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SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: An I overreacting?
POST: My boyfriend (19) and I (18) have been dating for two years almost three. For the most part it's been awesome, with the exception of arguments here and there. To keep long stories short.... Am I overreacting to him calling other girls beautiful on the Internet? And liking girls half naked pictures on social networks? I'm struggling with insecurity issues, and he knows this too. I know, he knows I can see his comments and likes. I just want to know if I should bother being upset, or it's not a threat to our relationship and I can just ignore it.
TL;DR: | I want to know if it's okay that my boyfriend calls other girls on the Internet beautiful, and that he also likes half naked girls pictures on social networks. Is it harmless? Or a small threat to our relationship? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: So I'm [23,M] Breaking Up with My Girlfriend [23, F] of 8+ Years
POST: Welp here it goes.
Before I started college, I had this huge expectation of how my life after college would be. I was expecting to work at a lawfirm, would be healthy and it would be all with my lady friend. We had been neighbors in our home town, grew up together and even started dating at the end of middle school, start of high school, even if we had no clue what dating meant past what we saw on TV.
But as I sit here in a coffee shop, looking at the two couples complaining about Bernie Sanders, I pondered the idea of my relationship being no more. And I had these thoughts, a lot actually. There was the time at Prom where I noticed how attractive the new girl look, there was the time when I had dinner with a project partner, but none as serious as now.
I fell in-love with this girl because she helped me become the person who I was. She got my through a hell-hole that I called my high school and got me to explore the social world of life but as we have gotten older, those times changed. College was supposed to be the greatest experience of my life, which it kind of was, but most of it was from the library talks and coffee house sittings. Our hang-outs with friends turned to her asking if we could stay in and watch Netflix. In fact, throughout all of my four years at college, I went to one party by myself and 'threw a party,' which was really her roommate inviting everyone and us two sitting on a couch eating pizza.
As I began to look back on my college days, I realized how much I missed and I put some of the blame towards her, even if some was also my fault. Now, I have decided to end the relationship that we had for so long and am not sure how I would go about doing so. She was the person who got me through so much but it has just felt like she is holding me back. Any help with this would be appreciated, as I am unexperienced in the worlds of breakups.
TL;DR: | Dated the same girl for almost 9 years, feel that it is time to part ways, have no fucking clue how to do it. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Girl [24F] broke up with boyfriend, I [24M] like her and am at a loss for what to do
POST: A few days ago a few friends of mine invited me if I wanted to go hang out with them. I had to decline because I needed to wake up early. A few minutes after this conversation I got a text message from one of my friends [24F] texts me jokingly annoyed that I am not coming.
I honestly don't remember how it happened but she ended up telling me that she and her boyfriend of 3 years broke up about a week ago and was sort of pooring her heart out (her words) to me about it. I did the normal thing of saying sorry and telling her everything will be okay. The things you do to try and make a person feel better.
I have been texting her a bit over the past couple of days just kind of casually talking and joking, mostly just trying to distract her from being upset. Past that I don't know how to move forward with her. I've known her for a few years and have wanted to spend more time with her for a while was never able to because she has always had a boyfriend.
TL;DR: | What should I do to further console a girl a who broke up with her boyfriend and show that I like her and want to have a relationship with her? |
SUBREDDIT: r/legaladvice
TITLE: (Colorado) Lost title help
POST: Hello,
Looking to buy a 1953 Plymouth car. Problem is that is has no title, and no way of it being found. The car is on the sellers property that he inherited from his father. I wanted to do a VIN check on it, but the local PD told me to do so I would need the title. I'm pretty sure its safe to say it is not stolen. I did an online VIN check, and I understand this is not full proof, but it came up clean.
My question is if I purchase this how might I go about obtaining a title for the vehicle and have it in my name. There would of course be a bill of sale. Just not sure where to go from there to obtain a title on a car so old that the title does not exist anymore. Any and all advice/help is much appreciated.
TL;DR: | Buying old car no title, want to get a new title for it in my name so I legally am the owner of the car. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I'm [26F] currently going on dates with a guy[31M] and I have for about 2 months now and he keeps sleeping at my house...
POST: We see each other a few times a week and he's a really nice guy. I'm enjoying having someone to go out and do stuff, have sex with, cuddle up with and watch a movie etc.
I'm not actively seeing anyone else because I'm busy. I'm not sure about him but I really don't care if he is or not since we use protection.
The problem: Every single time we have sex, he seems to take it as an invitation to sleep at my house. The whole night I'm horribly uncomfortable while trying going to sleep next to him, not to mention the next morning. I sleep like shit because I keep waking up and desperately want to just go sleep on the couch (but I don't want to hurt his feelings). I really wish he would just leave after sex, but how do I ask him to do that delicately? (or at least sleep on the couch if he's too intoxicated or it's really late or something).
I feel like a bitch for even complaining about a nice guy who's interested enough in me to want to stay the night with me, but I also don't think it's too crazy to not want to regularly wake up next to a guy I'm just casually dating.
TL;DR: | Guy I'm dating sleeps at my house and I'd rather him not and I don't know how to approach the situation delicately. |
SUBREDDIT: r/dating_advice
TITLE: Need serious advice, how to go for a home run
POST: So I'm a 27m dating a 27f, I've been going out with this girl I met from an online dating website (criticisms aside please). I'm naturally a shy guy ( but I try hard to combat this ) and have been in 2 relationships before that went all the way but one major difference is my past 2 relationships have all been with girls who are really into me ( meaning I didn't have to try very hard ) so I guess I'm a little inexperienced when dealing with girls who don't make their intentions completely known.
Anyways back to the issues at hand, things have been going okay between me and her and we recently went on our 6th date when she asked me to her place to make me dinner. Afterwards we saw a movie and I knew it was time to make my move but we were both sitting at awkward slouch angles so I had to just settle for wrapping my arm around her. She responded positively but I couldn't really lean in to give her a kiss or anything. Eventually so much time had passed she let me know she had to get up early to work and I excused myself with a goodbye kiss.
My question basically is, how do I seal the deal with this girl? How do I let her know I want to go all the way and feel that things are going too slow? I normally do not feel this awkward but this girl has a really good poker face and it's hard to read whether or not she would be down. Am I going about this wrong? Should I not even be going for a home run on our 6th date? I have no frame of reference...please help, Oh and unfortunately for me she doesn't drink at all :-/
TL;DR: | I want to sleep with this girl but can't deduce whether or not she wants it and also cannot find an angle to even approach the matter. Should I even be considering sleeping with her on our 6th date out? |
SUBREDDIT: r/legaladvice
TITLE: CA- Injured at work, boss won't pay the bills, hospital is sending me the bills. What legal discourse do I have?
POST: I am a dog groomer and I was bitten by a dog at work. I finished my work day and went to the doctor the next day. I made it clear that the injury happened at work and the ladies behind the desk at the doctor's office said they wouldn't treat me without workers comp paperwork. I called my boss and his wife had just been involved in a car accident so I was told, "Go to the hospital, not urgent care, and have them bill me."
So I did. I was treated and went about my day. This was February of this year.
I started getting bills in the mail and have talked to no less than 10 people explaining the situation. My name is on the account because I was the patient.
My (now former) boss has told me in emails and texts that he has sent payments and that I will no longer be receiving bills. He has told me that "They (the hospital collection agency) are wrong, I've been sending money." I received a phone call last week and a paper bill today.
I spoke to a very unhelpful woman today who told me the hospital bill is going to collections on November 5th. She told me that since the workers comp insurance isn't paying that I, as the patient, am responsible for the entire bill. I live under the poverty level and a $950 bill will be devastating to me financially.
TL;DR: | Injured at work while covered by workers comp insurance, boss isn't paying the bill and the hospital is saying I'm responsible. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [17F] had a house party recently and someone broke my brothers [15M] necklace he is extremely upset and won't talk to me.
POST: Saturday night was my best friends birthday and because my house is bigger than hers she asked if the party could take place here. So I spoke to mom and dad about it and they agreed.
My brother was helping me set up the party, he did all the heavy lifting. My brother almost all ways wears this necklace, the necklace that our grandpa left to him when he died. The necklace is basically a gold chain with a painted black shark tooth. He only takes it off to go shower and leave it hanging on his bed frame.
My brother was not attending the party, he had a date. He had asked this girl out and she said yes. He was taking her out to see the darkness I think or Captain America then the two were going out to eat.
In the excitement of it he forgot to put his necklace on. I think they had a good time, they spoke for long period of time on the phone today.
Last night the party was fun and my friend had a good time. When my brother got home he went up to his room. He stayed there until everyone went home. I was sitting in my room later on. He walked in and he tossed his necklace on the bed. The tooth was completely broken, he looked at me and said " who did it". I told him I did not know and he said " Well you better find out real fucking quick, I want to know who came upstairs and I want to know by Monday"
He has not spoken to me since, he is furious and he has 'forbidden'me having any friends over or he will make their life a living hell until he knows the guilty party.
I just don't know what to do, mom and dad are going to Cleveland tomorrow and are leaving me here with him. He is so angry and I don't know what to do.
TL;DR: | Someone broke my brothers angry and he is furious. He has told me to find the guilty party. He has threatened to make my friends life a living hell, if any of them come over before I find the guilty party. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: I'm 23/m do not know what to do with my girl 20/F
POST: 23/m my girlfriend 20/m and I are going through a rough stage/episode right now. It's def all my fault but I am trying to fix this and at this point I don't even know if its worth it for a few reasons. Let me start off by saying I kissed another girl about 9 months ago and told one friend, lets call him Steve. Steve and my girlfriend become friends. I felt so awful about kissing the other girl and I told Steve that. Steve was like don't worry about it, it was just a kiss, don't tell her. I didn't tell her, but I still felt bad. About 2 weeks ago Steve tells her that I cheated. I own up and tell her everything that happened and that I haven't contacted her since and that I regretted it. We have a semi long distance relationship, we are about two hours away from each other. I text Steve asking him if he told my girlfriend about what happened. He declines, which is BS because he is the only person I told. She ends up telling her parents which is why I'm hesitant in the first place to try and make things work. I found out today that she masturbated with Steve over Skype last night - They don't know that I know this. I text Steve asking "are we cool. He replies really fast saying if this is about your girl then I don't want to be a part of it, it's awkward to be in the middle of it, and that he doesn't want to be the bridge between my girl and I and he doesn't feel like doing any favors. I replied saying "I just wanted to know if we're cool. Did something happen?" He say "Yeah everything is cool. What's up?" Steve is in a relationship and I'm pretty sure his girlfriend doesn't know what happened. I def considered telling his girlfriend but I'm not going to do that. Am I over thinking everything or just move on and stop trying? We just crossed over the 3 year mark. A lot of things have happened since we've been together. I completed my undergrad, and started working the 9 to 5 corporate life. She is a sophomore in college.
TL;DR: | Friend advised not to tell girlfriend about kissing another girl, he did. Girlfriend masturbated over skype with friend and told her parents I cheated on her. Should I keep trying or just move on? |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Trying to settle on a college major, worried I'm behind in math. Can I get an opinion?
POST: I've always been ahead in math up until sophomore year when I passed Algebra II but didn't get a good enough grade to move on to Trig/Finite.
Instead of taking the class over again for no credit I side tracked to a computer math class Junior year and took no math Senior year.
I don't really have difficulty with math, more so tests. I have terrific work ethic but my Algebra II teacher didn't grade or give credit for homework so the only grades were from tests..
One of the degrees I'm thinking of is Computer Science which I hear is math intensive with plenty of Calculus. I'm nervous about how far behind I might be.
Also if it's relevant I scored a 580 on my math SAT's
TL;DR: | Last math class I had was Algebra II Sophomore year HS. I have concerns about being behind entering as a freshman in college. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My [28M] girlfriend of three years [F26] is lying.
POST: Working long hours leads to a disconnect I guess. I thought things were going well, we're both ambitious and working towards our goals. We have our disagreements like any healthy couple but for the most part I thought things were fine. Over this weekend she left to visit family and lied to her parents so she could go to a bar 30 minutes (each direction) away, to meet friends.
I didn't feel comfortable with her driving at night, after a few beers and on a holiday weekend. We both said a few things on the phone, and i'll admit I was a bit jealous as I haven't been home since December. The thing is, she had apparently messaged a guy (newly single) she used to have a fling for the night she first got into town, and swapped numbers / agreed to meet up.
Every time she goes home she goes home we barely talk, i'm lucky to get a one word answer and yet she can talk to this guy. When she comes back she's always off, for a few days at a time. I just don't understand why she would lie about going to meet up with him if there is nothing shady. I wouldn't have been happy with it but I wouldn't have tried to tell her what to do, other than actual safety.
I mean if I went home and chatted up some girl I used to make out with and flirt with. Actively sought to talk to her and arrange a time to chat, while hiding it. I'm pretty sure most of you would agree that wouldn't work out well for me.
TL;DR: | Girlfriend of three years secretely meets a guy she used to have a fling with in a bar, and hides it. Then disappears and won't return my text until two hours later saying she's safe. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [27] forgave my fiancé [27] for the second time for sexting. What should I do to build a strong relationship from now on?
POST: Approximately one month ago I found out that my fiancé was exchanging explicit messages and pictures with someone on craigslist. After three sessions of couple therapy and constructive conversations I am assured that he's genuinely sorry. Even though I was furious at first, after some time and seeing his efforts I decided to move on and give him a third chance.
I didn't tell any of my friends or family about this issue because I know how one sided and too opinionated people can be when it's their loved ones. I want to get some suggestions from redditors since you can have a better or different perspective on relationships.
Please keep in mind I already choose to forgive him. What I want to learn is how to build a healthy relationship and avoid further possible discussions between me an my fiancé. You can send me a PM if you want to ask for further details.
TL;DR: | I consciously forgave my fiancé who was sexting online. I want to learn is how to build a healthy relationship and avoid further possible discussions between me an my fiancé. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My [18 M] long distance relationship with my Girlfriend [18 F] of 2 months, she's thinking of ending it and I don't know what to do.
POST: Me and my girlfriend get along insanely well, we were best friends turned couple after a long time of her liking me and me being clueless, then before we left for Uni by about 2 weeks I realised how much I was going to miss her, so I told her and we got together. I should mention that we're trying to be open, rational and honest with each other, we usually work through problems so fast and easy, but this one I don't think can be fixed with a "I'm so sorry, that's not what I intended I'll work to fix it."
Then we went to University, we're about an hour apart but very very busy. It's hard to find time when we're both doing huge courses that take up almost all of the week and a lot of the weekend. We text often and skype a lot but we're both dealing with different stresses and we've gotten snarky and sarcastic with one-another and not in the fun way. This got to her as about a week ago she mentioned how close she was to us breaking up and how she was fed up of being nervous and sad whenever we're not together.
Also worth mentioning is that we struggle intimacy. We kiss fine but we've never made-out (not for lack of trying on my part) and we don't know what to do, she says this played a part in her current feeling.
We're still madly in love and we both don't want this to end, but while I'm dealing with the flatmates from hell and a huge workload and she's dealing with an even bigger workload we're just not as happy as we are when we're together.
We're both making a tonne of time for one another now, squeezing in whatever time we can because in person we get along just as well as when we got together and before that when we were best friends, but we don't know how to both enjoy our time together and survive our time apart. I don't want us being stressed and grumpy to ruin what a good thing this is. What can I do to save us?
I may have missed little things out, but that's the general gist of it.
TL;DR: | Girlfriend of two months is getting cold feet because of a few problems such as lack of intimacy, grumpiness due to stress and generally not being able to make enough time for one another, how do I save this? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [21 M] drunkly hit my girlfriend[21 F] of 9 months, am not sure what to do next.
POST: Let me start by saying, I HAVE NEVER HIT A WOMAN. I
GREW UP LEARNING THAT MEN WHO BEAT WOMEN ARE
WEAK AND DONT DESERVE TO EVER BE LOVED BY ONE.
Ill be brief. Last Friday, I got very drunk. I have been told
I am an angry drunk, but never hit anybody. I have no
clue why I did what I did, and I cannot stop thinking
about how I hurt her, especial after constantly saying I
would never do anything like that. We have spoken since
then I have apologize, as I will continue to do for as long
as needed, we "broke up" for a few hours but i begged
her not to end things with. I do know I was completely
wrong and I feel like shit because of it, Im not sure I can
forgive my self and honestly I don't think she should
either. I think she should have broken up with me and
never want to talk to me again but I am glad she did not
do so(at least not yet). I have chosen to stop drinking
and do anything necessary to ensure our relationship
continues. Im just not too sure what that consist of.
TL;DR: | got drunk, hit my girlfriend, i'm going to quit drinking alcoholic beverages, I want to know what can I do to fix what I fucked up. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: How do I [24f] let this guy [26M] know I want to see him again without implying I'm looking for a relationship?
POST: Hey everyone,
So I have sporadically hooked up with a mutual friend over the past year. Neither of us ever makes great effort to get together but rather sometimes find ourselves with each other if we run into each other at a party or something.
Last weekend we hooked up but this time it was different, it felt like we were a lot more intimate (in an emotional way). I kind of want to make this a more regular thing but I'm not really interested in trying to have a formal relationship.
What would be a good thing to say to see if he's interested, without coming off like I'm trying to make a relationship a possibility?
TL;DR: | How do I let a sporadic hookup know I want to make it a more regular thing without coming off like I want a relationship? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My [19M] FWB [18F] hooked up with my best friend [19M] at a party. Unsure of how to feel.
POST: I've been casually seeing a girl for two months now. We've both admitted that we really like and care about each other, but don't want a relationship in our lives right now.
Three nights ago, she and my best friend hooked up at a party. She also gave him her number. While I'm okay with her hooking up with other people (I do the same), I'm incredibly upset right now and don't know what to do. They claim that they didn't remember who the other person was (they met once for 5 minutes before this).
I know I don't have a right to be angry, but that doesn't stop the fact that I'm very upset about this whole thing. I don't know how I could ever be in the same room with both of them again. Whenever I see my best friend, I always think about him kissing this girl. She slept over two nights ago and I couldn't fall asleep or feel intimate because of this.
Is there any way for me to get over this, or should I call the relationship for good?
TL;DR: | My best friend kissed a girl I've been seeing casually for a while now, trying to put this past me but not sure how. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I'm [F,21] jealous and territorial of my boyfriends [M,24] ex-girlfriend, who's still really involved in his life. How can I get over this?
POST: My boyfriend [M,24] and I [F,21] met back around spring of this year and started officially dating in April. He'd only broken up with his girlfriend of one year a couple months before in the winter, and I knew he still talked to her once in a while but I didn't know to what extent. This past spring & summer as we became closer I realized that she was still considered one of his friends, which was alright at first, but I soon realized it wasn't just a once-a-month thing.
He has a large group of close-knit friends and when they started dating they became good friends with her as well. Even after the breakup she remained good friends with all of them, so whenever he hangs out with them there's a 99% she's there as well. She's a constant in his life, and all of his friends absolutely love her. She's apart of their inner circle, and it's really obvious I haven't been accepted into it yet.
On top of that she still talks to his family and (in all honesty) she is much more attractive than I am. I feel inadequate knowing she's still around so much and that the people he's close to seem to like her much more too. I'm ridiculously jealous of her and disgusted with myself for it, but I can't help it.
And I feel like these feelings of falling short to her are going to cause big problems sooner or later. They're already causing some smaller issues. So I want to stop them as soon as possible.
Any help Reddit for a downtrodden, jealous girlfriend? :(
TL;DR: | My boyfriend has an ex-girlfriend who's still involved in his life, beloved by his friends and family & I feel like I just can't compete. How can I beat down this jealousy I have before it starts ruining our relationship? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [25M] just officially ended it by blocking my [30M] boyfriend of one year from all possible ways of contacting me. Feel like I'm going to have a panic attack.
POST: After cheating on me multiple times, sometimes in front of my face when he thought I was not looking, and using the "we are just seeing each other [indefinitely]" excuse, I told him I had enough and blocked him from everywhere. Calls, facebook, everything.
I never want to see him again. The pain is too much and I know he will never change. The next step is deleting all photos of him but I'm not strong enough to look at them yet. I don't know what to do to take my mind off it. I'm trying to browse reddit but I can't focus on anything. Having a major panic at the realisation that it's finally over and I need to find a new life.
TL;DR: | finally broke it off from a cheating boyfriend, blocked him from everywhere. Don't know what to do now. Feel like my life is empty and I'm panicking. |
SUBREDDIT: r/Advice
TITLE: Fender bender dilemma. Advice needed.
POST: I need some advice on what to do with the following situation. I was parked in a parking lot when this guy backed into my rear bumper and drove off. I signaled him down and got his attention. He pulled to the side and I showed him the damage to my bumper. He would pay for the damages instead of getting insurance involved. I got his license information and his business card. I then went to get three estimates on the damage done, each with about the same repair costs. To this day I've called him countless times and only got a hold of him twice when I used a different number from mine. Our most recent conversation said that the estimates I was giving him were too high and does not think he should pay for them. My question is what do I do? Is it too late to file a police report? The accident happend in November. Should I go to the address listed on his license and confront him? I feel stupid for not getting his insurance information and believing that he would follow through with paying for the damages. Any advice will help
TL;DR: | This guy backed into my car in November, he said he would pay for the damages if we kept the insurance out of this, and now is ignoring my calls. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: College hookup/friends with benefits (18f)
POST: long story short (ish): i (freshman) became study buddies with this guy (sophomore) and then we started to hook up. i don't think i like him enough to be a boyfriend, but this is my first hook-up situation and i'm pretty attached (think about him a lot). usually how it happens is that we study together then have a meal then hook up or just hook up on the weekends. is it weird for a girl to initiate a hookup if we're not officially friends with benefits? i haven't hooked up with him in a while and...college students are horny...but should i stop seeing him if I'm getting too attached?
TL;DR: | we're friends with benefits but not officially, and i feel awkward initiating a hookup. i'm kind of attached to him and don't know how not to be/whether i should stop seeing him |
SUBREDDIT: r/legaladvice
TITLE: Virginia, USA - Daughter's classmate living with us since June 2015 - It's complicated - Need advice
POST: Our daughter's friend is 14 yrs old, not a U.S. citizen (born in Germany), and she comes from a poor family (2 parent home with 6 kids) with a mother who abuses prescription medication and alcohol. She has lived in the U.S. for 9 years but the mother has not followed through with the steps to get her (or her 15 yr old sister) U.S. citizenship. She has been living with us (95% of the time) since last June and has no desire to go back home. Tonight her older sister was physically assaulted by the mother and taken out of the home by a step-grandparent.
We have questions:
1) For the near-term, how do we go about getting guardianship so we can do things like take her to the doctor, dentist, sign permission slips at school, etc.?
2) For the long term, who can help us get her on the path to citizenship? The mother will not allow us (or the kids) to see or have access to the records (passport, birth certificate, temporary green card, etc.) needed to pursue citizenship. Is there anything we can do on her behalf?
3) Is there anything more formal (other than getting guardianship) that is recommended to make this seem less like a really long sleepover?
TL;DR: | Daughter's illegal German schoolmate has been living with us for a long time and needs citizenship and a responsible legal guardian. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: How do I [20M] deal with dependence towards my SO [19F]?
POST: Short introduction. My girlfriend and I started dating in February and everything was amazing. It is the best relationship we ever had, we love each other, we open ourselves to each other as we had never done before and the relationship is perfect.
The problem begins when finals started. We couldn't see us and I begin to act as an extremely dependent person. I've never been so in relationships, and in that situation, coupled with more problems (family, studies ...) we decide to take a break to see if everything is alright again.
We both want to be with the other person, but neither she nor I want that to happen if we are not comfortable and well. I have never been in this situation of dependence and I'm not sure what I should do to fix it. I really want this to go well.
For now, I'm trying to focus on my remaining tests and do things for me (sports, guitar, writing and other hobbies), but I don't know what I can do to take away that feeling that keeps me from being naturally and not dependent.
Any advice?
TL;DR: | I've never had dependency on someone, but now it's happening and that prevents me to have a healthy relationship with the girl I want to be. How do I fix this? |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Hey Reddit! Wanna help a local school have to Pep-rally of a lifetime? Vote TEAM 2 (North Cobb High School) for Team of The Week. It would mean a lot to the students as they would never normally get such a privilege.
POST: The local school is in a lower income area with high minority percentages. They just managed to beat the #2 team in the state. So far, another school in a much wealthier portion of the city is using it's wealth as power to get large groups of people to vote for it. The kids would love to have the opportunity to have something as nice as this pep-rally along with some monetary support from the news station.
You can vote unlimited, online at High5sports.com under team of the week.
- (Not sure how well that link works)
You can also text "TEAM 2" to 58015 3 times every hour.
Again the Students would love to have this opportunity but they need your help!
*I'm not sure if this is the right subreddit but I didn't know where else to put it. Let me know if there is a better area.
TL;DR: | Vote TEAM 2 on high5sports.com for team of the week. Text 58015 TEAM 2 3 times an hour. Thank you for the support! |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: What are some good ways to move on from an old relationship?
POST: There's this girl that I had a short relationship with right after a breakup (dated a girl for 4.5 years). We started things too soon, as I was not over my ex and the drama that was involved in having a new relationship while closing the old one became too much. Obviously the relationship went sour, but due to circumstances, I have to be around her more than I'd like (which would be never). Now whenever we are in the same room, I am not able to simply "be cool/friends" with her, as there are just too many feels involved. Is there a way to get over a girl you have to be around a lot, legitimately, other than the normal response of, "whatever dude, f@#& that chick, she's a *blank," because that's what got me into the mess to begin with?
TL;DR: | What are some legitimate ways to get over a girl you've had a relationship with but you are not able to physically separate yourself from the other person? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: [21 M] with my SO [20 F] ~3 years. Wanted to kick me out, now acts as if it never happened. Is it time to leave?
POST: First post, sorry if it sucks!
My SO and I have been together for nearly three years now and up until recently, things were going great! We became best friends soon after we met and both of us have very few close friends, causing us to spend almost all of our time together. We moved in together after dating for a few months and got engaged after about two years.
While we often had small fights, our relationship would always bounce back stronger than before. She would often state discontent that we weren't making any progress on getting married, despite our agreement to push more for different housing than a wedding. She also insisted that I re-propose to her in a more romantic manner, but every time I tried, our plans did not allow it.
After a tough semester in college, issues at both of our jobs, and almost no time being spent together, we became bitter towards each other on a regular basis. One night after waiting up for her to come home, she texts me out of the blue demanding that I leave our apartment. Her reasoning was that she didn't need me or anything or anyone involving me. We fought for hours into the night and ended up sleeping in separate rooms despite her attempts to get me into the same bed.
The next day, I had made plans to move my stuff out after work. Instead, she insisted that we talk it out. We talked and decided to try to just stick together for a few more weeks and see things got better. Put simply, they did not. Despite her apologies, attempts at being cute, and constant "I love you"s, I just can't get over her trying to kick me out rather than work things out. I feel guilty, but I don't think I really love her anymore. Am I being selfish?
TL;DR: | SO wanted to kick me out, then insisted that I stay. Now she acts as if everything is normal. I'm not sure if I can forgive her and love her again. Advice??? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My [22M] girlfriend [19F] told me to sleep with an escort/prostitute
POST: Background: Me and my girlfriend have been together now for about 3 years and we both are working full time
My issue is this:
My girlfriend has become very busy recently, she goes to college during the day and has recently got a hob at a bar which means she is working on evening and weekends. I have finished my education, so I am only working. I am very proud of all the hard work she is putting in. However I do feel very unsatisfied as of late because we never seem to see one another. We don't live together and most of the time she would come and stay at my house, but now with her timetable packed she barely time for me.
I am really trying not to be selfish an put aside this dissatisfaction in order to support her . I have also supported her financially while she has been in college. However now this feeling of dissatisfaction doesn't seem to leave me. Recently, she has been feeling uncomfortable in regards to being physically intimate with me as well because of personal reasons. I have spoken to her about the reasons and have really done my best to help her feel more comfortable but no real improvements has been made in the last 3 or so months.
She knows I love being physically intimate and she tells me that she feels guilty about not making me happy. As a solution to this she has suggested a few times for me to sleep with an escort/prostitute. This is a disgusting idea, that I am not even considering. Especially because I could never suggest such a thing to her because the idea of her with someone else angers me.I really don't think its a normal thing to suggest such a thing, and I am very disappointed because from my point of view she doesn't realize that I only want to be intimate with her.
TL;DR: | How should I react to her suggesting me to sleep with someone else? Especially an escort? Its disgusting and I don't know how to react. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [22 F] can't trust my boyfriend[25 M] of almost 2 years, because he's hidden flirty messages from me before?!!
POST: Basically my boyfriend has hid things from me before, mainly messages from girls flirting and telling him they want to have sex with him etc. (He had never flirted back really) and only actually told them to stop when I found out in the end. We broke up for 3 months and are now dating again, its been 4 months (we were previously dating for a year and a half) and once again I found messages of a girl flirting, only this time he was flirting back. I confronted him and he stopped...
Or so I thought. Turns out not long after, he created a Tinder account to meet friends who he set to just females. When I found out I asked him why he doesn't search for male friends on there too (since it was all innocent right) and he said males adding males is weird generally. So I threw a bitch fit because meeting friends on Tinder is pretty innopropriate, especially since its used for dating and those girls are there for a reason, and he deleted it. BUT not before adding a couple of girls to Facebook and giving out his cell number.
I saw his text message to one of them and he wrote something on the lines of "I'm always happy to open my text messages and see that its you who texted me :)". Kind of bothered me but I moved past it until he put a lock on his phone today. I can't bring myself to trust him knowing that he's hid flirty messages from me before and has flirted, and now his phone is locked so he can be saying anything. If I ask him why hell say he's entitled to lock it, but is that really the case when you've flirted and hid things from the person you love?
I need opinions, am I being jealous or do I have the right to feel upset and distrustful? Someone help me out, I'm going crazy thinking about this!
TL;DR: | Boyfriend plays hide and seek with flirty messages, don't know if I'm a jealous over dramatic girlfriend or if I have the right to be upset and distrustful. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: (24/m) Girl I'm dating (22/f) is acting strangely after dates, what are the causes of such behavior?
POST: I've known this girl for a couple of years now. When we first met, there was obvious mutual interest. We kind of had seperate lives though, different friends and different universities, so it was always kind of hard to get a hold of each other.
Most of our communication happens through texting and messageing on facebook. We don't have anything real going on, just the occasional flirting through said mediums. I date other girls, and I don't really know about her, but there is still interest between us and it goes up and down, kind of like a sinusoidal graph, which isn't weird because we almost never manage to meet up, and interest doesn't keep steady if you don't see each other from time to time.
We do manage to meet up every once and a while, but the weird thing is, after every date, she doesn't seem interested at all, and gives me the silent treatment for some time (I won't contact first).. This kind of prevents us to get things going. After a while she starts contacting me again, as usual, and we get back at contacting each other through facebook and text, until we meet again after a couple of months.
This kind of behavior of a girl never occured to me before. I've been turned down a couple of times, that's not really a problem, I can take that, but this is quite odd. Could it be that she has some idealised image of me in her head when we are texting, which vanishes as we meet up irl? I have no clue, maybe you guys do?
TL;DR: | Girl I like gives me silent treatment after every date, then contacts me again like nothing happened, all flirty. This repeats itself all the time, what's going on? |
SUBREDDIT: r/personalfinance
TITLE: Hey r/personalfinace, I've gotten myself into quite a pickle and am hoping to get some advice.
POST: So, I have 5 credits cards that are maxed out completely with a low credit limit. Two of them are $500 and the other 3 are $300 totaling the amount I owe to $1,900 and rising. I haven't payed the minimum payment on any of them in a few months,which I know is terrible and the dumbest thing I can do but I am completely broke. I also have a student loan for $4000 and they are telling me i need to begin payments soon. I am also in possession of two vehicles I need to get fixed up immediately. One of the cars belongs to a family friend who has let me borrow it for a few years without hassling me on paying insurance but I would eventually love to give them $2000+ for helping me out when I return the car.
What I really want to do is find a way to take out a loan for $10,000 so I can pay everything off and have one place to pay instead 7. I Want to know if you guys think that is smart idea and if so which bank or place would be the best to seek the loan out? If you think it's silly I would love to know what you would do instead, please.
I just really need to get on track, I feel like i'm stuck in quicksand and sinking fast. I am so so terrible with money and don't know how to begin saving and using it properly. I have always been struggling all my life and am sick of feeling this way, having all my friends wonder if I'll be able to hang in there with them. I want to change and I want a fresh start but don't know how to go about it.
Thanks so much for taking the time to read this! I hope you guys have the time to help me out.
TL;DR: | Maxed out all CC's ($1,900) + $4000 Student loan + 2 cars that need a lot of fixing. Want to take out $10,000 loan. Looking for advice. Thanks! |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Resentful of my (25/m) six-months pregnant wife (26/f) of five months (3 years total), how do I deal?
POST: We've been married five months, together three years. We got coincidentally accidentally pregnant basically when we got married, finding out about the pregnancy a week before the wedding. It was always pretty crystal clear that she would keep an accidental pregnancy, and although baby is ahead of schedule and we initially freaked out about it, we're happy baby's coming.
The pregnancy physically has gone great. Mentally is another issue. She's been alternately clinically anxious or depressed, basically spending her life on the couch and going to work. Her energy is low and she can find the cloud in any silver lining. She hasn't had a libido in the slightest since a month before our wedding, down from a rather constant high.
I'm trying to be supportive. I do all the housework, feed her all the time, listen to all of the complaining. But I've gotten so angry, anger that rises inside me at a moment's notice, a resentfulness that I am entirely unused to. I feel constantly rejected, my needs constantly ignored, my support occasionally recognized. To be clear, I have this anger under control in the sense that I am not directing it outwardly at her, but it colors our relationship and I hate feeling this way. And at the moments when I am able to clear my anger (in meditation or likewise), I just feel profoundly lonely.
I don't know what I expect from posting here, but I need to share with somebody. Nobody in my real life understands what is going on. Even I think I sound whiny -- after all, the cultural narrative is that she's the one going through the pregnancy, she's the one who is struggling. But I am definitely struggling.
TL;DR: | Pregnancy is hard on her, and so hard on me, and I don't know how to deal with my feels. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I[23/F] have just decided to move in with my boyfriend[31/M] there is one problem...
POST: Ok so my[23/f] boyfriend[30/m] and I decided to move in together, all in all we have figured out the details and are excited to do this. We have had issues in the past but together we are in a place to do this.
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Soooooo here enters the problem, I live with my mom [52/f] I have lived with her for about eight months now after I had a rough patch and she helped me out. I'm grateful that she has helped me with watching my son [4/m] but in those month she has no job and will hardly ever leave the house! My sister won't help and my mom won't go to her house anyway. My question is this what do I do!!!! I want to move on with my life and feel like I don't owe her support after eight months of supporting her since she didn't exactly give me the most healthy childhood.
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Also been with my boyfriend for three years broke up for about two months because of unrelated issues to this but have been back together for about a year.
My relationship with my mom has always been difficult if you want to know something about it please ask.
TL;DR: | I wanna move in with my boyfriend but am afraid what is going to happen to my jobless nearly agoraphobic mother is gonna do! |
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU by falling asleep with a cookie in my mouth.
POST: This started last night. I put my kids to sleep and me and the Mrs. stay up drinking wine and wrapping the last gifts to put under the tree in our room. She quickly passes out due to the drinks and i finish up and put all the presents by my door, close it, then get the rest of the house ready for family and friends tomorrow. My kids did the usual milk and cookis for santa so i chocolate that milk up and watch some tv while i devour their treats for santa.
Here is the fuck up.
Because of the wine i pass out accidentally before getting everything done, with the milk half gone on the couch table and a cookie still in my hand, with NO PRESENTS UNDER THE TREE. So naturally my kids wake up bright and early before everyone else, storm down the hall, and i am awoken to cries of "YOU ATE SANTAS COOKIES THERE IS NO PRESENTS HE DIDNT COME HE DOESNT LIKE US NOW!!!"
All i can do now is damage control, trying to convince them santa just couldnt fit in our chimney and left them with the neighbors to make sure we got them. Naturally i tell my awesome neighbors and they go with it, but my oldest doesnt seem fooled for a minute.
TL;DR: | Got lit, then passed out eating santas cookis n shit. Kids feel shunned by santa now. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My[15M] first crush[15F], but she is so "unreachable".
POST: Oke, first of all, we do not have something, so this is probably the wrong subreddit, but I have no idea where else to post it, and I REALLY need advice- I'm desperate as hell.
So, school started this week again. The way our school system works: You have one normal class, and one mentor class. The normal class is who you are going to spend most time in class with, and the mentor class is people who share the same mentor.
The wierd thing is, that, the first day of school- the day our mentor told is what was needed to know, I didn't notice her. I'm not sure whether she was there or not- but lets get to the point.
The second day- she suddenly was there. I hadn't really noticed her before, but during a "meetup" assignment with the mentor class, we had a short talk, and she was really nice. That being said, at first the "crush" feeling really wasn't there. It was the "Hey I like you"-feeling, but not the "Hey I need you"-feeling. That afternoon, it started to develop. It feels really wierd, I am not really sure how to say it. All I know is that I think about her ALOT. And I have ADD, so I probably have never thought about a thing or person longer then I am doing now.
It is friday now, and I am dieing. The real lessons started after wesneday, and I only have 1 hour every week with her- the mentor class talk hour thingy. I am also not really confident and shy, and she comes from another school, she also appears kinda shy. So no way I'll EVER be able to just ask her number or something, really.
The only good thing is that she gives me a hell of a lot motivation, everything I do needs to be perfect now. But that comes with "hate myself when doing something wrong"-feeling.
I'm really desperate, and writing down the story calms me down a bit, but I really, really need advice.
TL;DR: | I fell desperately in love with a girl during the introduction, but I appear to have only 1 hour every week in class with her and I'm dying to see her again. What do I do? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Boyfriend and I broke up- we're remaining optimistic for the future
POST: My boyfriend and I have been together for alllllllllllmost 2 years. Things got serious with us, we WERE planning on moving in, talked about marriage. (Early 20s)
We broke up on Thursday.
We broke up because we got to a point in our lives where we'd just fight and fiight. I'm very ashamed to say this but I cheated on him in the very beginning of our relationship, and a week ago- because of all the fighting- i sent nudes to one of my guy friends. (Also, very ashamed to say)
We talked yesterday, he said he in GENERAL apparently has issues of trusting people. I fueled that inability for him to trust me, but I should back up and say that in the beginning of our relationship we both got curious and started just casually checking each others phones (yes, i know. HORRIBLE and it shouldn't have happened). It got to the point where occasionally he would go through my phone/ facebook.
I told him that when the time was right, I was willing to show him that I could be trusted again.
So today, we decided to talk and get closure. The talk went extremely well, and we both agreed that this was the best choice for us not to remain together. We needed to work on us and try to heal from this. We also said we didn't want each other out of the others lives, and we both wanted to be friends. We even talked about if and only if we're ready to see if this could happen, we'd be for it again, and doing the RIGHT thing this time.
Question is: is that TOO optimistic?
TL;DR: | boyfriend and I broke up, in a 2 year relationship. Closure was wonderful, we agreed to remain friends, and even date when the time is right- too soon? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [22 M] with my GF [21 F] of 7 months, our relationship lacks intimacy and I am unsure how to address it
POST: My girlfriend Alexis is a huge introvert. I've really enjoyed the time that I spend with her but I'm always the one to initiate everything. While this can be a bit aggravating I'm a bit of an introvert myself so I understand where she's coming from and when we do actually do things together I have a lot of fun so I don't consider that to be much of a problem. However, I am not happy with the level of intimacy in our relationship.
When we first started dating I attempted to initiate sex a few times and ultimately got rejected with her saying that she wasn't comfortable with that. Since then I've learned that this is her first 'serious' relationship and that she's a virgin. I've done my best to be respectful and the most intimate we get is some kissing and I stay over at her place frequently but nothing more. While I am happy to wait until she is comfortable, how do I bring up the topic without it feeling like I'm pressuring her?
TL;DR: | Want to be more intimate with my gf, but not sure if she's ready - she's very introverted/shy so it's unlikely that she'll bring up the topic herself. How do I approach this? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [24 M] with my GF [25 F] Known each other for 10ish years dating for 1 and living together for 1 month. GF is generalizing me being nice only cause I want sex. What do I do?
POST: My GF has been generalizing things like I am only nice when I want sex and it sucks to be thought of like that from her.
I am the one who initiates sex in our relationship, so do I just stop for a while and focus on being nice and intimate with her?
She is mad and said she doesn't want to talk to me about it. This isn't the first time she has shut me out but this one hurts more.
We have known each other since grade school and I have always had this feeling that she is the one for me.
I know this is everywhere but I could use some advice. I can give more information later as I am running out of the house right now.
TL;DR: | GF is generalizing saying I am only nice and rub her back/feet etc. when I want sex when it isn't always like that. She is mad and won't talk about it with me. What should I do? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: Me [24M] with my GF [23F] of 2 years, I want to break up but her birthday is in two weeks
POST: For a little while now I've been struggling to myself about whether or not to end it with my gf. I thought it might be fixable but the fixable problems don't matter nearly as much as the ones that I don't think can be fixed. I know I want to break up with her, she thinks we're going to get married one day, have kids, move somewhere nice, the works. I don't see that happening anymore, so I need to end it.
Her birthday is in two weeks and I promised her a daytrip. I don't want her to have a depressing birthday alone, she doesn't really seem to have a lot of friends and I know how bad she wants this daytrip, but I don't want her to look back thinking I was faking my way through it with her. I still enjoy being with her so I'm sure I could have a good time but it just feels dishonest.
The longer I wait the closer it gets to her birthday the harder it's going to be for me to do this, I don't wanna taint her birthday with a memory of a break up. If I do the daytrip how long after should I wait to do it, it seems just as bad to break up a week after vs a week before. I care about her but I don't want to wait a month+ and then break up, then live there for two weeks while I move out, etc.
TL;DR: | I have decided to break up with my girlfriend. Her birthday is coming up, do I break up before it or after? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [23 M] with my co-habitating girlfriend [26 F] of two years, who handles emotions poorly
POST: First of all, my girlfriend is awesome when she's in a good mood. She's playful and one of the nicest people I know. However, when she's sad or upset she closes off. A day later and she is fine. Now, I've talked with her time and again when she was both happy and sad about how she closes off.
I have a pretty short temper I've worked on all my life. A typical day where she is feeling upset involves several hours of me trying to figure out what is wrong followed by me figuring it out. It really upsets me when she's in a bad mood because she wants me to be near her to cheer her up, but won't show me affection. To be clear, she wants me to hug her and she wants to tell me to go away, but doesn't want me to actually go away. This pisses me off because I don't like being told to go away, so I want to leave or I'm going to get upset and raise my voice eventually.
I've mentioned trying to either get couples counselling or have her talk with a therapist about emotions but she wasn't open to the idea. Whenever we get into an argument, she says she'll try and work on it, but I see no progress. She says I'm too sensitive, which I feel is a misdirection to what I feel are legitimate concerns.
TL;DR: | Girlfriend closes down when dealing with emotions. Should I insist on professional intervention, stop being a wimp about it, or some other course of action? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: How do I(21M) stop obsessively thinking over and assuming the worst with everything I do with women?
POST: I'm a 21 year old male. I've been with probably 10-12 girls in my entire life, only 2 of them turning into any kind of lasting relationship. One girl (1 year relationship) left me for someone else, and another went from being all about me to not wanting anything to do with me(4 month relationship).
I've been seeing another girl (19) for about 2 weeks now. She asked me for my number, asked me out for a solid date, and seems quite interested in me. I went to a concert with her, and took her to the movies twice. It's been about 2 days now since there has been any type of communication between us. I feel like she is finding excuses not to hang out with me, even though she has legitimate reasons not to.
God I feel stupid even writing this out, because i know how crazy I sound. Even though there is literally no reason why I should be worried about where our relationship is going, I still feel like she has already lost interest and my mind races constantly about possible reasons why. It's like the urge for a cigarette, my mind won't stop until i get the cigarette, or in this case, until I get a solid answer from her or someone else. I know that I'll seem utterly insane if two weeks into us seeing each other that I'm wondering whats going on, so I'm not going to do that.
I just feel like I somehow fucked up, somewhere i said the wrong thing, or pulled the wrong move. Please, if you have any insight I would love to hear it, positive or negative. Maybe I'm immature, maybe I'm unstable, maybe I'm something else. I dont know what else to say, hopefully one of you will be able to help me along and to stop me from self destructing this relationship before it becomes anything meaningful. I really like this girl, but I just feel an urgent sense of denial from her when in reality I've really done nothing wrong.
TL;DR: | I'm assuming the worst about a situation that doesn't call for it. Maybe I've been jaded by past relationships, I really don't know |
SUBREDDIT: r/Advice
TITLE: Would you cut your Travels short for the one you love?
POST: I'm working abroad in Australia and I have someone I care about back in the states.
My original plan was to stay 6 months but then I decided to stay one year before I met someone.
I told myself I would never let anyone, not even the one I love, to affect my choices in life because in the end, all you got is yourself to rely on.
weve talked and I told her I wanted to extend my visa and stay another year. She's obviously not happy about it because if I care about her, wouldn't I want to come back sooner to see her?
But the way I think is that time is just time and a lot can change but if we really care about each other, it shouldn't matter.
I'm busy living my life and she's busy living hers and as long as we talk, i think that's totally fine.
The thing is, she's going to film school in Europe in the fall so even if I did come back in a year, she wouldn't be there.
I'll be in New Zealand by then when she's in Europe and I don't see this working out unless I make the sarcifice of going home early and cutting my trip short because I'll be going back to school in the state anyways.
I know we will meet other people by then because we are both attractive and amazing but I'm willing to make this work. I already have been but I would tell them I have someone back home I care about and I'm only looking for friends. Because of that, I don't have a lot of friends because they always wanted something more.
What would you do? Choose you or the one you care about?
TL;DR: | I'm in australia, girl I care about is in states and isn't happy I'm extending my visa to stay another year, what would you do? Think about yourself or think about both of your future? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Complicated Tough Relationship.
POST: Me and girl both 18, abusive father, 1 year relationship, best friends for 3 years before.
This girl that i have fallen for beyond a doubt, recently broke up with me. This is not the first time we have broken up, and I'm confused as to what I should do.
I'm completely a wreck (first reddit post lmao, karma irl please) not crying but just so depressed, I want her back, but I'm unsure if it's the right thing to do for me, her, both of us. I've helped her so many problems with her father and she's helped me with mine. We're both so attached I don't really know what to do.
We're both people that don't really get attached and, before me she'd never had a boyfriend. She broke up with me because as she's extremely busy with life in general as she is part of an orchestra that travels around the world, college student taking a full load, a 4.0 student, and basically mothers her younger brother and sister. Obviously, we hardly see each other and to make things worse, her parents do not know I exist, as she is not forbidden from looking at guys, let alone date them.
I don't know if I should try to get back together with her or just try to move on and if I do move on, what to do afterwards(ie. friends or not). We both openly love each other, and I know she still does.(When we broke up, we made out and hugged for bout 20 minutes, before she had to leave for a orchestra performance).
Two main reasons for breaking up being that I'm not the boy she needs/wants(says that she doesn't know if i fit into the place in her heart for a bf? Help.) and that we hardly see each other. Neither of which really bother me as we often, skype/call/text everyday. Want to see her more but i understand, summer/holidays are always better.
TL;DR: | my gf of 1 year that i love more than anything recently broke up with me for reasons, that i dont understand, need help with what to do from here. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I'm (f30) on disability benefits & haven't told my lover (m28). Should I tell him?
POST: Background: I've (F30) been on disability benefits for more than 10 years due to a mental illness. I spent a few of those years not working, but in the last 7-8 of them I've been healthier every year and working more and more. About half of my monthly income still comes from benefits. I really want to be independent one day, I am ashamed to be on benefits because people who don't know me well see me as high-functioning. It's been a slow process to build up my tolerance and life-skills to where I am now.
Now: I've been dating a man (m28) for 4.5 months now, we are both firmly against calling ourselves a couple and we see other people sometimes. He is understanding about my mental illness (he has a milder version himself) and I'm honest with him in every way - except that I haven't told him I'm on disability. At first it was because we were 'only dating' and not a couple, but lately this is starting to resemble an open relationship, and last week he told me he loves me and I realized I love him too. At the same time we confirmed to each other our status as a non-couple who see other people.
I'm getting really close to this man, and I'm afraid it might just get harder to tell him as time goes on. I'm also embarrassed and think he will view me with less respect (or even distain) if he finds out I am financially dependent on the government.
My question: Am I being dishonest by not disclosing my financial situation to this man? At what point would you feel the need to tell him, were you in my shoes? Thank you Reddit!
TL;DR: | I'm on disability and haven't told my non-committed partner. Am I being sneaky by not telling him? |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Advice on religious transition
POST: Hey guys-I noticed theres been a lot of debating going on with the religious and atheist communities of Reddit, so I thought this would be a good time to ask for advice. Here's some background-I was baptized Roman Catholic and I attended church and church school as a kid, mostly because my parents wanted me to-I went through First Communion, Confession, and was confirmed a couple years ago. I have always had trouble believing in all of the stories I've heard through the Bible and from the hardcore Christians that will go off for 30 minutes if you so much as speak about atheism. I wasn't exactly forced into the religion-my parents aren't strict religious people, my dad is actually Episcopalian-we haven't been to church as a family in forever, usually only going on Christmas and Easter. Anyways, I've been considering converting to atheism more and more lately-but my question is if I should convert to atheism before really giving Christianity a chance. I do pray a few times a week, but I haven't had anything really special happen. I don't want to convert to atheism because of the religious people that discourage me of following catholicism because of their ridiculous ways of trying to bring hell onto you if you don't believe in God-I think that if I do make the decision to convert, it should be for the religion itself. So what I'm asking is for some stories from religious and atheist people to kind of help me make my decision-im not saying make my decision for me, but I want to know other people's experiences with atheism before I make that decision.
TL;DR: | I'm considering making the conversion to Atheism, but I would like some advice from both sides (Catholics and Atheists) before I make that decision. |
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU By Not Eating A Banana
POST: The TIFU moment occurred this morning, but was being built upon by a series of events starting from four days ago.
On Monday, I got ready for work and didn't have much time for breakfast. When I skip breakfast, my mom secretly puts a small snack in my bag, even when I tell her it's fine (I get a Dunks sandwich on the way usually). Well, she put a banana in my backpack. I noticed it, but really wanted that sausage, egg, and cheese on a croissant. Fast forward to today.
I haven't even thought about the banana that sat in my bag under my lunch box. Well, today I missed breakfast again. Even after I told her I'll be fine, she decides to throw in food anyway. Well, she lifted my lunchbox and noticed the banana. It was slightly brown and partially squished. She says it smelled disgusting (it didn't). I went to grab my coat and came back. She says she sprayed a little perfume in my bag to make the smell bearable. I thought "...okay, got to go bye"
Well, I hop in my car, drive to Dunks, get my sandwich, go to the train, and hop on. Now, I usually have a large set of headphones with me to cancel out the other noise while I listen to music for an hour. I was the last person to hop on the train and luckily found an empty seat when this train is full. I sit down, throw my backpack down and unzip it to get the headphones. This...perfume bomb exploded out of the bag. I mean, this was the Hiroshima of perfume. I started crying over how much perfume flowed out. The whole train car started sneezing and people's eyes were now watering so much, it looked as if we were all teenage girls watching the Notebook. Many people left that car to go to the next one. The conductor told me to throw my bag away or I'll get kicked off the train. I zipped up my bag, threw it in the bathroom that no one uses, closed the door, and never looked back.
TL;DR: | didn't eat a banana left in my backpack, mom sprayed perfume in it to make it smell better, made it a perfume bomb, it went off on train, then gg everyone in my train car got wreked |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [18 M] with my [18 M] "friend", should I forgive him?
POST: I online chatting with my "friend" (I put this in quotations because I have honestly been having a host of problems with him beforehand) when he started to act really strange. He began complementing me and comparing me to handsome Hollywood actors. I felt something was a tad off but I stayed chatting with him anyways.
Fast forward a couple minutes, and he begins telling me that he and all my friends are really jealous of my looks. He says this his girlfriend has a crush on me. I didn't really buy this but he seemed like he was being genuine, because I asked him a million times what are you doing/are you being serious/something along those lines.
He then abruptly stopped to tell me that he was trolling me the entire time, and that he was going to tell his girlfriend about how I wanted to hook up with her (although I never said this or anything remotely close). I proceeded to hang up the call. I got a call from his girlfriend as I was about to go to sleep, but she calling because she was concerned about me being depressed after her boyfriend/my "friend's" behavior. I told her I was fine and went to sleep.
Anyways, I have ceased all contact with this "friend". I don't think I can bring myself to forgive him after doing this. This isn't an isolated incident, he often gets my other friends to gang up on me and harass me, and often peer pressures me, and threatens to tell people secrets I have told him if I don't do a certain thing for him. I honestly have contemplated stop being friends with him for a while it's just that I tend to forgive people too easily, we have also had some good times in the past. This incident really struck me as the final straw however. I don't think a "friend" should be doing such weird and putting down behavior towards me. What do you guys think?
TL;DR: | friend has been putting me down for a while, and really went overboard by telling his girlfriend I wanted to hookup with her (when I didn't) Should I maintain friendship with this person? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [27 M] with my wife [26 F], her friend from high school won't stop hitting on her.
POST: The wife and I have been married for almost a year and a half. Pretty much all of my wife's male friends are attracted to her. A few of them have hit on her but stopped when she let them know she was happily married to me. However, this one guy, we'll call him Mark, does not take no for an answer.
Mark was friends with her in high school and actually missed out on the opportunity to date my wife, which he is now trying to reclaim apparently. He will text her inappropriate messages and attempt to call her. If she takes a while to respond, he will ask her if I'm stopping her from talking to him, etc. The messages have gone from him asking if she is in love with him, asking if she will divorce me for him, etc. She responds by telling him what he's saying is inappropriate, but a couple days or so later he'll be back at it. These messages started about a year into our marriage.
It's beginning to piss me off and I'm fighting the urge to confront him myself. My wife doesn't want to cut contact from him because they were buddies in high school. I think he's crossing the line. My wife thinks I'm overreacting and that as long as she continues to update me on the situation and stops him, she should continue to talk to him. Am I overreacting? What would you do if you or your spouse/SO were in this position? Seems like a common situation that could arise if your partner maintains contact with those in her past.
TL;DR: | Wife wants to remain friends with someone who is disrespecting our relationship. She thinks its ok as long as she updates me on what's going on. Wondering if I'm right to want her to cut off contact. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: I just found out one of my friends I graduated with is somewhat homeless, what are some weird things that happened to you?
POST: I was walking home from my evening class in Vancouver, when one of my friends I graduated with about a year ago was walking down the street. I couldn't believe it, what are the chances that he moved to the same province and we managed to see each other. But he was homeless! He was saying he's going up to sunshine coast where he can literally build a house on land and live there for free. He can even grow his own garden, which he said would have weed and shrooms in it too. I'm not sure what to think!? What are some of your stories, Reddit?
TL;DR: | Friend lives on land for free, builds his own house, somewhat homeless, met him 2500km from his "home province". |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: I've been ignoring girl who is in love with me in hopes she'll take a hint. She seems to be getting more desperate, and I'm worried she might do something crazy, need help about what to do next.
POST: I'm not usually one to ask for advice on forums, but I could really use some advice/perspective. Here is the story:
I dated (aka hooked up with) her for about 2 months at the end of college (I was a senior, she was a junior). I never got the impression that it was any sort of real relationship, though I did like her and thought of her as a good friend. Anyway, after I graduated, I moved across the country, and we have been keeping in touch as casual friends (sharing tales about our lives, keeping each other updated, etc. nothing romantic). Lately she's been sending me messages hinting that she's "in love with me" and recently she even sent me a text that said "I love you." She's also been insinuating that she's planning on moving across the country to Chicago (where I live) to be with me. This was an issue in the past, and I've spoken with her about it, about how I didn't reciprocate those feelings, but the talk didn't seem to work. Now I've taken the approach of just cutting off all communication with her. I don't respond to texts, calls, messages on facebook. Anything. Instead of her taking a hint, she seems to think that this is me sending her a message that I hate her, and I'm worried she might hurt herself, though I feel like it would hurt her more to tell her straight up that I'm ignoring her because I don't want her to be a part of my life. I was hoping that she would take the hint and that would make it less painful.
TL;DR: | girl I dated briefly in college still obsessed with me, I want nothing to do with her. I live across the country. I've been ignoring her, she's been going insane. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: Her ex is manipulating my gf.. what should i do?
POST: So ive [23M] been with my SO [21F] for a year and some change and her ex won't stop trying to talk to her. He keeps on texting her sending her pictures of himself and asking her to hang out. Its really annoying me and my SO and we don't know how to get him to stop. Yesterday he send her a picture of a bracelet and a ring that she left at his house back when they were dating and hes taunting her and me. im really pissed off but i dont really know what i should do. She wants the jewlery back from him because its expensive but i dont want her near him. i have a feeling that he wont give it back to her just to keep her on a leash. It makes me really mad and i want to hurt this SOB but i dont know how. Hes been a nuisance the whole time ive been with her, sometimes he would go away for a month or two but he comes back always with something new. Im mad at her for not getting rid of him but how can she. What the heck should i do?? HELP!
TL;DR: | Gf's ex is taunting her with jewlery she left at his house when they were together. how do i send him a message he should back the FUCK OFF |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [20 M] don't know what to do with my introvert crush [19 F] 4 months, need advice
POST: Hello, /r/relationships!
4 months ago i met girl that looked like my previous crush, though she has a lot more interesting lifestyle, than previous one. I thought that i like her because of associations of that girl, but now i convinced that it is only visual appearence similarity, internally they're rather different, and i want to get to know her.
As i said, she is introvert, at moment when we met we was at underground artists exhibition. I didn't knew that she had bf at that moment, we exchanged a lot of looks, i guess, i even thought that she likes me. Her relationships with bf was excellent, i was told.
Few weeks ago they broke up, because her bf didn't treat her right. And i know she is in that period, where's she won't dating etc, because they had damn long-time relationships. And now her ex writing to her everyday asking "how can i change?". I trying to write her, but she didn't see my messages. I wrote last one 13 days ago, still not '*seen*'. I can't go out with her either, we're not so close to do that. So i waiting our common friend, so we can go out.
My question: what should i do when we met? I really want to help her, because she in deep depression, and i don't want to stay just shoulder for her, but a whole man who can treat her right.
Ask me details, please.
Also, i'm psychologist myself, so you can speak with me using psychological terms
TL;DR: | introvert girl in depression because of broke up with her bf, and i want to help her and become a bf possibly |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: Connecting with boyfriend
POST: My boyfriend And I are both 23 and I am female.
I have two things my boyfriend has brought up.
1) he feels like most of what we do is either talk about or have sex. He said he wants more of a connection with me and i suggested we talk about more things. He works nights and then sleeps for about 12 hrs when he gets home, so there isn't a lot of time in between or before work again. On weekends, people are over, so there's not a lot of time except saturdays which we spend together. i thought we did more than that, but after he said that i've realized that this could be an issue. I realized I used to be really open about things, but the more i fall for him the more I seem to be shutting him out. I don't mean to, but the closest theory I can think of is that if I'm vulnerable and open, I have more chances of getting hurt.
2) He said I never see my friends and I am always at his place. I think he feels like I don't do anything with my life anymore. I am with him 4/7 nights of the week and many of my friends are now far away. I do see my friends, but I can see where he's coming from because I don't see them much anymore.
I'd like to fix both of these, and I understand the simple answer is go hang out and talk about other things, so I guess I am looking for how to start or ideas of things to do. Thanks!
TL;DR: | boyfriend says we mostly talk about/have sex and I don't ever see my friends. Worried I'll lose him if we don't spend as much time together. What do? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [20M] with my [19F] of 2 years, have little to nothing in common and it's starting to bother me
POST: Me and my SO have nothing in common anymore. We met in high school, had an instant connection, lived close and always had something to talk about. When we both moved to go to uni it turned out we live approximately 2 hours away from each other (not really a deal breaker, but not ideal). I love her to bits although I find it hard to have a conversation with her because nowadays we don't have the same group of friends, live in different cities, interested in different things etc.
I don't know what to do in this situation, is it time to have let things run their course and end things altogether? Or try and find interests that we both enjoy, which is hard as she is relatively resistant to change.
What do you think reddit? I think I need the harsh truth on this one.
TL;DR: | Me and my SO have nothing in common, ever since moving to uni and living in different cities, different interests and no mutual friends. Is it time to end things? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: 26F with 28M friend (and occaisional hook up) of 10+ years overnight visiting for a weekend. What to do about the flirts and the feels?
POST: I could use some advice from guys or gals who have been in similar situations.
A good friend of mine for about 10 years has volunteered to rep his company at a convention in my city over the weekend and the company isn't providing a hotel because it's a 2 hour drive from their main office where he works. He's asked to stay in my tiny studio apartment for a couple of days so he doesn't have to make the drive and I told him no problem.
Throughout high school and college we would have drunken hook ups here and there, but we've never actually had sex. More often then not, these would put some awkward distance between the two of us for a few months and then we'd be fine. Two years ago when he lived in Chicago, I went out there for a week's vacation (I have many friends out there, it wasn't just to visit him) and after about 8 drinks he made a move--but I was sorta seeing a mutual friend at the time and turned him down.
When I met him at 16, I had a big crush and ten years of friendship later, I still think he's the greatest. I don't know if the feeling is mutual, but we're definitely each other's type, have a lot in common and are very flirty (sharing drinks at parties, kissing hello/good bye on the cheek, we even say "I love you" from time to time)--but, he does have a well earned reputation for being a lady killer and I wonder it's more sexual curiousity than anything else. He got out of a year long relationship 3 months ago and with the upcoming visit and our history, I'm wondering...what's going on and how can I play it cool this weekend? Speaking for myself, I'd love it if this turned into something more, but I'd be so upset if I lost him.
TL;DR: | old friend (10 years) who I have feelings for and who I've had casual drunk hook ups with is now a few months single and staying in my studio apartment for a weekend for work. Help me not eff it up. |
SUBREDDIT: r/personalfinance
TITLE: Should I quit my job or get fired?
POST: Hello, I would appreciate some words of wisdom as I embark on the next journey in my life. I have been working at a corporate america desk job for a media conglomerate for the past 4 years. I have hit a wall and have had enough. My managers are don't care about their employees and I look at them as tenured managers who enjoy their vacation time too much. They lack passion and management skills. As this was the company that hired me out of college, it has been a great way to experience amazing health and retirement benefits while making a decent salary. However, I sit at a computer all day and am not challenged. I have requested to do new work but the new work I am getting is simply inputting data and doing boring work just to shut me up. I have learned that they really don't care about the individual at all, just the overall team in terms of keeping costs low. New hires are making $18 an hour which is way less than I make but their #1 goal is to get employees for cheap. Sitting at a desk and dedicating 50 hours plus a week to keeping a giant corporate machine running in which I have zero passion has forced me to want to quit. I can't take it any longer.
My family has a retail jewelry store in which I plan on taking to the 21st century. My mom and aunt own it but they do not have an internet presence or market the business. There are areas I can add value so I am excited for my new venture. I love business and listen to podcasts every single day about life and success. I just want to do what I want when I want.
The question I have for everyone is:
1. Has anyone felt like this before?
2. Is it more strategical to get fired or quit and give 2 weeks notice.
3. Am I entitled to 2 weeks? What if they kick me out right away.
Any insight would be greatly appreciated.
TL;DR: | I am tired of my corporate america boring job and am straight up quitting. I am interested in going into business with my family making potentially less money at first but I will have my sanity and freedom to learn. |
SUBREDDIT: r/personalfinance
TITLE: I'm 18, making $9700/mo (CAN) and have no idea what to do with my income.
POST: I'm entering my first year of university after graduating high school this year. My schooling is payed for by my parents, and I have absolutely no debt.
I've been doing Computer Science for around 5 years now ever since I was 13. Last year I started a small business/website that didn't grow that much but brought in around ~$300USD a month. This was great because I was a teenager and having this income without any work meant I could focus on school. An article was written about my website in September last year. It mentioned how I was a 17 year old developer etc and some business guys reached out to me.
For the past year now I've been doing development work for these guys. The pay is really good and I've learnt a lot. The work is a lot harder then I thought, but it's very interesting and I love it. I was making around ~$1000-1500/mo(USD) doing this work.
So recently I was hired to do another job. But this one brings in a much higher salary of $7500/USD a month which is insane.. I've never seen this much money before. The work load is basically nothing compared to what I was doing before. But the pay is much higher. I live in Canada so after conversion I make around $9700/CAD/MONTH.
This work doesn't take much time. Only a few hours a week. I'm going to University for Computer Science. I have no debts. I've also dipped my hands into investing a few years back and won a competition in Canada for managing a top portfolio.
My question is, what do I do with this income? I don't have anything huge I want to buy. I'm moving in with my grandparents which is close to my university. I don't need a car and don't really want one to be honest. I went out and bought myself a bunch of clothing and stuff today that I've wanted for years and only spent $400. Now that I've splurged I have no itch to spend. I just want to invest/save my money smartly.
TL;DR: | New job pays a lot. Have no bills and don't need to buy anything. What's the best thing to do with this money? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: I (M/20) just got dumped by my GF(F/19) of almost 2 years. But she says she will call me first when she wants to date again...
POST: So here is the deal. She has gone to France to study for the semester. She left about a month ago. Then, earlier today, she breaks up with me. She was saying she needs space and doesn't want to be in a relationship right now, not with anyone. (I trust that she wasn't cheating or something; I'm certain she wouldn't lie about that.) She said she would talk to me again when she was ready for a relationship again, and in the mean time wants to stay friends. She says she still loves me, and that I was always kind and perfect. In fact, she couldn't provide ANY reason for why she was breaking up with me, except that she hadn't been single for more than a month since she was 13 and just wanted to be single for a while. (I know she doesn't NEED a reason, but I would think she would tell me if she had one.) I trust her, but I know she has a tendency to not want to cause confrontation.
Am I kidding myself to think that she will try to get back together? Should I move on? I know I still love her. (Up until today, I had been saving for a trip to see her while she was in France.) Is it worth it to try to figure out how to improve and be better for if/when she comes around? Should I try to give it up and move on? Should I give myself a waiting period, and if she's not ready, then just call it quits? Is this a normal or common thing? I'm completely lost here, I've never been in a situation like this.
TL;DR: | Dumped because she says she just doesn't want a relationship right now, but says she still loves me and will call me when she wants to date again. What do I do? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [19 M] am in a relationship with a super emotional [19 F] and was wondering where I should go with this and if this is normal
POST: I've been going out with this girl for a little less than a year and I was wondering what I should do in this relationship and if this is normal. I like her a lot, but I have a hard time expressing my emotions. On the other hand, my gf is pretty emotional and tells me she loves me all the time. Whenever I show even the slightest sign of annoyance, she starts to cry and tells me to say "I love you" to her for her to get better. If I don't say it, she gets even more upset. But I just don't want to throw that phrase around because I dislike saying it in a forced way. It doesn't help that whenever she starts to cry because I'm annoyed, I get even more annoyed. So I was wondering if I have a right to be annoyed at this or if it is my fault for not appeasing?
Another example of her emotional personality is when we were watching a documentary on a guy who took care of his comatose gf and dropped everything like work and school to do so. My gf then asked me if I would do the same and I straight-up said no because I couldn't afford to do so, as I'm still in college and young. She then started crying and got upset at me because I "don't love her unconditionally," even though this was a purely hypothetical question and had no chance of occurring. Was I being a bit harsh or was she being irrational?
I mean, I still like her a lot, but she is super attached to me. She wouldn't mind losing all of her friends and giving up her entire social life if it meant being with me 24/7, and I just can't do that. I need to have my own interests and other friends where I'm not with her. It's getting to the point where she wants me to take her to all of the kickbacks/ parties that I go to with my friends and she gets upset when I don't involve her with them.
TL;DR: | I'm in a relationship with someone who is clingy and really emotional. I like her a lot, but she seems too attached to me. Is this relationship spelled for disaster? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Am I [23m] crazy for even thinking about getting back together with ex [22m]? If you have gotten back together with an ex I'd love to hear your perspective.
POST: Okay where to start? My Ex and I had a 5 month relationship. We were friends before hand then FWB, then we had a short relationship which was "The Honeymoon Period" after that ended we got sick of eachother because we had gotten too close.
We give each other distance start talking again. Start hanging out and having the best sex ever. We confess to eachother that we love eachother and miss eachother. But while we were single she bought a plane ticket to colorado to go skiing with another guy. This guy has slept with her before.
Where we are now is we're not having sex and thinking about what we want from eachother. I initially told her I couldn't even be with her if she went to CO, but the more I'm thinking about it, I realize I don't want to hold her back from doing cool things with friends, I would want to be allowed to hangout with anyone I want. We're thinking of getting back together. I'm thinking of asking her to text this guy and make it clear that they can't have sex... I want to take this relationship to the next level and trust her but if I were to find out they sleep together I'd probably never talk to her again. I'm willing to take a chance and trust her, problem is I don't trust the other guy.
TL;DR: | Ex is visiting a friend [23m] in another state to go skiing with. They have a past. I'd like perspective. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [26M] with my brother [35 M] wants me to take his dog.
POST: Hi Reddit, not sure if this is the right place to seek advice. I am a huge animal and more specifically dog lover. my brother tonight asked if i would take his dog of 7 years who i absolutely love and is huge. part wolfhound.
Now the problem is that i live with my girlfriend in an already too small house for us. about 750sf. We already have a 60 pound dog who is high energy and needs lots of attention. So it would be a huge change for us to take him in. I really dont want to take him, but if it came down to it i would have to. He is family!
I really dont know what to do. my brother doesnt want him anymore. he is the sweetest dog and mostly behaved. his biggest complaint is that he rips of the kids stuffed animals and runs away if let out the front door. In the last two years my brother has met his wife, got married, and has two kids. I realize times are stressful, but i also feel like they should take care of the dog for it's entire life. I know if i take it or if he gives it away I will resent him for it. I also dont think his wife loves the dog very much. This dog has been loyal for 7 years and he's just going to get rid of him. It breaks my heart and makes me cry just thinking about it.
TL;DR: | Brother is trying to get rid of his awesome loyal dog. Not sure what to do, or if there is any option i havent yet thought about. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [23f] want to reach out to an ex [23m] from ten years ago because things ended very badly but am not sure if I should...
POST: I have recently come in contact with some people from my past and am obviously extremely happy about that but there is one person in particular who I still miss and wish he knew how I felt. He [23m] was my first boyfriend but took on more than he could handle. I [23f] was mentally ill in the worst way possible all throughout my teenage years and that is when we were together (we were both 13 years old at the time).
My teenage years were pure hell for me and everyone involved and my mental illnesses were bad enough for me to be institutionalized. However, he loved me unconditionally and was always there for me, picking up the phone at 12 am listening to me talk with tears in my eyes, holding my hand whenever he could, and just genuinely supporting me as much as he could.
However, as I put already, we were both very young. I was putting too much pressure on him and eventually he couldn't take it anymore.
One day when I had a bottle of pills in one hand and a bottle of vodka in the other and was threatening to kill myself in front of him, he escorted me outside, kissed my forehead, and said he couldn't do it anymore.
I was outraged the next few weeks and would call/text all sorts of nasty things to him and just absolutely berated him because I was so angry and I was so blinded by it that I didn't realize just how ugly I was being.
So now ten years later, I am on the proper medications, have an active social life, am going to culinary school in January, and am a thousand times better than I ever was before. During this time spent maturing and getting better, I have often thought about how much I must have hurt him and I feel terrible about it. He tried his best to support me and when he left I acted like a monster. Do you think it is a good idea to get in contact with him somehow and offer a heartfelt apology or is it simply too late?
TL;DR: | Was an absolute psycho when I dated my first boyfriend and our break up was outrageously messy. Should I apologize ten years later? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [24 /F] with my bf [25 M] of four years, I deeply resent my boyfriend because I'm not the "love of his life"
POST: I think my problem seems pretty silly, but here it goes. Me and my boyfriend have had a great relationship for the last two years, but the other first two years of the relationship were terrible. The first year of our relationship, he would talk about the "love of his life", Gabrielle.
He would told me that she was the prettiest girl in the class, that he hoped he would see her again -She moved to New Zealand, we're in South America-, stuff like that. Me, being the insecure chick that I am, didn't said anything at the time. Funny thing is, this girl was his girlfriend in 7TH GRADE, and he couldn't forget her.
Well, four years into the relationship, things have changed. He doesn't talk about her, tells me I'm the love of his life, that he wants to marry me next year and all that. But I deeply resent that first year of all the talking surrounding Gabrielle. She's married with kids, but my boyfriend would search her and her husbands Facebook and all that. Granted, he buys me a lot of things and most of the living expenses go on him, but he has never dedicated a song to me, or write me a poem like he did with her. There's not a single day I don't think about this. I've mentioned the situation years ago, but he would say "oh, but she's married now!" and everything ends like that. The worst is, she contacted him via facebook, so she's again a part of his life now in a way.
My questions are: Is my resentment founded? Should I speak to my boyfriend once again about this or am I being insane? How to move on?
TL;DR: | My boyfriend would talk everyday about his ex from 7th grade, I resent that he doesn't love me the way he loved her. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My long distance girlfriend [17/F] of just over a year just broke up with me [19/M].
POST: We'd been friends since I was 16 and she was 14. We met online and I've never met her in real life but we'd talk for hours every day, we started being together in June last year, she was my first girlfriend. I enjoyed all my time with her, but yesterday she said she was feeling trapped in the relationship and told me she never wanted to make contact with me ever again and has since cut off any means of contact.
It happened in less than 5 minutes and it was so sudden. I'm not sure whether it hasn't hit me yet but I have a strange feeling in my chest that's just plain uncomfortable. I don't feel like I've gotten any closure,
TL;DR: | I don't know how to react to what just happened to me, I want her back but there's no way for me to contact her. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me 29m, ex-gf 25 from 2 years ago. Do i tell her I need to end the friendship or just disappear?
POST: This is a pretty simple scenario I think just need some thoughts on what to do.
We were together for 6 years, living together for 1 year and within 2 months of us breaking up she was in another relationship, she has since moved to another country to be with her new BF.
When we broke up we decided to remain friends…I'm aware of the stupidity of this now, even seeing all these photos of her and her new bf on Facebook I wanted to remain friends as did she. Currently we are semi in contact via Facebook, talking on average about once a week. Have blocked her updates.
Now 2 years after we broke up I need to end the friendship, it is too hard for me to be happy for her and I am struggling to stop thinking about her and what could have been. It's doing my head in!
Do I send her a brief letter ending the friendship and then cease all contact or just cease all contact with no explantion? I'm tending towards a brief email just saying something like "hey, don't hate ya but staying friends is a bit difficult for me, all the best"
TL;DR: | Do I send my ex GF from 2 years ago a brief explanation of why I need to end the friendship or just cut her with no explanation? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My (26M) coworker (30sM) coughs and clears his throat about a million times a day. He won't use anything but traditional medicine for it. Help?
POST: Hey /r/relationships. Not a regular reader of this sub, but I'm out of options and you guys seem pretty on the ball.
The guy (30ishM) in the cube next to me is a great guy. Married, 1-year-old daughter, smart, gets his work done and does it well. We get along pretty well. No one else would have any complaints either except, well...
This guy coughs and clears his throat loudly every minute or so, every single workday. It's at the point where the people who have actual offices close their doors whenever he's at his desk. It's driving the people in the cubes around us insane. I've got a fan running and ambient music through headphones and it's still distracting.
We're good enough friends that I've brought it up a couple times. I asked him if he had allergies and suggested he talk to his doctor or pick up some Claritin or something. Obviously I didn't tell him that the rest of our coworkers are ready to strangle him, but I thought he might take the hint.
Nope. The problem is, he's an immigrant from China and I guess his family isn't real keen on anything but traditional/herbal remedies. When he told me that I said kind of jokingly, "Well it's not working!" I think he got that I wasn't really kidding, but brushed the issue off.
He hasn't done anything about the cough since then, but our coworkers (all women) have begged me, as the one other guy in the department and this guy's closest work friend, to step in again. Based on conversations with them I know that they're legitimately angry with this guy, which isn't surprising since the noise is nonstop. I've been counting, and he's done it twenty-two times since I started writing this post. That's more than once a minute.
How do I approach this in a nice, culturally sensitive way?
TL;DR: | Coworker from China keeps coughing and won't try anything but traditional medicine that doesn't work. Rest of the department is ready to kill him. What do I do? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [23 F] with my FWB(?) [23 M] for two-ish months, unsure what his deal is
POST: So I met this great guy, we work together so we spend a lot of time together. Probably about a month after we started working together we hooked up kind of suddenly, and I spent the night at his house.
I wasn't sure what to feel about our relationship, we remained friends at work and got along really well but I labelled it as a friends with benefits.
I think that he however wanted a little more, he would cook for me and take me on dates etc. When I asked if we were friends with benefits one day, he said "yes, but I also cook for you so..."
He has always kind of treated me like a girlfriend, I've met all of his friends, we go on dates, hold hands in public and talk privately with each other.
About a week ago I left the city we live in, and I went to my parents for the holidays. The day before I left we hooked up, and I came soooo close to asking him if he could see us being in a relationship in the future, but I didn't.
We were texting since I've been home and then I cracked and told him that I wasn't sure what he wanted, but to be fair to both of us I wanted him to know that I eventually (not necessarily now) want to be in a relationship with him in the future. Since then he has not responded to my text at all. I texted him again about four days after the original text and said I would love to hear from you, maybe we could chat on the phone sometime, and no response. What is this guy's deal? Am I wasting my time with him? I have no idea how to feel/ proceed...
TL;DR: | FWB but kind of dating was going great, he hasn't responded to my texts at all since asking about a relationship.. help! |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [27 M] and my ex-fiancee [22 F] of 3 years broke up, she started dating right after. Please help me stop being angry.
POST: My fiancee moved out a little over two weeks ago. We had a very unstable relationship, mostly because of my mental health which was a heavy strain on things. However, I worked extremely hard at making it work in the past few months, so this was quite a shock for me. I thought we were happy at this point, but it turns out she didn't agree.
So she left me. Fine. I can deal with that. We even had a good tone. We're in a city quite new to us both and we don't have that many close friends except each other. I was prepared to give a lot to keep it friendly.
However, a little over *one* week ago, she found a new guy. (I know what you're thinking, but I'm 100% certain it's new.) It's not just a rebound thing according to her, it's serious. She fell for this guy. Head over heels. She's finally feeling happy. This might be it. And so on.
When I heard it I just got so incredibly sad. I got angry at him and at her, I've felt so much hate, fantasising about the most horrible things that could happen to them. It's incredibly intense. Of course, I'm jealous, but it's not just that. I feel like if she could do this already, she duped me when I was giving all I had to make it work, while she had nothing left.
Has somebody been in a similar situation and can offer some consolation or advice? This is really eating at me. I hate feeling this way. I *will* be angry at her, because it's a shitty thing to do to me. But I love her, and I don't want to feel like I want her in pain. I wish I could be the sort of person who'd wish her well, but if not, I'd take just being indifferent. I realise that's going to take time.
But shit's painful, yo. And right now the only person hurting is me. Help me understand what the hell is going on here.
TL;DR: | My fiancee left me. Started seeing a new guy just after. I'm filled to the brink of anger and hate, which eats my soul, and I just want to understand what's going on. |
SUBREDDIT: r/loseit
TITLE: [Help] How do you stay focused in the long-term?
POST: I've been on a diet for a little over a week now. while I've lost a considerable amount of weight already, thanks to a complete overhaul of my lifestyle, mentally I feel that it's too slow - "**I want to be thin now**".
The diet is going really well, and so far I haven't rewarded myself with food, which is one of the most positive things I've done in a while. It's just all in my head.
Also -- I dieted earlier on in the year, with some success, but it broke down and I lost motivation to carry on. I lost about a 15 lbs from January to April, and but it all back on again in two months, until last week. I'd repeated this same sort of pattern September to December too, and I really want to avoid doing it again.
Any advice?
TL;DR: | Diet always seems to break down after a couple of months. Any tips on how I can stay more focused this time around? |
SUBREDDIT: r/personalfinance
TITLE: Getting 401k information after leaving job.
POST: I recently left a job at the end of October. My last day was October 24th. I had recently started contributing to my 401k, but it was only two months at the most. Leaving was unexpected. My question is how long does it typically take to get your 401k information after you leave a job? It has been a month and a half and I haven't received anything. I asked my former boss about it a few weeks ago and she said she would look into it, but that is the last I heard about it. She did tell me the 401k was with Schwab though. Is it possible for me to contact Schwab and give them my information so they can find my account? And then I can decide what to do with it?
TL;DR: | Left job October 24th, haven't received anything about 401k. Is that normal? How do I get that information? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [34 M] with my fiance [26 F] together 9 years, question of boundaries.
POST: So both my fiance and I work over nights and plan to get married in October. A situation has come up though and I'm looking for others opinions. I have a friend at work that I sometimes talk to online via facebook. My fiance found our conversation and thinks I have crossed the line/blurred boundaries and should feel bad because of my actions. I however feel it was non flirtatious and think she is over-reacting as it meant as a joke.
Here's exactly what happened. I started messaging my friend from work (She's a 22 year old female) around 11pm. This happened to be the same time my fiance leaves for work. We talked a bit for short duration over a 3 day span each day beginning when my fiance left for her shift. At one point I remarked that "If she lived closer, I'd take her to a movie".
My fiance is livid and assumes this meant I was asking the other woman (my friend) out. What do others think? I should mention the my fiance did not know about this woman/friend at the time. I've never mentioned her.
TL;DR: | Joked with a friend about taking her to a movie and fiance is paranoid and thinks I asked out another woman/blurred the boundaries between friends. Who's right? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [M 21] am in a longdistance relationship with my GF [21] since 2 years and maybe I'm gay for one person [M 23]
POST: Since more than 2 years I'm together with my girlfriend, it's a long-distance relationship and the longest time we don't see each other is about 2 months. I would say it's working out relatively good considering the circumstances.
A few weeks ago I developed a little crush on an other girl, but I decided pro relationship and just tried to await, until my feelings towards this girl would decline. Because in my opinion it doesn't mean you don't love your SO anymore by developing some feelings for an other person, especially when seperated for a longer time; for me it's more of a decision, which emotional way to follow.
But a few days ago things got... odd, when I got closer to a gay guy I know, solely in a friendship kind of way. I talked to him a lot lately and maybe got some feelings for him, which is very unusual considering I've been straight my whole life. Getting to know him better as person in combination with him being very feminine maybe made me gay for him. I somehow feel attracted to him which contradicts to my feelings of being turned off by imagining to make out with a male.
The fact that I had/have two crushes in a short period of time, while having a gf and one crush being a guy confuses me a lot. That's why I hope to get some opinions of you on this situation. Thank you for reading.
TL;DR: | While being in a long-distance relationship I developed feelings for two other people, one being a gay guy; which is unusual for me, thought I'm straight. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [16M] am having trouble being intimate with my [16M] GF.
POST: I recently started dating my dream girl as of almost a month ago now and I couldn't be be happier. I've been best friends with her for a few years now but I always just assumed she was out of my league. After we had a thing for a month or two I asked her out and she said yes. Once we stayed dating it felt so right but I didn't know how to act. I've been friends with her for so long that it just feels weird to do anything beyond cuddle ( unless we're drinking). A few nights ago we were hanging out at my house and I went to make out with her and I just started doing weird shit and stopped. I swear what I said after belongs in /r/cringe and I was just a babbling idiot.
I guess my point is I can't do anything with her sober because if we're drinking, I can blame however sloppy and weird I am on that and not on the fact that it feels weird to be making out with my best friend.
Any suggestions on how I can get past this would be appreciated, thanks.
TL;DR: | started dating best friend and need advice on how to get past feeling weird/nervous when we do anything intimate. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskDocs
TITLE: Kidney pain, painful swollen testicle.
POST: So today I woke up with some kidney pain for the first time in my life. I thought it was my lower back at first, but I don't think so. A few hours later my left testicle started to get sore and swollen and has been bugging me all day. What is more concerning and hopefully unrelated is that I have been having yellow semen and a burning sensation when uriniating for the last month or so...this happened to me once before, and I went to Planned Parenthood and took some antibiotics and it went away. The kidney pain and testicle pain are new though. Needless to say I'm worried and will be going to see a doctor soon, but I'd like to hear some opinions as well. Is it something as simple as an old STD coming back with a vengeance or is there more going on here?
TL;DR: | yellow semen and burning urination for the past month or so (had STD and treated it several years ago) kidney pain and painful swollen testicle starting today. |
SUBREDDIT: r/personalfinance
TITLE: How can I consolidate my debt if I have attrocious credit? [UK-Based]
POST: I have no idea where or how to start, given that this is my first post on Reddit, let alone this subreddit.
Over the years I have been truly terrible with managing my money, bouncing from one bad decision to the next.
I've been extremely luckily to avoid having any defaults or CCJs on my record, but even so, I fell into the black hole of Payday loans and am now finding it nearly impossible to climb back out.
I started getting these horrendous debts because I wasn't able to admit to myself, or my wife, that I was not able to provide for the family.
I ran up debts to pay for holidays or even the silliest of things like a meal out. The dumbest thing of all was that I hid it from her, and when this came out it nearly ended our marriage.
She is now fully aware of our situation (warts and all), and I'm lucky that she's standing by me, but we now need to find some way to fix this.
I'm earning a good wage, but I'm finding that nearly half of it is going on paying back these loans, and after looking closely, most of that is on the interest.
Due to my propensity to use Payday loans to pay for payday loans in the past, my credit score has fallen through the floor (As they didn't ask questions, and allowed me to keep this all in the shadows).
My bank will not offer me a loan, and to make things worse I changed jobs very recently which came with a nice wage increase, but means that I have been in my current employ for only 3 months.
Does anyone know of ANY way I can consolidate down the nearly £10,000 of debt have some sort of single payment over a 5 year period? I figure If I can do that then I can get on top of this.
TL;DR: | I got us into £10K of debt mostly through lying to my wife about Payday Loans, and now have no way to get out of the pit I've made. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I'd like to be with a girl [M/F 26]. Timing isn't great. Need some advice navigating this situation.
POST: An old, good friend of mine and I have recently started something with each other. We live far away and I came to visit her just as a friend for while. We ended up REALLY hitting it off and did a few more visits over ~2.5 months before reality set in - neither of us are willing to move for the other for 2+ years and neither of us want to do a long distance relaitonship at all and neither of us are willing to be exclusive for each other as long as we're not in a relationship.
My entire relationship with her (including our long friendship) has always been the most functional in my life in terms of communication, honesty, and truly having each other's backs; wanting the other to succeed in everything.
However, we're also very clear on what we want for ourselves and neither of us want to do long distance or move. This is fine, but I'd like to somehow keep the friendship alive and the door open for something to happen in the future as I may find myself much closer to her in the future.
I'd like some advice on how to handle this. It's clear to me that I want to be with her, but not until we're closer to each other and can truly meet each other's needs. If she meets other guys, I want to be happy for her (as I was in the past), but now my sort of natural emotional reaction gets in the way and I feel jealous/sad instead because, well, I love her a lot and want to be with her!
So, I'm trying to decide whether to more or less cut contact with her for a few months/years/whatever, get over her and then just see where we both are down the road.
Or, should I let these visits continue and let us keep being in a "romantic but uncommitted" relationship and just deal with whatever emotional crap comes of it? I could attempt to emotionally backtrack to being just friends like we were, but that's very difficult and I've never had good luck with that in the past.
Any thoughts? Perhaps there's a path I haven't considered?
TL;DR: | How do I come to terms with the fact that a relationship doesn't make sense right now, but may in the future and in the meantime she might see other people? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I have feelings for my best friend [23 F] and she asked me [24 M] to move in with here. Should I do it?
POST: I've had feelings for my friend for a few months now. She's completely aware, but we haven't let it affect our friendship at all. One day I opened up and told her how I felt, she didn't reciprocate and we just moved on. We talk about it from time to time but the conversation never gets weird or awkward. She currently has a boyfriend. He's cool with her and I being so close and hanging out by ourselves, he respects and trusts us both. He *does not* however know about my feelings and *does not* know she wants to get an apartment with me. I'm conflicted by this because I'd prefer she be open and honest with her boyfriend (even though I have feelings for her I want nothing but the best for her relationship, she deserves that happiness and he gives it to her) but at the same time if he knew he would probably be upset and feel uncomfortable with how close my friend and I are.
So, my I guess my question is this: In your opinion or experience, how do you think this would play out in my part? Obviously you don't know us well enough to know but I suppose you can have an idea.
Also, should I encourage her to tell her boyfriend? This is kind of a big deal and "I want to move in with the guy who has feelings for me." seems like it might cause some issues for them. She wants to tell him eventually but this is kind of a big lie and I don't feel super comfortable being a part of it. It feels like collusion and if I were in his shoes I'd be upset.
TL;DR: | I have feelings for my best friend and she wants to move in with me. Should I? And should she tell her boyfriend? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [23 F] left one boyfriend [25] for the other [23], giving up polyamory, and the one I chose doesn't believe me that it's for good.
POST: Short backstory: I have been with one person, let's call him Hugh, for over a year and a half. For the past ten months, I was dating another person, Randy, with the approval of Hugh. They both preferred monogamy but were okay with the situation for the time being.
Current: Two weeks ago, Hugh broke up with me because he didn't like that I was poly. I immediately broke it off with Randy because I love Hugh and want to spend the rest of my life with him. I know Hugh wants the same thing, but he does not believe that I will be happy in a monogamous relationship with him and is hesitant to take me back because of it. I know that I would be happy and that for me poly was a choice, not something I need.
TL;DR: | How can I ease Hugh's concerns? Looking back, I see that the polyamorous life hurt him more than he let on. How can I assure him that I won't hurt him again? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My[26M] boyfriend 'cheated' on me[20F] over a year ago when we first started dating and just told me. Looking for advice on moving past this.
POST: So when we first started dating the rules were a bit murky. It was my first Real relationship and I wanted to be a super cool chill girlfriend or whatever, so I said we could totally have a threesome & was overly excited about it. We never did have that threesome, but he apparently took this to mean it was okay to have girls over.
He never had sex with them, just "hands in pants," until one girl gave him a blowjob. I knew she was over, but was very trusting and didn't worry much about it. She used this to break up with her boyfriend at the time. Afterwards he called me, and told me she was saying stuff, and that I was important to him and basically made me confident nothing actually happened.
After this he quit letting any girl spend the night in any way (I was confused at the time about why this mattered. lol) And he says he learned by my reaction during that phone call that I was not okay with it & he has been torn up about it since. About a year after this phone call, he told me what really happened.
I believe him (though it may be stupid) and have no doubt that he won't do it again. I've decided that I can trust him going forward and he makes me happy and is supportive. I can see how he would have been able to convince himself I was okay with this.
But I still want to either barf or start crying when I think about it, and I worry I'm going to think of it whenever we have sex, and that would just put a big damper on things. I've talked with him about it already, but I feel like if I bring it up again now (a couple weeks later) and he knows I'm still this upset about it he'll hate himself, convince himself we should break up, be convinced by me that we should stay together, and then just feel like shit for the rest of forever. Really not excellent for any relationship.
Also we've been dating for a year and a half. Sidebar requirements.
So:
TL;DR: | He thought sexytimes with others were okay, they weren't, he told me about them, how do I move on? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Passive aggressive issues between me[29M] and my [25F] after 1,5 yr. Which way should I go?
POST: When I met her about almost 2 years ago I wan't looking for a particularly "serious" relationship. Surprisingly I fell in love madly even though she warned me of her "difficult" character but at that time I didn't care that much.
Actually I had to try pretty hard to convince her that I'm the right guy. But now... I'm remembering her warnings all to well. The thing is that we virtually don't fight. When we have a disagreement or rather if I do something wrong she just shuts me out and goes all quiet. The only thing I can get out of her are sarcastic remarks.
Surely I'm not perfect but recently I think she really starts to over react. For example I used to work in a music club. Sometimes the manager calls me and asks for help on really big gigs. We are short on money right now so when he called I agreed without hesitation. Especially that we were supposed to go to that concert anyway. When I told my gf about it she decided not to go because she won't have nothing to do for the first part of the gig and so I went alone. When I came back I got the cold shoulder for leaving her alone for the evening and she even posted on her fb something like "oh yet another lonely evening".
That's just one example and alll in all I've reached a point where I'm considering breaking up. She had a rough childhood and last year wasn't easy on her as well but I want to be happy in my relationship.
The thing that screws my up is I don't know what to do... If I should keep fighting to make this thing work or just say enough is enough... I know there is no simple answer to that question but would be really grateful for some advice.
TL;DR: | Gf gives me a cold shoulder more often than I think I deserve. Not sure whether to break up or try harder at making things work. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [24M] with my girlfriend [26F] of almost 1yr, wondering how to respond to some provocative statements on her part.
POST: Backstory:
Basically, my SO of almost 1yr has been rocking the boat this past month. She's thrown a number of my concerns about the relationship back in my face. Things were calm for two weeks, but, last night a number of issues resurfaced.
My heater went out at my apt (and its cold outside), so I asked my SO if I could stay with her, something I've done fairly regularly up until the past few weeks. She didn't seem to like the idea, and got rather hostile with me when I arrived. I called her on her attitude, and she said a number of pretty strange things. She said my staying over was a disruption in her schedule, that she normally didn't date during the semester, and that she wasn't sure if she is even built to be in a relationship. With regard to my nervousness and uncertainty about the relationship, she said she needed someone who could be certain. It was pretty late, so I asked her if we could talk in the morning. I told her I liked her, and that she's a pretty cool girl. She said I "was a really nice guy," then shut her bedroom door and went to bed.
Needless to say, I didn't sleep much. I left pretty early in the morning, wondering what to do about her comments. Everything she's said and done seems to indicate she doesn't want to date me, but she hasn't taken any of our heated conversations as opportunities to break up with me. I've been pretty nervous this past month; I only get to see her about once a week for an evening, and she happily fills the rest of her time with her friends. She says she needs someone who can be certain about our relationship, but her actions leave me anything but certain. She's not physically or emotionally intimate with me anymore, and resists any of my requests for more time with her. She flirts with her [30M] officemate on a regular basis, and spends a great deal of her time with him.
Why won't she just break up with me, if that's what she wants? Is this relationship salvageable? If so, what should I do?
TL;DR: | SO is indicating with her actions/comments she doesn't want to date me anymore, but won't just break up with me. Is this relationship salvageable? What should I do/say? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me (21F) with ex (23M), together 3 years, apart 5 months. Worried I'll never be loved again cause he moved a month after break up.
POST: edit: title should say (moved on a month after)
So me and my ex have class together but he usually doesn't go to that class. Today he came and sat a seat away from me. I didn't pay attention to him for the most part just tried to stay productive and want not. After class he asked me what I had been up to and stuff. We talked for a few moments and thats when i noticed the hickies on his neck form his new gf who he started seeing just a month after we broke up.
Now I am extremely upset and I'm not sure why exactly. We have been broken up for almost 5 months and I thought I was over everything. He broke up with me btw. We were together 3 years and I loved him dearly. I guess I'm upset still that he moved on so fast and seeing those hickies reminded me of that fact, and also that he is moved on and we don't have a future anymore and that he doesn't love me anymore.
I'm starting to worry that I'm never going to find someone again too and that no one will ever love me again because he moved on so fast to someone new and I haven't.
TL;DR: | saw ex after thinking I was over it, feel very upset now. Need some advise cause I feel like I will never be loved again. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Advice on this girls approach
POST: Sorry for the strange title.
~~I don't know what flair to assign (nor do I know how, on mobile) to this because~~ I am not currently dating her, would *love* to, but have no idea if it will ever happen and am content on just being friends anyway for now because I know she is hurting and healing so I'm definitely not pushing anything.
So this girl I have liked for the longest time was broken up with by her boyfriend a few months back. Since then she has kind of leaned on me for support, but I feel like I may be getting some strong signals from her.
I go to see maybe once or twice every week or two after a long day, or when I'm heading into town and she's finishing studying or working or whatever.
90% of the time I am greeted with a kiss on the cheek and a very long warm hug. Same with when I am leaving. Conversations have lots of eye contact, smiling, etc.
Then we have periods of time where we text and snapchat all day, every day, and weeks where it is just kind of slow and relaxed and low maintenance between us, with one of us sending an occasional message.
Almost every form of communication ends with a "love you", or "I love you" of some form, be it over the phone, in person, or in text, especially if it's been a while since seeing/talking to one another.
This is very new behavior. It used to just be confined to waving hi or bye whenever I saw her with her boyfriend and the occasional hug and chatting every now and then over text. And whenever things got bad between them for whatever reason she usually came to me for her guy advice, or just to rant.
I don't really know what I am asking, because I have had feelings for her for the longest time. But based on this information alone, would you say after a decent period of healing for her, she could possibly have interest in me? Or is this just something she is doing to be nice to me, or because we are just friends. I am probably content just keeping her in my life, but when my brain feels a chance with her I can hardly shake it.
TL;DR: | she's changed how she interacts with me after her boyfriend broke up with her: and it is in a very positive manner I think. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [18M] live with my father [upper forties?M] but he doesn't know I'm a guy.
POST: The only one in my family who knows I'm trans is my mother who I do not live with and mainly because she paid for my therapy [Anxiety initially]
I live with my father, and I've lived with him for less than a year. My brother (22) lives with us as well.
I am not too close to him, all things considered, and I know his side of the family is bigoted (I remember when Caitlyn was a hot topic I had to stand next to him while he and a family member talked about how weird and freaky it was, conversation dominated by the other family member) politically he 'can't support Hilary' but it is a topic I avoid so I don't know the ins and outs of what his big values are there.
Ideally I want to start getting on track to getting on T, but I can't move back in with my mother (space issues) so I can't afford being kicked out//mistreated horribly. All things considered I'd rather face dysphoria on my own than have negative consequences, but could it hurt our relationship more the longer I hold out? Or make it less believable?
TL;DR: | Fathers history leans towards unaccepting of my being trans, but is not a stone policy and I am unsure to tell him. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My [21M] GF [20F] of 1.5 years, wants to invite the guy she cheated on me with to her birthday party.
POST: So my GF cheated on me 8 months into our relationship (sexting) and I decided to stay and try to forgive her. This was a big thing for me, seeing as I have some trust issues due to my last girlfriend cheating also.
Things have been going OK since, as she vowed to break off all contact with the person she cheated with. However once she did meet with him and took a photo on Facebook which she untagged and lied about until I found it. She was previously friends with him for quite a while.
Maybe something irrelevant, but possibly relevant - she seems to lie about a lot of things, even little things like how much money she spends on things or if she goes out to places and says she's "studying" instead.
Anyways, now she has a 'big' birthday coming up, her 21st, and she is planning on inviting the said person, as she wants to invite everyone who has had an impact or been a significant part of her life.
I told her how I feel uncomfortable and unhappy about it and she told me that it's her birthday and it is quite important that he comes and that it will make her happy. She said that sometimes she has to put her happiness before mine and has essentially made up her mind. I know I don't have the right to say "no" but it would really affect me as I feel like she is choosing to invite the person whom she essentially almost ruined our relationship with, over my happiness and comfort.
I just need some advice, what should I do?
TL;DR: | GF previously cheated on me. She is having a significant birthday party and wants to invite the person who she cheated on me with. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [20 M] with my best friend [20 F] of 2 years. She can't choose between her boyfriend and me!
POST: We met our first week of college and have been seeing each other almost every day since, however she has a boyfriend (her first relationship, and has been going on for 5 years now)
Her boyfriend finally got fed up with us spending so much time together and told her that she couldn't be friends with me anymore. After she told me this I said to her that I love her and as awful as it sounds, she would have to choose between the two of us.
It's been a few weeks since then, and we've had very little contact (though we did have a couple of very long conversations about the whole ordeal and even kiss once). She clearly has feelings for me, and admits to it, but is afraid to move on. She said herself that she's had doubts about her boyfriend for a while, and feels that she's only with him because *he* wants to be with her, also that she's afraid to do the same to me.
She now plans to break up with her boyfriend or at least take a break to think things over, and in the meantime I offered to put my feelings on hold and help her through it as best I can (though admittedly, it's mainly just to spend time with her again).
Any advice would be appreciated.
TL;DR: | best friend can't choose between her current boyfriend and me. Clearly has feelings for both of us, but different kinds of feelings. |
SUBREDDIT: r/legaladvice
TITLE: [Maine] The school resource officer told my son that he is no longer allowed to drive his car to school because of an oil leak....?
POST: I'm pretty confused and frustrated.
My son's car is registered and inspected. Recently we noticed that a small pool of oil would be left underneath if the car was parked in one spot for a while. Turns out it needs a new oil pan. All the local mechanics are booked for a couple weeks, so we make an appointment for the beginning of June. No big deal.
Yesterday, I received a call from the high school resource officer that my son is no longer allowed to drive his car to school, because someone reported a pool of oil under his car, and his car is no longer allowed to be there until it is fixed. I informed her that his car was perfectly street legal, she still insisted.
I asked if there was any kind of law or local ordinance against it. She didn't say one way or the other, but said that what she was saying was "valid" because the oil leak posed an environmental hazard.
She went on to say that if his car showed up again in the parking lot, it would be towed at my son's expense, and they would have to contact the fire department to clean up the oil. Uh, what?
I asked if it was illegal for the car to be on the road at all and she said no, he could drive it anywhere he wanted, just not to the high school.
I will not bore you with our conflicting work schedules and such, but let me just say that my son having his own mode of transportation is important to the functioning and autonomy of this family.
I called around to all the mechanics again but none were able to get my son's car in any sooner.
TL;DR: | School resource officer says my son's car will be towed and the fire department dispatched because of minor oil leak, no laws or ordinances have been cited to me. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [25 M] with my GF[30F] 3 Months, I did something wrong.. what should I do?
POST: Our relation ship is very odd..She's still getting out of a relationship with her ex boyfriend and they still live together. I'm self conscious and I feel I don't deserve her at times.
Anyways, I did something wrong and I need some advice on how to go about it.
I'm out with a group of my friends to a video game event and got invited to an after party. It was basically a club setting with drinks and what not.
My friend (single) points out to me that we should talk to those two girls standing there. Not really wanting to back down as his wingman, I obliged (first mistake). We went up to them and started talking to them. This lead to some drinks and pretty much dancing.
It ended up being dirty dancing. Now this is the dilemma I'm facing. I felt really bad after to a point where I feel that she doesn't deserve to be with somebody like me. I really like her a lot.. and I know I messed up bad.
Currently shes on a cruise with her family and won't be back for another 8 days. I'm going through anxiety and I feel I will have trouble working until I tell her.
If she wants to stay with me, I don't know if I could let her.. and if she breaks up with me I will accept it and move on.
Should I let her stay with me if she wants? How should I approach her with this?
TL;DR: | I danced with another girl while she was on a cruise. I don't want her to stay with a guy like me. I suck. what should I do? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [22 F] with my boyfriend [28 M] for one year, i have enough to fight with him about stupid things. What should i do ?
POST: I'm 22 and I have a boyfriend he is 28 years we are together since one year. But I have a problem I have enough of our fight because of stupid things. I don't know what to do.
Since one year that we are together, I'm happy with him because I love him. But sometimes I have enough when we have a fight about stupid things, and we have that maybe almost every week.
Sometimes it's about things like the fact that I support and like something about actor or sports and he critic me. He too support some people and I have never critic his choice.
We can like what we like.
After we had a fight about world cup when I said that I wasn't supporting one team, and the team it's one because of his origin. And he critic me, called me many bad words , said that I'm racist and some other things. But I'm not like that.
I can't defend myself if I defend myself he continue to critic me and call me bad names.
I had a break from him for a little time because of that.
We have come back together but we continue to have fight because of some subjects (politic, wars, religion, and other things) I don't care about these subject. And he continue to critic me.
And also he doesn't support me about my studies (he critic me, he doesn't support me, s he just critic me, me I'm not critic about the fact that he doesn't a have a job), he doesn't help me or confort me (when I have problem and that I need him for cheer me up.)
I have enough also when he use the bad humor ( black humor) about death and everything.
I have enough to deal with all of this, sometimes I get sick after our fight. Mentally & Physically I have enough even if I love him.
I don't know what should I do. I'm lost. I have enough. I don't think I can deal with this for a long time.
TL;DR: | My boyfriend and I have fight about stupid things. I have enough of that. And it's like that since that we are together. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Arguements between me [19 M] with my Mam and Dad [47 F],[50 M]
POST: Right now where to begin. A few years ago my mam for several medical reasons (two strokes) developed a form of epilepsy, which causes her to go on wandering fits. This comes with its own set of problems when these come around like harsh swings in mood a day or so after such an event. The problem is she will have moments where she will bite at people and say things that hurt people, even if she hasn't had this fit. My Dad says that this is just who she is now and we will have to put up with it, but it upsets me greatly. But the other night she threaten to not find my certificates for UCAS if I didn't hover up down stairs.... yeah that hurt just a little.
Now this is where the problem is, when I try to bring up it.... it always ends up in a shouting match between me and my dad. Today my dad even went as far as too ask "Are you even human?".... yeah he said that. Now a bit of a back story on me I am dyspraxic so I am not always so.... mature at handling my emotions, granted that's no excuse and there's alot I need to learn. Sometimes I don't even grasp why, as I am introverted. I just my mam to stop making me miserable.
TL;DR: | I am having constant arguments with my mam and dad. Am I being selfish in the case that my mam has epilepsy? Is there any advice you could give me to help? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: [21/F] Current relationship [21/M] at a stalemate ; got to know someone new [22/M]
POST: Current r/s - we've been seeing each other for a year and a half. Feels more like brother-sister relationship to me; Most people also thought we're brother and sister when we go out unless we are touchy with each other. He's close to my family, met my friends, super understanding and sweet. Thing is - both of us are busy with our own lives. We still talk, but not as much. Also, we're almost complete opposites in terms of hobbies and lifestyles and how we behave and dress etc. He's proper (like he doesn't smoke etc) while I'm alternative (i'm into piercings, tattoos and all). It's probably that I'm way more understanding about his hectic work lifestyle as compared to his ex.
And then BAM! I met someone new in the last month - a friend's friend. Started talking to each other within a group context, and then I went out to dinner with him one day and we started talking more and more and more. Realised how similar we are with each other in terms of preference, alternative lifestyle, our 'commitment issues', how we want to just get out of here and travel etc. So he's straight up sayin that he's interested in me, I'm like ok, i'm still seeing someone else though. Also told my original dude that I've just met someone new - he's ok with us going out as friends but um honestly it wouldn't tally up cos all of us know that he's sorta interested in me right. Plus my friends thought that I was attached to this new dude when they saw us chatting together back when it was still a group context kinda thing.
TL;DR: | Was dating someone for one year but I feel we are too different. Met someone new and we're so similar and I would like to explore more.. NOW WHAT? |
SUBREDDIT: r/travel
TITLE: Where to go with a little over $2000
POST: So Reddit I was wondering if you could help my find a nice place to go with a little over $2000.
I guess a little bit about me so that your advice might be more directed I guess. I just turned 16 years old and for my birthday my parents promised to give me 2k to take myself and one other person(probably one of them) on a trip somewhere in the world. After some research I've discovered that airfare is...well...expensive...and ive landed on Istanbul. However, I figured with reddits large user-base there might be someone who has a cooler destination..or advice on going somewhere...Anyways, thank you for reading and replying.
TL;DR: | 16 year old got 2k for birthday to go somewhere with one other person where can I go to get the most bang for my buck? |
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU by talking about friends mother who had passed away.
POST: So Geoff Ramsey and Gavin Free from Roosterteeth/Achievement Hunter present a lot of hypothetical situations to each other and see how the other would react.
One of the situations was, 'Your mum and your girlfriend switch bodies. Mother in girlfriend's body, vice versa. The only way to reverse this, was to have sex with one of them'
This was in highschool, so I would walk around talking to people, and I would remember the situation and ask people. Have a laugh.
I get to my one friend, Ben. He's just sitting there with his girlfriend at the time.
Before popping the question, I remember that his mum passed away when he was quite young, so I need to find some way around this because I would love to hear his thought.
Because I'm a fucking dumbass, without thinking I go, "Alright, just pretend you have a mum for a sec"
Most awkward 30 seconds of silence while his girlfriend stood there jaw dropped and I was trying to figure out how to follow up.
Because he's a good friend he knew I didn't mean to say that and he knows I'm an idiot, so shout out to him.
TL;DR: | Told my friend who's mother passed away to pretend he had a mum for a second so I could ask him a hypothetical question. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: What's your favorite "Oh Shit" moment, that turned out okay?
POST: When I was about 9 or 10, I got up in the middle of the night to pee. When I went to turn on the lights in my room, nothing happened. I also flipped on the ceiling fan switch for good measure, and nothing happened again. I realized the power must have been out, and went to the bathroom, and went back to bed, unknowingly leaving both switches turned on. A few hours later, the power came back on, and the light above me turned on, as well as the fan on HIGH, and abruptly woke me up. For a few seconds, I did not know what was going on, and saw the bright lights and felt the wind hitting my face, and I thought I was being abducted by aliens. I started to freak out and was about to sprint the fuck out of my room, and then realized what really had happened.
TL;DR: | Got up in the middle of the night to pee, lights and fan turned on when I was sleeping, and I thought the aliens had come for me. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: This girl [17F] is thinking about breaking up with her boyfriend [18M] because I'm [17M] her dream guy, there's only one problem...
POST: She lives 550km away from me.
We met a while ago (in a beach while surfing, about 7 months ago) and we've hit off like I've never hit off before, we're best friends and we've said multiple times that we are each other's dream person. She started dating a guy to "get over me" but she says she can't be with him without thinking of me, and that she thinks she should break up with him.
I feel pretty strongly for her, even though we haven't seen each other since that magical week in which we met. After I'm done with exams (3 weeks) I'll visit her, a 3-day-weekend, it'll be valentine's day. Everything seems to line up so perfectly...
I think I should chase after her, but I just wanted to see if you guys ever had any experience like this (LDRs), and if it's worth it (I think it is, but I'm too naïve and biased).
TL;DR: | Girl of my dreams lives far away, we both say we are eachother's perfect match. She lives about 3h away in an express train. Should I go for an LDR? |
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU By sticking a pin in a computer power cord...at school.
POST: okay so this happened in grade 9 (i was 14) in my high school in Australia. So in the morning we had a class before the classes actually started, not sure how they do school in America so i don't know what they call this or if they even have one so in this class i was very board and found a thumb pin next to me, i immediately had a stroke of genius to stick it in the mouse cord and of course it stopped working i thought this was a cool thing so i did it to the keyboard and the same thing happened. Now before you read anymore remember i was very tired and when I'm tired I'm dumb as f. So i saw the thick as power cord and thought to myself in a moment of pure genius what would happened if i stuck this metal pin in a power cord, so i did it and as i pressed it in i got excited then suddenly i heard a loud BANG like a fucking gunshot and the cord is gone and my arm is vibrating, as i sat there in complete shock i thought to myself fuck I'm going to have to pay for this but then the pain kicked in, and oh my god did it hurt. so after a bit of talking with the office ladies i was sent home then to the doctors where he called me slightly stupid and said i had a 3rd degree electrical burn in the top part of my thumb and that there was a possibility i could have died...yeh. the weird thing was i never got in trouble, only the teachers teased me for a bit and a lot of people in the school called me thunder thumb. and it took a while to heal and the computer is still there 3 years later. fuck I'm dumb sometimes
TL;DR: | Had a stroke of genius and stuck a thumb pin in a power cord at school, got a 3rd degree burn, got teased and almost died :D |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My (22M) co-worker/colleague is bringing her (30?F) baby (2 weeks) to work
POST: Not sure if this is the right subreddit; please let me know if I should post elsewhere.
I recently began my Ph.D. studies at a university and am working as a graduate student researcher in a lab. There is a postdoc who is also relatively new to the lab who just had a baby about ~~a week~~ 2 weeks ago.
The details are somewhat unclear but from what others have said, her husband was supposed to stay home with the baby. "Something happened" and she told our supervisor that it's no longer possible for her husband to care for the baby. When she showed up to work it was immediately obvious that she had been hit in the face, so all signs point to a domestic violence situation.
She has her own office down the hall so we only see her for various meetings and whatnot. She has been showing up to these meetings with her baby attached to her in a cloth carrier thing. Yesterday, she revealed her breasts to feed the baby mid-meeting.
She is not originally from the US (where we're located) so I don't know if there is a cultural issue and she thinks it's appropriate to bring her baby to work with her, but obviously this is completely unacceptable. Our supervisor seems to be playing dumb and pretending this is not happening as he has not acknowledged it in any way. He is also a very socially awkward person.
I have been discussing the situation with the other graduate students and postdocs in the lab and we all agree this is wildly inappropriate. Should one of us talk to the postdoc/mom about this directly, or go to our supervisor? How do we bring this up? What should we say that isn't insensitive but gets the point across?
TL;DR: | Coworker bringing baby to work, supervisor seems to be pretending it's not happening. Who to talk to and what to say? |
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU by talking to my roommates with semen on my head [NSFW]
POST: So long story short is that I live in a college apartment with 3 other guys. To get to the bathroom I have to go through my common room, so this morning i decided i wanted to 'relieve' myself. Naturally I got my computer and headed to the bathroom. Both of my roommates were in the common room when I walked into the bathroom so i assumed they knew what I was doing, I didn't care, so I started my business.
So sometimes after I haven't 'relieved' my self in a while things can get pretty explosive down there. And that is exactly what happened....
Not expecting it, it went a little bit on my shirt and i thought that was the only place i got it. Not wanting to walk out like a disgusting mess i cleaned off my shirt thinking I was presentable to walk to my room, for i had to change my shirt.
This is were I fucked up, I didn't feel it but i guess I splooged so hard some shot over my and onto my head.
Not knowing it was there I left the bathroom and headed to my room to change. But trying to be sneaky and play off as if i didn't just jack off, i engaged in dialogue with my roommate (who was sitting in the common room)
Thinking all went well i went into my room, and while i was changing i touched it. Thats when everything clicked and now here i am.....
TL;DR: | I came so hard some jizz landed on my head without me knowing and i talked to my roommates not knowing it was there. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Girl [F/18] turned me [M/20] down because she was dating someone. I think that might be over now.
POST: Hey everyone. So, a while ago, I asked out a girl. She politely said no, because she was dating a guy and she thought it might turn into something, but she said I was cute.
So, about a month later, we still act the same as before I asked her out. She just cut almost all of her hair off, she looks like Mia Farrow, which doesn't seem like something you would do if you were still in the feeling out stages of a relationship. As far as I know from Facebook and talking to friends, she is still single. Also, it's been a month.
I know the right answer is probably to just ask her, but I don't want to ask if she's still seeing someone because I think that might make me look bad. Does it seem like she's not dating this guy anymore? Should I ask her out again or wait for her to say something to me? Or just wait?
TL;DR: | I asked out a girl, she turned me down nicely because she was seeing someone. I think that might be over, how should I proceed? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Dating multiple people and sex [24, M]
POST: Hi, I've been single for a few months now and have entered the wonderful world of online dating. I recently (two weeks ago) went for cocktails with a girl [24, F] and had a great time, talked, flirted, though the date ended with a cheek kiss. I texted her the day after and asked if she'd like to meet up again to see a film and she said she'd like to and would see what was on in the next couple of weeks. However, then I got radio silence for several days. I then sent her a text asking if she was still up for a film but still got nothing for a couple of days so I figured she actually wasn't interested.
I ended up meeting up with another girl [22, F] and we had a one night stand (protected of course). Then the first girl texts me again and says she still wants to meet for the film, that she had been ill and apologised for being shit at getting in contact. My question is this: IF we do end up going on another date (I hope we do, though I'm not putting all my hopes and dreams on this) and IF we continue dating, am I obligated to tell her that I had slept with someone else in the between-time?
I'd like to make it clear that I'm not obsessing over whether or not things work out, I'd just like to know what the "right thing to to do" would be in these early dating situations when occasional casual sex happens.
TL;DR: | Went on date with girl, had casual sex with another girl a week later as didn't think first girl was interested. Now first girl wants another date. Should I let her know? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [21/F] feeling a little bored and sad with my bf [21/M] What can we do together that's fun ?
POST: So me [21/F] and my bf [21/M] have been together a little over 2 years. I love him and I love spending time with him. We are semi-long distance. (about 1 our away and I see him maybe 2 weekends out of the month) Recently I've just been feeling really bored and disappointed :( We started off kinda casual about what we expect from each other but I've realized that I would really like change things up now and then.
I just want him to branch out more and I have talked to him about occasional romantic date nights or doing more fun outings. (like going on a hiking trail or going to an orchard etc.) He is taking these things into consideration but I'm just not sure if he's really gonna act on them. He is really not much of a planner... Him and his family did a cross country road trip without booking anything more than 24 hours in advance... (This drives me insane, I love to plan...)
He has been really busy rushing for a frat (I'm in Greek life too so I get it) but his frat hazes a lot so when I come over sometimes he is gone and I just stay at his place because I don't know anyone in town... :(
TL;DR: | So basically what are some new ways in which my bf and I can enjoy each others company outside of the home? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: ~90% certain my [19 M] girlfriend [18 F] cheated on me
POST: This last Thursday I was noticing some strange behaviors from my girlfriend. She was taking a bit longer to respond to texts and when I'd use any sort of emote, she would not return the emote as she has done every single time without fail before then. Then she went off the grid for five hours, only to resume the conversation as if no time had passed. Then the following texts took place:
* Me: Is everything alright?
* Her: I just don't deserve you at all
* Me: Is that everything? You've just been taking a bit longer to respond lately and haven't been enthusiastic in your replies. I want to ensure that everything's okay
* Her: Yeah no I'm good sorry I just have a lot on my plate right now and I don't feel like me and I don't like myself right now
* Her: It's so so so not anything against you so don't worry about that
* Me: Okay. I hope you know that you're always welcome to talk with me about anything on your plate or anything you're going through
* Her: I'm sorry thank you so much for being so understanding
I then went on to ask if there was anything in particular that was wrong, and she went on a long rant about usal things like being broke, getting fat and being ugly, but I don't know if that's legitimate. She wasn't the most loyal to her ex (who to be fair was abusive and in her own words, she "never really liked him or saw him as a boyfriend"), but I've been nothing but kind to her and she's the one that's always been worried that I'll find someone better and leave her. Don't know what to make of this, but "I don't deserve you" and "I don't like myself right now" seem like the words of a girl who has something to hide.
TL;DR: | Girlfriend all of a sudden became less enthusiastic with replying and went off the grid for over five hours, afterwards saying nothing was wrong; only that she "doesn't deserve me" and "doesn't like herself right now." |
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