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SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [19M] with my girlfriend [18F] of a couple of weeks - she keeps mentioning an ex-FWB. What do I do?
POST: I've recently begun a new relationship with a girl I met about a month and a half ago. She's great, she asked me to be her boyfriend, and everything seems to be going very smoothly. Not sure if this is particularly relevant as well, but I go to college about an hour and a half away from her and see her about one to two days a week.
While everything seems to be good, something is irking me: she has dropped a few hints about a previous relationship with her ex-FWB, suggesting she isn't entirely over him or her relationship with him. She's said that "can't go anywhere near his school's campus" (which is about half an hour away from hers) because she hates him so much, has called him manipulative, and has said she can't watch certain television shows because manipulative characters remind her of him. When she talks about him it takes me entirely out of the moment, significantly bothers me, and makes me resent her ever so slightly for a second or two. Is it foolish to think that if she were entirely committed to me, she wouldn't be thinking or talking about him? Should I try to get her to open up more, or will that just hurt me?
TL;DR: | Girlfriend talks about how much she hates ex-FWB...is there something I should do/say? Does it make sense that it bothers me that she mentions him, even if when she does it's entirely negative? |
SUBREDDIT: r/personalfinance
TITLE: Fixing Credit History Inquiries that pull up another person under your SSN?
POST: Long story short,
My family immigrated to the US at the same time, pretty much landing my sisters & i with sequential SSN's. This normally wouldn't matter, however, my oldest sister and i (she's 10 years my senior) have very similar names (hers being an extension of mines, think Chris & Christine) pretty much having the Credit Bureaus assume that when my SSN is typed in, it's a typo redirecting to my sisters SSN.
This wasn't such a huge problem in the past as I never noticed it and she was the only one with dealing with Credit Scores (Student Loans, Buying a Car, Mortgage, adult stuff) and I was younger, However, as I've been reaching maturity and dealing with more and more credit related things, I've realized she never called and fixed the blunder as she said she would.
I've been able to get small credit cards (to build credit), but mostly store only cards at the retail places I've worked at to buy small things and build up credit, Recent purchase with the help of my dad has been a 25k Car Loan, where when we filed for the loan, putting my SSN as a cosigner pulled up my sisters Credit History and we had to deal with a few long phone calls to convince them I wasn't her and had a different social.
I don't want my CCs to be defaulting to her credit history and I want the benefits of paying off my car to go on my credit history.
Who do I call to try to fix this? Do I just call the 3 Credit Bureaus one by one? Is there a government office? I'm kinda lost and not sure what to do.
TL;DR: | sister has basically my name, sequential SSNs, my credit inquiries pull up her credit history, she was supposed to deal with it, never did, now I want to fix it for good and don't know where to start. |
SUBREDDIT: r/self
TITLE: Happy Independence Day, and Fuck Maine
POST: My mom and I are home alone for the Fourth of July. We had plans to meet up with my friend and his family, but she got sick from eating bad watermelon and started vomiting then went to sleep. I just cooked a frozen pizza, the only food left in the house, because I'm hungry and haven't had dinner yet.
After I finished cooking the pizza, I took it out and began cutting it. Out of nowhere, the pizza flips over my head, burns my hand, and lands face down on the floor. I picked it up, but it wasn't salvageable; the cheese was gone and the rest was coated in a layer of hair and random bits. I threw it out, then noticed that the blanket in which I'd wrapped myself was covered in cheese and sauce as well. The blanket was taken from my bed and I don't think I have any others, so now I'm pretty much freezing for the rest of the day and overnight.
I just checked my favourite delivery pizza places and others in the area; nothing seems to be open.
I'm going to go have a glass of wine.
TL;DR: | My mom is sick and I'm cold, burned, hungry, and alone on a holiday because of watermelon and pizza. I reiterate, Fuck Maine. |
SUBREDDIT: r/askwomenadvice
TITLE: My exgf who left me after a period of me treating her bad when i was depressed messaging me saying she really misses our friendship
POST: We broke up 8-9months ago now. I was distraught for a long time, made all the stupid first time deep love mistakes of begging/pleading.
The whole period since breakup has been very hot and cold. I still love her insanely but what she put me through at my lowest point i don't think i could get over, despite how awful i was during our last few months.
Everytime we see eachother i'm either too polite or i pretend to have not seen her. Things have very much been awkward.
She messaged me today moaning about insulting her about her hair colour when all i said is i preferred it the colour she had it when we were together, that she wants it to be civil and that she really misses the friendship.
I can't do this though, because i love her. It's too hard. Worst thing is though we live in a small town with so many mutual connections its unreal.
TL;DR: | I love this girl but friends is too hard for me, i don't know what to do and i can't avoid her. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [35 M] with my Wife [31 F] of 4 years, had a HUGE fight during a night of drinking.
POST: We were out with a group of friends, and friends of friends (FOF) at a bar. Having fun talking, drinking, laughing, taking pictures.
My wife snapped a picture of this guy
TL;DR: | Wife was potentially flirtatious with a guy and freaked out when I questioned her about it. Really freaked out. Should I be worried? Or was I just out of line? |
SUBREDDIT: r/legaladvice
TITLE: [MI] Former roommate and I owe our former leasing company over a thousand dollars and she's refusing to pay. (X-posted in relationships because I may be an idiot)
POST: Long story short my former roommate, I'll call her Rhea, and I were both subleasers on the original lease. Things got really out of hand which eventually led to just her and I being in the apartment and revising the lease to be just us. The former leaser, I'll call her Lacy, decided she wouldn't get a sublease for her portion of rent and her parents would just pay her portion. 2 months before the lease ended, her parents changed their mind and left us to fend for ourselves (after claiming we had no proof that they were supposed to be paying - Lacy stole the contract her mother made us sign so we really didn't have a way to prove it after that. Yes, I know we should have made more copies). Rhea and I both come from poor families and worked minimum wage jobs part time while being full students, so we had no way of being able to cover Lacy's costs. This ended in court fees, back rent, and late fines that accumulated to over a thousand dollars.
Rhea moved back home and decided the debt was out of sight and out of mind. The leasing company did not make efforts to contact us about it until almost a year later, telling us they'd send it to collections if we didn't pay it. Rhea decided it isn't her problem anymore and won't help me pay it off. I can't get accepted to sign another lease because of this and I don't have the money to pay it on my own. I'm running out of options as my lease (I'm living under the table with a friend) ends in May and I won't have a place to go afterwards.
TL;DR: | Got fucked over by one of my former roommates and the other refuses to help pay the debt we owe and I can't sign another lease because of it. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I (20M) want to ask a girl (22/23F) in my choir out, when is the appropriate time to do that?
POST: She's new in the choir and we have had two practice sessions since she started. We have also hung around after for a beer or two (which we always do with the choir) and have talked quite a lot. I have gotten some hints of mutual attraction, for example: glances from across the room, the fact that the last time we took a beer she came and wanted to talk to me when I was talking with some other guys when there were many others to talk to and the fact that she stayed late and talked with me that night. There were some other people there too but it was mostly us talking.
These hints may just be me reading into it too much or me being one sided, as I have done in the past, but as oblivious as I can be I still think this might be the real deal.
So I'm asking you guys for a second input. Does she like me? Do you think I should ask her out? And if so, when?
Thanks in advance!
TL;DR: | New girl in choir and I seem to have mutual attraction towards each other. Have been talking alot and had two practice sessions together. Should I ask her out? If so, when? |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Found out that I've been getting ripped off by someone I thought was a friend, what can I do?
POST: So here's the story:
After 1st year living in residence, I decided to live with a guy, a classmate of his, and the roommate of the classmate. He and his classmate found the house and asked if I was still interested, I said yes.
The plan was that due to the zoning bylaws in the area, there could only be a maximum of 3 unrelated people on the 2-year lease at any time, so I never actually signed the lease, though I was still considered a "permanent" member of the house.
2nd year I moved into the house, and I was told by the original guy that rent was $400/month+utilities since the total rent for the house was $1600/month. He also said that I was to pay him, since he'd already given our landlord postdated cheques.
I was fine with paying that, since it's pretty cheap considering what I got for it, and I have been paying that for the last few semesters that I've lived here (now on my 3rd, though I was paying the balance when someone else was subletting my room for less).
Due to a massive fuckup on my part, I'm now a year behind the original housemates, and "off stream" from them, so I will never be in school at the same time as them again (My university alternates between 4 months at school and then 4 months on co-op).
Last night I was talking to one of the original housemates who is on a co-op term but still trying to find a job in the area so he can live here. He accidentally let slip something about "375" and when I pressed the issue, he told me that rent was only meant to be $375/month+ utilities, as the house rent was only $1500/month.
My question now is: what should I do to get back at the person who has been ripping me off /how should I approach this issue? (They don't know that I now posses the information that they have been ripping me off)
TL;DR: | – Just found out that a person whom I thought was a friend has been ripping me off for rent for almost 12 months, and I'd like some advice on how to deal with him. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My boyfriend [21M] broke up with me [20F] and it feels like I'm never going to get over it.
POST: About a month ago, the person I was completely in love with broke up with me. He's broken my heart and it's getting to the point when it feels like it's never going to fix.
After he did, one of my old friends (male, 23) and I got talking, and yeah, we had a friends-with-benefits thing going on. He's also just called it quits because it "didn't feel like just sex" to him, but it did to me.. that's pretty complicated anyway. For some reason, the rejection from him as well makes the heartbreak from the other relationship feel 10x worse? Why is it so impossible to get over a heart break - I don't really know what to do anymore?
TL;DR: | heart broken for the first time, slept with someone else whose calling it quits, feels like I'm never getting out of this little devastation-rut |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Request for Advice: I Fell for an Email Scam, Can I Stop the Junk Mail?
POST: Hi Reddit,
Thanks for reading my post. I have always been cautious about scams on the internet, and as a result I haven't received much junk mail (I get one junk message a month at the most). Recently I didn't realize something was a scam until it was almost too late. I submitted my email address, but when the next step was giving my credit card information I knew it was a scam. The problem is that I already submitted my email address, and after just one day I have received about 10-15 junk messages. Does anyone know how to stop this?
I am wondering, since it is just one junk mail that I fell for, if I can block a specific list of email senders affiliated with this particular scam. This scam is for a "free dell laptop," if that helps.
TL;DR: | Is there a way to stop a deluge of junk mail that started after I submitted my email to one fraudulent website, so I can nip this in the bud? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My [26 M] wife [26 F] is not sexy
POST: My wife is a kind and beautiful person. She is physically attractive, very much so, but she is just not sexy, and it's kind of caused our sex life to take a hit, at least for me.
She struggles with self image and is not very confident in herself, no matter how often I compliment her, or how often I tell her she is beautiful. As everyone knows, confidence is sexy. She doesn't have much.
When she "tries" to be sexy it's just goofy, and she always ends up hurting herself... and I'm not even kidding. She will try and straddle me on the couch, bang her knee and wince for 5 minutes. She will try to walk seductively up to me on the bed and stub her toe. If she recovers, she'll knock something off the nightstand and break it. Each attempt she has made to try and be sultry has ended up comical, it's hard to get turned on when she does these things. Even when she successfully makes it into the bedroom without hurting herself, she ends up making a joke of the whole thing and starts cracking up at herself for the way she is talking.
I love her very much and part of the reason I fell in love with her is because of her goofy personality and clumsiness, but it's almost like she can't turn it off. We still have plenty of sex, but i'm just not as into it as I used to be. I want her to be more confident and assertive in the bedroom, and I've told her this on a few occasions, but it never ends up working out.
This isn't an ISSUE issue, but I'd just like some advice on nipping this in the bud before it becomes something bigger.
TL;DR: | Wife attempts to be sexy and fails, hilarity ensues and ruins moods. How can I help her confidence in the bedroom? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My [20F] unemployed ex-boyfriend [23M] owes me $500 and I don't know how to go about getting it back.
POST: I broke up with my ex of nearly 3 years about 2 months ago. We had a great, comfortable relationship and were best friends, however I felt my love had turned platonic and I was also having trouble accepting that he was always out of work or had some new scheme going on, he couldn't stick to anything.
Our break up was for the most part amicable. At the time it was mutual, we both agreed we had problems and needed to go our separate ways, but in the days/weeks following, he back-pedalled and wanted to get back together. I was pretty much his only close friend and he was/is really struggling. After our last conversation he deleted me off facebook because he didn't want to see my posts which is fair enough, but his sister and family also deleted me which was weird.
Over the course of our relationship I lent my ex a lot of money - he paid most of it back as soon as he could, but he still owes me $500. Now that we have gone firmly no contact how do I go about getting back the money without upsetting him - I know for a fact he will not have the money right now as he's unemployed again.
TL;DR: | ex boyfriend who recently cut off all contact with me still owes me $500 that I want back eventually, but I know he does not have the money right now. How do I go about reminding him/getting the money back? |
SUBREDDIT: r/askwomenadvice
TITLE: 23(M) - What is the ideal way a man (stranger) would approach you/talk to you if he is interested in you? Both online and in person. Location could be helpful too.
POST: I'm a 23 year old male who recently has tried (and failed) many times to meet someone who could potentially become a girlfriend. With each of these failures, I think more and more that it must be my approach or something that I'm doing, rather than terrible luck (although, I haven't completely counted that out yet either haha). I feel am pretty limited in how I can meet people at the moment (I have graduated college and work full time) so I am on a dating site and Tinder. The select few who I do manage to strike up a conversation with on these seem to lose interest quickly. I try to have legitimately meaningful conversations with people, ask them about the things they like/talk about in their profile, joke around, etc etc. I am possibly coming off as overinterested, but the alternative is being dull, and in the competitive world of online dating, I feel I need to separate myself from the dozens of other guys that likely contact them daily. I have also tried meeting people in real life (aka bars) with the same luck. I personally don't like this method anyway because the environment and state of mind people are typically in doesn't foster a good initial connection. But at least here, people can see the "real" me and my personality.
Anyway, that's about it. I think I covered it all, but I can provide more information as requested. I really appreciate any thoughts or advice you have. :)
TL;DR: | Single guy who has either really bad luck or is scaring girls away needs help on how to attract one for a serious relationship. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [26 M] with my Ex [26F] dated for 5 years, remained friends. How to ask out again?
POST: Me and my ex split up after dating 5 years from high school. She said she needed time and space. At the time i got drunk and said some silly hurtful things, but a month or so after we started to become friends again.
It's been 3 years and neither of us have really dated since each other and are now catching up 1 or 2 times a month. I'm thinking about asking her out on a date, as i feel we are both in a good place with each other.
Is it ever ok to text her to do this and say something like 'i'd like to go on a date with you, let me know what you think?' or should it always be face to face? I just don't want to make her feel pressured and doing it by text may give her some time to think?!
thanks,
TL;DR: | Me [26 M] with my Ex [26F] dated for 5 years, remained friends. how to ask out again? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [27/M] and my fiance [27/F] are on the verge of breaking up.
POST: Hey everyone. First time posting here (had to create a throwaway for this). Looking for someone to share an impartial view on this situation with me. I dont live near my family so i dont feel like I have anyone i can talk to about this.
Me and my fiance have been together 4 years and have 4 kids together (1 of which is biologically mine. All of which i love like my own).
We are having a really hard time at the moment. We seem to argue relatively frequently, but its not an issue of frequency, but potency. What starts as a small thing seems to get blown out of proportion and my partner threatens to break up with me everytime things get tough.
If i try and keep calm and talk about the issue, im controlling. I am never right and am always the one thats at fault. I feel like i have to walk on egg shells all the time around her. Because anything i say can be taken badly and dissolve in to her trying to take my daughter and threaten to break up with me. I dont know what to do. How much of myself do i bottle away till there is nothing left of who i am for the sake of holding the relationship together.
I love my partner and when things are good, they are great. But things just turn around so quickly at the drop of a hat. And the thought of not being around my kids, kills me.
I moved quite far to be with her so im not near any family or friends. So i have nowhere to go. Can anyone offer some advice.
TL;DR: | relationship on the verge of ending. I dont feel like anything i try works and i cant bear the thought of losing her or my kids. Help! |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [38 F] with my husband [49 M] of 12 years, have become quite indifferent to one another.
POST: I think our problems became about 3 years ago, with the birth of our daughter. Being quite clueless about the demands of a small child and not having any family support, we have really struggled.
I returned to work after our bub was 9 months. On my husband's preference, I went along with using my Aunt to look after our daughter whilst I went to work. But the number of childcare hours was grossly inadequate for what I needed. I had a full time job to do in part time hours. I worked most nights to make up time. I was in terrible stress, tired and frazzled all the time. Despite continually complaining to my husband that we needed some different childcare, nothing changed until our daughter was 2, which is when he noted that I was progressively angry with him and it played out (not purposefully) in all manner of things. In hindsight, I think I was probably depressed.
Despite things improving for me, we have spoken about it and we agree that we don't really have a relationship with each other anymore. When we are together, we are fully focused on our child (I think we are very dedicated parents) and we have no time for each other. In the last year, I have often pointed out to him that I still do not always heard, on both big and trivial matters. Eg. When I say something to him, I often get no reply. When I am sick, I have told that it is important that he just asks how I am feeling. His response is always that I don't need to ask because I can see for myself. I've also suggested to him that he could help me more, as I often struggle to eat lunch everyday (whilst he manages to have lunch everyday). All these suggestions seem to fall on deaf ears, or with very little changes. So more recently I feel quite indifferent towards him, too, to the point that I cannot bear to touch him anymore. Suffice to say, we have been intimate for a while now.
TL;DR: | My husband and I are both agree that we are largely living separate lives and feel quite indifferent to each other, what should we do next? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: Both [27/f] When did you 'get your shit figured out'?
POST: Been together for almost a year and a half. Me [27/f] always been pretty mature for my age, was talking to girlfriend [27/f] last night about why she hasn't been so engaging and talkative lately. Into the convo, she says something along the lines of not knowing what she wants.. marriage, kids, etc. She has a career and a job that she loves, but basically feels like she's in a rut. Not sure if this is normal for someone our age and i'm just a little ahead of the curve in knowing what I want, or if this is strange.
Basically, just looking for stories of people that have been in similar situations where one person has plans and goals, and the other is still figuring things out.
TL;DR: | Redditors that have been a relationship and didn't 'have their shit figured out' so to speak, did you stay with the person? Did it work out? If you stayed together, are you happy now that time has passed? |
SUBREDDIT: r/dating_advice
TITLE: What has worked for you in online dating?
POST: I've used three different online dating sites in two different countries over a combined period of 10 months. I have had probably a dozen so conversations, and exactly one meeting. Clearly, I must be doing something wrong.
I'm not really interested in anyone analyzing profile or anything (though I'll answer questions).
What I am interested in is what has worked for other people out here. I could browse various threads about "how to be great at online dating," but I'd really rather hear actual stories of when it worked. If any guys out there did something that they thought helped them, Please let me know. Also, I hear a lot complaints from women about online dating, so I'd also like to hear what it's like from their perspective when it feels fun or positive.
Oh yeah, 32m.
TL;DR: | Not sure what I need to do get online dating to "work." Interested in here the details of other people's success stories. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My girlfriend (20) says she's sad all the time because of how happy I (21F) make her and it doesn't seem healthy.
POST: My girlfriend of about three weeks now used to make me really happy. It's a long distance relationship, and we skype all the time and it was great. But recently I've found myself getting more and more aggravated with the ordeal.
She always assumes the worst if I don't message back right away and always thinks I'm mad at her or something. I've tried telling her that if I had a legitimate problem, I would talk to her about it, but she carries on either way. Plus, she gets sad very often and her happiness seems very dependent on me, which doesn't seem healthy.
To top it all off, I'm not even sure if I really want a relationship anymore (I fear that I mixed up platonic feelings with romantic feelings), but the last thing I want to do is hurt her.
TL;DR: | My girlfriend's happiness seems to be dependent on me alone, and I don't even know if my feelings are truly romantic. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Not sure if I [20F] cheated on my boyfriend [21M].
POST: I'm a 20 year old woman in a relationship with a 21 year old man. We've been dating for 2 years now and have been in a very committed and happy relationship.
We go to the same school and have been dating since fall semester of freshman year. During the winter break of that year though, he went back home and I was pretty much left alone for a month.
During that month I had about a 2 week internet relationship with another man. I was stupid, and I was curious. He was a 29 year old grad student on omegle who I had a really decent conversation with and asked me for my email so that we could keep in touch. I gave it to him, but his emails became more and more sexual in nature. I didn't now how I could break it off politely so I sort of played along for awhile. He kept on pressuring me to get naked for him, and it got to the point where I took off my shirt for him once.
A couple days later, I blocked him from my email and have not contacted him since. It's been 1.5 years since then and I haven't done anything even vaguely unfaithful since. I have told my boyfriend once that when I was away from him I took off my shirt for a guy on the internet once, but was kind of unclear on the circumstances and he was okay with it. Should I tell him about the sexual messages too?
I feel really bad about the whole thing and am not really sure what to do. Does what I've done fall into cheating?
TL;DR: | Don't know if 2 week encounter makes up cheating. Have had happy relationship since. Should I tell boyfriend details on what happened? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [17 M] with my ex [17 F] 2 months, Broke up because I wanted to focus on my education
POST: So me and my ex girlfriend broke up a while ago. We dated for 2 months but i saw a gradual fall in my grades right after we started going out and I know its a shitty reason to call it off but I had to.
Now its about 3 months later, we still pass each other in the corridors and in the common rooms but we have intimidate stares every time one of us enters the room. I kind of like it. The problem is that because im the one that broke it off, I dont know if its alright for me to start the conversation so casually. I want to start talking again but how do I just start a conversation? I notice her sitting on her own in classes and I have the urges to go up to her and socialize but i keep double doubting myself.
Dont get me wrong, I'm a very sociable guy. I love people and I love talking so when i dont have an opinion on a topic, thats very rare. Which is why I find this very weird.
TL;DR: | Broke up 3 months ago because of my dumbass and now I dont know how to be normal around her. I miss her but I honestly just want to start talking again. |
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU by charging my phone...and blowing it up
POST: *Obligatory: this didn't happen today, but about 5 years ago.*
**Backstory**
*I was 13 years old, and I got my first job. I saved my first month of pay (like $100), and bought this new cell phone that I've been drooling over for months.*
About a week later, my mom is at work, and I don't have a charger for my phone.
I search the house and find a small USB charger, and an old extension cord, but no wall adapter for the USB charger.
I get the bright idea to strip part of the wires and splice them together, so I could *make* a charger.
The genius inside of me told me that it was a perfect plan!
Well...not quite.
I grabbed a steak knife from the kitchen and got to work. About 20 minutes later, I had an ugly, ~~but functioning~~ homemade charger! I sat back and admired my work.
I wrapped it all up in electrical tape, and plugged it into the wall outlet, then fumbled around looking for my ~~prized possession~~ phone.
I found it, and eagerly plugged it into my homemade charger
#POP
There was a spark, followed by what I can only describe as the worst smoky smell and heartbreak a 13 year old could encounter.
I completely fried the phone, and my hopes and dreams as a teenager.
Parents got home, laughed, and asked me how I thought that could have been a remotely good idea.
TL;DR: | 13 year old bought cell phone, made a charger from extension cord and old charger, cell phone fried along with 13 year old's hopes and dreams |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [24 M] with my crush [24 F], Crush tells me she is into women?
POST: Fairly competent man here, just confused.
I recently have been having great conversations and chemistry with a girl when she is not working. She tells me to come in when she is working, so I can chat and keep her company on a slow night when she is bartending.
My first night in the bar, we continue to have great chemistry, and she makes effort to touch my arm mid conversation, and always makes great eye contact.
I am not desperate to find a girlfriend, thus not overlooking any signs, but later into the night, she tells me she really likes hooking up with women. I ask her if she has dated any men recently, and she says she has been almost exclusive to women as of recently. Then she proceeds to keep flirting with me and continues the conversation to other topics.
Don't know if I am an idiot, but what is going on here? Is she hitting on me?
TL;DR: | If a woman tells you she has most recently only been into women, but aggressively flirts with you on multiple occasions, should you go for it? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [20,F] with my boyfriend [22,M] we have been together three years, but currently struggling with a lack of intimacy?
POST: Me and my boyfriend have been together for three years and there have been ups and downs. We are currently on a down.
He was recently diagnosed with depression, stopped talking to me for two weeks and asked me to not contact him, started talking again two months ago and we have suprisingly been OK since and he has seemed happy, recently got a new job and been chirpy.
He is on anti-depressants, however, which have completely taken away his sex drive. I thought no sex would be difficult but manageable, I can sort myself out and see him afterwards for a cuddle (apologies for TMI) but I've been finding it really really difficult. I find myself lying in his bed after he has gone to sleep feeling so lonely and distant from him.
He doesn't really like to kiss but will if I ask him to kiss me, he does like to cuddle though and has been extra cuddly recently because he knows it's been upsetting me.
He has said he doesn't want to change medication because it's the lowest dose he can be on, and has said he doesn't want me to try and get him in the mood because it could be embarassing and said he would rather wait.
But he could be on this medication for another 6 months - a year and I don't know what to do, I just feel so lonely and unsatisfied to be honest.
And I feel awful also because I've started fancying other people and thinking about other people and seeking attention through other people. Although I'd never be unfaithful to him, I'm finding myself flirting and being suggestive just to get that attention...
TL;DR: | boyfriend is on medication which have taken away his sex drive, and I don't know how much longer I can deal without the intimacy and attention? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My [26 M] girlfriend [26 F] wants to try long distance relationship
POST: I met my girlfriend in the summer of last year. We had an amazing year together, fell in love, and learned a lot about each other. I care about her more than I've experienced in any other relationship. She's beautiful, incredibly smart, and kind. We have very compatible lifestyles and also share common long-term goals.
She recently got a job offer on the west coast (I'm on east coast) and it's a great opportunity for her. We agreed she should definitely take it, but I was honest that I like my life / job / family here, and don't intend to leave.
She wants to pursue a long distance relationship, which I'm not really comfortable with. I would rather keep the memories we have together, instead of introducing the challenges / frustration of distance, which puts strain on even the strongest relationships.
She's sad because I'm not giving it a chance, but I also feel like there's no end in sight. Normally with distance, you know when you'll be back together, but this is all just unknowns.
She's been gone for a month now, and I miss her every day. I've never felt like this in my life. She still calls to check in sometimes, and hearing her voice lights up my entire day. I know she wants me to reconsider, but I'm scared that long distance will ruin everything we had.
My only past experience with long distance was really negative. The girl ended up being "too busy" to talk for days on end, and eventually turned out she was cheating on me. I know it's not fair to carry that to this new relationship, but I guess I can't get rid of how much that hurt.
TL;DR: | Met an amazing girl, she moved for work, wants to do long-distance, but I don't feel comfortable with it. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [24/M] with my GF [20/F] of 6 years, we are in a giant sexual rut
POST: Me and my GF have been going out for 6 years, living together for a year and a half. Everything about our relationship is amazing. We have the same mentality, the same kind of humour, taste in arts, everything. I truly believe that she is the one (so dumping her is kind of out of the question).
The problem is, while we used to connect sexually (like every young couple), the past couple of years have been a bit rough. She's super anxious and nervous about initiating sex, and she doesn't see it as a necessity in a happy relationship. I beg to differ on the matter, and it is a constant burden on both me and my girlfriend. I am not sexually satisfied and she's even more nervous to do anything about it.
We tried spicing our sex life up, but as of today, we are having trouble putting it practice. We have been through hell and back together, and we don't want to end it because of something so silly.
(Just to clarify, I am overly sexual, and I know my constant desire is a burden for both me and her, I try to dumb it down when I can)
TL;DR: | My GF have trouble initiating sex, as she too anxious and nervous. We are trying to fix the issue and work for a common ground. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: I am being blackmailed
POST: So I'm a college student and I was bored on a school night so I decided to get on chatroulette to try to do what every guy tries to do on there. In the process of that I stumbled on this "girl". She was pretty and all and she asked show for show. I said to get on skype so I wouldn't be banned from this website.
So we get into it and I show first since I'm such a gentlemen. I do it for about 10 seconds. Then "she" turns it off right after. I asked why and "she" said her mom was in the room. I didn't think anything of it. She then asked to add on facebook and I was like whatever sure. I add her and I notice she has about 11 friends and the profile pic doesn't look like her...
Fuck.
Something is wrong here.
I then get a message starting off with "let me introduce myself sir 'CincyDuder'... and it is a whole message saying how he has a video of me, link posted, and how he will share it with all my friends and family on facebook unless I give him 300 pounds (money) to western union to a certain address.
I don't know what to do and I really don't want that video getting out. Reddit what can I DO?! I am in distress.
TL;DR: | Chatroulette, met girl, show dick, expecting boobs, instead get blackmailed and the guy will show it to all friends. Help. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: May seem trivial, but should I question my faith in monogamy?
POST: First I would like to say that I am a heterosexual female (26F) who is a very monogamous person by nature. While I'm in a relationship, if I see an attractive man I don't tend to have any sexual attraction for him whatsoever...at best I think of him as simply enhancing the scenery. However, when I see an attractive girl, I get this overwhelming but fleeting urge to fuck the living shit out of her. It's weird, and don't know why it is...perhaps it's from an overuse of porn, perhaps I'm secretly bisexual, who knows.
My boyfriend (22M) thinks it's hilarious, and tells me it's pretty much exactly how he and every male he knows feels on a day-to-day basis. And therein lies the issue. I've been thinking about it more and more, and I'm wondering how anyone can really believe in monogamy if a huge percentage of their thoughts are occupied by having sex with other people? After a year in this relationship I know my boyfriend is a very sweet and loyal person, and I really have no fear he would actually cheat on me, but I do find it disturbing that he's constantly bombarded by these urges (especially if they're as frequent as the ones I get when I see an attractive girl.)
Mainly I guess I'm asking advice on how I can believe in the integrity of our relationship knowing this about him and men in general? I have no intention of being the thought-police, but how can I get used to the idea of going out in public with him, knowing that he can't have a conversation with me without being distracted by thoughts of ravaging every cute girl who walks by? How can I not feel awkward meeting his attractive coworkers and classmates knowing he likes to get down and dirty with them in his head?
I asked him how it would make him feel if I wanted to fuck every good-looking guy who crossed my path, and he said he wouldn't like it at all. Yet somehow I'm supposed to accept that he actively wants to have sex with every attractive girl he meets, and I should just feel happy that "hey, at least he's coming home to me at the end of the day."
TL;DR: | I'm worried that my boyfriend's "natural" inclination to want to have sex with every hot girl he sees is causing me to question how realistic the expectation of monogamy is in our relationship. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: [19/m] Interested in a girl (19/f) that also seems interested in me.
POST: Hi Reddit, I hope that you can give me some advice :)
I have met a girl that I have gotten interested in. We have known about each other for about a year now (notice the known about). We went to the same school but we both graduated from it.
We follow each other on Twitter, where she seems to like what I post and laugh about it and we have met once after graduation on a party where she hugged me. But at the party we did not really get the time talking since we got split up all the time. This is why it also looks like she is interested in me as well.
The thing is that I do not know how to take the first step to break the ice, and I think she is waiting for me to break the ice. The thing is that I am really horrible at keeping a conversation going especially in a chat and with a girl (I think that is where I should begin breaking the ice). I think I have finally managed to man up and say Hi to her on Facebook, and what's up, but after that I have no idea what to keep it going without it being me asking questions and her answering them like an interview. Usually after the ice is broken the conversations on Facebook goes quite well since then I can joke about what and they can joke about me and people I talk with can talk with me about all the random things in the world, but as mentioned, this is after the ice is broken.
It seems to me that I manage to break the ice with girls I only look for a friendship with quite easily but when it comes to girls that I am interested in I am terrible at that.
So
TL;DR: | I am interested in a girl, I guess she is interested in me a bit atleast. Horrible at breaking ice with girls, tips on how I can do that? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [27M] want to move back home, which is 2.5 hours away. My girlfriend [25F] of 1.25yrs doesn't know and I'm not sure how to tell her.
POST: I moved to a city 2.5 hours away a few years ago. I'm from a really small rural town back home. Moving to the city didn't work out as planned, bounced from job to job, scraping by financially.
Last year, I was ready to move far away and move in with my cousin in Virginia. Then I met my girlfriend and decided to stay. We moved in together and are currently living with her parents, as our lease ended and things are kind of up in the air.
I'm transitioning careers and have a lot of job opportunities back home, surprisingly, since it's pretty rural and the number of jobs in other industries isn't too huge. I miss my family. I miss my friends from home. I don't have any friends or family in the area out here in the city. The only connection to this city is my girlfriend and her family and now that I'm living with them, I almost feel trapped. When things don't go well, I have no where to go.
When discussing the job opportunities I have, she has said I should move home and that she knows I'll be happier there, but I feel like she's only saying that because she has a tendency to beat herself up and think lowly of herself. She's already got it in her head that if I move, it's not going to work. I'm not sure if it will or if it wont, but I know that I would be in a much better mental place if I were back home, which I feel like would have positive effects on our relationship. Even if that means seeing her only a few days a week, I think it could help, but I don't know how to pitch the idea with her without her thinking I'm doing it to get away from her or that I'm trying to end our relationship.
I apologize if this is jumbled and rambling, but things keep popping into my head as I write. There's probably even more that I'm not mentioning, but I can update if need be.
TL;DR: | I want to move back home, from the city to a small town 2.5 hours away, and don't know how to tell my girlfriend without making her feel unwanted. Help? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Too soon to have her [25f] picture as the wallpaper on my phone?
POST: Bit of a silly question here, but I've been seeing a girl for just over 2 months now and we upgraded to boyfriend/girlfriend last week.
Shortly after she sent me a pic of her in a dress. I was going away for a few days and missed her so I set the pic as my wallpaper on my phone. She doesn't usually wear dresses and doesn't much like wearing them, but I just thought she looked so gorgeous in it.
It's (slightly) long distance and I'm seeing her again tomorrow. I'm wondering if I should change my wallpaper. Girls, would you be creeped out by this or flattered? I wouldn't think anything of it except that we've been going out for such a short time. Thanks all :-)
TL;DR: | Is it creepy or flattering for your boyfriend of just 2 months to have your picture as his phone's background? What if it was a picture you didn't particularly like, or of you wearing something you don't like to wear? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Looking for someone to help guide me in a potential relationship that I don't want to mess up. [20M] she's [20F]. [Dating]
POST: I'm going to keep it short and sweet here. She's a girl I've known a very long time and have always wanted to date, but we never really had the chance to get close. she recently messaged me on Facebook, and I want to ask her out without moving too quickly or too slowly. I would like to make correct decisions and not run her off.
Extra info: She got out of a relationship relatively recently. I have little dating experience. We have not been on a date ever, and we havent seen each other in person for a while.
TL;DR: | I need advice on how to move forward in a relationship, but I feel like I need specific advice given the situation. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [22 F] have a friend [23 M] of a year and a half, he is becoming depressed with his singleness. How can I help him to feel ok?
POST: We've been extremely close since we met, and slept together for a while, on and off as we don't live in the same city, and are both expats in a non English speaking country.
But I've recently gotten a boyfriend, and it seems that his own efforts with other women are just getting repeatedly shut down or ignored. All too often the women he's tried to pursue have told him they're not interested (usually more subtly though, as in they will tell him they have a boyfriend in their home country) only to then hook up with one of his friends.
I can tell he's feeling very rejected, but all I can do is reach out to him online. And even then, I find myself very busy and preoccupied these days, and I haven't been able to support him as much as I'd like to.
I think he needs two things, the first being an outlet that will cheer him up and remind him to find joy in life outside of sex and relationships. The second is perhaps a way of meeting new girls, and perhaps doing so without his current circle of friends, who seem to swoop in on the girls he's trying to talk to all too often.
But he's a little awkward, and can lose confidence around women. I don't know what advice to give him, but I do know he trusts me and listens to me, and I feel like I owe him my support here. Things like this can make home feel so very far away.
TL;DR: | Friend is having trouble with dating, and it's making him depressed. Advice on getting him out there, or just happier to let what happens happen would be appreciated. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: [22 M] freaked out. Not sure if I'm [21 F] in the wrong?
POST: I have been seeing this kid for about two months now. We are not dating but we talk daily, went out on dates, hung out weekly, I met his friends, etc.
However, we were texting one day and I told him about a family emergency that was going on. He breifly asked me about what was going on but didn't talk to me for the next couple days, not even bothering to simply ask if everything was okay.
He apparently was very mad at the situation and that I told him about it because he freaked out and was yelling at my friends for putting him in such a situation. (We met through our mutual friends). He claimed he had so much other stuff going on and he didn't need to deal with that. Saying we were just friends and we never dating and it wasn't his problem.
It was never my intention or never did I ask him to put his life on hold for the whole situation. All I did was mention it to him. A simple 'Hey, everything okay?' or 'How is everything?' would have been respected.
I haven't spoken to him since I heard about his reaction. He texted me earlier acting as if nothing happened but I haven't responded.
Am I in the wrong for this or is he just overreacting? How should I go about the situation?
TL;DR: | Seeing this guy for a few months. Mentioned a family situation to him that was going on. He got very upset about it saying it wasn't his problem. Didn't speak to me. Who is in the wrong here? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [21M] want a break from my GF [21F]. We are in the 7th year of our relationship.
POST: This is literally all I can think about. All I have known is this person. I feel like I'm married. We are best of friends, but that feels like all it is. We live together and have for 2 years now. I'm just entirely confused. If we go on a break I could be throwing away something amazing, but how will I know if I don't do it? It's starting to really take a toll on me and our relationship. I'm so confused because when I think about telling her lets go on a break or even ending it, I start to think of all the great times we have had and how much I do still love her. But I just don't think that I can keep this up. Am I meant to have the same GF my whole life. I don't know. Any advice on this would be greatly appreciated.
TL;DR: | Confused as to whether going on a break will be beneficial because I still love her.. But I feel like I might love her as a best friend. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My [22 M] Christian girlfriend [20 F] can't make up her mind on sex
POST: I've been dating a girl for roughly a year and it's the most blissful relationship I've ever been in. She's sweet, affectionate, and caring and I think it's not unrealistic that I see myself spending my life with this girl.
Recently, we started diving into the topic of having sex for the first time. We're very sexually active in all departments BUT sex. Sex is a big step for the both of us, as we're both Christian and virgins, although she comes from a much stronger Christian family. We both decided that we were ready and would take the step when the time was right. Over the past few weeks, she's been changing her mind on the subject. She says that she'd be heartbroken if she had sex before we were married and that the guilt she'd feel would ruin her relationship with God. After a few days of calming down and accepting the waiting, however, she decides that she is ready. This has happened a couple times and it's very emotionally exhausting.
Yes, I would wait for this girl and don't want to pressure her into anything she'd regret, but why does regret have to be a factor? Now that sex has been put on the table, it really stings to have it taken off. Is there anything that can be done to see this through to a happy end? If not, what can I do to at least make the waiting easier?
TL;DR: | Christian girlfriend is being on/off about losing our virginity to each other. What can I do to help her make up her mind and, if we end up waiting, how can I make the waiting easier? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [24F] with my bf [23M] of 4 years are wondering how to deal with being attracted to others.
POST: Hi reddit community,
So I've recently started to wonder if it's okay for your partner to
feel attracted to other women even if you're in a long term
serious relationship. I'm okay with my bf thinking someone is
attractive but I feel uneasy when I see him going out of his way
to talk to them (in person and via text message) and asking them
hang out without involving a mutual friend/s. Aside from that, he
doesn't tell who he thinks is attractive. I've tried to get him to be
more open about it but I haven't been successful. I know that part
of the reason is because of me being jealous in the past and not
being able to be okay with him talking to other girls. So what do
you all think- is it okay to be attracted to another person and go
out of your way to spend time with them alone and talk to them?
TL;DR: | Want to know if it's okay to talk and hang out with someone you're attracted to (and at one point considered dating) even if you're in a long term serious relationship. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Redditors who've been in car crashes: How did you get back behind the wheel after the experience?
POST: I was involved in a 5-car wreck this morning on my way to work. Luckily my sister (passenger) and I are both unharmed, though two of the other drivers were taken to the hospital. I believe everyone is going to be okay though.
It was a terrifying experience and the first serious car accident I have been in as a driver. Basically I was driving SB toward the Harbor Tunnel in Baltimore when a pick up truck came barreling through traffic cones from the NB side. I slammed on the brakes to avoid it and ended up being hit by a minivan as I swerved away from the truck. I couldn't stop shaking for a while. It was incredibly jarring.
My brother-in-law picked us up, and now we are home resting. I want to use my time at home to get things done, but the idea of even driving my sister's car to the grocery store seems scary right now.
For anyone who has been in a serious wreck, I am wondering what you did to overcome the fear of driving and if you have any suggestions for after the wreck?
TL;DR: | Was in a huge wreck, but am afraid to get behind the wheel again. Looking for suggestions from others who've been in crashes.*** |
SUBREDDIT: r/dating_advice
TITLE: She and I have a great rapport, but I'm not Albanian.
POST: I work a late night shift as a manager. I used to have a few people, but I've had to fire everyone and it's down to just me and this one girl, the same age as me **(21).**
We get along well, we're in the same position in our lives, and I think we'd be a great match. After she gave me her two weeks notice (she's going to a new job) I decided to ask her out.
She accepted, but for the next two weeks we kept losing work on thursday and friday, so I'd never get a chance to talk to her to set up plans. She uses some random shitty cell phone company and she lives out in the middle of nowhere, so she doesn't get the best reception when she's at home.
Eventually after talking, i found out that she's Albanian and from a family that highly values their heritage. She's only dated Albanian guys before, and her parents are only okay with her dating Albanian guys... I'm not Albanian, and she's very close with her family. I eventually asked her if this would be a serious problem with her family, and she said yeah.
So I backed away and told her I was perfectly happy being friends. We still get along and talk all the time, but I can't shake the thought that we'd be a really solid couple.
It's a difficult situation. I don't want to cause tension in her family. I really don't know how to approach this, any advice would be fantastic.
TL;DR: | I'm into an Albanian girl and the feeling seems mutual, but her parents don't want her dating a non-Albanian guy |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Reddit, tell me i'm an idiot.
POST: I'm 21F, he's 24M. I found out that, for four months of our relationship, he was cheating on me with another girl-to the point of telling us both at the same time he loved us.
He broke it off with her. I stayed, because I'm an idiot. A while later, I found out from a friend that he kissed another girl. I ask him about her, "Who's Tina?" "I don't know." he replies. "I don't know anyone called Tina." According to Tina, she slept over at his house twice. He eventually breaks down and confeses that they kissed drunk, but says she never slept over. Frankly, I believe Tina. I stayed because I loved him too much to leave. He has been wonderful to me lately, supportive and loving and everything. But I just can't trust him.
So. Reddit, I want to leave. It's hard because I've never loved anyone as much as I loved him. He keeps saying he's sorry, he loves me- he even sold his precious guitar so he could have the money to stay in the city, with me. But it doesn't matter, the trust is gone. I just need to hear from you all that I'm right.
Once someone has done this (TWICE) he is a bad boyfriend and could never possibly be trusted to be faithful. Right? I have some people in my life telling me to stay. I just need to hear support that I need to get out.
TL;DR: | I'm having a hard time leaving someone who cheated. Some friends have advised me to stay. I want to hear if you all agree with me that if I stay, he will continue to cheat. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: (20/m) don't know what to do with this girl I like. (21F)
POST: This girl I really like awhile back told me she didn't want to date, we were just friends and i wasn't trying to let her know i like her, were both college student. but within the past month, she has started to act like she really likes, me and I want to ask her out but I don't want to weird the friendship if she says no. And people I know say the way we act with each other means were basically in an unofficial relationship. what do you guys suggest I do. Also, We have Decided that we are going to go get some coffee with a gift card i bought her for her birthday, Go out to eat, and next week go see the new hobbit movie. back in april she got out of a long distance relationship where she was going to school in new Zealand, and her boyfriend was in the states, the second month into the relationship he told her he loved her, and when she got back they should think about getting married, and she was 20 at the time and no where near that stage so she broke up with him. And on her birthday I bought her a single red rose along with a Coffee Gift card, and a birthday card which i wrote "I'm really blessed you in my life, Your really special to me. happy birthday" and she seemed really appreciative and then she said she wanted to treat me to coffee with the gift card. And to me A single red rose is like saying that I really like/love you. I could be wrong. But with her not totally rejecting the gift, and me giving her the flower and the birthday (she didn't know there was a gift card in the birthday card) she told me I got her the best gift. and She hasn't said that I don't want to date right now in about a month or so. We hug every day before we leave for home, and usually there really passionate hugs.
TL;DR: | Girl I like seems to like me, and dropping hints that she likes me, but about a month ago told me she wasn't ready to date. Don't know what to do. |
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU by going to Burger King after work
POST: I descided to treat myself a snack on my way home from work, so I went to the drive-through and got a Sweet Chilli Chicken Wrap meal with a coke. The next thing I do is park in the area and descide to eat my fries since im starving.
While im eating I place my coke on top of the car radio in the middle of the front section of the car(forgive me for not remembering the correct terms here). Everything is great and I finish the fries and move on to my chicken wrap. Now I tell myself I can eat this while im driving so I start the car and drive on while enjoying the great sweet chilli taste...
Disaster strikes at the first right-turn I take, since I forgot i placed my coke ontop of the radio, it falls down to the left and lands directly in my junk and icecubes and coke is everywhere. Meenwhile I apparently get a bit of a chock and squeezed the wrap I had in one of my hands so the bottom of the wrap bursts open and all of the contents just splashes down my chest creating a good mix with the coke in my lap.
I realised I just lost at life and just give up, driving on to the nearest parking space and pray that they had given me 100 napkins in the meal-bag. They hadn't .. and I was still hungy.
TL;DR: | Soaked myself in coke and sweet-chilli chiken wrap contents during a right-turn while driving - and they had forgotten to put napkins in the meal-bag. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My girlfriend [21F] and I [26M] are on a "break" after about seven months together. Is this just a intro to the real breakup?
POST: Mostly everything has been really great so far (we say I love you, very compatible, etc.).
I won't sugar coat it. There have been some strains on our relationship. One being I was going through a hard time awhile back and was probably pretty unpleasant to be around (although we seemed to have made it through that).
My girlfriend recently became my supervisor at work and we are no longer allowed to date under corporate policy. So we had officially broken up because of that. Coincidentally she starts going through some serious family issues shortly after this and says she needs some space. Now we've gone on a break.
I feel like a sucker reddit. Even her best friend thinks we've broken up. It seems like whatever story the bff has, is the correct one. I expressed this to her and added that she doesn't need to pretend for me, we can really break up if that's what she wants. She told me she wants to get back together after she gets her life sorted out and will not sleep with anyone else.
TL;DR: | Girlfriend and I are officially broken up for a legitimate reason. We are "actually" on a break. Unsure of what she actually wants. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: [26M] Have a chance to relocate to Europe with my company and an 85% pay raise (include COL increase) but my fiance [24F] won't be able to come until next December when she graduates from College.
POST: My company has been expanding globally this year, and I have a chance to get on board with our European operations team in the Netherlands. It would be a roughly 85% pay increase, and they arrange housing for the first month I am there. Work visa's and the like are all taken care of by my company. They also pay for 100% of the moving costs up to $10,000. So just about everything we can ship for free.
However, I asked my Fiance about it and she said she wouldn't be coming. She finishes her BA next December, and wouldn't be able to join me until then (except for school breaks). She wouldn't consider doing online classes to finish up. She also thinks her family will "disown" her for moving out of the country (they are kinda redneck).
I was a little hurt that she wouldn't come at first. Our wedding was tentatively set for next July, and we'd have to postpone it. We've had to postpone it for family reasons once before (family member passed away and it was too much for us to handle). But we talked and decided we could try to make a long distance relationship workout. We've done it before but only for 3 months when I was in China assisting there. This would be a full year.
We live in Hawaii, so the time difference is pretty huge. How can we make our long distance relationship work? We've been together for 6 years now, and I don't really want to leave her over this. I just don't know what to do.
TL;DR: | Have a chance for 85% pay raise and live in Europe, Fiance can't come until 1 year from now. We'd have to postpone wedding for a 2nd time. What should we do? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [28F] with FWB(?) [33M] 8 months, can't quite tell if we've become more than FWB, need help figuring it out.
POST: Okay, so, I met this guy on OKCupid last September. We chatted for a couple of weeks before deciding to meet. We then slept together on the first meeting. It was great, we enjoyed ourselves, we saw each other again and did the same.
Now, 8 months later, we've never actually come right out and said what this "relationship" is. Both of us had 'relationship' and 'dating' and 'casual sex' in our profiles so it's hard to get a hint from that. There are elements of our relationship which make me think it's turned into something romantic but then there are other bits that make me second guess that. I know that the obvious answer is to talk him about it but I also don't want to freak him out without good reason. Hence why I'd like some other opinions.
Evidence for:-
We hold hands when we're out and about.
We frequently text each other.
He's very complimentary to me.
We're both very affectionate (pet names, physical non-sexual affection).
He's adverse to cute things but went to a Hello Kitty themed cafe with me.
Evidence against:-
It's always me inviting him to come over, not once has he suggested we do something/get together.
7/10 meetings is just him coming to mine and sleeping together.
I've mentioned him to my friends and told him so, he's told me nothing of the sort.
He's super friendly and affectionate and goes out of his way for his friends in general.
Those are the main points I always get stuck on. I genuinely can't tell whether he's romantically into me or whether it's just the sex that sets me apart from all his regular friends. I'm super into him, I'd be happy if he asked me to be exclusive (I already am to him, don't know if he is with me) but, as I said, I don't want to chase him off if he does only see me as a friend and doesn't want a full on relationship. Outside opinions can only be helpful!
TL;DR: | FWB is both affectionate and attentive but I can't tell if it's because he likes me romantically or it's just his personality. |
SUBREDDIT: r/dogs
TITLE: Separation Anxiety in Rescued Dog, Previous Owner was Hoarder
POST: My girlfriend and I just rescued a dog that was an Owner Surrender due to dog hoarding (something like 9 dogs in one house) this weekend. He's super sweet, very quiet and loves being around us. However, since he spent 4 years in a small house with that many animals and people, he has a pretty big problem with separation anxiety. We tried crating him last night and he was fine, as long as we were in the same room. But, as soon as we left, he started barking like crazy and trying to undo the latches of his crate (he had barked once in the first 48 hours we had him and it was at a TV). We finally let him out and let him sleep in our room (he alternated between his bed and our bed).
My girlfriend and I both work 8-6 jobs, but I work a few minutes away, so I can take him at lunch to go the bathroom or walks. He's not very interested in toys and doesn't really chew anything, so a Kong or distraction toy won't really help him too much.
From what I've read so far, I've seen lots of:
* Don't make a big emotional thing about coming and going
* Practice leaving for a few minutes to get him comfortable about being alone. Extend the time you go as time goes on.
* If he has such a strong reaction to crating, don't use one, because it will only make it worse.
I was wondering if anybody had an advice on how to deal with this?
TL;DR: | Rescue dog spent 4 years in small house with 8 other dogs and now has a hard time being alone. Distraction toys not helpful. Advice? |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: PLEASE HELP! Bad Verizon employee + Q's on iPhone
POST: I just left the Verizon store...
Came in with questions about how I would go about getting an iPhone 4s (I'm ready for an upgrade) and got some troubling information.
1) Woman told me I can't get an iPhone because I'm on an old Altell plan. I would have to switch to new Verizon plan that would apparently cost thousands more first.
2) I finally get her to price a new Verizon Plan... Ends up costing about 5 extra dollars.
3) She explains why Apple/the iPhone are both the spawn of Satan along with horror stories about how 10 people have come in because their iPhones got too cold, and the screens shattered with the touch of a finger. (Said this wouldn't happen if everyone had Droids.)
4) I say I still want an iPhone. She tells me I can't even buy an iPhone without a $199 insurance plan along with the $199 for the phone.
5) I say I still might want to, she replies by saying I can't even switch my phone plan from altell to Verizon until March 2nd.
TL;DR: | Lady says cold iPhone screens shatter by touch, I can't even buy iPhone without $200 insurance plan (plus phone cost), and I can't even do it until I switch plans on March 2nd. |
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU by watching the South Park movie
POST: This happened years ago when I was in the 5th grade (I'm 26 now). In 5th grade at my school, you have one teacher for the whole day. This teacher teaches all the subjects. Everyone hated this particular teacher because she was this super mean elderly woman, who looked like she gave up on life and decided to make everyone else's hell as well.
Now to the fuck up. Well my parents were pretty lenient and let me watch the South Park movie. The next day we were in class and the teacher keeps calling on me, to answer questions, because I originally wasn't paying attention. Well this started to embarrass/piss me off. Finally she calls on me again, and here is what happened next:
Her: HandiesANDCandies88 what is the answer to the problem?
Me: Uhhh...I don't know
Her: Well, why don't you pay a little more attention.
Me: Well why don't you go suck some donkey balls.
Whole class just stared at me, their little developing brains trying to conceive what I just said.
After a second (felt like 10 minutes) of silence, she quickly took me to the principals office. My parents were called but not told the reason, just that I was in trouble.
When my parents arrived they saw me waiting, with my head hung low. In the principals office:
Principal: Alright, now HandiesANDCandies88 why don't you tell your parents what you said.
Me: I told Mrs. Stephenson....to...go suck donkey balls...
My dad then proceeds to bust out laughing, and is quickly silenced by my mother. I was suspended for 2 days. The funny part of the whole thing is that I was placed in the advanced (much harder) class because they didn't want me taking being with same teacher/same class. My grades actually improved a lot, and I scored higher on testing. I don't know if this is because I was challenged more, or because of a better teacher. I got a certificate and a talking to by the principal. He basically said that he was impressed that I was doing so well, and that he was proud.
TL;DR: | told my 5th grade teacher to suck donkey balls, suspended for 2 days and placed in advanced class, did better in advanced class, got certificate for doing so well |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [28M] with my girlfriend [26F] of 6 years, I'm considering changing career paths.
POST: Hello everyone!
I met my girlfriend about six years ago whilst I was enrolled into police training, yes I'm a cop. Our relationship has been great up until her father passed away about 3 years ago but I have been trying to support her the best I can.
**The problem**
About 6 months ago I was shot 2 times in my abdomen during a call and the doctor said I was lucky to be alive but I'm alive and well and have gotten back on duty a month ago. It's a part of the job so I've accepted it but my girlfriend hasn't. I have noticed recently that she is much more clingy and emotional than ever and while I appreciate her caring for me it's gotten to the point she wants me to take off days and she tries to stall time and keep me home. Every morning before I leave is so emotionally draining because I love her so much and I don't want her to be worried all the time.
I love my job and not to sound too cliche I would totally do it for free and I've been working towards it ever since I was in high school but as much as I love this job I also love my girlfriend, so I have considered another career field. I've thought about other things I can do and how I would go about it and I'm very confident that I can pull it off. One thing I should get out of the way is that I have already spoken to the higher ups at my division and while there are "not on the field" jobs, there isn't any I can qualify for at this time.
I don't know what to do nor if I should do anything, my minds just all over the place.
TL;DR: | Was shot 6 months ago on the job but my relationship with my gf is rocky, I'm considering changing career fields. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [15 M] with my Close-Friend [15 F] Anything possibly to win her back?
POST: So, my friend and I have been dating for about four weeks now and we
were going strong. We are also somewhat close neighbors and have had
some deep talks. We did the usual couple thing, I suppose, and we
watched a movie or two and cuddled once or twice. She kissed me just a few days ago and I really thought at that moment we could have had something great going.
But now I'm moving across town on complete opposite sides. It's not even a half hour trip from one side to the other. She says she can't take another long-distance relationship, she has been with another guy, but I'll be driving pretty soon and she's already dating a friend of mine, who is not the most respectful man you'll meet.
Is their anything I could do or say to win her back or is it just not going to work?
TL;DR: | We are breaking up because I'm moving across town but I'll be able to drive soon. Any help? It was a pretty serious relationship. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I (21m) have loved nothing but her (20f) for 5 years, but she needs me as a friend. How do I handle this in the best way to make her happy?
POST: I originally typed up a very long explanation of the 5 years leading up to this, but I re-read it and realized it was pretty much a rant. So here is a very brief description of the situation:
I have been in love with my best friend for 5 years. 2 years ago, I told her I had feelings for her and she politely explained that she didn't feel the same way. I accepted this on a conscious level, knowing that I am privileged just to be near her in any way. But on a subconscious level, my feelings keep getting stronger. We never spoke of that exchange again, and she just moved on like nothing had happened. Whether she has chosen to ignore it, or if she truly believes it was temporary, it has never been brought up or alluded to since.
I can't stop dreaming about her. I wake up every morning having to deal with "breaking up" with her, because every night I have dreams about just holding her hand, or cuddling with her. Returning to reality is painful. I think about her nonstop, and can't accept any girl who isn't her.
I am her oldest and most loyal friend. We have always been there for each other, no matter what. She gets herself into awful relationships against my (admittedly biased) opinions, and she needs somebody there to help her back to her feet when the guys ultimately let her down. She needs me, and our friendship, just the way it is.
I love her, with every last nerve in my body. Every moment I spend next to her is a private hell. I just want her so much, but she needs me as just a friend. And I'm glad to be that for her, becuase I love her enough to honestly just wants what's best for her. But that's where my problem is: is it better to bury my feelings and maintain our friendship, or to be honest and destroy it?
TL;DR: | I'm in love with a friend who needs me as a friend. Is it better for her if I keep my feelings buried or ruin the friendship? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My [29F] friend/coworker [30M] is boring but I don't want to make him feel bad for not wanting to hang out all the time.
POST: Hi all, I have a coworker ("James") that I've become friends with over the past 10 months or so. He's a nice guy, but the problem is that he is... just a little boring. He doesn't have any interests, doesn't care much for pop culture (so no bonding over music, TV shows, or movies), and rarely shows any enthusiasm for anything. Because of this and his social awkwardness, James usually doesn't have much to contribute in conversations.
I was new to the city so we hung out a bit, but now I've gotten to the point where it's draining to be with him. Going to an amazing restaurant elicits a "I guess that was okay". We went to a Red Hot Chili Peppers concert (because I am a big fan and he said he wanted to try something new), and he sat down with his phone for most of the time, looking tragically bored. We went to a club once and he stood in the corner. I've tried to introduce him to new things and I am met with indifference.
More recently, I became friends with a group of other coworkers. However, now James expects to join every time we all go out. The others have also noted how he brings the group morale down, and some go as far as to describe his blandness as annoying. How do I let him down easy? I am struggling to handle this from both a friend point of view as well as a professional one.
TL;DR: | Boring friend/coworker wants to hang out with our group of friends but is a party pooper, what to do? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My Brother's Girlfriend [29M][37F] is pregnant with his child. She is still smoking with no intention of stopping. Do I [30M] owe it to this child to involve myself in this? Is it none of my damn business?
POST: So I haven't known Jen (not her real name) for very long, nor has my brother, but they are having a child together and just found out she was pregnant a few weeks ago. She has several children from previous relationships. She has pre-emptively expressed contrition for smoking to me (she asked to stop for cigarettes when we were driving somewhere), so I feel like she is prepared to receive and rebute any quit smoking campaigns. She plans to cut back from her 1-2 packs a day but it doesn't seem like she intends to fully stop. She is concerned that quitting cold turkey is bad for the baby as well..which I don't buy. She has told me that she smoked for most, if not all of her other pregnancies and she said they turned out fine. I suppose this is her justification.
This is a precarious situation for me because we do not know each other very well, and I cannot see a situation where I express my adamant concern for the child's well being without insulting her or her character. Perhaps that's just the way it has to be. Ruining a budding relationship between me and my brother's girlfriend could potentially affect my relationship with him. I fear that he may trust her judgement and not have a problem with her smoking.
I feel like I owe it to this child to speak up and do something, but what is that something? To what degree of vigilance do I approach this situation? Is it even any of my business at all? Should I just not say anything? Any advice or past experience would be appreciated...or links because all I can find is "reasons not to smoke while pregnant, as opposed to "how to tell a pregnant girl to stop smoking"
_____________________________________
TL;DR: | Bro's new girlfriend is pregnant. Bro's new girlfriend smokes a pack a day. What should I do? Is it even my business? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [17M] with girl I met on tinder [17F] am I moving to fast? Not sure how to proceed
POST: So I matched with this girl on tinder, long story short we flirted & she gave me her Snapchat, we've been sexting almost every night and she said she's attracted to me, onto some issues..
We don't talk much when were not sexting other than what's up, how's school etc, so when we do bid chat at night and try to talk I find it awkward because I don't know her that well at all.
Also she lives about 2 hours away so planning to meet up is a little difficult.
Also she acknowledges that to know if she really likes me enough to date etc, we would have to hang out, i've already told her I can hang out any day I just need a heads up first, but she doesn't seem to actually want to plan anything
So reddit, I feel stuck, I wanna meet up to see where things go, but she doesn't feel the same "urgency" idk what I should do (we've only been talking 2 weeks btw, but talking everyday, not sure if I expect to much or moving to fast)
TL;DR: | been talking to girl 2 hours away every day for 2 weeks, I want to meet up, feel like she is hesitant, what to do? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [20M] with my college friend [19F] of one year is becoming EXTREMELY clingy and draining my social life.
POST: My freshman year I met my friend "Erin" after we collaborated on a lot of projects together in school. We are both in the same major and there are only about 28 people in the major, so we see each student frequently and share almost every class with them.
At first, I liked Erin. She was a bit weird, but funny, and we worked well together on projects. But the more time went on, the more she would hang out with me, sit next to me in every class, and talk my ear off. She doesn't really know when to stop talking.
Now people in school see us as a "pair" (not a romantic couple, but like a friend duo) and that makes me really uncomfortable. I want to hang out with other people in my major, but if we're at a party, for example, she'll stick by my side all night. It's just awkward. Am I being a jerk here? I just want help in distancing myself from her so I have room to hang out with other people, but I need to do it gently. Any ideas?
TL;DR: | Want to distance myself from my clingy college friend, but I don't know how to do it without being a jerk. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [21 M] with my girlfriend [19 M/F] of 1 month, she is far more experienced than me sexually and it scares me, makes me anxious etc etc
POST: So we have been dating a month now and sex came fairly fast in our relationship, I think week two? Anyways, I'm not here to state my stance on sex early in a relationship, I enjoyed it and she did as well. Nor is this post at all about my love for her.
I just feel very very overwhelmed and intimidated by her history sexually. She has had many sexual encounters and is very experienced while I sit here finally not a virgin.
Is it odd for me to feel like this? I love her just the same regardless but I just feel anxiety towards this issue and am wondering how others have dealt with it in their past or current relationships.
Thanks :)
TL;DR: | Girlfriend is far more experienced than me sexually and it makes me anxious and intimidated, how do I deal with it? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: I don't know what to say anymore. I try to tell you how to love me, then you say I'm overthinking.
POST: So basically, I've been dating this guy for a few months now, and things have been slow. He has physical problems getting too intimate, and I respect that. He doesn't like to have sex often, and I am coming around to respect his body and his wishes.
He still shows me he cares a lot about me, but it's not often. I know he talks about me to all his friends, and he always wants to see me, but there is something wrong.
Yesterday, I did it all for him. I drove him to and from work, took him shopping, bought him new pillows, dropped his off at home so he could nap, bought his dog new treats, cleaned his kitchen (his house), made him dinner, brought it to his bed, he asked for drinks, I brought him drinks, he asked to help him put up the tree, I did everything, he wanted to watch a movie, we put on Pocahontas and he fell asleep, then when we went to bed, he just gave me a quick kiss on the lips and rolled over.
Today, I told him that I need more gratitude, and although I know he means well, I just think showing a little bit of gratitude with deep kisses, or looking into my eyes saying thank you, goes a long way. Then he tells me that I'm over-analyzing everything.
I don't know what to do anymore. This isn't the first time I've mentioned something to him, and he is always belittling my emotions. I thought I've matured through all my relationships, but it seems I just keep dating immature guys.
TL;DR: | Every time I tell my boyfriend a concern or something I'd like to happen to show me he loves me, he acts like it's such a big deal, even though I do the same for him. |
SUBREDDIT: r/personalfinance
TITLE: Which company to choose for wealth management?
POST: My dad, not from U.S., wants to send me some money to invest in my name as his piggy bank. We are not talking a huge amount of money for U.S. but something more significant for back home - a couple hundred thousand.
I have never invested in my life and do not understand finance whatsoever. I started reading up on wealth management and my head is totally spinning. In wiki you suggest for a person to handle it on their own but I don't think I'm comfortable investing. I really know nothing about it and it is really not my strength so I don't think I can learn it or bet my dad's retirement on my skills.
I have appointments at Chase, Fidelity, and Citibank. Is it very bad to go with one of those or even some other company? Will I get screwed over? How do I do it best?
TL;DR: | need to invest moderate amount; have no experience or aptitude to learning finance; what are my options and how not get screwed over? |
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU by staying up too late
POST: This happened yesterday. I went to bed at around 1.30 AM, got my phone and tried to watch some YouTube videos on it to try to get some sleep since I generally have trouble sleeping and because school was about to start again the next day, that didn't help me sleep either. After like half an hour, I couldn't fall sleep. At this point, I should mention the room I was staying in was downstairs, because the house layout is kinda weird, but there are two rooms in the downstairsy part. Since I still live with my parents they have the AC running all the time, and it was already set to pretty high and I didn't feel like getting up to get the remote to change that so I just asked the parents to leave the doors open instead when they went to sleep. Then all the sudden I hear noises from the room that's literally right next to the one I was staying in. Of course, out of ALL THE DAYS EVER, my parents decide it would be a good idea to have sex at like 2.30 in the morning at this point. Holy shit, was that most awkward thing to hear, and at this point I couldn't get out of bed to close the door because it would make a creaking noise and they'd know I'm not asleep. SO.. After about 15 minutes I get saved by the neighbor's dog that literally barked right next to the bedroom's window. And then they stayed up until like 6 AM till they had to go to work, so I naturally couldn't sleep either and fucked up by first day back at school. Sigh.. Fucking hell.
TL;DR: | Heard my parents having sex because they thought I had been asleep. Got saved by the dog. Too late, though. |
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU - by taking my straight friend to the gay club.
POST: Let me start by saying this person (We can call him Ed) is absolutely accepting of gay people. Loves me and my boyfriend, is loyal to us, protective when people get rude..well last night..or tonight? Since technically I haven't slept yet, so whatever still today, anyway took one of my best friends (call her Lynn) to the gay club, so Ed Lynn & myself got a little *too* tipsy before we left. FU number one. Lynn apparently forgot to warn Ed that we were taking him to a very crowded and rowdy gay bar. FU #2 right there..so now he's kinda got the "it's whatever" attitude. - I'm thinking, perfect, he'll be chill...nope. After 2 drinks, I had to apologize to a mid-surgery process transgender, he screamed "DAMN, is that fuckin dude?! Tell me that ain't a fuckin dude bro." I'm now **beat** red. Lynn tells him to shut up. Then he proceeded to point (literally) point out 15 different people and loudly ask if I thought they were gay. There goes 8 more apologies and most of my buzz. Lesson learned, only take your **girls** to the gay club, or control your friends alcohol consumption.
TL;DR: | took my straight friend to a gay bar. He was obnoxious, spent half my night apologizing to various people for him being an idiot and an asshole. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [26 F] with my (semi long-distance) girlfriend [25 F] 1year in her city and she doesn't want to see me. Who is being selfish?
POST: My gf and I live a couple hours apart. We visit each other most weekends, but this weekend she was out of town on a business trip. I ended up in her town anyway to see other friends. We were chatting and she mentioned she was on her way home and I suggested I stay over tonight at her place so we'd get to see each other. She replied that, no, she was wiped out from her trip and just wanted to be alone tonight. I'm hurt and feel rejected because we see so little of each other and I was excited at the chance to spend time with her.
TL;DR: | gf didn't want me to see her when I was in her town even though we don't get to spend much time together |
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: Tifu by thinking I got rid of a cranefly.
POST: Hey Reddit been lurking for a while, but now I have decided to post a fuckup that happened to me my junior year of highschool (I am a freshman in college now).
So during one school morning, I wake up bright and early to get ready. I start my usual routine by using the bathroom and then taking a quick shower, before throwing on some clothes. When I went into my bathroom and looked into my toilet, I noticed something was slightly different about it. There was a big ass cranefly( they look like giant freaking mosquitos) just chilling in my toilet like it was a hottub.
I wasn't about to let this bastard mess up my morning routine, so I quickly devised a plan. I went downstairs and grabbed a cup and filled it up with water. Then I quickly went back upstairs back into my bathroom, where I dumped the water on top of the cranefly before shutting the toilet lid and then flushing it.
After waiting a few minutes I open the lid, and to my satisfaction the cranefly was gone (or so I thought). As I sit on the toilet and get ready to let loose, I feel spindly legs latch right on to my butt. Turns out Mr. Cranefly wasn't gone ( I still don't know how it managed to hide from my view) and it wasn't to happy with the suddenly intrusion of my butt upon its new home.
I did what any normal person would do in my situation, I launched myself directly off my toilet seat and screamed liked a little girl. I know people say craneflies are harmless, but i swear the one in my bathroom had a taste for human flesh because it was constantly trying to land on me as I swatted at it. Eventually I toss myself in the shower with the cranefly in hot pursuit, and I turn on the water(it was freezing). To my relief the shower water managed to catch it, and I watched the beast slowly slide down the drain. I was then startled by my hysterical mom who was banging on my bathroom door because she thought I had a seizure.
I hate craneflies now.
TL;DR: | thought I got rid of cranefly, did not get rid of cranefly, attacked by cranefly. Mom bangs on bathroom door thinking I had seizure |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [21 M] thinking about asking out my friend's sister [19F], not sure best way to approach this situation.
POST: Throw away account and all that jazz.
So I am thinking about asking my friend's sister on a date. I believe there is a mutual attraction between us. I haven't seen her in a while but after ending my previous relationship I can't seem to get her out of my mind.
So before I go on I just want to say I have a genuine interest to date this girl. Only doubts I have is that she is in a group of friends and we all hang out. Usually a group that all meets up at house parties and gets along really easily. We aren't a crazy rowdy bunch but just a good group of friends. I guess I feel slightly worried that breaking up with her could throw a wrench in the whole friend situation. Since the group is a great group to chill with. That being said I am a pretty civil person and have no problems with my exes I don't really hold bitter feelings towards negative events in my past. There is really only a few select people I can not get along with because they have really destroyed their chance with me.
Besides possibly making hanging with my friends awkward I'm not sure if I should approach my buddy first to ask him if he would mind me dating his sister. Anyone ever been in this situation before? How did it work out for you?
TL;DR: | Not sure how approach asking my friends sister on a date and if its a bad idea since we are in the same casual group of good friends. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: Me [17/M] and my girlfriend [16/F] have nothing to talk about.
POST: My girlfriend, who I have been with for about 9 months now, has a very limited list of occupations. She doesn't play video games, she has limited music taste (she only listens to like 40-50 different songs), she doesn't go out often, she rarely reads, she watches a few cartoons, she writes personal stuff (poems, songs, etc.) and she occasionally draws. But in general she has almost nothing to do every day. She usually goes to sleep around 7 PM as a result.
I, on the other hand, have very broad music taste, I play a lot of video games, I'm an aspiring musician who is learning how to play guitar, I watch a lot of TV shows, I keep up with news, I try to go out with some of my friends often, and I try to talk to people a lot.
The problem is, we have nothing to talk about. She doesn't care for the video games I play or the shows I watch, or playing guitar or the music I listen to, and her occupations are so limited that I've already kinda heard most of what she has to talk about.
She's told me a few times to just go ahead and talk to her about my video games and stuff like I would with other friends, but I know for a fact she thinks video games are stupid and doesn't care to hear me talk about them. I'm looking for stuff that both of us can talk about.
I struggle so hard to keep up conversations with her every day and it usually leads to me just saying random stuff in an attempt to be funny and keep our conversations going, but I really need some advice.
What would be some good conversation topics or ways to keep our conversations going?
TL;DR: | me and my girlfriend have all but run out of conversation topics and I need ways to talk to her or things to talk to her about |
SUBREDDIT: r/legaladvice
TITLE: Fighting a Speeding Ticket: Do I Mention Radar Detector?
POST: Massachusetts State Police:
I got ticketed for going 55 in a 35 and my court date is coming up. I've been clean for my whole 8+ year driving career half of which I have had a radar detector that has saved my ass from getting pulled over SO MANY TIMES (seriously it's great to have, not just for speeding but for knowing when a cop is around and driving very, very deliberately).
Anyways, when I got pulled over I went through a speedtrap but my detector never went off. This has happened before where I've driven past a cop while speeding [because it was silent] but I never got pulled over because obviously he had no proof. **My ticket says "Lidar and Estimation"** as the way they detected but I had an active Lidar detector in the car and it never went off!!
Should I mention this when I am defending myself or will this merely prove to them that I am a habitual speeder who probably deserves a ticket even if this one has a lie on it?
TL;DR: | My radar detector didn't go off when I got pulled over and the cop said he used radar to clock my speed. Should I say I used one?* |
SUBREDDIT: r/travel
TITLE: Seeing the Grand Canyon... from the UK. Any suggestions welcome.
POST: My mother has a lifelong dream of seeing the Grand Canyon. She's in her Seventies now and, if I'm brutally honest, getting a little bit frail. ~~And cantankerous.~~
I'd like to organise a trip wherein we manage to visit the Grand Canyon, but I have a few (awkward) caveats:
* We don't want to stay in Las Vegas.
* I'm not a fan of Los Angeles *either*.
* She doesn't want to do a Colorado River tour.
* Camping is off the menu.
* Neither of us like tour groups.
* I don't really want to fly-drive.
Yeah. Like I say, awkward.
If anyone has *any* ideas for how we can make this happen, I'm all ears. I'd rather not fly-drive because I dislike spending my *holiday* time driving a bloody car (that and I, ah, am a little heavy on the gas pedal, and don't want to get arrested). I am however aware that there's piss-all else to do but visit national parks or go to Vegas, so if I have to drive all the way over to Texas to have a remainder of a holiday it isn't necessarily off the cards.
TL;DR: | Is a fly-drive my only serious option for seeing the Grand Canyon as a UK visitor, given the above restrictions? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: I want to leave my girlfriend but she recently self-inflicted again, what should i do?
POST: My girlfriend of a year and a half has a history of cutting and relapsed today. This time she burned herself with a lighter and tried to hide it from me. I asked her about the marks on her arm and she got really defensive. I pressured her more and she ended up showing me that she had burned herself with a lighter. She refused to tell me why she did it, and this being the third time shes done it being with me, i just left. i know that probably wasn't the best thing to do but i'm honestly fed up with her doing this stuff and me having to deal with it and her going to counseling etc. it just makes more drama that i really don't want to deal with. I hate having to worry whether or not shes going to end up dead on a daily basis. She said she was better and wouldn't do it again after each episode, but she would relapse so i don't even believe her any more.
So this time i went right over her head and told her parents as soon as i found out. She's going to her therapist again and they're keeping an eye on her for the next few days. But this is where my dilemma is.
I want to leave her because i'm just tired of her and the problems she's constantly causing. Not to mention the fact that the relationship has kinda just "run its course". I wanted to leave now so i don't have to deal with her and her relapsing but at the same time i don't want to be too harsh and make things worse for her. On the other hand i don't want to stay in a relationship that i'm going to hate and not even care about because i respect her too much to do that. What should i do?
TL;DR: | I want to leave my girlfriend who cuts herself but don't want her to end up killing her self-inflict more. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [29 F] my boyfriend [26 M] of two months, are already having communication problems.
POST: First of all, I have very little experience with relationships. My previous longest relationship was only 6 weeks.
So I have been seeing this guy for 2 months and I really like him. Things were going well up until yesterday. I was meeting one of my female friends for drinks and she had mentioned that she was also inviting a guy she had met online. The guy was entertaining a friend from out of town and would only come if he could bring his friend. So my friend needed a wing-woman.
In the spirit of full disclosure to my boyfriend, I asked him if he would be offended if I went to drinks with my friend and we ended up meeting up her online interest. I just wanted to have a discussion. If it was a problem I would have tried to get another one of our friends to wing for my friend.
My boyfriend did not take to this question very well. He basically shut down communication, stating that he did not have the energy to discuss this. I told him to contact me when he had more energy. We haven't communicated since.
Was I wrong to ask him in the first place?
I really hate the fact that he shut down communcation. Is this a bad sign of things to come? Should I end things before we get much deeper?
I just don't know how hard to try in this relationship.
TL;DR: | Tried to be open with bf and it seemed to really offend him, and he shut down communication. Did I screw up? or is this just a bad sign of things to come? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My wife(33f) contradicted my parenting decision when my child(4m) was misbehaving. Is this as serious an issue as it feels to me?
POST: (33m) I'm incredibly angry about her casual override of my decision. My 4-year old was not listening or cooperating in the store, and I told her "he can not go into the next store, there has to be a line drawn" But, she took him in anyway. She is the dominant parent, but to me this feels like a very serious issue. She has passive-aggressive tendencies as well, and tends to disagree with me about parenting decisions in front of the children. It feels dysfunctional and I believe the children are being harmed seeing her casually put aside my parenting techniques. I also feel like I have to run everything by her or else she will find something to disagree with or critique. I am fed up. Should we seek couple's therapy? Has it helped any couples in similar situations?
TL;DR: | my wife treats me like a child. We've had discussions & fights about it, she's not changing. Should we seek couple's therapy? Has it helped any couples in similar situations? |
SUBREDDIT: r/dating_advice
TITLE: I (21f) am seeing my longtime crush (21m) for the first time in months next weekend. Should I make a move? (x-post from /r/relationships)
POST: Posted in /r/relationships and was told it belonged here. Here's my story:
So basically my crush has been a close friend of mine for years. Wev'e known each other since grade school (I'm pretty sure I was his first kiss in 6th grade). I had a boyfriend for 4 years throughout high school and then after we graduated my friend moved to Boston for school, so there's never really been time for a relationship to develop organically. Since he's moved we have kept in touch, visiting whenever one of us is in the other's area. Each time I hangout with him I realize more and more how much I truly like him. I go on dates with other people, but I always have him in the back of my mind.
Next weekend were going to a Dispatch concert and I want to know if I should make a move? If so, how do I? Im not a shy person at all but when it comes to making a move I get super nervous. I don't want to ruin our friendship so is it better to just let it go?
TL;DR: | I've had a crush on one of my close friends for years, am seeing him this weekend and want to know if I should finally make a move. |
SUBREDDIT: r/Parenting
TITLE: Helping mom find ways of falling back to sleep after getting up to nurse 6 month old in the middle of the night.
POST: So to expand on the title we have a 6 month old whose been pretty up and down with the night feedings. Started waking once a night to feed, then twice, then once again, then 3 times, now she's been waking pretty solid twice a night. Can't complain really, but we started seeing a sleep consultant to get more consistency and fix some troubles with naps.
Now here is where the problems come in. In the little one's 11-12 hour overnight period mom gets to bed about an hour later, and I follow suit so as not to disturb her by crawling into bed after she's fallen asleep. Mom falls asleep pretty quick as she's usually pretty exhausted. When she gets up for the first feeding she can have some trouble getting back to sleep, sometimes lots of trouble. After the second feeding she might not sleep at all again. Once I'm already up I take the little one for playtime after her morning feeding (if I'm not working that day) and mom crawls back to into bed and tries to make up for what she lost.
In that whole overnight period that the little one sleeps my wife might get anywhere from 3 to 7 hours sleep. She's the kind of person that before we had a baby would sleep 9 hours regularly and if she got less than 8 hours was a bit of a wreck. So for this to be going on for the last while its worn her down. Any suggestions on how to help her fall back to sleep? I've tried giving her some melatonin (3mg) supplements but it's pretty hit or miss. What else can we try?
TL;DR: | How can I help mom fall back to sleep after getting up multiple times to nurse a baby in the middle of the night? |
SUBREDDIT: r/dating_advice
TITLE: I need help getting a [19/F]'s attention. She is now very popular and busy, but I've[18/m] had strong feelings for her for years.
POST: We were very close throughout high school as she came from Russia and I was a new student from outside the country. She is very sweet, is friendly with everyone, and I'd say is pure of heart.
Our senior year of high school we split.. She was taken in by the rich/popular crowd because of how beautiful she was. Her personality is the same, but now is very difficult to get in contact with.
She paid me a visit at my house after nearly a year of not spending time together, and it rekindled some old feelings that I never expressed to her. How can I get her attention to be able to ask her out? She often suggests that we should hang out and we begin to make plans only for her to reply a few days later apologizing and saying we should reschedule immediately. It's a vicious cycle where nothing ever gets done. I really, really like this girl; dare I say love.
TL;DR: | Rekindled old feelings and need to get attention of a girl who's near-impossible to get in contact with. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: How do I [22 F] deal with shitty friends [22 F]?
POST: Hi everybody!
At the moment I'm living in my hometown, I do not plan on living here for long, 1 year tops. Here is my problem though, the friends I have here in this town fucking sucks sometimes. I've had great friends before that kinda scatterd across the world, but we always had great bullshit conversation, great deep conversation and a ton of fun.
But the friends I have now, jebus christ. The conversation is alwas extremly shallow, talking behind a persons back, talking about the kardashians, talking about pillows (!!!), talking way to much about the problems they have with the boyfriends and babies that they want to have with the boyfriends they are having a war with. They always interrupt eachother and talks over eachothers conversation, so you never even know who to listen to, and if you get eyecontact with someone you are now being taken as a conversation-hostage. And as icing on the cake, they are one-upping all the time. ALL. THE. TIME.
The thing is tho, I have to be friends with them. I don't have any other friends in this town and I don't want to be stuck at home lonely in my room. I work with middleaged people too, and they are great but I can't exactly invite them over for netflix and wine. So I have to deal with them, but how do I do that? I have tried talking to them, but hell broke loose (they don't take criticism of any type great, even if I carefully change the way I speak) and they don't ever forget. I'm kinda left with the duck and roll (say yes and smile, but rolling your eyes inside your head), but I don't deal with the frustration very well. I need to learn not to care about having a good conversation with the people I'm with. And I need to not care if they try to one-upp me, or stop trying to defend myself all the time. But how do I manage that? How do you deal with shitty people?
TL;DR: | Friends suck, I'm left feeling frustrated and agitated but I don't have any other friends at this time. How do I deal with this? Halp. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: My boyfriend isn't a person in the eyes of Virginia, how does he get a job?
POST: Long story short, his I.D. was taken away by ASAP (he got 2 underage possession of alcohol charges, the first was his fault, the second was not.) His mom lost his birth certificate and his social security card. In order to get an I.D., a birth certificate, or a social security card, he needs one of the three. I don't know what to do anymore, I feel helpless. He's homeless at this point because his mom's a bat shit crazy alcoholic, and his dad is a worthless piece of shit that doesn't give a damn about him. We've been dating for a year and some change and I've never witnessed such a great person having such fucking terrible luck. Does anyone know what to do at this point? It's impossible for him to get a job now. He's 20 by the way.
TL;DR: | BF is homeless, no I.D., no birth certificate, no social security card, no car, no job. What do? |
SUBREDDIT: r/jobs
TITLE: Been out of work for three years and stuck with my CV/resume.
POST: Three years ago I was in university and was one year off finishing my Masters in Linguistics. I got sick, ended up in and out of hospital for a year and spent the next year recovering. I've spent the last year looking for jobs as I am desperate to get back to work.
I have not mentioned my partial degree on my resume as I see it as a weakness, at the moment I can't afford to go back and finish it. Should it be on there and if so how do I put it? At the moment there is only a big gap and retail work.
I have been told on two occasions that I'd be good for the role but that they 'can't afford someone who might be off sick'. I wouldn't be applying for work if I wasn't well enough to do it, but I have to explain the gap and mention the illness. I also use a chair or crutches so it's pretty obvious. I am only applying for entry level jobs, retail and so on, should I be applying for other positions or do I have zero chance? Getting really burned out here and would very much appreciate any help.
TL;DR: | Should I put my partial degree on a resume, how do I convince employers I'm fit to work, and what level jobs should I be applying for. Many thanks. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: 29[m] sarcastically responded to fundamentalist family's outrageously simple-minded Facebook post re abortion, causing conflict with parent 56m], been eating at me since.
POST: They're anti-abortion activists and fundamentalist Christians. I'm an atheist, 10+ years now. We generally get along by avoiding politics and religion. Lately, they've been spamming Facebook with articles about the planned parenthood videos.
I generally ignore Facebook, but then my wife [27f] mentioned that my sibling [30f] posted a particularly egregious article that essentially said that anyone who supports planned parenthood is a Nazi. So, this baited me into making a few sarcastic responses (my point being that anti-abortion people regularly judge someone's worth based on how close they were to the anti-abortion platform), which in turn caused my father [55m] to chime in with angry references to slavery, Nazis, human dignity, etc, and a reprimand that family should have loving and interesting discussions. I didn't respond.
It's just been eating at me in the month since. I haven't apologized for using sarcasm. I'm not exactly sure what I want to do going forward. I get angry when I think about it; I don't think that 'discussion' was loving or interesting before my entrance. It's distracting me while I'm at work, I'd like it resolved. Do I write a letter? Do I apologize? Do nothing? How have other people handled situations like this?
TL;DR: | sarcastically responded to fundamentalist family's outrageously simple-minded Facebook post, causing conflict with parent, been eating at me since. |
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU By crossing the Canadian National Rail Police.
POST: I live in a big town in Nova Scotia where there are train tracks running **everywhere**. There are two sets of tracks right by my house that are notorious for being crossed by trains during the morning and afternoon rush hours, one of those tracks crosses a small river, and as such there is a small bridge to hold the tracks up. A lot of people who live around my part of town use that bridge as a shortcut to get downtown a bit quicker, and there's even a gravel bike trail that requires crossing the bridge to follow.
I've been taking that bridge for years without anyone telling me otherwise, but today when I crossed it there was a CN Police car parked on the other side that basically pulled me over. The guy told me to get off of CN property and took down my information (That's right, no warning.) Keep in mind that there are no physical barriers (EG. Fences) in place to divide the railroad and the rest of the town, and there is also no signage signifying where CN property begins, or that you are trespassing.
TL;DR: | Today I Learned that the Canadian National Rail has it's own police force, with the same rights of arrest as the provincial and federal police, and hates your free-roaming guts. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I (25/F) need advice. How do you know when you're ready to start dating after a devastating breakup?
POST: I hope I make sense.
I was in a long term, very serious, 6 year relationship. It ended in November 2013, and I am still having issues.
To numb the pain, I put myself on a dating site. I was excited. New guys, New interests, NEW everything. I had "fun" dating around for a while, but I got hurt over and over again. I developed strong feelings for a FWB (with this sub's help, I broke it off), got the "it isn't you, it's me" speech, etc. It hasn't been fun.
I think I am so focused on falling in love again, that I have lost myself. I don't want to be alone, but I know that I don't need to be in a relationship. I feel like I am addicted to finding someone else. It's been a year since my breakup. I should be over it, right? I should have moved on already.
TL;DR: | For those who had LTRs, when did you know that it was ok to date again? Did you instantly go back out there to numb the pain, or did you wait a while? |
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU By beating my girlfriend in my sleep.
POST: This story actually happened about 10 years ago when I was in college still. I had been dating this girl for a year or two and she would regularly spend the night at my place to cut down on her commute. (she lives 30min from campus)
Anyways, I don't remember what time in the morning it was but I wake up to her crying hysterically and screaming. Apparently I was punching her hard multiple times in my sleep. I immediately started laughing while trying to console her. You may think that is cold blooded however that night I had been dreaming that I was Neo from the second or third Matrix movie when he is surrounded by Agents and is fighting them off. Only in my dream the agents were ninjas.
She didn't speak to me for a few days after that and it never happened again.
TL;DR: | Dreamed about Ninjas surrounding me and fighting them off. Woke up to girlfriend crying/screaming after punching her repeatedly in my sleep. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: [18/f] w/ disorders needs help friendzoning
POST: I have quite a few mental disorders, bulimia, depression, anxiety and others. i self harm and this guy i talk to knows about all of them aside from the bulimia. He has recently developed something that causes him to have depression for a few weeks every few months. He talks to me about it a lot because i want to help and i understand but it triggers me sometimes.
We have been to the cinema a few times with each other before he started to get these episodes and i know he wants to date me really badly even though the feeling is most certainly not mutual. I've also heard weird things about him from a while back, he's posted stones through his friends letterboxes if they're late for anything with him and hosed people windows etc.
I get really uncomfortable when he hints that he wants to see me and we only text even though he trusts me a lot. I'm not really one for being blunt when it comes to hurting someone's feelings so i haven't said anything to him but i need to somehow sever whatever it is i have with him bearing in mind he sort of has depression. Help?
TL;DR: | i have issues, so does he. don't want to hurt his feelings but need to make him stop talking to me. |
SUBREDDIT: r/needadvice
TITLE: what to do about not hearing from this UMA CS REU program! :O
POST: Hi reddit,
I'm a computer science student and I'm very much interested in computer science research. At the end of this semester I'll be a 1 and a half into my schooling.
So here is my issue: I applied to the CS REU program at UMass Amherst. They have on their website that they begin accepting students March 11th and that all students (Rejected or accepted) should hear from them by April 8th. It's now April 15th and I have yet to hear from them. I tried emailing the manager listed on the REU website on wednesday but I have yet to hear back.
Does anyone have experience with this REU or maybe even the UMA CS REU program? Do you think I should try calling the project manager tomorrow or tuesday? (Note with this: The number I found for a contact was on the information for the NSF grant they received)
It seems worth it to try to contact her.
TL;DR: | Applied to UMA CS REU, did not hear back by listed date on website, email last wednesday got no response, should I call them or not? |
SUBREDDIT: r/legaladvice
TITLE: Need Advice on What my Landlord Can Prevent Me From Doing With Regards to Smoking in, on, and Around the Property.
POST: I don't need legal advice so much as I would simply like to know what my options are in the following situation:
I live in Canada. I rent a basement apartment from my landlord. Other tenants live upstairs and have complained of the smell of tobacco smoke and marijuana smoke. We smoke outside on the property.
This is where it gets a little fucked up. One tenant upstairs is really sensitive to the smell of Marijuana because he has quit and does not want to be reminded of it.
We had worked out an agreement with the tenant, which allowed us to smoke on designated ares of the property (outside).
Then we get an email from our landlord saying that we were not allowed to smoke in, on, OR AROUND THE PROPERTY.
I understand in and on. It is his place and it's in the lease. But AROUND?
There is a public path that isn't used very much and cuts through the block and right next to my apartment.
My question is what can my landlord do if I start smoking cigarettes on the pathway? They are legal. There aren't any no-smoking signs on that path but it is still close enough for it to potentially "bother" the upstairs tenants.
Also, there is a parking lot beside my apartment that is usually dead. If i were to smoke (tobacco or marijuana) in this parking lot (yes i know not a good idea just want to know in regards to my landlords power) could my landlord do anything about this? Even if the tenants complained, would it not even be the landlords issue because the problem is occurring on public property?
This is all for now. It's not even the tip of the iceberg with regards to this situation but it is what I need to know now. I'm hoping this is temporary as all of the other tenants are okay and aren't hypersensitive. This tenant is the kind the landlord doesn't want to get emails from. My landlord is a smoker and has smoked on the property, I think he was just obligated to send me the email saying that I could not smoke in, on, or around the property. Help?
TL;DR: | Can my landlord prevent me from smoking on public property next to my apartment after receiving a complaint about smoking on the rental property (outside). He said I was not allow to smoke in, on, or AROUND the property. |
SUBREDDIT: r/pettyrevenge
TITLE: Good luck finding your two week old phone!
POST: **This petty revenge isn't mine but my Dad's.** Today, Dad was told by Boss to wait for someone. Co-worker 1 and 2 decided to be asses and tell Boss that Dad wasn't helping them and Dad proceeds to get reprimanded by Boss. Later on, Dad goes to the restroom, while in there, he sees a brand new phone on the floor. Dad remembers Co-worker 1 bragging about having gotten a brand new phone earlier in the week. Dad turns the volume to silent and then turns the phone off and leaves it in the bathroom cabinet. Co-worker 1 doesn't remember his phone until the end of the day. Asks Dad if he saw it, *Nope.* Tells Coworker 2 to call it and see if he can hear it. *Nope*. Starts to get all worried about his wife yelling at him for losing a brand new and expensive phone. The next day, Boss calls Dad to ask him something or other, ends the call with;
*"Can I ask you something and be honest about it?"*
*"Sure"*
*"Do you think Coworker 3 stole coworker's 1 phone? I've heard rumors he was a kleptomaniac when he was a kid."*
*"I'm not sure."*
Dad starts to feel a bit guilty until the following day when Coworker when starts accusing Dad of stealing his coffee cup.
TL;DR: | Dad has a co-worker who complains about him to boss, Dad finds co-worker's brand new phone, dad turns off phone and leaves it in bathroom cabinet, co-worker hasn't found phone weeks later. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My [22M] GF [21F] just told me that she cheated while drunk. I don't know what to do...
POST: Just to preface, we've been dating for a year and its been an amazing year. She has always been extremely faithful and open and I know she never would want to do this.
She was at a party on Friday that one of her co-workers [m] invited her to. Apparently she got too drunk and ended up throwing up. The coworker she went with helped her while she was sick, but then they went to bed. Apparently they were just talking for a while and then they kissed and then one thing led to another, they had sex for "literally a second" before she freaked out and couldnt do it.
She called me the next morning sobbing. I really want to believe her story and forgive her but I've been cheated on before and it was a terrible experience that set me back for a year or two emotionally. I really do love this girl but I just can't believe that this is happening. I feel so blindsided. Do I try to work through this? How can I try?
TL;DR: | gf of a year had sex for a split second with another guy while blackout at a party, immediately confessed, now I don't know what to do |
SUBREDDIT: r/Parenting
TITLE: Have any of your kids felt awful after coming home from spending the night in a smoker's house?
POST: My daughter (I'll call her L) is 8 and she stayed the night at a friend's house last night. I knew L's friend's parents smoked... but holy shit. As soon as L walked in the door I wanted to vomit from the smell. She was almost in tears when she came in and said that she really didn't feel good at all, even though no one at home or at her friend's house are sick.
She says that it all started last night when she was in her friend's mom's car. Friend's Mom was smoking, and L started to get a sore throat, headache, and dizzy feeling. Apparently they didn't even give her supper last night! Or any snacks at all! I'm pretty pissed off about that.
Obviously she is never staying there again, but my question is, do you all think this is related to the smoke? And if so, what can I do to make her feel better? I thought some food in her tummy and some fresh air might help, so I tried to give her saltines and she ate half of one, and she only took one drink of water. Obviously she's already had a shower since she reeked so badly of smoke and I washed all of her clothes immediately. She just doesn't seem to be feeling any better, but I really doubt that it is the flu or anything like that since she's had her flu shot and no one else we know is sick.
TL;DR: | I think my 8yo daughter is sick from too much exposure to cigarette smoke. What can I do to make her feel better? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: I (27f) was completely blindsided by him (25m) when he broke up with me.
POST: We have been together since March 2012. We did have a breakup back in May '13 but decided to try and work it out. I thought everything was going well. We were having a lot of fun together and I thought he was happy. He told me that this christmas was the best christmas he has ever had. He talked about marriage and he was so excited about it. He sat me down last night before we started to watch a movie and told me he loves me a lot but that he hasn't been happy for the past 6 months. He said the chemistry has gone and he ended it.
When we broke up last time it was really bad. I started to see a therapist and was put on anti-depressants. I could not handle the no-contact. It drove me to the brink of insanity. I am away for college right now so I have no family around. I have friends but none that I consider real friends, just acquaintances.
I really do not want to be in a relationship with someone who says the chemistry is gone but I don't know how to get through this. Everyone always tells me just keep yourself busy, work out, block contact, but it doesn't work for me. I stop eating. I stop sleeping. My hair starts to fall out. I go out with friends but I my mind is always on the situation no matter how hard I try to forget. I am so determined to not be in this situation and I want to be happy. I know the relationship is unhealthy for me but I don't know how to cope with him not being there.
What should I do? I'm in a state of shock right now because I was not expecting it. He says he is going to do whatever he can to help me through it. I appreciate it but I just don't know how it is going to work. I have an appointment with my counsellor on Friday.
TL;DR: | Boyfriend broke up with me out of the blue. Says he's been unhappy for 6 months and the chemistry is gone. How can I get over this? |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Reddit, I'm positive I just fell into a fishing scheme now I feel like an idiot and need some advice.
POST: Throwaway for obvious reasons.
I recently moved out of my old apartment and wanted to sell old furniture so I used craigslist. I was in a rush to get the money so I had cash to furnish my own apartment. I let one of the first people who responded become my prime subject after he offered 50 dollars over asking too. He said he sent the payment and I waited around and finally received in the mail two money orders for much more than what I was asking.
He explained there was a mix up with money orders (I know i'm an idiot looking retrospectively I see this) and I should deposit it then wire the remainder back to him. I rushed into it, deposited one of them and wired the remainder. I still had the second money order and went to deposit it (I had left it at home by mistake) and it wouldn't go. I tried calling the company but they were closed. I then decided to google it and found out this is a VERY common way of scamming people.
Help, I feel like an idiot. And I know the bank will be contacting me (or police) wanting the money. I'm lost, I have to get up early tomorrow but I can't sleep now. I still have the second money order on my desk. Should I go to the police before they come to me? what do I say. I don't even have the full amount I owe them left that bank account.
TL;DR: | I fell for a scam with money orders and wiring money and will soon owe the bank money and possibly face law problems. I'm lost buy still have one of the money orders on me and am looking for help |
SUBREDDIT: r/BreakUps
TITLE: My[m23] ex[f23] of 6 months will be at the same new years party. How should I handle this?
POST: A little more background. My ex broke up with me about 6 months ago. We were together for 4 1/2 years. It was a wonderful relationship until she went to study in Portugal for a year. After she came back everything just didn't work out anymore and we broke up. It was a mutual breakup but it still hurt me so, so much.
Well, she studies in a different city and I was doing great. Until last week. We went to school together and come from the same town...We had a small class reunion and I knew she was gonna be there and I thought it wouldn't be a problem. Oh how wrong I was. I saw her at the reunion and made some smalltalk...and just like that I was back to square one...madly in love. After that she starting sending me textmessages...and I thought that maybe she feels the same. So I called her and asked about her feelings. She has no more feelings for me. She is actually seeing a new guy and thinks that the breakup was the right thing to do.
Right in the feels...So, new years is coming up and we are supposed to go to the same party. But right now I feel like I couldn't handle it and I don't want to cause a scene of some sort when I get drunk. The thought of seeing her with some other guy makes me nauseous.
What's my move here, Reddit? What would you do? Would you go to the party? Or find something else to do and try avoid her?
TL;DR: | Though I was over ex of 6 months. I was wrong. Very wrong. New years party is coming up. She will be there. Go or not go. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My brother [34m] is upset with me [33m] because I will not help him move to a new home?
POST: My brother asked me if I could help him move to a new home. He is 34, works as an engineer for a airplane parts manufacturer and is married to a 29yo accountant.
I work in a high stress 60-70hr/wk job and like to spend my weekends with my family.
I told him I would pay $300 towards the cost of movers as a housewarming gift. He has ignored me since I declined his request. His wife's family is going to be helping him move, no doubt. They previously all pitched in to work on upgrading a few rooms in the house and I declined to help then too. His in-laws are very 'hands-on' and her father is a contractor.
Now I feel guilty. What do you all think
TL;DR: | Brother is in his 30s, with good job and double income. Unreasonable to ask me to help him move? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [f15] suffer from anxiety and it makes it really hard for me to be myself around my boyfriend [m15]
POST: I self-diagnosed myself with anxiety about two years ago, I know they say not to self-diagnose but I get nervous about the tiniest little things and it makes my heart beat really fast and it makes my stomach have that weird feeling. I always plan out exactly what I'm going to do especially when I'm in front of people. For example it makes me nervous to get off the school bus in front of everyone, which I have done thousands of times! I get knots in my stomach whenever I have to speak in front of the class, and I get shy and awkward when I see family members that I haven't spoken to in a long time, like my cousins or uncles.
Whenever I go to hang out with my boyfriend I get really nervous and anxious. I put myself in a shell and I don't act how I act when I'm around my friends. He knows this and he's always saying to me "why don't you act like you do when you're with ____". He's starting to think that I don't like him or something. But the truth is I really like him, I'm just nervous!
When he comes to my house to hang out I get cramps before and feel like I'm going to throw up. and when we start to get physical (making out and stuff) I can feel my heart beating so fast, and I have to keep thinking about what I should do, and it makes it so that I can't just relax and enjoy it.
TL;DR: | I have bad anxiety and it is ruining my relationship with my boyfriend, making me act different around him and get nervous whenever he's around |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: [21 M] My GF [21 F] just confessed to being in a relationship with an older guy who already had a GF. Need advice on how to proceed.
POST: So, names and stuff. My GF's name is Rebecca. I don't know the other guys name or his GF's name and they don't really matter.
Little bit about the relationship first. She was a friend of my sister, older sister, who apparently developed a crush on me over time. Didnt really notice her all that much until she started texting me over the summer. She lives North of Los Angeles about 100 miles from me so it developed into a long distance thing, that only got worse as I spent my summer in San Diego.
Our conversations got intense, which culminated in me spending time with near the end of summer. Things got a bit intimate, but nothing too serious. After those few days of me visiting her, I had to get ready for my upcoming semester and the relationship basically grinder to halt.
We still talked, but it wasn't the same and no where near as intense until a few weeks ago.
Then today Becca texted me while I was just hanging out with my roommate asking if I could tell her everything was going to be okay. I was worried so I asked her to tell what was going on. She said she was having an anxiety attack and wanted some comfort from me.
She eventually calms down and I ask her what is she so worried about. She eventually says that she was in a relationship with an older guy a few months back, her exact words, and is feeling guilty over it because he had a girlfriend.
I then asked her if she knew at the time, to which she replied yes. I haven't responded to her since. I am just confused.
I guess i am just looking for advice on how to approach the situation. First thought was when exactly she started this relationship? Was she cheating? Second thought was questioning her character.
Like I said, looking for advice on how to proceed. Any similar situations?
TL;DR: | My GF felt guilty over past relationship and may have admitted to cheating, possibly, and being a homewrecker (spelling?). |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: I [m/18] can't stop thinking about a girl [f/16], but when she's around I get crazy nervous.
POST: This is kind of an update to my post a few weeks ago. [Link](
Anyways, the girl went on vacation for a few weeks and I recently saw her last Sunday. For most of the day she was on my mind but no opportunities presented themselves for us to talk. Near the end of the day she initiated a conversation with me which was short but left me feeling really giddy afterwards. She was laughing a bit at some of the stuff I said but unfortunately I was pulled aside by someone else and I couldn't talk with her again.
I think of her a lot at work and home and start smiling and getting sidetracked from whatever I'm doing. That said, when she's around I freeze up and don't know how to act. I want this whole thing to work out so badly that I can't say or do anything for fear of blowing it. I know I should just grow some balls and talk to her but when I'm in the social situation I find it very hard.
TL;DR: | Girl is always on my mind but I'm too scared to talk to her and mess up. Plus, I'm really horrible at reading signs from her. I don't know if she's interested. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: My computer sounds like a lawnmower, please help!
POST: My computer started to sound like this a while back, almost a year ago. So i simply took off all of the chords and pulled my monitor, keyboard, and mouse off my desk and filled the space with my laptop. This worked for a while but i want to be able to use my laptop in other places, as is i treat like a desktop, which it obviously is not.
So today i decided to open up the my computer, on its side. Worked fine, left it on for an hour or two, came back, nothing. I was stoked. Then when i popped it up on it's side, it did it again. So with the side off i looked around and came to the conclusion that it is the fan on the power supply that is making the noise. For a while it would speed up then hit something or something and stop, then repeat. But now it's constant. When i layed it down on its side it stopped, but not anymore.
Right now i'm running the computer with it's side off facing away from my desk so it won't heat up. Which, is working nicely, except for the noise.
Reddit what should i do? Replace the power supply or fix the fan? I tried to pull the power supply out. I unscrewed it, but it wouldn't come out, who knew there could be so many damn chords coming from this box >.<. Is it possible to replace just the fan? that could be cheaper, right?
TL;DR: | the fan in my computer's power supply is off balance or something and sounds like a lawnmower, please help. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My [28F] husband [29M] of 3 years used to be abusive, isn't as bad now, but I don't like having sex with him anymore.
POST: Background: met overseas, got involved in casual relationship, fell in love got married. Ignored signs of PTSD, alcohol abuse because of the butterflies etc... Three years later, after the first few having verbal/physical abuse (usually alcohol related), and after a somewhat open marriage (based on his "rules"), two deployments and almost a divorce...I just don't really like him anymore. He wants some form of sex almost everyday. Threatens (jokingly) to get a girlfriend.
I am not perfect, obviously. When I was gone, I hid things from him because I didn't think his "rules" regarding sex with other men were fair. He would make me send pictures (which he now holds as blackmail tools) throughout the entire event, which really ruined it for me. Got mad when sex lasted longer with other men (because it was new and exciting), and still holds it against me. But eventually he knew the whole truth. And he ALWAYS tried to get me back for it, in some form or fashion.
The whole event really turned me off to him. I still love him, but don't like him. He is still manipulative and somewhat verbally abusive. He is a good dad to our kid, but does not really help around the house. He said he supported me continuing education (while still military full time), but then turns around and berates me for abandoning my family to do homework at night. He's a trigger to my newfound anxiety from Afghanistan. He says he's open to counseling, but I think he'd just placate for a short time.
I'm not happy but I don't know at what point getting out for my personal happiness is more important than my child having a dad around. He's upset that I don't want sex as often as I used to, but after a baby, a deployment, new birth control, and the "newness" wearing off...I just don't know. Spicing things up isn't really an option, because we've both been there done that...and now I have issues with it.
TL;DR: | Military couple, dabbled in open marriage, some abusive tendencies, I don't like sex with him anymore, and I kind of just don't even like him, but love him. What do I even do? |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Uhaul customer service agent "You can't just reverse the charges once something has been paid for". Where do you go from here when your can't get any help from customer service? Any ideas for me Reddit?
POST: My credit card would not swipe correctly at the time of pick up. I asked the uhaul rep to please enter it manually or check to see if the card had been used to reserve the truck. He was unable to do either so after a while my father in law offered to use his card to complete the rental. I reluctantly agreed.
At the drop off location, I asked told the uhaul rep my story and asked him to please finalize the charges for the rental on my card. He said he was unable to do this and that you could only bill to the card presented at pick up. Wow. okay. I guess I will call customer service then.
I called customer service today and told the customer service agent my story and asked her to please make the situation right by billing the service to My credit card as I had requested all along the way. She said she was unable to do this since the transaction was already completed and that you "couldn't reverse charges on a credit card once a transaction is done". I said that crediting a card is a common practice. She said she still couldn't do it. I asked to speak with her manager and she said no one was available but she could transfer me to a local office and asked what my zip code was. What?
This email is my next step in trying to resolve this minor situation, which involves putting my purchase on my card instead of my father in law's card. Shouldn't be a big deal. I'm hoping whoever reads this can help me. My father in law is in his 80's and just had surgery for his esophageal cancer. He does not need to be paying for my uhaul rental.
TL;DR: | My card wouldn't swipe on the machine at pickup, my father in law who just had cancer surgery ends up running his. Three different uhaul employees have been asked to put the charge on the right card. Nope. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My[22M] gf[20F] pretended like she cheated on me as a joke.
POST: So I was hanging out with my gf last night and she said she cheated on me the night she went to the bar with her friends. We got in a fight before she went and the joke she told me was she "just kissed and danced with a guy".
I thought she was kidding at first until she started to seem convincing. I was about to storm out and then said she was joking around and physically grabbed me keeping me in the room.
Now I feel hurt now that I'm reflecting on it. I guess kinda mentally blocked it last night but now that I'm away from her its making me feel bad.
TL;DR: | gf told me she cheated on me, I believed her and she said she was joking. Wtf do I make of this? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me 23M with my girlfriend 22f of 5.5 years,i think its time to call it quits but I cant seem to do it.
POST: the first four years of our relationship were simple, neither of us had many friends so we became very close very quickly. we almost never fought and we always had something going on so we were never bored.
a few months after our four year anniversary ,i ran into an old friend from my childhood that i hadn't seen in since high school and decided to hang out with him again from time to time. my girlfriend wasn't happy about this because we always spent all of our time together and she felt that she was no longer my main priority in life.
over the past year things have gone from bad to worse. she refuses to join me when i hang out with my friend. she says that she cannot trust me and has asked me to cut contact with him completely or she will leave me.
anytime i go to end things, i can never seem to actually do it and just end up apologizing for starting an argument. i hate to hurt her but i cant keep going like this
TL;DR: | girlfriend hates my only true friend and wants me to cut contact, i want to end it with her but cant follow through |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [M/24] want to break up with my SO [F/22] but am worried if I do, she won't pay me back the money I lent her.
POST: So about a 8 months back, I lent my gf of 3 years some money to help her pay for the rest of her school and other stuff. At the time I was working at a job in another city, but was already set to come back home (not because of her, but because I had another opportunity lined up there).
At the time I said something along the lines of "this is my half of the first 8 months' rent when I come back." Even with the money I gave her, she still has loans to pay and isn't making enough to pay me back if I wanted her to. This is complicated by the fact, that she got a slightly nicer apartment in a big city because I helped her out, which she pays a lot of her income to afford by herself now.
So anyways, I feel like we've both changed during this LDR, and that I definitely don't want to be with her anymore. The problem is I also want her to pay me back at some point. I won't starve without the money, and I could afford to move in to a cheaper place by myself but it's a quite a bit of money and would help me out if I had it.
I was planning on moving in and just pretending for a while, but I'm about a week away from that and it's just starting to seem like a terrible idea. She would not be ok with us living together if we aren't dating, and will probably just not pay me back if I broke up with her at this point.
I guess I'm just wondering what I should do. A friend suggested I live with her and see if things go back to how they used to be, while another told me I should tell her now and just take the loss.
TL;DR: | Gave girlfriend money we both assumed would be rent for when we lived together, changed my mind, now want to get out of relationship without having to give up money I gave her |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [23 M] with my girlfriend [25 F] of 9 months, and having some religious differences.
POST: I've been dating my GF for quite a few months now, She is supportive, caring, compassionate, and we seem to click on all cylinders when we are together. She caters to my schedule while I'm in grad school, as I cater to her work schedule.
That being said, we did recently talk about religion which seems to be quite the disagreement. I happen to be atheist, and she Christian. I'll admit, I'm pretty ignorant when it comes to different religious segregation/groups from a Christian background, but I know she is a very strict believer, attends church twice weekly, and has gone on mission trips.
That being said, while we normally have very open discussions and are very fluent with eachother, when religion came up and we discussed our differences, it seems like a cloud came over us. There were discussions about how potentially having a family and the way they (kids) would be brought up.
We are both a bit stubborn and inflexible on this (even while at a young age), but beliefs are beliefs. I respect them and wouldn't ever ask anyone to change their values.
I'm just wondering if anyone has any insight or past experiences pertaining to this. Any insight long term, people in families with different beliefs, how it was approached, or what to potentially do! Any insight is appreciated. Thank you!
TL;DR: | Girlfriend and I have strict, cemented religious differences/beliefs. Wondering how it might affect our relationship and potential family |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Reddit, should I send this guy to jail?
POST: Hi Reddit.
I live in Oakland, CA. I like it here. But one month ago, I got mugged. They took my bag with phone/wallet/keys/awesome sunglasses. The good thing is, they weren't out to harm me so I'm okay. The other good thing is, my father was kind enough to make it all better by buying me an awesome phone.
I immediately installed an app called Look Out (Android users: it is free, and awesome. Read on to hear why).
So here I am, trying to still love Oakland and all, attending a kitten shower (yes, a kitten shower) at the local SPCA where I volunteer. Well, while I am in there, petting kittens, someone broke the window of my boyfriend's truck and stole my phone (not, may I say, the iPad and other stuff that was also inside).
As soon as we found out, I activated the app, which will locate the phone and make it "scream" on command. The phone was about 5 blocks away. We called the police, etc, tracked them down, busted this dude and his girlfriend who were lazily biking down the road.
The dude, who was holding the phone when the cops pulled up, is being charged for possession of stolen goods. He has a history and was on parole. He is looking at 6 months now.
Today, I got a call from his girlfriend. She says, "please drop the charges. We were gonna move in together, he has a three year-old-son. Please drop the charges, we will pay for the window."
What would you do? On the one hand, hell, she's making me feel guilty and I don't want to fish out $200 of my own pocket to pay for the window. Plus, prison doesn't make anyone a better person.
On the other hand, it's about paying for your actions and being aware of your consequences. They would have made off with a phone whose retail value is $600, and I would have had to pay for the window as well.
TL;DR: | Broke my window and stole my phone. Should I drop the charges? Also, Android users should install Look Out now. |