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SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My [24 M] parents [50s M/F] won't let my sister [25 F] take her boyfriend [26 M] to their house. He has been there a few times before and they think he's bad for her. Is the request valid?
POST: My sister and her boyfriend have been together for a year now. She has had other boyfriends in the past with bright futures, good family manners, etc, but ended up not working out for other reasons. She is now happier with her current boyfriend than she ever had been with her previous relationships, but my parents claim to see something in him to the point that they are no longer allowing her to bring him to their house.
She has taken him there before, but my parents think he is a bad match for and influence on my sister.
Firstly, he does not have the family manners they have grown to expect. Small things like letting my sister carry heavy luggage without offering to help, not offering to help do their laundry, not offering food that he's brought over, eating/drinking throughout the house without asking to bring food out of the kitchen.
Outside of their house, more things bother my parents. He has a relatively low-paying job at the moment, seems to spend most nights at my sisters apartment (he still lives at home, but plans to move into a place soon), they claim to think that he drives her car when he needs it for things instead of his own, they claim that he eats unhealthfully which they think has impacted my sisters diet, and the list goes on.
My dad particularly is SO adamant that he is not right for my sister, that he has told her to not come to his household with him because it makes him feel uncomfortable seeing him treat her this way and not up to the standards he feels she deserves. He feels that long-term, he is not the one for her. Is this a valid request? How should I handle this?
TL;DR: | Parents wont let my sister bring her boyfriend to their house because my dad gets uncomfortable seeing him. They think he's not good for her. Is this a valid request? |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: How can I turn my tax return into a profit?
POST: The title of this post pretty much explains what I'm asking but I'll throw a little bit of my life story in here as well.
To start off, my tax return wasn't nearly as much as I'd thought it be this year. I'm guessing that's due to the whole "cutting back on our taxes" which at least to me, didn't seem like it helped any but I didn't really look into it too much. For the past couple of years, I'd get around $1k to $1.2k for Federal and State. This year, I'm looking at about $700 total.
Now, people may be thinking that I shouldn't be bitching about this as you may think: "Well, at least you're stilling getting money for some goodies."
This is not the case for me, all this money will be going towards DUI fines and a reinstatement fee to get my license back. I owe about $1.3k altogether in which I have to pay by April 21st. Well, I wish all the money I'm getting from my return could go all towards the fines, but atlas, I need to catch up on some bills as well.
I'm stressing bad with money issues as I don't know how I'm going to be able to acquire all the money I need by April 21st to be in the clear. I have a decent job (well, I fucking hate it) where I get full time at $9/hour. I've been there for about 2 years and the chance of getting a pay raise doesn't seem like it's going to happen anytime soon for a few reasons. Anyways, I pretty much make enough to get by with paying all the bills, gas, cigs, food, ect. but not enough to really throw money onto the side towards these fines.
*So I'm wondering Reddit, this community is bright with ideas: How can I turn my tax return into a profit?
TL;DR: | Tax return wasn't as much as I'd thought it would be, fines due April 21st and I'm stressing about money. I need ideas to turn my return into a profit. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [29F] with my ex boyfriend [30 M] has never seen a future with me but considers me his best friend, is attracted to me, and always wants to cuddle after casual sex
POST: wtf?
together for over a year, I was his first everything. he claims he loved me and still cares about me (we didn't speak for a couple of years and got back in touch due to mutual friends). He is still attracted to me, we started hooking up again recently, but as soon as that happened he was off trying to date other woman (this only happens when I'm back in his life btw!) - and now he's found one that he really really likes, but he still wants to be cuddly and friendly with me and confide in me as a friend.
TL;DR: | Acts like he's my boyfriend when he's around me, says I'm his best friend but there's no future with me, and actively seeks other relationships only when I come back into his life. explanation? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [22, M] with my boyfriend [20, M] of one year broke up on my birthday.
POST: This morning at about 12 AM, my boyfriend calls me, begins to cry and say he can't do it anymore. November 3rd would be a year. He says that I'm a good person, just that it feels distant and that he has drifted.
While we have both been busy, and we are two hours about by car, we usually see each other at least every month, but it has dwindled recently due to time constraints. Everything has seemed fine and good, until Thursday, calling me saying that I shouldn't expect much for my birthday anniversary. Essentially, he didn't have the money to come see me.
This made me feel really unimportant and we did have some issues around it. I tried my best to try to understand where he was coming from, however it still upset. Because really, that was all I wanted to do was see him. The best gift I could have received was seeing that I make such a wonderful person happy.
My question is: is it wrong to feel really sour that this happened on my birthday? I just feel like it is really douchey. Am I wrong to not wanna fight him leaving? I have had this happened before, and it just ended up hurting me even more. He has said this before, about thinking about leaving me, then ended up crying to me saying he couldn't believe he almost lost it.
While I did everything I could, I know I could be hard on him at times. He was a great guy and none of this makes any sense. He tells me he still loves me, just that it's his fault. It makes no sense two hours before he told me he loved me and calling me baby. Then it's over.
TL;DR: | My boyfriend of nearly a year broke up with me on my birthday and a day before the year of us going out. How should I feel? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [21 M] am losing interest in GF [23 F] of 8 months, but do I have a larger problem of serially losing interest?
POST: So I seem to be losing interest in my gf. I love her a lot, but the romantic spark doesn't seem to be there. It's quite strange though. I basically become obsessed with people, wanting to know everything about them, their childhood, their interests, their loves, their passions, their secrets, their embarrassing moments, etc... But once that honeymoon phase passes, I feel like it's almost a chore talking to them.
Why do I "serially" lose interest in people? Is something wrong with me? Maybe it's because she's a little chubby and not the classic sexy type, but I think she has an adorable personality, just not very sexually appetizing. We have great sex, once a day usually, and it's pretty great. It's just not invigorating like when I get into honeymoon periods.
Does that just mean I'm a terrible human being that won't be satisfied in relationships for the rest of my life? I know that love is something that isn't going to be a honeymoon type of love for the rest of my life, but I feel like that kind of disney/invigorating love is possible.
I guess one of my big issues is that it's really easy to talk to girls that I'm interested in. Because of my huge interest, I'm able to have very great/deep conversations. But, as soon as that period is over, I feel like I have nothing else to talk about, like I've exhausted all my interest or questions. It's almost boring to talk to them. I'm one of those people that seem to think it's much easier talking to girls than with guys, but idk. What do you guys think?
TL;DR: | Losing interest, maybe it's because she's not sexy, maybe I'm Hitler. I get obsessed about interesting girls and their lives, but once I learn almost everything I get bored of them. Seems to happen often. |
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU by opening Notepad
POST: So I'm in year nine, first period multimedia. We're supposed to be finishing off some video, which I have already completed. So since it's gonna be another do-nothing lesson, I plug in my USB and start messing around with some lame scripts I made (editing especially).
Of course my teacher (who I'll now refer to as sir - everyone does) suddenly pops up behind me and starts reading the script. I close it, but the folder I opened it from is still open, and sir with his all-seeing eyes spots the file name, which I stupidly named "hack". Sir also notices it's in a folder named executables and assumes it's full of viruses or something. He yanks my USB out, takes me outside and asks me what I was doing.
I explain to him that I was writing a script, as there was nothing else to do. Sir claims that he told us all to make another video in flash because our first one was so crap (not going to lie, only me and 3 others submitted them, and the others were mostly pretty bad, exhibit A being the whole alphabet with animals corresponding to the first letters of their names - I made it to e). I'm fairly sure mine was top quality material but evidently sir thought otherwise.
OK, past the boring stuff. Sir says that he's going to give my USB to the IT dudes to check for dodgy stuff. I end up waiting outside some staff room for the rest of the period, until finally sir comes back and tells me that there's tons of evidence on it (USB) and they now know I'm part of a group of hackers who the IT dudes have been watching for ages. No, I'm actually not.I know the guys who are, but it's not me. Sir tells me that if I want my USB back I'll have to visit Mr Deputy Principal.
I admit now, there was some dodgy stuff on my USB from ages ago that I'd downloaded back when I thought it was cool to 'hack'. None of said scripts actually worked.
I'm not gonna lie, I'm pretty scared. Will update later.
TL;DR: | Opened script with notepad, teacher saw and sent my USB off to the IT dudes to analyze. USB had some dodgy looking stuff on. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My [22M] mother [50sF] doesn't like my gf [23F], am I dealing with this in the right way?
POST: Basic info: We've been dating for over 2 years, and we both live with our parents. Let's say my girlfriend's name is Mary.
My mother has narcissistic tendencies, and I've learned eventually how to deal with some of her nonsense. However, my mother makes snide comments about Mary anytime she is mentioned in conversation or when she realizes I'm speaking to her. It's not really unexpected since my mother hates almost everyone she interacts with, unfortunately, but her comments make my blood boil. I avoid responding in kind, however.
As a result of this, I make sure they don't meet (not difficult, since mom has no wish to do so and does not allow Mary into our house) so Mary doesn't get caught up in this ridiculousness. In the long term, I plan to remove my mother from the picture, going low to no contact with her.
However, right now I feel like I'm just avoiding the problem because, as I see it, exposing the situation right now to my gf would be unnecessarily hurtful, as I don't see a short term solution which wouldn't involve fundamentally changing my mother. Also, because my future in-laws are well adjusted people, I fear Mary doesn't realize how bad it can get with mom.
Am I dealing with this in the right way? A huge part of me feels shitty that I don't defend Mary, but I fear it'd be a fool's errand to change my mother's mind, and it would make my life at home even more of a living hell, since she loves to create drama and is practically 100% of the time at home (she does not work and has no hobbies nor friends whatsoever). I already get stressed out sometimes because of her, and I don't want to make the situation worse.
Extra info: I plan to move out in 1~1,5 years. My dad is also full of mom's bs, but deals with it by being chill, pretty much.
TL;DR: | Mother badmouths gf every time she comes up in conversation, and I just ignore it because it's the less troublesome way of dealing with it right now. Am I in the wrong? |
SUBREDDIT: r/dating_advice
TITLE: Young inexperienced and recently got a girlfriend, in need of assistance in controlling my feelings...
POST: Hi, I'm a 17 year old boy who's recently got into a relationship, right now things are going pretty good, however I am sadly one of those people who can suddenly flip from being calm and relaxed to somewhat insecure and needy when in a relationship. I don't believe the issue is trust based and I don't believe it is to do with a lack of self confidence; I have a lot of spare time and as this is all still new and exciting she dominates my thoughts as I have little distraction from her other than my revision, as a result of this I crave her attention to an extent which would probably make her uncomfortable if she knew... I've been doing an alright job of hiding it so far and I am trying to keep myself busy to reduce this somewhat. However I do have these sudden bursts of neediness, sometimes they can last for an hour or two and sometimes longer but generally I do always manage to return to a calm state, sadly they can occur on a daily basis. I was just wondering if anyone had tips for dealing with these sudden bursts of neediness and how to try and control and calm myself in these brief moments of madness.
TL;DR: | In a new relationship, having sudden bursts of clingyness/neediness, in need of a few tips on how to control them. |
SUBREDDIT: r/personalfinance
TITLE: Credit Report Help - Rapid Repair
POST: Hi,
This is my first reddit post and I am in need of some communal advice/assistance. I'm starting a new job and I'm looking for apartments for myself, my wife and our 2 children to move in to. We've had issues before where a credit check has resulted in double security deposit or an outright refusal to allow us on a lease. My wife and I checked our Experian, Equifax and TransUnion reports this evening and estimated between $2000-$3000 negatively effecting us. This new job makes it easy for us to repay this amount quickly, but how can I push my credit profile into the positive as fast as possible? We are looking to move at the beginning of May so I would need repair done by April to put in applications as we apartment hunt.
We have a couple Hospital accounts in collection. A few Utility accounts and a couple OLD credit cards. No foreclosures, repossessions or evictions.
Also, is there a company or business you all would recommend to contact for help in this situation?
Thank you!
TL;DR: | $2000-$3000 Negative Accounts on Credit Report, In need of rapid repair to apply for apartment rentals this Spring. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Expressing my(27m) true feelings hurt hers(26f)
POST: Me and my girlfriend have been together for about a year now and it is my best relationship I every had. I truly like her and see a future with us together. I have never before got that feeling of "we will be together our whole life".
But even that I feel this way I can still lust for other women. I would never do anything with anyone becuse that would screw up the relationship that I am in, and I don't want that. I want to be with my girlfriend and I want to make her happy. To clearify, I have never been, and would never be unfaithful.
But the thing is when I told my girlfriend she felt hurt by me feeling this way.
I dont want to hurt her, But I dont know how to change the way I feel. I am never going to do anything with anyone else from her. But the thing stopping me from sleeping with others is that I value our relationship.
TL;DR: | Its bothering me that i cant talk about this without hurting her, on the other hand i dont want to take her feeling away from her! |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I'm [20 F] considering cheating on my girlfriend [21 F] of 2 years.
POST: I have been dating my gf for almost two years now. We are planning on getting engaged over this winter. I am absolutely head-over-heels in love with her and couldn't imagine my life without her. Our sex is great; however, I feel I may be "missing out sexually" having never slept with a guy and maybe never getting to do so.
Before we started dating she had been with guys and was unsatisfied with the sex. She always talks about how bland it was and how gross guys are. I will admit, I am not particularly attracted to guys and find penises off-putting. With that said, I do find something about a man's orgasm rather arousing. It's typically what I think about masturbating and occasionally what I think about during sex with my gf.
I am unsure whether it's better to go my entire life not knowing, or to cheat on the woman I couldn't imagine my life without.
And no, of course I have't talked to my gf about it because every time I mention a male she blows it off and says I'm gross.
TL;DR: | Do I have a one night fling and risk losing my S/O, or go the rest of my life not knowing what it's like having sex with a man? |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: What is the biggest/or most long term lie you have ever told?
POST: So mine isn't too bad, but I know I'll have to keep it up for at least another 5 years if I don't want any repercussions for what I did.
My friend invited me to go see musical comedian Bo Burnham last spring. Her and I are both huge fans and were over joyed with the fact that we had the chance to go see him live. Her parents were fine with it, but of course mine were not. They said that because I had a C in Spanish class, I didn't deserve to go. Yet they didn't know that this was the night that they were leaving to go on a trip to Germany. So I stole over 80 dollars from them and gave it to my friend to buy tickets. I came home from this awesome experience with a signed poster. I then had to lie about how I'd gotten it and I always had to be careful not to name meeting Bo with the other celebrities I have met or talk about it around them. My friend has slipped up before and we've had to make up more excuses and lies for why she slipped up.
TL;DR: | I stole over 80 dollars from my parents and lied to them about going to see Bo Burnham live and have to continue lying about it to this day. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: [f18]&[m18] - Why a fight over speed limits on motorways could break up my relationship
POST: Hi reddit,
yesterday, my boyfriend of two months and I had a fight. It wasn't a discussion, we really fought and in the end he was mad at me and didn't speak to me for about half an hour, because I told him that I thought there should be a speed limit on motorways.
The day before that, we also fought but the issue was so minor I've already forgotten what it was about.
Today, we basically had a fight about how I had gotten a considerably better grade for my school paper than he had.
When we discussed the motorway thing, though, he brought up that he is scared that he might get so mad at me that he'd leave me because of some issue like that. Now I'm scared, too. :(
I think he maybe feels that I outargue him in most discussions and that he is therefore hurt and gets mad at me because he knows I'm right or something. He has also told me something similar to this in a fight we had a while ago.
I feel that what he does is pretty immature and also hurtful to me. (He told me that he hates disussing with me and my way of discussion sucks because I always have to be right.)
He does show potential though. When I told him that his worts hurt me he said he was genuinely sorry. (And that was the first time I heard him apologize to anyone. So, progress. Yeah!)
But I don't want this kind of problems to damage our relationship because I think I really like him.
I don't think it is exclusively my fault and I think that he has to change his behavior, as well, in order to solve this, but **I'd like to know what I can do to improve the situation.
TL;DR: | My bf gets mad at me when we discuss about stupid issues and calls me self-opinionated and evil. He also expressed that he might leave me over a fight like that. WHAT DO |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Car+Ditch+Boulders
POST: So this morning on my way to school taking a shortcut through a neighborhood where the roads had not been salted what so ever, and it it was pretty icy out, I was driving as slowly and carefully as I could. Turning the corner the car start slipping and went right in to a ditch. I would have been just fine with this, but this ditch just so happened to have a line of freaking boulders in it and almost destroyed my car's engine, the front right tire about to pop off and axle/bumper damage. So because the people who live there put those rocks there's am I able to sue them for the damages? I remember something about even if someone is trespassing you still have to protect them from man made disasters.
TL;DR: | My car slipped off the road in to a ditch, owners of the home had boulders there and damaged my car, can I sue? |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Fuck "Look at me now, bitch" - anyone have a good story about being bullied, only to have the bully apologize later on in life, to which you accepted and forgave?
POST: I never got bullied in school, however once I was rounded up by a buch of guys on a beach when I was a teenager taunting me, throwing a few sucker punches, calling me a faggot, and eventually trying to shoot firecrackers at me.
As I was outnumbered greatly I walked away and took the damage, it was pretty hard to do, but I knew that sticking up for myself would just end up in a beating.
That created several fantasy scenarios in my head (I should have cracked this guy, then tackled this guy, then stole their woman etc) which gave me some form of solitude.
Skip forward 10 years the "ring leader" comes up to me in a bar, asks if I am that guy, the gives me a solid, genuine apology and hopes that it never caused too much pain.
It took my by shock, as all those teenage stories of what I should have done suddenly became completely obsolete.
I gratefully accepted his apology, we had a little talk about it, then proceeded to drink beer all night playing foosball and generally had a great time.
I still see him around casually, and things are totally cool.
TL;DR: | Got cornered by a group, walked away as too many to fight, ring leader comes to me 10 years later and apologizes in bar, we drink, laugh and play foozball. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: I [27m] am having a hard time with GF [24f] lack of cleaning habits
POST: Been dating my 24f girlfriend for about 9 months, and now that she owns her own home she's constantly wanting me to come there, so I'm spending much more time at her house than ever before.
Here's the thing. She's messy. I wouldn't go as far as to say dirty, but certainly not extremely clean, and she's very messy.. She only cleans when there's not enough room in the kitchen to do anything, so she has to.. The entire kitchen gets covered in dishes, boxes, pans from previous meals until there's no room left. I've noticed instead of cleaning, or putting anything away or in the sink/dishwasher, she simply makes piles throughout the house. Cloths, wine glasses, laundry, you name it, she doesn't put it away.
I'm a very clean, neat, and tidy person. Very. So her house almost gives me anxiety and I find myself cleaning almost every time I go over to her house. I can't even surprise her with dinner, because I know I'll have to do a 1 hr clean job in kitchen, then clean a pan to cook with, and it makes it a 4 hour extravaganza.
Her couch always has dishes, cloths, shoes, and mail... fucking mail. All over the place.
How do I address her lack of cleanliness or being lazy without being rude? I've made comments before and she tells me not to be mean, but it's a bit disgusting and starting to bother me more and more. She is clean, and always well dressed, but the house... Another story.
TL;DR: | My gf is extremely messy and makes piles around the house, rather than cleaning. Only cleans when there's no room left in kitchen and has to. How do I address her lack of general cleaning or upkeep without being too rude? |
SUBREDDIT: r/weddingplanning
TITLE: Uh, hey guys, the wedding is postponed (rant)
POST: So a little back story, my fiance and I have been together over 4 years now but we've know each other much longer. We've been engaged about a year and we bought a house together a couple months back. He has a well paying job and has money in excess. (Not bragging that bit of information is key) My job is not ad well paying, but I work hard and contribute as much as I can. After arguing about money all the time he started to pay for more things. He pretty ouch covered the house and 50% of the expenses to repair the house. I've been trying to plan this wedding for months and every time I bring up money he gets defensive. Well last night we had a talk because our date is fast approaching and we don't have anything booked. He flat out told me that he will not help me pay for the wedding because he had already paid for much of the house. And they way we decided to pay bills hasn't left me with any money to spare, right now. The advice I need from you beautiful people is how do I go about telling everyone that the wedding is postponed indefinitely with out making him look like a total jack as? I took on a second job to have more income, I just don't have a lump sum to put down a deposit to all these venues.
TL;DR: | my FH refuses to help me pay for the wedding and now I have to tell everyone it's been postponed indefinitely. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I'm leaving for one month, how do I manage my relationship with GF from 7500 miles away?
POST: First off I'm not sure if this would be the right subreddit. I was going to post on r/LongDistance but it doesn't seem like too many people are active on there, and I need a rather quick response because I leave within the next 24 hours.
I'm 19 [m] and my gf is 19 [f]. We've been together for almost 10 months now. It's an amazing relationship and we both love each other very much. It is LDR, however but only about hour and half away from each other so it's not too bad at all. I'm leaving for vacation with my family to my home country and I'll be 7500 miles away from her but it is only for about 4 weeks.
Somethings I'm worried about. Major one is communication. We're used to talking all day and calling each other 2-3 times a week at night. However, I won't have internet access at my house in my home country but I will at my cousins' houses. I did get my phone unlocked but I'm not sure how that process works and if I'll be able to text her internationally. If someone has any information about that, it will be great. I'm an AT&T user and have an iPhone 4. I will try my best to talk with her everyday but I know sometimes that won't be possible.
Another thing I'm worried about is what after I come back our relationship is different? The time zones are going to be completely different and I know we won't be able to talk as much as we do now. What if she gets emotionally distant after because shes used to me not being there for her?
Fellow redditors, help me out by giving me some advice, please :)
TL;DR: | going on vacation 7500 miles away for one month. worried about being able to communicate with gf. any tips? |
SUBREDDIT: r/needadvice
TITLE: Not sure to either keep or quit my current part-time job
POST: I have recently went through a painful emotional and slightly physical experience that I only had at least 1 day to recover. I managed to recover *physically* after going to the hospital.
However, my emotions still felt empty and I could barely find the motivation to work. The job is wonderful, both the boss and supervisor is great, but I'm only planning on taking it for 3 months period. The only reason why I asked was because I don't want to keep working dishonestly since the events that happened before is still affecting me. My mind is currently in a rut, feeling confused and I'm trying to pick up the pieces since last Monday.
Surprisingly, I can still manage to do the task that was given but I can tell I'm trying way too hard to act normally. Any advice would be highly appreciated.
TL;DR: | Been through a painful experience and it is still affecting me now. Don't want to drag down the store but not sure whether I should keep it or not since it is a wonderful job. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [28F] with my boyfriend [30M] dating for a year, he was previously engaged and has never told me.
POST: Been together with my SO for a year now. I find myself in a slightly odd situation and I don't know if this is something I should bring up or feel concerned over.
Due to social media these days, I know that my SO was previously engaged before dating me. When we really began to "talk" to one another, he obviously did all he could to remove any evidence of his previous engagement. He's never mentioned any of it to me. Is this something I should be concerned about? I don't like feeling like this is a secret he is keeping from me.
Things are getting pretty serious between the two of us, and I could see a future with him. Should I just tell him that I know? Should I feel justified in feeling uncomfortable that he has never told me these details about his past?
I assume it's something he must be embarrassed about but I don't like feeling like that's just something he plans to keep from me forever.
TL;DR: | Boyfriend was previously engaged right before I met him but has never told me he was. Should I be concerned about this? Should I just tell him I know? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [20 M] with my girlfriend [18 F] 4 months, told her I love her and I feel it was the worst time to do so
POST: I have been with this wonderful woman for four months (known her for a little over a year), and over the course of our relationship I have come to know that I convincingly and unequivocally love her deeply. She's the woman I absolutely need to be a part of my life, in so many ways. This past weekend we spent with her parents, and it was one of the best weekends I have had in a long time. I was prepared to tell her I loved her on Sunday, but she became slightly tipsy and I decided it would be best to wait until we were both sober in our thoughts. Fast-forward to tonight, we're at a party my apartment is hosting. We've both had a few drinks (but neither of us are drunk, and in fact I didn't feel anything at this point) and are on my bed when she says she doesn't want me to doubt myself if I ever tell her I love her. I looked her in the eyes and told her, and she seemed disappointed by it. She said "I love you too" countless times, but I could tell it distressed her. Love is such a big thing to us, and to her, and she takes it incredibly seriously, and I feel like I cheapened it or made her unconvinced of my feelings towards her by saying it when we weren't completely sober. I'm mortified at myself. She's being incredibly supportive, as always, saying she believes me and that if I say it again she'll still act like it's the first time, but I don't want her to have to do that. I'm so disappointed in myself that she has to tell me she believes me. I want her to just know, and have no doubt. We're not fighting or anything, and she isn't angry. She's quite honestly being wonderfully supportive of the whole matter. I just feel like I screwed up badly.
This woman is my everything. I would do anything for her. Is there anything you think can be done that would help? I want her to know how deeply I care for her.
TL;DR: | I told my girlfriend that I love her, but neither of us were completely sober, and now I'm worried she doesn't believe me and that I've cheapened what my feelings mean to her. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: (19/f) Having anxiety about my relationship with my bf (19) *again How do I stop this?
POST: Last year our relationship was a roller coaster, I was diagnosed with depression/anxiety, so I had to deal with that, I lost about 10kg last year because I kept getting sick and wasn't able to eat every time we had a fight, and he had to deal with me being crazy and worried ect. I was constantly afraid he would leave me for this other girl ect.Don't get me wrong, he was a great guy. I just don't think we both dealt with things very well. Anyway, we split up for a bit, I got heaps better, and stronger I guess, and we got back together. And its been great. Ive had trouble with a lot of my close friends last year (including that girl) so we are pretty much not friends anymore. Neither were they friends with my bf. However that suddenly changed when he started talking to that girl again, obviously just as friends, but Im getting those horrible feelings again. He went out with all my old friends, I try so hard to be cool with it but I feel sick again. I love him to death, but I don't want to be crazy again this year. How do i stop it? How do i deal with it? I keep thinking he will get sick of me, all those kind of thoughts are coming back. And I don't really have anyone else to hang out with anymore (all my other friends are single males- great guys who know im taken but it obviously would bother the bf and I wanted to keep things going great this year) so I dont know what to do.
TL;DR: | Having anxiety/trust issues with my bf, afraid they'll ruin our relationship again, how do I stop it and calm down |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: [Me 27f, Him 31m] Boyfriend won't work out and it is starting to affect our relationship…am I asking too much?
POST: I've been with my boyfriend for six years but we have been having problems for the last year. I bring up our issues often and think of ways to work on them but they are all still issues. One of the more important issues is the fact that we have had a semi dead bedroom for the past couple of years. Although I think he is handsome, physical/sexual attraction on my part has faded quite a bit unfortunately. He isn't a large man by any standards but he is very out of shape. He has poor eating habits, smokes too much (imo), and drinks too much. He has developed a pretty substantial "beer belly" since I have known him due to the combination of these habits and his refusal to go to the gym / work out.
I have asked him numerous times to get in better shape, not only for me, but for himself and for our relationship. I personally believe that if we both got in shape it would help our dead bedroom. I even joined the gym myself and started eating healthier with hopes he would join me. He has refused. He says that it's my issue, not his and that he's too lazy to go to the gym. It's just not important to him.
As I said, we have been having quite a few issues. This is the one issue I personally think would be the easiest to fix and he refuses to even make an attempt. Am I in the wrong here? Am I the one with the issues like he is telling me? I have suggested solutions for the other issues we have been having and he refuses to make any efforts either. I'm starting to get very annoyed. This man says he wants to marry me one day and wants to be the father of my children, yet he refuses to even do a simple thing like go to the gym.
TL;DR: | In a long term relationship. Having multiple issues including dead bedroom and I want my S0 to get in shape because I think it would help. He refuses. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: Boyfriend that I've been dating for 6 months goes through my phone and browsing history.
POST: Everything has been going great up until about 3 weeks ago. I always keep my phone under my pillow to wake me up in the morning. Well one night I wake up in the middle of the night, reach for my phone and it's nowhere to be found. I turn on the light, look under the bed, then he wakes up and asks what I'm doing. I say looking for my phone and he hands it to me like it's no big deal. I was too tired to even care at the time. But it was obvious he took it (no real issue but thought he probably went through it). Then fast forward a week. I fall asleep on my couch while we were watching a movie and I wake up to him browsing my history. Again, like it's no big deal. I asked him if he found what he was looking for, and he stupidly responded "oh, I must've hit something wrong and accidentally opened this". yeah, okay. Well I've brought this up since in the last two weeks asking him why he would do that. If there's something he doesn't trust about me or wants to know and he just brushes it off and acts like it's nothing. Now he wonders why I have become distant. I can't help but think this is a red flag of behavior to come. Obsessive, possessive, jealous, controlling. I've never been in a relationship with these problems at a real escalated level. Reddit, please give me some advice. He's a great guy otherwise.
TL;DR: | caught bf looking through my browsing history. asked him why and he brushes it off. Is this a red flag? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Breaking up strategies for me [26 M] to end my 2 year relationship with my SO [30 F]
POST: So I've been with my girlfriend 2 years and things have been fine. No major arguments etc. But after the first 7 or 8 months I gradually lost my physical attraction to her to where now I find reasons not to have sex.
She hasn't done anything wrong but I feel like she has a different lifestyle than me and wants a different lifestyle than me. I love going to the gym, she says she doesn't want to date a meathead. I love hiking/hunting/fishing but I practically had to drag her hiking with me the 1 time we went and hunting/fishing will never happen.
I'm not miserable, but I'm not happy. And she's still the person she was when we first started dating and I do care about her very much but I don't see how things can continue if I can't be in the relationship 100%. She doesn't deserve that from me and I deserve to find someone who will actually go with me to do stuff I enjoy doing.
TL;DR: | are there any ways I can end this thing without making her feel like she did something wrong? I want to minimize the hurt basically. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: [23/m] my [20/f] is lying to me, possibly cheating
POST: to premise.. ive been in a few relationships where ive been emotionally and physically cheated on.
we've been together for 5 months. we spend pretty much every day together but there have been quite a few night recently where she didnt even call me before bed, which is completely not her, she even complains if i make her wait to say goodnight to me on the phone..
a few times while sitting with her, ive seen a guy send her some questionable messages. i asked if he had any feelings for her, but she said hes never been anything but a friend, and that her last boyfriend got suspicious over this and it fucked things up.
so i moved past it..
then i was over at her place tonight. her cat jumped up on her laptop which turned on the screen, and of course her messages with him were open.. i saw the couple lines on the screen.. saying how all he wanted for christmas was her and that he still loves her.
i got pretty pissed so i got in my car. my girlfriend and i argued in the driveway for over an hour.. she claims she only keeps him around because he threatens to kill himself if he loses her as a friend. but if that was the case then why did she tell me the times before that hes only ever been a friend?
eventually her mom comes out, tells me she thought i was better than the other guys she dated and that she would never cheat on me.. but why am i struggling so much to believe?
i just feel like total trash now.. because either im getting cheated on.. or i just accused the girl I love that I'm cheating on her.
I don't really have much of a family, she's pretty much all ive got for emotional support. this is the first time ive had someone to celebrate christmas with since I was 16, and now I just want to crawl into a hole and cry
TL;DR: | this guy is either hooking up with my girlfriend, or threatening to kill himself to keep her in his life. and i blew up about the whole thing |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: [22/m] Should I end my turbulent relationship with my girl [18/f]?
POST: So this girl is stuck between me and her bf [21/m], and she can't make up her mind. Over the last few months we've become very close but I've never been able to trust her, especially since she can't get the courage to break up with her current boyfriend who she admits is doing nothing for her. We recently discussed getting together properly and that she would break up with her boyfriend, but she understood my trust issues. I assured her it wouldn't take much effort to earn my trust, but that I couldn't hand my trust over blindly given the circumstances. She agreed. Then things got hairier, when she started speaking with an old acquaintance of mine, who, lets just say, have our differences. He has a tendency to sleep with most girls he meets, regardless of their current relationship (I realise I'm being a hypocrite here, but he has a reputation for doing it frequently). Her reason for talking to him was that she was "curious" about his "supposed charm", which sent a shiver down my spine. I had asked her to stay away from this guy, which on the one hand would have directed her attention towards him, but on the other hand, actually talking to him made it very hard for my to trust her. I was under the impression that she'd stopped, until I found out they had been texting for the last week. This was the last straw for me, and I told her I was done. Then she started to become very upset and depressed and started medicating on lots of alcohol. I've also recently discovered she'd been made redundant at her job, which can't help her. I'm also good friends with her brother who's telling me she's going through a very hard time right now. I'm supposed to be seeing her tonight and I don't know how to carry this - should I play it safe and look after myself? Or should I understand her issues and try to help her through them, and take the risk that we might actually end up okay? I realise this sounds like an obvious answer, but I'm sure you redditors have had these feelings too, and understand how they can make you blind. Thanks in advance.
TL;DR: | Should I look past all her issues while she's having a hard time, even though they're hurting me, or should I focus on self-preservation and let her go? |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Grandpa passed away two days ago, and left with, "Love is the difference" as his final words. I can't stop thinking about it. Any deep thinkers feel like weighing in?
POST: Not trying to be corny, but it's Father's Day, and I'm feeling a little sentimental.
To start- He was a very cool guy. Smart, caring, giving, funny, etc. Everything a good man should be. He fought in WWII, traveled all over the world, and called his tennis shoes his "kicks" and his Mickey Mouse Timex his "Roley", until his last days. He just died Friday (6/15) at 92 years old.
Point of the post: the last time i was with him, it was just the two of us in his hospital room. He couldn't really speak at that point, (mostly weak indecipherable mumbling) but then, he looked right at me (read: IN MY EYES) with a semi-panicked expression on his face and said, "Love is the difference". He said this over and over, clear as day. I desperately tried to get him to elaborate, but between the painkillers and an overall physical breakdown, he didn't/couldn't explain where that came from or why he was saying it.
I'm hoping the significance (beyond the cutesy obvious) will hit me one day in a glorious epiphany :knock on wood.: But in the meantime, I can't stop thinking about it. And like I said, I know the thread and even the quote are corny ("Love is the Difference" sounds like the title of a Celine Dion song, I'm totally aware of this), but they were the last words of someone who lived on this earth for 92 years. REALLY lived. YOLO style lived. That has to count for something.
Anyway, I know it's a personal thing between me and him, and essentially it's how I interpret it that matters... but i thought it was cool and wanted to share. If anyone would like to take a stab at it, I'd absolutely love to read it.
TL;DR: | Grandpa died on Friday. Our last conversation, he repeated the phrase "Love is the difference" over and over. Interpretations? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: Had a one night stand 8 months ago... never stopped thinking about him, he's suddenly contact me!
POST: So I was thinking about him again last week for some reason unknown to me, and I threw his name into google and his linkedin popped up! So I was perusing and a day later I had a linked in request from him and a message saying hey, and that he had lost my number and it was really good to say hi! All this unsolicited 8 months later.
The problem is that we met while we were in London. He was visiting family, and I live here [London] for University. He's now on the West Coast, USA, and I'm moving back to the East Coast USA come July.
Good news is that I'm working for my family business, so I will be travelling out to the West Coast for business, as well as the UK. We exchanged 4-5 messages on linked in, and I asked him to add me on facebook and I've not heard anything since.
Do I go ahead and add him? I have no idea what he and I would be, but at the very least I'd like to keep a line of friendship because I found him very interesting and genuinely relatable. He seems like a fun guy with a good head on his shoulders so I would like to keep up contact in the least stalker/creepy/overly-attached-ONS way possible. Haha, how does one deal with such things?
Any and all advice welcome of every shape and size welcome!
Help? Advice?
22/f 25/m Relationship: 1 Night
TL;DR: | Thinking about my ONS 8 months later, find his linkedin, he adds me the next day with a message. Exchange some messages, thinking about adding him on facebook, unsure of how to navigate without being creepy? |
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU by thinking an Earthquake just hit.
POST: This actually happened last year, but I was reminded of it today.
I'll set the scene: at the time, I was working in a call center so we all sat on long bangs about 10 across with another bank directly in front facing and one behind, and so on in that fashion.
It was the start of my morning shift in the office and I was sat at my desk trying to find a rich vein of motivation to actually start doing some work. I stared hard at the screen with the usual glazed over, slack jawed facial expression one expects to find on an employee during a weekday in a job with no future prospects.
Suddenly I was snapped from my trance as I felt the very earth beneath me begin to move and shake. My brain was still in the middle of it's boot-up sequence and Living in the UK I could make only one logical conclusion with limited connotative ability: 'EARTHQUAKE!'
I called across to the girl who sat directly in front of me, Lets call her Sarah, "Did you feel that! I think it was an Earthquake!"
Sarah said nothing. Her eyes became wide and bore into my very soul with the intensity of a million white hot sun. "Whats her problem?" I thought, but carried on my line of inquiry with everyone else in ear shot, only to have the same looks, or sometimes facepalms returned.
"I KNOW WHAT I FELT!" I cried, "It was mild, but it was an earthquake!" I looked back to Sarah who now had her head in her hands and was shaking her head. FINE! proof was needed it seemed, so I announced I would prove it and began searching the net for reports of any tectonic moment within the UK.
Sarah came round to my desk and sat down next to me before quietly explaining that yes, I may have just felt the earth move but it had nothing to do with Geology, more Biology.
In my half asleep state, I had failed to notice a rather plump woman walking past my desk, who was now sat at her's crying due to me announcing I had just felt an Earthquake....
I felt like shit for the rest of the day.
TL;DR: | I asked everyone if they felt the the earthquake, when it was actually a rather large woman who I made cry as a result. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Having [17F] dreams about someone other than my BF [19M]?
POST: So I've been dating my boyfriend for almost 2 years now. My biggest fear with him is that when I go to college far from his college, by dating him I'll miss the person I'm "meant to be with". I'm not saying I don't love my boyfriend. I love him a lot but sometimes I question if we are even truly compatible. Anyways, so last night I had a dream about one of his friends. He's a guy that I've never been attracted to or even thought of in that way but he is a good looking guy. In my dream, I was still dating my boyfriend but this other guy was around me a lot and there was the awkward subtle flirting. Eventually everyone in my dream was saying they could see what was going on and that we should go for it. Even though in my dream I was still together with my boyfriend. The rest of my dream went by like this, a lot of flirting with the new guy and trying to decide if it was time to break up with BF. The part of the dream that stood out the most was how good it felt to be chased after and the excitement of a new romance. My BF is my first boyfriend, first kiss, first everything and I love him and love spending time with him. But a lot of times I have these guilty feelings that maybe there is someone out there even better suited for me. Any advice on the dream? Do you think it's a the grass is always greener situation? Should I even mention this to my boyfriend?
TL;DR: | Having nonsexual dreams about a budding romance with someone who's not my boyfriend. Does this say something about my relationship or is it an insignificant result of my subconscious? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: I think my friends is trying to cock-block me in the worst way possible.
POST: I've been chatting up this girl i met from an internship for around a month now, and I mentioned her, in conversation, to a few of my friends from school. I think this may have been a mistake however as two of them have told me of how prudish this girl can be, however this is beside the point. Recently two of the friends that i had told went to a party where the girl that i like coincidentally was, and apparently one of them started "flirting" (this according to the second friend just standing there watching") with her. I had sent a text to the shady bastard earlier today about some shit his brother owed me, but he hadn't even mentioned meeting her; the only reason i know that anything went down at all is by my reading of a text from the second friend. This person has been a massive cock-blocking thorn in my side before, so i want advice on how i should go about the situation. What i actually know about what went down is strung upon the perception of the second friend, and the fact that when i had texted the friend at fault earlier before, he hadn't mentioned anything about meeting the girl. This makes it hard for me to decide on whether or not i should confront the kid in the first place, if at all, directly. There is also the possibility that i may just be jumping to conclusions; knowing this person it seems unlikely since this guy's a bit of an ass-hole, and thinks he a player. I have no fear of this kid and can completely beat the hell out of him, and as immature as that sounds it seems to be the only thing that my ass-hole friends respond to.
TL;DR: | I suspect that one of my friends is knowingly trying to get with the girl i like what should i do, confront him directly or just ignore the situation. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Reddit, what is the best joke you've came up with that nobody got?
POST: What is the best joke (or what you thought was) that you've came up with and left in silence?
I was out doing errands today and remembered that I needed some Drain-O, and while I was at the store got some Raspberry Tea mix. As I approached the cashier I realized how odd my purchase was. Made some off-hand comment about it. She replied and I said something along the lines of "Yeah, I'm thirsty and figured I'd try a new mixed drink recipe." And either I am not nearly as funny as I thought or she was really dumb because 0 fucks were given. Not even a smile.
TL;DR: | I bought Drain-O and some iced tea mix and mentioned making a mixed drink out of them, no response from my audience of one |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [17 M] with my [15 F] friend. I'm confused and apprehensive. More details in post
POST: So I've known this girl for almost 2 years now, and its been really weird. She's quirky and we share a lot of interests and stuff, but I mean its just bizarre. We ended up in second year spanish together last year and we didn't know each other, but I ended up sitting next to her and we just kind of hit it off. I wont go into too much detail about her other than the fact that she got into a "relationship" with a dude that was older and lived far away. They lasted a while, but I mean I didn't grasp the whole internet boyfriend idea.
Anyways, I went through the entirety of last school year without feelings for her. She seemed kind of crazy, and at the time she was going through a tough time so I understood her mental instability. Once this school year started, she appeared to mature a bit more and was less crazy. I started to become really attracted to her (mind you this was all during her "boyfriend" shenanigans.) I asked her to homecoming in late october/november somewhere around there, and she said yes.
We went through our date, and I got nothing but mixed signals from her, and she basically told me that she didn't love me, but loved her "boyfriend". I was hurt, but I moved on. I got into another relationship not too long ago, but that chick had negative IQ (smoking hot though). After our mixed date I still sat with her at lunch and we continued to be distanced friends.
Maybe a month ago, she dumped her "boyfriend" and we are back to being pretty close. I think im falling for her again, but she seriously hurt me before. I'm not sure what to think. I feel sort of protective(?) around her, but I dont think thats the proper way to describe it. I get jealous, and I really hate to be that jealous dude especially when we aren't even together. Lately we've been playing computer games together and just talking on skype, nothing too major, but she wants to hang out and go to the mall and stuff. I'm just not sure
TL;DR: | Girl I've known for a while hurt me a while ago, might be falling for her again, not sure. Need some guidance |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I (24F) am very confused about whether my friend (33M) is interested in me romantically. Help!
POST: I've been hanging out with this guy who does the same postgrad course as me for about a month now. It started when I asked him if he wanted to get drinks at some point because I was new to the city and trying to make friends. He suggested we meet up for coffee so we did and ended up spending the afternoon just wandering around and getting to know each other. I then saw him again later that week and he slept over on my couch.
We've been hanging out regularly ever since, most often at his instigation, and we've slept in the same bed as each other twice (although nothing happened). He even introduced me to his parents when they were visiting this past week. We get on really well – he's pretty much my ideal guy – but I am VERY unsure whether he sees me as just a friend or not. I was in a long-term relationship until a few months ago so it's been a long time since I've had any experience of 'dating'. Because of my uncertainty about the whole situation, I think I've been quite reserved with him (possibly a little too reserved) because I didn't want to come on too strong and then discover that he didn't have any romantic interest in me.
He's spending the next month at home over the holiday season and knowing that I wont be able to see him is really frustrating. I'm worried that if he feels the same way about me as I feel about him but assumes that I'm not interested, he might start looking elsewhere. I want to tell him that I'm really attracted to him and that I don't think I can continue to just be his friend but I'm also terrified that I've completely misread the situation and he sees our friendship as entirely platonic. What should I do?
TL;DR: | Been hanging out with an guy on my college course for about a month; I'm really attracted to him but can't tell if he likes me the same way. Looking for advice on how to move forward. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [18] keep on getting jealous when my girlfriend [18] hangs out with other guys.
POST: Hey guys,
My[18] girlfriend [18] have already been together for about a year. She's a really open person, and i'm quite shy and silent. She's really awesome, but there's always one thing that bugs me about her. The thing is that she's too open with everything. For example, she'd talk about sex and the like with other guys, and even play truth or dare (which includes very... sexual stuff, but not cheating on me) with them without me around, or even asking me.
I've already communicated this with her multiple times, but after a couple of days, she goes back to her normal self, and goes about this again. Everytime after this happens I always feel hurt, and I start to get depressed (I had depression when I was around 16-17, and it's recurring)
The reason I haven't posted here earlier is because I always thought I was in the wrong. I still think I do, but this has happened so many times i'm starting to wonder why this is, and I need an outsider's perspective. Another thing that got me to ask here is when we were hanging out today, and a couple of friends joined us. I left to get something, but when I come back, I find out they're watching The Girl Next Door (I think that's what it's called, not sure, but it has a lot nudity). I was fine with it, because I know we all watch movies and such. However, when we were watching, she started to put her arm around her other guy friend, who's also my friend. I didn't know at first, but later I saw it. Later on, she was kinda holding his hand in an awkward way, and she justified this with her being cold. Today's temperature was 28 degrees celsius. Anyways, I had to go then... and I just left without even saying goodbye.
I just want to know if I'm in the wrong here and just being a jerk, and if it is me who's being overly jealous of her hanging out like that. Any and all comments will be appreciated.
TL;DR: | My girlfriend keeps on doing things with other guys and to other guys that I feel aren't really appropriate. Communicated this many times, but it keeps happening Am I in the wrong and being a jerk? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My [mid 20sM] girlfriend's [mid 20sF] mother thinks I'm not tall enough and not good-looking enough, keeps urging her to break up with me.
POST: I have been with my girlfriend for a little over three years and have known her half my life, we love each other very much. However, nothing I do ever seems to please her mother. I have worked hard to get good marks and even earn a job in a reputable company just to impress her family, but her mother seems to always come back to the fact that I'm not physically attractive enough for her daughter, and is obsessed with the fact that she won't have "pretty grandchildren".
It is extremely annoying and is driving a wedge in our relationship, even though my girlfriend recognizes the fact that her mother's demands are ridiculous. My girlfriend is very close to her family and doesn't wish for the rift between me and her mother to rock the boat. What do I even do in this situation?'
TL;DR: | Girlfriend's mother tells her to break up with me everyday because I'm not good looking and not as tall as she wants me to be. How do you reason with the unreasonable?! |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Am I (M24) being paranoid or is she (24) acting strangely.
POST: We've been dating for 8 years. So I don't know if this is just me being a little paranoid or if I am in the right here. My girlfriend started working at a new job about 5 months ago where she ran into an old male friend who now works with her. At first they just talked a bit, than it turned into a daily visit to each other at the end of the day, than they started texting and facebooking each other. She occasionally would come home with gifts he had given her, nothing big, just small stuff. It got to the point where people where they work thought they were dating.
So this all made me a little uncomfortable and then about 2 months ago, I was using her phone to text some friends to go out for dinner when I saw he had sent her a text. I opened the texts they had exchanged together (I know I shouldn't have) and in there was info about how they had gone out to lunch together. She had never told me they were going out to lunch or anything. (It was on a day she had off, so it wasn't a work lunch or something of the sort)
This led up to me being too uncomfortable with it and I brought up the subject, she just kind of wrote it off at first and then after about 5 minutes of discussing it gave me a "Fine, I just wont hang out with guys anymore" snappy response. Since I brought it up they went from texting each other daily, to no noticeable communication at all. So now I am wondering if they stopped talking, or moved it to somewhere I don't know about.
Sorry if this is written terribly. I'm not known for my strong writing skills.
Reddit, am I being paranoid or is this something I should be worried about.
TL;DR: | Girlfriend gets close with co-worker, goes out with him without me knowing, than gets snappy when its brought up. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My [20F] new roommate [18F] has bulimia and throws up everywhere. What to do?
POST: So I [20F] live in University housing, in a building comprised of three bedroom apartments. 4 weeks ago I finally transfered out of my old apartment away from my moderately messy old roommates. I was supposed to move in with just Arielle [19F], who is never home because she practically lives with her boyfriend. Me and Arielle are already friends. I find out the day I move in that Kassidy [18F], another random girl, is moving into the third bedroom. I just met her four weeks ago. I'm bummed because I wanted a quiet peaceful apartment, and roommates complicate that, but oh well I have another three months on this lease.
It. Has. Been. Hell. I leave frequently for days at a time to travel, and I come back to a trashed apartment. She consistently trashes the kitchen (food on floors, walls, counters). She has destroyed our plumbing (it's been consistently broken for a month now) with god knows what.
And the icing on the cake? Kass is apparently mentally ill. There has been vomit all over our bathroom, both bathrooms, for days at a time. I have been kind but persistent that she needs to clean it, and it takes her days. We've already had multiple roommate meetings with the RA involved. In Monday's meeting, we agreed she'd move out today to my old apartment if she can't keep it clean... Last night, I found more vomit all over our second shower. One of our mutual friends finally fessed up to me that Kass has bulimia.
I don't have a problem with mentally ill people, but I don't want to live with one. I didn't sign up for this. Vomit is a biohazard and it's always in the kitchen sink or bathroom or shower. She throws up all over the floors and walls and toilet and doesn't clean it. I don't want to get sick because she's mentally sick.
Do I have a leg to stand on to get her out? She said she'd move out if she couldn't keep it clean, and I have little sympathy because a) I don't know her and b) she is making my apartment unlivable.
TL;DR: | got a new, university assigned bulimic roommate. Throws up everywhere. It's gross and I don't want to deal. What do? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Friend [18F] with [18M] 5 Months, loves her boyfriend to death, but is afraid of the relationship setting her back from exploring the world.
POST: Hello, I am making this post for my female friend. She has been in a relationship with this great guy for about 5 months. Now they were best friends for 5 years, and they blend together very well. They're both very understanding of each others feelings, and it's just a fantastic relationship. However, she just graduated High School, and she is going off to university a couple hours away from here. He is not however, and this isn't really the big problem, because they're very strong and can bond in many different ways. Plus, it's only a couple hours away. But my female friend is afraid that she is going to miss something in her life due to relationship holding her back. Now she does love this guy to absolute death, and not only do I believe he's her soulmate, but so does she. But she wants to live freely, and explore the world, live in different countries, try new things and it's she's so conflicted about this, and I really just don't know what to tell her. Both of them are excellent human beings, and good friends of mine. I guess this is a common conflict, but maybe some different inputs would help give perspective. Again, they're literally best friends too. Like they tell each other everything. So, it's not like anything is weak in the relationship, my friend is just conflicted about the whole situation.
TL;DR: | Female friend loves her boyfriend, but is afraid of him holding her back from doing the things she wants to do in her young years. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My wife [24] and I [27] are going on a holiday with friends - 2 of the friends (both single) [F,25 & F,28] have decided to take the double bed - leaving us with 2 single beds - what should we do?
POST: My wife [24] and I [27] are going on a holiday next week to a beach location with 3 friends.
We have been married for 5 months.
2 of our female friends (who happen to be roommates, and single - definitely not dating) have decided to take the double bed together and left us (the couple) with 2 single beds. Their reasoning: because 1 of them organised the booking, and because the room is 'larger' - note that we all pay the same amount in rent.
We have been friends with them for about 1 year.
Do we have a right to feel annoyed?
What should we do?
Our friends are:
- 1 male [23]
- 2 females [25 & 28].
We are staying at a rented apartment. There are 3 rooms. 1 with a large double bed, and 2 with multiple single beds.
One of the women, who did the 'bookings', has decided that her and her friend are getting the double bed. Note: they are single, not dating.
TL;DR: | Two of our single friends have taken the double bed in a hotel, and left us with 2 single beds. We are suprised, and don't know what to do. Please help! |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My BF uses Porn for Jacking off, Can someone explain and dissipate my fears? (repost from r/askreddit)
POST: My BF and I have been together for a little over 6 months, we used to see each other every day or every other day so having regular sexytimes was not difficult BUT now because of work, school, needing money and busyness we see each other twice a week. Kinda cut down in a BIG way on the sexytimes.
Now I have ZERO problem with him jacking off... but for some reason when he told me uses porn to get off it kinda scared me a little.
Reasons being
1. Obvi, Him getting off from another girl feels in some ways a little bit like cheating.
2. Porn addiction... How common and easily does that happen to people?? I feel like I know a LOT of people that struggle with it.
He told me while doing it he is only ever thinking of doing those things with me... I still just cant shake the icky feeling.
I'm sure most of you can understand the feelings that come along with this.... I am looking for someone to explain this to me so I can understand and hopefully not be quite as irked by it.
TL;DR: | My BF uses porn for his personal sexy times and bothers me, someone please explain so I no longer have fears of it. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [20 M] with my classmate/acquaintance [20 F] 3 months, following a longterm relationship where do i go from here?
POST: So let's start with the basics, I recently split with my girlfriend of 3 years, I left her because I saw that we had different goals in the relationship and weren't going to compromise for each other as we continued our relationship. We were fighting a lot. I had seen this split coming for month or two.
Now that I'm single i'm interested in trying to get to know a girl in my creative writing class who I've done some co editing with before. My biggest issue is I dont know how to try to talk to her as to become better friends (with the idea of seeing if I'd want to start a romantic relationship with her, as I think she's very pretty.)
I'm partly worried im just latching onto the idea of her as a way to try to fill the gap of my old relationship. I just have no idea how to make friends when looking for a relationship, I'm fine with her rejecting me, but I'd rather not make the editing environment really uncomfortable as the semester goes on.
TL;DR: | broke up with a long term girlfriend, now interested in an attractive classmate with similar hobbies, dont know how to talk to people im interested. I Would love some advice |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [22/F] am falling for my good friend [23/M] but I am not sure he's even romantically interested in girls... What should I do?
POST: Backstory: We have known each other for about 2 years, and go to school together (same major). I had actually originally thought he liked me a bit based on subtle cues, but then discovered he was gay (based on indirect information). We have since become very good friends, and were housemates for a few months. We get along really well and have a great friendship, so I would not want to totally fuck up a close friendship because of this situation.
A few months ago he pulled me aside and we had a conversation where he told me he was "a 4.5 on the Kinsey scale". The conversation was cut short, however (someone else came in the room) so although it seemed to be leading somewhere, it never went further than that. I was surprised he brought it up, given how private he is about his love life/sexuality in general... Which in retrospect seems like he brought it up because it was relevant to *me*, specifically... But I am afraid to make that assumption.
I have a couple friends who have directly asked me if I thought he was interested in me, based on how we interact with each other. Honestly if he were straight my answer would be "yes, definitely" but because that's not the case, I don't really know how to deal with this. I've recently begun to have stronger feelings for him, but I would only want to get involved if he were actually romantically interested in me. I am "heteroromantic bisexual", in that I am sexually attracted to both genders but am only ever romantically interested in guys. If he were the same way ("homoromantic bisexual" and only sexually interested, not romantically) I wouldn't want to risk our friendship for some weird FWB situation.
So basically, how do I find out if he is even romantically interested in girls, and if so, proceed without ruining our friendship? I would die of shame if I had just been totally misreading from day 1, and I don't want to sacrifice the friendship we have. But at the same time, I would like for there to be more.
TL;DR: | Starting to have romantic feelings for my friend who is ostensibly gay but has told me he is gay-leaning bi... How to proceed without ruining our friendship? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [28 M] am seeing my ex-gf's [27 F] friend post break up. Advice?
POST: Me[28M] and my ex-gf [27F] dated for 6 years. We hard a few rough patches and breaks. A few months ago she leaves me for another guy. At first I try and convince her to reconsider and that we can work this out. After the conversation she asks for time to consider my words. The next day she sends and email saying "I think its best if we not see each other" and "over time I hope we can be friends" and "This new guy gives her excitement, is really nice"...etc... I call after the email and ask if she's happy. She tells me she is and we have a nice conversation and said goodbye.
Fast forward a few weeks later. I'm at a local pub and run into one of her friends. This friend never liked me and I ask her why. We sit and talk and the friend tells me all the horror stories about me my Ex-gf had told her. I explain my side and bring a little clarity to the situation. Her friend and I talk and drink. She ends up coming home with me. We begin hanging out regularly. Go to shows together.
My ex-gf finds out and calls. She calls me a cheater, spiteful, immature and every name you can call someone. tells me never to contact her again. Between the yelling and "Joe, shut the fuck up or Ill hang the phone up!" and "I hate you so much!" I explain that what Jane and I are doing is our business and its not in spite of her. I apologize and she hangs up.
My question is, if shes so happy with her new guy, the one she left me for, why is this an issue? Why is she not happy for me?
TL;DR: | Girlfriend leaves me for another guy. I begin seeing her friend. She calls me the devil. Why is she mad and should I break it off with her friend? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Help! BFF'S BF is a creeper.
POST: Advice wanted. My (37F) inclination is to do nothing at all, and that is probably what I'm going to do, but just...yuck. So, one of my closest friends (37F) has a boyfriend (45M) whom I do not like at all. I am so tired of the things he says to me (often in front of her) and of how familiar he seems to feel in touching me/making me feel awkward.
Some of the things he has said: he wants to paint me naked (he's an artist), he could love me, if he'd met me before he'd date me. He's picked me up and twirled me around the room (not a big deal, but the look on his face before he picked me up...**creepers**), his hands always end up grazing my breasts or ass when he hugs me, and one night, when he was very, very drunk, he put his hand up my skirt and gave me a look like, "Aren't I naughty. What are you going to do about it?" (I did in fact tell my friend about that--he claimed he has no memory and we all chalked it up to black-out drunkenness.)
This has gone on for 2 1/2 years. I am just so tired of it. I honestly never want to be in the same room, let alone same building with him, again. Am I overreacting? How do I still be friends with this amazing person in my life when I want nothing to do with her sig other? They live together, fyi. Do I dare talk to her, and how can I without ruining our relationship? (I say that knowing that the messenger is usually the one who gets shot.)
TL;DR: | my best friend's boyfriend says/does inappropriate things and I'm tired of it but don't know how to talk to her about it. |
SUBREDDIT: r/Dogtraining
TITLE: Need help house training my 7 months old cavapoo
POST: We adopted our dog (male poodle x prince charles spaniel) when he was 6 months old. We immediately started crate training him as he was not being clean in the house at first.
After 2-3 weeks, things were going well, he was almost always asking for the door to relieve himself outside.
However, recently, he started scratching the door very often, which makes it hard to know if he really wants to do his business or just wants attention. I still take him out most of the times he asks for the door. The problem is that he just wants to play outside most of the time and doesn't relieve himself. He often comes back inside and pees 5-30 minutes after being outside. He basically almost came back to when we got him, he pees/poops inside once a day at least which is really discouraging. Especially on the weekends when he usually stays outside of his crate in his confined room.
Additional info that could help you: I take him out in the morning and usually play with him afterwards (inside) before going to work, he stays in his crate until noon. We take him out at noon and he goes back in his crate until 5pm. I take him out then to relieve himself and later go for a 20-25 minutes walk in the evening. I play with him during 15 minutes during the evening. I then take him out one last time before he goes to sleep in his crate.
Is there anything that I'm doing obviously wrong? I'm quite unsure if we give him too much/not enough attention!
Thanks for your help!
TL;DR: | Dog was doing well at house training but reverted back to old habbit of pooping/peeing inside instead of outside |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: Emotional issues.
POST: I don't want to make this too lengthy, but here goes. I am friends with a guy that I have had a massive crush on since last year. I met him last year in the fall when I was a freshman in college and he was a junior. We became friends and hung out regularly and of course, I became attracted to him. I never knew how he felt about me though, so I never said anything. Fast forward a few months and he tells me when he is drunk that he thinks I'm hot and he wants to hook up with me, etc. I was naturally thrilled but told him I was a virgin. He said we could take it at my pace. So about a week later I end up losing my virginity to him. It was great. We never had sex again, but we are still friends, although by the end of last year I felt he was becoming slightly distant towards me.
Now it is this year, and I see him every day at school. I also still have feelings for him. I should mention now that I'm pretty sure him and one of our mutual friends might start dating and I am devastated at the thought. Even though we are still really good friends, I am really hung up on him and it just feels like a huge blow to me. It sounds ridiculous, but I have cried over it many times. I have never told him how I feel and am scared to since I don't want to make things awkward.
The point of my posting this is not to get advice on how to win him over, but more on how to get over him. It really bothers me and I need to get my focus onto other things. I feel like the only reason I still like him so much is because I lost my virginity to him and I stupidly thought we would date. Help please?
TL;DR: | Head over heels for a friend I lost my virginity to, but he has a thing for another girl. How do I get over him? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [23 M] am thinking of breaking up with my girlfriend [23 F] of six months because of my depression, anxiety, and anger issues... even though I've been seeing a doctor.
POST: I've been seeing a gal I met on OKCupid (it works, people) for about six months now and, just like most relationships, it was the tits starting off. I couldn't get enough of her. She'd lift me out of my funk and we'd go all sorts of places and do things. Lately though, something has changed.
Two years ago I was living in Manama, Bahrain and started seeing a psychologist for anxiety issues. Lo and behold, anxiety's asshole of a sibling depression came along with it. I never got prescribed meds (minus some Ambien to help with sleep here and there) and thought I'd be good. A year later, onboard an aircraft carrier, the anxiety kicked in full-swing again (in the midst of a deployment). Once I was back home (fast forward two years from the start), I started dating my girlfriend and felt like I was on top of the world.
Well, anxiety and depression didn't give a shit and tore me down anyway. It has gotten to a point that I'm stressed so bad about work and school that I flip my shit over minor infractions. Hell, I rolled down my car window and yelled a guy who almost hit my car because he didn't use his turn signal to unleash a flurry of profanities so obscene and loud that people in a building one block down yelled at me to take it easy. Honestly, if the driver of that car would have gotten out to confront me, I would have physically killed him and not felt bad.
Now I'm starting to feel guilty of bring my girlfriend down. I'm not as outgoing as I used to be and I can't find joy anything. Sex seems like a chore. She assures me that I'm not affecting her negatively, but I can't entirely believe that. I don't want to drag her down.
TL;DR: | Shitty mental conditions are impeding my ability to enjoy girlfriend's company (or anything, for that matter). What do? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me[27M] with my[26F] pregnant wife of 8 years are on the on the verge of divorce. Because I couldn't be honest.
POST: This is a throwaway account and my first time every using reddit so sorry in advance. I'm really at my wits end.
So 3 months ago I had to travel out of town for 2 months to go to a special training school for my work. Its for a job thats a pay raise for our family and something that I always wanted to do. The school was difficult and during the course I made alot of friends from my colleges. There were long study groups so we all spent alot of time with each other. I've since graduated and I still keep in contact with a few of my mates.
One of them was a F(35). Considerably attractive and one of the only people who likes to text me regularly. After a week after the school i noticed that we'd been txting alot and it was obviously shady looking. I didn't want to have my wife lose it at me about it so I deleted the messages in bulk. Bad move considering my wife had been already observing me and was checking the billing statement to find out who I was talking to.
We fought about it and I know i was totally in the wrong. I've never stepped out on my wife and hadn't even considered it with this person. So I called her (F35) and let her know that I wouldn't continuing txting. Just not worth it.
Fast forward to now. (F35) came to town unexpectedly and I didn't have the nerve to tell my wife about it. She came to my office for awhile to talk about work and then left. Nothing sensual, all above board. And I deleted the messages. ANNNDDD my wife was still monitoring our statements.
It looks like im cheating with someone when we've never even come close to that point. My wife has left the house and won't talk to me. She's talking STD panels and child support and taking the baby when I haven't cheated. I've never even had any other sexual partner ever.
TL;DR: | I was a coward and instead of being honest hid txts because i believed it would be easier to let it blow over. I want to save our relationship but i can't even talk to her. What should I do? |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Spoiled sister is ruining her own and our lives. How do we get her on a volunteering program to show her what a really hard life is like.
POST: Basically my sister is a nightmare she has spent the last 4 years making our home life miserable, stealing, lying and running up huge debts. Seriously she's spent like 10 grand. We've just found out she's dropped out of uni because she never attended her classes.
We are at our wits end, and it seems like it would be good for her to get out do some volunteering and see the hard side of life seeing as she's had it super easy until now.
So with finances limited reddit I implore you help us! We've all decided (her included) it would be a good learning experience but we don't know where to start. My parents are happy to put in some money but not a fortune, 3 months is the minimum time frame we're happy for her to leave for. Do you have any ideas? Any organisations we could contact? We're open to anything!
She is about to turn 19 and we live in London, UK.
(Also before anyone suggests it she's seen doctors, had more counselling than I want to think about all to no avail. I promise we're not just being cruel)
TL;DR: | Sister = nightmare, my parents are about 10 mins from running away. We want her to do some 3rd world volunterring but we don't know where to start. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: What are your thoughts on crediting people making the gifs we use?
POST: I'm not saying we *should* credit folks. I realize this kind of a frivolous topic and something in my own head, but I just want to have more perspectives to chew on.
I started Macro-ing & posting gifs lately in reply threads pertinent to each discussion. I started getting more replies like "You have made my week" / "I LOL'd. Thanks" It would seem to me this is good for community and judging by upvotes people like it.
As an academic type of dude I realize crediting sources is crucial. Yeah this is Reddit not Oxford but this has piqued my curiousity. Maybe Giffers don't give a crap if they get credit and just be Giffin' for te lulz.
Plus, I can't shake the feeling I'm karma thievin'. These Gif's are awesome. Someone put a boatload of effort into these things. IDK...
**Very loud Noises
TL;DR: | about Neil Tyson, Valve/GabeN, Rage Faces, Kittens, evy tyme, RPG, OAG, Obama, Rampart and Atheism. |
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU by sitting around naked in my room. (NSFW)
POST: (I'm using a throwaway/different account for this, also male btw)
This particular story takes place maybe 18 months to two years ago. During this period of my life I had just discovered how freeing it was to be naked and had been curious to find more about nudism. For a few months I had been getting naked when no one was in the house and just sitting in my room doing the regular stuff like playing video games, listening to music/dancing and sometimes even doing my homework. One day I was adventurous enough to do this particular hobby when my dad was also in the house. Now before I get to the real fuck up, I must say that I wear glasses and take them off before doing my nude activities. Now for the big mistake: My dad was downstairs and I was in my room doing the usual stuff but naked. I was laying on my bed when I heard what I thought was my dad knocking on the door and speaking to me. In my fright I jumped of the bed and as I did so I heard a crunch/crack. My glasses were on the floor and in my haste I stood on them, breaking one of the arms off and almost breaking a lens. I quickly had to scramble to put my clothes on and go rather nervously downstairs to tell my dad what had happened (I had to get them repaired). I didn't tell the truth for obvious reasons and to this day my mum and dad think that I rather stupidly sat on my glasses causing them to break.
TL;DR: | I was naked in my room, I heard my dad call me from downstairs, I stood on and broke my glasses in surprise. |
SUBREDDIT: r/self
TITLE: The-one-that-(might get)-away is leaving because there are no jobs for her here.
POST: I am in a relationship with the love of my life and we are at a cross roads. I have one more year left to finish up my bachelors. She is graduating at the end of this semester. She is passionate about event planning as has already helped organize a very large gala for a nonprofit that raises money for myriad endeavors involving building and funding schools in countries with large illiteracy rates to name just one. She did that during her internship that ends in about a month. The internship is a full day's car/bus ride away from my school's location and the commutes for the short term have been manageable but exhausting and my greatest fear is that she may move even farther away. Either way I am going to be there for her until we can return to a more conventional relationship but she is worried that a ldr would be too stressful to manage during her transition into the real world. My request to you is: Help me find her a job in event planning in and around Pennsylvania. I am searching day and night for any glimmer of hope but this work is unique and not wholly common. Please help me keep the love of my life in my life.
TL;DR: | Girlfriend can't find event planning job in/around Pennsylvania and it may be the death of our relationship. Please help us. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [20 M] just found out my ex-girlfriend [19 F] is having sex with my former professor [28 M] whom I was extremely close to and whose class is where I met most of my friends. She is flying 2000 miles away to have sex with him again and it is all intentionally being hid from me and my friends.
POST: This all started with my ex girlfriend talking about a new person she was talking to who she had dubbed the alias "Adam." We eventually got to the point where she said she plans on flying to Florida (that was lie, turns out it is actually Louisiana) in order to have sex with him. I thought it was strange that she was flying to Florida to have sex with somebody she hadn't even met. So I pressed her for more details...
She was reluctant at first, but eventually agreed after I promised to not try to sabotage or tell anybody that might know him unless I paid her a sum of money for doing so.
Turns out it was my former professor of whom I was extremely close to and whose class I met nearly my entire group of friends. Our professor regularly hung out with us, camped with us, and got high with us. He was someone we all looked up to and continues to be someone we regularly talk to. He brought all of us together as friends.
He had just flown in from Rhode Island to visit us a few weeks ago, and while he was here had sex with her. We only recently broke up, and this breakup has been especially hard on me, so this whole thing was quite the blow to me.
The worst part is, I don't know if I should confront him or tell any of my friends about this. It'll ruin his reputation in their eyes. He has been so influential in all of our lives, I don't want to ruin that for everybody else. I'm really at a loss of what to do. Some part of me wants them to see his true colors, but it also seems really selfish and unlikely to solve anything. I feel so betrayed. And I still have a final tomorrow morning.
Feel free to ask questions.
TL;DR: | Ex-girlfriend is having sex with my former professor. They are intentionally deceiving me and my entire group of friends of which he is very close to. Do I confront my professor or tell anybody? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Owners of condo [M46 M36) are being terrorized by renter neighbor [F 30's]. What can we do?
POST: We're owners/residents of a condo in a metropolitan area of NC. Neighbor/renter moved in about 5 months ago. We tried to make nice.
Early into the "neighbor relationship", the neighbor shows up randomly banging at our door, admits to having symptoms of several mental and physical disorders such as Asperger syndrome, Raynaud's phenomenon; blah blah blah. Whatever.
However... she's (the renter) been doing what sounds like major renovations since she moved in. Serious sanding, hammering, etc. It's an inconvenience to us, but she has legal right to make whatever noise she wishes during noise-ordinance hours, and adheres to those. It's her money; if she wants to refinish every piece of built-in furniture her landlords own, good for her.
The problem we (owners) have is that during the last 2 weeks, the neighbor (renter) has begun to randomly verbally assault us and mutilating outdoor shrubbery that belong to the community. The neighbor seems to have some serious emotional issues which she is targeting at us (closing doors too loudly any time of day, etc) AND THE SHRUBS in comparison to the outrageous noise she makes during "legal" hours.
We obviously know the neighbor is not running at 100%, but are considering contacting her landlord. If I can't find resolve there, we will complain to the Home Owner's Association.
Has anyone out there dealt with an unbalanced neighbor to the point where it interfered with your happiness? What did you do?
TL;DR: | We have a crazy neighbor in the condo next to ours. Have you ever had a nutzo neighbor and what did you do to resolve the situation? |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: How do you deal with your "First Love" being back in your life? ...
POST: Hey Reddit,
Going to use a throwaway but I have a serious dilemma which is slightly frustrating to me. 3-4 years ago, I was at a conference for something or another and ran into this beautiful girl whom I felt instantly in "love" with. It was what I consider to be my true "love at first sight moment". We really hit it off that day (and the following ones... We were inseparable) However, the conference only lasted a week and by the end of it, I'd learned a ton about her and vice-versa. Like all good things, it soon came to an end, and we exchanged phone numbers. Since we were several hours apart, things (obviously) didn't work out and we didn't keep in touch. Turns out, she now goes to my college and we run into each other once or twice a month. Three weeks(ish) ago, she ended up asking if we wanted to go catch a cup of coffee and we just reminisced about our old times. I definitely picked up on some of our old vibes...
The problem is, I'm currently in a relationship with a SO for over a year and everything has been going great. Seems like a dream right? I've never had thoughts about cheating or even doing anything remotely like that. However, ever since I ran back into my "first love" I feel like I have this "regret" that's telling me that she's my first love and that I can't lose her a second time...
Just to clarify: I would NEVER cheat on my SO.
TL;DR: | Met "first love" 3 years ago, long distance didn't work, ran into her again, I'm in a *GOOD* relationship, feel regret about first love... Now what? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Need advice on my relationship of 4 years with my [20F] girlfriend.
POST: My girlfriend of 4 years and I are in a long distance relationship. I love her, but the distance is getting hard for us. We have talked about marriage and future plans which makes this harder.
I have recently started volunteer work at my local horse stable, and there is this girl who I started to talk too. After a short while we were flirting back and forth. And she invited me to her house to watch some movies she had and to show her own personal horse. I told her no at first saying it wouldn't be fair to my girlfriend, but the next week I went over and we talked a lot. Just about random stuff of life and horses.
So the thing is I'm really starting to like this girl but I don't want to hurt my current girlfriends feelings.
TL;DR: | I have a girlfriend of 4 years. Distance is hard on us. I'm starting to fall for another girl. But don't want to hurt my current girlfriends feelings. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: A guy I'm dating was physically assaulted recently. He's had trouble communicating with me. Help!
POST: So I'm a 19 year old male and I met this guy at an event in another state about a month ago. He's the same age as I am. Though we live in different states, he's a great person and I really like him. I think there's a connection between the two of us and I truly believe a relationship is worth pursuing. Yet, an unfortunate roadblock appeared recently.
About two weeks ago, someone physically assaulted him. Though I'm only aware of some of the details, I'm not really sure I should be posting them here just for his own privacy... Not really the point anyhow. Basically, I'm really concerned for him and I'm unsure of what I can do. We've rarely talked over the past few weeks, understandably of course, but I'm frustrated that I'm unable of having a true conversation with him at this point. His phone was stolen during the assault, so all we can communicate through is Facebook...
I've been trying to give him space so he can heal, but I'm frustrated with myself and with the situation. He's such a fantastic person and I'm beginning to care for him a good deal, but this has definitely stalled the progression of our relationship a bit. I'm just a bit unsure of how I can do anything to help and what outlook I should be taking. How do I best help him and how do I give him his own space? What's the line between talking too little and saying way too much?
I've never known of someone I cared about to be abused before, so this is entirely new territory to me. Is there anyone out there who has been in this sort of position before or is a survivor of abuse or assault themselves? I'd love to hear anybody's opinion or ideas, but the perspectives of those who can relate directly would be especially appreciated. Thank you!
TL;DR: | Someone I've been dating for about a month was physically assaulted a couple weeks ago. How do I best help him and how do I give him his own space? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: GF (22/F) bought me (27/M) really thoughtful gifts and I didn't reciprocate. What can I do that will be special?
POST: Basically, we both spent Christmas together since we were stuck far from family. But we weren't super close a that point so I didn't buy her a gift (we hadn't talked about gifts at all). Cue GF buying me what is perhaps the most thoughtful Christmas present I have ever received: A bottle of Macallan Scotch that I'd wanted to buy for months and had probably mentioned off-hand to her. I mean it wasn't the gift itself but that she remembered that one off-hand time I mentioned it to her and then got it for me.
Well....I make reservations for Valentines Day at a nice place. We get there and boom! Present #2: A new Oven Mitt to replace the one at my place she knew was falling apart. And it matches the other one I have. Another super thoughtful gift.
Now, this is my busy time of the year. Like, stupidly, 80 hr/week busy so I haven't had the chance to think about presents, cards or anything. I dropped the ball and didn't get her anything. Out of shame I paid for everything that night.
But I want to do something special for her but I have no idea what. I feel like just randomly getting her flowers (she loves flowers) would feel a bit forced but I don't know what else to do. My birthday is coming up in a couple weeks and despite my insisting she not get me anything, apparently she already has something picked out. :/ Her birthday is a ways off.
The worst thing is that my memory is shit so unlike her I can't remember a single thing besides flowers that she'd want. So I need some help here. What can I get her or do that would make her feel the same warm and fuzzy way she's made me feel with her gifts? Any random holidays or days that I can use as an occasion for a present?
TL;DR: | GF gave me two amazing presents with a third incoming. I have not been able to reciprocate and am lost for ideas. Help me be thoughtful. |
SUBREDDIT: r/dating_advice
TITLE: When is the appropriate time to ask her out? (15/M; Still new to the Dating thing)
POST: Firstly, sorry if wall of text.
Okay, so I'm still in High School where dating isn't really very "real", and I've been crushing on this Freshman girl (14) since school started a few months back (I'm a Sophomore, 15). I have two classes with her, and we tend to talk to each other decently often in those two classes, especially over the past week. I've talked to her off and on since school started, sometimes I'll have a week where we talk a lot and others where not so much. She obviously finds me funny (The only real thing I'd say I have going, although I'm not totally unattractive) and she talks to me of her own accord outside of classes.
Basically, being as young as I am I still don't understand what this whole dating thing is about, and from what I can discern I'm viewing High School dating the wrong way. (A lot of the people that start going out here barely know each other)
After asking a (female) friend of mine about it, she told me to become very good friends before asking her, although I was thinking that just like another week of being friendly would be enough, should I follow my friend's advice (This friend, mind you, has had her last two relationships be boys that she was friends with, and those relationships seemed serious from the start, while I'd rather a slower relationship, and I don't really know if it's just her experience or if it really is the better idea).
I asked this girl to Homecoming earlier in the year, but she rejected me because she was going with friends, specifically one who she hadn't seen in a few months, and I have no idea if she viewed it as a romantic advance or if she just thought I was some dude looking for a date.
So, should I follow my friend's advice or just kinda go for it? And I'm not worried about getting "friendzoned" by the girl, I'm just honestly confused by High School dating. Since most of you are older, what was dating in High School like for you?
TL;DR: | Should I ask out the girl I like now, or should I become really good friends with her, also only being of early High School age? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [24 M] with my ex [22 F] 6 years, she wants to remain friends and hang out still, should I?
POST: So, I made a post yesterday describing my current situation: [Post is here] Please read that to get some context. Basically, my ex has done some shitty stuff to me recently, but I still love and care about her, and I think when she gets over her issues she will have a clearer view on things and our relationship. However, she has told me there is no chance of us getting back together, but I am her best friend and wants to spend time with me and hang out. I want us to work things out together, because the underlying relationship was good, just a lot of stuff came up recently. Should I use this as an opportunity to work things out? I really don't think I could handle seeing her outside of our relationship, but I'm afraid she'll forget about me if I'm not a precense in her life at least a little bit. What should I do? I've done a lot for her all these years, so I feel like this is her trying to keep my love and support while being able to date other guys.
TL;DR: | ex wants to remain friends and hang out after 6 years, but I'm not sure. Any advice is appreciated! |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Male cat urethra obstruction aftercare questions & guilt
POST: Today I took my 4 year old, neutered cat to the vet because he had blood on his 'area' and was acting funny. She explained that his urethra was blocked and his bladder was very large and hard and sent me to an emergency hospital. Due to financial limitations I was unable to have him stay there for the recommended 36-48 hours with a catheter and bag the whole time, opting instead for an outpatient procedure to unblock the urethra and drain the bladder (about $385). Has anyone else been forced to go this route? Did your cat end up ok? Do you have any tips or suggestions for me? They did give me a few medications; an antibiotic, a painkiller, and some kind of relaxant to make urinating easier (and also some special urinary health food to last the weekend). I'm so worried that this treatment isn't good enough because I couldn't afford the $1200 hospitalized treatment. He's being extra cuddly right now and pretty tired, but purrs when I pet him. He has urinated a few times since we've been home, pink urine but I read that's normal. He barely ate any dinner but did drink a little water.
TL;DR: | My cat had a blocked urethra, I could only afford outpatient care and am worried that's not good enough. |
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU by going to a party.
POST: So this actually happened today about 2 hours ago.A buddy of mine is in a fraternity and he wanted us to show us around to his fraternity on what the college calls " thirsty thursday" a.k.a the day parties occur. So here's where the F.U starts, first we had to walk 3 miles to the parties because only he knew how far away the parties where and didn't feel inclined to tell us it was 3 miles away and we coulda just drove there. When we got there people where leaving because people where getting too drunk and clothes were disappearing, if you catch my drift. Well we got to what he called the "circle" because all the frats where on a hill in a circle so well it really names itself. ANYWAY we got to his fraternity and there was no booze to be had, so we played sober beer pong with water in place of beer. Here's where i really FU, i was being friendly and started to learn peoples majors and degrees, well the first/last guy i got was shitfaced drunk. He got on a rant that was over 45 minutes long about how plastic is the way to go in everything from bottles to cars, plastic,plastic,plastic. Well during this conversation i made a game of how many times in this conversation could he do a certain thing that is socially awkward of unacceptable.
* spit on me: 17 times
* poked my chest: 15 times
* Mentioned his hometown: 18 times
* How many times conversation circled:3
* Inches in between us: 3 1/8
* Time Wasted: 45 minutes
* Times he said "Fuck": 47
* Times he said plastic: 56
* Times he referred as himself drunk:16
* Puked on me:1
Took a lot of self control of just rearing back and decking the guy but he was drunk, i understand.
TL;DR: | went to a party, got into a conversation about plastics, lasted 45 mintues with it packed full of awkward/unacceptable social instances and i regret everything. |
SUBREDDIT: r/dating_advice
TITLE: My [20F] Army boyfriend[20M] Wont talk about work & future plans
POST: My boyfriend of almost a year work as a canadian reservist and he works in the office as well as doing training exercises. Before we dated I got to know him better because I wanted to join up as well because I was really interested in it but decided against it once we started dating. Every day he comes home and I ask him how work was and he replies with "fine" and if I ask for specifics and he dosen't elaborate. I would love for him to tell me more about his job and stuff because its so interesting but he doesn't seem to want to talk about it much. Also as far as prospective work stuff he doesn't tell me when he applies for different jobs that would require going across the country for a year. Granted there is a little chance of him actually going i would like to be better in the loop on what his career will do for him because I really could see myself far in the future marrying this man. Also just little things like finding out through friends that hes leaving for 3 weeks in a month and we live together in a shared house so I assumed i would be told of all this jazz.
TL;DR: | So what can I do to get him to open up more about work & future plans? I would love to be told things when he finds out so I can mentally prepare for things and learn more about what he does. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [21 M] with my friend [21 F]. Not sure if she's friendly or wants more
POST: Hello /r/relationships
A friend of mine, who I've known for a few months now has been giving me a lot of confusion about whether or not there's potential for a relationship.
We met when she was going through a tough period with her boyfriend, and I helped her through the challenges, and the eventual breakup. I've always been there for her, and confided in her as I was going through my own breakup, and the problems associated with the work I do.
She came around one night to hang out and study, but we ended up just laying in bed for 7 hours talking about random things. We talked about what was on our minds, and bothering us; and we ended up cuddling together, and spending the night in the same bed. There was no sex or kissing, but we cuddled together. I slept in her arms, and in her boobs (think motorboat style, but sideways); and she cuddled me when I changed positions. We held hands and she didn't mind having my hand on her boob when I was resting / sleeping.
I'm not 100% sure if she's interested in me or not. We talk all the time, and from my perspective it doesn't feel like there's any flirting that goes on? She always tells me how kind I am, how she can always rely on me etc. She said that we would be "really really good friends"; and I'm not sure at all what that means. In terms of texting, she'll end sentences sometimes with a love heart or x's; and she calls me sweetie.
I've got feelings for her, but I also respect the relationship and I'm okay with suppressing those feelings and just being friends if she's ultimately not interested. I'm not sure how I bridge the subject with her without ruining the friendship; and I'm also not sure if I'm even reading any signs correctly.
Any help is greatly greatly appreciated!
TL;DR: | Friend slept over, we cuddled; not sure how to interpret any signs she may/may not be putting out. pls help |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [20 M] with my [21 F] 11 months together, just broke up with my girlfriend, confused about it
POST: Before I begin, just want to point out this is my first post, so things will probably be incorrect or to long also this is my first girlfriend. So about a week ago, my girlfriend (now ex) came down to visit me. We had a distance between us I lived in Hamilton, she lived in Toronto.
So she comes down to visit me last Saturday, I pick her up from the train station and then we went back to my house. Since it was around noon I thought we could go for some lunch and she agreed. Everything seemed fine we went out had a nice lunch and caught up about what we've recently been doing.
Then we go back to my house to watch some Netflix and cuddle like we normally do. At first she wasn't cuddling, I thought she was just cold because shes done it before.
We watched an episode, then the next one starts and then she said "Can we talk?" my heart sank immediately, I had this horrible gut feeling that she wanted to end our relationship. She did.
Her reasoning was because, the distance, school and it felt like she wasn't dating me. (Shes in Pharmacy school so it is a lot of work).
Sure I felt the same that we have lost a bit of the fire but that happens in a distance relationship. Something just doesn't feel right about it to me. I mean we've been dating for 8 months of distance and we were fine her first semester. But I don't know, any thoughts/advice?
TL;DR: | Me and girlfriend broke up last weekend, everything seemed fine then, she just wanted to break up with me, sad, confused, so many emotions. Any thoughts or advice? |
SUBREDDIT: r/Parenting
TITLE: Kids exposed to Leptospiriosis?
POST: Okay, I can't believe I have let it come to this. My husband's grandparents live in filth. I've thought I was just being snobby or neurotic, but now I know I should have kept my son out of that house. I never said much because I really wanted to keep the peace with my in laws. I would just try and get us out if there as soon as possible. I am angry with myself beyond words for this mistake.
We took to their cat to the vet, thinking it had tapeworms. It turns out, he is infected with leptospirosis. A quick google search reveals the nastiness of this infection in humans and animals. The back room my son (5 years) disappeared to for about an hour the other day with an older cousin was filled with feces. As is probably the rest of the house. Apparently, the grandparents lock the cat in that room (they even call it the playroom) and can't clean up after it, so there is just filth everywhere. I had no idea what the conditions were like back there (please don't judge me too harshly--I am mortified and do very ashamed of myself), or I would have probably picked my son up and ran out. I know now that the feces, or any bodily fluids, from an infected animal should be considered as biohazards to health.
My son spent more time than usual at this house this holiday season, and I specifically remember seeing him with a cat toy .
I've been researching, and I am just freaking out more and more as I discover that kids are at the most risk of catching this from household pets. I'm going to call a doctor tomorrow to see what we should do, or if there is anything more we can do but watch for symptoms (which can take up to 4 weeks to manifest).
I am throwing this out there for any advice/information fellow parents might have with this or something similar. Did your kids get it? What did you do and how bad was it? Thanks!
TL;DR: | My 5 year old son was exposed repeatedly, unbeknownst to me, to leptospirosis. What do you know about this? Any advice or information would mean the world to me. |
SUBREDDIT: r/personalfinance
TITLE: About to apply for our first credit card, should I become an authorized user?
POST: Hello everyone,
My husband and I graduated from college in May of this year and have both been fortunate enough to get jobs in our fields pretty much right out of college. My husband took out a few student loans in college, but we've already paid them off. Because of this, he has a credit history; I however, do not.
I never had to take out any loans while in college, never had a credit card, and never have been in any kind of debt. Unfortunately, when it comes to applying for credit cards, I've been turned down in the past because I have no credit history whatsoever.
Now we're trying to apply for our first credit card for either of us, just so we can start building credit history (putting on a small balance and paying it off every month). I was thinking about going through USAA, as we have our insurance through them since his father is in the military. However when going to apply, since his name is the name on the account, there is only an option to put me as an authorized user.
Would this be a good idea since I don't have any credit history? Or should we consider trying out a different card where we can both be the joint account holders? Thanks.
TL;DR: | I've never had credit history, husband and I are applying for our first credit card for either of us, should I become an authorized user or try to become a joint account holder? |
SUBREDDIT: r/personalfinance
TITLE: Can I ask my manager how much money she makes?
POST: I'm not sure if this is the right sub for this question, but I have been working at a very large corporation for the last two years. This was my first fulltime job after college and I would say that I am significantly younger than the majority of employees here. I feel like the experience and particularly the culture have left something to be desired and I am considering a cross-country move and potentially finding a new position at another company.
However, I am currently in a position where I receive a lot of visibility and recognition from those within our operation. I work very closely with a prominent VP and an excellent manager and I have expanded my network quite a lot since I've been at this company. So, I'm considering my options. Do I leave for a potentially more promising and enjoyable position or do I try to use my leverage here to "climb the ladder" and get all that I can here?
To make that decision, I'd really like to learn more about my options should I grow upwards with this company. In particular, I am quite interested in salary options at higher levels. I've tried researching through GlassDoor and similar services, but because the company is so large, the reported salary ranges are huge and I have no way of knowing which operations are being reported on. I know that this is a taboo subject within the corporate world (we're not even allowed to tell our colleagues when we get raises or performance rewards), but would it be out of line to ask my manager what her salary is?
TL;DR: | I work at a large corporation and am considering a move. But, I'd like to learn more about attainable salaries within my current organization. Can I ask my manager how much money she makes? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: I [21/f] directly lied to my boyfriend [24/m] and he doesn't feel like he can trust anything i say anymore. what do i do?
POST: We've been together for just over a year. We've worked really hard for our relationship, have had many fights and broken down our issues with each other to deal with them. He helped me stay in university when I was on the brink of being kicked out. Now, in my final year of study I've picked up a gaming habit that I've confronted him about and promised him I wouldn't touch anymore. Today (instead of doing some crucial study) I procrastinated hard on it, and when he asked me if I played I promised him I didn't. He found out. I feel terrible. What can I do to regain his trust? Will it ever be the same again?
TL;DR: | I promised to him I didn't play video games today, but he found out I did. He doesn't feel like he can trust what I say anymore. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Why Do I [21M] Always Pick Women Who Are Unfaithful?
POST: This is a very broad and controversial post, but I really need advice.
First, a bit about me. I'm 21, handsome, ambitious, driven, and a dreamer. I've already graduated college with a great degree, and already have a job that earns ~$60k a year. I'm honest, upfront, charismatic, and faithful. I don't really go out and get drunk and hit on chicks, as a matter of fact, I don't drink a lot period due to intense dieting for bodybuilding. I'm not physically or mentally abusive, nor am I verbally abusive. I love going out on dates with women i'm with, and I like doing things for my significant other fairly often. I've been with quite a few women, and every single serious relationship has ended with me being cheated on.
Why do I always pick women who cheat on me? I've tried going out of my comfort zone and attempted to date a woman who isn't my type (this past relationship), we both took things slow, didn't have sex for months to build a personal bond and that was a mutual decision. Needless to say, she went on vacation, got drunk at a club, and had sex with some European guy she barely knew.
Inb4 "she was drunk"
She wasn't drugged, nor was she blackout drunk. She was perfectly aware of her actions and what she was doing.
Previous to this, both of my other serious relationships ended with me being cheated on with my girlfriend's best friend. Yes, both times.
Why? What is a logical explanation for why i'm being cheated on in every serious relationship i'm in?
TL;DR: | every serious relationship i've been in has ended in me being cheated on despite me being a faithful and the farthest thing from abusive even when I date chicks who aren't my type. Why? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I (17F) bought a winter coat I liked. I was shocked to find out it was the same as the girl (18F) my LT boyfriend (18M) cheated on me with years ago. This isn't just about a coat.
POST: I'm sorry if this doesn't really go with this sub, but I have no idea where else to put it. My boyfriend and I have been together for a little over 4 years now, and back in year one, he cheated on me (for a while) with this girl. We broke up, and a couple months later, I took him back and made him promise not to talk to her again. He complied.
Fast forward a few months, and I catch him talking to her again. This keeps happening once and a while (and I'd yell at him and he'd promise not to do it again) until last year. Our relationship is going well, with no problems. Then, I find a single message from her *on our anniversary* on his phone, and I explode. We're on a serious break right now until I can think straight. The girl has known about our relationship the whole time. She never backs off.
So I needed a new winter coat this year, and decided to buy a nice one that I could afford, and that I loved. I got it in the mail, and tried it on...and realized that it's the same coat that girl has, in a different color. I really liked that coat...but now all I see is that girl.
Right after I found out about the cheating the first time, I went through a period where I would constantly compare myself to her, and try to be like her. This coat is bringing back all of those old feelings. I need help.
TL;DR: | Boyfriend cheated several times, and my new coat is the same as the other woman's, in a different color. Bringing back old, terrible feelings. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My [23 F] boyfriend [26 M] of six months struggles with a porn addiction. Could use some advice.
POST: Me and my boyfriend have been together six months, the longest relationship I have been in. He is one of the coolest guys I've met, we are very compatible it most aspects like sex, humor, beliefs etc.
I come from some family money and have three years left of school to become a dentist. My boyfriend comes from a family that has definitely struggled and continues to financially, he's going to school but wants to pursue acting. He is a very attractive man, he gets stopped often just to be told that and he has the confidence to show ir. Money has never been a priority in a partner for me as long as he has ambitions and is a hard worker.
He does suffer from a porn addiction which he is very open about. It's caused some arguments but we have moved paseed them. He watches it much less now.
But we just got back from a family trip my parents paid for. I caught him watching porn in our room when he said he was going to take a nap but he didn't think I caught on. We both played it off like nothing happened. I know I should've confronted him then. In the past, I have used his computer and he has been looking at certain girls on facebook, including my friends, me and some very attractive girls he must go to school with. I'm not really sure why, maybe the same reason as porn but just to a lesser extent. Again, I've never brought it up and I know I should. I know he would never cheat on me.
I've never been in a serious relationship before so I don't know if this is something I should confront or how to do it?
TL;DR: | I don't know much about porn addictions I'm just scared he could be using me for money and uses porn as a way to get by. |
SUBREDDIT: r/BreakUps
TITLE: My girlfriend left me for another guy, I'm feeling worthless, stupid, and depressed what can I do?
POST: My girlfriend (20) just left me (19) for another guy(25). This was one of those scenarios where there was one of her guy friends that I was kind of suspicious of but didn't really push the matter because she has so few friends. All of my future plans involved her, if I had the money I would have asked her to marry me. I tried so hard to make things work and now my future is ruined. How do I move on when my idea of the future and a lot of my past and how I see myself is tied up with her.
TL;DR: | My girlfriend of 5 years left me for another guy. how can I manage the memory of past and rebuild what I wanted in the future? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Endlessly frustrated with the gf and her general apathy... need help.
POST: I am a 24/m dating a 21/f. We have been together on and off for about 3 years now and are finally getting serious and settling down in the relationship. Recently she's been exhibiting signs of Hodgkins Lymphoma and it's freaking her out bad. She's been in and out of hospitals her whole life for many different things, but this is a whole new level of bad. She has been doing nothing about it and it's been increasingly frustrating for me.
This isn't the only example.
She's been having stomach problems, and finally after a trip to the ER, she decided to go see a specialist and have a procedure done. She has 2 best friends who regularly fuck her over on nights out. Whether it be getting way too drunk, being mooches or straight up leaving her.
I try and get her to go out and socialize with me and meet some of my friends, who for the most part are caring and interesting and decent people. She dislikes most of them either for superficial flaws or perceived slights against her, and she'll do nothing to try and reconcile any of it.
This also extends into our sex life, which is basically non-existent, now. She told me she thinks I bring her down when I try to make her face what she has to deal with. I try to be sensitive, but I care so much that it borderline drives me insane.
I hate apathy almost as much as I hate willful ignorance and she seems to exhibit both. She's a sweet girl, she just doesn't give a fuck about anything.
What should I do?
TL;DR: | I care so much for this girl that I can't let her waste away, but she insists on doing nothing but and I need advice. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I'm fifteen and I've had a crush on a 16 year old for almost two years now, but about 3 months ago something happened and I thought I was done but I guess not
POST: I've liked this girl (let's call her Jessica) for nearly two years and I figured eh it's just a crush it'll go away in a month, but it never did.
And three months ago we were at a town fair, Jessica, another guy (let's call him bob) who also liked her, and I. We hung out for a good four to five hours before and everything was going fine and dandy. But then bob told me that a little while back she had asked him to get rid of me, and I believed him because we were friends.
So I said screw it if I'm not wanted I'll leave, and since then we haven't talked, well up until two days ago. At that point I had figured ok, for sure done liking her, but over the past few days of band camp I've realized that I still like her, if anything, more then before.
At this point I know that I won't be able to have a chance with her for a long time and not at all if we never become friends again. So I've been considering apologizing, I could say that I over reacted that I shouldn't have said what I said.
And I'd never consider this unless I legitimately wanted to be friends again, I miss her company.
Anyone have any advice? Should I or should I not?
TL;DR: | I've liked a girl for 2 years she did something, we haven't talked for 3 months, thought I didn't like here, I do, I want to apologize to become friends again. Do I or do I not? |
SUBREDDIT: r/weddingplanning
TITLE: Site Coordinator Rant
POST: Hi guys! So I'm planning a destination wedding (may 27, 2017) on a tiny island in the Bahamas. I'm getting pretty frustrated with the responsiveness and general lack of solid information from our site coordinator. She is the GM of the resort.
Two weeks ago I told her that I would like to move forward with securing the date, signing a contract, and putting down the deposit. I followed up with her five days later as I hadn't heard anything. She responded and said she would send me a contract. 7 days later and she still hasn't sent anything. I'm getting really annoyed. I need to secure the date and everything so I can order save-the-dates! UGH.
I understand "island time," but when I'm planning to spend thousands of dollars at a business I expect prompt and professional service.
I'm really trying not to get crazy, but do you guys think her response time is totally unreasonable? I'd like to send her an email to ask if there is someone else I can work with or if she can try to answer my questions in a timely manner, but I don't want to piss her off.
TL;DR: | Site coordinator takes forever to respond. Don't know if I'm being unreasonable. Should I call her out in a nicely worded email? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Should I [23 M] move on [19 F] her
POST: *
TL;DR: | Told a girl I liked her and asked her out, she said yes. She is quieter around me now than before. Is talking to her about it a terrible idea? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Just ate dinner with my gf's family. Introduced as her "friend," not sure how to take that...
POST: So I've been dating my gf for just over a year. We're both 24, she's white, I'm black, and her family is totally cool with interracial relationships. I've hung out with her immediate family multiple times and we always get along- no problems there.
Just today, I join my gf and her family for Easter dinner. While being introduced to the grandma, gf's mother says "this is my daughter's friend..." Then again I am introduced to their priest (who happened to be joining us for the meal) as the "friend."
We've been together for a year, everything and everyone has been nice and accepting, and then this happens. Am I over-analyzing this, or is this something I should take as a warning sign? If we had only been dating for a month I could see something like this happening, but a year...
What, if anything, should I do? How should I take this?
TL;DR: | Was introduced to girlfriend's grandma and priest as her "friend" after dating for a year, not sure how to take it. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Other woman[23F] with married man [30M] with secret affair - but why does he keep risking it?
POST: Cheating for over a year with a married man both with lots to lose. We both know it needs to stop but keep indulging. Sometimes I have doubts about if I want it to end because of the thrill.
I know there are multiple people who are going to be hurt if it continues.
For those men in this situation - why did you continue to do it? Did you fantasize about your mistress a lot, or were you able to separate your 'normal' life (making it easier to turn off the guilt)? Is it just the sex? Is it up to me to end it?
TL;DR: | In a secret affair. Need to understand why he keeps doing it, and what it will take for him to want to really end it? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I (21F) am crazy into this guy (24M) who I've been hooking up with. advice please??
POST: So I'm pretty good friends with this guy and I've always thought he was extremely attractive. We have both just recently become single in the last 3 months(after 3+ yrs each) so we have been talking and hanging out a lot. Anyways, we are both gamers so we started hanging out to play video games, watch anime, smoke, drink.
We ended up hooking up and it just kind of happens when it happens now. This has been going on for a couple weeks now. Being around him is super fun and I feel like I can actually be myself! I've obviously caught feelings for him though and it sucks because I don't know if he feels quite the same way, we haven't really talked about it because I'm too scared and won't bring it up but mainly I don't know how to? I'm not looking to jump into a relationship atm and I'm sure he isn't either, but I don't know what to do?
Should I tell him how I feel and risk making things awkward (which I don't think would happen anyways but idk) or do I just kind of keep my feelings bottled up a bit longer to give us both more time? I really don't want to be weird or make things weird. Help meeeeee. Any suggestions or advice are much appreciated!
TL;DR: | I(21F) have been hooking up with this guy(24m) and have caught feelings for him. Do i tell him or no? |
SUBREDDIT: r/legaladvice
TITLE: Damage, repairs, and liability
POST: Location: Montgomery Co., Maryland, USA
Background:
My girlfriend (now wife) moved into an apartment in June, 2013. It is
the basement of a house in a very nice neighborhood. The owners live upstairs. The apartment has a separate entrance, and we do not typically interact with the landlord/lady at all.
While getting adjusted to the new place, our dog tore up the carpet at the front door.
Instead of replacing the carpet, the landlord chose to install tile to create a faux foyer at the door. On several occasions he stated that we would not incur any cost from this work due to: it was not a replacement, it was something they had been wanting to do, it was an upgrade.
His carpenter put in tile and metal flashing at the junction of the tile and carpet. While screwing in the metal flashing, a screw caught on the carpet and ripped a 2 ft seam extending away from the door; this happened on both sides of the door.
The carpenter came back and patched the carpet that was ripped, but, since it's very low-pile, it doesn't hide the seams of the patch. Landlady was very upset with the work. The carpenter offered to replace the carpet, as it was his mistake. Landlady declined. The landlords decided to then re-carpet the entire room (10ft x 15ft) at the cost of $695.
Problem:
Landlord is billing us for the cost to replace and install the carpet. The repair will happen when we vacate the apartment (lease ends June, 2015). The payment is not to come from the security deposit, but will be a single charge that must be paid within 60 days.
Landlord claims we are still paying for the destruction caused by our dog. I think this is bollocks, since that damage was remedied by installing tile. I expect to pay for something, but I do not intend on getting robbed for shitty carpet.
TL;DR: | Dog tore up carpet. While fixing that, carpenter screwed up existing, good carpet. Now I'm getting billed for re-carpeting the entire room. |
SUBREDDIT: r/offmychest
TITLE: I've lost faith in my writing abilities. Why? Because I cannot, for the life of me, take constructive criticism. I really can't.
POST: I'm in a workshop-based creative nonfiction class and I went today, as in, my work was assigned and the class read it and discussed it today. My teacher always starts off with, "What did you like? What did you think was effective?" While the comments then were nice, all I can ever focus on is the part of workshop where people talk about whatever, where they talk about what I did wrong or what I could've done better or opportunities I could have taken advantage of to make the piece stronger. Oh my fucking God, I can't take it. They point things out and I know I'm supposed to think, "Oh, that's awesome, thanks for giving me that idea!", but instead, I think, "Fuck, why didn't I think of that when I was writing my piece? Now I look like a goddamn fool." It doesn't help that the guy we reviewed after me did such a damn good job (which was essentially the consensus of the class, myself included; one person even complimented him on how "professional" his essay was written).
Christ, I thought I was at least a decent writer. I knew I had more to learn, but damn, I can't even write a good nonfiction essay. I wish I could take constructive criticism without making myself feel inadequate. Maybe I could actually learn from my mistakes. Instead, I just feel like shit a lot of the time.
All faith in myself is crushed right now. In addition, I have so much work to do for my other classes that I can't afford to break down now, but I have. I can't handle this right now.
Who was I to think I could be a good writer?
TL;DR: | Had a creative nonfiction workshop class today, class read my essay, feel like I'm not a good enough writer because I only focus on the "critical" feedback and what I could've done better. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: I'm a smart guy, but back in college, I was immature and lazy and only got a 3.2 GPA. I graduated in 2008 with a BS. I'd like to get my PhD now. Am I doomed?
POST: So I graduated in 2008 with a BS in Computer Science and a minor in history. Today, I'm working as a software developer with a large firm; before that, I co-founded a startup that failed, and before that (while attending school), I worked as a developer at a smaller company. I have some open-source work under my belt too.
I want to do something more with my life. I'd like to return to academia and get my doctorate, either in economics or biology, both of which are subjects that utterly fascinate me. I'm a smart guy, and I'm confident I could earn great GRE scores after I brush up on what I've forgotten since leaving school.
The only problem is that my undergraduate transcripts are dismal. I transferred from a relatively prestigious private school to a state school; there, I stayed in extra year because it was inexpensive and I wanted to take some electives I found interesting. I was lazy and immature, and I earned only a 3.2 GPA.
Today, I'm much more impassioned, responsible, and hard-working, and I'm confident I'd get a 4.0 if I did it all over again. But I can't. I've been... afraid of applying to graduate school because my undergraduate transcripts are less than stellar. Is there any way I can get into a decent graduate program now?
TL;DR: | I'm smart, but my grades sucked because I was lazy. I have a cushy job writing code now, but I want to go back to school. Is it possible? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I'm [21/f] scared I'm losing hope in relationships?
POST: I've been in 2 long relationships. One was mindblowingly passionate and emotionally charged - I felt more "in love" than I ever have. BUT he treated me terribly and was emotionally abusive, so we broke up for good reason. The other relationship was the opposite, very safe and trustworthy, but lacked any level or passion, emotion, or feelings that the first one did, and I did not feel as in love with him as I know I should.
Now, I'm single and completely alone and working on myself, but I can't help but feel insecure or cynical about relationships. I'm scared there is no such thing as being treated well while also feeling intensely "in love" with someone. No guys I'm interested in will hit on me, and I always dwell on my past and my fear of being alone forever, or having to always choose between either passion or safety. Idk what to do?
TL;DR: | I don't know how to be open-minded to relationships without being jaded about the entire process now that i have been either heartbroken or not as into the person as I'd like to be |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: Girlfriend and I split up. How can we continue talking as "friends" without actually being interested in each other?
POST: So, me and now ex have split up after about 5-6 months. (Yes I know, it's short). Most of the time on a day to day basis we were always together. To get to my question though, Is it a great idea to move forward as mutual friends? And how if possible. She wants to, but is afraid that if other people come into our lives it'll be all bad. I just need some advice rn. I'd like to believe that if we stay as friends later in like 5 years or whatever we could get back together, but that's the problem. She wants it to come naturally, which is very true and understanding. I would want the same. But anyways... Thanks in advance!
TL;DR: | girlfriend and I split up. Can we continue talking as mutual friends and how? Or what should I do to not lose talking to her as a person. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [20M] broke up with my [19F] girlfriend and I feel awful about it. Was it the right thing to do?
POST: We had been together for 8 months and during this time we had our fair share of fights, mostly brought on by her being a VERY emotion person. She would over react or take a lot of what I said the wrong way and after a while it was taking a toll on us. Eventually I got sick of constantly babysitting her emotions and things went on the decline.
We had a long conversation today and yesterday and I told her that I wasn't ready for something that seemed like it was going to be so long term. I felt that it wasn't the right time for it for either of us to be together seeing as how we're both young and eventually will want different things.
I feel terrible for what happened and like I could have saved us a lot of heart ache by figuring this out earlier and not letting it go this far down the track. Was it the right thing to do?
TL;DR: | Broke up with my girlfriend because I thought it was getting too serious and I was tired of baby sitting her emotions. Was it the right thing to do? |
SUBREDDIT: r/offmychest
TITLE: I don't mind the fact that my wife is having a scheduled C-section but partly for selfish reasons.
POST: My wife is soon having our second child. I am thrilled and excited. She is a wonderful mother, a wonderful wife. She is more then I deserve. Our first child came via an emergency C-section after hours of painful, fully-dialated labor. It was a horrible experience for her and our baby... and me. Our first daughter became stuck and was beginning to lose oxygen. My wife has a small frame... I don't know what the reason was exactly but her head became lodged and the placenta was pinched. I am glad we won't be worrying about it, provided our second daughter can wait the few short weeks to the scheduled date.
I am glad for the C-section because of the legitimate safety and health reasons... but also because her lady parts won't be so stretched out from our football sized daughter. She was fully-dialated but our first never made it through, there was no ripping or tearing.
I have read that it goes back to shape after a long enough time but I feel like that is said for women's benefit by male doctors. Some women I have spoken to about it said it is never the same down there. They go on and make comments about the size of it. I have heard men agree underneath their breath. I mean, isn't this mainly why vaginal rejuvenation is a thing? Because childbirth so stretched out the vaginal walls? If that procedure only existed for the out of shape, and maybe the sexually exploritive I feel like it wouldn't be nearly as common.
Anyway, I am glad I don't have to find out and her cute little feminine parts will stay little... and cute.
TL;DR: | I am happy we have a scheduled C-section for preventing legitimate health concerns but also because my wife's lady parts will stay cute and small. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [24M] am having a hard time accepting the fact that my GF [23F] of 2 years is going to study abroad for half a year.
POST: As the title explains, my GF is leaving the country within a week for half a year. (A 12 hour flight) Not a completely unfamiliar situation for a lot of people I think. Next to the normal insecurities associated with this (cheating, staying in touch and all), I don't have any affection with the country she is going to.. But she asked me if I would come and visit her half-way through, I said yes of course because 2.5 months is a lot more bearable than 5!
Currently however I'm having a lot of stress on my job and my school (which I'm following in the evening). I'm also having money problems because of this. This kind of pressure is making me feel very uncomfortable knowing the fact that she will be gone within a week and is not here to support me. While she is packing stuff and telling me how excited she is for her journey I really try to be happy for her but I just can not seem to chill out knowing that she is going to a holiday-kind environment and I am struggling with myself here.
As told before I don't really like the country where she is going, the only reason I will go there within 3 months is because of her. But to go there I will have to borrow money from my parents because of the school bills and that is something I'm not conformable with too. I kinda feel 'forced' in this vacation even if it's for her. This last week all these issues including my insecurities of her cheating there (which don't make ANY sense at ALL since she would never do that) are putting some stress on the relationship. She asked me today if I'm even happy for her that she is going to another country. I wanted to say yes but actually I'm not. I kinda feel like she's leaving me in a mess while she's having fun. This makes no sense at all, I want to be happy for her but I just feel 'lost'. How can I change these thoughts? Am I being selfish?
TL;DR: | GF of 2 years is leaving the country for half a year. I'm facing money issues to visit her in a country I don't even like and I'm a mental mess. How can I be happy for her? |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Do you have an idea for an EE master's thesis?
POST: I'm currently in a bit of a problematic situation. We had to submit or choice for master's thesis. I got my hands on a subject related to NMR imaging. Sadly my promoter / advisor came down with a bad case of not responding to emails. But considering it was during the exams I decided to wait, most professors simply don't respond to emails during the exams. Today I decided to inquire about the situation and it turns out he's most likely sick for a couple of months. Now this wouldn't be a problem if there was somebody else who actually had any idea about the subject of my thesis. Sadly it turns out that there are very few people on this planet who are even doing research into the specific subject. Due to the complexity of the task at hand it's impossible to continue even with the help of other professors and assistants.
I got several other suggestions, but sadly none of them are of a very high level and are actually rather easy. While this might sound like a dream for a lot of people for me it isn't. These subjects would never pass under normal conditions cause they're too easy, and I really can't accept them as I wish to apply to a Ph.D. program after I finished my master's degree. And who is going to accept somebody into their Ph.D. program that did a master's thesis on microcontroller development boards? (I sure as hell wouldn't.)
So my choices currently are:
1) Take something from the list of easy boring subjects that doesn't interest me at all combined with ruining my career chances.
2) Go for an ICT subject.
3) Purpose my own idea.
The only acceptable option for me seems to be purposing my own idea. But there is a little problem with that, I have until Thursday to submit my idea it seems. I normally wouldn't ask other people to help me with this but I really don't have time due to the exams.
TL;DR: | I'm an electronic engineering student and my master's thesis subject got cancelled and I need to come up with a new subject that has some academic value. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: How should I (17/f) get out of going to a wedding next week with my parents.
POST: So from August 7th to August 9th one of my aunts having her wedding ceremony, shes already been married since Febuary of this year they're just having the ceremony. The trip is a 4 hour drive from where I live.
I really just don't want to go its going to take up my friday,saturday, and sunday. I also have work on that friday and I'd have to ask for time off.
I've never been close to this aunt and her husband and her just bug me. I think I could handle staying home alone for 3 days. Alot of my familys going to be there and this has been planned for about a year but whenever it was brought up by my parents I'd say I don't want to go. My parents and my sister are all going together and my sister still lives in the house at 21. I feel like if she didn't want to go they wouldn't force her but if I try they'll try to force me and I'm almost an adult I don't want them to force me to do stuff.
So I'm pretty much asking whats the best way to go about getting the privlidge to stay home from a family event. If theres any questions about the situation I'll answer.
TL;DR: | Don't want to attend my aunt's wedding. How should I get my parents to let me skip it? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Girl (18F) not responding to a conversation with me (21M) that she started for no reason. What could she be thinking?
POST: The other day i bumped into a girl who I have had been on and off messaging for a while. Long story short we talked for 10 mins and I asked her to coffee the next day. She said yes.
The next day she had a family emergency (legitimately i am lead to believe) so could not make it. she messaged me saying she was super sorry and she was at the hospital. I said don't worry there's always next time. She said she "hopes so!". The thing is she lives at college a few hours away and left to go back to college the next day (she told me she was leaving on this day when i ran into her).
I asked her if she could meet up the next day before she left but she didnt respond so i thought she must not have wanted to meet up that badly.
Then, after 5 days of no contact she messaged me asking me how i am? I waited a few hours and said i was "good blah blah you?". She said she was busy with homework etc. I replied with something like "yeah im hating life too haha, I havent done much of my work either".
Now its been 2-3 days and she hasn't replied but has read the message. Surely she wouldn't message me asking how i am just to tell me she was busy with schoolwork and then not reply? That makes no sense.
TL;DR: | Crush started a conversation with me for no reason (good sign I think) but now is not replying after only two pretty pointless short messages from her. What givessss?? :) |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: When Should I (28F) Tell the Guy (32M) I'm Dating That my Brother is a Convicted Pedophile?
POST: Throwaway account because, well, do I need to explain?
First, some history on my brother. He was convicted of viewing and downloading child porn 5 years ago in 2012. He served 6 months in prison, got out for a month and then was re-arrested because he groped a poor 13 year old (and got caught thank God). He came out 6 months later and, as far as the family knows, hasn't reoffended. However, my dad and I have recently discovered that he does secretly watch Dance Moms on TV. Let's put it this way, he's hasn't shown a previous interest in dance or reality drama.
Now for me. I've been dating this really great guy for about 3 months now. I'm totally digging on him, he's great, want to keep seeing him. My issue is that my instinct is that having a pedo for a brother is something I should reveal sooner rather than later, but I'm also wondering if it's necessary at this point. I mean, I'm pretty sure my guy likes me back, but it has only been 3 months. I guess I'm just super wary of getting further down the road with him, like a year's time when we're more serious, and when I do tell him he's upset I didn't let him know sooner.
So, good people of reddit, I ask if it were you, would you want to know such a thing so soon? Or would you be happy if you were only told when things got more serious in the relationship?
TL;DR: | brother is convicted pedo who still has tendencies towards ogling young girls; do I tell the guy I've been dating for 3 months yet? |
SUBREDDIT: r/self
TITLE: Should I delete Facebook? (I apologize for this question)
POST: I'm sorry, I know...Facebook, but I'm at a crossroads and am unsure how to proceed. I don't spend time on it AT ALL, I don't even have a picture and from what I see the people don't post the stupid things Reddit makes fun of it for, and I have a lot of old friends on there and it's the only way of contacting them. So it serves as a kind of contacts log for me. At the same time it's a pebble in my shoe and it's a little depressing seeing everyone I haven't seen in a while. Part of me is hoping to reconnect when things level out and part of me want to just take it out of the equation.
TL;DR: | Part of me is hoping to reconnect when things level out and part of me want to just take it out of the equation. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [21 M] with my possible love interest [21 F], friends for 3 years, but having second thoughts
POST: I'm sure this situation comes up quite a bit, but here's my story.
I am currently in Senior year of college. I'm friends with this girl whom I have been friends with since Junior year, and she has been recently showing interest in me. I've made friends with her through a mutual friend, and we didn't really talk much since this year. I find her physically attractive, but I haven't been able to 'click' with her on emotional levels and find it kind of hard to maintain conversation with her. She is also a bit clingy which is a bit of a turn off for me, but if I'm able to find more than sexual attraction for her then it wouldn't bother me enough to rule out the possibility of a relationship.
We have cuddled on her bed and couch a few times and it was pretty relaxing, but I think I just find her personality too eccentric and quirky for me, as I'm a more laid back and quiet kind of person (although eccentric and quirky isn't necessarily a bad thing). I'm also afraid I may have led her on too much already by cuddling, which I regret and feel selfish for doing.
I'm trying to ensure that my physical attraction and emotional attraction towards her are kept separate, and just want to do the right thing. Would it be wise to ask her out on a date to get to know her better, or would that lead her on too much? I don't want her to get her hopes up only to potentially be turned down, she's a really sweet person and I don't want to upset her, especially since I'd like to stay friends with her.
TL;DR: | Semi-close friend of a few years started showing attraction to me, not sure if I'm interested and don't want to upset her feelings. |
SUBREDDIT: r/self
TITLE: I'm secretly spiteful and relish my revenge fantasies.
POST: On the outside I'm the calm, relaxed, easy going guy who cracks a few jokes now and then. I make jokes out of everything (probably a coping mechanism) and never seem to take anything too seriously. I'm the last guy the people I know would expect to be on depression medication. I recently got on meds, and most notably my motivation has returned. That's a problem though, because now I'm motivated. I actually accomplish things.
I've been wronged, kicked down, used, and abandoned by so many people in my life. Even after many years, I still hold this seething spite in the depths of myself. I'm secretly still loathe these people, most of whom are not even in my life anymore. It's been seeping into the forefront of my thoughts more often lately, probably because of my medication.
I find myself playing out revenge fantasies in my head without realizing I'm doing it at first. I play through what I'd do or say, and it gives me this feeling I've never felt before, I don't know how to describe it. I have no intention of physically harming these people, not at all, but I find myself again and again imagining myself tearing them down with my words. How I really feel, how terrible of a person they are. I love it.
I'm scared this is not healthy (I'm sure it isn't) but it's becoming a bigger and bigger part of my conscience. I'm sort of scaring myself, I guess. I don't want to keep these people in my life, but a sick part of me hopes I run into them again so that I can live out these scenarios for real.
TL;DR: | I'm filled with spite towards certain people, and constantly find myself playing out revenge fantasies in my head. Scared that a part of me wants to live one out for real. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: [30m] and [28f] why does it feel she has gone cold
POST: I recently went out with a colleague for drinks, we had a great time talking, flirting and at the end of the night kissed.
I was staying at hers and we spent the day on the couch cuddling and taking turns to fall asleep whilst watching films, joking about how long it would take people to find out at work, she made a comment about our compatibility. I left early evening, kissed good bye and said we would text each other and make plans for later in the week.
I text a few hours later thanking her for a great time, she responded with it was really good fun and we had a couple more texts that night.
I sent her a message over WhatsApp about a joke we had yesterday evening, but no other messages as I'm trying to not appear too eager/desperate/needy even though I like her. She hasn't picked it up, but didn't message her yesterday other than that.
I messaged this morning, but have had no response it was just a quick question about her day. I'm trying to be rational and say she's busy with friends so hasn't text, when we were together she was like that with. But I feel like its gone cold, when I know I'm being stupid the conversations were positive during the day.
TL;DR: | went for drinks with colleague, kissed and spent following day together cuddling, had a few texts that night, but we haven't spoken since. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: After 2 months of what I[23f] thought was casual dating, guy[24m] shows signs I interpret as clingy and rushing. Help me sort myself out?
POST: I started getting friendly with my girlfriend's friends from home after we graduated college (we went to college locally so we live about half hour away). One of her guy friends and I would flirt every now and then and then shared a drunken makeout one night. I have him my number and he asked me on a date for the next weekend. We saw each other weekly for about six weeks, occasionally seeing each other twice a week or not at all. In my head it was casual dating, which was good.
My birthday was last week and he wanted to take me out for it. On the day we had made plans to celebrate I had a haircut appointment and he was to pick me up afterwards. Well, I walk into my house after the cut and he is in my kitchen preparing dinner. He told me he contacted my mom on Facebook to coordinate with her. He also gave me a relatively expensive gift, flowers, and a framed photo of the two of us from a date went on.
There were things about him that made me unsure about us. Certain personality quirks, notably the feeling he's a bit clingy. I was worried this was in my head and that maybe I was looking for reasons out. He texts constantly, and will text multiple messages in succession if I don't answer the first. It usually ends in a question, making me feel obligated to answer. When we hang out, he's all about impressing me with things and actions and not about getting to know me. He rarely mentions getting they're with other friends. I'm usually very independent in relationships and thought maybe this was in my head or I was uncomfortable because I wasn't used to the attention. However, this last incident has me completely confused and withdrawing. I saw us as casually dating, exclusivity was never mentioned, and yet two months in this happened.
Do these actions seem clingy, or is it all in my head? Should I proceed with telling him I want to slow things down, or listen that voice in my head that's saying "run!"
TL;DR: | Thought I was casually dating a guy, but his "clingy" actions tell me otherwise and it's scaring me away. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Professor's Cube Parity Error (5x5x5)
POST: I know a thing or two about rubix cubes. I did start out by learning the algorithms for the 3x3, but i said f that and decided to figure out what the algorithms actually do. Worked out great and was actually able to traslate that knowledge to solve other cubes (2x2, 4x4, 12 sided one). My only problem is the 5x5. Nine times out of ten i run in to the parity error. I know I can easily find the algorithm but i dont want to just memorize movements. I'm wondering if anyone knows any tricks to avoid the parity all together. If i must then i suppose i will figure out what the algorithm actually does but if i remember correctly there are a lot of complex steps to it.
TL;DR: | I'm trying to see if anyone knows how to avoid the parity errors for 5x5x5 rubix cubes. |