id
int64 5.11k
4.34M
| gender
stringclasses 2
values | age
int64 13
48
| topic
stringclasses 40
values | sign
stringclasses 12
values | date
stringlengths 2
18
| text
stringlengths 4
790k
|
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
883,178 | male | 36 | Fashion | Aries | 06,February,2004 | It Can Stop Snowing Already Friday Five 1. What's the most daring thing you've ever done? Cancelling my wedding a month before the big day. I think there are a lot of girls out there that would have just gone along with it. 2. What one thing would you like to try that your mother/friend/significant other would never approve of? Ever since I cancelled my wedding (which, in turn, cancelled my honeymoon trip around the world) I've wanted to volunteer either in Africa (specifically in Tanzania - in a village at the foot of Kilimanjaro) or India (in Dharmsala). Even at the time I told my mom I wanted to do this, she did not approve. It's not that she didn't want me to help people, she's just a worrier. I'd like to try a more non-corporate/creative kind of job...rock star, artist, fashion designer, whatever. But I have a feeling those that are close to me would wonder why I'm not being more practical. 3. On a scale of 1-10, what's your risk factor? (1=never take risks, 10=it's a lifestyle) 7 - perhaps I sometimes make decisions in haste, but I try to never look back. 4. What's the best thing that's ever happened to you as a result of being bold/risky? I've lived in some amazing cities - London/Chicago/practically New York - and am thankful for these experiences. Travelling in general has opened my eyes to a lot of different ideas and people. 5. ... and what's the worst? I tried some weird-looking food on the street in Thailand and got a severe case of the trots. Sorry...TMI. |
883,178 | male | 36 | Fashion | Aries | 03,February,2004 | Best...Link...Ever... urlLink Hey Ya Charlie Brown! Trust me. |
883,178 | male | 36 | Fashion | Aries | 02,February,2004 | I Call Myself/Yes/Don't Mess Around By Duf Fer Question: Does Janet call herself 'Miss Jackson'? I ask 'cause she is nasty. PB, yes, you can borrow my Minus 5 and disc-o inferno that bad boy (burn, baby, burn). Shit! DJS would want me to put this in a comment. Darnit Duf! I don't own an apple, but I heard that if you are going to get one, don't mess around: get the Power Mac G5 with the dual 2gHz. Yours, Duf |
883,178 | male | 36 | Fashion | Aries | 02,February,2004 | Too many asshats behind the wheel. I'm done with winter. It just needs to be said. |
883,178 | male | 36 | Fashion | Aries | 02,February,2004 | The Joys of a Large Company You'd think while I was with a technology company for 3 years I would have had my own laptop. Nope. But guess what? Not only do I have my own here, but it has a (working) CD burner. (P.S. - my burner at home has recently died. Moral of that story: Don't buy a computer from Gateway.) Duf, could I borrow your Down With Wilco CD? Thanks! (P.P.S - I'm considering getting a Mac next. Any suggestions?) |
883,178 | male | 36 | Fashion | Aries | 02,February,2004 | Stalking Tweedy By Duf 'Not the Bird' Fer My urlLink latest obsession. |
883,178 | male | 36 | Fashion | Aries | 02,February,2004 | The Strife is Over... The Battle Done... The Vic-tor-y... Of Life is won! By Duf 'Praise Him' Fer As previously mentioned, urlLink the strife is over the battle done, the victory of life is won. This isn't blasphemy, is it? |
883,178 | male | 36 | Fashion | Aries | 02,February,2004 | I Have an Idea By Duf 'Thug Life' Fer What if we form a real gang called The 'Landahz (don't hate) and roll up on this designer and do a blast out? Or alternatively we could do a drive-by egging. Landah for Life Sucka! Duf |
883,178 | male | 36 | Fashion | Aries | 02,February,2004 | I (HEART) Designers. Could someone loan me their gun, bazooka, slingshot or hot fire poker? I need to kick some, pretentious designer A-YASS immediately. Hep a sista out. Seriously, I want to shove a pen up his nose. yo. |
883,178 | male | 36 | Fashion | Aries | 31,March,2004 | This Will Be It...I Swear Now, I'm no spokesperson for the Catholic church (the Pope would probably be appalled by a lot of things I've done in my life), but I do know a good parish and a bad parish when I see (or read about, in this case) one. Unfortunately for you and your fianc?, DJS, you stumbled upon a bad parish. Regrettably, it's the bad/extreme parishes, priests, bishops, etc that we hear about on the news and from disgruntled ex-Catholics. And all of these episodes, for most people who hear about them, give the entire church a bad rap. I'm not saying the Catholic church is perfect. Not even close. But it's parishes like the one you experienced that are making people leave the faith. I definitely know more people who have abandoned Catholicism than have embraced it, and for that I am saddened. For me, Catholicism should be synonymous with acceptance and embracing of all types of people, forgiveness, holy traditions, the belief in only one God...all the basic Christian ideologies. Instead, what we hear about are condemnations, the rules associated with 'this is right/this is wrong', corruption, pedophilia, etc, etc. I went to Catholic grade school, college, and grad school. I have met some amazing people (priests as well as lay people) who embody all things good about the church. I just wish more people had the positive experiences with the church like I have. I also think my parents had a lot to do with that. DJS, I do not categorize you with my ex - the only way I could do that would be if I thought DJ LZ really cared about the Catholic faith. Like Duf mentioned before, we all are fundamentally good people who want good things for others. Whether or not you go to a building every Sunday for an hour doesn't change that. |
883,178 | male | 36 | Fashion | Aries | 30,March,2004 | Just To Clear Some Stuff Up By DJ 'Hey, hey now' Shovelpants First off, I don't want any of y'all, Christians or otherwise, to think I look down my nose at you and the choices you've made spiritually. Religion, like politics, is one of those walking-on-eggshell topics that you can really piss someone off or even alienate them with an opposing point of view. Personally, I like to talk about where people are coming from and why they believe what they believe. When everyone can agree to just talk and not judge, some pretty interesting dialogue can occur. So yeah. I don't hate anyone for their beliefs nor do I judge anyone for following the path they've chosen. One of my good friends from work here is definitely on the 'God Squad' full time and he and I were able to talk about where we're coming from. He 'gave his life back to Christ' as he says 3.5 years ago and I can totally respect that. If it works for you and it makes you a stronger person (which in his case, he claims it does) more power to you. I admitted to him that I thought he'd cancel the friendship if he knew that I wasn't really a bona fide Christian anymore. He thought I was crazy. I'm agnostic. During high school, I was pretty sure I was athiest, but I know better, now. I've basically been a non-believer to a 'I-don't-know-what-to-believe' kind of guy since 7th grade. Crazy, eh? Like I said to the mentor couple we met with, I think understanding a higher power is not something we as puny self-important little humans can comprehend. Christ, we can barely drive a remote control car on Mars and we're supposed to understand something as big as a higher power? Some people say the good book lays it all out...well, if that works for you: Sure, friends. I didn't mean to say NOTHING good came out of our Jesus-filled weekend. There were some high parts, interrupted constantly by the lows. DJ LZ and I got to talk about stuff that hadn't occurred to us and we got to see that we're alike in a lot of regards and we really do compliment each other in different ways. The Bad List (truncated out of respect) - Having the priest tell everyone that any church 'worth its pulpit' wouldn't perform same-sex marriages. - Being told that if you don't have kids, the Catholic church won't marry you. - Having the most un-sexy couple in the world explain how to have sex. 'Measure the temperature, and check the muccus for constistency...' Yeah. Really put us in the mood. - Being told that if you're in a mixed-religion marriage, that you're asking your Catholic counterpart to SIN if you don't allow him/her to go to mass every Sunday. - Listening to some financial guy tell you that you MUST give at least 20% of your earnings to the church. - Having to hear that the marriage isn't about the couple. It's about getting closer to God. - Getting the speech: 'If you don't pray together, your marriage is doomed to fail.' - Having to explain to our 'mentor couple' why I'm not a Christian or a Catholic anymore. As for the church and why we're getting married there... Personally, I feel the whole wedding thing is basically a formality. The guy up front all dressed up in robes, people kneeling, squatting, doing dance moves with their hands. Technically, I'm pretty sure you're married when you fill out the marriage license. Have a witness sign it and you're good to go. The church thing is a means to an end for me at this point. I know that no matter what, I want to marry this woman. Maybe this lumps me in with PB's estranged ex-fiance, but I don't care if Charlie Manson has to marry us or I've got to jump out of a plane to do it. I just want to marry her. If that means I need to bite my tongue and go through rituals that really don't mean much to me other than making me feel the tiniest bit like a hypocrite, then so be it. That's not to say I don't understand how important and what a huge committment getting married is. It's not something I'm going to take lightly. Having done this once before, I can see where things fell apart the first time and I know that this time, things are different. Final chapter, so to speak. So, all in all, the weekend was an eye-opener to both DJ LZ and me. She's decided that our little DJ's won't be baptized Catholic and that after the wedding, we'll have nothing to do with that church. I'm all for it. I was just happy that she got to see the church's true colors without any outside interference on my part. 'I've been a blind Catholic,' she said at the end of day one. 'Tomorrow is going to suck.' That's my girl. |
883,178 | male | 36 | Fashion | Aries | 30,March,2004 | On a Lighter Note... So, do you like urlLink The Apprentice ? I do. And now I know urlLink which Apprentice I am . I'm urlLink Bill . (As it should be.) |
883,178 | male | 36 | Fashion | Aries | 29,March,2004 | DJS and Panda Are My Heroes By Duf 'Not in an idolatry way' Fer Best...blogs...evah! When I was in college, I was kind of sort of exploring this idea of dating a girl who was Jewish. She was and is a very close friend, so I naturally thought about what it would be like to be her boy toy...er...boyfriend. Okay both! Geez. Anyway, as part of my ruminations, I wondered what I would do if things got serious. She was Jewish (did I mention that?). I was not. I knew her faith was important to her. I knew that she would much prefer (if not require) a husband that could celebrate faith traditions with her. During most of my college years I was a practicing Catholic. So, I was looking at abandoning my faith to pursue a life with a true friend (a soulmate acutally) and someone I thought I could build a life with. In the end, I did not pursue the relationship, but not for that reason (another blog for another day). A few years later, I stopped being a Catholic right after a mass at the St. Paul Cathedral (another blog for another day). I was free to be anything, including Jewish. When I met Mrs. Duf, she had four cats (she still does). I wondered what would happen if I was allergic to cats. I'm not, so I will never know. She married a vegetarian, but one who does not care if she eats veal everyday. She might wonder what would have happened if I did care (I'll ask her). The long and the short of it is...dear 'landahz. You may reach a point where you have to balance. If you love someone and they love you, but they don't love your traditions or your God, then you have a choice to make. For me...now...if I fell in love with someone who was a devout _____________, and I was not a devout __________, but I loved her, and she loved me...I would try to make it work. I would go to _________ services and try to raise my children in __________ traditions. It might work for me, because my only strong view on religion is that we should respect all sincere religious beliefs. Those who walk a spiritual path that feeds their soul are lucky. Even if that path does not have a deity at its center. Still, my approach would only work if I had some regard for those traditions. So, for the Judeo-Christian tenets and for the Ahimsa based belief systems I would be fine. But for those religions that deviated from that, I might struggle (I say might because there is a lot about religion I don't know). My view is that we are all basically Christians. We don't value lying, stealing, killing or coveting, etc. We might not want to go to Ash Wednesday services, but...at the basic level, most reasonable people are in the same place. So here is my point. The second most difficult thing I have ever done is be married (and I've only been married for 3.5 years). The most difficult thing I have ever done is co-parent (and I've only been doing that for 2.5 years). What matters most (in both arenas) is love. What matters second is accord on the essential things. What is essential is up to each person. If religion is, then it is best to know that it is. If it isn't, then it is best to know what is. What matters third? Compromise. |
883,178 | male | 36 | Fashion | Aries | 29,March,2004 | For What It's Worth... ...before I cancelled my wedding, I went through 2 (I guess you could call them) 'counseling' sessions. One kind of wigged me out (the one with the over-the-top priest who was going to marry us), and the other was with a married couple from my parish (if you haven't already guessed, I'm of the Catholic tradition. DJS, don't hate.) The priest meeting didn't really affect me too much. The whole time I was like 'C'mon, man. What the heck do you really know about being married?' But I listened, since I know he had talked to many couples before us, and probably, as an outsider looking in, could give us a different perspective. Plus, he agreed to do part of our mass in Latin (which is very out-of-the-ordinary and unusual in a cool way since he was only 26 years old), so I tried to give him a bit of our attention for that. What I thought was really valuable, though, was the meeting with the married couple. Sure, we had to take a lame multiple choice test with No. 2 pencils and all, but then we had the opportunity to discuss our individual answers and whether or not they matched up (very revelatory, btw.) The couple pretty much told us straight up that their own marriage had been difficult...(obviously, every marriage is). It was no walk in the park, but, in the end, they had a spirituality that connected them. They asked tough questions (not just of the 'God' variety) that I think, ultimately led me to ending it all. Please don't assume we never discussed serious topics in the 2 years we were together before this, but it did bring to light some underlying issues even the strongest couples may not think about. I believe for most couples, if they share a faith, it's just another thing they have in common. The more you have in common with someone, the more you're likely to get along. I don't think being of the same church, religion, culture, hair color, hometown, food tastes, etc, necessarily makes 2 people a better couple, but it does give them yet another thing they can relate to. They can understand where the person is coming from when one of them, let's say, insists on saying grace at dinner. They don't think it's weird when, at Christmas time, you want to put out a manger under the tree and tell your kids about the Baby Jesus. They can gag together if cranberry sauce is served at Thanksgiving and they both hate it. These things may not make or break a relationship, but they can definitely bring a couple closer together. I know my ex-fiance was marrying me in my church because I wanted him to (he could have cared less if we got married on a beach in Guam). Looking back, that should have been the big tip-off. In the future, I wouldn't want anyone to just 'go along' with something that serious (to me) unless they felt as strongly about it as I did. In my experiences, doing something solely to please someone else always leads to resentment. |
883,178 | male | 36 | Fashion | Aries | 29,March,2004 | Couples Counseling By Duf 'Dr. Phil' Fer DJS...when Mrs. Duf and I were preparing to take the walk, we met with one of the ministers at urlLink my church (for those of you who don't know, I am urlLink Unitarian Universalist ), and she interviewed us about our readiness for matrimonial bliss. It was very low key, and Mrs. Duf dreaded it like a coming famine. Mrs. Duf is the introvert of all time, and she literally cringed at questions like: 'why do you love duf?' For some reason, I have a consitution that kind of likes retreats and couples counseling and all that stuff. I think it is insightful and challenging and all that stuff. Having said all that, I'm not sure I would like one that was focused on a faith that was not of my choosing. DJS, I'm dying for details, so let's burrito soon. |
883,178 | male | 36 | Fashion | Aries | 29,March,2004 | Friday on Tuesday by DJ 'Even Tardier' Shovelpants 1. What is your favorite time of year? Fall. Gotta be. Even though it's the shortest season of the year. That frost and shit that sneaks in around early November? That's that S.O.B. winter trying to ruin the dry and moody crispness that is fall. 2. What is it about your favorite season that, well, makes it your favorite season? I'm a sweatshirt and jeans kind of guy. So, I did seasons where I can wear that and only that when I'm out and about. Plus, my birthday and Halloween are tossed in for good measure. If October isn't the coolest month around, then I don't know what is. There. I've said it. 3. What is your least favorite time of year? Why? Christmas time. Humbug! While I like being with the family and such, it also ends up being the biggest stress-pool ever for me. Don't get me wrong, I like giving gifts to people, but I just hate BUYING the gifts for people. I second-guess myself to death and I hate fighting the throngs of idiots out at the malls and the stupid drivers and the snow. Ugh...what's with the snow? So, yeah. F Christmas. 4. Do you do anything to celebrate or recognize the changing of seasons? Do a little dance. Make a little love. Get down tonight. 5. What's your favorite thing to do outside? I like being at a cabin. I love tearing through the woods one minute and then skimming across a lake the next. That's fun for me and one of the reasons I'd have a hard time ever leaving Minnesota again. The northern part of our great state is worth all the B.S. we put up with down here. Also, I like to grill out on the patio with some friends and enjoy a nice refreshing bottle of Miller High Life. Ah...let the good times roll. |
883,178 | male | 36 | Fashion | Aries | 29,March,2004 | It Was Worse Than I Thought Hello Kiddies. That Catholic Pre-Cana retreat thing I went to over the weekend? Much, much worse than I thought. So much so, that DJ LZ is ready to shed her Catholic upbringing like a pair of soiled pants. Makes me wish we would've had the 'talk' about religion a few months, hell...even a year ago. Now, we're getting married in a Catholic church and neither of us are in the Catholic state o' mind. You know? She's ready to jump ship and become Lutheran (or something) and I've let my membership lapse since sixth grade (I never got confirmed, yo.) Anyway. I won't sully the site with what I encountered, but let's just say that I feel good about my decision to not fall prey to the pitfalls of organized religion. Sure I'm getting married in a church, but that's the last of it... |
883,178 | male | 36 | Fashion | Aries | 29,March,2004 | Sports, Sports, Sports, Sports, Sports, All you Think about is Sports By Duf 'Channel Surfing' Fer So, my beloved Jayhawks lost to a Ramblin' (and hackin') Wreck. They will not make a third consecutive Final Four. Other schools have all the luck. Why don't my teams win all the time? There is no God. Also, f*&^ Georgia Tech and all they stand for. The South will NOT rise again. I would rain curses on Atlanta, but a certain hot chick I know is fixin' to move there, so I will hold of on my plague of frogs... The University of Minnesota Men's Hockey team will not win a third consecutive national championship. God has forsaken us. I rain curses on the city of Duluth (but somehow I hope they win it all. It's weird). But, the Gopher women are NCAA Division I hockey national champions , and, thank God, there was no rioting in Dinkytown (the students either feel blah about women's sports, or they are finally understanding that a sports victory is not a cause to burn and loot). Also, kudos to the Gopher Women's Basketball team (and Lindsay Whalen who I totally have a crush on, totally) for making it to the elite eight with impressive wins over UCLA, Kansas State (there IS a God) and Boston College. Closed circuit to Duke: watch your back. Also, you suck. The lesson here is that Chicks Rule! One a final note: I rode my new bike on Saturday for about 40 minutes. I am in horrible, horrible shape. My heart was pounding on me like a Georgia Tech forward. Midway through my ride, it started to rain. I was drenched. Then the wind picked up, and chilled me to my very bones. My very bones. But, it was a little slice of heaven to be back in the saddle after the heartbreaking loss (cursed thieves, I smite thee) of my beloved bicycles last year. |
883,178 | male | 36 | Fashion | Aries | 26,March,2004 | Friday on Monday by Bass 'Tardy' Babe 1. What is your favorite time of year? Summer. Without a doubt. No question. No f-f-f-foooolin. 2. What is it about your favorite season that, well, makes it your favorite season? I like it hot, hot, hot. What can I say...I'm a hot chic. 3. What is your least favorite time of year? Why? Winter. Since it's been over ten years that I lived in a home with a sledding hill in my backyard. I grew up in house that was next to a golf course. (no kidding, Duf!) There was a large hill leading into a tunnel that went under the street that was in my backyard. Hours of sledding fun. and since I always tell myself that I will go snow-shoeing and cross-country skiing in the winter and I never do, leads me to believe that I'm just not that crazy about Old Man Winter. I'm breaking up with him next week. 4. Do you do anything to celebrate or recognize the changing of seasons? This year, I plan on packing up everything I own, pack it real tight in my little car and driving for 20 hours. Nothing sez 'Celebration' than moving. 5. What's your favorite thing to do outside? I'm with the gals on this one, boating on a lake. simply the best. I also enjoy exercising outside. Running when I'm feeling fit, biking at a leisure pace, and walking around the neighborhood. Another top runner is having drinks on a patio bar on a warm summer evening at twilight. |
883,178 | male | 36 | Fashion | Aries | 26,March,2004 | Fark Headlines of the Day By Duf 'TGIF' Fer 'Forty-four sheep 'appear' at farm. Police baaaffled.' 'Before Toma Petre's relatives pulled his body from the grave, ripped out his heart, burned it to ashes, mixed it with water and drank it, he hadn't been in the news much.' |
883,178 | male | 36 | Fashion | Aries | 25,March,2004 | Here we go... 1. What is your favorite time of year? I have an appreciation for all the seasons. But I typically like the first part of each one. For instance, I look forward to the leaves changing and the first snowfall, but after awhile I get sick of the same-old and Im waiting for the next change. This is why I couldnt live in California. 2. What is it about your favorite season that, well, makes it your favorite season? Lets just consider this the Friday Four. 3. What is your least favorite time of year? Why? Um the end of each season. Maybe the Friday Three? 4. Do you do anything to celebrate or recognize the changing of seasons? Friday Two? 5. What's your favorite thing to do outside? I love, love, love being lakeside on a beautiful summer day. Like the Duf, I also enjoy swinging a golf club. And I love bundling up and taking a walk at night, right after a big snowfall (as long as its not -20). Nothing like the sound of crunching snow under the feet. |
883,178 | male | 36 | Fashion | Aries | 25,March,2004 | My Five 1. What is your favorite time of year? Christmas time. I absolutely love giving people presents. I like receiving them too, but that's not what I look forward to all year. I love the smell of Christmas trees and this past year I got to set up my fake silver/aluminum tree from the 1950's (it was my nana's - no real aroma except a little mustiness). Plus, Christmas means a couple days off, which is always welcome. 2. What is it about your favorite season that, well, makes it your favorite season? I'm confused. I think I already answered that. 3. What is your least favorite time of year? Why? The dead of winter sucks because you can't go outside for even 5 minutes, and all I want to do is sleep and eat cake and cookies (yes, cake and cookies...in winter I have an unbelievable craving for both). Dead of summer is the worst too. Not only do I hate being sweaty, but at work we can't wear capris or shoes with open toes, so I'm not looking forward to July. 4. Do you do anything to celebrate or recognize the changing of seasons? In spring I usually get my shorts, sandals, and T's out for easy access. And I love the first day I can open all the windows in my house. 5. What's your favorite thing to do outside? To go boating. When you're in a boat, it truly feels like summer (and without the sweat and ickiness because you can go swimming, and there's the wind factor). Last summer I dated a guy a few times in order to have access to his speed boat. That's how much I like being on the water with the wind in my face...I didn't even like the guy. |
883,178 | male | 36 | Fashion | Aries | 25,March,2004 | A Five From the Past By Duf 'Here's How I Felt in 2002' Fer Our friends at FridayFive.org had all week to come up with five easy questions, and they come up with bubkus, nada, zero, zilch. So, I went back to the week of March 22, 2002, and this is what they were asking: 1. What is your favorite time of year? No question about it: fall. I love the change of colors, the return of college football, the crisp, cool nights, and the hint of winter in the air. 2. What is it about your favorite season that, well, makes it your favorite season? Oh, I couldn't really say... 3. What is your least favorite time of year? Why? Summer. Because it's too darn hot. I don't like to be hot. I like to be cool. 4. Do you do anything to celebrate or recognize the changing of seasons? I have been known to go to a solstice celebration or two with some of my pagan friends. Who's askin'? 5. What's your favorite thing to do outside? Have sex. No, I kid...I kid. It's watch people have sex. Again, with the kidding. Actually, it's film people...no, really, it's play golf. I also like to ride bicycles. But if I had to pick one thing, I would pick play golf. |
883,178 | male | 36 | Fashion | Aries | 25,March,2004 | Top Three Fark Headlines of the Day By Duf 'Man Bites Dog' Fer 'Show me state's tax refund hotline number goes to phone sex service. Show me the honey.' 'Denver Broncos QB Jake Plummer calls the play-action fake on his bride-to-be.' 'Richard Simmons cited for slapping man at airport who said, 'Hey everybody. It's Richard Simmons. Let's drop our bags and rock to the 50s'.' |
883,178 | male | 36 | Fashion | Aries | 24,March,2004 | it's funny how things converge at the same time... I stayed up past my bedtime last night to catch none other than our beloved David Brent on urlLink Letterman last night. Ricky Gervais is just the cutest ;) |
883,178 | male | 36 | Fashion | Aries | 24,March,2004 | Destiny fulfilled. I think I speak for everyone here when I say that Pandyland is a different, more complete place now that all the landaz have see The Office. In celebration of this event, I share urlLink this link . Reading those quotes brings it all back *sigh*. COCK! |
883,178 | male | 36 | Fashion | Aries | 23,March,2004 | Damn It Well, I can thank HAL for totally sucking up my evening last night. She let me view her copy of The Office (on BBC DVD) and I watched every single morsel in one sitting. Everything. I'm talking about the documentary, the deleted scenes, everything. I guess that makes me a 'fat git nerd' who watches these types of things 'with the shades drawn on a sunny day.' Oh boy. In a word: brilliant, actually. I couldn't get enough of this show and like PB & BB before me, I was disappointed that there weren't six more episodes ready for my immediate viewing. Six shows in a series? What kind of rubbish is that? Admittedly, I didn't know what to expect with this show. I thought it was going to be extra-dry Brit humour (notice the extra 'u' in humour) with a dash of skullduggery. I think I initially judged this DVD set by it's cover, with the very stern-looking twat on the front who looks as though he's sizing you (or anyone else looking at the product) up. Imagine my surprise when Ricky Gervais turned out to be nothing like that. While I liked the movie 'Office Space' this show beats the living crap out of it. Excellent stuff. Add one more show to the pile of shows that are the exception to the rule. I'll be buying this and Series 2 in no time. Favorite bits: - 'Get the guitar.' - 'That's good. I'll give her an 'A.' - 'Biting...biting.' - 'Why're you in so early? Did you shit the bed again?' - 'Who all has seen this picture? Joan, you don't even have a computer...' How sad is it that there are little parts of Tim that I can totally relate to? |
883,178 | male | 36 | Fashion | Aries | 23,March,2004 | A Few More Details Before I forget, I wanted to add a few more gems to what Duf mentioned below. I'm not going to lie to you, the party was a huge success, but with each success comes some mishaps. Take for instance, the poor urlLink Big Unit (who from now on will be referred to as 'The BU'). He got asked by a (heterosexual) couple to go home with them. I never thought I'd date a guy that fits the 'swinger' stereotype. Luckily, he had no idea what they were talking about and didn't take them up on their offer. (He told me later that after he turned them down they left, but then 5 minutes later they came back inside and asked him again...so either this really happened, it was deja vu, or the appletini I made him was too strong. Regardless, they propositioned him at least once.) Then there was BB's roommate who stumbled across some cheatin'-style hanky-panky in the coat room. They had politely put all the coats outside the room, but unfortunately for BB, her purse remained inside. Her roommate entered the room and survived to tell the story. I'm not going to bother you with the details. Use your imaginations, sickos. I also met an interesting couple who were not convinced I could make them a good cocktail. The leather pants clad husband grabbed the shaker (from my hands), and said 'let me do it.' I was not happy. Then the wife said 'We always bring our own lemons.' Huh? WTF is that? How pretentious can you be? I couldn't be too hard on them though. The husband looked like he was wearing a Hefty bag with legs (fashion tip reminder - leather pants are supposed to be tight ), and in her skin-tight skirt, she looked like two basketballs stuck in a sausage casing. I guess these 2 never heard of age-appropriate clothes. Good grief. Finally, I was forced to kick out an unruly substance-abusing neighbor. He wasn't what you would call a 'happy drunk'. After he spilled wine on the birthday boy's new rug, I thought he had enough. 'Hey neighbor, you don't look well...why don't we go outside for some fresh air.' He responded with a very bitter and slurred 'no.' 'Ok, neighbor, why don't we have a smoke then? [btw - I don't smoke, but was using Hal's cigs as bait].' Now he was irritated: 'I know you're placating me...' 'Alright then, neighbor, instead of placating you, I'm telling you to get the f- out of here.' 'Absolutely not.' Obviously, this was going nowhere, fast. In the meantime, he knocked over the stereo and stood (more like barely balanced) in the middle of the room, on the verge of going completely postal. Finally our friend J got him to leave. I guess as he was being walked home (barefoot - he forgot his shoes), he told the guys - 'That blond girl was a real bitch.' Oh, friend. Don't you know you won't remember a damn thing in the morning? Kind of like Hal. |
883,178 | male | 36 | Fashion | Aries | 22,March,2004 | 80% of Awesome By Duf 'Token' Fer Four out of five (80%) Pandylandaz (don't hate) were in attendance at a house party on Friday night in the Highland section of St. Paul. DJS was missed a great deal, but we still brought mad flava to the gathering. Mad flava. It was all good. I had a grape jolly rancher drink, and it was smooth and sweet, a tasty treat. I got to meet R, the divine Ms. PB's gentleman date. I reconnected with friends I have not seen since my BUNKO days, I did not look at BB's cleavage (BB, you are leaving the Twin Cities at the height of your powers), but I was tempted, and HAL poured red wine all over my white turtleneck. In other words, a good time was had by all. |
883,178 | male | 36 | Fashion | Aries | 19,March,2004 | The Five with Flava by Duf 'St. Paul Style, Yo' Fer 1. ...owned a restaurant, what kind of food would you serve? Like HAL, I would want a bar with snacks. But with my snacks, I would want vegetarian food that no one knew was vegetarian. Nachos with no meat, cheese pizza, fries, artichoke dip, stuffed mushrooms and deviled eggs, stuff like that. 2. ...owned a small store, what kind of merchandise would you sell? I would sell weed and paraphenalia you could use to smoke weed. Just kidding. I would sell space suits and space suit paraphenalia for the upcoming citizen space exploration. No, really...I would own a store that sold high end electronics. Stuff that you really can't find at Best Buy or Ultimate Electronics. Either that or I would own I would own a golf store. 3. ...wrote a book, what genre would it be? American Literature. I still dream of writing a great American novel one day. 4. ...ran a school, what would you teach? How to be a pimp. I would call it the St. Paul Pimp University. I would get TA's for Big Pimpin' 101 Basics of Pimpin' and Big Pimpin' 102 Pimpin' Redux, but for Pimpin 501 Master Seminar on Pimpology, I would teach that bad boy myself. 5. ...recorded an album, what kind of music would be on it? American rock and roll...the kind of music that Wilco makes, the kind of music the Flaming Lips make. That is what I would make. That, or a hardcore rap album about my life as a pimp in the upper Midwest. Picture me on the cover with Flava Flav sunglasses and a sable coat...rings on every finger and a cane topped with a diamond. |
883,178 | male | 36 | Fashion | Aries | 17,March,2004 | F Me...It's the Friday Five a la DJ Shovelpants 1. ...owned a restaurant, what kind of food would you serve? Delicious food, of course. No, I think I'd have the kind of restaurant that doesn't have any sort of seafood, white sauce, mushrooms or anything else that I don't like in it. If you've got a sophisticated palate, dine elsewhere friends. Oh...I'd also call it The Insult Cafe. I'd love it if when people come in, the host or hostess would say: 'Christ. You want to eat here? How many pricks in your party? I think the people are ready for a good ol' dose of comedy with their meal. No? You don't think so? Dine elsewhere, friends. 2. ...owned a small store, what kind of merchandise would you sell? Nostalgia. I'm all about the nostalgia. I would have vintage Star Wars posters, old Dukes of Hazzard lunchboxes, Stretch Armstrong dolls, Garbage Pail Kids stickers...the works. Basically, if there was something you remembered or liked as a kid, I'd have it in stock. 'Where are the Easy-Bake Ovens?' Right this way, ma'am. 3. ...wrote a book, what genre would it be? 4. ...ran a school, what would you teach? Creative writing. I want to get to these kids at an early age and basically help them develop ideas and come up with kick-ass stories. I'm one of those people that believe that everyone can write and I'd like to be there to unleash that potential from some of these little whipper-snappers. I'd run it kind of different too. Instead of just saying 'Write a book, kid. Now.' I'd get kids together to do cool activities that inspire and encourage the kids to keep going and learn to love it. Not sure how it happened with me, but... 5. ...recorded an album, what kind of music would be on it? Well, I'm big on lyrics...so it's hard to say. While most people are looking for a good beat or a particular guitar riff or chord to get them going, I like to hear the story or the way the words are piled together to form the song. That being said, I think my music would probably fall somewhere in the EELS realm. The benefit of the EELS is that they're lyrically sound and their music kicks ass. Can't lose, in my book. |
883,178 | male | 36 | Fashion | Aries | 17,March,2004 | Alrighty... 1. ...owned a restaurant, what kind of food would you serve? I would have a hole-in-the-wall bar with unremarkable food and cheap beer. 2. ...owned a small store, what kind of merchandise would you sell? I would have a music store (yeah, I know, a very dying breed) with listening stations. I would lose money on the shop, but it would be kick-ass. 3. ...wrote a book, what genre would it be? The only book I would ever end up writing is a memoir, and that would only be after my affair with a world leader, or after I stumble across a cure for cancer (whichever is first). And I would use a ghost-writer. 4. ...ran a school, what would you teach? I really wouldnt like to be a teacher. But since this is a Friday Five question, Ill say 20th Century History. 5. ...recorded an album, what kind of music would be on it? When you say recorded, you mean burned? Right? If I burned an album today, it would have some U2, The Smiths, Beth Orton, Flaming Lips, and Wilco on it. But ask me again tomorrow. |
883,178 | male | 36 | Fashion | Aries | 17,March,2004 | Not a bad Friday Five, folks. If you... 1. ...owned a restaurant, what kind of food would you serve? Indian-French fusion. You know - duck confit with curry? Hey, it would work! 2. ...owned a small store, what kind of merchandise would you sell? Oooo...this is a good one. I am a lover of chotchkies (although in my rather barren apartment, you wouldn't know). I love stupid shit like candles, funky photo albums, urlLink Paul Frank t-shirts, Asian-inspired jewelry, my list could go on and on. urlLink This was my favorite store in Chicago. I would copy it...but I'd also sell CDs from local artists and play their music in the store. 3. ...wrote a book, what genre would it be? I would definitely write my own travel book about cool places I've been...this kinda ties into my love of planning. I always enjoyed showing people around Chicago, and in essence, through a book, I could do the same thing, but with a wider audience. 4. ...ran a school, what would you teach? I'd teach a film class - it would be like a book club, except you have informal discussions about a particular film. I'm no expert on film-making, but I know what I like and what I don't like. I also would not allow any testosterone-filled mainstream films (ie - The Mummy Returns, Men in Black, Terminator 3, or XXX). Boring. 5. ...recorded an album, what kind of music would be on it? Hmmmm...a mix between the Indigo Girls, Alanis Morissette, U2, Tori Amos, and Blur. Hey, it would work! |
883,178 | male | 36 | Fashion | Aries | 17,March,2004 | My life, as I know it, is now over. I am officially urlLink addicted to this . Sign up for $20/month, make a 'movie wish list' and let 3 movies at a time come to your door...with a SASE and no late fees! It's almost too simple! BB filled me in on it (I'll have to have a word with her), and I've been adding movies to my list all day. I may never leave my house again. And I thought I saved myself by cancelling cable? |
883,178 | male | 36 | Fashion | Aries | 16,March,2004 | Still another Good Fark Headline By Duf Fer 'Disco singer Edmund Sylvers dies. Possible causes include Boogie Fever' |
883,178 | male | 36 | Fashion | Aries | 16,March,2004 | Another Great Fark Headline By Duf Fer 'Kerry said 'more' leaders, not 'foreign leaders.' In other news, Bush said, 'My mom does crunches for ab reduction,' not 'Saddam has weapons of mass destruction'' |
883,178 | male | 36 | Fashion | Aries | 16,March,2004 | Fark Headline of the Day By Duf Fer 'Busch Gardens accidently lists number for porn line in brochure -- so when you call, you'll get a bush garden, just not THAT Busch Garden.' |
883,178 | male | 36 | Fashion | Aries | 16,March,2004 | Putting My Money Where My Mouth Is By Duf 'McGillicuddy' Fer Yesterday, I sent some money to John Kerry (an Irishman - it's his day, St. Patrick's Day) in support of his goal to raise $10 million dollars in 10 days. I have never sent money to a Presidential candidate before (a few state legislature candidates), and it felt good to do it. If you have the inclination and the means, you should help urlLink John Kerry meet his goal . |
883,178 | male | 36 | Fashion | Aries | 16,March,2004 | Best Post-It Note Ever A couple years back, I loaned a dollar to HAL. The next day, attached to a fresh dollar was this Post-It Note: I came across it today and I laughed just as hard now as I did all those years ago. Top quality. |
883,178 | male | 36 | Fashion | Aries | 15,March,2004 | Bush is Uniting People By Duf 'Power to the People with No Delay' Fer My brother attended a democractic caucus the other day. He is normally unafiliated and votes for candidates not parties. You will see that my brother is a huge proponent of a multi-party system (excellent). You should check out urlLink his blog (scroll down past the cool photo of my niece) regarding his caucus experience. It is vey, vey interesting. |
883,178 | male | 36 | Fashion | Aries | 15,March,2004 | BB and I watched Series 1 (borrowed from Hal) of urlLink The Office and we were disappointed.... because there weren't more episodes! urlLink We loved it . I can't wait for Series 2 to come out on video, and I will do everything in my power to NOT READ the episode guides on the website before urlLink April 20, 2004 . BB loved it so much, she left me a thoughtful voicemail about it over the weekend: 'COCK.' Thanks BB. I love you too. But not as much as I love urlLink Gareth . |
883,178 | male | 36 | Fashion | Aries | 12,March,2004 | Friday Five 1. What was the last song you heard? Youre All I Need To Get By Marvin Gaye dueting with some woman 2. What were the last two movies you saw? Duplex, and School of Rock shown on the plane ride home, falling in and out of sleep, not wearing headsets. 3. What were the last three things you purchased? Last night I picked up the check at dinner (dont get too excited, Im expensing it), this morning I stopped at Starbucks and got a latte and slice of banana bread. 4. What four things do you need to do this weekend? Catch up on sleep, do my laundry (its getting bad), deliver to my nieces and nephew the Harry Potter candies I picked up for them in the UK (yeah, I know... best Auntie EVER), watch Alias. 5. Who are the last five people you talked to? Anjali, Duf, Courtenay, Reception Specialist Jan, said hi to someone in the bathroom. Boring, I know, but Im at work. What can I say? |
883,178 | male | 36 | Fashion | Aries | 11,March,2004 | The Five to Make You Sleep By Duf 'If I know my answers are boring, am I blameless that they are boring?' Fer 1. What was the last song you heard? Dont Know Why by Norah Jones. And I'll Bertuzzi any of you punk-ass bitches who thinks that makes me a little girl. 2. What were the last two movies you saw? Finding Nemo and Ice Age . 3. What were the last three things you purchased? An egg and cheese bagel at McDonalds; the new Norah Jones CD, and the Coldplay live DVD and CD combo platter. 4. What four things do you need to do this weekend? Take TinyE to swim class, take Mrs. Duf antiquing in Stillwater, work, get fitted for a tux, call my brother, watch KU win the Big 12 tournament (is that more than 3?). 5. Who are the last five people you talked to? Dumb questionno one will know any one that any one lists. Here goes: JM, a manic depressive manager in our office who is in a depressive frame today (and mad at your humble blogger to boot); TR, a Brit who works for one of our technology partners and is one cool bloke, I wish we were mates; CK, our training manager who is somehow nerdy and cool at the same time; HC, who works as part of our Interactive Division in CA (her favorite restaurant is Outback Steakhouse, no, Im not kidding); and SK, also part of our Interactive Division a former rocket scientist at NASA who is brilliant but is the worst dressed woman Ive ever met. |
883,178 | male | 36 | Fashion | Aries | 11,March,2004 | Friz-iday Fiz-ive by Dizz-e-Jay Shiz-ovelpants 1. What was the last song you heard? 'Scared of You' by Nelly Furtado. I know, that makes me a little girl, but I don't care. She's more talented than any of those fake teeny-bopper groups like Shitney Spears, Crapstin Timbercrotch, or Slutstina Aguiholycrapisshedisgustingera. Wow. I need to calm down. 2. What were the last two movies you saw? Starsky & Hutch (eh...it was okay) and Tommy Boy (on DVD). Some asshole called me Tommy Boy in class last night. I don't know if he was just playing off of my name or if he thought I was Chris Farely-esqe in my fatness. 3. What were the last three things you purchased? Jesus. I can't remember. I plan on buying a burrito and Futurama Volume 3 on DVD today. Does that count? Oh...and maybe a memory card for my PS2. Wow. I really sound like a dork. No wonder I'm going to get voted off of this site. 4. What four things do you need to do this weekend? Study for my test on Monday, have a High Life or two, go to my EVOC class tomorrow morning (8am!), and get fitted for my tux with Dirty Sunday night. 5. Who are the last five people you talked to? DJ Laura Z, Teddy (a guy at work who loves the vids, too), Jan (our bloated receptionist), CK2, and Jeremy the IT Mastermind. |
883,178 | male | 36 | Fashion | Aries | 11,March,2004 | Friday Five y'all 1. What was the last song you heard? With You' by Jessica Simpson. Don't hate. I listen to KDWB morning show. 2. What were the last two movies you saw? Touching the Void (I was indeed breathless) and Starsky and Hutch (pretty amusing) 3. What were the last three things you purchased? movie ticket, water and groceries 4. What four things do you need to do this weekend? organize my taxes stuff, exercise, four church gigs and have a nice time out with the gals this evening 5. Who are the last five people you talked to? Cat, Eric & Ryan (co-workers), Dan in CO and Matt, my trainer |
883,178 | male | 36 | Fashion | Aries | 11,March,2004 | A Quick FF 1. What was the last song you heard? Secret World by Peter Gabriel 2. What were the last two movies you saw? The Passion and Touching the Void 3. What were the last three things you purchased? An appliance light bulb (Im a twit and left my refrigerator door open all night a couple nights ago), bananas, milk (boring, I know). 4. What four things do you need to do this weekend? Get decorations for a friends 30th b-day party, take a mannequin out of my trunk (hes been rolling around all week and is very uncomfortable), get a birthday present for said friend, and see 2 movies (Osama and Monsieur Ibrahim). 5. Who are the last five people you talked to? Jed (birthday friend), Elaine (coworker we always talk about the show The Apprentice on Fridays; Kwame sucks BTW), Brenda (another coworker major underwriting issues), Randy, and Sheri (a coworker and friend who got me this job). |
883,178 | male | 36 | Fashion | Aries | 11,March,2004 | The Insomniac Strikes Again How 'bout some links? You think the million dollar bill was bad? This is urlLink funnier . urlLink Pets or Food ? DJS, perhaps urlLink this is for you? You can sell urlLink anything on eBay. |
883,178 | male | 36 | Fashion | Aries | 10,March,2004 | Like urlLink The Passion but with a Happy Ending Mark, Bassy, and I (sans wimpy Hal) went to see urlLink Touching the Void at the Uptown theater last night. It was, simply put, amazing. We all felt like a bunch of sissies after seeing it. The urlLink way Kevin MacDonald filmed the documentary and the true story aspect was urlLink astounding . The movie touches on the physical and spiritual dilemma of facing the unknown and overcoming one's fear in order to emerge 'reborn on the other side'. But the real reason I liked the film is that it's just one of those stories that catches your breath. (I think Bassy was a bit short of breath herself...) However, I think Mark summed it up best. Throughout the whole film all I could hear him mumble was 'un-fucking-believable.' |
883,178 | male | 36 | Fashion | Aries | 10,March,2004 | I just got my concert tickets for the Strokes show in Chicago. Imprinted on them in big, bold letters are the words: 'No Moshing or Body Surfing.' Forget it. I'm not going now. |
883,178 | male | 36 | Fashion | Aries | 09,March,2004 | More than you ever wanted to know... I had a great, great vacation. There are so many places in this world that I hope (and plan) to visit. But London is just... very hard to not visit at least every couple of years. For me, it's a combination of nostalgia and new discoveries. I had some worries that this trip would be a flop - we were only going to be there 4 nights, we had a Mom with us, we all had our own 'must do' list, etc. Thankfully, my lowered expectations paid off. My cohorts were Angela (lived with us for about 2 months while we were in the UK, and also my roommate for this stay), Christine (a roommate the whole time I lived there), and Susan (Christine's Madre, truly a good sport when it came to our antics). Without further ado, here's the blow-by-blow: Wednesday We landed in the A.M. and made our way into town and hotel. The plan was to stay up until at least 8 or 9 pm (easier said than done), so to resist the urge to nap we dropped our bags off and headed down urlLink Oxford Street for shopping. The main mission for Christine and I - getting bras at urlLink Marks and Spencer (it's kinda a cross between Target and Marshall Fields). It's a sad fact that American woman cannot find quality undergarments. Luckily, we can supplement with trips abroad and no one does it better than M&S. Mission accomplished, we went next door to urlLink Selfridges (closest equivalent here - Bloomingdales) and wandered around to a cafe for coffee and cigarettes. Revived by caffeine and nicotine we stopped in a few other stores and then headed back to the hotel to unpack and put our feet up (promising we'd keep each other awake). I should mention here that we had the blessing/curse of forethought, and as a group decided to buy a CARTON of cigarettes when we were going through duty free. Cost savings? Check. Waking up each morning questioning our sanity? Check. That said, here?s my closed circuit to DJS - dirty cigarettes in Europe are absolutely delicious. Formally checking into the hotel was a bit of a fiasco (there's a reason the U.S. gets raves for customer service), so Angela and I went to the other room 'till ours was ready. Christine, Angela and I watched urlLink 'Father Dowling Mysteries' on the telly (get it?? I was in England! 'telly' - he, he, he!!), while Susan napped. Nothing like random American television (with urlLink Tom Bosley , no less!) to add to the surreal world of jet lag. After Father Dowling figured out the mystery of the maid being held prisoner by her employers, our room was finally ready, so we got our keys and unpacked. Quick showers and slaps to the face were administered and we headed out to dinner. When I was buying my urlLink Tube ticket the (initially crabby) man on the other side of the glass asked me if I was American. 'Yeah' I replied defensively, expecting a rant. 'What do you think about urlLink Kerry ' the man asked, 'I think he's going to go all the way!' I paused, completely taken aback. Sure, I know Tony Blair, but I couldn't guess who the opposition leader is. 'I, uh, don't know much about him. It looks like he'll be the one to challenge Bush, though.' Way to put that Political Science degree to work, HAL!! 'I think he is just like John F. Kennedy!!' the man excitedly exclaimed. 'Well, they are both from Massachusetts' I weakly replied. 'I hope he's got what it takes to beat Bush' 'Yes, he is like Kennedy, he will beat Bush!' the man smiled. I then asked the man where he was from. 'Bangladesh' he said. Then I went and caught my train, guiltily making a mental note to look up Bangladesh on the map when I got home. Back from dinner we went to the 'Glenn Miller Bar' at our hotel for a night cap. It quickly became our trip tradition to start and end each evening there (it was open 'till 7am, while pubs close at 11pm). Back in our rooms by 11pm we congratulated each other on staying up past our goal our and fell asleep watching 'Sex And The City'. God bless the BBC. Thursday Day 2 was our sight-seeing day. We started at the urlLink London Eye - a new attraction for all of us. Basically, it's a huge Ferris Wheel on the Thames, very close to Big Ben. It takes about 25 minutes to go around in it and you can see just about everything in London from it. It's ironic that a city with very few clear days would create such an attraction, but it worked out for us - from there we walked to the urlLink Tate Modern (art) gallery and crossed the Thames on the 'wobbly bridge' - the urlLink Millennium (pedestrian) Bridge , a feat of British engineering (installed as part of the millennium celebrations) that was closed for much of the time following the grand opening because it shook and became unstable in wind. Recently 'fixed' we braved it and lived to tell the tale. That night we went to the play urlLink 'When Harry Met Sally' , recently opened and starring urlLink Luke Perry and urlLink Alyson Hannigan . It was a crap show (but the good news is, it only cost $75 apiece to see it) with some smart bits. I thought Luke was (surprisingly) good and Alyson (surprisingly) not good. However, Luke's performance was greatly improved when he jumped out of the post-coital bed and flashed us his ass (sorry, 90210 aired during a seminal time in my life). I'm here to tell you - Dylan's still got it!! After the show, we went back to the hotel bar. Around midnight, Christine and Angela pulled the lightweight routine and went up to bed. I stayed down with Susan and we were joined by a drunk Irish dentist named Paul (he was in his mid-fifties). He bought us a round and started hitting on Susan. Then he asked us what we thought (or as he'd say it, 'taught') of John Kerry. He also added that he thought Kerry was like John F. Kennedy. Not surprisingly, he's just as popular with the Irish as he is with British immigrants from Bangladesh. After an hour or two of Paul telling us how much he loved American woman and making love to woman (one assumes nationality is not important), Christine came down in her pajamas looking for her mother. When we introduced Christine to Paul, he said, 'aye, Christine, I think your mother is a luhhv-ley woman'. Figuring we were alive and relatively safe, she headed back to bed, but not before Paul could ask, 'is your father upstairs as well?' Once we safely untangled from Paul, we called it a night. Friday I was on a mission to get stilton cheese as a gift for dad, so Susan and I grabbed breakfast at the hotel (and managed to avoid a hung-over Paul, eating there as well) and headed to urlLink Harrods . Once there, we also stopped downstairs and saw a creepy Princess Diana/Dodi Fayed memorial (Dodi's dad owns Harrods). The memorial consisted of pictures of the two, flowers, the diamond ring (very bling) that he gave her the night they were killed, and most bizarrely, the dirty wine glasses 'preserved' from their hotel room. It was almost like a religious shrine with relics. Very 'ewww'. Afterwards, we met up with Christine and Angela and did a little more shopping. Then we did the ultimate girly 'four girls go to London' thing - we had high tea next to urlLink Kensington Palace . After that, we were ready for a night of true (non-tea) drinking. Last year Angela met 4 blokes from London (get it?? I was in England! 'blokes' - he, he, he!!) while on a trip to Spain. We met up with them (and a few of their friends) at a urlLink pub and then we went to a urlLink club full of Eurotrash. The music was loud and bad (I distinctly remember ?Ice, Ice, Baby? being played). I talked to a guy from Russia who?s lived in the UK for 9 years. When I asked where he was from, he said 'Moscow'. 'So, NEAR Moscow, then?' I replied. 'Yeah, it's sort of the New Jersey of Moscow' he said. I asked him if he'd been to the States, and he said no. I guess that they show 'The Sopranos' on the BBC. I made the mistake of going to the toilet, sorry, 'loo', that made the toilet in ' urlLink Trainspotting ' look spotless by comparison. As if the floor wasn't bad enough, the attendant kept screaming about a girl who had just thrown up all over a stall. Lovely. The oddest thing about it all was that all I could think of was 'I'm too old for this' and 'I don't do this enough anymore'. After many more drinks we left the club and I introduced our British hosts to the distinctly American tradition of the pinky-swear (as a sign of their commitment to visit us in the States, presumably so we can return the hospitality, though we don?t have an exact translation of the evening over here). In the interest of full-disclosure I am told by my traveling companions that it?s at this point that I announced (or screamed, depending on who you ask), 'Bloody Hell! Where's our cab?' My question must have gone unanswered as we then started the walk back to the hotel (graciously accompanied by our hosts), stopping half way for take-away Chinese food and eating it in an alley. Is there anything better? Then we finally got in a cab for the rest of our journey (serenading our cab driver on the way). At this point, the wise choice would have been bed, but we went with plan B - the hotel bar. After another round there (hollow legs, I guess) I said good-bye to the last two of our hosts. When I got up to my floor the newspapers were already there and I thought to myself, 'God, I love London'. Saturday When I awoke the next morning, I thought, 'God, I hate London', and Angela looked at me, laughed, and said, 'Bloody Hell! Where's our cab?' I returned a quizzical look, and shortly afterwards we had a knock at the door - someone nicely pointing out that the room key had been left in the door the night before. Just like anyone who's hung-over, I was thrilled at the prospect of hopping a train to urlLink Borehamwood , the town at the north end of London where we lived oh-so-long-ago. But nostalgia tour '04 was going forward. We went to urlLink St. Albans first (a little north of Borehamwood) and walked around in a daze, still trying to shake off the night before (or maybe it was just me). Then we headed to Borehamwood and ooh-ed and ahh-ed as we passed each shop, reciting each memory, and certainly coming across as insane to the locals. We had a pint (alright, a half-pint, we were trying our hardest) at our old pub, urlLink The Hart and Spool . We walked by our old house, and then back to the train and to London. Earlier that day, the urlLink big rugby match between Ireland and England was played (in London) . We knew this because we almost saw someone killed in the Tube over it (Ireland won). There was also some very foul language, too harsh for me to publish here (plus, I have no idea what they were saying - the British have very elaborate words for 'cocksucker'). In my humble opinion, there are better ways to die then getting beaten to death over a rugby game. There is a reason why the UK has very restrictive gun laws. We had half of Ireland staying at our hotel, so later that night the bar was like St. Patrick's Day times 10. For our final night, we headed to the other side of London for an Indian meal (in the east end there is an area called urlLink Brick Lane ). We got horribly lost, and it wasn't the type of area to get lost in. Thankfully we managed to figure our way out before the restaurants closed for the night. On the Tube ride home, Angela started talking to a group of dread-locked teenagers. They bonded enough for her to start dancing on a train platform while one of them did a beat-box. Sunday On our final morning, we sleepily and almost silently caught our cab to our train and our train to our airport. And that was it. |
883,178 | male | 36 | Fashion | Aries | 08,March,2004 | How you doin? hey folks, sorry to have been a lame-o poster lately. what can I say but...i got my money on my mind and my mind on my money...that's sorta true if only I had more money to actually think about...but I have been preoccupied as I start in on the home stretch here in the land 'o lakes. I give notice on Thursday, folks....I have to admit that it's a little scary but I'm happy to be moving on from here. And besides, I love traffic. ;) Other things: DJS -- not enough room on Pandyland for ya, huh? Or did the hazing finally get to you? I know Duf takes his hazing duties seriously but c'mon...a little stroll through the grocery store naked while tied to Duf who insists you dance for him in the freezer aisle never hurt anyone... HAL -- let's spill the London deets, yeah! Panda -- the land of no cable isn't all that bad...wait, I'm back in the land of cable again. what am I saying? it rocks! Duf -- Hi. don't really have a side note for you, but didn't want to leave you out. |
883,178 | male | 36 | Fashion | Aries | 08,March,2004 | Fledging Site/Shameless Plug/Ego Stroking Kids. I've started a new solo blog (not to say that I won't continue to post here occasionally). I missed having one of my own, so I did it. Have a look. It's called urlLink I'll Be Dashed... I'm going to try and maintain it as often as I can (yeah...right). Side Notes: Panda - How can you give up cable? What about the Sopranos??? Duf - How's that tux fitting going? HAL - It feels like you're leaving out the deets from your trip. Spill it! Bass Babe - Atlanta? Crazy. Hope you like traffic! |
883,178 | male | 36 | Fashion | Aries | 08,March,2004 | My Ass Has Reached Its Threshold So I'm fighting back...I have cancelled my cable service and have joined the ranks of Hal with 'basic' only. Hopefully this will get my ass off the couch and I'll get to bed at a decent hour. Plus, I just got a DVD player so I can now rent movies to my heart's content. What I'm saddest about: no more Queer Eye, E! True Hollywood Story ('The Saved By the Bell Cast' was on last night), and Biography. What I'm happiest about: no more Newlyweds (that inane show with Nick and Jessica), endless Real World reruns, and The Home Shopping Channel. |
883,178 | male | 36 | Fashion | Aries | 08,March,2004 | Fark Headline of the Day By Duf Fer 'Delaware smells like a twelve-gallon bucket of ass.' |
883,178 | male | 36 | Fashion | Aries | 05,March,2004 | Being back is good (Im officially broke, and my liver and lungs can only take so much abuse) and its bad (seriously I dont think Ive ever had so much fun on a vacation). I'll have more about my trip later (hands down highlight - Luke Perry's ass). Breaks my heart to hear I missed the snow suckers! Heres my FF: 1. ...your first grade teacher's name? How bad am I? I cant remember. I think it was Mrs. Scarp. 2. ...your favorite Saturday morning cartoon? Muppet Babies. Dunno why, but I just remember being really, really excited about watching it. 3. ...the name of your very first best friend? Amy Flood. But she moved away and changed schools. Thats when I learned the world is cold and cruel. 4. ...your favorite breakfast cereal? Capn Crunch WITH Crunch Berries. Or, Peanut Butter flava. Also, Lucky Charms and Flintstones cereal were perfectly acceptable to the palate. I once had an allergic reaction (broke out in hives) to Rainbow Bright cereal. 5. ...your favorite thing to do after school? I grew up within walking distance of my first elementary school (I went there K-3 and was bused somewhere else 4-6). Every day, school would let out and Id start the brief walk home. About half way there, Id stop, have a seat on the sidewalk, and eat my lunchbox leftovers. Mom would then pick me up (in a car) where I was picnicking. To this day Im not really sure why she picked us (my brothers went there too, but we didnt attend at the same time) up on the way home vs. at school, or even not picking us up at all. Typical of most of my weird behavior, its only recently that I understand why everyone thought my picnic habit was funny or odd. |
883,178 | male | 36 | Fashion | Aries | 05,March,2004 | A Friday Ago Five By Duf Fer 1. Where were you born (city or state or just country)? Kansas City (I'm going to stand on the corner of 12th Street and Vine). 2. What is your favorite number? 65 (I needed it for Bingo as a lad and got it). 3. Vanilla or chocolate? Is this a reference to my taste in women? They are both appealing and I have had fun with chocolate, but usually go with standard vanilla. Wait, flavors of ice cream? Vanilla. 4. What section of a bookstore would I find you in? Fiction (make it classic lit if you got it). Speaking of which, I am reading 'Frankenstein' right now. Mary Shelley wrote it when she was 19, and it is amazing. Very beautiful and extremely well written. 5. What kind of mattress do you have on your bed? soft? firm? water? It is medium. The main thing is...it is too small. It is a full size bed, and it is fine for me and Mrs. Duf, but when TinyE joins the show (bed hog of the century), it's too crowded. We need a King. |
883,178 | male | 36 | Fashion | Aries | 05,March,2004 | Hey, I Had to Shovel as Soon As I Got Home By Duf 'I miss you all' Fer 1. ...your first grade teacher's name? Here is a little secret about Duf. I skipped first grade. 2. ...your favorite Saturday morning cartoon? I really liked Underdog (and that is cheating because it was not a Saturday morning cartoon). On Saturday we usually watched Looney Tunes. 3. ...the name of your very first best friend? Chris. He is the coolest guy in the world. Check out the Vitae: Duke (still sucks) undergrad; Iowa Writers Workshop for a Masters. Harvard Law. Ouch. 4. ...your favorite breakfast cereal? I was not allowed to eat pre-sweetened cereal, but I WAS allowed to sweeten my cereal. Anyway, my favorite cereal was Raisin Bran. 5. ...your favorite thing to do after school? Play outside. Kickball, baseball, football, tag, cowboys and Indians, etc. |
883,178 | male | 36 | Fashion | Aries | 05,March,2004 | I've Had It. Panda, I hear you. This snow shit is for the birds. That's the one thing I hate about March. Sure, it's all nice and the snow starts to melt again and you start looking for your shorts and what-not, but then BAM! Like a sack of bricks, another 18 feet of snow jostles you in the cash n' prizes and you slap your head like some backwoods yokel. 'Well, shucks! I guess winter ain't over after all!' I'm telling you, if it wasn't for DJ LZ, my family, all my friends, my firefighting gig and a few other things, I'd be on the first road out of here. That ain't the case, kids. I'm here for the long haul. Triple gay snow or not. What time is it? 3:30-ish? Shit. I've got time. Here's my Friday 5. What was... 1. ...your first grade teacher's name? Miss Gazda. This was in Catholic grade school, but man she was smoking hot. I'm telling you. I was only six years old (or so) at the time, but I couldn't help but wonder what her boobies looked like. Is that sharing too much? Sorry. These are the things my little church-y schoolboy head thought of. No wonder I wasn't cut out for this Jesus shit. 2. ...your favorite Saturday morning cartoon? This is going to sound totally ass-wonky, but I really, really liked the Disney cartoon 'The Gummi Bears.' You're thinking: Man, DJS. What's so cool about Gummi Bears? Well, I'll tell you. They weren't like the adventures of little pieces of candy running around. They were like...Medieval Bears and they lived in a forest and they went on adventures and quests and stuff. It was very cool. 3. ...the name of your very first best friend? Some kid in my nursery school named Mike. I can't remember his last name, but we were friends until I moved to a different school to go to kindergarten. I think I even invited him to a birthday party, but the asshole never showed. I'm still upset about this. 4. ...your favorite breakfast cereal? Oh, that's easy. I liked Cap'n Crunch. Like Panda, we didn't get too much sugary cereals, but when my parents removed the sugar prohibition, the flood gates opened. From then on, I kept turning to the oval-headed captain in blue for my cereal delight. 5. ...your favorite thing to do after school? Another easy one. My little brother Dr. Rob PhD and I would immediately head downstairs to either play Legos or play Atari 2600 until my eyes burned. Come to think of it...not much has changed. Well, except for the Legos, my brother and the Atari 2600. |
883,178 | male | 36 | Fashion | Aries | 02,March,2004 | Let's just say I'm pretty damn jealous of Duf and Hal right now. Not only did we get dumped on last night, but I have to drive through this crap all the way to Beer City in Sconie. F- me. This is almost as bad as my trip to Duluth for work this past Wednesday. Almost. One more thing - I'm already sick of the political ads on TV. How many more months until November? Count 'em - NINE. Thanks, G Dub. Now finally, a decent FF: What was... 1. ...your first grade teacher's name? Miss Hirsh. She was definitely my favorite teacher in grade school. She was the kindest, most patient woman I have ever known. And I remember her very straight teeth for some reason. 2. ...your favorite Saturday morning cartoon? The Smurfs, hands down. I especially liked the evil Smurfs that would bite the Smurf tails to infect the other Smurfs. That was Smurfy. 3. ...the name of your very first best friend? Amy Trudeau. I hear she has 2 kids now and is living in northern Sconie. We used to ride bikes everywhere together and played Barbies and Cabbage Patch Kids. We also were on my swing set all summer long. 4. ...your favorite breakfast cereal? When Star Wars, etc was big, my little bro and I really got into the cereal 'C3PO's'. It was kind of like Alpha-Bits. I also liked Cocoa Krispies. My mom didn't allow sugar cereals that often, so these were real treats. 5. ...your favorite thing to do after school? I would always eat a thing of yogurt for a snack (I'm a creature of habit) and then I would watch 'Saved By the Bell' with my brother and we would laugh and laugh about how much of a dork Screech was. Hmmmm, maybe the dorks were the kids watching that gay-ass show? |
883,178 | male | 36 | Fashion | Aries | 02,March,2004 | I'm going on vacation today. Ow! I'm trading in the gray, gloomy, damp weather of MN for the gray, gloomy, damp weather of the UK. Why? Better beer. See y'all on Monday. |
883,178 | male | 36 | Fashion | Aries | 01,March,2004 | Weekend Recap 1) Do not use the valet service at the Loring Pasta Bar. I got my Toyota backed into and the front bashed in by an out-of-control valet trying to quickly park a Lexus SUV. They took full responsibility, thank God, but what a pain to find the time to get your car fixed. The woman who owned the Lexus was typical (picture Edina native, lots of gold and make-up, and a Gucci bag). After I told her she didn't have anything to worry about since she barely got a scratch, she put me in my place by telling me 'my husband owns 2 dealerships and honey, if you get a scratch on a car like this, you get it fixed.' So what you're saying is, you're husband is a swindler and you're a gold-digging whore? Got it. 2) 'The Lord of the Rings Show' (aka 'The Oscars') was a snore. I heard Billy Crystal got good reviews. He's gotta be paying someone off because he made me groan through the whole show. As Randy said, 'The Oscars wouldn't run so late if they didn't give all the time to no-talent-ass-clowns like this guy.' Yep. 3) I saw urlLink The Passion on Sunday (my version of going to church). The movie kicked my ass. Hard. We had to stop at the bar next door for a couple of margaritas afterward. Here's my take: Was the movie overly violent? Yes. The worst part was 11 minutes of JC being scourged by the Romans. You can go to the bathroom or close your eyes during this part. Mel definitely takes it to the limit. Was it an accurate depiction of the Gospels? Yes. Dead on. Was it an accurate depiction of actual history? Probably not. You see 'Mel's version' of Pontias Pilate who, historically, was a sadist who routinely crucified people without trial. Mel made him out to be almost compassionate. Will it make some people reaffirm their faith? I think so. I left the theater thinking I really needed to make a better effort and go to church more. Some people need tragic experiences to reassess their faith. Some only need a powerful movie. Is The Passion a good film? It is a great film. Granted, I may never see it again, but I'm glad I experienced it at least once. There wasn't a dry eye in the house. ps - you'll enjoy it more if you have some knowledge of the Gospels and the Passion story. Gibson doesn't introduce each character that well, so even I had questions about who was who. pps - I liked how Mel took liberties with involving the Devil in the story more than the bible does. It shows how JC had a choice to stop everything during the entire ordeal (he was tempted more than just once to call it quits), but he chose to follow through with his sacrifice. Ok. I'm off the pulpit now. Back to our regularly scheduled lighter program. |
883,178 | male | 36 | Fashion | Aries | 29,April,2004 | Sometimes I Go Into eBay Looking for a Microbus By Duf 'Right ON' Fer Here is a 'Terms of Sale' description from an actual microbus auction: Ok put DOWN the haki-sak and listen up. I'm trying to SELL this car. The convention is that the person buying something will hand over some scraps of paper that were imprinted by the government with the words FEDERAL RESERVE NOTE. They have numbers on the corners. Look around...You HAVE some of these? GREAT! Now look at the numbers and see if when you add up one number from each paper that the total is equal or more than you are going to bid on this. No cheating, only use the number in one corner! Don't count each one 4 times. All set? GOOD! Perfect. You can go from being a bidder to a buyer. That's really cool. What is really UN-cool is bidders that go from being bidders to DEADBEATS. You bid, you buy, you own. Any other way gets you bad feedback and maybe a visit from Rocky and Guido. 'Get in da caa, Da boss wants ta talk two's ya....' Make sure that you have your finances in place BEFORE bidding. Don't plan on making a killing with your stash after the fact. Make your deals and have cash-in-fist. I've got all the woodstock items a person could need so no trades. Once you become the winning bidder you need to grab the skateboard and rumble over to fedex and get me a 10% nonrefundable deposit within 3 days of the auction end. THEN you will have 10 days to get me the rest of the money and I would prefer that you collect your car. CAN it sit here a bit longer than that? Yes but if that is your plan, let me know before bidding. Ask your questions BEFORE bidding! Yes I can take other photos and like that. It is sold as is and all the good stuff and any bad stuff is equally YOURS. Buyer will have to suppy own leather headband,tiedye and purple granny glasses. Buyer is responsable for shipping. Possible delievery on the central east coast for expenses. Check on this before bidding. Far out...................................... |
883,178 | male | 36 | Fashion | Aries | 28,April,2004 | I'm alive... getting my ass kicked in my workouts on a daily basis this week has been awesome. I'm tired as hell, but I seem to have no problem getting up an hour early and getting a cardio workout in before class starts (we workout as a class in the afternoon too.) I can say without a doubt that this is where I'm supposed to be. ;) now if y'all would just move on down here, life would be complete. |
883,178 | male | 36 | Fashion | Aries | 27,April,2004 | Uprising of the Oldies Not sure if I've told y'all, but I've been taking a community ed watercolor class every Tuesday night. Needless to say, I'm the youngest in the class by about 40 years. It's ok, though, because it gives me a creative outlet and a chance to relax. At least that was the intent... Last night's class was a little disturbing. I got to the classroom early so I helped our cute little 68-year-old German teacher with setting up the room. A couple oldies trickled in and they were not shy about sharing bodily function stories. 'Oh Gladys, I just got my pictures back from my colonoscopy...they look beautiful.' First of all, I didn't know anyone would ever have the desire to see photos from a very invasive butt test, let alone describe them as 'beautiful'. Gross. Then one of the more outspoken students (if you could be any more outspoken than talking about your ass) brought up politics out of the blue. 'If 'that guy' buys his way into the presidency again, I'm moving to Canada.' I heard some mumblings and then some 'uh-huh's' in agreement. One of the women referred to G-W as 'The Next Hitler' and someone said 'who would be dumb enough to vote for that guy??' The oldies then went off on a tirade, which I don't really feel like repeating here. Needless to say, I kept my mouth shut during this whole episode. OK, let's get a few things straight. First of all, I took an art class to do just that - art. I did not sign up to get politically blasted by some 70-year-old liberals. Everyone has a right to his/her opinion, but what makes me so damn mad about people who get antsy about politics is when they don't take into account that they may be talking to a mixed audience. I'll admit, I voted for Bush in the last election (I'd consider myself more fiscally conservative than socially). I'll also admit that I don't think he's the smartest guy to ever sit in the Oval Office, therefore I don't know if I'll be voting for him again. However, I would NEVER go off on a politician I didn't like in front of people I didn't know. To me, that's just plain rude. Especially since I just want to paint a picture of some f-ing sunflowers for cryin' out loud. Go on, move to the so-called utopia you call Canada. Then maybe I could paint in peace. |
883,178 | male | 36 | Fashion | Aries | 27,April,2004 | So A Woman Comes Up to Me... By Duf 'How much money do you have in the bank?' Fer I was listening to a radio program last week, and a reporter who was interviewing a rancher asked this question: 'How many cows do you have?' The rancher replied: 'Enough to eat all the grass. What, do you work for the IRS?' The point is that it is rude to ask overly personal questions of people (sometimes even if you know them well). Anyway, a co-worker gave me a survey and asked me if I would complete it for her class at North Hennepin Community College. I said sure, without reading it. Here are the questions...with my answers SA = Strongly Agree MA = Moderately Agree NAND = Neither Agree Nor Disagree MD = Moderately Disagree SD = Strongly Disagree Age = 36 Sex = M Marital Status = married Non-marital relationship = no It is important for men to be masculine. MD It is important for women to be nurturing and sociable. MD I cry to relieve tension and stress. SD I am an emotional person. SA I have been abusive to others when I have been angry. MA I am competitive when I play sports. SA My significant other knows my deepest feelings. MA I hold my feelings in when I am with people I don't know well. MA I enjoy cooking. MA I enjoy the company of children. MA As a child I played with dolls. MA I think it is acceptable for a woman to smoke a cigar. NAND I think it is as acceptable for a woman to smoke a cigar as a man. SA I prefer a short hair style for men. NAND I think men should shave all of their body hair. SD Women should be allowed to be priests. SA I feel that it is important for women to know how to cook. MA I find muscular women unattractive. MD I feel uncomfortable seeing two men holding hands in public. MD Men who pierce their ears tend to be more feminine. MD Men who get their fingernails manicured tend to be more feminine. MD I think women should shave their legs. NAND I have less respect for men who have traditionally feminine jobs like being a nurse or secretary. SD What do you think is an ideal job? An ideal job is one that is satisfying, rewarding, challenging and varied. It is one that provides responsibility, authority and adequate compensation. A job that provides independence and allows for a balanced life (accommodating other priorities like family and leisure time) is also ideal. If women held all or most of the political positions, do you think the country would be different? How? I don't think the country would be different. Over the past few decades, a lot of women have occupied leadership roles in government and in business. I work in an industry with a comparatively large number of women in executive roles. They are governed and limited by the same success criteria as everyone else (profitability). It is also true for women in government though the criteria are different (the 'greater good', the 'will of the people' and re-election). England did not change under the leadership of Margaret Thatcher, and India was largely the same under Indira Ghandi's rule. Changing the percentages so that women held all or most positions might influence issues or governmental structure, but I don't feel it would change the country. What do you like or dislike about your gender? What I like about my gender is... ...some of the physiological advantages of being a man: our systems seems less complex, less finicky, and less impactful on our day-to-day physical well-being. We don't have menstruation or menopause, and our maintenance requirements don't really get invasive until we are 40 or so years old. What I don't like about my gender is... ...the same thing I don't like about gender in general. The role is so weighted down by constructs and stereotypes - by societal expectations. Women should comport to Cosmopolitan notions of beauty. Men should be strong (physically and emotionally) and they should provide (well). |
883,178 | male | 36 | Fashion | Aries | 26,April,2004 | I know we all get strange requests at work from time to time...from our bosses, customers, and even the mail guy. I was thinking of what mine have been over the years, so I thought I'd turn it into a Tuesday One. What has been your strangest work request(s)? This had to have been during my year stint with a MN-based company where I ran incentive programs. The first program I ran (for a certain high-profile investment company) was in San Francisco. It was a trip all the top sales people had won - all expenses-paid. I was in charge of the VIP's for the 10 days (the CEO, his wife, and everyone in between). The CEO was not happy with the toilet paper at the hotel. Guess who had to get him some Charmin? The CEO's wife had to go shopping. Guess who had to hold her purse in the couture shops? On a different program to Beaver Creek, CO we encountered a trip director's worst nightmare: virtually EVERYONE on the trip had lost their luggage. It didn't matter what part of the country they came from - No one had clothes on the first day (some even went the whole week). Of course, this was tragic to the women who had no make-up (or dresses, for that matter) for the first night's black-tie dinner, but we heard the biggest stink from the guy whose wife's BREAST PUMP was in their suitcase. 'I demand someone get us a new breast pump. My wife and kid are dyin' here!' I thought I'd vomit on the spot. Guess who got elected for breast-pump-searching-duty in the middle of a resort town? Yep, yours truly. After searching all over town, we finally went to a local hospital and got your ol' run-of-the-mill breast pump. When we gave it to the guy, you'd think he would have rejoiced. 'Thanks, but this doesn't look like the one she had. I'll let you know.' I had no idea there were so many varieties? Needless to say, he came back unsatisfied. 'My wife demands a better one. I don't care what it takes. This one is killing her!' Then I heard the best 'get your ass fired' quote from my coworker: 'Listen, Mr. So-and-So. If you're expecting us to find a fur-lined breast pump it just ain't going to happen! Tell her to deal with it.' I promise if I'm ever rich, I will treat all people with dignity. Or at least I'll never demand a better breast pump or softer toilet paper. |
883,178 | male | 36 | Fashion | Aries | 26,April,2004 | Ever wonder what to call your cousins' kids? The exact answer would be: they are your first cousins, once-removed. urlLink Go here to get the full answer. (My coworker and I are a little bored today.) |
883,178 | male | 36 | Fashion | Aries | 26,April,2004 | Some highlights from the best Mankato wedding of the year (considering it's the only one I've been to this year (and the only one I'll probably ever attend), it automatically qualifies): A most delicious buffet - meat and potatoes shut me up for a full 20 minutes Duf dancing with me during the 5-years-together-only couple dance (he didn't hear that announcement) The fruit punch (Duf or Hal could elaborate on this) The white wine (all I'm gonna say is, I only had 3-4 glasses and couldn't feel my extremities - either I was actually drinking vodka, or someone slipped me a mickey) Bon Jovi/DJS karaoke - w/air band Wake Me Up, Before You Go-Go - Molly Ringwald-inspired dancing ensued My hand ended up in some guy's mouth at the end of the evening. I guess that's how I said good-bye...in front of his fianc? Political debates - did you know urlLink 'The Manics' are Socialist? You better. Retching out of Hal's car window in the rain on the side of the highway. That was pleasant for all parties involved, I'm sure. Luckily, Duf was sleeping (but NOT snoring). DJ LZ sliding on her knees (in her wedding dress - hard core) across the dance floor into DJS' arms. Dropping all the contents of Hal's bag - whose cell phone is this? Speaking of cell phones, Hal ended up with 2 extra at the end of the night. ....Looking back on it now, we should have just stayed in Mankato. A loud HOLLA goes out to Hal for driving our asses home. Quote from her: 'I've never received more spoken and e-mailed apologies after a wedding, ever.' Photos coming soon. |
883,178 | male | 36 | Fashion | Aries | 26,April,2004 | Like a Good Neighbor I'd like to go into detail about the wedding of DJS and DJ LZ, but Hal and Duf would have to fill in the last 2 hours of that event. It's a little hazy (plus, I caught some weird stomach bug. The delicious buffet food must have gotten the better of me...). A month or so ago I got a knock on my apartment door. This by itself is weird since no one can get into our building without me buzzing him/her in. I first thought it was my building manager, but to be safe I asked 'who is it?' 'It's your neighbor from downstairs.' Immediately I thought 'oh crap, he's coming to complain about me making too much noise or something.' So I sheepishly opened the door. Neighbor:'Hi, I'm Brian. I live in the apartment underneath you. I play my guitar at night and was wondering if I make too much noise.' Me: 'No, I haven't heard a thing.' Neighbor: 'OK, well if it ever bothers you, let me know.' I think he wanted me to ask more about his guitar playing or about him in general, since after he asked about the noise he awkwardly stood there for what seemed like minutes. Me: 'Well, I'm kind of in the middle of something. It was nice to meet you.' Door closed. (and double-locked. Something wasn't right about this guy.) Last night I got another mysterious knock. Again, instinctively, I asked 'who is it?' 'It's your neighbor from downstairs.' So I thought he had come back to make sure he really hadn't been making more noise. I told him 'I haven't heard a thing. You're fine.' Neighbor: 'Oh good...actually I came up here because I was wondering if I could borrow your vacuum cleaner.' (kind of an odd request) Me: 'Um, sure. Is yours broken?' Neighbor: 'It's kind of in a transitional phase.' (Yes, he actually said that.) Me:'Ok, here you go.' Neighbor: 'I'll bring it back in a half hour.' He knocked again in a half hour, and when I opened the door I asked what his name was again. 'Pria.' Me: ''Pria'? That's an unusual name. Where does that come from?' Neighbor: (he looked like he didn't want to answer) 'Actually, it's my Buddhist name. But I try not to tell too many people about it. I picked 'Pria' because I thought it sounded more American. I try to keep it under wraps.' Me: (I'm thinking, 'This guy probably took one yoga class and decided he'd be Buddhist. He's as Minnesotan as the Vikings.') 'Ok, whatever. But I thought your name was Brian. Are you the same guy who came up here a few weeks ago?' Neighbor: 'Oh, well, sometimes I slip and give people a different name. My peers have much more Indian-based names, but 'Pria' is my name.' Me: 'Alright. Later, then, Pria.' Again, I closed my door and double-bolted it. 'Pria' scares me. |
883,178 | male | 36 | Fashion | Aries | 25,April,2004 | FF on the Lord's Day 1. Who's afraid of the big bad wolf? that would be me. but maybe after 'Buff Camp' I'd be able to take him. 2. What's your favorite movie line? ooo boy...digging around in my mental archives...I'd have to say that I don't remember a whole lot of lines from movies so I don't know if I have a favorite, persay....actually the only lines that I can remember right now are from movies that I watched over and over and over when I was growing up, the classics like 'Breakfast Club' and 'Sixteen Candles'. Here are a couple of gems from both: 'Soooo....are you two like boyfriend and girlfriend? steady dates?...luv-ahs?' -Bender 'Breakfast Club' 'Dong...where is my automobile??' Dong replies, drunk as a skunk on the front lawn: 'Automobile?? (makes car crashing noises) lake. big lake.' -Grandpa & Donger 'Sixteen Candles' 3. What's your favorite line from a song? one of them is: 'And all this time the river flowed. In the falling light of a northern sun If I had my way I'd take a boat from the river Men go crazy in congregations But they only get better One by one... One by one...' -Sting from 'All this Time' on The Soul Cages 4. What makes a wedding fun and memorable? the people definitely. and an open bar. 5. What do you daydream about? Right now it's trying to picture my career as a personal trainer. But a constant daydream I have is playing in a wildly successful and hugely popular band, playing in huge venues to thousands of people knowing our music. to be financially secure in doing that would be just awesome. Or I would also settle for being in a band that opens for bands like U2, Sting, John Mayer, Pete Yorn, Travis...the list could go on and on. |
883,178 | male | 36 | Fashion | Aries | 23,April,2004 | Odd FF 1. Who's afraid of the big bad wolf? His bark is worse than his bite 2. What's your favorite movie line? Gosh, a tough one. Gotta agree with Panda, Clerks has some gems basically anything Jay says. For the more obscure yet still close to my heart, Ill go with Lorna! or I know what you are youre a hustler! from the classic Mystic Pizza. Youd be surprised at how quotable that movie is. 3. What's your favorite line from a song? Impossible to pick one. But Ive always loved the following from U2s Whos Gonna Ride Your Wild Horses: Took a drive in the dirty rain/ To a place where the wind calls your name/ Only the trees and river laughing at you and me Hallelujah, heavens white rose/ The doors you open/ I just cant close You hear lyrics like that when you're 16 and its like you invented angst. 4. What makes a wedding fun and memorable? The people, hands down. The dress, the centerpieces, the music, the flowers, the booze - all nice, but it really all depends on the happy couple and their guests are they fun? Just like any other party. 5. What do you daydream about? Better question what DONT I daydream about? |
883,178 | male | 36 | Fashion | Aries | 22,April,2004 | Yes, Let's Start Our Own Five! By Duf 'Power to the People' Fer 1. Who's afraid of the big bad wolf? Oh, it a great play, and I like the movie with Elizabeth Taylor and Richard Burton too. Albee is a genius. It is perhaps his finest work. What? Oh... 2. What's your favorite movie line? First I have to say that when I read Panda's blog and found out that she was in high school when Single White Female came out, and then I thought of where I was at that same time, I felt as old as the hills. Pause for bone creak, take Geritol. My favorite movie quote comes from the Woody Allen movie Crimes and Misdemeanors . One subplot of the movie is that Clifford Stern (the Woody Allen character) is making a substantive documentary that he hopes to sell to PBS featuring a minor philosopher, Professor Levy, who has amazingly profound insights on life (but ends up killing himself, natch). At one point, the professor says: 'We're all faced throughout our lives with agonizing decisions, moral choices. Some are on a grand scale, most of these choices are on lesser points. But we define ourselves by the choices we have made. We are, in fact, the sum total of our choices. Events unfold so unpredictably, so unfairly. Human happiness does not seem to be included in the design of creation. It is only we, with our capacity to love that give meaning to the indifferent universe. And yet, most human beings seem to have the ability to keep trying and even try to find joy from simple things, like their family, their work, and from the hope that future generations might understand more.' With a nod to imdb. 3. What's your favorite line from a song? I literally could pick at least 100. There are so many lines from so many artists and so many songs. I will pick a few: From Wilco's 'Reservations': ...I know this isn't what you were wanting me to say How can I get closer and be further away From the truth that proves it's beautiful to lie I've got reservations about so many things but not about you... From Bruce Springsteen's 'Ghost of Tom Joad': ...The highway is alive tonight. But nobody's kiddin' nobody about where it goes. I'm sittin' downhere in the campfire light with the ghost of old Tom Joad... From Atmosphere's (a.k.a. MC Slug) 'Shhh' (which is an ode to Minneapolis): ...got trees and vegetation in the city I stay The rent's in the mail and I can always find a parking space The women outnumber the men two to one Got parks and zoos and things to do with my son The nightlife ain't all that, but that's okay I don't need to be distracted by the devil every day And the jobs ain't really too hard to find In fact, you could have mine if you knew how to rhyme... 4. What makes a wedding fun and memorable? (good luck, DJS!) Play 'Summer Nights' and 'Brick House' all you want: never, ever, ever play 'I Knew the Bride when She Used to Rock and Roll' and don't ever, ever, ever, ever play a Meatloaf song. Ever. I have been to weddings that cost $500, and I have been to weddings that cost $500,000. For me, what makes a wedding more than anything else, more than the reception, the food, the dress, the DJ, the band, the amount of booze, the fact that the party went on and on until the break of dawn is that there is some moment during the ceremony when the love that the couple feels for each other overwhelms the room. If that tender moment is present, and it is sincere and palpable, then the wedding, to me, is both fun and memorable. 5. What do you daydream about? Lots of things. Golf, travel, writing and ideas, my daughter, my wife, food, friends, co-workers, violence, art, sport, but mostly sex. If I am being totally honest, then I would admit that I daydream about sex a lot. In fact, my mind is starting to wander now... |
883,178 | male | 36 | Fashion | Aries | 22,April,2004 | Our Own Friday Five 1. Who's afraid of the big bad wolf? Most humans who encounter a wolf would probably be afraid of it, especially if it were big and bad. So the answer is: most humans. 2. What's your favorite movie line? This is totally random but in high school a friend of mine and I really got into the movie Single White Female . I worked at a movie theater during the time it was out, and it was playing at my theater, so we probably saw it at least 10 times. There was a scene where the psycho roommate, Hedy (Jennifer Jason Leigh's character) dressed up as the normal roommate, Allie (Bridget Fonda) and gave Allie's boyfriend oral pleasure (weird and gross, I know). Afterwards, when the guy finally figured out it wasn't actually his girlfriend (like a guy wouldn't know...c'mon) Hedy whispers very eerily in his ear, 'Hey, Mr. Sleepy Guy.' I actually used that as one of my quotes in my senior yearbook. Of course, no one got the reference, which is probably for the best. Another one would be from Clerks and is very appropriate for the impending weekend: 'Time to kick back, drink some beers, and smoke some weed!' 3. What's your favorite line from a song? Not sure if this has been asked before...I think mine would be from the song 'So Cruel' by U2 - 'And you need her like a drug.' I mean, how HOT is that? 4. What makes a wedding fun and memorable? (good luck, DJS!) Not too formal, good music, decent food, and an obviously happy couple. The best weddings I have been to were ones where the bride wasn't going ape-shit over the details, but having fun with the guests. Oh, and they can't play the 2 dumbest wedding songs ever: 'Summer Nights' and 'Brick House'. I'll sit those 2 out, thanks. 5. What do you daydream about? A world made only of chocolate...but what would happen during the summer months? |
883,178 | male | 36 | Fashion | Aries | 22,April,2004 | Having urlLink a rough day at the office in Slough? urlLink Try this! |
883,178 | male | 36 | Fashion | Aries | 21,April,2004 | He's my hero (Mr. Gervais, NOT Mr. Brent) and yours too. urlLink What's not to love? |
883,178 | male | 36 | Fashion | Aries | 20,April,2004 | Two Episodes In I couldn't wait. I cracked open The Office Series 2 last night and tore through 2 episodes. All I've got to say so far is this: Painful. The stuff that happens in the first couple of episodes made me cringe and then subsequently laugh uncomfortably. Sheer genius. I can't imagine what's going to happen in the next 4 episodes, but I'm sure comic hilarity will ensue. We definitely have to get a group together and watch these things. They might be coming with me on the plane to hot n' dirty Maui. |
883,178 | male | 36 | Fashion | Aries | 20,April,2004 | The possibility of making urlLink it into an American sitcom? For some reason, I can't see how it could work. |
883,178 | male | 36 | Fashion | Aries | 19,April,2004 | It's Time... The Office Series 2 is in stores now. Best Buy has it for a measly $19.99. Guess I know where I'm going over lunch. |
883,178 | male | 36 | Fashion | Aries | 19,April,2004 | 'Where I Used to Care There is Only Air' By Duf 'Over the Deep End (Again)' Fer Run (don't walk, run) and pick up urlLink this disc . They are a local band, and they are making a lot of noise. They could go national. At times their sound reminds me of The Cranberries (without the pro-life sermonizing). The disc is on the short side, eight tracks, sized like it was produced by The Strokes. Anyway, run (don't walk, run) and pick up a copy (or borrow mine and burn it). |
883,178 | male | 36 | Fashion | Aries | 16,April,2004 | The Extent of My Boredom You know when you're so keyed up for something (tests) and then when it (midterms) finally comes and goes and the stress has fallen (practical exams) and you're kind of left on idle for a while? You know how that feels? Well, that's what I'm going through now. I was so stressed out worrying about my midterms for my EMT class. Now, I'm on the other side of them and I've felt the weights lift from my shoulders, only to be replaced in a few weeks with a heavier set (finals) and then after that an ever heavier set still (national registry exams). So, I needed a diversion. I found one. Please see below: The banana's name? Nanny. |
883,178 | male | 36 | Fashion | Aries | 15,April,2004 | I've noticed a theme. Panda - moved to Chicago from Mpls. by her lonesome. Had a hell of a go at first. Ended up loving it, but eventually came to her senses and moved back to Mpls. DJS - moved to L.A. from Mpls. on his own. Had a hell of a go at first. Ended up loving it, but eventually came to his senses and moved back to Mpls. HAL - moved to London from Mpls. Had 3 dear friends with her, and still had a hell of a go at first (I didn't know my tear ducts could be put through such strenuous use). Going there was the best choice I've ever made. Eventually came to my senses and moved back to Mpls. Duf - moved to D.C. from Kansas. Can't speak for the success of the move, but we all know where he lives today. Point is, homesickness is not just for 12 year-olds at summer camp. And it's not all bad. I think that you'll be feeling a lot better in the next few weeks (unless, of course, you're made ill by traffic). In the meantime, I prescribe much blogging and phone use. And cut yourself a break, fight the frustration of not being able to fast-forward. Bask in the uncertainty (how great is it that you're not staring a cube wall right now?!) and scary-ness (I don't think 'bored senseless' comes to mind right now)! Some day, what you've done this past week will seem unthinkable. And I think it's pretty great to be in the part of your life while it's all still possible. My biggest concern... Bobby and Whitney live down there. They are bad influences. Please avoid them at all costs, BB!! I don't care how badly you seek 'new friends'! |
883,178 | male | 36 | Fashion | Aries | 14,April,2004 | So I've got a bit of insomnia this evening. Can't seem to shut the ol noggin down. having some anxiety-causing thoughts about moving, career change, loneliness..you know the usual stuff when you make huge life-altering change(s). I just want to fast forward through this down cycle and get to where I'm going to go, you know? gimme my instant gratification. I made the leap and I want to be rewarded...now. Of course, I know that life doesn't work that way but it's uncomfortable to be uncomfortable. I know we learn a lot about ourselves when we're taken outside our comfort zones, and it's good to really challenge yourself, yadda, yadda, yadda...but those principles aren't all that comforting at 1:43am on a Thursday morning in a strange city without friends and all you wanna do is go to sleep. but this will pass and I know I will arrive at where I'm supposed to be one day. I guess it's just a normal evening of insomnia... |
883,178 | male | 36 | Fashion | Aries | 14,April,2004 | Duf's looking mighty svelte. Or he's got a large melon for a head. |
883,178 | male | 36 | Fashion | Aries | 14,April,2004 | Fark Headline O' the Day By Duf Fer 'Woman fights to keep her 12 damn, dirty apes.' |
883,178 | male | 36 | Fashion | Aries | 13,April,2004 | Hey, Who's The Cat With The Gray Hair? Oh Shit...It's Me. As requested, here's the 5 of us (ahem) at Bass Babe's royal send off. I wondered why Duf opted to stand next to me, since his glaring white sweatshirt clashed with my earth-tone brown jacket. Oh well. Ah...good times, good times. |
883,178 | male | 36 | Fashion | Aries | 13,April,2004 | APB - Panda Yo, PB. Send me the stinky link to the pictures. Like an a-hole, I deleted it by accident. I'll get to changing the pic ASAP. Word, DJS |
883,178 | male | 36 | Fashion | Aries | 13,April,2004 | My Favorite Spam Subject Line of All Time By Duf 'How Do They Know Me So Well?' Fer 'U Still Dare To Fcuk Girls Out There With Ur Little Pe--nis?.' |
883,178 | male | 36 | Fashion | Aries | 13,April,2004 | Scripted Press Conference By Duf 'Trying to be Fair' Fer I need to start by saying that I although I am a (Big D) Democrat (always have been, always will be - well unless a Socialist Party gains momentum), I do have a healthy list of Republicans that I have liked. Arne Carlson has to go down as one of the best Governors Minnesota has ever had, and I quite admire John McCain. Eisenhower and Ford were not so bad, and (believe it or not) I find much to admire in the policies of George H.W. Bush the elder (a multilateralist who was moderate and broke his promise ('read my lips no new taxes') because it was for the good of the nation - in other words, he put our interests above his own, the definition of leadership) and Nixon (he opened relations with China and took us off the Gold Standard). Teddy Roosevelt basically started Presidential environmentalism and must be credited for the strength of our national parks system. So I feel I can be somewhat unbiased in evaluating Presidents. I must also add that my favorite quality in a President is intelligence. Vision is a very close second, and charisma is a somewhat distant third. That is why I absolutely adore Woodrow Wilson and Jimmy Carter (not a terribly effective President, but the best former President of all time). That is part of Dick Nixon's appeal to me. Yes, he was icky in a lot of respects, but he was brilliant too. Same with Clinton (who is intelligent, had a vision and had oodles of charisma. Boy did he have charisma. He had, as it turns out, too much charisma). The lack of intelligence that I perceive in George W. Bush and that I perceived in Ronald Reagan is the center of my issue with them. You cannot lead if you are not able to master the information, retention, strategic and diplomatic requirements of the job. If you are not the master of all the facts and figures, you cannot grasp complexities and subtleties, and you cannot connect the dots . Here is one part of my point. Reagan used to clear his calendar for two days in advance of a State of the Union address (just as an actor memorizes lines...). Bush, returned from 'vacation' last night to hold a 'scripted press conference' (not my words) where he visited with the press for one hour and took questions after a 20 minute speech. The questions were (for the most part) submitted in advance, and the answers were scripted. When one question was asked off the script, the President replied, without humor, that he 'wished you would have sent me that question in advance so that I could have prepared a response.' The question was (paraphrasing) you once said that the biggest mistake you made was trading Sammy Sosa. Now that you have been President for three years, would that still qualify as your biggest mistake? It hurts my heart that our leader does not have the ability to think on his feet and master a wide arrange of facts and information (I wondered during the press conference what he would have done if an unscripted question on Uzbekistan was asked.). Yes, the mistake question is a tricky question. Bush cannot admit mistakes related to 9-11 if he wants to be re-elected, and, in order to be responsive, he needed to come up with something that would qualify as a mistake (how about hiring Paul O'Neill?). Presidents who don't think on their feet and who lack their own ideas are not able to govern or lead. They are essentially figure heads. It all reminds me of the Wizard of Oz when the curtain gets pulled back and you find a diminutive man speaking into an amplifier. Presidents like Reagan and Bush Light are at the mercy of their advisors. No modern President can succeed without counsel, and I don't want to be misunderstood, but ultimately, we all do better when the President seeks input and then makes the final decision on what course we will take (see, e.g. President Kennedy and the Bay of Pigs Incident). I'm sorry, Presidents who spend days preparing for speeches and Press Conferences do not inspire that kind of image for me. |
883,178 | male | 36 | Fashion | Aries | 13,April,2004 | Fark Headline of the Day By Duf 'Who love ya' baby?' Fer 'New Miss USA likes super-sized value meals, bungee jumping, pig wrestling and has two master's degrees. Line starts here.' |
883,178 | male | 36 | Fashion | Aries | 12,April,2004 | Fuh-fuh-fuh Friday Fizzy: By DJS 1. What do you do for a living? God, I hate answering this question. I'm a #!$@ing trainer, okay? Happy? Oh, but I'm also an on-call firefighter/EMT, so I guess that makes it a little better, doesn't it? 2. What do you like most about your job? Main Job - Mad freedom - Get to do the 'creative' things around the office (videos, websites, newsletter) - The peeps I work with (Duf, HAL, Hawkeye, The Josh, DJ LZ) Other Job - Saving lives - Breaking down doors - Putting out fires - Talking to/comforting patients - Driving the big trucks - My new firefighting friends - The list goes on... 3. What do you like least about your job? For my main job: I honestly don't care about the company. Really. I care about the people in the company, but that's it. I don't get excited about new technologies or new changes in management or name-changes or any of that unimportant crap. It's hard to get excited about making some big fat slob, that I've never met, rich. My Other Job: I'll get back to you on that. So far, I like just about everything about it. I even like washing the trucks and ambulances. 4. When you have a bad day at work it's usually because _____... Main job: I showed up. Other job: Someone (especially kids) didn't make it. 5. What other career(s) are you interested in? Duf's got me pegged. I want to write for my full-time job. I don't even need to be rich. I'd be happy making what I make now writing. That way I can raise whatever kids Laura spits out and I'll feel more fulfilled career-wise. In lieu of that, I might pursue becoming a paramedic so that when I jump ship here to fight fires and save lives full-time, I'll be F'-in irresistible. |
883,178 | male | 36 | Fashion | Aries | 12,April,2004 | ATL in da hizzause by Bass 'Not so Hot' Babe hiya pandies...it's BB coming atcha live from Hotlanta. (although 55 degrees ain't friggin hot. wtf? I'm movin back) I'm somewhat settled and looking forward to starting 'buff camp' next week. it seems a bit surreal that I'm here and this is 'home' for the next 6 mos. You think and picture what it will be like for so long that it's strange that the moving day has actually past already. But I think good 'ol Pandyland and all the Pandies will keep me feeling like I'm right next door. Closed circuit to PB: thanks for the super list, really made my day...right back atcha on #10 :) FF y'all: 1. What do you do for a living? hmm...good question. I guess technically the title would be 'student/part-time musician/part-time jobber/part-time moocher' 2. What do you like most about your job? A number of things: Learning new things about something I'm very interested in: fitness Not going to work and sitting in a cubicle all day. part-time musician gig: I love performing in bars and clubs. part-time jobber: little to no responsibility at work. part-time moocher: I like the house I'm living in for the next 6 mos (thanks, bro!) 3. What do you like least about your job? Student: can't say yet. maybe the commute. Musician: hauling gear Jobber: not making enough money for bills and savings Moocher: not giving my bro and sister-in-law as much cash as I would like for letting me stay here. 4. When you have a bad day at work it's usually because _____... I'm tired and running late. 5. What other career(s) are you interested in? Once school is done, I'll be participating in the career I'm interested in right now. Other careers I might explore in the future: host of a travel show on the travel network. that's a sweet gig, imho. |
883,178 | male | 36 | Fashion | Aries | 09,April,2004 | The Five - sometimes it seems these questions never vary... 1. What do you do for a living? My official title is 'Project Manager', but doesn't everyone essentially do that? You're given tasks and need to manage and prioritize them until they're completed. What a load of horse shit. 2. What do you like most about your job? I finally have a boss who respects me and thinks I have some semblance of intelligence...although I haven't had a performance review yet. My company has been known to be a bit passive-aggressive and she may secretly hate me but I won't officially know this until a year from now. The other thing I like is my vacation - I started with 23 days and plan on using every single one. Carry over some to next year? I don't think so. 3. What do you like least about your job? The industry I'm in isn't exactly the most thrilling. Case in point: here are a few subject lines from my e-mails...'Renewal Appeal Time Study', 'Document Imaging - a Cost-Benefit Analysis', and 'Medical Underwriting Statistics.' All sleepers...Case closed. 4. When you have a bad day at work it's usually because _____... ...I'm bored out of my freakin' mind. 5. What other career(s) are you interested in? If I could do it all over again I would have done something related to medicine - either a pharmacist or dermatologist (the only type of doctor who can't outright kill someone - unless, of course, you misdiagnose skin cancer). And they make a damn killing by just prescribing skin cream. If I'd start something new with my current skills/education, I'd go into sales. I'd have to find something to sell that I really believe in - maybe I'd try dabbling in real estate. |
883,178 | male | 36 | Fashion | Aries | 09,April,2004 | Personalized Fark Headlines of the Day By Duf Fer For DJS: 'City's newest fire truck gets stuck in trash filled pothole that is several feet deep.' For BB: 'Man learns history of bass guitar he acquired, learns it was stolen in 1966. Returns it to the owner expecting nothing in return.' For HAL: 'Couple excited about new house - except for the pesky snake infestation. Previous owner suggests 'get a cat'.' For Panda Bear: 'Power of a kiss: medics talk.' |
883,178 | male | 36 | Fashion | Aries | 09,April,2004 | Friday Five on Monday By Duf 'I needed time to think' Fer 1. What do you do for a living ? I am living the dream, yo. I'm in middle management! 2. What do you like most about your job? Hands down: I like the people I work with. I also like that I have a lot of autonomy, but the people are what I love about this job. I work with DJS and HAL, and they aren't even the coolest people here! 3. What do you like least about your job? I would take a raise if I could get one. My California counterpart makes more than four times what I do. I know cost of living is different there, but it ain't that different. Not that I'm bitter or anything. 4. When you have a bad day at work it's usually because _____... I lose perspective on what is important and what isn't important. I get frustrated with the machine. 5. What other career(s) are you interested in? If I leave the real estate world, it will be to become a writer. DJS and I have the same dream there. |
883,178 | male | 36 | Fashion | Aries | 09,April,2004 | Not To Steal Duf's Thunder... Best Fark.com Headline of Yesterday: Elvis Costello to release two albums at same time, one for each fan Yes! Signed, DJ 'Not a Fan' Shovelpants |
883,178 | male | 36 | Fashion | Aries | 08,April,2004 | More Lists - Ode to BB and what I've seen with Netflix so far (with ratings!) As most of you know, our dear Bassy has left the state (temporarily). In honor of her, I'd like to list the things I love most about her*: 1) She's a kick-ass rock chick. 2) She's the most tolerant person I know (I wasn't the easiest to live with for 5 years). 3) I've never known anyone more forgiving. 4) She got me to like music I never considered before (ie - Sting). 5) She's a great drinking buddy. 6) She always laughs at my dumb jokes (no matter how many times I've told them). 7) She introduced me to a great hair stylist and dog. 8) She's stronger than she thinks she is. 9) Maybe someday she'll kick my butt into gear and be my personal trainer. 10) She will always be one of my best friends. Netflix? Go: 1) urlLink Valley Girl: Special Edition , 1983 (3.5 out of 5 stars) - Nic Cage w/ f-ed up teeth and new wave hair urlLink Talk to Her , 2002 (4 out of 5 stars) - so weird (there's a scene where a tiny man jumps into a woman's vagina), but very intriguing. urlLink The Virgin Suicides , 1999 (4 out of 5 stars) - Oh, Sofia Coppola...how I love thee. urlLink 84 Charing Cross Road , 1986 (4 out of 5 stars) - very 'Shadowlands'-esque urlLink Requiem for a Dream , 2000 (3 out of 5 stars) - made me physically ill and deterred me from drug use for the rest of my existence urlLink Happenstance , 2000 (3.5 out of 5 stars) - our dear Audrey Tautou is as cute as a button, but the ending is lack-luster. urlLink Camp , 2003 (4 out of 5 stars) - like musicals? Then you'll love this. Awesome score and what talent! urlLink Pieces of April , 2003 (4 out of 5 stars) - not great until the last 15 minutes. urlLink Raising Victor Vargas , 2003 (4.5 out of 5 stars) - the Latino grandmother steals the show. *not in any particular order. |
883,178 | male | 36 | Fashion | Aries | 07,April,2004 | Tomorrow is Good Friday - Good for so many reasons*... 1) I have the day off. 2) I'm going to opening day at Miller Park in Brew City. 3) I'm going to see the BU. 4) We recognize that Christ suffered for our sins. 5) Maybe there will be a new Friday Five. *not in any particular order. |
883,178 | male | 36 | Fashion | Aries | 07,April,2004 | urlLink Tell a chicken to jump , and he'll ask 'how high?'. |
883,178 | male | 36 | Fashion | Aries | 07,April,2004 | I Need to Respond, This is My Forum By Duf 'More Discreet than Condi' Fer Okay, so no doubt you have heard Condoleezza Rice's denial that our affair from August 2nd of 2001 through November of that same year, have any impact on national security. You also probably heard Dr. Rice's dismissive explanation that 'opposites attract' in response to questioning about how she could have a liaison with me when my views are not aligned well with the administration. First, I want to say that both Condi and I never imagined that our time together would become a focal point for the 9/11 Commission. We both wanted our love to be a quiet storm, an undetonated bomb. If either of us felt that there would be national security implications, we would have stopped immediately (although, I must say, we were both powerless to stop it at the time, powerless I tell you, powerless). Second: yes, it is true, we are political opposites. However, in the bedroom. I cannot tell you the extent of our accord. There, my friends, we were perfectly aligned. Perfectly. |
883,178 | male | 36 | Fashion | Aries | 07,April,2004 | Catching Up... urlLink Saw this and liked it, that Charlie Kaufman is a kook. urlLink Saw this and liked it (shhh, stop your hate). Ben is BACK! Wilco rocks. |
Subsets and Splits
No community queries yet
The top public SQL queries from the community will appear here once available.