied?!?? That sounds so evil. :(",
">\n\nInsurance in general is evil :/",
">\n\nBy that, student debt cancellation won’t be a thing.",
">\n\nIsn't the loan repayment pause dependent on the covid emergency declaration as well?",
">\n\nYes. So are the guaranteed sick days, vaccines, medications, hospital stays etc. This will only affect people who are poor and sick. It's not about masks which everyone is pretending. It's about the financial help for the poor and disabled that is being taken away and that's what people are celebrating today.",
">\n\nAlso insurance is more inclined to stamp APPROVED on a lot of the things that are used in bad bouts of COVID. Mostly because the Government has been helping cover some of those costs.\nNow that this is going away, I can assure anyone who gets a bad bout of COVID, your insurance is going to be breaking out the DENIED stamp a lot more often.\nSome of the worse bouts of COVID are six or seven figures. Maybe knock one or two of those digits off with insurance helped by the Government. With this ending, a lot of people are going to be on the hook for that bill now.\nMaybe this is what it takes for people to start treating this pandemic seriously? Million dollar medical bills that will haunt them the rest of their lives. I mean, we're still shedding about 200+ some people a day to COVID. That's ~73k a year. That's twice as many people who die in car wrecks annually and about 20% the rate of people who die from heart disease. That puts it in a firm third place for cause of death in the US.",
">\n\n500+ people a day in the US right now",
">\n\nI mean thank god for those 2 checks we got to help us survive 3 years",
">\n\nAnd then the record inflation, I know they weren't directly related but it made the checks even more meaningless in the long run.",
">\n\nI wonder how this will impact things like loan forgiveness in the courts, which relied on the emergency declaration to get authorization. I have a feeling SCOTUS will give a legally dubious \"it was valid at the time of the order but now the declaration is rescinded, so it would be irrelevant by the time we'd let you do it anyway.\" Thus they don't have to actually decide on whether it was legal and just skip to the boot. They used similar reasoning in other laws they've tossed down in the last decade or so.\nUntil now I thought they were going to toss it down on the basis that \"COVID isn't a big deal anymore,\" and just ignore the emergency declaration - they also used that reasoning in another COVID-related case recently (Gorsuch stood with liberals in opposing that opinion if I recall correctly).",
">\n\nThey specifically put in dates in June for the deadline I believe",
">\n\nWell, they ALSO chose a stock photo of people actually WEARING MASKS!!!",
">\n\nAnd a PornHub baseball cap",
">\n\nThis has real early war on terror \"mission accomplished\" vibes to it.",
">\n\nSince literally before the disaster even began in earnest in America, that's been the message. No wonder we're at 1.1 million deaths and tens of millions with permanent disabilities.",
">\n\npsst: we're also the most obese nation by far, which is a super big risk factor for severe Covid."
] |
>
Yeah I have family members who have had organ transplants. Zero immune system, produce zero antibodies when vaccinated multiple times. Evushield was pulled because it's not effective. And people don't get it, they act like we're freaks wearing masks still. I have been harassed in public, I was 9 mo pregnant and a man kept banging on my car screaming at me to take off my mask. So I am worried that the state of emergency being changed will just make things worse in terms of respecting people still needing to be careful. I just wish the government cared a little more about the immune compromised, or even just pretended to care. | [
"Of all the stock photos of people wearing masks they could choose from, they pick the one with a guy wearing a Porn Hub hat.",
">\n\nNow let’s ask why the fuck he’s wearing a pornhub hat lol. When I leave the house I might put on a Duluth Trading Company hat, that’s a brand I like. Or a University of Wisconsin hat, a school I support. But this guy loves jerking off so much that he wears clothing repping his favorite porn site. You’ve got no choice but to respect that honestly.",
">\n\nOr maybe it is just a spinoff parody hat. Like he is a farmer and it says \"CornBub\".",
">\n\nCorn does have the juice.",
">\n\nI can't imagine a more beautiful thing!",
">\n\nCool now do the ones put in place after 9/11",
">\n\nwill people get dropped from medicaid because of this?",
">\n\nYes, at least where I am they ceased ALL negative actions and renewals for medicaid, while it was still declared an ongoing public health crisis.",
">\n\nThey stopped those protections a while ago here. I just had a client retroactively denied coverage going back to November...",
">\n\nRETROACTIVELY denied?!?? That sounds so evil. :(",
">\n\nInsurance in general is evil :/",
">\n\nBy that, student debt cancellation won’t be a thing.",
">\n\nIsn't the loan repayment pause dependent on the covid emergency declaration as well?",
">\n\nYes. So are the guaranteed sick days, vaccines, medications, hospital stays etc. This will only affect people who are poor and sick. It's not about masks which everyone is pretending. It's about the financial help for the poor and disabled that is being taken away and that's what people are celebrating today.",
">\n\nAlso insurance is more inclined to stamp APPROVED on a lot of the things that are used in bad bouts of COVID. Mostly because the Government has been helping cover some of those costs.\nNow that this is going away, I can assure anyone who gets a bad bout of COVID, your insurance is going to be breaking out the DENIED stamp a lot more often.\nSome of the worse bouts of COVID are six or seven figures. Maybe knock one or two of those digits off with insurance helped by the Government. With this ending, a lot of people are going to be on the hook for that bill now.\nMaybe this is what it takes for people to start treating this pandemic seriously? Million dollar medical bills that will haunt them the rest of their lives. I mean, we're still shedding about 200+ some people a day to COVID. That's ~73k a year. That's twice as many people who die in car wrecks annually and about 20% the rate of people who die from heart disease. That puts it in a firm third place for cause of death in the US.",
">\n\n500+ people a day in the US right now",
">\n\nI mean thank god for those 2 checks we got to help us survive 3 years",
">\n\nAnd then the record inflation, I know they weren't directly related but it made the checks even more meaningless in the long run.",
">\n\nI wonder how this will impact things like loan forgiveness in the courts, which relied on the emergency declaration to get authorization. I have a feeling SCOTUS will give a legally dubious \"it was valid at the time of the order but now the declaration is rescinded, so it would be irrelevant by the time we'd let you do it anyway.\" Thus they don't have to actually decide on whether it was legal and just skip to the boot. They used similar reasoning in other laws they've tossed down in the last decade or so.\nUntil now I thought they were going to toss it down on the basis that \"COVID isn't a big deal anymore,\" and just ignore the emergency declaration - they also used that reasoning in another COVID-related case recently (Gorsuch stood with liberals in opposing that opinion if I recall correctly).",
">\n\nThey specifically put in dates in June for the deadline I believe",
">\n\nWell, they ALSO chose a stock photo of people actually WEARING MASKS!!!",
">\n\nAnd a PornHub baseball cap",
">\n\nThis has real early war on terror \"mission accomplished\" vibes to it.",
">\n\nSince literally before the disaster even began in earnest in America, that's been the message. No wonder we're at 1.1 million deaths and tens of millions with permanent disabilities.",
">\n\npsst: we're also the most obese nation by far, which is a super big risk factor for severe Covid.",
">\n\nI can't read the article but being a caregiver for 2 high risk people, my life won't change. I didn't know there were still protocols in place."
] |
>
I just wish the government cared a little more about the immune compromised, or even just pretended to care.
They don't, we have objective evidence they do not now. Anyone in this situation, or caring for someone in this situation is on their own.
Western Society has really revealed itself to be an uncaring and selfish construct of humanity through this. | [
"Of all the stock photos of people wearing masks they could choose from, they pick the one with a guy wearing a Porn Hub hat.",
">\n\nNow let’s ask why the fuck he’s wearing a pornhub hat lol. When I leave the house I might put on a Duluth Trading Company hat, that’s a brand I like. Or a University of Wisconsin hat, a school I support. But this guy loves jerking off so much that he wears clothing repping his favorite porn site. You’ve got no choice but to respect that honestly.",
">\n\nOr maybe it is just a spinoff parody hat. Like he is a farmer and it says \"CornBub\".",
">\n\nCorn does have the juice.",
">\n\nI can't imagine a more beautiful thing!",
">\n\nCool now do the ones put in place after 9/11",
">\n\nwill people get dropped from medicaid because of this?",
">\n\nYes, at least where I am they ceased ALL negative actions and renewals for medicaid, while it was still declared an ongoing public health crisis.",
">\n\nThey stopped those protections a while ago here. I just had a client retroactively denied coverage going back to November...",
">\n\nRETROACTIVELY denied?!?? That sounds so evil. :(",
">\n\nInsurance in general is evil :/",
">\n\nBy that, student debt cancellation won’t be a thing.",
">\n\nIsn't the loan repayment pause dependent on the covid emergency declaration as well?",
">\n\nYes. So are the guaranteed sick days, vaccines, medications, hospital stays etc. This will only affect people who are poor and sick. It's not about masks which everyone is pretending. It's about the financial help for the poor and disabled that is being taken away and that's what people are celebrating today.",
">\n\nAlso insurance is more inclined to stamp APPROVED on a lot of the things that are used in bad bouts of COVID. Mostly because the Government has been helping cover some of those costs.\nNow that this is going away, I can assure anyone who gets a bad bout of COVID, your insurance is going to be breaking out the DENIED stamp a lot more often.\nSome of the worse bouts of COVID are six or seven figures. Maybe knock one or two of those digits off with insurance helped by the Government. With this ending, a lot of people are going to be on the hook for that bill now.\nMaybe this is what it takes for people to start treating this pandemic seriously? Million dollar medical bills that will haunt them the rest of their lives. I mean, we're still shedding about 200+ some people a day to COVID. That's ~73k a year. That's twice as many people who die in car wrecks annually and about 20% the rate of people who die from heart disease. That puts it in a firm third place for cause of death in the US.",
">\n\n500+ people a day in the US right now",
">\n\nI mean thank god for those 2 checks we got to help us survive 3 years",
">\n\nAnd then the record inflation, I know they weren't directly related but it made the checks even more meaningless in the long run.",
">\n\nI wonder how this will impact things like loan forgiveness in the courts, which relied on the emergency declaration to get authorization. I have a feeling SCOTUS will give a legally dubious \"it was valid at the time of the order but now the declaration is rescinded, so it would be irrelevant by the time we'd let you do it anyway.\" Thus they don't have to actually decide on whether it was legal and just skip to the boot. They used similar reasoning in other laws they've tossed down in the last decade or so.\nUntil now I thought they were going to toss it down on the basis that \"COVID isn't a big deal anymore,\" and just ignore the emergency declaration - they also used that reasoning in another COVID-related case recently (Gorsuch stood with liberals in opposing that opinion if I recall correctly).",
">\n\nThey specifically put in dates in June for the deadline I believe",
">\n\nWell, they ALSO chose a stock photo of people actually WEARING MASKS!!!",
">\n\nAnd a PornHub baseball cap",
">\n\nThis has real early war on terror \"mission accomplished\" vibes to it.",
">\n\nSince literally before the disaster even began in earnest in America, that's been the message. No wonder we're at 1.1 million deaths and tens of millions with permanent disabilities.",
">\n\npsst: we're also the most obese nation by far, which is a super big risk factor for severe Covid.",
">\n\nI can't read the article but being a caregiver for 2 high risk people, my life won't change. I didn't know there were still protocols in place.",
">\n\nYeah I have family members who have had organ transplants. Zero immune system, produce zero antibodies when vaccinated multiple times. Evushield was pulled because it's not effective. And people don't get it, they act like we're freaks wearing masks still. I have been harassed in public, I was 9 mo pregnant and a man kept banging on my car screaming at me to take off my mask. So I am worried that the state of emergency being changed will just make things worse in terms of respecting people still needing to be careful. I just wish the government cared a little more about the immune compromised, or even just pretended to care."
] |
>
Yeah it's really sad, it bothers me how anyone vulnerable is just thrown to the side like they don't matter. It's always been this way here. Look how a lot of nursing homes function. | [
"Of all the stock photos of people wearing masks they could choose from, they pick the one with a guy wearing a Porn Hub hat.",
">\n\nNow let’s ask why the fuck he’s wearing a pornhub hat lol. When I leave the house I might put on a Duluth Trading Company hat, that’s a brand I like. Or a University of Wisconsin hat, a school I support. But this guy loves jerking off so much that he wears clothing repping his favorite porn site. You’ve got no choice but to respect that honestly.",
">\n\nOr maybe it is just a spinoff parody hat. Like he is a farmer and it says \"CornBub\".",
">\n\nCorn does have the juice.",
">\n\nI can't imagine a more beautiful thing!",
">\n\nCool now do the ones put in place after 9/11",
">\n\nwill people get dropped from medicaid because of this?",
">\n\nYes, at least where I am they ceased ALL negative actions and renewals for medicaid, while it was still declared an ongoing public health crisis.",
">\n\nThey stopped those protections a while ago here. I just had a client retroactively denied coverage going back to November...",
">\n\nRETROACTIVELY denied?!?? That sounds so evil. :(",
">\n\nInsurance in general is evil :/",
">\n\nBy that, student debt cancellation won’t be a thing.",
">\n\nIsn't the loan repayment pause dependent on the covid emergency declaration as well?",
">\n\nYes. So are the guaranteed sick days, vaccines, medications, hospital stays etc. This will only affect people who are poor and sick. It's not about masks which everyone is pretending. It's about the financial help for the poor and disabled that is being taken away and that's what people are celebrating today.",
">\n\nAlso insurance is more inclined to stamp APPROVED on a lot of the things that are used in bad bouts of COVID. Mostly because the Government has been helping cover some of those costs.\nNow that this is going away, I can assure anyone who gets a bad bout of COVID, your insurance is going to be breaking out the DENIED stamp a lot more often.\nSome of the worse bouts of COVID are six or seven figures. Maybe knock one or two of those digits off with insurance helped by the Government. With this ending, a lot of people are going to be on the hook for that bill now.\nMaybe this is what it takes for people to start treating this pandemic seriously? Million dollar medical bills that will haunt them the rest of their lives. I mean, we're still shedding about 200+ some people a day to COVID. That's ~73k a year. That's twice as many people who die in car wrecks annually and about 20% the rate of people who die from heart disease. That puts it in a firm third place for cause of death in the US.",
">\n\n500+ people a day in the US right now",
">\n\nI mean thank god for those 2 checks we got to help us survive 3 years",
">\n\nAnd then the record inflation, I know they weren't directly related but it made the checks even more meaningless in the long run.",
">\n\nI wonder how this will impact things like loan forgiveness in the courts, which relied on the emergency declaration to get authorization. I have a feeling SCOTUS will give a legally dubious \"it was valid at the time of the order but now the declaration is rescinded, so it would be irrelevant by the time we'd let you do it anyway.\" Thus they don't have to actually decide on whether it was legal and just skip to the boot. They used similar reasoning in other laws they've tossed down in the last decade or so.\nUntil now I thought they were going to toss it down on the basis that \"COVID isn't a big deal anymore,\" and just ignore the emergency declaration - they also used that reasoning in another COVID-related case recently (Gorsuch stood with liberals in opposing that opinion if I recall correctly).",
">\n\nThey specifically put in dates in June for the deadline I believe",
">\n\nWell, they ALSO chose a stock photo of people actually WEARING MASKS!!!",
">\n\nAnd a PornHub baseball cap",
">\n\nThis has real early war on terror \"mission accomplished\" vibes to it.",
">\n\nSince literally before the disaster even began in earnest in America, that's been the message. No wonder we're at 1.1 million deaths and tens of millions with permanent disabilities.",
">\n\npsst: we're also the most obese nation by far, which is a super big risk factor for severe Covid.",
">\n\nI can't read the article but being a caregiver for 2 high risk people, my life won't change. I didn't know there were still protocols in place.",
">\n\nYeah I have family members who have had organ transplants. Zero immune system, produce zero antibodies when vaccinated multiple times. Evushield was pulled because it's not effective. And people don't get it, they act like we're freaks wearing masks still. I have been harassed in public, I was 9 mo pregnant and a man kept banging on my car screaming at me to take off my mask. So I am worried that the state of emergency being changed will just make things worse in terms of respecting people still needing to be careful. I just wish the government cared a little more about the immune compromised, or even just pretended to care.",
">\n\n\nI just wish the government cared a little more about the immune compromised, or even just pretended to care.\n\nThey don't, we have objective evidence they do not now. Anyone in this situation, or caring for someone in this situation is on their own. \nWestern Society has really revealed itself to be an uncaring and selfish construct of humanity through this."
] |
>
It's always been this way here.
This is the personal revelation I have gone through with this. It's not something new, I just didn't understand where we were at, and now that I do, I can't unsee it.
It kind of reminds me of Logans run, how everyone was killed off young and didn't really get a chance to understand the reality of their situation. The young and healthy are rarely if ever going to interface with the systems we have in place that are like this, except in extraordinary situations like this one. | [
"Of all the stock photos of people wearing masks they could choose from, they pick the one with a guy wearing a Porn Hub hat.",
">\n\nNow let’s ask why the fuck he’s wearing a pornhub hat lol. When I leave the house I might put on a Duluth Trading Company hat, that’s a brand I like. Or a University of Wisconsin hat, a school I support. But this guy loves jerking off so much that he wears clothing repping his favorite porn site. You’ve got no choice but to respect that honestly.",
">\n\nOr maybe it is just a spinoff parody hat. Like he is a farmer and it says \"CornBub\".",
">\n\nCorn does have the juice.",
">\n\nI can't imagine a more beautiful thing!",
">\n\nCool now do the ones put in place after 9/11",
">\n\nwill people get dropped from medicaid because of this?",
">\n\nYes, at least where I am they ceased ALL negative actions and renewals for medicaid, while it was still declared an ongoing public health crisis.",
">\n\nThey stopped those protections a while ago here. I just had a client retroactively denied coverage going back to November...",
">\n\nRETROACTIVELY denied?!?? That sounds so evil. :(",
">\n\nInsurance in general is evil :/",
">\n\nBy that, student debt cancellation won’t be a thing.",
">\n\nIsn't the loan repayment pause dependent on the covid emergency declaration as well?",
">\n\nYes. So are the guaranteed sick days, vaccines, medications, hospital stays etc. This will only affect people who are poor and sick. It's not about masks which everyone is pretending. It's about the financial help for the poor and disabled that is being taken away and that's what people are celebrating today.",
">\n\nAlso insurance is more inclined to stamp APPROVED on a lot of the things that are used in bad bouts of COVID. Mostly because the Government has been helping cover some of those costs.\nNow that this is going away, I can assure anyone who gets a bad bout of COVID, your insurance is going to be breaking out the DENIED stamp a lot more often.\nSome of the worse bouts of COVID are six or seven figures. Maybe knock one or two of those digits off with insurance helped by the Government. With this ending, a lot of people are going to be on the hook for that bill now.\nMaybe this is what it takes for people to start treating this pandemic seriously? Million dollar medical bills that will haunt them the rest of their lives. I mean, we're still shedding about 200+ some people a day to COVID. That's ~73k a year. That's twice as many people who die in car wrecks annually and about 20% the rate of people who die from heart disease. That puts it in a firm third place for cause of death in the US.",
">\n\n500+ people a day in the US right now",
">\n\nI mean thank god for those 2 checks we got to help us survive 3 years",
">\n\nAnd then the record inflation, I know they weren't directly related but it made the checks even more meaningless in the long run.",
">\n\nI wonder how this will impact things like loan forgiveness in the courts, which relied on the emergency declaration to get authorization. I have a feeling SCOTUS will give a legally dubious \"it was valid at the time of the order but now the declaration is rescinded, so it would be irrelevant by the time we'd let you do it anyway.\" Thus they don't have to actually decide on whether it was legal and just skip to the boot. They used similar reasoning in other laws they've tossed down in the last decade or so.\nUntil now I thought they were going to toss it down on the basis that \"COVID isn't a big deal anymore,\" and just ignore the emergency declaration - they also used that reasoning in another COVID-related case recently (Gorsuch stood with liberals in opposing that opinion if I recall correctly).",
">\n\nThey specifically put in dates in June for the deadline I believe",
">\n\nWell, they ALSO chose a stock photo of people actually WEARING MASKS!!!",
">\n\nAnd a PornHub baseball cap",
">\n\nThis has real early war on terror \"mission accomplished\" vibes to it.",
">\n\nSince literally before the disaster even began in earnest in America, that's been the message. No wonder we're at 1.1 million deaths and tens of millions with permanent disabilities.",
">\n\npsst: we're also the most obese nation by far, which is a super big risk factor for severe Covid.",
">\n\nI can't read the article but being a caregiver for 2 high risk people, my life won't change. I didn't know there were still protocols in place.",
">\n\nYeah I have family members who have had organ transplants. Zero immune system, produce zero antibodies when vaccinated multiple times. Evushield was pulled because it's not effective. And people don't get it, they act like we're freaks wearing masks still. I have been harassed in public, I was 9 mo pregnant and a man kept banging on my car screaming at me to take off my mask. So I am worried that the state of emergency being changed will just make things worse in terms of respecting people still needing to be careful. I just wish the government cared a little more about the immune compromised, or even just pretended to care.",
">\n\n\nI just wish the government cared a little more about the immune compromised, or even just pretended to care.\n\nThey don't, we have objective evidence they do not now. Anyone in this situation, or caring for someone in this situation is on their own. \nWestern Society has really revealed itself to be an uncaring and selfish construct of humanity through this.",
">\n\nYeah it's really sad, it bothers me how anyone vulnerable is just thrown to the side like they don't matter. It's always been this way here. Look how a lot of nursing homes function."
] |
>
No I'm in a similar boat. I never realized it until very recently, and it's hard to come to terms with. I hope for change but with the current mentality of parents are evil and everyone over 50 is a crazy Trumper, and then no one caring about babies getting sick or people with cancer or pregnant people or organ recipients, i worry it'll get worse before it gets better. Especially with social media breeding such a self centered perspective on life and a sense of self importance. I wonder if it's this way in other countries too or just the US. | [
"Of all the stock photos of people wearing masks they could choose from, they pick the one with a guy wearing a Porn Hub hat.",
">\n\nNow let’s ask why the fuck he’s wearing a pornhub hat lol. When I leave the house I might put on a Duluth Trading Company hat, that’s a brand I like. Or a University of Wisconsin hat, a school I support. But this guy loves jerking off so much that he wears clothing repping his favorite porn site. You’ve got no choice but to respect that honestly.",
">\n\nOr maybe it is just a spinoff parody hat. Like he is a farmer and it says \"CornBub\".",
">\n\nCorn does have the juice.",
">\n\nI can't imagine a more beautiful thing!",
">\n\nCool now do the ones put in place after 9/11",
">\n\nwill people get dropped from medicaid because of this?",
">\n\nYes, at least where I am they ceased ALL negative actions and renewals for medicaid, while it was still declared an ongoing public health crisis.",
">\n\nThey stopped those protections a while ago here. I just had a client retroactively denied coverage going back to November...",
">\n\nRETROACTIVELY denied?!?? That sounds so evil. :(",
">\n\nInsurance in general is evil :/",
">\n\nBy that, student debt cancellation won’t be a thing.",
">\n\nIsn't the loan repayment pause dependent on the covid emergency declaration as well?",
">\n\nYes. So are the guaranteed sick days, vaccines, medications, hospital stays etc. This will only affect people who are poor and sick. It's not about masks which everyone is pretending. It's about the financial help for the poor and disabled that is being taken away and that's what people are celebrating today.",
">\n\nAlso insurance is more inclined to stamp APPROVED on a lot of the things that are used in bad bouts of COVID. Mostly because the Government has been helping cover some of those costs.\nNow that this is going away, I can assure anyone who gets a bad bout of COVID, your insurance is going to be breaking out the DENIED stamp a lot more often.\nSome of the worse bouts of COVID are six or seven figures. Maybe knock one or two of those digits off with insurance helped by the Government. With this ending, a lot of people are going to be on the hook for that bill now.\nMaybe this is what it takes for people to start treating this pandemic seriously? Million dollar medical bills that will haunt them the rest of their lives. I mean, we're still shedding about 200+ some people a day to COVID. That's ~73k a year. That's twice as many people who die in car wrecks annually and about 20% the rate of people who die from heart disease. That puts it in a firm third place for cause of death in the US.",
">\n\n500+ people a day in the US right now",
">\n\nI mean thank god for those 2 checks we got to help us survive 3 years",
">\n\nAnd then the record inflation, I know they weren't directly related but it made the checks even more meaningless in the long run.",
">\n\nI wonder how this will impact things like loan forgiveness in the courts, which relied on the emergency declaration to get authorization. I have a feeling SCOTUS will give a legally dubious \"it was valid at the time of the order but now the declaration is rescinded, so it would be irrelevant by the time we'd let you do it anyway.\" Thus they don't have to actually decide on whether it was legal and just skip to the boot. They used similar reasoning in other laws they've tossed down in the last decade or so.\nUntil now I thought they were going to toss it down on the basis that \"COVID isn't a big deal anymore,\" and just ignore the emergency declaration - they also used that reasoning in another COVID-related case recently (Gorsuch stood with liberals in opposing that opinion if I recall correctly).",
">\n\nThey specifically put in dates in June for the deadline I believe",
">\n\nWell, they ALSO chose a stock photo of people actually WEARING MASKS!!!",
">\n\nAnd a PornHub baseball cap",
">\n\nThis has real early war on terror \"mission accomplished\" vibes to it.",
">\n\nSince literally before the disaster even began in earnest in America, that's been the message. No wonder we're at 1.1 million deaths and tens of millions with permanent disabilities.",
">\n\npsst: we're also the most obese nation by far, which is a super big risk factor for severe Covid.",
">\n\nI can't read the article but being a caregiver for 2 high risk people, my life won't change. I didn't know there were still protocols in place.",
">\n\nYeah I have family members who have had organ transplants. Zero immune system, produce zero antibodies when vaccinated multiple times. Evushield was pulled because it's not effective. And people don't get it, they act like we're freaks wearing masks still. I have been harassed in public, I was 9 mo pregnant and a man kept banging on my car screaming at me to take off my mask. So I am worried that the state of emergency being changed will just make things worse in terms of respecting people still needing to be careful. I just wish the government cared a little more about the immune compromised, or even just pretended to care.",
">\n\n\nI just wish the government cared a little more about the immune compromised, or even just pretended to care.\n\nThey don't, we have objective evidence they do not now. Anyone in this situation, or caring for someone in this situation is on their own. \nWestern Society has really revealed itself to be an uncaring and selfish construct of humanity through this.",
">\n\nYeah it's really sad, it bothers me how anyone vulnerable is just thrown to the side like they don't matter. It's always been this way here. Look how a lot of nursing homes function.",
">\n\n\nIt's always been this way here.\n\nThis is the personal revelation I have gone through with this. It's not something new, I just didn't understand where we were at, and now that I do, I can't unsee it. \nIt kind of reminds me of Logans run, how everyone was killed off young and didn't really get a chance to understand the reality of their situation. The young and healthy are rarely if ever going to interface with the systems we have in place that are like this, except in extraordinary situations like this one."
] |
>
It absolutely is the same way in other countries. It may look a little different, but people have definitely reacted the same way, at least from a logical perspective.
Look at the Canadian trucker situation, and the Swedish approach to COVID from the start, Q-anon inspired would-be coupers in Germany, etc...
I don't know how we collectively dig ourselves out of this, but the focus of my life moving forward it to spend what energy and time I have left on this earth trying to figure out what I can do to help move us in that direction.
What I do know is that this is not the way to do things.
I'm glad you've engaged here, it's always nice to know that there are others out there who are paying attention to things and actually have empathy. | [
"Of all the stock photos of people wearing masks they could choose from, they pick the one with a guy wearing a Porn Hub hat.",
">\n\nNow let’s ask why the fuck he’s wearing a pornhub hat lol. When I leave the house I might put on a Duluth Trading Company hat, that’s a brand I like. Or a University of Wisconsin hat, a school I support. But this guy loves jerking off so much that he wears clothing repping his favorite porn site. You’ve got no choice but to respect that honestly.",
">\n\nOr maybe it is just a spinoff parody hat. Like he is a farmer and it says \"CornBub\".",
">\n\nCorn does have the juice.",
">\n\nI can't imagine a more beautiful thing!",
">\n\nCool now do the ones put in place after 9/11",
">\n\nwill people get dropped from medicaid because of this?",
">\n\nYes, at least where I am they ceased ALL negative actions and renewals for medicaid, while it was still declared an ongoing public health crisis.",
">\n\nThey stopped those protections a while ago here. I just had a client retroactively denied coverage going back to November...",
">\n\nRETROACTIVELY denied?!?? That sounds so evil. :(",
">\n\nInsurance in general is evil :/",
">\n\nBy that, student debt cancellation won’t be a thing.",
">\n\nIsn't the loan repayment pause dependent on the covid emergency declaration as well?",
">\n\nYes. So are the guaranteed sick days, vaccines, medications, hospital stays etc. This will only affect people who are poor and sick. It's not about masks which everyone is pretending. It's about the financial help for the poor and disabled that is being taken away and that's what people are celebrating today.",
">\n\nAlso insurance is more inclined to stamp APPROVED on a lot of the things that are used in bad bouts of COVID. Mostly because the Government has been helping cover some of those costs.\nNow that this is going away, I can assure anyone who gets a bad bout of COVID, your insurance is going to be breaking out the DENIED stamp a lot more often.\nSome of the worse bouts of COVID are six or seven figures. Maybe knock one or two of those digits off with insurance helped by the Government. With this ending, a lot of people are going to be on the hook for that bill now.\nMaybe this is what it takes for people to start treating this pandemic seriously? Million dollar medical bills that will haunt them the rest of their lives. I mean, we're still shedding about 200+ some people a day to COVID. That's ~73k a year. That's twice as many people who die in car wrecks annually and about 20% the rate of people who die from heart disease. That puts it in a firm third place for cause of death in the US.",
">\n\n500+ people a day in the US right now",
">\n\nI mean thank god for those 2 checks we got to help us survive 3 years",
">\n\nAnd then the record inflation, I know they weren't directly related but it made the checks even more meaningless in the long run.",
">\n\nI wonder how this will impact things like loan forgiveness in the courts, which relied on the emergency declaration to get authorization. I have a feeling SCOTUS will give a legally dubious \"it was valid at the time of the order but now the declaration is rescinded, so it would be irrelevant by the time we'd let you do it anyway.\" Thus they don't have to actually decide on whether it was legal and just skip to the boot. They used similar reasoning in other laws they've tossed down in the last decade or so.\nUntil now I thought they were going to toss it down on the basis that \"COVID isn't a big deal anymore,\" and just ignore the emergency declaration - they also used that reasoning in another COVID-related case recently (Gorsuch stood with liberals in opposing that opinion if I recall correctly).",
">\n\nThey specifically put in dates in June for the deadline I believe",
">\n\nWell, they ALSO chose a stock photo of people actually WEARING MASKS!!!",
">\n\nAnd a PornHub baseball cap",
">\n\nThis has real early war on terror \"mission accomplished\" vibes to it.",
">\n\nSince literally before the disaster even began in earnest in America, that's been the message. No wonder we're at 1.1 million deaths and tens of millions with permanent disabilities.",
">\n\npsst: we're also the most obese nation by far, which is a super big risk factor for severe Covid.",
">\n\nI can't read the article but being a caregiver for 2 high risk people, my life won't change. I didn't know there were still protocols in place.",
">\n\nYeah I have family members who have had organ transplants. Zero immune system, produce zero antibodies when vaccinated multiple times. Evushield was pulled because it's not effective. And people don't get it, they act like we're freaks wearing masks still. I have been harassed in public, I was 9 mo pregnant and a man kept banging on my car screaming at me to take off my mask. So I am worried that the state of emergency being changed will just make things worse in terms of respecting people still needing to be careful. I just wish the government cared a little more about the immune compromised, or even just pretended to care.",
">\n\n\nI just wish the government cared a little more about the immune compromised, or even just pretended to care.\n\nThey don't, we have objective evidence they do not now. Anyone in this situation, or caring for someone in this situation is on their own. \nWestern Society has really revealed itself to be an uncaring and selfish construct of humanity through this.",
">\n\nYeah it's really sad, it bothers me how anyone vulnerable is just thrown to the side like they don't matter. It's always been this way here. Look how a lot of nursing homes function.",
">\n\n\nIt's always been this way here.\n\nThis is the personal revelation I have gone through with this. It's not something new, I just didn't understand where we were at, and now that I do, I can't unsee it. \nIt kind of reminds me of Logans run, how everyone was killed off young and didn't really get a chance to understand the reality of their situation. The young and healthy are rarely if ever going to interface with the systems we have in place that are like this, except in extraordinary situations like this one.",
">\n\nNo I'm in a similar boat. I never realized it until very recently, and it's hard to come to terms with. I hope for change but with the current mentality of parents are evil and everyone over 50 is a crazy Trumper, and then no one caring about babies getting sick or people with cancer or pregnant people or organ recipients, i worry it'll get worse before it gets better. Especially with social media breeding such a self centered perspective on life and a sense of self importance. I wonder if it's this way in other countries too or just the US."
] |
>
Definitely, it's been nice chatting with you too. I'm trying to make a difference too, starting within my family while my kids are little and my parents need help, and hopefully finding a way to contribute to change in society too. Take care, stay healthy. | [
"Of all the stock photos of people wearing masks they could choose from, they pick the one with a guy wearing a Porn Hub hat.",
">\n\nNow let’s ask why the fuck he’s wearing a pornhub hat lol. When I leave the house I might put on a Duluth Trading Company hat, that’s a brand I like. Or a University of Wisconsin hat, a school I support. But this guy loves jerking off so much that he wears clothing repping his favorite porn site. You’ve got no choice but to respect that honestly.",
">\n\nOr maybe it is just a spinoff parody hat. Like he is a farmer and it says \"CornBub\".",
">\n\nCorn does have the juice.",
">\n\nI can't imagine a more beautiful thing!",
">\n\nCool now do the ones put in place after 9/11",
">\n\nwill people get dropped from medicaid because of this?",
">\n\nYes, at least where I am they ceased ALL negative actions and renewals for medicaid, while it was still declared an ongoing public health crisis.",
">\n\nThey stopped those protections a while ago here. I just had a client retroactively denied coverage going back to November...",
">\n\nRETROACTIVELY denied?!?? That sounds so evil. :(",
">\n\nInsurance in general is evil :/",
">\n\nBy that, student debt cancellation won’t be a thing.",
">\n\nIsn't the loan repayment pause dependent on the covid emergency declaration as well?",
">\n\nYes. So are the guaranteed sick days, vaccines, medications, hospital stays etc. This will only affect people who are poor and sick. It's not about masks which everyone is pretending. It's about the financial help for the poor and disabled that is being taken away and that's what people are celebrating today.",
">\n\nAlso insurance is more inclined to stamp APPROVED on a lot of the things that are used in bad bouts of COVID. Mostly because the Government has been helping cover some of those costs.\nNow that this is going away, I can assure anyone who gets a bad bout of COVID, your insurance is going to be breaking out the DENIED stamp a lot more often.\nSome of the worse bouts of COVID are six or seven figures. Maybe knock one or two of those digits off with insurance helped by the Government. With this ending, a lot of people are going to be on the hook for that bill now.\nMaybe this is what it takes for people to start treating this pandemic seriously? Million dollar medical bills that will haunt them the rest of their lives. I mean, we're still shedding about 200+ some people a day to COVID. That's ~73k a year. That's twice as many people who die in car wrecks annually and about 20% the rate of people who die from heart disease. That puts it in a firm third place for cause of death in the US.",
">\n\n500+ people a day in the US right now",
">\n\nI mean thank god for those 2 checks we got to help us survive 3 years",
">\n\nAnd then the record inflation, I know they weren't directly related but it made the checks even more meaningless in the long run.",
">\n\nI wonder how this will impact things like loan forgiveness in the courts, which relied on the emergency declaration to get authorization. I have a feeling SCOTUS will give a legally dubious \"it was valid at the time of the order but now the declaration is rescinded, so it would be irrelevant by the time we'd let you do it anyway.\" Thus they don't have to actually decide on whether it was legal and just skip to the boot. They used similar reasoning in other laws they've tossed down in the last decade or so.\nUntil now I thought they were going to toss it down on the basis that \"COVID isn't a big deal anymore,\" and just ignore the emergency declaration - they also used that reasoning in another COVID-related case recently (Gorsuch stood with liberals in opposing that opinion if I recall correctly).",
">\n\nThey specifically put in dates in June for the deadline I believe",
">\n\nWell, they ALSO chose a stock photo of people actually WEARING MASKS!!!",
">\n\nAnd a PornHub baseball cap",
">\n\nThis has real early war on terror \"mission accomplished\" vibes to it.",
">\n\nSince literally before the disaster even began in earnest in America, that's been the message. No wonder we're at 1.1 million deaths and tens of millions with permanent disabilities.",
">\n\npsst: we're also the most obese nation by far, which is a super big risk factor for severe Covid.",
">\n\nI can't read the article but being a caregiver for 2 high risk people, my life won't change. I didn't know there were still protocols in place.",
">\n\nYeah I have family members who have had organ transplants. Zero immune system, produce zero antibodies when vaccinated multiple times. Evushield was pulled because it's not effective. And people don't get it, they act like we're freaks wearing masks still. I have been harassed in public, I was 9 mo pregnant and a man kept banging on my car screaming at me to take off my mask. So I am worried that the state of emergency being changed will just make things worse in terms of respecting people still needing to be careful. I just wish the government cared a little more about the immune compromised, or even just pretended to care.",
">\n\n\nI just wish the government cared a little more about the immune compromised, or even just pretended to care.\n\nThey don't, we have objective evidence they do not now. Anyone in this situation, or caring for someone in this situation is on their own. \nWestern Society has really revealed itself to be an uncaring and selfish construct of humanity through this.",
">\n\nYeah it's really sad, it bothers me how anyone vulnerable is just thrown to the side like they don't matter. It's always been this way here. Look how a lot of nursing homes function.",
">\n\n\nIt's always been this way here.\n\nThis is the personal revelation I have gone through with this. It's not something new, I just didn't understand where we were at, and now that I do, I can't unsee it. \nIt kind of reminds me of Logans run, how everyone was killed off young and didn't really get a chance to understand the reality of their situation. The young and healthy are rarely if ever going to interface with the systems we have in place that are like this, except in extraordinary situations like this one.",
">\n\nNo I'm in a similar boat. I never realized it until very recently, and it's hard to come to terms with. I hope for change but with the current mentality of parents are evil and everyone over 50 is a crazy Trumper, and then no one caring about babies getting sick or people with cancer or pregnant people or organ recipients, i worry it'll get worse before it gets better. Especially with social media breeding such a self centered perspective on life and a sense of self importance. I wonder if it's this way in other countries too or just the US.",
">\n\nIt absolutely is the same way in other countries. It may look a little different, but people have definitely reacted the same way, at least from a logical perspective. \nLook at the Canadian trucker situation, and the Swedish approach to COVID from the start, Q-anon inspired would-be coupers in Germany, etc... \nI don't know how we collectively dig ourselves out of this, but the focus of my life moving forward it to spend what energy and time I have left on this earth trying to figure out what I can do to help move us in that direction. \nWhat I do know is that this is not the way to do things. \nI'm glad you've engaged here, it's always nice to know that there are others out there who are paying attention to things and actually have empathy."
] |
>
Fuck. There goes my Medicaid | [
"Of all the stock photos of people wearing masks they could choose from, they pick the one with a guy wearing a Porn Hub hat.",
">\n\nNow let’s ask why the fuck he’s wearing a pornhub hat lol. When I leave the house I might put on a Duluth Trading Company hat, that’s a brand I like. Or a University of Wisconsin hat, a school I support. But this guy loves jerking off so much that he wears clothing repping his favorite porn site. You’ve got no choice but to respect that honestly.",
">\n\nOr maybe it is just a spinoff parody hat. Like he is a farmer and it says \"CornBub\".",
">\n\nCorn does have the juice.",
">\n\nI can't imagine a more beautiful thing!",
">\n\nCool now do the ones put in place after 9/11",
">\n\nwill people get dropped from medicaid because of this?",
">\n\nYes, at least where I am they ceased ALL negative actions and renewals for medicaid, while it was still declared an ongoing public health crisis.",
">\n\nThey stopped those protections a while ago here. I just had a client retroactively denied coverage going back to November...",
">\n\nRETROACTIVELY denied?!?? That sounds so evil. :(",
">\n\nInsurance in general is evil :/",
">\n\nBy that, student debt cancellation won’t be a thing.",
">\n\nIsn't the loan repayment pause dependent on the covid emergency declaration as well?",
">\n\nYes. So are the guaranteed sick days, vaccines, medications, hospital stays etc. This will only affect people who are poor and sick. It's not about masks which everyone is pretending. It's about the financial help for the poor and disabled that is being taken away and that's what people are celebrating today.",
">\n\nAlso insurance is more inclined to stamp APPROVED on a lot of the things that are used in bad bouts of COVID. Mostly because the Government has been helping cover some of those costs.\nNow that this is going away, I can assure anyone who gets a bad bout of COVID, your insurance is going to be breaking out the DENIED stamp a lot more often.\nSome of the worse bouts of COVID are six or seven figures. Maybe knock one or two of those digits off with insurance helped by the Government. With this ending, a lot of people are going to be on the hook for that bill now.\nMaybe this is what it takes for people to start treating this pandemic seriously? Million dollar medical bills that will haunt them the rest of their lives. I mean, we're still shedding about 200+ some people a day to COVID. That's ~73k a year. That's twice as many people who die in car wrecks annually and about 20% the rate of people who die from heart disease. That puts it in a firm third place for cause of death in the US.",
">\n\n500+ people a day in the US right now",
">\n\nI mean thank god for those 2 checks we got to help us survive 3 years",
">\n\nAnd then the record inflation, I know they weren't directly related but it made the checks even more meaningless in the long run.",
">\n\nI wonder how this will impact things like loan forgiveness in the courts, which relied on the emergency declaration to get authorization. I have a feeling SCOTUS will give a legally dubious \"it was valid at the time of the order but now the declaration is rescinded, so it would be irrelevant by the time we'd let you do it anyway.\" Thus they don't have to actually decide on whether it was legal and just skip to the boot. They used similar reasoning in other laws they've tossed down in the last decade or so.\nUntil now I thought they were going to toss it down on the basis that \"COVID isn't a big deal anymore,\" and just ignore the emergency declaration - they also used that reasoning in another COVID-related case recently (Gorsuch stood with liberals in opposing that opinion if I recall correctly).",
">\n\nThey specifically put in dates in June for the deadline I believe",
">\n\nWell, they ALSO chose a stock photo of people actually WEARING MASKS!!!",
">\n\nAnd a PornHub baseball cap",
">\n\nThis has real early war on terror \"mission accomplished\" vibes to it.",
">\n\nSince literally before the disaster even began in earnest in America, that's been the message. No wonder we're at 1.1 million deaths and tens of millions with permanent disabilities.",
">\n\npsst: we're also the most obese nation by far, which is a super big risk factor for severe Covid.",
">\n\nI can't read the article but being a caregiver for 2 high risk people, my life won't change. I didn't know there were still protocols in place.",
">\n\nYeah I have family members who have had organ transplants. Zero immune system, produce zero antibodies when vaccinated multiple times. Evushield was pulled because it's not effective. And people don't get it, they act like we're freaks wearing masks still. I have been harassed in public, I was 9 mo pregnant and a man kept banging on my car screaming at me to take off my mask. So I am worried that the state of emergency being changed will just make things worse in terms of respecting people still needing to be careful. I just wish the government cared a little more about the immune compromised, or even just pretended to care.",
">\n\n\nI just wish the government cared a little more about the immune compromised, or even just pretended to care.\n\nThey don't, we have objective evidence they do not now. Anyone in this situation, or caring for someone in this situation is on their own. \nWestern Society has really revealed itself to be an uncaring and selfish construct of humanity through this.",
">\n\nYeah it's really sad, it bothers me how anyone vulnerable is just thrown to the side like they don't matter. It's always been this way here. Look how a lot of nursing homes function.",
">\n\n\nIt's always been this way here.\n\nThis is the personal revelation I have gone through with this. It's not something new, I just didn't understand where we were at, and now that I do, I can't unsee it. \nIt kind of reminds me of Logans run, how everyone was killed off young and didn't really get a chance to understand the reality of their situation. The young and healthy are rarely if ever going to interface with the systems we have in place that are like this, except in extraordinary situations like this one.",
">\n\nNo I'm in a similar boat. I never realized it until very recently, and it's hard to come to terms with. I hope for change but with the current mentality of parents are evil and everyone over 50 is a crazy Trumper, and then no one caring about babies getting sick or people with cancer or pregnant people or organ recipients, i worry it'll get worse before it gets better. Especially with social media breeding such a self centered perspective on life and a sense of self importance. I wonder if it's this way in other countries too or just the US.",
">\n\nIt absolutely is the same way in other countries. It may look a little different, but people have definitely reacted the same way, at least from a logical perspective. \nLook at the Canadian trucker situation, and the Swedish approach to COVID from the start, Q-anon inspired would-be coupers in Germany, etc... \nI don't know how we collectively dig ourselves out of this, but the focus of my life moving forward it to spend what energy and time I have left on this earth trying to figure out what I can do to help move us in that direction. \nWhat I do know is that this is not the way to do things. \nI'm glad you've engaged here, it's always nice to know that there are others out there who are paying attention to things and actually have empathy.",
">\n\nDefinitely, it's been nice chatting with you too. I'm trying to make a difference too, starting within my family while my kids are little and my parents need help, and hopefully finding a way to contribute to change in society too. Take care, stay healthy."
] |
>
As a student who just got on Medicaid end of last year, could you explain to me why you will lose it? Did you qualify for it during covid but no longer qualify for it now? And with the end of the emergency declarations, it won’t be extended to you? | [
"Of all the stock photos of people wearing masks they could choose from, they pick the one with a guy wearing a Porn Hub hat.",
">\n\nNow let’s ask why the fuck he’s wearing a pornhub hat lol. When I leave the house I might put on a Duluth Trading Company hat, that’s a brand I like. Or a University of Wisconsin hat, a school I support. But this guy loves jerking off so much that he wears clothing repping his favorite porn site. You’ve got no choice but to respect that honestly.",
">\n\nOr maybe it is just a spinoff parody hat. Like he is a farmer and it says \"CornBub\".",
">\n\nCorn does have the juice.",
">\n\nI can't imagine a more beautiful thing!",
">\n\nCool now do the ones put in place after 9/11",
">\n\nwill people get dropped from medicaid because of this?",
">\n\nYes, at least where I am they ceased ALL negative actions and renewals for medicaid, while it was still declared an ongoing public health crisis.",
">\n\nThey stopped those protections a while ago here. I just had a client retroactively denied coverage going back to November...",
">\n\nRETROACTIVELY denied?!?? That sounds so evil. :(",
">\n\nInsurance in general is evil :/",
">\n\nBy that, student debt cancellation won’t be a thing.",
">\n\nIsn't the loan repayment pause dependent on the covid emergency declaration as well?",
">\n\nYes. So are the guaranteed sick days, vaccines, medications, hospital stays etc. This will only affect people who are poor and sick. It's not about masks which everyone is pretending. It's about the financial help for the poor and disabled that is being taken away and that's what people are celebrating today.",
">\n\nAlso insurance is more inclined to stamp APPROVED on a lot of the things that are used in bad bouts of COVID. Mostly because the Government has been helping cover some of those costs.\nNow that this is going away, I can assure anyone who gets a bad bout of COVID, your insurance is going to be breaking out the DENIED stamp a lot more often.\nSome of the worse bouts of COVID are six or seven figures. Maybe knock one or two of those digits off with insurance helped by the Government. With this ending, a lot of people are going to be on the hook for that bill now.\nMaybe this is what it takes for people to start treating this pandemic seriously? Million dollar medical bills that will haunt them the rest of their lives. I mean, we're still shedding about 200+ some people a day to COVID. That's ~73k a year. That's twice as many people who die in car wrecks annually and about 20% the rate of people who die from heart disease. That puts it in a firm third place for cause of death in the US.",
">\n\n500+ people a day in the US right now",
">\n\nI mean thank god for those 2 checks we got to help us survive 3 years",
">\n\nAnd then the record inflation, I know they weren't directly related but it made the checks even more meaningless in the long run.",
">\n\nI wonder how this will impact things like loan forgiveness in the courts, which relied on the emergency declaration to get authorization. I have a feeling SCOTUS will give a legally dubious \"it was valid at the time of the order but now the declaration is rescinded, so it would be irrelevant by the time we'd let you do it anyway.\" Thus they don't have to actually decide on whether it was legal and just skip to the boot. They used similar reasoning in other laws they've tossed down in the last decade or so.\nUntil now I thought they were going to toss it down on the basis that \"COVID isn't a big deal anymore,\" and just ignore the emergency declaration - they also used that reasoning in another COVID-related case recently (Gorsuch stood with liberals in opposing that opinion if I recall correctly).",
">\n\nThey specifically put in dates in June for the deadline I believe",
">\n\nWell, they ALSO chose a stock photo of people actually WEARING MASKS!!!",
">\n\nAnd a PornHub baseball cap",
">\n\nThis has real early war on terror \"mission accomplished\" vibes to it.",
">\n\nSince literally before the disaster even began in earnest in America, that's been the message. No wonder we're at 1.1 million deaths and tens of millions with permanent disabilities.",
">\n\npsst: we're also the most obese nation by far, which is a super big risk factor for severe Covid.",
">\n\nI can't read the article but being a caregiver for 2 high risk people, my life won't change. I didn't know there were still protocols in place.",
">\n\nYeah I have family members who have had organ transplants. Zero immune system, produce zero antibodies when vaccinated multiple times. Evushield was pulled because it's not effective. And people don't get it, they act like we're freaks wearing masks still. I have been harassed in public, I was 9 mo pregnant and a man kept banging on my car screaming at me to take off my mask. So I am worried that the state of emergency being changed will just make things worse in terms of respecting people still needing to be careful. I just wish the government cared a little more about the immune compromised, or even just pretended to care.",
">\n\n\nI just wish the government cared a little more about the immune compromised, or even just pretended to care.\n\nThey don't, we have objective evidence they do not now. Anyone in this situation, or caring for someone in this situation is on their own. \nWestern Society has really revealed itself to be an uncaring and selfish construct of humanity through this.",
">\n\nYeah it's really sad, it bothers me how anyone vulnerable is just thrown to the side like they don't matter. It's always been this way here. Look how a lot of nursing homes function.",
">\n\n\nIt's always been this way here.\n\nThis is the personal revelation I have gone through with this. It's not something new, I just didn't understand where we were at, and now that I do, I can't unsee it. \nIt kind of reminds me of Logans run, how everyone was killed off young and didn't really get a chance to understand the reality of their situation. The young and healthy are rarely if ever going to interface with the systems we have in place that are like this, except in extraordinary situations like this one.",
">\n\nNo I'm in a similar boat. I never realized it until very recently, and it's hard to come to terms with. I hope for change but with the current mentality of parents are evil and everyone over 50 is a crazy Trumper, and then no one caring about babies getting sick or people with cancer or pregnant people or organ recipients, i worry it'll get worse before it gets better. Especially with social media breeding such a self centered perspective on life and a sense of self importance. I wonder if it's this way in other countries too or just the US.",
">\n\nIt absolutely is the same way in other countries. It may look a little different, but people have definitely reacted the same way, at least from a logical perspective. \nLook at the Canadian trucker situation, and the Swedish approach to COVID from the start, Q-anon inspired would-be coupers in Germany, etc... \nI don't know how we collectively dig ourselves out of this, but the focus of my life moving forward it to spend what energy and time I have left on this earth trying to figure out what I can do to help move us in that direction. \nWhat I do know is that this is not the way to do things. \nI'm glad you've engaged here, it's always nice to know that there are others out there who are paying attention to things and actually have empathy.",
">\n\nDefinitely, it's been nice chatting with you too. I'm trying to make a difference too, starting within my family while my kids are little and my parents need help, and hopefully finding a way to contribute to change in society too. Take care, stay healthy.",
">\n\nFuck. There goes my Medicaid"
] |
>
If you make over a certain amount of income (in California I think the cutoff is 19K/yr - not sure if it’s different elsewhere) then you don’t qualify for Medicaid, but they’ve been keeping people on their plan during the pandemic regardless. My understanding is that after May 11th, they will no longer provide coverage for folks who don’t technically qualify. | [
"Of all the stock photos of people wearing masks they could choose from, they pick the one with a guy wearing a Porn Hub hat.",
">\n\nNow let’s ask why the fuck he’s wearing a pornhub hat lol. When I leave the house I might put on a Duluth Trading Company hat, that’s a brand I like. Or a University of Wisconsin hat, a school I support. But this guy loves jerking off so much that he wears clothing repping his favorite porn site. You’ve got no choice but to respect that honestly.",
">\n\nOr maybe it is just a spinoff parody hat. Like he is a farmer and it says \"CornBub\".",
">\n\nCorn does have the juice.",
">\n\nI can't imagine a more beautiful thing!",
">\n\nCool now do the ones put in place after 9/11",
">\n\nwill people get dropped from medicaid because of this?",
">\n\nYes, at least where I am they ceased ALL negative actions and renewals for medicaid, while it was still declared an ongoing public health crisis.",
">\n\nThey stopped those protections a while ago here. I just had a client retroactively denied coverage going back to November...",
">\n\nRETROACTIVELY denied?!?? That sounds so evil. :(",
">\n\nInsurance in general is evil :/",
">\n\nBy that, student debt cancellation won’t be a thing.",
">\n\nIsn't the loan repayment pause dependent on the covid emergency declaration as well?",
">\n\nYes. So are the guaranteed sick days, vaccines, medications, hospital stays etc. This will only affect people who are poor and sick. It's not about masks which everyone is pretending. It's about the financial help for the poor and disabled that is being taken away and that's what people are celebrating today.",
">\n\nAlso insurance is more inclined to stamp APPROVED on a lot of the things that are used in bad bouts of COVID. Mostly because the Government has been helping cover some of those costs.\nNow that this is going away, I can assure anyone who gets a bad bout of COVID, your insurance is going to be breaking out the DENIED stamp a lot more often.\nSome of the worse bouts of COVID are six or seven figures. Maybe knock one or two of those digits off with insurance helped by the Government. With this ending, a lot of people are going to be on the hook for that bill now.\nMaybe this is what it takes for people to start treating this pandemic seriously? Million dollar medical bills that will haunt them the rest of their lives. I mean, we're still shedding about 200+ some people a day to COVID. That's ~73k a year. That's twice as many people who die in car wrecks annually and about 20% the rate of people who die from heart disease. That puts it in a firm third place for cause of death in the US.",
">\n\n500+ people a day in the US right now",
">\n\nI mean thank god for those 2 checks we got to help us survive 3 years",
">\n\nAnd then the record inflation, I know they weren't directly related but it made the checks even more meaningless in the long run.",
">\n\nI wonder how this will impact things like loan forgiveness in the courts, which relied on the emergency declaration to get authorization. I have a feeling SCOTUS will give a legally dubious \"it was valid at the time of the order but now the declaration is rescinded, so it would be irrelevant by the time we'd let you do it anyway.\" Thus they don't have to actually decide on whether it was legal and just skip to the boot. They used similar reasoning in other laws they've tossed down in the last decade or so.\nUntil now I thought they were going to toss it down on the basis that \"COVID isn't a big deal anymore,\" and just ignore the emergency declaration - they also used that reasoning in another COVID-related case recently (Gorsuch stood with liberals in opposing that opinion if I recall correctly).",
">\n\nThey specifically put in dates in June for the deadline I believe",
">\n\nWell, they ALSO chose a stock photo of people actually WEARING MASKS!!!",
">\n\nAnd a PornHub baseball cap",
">\n\nThis has real early war on terror \"mission accomplished\" vibes to it.",
">\n\nSince literally before the disaster even began in earnest in America, that's been the message. No wonder we're at 1.1 million deaths and tens of millions with permanent disabilities.",
">\n\npsst: we're also the most obese nation by far, which is a super big risk factor for severe Covid.",
">\n\nI can't read the article but being a caregiver for 2 high risk people, my life won't change. I didn't know there were still protocols in place.",
">\n\nYeah I have family members who have had organ transplants. Zero immune system, produce zero antibodies when vaccinated multiple times. Evushield was pulled because it's not effective. And people don't get it, they act like we're freaks wearing masks still. I have been harassed in public, I was 9 mo pregnant and a man kept banging on my car screaming at me to take off my mask. So I am worried that the state of emergency being changed will just make things worse in terms of respecting people still needing to be careful. I just wish the government cared a little more about the immune compromised, or even just pretended to care.",
">\n\n\nI just wish the government cared a little more about the immune compromised, or even just pretended to care.\n\nThey don't, we have objective evidence they do not now. Anyone in this situation, or caring for someone in this situation is on their own. \nWestern Society has really revealed itself to be an uncaring and selfish construct of humanity through this.",
">\n\nYeah it's really sad, it bothers me how anyone vulnerable is just thrown to the side like they don't matter. It's always been this way here. Look how a lot of nursing homes function.",
">\n\n\nIt's always been this way here.\n\nThis is the personal revelation I have gone through with this. It's not something new, I just didn't understand where we were at, and now that I do, I can't unsee it. \nIt kind of reminds me of Logans run, how everyone was killed off young and didn't really get a chance to understand the reality of their situation. The young and healthy are rarely if ever going to interface with the systems we have in place that are like this, except in extraordinary situations like this one.",
">\n\nNo I'm in a similar boat. I never realized it until very recently, and it's hard to come to terms with. I hope for change but with the current mentality of parents are evil and everyone over 50 is a crazy Trumper, and then no one caring about babies getting sick or people with cancer or pregnant people or organ recipients, i worry it'll get worse before it gets better. Especially with social media breeding such a self centered perspective on life and a sense of self importance. I wonder if it's this way in other countries too or just the US.",
">\n\nIt absolutely is the same way in other countries. It may look a little different, but people have definitely reacted the same way, at least from a logical perspective. \nLook at the Canadian trucker situation, and the Swedish approach to COVID from the start, Q-anon inspired would-be coupers in Germany, etc... \nI don't know how we collectively dig ourselves out of this, but the focus of my life moving forward it to spend what energy and time I have left on this earth trying to figure out what I can do to help move us in that direction. \nWhat I do know is that this is not the way to do things. \nI'm glad you've engaged here, it's always nice to know that there are others out there who are paying attention to things and actually have empathy.",
">\n\nDefinitely, it's been nice chatting with you too. I'm trying to make a difference too, starting within my family while my kids are little and my parents need help, and hopefully finding a way to contribute to change in society too. Take care, stay healthy.",
">\n\nFuck. There goes my Medicaid",
">\n\nAs a student who just got on Medicaid end of last year, could you explain to me why you will lose it? Did you qualify for it during covid but no longer qualify for it now? And with the end of the emergency declarations, it won’t be extended to you?"
] |
>
1.1 million people unavailable for comment due to unspecified illness | [
"Of all the stock photos of people wearing masks they could choose from, they pick the one with a guy wearing a Porn Hub hat.",
">\n\nNow let’s ask why the fuck he’s wearing a pornhub hat lol. When I leave the house I might put on a Duluth Trading Company hat, that’s a brand I like. Or a University of Wisconsin hat, a school I support. But this guy loves jerking off so much that he wears clothing repping his favorite porn site. You’ve got no choice but to respect that honestly.",
">\n\nOr maybe it is just a spinoff parody hat. Like he is a farmer and it says \"CornBub\".",
">\n\nCorn does have the juice.",
">\n\nI can't imagine a more beautiful thing!",
">\n\nCool now do the ones put in place after 9/11",
">\n\nwill people get dropped from medicaid because of this?",
">\n\nYes, at least where I am they ceased ALL negative actions and renewals for medicaid, while it was still declared an ongoing public health crisis.",
">\n\nThey stopped those protections a while ago here. I just had a client retroactively denied coverage going back to November...",
">\n\nRETROACTIVELY denied?!?? That sounds so evil. :(",
">\n\nInsurance in general is evil :/",
">\n\nBy that, student debt cancellation won’t be a thing.",
">\n\nIsn't the loan repayment pause dependent on the covid emergency declaration as well?",
">\n\nYes. So are the guaranteed sick days, vaccines, medications, hospital stays etc. This will only affect people who are poor and sick. It's not about masks which everyone is pretending. It's about the financial help for the poor and disabled that is being taken away and that's what people are celebrating today.",
">\n\nAlso insurance is more inclined to stamp APPROVED on a lot of the things that are used in bad bouts of COVID. Mostly because the Government has been helping cover some of those costs.\nNow that this is going away, I can assure anyone who gets a bad bout of COVID, your insurance is going to be breaking out the DENIED stamp a lot more often.\nSome of the worse bouts of COVID are six or seven figures. Maybe knock one or two of those digits off with insurance helped by the Government. With this ending, a lot of people are going to be on the hook for that bill now.\nMaybe this is what it takes for people to start treating this pandemic seriously? Million dollar medical bills that will haunt them the rest of their lives. I mean, we're still shedding about 200+ some people a day to COVID. That's ~73k a year. That's twice as many people who die in car wrecks annually and about 20% the rate of people who die from heart disease. That puts it in a firm third place for cause of death in the US.",
">\n\n500+ people a day in the US right now",
">\n\nI mean thank god for those 2 checks we got to help us survive 3 years",
">\n\nAnd then the record inflation, I know they weren't directly related but it made the checks even more meaningless in the long run.",
">\n\nI wonder how this will impact things like loan forgiveness in the courts, which relied on the emergency declaration to get authorization. I have a feeling SCOTUS will give a legally dubious \"it was valid at the time of the order but now the declaration is rescinded, so it would be irrelevant by the time we'd let you do it anyway.\" Thus they don't have to actually decide on whether it was legal and just skip to the boot. They used similar reasoning in other laws they've tossed down in the last decade or so.\nUntil now I thought they were going to toss it down on the basis that \"COVID isn't a big deal anymore,\" and just ignore the emergency declaration - they also used that reasoning in another COVID-related case recently (Gorsuch stood with liberals in opposing that opinion if I recall correctly).",
">\n\nThey specifically put in dates in June for the deadline I believe",
">\n\nWell, they ALSO chose a stock photo of people actually WEARING MASKS!!!",
">\n\nAnd a PornHub baseball cap",
">\n\nThis has real early war on terror \"mission accomplished\" vibes to it.",
">\n\nSince literally before the disaster even began in earnest in America, that's been the message. No wonder we're at 1.1 million deaths and tens of millions with permanent disabilities.",
">\n\npsst: we're also the most obese nation by far, which is a super big risk factor for severe Covid.",
">\n\nI can't read the article but being a caregiver for 2 high risk people, my life won't change. I didn't know there were still protocols in place.",
">\n\nYeah I have family members who have had organ transplants. Zero immune system, produce zero antibodies when vaccinated multiple times. Evushield was pulled because it's not effective. And people don't get it, they act like we're freaks wearing masks still. I have been harassed in public, I was 9 mo pregnant and a man kept banging on my car screaming at me to take off my mask. So I am worried that the state of emergency being changed will just make things worse in terms of respecting people still needing to be careful. I just wish the government cared a little more about the immune compromised, or even just pretended to care.",
">\n\n\nI just wish the government cared a little more about the immune compromised, or even just pretended to care.\n\nThey don't, we have objective evidence they do not now. Anyone in this situation, or caring for someone in this situation is on their own. \nWestern Society has really revealed itself to be an uncaring and selfish construct of humanity through this.",
">\n\nYeah it's really sad, it bothers me how anyone vulnerable is just thrown to the side like they don't matter. It's always been this way here. Look how a lot of nursing homes function.",
">\n\n\nIt's always been this way here.\n\nThis is the personal revelation I have gone through with this. It's not something new, I just didn't understand where we were at, and now that I do, I can't unsee it. \nIt kind of reminds me of Logans run, how everyone was killed off young and didn't really get a chance to understand the reality of their situation. The young and healthy are rarely if ever going to interface with the systems we have in place that are like this, except in extraordinary situations like this one.",
">\n\nNo I'm in a similar boat. I never realized it until very recently, and it's hard to come to terms with. I hope for change but with the current mentality of parents are evil and everyone over 50 is a crazy Trumper, and then no one caring about babies getting sick or people with cancer or pregnant people or organ recipients, i worry it'll get worse before it gets better. Especially with social media breeding such a self centered perspective on life and a sense of self importance. I wonder if it's this way in other countries too or just the US.",
">\n\nIt absolutely is the same way in other countries. It may look a little different, but people have definitely reacted the same way, at least from a logical perspective. \nLook at the Canadian trucker situation, and the Swedish approach to COVID from the start, Q-anon inspired would-be coupers in Germany, etc... \nI don't know how we collectively dig ourselves out of this, but the focus of my life moving forward it to spend what energy and time I have left on this earth trying to figure out what I can do to help move us in that direction. \nWhat I do know is that this is not the way to do things. \nI'm glad you've engaged here, it's always nice to know that there are others out there who are paying attention to things and actually have empathy.",
">\n\nDefinitely, it's been nice chatting with you too. I'm trying to make a difference too, starting within my family while my kids are little and my parents need help, and hopefully finding a way to contribute to change in society too. Take care, stay healthy.",
">\n\nFuck. There goes my Medicaid",
">\n\nAs a student who just got on Medicaid end of last year, could you explain to me why you will lose it? Did you qualify for it during covid but no longer qualify for it now? And with the end of the emergency declarations, it won’t be extended to you?",
">\n\nIf you make over a certain amount of income (in California I think the cutoff is 19K/yr - not sure if it’s different elsewhere) then you don’t qualify for Medicaid, but they’ve been keeping people on their plan during the pandemic regardless. My understanding is that after May 11th, they will no longer provide coverage for folks who don’t technically qualify."
] |
>
That's for the world. The 1.1 million for the US is probably fairly close, as opposed to say India where the excess deaths are about 10x the reported COVID deaths. | [
"Of all the stock photos of people wearing masks they could choose from, they pick the one with a guy wearing a Porn Hub hat.",
">\n\nNow let’s ask why the fuck he’s wearing a pornhub hat lol. When I leave the house I might put on a Duluth Trading Company hat, that’s a brand I like. Or a University of Wisconsin hat, a school I support. But this guy loves jerking off so much that he wears clothing repping his favorite porn site. You’ve got no choice but to respect that honestly.",
">\n\nOr maybe it is just a spinoff parody hat. Like he is a farmer and it says \"CornBub\".",
">\n\nCorn does have the juice.",
">\n\nI can't imagine a more beautiful thing!",
">\n\nCool now do the ones put in place after 9/11",
">\n\nwill people get dropped from medicaid because of this?",
">\n\nYes, at least where I am they ceased ALL negative actions and renewals for medicaid, while it was still declared an ongoing public health crisis.",
">\n\nThey stopped those protections a while ago here. I just had a client retroactively denied coverage going back to November...",
">\n\nRETROACTIVELY denied?!?? That sounds so evil. :(",
">\n\nInsurance in general is evil :/",
">\n\nBy that, student debt cancellation won’t be a thing.",
">\n\nIsn't the loan repayment pause dependent on the covid emergency declaration as well?",
">\n\nYes. So are the guaranteed sick days, vaccines, medications, hospital stays etc. This will only affect people who are poor and sick. It's not about masks which everyone is pretending. It's about the financial help for the poor and disabled that is being taken away and that's what people are celebrating today.",
">\n\nAlso insurance is more inclined to stamp APPROVED on a lot of the things that are used in bad bouts of COVID. Mostly because the Government has been helping cover some of those costs.\nNow that this is going away, I can assure anyone who gets a bad bout of COVID, your insurance is going to be breaking out the DENIED stamp a lot more often.\nSome of the worse bouts of COVID are six or seven figures. Maybe knock one or two of those digits off with insurance helped by the Government. With this ending, a lot of people are going to be on the hook for that bill now.\nMaybe this is what it takes for people to start treating this pandemic seriously? Million dollar medical bills that will haunt them the rest of their lives. I mean, we're still shedding about 200+ some people a day to COVID. That's ~73k a year. That's twice as many people who die in car wrecks annually and about 20% the rate of people who die from heart disease. That puts it in a firm third place for cause of death in the US.",
">\n\n500+ people a day in the US right now",
">\n\nI mean thank god for those 2 checks we got to help us survive 3 years",
">\n\nAnd then the record inflation, I know they weren't directly related but it made the checks even more meaningless in the long run.",
">\n\nI wonder how this will impact things like loan forgiveness in the courts, which relied on the emergency declaration to get authorization. I have a feeling SCOTUS will give a legally dubious \"it was valid at the time of the order but now the declaration is rescinded, so it would be irrelevant by the time we'd let you do it anyway.\" Thus they don't have to actually decide on whether it was legal and just skip to the boot. They used similar reasoning in other laws they've tossed down in the last decade or so.\nUntil now I thought they were going to toss it down on the basis that \"COVID isn't a big deal anymore,\" and just ignore the emergency declaration - they also used that reasoning in another COVID-related case recently (Gorsuch stood with liberals in opposing that opinion if I recall correctly).",
">\n\nThey specifically put in dates in June for the deadline I believe",
">\n\nWell, they ALSO chose a stock photo of people actually WEARING MASKS!!!",
">\n\nAnd a PornHub baseball cap",
">\n\nThis has real early war on terror \"mission accomplished\" vibes to it.",
">\n\nSince literally before the disaster even began in earnest in America, that's been the message. No wonder we're at 1.1 million deaths and tens of millions with permanent disabilities.",
">\n\npsst: we're also the most obese nation by far, which is a super big risk factor for severe Covid.",
">\n\nI can't read the article but being a caregiver for 2 high risk people, my life won't change. I didn't know there were still protocols in place.",
">\n\nYeah I have family members who have had organ transplants. Zero immune system, produce zero antibodies when vaccinated multiple times. Evushield was pulled because it's not effective. And people don't get it, they act like we're freaks wearing masks still. I have been harassed in public, I was 9 mo pregnant and a man kept banging on my car screaming at me to take off my mask. So I am worried that the state of emergency being changed will just make things worse in terms of respecting people still needing to be careful. I just wish the government cared a little more about the immune compromised, or even just pretended to care.",
">\n\n\nI just wish the government cared a little more about the immune compromised, or even just pretended to care.\n\nThey don't, we have objective evidence they do not now. Anyone in this situation, or caring for someone in this situation is on their own. \nWestern Society has really revealed itself to be an uncaring and selfish construct of humanity through this.",
">\n\nYeah it's really sad, it bothers me how anyone vulnerable is just thrown to the side like they don't matter. It's always been this way here. Look how a lot of nursing homes function.",
">\n\n\nIt's always been this way here.\n\nThis is the personal revelation I have gone through with this. It's not something new, I just didn't understand where we were at, and now that I do, I can't unsee it. \nIt kind of reminds me of Logans run, how everyone was killed off young and didn't really get a chance to understand the reality of their situation. The young and healthy are rarely if ever going to interface with the systems we have in place that are like this, except in extraordinary situations like this one.",
">\n\nNo I'm in a similar boat. I never realized it until very recently, and it's hard to come to terms with. I hope for change but with the current mentality of parents are evil and everyone over 50 is a crazy Trumper, and then no one caring about babies getting sick or people with cancer or pregnant people or organ recipients, i worry it'll get worse before it gets better. Especially with social media breeding such a self centered perspective on life and a sense of self importance. I wonder if it's this way in other countries too or just the US.",
">\n\nIt absolutely is the same way in other countries. It may look a little different, but people have definitely reacted the same way, at least from a logical perspective. \nLook at the Canadian trucker situation, and the Swedish approach to COVID from the start, Q-anon inspired would-be coupers in Germany, etc... \nI don't know how we collectively dig ourselves out of this, but the focus of my life moving forward it to spend what energy and time I have left on this earth trying to figure out what I can do to help move us in that direction. \nWhat I do know is that this is not the way to do things. \nI'm glad you've engaged here, it's always nice to know that there are others out there who are paying attention to things and actually have empathy.",
">\n\nDefinitely, it's been nice chatting with you too. I'm trying to make a difference too, starting within my family while my kids are little and my parents need help, and hopefully finding a way to contribute to change in society too. Take care, stay healthy.",
">\n\nFuck. There goes my Medicaid",
">\n\nAs a student who just got on Medicaid end of last year, could you explain to me why you will lose it? Did you qualify for it during covid but no longer qualify for it now? And with the end of the emergency declarations, it won’t be extended to you?",
">\n\nIf you make over a certain amount of income (in California I think the cutoff is 19K/yr - not sure if it’s different elsewhere) then you don’t qualify for Medicaid, but they’ve been keeping people on their plan during the pandemic regardless. My understanding is that after May 11th, they will no longer provide coverage for folks who don’t technically qualify.",
">\n\n1.1 million people unavailable for comment due to unspecified illness"
] |
>
I think the US count is still off by hundreds of thousands if you look at excess mortality. | [
"Of all the stock photos of people wearing masks they could choose from, they pick the one with a guy wearing a Porn Hub hat.",
">\n\nNow let’s ask why the fuck he’s wearing a pornhub hat lol. When I leave the house I might put on a Duluth Trading Company hat, that’s a brand I like. Or a University of Wisconsin hat, a school I support. But this guy loves jerking off so much that he wears clothing repping his favorite porn site. You’ve got no choice but to respect that honestly.",
">\n\nOr maybe it is just a spinoff parody hat. Like he is a farmer and it says \"CornBub\".",
">\n\nCorn does have the juice.",
">\n\nI can't imagine a more beautiful thing!",
">\n\nCool now do the ones put in place after 9/11",
">\n\nwill people get dropped from medicaid because of this?",
">\n\nYes, at least where I am they ceased ALL negative actions and renewals for medicaid, while it was still declared an ongoing public health crisis.",
">\n\nThey stopped those protections a while ago here. I just had a client retroactively denied coverage going back to November...",
">\n\nRETROACTIVELY denied?!?? That sounds so evil. :(",
">\n\nInsurance in general is evil :/",
">\n\nBy that, student debt cancellation won’t be a thing.",
">\n\nIsn't the loan repayment pause dependent on the covid emergency declaration as well?",
">\n\nYes. So are the guaranteed sick days, vaccines, medications, hospital stays etc. This will only affect people who are poor and sick. It's not about masks which everyone is pretending. It's about the financial help for the poor and disabled that is being taken away and that's what people are celebrating today.",
">\n\nAlso insurance is more inclined to stamp APPROVED on a lot of the things that are used in bad bouts of COVID. Mostly because the Government has been helping cover some of those costs.\nNow that this is going away, I can assure anyone who gets a bad bout of COVID, your insurance is going to be breaking out the DENIED stamp a lot more often.\nSome of the worse bouts of COVID are six or seven figures. Maybe knock one or two of those digits off with insurance helped by the Government. With this ending, a lot of people are going to be on the hook for that bill now.\nMaybe this is what it takes for people to start treating this pandemic seriously? Million dollar medical bills that will haunt them the rest of their lives. I mean, we're still shedding about 200+ some people a day to COVID. That's ~73k a year. That's twice as many people who die in car wrecks annually and about 20% the rate of people who die from heart disease. That puts it in a firm third place for cause of death in the US.",
">\n\n500+ people a day in the US right now",
">\n\nI mean thank god for those 2 checks we got to help us survive 3 years",
">\n\nAnd then the record inflation, I know they weren't directly related but it made the checks even more meaningless in the long run.",
">\n\nI wonder how this will impact things like loan forgiveness in the courts, which relied on the emergency declaration to get authorization. I have a feeling SCOTUS will give a legally dubious \"it was valid at the time of the order but now the declaration is rescinded, so it would be irrelevant by the time we'd let you do it anyway.\" Thus they don't have to actually decide on whether it was legal and just skip to the boot. They used similar reasoning in other laws they've tossed down in the last decade or so.\nUntil now I thought they were going to toss it down on the basis that \"COVID isn't a big deal anymore,\" and just ignore the emergency declaration - they also used that reasoning in another COVID-related case recently (Gorsuch stood with liberals in opposing that opinion if I recall correctly).",
">\n\nThey specifically put in dates in June for the deadline I believe",
">\n\nWell, they ALSO chose a stock photo of people actually WEARING MASKS!!!",
">\n\nAnd a PornHub baseball cap",
">\n\nThis has real early war on terror \"mission accomplished\" vibes to it.",
">\n\nSince literally before the disaster even began in earnest in America, that's been the message. No wonder we're at 1.1 million deaths and tens of millions with permanent disabilities.",
">\n\npsst: we're also the most obese nation by far, which is a super big risk factor for severe Covid.",
">\n\nI can't read the article but being a caregiver for 2 high risk people, my life won't change. I didn't know there were still protocols in place.",
">\n\nYeah I have family members who have had organ transplants. Zero immune system, produce zero antibodies when vaccinated multiple times. Evushield was pulled because it's not effective. And people don't get it, they act like we're freaks wearing masks still. I have been harassed in public, I was 9 mo pregnant and a man kept banging on my car screaming at me to take off my mask. So I am worried that the state of emergency being changed will just make things worse in terms of respecting people still needing to be careful. I just wish the government cared a little more about the immune compromised, or even just pretended to care.",
">\n\n\nI just wish the government cared a little more about the immune compromised, or even just pretended to care.\n\nThey don't, we have objective evidence they do not now. Anyone in this situation, or caring for someone in this situation is on their own. \nWestern Society has really revealed itself to be an uncaring and selfish construct of humanity through this.",
">\n\nYeah it's really sad, it bothers me how anyone vulnerable is just thrown to the side like they don't matter. It's always been this way here. Look how a lot of nursing homes function.",
">\n\n\nIt's always been this way here.\n\nThis is the personal revelation I have gone through with this. It's not something new, I just didn't understand where we were at, and now that I do, I can't unsee it. \nIt kind of reminds me of Logans run, how everyone was killed off young and didn't really get a chance to understand the reality of their situation. The young and healthy are rarely if ever going to interface with the systems we have in place that are like this, except in extraordinary situations like this one.",
">\n\nNo I'm in a similar boat. I never realized it until very recently, and it's hard to come to terms with. I hope for change but with the current mentality of parents are evil and everyone over 50 is a crazy Trumper, and then no one caring about babies getting sick or people with cancer or pregnant people or organ recipients, i worry it'll get worse before it gets better. Especially with social media breeding such a self centered perspective on life and a sense of self importance. I wonder if it's this way in other countries too or just the US.",
">\n\nIt absolutely is the same way in other countries. It may look a little different, but people have definitely reacted the same way, at least from a logical perspective. \nLook at the Canadian trucker situation, and the Swedish approach to COVID from the start, Q-anon inspired would-be coupers in Germany, etc... \nI don't know how we collectively dig ourselves out of this, but the focus of my life moving forward it to spend what energy and time I have left on this earth trying to figure out what I can do to help move us in that direction. \nWhat I do know is that this is not the way to do things. \nI'm glad you've engaged here, it's always nice to know that there are others out there who are paying attention to things and actually have empathy.",
">\n\nDefinitely, it's been nice chatting with you too. I'm trying to make a difference too, starting within my family while my kids are little and my parents need help, and hopefully finding a way to contribute to change in society too. Take care, stay healthy.",
">\n\nFuck. There goes my Medicaid",
">\n\nAs a student who just got on Medicaid end of last year, could you explain to me why you will lose it? Did you qualify for it during covid but no longer qualify for it now? And with the end of the emergency declarations, it won’t be extended to you?",
">\n\nIf you make over a certain amount of income (in California I think the cutoff is 19K/yr - not sure if it’s different elsewhere) then you don’t qualify for Medicaid, but they’ve been keeping people on their plan during the pandemic regardless. My understanding is that after May 11th, they will no longer provide coverage for folks who don’t technically qualify.",
">\n\n1.1 million people unavailable for comment due to unspecified illness",
">\n\nThat's for the world. The 1.1 million for the US is probably fairly close, as opposed to say India where the excess deaths are about 10x the reported COVID deaths."
] |
>
millions - it doesn't take into account just how many people are living off the counts | [
"Of all the stock photos of people wearing masks they could choose from, they pick the one with a guy wearing a Porn Hub hat.",
">\n\nNow let’s ask why the fuck he’s wearing a pornhub hat lol. When I leave the house I might put on a Duluth Trading Company hat, that’s a brand I like. Or a University of Wisconsin hat, a school I support. But this guy loves jerking off so much that he wears clothing repping his favorite porn site. You’ve got no choice but to respect that honestly.",
">\n\nOr maybe it is just a spinoff parody hat. Like he is a farmer and it says \"CornBub\".",
">\n\nCorn does have the juice.",
">\n\nI can't imagine a more beautiful thing!",
">\n\nCool now do the ones put in place after 9/11",
">\n\nwill people get dropped from medicaid because of this?",
">\n\nYes, at least where I am they ceased ALL negative actions and renewals for medicaid, while it was still declared an ongoing public health crisis.",
">\n\nThey stopped those protections a while ago here. I just had a client retroactively denied coverage going back to November...",
">\n\nRETROACTIVELY denied?!?? That sounds so evil. :(",
">\n\nInsurance in general is evil :/",
">\n\nBy that, student debt cancellation won’t be a thing.",
">\n\nIsn't the loan repayment pause dependent on the covid emergency declaration as well?",
">\n\nYes. So are the guaranteed sick days, vaccines, medications, hospital stays etc. This will only affect people who are poor and sick. It's not about masks which everyone is pretending. It's about the financial help for the poor and disabled that is being taken away and that's what people are celebrating today.",
">\n\nAlso insurance is more inclined to stamp APPROVED on a lot of the things that are used in bad bouts of COVID. Mostly because the Government has been helping cover some of those costs.\nNow that this is going away, I can assure anyone who gets a bad bout of COVID, your insurance is going to be breaking out the DENIED stamp a lot more often.\nSome of the worse bouts of COVID are six or seven figures. Maybe knock one or two of those digits off with insurance helped by the Government. With this ending, a lot of people are going to be on the hook for that bill now.\nMaybe this is what it takes for people to start treating this pandemic seriously? Million dollar medical bills that will haunt them the rest of their lives. I mean, we're still shedding about 200+ some people a day to COVID. That's ~73k a year. That's twice as many people who die in car wrecks annually and about 20% the rate of people who die from heart disease. That puts it in a firm third place for cause of death in the US.",
">\n\n500+ people a day in the US right now",
">\n\nI mean thank god for those 2 checks we got to help us survive 3 years",
">\n\nAnd then the record inflation, I know they weren't directly related but it made the checks even more meaningless in the long run.",
">\n\nI wonder how this will impact things like loan forgiveness in the courts, which relied on the emergency declaration to get authorization. I have a feeling SCOTUS will give a legally dubious \"it was valid at the time of the order but now the declaration is rescinded, so it would be irrelevant by the time we'd let you do it anyway.\" Thus they don't have to actually decide on whether it was legal and just skip to the boot. They used similar reasoning in other laws they've tossed down in the last decade or so.\nUntil now I thought they were going to toss it down on the basis that \"COVID isn't a big deal anymore,\" and just ignore the emergency declaration - they also used that reasoning in another COVID-related case recently (Gorsuch stood with liberals in opposing that opinion if I recall correctly).",
">\n\nThey specifically put in dates in June for the deadline I believe",
">\n\nWell, they ALSO chose a stock photo of people actually WEARING MASKS!!!",
">\n\nAnd a PornHub baseball cap",
">\n\nThis has real early war on terror \"mission accomplished\" vibes to it.",
">\n\nSince literally before the disaster even began in earnest in America, that's been the message. No wonder we're at 1.1 million deaths and tens of millions with permanent disabilities.",
">\n\npsst: we're also the most obese nation by far, which is a super big risk factor for severe Covid.",
">\n\nI can't read the article but being a caregiver for 2 high risk people, my life won't change. I didn't know there were still protocols in place.",
">\n\nYeah I have family members who have had organ transplants. Zero immune system, produce zero antibodies when vaccinated multiple times. Evushield was pulled because it's not effective. And people don't get it, they act like we're freaks wearing masks still. I have been harassed in public, I was 9 mo pregnant and a man kept banging on my car screaming at me to take off my mask. So I am worried that the state of emergency being changed will just make things worse in terms of respecting people still needing to be careful. I just wish the government cared a little more about the immune compromised, or even just pretended to care.",
">\n\n\nI just wish the government cared a little more about the immune compromised, or even just pretended to care.\n\nThey don't, we have objective evidence they do not now. Anyone in this situation, or caring for someone in this situation is on their own. \nWestern Society has really revealed itself to be an uncaring and selfish construct of humanity through this.",
">\n\nYeah it's really sad, it bothers me how anyone vulnerable is just thrown to the side like they don't matter. It's always been this way here. Look how a lot of nursing homes function.",
">\n\n\nIt's always been this way here.\n\nThis is the personal revelation I have gone through with this. It's not something new, I just didn't understand where we were at, and now that I do, I can't unsee it. \nIt kind of reminds me of Logans run, how everyone was killed off young and didn't really get a chance to understand the reality of their situation. The young and healthy are rarely if ever going to interface with the systems we have in place that are like this, except in extraordinary situations like this one.",
">\n\nNo I'm in a similar boat. I never realized it until very recently, and it's hard to come to terms with. I hope for change but with the current mentality of parents are evil and everyone over 50 is a crazy Trumper, and then no one caring about babies getting sick or people with cancer or pregnant people or organ recipients, i worry it'll get worse before it gets better. Especially with social media breeding such a self centered perspective on life and a sense of self importance. I wonder if it's this way in other countries too or just the US.",
">\n\nIt absolutely is the same way in other countries. It may look a little different, but people have definitely reacted the same way, at least from a logical perspective. \nLook at the Canadian trucker situation, and the Swedish approach to COVID from the start, Q-anon inspired would-be coupers in Germany, etc... \nI don't know how we collectively dig ourselves out of this, but the focus of my life moving forward it to spend what energy and time I have left on this earth trying to figure out what I can do to help move us in that direction. \nWhat I do know is that this is not the way to do things. \nI'm glad you've engaged here, it's always nice to know that there are others out there who are paying attention to things and actually have empathy.",
">\n\nDefinitely, it's been nice chatting with you too. I'm trying to make a difference too, starting within my family while my kids are little and my parents need help, and hopefully finding a way to contribute to change in society too. Take care, stay healthy.",
">\n\nFuck. There goes my Medicaid",
">\n\nAs a student who just got on Medicaid end of last year, could you explain to me why you will lose it? Did you qualify for it during covid but no longer qualify for it now? And with the end of the emergency declarations, it won’t be extended to you?",
">\n\nIf you make over a certain amount of income (in California I think the cutoff is 19K/yr - not sure if it’s different elsewhere) then you don’t qualify for Medicaid, but they’ve been keeping people on their plan during the pandemic regardless. My understanding is that after May 11th, they will no longer provide coverage for folks who don’t technically qualify.",
">\n\n1.1 million people unavailable for comment due to unspecified illness",
">\n\nThat's for the world. The 1.1 million for the US is probably fairly close, as opposed to say India where the excess deaths are about 10x the reported COVID deaths.",
">\n\nI think the US count is still off by hundreds of thousands if you look at excess mortality."
] |
>
Weird because that's my birthday.
Anyway, whoever reads this, I hope you have a good and prosperous 2023. | [
"Of all the stock photos of people wearing masks they could choose from, they pick the one with a guy wearing a Porn Hub hat.",
">\n\nNow let’s ask why the fuck he’s wearing a pornhub hat lol. When I leave the house I might put on a Duluth Trading Company hat, that’s a brand I like. Or a University of Wisconsin hat, a school I support. But this guy loves jerking off so much that he wears clothing repping his favorite porn site. You’ve got no choice but to respect that honestly.",
">\n\nOr maybe it is just a spinoff parody hat. Like he is a farmer and it says \"CornBub\".",
">\n\nCorn does have the juice.",
">\n\nI can't imagine a more beautiful thing!",
">\n\nCool now do the ones put in place after 9/11",
">\n\nwill people get dropped from medicaid because of this?",
">\n\nYes, at least where I am they ceased ALL negative actions and renewals for medicaid, while it was still declared an ongoing public health crisis.",
">\n\nThey stopped those protections a while ago here. I just had a client retroactively denied coverage going back to November...",
">\n\nRETROACTIVELY denied?!?? That sounds so evil. :(",
">\n\nInsurance in general is evil :/",
">\n\nBy that, student debt cancellation won’t be a thing.",
">\n\nIsn't the loan repayment pause dependent on the covid emergency declaration as well?",
">\n\nYes. So are the guaranteed sick days, vaccines, medications, hospital stays etc. This will only affect people who are poor and sick. It's not about masks which everyone is pretending. It's about the financial help for the poor and disabled that is being taken away and that's what people are celebrating today.",
">\n\nAlso insurance is more inclined to stamp APPROVED on a lot of the things that are used in bad bouts of COVID. Mostly because the Government has been helping cover some of those costs.\nNow that this is going away, I can assure anyone who gets a bad bout of COVID, your insurance is going to be breaking out the DENIED stamp a lot more often.\nSome of the worse bouts of COVID are six or seven figures. Maybe knock one or two of those digits off with insurance helped by the Government. With this ending, a lot of people are going to be on the hook for that bill now.\nMaybe this is what it takes for people to start treating this pandemic seriously? Million dollar medical bills that will haunt them the rest of their lives. I mean, we're still shedding about 200+ some people a day to COVID. That's ~73k a year. That's twice as many people who die in car wrecks annually and about 20% the rate of people who die from heart disease. That puts it in a firm third place for cause of death in the US.",
">\n\n500+ people a day in the US right now",
">\n\nI mean thank god for those 2 checks we got to help us survive 3 years",
">\n\nAnd then the record inflation, I know they weren't directly related but it made the checks even more meaningless in the long run.",
">\n\nI wonder how this will impact things like loan forgiveness in the courts, which relied on the emergency declaration to get authorization. I have a feeling SCOTUS will give a legally dubious \"it was valid at the time of the order but now the declaration is rescinded, so it would be irrelevant by the time we'd let you do it anyway.\" Thus they don't have to actually decide on whether it was legal and just skip to the boot. They used similar reasoning in other laws they've tossed down in the last decade or so.\nUntil now I thought they were going to toss it down on the basis that \"COVID isn't a big deal anymore,\" and just ignore the emergency declaration - they also used that reasoning in another COVID-related case recently (Gorsuch stood with liberals in opposing that opinion if I recall correctly).",
">\n\nThey specifically put in dates in June for the deadline I believe",
">\n\nWell, they ALSO chose a stock photo of people actually WEARING MASKS!!!",
">\n\nAnd a PornHub baseball cap",
">\n\nThis has real early war on terror \"mission accomplished\" vibes to it.",
">\n\nSince literally before the disaster even began in earnest in America, that's been the message. No wonder we're at 1.1 million deaths and tens of millions with permanent disabilities.",
">\n\npsst: we're also the most obese nation by far, which is a super big risk factor for severe Covid.",
">\n\nI can't read the article but being a caregiver for 2 high risk people, my life won't change. I didn't know there were still protocols in place.",
">\n\nYeah I have family members who have had organ transplants. Zero immune system, produce zero antibodies when vaccinated multiple times. Evushield was pulled because it's not effective. And people don't get it, they act like we're freaks wearing masks still. I have been harassed in public, I was 9 mo pregnant and a man kept banging on my car screaming at me to take off my mask. So I am worried that the state of emergency being changed will just make things worse in terms of respecting people still needing to be careful. I just wish the government cared a little more about the immune compromised, or even just pretended to care.",
">\n\n\nI just wish the government cared a little more about the immune compromised, or even just pretended to care.\n\nThey don't, we have objective evidence they do not now. Anyone in this situation, or caring for someone in this situation is on their own. \nWestern Society has really revealed itself to be an uncaring and selfish construct of humanity through this.",
">\n\nYeah it's really sad, it bothers me how anyone vulnerable is just thrown to the side like they don't matter. It's always been this way here. Look how a lot of nursing homes function.",
">\n\n\nIt's always been this way here.\n\nThis is the personal revelation I have gone through with this. It's not something new, I just didn't understand where we were at, and now that I do, I can't unsee it. \nIt kind of reminds me of Logans run, how everyone was killed off young and didn't really get a chance to understand the reality of their situation. The young and healthy are rarely if ever going to interface with the systems we have in place that are like this, except in extraordinary situations like this one.",
">\n\nNo I'm in a similar boat. I never realized it until very recently, and it's hard to come to terms with. I hope for change but with the current mentality of parents are evil and everyone over 50 is a crazy Trumper, and then no one caring about babies getting sick or people with cancer or pregnant people or organ recipients, i worry it'll get worse before it gets better. Especially with social media breeding such a self centered perspective on life and a sense of self importance. I wonder if it's this way in other countries too or just the US.",
">\n\nIt absolutely is the same way in other countries. It may look a little different, but people have definitely reacted the same way, at least from a logical perspective. \nLook at the Canadian trucker situation, and the Swedish approach to COVID from the start, Q-anon inspired would-be coupers in Germany, etc... \nI don't know how we collectively dig ourselves out of this, but the focus of my life moving forward it to spend what energy and time I have left on this earth trying to figure out what I can do to help move us in that direction. \nWhat I do know is that this is not the way to do things. \nI'm glad you've engaged here, it's always nice to know that there are others out there who are paying attention to things and actually have empathy.",
">\n\nDefinitely, it's been nice chatting with you too. I'm trying to make a difference too, starting within my family while my kids are little and my parents need help, and hopefully finding a way to contribute to change in society too. Take care, stay healthy.",
">\n\nFuck. There goes my Medicaid",
">\n\nAs a student who just got on Medicaid end of last year, could you explain to me why you will lose it? Did you qualify for it during covid but no longer qualify for it now? And with the end of the emergency declarations, it won’t be extended to you?",
">\n\nIf you make over a certain amount of income (in California I think the cutoff is 19K/yr - not sure if it’s different elsewhere) then you don’t qualify for Medicaid, but they’ve been keeping people on their plan during the pandemic regardless. My understanding is that after May 11th, they will no longer provide coverage for folks who don’t technically qualify.",
">\n\n1.1 million people unavailable for comment due to unspecified illness",
">\n\nThat's for the world. The 1.1 million for the US is probably fairly close, as opposed to say India where the excess deaths are about 10x the reported COVID deaths.",
">\n\nI think the US count is still off by hundreds of thousands if you look at excess mortality.",
">\n\nmillions - it doesn't take into account just how many people are living off the counts"
] |
>
Thank you so much! | [
"Of all the stock photos of people wearing masks they could choose from, they pick the one with a guy wearing a Porn Hub hat.",
">\n\nNow let’s ask why the fuck he’s wearing a pornhub hat lol. When I leave the house I might put on a Duluth Trading Company hat, that’s a brand I like. Or a University of Wisconsin hat, a school I support. But this guy loves jerking off so much that he wears clothing repping his favorite porn site. You’ve got no choice but to respect that honestly.",
">\n\nOr maybe it is just a spinoff parody hat. Like he is a farmer and it says \"CornBub\".",
">\n\nCorn does have the juice.",
">\n\nI can't imagine a more beautiful thing!",
">\n\nCool now do the ones put in place after 9/11",
">\n\nwill people get dropped from medicaid because of this?",
">\n\nYes, at least where I am they ceased ALL negative actions and renewals for medicaid, while it was still declared an ongoing public health crisis.",
">\n\nThey stopped those protections a while ago here. I just had a client retroactively denied coverage going back to November...",
">\n\nRETROACTIVELY denied?!?? That sounds so evil. :(",
">\n\nInsurance in general is evil :/",
">\n\nBy that, student debt cancellation won’t be a thing.",
">\n\nIsn't the loan repayment pause dependent on the covid emergency declaration as well?",
">\n\nYes. So are the guaranteed sick days, vaccines, medications, hospital stays etc. This will only affect people who are poor and sick. It's not about masks which everyone is pretending. It's about the financial help for the poor and disabled that is being taken away and that's what people are celebrating today.",
">\n\nAlso insurance is more inclined to stamp APPROVED on a lot of the things that are used in bad bouts of COVID. Mostly because the Government has been helping cover some of those costs.\nNow that this is going away, I can assure anyone who gets a bad bout of COVID, your insurance is going to be breaking out the DENIED stamp a lot more often.\nSome of the worse bouts of COVID are six or seven figures. Maybe knock one or two of those digits off with insurance helped by the Government. With this ending, a lot of people are going to be on the hook for that bill now.\nMaybe this is what it takes for people to start treating this pandemic seriously? Million dollar medical bills that will haunt them the rest of their lives. I mean, we're still shedding about 200+ some people a day to COVID. That's ~73k a year. That's twice as many people who die in car wrecks annually and about 20% the rate of people who die from heart disease. That puts it in a firm third place for cause of death in the US.",
">\n\n500+ people a day in the US right now",
">\n\nI mean thank god for those 2 checks we got to help us survive 3 years",
">\n\nAnd then the record inflation, I know they weren't directly related but it made the checks even more meaningless in the long run.",
">\n\nI wonder how this will impact things like loan forgiveness in the courts, which relied on the emergency declaration to get authorization. I have a feeling SCOTUS will give a legally dubious \"it was valid at the time of the order but now the declaration is rescinded, so it would be irrelevant by the time we'd let you do it anyway.\" Thus they don't have to actually decide on whether it was legal and just skip to the boot. They used similar reasoning in other laws they've tossed down in the last decade or so.\nUntil now I thought they were going to toss it down on the basis that \"COVID isn't a big deal anymore,\" and just ignore the emergency declaration - they also used that reasoning in another COVID-related case recently (Gorsuch stood with liberals in opposing that opinion if I recall correctly).",
">\n\nThey specifically put in dates in June for the deadline I believe",
">\n\nWell, they ALSO chose a stock photo of people actually WEARING MASKS!!!",
">\n\nAnd a PornHub baseball cap",
">\n\nThis has real early war on terror \"mission accomplished\" vibes to it.",
">\n\nSince literally before the disaster even began in earnest in America, that's been the message. No wonder we're at 1.1 million deaths and tens of millions with permanent disabilities.",
">\n\npsst: we're also the most obese nation by far, which is a super big risk factor for severe Covid.",
">\n\nI can't read the article but being a caregiver for 2 high risk people, my life won't change. I didn't know there were still protocols in place.",
">\n\nYeah I have family members who have had organ transplants. Zero immune system, produce zero antibodies when vaccinated multiple times. Evushield was pulled because it's not effective. And people don't get it, they act like we're freaks wearing masks still. I have been harassed in public, I was 9 mo pregnant and a man kept banging on my car screaming at me to take off my mask. So I am worried that the state of emergency being changed will just make things worse in terms of respecting people still needing to be careful. I just wish the government cared a little more about the immune compromised, or even just pretended to care.",
">\n\n\nI just wish the government cared a little more about the immune compromised, or even just pretended to care.\n\nThey don't, we have objective evidence they do not now. Anyone in this situation, or caring for someone in this situation is on their own. \nWestern Society has really revealed itself to be an uncaring and selfish construct of humanity through this.",
">\n\nYeah it's really sad, it bothers me how anyone vulnerable is just thrown to the side like they don't matter. It's always been this way here. Look how a lot of nursing homes function.",
">\n\n\nIt's always been this way here.\n\nThis is the personal revelation I have gone through with this. It's not something new, I just didn't understand where we were at, and now that I do, I can't unsee it. \nIt kind of reminds me of Logans run, how everyone was killed off young and didn't really get a chance to understand the reality of their situation. The young and healthy are rarely if ever going to interface with the systems we have in place that are like this, except in extraordinary situations like this one.",
">\n\nNo I'm in a similar boat. I never realized it until very recently, and it's hard to come to terms with. I hope for change but with the current mentality of parents are evil and everyone over 50 is a crazy Trumper, and then no one caring about babies getting sick or people with cancer or pregnant people or organ recipients, i worry it'll get worse before it gets better. Especially with social media breeding such a self centered perspective on life and a sense of self importance. I wonder if it's this way in other countries too or just the US.",
">\n\nIt absolutely is the same way in other countries. It may look a little different, but people have definitely reacted the same way, at least from a logical perspective. \nLook at the Canadian trucker situation, and the Swedish approach to COVID from the start, Q-anon inspired would-be coupers in Germany, etc... \nI don't know how we collectively dig ourselves out of this, but the focus of my life moving forward it to spend what energy and time I have left on this earth trying to figure out what I can do to help move us in that direction. \nWhat I do know is that this is not the way to do things. \nI'm glad you've engaged here, it's always nice to know that there are others out there who are paying attention to things and actually have empathy.",
">\n\nDefinitely, it's been nice chatting with you too. I'm trying to make a difference too, starting within my family while my kids are little and my parents need help, and hopefully finding a way to contribute to change in society too. Take care, stay healthy.",
">\n\nFuck. There goes my Medicaid",
">\n\nAs a student who just got on Medicaid end of last year, could you explain to me why you will lose it? Did you qualify for it during covid but no longer qualify for it now? And with the end of the emergency declarations, it won’t be extended to you?",
">\n\nIf you make over a certain amount of income (in California I think the cutoff is 19K/yr - not sure if it’s different elsewhere) then you don’t qualify for Medicaid, but they’ve been keeping people on their plan during the pandemic regardless. My understanding is that after May 11th, they will no longer provide coverage for folks who don’t technically qualify.",
">\n\n1.1 million people unavailable for comment due to unspecified illness",
">\n\nThat's for the world. The 1.1 million for the US is probably fairly close, as opposed to say India where the excess deaths are about 10x the reported COVID deaths.",
">\n\nI think the US count is still off by hundreds of thousands if you look at excess mortality.",
">\n\nmillions - it doesn't take into account just how many people are living off the counts",
">\n\nWeird because that's my birthday.\nAnyway, whoever reads this, I hope you have a good and prosperous 2023."
] |
>
Welp ok. I currently have Covid. It's not bad, but I have missed work now for 7 days. Cough, congestion, exhaustion, yet no fever. Will this be like the flu from now on? Who knows. I just don't know what to do. | [
"Of all the stock photos of people wearing masks they could choose from, they pick the one with a guy wearing a Porn Hub hat.",
">\n\nNow let’s ask why the fuck he’s wearing a pornhub hat lol. When I leave the house I might put on a Duluth Trading Company hat, that’s a brand I like. Or a University of Wisconsin hat, a school I support. But this guy loves jerking off so much that he wears clothing repping his favorite porn site. You’ve got no choice but to respect that honestly.",
">\n\nOr maybe it is just a spinoff parody hat. Like he is a farmer and it says \"CornBub\".",
">\n\nCorn does have the juice.",
">\n\nI can't imagine a more beautiful thing!",
">\n\nCool now do the ones put in place after 9/11",
">\n\nwill people get dropped from medicaid because of this?",
">\n\nYes, at least where I am they ceased ALL negative actions and renewals for medicaid, while it was still declared an ongoing public health crisis.",
">\n\nThey stopped those protections a while ago here. I just had a client retroactively denied coverage going back to November...",
">\n\nRETROACTIVELY denied?!?? That sounds so evil. :(",
">\n\nInsurance in general is evil :/",
">\n\nBy that, student debt cancellation won’t be a thing.",
">\n\nIsn't the loan repayment pause dependent on the covid emergency declaration as well?",
">\n\nYes. So are the guaranteed sick days, vaccines, medications, hospital stays etc. This will only affect people who are poor and sick. It's not about masks which everyone is pretending. It's about the financial help for the poor and disabled that is being taken away and that's what people are celebrating today.",
">\n\nAlso insurance is more inclined to stamp APPROVED on a lot of the things that are used in bad bouts of COVID. Mostly because the Government has been helping cover some of those costs.\nNow that this is going away, I can assure anyone who gets a bad bout of COVID, your insurance is going to be breaking out the DENIED stamp a lot more often.\nSome of the worse bouts of COVID are six or seven figures. Maybe knock one or two of those digits off with insurance helped by the Government. With this ending, a lot of people are going to be on the hook for that bill now.\nMaybe this is what it takes for people to start treating this pandemic seriously? Million dollar medical bills that will haunt them the rest of their lives. I mean, we're still shedding about 200+ some people a day to COVID. That's ~73k a year. That's twice as many people who die in car wrecks annually and about 20% the rate of people who die from heart disease. That puts it in a firm third place for cause of death in the US.",
">\n\n500+ people a day in the US right now",
">\n\nI mean thank god for those 2 checks we got to help us survive 3 years",
">\n\nAnd then the record inflation, I know they weren't directly related but it made the checks even more meaningless in the long run.",
">\n\nI wonder how this will impact things like loan forgiveness in the courts, which relied on the emergency declaration to get authorization. I have a feeling SCOTUS will give a legally dubious \"it was valid at the time of the order but now the declaration is rescinded, so it would be irrelevant by the time we'd let you do it anyway.\" Thus they don't have to actually decide on whether it was legal and just skip to the boot. They used similar reasoning in other laws they've tossed down in the last decade or so.\nUntil now I thought they were going to toss it down on the basis that \"COVID isn't a big deal anymore,\" and just ignore the emergency declaration - they also used that reasoning in another COVID-related case recently (Gorsuch stood with liberals in opposing that opinion if I recall correctly).",
">\n\nThey specifically put in dates in June for the deadline I believe",
">\n\nWell, they ALSO chose a stock photo of people actually WEARING MASKS!!!",
">\n\nAnd a PornHub baseball cap",
">\n\nThis has real early war on terror \"mission accomplished\" vibes to it.",
">\n\nSince literally before the disaster even began in earnest in America, that's been the message. No wonder we're at 1.1 million deaths and tens of millions with permanent disabilities.",
">\n\npsst: we're also the most obese nation by far, which is a super big risk factor for severe Covid.",
">\n\nI can't read the article but being a caregiver for 2 high risk people, my life won't change. I didn't know there were still protocols in place.",
">\n\nYeah I have family members who have had organ transplants. Zero immune system, produce zero antibodies when vaccinated multiple times. Evushield was pulled because it's not effective. And people don't get it, they act like we're freaks wearing masks still. I have been harassed in public, I was 9 mo pregnant and a man kept banging on my car screaming at me to take off my mask. So I am worried that the state of emergency being changed will just make things worse in terms of respecting people still needing to be careful. I just wish the government cared a little more about the immune compromised, or even just pretended to care.",
">\n\n\nI just wish the government cared a little more about the immune compromised, or even just pretended to care.\n\nThey don't, we have objective evidence they do not now. Anyone in this situation, or caring for someone in this situation is on their own. \nWestern Society has really revealed itself to be an uncaring and selfish construct of humanity through this.",
">\n\nYeah it's really sad, it bothers me how anyone vulnerable is just thrown to the side like they don't matter. It's always been this way here. Look how a lot of nursing homes function.",
">\n\n\nIt's always been this way here.\n\nThis is the personal revelation I have gone through with this. It's not something new, I just didn't understand where we were at, and now that I do, I can't unsee it. \nIt kind of reminds me of Logans run, how everyone was killed off young and didn't really get a chance to understand the reality of their situation. The young and healthy are rarely if ever going to interface with the systems we have in place that are like this, except in extraordinary situations like this one.",
">\n\nNo I'm in a similar boat. I never realized it until very recently, and it's hard to come to terms with. I hope for change but with the current mentality of parents are evil and everyone over 50 is a crazy Trumper, and then no one caring about babies getting sick or people with cancer or pregnant people or organ recipients, i worry it'll get worse before it gets better. Especially with social media breeding such a self centered perspective on life and a sense of self importance. I wonder if it's this way in other countries too or just the US.",
">\n\nIt absolutely is the same way in other countries. It may look a little different, but people have definitely reacted the same way, at least from a logical perspective. \nLook at the Canadian trucker situation, and the Swedish approach to COVID from the start, Q-anon inspired would-be coupers in Germany, etc... \nI don't know how we collectively dig ourselves out of this, but the focus of my life moving forward it to spend what energy and time I have left on this earth trying to figure out what I can do to help move us in that direction. \nWhat I do know is that this is not the way to do things. \nI'm glad you've engaged here, it's always nice to know that there are others out there who are paying attention to things and actually have empathy.",
">\n\nDefinitely, it's been nice chatting with you too. I'm trying to make a difference too, starting within my family while my kids are little and my parents need help, and hopefully finding a way to contribute to change in society too. Take care, stay healthy.",
">\n\nFuck. There goes my Medicaid",
">\n\nAs a student who just got on Medicaid end of last year, could you explain to me why you will lose it? Did you qualify for it during covid but no longer qualify for it now? And with the end of the emergency declarations, it won’t be extended to you?",
">\n\nIf you make over a certain amount of income (in California I think the cutoff is 19K/yr - not sure if it’s different elsewhere) then you don’t qualify for Medicaid, but they’ve been keeping people on their plan during the pandemic regardless. My understanding is that after May 11th, they will no longer provide coverage for folks who don’t technically qualify.",
">\n\n1.1 million people unavailable for comment due to unspecified illness",
">\n\nThat's for the world. The 1.1 million for the US is probably fairly close, as opposed to say India where the excess deaths are about 10x the reported COVID deaths.",
">\n\nI think the US count is still off by hundreds of thousands if you look at excess mortality.",
">\n\nmillions - it doesn't take into account just how many people are living off the counts",
">\n\nWeird because that's my birthday.\nAnyway, whoever reads this, I hope you have a good and prosperous 2023.",
">\n\nThank you so much!"
] |
>
Most of us are mainly concerned because the "new norm" is just the status quo with no increased safety nets for a disease that is still much more than the flu. Covid will cause people to lose jobs and more without the protection because we learned nothing and put nothing into place. Collectively. Individually I can protect myself but that is little comfort if I get long covid and lose my job. | [
"Of all the stock photos of people wearing masks they could choose from, they pick the one with a guy wearing a Porn Hub hat.",
">\n\nNow let’s ask why the fuck he’s wearing a pornhub hat lol. When I leave the house I might put on a Duluth Trading Company hat, that’s a brand I like. Or a University of Wisconsin hat, a school I support. But this guy loves jerking off so much that he wears clothing repping his favorite porn site. You’ve got no choice but to respect that honestly.",
">\n\nOr maybe it is just a spinoff parody hat. Like he is a farmer and it says \"CornBub\".",
">\n\nCorn does have the juice.",
">\n\nI can't imagine a more beautiful thing!",
">\n\nCool now do the ones put in place after 9/11",
">\n\nwill people get dropped from medicaid because of this?",
">\n\nYes, at least where I am they ceased ALL negative actions and renewals for medicaid, while it was still declared an ongoing public health crisis.",
">\n\nThey stopped those protections a while ago here. I just had a client retroactively denied coverage going back to November...",
">\n\nRETROACTIVELY denied?!?? That sounds so evil. :(",
">\n\nInsurance in general is evil :/",
">\n\nBy that, student debt cancellation won’t be a thing.",
">\n\nIsn't the loan repayment pause dependent on the covid emergency declaration as well?",
">\n\nYes. So are the guaranteed sick days, vaccines, medications, hospital stays etc. This will only affect people who are poor and sick. It's not about masks which everyone is pretending. It's about the financial help for the poor and disabled that is being taken away and that's what people are celebrating today.",
">\n\nAlso insurance is more inclined to stamp APPROVED on a lot of the things that are used in bad bouts of COVID. Mostly because the Government has been helping cover some of those costs.\nNow that this is going away, I can assure anyone who gets a bad bout of COVID, your insurance is going to be breaking out the DENIED stamp a lot more often.\nSome of the worse bouts of COVID are six or seven figures. Maybe knock one or two of those digits off with insurance helped by the Government. With this ending, a lot of people are going to be on the hook for that bill now.\nMaybe this is what it takes for people to start treating this pandemic seriously? Million dollar medical bills that will haunt them the rest of their lives. I mean, we're still shedding about 200+ some people a day to COVID. That's ~73k a year. That's twice as many people who die in car wrecks annually and about 20% the rate of people who die from heart disease. That puts it in a firm third place for cause of death in the US.",
">\n\n500+ people a day in the US right now",
">\n\nI mean thank god for those 2 checks we got to help us survive 3 years",
">\n\nAnd then the record inflation, I know they weren't directly related but it made the checks even more meaningless in the long run.",
">\n\nI wonder how this will impact things like loan forgiveness in the courts, which relied on the emergency declaration to get authorization. I have a feeling SCOTUS will give a legally dubious \"it was valid at the time of the order but now the declaration is rescinded, so it would be irrelevant by the time we'd let you do it anyway.\" Thus they don't have to actually decide on whether it was legal and just skip to the boot. They used similar reasoning in other laws they've tossed down in the last decade or so.\nUntil now I thought they were going to toss it down on the basis that \"COVID isn't a big deal anymore,\" and just ignore the emergency declaration - they also used that reasoning in another COVID-related case recently (Gorsuch stood with liberals in opposing that opinion if I recall correctly).",
">\n\nThey specifically put in dates in June for the deadline I believe",
">\n\nWell, they ALSO chose a stock photo of people actually WEARING MASKS!!!",
">\n\nAnd a PornHub baseball cap",
">\n\nThis has real early war on terror \"mission accomplished\" vibes to it.",
">\n\nSince literally before the disaster even began in earnest in America, that's been the message. No wonder we're at 1.1 million deaths and tens of millions with permanent disabilities.",
">\n\npsst: we're also the most obese nation by far, which is a super big risk factor for severe Covid.",
">\n\nI can't read the article but being a caregiver for 2 high risk people, my life won't change. I didn't know there were still protocols in place.",
">\n\nYeah I have family members who have had organ transplants. Zero immune system, produce zero antibodies when vaccinated multiple times. Evushield was pulled because it's not effective. And people don't get it, they act like we're freaks wearing masks still. I have been harassed in public, I was 9 mo pregnant and a man kept banging on my car screaming at me to take off my mask. So I am worried that the state of emergency being changed will just make things worse in terms of respecting people still needing to be careful. I just wish the government cared a little more about the immune compromised, or even just pretended to care.",
">\n\n\nI just wish the government cared a little more about the immune compromised, or even just pretended to care.\n\nThey don't, we have objective evidence they do not now. Anyone in this situation, or caring for someone in this situation is on their own. \nWestern Society has really revealed itself to be an uncaring and selfish construct of humanity through this.",
">\n\nYeah it's really sad, it bothers me how anyone vulnerable is just thrown to the side like they don't matter. It's always been this way here. Look how a lot of nursing homes function.",
">\n\n\nIt's always been this way here.\n\nThis is the personal revelation I have gone through with this. It's not something new, I just didn't understand where we were at, and now that I do, I can't unsee it. \nIt kind of reminds me of Logans run, how everyone was killed off young and didn't really get a chance to understand the reality of their situation. The young and healthy are rarely if ever going to interface with the systems we have in place that are like this, except in extraordinary situations like this one.",
">\n\nNo I'm in a similar boat. I never realized it until very recently, and it's hard to come to terms with. I hope for change but with the current mentality of parents are evil and everyone over 50 is a crazy Trumper, and then no one caring about babies getting sick or people with cancer or pregnant people or organ recipients, i worry it'll get worse before it gets better. Especially with social media breeding such a self centered perspective on life and a sense of self importance. I wonder if it's this way in other countries too or just the US.",
">\n\nIt absolutely is the same way in other countries. It may look a little different, but people have definitely reacted the same way, at least from a logical perspective. \nLook at the Canadian trucker situation, and the Swedish approach to COVID from the start, Q-anon inspired would-be coupers in Germany, etc... \nI don't know how we collectively dig ourselves out of this, but the focus of my life moving forward it to spend what energy and time I have left on this earth trying to figure out what I can do to help move us in that direction. \nWhat I do know is that this is not the way to do things. \nI'm glad you've engaged here, it's always nice to know that there are others out there who are paying attention to things and actually have empathy.",
">\n\nDefinitely, it's been nice chatting with you too. I'm trying to make a difference too, starting within my family while my kids are little and my parents need help, and hopefully finding a way to contribute to change in society too. Take care, stay healthy.",
">\n\nFuck. There goes my Medicaid",
">\n\nAs a student who just got on Medicaid end of last year, could you explain to me why you will lose it? Did you qualify for it during covid but no longer qualify for it now? And with the end of the emergency declarations, it won’t be extended to you?",
">\n\nIf you make over a certain amount of income (in California I think the cutoff is 19K/yr - not sure if it’s different elsewhere) then you don’t qualify for Medicaid, but they’ve been keeping people on their plan during the pandemic regardless. My understanding is that after May 11th, they will no longer provide coverage for folks who don’t technically qualify.",
">\n\n1.1 million people unavailable for comment due to unspecified illness",
">\n\nThat's for the world. The 1.1 million for the US is probably fairly close, as opposed to say India where the excess deaths are about 10x the reported COVID deaths.",
">\n\nI think the US count is still off by hundreds of thousands if you look at excess mortality.",
">\n\nmillions - it doesn't take into account just how many people are living off the counts",
">\n\nWeird because that's my birthday.\nAnyway, whoever reads this, I hope you have a good and prosperous 2023.",
">\n\nThank you so much!",
">\n\nWelp ok. I currently have Covid. It's not bad, but I have missed work now for 7 days. Cough, congestion, exhaustion, yet no fever. Will this be like the flu from now on? Who knows. I just don't know what to do."
] |
>
A proper road ahead is pretty clear it. The road has just been heavily sabotaged with politics and misinformation. Covid will hurt a lot of people in the US because of this, somewhat, forced designation removal.
For the pragmatic individuals like myself we see the road that is paved with politics, misinformation and good ol American stubbornness having a huge hole in it when it comes to the "next thing". If we, for example, get a disease in the h1n1 levels of virility as the "next one" A LOT of people are going to die because of bad lessons learned from this go around. | [
"Of all the stock photos of people wearing masks they could choose from, they pick the one with a guy wearing a Porn Hub hat.",
">\n\nNow let’s ask why the fuck he’s wearing a pornhub hat lol. When I leave the house I might put on a Duluth Trading Company hat, that’s a brand I like. Or a University of Wisconsin hat, a school I support. But this guy loves jerking off so much that he wears clothing repping his favorite porn site. You’ve got no choice but to respect that honestly.",
">\n\nOr maybe it is just a spinoff parody hat. Like he is a farmer and it says \"CornBub\".",
">\n\nCorn does have the juice.",
">\n\nI can't imagine a more beautiful thing!",
">\n\nCool now do the ones put in place after 9/11",
">\n\nwill people get dropped from medicaid because of this?",
">\n\nYes, at least where I am they ceased ALL negative actions and renewals for medicaid, while it was still declared an ongoing public health crisis.",
">\n\nThey stopped those protections a while ago here. I just had a client retroactively denied coverage going back to November...",
">\n\nRETROACTIVELY denied?!?? That sounds so evil. :(",
">\n\nInsurance in general is evil :/",
">\n\nBy that, student debt cancellation won’t be a thing.",
">\n\nIsn't the loan repayment pause dependent on the covid emergency declaration as well?",
">\n\nYes. So are the guaranteed sick days, vaccines, medications, hospital stays etc. This will only affect people who are poor and sick. It's not about masks which everyone is pretending. It's about the financial help for the poor and disabled that is being taken away and that's what people are celebrating today.",
">\n\nAlso insurance is more inclined to stamp APPROVED on a lot of the things that are used in bad bouts of COVID. Mostly because the Government has been helping cover some of those costs.\nNow that this is going away, I can assure anyone who gets a bad bout of COVID, your insurance is going to be breaking out the DENIED stamp a lot more often.\nSome of the worse bouts of COVID are six or seven figures. Maybe knock one or two of those digits off with insurance helped by the Government. With this ending, a lot of people are going to be on the hook for that bill now.\nMaybe this is what it takes for people to start treating this pandemic seriously? Million dollar medical bills that will haunt them the rest of their lives. I mean, we're still shedding about 200+ some people a day to COVID. That's ~73k a year. That's twice as many people who die in car wrecks annually and about 20% the rate of people who die from heart disease. That puts it in a firm third place for cause of death in the US.",
">\n\n500+ people a day in the US right now",
">\n\nI mean thank god for those 2 checks we got to help us survive 3 years",
">\n\nAnd then the record inflation, I know they weren't directly related but it made the checks even more meaningless in the long run.",
">\n\nI wonder how this will impact things like loan forgiveness in the courts, which relied on the emergency declaration to get authorization. I have a feeling SCOTUS will give a legally dubious \"it was valid at the time of the order but now the declaration is rescinded, so it would be irrelevant by the time we'd let you do it anyway.\" Thus they don't have to actually decide on whether it was legal and just skip to the boot. They used similar reasoning in other laws they've tossed down in the last decade or so.\nUntil now I thought they were going to toss it down on the basis that \"COVID isn't a big deal anymore,\" and just ignore the emergency declaration - they also used that reasoning in another COVID-related case recently (Gorsuch stood with liberals in opposing that opinion if I recall correctly).",
">\n\nThey specifically put in dates in June for the deadline I believe",
">\n\nWell, they ALSO chose a stock photo of people actually WEARING MASKS!!!",
">\n\nAnd a PornHub baseball cap",
">\n\nThis has real early war on terror \"mission accomplished\" vibes to it.",
">\n\nSince literally before the disaster even began in earnest in America, that's been the message. No wonder we're at 1.1 million deaths and tens of millions with permanent disabilities.",
">\n\npsst: we're also the most obese nation by far, which is a super big risk factor for severe Covid.",
">\n\nI can't read the article but being a caregiver for 2 high risk people, my life won't change. I didn't know there were still protocols in place.",
">\n\nYeah I have family members who have had organ transplants. Zero immune system, produce zero antibodies when vaccinated multiple times. Evushield was pulled because it's not effective. And people don't get it, they act like we're freaks wearing masks still. I have been harassed in public, I was 9 mo pregnant and a man kept banging on my car screaming at me to take off my mask. So I am worried that the state of emergency being changed will just make things worse in terms of respecting people still needing to be careful. I just wish the government cared a little more about the immune compromised, or even just pretended to care.",
">\n\n\nI just wish the government cared a little more about the immune compromised, or even just pretended to care.\n\nThey don't, we have objective evidence they do not now. Anyone in this situation, or caring for someone in this situation is on their own. \nWestern Society has really revealed itself to be an uncaring and selfish construct of humanity through this.",
">\n\nYeah it's really sad, it bothers me how anyone vulnerable is just thrown to the side like they don't matter. It's always been this way here. Look how a lot of nursing homes function.",
">\n\n\nIt's always been this way here.\n\nThis is the personal revelation I have gone through with this. It's not something new, I just didn't understand where we were at, and now that I do, I can't unsee it. \nIt kind of reminds me of Logans run, how everyone was killed off young and didn't really get a chance to understand the reality of their situation. The young and healthy are rarely if ever going to interface with the systems we have in place that are like this, except in extraordinary situations like this one.",
">\n\nNo I'm in a similar boat. I never realized it until very recently, and it's hard to come to terms with. I hope for change but with the current mentality of parents are evil and everyone over 50 is a crazy Trumper, and then no one caring about babies getting sick or people with cancer or pregnant people or organ recipients, i worry it'll get worse before it gets better. Especially with social media breeding such a self centered perspective on life and a sense of self importance. I wonder if it's this way in other countries too or just the US.",
">\n\nIt absolutely is the same way in other countries. It may look a little different, but people have definitely reacted the same way, at least from a logical perspective. \nLook at the Canadian trucker situation, and the Swedish approach to COVID from the start, Q-anon inspired would-be coupers in Germany, etc... \nI don't know how we collectively dig ourselves out of this, but the focus of my life moving forward it to spend what energy and time I have left on this earth trying to figure out what I can do to help move us in that direction. \nWhat I do know is that this is not the way to do things. \nI'm glad you've engaged here, it's always nice to know that there are others out there who are paying attention to things and actually have empathy.",
">\n\nDefinitely, it's been nice chatting with you too. I'm trying to make a difference too, starting within my family while my kids are little and my parents need help, and hopefully finding a way to contribute to change in society too. Take care, stay healthy.",
">\n\nFuck. There goes my Medicaid",
">\n\nAs a student who just got on Medicaid end of last year, could you explain to me why you will lose it? Did you qualify for it during covid but no longer qualify for it now? And with the end of the emergency declarations, it won’t be extended to you?",
">\n\nIf you make over a certain amount of income (in California I think the cutoff is 19K/yr - not sure if it’s different elsewhere) then you don’t qualify for Medicaid, but they’ve been keeping people on their plan during the pandemic regardless. My understanding is that after May 11th, they will no longer provide coverage for folks who don’t technically qualify.",
">\n\n1.1 million people unavailable for comment due to unspecified illness",
">\n\nThat's for the world. The 1.1 million for the US is probably fairly close, as opposed to say India where the excess deaths are about 10x the reported COVID deaths.",
">\n\nI think the US count is still off by hundreds of thousands if you look at excess mortality.",
">\n\nmillions - it doesn't take into account just how many people are living off the counts",
">\n\nWeird because that's my birthday.\nAnyway, whoever reads this, I hope you have a good and prosperous 2023.",
">\n\nThank you so much!",
">\n\nWelp ok. I currently have Covid. It's not bad, but I have missed work now for 7 days. Cough, congestion, exhaustion, yet no fever. Will this be like the flu from now on? Who knows. I just don't know what to do.",
">\n\nMost of us are mainly concerned because the \"new norm\" is just the status quo with no increased safety nets for a disease that is still much more than the flu. Covid will cause people to lose jobs and more without the protection because we learned nothing and put nothing into place. Collectively. Individually I can protect myself but that is little comfort if I get long covid and lose my job."
] |
>
A proper road ahead is pretty clear
OK, but what is it? | [
"Of all the stock photos of people wearing masks they could choose from, they pick the one with a guy wearing a Porn Hub hat.",
">\n\nNow let’s ask why the fuck he’s wearing a pornhub hat lol. When I leave the house I might put on a Duluth Trading Company hat, that’s a brand I like. Or a University of Wisconsin hat, a school I support. But this guy loves jerking off so much that he wears clothing repping his favorite porn site. You’ve got no choice but to respect that honestly.",
">\n\nOr maybe it is just a spinoff parody hat. Like he is a farmer and it says \"CornBub\".",
">\n\nCorn does have the juice.",
">\n\nI can't imagine a more beautiful thing!",
">\n\nCool now do the ones put in place after 9/11",
">\n\nwill people get dropped from medicaid because of this?",
">\n\nYes, at least where I am they ceased ALL negative actions and renewals for medicaid, while it was still declared an ongoing public health crisis.",
">\n\nThey stopped those protections a while ago here. I just had a client retroactively denied coverage going back to November...",
">\n\nRETROACTIVELY denied?!?? That sounds so evil. :(",
">\n\nInsurance in general is evil :/",
">\n\nBy that, student debt cancellation won’t be a thing.",
">\n\nIsn't the loan repayment pause dependent on the covid emergency declaration as well?",
">\n\nYes. So are the guaranteed sick days, vaccines, medications, hospital stays etc. This will only affect people who are poor and sick. It's not about masks which everyone is pretending. It's about the financial help for the poor and disabled that is being taken away and that's what people are celebrating today.",
">\n\nAlso insurance is more inclined to stamp APPROVED on a lot of the things that are used in bad bouts of COVID. Mostly because the Government has been helping cover some of those costs.\nNow that this is going away, I can assure anyone who gets a bad bout of COVID, your insurance is going to be breaking out the DENIED stamp a lot more often.\nSome of the worse bouts of COVID are six or seven figures. Maybe knock one or two of those digits off with insurance helped by the Government. With this ending, a lot of people are going to be on the hook for that bill now.\nMaybe this is what it takes for people to start treating this pandemic seriously? Million dollar medical bills that will haunt them the rest of their lives. I mean, we're still shedding about 200+ some people a day to COVID. That's ~73k a year. That's twice as many people who die in car wrecks annually and about 20% the rate of people who die from heart disease. That puts it in a firm third place for cause of death in the US.",
">\n\n500+ people a day in the US right now",
">\n\nI mean thank god for those 2 checks we got to help us survive 3 years",
">\n\nAnd then the record inflation, I know they weren't directly related but it made the checks even more meaningless in the long run.",
">\n\nI wonder how this will impact things like loan forgiveness in the courts, which relied on the emergency declaration to get authorization. I have a feeling SCOTUS will give a legally dubious \"it was valid at the time of the order but now the declaration is rescinded, so it would be irrelevant by the time we'd let you do it anyway.\" Thus they don't have to actually decide on whether it was legal and just skip to the boot. They used similar reasoning in other laws they've tossed down in the last decade or so.\nUntil now I thought they were going to toss it down on the basis that \"COVID isn't a big deal anymore,\" and just ignore the emergency declaration - they also used that reasoning in another COVID-related case recently (Gorsuch stood with liberals in opposing that opinion if I recall correctly).",
">\n\nThey specifically put in dates in June for the deadline I believe",
">\n\nWell, they ALSO chose a stock photo of people actually WEARING MASKS!!!",
">\n\nAnd a PornHub baseball cap",
">\n\nThis has real early war on terror \"mission accomplished\" vibes to it.",
">\n\nSince literally before the disaster even began in earnest in America, that's been the message. No wonder we're at 1.1 million deaths and tens of millions with permanent disabilities.",
">\n\npsst: we're also the most obese nation by far, which is a super big risk factor for severe Covid.",
">\n\nI can't read the article but being a caregiver for 2 high risk people, my life won't change. I didn't know there were still protocols in place.",
">\n\nYeah I have family members who have had organ transplants. Zero immune system, produce zero antibodies when vaccinated multiple times. Evushield was pulled because it's not effective. And people don't get it, they act like we're freaks wearing masks still. I have been harassed in public, I was 9 mo pregnant and a man kept banging on my car screaming at me to take off my mask. So I am worried that the state of emergency being changed will just make things worse in terms of respecting people still needing to be careful. I just wish the government cared a little more about the immune compromised, or even just pretended to care.",
">\n\n\nI just wish the government cared a little more about the immune compromised, or even just pretended to care.\n\nThey don't, we have objective evidence they do not now. Anyone in this situation, or caring for someone in this situation is on their own. \nWestern Society has really revealed itself to be an uncaring and selfish construct of humanity through this.",
">\n\nYeah it's really sad, it bothers me how anyone vulnerable is just thrown to the side like they don't matter. It's always been this way here. Look how a lot of nursing homes function.",
">\n\n\nIt's always been this way here.\n\nThis is the personal revelation I have gone through with this. It's not something new, I just didn't understand where we were at, and now that I do, I can't unsee it. \nIt kind of reminds me of Logans run, how everyone was killed off young and didn't really get a chance to understand the reality of their situation. The young and healthy are rarely if ever going to interface with the systems we have in place that are like this, except in extraordinary situations like this one.",
">\n\nNo I'm in a similar boat. I never realized it until very recently, and it's hard to come to terms with. I hope for change but with the current mentality of parents are evil and everyone over 50 is a crazy Trumper, and then no one caring about babies getting sick or people with cancer or pregnant people or organ recipients, i worry it'll get worse before it gets better. Especially with social media breeding such a self centered perspective on life and a sense of self importance. I wonder if it's this way in other countries too or just the US.",
">\n\nIt absolutely is the same way in other countries. It may look a little different, but people have definitely reacted the same way, at least from a logical perspective. \nLook at the Canadian trucker situation, and the Swedish approach to COVID from the start, Q-anon inspired would-be coupers in Germany, etc... \nI don't know how we collectively dig ourselves out of this, but the focus of my life moving forward it to spend what energy and time I have left on this earth trying to figure out what I can do to help move us in that direction. \nWhat I do know is that this is not the way to do things. \nI'm glad you've engaged here, it's always nice to know that there are others out there who are paying attention to things and actually have empathy.",
">\n\nDefinitely, it's been nice chatting with you too. I'm trying to make a difference too, starting within my family while my kids are little and my parents need help, and hopefully finding a way to contribute to change in society too. Take care, stay healthy.",
">\n\nFuck. There goes my Medicaid",
">\n\nAs a student who just got on Medicaid end of last year, could you explain to me why you will lose it? Did you qualify for it during covid but no longer qualify for it now? And with the end of the emergency declarations, it won’t be extended to you?",
">\n\nIf you make over a certain amount of income (in California I think the cutoff is 19K/yr - not sure if it’s different elsewhere) then you don’t qualify for Medicaid, but they’ve been keeping people on their plan during the pandemic regardless. My understanding is that after May 11th, they will no longer provide coverage for folks who don’t technically qualify.",
">\n\n1.1 million people unavailable for comment due to unspecified illness",
">\n\nThat's for the world. The 1.1 million for the US is probably fairly close, as opposed to say India where the excess deaths are about 10x the reported COVID deaths.",
">\n\nI think the US count is still off by hundreds of thousands if you look at excess mortality.",
">\n\nmillions - it doesn't take into account just how many people are living off the counts",
">\n\nWeird because that's my birthday.\nAnyway, whoever reads this, I hope you have a good and prosperous 2023.",
">\n\nThank you so much!",
">\n\nWelp ok. I currently have Covid. It's not bad, but I have missed work now for 7 days. Cough, congestion, exhaustion, yet no fever. Will this be like the flu from now on? Who knows. I just don't know what to do.",
">\n\nMost of us are mainly concerned because the \"new norm\" is just the status quo with no increased safety nets for a disease that is still much more than the flu. Covid will cause people to lose jobs and more without the protection because we learned nothing and put nothing into place. Collectively. Individually I can protect myself but that is little comfort if I get long covid and lose my job.",
">\n\nA proper road ahead is pretty clear it. The road has just been heavily sabotaged with politics and misinformation. Covid will hurt a lot of people in the US because of this, somewhat, forced designation removal.\nFor the pragmatic individuals like myself we see the road that is paved with politics, misinformation and good ol American stubbornness having a huge hole in it when it comes to the \"next thing\". If we, for example, get a disease in the h1n1 levels of virility as the \"next one\" A LOT of people are going to die because of bad lessons learned from this go around."
] |
>
Congrats to COVID for winning the war on COVID. | [
"Of all the stock photos of people wearing masks they could choose from, they pick the one with a guy wearing a Porn Hub hat.",
">\n\nNow let’s ask why the fuck he’s wearing a pornhub hat lol. When I leave the house I might put on a Duluth Trading Company hat, that’s a brand I like. Or a University of Wisconsin hat, a school I support. But this guy loves jerking off so much that he wears clothing repping his favorite porn site. You’ve got no choice but to respect that honestly.",
">\n\nOr maybe it is just a spinoff parody hat. Like he is a farmer and it says \"CornBub\".",
">\n\nCorn does have the juice.",
">\n\nI can't imagine a more beautiful thing!",
">\n\nCool now do the ones put in place after 9/11",
">\n\nwill people get dropped from medicaid because of this?",
">\n\nYes, at least where I am they ceased ALL negative actions and renewals for medicaid, while it was still declared an ongoing public health crisis.",
">\n\nThey stopped those protections a while ago here. I just had a client retroactively denied coverage going back to November...",
">\n\nRETROACTIVELY denied?!?? That sounds so evil. :(",
">\n\nInsurance in general is evil :/",
">\n\nBy that, student debt cancellation won’t be a thing.",
">\n\nIsn't the loan repayment pause dependent on the covid emergency declaration as well?",
">\n\nYes. So are the guaranteed sick days, vaccines, medications, hospital stays etc. This will only affect people who are poor and sick. It's not about masks which everyone is pretending. It's about the financial help for the poor and disabled that is being taken away and that's what people are celebrating today.",
">\n\nAlso insurance is more inclined to stamp APPROVED on a lot of the things that are used in bad bouts of COVID. Mostly because the Government has been helping cover some of those costs.\nNow that this is going away, I can assure anyone who gets a bad bout of COVID, your insurance is going to be breaking out the DENIED stamp a lot more often.\nSome of the worse bouts of COVID are six or seven figures. Maybe knock one or two of those digits off with insurance helped by the Government. With this ending, a lot of people are going to be on the hook for that bill now.\nMaybe this is what it takes for people to start treating this pandemic seriously? Million dollar medical bills that will haunt them the rest of their lives. I mean, we're still shedding about 200+ some people a day to COVID. That's ~73k a year. That's twice as many people who die in car wrecks annually and about 20% the rate of people who die from heart disease. That puts it in a firm third place for cause of death in the US.",
">\n\n500+ people a day in the US right now",
">\n\nI mean thank god for those 2 checks we got to help us survive 3 years",
">\n\nAnd then the record inflation, I know they weren't directly related but it made the checks even more meaningless in the long run.",
">\n\nI wonder how this will impact things like loan forgiveness in the courts, which relied on the emergency declaration to get authorization. I have a feeling SCOTUS will give a legally dubious \"it was valid at the time of the order but now the declaration is rescinded, so it would be irrelevant by the time we'd let you do it anyway.\" Thus they don't have to actually decide on whether it was legal and just skip to the boot. They used similar reasoning in other laws they've tossed down in the last decade or so.\nUntil now I thought they were going to toss it down on the basis that \"COVID isn't a big deal anymore,\" and just ignore the emergency declaration - they also used that reasoning in another COVID-related case recently (Gorsuch stood with liberals in opposing that opinion if I recall correctly).",
">\n\nThey specifically put in dates in June for the deadline I believe",
">\n\nWell, they ALSO chose a stock photo of people actually WEARING MASKS!!!",
">\n\nAnd a PornHub baseball cap",
">\n\nThis has real early war on terror \"mission accomplished\" vibes to it.",
">\n\nSince literally before the disaster even began in earnest in America, that's been the message. No wonder we're at 1.1 million deaths and tens of millions with permanent disabilities.",
">\n\npsst: we're also the most obese nation by far, which is a super big risk factor for severe Covid.",
">\n\nI can't read the article but being a caregiver for 2 high risk people, my life won't change. I didn't know there were still protocols in place.",
">\n\nYeah I have family members who have had organ transplants. Zero immune system, produce zero antibodies when vaccinated multiple times. Evushield was pulled because it's not effective. And people don't get it, they act like we're freaks wearing masks still. I have been harassed in public, I was 9 mo pregnant and a man kept banging on my car screaming at me to take off my mask. So I am worried that the state of emergency being changed will just make things worse in terms of respecting people still needing to be careful. I just wish the government cared a little more about the immune compromised, or even just pretended to care.",
">\n\n\nI just wish the government cared a little more about the immune compromised, or even just pretended to care.\n\nThey don't, we have objective evidence they do not now. Anyone in this situation, or caring for someone in this situation is on their own. \nWestern Society has really revealed itself to be an uncaring and selfish construct of humanity through this.",
">\n\nYeah it's really sad, it bothers me how anyone vulnerable is just thrown to the side like they don't matter. It's always been this way here. Look how a lot of nursing homes function.",
">\n\n\nIt's always been this way here.\n\nThis is the personal revelation I have gone through with this. It's not something new, I just didn't understand where we were at, and now that I do, I can't unsee it. \nIt kind of reminds me of Logans run, how everyone was killed off young and didn't really get a chance to understand the reality of their situation. The young and healthy are rarely if ever going to interface with the systems we have in place that are like this, except in extraordinary situations like this one.",
">\n\nNo I'm in a similar boat. I never realized it until very recently, and it's hard to come to terms with. I hope for change but with the current mentality of parents are evil and everyone over 50 is a crazy Trumper, and then no one caring about babies getting sick or people with cancer or pregnant people or organ recipients, i worry it'll get worse before it gets better. Especially with social media breeding such a self centered perspective on life and a sense of self importance. I wonder if it's this way in other countries too or just the US.",
">\n\nIt absolutely is the same way in other countries. It may look a little different, but people have definitely reacted the same way, at least from a logical perspective. \nLook at the Canadian trucker situation, and the Swedish approach to COVID from the start, Q-anon inspired would-be coupers in Germany, etc... \nI don't know how we collectively dig ourselves out of this, but the focus of my life moving forward it to spend what energy and time I have left on this earth trying to figure out what I can do to help move us in that direction. \nWhat I do know is that this is not the way to do things. \nI'm glad you've engaged here, it's always nice to know that there are others out there who are paying attention to things and actually have empathy.",
">\n\nDefinitely, it's been nice chatting with you too. I'm trying to make a difference too, starting within my family while my kids are little and my parents need help, and hopefully finding a way to contribute to change in society too. Take care, stay healthy.",
">\n\nFuck. There goes my Medicaid",
">\n\nAs a student who just got on Medicaid end of last year, could you explain to me why you will lose it? Did you qualify for it during covid but no longer qualify for it now? And with the end of the emergency declarations, it won’t be extended to you?",
">\n\nIf you make over a certain amount of income (in California I think the cutoff is 19K/yr - not sure if it’s different elsewhere) then you don’t qualify for Medicaid, but they’ve been keeping people on their plan during the pandemic regardless. My understanding is that after May 11th, they will no longer provide coverage for folks who don’t technically qualify.",
">\n\n1.1 million people unavailable for comment due to unspecified illness",
">\n\nThat's for the world. The 1.1 million for the US is probably fairly close, as opposed to say India where the excess deaths are about 10x the reported COVID deaths.",
">\n\nI think the US count is still off by hundreds of thousands if you look at excess mortality.",
">\n\nmillions - it doesn't take into account just how many people are living off the counts",
">\n\nWeird because that's my birthday.\nAnyway, whoever reads this, I hope you have a good and prosperous 2023.",
">\n\nThank you so much!",
">\n\nWelp ok. I currently have Covid. It's not bad, but I have missed work now for 7 days. Cough, congestion, exhaustion, yet no fever. Will this be like the flu from now on? Who knows. I just don't know what to do.",
">\n\nMost of us are mainly concerned because the \"new norm\" is just the status quo with no increased safety nets for a disease that is still much more than the flu. Covid will cause people to lose jobs and more without the protection because we learned nothing and put nothing into place. Collectively. Individually I can protect myself but that is little comfort if I get long covid and lose my job.",
">\n\nA proper road ahead is pretty clear it. The road has just been heavily sabotaged with politics and misinformation. Covid will hurt a lot of people in the US because of this, somewhat, forced designation removal.\nFor the pragmatic individuals like myself we see the road that is paved with politics, misinformation and good ol American stubbornness having a huge hole in it when it comes to the \"next thing\". If we, for example, get a disease in the h1n1 levels of virility as the \"next one\" A LOT of people are going to die because of bad lessons learned from this go around.",
">\n\n\nA proper road ahead is pretty clear\n\nOK, but what is it?"
] |
>
Great. Once the emergency declarations are lifted we'll just have COVID-19. | [
"Of all the stock photos of people wearing masks they could choose from, they pick the one with a guy wearing a Porn Hub hat.",
">\n\nNow let’s ask why the fuck he’s wearing a pornhub hat lol. When I leave the house I might put on a Duluth Trading Company hat, that’s a brand I like. Or a University of Wisconsin hat, a school I support. But this guy loves jerking off so much that he wears clothing repping his favorite porn site. You’ve got no choice but to respect that honestly.",
">\n\nOr maybe it is just a spinoff parody hat. Like he is a farmer and it says \"CornBub\".",
">\n\nCorn does have the juice.",
">\n\nI can't imagine a more beautiful thing!",
">\n\nCool now do the ones put in place after 9/11",
">\n\nwill people get dropped from medicaid because of this?",
">\n\nYes, at least where I am they ceased ALL negative actions and renewals for medicaid, while it was still declared an ongoing public health crisis.",
">\n\nThey stopped those protections a while ago here. I just had a client retroactively denied coverage going back to November...",
">\n\nRETROACTIVELY denied?!?? That sounds so evil. :(",
">\n\nInsurance in general is evil :/",
">\n\nBy that, student debt cancellation won’t be a thing.",
">\n\nIsn't the loan repayment pause dependent on the covid emergency declaration as well?",
">\n\nYes. So are the guaranteed sick days, vaccines, medications, hospital stays etc. This will only affect people who are poor and sick. It's not about masks which everyone is pretending. It's about the financial help for the poor and disabled that is being taken away and that's what people are celebrating today.",
">\n\nAlso insurance is more inclined to stamp APPROVED on a lot of the things that are used in bad bouts of COVID. Mostly because the Government has been helping cover some of those costs.\nNow that this is going away, I can assure anyone who gets a bad bout of COVID, your insurance is going to be breaking out the DENIED stamp a lot more often.\nSome of the worse bouts of COVID are six or seven figures. Maybe knock one or two of those digits off with insurance helped by the Government. With this ending, a lot of people are going to be on the hook for that bill now.\nMaybe this is what it takes for people to start treating this pandemic seriously? Million dollar medical bills that will haunt them the rest of their lives. I mean, we're still shedding about 200+ some people a day to COVID. That's ~73k a year. That's twice as many people who die in car wrecks annually and about 20% the rate of people who die from heart disease. That puts it in a firm third place for cause of death in the US.",
">\n\n500+ people a day in the US right now",
">\n\nI mean thank god for those 2 checks we got to help us survive 3 years",
">\n\nAnd then the record inflation, I know they weren't directly related but it made the checks even more meaningless in the long run.",
">\n\nI wonder how this will impact things like loan forgiveness in the courts, which relied on the emergency declaration to get authorization. I have a feeling SCOTUS will give a legally dubious \"it was valid at the time of the order but now the declaration is rescinded, so it would be irrelevant by the time we'd let you do it anyway.\" Thus they don't have to actually decide on whether it was legal and just skip to the boot. They used similar reasoning in other laws they've tossed down in the last decade or so.\nUntil now I thought they were going to toss it down on the basis that \"COVID isn't a big deal anymore,\" and just ignore the emergency declaration - they also used that reasoning in another COVID-related case recently (Gorsuch stood with liberals in opposing that opinion if I recall correctly).",
">\n\nThey specifically put in dates in June for the deadline I believe",
">\n\nWell, they ALSO chose a stock photo of people actually WEARING MASKS!!!",
">\n\nAnd a PornHub baseball cap",
">\n\nThis has real early war on terror \"mission accomplished\" vibes to it.",
">\n\nSince literally before the disaster even began in earnest in America, that's been the message. No wonder we're at 1.1 million deaths and tens of millions with permanent disabilities.",
">\n\npsst: we're also the most obese nation by far, which is a super big risk factor for severe Covid.",
">\n\nI can't read the article but being a caregiver for 2 high risk people, my life won't change. I didn't know there were still protocols in place.",
">\n\nYeah I have family members who have had organ transplants. Zero immune system, produce zero antibodies when vaccinated multiple times. Evushield was pulled because it's not effective. And people don't get it, they act like we're freaks wearing masks still. I have been harassed in public, I was 9 mo pregnant and a man kept banging on my car screaming at me to take off my mask. So I am worried that the state of emergency being changed will just make things worse in terms of respecting people still needing to be careful. I just wish the government cared a little more about the immune compromised, or even just pretended to care.",
">\n\n\nI just wish the government cared a little more about the immune compromised, or even just pretended to care.\n\nThey don't, we have objective evidence they do not now. Anyone in this situation, or caring for someone in this situation is on their own. \nWestern Society has really revealed itself to be an uncaring and selfish construct of humanity through this.",
">\n\nYeah it's really sad, it bothers me how anyone vulnerable is just thrown to the side like they don't matter. It's always been this way here. Look how a lot of nursing homes function.",
">\n\n\nIt's always been this way here.\n\nThis is the personal revelation I have gone through with this. It's not something new, I just didn't understand where we were at, and now that I do, I can't unsee it. \nIt kind of reminds me of Logans run, how everyone was killed off young and didn't really get a chance to understand the reality of their situation. The young and healthy are rarely if ever going to interface with the systems we have in place that are like this, except in extraordinary situations like this one.",
">\n\nNo I'm in a similar boat. I never realized it until very recently, and it's hard to come to terms with. I hope for change but with the current mentality of parents are evil and everyone over 50 is a crazy Trumper, and then no one caring about babies getting sick or people with cancer or pregnant people or organ recipients, i worry it'll get worse before it gets better. Especially with social media breeding such a self centered perspective on life and a sense of self importance. I wonder if it's this way in other countries too or just the US.",
">\n\nIt absolutely is the same way in other countries. It may look a little different, but people have definitely reacted the same way, at least from a logical perspective. \nLook at the Canadian trucker situation, and the Swedish approach to COVID from the start, Q-anon inspired would-be coupers in Germany, etc... \nI don't know how we collectively dig ourselves out of this, but the focus of my life moving forward it to spend what energy and time I have left on this earth trying to figure out what I can do to help move us in that direction. \nWhat I do know is that this is not the way to do things. \nI'm glad you've engaged here, it's always nice to know that there are others out there who are paying attention to things and actually have empathy.",
">\n\nDefinitely, it's been nice chatting with you too. I'm trying to make a difference too, starting within my family while my kids are little and my parents need help, and hopefully finding a way to contribute to change in society too. Take care, stay healthy.",
">\n\nFuck. There goes my Medicaid",
">\n\nAs a student who just got on Medicaid end of last year, could you explain to me why you will lose it? Did you qualify for it during covid but no longer qualify for it now? And with the end of the emergency declarations, it won’t be extended to you?",
">\n\nIf you make over a certain amount of income (in California I think the cutoff is 19K/yr - not sure if it’s different elsewhere) then you don’t qualify for Medicaid, but they’ve been keeping people on their plan during the pandemic regardless. My understanding is that after May 11th, they will no longer provide coverage for folks who don’t technically qualify.",
">\n\n1.1 million people unavailable for comment due to unspecified illness",
">\n\nThat's for the world. The 1.1 million for the US is probably fairly close, as opposed to say India where the excess deaths are about 10x the reported COVID deaths.",
">\n\nI think the US count is still off by hundreds of thousands if you look at excess mortality.",
">\n\nmillions - it doesn't take into account just how many people are living off the counts",
">\n\nWeird because that's my birthday.\nAnyway, whoever reads this, I hope you have a good and prosperous 2023.",
">\n\nThank you so much!",
">\n\nWelp ok. I currently have Covid. It's not bad, but I have missed work now for 7 days. Cough, congestion, exhaustion, yet no fever. Will this be like the flu from now on? Who knows. I just don't know what to do.",
">\n\nMost of us are mainly concerned because the \"new norm\" is just the status quo with no increased safety nets for a disease that is still much more than the flu. Covid will cause people to lose jobs and more without the protection because we learned nothing and put nothing into place. Collectively. Individually I can protect myself but that is little comfort if I get long covid and lose my job.",
">\n\nA proper road ahead is pretty clear it. The road has just been heavily sabotaged with politics and misinformation. Covid will hurt a lot of people in the US because of this, somewhat, forced designation removal.\nFor the pragmatic individuals like myself we see the road that is paved with politics, misinformation and good ol American stubbornness having a huge hole in it when it comes to the \"next thing\". If we, for example, get a disease in the h1n1 levels of virility as the \"next one\" A LOT of people are going to die because of bad lessons learned from this go around.",
">\n\n\nA proper road ahead is pretty clear\n\nOK, but what is it?",
">\n\nCongrats to COVID for winning the war on COVID."
] |
>
Y'all know you can still take precautions against COVID without there being emergency declarations right? | [
"Of all the stock photos of people wearing masks they could choose from, they pick the one with a guy wearing a Porn Hub hat.",
">\n\nNow let’s ask why the fuck he’s wearing a pornhub hat lol. When I leave the house I might put on a Duluth Trading Company hat, that’s a brand I like. Or a University of Wisconsin hat, a school I support. But this guy loves jerking off so much that he wears clothing repping his favorite porn site. You’ve got no choice but to respect that honestly.",
">\n\nOr maybe it is just a spinoff parody hat. Like he is a farmer and it says \"CornBub\".",
">\n\nCorn does have the juice.",
">\n\nI can't imagine a more beautiful thing!",
">\n\nCool now do the ones put in place after 9/11",
">\n\nwill people get dropped from medicaid because of this?",
">\n\nYes, at least where I am they ceased ALL negative actions and renewals for medicaid, while it was still declared an ongoing public health crisis.",
">\n\nThey stopped those protections a while ago here. I just had a client retroactively denied coverage going back to November...",
">\n\nRETROACTIVELY denied?!?? That sounds so evil. :(",
">\n\nInsurance in general is evil :/",
">\n\nBy that, student debt cancellation won’t be a thing.",
">\n\nIsn't the loan repayment pause dependent on the covid emergency declaration as well?",
">\n\nYes. So are the guaranteed sick days, vaccines, medications, hospital stays etc. This will only affect people who are poor and sick. It's not about masks which everyone is pretending. It's about the financial help for the poor and disabled that is being taken away and that's what people are celebrating today.",
">\n\nAlso insurance is more inclined to stamp APPROVED on a lot of the things that are used in bad bouts of COVID. Mostly because the Government has been helping cover some of those costs.\nNow that this is going away, I can assure anyone who gets a bad bout of COVID, your insurance is going to be breaking out the DENIED stamp a lot more often.\nSome of the worse bouts of COVID are six or seven figures. Maybe knock one or two of those digits off with insurance helped by the Government. With this ending, a lot of people are going to be on the hook for that bill now.\nMaybe this is what it takes for people to start treating this pandemic seriously? Million dollar medical bills that will haunt them the rest of their lives. I mean, we're still shedding about 200+ some people a day to COVID. That's ~73k a year. That's twice as many people who die in car wrecks annually and about 20% the rate of people who die from heart disease. That puts it in a firm third place for cause of death in the US.",
">\n\n500+ people a day in the US right now",
">\n\nI mean thank god for those 2 checks we got to help us survive 3 years",
">\n\nAnd then the record inflation, I know they weren't directly related but it made the checks even more meaningless in the long run.",
">\n\nI wonder how this will impact things like loan forgiveness in the courts, which relied on the emergency declaration to get authorization. I have a feeling SCOTUS will give a legally dubious \"it was valid at the time of the order but now the declaration is rescinded, so it would be irrelevant by the time we'd let you do it anyway.\" Thus they don't have to actually decide on whether it was legal and just skip to the boot. They used similar reasoning in other laws they've tossed down in the last decade or so.\nUntil now I thought they were going to toss it down on the basis that \"COVID isn't a big deal anymore,\" and just ignore the emergency declaration - they also used that reasoning in another COVID-related case recently (Gorsuch stood with liberals in opposing that opinion if I recall correctly).",
">\n\nThey specifically put in dates in June for the deadline I believe",
">\n\nWell, they ALSO chose a stock photo of people actually WEARING MASKS!!!",
">\n\nAnd a PornHub baseball cap",
">\n\nThis has real early war on terror \"mission accomplished\" vibes to it.",
">\n\nSince literally before the disaster even began in earnest in America, that's been the message. No wonder we're at 1.1 million deaths and tens of millions with permanent disabilities.",
">\n\npsst: we're also the most obese nation by far, which is a super big risk factor for severe Covid.",
">\n\nI can't read the article but being a caregiver for 2 high risk people, my life won't change. I didn't know there were still protocols in place.",
">\n\nYeah I have family members who have had organ transplants. Zero immune system, produce zero antibodies when vaccinated multiple times. Evushield was pulled because it's not effective. And people don't get it, they act like we're freaks wearing masks still. I have been harassed in public, I was 9 mo pregnant and a man kept banging on my car screaming at me to take off my mask. So I am worried that the state of emergency being changed will just make things worse in terms of respecting people still needing to be careful. I just wish the government cared a little more about the immune compromised, or even just pretended to care.",
">\n\n\nI just wish the government cared a little more about the immune compromised, or even just pretended to care.\n\nThey don't, we have objective evidence they do not now. Anyone in this situation, or caring for someone in this situation is on their own. \nWestern Society has really revealed itself to be an uncaring and selfish construct of humanity through this.",
">\n\nYeah it's really sad, it bothers me how anyone vulnerable is just thrown to the side like they don't matter. It's always been this way here. Look how a lot of nursing homes function.",
">\n\n\nIt's always been this way here.\n\nThis is the personal revelation I have gone through with this. It's not something new, I just didn't understand where we were at, and now that I do, I can't unsee it. \nIt kind of reminds me of Logans run, how everyone was killed off young and didn't really get a chance to understand the reality of their situation. The young and healthy are rarely if ever going to interface with the systems we have in place that are like this, except in extraordinary situations like this one.",
">\n\nNo I'm in a similar boat. I never realized it until very recently, and it's hard to come to terms with. I hope for change but with the current mentality of parents are evil and everyone over 50 is a crazy Trumper, and then no one caring about babies getting sick or people with cancer or pregnant people or organ recipients, i worry it'll get worse before it gets better. Especially with social media breeding such a self centered perspective on life and a sense of self importance. I wonder if it's this way in other countries too or just the US.",
">\n\nIt absolutely is the same way in other countries. It may look a little different, but people have definitely reacted the same way, at least from a logical perspective. \nLook at the Canadian trucker situation, and the Swedish approach to COVID from the start, Q-anon inspired would-be coupers in Germany, etc... \nI don't know how we collectively dig ourselves out of this, but the focus of my life moving forward it to spend what energy and time I have left on this earth trying to figure out what I can do to help move us in that direction. \nWhat I do know is that this is not the way to do things. \nI'm glad you've engaged here, it's always nice to know that there are others out there who are paying attention to things and actually have empathy.",
">\n\nDefinitely, it's been nice chatting with you too. I'm trying to make a difference too, starting within my family while my kids are little and my parents need help, and hopefully finding a way to contribute to change in society too. Take care, stay healthy.",
">\n\nFuck. There goes my Medicaid",
">\n\nAs a student who just got on Medicaid end of last year, could you explain to me why you will lose it? Did you qualify for it during covid but no longer qualify for it now? And with the end of the emergency declarations, it won’t be extended to you?",
">\n\nIf you make over a certain amount of income (in California I think the cutoff is 19K/yr - not sure if it’s different elsewhere) then you don’t qualify for Medicaid, but they’ve been keeping people on their plan during the pandemic regardless. My understanding is that after May 11th, they will no longer provide coverage for folks who don’t technically qualify.",
">\n\n1.1 million people unavailable for comment due to unspecified illness",
">\n\nThat's for the world. The 1.1 million for the US is probably fairly close, as opposed to say India where the excess deaths are about 10x the reported COVID deaths.",
">\n\nI think the US count is still off by hundreds of thousands if you look at excess mortality.",
">\n\nmillions - it doesn't take into account just how many people are living off the counts",
">\n\nWeird because that's my birthday.\nAnyway, whoever reads this, I hope you have a good and prosperous 2023.",
">\n\nThank you so much!",
">\n\nWelp ok. I currently have Covid. It's not bad, but I have missed work now for 7 days. Cough, congestion, exhaustion, yet no fever. Will this be like the flu from now on? Who knows. I just don't know what to do.",
">\n\nMost of us are mainly concerned because the \"new norm\" is just the status quo with no increased safety nets for a disease that is still much more than the flu. Covid will cause people to lose jobs and more without the protection because we learned nothing and put nothing into place. Collectively. Individually I can protect myself but that is little comfort if I get long covid and lose my job.",
">\n\nA proper road ahead is pretty clear it. The road has just been heavily sabotaged with politics and misinformation. Covid will hurt a lot of people in the US because of this, somewhat, forced designation removal.\nFor the pragmatic individuals like myself we see the road that is paved with politics, misinformation and good ol American stubbornness having a huge hole in it when it comes to the \"next thing\". If we, for example, get a disease in the h1n1 levels of virility as the \"next one\" A LOT of people are going to die because of bad lessons learned from this go around.",
">\n\n\nA proper road ahead is pretty clear\n\nOK, but what is it?",
">\n\nCongrats to COVID for winning the war on COVID.",
">\n\nGreat. Once the emergency declarations are lifted we'll just have COVID-19."
] |
>
Sure, but that ain't gonna make the hospitals any less crowded.
Every procedure I've had for the last three years has faced major difficulties in availability thanks to the combination of the pandemic and doctor burnout.
It's the sole reason my right knee is still pitiful human flesh and not kick-ass chrome-plated titanium. | [
"Of all the stock photos of people wearing masks they could choose from, they pick the one with a guy wearing a Porn Hub hat.",
">\n\nNow let’s ask why the fuck he’s wearing a pornhub hat lol. When I leave the house I might put on a Duluth Trading Company hat, that’s a brand I like. Or a University of Wisconsin hat, a school I support. But this guy loves jerking off so much that he wears clothing repping his favorite porn site. You’ve got no choice but to respect that honestly.",
">\n\nOr maybe it is just a spinoff parody hat. Like he is a farmer and it says \"CornBub\".",
">\n\nCorn does have the juice.",
">\n\nI can't imagine a more beautiful thing!",
">\n\nCool now do the ones put in place after 9/11",
">\n\nwill people get dropped from medicaid because of this?",
">\n\nYes, at least where I am they ceased ALL negative actions and renewals for medicaid, while it was still declared an ongoing public health crisis.",
">\n\nThey stopped those protections a while ago here. I just had a client retroactively denied coverage going back to November...",
">\n\nRETROACTIVELY denied?!?? That sounds so evil. :(",
">\n\nInsurance in general is evil :/",
">\n\nBy that, student debt cancellation won’t be a thing.",
">\n\nIsn't the loan repayment pause dependent on the covid emergency declaration as well?",
">\n\nYes. So are the guaranteed sick days, vaccines, medications, hospital stays etc. This will only affect people who are poor and sick. It's not about masks which everyone is pretending. It's about the financial help for the poor and disabled that is being taken away and that's what people are celebrating today.",
">\n\nAlso insurance is more inclined to stamp APPROVED on a lot of the things that are used in bad bouts of COVID. Mostly because the Government has been helping cover some of those costs.\nNow that this is going away, I can assure anyone who gets a bad bout of COVID, your insurance is going to be breaking out the DENIED stamp a lot more often.\nSome of the worse bouts of COVID are six or seven figures. Maybe knock one or two of those digits off with insurance helped by the Government. With this ending, a lot of people are going to be on the hook for that bill now.\nMaybe this is what it takes for people to start treating this pandemic seriously? Million dollar medical bills that will haunt them the rest of their lives. I mean, we're still shedding about 200+ some people a day to COVID. That's ~73k a year. That's twice as many people who die in car wrecks annually and about 20% the rate of people who die from heart disease. That puts it in a firm third place for cause of death in the US.",
">\n\n500+ people a day in the US right now",
">\n\nI mean thank god for those 2 checks we got to help us survive 3 years",
">\n\nAnd then the record inflation, I know they weren't directly related but it made the checks even more meaningless in the long run.",
">\n\nI wonder how this will impact things like loan forgiveness in the courts, which relied on the emergency declaration to get authorization. I have a feeling SCOTUS will give a legally dubious \"it was valid at the time of the order but now the declaration is rescinded, so it would be irrelevant by the time we'd let you do it anyway.\" Thus they don't have to actually decide on whether it was legal and just skip to the boot. They used similar reasoning in other laws they've tossed down in the last decade or so.\nUntil now I thought they were going to toss it down on the basis that \"COVID isn't a big deal anymore,\" and just ignore the emergency declaration - they also used that reasoning in another COVID-related case recently (Gorsuch stood with liberals in opposing that opinion if I recall correctly).",
">\n\nThey specifically put in dates in June for the deadline I believe",
">\n\nWell, they ALSO chose a stock photo of people actually WEARING MASKS!!!",
">\n\nAnd a PornHub baseball cap",
">\n\nThis has real early war on terror \"mission accomplished\" vibes to it.",
">\n\nSince literally before the disaster even began in earnest in America, that's been the message. No wonder we're at 1.1 million deaths and tens of millions with permanent disabilities.",
">\n\npsst: we're also the most obese nation by far, which is a super big risk factor for severe Covid.",
">\n\nI can't read the article but being a caregiver for 2 high risk people, my life won't change. I didn't know there were still protocols in place.",
">\n\nYeah I have family members who have had organ transplants. Zero immune system, produce zero antibodies when vaccinated multiple times. Evushield was pulled because it's not effective. And people don't get it, they act like we're freaks wearing masks still. I have been harassed in public, I was 9 mo pregnant and a man kept banging on my car screaming at me to take off my mask. So I am worried that the state of emergency being changed will just make things worse in terms of respecting people still needing to be careful. I just wish the government cared a little more about the immune compromised, or even just pretended to care.",
">\n\n\nI just wish the government cared a little more about the immune compromised, or even just pretended to care.\n\nThey don't, we have objective evidence they do not now. Anyone in this situation, or caring for someone in this situation is on their own. \nWestern Society has really revealed itself to be an uncaring and selfish construct of humanity through this.",
">\n\nYeah it's really sad, it bothers me how anyone vulnerable is just thrown to the side like they don't matter. It's always been this way here. Look how a lot of nursing homes function.",
">\n\n\nIt's always been this way here.\n\nThis is the personal revelation I have gone through with this. It's not something new, I just didn't understand where we were at, and now that I do, I can't unsee it. \nIt kind of reminds me of Logans run, how everyone was killed off young and didn't really get a chance to understand the reality of their situation. The young and healthy are rarely if ever going to interface with the systems we have in place that are like this, except in extraordinary situations like this one.",
">\n\nNo I'm in a similar boat. I never realized it until very recently, and it's hard to come to terms with. I hope for change but with the current mentality of parents are evil and everyone over 50 is a crazy Trumper, and then no one caring about babies getting sick or people with cancer or pregnant people or organ recipients, i worry it'll get worse before it gets better. Especially with social media breeding such a self centered perspective on life and a sense of self importance. I wonder if it's this way in other countries too or just the US.",
">\n\nIt absolutely is the same way in other countries. It may look a little different, but people have definitely reacted the same way, at least from a logical perspective. \nLook at the Canadian trucker situation, and the Swedish approach to COVID from the start, Q-anon inspired would-be coupers in Germany, etc... \nI don't know how we collectively dig ourselves out of this, but the focus of my life moving forward it to spend what energy and time I have left on this earth trying to figure out what I can do to help move us in that direction. \nWhat I do know is that this is not the way to do things. \nI'm glad you've engaged here, it's always nice to know that there are others out there who are paying attention to things and actually have empathy.",
">\n\nDefinitely, it's been nice chatting with you too. I'm trying to make a difference too, starting within my family while my kids are little and my parents need help, and hopefully finding a way to contribute to change in society too. Take care, stay healthy.",
">\n\nFuck. There goes my Medicaid",
">\n\nAs a student who just got on Medicaid end of last year, could you explain to me why you will lose it? Did you qualify for it during covid but no longer qualify for it now? And with the end of the emergency declarations, it won’t be extended to you?",
">\n\nIf you make over a certain amount of income (in California I think the cutoff is 19K/yr - not sure if it’s different elsewhere) then you don’t qualify for Medicaid, but they’ve been keeping people on their plan during the pandemic regardless. My understanding is that after May 11th, they will no longer provide coverage for folks who don’t technically qualify.",
">\n\n1.1 million people unavailable for comment due to unspecified illness",
">\n\nThat's for the world. The 1.1 million for the US is probably fairly close, as opposed to say India where the excess deaths are about 10x the reported COVID deaths.",
">\n\nI think the US count is still off by hundreds of thousands if you look at excess mortality.",
">\n\nmillions - it doesn't take into account just how many people are living off the counts",
">\n\nWeird because that's my birthday.\nAnyway, whoever reads this, I hope you have a good and prosperous 2023.",
">\n\nThank you so much!",
">\n\nWelp ok. I currently have Covid. It's not bad, but I have missed work now for 7 days. Cough, congestion, exhaustion, yet no fever. Will this be like the flu from now on? Who knows. I just don't know what to do.",
">\n\nMost of us are mainly concerned because the \"new norm\" is just the status quo with no increased safety nets for a disease that is still much more than the flu. Covid will cause people to lose jobs and more without the protection because we learned nothing and put nothing into place. Collectively. Individually I can protect myself but that is little comfort if I get long covid and lose my job.",
">\n\nA proper road ahead is pretty clear it. The road has just been heavily sabotaged with politics and misinformation. Covid will hurt a lot of people in the US because of this, somewhat, forced designation removal.\nFor the pragmatic individuals like myself we see the road that is paved with politics, misinformation and good ol American stubbornness having a huge hole in it when it comes to the \"next thing\". If we, for example, get a disease in the h1n1 levels of virility as the \"next one\" A LOT of people are going to die because of bad lessons learned from this go around.",
">\n\n\nA proper road ahead is pretty clear\n\nOK, but what is it?",
">\n\nCongrats to COVID for winning the war on COVID.",
">\n\nGreat. Once the emergency declarations are lifted we'll just have COVID-19.",
">\n\nY'all know you can still take precautions against COVID without there being emergency declarations right?"
] |
>
Are the emergency declarations making the hospitals less crowded? | [
"Of all the stock photos of people wearing masks they could choose from, they pick the one with a guy wearing a Porn Hub hat.",
">\n\nNow let’s ask why the fuck he’s wearing a pornhub hat lol. When I leave the house I might put on a Duluth Trading Company hat, that’s a brand I like. Or a University of Wisconsin hat, a school I support. But this guy loves jerking off so much that he wears clothing repping his favorite porn site. You’ve got no choice but to respect that honestly.",
">\n\nOr maybe it is just a spinoff parody hat. Like he is a farmer and it says \"CornBub\".",
">\n\nCorn does have the juice.",
">\n\nI can't imagine a more beautiful thing!",
">\n\nCool now do the ones put in place after 9/11",
">\n\nwill people get dropped from medicaid because of this?",
">\n\nYes, at least where I am they ceased ALL negative actions and renewals for medicaid, while it was still declared an ongoing public health crisis.",
">\n\nThey stopped those protections a while ago here. I just had a client retroactively denied coverage going back to November...",
">\n\nRETROACTIVELY denied?!?? That sounds so evil. :(",
">\n\nInsurance in general is evil :/",
">\n\nBy that, student debt cancellation won’t be a thing.",
">\n\nIsn't the loan repayment pause dependent on the covid emergency declaration as well?",
">\n\nYes. So are the guaranteed sick days, vaccines, medications, hospital stays etc. This will only affect people who are poor and sick. It's not about masks which everyone is pretending. It's about the financial help for the poor and disabled that is being taken away and that's what people are celebrating today.",
">\n\nAlso insurance is more inclined to stamp APPROVED on a lot of the things that are used in bad bouts of COVID. Mostly because the Government has been helping cover some of those costs.\nNow that this is going away, I can assure anyone who gets a bad bout of COVID, your insurance is going to be breaking out the DENIED stamp a lot more often.\nSome of the worse bouts of COVID are six or seven figures. Maybe knock one or two of those digits off with insurance helped by the Government. With this ending, a lot of people are going to be on the hook for that bill now.\nMaybe this is what it takes for people to start treating this pandemic seriously? Million dollar medical bills that will haunt them the rest of their lives. I mean, we're still shedding about 200+ some people a day to COVID. That's ~73k a year. That's twice as many people who die in car wrecks annually and about 20% the rate of people who die from heart disease. That puts it in a firm third place for cause of death in the US.",
">\n\n500+ people a day in the US right now",
">\n\nI mean thank god for those 2 checks we got to help us survive 3 years",
">\n\nAnd then the record inflation, I know they weren't directly related but it made the checks even more meaningless in the long run.",
">\n\nI wonder how this will impact things like loan forgiveness in the courts, which relied on the emergency declaration to get authorization. I have a feeling SCOTUS will give a legally dubious \"it was valid at the time of the order but now the declaration is rescinded, so it would be irrelevant by the time we'd let you do it anyway.\" Thus they don't have to actually decide on whether it was legal and just skip to the boot. They used similar reasoning in other laws they've tossed down in the last decade or so.\nUntil now I thought they were going to toss it down on the basis that \"COVID isn't a big deal anymore,\" and just ignore the emergency declaration - they also used that reasoning in another COVID-related case recently (Gorsuch stood with liberals in opposing that opinion if I recall correctly).",
">\n\nThey specifically put in dates in June for the deadline I believe",
">\n\nWell, they ALSO chose a stock photo of people actually WEARING MASKS!!!",
">\n\nAnd a PornHub baseball cap",
">\n\nThis has real early war on terror \"mission accomplished\" vibes to it.",
">\n\nSince literally before the disaster even began in earnest in America, that's been the message. No wonder we're at 1.1 million deaths and tens of millions with permanent disabilities.",
">\n\npsst: we're also the most obese nation by far, which is a super big risk factor for severe Covid.",
">\n\nI can't read the article but being a caregiver for 2 high risk people, my life won't change. I didn't know there were still protocols in place.",
">\n\nYeah I have family members who have had organ transplants. Zero immune system, produce zero antibodies when vaccinated multiple times. Evushield was pulled because it's not effective. And people don't get it, they act like we're freaks wearing masks still. I have been harassed in public, I was 9 mo pregnant and a man kept banging on my car screaming at me to take off my mask. So I am worried that the state of emergency being changed will just make things worse in terms of respecting people still needing to be careful. I just wish the government cared a little more about the immune compromised, or even just pretended to care.",
">\n\n\nI just wish the government cared a little more about the immune compromised, or even just pretended to care.\n\nThey don't, we have objective evidence they do not now. Anyone in this situation, or caring for someone in this situation is on their own. \nWestern Society has really revealed itself to be an uncaring and selfish construct of humanity through this.",
">\n\nYeah it's really sad, it bothers me how anyone vulnerable is just thrown to the side like they don't matter. It's always been this way here. Look how a lot of nursing homes function.",
">\n\n\nIt's always been this way here.\n\nThis is the personal revelation I have gone through with this. It's not something new, I just didn't understand where we were at, and now that I do, I can't unsee it. \nIt kind of reminds me of Logans run, how everyone was killed off young and didn't really get a chance to understand the reality of their situation. The young and healthy are rarely if ever going to interface with the systems we have in place that are like this, except in extraordinary situations like this one.",
">\n\nNo I'm in a similar boat. I never realized it until very recently, and it's hard to come to terms with. I hope for change but with the current mentality of parents are evil and everyone over 50 is a crazy Trumper, and then no one caring about babies getting sick or people with cancer or pregnant people or organ recipients, i worry it'll get worse before it gets better. Especially with social media breeding such a self centered perspective on life and a sense of self importance. I wonder if it's this way in other countries too or just the US.",
">\n\nIt absolutely is the same way in other countries. It may look a little different, but people have definitely reacted the same way, at least from a logical perspective. \nLook at the Canadian trucker situation, and the Swedish approach to COVID from the start, Q-anon inspired would-be coupers in Germany, etc... \nI don't know how we collectively dig ourselves out of this, but the focus of my life moving forward it to spend what energy and time I have left on this earth trying to figure out what I can do to help move us in that direction. \nWhat I do know is that this is not the way to do things. \nI'm glad you've engaged here, it's always nice to know that there are others out there who are paying attention to things and actually have empathy.",
">\n\nDefinitely, it's been nice chatting with you too. I'm trying to make a difference too, starting within my family while my kids are little and my parents need help, and hopefully finding a way to contribute to change in society too. Take care, stay healthy.",
">\n\nFuck. There goes my Medicaid",
">\n\nAs a student who just got on Medicaid end of last year, could you explain to me why you will lose it? Did you qualify for it during covid but no longer qualify for it now? And with the end of the emergency declarations, it won’t be extended to you?",
">\n\nIf you make over a certain amount of income (in California I think the cutoff is 19K/yr - not sure if it’s different elsewhere) then you don’t qualify for Medicaid, but they’ve been keeping people on their plan during the pandemic regardless. My understanding is that after May 11th, they will no longer provide coverage for folks who don’t technically qualify.",
">\n\n1.1 million people unavailable for comment due to unspecified illness",
">\n\nThat's for the world. The 1.1 million for the US is probably fairly close, as opposed to say India where the excess deaths are about 10x the reported COVID deaths.",
">\n\nI think the US count is still off by hundreds of thousands if you look at excess mortality.",
">\n\nmillions - it doesn't take into account just how many people are living off the counts",
">\n\nWeird because that's my birthday.\nAnyway, whoever reads this, I hope you have a good and prosperous 2023.",
">\n\nThank you so much!",
">\n\nWelp ok. I currently have Covid. It's not bad, but I have missed work now for 7 days. Cough, congestion, exhaustion, yet no fever. Will this be like the flu from now on? Who knows. I just don't know what to do.",
">\n\nMost of us are mainly concerned because the \"new norm\" is just the status quo with no increased safety nets for a disease that is still much more than the flu. Covid will cause people to lose jobs and more without the protection because we learned nothing and put nothing into place. Collectively. Individually I can protect myself but that is little comfort if I get long covid and lose my job.",
">\n\nA proper road ahead is pretty clear it. The road has just been heavily sabotaged with politics and misinformation. Covid will hurt a lot of people in the US because of this, somewhat, forced designation removal.\nFor the pragmatic individuals like myself we see the road that is paved with politics, misinformation and good ol American stubbornness having a huge hole in it when it comes to the \"next thing\". If we, for example, get a disease in the h1n1 levels of virility as the \"next one\" A LOT of people are going to die because of bad lessons learned from this go around.",
">\n\n\nA proper road ahead is pretty clear\n\nOK, but what is it?",
">\n\nCongrats to COVID for winning the war on COVID.",
">\n\nGreat. Once the emergency declarations are lifted we'll just have COVID-19.",
">\n\nY'all know you can still take precautions against COVID without there being emergency declarations right?",
">\n\nSure, but that ain't gonna make the hospitals any less crowded. \nEvery procedure I've had for the last three years has faced major difficulties in availability thanks to the combination of the pandemic and doctor burnout. \nIt's the sole reason my right knee is still pitiful human flesh and not kick-ass chrome-plated titanium."
] |
>
I honestly don't know what these people actually want. We are 3 years out now and I see maybe 5% masked out in public. Everyone who wanted to get the vaccine has received it. People are over it, we have done what we can do. China stayed isolated indoors for 3 years and is currently getting overrun, I'm not sure what people who complain about removing the emergency declaration are actually wanting the government to do for them?
Just wear a mask in public and avoid people, if that's what you want to do. | [
"Of all the stock photos of people wearing masks they could choose from, they pick the one with a guy wearing a Porn Hub hat.",
">\n\nNow let’s ask why the fuck he’s wearing a pornhub hat lol. When I leave the house I might put on a Duluth Trading Company hat, that’s a brand I like. Or a University of Wisconsin hat, a school I support. But this guy loves jerking off so much that he wears clothing repping his favorite porn site. You’ve got no choice but to respect that honestly.",
">\n\nOr maybe it is just a spinoff parody hat. Like he is a farmer and it says \"CornBub\".",
">\n\nCorn does have the juice.",
">\n\nI can't imagine a more beautiful thing!",
">\n\nCool now do the ones put in place after 9/11",
">\n\nwill people get dropped from medicaid because of this?",
">\n\nYes, at least where I am they ceased ALL negative actions and renewals for medicaid, while it was still declared an ongoing public health crisis.",
">\n\nThey stopped those protections a while ago here. I just had a client retroactively denied coverage going back to November...",
">\n\nRETROACTIVELY denied?!?? That sounds so evil. :(",
">\n\nInsurance in general is evil :/",
">\n\nBy that, student debt cancellation won’t be a thing.",
">\n\nIsn't the loan repayment pause dependent on the covid emergency declaration as well?",
">\n\nYes. So are the guaranteed sick days, vaccines, medications, hospital stays etc. This will only affect people who are poor and sick. It's not about masks which everyone is pretending. It's about the financial help for the poor and disabled that is being taken away and that's what people are celebrating today.",
">\n\nAlso insurance is more inclined to stamp APPROVED on a lot of the things that are used in bad bouts of COVID. Mostly because the Government has been helping cover some of those costs.\nNow that this is going away, I can assure anyone who gets a bad bout of COVID, your insurance is going to be breaking out the DENIED stamp a lot more often.\nSome of the worse bouts of COVID are six or seven figures. Maybe knock one or two of those digits off with insurance helped by the Government. With this ending, a lot of people are going to be on the hook for that bill now.\nMaybe this is what it takes for people to start treating this pandemic seriously? Million dollar medical bills that will haunt them the rest of their lives. I mean, we're still shedding about 200+ some people a day to COVID. That's ~73k a year. That's twice as many people who die in car wrecks annually and about 20% the rate of people who die from heart disease. That puts it in a firm third place for cause of death in the US.",
">\n\n500+ people a day in the US right now",
">\n\nI mean thank god for those 2 checks we got to help us survive 3 years",
">\n\nAnd then the record inflation, I know they weren't directly related but it made the checks even more meaningless in the long run.",
">\n\nI wonder how this will impact things like loan forgiveness in the courts, which relied on the emergency declaration to get authorization. I have a feeling SCOTUS will give a legally dubious \"it was valid at the time of the order but now the declaration is rescinded, so it would be irrelevant by the time we'd let you do it anyway.\" Thus they don't have to actually decide on whether it was legal and just skip to the boot. They used similar reasoning in other laws they've tossed down in the last decade or so.\nUntil now I thought they were going to toss it down on the basis that \"COVID isn't a big deal anymore,\" and just ignore the emergency declaration - they also used that reasoning in another COVID-related case recently (Gorsuch stood with liberals in opposing that opinion if I recall correctly).",
">\n\nThey specifically put in dates in June for the deadline I believe",
">\n\nWell, they ALSO chose a stock photo of people actually WEARING MASKS!!!",
">\n\nAnd a PornHub baseball cap",
">\n\nThis has real early war on terror \"mission accomplished\" vibes to it.",
">\n\nSince literally before the disaster even began in earnest in America, that's been the message. No wonder we're at 1.1 million deaths and tens of millions with permanent disabilities.",
">\n\npsst: we're also the most obese nation by far, which is a super big risk factor for severe Covid.",
">\n\nI can't read the article but being a caregiver for 2 high risk people, my life won't change. I didn't know there were still protocols in place.",
">\n\nYeah I have family members who have had organ transplants. Zero immune system, produce zero antibodies when vaccinated multiple times. Evushield was pulled because it's not effective. And people don't get it, they act like we're freaks wearing masks still. I have been harassed in public, I was 9 mo pregnant and a man kept banging on my car screaming at me to take off my mask. So I am worried that the state of emergency being changed will just make things worse in terms of respecting people still needing to be careful. I just wish the government cared a little more about the immune compromised, or even just pretended to care.",
">\n\n\nI just wish the government cared a little more about the immune compromised, or even just pretended to care.\n\nThey don't, we have objective evidence they do not now. Anyone in this situation, or caring for someone in this situation is on their own. \nWestern Society has really revealed itself to be an uncaring and selfish construct of humanity through this.",
">\n\nYeah it's really sad, it bothers me how anyone vulnerable is just thrown to the side like they don't matter. It's always been this way here. Look how a lot of nursing homes function.",
">\n\n\nIt's always been this way here.\n\nThis is the personal revelation I have gone through with this. It's not something new, I just didn't understand where we were at, and now that I do, I can't unsee it. \nIt kind of reminds me of Logans run, how everyone was killed off young and didn't really get a chance to understand the reality of their situation. The young and healthy are rarely if ever going to interface with the systems we have in place that are like this, except in extraordinary situations like this one.",
">\n\nNo I'm in a similar boat. I never realized it until very recently, and it's hard to come to terms with. I hope for change but with the current mentality of parents are evil and everyone over 50 is a crazy Trumper, and then no one caring about babies getting sick or people with cancer or pregnant people or organ recipients, i worry it'll get worse before it gets better. Especially with social media breeding such a self centered perspective on life and a sense of self importance. I wonder if it's this way in other countries too or just the US.",
">\n\nIt absolutely is the same way in other countries. It may look a little different, but people have definitely reacted the same way, at least from a logical perspective. \nLook at the Canadian trucker situation, and the Swedish approach to COVID from the start, Q-anon inspired would-be coupers in Germany, etc... \nI don't know how we collectively dig ourselves out of this, but the focus of my life moving forward it to spend what energy and time I have left on this earth trying to figure out what I can do to help move us in that direction. \nWhat I do know is that this is not the way to do things. \nI'm glad you've engaged here, it's always nice to know that there are others out there who are paying attention to things and actually have empathy.",
">\n\nDefinitely, it's been nice chatting with you too. I'm trying to make a difference too, starting within my family while my kids are little and my parents need help, and hopefully finding a way to contribute to change in society too. Take care, stay healthy.",
">\n\nFuck. There goes my Medicaid",
">\n\nAs a student who just got on Medicaid end of last year, could you explain to me why you will lose it? Did you qualify for it during covid but no longer qualify for it now? And with the end of the emergency declarations, it won’t be extended to you?",
">\n\nIf you make over a certain amount of income (in California I think the cutoff is 19K/yr - not sure if it’s different elsewhere) then you don’t qualify for Medicaid, but they’ve been keeping people on their plan during the pandemic regardless. My understanding is that after May 11th, they will no longer provide coverage for folks who don’t technically qualify.",
">\n\n1.1 million people unavailable for comment due to unspecified illness",
">\n\nThat's for the world. The 1.1 million for the US is probably fairly close, as opposed to say India where the excess deaths are about 10x the reported COVID deaths.",
">\n\nI think the US count is still off by hundreds of thousands if you look at excess mortality.",
">\n\nmillions - it doesn't take into account just how many people are living off the counts",
">\n\nWeird because that's my birthday.\nAnyway, whoever reads this, I hope you have a good and prosperous 2023.",
">\n\nThank you so much!",
">\n\nWelp ok. I currently have Covid. It's not bad, but I have missed work now for 7 days. Cough, congestion, exhaustion, yet no fever. Will this be like the flu from now on? Who knows. I just don't know what to do.",
">\n\nMost of us are mainly concerned because the \"new norm\" is just the status quo with no increased safety nets for a disease that is still much more than the flu. Covid will cause people to lose jobs and more without the protection because we learned nothing and put nothing into place. Collectively. Individually I can protect myself but that is little comfort if I get long covid and lose my job.",
">\n\nA proper road ahead is pretty clear it. The road has just been heavily sabotaged with politics and misinformation. Covid will hurt a lot of people in the US because of this, somewhat, forced designation removal.\nFor the pragmatic individuals like myself we see the road that is paved with politics, misinformation and good ol American stubbornness having a huge hole in it when it comes to the \"next thing\". If we, for example, get a disease in the h1n1 levels of virility as the \"next one\" A LOT of people are going to die because of bad lessons learned from this go around.",
">\n\n\nA proper road ahead is pretty clear\n\nOK, but what is it?",
">\n\nCongrats to COVID for winning the war on COVID.",
">\n\nGreat. Once the emergency declarations are lifted we'll just have COVID-19.",
">\n\nY'all know you can still take precautions against COVID without there being emergency declarations right?",
">\n\nSure, but that ain't gonna make the hospitals any less crowded. \nEvery procedure I've had for the last three years has faced major difficulties in availability thanks to the combination of the pandemic and doctor burnout. \nIt's the sole reason my right knee is still pitiful human flesh and not kick-ass chrome-plated titanium.",
">\n\nAre the emergency declarations making the hospitals less crowded?"
] |
>
One of the impacts of removing the declaration is that testing, vaccines, and treatments will no longer be fully covered by private insurance or Medicaid creating a financial burden for many. Keep in mind with the current accessible vaccines yearly injections are recommended for continued coverage. Those that get sick or exposed are still recommended to be tested and receive appropriate treatment. While that was fully covered in the past none of it will be when the declaration ends. Not to mention vaccines, testing, and treatment are all active events people must willingly partake in, the government could’ve required COVID funds be used for passive mitigation efforts like implementing appropriate filtration and sterilization to air systems for schools. Passive mitigation strategies benefit the public health of the community without requiring the community to actually make an effort themselves. Instead COVID funds went to personal pet projects of local politicians. | [
"Of all the stock photos of people wearing masks they could choose from, they pick the one with a guy wearing a Porn Hub hat.",
">\n\nNow let’s ask why the fuck he’s wearing a pornhub hat lol. When I leave the house I might put on a Duluth Trading Company hat, that’s a brand I like. Or a University of Wisconsin hat, a school I support. But this guy loves jerking off so much that he wears clothing repping his favorite porn site. You’ve got no choice but to respect that honestly.",
">\n\nOr maybe it is just a spinoff parody hat. Like he is a farmer and it says \"CornBub\".",
">\n\nCorn does have the juice.",
">\n\nI can't imagine a more beautiful thing!",
">\n\nCool now do the ones put in place after 9/11",
">\n\nwill people get dropped from medicaid because of this?",
">\n\nYes, at least where I am they ceased ALL negative actions and renewals for medicaid, while it was still declared an ongoing public health crisis.",
">\n\nThey stopped those protections a while ago here. I just had a client retroactively denied coverage going back to November...",
">\n\nRETROACTIVELY denied?!?? That sounds so evil. :(",
">\n\nInsurance in general is evil :/",
">\n\nBy that, student debt cancellation won’t be a thing.",
">\n\nIsn't the loan repayment pause dependent on the covid emergency declaration as well?",
">\n\nYes. So are the guaranteed sick days, vaccines, medications, hospital stays etc. This will only affect people who are poor and sick. It's not about masks which everyone is pretending. It's about the financial help for the poor and disabled that is being taken away and that's what people are celebrating today.",
">\n\nAlso insurance is more inclined to stamp APPROVED on a lot of the things that are used in bad bouts of COVID. Mostly because the Government has been helping cover some of those costs.\nNow that this is going away, I can assure anyone who gets a bad bout of COVID, your insurance is going to be breaking out the DENIED stamp a lot more often.\nSome of the worse bouts of COVID are six or seven figures. Maybe knock one or two of those digits off with insurance helped by the Government. With this ending, a lot of people are going to be on the hook for that bill now.\nMaybe this is what it takes for people to start treating this pandemic seriously? Million dollar medical bills that will haunt them the rest of their lives. I mean, we're still shedding about 200+ some people a day to COVID. That's ~73k a year. That's twice as many people who die in car wrecks annually and about 20% the rate of people who die from heart disease. That puts it in a firm third place for cause of death in the US.",
">\n\n500+ people a day in the US right now",
">\n\nI mean thank god for those 2 checks we got to help us survive 3 years",
">\n\nAnd then the record inflation, I know they weren't directly related but it made the checks even more meaningless in the long run.",
">\n\nI wonder how this will impact things like loan forgiveness in the courts, which relied on the emergency declaration to get authorization. I have a feeling SCOTUS will give a legally dubious \"it was valid at the time of the order but now the declaration is rescinded, so it would be irrelevant by the time we'd let you do it anyway.\" Thus they don't have to actually decide on whether it was legal and just skip to the boot. They used similar reasoning in other laws they've tossed down in the last decade or so.\nUntil now I thought they were going to toss it down on the basis that \"COVID isn't a big deal anymore,\" and just ignore the emergency declaration - they also used that reasoning in another COVID-related case recently (Gorsuch stood with liberals in opposing that opinion if I recall correctly).",
">\n\nThey specifically put in dates in June for the deadline I believe",
">\n\nWell, they ALSO chose a stock photo of people actually WEARING MASKS!!!",
">\n\nAnd a PornHub baseball cap",
">\n\nThis has real early war on terror \"mission accomplished\" vibes to it.",
">\n\nSince literally before the disaster even began in earnest in America, that's been the message. No wonder we're at 1.1 million deaths and tens of millions with permanent disabilities.",
">\n\npsst: we're also the most obese nation by far, which is a super big risk factor for severe Covid.",
">\n\nI can't read the article but being a caregiver for 2 high risk people, my life won't change. I didn't know there were still protocols in place.",
">\n\nYeah I have family members who have had organ transplants. Zero immune system, produce zero antibodies when vaccinated multiple times. Evushield was pulled because it's not effective. And people don't get it, they act like we're freaks wearing masks still. I have been harassed in public, I was 9 mo pregnant and a man kept banging on my car screaming at me to take off my mask. So I am worried that the state of emergency being changed will just make things worse in terms of respecting people still needing to be careful. I just wish the government cared a little more about the immune compromised, or even just pretended to care.",
">\n\n\nI just wish the government cared a little more about the immune compromised, or even just pretended to care.\n\nThey don't, we have objective evidence they do not now. Anyone in this situation, or caring for someone in this situation is on their own. \nWestern Society has really revealed itself to be an uncaring and selfish construct of humanity through this.",
">\n\nYeah it's really sad, it bothers me how anyone vulnerable is just thrown to the side like they don't matter. It's always been this way here. Look how a lot of nursing homes function.",
">\n\n\nIt's always been this way here.\n\nThis is the personal revelation I have gone through with this. It's not something new, I just didn't understand where we were at, and now that I do, I can't unsee it. \nIt kind of reminds me of Logans run, how everyone was killed off young and didn't really get a chance to understand the reality of their situation. The young and healthy are rarely if ever going to interface with the systems we have in place that are like this, except in extraordinary situations like this one.",
">\n\nNo I'm in a similar boat. I never realized it until very recently, and it's hard to come to terms with. I hope for change but with the current mentality of parents are evil and everyone over 50 is a crazy Trumper, and then no one caring about babies getting sick or people with cancer or pregnant people or organ recipients, i worry it'll get worse before it gets better. Especially with social media breeding such a self centered perspective on life and a sense of self importance. I wonder if it's this way in other countries too or just the US.",
">\n\nIt absolutely is the same way in other countries. It may look a little different, but people have definitely reacted the same way, at least from a logical perspective. \nLook at the Canadian trucker situation, and the Swedish approach to COVID from the start, Q-anon inspired would-be coupers in Germany, etc... \nI don't know how we collectively dig ourselves out of this, but the focus of my life moving forward it to spend what energy and time I have left on this earth trying to figure out what I can do to help move us in that direction. \nWhat I do know is that this is not the way to do things. \nI'm glad you've engaged here, it's always nice to know that there are others out there who are paying attention to things and actually have empathy.",
">\n\nDefinitely, it's been nice chatting with you too. I'm trying to make a difference too, starting within my family while my kids are little and my parents need help, and hopefully finding a way to contribute to change in society too. Take care, stay healthy.",
">\n\nFuck. There goes my Medicaid",
">\n\nAs a student who just got on Medicaid end of last year, could you explain to me why you will lose it? Did you qualify for it during covid but no longer qualify for it now? And with the end of the emergency declarations, it won’t be extended to you?",
">\n\nIf you make over a certain amount of income (in California I think the cutoff is 19K/yr - not sure if it’s different elsewhere) then you don’t qualify for Medicaid, but they’ve been keeping people on their plan during the pandemic regardless. My understanding is that after May 11th, they will no longer provide coverage for folks who don’t technically qualify.",
">\n\n1.1 million people unavailable for comment due to unspecified illness",
">\n\nThat's for the world. The 1.1 million for the US is probably fairly close, as opposed to say India where the excess deaths are about 10x the reported COVID deaths.",
">\n\nI think the US count is still off by hundreds of thousands if you look at excess mortality.",
">\n\nmillions - it doesn't take into account just how many people are living off the counts",
">\n\nWeird because that's my birthday.\nAnyway, whoever reads this, I hope you have a good and prosperous 2023.",
">\n\nThank you so much!",
">\n\nWelp ok. I currently have Covid. It's not bad, but I have missed work now for 7 days. Cough, congestion, exhaustion, yet no fever. Will this be like the flu from now on? Who knows. I just don't know what to do.",
">\n\nMost of us are mainly concerned because the \"new norm\" is just the status quo with no increased safety nets for a disease that is still much more than the flu. Covid will cause people to lose jobs and more without the protection because we learned nothing and put nothing into place. Collectively. Individually I can protect myself but that is little comfort if I get long covid and lose my job.",
">\n\nA proper road ahead is pretty clear it. The road has just been heavily sabotaged with politics and misinformation. Covid will hurt a lot of people in the US because of this, somewhat, forced designation removal.\nFor the pragmatic individuals like myself we see the road that is paved with politics, misinformation and good ol American stubbornness having a huge hole in it when it comes to the \"next thing\". If we, for example, get a disease in the h1n1 levels of virility as the \"next one\" A LOT of people are going to die because of bad lessons learned from this go around.",
">\n\n\nA proper road ahead is pretty clear\n\nOK, but what is it?",
">\n\nCongrats to COVID for winning the war on COVID.",
">\n\nGreat. Once the emergency declarations are lifted we'll just have COVID-19.",
">\n\nY'all know you can still take precautions against COVID without there being emergency declarations right?",
">\n\nSure, but that ain't gonna make the hospitals any less crowded. \nEvery procedure I've had for the last three years has faced major difficulties in availability thanks to the combination of the pandemic and doctor burnout. \nIt's the sole reason my right knee is still pitiful human flesh and not kick-ass chrome-plated titanium.",
">\n\nAre the emergency declarations making the hospitals less crowded?",
">\n\nI honestly don't know what these people actually want. We are 3 years out now and I see maybe 5% masked out in public. Everyone who wanted to get the vaccine has received it. People are over it, we have done what we can do. China stayed isolated indoors for 3 years and is currently getting overrun, I'm not sure what people who complain about removing the emergency declaration are actually wanting the government to do for them?\nJust wear a mask in public and avoid people, if that's what you want to do."
] |
>
One of the impacts of removing the declaration is that ... vaccines ... will no longer be fully covered by private insurance or Medicaid creating a financial burden for many.
Who pays for my free yearly flu vaccine, or the whole host of vaccines my children have received since they were born? I would imagine, with the recent guidance on yearly COVID vaccines, it would be covered the same as all the others we receive through our life. | [
"Of all the stock photos of people wearing masks they could choose from, they pick the one with a guy wearing a Porn Hub hat.",
">\n\nNow let’s ask why the fuck he’s wearing a pornhub hat lol. When I leave the house I might put on a Duluth Trading Company hat, that’s a brand I like. Or a University of Wisconsin hat, a school I support. But this guy loves jerking off so much that he wears clothing repping his favorite porn site. You’ve got no choice but to respect that honestly.",
">\n\nOr maybe it is just a spinoff parody hat. Like he is a farmer and it says \"CornBub\".",
">\n\nCorn does have the juice.",
">\n\nI can't imagine a more beautiful thing!",
">\n\nCool now do the ones put in place after 9/11",
">\n\nwill people get dropped from medicaid because of this?",
">\n\nYes, at least where I am they ceased ALL negative actions and renewals for medicaid, while it was still declared an ongoing public health crisis.",
">\n\nThey stopped those protections a while ago here. I just had a client retroactively denied coverage going back to November...",
">\n\nRETROACTIVELY denied?!?? That sounds so evil. :(",
">\n\nInsurance in general is evil :/",
">\n\nBy that, student debt cancellation won’t be a thing.",
">\n\nIsn't the loan repayment pause dependent on the covid emergency declaration as well?",
">\n\nYes. So are the guaranteed sick days, vaccines, medications, hospital stays etc. This will only affect people who are poor and sick. It's not about masks which everyone is pretending. It's about the financial help for the poor and disabled that is being taken away and that's what people are celebrating today.",
">\n\nAlso insurance is more inclined to stamp APPROVED on a lot of the things that are used in bad bouts of COVID. Mostly because the Government has been helping cover some of those costs.\nNow that this is going away, I can assure anyone who gets a bad bout of COVID, your insurance is going to be breaking out the DENIED stamp a lot more often.\nSome of the worse bouts of COVID are six or seven figures. Maybe knock one or two of those digits off with insurance helped by the Government. With this ending, a lot of people are going to be on the hook for that bill now.\nMaybe this is what it takes for people to start treating this pandemic seriously? Million dollar medical bills that will haunt them the rest of their lives. I mean, we're still shedding about 200+ some people a day to COVID. That's ~73k a year. That's twice as many people who die in car wrecks annually and about 20% the rate of people who die from heart disease. That puts it in a firm third place for cause of death in the US.",
">\n\n500+ people a day in the US right now",
">\n\nI mean thank god for those 2 checks we got to help us survive 3 years",
">\n\nAnd then the record inflation, I know they weren't directly related but it made the checks even more meaningless in the long run.",
">\n\nI wonder how this will impact things like loan forgiveness in the courts, which relied on the emergency declaration to get authorization. I have a feeling SCOTUS will give a legally dubious \"it was valid at the time of the order but now the declaration is rescinded, so it would be irrelevant by the time we'd let you do it anyway.\" Thus they don't have to actually decide on whether it was legal and just skip to the boot. They used similar reasoning in other laws they've tossed down in the last decade or so.\nUntil now I thought they were going to toss it down on the basis that \"COVID isn't a big deal anymore,\" and just ignore the emergency declaration - they also used that reasoning in another COVID-related case recently (Gorsuch stood with liberals in opposing that opinion if I recall correctly).",
">\n\nThey specifically put in dates in June for the deadline I believe",
">\n\nWell, they ALSO chose a stock photo of people actually WEARING MASKS!!!",
">\n\nAnd a PornHub baseball cap",
">\n\nThis has real early war on terror \"mission accomplished\" vibes to it.",
">\n\nSince literally before the disaster even began in earnest in America, that's been the message. No wonder we're at 1.1 million deaths and tens of millions with permanent disabilities.",
">\n\npsst: we're also the most obese nation by far, which is a super big risk factor for severe Covid.",
">\n\nI can't read the article but being a caregiver for 2 high risk people, my life won't change. I didn't know there were still protocols in place.",
">\n\nYeah I have family members who have had organ transplants. Zero immune system, produce zero antibodies when vaccinated multiple times. Evushield was pulled because it's not effective. And people don't get it, they act like we're freaks wearing masks still. I have been harassed in public, I was 9 mo pregnant and a man kept banging on my car screaming at me to take off my mask. So I am worried that the state of emergency being changed will just make things worse in terms of respecting people still needing to be careful. I just wish the government cared a little more about the immune compromised, or even just pretended to care.",
">\n\n\nI just wish the government cared a little more about the immune compromised, or even just pretended to care.\n\nThey don't, we have objective evidence they do not now. Anyone in this situation, or caring for someone in this situation is on their own. \nWestern Society has really revealed itself to be an uncaring and selfish construct of humanity through this.",
">\n\nYeah it's really sad, it bothers me how anyone vulnerable is just thrown to the side like they don't matter. It's always been this way here. Look how a lot of nursing homes function.",
">\n\n\nIt's always been this way here.\n\nThis is the personal revelation I have gone through with this. It's not something new, I just didn't understand where we were at, and now that I do, I can't unsee it. \nIt kind of reminds me of Logans run, how everyone was killed off young and didn't really get a chance to understand the reality of their situation. The young and healthy are rarely if ever going to interface with the systems we have in place that are like this, except in extraordinary situations like this one.",
">\n\nNo I'm in a similar boat. I never realized it until very recently, and it's hard to come to terms with. I hope for change but with the current mentality of parents are evil and everyone over 50 is a crazy Trumper, and then no one caring about babies getting sick or people with cancer or pregnant people or organ recipients, i worry it'll get worse before it gets better. Especially with social media breeding such a self centered perspective on life and a sense of self importance. I wonder if it's this way in other countries too or just the US.",
">\n\nIt absolutely is the same way in other countries. It may look a little different, but people have definitely reacted the same way, at least from a logical perspective. \nLook at the Canadian trucker situation, and the Swedish approach to COVID from the start, Q-anon inspired would-be coupers in Germany, etc... \nI don't know how we collectively dig ourselves out of this, but the focus of my life moving forward it to spend what energy and time I have left on this earth trying to figure out what I can do to help move us in that direction. \nWhat I do know is that this is not the way to do things. \nI'm glad you've engaged here, it's always nice to know that there are others out there who are paying attention to things and actually have empathy.",
">\n\nDefinitely, it's been nice chatting with you too. I'm trying to make a difference too, starting within my family while my kids are little and my parents need help, and hopefully finding a way to contribute to change in society too. Take care, stay healthy.",
">\n\nFuck. There goes my Medicaid",
">\n\nAs a student who just got on Medicaid end of last year, could you explain to me why you will lose it? Did you qualify for it during covid but no longer qualify for it now? And with the end of the emergency declarations, it won’t be extended to you?",
">\n\nIf you make over a certain amount of income (in California I think the cutoff is 19K/yr - not sure if it’s different elsewhere) then you don’t qualify for Medicaid, but they’ve been keeping people on their plan during the pandemic regardless. My understanding is that after May 11th, they will no longer provide coverage for folks who don’t technically qualify.",
">\n\n1.1 million people unavailable for comment due to unspecified illness",
">\n\nThat's for the world. The 1.1 million for the US is probably fairly close, as opposed to say India where the excess deaths are about 10x the reported COVID deaths.",
">\n\nI think the US count is still off by hundreds of thousands if you look at excess mortality.",
">\n\nmillions - it doesn't take into account just how many people are living off the counts",
">\n\nWeird because that's my birthday.\nAnyway, whoever reads this, I hope you have a good and prosperous 2023.",
">\n\nThank you so much!",
">\n\nWelp ok. I currently have Covid. It's not bad, but I have missed work now for 7 days. Cough, congestion, exhaustion, yet no fever. Will this be like the flu from now on? Who knows. I just don't know what to do.",
">\n\nMost of us are mainly concerned because the \"new norm\" is just the status quo with no increased safety nets for a disease that is still much more than the flu. Covid will cause people to lose jobs and more without the protection because we learned nothing and put nothing into place. Collectively. Individually I can protect myself but that is little comfort if I get long covid and lose my job.",
">\n\nA proper road ahead is pretty clear it. The road has just been heavily sabotaged with politics and misinformation. Covid will hurt a lot of people in the US because of this, somewhat, forced designation removal.\nFor the pragmatic individuals like myself we see the road that is paved with politics, misinformation and good ol American stubbornness having a huge hole in it when it comes to the \"next thing\". If we, for example, get a disease in the h1n1 levels of virility as the \"next one\" A LOT of people are going to die because of bad lessons learned from this go around.",
">\n\n\nA proper road ahead is pretty clear\n\nOK, but what is it?",
">\n\nCongrats to COVID for winning the war on COVID.",
">\n\nGreat. Once the emergency declarations are lifted we'll just have COVID-19.",
">\n\nY'all know you can still take precautions against COVID without there being emergency declarations right?",
">\n\nSure, but that ain't gonna make the hospitals any less crowded. \nEvery procedure I've had for the last three years has faced major difficulties in availability thanks to the combination of the pandemic and doctor burnout. \nIt's the sole reason my right knee is still pitiful human flesh and not kick-ass chrome-plated titanium.",
">\n\nAre the emergency declarations making the hospitals less crowded?",
">\n\nI honestly don't know what these people actually want. We are 3 years out now and I see maybe 5% masked out in public. Everyone who wanted to get the vaccine has received it. People are over it, we have done what we can do. China stayed isolated indoors for 3 years and is currently getting overrun, I'm not sure what people who complain about removing the emergency declaration are actually wanting the government to do for them?\nJust wear a mask in public and avoid people, if that's what you want to do.",
">\n\nOne of the impacts of removing the declaration is that testing, vaccines, and treatments will no longer be fully covered by private insurance or Medicaid creating a financial burden for many. Keep in mind with the current accessible vaccines yearly injections are recommended for continued coverage. Those that get sick or exposed are still recommended to be tested and receive appropriate treatment. While that was fully covered in the past none of it will be when the declaration ends. Not to mention vaccines, testing, and treatment are all active events people must willingly partake in, the government could’ve required COVID funds be used for passive mitigation efforts like implementing appropriate filtration and sterilization to air systems for schools. Passive mitigation strategies benefit the public health of the community without requiring the community to actually make an effort themselves. Instead COVID funds went to personal pet projects of local politicians."
] |
>
Not sure of your personal situation but for my family the flu shot was only covered if it was administered in the office of my child’s government selected PCP. Otherwise I was required to pay for the flu shot to be administered at a pharmacy or other location. Her PCP doesn’t carry the flu or COVID shot in office, nor do any of the other pediatricians in our area that are on the state funded health plan. | [
"Of all the stock photos of people wearing masks they could choose from, they pick the one with a guy wearing a Porn Hub hat.",
">\n\nNow let’s ask why the fuck he’s wearing a pornhub hat lol. When I leave the house I might put on a Duluth Trading Company hat, that’s a brand I like. Or a University of Wisconsin hat, a school I support. But this guy loves jerking off so much that he wears clothing repping his favorite porn site. You’ve got no choice but to respect that honestly.",
">\n\nOr maybe it is just a spinoff parody hat. Like he is a farmer and it says \"CornBub\".",
">\n\nCorn does have the juice.",
">\n\nI can't imagine a more beautiful thing!",
">\n\nCool now do the ones put in place after 9/11",
">\n\nwill people get dropped from medicaid because of this?",
">\n\nYes, at least where I am they ceased ALL negative actions and renewals for medicaid, while it was still declared an ongoing public health crisis.",
">\n\nThey stopped those protections a while ago here. I just had a client retroactively denied coverage going back to November...",
">\n\nRETROACTIVELY denied?!?? That sounds so evil. :(",
">\n\nInsurance in general is evil :/",
">\n\nBy that, student debt cancellation won’t be a thing.",
">\n\nIsn't the loan repayment pause dependent on the covid emergency declaration as well?",
">\n\nYes. So are the guaranteed sick days, vaccines, medications, hospital stays etc. This will only affect people who are poor and sick. It's not about masks which everyone is pretending. It's about the financial help for the poor and disabled that is being taken away and that's what people are celebrating today.",
">\n\nAlso insurance is more inclined to stamp APPROVED on a lot of the things that are used in bad bouts of COVID. Mostly because the Government has been helping cover some of those costs.\nNow that this is going away, I can assure anyone who gets a bad bout of COVID, your insurance is going to be breaking out the DENIED stamp a lot more often.\nSome of the worse bouts of COVID are six or seven figures. Maybe knock one or two of those digits off with insurance helped by the Government. With this ending, a lot of people are going to be on the hook for that bill now.\nMaybe this is what it takes for people to start treating this pandemic seriously? Million dollar medical bills that will haunt them the rest of their lives. I mean, we're still shedding about 200+ some people a day to COVID. That's ~73k a year. That's twice as many people who die in car wrecks annually and about 20% the rate of people who die from heart disease. That puts it in a firm third place for cause of death in the US.",
">\n\n500+ people a day in the US right now",
">\n\nI mean thank god for those 2 checks we got to help us survive 3 years",
">\n\nAnd then the record inflation, I know they weren't directly related but it made the checks even more meaningless in the long run.",
">\n\nI wonder how this will impact things like loan forgiveness in the courts, which relied on the emergency declaration to get authorization. I have a feeling SCOTUS will give a legally dubious \"it was valid at the time of the order but now the declaration is rescinded, so it would be irrelevant by the time we'd let you do it anyway.\" Thus they don't have to actually decide on whether it was legal and just skip to the boot. They used similar reasoning in other laws they've tossed down in the last decade or so.\nUntil now I thought they were going to toss it down on the basis that \"COVID isn't a big deal anymore,\" and just ignore the emergency declaration - they also used that reasoning in another COVID-related case recently (Gorsuch stood with liberals in opposing that opinion if I recall correctly).",
">\n\nThey specifically put in dates in June for the deadline I believe",
">\n\nWell, they ALSO chose a stock photo of people actually WEARING MASKS!!!",
">\n\nAnd a PornHub baseball cap",
">\n\nThis has real early war on terror \"mission accomplished\" vibes to it.",
">\n\nSince literally before the disaster even began in earnest in America, that's been the message. No wonder we're at 1.1 million deaths and tens of millions with permanent disabilities.",
">\n\npsst: we're also the most obese nation by far, which is a super big risk factor for severe Covid.",
">\n\nI can't read the article but being a caregiver for 2 high risk people, my life won't change. I didn't know there were still protocols in place.",
">\n\nYeah I have family members who have had organ transplants. Zero immune system, produce zero antibodies when vaccinated multiple times. Evushield was pulled because it's not effective. And people don't get it, they act like we're freaks wearing masks still. I have been harassed in public, I was 9 mo pregnant and a man kept banging on my car screaming at me to take off my mask. So I am worried that the state of emergency being changed will just make things worse in terms of respecting people still needing to be careful. I just wish the government cared a little more about the immune compromised, or even just pretended to care.",
">\n\n\nI just wish the government cared a little more about the immune compromised, or even just pretended to care.\n\nThey don't, we have objective evidence they do not now. Anyone in this situation, or caring for someone in this situation is on their own. \nWestern Society has really revealed itself to be an uncaring and selfish construct of humanity through this.",
">\n\nYeah it's really sad, it bothers me how anyone vulnerable is just thrown to the side like they don't matter. It's always been this way here. Look how a lot of nursing homes function.",
">\n\n\nIt's always been this way here.\n\nThis is the personal revelation I have gone through with this. It's not something new, I just didn't understand where we were at, and now that I do, I can't unsee it. \nIt kind of reminds me of Logans run, how everyone was killed off young and didn't really get a chance to understand the reality of their situation. The young and healthy are rarely if ever going to interface with the systems we have in place that are like this, except in extraordinary situations like this one.",
">\n\nNo I'm in a similar boat. I never realized it until very recently, and it's hard to come to terms with. I hope for change but with the current mentality of parents are evil and everyone over 50 is a crazy Trumper, and then no one caring about babies getting sick or people with cancer or pregnant people or organ recipients, i worry it'll get worse before it gets better. Especially with social media breeding such a self centered perspective on life and a sense of self importance. I wonder if it's this way in other countries too or just the US.",
">\n\nIt absolutely is the same way in other countries. It may look a little different, but people have definitely reacted the same way, at least from a logical perspective. \nLook at the Canadian trucker situation, and the Swedish approach to COVID from the start, Q-anon inspired would-be coupers in Germany, etc... \nI don't know how we collectively dig ourselves out of this, but the focus of my life moving forward it to spend what energy and time I have left on this earth trying to figure out what I can do to help move us in that direction. \nWhat I do know is that this is not the way to do things. \nI'm glad you've engaged here, it's always nice to know that there are others out there who are paying attention to things and actually have empathy.",
">\n\nDefinitely, it's been nice chatting with you too. I'm trying to make a difference too, starting within my family while my kids are little and my parents need help, and hopefully finding a way to contribute to change in society too. Take care, stay healthy.",
">\n\nFuck. There goes my Medicaid",
">\n\nAs a student who just got on Medicaid end of last year, could you explain to me why you will lose it? Did you qualify for it during covid but no longer qualify for it now? And with the end of the emergency declarations, it won’t be extended to you?",
">\n\nIf you make over a certain amount of income (in California I think the cutoff is 19K/yr - not sure if it’s different elsewhere) then you don’t qualify for Medicaid, but they’ve been keeping people on their plan during the pandemic regardless. My understanding is that after May 11th, they will no longer provide coverage for folks who don’t technically qualify.",
">\n\n1.1 million people unavailable for comment due to unspecified illness",
">\n\nThat's for the world. The 1.1 million for the US is probably fairly close, as opposed to say India where the excess deaths are about 10x the reported COVID deaths.",
">\n\nI think the US count is still off by hundreds of thousands if you look at excess mortality.",
">\n\nmillions - it doesn't take into account just how many people are living off the counts",
">\n\nWeird because that's my birthday.\nAnyway, whoever reads this, I hope you have a good and prosperous 2023.",
">\n\nThank you so much!",
">\n\nWelp ok. I currently have Covid. It's not bad, but I have missed work now for 7 days. Cough, congestion, exhaustion, yet no fever. Will this be like the flu from now on? Who knows. I just don't know what to do.",
">\n\nMost of us are mainly concerned because the \"new norm\" is just the status quo with no increased safety nets for a disease that is still much more than the flu. Covid will cause people to lose jobs and more without the protection because we learned nothing and put nothing into place. Collectively. Individually I can protect myself but that is little comfort if I get long covid and lose my job.",
">\n\nA proper road ahead is pretty clear it. The road has just been heavily sabotaged with politics and misinformation. Covid will hurt a lot of people in the US because of this, somewhat, forced designation removal.\nFor the pragmatic individuals like myself we see the road that is paved with politics, misinformation and good ol American stubbornness having a huge hole in it when it comes to the \"next thing\". If we, for example, get a disease in the h1n1 levels of virility as the \"next one\" A LOT of people are going to die because of bad lessons learned from this go around.",
">\n\n\nA proper road ahead is pretty clear\n\nOK, but what is it?",
">\n\nCongrats to COVID for winning the war on COVID.",
">\n\nGreat. Once the emergency declarations are lifted we'll just have COVID-19.",
">\n\nY'all know you can still take precautions against COVID without there being emergency declarations right?",
">\n\nSure, but that ain't gonna make the hospitals any less crowded. \nEvery procedure I've had for the last three years has faced major difficulties in availability thanks to the combination of the pandemic and doctor burnout. \nIt's the sole reason my right knee is still pitiful human flesh and not kick-ass chrome-plated titanium.",
">\n\nAre the emergency declarations making the hospitals less crowded?",
">\n\nI honestly don't know what these people actually want. We are 3 years out now and I see maybe 5% masked out in public. Everyone who wanted to get the vaccine has received it. People are over it, we have done what we can do. China stayed isolated indoors for 3 years and is currently getting overrun, I'm not sure what people who complain about removing the emergency declaration are actually wanting the government to do for them?\nJust wear a mask in public and avoid people, if that's what you want to do.",
">\n\nOne of the impacts of removing the declaration is that testing, vaccines, and treatments will no longer be fully covered by private insurance or Medicaid creating a financial burden for many. Keep in mind with the current accessible vaccines yearly injections are recommended for continued coverage. Those that get sick or exposed are still recommended to be tested and receive appropriate treatment. While that was fully covered in the past none of it will be when the declaration ends. Not to mention vaccines, testing, and treatment are all active events people must willingly partake in, the government could’ve required COVID funds be used for passive mitigation efforts like implementing appropriate filtration and sterilization to air systems for schools. Passive mitigation strategies benefit the public health of the community without requiring the community to actually make an effort themselves. Instead COVID funds went to personal pet projects of local politicians.",
">\n\n\nOne of the impacts of removing the declaration is that ... vaccines ... will no longer be fully covered by private insurance or Medicaid creating a financial burden for many.\n\nWho pays for my free yearly flu vaccine, or the whole host of vaccines my children have received since they were born? I would imagine, with the recent guidance on yearly COVID vaccines, it would be covered the same as all the others we receive through our life."
] |
>
As a Canadian... What the fuck?
I roll up to the pharmacy of my local grocery store in the Fall and have my shot done in 5 minutes... Flash my provincial health card and that's that...
Oh, I'm not at the grocery store but there's literally any pharmacy here? I can go there and get it done...
I'm at my GP for a physical? I can get it there...
I'm at the walk-in clinic to get something minor checked? I can get it there instead...
Shit, I'm surprised we don't have drive-thru options yet xD | [
"Of all the stock photos of people wearing masks they could choose from, they pick the one with a guy wearing a Porn Hub hat.",
">\n\nNow let’s ask why the fuck he’s wearing a pornhub hat lol. When I leave the house I might put on a Duluth Trading Company hat, that’s a brand I like. Or a University of Wisconsin hat, a school I support. But this guy loves jerking off so much that he wears clothing repping his favorite porn site. You’ve got no choice but to respect that honestly.",
">\n\nOr maybe it is just a spinoff parody hat. Like he is a farmer and it says \"CornBub\".",
">\n\nCorn does have the juice.",
">\n\nI can't imagine a more beautiful thing!",
">\n\nCool now do the ones put in place after 9/11",
">\n\nwill people get dropped from medicaid because of this?",
">\n\nYes, at least where I am they ceased ALL negative actions and renewals for medicaid, while it was still declared an ongoing public health crisis.",
">\n\nThey stopped those protections a while ago here. I just had a client retroactively denied coverage going back to November...",
">\n\nRETROACTIVELY denied?!?? That sounds so evil. :(",
">\n\nInsurance in general is evil :/",
">\n\nBy that, student debt cancellation won’t be a thing.",
">\n\nIsn't the loan repayment pause dependent on the covid emergency declaration as well?",
">\n\nYes. So are the guaranteed sick days, vaccines, medications, hospital stays etc. This will only affect people who are poor and sick. It's not about masks which everyone is pretending. It's about the financial help for the poor and disabled that is being taken away and that's what people are celebrating today.",
">\n\nAlso insurance is more inclined to stamp APPROVED on a lot of the things that are used in bad bouts of COVID. Mostly because the Government has been helping cover some of those costs.\nNow that this is going away, I can assure anyone who gets a bad bout of COVID, your insurance is going to be breaking out the DENIED stamp a lot more often.\nSome of the worse bouts of COVID are six or seven figures. Maybe knock one or two of those digits off with insurance helped by the Government. With this ending, a lot of people are going to be on the hook for that bill now.\nMaybe this is what it takes for people to start treating this pandemic seriously? Million dollar medical bills that will haunt them the rest of their lives. I mean, we're still shedding about 200+ some people a day to COVID. That's ~73k a year. That's twice as many people who die in car wrecks annually and about 20% the rate of people who die from heart disease. That puts it in a firm third place for cause of death in the US.",
">\n\n500+ people a day in the US right now",
">\n\nI mean thank god for those 2 checks we got to help us survive 3 years",
">\n\nAnd then the record inflation, I know they weren't directly related but it made the checks even more meaningless in the long run.",
">\n\nI wonder how this will impact things like loan forgiveness in the courts, which relied on the emergency declaration to get authorization. I have a feeling SCOTUS will give a legally dubious \"it was valid at the time of the order but now the declaration is rescinded, so it would be irrelevant by the time we'd let you do it anyway.\" Thus they don't have to actually decide on whether it was legal and just skip to the boot. They used similar reasoning in other laws they've tossed down in the last decade or so.\nUntil now I thought they were going to toss it down on the basis that \"COVID isn't a big deal anymore,\" and just ignore the emergency declaration - they also used that reasoning in another COVID-related case recently (Gorsuch stood with liberals in opposing that opinion if I recall correctly).",
">\n\nThey specifically put in dates in June for the deadline I believe",
">\n\nWell, they ALSO chose a stock photo of people actually WEARING MASKS!!!",
">\n\nAnd a PornHub baseball cap",
">\n\nThis has real early war on terror \"mission accomplished\" vibes to it.",
">\n\nSince literally before the disaster even began in earnest in America, that's been the message. No wonder we're at 1.1 million deaths and tens of millions with permanent disabilities.",
">\n\npsst: we're also the most obese nation by far, which is a super big risk factor for severe Covid.",
">\n\nI can't read the article but being a caregiver for 2 high risk people, my life won't change. I didn't know there were still protocols in place.",
">\n\nYeah I have family members who have had organ transplants. Zero immune system, produce zero antibodies when vaccinated multiple times. Evushield was pulled because it's not effective. And people don't get it, they act like we're freaks wearing masks still. I have been harassed in public, I was 9 mo pregnant and a man kept banging on my car screaming at me to take off my mask. So I am worried that the state of emergency being changed will just make things worse in terms of respecting people still needing to be careful. I just wish the government cared a little more about the immune compromised, or even just pretended to care.",
">\n\n\nI just wish the government cared a little more about the immune compromised, or even just pretended to care.\n\nThey don't, we have objective evidence they do not now. Anyone in this situation, or caring for someone in this situation is on their own. \nWestern Society has really revealed itself to be an uncaring and selfish construct of humanity through this.",
">\n\nYeah it's really sad, it bothers me how anyone vulnerable is just thrown to the side like they don't matter. It's always been this way here. Look how a lot of nursing homes function.",
">\n\n\nIt's always been this way here.\n\nThis is the personal revelation I have gone through with this. It's not something new, I just didn't understand where we were at, and now that I do, I can't unsee it. \nIt kind of reminds me of Logans run, how everyone was killed off young and didn't really get a chance to understand the reality of their situation. The young and healthy are rarely if ever going to interface with the systems we have in place that are like this, except in extraordinary situations like this one.",
">\n\nNo I'm in a similar boat. I never realized it until very recently, and it's hard to come to terms with. I hope for change but with the current mentality of parents are evil and everyone over 50 is a crazy Trumper, and then no one caring about babies getting sick or people with cancer or pregnant people or organ recipients, i worry it'll get worse before it gets better. Especially with social media breeding such a self centered perspective on life and a sense of self importance. I wonder if it's this way in other countries too or just the US.",
">\n\nIt absolutely is the same way in other countries. It may look a little different, but people have definitely reacted the same way, at least from a logical perspective. \nLook at the Canadian trucker situation, and the Swedish approach to COVID from the start, Q-anon inspired would-be coupers in Germany, etc... \nI don't know how we collectively dig ourselves out of this, but the focus of my life moving forward it to spend what energy and time I have left on this earth trying to figure out what I can do to help move us in that direction. \nWhat I do know is that this is not the way to do things. \nI'm glad you've engaged here, it's always nice to know that there are others out there who are paying attention to things and actually have empathy.",
">\n\nDefinitely, it's been nice chatting with you too. I'm trying to make a difference too, starting within my family while my kids are little and my parents need help, and hopefully finding a way to contribute to change in society too. Take care, stay healthy.",
">\n\nFuck. There goes my Medicaid",
">\n\nAs a student who just got on Medicaid end of last year, could you explain to me why you will lose it? Did you qualify for it during covid but no longer qualify for it now? And with the end of the emergency declarations, it won’t be extended to you?",
">\n\nIf you make over a certain amount of income (in California I think the cutoff is 19K/yr - not sure if it’s different elsewhere) then you don’t qualify for Medicaid, but they’ve been keeping people on their plan during the pandemic regardless. My understanding is that after May 11th, they will no longer provide coverage for folks who don’t technically qualify.",
">\n\n1.1 million people unavailable for comment due to unspecified illness",
">\n\nThat's for the world. The 1.1 million for the US is probably fairly close, as opposed to say India where the excess deaths are about 10x the reported COVID deaths.",
">\n\nI think the US count is still off by hundreds of thousands if you look at excess mortality.",
">\n\nmillions - it doesn't take into account just how many people are living off the counts",
">\n\nWeird because that's my birthday.\nAnyway, whoever reads this, I hope you have a good and prosperous 2023.",
">\n\nThank you so much!",
">\n\nWelp ok. I currently have Covid. It's not bad, but I have missed work now for 7 days. Cough, congestion, exhaustion, yet no fever. Will this be like the flu from now on? Who knows. I just don't know what to do.",
">\n\nMost of us are mainly concerned because the \"new norm\" is just the status quo with no increased safety nets for a disease that is still much more than the flu. Covid will cause people to lose jobs and more without the protection because we learned nothing and put nothing into place. Collectively. Individually I can protect myself but that is little comfort if I get long covid and lose my job.",
">\n\nA proper road ahead is pretty clear it. The road has just been heavily sabotaged with politics and misinformation. Covid will hurt a lot of people in the US because of this, somewhat, forced designation removal.\nFor the pragmatic individuals like myself we see the road that is paved with politics, misinformation and good ol American stubbornness having a huge hole in it when it comes to the \"next thing\". If we, for example, get a disease in the h1n1 levels of virility as the \"next one\" A LOT of people are going to die because of bad lessons learned from this go around.",
">\n\n\nA proper road ahead is pretty clear\n\nOK, but what is it?",
">\n\nCongrats to COVID for winning the war on COVID.",
">\n\nGreat. Once the emergency declarations are lifted we'll just have COVID-19.",
">\n\nY'all know you can still take precautions against COVID without there being emergency declarations right?",
">\n\nSure, but that ain't gonna make the hospitals any less crowded. \nEvery procedure I've had for the last three years has faced major difficulties in availability thanks to the combination of the pandemic and doctor burnout. \nIt's the sole reason my right knee is still pitiful human flesh and not kick-ass chrome-plated titanium.",
">\n\nAre the emergency declarations making the hospitals less crowded?",
">\n\nI honestly don't know what these people actually want. We are 3 years out now and I see maybe 5% masked out in public. Everyone who wanted to get the vaccine has received it. People are over it, we have done what we can do. China stayed isolated indoors for 3 years and is currently getting overrun, I'm not sure what people who complain about removing the emergency declaration are actually wanting the government to do for them?\nJust wear a mask in public and avoid people, if that's what you want to do.",
">\n\nOne of the impacts of removing the declaration is that testing, vaccines, and treatments will no longer be fully covered by private insurance or Medicaid creating a financial burden for many. Keep in mind with the current accessible vaccines yearly injections are recommended for continued coverage. Those that get sick or exposed are still recommended to be tested and receive appropriate treatment. While that was fully covered in the past none of it will be when the declaration ends. Not to mention vaccines, testing, and treatment are all active events people must willingly partake in, the government could’ve required COVID funds be used for passive mitigation efforts like implementing appropriate filtration and sterilization to air systems for schools. Passive mitigation strategies benefit the public health of the community without requiring the community to actually make an effort themselves. Instead COVID funds went to personal pet projects of local politicians.",
">\n\n\nOne of the impacts of removing the declaration is that ... vaccines ... will no longer be fully covered by private insurance or Medicaid creating a financial burden for many.\n\nWho pays for my free yearly flu vaccine, or the whole host of vaccines my children have received since they were born? I would imagine, with the recent guidance on yearly COVID vaccines, it would be covered the same as all the others we receive through our life.",
">\n\nNot sure of your personal situation but for my family the flu shot was only covered if it was administered in the office of my child’s government selected PCP. Otherwise I was required to pay for the flu shot to be administered at a pharmacy or other location. Her PCP doesn’t carry the flu or COVID shot in office, nor do any of the other pediatricians in our area that are on the state funded health plan."
] |
>
Yes we’re well aware y’all have a better healthcare system - the comparisons have been beaten to death on this site | [
"Of all the stock photos of people wearing masks they could choose from, they pick the one with a guy wearing a Porn Hub hat.",
">\n\nNow let’s ask why the fuck he’s wearing a pornhub hat lol. When I leave the house I might put on a Duluth Trading Company hat, that’s a brand I like. Or a University of Wisconsin hat, a school I support. But this guy loves jerking off so much that he wears clothing repping his favorite porn site. You’ve got no choice but to respect that honestly.",
">\n\nOr maybe it is just a spinoff parody hat. Like he is a farmer and it says \"CornBub\".",
">\n\nCorn does have the juice.",
">\n\nI can't imagine a more beautiful thing!",
">\n\nCool now do the ones put in place after 9/11",
">\n\nwill people get dropped from medicaid because of this?",
">\n\nYes, at least where I am they ceased ALL negative actions and renewals for medicaid, while it was still declared an ongoing public health crisis.",
">\n\nThey stopped those protections a while ago here. I just had a client retroactively denied coverage going back to November...",
">\n\nRETROACTIVELY denied?!?? That sounds so evil. :(",
">\n\nInsurance in general is evil :/",
">\n\nBy that, student debt cancellation won’t be a thing.",
">\n\nIsn't the loan repayment pause dependent on the covid emergency declaration as well?",
">\n\nYes. So are the guaranteed sick days, vaccines, medications, hospital stays etc. This will only affect people who are poor and sick. It's not about masks which everyone is pretending. It's about the financial help for the poor and disabled that is being taken away and that's what people are celebrating today.",
">\n\nAlso insurance is more inclined to stamp APPROVED on a lot of the things that are used in bad bouts of COVID. Mostly because the Government has been helping cover some of those costs.\nNow that this is going away, I can assure anyone who gets a bad bout of COVID, your insurance is going to be breaking out the DENIED stamp a lot more often.\nSome of the worse bouts of COVID are six or seven figures. Maybe knock one or two of those digits off with insurance helped by the Government. With this ending, a lot of people are going to be on the hook for that bill now.\nMaybe this is what it takes for people to start treating this pandemic seriously? Million dollar medical bills that will haunt them the rest of their lives. I mean, we're still shedding about 200+ some people a day to COVID. That's ~73k a year. That's twice as many people who die in car wrecks annually and about 20% the rate of people who die from heart disease. That puts it in a firm third place for cause of death in the US.",
">\n\n500+ people a day in the US right now",
">\n\nI mean thank god for those 2 checks we got to help us survive 3 years",
">\n\nAnd then the record inflation, I know they weren't directly related but it made the checks even more meaningless in the long run.",
">\n\nI wonder how this will impact things like loan forgiveness in the courts, which relied on the emergency declaration to get authorization. I have a feeling SCOTUS will give a legally dubious \"it was valid at the time of the order but now the declaration is rescinded, so it would be irrelevant by the time we'd let you do it anyway.\" Thus they don't have to actually decide on whether it was legal and just skip to the boot. They used similar reasoning in other laws they've tossed down in the last decade or so.\nUntil now I thought they were going to toss it down on the basis that \"COVID isn't a big deal anymore,\" and just ignore the emergency declaration - they also used that reasoning in another COVID-related case recently (Gorsuch stood with liberals in opposing that opinion if I recall correctly).",
">\n\nThey specifically put in dates in June for the deadline I believe",
">\n\nWell, they ALSO chose a stock photo of people actually WEARING MASKS!!!",
">\n\nAnd a PornHub baseball cap",
">\n\nThis has real early war on terror \"mission accomplished\" vibes to it.",
">\n\nSince literally before the disaster even began in earnest in America, that's been the message. No wonder we're at 1.1 million deaths and tens of millions with permanent disabilities.",
">\n\npsst: we're also the most obese nation by far, which is a super big risk factor for severe Covid.",
">\n\nI can't read the article but being a caregiver for 2 high risk people, my life won't change. I didn't know there were still protocols in place.",
">\n\nYeah I have family members who have had organ transplants. Zero immune system, produce zero antibodies when vaccinated multiple times. Evushield was pulled because it's not effective. And people don't get it, they act like we're freaks wearing masks still. I have been harassed in public, I was 9 mo pregnant and a man kept banging on my car screaming at me to take off my mask. So I am worried that the state of emergency being changed will just make things worse in terms of respecting people still needing to be careful. I just wish the government cared a little more about the immune compromised, or even just pretended to care.",
">\n\n\nI just wish the government cared a little more about the immune compromised, or even just pretended to care.\n\nThey don't, we have objective evidence they do not now. Anyone in this situation, or caring for someone in this situation is on their own. \nWestern Society has really revealed itself to be an uncaring and selfish construct of humanity through this.",
">\n\nYeah it's really sad, it bothers me how anyone vulnerable is just thrown to the side like they don't matter. It's always been this way here. Look how a lot of nursing homes function.",
">\n\n\nIt's always been this way here.\n\nThis is the personal revelation I have gone through with this. It's not something new, I just didn't understand where we were at, and now that I do, I can't unsee it. \nIt kind of reminds me of Logans run, how everyone was killed off young and didn't really get a chance to understand the reality of their situation. The young and healthy are rarely if ever going to interface with the systems we have in place that are like this, except in extraordinary situations like this one.",
">\n\nNo I'm in a similar boat. I never realized it until very recently, and it's hard to come to terms with. I hope for change but with the current mentality of parents are evil and everyone over 50 is a crazy Trumper, and then no one caring about babies getting sick or people with cancer or pregnant people or organ recipients, i worry it'll get worse before it gets better. Especially with social media breeding such a self centered perspective on life and a sense of self importance. I wonder if it's this way in other countries too or just the US.",
">\n\nIt absolutely is the same way in other countries. It may look a little different, but people have definitely reacted the same way, at least from a logical perspective. \nLook at the Canadian trucker situation, and the Swedish approach to COVID from the start, Q-anon inspired would-be coupers in Germany, etc... \nI don't know how we collectively dig ourselves out of this, but the focus of my life moving forward it to spend what energy and time I have left on this earth trying to figure out what I can do to help move us in that direction. \nWhat I do know is that this is not the way to do things. \nI'm glad you've engaged here, it's always nice to know that there are others out there who are paying attention to things and actually have empathy.",
">\n\nDefinitely, it's been nice chatting with you too. I'm trying to make a difference too, starting within my family while my kids are little and my parents need help, and hopefully finding a way to contribute to change in society too. Take care, stay healthy.",
">\n\nFuck. There goes my Medicaid",
">\n\nAs a student who just got on Medicaid end of last year, could you explain to me why you will lose it? Did you qualify for it during covid but no longer qualify for it now? And with the end of the emergency declarations, it won’t be extended to you?",
">\n\nIf you make over a certain amount of income (in California I think the cutoff is 19K/yr - not sure if it’s different elsewhere) then you don’t qualify for Medicaid, but they’ve been keeping people on their plan during the pandemic regardless. My understanding is that after May 11th, they will no longer provide coverage for folks who don’t technically qualify.",
">\n\n1.1 million people unavailable for comment due to unspecified illness",
">\n\nThat's for the world. The 1.1 million for the US is probably fairly close, as opposed to say India where the excess deaths are about 10x the reported COVID deaths.",
">\n\nI think the US count is still off by hundreds of thousands if you look at excess mortality.",
">\n\nmillions - it doesn't take into account just how many people are living off the counts",
">\n\nWeird because that's my birthday.\nAnyway, whoever reads this, I hope you have a good and prosperous 2023.",
">\n\nThank you so much!",
">\n\nWelp ok. I currently have Covid. It's not bad, but I have missed work now for 7 days. Cough, congestion, exhaustion, yet no fever. Will this be like the flu from now on? Who knows. I just don't know what to do.",
">\n\nMost of us are mainly concerned because the \"new norm\" is just the status quo with no increased safety nets for a disease that is still much more than the flu. Covid will cause people to lose jobs and more without the protection because we learned nothing and put nothing into place. Collectively. Individually I can protect myself but that is little comfort if I get long covid and lose my job.",
">\n\nA proper road ahead is pretty clear it. The road has just been heavily sabotaged with politics and misinformation. Covid will hurt a lot of people in the US because of this, somewhat, forced designation removal.\nFor the pragmatic individuals like myself we see the road that is paved with politics, misinformation and good ol American stubbornness having a huge hole in it when it comes to the \"next thing\". If we, for example, get a disease in the h1n1 levels of virility as the \"next one\" A LOT of people are going to die because of bad lessons learned from this go around.",
">\n\n\nA proper road ahead is pretty clear\n\nOK, but what is it?",
">\n\nCongrats to COVID for winning the war on COVID.",
">\n\nGreat. Once the emergency declarations are lifted we'll just have COVID-19.",
">\n\nY'all know you can still take precautions against COVID without there being emergency declarations right?",
">\n\nSure, but that ain't gonna make the hospitals any less crowded. \nEvery procedure I've had for the last three years has faced major difficulties in availability thanks to the combination of the pandemic and doctor burnout. \nIt's the sole reason my right knee is still pitiful human flesh and not kick-ass chrome-plated titanium.",
">\n\nAre the emergency declarations making the hospitals less crowded?",
">\n\nI honestly don't know what these people actually want. We are 3 years out now and I see maybe 5% masked out in public. Everyone who wanted to get the vaccine has received it. People are over it, we have done what we can do. China stayed isolated indoors for 3 years and is currently getting overrun, I'm not sure what people who complain about removing the emergency declaration are actually wanting the government to do for them?\nJust wear a mask in public and avoid people, if that's what you want to do.",
">\n\nOne of the impacts of removing the declaration is that testing, vaccines, and treatments will no longer be fully covered by private insurance or Medicaid creating a financial burden for many. Keep in mind with the current accessible vaccines yearly injections are recommended for continued coverage. Those that get sick or exposed are still recommended to be tested and receive appropriate treatment. While that was fully covered in the past none of it will be when the declaration ends. Not to mention vaccines, testing, and treatment are all active events people must willingly partake in, the government could’ve required COVID funds be used for passive mitigation efforts like implementing appropriate filtration and sterilization to air systems for schools. Passive mitigation strategies benefit the public health of the community without requiring the community to actually make an effort themselves. Instead COVID funds went to personal pet projects of local politicians.",
">\n\n\nOne of the impacts of removing the declaration is that ... vaccines ... will no longer be fully covered by private insurance or Medicaid creating a financial burden for many.\n\nWho pays for my free yearly flu vaccine, or the whole host of vaccines my children have received since they were born? I would imagine, with the recent guidance on yearly COVID vaccines, it would be covered the same as all the others we receive through our life.",
">\n\nNot sure of your personal situation but for my family the flu shot was only covered if it was administered in the office of my child’s government selected PCP. Otherwise I was required to pay for the flu shot to be administered at a pharmacy or other location. Her PCP doesn’t carry the flu or COVID shot in office, nor do any of the other pediatricians in our area that are on the state funded health plan.",
">\n\nAs a Canadian... What the fuck?\nI roll up to the pharmacy of my local grocery store in the Fall and have my shot done in 5 minutes... Flash my provincial health card and that's that... \nOh, I'm not at the grocery store but there's literally any pharmacy here? I can go there and get it done... \nI'm at my GP for a physical? I can get it there... \nI'm at the walk-in clinic to get something minor checked? I can get it there instead... \nShit, I'm surprised we don't have drive-thru options yet xD"
] |
>
Frequent reminders that you should have it better than you do are not necessarily a bad thing… Get out of the complacency and demand better. | [
"Of all the stock photos of people wearing masks they could choose from, they pick the one with a guy wearing a Porn Hub hat.",
">\n\nNow let’s ask why the fuck he’s wearing a pornhub hat lol. When I leave the house I might put on a Duluth Trading Company hat, that’s a brand I like. Or a University of Wisconsin hat, a school I support. But this guy loves jerking off so much that he wears clothing repping his favorite porn site. You’ve got no choice but to respect that honestly.",
">\n\nOr maybe it is just a spinoff parody hat. Like he is a farmer and it says \"CornBub\".",
">\n\nCorn does have the juice.",
">\n\nI can't imagine a more beautiful thing!",
">\n\nCool now do the ones put in place after 9/11",
">\n\nwill people get dropped from medicaid because of this?",
">\n\nYes, at least where I am they ceased ALL negative actions and renewals for medicaid, while it was still declared an ongoing public health crisis.",
">\n\nThey stopped those protections a while ago here. I just had a client retroactively denied coverage going back to November...",
">\n\nRETROACTIVELY denied?!?? That sounds so evil. :(",
">\n\nInsurance in general is evil :/",
">\n\nBy that, student debt cancellation won’t be a thing.",
">\n\nIsn't the loan repayment pause dependent on the covid emergency declaration as well?",
">\n\nYes. So are the guaranteed sick days, vaccines, medications, hospital stays etc. This will only affect people who are poor and sick. It's not about masks which everyone is pretending. It's about the financial help for the poor and disabled that is being taken away and that's what people are celebrating today.",
">\n\nAlso insurance is more inclined to stamp APPROVED on a lot of the things that are used in bad bouts of COVID. Mostly because the Government has been helping cover some of those costs.\nNow that this is going away, I can assure anyone who gets a bad bout of COVID, your insurance is going to be breaking out the DENIED stamp a lot more often.\nSome of the worse bouts of COVID are six or seven figures. Maybe knock one or two of those digits off with insurance helped by the Government. With this ending, a lot of people are going to be on the hook for that bill now.\nMaybe this is what it takes for people to start treating this pandemic seriously? Million dollar medical bills that will haunt them the rest of their lives. I mean, we're still shedding about 200+ some people a day to COVID. That's ~73k a year. That's twice as many people who die in car wrecks annually and about 20% the rate of people who die from heart disease. That puts it in a firm third place for cause of death in the US.",
">\n\n500+ people a day in the US right now",
">\n\nI mean thank god for those 2 checks we got to help us survive 3 years",
">\n\nAnd then the record inflation, I know they weren't directly related but it made the checks even more meaningless in the long run.",
">\n\nI wonder how this will impact things like loan forgiveness in the courts, which relied on the emergency declaration to get authorization. I have a feeling SCOTUS will give a legally dubious \"it was valid at the time of the order but now the declaration is rescinded, so it would be irrelevant by the time we'd let you do it anyway.\" Thus they don't have to actually decide on whether it was legal and just skip to the boot. They used similar reasoning in other laws they've tossed down in the last decade or so.\nUntil now I thought they were going to toss it down on the basis that \"COVID isn't a big deal anymore,\" and just ignore the emergency declaration - they also used that reasoning in another COVID-related case recently (Gorsuch stood with liberals in opposing that opinion if I recall correctly).",
">\n\nThey specifically put in dates in June for the deadline I believe",
">\n\nWell, they ALSO chose a stock photo of people actually WEARING MASKS!!!",
">\n\nAnd a PornHub baseball cap",
">\n\nThis has real early war on terror \"mission accomplished\" vibes to it.",
">\n\nSince literally before the disaster even began in earnest in America, that's been the message. No wonder we're at 1.1 million deaths and tens of millions with permanent disabilities.",
">\n\npsst: we're also the most obese nation by far, which is a super big risk factor for severe Covid.",
">\n\nI can't read the article but being a caregiver for 2 high risk people, my life won't change. I didn't know there were still protocols in place.",
">\n\nYeah I have family members who have had organ transplants. Zero immune system, produce zero antibodies when vaccinated multiple times. Evushield was pulled because it's not effective. And people don't get it, they act like we're freaks wearing masks still. I have been harassed in public, I was 9 mo pregnant and a man kept banging on my car screaming at me to take off my mask. So I am worried that the state of emergency being changed will just make things worse in terms of respecting people still needing to be careful. I just wish the government cared a little more about the immune compromised, or even just pretended to care.",
">\n\n\nI just wish the government cared a little more about the immune compromised, or even just pretended to care.\n\nThey don't, we have objective evidence they do not now. Anyone in this situation, or caring for someone in this situation is on their own. \nWestern Society has really revealed itself to be an uncaring and selfish construct of humanity through this.",
">\n\nYeah it's really sad, it bothers me how anyone vulnerable is just thrown to the side like they don't matter. It's always been this way here. Look how a lot of nursing homes function.",
">\n\n\nIt's always been this way here.\n\nThis is the personal revelation I have gone through with this. It's not something new, I just didn't understand where we were at, and now that I do, I can't unsee it. \nIt kind of reminds me of Logans run, how everyone was killed off young and didn't really get a chance to understand the reality of their situation. The young and healthy are rarely if ever going to interface with the systems we have in place that are like this, except in extraordinary situations like this one.",
">\n\nNo I'm in a similar boat. I never realized it until very recently, and it's hard to come to terms with. I hope for change but with the current mentality of parents are evil and everyone over 50 is a crazy Trumper, and then no one caring about babies getting sick or people with cancer or pregnant people or organ recipients, i worry it'll get worse before it gets better. Especially with social media breeding such a self centered perspective on life and a sense of self importance. I wonder if it's this way in other countries too or just the US.",
">\n\nIt absolutely is the same way in other countries. It may look a little different, but people have definitely reacted the same way, at least from a logical perspective. \nLook at the Canadian trucker situation, and the Swedish approach to COVID from the start, Q-anon inspired would-be coupers in Germany, etc... \nI don't know how we collectively dig ourselves out of this, but the focus of my life moving forward it to spend what energy and time I have left on this earth trying to figure out what I can do to help move us in that direction. \nWhat I do know is that this is not the way to do things. \nI'm glad you've engaged here, it's always nice to know that there are others out there who are paying attention to things and actually have empathy.",
">\n\nDefinitely, it's been nice chatting with you too. I'm trying to make a difference too, starting within my family while my kids are little and my parents need help, and hopefully finding a way to contribute to change in society too. Take care, stay healthy.",
">\n\nFuck. There goes my Medicaid",
">\n\nAs a student who just got on Medicaid end of last year, could you explain to me why you will lose it? Did you qualify for it during covid but no longer qualify for it now? And with the end of the emergency declarations, it won’t be extended to you?",
">\n\nIf you make over a certain amount of income (in California I think the cutoff is 19K/yr - not sure if it’s different elsewhere) then you don’t qualify for Medicaid, but they’ve been keeping people on their plan during the pandemic regardless. My understanding is that after May 11th, they will no longer provide coverage for folks who don’t technically qualify.",
">\n\n1.1 million people unavailable for comment due to unspecified illness",
">\n\nThat's for the world. The 1.1 million for the US is probably fairly close, as opposed to say India where the excess deaths are about 10x the reported COVID deaths.",
">\n\nI think the US count is still off by hundreds of thousands if you look at excess mortality.",
">\n\nmillions - it doesn't take into account just how many people are living off the counts",
">\n\nWeird because that's my birthday.\nAnyway, whoever reads this, I hope you have a good and prosperous 2023.",
">\n\nThank you so much!",
">\n\nWelp ok. I currently have Covid. It's not bad, but I have missed work now for 7 days. Cough, congestion, exhaustion, yet no fever. Will this be like the flu from now on? Who knows. I just don't know what to do.",
">\n\nMost of us are mainly concerned because the \"new norm\" is just the status quo with no increased safety nets for a disease that is still much more than the flu. Covid will cause people to lose jobs and more without the protection because we learned nothing and put nothing into place. Collectively. Individually I can protect myself but that is little comfort if I get long covid and lose my job.",
">\n\nA proper road ahead is pretty clear it. The road has just been heavily sabotaged with politics and misinformation. Covid will hurt a lot of people in the US because of this, somewhat, forced designation removal.\nFor the pragmatic individuals like myself we see the road that is paved with politics, misinformation and good ol American stubbornness having a huge hole in it when it comes to the \"next thing\". If we, for example, get a disease in the h1n1 levels of virility as the \"next one\" A LOT of people are going to die because of bad lessons learned from this go around.",
">\n\n\nA proper road ahead is pretty clear\n\nOK, but what is it?",
">\n\nCongrats to COVID for winning the war on COVID.",
">\n\nGreat. Once the emergency declarations are lifted we'll just have COVID-19.",
">\n\nY'all know you can still take precautions against COVID without there being emergency declarations right?",
">\n\nSure, but that ain't gonna make the hospitals any less crowded. \nEvery procedure I've had for the last three years has faced major difficulties in availability thanks to the combination of the pandemic and doctor burnout. \nIt's the sole reason my right knee is still pitiful human flesh and not kick-ass chrome-plated titanium.",
">\n\nAre the emergency declarations making the hospitals less crowded?",
">\n\nI honestly don't know what these people actually want. We are 3 years out now and I see maybe 5% masked out in public. Everyone who wanted to get the vaccine has received it. People are over it, we have done what we can do. China stayed isolated indoors for 3 years and is currently getting overrun, I'm not sure what people who complain about removing the emergency declaration are actually wanting the government to do for them?\nJust wear a mask in public and avoid people, if that's what you want to do.",
">\n\nOne of the impacts of removing the declaration is that testing, vaccines, and treatments will no longer be fully covered by private insurance or Medicaid creating a financial burden for many. Keep in mind with the current accessible vaccines yearly injections are recommended for continued coverage. Those that get sick or exposed are still recommended to be tested and receive appropriate treatment. While that was fully covered in the past none of it will be when the declaration ends. Not to mention vaccines, testing, and treatment are all active events people must willingly partake in, the government could’ve required COVID funds be used for passive mitigation efforts like implementing appropriate filtration and sterilization to air systems for schools. Passive mitigation strategies benefit the public health of the community without requiring the community to actually make an effort themselves. Instead COVID funds went to personal pet projects of local politicians.",
">\n\n\nOne of the impacts of removing the declaration is that ... vaccines ... will no longer be fully covered by private insurance or Medicaid creating a financial burden for many.\n\nWho pays for my free yearly flu vaccine, or the whole host of vaccines my children have received since they were born? I would imagine, with the recent guidance on yearly COVID vaccines, it would be covered the same as all the others we receive through our life.",
">\n\nNot sure of your personal situation but for my family the flu shot was only covered if it was administered in the office of my child’s government selected PCP. Otherwise I was required to pay for the flu shot to be administered at a pharmacy or other location. Her PCP doesn’t carry the flu or COVID shot in office, nor do any of the other pediatricians in our area that are on the state funded health plan.",
">\n\nAs a Canadian... What the fuck?\nI roll up to the pharmacy of my local grocery store in the Fall and have my shot done in 5 minutes... Flash my provincial health card and that's that... \nOh, I'm not at the grocery store but there's literally any pharmacy here? I can go there and get it done... \nI'm at my GP for a physical? I can get it there... \nI'm at the walk-in clinic to get something minor checked? I can get it there instead... \nShit, I'm surprised we don't have drive-thru options yet xD",
">\n\nYes we’re well aware y’all have a better healthcare system - the comparisons have been beaten to death on this site"
] |
>
what about those student loans? removing the declaration would give legal challenge ... | [
"Of all the stock photos of people wearing masks they could choose from, they pick the one with a guy wearing a Porn Hub hat.",
">\n\nNow let’s ask why the fuck he’s wearing a pornhub hat lol. When I leave the house I might put on a Duluth Trading Company hat, that’s a brand I like. Or a University of Wisconsin hat, a school I support. But this guy loves jerking off so much that he wears clothing repping his favorite porn site. You’ve got no choice but to respect that honestly.",
">\n\nOr maybe it is just a spinoff parody hat. Like he is a farmer and it says \"CornBub\".",
">\n\nCorn does have the juice.",
">\n\nI can't imagine a more beautiful thing!",
">\n\nCool now do the ones put in place after 9/11",
">\n\nwill people get dropped from medicaid because of this?",
">\n\nYes, at least where I am they ceased ALL negative actions and renewals for medicaid, while it was still declared an ongoing public health crisis.",
">\n\nThey stopped those protections a while ago here. I just had a client retroactively denied coverage going back to November...",
">\n\nRETROACTIVELY denied?!?? That sounds so evil. :(",
">\n\nInsurance in general is evil :/",
">\n\nBy that, student debt cancellation won’t be a thing.",
">\n\nIsn't the loan repayment pause dependent on the covid emergency declaration as well?",
">\n\nYes. So are the guaranteed sick days, vaccines, medications, hospital stays etc. This will only affect people who are poor and sick. It's not about masks which everyone is pretending. It's about the financial help for the poor and disabled that is being taken away and that's what people are celebrating today.",
">\n\nAlso insurance is more inclined to stamp APPROVED on a lot of the things that are used in bad bouts of COVID. Mostly because the Government has been helping cover some of those costs.\nNow that this is going away, I can assure anyone who gets a bad bout of COVID, your insurance is going to be breaking out the DENIED stamp a lot more often.\nSome of the worse bouts of COVID are six or seven figures. Maybe knock one or two of those digits off with insurance helped by the Government. With this ending, a lot of people are going to be on the hook for that bill now.\nMaybe this is what it takes for people to start treating this pandemic seriously? Million dollar medical bills that will haunt them the rest of their lives. I mean, we're still shedding about 200+ some people a day to COVID. That's ~73k a year. That's twice as many people who die in car wrecks annually and about 20% the rate of people who die from heart disease. That puts it in a firm third place for cause of death in the US.",
">\n\n500+ people a day in the US right now",
">\n\nI mean thank god for those 2 checks we got to help us survive 3 years",
">\n\nAnd then the record inflation, I know they weren't directly related but it made the checks even more meaningless in the long run.",
">\n\nI wonder how this will impact things like loan forgiveness in the courts, which relied on the emergency declaration to get authorization. I have a feeling SCOTUS will give a legally dubious \"it was valid at the time of the order but now the declaration is rescinded, so it would be irrelevant by the time we'd let you do it anyway.\" Thus they don't have to actually decide on whether it was legal and just skip to the boot. They used similar reasoning in other laws they've tossed down in the last decade or so.\nUntil now I thought they were going to toss it down on the basis that \"COVID isn't a big deal anymore,\" and just ignore the emergency declaration - they also used that reasoning in another COVID-related case recently (Gorsuch stood with liberals in opposing that opinion if I recall correctly).",
">\n\nThey specifically put in dates in June for the deadline I believe",
">\n\nWell, they ALSO chose a stock photo of people actually WEARING MASKS!!!",
">\n\nAnd a PornHub baseball cap",
">\n\nThis has real early war on terror \"mission accomplished\" vibes to it.",
">\n\nSince literally before the disaster even began in earnest in America, that's been the message. No wonder we're at 1.1 million deaths and tens of millions with permanent disabilities.",
">\n\npsst: we're also the most obese nation by far, which is a super big risk factor for severe Covid.",
">\n\nI can't read the article but being a caregiver for 2 high risk people, my life won't change. I didn't know there were still protocols in place.",
">\n\nYeah I have family members who have had organ transplants. Zero immune system, produce zero antibodies when vaccinated multiple times. Evushield was pulled because it's not effective. And people don't get it, they act like we're freaks wearing masks still. I have been harassed in public, I was 9 mo pregnant and a man kept banging on my car screaming at me to take off my mask. So I am worried that the state of emergency being changed will just make things worse in terms of respecting people still needing to be careful. I just wish the government cared a little more about the immune compromised, or even just pretended to care.",
">\n\n\nI just wish the government cared a little more about the immune compromised, or even just pretended to care.\n\nThey don't, we have objective evidence they do not now. Anyone in this situation, or caring for someone in this situation is on their own. \nWestern Society has really revealed itself to be an uncaring and selfish construct of humanity through this.",
">\n\nYeah it's really sad, it bothers me how anyone vulnerable is just thrown to the side like they don't matter. It's always been this way here. Look how a lot of nursing homes function.",
">\n\n\nIt's always been this way here.\n\nThis is the personal revelation I have gone through with this. It's not something new, I just didn't understand where we were at, and now that I do, I can't unsee it. \nIt kind of reminds me of Logans run, how everyone was killed off young and didn't really get a chance to understand the reality of their situation. The young and healthy are rarely if ever going to interface with the systems we have in place that are like this, except in extraordinary situations like this one.",
">\n\nNo I'm in a similar boat. I never realized it until very recently, and it's hard to come to terms with. I hope for change but with the current mentality of parents are evil and everyone over 50 is a crazy Trumper, and then no one caring about babies getting sick or people with cancer or pregnant people or organ recipients, i worry it'll get worse before it gets better. Especially with social media breeding such a self centered perspective on life and a sense of self importance. I wonder if it's this way in other countries too or just the US.",
">\n\nIt absolutely is the same way in other countries. It may look a little different, but people have definitely reacted the same way, at least from a logical perspective. \nLook at the Canadian trucker situation, and the Swedish approach to COVID from the start, Q-anon inspired would-be coupers in Germany, etc... \nI don't know how we collectively dig ourselves out of this, but the focus of my life moving forward it to spend what energy and time I have left on this earth trying to figure out what I can do to help move us in that direction. \nWhat I do know is that this is not the way to do things. \nI'm glad you've engaged here, it's always nice to know that there are others out there who are paying attention to things and actually have empathy.",
">\n\nDefinitely, it's been nice chatting with you too. I'm trying to make a difference too, starting within my family while my kids are little and my parents need help, and hopefully finding a way to contribute to change in society too. Take care, stay healthy.",
">\n\nFuck. There goes my Medicaid",
">\n\nAs a student who just got on Medicaid end of last year, could you explain to me why you will lose it? Did you qualify for it during covid but no longer qualify for it now? And with the end of the emergency declarations, it won’t be extended to you?",
">\n\nIf you make over a certain amount of income (in California I think the cutoff is 19K/yr - not sure if it’s different elsewhere) then you don’t qualify for Medicaid, but they’ve been keeping people on their plan during the pandemic regardless. My understanding is that after May 11th, they will no longer provide coverage for folks who don’t technically qualify.",
">\n\n1.1 million people unavailable for comment due to unspecified illness",
">\n\nThat's for the world. The 1.1 million for the US is probably fairly close, as opposed to say India where the excess deaths are about 10x the reported COVID deaths.",
">\n\nI think the US count is still off by hundreds of thousands if you look at excess mortality.",
">\n\nmillions - it doesn't take into account just how many people are living off the counts",
">\n\nWeird because that's my birthday.\nAnyway, whoever reads this, I hope you have a good and prosperous 2023.",
">\n\nThank you so much!",
">\n\nWelp ok. I currently have Covid. It's not bad, but I have missed work now for 7 days. Cough, congestion, exhaustion, yet no fever. Will this be like the flu from now on? Who knows. I just don't know what to do.",
">\n\nMost of us are mainly concerned because the \"new norm\" is just the status quo with no increased safety nets for a disease that is still much more than the flu. Covid will cause people to lose jobs and more without the protection because we learned nothing and put nothing into place. Collectively. Individually I can protect myself but that is little comfort if I get long covid and lose my job.",
">\n\nA proper road ahead is pretty clear it. The road has just been heavily sabotaged with politics and misinformation. Covid will hurt a lot of people in the US because of this, somewhat, forced designation removal.\nFor the pragmatic individuals like myself we see the road that is paved with politics, misinformation and good ol American stubbornness having a huge hole in it when it comes to the \"next thing\". If we, for example, get a disease in the h1n1 levels of virility as the \"next one\" A LOT of people are going to die because of bad lessons learned from this go around.",
">\n\n\nA proper road ahead is pretty clear\n\nOK, but what is it?",
">\n\nCongrats to COVID for winning the war on COVID.",
">\n\nGreat. Once the emergency declarations are lifted we'll just have COVID-19.",
">\n\nY'all know you can still take precautions against COVID without there being emergency declarations right?",
">\n\nSure, but that ain't gonna make the hospitals any less crowded. \nEvery procedure I've had for the last three years has faced major difficulties in availability thanks to the combination of the pandemic and doctor burnout. \nIt's the sole reason my right knee is still pitiful human flesh and not kick-ass chrome-plated titanium.",
">\n\nAre the emergency declarations making the hospitals less crowded?",
">\n\nI honestly don't know what these people actually want. We are 3 years out now and I see maybe 5% masked out in public. Everyone who wanted to get the vaccine has received it. People are over it, we have done what we can do. China stayed isolated indoors for 3 years and is currently getting overrun, I'm not sure what people who complain about removing the emergency declaration are actually wanting the government to do for them?\nJust wear a mask in public and avoid people, if that's what you want to do.",
">\n\nOne of the impacts of removing the declaration is that testing, vaccines, and treatments will no longer be fully covered by private insurance or Medicaid creating a financial burden for many. Keep in mind with the current accessible vaccines yearly injections are recommended for continued coverage. Those that get sick or exposed are still recommended to be tested and receive appropriate treatment. While that was fully covered in the past none of it will be when the declaration ends. Not to mention vaccines, testing, and treatment are all active events people must willingly partake in, the government could’ve required COVID funds be used for passive mitigation efforts like implementing appropriate filtration and sterilization to air systems for schools. Passive mitigation strategies benefit the public health of the community without requiring the community to actually make an effort themselves. Instead COVID funds went to personal pet projects of local politicians.",
">\n\n\nOne of the impacts of removing the declaration is that ... vaccines ... will no longer be fully covered by private insurance or Medicaid creating a financial burden for many.\n\nWho pays for my free yearly flu vaccine, or the whole host of vaccines my children have received since they were born? I would imagine, with the recent guidance on yearly COVID vaccines, it would be covered the same as all the others we receive through our life.",
">\n\nNot sure of your personal situation but for my family the flu shot was only covered if it was administered in the office of my child’s government selected PCP. Otherwise I was required to pay for the flu shot to be administered at a pharmacy or other location. Her PCP doesn’t carry the flu or COVID shot in office, nor do any of the other pediatricians in our area that are on the state funded health plan.",
">\n\nAs a Canadian... What the fuck?\nI roll up to the pharmacy of my local grocery store in the Fall and have my shot done in 5 minutes... Flash my provincial health card and that's that... \nOh, I'm not at the grocery store but there's literally any pharmacy here? I can go there and get it done... \nI'm at my GP for a physical? I can get it there... \nI'm at the walk-in clinic to get something minor checked? I can get it there instead... \nShit, I'm surprised we don't have drive-thru options yet xD",
">\n\nYes we’re well aware y’all have a better healthcare system - the comparisons have been beaten to death on this site",
">\n\nFrequent reminders that you should have it better than you do are not necessarily a bad thing… Get out of the complacency and demand better."
] |
>
Psst...that ship has sailed. I would have owed $700 between my spouse and me. Guess what, fully prepared to start paying back the 20k now.
They don't care about us and never did. As long as businesses, owners, and CEOs keep their money flowing. Doesn't matter who you vote for. It's shit vs shittier. | [
"Of all the stock photos of people wearing masks they could choose from, they pick the one with a guy wearing a Porn Hub hat.",
">\n\nNow let’s ask why the fuck he’s wearing a pornhub hat lol. When I leave the house I might put on a Duluth Trading Company hat, that’s a brand I like. Or a University of Wisconsin hat, a school I support. But this guy loves jerking off so much that he wears clothing repping his favorite porn site. You’ve got no choice but to respect that honestly.",
">\n\nOr maybe it is just a spinoff parody hat. Like he is a farmer and it says \"CornBub\".",
">\n\nCorn does have the juice.",
">\n\nI can't imagine a more beautiful thing!",
">\n\nCool now do the ones put in place after 9/11",
">\n\nwill people get dropped from medicaid because of this?",
">\n\nYes, at least where I am they ceased ALL negative actions and renewals for medicaid, while it was still declared an ongoing public health crisis.",
">\n\nThey stopped those protections a while ago here. I just had a client retroactively denied coverage going back to November...",
">\n\nRETROACTIVELY denied?!?? That sounds so evil. :(",
">\n\nInsurance in general is evil :/",
">\n\nBy that, student debt cancellation won’t be a thing.",
">\n\nIsn't the loan repayment pause dependent on the covid emergency declaration as well?",
">\n\nYes. So are the guaranteed sick days, vaccines, medications, hospital stays etc. This will only affect people who are poor and sick. It's not about masks which everyone is pretending. It's about the financial help for the poor and disabled that is being taken away and that's what people are celebrating today.",
">\n\nAlso insurance is more inclined to stamp APPROVED on a lot of the things that are used in bad bouts of COVID. Mostly because the Government has been helping cover some of those costs.\nNow that this is going away, I can assure anyone who gets a bad bout of COVID, your insurance is going to be breaking out the DENIED stamp a lot more often.\nSome of the worse bouts of COVID are six or seven figures. Maybe knock one or two of those digits off with insurance helped by the Government. With this ending, a lot of people are going to be on the hook for that bill now.\nMaybe this is what it takes for people to start treating this pandemic seriously? Million dollar medical bills that will haunt them the rest of their lives. I mean, we're still shedding about 200+ some people a day to COVID. That's ~73k a year. That's twice as many people who die in car wrecks annually and about 20% the rate of people who die from heart disease. That puts it in a firm third place for cause of death in the US.",
">\n\n500+ people a day in the US right now",
">\n\nI mean thank god for those 2 checks we got to help us survive 3 years",
">\n\nAnd then the record inflation, I know they weren't directly related but it made the checks even more meaningless in the long run.",
">\n\nI wonder how this will impact things like loan forgiveness in the courts, which relied on the emergency declaration to get authorization. I have a feeling SCOTUS will give a legally dubious \"it was valid at the time of the order but now the declaration is rescinded, so it would be irrelevant by the time we'd let you do it anyway.\" Thus they don't have to actually decide on whether it was legal and just skip to the boot. They used similar reasoning in other laws they've tossed down in the last decade or so.\nUntil now I thought they were going to toss it down on the basis that \"COVID isn't a big deal anymore,\" and just ignore the emergency declaration - they also used that reasoning in another COVID-related case recently (Gorsuch stood with liberals in opposing that opinion if I recall correctly).",
">\n\nThey specifically put in dates in June for the deadline I believe",
">\n\nWell, they ALSO chose a stock photo of people actually WEARING MASKS!!!",
">\n\nAnd a PornHub baseball cap",
">\n\nThis has real early war on terror \"mission accomplished\" vibes to it.",
">\n\nSince literally before the disaster even began in earnest in America, that's been the message. No wonder we're at 1.1 million deaths and tens of millions with permanent disabilities.",
">\n\npsst: we're also the most obese nation by far, which is a super big risk factor for severe Covid.",
">\n\nI can't read the article but being a caregiver for 2 high risk people, my life won't change. I didn't know there were still protocols in place.",
">\n\nYeah I have family members who have had organ transplants. Zero immune system, produce zero antibodies when vaccinated multiple times. Evushield was pulled because it's not effective. And people don't get it, they act like we're freaks wearing masks still. I have been harassed in public, I was 9 mo pregnant and a man kept banging on my car screaming at me to take off my mask. So I am worried that the state of emergency being changed will just make things worse in terms of respecting people still needing to be careful. I just wish the government cared a little more about the immune compromised, or even just pretended to care.",
">\n\n\nI just wish the government cared a little more about the immune compromised, or even just pretended to care.\n\nThey don't, we have objective evidence they do not now. Anyone in this situation, or caring for someone in this situation is on their own. \nWestern Society has really revealed itself to be an uncaring and selfish construct of humanity through this.",
">\n\nYeah it's really sad, it bothers me how anyone vulnerable is just thrown to the side like they don't matter. It's always been this way here. Look how a lot of nursing homes function.",
">\n\n\nIt's always been this way here.\n\nThis is the personal revelation I have gone through with this. It's not something new, I just didn't understand where we were at, and now that I do, I can't unsee it. \nIt kind of reminds me of Logans run, how everyone was killed off young and didn't really get a chance to understand the reality of their situation. The young and healthy are rarely if ever going to interface with the systems we have in place that are like this, except in extraordinary situations like this one.",
">\n\nNo I'm in a similar boat. I never realized it until very recently, and it's hard to come to terms with. I hope for change but with the current mentality of parents are evil and everyone over 50 is a crazy Trumper, and then no one caring about babies getting sick or people with cancer or pregnant people or organ recipients, i worry it'll get worse before it gets better. Especially with social media breeding such a self centered perspective on life and a sense of self importance. I wonder if it's this way in other countries too or just the US.",
">\n\nIt absolutely is the same way in other countries. It may look a little different, but people have definitely reacted the same way, at least from a logical perspective. \nLook at the Canadian trucker situation, and the Swedish approach to COVID from the start, Q-anon inspired would-be coupers in Germany, etc... \nI don't know how we collectively dig ourselves out of this, but the focus of my life moving forward it to spend what energy and time I have left on this earth trying to figure out what I can do to help move us in that direction. \nWhat I do know is that this is not the way to do things. \nI'm glad you've engaged here, it's always nice to know that there are others out there who are paying attention to things and actually have empathy.",
">\n\nDefinitely, it's been nice chatting with you too. I'm trying to make a difference too, starting within my family while my kids are little and my parents need help, and hopefully finding a way to contribute to change in society too. Take care, stay healthy.",
">\n\nFuck. There goes my Medicaid",
">\n\nAs a student who just got on Medicaid end of last year, could you explain to me why you will lose it? Did you qualify for it during covid but no longer qualify for it now? And with the end of the emergency declarations, it won’t be extended to you?",
">\n\nIf you make over a certain amount of income (in California I think the cutoff is 19K/yr - not sure if it’s different elsewhere) then you don’t qualify for Medicaid, but they’ve been keeping people on their plan during the pandemic regardless. My understanding is that after May 11th, they will no longer provide coverage for folks who don’t technically qualify.",
">\n\n1.1 million people unavailable for comment due to unspecified illness",
">\n\nThat's for the world. The 1.1 million for the US is probably fairly close, as opposed to say India where the excess deaths are about 10x the reported COVID deaths.",
">\n\nI think the US count is still off by hundreds of thousands if you look at excess mortality.",
">\n\nmillions - it doesn't take into account just how many people are living off the counts",
">\n\nWeird because that's my birthday.\nAnyway, whoever reads this, I hope you have a good and prosperous 2023.",
">\n\nThank you so much!",
">\n\nWelp ok. I currently have Covid. It's not bad, but I have missed work now for 7 days. Cough, congestion, exhaustion, yet no fever. Will this be like the flu from now on? Who knows. I just don't know what to do.",
">\n\nMost of us are mainly concerned because the \"new norm\" is just the status quo with no increased safety nets for a disease that is still much more than the flu. Covid will cause people to lose jobs and more without the protection because we learned nothing and put nothing into place. Collectively. Individually I can protect myself but that is little comfort if I get long covid and lose my job.",
">\n\nA proper road ahead is pretty clear it. The road has just been heavily sabotaged with politics and misinformation. Covid will hurt a lot of people in the US because of this, somewhat, forced designation removal.\nFor the pragmatic individuals like myself we see the road that is paved with politics, misinformation and good ol American stubbornness having a huge hole in it when it comes to the \"next thing\". If we, for example, get a disease in the h1n1 levels of virility as the \"next one\" A LOT of people are going to die because of bad lessons learned from this go around.",
">\n\n\nA proper road ahead is pretty clear\n\nOK, but what is it?",
">\n\nCongrats to COVID for winning the war on COVID.",
">\n\nGreat. Once the emergency declarations are lifted we'll just have COVID-19.",
">\n\nY'all know you can still take precautions against COVID without there being emergency declarations right?",
">\n\nSure, but that ain't gonna make the hospitals any less crowded. \nEvery procedure I've had for the last three years has faced major difficulties in availability thanks to the combination of the pandemic and doctor burnout. \nIt's the sole reason my right knee is still pitiful human flesh and not kick-ass chrome-plated titanium.",
">\n\nAre the emergency declarations making the hospitals less crowded?",
">\n\nI honestly don't know what these people actually want. We are 3 years out now and I see maybe 5% masked out in public. Everyone who wanted to get the vaccine has received it. People are over it, we have done what we can do. China stayed isolated indoors for 3 years and is currently getting overrun, I'm not sure what people who complain about removing the emergency declaration are actually wanting the government to do for them?\nJust wear a mask in public and avoid people, if that's what you want to do.",
">\n\nOne of the impacts of removing the declaration is that testing, vaccines, and treatments will no longer be fully covered by private insurance or Medicaid creating a financial burden for many. Keep in mind with the current accessible vaccines yearly injections are recommended for continued coverage. Those that get sick or exposed are still recommended to be tested and receive appropriate treatment. While that was fully covered in the past none of it will be when the declaration ends. Not to mention vaccines, testing, and treatment are all active events people must willingly partake in, the government could’ve required COVID funds be used for passive mitigation efforts like implementing appropriate filtration and sterilization to air systems for schools. Passive mitigation strategies benefit the public health of the community without requiring the community to actually make an effort themselves. Instead COVID funds went to personal pet projects of local politicians.",
">\n\n\nOne of the impacts of removing the declaration is that ... vaccines ... will no longer be fully covered by private insurance or Medicaid creating a financial burden for many.\n\nWho pays for my free yearly flu vaccine, or the whole host of vaccines my children have received since they were born? I would imagine, with the recent guidance on yearly COVID vaccines, it would be covered the same as all the others we receive through our life.",
">\n\nNot sure of your personal situation but for my family the flu shot was only covered if it was administered in the office of my child’s government selected PCP. Otherwise I was required to pay for the flu shot to be administered at a pharmacy or other location. Her PCP doesn’t carry the flu or COVID shot in office, nor do any of the other pediatricians in our area that are on the state funded health plan.",
">\n\nAs a Canadian... What the fuck?\nI roll up to the pharmacy of my local grocery store in the Fall and have my shot done in 5 minutes... Flash my provincial health card and that's that... \nOh, I'm not at the grocery store but there's literally any pharmacy here? I can go there and get it done... \nI'm at my GP for a physical? I can get it there... \nI'm at the walk-in clinic to get something minor checked? I can get it there instead... \nShit, I'm surprised we don't have drive-thru options yet xD",
">\n\nYes we’re well aware y’all have a better healthcare system - the comparisons have been beaten to death on this site",
">\n\nFrequent reminders that you should have it better than you do are not necessarily a bad thing… Get out of the complacency and demand better.",
">\n\nwhat about those student loans? removing the declaration would give legal challenge ..."
] |
>
Doesn't matter who you vote for. It's shit vs shittier.
Yes but that shittier is EXTREMELY shittier. I mean the Dems did actually push for student debt relief and were blocked by radical right wing judges. Should they have fought harder? Absofuckinglutely. But playing both sides as usual is a joke. | [
"Of all the stock photos of people wearing masks they could choose from, they pick the one with a guy wearing a Porn Hub hat.",
">\n\nNow let’s ask why the fuck he’s wearing a pornhub hat lol. When I leave the house I might put on a Duluth Trading Company hat, that’s a brand I like. Or a University of Wisconsin hat, a school I support. But this guy loves jerking off so much that he wears clothing repping his favorite porn site. You’ve got no choice but to respect that honestly.",
">\n\nOr maybe it is just a spinoff parody hat. Like he is a farmer and it says \"CornBub\".",
">\n\nCorn does have the juice.",
">\n\nI can't imagine a more beautiful thing!",
">\n\nCool now do the ones put in place after 9/11",
">\n\nwill people get dropped from medicaid because of this?",
">\n\nYes, at least where I am they ceased ALL negative actions and renewals for medicaid, while it was still declared an ongoing public health crisis.",
">\n\nThey stopped those protections a while ago here. I just had a client retroactively denied coverage going back to November...",
">\n\nRETROACTIVELY denied?!?? That sounds so evil. :(",
">\n\nInsurance in general is evil :/",
">\n\nBy that, student debt cancellation won’t be a thing.",
">\n\nIsn't the loan repayment pause dependent on the covid emergency declaration as well?",
">\n\nYes. So are the guaranteed sick days, vaccines, medications, hospital stays etc. This will only affect people who are poor and sick. It's not about masks which everyone is pretending. It's about the financial help for the poor and disabled that is being taken away and that's what people are celebrating today.",
">\n\nAlso insurance is more inclined to stamp APPROVED on a lot of the things that are used in bad bouts of COVID. Mostly because the Government has been helping cover some of those costs.\nNow that this is going away, I can assure anyone who gets a bad bout of COVID, your insurance is going to be breaking out the DENIED stamp a lot more often.\nSome of the worse bouts of COVID are six or seven figures. Maybe knock one or two of those digits off with insurance helped by the Government. With this ending, a lot of people are going to be on the hook for that bill now.\nMaybe this is what it takes for people to start treating this pandemic seriously? Million dollar medical bills that will haunt them the rest of their lives. I mean, we're still shedding about 200+ some people a day to COVID. That's ~73k a year. That's twice as many people who die in car wrecks annually and about 20% the rate of people who die from heart disease. That puts it in a firm third place for cause of death in the US.",
">\n\n500+ people a day in the US right now",
">\n\nI mean thank god for those 2 checks we got to help us survive 3 years",
">\n\nAnd then the record inflation, I know they weren't directly related but it made the checks even more meaningless in the long run.",
">\n\nI wonder how this will impact things like loan forgiveness in the courts, which relied on the emergency declaration to get authorization. I have a feeling SCOTUS will give a legally dubious \"it was valid at the time of the order but now the declaration is rescinded, so it would be irrelevant by the time we'd let you do it anyway.\" Thus they don't have to actually decide on whether it was legal and just skip to the boot. They used similar reasoning in other laws they've tossed down in the last decade or so.\nUntil now I thought they were going to toss it down on the basis that \"COVID isn't a big deal anymore,\" and just ignore the emergency declaration - they also used that reasoning in another COVID-related case recently (Gorsuch stood with liberals in opposing that opinion if I recall correctly).",
">\n\nThey specifically put in dates in June for the deadline I believe",
">\n\nWell, they ALSO chose a stock photo of people actually WEARING MASKS!!!",
">\n\nAnd a PornHub baseball cap",
">\n\nThis has real early war on terror \"mission accomplished\" vibes to it.",
">\n\nSince literally before the disaster even began in earnest in America, that's been the message. No wonder we're at 1.1 million deaths and tens of millions with permanent disabilities.",
">\n\npsst: we're also the most obese nation by far, which is a super big risk factor for severe Covid.",
">\n\nI can't read the article but being a caregiver for 2 high risk people, my life won't change. I didn't know there were still protocols in place.",
">\n\nYeah I have family members who have had organ transplants. Zero immune system, produce zero antibodies when vaccinated multiple times. Evushield was pulled because it's not effective. And people don't get it, they act like we're freaks wearing masks still. I have been harassed in public, I was 9 mo pregnant and a man kept banging on my car screaming at me to take off my mask. So I am worried that the state of emergency being changed will just make things worse in terms of respecting people still needing to be careful. I just wish the government cared a little more about the immune compromised, or even just pretended to care.",
">\n\n\nI just wish the government cared a little more about the immune compromised, or even just pretended to care.\n\nThey don't, we have objective evidence they do not now. Anyone in this situation, or caring for someone in this situation is on their own. \nWestern Society has really revealed itself to be an uncaring and selfish construct of humanity through this.",
">\n\nYeah it's really sad, it bothers me how anyone vulnerable is just thrown to the side like they don't matter. It's always been this way here. Look how a lot of nursing homes function.",
">\n\n\nIt's always been this way here.\n\nThis is the personal revelation I have gone through with this. It's not something new, I just didn't understand where we were at, and now that I do, I can't unsee it. \nIt kind of reminds me of Logans run, how everyone was killed off young and didn't really get a chance to understand the reality of their situation. The young and healthy are rarely if ever going to interface with the systems we have in place that are like this, except in extraordinary situations like this one.",
">\n\nNo I'm in a similar boat. I never realized it until very recently, and it's hard to come to terms with. I hope for change but with the current mentality of parents are evil and everyone over 50 is a crazy Trumper, and then no one caring about babies getting sick or people with cancer or pregnant people or organ recipients, i worry it'll get worse before it gets better. Especially with social media breeding such a self centered perspective on life and a sense of self importance. I wonder if it's this way in other countries too or just the US.",
">\n\nIt absolutely is the same way in other countries. It may look a little different, but people have definitely reacted the same way, at least from a logical perspective. \nLook at the Canadian trucker situation, and the Swedish approach to COVID from the start, Q-anon inspired would-be coupers in Germany, etc... \nI don't know how we collectively dig ourselves out of this, but the focus of my life moving forward it to spend what energy and time I have left on this earth trying to figure out what I can do to help move us in that direction. \nWhat I do know is that this is not the way to do things. \nI'm glad you've engaged here, it's always nice to know that there are others out there who are paying attention to things and actually have empathy.",
">\n\nDefinitely, it's been nice chatting with you too. I'm trying to make a difference too, starting within my family while my kids are little and my parents need help, and hopefully finding a way to contribute to change in society too. Take care, stay healthy.",
">\n\nFuck. There goes my Medicaid",
">\n\nAs a student who just got on Medicaid end of last year, could you explain to me why you will lose it? Did you qualify for it during covid but no longer qualify for it now? And with the end of the emergency declarations, it won’t be extended to you?",
">\n\nIf you make over a certain amount of income (in California I think the cutoff is 19K/yr - not sure if it’s different elsewhere) then you don’t qualify for Medicaid, but they’ve been keeping people on their plan during the pandemic regardless. My understanding is that after May 11th, they will no longer provide coverage for folks who don’t technically qualify.",
">\n\n1.1 million people unavailable for comment due to unspecified illness",
">\n\nThat's for the world. The 1.1 million for the US is probably fairly close, as opposed to say India where the excess deaths are about 10x the reported COVID deaths.",
">\n\nI think the US count is still off by hundreds of thousands if you look at excess mortality.",
">\n\nmillions - it doesn't take into account just how many people are living off the counts",
">\n\nWeird because that's my birthday.\nAnyway, whoever reads this, I hope you have a good and prosperous 2023.",
">\n\nThank you so much!",
">\n\nWelp ok. I currently have Covid. It's not bad, but I have missed work now for 7 days. Cough, congestion, exhaustion, yet no fever. Will this be like the flu from now on? Who knows. I just don't know what to do.",
">\n\nMost of us are mainly concerned because the \"new norm\" is just the status quo with no increased safety nets for a disease that is still much more than the flu. Covid will cause people to lose jobs and more without the protection because we learned nothing and put nothing into place. Collectively. Individually I can protect myself but that is little comfort if I get long covid and lose my job.",
">\n\nA proper road ahead is pretty clear it. The road has just been heavily sabotaged with politics and misinformation. Covid will hurt a lot of people in the US because of this, somewhat, forced designation removal.\nFor the pragmatic individuals like myself we see the road that is paved with politics, misinformation and good ol American stubbornness having a huge hole in it when it comes to the \"next thing\". If we, for example, get a disease in the h1n1 levels of virility as the \"next one\" A LOT of people are going to die because of bad lessons learned from this go around.",
">\n\n\nA proper road ahead is pretty clear\n\nOK, but what is it?",
">\n\nCongrats to COVID for winning the war on COVID.",
">\n\nGreat. Once the emergency declarations are lifted we'll just have COVID-19.",
">\n\nY'all know you can still take precautions against COVID without there being emergency declarations right?",
">\n\nSure, but that ain't gonna make the hospitals any less crowded. \nEvery procedure I've had for the last three years has faced major difficulties in availability thanks to the combination of the pandemic and doctor burnout. \nIt's the sole reason my right knee is still pitiful human flesh and not kick-ass chrome-plated titanium.",
">\n\nAre the emergency declarations making the hospitals less crowded?",
">\n\nI honestly don't know what these people actually want. We are 3 years out now and I see maybe 5% masked out in public. Everyone who wanted to get the vaccine has received it. People are over it, we have done what we can do. China stayed isolated indoors for 3 years and is currently getting overrun, I'm not sure what people who complain about removing the emergency declaration are actually wanting the government to do for them?\nJust wear a mask in public and avoid people, if that's what you want to do.",
">\n\nOne of the impacts of removing the declaration is that testing, vaccines, and treatments will no longer be fully covered by private insurance or Medicaid creating a financial burden for many. Keep in mind with the current accessible vaccines yearly injections are recommended for continued coverage. Those that get sick or exposed are still recommended to be tested and receive appropriate treatment. While that was fully covered in the past none of it will be when the declaration ends. Not to mention vaccines, testing, and treatment are all active events people must willingly partake in, the government could’ve required COVID funds be used for passive mitigation efforts like implementing appropriate filtration and sterilization to air systems for schools. Passive mitigation strategies benefit the public health of the community without requiring the community to actually make an effort themselves. Instead COVID funds went to personal pet projects of local politicians.",
">\n\n\nOne of the impacts of removing the declaration is that ... vaccines ... will no longer be fully covered by private insurance or Medicaid creating a financial burden for many.\n\nWho pays for my free yearly flu vaccine, or the whole host of vaccines my children have received since they were born? I would imagine, with the recent guidance on yearly COVID vaccines, it would be covered the same as all the others we receive through our life.",
">\n\nNot sure of your personal situation but for my family the flu shot was only covered if it was administered in the office of my child’s government selected PCP. Otherwise I was required to pay for the flu shot to be administered at a pharmacy or other location. Her PCP doesn’t carry the flu or COVID shot in office, nor do any of the other pediatricians in our area that are on the state funded health plan.",
">\n\nAs a Canadian... What the fuck?\nI roll up to the pharmacy of my local grocery store in the Fall and have my shot done in 5 minutes... Flash my provincial health card and that's that... \nOh, I'm not at the grocery store but there's literally any pharmacy here? I can go there and get it done... \nI'm at my GP for a physical? I can get it there... \nI'm at the walk-in clinic to get something minor checked? I can get it there instead... \nShit, I'm surprised we don't have drive-thru options yet xD",
">\n\nYes we’re well aware y’all have a better healthcare system - the comparisons have been beaten to death on this site",
">\n\nFrequent reminders that you should have it better than you do are not necessarily a bad thing… Get out of the complacency and demand better.",
">\n\nwhat about those student loans? removing the declaration would give legal challenge ...",
">\n\nPsst...that ship has sailed. I would have owed $700 between my spouse and me. Guess what, fully prepared to start paying back the 20k now.\nThey don't care about us and never did. As long as businesses, owners, and CEOs keep their money flowing. Doesn't matter who you vote for. It's shit vs shittier."
] |
>
Reminiscent of W. Bush on an aircraft carrier with a Mission Accomplished banner. | [
"Of all the stock photos of people wearing masks they could choose from, they pick the one with a guy wearing a Porn Hub hat.",
">\n\nNow let’s ask why the fuck he’s wearing a pornhub hat lol. When I leave the house I might put on a Duluth Trading Company hat, that’s a brand I like. Or a University of Wisconsin hat, a school I support. But this guy loves jerking off so much that he wears clothing repping his favorite porn site. You’ve got no choice but to respect that honestly.",
">\n\nOr maybe it is just a spinoff parody hat. Like he is a farmer and it says \"CornBub\".",
">\n\nCorn does have the juice.",
">\n\nI can't imagine a more beautiful thing!",
">\n\nCool now do the ones put in place after 9/11",
">\n\nwill people get dropped from medicaid because of this?",
">\n\nYes, at least where I am they ceased ALL negative actions and renewals for medicaid, while it was still declared an ongoing public health crisis.",
">\n\nThey stopped those protections a while ago here. I just had a client retroactively denied coverage going back to November...",
">\n\nRETROACTIVELY denied?!?? That sounds so evil. :(",
">\n\nInsurance in general is evil :/",
">\n\nBy that, student debt cancellation won’t be a thing.",
">\n\nIsn't the loan repayment pause dependent on the covid emergency declaration as well?",
">\n\nYes. So are the guaranteed sick days, vaccines, medications, hospital stays etc. This will only affect people who are poor and sick. It's not about masks which everyone is pretending. It's about the financial help for the poor and disabled that is being taken away and that's what people are celebrating today.",
">\n\nAlso insurance is more inclined to stamp APPROVED on a lot of the things that are used in bad bouts of COVID. Mostly because the Government has been helping cover some of those costs.\nNow that this is going away, I can assure anyone who gets a bad bout of COVID, your insurance is going to be breaking out the DENIED stamp a lot more often.\nSome of the worse bouts of COVID are six or seven figures. Maybe knock one or two of those digits off with insurance helped by the Government. With this ending, a lot of people are going to be on the hook for that bill now.\nMaybe this is what it takes for people to start treating this pandemic seriously? Million dollar medical bills that will haunt them the rest of their lives. I mean, we're still shedding about 200+ some people a day to COVID. That's ~73k a year. That's twice as many people who die in car wrecks annually and about 20% the rate of people who die from heart disease. That puts it in a firm third place for cause of death in the US.",
">\n\n500+ people a day in the US right now",
">\n\nI mean thank god for those 2 checks we got to help us survive 3 years",
">\n\nAnd then the record inflation, I know they weren't directly related but it made the checks even more meaningless in the long run.",
">\n\nI wonder how this will impact things like loan forgiveness in the courts, which relied on the emergency declaration to get authorization. I have a feeling SCOTUS will give a legally dubious \"it was valid at the time of the order but now the declaration is rescinded, so it would be irrelevant by the time we'd let you do it anyway.\" Thus they don't have to actually decide on whether it was legal and just skip to the boot. They used similar reasoning in other laws they've tossed down in the last decade or so.\nUntil now I thought they were going to toss it down on the basis that \"COVID isn't a big deal anymore,\" and just ignore the emergency declaration - they also used that reasoning in another COVID-related case recently (Gorsuch stood with liberals in opposing that opinion if I recall correctly).",
">\n\nThey specifically put in dates in June for the deadline I believe",
">\n\nWell, they ALSO chose a stock photo of people actually WEARING MASKS!!!",
">\n\nAnd a PornHub baseball cap",
">\n\nThis has real early war on terror \"mission accomplished\" vibes to it.",
">\n\nSince literally before the disaster even began in earnest in America, that's been the message. No wonder we're at 1.1 million deaths and tens of millions with permanent disabilities.",
">\n\npsst: we're also the most obese nation by far, which is a super big risk factor for severe Covid.",
">\n\nI can't read the article but being a caregiver for 2 high risk people, my life won't change. I didn't know there were still protocols in place.",
">\n\nYeah I have family members who have had organ transplants. Zero immune system, produce zero antibodies when vaccinated multiple times. Evushield was pulled because it's not effective. And people don't get it, they act like we're freaks wearing masks still. I have been harassed in public, I was 9 mo pregnant and a man kept banging on my car screaming at me to take off my mask. So I am worried that the state of emergency being changed will just make things worse in terms of respecting people still needing to be careful. I just wish the government cared a little more about the immune compromised, or even just pretended to care.",
">\n\n\nI just wish the government cared a little more about the immune compromised, or even just pretended to care.\n\nThey don't, we have objective evidence they do not now. Anyone in this situation, or caring for someone in this situation is on their own. \nWestern Society has really revealed itself to be an uncaring and selfish construct of humanity through this.",
">\n\nYeah it's really sad, it bothers me how anyone vulnerable is just thrown to the side like they don't matter. It's always been this way here. Look how a lot of nursing homes function.",
">\n\n\nIt's always been this way here.\n\nThis is the personal revelation I have gone through with this. It's not something new, I just didn't understand where we were at, and now that I do, I can't unsee it. \nIt kind of reminds me of Logans run, how everyone was killed off young and didn't really get a chance to understand the reality of their situation. The young and healthy are rarely if ever going to interface with the systems we have in place that are like this, except in extraordinary situations like this one.",
">\n\nNo I'm in a similar boat. I never realized it until very recently, and it's hard to come to terms with. I hope for change but with the current mentality of parents are evil and everyone over 50 is a crazy Trumper, and then no one caring about babies getting sick or people with cancer or pregnant people or organ recipients, i worry it'll get worse before it gets better. Especially with social media breeding such a self centered perspective on life and a sense of self importance. I wonder if it's this way in other countries too or just the US.",
">\n\nIt absolutely is the same way in other countries. It may look a little different, but people have definitely reacted the same way, at least from a logical perspective. \nLook at the Canadian trucker situation, and the Swedish approach to COVID from the start, Q-anon inspired would-be coupers in Germany, etc... \nI don't know how we collectively dig ourselves out of this, but the focus of my life moving forward it to spend what energy and time I have left on this earth trying to figure out what I can do to help move us in that direction. \nWhat I do know is that this is not the way to do things. \nI'm glad you've engaged here, it's always nice to know that there are others out there who are paying attention to things and actually have empathy.",
">\n\nDefinitely, it's been nice chatting with you too. I'm trying to make a difference too, starting within my family while my kids are little and my parents need help, and hopefully finding a way to contribute to change in society too. Take care, stay healthy.",
">\n\nFuck. There goes my Medicaid",
">\n\nAs a student who just got on Medicaid end of last year, could you explain to me why you will lose it? Did you qualify for it during covid but no longer qualify for it now? And with the end of the emergency declarations, it won’t be extended to you?",
">\n\nIf you make over a certain amount of income (in California I think the cutoff is 19K/yr - not sure if it’s different elsewhere) then you don’t qualify for Medicaid, but they’ve been keeping people on their plan during the pandemic regardless. My understanding is that after May 11th, they will no longer provide coverage for folks who don’t technically qualify.",
">\n\n1.1 million people unavailable for comment due to unspecified illness",
">\n\nThat's for the world. The 1.1 million for the US is probably fairly close, as opposed to say India where the excess deaths are about 10x the reported COVID deaths.",
">\n\nI think the US count is still off by hundreds of thousands if you look at excess mortality.",
">\n\nmillions - it doesn't take into account just how many people are living off the counts",
">\n\nWeird because that's my birthday.\nAnyway, whoever reads this, I hope you have a good and prosperous 2023.",
">\n\nThank you so much!",
">\n\nWelp ok. I currently have Covid. It's not bad, but I have missed work now for 7 days. Cough, congestion, exhaustion, yet no fever. Will this be like the flu from now on? Who knows. I just don't know what to do.",
">\n\nMost of us are mainly concerned because the \"new norm\" is just the status quo with no increased safety nets for a disease that is still much more than the flu. Covid will cause people to lose jobs and more without the protection because we learned nothing and put nothing into place. Collectively. Individually I can protect myself but that is little comfort if I get long covid and lose my job.",
">\n\nA proper road ahead is pretty clear it. The road has just been heavily sabotaged with politics and misinformation. Covid will hurt a lot of people in the US because of this, somewhat, forced designation removal.\nFor the pragmatic individuals like myself we see the road that is paved with politics, misinformation and good ol American stubbornness having a huge hole in it when it comes to the \"next thing\". If we, for example, get a disease in the h1n1 levels of virility as the \"next one\" A LOT of people are going to die because of bad lessons learned from this go around.",
">\n\n\nA proper road ahead is pretty clear\n\nOK, but what is it?",
">\n\nCongrats to COVID for winning the war on COVID.",
">\n\nGreat. Once the emergency declarations are lifted we'll just have COVID-19.",
">\n\nY'all know you can still take precautions against COVID without there being emergency declarations right?",
">\n\nSure, but that ain't gonna make the hospitals any less crowded. \nEvery procedure I've had for the last three years has faced major difficulties in availability thanks to the combination of the pandemic and doctor burnout. \nIt's the sole reason my right knee is still pitiful human flesh and not kick-ass chrome-plated titanium.",
">\n\nAre the emergency declarations making the hospitals less crowded?",
">\n\nI honestly don't know what these people actually want. We are 3 years out now and I see maybe 5% masked out in public. Everyone who wanted to get the vaccine has received it. People are over it, we have done what we can do. China stayed isolated indoors for 3 years and is currently getting overrun, I'm not sure what people who complain about removing the emergency declaration are actually wanting the government to do for them?\nJust wear a mask in public and avoid people, if that's what you want to do.",
">\n\nOne of the impacts of removing the declaration is that testing, vaccines, and treatments will no longer be fully covered by private insurance or Medicaid creating a financial burden for many. Keep in mind with the current accessible vaccines yearly injections are recommended for continued coverage. Those that get sick or exposed are still recommended to be tested and receive appropriate treatment. While that was fully covered in the past none of it will be when the declaration ends. Not to mention vaccines, testing, and treatment are all active events people must willingly partake in, the government could’ve required COVID funds be used for passive mitigation efforts like implementing appropriate filtration and sterilization to air systems for schools. Passive mitigation strategies benefit the public health of the community without requiring the community to actually make an effort themselves. Instead COVID funds went to personal pet projects of local politicians.",
">\n\n\nOne of the impacts of removing the declaration is that ... vaccines ... will no longer be fully covered by private insurance or Medicaid creating a financial burden for many.\n\nWho pays for my free yearly flu vaccine, or the whole host of vaccines my children have received since they were born? I would imagine, with the recent guidance on yearly COVID vaccines, it would be covered the same as all the others we receive through our life.",
">\n\nNot sure of your personal situation but for my family the flu shot was only covered if it was administered in the office of my child’s government selected PCP. Otherwise I was required to pay for the flu shot to be administered at a pharmacy or other location. Her PCP doesn’t carry the flu or COVID shot in office, nor do any of the other pediatricians in our area that are on the state funded health plan.",
">\n\nAs a Canadian... What the fuck?\nI roll up to the pharmacy of my local grocery store in the Fall and have my shot done in 5 minutes... Flash my provincial health card and that's that... \nOh, I'm not at the grocery store but there's literally any pharmacy here? I can go there and get it done... \nI'm at my GP for a physical? I can get it there... \nI'm at the walk-in clinic to get something minor checked? I can get it there instead... \nShit, I'm surprised we don't have drive-thru options yet xD",
">\n\nYes we’re well aware y’all have a better healthcare system - the comparisons have been beaten to death on this site",
">\n\nFrequent reminders that you should have it better than you do are not necessarily a bad thing… Get out of the complacency and demand better.",
">\n\nwhat about those student loans? removing the declaration would give legal challenge ...",
">\n\nPsst...that ship has sailed. I would have owed $700 between my spouse and me. Guess what, fully prepared to start paying back the 20k now.\nThey don't care about us and never did. As long as businesses, owners, and CEOs keep their money flowing. Doesn't matter who you vote for. It's shit vs shittier.",
">\n\n\nDoesn't matter who you vote for. It's shit vs shittier.\n\nYes but that shittier is EXTREMELY shittier. I mean the Dems did actually push for student debt relief and were blocked by radical right wing judges. Should they have fought harder? Absofuckinglutely. But playing both sides as usual is a joke."
] |
>
Us: “Are you sure it’s really ov—“
Govt: “It SAYS ‘Mission Accomplished’.”
Us: “But—“
Govt: “MISSION. ACCOMPLISHED.” | [
"Of all the stock photos of people wearing masks they could choose from, they pick the one with a guy wearing a Porn Hub hat.",
">\n\nNow let’s ask why the fuck he’s wearing a pornhub hat lol. When I leave the house I might put on a Duluth Trading Company hat, that’s a brand I like. Or a University of Wisconsin hat, a school I support. But this guy loves jerking off so much that he wears clothing repping his favorite porn site. You’ve got no choice but to respect that honestly.",
">\n\nOr maybe it is just a spinoff parody hat. Like he is a farmer and it says \"CornBub\".",
">\n\nCorn does have the juice.",
">\n\nI can't imagine a more beautiful thing!",
">\n\nCool now do the ones put in place after 9/11",
">\n\nwill people get dropped from medicaid because of this?",
">\n\nYes, at least where I am they ceased ALL negative actions and renewals for medicaid, while it was still declared an ongoing public health crisis.",
">\n\nThey stopped those protections a while ago here. I just had a client retroactively denied coverage going back to November...",
">\n\nRETROACTIVELY denied?!?? That sounds so evil. :(",
">\n\nInsurance in general is evil :/",
">\n\nBy that, student debt cancellation won’t be a thing.",
">\n\nIsn't the loan repayment pause dependent on the covid emergency declaration as well?",
">\n\nYes. So are the guaranteed sick days, vaccines, medications, hospital stays etc. This will only affect people who are poor and sick. It's not about masks which everyone is pretending. It's about the financial help for the poor and disabled that is being taken away and that's what people are celebrating today.",
">\n\nAlso insurance is more inclined to stamp APPROVED on a lot of the things that are used in bad bouts of COVID. Mostly because the Government has been helping cover some of those costs.\nNow that this is going away, I can assure anyone who gets a bad bout of COVID, your insurance is going to be breaking out the DENIED stamp a lot more often.\nSome of the worse bouts of COVID are six or seven figures. Maybe knock one or two of those digits off with insurance helped by the Government. With this ending, a lot of people are going to be on the hook for that bill now.\nMaybe this is what it takes for people to start treating this pandemic seriously? Million dollar medical bills that will haunt them the rest of their lives. I mean, we're still shedding about 200+ some people a day to COVID. That's ~73k a year. That's twice as many people who die in car wrecks annually and about 20% the rate of people who die from heart disease. That puts it in a firm third place for cause of death in the US.",
">\n\n500+ people a day in the US right now",
">\n\nI mean thank god for those 2 checks we got to help us survive 3 years",
">\n\nAnd then the record inflation, I know they weren't directly related but it made the checks even more meaningless in the long run.",
">\n\nI wonder how this will impact things like loan forgiveness in the courts, which relied on the emergency declaration to get authorization. I have a feeling SCOTUS will give a legally dubious \"it was valid at the time of the order but now the declaration is rescinded, so it would be irrelevant by the time we'd let you do it anyway.\" Thus they don't have to actually decide on whether it was legal and just skip to the boot. They used similar reasoning in other laws they've tossed down in the last decade or so.\nUntil now I thought they were going to toss it down on the basis that \"COVID isn't a big deal anymore,\" and just ignore the emergency declaration - they also used that reasoning in another COVID-related case recently (Gorsuch stood with liberals in opposing that opinion if I recall correctly).",
">\n\nThey specifically put in dates in June for the deadline I believe",
">\n\nWell, they ALSO chose a stock photo of people actually WEARING MASKS!!!",
">\n\nAnd a PornHub baseball cap",
">\n\nThis has real early war on terror \"mission accomplished\" vibes to it.",
">\n\nSince literally before the disaster even began in earnest in America, that's been the message. No wonder we're at 1.1 million deaths and tens of millions with permanent disabilities.",
">\n\npsst: we're also the most obese nation by far, which is a super big risk factor for severe Covid.",
">\n\nI can't read the article but being a caregiver for 2 high risk people, my life won't change. I didn't know there were still protocols in place.",
">\n\nYeah I have family members who have had organ transplants. Zero immune system, produce zero antibodies when vaccinated multiple times. Evushield was pulled because it's not effective. And people don't get it, they act like we're freaks wearing masks still. I have been harassed in public, I was 9 mo pregnant and a man kept banging on my car screaming at me to take off my mask. So I am worried that the state of emergency being changed will just make things worse in terms of respecting people still needing to be careful. I just wish the government cared a little more about the immune compromised, or even just pretended to care.",
">\n\n\nI just wish the government cared a little more about the immune compromised, or even just pretended to care.\n\nThey don't, we have objective evidence they do not now. Anyone in this situation, or caring for someone in this situation is on their own. \nWestern Society has really revealed itself to be an uncaring and selfish construct of humanity through this.",
">\n\nYeah it's really sad, it bothers me how anyone vulnerable is just thrown to the side like they don't matter. It's always been this way here. Look how a lot of nursing homes function.",
">\n\n\nIt's always been this way here.\n\nThis is the personal revelation I have gone through with this. It's not something new, I just didn't understand where we were at, and now that I do, I can't unsee it. \nIt kind of reminds me of Logans run, how everyone was killed off young and didn't really get a chance to understand the reality of their situation. The young and healthy are rarely if ever going to interface with the systems we have in place that are like this, except in extraordinary situations like this one.",
">\n\nNo I'm in a similar boat. I never realized it until very recently, and it's hard to come to terms with. I hope for change but with the current mentality of parents are evil and everyone over 50 is a crazy Trumper, and then no one caring about babies getting sick or people with cancer or pregnant people or organ recipients, i worry it'll get worse before it gets better. Especially with social media breeding such a self centered perspective on life and a sense of self importance. I wonder if it's this way in other countries too or just the US.",
">\n\nIt absolutely is the same way in other countries. It may look a little different, but people have definitely reacted the same way, at least from a logical perspective. \nLook at the Canadian trucker situation, and the Swedish approach to COVID from the start, Q-anon inspired would-be coupers in Germany, etc... \nI don't know how we collectively dig ourselves out of this, but the focus of my life moving forward it to spend what energy and time I have left on this earth trying to figure out what I can do to help move us in that direction. \nWhat I do know is that this is not the way to do things. \nI'm glad you've engaged here, it's always nice to know that there are others out there who are paying attention to things and actually have empathy.",
">\n\nDefinitely, it's been nice chatting with you too. I'm trying to make a difference too, starting within my family while my kids are little and my parents need help, and hopefully finding a way to contribute to change in society too. Take care, stay healthy.",
">\n\nFuck. There goes my Medicaid",
">\n\nAs a student who just got on Medicaid end of last year, could you explain to me why you will lose it? Did you qualify for it during covid but no longer qualify for it now? And with the end of the emergency declarations, it won’t be extended to you?",
">\n\nIf you make over a certain amount of income (in California I think the cutoff is 19K/yr - not sure if it’s different elsewhere) then you don’t qualify for Medicaid, but they’ve been keeping people on their plan during the pandemic regardless. My understanding is that after May 11th, they will no longer provide coverage for folks who don’t technically qualify.",
">\n\n1.1 million people unavailable for comment due to unspecified illness",
">\n\nThat's for the world. The 1.1 million for the US is probably fairly close, as opposed to say India where the excess deaths are about 10x the reported COVID deaths.",
">\n\nI think the US count is still off by hundreds of thousands if you look at excess mortality.",
">\n\nmillions - it doesn't take into account just how many people are living off the counts",
">\n\nWeird because that's my birthday.\nAnyway, whoever reads this, I hope you have a good and prosperous 2023.",
">\n\nThank you so much!",
">\n\nWelp ok. I currently have Covid. It's not bad, but I have missed work now for 7 days. Cough, congestion, exhaustion, yet no fever. Will this be like the flu from now on? Who knows. I just don't know what to do.",
">\n\nMost of us are mainly concerned because the \"new norm\" is just the status quo with no increased safety nets for a disease that is still much more than the flu. Covid will cause people to lose jobs and more without the protection because we learned nothing and put nothing into place. Collectively. Individually I can protect myself but that is little comfort if I get long covid and lose my job.",
">\n\nA proper road ahead is pretty clear it. The road has just been heavily sabotaged with politics and misinformation. Covid will hurt a lot of people in the US because of this, somewhat, forced designation removal.\nFor the pragmatic individuals like myself we see the road that is paved with politics, misinformation and good ol American stubbornness having a huge hole in it when it comes to the \"next thing\". If we, for example, get a disease in the h1n1 levels of virility as the \"next one\" A LOT of people are going to die because of bad lessons learned from this go around.",
">\n\n\nA proper road ahead is pretty clear\n\nOK, but what is it?",
">\n\nCongrats to COVID for winning the war on COVID.",
">\n\nGreat. Once the emergency declarations are lifted we'll just have COVID-19.",
">\n\nY'all know you can still take precautions against COVID without there being emergency declarations right?",
">\n\nSure, but that ain't gonna make the hospitals any less crowded. \nEvery procedure I've had for the last three years has faced major difficulties in availability thanks to the combination of the pandemic and doctor burnout. \nIt's the sole reason my right knee is still pitiful human flesh and not kick-ass chrome-plated titanium.",
">\n\nAre the emergency declarations making the hospitals less crowded?",
">\n\nI honestly don't know what these people actually want. We are 3 years out now and I see maybe 5% masked out in public. Everyone who wanted to get the vaccine has received it. People are over it, we have done what we can do. China stayed isolated indoors for 3 years and is currently getting overrun, I'm not sure what people who complain about removing the emergency declaration are actually wanting the government to do for them?\nJust wear a mask in public and avoid people, if that's what you want to do.",
">\n\nOne of the impacts of removing the declaration is that testing, vaccines, and treatments will no longer be fully covered by private insurance or Medicaid creating a financial burden for many. Keep in mind with the current accessible vaccines yearly injections are recommended for continued coverage. Those that get sick or exposed are still recommended to be tested and receive appropriate treatment. While that was fully covered in the past none of it will be when the declaration ends. Not to mention vaccines, testing, and treatment are all active events people must willingly partake in, the government could’ve required COVID funds be used for passive mitigation efforts like implementing appropriate filtration and sterilization to air systems for schools. Passive mitigation strategies benefit the public health of the community without requiring the community to actually make an effort themselves. Instead COVID funds went to personal pet projects of local politicians.",
">\n\n\nOne of the impacts of removing the declaration is that ... vaccines ... will no longer be fully covered by private insurance or Medicaid creating a financial burden for many.\n\nWho pays for my free yearly flu vaccine, or the whole host of vaccines my children have received since they were born? I would imagine, with the recent guidance on yearly COVID vaccines, it would be covered the same as all the others we receive through our life.",
">\n\nNot sure of your personal situation but for my family the flu shot was only covered if it was administered in the office of my child’s government selected PCP. Otherwise I was required to pay for the flu shot to be administered at a pharmacy or other location. Her PCP doesn’t carry the flu or COVID shot in office, nor do any of the other pediatricians in our area that are on the state funded health plan.",
">\n\nAs a Canadian... What the fuck?\nI roll up to the pharmacy of my local grocery store in the Fall and have my shot done in 5 minutes... Flash my provincial health card and that's that... \nOh, I'm not at the grocery store but there's literally any pharmacy here? I can go there and get it done... \nI'm at my GP for a physical? I can get it there... \nI'm at the walk-in clinic to get something minor checked? I can get it there instead... \nShit, I'm surprised we don't have drive-thru options yet xD",
">\n\nYes we’re well aware y’all have a better healthcare system - the comparisons have been beaten to death on this site",
">\n\nFrequent reminders that you should have it better than you do are not necessarily a bad thing… Get out of the complacency and demand better.",
">\n\nwhat about those student loans? removing the declaration would give legal challenge ...",
">\n\nPsst...that ship has sailed. I would have owed $700 between my spouse and me. Guess what, fully prepared to start paying back the 20k now.\nThey don't care about us and never did. As long as businesses, owners, and CEOs keep their money flowing. Doesn't matter who you vote for. It's shit vs shittier.",
">\n\n\nDoesn't matter who you vote for. It's shit vs shittier.\n\nYes but that shittier is EXTREMELY shittier. I mean the Dems did actually push for student debt relief and were blocked by radical right wing judges. Should they have fought harder? Absofuckinglutely. But playing both sides as usual is a joke.",
">\n\nReminiscent of W. Bush on an aircraft carrier with a Mission Accomplished banner."
] |
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