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SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: (29m) caught my girlfriend (33f) kissing another guy
POST: I took my girlfriend of 6 months (although we have dated off and on for 10 yrs) to a party at a friends house saturday night, we also took along her guy friend and his wife. The night went pretty well, everybody was having fun and drinking, the trouble started when we all went outside for a smoke. We all had enough of the cold and went back inside except for my gf and her guy friend, I can't remember exactly what made me do it but as soon as i went inside I decided to take a look out the window to see what they were up too... I saw her with her arms draped around his neck kissing on his neck. I was so beyond pissed, rushed outside and confronted them told everyone it was time to go. My girlfriend refused to come with me but her guy friend and his wife loaded up and took them back to there car, resisting the urge to punch him in the face. I returned back to my friends house to talk my gf into letting me take her home, she refused saying that they were just playing and joking about P.D.A. which is what we were talking about when we were all outside but I didn't buy it. She started crying still refusing to go with me, we slept on separate couches and i took her home the following morning not a word was spoken. I just don't know what to believe or what to do, I don't think I could trust her ever again but we've been through so much together and she has 3 kids who are my world. Should I try and work things out or move on?
TL;DR: | caught my girlfriend kissing on a guy friend, she claims they were just playing around about P.D.A but I don't believe her. Should I try and salvage the relationship or move on? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [19M] got my dream job in LA, but it would mean moving away from my love [19F] of almost a year.
POST: So I have been dating this girl I met in my freshman year of college for almost a year. I have never been more happy and I couldn't imagine life without her or with anyone else. She's my entire world and I can honestly say I want to marry her. The other night, I received an offer from a VERY big youtuber (who shall remain nameless) to come be his video editor in Los Angeles. He would pay me $3600 a month. I would live with two other youtubers who work with him and pay rent. This is of course, a great opportunity for me. However, accepting this would mean that I would have to move away from the girl I've been planning my future around. I don't know what to do. I already have a lease for an apartment signed back at my college and so does she. The thought of leaving her alone out there breaks my heart and scares me. Not being there to share new memories and the possibility of us breaking up down the road is heart breaking and I just don't know what to do. My family supports me moving but I honestly just am so lost. I want to go, yes, but as soon as I accept the fact that I will leave, the thought creeps in that I could stay if I wanted and finish my degree and end up being with her.
I told her and she's very sad and upset and angry but also supportive. Seeing her face cry and hearing your voice on the phone whimpering kills me. I keep looking at old pictures of us and listening to our songs and not knowing what to do. I want to stay so badly. But I also feel like I need to go. I am going to visit her in New Jersey in a few weeks and I'm scared. I keep imagining going and telling her I'm not leaving and being eternally happy.
Please help.
TL;DR: | got a job offer in LA, I would have to move away from my girlfriend, don't know what to do. |
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU by sending an inappropriate photo to the girl I really like.
POST: This happened this morning actually.
I've been talking to this girl I met on reddit, lets call her M. She is really something else, funny, cute, into guns like me. And on top of everything she plans on moving near me here soon. Sadly me and her are kinda of only friends, which i understand why. But it doesn't change my feelings towards her.
Now here is where the Fuck up starts. I also met another lady on reddit, and she only wants to be friends, but with more benefits if you catch my drift. She has a very similar name to the girl i really have feelings for. But my stupid brain decided to send her a certain photo of my member. In my morning haze I accidentally sent the photo to M. I quickly apologized, but she hasn't messaged me back. I don't know if she will :(
TL;DR: | I think i screwed up my chance with the girl i truly like, because i couldn't keep it in my pants with another gal. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [18F] with my ex [18 M] dated almost two years. Am still in love with him.
POST: I'm in absolute love with him. He does the whole come here, come here, go away, come here scenario. For weeks he will be out of my life then he will come back randomly and we talk for hours.
The thing is we have been apart for over 2 years now. And he has a girlfriend and lives with her. But you can tell from what he says and how he tries to contact me he is trying to talk to me in secret from her. It's a very odd situation. But I need advice, if he clearly wants to still talk to me and does so in secret what exactly are his motives? What do I do?
TL;DR: | I'm still in love with my ex who comes in and out of my life still and yet he has a girlfriend and lives with her. Advice? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [26f] with my bf [29m] 1 year, he won't stop giving me shit because I like beef well cooked, etc.
POST: Petty issue, and please don't start right off with ZOMG HE'S A JERK BREAK UP, I know this sub is super breakup happy.
So Tom has a big issue with the fact that I don't eat meat that's (to me) undercooked. I don't like medium, rare, etc beef. I have other things that I prefer when I eat (I like bacon crispy, I like pasta cooked further than al dente, etc) but he often times gets really assholish about it.
I've asked him to stop bringing it up and stop commenting, and he will, but we just went to get burgers at this place and I asked for mine cooked well-done and he asked me why I bothered getting a burger if I just wanted an "overcooked slab of dried out meat."
I said that's just how I like it, and if he didn't like it, he didn't have to watch me eat it. So he got up and sat across the restaurant!
Anyway this is one small issue in a sea of positive things so I'd love a solution to get him to shut the fuck up already.
TL;DR: | BF has an issue with me eating well cooked beef. I need a way to get him to shut up about it! |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My [18M] ex gf [18F] went to unnecessary distances to burn our bridge.
POST: Okay so I just broke up with my ex gf of 1 year. She has just gotten enough strength to end it with me after she has told me that she was unhappy with dating me. She tries to turn it into a "break" that would last for 2 months and I agreed to the terms that we are broken up in this "break" and anything goes in the "break." 2 days later she meets up with a guy from tinder and ends up making out with him and getting fingered. TMI? She confessed this all to me 5 days later when I drove to go see her 1 hour away from where i lived. I wanted to tell her that I didnt want to continue with a break anymore because she seemed happy without me, might as well end it for good and have no hope of returning right? . She says she regrets doing it and knows that he is just a rebound but will continue to "break hearts" she says. meaning she wants to go through many boys without ever having feelings for them so that she could get over me. she wanted to "burn every bridge with [me] so that she could never get back together with me. Here's the weird part though, she also says that she still values me and respects me and wants to at least be friends with me. My first instinct is to stay away but I also want to be friends. If she had not have done what she did, I could work around being just friends, but now I've lost trust and believe that she is reckless. I'm also angry she did such an unnecessary thing but I did agree to a "everything goes break " So what should i do? Friends or distance? I actually want to do both somehow. I still have this soft spot for her where I care about her and I don't want any guy to hurt her, but she hurt me so should I just let her get HIV or something?
TL;DR: | My ex gf went on tinder, met and fooled around with a guy to get over me then says she wants to at least be friends. What should I do? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My boyfriend (M26) got signed to a major record label. I'm (F25) afraid I'm going to lose him.
POST: Hi. So two weeks ago, my boyfriend (M26) of nine months told me (F25) he finally got the break he was waiting for and signed with a major record label. This is totally preliminary right now and they're working out the details on the advance, album release, etc. Most artists who are signed to record labels never make it big but there are always a percentage who do. He's already starting to get a tiny bit of recognition in public and this worries me.
We've talked about getting married and having a family in a couple years and all of those things might go out the window if he's successful. He says we'll be fine but I'm not so sure. I'm terrified I'm going to lose him and my insecurity is turning me into a clingy, jealous, possessive girlfriend. He's been really patient with me but I know he's going to reach a breaking point if I can't get this under control.
I'll admit, I've been going through his phone when he's not looking and reading his emails. I feel terrible for doing this but I can't control myself. I've been needing constant affirmation from him that he still loves me and wants me and there's no reason for that because he's always been an attentive and loving boyfriend. Right now, he's visiting his parents a couple states away and I'm a nervous wreck because I texted him an hour ago and he still hasn't texted me back. It's things like this that make me crazy.
This is going to sound god awful but does it make me a bad girlfriend if I secretly hope that he's not successful in music? I know statistically speaking, he won't be successful but what if he is? Will he leave me for a prettier, rich girl? What if I'm no longer good enough for him and he's embarrassed to be with me? It's those kinds of things that constantly run through my mind. Please, smack some sense into me. I'm thinking it might be a good idea to go to a therapist before these insecurities ruin my relationship. Sigh.
TL;DR: | My boyfriend (M26) of nine months got signed to a major record label and now I'm (F25) worried I'm going to lose him. I've become a crazy girlfriend. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [33 M] broke up with my girlfriend [33 F] of 3 years, and I racked with immense guilt.
POST: We have been together for what felt like a happy three years. Fell in love at first sight, moved in at 6 months, and I just ended it a few days ago. I ended it because I got to the point where I felt sick every time I even looked at an engagement ring or thought about us getting married and I knew that is what she really wanted from me.
The breaking point came when we planned this amazing trip to Asia and I felt like I did not want to go... with her. I felt consumed with guilt. We had always been "that" couple that everyone says looks so perfect and wished they had something like we did. I had been sending mixed signals waffling between "I wanted to get married, buy a house, have kids" and "why don't we just live together and not do the traditional marriage." A few months ago I panicked about marriage and ended it but when I saw how much it hurt her I immediately rescinded because I couldn't take it.
Ultimately I still felt that gut feeling that this relationship was not going to fulfill me and that I was getting bored. So I ended it. She is distraught. Begging that we get back together, worried about what she is going to do. We live in my place and I make significantly more money than her. She got used to living in my income bracket and I think she is shock at what it will be like to live in hers.
We still live together but she is staying with a friend. I feel horrible about it. I guess I am looking for validation for what I did. I don;t really know what to ask but I feel so eaten up by hurting someone I really care about and abandoning their dreams to leave them to figure it out. She has a big support network of friends but I just don't know how to resolve this all in my mind.
TL;DR: | Broke up because of a gut feeling fearing commitment, now she is totally distraught. I feel massive guilt. How can I cope? What should I ask myself to understand if I did the right thing? |
SUBREDDIT: r/jobs
TITLE: Employer left a message on phone, not sure if I answered right.
POST: So I applied for a sales associate part-time position at a retail store some time ago, and after a while I received a missed call from said manager at the retail store, due to me being at a masterclass. She left on her message that she was interested in having an interview, and that I should do a callback.
However, whenever I tried to call the place, it keeps on having answering machine instead, and after some time being a bit fed up with it, I left a message saying that she could try having an interview with me on tues or sat. I don't know whatever I did was wrong or right, but I suddebly got worried all of a sudden and I tried calling the number again multiple times until I realized that I might have screwed up a bit of my chances to get this interview.
TL;DR: | I got message about potential interview, and I left a message back saying about vague interview time, and not specific one. |
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU by spam swiping right.
POST: This fuckup happened 10 minutes ago and has made me question who I am as a person.
So today I was drunk and stoned and in my mind it was the perfect time to go on tinder.
I was doing what all 18 year old horny males do and spam swiping right. It was going well and i could see I had a few matches so I was pretty happy. I maxed out my daily swipes and went to the messages box to discover what i had done. I had matched with my 22 year old sister. Now i have the awkward task of finding out why she swiped right on me...
TL;DR: | I was very stunk, I thought i was a hunk. I went looking for Some ass. Now i have to give family events a pass. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: [16M] I have no idea how to be romantic/smooth, and my girlfriend doesn't know much.
POST: My girlfriend and I have been dating for 5 months now, and we have both never been in serious relationships before. I know that I am sort-of obliged as the guy to make moves on the girl, but I just never know when. I can't just lean in for a kiss without announcing it in some way. It just doesn't come spontaneously to me like some guys. I am also not super confident and I don't know how to become confident. Also, my girlfriend doesn't really know anything about relationships, like at all. She has told me numerous times that she feels embarrassed because she knows nothing. She would be open to try new things and maybe get our relationship past first base, but because I have no idea how to make moves on her and vice versa we have hit a standstill. I love this girl and I want to know how to display that more romantically.
TL;DR: | I'm not spontaneous and don't know how to make moves, and my girlfriend is the same as me but worse. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [26 M] with my Girlfriend [31 F] 7yrs, Should I ask her father for his blessing before asking her to marry me?
POST: I want to know the opinions on wether or not to ask my girlfriends father for his blessing to marry her. A little detail.
My gf and I have been together for going on 7 years. She is very close with her family, but not particularly her father. She has a close relationship with her brother, sisters, and mother.
Her family likes me, adopting me as one of them fairly early on. I however can never get a good judge on how her father feels about me. He is a very reserved kind of guy, he has never given me a cold shoulder and welcomes me into their home at any time, but we do not exactly have any type of rapport. Our conversations are short and matter a fact, but in a respectfully polite way.
I should mention that against both our families views, we moved in together about 5 years ago. There wasn't any animosity over it, at least non that was conveyed to me. Both our families simply told us they do not think a couple should live together before marriage. My relationship with her family was not changed by us doing this against their beliefs.
So my questions are.
1) Should I have a sit down with her father to as for his blessing?
2) Should I also consider asking her mother seeing how close she is with her?
3) If you asked, how did you do it?
and 4) AHH!! <--- not a question, just my general emotion right now! lol
TL;DR: | Gf close to family, not super close to father. Cant judge her fathers feeling toward me, but it is cordial. Should I ask for his blessing to marry her? |
SUBREDDIT: r/personalfinance
TITLE: [Student] Are private loans for college really a bad idea? Also, I really need advice for my future (please)?
POST: I'm currently a Sophmore in college and by the end of the spring semester I'll be $6,500 dollars in total debt. Tuition is roughly 3-4k a semester, but there's a high chance I'll get a scholarship my junior year (how much, I don't know). Right now I'm living with my parents and they are paying for my food and supplies cost- they are not paying for any of my education otherwise, but its taking a toll on me commuting 2+ hours everyday and dealing with the stress of them controlling my life (haven't seen my friends in a month) and yelling/threatening me constantly- just a really bad situation to be in. I've contemplated moving into an apartment my junior year near campus (~$600/month or $300 if moving in with boyfriend) but I'd also need food and supplies money. I wouldn't have a car either but I probably wouldn't need one. It's unlikely that I'll be able to hold a job and do well in my classes because it's an competitive and time demanding. I've thought about getting private loans but the thought of graduating with overwhelming debt and the horror stories is what is stopping me. When I graduate I'll will be making generally somewhere between 30-50k (not a lot I know). The maximum amount of financial aid (loans) I can get next year from school is $7,500 a year.
TL;DR: | amount of debt in private loans seems overwhelming and terrifying, but I'm suffering from terrible depression and stress while living at home with strict and overbearing parents. What do I do? |
SUBREDDIT: r/dating_advice
TITLE: Quick I need help
POST: Not sure if this belongs here but, today is my graduation at 6, in 3 hours. This might possibly be the last chance I have to make a move on my crush. I'm a pretty shy guy and i get red and nervous the few times that my crush has spoken words to me. We have made eye contact multiple times but I think its pure coincidence. We have also gone to dinner but as a class of 20 people and i sat in front of her and I didn't talk at all. So my question is how and what should I say to her today? I was thinking of just asking her what she was going to do during the summer and then ask her if she would like to hang out sometime, would that be good? And if it is how should i approach her? I guess the reason i get nervous is because of all the people that are always around and well today there is going to be people everywhere and who knows if ill even be able to find her. What should I do?
TL;DR: | Gonna graduate, im a shy guy, might be last chance to ask my crush out, what/how should i do it? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My girlfriend [25F] of 1 year is upset with me [24M] because I make her fell like the bad guy in our relationship.
POST: After a year of dating, my girlfriend feels that she is precieved as the over opinionated bitch in our relationship. I disagreed to every end, however after lengthy conversation, I find that I am the root of this problem. When a situation goes south, I make the assumption that I'm going to get the worst reaction out of her. This is in turn is observed by the people around us who take it as the classic "she wears the pants in this relationship" situation and that she is a tropical storm waiting to go hurricane on everyone. She is the sweetest person I have ever met and she doesn't deserve this treatment.
I know that I have to become more aware of my actions and how they affect her and the people around me. I've been terrible at sympathizing with the situation. I understand now, but too little too late. Sorry isn't going to cut it and I need help. She is hurt and we decided not to talk for a day or two until I can straighten out my thoughts and she can calm down. This seemed like a good time to weigh in with the reddit community.
Have any of you been in a similar situation? How did you reconcile? How selfish have I been to not notice this was happening?
I love this girl with all my heart. I can't lose her to something like this.
TL;DR: | Girlfriend thinks I make our friends and family see her as an over opinionated bitch due to my assumptions of over reactive behavior. How do I apologize and help change this? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [40 F] with my sister [29 F], she has stopped eating and I'm the only one that takes it seriously. (Update)
POST: It appears that I was coming in with both guns blazing and not all of the information.
That man that was a feeder didn't just feed her... he beat her multiple times. I had no idea. She is missing teeth because he hit her so hard. He also did a lot worse, but that's not related.
She's trying to hold out to get implants instead of dentures because "she's too young" for dentures. She said sometimes thinks that if the pain in her mouth stopped, she'd think she was dead.
A lot of her teeth are broken or gone completely. I knew she was missing one in the front, and she was born without canines, but I thought she lost it due to something else.
She drinks the shakes not because they are healthy, but because she doesn't have to chew them. She eats one solid meal a day, but she can only chew on her one side to prevent pain.
My family knew, but because of my temper (which is under control now,) they kept me out of the loop because they thought I might attack him and get myself in trouble.
My sister's eating disorder has not returned. She's taking nutrition classes, working with a nutritionist on what goes in these shakes (I was under the impression they were packet shakes, but she makes them herself.) She'll drink a canned one in a pinch, but she prefers the ones she makes herself.
She said she will eat solid food again full time when she either gets her implants or her dentures.
She's motivated to get healthy so that she's never treated like that again. She's also in therapy to help herself heal.
TL;DR: | My sister was abused and left partially toothless. She didn't want to tell me but my insistence forced her to. Coming to terms with what she suffered through, and determined to encourage her. |
SUBREDDIT: r/Parenting
TITLE: Gotta love the "daycare diseases"
POST: I'm typing this through one eye since the other one is almost swollen shut. We take our 5 year old to Mother's Day Out at a local church for the mornings 5 days a week. He loves it, they love him and really the only downside is how often he is sick. He has an upper respiratory or cold pretty much once a month and his latest little treasure to bring home is pinkeye.
It's bacterial (well, at least it responds well to antibiotics) and they had a rash of them up at his school. They sanitized as much as they could but this particular bacteria is really contagious and no one really realizes how often they touch their face, doubly so for kids. So he brings it home, we treat it with Rx drops and all of a sudden his newborn brother has it. Take him to the doctor, get him drops and then boom, my wife gets it. I'm feeling pretty lucky at this point and making it habit to not touch my face, wash my hands and wash towels and sheets on hot.
Well this morning I wake up and my right eye looks like I got in a bar fight. I'll spare you the details but while it doesn't hurt, it means that the only place I can go today is the doctor. I needed to drop some stuff off at a client's office but it's swollen enough that people are going to be like "dude...what happened" and obviously "oh I have a super contagious bacterial infection in my eye" is probably not the best answer to give.
TL;DR: | Kid brought pinkeye home from school and gave it to the whole family. Not really asking a question, just venting to other people who have had to deal with the same crap. |
SUBREDDIT: r/offmychest
TITLE: 25(m) contemplating becoming single...
POST: Bonjour! I am currently in France for the summer working, and I am feeling a mixed bag of emotions. I am 25, have a successful career, and live alone. I have been in a relationship for the last 4 years with a wonderful girl who I get along with like none other. The only problem is, regardless with how much I love and enjoy her, I know she is not the one for me.
As I meet more people (we are from the states but I travel solo in the summers for work) I see myself changing my views regarding my future that I believed Were set in stone. Example: I always told myself that I would never have kids, never get married, and never wanted to move in with a girl. Now that I am meeting more and more people, I find myself thinking that I would like those things in the future, but not with my current girlfriend. If that makes sense.
I am an attractive male, who is in good physical shape, but I am secretly petrified about dealing with the loneliness that will follow when I return to the states, since I live alone and moved away from my college friends for my job. I'm not sure what to do from here. I still have 1.5 months left working abroad before returning home.
Is 25 to old to be single, and find my other puzzle piece? How does one go about meeting others when busy with work and without many friends who live around me?
TL;DR: | 25 and contemplating becoming single. Traveling has opened my eyes and changed my views on issues that I once believed to be set in stone. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [17 M] with my girlfriend[17 F] of 5 months, I fucked up and I need advice.
POST: I've been dating my girlfriend for 5 months and the relationship has been great despite the typical of ups and downs that are expected to occur in a relationship.
With summer coming up we have both been apart for a month and a half, and I'm visiting my best friend in Copenhagen. With our relationship been relatively short (5 months), my girlfriend is kinda paranoid about me cheating on her here, and this is where i fucked up. I told her that the women here are "hot and sexy" and that its a huge challenge for a guy not to cheat down here. Of course I didn't actually mean it and I was being a dickhead and I acknowledged that, and after that happened we've just been arguing and I snapped, and I decided to tell her that we should go on a 10 day break until I come back home. I meant the break for us to have our own space and to stop fighting over nothing, but then she replied "since you don't wanna deal with me we'll just end things now", which I assume she was breaking up with me.
I think she got the idea of a break as a message that I didn't care about her or didn't want to deal with her but thats not true.
Please give me advice because I'm afraid I'll do something I'll regret. I don't want to lose this girl, she means a whole ton to me and I don't think I can find anyone better for me right now, I went from extremely happy to crushed.
TL;DR: | gf got wrong idea of me wanting a "break" and decided to " break up". I know I was being a dickhead and I apologized countless times already. Help appreciated. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [24 M] with my girlfriend [22 F] cheated on me with older man from church
POST: Ive browsed this section a few times, but never felt the need to post until today. My girlfriend's biological father walked out when she was born, and she has esteem issues. There's an older couple at our church that is highly respectable, very spiritual and people I looked up to. Over the last 4-5 months the man and my girlfriend (worship leader) have been texting and calling each other non stop. I finally glimpsed a text or two.
They were telling each other "I love you", meeting in town to talk, and most recently she admitted today that they had kissed. The texts I've seen also talk about wanting to lay with each other like they did earlier in the day, how passionately he love her and how great of a time they had together. Mind you, this all blew up today. If he knows that others know, it's only because she told him.
When her mother and I confronted her, she lied saying it was all innocent and that he was helping her with her esteem problems. Then she eventually admitted to kissing him when he visited a house she was watching this weekend. She told me things like that had only been going on for maybe 3 weeks.
Like I said, he is (supposedly) a very respectable man in the community and our church, and she is the worship leader. I feel that he took advantage of her esteem issues, but they both obviously knew better.
My question, reddit, is what do you think my next step is? Or, do you any other opinion? If I out him publicly, it ruins her. If I say anything to just him, I'll have no idea if it works or not.
TL;DR: | 64 year old respectable man in the community and church has been calling/texting my girlfriend for 5 months. Most recently, they kissed. Reddit, what's next? |
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU by squirting whilst masturbating onto my floor, slipping in it and scarring my roommate for life. (NSFW)
POST: This happened not half an hour ago, I was getting ready for my job as a a bartender. I always wank before work, since it relaxes me and I can only assume my customers appreciate my shit eating grin. I recently discovered I can make myself squirt and have intense orgasms with my new vibrator. 6 orgasms down, I feel it coming...literally. I scoot to the end of my bed, not wanting to wash my sheets AGAIN, and proceed to shoot lady juices all over my floor. I lay back down, blissful, only to hear a knock at my door. My roommate starts to twist the door handle, I spring to my feet, only to have my post coital jelly legs slip in the mess I made for myself. My head cracks hard on the wooden floorboards, and my roomie having heard the crash, swings the door open, only to see me, clutching my vibrator, robe open, clutching my head in a puddle. She screams sorry and slams the door shut.
Now I'm on my way to work, head pounding and shame burning deep in my stomach. I can't imagine the next time we pass in the hallway there will be much eye contact.
TL;DR: | slipped in a PUDDDLE of squirty lady juice, scarring my roommate for life, who was only offering me food. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Reddit what made you realise you were different the the other childern? I'll Start...
POST: Sixth grade came along and we started the poem section of literature. every one was to find a poem that they were to memorize and write a paper on. Shel Silverstein was very popular at my elementary school, most poems were selected from his works. i would say 2/3rds of the class choose something from his books. the rest were from either Emily Dickinson or Robert Frost... except for me.
I choose Edgar Allen Poe's The Raven. The day came to recite our choosen poems and i became increasingly worried by the fact that every one had choosen these rosie limericks. the few that had chosen Emily or Robert where among the first to go. Me having a last name starting with W went last. i don't remember the peom that the person before me choose, i do remember he was lively and got the class laughing.
while he was performing i went to my teacher and asked if i could do a different poem. she asked "what wrong with yours?" i didn't have a response so she told me i was fine and not to worry. my turn came and i began to recite the peom. looking round the room i could tell from the looks on their faces most were thinking "what the hell is wrong with this kid?"
while i was never mocked for the choice and it was never brought up again i knew i was reading things that others even had no desire to or didn't care to.
Slowly are started seeing it more in everything i did. while people were getting started on Harry Potter i was Starting Lord of The Rings. when most were getting into sports i started reading the complete works of Lovecraft. because i had associated with friends that played video games as well it took me a while to realise i had alienated myself from the rest of the student body almost entirely.
TL;DR: | During sixth grade poem recital while most were doing Shel Silverstein poems, i was doing Edgar Allen Poe's The Raven. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [22F] am sad when I'm not physically with my boyfriend [22M] of 9 months
POST: I have been dating my SO for about nine months. I love him so much, but lately I've been unhappy in our relationship.
It's just that I want to be around him ALL THE TIME. And I know that it's not feasible and not even reasonable, but I can't help it. I get depressed when he leaves. I don't want to eat. I don't want to see my friends, or work on my homework, or participate in the clubs I'm in. I just want him to come back. If we don't have plans together, I wait around hoping he'll call. Then I get sad if he doesn't.
I end up crying in his arms about once a week (always relating to feeling insecure/unwanted), and I know that it's taking its toll on him. I try not to cry sometimes-- I feel that if I hold it in, we can skip the whole charade. (I don't have to admit that I'm sad/how irrational my feelings are, he doesn't have to console me, etc.) But even when I hold it in, he can tell something is wrong.
He finally admitted to me that whole thing is exhausting (whether or not I cry).... Which I already knew. And I know if I can't get it together, I'm going to lose him, and that's the last thing I want.
I've told him that I'm unhappy with our relationship (which is obvious when I cry once a week), but that I want to try to fix it. He was very understanding.
So, Reddit, how do I fix it? I have friends. I have hobbies. I have things to do when I'm not with him. It's just that I don't WANT to. Am I obsessed? Is it unhealthy to stay in a relationship like this? Obviously the last thing I want to do is end the relationship. I want to be with him for forever. Could the hope and uncertainty of a future with him be the cause of these feelings? How do I get myself under control?
TL;DR: | I feel depressed when I'm not with my boyfriend. It's irrational and I'm going to end up losing him. Need advice on how to control my feelings, so that I can enjoy a happy and healthy relationship with him. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [27F] with my GF [27F] of 8 years; how to cope with emotional affair.
POST: I will make this as short as possible. My girlfriend and I have been together 8 years and over this past summer she had an emotional affair with an older woman. It felt incredibly awful. She said very romantic and loving things to and about this woman and it made me feel worthless as a partner. She claimed to have felt passion for her that she hadn't felt for me in years. It was allegedly a mutual thing but only to a certain extent; the other woman does enjoy women sexually but claims that she can never possibly love a woman romantically.
Though it was tumultuous and we did briefly separate after my discovering these feelings, we have since decided to repair our relationship and get couples counseling. My GF now claims that anything she thought she felt for this woman was 'not real,' but I'm not quick to believe that honestly. She wants to be friends with this woman as what they have now is merely platonic; but for some reason I am a bit uncomfortable with the idea of them spending time alone. They text often on a daily basis and that does not bother me at all. I would be more than willing to compromise with her in that we can all hang out together; but something about the two of them spending any time together alone makes me very nervous still (the affair ended in December).
I don't want to be controlling or make her feel that she cannot be friends with whomever she pleases. I want to be perfectly fine with this and put all of my trust in her. I need advice on how to get to this point. How do I suck it up and just let them be friends?
TL;DR: | GF of 8 years had an emotional affair over the summer and wants to remain friends with the woman she cheated with. I am not sure how to deal with this properly. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Dog lover or dog torturer? What do you think? Details inside
POST: I wanted to see what people thought about this story about my mother-in-law. My wife and I have differing opinions about the matter, so I thought I would turn to Reddit to see what the consensus is.
Let me start by saying that my mother-in-law (MIL) is an extremely nice person. So nice that it is almost irrational sometimes.
So anyways, MIL is driving home from work one night (in the middle of nowhere) and she sees a small truck in front of her clip a dog. Truck keeps going, but MIL stops to check out the scene. The dog is a beagle and is very close to death. Although I love dogs, at this point I would have put the dog out of its misery, end the suffering, and that would be that. MIL decides to take the dog to the emergency vet. The long story short is she spends several thousands of dollars on surgeries for the dog, it ends up losing a leg and suffering from many other complications. After months of painful recovery, the dog (a male beagle that she named 'baby') now lives in a crate in their garage. It remains there for a good 12 hours per day while MIL is at work and also sleeps in there at night. The only time it gets out is to go to the bathroom.
Personally, I think that putting the dog through that much pain just so it could live in a crate was quite irrational. My wife just writes it off as, oh my parents love him, but they are just so busy with work.
So what would you have done? I will post a pic of the dog this evening if I can.
TL;DR: | Mother-In-Law witnesses dog getting hit by car, puts him through painful surgeries just so he can live in a box for 20+ hours per day. |
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU by making a Special Ed Aide cry. Cancer
POST: I'm a substitute teacher. Today I was administering a test to a class. I needed the room to be silent, but the Special Ed aide in the room kept speaking somewhat loudly and out of turn. She was doing this because she was trying to help some of the kids. However, if you ask me, she was being unnecessarily loud and obnoxious. She was also helping a kid during a test. When I went up to her and the special needs student to try to quiet her down, I made the mistake of saying "Does (The Full Time Teacher) know that you help these students during a test?". (I was trying to keep her from continually speaking when I asked the room to be quiet.) She replied tersely with "This child has autism and just had chemo". So basically what I got from her was that she was just going to do whatever she wanted because this kid has cancer and autism and therefore I am out of line for even speaking to her. Another adult entered the room and started hovering. At this point I felt like they were taking over the class, so I made the mistake of asking the new adult figure in the room who she was, and what exactly the function of the other adult was supposed to be. That confrontation sent the Aide out of the room crying and refusing to speak to anyone. Then, the other adult told me that she was the Sp. Ed Administrator. At that moment, one of the kids decides to flip out and go berserk. If I hadn't been dealing with two unknown adult figures in the room, I don't think that that would have happened. The administrator walked out of the room and took that kid with her, left the door open, and called the office. Since the class was being good, I wanted to handle the situation with the kid on my own, but my toes were being stepped on by the administrator. I got outside, talked the kid back into reason, and finished the class. The rest of the day went great.
Until after all the kids left and I went to the office, where the secretary harshly defended the emotionally hurt and personally offended Aide.
TL;DR: | If you're an adult and not my student, tell me who you are and why you are in my class so I don't confront you. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My [17F] recent boyfriend's [20M] parents don't approve of our relationship.
POST: I met my current boyfriend about 3+ years ago at the beginning of my freshman year of high school (his senior year), when he was my tour guide for freshman orientation. Throughout the year we became good friends (absolutely no romance, whatsoever), however at the end of the year, he left for art school, and we lost touch. About a month ago, I ran into him at a local beach by my house, and we completely reconnected. He asked for my number and after a bit of "catch up" texting we hung out, and things kind of took off from there. We spent a considerable amount of time non-romantically hanging out, but it naturally developed into something more that has been overwhelming wonderful and wholly positive.
There is - obviously - a three year age difference between us, which has become somewhat of an issue for his parents. I grew up in quite a bad home, so I matured very fast. For the past year I have been financially supporting not only myself, but my father as well. I am a full time student with all A's and B's, and work an average of 6 days a week. I buy all my own clothes, school supplies, etc, and not only paid for my entire phone but also pay its monthly bill. From a very young age I've handled a lot of responsibility, so I grew up very fast and have become very mature at a very young age. My SO is similar; very mature, works hard - all that good stuff. His parents don't know me very well, and worry that I'm too mentally immature for him. It's only recently emerged as somewhat of a problem (he is home from college and staying with his parents), and I'm unsure of how to handle it all.
It is 100% legal for us to be intimate (we live in Maryland - age of consent is 16 here), and my parents absolutely and irrevocably approve of our relationship - they actually prefer that I date people older than me due to the general immaturity of high school boys.
How should I go about handling this situation? Should I talk with his parents or just lay-low? Any advice is greatly appreciated. Thanks guys!
_________________________________________________________
TL;DR: | My boyfriend's parents don't approve of our relationship because they think I'm too young and immature, even though I am quite the opposite. How should I handle this situation? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My (23F) best friend (21F) admitted to me that she's been cheating on and off on her boyfriend and has put me in an awkward position.
POST: So, my best friend has some issues battling depression and anxiety. I've always done my best to be there for her but sometimes she gets irrational before I can talk to her.
She recently confessed to me that she's been cheating on her boyfriend of a year and a half through the Internet by various means, and that she feels awful about it but it's put me in an awkward spot where I feel like I know to much; he's my friend as well, and I feel like I should tell him but keep my mouth shut as well. I have no clue what to do.
TL;DR: | my best friend admitted to me she's cheated on her boyfriend who is also one of my best friends. Should I just stay out of it?? |
SUBREDDIT: r/GetMotivated
TITLE: [Story] The start of a long but happy journey...
POST: Started at 290lbs. Now down to 269lbs. It's not the target but it's a start and honestly I haven't put in much effort.
The biggest issue I had when, starting to diet or starting to lose weight, is the idea that it's a 24/7 job, and "I don't have the effort for that".
It hasn't been that bad, a few frustrating moments at the dinner table, wanting another plate, but my family and friends have been amazing. They will stop me and even have to argue with me about it, but give it 20 minutes and I'm feeling full and happy I didn't have another helping of dinner.
I'm a gamer and a big guy anyway, I'm never going to be below 200lbs and that's fine by me. I don't want to be that small anyway. Haha. But the only way I've lost weight is exercising while gaming I bought an exercise bike and have been cycling 5km to 15km a day while playing games. You don't even notice it after a while, it's great.
People around me are noticing the changes in me. "You look thinner" "I didn't recognise you" "you look much better!", and that feels good.
My clothes are starting to be too big and it feels great and strange that I now need to buy new clothes. This is the main reason for this post.
Sorry for the format, I was never any good at essays at school.
But the motivation part is here...
Listen Big Guy, exercise isn't too hard and find a way to do it while you are relaxing and it will not effect you. The feeling you get when that top is too big and people are complimenting you and noticing you. It's well worth it. I was forever saying, that's you, I can't do that, I haven't got the drive or commitment. But decide today to make a change. You won't regret it.
If you have ANY questions, please feel free to ask. Thanks!
TL;DR: | Lost 20LBs. Feel amazing. Little effort. Clothes are starting to be too big. Everton can do it. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My girlfriend wants to be a mermaid.
POST: This is NOT a joke. My girlfriend (F19) has been with me (M21) for 8 months now and when I asked her what she wants to do when we've graduated from college she says she wants to be a mermaid and that mermaids exist and that she will one day turn into a mermaid.
I didn't think much of it and thought she was playing. But then over the months she's continually brought it up and it seems she is very serious about this so-called "ambition" of hers. I don't know what to do, because everything else about her is normal and I love her apart from this really weird thing.
TL;DR: | How do I convince her that it is never going to happen or shall I just let her continue with her delusion and just suck it up and ignore her one fault?. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I(32m)'ve had a pretty big row with two of my best friends (25M & 22M). One's gone and the other, I don't know.
POST: About a month ago I had a big row with my two best friends and one of them, I'll call him S(22M) decided to break all contact with me. Too bad but there's nothing I can do about that.
R(25M) and I had a talk about things a week after the row and it came down to me doing a few rather nasty things over time which had piled up in to a big heap of frustration for him which eventually caused him to explode in my face.
If you want/ask for it I can go in to details, in general however I believe that I did do some shitty things and that's in part a result of a kind of anxeity/uncertainty disorder that I'm suffering from. I thought I had it under control but well turns out I really didn't.
Seeing what I'd done to R and his girlfriend I can understand his anger, and partially because of that, and because I don't want to continue with this anxeity. Mainly the latter I've gone in to therapy. I've had an intake two weeks ago and next tuesday I'll have a followup to plan the therapy sessions I'm going to follow.
My contact with R has been next to nothing since our initial talk about what was botherhing him so much. I've gotten a text message or two from him wishing me luck with the intake and such. But otherwise nothing else.
I understand that he needs space after this, but now nearly 5 weeks have passed since we've had any real contact. He's been my best friend for over 10 years and I miss him a lot.
I want to contact him and just go and do something together, get these fences mended and work on rebuilding our friendship. But at the same time I'm afraid of moving in too soon and pushing him away.
What's the best course of action here?
TL;DR: | Almost no contact for 5 weeks after a row with best friend. Should I contact him or give him more time to cool down? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: [24M] My personal progress, although I'm not really sure where I'm at
POST: It's been over eight months ago since me and my ex-girlfriend broke up. For me, it was a very heavy break-up since I was struggling with deep depression back then and she moved on within a month. When I met her she was having a lot of personal issues back then and through a lot of help and myself she managed to get back on track. But you know how the old story goes; whatever is bad needs to go so I needed to go because I was mentally drained. She basicially threw me away after a two year relationship.
The depression has been less overwhelming these days and since a few months I've been doing things like picking up old hobby's, trying to find new things to do, etc. All in all, things are going alright. I'm keeping myself busy with all kinds of things. It keeps me sane and from dropping into a deeper hole.
Because of the harsh nature of the break-up I've been very reluctant to socialize with people in general, let alone girls. I now have a hard time trusting anyone, especially on a more intimate level. Maybe I'm trying to move on too fast, but I don't know. Eight+ months is a long time. I just don't care anymore about socializing. Sometimes I go out to visit from friends but that's rare.
I just don't know what to think anymore. Is the depression the factor that's keeping me from moving on? I really need some advice here.
TL;DR: | Still feeling like shit after a break-up that was eight months ago. Need some advice/tips on how to break this pattern. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: How can I [25 M] help my mom [40 F] going through a terrible divorce?
POST: My mom is going through a terrible divorce.We found out a several months ago that our dad had a second family for the last ten years.
Whats worse is while he was having affairs and raising his new kids,he didnt even pay for basic things like food and rent, saying his business was not doing well.He was gone for the last five years(told us that he was working in another city).
The problem:
I know its normal behavior for someone suffering from a breakup/Divorce but its been almost an year.My mom is depressed all the time.She feels sad about herself as she didnt even have real parents.I do anything I can to try and make her happy.But its no use.Please tell me how can I help her?
TL;DR: | My mom is suffering from a bad divorce.Its been an year but she is still depressed.Tell me how can I help her? |
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU by diving for corndogs
POST: This happened several years ago, when I was just a wee thing. It was about 7 or 8 at night, and I had decided to make some corndogs in the microwave.
Context: I was 8 years old, and rather underweight at the time. The microwave was on a shelf above the counter, so in my infinite wisdom, I decided to climb onto the counter to get to my fried treasures.
Well, turns out physics had problems with my wisdom. When I opened the microwave to put said corndogs in, the door swung outward and knocked me off balance. I twisted in midair, and fell on top of my right arm. Other than some pretty bad aching, it felt fine; after the usual bitching and moaning of a little kid getting injured, I ate my corndogs and went to sleep.
Fast forward to the morning, and the ache in my arm is getting worse. My mother took me to the hospital, where we got x-rays taken, and we returned home. I was in the middle of kicking my brother's ass at Syphon Filter (old
TL;DR: | Climbed onto a counter to nuke corndogs in the microwave, fell off, broke my arm without realising it. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [20M] with my GF [18F] of 9 months, found out about a minor lie I told 6+ months ago
POST: I'll start with the lie: Six or so months ago my GF and I had sex, she was a virgin and I was not. It was mutually good for both of us, nothing bad happened or anything. Later the next day I'm telling one of our mutual friends about it (we'll call him Bill.) Bill is a good friend of mine and is dating my GF's good friend (we'll call her Jess.) So I'm telling Bill about it, nothing too detailed, just that it happened and such. The following day, so two days after we have sex, my GF tells me not to tell Bill and then asks me if I told him, so I say no. Cause I told him not to tell Jess about it, and she told me after I already told him so I didn't see much harm in this lie.
Fast forward to today, my GF and Jess are out of state together for spring break. She texts me this morning (should be noted that she doesnt have great service so we don't text often and calling isn't an option) telling me that I wasn't being honest with her about something that I told Bill about, and that she wanted me to think of what it might be. After an hour or so of me not being able to think of it, she tells me about that lie that happened 6 or so months ago. We start arguing about it which lasts maybe 2-3 hours over text. She's never been mad or upset with me before up until this point and was aggressive in her questions, and I was very passive while arguing with her, not pointing out lies she's told me or that this is my first major hiccup in the nine months we've been dating.
She ended our conversation with "You've completely broken my trust and I don't want to talk for the rest of the day because I'm having a great day with my friends and I don't want this to ruin it." Which is pretty uncharacteristic cause she often texts me whenever she can. Is she overreacting or did I fuck up?
TL;DR: | GF caught a lie I told her half a year ago, and is now busting my ass for it while 8 hours away through text. Is she overreacting? |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Terrible cubicle mates
POST: I need your help. I work in a typical office cubicle environment. I had established a close relationship with five other women in our office. We would have lunch together, have drinks after work, call each other on the weekends, etc. Recently, I noticed one of the girls stopped talking to me. The other women continued to treat me normally. Then, there was an invitation sent for a gathering after work and I was not on the invitation. When I asked one of my other friends the problem, she wouldn't tell me and wanted me to approach the other girl. Fast forward a month and the behavior is still happening. The girl who did not invite me to the gathering continues to be disrespectful. I am no longer invited to lunch or any other outside functions. The women don't even try to hide it. Apparently I have done something wrong, but I don't know what it could possibly be. I thought about apologizing, but at this point, she is being so disrespectful and nasty, I feel like she is more wrong than I ever was. Reddit, what would you do?
TL;DR: | Coworker has stopped including me on things and is being a terrible human; thought about apologizing but I think she's treating me worse than anything I have done to her. WWRD? (What would Reddit do?) |
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU by trying to adjust the volume on an ASL Instructional DVD.
POST: So I sit down with my workbook and DVD. I pop the DVD into the player and the copyright warning comes up. So far, so good.
Then the DVD menu appears, and the home menu is all of the featured signers introducing themselves using ASL.
So I, like many of us, am accustomed to bullshit generic synthy guitary boring intro music, so I turn up the volume...nothing. I toggle mute-unmute...nothing. I make sure the speakers are plugged in...nope. I check the DVD submenu...and notice there are no volume/audio options.
Then it hits me.
It's an ASL instructional video. Why the hell would there be ANY sound? "HOLY SHIT I'M PART OF THE PROBLEM."
Now, some context: I work with disabled people every day. I work with an agency that contracts with the State of Oregon to help individuals with disabilities get back to work. I consider myself pretty culturally aware, but for one moment, I really had a "I DO have privilege I don't recognize" moment.
Anyway... I gave myself the finger, signed "sorry," and got to work.
TL;DR: | started a learning DVD for ASL, got confused when there was no sound, had humbling moment of clarity. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My[23M] girlfriend's[25F] Uncle[50sM] gave us a couch he wasn't using and found out that we couldn't get it into our apartment and now he wants it back.
POST: So basically my girlfriends uncle, lets call him Bob had texted my girlfriend that he had an old couch we might want for our new apartment. We drove to his house (about a 5 to 10 minute drive) to check it out. While there he offered us a matching chair and ottoman, as well as other odds and ends such as a space heater and a coffee table. All this stuff was in his garage not being used.
The couch was a little beat up but ultimately because it was free we decided to take it as well as the chair and ottoman. Luckily my gf has brother who drives a large truck so we were able to arrange for him to help us drive the couch back to our new place.
When we go back to the apartment with the couch it took us a good hour to get the couch to the door and attempt to get it in. We had to take it up a staircase to get it to our door. After trying to get it through the door with finally took the hinges off to attempt for more space and ultimately failed. The couch spent the night on its side on our covered balcony.
Someone (i'm honestly not sure who) told Bob that we couldn't get it in our apartment and it spent the night outside. He was furious. He was super mad that we ruined the couch and wants it put back in his garage. Am I wrong in thinking that he has no say in the fate of this couch and I just want to call goodwill or salvation army or just someone to take this couch.
Returning the couch requires cooperation of the gf's brother becuase he has the truck. It also requires at least 3 people to help get it down the stairs and into the truck. It's a huge pain in the ass and I just want to say, "hey man, fuck your couch".
What can I do about mediating his desire to have the couch that he gave us back with the reality that my back and arms are dead from carrying it yesterday and I really have no strong desire to return the damn couch. Who is being unreasonable?
TL;DR: | gf's uncle gave us an old couch for our new apartment. wants it back when he found out that we can't get it inside. is mad that we may have ruined the couch he gave us. heavy couch is heavy. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [18M] with my girlfriend of 2 years [17F] smoked pot without telling me about it
POST: So I have been dating a girl for over two years, and we get along pretty well. No big fights, nothing to rocky, only one rough patch last summer. We both drink, but neither of us have ever done drugs. I don't think she cares, and I certainly don't care, but this weekend she did something that made me kind of uncomfortable. She and a couple of male friends from work all went camping together. I was invited, but had work so I didn't come with. We talked about it and she asked if I was okay with her going alone and I said it was fine. We both trust each other completely, this kind of thing has always been easy for us. She left this morning, and a couple hours in she sent an offhand text saying she wanted to take a nap because she was a little high. In the past we have ALWAYS let each other know when we will be drinking, etc. So the fact that she would a) do something without letting me know and b) make the jump to drugs without letting me know is a little weird for us. The lack of communication just doesn't seem like her. It also kind of changes how comfortable I am with the whole trip, just because now I feel like I don't really know what's happening. I'm definitely going to share my feelings next time we see each other face to face, but I was wondering what thoughts you all might have.
TL;DR: | Girlfriend went on camping trip with group of guy friends, didn't tell me there would be drugs and smoked for the first time, then let me know in a really offhand way |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [26F] need some help.. Is it OK for me to subtly make the first move on [20sM]?
POST: *
TL;DR: | One of my trainers is attractive and funny want to leave my phone number on Friday, but idk if he has a gf/wife and or if it's tacky. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I (24M) need help with following up on a date!
POST: Hey everyone,
I'm a 24 year old guy and last night I went on date with a girl (23f) I met on Tinder. I'm usually very awful with speaking to girls and initiating this kind of thing so I took it as a major breakthrough for myself having gotten out of a long term relationship a few months back. My only problem is I'm not sure what to do now.
The date went really well, we had been speaking for a few days beforehand and it seemed like a good match. We went for a meal then back to my place where we spoke with each other for hours about ourselves and our interests. There is a bit of a language barrier as she is from another country but I think we worked through that pretty well. We made out and got really into it but didn't go further than that. I've suffered from major depression for a long time and I can be really hard on myself with things. We live about 2 hours from each other and we were organised to meet today but she had things to do at home so that didn't work out. When I suggested maybe reorganising in future she simply said 'we'll see', but we were still hooking and laughing.
I felt it was good and I hope we get another date as she is gorgeous and we have the same interests. I simply want to know.. What can I do to not mess this up and maybe build it into something more. I know distance is an issue (not so much for me, I've commuted the distance before for a long time) and I'd like to see her more but I don't want to make her feel like I'm desperate or whatever. How should I approach asking for a date again? Is there an amount of time I should wait? I don't want it to get to a point where she things I'm uninterested.
Thank you to anyone who responds and I'll reply to any questions you have.
TL;DR: | I went on (what I think was) a successful date, don't know how to proceed without messing things up looking for a second date. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Am I (20F) insecure or is he (21M) a bad boyfriend?
POST: My boyfriend and I have been dating a little over a year and have started to come to quite a few bumps in the road. Time and time again I start to feel like he doesn't make time for me and/or I feel like I'm not important to him. We've talked about it plenty, and he has definitely listened and tried to change some little things that make me feel unimportant.
However, I'm starting to think maybe I'm the insecure one and haven't really forgiven him? He does tell me he loves him, and that I am valuable to me. He pays for most meals, and opens every door. I mean its obvious he cares because he's still around. But why don't I truly believe it?
For example, just the other day he didn't text me all day because he kind of just forgot and we sent a few snapchats that he felt kinda sufficed. The next day he didn't text me until 8, where he said he was busy with friends. Then he didn't text me until 12. I was so upset! Upon typing this, I'm sure I sound like I'm overreacting but I just felt like I deserved more attention and notification that he was gunna be out with friends for a while. Deep down, I just felt uncared for because he didn't so those things. He did say sorry and recognized he was wrong and asked how to be better. Most instances its from not hearing from him late, not knowing when I'll get to see him, him not asking to see me, only getting to see him once a week, that makes me upset and start to feel like he doesn't care.
All in all, my question is.. Is it me? Or do I actually deserve better?
TL;DR: | My boyfriend is a gentleman, but doesn't do little things that make me feel like he doesn't care about me. Is he wrong or am I insecure? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [16M] need help overthinking!
POST: So me and this girl are completely in love with eachother. We understand we are very young, but we both know deep down how much we love eachother and we've both said how me can genuinely see us being together until the day we die and going through our lives together. I know some of you may find it funny but we are very mature and have been through a lot together, a few months back, she had to have an abortion and it genuinely killed us both inside, but we came out of it stronger. Anyway, lately I've been thinking, what if she leaves me one day? And it genuinely hurts my mood and makes me feel upset. I told her once how I felt because I'd felt that I was going to 'bore' her sooner or later and she said to never think that because I make her so happy it could never ever happen. I genuinely know that she loves me. But how do I unthink my way out of the bad mood. I'm seeing problems where they don't exist! It's horrible and I don't want to be around her like this. Can anyone just suggest some help? I know I'm not the only one, she's done it before, she was scared at some point I would want my ex, but I never would and haven't contacted her since our breakup. Any tips? Thanks everyone!
TL;DR: | in love with a girl and I've been overthinking and just bringing myself down and seeing problems where they don't exist |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: As a waitress, turned a phone number into a lot of money, am I wrong and is what I did illegal?
POST: Hey reddit, throwaway here.
So, here's my story. I think what I did was completely legal, just figured a second opinion wouldn't hurt.
I am a 19 y/o girl working at a local thai restaurant. It's very small, so they only have one non-chef employee (meaning that I act as hostess/waitress/cashier/busgirl).
I was working and I had this really creepy old male customer. He kept trying to tell me how rich he was and how I meet him after I was done with my shift.
Fast forward to him paying the bill. He pays by credit card and in the tip slot, writes his phone number.
Here is how he wrote it (since there is only one area code around us)
2471596
At the bottom, he wrote: "Here is your tip" and then a winky face.
Therefore, being the vindictive bitch I am, I charged a tip of $24,715.96 to his credit card, and since it was an Amex Platinum, it actually went through.
I then called the owner of the restaurant, told him what happened, showed him the receipt, and he agreed that I was right to do that (since he signed the receipt). We decided to give the chef $2000, the owner $5000, and me the remaining :) :) :)
Not a bad day on the job, if I do say so myself.
However, if he tries to invalidate the credit card charge, will he win? If so, I don't want to spend the money until he sees the charge at the end of the month (maybe hes too rich to notice?). Owner said he'd fight it, but idk.
What do you think reddit?
TL;DR: | charged a customer $24,715.96 as a tip when he tried to pick me up by writing his phone number, it went through |
SUBREDDIT: r/loseit
TITLE: Woman shopping rage. Is 12 a plus size now? According to H&M, it is.
POST: As a man, I continue to be amazed at my wife's adventures in retail. It seems every store she goes into has a different size spectrum, and navigating through this during her past 12+ month weight loss journey has been challenging to say the least.
My wife wrote about her personal experience recently, [regarding how she was treated at H&M](
I consider myself lucky, in that my waist line is measured in inches, so from store to store, I can usually just buy what I want off the rack without even trying it on. Women, not so much. You see, she's a regular size now, which is awesome, but every now and then she'll find herself in some bizzaro world mall outlet where all of the clothes seem to stop at size 10.
In the past year or so, my wife has lost over 80 pounds. I am so proud of her, but it kills me to hear stories like this. What would you say to these sales clerks? What about your own experience losing weight and needing a new wardrobe? It's a delicious dilemma, but with landmines like these to surprise you, it is still challenging.
My wife lost the weight by fully eliminating flour and sugar from her diet, and added potatoes to the exclusion list a few weeks ago. An article/diary of her weight loss journey can be found here - [Part 1] and [Part 2](
TL;DR: | My wife's weight loss journey: [Part 1] and [Part 2] and her bullshit shopping experience at [H&M]( |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My ex [23/F] wants to keep having sex after we've broken up. I [24/M] have doubts about it being a good idea.
POST: We've had a rocky relationship. Things went from the best I've been part of to the worst and then back and forth between them like crazy. She's an incredible person, but she has some very serious baggage from a traumatic youth that makes being in a monogamous relationship impossible for her.
So, we broke up. I hated how low it made me feel to watch her chase other men, even when I believed that she only had actual feelings for me. Problem is now, she and I still act the same as we did when we were together. We'll still hang out alone, order the food we used to, and recently for the first time in months we slept together again. I thought I'd feel like trash, but honestly the sex was great and I don't regret it.
But, I'm doubtful that I'm thinking rationally. She's gorgeous, hotter than I ever expected to be able to get. And when I can feel how into me she is, damn it just drives me crazy. But that's why I'm here. I'm looking for some dudes to either slap some sense into me or let me know if it isn't messed up to treat sex as casually as she does. Any insight at all would be greatly appreciated!
TL;DR: | Sex is good with ex, but maybe bad? I'm either caught up in my libido or just have gotten over some of my sexual hangups and dunno which. Pls help |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [28/F] with my[27 M] 3 year relationship broke up over text.
POST: Obvious throwaway.
So my boyfriend of 3 years just broke up with me over text because he was fed up with me. Three years. Over text. He is 27. I moved from Texas to California to make this relationship work and it just blew up in my face.
There was a slew of things wrong in the relationship and he was just becoming incredibly selfish and emotionally abusive. When he didn't like what I was doing, he would just cut off all contact with me and send me insulting texts, or ignore me altogether. For days. These included telling me that I was obese (I am 5'4'' and 153 lbs) and cussing at me frequently. He also would not listen to any of my feelings or concerns because he thought that it was me complaining. He pretty much dismissed everything that I said.
Recently, it was my birthday and he repeatedly told me to "fuck off", "forget you" and "fuck my birthday." He would also then tell me I was uptight and naggy, and that he was better off without me, and that he didn't need me in his life. After he told me he was, "leaving my ass" via text, he is continuously sending me insulting texts telling me to "fuck off"
He has made me feel like I was worthless. I am trying to have a good head on my shoulders, but it is hard. Someone being that ruthless and mean to me, after I had spent 3 years with them, is tough to take. I don't know why he is doing this, but it is not healthy.
I know that I am going to be lonely. I know that he wasn't treating me well, and that I deserve better. I moved to a city with a little support network and am wondering what kind of things I can do to help myself heal from this dysfunctional and abusive relationship?
TL;DR: | Boyfriend broke up with me over text, is sending me insults and lashing out now. I feel like I will get over this, but holy hell it sucks. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: it may seem stupid and untrue, but [16/m] so far in love with friend [16/f], help?
POST: So, since i met this girl 2 years ago, she's just been the best friend ever and i've really liked her. soon after i sorta fallen in love with her...and two years down the line i only love her even more. we talk all the time on facebook, even though not in real life as much (cos i have difficulties with face to face conversations with people, especially girls).
she knows me better than anyone else, and she sorta tells me her stuff and problems, even though not as much. but i digress. she knows i love her, and i've told her on several occasions.....and the fact that she remains basically the closest i have to a best friend, as if nothing has happened, is just....unlike any other....
sometimes though, i do piss her off, when i get paranoid about stuff, and she thinks it's silly, or i do something stupid when i'm drunk....but yeah.....
i don't....i don't really know what to do...she doesn't want a relationship, but even so..i just....she's just perfect, and i really just...wanna make her happy, be the shoulder to vry on and be the one to cheer her up, cuddle her to sleep, be the one to wake up next to her....and to know what a hug from the perfect girl ever feels like, and...i just wanna experience everything with her, i don't wanna get over her. i'm deffo not sure, but one of my friends from reddit said that eventually she'll realise something....but...i don't know....as i said i don't wanna get over her at all, i want to be with her...i just don't know what to do....
TL;DR: | i love my friends to bits and shits, but she don't love me back. don't wanna get over her, but i also don't know whatta do... |
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU by using a bidet for the first time.
POST: Happened just two days ago. Finally mustered the courage to tell others.
I had never used a bidet before in my life. Whether it be the lack of availability, no curiosity, satisfaction in other wiping methods, etc. All irrelevant, I had never used one.
I recently moved into a new house, where the landlord had installed bidets in each bathroom. Even though they were now more available than ever, I refused to try them. In my eyes, they were still a bit too weird for me.
Well, after hearing Duncan Trussell's monologue about bidets, and after a particularly messy restroom use, I decided to go for it. I thought, "Fuck it. Obviously it's used for a reason. People must like it. Ron White said he enjoyed it. I should be progressive for once in my life and try it."
So I fire the bad-boy up, and test the water. All good to go, a nice cool stream. I check the wind and the altimeter of the porcelain airfield, and clear my ass to land.
Little did I know the bidet needed some time to warm up the water to it's selected heat. I thought it was instant action, and good to go. So I have the faucet at about 3/4s of the way on the heat scale.
It was doomed from the beginning.
Like a river through a canyon, the stream of water shot straight through my crack, scorching everything at about 6,000 Kelvin. For the two seconds I was down there, it had burned the land like a wildfire in California.
I immediately jumped up, ran down to the kitchen, and began to look for ice.
The landlord thought he was fancy for installing bidets. So it must have been too fucking fancy to install an ice maker. Because I had to resort to using summer freezer pops in a Ziploc bag as my form of coolant.
I spent the rest of the night belly down on the bed. Happy Time was not conducted.
TL;DR: | Used a bidet for the first time, burned my ass crack, Otter Pops took one for the team. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [22 M] am in love with a [24 F] who has a boyfriend. Should I just move on?
POST: Long story short, a new girl came to my church and I immediately fell in love. We met about a month ago and ever since then we've met over 15+ times. We've been to dinners, movies, hiking trips, and everything a date would comprise of. The problem is, she has a boyfriend and the only way I found out was through a mutual friend. She never once mentioned him until I brought him up which she was hesitant about talking about. We always flirted and teased each other while she called me handsome and perfect.
Just a few days ago she went back to Europe where she is from while she is waiting to hear back from all the schools she applied to here in the states and said she would be back in August. Since she left, we've talked every single day and she always mentioned how we had so much to do when she comes back and that she misses me so much.
She said that upon coming back to the states she is confused about the future of her relationship with her boyfriend who will still be back in Europe and isn't sure what to do.
My question is... Should I wait for her or move on and stop wasting my time? Any advice?
TL;DR: | i really like a girl that has a boyfriend who isnt sure about her future with said bf when she comes back to the states |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I am 20 F - is dating an exchange student (20M) worth it? Is there any hope of it working out in the long run?
POST: I'm 20F. I met a guy at an exchange student event and we just clicked. I asked him to accompany me for lunch and I showed him around my city and we enjoyed our time together.
Both of us admited that we love each other. However, we are aware of the fact that we are not from the same country and he will only be here for a year. We know that long distance relationships are hard. There is no guarantee that one of us can find a job in the other's country in the future.
Is losing my virginity to an exchange student who will only be in my area for a year worth it? I don't want guys to judge me for casual sex. Is there any hope of the relationship working out in the long run? How can I tell whether the guy is looking for something serious or is just looking for a fling?
TL;DR: | Fell in love with guy who is an exchange student. Is there any hope of it working out in the long run? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me 22/M found a picture of my girlfriend 21/F on Reddit gone Wild
POST: So yeah guys. Not quite sure what to do now. Half of me wants to end it and the other half feels guilty because of what I did a few months back. I did cheat on her once when our relationship was unstable ( she was looking for dates on tinder and had a few setup) which fueled me. ( I know cheating is wrong and I regret it) we had a 4 month break after that. But just a few days ago she posted on Reddit gone wild.. She lied about it. She told me she posted a nude online but then said she was just kidding. But I looked at the forum and recognized her body right away and took a screen shot. I questioned her and made her promise to me that she didn't do it. She lied right to my face. That's when I sent her the screen shot. And her excuse was that her mom was right next to her and couldn't talk... She also said she felt insecure about her boobs and wanted to see what strangers thought. I'm not sure how to take this. This is kind of a deal breaker for me. But just want to hear other guys/ girls input on this situation.
TL;DR: | girlfriend lied to me about posting a topless photo on Reddit gone wild. I took a screenshot of it and sent it to her. Caught her in a lie. She said she was insecure about her boobs and wanted honest opinions. |
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU by pretending to not be disabled
POST: So a little background before I retell today's FU. Last week I was staying over at a friend's and during the middle of the night I kicked the metal bed frame in my sleep, hurting my foot quite badly above the ankle and making it fairly painful to walk normally even a week later.
Fast forward to today when I'm in college, ~~walking~~ limping along the corridor as per usual when I see a disabled person coming the opposite way who also has a pronounced limp. For some reason my first thought decided that the person may see me limping towards them and misinterpret it as mocking their disability so I quickly decided to act casual, walk completely normally and ignore the sharp pain in my foot.
So there I am appearing to walk completely normally for a 22 year old when I come to the set of three stairs that lowers the corridor and immediately put my injured foot down the first step. Evidently this action was too much for my foot as the pain suddenly quadruples and causes my ankle to buckle, I lose balance and pretty much flop down the remaining two stairs, landing fairly awkwardly a few feet in front of the disabled oncomer. He came to my aid, asking if I was okay but with a fairly amused smile to which I sheepishly replied that I was fine, thanked him and limped onwards, surmising that I had an excuse to limp without having to worry about potentially insulting him.
TL;DR: | Pretended to not have ankle pain and fell ass over teakettle in front of the disabled person I was trying not to potentially insult |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Am I greedy to not donate my long hair?
POST: I have long hair, it's just over 2 feet long and it's really thick and I haven't dyed it. I love my hair, I think it's gorgeous and I think I would feel naked without it.
However, any time people talk about my hair they ask "why don't you donate it to Locks of Love?" First off I feel like it's pretty rude, and it always makes me feel bad about myself when people tell me I should be cutting off my hair and donating it. I grew out my hair because I like it long, but now I feel like people are always judging me for not chopping it off and giving it away.
Also, I've heard some negative things about LoL, like that they don't give out many wigs and that they sell leftover hair for profit. I'm not sure if that's true, but I'm not sure if I care because if I did chop off my hair I would prefer to sell it myself and make some extra cash, if I'm being honest.
I do give money to the local humaine society, DWB and the Red Cross. I tend to be a bit wary about cancer organizations though, because so many of them seem to be just businesses that work harder on their brand than they do on supporting cancer research. I haven't spent a lot of time looking into it though, I'm sure there are some legit ones but I prefer to stick with the charities I trust.
But anyways, am I being greedy by wanting to keep my hair to myself or thinking of selling it if I ever do decide to cut it? And how can I respond to let people know that I'm hurt by them pressing me to cut off my hair without making them feel bad?
TL;DR: | Why do people nag me to chop off my hair and donate it to make wigs? I don't pester them to donate their money or blood or canned food. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Dear reddit: Windows Vista is going to make me kill myself.
POST: Ok, perhaps a little over dramatic, but I've been plagued by a mystery problem for a few weeks now, and it's starting to drive me crazy.
I run Windows Vista Home Premium (I know, I know, it's only temporary) on a Lenovo G530 with a 221 GB hard drive. Now Windows Explorer is telling me that I've used 180 GB of this space, and I know it is lying to me. I've only used 77 GB of the space.
Now let's clear a few things up right away. **Here is what I've done:**
* I've run a virus scan and a spyware scan. My computer is clean - even though I'm a Windows user, I take good care of my machine.
* I ran TreeSize, which totally has my back and told me I'm using 77 GB, all of which I can account for.
* Even so, I ran CCleaner just in case, but it didn't turn up anything new.
* I know Windows Vista runs a backup shadow copy. I used the command prompt to find out how much space it was allocating. It told me about 33 GB. I've heard the default amount is generally 15% of your hard drive, so this makes perfect sense.
However, if you add the space allocated for the backup shadow copy to what TreeSize says I'm using, the total is still only 110 GB. Windows is telling me that 180 GB are being used.
And I can't figure out why.
The only lead I've got is something I heard floating around on message boards about Vista making several shadow copies. However I have no idea how to check and see if this is the case, but it may explain the 70 GB that are unaccounted for.
Reddit, you guys have always been awesome: please, if you have any ideas, take a minute out of your day to help me out. It's really bugging me that I can't figure this out on my own.
TL;DR: | Vista is fucking with my mind, and despite all my efforts, I can't figure out where my missing hard drive space is being used. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [24M]with my gf [24F] 8months, need advice whether to continue relationship
POST: I have been with this girl for 8 months now exclusively and I am not sure whether or not I should continue to see her. When we first started dating I was aware her ex was trying to get back with her. She was honest that she had sex with him right before we became exclusive when we were just getting to know one another.
However, it just came out that she continued to see him platonically 3 months after we became exclusive. She just had a hard time hurting his feeling as they were together for eight years before me. For the purpose of discussion can we assume she really was just hanging out with him not having sex. I am certain she wasn't. She was scared that I wouldn't want to be with her if she told me way back when. She has since mustered up the courage to tell him she can't see him anymore but is just telling me now... Months later.
TL;DR: | Gf saw her ex once or twice a week 3 months into our exclusive relationship and is only telling me months after the fact. What would others do in my shoes as her boyfriend? |
SUBREDDIT: r/dating_advice
TITLE: Do you think she likes me or is just playing around? [26/f] [27/f]
POST: I met this beautiful woman a few weeks ago and then all of the sudden while we are at the bar one night, she started laying her head into my chest and telling me how I was pretty and smelled wonderful. My guy friend started teasing her about a girl on girl experience "if you have had a few drinks" and she said "well ive had a few drinks." Since then, she has made a huge effort to hang out and has been slightly touchy at times. However, while being touchy and stuff and flirting, she still has yet to go for the kiss. She could just be nervous like me though, idk. I do know she has a history of dating mostly men but so do I. She has continued to ask for time together and sends me snapchats, etc, so it makes me wonder and she doesn't seem uncomfortable when I flirt.
How can I tell if she just wants to be friends and is playing around or if she really likes me?
TL;DR: | How can I tell if she likes me or is just playing around because she wants to be friends when she responds to my flirting positively and wants to be around me alot, etc? |
SUBREDDIT: r/jobs
TITLE: Rant/Any advice would be appreciated
POST: Hi Reddit
Throwaway account.
I graduated about 5 years ago in the social sciences field with a bachelor's and a postgraduate certificate. After graduating someone offered me a chance at a business startup overseas. I took it. Wasted 2 years as the project never took off for multiple reasons: primarily because of legal paperwork, and the two investing parties just didn't play well together.
Then I moved back home and helped a friend in the food business. He offered me a partnership, so I took it. Didn't have to put anything down, just had to put the hours in, which I did. We weren't making any money, and the guy couldn't afford to the upkeep, so that shutdown. Another 2 years down the drain. And definitely don't want to go back to the food biz. Whilst I was doing that, I started volunteering with a charity, and after about a year, they offered me a job. I only volunteered a few hours a week. Anyhow, landed a contract with them (basic reception work), contact ended, funding ran out, and nothing since then.
I've been out of work for almost 6 months, on welfare, trying to volunteer with places which might turn into a job, but no such luck. I make as much on welfare as I would working full time at a minimum wage job. I've applied across the country, and no luck. At this point I'm just shooting resumes without even bothering to tailor them (I know, not a good idea, but I'm trying to deal with it as best as I can). It's super depressing.
I've even tried cold calling, but I always get their voicemail. I've sent follow up emails, and the ones that look promising have relied, but the wait time is another month or so, and they are out of town. I never get replies from locals. Have had a few interviews for part time jobs, but no luck with those. They were in my field, but I guess I was overqualified based on the job description. Or just a crappy interviewee.
TL;DR: | feel like I've wasted 5 years; failed business attempts, pretty much 0 experience in my field of study, don't know what to do anymore. |
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU by air drumming in the subway.
POST: So reddit, a few hours ago I was riding the subway home from visiting a cousin and I had my music playing on my headphones. After a while Chop Suey from System of a Down comes up and the song intro is a drum solo. Naturally I start air drumming away, its an awesome solo so im going pretty hard at it.
Here's where the fuck up begins. The thing is I had my Moto G3 playing the music(which I had bought the week before), and i was holding it in my hand at the time. Little did i know that the Moto G3 has a feature in which you shake it up and down to turn on the flashlight. Since I was air drumming like there was no tomorrow i didn't notice the flashlight was going on and off.
The chick besides me must have thought I was taking pictures of her cuz she slapped me so fucking hard it still hurts. She then proceeded to yell at me and call me a fucking swine and other shit and moved the farthest away from me as possible. I didn't even have time to explain myself.
TL;DR: | if you have a MotoG3, be careful when you're air drumming, and don't do it besides a girl. |
SUBREDDIT: r/Advice
TITLE: Completely changed my life for a "career" ended up hating it.
POST: For the passed several years I've been managing/bartending in a restaurant and like most people in that industry, complained about wanting a day job/career etc. The only good thing was that I was making decent money for my education level and what not. I'd say around 45k a year. I finally got fed up with it and applied to trade school in the electrical program. It sounded interesting and something I could possibly see myself doing, I wasn't very happy at my restaurant job and was desperate for any hope of a career.
Fast forward two months into school and I got an entry level job at an electrical contractors, which you would think would be awesome. So not my schedule is 7am-3:30pm work m-f and school 4pm-8:30pm m-w. Now I'm so tired that I literally can't even pay attention in school and am retaining zero information and it turns out I don't really like the job, or don't currently anyways. On top of it all I'm only making $11/hr and can barely pay my bills. I won't have the potential for even a 1 dollar raise until around Feb or March of 2017. It's causing severe strain on my relationship with my fiance, I'm borderline clinically depressed because I hate my job so much/financial troubles. Not to mention insomnia and anxiety because of how stressed I am.
I'm really at a loss for what I should do. Every option seems no better than the rest. I paid 3k for the class and it doesn't end until the end of January. I don't want to quit the class for sure and don't want to quit my job until the class is over, as my instructor is friends with my boss.
I just need some adivce...
TL;DR: | Tried to start a career, hate it more than my last job, can barely pay my bills and am out 3k. |
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU by quoting Star Wars.
POST: (Happened on Saturday)
Let me preface this by saying both my boyfriend (a 26 year old dude) and I (a 25 year old woman) absolutely adore Star Wars. The Leia/Han relationship happens to be one of his absolute favorite things about the series.
On Saturday night, we were in bed cuddling and kissing and just being overall kind of gross. After three months of dating, he decides to tell me he loves me for the first time.
What was my automatic response?
*"I know"*
I thought it would be cute and we'd laugh and kiss and then I'd say "I love you too".
Instead, it was more like:
".. w-what? is.. that.. is that really... it?".
My big, burly, bearded boyfriend looked like an adorable little puppy that I had just kicked. I felt like I could see his heart breaking.
Turns out, he was actually really nervous about saying it for the first time, as he doesn't really have much of a serious relationship history. I didn't even think about that when I decided to Han Solo him, especially since he's usually very confident and assertive. He was apparently so nervous, he had planned on saying it last month, but kind of freaked out and put it off until that night.
I felt fucking terrible.
I tried to quickly correct the situation with "STAR WARS, BABY. STAR WARS. I'M SORRY. SHIT. IloveyouIloveyouIloveyou", but it took a few minutes for him to actually recover from his sad, kicked puppy reaction.
It's funny now, but it wasn't when I thought I had totally ruined my boyfriend.
TL;DR: | My nerdy, very nervous boyfriend said "I love you" for the first time, and my knee jerk reaction is to Han Solo him. I felt like a scruffy-looking Nerf herder. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My boyfriend [23M] constantly accuses me [22F] of flirting, but I'm just being nice
POST: I have been dating my boyfriend Justin for five months, we have a pretty good relationship, except he seems pretty jealous of my relationships with other guys, even though I have been completely faithful and he doesn't call that fact into question, yet he says I am too flirty with men. I do not intentionally flirt with other men, I am just nice. If a guy friend gets a haircut, or is dressed well, I will compliment them. He considers that being flirty.
If a random approaches me on the street and compliments me, as long as they are respectful about it, I will thank them and wish them a nice day. He considers that being flirty.
If I'm at a bar without him and a guy buys me a drink, I accept it, because yay free beer, but he thinks that is flirty, too.
A couple of times when I've been with him and his friends, if I laugh, or seem to interested in what his buddies are saying, he accuses me of flirting with them. It's really getting too much for me to put up with, am I just supposed to completely ignore other men?
TL;DR: | Boyfriend always accuses me of flirting with other guys, but I feel like I'm just being nice. Don't really want to break up, but I'm getting sick of this! |
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU by getting groceries after work
POST: So of course, this wasn't today, it was about two months ago. But I just thought it should go here today lol. Whatever. :)
So I (used to) work at Texas Roadhouse doing to-go orders. This has us doing many things; food prep, phone service, seating, etc. One of the duties is making sure that those glorious little rolls served to every table each get a container of cinnamon sugar butter- which means I needed to prep said butter by taking it and scooping it into three ounce containers in little butter balls and setting a ton of these prepped butter containers out ready to go with the bread. Cool! So I prep probably about 600-700 of these and go on with my duties.
Now our dress codes at Texas Roadhouse aren't hard to go by, but they are strict in a way; only the Texas Roadhouse shirt with dark wash denim and a belt. Not bad at all, but the denim shows said butter I had been prepping AMAZINGLY well. Keep that in mind!
So I go into the grocery store and am shopping, and these two semi-attractive girls are looking at me and kinda talking as they come up. They're smiling and continue walking up to me, continue talking, and they get about ten feet from me, look me up and down, go from smiles and borderline flirty to absolutely disgusted, and speedway away, out the door. What the heck? "What just happened lol," I'm thinking. And then I look down to see what I look like if someone visibly "checked me out" as they did. And I see all around my crotch is the cinnamon sugar butter smeared. We don't have napkins by where we prep that, so I, out of habit, just wiped my hands on my pants. But because of the location, I looked like I got something that.. wasn't butter.. all over my crotch. Wonderful! Lesson learned, never did that again!
TL;DR: | Worked at Texas Roadhouse, prepped butter, wiped dirty butter hands on pants, didn't look like butter, mortified two girls at the grocery store shopping after work. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Is my (30/m) girlfriend (42/F) right in this situation?
POST: I go on an annual camping trip with a bunch of friends. I broke up with an ex last year and I'm dating someone new this year.
I had already planned this trip and just for context, there are about 30 to 40 people that go each year. Some of which include my ex, her brother in law, and two of my brothers. Andy (the brother in law) and I are both getting into bicycle touring which is basically an extended bike ride (from days up till months/years). Him and I planned to ride our bikes to the camp grounds (across the state which is only about two days).
My current girlfriend mentioned that she didn't want me to go on the camping trip since my ex would be there. I agreed. I then mentioned that maybe I would just do the bike ride there then ride back (I wouldn't even see my ex). She didn't have much to say about that but I thought she was pleased that I wasn't seeing my ex girlfriend.
Fast forward to tonight. Someone asks if I'm still training for the big bike ride (it's still two months away) and I said yes. My girlfriend has a little freak out saying she can't believe I'm still going on the bike ride and that I'm hanging out with my ex's brother in law. It got a lot more verbal than that but I'll leave that part out for now unless someone thinks it's relevant. It was pretty bad though.
So... was I wrong? Is my ex's brother in law off limits? I thought I was doing the right thing by not going camping. I still think that but is dropping the bike ride necessary? I was really looking forward to it.
TL;DR: | already agreed to not attend a camping trip due to the presence of the ex. Now I'm being asked to avoid the bicycle trip that the ex isn't involved with. |
SUBREDDIT: r/offmychest
TITLE: I Don't Feel The Same Way About You....
POST: Reddit....I'm in need of your advice. I apologise if this may seem stupid or little compared to the other posts here but I would truly appreciate your help and or advice.
I've been talking to a girl for the past two to three weeks and she's very much keen on me. She messaged me on one dating site and I ignored it as I wasn't interested. She then messaged me on another and part of me felt forced to reply as I could at least be friendly to her! She is acting like we're a couple already. Every single post I put on Facebook, she is the first one to comment and like it. Immediately. She is suffering with a head cold and one of the days told me she is recovering in her >>insert my real name here<<< less bed. Everything I say, her reply is like "Stop being so cute!", *Gives you a cuddle* etc. I'm not even insinuating anything or meaning to! We haven't even met yet and she's acting like next week (when we said we would meet up) will be our first date. She has asked me will she be lucky to get a second/third date. I haven't got the heart to tell her I'm not interested in her or don't feel the same way. The only thing I have told her is that we take things **VERY** slowly. I just don't know if I'm being shallow or not. I'm not getting the butterflies in my stomach. I'm getting nothing.
What would be a nicer way to say "Yeah I'm not interested in you?" "I don't see you as anything more than a friend..." I don't have the guts to tell her out front.
I am interested in someone/else and I hope to ask her soon would she like to meet up. (She is studying for exams at the moment and has one tomorrow afternoon so I will wait until the weekend to ask)
Thank you in advance for any help/advice! :) I also apologise for the length.
TL;DR: | Girl is very much into me, I don't feel the same. How do I tell her nicely that I'm not interested? |
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU by making fun of my teacher's dead friend and clothes-lining my sister with a garage door.
POST: The first event happened around noon, the second happened around an hour ago at about 9 PM.
My teacher was on her phone in the hallway while we were on the bikes on the fitness center at our school. Being the smart ass I am, I yell over to her, "Hey, how was your phone call?!" She walks over to me and my friends and says with a grave face, while I'm still all smiles and giggles, and straight up says, "Not very good. . . I just got a call that my friend died." That wiped the smirk right off my silly face.
The second, most recent incident that happened about an hour ago involved my sister, my brother, and I. My brother drove my sister home from a school event and I took a separate car. I turn off my car in the driveway and sprint into the garage to close the garage door on them. My sister (who is legally blind and deaf), decided she wanted to run inside too. The garage door was about half closed when it was at her head height *italics*and she fucking ran right into it.*italics* It was almost like a cartoon in slow motion - she literally ran right into it and flew onto her back, giving herself the biggest lump on her head. She hasn't stopped reciting information so that she won't forget anything. . .
TL;DR: | I made my teacher's already terrible day worse by asking about her dead friend and I clothes-lined my sister with a garage door. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [25 M] can afford my friend's [24M] expensive destination wedding but think it is too much money
POST: About a year ago a friend of mine for 10+ years asked me to be in his wedding. I agreed but not formally, at that time knowing that it was probably going to be in Mexico. This was a year ago and no details were known. Fast forward to now, he just told me today where the wedding was going to be and what days. It's going to be in Cancun at one of those crazy expensive resorts during an expensive time to travel.
Basically for 3 or 4 nights it will be almost $3200 for me and my girlfriend. For me alone it would be $2100. Checked with the travel sites (travelocity, etc...) and they say $2600 for both or $1800 alone. Will have to get a suit/tux at a cost of another couple hundred dollars. To me, this is a crazy amount of money to ask your friends to spend.
The problem is, I can afford it. I work in tech and make good money but I am a saver. I am trying to pay off my house and burning $2 or 3 thousand for 3 days is just very irresponsible to me. I am doing very well financially and he knows this so I simply cannot have the excuse of not being able to pay for it like a few of our friends are pulling.
I just cannot justify this expense. The resort they chose is $500/night. I would never, ever, even consider spending that kind of money on a hotel even for my own wedding night. How can I possibly get out of this without ending our friendship or am I being unreasonable since I can afford it?
I should say he is the type that will just not understand why I wouldn't want to do this as we have completely different outlooks on finances.
TL;DR: | Friend is having an expensive destination wedding in which I am a groomsman. I can afford to go, but think it is just way too much money. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: What is the most embarrassing unwarrented public boner you or someone you know has had?
POST: Me first. So last night I was walking to the bus stop at the mall I work at, when I passed the movie theatre(theater, whatever) and spotted these 3 cute girls. I thought about talking to the cutest one but she seemed out of my league so I pressed on by. Sure enough, they walk out in front of me and the girl I think is cute is looking back every second or two just staring at me. I got this major feeling that she sensed my creepin' stare and was giving me a, "what the f***, creep!" Look, so I diverted my attention away trying to be polite. However, I noticed she kept still looking back. At this point I figured I would just separate myself from them and widened the gap as I made my way to the bus.
Now the girls start yelling. I look back and it's obvious they're yelling to me. Preparing myself for jokes and ridicule, I hesitantly walked over to them knowing this was some kind of mean joke. But when I said hi, the girl said I was really cute and she wanted to give me her number! She put it in my phone for me and texted herself from my phone to prove it was legit! Her two friends were staring and there were some folks just standing around, too. Once I realised this wasn't a joke, I got a major hard on that pushed itself against my pants so hard it was hardly a silouette and more of a high relief sculpture of some sort. My junk was so obvious it protruded out so everyone could see! I didn't even notice it at first. When I did, it made me first think of the picture of Olympic rower Henrik Rummel, and secondly made me realise the girls had all already seen it including all the elderly people sitting for the bus. I desparately tried to cover it with my book, The God Delusion by Richard Dawkins, but to no avail. She said I obviously think she's cute, too, and told me to call her later, then proceeded to walk to her car with her friends (who were still giggling btw) and drive off. I just stood there, embarrassed, speechless, and feeling a few other things.
TL;DR: | Tried to hide my boner behind my book... didn't work, but I got a phone number. :D |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [16F] going to a movie with a guy [16 M] who I literally started talking to a couple hours ago.
POST: So, I met this guy through very distant mutual friends, and I came across his instagram and commented on a picture. Then we started snapchatting which led to texting, and well, now I'm going on a date with him tomorrow? We are seeing the hobbit in theaters(I'm also a die hard LOTR fan...) and I get to see his cats and stuff when I pick him up, and I think it will be fun, but how do I act?
The only other movie date I went on was when I was with my childhood best friend and we already knew each other and stuff. I don't want for things to be really awkward, yanno? I LITERALLY just started talking to him a couple hours ago and now we have a date.
TL;DR: | met a boy a couple hours ago and now we are going to the movies on a date and I have no clue how to act or what to do, and I'm freaking out a bit. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [29M] with my GF[28 F] stoppage in sex.
POST: So we haven't had sex in about three weeks. Excuses come pouring in, which I don't question. She mentions "hormones/stress from school/bills".
Today, we met for lunch, talked about it. She mentions how she's sad when she wakes up and goes to bed. She has zero libido. Only time she's happy is when she is with friends or with me.
We finish up and she senses that I'm taking this the wrong way and says, "I love you, but I just can't sex you. You are my everything".
GF says she is unable to show affection back to me due to her circumstances. On the ride back home, she began crying, letting me know that it has nothing to do with the relationship and she just wants me to understand that she is going through something in her life right now.
This is coming from a girl who admitted that she's horny 24/7. We went from sexing almost twice a day in the first few months to this.
I'm being really patient/understanding of her. I just don't know what to do if this go beyond a month or even two? Any advice?
My best buddy from college told me that his ex did the "no sex" act right before moving onto another guy.
TL;DR: | GF stopped having sex, blames it on stress/hormones being wierd. She tells me that it has nothing to do with the relationship. I'm starting to second guess that. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: How do I [27M] proceed with this amazing girl [27F] without sounding needy and clingy?
POST: I (M27) met this girl (F27) one night and we really hit it off. I told her I wanted to see her again and she enthusiastically agreed. I walked her back to her apartment and we kissed. She said text me.
So the next day I text her and we make a date to go out. We go out and play pool, drink and smoke cigarettes, and we both had a great time. That night we went back to her apartment and had tea and made out a little bit. She said that she 'really liked me.'
The next day we made plans via text to go hiking the next day. When the next day happens we meet for coffee, she says she is sick with fever, so she has to go home and rest - before we leave we decide that if there's time the next day we'll get together and do something.
After I leave the coffee place I text her and say I should cook dinner for her tomorrow night. She doesn't text me again.
Two days later I text her asking "are you feeling better?:)" and she replies that she feels a little better, that she took the day off work.
Okay. I have no idea if she's actually still interested. I really want to see her again. But I'm afraid of sounding needy. That text I sent about cooking her dinner, I think that sounded super needy and that's why she stopped texting me. What's the best way to proceed with this?
TL;DR: | I'm really attracted to this girl and I don't want to fuck it up. Do I wait or text her again or do I text her soon? What do I say? |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Can anyone help me uncover this mystery?
POST: I found this hand written in a library book many years ago. I was quickly taken with the handwriting and elusive meaning.
- The first image, I know, contains Greek letters. The o that I have written, apparently, isn't a Greek letter. I don't think it's an omicron or theta, but I'm pretty sure that's how it was written. I copied it as best I could from the book.
- The second page appears to be a poem. I have been unable to find any like text searching online; when I look it up, it normally brings up references to Romeo and Juliet's Nurse. I also don't know the meaning of the symbol at the bottom of the page. It kind of seems to be a planetary symbol, but doesn't match anything I've been able to find.
- The third image is of the book that this text came from: Anne Rice's *Pandora.*
This may very well be someone's original poem, but it seemed to me to be more than random graffiti, based on the content of the book. I didn't take a picture at the time, and it was about 6 or 7 years ago that I initially copied this from that book. I don't even know if the book is still in circulation at that library.
TL;DR: | I found graffiti in a library book, and I'm trying to see if it has any meaning or if it's just someone's idea of a good time. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My [18 M] girlfriend [18 F] of 1 year, recently told me she was raped a couple months before we started dating.
POST: Let me start off by saying this is my first post so I apologize if there are any mistakes.
Last night my girlfriend told me that she was raped by a guy she was seeing before me. She originally told me 3 months into our relationship that she had lost her virginity to this guy, but, that was all she had said.
Yesterday, she gave me the full story. On their first date, he took her to a party, had her drink a ridiculous amount of alcohol, saw that she was passing out, took her to a bedroom and forced himself on her while she was passed out. I thought this was the worst news I could have received but then she told me that she began a relationship with him that lasted for 2 months. She said the relationship consisted of him coming to her house having his way with her, and leaving.
This is the part I don't understand. Why would my girlfriend do this? Why would she give consent to her own rapist?!?!? I cannot contemplate that.
On top of all this, he has been trying to contact her for the past year. After she left him, she broke all lines of communication with him and changed her phone number. But, he has been finding ways to contact her every couple of months through Facebook and the like. This past Tuesday she received calls and texts from him asking why she stopped talking to him.
What disturbs me most is that my girlfriend has obviously been on this guy's mind for over a year and he has taken the time to find her new phone number. What should I do about this guy? Why did my girlfriend not tell me even if she was receiving messages from this asshole for over a year? I just feel like complete shit after hearing this. Any thoughts or advice would be greatly appreciated.
TL;DR: | Just found out that my girlfriend was raped a couple months before I met her. Her rapist has been trying to contact her for over a year and just started calling her again though she changed her phone number. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: [21 M] Would it be creepy for me to send this classmate a friend request on Facebook?
POST: We had class together. I never really talked to her because I was too shy and never really got the chance to. When we walked past each other she would always smile at me and I would smile back. In class she always commented on my projects and helped me out in the lab sometimes. Gave me compliments on my work.
Now class is over and I never really got to talk to her. I don't know if I will see her again. I know her facebook. How creepy would it be for me to send a friend request? I'm betting that it would FREAK her out and turn her off towards me. So I probably shouldn't do that. I really don't want to look like a creep.
What about a message? Or would that creep her out even more? I just don't want to look like a creep and I don't want to scare her or anything like that. Should I just leave her alone then?
TL;DR: | Class is over and I want to see my crush again and want to contact her through facebook, wondering if that would be too creepy |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My friend [29M] is mad at me [28M] for pointing out people smoking pot around kids
POST: My friend, Steve, invited me to a barbecue at his friend's house, Adam and Crystal--we've hung out as a group before but I don't know them too well as they're Steve's friends.
Adam and Crystal are 420-enthusiasts which--while I don't smoke myself--I'm totally fine with the legalization of marijuana.
When we arrive, there's a bunch of people hanging out all over the backyard. Crystal and Adam are off **playing with their 2-year-old daughter while passing a joint back and forth.**
I was pretty appalled to see this and I muttered something out like, "Is that really weed they're smoking?" in total disbelief. Steve fired back to keep quiet and later in the night said it ticked him off that "Just because you're not used to that, doesn't mean I should make a big deal of it." and that Crystal and Adam aren't ashamed of pot and do it freely...
Okay, so because you believe in smoking weed, you need to do it when you're with your 2-year-old daughter?
Am I crazy for letting something like smoking marijuana around your toddler in 2015 upset me?
Yeah, I get that I'm attacking his friends and he's sticking up for them but I would have pretty much the same reaction to cigarette smoke when we now know how much damage second-hand smoke can do to a small child.
TL;DR: | Friends of a friend smoke marijuana around toddler. I make a comment and my friend is mad and tells me pot just isn't something I'm used to. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Reddit, I moved to the US when I was young and, now, at the beginning of my professional training, I want to emigrate. I will be making a 2-month x-country trip next month to try convince me otherwise. Please help me make this trip the strongest argument this country can make.
POST: I want to emigrate to somewhere in Europe perhaps. English-speaking is not a must, but my professional career choice limits my choice of country. Either way, i will be uprooting my Significant Other who is extremely family oriented (we are training in the same profession) as well as leaving my family here.
The politics here is not necessarily what makes me want to leave. But when we are *still* fighting for civil liberties, persuaded (not informed) by our media outlets, and risk our children's future based on the abysmal lack of interest in early (pre-undergraduate) education, I find it hard to want to stay.
I live in the South East. My trip is not so much impromptu as not structured. Please help me develop a road trip that will be the equivalent of this countries strongest argument against emigration.
TL;DR: | I live in the Southeast. I would like Reddit's help in developing a 'roadtrip' that will act as this countries strongest argument against emigration. |
SUBREDDIT: r/dating_advice
TITLE: No experience with relationships and unsure how to begin.
POST: I am a 19 year old male currently in college. During high school I dated twice (freshman and junior years) and the total duration of both relationships is around 5 months. Neither girlfriend was particularly interested any anything other than sex, sexting, etc. which I wasn't really ready for. Both also had their own issues (the first had a problem with chronic lying) and the whole endeavor scared me away from dating for a while.
My current conundrum is that I have never been in a relationship that went beyond the first few kisses. I am not particularly interested in anybody now and do not have anybody in mind as a potential girlfriend. I understand that dating someone for the sake of having someone to date is a terrible idea (see girlfriend number one), but I am afraid that if I do not amass some sort of relationship experience now then I will be unable to proceed when I *do* find someone that I am attracted to. I have no idea how to do anything romantic or anything that one would do when dating.
This leads me to believe that my first genuine attempt at dating (whenever that will be) will be so clumsy as to drive the girl away. To make matters worse I am incredibly timid and have problems with social anxiety.
TL;DR: | Never really dated before and I am afraid that my lack of experience will prevent me from dating more the longer I wait. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: [23M] Doubting about being fuck buddies with a [23 F] friend
POST: So, I have this clear opportunity to become the fuck buddy of one female friend.
Pros: She's super hot and is kind of crazy about me, at least sexually.
Cons: I've only been with one other person (sexually) and I definitely enjoyed it, but that time she was my girlfriend, not a fuck buddy. I don't have moral issues, but a part of me thinks that, since up to now I haven't been sexually with someone that isn't my girlfriend, is kind of the thing that some girls might be looking for.
Am I right thinking that way? I feel right by "honouring" what seems like a "gentleman's code" but I would definitely like to be fuck buddies with her.
Besides, that gentleman idea might only be in my head, it's just that nowadays it kind of felt like a bonus to be able to tell a girl that I wasn't into that sort of thing.
When I was younger, I didn't like the idea of one night stands or fuck buddies or friends with benefits and so because it felt morally incorrect to me, but now I realize that even thinking that way was just a stunt, because of the opportunity presented with someone I was sexually attracted to, I would've definitely taken it.
Another thing that really bothers me is that I hate gossip and getting into this will eventually generate some, even though we've talked about it and we've both agreed on not telling anyone, I feel that she might tell a friend or something like that.
And on top of that, her boyfriend ended his relationship with her because he was insecure and felt jealous about other guys, me being the number one of them.
So, should or shouldn't I get into this? Feel free to ask anything.
TL;DR: | Not sure about being fuck buddies with a friend because I hate gossip and I'm afraid I'll no longer be considered a "gentleman". |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My [19f] boyfriend's [19m] sense of humor is seemingly destroying our relationship.
POST: We've been together for a year and a half, and we love each other. However, he particularly enjoys making offensive jokes (such as rape, other controversial/inappropriate matters, etc.) and I have told him time and time again that I do not find these things funny, and that he should stop, or at least try to have respect for me and not say them in my presence. He insists that his humor stems from "the people he's been around" and that I should take it more lightly.
Today (or yesterday, whatever) he made a joke regarding my dad's drinking and liver, knowing my dad has a drinking problem. We had a big fight over this "joke" with him saying that he didn't know it was going to hurt my feelings. Currently, I am not speaking to him.
Am I overreacting to his humor? I truly feel as if this issue is gradually pulling us apart, because in my eyes, I see it as immaturity and childishness.
TL;DR: | Boyfriend of 1.5 years has sense of humor that I find offensive. Poked fun at my alcoholic father. Part of me feels like I'm overreacting. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [20F] miss the person [35M], not the relationship
POST: I broke up with my boyfriend of two years a few days ago. He was heartbroken, but understanding and supportive.
He was originally in a mentoring role for me, and I guess that what I really wanted from him was a parental/guiding love. When he wanted something more, I went along with it just so that I wouldn't lose him.
I feel somewhat relieved that the relationship is over, because I always felt like I was abusing his love for me. But I miss him as a friend and mentor so much, and I'm worried about him finding a person that will be able to love him where I couldn't.
A part of me wants to go back to him and try again, even though I know that it won't work. But I don't how to move forward without him. I'm worried about my future, and I'm worried that I ruined his future.
How should I move forward? I feel that contacting him again would only give him false hope and hurt him more, but I feel so empty without him.
TL;DR: | I broke up with my boyfriend because I loved him as a mentor. I miss him as a person but have no desire to re-enter the relationship, and I don't know how to move forward. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Guys.. I'm slowly dieing here. Need advice. 21/M 20/F
POST: My girlfriend and I have been together for about 2 months, yet we have known each other for months before that. We live in the same city now but in the next couple weeks I will have to go out of town for work (~7 hours away).
Here is the dilemma: The long distance is not an issue, but the real issue is that we both know that our relationship will not work out in the long run due to family compatibility issues (culture, etc). Family is very important for the both of us, so we understand that in the long run if our families aren't happy then things will be very difficult in the future.
So right now we are in a depressing gut wrenching stage where we both know I am leaving in a couple weeks, and we aren't sure what is happening after that between us. And the closer and closer this date gets the more we naturally tightly hold on to each other. It's seriously depressing. We both are kind of aware that it has to come, we would love to remain friends but obviously it's really hard to remain friends in a situation like this.
For me, I know I can deal with things over time, but what kills me is I know she'll be devastated by this. It really tears at you seeing an extremely gentle caring person potentially get hurt. Especially when she's so understanding and willing to take the hit. We have both told each other we'd just enjoy each others company and after I leave for work we'd figure it out. However obviously its still very hard. Part of me wants to say fuck the parents, lets do this. But realistically its not that easy :(
Any advice in this situation? Is there something I can say/we can both do to make this easier? Anyone had any experience with a situation like this? This thing has honestly been eating away at me. Thanks in advance.
TL;DR: | 2 months in, I have to leave for work, we both know it wont work out due to family. The closer it gets, the harder we hold on. Tears everywhere man. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [35 M] with my girlfriend [45 F] of 2 months, am concerned about a Meetup event she will be attending.
POST: She will be attending an InterPlay Meetup event very soon and I'm a nervous wreck about it because two of the descriptors in the "We're About" section of the Meetup are "Contact Improvisation Dance" and "Adult Play". Those are in addition to the name of the Meetup itself which makes me uncomfortable: "InterPlay".
I'm a nervous wreck. But am I being nervous for no reason or should I be worried?
When I asked her why she joined it she said it interested her because of the story telling. She's also interested in theater.
To me, however, this seems like a really sexually charged event.
So I'm wondering if anybody else would have an issue with their boyfriend/girlfriend attending one of these events? The idea of "InterPlay" alone makes me uncomfortable. I don't like the idea of her "playing" with other people when it's not something that she and I have done. Also, "Contact Improvisation Dance" makes me incredibly uncomfortable too. How much contact are we talking about here? When you throw in "Adult Play" I'm almost anxious enough to throw up.
I should also mention that we are exclusive with each other; this is not an open relationship.
Any feedback will be appreciated as this is causing me to lose sleep right now. I'm a wreck.
TL;DR: | Girlfriend will be attending a Meetup with "Adult Play" as one of the descriptors & I don't know what to think. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: [22f] my boyfriend[23m] and I are both too busy
POST: The guy I'm in a relationship with are both in extremely rigorous programs in school. We are usually both working non-stop from when we wake up to when we go to sleep. I usually take one weekend night to go out, and that's about as much as I can afford. We've been dating for the last couple of months and have established it as a monogamous relationship (we don't really like labels that much). However, we've just been too busy to do anything really date-like, i.e. going out for dinner or spending an afternoon together. Instead, it's been mostly one of us visiting the other right before bedtime, talking for maybe half an hour before having sex and then passing out. We wake up, and then go on our way since both of us have too much work to do. I have literally never had breakfast with this guy. We've talked about this issue, and have communicated about how we both really like each other but that we need to actually get to know each other more. We're going to stop hooking up for a bit, and see where it goes, but sex is a really important part of a relationship for me. We don't live together, but are 10 minutes away from each other. How do you all think we should make it work?
TL;DR: | both really busy, we see each other, have sex, and that's the only thing we usually have time for. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: [23/m] Not sure if I am interested in this girl [22/f] because I am lonely, or because I genuinely really like her.
POST: It's been a long time since I've had proper friends, and I am lonely a lot of the time. There is this girl who I see every week and I am thinking of asking her out. She is one of the first girls I've interacted with in a long time and I don't know if asking her out is a good thing to do or not.
You know that line from Eternal sunshine of the spotless mind; "Why do I fall in love with every women I see who shows me the least bit of attention", it doesn't sound like a very emotionally healthy place to be. I am kind of like that. So, I have two options. I've been working on myself for the past several months after my girlfriend broke up with me. Things like exercise, fashion and meditation. I am in a better place than before, but still still not fully healthy. It's because of my self improvement that I've had the courage to get to know this girl. So, I can either forget about this girl and continue to work on myself (my next step is to join a club and make friends) or I can just go for it. Some perspective would be great and would be much appreciated!
TL;DR: | I'm a lonely guy, confused if I should ask out one of the first semi-attractive girls I've interacted with in a long time, or not because I only feel this way because I am lonely and desperate. |
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU by eating a hot pizza at Pizza Express.
POST: So, I went to Pizza Express. I bought the Etna, and by force of habbit I added garlic and chilli oil to it. Bad idea. My mouth was burning and spicy oil was smothering my hands. I was frequently wiping my hands in a conveniently placed napkin beside me.
Suddenly, I needed the toilet and got up to go and poop. When I returned I sat back down and resumed my meal.
Later, my nose began, as I was consuming copious amounts of spicy food, running and I yet again noticed a conveniently placed napkin beside me. I picked it up and immediately wiped my noise with the slightly orange stain covered napkin. Another bad idea. Another bad idea that I immediately regretted. My nose was burning like our lord and saviour, Satan. So... Yeah.
TL;DR: | Ate a spicy pizza, put spice on napkin, used napkin to wipe nose, it stings like crap. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [23M] with my wife [23 F] of 4 years, she said she stopped itfidelity but did not
POST: About a year into our relationship I found out my wife had been talking to a guy from high school online and on the phone, sending naked pictures and such. I found out because she left the laptop on, not because of honesty. She said she regretted it and would stop and that we would work on our relationship, and we did.
Now were coming up on 5 years, have a kid, and we're moving soon for my new job and she just told me she never actually stopped. We just started seeing a marriage counselor for what I thought was communication strategies, but now I feel like I'm an idiot for missing signs or something.
Im not really sure what to do from here, we'll see the counselor again in two weeks but I'm not sure Ill be able to discuss this in a reasonable manner with her because Im pretty upset at the breach of trust. I'm not jumping to divorce, but while this is the biggest issue we've had its far from the only one so I dont really know what Im going to do.
Ive been trying to work on clear communication since she had told me I dont do it well, any advice for how to approach this when I see her again?
TL;DR: | Wife said she stopped talking/sending pictures to another guy years ago but didn't. I just want advice feom an outside perspective. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: I [21/f] found out the guy [26/m] I'm seeing has a kid...
POST: Shit, where do I start? Throwaway because I feel like a terrible human being.
I met this guy about a month and a half ago, we have been dating for about 3 weeks now. I met him through a mutual friend. He's really nice, good-looking, and we have a lot in common.
About a week into it, he accidentally 'reveals' (unbeknownst to me at the time) in conversation that he has his child the coming weekend. I was taken back. He said he assumed I had known since we were friends on Facebook for a little while. At first, it didn't bug me whatsoever. Why should it? However, as time goes on I continue to mull it over in my head. I'm freaked. Everything is telling me to RUN away fast. I haven't seen his kid personally, only really know his name...
I have no idea what to do, I am at a total loss as to why I feel this way.
TL;DR: | met a guy, dated for a week until i knew he had a kid. now i want to run for the hills. help? |
SUBREDDIT: r/askwomenadvice
TITLE: Polite way to say "NO, I don't want to buy the stupid make-up you're selling!"
POST: Hello All, I am looking for some advice.
I recently reconnected with an old friend who I was so excited to have lunch with. After a few minutes she started her sales pitch into how wonderful of a time (and how much money she's making) selling Arbonne makeup. She gave me a trial face kit to use for a week. I figured no skin off my back, I'll try it.
Well I hate it.
I've been following the seven steps and products for the week (giving it my all). I know I won't continue to do this- I'm too lazy.
My face is starting to break out. She said its the "impurities" coming out and to add acne medication. No- I don't want to add another step. Wouldn't it be easier to just stop using the kit?
Anyways...I'm meeting on Thursday to give it back to her. She says her manager will stop by too (probably to push me?).
What's a polite way to just say "NO thanks" without harming this newly reconnected friendship.
TL;DR: | Reconnected with an old friend who is pushing her Arbonne make up on me. It's too expensive and I don't like it. How can I say no without ruining this new reconnection? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: [19M] and my [19F] partner of 5 years, she just told me that she may have become "asexual"
POST: Hi! So my partner and I are both 19 years old and have been dating for 5 years. Over the past few months she has stopped wanting sex entirely, and she obliges to have it once or twice a month only because I pester her a lot. Today she told me that she may have become "asexual" in that she neither needs nor desires sex at all.
I have the highest libido imaginable; If alone I could masturbate 1-5 times a day. I don't intend on breaking up with her, because I have a great relationship outside of sex, and I don't logically see the difference between masturbating a lot whether in a relationship or while single and alone, but this is something that I know will become more and more frustrating as I am left to my own devices to fulfill whatever sexual "needs" I have along with her just not really wanting sex and appearing to not really enjoy the sex I do have with her.
She seemed kind of upset that, when asked, I said that I think sex is important to me and that I think it is in most relationships. Her point of reference seems to be that she has read about couples who just forego sex entirely, kind of implying that it is only the strength and authenticity of their bond that keeps them together instead of something shallow and physical like sex. I don't think she believes me when I say sex is an important thing in almost every serious relationship. I don't know if I believe myself. I feel shallow for valuing sex, and I'm not sure if I am right for wanting sex so much.
Is this just the outcome of all long term relationships? It seems bleak to believe that it is inevitable, but most things are, I guess.
Right now it isn't a huge problem, because it hasn't been like this for too long, but I know this is going to cause problem down the line, and with her saying that she is basically asexual, the thought of this just never really resolving makes me anxious.
TL;DR: | Partner wants to forego sex entirely. I have a very high libido. We are both 19. How important should sex be in a young relationship? |
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU by accidentally starting a riot at my office
POST: So I've had this weird rash but it wasn't itchy or anything so I just ignored it. Well, apparently, I've got some kind of crazy virus that is very similar to chicken pox. I've never had chicken pox, and I'm on a TON of anti-histamines for allergies, so it never occurred to me that I was contagious.
I mentioned it to a coworker who is a nurse, who took one look at my chest and said "You've never had chicken pox? It kind of looks like chicken pox. You should see someone." People overhear that and look at me like I'm crazy, I mosey over to the nearest urgent care facility. Turns out it's not chicken pox, but another similar virus that has similar symptoms (I guess the rash isn't quite textbook or something?). I get put in quarantine, and send an email to my boss and a few others saying as much.
Next thing I know, an email from HR goes out to the entire staff saying that the building has been exposed to chicken pox, and everyone who is at risk should go home immediately. People start replying all asking who was the idiot exposing everyone was, and how our company doesn't do enough to take care of its employees, etc. etc. And apparently, the office has already called in a cleaning service to disinfect everything I've come near. Oh, and we have a few anti-vaxers in our office, to add to the fun.
TL;DR: | Didn't know I had sort-of chicken pox, became patient zero, office freaked out and sent half the staff home, people started rioting about my company's lack of care for its employees. |
SUBREDDIT: r/dating_advice
TITLE: [23M] just had first date with [19F]. Advice on next step?
POST: If you're interested, my first post is [here]
So I went on the date with her. Nothing too fancy like I said. Just went and got milkshakes, sat at a picnic table and talked for a couple hours. I think it went well to be honest. The conversation itself was consistent, and about a bunch of topics. There were a couple lulls, and she checked her phone a bit, but never any long, awkward pauses. Seemed like there was potential for something more, but again, first date, don't want to get ahead of myself.
After it was all done, I said we'll definitely do it again before I leave for school (2 weeks), which she agreed. I brought her home, she said she had a good time, as did I, and I reiterated that we should get together again before I go back, and also if she's ever visiting my school (she's planning on going there) she should lemme know and we'll get together. Her response was that she's probably gonna take a tour soon. So I think things ended on a good note, and overall things went pretty well.
Now it's been a few hours, and I do wanna set up something again, but I think it's still too soon. Even just sending her something saying "hey, had a real good time" right now seems like it'd be too soon, especially considering we both said that a few hours ago.
She mentioned that she took part in some sort of flash mob type thing, and there was a video on YouTube of it and even said where you could see her, so would texting her tomorrow saying something like "hey, I checked out that video, and guess what? Found you in it!" be appropriate? Or should I just stick to something simple like "hey, thanks for coming out yesterday, it was really fun!"
I don't believe in that whole 3 day rule, but I also don't want to seem too clingy or needy. I'm really trying to just play things by ear and just be myself, but a second opinion never hurt :)
TL;DR: | Had a good first date, would like to set up the next one soon, but don't want to seem too clingy or needy. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: What dumb but harmless thing did you do when you were younger which you still laugh about today?
POST: I remember having one of those yogurt snacks which was sealed in a thin plastic bag like tube (Imagine an elongated ketchup pack). You would tear the end of and squeeze the delicious chilled yogurt treat out. (Just describing this is weirding me out).
Anywho, I was sitting there at school with my yogurt treat trying to open it. For some reason the damn thing ripped off without creating an opening. Being the genius I was I started to twist the tube in circles which created massive pressure.
I would continue to do this for the next five minutes without realizing the soon to be consequences of my actions. Without failure the top finally blew and strawberry flavoured yogurt flew some good 5 meters in the air, emptying the entire contents of the little packet. In horror I watched the projectile fly across our dining hall and cover some 10 people on the next three tables in front of me.
At this point I was panicking and threw the damn thing away whilst I watched a near dozen people screaming and wondering what the actual fuck had just happened.
TL;DR: | had a twisty yogurt thing, didn't open correctly, turned it into a goddamn nut busting machine gun and blew a yogurt load over my schoolmates. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [23 F] with my ex [24 M] broke up because he might have feelings for men.
POST: So my boyfriend of 4 years and I broke up a day ago. It ended quite respectfully. My situation is two-fold.
1. He says he is not sure if he is bisexual and believes he can't have a girlfriend while he explores/finds himself. I'm not entirely sure what it is I'm even asking - could this common, has anyone else been in a similar sit.?
Secondly, I am have the worst time stopping myself from contacting him. I just want to call him, text him, tell him I miss him. I've stopped myself but it's so painful. Does anyone have an advice for distractions or ways to stop myself contacting him? Even when I'm with friends all I want to do is text him.
TL;DR: | Boyfriend may be bi and I'm not sure if this is a reflection of me. How do I avoid contacting him? |
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU by gaming the wrong way my whole life
POST: I first got into FPS games around 9 years ago at age 25. I had a motion sickness problem when I was younger which prevented me from playing them, although I could play simulators and other games (weird, I know). I had no problems with the standard WASD controls, but I always wondered why so many games used CTRL for crouch and not C.
Finally, I mentioned this to a friend recently, and he told me: you're supposed to use your ring finger on A and your index finger on D, rather than keeping your hand in the standard typing position. I'd been doing it wrong for years, and never knew because no one told me. At this point it's so ingrained that I'll never change.
TL;DR: | Had been keeping my left hand in the standard typing position for gaming. Didn't know you were supposed to shift your hand to the left. |
SUBREDDIT: r/personalfinance
TITLE: Double charge by a hotel what should I do.
POST: Last night I prepaid for a hotel over the phone. When I got to the hotel I had to give my debit card to the hotel front desk worker for a $50 cover charge, in case I damage or smoke I the room. When I checked my bank this morning it looks like he charged me my room rate instead.
I contacted the hotel's account bookkeeper and she said she would refund me all but the $50s but I should also contact my bank to try and see of they resolve the issues faster.
I call my bank and they asked me to file a claim and I did. I also told them what the correct charge was. I also gave them the number to the account bookkeeper and that I had spoken with her about this.
Is there anything else I should do to make sure this is resolved quickly and correctly.
TL;DR: | I was doubled charge for a hotel room and talked to my bank and the hotel bookkeeper about it. Was wondering if there was anything I should do to make sure this is resolved quickly and correctly. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Ex [26F] of two months broke up with me [34M] on Monday. Currently trying to be friends, but I need advice on how to get over her.
POST: My [34M] ex [26F] and I dated for two months. There was unbelievable chemistry, and I've never experienced love like this before. I've been in love, but this felt different; it was so selfless and amazing.
It got serious very quickly. She started talking about long-term goals, traveling together, moving in together, and she even brought up marriage. I knew I wasn't ready for that, but this is a woman I could picture myself with forever, so I encouraged talking about it.
Then out of the blue, she told me that she wasn't ready for the level of commitment that we had talked about. She also said that she wasn't happy with her life and wanted to make a big change. She's planning on moving out of state in six months.
I love this woman with all my heart, and I really thought she was the one. I want to be in her life, even if it's just as a friend, but right now I feel like a doormat. She says that she's going through a lot of stress with work, and she feels like she's stuck. I've been very selfless throughout this whole relationship and breakup. I want to do anything I can to help her, but I fear that it's making it harder on me.
Going no-contact would hurt her, and I don't know if that would be good for me, either. I enjoy her company (I hung out with her last night), but I can't objectively tell if I'm just hoping she changes her mind and wants me back, or if I'm genuinely trying to be a good friend.
I want her back, but, realistically, I know that's not going to happen. So, I need to get over her. What's the best way to go about doing that?
TL;DR: | Dumped by GF [26F], I [34M] still love her and want to be her friend, but I also want to get over her and move on. How? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My husband (27M) surprised me (28F) with the idea of same room sex with another couple, and I'm not sure how I feel about it.
POST: Yesterday I was talking with my husband after work and for whatever reason we were talking about sexy type things, and it had come up that he'd discussed with one of our friends that he and his fiance were interested in same room sex with us.
I had joked around with my husband about this before, but I'm not sure that I was ever that serious about it. It was more of one of those "wouldn't it be funny" or "what if" kind of things, not necessarily anything I ever actively meant to plan.
I am really unsure how I feel about this. I am a little interested but I'm not sure of any possible repercussions. I sort of feel like I should be mad at my husband for exploring this without really talking that much about it with me first, but on the other side I'm kind of glad that he's being a little adventurous in places I've probably not been so in.
I'm really unsure how to feel about this, can you all help me process this?
TL;DR: | Husband has proposed same room sex with another couple without really talking that much with me first. I'm somewhat interested, but also somewhat mad. I'm not sure how to work it out and need help. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: My [20 F] girlfriend [21 F] betrayed me, is there still hope for us?
POST: My girlfriend and I have been together for 6 months. A week ago I found messages that she sent to another girl.
I confronted her about it and she came clean. She then openly admitted that she has talked to other girls she met online during our relationship but has never met any of the girls in person.
She is the most stubborn and tough person I have ever met but once I confronted her about it, I saw her cry and breakdown for the first time. She told me she is very insecure about herself and has relied on the attention of others to help her feel reassured about herself. She was very apologetic.
Ever since then she has been acting different. She says sweet things to me every few minutes and is being very clingy, she wants to hangout with me 24/7 now. She agrees with everything I say, craves sex multiple times a day, and says she is going to prove that she loves me and will regain my trust.
Everything else about the relationship was great. Now I'm conflicted. Will her effort and remorse fade over time? Is there hope for us or am I cheating myself by staying in this relationship?
TL;DR: | My girlfriend of 6 months admitted to talking to other people during our relationship. She says she is going to prove her love for me. Is there still hope for us or once a cheater always a cheater? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [18/F] with my boyfriend [18/M] 1 year, things were great but he brought up breaking up and now I'm so confused
POST: Hey reddit, so him and I have been together for a year, and for a few months now we have been super serious. He said, many times, that he loves me and wants to be with me, no matter what obstacles come between us. That last bit is important.
We are both going to college soon and our universities are a few hours away. However, he told me months ago that he wanted to do long distance and that we will be fine. I allowed myself to tentatively believe him and was happy, because I really do love him.
A few nights ago, though, he said that we needed to talk. He asked me if I really wanted to do this, and that he didn't know if in the future, I would be happy with him. Now I know that sounds like he is worried about my happiness, but I couldn't help but feel betrayed and shocked. I cried and he apologized, and I ask asked him if he really wanted to stay with me, and he said yes.
However, I am now plagued by the thought that he doesn't love me and that he feels "tied down." I threw up and haven't been happy, and I read into his texts expecting the worst. What should I do? Can things be the same?
TL;DR: | Boyfriend mentioned us splitting despite months of "we will be together and happy," should I take that to mean he doesn't love me? |
SUBREDDIT: r/dating_advice
TITLE: 29/M - Best way to not send a 'Let's be friends vibe' on first meetup with an old schoolmate from OkCupid.
POST: (29M here) Saw a girl on my matches who I went to school with (elementary-high). She is definitely out of my league but we had a 99% match rate and got her number and agreement to meetup after brief messaging. We're set to meet up for happy hour drinks after work tomorrow. I'm fairly inexperienced when it comes to dating and I really like this girl. I know it's gonna go well, we have a lot to catch up on and a lot in common for a good and easy conversation.
But I'm worried that I may give off a vibe of just being friendly with her and this is just a getting drinks with a friend kind of thing. I'm looking for any advice on how to avoid that.
My working plan right now is
* Keep it short - 1-2 hours tops. Order a drink, order some light food, order another drink, leave with a good reason.
* Invite her out later in the week, saying 'I'd love to take you out on an actual date' or something to that effect.
* Probably no kiss unless it's going exceptionally and it would be weird not too. Gametime decision here.
* Definitely not invite her back to my place and be indecisive about making a move.
Things working in my favor
* We met on a dating site, not facebook or a store so hopefully that message is clear.
* I said 'Do you have any plans for tomorrow or can I take you out for a drink?'
* Her messages have been full of smilies and excitement.
Things that have me worried
* Seriously, she's out of my league. Solid 10 and I'm like a 4-7 depending on how you feel about tall guys
* She cancelled on me for tonight. Although she did immediately suggest tomorrow so that's not too bad.
* My general slowness / indecisiveness.
Seriously any advice / insight here would be appreciated. I know I'm over thinking this and need to be relaxed when I see her but still...
TL;DR: | Advice for the best way to not send a 'Let's be friends vibe' on first meetup with an old schoolmate from OkCupid. |
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