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SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: As a [30s M], I'm being asked personal questions by my nosy [22 F] colleague and she won't give up.
POST: I have a colleague who's been asking me several personal questions and I'm not sure whether it's because she's nosy and a gossip since she already told something I told her to another colleague, or whether she's a potential threat. I don't know whether or not this colleague was taught manners or if it's in her nature to get into everyone's business but lately she's asked details like:
- where I live
- which transit station I go to
- which bus I take
- what time is my bus (she asked it Friday)
- if I live in an apartment or a house
- which month my birthday is in
- my age
- made a comment how nice a coat was I was wearing and how expensive it was (it was expensive but I didn't pay for it)
etc.
I've given her some details already but I don't feel comfortable giving out more and it's putting a strain on our working relationship. The other day she asked, if you don't mind a personal question, how old are you? (And you know what, I do mind, in part because I am much older than her and other colleagues, although and act younger) I tried dodging the question with a hint saying I was hassled by a doorman a few years ago and asked for ID and she guessed a number, and then hassled me the rest of the shift for the precise number. I have my reasons for not giving my exact age and especially not date of birth, and one of them is privacy.
TL;DR: | How do you deal with overly curious people, especially those you have to work with, who try to stick their noses in your business and won't relent until you give them what they're looking for? |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Recruiters of Reddit, I have a dilemma, was hoping someone could help?
POST: Hi, So I have received a job offer from a company I did an internship for yesterday and they want me to start as soon as possible so they are asking me to decide if I want the role sometime today or tomorrow. It's a great company, great position it is just that it is a contract role and depending on how I do here I can get a full time role later on. I'm familiar with the company and think I can do a great job here.
HOWEVER, I also applied to a different company. The problem is I THINK I'll get an interview but there is no guarantee. I went to a recruitment session and I had a great time there, I think I absolutely impressed many of the important people there. My friend who I applied to the same role, got rejected already and I have not heard back. My guess is that because the application deadline for this job is September 29, they are going to wait until they have all the applications before deciding when to interview everyone. While I am confident (but not sure) I will get an interview, there is no guarantee at all I will get the job. The job is very similar, except it is a full time role and is in the downtown area of my city a place in which I'd love to live one day. It really is the ideal role (my next ideal role would be a full time offer from the company I got the offer from).
What should I do Reddit, and how should I proceed?
TL;DR: | Have one job offer on the table that needs to be responded to by today; and waiting to even just interview(not even sure if I'll get that) for another role I REALLY want. What do I do? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: What should I (f/20) do about this situation
POST: I (F/20) was talking to a co-worker (F/21) the other day and the conversation about a guy (M,21) I was starting to date came up. They seem like very good friends and they spend a ton of time together.
But, she told me this long (and somewhat sketchy) story about how he raped/molested her at a party once. I feel like I should take her seriously but her story isn't 100% adding up (for example; her plotline doesn't add up, where it happened keeps changing and who was around is never consistent). She also proceeded to talk trash about him. Towards the end, she told me that we should never date and that I should probably not be his friend even.
Should I listen to her warning and avoid him or should I just pass it off? I don't really know what to do and it's stressing me out a lot because I really like this guy and he seems really nice. I feel like I should believe her story but something about it seems weird and not right. They seem like such good friends and I'd be seriously surprised if he actually molested her like she claimed and have them still be really good friends. But at the same time, if it's true, I feel really uncomfortable dating him.
TL;DR: | A friend of the guy I'm dating told me a sketchy story about him and I'm not sure if I should believe it or not and if I should look into it a bit. |
SUBREDDIT: r/needadvice
TITLE: How to be social in High School if I'm kind of a loser?
POST: So I'm kinda depressed, I've been to r/depression and r/SuicideWatch, and I'm not gonna kill myself any time soon, I think it would be foolish and wasteful to throw away almost all of my life for how my high school experience is going so that's why I'm not posting there for help.
I'm here to ask the social people of reddit, how do I actually talk to people? I've put myself in a position (almost completely my fault) where I have spent the last 4 years of my life slowly becoming quiet and shy, and rarely talking to anyone in my school. I've gotten to the point where Ive made about 5 good friends (woohoo) but I cannot seem to talk to anyone who I'm not directly introduced to, since I've (technically) been in the same classes with them for 4 years, and just never spoke to them. I know who everyone in my class is, and I'm pretty sure they know me back, I just kinda sit silently an don't talk to anyone. I think it would be extremely awkward to just start talking to some dude who's sat near me for years as if we're two strangers meeting for the first time.
So yeah, I'd rather not become a lifeless vegetable before college, and I would like to actually have some form of social interaction with others.
TL;DR: | I can't talk to other people, I'm totally and unnervingly socially awkward. I'm kinda upset about it, any tips? |
SUBREDDIT: r/dating_advice
TITLE: New girl in my grade who I want to become friends with, I don't want to fuck this up again. Help?
POST: **This is no longer relevant since she now has a boyfriend, I have completely given up hope for the future,**
Last spring I tried to befriend a girl and I'm pretty sure I fucked up. I tried talking to her on Facebook and she apparently thought that was creepy so I quickly gtfo before it got bad. She still refuses to admit she said that I was creepy but I overheard one of her friends mentioning it so I know its true. But this year there is a girl who seems really nice and she hangs out with a group of girls that I get along with (the other girl didn't) so that might help. Anyway she is new to my grade this year and always has a smile on her face when talking to anyone. I went to Busch Gardens with a bunch of people and she was there, I talked to her a little bit and she even laughed at a couple of my jokes. However she seemed to be more interested in talking to this other guy in my grade, at one point the two ran off from the group to go on the same roller coaster again but then again I remember that he has a reputation for flirting with every girl he talks to and never actually dating any of them. So I'm confused about all of that. I added her on Facebook and she accepted however I have not tried talking to her via that yet. **So Reddit, my question is: How do I go about all of this without fucking it up and looking creepy?** I want to become friends with her before doing anything but even I have trouble doing that. I really don't want to fuck this up again.
TL;DR: | New girl comes to my school who I want to befriend, I don't want to fuck it up so what do I do? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [32 F] feeling like a third wheel with my bf [26 M] and his friend [29 F] after threesome with her
POST: We have been together for 2.5 years, and have a house together. I agreed to have a threesome with my SO, as I like to try new things. One of my requests at the time was that I didn't ever have to see her again if I felt uncomfortable.
We met a friend of a friend, and we seduced her over the course of a month or so. We had 2 threesomes (as we were very drunk the first time). During that time, my SO became very good friends with the other woman.
I said I didn't want to continue having sex with her, so we moved to a platonic friendship. She now comes over to our house a lot, and we hang out. When she is around, I feel like an outsider. She is very close with my SO, very attractive and funny/intelligent.
She occasionally does small things which annoy me (e.g. she sits next to him, they have in-jokes and she invited herself to one of his work things), but neither of them have done anything obviously inappropriate. When we are out or at parties, they tend to stick together and chat in the corner together.
He says he loves me, which I believe. He says he doesn't see her that way any more, which I believe less. He doesn't have many friends, so I don't want to stop him seeing her, but at the moment it feels like she's an extra person in my relationship, and she's doing much better than me.
I've spoken to him about it a bit, but I never feel like I have a proper resolution and I still resent her presence in my home.
What should I do? Accept their relationship & get over it? Break up with him so he can be happy with her? Ban her from my house?? (I don't want to do that)
TL;DR: | Threesome gets predictably complicated. How do I reconcile my jealousy and wanting my SO to be happy with his new friend? |
SUBREDDIT: r/cats
TITLE: Looking for some advice regarding cat Eye infections or Entropions. Can any Vets or people with experience help me with this?
POST: Hi everyone. I'm desperate and looking for some advice about eye infections in cats.
So a little background, about 2 months ago my cat Gibson developed some kind of eye infection. I hoped it would go away on its own but after a few days I decided to take him to the vet. My vet never saw an ulcer or a lesion of any kind but he had a really bad entropion, so we began treating him with various eye drops, be it anti-bacterial, anti-viral or anything else that may help.
Fast forward a month and after weekly visits and changes to his medications and we've seen no improvements. We decide to board him at the vet's office for better more consistent treatment. After 10 days they send him home and decide that if his eye isn't looking better in a week that the doctor will tack his eye to make sure the entropion does not effect the healing of his eye.
Welp a week later there had been some improvement but the vet didn't think it was enough so we begin the eye surgery. The doctor sent Gibson home last week with an E collar to keep him from messing with his stitches. I had to go out of town for a few days for school. I made sure my best friend and roommate were able to take care of and medicate him properly while I was gone.
Finally, I get back today and examine Gibson's eye. He is keeping the infected eye open more for sure which is great but he was displaying severe depressed-like behavior. I take off the cone and that's when I notice he is not opening his good eye anymore. I peel it open and it appears that there is now another entropion in what was his good eye.
I am completely lost and feel helpless that after treating him or 2 months and spending close to or more than a thousand dollars that he is really not getting much better. Has anyone experienced anything similar to this?
TL;DR: | Cat has entropion, there is some improvement after months of treatment and surgery but now the other eye looks like it's developing another entropion. Sad, desperate and needing some advice. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: M(24) having issues with her F(22) guy friend
POST: We've been together about two months now. I've always felt a little off about the guy but nothing too crazy. Long story short she tells me that she use to have feelings for the guy years ago. That alone really wasn't an issue for me. But she also wants to spend two weeks backpacking with this guy in Europe. There good friends and talked about going before we got together. Am I crazy for not being okay with this?
I'm thinking about just breaking things off with each other if she goes through with it. It's not fair for me to tell her not to do things, but it's also not fair to put me into this position. Of course I plan on talking with her before I go to that as an option.
This sucks, this is a really great relationship other than this. She really is amazing and I'm also not mad at her, she has nothing but the best intentions and I know she really doesn't want anything with this guy. BUT, life isn't that simple and things happen and I see this becoming an issue for us as a couple in the future.
TL;DR: | Vacation with a guy friend she use to have feelings for. Am I crazy/10 for not being okay with this? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: [23/f] I dated [24/m] off and on for 6 months I moved to a diff country so I told him we had to stop talking. Just want to know I made the right decision.
POST: Honestly I think this is silly I'm asking for advice online but my family and friends are getting me nowhere. I'll be back home in 4 months and don't have a set amount of time before I come back to the country I'm in now. We casually dated, nothing serious but after 6 months I like him a lot and would be totally into having a real relationship labels and all. Being that I'm thousands of miles away I told him I just couldn't talk to him anymore and it's obvious that I like him more than he likes me though not to an extreme.
Was I right in cutting it off? By the time I'm home we'd have been talking but not exclusive for 10 months and to me that just seems ridiculous to me. The last thing either one of us want is long distance, we both think it's dumb, I don't want to fall for someone who isn't my boyfriend nor lives in my country. My family and friends seems to think I should just make it work.
TL;DR: | I moved away and still really liked a guy from back home but cut it off because of escalating feelings on my part. I feel this was the right choice but seems I'm alone. Advice? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My [24F] boyfriend's [27M] mother [55F] was just diagnosed with cancer and has an extremely bad outlook. Is it ridiculous to seriously consider getting married and/or have a baby in the very near future?
POST: We've been together 2.5 years, lived together for probably 1.5 yrs of that. We're very serious about each other and both want (and have discussed) the future in which we get married and/or have kids.
His mother has a 10% chance of survival past 4 years and this news has been absolutely devastating to us. I am very close to his parents (I don't speak to mine) and he is an only child so they are quite a tight knit group (which they have graciously allowed me into). I feel like I have a real family now and know for sure that I want to have children so that they can experience being grandparents (on top of all of my own personal reasons of course).
His mother has mentioned once kind of half-jokingly that it would be better for her if she could have something to live for, like us getting married or having a baby.
His dad doesn't really have anyone else and a grandchild would certainly give him something to be happy about if worst to comes worst. (That sounds horrible. Maybe this really is a crazy stupid idea...)
Anyway, one more large spanner in the works: BF and I live a continent and an ocean away from his parents. He's gone to stay with them for an indeterminable amount of time. I visited for about a week and then had to come back home for work.
TL;DR: | BF's mum has aggressive cancer and a low chance of survival. We both thought of getting married and/or having a baby and I'm starting to think about it more seriously, am I crazy? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I (m18) dont know about gf(18f)'s feelings. Help!
POST: I've been in a relationship for over a year with my girlfriend. Recently it was bad and I decided to leave her. I immediatlt regretted it and asked her to take me back!
After that, she told me she needed some time before speaking to me again. I left her time and one night she told me she wanted to see me and talk.
We talked about our past relationship and how I was too jealous and how we made bad decisions.
We agreed to set new rules in our relationship and I made a list of things I and her would do and what we shouldnt do and stuff like that! Also, I completely stopped being jealous!
This happened about a week ago and now we see each other every 2 days or so and we have fun and hang out without smoking weed( we used to smoke pot a lot together!)
Now every time we see each other she tells me not to trt and go too fast because something has been broken and that timecll fix it but even tho, she doesnt want to promess anything.not to deceive me too much!
She tells me she has difficulty coming towards me for hugs and kisses, but sometimes she wants to. Tho, when she doesnt want to and I do she feels like im pressing on her and trying to skip steps.
She keeps telling me to let time do its things but i am seriously getting depressed over this and don't want to let go as she is telling me there is still and chance and that she still is in love with me.
I don't want to wait too long and keep asking her to try and do like we were doing before so we could see if it still works but she only wants to let time do things.
What am i to do?
TL;DR: | i am not sure about wether or not itll still work for her, but i know im ready to start off like we were used to |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me[20M/F] with my boyfriend [21M] for almost 8 months, and I'm struggling with "those three words"
POST: My boyfriend, and also long time friend, have been together a decent span of time for two people who have trust issues, and despite a lot of rocky times. A major difference between the two of us is that my issues come from a lot of experience of being royally f***ed over by almost every man I've been with. His stem from a complete lack of experience in women, and in any sort of close relationship with another human being. I am literally the only person he has ever had a close relationship to.
I have been in love before. I know what it feels like and I know I love him. After all the conflict and rockiness and the recent smoothing out of all that, I am now struggling with how to tell him that I love him.
Now, while I don't doubt he cares very much for me and I know how much it has taken for him to open up as much to me as he has and vice versa, I go back and forth as to whether I'm actually convinced his feelings run as deep. And if they do, I'm not wholly convinced that he is aware that he loves me, in so many words. This would be a whole new concept to him, and I'm afraid if I tell him, he will panic.
Am I right to be concerned that maybe he will bail out of pure panic? Has anyone been in this situation before? Any advice on handling this situation?
TL;DR: | Boyfriend is completely inexperienced in close relationships. I want to tell him I love him, but am concerned that he might panic because he has never been in love and may not even know he loves me. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Gf [24] said she had not been with anyone before me [M23], now 1.5 years later she tells me otherwise.
POST: When we started out 1.5 years ago she told me that she had one boyfriend before me but that it was a LDR and they never did anything sexually. I on the other hand told her every person I had been with and how far I went with each person when we strarted off. I answered every question truthfully when she asked, and she had a lot of questions. When I asked her she repeatedly said I was the first person she did anything even remotely sexual with, and I believed her.
Two days ago she asked me for my Facebook password, which she has been after since the beginning, but I always said no and asked that she trust me without having to snoop. But two days ago, I gave in and let her have it. She didn't find anything except for an old conversation with my ex, which I didn't even know was there because I never bothered to delete anything. She was a little upset with the old message and deleted it. I said to her that the only people who suspect others without reason are those who themselves have something to hide.
So this morning she tells me that there was one time she visited her ex and gave him a blow job, and that's all that happened. I am okay with that because I had done things before her too. However the fact that she hid this from me and repeatedly told me that she hadn't been with anyone before kind of bothers me. We had already decided that we will marry each other, and now I feel like I don't know her. I trusted her completely and took her every word as the truth, and now I don't know if I can trust her fully again. I know this might not be that big of a deal to some of you but I cant help but feel lied to and I don't know what else she has lied about. Am I wrong to feel this way?
TL;DR: | She told me for 1.5 yrs that she she hadn't done anything sexual before me, now she tells me she gave her ex one BJ. I don't care about the BJ, I am unhappy she lied to me. |
SUBREDDIT: r/personalfinance
TITLE: Wife and I want to take our honeymoon after 5 years of marriage, whats the best way to fund an international trip?
POST: Hey there /r/personalfinace. My wife and I are both 25, married for 5 years and we'd like to finally get outside of the country. We make a combined $60k, but aside from a TSP and emergency fund, we don't have any real savings to spend.
We'd like to take a trip to Japan. I'm military, so space-A flights are possible...but they kind of suck. We're expecting a total price tag of $5-6,000 for two weeks in Japan, with airfare if I go the standard route.
That being said...how do we afford this? We're trying to have children soon, so most of our savings will be going towards that endeavor. I know its not super responsible, but is taking out a loan or opening a credit card for just one trip a bad idea?
Further more, what type of card would be the best value if we only plan on using it for this one trip? I was looking at the Chase Sapphire Preferred, but it looks like in order to get its benefits you have to spend a couple thousand prior to getting the travel money they offer. That being said, 0% interest 'till mid 2017 sounds waaaaaaay better than 8.5% on a personal loan that USAA could get us.
So...any thoughts?
TL;DR: | young couple with not a lot of money want to take a $5-6,000 trip to Japan without dipping into savings. Is that possible, and what is the best way to do it? |
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU by trying to film a fight
POST: I live in a kinda bad neighborhood so sometimes ghetto shit goes on outside. Today two black girls had another one up against a minivan in front of my apartment and they were hitting her in the face over and over. Instead of helping or doing anything my first reaction was to take out my phone and try to film. It ended before I could get my phone out and the beat up girl was crying on the sidewalk for a bit.
I told a girl I've been trying to hook up with what happened and when she asked me why I was trying to film it instead of trying to help the girl I didn't really have an answer...I told her I didn't want to go downstairs. She told me she thought I was better then that and then walked out. I think I blew it guys. I also think I've watched too much worldstarhiphop and it warped my brain.
TL;DR: | I witnessed a girl get her ass beat and instead of helping i tried filming. Girl I wanna bang thinks I'm scummy for it and now probably wont bang me. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [34 M] with my parents [62 M/F] - they decided to buy a condo in my complex with a balcony facing mine
POST: Please tell me I am sane in reacting like this... Earlier this year I bought my first home (a condo). I had my parents over to show them what I got and they fell in love with it... Long story short I am in the middle of an expensive renovation, I picked out a new kitchen and tile floor and paint ... and last Monday I get a phone call from my Mom: " We hired a realtor and she showed us a unit in your complex and we are going to make an offer" .... I was floored. I told her not to do it and they don't understand why I'm against it. Come to find out their balcony faces mine, we share the same pool, same guard gate, and their management office is in my building. I'm so upset and sad... Please tell me I'm reacting normally. I'm beside myself and feel like I completely lost my privacy, independence, and also feel a sense of betrayal since they won't listen to my concerns. I'm pretty sure they are under contract as of today. They still think I am over reacting and it'll just pass. I'm ready to finish the construction as soon as I can and sell the place :(
TL;DR: | Moved to a condo, parents fell in love with complex, now they are buying a condo that faces my balcony and share my pool. Am I over reacting when I feel stripped of my privacy and independence :( ? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [21M] with my EX [21F] 2 Years, Long painful passionate relationship came to an end, she's changed into a completely different person
POST: Me and my ex have been broken up for about 3 months now after a long 2 years of just clinging on to the smallest of hope and pushing on but it just ended recently because I lied to her and I completely understand her leaving and took it on the chin.
Even though I hurt her, she seems to have changed in every way. She was always an innocent girl and was never one to sleep around but since we've broken up she's been using dating apps purely to find sexual partners, she's slept with a family member of mine and when we talk her emotions are extremely volatile and heated.
I'm not over her really but I understand that i'm not right for her cause i'm still immature but she loved me with everything she had and I know her better than anyone. I know what she does these days is nothing to do with me, and I'm happy for her, but i'm struggling to come to terms with how she's acting and I dont really know how to take it.
I don't want her back, I just feel like I need to know what happened to her, is she hurting? Is she broken? It saddens me watching her turning into something she said she'd never ever want to become :(
TL;DR: | Broke up with innocent sweet girl, turned into a complete different person, feel bad for her and need to understand whats going on with her. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [M25] don't feel attractive because of expactations
POST: There are unreasonable expactations when it comes to how men and women should be and look like.
I'm not a Twilight fantasy, i'm no 50 Shades of grey, I don't have a highly succesfull job, I'm in school, no car, just an appartment, I have a little belly (not overweight), I don't look like an Armani model.
I feel inadequate and insecure. I feel lousy in bed because i'm just your normal guy. I stopped enjoying sex and told my girlfriend that i'm not in the mood. I don't want to tell her that I feel bad about myself, because that will make me even less attractive.
I don't know what to do? I feel like I have to keep up with everything and that i'll never be a womans fantasy.
My girlfriend of 5 months [22] is into this band called One Direction. I'm no where like them. I don't have the straight white flashing smiles, nor do I have the energy they have, the tight bodies and screaming girls that want them.
TL;DR: | How do I compete with womens fantasy portrayed in movies/novels/moviestars/singers? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [23 M] with my crush [24 F] 1 Year knowing each other, unsure of she likes me!
POST: ear reddit gods, I need some advice on to see if this girl likes me or not. I met her last year at a concert with a bunch of other friends. When I broke up with my ex of 4 years last year, she was the one who always cheered me up and brought me out to parties and meeting her friends.
Ever since then, we've been really close to each other, talking literally every day and getting to know each other quite well. She even said "it was rare that she got close to a person this fast". She is quite an extrovert, very nice and open with everyone (she's a promoter, so go figure) but she tends to keep her personal stuff hidden within and only shares with people close to her.
She comes over to my place for dinner (just the two of us) regularly, cook together and go out to places to eat alone. Is it a date even if you don't explicitly say it out?
She would always comments if we didn't talk much during the day, asking how I am and where I am at all times. We've gone to the gym together and had a lot of interaction alone on many occasions. A lot of our friends (10+) have asked both of us (separately) if me and her if we were an item, cause we always act like one. She has never said like "ew no never" whenever it came up though.
We were asking each other questions to test each other's knowledge of ourselves and I asked "what's my favorite hobby?", she replied with "You game and study, but of course your favorite hobby is spending time with me!" . When I asked her if it was same for her, she said "Yeahhh, You can make lollll". ----> Don't know what this means, the lollll throws me off.
However based on the other reddit threads like "what behavior is a giveaway that someone is interested", she never gets touchy, plays with her hair, blushes, or a general change in behavior.
This makes me wonder if she thinks of me as possible candidate or just a gay best friend. Any thoughts guys? Please T_T
TL;DR: | Known her for 1 year, gotten really close and always hang out together, but have no idea if she is just treating me as a good friend or possible boyfriend. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Male acquaintance [20] is now engaged to his high-school sweetheart. While awaiting an answer to his proposal, he sent very flirtatious messages on FB while drunk to my friend [19F]. Should I tell his fiancé?
POST: He and the sweetheart have been together about five years. I honestly don't know him that well at all. The friend sent the Facebook conversation to me because she was freaking out. My friend and him have known each other for about six or seven years now, and while they used to be really close and would cuddle and whatever, she was not really into finding herself a guy anytime soon and always turned him away. They grew apart a little.
here are some excerpts...
***
My friend:
>Did the girl accept ?? Hahaha
Him:
>no but yous sexy gurl
>dayyyuuummm you fine
***
Friend:
>Jeeze did your proposal get accepted yet? [...]
>Who is it? Lol
Him:
>Just a girl
>You > Girl
>ie. You're Better
***
Him:
> marry me?
Friend:
> wtf you're joking you'd never ask someone that over fb
>Yes but seriously you have to be fucking with me
Him:
>You said yes, and I love you baby
Friend:
>Omg no no no yes to your correction omg you are fucking with me
Him:
>I would love to fuck with you
***
Friend:
>Okay duded what are you doing though? You must be out of your mind. You like australia girl. This isn't funny anymore
Him:
>You make me happy
***
Friend:
>You sobering up a bit yet?
Him:
>Yeah babem, whanet my dick yet?
***
Sorry for the atrocious spelling. Their problem, not mine.
TL;DR: | A guy I know not-so-well has just been engaged but I have a transcript of a flirty (drunken) FB convo with a friend of mine. Should I tell his now-fiancé? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [21F] found my ex [22F] on a dating site where she is listed as single. I know that she isn't.
POST: Throwaway because a few of my friends have reddit
Basically my ex of 2 years cheated on me and I broke up with her in the middle of last year. She stayed in a relationship with the person who she had been cheating on me with for 6 months, so I assumed she just fell out of love with me and was too cowardly to tell me to my face. I went no contact and have a new boyfriend who I am very happy with.
Today, my friend messages me telling me that she was just on okcupid and found my ex. I think she was more confused than anything. She sent me the link, and yup, its her.
Problem is... she is going out with a guy, however she has listed herself as a lesbian. And single.
She is not single. I can still see both of their profiles on social media, and both say they are in a relationship with each other. Hell, on one of them, the boyfriend even has mushy stuff about him loving her in his description.
I'm so confused. I'm not surprised that it seems like she is now cheating on her boyfriend; I have the belief that once you're a cheater, you're always a cheater.
My problem is that I really want to tell her boyfriend about this. I can't describe the pain of knowing you've been cheated on for such a long time while being completely oblivious, and I really want to spare him that.
Should I tell him? Or is it not my place to say?
TL;DR: | My friend found my ex on a dating site saying that she is single, but she has a boyfriend. Should I tell her boyfriend about the profile? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I (25f) feel like i'm falling out of love with my boyfriend (31m). we've dated for a year and 4 months. Help.
POST: We've been dating all these times, went through so much together, he helped me getting better with PTSD from the rape that happened before I met him. I love him so, so much but why do I feel like I'm falling out of love with him?
He has aspergers, even when he is with me I feel so alone. His idea of spending time together is watching anime together, have sex, and go work on his computer alone after. Almost every single time. It's driving me insane.
He took me on a cruise few days ago(he paid for the whole thing which is very generous for him to do) and on the cruiseship he was scolding me for eating too much, that I'm heavy and if I'm on top of him it hurts him. Ouch. The weather kinda sucked too, so honestly it wasn't a great experience.
Yes I got heavier since met him, due to stress mostly. I gained 30 lbs. I'm 5'7" 190lbs right now. I am working on it and he does support me to be healthy which is good, but I got depressed more after that.
Currently he is out of state and i'm visiting my parents so we are far away for 2 weeks. He insists to call me at 10pm every time and he HAS to go to bed at 11pm. I know routine is important to him, but still drives me crazy, I want to talk him more, and last night his mother called him so we didn't get to talk that much, and the sad thing is, we don't have much things to talk about. And I'm realizing that he maybe not the one for me.
I'm sad that this is happening, I love him to death and he is a great guy. But I think i'm falling out of love with HIM.
Any advice would be appreciated.
TL;DR: | love my bf but I feel like I'm falling out of love with him. Nothing to talk about and his routine drives me nuts |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [22 M] with my girlfriend [19 F] of 2 years, lives with me and I want out.
POST: Hi guys, I'll get right to this. My girlfriend and I have been together for little over 2 years. Since this past June, I moved down to her University and leased out a house with buddies of mine. Just for clarification, I did not move to her university because of her, but because of it's academics.
Since we have been living together it has had its ups and downs. I've found a lot about her as well as a lot about myself. I would say since a few months ago i have been living a lie it feels like. I realize that I am not ready for a commitment, I'm finding myself feeling as if im not living "my life" or that I am not who I am right now. My girlfriend on the other hand has been ready to settle and tie the knot. Not that I wasn't in the beginning but that I was to focus on myself first.
Since we live together we split my rent, utilities, groceries, etc.. I live right off campus and drive us everyday to school. I work on the weekends and have a relatively good paying job that is able to support me. Her on the other hand is not in the same situation. She does work, but she barely gets by. Her parents work overtime and have been helping her out a lot.
The first thing my girlfriend said to me when we decided she was going to live with me was "don't stay with me only because i live with you and I don't have a place to stay". Well I care too much of her to do that. But then I also feel like I'm being selfish for not ending this if my heart is no longer in this. If I end this then I have no clue where she will live. I'm fine with her living with me for a little until she finds a place but that only can go so long until it starts hurting each other. I feel like she will unable to complete this semester (3 more months) without me being with her. I'm at lost /r/relationships on what my next move should be.
TL;DR: | Gf lives with me and goes to same school. I don't want to be in a relationship anymore, if we split I feel like she wont be able to support herself to go to college. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Bad experience with haircuts?
POST: Parents have been nagging me to get a haircut after months of little hints(Not even long, about this -> and I wash it, brush it and keep it acceptable, and even wear a hat(Snow beanie).
So, they finally end up making me get a haircut, and this lady has been cutting my hair since I was 8, so I TRUST her... I tell her, quarter-inch trim, and layering to keep it not-so-shaggy... After it's all done, I shake my head back and forth and dry it off completely(Was wet), and it's now THIS ->
Except still the same length on the sides/back as the first picture... Asks me when I get home why I'm pissed off... I WONDER WHY!?
TL;DR: | Haircutter I trusted FUCKED my shit UP! Definitely not what I asked for... Scumbag EVERYONE! |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: [19M] wrote a letter about [19F], but I'm still not sure if I should read it to her.
POST: The letter itself explains most of the situation, so I'll let it do the talking on the situation. I still have until next Sunday to make the call on whether it'd be a good idea to go ahead with it, so what I'm asking here is, should I or shouldn't I?
[The letter.](
I'm not looking for advice on how to write a love letter, or if it's too cheesy, or anything like that. I just want to know if I'd be doing the right thing by telling her how I feel.
To expound on the situation a little more, the two of us had a talk after a *really* awkward psuedo-date, and it turns out that she thinks I'm a good guy, but she doesn't want to be in a relationship for some ill-explained reason (that, perhaps, I simply missed when she was trying to tell me what it was).
Right now, I feel like some pathetic, love-struck fool from a bad 80's movie, only if that were the case, I'd take solace in knowing that the last-minute gambit would end with a kiss and "happily ever after." I know that's probably not going to happen, but I still want to tell this girl how I feel, because it's eating away at me, and I feel like I have to get it off my chest. I just don't know any other way to do it.
What do you think, r/Relationships? Am I just being overly dramatic and ridiculous, or should I go through with this?
TL;DR: | I really like a girl that I met in August, and she says she likes me, but she doesn't want to be in a relationship, so we're friends, but being friends is making me crazy. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Reddit, what is the strangest thing to happen to your body? Example inside
POST: Couldn't think of a better way to word the question, here's mine:
Growing up I had warts on both palms of my hands, around 15-20 of them I would say. I'm not sure when they arrived, I just always remember thinking that they had always been there.
Finally I got fed up with them. At around 17 or so I bought some of that over-the-counter wart freezing stuff (name evades me), but it didn't work. It was meant to work within a few days I think, but weeks later they seemed completely unharmed.
The mother-in-law tried to 'buy' them from me for a penny a wart, it's a bit of an old wives tale and I was not surprised when it didn't work.
Eventually I visited my doctor who arranged an appointment for me to have them properly frozen off. I received a letter advising of my appointment date/time/location etc.
For some reason I thought that the letter said 'X' day in July, so when it got to the beginning of July I re-checked the letter to confirm the exact date, only to find out that it said 'X' day in JUNE.
I reach for my phone to rearrange the appointment, looking at my hand I suddenly realise that ALL the warts are gone, just like that. No idea when it happened or how long it took, but they'd disappeared and have never come back some 6 years later!
TL;DR: | Had warts on hands for several years. After arranging to have them frozen off they suddenly disappeared in the space of a few weeks without ever going to the appointment |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [20f] just cut things off with the guy [27m] I've known for a decade but have only been dating for 3 months. Too harsh?
POST: I live in Southern California and he lives in NorCal. I've known him for about ten years because he's my cousin's best friend but we were never close until last November when he stayed at my house with my cousins and other friends and we ended up hooking up.
He dated a girl before me for over 5 years who he essentially lived in a van with. She got sick of it and moved into her own apartment hours away from where they lived and chose not to follow her. About a year later, she ended up cheating on him with someone who lived near her. This all happened a few months before we hooked up and I do not expect him to be over it, especially a relationship that lasted that long.
We've maintained constant contact since, and have talked literally every day. I've spent money on airfare to go up and visit him twice, the second trip not going well at all. He basically lied to me and told me all of these things he wanted to take me to do and spoil me with and I ended up sitting at my cousin's house for 4 days with him watching him smoke pot and play board games. We did nothing and I felt cheated not only out of my time but the money I spent flying up there.
We've continued talking up until this point where I feel our relationship had reached a plateau. He is extremely depressed and often tells me he isn't ready for a commitment and wants to take things slow, but wants all the perks of me being his girlfriend such as the sex and constant texting. I told him I was done waiting around for him and letting him string me along. I figured after three months, it was weird that he hadn't made up his mind. At the same time, I just feel used. I blocked him on all social media today after talking to him and haven't talked to him since.
I feel guilty because I wanted to support him but he told me he didn't "want" to be helped or be happy. I stuck around hoping my presence would help him but it clearly didn't and as a result, it made me feel worse. Part of me feels like he was just using me to get over his breakup.
TL;DR: | Guy who I've been seeing is broken from a previous relationship but wanted the perks of me being his girlfriend with no commitment. I cut things off. Should I have stayed to support him and his depression? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My[M26] girlfriend[28F] has miss placed priorities and what I feel is greed. I am am a but to fault.
POST: I have been with my girlfriend now for about 3 years. 1.5 of those was spent living together and a year LDR while I had to relocate for a new contract.
She comes from an extremely poor third world family and has worked to break free of it. He mom and sisters not so much. Their house is essentially a wooden shack on stilts.
The whole neighborhood has a communal shower that they were using and frequently getting rashes from. So I said I would pay for a new free standing bathroom just for her family. 675usd for materials and had a friend's company build it for free.
To preface everything I kind of spoil the people close to me. I won't go into specifics but so far I have spent about 3000usd on gifts, not including that I like to shop and eat well. So her life style changed a but suddenly.
Down to the real issue. For some reason she cannot get over brands/price tags. Tonight she starts telling me about a travel luggage that she wants called "Rimowa". For a basic bag it's about a 1000usd. I flat out told her that I would never buy this and I'd rather do anything else with that money than buy something you will use a dozen times a year. She says never mind that she will buy it herself.
I don't care about the money but I care about the idea that you would spend 1000$ or even think of one when your family lives so poorly.
I met her when I was doing OK financially and I now many about 8x what she makes a day, every hour. So we have really gone from a 50:50 to more of an 80:20.
I want to marry this woman and some greed won't stop me but I just want to understand it and possibly try to limit or redirect it.
TL;DR: | Girlfriend comes from an extremely poor background yet seems to only crave what isn't isn't realistic. I support and help her a lot, but misplaced priorities or greed is effecting us. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Reddit, what is an acceptable age to move out of the parent's house?
POST: I know a lot has to do with whatever the given situation is (relationships with said parents, financial issues, ect). But me being a 24 year-old male, who works, pays some of the bills, helps out with his parent's electronic endeavors, ect. To add, I have a great relationship with my folks. I just feel confused about the direction I should go. I can afford to live on my own (granted that I can find a place and they'll not give a shit about my horrible credit). But at the same time, I want to be there for them and help out. They're both 30+ years smokers, and I want to help them quit since I did about three months ago myself. At the same time, I feel depressed, I really have no social life, and it would be odd to invite a girl to come over to my parent's house, then I slowly start feeling like a loser. Is being 24 and living with parents not socially acceptable?
So Reddit, is/was anyone in a similar situation? I'd love to hear input for other people's personal experiences. Thanks!
TL;DR: | 24 year-old male, live with my folks, can afford to live on my own but probably can't since I have bad credit, other issues, just read, haha! |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My [21M] girlfriend[21F] cries when I can't cum from bj
POST: Would like advice on how to deal with this and or make her feel better about it. I think about 1/10 to 1/4 times she tries to give me oral I can't finish and I believe it makes her feel insecure. I have tried telling her that many guys aren't ever able to finish through oral alone and it doesn't seem to help. I think it is due to underlying insecurities about herself [she sometimes calls herself a reacher(like I am above her) and she says she wonders how she ever got me]
So I guess it is more of a two part question,
How can I help her from getting upset after a unfinished bj?
How can I help reduce some of her insecurities? (I have recently encouragered her into lifting to hopefully boost her confidence)
TL;DR: | GF gets upset with herself when I can't come from a BJ(possibly because she is insecure) How can I help? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [18M] with my Girlfriend [18F] of 10 months, she has moved out of state for college and now feels like she can't make me happy.
POST: My girlfriend and I have been going out for 10 months now, she's moved out of state for college, we consider ourselves a strong couple and we had been handling the long distance quite well for about 2 weeks but now we've hit a snag.
So first off she's had a horrible history of men mistreating her, and yes her father divorced her mom at a young age and was an alcoholic, she has talked to him a little more in the last year.
Then I came along 10 months ago, she says I'm the best guy she's ever had and I strive to be her prince charming everyday with things like little compliments and more surprises. We skype each other (currently doing so) but she's been getting sad a lot lately when it comes to sexting.
We're an extremely happy couple otherwise and we trust each other completely and have movie dates and other cute things to make this work but when I have needs she breaks down, I feel absolutely terrible about it. She feels like sexting means "getting used", this goes back to guys using her for that. She knows I don't use her at all, I've repeatedly told her I want to be a part of her life, I love her and would do anything and give everything to be with her but unfortunately the career I desire sort of requires me to stay home and build a reputation in the community.
I came here /r/relationships because I don't want to lose her, I love her with all of my heart. I've talked to her about maybe seeing the schools psychiatrist.
TL;DR: | Girlfriend and I are doing great, but the long distance sexting upsets her, I've helped a lot of people with stuff but I'm stumped by this :/ |
SUBREDDIT: r/weddingplanning
TITLE: To dj or not to dj? To game or not to game?
POST: Neither I nor my fiance are big into dancing. We both find it fun, but ultimately don't enjoy doing it in front of people. To this end, we plan on having a playlist and a friend in charge of change overs, and card games at the tables, with food that is easy to eat while playing, in the hopes this will be more enjoyable all around.
We don't want to spend money on a dj when the majority of our families don't dance much to begin with, and we don't want the party to be boring to the people that don't want to dance. My step dad, however, is trying to insist. I'm putting my foot down either way, but have any of you tried the game or no dj route? How'd it go? Would or wouldn't youdo it that way again?
TL;DR: | don't want to have a dj, want to have games at most tables. Advice/ anecdotes would be greatly appreciated. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Hey Reddit, my little brother really needs your help.
POST: He been playing xbox live through the kinect with a kid from school. There has always been problems with this kid, he's "the bully" from his school. Well he got into a fight with him and now he is making awful threats to my brother and bullying him at school. We already blocked him on xbox, but we just found out his xbox is jail broken and he is now hacking my brothers account and turning on my brothers mic and bullying him. Is there anyway to make it so he can't communicate with my brother? He just wants to be able to play his video games without having to worry about this kid.
TL;DR: | Brother being bullied on xbox, blocked the user, user has jail broken xbox so he's hacking my brothers account, how can we make this stop? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My [27/F] best friend [28/F] has become the most negative person I've ever met, and I don't know how to tell her.
POST: My best friend and I have been friends for about 16 years now, and over the past few months I have noticed that she's become the most negative person I know.
This is not to say that I'm the most happy-go-lucky person in the world, but I'm generally positive. I like my job well enough, I have a nice apartment, and live with my wonderful SO. Of course I have job stress and family stress, but who doesn't?
Lately it's been non-stop texting from her, and everything is negative. Everything from "I hate my job, so-and-so did *this* again," or "my mother is driving me crazy today," all the way to something as stupid as "I hate when people stop using weight machines at the gym to text."
It's as though *every single thing* bothers her *all the time.* I understand that she is unhappy living at home with her parents and that her job isn't ideal (she's a director and makes double my salary and has half the student loans that I do - I have a hard time sympathizing when she complains to me about how she can't afford to move out when I've been on my own as long as I have).
I don't hate her, it's just emotionally exhausting to deal with to the point where I'm finding myself ignoring her text messages until I can mentally prepare myself to deal with her. I feel like, as her best friend, I should try to have a conversation with her about it. She has a history of getting extremely defensive when something like this is brought up, and I know she isn't super happy with her life right now and I don't want to exacerbate that, either. What is the best way to approach this with her?
TL;DR: | My best friend hasn't had one positive comment to make in the last 6 months and I want to talk to her about it but don't know how without her getting defensive. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Now that I'm back to school and work, how much time should I spend with my SO? [24m, 22f]
POST: This is my last year of college which means senior design project, classes, interviews, job hunting, graduate school applications, and research among other things.
My SO doesn't go to the same school I do and usually in the past, my exes and I went to the same school, so even if we didn't see each other on weekends, we have lunch together or class.
Essentially, how much time should I spend with him every week or what should the minimum time requirement to see or catch up with my SO without him feeling like I'm drifting away into my studies, which has happened to me before.
TL;DR: | Our ages are 24m, 22f. I'm overloaded with a lot of work this semester, how do I make sure we spend time together and keep a healthy relationship? We've been dating for 6 months? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me[29 M] and my former girlfriend [28F] are trying to be in a relationship again but she is not interested in sex anymore
POST: We used to just fool around a few years ago, I should say that at the time we werent in a formal relationship because I was somewhat of a sleaze bag and hurt her plenty. After a while, the inevitable happaned and I had a child with another woman and she dated someone else.
I always regretted not being a faithful to boyfriend to her and apparently according to her she never met anyone else who she wanted to be with and missed me as much as I missed her. So we reconnected and have been trying to in a real relationship for the first time but now of course the new complication. That has come up is that she isn't interested in having g sex.
She has said that she isn't attracted to me but somehow doesnt want to give up on us and wants to be with me because.. I have no idea why. But she insists that's true. I only believe her because she does seem to try very hard to be a girlfriend to me but I can always feel there's something missing.
I personally am very excited to be with her and find her attractive in EVERY way. But I find it hard to be rejected by her when it comes to sex. It's becoming a real.lroblwm. And I'm not sure what to do. This is the first time I've ever tried being in a normal relationship and I dknt know if this is like a normal stage of a relationship that people regularly go through. Any advice would be great thanks in advance
TL;DR: | lonf term on and off girlfriend doesn't seem interested in sex with me. Now that we are trying a real relationship is this normal thing that can't be overcome? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [F22] am really shy when it comes to flirting/dating, how do I talk with [M21]?
POST: There's a guy in my class that I've noticed seems to always be around where I am. In a couple of instances we had club meetings and he always comes up to me and talks to me. There are awkward moments because I'm kind of awkward and I'm one of those people that are perfectly fine with silences, but I guess that's a little weird for girls around my age? We also make mucho eye contact and I smile at him often.
Anyway, he teases me a bit here and there which I thought was a little weird because I don't know him that well. I tease my close friends, but it takes me a bit to get comfortable with someone, most of the time I'm very comfortable with people I've known for 1+ years. But I just met him a couple months ago.
I don't really know how to talk to him because I've only dated guys that I knew were interested in me (via online). This is territory I'm unfamiliar with and I'm not even 100% sure he's interested. If I treat him like a friend I'm afraid he'll assume I'm not interested, but if I flirt too much...well I don't really know how to flirt so I'm not too worried about that. Any advice is appreciated!
TL;DR: | I'm shy and kind of awkward. It takes me a while to get comfortable with someone, and I'm sorta interested in this guy, not sure what to do... |
SUBREDDIT: r/jobs
TITLE: I have a job offer from a temp agency, and I don't know if I should leave my full time job.
POST: Hi everyone, I have been grappling with this problem for some time now, and I am not sure what to do. I recently graduated college and I got a full time job in a management candidate program at a packaging company, and as of right now I work on little projects for their IT department. I don't get paid a huge amount (35k) but I am by no means poor. I think I might be getting a raise after a few months, but money is not important to me as long as I can get the bills paid and save money.
So here is what happened, I posted my resume on career builder and I got a call from a temp agency rep about a Project Manager position at a very large orthopedic company. The company is very reputable and the position seems to be something I would be interested in, but it is with a temp agency with no guarantee of long term employment. I am flying absolutely blind. I don't know whether I will like the new job, I don't know whether I will be good at it, and I don't even know the risk of getting let go soon after being hired. BUT the job is in the field that I went to school for and I think it would be a good idea to get my foot in the door.
So here is my question: How do I measure the risk with the temp agency and how do I go about making the decision of whether that risk is worth taking? Any and all advice would be greatly appreciated because (as life as a human being often is) I have no idea what I am doing.
TL;DR: | Have a full time job that I mostly like, have another offer from a temp agency, how should I measure risk? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My [23M] gf [21F] returns from her 4 month term abroad tomorrow and I'm more nervous than excited.
POST: My gf has been studying abroad since August. We've been able to talk the vast majority of days and have video chatted a handful of times. She's coming back tomorrow and of course I'm excited.
However, I'm super nervous. I'm nervous that I'll have nothing to say and things will be awkward because we've been apart so long. I should mention that I graduated college this summer and began my carear while she was gone, so needless to say I have grown up and changed fairly noticably in this four month timeframe while she was studying abroad (aka vacation). I'm nervous that we've learned to live without each other so well that there won't be as good of a connection as there was before and we'll begin to drift away.
TL;DR: | hoping for guidance on how I should deal with this nervousness; 4 months realistically isn't long so I know others who will read this have done much more extensive absences |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Intimacy in crisis: how do we arrange for Skype sex?
POST: I'll try to make this short and to the point. I [M, 20] live about 400 miles away from my girlfriend [F, 20] of ~2 years (she's at a local community college, I'm at a 4 year). We love each other very much, but we haven't had sex or had any real intimacy since last November. (And even then, it was only that one time).
Unless there's a better way, it looks like Skype sex might be our only option to bring us a bit closer again, but we almost never have any time alone. I live with a roommate I'm on good terms with, and I don't want to make him uncomfortable by asking about having the room to myself for something like this. (He essentially never leaves the room.) She, on the other hand, lives at home, with fairly conservative family.
What on Earth do we do? :( We're really desperate at this point, whenever opportunities line up for one of us, it seems like they never do for the other (both when I'm back or away at school)
TL;DR: | Girlfriend and I (both 20 y.o.) live 400 miles apart, her at home and I at school. Little to no intimacy because we're never alone for Skype sex etc. What do? |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: What is your strangest experience with your neighbors?
POST: The couple in the townhouse next mine are constantly fighting to the point the cops have been called a few times. A few months back my roommate were out in the back yard drinking when we heard a loud slam followed by yelling so naturally we ran out front to check it out. As we came out the gate we saw a guy with a samurai sword sprinting out the front door of the neighbors house. We freaked out and ran back inside to watch from the window. Next thing we see is a guy laying on the ground with an extension chord around his neck. We found out later that night that the boyfriend had tried to hang himself in their front yard and the 3rd roommate used the samurai sword to cut him down before he could succeed.
TL;DR: | Neighbor tried to hang himself in the front yard with extension chord but roommate cut him down from the tree with samurai sword. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: I have a delicate situation that Ive been thinking about recently...throwaway for obvious reasons inside...
POST: I have a counselor/therapist that I go to for food problems mostly, and family issues. Mom is overprotective, I live under a rock, my dads relationship is nonexistant and hes slightly creepy.
Anyways, Im going off topic. I go to a therapist and we talk. I havent told anyone about this really, except a couple times on here but people thought I might be asexual. Anyways, I have NOT came, I have not even felt an orgasm before. Lately I do not get hard unless I put direct pressure (like laying on your stomach, pushing your hips on your bed).
The twist is, that he is married to my boss's bookkeeper, so theres that...he actually set me up an interview in which I was qualified enough to get my first job there (still working 3 months in)
What do I do? Could not jacking off and being sexually frustrated be a reason why Im overeating and/or not dreaming (I liek dreaming but I heard emotional walls cause you not to remember dreams)
TL;DR: | My therapist is my boss's accountant/bookkeeper. I want to tell him I have never orgasmed or came before. |
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU by using a soon-to-be expired credit card
POST: Let me start out by saying I'm so extremely frustrated and disappointed with Walmart.com right now. I successfully placed a preorder for a video game, Fallout 4: PipBoy Edition which comes out in November, back in June. This version is extremely limited and highly in demand. Unfortunately the card I used to pay for my order with expired in July. Rather than contact me when they tried to run my payment last week they simply cancelled my order, expecting me to reorder with an updated card. However, they didn't tell me any of this. I was sent a vague email that said I needed to update my payment online within 3 days. I was unable to do so even though it showed I still had an active preorder so I had to call customer service...3 times. It was only when I finally got through to the corporate office today that I learned I had wasted my time and what had really happened. I finally got an order cancellation email...today, after I got off the phone with corporate. I understand that they're trying to prevent fraudulent purchases, which I was told they get a lot of, but I still don't understand how their system can be set up this way to where people aren't contacted to simply update the card and verify information BEFORE cancelling the order.
TL;DR: | Pre-ordered Fallout 4:PipBoy edition but order was cancelled because credit card expired after I placed the order. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I, 26[F], with him, 26[M] - Moral responsibility with infidelity?
POST: I will sum this up as succinctly as possible.
At the age of 20, I went on an exchange to another country. I made new friends, including another exchange student. We developed feelings for each other, up until the point that I found out he had a girlfriend in his home country. We had what I now understand to be an emotional affair.
We kept in contact, and he stayed with his girlfriend. I went to visit he & other friends over there several times, where nothing sexual happened and we maintained our close but awkward friendship.
The last time I went to visit I went to bed, and he came to join me. We decided that we both want to have sex, and so we did. It was... a release of old tension, but otherwise it only made me feel guilty and sad.
I return home and finally understand what I've done (I had had no other romantic relationships in my life up until this point). I know now what I have done to someone else's relationship, and I will have to live with that for the rest of my life. I am not asking for absolution, I just want to be clear that I totally and completely understand what I have done.
My question is this: it has been about 6 months since this has happened, and I am still struggling with it. He lives with his SO (23F), and they have been together for 6 years. The emotional affair took place in the first year they were together (and arguably past that), not to mention the recent sexual contact. He also confessed to me that he'd kissed other women recently, so I know he's not just limited to transgressions with me.
I want to be clear - I want nothing else to do with him, all I want is to work on how & why I let this happen and I want (more than anything) to learn from what I have done. However, I would like to know if I should tell his SO about what has happened between us. I have read conflicting thoughts on this matter in this sub, and I would like an honest opinion.
Thank you.
TL;DR: | My 'friend' and I conducted an emotional affair that culminated in a single sexual act. Should I tell his SO about this long-term infidelity? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: i [f-24] got drunk and had sex with my ex [m-26] last night...
POST: hi reddit,
i'm so stupid!
my ex-boyfriend (26) and me (f-24) have been together for 5 years, but broke up about 7 months ago.
my friend told me, that he just recently started dating again. i thought i was cool with it, but apparently i'm not.
i knew that yesterday he was going to meet some of his mates at a pub, so me and a few girlfriends went there, too. we pre-sipped, so i was already a little tipsy when we arrived. i acted surprised meeting him there.
we talked, and had a few too many shots of Jager...
we left the pub, and went to his place. i spend the night, we had sex, and this morning was just too weird. i apologised, for my actions. i told him that i can't handle the thought of him being with someone else. he said, that i was the one who wanted the break up, and that he needed to do a lot of thinking. he then asked me to leave... :(
i'm usually not like this. i would never ruin a relationship out of jealousy. and i would never make anyone drunk to have sex with me.
i just realised, that i miss him, and that i still love him. i don't want him to have another girlfriend. when i broke up with him, i thought it was for the better. even though we lived together, we barely got to see each other, because we were just too busy.
he wanted me back, texted me, called me, tried everything, but i just had this stupid idea, that perhaps we were better off without each other, and that i didn't love him anymore...
but that's not true! i still love him more than anything.
i know that probably none of you can help me with this, but i just needed to tell someone!
thank you for reading... <3
TL;DR: | miss my ex. thought i didn't love him anymore, but still do. we both got drunk last night and had sex. what to do? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: 20F, boyfriend wants to videotape
POST: So, me and my boyfriend (he's 22) have been together for 7 months. We are going to be long distance for about a month and a half. He wants to videotape us having sex, and I don't want to.
He says he wants the videos so that he can have stuff to remember me by while we're apart...but he has also been bringing up the videos for a few months, even when we weren't long distance. What complicates all fo this is that, originally, I said yes to the videotapes. Then I realized "holy sh*t..my future." I talked to him about it, and deleted them.
He feels hurt that I deleted them, and hurt that I don't want to make more. I've offered a compromise of doing a video, but without my face in it, so no one who accidentally saw it could recognize me.He still isn't happy with that. He asks why I don't want to: I say it's because of the risks, that if someone saw the video, it would be humiliating, not to mention if the video somehow got out. He says it won't get out- but the thing is..you never know, and I just feel like it's a very high risk to take? I'm just not comfortable with the idea of it. I've heard stories of women's careers being ruined over sex tapes.
I also don't like the attitude he takes to me saying no. For example, we were about to have sex, he asked if he could video, I said no, and he then refused sex. He has done this about 3 times. And when I deleted the videos he refused to do anything physical with me beyond a small kiss on the lips and wouldn't say "I love you" for 2 days.
What do you all think?
TL;DR: | boyfriend wants sex tapes, i don't want to do them, i want to know if i'm being irrational. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My [29M] inconsiderate neighbors [various ages and genders] are too loud every night of the week. And they steal my tomatoes.
POST: Original post:
I spoke with the man of the house earlier today. I told him that they are being too loud every night. It was his birthday "weekend" apparently. I told him it's an exception if it's a special moment, but partying it up every night for the past month is inexcusable. He apologized and said he'll keep it down.
So tonight is quiet so far. Hopefully it'll last. I also notified the Home Owners Association rep. She said she'll contact the home owner. I'll call the police if the neighbors ignore my request. I don't think they're violent. So the cameras will go up.
As for the tomato thief. I thought about lacing the tomatoes with Indian peppers, but I can see that going both ways in court. I'd rather just have evidence. I'm putting up a fence too with motion capture lights.
TL;DR: | Spoke with neighbors. They're quiet. I'll follow up with HOA and cops. I'll set up cameras and put up a fence too. |
SUBREDDIT: r/legaladvice
TITLE: Owner is adjusting time cards, wage theft. How should I proceed?
POST: I work for a small company (in Ohio) as store manager, I run most day to day things, but when it comes to payroll, my boss, the owner retrieves the time card info from the website we use for scheduling and clocking in/out (Homebase). Last pay period my hours seemed a bit... Off. Not hugely but it just didn't add up in my head right, so I told my employees to print their time slips when clocking out and put them in an envelope so I could confirm hours, didn't tell them what I believed to be happening. Yesterday was payroll day and my hours had indeed been adjusted again. One day its pretty blatantly obvious because according to his time sheets I clocked out and no one else clocked in for 10 minutes, which would be leaving a store, inside a mall, unattended for that time. Anyways, it's maybe a grand total of 3 hours across the 15 day pay period, so it's not even so much a matter of the money as it's just grossly illegal, and wrong.
At this point I'm not sure how to proceed, a close friend thinks I should get a lawyer before anything else, others think I should just try talking to him though this was pretty obviously willfully breaking the law. My biggest personal issue is that this is a small company, going much beyond trying to talk to him could really sink the company and while he's being a grade a ass, I care about the store. Also I'm the only one there who depends on this job like, to live, only full time person who is an adult and doesn't have another job, so I would likely have to find another job, while I know there's things against retaliation etc I don't know much else concerning at will employment or the fact that suing would probably tank the store.
TL;DR: | owner committing wage theft, back pay wouldnt honestly amount to a ton of money.have proof but also need my job.halp? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [20 M] with my girlfriend [20 F] of 3 years, I don't know what love feels like?
POST: Basically, I fear that my initial infatuation (butterflies in my stomach, etc) might have been all that motivated me to stay in this relationship. We began dating our senior year of high school and remain together at uni. I care about her... I know I'd hate for anything to happen to her, and I know she's a great person. But I don't physically *feel* anything in my gut or anywhere else.
The thing is, though it's a different kind of love, I don't physically feel anything for my family, either. I know I care about them and would be devastated if something happened to them, but, again, I don't know how "love" is supposed to feel.
Is this normal, to not know whether you love someone, or should I consider talking to a professional?
TL;DR: | I don't know what love is supposed to feel like, and, because of it, I don't know whether I love my girlfriend. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Do you know your IQ score, and if so, how does this knowledge affect your life, if at all?
POST: I haven't thought about IQ scores in a while, but today my dad brought it up. I was tested as a kid, and scored fairly high, somewhere between 136-142.
I just realized how much it had affected my life today though. I was doing something sort of creative/funky/eccentric, and my dad made the comment
>That's what an IQ score of 136 gets you
with a grin. He was just playing, but it shook me to the core. I don't like to think of myself as an individual with a set potential, who can't accomplish things beyond what my IQ score says I am capable of accomplishing.
I also remembered back to the test itself, and the way I used to think back then, and how the ways I have thought have changed over time. I remember holding back on the SAT test, because I was pretty neurotic as a child, which makes sense, as I am currently schizophrenic. I remember not throwing myself completely into the test, which makes me wonder how accurate these tests really are.
I mean, this test can give a child either a very good or very bad initial image of him or herself. It can inspire them to believe they are capable of anything or it can discourage them from trying at all. Should we really be giving this type of power to test makers? Children don't yet know why they possibly should or should not take their test scores with a grain of salt.
TL;DR: | Do you think kids should know their test scores at a young age? If you knew yours, did it affect your life goals? Do you trust the test at all - do you believe that it is accurate? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: 30yr old (m) dating 25 yr old (f) wondering why is so hard for her to just admit that she's in a relationship. Serious replies only please.
POST: Been with this girl for about 6 months. Things moved pretty quickly, living together. She is very feisty and doesn't comprise much (Leo) and I am a little more emotional and looking for a little security (Cancer).
I try not to hold her on a leash and when she wants to go do her thing I think it's fine, I get a little jealous of other guys but nothing more than a few minutes of quiet and I rationalize it in my head. Long story short, I had a concern with deleted texts, constantly changing phone password and I've been lied to before by her. I let her know that I would like if she included me in any of her pictures and if I help her with a project or anything, the credit is all hers...I never get mentioned at all. She fails to mention to any of her guy friends that she is in a relationship and gets invited out all the time.
Am I just overly sensitive? This morning she asked if I looked at her phone and I told her straight out that I did. I saw some things that bothered me and confronted her. She's currently moving her stuff out now, stating that if she wanted to cheat she'd be a little smarter and that she doesn't have time for "this shit".
I fucked up, violated privacy. I admitted, but I can't ask her about my concerns without her getting mad at me or saying something like "I'm not talking about this right now."
Make me feel better Reddit, I tried so hard, compromised and compromised but when it came down to something I asked for...she can't be bothered with it.
What's wrong with this picture?
TL;DR: | Girlfriend doesn't understand that I like to feel wanted and would like her to make our relationship more known. Blows up when I request it. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: The "wasn't meant to be" reason, 24M and 22F
POST: It's been a month since my breakup, and actually life has been good. The break up happened suddenly when after four intense months I told my ex that I loved her, and she said she didn't feel the same way. She left a week after to go travelling for two months. Didn't speak a word since I walked out the door.
Fast forward a month, and I saw one of her friends at a BBQ. I found out that when I came into the picture, she was still seeing her ex boyfriend. I was rather inebriated when I heard the news, and I wasn't sure if she was cheating on me when we became exclusive. So I broke NC, and asked her what the story was.
I was a little surprised to open the message saying "I was just thinking about you and thought about messaging you today" (don't overanalyze it). She confirmed that when we were casual, she saw him a few times. Whatevs. She said that she thought she could get over him, but had a hard time moving past her last relationship (2 years+). She said it definitely created distance between us. She then said that it truly wasn't the case we broke up, instead it was "just not meant to be. At least I didn't see it". She ended the conversation saying she saw one of the birds we laughed at together while she was traveling and that's why she was thinking about me. I won't be contacting her anymore since her tone was distant and didn't imply anything more.
I am now seeing other people and happy to be moving on. I won't be waiting for her. But like the curious creature I am, I was wondering if when a girl like her situation says "it wasn't meant to be", is that always final? Is there ever a future moment where they turn around and suddenly feel differently?
TL;DR: | Broke up with girlfriend, a month later find out she just wasn't over her last relationship. She maintains we weren't "meant to be", but is that reason always final? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [17 M] with my Dad [ 47 M], My dad is so nice to me but I always get upset when I see him.
POST: My dad and I used to be very close and he's been with me during a lot of my hardships, but lately I get so mad at him when I see him and I'm not sure why. And when I snap at him or act rude I always instantly regret it. He's so nice to me but I always push him away.. I get so mad.. but then I hate hurting his feelings. He's just taking care of me. I think about it all the time and think I've changed but every time I see him I get upset and short tempered I just don't understand.
TL;DR: | My dad is so kind but whenever we talk or I see him I get very upset and short tempered and I hate it and I don't know why, I can't help it. |
SUBREDDIT: r/legaladvice
TITLE: A collections agency is has been harassing me and threatening to sue me personally for a debt owed by MY EMPLOYER- can they do that?
POST: I have been contacted by a debt collections agency both at work AND at home regarding a debt owned by my employer.
Long story short, I was asked by my boss to send a purchase order to a company we had done business with in the past. He was not satisfied with the services provided by the company, and the charges have been in dispute ever since.
Fast forward to a month ago- I get a call at work from a collection agency threatening to sue me personally to recoup money owed because I sent the purchase order.
I informed the agency at that time that I am just an employee of the corporation which the services were billed to, and that I have no personal stake in the company. I explained that I am only an administrative assistant who was asked to forward a purchase order. I asked them to stop contacting me.
Then I received a letter AT HOME from the agency, again listing my name as among the people being held responsible for the debt. It was postmarked the same day as the phone call I got at work.
I have since learned that they did the same to my boss, who also has no personal state in the company. Since then he has received no fewer than 5 harassing calls from the agency, threatening to sue him personally.
For the record, the company i work for is an large-ish publicly traded corporation with a central billing office and legal affairs department. The debt collector was informed of this.
Today, however, a letter arrived at my workplace addressed to me personally, and to my boss. It states that they are now in the process of evaluating our current assets and liabilities to determine collection options.
Can they do that? I understand that the collection attempts probably don't fall under FDCPA protections because they relate to a business debt, but there again- how can it related to a business debt when I have no personal stake in the business?
Any help or advice would be appreciated.
TL;DR: | I send an purchase order which my company refused to pay for, and I am now being personally threatened by a collections agency |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [M/23] broke up with my first serious girlfriend [F/23] a few days ago. I need help. I don't know what to do.
POST: I have had a few girlfriends in the past but they never lasted longer than a few months. My most recent girlfriend and I dated for almost 2 years.
I broke up with her two days ago. I did it because I wasn't sure if I could spend the rest of my life with her and felt like I was wasting her time and leading her on.
I love this girl. She is amazing. I just didn't see it working out in the long run. I am completely torn apart. The sound of her crying and watching her heart break right in front of me was one of the most painful things I've had to do.
I want to text her and ask how she is doing. I want to talk about what happened as emotions were running high when I ended it. I feel horrible. I'm lost. I want to hold her and tell her it will be okay. She wanted to spend the rest of her life with me. Get a dog, have a house, get married, and have a family. I wanted it to work. She is an amazing person and the most beautiful girl in the world.
Should I try to contact her? Wait a while and let the waters calm? Leave her alone? I miss her.
TL;DR: | Broke up with my first serious girlfriend of almost two years because I couldn't see myself spending the rest of my life with her. I am totally devastated and need any kind of advice. |
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU by spilling iced coffee all over my desktop computer
POST: I had just woken up, so I started breakfast by putting cinnamon rolls in the oven. I then felt like playing a game of league of legends, so I started it up. After about 20 mins in we were about to win, and I hear the kitchen timer go off. I panic click back to base on the screen and jump out of my chair to go get the rolls out of the oven. In the process of doing that I knock a cup of iced coffee (that was there from last night) onto the top of my desktop computer (my computer has ventilation holes at the top of it). The coffee begins to pour into my computer and it gets all up in that shit. I quickly unplugged the computer and ran to go get the cinnamon rolls out of the oven (priorities). I then try to dry off my computer with a hair dryer after opening it up. I plug it back in about 45 mins later and turn it on It works! For about 14 mins and then it shuts off again not to be turned back on. Now THAT was the fuck up. Now prepare for the epic win.
I sat down with my desktop for about 4 hours getting wet cotton swabs and scraping the dried coffee off of the motherboard. I then plug it back up around 5 hours later and IT DOESN'T WORK! My monitor keeps saying no HDMI input. I recognized the graphics card's fans weren't turning. I then proceed to (look at the Walmart warranty and cry that it does not cover water damage for about 30 mins) remove the graphics card to find that the metal prongs at the end of it were a bit sticky, so I cleaned them off. I then put it back on and power it up. IT STILL DIDN'T FUCKING WORK. I then grabbed a spare HDMI and plugged it in, powered it on, and IT WORKED HOLY FUCK YESSssSSssSSS! It's been about 45 mins now and the computer is still responding, so even after the fail I would consider the rest to be an epic win.
TL;DR: | I spilled coffee on my computer because of cinnamon rolls and League of Legends. I then proceeded to be the luckiest man in the world because I was able to get the computer to work again. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [23F] am so fed up with my parnters [24 M] performance in bed I don't know what to do anymore
POST: I have been in a relationship with a man for about 2.5 years. He is so wonderful and thoughtful in so many ways but he can't last in with vaginal sex longer than a few seconds on a good day. At first I thought that with time that it would improve (with another guy I had been with this had been the case). However it hasn't and for my own preference other types of sex haven't made me feel sexually satisfied.
I have talked to him and tried to urge him to see a doctor to look into what is going on but he makes all kinds of excuses as to why he can't. I really don't care if there is a solution, but what bothers me is that he just doesn't appear to try ( he has never called anyone despite having the time, money and health insurance) , and when we do talk he becomes defensive (which I understand and respond to with empathy) and he stops he conversation and we don't talk about it for a while. We have sex so infrequently now its almost to twice a month during a good period, and I just feel at a loss of what to do at this point. Tonight I just became so fed up with talking about it with no response that I don't even want to sleep in the same room.
Part of me wants this relationship to last because he means a lot to me and every other part of our relationship is going well. But the other part of me can't help but feel resentful, unsatisfied and angry that he keeps brushing off something that is important to me and I know that isn't healthy for any relationship.
TL;DR: | SO is a premature ejaculator and I am at the point of wanting to break up over his lack of caring/action about it. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I misrepresented my marital status to my classmates. (27M)
POST: I am not an American but I am enrolled in a graduate program in the United States. I started last fall and when I came here initially I did not come with my wife. For whatever reason, I wanted to experience single life here and I did not tell my new friends that I was married. That lie was innocent at first; I did not want people to judge me or feel uncomfortable but it has gone too far now.
My wife (25f) and son (2m) are coming to live with me in January and I have to find some way to explain this to my friends but I do not know how to. I am afraid I am going to look like a complete fraud. I cannot hide my wife and child from them either. I'm so embarrassed of lies I told and I wish I could go back and start honestly again. There is the additional issue of some of my conduct while my wife was away. It was less than becoming and I am afraid some of it will make me look lecherous to my friends, many of whom are very moral people.
TL;DR: | Foreign student in America. Acted as if I was single and stated I was single when I was in reality married with a child. Do not know what to say to friend now that my wife/son are joining me here. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [21 F] with [21 M] being called a "sexual guide" and "test subject"
POST: I've been dating around for a while since a big breakup and seeing one guy for 2 months. I'm not interested in a committed, let's do whatever it takes to make this work kind of relationship and probably wont be until after I graduate college at least. I was clear about that from the start, everything else I'd be fine with.
Since he had no experience (literally none, kissing, hand holding, nothing) and I had the experience of a 2.5 year relationship, he joked that I was like a "sexual guide/sacagaweah" to him when we first started seeing each other (even though we weren't having sex at the time).
I got a bit salty because that made it sound like he was using me to just round bases so he apologized and we were good again.
Now it's been two months and we've recently started having sex and I asked, "so am I still a 'sexual guide'"? Kind of curious as to what he thought we were and hoping/assuming he wouldn't say I was. What he did say was: "hmm, I guess I'd say, 'test subject'".
I know he was at least partially joking, but is there anyone who wouldn't get offended at being called a 'test subject' in that context/any kind of relationship, even a casual one?
It made me feel used and very cold towards him because, at least to me, it seemed to imply that he was thinking of me as some kind of 'trial run' for a better girl and wasn't taking me seriously. The term 'test subject' is just dehumanizing in general.
Am I right to be so salty and is this guy an idiot to call any girl that? Or am I completely overreacting?
TL;DR: | Is it ok to refer to somebody you're consistently hooking up with as a 'test subject' (with regards to what you are in the relationship) in any context or is it normal to be offended? |
SUBREDDIT: r/loseit
TITLE: Right in the feels... saw some halloween party pictures of myself.
POST: I've so far lost ~6kg/12lbs, which puts me halfway towards my goal; currently I'm 70.5kg (~155lbs) at just over 5'10". I'll be honest, I've plateau'd pretty hard, I've not been very good over the past few months. But at the same time, I weigh the least I have in the past 5 years and that's not insignificant to me. I guess I should note this was through diet alone, no exercise. I thought I was doing pretty well, then I saw this halloween pic:
I look ok from the tits up, I even have a collarbone... but tits down it suddenly turns into the nutty professor fat suit. It seriously looks like I'm 4 months pregnant - and I've been told that if I have a cigarette on the street (especially after a large meal) people give me dirty looks because they think I'm actually pregnant!
Feeling pretty down about this (and other things, but that's irrelevant) right now. In addition to eating right to continue with the weight loss, what can I do? Do I just put on weight in my middle and I need to accept this? Do I need to do some sort of specific core exercises and this is just the result of a lack of tone? Would targetting this area with exercise realistically even help?
TL;DR: | look really pregnant and it makes me feel like shit, but I'm actually only 10lbs from goal weight. Can I do anything? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [30/M] with my Ex [26 F] 14 months apart, still feel as hung up sa I did at the start
POST: My last relationship ended 14 months ago now (she left me, if it's relevant) and I still feel 'heartbroken' for lack of a better term. Now, I'm not the sort to lack a wider perspective, usually, and I can get on with work just fine, but I'm still unable to move on into another relationship, and just have a general feeling of unease or maybe even unhappiness all the time.
It's really starting to feel quite draining - I'll even admit to a sudden outbreak of tears the other day upon hearing a sad song that reminded me of her. I also have a strong sense of time ticking away while I'm only able to wait to be 'ok again'.
I guess in a nutshell I'm asking for general tips on how to truly and finally get past this, and also mildly concerned that I may be genuinely depressed (no libido, socialising is a chore, no activities outside of work anymore).
Thanks in advance all who read this.
TL;DR: | It's been more than a year since I was dumped and I still feel as though it happened yesterday - what gives? |
SUBREDDIT: r/BreakUps
TITLE: 3 year relationship over, 22 fresh out of college, back to square one. How to rebound?
POST: So, my ex and I recently broke up after dating for 3 years. When we met she was 20/f and I was 18/m. We met my sophomore year of college and dated up until my college graduation (she is 23 now and I am 22); which turned out to be the last time we were together before breaking up too. During the 3 years, everything was perfect in my opinion and I was there for her for everything (highs, lows, family separation, deaths of her best friends, you name it), especially when she needed support through nursing school. I fell in love with her family and planned on moving to her town soon after I found a job after graduation. Anyways, she said she was stressed with nursing school and a relationship stresses her out and so thats why we broke up. The bad part about the whole thing, I have an engagement ring, that she picked out, since we had talked about being engaged and I had talked to her parents about what our future holds and I was soon to officially ask for their permission for marriage. I know they would have given me a hands down yes because both our parents encouraged us getting married. Heck, I was excited about the thought of having kids with her.
So, while I am recovering from this break up, I am trying to figure where to start to rebound. A lot of my friends have went different ways since college graduation, so I have a difficult time getting somebody to go to the bar with me. I personally do not like to go to bars alone, nor am I a big fan of clubs. Should I try online dating? My current job has random hours so it adds difficulty to going out. I pretty much work, rest, and workout in my spare time. I moved in with my parents until I land a Job.
What would Ya'll suggest?
TL;DR: | I am 22, newly single after 3 years, almost enganged. Best way to rebound while living with parents, crazy work schedule, and almost no buddies to bar hop with? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My(28f) ex boyfriend (27m) has been keeping me around for over a year as a plan of revenge.
POST: I could really use some support. My ex boyfriend just told me all this tonight: How he was always having sex with other girls, sometimes unprotected right before he would see me, lie to me constantly, do something to make me freak out, then get mad at me for freaking out, then go do something else to piss me off.
He said he wanted me to hurt as bad as he did when I lied to him early in our relationship. It was a mistake of mine to lie, but it was regarding a friend who I have drunkingly made out with, someone who meant nothing to me. He was in my group of friends. Yes I would stop seeing him (where I would only see him in group settings anyways) if it came down to it.
It is my fault for always going back, but he would always do something that would entice me, make me think things will change. But it was all his plan.
I gave 110% to work things out with him. I was honest, loving, there for him consistently, while I was just used. I feel like I wasted a whole year and maybe even lost part of myself. Well I know I lost a part of myself.
I could go on and on and on. My head hurts from crying so hard. I just can't fathom that I fell in love with someone like this. He purposefully hurt me for over a year. Who does that????
TL;DR: | Ex boyfriend has fulfilled his plan of revenge and told me everything tonight. sparing no details. I feel so worthless. How did I fall in love with this man? Why was I so blind? |
SUBREDDIT: r/personalfinance
TITLE: Lifestyle catching up to salaries
POST: I'm a big fan of this sub and have learned a lot from reading but was hoping some of you wouldn't mind sharing your unbiased opinions about my case.
My wife and I (28 and 27 respectively) moved from Texas to NC, away from both sets of families, to accept new jobs (double promotion!) in July of 2013. We went from making $75k combined to $118k. Therein lies our problem.
All of this extra money went flying out the door enhancing our lifestyles instead of our savings account. I do have a budget that we are pretty good about sticking to and we both contribute to our company's 401Ks. I just wonder about our overall financial health and what we could be doing more.
**Income**
Take home pay (after health, dental, 401k) ~$6200
**Monthly Expenses**
Remember I said we went a little overboard given our CC situation...
Rent $1595
Car Leases $590 BMW, $415 Benz
CC Min. pmt $400 (actually 2x the minimums but I treat it as such)
Student Loans $315
Insurance $195
Cable+Netflix $130
Grocery $400
Gasoline $250
Electric $100
Entertainment $250
Individual "burn money" $150 each = $300
**CC Debt**
We have a little over $1250 left over each month to pay down our credit cards. We have the following:
CSP - $4600/$12200
Hyatt - $1300/$5000
CapOne - $0/$5000
Amex BCP $3600/24000
Amex SPG $500/$12500
Wells Plat - $5500/$12500
**Savings/Retirement**
We do alright for retirement thanks to generous company matches.
Me: 11% + 6% match + 3% year end bonus = 20% of my $58k
Her: 5% + 4% match = 9% of her $60k
Emergency fund is no bueno: ~$500
TL;DR: | Take a look at the numbers and tell me how we are doing and how we could be doing better......please and thank you. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: [19/m] Left girlfriend [19/f] alone for the day, asked for a break that same evening
POST: My girlfriend had an old friend coming to visit her from germany. I decided that I would give her the day to herself as i didn't want to feel like i was intruding. I told her that i loved her and she replied saying that she was going to miss talking to me the whole day.
A few hours go by and she texts me, saying that her friend left. We talked for about 30 minutes and then she told me she was going to meet up with another group of friends. I told her again to enjoy her day and to text me when she got back, still no problems.
That night on facebook she sends me a message. No faces, no acronyms, just plain text and punctuation. I ask her how her day was and she replied "it was good. I need to ask you something" I told her to ask away and she said she wanted to go on break. Nothing i've done in the last few days has warranted us going on break. In fact, we just passed the 8 month mark and we were looking pretty good up until last night.
I told her that she could have the week to herself. I really didn't know what to do at that point, and because I didn't think I did anything wrong I thought that something personal might be going on with her.
TL;DR: | My Girlfriend and I text happily in the morning, she spends the day with her lady friends and asks to go on break. Should I be worried? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: How can my husband [23M] and I [20F] help my Father-In-Law [55M] when he won't help himself?
POST: I have known my husband's dad for the whole time we have been together, which is about 7 years. From what I have seen, and what my husband tells me, he is a giver. But he gives to the point where he is running himself deeper into debt. My husband's family knows that he is bled dry, but they keep asking him for money (for useless things) and he keeps giving.
My FIL is on disability and get's a set paycheck every month. It is to the point where he keeps on getting paycheck advances to 'help' family members. The money he is giving them is for concert tickets, to pay for a new car, ect. Things that are NOT life essential. We recently asked him how much he owes, and it is around $5000. While this doesn't seem like much, this is in a very rural town and well below the poverty line. $5000 might as well be $50,000.
We have told him multiple times he needs to take care of himself first and all he says is 'I know' and he keeps doing it. We have asked family members to stop asking, especially when we know they have different means of making the money, but they continue to do so. It is really like talking to a child whenever we have these talks. It is getting no where, and I am thinking that it may eventually effect our relationship with his family.
How in the world are we supposed to get through to my FIL when he has the desire to, but won't, help himself?
TL;DR: | How do I help my FIL when he is about $5000 in debt from money grabbing relatives, and he won't do anything about it? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Am I [F17] wrong in asking my boyfriend [M17] to quit doing chewing tobacco?
POST: My boyfriend and I have been dating for over a year and a half. I have depression and I used to cut myself. My boyfriend asked me to stop a couple of months into our relationship and I did. I have not cut since he asked me to stop, other than one slip up about 2 weeks after him asking me to stop.
My boyfriend has been dipping since he was 11. He told me he wanted to quit when we first started dating. It began to to disgust me beyond belief a few months ago. . I asked him to try and stop 4 months ago. He said he would, but then continued to do it telling me that it was wrong for me to change a part of him.
A few weeks ago he said he wanted to stop after I talked about how I was scared for his health. (He had gotten 6 cavities and the dentist told him it was from the tobacco and it was causing his teeth to rot out.) He told me that I will have to deal with it for awhile before he finally decides to quit. He said he would slow down and not dip as much. It's been about 4-5 weeks later and he hasn't slowed down. It is making me mad. I don't even have the want to kiss him anymore.
I stopped cutting myself for him. Am I wrong in asking him to quit his bad habit for me? When I relate it to me cutting myself he tells me it is two completely different things. What do I do?
TL;DR: | Stopped cutting myself for boyfriend, however he won't stop dipping. Am I wrong in wanting him to stop, in fear of future health problems? What should I do? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Do guy friends ever say I love you and not mean it weirdly?
POST: I (f22) have a close friend (m24) of 4 years, named 'John'. We sometimes fight. It's usually something really silly but gets intense. We always are fine after. Anyway, we had a big fight last time and he ended up yelling "I love you" at me. It totally shut me up and I just dropped everything and didn't say a word. Next day we met and talked and it was normal, I think?! I honestly wrote it off in the context of the fight, where I had said I'm convinced he HATES me and he was just saying that isn't true. Now he's slightly cold and I'm not sure - but then again we did fight. He ISN'T completely ignoring me though, and when we talk he seems pretty normal...I have no idea how to take this. I thought if he meant "love" it would somehow have been a bit different. He almost seems mad at me? Do guys just say I love you ever, like girls? We are close, so it could be friendly?
TL;DR: | Guy friend yelled I love you at me, but I don't understand why it didn't seem like a big deal after? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: SO's friend is a cheater and Im uncomfortable with them hanging out. Advice?
POST: Thank you for taking the time to read this.
A little background my SO and I are both 32 and have been together for 2 1/2 years. We also have a 4 month old daughter. We have had some issues recently regarding him searching on online dating profiles and we are currently working on rebuilding our relationship. Which makes me ask you fellow Redditors if I am over reacting and just need to get over it.
My SO is good friends with another guy who my SO has confided in me runs around on his girlfriend. They also have a younger child together and every time he mentions they will be doing something together I cringe. Recently they have been hanging out and its usually very innocent and for a limited amount of time. But lately its been increasing in frequesncy and I expect that to continue.
Now here is the problem I am having. I now can not stand his friend. It makes me sick that hes cheating on his girlfriend while they are living together with a young child. And it upsets me that my SO hangs out with him. Especially considering my SO and I are in a very similar situations as far as living together with a young child. But I dont know if I am letting our recent trust issues persuade how I feel. In my opinion you tend to have friends that are similar to you or atleast that you support and it concerns me that he would still value his friendship. Am I being an absolute judgemental bitch? Do I bother saying anything to my SO? Or should I just let it go?
Any advice would be appreciated
TL;DR: | SOs good friend is a cheater and I have concerns with them hanging out. We are getting over our own issues in our relationship and Im not sure if I should bother mentioning to him I am uncomfortable. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me 21M: Never been in a relationship, best friend thinks I'm gay, sister thinks I get girls all the time and parents have stopped asking
POST: In short, I'm a really awkward guy and a lot of the time I put up this wall around people, I think it's a defence mechanism so that people can't hurt me. I think that if I let them in and let them see me they'll hate it, which I think is quite true. But I also think I don't like a lot of people, which generally stems from them saying something 'cuntish' which lets face it is a lot of people.
My best friend always takes the piss and tells me that I'm really edgy, but he's hypercritical and nobody else has ever told me that before. I also think my voice puts people off because I think it sounds really squelchy and sort of slurrish and I've been trying to improve it but it's so hard.
Basically I'm pretty sure that my life would be better if I put myself out there more in terms of going out, but I feel like people would judge me for it, especially if I was to attempt speaking to girls. When I go out (rarely) I never approach girls, which means it's only the really touchy ones that approach me and that kinda makes me feel ill, due to conflicting emotions going on inside, and it kinda makes me feel like I just shouldn't bother going out at all, because I'm too polite/not knowing what I want to be like "err, don't do that". Most recent example was when a girl came over to me when I was working (in a bar) and asked for a kiss and me being me had to excuse myself by saying "err I'm too shy" but really I'm not sure I would have wanted too even though she was pretty cute, just because I didn't know the person, that's normal right?
TL;DR: | Anyone else feel like the most awkward, emotionally/sexually stunted man-child and how/would you deal with it? I want to improve my interpersonal relationships of every kind. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [18F] and boyfriend [18M] of 1 year, going to colleges 6.5 hours away from each other in the fall , scared for the future
POST: I apologize if this is long to read. To start off, I have been with "Patrick" for about a year now. He's my best friend as well as my boyfriend, and although we're seniors in high school, our relationship seems to be more mature than most between kids our age because of our mutual respect for each other and our ability to communicate effectively. We're both extremely happy and needless to say, I absolutely LOVE this boy. One problem: I'm going to art school in the fall about an hour away from home and he's going to engineering school about 6.5 hours away. We've discussed it and we both want to try to make it work, but both of our majors have an extremely heavy workload and he'll also be playing a sport on top of that, so I'm not sure how we'll be able to make time to see each other or even talk to each other very much. I'm also terrified of him meeting someone else/cheating on me with someone more like him (engineer type) in my absence and not knowing about it because I'll be so far away. Is it really possible to make things work or do I break off this amazing relationship before one or both of us gets hurt? I'm really afraid for the future and I don't know what to do.
TL;DR: | high school boyfriend and I going to colleges 6.5 hours away from each other, unsure of how to make the relationship work |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [17 M] with my girlfriend [16 F] 1 year 2 months My girlfriend wants to start smoking.
POST: Alright, so it starts out with her trying out a vape from one of her friends. This was somewhere in May I believe. She asks to try it and she likes it due to the high it gave her.
This was somewhere late June. She got asked to try a cigarette. She tried it and liked it. It's like she wanted more.
This was pretty recent. About 2 days ago. She asks for a cigarette from this friend. She told me about it because she does tell me everything. I kept trying to tell her don't start smoking now. I don't want any harm happening to her and then something bad happening. So, she says she will stop the smoking but she will still vape (which still bothers me but I'm okay with it). Today, I think she did vape with her friend but now she's wants to smoke cigarettes again. I'm trying to get explain to her that a cigarette is harmful but she won't listen and keeps saying I don't care.
I really don't want her to do this. I don't want her getting caught by her parents, getting caught by my parents and then them telling me to break up with her, I don't want her to suffer in the future because she wants to get off of cigs but can't. I really don't want that addiction consuming her and then her aging faster and smelling like cigarettes and then she ends up getting really unhealthy.
I just really want her not to start getting into that. This was because of her "best friend". I prefer her to do the safer alternative and just vape. She wants that small high but she says that the cigarette and the vape is not the same. What do I do?
TL;DR: | Girlfriend vaped because of her bestfriend, she tried a cigarette, and wants to do more of the cigarette. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: 24/f boyfriend is 23. I feel like we might be breaking up and I'm not sure what to do.
POST: We have been dating for a little over 2 years. I think we have a fantastic relationships we rarely fight or argue we have an awesome sex life his friends like me, my friends like him, parents like me and my parents like him. He started classes again and I know that will make his days much more hectic and I work 40 hours a week. We used to hang out maybe 5 days a week. Now with classes starting it's much less. I saw him Sunday and I probably won't see him until Thursday.
I feel like we have not been talking as much since his class started two weeks ago and I thought it was just because we are both busy but today we were texting a bit and he said he wanted to lay down he didn't feel well I asked him what's wrong and he said he feels like shit about everything. I ask him if we were okay and he said I guess I'm okay I asked him to elaborate and that it made me a little nervous that he didn't give me a straight answer and he responded I just feel like shit I'm going to laydown my head is pounding. I said okay feel better and that I love you and he said he loved me back.
To me this is just really strange. His birthday (23)is tomorrow and I think he said he sometimes feels blah around his birthday because he is getting older etc...
About two weeks ago we had this big conversation about him finishing school and he said that I am his driving force and he wants nothing more than to be with me and that he loves me more than anything and I have no idea how much he loves me. That made me feel really good...but now with his vague responses tonight and us talking less I am a bit concerned. Am I being stupid? I can't help but feel hormonal right now because I'm PMSing so I'm probably making a mountain out of a mole hill. What do you all think? Your posts are really appreciated. There has been no indication or conversation or anything that would lead me to believe that he is unhappy. We truly have a great relationship and we have talked about a future.
Thank you.
TL;DR: | boyfriend started classes so we are seeing each other much less I asked if we were okay and he gave me a vague strange answer and now I am on edge. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Boyfriend getting frustrated with my lack of sex drive. What to do?
POST: My BF and I have been dating for coming up on 4 years. I'm 23 he's 24. We've been though thick and thin together and its very hard to imagine being without him.
He makes me a better person, and I like to think I do the same for him. We've always been able to work through our problems before but this one seems to be sticking around like gum to the underside of a desk.
I simply don't have the sex drive I did when I was nineteen and we were living apart. These days I'd say we average twice a week, but he asks/tries at least once a day. I hate having him down constantly, and I hate it even more when he becomes whiny and withdrawn after I turn him down.
Its been going on for about a year and a half, we've talked about it what seems hundreds of times. I've tried many so many different solutions, but it keeps getting worse. Last five or six times we've talked about it he says he can't stay with me if this is way its going to stay. In one sense I feel like he's threatening me, in another I feel trapped because I don't know what else I could do, and in other I agree with him.
Maybe we're just sexually incompatible? Anyone have some advice? Maybe something else I could try?
TL;DR: | 23f + 24m together 4 years. Currently having sex ~ twice a week. He wants more, threatening break up. Advice? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My [23f] girlfriend is gambling to break up with me [23m]. Should I let it happen and hope for the best, or cut it off first?
POST: We've been together (very long distance) for nearly 3 years and we've been planning for her to move to my city in 2 months.
She prefers her current city, definitely, but she is currently unemployed and I have my dream job, which is why she has long since agreed to move here.
But tonight she just applied to a job in her current city that is *her* dream job. I know she will take it if she gets it, and I also know for certain we couldn't survive indefinite long distance. We both know that if she takes the job, she's throwing away the future we have planned (we have most definitely planned to get married in the next few years).
The job itself is a little bit of a longshot, maybe she won't get it, and then I "don't have to worry about it." But I fear the damage has already been done. How could she do this, she knows we will break up if she takes this job, so by applying, she is essentially already trying to break up; if it doesn't work out, she will fall back on me.
TL;DR: | Long distance girlfriend of 3 years has been planning to move in with me, basically just took a chance for something "better" by applying to a job that would result in our break up if she gets it. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [23 F] with my ex-boyfriend/good friend [25 M] 3 years, I need help getting a sociopath out of my life
POST: He is incredibly charming, good looking, and intellectual. He is also a sociopath. I am not in love with him, and never have been, but I am absolutely addicted to him. He slowly chips away at my self esteem and then brings me up again right when I've almost sunk too far. I have told myself a million times that our friendship needs to end, but I haven't had the strength to do it.
I'm scared of what he will do if I cut him out completely. I don't know how he might try to fuck me over someday way in the future if I upset him. He is the most manipulative person I know. I admire him for his charm and ability to get what he wants, but I hate him for how he plays with people's minds. His nature goes against everything I value. I am completely disturbed by his dark side and intrigued by it at the same time.
Him and I have had many incredibly enjoyable experiences together. For the most part, he is very friendly, engaging, and a great conversationalist. His abuse is not overt - it's insidious. I have analyzed every minute detail of our relationship and spent countless hours trying to sort out why I feel so shitty. I'm tiring out my loved ones by talking about him endlessly and it's not fair to them anymore. That said, they have no idea what it's like to be in relationship with someone like him and I don't expect them to understand how convincing he can be.
I'm posting to see if anyone else has ever experienced something similar. How did you get out of it? How do I get myself out of this? How can I make myself seem valueless to him so that he will let me go?
TL;DR: | Manipulative/sociopathic friend that I need to cut out but can't seem to find the strength. Asking for people to share any similar experiences. Advice is welcome... |
SUBREDDIT: r/Advice
TITLE: Working out
POST: Alright so I'm pretty new to working out, I just graduated high school and I've only worked out a few times while I was playing basketball for the school. I am pretty slim, about 6'4, 165 lbs. and I have a little bit of a gut. I recently have decided that I want to join the Air Force to serve my country and get college paid for but I know there are a few physical requirements. The problem with this all being that I 1. HATE lifting weights 2. Have exercise induced asthma and 3. Haven't extensively ran since basketball ended. Where I stand now is as a kid with a gym membership in hand and very little knowledge as to how to "get healthy," I need some nutritional help (I'm picky), I need a regimen, and I need more information about ROTC for the Air Force (which I'm in the process of getting, but anything is nice).
TL;DR: | going to Air Force to get help with college, can't currently meet physical reqs. and I need advice to get there. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My fiance [23, M] and I [22, F] have been together 3 years, and he has a huge spending problem, and lies about it.
POST: I love my fiance very much. He's sweet, loyal and funny. We've been living together for 3 years and have pretty much built a life together. We jointly own a car, horses, dogs etc. We got engaged recently, and were planning on getting married Feb 2015. Unfortunately, he's not very responsible with money. About 6 months ago he got us $7000 into debt on our credit card, buying things without telling me etc. What was worse though, was he would lie about it when I confronted him. He's constantly covering it up, refusing to show me receipts, not taking the debt seriously. We had a huge fight about it, and I threatened to leave him if he didn't start controlling his spending, I told him how important it was that he be honest with me, and that I needed to be able to trust him. He was very apologetic and said he would try harder.
I thought things were improving and going well. We slowly but surely started paying off our debt, and I trusted him when he said he wasn't spending money or using the credit card. Yesterday, however, I discovered he's been lying to me again. He's spent another $2000 on the credit card without consulting me. I don't know what to do... I love him so much, and I don't want to leave him, but I can't be with someone I can't trust. And I feel like his lack of self control is a reflection of how little he loves me...
He says he can change, that he'll stop spending and will be honest with me, but he said that last time. I feel like I can't trust him. What do I do?
TL;DR: | My fiance lies to me about his spending and gets us into massive debt. I feel like I can't trust him, what do I do? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: back with my [38 m] ex-wife [38 f] who cheated on me and i can't forget what she did to me
POST: my ex who i divorced when i was 27 for cheating on me and i started a relationship again (please read my previous posts if you need more info about it) and things were real good between us for like 2 months but for the last 2 or 3 weeks i can't get that image of her having sex with that other guy outta my head and it's really bothering me. i mean now every single time i see her that image just pop inside my head so it doesn't matter what she does or what she says i just don't believe her at all. my question is how can someone forget something like that and spend some quality time with the one you love.??
TL;DR: | back with my ex-wife who cheated on me and having problems since i can't get that image of her having sex with that other guy outta my head |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: How to keep interest over (yikes) the internet. [M16][F16]
POST: Like two and a half weeks ago this girl whom I had met at a Halloween party and gotten REALLY into texted me. I had just gotten over my huge crush on her when she texted me too which was weird haha.
We had been texting for two weeks, sometimes I would start a conversation, sometimes she would. I tried to see her in school as much as possible, "coincidentally" showing up in front of her next class. We had limited conversations before class started because I didn't have much time in the hallways.
We have February break so I have no time to see her in school, and don't know what to talk to her about randomly over vacation. She has slowly stopped messaging me first, but she always replies with long responses. ( I've been snapchatting her rather than texting recently)
I am dreading losing a possibility of a relationship because I was really into her even when she didn't talk to me, so now I'm way over the top into her. ( I know, its dumb, I'm sorry) what should I say to keep her interested and not lose any sort of conversation? I'm sorry if I'm being over the top and making a big deal out of this, not trying to waste your time.. I just feel uncomfortable telling her my premature feelings.
TL;DR: | I'm really into a girl and I can't talk to her for a week or so as its winter break, and I'm feeling she's getting less interested in me. What should I say or do? |
SUBREDDIT: r/loseit
TITLE: New Diet/Exercise - Shin Pain Issues
POST: First off, I'm not incredibly obese. I'm 5'10" and 215 lbs. About 6 months ago I tried to go back on the same diet/exercise program I used 3 years back to lose 30 lbs. Basically, lower calorie intake, exercise 5-6 days out of the week, running about a mile or two. After a week of doing this, my shins hurt so bad I could barely walk after a run. I fell out of the diet and just continued to gain weight.
Recently I noticed I am back to where I was 3 years ago, weight-wise, and decided I needed to get back into shape. After a week and a half of running, it is happening again. I'm sticking to the diet really well, running almost daily, and losing weight. However, last night I tried to run and had to stop 0.5 miles in because of the pain. I got back home and my legs hurt like hell. I took two advil and the pain eventually subsided.
I thought it could be my old and cheap tennis shoes so I went to a running store and was fitted with some new shoes, hoping that it would help my shin splints. After 5 runs there still has not been any progress and it is still very painful. Can anyone help me out? I really don't want to fall out of this diet. I have tried walking but it takes double the time to burn the same amount of calories, and even then, the shin splints still hurt. Any ideas/tips?
TL;DR: | Want to get back in shape, not morbidly obese, shin splints making runs very painful, bought new shoes, help. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My bisexual GF (22) and I (22), after 5 years, broke up because of lack of physical attraction...
POST: Hello everyone, happy holidays...
My gf and I had been going out for almost 5 years, she is bisexual but it's never been an issue nor did I believe it would ever be. When we began dating she was very sexual, although we waited about a year to have sex we were very handsy.
About a year ago I noticed our relationship was less sexual than it use to be. I simply attributed the lack of anything sexual due to our school and work schedules being so demanding. We don't live together and both have big families meaning someone was always at our respective homes, but when finally we were alone nothing happened.
After several more incidents of this occurring we talked about and she simply said she was tired or hadn't realized she was doing this. Well finally a couple of days ago we once again discussed this again, and she tells me she hasn't been feeling a sexual attraction to me or anyone. She told me she loves me and doesn't want to lose me but there's no physical attraction, she no longer wants to have sex, and it's an issue she's been dealing with for awhile.
I was devastated, after about 3 hours we decided it was best we break up so she can have time to figure stuff out. I am happy for her she finally got it off her chest but I can't help to feel like shit.
My self-esteem has been completely destroyed, after 4 years in a relationship she lost her physical/sexual attraction for me. I can't help to wonder if it's something about me that caused this and I can't even look at myself in the mirror without thinking I am some kind of loser or something. I'm asking those which a similar situation may have happened to them, how did you cope? Am I wrong in feeling like shit about myself because of this?
TL;DR: | After 5 years my gf lost her physical/sexual attraction for me and we broke up. I feel like shit and don't know how to cope with this situation. |
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU by almost fighting all of my friends
POST: Very new to this site, so bare with me.
Soooo, I got the great idea of going to the beach with a bunch of friends. Well, while at the beach I made some very poor decisions while blackout drunk, like getting in all of my friends faces, and using some very choice words while belligerent drunk and almost fighting some of them. I've never been a violent drunk, nor have I had any of these incidents occur frequently, I am usually a very happy drunk with no fucks to give. But, today something happened...
I've been friends with all of these people for quite some time but, it has been a while since I've talked to any of them or joked with any of for a few months due to being split up at college. I REALLY wish I hadn't done any of this and would really appreciate a chat with any them in an attempt to fix it. The thing is that I don't know if they will accept an apology due to the fact that I was so persistent in my drunken stupor.
TL;DR: | I'm pretty sure I ended some longtime relationships over some stupid overreaction due to a mix of alcohol, the sun, and bad tempers. I just don't know what the fuck to do. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: I need relationship advice. Not sure how to talk to bf or if I should call it quits.
POST: I have a wonderful bf, we've been together over 5 years. He lives at my house, helps with bills takes care of my daughter like she was her own. He even does chores.
However he likes to drink. 4-5 times a week, but about once a week he will get drunk to the point of blacking out. Sometimes he will do crazy things, say things that make me cry, try to start food fights, delete albums of photos. Last night he broke several things, all his. Toppled over a desk with his computers on it and smashed a few things. I didn't see it happen, but from the damage it looks intended.
I'm sure when he wakes up he won't remember. I've tried talking to him about this behavior before. In the mornings after he always agrees with me. He will stop for a week or two.
I'm starting to get scared. Not sure if I'm overreacting?
How do I talk to him? I'm thinking of telling him he needs to seek help or I'm done. I'm at my wits end.
TL;DR: | Great bf. Drinks frequently, blacks out on occasion and makes me cry or breaks stuff. What to do? |
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU by getting the nerve to ask a girl out
POST: This happened a few months ago, but man did it mess me up. I'm an incredibly shy guy around women. I always have been. To the point where introducing myself out of nowhere is a nearly impossible task.
So this new girl at my work shows up, and she's *gorgeous*. And that's rare, because I work overnight shifts, and by and large, pretty people can't be bothered to be working this late. Trust me, there's a shocking lack of sex appeal on my team, both male and female. Eventually, the moment presents itself. She's working alone, I'm just getting off, and also just clocked out. So I walk up to her, talkin' as smooth as a cat's tongue. I make my way around to asking her if she'd any plans after work, and she said no. I invite her to get something to eat, and she accepts. I get her number, and text her to give her mine.
I wait until she's off to text her, and ask if she'd like me to pick her up for breakfast. No response. I figure, whatever, she's getting ready. So I do the same. An hour later, no response. Trying to keep my cool, I refrain from texting her any more. Two hours pass, and I shoot a text along the lines of "are we still good for breakfast?"
Nothing. Over the next few days, nothing. Absolutely no form of correspondence. I kinda sat down for a while with that blank "what the fuck" kind of expression, then just slept for the rest of the day. It was awful.
TL;DR: | first time I've ever introduced myself and asked an attractive girl on a date out of the blue. Was rewarded for it by getting stood up. |
SUBREDDIT: r/dogs
TITLE: What's the best way to stop another person's dog jumping on you?
POST: Hi guys,
I have friends who own a GSD Malamute mix. I love dogs but this guy is a bit of a pain in the ass. Whenever me and my gf visit them, we try our best to just ignore him, but unless they're physically restraining him when we arrive he jumps up at us and gets really hyper. He's a very big dog and his claws have caused quite a few scratches and grazes on our arms and chests. It can be quiet painful, and my gf is quite petit and he nearly knocks her over.
They are completely in denial about this being a problem for guests in their house, and they say "he'll grow out of it" - he's 2 and a half ish. If it was my dog this wouldn't be acceptable. They have a young child, and when the kid has friends over they have to banish the dog stop him doing the same thing to the other children. He doesn't seem to get that "dog play" with people, especially little people, is not ok.
I don't blame him, he's a dog and he's just doing what he has interpretted to be acceptable. However, we're sick of it and we're starting to dislike going round there because he just won't leave anyone alone and nips at our hands all night and if you have food you can forget peace and quiet.
We love dogs, we really do, we walk strays together at our local shelter and it's wonderful. We can't have one of our own at the moment. But we don't think they're going to do anything to correct this problem, so what can we do to stop him doing it to us, hopefully in a way that doesn't offend our hosts?
TL;DR: | friend's large dog is hyper excited to see guests and jumps up at them which hurts, how can we stop him doing it to us?" |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My boyfriend [22M] is the chick & I [27F] am the dude...stay or go?
POST: I [27F] don't know if I should break up with my boyfriend [22M] It feels like we have no connection anymore when we hang out, just a friendly situation. No affection. Just laughs.
At first we had fun & were silly & affectionate towards one another. It's only been four months so I don't think things should have fizzled like this.
He's become more famine in our relationship & I have become more of the masculine role. Which is probably why I am turned off by him. I don't like being the guy in the relationship! Everything I do, say, or joke about is a serious sit down & talk about how I hurt his feelings.
He thinks he's so in love with me at this point he's blinded to the fact we really don't have much of a romantic connection, we aren't on the same level he's ready to jump into me moving in, a marriage & kids. I'm not ready even though I am the older one. I have even said, (even though it's tough to say & probably for him to hear) I am not in love with him & don't say those three words.
He has stated that we can rekindle what we had. To me it's done, but I am torn. He's a great guy, a guy I SHOULD want to be with, but it's just not there for me. I don't want to hurt anyone's feeling or make anyone feel less than great.
TL;DR: | I honestly don't know if I should stay with someone I don't feel a connection with keep trying or just leave the relationship. HELP! |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: To the married/newly engaged Reddit community- what made you look at your SO and think "I want to be with this person for the rest of my life!"
POST: Recently my generation (I'm 25 about to turn 26) has been getting engaged/married/having kids. They're all so young and idealistic and enthusiastic about their future with their SO- just starting off. Then I see couples who have been married forever with kids and responsiblities, and the partners have grown apart, sex is infrequent, and divorce seems more likely in the majority of the cases. Even my own parents split a few months ago after being married for 26+ years. I'm not at all bitter, just the opposite- I'm excited about my future and am in a current "in-between" phase relationship wise.
TL;DR: | starting off as young, enthusiastic couples full of care and commitment, are we destined to grow apart as roommates who love each other but don't necessarily like each other? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: A colleague at work [40sM] is encouraging me [24F] to apply for another job internally [after 18 months]. Concerned about burning bridges.
POST: I found work at a great company soon after finishing college. It's not *exactly* what I want to do, but it's pretty close. And the company really is fantastic to work for! (In my experience so far)
I'm in a very, very small team. A few of us joined around the same time, straight out of college, and there's our supervisor who's pretty experienced. We're pretty understaffed for what we need to do.
My supervisor seems like a nice guy. I was going through a huge amount of stress at home and found myself getting a tiny bit tearful once, and he was SUPER nice about it. Took me for a break and sat and talked for a half hour. But... He seems to constantly find reasons to be pissed at me. He'll give me a vague instruction, and if I ask for clarification for what he wants, he'll be mad. If I don't ask, I end up doing the wrong thing, and he'll be pissed. I can't win. It seems to just be me he does this with, and he seems worse when he's stressed... which is why I'm concerned.
A guy in another team, who has a role doing exactly what I want to be doing, heard of a junior job in another department and suggested me to the hiring manager. So I've got an informal meeting on Monday to speak to him.
Basically, I'm worried my supervisor will get super pissed at me if I'm looking at this opportunity, and it'll make things worse. And I'm also worried I'd be screwing over my team and my wider department, if I were to leave while we're understaffed. I'm obviously so grateful for getting my first opportunity with this team, so I don't want to be ungrateful or screw people around. (Or have them think that)
Thanks for reading guys. Any advice very welcome.
TL;DR: | May have an opportunity to move to a better role at work, but would leave current team understaffed. Worried about screwing them over / burning bridges. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My best friend (37F) was to take care of me (27F) after my abortion. She stood me up & hasn't called.
POST: I found I was pregnant April 23. I told very few friends. My best friend, 'Kate' has known the relationship between me & the guy I've been dating for a while.
We are best friends LIKE THAT & call each other sisters. We met the first day of our job over a year ago & clicked automatically. We both travel 100% for our jobs so don't see each other regularly but we talk about our lives, her marriage, sex, everything. We talk everyday. I have a relationship with her husband & 8 year daughter. I went to visit her in her home city last week for my birthday. We have talked about her in my wedding & I know many secrets of her marriage life.
From day one, she was supportive of whichever decision I decided. She wanted me to have the baby but still agreed to come in town to be there for me post abortion. I had a breakdown one day after I found out & was in ugly cry tears & called her & we talked for hours.
I had a medical abortion. I was scheduled to take the second set of pills Wednesday and she was coming in town to be with me. I booked a hotel room. She called me Tuesday morning about 930am. I called her back about 15 minutes later. She never called back and and never responded to my text messages. I knew after an hour of her not calling me back she wasn't coming. My gut just told me.
It's Friday and I still haven't heard from her. Ironically, the night I took the pills her daughter text me 'hey' but I didn't respond.
Kate is usually on FB a lot but she hasn't posted but I've seen her active on FB messenger. Her husband & daughter have my number , we work at the same company so there are many ways to contact me.
Our relationship is over to me at this point. It'll never be the same. She knows my history with trust & relationships & how this was personal for me. Luckily my boyfriend was there with me both nights. Originally we were going through a tough time which is why she was coming.
What do I do when she calls?
TL;DR: | 'best friend' was supposed to take care of me post abortion. She was no call no show. How can I be her friend again? |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Was anyone else completely fucked over by Alaska Air today?
POST: Their computers that provide flight plan data to the pilots went down today. My flight was delayed 5 hours all the while everyone was assured that their connecting flights through Alaska Air would be delayed and noone would miss them. What ends up happening? Arrive in Seattle, with no connecting flight, a 5 hour line to get to the customer service desk, and HORRIBLE customer service from every Alaska Air employee. I know they are a favorite among many, but I have never been treated so poorly by an organization in my life. The customer service reps didn't apologize and didnt seem to care at all that they fucked up your travel plans. They fucked up so many flights in Seattle today that they have a huge backlog of unsorted luggage that needs to be redirected - and are refusing to return anyones luggage. So here I am, in Seattle, having missed my connecting flight, with no luggage and a burning hatred for this miserable airline.
TL;DR: | Alaska Air fucked up all their flights today, then treated everyone like shit while they dealt with their unorganized clusterfuck. Anyone else have a new sense of hatred for them? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me 25m - sending stuff back to my ex with a letter for closure. Is it wise?
POST: So I used to get a magazine delivered to my house on behalf of my ex. I got through the final issue today. I have a few other little things belonging to her and it'll probably fill up an envelope.
I've had pangs of uncertainty about sending it though, partly because she still hasn't returned my things. She was far from perfect and I know friends would slap the shit out of me for even debating it.
I feel like she's hurting, and honestly I feel bad that I never got to apologise. She wanted us to get married and I just pushed her away and never was just honest about why I didn't want to get married (fears of leaving my father alone).
I thought I could kill two birds with one stone. Send her stuff, write the letter of apology, and hopefully it sparks something in here to return my stuff while also giving me the closure of knowing I apologised.
TL;DR: | Have unfinished business with an ex. Want to return her stuff with a letter of apology (even though she has no intention of doing either). |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: How can I access the content of a banned subreddit?
POST: I know what you may be thinking and no it's not a porn one. It was a self-help community where one of the moderators tried to scam people so the subreddit was banned. The community there was incredibly vibrant and there was a ton of awesome content that was put up through a lot of hard work by the whole community. I would love to go back and access it.
I understand deleting all the content if the content was of an illegal nature but otherwise should it not still be accessible? I don't expect the sub to be put back up. Just the ability to access things I wrote along with the work of others.
Thanks for your help.
TL;DR: | SUBREDDIT WITH LEGAL CONTENT WAS BANNED AND I WOULD LIKE TO BE ABLE TO ACCESS IT AGAIN |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: [19/M] How to get over my girlfriend[19] of 6 month's sexual history?
POST: Me and my girlfriend have been dating for 6 months now, and it's honestly been the best 6 months of my life. I love this girl tremendously and she loves me too, and even just after 6 months I can't imagine my life without her. She took my virginity, but I didn't take hers. In fact, she's had sex with 3 guys before me. Now I know this isn't a lot compared to a lot of girl's sexual histories, but it's more extensive than mine and I think that's why it bothers me. She was very open about her past when I asked her about it, because I know she trusts me. She only had sex with each of them 1 time, and from what she described to me, they were all assholes and only used her to have sex and then threw her to the curb. Now when I first found out about her having sex with 3 guys before me, it hurt me a lot. I just couldn't imagine the girl that I love with any other guys, especially having sex with them. Now it's been about 4 months since she told me and I've pretty much gotten over it, but not completely. We've had sex countless times, so I know she's had sex with me more than the other guys combined, but it just bothers me knowing that she's had sex with 3 others before me. Is there any way I can just completely put this behind me? I know that the past is the past and there is nothing I can do to change it, and I almost wish I didn't know anything about it. But curiosity got the best of me. This is by no means ruining our relationship, because I love this girl too much to let something as stupid as my jealousy over past relations get to me. I know I'm being irrational but I just care for this girl too much. Any suggestions?
TL;DR: | Love this girl. She took my virginity but she's had sex with 3 others before me (only 1 time each). Know I'm being ridiculous but can't quite seem to get over it. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: How do I (F/21) tell the guy I'm dating (M/22) about a past sexual assault?
POST: In January 2013 I was sexually assaulted by an older guy I met at a party (a few days after the party, we were both sober, he wanted to do something that I didn't and he was a lot larger than me so here we are). I went to therapy for a couple months after the fact and truly believe that with awesome support and help I overcame the bulk of any damage that was done, except that I don't tell anyone what happened because I'm afraid it would make people look at me differently, like I'm some kind of damaged goods.
This not telling anyone extended into a serious relationship I had from Oct 2013-Dec 2014. It was an alright relationship, but I could never bring myself to tell my ex what had happened to me. We slept together fine, but it always bothered me that there was this secret between us.
Now I have been seeing a new guy for about a month. He's absolutely lovely, and things are going great! I see this turning into a solid relationship. Sex is good, getting better as we get to know each other better. He's very kind and I can tell he likes me a lot. I like him a lot too and I don't want to make the same mistake I made in my last relationship, so I do want to tell him what happened just because I feel like it is a kind of significant thing in my history and I don't want to feel like I'm hiding this dark thing.
But, I don't know when I should tell him, or how I should bring it up. I don't want to wait too long and have it be like, why didn't you bring this up before? But I don't want to scare him off or make him think about that whenever we get into bed, you know? Has anyone else dealt with this issue (from either side) and can offer some words of wisdom?
TL;DR: | I was sexually assaulted, I'm entering a new relationship and I want to tell the guy about it. When? How? Help! |
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU By not having health insurance after fracturing a vertebrae and some ribs.
POST: So last weekend while having a beer at my cousins apartment in Brooklyn, NYC I sat a ledge on his balcony, leaned too far backwards and fell 20-25 feet into his back alley.
I fractured my T6 vertebrae and several ribs and have been in the hospital since Saturday.
Today was the first day I got in touch with a social worker while in the hospital and she informed me that the back brace I need to start waking and get discharged costs $500 and they won't even consider making it until I pay for it. I have no insurance as mentioned.
Luckily the social worker applied for emergency medicaid to cover the hospital visit but this doesn't cover the back brace. I have about $200 to my name so I'm sitting around trying to figure out how to put together the rest.
Something about the fact that I can't leave without getting this brace, but I can't get the brace unless I can pay for it seems like just the sort of cruel irony that is almost difficult not to chuckle at.
Anyhow that's my sorry reddit, what should I do?
TL;DR: | I'm on painkillers and bored at the hospital. I can't leave until I pay for a back brace I can't afford so I'll be sitting in my hospital bed for a while. Cheers. |
SUBREDDIT: r/dating_advice
TITLE: Is this awkward girl crushing on me or is she just shy?
POST: Ok so I've known this girl since elementary school and now we go to the same university. We've always had mutual friends but I would not say that we were good friends, more acquaintances since we've gone to the same schools most of our lives. She used to be good friends with one of my best friends who's had a thing for her forever, and i dated her best friend for a very short period of time in high school, but besides going to a couple of her birthday parties and study groups over the years we never really interacted much. She's a pretty shy girl and doesn't really have great social skills, and has had a hard time meeting new people at the university because of it. She's always been friendly but in a more quiet kind of way, and we never hung out just us.
So in the past couple of months we ended up hanging out in small groups a couple of times and drinking, etc. She seems to be interested in my personal life here at the university and has tried to exchange numbers a couple of time but it didn't happen for some reason. She mentioned how we have things in common and think similarly. After the last time we hung out she had texted my friend saying she wanted to do it again some time, but i couldn't because of work.
This week a ran into her on day and she went out of her way yelling hi at me as she walked by. Then a couple hours later the same thing happened when i was walking by where she works. I went up to her to say hi and she was pretty awkward and seemed nervous, like she just kinda babbled and accidently saved her name without her number at first when i gave her my phone. I don't really get why she would feel uncomfortable around me, so I'm wondering if she might be crushing on me?
Seems weird that she would be uncomfortable around me if she's brave enough to yell hi across the room at me. I've known her for a long time and i can't really remember her reaching out to hangout or being awkward before, so I figure she has a crush. Any thoughts?
TL;DR: | Girl I've known most my life as acquaintance has tried to start hanging out with me, seeming awkward and nervous when she didn't before, and going out of her way to get my attention. Crush? |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Breast augmentation for gf birthday, bad idea?
POST: So my gf of 2+ years has always been extremely self conscious about her breasts, and it's been a huge drag on her self-confidence and self image. I like them just fine, and often tell her that, but she's still very reserved about herself. She doesn't like exposing them, letting them be seen, and refuses to go to the beach or anywhere that would require a bathing suit.
She doesn't make a lot of money, and I asked her a few times if surgery was something she'd consider, and she said she wouldn't. However, I'm thinking it's more to do with the cost and recovery involved then anything, because she's always saying confidence is extremely important to her and she's said quite a few times that she wished she had better breasts. She's also said she doesn't like fake plastic boobies, but from what I've read, a good surgeon who does it properly will leave her with boobs that still feel natural. *Any advice from people who've gotten implants?*
So I was thinking of seeing with a plastic surgeon if I could set up an appointment for her, she tells them whatever she wants them to do, and they bill me for it. However, I'm a bit worried she might get offended or take it to mean I don't like her boobs and find them unattractive, which is not the case at all. *Thoughts?
TL;DR: | Gf extremely uncomfortable with her boobs, does not like them, wishes she had better boobs, causes lack of self confidence. I want to pay for plastic surgery but don't want her taking it to mean I don't like her boobs |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My brother (m 21) is having a fling with a girl (15-16F?) younger than me (17 F)
POST: Okay, so tonight I was having a little get together with a few of my girl friends, casually drinking, that sort of thing. Until my brother showed up with 3 people, that's when I got a bit hostile and killed my buzz. So I left home after 20 minutes of watching him hold her, and watching her drink until she was a sloppy mess (I told her to slow down and just have a good time, but my brother encouraged her to drink even more!)
Earlier today, I've heard things going around saying that they were partying together last night, and he tried to bring her home! (my other brother told me this) Unfortunately for him (my 21 year old brother), my step-sister was home and sleeping in her room, so nothing happened.
Honestly, I don't have a good relationship (he physically gotten violent with me twice now, and my parents neglected it both times and blamed me for each incident!), I actually hate my brother, but like I don't want him to get into legal trouble. Because it will cause shame to our family, and in our area people are wanting reasons to hate us. So it isn't helpful to us as a whole.
My brother also deals with schizophrenia, however, I'm not sure if he's taking his medication since he's living with my dad since friday. Also, my dad told him it was okay for him to be off his meds, if he was "normal" before. So, I definitely don't know if he has been taking them.
I actually did tell my dad what was going on earlier when I found out who it was, and he said he'd talk to my brother about it. But my dad has a history of neglecting major issues. So I'm not entirely sure if he will or not.
How in the world do I get my brother to cut the shit, and stop messing around with little girls?
TL;DR: | My 21 year old brother is starting to develop a relationship with a girl that is two years younger than me! How do I get him to stop? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I think my(33) wife(30) of 10 years is cheating with our marriage counselor, please tell me I'm wrong...
POST: My wife(30) and I (33) have been married for 10 years. We have known our marriage counselor for longer than we have been married. We have been going to see him as a counselor for about 2 years and change. My wife goes to him for personal counseling also, regularly. We had an appointment with him on Friday, and my wife asked if I wanted to not go since they were just going over the budget(she pays the bills). I wanted to go, and she seemed a little disappointed.
On saturday night, they and a group of other people were going out. I couldn't go because I had to work. I was home well before she was, and started netflix on the laptop(wife's main computer).
And saw an email from our marriage counselor about the event they were going to. It was sent on Thursday night, and in the middle of the email was "if you come on your own tomorrow, we can wrestle then too.". The next morning was when she asked if I wanted to not go. He signed off that email exchange with "good night princess"
All other email had been deleted, except sent items where I found the princess comment.
She jealously guards her phone and deletes every message that comes in almost immediately. I picked it up after she got home from school and saw a text from him saying he was giving her a fbh. She asked what that meant and he responded "full body hug". She responded "oooooh, yay!" He responded with "my 2 is here, ill text later" they sign every text I've seen hh.
The next day I was fiddling with her phone and she went from happy to agitated instantly.
Please tell me that there is an innocent explanation, that I'm being paranoid. I plan on asking her about it tomorrow, but I'm a bundle of nerves right now.
TL;DR: | Our marriage counselor of 2 years, who has been a friend for longer, and my wife are sending what I'm really hoping aren't sexual texts, please tell me I'm paranoid! |
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