Datasets:

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innovation-hacking2

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shitposting_dataset1

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[ "Imagine the work order. \nYour boss comes to you and says, \"Hey, you're in charge of the cats calendar.\"\n\"What calendar?\"\n\"The one with cats attacking infrastructure?\"\n\"What?\"", ">\n\nyou miss ONE day...", ">\n\nHail Vectron!", ">\n\nBy Vectron!", ">\n\nFor those yet to experience the holy might of Vectron's kindly claw", ">\n\nThank you. I had no idea.", ">\n\nYou are most welcome by Vectron", ">\n\nFor the love of all that is Vectron, your speech warms my Vectronic heart.", ">\n\nMay Vectron’s beard shed its benevolence upon us. 🙏🏻🙏🏻", ">\n\nAnd may all of his correspondence to us be sent Vectronically. So it is written, so shall it be done.", ">\n\nI live in Oregon and started to recognize a bunch of the dams, so I was like, “huh, that’s kinda cool.” Then I saw the text at the bottom of the first page. Portland District. Now a cat calendar makes perfect sense.", ">\n\nSame thing happened to me. I think I'm going to head to kinko's and have them print it out for me.", ">\n\nTell them you need to print some important official military documents before you show them what it is", ">\n\nDon’t forget to tell them you need it right meow!", ">\n\nWho will protect our infrastructure from this menace?", ">\n\nAn array of laser pointers.", ">\n\ncut to giant laser pointer satellite", ">\n\nomigod the jewish space lasers were real", ">\n\n*meowish space lasers", ">\n\nHey that's racist", ">\n\nI think it would be cheaper to buy a calendar than use the ink/toner required to print it.", ">\n\nThat's why you print it at work.", ">\n\nhaha true, oh wait I work from home...", ">\n\nIf you print from home for work you can write printer supplies off on your taxes :)", ">\n\nUh yes boss I needed a calendar, so… oh what? Use the company one? Ummm but the US army has a really nice one and I thought I’d be patriotic - what? Oh, yeah I know we’re in Canada, I just…", ">\n\nPortland is pretty much wannabe Vancouver, BC. I say it goes!", ">\n\nExactly what a Canadian would say...", ">\n\nGoodies, goodie goodie, yum yum.", ">\n\nI just scrolled until I found The Goodies reference but was wondering if I was going to find one at all.", ">\n\nIt's way down the list, isn't it? \n/knees hurt.", ">\n\nOw, my back! Get off my lawn!", ">\n\nOne engineer did it in his free time, and released it for use through the corps. \nThis was NOT government funded.", ">\n\nEven if it was government funded, I support this.", ">\n\nEven if it was government funded it would've been like maybe one day of pay at most? Not a ton for the amount of publicity they'll get that might make them even more money.", ">\n\nAssuming they already have the infrastructure pictures I would be surprised if it took more than 4 work hours. Also for chronically underfunded agencies that kind of PR is exactly how you get voters to convince the politicians to increase funds. I look forward to NASA figuring out how to photoshop giant cats playing with the planets like balls of yarn for their calendar", ">\n\n\nI look forward to NASA figuring out how to photoshop giant cats playing with the planets like balls of yarn for their calendar \n\nWell let me introduce you to the most bizarre social media messaging from an official U.S. government agency: The U.S. Consumer Product Safety Commission's Instagram feed. \nAnd before I catch any \"there's no way this is real\" replies, here's the Washington Post covering it: \n\nHow a federal bureaucrat uses astronaut babies and dogs riding pigeons to try to save your life", ">\n\nThis is rad!", ">\n\nCISA losing their shit rn", ">\n\nI would like one.", ">\n\nIt's a free PDF.", ">\n\nNo he would like one of the cats", ">\n\nyOu wOuLdN'T DoWnloAd a cAT", ">\n\nI can’t believe they included Sherlock getting knocked off a cliff. At least he didn’t jump this time.", ">\n\nI'm shocked that you're the only person I've seen comment on this so far! it's hilarious", ">\n\n\"Every year, dozens of cats attack important infrastructure for our country causing dozens of dollars of damage. Won't you help?\"", ">\n\nI heard this with Sarah McLoughlin's voice", ">\n\nArmy Cats", ">\n\nNow do it with pictures of our crumbling infrastructure.", ">\n\nThis seems like one of those things that is somehow going to age poorly given our Universe's current sense of irony. I don't know how exactly, but there's going to be some mass tragedy involving cats and a suspension bridge or something this year.", ">\n\nThe first image kind of reads like \"this infrastructure is super important so don't damage it\". The calendar almost seems like a shopping list for domestic terrorists or something lol.", ">\n\nI mean, pretty obvious that dams, substations, bridges and the like are good targets for chaos. Google maps gives you all this plus Police stations and everything, with photos and the address. Useless to worry about it", ">\n\nSeriously, anyone who unironicly think terrorists were waiting for a cat calendar to list a bunch of locations to bomb is paranoid about the wrong things.", ">\n\nCats would hunt and eat us if they were bigger than us", ">\n\nThey already do, they are called Tigers.", ">\n\nIf there were smaller tigers, we would keep them as pets, but they'd break all our stuff to prove they're still in charge.", ">\n\nThey already do, they are called Cats.", ">\n\nOH MY GOD!", ">\n\nMy tabby is a cute little tiger", ">\n\nI knew we had infrastructure challenges, but I didn't realize we were facing an infrastructure cat-astrophe!", ">\n\nTake my r/angryupvote", ">\n\nI love how shitty the photoshop is. Really ties it all together", ">\n\nYeah I like the idea--but the pictures chosen and color grading are all off. I'd like this idea better executed more professionally.", ">\n\nOh no I'm serious. The unprofessionalism is the best part. I would absolutely pay money for this", ">\n\nOnly only thing weirder is gonna be their crazy ass plan to save the infrastructure.", ">\n\nIt's the engineer Corp, they can build giant cat carriers.", ">\n\nI guess anything beats the 40 million they spend on viagra to keep the soldiers saluting.", ">\n\nThis is delightful", ">\n\ni was imagining mountain lions breaking in to dumpsters or something, not giant house cats gnawing on substations, not disappointed.", ">\n\nI don’t need a calendar now that our pocket rectangles handle all of that for us, but I really want this calendar.", ">\n\nIt is really convenient to just walk by my schedule versus having to pull it up, scroll, click and expand. I tend to forget about things if I don’t see it in front of me, but that’s just how my brain works. Plus if you’re on the phone trying to schedule something it’s nice to write it out too.", ">\n\nI'm sorry, we're already booked for giant spiders.", ">\n\nI personally kinda love this.", ">\n\nBest use of a miniscule amount of our tax dollars in the entire US $1.7T budget. US Army Corp wins the internet today!", ">\n\nHonestly, the entire army corps of engineers may be one of highest rates of return on public good vs funding", ">\n\nSeriously. They do a shit ton of quality and important public work on a relatively shoe-string budget for engineering. I have a lot of respect for the people that work at the USACOE.", ">\n\nSeptember, now that one is art", ">\n\nHaters will say it's Photoshop.", ">\n\nThey’ve never seen Catzilla.", ">\n\nHero of the Week! Hail yourself!", ">\n\nThere it is!", ">\n\n\nThe Army Corps Of Engineers Has Released a 2023 Calendar Of Giant Cats Attacking <\n\nr/brand new sentence \nAlso, giant cats attacking infrastructure is so 2020. In 2023 it just sounds silly.", ">\n\nSeptember ❤️", ">\n\nOmg. I love this. Especially the text blurbs on the pictures. Very funny and adorable!", ">\n\nSounds like they understand cats are required if you want social media traction", ">\n\nI have never wanted to buy a calendar more than I do now!", ">\n\nOn the one hand, I applaud the idea.\nOn the other hand, the photoshop skills look like they came from the army corps of engineers.", ">\n\nWould you actually want them to look like they were perfectly matched to each environment? I'm pretty sure the comedic effect is all that matters here.\nAnd besides, it was just one engineer that created this on their spare time, rather than an official ACE production.", ">\n\nI was mainly being a bit snarky because the internet. That, and what I said was objectively true.", ">\n\nCan confirm, the Corps of Engineers fuckkkkks", ">\n\nGoddammit I just bought my 2023 calendar too lol", ">\n\nThat’s cute though, not worrisome like a lot of other r/nottheonion posts.", ">\n\nAs ever, the Army Corps of Engineers are the one branch of the US state that can get the important shit done", ">\n\nFrom the comments ITT it's evident that most people are unaware of how important they are to the lives of the majority of productive people in this country (people who live near a coastline or a major body of water). It's not just dams and rivers, it's the actual physical coastline of america that they look after.", ">\n\nYup, it seems double edged- people think oh, they're the army corps and assumes they must be doing only military stuff. But equally if it was civilianised no doubt it'd be a target for cuts. An incredible org, regardless. And whether it's cats or weather or warming or the collapse of neglected infrastructure they're going to get more and more important so it's a damn good thing they exist because in 2023, nobody would invent them...", ">\n\nUSACE is an agency that is funded by the DOD but is vastly ran by civilians. There are very few enlisted or commissioned people in the army corps.", ">\n\nOK this is a thing and this is awesome", ">\n\nOops, I had \"Zombie Redneck Torture Family\" in the betting pool.", ">\n\nGrumble. Never gonna see a merman...", ">\n\nUSACE Portland District is one of the absolute best public sector social media presences out there. Seriously. Check it out.", ">\n\nCats in military pictures is an entire IG channel", ">\n\nGood boot", ">\n\nCommand team must be TDY", ">\n\nThat was even better than the title made me think it would be.", ">\n\nI support my tax dollars going to causes such as this.", ">\n\nFinally tax dollars doing something good", ">\n\nI’m kind of disappointed. From the title, I thought there would be photos of actual big cats attacking infrastructure, not photoshopped domestic cats. Anyone have a photo of a puma going after an electrical substation? Or a tiger gnawing on a water line?", ">\n\nNo. No one has that. Would be very interesting though to compile a calendar like that. Peace brother.", ">\n\nGreat, now I need a color printer.\nSeriously, thank you u/radioman8414!", ">\n\nThis is how I want my tax money spent. Downloaded and put up in my office!", ">\n\nThe regional social media guy who put this together is constantly hilarious", ">\n\nGreatest calendar of 2023.", ">\n\nI need one of these for my office! I've worked on some of these dams!", ">\n\nCan I ask you some dam questions?? I’m sure you know a lot of dam information. I’m sure all of us would love some dam stories. Thank you.", ">\n\nSure way to have a more interesting calendar than just infrastructure.", ">\n\nI would so adopt one if they existed.", ">\n\nI've heard army corps of engineers are very difficult to house train. May want to consider before adopting one.", ">\n\nTouché.", ">\n\nThat's amazing, thank you for posting it!", ">\n\nIs there anywhere to buy a nice physical copy of the calendar?", ">\n\nThose cats are mind-controlled by taxoplasmosis alien ameobas!", ">\n\nI was thinking this was gonna be mountain lions taking out maintenance huts or something like that. This is so much better", ">\n\nI’m the daughter of a former Portland, Oregon, US Army Corps Engineer, and I can confirm they are a strange crew. It makes me view the dams on the Columbia River fondly?", ">\n\nI love this so much.", ">\n\nDude. Awesome.", ">\n\nI love this! My astronomy teacher once did a talk on space cats. It was hysterical. Out of the blue he showed us pictures of space with cats added in. He felt we needed a fun class for laughs. I want this calendar.", ">\n\nThis would be really cool if they got a decent digital artist. But they didn't, they used photoshop about as well as I can.", ">\n\nI think that adds to the charm", ">\n\nDon't even need to see it, where can I buy it", ">\n\nFrom the link - \"Because the Army Corps is a Government Agency, the calendar is in public domain and totally free to download and print\"", ">\n\nThis is so funny, because it’s my Dad’s old workplace (from 1971 until he retired). My father, however, has zero sense of humor so he’d never work on something like this.", ">\n\nI met a guy from the Army Corps of Engineers when I worked for the EPA. Smartest guy I've ever met and the 2nd most hippe like person I've ever met. I'd like to think he had something to do with this idea.", ">\n\nFinally the massive military budget of the US is put to good use.", ">\n\nThis is awesome. I might have to buy one.", ">\n\nNo need. It's free, though you have to print it yourself if you want a physical copy", ">\n\nThis is so adorable! I approve wholeheartedly.", ">\n\nIt's about time.", ">\n\nSappers lead the way", ">\n\nI have so much love for this.", ">\n\nEhisssayons.", ">\n\nLove it.", ">\n\nUnintended benefits of relaxed Marijuana policies :)", ">\n\nUsace has not relaxed cannabis policies. No federal agency has", ">\n\nThey certainly have relaxed policy, even though federal law hasn't changed. It's legal in my state and the current administration has announced they won't be pursuing user level Marijuana charges at the federal level.\nWake up.", ">\n\nUSACE still falls under the same policies as the rest of the army. They're treated as DA civilians, and subject to periodic biochemical testing and the resultant consequences if they pee hot. The army has, and will not in the foreseeable future, relax any policy regarding marijuana.", ">\n\nAdorable idea; wish they had hired someone better at photoshop", ">\n\nIts a free gag calendar that was probably just put together by someone for fun in their spare time. Considering the state of infrastructure in the US I don't imagine the Corps of Engineers has a lot of extra spending money to throw around", ">\n\nIf they were smart, they would print it for us and sell it. I don't want a crappy calender that I printed on regular paper, I want the real thing and I would be glad to pay for it.", ">\n\nGenius!! This needs to be a trend. Reddit, make it so...", ">\n\nfuck yeah we finally gonna balance the budget", ">\n\nDecember's hilarious. I want this calender.", ">\n\nYou can totally tell that this is not real. The lighting on the cats is so obviously different than the environmental mistake. Pathetic effort infrastructure geeks.", ">\n\nSo they can blame cats for shoddy workmanship and lax maintenance.", ">\n\nDon't capitalize \"Of\" in titles", ">\n\nWish they'd focus on not taking eight years to permit a fucking project, those lazy excuses for engineers.", ">\n\nYou’re crazy dude. These peeps have built some amazing things. Extremely impressive.", ">\n\nThey used to.", ">\n\n😂", ">\n\nThis whole absurd thing is exactly my sense of humour. LOVE it.", ">\n\nOregon! I've seen the one at Detroit Dam. Sneaky bugger. Hangs out with Bigfoot.", ">\n\nI need this", ">\n\nThat's some adorable terrorism right there.", ">\n\nI remember seeing them, on quad bikes, with a lot of equipment, on Myrtle Beach beaches, I always wondered what they were doing..." ]

[ "Imagine the work order. \nYour boss comes to you and says, \"Hey, you're in charge of the cats calendar.\"\n\"What calendar?\"\n\"The one with cats attacking infrastructure?\"\n\"What?\"", ">\n\nyou miss ONE day...", ">\n\nHail Vectron!", ">\n\nBy Vectron!", ">\n\nFor those yet to experience the holy might of Vectron's kindly claw", ">\n\nThank you. I had no idea.", ">\n\nYou are most welcome by Vectron", ">\n\nFor the love of all that is Vectron, your speech warms my Vectronic heart.", ">\n\nMay Vectron’s beard shed its benevolence upon us. 🙏🏻🙏🏻", ">\n\nAnd may all of his correspondence to us be sent Vectronically. So it is written, so shall it be done.", ">\n\nI live in Oregon and started to recognize a bunch of the dams, so I was like, “huh, that’s kinda cool.” Then I saw the text at the bottom of the first page. Portland District. Now a cat calendar makes perfect sense.", ">\n\nSame thing happened to me. I think I'm going to head to kinko's and have them print it out for me.", ">\n\nTell them you need to print some important official military documents before you show them what it is", ">\n\nDon’t forget to tell them you need it right meow!", ">\n\nWho will protect our infrastructure from this menace?", ">\n\nAn array of laser pointers.", ">\n\ncut to giant laser pointer satellite", ">\n\nomigod the jewish space lasers were real", ">\n\n*meowish space lasers", ">\n\nHey that's racist", ">\n\nI think it would be cheaper to buy a calendar than use the ink/toner required to print it.", ">\n\nThat's why you print it at work.", ">\n\nhaha true, oh wait I work from home...", ">\n\nIf you print from home for work you can write printer supplies off on your taxes :)", ">\n\nUh yes boss I needed a calendar, so… oh what? Use the company one? Ummm but the US army has a really nice one and I thought I’d be patriotic - what? Oh, yeah I know we’re in Canada, I just…", ">\n\nPortland is pretty much wannabe Vancouver, BC. I say it goes!", ">\n\nExactly what a Canadian would say...", ">\n\nGoodies, goodie goodie, yum yum.", ">\n\nI just scrolled until I found The Goodies reference but was wondering if I was going to find one at all.", ">\n\nIt's way down the list, isn't it? \n/knees hurt.", ">\n\nOw, my back! Get off my lawn!", ">\n\nOne engineer did it in his free time, and released it for use through the corps. \nThis was NOT government funded.", ">\n\nEven if it was government funded, I support this.", ">\n\nEven if it was government funded it would've been like maybe one day of pay at most? Not a ton for the amount of publicity they'll get that might make them even more money.", ">\n\nAssuming they already have the infrastructure pictures I would be surprised if it took more than 4 work hours. Also for chronically underfunded agencies that kind of PR is exactly how you get voters to convince the politicians to increase funds. I look forward to NASA figuring out how to photoshop giant cats playing with the planets like balls of yarn for their calendar", ">\n\n\nI look forward to NASA figuring out how to photoshop giant cats playing with the planets like balls of yarn for their calendar \n\nWell let me introduce you to the most bizarre social media messaging from an official U.S. government agency: The U.S. Consumer Product Safety Commission's Instagram feed. \nAnd before I catch any \"there's no way this is real\" replies, here's the Washington Post covering it: \n\nHow a federal bureaucrat uses astronaut babies and dogs riding pigeons to try to save your life", ">\n\nThis is rad!", ">\n\nCISA losing their shit rn", ">\n\nI would like one.", ">\n\nIt's a free PDF.", ">\n\nNo he would like one of the cats", ">\n\nyOu wOuLdN'T DoWnloAd a cAT", ">\n\nI can’t believe they included Sherlock getting knocked off a cliff. At least he didn’t jump this time.", ">\n\nI'm shocked that you're the only person I've seen comment on this so far! it's hilarious", ">\n\n\"Every year, dozens of cats attack important infrastructure for our country causing dozens of dollars of damage. Won't you help?\"", ">\n\nI heard this with Sarah McLoughlin's voice", ">\n\nArmy Cats", ">\n\nNow do it with pictures of our crumbling infrastructure.", ">\n\nThis seems like one of those things that is somehow going to age poorly given our Universe's current sense of irony. I don't know how exactly, but there's going to be some mass tragedy involving cats and a suspension bridge or something this year.", ">\n\nThe first image kind of reads like \"this infrastructure is super important so don't damage it\". The calendar almost seems like a shopping list for domestic terrorists or something lol.", ">\n\nI mean, pretty obvious that dams, substations, bridges and the like are good targets for chaos. Google maps gives you all this plus Police stations and everything, with photos and the address. Useless to worry about it", ">\n\nSeriously, anyone who unironicly think terrorists were waiting for a cat calendar to list a bunch of locations to bomb is paranoid about the wrong things.", ">\n\nCats would hunt and eat us if they were bigger than us", ">\n\nThey already do, they are called Tigers.", ">\n\nIf there were smaller tigers, we would keep them as pets, but they'd break all our stuff to prove they're still in charge.", ">\n\nThey already do, they are called Cats.", ">\n\nOH MY GOD!", ">\n\nMy tabby is a cute little tiger", ">\n\nI knew we had infrastructure challenges, but I didn't realize we were facing an infrastructure cat-astrophe!", ">\n\nTake my r/angryupvote", ">\n\nI love how shitty the photoshop is. Really ties it all together", ">\n\nYeah I like the idea--but the pictures chosen and color grading are all off. I'd like this idea better executed more professionally.", ">\n\nOh no I'm serious. The unprofessionalism is the best part. I would absolutely pay money for this", ">\n\nOnly only thing weirder is gonna be their crazy ass plan to save the infrastructure.", ">\n\nIt's the engineer Corp, they can build giant cat carriers.", ">\n\nI guess anything beats the 40 million they spend on viagra to keep the soldiers saluting.", ">\n\nThis is delightful", ">\n\ni was imagining mountain lions breaking in to dumpsters or something, not giant house cats gnawing on substations, not disappointed.", ">\n\nI don’t need a calendar now that our pocket rectangles handle all of that for us, but I really want this calendar.", ">\n\nIt is really convenient to just walk by my schedule versus having to pull it up, scroll, click and expand. I tend to forget about things if I don’t see it in front of me, but that’s just how my brain works. Plus if you’re on the phone trying to schedule something it’s nice to write it out too.", ">\n\nI'm sorry, we're already booked for giant spiders.", ">\n\nI personally kinda love this.", ">\n\nBest use of a miniscule amount of our tax dollars in the entire US $1.7T budget. US Army Corp wins the internet today!", ">\n\nHonestly, the entire army corps of engineers may be one of highest rates of return on public good vs funding", ">\n\nSeriously. They do a shit ton of quality and important public work on a relatively shoe-string budget for engineering. I have a lot of respect for the people that work at the USACOE.", ">\n\nSeptember, now that one is art", ">\n\nHaters will say it's Photoshop.", ">\n\nThey’ve never seen Catzilla.", ">\n\nHero of the Week! Hail yourself!", ">\n\nThere it is!", ">\n\n\nThe Army Corps Of Engineers Has Released a 2023 Calendar Of Giant Cats Attacking <\n\nr/brand new sentence \nAlso, giant cats attacking infrastructure is so 2020. In 2023 it just sounds silly.", ">\n\nSeptember ❤️", ">\n\nOmg. I love this. Especially the text blurbs on the pictures. Very funny and adorable!", ">\n\nSounds like they understand cats are required if you want social media traction", ">\n\nI have never wanted to buy a calendar more than I do now!", ">\n\nOn the one hand, I applaud the idea.\nOn the other hand, the photoshop skills look like they came from the army corps of engineers.", ">\n\nWould you actually want them to look like they were perfectly matched to each environment? I'm pretty sure the comedic effect is all that matters here.\nAnd besides, it was just one engineer that created this on their spare time, rather than an official ACE production.", ">\n\nI was mainly being a bit snarky because the internet. That, and what I said was objectively true.", ">\n\nCan confirm, the Corps of Engineers fuckkkkks", ">\n\nGoddammit I just bought my 2023 calendar too lol", ">\n\nThat’s cute though, not worrisome like a lot of other r/nottheonion posts.", ">\n\nAs ever, the Army Corps of Engineers are the one branch of the US state that can get the important shit done", ">\n\nFrom the comments ITT it's evident that most people are unaware of how important they are to the lives of the majority of productive people in this country (people who live near a coastline or a major body of water). It's not just dams and rivers, it's the actual physical coastline of america that they look after.", ">\n\nYup, it seems double edged- people think oh, they're the army corps and assumes they must be doing only military stuff. But equally if it was civilianised no doubt it'd be a target for cuts. An incredible org, regardless. And whether it's cats or weather or warming or the collapse of neglected infrastructure they're going to get more and more important so it's a damn good thing they exist because in 2023, nobody would invent them...", ">\n\nUSACE is an agency that is funded by the DOD but is vastly ran by civilians. There are very few enlisted or commissioned people in the army corps.", ">\n\nOK this is a thing and this is awesome", ">\n\nOops, I had \"Zombie Redneck Torture Family\" in the betting pool.", ">\n\nGrumble. Never gonna see a merman...", ">\n\nUSACE Portland District is one of the absolute best public sector social media presences out there. Seriously. Check it out.", ">\n\nCats in military pictures is an entire IG channel", ">\n\nGood boot", ">\n\nCommand team must be TDY", ">\n\nThat was even better than the title made me think it would be.", ">\n\nI support my tax dollars going to causes such as this.", ">\n\nFinally tax dollars doing something good", ">\n\nI’m kind of disappointed. From the title, I thought there would be photos of actual big cats attacking infrastructure, not photoshopped domestic cats. Anyone have a photo of a puma going after an electrical substation? Or a tiger gnawing on a water line?", ">\n\nNo. No one has that. Would be very interesting though to compile a calendar like that. Peace brother.", ">\n\nGreat, now I need a color printer.\nSeriously, thank you u/radioman8414!", ">\n\nThis is how I want my tax money spent. Downloaded and put up in my office!", ">\n\nThe regional social media guy who put this together is constantly hilarious", ">\n\nGreatest calendar of 2023.", ">\n\nI need one of these for my office! I've worked on some of these dams!", ">\n\nCan I ask you some dam questions?? I’m sure you know a lot of dam information. I’m sure all of us would love some dam stories. Thank you.", ">\n\nSure way to have a more interesting calendar than just infrastructure.", ">\n\nI would so adopt one if they existed.", ">\n\nI've heard army corps of engineers are very difficult to house train. May want to consider before adopting one.", ">\n\nTouché.", ">\n\nThat's amazing, thank you for posting it!", ">\n\nIs there anywhere to buy a nice physical copy of the calendar?", ">\n\nThose cats are mind-controlled by taxoplasmosis alien ameobas!", ">\n\nI was thinking this was gonna be mountain lions taking out maintenance huts or something like that. This is so much better", ">\n\nI’m the daughter of a former Portland, Oregon, US Army Corps Engineer, and I can confirm they are a strange crew. It makes me view the dams on the Columbia River fondly?", ">\n\nI love this so much.", ">\n\nDude. Awesome.", ">\n\nI love this! My astronomy teacher once did a talk on space cats. It was hysterical. Out of the blue he showed us pictures of space with cats added in. He felt we needed a fun class for laughs. I want this calendar.", ">\n\nThis would be really cool if they got a decent digital artist. But they didn't, they used photoshop about as well as I can.", ">\n\nI think that adds to the charm", ">\n\nDon't even need to see it, where can I buy it", ">\n\nFrom the link - \"Because the Army Corps is a Government Agency, the calendar is in public domain and totally free to download and print\"", ">\n\nThis is so funny, because it’s my Dad’s old workplace (from 1971 until he retired). My father, however, has zero sense of humor so he’d never work on something like this.", ">\n\nI met a guy from the Army Corps of Engineers when I worked for the EPA. Smartest guy I've ever met and the 2nd most hippe like person I've ever met. I'd like to think he had something to do with this idea.", ">\n\nFinally the massive military budget of the US is put to good use.", ">\n\nThis is awesome. I might have to buy one.", ">\n\nNo need. It's free, though you have to print it yourself if you want a physical copy", ">\n\nThis is so adorable! I approve wholeheartedly.", ">\n\nIt's about time.", ">\n\nSappers lead the way", ">\n\nI have so much love for this.", ">\n\nEhisssayons.", ">\n\nLove it.", ">\n\nUnintended benefits of relaxed Marijuana policies :)", ">\n\nUsace has not relaxed cannabis policies. No federal agency has", ">\n\nThey certainly have relaxed policy, even though federal law hasn't changed. It's legal in my state and the current administration has announced they won't be pursuing user level Marijuana charges at the federal level.\nWake up.", ">\n\nUSACE still falls under the same policies as the rest of the army. They're treated as DA civilians, and subject to periodic biochemical testing and the resultant consequences if they pee hot. The army has, and will not in the foreseeable future, relax any policy regarding marijuana.", ">\n\nAdorable idea; wish they had hired someone better at photoshop", ">\n\nIts a free gag calendar that was probably just put together by someone for fun in their spare time. Considering the state of infrastructure in the US I don't imagine the Corps of Engineers has a lot of extra spending money to throw around", ">\n\nIf they were smart, they would print it for us and sell it. I don't want a crappy calender that I printed on regular paper, I want the real thing and I would be glad to pay for it.", ">\n\nGenius!! This needs to be a trend. Reddit, make it so...", ">\n\nfuck yeah we finally gonna balance the budget", ">\n\nDecember's hilarious. I want this calender.", ">\n\nYou can totally tell that this is not real. The lighting on the cats is so obviously different than the environmental mistake. Pathetic effort infrastructure geeks.", ">\n\nSo they can blame cats for shoddy workmanship and lax maintenance.", ">\n\nDon't capitalize \"Of\" in titles", ">\n\nWish they'd focus on not taking eight years to permit a fucking project, those lazy excuses for engineers.", ">\n\nYou’re crazy dude. These peeps have built some amazing things. Extremely impressive.", ">\n\nThey used to.", ">\n\n😂", ">\n\nThis whole absurd thing is exactly my sense of humour. LOVE it.", ">\n\nOregon! I've seen the one at Detroit Dam. Sneaky bugger. Hangs out with Bigfoot.", ">\n\nI need this", ">\n\nThat's some adorable terrorism right there.", ">\n\nI remember seeing them, on quad bikes, with a lot of equipment, on Myrtle Beach beaches, I always wondered what they were doing...", ">\n\nI love this sequel to Beginning of the End!" ]

[ "Imagine the work order. \nYour boss comes to you and says, \"Hey, you're in charge of the cats calendar.\"\n\"What calendar?\"\n\"The one with cats attacking infrastructure?\"\n\"What?\"", ">\n\nyou miss ONE day...", ">\n\nHail Vectron!", ">\n\nBy Vectron!", ">\n\nFor those yet to experience the holy might of Vectron's kindly claw", ">\n\nThank you. I had no idea.", ">\n\nYou are most welcome by Vectron", ">\n\nFor the love of all that is Vectron, your speech warms my Vectronic heart.", ">\n\nMay Vectron’s beard shed its benevolence upon us. 🙏🏻🙏🏻", ">\n\nAnd may all of his correspondence to us be sent Vectronically. So it is written, so shall it be done.", ">\n\nI live in Oregon and started to recognize a bunch of the dams, so I was like, “huh, that’s kinda cool.” Then I saw the text at the bottom of the first page. Portland District. Now a cat calendar makes perfect sense.", ">\n\nSame thing happened to me. I think I'm going to head to kinko's and have them print it out for me.", ">\n\nTell them you need to print some important official military documents before you show them what it is", ">\n\nDon’t forget to tell them you need it right meow!", ">\n\nWho will protect our infrastructure from this menace?", ">\n\nAn array of laser pointers.", ">\n\ncut to giant laser pointer satellite", ">\n\nomigod the jewish space lasers were real", ">\n\n*meowish space lasers", ">\n\nHey that's racist", ">\n\nI think it would be cheaper to buy a calendar than use the ink/toner required to print it.", ">\n\nThat's why you print it at work.", ">\n\nhaha true, oh wait I work from home...", ">\n\nIf you print from home for work you can write printer supplies off on your taxes :)", ">\n\nUh yes boss I needed a calendar, so… oh what? Use the company one? Ummm but the US army has a really nice one and I thought I’d be patriotic - what? Oh, yeah I know we’re in Canada, I just…", ">\n\nPortland is pretty much wannabe Vancouver, BC. I say it goes!", ">\n\nExactly what a Canadian would say...", ">\n\nGoodies, goodie goodie, yum yum.", ">\n\nI just scrolled until I found The Goodies reference but was wondering if I was going to find one at all.", ">\n\nIt's way down the list, isn't it? \n/knees hurt.", ">\n\nOw, my back! Get off my lawn!", ">\n\nOne engineer did it in his free time, and released it for use through the corps. \nThis was NOT government funded.", ">\n\nEven if it was government funded, I support this.", ">\n\nEven if it was government funded it would've been like maybe one day of pay at most? Not a ton for the amount of publicity they'll get that might make them even more money.", ">\n\nAssuming they already have the infrastructure pictures I would be surprised if it took more than 4 work hours. Also for chronically underfunded agencies that kind of PR is exactly how you get voters to convince the politicians to increase funds. I look forward to NASA figuring out how to photoshop giant cats playing with the planets like balls of yarn for their calendar", ">\n\n\nI look forward to NASA figuring out how to photoshop giant cats playing with the planets like balls of yarn for their calendar \n\nWell let me introduce you to the most bizarre social media messaging from an official U.S. government agency: The U.S. Consumer Product Safety Commission's Instagram feed. \nAnd before I catch any \"there's no way this is real\" replies, here's the Washington Post covering it: \n\nHow a federal bureaucrat uses astronaut babies and dogs riding pigeons to try to save your life", ">\n\nThis is rad!", ">\n\nCISA losing their shit rn", ">\n\nI would like one.", ">\n\nIt's a free PDF.", ">\n\nNo he would like one of the cats", ">\n\nyOu wOuLdN'T DoWnloAd a cAT", ">\n\nI can’t believe they included Sherlock getting knocked off a cliff. At least he didn’t jump this time.", ">\n\nI'm shocked that you're the only person I've seen comment on this so far! it's hilarious", ">\n\n\"Every year, dozens of cats attack important infrastructure for our country causing dozens of dollars of damage. Won't you help?\"", ">\n\nI heard this with Sarah McLoughlin's voice", ">\n\nArmy Cats", ">\n\nNow do it with pictures of our crumbling infrastructure.", ">\n\nThis seems like one of those things that is somehow going to age poorly given our Universe's current sense of irony. I don't know how exactly, but there's going to be some mass tragedy involving cats and a suspension bridge or something this year.", ">\n\nThe first image kind of reads like \"this infrastructure is super important so don't damage it\". The calendar almost seems like a shopping list for domestic terrorists or something lol.", ">\n\nI mean, pretty obvious that dams, substations, bridges and the like are good targets for chaos. Google maps gives you all this plus Police stations and everything, with photos and the address. Useless to worry about it", ">\n\nSeriously, anyone who unironicly think terrorists were waiting for a cat calendar to list a bunch of locations to bomb is paranoid about the wrong things.", ">\n\nCats would hunt and eat us if they were bigger than us", ">\n\nThey already do, they are called Tigers.", ">\n\nIf there were smaller tigers, we would keep them as pets, but they'd break all our stuff to prove they're still in charge.", ">\n\nThey already do, they are called Cats.", ">\n\nOH MY GOD!", ">\n\nMy tabby is a cute little tiger", ">\n\nI knew we had infrastructure challenges, but I didn't realize we were facing an infrastructure cat-astrophe!", ">\n\nTake my r/angryupvote", ">\n\nI love how shitty the photoshop is. Really ties it all together", ">\n\nYeah I like the idea--but the pictures chosen and color grading are all off. I'd like this idea better executed more professionally.", ">\n\nOh no I'm serious. The unprofessionalism is the best part. I would absolutely pay money for this", ">\n\nOnly only thing weirder is gonna be their crazy ass plan to save the infrastructure.", ">\n\nIt's the engineer Corp, they can build giant cat carriers.", ">\n\nI guess anything beats the 40 million they spend on viagra to keep the soldiers saluting.", ">\n\nThis is delightful", ">\n\ni was imagining mountain lions breaking in to dumpsters or something, not giant house cats gnawing on substations, not disappointed.", ">\n\nI don’t need a calendar now that our pocket rectangles handle all of that for us, but I really want this calendar.", ">\n\nIt is really convenient to just walk by my schedule versus having to pull it up, scroll, click and expand. I tend to forget about things if I don’t see it in front of me, but that’s just how my brain works. Plus if you’re on the phone trying to schedule something it’s nice to write it out too.", ">\n\nI'm sorry, we're already booked for giant spiders.", ">\n\nI personally kinda love this.", ">\n\nBest use of a miniscule amount of our tax dollars in the entire US $1.7T budget. US Army Corp wins the internet today!", ">\n\nHonestly, the entire army corps of engineers may be one of highest rates of return on public good vs funding", ">\n\nSeriously. They do a shit ton of quality and important public work on a relatively shoe-string budget for engineering. I have a lot of respect for the people that work at the USACOE.", ">\n\nSeptember, now that one is art", ">\n\nHaters will say it's Photoshop.", ">\n\nThey’ve never seen Catzilla.", ">\n\nHero of the Week! Hail yourself!", ">\n\nThere it is!", ">\n\n\nThe Army Corps Of Engineers Has Released a 2023 Calendar Of Giant Cats Attacking <\n\nr/brand new sentence \nAlso, giant cats attacking infrastructure is so 2020. In 2023 it just sounds silly.", ">\n\nSeptember ❤️", ">\n\nOmg. I love this. Especially the text blurbs on the pictures. Very funny and adorable!", ">\n\nSounds like they understand cats are required if you want social media traction", ">\n\nI have never wanted to buy a calendar more than I do now!", ">\n\nOn the one hand, I applaud the idea.\nOn the other hand, the photoshop skills look like they came from the army corps of engineers.", ">\n\nWould you actually want them to look like they were perfectly matched to each environment? I'm pretty sure the comedic effect is all that matters here.\nAnd besides, it was just one engineer that created this on their spare time, rather than an official ACE production.", ">\n\nI was mainly being a bit snarky because the internet. That, and what I said was objectively true.", ">\n\nCan confirm, the Corps of Engineers fuckkkkks", ">\n\nGoddammit I just bought my 2023 calendar too lol", ">\n\nThat’s cute though, not worrisome like a lot of other r/nottheonion posts.", ">\n\nAs ever, the Army Corps of Engineers are the one branch of the US state that can get the important shit done", ">\n\nFrom the comments ITT it's evident that most people are unaware of how important they are to the lives of the majority of productive people in this country (people who live near a coastline or a major body of water). It's not just dams and rivers, it's the actual physical coastline of america that they look after.", ">\n\nYup, it seems double edged- people think oh, they're the army corps and assumes they must be doing only military stuff. But equally if it was civilianised no doubt it'd be a target for cuts. An incredible org, regardless. And whether it's cats or weather or warming or the collapse of neglected infrastructure they're going to get more and more important so it's a damn good thing they exist because in 2023, nobody would invent them...", ">\n\nUSACE is an agency that is funded by the DOD but is vastly ran by civilians. There are very few enlisted or commissioned people in the army corps.", ">\n\nOK this is a thing and this is awesome", ">\n\nOops, I had \"Zombie Redneck Torture Family\" in the betting pool.", ">\n\nGrumble. Never gonna see a merman...", ">\n\nUSACE Portland District is one of the absolute best public sector social media presences out there. Seriously. Check it out.", ">\n\nCats in military pictures is an entire IG channel", ">\n\nGood boot", ">\n\nCommand team must be TDY", ">\n\nThat was even better than the title made me think it would be.", ">\n\nI support my tax dollars going to causes such as this.", ">\n\nFinally tax dollars doing something good", ">\n\nI’m kind of disappointed. From the title, I thought there would be photos of actual big cats attacking infrastructure, not photoshopped domestic cats. Anyone have a photo of a puma going after an electrical substation? Or a tiger gnawing on a water line?", ">\n\nNo. No one has that. Would be very interesting though to compile a calendar like that. Peace brother.", ">\n\nGreat, now I need a color printer.\nSeriously, thank you u/radioman8414!", ">\n\nThis is how I want my tax money spent. Downloaded and put up in my office!", ">\n\nThe regional social media guy who put this together is constantly hilarious", ">\n\nGreatest calendar of 2023.", ">\n\nI need one of these for my office! I've worked on some of these dams!", ">\n\nCan I ask you some dam questions?? I’m sure you know a lot of dam information. I’m sure all of us would love some dam stories. Thank you.", ">\n\nSure way to have a more interesting calendar than just infrastructure.", ">\n\nI would so adopt one if they existed.", ">\n\nI've heard army corps of engineers are very difficult to house train. May want to consider before adopting one.", ">\n\nTouché.", ">\n\nThat's amazing, thank you for posting it!", ">\n\nIs there anywhere to buy a nice physical copy of the calendar?", ">\n\nThose cats are mind-controlled by taxoplasmosis alien ameobas!", ">\n\nI was thinking this was gonna be mountain lions taking out maintenance huts or something like that. This is so much better", ">\n\nI’m the daughter of a former Portland, Oregon, US Army Corps Engineer, and I can confirm they are a strange crew. It makes me view the dams on the Columbia River fondly?", ">\n\nI love this so much.", ">\n\nDude. Awesome.", ">\n\nI love this! My astronomy teacher once did a talk on space cats. It was hysterical. Out of the blue he showed us pictures of space with cats added in. He felt we needed a fun class for laughs. I want this calendar.", ">\n\nThis would be really cool if they got a decent digital artist. But they didn't, they used photoshop about as well as I can.", ">\n\nI think that adds to the charm", ">\n\nDon't even need to see it, where can I buy it", ">\n\nFrom the link - \"Because the Army Corps is a Government Agency, the calendar is in public domain and totally free to download and print\"", ">\n\nThis is so funny, because it’s my Dad’s old workplace (from 1971 until he retired). My father, however, has zero sense of humor so he’d never work on something like this.", ">\n\nI met a guy from the Army Corps of Engineers when I worked for the EPA. Smartest guy I've ever met and the 2nd most hippe like person I've ever met. I'd like to think he had something to do with this idea.", ">\n\nFinally the massive military budget of the US is put to good use.", ">\n\nThis is awesome. I might have to buy one.", ">\n\nNo need. It's free, though you have to print it yourself if you want a physical copy", ">\n\nThis is so adorable! I approve wholeheartedly.", ">\n\nIt's about time.", ">\n\nSappers lead the way", ">\n\nI have so much love for this.", ">\n\nEhisssayons.", ">\n\nLove it.", ">\n\nUnintended benefits of relaxed Marijuana policies :)", ">\n\nUsace has not relaxed cannabis policies. No federal agency has", ">\n\nThey certainly have relaxed policy, even though federal law hasn't changed. It's legal in my state and the current administration has announced they won't be pursuing user level Marijuana charges at the federal level.\nWake up.", ">\n\nUSACE still falls under the same policies as the rest of the army. They're treated as DA civilians, and subject to periodic biochemical testing and the resultant consequences if they pee hot. The army has, and will not in the foreseeable future, relax any policy regarding marijuana.", ">\n\nAdorable idea; wish they had hired someone better at photoshop", ">\n\nIts a free gag calendar that was probably just put together by someone for fun in their spare time. Considering the state of infrastructure in the US I don't imagine the Corps of Engineers has a lot of extra spending money to throw around", ">\n\nIf they were smart, they would print it for us and sell it. I don't want a crappy calender that I printed on regular paper, I want the real thing and I would be glad to pay for it.", ">\n\nGenius!! This needs to be a trend. Reddit, make it so...", ">\n\nfuck yeah we finally gonna balance the budget", ">\n\nDecember's hilarious. I want this calender.", ">\n\nYou can totally tell that this is not real. The lighting on the cats is so obviously different than the environmental mistake. Pathetic effort infrastructure geeks.", ">\n\nSo they can blame cats for shoddy workmanship and lax maintenance.", ">\n\nDon't capitalize \"Of\" in titles", ">\n\nWish they'd focus on not taking eight years to permit a fucking project, those lazy excuses for engineers.", ">\n\nYou’re crazy dude. These peeps have built some amazing things. Extremely impressive.", ">\n\nThey used to.", ">\n\n😂", ">\n\nThis whole absurd thing is exactly my sense of humour. LOVE it.", ">\n\nOregon! I've seen the one at Detroit Dam. Sneaky bugger. Hangs out with Bigfoot.", ">\n\nI need this", ">\n\nThat's some adorable terrorism right there.", ">\n\nI remember seeing them, on quad bikes, with a lot of equipment, on Myrtle Beach beaches, I always wondered what they were doing...", ">\n\nI love this sequel to Beginning of the End!", ">\n\nIs there a way I can buy a physical version?" ]

[ "Imagine the work order. \nYour boss comes to you and says, \"Hey, you're in charge of the cats calendar.\"\n\"What calendar?\"\n\"The one with cats attacking infrastructure?\"\n\"What?\"", ">\n\nyou miss ONE day...", ">\n\nHail Vectron!", ">\n\nBy Vectron!", ">\n\nFor those yet to experience the holy might of Vectron's kindly claw", ">\n\nThank you. I had no idea.", ">\n\nYou are most welcome by Vectron", ">\n\nFor the love of all that is Vectron, your speech warms my Vectronic heart.", ">\n\nMay Vectron’s beard shed its benevolence upon us. 🙏🏻🙏🏻", ">\n\nAnd may all of his correspondence to us be sent Vectronically. So it is written, so shall it be done.", ">\n\nI live in Oregon and started to recognize a bunch of the dams, so I was like, “huh, that’s kinda cool.” Then I saw the text at the bottom of the first page. Portland District. Now a cat calendar makes perfect sense.", ">\n\nSame thing happened to me. I think I'm going to head to kinko's and have them print it out for me.", ">\n\nTell them you need to print some important official military documents before you show them what it is", ">\n\nDon’t forget to tell them you need it right meow!", ">\n\nWho will protect our infrastructure from this menace?", ">\n\nAn array of laser pointers.", ">\n\ncut to giant laser pointer satellite", ">\n\nomigod the jewish space lasers were real", ">\n\n*meowish space lasers", ">\n\nHey that's racist", ">\n\nI think it would be cheaper to buy a calendar than use the ink/toner required to print it.", ">\n\nThat's why you print it at work.", ">\n\nhaha true, oh wait I work from home...", ">\n\nIf you print from home for work you can write printer supplies off on your taxes :)", ">\n\nUh yes boss I needed a calendar, so… oh what? Use the company one? Ummm but the US army has a really nice one and I thought I’d be patriotic - what? Oh, yeah I know we’re in Canada, I just…", ">\n\nPortland is pretty much wannabe Vancouver, BC. I say it goes!", ">\n\nExactly what a Canadian would say...", ">\n\nGoodies, goodie goodie, yum yum.", ">\n\nI just scrolled until I found The Goodies reference but was wondering if I was going to find one at all.", ">\n\nIt's way down the list, isn't it? \n/knees hurt.", ">\n\nOw, my back! Get off my lawn!", ">\n\nOne engineer did it in his free time, and released it for use through the corps. \nThis was NOT government funded.", ">\n\nEven if it was government funded, I support this.", ">\n\nEven if it was government funded it would've been like maybe one day of pay at most? Not a ton for the amount of publicity they'll get that might make them even more money.", ">\n\nAssuming they already have the infrastructure pictures I would be surprised if it took more than 4 work hours. Also for chronically underfunded agencies that kind of PR is exactly how you get voters to convince the politicians to increase funds. I look forward to NASA figuring out how to photoshop giant cats playing with the planets like balls of yarn for their calendar", ">\n\n\nI look forward to NASA figuring out how to photoshop giant cats playing with the planets like balls of yarn for their calendar \n\nWell let me introduce you to the most bizarre social media messaging from an official U.S. government agency: The U.S. Consumer Product Safety Commission's Instagram feed. \nAnd before I catch any \"there's no way this is real\" replies, here's the Washington Post covering it: \n\nHow a federal bureaucrat uses astronaut babies and dogs riding pigeons to try to save your life", ">\n\nThis is rad!", ">\n\nCISA losing their shit rn", ">\n\nI would like one.", ">\n\nIt's a free PDF.", ">\n\nNo he would like one of the cats", ">\n\nyOu wOuLdN'T DoWnloAd a cAT", ">\n\nI can’t believe they included Sherlock getting knocked off a cliff. At least he didn’t jump this time.", ">\n\nI'm shocked that you're the only person I've seen comment on this so far! it's hilarious", ">\n\n\"Every year, dozens of cats attack important infrastructure for our country causing dozens of dollars of damage. Won't you help?\"", ">\n\nI heard this with Sarah McLoughlin's voice", ">\n\nArmy Cats", ">\n\nNow do it with pictures of our crumbling infrastructure.", ">\n\nThis seems like one of those things that is somehow going to age poorly given our Universe's current sense of irony. I don't know how exactly, but there's going to be some mass tragedy involving cats and a suspension bridge or something this year.", ">\n\nThe first image kind of reads like \"this infrastructure is super important so don't damage it\". The calendar almost seems like a shopping list for domestic terrorists or something lol.", ">\n\nI mean, pretty obvious that dams, substations, bridges and the like are good targets for chaos. Google maps gives you all this plus Police stations and everything, with photos and the address. Useless to worry about it", ">\n\nSeriously, anyone who unironicly think terrorists were waiting for a cat calendar to list a bunch of locations to bomb is paranoid about the wrong things.", ">\n\nCats would hunt and eat us if they were bigger than us", ">\n\nThey already do, they are called Tigers.", ">\n\nIf there were smaller tigers, we would keep them as pets, but they'd break all our stuff to prove they're still in charge.", ">\n\nThey already do, they are called Cats.", ">\n\nOH MY GOD!", ">\n\nMy tabby is a cute little tiger", ">\n\nI knew we had infrastructure challenges, but I didn't realize we were facing an infrastructure cat-astrophe!", ">\n\nTake my r/angryupvote", ">\n\nI love how shitty the photoshop is. Really ties it all together", ">\n\nYeah I like the idea--but the pictures chosen and color grading are all off. I'd like this idea better executed more professionally.", ">\n\nOh no I'm serious. The unprofessionalism is the best part. I would absolutely pay money for this", ">\n\nOnly only thing weirder is gonna be their crazy ass plan to save the infrastructure.", ">\n\nIt's the engineer Corp, they can build giant cat carriers.", ">\n\nI guess anything beats the 40 million they spend on viagra to keep the soldiers saluting.", ">\n\nThis is delightful", ">\n\ni was imagining mountain lions breaking in to dumpsters or something, not giant house cats gnawing on substations, not disappointed.", ">\n\nI don’t need a calendar now that our pocket rectangles handle all of that for us, but I really want this calendar.", ">\n\nIt is really convenient to just walk by my schedule versus having to pull it up, scroll, click and expand. I tend to forget about things if I don’t see it in front of me, but that’s just how my brain works. Plus if you’re on the phone trying to schedule something it’s nice to write it out too.", ">\n\nI'm sorry, we're already booked for giant spiders.", ">\n\nI personally kinda love this.", ">\n\nBest use of a miniscule amount of our tax dollars in the entire US $1.7T budget. US Army Corp wins the internet today!", ">\n\nHonestly, the entire army corps of engineers may be one of highest rates of return on public good vs funding", ">\n\nSeriously. They do a shit ton of quality and important public work on a relatively shoe-string budget for engineering. I have a lot of respect for the people that work at the USACOE.", ">\n\nSeptember, now that one is art", ">\n\nHaters will say it's Photoshop.", ">\n\nThey’ve never seen Catzilla.", ">\n\nHero of the Week! Hail yourself!", ">\n\nThere it is!", ">\n\n\nThe Army Corps Of Engineers Has Released a 2023 Calendar Of Giant Cats Attacking <\n\nr/brand new sentence \nAlso, giant cats attacking infrastructure is so 2020. In 2023 it just sounds silly.", ">\n\nSeptember ❤️", ">\n\nOmg. I love this. Especially the text blurbs on the pictures. Very funny and adorable!", ">\n\nSounds like they understand cats are required if you want social media traction", ">\n\nI have never wanted to buy a calendar more than I do now!", ">\n\nOn the one hand, I applaud the idea.\nOn the other hand, the photoshop skills look like they came from the army corps of engineers.", ">\n\nWould you actually want them to look like they were perfectly matched to each environment? I'm pretty sure the comedic effect is all that matters here.\nAnd besides, it was just one engineer that created this on their spare time, rather than an official ACE production.", ">\n\nI was mainly being a bit snarky because the internet. That, and what I said was objectively true.", ">\n\nCan confirm, the Corps of Engineers fuckkkkks", ">\n\nGoddammit I just bought my 2023 calendar too lol", ">\n\nThat’s cute though, not worrisome like a lot of other r/nottheonion posts.", ">\n\nAs ever, the Army Corps of Engineers are the one branch of the US state that can get the important shit done", ">\n\nFrom the comments ITT it's evident that most people are unaware of how important they are to the lives of the majority of productive people in this country (people who live near a coastline or a major body of water). It's not just dams and rivers, it's the actual physical coastline of america that they look after.", ">\n\nYup, it seems double edged- people think oh, they're the army corps and assumes they must be doing only military stuff. But equally if it was civilianised no doubt it'd be a target for cuts. An incredible org, regardless. And whether it's cats or weather or warming or the collapse of neglected infrastructure they're going to get more and more important so it's a damn good thing they exist because in 2023, nobody would invent them...", ">\n\nUSACE is an agency that is funded by the DOD but is vastly ran by civilians. There are very few enlisted or commissioned people in the army corps.", ">\n\nOK this is a thing and this is awesome", ">\n\nOops, I had \"Zombie Redneck Torture Family\" in the betting pool.", ">\n\nGrumble. Never gonna see a merman...", ">\n\nUSACE Portland District is one of the absolute best public sector social media presences out there. Seriously. Check it out.", ">\n\nCats in military pictures is an entire IG channel", ">\n\nGood boot", ">\n\nCommand team must be TDY", ">\n\nThat was even better than the title made me think it would be.", ">\n\nI support my tax dollars going to causes such as this.", ">\n\nFinally tax dollars doing something good", ">\n\nI’m kind of disappointed. From the title, I thought there would be photos of actual big cats attacking infrastructure, not photoshopped domestic cats. Anyone have a photo of a puma going after an electrical substation? Or a tiger gnawing on a water line?", ">\n\nNo. No one has that. Would be very interesting though to compile a calendar like that. Peace brother.", ">\n\nGreat, now I need a color printer.\nSeriously, thank you u/radioman8414!", ">\n\nThis is how I want my tax money spent. Downloaded and put up in my office!", ">\n\nThe regional social media guy who put this together is constantly hilarious", ">\n\nGreatest calendar of 2023.", ">\n\nI need one of these for my office! I've worked on some of these dams!", ">\n\nCan I ask you some dam questions?? I’m sure you know a lot of dam information. I’m sure all of us would love some dam stories. Thank you.", ">\n\nSure way to have a more interesting calendar than just infrastructure.", ">\n\nI would so adopt one if they existed.", ">\n\nI've heard army corps of engineers are very difficult to house train. May want to consider before adopting one.", ">\n\nTouché.", ">\n\nThat's amazing, thank you for posting it!", ">\n\nIs there anywhere to buy a nice physical copy of the calendar?", ">\n\nThose cats are mind-controlled by taxoplasmosis alien ameobas!", ">\n\nI was thinking this was gonna be mountain lions taking out maintenance huts or something like that. This is so much better", ">\n\nI’m the daughter of a former Portland, Oregon, US Army Corps Engineer, and I can confirm they are a strange crew. It makes me view the dams on the Columbia River fondly?", ">\n\nI love this so much.", ">\n\nDude. Awesome.", ">\n\nI love this! My astronomy teacher once did a talk on space cats. It was hysterical. Out of the blue he showed us pictures of space with cats added in. He felt we needed a fun class for laughs. I want this calendar.", ">\n\nThis would be really cool if they got a decent digital artist. But they didn't, they used photoshop about as well as I can.", ">\n\nI think that adds to the charm", ">\n\nDon't even need to see it, where can I buy it", ">\n\nFrom the link - \"Because the Army Corps is a Government Agency, the calendar is in public domain and totally free to download and print\"", ">\n\nThis is so funny, because it’s my Dad’s old workplace (from 1971 until he retired). My father, however, has zero sense of humor so he’d never work on something like this.", ">\n\nI met a guy from the Army Corps of Engineers when I worked for the EPA. Smartest guy I've ever met and the 2nd most hippe like person I've ever met. I'd like to think he had something to do with this idea.", ">\n\nFinally the massive military budget of the US is put to good use.", ">\n\nThis is awesome. I might have to buy one.", ">\n\nNo need. It's free, though you have to print it yourself if you want a physical copy", ">\n\nThis is so adorable! I approve wholeheartedly.", ">\n\nIt's about time.", ">\n\nSappers lead the way", ">\n\nI have so much love for this.", ">\n\nEhisssayons.", ">\n\nLove it.", ">\n\nUnintended benefits of relaxed Marijuana policies :)", ">\n\nUsace has not relaxed cannabis policies. No federal agency has", ">\n\nThey certainly have relaxed policy, even though federal law hasn't changed. It's legal in my state and the current administration has announced they won't be pursuing user level Marijuana charges at the federal level.\nWake up.", ">\n\nUSACE still falls under the same policies as the rest of the army. They're treated as DA civilians, and subject to periodic biochemical testing and the resultant consequences if they pee hot. The army has, and will not in the foreseeable future, relax any policy regarding marijuana.", ">\n\nAdorable idea; wish they had hired someone better at photoshop", ">\n\nIts a free gag calendar that was probably just put together by someone for fun in their spare time. Considering the state of infrastructure in the US I don't imagine the Corps of Engineers has a lot of extra spending money to throw around", ">\n\nIf they were smart, they would print it for us and sell it. I don't want a crappy calender that I printed on regular paper, I want the real thing and I would be glad to pay for it.", ">\n\nGenius!! This needs to be a trend. Reddit, make it so...", ">\n\nfuck yeah we finally gonna balance the budget", ">\n\nDecember's hilarious. I want this calender.", ">\n\nYou can totally tell that this is not real. The lighting on the cats is so obviously different than the environmental mistake. Pathetic effort infrastructure geeks.", ">\n\nSo they can blame cats for shoddy workmanship and lax maintenance.", ">\n\nDon't capitalize \"Of\" in titles", ">\n\nWish they'd focus on not taking eight years to permit a fucking project, those lazy excuses for engineers.", ">\n\nYou’re crazy dude. These peeps have built some amazing things. Extremely impressive.", ">\n\nThey used to.", ">\n\n😂", ">\n\nThis whole absurd thing is exactly my sense of humour. LOVE it.", ">\n\nOregon! I've seen the one at Detroit Dam. Sneaky bugger. Hangs out with Bigfoot.", ">\n\nI need this", ">\n\nThat's some adorable terrorism right there.", ">\n\nI remember seeing them, on quad bikes, with a lot of equipment, on Myrtle Beach beaches, I always wondered what they were doing...", ">\n\nI love this sequel to Beginning of the End!", ">\n\nIs there a way I can buy a physical version?", ">\n\nThey're Demo-cats!" ]

[ "Imagine the work order. \nYour boss comes to you and says, \"Hey, you're in charge of the cats calendar.\"\n\"What calendar?\"\n\"The one with cats attacking infrastructure?\"\n\"What?\"", ">\n\nyou miss ONE day...", ">\n\nHail Vectron!", ">\n\nBy Vectron!", ">\n\nFor those yet to experience the holy might of Vectron's kindly claw", ">\n\nThank you. I had no idea.", ">\n\nYou are most welcome by Vectron", ">\n\nFor the love of all that is Vectron, your speech warms my Vectronic heart.", ">\n\nMay Vectron’s beard shed its benevolence upon us. 🙏🏻🙏🏻", ">\n\nAnd may all of his correspondence to us be sent Vectronically. So it is written, so shall it be done.", ">\n\nI live in Oregon and started to recognize a bunch of the dams, so I was like, “huh, that’s kinda cool.” Then I saw the text at the bottom of the first page. Portland District. Now a cat calendar makes perfect sense.", ">\n\nSame thing happened to me. I think I'm going to head to kinko's and have them print it out for me.", ">\n\nTell them you need to print some important official military documents before you show them what it is", ">\n\nDon’t forget to tell them you need it right meow!", ">\n\nWho will protect our infrastructure from this menace?", ">\n\nAn array of laser pointers.", ">\n\ncut to giant laser pointer satellite", ">\n\nomigod the jewish space lasers were real", ">\n\n*meowish space lasers", ">\n\nHey that's racist", ">\n\nI think it would be cheaper to buy a calendar than use the ink/toner required to print it.", ">\n\nThat's why you print it at work.", ">\n\nhaha true, oh wait I work from home...", ">\n\nIf you print from home for work you can write printer supplies off on your taxes :)", ">\n\nUh yes boss I needed a calendar, so… oh what? Use the company one? Ummm but the US army has a really nice one and I thought I’d be patriotic - what? Oh, yeah I know we’re in Canada, I just…", ">\n\nPortland is pretty much wannabe Vancouver, BC. I say it goes!", ">\n\nExactly what a Canadian would say...", ">\n\nGoodies, goodie goodie, yum yum.", ">\n\nI just scrolled until I found The Goodies reference but was wondering if I was going to find one at all.", ">\n\nIt's way down the list, isn't it? \n/knees hurt.", ">\n\nOw, my back! Get off my lawn!", ">\n\nOne engineer did it in his free time, and released it for use through the corps. \nThis was NOT government funded.", ">\n\nEven if it was government funded, I support this.", ">\n\nEven if it was government funded it would've been like maybe one day of pay at most? Not a ton for the amount of publicity they'll get that might make them even more money.", ">\n\nAssuming they already have the infrastructure pictures I would be surprised if it took more than 4 work hours. Also for chronically underfunded agencies that kind of PR is exactly how you get voters to convince the politicians to increase funds. I look forward to NASA figuring out how to photoshop giant cats playing with the planets like balls of yarn for their calendar", ">\n\n\nI look forward to NASA figuring out how to photoshop giant cats playing with the planets like balls of yarn for their calendar \n\nWell let me introduce you to the most bizarre social media messaging from an official U.S. government agency: The U.S. Consumer Product Safety Commission's Instagram feed. \nAnd before I catch any \"there's no way this is real\" replies, here's the Washington Post covering it: \n\nHow a federal bureaucrat uses astronaut babies and dogs riding pigeons to try to save your life", ">\n\nThis is rad!", ">\n\nCISA losing their shit rn", ">\n\nI would like one.", ">\n\nIt's a free PDF.", ">\n\nNo he would like one of the cats", ">\n\nyOu wOuLdN'T DoWnloAd a cAT", ">\n\nI can’t believe they included Sherlock getting knocked off a cliff. At least he didn’t jump this time.", ">\n\nI'm shocked that you're the only person I've seen comment on this so far! it's hilarious", ">\n\n\"Every year, dozens of cats attack important infrastructure for our country causing dozens of dollars of damage. Won't you help?\"", ">\n\nI heard this with Sarah McLoughlin's voice", ">\n\nArmy Cats", ">\n\nNow do it with pictures of our crumbling infrastructure.", ">\n\nThis seems like one of those things that is somehow going to age poorly given our Universe's current sense of irony. I don't know how exactly, but there's going to be some mass tragedy involving cats and a suspension bridge or something this year.", ">\n\nThe first image kind of reads like \"this infrastructure is super important so don't damage it\". The calendar almost seems like a shopping list for domestic terrorists or something lol.", ">\n\nI mean, pretty obvious that dams, substations, bridges and the like are good targets for chaos. Google maps gives you all this plus Police stations and everything, with photos and the address. Useless to worry about it", ">\n\nSeriously, anyone who unironicly think terrorists were waiting for a cat calendar to list a bunch of locations to bomb is paranoid about the wrong things.", ">\n\nCats would hunt and eat us if they were bigger than us", ">\n\nThey already do, they are called Tigers.", ">\n\nIf there were smaller tigers, we would keep them as pets, but they'd break all our stuff to prove they're still in charge.", ">\n\nThey already do, they are called Cats.", ">\n\nOH MY GOD!", ">\n\nMy tabby is a cute little tiger", ">\n\nI knew we had infrastructure challenges, but I didn't realize we were facing an infrastructure cat-astrophe!", ">\n\nTake my r/angryupvote", ">\n\nI love how shitty the photoshop is. Really ties it all together", ">\n\nYeah I like the idea--but the pictures chosen and color grading are all off. I'd like this idea better executed more professionally.", ">\n\nOh no I'm serious. The unprofessionalism is the best part. I would absolutely pay money for this", ">\n\nOnly only thing weirder is gonna be their crazy ass plan to save the infrastructure.", ">\n\nIt's the engineer Corp, they can build giant cat carriers.", ">\n\nI guess anything beats the 40 million they spend on viagra to keep the soldiers saluting.", ">\n\nThis is delightful", ">\n\ni was imagining mountain lions breaking in to dumpsters or something, not giant house cats gnawing on substations, not disappointed.", ">\n\nI don’t need a calendar now that our pocket rectangles handle all of that for us, but I really want this calendar.", ">\n\nIt is really convenient to just walk by my schedule versus having to pull it up, scroll, click and expand. I tend to forget about things if I don’t see it in front of me, but that’s just how my brain works. Plus if you’re on the phone trying to schedule something it’s nice to write it out too.", ">\n\nI'm sorry, we're already booked for giant spiders.", ">\n\nI personally kinda love this.", ">\n\nBest use of a miniscule amount of our tax dollars in the entire US $1.7T budget. US Army Corp wins the internet today!", ">\n\nHonestly, the entire army corps of engineers may be one of highest rates of return on public good vs funding", ">\n\nSeriously. They do a shit ton of quality and important public work on a relatively shoe-string budget for engineering. I have a lot of respect for the people that work at the USACOE.", ">\n\nSeptember, now that one is art", ">\n\nHaters will say it's Photoshop.", ">\n\nThey’ve never seen Catzilla.", ">\n\nHero of the Week! Hail yourself!", ">\n\nThere it is!", ">\n\n\nThe Army Corps Of Engineers Has Released a 2023 Calendar Of Giant Cats Attacking <\n\nr/brand new sentence \nAlso, giant cats attacking infrastructure is so 2020. In 2023 it just sounds silly.", ">\n\nSeptember ❤️", ">\n\nOmg. I love this. Especially the text blurbs on the pictures. Very funny and adorable!", ">\n\nSounds like they understand cats are required if you want social media traction", ">\n\nI have never wanted to buy a calendar more than I do now!", ">\n\nOn the one hand, I applaud the idea.\nOn the other hand, the photoshop skills look like they came from the army corps of engineers.", ">\n\nWould you actually want them to look like they were perfectly matched to each environment? I'm pretty sure the comedic effect is all that matters here.\nAnd besides, it was just one engineer that created this on their spare time, rather than an official ACE production.", ">\n\nI was mainly being a bit snarky because the internet. That, and what I said was objectively true.", ">\n\nCan confirm, the Corps of Engineers fuckkkkks", ">\n\nGoddammit I just bought my 2023 calendar too lol", ">\n\nThat’s cute though, not worrisome like a lot of other r/nottheonion posts.", ">\n\nAs ever, the Army Corps of Engineers are the one branch of the US state that can get the important shit done", ">\n\nFrom the comments ITT it's evident that most people are unaware of how important they are to the lives of the majority of productive people in this country (people who live near a coastline or a major body of water). It's not just dams and rivers, it's the actual physical coastline of america that they look after.", ">\n\nYup, it seems double edged- people think oh, they're the army corps and assumes they must be doing only military stuff. But equally if it was civilianised no doubt it'd be a target for cuts. An incredible org, regardless. And whether it's cats or weather or warming or the collapse of neglected infrastructure they're going to get more and more important so it's a damn good thing they exist because in 2023, nobody would invent them...", ">\n\nUSACE is an agency that is funded by the DOD but is vastly ran by civilians. There are very few enlisted or commissioned people in the army corps.", ">\n\nOK this is a thing and this is awesome", ">\n\nOops, I had \"Zombie Redneck Torture Family\" in the betting pool.", ">\n\nGrumble. Never gonna see a merman...", ">\n\nUSACE Portland District is one of the absolute best public sector social media presences out there. Seriously. Check it out.", ">\n\nCats in military pictures is an entire IG channel", ">\n\nGood boot", ">\n\nCommand team must be TDY", ">\n\nThat was even better than the title made me think it would be.", ">\n\nI support my tax dollars going to causes such as this.", ">\n\nFinally tax dollars doing something good", ">\n\nI’m kind of disappointed. From the title, I thought there would be photos of actual big cats attacking infrastructure, not photoshopped domestic cats. Anyone have a photo of a puma going after an electrical substation? Or a tiger gnawing on a water line?", ">\n\nNo. No one has that. Would be very interesting though to compile a calendar like that. Peace brother.", ">\n\nGreat, now I need a color printer.\nSeriously, thank you u/radioman8414!", ">\n\nThis is how I want my tax money spent. Downloaded and put up in my office!", ">\n\nThe regional social media guy who put this together is constantly hilarious", ">\n\nGreatest calendar of 2023.", ">\n\nI need one of these for my office! I've worked on some of these dams!", ">\n\nCan I ask you some dam questions?? I’m sure you know a lot of dam information. I’m sure all of us would love some dam stories. Thank you.", ">\n\nSure way to have a more interesting calendar than just infrastructure.", ">\n\nI would so adopt one if they existed.", ">\n\nI've heard army corps of engineers are very difficult to house train. May want to consider before adopting one.", ">\n\nTouché.", ">\n\nThat's amazing, thank you for posting it!", ">\n\nIs there anywhere to buy a nice physical copy of the calendar?", ">\n\nThose cats are mind-controlled by taxoplasmosis alien ameobas!", ">\n\nI was thinking this was gonna be mountain lions taking out maintenance huts or something like that. This is so much better", ">\n\nI’m the daughter of a former Portland, Oregon, US Army Corps Engineer, and I can confirm they are a strange crew. It makes me view the dams on the Columbia River fondly?", ">\n\nI love this so much.", ">\n\nDude. Awesome.", ">\n\nI love this! My astronomy teacher once did a talk on space cats. It was hysterical. Out of the blue he showed us pictures of space with cats added in. He felt we needed a fun class for laughs. I want this calendar.", ">\n\nThis would be really cool if they got a decent digital artist. But they didn't, they used photoshop about as well as I can.", ">\n\nI think that adds to the charm", ">\n\nDon't even need to see it, where can I buy it", ">\n\nFrom the link - \"Because the Army Corps is a Government Agency, the calendar is in public domain and totally free to download and print\"", ">\n\nThis is so funny, because it’s my Dad’s old workplace (from 1971 until he retired). My father, however, has zero sense of humor so he’d never work on something like this.", ">\n\nI met a guy from the Army Corps of Engineers when I worked for the EPA. Smartest guy I've ever met and the 2nd most hippe like person I've ever met. I'd like to think he had something to do with this idea.", ">\n\nFinally the massive military budget of the US is put to good use.", ">\n\nThis is awesome. I might have to buy one.", ">\n\nNo need. It's free, though you have to print it yourself if you want a physical copy", ">\n\nThis is so adorable! I approve wholeheartedly.", ">\n\nIt's about time.", ">\n\nSappers lead the way", ">\n\nI have so much love for this.", ">\n\nEhisssayons.", ">\n\nLove it.", ">\n\nUnintended benefits of relaxed Marijuana policies :)", ">\n\nUsace has not relaxed cannabis policies. No federal agency has", ">\n\nThey certainly have relaxed policy, even though federal law hasn't changed. It's legal in my state and the current administration has announced they won't be pursuing user level Marijuana charges at the federal level.\nWake up.", ">\n\nUSACE still falls under the same policies as the rest of the army. They're treated as DA civilians, and subject to periodic biochemical testing and the resultant consequences if they pee hot. The army has, and will not in the foreseeable future, relax any policy regarding marijuana.", ">\n\nAdorable idea; wish they had hired someone better at photoshop", ">\n\nIts a free gag calendar that was probably just put together by someone for fun in their spare time. Considering the state of infrastructure in the US I don't imagine the Corps of Engineers has a lot of extra spending money to throw around", ">\n\nIf they were smart, they would print it for us and sell it. I don't want a crappy calender that I printed on regular paper, I want the real thing and I would be glad to pay for it.", ">\n\nGenius!! This needs to be a trend. Reddit, make it so...", ">\n\nfuck yeah we finally gonna balance the budget", ">\n\nDecember's hilarious. I want this calender.", ">\n\nYou can totally tell that this is not real. The lighting on the cats is so obviously different than the environmental mistake. Pathetic effort infrastructure geeks.", ">\n\nSo they can blame cats for shoddy workmanship and lax maintenance.", ">\n\nDon't capitalize \"Of\" in titles", ">\n\nWish they'd focus on not taking eight years to permit a fucking project, those lazy excuses for engineers.", ">\n\nYou’re crazy dude. These peeps have built some amazing things. Extremely impressive.", ">\n\nThey used to.", ">\n\n😂", ">\n\nThis whole absurd thing is exactly my sense of humour. LOVE it.", ">\n\nOregon! I've seen the one at Detroit Dam. Sneaky bugger. Hangs out with Bigfoot.", ">\n\nI need this", ">\n\nThat's some adorable terrorism right there.", ">\n\nI remember seeing them, on quad bikes, with a lot of equipment, on Myrtle Beach beaches, I always wondered what they were doing...", ">\n\nI love this sequel to Beginning of the End!", ">\n\nIs there a way I can buy a physical version?", ">\n\nThey're Demo-cats!", ">\n\nAny recommendations of the best way to get this printed semi-professionally? I tried checking Costco photo centre but they make you use a template." ]

[ "Imagine the work order. \nYour boss comes to you and says, \"Hey, you're in charge of the cats calendar.\"\n\"What calendar?\"\n\"The one with cats attacking infrastructure?\"\n\"What?\"", ">\n\nyou miss ONE day...", ">\n\nHail Vectron!", ">\n\nBy Vectron!", ">\n\nFor those yet to experience the holy might of Vectron's kindly claw", ">\n\nThank you. I had no idea.", ">\n\nYou are most welcome by Vectron", ">\n\nFor the love of all that is Vectron, your speech warms my Vectronic heart.", ">\n\nMay Vectron’s beard shed its benevolence upon us. 🙏🏻🙏🏻", ">\n\nAnd may all of his correspondence to us be sent Vectronically. So it is written, so shall it be done.", ">\n\nI live in Oregon and started to recognize a bunch of the dams, so I was like, “huh, that’s kinda cool.” Then I saw the text at the bottom of the first page. Portland District. Now a cat calendar makes perfect sense.", ">\n\nSame thing happened to me. I think I'm going to head to kinko's and have them print it out for me.", ">\n\nTell them you need to print some important official military documents before you show them what it is", ">\n\nDon’t forget to tell them you need it right meow!", ">\n\nWho will protect our infrastructure from this menace?", ">\n\nAn array of laser pointers.", ">\n\ncut to giant laser pointer satellite", ">\n\nomigod the jewish space lasers were real", ">\n\n*meowish space lasers", ">\n\nHey that's racist", ">\n\nI think it would be cheaper to buy a calendar than use the ink/toner required to print it.", ">\n\nThat's why you print it at work.", ">\n\nhaha true, oh wait I work from home...", ">\n\nIf you print from home for work you can write printer supplies off on your taxes :)", ">\n\nUh yes boss I needed a calendar, so… oh what? Use the company one? Ummm but the US army has a really nice one and I thought I’d be patriotic - what? Oh, yeah I know we’re in Canada, I just…", ">\n\nPortland is pretty much wannabe Vancouver, BC. I say it goes!", ">\n\nExactly what a Canadian would say...", ">\n\nGoodies, goodie goodie, yum yum.", ">\n\nI just scrolled until I found The Goodies reference but was wondering if I was going to find one at all.", ">\n\nIt's way down the list, isn't it? \n/knees hurt.", ">\n\nOw, my back! Get off my lawn!", ">\n\nOne engineer did it in his free time, and released it for use through the corps. \nThis was NOT government funded.", ">\n\nEven if it was government funded, I support this.", ">\n\nEven if it was government funded it would've been like maybe one day of pay at most? Not a ton for the amount of publicity they'll get that might make them even more money.", ">\n\nAssuming they already have the infrastructure pictures I would be surprised if it took more than 4 work hours. Also for chronically underfunded agencies that kind of PR is exactly how you get voters to convince the politicians to increase funds. I look forward to NASA figuring out how to photoshop giant cats playing with the planets like balls of yarn for their calendar", ">\n\n\nI look forward to NASA figuring out how to photoshop giant cats playing with the planets like balls of yarn for their calendar \n\nWell let me introduce you to the most bizarre social media messaging from an official U.S. government agency: The U.S. Consumer Product Safety Commission's Instagram feed. \nAnd before I catch any \"there's no way this is real\" replies, here's the Washington Post covering it: \n\nHow a federal bureaucrat uses astronaut babies and dogs riding pigeons to try to save your life", ">\n\nThis is rad!", ">\n\nCISA losing their shit rn", ">\n\nI would like one.", ">\n\nIt's a free PDF.", ">\n\nNo he would like one of the cats", ">\n\nyOu wOuLdN'T DoWnloAd a cAT", ">\n\nI can’t believe they included Sherlock getting knocked off a cliff. At least he didn’t jump this time.", ">\n\nI'm shocked that you're the only person I've seen comment on this so far! it's hilarious", ">\n\n\"Every year, dozens of cats attack important infrastructure for our country causing dozens of dollars of damage. Won't you help?\"", ">\n\nI heard this with Sarah McLoughlin's voice", ">\n\nArmy Cats", ">\n\nNow do it with pictures of our crumbling infrastructure.", ">\n\nThis seems like one of those things that is somehow going to age poorly given our Universe's current sense of irony. I don't know how exactly, but there's going to be some mass tragedy involving cats and a suspension bridge or something this year.", ">\n\nThe first image kind of reads like \"this infrastructure is super important so don't damage it\". The calendar almost seems like a shopping list for domestic terrorists or something lol.", ">\n\nI mean, pretty obvious that dams, substations, bridges and the like are good targets for chaos. Google maps gives you all this plus Police stations and everything, with photos and the address. Useless to worry about it", ">\n\nSeriously, anyone who unironicly think terrorists were waiting for a cat calendar to list a bunch of locations to bomb is paranoid about the wrong things.", ">\n\nCats would hunt and eat us if they were bigger than us", ">\n\nThey already do, they are called Tigers.", ">\n\nIf there were smaller tigers, we would keep them as pets, but they'd break all our stuff to prove they're still in charge.", ">\n\nThey already do, they are called Cats.", ">\n\nOH MY GOD!", ">\n\nMy tabby is a cute little tiger", ">\n\nI knew we had infrastructure challenges, but I didn't realize we were facing an infrastructure cat-astrophe!", ">\n\nTake my r/angryupvote", ">\n\nI love how shitty the photoshop is. Really ties it all together", ">\n\nYeah I like the idea--but the pictures chosen and color grading are all off. I'd like this idea better executed more professionally.", ">\n\nOh no I'm serious. The unprofessionalism is the best part. I would absolutely pay money for this", ">\n\nOnly only thing weirder is gonna be their crazy ass plan to save the infrastructure.", ">\n\nIt's the engineer Corp, they can build giant cat carriers.", ">\n\nI guess anything beats the 40 million they spend on viagra to keep the soldiers saluting.", ">\n\nThis is delightful", ">\n\ni was imagining mountain lions breaking in to dumpsters or something, not giant house cats gnawing on substations, not disappointed.", ">\n\nI don’t need a calendar now that our pocket rectangles handle all of that for us, but I really want this calendar.", ">\n\nIt is really convenient to just walk by my schedule versus having to pull it up, scroll, click and expand. I tend to forget about things if I don’t see it in front of me, but that’s just how my brain works. Plus if you’re on the phone trying to schedule something it’s nice to write it out too.", ">\n\nI'm sorry, we're already booked for giant spiders.", ">\n\nI personally kinda love this.", ">\n\nBest use of a miniscule amount of our tax dollars in the entire US $1.7T budget. US Army Corp wins the internet today!", ">\n\nHonestly, the entire army corps of engineers may be one of highest rates of return on public good vs funding", ">\n\nSeriously. They do a shit ton of quality and important public work on a relatively shoe-string budget for engineering. I have a lot of respect for the people that work at the USACOE.", ">\n\nSeptember, now that one is art", ">\n\nHaters will say it's Photoshop.", ">\n\nThey’ve never seen Catzilla.", ">\n\nHero of the Week! Hail yourself!", ">\n\nThere it is!", ">\n\n\nThe Army Corps Of Engineers Has Released a 2023 Calendar Of Giant Cats Attacking <\n\nr/brand new sentence \nAlso, giant cats attacking infrastructure is so 2020. In 2023 it just sounds silly.", ">\n\nSeptember ❤️", ">\n\nOmg. I love this. Especially the text blurbs on the pictures. Very funny and adorable!", ">\n\nSounds like they understand cats are required if you want social media traction", ">\n\nI have never wanted to buy a calendar more than I do now!", ">\n\nOn the one hand, I applaud the idea.\nOn the other hand, the photoshop skills look like they came from the army corps of engineers.", ">\n\nWould you actually want them to look like they were perfectly matched to each environment? I'm pretty sure the comedic effect is all that matters here.\nAnd besides, it was just one engineer that created this on their spare time, rather than an official ACE production.", ">\n\nI was mainly being a bit snarky because the internet. That, and what I said was objectively true.", ">\n\nCan confirm, the Corps of Engineers fuckkkkks", ">\n\nGoddammit I just bought my 2023 calendar too lol", ">\n\nThat’s cute though, not worrisome like a lot of other r/nottheonion posts.", ">\n\nAs ever, the Army Corps of Engineers are the one branch of the US state that can get the important shit done", ">\n\nFrom the comments ITT it's evident that most people are unaware of how important they are to the lives of the majority of productive people in this country (people who live near a coastline or a major body of water). It's not just dams and rivers, it's the actual physical coastline of america that they look after.", ">\n\nYup, it seems double edged- people think oh, they're the army corps and assumes they must be doing only military stuff. But equally if it was civilianised no doubt it'd be a target for cuts. An incredible org, regardless. And whether it's cats or weather or warming or the collapse of neglected infrastructure they're going to get more and more important so it's a damn good thing they exist because in 2023, nobody would invent them...", ">\n\nUSACE is an agency that is funded by the DOD but is vastly ran by civilians. There are very few enlisted or commissioned people in the army corps.", ">\n\nOK this is a thing and this is awesome", ">\n\nOops, I had \"Zombie Redneck Torture Family\" in the betting pool.", ">\n\nGrumble. Never gonna see a merman...", ">\n\nUSACE Portland District is one of the absolute best public sector social media presences out there. Seriously. Check it out.", ">\n\nCats in military pictures is an entire IG channel", ">\n\nGood boot", ">\n\nCommand team must be TDY", ">\n\nThat was even better than the title made me think it would be.", ">\n\nI support my tax dollars going to causes such as this.", ">\n\nFinally tax dollars doing something good", ">\n\nI’m kind of disappointed. From the title, I thought there would be photos of actual big cats attacking infrastructure, not photoshopped domestic cats. Anyone have a photo of a puma going after an electrical substation? Or a tiger gnawing on a water line?", ">\n\nNo. No one has that. Would be very interesting though to compile a calendar like that. Peace brother.", ">\n\nGreat, now I need a color printer.\nSeriously, thank you u/radioman8414!", ">\n\nThis is how I want my tax money spent. Downloaded and put up in my office!", ">\n\nThe regional social media guy who put this together is constantly hilarious", ">\n\nGreatest calendar of 2023.", ">\n\nI need one of these for my office! I've worked on some of these dams!", ">\n\nCan I ask you some dam questions?? I’m sure you know a lot of dam information. I’m sure all of us would love some dam stories. Thank you.", ">\n\nSure way to have a more interesting calendar than just infrastructure.", ">\n\nI would so adopt one if they existed.", ">\n\nI've heard army corps of engineers are very difficult to house train. May want to consider before adopting one.", ">\n\nTouché.", ">\n\nThat's amazing, thank you for posting it!", ">\n\nIs there anywhere to buy a nice physical copy of the calendar?", ">\n\nThose cats are mind-controlled by taxoplasmosis alien ameobas!", ">\n\nI was thinking this was gonna be mountain lions taking out maintenance huts or something like that. This is so much better", ">\n\nI’m the daughter of a former Portland, Oregon, US Army Corps Engineer, and I can confirm they are a strange crew. It makes me view the dams on the Columbia River fondly?", ">\n\nI love this so much.", ">\n\nDude. Awesome.", ">\n\nI love this! My astronomy teacher once did a talk on space cats. It was hysterical. Out of the blue he showed us pictures of space with cats added in. He felt we needed a fun class for laughs. I want this calendar.", ">\n\nThis would be really cool if they got a decent digital artist. But they didn't, they used photoshop about as well as I can.", ">\n\nI think that adds to the charm", ">\n\nDon't even need to see it, where can I buy it", ">\n\nFrom the link - \"Because the Army Corps is a Government Agency, the calendar is in public domain and totally free to download and print\"", ">\n\nThis is so funny, because it’s my Dad’s old workplace (from 1971 until he retired). My father, however, has zero sense of humor so he’d never work on something like this.", ">\n\nI met a guy from the Army Corps of Engineers when I worked for the EPA. Smartest guy I've ever met and the 2nd most hippe like person I've ever met. I'd like to think he had something to do with this idea.", ">\n\nFinally the massive military budget of the US is put to good use.", ">\n\nThis is awesome. I might have to buy one.", ">\n\nNo need. It's free, though you have to print it yourself if you want a physical copy", ">\n\nThis is so adorable! I approve wholeheartedly.", ">\n\nIt's about time.", ">\n\nSappers lead the way", ">\n\nI have so much love for this.", ">\n\nEhisssayons.", ">\n\nLove it.", ">\n\nUnintended benefits of relaxed Marijuana policies :)", ">\n\nUsace has not relaxed cannabis policies. No federal agency has", ">\n\nThey certainly have relaxed policy, even though federal law hasn't changed. It's legal in my state and the current administration has announced they won't be pursuing user level Marijuana charges at the federal level.\nWake up.", ">\n\nUSACE still falls under the same policies as the rest of the army. They're treated as DA civilians, and subject to periodic biochemical testing and the resultant consequences if they pee hot. The army has, and will not in the foreseeable future, relax any policy regarding marijuana.", ">\n\nAdorable idea; wish they had hired someone better at photoshop", ">\n\nIts a free gag calendar that was probably just put together by someone for fun in their spare time. Considering the state of infrastructure in the US I don't imagine the Corps of Engineers has a lot of extra spending money to throw around", ">\n\nIf they were smart, they would print it for us and sell it. I don't want a crappy calender that I printed on regular paper, I want the real thing and I would be glad to pay for it.", ">\n\nGenius!! This needs to be a trend. Reddit, make it so...", ">\n\nfuck yeah we finally gonna balance the budget", ">\n\nDecember's hilarious. I want this calender.", ">\n\nYou can totally tell that this is not real. The lighting on the cats is so obviously different than the environmental mistake. Pathetic effort infrastructure geeks.", ">\n\nSo they can blame cats for shoddy workmanship and lax maintenance.", ">\n\nDon't capitalize \"Of\" in titles", ">\n\nWish they'd focus on not taking eight years to permit a fucking project, those lazy excuses for engineers.", ">\n\nYou’re crazy dude. These peeps have built some amazing things. Extremely impressive.", ">\n\nThey used to.", ">\n\n😂", ">\n\nThis whole absurd thing is exactly my sense of humour. LOVE it.", ">\n\nOregon! I've seen the one at Detroit Dam. Sneaky bugger. Hangs out with Bigfoot.", ">\n\nI need this", ">\n\nThat's some adorable terrorism right there.", ">\n\nI remember seeing them, on quad bikes, with a lot of equipment, on Myrtle Beach beaches, I always wondered what they were doing...", ">\n\nI love this sequel to Beginning of the End!", ">\n\nIs there a way I can buy a physical version?", ">\n\nThey're Demo-cats!", ">\n\nAny recommendations of the best way to get this printed semi-professionally? I tried checking Costco photo centre but they make you use a template.", ">\n\nOf course it’s Portland." ]

[ "Imagine the work order. \nYour boss comes to you and says, \"Hey, you're in charge of the cats calendar.\"\n\"What calendar?\"\n\"The one with cats attacking infrastructure?\"\n\"What?\"", ">\n\nyou miss ONE day...", ">\n\nHail Vectron!", ">\n\nBy Vectron!", ">\n\nFor those yet to experience the holy might of Vectron's kindly claw", ">\n\nThank you. I had no idea.", ">\n\nYou are most welcome by Vectron", ">\n\nFor the love of all that is Vectron, your speech warms my Vectronic heart.", ">\n\nMay Vectron’s beard shed its benevolence upon us. 🙏🏻🙏🏻", ">\n\nAnd may all of his correspondence to us be sent Vectronically. So it is written, so shall it be done.", ">\n\nI live in Oregon and started to recognize a bunch of the dams, so I was like, “huh, that’s kinda cool.” Then I saw the text at the bottom of the first page. Portland District. Now a cat calendar makes perfect sense.", ">\n\nSame thing happened to me. I think I'm going to head to kinko's and have them print it out for me.", ">\n\nTell them you need to print some important official military documents before you show them what it is", ">\n\nDon’t forget to tell them you need it right meow!", ">\n\nWho will protect our infrastructure from this menace?", ">\n\nAn array of laser pointers.", ">\n\ncut to giant laser pointer satellite", ">\n\nomigod the jewish space lasers were real", ">\n\n*meowish space lasers", ">\n\nHey that's racist", ">\n\nI think it would be cheaper to buy a calendar than use the ink/toner required to print it.", ">\n\nThat's why you print it at work.", ">\n\nhaha true, oh wait I work from home...", ">\n\nIf you print from home for work you can write printer supplies off on your taxes :)", ">\n\nUh yes boss I needed a calendar, so… oh what? Use the company one? Ummm but the US army has a really nice one and I thought I’d be patriotic - what? Oh, yeah I know we’re in Canada, I just…", ">\n\nPortland is pretty much wannabe Vancouver, BC. I say it goes!", ">\n\nExactly what a Canadian would say...", ">\n\nGoodies, goodie goodie, yum yum.", ">\n\nI just scrolled until I found The Goodies reference but was wondering if I was going to find one at all.", ">\n\nIt's way down the list, isn't it? \n/knees hurt.", ">\n\nOw, my back! Get off my lawn!", ">\n\nOne engineer did it in his free time, and released it for use through the corps. \nThis was NOT government funded.", ">\n\nEven if it was government funded, I support this.", ">\n\nEven if it was government funded it would've been like maybe one day of pay at most? Not a ton for the amount of publicity they'll get that might make them even more money.", ">\n\nAssuming they already have the infrastructure pictures I would be surprised if it took more than 4 work hours. Also for chronically underfunded agencies that kind of PR is exactly how you get voters to convince the politicians to increase funds. I look forward to NASA figuring out how to photoshop giant cats playing with the planets like balls of yarn for their calendar", ">\n\n\nI look forward to NASA figuring out how to photoshop giant cats playing with the planets like balls of yarn for their calendar \n\nWell let me introduce you to the most bizarre social media messaging from an official U.S. government agency: The U.S. Consumer Product Safety Commission's Instagram feed. \nAnd before I catch any \"there's no way this is real\" replies, here's the Washington Post covering it: \n\nHow a federal bureaucrat uses astronaut babies and dogs riding pigeons to try to save your life", ">\n\nThis is rad!", ">\n\nCISA losing their shit rn", ">\n\nI would like one.", ">\n\nIt's a free PDF.", ">\n\nNo he would like one of the cats", ">\n\nyOu wOuLdN'T DoWnloAd a cAT", ">\n\nI can’t believe they included Sherlock getting knocked off a cliff. At least he didn’t jump this time.", ">\n\nI'm shocked that you're the only person I've seen comment on this so far! it's hilarious", ">\n\n\"Every year, dozens of cats attack important infrastructure for our country causing dozens of dollars of damage. Won't you help?\"", ">\n\nI heard this with Sarah McLoughlin's voice", ">\n\nArmy Cats", ">\n\nNow do it with pictures of our crumbling infrastructure.", ">\n\nThis seems like one of those things that is somehow going to age poorly given our Universe's current sense of irony. I don't know how exactly, but there's going to be some mass tragedy involving cats and a suspension bridge or something this year.", ">\n\nThe first image kind of reads like \"this infrastructure is super important so don't damage it\". The calendar almost seems like a shopping list for domestic terrorists or something lol.", ">\n\nI mean, pretty obvious that dams, substations, bridges and the like are good targets for chaos. Google maps gives you all this plus Police stations and everything, with photos and the address. Useless to worry about it", ">\n\nSeriously, anyone who unironicly think terrorists were waiting for a cat calendar to list a bunch of locations to bomb is paranoid about the wrong things.", ">\n\nCats would hunt and eat us if they were bigger than us", ">\n\nThey already do, they are called Tigers.", ">\n\nIf there were smaller tigers, we would keep them as pets, but they'd break all our stuff to prove they're still in charge.", ">\n\nThey already do, they are called Cats.", ">\n\nOH MY GOD!", ">\n\nMy tabby is a cute little tiger", ">\n\nI knew we had infrastructure challenges, but I didn't realize we were facing an infrastructure cat-astrophe!", ">\n\nTake my r/angryupvote", ">\n\nI love how shitty the photoshop is. Really ties it all together", ">\n\nYeah I like the idea--but the pictures chosen and color grading are all off. I'd like this idea better executed more professionally.", ">\n\nOh no I'm serious. The unprofessionalism is the best part. I would absolutely pay money for this", ">\n\nOnly only thing weirder is gonna be their crazy ass plan to save the infrastructure.", ">\n\nIt's the engineer Corp, they can build giant cat carriers.", ">\n\nI guess anything beats the 40 million they spend on viagra to keep the soldiers saluting.", ">\n\nThis is delightful", ">\n\ni was imagining mountain lions breaking in to dumpsters or something, not giant house cats gnawing on substations, not disappointed.", ">\n\nI don’t need a calendar now that our pocket rectangles handle all of that for us, but I really want this calendar.", ">\n\nIt is really convenient to just walk by my schedule versus having to pull it up, scroll, click and expand. I tend to forget about things if I don’t see it in front of me, but that’s just how my brain works. Plus if you’re on the phone trying to schedule something it’s nice to write it out too.", ">\n\nI'm sorry, we're already booked for giant spiders.", ">\n\nI personally kinda love this.", ">\n\nBest use of a miniscule amount of our tax dollars in the entire US $1.7T budget. US Army Corp wins the internet today!", ">\n\nHonestly, the entire army corps of engineers may be one of highest rates of return on public good vs funding", ">\n\nSeriously. They do a shit ton of quality and important public work on a relatively shoe-string budget for engineering. I have a lot of respect for the people that work at the USACOE.", ">\n\nSeptember, now that one is art", ">\n\nHaters will say it's Photoshop.", ">\n\nThey’ve never seen Catzilla.", ">\n\nHero of the Week! Hail yourself!", ">\n\nThere it is!", ">\n\n\nThe Army Corps Of Engineers Has Released a 2023 Calendar Of Giant Cats Attacking <\n\nr/brand new sentence \nAlso, giant cats attacking infrastructure is so 2020. In 2023 it just sounds silly.", ">\n\nSeptember ❤️", ">\n\nOmg. I love this. Especially the text blurbs on the pictures. Very funny and adorable!", ">\n\nSounds like they understand cats are required if you want social media traction", ">\n\nI have never wanted to buy a calendar more than I do now!", ">\n\nOn the one hand, I applaud the idea.\nOn the other hand, the photoshop skills look like they came from the army corps of engineers.", ">\n\nWould you actually want them to look like they were perfectly matched to each environment? I'm pretty sure the comedic effect is all that matters here.\nAnd besides, it was just one engineer that created this on their spare time, rather than an official ACE production.", ">\n\nI was mainly being a bit snarky because the internet. That, and what I said was objectively true.", ">\n\nCan confirm, the Corps of Engineers fuckkkkks", ">\n\nGoddammit I just bought my 2023 calendar too lol", ">\n\nThat’s cute though, not worrisome like a lot of other r/nottheonion posts.", ">\n\nAs ever, the Army Corps of Engineers are the one branch of the US state that can get the important shit done", ">\n\nFrom the comments ITT it's evident that most people are unaware of how important they are to the lives of the majority of productive people in this country (people who live near a coastline or a major body of water). It's not just dams and rivers, it's the actual physical coastline of america that they look after.", ">\n\nYup, it seems double edged- people think oh, they're the army corps and assumes they must be doing only military stuff. But equally if it was civilianised no doubt it'd be a target for cuts. An incredible org, regardless. And whether it's cats or weather or warming or the collapse of neglected infrastructure they're going to get more and more important so it's a damn good thing they exist because in 2023, nobody would invent them...", ">\n\nUSACE is an agency that is funded by the DOD but is vastly ran by civilians. There are very few enlisted or commissioned people in the army corps.", ">\n\nOK this is a thing and this is awesome", ">\n\nOops, I had \"Zombie Redneck Torture Family\" in the betting pool.", ">\n\nGrumble. Never gonna see a merman...", ">\n\nUSACE Portland District is one of the absolute best public sector social media presences out there. Seriously. Check it out.", ">\n\nCats in military pictures is an entire IG channel", ">\n\nGood boot", ">\n\nCommand team must be TDY", ">\n\nThat was even better than the title made me think it would be.", ">\n\nI support my tax dollars going to causes such as this.", ">\n\nFinally tax dollars doing something good", ">\n\nI’m kind of disappointed. From the title, I thought there would be photos of actual big cats attacking infrastructure, not photoshopped domestic cats. Anyone have a photo of a puma going after an electrical substation? Or a tiger gnawing on a water line?", ">\n\nNo. No one has that. Would be very interesting though to compile a calendar like that. Peace brother.", ">\n\nGreat, now I need a color printer.\nSeriously, thank you u/radioman8414!", ">\n\nThis is how I want my tax money spent. Downloaded and put up in my office!", ">\n\nThe regional social media guy who put this together is constantly hilarious", ">\n\nGreatest calendar of 2023.", ">\n\nI need one of these for my office! I've worked on some of these dams!", ">\n\nCan I ask you some dam questions?? I’m sure you know a lot of dam information. I’m sure all of us would love some dam stories. Thank you.", ">\n\nSure way to have a more interesting calendar than just infrastructure.", ">\n\nI would so adopt one if they existed.", ">\n\nI've heard army corps of engineers are very difficult to house train. May want to consider before adopting one.", ">\n\nTouché.", ">\n\nThat's amazing, thank you for posting it!", ">\n\nIs there anywhere to buy a nice physical copy of the calendar?", ">\n\nThose cats are mind-controlled by taxoplasmosis alien ameobas!", ">\n\nI was thinking this was gonna be mountain lions taking out maintenance huts or something like that. This is so much better", ">\n\nI’m the daughter of a former Portland, Oregon, US Army Corps Engineer, and I can confirm they are a strange crew. It makes me view the dams on the Columbia River fondly?", ">\n\nI love this so much.", ">\n\nDude. Awesome.", ">\n\nI love this! My astronomy teacher once did a talk on space cats. It was hysterical. Out of the blue he showed us pictures of space with cats added in. He felt we needed a fun class for laughs. I want this calendar.", ">\n\nThis would be really cool if they got a decent digital artist. But they didn't, they used photoshop about as well as I can.", ">\n\nI think that adds to the charm", ">\n\nDon't even need to see it, where can I buy it", ">\n\nFrom the link - \"Because the Army Corps is a Government Agency, the calendar is in public domain and totally free to download and print\"", ">\n\nThis is so funny, because it’s my Dad’s old workplace (from 1971 until he retired). My father, however, has zero sense of humor so he’d never work on something like this.", ">\n\nI met a guy from the Army Corps of Engineers when I worked for the EPA. Smartest guy I've ever met and the 2nd most hippe like person I've ever met. I'd like to think he had something to do with this idea.", ">\n\nFinally the massive military budget of the US is put to good use.", ">\n\nThis is awesome. I might have to buy one.", ">\n\nNo need. It's free, though you have to print it yourself if you want a physical copy", ">\n\nThis is so adorable! I approve wholeheartedly.", ">\n\nIt's about time.", ">\n\nSappers lead the way", ">\n\nI have so much love for this.", ">\n\nEhisssayons.", ">\n\nLove it.", ">\n\nUnintended benefits of relaxed Marijuana policies :)", ">\n\nUsace has not relaxed cannabis policies. No federal agency has", ">\n\nThey certainly have relaxed policy, even though federal law hasn't changed. It's legal in my state and the current administration has announced they won't be pursuing user level Marijuana charges at the federal level.\nWake up.", ">\n\nUSACE still falls under the same policies as the rest of the army. They're treated as DA civilians, and subject to periodic biochemical testing and the resultant consequences if they pee hot. The army has, and will not in the foreseeable future, relax any policy regarding marijuana.", ">\n\nAdorable idea; wish they had hired someone better at photoshop", ">\n\nIts a free gag calendar that was probably just put together by someone for fun in their spare time. Considering the state of infrastructure in the US I don't imagine the Corps of Engineers has a lot of extra spending money to throw around", ">\n\nIf they were smart, they would print it for us and sell it. I don't want a crappy calender that I printed on regular paper, I want the real thing and I would be glad to pay for it.", ">\n\nGenius!! This needs to be a trend. Reddit, make it so...", ">\n\nfuck yeah we finally gonna balance the budget", ">\n\nDecember's hilarious. I want this calender.", ">\n\nYou can totally tell that this is not real. The lighting on the cats is so obviously different than the environmental mistake. Pathetic effort infrastructure geeks.", ">\n\nSo they can blame cats for shoddy workmanship and lax maintenance.", ">\n\nDon't capitalize \"Of\" in titles", ">\n\nWish they'd focus on not taking eight years to permit a fucking project, those lazy excuses for engineers.", ">\n\nYou’re crazy dude. These peeps have built some amazing things. Extremely impressive.", ">\n\nThey used to.", ">\n\n😂", ">\n\nThis whole absurd thing is exactly my sense of humour. LOVE it.", ">\n\nOregon! I've seen the one at Detroit Dam. Sneaky bugger. Hangs out with Bigfoot.", ">\n\nI need this", ">\n\nThat's some adorable terrorism right there.", ">\n\nI remember seeing them, on quad bikes, with a lot of equipment, on Myrtle Beach beaches, I always wondered what they were doing...", ">\n\nI love this sequel to Beginning of the End!", ">\n\nIs there a way I can buy a physical version?", ">\n\nThey're Demo-cats!", ">\n\nAny recommendations of the best way to get this printed semi-professionally? I tried checking Costco photo centre but they make you use a template.", ">\n\nOf course it’s Portland.", ">\n\nKind of disappointing I can't actually buy a printed one. My daughter would love this." ]

[ "Imagine the work order. \nYour boss comes to you and says, \"Hey, you're in charge of the cats calendar.\"\n\"What calendar?\"\n\"The one with cats attacking infrastructure?\"\n\"What?\"", ">\n\nyou miss ONE day...", ">\n\nHail Vectron!", ">\n\nBy Vectron!", ">\n\nFor those yet to experience the holy might of Vectron's kindly claw", ">\n\nThank you. I had no idea.", ">\n\nYou are most welcome by Vectron", ">\n\nFor the love of all that is Vectron, your speech warms my Vectronic heart.", ">\n\nMay Vectron’s beard shed its benevolence upon us. 🙏🏻🙏🏻", ">\n\nAnd may all of his correspondence to us be sent Vectronically. So it is written, so shall it be done.", ">\n\nI live in Oregon and started to recognize a bunch of the dams, so I was like, “huh, that’s kinda cool.” Then I saw the text at the bottom of the first page. Portland District. Now a cat calendar makes perfect sense.", ">\n\nSame thing happened to me. I think I'm going to head to kinko's and have them print it out for me.", ">\n\nTell them you need to print some important official military documents before you show them what it is", ">\n\nDon’t forget to tell them you need it right meow!", ">\n\nWho will protect our infrastructure from this menace?", ">\n\nAn array of laser pointers.", ">\n\ncut to giant laser pointer satellite", ">\n\nomigod the jewish space lasers were real", ">\n\n*meowish space lasers", ">\n\nHey that's racist", ">\n\nI think it would be cheaper to buy a calendar than use the ink/toner required to print it.", ">\n\nThat's why you print it at work.", ">\n\nhaha true, oh wait I work from home...", ">\n\nIf you print from home for work you can write printer supplies off on your taxes :)", ">\n\nUh yes boss I needed a calendar, so… oh what? Use the company one? Ummm but the US army has a really nice one and I thought I’d be patriotic - what? Oh, yeah I know we’re in Canada, I just…", ">\n\nPortland is pretty much wannabe Vancouver, BC. I say it goes!", ">\n\nExactly what a Canadian would say...", ">\n\nGoodies, goodie goodie, yum yum.", ">\n\nI just scrolled until I found The Goodies reference but was wondering if I was going to find one at all.", ">\n\nIt's way down the list, isn't it? \n/knees hurt.", ">\n\nOw, my back! Get off my lawn!", ">\n\nOne engineer did it in his free time, and released it for use through the corps. \nThis was NOT government funded.", ">\n\nEven if it was government funded, I support this.", ">\n\nEven if it was government funded it would've been like maybe one day of pay at most? Not a ton for the amount of publicity they'll get that might make them even more money.", ">\n\nAssuming they already have the infrastructure pictures I would be surprised if it took more than 4 work hours. Also for chronically underfunded agencies that kind of PR is exactly how you get voters to convince the politicians to increase funds. I look forward to NASA figuring out how to photoshop giant cats playing with the planets like balls of yarn for their calendar", ">\n\n\nI look forward to NASA figuring out how to photoshop giant cats playing with the planets like balls of yarn for their calendar \n\nWell let me introduce you to the most bizarre social media messaging from an official U.S. government agency: The U.S. Consumer Product Safety Commission's Instagram feed. \nAnd before I catch any \"there's no way this is real\" replies, here's the Washington Post covering it: \n\nHow a federal bureaucrat uses astronaut babies and dogs riding pigeons to try to save your life", ">\n\nThis is rad!", ">\n\nCISA losing their shit rn", ">\n\nI would like one.", ">\n\nIt's a free PDF.", ">\n\nNo he would like one of the cats", ">\n\nyOu wOuLdN'T DoWnloAd a cAT", ">\n\nI can’t believe they included Sherlock getting knocked off a cliff. At least he didn’t jump this time.", ">\n\nI'm shocked that you're the only person I've seen comment on this so far! it's hilarious", ">\n\n\"Every year, dozens of cats attack important infrastructure for our country causing dozens of dollars of damage. Won't you help?\"", ">\n\nI heard this with Sarah McLoughlin's voice", ">\n\nArmy Cats", ">\n\nNow do it with pictures of our crumbling infrastructure.", ">\n\nThis seems like one of those things that is somehow going to age poorly given our Universe's current sense of irony. I don't know how exactly, but there's going to be some mass tragedy involving cats and a suspension bridge or something this year.", ">\n\nThe first image kind of reads like \"this infrastructure is super important so don't damage it\". The calendar almost seems like a shopping list for domestic terrorists or something lol.", ">\n\nI mean, pretty obvious that dams, substations, bridges and the like are good targets for chaos. Google maps gives you all this plus Police stations and everything, with photos and the address. Useless to worry about it", ">\n\nSeriously, anyone who unironicly think terrorists were waiting for a cat calendar to list a bunch of locations to bomb is paranoid about the wrong things.", ">\n\nCats would hunt and eat us if they were bigger than us", ">\n\nThey already do, they are called Tigers.", ">\n\nIf there were smaller tigers, we would keep them as pets, but they'd break all our stuff to prove they're still in charge.", ">\n\nThey already do, they are called Cats.", ">\n\nOH MY GOD!", ">\n\nMy tabby is a cute little tiger", ">\n\nI knew we had infrastructure challenges, but I didn't realize we were facing an infrastructure cat-astrophe!", ">\n\nTake my r/angryupvote", ">\n\nI love how shitty the photoshop is. Really ties it all together", ">\n\nYeah I like the idea--but the pictures chosen and color grading are all off. I'd like this idea better executed more professionally.", ">\n\nOh no I'm serious. The unprofessionalism is the best part. I would absolutely pay money for this", ">\n\nOnly only thing weirder is gonna be their crazy ass plan to save the infrastructure.", ">\n\nIt's the engineer Corp, they can build giant cat carriers.", ">\n\nI guess anything beats the 40 million they spend on viagra to keep the soldiers saluting.", ">\n\nThis is delightful", ">\n\ni was imagining mountain lions breaking in to dumpsters or something, not giant house cats gnawing on substations, not disappointed.", ">\n\nI don’t need a calendar now that our pocket rectangles handle all of that for us, but I really want this calendar.", ">\n\nIt is really convenient to just walk by my schedule versus having to pull it up, scroll, click and expand. I tend to forget about things if I don’t see it in front of me, but that’s just how my brain works. Plus if you’re on the phone trying to schedule something it’s nice to write it out too.", ">\n\nI'm sorry, we're already booked for giant spiders.", ">\n\nI personally kinda love this.", ">\n\nBest use of a miniscule amount of our tax dollars in the entire US $1.7T budget. US Army Corp wins the internet today!", ">\n\nHonestly, the entire army corps of engineers may be one of highest rates of return on public good vs funding", ">\n\nSeriously. They do a shit ton of quality and important public work on a relatively shoe-string budget for engineering. I have a lot of respect for the people that work at the USACOE.", ">\n\nSeptember, now that one is art", ">\n\nHaters will say it's Photoshop.", ">\n\nThey’ve never seen Catzilla.", ">\n\nHero of the Week! Hail yourself!", ">\n\nThere it is!", ">\n\n\nThe Army Corps Of Engineers Has Released a 2023 Calendar Of Giant Cats Attacking <\n\nr/brand new sentence \nAlso, giant cats attacking infrastructure is so 2020. In 2023 it just sounds silly.", ">\n\nSeptember ❤️", ">\n\nOmg. I love this. Especially the text blurbs on the pictures. Very funny and adorable!", ">\n\nSounds like they understand cats are required if you want social media traction", ">\n\nI have never wanted to buy a calendar more than I do now!", ">\n\nOn the one hand, I applaud the idea.\nOn the other hand, the photoshop skills look like they came from the army corps of engineers.", ">\n\nWould you actually want them to look like they were perfectly matched to each environment? I'm pretty sure the comedic effect is all that matters here.\nAnd besides, it was just one engineer that created this on their spare time, rather than an official ACE production.", ">\n\nI was mainly being a bit snarky because the internet. That, and what I said was objectively true.", ">\n\nCan confirm, the Corps of Engineers fuckkkkks", ">\n\nGoddammit I just bought my 2023 calendar too lol", ">\n\nThat’s cute though, not worrisome like a lot of other r/nottheonion posts.", ">\n\nAs ever, the Army Corps of Engineers are the one branch of the US state that can get the important shit done", ">\n\nFrom the comments ITT it's evident that most people are unaware of how important they are to the lives of the majority of productive people in this country (people who live near a coastline or a major body of water). It's not just dams and rivers, it's the actual physical coastline of america that they look after.", ">\n\nYup, it seems double edged- people think oh, they're the army corps and assumes they must be doing only military stuff. But equally if it was civilianised no doubt it'd be a target for cuts. An incredible org, regardless. And whether it's cats or weather or warming or the collapse of neglected infrastructure they're going to get more and more important so it's a damn good thing they exist because in 2023, nobody would invent them...", ">\n\nUSACE is an agency that is funded by the DOD but is vastly ran by civilians. There are very few enlisted or commissioned people in the army corps.", ">\n\nOK this is a thing and this is awesome", ">\n\nOops, I had \"Zombie Redneck Torture Family\" in the betting pool.", ">\n\nGrumble. Never gonna see a merman...", ">\n\nUSACE Portland District is one of the absolute best public sector social media presences out there. Seriously. Check it out.", ">\n\nCats in military pictures is an entire IG channel", ">\n\nGood boot", ">\n\nCommand team must be TDY", ">\n\nThat was even better than the title made me think it would be.", ">\n\nI support my tax dollars going to causes such as this.", ">\n\nFinally tax dollars doing something good", ">\n\nI’m kind of disappointed. From the title, I thought there would be photos of actual big cats attacking infrastructure, not photoshopped domestic cats. Anyone have a photo of a puma going after an electrical substation? Or a tiger gnawing on a water line?", ">\n\nNo. No one has that. Would be very interesting though to compile a calendar like that. Peace brother.", ">\n\nGreat, now I need a color printer.\nSeriously, thank you u/radioman8414!", ">\n\nThis is how I want my tax money spent. Downloaded and put up in my office!", ">\n\nThe regional social media guy who put this together is constantly hilarious", ">\n\nGreatest calendar of 2023.", ">\n\nI need one of these for my office! I've worked on some of these dams!", ">\n\nCan I ask you some dam questions?? I’m sure you know a lot of dam information. I’m sure all of us would love some dam stories. Thank you.", ">\n\nSure way to have a more interesting calendar than just infrastructure.", ">\n\nI would so adopt one if they existed.", ">\n\nI've heard army corps of engineers are very difficult to house train. May want to consider before adopting one.", ">\n\nTouché.", ">\n\nThat's amazing, thank you for posting it!", ">\n\nIs there anywhere to buy a nice physical copy of the calendar?", ">\n\nThose cats are mind-controlled by taxoplasmosis alien ameobas!", ">\n\nI was thinking this was gonna be mountain lions taking out maintenance huts or something like that. This is so much better", ">\n\nI’m the daughter of a former Portland, Oregon, US Army Corps Engineer, and I can confirm they are a strange crew. It makes me view the dams on the Columbia River fondly?", ">\n\nI love this so much.", ">\n\nDude. Awesome.", ">\n\nI love this! My astronomy teacher once did a talk on space cats. It was hysterical. Out of the blue he showed us pictures of space with cats added in. He felt we needed a fun class for laughs. I want this calendar.", ">\n\nThis would be really cool if they got a decent digital artist. But they didn't, they used photoshop about as well as I can.", ">\n\nI think that adds to the charm", ">\n\nDon't even need to see it, where can I buy it", ">\n\nFrom the link - \"Because the Army Corps is a Government Agency, the calendar is in public domain and totally free to download and print\"", ">\n\nThis is so funny, because it’s my Dad’s old workplace (from 1971 until he retired). My father, however, has zero sense of humor so he’d never work on something like this.", ">\n\nI met a guy from the Army Corps of Engineers when I worked for the EPA. Smartest guy I've ever met and the 2nd most hippe like person I've ever met. I'd like to think he had something to do with this idea.", ">\n\nFinally the massive military budget of the US is put to good use.", ">\n\nThis is awesome. I might have to buy one.", ">\n\nNo need. It's free, though you have to print it yourself if you want a physical copy", ">\n\nThis is so adorable! I approve wholeheartedly.", ">\n\nIt's about time.", ">\n\nSappers lead the way", ">\n\nI have so much love for this.", ">\n\nEhisssayons.", ">\n\nLove it.", ">\n\nUnintended benefits of relaxed Marijuana policies :)", ">\n\nUsace has not relaxed cannabis policies. No federal agency has", ">\n\nThey certainly have relaxed policy, even though federal law hasn't changed. It's legal in my state and the current administration has announced they won't be pursuing user level Marijuana charges at the federal level.\nWake up.", ">\n\nUSACE still falls under the same policies as the rest of the army. They're treated as DA civilians, and subject to periodic biochemical testing and the resultant consequences if they pee hot. The army has, and will not in the foreseeable future, relax any policy regarding marijuana.", ">\n\nAdorable idea; wish they had hired someone better at photoshop", ">\n\nIts a free gag calendar that was probably just put together by someone for fun in their spare time. Considering the state of infrastructure in the US I don't imagine the Corps of Engineers has a lot of extra spending money to throw around", ">\n\nIf they were smart, they would print it for us and sell it. I don't want a crappy calender that I printed on regular paper, I want the real thing and I would be glad to pay for it.", ">\n\nGenius!! This needs to be a trend. Reddit, make it so...", ">\n\nfuck yeah we finally gonna balance the budget", ">\n\nDecember's hilarious. I want this calender.", ">\n\nYou can totally tell that this is not real. The lighting on the cats is so obviously different than the environmental mistake. Pathetic effort infrastructure geeks.", ">\n\nSo they can blame cats for shoddy workmanship and lax maintenance.", ">\n\nDon't capitalize \"Of\" in titles", ">\n\nWish they'd focus on not taking eight years to permit a fucking project, those lazy excuses for engineers.", ">\n\nYou’re crazy dude. These peeps have built some amazing things. Extremely impressive.", ">\n\nThey used to.", ">\n\n😂", ">\n\nThis whole absurd thing is exactly my sense of humour. LOVE it.", ">\n\nOregon! I've seen the one at Detroit Dam. Sneaky bugger. Hangs out with Bigfoot.", ">\n\nI need this", ">\n\nThat's some adorable terrorism right there.", ">\n\nI remember seeing them, on quad bikes, with a lot of equipment, on Myrtle Beach beaches, I always wondered what they were doing...", ">\n\nI love this sequel to Beginning of the End!", ">\n\nIs there a way I can buy a physical version?", ">\n\nThey're Demo-cats!", ">\n\nAny recommendations of the best way to get this printed semi-professionally? I tried checking Costco photo centre but they make you use a template.", ">\n\nOf course it’s Portland.", ">\n\nKind of disappointing I can't actually buy a printed one. My daughter would love this.", ">\n\nA pretty good idea for a poster. Who doesn't like cats being cats?" ]

[ "Imagine the work order. \nYour boss comes to you and says, \"Hey, you're in charge of the cats calendar.\"\n\"What calendar?\"\n\"The one with cats attacking infrastructure?\"\n\"What?\"", ">\n\nyou miss ONE day...", ">\n\nHail Vectron!", ">\n\nBy Vectron!", ">\n\nFor those yet to experience the holy might of Vectron's kindly claw", ">\n\nThank you. I had no idea.", ">\n\nYou are most welcome by Vectron", ">\n\nFor the love of all that is Vectron, your speech warms my Vectronic heart.", ">\n\nMay Vectron’s beard shed its benevolence upon us. 🙏🏻🙏🏻", ">\n\nAnd may all of his correspondence to us be sent Vectronically. So it is written, so shall it be done.", ">\n\nI live in Oregon and started to recognize a bunch of the dams, so I was like, “huh, that’s kinda cool.” Then I saw the text at the bottom of the first page. Portland District. Now a cat calendar makes perfect sense.", ">\n\nSame thing happened to me. I think I'm going to head to kinko's and have them print it out for me.", ">\n\nTell them you need to print some important official military documents before you show them what it is", ">\n\nDon’t forget to tell them you need it right meow!", ">\n\nWho will protect our infrastructure from this menace?", ">\n\nAn array of laser pointers.", ">\n\ncut to giant laser pointer satellite", ">\n\nomigod the jewish space lasers were real", ">\n\n*meowish space lasers", ">\n\nHey that's racist", ">\n\nI think it would be cheaper to buy a calendar than use the ink/toner required to print it.", ">\n\nThat's why you print it at work.", ">\n\nhaha true, oh wait I work from home...", ">\n\nIf you print from home for work you can write printer supplies off on your taxes :)", ">\n\nUh yes boss I needed a calendar, so… oh what? Use the company one? Ummm but the US army has a really nice one and I thought I’d be patriotic - what? Oh, yeah I know we’re in Canada, I just…", ">\n\nPortland is pretty much wannabe Vancouver, BC. I say it goes!", ">\n\nExactly what a Canadian would say...", ">\n\nGoodies, goodie goodie, yum yum.", ">\n\nI just scrolled until I found The Goodies reference but was wondering if I was going to find one at all.", ">\n\nIt's way down the list, isn't it? \n/knees hurt.", ">\n\nOw, my back! Get off my lawn!", ">\n\nOne engineer did it in his free time, and released it for use through the corps. \nThis was NOT government funded.", ">\n\nEven if it was government funded, I support this.", ">\n\nEven if it was government funded it would've been like maybe one day of pay at most? Not a ton for the amount of publicity they'll get that might make them even more money.", ">\n\nAssuming they already have the infrastructure pictures I would be surprised if it took more than 4 work hours. Also for chronically underfunded agencies that kind of PR is exactly how you get voters to convince the politicians to increase funds. I look forward to NASA figuring out how to photoshop giant cats playing with the planets like balls of yarn for their calendar", ">\n\n\nI look forward to NASA figuring out how to photoshop giant cats playing with the planets like balls of yarn for their calendar \n\nWell let me introduce you to the most bizarre social media messaging from an official U.S. government agency: The U.S. Consumer Product Safety Commission's Instagram feed. \nAnd before I catch any \"there's no way this is real\" replies, here's the Washington Post covering it: \n\nHow a federal bureaucrat uses astronaut babies and dogs riding pigeons to try to save your life", ">\n\nThis is rad!", ">\n\nCISA losing their shit rn", ">\n\nI would like one.", ">\n\nIt's a free PDF.", ">\n\nNo he would like one of the cats", ">\n\nyOu wOuLdN'T DoWnloAd a cAT", ">\n\nI can’t believe they included Sherlock getting knocked off a cliff. At least he didn’t jump this time.", ">\n\nI'm shocked that you're the only person I've seen comment on this so far! it's hilarious", ">\n\n\"Every year, dozens of cats attack important infrastructure for our country causing dozens of dollars of damage. Won't you help?\"", ">\n\nI heard this with Sarah McLoughlin's voice", ">\n\nArmy Cats", ">\n\nNow do it with pictures of our crumbling infrastructure.", ">\n\nThis seems like one of those things that is somehow going to age poorly given our Universe's current sense of irony. I don't know how exactly, but there's going to be some mass tragedy involving cats and a suspension bridge or something this year.", ">\n\nThe first image kind of reads like \"this infrastructure is super important so don't damage it\". The calendar almost seems like a shopping list for domestic terrorists or something lol.", ">\n\nI mean, pretty obvious that dams, substations, bridges and the like are good targets for chaos. Google maps gives you all this plus Police stations and everything, with photos and the address. Useless to worry about it", ">\n\nSeriously, anyone who unironicly think terrorists were waiting for a cat calendar to list a bunch of locations to bomb is paranoid about the wrong things.", ">\n\nCats would hunt and eat us if they were bigger than us", ">\n\nThey already do, they are called Tigers.", ">\n\nIf there were smaller tigers, we would keep them as pets, but they'd break all our stuff to prove they're still in charge.", ">\n\nThey already do, they are called Cats.", ">\n\nOH MY GOD!", ">\n\nMy tabby is a cute little tiger", ">\n\nI knew we had infrastructure challenges, but I didn't realize we were facing an infrastructure cat-astrophe!", ">\n\nTake my r/angryupvote", ">\n\nI love how shitty the photoshop is. Really ties it all together", ">\n\nYeah I like the idea--but the pictures chosen and color grading are all off. I'd like this idea better executed more professionally.", ">\n\nOh no I'm serious. The unprofessionalism is the best part. I would absolutely pay money for this", ">\n\nOnly only thing weirder is gonna be their crazy ass plan to save the infrastructure.", ">\n\nIt's the engineer Corp, they can build giant cat carriers.", ">\n\nI guess anything beats the 40 million they spend on viagra to keep the soldiers saluting.", ">\n\nThis is delightful", ">\n\ni was imagining mountain lions breaking in to dumpsters or something, not giant house cats gnawing on substations, not disappointed.", ">\n\nI don’t need a calendar now that our pocket rectangles handle all of that for us, but I really want this calendar.", ">\n\nIt is really convenient to just walk by my schedule versus having to pull it up, scroll, click and expand. I tend to forget about things if I don’t see it in front of me, but that’s just how my brain works. Plus if you’re on the phone trying to schedule something it’s nice to write it out too.", ">\n\nI'm sorry, we're already booked for giant spiders.", ">\n\nI personally kinda love this.", ">\n\nBest use of a miniscule amount of our tax dollars in the entire US $1.7T budget. US Army Corp wins the internet today!", ">\n\nHonestly, the entire army corps of engineers may be one of highest rates of return on public good vs funding", ">\n\nSeriously. They do a shit ton of quality and important public work on a relatively shoe-string budget for engineering. I have a lot of respect for the people that work at the USACOE.", ">\n\nSeptember, now that one is art", ">\n\nHaters will say it's Photoshop.", ">\n\nThey’ve never seen Catzilla.", ">\n\nHero of the Week! Hail yourself!", ">\n\nThere it is!", ">\n\n\nThe Army Corps Of Engineers Has Released a 2023 Calendar Of Giant Cats Attacking <\n\nr/brand new sentence \nAlso, giant cats attacking infrastructure is so 2020. In 2023 it just sounds silly.", ">\n\nSeptember ❤️", ">\n\nOmg. I love this. Especially the text blurbs on the pictures. Very funny and adorable!", ">\n\nSounds like they understand cats are required if you want social media traction", ">\n\nI have never wanted to buy a calendar more than I do now!", ">\n\nOn the one hand, I applaud the idea.\nOn the other hand, the photoshop skills look like they came from the army corps of engineers.", ">\n\nWould you actually want them to look like they were perfectly matched to each environment? I'm pretty sure the comedic effect is all that matters here.\nAnd besides, it was just one engineer that created this on their spare time, rather than an official ACE production.", ">\n\nI was mainly being a bit snarky because the internet. That, and what I said was objectively true.", ">\n\nCan confirm, the Corps of Engineers fuckkkkks", ">\n\nGoddammit I just bought my 2023 calendar too lol", ">\n\nThat’s cute though, not worrisome like a lot of other r/nottheonion posts.", ">\n\nAs ever, the Army Corps of Engineers are the one branch of the US state that can get the important shit done", ">\n\nFrom the comments ITT it's evident that most people are unaware of how important they are to the lives of the majority of productive people in this country (people who live near a coastline or a major body of water). It's not just dams and rivers, it's the actual physical coastline of america that they look after.", ">\n\nYup, it seems double edged- people think oh, they're the army corps and assumes they must be doing only military stuff. But equally if it was civilianised no doubt it'd be a target for cuts. An incredible org, regardless. And whether it's cats or weather or warming or the collapse of neglected infrastructure they're going to get more and more important so it's a damn good thing they exist because in 2023, nobody would invent them...", ">\n\nUSACE is an agency that is funded by the DOD but is vastly ran by civilians. There are very few enlisted or commissioned people in the army corps.", ">\n\nOK this is a thing and this is awesome", ">\n\nOops, I had \"Zombie Redneck Torture Family\" in the betting pool.", ">\n\nGrumble. Never gonna see a merman...", ">\n\nUSACE Portland District is one of the absolute best public sector social media presences out there. Seriously. Check it out.", ">\n\nCats in military pictures is an entire IG channel", ">\n\nGood boot", ">\n\nCommand team must be TDY", ">\n\nThat was even better than the title made me think it would be.", ">\n\nI support my tax dollars going to causes such as this.", ">\n\nFinally tax dollars doing something good", ">\n\nI’m kind of disappointed. From the title, I thought there would be photos of actual big cats attacking infrastructure, not photoshopped domestic cats. Anyone have a photo of a puma going after an electrical substation? Or a tiger gnawing on a water line?", ">\n\nNo. No one has that. Would be very interesting though to compile a calendar like that. Peace brother.", ">\n\nGreat, now I need a color printer.\nSeriously, thank you u/radioman8414!", ">\n\nThis is how I want my tax money spent. Downloaded and put up in my office!", ">\n\nThe regional social media guy who put this together is constantly hilarious", ">\n\nGreatest calendar of 2023.", ">\n\nI need one of these for my office! I've worked on some of these dams!", ">\n\nCan I ask you some dam questions?? I’m sure you know a lot of dam information. I’m sure all of us would love some dam stories. Thank you.", ">\n\nSure way to have a more interesting calendar than just infrastructure.", ">\n\nI would so adopt one if they existed.", ">\n\nI've heard army corps of engineers are very difficult to house train. May want to consider before adopting one.", ">\n\nTouché.", ">\n\nThat's amazing, thank you for posting it!", ">\n\nIs there anywhere to buy a nice physical copy of the calendar?", ">\n\nThose cats are mind-controlled by taxoplasmosis alien ameobas!", ">\n\nI was thinking this was gonna be mountain lions taking out maintenance huts or something like that. This is so much better", ">\n\nI’m the daughter of a former Portland, Oregon, US Army Corps Engineer, and I can confirm they are a strange crew. It makes me view the dams on the Columbia River fondly?", ">\n\nI love this so much.", ">\n\nDude. Awesome.", ">\n\nI love this! My astronomy teacher once did a talk on space cats. It was hysterical. Out of the blue he showed us pictures of space with cats added in. He felt we needed a fun class for laughs. I want this calendar.", ">\n\nThis would be really cool if they got a decent digital artist. But they didn't, they used photoshop about as well as I can.", ">\n\nI think that adds to the charm", ">\n\nDon't even need to see it, where can I buy it", ">\n\nFrom the link - \"Because the Army Corps is a Government Agency, the calendar is in public domain and totally free to download and print\"", ">\n\nThis is so funny, because it’s my Dad’s old workplace (from 1971 until he retired). My father, however, has zero sense of humor so he’d never work on something like this.", ">\n\nI met a guy from the Army Corps of Engineers when I worked for the EPA. Smartest guy I've ever met and the 2nd most hippe like person I've ever met. I'd like to think he had something to do with this idea.", ">\n\nFinally the massive military budget of the US is put to good use.", ">\n\nThis is awesome. I might have to buy one.", ">\n\nNo need. It's free, though you have to print it yourself if you want a physical copy", ">\n\nThis is so adorable! I approve wholeheartedly.", ">\n\nIt's about time.", ">\n\nSappers lead the way", ">\n\nI have so much love for this.", ">\n\nEhisssayons.", ">\n\nLove it.", ">\n\nUnintended benefits of relaxed Marijuana policies :)", ">\n\nUsace has not relaxed cannabis policies. No federal agency has", ">\n\nThey certainly have relaxed policy, even though federal law hasn't changed. It's legal in my state and the current administration has announced they won't be pursuing user level Marijuana charges at the federal level.\nWake up.", ">\n\nUSACE still falls under the same policies as the rest of the army. They're treated as DA civilians, and subject to periodic biochemical testing and the resultant consequences if they pee hot. The army has, and will not in the foreseeable future, relax any policy regarding marijuana.", ">\n\nAdorable idea; wish they had hired someone better at photoshop", ">\n\nIts a free gag calendar that was probably just put together by someone for fun in their spare time. Considering the state of infrastructure in the US I don't imagine the Corps of Engineers has a lot of extra spending money to throw around", ">\n\nIf they were smart, they would print it for us and sell it. I don't want a crappy calender that I printed on regular paper, I want the real thing and I would be glad to pay for it.", ">\n\nGenius!! This needs to be a trend. Reddit, make it so...", ">\n\nfuck yeah we finally gonna balance the budget", ">\n\nDecember's hilarious. I want this calender.", ">\n\nYou can totally tell that this is not real. The lighting on the cats is so obviously different than the environmental mistake. Pathetic effort infrastructure geeks.", ">\n\nSo they can blame cats for shoddy workmanship and lax maintenance.", ">\n\nDon't capitalize \"Of\" in titles", ">\n\nWish they'd focus on not taking eight years to permit a fucking project, those lazy excuses for engineers.", ">\n\nYou’re crazy dude. These peeps have built some amazing things. Extremely impressive.", ">\n\nThey used to.", ">\n\n😂", ">\n\nThis whole absurd thing is exactly my sense of humour. LOVE it.", ">\n\nOregon! I've seen the one at Detroit Dam. Sneaky bugger. Hangs out with Bigfoot.", ">\n\nI need this", ">\n\nThat's some adorable terrorism right there.", ">\n\nI remember seeing them, on quad bikes, with a lot of equipment, on Myrtle Beach beaches, I always wondered what they were doing...", ">\n\nI love this sequel to Beginning of the End!", ">\n\nIs there a way I can buy a physical version?", ">\n\nThey're Demo-cats!", ">\n\nAny recommendations of the best way to get this printed semi-professionally? I tried checking Costco photo centre but they make you use a template.", ">\n\nOf course it’s Portland.", ">\n\nKind of disappointing I can't actually buy a printed one. My daughter would love this.", ">\n\nA pretty good idea for a poster. Who doesn't like cats being cats?", ">\n\nI really wish I had become a part of the ACOE but my mother didn't want her only son in the military." ]

[ "Imagine the work order. \nYour boss comes to you and says, \"Hey, you're in charge of the cats calendar.\"\n\"What calendar?\"\n\"The one with cats attacking infrastructure?\"\n\"What?\"", ">\n\nyou miss ONE day...", ">\n\nHail Vectron!", ">\n\nBy Vectron!", ">\n\nFor those yet to experience the holy might of Vectron's kindly claw", ">\n\nThank you. I had no idea.", ">\n\nYou are most welcome by Vectron", ">\n\nFor the love of all that is Vectron, your speech warms my Vectronic heart.", ">\n\nMay Vectron’s beard shed its benevolence upon us. 🙏🏻🙏🏻", ">\n\nAnd may all of his correspondence to us be sent Vectronically. So it is written, so shall it be done.", ">\n\nI live in Oregon and started to recognize a bunch of the dams, so I was like, “huh, that’s kinda cool.” Then I saw the text at the bottom of the first page. Portland District. Now a cat calendar makes perfect sense.", ">\n\nSame thing happened to me. I think I'm going to head to kinko's and have them print it out for me.", ">\n\nTell them you need to print some important official military documents before you show them what it is", ">\n\nDon’t forget to tell them you need it right meow!", ">\n\nWho will protect our infrastructure from this menace?", ">\n\nAn array of laser pointers.", ">\n\ncut to giant laser pointer satellite", ">\n\nomigod the jewish space lasers were real", ">\n\n*meowish space lasers", ">\n\nHey that's racist", ">\n\nI think it would be cheaper to buy a calendar than use the ink/toner required to print it.", ">\n\nThat's why you print it at work.", ">\n\nhaha true, oh wait I work from home...", ">\n\nIf you print from home for work you can write printer supplies off on your taxes :)", ">\n\nUh yes boss I needed a calendar, so… oh what? Use the company one? Ummm but the US army has a really nice one and I thought I’d be patriotic - what? Oh, yeah I know we’re in Canada, I just…", ">\n\nPortland is pretty much wannabe Vancouver, BC. I say it goes!", ">\n\nExactly what a Canadian would say...", ">\n\nGoodies, goodie goodie, yum yum.", ">\n\nI just scrolled until I found The Goodies reference but was wondering if I was going to find one at all.", ">\n\nIt's way down the list, isn't it? \n/knees hurt.", ">\n\nOw, my back! Get off my lawn!", ">\n\nOne engineer did it in his free time, and released it for use through the corps. \nThis was NOT government funded.", ">\n\nEven if it was government funded, I support this.", ">\n\nEven if it was government funded it would've been like maybe one day of pay at most? Not a ton for the amount of publicity they'll get that might make them even more money.", ">\n\nAssuming they already have the infrastructure pictures I would be surprised if it took more than 4 work hours. Also for chronically underfunded agencies that kind of PR is exactly how you get voters to convince the politicians to increase funds. I look forward to NASA figuring out how to photoshop giant cats playing with the planets like balls of yarn for their calendar", ">\n\n\nI look forward to NASA figuring out how to photoshop giant cats playing with the planets like balls of yarn for their calendar \n\nWell let me introduce you to the most bizarre social media messaging from an official U.S. government agency: The U.S. Consumer Product Safety Commission's Instagram feed. \nAnd before I catch any \"there's no way this is real\" replies, here's the Washington Post covering it: \n\nHow a federal bureaucrat uses astronaut babies and dogs riding pigeons to try to save your life", ">\n\nThis is rad!", ">\n\nCISA losing their shit rn", ">\n\nI would like one.", ">\n\nIt's a free PDF.", ">\n\nNo he would like one of the cats", ">\n\nyOu wOuLdN'T DoWnloAd a cAT", ">\n\nI can’t believe they included Sherlock getting knocked off a cliff. At least he didn’t jump this time.", ">\n\nI'm shocked that you're the only person I've seen comment on this so far! it's hilarious", ">\n\n\"Every year, dozens of cats attack important infrastructure for our country causing dozens of dollars of damage. Won't you help?\"", ">\n\nI heard this with Sarah McLoughlin's voice", ">\n\nArmy Cats", ">\n\nNow do it with pictures of our crumbling infrastructure.", ">\n\nThis seems like one of those things that is somehow going to age poorly given our Universe's current sense of irony. I don't know how exactly, but there's going to be some mass tragedy involving cats and a suspension bridge or something this year.", ">\n\nThe first image kind of reads like \"this infrastructure is super important so don't damage it\". The calendar almost seems like a shopping list for domestic terrorists or something lol.", ">\n\nI mean, pretty obvious that dams, substations, bridges and the like are good targets for chaos. Google maps gives you all this plus Police stations and everything, with photos and the address. Useless to worry about it", ">\n\nSeriously, anyone who unironicly think terrorists were waiting for a cat calendar to list a bunch of locations to bomb is paranoid about the wrong things.", ">\n\nCats would hunt and eat us if they were bigger than us", ">\n\nThey already do, they are called Tigers.", ">\n\nIf there were smaller tigers, we would keep them as pets, but they'd break all our stuff to prove they're still in charge.", ">\n\nThey already do, they are called Cats.", ">\n\nOH MY GOD!", ">\n\nMy tabby is a cute little tiger", ">\n\nI knew we had infrastructure challenges, but I didn't realize we were facing an infrastructure cat-astrophe!", ">\n\nTake my r/angryupvote", ">\n\nI love how shitty the photoshop is. Really ties it all together", ">\n\nYeah I like the idea--but the pictures chosen and color grading are all off. I'd like this idea better executed more professionally.", ">\n\nOh no I'm serious. The unprofessionalism is the best part. I would absolutely pay money for this", ">\n\nOnly only thing weirder is gonna be their crazy ass plan to save the infrastructure.", ">\n\nIt's the engineer Corp, they can build giant cat carriers.", ">\n\nI guess anything beats the 40 million they spend on viagra to keep the soldiers saluting.", ">\n\nThis is delightful", ">\n\ni was imagining mountain lions breaking in to dumpsters or something, not giant house cats gnawing on substations, not disappointed.", ">\n\nI don’t need a calendar now that our pocket rectangles handle all of that for us, but I really want this calendar.", ">\n\nIt is really convenient to just walk by my schedule versus having to pull it up, scroll, click and expand. I tend to forget about things if I don’t see it in front of me, but that’s just how my brain works. Plus if you’re on the phone trying to schedule something it’s nice to write it out too.", ">\n\nI'm sorry, we're already booked for giant spiders.", ">\n\nI personally kinda love this.", ">\n\nBest use of a miniscule amount of our tax dollars in the entire US $1.7T budget. US Army Corp wins the internet today!", ">\n\nHonestly, the entire army corps of engineers may be one of highest rates of return on public good vs funding", ">\n\nSeriously. They do a shit ton of quality and important public work on a relatively shoe-string budget for engineering. I have a lot of respect for the people that work at the USACOE.", ">\n\nSeptember, now that one is art", ">\n\nHaters will say it's Photoshop.", ">\n\nThey’ve never seen Catzilla.", ">\n\nHero of the Week! Hail yourself!", ">\n\nThere it is!", ">\n\n\nThe Army Corps Of Engineers Has Released a 2023 Calendar Of Giant Cats Attacking <\n\nr/brand new sentence \nAlso, giant cats attacking infrastructure is so 2020. In 2023 it just sounds silly.", ">\n\nSeptember ❤️", ">\n\nOmg. I love this. Especially the text blurbs on the pictures. Very funny and adorable!", ">\n\nSounds like they understand cats are required if you want social media traction", ">\n\nI have never wanted to buy a calendar more than I do now!", ">\n\nOn the one hand, I applaud the idea.\nOn the other hand, the photoshop skills look like they came from the army corps of engineers.", ">\n\nWould you actually want them to look like they were perfectly matched to each environment? I'm pretty sure the comedic effect is all that matters here.\nAnd besides, it was just one engineer that created this on their spare time, rather than an official ACE production.", ">\n\nI was mainly being a bit snarky because the internet. That, and what I said was objectively true.", ">\n\nCan confirm, the Corps of Engineers fuckkkkks", ">\n\nGoddammit I just bought my 2023 calendar too lol", ">\n\nThat’s cute though, not worrisome like a lot of other r/nottheonion posts.", ">\n\nAs ever, the Army Corps of Engineers are the one branch of the US state that can get the important shit done", ">\n\nFrom the comments ITT it's evident that most people are unaware of how important they are to the lives of the majority of productive people in this country (people who live near a coastline or a major body of water). It's not just dams and rivers, it's the actual physical coastline of america that they look after.", ">\n\nYup, it seems double edged- people think oh, they're the army corps and assumes they must be doing only military stuff. But equally if it was civilianised no doubt it'd be a target for cuts. An incredible org, regardless. And whether it's cats or weather or warming or the collapse of neglected infrastructure they're going to get more and more important so it's a damn good thing they exist because in 2023, nobody would invent them...", ">\n\nUSACE is an agency that is funded by the DOD but is vastly ran by civilians. There are very few enlisted or commissioned people in the army corps.", ">\n\nOK this is a thing and this is awesome", ">\n\nOops, I had \"Zombie Redneck Torture Family\" in the betting pool.", ">\n\nGrumble. Never gonna see a merman...", ">\n\nUSACE Portland District is one of the absolute best public sector social media presences out there. Seriously. Check it out.", ">\n\nCats in military pictures is an entire IG channel", ">\n\nGood boot", ">\n\nCommand team must be TDY", ">\n\nThat was even better than the title made me think it would be.", ">\n\nI support my tax dollars going to causes such as this.", ">\n\nFinally tax dollars doing something good", ">\n\nI’m kind of disappointed. From the title, I thought there would be photos of actual big cats attacking infrastructure, not photoshopped domestic cats. Anyone have a photo of a puma going after an electrical substation? Or a tiger gnawing on a water line?", ">\n\nNo. No one has that. Would be very interesting though to compile a calendar like that. Peace brother.", ">\n\nGreat, now I need a color printer.\nSeriously, thank you u/radioman8414!", ">\n\nThis is how I want my tax money spent. Downloaded and put up in my office!", ">\n\nThe regional social media guy who put this together is constantly hilarious", ">\n\nGreatest calendar of 2023.", ">\n\nI need one of these for my office! I've worked on some of these dams!", ">\n\nCan I ask you some dam questions?? I’m sure you know a lot of dam information. I’m sure all of us would love some dam stories. Thank you.", ">\n\nSure way to have a more interesting calendar than just infrastructure.", ">\n\nI would so adopt one if they existed.", ">\n\nI've heard army corps of engineers are very difficult to house train. May want to consider before adopting one.", ">\n\nTouché.", ">\n\nThat's amazing, thank you for posting it!", ">\n\nIs there anywhere to buy a nice physical copy of the calendar?", ">\n\nThose cats are mind-controlled by taxoplasmosis alien ameobas!", ">\n\nI was thinking this was gonna be mountain lions taking out maintenance huts or something like that. This is so much better", ">\n\nI’m the daughter of a former Portland, Oregon, US Army Corps Engineer, and I can confirm they are a strange crew. It makes me view the dams on the Columbia River fondly?", ">\n\nI love this so much.", ">\n\nDude. Awesome.", ">\n\nI love this! My astronomy teacher once did a talk on space cats. It was hysterical. Out of the blue he showed us pictures of space with cats added in. He felt we needed a fun class for laughs. I want this calendar.", ">\n\nThis would be really cool if they got a decent digital artist. But they didn't, they used photoshop about as well as I can.", ">\n\nI think that adds to the charm", ">\n\nDon't even need to see it, where can I buy it", ">\n\nFrom the link - \"Because the Army Corps is a Government Agency, the calendar is in public domain and totally free to download and print\"", ">\n\nThis is so funny, because it’s my Dad’s old workplace (from 1971 until he retired). My father, however, has zero sense of humor so he’d never work on something like this.", ">\n\nI met a guy from the Army Corps of Engineers when I worked for the EPA. Smartest guy I've ever met and the 2nd most hippe like person I've ever met. I'd like to think he had something to do with this idea.", ">\n\nFinally the massive military budget of the US is put to good use.", ">\n\nThis is awesome. I might have to buy one.", ">\n\nNo need. It's free, though you have to print it yourself if you want a physical copy", ">\n\nThis is so adorable! I approve wholeheartedly.", ">\n\nIt's about time.", ">\n\nSappers lead the way", ">\n\nI have so much love for this.", ">\n\nEhisssayons.", ">\n\nLove it.", ">\n\nUnintended benefits of relaxed Marijuana policies :)", ">\n\nUsace has not relaxed cannabis policies. No federal agency has", ">\n\nThey certainly have relaxed policy, even though federal law hasn't changed. It's legal in my state and the current administration has announced they won't be pursuing user level Marijuana charges at the federal level.\nWake up.", ">\n\nUSACE still falls under the same policies as the rest of the army. They're treated as DA civilians, and subject to periodic biochemical testing and the resultant consequences if they pee hot. The army has, and will not in the foreseeable future, relax any policy regarding marijuana.", ">\n\nAdorable idea; wish they had hired someone better at photoshop", ">\n\nIts a free gag calendar that was probably just put together by someone for fun in their spare time. Considering the state of infrastructure in the US I don't imagine the Corps of Engineers has a lot of extra spending money to throw around", ">\n\nIf they were smart, they would print it for us and sell it. I don't want a crappy calender that I printed on regular paper, I want the real thing and I would be glad to pay for it.", ">\n\nGenius!! This needs to be a trend. Reddit, make it so...", ">\n\nfuck yeah we finally gonna balance the budget", ">\n\nDecember's hilarious. I want this calender.", ">\n\nYou can totally tell that this is not real. The lighting on the cats is so obviously different than the environmental mistake. Pathetic effort infrastructure geeks.", ">\n\nSo they can blame cats for shoddy workmanship and lax maintenance.", ">\n\nDon't capitalize \"Of\" in titles", ">\n\nWish they'd focus on not taking eight years to permit a fucking project, those lazy excuses for engineers.", ">\n\nYou’re crazy dude. These peeps have built some amazing things. Extremely impressive.", ">\n\nThey used to.", ">\n\n😂", ">\n\nThis whole absurd thing is exactly my sense of humour. LOVE it.", ">\n\nOregon! I've seen the one at Detroit Dam. Sneaky bugger. Hangs out with Bigfoot.", ">\n\nI need this", ">\n\nThat's some adorable terrorism right there.", ">\n\nI remember seeing them, on quad bikes, with a lot of equipment, on Myrtle Beach beaches, I always wondered what they were doing...", ">\n\nI love this sequel to Beginning of the End!", ">\n\nIs there a way I can buy a physical version?", ">\n\nThey're Demo-cats!", ">\n\nAny recommendations of the best way to get this printed semi-professionally? I tried checking Costco photo centre but they make you use a template.", ">\n\nOf course it’s Portland.", ">\n\nKind of disappointing I can't actually buy a printed one. My daughter would love this.", ">\n\nA pretty good idea for a poster. Who doesn't like cats being cats?", ">\n\nI really wish I had become a part of the ACOE but my mother didn't want her only son in the military.", ">\n\nUsace has civilian positions you're employed by the army, but you don't go through basic" ]

[ "Imagine the work order. \nYour boss comes to you and says, \"Hey, you're in charge of the cats calendar.\"\n\"What calendar?\"\n\"The one with cats attacking infrastructure?\"\n\"What?\"", ">\n\nyou miss ONE day...", ">\n\nHail Vectron!", ">\n\nBy Vectron!", ">\n\nFor those yet to experience the holy might of Vectron's kindly claw", ">\n\nThank you. I had no idea.", ">\n\nYou are most welcome by Vectron", ">\n\nFor the love of all that is Vectron, your speech warms my Vectronic heart.", ">\n\nMay Vectron’s beard shed its benevolence upon us. 🙏🏻🙏🏻", ">\n\nAnd may all of his correspondence to us be sent Vectronically. So it is written, so shall it be done.", ">\n\nI live in Oregon and started to recognize a bunch of the dams, so I was like, “huh, that’s kinda cool.” Then I saw the text at the bottom of the first page. Portland District. Now a cat calendar makes perfect sense.", ">\n\nSame thing happened to me. I think I'm going to head to kinko's and have them print it out for me.", ">\n\nTell them you need to print some important official military documents before you show them what it is", ">\n\nDon’t forget to tell them you need it right meow!", ">\n\nWho will protect our infrastructure from this menace?", ">\n\nAn array of laser pointers.", ">\n\ncut to giant laser pointer satellite", ">\n\nomigod the jewish space lasers were real", ">\n\n*meowish space lasers", ">\n\nHey that's racist", ">\n\nI think it would be cheaper to buy a calendar than use the ink/toner required to print it.", ">\n\nThat's why you print it at work.", ">\n\nhaha true, oh wait I work from home...", ">\n\nIf you print from home for work you can write printer supplies off on your taxes :)", ">\n\nUh yes boss I needed a calendar, so… oh what? Use the company one? Ummm but the US army has a really nice one and I thought I’d be patriotic - what? Oh, yeah I know we’re in Canada, I just…", ">\n\nPortland is pretty much wannabe Vancouver, BC. I say it goes!", ">\n\nExactly what a Canadian would say...", ">\n\nGoodies, goodie goodie, yum yum.", ">\n\nI just scrolled until I found The Goodies reference but was wondering if I was going to find one at all.", ">\n\nIt's way down the list, isn't it? \n/knees hurt.", ">\n\nOw, my back! Get off my lawn!", ">\n\nOne engineer did it in his free time, and released it for use through the corps. \nThis was NOT government funded.", ">\n\nEven if it was government funded, I support this.", ">\n\nEven if it was government funded it would've been like maybe one day of pay at most? Not a ton for the amount of publicity they'll get that might make them even more money.", ">\n\nAssuming they already have the infrastructure pictures I would be surprised if it took more than 4 work hours. Also for chronically underfunded agencies that kind of PR is exactly how you get voters to convince the politicians to increase funds. I look forward to NASA figuring out how to photoshop giant cats playing with the planets like balls of yarn for their calendar", ">\n\n\nI look forward to NASA figuring out how to photoshop giant cats playing with the planets like balls of yarn for their calendar \n\nWell let me introduce you to the most bizarre social media messaging from an official U.S. government agency: The U.S. Consumer Product Safety Commission's Instagram feed. \nAnd before I catch any \"there's no way this is real\" replies, here's the Washington Post covering it: \n\nHow a federal bureaucrat uses astronaut babies and dogs riding pigeons to try to save your life", ">\n\nThis is rad!", ">\n\nCISA losing their shit rn", ">\n\nI would like one.", ">\n\nIt's a free PDF.", ">\n\nNo he would like one of the cats", ">\n\nyOu wOuLdN'T DoWnloAd a cAT", ">\n\nI can’t believe they included Sherlock getting knocked off a cliff. At least he didn’t jump this time.", ">\n\nI'm shocked that you're the only person I've seen comment on this so far! it's hilarious", ">\n\n\"Every year, dozens of cats attack important infrastructure for our country causing dozens of dollars of damage. Won't you help?\"", ">\n\nI heard this with Sarah McLoughlin's voice", ">\n\nArmy Cats", ">\n\nNow do it with pictures of our crumbling infrastructure.", ">\n\nThis seems like one of those things that is somehow going to age poorly given our Universe's current sense of irony. I don't know how exactly, but there's going to be some mass tragedy involving cats and a suspension bridge or something this year.", ">\n\nThe first image kind of reads like \"this infrastructure is super important so don't damage it\". The calendar almost seems like a shopping list for domestic terrorists or something lol.", ">\n\nI mean, pretty obvious that dams, substations, bridges and the like are good targets for chaos. Google maps gives you all this plus Police stations and everything, with photos and the address. Useless to worry about it", ">\n\nSeriously, anyone who unironicly think terrorists were waiting for a cat calendar to list a bunch of locations to bomb is paranoid about the wrong things.", ">\n\nCats would hunt and eat us if they were bigger than us", ">\n\nThey already do, they are called Tigers.", ">\n\nIf there were smaller tigers, we would keep them as pets, but they'd break all our stuff to prove they're still in charge.", ">\n\nThey already do, they are called Cats.", ">\n\nOH MY GOD!", ">\n\nMy tabby is a cute little tiger", ">\n\nI knew we had infrastructure challenges, but I didn't realize we were facing an infrastructure cat-astrophe!", ">\n\nTake my r/angryupvote", ">\n\nI love how shitty the photoshop is. Really ties it all together", ">\n\nYeah I like the idea--but the pictures chosen and color grading are all off. I'd like this idea better executed more professionally.", ">\n\nOh no I'm serious. The unprofessionalism is the best part. I would absolutely pay money for this", ">\n\nOnly only thing weirder is gonna be their crazy ass plan to save the infrastructure.", ">\n\nIt's the engineer Corp, they can build giant cat carriers.", ">\n\nI guess anything beats the 40 million they spend on viagra to keep the soldiers saluting.", ">\n\nThis is delightful", ">\n\ni was imagining mountain lions breaking in to dumpsters or something, not giant house cats gnawing on substations, not disappointed.", ">\n\nI don’t need a calendar now that our pocket rectangles handle all of that for us, but I really want this calendar.", ">\n\nIt is really convenient to just walk by my schedule versus having to pull it up, scroll, click and expand. I tend to forget about things if I don’t see it in front of me, but that’s just how my brain works. Plus if you’re on the phone trying to schedule something it’s nice to write it out too.", ">\n\nI'm sorry, we're already booked for giant spiders.", ">\n\nI personally kinda love this.", ">\n\nBest use of a miniscule amount of our tax dollars in the entire US $1.7T budget. US Army Corp wins the internet today!", ">\n\nHonestly, the entire army corps of engineers may be one of highest rates of return on public good vs funding", ">\n\nSeriously. They do a shit ton of quality and important public work on a relatively shoe-string budget for engineering. I have a lot of respect for the people that work at the USACOE.", ">\n\nSeptember, now that one is art", ">\n\nHaters will say it's Photoshop.", ">\n\nThey’ve never seen Catzilla.", ">\n\nHero of the Week! Hail yourself!", ">\n\nThere it is!", ">\n\n\nThe Army Corps Of Engineers Has Released a 2023 Calendar Of Giant Cats Attacking <\n\nr/brand new sentence \nAlso, giant cats attacking infrastructure is so 2020. In 2023 it just sounds silly.", ">\n\nSeptember ❤️", ">\n\nOmg. I love this. Especially the text blurbs on the pictures. Very funny and adorable!", ">\n\nSounds like they understand cats are required if you want social media traction", ">\n\nI have never wanted to buy a calendar more than I do now!", ">\n\nOn the one hand, I applaud the idea.\nOn the other hand, the photoshop skills look like they came from the army corps of engineers.", ">\n\nWould you actually want them to look like they were perfectly matched to each environment? I'm pretty sure the comedic effect is all that matters here.\nAnd besides, it was just one engineer that created this on their spare time, rather than an official ACE production.", ">\n\nI was mainly being a bit snarky because the internet. That, and what I said was objectively true.", ">\n\nCan confirm, the Corps of Engineers fuckkkkks", ">\n\nGoddammit I just bought my 2023 calendar too lol", ">\n\nThat’s cute though, not worrisome like a lot of other r/nottheonion posts.", ">\n\nAs ever, the Army Corps of Engineers are the one branch of the US state that can get the important shit done", ">\n\nFrom the comments ITT it's evident that most people are unaware of how important they are to the lives of the majority of productive people in this country (people who live near a coastline or a major body of water). It's not just dams and rivers, it's the actual physical coastline of america that they look after.", ">\n\nYup, it seems double edged- people think oh, they're the army corps and assumes they must be doing only military stuff. But equally if it was civilianised no doubt it'd be a target for cuts. An incredible org, regardless. And whether it's cats or weather or warming or the collapse of neglected infrastructure they're going to get more and more important so it's a damn good thing they exist because in 2023, nobody would invent them...", ">\n\nUSACE is an agency that is funded by the DOD but is vastly ran by civilians. There are very few enlisted or commissioned people in the army corps.", ">\n\nOK this is a thing and this is awesome", ">\n\nOops, I had \"Zombie Redneck Torture Family\" in the betting pool.", ">\n\nGrumble. Never gonna see a merman...", ">\n\nUSACE Portland District is one of the absolute best public sector social media presences out there. Seriously. Check it out.", ">\n\nCats in military pictures is an entire IG channel", ">\n\nGood boot", ">\n\nCommand team must be TDY", ">\n\nThat was even better than the title made me think it would be.", ">\n\nI support my tax dollars going to causes such as this.", ">\n\nFinally tax dollars doing something good", ">\n\nI’m kind of disappointed. From the title, I thought there would be photos of actual big cats attacking infrastructure, not photoshopped domestic cats. Anyone have a photo of a puma going after an electrical substation? Or a tiger gnawing on a water line?", ">\n\nNo. No one has that. Would be very interesting though to compile a calendar like that. Peace brother.", ">\n\nGreat, now I need a color printer.\nSeriously, thank you u/radioman8414!", ">\n\nThis is how I want my tax money spent. Downloaded and put up in my office!", ">\n\nThe regional social media guy who put this together is constantly hilarious", ">\n\nGreatest calendar of 2023.", ">\n\nI need one of these for my office! I've worked on some of these dams!", ">\n\nCan I ask you some dam questions?? I’m sure you know a lot of dam information. I’m sure all of us would love some dam stories. Thank you.", ">\n\nSure way to have a more interesting calendar than just infrastructure.", ">\n\nI would so adopt one if they existed.", ">\n\nI've heard army corps of engineers are very difficult to house train. May want to consider before adopting one.", ">\n\nTouché.", ">\n\nThat's amazing, thank you for posting it!", ">\n\nIs there anywhere to buy a nice physical copy of the calendar?", ">\n\nThose cats are mind-controlled by taxoplasmosis alien ameobas!", ">\n\nI was thinking this was gonna be mountain lions taking out maintenance huts or something like that. This is so much better", ">\n\nI’m the daughter of a former Portland, Oregon, US Army Corps Engineer, and I can confirm they are a strange crew. It makes me view the dams on the Columbia River fondly?", ">\n\nI love this so much.", ">\n\nDude. Awesome.", ">\n\nI love this! My astronomy teacher once did a talk on space cats. It was hysterical. Out of the blue he showed us pictures of space with cats added in. He felt we needed a fun class for laughs. I want this calendar.", ">\n\nThis would be really cool if they got a decent digital artist. But they didn't, they used photoshop about as well as I can.", ">\n\nI think that adds to the charm", ">\n\nDon't even need to see it, where can I buy it", ">\n\nFrom the link - \"Because the Army Corps is a Government Agency, the calendar is in public domain and totally free to download and print\"", ">\n\nThis is so funny, because it’s my Dad’s old workplace (from 1971 until he retired). My father, however, has zero sense of humor so he’d never work on something like this.", ">\n\nI met a guy from the Army Corps of Engineers when I worked for the EPA. Smartest guy I've ever met and the 2nd most hippe like person I've ever met. I'd like to think he had something to do with this idea.", ">\n\nFinally the massive military budget of the US is put to good use.", ">\n\nThis is awesome. I might have to buy one.", ">\n\nNo need. It's free, though you have to print it yourself if you want a physical copy", ">\n\nThis is so adorable! I approve wholeheartedly.", ">\n\nIt's about time.", ">\n\nSappers lead the way", ">\n\nI have so much love for this.", ">\n\nEhisssayons.", ">\n\nLove it.", ">\n\nUnintended benefits of relaxed Marijuana policies :)", ">\n\nUsace has not relaxed cannabis policies. No federal agency has", ">\n\nThey certainly have relaxed policy, even though federal law hasn't changed. It's legal in my state and the current administration has announced they won't be pursuing user level Marijuana charges at the federal level.\nWake up.", ">\n\nUSACE still falls under the same policies as the rest of the army. They're treated as DA civilians, and subject to periodic biochemical testing and the resultant consequences if they pee hot. The army has, and will not in the foreseeable future, relax any policy regarding marijuana.", ">\n\nAdorable idea; wish they had hired someone better at photoshop", ">\n\nIts a free gag calendar that was probably just put together by someone for fun in their spare time. Considering the state of infrastructure in the US I don't imagine the Corps of Engineers has a lot of extra spending money to throw around", ">\n\nIf they were smart, they would print it for us and sell it. I don't want a crappy calender that I printed on regular paper, I want the real thing and I would be glad to pay for it.", ">\n\nGenius!! This needs to be a trend. Reddit, make it so...", ">\n\nfuck yeah we finally gonna balance the budget", ">\n\nDecember's hilarious. I want this calender.", ">\n\nYou can totally tell that this is not real. The lighting on the cats is so obviously different than the environmental mistake. Pathetic effort infrastructure geeks.", ">\n\nSo they can blame cats for shoddy workmanship and lax maintenance.", ">\n\nDon't capitalize \"Of\" in titles", ">\n\nWish they'd focus on not taking eight years to permit a fucking project, those lazy excuses for engineers.", ">\n\nYou’re crazy dude. These peeps have built some amazing things. Extremely impressive.", ">\n\nThey used to.", ">\n\n😂", ">\n\nThis whole absurd thing is exactly my sense of humour. LOVE it.", ">\n\nOregon! I've seen the one at Detroit Dam. Sneaky bugger. Hangs out with Bigfoot.", ">\n\nI need this", ">\n\nThat's some adorable terrorism right there.", ">\n\nI remember seeing them, on quad bikes, with a lot of equipment, on Myrtle Beach beaches, I always wondered what they were doing...", ">\n\nI love this sequel to Beginning of the End!", ">\n\nIs there a way I can buy a physical version?", ">\n\nThey're Demo-cats!", ">\n\nAny recommendations of the best way to get this printed semi-professionally? I tried checking Costco photo centre but they make you use a template.", ">\n\nOf course it’s Portland.", ">\n\nKind of disappointing I can't actually buy a printed one. My daughter would love this.", ">\n\nA pretty good idea for a poster. Who doesn't like cats being cats?", ">\n\nI really wish I had become a part of the ACOE but my mother didn't want her only son in the military.", ">\n\nUsace has civilian positions you're employed by the army, but you don't go through basic", ">\n\nI hope they pay more than Nidec." ]

[ "Imagine the work order. \nYour boss comes to you and says, \"Hey, you're in charge of the cats calendar.\"\n\"What calendar?\"\n\"The one with cats attacking infrastructure?\"\n\"What?\"", ">\n\nyou miss ONE day...", ">\n\nHail Vectron!", ">\n\nBy Vectron!", ">\n\nFor those yet to experience the holy might of Vectron's kindly claw", ">\n\nThank you. I had no idea.", ">\n\nYou are most welcome by Vectron", ">\n\nFor the love of all that is Vectron, your speech warms my Vectronic heart.", ">\n\nMay Vectron’s beard shed its benevolence upon us. 🙏🏻🙏🏻", ">\n\nAnd may all of his correspondence to us be sent Vectronically. So it is written, so shall it be done.", ">\n\nI live in Oregon and started to recognize a bunch of the dams, so I was like, “huh, that’s kinda cool.” Then I saw the text at the bottom of the first page. Portland District. Now a cat calendar makes perfect sense.", ">\n\nSame thing happened to me. I think I'm going to head to kinko's and have them print it out for me.", ">\n\nTell them you need to print some important official military documents before you show them what it is", ">\n\nDon’t forget to tell them you need it right meow!", ">\n\nWho will protect our infrastructure from this menace?", ">\n\nAn array of laser pointers.", ">\n\ncut to giant laser pointer satellite", ">\n\nomigod the jewish space lasers were real", ">\n\n*meowish space lasers", ">\n\nHey that's racist", ">\n\nI think it would be cheaper to buy a calendar than use the ink/toner required to print it.", ">\n\nThat's why you print it at work.", ">\n\nhaha true, oh wait I work from home...", ">\n\nIf you print from home for work you can write printer supplies off on your taxes :)", ">\n\nUh yes boss I needed a calendar, so… oh what? Use the company one? Ummm but the US army has a really nice one and I thought I’d be patriotic - what? Oh, yeah I know we’re in Canada, I just…", ">\n\nPortland is pretty much wannabe Vancouver, BC. I say it goes!", ">\n\nExactly what a Canadian would say...", ">\n\nGoodies, goodie goodie, yum yum.", ">\n\nI just scrolled until I found The Goodies reference but was wondering if I was going to find one at all.", ">\n\nIt's way down the list, isn't it? \n/knees hurt.", ">\n\nOw, my back! Get off my lawn!", ">\n\nOne engineer did it in his free time, and released it for use through the corps. \nThis was NOT government funded.", ">\n\nEven if it was government funded, I support this.", ">\n\nEven if it was government funded it would've been like maybe one day of pay at most? Not a ton for the amount of publicity they'll get that might make them even more money.", ">\n\nAssuming they already have the infrastructure pictures I would be surprised if it took more than 4 work hours. Also for chronically underfunded agencies that kind of PR is exactly how you get voters to convince the politicians to increase funds. I look forward to NASA figuring out how to photoshop giant cats playing with the planets like balls of yarn for their calendar", ">\n\n\nI look forward to NASA figuring out how to photoshop giant cats playing with the planets like balls of yarn for their calendar \n\nWell let me introduce you to the most bizarre social media messaging from an official U.S. government agency: The U.S. Consumer Product Safety Commission's Instagram feed. \nAnd before I catch any \"there's no way this is real\" replies, here's the Washington Post covering it: \n\nHow a federal bureaucrat uses astronaut babies and dogs riding pigeons to try to save your life", ">\n\nThis is rad!", ">\n\nCISA losing their shit rn", ">\n\nI would like one.", ">\n\nIt's a free PDF.", ">\n\nNo he would like one of the cats", ">\n\nyOu wOuLdN'T DoWnloAd a cAT", ">\n\nI can’t believe they included Sherlock getting knocked off a cliff. At least he didn’t jump this time.", ">\n\nI'm shocked that you're the only person I've seen comment on this so far! it's hilarious", ">\n\n\"Every year, dozens of cats attack important infrastructure for our country causing dozens of dollars of damage. Won't you help?\"", ">\n\nI heard this with Sarah McLoughlin's voice", ">\n\nArmy Cats", ">\n\nNow do it with pictures of our crumbling infrastructure.", ">\n\nThis seems like one of those things that is somehow going to age poorly given our Universe's current sense of irony. I don't know how exactly, but there's going to be some mass tragedy involving cats and a suspension bridge or something this year.", ">\n\nThe first image kind of reads like \"this infrastructure is super important so don't damage it\". The calendar almost seems like a shopping list for domestic terrorists or something lol.", ">\n\nI mean, pretty obvious that dams, substations, bridges and the like are good targets for chaos. Google maps gives you all this plus Police stations and everything, with photos and the address. Useless to worry about it", ">\n\nSeriously, anyone who unironicly think terrorists were waiting for a cat calendar to list a bunch of locations to bomb is paranoid about the wrong things.", ">\n\nCats would hunt and eat us if they were bigger than us", ">\n\nThey already do, they are called Tigers.", ">\n\nIf there were smaller tigers, we would keep them as pets, but they'd break all our stuff to prove they're still in charge.", ">\n\nThey already do, they are called Cats.", ">\n\nOH MY GOD!", ">\n\nMy tabby is a cute little tiger", ">\n\nI knew we had infrastructure challenges, but I didn't realize we were facing an infrastructure cat-astrophe!", ">\n\nTake my r/angryupvote", ">\n\nI love how shitty the photoshop is. Really ties it all together", ">\n\nYeah I like the idea--but the pictures chosen and color grading are all off. I'd like this idea better executed more professionally.", ">\n\nOh no I'm serious. The unprofessionalism is the best part. I would absolutely pay money for this", ">\n\nOnly only thing weirder is gonna be their crazy ass plan to save the infrastructure.", ">\n\nIt's the engineer Corp, they can build giant cat carriers.", ">\n\nI guess anything beats the 40 million they spend on viagra to keep the soldiers saluting.", ">\n\nThis is delightful", ">\n\ni was imagining mountain lions breaking in to dumpsters or something, not giant house cats gnawing on substations, not disappointed.", ">\n\nI don’t need a calendar now that our pocket rectangles handle all of that for us, but I really want this calendar.", ">\n\nIt is really convenient to just walk by my schedule versus having to pull it up, scroll, click and expand. I tend to forget about things if I don’t see it in front of me, but that’s just how my brain works. Plus if you’re on the phone trying to schedule something it’s nice to write it out too.", ">\n\nI'm sorry, we're already booked for giant spiders.", ">\n\nI personally kinda love this.", ">\n\nBest use of a miniscule amount of our tax dollars in the entire US $1.7T budget. US Army Corp wins the internet today!", ">\n\nHonestly, the entire army corps of engineers may be one of highest rates of return on public good vs funding", ">\n\nSeriously. They do a shit ton of quality and important public work on a relatively shoe-string budget for engineering. I have a lot of respect for the people that work at the USACOE.", ">\n\nSeptember, now that one is art", ">\n\nHaters will say it's Photoshop.", ">\n\nThey’ve never seen Catzilla.", ">\n\nHero of the Week! Hail yourself!", ">\n\nThere it is!", ">\n\n\nThe Army Corps Of Engineers Has Released a 2023 Calendar Of Giant Cats Attacking <\n\nr/brand new sentence \nAlso, giant cats attacking infrastructure is so 2020. In 2023 it just sounds silly.", ">\n\nSeptember ❤️", ">\n\nOmg. I love this. Especially the text blurbs on the pictures. Very funny and adorable!", ">\n\nSounds like they understand cats are required if you want social media traction", ">\n\nI have never wanted to buy a calendar more than I do now!", ">\n\nOn the one hand, I applaud the idea.\nOn the other hand, the photoshop skills look like they came from the army corps of engineers.", ">\n\nWould you actually want them to look like they were perfectly matched to each environment? I'm pretty sure the comedic effect is all that matters here.\nAnd besides, it was just one engineer that created this on their spare time, rather than an official ACE production.", ">\n\nI was mainly being a bit snarky because the internet. That, and what I said was objectively true.", ">\n\nCan confirm, the Corps of Engineers fuckkkkks", ">\n\nGoddammit I just bought my 2023 calendar too lol", ">\n\nThat’s cute though, not worrisome like a lot of other r/nottheonion posts.", ">\n\nAs ever, the Army Corps of Engineers are the one branch of the US state that can get the important shit done", ">\n\nFrom the comments ITT it's evident that most people are unaware of how important they are to the lives of the majority of productive people in this country (people who live near a coastline or a major body of water). It's not just dams and rivers, it's the actual physical coastline of america that they look after.", ">\n\nYup, it seems double edged- people think oh, they're the army corps and assumes they must be doing only military stuff. But equally if it was civilianised no doubt it'd be a target for cuts. An incredible org, regardless. And whether it's cats or weather or warming or the collapse of neglected infrastructure they're going to get more and more important so it's a damn good thing they exist because in 2023, nobody would invent them...", ">\n\nUSACE is an agency that is funded by the DOD but is vastly ran by civilians. There are very few enlisted or commissioned people in the army corps.", ">\n\nOK this is a thing and this is awesome", ">\n\nOops, I had \"Zombie Redneck Torture Family\" in the betting pool.", ">\n\nGrumble. Never gonna see a merman...", ">\n\nUSACE Portland District is one of the absolute best public sector social media presences out there. Seriously. Check it out.", ">\n\nCats in military pictures is an entire IG channel", ">\n\nGood boot", ">\n\nCommand team must be TDY", ">\n\nThat was even better than the title made me think it would be.", ">\n\nI support my tax dollars going to causes such as this.", ">\n\nFinally tax dollars doing something good", ">\n\nI’m kind of disappointed. From the title, I thought there would be photos of actual big cats attacking infrastructure, not photoshopped domestic cats. Anyone have a photo of a puma going after an electrical substation? Or a tiger gnawing on a water line?", ">\n\nNo. No one has that. Would be very interesting though to compile a calendar like that. Peace brother.", ">\n\nGreat, now I need a color printer.\nSeriously, thank you u/radioman8414!", ">\n\nThis is how I want my tax money spent. Downloaded and put up in my office!", ">\n\nThe regional social media guy who put this together is constantly hilarious", ">\n\nGreatest calendar of 2023.", ">\n\nI need one of these for my office! I've worked on some of these dams!", ">\n\nCan I ask you some dam questions?? I’m sure you know a lot of dam information. I’m sure all of us would love some dam stories. Thank you.", ">\n\nSure way to have a more interesting calendar than just infrastructure.", ">\n\nI would so adopt one if they existed.", ">\n\nI've heard army corps of engineers are very difficult to house train. May want to consider before adopting one.", ">\n\nTouché.", ">\n\nThat's amazing, thank you for posting it!", ">\n\nIs there anywhere to buy a nice physical copy of the calendar?", ">\n\nThose cats are mind-controlled by taxoplasmosis alien ameobas!", ">\n\nI was thinking this was gonna be mountain lions taking out maintenance huts or something like that. This is so much better", ">\n\nI’m the daughter of a former Portland, Oregon, US Army Corps Engineer, and I can confirm they are a strange crew. It makes me view the dams on the Columbia River fondly?", ">\n\nI love this so much.", ">\n\nDude. Awesome.", ">\n\nI love this! My astronomy teacher once did a talk on space cats. It was hysterical. Out of the blue he showed us pictures of space with cats added in. He felt we needed a fun class for laughs. I want this calendar.", ">\n\nThis would be really cool if they got a decent digital artist. But they didn't, they used photoshop about as well as I can.", ">\n\nI think that adds to the charm", ">\n\nDon't even need to see it, where can I buy it", ">\n\nFrom the link - \"Because the Army Corps is a Government Agency, the calendar is in public domain and totally free to download and print\"", ">\n\nThis is so funny, because it’s my Dad’s old workplace (from 1971 until he retired). My father, however, has zero sense of humor so he’d never work on something like this.", ">\n\nI met a guy from the Army Corps of Engineers when I worked for the EPA. Smartest guy I've ever met and the 2nd most hippe like person I've ever met. I'd like to think he had something to do with this idea.", ">\n\nFinally the massive military budget of the US is put to good use.", ">\n\nThis is awesome. I might have to buy one.", ">\n\nNo need. It's free, though you have to print it yourself if you want a physical copy", ">\n\nThis is so adorable! I approve wholeheartedly.", ">\n\nIt's about time.", ">\n\nSappers lead the way", ">\n\nI have so much love for this.", ">\n\nEhisssayons.", ">\n\nLove it.", ">\n\nUnintended benefits of relaxed Marijuana policies :)", ">\n\nUsace has not relaxed cannabis policies. No federal agency has", ">\n\nThey certainly have relaxed policy, even though federal law hasn't changed. It's legal in my state and the current administration has announced they won't be pursuing user level Marijuana charges at the federal level.\nWake up.", ">\n\nUSACE still falls under the same policies as the rest of the army. They're treated as DA civilians, and subject to periodic biochemical testing and the resultant consequences if they pee hot. The army has, and will not in the foreseeable future, relax any policy regarding marijuana.", ">\n\nAdorable idea; wish they had hired someone better at photoshop", ">\n\nIts a free gag calendar that was probably just put together by someone for fun in their spare time. Considering the state of infrastructure in the US I don't imagine the Corps of Engineers has a lot of extra spending money to throw around", ">\n\nIf they were smart, they would print it for us and sell it. I don't want a crappy calender that I printed on regular paper, I want the real thing and I would be glad to pay for it.", ">\n\nGenius!! This needs to be a trend. Reddit, make it so...", ">\n\nfuck yeah we finally gonna balance the budget", ">\n\nDecember's hilarious. I want this calender.", ">\n\nYou can totally tell that this is not real. The lighting on the cats is so obviously different than the environmental mistake. Pathetic effort infrastructure geeks.", ">\n\nSo they can blame cats for shoddy workmanship and lax maintenance.", ">\n\nDon't capitalize \"Of\" in titles", ">\n\nWish they'd focus on not taking eight years to permit a fucking project, those lazy excuses for engineers.", ">\n\nYou’re crazy dude. These peeps have built some amazing things. Extremely impressive.", ">\n\nThey used to.", ">\n\n😂", ">\n\nThis whole absurd thing is exactly my sense of humour. LOVE it.", ">\n\nOregon! I've seen the one at Detroit Dam. Sneaky bugger. Hangs out with Bigfoot.", ">\n\nI need this", ">\n\nThat's some adorable terrorism right there.", ">\n\nI remember seeing them, on quad bikes, with a lot of equipment, on Myrtle Beach beaches, I always wondered what they were doing...", ">\n\nI love this sequel to Beginning of the End!", ">\n\nIs there a way I can buy a physical version?", ">\n\nThey're Demo-cats!", ">\n\nAny recommendations of the best way to get this printed semi-professionally? I tried checking Costco photo centre but they make you use a template.", ">\n\nOf course it’s Portland.", ">\n\nKind of disappointing I can't actually buy a printed one. My daughter would love this.", ">\n\nA pretty good idea for a poster. Who doesn't like cats being cats?", ">\n\nI really wish I had become a part of the ACOE but my mother didn't want her only son in the military.", ">\n\nUsace has civilian positions you're employed by the army, but you don't go through basic", ">\n\nI hope they pay more than Nidec.", ">\n\nThanks for sharing! Downloaded and got my new Lock Screen wallpaper." ]

[ "Imagine the work order. \nYour boss comes to you and says, \"Hey, you're in charge of the cats calendar.\"\n\"What calendar?\"\n\"The one with cats attacking infrastructure?\"\n\"What?\"", ">\n\nyou miss ONE day...", ">\n\nHail Vectron!", ">\n\nBy Vectron!", ">\n\nFor those yet to experience the holy might of Vectron's kindly claw", ">\n\nThank you. I had no idea.", ">\n\nYou are most welcome by Vectron", ">\n\nFor the love of all that is Vectron, your speech warms my Vectronic heart.", ">\n\nMay Vectron’s beard shed its benevolence upon us. 🙏🏻🙏🏻", ">\n\nAnd may all of his correspondence to us be sent Vectronically. So it is written, so shall it be done.", ">\n\nI live in Oregon and started to recognize a bunch of the dams, so I was like, “huh, that’s kinda cool.” Then I saw the text at the bottom of the first page. Portland District. Now a cat calendar makes perfect sense.", ">\n\nSame thing happened to me. I think I'm going to head to kinko's and have them print it out for me.", ">\n\nTell them you need to print some important official military documents before you show them what it is", ">\n\nDon’t forget to tell them you need it right meow!", ">\n\nWho will protect our infrastructure from this menace?", ">\n\nAn array of laser pointers.", ">\n\ncut to giant laser pointer satellite", ">\n\nomigod the jewish space lasers were real", ">\n\n*meowish space lasers", ">\n\nHey that's racist", ">\n\nI think it would be cheaper to buy a calendar than use the ink/toner required to print it.", ">\n\nThat's why you print it at work.", ">\n\nhaha true, oh wait I work from home...", ">\n\nIf you print from home for work you can write printer supplies off on your taxes :)", ">\n\nUh yes boss I needed a calendar, so… oh what? Use the company one? Ummm but the US army has a really nice one and I thought I’d be patriotic - what? Oh, yeah I know we’re in Canada, I just…", ">\n\nPortland is pretty much wannabe Vancouver, BC. I say it goes!", ">\n\nExactly what a Canadian would say...", ">\n\nGoodies, goodie goodie, yum yum.", ">\n\nI just scrolled until I found The Goodies reference but was wondering if I was going to find one at all.", ">\n\nIt's way down the list, isn't it? \n/knees hurt.", ">\n\nOw, my back! Get off my lawn!", ">\n\nOne engineer did it in his free time, and released it for use through the corps. \nThis was NOT government funded.", ">\n\nEven if it was government funded, I support this.", ">\n\nEven if it was government funded it would've been like maybe one day of pay at most? Not a ton for the amount of publicity they'll get that might make them even more money.", ">\n\nAssuming they already have the infrastructure pictures I would be surprised if it took more than 4 work hours. Also for chronically underfunded agencies that kind of PR is exactly how you get voters to convince the politicians to increase funds. I look forward to NASA figuring out how to photoshop giant cats playing with the planets like balls of yarn for their calendar", ">\n\n\nI look forward to NASA figuring out how to photoshop giant cats playing with the planets like balls of yarn for their calendar \n\nWell let me introduce you to the most bizarre social media messaging from an official U.S. government agency: The U.S. Consumer Product Safety Commission's Instagram feed. \nAnd before I catch any \"there's no way this is real\" replies, here's the Washington Post covering it: \n\nHow a federal bureaucrat uses astronaut babies and dogs riding pigeons to try to save your life", ">\n\nThis is rad!", ">\n\nCISA losing their shit rn", ">\n\nI would like one.", ">\n\nIt's a free PDF.", ">\n\nNo he would like one of the cats", ">\n\nyOu wOuLdN'T DoWnloAd a cAT", ">\n\nI can’t believe they included Sherlock getting knocked off a cliff. At least he didn’t jump this time.", ">\n\nI'm shocked that you're the only person I've seen comment on this so far! it's hilarious", ">\n\n\"Every year, dozens of cats attack important infrastructure for our country causing dozens of dollars of damage. Won't you help?\"", ">\n\nI heard this with Sarah McLoughlin's voice", ">\n\nArmy Cats", ">\n\nNow do it with pictures of our crumbling infrastructure.", ">\n\nThis seems like one of those things that is somehow going to age poorly given our Universe's current sense of irony. I don't know how exactly, but there's going to be some mass tragedy involving cats and a suspension bridge or something this year.", ">\n\nThe first image kind of reads like \"this infrastructure is super important so don't damage it\". The calendar almost seems like a shopping list for domestic terrorists or something lol.", ">\n\nI mean, pretty obvious that dams, substations, bridges and the like are good targets for chaos. Google maps gives you all this plus Police stations and everything, with photos and the address. Useless to worry about it", ">\n\nSeriously, anyone who unironicly think terrorists were waiting for a cat calendar to list a bunch of locations to bomb is paranoid about the wrong things.", ">\n\nCats would hunt and eat us if they were bigger than us", ">\n\nThey already do, they are called Tigers.", ">\n\nIf there were smaller tigers, we would keep them as pets, but they'd break all our stuff to prove they're still in charge.", ">\n\nThey already do, they are called Cats.", ">\n\nOH MY GOD!", ">\n\nMy tabby is a cute little tiger", ">\n\nI knew we had infrastructure challenges, but I didn't realize we were facing an infrastructure cat-astrophe!", ">\n\nTake my r/angryupvote", ">\n\nI love how shitty the photoshop is. Really ties it all together", ">\n\nYeah I like the idea--but the pictures chosen and color grading are all off. I'd like this idea better executed more professionally.", ">\n\nOh no I'm serious. The unprofessionalism is the best part. I would absolutely pay money for this", ">\n\nOnly only thing weirder is gonna be their crazy ass plan to save the infrastructure.", ">\n\nIt's the engineer Corp, they can build giant cat carriers.", ">\n\nI guess anything beats the 40 million they spend on viagra to keep the soldiers saluting.", ">\n\nThis is delightful", ">\n\ni was imagining mountain lions breaking in to dumpsters or something, not giant house cats gnawing on substations, not disappointed.", ">\n\nI don’t need a calendar now that our pocket rectangles handle all of that for us, but I really want this calendar.", ">\n\nIt is really convenient to just walk by my schedule versus having to pull it up, scroll, click and expand. I tend to forget about things if I don’t see it in front of me, but that’s just how my brain works. Plus if you’re on the phone trying to schedule something it’s nice to write it out too.", ">\n\nI'm sorry, we're already booked for giant spiders.", ">\n\nI personally kinda love this.", ">\n\nBest use of a miniscule amount of our tax dollars in the entire US $1.7T budget. US Army Corp wins the internet today!", ">\n\nHonestly, the entire army corps of engineers may be one of highest rates of return on public good vs funding", ">\n\nSeriously. They do a shit ton of quality and important public work on a relatively shoe-string budget for engineering. I have a lot of respect for the people that work at the USACOE.", ">\n\nSeptember, now that one is art", ">\n\nHaters will say it's Photoshop.", ">\n\nThey’ve never seen Catzilla.", ">\n\nHero of the Week! Hail yourself!", ">\n\nThere it is!", ">\n\n\nThe Army Corps Of Engineers Has Released a 2023 Calendar Of Giant Cats Attacking <\n\nr/brand new sentence \nAlso, giant cats attacking infrastructure is so 2020. In 2023 it just sounds silly.", ">\n\nSeptember ❤️", ">\n\nOmg. I love this. Especially the text blurbs on the pictures. Very funny and adorable!", ">\n\nSounds like they understand cats are required if you want social media traction", ">\n\nI have never wanted to buy a calendar more than I do now!", ">\n\nOn the one hand, I applaud the idea.\nOn the other hand, the photoshop skills look like they came from the army corps of engineers.", ">\n\nWould you actually want them to look like they were perfectly matched to each environment? I'm pretty sure the comedic effect is all that matters here.\nAnd besides, it was just one engineer that created this on their spare time, rather than an official ACE production.", ">\n\nI was mainly being a bit snarky because the internet. That, and what I said was objectively true.", ">\n\nCan confirm, the Corps of Engineers fuckkkkks", ">\n\nGoddammit I just bought my 2023 calendar too lol", ">\n\nThat’s cute though, not worrisome like a lot of other r/nottheonion posts.", ">\n\nAs ever, the Army Corps of Engineers are the one branch of the US state that can get the important shit done", ">\n\nFrom the comments ITT it's evident that most people are unaware of how important they are to the lives of the majority of productive people in this country (people who live near a coastline or a major body of water). It's not just dams and rivers, it's the actual physical coastline of america that they look after.", ">\n\nYup, it seems double edged- people think oh, they're the army corps and assumes they must be doing only military stuff. But equally if it was civilianised no doubt it'd be a target for cuts. An incredible org, regardless. And whether it's cats or weather or warming or the collapse of neglected infrastructure they're going to get more and more important so it's a damn good thing they exist because in 2023, nobody would invent them...", ">\n\nUSACE is an agency that is funded by the DOD but is vastly ran by civilians. There are very few enlisted or commissioned people in the army corps.", ">\n\nOK this is a thing and this is awesome", ">\n\nOops, I had \"Zombie Redneck Torture Family\" in the betting pool.", ">\n\nGrumble. Never gonna see a merman...", ">\n\nUSACE Portland District is one of the absolute best public sector social media presences out there. Seriously. Check it out.", ">\n\nCats in military pictures is an entire IG channel", ">\n\nGood boot", ">\n\nCommand team must be TDY", ">\n\nThat was even better than the title made me think it would be.", ">\n\nI support my tax dollars going to causes such as this.", ">\n\nFinally tax dollars doing something good", ">\n\nI’m kind of disappointed. From the title, I thought there would be photos of actual big cats attacking infrastructure, not photoshopped domestic cats. Anyone have a photo of a puma going after an electrical substation? Or a tiger gnawing on a water line?", ">\n\nNo. No one has that. Would be very interesting though to compile a calendar like that. Peace brother.", ">\n\nGreat, now I need a color printer.\nSeriously, thank you u/radioman8414!", ">\n\nThis is how I want my tax money spent. Downloaded and put up in my office!", ">\n\nThe regional social media guy who put this together is constantly hilarious", ">\n\nGreatest calendar of 2023.", ">\n\nI need one of these for my office! I've worked on some of these dams!", ">\n\nCan I ask you some dam questions?? I’m sure you know a lot of dam information. I’m sure all of us would love some dam stories. Thank you.", ">\n\nSure way to have a more interesting calendar than just infrastructure.", ">\n\nI would so adopt one if they existed.", ">\n\nI've heard army corps of engineers are very difficult to house train. May want to consider before adopting one.", ">\n\nTouché.", ">\n\nThat's amazing, thank you for posting it!", ">\n\nIs there anywhere to buy a nice physical copy of the calendar?", ">\n\nThose cats are mind-controlled by taxoplasmosis alien ameobas!", ">\n\nI was thinking this was gonna be mountain lions taking out maintenance huts or something like that. This is so much better", ">\n\nI’m the daughter of a former Portland, Oregon, US Army Corps Engineer, and I can confirm they are a strange crew. It makes me view the dams on the Columbia River fondly?", ">\n\nI love this so much.", ">\n\nDude. Awesome.", ">\n\nI love this! My astronomy teacher once did a talk on space cats. It was hysterical. Out of the blue he showed us pictures of space with cats added in. He felt we needed a fun class for laughs. I want this calendar.", ">\n\nThis would be really cool if they got a decent digital artist. But they didn't, they used photoshop about as well as I can.", ">\n\nI think that adds to the charm", ">\n\nDon't even need to see it, where can I buy it", ">\n\nFrom the link - \"Because the Army Corps is a Government Agency, the calendar is in public domain and totally free to download and print\"", ">\n\nThis is so funny, because it’s my Dad’s old workplace (from 1971 until he retired). My father, however, has zero sense of humor so he’d never work on something like this.", ">\n\nI met a guy from the Army Corps of Engineers when I worked for the EPA. Smartest guy I've ever met and the 2nd most hippe like person I've ever met. I'd like to think he had something to do with this idea.", ">\n\nFinally the massive military budget of the US is put to good use.", ">\n\nThis is awesome. I might have to buy one.", ">\n\nNo need. It's free, though you have to print it yourself if you want a physical copy", ">\n\nThis is so adorable! I approve wholeheartedly.", ">\n\nIt's about time.", ">\n\nSappers lead the way", ">\n\nI have so much love for this.", ">\n\nEhisssayons.", ">\n\nLove it.", ">\n\nUnintended benefits of relaxed Marijuana policies :)", ">\n\nUsace has not relaxed cannabis policies. No federal agency has", ">\n\nThey certainly have relaxed policy, even though federal law hasn't changed. It's legal in my state and the current administration has announced they won't be pursuing user level Marijuana charges at the federal level.\nWake up.", ">\n\nUSACE still falls under the same policies as the rest of the army. They're treated as DA civilians, and subject to periodic biochemical testing and the resultant consequences if they pee hot. The army has, and will not in the foreseeable future, relax any policy regarding marijuana.", ">\n\nAdorable idea; wish they had hired someone better at photoshop", ">\n\nIts a free gag calendar that was probably just put together by someone for fun in their spare time. Considering the state of infrastructure in the US I don't imagine the Corps of Engineers has a lot of extra spending money to throw around", ">\n\nIf they were smart, they would print it for us and sell it. I don't want a crappy calender that I printed on regular paper, I want the real thing and I would be glad to pay for it.", ">\n\nGenius!! This needs to be a trend. Reddit, make it so...", ">\n\nfuck yeah we finally gonna balance the budget", ">\n\nDecember's hilarious. I want this calender.", ">\n\nYou can totally tell that this is not real. The lighting on the cats is so obviously different than the environmental mistake. Pathetic effort infrastructure geeks.", ">\n\nSo they can blame cats for shoddy workmanship and lax maintenance.", ">\n\nDon't capitalize \"Of\" in titles", ">\n\nWish they'd focus on not taking eight years to permit a fucking project, those lazy excuses for engineers.", ">\n\nYou’re crazy dude. These peeps have built some amazing things. Extremely impressive.", ">\n\nThey used to.", ">\n\n😂", ">\n\nThis whole absurd thing is exactly my sense of humour. LOVE it.", ">\n\nOregon! I've seen the one at Detroit Dam. Sneaky bugger. Hangs out with Bigfoot.", ">\n\nI need this", ">\n\nThat's some adorable terrorism right there.", ">\n\nI remember seeing them, on quad bikes, with a lot of equipment, on Myrtle Beach beaches, I always wondered what they were doing...", ">\n\nI love this sequel to Beginning of the End!", ">\n\nIs there a way I can buy a physical version?", ">\n\nThey're Demo-cats!", ">\n\nAny recommendations of the best way to get this printed semi-professionally? I tried checking Costco photo centre but they make you use a template.", ">\n\nOf course it’s Portland.", ">\n\nKind of disappointing I can't actually buy a printed one. My daughter would love this.", ">\n\nA pretty good idea for a poster. Who doesn't like cats being cats?", ">\n\nI really wish I had become a part of the ACOE but my mother didn't want her only son in the military.", ">\n\nUsace has civilian positions you're employed by the army, but you don't go through basic", ">\n\nI hope they pay more than Nidec.", ">\n\nThanks for sharing! Downloaded and got my new Lock Screen wallpaper.", ">\n\nDecember is 🔥" ]

[ "Imagine the work order. \nYour boss comes to you and says, \"Hey, you're in charge of the cats calendar.\"\n\"What calendar?\"\n\"The one with cats attacking infrastructure?\"\n\"What?\"", ">\n\nyou miss ONE day...", ">\n\nHail Vectron!", ">\n\nBy Vectron!", ">\n\nFor those yet to experience the holy might of Vectron's kindly claw", ">\n\nThank you. I had no idea.", ">\n\nYou are most welcome by Vectron", ">\n\nFor the love of all that is Vectron, your speech warms my Vectronic heart.", ">\n\nMay Vectron’s beard shed its benevolence upon us. 🙏🏻🙏🏻", ">\n\nAnd may all of his correspondence to us be sent Vectronically. So it is written, so shall it be done.", ">\n\nI live in Oregon and started to recognize a bunch of the dams, so I was like, “huh, that’s kinda cool.” Then I saw the text at the bottom of the first page. Portland District. Now a cat calendar makes perfect sense.", ">\n\nSame thing happened to me. I think I'm going to head to kinko's and have them print it out for me.", ">\n\nTell them you need to print some important official military documents before you show them what it is", ">\n\nDon’t forget to tell them you need it right meow!", ">\n\nWho will protect our infrastructure from this menace?", ">\n\nAn array of laser pointers.", ">\n\ncut to giant laser pointer satellite", ">\n\nomigod the jewish space lasers were real", ">\n\n*meowish space lasers", ">\n\nHey that's racist", ">\n\nI think it would be cheaper to buy a calendar than use the ink/toner required to print it.", ">\n\nThat's why you print it at work.", ">\n\nhaha true, oh wait I work from home...", ">\n\nIf you print from home for work you can write printer supplies off on your taxes :)", ">\n\nUh yes boss I needed a calendar, so… oh what? Use the company one? Ummm but the US army has a really nice one and I thought I’d be patriotic - what? Oh, yeah I know we’re in Canada, I just…", ">\n\nPortland is pretty much wannabe Vancouver, BC. I say it goes!", ">\n\nExactly what a Canadian would say...", ">\n\nGoodies, goodie goodie, yum yum.", ">\n\nI just scrolled until I found The Goodies reference but was wondering if I was going to find one at all.", ">\n\nIt's way down the list, isn't it? \n/knees hurt.", ">\n\nOw, my back! Get off my lawn!", ">\n\nOne engineer did it in his free time, and released it for use through the corps. \nThis was NOT government funded.", ">\n\nEven if it was government funded, I support this.", ">\n\nEven if it was government funded it would've been like maybe one day of pay at most? Not a ton for the amount of publicity they'll get that might make them even more money.", ">\n\nAssuming they already have the infrastructure pictures I would be surprised if it took more than 4 work hours. Also for chronically underfunded agencies that kind of PR is exactly how you get voters to convince the politicians to increase funds. I look forward to NASA figuring out how to photoshop giant cats playing with the planets like balls of yarn for their calendar", ">\n\n\nI look forward to NASA figuring out how to photoshop giant cats playing with the planets like balls of yarn for their calendar \n\nWell let me introduce you to the most bizarre social media messaging from an official U.S. government agency: The U.S. Consumer Product Safety Commission's Instagram feed. \nAnd before I catch any \"there's no way this is real\" replies, here's the Washington Post covering it: \n\nHow a federal bureaucrat uses astronaut babies and dogs riding pigeons to try to save your life", ">\n\nThis is rad!", ">\n\nCISA losing their shit rn", ">\n\nI would like one.", ">\n\nIt's a free PDF.", ">\n\nNo he would like one of the cats", ">\n\nyOu wOuLdN'T DoWnloAd a cAT", ">\n\nI can’t believe they included Sherlock getting knocked off a cliff. At least he didn’t jump this time.", ">\n\nI'm shocked that you're the only person I've seen comment on this so far! it's hilarious", ">\n\n\"Every year, dozens of cats attack important infrastructure for our country causing dozens of dollars of damage. Won't you help?\"", ">\n\nI heard this with Sarah McLoughlin's voice", ">\n\nArmy Cats", ">\n\nNow do it with pictures of our crumbling infrastructure.", ">\n\nThis seems like one of those things that is somehow going to age poorly given our Universe's current sense of irony. I don't know how exactly, but there's going to be some mass tragedy involving cats and a suspension bridge or something this year.", ">\n\nThe first image kind of reads like \"this infrastructure is super important so don't damage it\". The calendar almost seems like a shopping list for domestic terrorists or something lol.", ">\n\nI mean, pretty obvious that dams, substations, bridges and the like are good targets for chaos. Google maps gives you all this plus Police stations and everything, with photos and the address. Useless to worry about it", ">\n\nSeriously, anyone who unironicly think terrorists were waiting for a cat calendar to list a bunch of locations to bomb is paranoid about the wrong things.", ">\n\nCats would hunt and eat us if they were bigger than us", ">\n\nThey already do, they are called Tigers.", ">\n\nIf there were smaller tigers, we would keep them as pets, but they'd break all our stuff to prove they're still in charge.", ">\n\nThey already do, they are called Cats.", ">\n\nOH MY GOD!", ">\n\nMy tabby is a cute little tiger", ">\n\nI knew we had infrastructure challenges, but I didn't realize we were facing an infrastructure cat-astrophe!", ">\n\nTake my r/angryupvote", ">\n\nI love how shitty the photoshop is. Really ties it all together", ">\n\nYeah I like the idea--but the pictures chosen and color grading are all off. I'd like this idea better executed more professionally.", ">\n\nOh no I'm serious. The unprofessionalism is the best part. I would absolutely pay money for this", ">\n\nOnly only thing weirder is gonna be their crazy ass plan to save the infrastructure.", ">\n\nIt's the engineer Corp, they can build giant cat carriers.", ">\n\nI guess anything beats the 40 million they spend on viagra to keep the soldiers saluting.", ">\n\nThis is delightful", ">\n\ni was imagining mountain lions breaking in to dumpsters or something, not giant house cats gnawing on substations, not disappointed.", ">\n\nI don’t need a calendar now that our pocket rectangles handle all of that for us, but I really want this calendar.", ">\n\nIt is really convenient to just walk by my schedule versus having to pull it up, scroll, click and expand. I tend to forget about things if I don’t see it in front of me, but that’s just how my brain works. Plus if you’re on the phone trying to schedule something it’s nice to write it out too.", ">\n\nI'm sorry, we're already booked for giant spiders.", ">\n\nI personally kinda love this.", ">\n\nBest use of a miniscule amount of our tax dollars in the entire US $1.7T budget. US Army Corp wins the internet today!", ">\n\nHonestly, the entire army corps of engineers may be one of highest rates of return on public good vs funding", ">\n\nSeriously. They do a shit ton of quality and important public work on a relatively shoe-string budget for engineering. I have a lot of respect for the people that work at the USACOE.", ">\n\nSeptember, now that one is art", ">\n\nHaters will say it's Photoshop.", ">\n\nThey’ve never seen Catzilla.", ">\n\nHero of the Week! Hail yourself!", ">\n\nThere it is!", ">\n\n\nThe Army Corps Of Engineers Has Released a 2023 Calendar Of Giant Cats Attacking <\n\nr/brand new sentence \nAlso, giant cats attacking infrastructure is so 2020. In 2023 it just sounds silly.", ">\n\nSeptember ❤️", ">\n\nOmg. I love this. Especially the text blurbs on the pictures. Very funny and adorable!", ">\n\nSounds like they understand cats are required if you want social media traction", ">\n\nI have never wanted to buy a calendar more than I do now!", ">\n\nOn the one hand, I applaud the idea.\nOn the other hand, the photoshop skills look like they came from the army corps of engineers.", ">\n\nWould you actually want them to look like they were perfectly matched to each environment? I'm pretty sure the comedic effect is all that matters here.\nAnd besides, it was just one engineer that created this on their spare time, rather than an official ACE production.", ">\n\nI was mainly being a bit snarky because the internet. That, and what I said was objectively true.", ">\n\nCan confirm, the Corps of Engineers fuckkkkks", ">\n\nGoddammit I just bought my 2023 calendar too lol", ">\n\nThat’s cute though, not worrisome like a lot of other r/nottheonion posts.", ">\n\nAs ever, the Army Corps of Engineers are the one branch of the US state that can get the important shit done", ">\n\nFrom the comments ITT it's evident that most people are unaware of how important they are to the lives of the majority of productive people in this country (people who live near a coastline or a major body of water). It's not just dams and rivers, it's the actual physical coastline of america that they look after.", ">\n\nYup, it seems double edged- people think oh, they're the army corps and assumes they must be doing only military stuff. But equally if it was civilianised no doubt it'd be a target for cuts. An incredible org, regardless. And whether it's cats or weather or warming or the collapse of neglected infrastructure they're going to get more and more important so it's a damn good thing they exist because in 2023, nobody would invent them...", ">\n\nUSACE is an agency that is funded by the DOD but is vastly ran by civilians. There are very few enlisted or commissioned people in the army corps.", ">\n\nOK this is a thing and this is awesome", ">\n\nOops, I had \"Zombie Redneck Torture Family\" in the betting pool.", ">\n\nGrumble. Never gonna see a merman...", ">\n\nUSACE Portland District is one of the absolute best public sector social media presences out there. Seriously. Check it out.", ">\n\nCats in military pictures is an entire IG channel", ">\n\nGood boot", ">\n\nCommand team must be TDY", ">\n\nThat was even better than the title made me think it would be.", ">\n\nI support my tax dollars going to causes such as this.", ">\n\nFinally tax dollars doing something good", ">\n\nI’m kind of disappointed. From the title, I thought there would be photos of actual big cats attacking infrastructure, not photoshopped domestic cats. Anyone have a photo of a puma going after an electrical substation? Or a tiger gnawing on a water line?", ">\n\nNo. No one has that. Would be very interesting though to compile a calendar like that. Peace brother.", ">\n\nGreat, now I need a color printer.\nSeriously, thank you u/radioman8414!", ">\n\nThis is how I want my tax money spent. Downloaded and put up in my office!", ">\n\nThe regional social media guy who put this together is constantly hilarious", ">\n\nGreatest calendar of 2023.", ">\n\nI need one of these for my office! I've worked on some of these dams!", ">\n\nCan I ask you some dam questions?? I’m sure you know a lot of dam information. I’m sure all of us would love some dam stories. Thank you.", ">\n\nSure way to have a more interesting calendar than just infrastructure.", ">\n\nI would so adopt one if they existed.", ">\n\nI've heard army corps of engineers are very difficult to house train. May want to consider before adopting one.", ">\n\nTouché.", ">\n\nThat's amazing, thank you for posting it!", ">\n\nIs there anywhere to buy a nice physical copy of the calendar?", ">\n\nThose cats are mind-controlled by taxoplasmosis alien ameobas!", ">\n\nI was thinking this was gonna be mountain lions taking out maintenance huts or something like that. This is so much better", ">\n\nI’m the daughter of a former Portland, Oregon, US Army Corps Engineer, and I can confirm they are a strange crew. It makes me view the dams on the Columbia River fondly?", ">\n\nI love this so much.", ">\n\nDude. Awesome.", ">\n\nI love this! My astronomy teacher once did a talk on space cats. It was hysterical. Out of the blue he showed us pictures of space with cats added in. He felt we needed a fun class for laughs. I want this calendar.", ">\n\nThis would be really cool if they got a decent digital artist. But they didn't, they used photoshop about as well as I can.", ">\n\nI think that adds to the charm", ">\n\nDon't even need to see it, where can I buy it", ">\n\nFrom the link - \"Because the Army Corps is a Government Agency, the calendar is in public domain and totally free to download and print\"", ">\n\nThis is so funny, because it’s my Dad’s old workplace (from 1971 until he retired). My father, however, has zero sense of humor so he’d never work on something like this.", ">\n\nI met a guy from the Army Corps of Engineers when I worked for the EPA. Smartest guy I've ever met and the 2nd most hippe like person I've ever met. I'd like to think he had something to do with this idea.", ">\n\nFinally the massive military budget of the US is put to good use.", ">\n\nThis is awesome. I might have to buy one.", ">\n\nNo need. It's free, though you have to print it yourself if you want a physical copy", ">\n\nThis is so adorable! I approve wholeheartedly.", ">\n\nIt's about time.", ">\n\nSappers lead the way", ">\n\nI have so much love for this.", ">\n\nEhisssayons.", ">\n\nLove it.", ">\n\nUnintended benefits of relaxed Marijuana policies :)", ">\n\nUsace has not relaxed cannabis policies. No federal agency has", ">\n\nThey certainly have relaxed policy, even though federal law hasn't changed. It's legal in my state and the current administration has announced they won't be pursuing user level Marijuana charges at the federal level.\nWake up.", ">\n\nUSACE still falls under the same policies as the rest of the army. They're treated as DA civilians, and subject to periodic biochemical testing and the resultant consequences if they pee hot. The army has, and will not in the foreseeable future, relax any policy regarding marijuana.", ">\n\nAdorable idea; wish they had hired someone better at photoshop", ">\n\nIts a free gag calendar that was probably just put together by someone for fun in their spare time. Considering the state of infrastructure in the US I don't imagine the Corps of Engineers has a lot of extra spending money to throw around", ">\n\nIf they were smart, they would print it for us and sell it. I don't want a crappy calender that I printed on regular paper, I want the real thing and I would be glad to pay for it.", ">\n\nGenius!! This needs to be a trend. Reddit, make it so...", ">\n\nfuck yeah we finally gonna balance the budget", ">\n\nDecember's hilarious. I want this calender.", ">\n\nYou can totally tell that this is not real. The lighting on the cats is so obviously different than the environmental mistake. Pathetic effort infrastructure geeks.", ">\n\nSo they can blame cats for shoddy workmanship and lax maintenance.", ">\n\nDon't capitalize \"Of\" in titles", ">\n\nWish they'd focus on not taking eight years to permit a fucking project, those lazy excuses for engineers.", ">\n\nYou’re crazy dude. These peeps have built some amazing things. Extremely impressive.", ">\n\nThey used to.", ">\n\n😂", ">\n\nThis whole absurd thing is exactly my sense of humour. LOVE it.", ">\n\nOregon! I've seen the one at Detroit Dam. Sneaky bugger. Hangs out with Bigfoot.", ">\n\nI need this", ">\n\nThat's some adorable terrorism right there.", ">\n\nI remember seeing them, on quad bikes, with a lot of equipment, on Myrtle Beach beaches, I always wondered what they were doing...", ">\n\nI love this sequel to Beginning of the End!", ">\n\nIs there a way I can buy a physical version?", ">\n\nThey're Demo-cats!", ">\n\nAny recommendations of the best way to get this printed semi-professionally? I tried checking Costco photo centre but they make you use a template.", ">\n\nOf course it’s Portland.", ">\n\nKind of disappointing I can't actually buy a printed one. My daughter would love this.", ">\n\nA pretty good idea for a poster. Who doesn't like cats being cats?", ">\n\nI really wish I had become a part of the ACOE but my mother didn't want her only son in the military.", ">\n\nUsace has civilian positions you're employed by the army, but you don't go through basic", ">\n\nI hope they pay more than Nidec.", ">\n\nThanks for sharing! Downloaded and got my new Lock Screen wallpaper.", ">\n\nDecember is 🔥", ">\n\nObligatory Cat Dynamics" ]

[ "Imagine the work order. \nYour boss comes to you and says, \"Hey, you're in charge of the cats calendar.\"\n\"What calendar?\"\n\"The one with cats attacking infrastructure?\"\n\"What?\"", ">\n\nyou miss ONE day...", ">\n\nHail Vectron!", ">\n\nBy Vectron!", ">\n\nFor those yet to experience the holy might of Vectron's kindly claw", ">\n\nThank you. I had no idea.", ">\n\nYou are most welcome by Vectron", ">\n\nFor the love of all that is Vectron, your speech warms my Vectronic heart.", ">\n\nMay Vectron’s beard shed its benevolence upon us. 🙏🏻🙏🏻", ">\n\nAnd may all of his correspondence to us be sent Vectronically. So it is written, so shall it be done.", ">\n\nI live in Oregon and started to recognize a bunch of the dams, so I was like, “huh, that’s kinda cool.” Then I saw the text at the bottom of the first page. Portland District. Now a cat calendar makes perfect sense.", ">\n\nSame thing happened to me. I think I'm going to head to kinko's and have them print it out for me.", ">\n\nTell them you need to print some important official military documents before you show them what it is", ">\n\nDon’t forget to tell them you need it right meow!", ">\n\nWho will protect our infrastructure from this menace?", ">\n\nAn array of laser pointers.", ">\n\ncut to giant laser pointer satellite", ">\n\nomigod the jewish space lasers were real", ">\n\n*meowish space lasers", ">\n\nHey that's racist", ">\n\nI think it would be cheaper to buy a calendar than use the ink/toner required to print it.", ">\n\nThat's why you print it at work.", ">\n\nhaha true, oh wait I work from home...", ">\n\nIf you print from home for work you can write printer supplies off on your taxes :)", ">\n\nUh yes boss I needed a calendar, so… oh what? Use the company one? Ummm but the US army has a really nice one and I thought I’d be patriotic - what? Oh, yeah I know we’re in Canada, I just…", ">\n\nPortland is pretty much wannabe Vancouver, BC. I say it goes!", ">\n\nExactly what a Canadian would say...", ">\n\nGoodies, goodie goodie, yum yum.", ">\n\nI just scrolled until I found The Goodies reference but was wondering if I was going to find one at all.", ">\n\nIt's way down the list, isn't it? \n/knees hurt.", ">\n\nOw, my back! Get off my lawn!", ">\n\nOne engineer did it in his free time, and released it for use through the corps. \nThis was NOT government funded.", ">\n\nEven if it was government funded, I support this.", ">\n\nEven if it was government funded it would've been like maybe one day of pay at most? Not a ton for the amount of publicity they'll get that might make them even more money.", ">\n\nAssuming they already have the infrastructure pictures I would be surprised if it took more than 4 work hours. Also for chronically underfunded agencies that kind of PR is exactly how you get voters to convince the politicians to increase funds. I look forward to NASA figuring out how to photoshop giant cats playing with the planets like balls of yarn for their calendar", ">\n\n\nI look forward to NASA figuring out how to photoshop giant cats playing with the planets like balls of yarn for their calendar \n\nWell let me introduce you to the most bizarre social media messaging from an official U.S. government agency: The U.S. Consumer Product Safety Commission's Instagram feed. \nAnd before I catch any \"there's no way this is real\" replies, here's the Washington Post covering it: \n\nHow a federal bureaucrat uses astronaut babies and dogs riding pigeons to try to save your life", ">\n\nThis is rad!", ">\n\nCISA losing their shit rn", ">\n\nI would like one.", ">\n\nIt's a free PDF.", ">\n\nNo he would like one of the cats", ">\n\nyOu wOuLdN'T DoWnloAd a cAT", ">\n\nI can’t believe they included Sherlock getting knocked off a cliff. At least he didn’t jump this time.", ">\n\nI'm shocked that you're the only person I've seen comment on this so far! it's hilarious", ">\n\n\"Every year, dozens of cats attack important infrastructure for our country causing dozens of dollars of damage. Won't you help?\"", ">\n\nI heard this with Sarah McLoughlin's voice", ">\n\nArmy Cats", ">\n\nNow do it with pictures of our crumbling infrastructure.", ">\n\nThis seems like one of those things that is somehow going to age poorly given our Universe's current sense of irony. I don't know how exactly, but there's going to be some mass tragedy involving cats and a suspension bridge or something this year.", ">\n\nThe first image kind of reads like \"this infrastructure is super important so don't damage it\". The calendar almost seems like a shopping list for domestic terrorists or something lol.", ">\n\nI mean, pretty obvious that dams, substations, bridges and the like are good targets for chaos. Google maps gives you all this plus Police stations and everything, with photos and the address. Useless to worry about it", ">\n\nSeriously, anyone who unironicly think terrorists were waiting for a cat calendar to list a bunch of locations to bomb is paranoid about the wrong things.", ">\n\nCats would hunt and eat us if they were bigger than us", ">\n\nThey already do, they are called Tigers.", ">\n\nIf there were smaller tigers, we would keep them as pets, but they'd break all our stuff to prove they're still in charge.", ">\n\nThey already do, they are called Cats.", ">\n\nOH MY GOD!", ">\n\nMy tabby is a cute little tiger", ">\n\nI knew we had infrastructure challenges, but I didn't realize we were facing an infrastructure cat-astrophe!", ">\n\nTake my r/angryupvote", ">\n\nI love how shitty the photoshop is. Really ties it all together", ">\n\nYeah I like the idea--but the pictures chosen and color grading are all off. I'd like this idea better executed more professionally.", ">\n\nOh no I'm serious. The unprofessionalism is the best part. I would absolutely pay money for this", ">\n\nOnly only thing weirder is gonna be their crazy ass plan to save the infrastructure.", ">\n\nIt's the engineer Corp, they can build giant cat carriers.", ">\n\nI guess anything beats the 40 million they spend on viagra to keep the soldiers saluting.", ">\n\nThis is delightful", ">\n\ni was imagining mountain lions breaking in to dumpsters or something, not giant house cats gnawing on substations, not disappointed.", ">\n\nI don’t need a calendar now that our pocket rectangles handle all of that for us, but I really want this calendar.", ">\n\nIt is really convenient to just walk by my schedule versus having to pull it up, scroll, click and expand. I tend to forget about things if I don’t see it in front of me, but that’s just how my brain works. Plus if you’re on the phone trying to schedule something it’s nice to write it out too.", ">\n\nI'm sorry, we're already booked for giant spiders.", ">\n\nI personally kinda love this.", ">\n\nBest use of a miniscule amount of our tax dollars in the entire US $1.7T budget. US Army Corp wins the internet today!", ">\n\nHonestly, the entire army corps of engineers may be one of highest rates of return on public good vs funding", ">\n\nSeriously. They do a shit ton of quality and important public work on a relatively shoe-string budget for engineering. I have a lot of respect for the people that work at the USACOE.", ">\n\nSeptember, now that one is art", ">\n\nHaters will say it's Photoshop.", ">\n\nThey’ve never seen Catzilla.", ">\n\nHero of the Week! Hail yourself!", ">\n\nThere it is!", ">\n\n\nThe Army Corps Of Engineers Has Released a 2023 Calendar Of Giant Cats Attacking <\n\nr/brand new sentence \nAlso, giant cats attacking infrastructure is so 2020. In 2023 it just sounds silly.", ">\n\nSeptember ❤️", ">\n\nOmg. I love this. Especially the text blurbs on the pictures. Very funny and adorable!", ">\n\nSounds like they understand cats are required if you want social media traction", ">\n\nI have never wanted to buy a calendar more than I do now!", ">\n\nOn the one hand, I applaud the idea.\nOn the other hand, the photoshop skills look like they came from the army corps of engineers.", ">\n\nWould you actually want them to look like they were perfectly matched to each environment? I'm pretty sure the comedic effect is all that matters here.\nAnd besides, it was just one engineer that created this on their spare time, rather than an official ACE production.", ">\n\nI was mainly being a bit snarky because the internet. That, and what I said was objectively true.", ">\n\nCan confirm, the Corps of Engineers fuckkkkks", ">\n\nGoddammit I just bought my 2023 calendar too lol", ">\n\nThat’s cute though, not worrisome like a lot of other r/nottheonion posts.", ">\n\nAs ever, the Army Corps of Engineers are the one branch of the US state that can get the important shit done", ">\n\nFrom the comments ITT it's evident that most people are unaware of how important they are to the lives of the majority of productive people in this country (people who live near a coastline or a major body of water). It's not just dams and rivers, it's the actual physical coastline of america that they look after.", ">\n\nYup, it seems double edged- people think oh, they're the army corps and assumes they must be doing only military stuff. But equally if it was civilianised no doubt it'd be a target for cuts. An incredible org, regardless. And whether it's cats or weather or warming or the collapse of neglected infrastructure they're going to get more and more important so it's a damn good thing they exist because in 2023, nobody would invent them...", ">\n\nUSACE is an agency that is funded by the DOD but is vastly ran by civilians. There are very few enlisted or commissioned people in the army corps.", ">\n\nOK this is a thing and this is awesome", ">\n\nOops, I had \"Zombie Redneck Torture Family\" in the betting pool.", ">\n\nGrumble. Never gonna see a merman...", ">\n\nUSACE Portland District is one of the absolute best public sector social media presences out there. Seriously. Check it out.", ">\n\nCats in military pictures is an entire IG channel", ">\n\nGood boot", ">\n\nCommand team must be TDY", ">\n\nThat was even better than the title made me think it would be.", ">\n\nI support my tax dollars going to causes such as this.", ">\n\nFinally tax dollars doing something good", ">\n\nI’m kind of disappointed. From the title, I thought there would be photos of actual big cats attacking infrastructure, not photoshopped domestic cats. Anyone have a photo of a puma going after an electrical substation? Or a tiger gnawing on a water line?", ">\n\nNo. No one has that. Would be very interesting though to compile a calendar like that. Peace brother.", ">\n\nGreat, now I need a color printer.\nSeriously, thank you u/radioman8414!", ">\n\nThis is how I want my tax money spent. Downloaded and put up in my office!", ">\n\nThe regional social media guy who put this together is constantly hilarious", ">\n\nGreatest calendar of 2023.", ">\n\nI need one of these for my office! I've worked on some of these dams!", ">\n\nCan I ask you some dam questions?? I’m sure you know a lot of dam information. I’m sure all of us would love some dam stories. Thank you.", ">\n\nSure way to have a more interesting calendar than just infrastructure.", ">\n\nI would so adopt one if they existed.", ">\n\nI've heard army corps of engineers are very difficult to house train. May want to consider before adopting one.", ">\n\nTouché.", ">\n\nThat's amazing, thank you for posting it!", ">\n\nIs there anywhere to buy a nice physical copy of the calendar?", ">\n\nThose cats are mind-controlled by taxoplasmosis alien ameobas!", ">\n\nI was thinking this was gonna be mountain lions taking out maintenance huts or something like that. This is so much better", ">\n\nI’m the daughter of a former Portland, Oregon, US Army Corps Engineer, and I can confirm they are a strange crew. It makes me view the dams on the Columbia River fondly?", ">\n\nI love this so much.", ">\n\nDude. Awesome.", ">\n\nI love this! My astronomy teacher once did a talk on space cats. It was hysterical. Out of the blue he showed us pictures of space with cats added in. He felt we needed a fun class for laughs. I want this calendar.", ">\n\nThis would be really cool if they got a decent digital artist. But they didn't, they used photoshop about as well as I can.", ">\n\nI think that adds to the charm", ">\n\nDon't even need to see it, where can I buy it", ">\n\nFrom the link - \"Because the Army Corps is a Government Agency, the calendar is in public domain and totally free to download and print\"", ">\n\nThis is so funny, because it’s my Dad’s old workplace (from 1971 until he retired). My father, however, has zero sense of humor so he’d never work on something like this.", ">\n\nI met a guy from the Army Corps of Engineers when I worked for the EPA. Smartest guy I've ever met and the 2nd most hippe like person I've ever met. I'd like to think he had something to do with this idea.", ">\n\nFinally the massive military budget of the US is put to good use.", ">\n\nThis is awesome. I might have to buy one.", ">\n\nNo need. It's free, though you have to print it yourself if you want a physical copy", ">\n\nThis is so adorable! I approve wholeheartedly.", ">\n\nIt's about time.", ">\n\nSappers lead the way", ">\n\nI have so much love for this.", ">\n\nEhisssayons.", ">\n\nLove it.", ">\n\nUnintended benefits of relaxed Marijuana policies :)", ">\n\nUsace has not relaxed cannabis policies. No federal agency has", ">\n\nThey certainly have relaxed policy, even though federal law hasn't changed. It's legal in my state and the current administration has announced they won't be pursuing user level Marijuana charges at the federal level.\nWake up.", ">\n\nUSACE still falls under the same policies as the rest of the army. They're treated as DA civilians, and subject to periodic biochemical testing and the resultant consequences if they pee hot. The army has, and will not in the foreseeable future, relax any policy regarding marijuana.", ">\n\nAdorable idea; wish they had hired someone better at photoshop", ">\n\nIts a free gag calendar that was probably just put together by someone for fun in their spare time. Considering the state of infrastructure in the US I don't imagine the Corps of Engineers has a lot of extra spending money to throw around", ">\n\nIf they were smart, they would print it for us and sell it. I don't want a crappy calender that I printed on regular paper, I want the real thing and I would be glad to pay for it.", ">\n\nGenius!! This needs to be a trend. Reddit, make it so...", ">\n\nfuck yeah we finally gonna balance the budget", ">\n\nDecember's hilarious. I want this calender.", ">\n\nYou can totally tell that this is not real. The lighting on the cats is so obviously different than the environmental mistake. Pathetic effort infrastructure geeks.", ">\n\nSo they can blame cats for shoddy workmanship and lax maintenance.", ">\n\nDon't capitalize \"Of\" in titles", ">\n\nWish they'd focus on not taking eight years to permit a fucking project, those lazy excuses for engineers.", ">\n\nYou’re crazy dude. These peeps have built some amazing things. Extremely impressive.", ">\n\nThey used to.", ">\n\n😂", ">\n\nThis whole absurd thing is exactly my sense of humour. LOVE it.", ">\n\nOregon! I've seen the one at Detroit Dam. Sneaky bugger. Hangs out with Bigfoot.", ">\n\nI need this", ">\n\nThat's some adorable terrorism right there.", ">\n\nI remember seeing them, on quad bikes, with a lot of equipment, on Myrtle Beach beaches, I always wondered what they were doing...", ">\n\nI love this sequel to Beginning of the End!", ">\n\nIs there a way I can buy a physical version?", ">\n\nThey're Demo-cats!", ">\n\nAny recommendations of the best way to get this printed semi-professionally? I tried checking Costco photo centre but they make you use a template.", ">\n\nOf course it’s Portland.", ">\n\nKind of disappointing I can't actually buy a printed one. My daughter would love this.", ">\n\nA pretty good idea for a poster. Who doesn't like cats being cats?", ">\n\nI really wish I had become a part of the ACOE but my mother didn't want her only son in the military.", ">\n\nUsace has civilian positions you're employed by the army, but you don't go through basic", ">\n\nI hope they pay more than Nidec.", ">\n\nThanks for sharing! Downloaded and got my new Lock Screen wallpaper.", ">\n\nDecember is 🔥", ">\n\nObligatory Cat Dynamics", ">\n\nPoliticians will say this is the proof of the REAL reason of why our infrastructure is deteriorating, then vote in a measure to hire their friends and family to counter this threat." ]

[ "Imagine the work order. \nYour boss comes to you and says, \"Hey, you're in charge of the cats calendar.\"\n\"What calendar?\"\n\"The one with cats attacking infrastructure?\"\n\"What?\"", ">\n\nyou miss ONE day...", ">\n\nHail Vectron!", ">\n\nBy Vectron!", ">\n\nFor those yet to experience the holy might of Vectron's kindly claw", ">\n\nThank you. I had no idea.", ">\n\nYou are most welcome by Vectron", ">\n\nFor the love of all that is Vectron, your speech warms my Vectronic heart.", ">\n\nMay Vectron’s beard shed its benevolence upon us. 🙏🏻🙏🏻", ">\n\nAnd may all of his correspondence to us be sent Vectronically. So it is written, so shall it be done.", ">\n\nI live in Oregon and started to recognize a bunch of the dams, so I was like, “huh, that’s kinda cool.” Then I saw the text at the bottom of the first page. Portland District. Now a cat calendar makes perfect sense.", ">\n\nSame thing happened to me. I think I'm going to head to kinko's and have them print it out for me.", ">\n\nTell them you need to print some important official military documents before you show them what it is", ">\n\nDon’t forget to tell them you need it right meow!", ">\n\nWho will protect our infrastructure from this menace?", ">\n\nAn array of laser pointers.", ">\n\ncut to giant laser pointer satellite", ">\n\nomigod the jewish space lasers were real", ">\n\n*meowish space lasers", ">\n\nHey that's racist", ">\n\nI think it would be cheaper to buy a calendar than use the ink/toner required to print it.", ">\n\nThat's why you print it at work.", ">\n\nhaha true, oh wait I work from home...", ">\n\nIf you print from home for work you can write printer supplies off on your taxes :)", ">\n\nUh yes boss I needed a calendar, so… oh what? Use the company one? Ummm but the US army has a really nice one and I thought I’d be patriotic - what? Oh, yeah I know we’re in Canada, I just…", ">\n\nPortland is pretty much wannabe Vancouver, BC. I say it goes!", ">\n\nExactly what a Canadian would say...", ">\n\nGoodies, goodie goodie, yum yum.", ">\n\nI just scrolled until I found The Goodies reference but was wondering if I was going to find one at all.", ">\n\nIt's way down the list, isn't it? \n/knees hurt.", ">\n\nOw, my back! Get off my lawn!", ">\n\nOne engineer did it in his free time, and released it for use through the corps. \nThis was NOT government funded.", ">\n\nEven if it was government funded, I support this.", ">\n\nEven if it was government funded it would've been like maybe one day of pay at most? Not a ton for the amount of publicity they'll get that might make them even more money.", ">\n\nAssuming they already have the infrastructure pictures I would be surprised if it took more than 4 work hours. Also for chronically underfunded agencies that kind of PR is exactly how you get voters to convince the politicians to increase funds. I look forward to NASA figuring out how to photoshop giant cats playing with the planets like balls of yarn for their calendar", ">\n\n\nI look forward to NASA figuring out how to photoshop giant cats playing with the planets like balls of yarn for their calendar \n\nWell let me introduce you to the most bizarre social media messaging from an official U.S. government agency: The U.S. Consumer Product Safety Commission's Instagram feed. \nAnd before I catch any \"there's no way this is real\" replies, here's the Washington Post covering it: \n\nHow a federal bureaucrat uses astronaut babies and dogs riding pigeons to try to save your life", ">\n\nThis is rad!", ">\n\nCISA losing their shit rn", ">\n\nI would like one.", ">\n\nIt's a free PDF.", ">\n\nNo he would like one of the cats", ">\n\nyOu wOuLdN'T DoWnloAd a cAT", ">\n\nI can’t believe they included Sherlock getting knocked off a cliff. At least he didn’t jump this time.", ">\n\nI'm shocked that you're the only person I've seen comment on this so far! it's hilarious", ">\n\n\"Every year, dozens of cats attack important infrastructure for our country causing dozens of dollars of damage. Won't you help?\"", ">\n\nI heard this with Sarah McLoughlin's voice", ">\n\nArmy Cats", ">\n\nNow do it with pictures of our crumbling infrastructure.", ">\n\nThis seems like one of those things that is somehow going to age poorly given our Universe's current sense of irony. I don't know how exactly, but there's going to be some mass tragedy involving cats and a suspension bridge or something this year.", ">\n\nThe first image kind of reads like \"this infrastructure is super important so don't damage it\". The calendar almost seems like a shopping list for domestic terrorists or something lol.", ">\n\nI mean, pretty obvious that dams, substations, bridges and the like are good targets for chaos. Google maps gives you all this plus Police stations and everything, with photos and the address. Useless to worry about it", ">\n\nSeriously, anyone who unironicly think terrorists were waiting for a cat calendar to list a bunch of locations to bomb is paranoid about the wrong things.", ">\n\nCats would hunt and eat us if they were bigger than us", ">\n\nThey already do, they are called Tigers.", ">\n\nIf there were smaller tigers, we would keep them as pets, but they'd break all our stuff to prove they're still in charge.", ">\n\nThey already do, they are called Cats.", ">\n\nOH MY GOD!", ">\n\nMy tabby is a cute little tiger", ">\n\nI knew we had infrastructure challenges, but I didn't realize we were facing an infrastructure cat-astrophe!", ">\n\nTake my r/angryupvote", ">\n\nI love how shitty the photoshop is. Really ties it all together", ">\n\nYeah I like the idea--but the pictures chosen and color grading are all off. I'd like this idea better executed more professionally.", ">\n\nOh no I'm serious. The unprofessionalism is the best part. I would absolutely pay money for this", ">\n\nOnly only thing weirder is gonna be their crazy ass plan to save the infrastructure.", ">\n\nIt's the engineer Corp, they can build giant cat carriers.", ">\n\nI guess anything beats the 40 million they spend on viagra to keep the soldiers saluting.", ">\n\nThis is delightful", ">\n\ni was imagining mountain lions breaking in to dumpsters or something, not giant house cats gnawing on substations, not disappointed.", ">\n\nI don’t need a calendar now that our pocket rectangles handle all of that for us, but I really want this calendar.", ">\n\nIt is really convenient to just walk by my schedule versus having to pull it up, scroll, click and expand. I tend to forget about things if I don’t see it in front of me, but that’s just how my brain works. Plus if you’re on the phone trying to schedule something it’s nice to write it out too.", ">\n\nI'm sorry, we're already booked for giant spiders.", ">\n\nI personally kinda love this.", ">\n\nBest use of a miniscule amount of our tax dollars in the entire US $1.7T budget. US Army Corp wins the internet today!", ">\n\nHonestly, the entire army corps of engineers may be one of highest rates of return on public good vs funding", ">\n\nSeriously. They do a shit ton of quality and important public work on a relatively shoe-string budget for engineering. I have a lot of respect for the people that work at the USACOE.", ">\n\nSeptember, now that one is art", ">\n\nHaters will say it's Photoshop.", ">\n\nThey’ve never seen Catzilla.", ">\n\nHero of the Week! Hail yourself!", ">\n\nThere it is!", ">\n\n\nThe Army Corps Of Engineers Has Released a 2023 Calendar Of Giant Cats Attacking <\n\nr/brand new sentence \nAlso, giant cats attacking infrastructure is so 2020. In 2023 it just sounds silly.", ">\n\nSeptember ❤️", ">\n\nOmg. I love this. Especially the text blurbs on the pictures. Very funny and adorable!", ">\n\nSounds like they understand cats are required if you want social media traction", ">\n\nI have never wanted to buy a calendar more than I do now!", ">\n\nOn the one hand, I applaud the idea.\nOn the other hand, the photoshop skills look like they came from the army corps of engineers.", ">\n\nWould you actually want them to look like they were perfectly matched to each environment? I'm pretty sure the comedic effect is all that matters here.\nAnd besides, it was just one engineer that created this on their spare time, rather than an official ACE production.", ">\n\nI was mainly being a bit snarky because the internet. That, and what I said was objectively true.", ">\n\nCan confirm, the Corps of Engineers fuckkkkks", ">\n\nGoddammit I just bought my 2023 calendar too lol", ">\n\nThat’s cute though, not worrisome like a lot of other r/nottheonion posts.", ">\n\nAs ever, the Army Corps of Engineers are the one branch of the US state that can get the important shit done", ">\n\nFrom the comments ITT it's evident that most people are unaware of how important they are to the lives of the majority of productive people in this country (people who live near a coastline or a major body of water). It's not just dams and rivers, it's the actual physical coastline of america that they look after.", ">\n\nYup, it seems double edged- people think oh, they're the army corps and assumes they must be doing only military stuff. But equally if it was civilianised no doubt it'd be a target for cuts. An incredible org, regardless. And whether it's cats or weather or warming or the collapse of neglected infrastructure they're going to get more and more important so it's a damn good thing they exist because in 2023, nobody would invent them...", ">\n\nUSACE is an agency that is funded by the DOD but is vastly ran by civilians. There are very few enlisted or commissioned people in the army corps.", ">\n\nOK this is a thing and this is awesome", ">\n\nOops, I had \"Zombie Redneck Torture Family\" in the betting pool.", ">\n\nGrumble. Never gonna see a merman...", ">\n\nUSACE Portland District is one of the absolute best public sector social media presences out there. Seriously. Check it out.", ">\n\nCats in military pictures is an entire IG channel", ">\n\nGood boot", ">\n\nCommand team must be TDY", ">\n\nThat was even better than the title made me think it would be.", ">\n\nI support my tax dollars going to causes such as this.", ">\n\nFinally tax dollars doing something good", ">\n\nI’m kind of disappointed. From the title, I thought there would be photos of actual big cats attacking infrastructure, not photoshopped domestic cats. Anyone have a photo of a puma going after an electrical substation? Or a tiger gnawing on a water line?", ">\n\nNo. No one has that. Would be very interesting though to compile a calendar like that. Peace brother.", ">\n\nGreat, now I need a color printer.\nSeriously, thank you u/radioman8414!", ">\n\nThis is how I want my tax money spent. Downloaded and put up in my office!", ">\n\nThe regional social media guy who put this together is constantly hilarious", ">\n\nGreatest calendar of 2023.", ">\n\nI need one of these for my office! I've worked on some of these dams!", ">\n\nCan I ask you some dam questions?? I’m sure you know a lot of dam information. I’m sure all of us would love some dam stories. Thank you.", ">\n\nSure way to have a more interesting calendar than just infrastructure.", ">\n\nI would so adopt one if they existed.", ">\n\nI've heard army corps of engineers are very difficult to house train. May want to consider before adopting one.", ">\n\nTouché.", ">\n\nThat's amazing, thank you for posting it!", ">\n\nIs there anywhere to buy a nice physical copy of the calendar?", ">\n\nThose cats are mind-controlled by taxoplasmosis alien ameobas!", ">\n\nI was thinking this was gonna be mountain lions taking out maintenance huts or something like that. This is so much better", ">\n\nI’m the daughter of a former Portland, Oregon, US Army Corps Engineer, and I can confirm they are a strange crew. It makes me view the dams on the Columbia River fondly?", ">\n\nI love this so much.", ">\n\nDude. Awesome.", ">\n\nI love this! My astronomy teacher once did a talk on space cats. It was hysterical. Out of the blue he showed us pictures of space with cats added in. He felt we needed a fun class for laughs. I want this calendar.", ">\n\nThis would be really cool if they got a decent digital artist. But they didn't, they used photoshop about as well as I can.", ">\n\nI think that adds to the charm", ">\n\nDon't even need to see it, where can I buy it", ">\n\nFrom the link - \"Because the Army Corps is a Government Agency, the calendar is in public domain and totally free to download and print\"", ">\n\nThis is so funny, because it’s my Dad’s old workplace (from 1971 until he retired). My father, however, has zero sense of humor so he’d never work on something like this.", ">\n\nI met a guy from the Army Corps of Engineers when I worked for the EPA. Smartest guy I've ever met and the 2nd most hippe like person I've ever met. I'd like to think he had something to do with this idea.", ">\n\nFinally the massive military budget of the US is put to good use.", ">\n\nThis is awesome. I might have to buy one.", ">\n\nNo need. It's free, though you have to print it yourself if you want a physical copy", ">\n\nThis is so adorable! I approve wholeheartedly.", ">\n\nIt's about time.", ">\n\nSappers lead the way", ">\n\nI have so much love for this.", ">\n\nEhisssayons.", ">\n\nLove it.", ">\n\nUnintended benefits of relaxed Marijuana policies :)", ">\n\nUsace has not relaxed cannabis policies. No federal agency has", ">\n\nThey certainly have relaxed policy, even though federal law hasn't changed. It's legal in my state and the current administration has announced they won't be pursuing user level Marijuana charges at the federal level.\nWake up.", ">\n\nUSACE still falls under the same policies as the rest of the army. They're treated as DA civilians, and subject to periodic biochemical testing and the resultant consequences if they pee hot. The army has, and will not in the foreseeable future, relax any policy regarding marijuana.", ">\n\nAdorable idea; wish they had hired someone better at photoshop", ">\n\nIts a free gag calendar that was probably just put together by someone for fun in their spare time. Considering the state of infrastructure in the US I don't imagine the Corps of Engineers has a lot of extra spending money to throw around", ">\n\nIf they were smart, they would print it for us and sell it. I don't want a crappy calender that I printed on regular paper, I want the real thing and I would be glad to pay for it.", ">\n\nGenius!! This needs to be a trend. Reddit, make it so...", ">\n\nfuck yeah we finally gonna balance the budget", ">\n\nDecember's hilarious. I want this calender.", ">\n\nYou can totally tell that this is not real. The lighting on the cats is so obviously different than the environmental mistake. Pathetic effort infrastructure geeks.", ">\n\nSo they can blame cats for shoddy workmanship and lax maintenance.", ">\n\nDon't capitalize \"Of\" in titles", ">\n\nWish they'd focus on not taking eight years to permit a fucking project, those lazy excuses for engineers.", ">\n\nYou’re crazy dude. These peeps have built some amazing things. Extremely impressive.", ">\n\nThey used to.", ">\n\n😂", ">\n\nThis whole absurd thing is exactly my sense of humour. LOVE it.", ">\n\nOregon! I've seen the one at Detroit Dam. Sneaky bugger. Hangs out with Bigfoot.", ">\n\nI need this", ">\n\nThat's some adorable terrorism right there.", ">\n\nI remember seeing them, on quad bikes, with a lot of equipment, on Myrtle Beach beaches, I always wondered what they were doing...", ">\n\nI love this sequel to Beginning of the End!", ">\n\nIs there a way I can buy a physical version?", ">\n\nThey're Demo-cats!", ">\n\nAny recommendations of the best way to get this printed semi-professionally? I tried checking Costco photo centre but they make you use a template.", ">\n\nOf course it’s Portland.", ">\n\nKind of disappointing I can't actually buy a printed one. My daughter would love this.", ">\n\nA pretty good idea for a poster. Who doesn't like cats being cats?", ">\n\nI really wish I had become a part of the ACOE but my mother didn't want her only son in the military.", ">\n\nUsace has civilian positions you're employed by the army, but you don't go through basic", ">\n\nI hope they pay more than Nidec.", ">\n\nThanks for sharing! Downloaded and got my new Lock Screen wallpaper.", ">\n\nDecember is 🔥", ">\n\nObligatory Cat Dynamics", ">\n\nPoliticians will say this is the proof of the REAL reason of why our infrastructure is deteriorating, then vote in a measure to hire their friends and family to counter this threat.", ">\n\nI didnt know cats were domestic terrorists like Republicans. lol" ]

[ "Imagine the work order. \nYour boss comes to you and says, \"Hey, you're in charge of the cats calendar.\"\n\"What calendar?\"\n\"The one with cats attacking infrastructure?\"\n\"What?\"", ">\n\nyou miss ONE day...", ">\n\nHail Vectron!", ">\n\nBy Vectron!", ">\n\nFor those yet to experience the holy might of Vectron's kindly claw", ">\n\nThank you. I had no idea.", ">\n\nYou are most welcome by Vectron", ">\n\nFor the love of all that is Vectron, your speech warms my Vectronic heart.", ">\n\nMay Vectron’s beard shed its benevolence upon us. 🙏🏻🙏🏻", ">\n\nAnd may all of his correspondence to us be sent Vectronically. So it is written, so shall it be done.", ">\n\nI live in Oregon and started to recognize a bunch of the dams, so I was like, “huh, that’s kinda cool.” Then I saw the text at the bottom of the first page. Portland District. Now a cat calendar makes perfect sense.", ">\n\nSame thing happened to me. I think I'm going to head to kinko's and have them print it out for me.", ">\n\nTell them you need to print some important official military documents before you show them what it is", ">\n\nDon’t forget to tell them you need it right meow!", ">\n\nWho will protect our infrastructure from this menace?", ">\n\nAn array of laser pointers.", ">\n\ncut to giant laser pointer satellite", ">\n\nomigod the jewish space lasers were real", ">\n\n*meowish space lasers", ">\n\nHey that's racist", ">\n\nI think it would be cheaper to buy a calendar than use the ink/toner required to print it.", ">\n\nThat's why you print it at work.", ">\n\nhaha true, oh wait I work from home...", ">\n\nIf you print from home for work you can write printer supplies off on your taxes :)", ">\n\nUh yes boss I needed a calendar, so… oh what? Use the company one? Ummm but the US army has a really nice one and I thought I’d be patriotic - what? Oh, yeah I know we’re in Canada, I just…", ">\n\nPortland is pretty much wannabe Vancouver, BC. I say it goes!", ">\n\nExactly what a Canadian would say...", ">\n\nGoodies, goodie goodie, yum yum.", ">\n\nI just scrolled until I found The Goodies reference but was wondering if I was going to find one at all.", ">\n\nIt's way down the list, isn't it? \n/knees hurt.", ">\n\nOw, my back! Get off my lawn!", ">\n\nOne engineer did it in his free time, and released it for use through the corps. \nThis was NOT government funded.", ">\n\nEven if it was government funded, I support this.", ">\n\nEven if it was government funded it would've been like maybe one day of pay at most? Not a ton for the amount of publicity they'll get that might make them even more money.", ">\n\nAssuming they already have the infrastructure pictures I would be surprised if it took more than 4 work hours. Also for chronically underfunded agencies that kind of PR is exactly how you get voters to convince the politicians to increase funds. I look forward to NASA figuring out how to photoshop giant cats playing with the planets like balls of yarn for their calendar", ">\n\n\nI look forward to NASA figuring out how to photoshop giant cats playing with the planets like balls of yarn for their calendar \n\nWell let me introduce you to the most bizarre social media messaging from an official U.S. government agency: The U.S. Consumer Product Safety Commission's Instagram feed. \nAnd before I catch any \"there's no way this is real\" replies, here's the Washington Post covering it: \n\nHow a federal bureaucrat uses astronaut babies and dogs riding pigeons to try to save your life", ">\n\nThis is rad!", ">\n\nCISA losing their shit rn", ">\n\nI would like one.", ">\n\nIt's a free PDF.", ">\n\nNo he would like one of the cats", ">\n\nyOu wOuLdN'T DoWnloAd a cAT", ">\n\nI can’t believe they included Sherlock getting knocked off a cliff. At least he didn’t jump this time.", ">\n\nI'm shocked that you're the only person I've seen comment on this so far! it's hilarious", ">\n\n\"Every year, dozens of cats attack important infrastructure for our country causing dozens of dollars of damage. Won't you help?\"", ">\n\nI heard this with Sarah McLoughlin's voice", ">\n\nArmy Cats", ">\n\nNow do it with pictures of our crumbling infrastructure.", ">\n\nThis seems like one of those things that is somehow going to age poorly given our Universe's current sense of irony. I don't know how exactly, but there's going to be some mass tragedy involving cats and a suspension bridge or something this year.", ">\n\nThe first image kind of reads like \"this infrastructure is super important so don't damage it\". The calendar almost seems like a shopping list for domestic terrorists or something lol.", ">\n\nI mean, pretty obvious that dams, substations, bridges and the like are good targets for chaos. Google maps gives you all this plus Police stations and everything, with photos and the address. Useless to worry about it", ">\n\nSeriously, anyone who unironicly think terrorists were waiting for a cat calendar to list a bunch of locations to bomb is paranoid about the wrong things.", ">\n\nCats would hunt and eat us if they were bigger than us", ">\n\nThey already do, they are called Tigers.", ">\n\nIf there were smaller tigers, we would keep them as pets, but they'd break all our stuff to prove they're still in charge.", ">\n\nThey already do, they are called Cats.", ">\n\nOH MY GOD!", ">\n\nMy tabby is a cute little tiger", ">\n\nI knew we had infrastructure challenges, but I didn't realize we were facing an infrastructure cat-astrophe!", ">\n\nTake my r/angryupvote", ">\n\nI love how shitty the photoshop is. Really ties it all together", ">\n\nYeah I like the idea--but the pictures chosen and color grading are all off. I'd like this idea better executed more professionally.", ">\n\nOh no I'm serious. The unprofessionalism is the best part. I would absolutely pay money for this", ">\n\nOnly only thing weirder is gonna be their crazy ass plan to save the infrastructure.", ">\n\nIt's the engineer Corp, they can build giant cat carriers.", ">\n\nI guess anything beats the 40 million they spend on viagra to keep the soldiers saluting.", ">\n\nThis is delightful", ">\n\ni was imagining mountain lions breaking in to dumpsters or something, not giant house cats gnawing on substations, not disappointed.", ">\n\nI don’t need a calendar now that our pocket rectangles handle all of that for us, but I really want this calendar.", ">\n\nIt is really convenient to just walk by my schedule versus having to pull it up, scroll, click and expand. I tend to forget about things if I don’t see it in front of me, but that’s just how my brain works. Plus if you’re on the phone trying to schedule something it’s nice to write it out too.", ">\n\nI'm sorry, we're already booked for giant spiders.", ">\n\nI personally kinda love this.", ">\n\nBest use of a miniscule amount of our tax dollars in the entire US $1.7T budget. US Army Corp wins the internet today!", ">\n\nHonestly, the entire army corps of engineers may be one of highest rates of return on public good vs funding", ">\n\nSeriously. They do a shit ton of quality and important public work on a relatively shoe-string budget for engineering. I have a lot of respect for the people that work at the USACOE.", ">\n\nSeptember, now that one is art", ">\n\nHaters will say it's Photoshop.", ">\n\nThey’ve never seen Catzilla.", ">\n\nHero of the Week! Hail yourself!", ">\n\nThere it is!", ">\n\n\nThe Army Corps Of Engineers Has Released a 2023 Calendar Of Giant Cats Attacking <\n\nr/brand new sentence \nAlso, giant cats attacking infrastructure is so 2020. In 2023 it just sounds silly.", ">\n\nSeptember ❤️", ">\n\nOmg. I love this. Especially the text blurbs on the pictures. Very funny and adorable!", ">\n\nSounds like they understand cats are required if you want social media traction", ">\n\nI have never wanted to buy a calendar more than I do now!", ">\n\nOn the one hand, I applaud the idea.\nOn the other hand, the photoshop skills look like they came from the army corps of engineers.", ">\n\nWould you actually want them to look like they were perfectly matched to each environment? I'm pretty sure the comedic effect is all that matters here.\nAnd besides, it was just one engineer that created this on their spare time, rather than an official ACE production.", ">\n\nI was mainly being a bit snarky because the internet. That, and what I said was objectively true.", ">\n\nCan confirm, the Corps of Engineers fuckkkkks", ">\n\nGoddammit I just bought my 2023 calendar too lol", ">\n\nThat’s cute though, not worrisome like a lot of other r/nottheonion posts.", ">\n\nAs ever, the Army Corps of Engineers are the one branch of the US state that can get the important shit done", ">\n\nFrom the comments ITT it's evident that most people are unaware of how important they are to the lives of the majority of productive people in this country (people who live near a coastline or a major body of water). It's not just dams and rivers, it's the actual physical coastline of america that they look after.", ">\n\nYup, it seems double edged- people think oh, they're the army corps and assumes they must be doing only military stuff. But equally if it was civilianised no doubt it'd be a target for cuts. An incredible org, regardless. And whether it's cats or weather or warming or the collapse of neglected infrastructure they're going to get more and more important so it's a damn good thing they exist because in 2023, nobody would invent them...", ">\n\nUSACE is an agency that is funded by the DOD but is vastly ran by civilians. There are very few enlisted or commissioned people in the army corps.", ">\n\nOK this is a thing and this is awesome", ">\n\nOops, I had \"Zombie Redneck Torture Family\" in the betting pool.", ">\n\nGrumble. Never gonna see a merman...", ">\n\nUSACE Portland District is one of the absolute best public sector social media presences out there. Seriously. Check it out.", ">\n\nCats in military pictures is an entire IG channel", ">\n\nGood boot", ">\n\nCommand team must be TDY", ">\n\nThat was even better than the title made me think it would be.", ">\n\nI support my tax dollars going to causes such as this.", ">\n\nFinally tax dollars doing something good", ">\n\nI’m kind of disappointed. From the title, I thought there would be photos of actual big cats attacking infrastructure, not photoshopped domestic cats. Anyone have a photo of a puma going after an electrical substation? Or a tiger gnawing on a water line?", ">\n\nNo. No one has that. Would be very interesting though to compile a calendar like that. Peace brother.", ">\n\nGreat, now I need a color printer.\nSeriously, thank you u/radioman8414!", ">\n\nThis is how I want my tax money spent. Downloaded and put up in my office!", ">\n\nThe regional social media guy who put this together is constantly hilarious", ">\n\nGreatest calendar of 2023.", ">\n\nI need one of these for my office! I've worked on some of these dams!", ">\n\nCan I ask you some dam questions?? I’m sure you know a lot of dam information. I’m sure all of us would love some dam stories. Thank you.", ">\n\nSure way to have a more interesting calendar than just infrastructure.", ">\n\nI would so adopt one if they existed.", ">\n\nI've heard army corps of engineers are very difficult to house train. May want to consider before adopting one.", ">\n\nTouché.", ">\n\nThat's amazing, thank you for posting it!", ">\n\nIs there anywhere to buy a nice physical copy of the calendar?", ">\n\nThose cats are mind-controlled by taxoplasmosis alien ameobas!", ">\n\nI was thinking this was gonna be mountain lions taking out maintenance huts or something like that. This is so much better", ">\n\nI’m the daughter of a former Portland, Oregon, US Army Corps Engineer, and I can confirm they are a strange crew. It makes me view the dams on the Columbia River fondly?", ">\n\nI love this so much.", ">\n\nDude. Awesome.", ">\n\nI love this! My astronomy teacher once did a talk on space cats. It was hysterical. Out of the blue he showed us pictures of space with cats added in. He felt we needed a fun class for laughs. I want this calendar.", ">\n\nThis would be really cool if they got a decent digital artist. But they didn't, they used photoshop about as well as I can.", ">\n\nI think that adds to the charm", ">\n\nDon't even need to see it, where can I buy it", ">\n\nFrom the link - \"Because the Army Corps is a Government Agency, the calendar is in public domain and totally free to download and print\"", ">\n\nThis is so funny, because it’s my Dad’s old workplace (from 1971 until he retired). My father, however, has zero sense of humor so he’d never work on something like this.", ">\n\nI met a guy from the Army Corps of Engineers when I worked for the EPA. Smartest guy I've ever met and the 2nd most hippe like person I've ever met. I'd like to think he had something to do with this idea.", ">\n\nFinally the massive military budget of the US is put to good use.", ">\n\nThis is awesome. I might have to buy one.", ">\n\nNo need. It's free, though you have to print it yourself if you want a physical copy", ">\n\nThis is so adorable! I approve wholeheartedly.", ">\n\nIt's about time.", ">\n\nSappers lead the way", ">\n\nI have so much love for this.", ">\n\nEhisssayons.", ">\n\nLove it.", ">\n\nUnintended benefits of relaxed Marijuana policies :)", ">\n\nUsace has not relaxed cannabis policies. No federal agency has", ">\n\nThey certainly have relaxed policy, even though federal law hasn't changed. It's legal in my state and the current administration has announced they won't be pursuing user level Marijuana charges at the federal level.\nWake up.", ">\n\nUSACE still falls under the same policies as the rest of the army. They're treated as DA civilians, and subject to periodic biochemical testing and the resultant consequences if they pee hot. The army has, and will not in the foreseeable future, relax any policy regarding marijuana.", ">\n\nAdorable idea; wish they had hired someone better at photoshop", ">\n\nIts a free gag calendar that was probably just put together by someone for fun in their spare time. Considering the state of infrastructure in the US I don't imagine the Corps of Engineers has a lot of extra spending money to throw around", ">\n\nIf they were smart, they would print it for us and sell it. I don't want a crappy calender that I printed on regular paper, I want the real thing and I would be glad to pay for it.", ">\n\nGenius!! This needs to be a trend. Reddit, make it so...", ">\n\nfuck yeah we finally gonna balance the budget", ">\n\nDecember's hilarious. I want this calender.", ">\n\nYou can totally tell that this is not real. The lighting on the cats is so obviously different than the environmental mistake. Pathetic effort infrastructure geeks.", ">\n\nSo they can blame cats for shoddy workmanship and lax maintenance.", ">\n\nDon't capitalize \"Of\" in titles", ">\n\nWish they'd focus on not taking eight years to permit a fucking project, those lazy excuses for engineers.", ">\n\nYou’re crazy dude. These peeps have built some amazing things. Extremely impressive.", ">\n\nThey used to.", ">\n\n😂", ">\n\nThis whole absurd thing is exactly my sense of humour. LOVE it.", ">\n\nOregon! I've seen the one at Detroit Dam. Sneaky bugger. Hangs out with Bigfoot.", ">\n\nI need this", ">\n\nThat's some adorable terrorism right there.", ">\n\nI remember seeing them, on quad bikes, with a lot of equipment, on Myrtle Beach beaches, I always wondered what they were doing...", ">\n\nI love this sequel to Beginning of the End!", ">\n\nIs there a way I can buy a physical version?", ">\n\nThey're Demo-cats!", ">\n\nAny recommendations of the best way to get this printed semi-professionally? I tried checking Costco photo centre but they make you use a template.", ">\n\nOf course it’s Portland.", ">\n\nKind of disappointing I can't actually buy a printed one. My daughter would love this.", ">\n\nA pretty good idea for a poster. Who doesn't like cats being cats?", ">\n\nI really wish I had become a part of the ACOE but my mother didn't want her only son in the military.", ">\n\nUsace has civilian positions you're employed by the army, but you don't go through basic", ">\n\nI hope they pay more than Nidec.", ">\n\nThanks for sharing! Downloaded and got my new Lock Screen wallpaper.", ">\n\nDecember is 🔥", ">\n\nObligatory Cat Dynamics", ">\n\nPoliticians will say this is the proof of the REAL reason of why our infrastructure is deteriorating, then vote in a measure to hire their friends and family to counter this threat.", ">\n\nI didnt know cats were domestic terrorists like Republicans. lol", ">\n\nThis is the only kind of apocalypse I could see myself getting excited about." ]

[ "Imagine the work order. \nYour boss comes to you and says, \"Hey, you're in charge of the cats calendar.\"\n\"What calendar?\"\n\"The one with cats attacking infrastructure?\"\n\"What?\"", ">\n\nyou miss ONE day...", ">\n\nHail Vectron!", ">\n\nBy Vectron!", ">\n\nFor those yet to experience the holy might of Vectron's kindly claw", ">\n\nThank you. I had no idea.", ">\n\nYou are most welcome by Vectron", ">\n\nFor the love of all that is Vectron, your speech warms my Vectronic heart.", ">\n\nMay Vectron’s beard shed its benevolence upon us. 🙏🏻🙏🏻", ">\n\nAnd may all of his correspondence to us be sent Vectronically. So it is written, so shall it be done.", ">\n\nI live in Oregon and started to recognize a bunch of the dams, so I was like, “huh, that’s kinda cool.” Then I saw the text at the bottom of the first page. Portland District. Now a cat calendar makes perfect sense.", ">\n\nSame thing happened to me. I think I'm going to head to kinko's and have them print it out for me.", ">\n\nTell them you need to print some important official military documents before you show them what it is", ">\n\nDon’t forget to tell them you need it right meow!", ">\n\nWho will protect our infrastructure from this menace?", ">\n\nAn array of laser pointers.", ">\n\ncut to giant laser pointer satellite", ">\n\nomigod the jewish space lasers were real", ">\n\n*meowish space lasers", ">\n\nHey that's racist", ">\n\nI think it would be cheaper to buy a calendar than use the ink/toner required to print it.", ">\n\nThat's why you print it at work.", ">\n\nhaha true, oh wait I work from home...", ">\n\nIf you print from home for work you can write printer supplies off on your taxes :)", ">\n\nUh yes boss I needed a calendar, so… oh what? Use the company one? Ummm but the US army has a really nice one and I thought I’d be patriotic - what? Oh, yeah I know we’re in Canada, I just…", ">\n\nPortland is pretty much wannabe Vancouver, BC. I say it goes!", ">\n\nExactly what a Canadian would say...", ">\n\nGoodies, goodie goodie, yum yum.", ">\n\nI just scrolled until I found The Goodies reference but was wondering if I was going to find one at all.", ">\n\nIt's way down the list, isn't it? \n/knees hurt.", ">\n\nOw, my back! Get off my lawn!", ">\n\nOne engineer did it in his free time, and released it for use through the corps. \nThis was NOT government funded.", ">\n\nEven if it was government funded, I support this.", ">\n\nEven if it was government funded it would've been like maybe one day of pay at most? Not a ton for the amount of publicity they'll get that might make them even more money.", ">\n\nAssuming they already have the infrastructure pictures I would be surprised if it took more than 4 work hours. Also for chronically underfunded agencies that kind of PR is exactly how you get voters to convince the politicians to increase funds. I look forward to NASA figuring out how to photoshop giant cats playing with the planets like balls of yarn for their calendar", ">\n\n\nI look forward to NASA figuring out how to photoshop giant cats playing with the planets like balls of yarn for their calendar \n\nWell let me introduce you to the most bizarre social media messaging from an official U.S. government agency: The U.S. Consumer Product Safety Commission's Instagram feed. \nAnd before I catch any \"there's no way this is real\" replies, here's the Washington Post covering it: \n\nHow a federal bureaucrat uses astronaut babies and dogs riding pigeons to try to save your life", ">\n\nThis is rad!", ">\n\nCISA losing their shit rn", ">\n\nI would like one.", ">\n\nIt's a free PDF.", ">\n\nNo he would like one of the cats", ">\n\nyOu wOuLdN'T DoWnloAd a cAT", ">\n\nI can’t believe they included Sherlock getting knocked off a cliff. At least he didn’t jump this time.", ">\n\nI'm shocked that you're the only person I've seen comment on this so far! it's hilarious", ">\n\n\"Every year, dozens of cats attack important infrastructure for our country causing dozens of dollars of damage. Won't you help?\"", ">\n\nI heard this with Sarah McLoughlin's voice", ">\n\nArmy Cats", ">\n\nNow do it with pictures of our crumbling infrastructure.", ">\n\nThis seems like one of those things that is somehow going to age poorly given our Universe's current sense of irony. I don't know how exactly, but there's going to be some mass tragedy involving cats and a suspension bridge or something this year.", ">\n\nThe first image kind of reads like \"this infrastructure is super important so don't damage it\". The calendar almost seems like a shopping list for domestic terrorists or something lol.", ">\n\nI mean, pretty obvious that dams, substations, bridges and the like are good targets for chaos. Google maps gives you all this plus Police stations and everything, with photos and the address. Useless to worry about it", ">\n\nSeriously, anyone who unironicly think terrorists were waiting for a cat calendar to list a bunch of locations to bomb is paranoid about the wrong things.", ">\n\nCats would hunt and eat us if they were bigger than us", ">\n\nThey already do, they are called Tigers.", ">\n\nIf there were smaller tigers, we would keep them as pets, but they'd break all our stuff to prove they're still in charge.", ">\n\nThey already do, they are called Cats.", ">\n\nOH MY GOD!", ">\n\nMy tabby is a cute little tiger", ">\n\nI knew we had infrastructure challenges, but I didn't realize we were facing an infrastructure cat-astrophe!", ">\n\nTake my r/angryupvote", ">\n\nI love how shitty the photoshop is. Really ties it all together", ">\n\nYeah I like the idea--but the pictures chosen and color grading are all off. I'd like this idea better executed more professionally.", ">\n\nOh no I'm serious. The unprofessionalism is the best part. I would absolutely pay money for this", ">\n\nOnly only thing weirder is gonna be their crazy ass plan to save the infrastructure.", ">\n\nIt's the engineer Corp, they can build giant cat carriers.", ">\n\nI guess anything beats the 40 million they spend on viagra to keep the soldiers saluting.", ">\n\nThis is delightful", ">\n\ni was imagining mountain lions breaking in to dumpsters or something, not giant house cats gnawing on substations, not disappointed.", ">\n\nI don’t need a calendar now that our pocket rectangles handle all of that for us, but I really want this calendar.", ">\n\nIt is really convenient to just walk by my schedule versus having to pull it up, scroll, click and expand. I tend to forget about things if I don’t see it in front of me, but that’s just how my brain works. Plus if you’re on the phone trying to schedule something it’s nice to write it out too.", ">\n\nI'm sorry, we're already booked for giant spiders.", ">\n\nI personally kinda love this.", ">\n\nBest use of a miniscule amount of our tax dollars in the entire US $1.7T budget. US Army Corp wins the internet today!", ">\n\nHonestly, the entire army corps of engineers may be one of highest rates of return on public good vs funding", ">\n\nSeriously. They do a shit ton of quality and important public work on a relatively shoe-string budget for engineering. I have a lot of respect for the people that work at the USACOE.", ">\n\nSeptember, now that one is art", ">\n\nHaters will say it's Photoshop.", ">\n\nThey’ve never seen Catzilla.", ">\n\nHero of the Week! Hail yourself!", ">\n\nThere it is!", ">\n\n\nThe Army Corps Of Engineers Has Released a 2023 Calendar Of Giant Cats Attacking <\n\nr/brand new sentence \nAlso, giant cats attacking infrastructure is so 2020. In 2023 it just sounds silly.", ">\n\nSeptember ❤️", ">\n\nOmg. I love this. Especially the text blurbs on the pictures. Very funny and adorable!", ">\n\nSounds like they understand cats are required if you want social media traction", ">\n\nI have never wanted to buy a calendar more than I do now!", ">\n\nOn the one hand, I applaud the idea.\nOn the other hand, the photoshop skills look like they came from the army corps of engineers.", ">\n\nWould you actually want them to look like they were perfectly matched to each environment? I'm pretty sure the comedic effect is all that matters here.\nAnd besides, it was just one engineer that created this on their spare time, rather than an official ACE production.", ">\n\nI was mainly being a bit snarky because the internet. That, and what I said was objectively true.", ">\n\nCan confirm, the Corps of Engineers fuckkkkks", ">\n\nGoddammit I just bought my 2023 calendar too lol", ">\n\nThat’s cute though, not worrisome like a lot of other r/nottheonion posts.", ">\n\nAs ever, the Army Corps of Engineers are the one branch of the US state that can get the important shit done", ">\n\nFrom the comments ITT it's evident that most people are unaware of how important they are to the lives of the majority of productive people in this country (people who live near a coastline or a major body of water). It's not just dams and rivers, it's the actual physical coastline of america that they look after.", ">\n\nYup, it seems double edged- people think oh, they're the army corps and assumes they must be doing only military stuff. But equally if it was civilianised no doubt it'd be a target for cuts. An incredible org, regardless. And whether it's cats or weather or warming or the collapse of neglected infrastructure they're going to get more and more important so it's a damn good thing they exist because in 2023, nobody would invent them...", ">\n\nUSACE is an agency that is funded by the DOD but is vastly ran by civilians. There are very few enlisted or commissioned people in the army corps.", ">\n\nOK this is a thing and this is awesome", ">\n\nOops, I had \"Zombie Redneck Torture Family\" in the betting pool.", ">\n\nGrumble. Never gonna see a merman...", ">\n\nUSACE Portland District is one of the absolute best public sector social media presences out there. Seriously. Check it out.", ">\n\nCats in military pictures is an entire IG channel", ">\n\nGood boot", ">\n\nCommand team must be TDY", ">\n\nThat was even better than the title made me think it would be.", ">\n\nI support my tax dollars going to causes such as this.", ">\n\nFinally tax dollars doing something good", ">\n\nI’m kind of disappointed. From the title, I thought there would be photos of actual big cats attacking infrastructure, not photoshopped domestic cats. Anyone have a photo of a puma going after an electrical substation? Or a tiger gnawing on a water line?", ">\n\nNo. No one has that. Would be very interesting though to compile a calendar like that. Peace brother.", ">\n\nGreat, now I need a color printer.\nSeriously, thank you u/radioman8414!", ">\n\nThis is how I want my tax money spent. Downloaded and put up in my office!", ">\n\nThe regional social media guy who put this together is constantly hilarious", ">\n\nGreatest calendar of 2023.", ">\n\nI need one of these for my office! I've worked on some of these dams!", ">\n\nCan I ask you some dam questions?? I’m sure you know a lot of dam information. I’m sure all of us would love some dam stories. Thank you.", ">\n\nSure way to have a more interesting calendar than just infrastructure.", ">\n\nI would so adopt one if they existed.", ">\n\nI've heard army corps of engineers are very difficult to house train. May want to consider before adopting one.", ">\n\nTouché.", ">\n\nThat's amazing, thank you for posting it!", ">\n\nIs there anywhere to buy a nice physical copy of the calendar?", ">\n\nThose cats are mind-controlled by taxoplasmosis alien ameobas!", ">\n\nI was thinking this was gonna be mountain lions taking out maintenance huts or something like that. This is so much better", ">\n\nI’m the daughter of a former Portland, Oregon, US Army Corps Engineer, and I can confirm they are a strange crew. It makes me view the dams on the Columbia River fondly?", ">\n\nI love this so much.", ">\n\nDude. Awesome.", ">\n\nI love this! My astronomy teacher once did a talk on space cats. It was hysterical. Out of the blue he showed us pictures of space with cats added in. He felt we needed a fun class for laughs. I want this calendar.", ">\n\nThis would be really cool if they got a decent digital artist. But they didn't, they used photoshop about as well as I can.", ">\n\nI think that adds to the charm", ">\n\nDon't even need to see it, where can I buy it", ">\n\nFrom the link - \"Because the Army Corps is a Government Agency, the calendar is in public domain and totally free to download and print\"", ">\n\nThis is so funny, because it’s my Dad’s old workplace (from 1971 until he retired). My father, however, has zero sense of humor so he’d never work on something like this.", ">\n\nI met a guy from the Army Corps of Engineers when I worked for the EPA. Smartest guy I've ever met and the 2nd most hippe like person I've ever met. I'd like to think he had something to do with this idea.", ">\n\nFinally the massive military budget of the US is put to good use.", ">\n\nThis is awesome. I might have to buy one.", ">\n\nNo need. It's free, though you have to print it yourself if you want a physical copy", ">\n\nThis is so adorable! I approve wholeheartedly.", ">\n\nIt's about time.", ">\n\nSappers lead the way", ">\n\nI have so much love for this.", ">\n\nEhisssayons.", ">\n\nLove it.", ">\n\nUnintended benefits of relaxed Marijuana policies :)", ">\n\nUsace has not relaxed cannabis policies. No federal agency has", ">\n\nThey certainly have relaxed policy, even though federal law hasn't changed. It's legal in my state and the current administration has announced they won't be pursuing user level Marijuana charges at the federal level.\nWake up.", ">\n\nUSACE still falls under the same policies as the rest of the army. They're treated as DA civilians, and subject to periodic biochemical testing and the resultant consequences if they pee hot. The army has, and will not in the foreseeable future, relax any policy regarding marijuana.", ">\n\nAdorable idea; wish they had hired someone better at photoshop", ">\n\nIts a free gag calendar that was probably just put together by someone for fun in their spare time. Considering the state of infrastructure in the US I don't imagine the Corps of Engineers has a lot of extra spending money to throw around", ">\n\nIf they were smart, they would print it for us and sell it. I don't want a crappy calender that I printed on regular paper, I want the real thing and I would be glad to pay for it.", ">\n\nGenius!! This needs to be a trend. Reddit, make it so...", ">\n\nfuck yeah we finally gonna balance the budget", ">\n\nDecember's hilarious. I want this calender.", ">\n\nYou can totally tell that this is not real. The lighting on the cats is so obviously different than the environmental mistake. Pathetic effort infrastructure geeks.", ">\n\nSo they can blame cats for shoddy workmanship and lax maintenance.", ">\n\nDon't capitalize \"Of\" in titles", ">\n\nWish they'd focus on not taking eight years to permit a fucking project, those lazy excuses for engineers.", ">\n\nYou’re crazy dude. These peeps have built some amazing things. Extremely impressive.", ">\n\nThey used to.", ">\n\n😂", ">\n\nThis whole absurd thing is exactly my sense of humour. LOVE it.", ">\n\nOregon! I've seen the one at Detroit Dam. Sneaky bugger. Hangs out with Bigfoot.", ">\n\nI need this", ">\n\nThat's some adorable terrorism right there.", ">\n\nI remember seeing them, on quad bikes, with a lot of equipment, on Myrtle Beach beaches, I always wondered what they were doing...", ">\n\nI love this sequel to Beginning of the End!", ">\n\nIs there a way I can buy a physical version?", ">\n\nThey're Demo-cats!", ">\n\nAny recommendations of the best way to get this printed semi-professionally? I tried checking Costco photo centre but they make you use a template.", ">\n\nOf course it’s Portland.", ">\n\nKind of disappointing I can't actually buy a printed one. My daughter would love this.", ">\n\nA pretty good idea for a poster. Who doesn't like cats being cats?", ">\n\nI really wish I had become a part of the ACOE but my mother didn't want her only son in the military.", ">\n\nUsace has civilian positions you're employed by the army, but you don't go through basic", ">\n\nI hope they pay more than Nidec.", ">\n\nThanks for sharing! Downloaded and got my new Lock Screen wallpaper.", ">\n\nDecember is 🔥", ">\n\nObligatory Cat Dynamics", ">\n\nPoliticians will say this is the proof of the REAL reason of why our infrastructure is deteriorating, then vote in a measure to hire their friends and family to counter this threat.", ">\n\nI didnt know cats were domestic terrorists like Republicans. lol", ">\n\nThis is the only kind of apocalypse I could see myself getting excited about.", ">\n\nAugust a missed opportunity to have CAT Excavators." ]

[ "Imagine the work order. \nYour boss comes to you and says, \"Hey, you're in charge of the cats calendar.\"\n\"What calendar?\"\n\"The one with cats attacking infrastructure?\"\n\"What?\"", ">\n\nyou miss ONE day...", ">\n\nHail Vectron!", ">\n\nBy Vectron!", ">\n\nFor those yet to experience the holy might of Vectron's kindly claw", ">\n\nThank you. I had no idea.", ">\n\nYou are most welcome by Vectron", ">\n\nFor the love of all that is Vectron, your speech warms my Vectronic heart.", ">\n\nMay Vectron’s beard shed its benevolence upon us. 🙏🏻🙏🏻", ">\n\nAnd may all of his correspondence to us be sent Vectronically. So it is written, so shall it be done.", ">\n\nI live in Oregon and started to recognize a bunch of the dams, so I was like, “huh, that’s kinda cool.” Then I saw the text at the bottom of the first page. Portland District. Now a cat calendar makes perfect sense.", ">\n\nSame thing happened to me. I think I'm going to head to kinko's and have them print it out for me.", ">\n\nTell them you need to print some important official military documents before you show them what it is", ">\n\nDon’t forget to tell them you need it right meow!", ">\n\nWho will protect our infrastructure from this menace?", ">\n\nAn array of laser pointers.", ">\n\ncut to giant laser pointer satellite", ">\n\nomigod the jewish space lasers were real", ">\n\n*meowish space lasers", ">\n\nHey that's racist", ">\n\nI think it would be cheaper to buy a calendar than use the ink/toner required to print it.", ">\n\nThat's why you print it at work.", ">\n\nhaha true, oh wait I work from home...", ">\n\nIf you print from home for work you can write printer supplies off on your taxes :)", ">\n\nUh yes boss I needed a calendar, so… oh what? Use the company one? Ummm but the US army has a really nice one and I thought I’d be patriotic - what? Oh, yeah I know we’re in Canada, I just…", ">\n\nPortland is pretty much wannabe Vancouver, BC. I say it goes!", ">\n\nExactly what a Canadian would say...", ">\n\nGoodies, goodie goodie, yum yum.", ">\n\nI just scrolled until I found The Goodies reference but was wondering if I was going to find one at all.", ">\n\nIt's way down the list, isn't it? \n/knees hurt.", ">\n\nOw, my back! Get off my lawn!", ">\n\nOne engineer did it in his free time, and released it for use through the corps. \nThis was NOT government funded.", ">\n\nEven if it was government funded, I support this.", ">\n\nEven if it was government funded it would've been like maybe one day of pay at most? Not a ton for the amount of publicity they'll get that might make them even more money.", ">\n\nAssuming they already have the infrastructure pictures I would be surprised if it took more than 4 work hours. Also for chronically underfunded agencies that kind of PR is exactly how you get voters to convince the politicians to increase funds. I look forward to NASA figuring out how to photoshop giant cats playing with the planets like balls of yarn for their calendar", ">\n\n\nI look forward to NASA figuring out how to photoshop giant cats playing with the planets like balls of yarn for their calendar \n\nWell let me introduce you to the most bizarre social media messaging from an official U.S. government agency: The U.S. Consumer Product Safety Commission's Instagram feed. \nAnd before I catch any \"there's no way this is real\" replies, here's the Washington Post covering it: \n\nHow a federal bureaucrat uses astronaut babies and dogs riding pigeons to try to save your life", ">\n\nThis is rad!", ">\n\nCISA losing their shit rn", ">\n\nI would like one.", ">\n\nIt's a free PDF.", ">\n\nNo he would like one of the cats", ">\n\nyOu wOuLdN'T DoWnloAd a cAT", ">\n\nI can’t believe they included Sherlock getting knocked off a cliff. At least he didn’t jump this time.", ">\n\nI'm shocked that you're the only person I've seen comment on this so far! it's hilarious", ">\n\n\"Every year, dozens of cats attack important infrastructure for our country causing dozens of dollars of damage. Won't you help?\"", ">\n\nI heard this with Sarah McLoughlin's voice", ">\n\nArmy Cats", ">\n\nNow do it with pictures of our crumbling infrastructure.", ">\n\nThis seems like one of those things that is somehow going to age poorly given our Universe's current sense of irony. I don't know how exactly, but there's going to be some mass tragedy involving cats and a suspension bridge or something this year.", ">\n\nThe first image kind of reads like \"this infrastructure is super important so don't damage it\". The calendar almost seems like a shopping list for domestic terrorists or something lol.", ">\n\nI mean, pretty obvious that dams, substations, bridges and the like are good targets for chaos. Google maps gives you all this plus Police stations and everything, with photos and the address. Useless to worry about it", ">\n\nSeriously, anyone who unironicly think terrorists were waiting for a cat calendar to list a bunch of locations to bomb is paranoid about the wrong things.", ">\n\nCats would hunt and eat us if they were bigger than us", ">\n\nThey already do, they are called Tigers.", ">\n\nIf there were smaller tigers, we would keep them as pets, but they'd break all our stuff to prove they're still in charge.", ">\n\nThey already do, they are called Cats.", ">\n\nOH MY GOD!", ">\n\nMy tabby is a cute little tiger", ">\n\nI knew we had infrastructure challenges, but I didn't realize we were facing an infrastructure cat-astrophe!", ">\n\nTake my r/angryupvote", ">\n\nI love how shitty the photoshop is. Really ties it all together", ">\n\nYeah I like the idea--but the pictures chosen and color grading are all off. I'd like this idea better executed more professionally.", ">\n\nOh no I'm serious. The unprofessionalism is the best part. I would absolutely pay money for this", ">\n\nOnly only thing weirder is gonna be their crazy ass plan to save the infrastructure.", ">\n\nIt's the engineer Corp, they can build giant cat carriers.", ">\n\nI guess anything beats the 40 million they spend on viagra to keep the soldiers saluting.", ">\n\nThis is delightful", ">\n\ni was imagining mountain lions breaking in to dumpsters or something, not giant house cats gnawing on substations, not disappointed.", ">\n\nI don’t need a calendar now that our pocket rectangles handle all of that for us, but I really want this calendar.", ">\n\nIt is really convenient to just walk by my schedule versus having to pull it up, scroll, click and expand. I tend to forget about things if I don’t see it in front of me, but that’s just how my brain works. Plus if you’re on the phone trying to schedule something it’s nice to write it out too.", ">\n\nI'm sorry, we're already booked for giant spiders.", ">\n\nI personally kinda love this.", ">\n\nBest use of a miniscule amount of our tax dollars in the entire US $1.7T budget. US Army Corp wins the internet today!", ">\n\nHonestly, the entire army corps of engineers may be one of highest rates of return on public good vs funding", ">\n\nSeriously. They do a shit ton of quality and important public work on a relatively shoe-string budget for engineering. I have a lot of respect for the people that work at the USACOE.", ">\n\nSeptember, now that one is art", ">\n\nHaters will say it's Photoshop.", ">\n\nThey’ve never seen Catzilla.", ">\n\nHero of the Week! Hail yourself!", ">\n\nThere it is!", ">\n\n\nThe Army Corps Of Engineers Has Released a 2023 Calendar Of Giant Cats Attacking <\n\nr/brand new sentence \nAlso, giant cats attacking infrastructure is so 2020. In 2023 it just sounds silly.", ">\n\nSeptember ❤️", ">\n\nOmg. I love this. Especially the text blurbs on the pictures. Very funny and adorable!", ">\n\nSounds like they understand cats are required if you want social media traction", ">\n\nI have never wanted to buy a calendar more than I do now!", ">\n\nOn the one hand, I applaud the idea.\nOn the other hand, the photoshop skills look like they came from the army corps of engineers.", ">\n\nWould you actually want them to look like they were perfectly matched to each environment? I'm pretty sure the comedic effect is all that matters here.\nAnd besides, it was just one engineer that created this on their spare time, rather than an official ACE production.", ">\n\nI was mainly being a bit snarky because the internet. That, and what I said was objectively true.", ">\n\nCan confirm, the Corps of Engineers fuckkkkks", ">\n\nGoddammit I just bought my 2023 calendar too lol", ">\n\nThat’s cute though, not worrisome like a lot of other r/nottheonion posts.", ">\n\nAs ever, the Army Corps of Engineers are the one branch of the US state that can get the important shit done", ">\n\nFrom the comments ITT it's evident that most people are unaware of how important they are to the lives of the majority of productive people in this country (people who live near a coastline or a major body of water). It's not just dams and rivers, it's the actual physical coastline of america that they look after.", ">\n\nYup, it seems double edged- people think oh, they're the army corps and assumes they must be doing only military stuff. But equally if it was civilianised no doubt it'd be a target for cuts. An incredible org, regardless. And whether it's cats or weather or warming or the collapse of neglected infrastructure they're going to get more and more important so it's a damn good thing they exist because in 2023, nobody would invent them...", ">\n\nUSACE is an agency that is funded by the DOD but is vastly ran by civilians. There are very few enlisted or commissioned people in the army corps.", ">\n\nOK this is a thing and this is awesome", ">\n\nOops, I had \"Zombie Redneck Torture Family\" in the betting pool.", ">\n\nGrumble. Never gonna see a merman...", ">\n\nUSACE Portland District is one of the absolute best public sector social media presences out there. Seriously. Check it out.", ">\n\nCats in military pictures is an entire IG channel", ">\n\nGood boot", ">\n\nCommand team must be TDY", ">\n\nThat was even better than the title made me think it would be.", ">\n\nI support my tax dollars going to causes such as this.", ">\n\nFinally tax dollars doing something good", ">\n\nI’m kind of disappointed. From the title, I thought there would be photos of actual big cats attacking infrastructure, not photoshopped domestic cats. Anyone have a photo of a puma going after an electrical substation? Or a tiger gnawing on a water line?", ">\n\nNo. No one has that. Would be very interesting though to compile a calendar like that. Peace brother.", ">\n\nGreat, now I need a color printer.\nSeriously, thank you u/radioman8414!", ">\n\nThis is how I want my tax money spent. Downloaded and put up in my office!", ">\n\nThe regional social media guy who put this together is constantly hilarious", ">\n\nGreatest calendar of 2023.", ">\n\nI need one of these for my office! I've worked on some of these dams!", ">\n\nCan I ask you some dam questions?? I’m sure you know a lot of dam information. I’m sure all of us would love some dam stories. Thank you.", ">\n\nSure way to have a more interesting calendar than just infrastructure.", ">\n\nI would so adopt one if they existed.", ">\n\nI've heard army corps of engineers are very difficult to house train. May want to consider before adopting one.", ">\n\nTouché.", ">\n\nThat's amazing, thank you for posting it!", ">\n\nIs there anywhere to buy a nice physical copy of the calendar?", ">\n\nThose cats are mind-controlled by taxoplasmosis alien ameobas!", ">\n\nI was thinking this was gonna be mountain lions taking out maintenance huts or something like that. This is so much better", ">\n\nI’m the daughter of a former Portland, Oregon, US Army Corps Engineer, and I can confirm they are a strange crew. It makes me view the dams on the Columbia River fondly?", ">\n\nI love this so much.", ">\n\nDude. Awesome.", ">\n\nI love this! My astronomy teacher once did a talk on space cats. It was hysterical. Out of the blue he showed us pictures of space with cats added in. He felt we needed a fun class for laughs. I want this calendar.", ">\n\nThis would be really cool if they got a decent digital artist. But they didn't, they used photoshop about as well as I can.", ">\n\nI think that adds to the charm", ">\n\nDon't even need to see it, where can I buy it", ">\n\nFrom the link - \"Because the Army Corps is a Government Agency, the calendar is in public domain and totally free to download and print\"", ">\n\nThis is so funny, because it’s my Dad’s old workplace (from 1971 until he retired). My father, however, has zero sense of humor so he’d never work on something like this.", ">\n\nI met a guy from the Army Corps of Engineers when I worked for the EPA. Smartest guy I've ever met and the 2nd most hippe like person I've ever met. I'd like to think he had something to do with this idea.", ">\n\nFinally the massive military budget of the US is put to good use.", ">\n\nThis is awesome. I might have to buy one.", ">\n\nNo need. It's free, though you have to print it yourself if you want a physical copy", ">\n\nThis is so adorable! I approve wholeheartedly.", ">\n\nIt's about time.", ">\n\nSappers lead the way", ">\n\nI have so much love for this.", ">\n\nEhisssayons.", ">\n\nLove it.", ">\n\nUnintended benefits of relaxed Marijuana policies :)", ">\n\nUsace has not relaxed cannabis policies. No federal agency has", ">\n\nThey certainly have relaxed policy, even though federal law hasn't changed. It's legal in my state and the current administration has announced they won't be pursuing user level Marijuana charges at the federal level.\nWake up.", ">\n\nUSACE still falls under the same policies as the rest of the army. They're treated as DA civilians, and subject to periodic biochemical testing and the resultant consequences if they pee hot. The army has, and will not in the foreseeable future, relax any policy regarding marijuana.", ">\n\nAdorable idea; wish they had hired someone better at photoshop", ">\n\nIts a free gag calendar that was probably just put together by someone for fun in their spare time. Considering the state of infrastructure in the US I don't imagine the Corps of Engineers has a lot of extra spending money to throw around", ">\n\nIf they were smart, they would print it for us and sell it. I don't want a crappy calender that I printed on regular paper, I want the real thing and I would be glad to pay for it.", ">\n\nGenius!! This needs to be a trend. Reddit, make it so...", ">\n\nfuck yeah we finally gonna balance the budget", ">\n\nDecember's hilarious. I want this calender.", ">\n\nYou can totally tell that this is not real. The lighting on the cats is so obviously different than the environmental mistake. Pathetic effort infrastructure geeks.", ">\n\nSo they can blame cats for shoddy workmanship and lax maintenance.", ">\n\nDon't capitalize \"Of\" in titles", ">\n\nWish they'd focus on not taking eight years to permit a fucking project, those lazy excuses for engineers.", ">\n\nYou’re crazy dude. These peeps have built some amazing things. Extremely impressive.", ">\n\nThey used to.", ">\n\n😂", ">\n\nThis whole absurd thing is exactly my sense of humour. LOVE it.", ">\n\nOregon! I've seen the one at Detroit Dam. Sneaky bugger. Hangs out with Bigfoot.", ">\n\nI need this", ">\n\nThat's some adorable terrorism right there.", ">\n\nI remember seeing them, on quad bikes, with a lot of equipment, on Myrtle Beach beaches, I always wondered what they were doing...", ">\n\nI love this sequel to Beginning of the End!", ">\n\nIs there a way I can buy a physical version?", ">\n\nThey're Demo-cats!", ">\n\nAny recommendations of the best way to get this printed semi-professionally? I tried checking Costco photo centre but they make you use a template.", ">\n\nOf course it’s Portland.", ">\n\nKind of disappointing I can't actually buy a printed one. My daughter would love this.", ">\n\nA pretty good idea for a poster. Who doesn't like cats being cats?", ">\n\nI really wish I had become a part of the ACOE but my mother didn't want her only son in the military.", ">\n\nUsace has civilian positions you're employed by the army, but you don't go through basic", ">\n\nI hope they pay more than Nidec.", ">\n\nThanks for sharing! Downloaded and got my new Lock Screen wallpaper.", ">\n\nDecember is 🔥", ">\n\nObligatory Cat Dynamics", ">\n\nPoliticians will say this is the proof of the REAL reason of why our infrastructure is deteriorating, then vote in a measure to hire their friends and family to counter this threat.", ">\n\nI didnt know cats were domestic terrorists like Republicans. lol", ">\n\nThis is the only kind of apocalypse I could see myself getting excited about.", ">\n\nAugust a missed opportunity to have CAT Excavators.", ">\n\nYou have my attention." ]

[ "Imagine the work order. \nYour boss comes to you and says, \"Hey, you're in charge of the cats calendar.\"\n\"What calendar?\"\n\"The one with cats attacking infrastructure?\"\n\"What?\"", ">\n\nyou miss ONE day...", ">\n\nHail Vectron!", ">\n\nBy Vectron!", ">\n\nFor those yet to experience the holy might of Vectron's kindly claw", ">\n\nThank you. I had no idea.", ">\n\nYou are most welcome by Vectron", ">\n\nFor the love of all that is Vectron, your speech warms my Vectronic heart.", ">\n\nMay Vectron’s beard shed its benevolence upon us. 🙏🏻🙏🏻", ">\n\nAnd may all of his correspondence to us be sent Vectronically. So it is written, so shall it be done.", ">\n\nI live in Oregon and started to recognize a bunch of the dams, so I was like, “huh, that’s kinda cool.” Then I saw the text at the bottom of the first page. Portland District. Now a cat calendar makes perfect sense.", ">\n\nSame thing happened to me. I think I'm going to head to kinko's and have them print it out for me.", ">\n\nTell them you need to print some important official military documents before you show them what it is", ">\n\nDon’t forget to tell them you need it right meow!", ">\n\nWho will protect our infrastructure from this menace?", ">\n\nAn array of laser pointers.", ">\n\ncut to giant laser pointer satellite", ">\n\nomigod the jewish space lasers were real", ">\n\n*meowish space lasers", ">\n\nHey that's racist", ">\n\nI think it would be cheaper to buy a calendar than use the ink/toner required to print it.", ">\n\nThat's why you print it at work.", ">\n\nhaha true, oh wait I work from home...", ">\n\nIf you print from home for work you can write printer supplies off on your taxes :)", ">\n\nUh yes boss I needed a calendar, so… oh what? Use the company one? Ummm but the US army has a really nice one and I thought I’d be patriotic - what? Oh, yeah I know we’re in Canada, I just…", ">\n\nPortland is pretty much wannabe Vancouver, BC. I say it goes!", ">\n\nExactly what a Canadian would say...", ">\n\nGoodies, goodie goodie, yum yum.", ">\n\nI just scrolled until I found The Goodies reference but was wondering if I was going to find one at all.", ">\n\nIt's way down the list, isn't it? \n/knees hurt.", ">\n\nOw, my back! Get off my lawn!", ">\n\nOne engineer did it in his free time, and released it for use through the corps. \nThis was NOT government funded.", ">\n\nEven if it was government funded, I support this.", ">\n\nEven if it was government funded it would've been like maybe one day of pay at most? Not a ton for the amount of publicity they'll get that might make them even more money.", ">\n\nAssuming they already have the infrastructure pictures I would be surprised if it took more than 4 work hours. Also for chronically underfunded agencies that kind of PR is exactly how you get voters to convince the politicians to increase funds. I look forward to NASA figuring out how to photoshop giant cats playing with the planets like balls of yarn for their calendar", ">\n\n\nI look forward to NASA figuring out how to photoshop giant cats playing with the planets like balls of yarn for their calendar \n\nWell let me introduce you to the most bizarre social media messaging from an official U.S. government agency: The U.S. Consumer Product Safety Commission's Instagram feed. \nAnd before I catch any \"there's no way this is real\" replies, here's the Washington Post covering it: \n\nHow a federal bureaucrat uses astronaut babies and dogs riding pigeons to try to save your life", ">\n\nThis is rad!", ">\n\nCISA losing their shit rn", ">\n\nI would like one.", ">\n\nIt's a free PDF.", ">\n\nNo he would like one of the cats", ">\n\nyOu wOuLdN'T DoWnloAd a cAT", ">\n\nI can’t believe they included Sherlock getting knocked off a cliff. At least he didn’t jump this time.", ">\n\nI'm shocked that you're the only person I've seen comment on this so far! it's hilarious", ">\n\n\"Every year, dozens of cats attack important infrastructure for our country causing dozens of dollars of damage. Won't you help?\"", ">\n\nI heard this with Sarah McLoughlin's voice", ">\n\nArmy Cats", ">\n\nNow do it with pictures of our crumbling infrastructure.", ">\n\nThis seems like one of those things that is somehow going to age poorly given our Universe's current sense of irony. I don't know how exactly, but there's going to be some mass tragedy involving cats and a suspension bridge or something this year.", ">\n\nThe first image kind of reads like \"this infrastructure is super important so don't damage it\". The calendar almost seems like a shopping list for domestic terrorists or something lol.", ">\n\nI mean, pretty obvious that dams, substations, bridges and the like are good targets for chaos. Google maps gives you all this plus Police stations and everything, with photos and the address. Useless to worry about it", ">\n\nSeriously, anyone who unironicly think terrorists were waiting for a cat calendar to list a bunch of locations to bomb is paranoid about the wrong things.", ">\n\nCats would hunt and eat us if they were bigger than us", ">\n\nThey already do, they are called Tigers.", ">\n\nIf there were smaller tigers, we would keep them as pets, but they'd break all our stuff to prove they're still in charge.", ">\n\nThey already do, they are called Cats.", ">\n\nOH MY GOD!", ">\n\nMy tabby is a cute little tiger", ">\n\nI knew we had infrastructure challenges, but I didn't realize we were facing an infrastructure cat-astrophe!", ">\n\nTake my r/angryupvote", ">\n\nI love how shitty the photoshop is. Really ties it all together", ">\n\nYeah I like the idea--but the pictures chosen and color grading are all off. I'd like this idea better executed more professionally.", ">\n\nOh no I'm serious. The unprofessionalism is the best part. I would absolutely pay money for this", ">\n\nOnly only thing weirder is gonna be their crazy ass plan to save the infrastructure.", ">\n\nIt's the engineer Corp, they can build giant cat carriers.", ">\n\nI guess anything beats the 40 million they spend on viagra to keep the soldiers saluting.", ">\n\nThis is delightful", ">\n\ni was imagining mountain lions breaking in to dumpsters or something, not giant house cats gnawing on substations, not disappointed.", ">\n\nI don’t need a calendar now that our pocket rectangles handle all of that for us, but I really want this calendar.", ">\n\nIt is really convenient to just walk by my schedule versus having to pull it up, scroll, click and expand. I tend to forget about things if I don’t see it in front of me, but that’s just how my brain works. Plus if you’re on the phone trying to schedule something it’s nice to write it out too.", ">\n\nI'm sorry, we're already booked for giant spiders.", ">\n\nI personally kinda love this.", ">\n\nBest use of a miniscule amount of our tax dollars in the entire US $1.7T budget. US Army Corp wins the internet today!", ">\n\nHonestly, the entire army corps of engineers may be one of highest rates of return on public good vs funding", ">\n\nSeriously. They do a shit ton of quality and important public work on a relatively shoe-string budget for engineering. I have a lot of respect for the people that work at the USACOE.", ">\n\nSeptember, now that one is art", ">\n\nHaters will say it's Photoshop.", ">\n\nThey’ve never seen Catzilla.", ">\n\nHero of the Week! Hail yourself!", ">\n\nThere it is!", ">\n\n\nThe Army Corps Of Engineers Has Released a 2023 Calendar Of Giant Cats Attacking <\n\nr/brand new sentence \nAlso, giant cats attacking infrastructure is so 2020. In 2023 it just sounds silly.", ">\n\nSeptember ❤️", ">\n\nOmg. I love this. Especially the text blurbs on the pictures. Very funny and adorable!", ">\n\nSounds like they understand cats are required if you want social media traction", ">\n\nI have never wanted to buy a calendar more than I do now!", ">\n\nOn the one hand, I applaud the idea.\nOn the other hand, the photoshop skills look like they came from the army corps of engineers.", ">\n\nWould you actually want them to look like they were perfectly matched to each environment? I'm pretty sure the comedic effect is all that matters here.\nAnd besides, it was just one engineer that created this on their spare time, rather than an official ACE production.", ">\n\nI was mainly being a bit snarky because the internet. That, and what I said was objectively true.", ">\n\nCan confirm, the Corps of Engineers fuckkkkks", ">\n\nGoddammit I just bought my 2023 calendar too lol", ">\n\nThat’s cute though, not worrisome like a lot of other r/nottheonion posts.", ">\n\nAs ever, the Army Corps of Engineers are the one branch of the US state that can get the important shit done", ">\n\nFrom the comments ITT it's evident that most people are unaware of how important they are to the lives of the majority of productive people in this country (people who live near a coastline or a major body of water). It's not just dams and rivers, it's the actual physical coastline of america that they look after.", ">\n\nYup, it seems double edged- people think oh, they're the army corps and assumes they must be doing only military stuff. But equally if it was civilianised no doubt it'd be a target for cuts. An incredible org, regardless. And whether it's cats or weather or warming or the collapse of neglected infrastructure they're going to get more and more important so it's a damn good thing they exist because in 2023, nobody would invent them...", ">\n\nUSACE is an agency that is funded by the DOD but is vastly ran by civilians. There are very few enlisted or commissioned people in the army corps.", ">\n\nOK this is a thing and this is awesome", ">\n\nOops, I had \"Zombie Redneck Torture Family\" in the betting pool.", ">\n\nGrumble. Never gonna see a merman...", ">\n\nUSACE Portland District is one of the absolute best public sector social media presences out there. Seriously. Check it out.", ">\n\nCats in military pictures is an entire IG channel", ">\n\nGood boot", ">\n\nCommand team must be TDY", ">\n\nThat was even better than the title made me think it would be.", ">\n\nI support my tax dollars going to causes such as this.", ">\n\nFinally tax dollars doing something good", ">\n\nI’m kind of disappointed. From the title, I thought there would be photos of actual big cats attacking infrastructure, not photoshopped domestic cats. Anyone have a photo of a puma going after an electrical substation? Or a tiger gnawing on a water line?", ">\n\nNo. No one has that. Would be very interesting though to compile a calendar like that. Peace brother.", ">\n\nGreat, now I need a color printer.\nSeriously, thank you u/radioman8414!", ">\n\nThis is how I want my tax money spent. Downloaded and put up in my office!", ">\n\nThe regional social media guy who put this together is constantly hilarious", ">\n\nGreatest calendar of 2023.", ">\n\nI need one of these for my office! I've worked on some of these dams!", ">\n\nCan I ask you some dam questions?? I’m sure you know a lot of dam information. I’m sure all of us would love some dam stories. Thank you.", ">\n\nSure way to have a more interesting calendar than just infrastructure.", ">\n\nI would so adopt one if they existed.", ">\n\nI've heard army corps of engineers are very difficult to house train. May want to consider before adopting one.", ">\n\nTouché.", ">\n\nThat's amazing, thank you for posting it!", ">\n\nIs there anywhere to buy a nice physical copy of the calendar?", ">\n\nThose cats are mind-controlled by taxoplasmosis alien ameobas!", ">\n\nI was thinking this was gonna be mountain lions taking out maintenance huts or something like that. This is so much better", ">\n\nI’m the daughter of a former Portland, Oregon, US Army Corps Engineer, and I can confirm they are a strange crew. It makes me view the dams on the Columbia River fondly?", ">\n\nI love this so much.", ">\n\nDude. Awesome.", ">\n\nI love this! My astronomy teacher once did a talk on space cats. It was hysterical. Out of the blue he showed us pictures of space with cats added in. He felt we needed a fun class for laughs. I want this calendar.", ">\n\nThis would be really cool if they got a decent digital artist. But they didn't, they used photoshop about as well as I can.", ">\n\nI think that adds to the charm", ">\n\nDon't even need to see it, where can I buy it", ">\n\nFrom the link - \"Because the Army Corps is a Government Agency, the calendar is in public domain and totally free to download and print\"", ">\n\nThis is so funny, because it’s my Dad’s old workplace (from 1971 until he retired). My father, however, has zero sense of humor so he’d never work on something like this.", ">\n\nI met a guy from the Army Corps of Engineers when I worked for the EPA. Smartest guy I've ever met and the 2nd most hippe like person I've ever met. I'd like to think he had something to do with this idea.", ">\n\nFinally the massive military budget of the US is put to good use.", ">\n\nThis is awesome. I might have to buy one.", ">\n\nNo need. It's free, though you have to print it yourself if you want a physical copy", ">\n\nThis is so adorable! I approve wholeheartedly.", ">\n\nIt's about time.", ">\n\nSappers lead the way", ">\n\nI have so much love for this.", ">\n\nEhisssayons.", ">\n\nLove it.", ">\n\nUnintended benefits of relaxed Marijuana policies :)", ">\n\nUsace has not relaxed cannabis policies. No federal agency has", ">\n\nThey certainly have relaxed policy, even though federal law hasn't changed. It's legal in my state and the current administration has announced they won't be pursuing user level Marijuana charges at the federal level.\nWake up.", ">\n\nUSACE still falls under the same policies as the rest of the army. They're treated as DA civilians, and subject to periodic biochemical testing and the resultant consequences if they pee hot. The army has, and will not in the foreseeable future, relax any policy regarding marijuana.", ">\n\nAdorable idea; wish they had hired someone better at photoshop", ">\n\nIts a free gag calendar that was probably just put together by someone for fun in their spare time. Considering the state of infrastructure in the US I don't imagine the Corps of Engineers has a lot of extra spending money to throw around", ">\n\nIf they were smart, they would print it for us and sell it. I don't want a crappy calender that I printed on regular paper, I want the real thing and I would be glad to pay for it.", ">\n\nGenius!! This needs to be a trend. Reddit, make it so...", ">\n\nfuck yeah we finally gonna balance the budget", ">\n\nDecember's hilarious. I want this calender.", ">\n\nYou can totally tell that this is not real. The lighting on the cats is so obviously different than the environmental mistake. Pathetic effort infrastructure geeks.", ">\n\nSo they can blame cats for shoddy workmanship and lax maintenance.", ">\n\nDon't capitalize \"Of\" in titles", ">\n\nWish they'd focus on not taking eight years to permit a fucking project, those lazy excuses for engineers.", ">\n\nYou’re crazy dude. These peeps have built some amazing things. Extremely impressive.", ">\n\nThey used to.", ">\n\n😂", ">\n\nThis whole absurd thing is exactly my sense of humour. LOVE it.", ">\n\nOregon! I've seen the one at Detroit Dam. Sneaky bugger. Hangs out with Bigfoot.", ">\n\nI need this", ">\n\nThat's some adorable terrorism right there.", ">\n\nI remember seeing them, on quad bikes, with a lot of equipment, on Myrtle Beach beaches, I always wondered what they were doing...", ">\n\nI love this sequel to Beginning of the End!", ">\n\nIs there a way I can buy a physical version?", ">\n\nThey're Demo-cats!", ">\n\nAny recommendations of the best way to get this printed semi-professionally? I tried checking Costco photo centre but they make you use a template.", ">\n\nOf course it’s Portland.", ">\n\nKind of disappointing I can't actually buy a printed one. My daughter would love this.", ">\n\nA pretty good idea for a poster. Who doesn't like cats being cats?", ">\n\nI really wish I had become a part of the ACOE but my mother didn't want her only son in the military.", ">\n\nUsace has civilian positions you're employed by the army, but you don't go through basic", ">\n\nI hope they pay more than Nidec.", ">\n\nThanks for sharing! Downloaded and got my new Lock Screen wallpaper.", ">\n\nDecember is 🔥", ">\n\nObligatory Cat Dynamics", ">\n\nPoliticians will say this is the proof of the REAL reason of why our infrastructure is deteriorating, then vote in a measure to hire their friends and family to counter this threat.", ">\n\nI didnt know cats were domestic terrorists like Republicans. lol", ">\n\nThis is the only kind of apocalypse I could see myself getting excited about.", ">\n\nAugust a missed opportunity to have CAT Excavators.", ">\n\nYou have my attention.", ">\n\nSmart move" ]

[ "Imagine the work order. \nYour boss comes to you and says, \"Hey, you're in charge of the cats calendar.\"\n\"What calendar?\"\n\"The one with cats attacking infrastructure?\"\n\"What?\"", ">\n\nyou miss ONE day...", ">\n\nHail Vectron!", ">\n\nBy Vectron!", ">\n\nFor those yet to experience the holy might of Vectron's kindly claw", ">\n\nThank you. I had no idea.", ">\n\nYou are most welcome by Vectron", ">\n\nFor the love of all that is Vectron, your speech warms my Vectronic heart.", ">\n\nMay Vectron’s beard shed its benevolence upon us. 🙏🏻🙏🏻", ">\n\nAnd may all of his correspondence to us be sent Vectronically. So it is written, so shall it be done.", ">\n\nI live in Oregon and started to recognize a bunch of the dams, so I was like, “huh, that’s kinda cool.” Then I saw the text at the bottom of the first page. Portland District. Now a cat calendar makes perfect sense.", ">\n\nSame thing happened to me. I think I'm going to head to kinko's and have them print it out for me.", ">\n\nTell them you need to print some important official military documents before you show them what it is", ">\n\nDon’t forget to tell them you need it right meow!", ">\n\nWho will protect our infrastructure from this menace?", ">\n\nAn array of laser pointers.", ">\n\ncut to giant laser pointer satellite", ">\n\nomigod the jewish space lasers were real", ">\n\n*meowish space lasers", ">\n\nHey that's racist", ">\n\nI think it would be cheaper to buy a calendar than use the ink/toner required to print it.", ">\n\nThat's why you print it at work.", ">\n\nhaha true, oh wait I work from home...", ">\n\nIf you print from home for work you can write printer supplies off on your taxes :)", ">\n\nUh yes boss I needed a calendar, so… oh what? Use the company one? Ummm but the US army has a really nice one and I thought I’d be patriotic - what? Oh, yeah I know we’re in Canada, I just…", ">\n\nPortland is pretty much wannabe Vancouver, BC. I say it goes!", ">\n\nExactly what a Canadian would say...", ">\n\nGoodies, goodie goodie, yum yum.", ">\n\nI just scrolled until I found The Goodies reference but was wondering if I was going to find one at all.", ">\n\nIt's way down the list, isn't it? \n/knees hurt.", ">\n\nOw, my back! Get off my lawn!", ">\n\nOne engineer did it in his free time, and released it for use through the corps. \nThis was NOT government funded.", ">\n\nEven if it was government funded, I support this.", ">\n\nEven if it was government funded it would've been like maybe one day of pay at most? Not a ton for the amount of publicity they'll get that might make them even more money.", ">\n\nAssuming they already have the infrastructure pictures I would be surprised if it took more than 4 work hours. Also for chronically underfunded agencies that kind of PR is exactly how you get voters to convince the politicians to increase funds. I look forward to NASA figuring out how to photoshop giant cats playing with the planets like balls of yarn for their calendar", ">\n\n\nI look forward to NASA figuring out how to photoshop giant cats playing with the planets like balls of yarn for their calendar \n\nWell let me introduce you to the most bizarre social media messaging from an official U.S. government agency: The U.S. Consumer Product Safety Commission's Instagram feed. \nAnd before I catch any \"there's no way this is real\" replies, here's the Washington Post covering it: \n\nHow a federal bureaucrat uses astronaut babies and dogs riding pigeons to try to save your life", ">\n\nThis is rad!", ">\n\nCISA losing their shit rn", ">\n\nI would like one.", ">\n\nIt's a free PDF.", ">\n\nNo he would like one of the cats", ">\n\nyOu wOuLdN'T DoWnloAd a cAT", ">\n\nI can’t believe they included Sherlock getting knocked off a cliff. At least he didn’t jump this time.", ">\n\nI'm shocked that you're the only person I've seen comment on this so far! it's hilarious", ">\n\n\"Every year, dozens of cats attack important infrastructure for our country causing dozens of dollars of damage. Won't you help?\"", ">\n\nI heard this with Sarah McLoughlin's voice", ">\n\nArmy Cats", ">\n\nNow do it with pictures of our crumbling infrastructure.", ">\n\nThis seems like one of those things that is somehow going to age poorly given our Universe's current sense of irony. I don't know how exactly, but there's going to be some mass tragedy involving cats and a suspension bridge or something this year.", ">\n\nThe first image kind of reads like \"this infrastructure is super important so don't damage it\". The calendar almost seems like a shopping list for domestic terrorists or something lol.", ">\n\nI mean, pretty obvious that dams, substations, bridges and the like are good targets for chaos. Google maps gives you all this plus Police stations and everything, with photos and the address. Useless to worry about it", ">\n\nSeriously, anyone who unironicly think terrorists were waiting for a cat calendar to list a bunch of locations to bomb is paranoid about the wrong things.", ">\n\nCats would hunt and eat us if they were bigger than us", ">\n\nThey already do, they are called Tigers.", ">\n\nIf there were smaller tigers, we would keep them as pets, but they'd break all our stuff to prove they're still in charge.", ">\n\nThey already do, they are called Cats.", ">\n\nOH MY GOD!", ">\n\nMy tabby is a cute little tiger", ">\n\nI knew we had infrastructure challenges, but I didn't realize we were facing an infrastructure cat-astrophe!", ">\n\nTake my r/angryupvote", ">\n\nI love how shitty the photoshop is. Really ties it all together", ">\n\nYeah I like the idea--but the pictures chosen and color grading are all off. I'd like this idea better executed more professionally.", ">\n\nOh no I'm serious. The unprofessionalism is the best part. I would absolutely pay money for this", ">\n\nOnly only thing weirder is gonna be their crazy ass plan to save the infrastructure.", ">\n\nIt's the engineer Corp, they can build giant cat carriers.", ">\n\nI guess anything beats the 40 million they spend on viagra to keep the soldiers saluting.", ">\n\nThis is delightful", ">\n\ni was imagining mountain lions breaking in to dumpsters or something, not giant house cats gnawing on substations, not disappointed.", ">\n\nI don’t need a calendar now that our pocket rectangles handle all of that for us, but I really want this calendar.", ">\n\nIt is really convenient to just walk by my schedule versus having to pull it up, scroll, click and expand. I tend to forget about things if I don’t see it in front of me, but that’s just how my brain works. Plus if you’re on the phone trying to schedule something it’s nice to write it out too.", ">\n\nI'm sorry, we're already booked for giant spiders.", ">\n\nI personally kinda love this.", ">\n\nBest use of a miniscule amount of our tax dollars in the entire US $1.7T budget. US Army Corp wins the internet today!", ">\n\nHonestly, the entire army corps of engineers may be one of highest rates of return on public good vs funding", ">\n\nSeriously. They do a shit ton of quality and important public work on a relatively shoe-string budget for engineering. I have a lot of respect for the people that work at the USACOE.", ">\n\nSeptember, now that one is art", ">\n\nHaters will say it's Photoshop.", ">\n\nThey’ve never seen Catzilla.", ">\n\nHero of the Week! Hail yourself!", ">\n\nThere it is!", ">\n\n\nThe Army Corps Of Engineers Has Released a 2023 Calendar Of Giant Cats Attacking <\n\nr/brand new sentence \nAlso, giant cats attacking infrastructure is so 2020. In 2023 it just sounds silly.", ">\n\nSeptember ❤️", ">\n\nOmg. I love this. Especially the text blurbs on the pictures. Very funny and adorable!", ">\n\nSounds like they understand cats are required if you want social media traction", ">\n\nI have never wanted to buy a calendar more than I do now!", ">\n\nOn the one hand, I applaud the idea.\nOn the other hand, the photoshop skills look like they came from the army corps of engineers.", ">\n\nWould you actually want them to look like they were perfectly matched to each environment? I'm pretty sure the comedic effect is all that matters here.\nAnd besides, it was just one engineer that created this on their spare time, rather than an official ACE production.", ">\n\nI was mainly being a bit snarky because the internet. That, and what I said was objectively true.", ">\n\nCan confirm, the Corps of Engineers fuckkkkks", ">\n\nGoddammit I just bought my 2023 calendar too lol", ">\n\nThat’s cute though, not worrisome like a lot of other r/nottheonion posts.", ">\n\nAs ever, the Army Corps of Engineers are the one branch of the US state that can get the important shit done", ">\n\nFrom the comments ITT it's evident that most people are unaware of how important they are to the lives of the majority of productive people in this country (people who live near a coastline or a major body of water). It's not just dams and rivers, it's the actual physical coastline of america that they look after.", ">\n\nYup, it seems double edged- people think oh, they're the army corps and assumes they must be doing only military stuff. But equally if it was civilianised no doubt it'd be a target for cuts. An incredible org, regardless. And whether it's cats or weather or warming or the collapse of neglected infrastructure they're going to get more and more important so it's a damn good thing they exist because in 2023, nobody would invent them...", ">\n\nUSACE is an agency that is funded by the DOD but is vastly ran by civilians. There are very few enlisted or commissioned people in the army corps.", ">\n\nOK this is a thing and this is awesome", ">\n\nOops, I had \"Zombie Redneck Torture Family\" in the betting pool.", ">\n\nGrumble. Never gonna see a merman...", ">\n\nUSACE Portland District is one of the absolute best public sector social media presences out there. Seriously. Check it out.", ">\n\nCats in military pictures is an entire IG channel", ">\n\nGood boot", ">\n\nCommand team must be TDY", ">\n\nThat was even better than the title made me think it would be.", ">\n\nI support my tax dollars going to causes such as this.", ">\n\nFinally tax dollars doing something good", ">\n\nI’m kind of disappointed. From the title, I thought there would be photos of actual big cats attacking infrastructure, not photoshopped domestic cats. Anyone have a photo of a puma going after an electrical substation? Or a tiger gnawing on a water line?", ">\n\nNo. No one has that. Would be very interesting though to compile a calendar like that. Peace brother.", ">\n\nGreat, now I need a color printer.\nSeriously, thank you u/radioman8414!", ">\n\nThis is how I want my tax money spent. Downloaded and put up in my office!", ">\n\nThe regional social media guy who put this together is constantly hilarious", ">\n\nGreatest calendar of 2023.", ">\n\nI need one of these for my office! I've worked on some of these dams!", ">\n\nCan I ask you some dam questions?? I’m sure you know a lot of dam information. I’m sure all of us would love some dam stories. Thank you.", ">\n\nSure way to have a more interesting calendar than just infrastructure.", ">\n\nI would so adopt one if they existed.", ">\n\nI've heard army corps of engineers are very difficult to house train. May want to consider before adopting one.", ">\n\nTouché.", ">\n\nThat's amazing, thank you for posting it!", ">\n\nIs there anywhere to buy a nice physical copy of the calendar?", ">\n\nThose cats are mind-controlled by taxoplasmosis alien ameobas!", ">\n\nI was thinking this was gonna be mountain lions taking out maintenance huts or something like that. This is so much better", ">\n\nI’m the daughter of a former Portland, Oregon, US Army Corps Engineer, and I can confirm they are a strange crew. It makes me view the dams on the Columbia River fondly?", ">\n\nI love this so much.", ">\n\nDude. Awesome.", ">\n\nI love this! My astronomy teacher once did a talk on space cats. It was hysterical. Out of the blue he showed us pictures of space with cats added in. He felt we needed a fun class for laughs. I want this calendar.", ">\n\nThis would be really cool if they got a decent digital artist. But they didn't, they used photoshop about as well as I can.", ">\n\nI think that adds to the charm", ">\n\nDon't even need to see it, where can I buy it", ">\n\nFrom the link - \"Because the Army Corps is a Government Agency, the calendar is in public domain and totally free to download and print\"", ">\n\nThis is so funny, because it’s my Dad’s old workplace (from 1971 until he retired). My father, however, has zero sense of humor so he’d never work on something like this.", ">\n\nI met a guy from the Army Corps of Engineers when I worked for the EPA. Smartest guy I've ever met and the 2nd most hippe like person I've ever met. I'd like to think he had something to do with this idea.", ">\n\nFinally the massive military budget of the US is put to good use.", ">\n\nThis is awesome. I might have to buy one.", ">\n\nNo need. It's free, though you have to print it yourself if you want a physical copy", ">\n\nThis is so adorable! I approve wholeheartedly.", ">\n\nIt's about time.", ">\n\nSappers lead the way", ">\n\nI have so much love for this.", ">\n\nEhisssayons.", ">\n\nLove it.", ">\n\nUnintended benefits of relaxed Marijuana policies :)", ">\n\nUsace has not relaxed cannabis policies. No federal agency has", ">\n\nThey certainly have relaxed policy, even though federal law hasn't changed. It's legal in my state and the current administration has announced they won't be pursuing user level Marijuana charges at the federal level.\nWake up.", ">\n\nUSACE still falls under the same policies as the rest of the army. They're treated as DA civilians, and subject to periodic biochemical testing and the resultant consequences if they pee hot. The army has, and will not in the foreseeable future, relax any policy regarding marijuana.", ">\n\nAdorable idea; wish they had hired someone better at photoshop", ">\n\nIts a free gag calendar that was probably just put together by someone for fun in their spare time. Considering the state of infrastructure in the US I don't imagine the Corps of Engineers has a lot of extra spending money to throw around", ">\n\nIf they were smart, they would print it for us and sell it. I don't want a crappy calender that I printed on regular paper, I want the real thing and I would be glad to pay for it.", ">\n\nGenius!! This needs to be a trend. Reddit, make it so...", ">\n\nfuck yeah we finally gonna balance the budget", ">\n\nDecember's hilarious. I want this calender.", ">\n\nYou can totally tell that this is not real. The lighting on the cats is so obviously different than the environmental mistake. Pathetic effort infrastructure geeks.", ">\n\nSo they can blame cats for shoddy workmanship and lax maintenance.", ">\n\nDon't capitalize \"Of\" in titles", ">\n\nWish they'd focus on not taking eight years to permit a fucking project, those lazy excuses for engineers.", ">\n\nYou’re crazy dude. These peeps have built some amazing things. Extremely impressive.", ">\n\nThey used to.", ">\n\n😂", ">\n\nThis whole absurd thing is exactly my sense of humour. LOVE it.", ">\n\nOregon! I've seen the one at Detroit Dam. Sneaky bugger. Hangs out with Bigfoot.", ">\n\nI need this", ">\n\nThat's some adorable terrorism right there.", ">\n\nI remember seeing them, on quad bikes, with a lot of equipment, on Myrtle Beach beaches, I always wondered what they were doing...", ">\n\nI love this sequel to Beginning of the End!", ">\n\nIs there a way I can buy a physical version?", ">\n\nThey're Demo-cats!", ">\n\nAny recommendations of the best way to get this printed semi-professionally? I tried checking Costco photo centre but they make you use a template.", ">\n\nOf course it’s Portland.", ">\n\nKind of disappointing I can't actually buy a printed one. My daughter would love this.", ">\n\nA pretty good idea for a poster. Who doesn't like cats being cats?", ">\n\nI really wish I had become a part of the ACOE but my mother didn't want her only son in the military.", ">\n\nUsace has civilian positions you're employed by the army, but you don't go through basic", ">\n\nI hope they pay more than Nidec.", ">\n\nThanks for sharing! Downloaded and got my new Lock Screen wallpaper.", ">\n\nDecember is 🔥", ">\n\nObligatory Cat Dynamics", ">\n\nPoliticians will say this is the proof of the REAL reason of why our infrastructure is deteriorating, then vote in a measure to hire their friends and family to counter this threat.", ">\n\nI didnt know cats were domestic terrorists like Republicans. lol", ">\n\nThis is the only kind of apocalypse I could see myself getting excited about.", ">\n\nAugust a missed opportunity to have CAT Excavators.", ">\n\nYou have my attention.", ">\n\nSmart move", ">\n\nGod help us." ]

[ "Imagine the work order. \nYour boss comes to you and says, \"Hey, you're in charge of the cats calendar.\"\n\"What calendar?\"\n\"The one with cats attacking infrastructure?\"\n\"What?\"", ">\n\nyou miss ONE day...", ">\n\nHail Vectron!", ">\n\nBy Vectron!", ">\n\nFor those yet to experience the holy might of Vectron's kindly claw", ">\n\nThank you. I had no idea.", ">\n\nYou are most welcome by Vectron", ">\n\nFor the love of all that is Vectron, your speech warms my Vectronic heart.", ">\n\nMay Vectron’s beard shed its benevolence upon us. 🙏🏻🙏🏻", ">\n\nAnd may all of his correspondence to us be sent Vectronically. So it is written, so shall it be done.", ">\n\nI live in Oregon and started to recognize a bunch of the dams, so I was like, “huh, that’s kinda cool.” Then I saw the text at the bottom of the first page. Portland District. Now a cat calendar makes perfect sense.", ">\n\nSame thing happened to me. I think I'm going to head to kinko's and have them print it out for me.", ">\n\nTell them you need to print some important official military documents before you show them what it is", ">\n\nDon’t forget to tell them you need it right meow!", ">\n\nWho will protect our infrastructure from this menace?", ">\n\nAn array of laser pointers.", ">\n\ncut to giant laser pointer satellite", ">\n\nomigod the jewish space lasers were real", ">\n\n*meowish space lasers", ">\n\nHey that's racist", ">\n\nI think it would be cheaper to buy a calendar than use the ink/toner required to print it.", ">\n\nThat's why you print it at work.", ">\n\nhaha true, oh wait I work from home...", ">\n\nIf you print from home for work you can write printer supplies off on your taxes :)", ">\n\nUh yes boss I needed a calendar, so… oh what? Use the company one? Ummm but the US army has a really nice one and I thought I’d be patriotic - what? Oh, yeah I know we’re in Canada, I just…", ">\n\nPortland is pretty much wannabe Vancouver, BC. I say it goes!", ">\n\nExactly what a Canadian would say...", ">\n\nGoodies, goodie goodie, yum yum.", ">\n\nI just scrolled until I found The Goodies reference but was wondering if I was going to find one at all.", ">\n\nIt's way down the list, isn't it? \n/knees hurt.", ">\n\nOw, my back! Get off my lawn!", ">\n\nOne engineer did it in his free time, and released it for use through the corps. \nThis was NOT government funded.", ">\n\nEven if it was government funded, I support this.", ">\n\nEven if it was government funded it would've been like maybe one day of pay at most? Not a ton for the amount of publicity they'll get that might make them even more money.", ">\n\nAssuming they already have the infrastructure pictures I would be surprised if it took more than 4 work hours. Also for chronically underfunded agencies that kind of PR is exactly how you get voters to convince the politicians to increase funds. I look forward to NASA figuring out how to photoshop giant cats playing with the planets like balls of yarn for their calendar", ">\n\n\nI look forward to NASA figuring out how to photoshop giant cats playing with the planets like balls of yarn for their calendar \n\nWell let me introduce you to the most bizarre social media messaging from an official U.S. government agency: The U.S. Consumer Product Safety Commission's Instagram feed. \nAnd before I catch any \"there's no way this is real\" replies, here's the Washington Post covering it: \n\nHow a federal bureaucrat uses astronaut babies and dogs riding pigeons to try to save your life", ">\n\nThis is rad!", ">\n\nCISA losing their shit rn", ">\n\nI would like one.", ">\n\nIt's a free PDF.", ">\n\nNo he would like one of the cats", ">\n\nyOu wOuLdN'T DoWnloAd a cAT", ">\n\nI can’t believe they included Sherlock getting knocked off a cliff. At least he didn’t jump this time.", ">\n\nI'm shocked that you're the only person I've seen comment on this so far! it's hilarious", ">\n\n\"Every year, dozens of cats attack important infrastructure for our country causing dozens of dollars of damage. Won't you help?\"", ">\n\nI heard this with Sarah McLoughlin's voice", ">\n\nArmy Cats", ">\n\nNow do it with pictures of our crumbling infrastructure.", ">\n\nThis seems like one of those things that is somehow going to age poorly given our Universe's current sense of irony. I don't know how exactly, but there's going to be some mass tragedy involving cats and a suspension bridge or something this year.", ">\n\nThe first image kind of reads like \"this infrastructure is super important so don't damage it\". The calendar almost seems like a shopping list for domestic terrorists or something lol.", ">\n\nI mean, pretty obvious that dams, substations, bridges and the like are good targets for chaos. Google maps gives you all this plus Police stations and everything, with photos and the address. Useless to worry about it", ">\n\nSeriously, anyone who unironicly think terrorists were waiting for a cat calendar to list a bunch of locations to bomb is paranoid about the wrong things.", ">\n\nCats would hunt and eat us if they were bigger than us", ">\n\nThey already do, they are called Tigers.", ">\n\nIf there were smaller tigers, we would keep them as pets, but they'd break all our stuff to prove they're still in charge.", ">\n\nThey already do, they are called Cats.", ">\n\nOH MY GOD!", ">\n\nMy tabby is a cute little tiger", ">\n\nI knew we had infrastructure challenges, but I didn't realize we were facing an infrastructure cat-astrophe!", ">\n\nTake my r/angryupvote", ">\n\nI love how shitty the photoshop is. Really ties it all together", ">\n\nYeah I like the idea--but the pictures chosen and color grading are all off. I'd like this idea better executed more professionally.", ">\n\nOh no I'm serious. The unprofessionalism is the best part. I would absolutely pay money for this", ">\n\nOnly only thing weirder is gonna be their crazy ass plan to save the infrastructure.", ">\n\nIt's the engineer Corp, they can build giant cat carriers.", ">\n\nI guess anything beats the 40 million they spend on viagra to keep the soldiers saluting.", ">\n\nThis is delightful", ">\n\ni was imagining mountain lions breaking in to dumpsters or something, not giant house cats gnawing on substations, not disappointed.", ">\n\nI don’t need a calendar now that our pocket rectangles handle all of that for us, but I really want this calendar.", ">\n\nIt is really convenient to just walk by my schedule versus having to pull it up, scroll, click and expand. I tend to forget about things if I don’t see it in front of me, but that’s just how my brain works. Plus if you’re on the phone trying to schedule something it’s nice to write it out too.", ">\n\nI'm sorry, we're already booked for giant spiders.", ">\n\nI personally kinda love this.", ">\n\nBest use of a miniscule amount of our tax dollars in the entire US $1.7T budget. US Army Corp wins the internet today!", ">\n\nHonestly, the entire army corps of engineers may be one of highest rates of return on public good vs funding", ">\n\nSeriously. They do a shit ton of quality and important public work on a relatively shoe-string budget for engineering. I have a lot of respect for the people that work at the USACOE.", ">\n\nSeptember, now that one is art", ">\n\nHaters will say it's Photoshop.", ">\n\nThey’ve never seen Catzilla.", ">\n\nHero of the Week! Hail yourself!", ">\n\nThere it is!", ">\n\n\nThe Army Corps Of Engineers Has Released a 2023 Calendar Of Giant Cats Attacking <\n\nr/brand new sentence \nAlso, giant cats attacking infrastructure is so 2020. In 2023 it just sounds silly.", ">\n\nSeptember ❤️", ">\n\nOmg. I love this. Especially the text blurbs on the pictures. Very funny and adorable!", ">\n\nSounds like they understand cats are required if you want social media traction", ">\n\nI have never wanted to buy a calendar more than I do now!", ">\n\nOn the one hand, I applaud the idea.\nOn the other hand, the photoshop skills look like they came from the army corps of engineers.", ">\n\nWould you actually want them to look like they were perfectly matched to each environment? I'm pretty sure the comedic effect is all that matters here.\nAnd besides, it was just one engineer that created this on their spare time, rather than an official ACE production.", ">\n\nI was mainly being a bit snarky because the internet. That, and what I said was objectively true.", ">\n\nCan confirm, the Corps of Engineers fuckkkkks", ">\n\nGoddammit I just bought my 2023 calendar too lol", ">\n\nThat’s cute though, not worrisome like a lot of other r/nottheonion posts.", ">\n\nAs ever, the Army Corps of Engineers are the one branch of the US state that can get the important shit done", ">\n\nFrom the comments ITT it's evident that most people are unaware of how important they are to the lives of the majority of productive people in this country (people who live near a coastline or a major body of water). It's not just dams and rivers, it's the actual physical coastline of america that they look after.", ">\n\nYup, it seems double edged- people think oh, they're the army corps and assumes they must be doing only military stuff. But equally if it was civilianised no doubt it'd be a target for cuts. An incredible org, regardless. And whether it's cats or weather or warming or the collapse of neglected infrastructure they're going to get more and more important so it's a damn good thing they exist because in 2023, nobody would invent them...", ">\n\nUSACE is an agency that is funded by the DOD but is vastly ran by civilians. There are very few enlisted or commissioned people in the army corps.", ">\n\nOK this is a thing and this is awesome", ">\n\nOops, I had \"Zombie Redneck Torture Family\" in the betting pool.", ">\n\nGrumble. Never gonna see a merman...", ">\n\nUSACE Portland District is one of the absolute best public sector social media presences out there. Seriously. Check it out.", ">\n\nCats in military pictures is an entire IG channel", ">\n\nGood boot", ">\n\nCommand team must be TDY", ">\n\nThat was even better than the title made me think it would be.", ">\n\nI support my tax dollars going to causes such as this.", ">\n\nFinally tax dollars doing something good", ">\n\nI’m kind of disappointed. From the title, I thought there would be photos of actual big cats attacking infrastructure, not photoshopped domestic cats. Anyone have a photo of a puma going after an electrical substation? Or a tiger gnawing on a water line?", ">\n\nNo. No one has that. Would be very interesting though to compile a calendar like that. Peace brother.", ">\n\nGreat, now I need a color printer.\nSeriously, thank you u/radioman8414!", ">\n\nThis is how I want my tax money spent. Downloaded and put up in my office!", ">\n\nThe regional social media guy who put this together is constantly hilarious", ">\n\nGreatest calendar of 2023.", ">\n\nI need one of these for my office! I've worked on some of these dams!", ">\n\nCan I ask you some dam questions?? I’m sure you know a lot of dam information. I’m sure all of us would love some dam stories. Thank you.", ">\n\nSure way to have a more interesting calendar than just infrastructure.", ">\n\nI would so adopt one if they existed.", ">\n\nI've heard army corps of engineers are very difficult to house train. May want to consider before adopting one.", ">\n\nTouché.", ">\n\nThat's amazing, thank you for posting it!", ">\n\nIs there anywhere to buy a nice physical copy of the calendar?", ">\n\nThose cats are mind-controlled by taxoplasmosis alien ameobas!", ">\n\nI was thinking this was gonna be mountain lions taking out maintenance huts or something like that. This is so much better", ">\n\nI’m the daughter of a former Portland, Oregon, US Army Corps Engineer, and I can confirm they are a strange crew. It makes me view the dams on the Columbia River fondly?", ">\n\nI love this so much.", ">\n\nDude. Awesome.", ">\n\nI love this! My astronomy teacher once did a talk on space cats. It was hysterical. Out of the blue he showed us pictures of space with cats added in. He felt we needed a fun class for laughs. I want this calendar.", ">\n\nThis would be really cool if they got a decent digital artist. But they didn't, they used photoshop about as well as I can.", ">\n\nI think that adds to the charm", ">\n\nDon't even need to see it, where can I buy it", ">\n\nFrom the link - \"Because the Army Corps is a Government Agency, the calendar is in public domain and totally free to download and print\"", ">\n\nThis is so funny, because it’s my Dad’s old workplace (from 1971 until he retired). My father, however, has zero sense of humor so he’d never work on something like this.", ">\n\nI met a guy from the Army Corps of Engineers when I worked for the EPA. Smartest guy I've ever met and the 2nd most hippe like person I've ever met. I'd like to think he had something to do with this idea.", ">\n\nFinally the massive military budget of the US is put to good use.", ">\n\nThis is awesome. I might have to buy one.", ">\n\nNo need. It's free, though you have to print it yourself if you want a physical copy", ">\n\nThis is so adorable! I approve wholeheartedly.", ">\n\nIt's about time.", ">\n\nSappers lead the way", ">\n\nI have so much love for this.", ">\n\nEhisssayons.", ">\n\nLove it.", ">\n\nUnintended benefits of relaxed Marijuana policies :)", ">\n\nUsace has not relaxed cannabis policies. No federal agency has", ">\n\nThey certainly have relaxed policy, even though federal law hasn't changed. It's legal in my state and the current administration has announced they won't be pursuing user level Marijuana charges at the federal level.\nWake up.", ">\n\nUSACE still falls under the same policies as the rest of the army. They're treated as DA civilians, and subject to periodic biochemical testing and the resultant consequences if they pee hot. The army has, and will not in the foreseeable future, relax any policy regarding marijuana.", ">\n\nAdorable idea; wish they had hired someone better at photoshop", ">\n\nIts a free gag calendar that was probably just put together by someone for fun in their spare time. Considering the state of infrastructure in the US I don't imagine the Corps of Engineers has a lot of extra spending money to throw around", ">\n\nIf they were smart, they would print it for us and sell it. I don't want a crappy calender that I printed on regular paper, I want the real thing and I would be glad to pay for it.", ">\n\nGenius!! This needs to be a trend. Reddit, make it so...", ">\n\nfuck yeah we finally gonna balance the budget", ">\n\nDecember's hilarious. I want this calender.", ">\n\nYou can totally tell that this is not real. The lighting on the cats is so obviously different than the environmental mistake. Pathetic effort infrastructure geeks.", ">\n\nSo they can blame cats for shoddy workmanship and lax maintenance.", ">\n\nDon't capitalize \"Of\" in titles", ">\n\nWish they'd focus on not taking eight years to permit a fucking project, those lazy excuses for engineers.", ">\n\nYou’re crazy dude. These peeps have built some amazing things. Extremely impressive.", ">\n\nThey used to.", ">\n\n😂", ">\n\nThis whole absurd thing is exactly my sense of humour. LOVE it.", ">\n\nOregon! I've seen the one at Detroit Dam. Sneaky bugger. Hangs out with Bigfoot.", ">\n\nI need this", ">\n\nThat's some adorable terrorism right there.", ">\n\nI remember seeing them, on quad bikes, with a lot of equipment, on Myrtle Beach beaches, I always wondered what they were doing...", ">\n\nI love this sequel to Beginning of the End!", ">\n\nIs there a way I can buy a physical version?", ">\n\nThey're Demo-cats!", ">\n\nAny recommendations of the best way to get this printed semi-professionally? I tried checking Costco photo centre but they make you use a template.", ">\n\nOf course it’s Portland.", ">\n\nKind of disappointing I can't actually buy a printed one. My daughter would love this.", ">\n\nA pretty good idea for a poster. Who doesn't like cats being cats?", ">\n\nI really wish I had become a part of the ACOE but my mother didn't want her only son in the military.", ">\n\nUsace has civilian positions you're employed by the army, but you don't go through basic", ">\n\nI hope they pay more than Nidec.", ">\n\nThanks for sharing! Downloaded and got my new Lock Screen wallpaper.", ">\n\nDecember is 🔥", ">\n\nObligatory Cat Dynamics", ">\n\nPoliticians will say this is the proof of the REAL reason of why our infrastructure is deteriorating, then vote in a measure to hire their friends and family to counter this threat.", ">\n\nI didnt know cats were domestic terrorists like Republicans. lol", ">\n\nThis is the only kind of apocalypse I could see myself getting excited about.", ">\n\nAugust a missed opportunity to have CAT Excavators.", ">\n\nYou have my attention.", ">\n\nSmart move", ">\n\nGod help us.", ">\n\nBest thing to come out of the Army post WWII." ]

[ "Imagine the work order. \nYour boss comes to you and says, \"Hey, you're in charge of the cats calendar.\"\n\"What calendar?\"\n\"The one with cats attacking infrastructure?\"\n\"What?\"", ">\n\nyou miss ONE day...", ">\n\nHail Vectron!", ">\n\nBy Vectron!", ">\n\nFor those yet to experience the holy might of Vectron's kindly claw", ">\n\nThank you. I had no idea.", ">\n\nYou are most welcome by Vectron", ">\n\nFor the love of all that is Vectron, your speech warms my Vectronic heart.", ">\n\nMay Vectron’s beard shed its benevolence upon us. 🙏🏻🙏🏻", ">\n\nAnd may all of his correspondence to us be sent Vectronically. So it is written, so shall it be done.", ">\n\nI live in Oregon and started to recognize a bunch of the dams, so I was like, “huh, that’s kinda cool.” Then I saw the text at the bottom of the first page. Portland District. Now a cat calendar makes perfect sense.", ">\n\nSame thing happened to me. I think I'm going to head to kinko's and have them print it out for me.", ">\n\nTell them you need to print some important official military documents before you show them what it is", ">\n\nDon’t forget to tell them you need it right meow!", ">\n\nWho will protect our infrastructure from this menace?", ">\n\nAn array of laser pointers.", ">\n\ncut to giant laser pointer satellite", ">\n\nomigod the jewish space lasers were real", ">\n\n*meowish space lasers", ">\n\nHey that's racist", ">\n\nI think it would be cheaper to buy a calendar than use the ink/toner required to print it.", ">\n\nThat's why you print it at work.", ">\n\nhaha true, oh wait I work from home...", ">\n\nIf you print from home for work you can write printer supplies off on your taxes :)", ">\n\nUh yes boss I needed a calendar, so… oh what? Use the company one? Ummm but the US army has a really nice one and I thought I’d be patriotic - what? Oh, yeah I know we’re in Canada, I just…", ">\n\nPortland is pretty much wannabe Vancouver, BC. I say it goes!", ">\n\nExactly what a Canadian would say...", ">\n\nGoodies, goodie goodie, yum yum.", ">\n\nI just scrolled until I found The Goodies reference but was wondering if I was going to find one at all.", ">\n\nIt's way down the list, isn't it? \n/knees hurt.", ">\n\nOw, my back! Get off my lawn!", ">\n\nOne engineer did it in his free time, and released it for use through the corps. \nThis was NOT government funded.", ">\n\nEven if it was government funded, I support this.", ">\n\nEven if it was government funded it would've been like maybe one day of pay at most? Not a ton for the amount of publicity they'll get that might make them even more money.", ">\n\nAssuming they already have the infrastructure pictures I would be surprised if it took more than 4 work hours. Also for chronically underfunded agencies that kind of PR is exactly how you get voters to convince the politicians to increase funds. I look forward to NASA figuring out how to photoshop giant cats playing with the planets like balls of yarn for their calendar", ">\n\n\nI look forward to NASA figuring out how to photoshop giant cats playing with the planets like balls of yarn for their calendar \n\nWell let me introduce you to the most bizarre social media messaging from an official U.S. government agency: The U.S. Consumer Product Safety Commission's Instagram feed. \nAnd before I catch any \"there's no way this is real\" replies, here's the Washington Post covering it: \n\nHow a federal bureaucrat uses astronaut babies and dogs riding pigeons to try to save your life", ">\n\nThis is rad!", ">\n\nCISA losing their shit rn", ">\n\nI would like one.", ">\n\nIt's a free PDF.", ">\n\nNo he would like one of the cats", ">\n\nyOu wOuLdN'T DoWnloAd a cAT", ">\n\nI can’t believe they included Sherlock getting knocked off a cliff. At least he didn’t jump this time.", ">\n\nI'm shocked that you're the only person I've seen comment on this so far! it's hilarious", ">\n\n\"Every year, dozens of cats attack important infrastructure for our country causing dozens of dollars of damage. Won't you help?\"", ">\n\nI heard this with Sarah McLoughlin's voice", ">\n\nArmy Cats", ">\n\nNow do it with pictures of our crumbling infrastructure.", ">\n\nThis seems like one of those things that is somehow going to age poorly given our Universe's current sense of irony. I don't know how exactly, but there's going to be some mass tragedy involving cats and a suspension bridge or something this year.", ">\n\nThe first image kind of reads like \"this infrastructure is super important so don't damage it\". The calendar almost seems like a shopping list for domestic terrorists or something lol.", ">\n\nI mean, pretty obvious that dams, substations, bridges and the like are good targets for chaos. Google maps gives you all this plus Police stations and everything, with photos and the address. Useless to worry about it", ">\n\nSeriously, anyone who unironicly think terrorists were waiting for a cat calendar to list a bunch of locations to bomb is paranoid about the wrong things.", ">\n\nCats would hunt and eat us if they were bigger than us", ">\n\nThey already do, they are called Tigers.", ">\n\nIf there were smaller tigers, we would keep them as pets, but they'd break all our stuff to prove they're still in charge.", ">\n\nThey already do, they are called Cats.", ">\n\nOH MY GOD!", ">\n\nMy tabby is a cute little tiger", ">\n\nI knew we had infrastructure challenges, but I didn't realize we were facing an infrastructure cat-astrophe!", ">\n\nTake my r/angryupvote", ">\n\nI love how shitty the photoshop is. Really ties it all together", ">\n\nYeah I like the idea--but the pictures chosen and color grading are all off. I'd like this idea better executed more professionally.", ">\n\nOh no I'm serious. The unprofessionalism is the best part. I would absolutely pay money for this", ">\n\nOnly only thing weirder is gonna be their crazy ass plan to save the infrastructure.", ">\n\nIt's the engineer Corp, they can build giant cat carriers.", ">\n\nI guess anything beats the 40 million they spend on viagra to keep the soldiers saluting.", ">\n\nThis is delightful", ">\n\ni was imagining mountain lions breaking in to dumpsters or something, not giant house cats gnawing on substations, not disappointed.", ">\n\nI don’t need a calendar now that our pocket rectangles handle all of that for us, but I really want this calendar.", ">\n\nIt is really convenient to just walk by my schedule versus having to pull it up, scroll, click and expand. I tend to forget about things if I don’t see it in front of me, but that’s just how my brain works. Plus if you’re on the phone trying to schedule something it’s nice to write it out too.", ">\n\nI'm sorry, we're already booked for giant spiders.", ">\n\nI personally kinda love this.", ">\n\nBest use of a miniscule amount of our tax dollars in the entire US $1.7T budget. US Army Corp wins the internet today!", ">\n\nHonestly, the entire army corps of engineers may be one of highest rates of return on public good vs funding", ">\n\nSeriously. They do a shit ton of quality and important public work on a relatively shoe-string budget for engineering. I have a lot of respect for the people that work at the USACOE.", ">\n\nSeptember, now that one is art", ">\n\nHaters will say it's Photoshop.", ">\n\nThey’ve never seen Catzilla.", ">\n\nHero of the Week! Hail yourself!", ">\n\nThere it is!", ">\n\n\nThe Army Corps Of Engineers Has Released a 2023 Calendar Of Giant Cats Attacking <\n\nr/brand new sentence \nAlso, giant cats attacking infrastructure is so 2020. In 2023 it just sounds silly.", ">\n\nSeptember ❤️", ">\n\nOmg. I love this. Especially the text blurbs on the pictures. Very funny and adorable!", ">\n\nSounds like they understand cats are required if you want social media traction", ">\n\nI have never wanted to buy a calendar more than I do now!", ">\n\nOn the one hand, I applaud the idea.\nOn the other hand, the photoshop skills look like they came from the army corps of engineers.", ">\n\nWould you actually want them to look like they were perfectly matched to each environment? I'm pretty sure the comedic effect is all that matters here.\nAnd besides, it was just one engineer that created this on their spare time, rather than an official ACE production.", ">\n\nI was mainly being a bit snarky because the internet. That, and what I said was objectively true.", ">\n\nCan confirm, the Corps of Engineers fuckkkkks", ">\n\nGoddammit I just bought my 2023 calendar too lol", ">\n\nThat’s cute though, not worrisome like a lot of other r/nottheonion posts.", ">\n\nAs ever, the Army Corps of Engineers are the one branch of the US state that can get the important shit done", ">\n\nFrom the comments ITT it's evident that most people are unaware of how important they are to the lives of the majority of productive people in this country (people who live near a coastline or a major body of water). It's not just dams and rivers, it's the actual physical coastline of america that they look after.", ">\n\nYup, it seems double edged- people think oh, they're the army corps and assumes they must be doing only military stuff. But equally if it was civilianised no doubt it'd be a target for cuts. An incredible org, regardless. And whether it's cats or weather or warming or the collapse of neglected infrastructure they're going to get more and more important so it's a damn good thing they exist because in 2023, nobody would invent them...", ">\n\nUSACE is an agency that is funded by the DOD but is vastly ran by civilians. There are very few enlisted or commissioned people in the army corps.", ">\n\nOK this is a thing and this is awesome", ">\n\nOops, I had \"Zombie Redneck Torture Family\" in the betting pool.", ">\n\nGrumble. Never gonna see a merman...", ">\n\nUSACE Portland District is one of the absolute best public sector social media presences out there. Seriously. Check it out.", ">\n\nCats in military pictures is an entire IG channel", ">\n\nGood boot", ">\n\nCommand team must be TDY", ">\n\nThat was even better than the title made me think it would be.", ">\n\nI support my tax dollars going to causes such as this.", ">\n\nFinally tax dollars doing something good", ">\n\nI’m kind of disappointed. From the title, I thought there would be photos of actual big cats attacking infrastructure, not photoshopped domestic cats. Anyone have a photo of a puma going after an electrical substation? Or a tiger gnawing on a water line?", ">\n\nNo. No one has that. Would be very interesting though to compile a calendar like that. Peace brother.", ">\n\nGreat, now I need a color printer.\nSeriously, thank you u/radioman8414!", ">\n\nThis is how I want my tax money spent. Downloaded and put up in my office!", ">\n\nThe regional social media guy who put this together is constantly hilarious", ">\n\nGreatest calendar of 2023.", ">\n\nI need one of these for my office! I've worked on some of these dams!", ">\n\nCan I ask you some dam questions?? I’m sure you know a lot of dam information. I’m sure all of us would love some dam stories. Thank you.", ">\n\nSure way to have a more interesting calendar than just infrastructure.", ">\n\nI would so adopt one if they existed.", ">\n\nI've heard army corps of engineers are very difficult to house train. May want to consider before adopting one.", ">\n\nTouché.", ">\n\nThat's amazing, thank you for posting it!", ">\n\nIs there anywhere to buy a nice physical copy of the calendar?", ">\n\nThose cats are mind-controlled by taxoplasmosis alien ameobas!", ">\n\nI was thinking this was gonna be mountain lions taking out maintenance huts or something like that. This is so much better", ">\n\nI’m the daughter of a former Portland, Oregon, US Army Corps Engineer, and I can confirm they are a strange crew. It makes me view the dams on the Columbia River fondly?", ">\n\nI love this so much.", ">\n\nDude. Awesome.", ">\n\nI love this! My astronomy teacher once did a talk on space cats. It was hysterical. Out of the blue he showed us pictures of space with cats added in. He felt we needed a fun class for laughs. I want this calendar.", ">\n\nThis would be really cool if they got a decent digital artist. But they didn't, they used photoshop about as well as I can.", ">\n\nI think that adds to the charm", ">\n\nDon't even need to see it, where can I buy it", ">\n\nFrom the link - \"Because the Army Corps is a Government Agency, the calendar is in public domain and totally free to download and print\"", ">\n\nThis is so funny, because it’s my Dad’s old workplace (from 1971 until he retired). My father, however, has zero sense of humor so he’d never work on something like this.", ">\n\nI met a guy from the Army Corps of Engineers when I worked for the EPA. Smartest guy I've ever met and the 2nd most hippe like person I've ever met. I'd like to think he had something to do with this idea.", ">\n\nFinally the massive military budget of the US is put to good use.", ">\n\nThis is awesome. I might have to buy one.", ">\n\nNo need. It's free, though you have to print it yourself if you want a physical copy", ">\n\nThis is so adorable! I approve wholeheartedly.", ">\n\nIt's about time.", ">\n\nSappers lead the way", ">\n\nI have so much love for this.", ">\n\nEhisssayons.", ">\n\nLove it.", ">\n\nUnintended benefits of relaxed Marijuana policies :)", ">\n\nUsace has not relaxed cannabis policies. No federal agency has", ">\n\nThey certainly have relaxed policy, even though federal law hasn't changed. It's legal in my state and the current administration has announced they won't be pursuing user level Marijuana charges at the federal level.\nWake up.", ">\n\nUSACE still falls under the same policies as the rest of the army. They're treated as DA civilians, and subject to periodic biochemical testing and the resultant consequences if they pee hot. The army has, and will not in the foreseeable future, relax any policy regarding marijuana.", ">\n\nAdorable idea; wish they had hired someone better at photoshop", ">\n\nIts a free gag calendar that was probably just put together by someone for fun in their spare time. Considering the state of infrastructure in the US I don't imagine the Corps of Engineers has a lot of extra spending money to throw around", ">\n\nIf they were smart, they would print it for us and sell it. I don't want a crappy calender that I printed on regular paper, I want the real thing and I would be glad to pay for it.", ">\n\nGenius!! This needs to be a trend. Reddit, make it so...", ">\n\nfuck yeah we finally gonna balance the budget", ">\n\nDecember's hilarious. I want this calender.", ">\n\nYou can totally tell that this is not real. The lighting on the cats is so obviously different than the environmental mistake. Pathetic effort infrastructure geeks.", ">\n\nSo they can blame cats for shoddy workmanship and lax maintenance.", ">\n\nDon't capitalize \"Of\" in titles", ">\n\nWish they'd focus on not taking eight years to permit a fucking project, those lazy excuses for engineers.", ">\n\nYou’re crazy dude. These peeps have built some amazing things. Extremely impressive.", ">\n\nThey used to.", ">\n\n😂", ">\n\nThis whole absurd thing is exactly my sense of humour. LOVE it.", ">\n\nOregon! I've seen the one at Detroit Dam. Sneaky bugger. Hangs out with Bigfoot.", ">\n\nI need this", ">\n\nThat's some adorable terrorism right there.", ">\n\nI remember seeing them, on quad bikes, with a lot of equipment, on Myrtle Beach beaches, I always wondered what they were doing...", ">\n\nI love this sequel to Beginning of the End!", ">\n\nIs there a way I can buy a physical version?", ">\n\nThey're Demo-cats!", ">\n\nAny recommendations of the best way to get this printed semi-professionally? I tried checking Costco photo centre but they make you use a template.", ">\n\nOf course it’s Portland.", ">\n\nKind of disappointing I can't actually buy a printed one. My daughter would love this.", ">\n\nA pretty good idea for a poster. Who doesn't like cats being cats?", ">\n\nI really wish I had become a part of the ACOE but my mother didn't want her only son in the military.", ">\n\nUsace has civilian positions you're employed by the army, but you don't go through basic", ">\n\nI hope they pay more than Nidec.", ">\n\nThanks for sharing! Downloaded and got my new Lock Screen wallpaper.", ">\n\nDecember is 🔥", ">\n\nObligatory Cat Dynamics", ">\n\nPoliticians will say this is the proof of the REAL reason of why our infrastructure is deteriorating, then vote in a measure to hire their friends and family to counter this threat.", ">\n\nI didnt know cats were domestic terrorists like Republicans. lol", ">\n\nThis is the only kind of apocalypse I could see myself getting excited about.", ">\n\nAugust a missed opportunity to have CAT Excavators.", ">\n\nYou have my attention.", ">\n\nSmart move", ">\n\nGod help us.", ">\n\nBest thing to come out of the Army post WWII.", ">\n\n🤔" ]

[ "Imagine the work order. \nYour boss comes to you and says, \"Hey, you're in charge of the cats calendar.\"\n\"What calendar?\"\n\"The one with cats attacking infrastructure?\"\n\"What?\"", ">\n\nyou miss ONE day...", ">\n\nHail Vectron!", ">\n\nBy Vectron!", ">\n\nFor those yet to experience the holy might of Vectron's kindly claw", ">\n\nThank you. I had no idea.", ">\n\nYou are most welcome by Vectron", ">\n\nFor the love of all that is Vectron, your speech warms my Vectronic heart.", ">\n\nMay Vectron’s beard shed its benevolence upon us. 🙏🏻🙏🏻", ">\n\nAnd may all of his correspondence to us be sent Vectronically. So it is written, so shall it be done.", ">\n\nI live in Oregon and started to recognize a bunch of the dams, so I was like, “huh, that’s kinda cool.” Then I saw the text at the bottom of the first page. Portland District. Now a cat calendar makes perfect sense.", ">\n\nSame thing happened to me. I think I'm going to head to kinko's and have them print it out for me.", ">\n\nTell them you need to print some important official military documents before you show them what it is", ">\n\nDon’t forget to tell them you need it right meow!", ">\n\nWho will protect our infrastructure from this menace?", ">\n\nAn array of laser pointers.", ">\n\ncut to giant laser pointer satellite", ">\n\nomigod the jewish space lasers were real", ">\n\n*meowish space lasers", ">\n\nHey that's racist", ">\n\nI think it would be cheaper to buy a calendar than use the ink/toner required to print it.", ">\n\nThat's why you print it at work.", ">\n\nhaha true, oh wait I work from home...", ">\n\nIf you print from home for work you can write printer supplies off on your taxes :)", ">\n\nUh yes boss I needed a calendar, so… oh what? Use the company one? Ummm but the US army has a really nice one and I thought I’d be patriotic - what? Oh, yeah I know we’re in Canada, I just…", ">\n\nPortland is pretty much wannabe Vancouver, BC. I say it goes!", ">\n\nExactly what a Canadian would say...", ">\n\nGoodies, goodie goodie, yum yum.", ">\n\nI just scrolled until I found The Goodies reference but was wondering if I was going to find one at all.", ">\n\nIt's way down the list, isn't it? \n/knees hurt.", ">\n\nOw, my back! Get off my lawn!", ">\n\nOne engineer did it in his free time, and released it for use through the corps. \nThis was NOT government funded.", ">\n\nEven if it was government funded, I support this.", ">\n\nEven if it was government funded it would've been like maybe one day of pay at most? Not a ton for the amount of publicity they'll get that might make them even more money.", ">\n\nAssuming they already have the infrastructure pictures I would be surprised if it took more than 4 work hours. Also for chronically underfunded agencies that kind of PR is exactly how you get voters to convince the politicians to increase funds. I look forward to NASA figuring out how to photoshop giant cats playing with the planets like balls of yarn for their calendar", ">\n\n\nI look forward to NASA figuring out how to photoshop giant cats playing with the planets like balls of yarn for their calendar \n\nWell let me introduce you to the most bizarre social media messaging from an official U.S. government agency: The U.S. Consumer Product Safety Commission's Instagram feed. \nAnd before I catch any \"there's no way this is real\" replies, here's the Washington Post covering it: \n\nHow a federal bureaucrat uses astronaut babies and dogs riding pigeons to try to save your life", ">\n\nThis is rad!", ">\n\nCISA losing their shit rn", ">\n\nI would like one.", ">\n\nIt's a free PDF.", ">\n\nNo he would like one of the cats", ">\n\nyOu wOuLdN'T DoWnloAd a cAT", ">\n\nI can’t believe they included Sherlock getting knocked off a cliff. At least he didn’t jump this time.", ">\n\nI'm shocked that you're the only person I've seen comment on this so far! it's hilarious", ">\n\n\"Every year, dozens of cats attack important infrastructure for our country causing dozens of dollars of damage. Won't you help?\"", ">\n\nI heard this with Sarah McLoughlin's voice", ">\n\nArmy Cats", ">\n\nNow do it with pictures of our crumbling infrastructure.", ">\n\nThis seems like one of those things that is somehow going to age poorly given our Universe's current sense of irony. I don't know how exactly, but there's going to be some mass tragedy involving cats and a suspension bridge or something this year.", ">\n\nThe first image kind of reads like \"this infrastructure is super important so don't damage it\". The calendar almost seems like a shopping list for domestic terrorists or something lol.", ">\n\nI mean, pretty obvious that dams, substations, bridges and the like are good targets for chaos. Google maps gives you all this plus Police stations and everything, with photos and the address. Useless to worry about it", ">\n\nSeriously, anyone who unironicly think terrorists were waiting for a cat calendar to list a bunch of locations to bomb is paranoid about the wrong things.", ">\n\nCats would hunt and eat us if they were bigger than us", ">\n\nThey already do, they are called Tigers.", ">\n\nIf there were smaller tigers, we would keep them as pets, but they'd break all our stuff to prove they're still in charge.", ">\n\nThey already do, they are called Cats.", ">\n\nOH MY GOD!", ">\n\nMy tabby is a cute little tiger", ">\n\nI knew we had infrastructure challenges, but I didn't realize we were facing an infrastructure cat-astrophe!", ">\n\nTake my r/angryupvote", ">\n\nI love how shitty the photoshop is. Really ties it all together", ">\n\nYeah I like the idea--but the pictures chosen and color grading are all off. I'd like this idea better executed more professionally.", ">\n\nOh no I'm serious. The unprofessionalism is the best part. I would absolutely pay money for this", ">\n\nOnly only thing weirder is gonna be their crazy ass plan to save the infrastructure.", ">\n\nIt's the engineer Corp, they can build giant cat carriers.", ">\n\nI guess anything beats the 40 million they spend on viagra to keep the soldiers saluting.", ">\n\nThis is delightful", ">\n\ni was imagining mountain lions breaking in to dumpsters or something, not giant house cats gnawing on substations, not disappointed.", ">\n\nI don’t need a calendar now that our pocket rectangles handle all of that for us, but I really want this calendar.", ">\n\nIt is really convenient to just walk by my schedule versus having to pull it up, scroll, click and expand. I tend to forget about things if I don’t see it in front of me, but that’s just how my brain works. Plus if you’re on the phone trying to schedule something it’s nice to write it out too.", ">\n\nI'm sorry, we're already booked for giant spiders.", ">\n\nI personally kinda love this.", ">\n\nBest use of a miniscule amount of our tax dollars in the entire US $1.7T budget. US Army Corp wins the internet today!", ">\n\nHonestly, the entire army corps of engineers may be one of highest rates of return on public good vs funding", ">\n\nSeriously. They do a shit ton of quality and important public work on a relatively shoe-string budget for engineering. I have a lot of respect for the people that work at the USACOE.", ">\n\nSeptember, now that one is art", ">\n\nHaters will say it's Photoshop.", ">\n\nThey’ve never seen Catzilla.", ">\n\nHero of the Week! Hail yourself!", ">\n\nThere it is!", ">\n\n\nThe Army Corps Of Engineers Has Released a 2023 Calendar Of Giant Cats Attacking <\n\nr/brand new sentence \nAlso, giant cats attacking infrastructure is so 2020. In 2023 it just sounds silly.", ">\n\nSeptember ❤️", ">\n\nOmg. I love this. Especially the text blurbs on the pictures. Very funny and adorable!", ">\n\nSounds like they understand cats are required if you want social media traction", ">\n\nI have never wanted to buy a calendar more than I do now!", ">\n\nOn the one hand, I applaud the idea.\nOn the other hand, the photoshop skills look like they came from the army corps of engineers.", ">\n\nWould you actually want them to look like they were perfectly matched to each environment? I'm pretty sure the comedic effect is all that matters here.\nAnd besides, it was just one engineer that created this on their spare time, rather than an official ACE production.", ">\n\nI was mainly being a bit snarky because the internet. That, and what I said was objectively true.", ">\n\nCan confirm, the Corps of Engineers fuckkkkks", ">\n\nGoddammit I just bought my 2023 calendar too lol", ">\n\nThat’s cute though, not worrisome like a lot of other r/nottheonion posts.", ">\n\nAs ever, the Army Corps of Engineers are the one branch of the US state that can get the important shit done", ">\n\nFrom the comments ITT it's evident that most people are unaware of how important they are to the lives of the majority of productive people in this country (people who live near a coastline or a major body of water). It's not just dams and rivers, it's the actual physical coastline of america that they look after.", ">\n\nYup, it seems double edged- people think oh, they're the army corps and assumes they must be doing only military stuff. But equally if it was civilianised no doubt it'd be a target for cuts. An incredible org, regardless. And whether it's cats or weather or warming or the collapse of neglected infrastructure they're going to get more and more important so it's a damn good thing they exist because in 2023, nobody would invent them...", ">\n\nUSACE is an agency that is funded by the DOD but is vastly ran by civilians. There are very few enlisted or commissioned people in the army corps.", ">\n\nOK this is a thing and this is awesome", ">\n\nOops, I had \"Zombie Redneck Torture Family\" in the betting pool.", ">\n\nGrumble. Never gonna see a merman...", ">\n\nUSACE Portland District is one of the absolute best public sector social media presences out there. Seriously. Check it out.", ">\n\nCats in military pictures is an entire IG channel", ">\n\nGood boot", ">\n\nCommand team must be TDY", ">\n\nThat was even better than the title made me think it would be.", ">\n\nI support my tax dollars going to causes such as this.", ">\n\nFinally tax dollars doing something good", ">\n\nI’m kind of disappointed. From the title, I thought there would be photos of actual big cats attacking infrastructure, not photoshopped domestic cats. Anyone have a photo of a puma going after an electrical substation? Or a tiger gnawing on a water line?", ">\n\nNo. No one has that. Would be very interesting though to compile a calendar like that. Peace brother.", ">\n\nGreat, now I need a color printer.\nSeriously, thank you u/radioman8414!", ">\n\nThis is how I want my tax money spent. Downloaded and put up in my office!", ">\n\nThe regional social media guy who put this together is constantly hilarious", ">\n\nGreatest calendar of 2023.", ">\n\nI need one of these for my office! I've worked on some of these dams!", ">\n\nCan I ask you some dam questions?? I’m sure you know a lot of dam information. I’m sure all of us would love some dam stories. Thank you.", ">\n\nSure way to have a more interesting calendar than just infrastructure.", ">\n\nI would so adopt one if they existed.", ">\n\nI've heard army corps of engineers are very difficult to house train. May want to consider before adopting one.", ">\n\nTouché.", ">\n\nThat's amazing, thank you for posting it!", ">\n\nIs there anywhere to buy a nice physical copy of the calendar?", ">\n\nThose cats are mind-controlled by taxoplasmosis alien ameobas!", ">\n\nI was thinking this was gonna be mountain lions taking out maintenance huts or something like that. This is so much better", ">\n\nI’m the daughter of a former Portland, Oregon, US Army Corps Engineer, and I can confirm they are a strange crew. It makes me view the dams on the Columbia River fondly?", ">\n\nI love this so much.", ">\n\nDude. Awesome.", ">\n\nI love this! My astronomy teacher once did a talk on space cats. It was hysterical. Out of the blue he showed us pictures of space with cats added in. He felt we needed a fun class for laughs. I want this calendar.", ">\n\nThis would be really cool if they got a decent digital artist. But they didn't, they used photoshop about as well as I can.", ">\n\nI think that adds to the charm", ">\n\nDon't even need to see it, where can I buy it", ">\n\nFrom the link - \"Because the Army Corps is a Government Agency, the calendar is in public domain and totally free to download and print\"", ">\n\nThis is so funny, because it’s my Dad’s old workplace (from 1971 until he retired). My father, however, has zero sense of humor so he’d never work on something like this.", ">\n\nI met a guy from the Army Corps of Engineers when I worked for the EPA. Smartest guy I've ever met and the 2nd most hippe like person I've ever met. I'd like to think he had something to do with this idea.", ">\n\nFinally the massive military budget of the US is put to good use.", ">\n\nThis is awesome. I might have to buy one.", ">\n\nNo need. It's free, though you have to print it yourself if you want a physical copy", ">\n\nThis is so adorable! I approve wholeheartedly.", ">\n\nIt's about time.", ">\n\nSappers lead the way", ">\n\nI have so much love for this.", ">\n\nEhisssayons.", ">\n\nLove it.", ">\n\nUnintended benefits of relaxed Marijuana policies :)", ">\n\nUsace has not relaxed cannabis policies. No federal agency has", ">\n\nThey certainly have relaxed policy, even though federal law hasn't changed. It's legal in my state and the current administration has announced they won't be pursuing user level Marijuana charges at the federal level.\nWake up.", ">\n\nUSACE still falls under the same policies as the rest of the army. They're treated as DA civilians, and subject to periodic biochemical testing and the resultant consequences if they pee hot. The army has, and will not in the foreseeable future, relax any policy regarding marijuana.", ">\n\nAdorable idea; wish they had hired someone better at photoshop", ">\n\nIts a free gag calendar that was probably just put together by someone for fun in their spare time. Considering the state of infrastructure in the US I don't imagine the Corps of Engineers has a lot of extra spending money to throw around", ">\n\nIf they were smart, they would print it for us and sell it. I don't want a crappy calender that I printed on regular paper, I want the real thing and I would be glad to pay for it.", ">\n\nGenius!! This needs to be a trend. Reddit, make it so...", ">\n\nfuck yeah we finally gonna balance the budget", ">\n\nDecember's hilarious. I want this calender.", ">\n\nYou can totally tell that this is not real. The lighting on the cats is so obviously different than the environmental mistake. Pathetic effort infrastructure geeks.", ">\n\nSo they can blame cats for shoddy workmanship and lax maintenance.", ">\n\nDon't capitalize \"Of\" in titles", ">\n\nWish they'd focus on not taking eight years to permit a fucking project, those lazy excuses for engineers.", ">\n\nYou’re crazy dude. These peeps have built some amazing things. Extremely impressive.", ">\n\nThey used to.", ">\n\n😂", ">\n\nThis whole absurd thing is exactly my sense of humour. LOVE it.", ">\n\nOregon! I've seen the one at Detroit Dam. Sneaky bugger. Hangs out with Bigfoot.", ">\n\nI need this", ">\n\nThat's some adorable terrorism right there.", ">\n\nI remember seeing them, on quad bikes, with a lot of equipment, on Myrtle Beach beaches, I always wondered what they were doing...", ">\n\nI love this sequel to Beginning of the End!", ">\n\nIs there a way I can buy a physical version?", ">\n\nThey're Demo-cats!", ">\n\nAny recommendations of the best way to get this printed semi-professionally? I tried checking Costco photo centre but they make you use a template.", ">\n\nOf course it’s Portland.", ">\n\nKind of disappointing I can't actually buy a printed one. My daughter would love this.", ">\n\nA pretty good idea for a poster. Who doesn't like cats being cats?", ">\n\nI really wish I had become a part of the ACOE but my mother didn't want her only son in the military.", ">\n\nUsace has civilian positions you're employed by the army, but you don't go through basic", ">\n\nI hope they pay more than Nidec.", ">\n\nThanks for sharing! Downloaded and got my new Lock Screen wallpaper.", ">\n\nDecember is 🔥", ">\n\nObligatory Cat Dynamics", ">\n\nPoliticians will say this is the proof of the REAL reason of why our infrastructure is deteriorating, then vote in a measure to hire their friends and family to counter this threat.", ">\n\nI didnt know cats were domestic terrorists like Republicans. lol", ">\n\nThis is the only kind of apocalypse I could see myself getting excited about.", ">\n\nAugust a missed opportunity to have CAT Excavators.", ">\n\nYou have my attention.", ">\n\nSmart move", ">\n\nGod help us.", ">\n\nBest thing to come out of the Army post WWII.", ">\n\n🤔", ">\n\n\"Let's write a two paragraph article about something freely available on the internet and make absolutely no attempt to actually tell you where to find it\"." ]

[ "Imagine the work order. \nYour boss comes to you and says, \"Hey, you're in charge of the cats calendar.\"\n\"What calendar?\"\n\"The one with cats attacking infrastructure?\"\n\"What?\"", ">\n\nyou miss ONE day...", ">\n\nHail Vectron!", ">\n\nBy Vectron!", ">\n\nFor those yet to experience the holy might of Vectron's kindly claw", ">\n\nThank you. I had no idea.", ">\n\nYou are most welcome by Vectron", ">\n\nFor the love of all that is Vectron, your speech warms my Vectronic heart.", ">\n\nMay Vectron’s beard shed its benevolence upon us. 🙏🏻🙏🏻", ">\n\nAnd may all of his correspondence to us be sent Vectronically. So it is written, so shall it be done.", ">\n\nI live in Oregon and started to recognize a bunch of the dams, so I was like, “huh, that’s kinda cool.” Then I saw the text at the bottom of the first page. Portland District. Now a cat calendar makes perfect sense.", ">\n\nSame thing happened to me. I think I'm going to head to kinko's and have them print it out for me.", ">\n\nTell them you need to print some important official military documents before you show them what it is", ">\n\nDon’t forget to tell them you need it right meow!", ">\n\nWho will protect our infrastructure from this menace?", ">\n\nAn array of laser pointers.", ">\n\ncut to giant laser pointer satellite", ">\n\nomigod the jewish space lasers were real", ">\n\n*meowish space lasers", ">\n\nHey that's racist", ">\n\nI think it would be cheaper to buy a calendar than use the ink/toner required to print it.", ">\n\nThat's why you print it at work.", ">\n\nhaha true, oh wait I work from home...", ">\n\nIf you print from home for work you can write printer supplies off on your taxes :)", ">\n\nUh yes boss I needed a calendar, so… oh what? Use the company one? Ummm but the US army has a really nice one and I thought I’d be patriotic - what? Oh, yeah I know we’re in Canada, I just…", ">\n\nPortland is pretty much wannabe Vancouver, BC. I say it goes!", ">\n\nExactly what a Canadian would say...", ">\n\nGoodies, goodie goodie, yum yum.", ">\n\nI just scrolled until I found The Goodies reference but was wondering if I was going to find one at all.", ">\n\nIt's way down the list, isn't it? \n/knees hurt.", ">\n\nOw, my back! Get off my lawn!", ">\n\nOne engineer did it in his free time, and released it for use through the corps. \nThis was NOT government funded.", ">\n\nEven if it was government funded, I support this.", ">\n\nEven if it was government funded it would've been like maybe one day of pay at most? Not a ton for the amount of publicity they'll get that might make them even more money.", ">\n\nAssuming they already have the infrastructure pictures I would be surprised if it took more than 4 work hours. Also for chronically underfunded agencies that kind of PR is exactly how you get voters to convince the politicians to increase funds. I look forward to NASA figuring out how to photoshop giant cats playing with the planets like balls of yarn for their calendar", ">\n\n\nI look forward to NASA figuring out how to photoshop giant cats playing with the planets like balls of yarn for their calendar \n\nWell let me introduce you to the most bizarre social media messaging from an official U.S. government agency: The U.S. Consumer Product Safety Commission's Instagram feed. \nAnd before I catch any \"there's no way this is real\" replies, here's the Washington Post covering it: \n\nHow a federal bureaucrat uses astronaut babies and dogs riding pigeons to try to save your life", ">\n\nThis is rad!", ">\n\nCISA losing their shit rn", ">\n\nI would like one.", ">\n\nIt's a free PDF.", ">\n\nNo he would like one of the cats", ">\n\nyOu wOuLdN'T DoWnloAd a cAT", ">\n\nI can’t believe they included Sherlock getting knocked off a cliff. At least he didn’t jump this time.", ">\n\nI'm shocked that you're the only person I've seen comment on this so far! it's hilarious", ">\n\n\"Every year, dozens of cats attack important infrastructure for our country causing dozens of dollars of damage. Won't you help?\"", ">\n\nI heard this with Sarah McLoughlin's voice", ">\n\nArmy Cats", ">\n\nNow do it with pictures of our crumbling infrastructure.", ">\n\nThis seems like one of those things that is somehow going to age poorly given our Universe's current sense of irony. I don't know how exactly, but there's going to be some mass tragedy involving cats and a suspension bridge or something this year.", ">\n\nThe first image kind of reads like \"this infrastructure is super important so don't damage it\". The calendar almost seems like a shopping list for domestic terrorists or something lol.", ">\n\nI mean, pretty obvious that dams, substations, bridges and the like are good targets for chaos. Google maps gives you all this plus Police stations and everything, with photos and the address. Useless to worry about it", ">\n\nSeriously, anyone who unironicly think terrorists were waiting for a cat calendar to list a bunch of locations to bomb is paranoid about the wrong things.", ">\n\nCats would hunt and eat us if they were bigger than us", ">\n\nThey already do, they are called Tigers.", ">\n\nIf there were smaller tigers, we would keep them as pets, but they'd break all our stuff to prove they're still in charge.", ">\n\nThey already do, they are called Cats.", ">\n\nOH MY GOD!", ">\n\nMy tabby is a cute little tiger", ">\n\nI knew we had infrastructure challenges, but I didn't realize we were facing an infrastructure cat-astrophe!", ">\n\nTake my r/angryupvote", ">\n\nI love how shitty the photoshop is. Really ties it all together", ">\n\nYeah I like the idea--but the pictures chosen and color grading are all off. I'd like this idea better executed more professionally.", ">\n\nOh no I'm serious. The unprofessionalism is the best part. I would absolutely pay money for this", ">\n\nOnly only thing weirder is gonna be their crazy ass plan to save the infrastructure.", ">\n\nIt's the engineer Corp, they can build giant cat carriers.", ">\n\nI guess anything beats the 40 million they spend on viagra to keep the soldiers saluting.", ">\n\nThis is delightful", ">\n\ni was imagining mountain lions breaking in to dumpsters or something, not giant house cats gnawing on substations, not disappointed.", ">\n\nI don’t need a calendar now that our pocket rectangles handle all of that for us, but I really want this calendar.", ">\n\nIt is really convenient to just walk by my schedule versus having to pull it up, scroll, click and expand. I tend to forget about things if I don’t see it in front of me, but that’s just how my brain works. Plus if you’re on the phone trying to schedule something it’s nice to write it out too.", ">\n\nI'm sorry, we're already booked for giant spiders.", ">\n\nI personally kinda love this.", ">\n\nBest use of a miniscule amount of our tax dollars in the entire US $1.7T budget. US Army Corp wins the internet today!", ">\n\nHonestly, the entire army corps of engineers may be one of highest rates of return on public good vs funding", ">\n\nSeriously. They do a shit ton of quality and important public work on a relatively shoe-string budget for engineering. I have a lot of respect for the people that work at the USACOE.", ">\n\nSeptember, now that one is art", ">\n\nHaters will say it's Photoshop.", ">\n\nThey’ve never seen Catzilla.", ">\n\nHero of the Week! Hail yourself!", ">\n\nThere it is!", ">\n\n\nThe Army Corps Of Engineers Has Released a 2023 Calendar Of Giant Cats Attacking <\n\nr/brand new sentence \nAlso, giant cats attacking infrastructure is so 2020. In 2023 it just sounds silly.", ">\n\nSeptember ❤️", ">\n\nOmg. I love this. Especially the text blurbs on the pictures. Very funny and adorable!", ">\n\nSounds like they understand cats are required if you want social media traction", ">\n\nI have never wanted to buy a calendar more than I do now!", ">\n\nOn the one hand, I applaud the idea.\nOn the other hand, the photoshop skills look like they came from the army corps of engineers.", ">\n\nWould you actually want them to look like they were perfectly matched to each environment? I'm pretty sure the comedic effect is all that matters here.\nAnd besides, it was just one engineer that created this on their spare time, rather than an official ACE production.", ">\n\nI was mainly being a bit snarky because the internet. That, and what I said was objectively true.", ">\n\nCan confirm, the Corps of Engineers fuckkkkks", ">\n\nGoddammit I just bought my 2023 calendar too lol", ">\n\nThat’s cute though, not worrisome like a lot of other r/nottheonion posts.", ">\n\nAs ever, the Army Corps of Engineers are the one branch of the US state that can get the important shit done", ">\n\nFrom the comments ITT it's evident that most people are unaware of how important they are to the lives of the majority of productive people in this country (people who live near a coastline or a major body of water). It's not just dams and rivers, it's the actual physical coastline of america that they look after.", ">\n\nYup, it seems double edged- people think oh, they're the army corps and assumes they must be doing only military stuff. But equally if it was civilianised no doubt it'd be a target for cuts. An incredible org, regardless. And whether it's cats or weather or warming or the collapse of neglected infrastructure they're going to get more and more important so it's a damn good thing they exist because in 2023, nobody would invent them...", ">\n\nUSACE is an agency that is funded by the DOD but is vastly ran by civilians. There are very few enlisted or commissioned people in the army corps.", ">\n\nOK this is a thing and this is awesome", ">\n\nOops, I had \"Zombie Redneck Torture Family\" in the betting pool.", ">\n\nGrumble. Never gonna see a merman...", ">\n\nUSACE Portland District is one of the absolute best public sector social media presences out there. Seriously. Check it out.", ">\n\nCats in military pictures is an entire IG channel", ">\n\nGood boot", ">\n\nCommand team must be TDY", ">\n\nThat was even better than the title made me think it would be.", ">\n\nI support my tax dollars going to causes such as this.", ">\n\nFinally tax dollars doing something good", ">\n\nI’m kind of disappointed. From the title, I thought there would be photos of actual big cats attacking infrastructure, not photoshopped domestic cats. Anyone have a photo of a puma going after an electrical substation? Or a tiger gnawing on a water line?", ">\n\nNo. No one has that. Would be very interesting though to compile a calendar like that. Peace brother.", ">\n\nGreat, now I need a color printer.\nSeriously, thank you u/radioman8414!", ">\n\nThis is how I want my tax money spent. Downloaded and put up in my office!", ">\n\nThe regional social media guy who put this together is constantly hilarious", ">\n\nGreatest calendar of 2023.", ">\n\nI need one of these for my office! I've worked on some of these dams!", ">\n\nCan I ask you some dam questions?? I’m sure you know a lot of dam information. I’m sure all of us would love some dam stories. Thank you.", ">\n\nSure way to have a more interesting calendar than just infrastructure.", ">\n\nI would so adopt one if they existed.", ">\n\nI've heard army corps of engineers are very difficult to house train. May want to consider before adopting one.", ">\n\nTouché.", ">\n\nThat's amazing, thank you for posting it!", ">\n\nIs there anywhere to buy a nice physical copy of the calendar?", ">\n\nThose cats are mind-controlled by taxoplasmosis alien ameobas!", ">\n\nI was thinking this was gonna be mountain lions taking out maintenance huts or something like that. This is so much better", ">\n\nI’m the daughter of a former Portland, Oregon, US Army Corps Engineer, and I can confirm they are a strange crew. It makes me view the dams on the Columbia River fondly?", ">\n\nI love this so much.", ">\n\nDude. Awesome.", ">\n\nI love this! My astronomy teacher once did a talk on space cats. It was hysterical. Out of the blue he showed us pictures of space with cats added in. He felt we needed a fun class for laughs. I want this calendar.", ">\n\nThis would be really cool if they got a decent digital artist. But they didn't, they used photoshop about as well as I can.", ">\n\nI think that adds to the charm", ">\n\nDon't even need to see it, where can I buy it", ">\n\nFrom the link - \"Because the Army Corps is a Government Agency, the calendar is in public domain and totally free to download and print\"", ">\n\nThis is so funny, because it’s my Dad’s old workplace (from 1971 until he retired). My father, however, has zero sense of humor so he’d never work on something like this.", ">\n\nI met a guy from the Army Corps of Engineers when I worked for the EPA. Smartest guy I've ever met and the 2nd most hippe like person I've ever met. I'd like to think he had something to do with this idea.", ">\n\nFinally the massive military budget of the US is put to good use.", ">\n\nThis is awesome. I might have to buy one.", ">\n\nNo need. It's free, though you have to print it yourself if you want a physical copy", ">\n\nThis is so adorable! I approve wholeheartedly.", ">\n\nIt's about time.", ">\n\nSappers lead the way", ">\n\nI have so much love for this.", ">\n\nEhisssayons.", ">\n\nLove it.", ">\n\nUnintended benefits of relaxed Marijuana policies :)", ">\n\nUsace has not relaxed cannabis policies. No federal agency has", ">\n\nThey certainly have relaxed policy, even though federal law hasn't changed. It's legal in my state and the current administration has announced they won't be pursuing user level Marijuana charges at the federal level.\nWake up.", ">\n\nUSACE still falls under the same policies as the rest of the army. They're treated as DA civilians, and subject to periodic biochemical testing and the resultant consequences if they pee hot. The army has, and will not in the foreseeable future, relax any policy regarding marijuana.", ">\n\nAdorable idea; wish they had hired someone better at photoshop", ">\n\nIts a free gag calendar that was probably just put together by someone for fun in their spare time. Considering the state of infrastructure in the US I don't imagine the Corps of Engineers has a lot of extra spending money to throw around", ">\n\nIf they were smart, they would print it for us and sell it. I don't want a crappy calender that I printed on regular paper, I want the real thing and I would be glad to pay for it.", ">\n\nGenius!! This needs to be a trend. Reddit, make it so...", ">\n\nfuck yeah we finally gonna balance the budget", ">\n\nDecember's hilarious. I want this calender.", ">\n\nYou can totally tell that this is not real. The lighting on the cats is so obviously different than the environmental mistake. Pathetic effort infrastructure geeks.", ">\n\nSo they can blame cats for shoddy workmanship and lax maintenance.", ">\n\nDon't capitalize \"Of\" in titles", ">\n\nWish they'd focus on not taking eight years to permit a fucking project, those lazy excuses for engineers.", ">\n\nYou’re crazy dude. These peeps have built some amazing things. Extremely impressive.", ">\n\nThey used to.", ">\n\n😂", ">\n\nThis whole absurd thing is exactly my sense of humour. LOVE it.", ">\n\nOregon! I've seen the one at Detroit Dam. Sneaky bugger. Hangs out with Bigfoot.", ">\n\nI need this", ">\n\nThat's some adorable terrorism right there.", ">\n\nI remember seeing them, on quad bikes, with a lot of equipment, on Myrtle Beach beaches, I always wondered what they were doing...", ">\n\nI love this sequel to Beginning of the End!", ">\n\nIs there a way I can buy a physical version?", ">\n\nThey're Demo-cats!", ">\n\nAny recommendations of the best way to get this printed semi-professionally? I tried checking Costco photo centre but they make you use a template.", ">\n\nOf course it’s Portland.", ">\n\nKind of disappointing I can't actually buy a printed one. My daughter would love this.", ">\n\nA pretty good idea for a poster. Who doesn't like cats being cats?", ">\n\nI really wish I had become a part of the ACOE but my mother didn't want her only son in the military.", ">\n\nUsace has civilian positions you're employed by the army, but you don't go through basic", ">\n\nI hope they pay more than Nidec.", ">\n\nThanks for sharing! Downloaded and got my new Lock Screen wallpaper.", ">\n\nDecember is 🔥", ">\n\nObligatory Cat Dynamics", ">\n\nPoliticians will say this is the proof of the REAL reason of why our infrastructure is deteriorating, then vote in a measure to hire their friends and family to counter this threat.", ">\n\nI didnt know cats were domestic terrorists like Republicans. lol", ">\n\nThis is the only kind of apocalypse I could see myself getting excited about.", ">\n\nAugust a missed opportunity to have CAT Excavators.", ">\n\nYou have my attention.", ">\n\nSmart move", ">\n\nGod help us.", ">\n\nBest thing to come out of the Army post WWII.", ">\n\n🤔", ">\n\n\"Let's write a two paragraph article about something freely available on the internet and make absolutely no attempt to actually tell you where to find it\".", ">\n\nCatjira!" ]

[ "Imagine the work order. \nYour boss comes to you and says, \"Hey, you're in charge of the cats calendar.\"\n\"What calendar?\"\n\"The one with cats attacking infrastructure?\"\n\"What?\"", ">\n\nyou miss ONE day...", ">\n\nHail Vectron!", ">\n\nBy Vectron!", ">\n\nFor those yet to experience the holy might of Vectron's kindly claw", ">\n\nThank you. I had no idea.", ">\n\nYou are most welcome by Vectron", ">\n\nFor the love of all that is Vectron, your speech warms my Vectronic heart.", ">\n\nMay Vectron’s beard shed its benevolence upon us. 🙏🏻🙏🏻", ">\n\nAnd may all of his correspondence to us be sent Vectronically. So it is written, so shall it be done.", ">\n\nI live in Oregon and started to recognize a bunch of the dams, so I was like, “huh, that’s kinda cool.” Then I saw the text at the bottom of the first page. Portland District. Now a cat calendar makes perfect sense.", ">\n\nSame thing happened to me. I think I'm going to head to kinko's and have them print it out for me.", ">\n\nTell them you need to print some important official military documents before you show them what it is", ">\n\nDon’t forget to tell them you need it right meow!", ">\n\nWho will protect our infrastructure from this menace?", ">\n\nAn array of laser pointers.", ">\n\ncut to giant laser pointer satellite", ">\n\nomigod the jewish space lasers were real", ">\n\n*meowish space lasers", ">\n\nHey that's racist", ">\n\nI think it would be cheaper to buy a calendar than use the ink/toner required to print it.", ">\n\nThat's why you print it at work.", ">\n\nhaha true, oh wait I work from home...", ">\n\nIf you print from home for work you can write printer supplies off on your taxes :)", ">\n\nUh yes boss I needed a calendar, so… oh what? Use the company one? Ummm but the US army has a really nice one and I thought I’d be patriotic - what? Oh, yeah I know we’re in Canada, I just…", ">\n\nPortland is pretty much wannabe Vancouver, BC. I say it goes!", ">\n\nExactly what a Canadian would say...", ">\n\nGoodies, goodie goodie, yum yum.", ">\n\nI just scrolled until I found The Goodies reference but was wondering if I was going to find one at all.", ">\n\nIt's way down the list, isn't it? \n/knees hurt.", ">\n\nOw, my back! Get off my lawn!", ">\n\nOne engineer did it in his free time, and released it for use through the corps. \nThis was NOT government funded.", ">\n\nEven if it was government funded, I support this.", ">\n\nEven if it was government funded it would've been like maybe one day of pay at most? Not a ton for the amount of publicity they'll get that might make them even more money.", ">\n\nAssuming they already have the infrastructure pictures I would be surprised if it took more than 4 work hours. Also for chronically underfunded agencies that kind of PR is exactly how you get voters to convince the politicians to increase funds. I look forward to NASA figuring out how to photoshop giant cats playing with the planets like balls of yarn for their calendar", ">\n\n\nI look forward to NASA figuring out how to photoshop giant cats playing with the planets like balls of yarn for their calendar \n\nWell let me introduce you to the most bizarre social media messaging from an official U.S. government agency: The U.S. Consumer Product Safety Commission's Instagram feed. \nAnd before I catch any \"there's no way this is real\" replies, here's the Washington Post covering it: \n\nHow a federal bureaucrat uses astronaut babies and dogs riding pigeons to try to save your life", ">\n\nThis is rad!", ">\n\nCISA losing their shit rn", ">\n\nI would like one.", ">\n\nIt's a free PDF.", ">\n\nNo he would like one of the cats", ">\n\nyOu wOuLdN'T DoWnloAd a cAT", ">\n\nI can’t believe they included Sherlock getting knocked off a cliff. At least he didn’t jump this time.", ">\n\nI'm shocked that you're the only person I've seen comment on this so far! it's hilarious", ">\n\n\"Every year, dozens of cats attack important infrastructure for our country causing dozens of dollars of damage. Won't you help?\"", ">\n\nI heard this with Sarah McLoughlin's voice", ">\n\nArmy Cats", ">\n\nNow do it with pictures of our crumbling infrastructure.", ">\n\nThis seems like one of those things that is somehow going to age poorly given our Universe's current sense of irony. I don't know how exactly, but there's going to be some mass tragedy involving cats and a suspension bridge or something this year.", ">\n\nThe first image kind of reads like \"this infrastructure is super important so don't damage it\". The calendar almost seems like a shopping list for domestic terrorists or something lol.", ">\n\nI mean, pretty obvious that dams, substations, bridges and the like are good targets for chaos. Google maps gives you all this plus Police stations and everything, with photos and the address. Useless to worry about it", ">\n\nSeriously, anyone who unironicly think terrorists were waiting for a cat calendar to list a bunch of locations to bomb is paranoid about the wrong things.", ">\n\nCats would hunt and eat us if they were bigger than us", ">\n\nThey already do, they are called Tigers.", ">\n\nIf there were smaller tigers, we would keep them as pets, but they'd break all our stuff to prove they're still in charge.", ">\n\nThey already do, they are called Cats.", ">\n\nOH MY GOD!", ">\n\nMy tabby is a cute little tiger", ">\n\nI knew we had infrastructure challenges, but I didn't realize we were facing an infrastructure cat-astrophe!", ">\n\nTake my r/angryupvote", ">\n\nI love how shitty the photoshop is. Really ties it all together", ">\n\nYeah I like the idea--but the pictures chosen and color grading are all off. I'd like this idea better executed more professionally.", ">\n\nOh no I'm serious. The unprofessionalism is the best part. I would absolutely pay money for this", ">\n\nOnly only thing weirder is gonna be their crazy ass plan to save the infrastructure.", ">\n\nIt's the engineer Corp, they can build giant cat carriers.", ">\n\nI guess anything beats the 40 million they spend on viagra to keep the soldiers saluting.", ">\n\nThis is delightful", ">\n\ni was imagining mountain lions breaking in to dumpsters or something, not giant house cats gnawing on substations, not disappointed.", ">\n\nI don’t need a calendar now that our pocket rectangles handle all of that for us, but I really want this calendar.", ">\n\nIt is really convenient to just walk by my schedule versus having to pull it up, scroll, click and expand. I tend to forget about things if I don’t see it in front of me, but that’s just how my brain works. Plus if you’re on the phone trying to schedule something it’s nice to write it out too.", ">\n\nI'm sorry, we're already booked for giant spiders.", ">\n\nI personally kinda love this.", ">\n\nBest use of a miniscule amount of our tax dollars in the entire US $1.7T budget. US Army Corp wins the internet today!", ">\n\nHonestly, the entire army corps of engineers may be one of highest rates of return on public good vs funding", ">\n\nSeriously. They do a shit ton of quality and important public work on a relatively shoe-string budget for engineering. I have a lot of respect for the people that work at the USACOE.", ">\n\nSeptember, now that one is art", ">\n\nHaters will say it's Photoshop.", ">\n\nThey’ve never seen Catzilla.", ">\n\nHero of the Week! Hail yourself!", ">\n\nThere it is!", ">\n\n\nThe Army Corps Of Engineers Has Released a 2023 Calendar Of Giant Cats Attacking <\n\nr/brand new sentence \nAlso, giant cats attacking infrastructure is so 2020. In 2023 it just sounds silly.", ">\n\nSeptember ❤️", ">\n\nOmg. I love this. Especially the text blurbs on the pictures. Very funny and adorable!", ">\n\nSounds like they understand cats are required if you want social media traction", ">\n\nI have never wanted to buy a calendar more than I do now!", ">\n\nOn the one hand, I applaud the idea.\nOn the other hand, the photoshop skills look like they came from the army corps of engineers.", ">\n\nWould you actually want them to look like they were perfectly matched to each environment? I'm pretty sure the comedic effect is all that matters here.\nAnd besides, it was just one engineer that created this on their spare time, rather than an official ACE production.", ">\n\nI was mainly being a bit snarky because the internet. That, and what I said was objectively true.", ">\n\nCan confirm, the Corps of Engineers fuckkkkks", ">\n\nGoddammit I just bought my 2023 calendar too lol", ">\n\nThat’s cute though, not worrisome like a lot of other r/nottheonion posts.", ">\n\nAs ever, the Army Corps of Engineers are the one branch of the US state that can get the important shit done", ">\n\nFrom the comments ITT it's evident that most people are unaware of how important they are to the lives of the majority of productive people in this country (people who live near a coastline or a major body of water). It's not just dams and rivers, it's the actual physical coastline of america that they look after.", ">\n\nYup, it seems double edged- people think oh, they're the army corps and assumes they must be doing only military stuff. But equally if it was civilianised no doubt it'd be a target for cuts. An incredible org, regardless. And whether it's cats or weather or warming or the collapse of neglected infrastructure they're going to get more and more important so it's a damn good thing they exist because in 2023, nobody would invent them...", ">\n\nUSACE is an agency that is funded by the DOD but is vastly ran by civilians. There are very few enlisted or commissioned people in the army corps.", ">\n\nOK this is a thing and this is awesome", ">\n\nOops, I had \"Zombie Redneck Torture Family\" in the betting pool.", ">\n\nGrumble. Never gonna see a merman...", ">\n\nUSACE Portland District is one of the absolute best public sector social media presences out there. Seriously. Check it out.", ">\n\nCats in military pictures is an entire IG channel", ">\n\nGood boot", ">\n\nCommand team must be TDY", ">\n\nThat was even better than the title made me think it would be.", ">\n\nI support my tax dollars going to causes such as this.", ">\n\nFinally tax dollars doing something good", ">\n\nI’m kind of disappointed. From the title, I thought there would be photos of actual big cats attacking infrastructure, not photoshopped domestic cats. Anyone have a photo of a puma going after an electrical substation? Or a tiger gnawing on a water line?", ">\n\nNo. No one has that. Would be very interesting though to compile a calendar like that. Peace brother.", ">\n\nGreat, now I need a color printer.\nSeriously, thank you u/radioman8414!", ">\n\nThis is how I want my tax money spent. Downloaded and put up in my office!", ">\n\nThe regional social media guy who put this together is constantly hilarious", ">\n\nGreatest calendar of 2023.", ">\n\nI need one of these for my office! I've worked on some of these dams!", ">\n\nCan I ask you some dam questions?? I’m sure you know a lot of dam information. I’m sure all of us would love some dam stories. Thank you.", ">\n\nSure way to have a more interesting calendar than just infrastructure.", ">\n\nI would so adopt one if they existed.", ">\n\nI've heard army corps of engineers are very difficult to house train. May want to consider before adopting one.", ">\n\nTouché.", ">\n\nThat's amazing, thank you for posting it!", ">\n\nIs there anywhere to buy a nice physical copy of the calendar?", ">\n\nThose cats are mind-controlled by taxoplasmosis alien ameobas!", ">\n\nI was thinking this was gonna be mountain lions taking out maintenance huts or something like that. This is so much better", ">\n\nI’m the daughter of a former Portland, Oregon, US Army Corps Engineer, and I can confirm they are a strange crew. It makes me view the dams on the Columbia River fondly?", ">\n\nI love this so much.", ">\n\nDude. Awesome.", ">\n\nI love this! My astronomy teacher once did a talk on space cats. It was hysterical. Out of the blue he showed us pictures of space with cats added in. He felt we needed a fun class for laughs. I want this calendar.", ">\n\nThis would be really cool if they got a decent digital artist. But they didn't, they used photoshop about as well as I can.", ">\n\nI think that adds to the charm", ">\n\nDon't even need to see it, where can I buy it", ">\n\nFrom the link - \"Because the Army Corps is a Government Agency, the calendar is in public domain and totally free to download and print\"", ">\n\nThis is so funny, because it’s my Dad’s old workplace (from 1971 until he retired). My father, however, has zero sense of humor so he’d never work on something like this.", ">\n\nI met a guy from the Army Corps of Engineers when I worked for the EPA. Smartest guy I've ever met and the 2nd most hippe like person I've ever met. I'd like to think he had something to do with this idea.", ">\n\nFinally the massive military budget of the US is put to good use.", ">\n\nThis is awesome. I might have to buy one.", ">\n\nNo need. It's free, though you have to print it yourself if you want a physical copy", ">\n\nThis is so adorable! I approve wholeheartedly.", ">\n\nIt's about time.", ">\n\nSappers lead the way", ">\n\nI have so much love for this.", ">\n\nEhisssayons.", ">\n\nLove it.", ">\n\nUnintended benefits of relaxed Marijuana policies :)", ">\n\nUsace has not relaxed cannabis policies. No federal agency has", ">\n\nThey certainly have relaxed policy, even though federal law hasn't changed. It's legal in my state and the current administration has announced they won't be pursuing user level Marijuana charges at the federal level.\nWake up.", ">\n\nUSACE still falls under the same policies as the rest of the army. They're treated as DA civilians, and subject to periodic biochemical testing and the resultant consequences if they pee hot. The army has, and will not in the foreseeable future, relax any policy regarding marijuana.", ">\n\nAdorable idea; wish they had hired someone better at photoshop", ">\n\nIts a free gag calendar that was probably just put together by someone for fun in their spare time. Considering the state of infrastructure in the US I don't imagine the Corps of Engineers has a lot of extra spending money to throw around", ">\n\nIf they were smart, they would print it for us and sell it. I don't want a crappy calender that I printed on regular paper, I want the real thing and I would be glad to pay for it.", ">\n\nGenius!! This needs to be a trend. Reddit, make it so...", ">\n\nfuck yeah we finally gonna balance the budget", ">\n\nDecember's hilarious. I want this calender.", ">\n\nYou can totally tell that this is not real. The lighting on the cats is so obviously different than the environmental mistake. Pathetic effort infrastructure geeks.", ">\n\nSo they can blame cats for shoddy workmanship and lax maintenance.", ">\n\nDon't capitalize \"Of\" in titles", ">\n\nWish they'd focus on not taking eight years to permit a fucking project, those lazy excuses for engineers.", ">\n\nYou’re crazy dude. These peeps have built some amazing things. Extremely impressive.", ">\n\nThey used to.", ">\n\n😂", ">\n\nThis whole absurd thing is exactly my sense of humour. LOVE it.", ">\n\nOregon! I've seen the one at Detroit Dam. Sneaky bugger. Hangs out with Bigfoot.", ">\n\nI need this", ">\n\nThat's some adorable terrorism right there.", ">\n\nI remember seeing them, on quad bikes, with a lot of equipment, on Myrtle Beach beaches, I always wondered what they were doing...", ">\n\nI love this sequel to Beginning of the End!", ">\n\nIs there a way I can buy a physical version?", ">\n\nThey're Demo-cats!", ">\n\nAny recommendations of the best way to get this printed semi-professionally? I tried checking Costco photo centre but they make you use a template.", ">\n\nOf course it’s Portland.", ">\n\nKind of disappointing I can't actually buy a printed one. My daughter would love this.", ">\n\nA pretty good idea for a poster. Who doesn't like cats being cats?", ">\n\nI really wish I had become a part of the ACOE but my mother didn't want her only son in the military.", ">\n\nUsace has civilian positions you're employed by the army, but you don't go through basic", ">\n\nI hope they pay more than Nidec.", ">\n\nThanks for sharing! Downloaded and got my new Lock Screen wallpaper.", ">\n\nDecember is 🔥", ">\n\nObligatory Cat Dynamics", ">\n\nPoliticians will say this is the proof of the REAL reason of why our infrastructure is deteriorating, then vote in a measure to hire their friends and family to counter this threat.", ">\n\nI didnt know cats were domestic terrorists like Republicans. lol", ">\n\nThis is the only kind of apocalypse I could see myself getting excited about.", ">\n\nAugust a missed opportunity to have CAT Excavators.", ">\n\nYou have my attention.", ">\n\nSmart move", ">\n\nGod help us.", ">\n\nBest thing to come out of the Army post WWII.", ">\n\n🤔", ">\n\n\"Let's write a two paragraph article about something freely available on the internet and make absolutely no attempt to actually tell you where to find it\".", ">\n\nCatjira!", ">\n\nhilarious!" ]

[ "Imagine the work order. \nYour boss comes to you and says, \"Hey, you're in charge of the cats calendar.\"\n\"What calendar?\"\n\"The one with cats attacking infrastructure?\"\n\"What?\"", ">\n\nyou miss ONE day...", ">\n\nHail Vectron!", ">\n\nBy Vectron!", ">\n\nFor those yet to experience the holy might of Vectron's kindly claw", ">\n\nThank you. I had no idea.", ">\n\nYou are most welcome by Vectron", ">\n\nFor the love of all that is Vectron, your speech warms my Vectronic heart.", ">\n\nMay Vectron’s beard shed its benevolence upon us. 🙏🏻🙏🏻", ">\n\nAnd may all of his correspondence to us be sent Vectronically. So it is written, so shall it be done.", ">\n\nI live in Oregon and started to recognize a bunch of the dams, so I was like, “huh, that’s kinda cool.” Then I saw the text at the bottom of the first page. Portland District. Now a cat calendar makes perfect sense.", ">\n\nSame thing happened to me. I think I'm going to head to kinko's and have them print it out for me.", ">\n\nTell them you need to print some important official military documents before you show them what it is", ">\n\nDon’t forget to tell them you need it right meow!", ">\n\nWho will protect our infrastructure from this menace?", ">\n\nAn array of laser pointers.", ">\n\ncut to giant laser pointer satellite", ">\n\nomigod the jewish space lasers were real", ">\n\n*meowish space lasers", ">\n\nHey that's racist", ">\n\nI think it would be cheaper to buy a calendar than use the ink/toner required to print it.", ">\n\nThat's why you print it at work.", ">\n\nhaha true, oh wait I work from home...", ">\n\nIf you print from home for work you can write printer supplies off on your taxes :)", ">\n\nUh yes boss I needed a calendar, so… oh what? Use the company one? Ummm but the US army has a really nice one and I thought I’d be patriotic - what? Oh, yeah I know we’re in Canada, I just…", ">\n\nPortland is pretty much wannabe Vancouver, BC. I say it goes!", ">\n\nExactly what a Canadian would say...", ">\n\nGoodies, goodie goodie, yum yum.", ">\n\nI just scrolled until I found The Goodies reference but was wondering if I was going to find one at all.", ">\n\nIt's way down the list, isn't it? \n/knees hurt.", ">\n\nOw, my back! Get off my lawn!", ">\n\nOne engineer did it in his free time, and released it for use through the corps. \nThis was NOT government funded.", ">\n\nEven if it was government funded, I support this.", ">\n\nEven if it was government funded it would've been like maybe one day of pay at most? Not a ton for the amount of publicity they'll get that might make them even more money.", ">\n\nAssuming they already have the infrastructure pictures I would be surprised if it took more than 4 work hours. Also for chronically underfunded agencies that kind of PR is exactly how you get voters to convince the politicians to increase funds. I look forward to NASA figuring out how to photoshop giant cats playing with the planets like balls of yarn for their calendar", ">\n\n\nI look forward to NASA figuring out how to photoshop giant cats playing with the planets like balls of yarn for their calendar \n\nWell let me introduce you to the most bizarre social media messaging from an official U.S. government agency: The U.S. Consumer Product Safety Commission's Instagram feed. \nAnd before I catch any \"there's no way this is real\" replies, here's the Washington Post covering it: \n\nHow a federal bureaucrat uses astronaut babies and dogs riding pigeons to try to save your life", ">\n\nThis is rad!", ">\n\nCISA losing their shit rn", ">\n\nI would like one.", ">\n\nIt's a free PDF.", ">\n\nNo he would like one of the cats", ">\n\nyOu wOuLdN'T DoWnloAd a cAT", ">\n\nI can’t believe they included Sherlock getting knocked off a cliff. At least he didn’t jump this time.", ">\n\nI'm shocked that you're the only person I've seen comment on this so far! it's hilarious", ">\n\n\"Every year, dozens of cats attack important infrastructure for our country causing dozens of dollars of damage. Won't you help?\"", ">\n\nI heard this with Sarah McLoughlin's voice", ">\n\nArmy Cats", ">\n\nNow do it with pictures of our crumbling infrastructure.", ">\n\nThis seems like one of those things that is somehow going to age poorly given our Universe's current sense of irony. I don't know how exactly, but there's going to be some mass tragedy involving cats and a suspension bridge or something this year.", ">\n\nThe first image kind of reads like \"this infrastructure is super important so don't damage it\". The calendar almost seems like a shopping list for domestic terrorists or something lol.", ">\n\nI mean, pretty obvious that dams, substations, bridges and the like are good targets for chaos. Google maps gives you all this plus Police stations and everything, with photos and the address. Useless to worry about it", ">\n\nSeriously, anyone who unironicly think terrorists were waiting for a cat calendar to list a bunch of locations to bomb is paranoid about the wrong things.", ">\n\nCats would hunt and eat us if they were bigger than us", ">\n\nThey already do, they are called Tigers.", ">\n\nIf there were smaller tigers, we would keep them as pets, but they'd break all our stuff to prove they're still in charge.", ">\n\nThey already do, they are called Cats.", ">\n\nOH MY GOD!", ">\n\nMy tabby is a cute little tiger", ">\n\nI knew we had infrastructure challenges, but I didn't realize we were facing an infrastructure cat-astrophe!", ">\n\nTake my r/angryupvote", ">\n\nI love how shitty the photoshop is. Really ties it all together", ">\n\nYeah I like the idea--but the pictures chosen and color grading are all off. I'd like this idea better executed more professionally.", ">\n\nOh no I'm serious. The unprofessionalism is the best part. I would absolutely pay money for this", ">\n\nOnly only thing weirder is gonna be their crazy ass plan to save the infrastructure.", ">\n\nIt's the engineer Corp, they can build giant cat carriers.", ">\n\nI guess anything beats the 40 million they spend on viagra to keep the soldiers saluting.", ">\n\nThis is delightful", ">\n\ni was imagining mountain lions breaking in to dumpsters or something, not giant house cats gnawing on substations, not disappointed.", ">\n\nI don’t need a calendar now that our pocket rectangles handle all of that for us, but I really want this calendar.", ">\n\nIt is really convenient to just walk by my schedule versus having to pull it up, scroll, click and expand. I tend to forget about things if I don’t see it in front of me, but that’s just how my brain works. Plus if you’re on the phone trying to schedule something it’s nice to write it out too.", ">\n\nI'm sorry, we're already booked for giant spiders.", ">\n\nI personally kinda love this.", ">\n\nBest use of a miniscule amount of our tax dollars in the entire US $1.7T budget. US Army Corp wins the internet today!", ">\n\nHonestly, the entire army corps of engineers may be one of highest rates of return on public good vs funding", ">\n\nSeriously. They do a shit ton of quality and important public work on a relatively shoe-string budget for engineering. I have a lot of respect for the people that work at the USACOE.", ">\n\nSeptember, now that one is art", ">\n\nHaters will say it's Photoshop.", ">\n\nThey’ve never seen Catzilla.", ">\n\nHero of the Week! Hail yourself!", ">\n\nThere it is!", ">\n\n\nThe Army Corps Of Engineers Has Released a 2023 Calendar Of Giant Cats Attacking <\n\nr/brand new sentence \nAlso, giant cats attacking infrastructure is so 2020. In 2023 it just sounds silly.", ">\n\nSeptember ❤️", ">\n\nOmg. I love this. Especially the text blurbs on the pictures. Very funny and adorable!", ">\n\nSounds like they understand cats are required if you want social media traction", ">\n\nI have never wanted to buy a calendar more than I do now!", ">\n\nOn the one hand, I applaud the idea.\nOn the other hand, the photoshop skills look like they came from the army corps of engineers.", ">\n\nWould you actually want them to look like they were perfectly matched to each environment? I'm pretty sure the comedic effect is all that matters here.\nAnd besides, it was just one engineer that created this on their spare time, rather than an official ACE production.", ">\n\nI was mainly being a bit snarky because the internet. That, and what I said was objectively true.", ">\n\nCan confirm, the Corps of Engineers fuckkkkks", ">\n\nGoddammit I just bought my 2023 calendar too lol", ">\n\nThat’s cute though, not worrisome like a lot of other r/nottheonion posts.", ">\n\nAs ever, the Army Corps of Engineers are the one branch of the US state that can get the important shit done", ">\n\nFrom the comments ITT it's evident that most people are unaware of how important they are to the lives of the majority of productive people in this country (people who live near a coastline or a major body of water). It's not just dams and rivers, it's the actual physical coastline of america that they look after.", ">\n\nYup, it seems double edged- people think oh, they're the army corps and assumes they must be doing only military stuff. But equally if it was civilianised no doubt it'd be a target for cuts. An incredible org, regardless. And whether it's cats or weather or warming or the collapse of neglected infrastructure they're going to get more and more important so it's a damn good thing they exist because in 2023, nobody would invent them...", ">\n\nUSACE is an agency that is funded by the DOD but is vastly ran by civilians. There are very few enlisted or commissioned people in the army corps.", ">\n\nOK this is a thing and this is awesome", ">\n\nOops, I had \"Zombie Redneck Torture Family\" in the betting pool.", ">\n\nGrumble. Never gonna see a merman...", ">\n\nUSACE Portland District is one of the absolute best public sector social media presences out there. Seriously. Check it out.", ">\n\nCats in military pictures is an entire IG channel", ">\n\nGood boot", ">\n\nCommand team must be TDY", ">\n\nThat was even better than the title made me think it would be.", ">\n\nI support my tax dollars going to causes such as this.", ">\n\nFinally tax dollars doing something good", ">\n\nI’m kind of disappointed. From the title, I thought there would be photos of actual big cats attacking infrastructure, not photoshopped domestic cats. Anyone have a photo of a puma going after an electrical substation? Or a tiger gnawing on a water line?", ">\n\nNo. No one has that. Would be very interesting though to compile a calendar like that. Peace brother.", ">\n\nGreat, now I need a color printer.\nSeriously, thank you u/radioman8414!", ">\n\nThis is how I want my tax money spent. Downloaded and put up in my office!", ">\n\nThe regional social media guy who put this together is constantly hilarious", ">\n\nGreatest calendar of 2023.", ">\n\nI need one of these for my office! I've worked on some of these dams!", ">\n\nCan I ask you some dam questions?? I’m sure you know a lot of dam information. I’m sure all of us would love some dam stories. Thank you.", ">\n\nSure way to have a more interesting calendar than just infrastructure.", ">\n\nI would so adopt one if they existed.", ">\n\nI've heard army corps of engineers are very difficult to house train. May want to consider before adopting one.", ">\n\nTouché.", ">\n\nThat's amazing, thank you for posting it!", ">\n\nIs there anywhere to buy a nice physical copy of the calendar?", ">\n\nThose cats are mind-controlled by taxoplasmosis alien ameobas!", ">\n\nI was thinking this was gonna be mountain lions taking out maintenance huts or something like that. This is so much better", ">\n\nI’m the daughter of a former Portland, Oregon, US Army Corps Engineer, and I can confirm they are a strange crew. It makes me view the dams on the Columbia River fondly?", ">\n\nI love this so much.", ">\n\nDude. Awesome.", ">\n\nI love this! My astronomy teacher once did a talk on space cats. It was hysterical. Out of the blue he showed us pictures of space with cats added in. He felt we needed a fun class for laughs. I want this calendar.", ">\n\nThis would be really cool if they got a decent digital artist. But they didn't, they used photoshop about as well as I can.", ">\n\nI think that adds to the charm", ">\n\nDon't even need to see it, where can I buy it", ">\n\nFrom the link - \"Because the Army Corps is a Government Agency, the calendar is in public domain and totally free to download and print\"", ">\n\nThis is so funny, because it’s my Dad’s old workplace (from 1971 until he retired). My father, however, has zero sense of humor so he’d never work on something like this.", ">\n\nI met a guy from the Army Corps of Engineers when I worked for the EPA. Smartest guy I've ever met and the 2nd most hippe like person I've ever met. I'd like to think he had something to do with this idea.", ">\n\nFinally the massive military budget of the US is put to good use.", ">\n\nThis is awesome. I might have to buy one.", ">\n\nNo need. It's free, though you have to print it yourself if you want a physical copy", ">\n\nThis is so adorable! I approve wholeheartedly.", ">\n\nIt's about time.", ">\n\nSappers lead the way", ">\n\nI have so much love for this.", ">\n\nEhisssayons.", ">\n\nLove it.", ">\n\nUnintended benefits of relaxed Marijuana policies :)", ">\n\nUsace has not relaxed cannabis policies. No federal agency has", ">\n\nThey certainly have relaxed policy, even though federal law hasn't changed. It's legal in my state and the current administration has announced they won't be pursuing user level Marijuana charges at the federal level.\nWake up.", ">\n\nUSACE still falls under the same policies as the rest of the army. They're treated as DA civilians, and subject to periodic biochemical testing and the resultant consequences if they pee hot. The army has, and will not in the foreseeable future, relax any policy regarding marijuana.", ">\n\nAdorable idea; wish they had hired someone better at photoshop", ">\n\nIts a free gag calendar that was probably just put together by someone for fun in their spare time. Considering the state of infrastructure in the US I don't imagine the Corps of Engineers has a lot of extra spending money to throw around", ">\n\nIf they were smart, they would print it for us and sell it. I don't want a crappy calender that I printed on regular paper, I want the real thing and I would be glad to pay for it.", ">\n\nGenius!! This needs to be a trend. Reddit, make it so...", ">\n\nfuck yeah we finally gonna balance the budget", ">\n\nDecember's hilarious. I want this calender.", ">\n\nYou can totally tell that this is not real. The lighting on the cats is so obviously different than the environmental mistake. Pathetic effort infrastructure geeks.", ">\n\nSo they can blame cats for shoddy workmanship and lax maintenance.", ">\n\nDon't capitalize \"Of\" in titles", ">\n\nWish they'd focus on not taking eight years to permit a fucking project, those lazy excuses for engineers.", ">\n\nYou’re crazy dude. These peeps have built some amazing things. Extremely impressive.", ">\n\nThey used to.", ">\n\n😂", ">\n\nThis whole absurd thing is exactly my sense of humour. LOVE it.", ">\n\nOregon! I've seen the one at Detroit Dam. Sneaky bugger. Hangs out with Bigfoot.", ">\n\nI need this", ">\n\nThat's some adorable terrorism right there.", ">\n\nI remember seeing them, on quad bikes, with a lot of equipment, on Myrtle Beach beaches, I always wondered what they were doing...", ">\n\nI love this sequel to Beginning of the End!", ">\n\nIs there a way I can buy a physical version?", ">\n\nThey're Demo-cats!", ">\n\nAny recommendations of the best way to get this printed semi-professionally? I tried checking Costco photo centre but they make you use a template.", ">\n\nOf course it’s Portland.", ">\n\nKind of disappointing I can't actually buy a printed one. My daughter would love this.", ">\n\nA pretty good idea for a poster. Who doesn't like cats being cats?", ">\n\nI really wish I had become a part of the ACOE but my mother didn't want her only son in the military.", ">\n\nUsace has civilian positions you're employed by the army, but you don't go through basic", ">\n\nI hope they pay more than Nidec.", ">\n\nThanks for sharing! Downloaded and got my new Lock Screen wallpaper.", ">\n\nDecember is 🔥", ">\n\nObligatory Cat Dynamics", ">\n\nPoliticians will say this is the proof of the REAL reason of why our infrastructure is deteriorating, then vote in a measure to hire their friends and family to counter this threat.", ">\n\nI didnt know cats were domestic terrorists like Republicans. lol", ">\n\nThis is the only kind of apocalypse I could see myself getting excited about.", ">\n\nAugust a missed opportunity to have CAT Excavators.", ">\n\nYou have my attention.", ">\n\nSmart move", ">\n\nGod help us.", ">\n\nBest thing to come out of the Army post WWII.", ">\n\n🤔", ">\n\n\"Let's write a two paragraph article about something freely available on the internet and make absolutely no attempt to actually tell you where to find it\".", ">\n\nCatjira!", ">\n\nhilarious!", ">\n\nFinally" ]

[ "Imagine the work order. \nYour boss comes to you and says, \"Hey, you're in charge of the cats calendar.\"\n\"What calendar?\"\n\"The one with cats attacking infrastructure?\"\n\"What?\"", ">\n\nyou miss ONE day...", ">\n\nHail Vectron!", ">\n\nBy Vectron!", ">\n\nFor those yet to experience the holy might of Vectron's kindly claw", ">\n\nThank you. I had no idea.", ">\n\nYou are most welcome by Vectron", ">\n\nFor the love of all that is Vectron, your speech warms my Vectronic heart.", ">\n\nMay Vectron’s beard shed its benevolence upon us. 🙏🏻🙏🏻", ">\n\nAnd may all of his correspondence to us be sent Vectronically. So it is written, so shall it be done.", ">\n\nI live in Oregon and started to recognize a bunch of the dams, so I was like, “huh, that’s kinda cool.” Then I saw the text at the bottom of the first page. Portland District. Now a cat calendar makes perfect sense.", ">\n\nSame thing happened to me. I think I'm going to head to kinko's and have them print it out for me.", ">\n\nTell them you need to print some important official military documents before you show them what it is", ">\n\nDon’t forget to tell them you need it right meow!", ">\n\nWho will protect our infrastructure from this menace?", ">\n\nAn array of laser pointers.", ">\n\ncut to giant laser pointer satellite", ">\n\nomigod the jewish space lasers were real", ">\n\n*meowish space lasers", ">\n\nHey that's racist", ">\n\nI think it would be cheaper to buy a calendar than use the ink/toner required to print it.", ">\n\nThat's why you print it at work.", ">\n\nhaha true, oh wait I work from home...", ">\n\nIf you print from home for work you can write printer supplies off on your taxes :)", ">\n\nUh yes boss I needed a calendar, so… oh what? Use the company one? Ummm but the US army has a really nice one and I thought I’d be patriotic - what? Oh, yeah I know we’re in Canada, I just…", ">\n\nPortland is pretty much wannabe Vancouver, BC. I say it goes!", ">\n\nExactly what a Canadian would say...", ">\n\nGoodies, goodie goodie, yum yum.", ">\n\nI just scrolled until I found The Goodies reference but was wondering if I was going to find one at all.", ">\n\nIt's way down the list, isn't it? \n/knees hurt.", ">\n\nOw, my back! Get off my lawn!", ">\n\nOne engineer did it in his free time, and released it for use through the corps. \nThis was NOT government funded.", ">\n\nEven if it was government funded, I support this.", ">\n\nEven if it was government funded it would've been like maybe one day of pay at most? Not a ton for the amount of publicity they'll get that might make them even more money.", ">\n\nAssuming they already have the infrastructure pictures I would be surprised if it took more than 4 work hours. Also for chronically underfunded agencies that kind of PR is exactly how you get voters to convince the politicians to increase funds. I look forward to NASA figuring out how to photoshop giant cats playing with the planets like balls of yarn for their calendar", ">\n\n\nI look forward to NASA figuring out how to photoshop giant cats playing with the planets like balls of yarn for their calendar \n\nWell let me introduce you to the most bizarre social media messaging from an official U.S. government agency: The U.S. Consumer Product Safety Commission's Instagram feed. \nAnd before I catch any \"there's no way this is real\" replies, here's the Washington Post covering it: \n\nHow a federal bureaucrat uses astronaut babies and dogs riding pigeons to try to save your life", ">\n\nThis is rad!", ">\n\nCISA losing their shit rn", ">\n\nI would like one.", ">\n\nIt's a free PDF.", ">\n\nNo he would like one of the cats", ">\n\nyOu wOuLdN'T DoWnloAd a cAT", ">\n\nI can’t believe they included Sherlock getting knocked off a cliff. At least he didn’t jump this time.", ">\n\nI'm shocked that you're the only person I've seen comment on this so far! it's hilarious", ">\n\n\"Every year, dozens of cats attack important infrastructure for our country causing dozens of dollars of damage. Won't you help?\"", ">\n\nI heard this with Sarah McLoughlin's voice", ">\n\nArmy Cats", ">\n\nNow do it with pictures of our crumbling infrastructure.", ">\n\nThis seems like one of those things that is somehow going to age poorly given our Universe's current sense of irony. I don't know how exactly, but there's going to be some mass tragedy involving cats and a suspension bridge or something this year.", ">\n\nThe first image kind of reads like \"this infrastructure is super important so don't damage it\". The calendar almost seems like a shopping list for domestic terrorists or something lol.", ">\n\nI mean, pretty obvious that dams, substations, bridges and the like are good targets for chaos. Google maps gives you all this plus Police stations and everything, with photos and the address. Useless to worry about it", ">\n\nSeriously, anyone who unironicly think terrorists were waiting for a cat calendar to list a bunch of locations to bomb is paranoid about the wrong things.", ">\n\nCats would hunt and eat us if they were bigger than us", ">\n\nThey already do, they are called Tigers.", ">\n\nIf there were smaller tigers, we would keep them as pets, but they'd break all our stuff to prove they're still in charge.", ">\n\nThey already do, they are called Cats.", ">\n\nOH MY GOD!", ">\n\nMy tabby is a cute little tiger", ">\n\nI knew we had infrastructure challenges, but I didn't realize we were facing an infrastructure cat-astrophe!", ">\n\nTake my r/angryupvote", ">\n\nI love how shitty the photoshop is. Really ties it all together", ">\n\nYeah I like the idea--but the pictures chosen and color grading are all off. I'd like this idea better executed more professionally.", ">\n\nOh no I'm serious. The unprofessionalism is the best part. I would absolutely pay money for this", ">\n\nOnly only thing weirder is gonna be their crazy ass plan to save the infrastructure.", ">\n\nIt's the engineer Corp, they can build giant cat carriers.", ">\n\nI guess anything beats the 40 million they spend on viagra to keep the soldiers saluting.", ">\n\nThis is delightful", ">\n\ni was imagining mountain lions breaking in to dumpsters or something, not giant house cats gnawing on substations, not disappointed.", ">\n\nI don’t need a calendar now that our pocket rectangles handle all of that for us, but I really want this calendar.", ">\n\nIt is really convenient to just walk by my schedule versus having to pull it up, scroll, click and expand. I tend to forget about things if I don’t see it in front of me, but that’s just how my brain works. Plus if you’re on the phone trying to schedule something it’s nice to write it out too.", ">\n\nI'm sorry, we're already booked for giant spiders.", ">\n\nI personally kinda love this.", ">\n\nBest use of a miniscule amount of our tax dollars in the entire US $1.7T budget. US Army Corp wins the internet today!", ">\n\nHonestly, the entire army corps of engineers may be one of highest rates of return on public good vs funding", ">\n\nSeriously. They do a shit ton of quality and important public work on a relatively shoe-string budget for engineering. I have a lot of respect for the people that work at the USACOE.", ">\n\nSeptember, now that one is art", ">\n\nHaters will say it's Photoshop.", ">\n\nThey’ve never seen Catzilla.", ">\n\nHero of the Week! Hail yourself!", ">\n\nThere it is!", ">\n\n\nThe Army Corps Of Engineers Has Released a 2023 Calendar Of Giant Cats Attacking <\n\nr/brand new sentence \nAlso, giant cats attacking infrastructure is so 2020. In 2023 it just sounds silly.", ">\n\nSeptember ❤️", ">\n\nOmg. I love this. Especially the text blurbs on the pictures. Very funny and adorable!", ">\n\nSounds like they understand cats are required if you want social media traction", ">\n\nI have never wanted to buy a calendar more than I do now!", ">\n\nOn the one hand, I applaud the idea.\nOn the other hand, the photoshop skills look like they came from the army corps of engineers.", ">\n\nWould you actually want them to look like they were perfectly matched to each environment? I'm pretty sure the comedic effect is all that matters here.\nAnd besides, it was just one engineer that created this on their spare time, rather than an official ACE production.", ">\n\nI was mainly being a bit snarky because the internet. That, and what I said was objectively true.", ">\n\nCan confirm, the Corps of Engineers fuckkkkks", ">\n\nGoddammit I just bought my 2023 calendar too lol", ">\n\nThat’s cute though, not worrisome like a lot of other r/nottheonion posts.", ">\n\nAs ever, the Army Corps of Engineers are the one branch of the US state that can get the important shit done", ">\n\nFrom the comments ITT it's evident that most people are unaware of how important they are to the lives of the majority of productive people in this country (people who live near a coastline or a major body of water). It's not just dams and rivers, it's the actual physical coastline of america that they look after.", ">\n\nYup, it seems double edged- people think oh, they're the army corps and assumes they must be doing only military stuff. But equally if it was civilianised no doubt it'd be a target for cuts. An incredible org, regardless. And whether it's cats or weather or warming or the collapse of neglected infrastructure they're going to get more and more important so it's a damn good thing they exist because in 2023, nobody would invent them...", ">\n\nUSACE is an agency that is funded by the DOD but is vastly ran by civilians. There are very few enlisted or commissioned people in the army corps.", ">\n\nOK this is a thing and this is awesome", ">\n\nOops, I had \"Zombie Redneck Torture Family\" in the betting pool.", ">\n\nGrumble. Never gonna see a merman...", ">\n\nUSACE Portland District is one of the absolute best public sector social media presences out there. Seriously. Check it out.", ">\n\nCats in military pictures is an entire IG channel", ">\n\nGood boot", ">\n\nCommand team must be TDY", ">\n\nThat was even better than the title made me think it would be.", ">\n\nI support my tax dollars going to causes such as this.", ">\n\nFinally tax dollars doing something good", ">\n\nI’m kind of disappointed. From the title, I thought there would be photos of actual big cats attacking infrastructure, not photoshopped domestic cats. Anyone have a photo of a puma going after an electrical substation? Or a tiger gnawing on a water line?", ">\n\nNo. No one has that. Would be very interesting though to compile a calendar like that. Peace brother.", ">\n\nGreat, now I need a color printer.\nSeriously, thank you u/radioman8414!", ">\n\nThis is how I want my tax money spent. Downloaded and put up in my office!", ">\n\nThe regional social media guy who put this together is constantly hilarious", ">\n\nGreatest calendar of 2023.", ">\n\nI need one of these for my office! I've worked on some of these dams!", ">\n\nCan I ask you some dam questions?? I’m sure you know a lot of dam information. I’m sure all of us would love some dam stories. Thank you.", ">\n\nSure way to have a more interesting calendar than just infrastructure.", ">\n\nI would so adopt one if they existed.", ">\n\nI've heard army corps of engineers are very difficult to house train. May want to consider before adopting one.", ">\n\nTouché.", ">\n\nThat's amazing, thank you for posting it!", ">\n\nIs there anywhere to buy a nice physical copy of the calendar?", ">\n\nThose cats are mind-controlled by taxoplasmosis alien ameobas!", ">\n\nI was thinking this was gonna be mountain lions taking out maintenance huts or something like that. This is so much better", ">\n\nI’m the daughter of a former Portland, Oregon, US Army Corps Engineer, and I can confirm they are a strange crew. It makes me view the dams on the Columbia River fondly?", ">\n\nI love this so much.", ">\n\nDude. Awesome.", ">\n\nI love this! My astronomy teacher once did a talk on space cats. It was hysterical. Out of the blue he showed us pictures of space with cats added in. He felt we needed a fun class for laughs. I want this calendar.", ">\n\nThis would be really cool if they got a decent digital artist. But they didn't, they used photoshop about as well as I can.", ">\n\nI think that adds to the charm", ">\n\nDon't even need to see it, where can I buy it", ">\n\nFrom the link - \"Because the Army Corps is a Government Agency, the calendar is in public domain and totally free to download and print\"", ">\n\nThis is so funny, because it’s my Dad’s old workplace (from 1971 until he retired). My father, however, has zero sense of humor so he’d never work on something like this.", ">\n\nI met a guy from the Army Corps of Engineers when I worked for the EPA. Smartest guy I've ever met and the 2nd most hippe like person I've ever met. I'd like to think he had something to do with this idea.", ">\n\nFinally the massive military budget of the US is put to good use.", ">\n\nThis is awesome. I might have to buy one.", ">\n\nNo need. It's free, though you have to print it yourself if you want a physical copy", ">\n\nThis is so adorable! I approve wholeheartedly.", ">\n\nIt's about time.", ">\n\nSappers lead the way", ">\n\nI have so much love for this.", ">\n\nEhisssayons.", ">\n\nLove it.", ">\n\nUnintended benefits of relaxed Marijuana policies :)", ">\n\nUsace has not relaxed cannabis policies. No federal agency has", ">\n\nThey certainly have relaxed policy, even though federal law hasn't changed. It's legal in my state and the current administration has announced they won't be pursuing user level Marijuana charges at the federal level.\nWake up.", ">\n\nUSACE still falls under the same policies as the rest of the army. They're treated as DA civilians, and subject to periodic biochemical testing and the resultant consequences if they pee hot. The army has, and will not in the foreseeable future, relax any policy regarding marijuana.", ">\n\nAdorable idea; wish they had hired someone better at photoshop", ">\n\nIts a free gag calendar that was probably just put together by someone for fun in their spare time. Considering the state of infrastructure in the US I don't imagine the Corps of Engineers has a lot of extra spending money to throw around", ">\n\nIf they were smart, they would print it for us and sell it. I don't want a crappy calender that I printed on regular paper, I want the real thing and I would be glad to pay for it.", ">\n\nGenius!! This needs to be a trend. Reddit, make it so...", ">\n\nfuck yeah we finally gonna balance the budget", ">\n\nDecember's hilarious. I want this calender.", ">\n\nYou can totally tell that this is not real. The lighting on the cats is so obviously different than the environmental mistake. Pathetic effort infrastructure geeks.", ">\n\nSo they can blame cats for shoddy workmanship and lax maintenance.", ">\n\nDon't capitalize \"Of\" in titles", ">\n\nWish they'd focus on not taking eight years to permit a fucking project, those lazy excuses for engineers.", ">\n\nYou’re crazy dude. These peeps have built some amazing things. Extremely impressive.", ">\n\nThey used to.", ">\n\n😂", ">\n\nThis whole absurd thing is exactly my sense of humour. LOVE it.", ">\n\nOregon! I've seen the one at Detroit Dam. Sneaky bugger. Hangs out with Bigfoot.", ">\n\nI need this", ">\n\nThat's some adorable terrorism right there.", ">\n\nI remember seeing them, on quad bikes, with a lot of equipment, on Myrtle Beach beaches, I always wondered what they were doing...", ">\n\nI love this sequel to Beginning of the End!", ">\n\nIs there a way I can buy a physical version?", ">\n\nThey're Demo-cats!", ">\n\nAny recommendations of the best way to get this printed semi-professionally? I tried checking Costco photo centre but they make you use a template.", ">\n\nOf course it’s Portland.", ">\n\nKind of disappointing I can't actually buy a printed one. My daughter would love this.", ">\n\nA pretty good idea for a poster. Who doesn't like cats being cats?", ">\n\nI really wish I had become a part of the ACOE but my mother didn't want her only son in the military.", ">\n\nUsace has civilian positions you're employed by the army, but you don't go through basic", ">\n\nI hope they pay more than Nidec.", ">\n\nThanks for sharing! Downloaded and got my new Lock Screen wallpaper.", ">\n\nDecember is 🔥", ">\n\nObligatory Cat Dynamics", ">\n\nPoliticians will say this is the proof of the REAL reason of why our infrastructure is deteriorating, then vote in a measure to hire their friends and family to counter this threat.", ">\n\nI didnt know cats were domestic terrorists like Republicans. lol", ">\n\nThis is the only kind of apocalypse I could see myself getting excited about.", ">\n\nAugust a missed opportunity to have CAT Excavators.", ">\n\nYou have my attention.", ">\n\nSmart move", ">\n\nGod help us.", ">\n\nBest thing to come out of the Army post WWII.", ">\n\n🤔", ">\n\n\"Let's write a two paragraph article about something freely available on the internet and make absolutely no attempt to actually tell you where to find it\".", ">\n\nCatjira!", ">\n\nhilarious!", ">\n\nFinally", ">\n\nThis is the oniony-est story I’ve seen on here in a while" ]

[ "Imagine the work order. \nYour boss comes to you and says, \"Hey, you're in charge of the cats calendar.\"\n\"What calendar?\"\n\"The one with cats attacking infrastructure?\"\n\"What?\"", ">\n\nyou miss ONE day...", ">\n\nHail Vectron!", ">\n\nBy Vectron!", ">\n\nFor those yet to experience the holy might of Vectron's kindly claw", ">\n\nThank you. I had no idea.", ">\n\nYou are most welcome by Vectron", ">\n\nFor the love of all that is Vectron, your speech warms my Vectronic heart.", ">\n\nMay Vectron’s beard shed its benevolence upon us. 🙏🏻🙏🏻", ">\n\nAnd may all of his correspondence to us be sent Vectronically. So it is written, so shall it be done.", ">\n\nI live in Oregon and started to recognize a bunch of the dams, so I was like, “huh, that’s kinda cool.” Then I saw the text at the bottom of the first page. Portland District. Now a cat calendar makes perfect sense.", ">\n\nSame thing happened to me. I think I'm going to head to kinko's and have them print it out for me.", ">\n\nTell them you need to print some important official military documents before you show them what it is", ">\n\nDon’t forget to tell them you need it right meow!", ">\n\nWho will protect our infrastructure from this menace?", ">\n\nAn array of laser pointers.", ">\n\ncut to giant laser pointer satellite", ">\n\nomigod the jewish space lasers were real", ">\n\n*meowish space lasers", ">\n\nHey that's racist", ">\n\nI think it would be cheaper to buy a calendar than use the ink/toner required to print it.", ">\n\nThat's why you print it at work.", ">\n\nhaha true, oh wait I work from home...", ">\n\nIf you print from home for work you can write printer supplies off on your taxes :)", ">\n\nUh yes boss I needed a calendar, so… oh what? Use the company one? Ummm but the US army has a really nice one and I thought I’d be patriotic - what? Oh, yeah I know we’re in Canada, I just…", ">\n\nPortland is pretty much wannabe Vancouver, BC. I say it goes!", ">\n\nExactly what a Canadian would say...", ">\n\nGoodies, goodie goodie, yum yum.", ">\n\nI just scrolled until I found The Goodies reference but was wondering if I was going to find one at all.", ">\n\nIt's way down the list, isn't it? \n/knees hurt.", ">\n\nOw, my back! Get off my lawn!", ">\n\nOne engineer did it in his free time, and released it for use through the corps. \nThis was NOT government funded.", ">\n\nEven if it was government funded, I support this.", ">\n\nEven if it was government funded it would've been like maybe one day of pay at most? Not a ton for the amount of publicity they'll get that might make them even more money.", ">\n\nAssuming they already have the infrastructure pictures I would be surprised if it took more than 4 work hours. Also for chronically underfunded agencies that kind of PR is exactly how you get voters to convince the politicians to increase funds. I look forward to NASA figuring out how to photoshop giant cats playing with the planets like balls of yarn for their calendar", ">\n\n\nI look forward to NASA figuring out how to photoshop giant cats playing with the planets like balls of yarn for their calendar \n\nWell let me introduce you to the most bizarre social media messaging from an official U.S. government agency: The U.S. Consumer Product Safety Commission's Instagram feed. \nAnd before I catch any \"there's no way this is real\" replies, here's the Washington Post covering it: \n\nHow a federal bureaucrat uses astronaut babies and dogs riding pigeons to try to save your life", ">\n\nThis is rad!", ">\n\nCISA losing their shit rn", ">\n\nI would like one.", ">\n\nIt's a free PDF.", ">\n\nNo he would like one of the cats", ">\n\nyOu wOuLdN'T DoWnloAd a cAT", ">\n\nI can’t believe they included Sherlock getting knocked off a cliff. At least he didn’t jump this time.", ">\n\nI'm shocked that you're the only person I've seen comment on this so far! it's hilarious", ">\n\n\"Every year, dozens of cats attack important infrastructure for our country causing dozens of dollars of damage. Won't you help?\"", ">\n\nI heard this with Sarah McLoughlin's voice", ">\n\nArmy Cats", ">\n\nNow do it with pictures of our crumbling infrastructure.", ">\n\nThis seems like one of those things that is somehow going to age poorly given our Universe's current sense of irony. I don't know how exactly, but there's going to be some mass tragedy involving cats and a suspension bridge or something this year.", ">\n\nThe first image kind of reads like \"this infrastructure is super important so don't damage it\". The calendar almost seems like a shopping list for domestic terrorists or something lol.", ">\n\nI mean, pretty obvious that dams, substations, bridges and the like are good targets for chaos. Google maps gives you all this plus Police stations and everything, with photos and the address. Useless to worry about it", ">\n\nSeriously, anyone who unironicly think terrorists were waiting for a cat calendar to list a bunch of locations to bomb is paranoid about the wrong things.", ">\n\nCats would hunt and eat us if they were bigger than us", ">\n\nThey already do, they are called Tigers.", ">\n\nIf there were smaller tigers, we would keep them as pets, but they'd break all our stuff to prove they're still in charge.", ">\n\nThey already do, they are called Cats.", ">\n\nOH MY GOD!", ">\n\nMy tabby is a cute little tiger", ">\n\nI knew we had infrastructure challenges, but I didn't realize we were facing an infrastructure cat-astrophe!", ">\n\nTake my r/angryupvote", ">\n\nI love how shitty the photoshop is. Really ties it all together", ">\n\nYeah I like the idea--but the pictures chosen and color grading are all off. I'd like this idea better executed more professionally.", ">\n\nOh no I'm serious. The unprofessionalism is the best part. I would absolutely pay money for this", ">\n\nOnly only thing weirder is gonna be their crazy ass plan to save the infrastructure.", ">\n\nIt's the engineer Corp, they can build giant cat carriers.", ">\n\nI guess anything beats the 40 million they spend on viagra to keep the soldiers saluting.", ">\n\nThis is delightful", ">\n\ni was imagining mountain lions breaking in to dumpsters or something, not giant house cats gnawing on substations, not disappointed.", ">\n\nI don’t need a calendar now that our pocket rectangles handle all of that for us, but I really want this calendar.", ">\n\nIt is really convenient to just walk by my schedule versus having to pull it up, scroll, click and expand. I tend to forget about things if I don’t see it in front of me, but that’s just how my brain works. Plus if you’re on the phone trying to schedule something it’s nice to write it out too.", ">\n\nI'm sorry, we're already booked for giant spiders.", ">\n\nI personally kinda love this.", ">\n\nBest use of a miniscule amount of our tax dollars in the entire US $1.7T budget. US Army Corp wins the internet today!", ">\n\nHonestly, the entire army corps of engineers may be one of highest rates of return on public good vs funding", ">\n\nSeriously. They do a shit ton of quality and important public work on a relatively shoe-string budget for engineering. I have a lot of respect for the people that work at the USACOE.", ">\n\nSeptember, now that one is art", ">\n\nHaters will say it's Photoshop.", ">\n\nThey’ve never seen Catzilla.", ">\n\nHero of the Week! Hail yourself!", ">\n\nThere it is!", ">\n\n\nThe Army Corps Of Engineers Has Released a 2023 Calendar Of Giant Cats Attacking <\n\nr/brand new sentence \nAlso, giant cats attacking infrastructure is so 2020. In 2023 it just sounds silly.", ">\n\nSeptember ❤️", ">\n\nOmg. I love this. Especially the text blurbs on the pictures. Very funny and adorable!", ">\n\nSounds like they understand cats are required if you want social media traction", ">\n\nI have never wanted to buy a calendar more than I do now!", ">\n\nOn the one hand, I applaud the idea.\nOn the other hand, the photoshop skills look like they came from the army corps of engineers.", ">\n\nWould you actually want them to look like they were perfectly matched to each environment? I'm pretty sure the comedic effect is all that matters here.\nAnd besides, it was just one engineer that created this on their spare time, rather than an official ACE production.", ">\n\nI was mainly being a bit snarky because the internet. That, and what I said was objectively true.", ">\n\nCan confirm, the Corps of Engineers fuckkkkks", ">\n\nGoddammit I just bought my 2023 calendar too lol", ">\n\nThat’s cute though, not worrisome like a lot of other r/nottheonion posts.", ">\n\nAs ever, the Army Corps of Engineers are the one branch of the US state that can get the important shit done", ">\n\nFrom the comments ITT it's evident that most people are unaware of how important they are to the lives of the majority of productive people in this country (people who live near a coastline or a major body of water). It's not just dams and rivers, it's the actual physical coastline of america that they look after.", ">\n\nYup, it seems double edged- people think oh, they're the army corps and assumes they must be doing only military stuff. But equally if it was civilianised no doubt it'd be a target for cuts. An incredible org, regardless. And whether it's cats or weather or warming or the collapse of neglected infrastructure they're going to get more and more important so it's a damn good thing they exist because in 2023, nobody would invent them...", ">\n\nUSACE is an agency that is funded by the DOD but is vastly ran by civilians. There are very few enlisted or commissioned people in the army corps.", ">\n\nOK this is a thing and this is awesome", ">\n\nOops, I had \"Zombie Redneck Torture Family\" in the betting pool.", ">\n\nGrumble. Never gonna see a merman...", ">\n\nUSACE Portland District is one of the absolute best public sector social media presences out there. Seriously. Check it out.", ">\n\nCats in military pictures is an entire IG channel", ">\n\nGood boot", ">\n\nCommand team must be TDY", ">\n\nThat was even better than the title made me think it would be.", ">\n\nI support my tax dollars going to causes such as this.", ">\n\nFinally tax dollars doing something good", ">\n\nI’m kind of disappointed. From the title, I thought there would be photos of actual big cats attacking infrastructure, not photoshopped domestic cats. Anyone have a photo of a puma going after an electrical substation? Or a tiger gnawing on a water line?", ">\n\nNo. No one has that. Would be very interesting though to compile a calendar like that. Peace brother.", ">\n\nGreat, now I need a color printer.\nSeriously, thank you u/radioman8414!", ">\n\nThis is how I want my tax money spent. Downloaded and put up in my office!", ">\n\nThe regional social media guy who put this together is constantly hilarious", ">\n\nGreatest calendar of 2023.", ">\n\nI need one of these for my office! I've worked on some of these dams!", ">\n\nCan I ask you some dam questions?? I’m sure you know a lot of dam information. I’m sure all of us would love some dam stories. Thank you.", ">\n\nSure way to have a more interesting calendar than just infrastructure.", ">\n\nI would so adopt one if they existed.", ">\n\nI've heard army corps of engineers are very difficult to house train. May want to consider before adopting one.", ">\n\nTouché.", ">\n\nThat's amazing, thank you for posting it!", ">\n\nIs there anywhere to buy a nice physical copy of the calendar?", ">\n\nThose cats are mind-controlled by taxoplasmosis alien ameobas!", ">\n\nI was thinking this was gonna be mountain lions taking out maintenance huts or something like that. This is so much better", ">\n\nI’m the daughter of a former Portland, Oregon, US Army Corps Engineer, and I can confirm they are a strange crew. It makes me view the dams on the Columbia River fondly?", ">\n\nI love this so much.", ">\n\nDude. Awesome.", ">\n\nI love this! My astronomy teacher once did a talk on space cats. It was hysterical. Out of the blue he showed us pictures of space with cats added in. He felt we needed a fun class for laughs. I want this calendar.", ">\n\nThis would be really cool if they got a decent digital artist. But they didn't, they used photoshop about as well as I can.", ">\n\nI think that adds to the charm", ">\n\nDon't even need to see it, where can I buy it", ">\n\nFrom the link - \"Because the Army Corps is a Government Agency, the calendar is in public domain and totally free to download and print\"", ">\n\nThis is so funny, because it’s my Dad’s old workplace (from 1971 until he retired). My father, however, has zero sense of humor so he’d never work on something like this.", ">\n\nI met a guy from the Army Corps of Engineers when I worked for the EPA. Smartest guy I've ever met and the 2nd most hippe like person I've ever met. I'd like to think he had something to do with this idea.", ">\n\nFinally the massive military budget of the US is put to good use.", ">\n\nThis is awesome. I might have to buy one.", ">\n\nNo need. It's free, though you have to print it yourself if you want a physical copy", ">\n\nThis is so adorable! I approve wholeheartedly.", ">\n\nIt's about time.", ">\n\nSappers lead the way", ">\n\nI have so much love for this.", ">\n\nEhisssayons.", ">\n\nLove it.", ">\n\nUnintended benefits of relaxed Marijuana policies :)", ">\n\nUsace has not relaxed cannabis policies. No federal agency has", ">\n\nThey certainly have relaxed policy, even though federal law hasn't changed. It's legal in my state and the current administration has announced they won't be pursuing user level Marijuana charges at the federal level.\nWake up.", ">\n\nUSACE still falls under the same policies as the rest of the army. They're treated as DA civilians, and subject to periodic biochemical testing and the resultant consequences if they pee hot. The army has, and will not in the foreseeable future, relax any policy regarding marijuana.", ">\n\nAdorable idea; wish they had hired someone better at photoshop", ">\n\nIts a free gag calendar that was probably just put together by someone for fun in their spare time. Considering the state of infrastructure in the US I don't imagine the Corps of Engineers has a lot of extra spending money to throw around", ">\n\nIf they were smart, they would print it for us and sell it. I don't want a crappy calender that I printed on regular paper, I want the real thing and I would be glad to pay for it.", ">\n\nGenius!! This needs to be a trend. Reddit, make it so...", ">\n\nfuck yeah we finally gonna balance the budget", ">\n\nDecember's hilarious. I want this calender.", ">\n\nYou can totally tell that this is not real. The lighting on the cats is so obviously different than the environmental mistake. Pathetic effort infrastructure geeks.", ">\n\nSo they can blame cats for shoddy workmanship and lax maintenance.", ">\n\nDon't capitalize \"Of\" in titles", ">\n\nWish they'd focus on not taking eight years to permit a fucking project, those lazy excuses for engineers.", ">\n\nYou’re crazy dude. These peeps have built some amazing things. Extremely impressive.", ">\n\nThey used to.", ">\n\n😂", ">\n\nThis whole absurd thing is exactly my sense of humour. LOVE it.", ">\n\nOregon! I've seen the one at Detroit Dam. Sneaky bugger. Hangs out with Bigfoot.", ">\n\nI need this", ">\n\nThat's some adorable terrorism right there.", ">\n\nI remember seeing them, on quad bikes, with a lot of equipment, on Myrtle Beach beaches, I always wondered what they were doing...", ">\n\nI love this sequel to Beginning of the End!", ">\n\nIs there a way I can buy a physical version?", ">\n\nThey're Demo-cats!", ">\n\nAny recommendations of the best way to get this printed semi-professionally? I tried checking Costco photo centre but they make you use a template.", ">\n\nOf course it’s Portland.", ">\n\nKind of disappointing I can't actually buy a printed one. My daughter would love this.", ">\n\nA pretty good idea for a poster. Who doesn't like cats being cats?", ">\n\nI really wish I had become a part of the ACOE but my mother didn't want her only son in the military.", ">\n\nUsace has civilian positions you're employed by the army, but you don't go through basic", ">\n\nI hope they pay more than Nidec.", ">\n\nThanks for sharing! Downloaded and got my new Lock Screen wallpaper.", ">\n\nDecember is 🔥", ">\n\nObligatory Cat Dynamics", ">\n\nPoliticians will say this is the proof of the REAL reason of why our infrastructure is deteriorating, then vote in a measure to hire their friends and family to counter this threat.", ">\n\nI didnt know cats were domestic terrorists like Republicans. lol", ">\n\nThis is the only kind of apocalypse I could see myself getting excited about.", ">\n\nAugust a missed opportunity to have CAT Excavators.", ">\n\nYou have my attention.", ">\n\nSmart move", ">\n\nGod help us.", ">\n\nBest thing to come out of the Army post WWII.", ">\n\n🤔", ">\n\n\"Let's write a two paragraph article about something freely available on the internet and make absolutely no attempt to actually tell you where to find it\".", ">\n\nCatjira!", ">\n\nhilarious!", ">\n\nFinally", ">\n\nThis is the oniony-est story I’ve seen on here in a while", ">\n\nCant wait for the next spending bill to include cat proofing our infrastructure" ]

[ "Imagine the work order. \nYour boss comes to you and says, \"Hey, you're in charge of the cats calendar.\"\n\"What calendar?\"\n\"The one with cats attacking infrastructure?\"\n\"What?\"", ">\n\nyou miss ONE day...", ">\n\nHail Vectron!", ">\n\nBy Vectron!", ">\n\nFor those yet to experience the holy might of Vectron's kindly claw", ">\n\nThank you. I had no idea.", ">\n\nYou are most welcome by Vectron", ">\n\nFor the love of all that is Vectron, your speech warms my Vectronic heart.", ">\n\nMay Vectron’s beard shed its benevolence upon us. 🙏🏻🙏🏻", ">\n\nAnd may all of his correspondence to us be sent Vectronically. So it is written, so shall it be done.", ">\n\nI live in Oregon and started to recognize a bunch of the dams, so I was like, “huh, that’s kinda cool.” Then I saw the text at the bottom of the first page. Portland District. Now a cat calendar makes perfect sense.", ">\n\nSame thing happened to me. I think I'm going to head to kinko's and have them print it out for me.", ">\n\nTell them you need to print some important official military documents before you show them what it is", ">\n\nDon’t forget to tell them you need it right meow!", ">\n\nWho will protect our infrastructure from this menace?", ">\n\nAn array of laser pointers.", ">\n\ncut to giant laser pointer satellite", ">\n\nomigod the jewish space lasers were real", ">\n\n*meowish space lasers", ">\n\nHey that's racist", ">\n\nI think it would be cheaper to buy a calendar than use the ink/toner required to print it.", ">\n\nThat's why you print it at work.", ">\n\nhaha true, oh wait I work from home...", ">\n\nIf you print from home for work you can write printer supplies off on your taxes :)", ">\n\nUh yes boss I needed a calendar, so… oh what? Use the company one? Ummm but the US army has a really nice one and I thought I’d be patriotic - what? Oh, yeah I know we’re in Canada, I just…", ">\n\nPortland is pretty much wannabe Vancouver, BC. I say it goes!", ">\n\nExactly what a Canadian would say...", ">\n\nGoodies, goodie goodie, yum yum.", ">\n\nI just scrolled until I found The Goodies reference but was wondering if I was going to find one at all.", ">\n\nIt's way down the list, isn't it? \n/knees hurt.", ">\n\nOw, my back! Get off my lawn!", ">\n\nOne engineer did it in his free time, and released it for use through the corps. \nThis was NOT government funded.", ">\n\nEven if it was government funded, I support this.", ">\n\nEven if it was government funded it would've been like maybe one day of pay at most? Not a ton for the amount of publicity they'll get that might make them even more money.", ">\n\nAssuming they already have the infrastructure pictures I would be surprised if it took more than 4 work hours. Also for chronically underfunded agencies that kind of PR is exactly how you get voters to convince the politicians to increase funds. I look forward to NASA figuring out how to photoshop giant cats playing with the planets like balls of yarn for their calendar", ">\n\n\nI look forward to NASA figuring out how to photoshop giant cats playing with the planets like balls of yarn for their calendar \n\nWell let me introduce you to the most bizarre social media messaging from an official U.S. government agency: The U.S. Consumer Product Safety Commission's Instagram feed. \nAnd before I catch any \"there's no way this is real\" replies, here's the Washington Post covering it: \n\nHow a federal bureaucrat uses astronaut babies and dogs riding pigeons to try to save your life", ">\n\nThis is rad!", ">\n\nCISA losing their shit rn", ">\n\nI would like one.", ">\n\nIt's a free PDF.", ">\n\nNo he would like one of the cats", ">\n\nyOu wOuLdN'T DoWnloAd a cAT", ">\n\nI can’t believe they included Sherlock getting knocked off a cliff. At least he didn’t jump this time.", ">\n\nI'm shocked that you're the only person I've seen comment on this so far! it's hilarious", ">\n\n\"Every year, dozens of cats attack important infrastructure for our country causing dozens of dollars of damage. Won't you help?\"", ">\n\nI heard this with Sarah McLoughlin's voice", ">\n\nArmy Cats", ">\n\nNow do it with pictures of our crumbling infrastructure.", ">\n\nThis seems like one of those things that is somehow going to age poorly given our Universe's current sense of irony. I don't know how exactly, but there's going to be some mass tragedy involving cats and a suspension bridge or something this year.", ">\n\nThe first image kind of reads like \"this infrastructure is super important so don't damage it\". The calendar almost seems like a shopping list for domestic terrorists or something lol.", ">\n\nI mean, pretty obvious that dams, substations, bridges and the like are good targets for chaos. Google maps gives you all this plus Police stations and everything, with photos and the address. Useless to worry about it", ">\n\nSeriously, anyone who unironicly think terrorists were waiting for a cat calendar to list a bunch of locations to bomb is paranoid about the wrong things.", ">\n\nCats would hunt and eat us if they were bigger than us", ">\n\nThey already do, they are called Tigers.", ">\n\nIf there were smaller tigers, we would keep them as pets, but they'd break all our stuff to prove they're still in charge.", ">\n\nThey already do, they are called Cats.", ">\n\nOH MY GOD!", ">\n\nMy tabby is a cute little tiger", ">\n\nI knew we had infrastructure challenges, but I didn't realize we were facing an infrastructure cat-astrophe!", ">\n\nTake my r/angryupvote", ">\n\nI love how shitty the photoshop is. Really ties it all together", ">\n\nYeah I like the idea--but the pictures chosen and color grading are all off. I'd like this idea better executed more professionally.", ">\n\nOh no I'm serious. The unprofessionalism is the best part. I would absolutely pay money for this", ">\n\nOnly only thing weirder is gonna be their crazy ass plan to save the infrastructure.", ">\n\nIt's the engineer Corp, they can build giant cat carriers.", ">\n\nI guess anything beats the 40 million they spend on viagra to keep the soldiers saluting.", ">\n\nThis is delightful", ">\n\ni was imagining mountain lions breaking in to dumpsters or something, not giant house cats gnawing on substations, not disappointed.", ">\n\nI don’t need a calendar now that our pocket rectangles handle all of that for us, but I really want this calendar.", ">\n\nIt is really convenient to just walk by my schedule versus having to pull it up, scroll, click and expand. I tend to forget about things if I don’t see it in front of me, but that’s just how my brain works. Plus if you’re on the phone trying to schedule something it’s nice to write it out too.", ">\n\nI'm sorry, we're already booked for giant spiders.", ">\n\nI personally kinda love this.", ">\n\nBest use of a miniscule amount of our tax dollars in the entire US $1.7T budget. US Army Corp wins the internet today!", ">\n\nHonestly, the entire army corps of engineers may be one of highest rates of return on public good vs funding", ">\n\nSeriously. They do a shit ton of quality and important public work on a relatively shoe-string budget for engineering. I have a lot of respect for the people that work at the USACOE.", ">\n\nSeptember, now that one is art", ">\n\nHaters will say it's Photoshop.", ">\n\nThey’ve never seen Catzilla.", ">\n\nHero of the Week! Hail yourself!", ">\n\nThere it is!", ">\n\n\nThe Army Corps Of Engineers Has Released a 2023 Calendar Of Giant Cats Attacking <\n\nr/brand new sentence \nAlso, giant cats attacking infrastructure is so 2020. In 2023 it just sounds silly.", ">\n\nSeptember ❤️", ">\n\nOmg. I love this. Especially the text blurbs on the pictures. Very funny and adorable!", ">\n\nSounds like they understand cats are required if you want social media traction", ">\n\nI have never wanted to buy a calendar more than I do now!", ">\n\nOn the one hand, I applaud the idea.\nOn the other hand, the photoshop skills look like they came from the army corps of engineers.", ">\n\nWould you actually want them to look like they were perfectly matched to each environment? I'm pretty sure the comedic effect is all that matters here.\nAnd besides, it was just one engineer that created this on their spare time, rather than an official ACE production.", ">\n\nI was mainly being a bit snarky because the internet. That, and what I said was objectively true.", ">\n\nCan confirm, the Corps of Engineers fuckkkkks", ">\n\nGoddammit I just bought my 2023 calendar too lol", ">\n\nThat’s cute though, not worrisome like a lot of other r/nottheonion posts.", ">\n\nAs ever, the Army Corps of Engineers are the one branch of the US state that can get the important shit done", ">\n\nFrom the comments ITT it's evident that most people are unaware of how important they are to the lives of the majority of productive people in this country (people who live near a coastline or a major body of water). It's not just dams and rivers, it's the actual physical coastline of america that they look after.", ">\n\nYup, it seems double edged- people think oh, they're the army corps and assumes they must be doing only military stuff. But equally if it was civilianised no doubt it'd be a target for cuts. An incredible org, regardless. And whether it's cats or weather or warming or the collapse of neglected infrastructure they're going to get more and more important so it's a damn good thing they exist because in 2023, nobody would invent them...", ">\n\nUSACE is an agency that is funded by the DOD but is vastly ran by civilians. There are very few enlisted or commissioned people in the army corps.", ">\n\nOK this is a thing and this is awesome", ">\n\nOops, I had \"Zombie Redneck Torture Family\" in the betting pool.", ">\n\nGrumble. Never gonna see a merman...", ">\n\nUSACE Portland District is one of the absolute best public sector social media presences out there. Seriously. Check it out.", ">\n\nCats in military pictures is an entire IG channel", ">\n\nGood boot", ">\n\nCommand team must be TDY", ">\n\nThat was even better than the title made me think it would be.", ">\n\nI support my tax dollars going to causes such as this.", ">\n\nFinally tax dollars doing something good", ">\n\nI’m kind of disappointed. From the title, I thought there would be photos of actual big cats attacking infrastructure, not photoshopped domestic cats. Anyone have a photo of a puma going after an electrical substation? Or a tiger gnawing on a water line?", ">\n\nNo. No one has that. Would be very interesting though to compile a calendar like that. Peace brother.", ">\n\nGreat, now I need a color printer.\nSeriously, thank you u/radioman8414!", ">\n\nThis is how I want my tax money spent. Downloaded and put up in my office!", ">\n\nThe regional social media guy who put this together is constantly hilarious", ">\n\nGreatest calendar of 2023.", ">\n\nI need one of these for my office! I've worked on some of these dams!", ">\n\nCan I ask you some dam questions?? I’m sure you know a lot of dam information. I’m sure all of us would love some dam stories. Thank you.", ">\n\nSure way to have a more interesting calendar than just infrastructure.", ">\n\nI would so adopt one if they existed.", ">\n\nI've heard army corps of engineers are very difficult to house train. May want to consider before adopting one.", ">\n\nTouché.", ">\n\nThat's amazing, thank you for posting it!", ">\n\nIs there anywhere to buy a nice physical copy of the calendar?", ">\n\nThose cats are mind-controlled by taxoplasmosis alien ameobas!", ">\n\nI was thinking this was gonna be mountain lions taking out maintenance huts or something like that. This is so much better", ">\n\nI’m the daughter of a former Portland, Oregon, US Army Corps Engineer, and I can confirm they are a strange crew. It makes me view the dams on the Columbia River fondly?", ">\n\nI love this so much.", ">\n\nDude. Awesome.", ">\n\nI love this! My astronomy teacher once did a talk on space cats. It was hysterical. Out of the blue he showed us pictures of space with cats added in. He felt we needed a fun class for laughs. I want this calendar.", ">\n\nThis would be really cool if they got a decent digital artist. But they didn't, they used photoshop about as well as I can.", ">\n\nI think that adds to the charm", ">\n\nDon't even need to see it, where can I buy it", ">\n\nFrom the link - \"Because the Army Corps is a Government Agency, the calendar is in public domain and totally free to download and print\"", ">\n\nThis is so funny, because it’s my Dad’s old workplace (from 1971 until he retired). My father, however, has zero sense of humor so he’d never work on something like this.", ">\n\nI met a guy from the Army Corps of Engineers when I worked for the EPA. Smartest guy I've ever met and the 2nd most hippe like person I've ever met. I'd like to think he had something to do with this idea.", ">\n\nFinally the massive military budget of the US is put to good use.", ">\n\nThis is awesome. I might have to buy one.", ">\n\nNo need. It's free, though you have to print it yourself if you want a physical copy", ">\n\nThis is so adorable! I approve wholeheartedly.", ">\n\nIt's about time.", ">\n\nSappers lead the way", ">\n\nI have so much love for this.", ">\n\nEhisssayons.", ">\n\nLove it.", ">\n\nUnintended benefits of relaxed Marijuana policies :)", ">\n\nUsace has not relaxed cannabis policies. No federal agency has", ">\n\nThey certainly have relaxed policy, even though federal law hasn't changed. It's legal in my state and the current administration has announced they won't be pursuing user level Marijuana charges at the federal level.\nWake up.", ">\n\nUSACE still falls under the same policies as the rest of the army. They're treated as DA civilians, and subject to periodic biochemical testing and the resultant consequences if they pee hot. The army has, and will not in the foreseeable future, relax any policy regarding marijuana.", ">\n\nAdorable idea; wish they had hired someone better at photoshop", ">\n\nIts a free gag calendar that was probably just put together by someone for fun in their spare time. Considering the state of infrastructure in the US I don't imagine the Corps of Engineers has a lot of extra spending money to throw around", ">\n\nIf they were smart, they would print it for us and sell it. I don't want a crappy calender that I printed on regular paper, I want the real thing and I would be glad to pay for it.", ">\n\nGenius!! This needs to be a trend. Reddit, make it so...", ">\n\nfuck yeah we finally gonna balance the budget", ">\n\nDecember's hilarious. I want this calender.", ">\n\nYou can totally tell that this is not real. The lighting on the cats is so obviously different than the environmental mistake. Pathetic effort infrastructure geeks.", ">\n\nSo they can blame cats for shoddy workmanship and lax maintenance.", ">\n\nDon't capitalize \"Of\" in titles", ">\n\nWish they'd focus on not taking eight years to permit a fucking project, those lazy excuses for engineers.", ">\n\nYou’re crazy dude. These peeps have built some amazing things. Extremely impressive.", ">\n\nThey used to.", ">\n\n😂", ">\n\nThis whole absurd thing is exactly my sense of humour. LOVE it.", ">\n\nOregon! I've seen the one at Detroit Dam. Sneaky bugger. Hangs out with Bigfoot.", ">\n\nI need this", ">\n\nThat's some adorable terrorism right there.", ">\n\nI remember seeing them, on quad bikes, with a lot of equipment, on Myrtle Beach beaches, I always wondered what they were doing...", ">\n\nI love this sequel to Beginning of the End!", ">\n\nIs there a way I can buy a physical version?", ">\n\nThey're Demo-cats!", ">\n\nAny recommendations of the best way to get this printed semi-professionally? I tried checking Costco photo centre but they make you use a template.", ">\n\nOf course it’s Portland.", ">\n\nKind of disappointing I can't actually buy a printed one. My daughter would love this.", ">\n\nA pretty good idea for a poster. Who doesn't like cats being cats?", ">\n\nI really wish I had become a part of the ACOE but my mother didn't want her only son in the military.", ">\n\nUsace has civilian positions you're employed by the army, but you don't go through basic", ">\n\nI hope they pay more than Nidec.", ">\n\nThanks for sharing! Downloaded and got my new Lock Screen wallpaper.", ">\n\nDecember is 🔥", ">\n\nObligatory Cat Dynamics", ">\n\nPoliticians will say this is the proof of the REAL reason of why our infrastructure is deteriorating, then vote in a measure to hire their friends and family to counter this threat.", ">\n\nI didnt know cats were domestic terrorists like Republicans. lol", ">\n\nThis is the only kind of apocalypse I could see myself getting excited about.", ">\n\nAugust a missed opportunity to have CAT Excavators.", ">\n\nYou have my attention.", ">\n\nSmart move", ">\n\nGod help us.", ">\n\nBest thing to come out of the Army post WWII.", ">\n\n🤔", ">\n\n\"Let's write a two paragraph article about something freely available on the internet and make absolutely no attempt to actually tell you where to find it\".", ">\n\nCatjira!", ">\n\nhilarious!", ">\n\nFinally", ">\n\nThis is the oniony-est story I’ve seen on here in a while", ">\n\nCant wait for the next spending bill to include cat proofing our infrastructure", ">\n\nHonestly… I’d buy it." ]

[ "Imagine the work order. \nYour boss comes to you and says, \"Hey, you're in charge of the cats calendar.\"\n\"What calendar?\"\n\"The one with cats attacking infrastructure?\"\n\"What?\"", ">\n\nyou miss ONE day...", ">\n\nHail Vectron!", ">\n\nBy Vectron!", ">\n\nFor those yet to experience the holy might of Vectron's kindly claw", ">\n\nThank you. I had no idea.", ">\n\nYou are most welcome by Vectron", ">\n\nFor the love of all that is Vectron, your speech warms my Vectronic heart.", ">\n\nMay Vectron’s beard shed its benevolence upon us. 🙏🏻🙏🏻", ">\n\nAnd may all of his correspondence to us be sent Vectronically. So it is written, so shall it be done.", ">\n\nI live in Oregon and started to recognize a bunch of the dams, so I was like, “huh, that’s kinda cool.” Then I saw the text at the bottom of the first page. Portland District. Now a cat calendar makes perfect sense.", ">\n\nSame thing happened to me. I think I'm going to head to kinko's and have them print it out for me.", ">\n\nTell them you need to print some important official military documents before you show them what it is", ">\n\nDon’t forget to tell them you need it right meow!", ">\n\nWho will protect our infrastructure from this menace?", ">\n\nAn array of laser pointers.", ">\n\ncut to giant laser pointer satellite", ">\n\nomigod the jewish space lasers were real", ">\n\n*meowish space lasers", ">\n\nHey that's racist", ">\n\nI think it would be cheaper to buy a calendar than use the ink/toner required to print it.", ">\n\nThat's why you print it at work.", ">\n\nhaha true, oh wait I work from home...", ">\n\nIf you print from home for work you can write printer supplies off on your taxes :)", ">\n\nUh yes boss I needed a calendar, so… oh what? Use the company one? Ummm but the US army has a really nice one and I thought I’d be patriotic - what? Oh, yeah I know we’re in Canada, I just…", ">\n\nPortland is pretty much wannabe Vancouver, BC. I say it goes!", ">\n\nExactly what a Canadian would say...", ">\n\nGoodies, goodie goodie, yum yum.", ">\n\nI just scrolled until I found The Goodies reference but was wondering if I was going to find one at all.", ">\n\nIt's way down the list, isn't it? \n/knees hurt.", ">\n\nOw, my back! Get off my lawn!", ">\n\nOne engineer did it in his free time, and released it for use through the corps. \nThis was NOT government funded.", ">\n\nEven if it was government funded, I support this.", ">\n\nEven if it was government funded it would've been like maybe one day of pay at most? Not a ton for the amount of publicity they'll get that might make them even more money.", ">\n\nAssuming they already have the infrastructure pictures I would be surprised if it took more than 4 work hours. Also for chronically underfunded agencies that kind of PR is exactly how you get voters to convince the politicians to increase funds. I look forward to NASA figuring out how to photoshop giant cats playing with the planets like balls of yarn for their calendar", ">\n\n\nI look forward to NASA figuring out how to photoshop giant cats playing with the planets like balls of yarn for their calendar \n\nWell let me introduce you to the most bizarre social media messaging from an official U.S. government agency: The U.S. Consumer Product Safety Commission's Instagram feed. \nAnd before I catch any \"there's no way this is real\" replies, here's the Washington Post covering it: \n\nHow a federal bureaucrat uses astronaut babies and dogs riding pigeons to try to save your life", ">\n\nThis is rad!", ">\n\nCISA losing their shit rn", ">\n\nI would like one.", ">\n\nIt's a free PDF.", ">\n\nNo he would like one of the cats", ">\n\nyOu wOuLdN'T DoWnloAd a cAT", ">\n\nI can’t believe they included Sherlock getting knocked off a cliff. At least he didn’t jump this time.", ">\n\nI'm shocked that you're the only person I've seen comment on this so far! it's hilarious", ">\n\n\"Every year, dozens of cats attack important infrastructure for our country causing dozens of dollars of damage. Won't you help?\"", ">\n\nI heard this with Sarah McLoughlin's voice", ">\n\nArmy Cats", ">\n\nNow do it with pictures of our crumbling infrastructure.", ">\n\nThis seems like one of those things that is somehow going to age poorly given our Universe's current sense of irony. I don't know how exactly, but there's going to be some mass tragedy involving cats and a suspension bridge or something this year.", ">\n\nThe first image kind of reads like \"this infrastructure is super important so don't damage it\". The calendar almost seems like a shopping list for domestic terrorists or something lol.", ">\n\nI mean, pretty obvious that dams, substations, bridges and the like are good targets for chaos. Google maps gives you all this plus Police stations and everything, with photos and the address. Useless to worry about it", ">\n\nSeriously, anyone who unironicly think terrorists were waiting for a cat calendar to list a bunch of locations to bomb is paranoid about the wrong things.", ">\n\nCats would hunt and eat us if they were bigger than us", ">\n\nThey already do, they are called Tigers.", ">\n\nIf there were smaller tigers, we would keep them as pets, but they'd break all our stuff to prove they're still in charge.", ">\n\nThey already do, they are called Cats.", ">\n\nOH MY GOD!", ">\n\nMy tabby is a cute little tiger", ">\n\nI knew we had infrastructure challenges, but I didn't realize we were facing an infrastructure cat-astrophe!", ">\n\nTake my r/angryupvote", ">\n\nI love how shitty the photoshop is. Really ties it all together", ">\n\nYeah I like the idea--but the pictures chosen and color grading are all off. I'd like this idea better executed more professionally.", ">\n\nOh no I'm serious. The unprofessionalism is the best part. I would absolutely pay money for this", ">\n\nOnly only thing weirder is gonna be their crazy ass plan to save the infrastructure.", ">\n\nIt's the engineer Corp, they can build giant cat carriers.", ">\n\nI guess anything beats the 40 million they spend on viagra to keep the soldiers saluting.", ">\n\nThis is delightful", ">\n\ni was imagining mountain lions breaking in to dumpsters or something, not giant house cats gnawing on substations, not disappointed.", ">\n\nI don’t need a calendar now that our pocket rectangles handle all of that for us, but I really want this calendar.", ">\n\nIt is really convenient to just walk by my schedule versus having to pull it up, scroll, click and expand. I tend to forget about things if I don’t see it in front of me, but that’s just how my brain works. Plus if you’re on the phone trying to schedule something it’s nice to write it out too.", ">\n\nI'm sorry, we're already booked for giant spiders.", ">\n\nI personally kinda love this.", ">\n\nBest use of a miniscule amount of our tax dollars in the entire US $1.7T budget. US Army Corp wins the internet today!", ">\n\nHonestly, the entire army corps of engineers may be one of highest rates of return on public good vs funding", ">\n\nSeriously. They do a shit ton of quality and important public work on a relatively shoe-string budget for engineering. I have a lot of respect for the people that work at the USACOE.", ">\n\nSeptember, now that one is art", ">\n\nHaters will say it's Photoshop.", ">\n\nThey’ve never seen Catzilla.", ">\n\nHero of the Week! Hail yourself!", ">\n\nThere it is!", ">\n\n\nThe Army Corps Of Engineers Has Released a 2023 Calendar Of Giant Cats Attacking <\n\nr/brand new sentence \nAlso, giant cats attacking infrastructure is so 2020. In 2023 it just sounds silly.", ">\n\nSeptember ❤️", ">\n\nOmg. I love this. Especially the text blurbs on the pictures. Very funny and adorable!", ">\n\nSounds like they understand cats are required if you want social media traction", ">\n\nI have never wanted to buy a calendar more than I do now!", ">\n\nOn the one hand, I applaud the idea.\nOn the other hand, the photoshop skills look like they came from the army corps of engineers.", ">\n\nWould you actually want them to look like they were perfectly matched to each environment? I'm pretty sure the comedic effect is all that matters here.\nAnd besides, it was just one engineer that created this on their spare time, rather than an official ACE production.", ">\n\nI was mainly being a bit snarky because the internet. That, and what I said was objectively true.", ">\n\nCan confirm, the Corps of Engineers fuckkkkks", ">\n\nGoddammit I just bought my 2023 calendar too lol", ">\n\nThat’s cute though, not worrisome like a lot of other r/nottheonion posts.", ">\n\nAs ever, the Army Corps of Engineers are the one branch of the US state that can get the important shit done", ">\n\nFrom the comments ITT it's evident that most people are unaware of how important they are to the lives of the majority of productive people in this country (people who live near a coastline or a major body of water). It's not just dams and rivers, it's the actual physical coastline of america that they look after.", ">\n\nYup, it seems double edged- people think oh, they're the army corps and assumes they must be doing only military stuff. But equally if it was civilianised no doubt it'd be a target for cuts. An incredible org, regardless. And whether it's cats or weather or warming or the collapse of neglected infrastructure they're going to get more and more important so it's a damn good thing they exist because in 2023, nobody would invent them...", ">\n\nUSACE is an agency that is funded by the DOD but is vastly ran by civilians. There are very few enlisted or commissioned people in the army corps.", ">\n\nOK this is a thing and this is awesome", ">\n\nOops, I had \"Zombie Redneck Torture Family\" in the betting pool.", ">\n\nGrumble. Never gonna see a merman...", ">\n\nUSACE Portland District is one of the absolute best public sector social media presences out there. Seriously. Check it out.", ">\n\nCats in military pictures is an entire IG channel", ">\n\nGood boot", ">\n\nCommand team must be TDY", ">\n\nThat was even better than the title made me think it would be.", ">\n\nI support my tax dollars going to causes such as this.", ">\n\nFinally tax dollars doing something good", ">\n\nI’m kind of disappointed. From the title, I thought there would be photos of actual big cats attacking infrastructure, not photoshopped domestic cats. Anyone have a photo of a puma going after an electrical substation? Or a tiger gnawing on a water line?", ">\n\nNo. No one has that. Would be very interesting though to compile a calendar like that. Peace brother.", ">\n\nGreat, now I need a color printer.\nSeriously, thank you u/radioman8414!", ">\n\nThis is how I want my tax money spent. Downloaded and put up in my office!", ">\n\nThe regional social media guy who put this together is constantly hilarious", ">\n\nGreatest calendar of 2023.", ">\n\nI need one of these for my office! I've worked on some of these dams!", ">\n\nCan I ask you some dam questions?? I’m sure you know a lot of dam information. I’m sure all of us would love some dam stories. Thank you.", ">\n\nSure way to have a more interesting calendar than just infrastructure.", ">\n\nI would so adopt one if they existed.", ">\n\nI've heard army corps of engineers are very difficult to house train. May want to consider before adopting one.", ">\n\nTouché.", ">\n\nThat's amazing, thank you for posting it!", ">\n\nIs there anywhere to buy a nice physical copy of the calendar?", ">\n\nThose cats are mind-controlled by taxoplasmosis alien ameobas!", ">\n\nI was thinking this was gonna be mountain lions taking out maintenance huts or something like that. This is so much better", ">\n\nI’m the daughter of a former Portland, Oregon, US Army Corps Engineer, and I can confirm they are a strange crew. It makes me view the dams on the Columbia River fondly?", ">\n\nI love this so much.", ">\n\nDude. Awesome.", ">\n\nI love this! My astronomy teacher once did a talk on space cats. It was hysterical. Out of the blue he showed us pictures of space with cats added in. He felt we needed a fun class for laughs. I want this calendar.", ">\n\nThis would be really cool if they got a decent digital artist. But they didn't, they used photoshop about as well as I can.", ">\n\nI think that adds to the charm", ">\n\nDon't even need to see it, where can I buy it", ">\n\nFrom the link - \"Because the Army Corps is a Government Agency, the calendar is in public domain and totally free to download and print\"", ">\n\nThis is so funny, because it’s my Dad’s old workplace (from 1971 until he retired). My father, however, has zero sense of humor so he’d never work on something like this.", ">\n\nI met a guy from the Army Corps of Engineers when I worked for the EPA. Smartest guy I've ever met and the 2nd most hippe like person I've ever met. I'd like to think he had something to do with this idea.", ">\n\nFinally the massive military budget of the US is put to good use.", ">\n\nThis is awesome. I might have to buy one.", ">\n\nNo need. It's free, though you have to print it yourself if you want a physical copy", ">\n\nThis is so adorable! I approve wholeheartedly.", ">\n\nIt's about time.", ">\n\nSappers lead the way", ">\n\nI have so much love for this.", ">\n\nEhisssayons.", ">\n\nLove it.", ">\n\nUnintended benefits of relaxed Marijuana policies :)", ">\n\nUsace has not relaxed cannabis policies. No federal agency has", ">\n\nThey certainly have relaxed policy, even though federal law hasn't changed. It's legal in my state and the current administration has announced they won't be pursuing user level Marijuana charges at the federal level.\nWake up.", ">\n\nUSACE still falls under the same policies as the rest of the army. They're treated as DA civilians, and subject to periodic biochemical testing and the resultant consequences if they pee hot. The army has, and will not in the foreseeable future, relax any policy regarding marijuana.", ">\n\nAdorable idea; wish they had hired someone better at photoshop", ">\n\nIts a free gag calendar that was probably just put together by someone for fun in their spare time. Considering the state of infrastructure in the US I don't imagine the Corps of Engineers has a lot of extra spending money to throw around", ">\n\nIf they were smart, they would print it for us and sell it. I don't want a crappy calender that I printed on regular paper, I want the real thing and I would be glad to pay for it.", ">\n\nGenius!! This needs to be a trend. Reddit, make it so...", ">\n\nfuck yeah we finally gonna balance the budget", ">\n\nDecember's hilarious. I want this calender.", ">\n\nYou can totally tell that this is not real. The lighting on the cats is so obviously different than the environmental mistake. Pathetic effort infrastructure geeks.", ">\n\nSo they can blame cats for shoddy workmanship and lax maintenance.", ">\n\nDon't capitalize \"Of\" in titles", ">\n\nWish they'd focus on not taking eight years to permit a fucking project, those lazy excuses for engineers.", ">\n\nYou’re crazy dude. These peeps have built some amazing things. Extremely impressive.", ">\n\nThey used to.", ">\n\n😂", ">\n\nThis whole absurd thing is exactly my sense of humour. LOVE it.", ">\n\nOregon! I've seen the one at Detroit Dam. Sneaky bugger. Hangs out with Bigfoot.", ">\n\nI need this", ">\n\nThat's some adorable terrorism right there.", ">\n\nI remember seeing them, on quad bikes, with a lot of equipment, on Myrtle Beach beaches, I always wondered what they were doing...", ">\n\nI love this sequel to Beginning of the End!", ">\n\nIs there a way I can buy a physical version?", ">\n\nThey're Demo-cats!", ">\n\nAny recommendations of the best way to get this printed semi-professionally? I tried checking Costco photo centre but they make you use a template.", ">\n\nOf course it’s Portland.", ">\n\nKind of disappointing I can't actually buy a printed one. My daughter would love this.", ">\n\nA pretty good idea for a poster. Who doesn't like cats being cats?", ">\n\nI really wish I had become a part of the ACOE but my mother didn't want her only son in the military.", ">\n\nUsace has civilian positions you're employed by the army, but you don't go through basic", ">\n\nI hope they pay more than Nidec.", ">\n\nThanks for sharing! Downloaded and got my new Lock Screen wallpaper.", ">\n\nDecember is 🔥", ">\n\nObligatory Cat Dynamics", ">\n\nPoliticians will say this is the proof of the REAL reason of why our infrastructure is deteriorating, then vote in a measure to hire their friends and family to counter this threat.", ">\n\nI didnt know cats were domestic terrorists like Republicans. lol", ">\n\nThis is the only kind of apocalypse I could see myself getting excited about.", ">\n\nAugust a missed opportunity to have CAT Excavators.", ">\n\nYou have my attention.", ">\n\nSmart move", ">\n\nGod help us.", ">\n\nBest thing to come out of the Army post WWII.", ">\n\n🤔", ">\n\n\"Let's write a two paragraph article about something freely available on the internet and make absolutely no attempt to actually tell you where to find it\".", ">\n\nCatjira!", ">\n\nhilarious!", ">\n\nFinally", ">\n\nThis is the oniony-est story I’ve seen on here in a while", ">\n\nCant wait for the next spending bill to include cat proofing our infrastructure", ">\n\nHonestly… I’d buy it.", ">\n\nWish I would have heard of that in November or so. This seems unique, fun and a great idea for a calendar." ]

[ "Imagine the work order. \nYour boss comes to you and says, \"Hey, you're in charge of the cats calendar.\"\n\"What calendar?\"\n\"The one with cats attacking infrastructure?\"\n\"What?\"", ">\n\nyou miss ONE day...", ">\n\nHail Vectron!", ">\n\nBy Vectron!", ">\n\nFor those yet to experience the holy might of Vectron's kindly claw", ">\n\nThank you. I had no idea.", ">\n\nYou are most welcome by Vectron", ">\n\nFor the love of all that is Vectron, your speech warms my Vectronic heart.", ">\n\nMay Vectron’s beard shed its benevolence upon us. 🙏🏻🙏🏻", ">\n\nAnd may all of his correspondence to us be sent Vectronically. So it is written, so shall it be done.", ">\n\nI live in Oregon and started to recognize a bunch of the dams, so I was like, “huh, that’s kinda cool.” Then I saw the text at the bottom of the first page. Portland District. Now a cat calendar makes perfect sense.", ">\n\nSame thing happened to me. I think I'm going to head to kinko's and have them print it out for me.", ">\n\nTell them you need to print some important official military documents before you show them what it is", ">\n\nDon’t forget to tell them you need it right meow!", ">\n\nWho will protect our infrastructure from this menace?", ">\n\nAn array of laser pointers.", ">\n\ncut to giant laser pointer satellite", ">\n\nomigod the jewish space lasers were real", ">\n\n*meowish space lasers", ">\n\nHey that's racist", ">\n\nI think it would be cheaper to buy a calendar than use the ink/toner required to print it.", ">\n\nThat's why you print it at work.", ">\n\nhaha true, oh wait I work from home...", ">\n\nIf you print from home for work you can write printer supplies off on your taxes :)", ">\n\nUh yes boss I needed a calendar, so… oh what? Use the company one? Ummm but the US army has a really nice one and I thought I’d be patriotic - what? Oh, yeah I know we’re in Canada, I just…", ">\n\nPortland is pretty much wannabe Vancouver, BC. I say it goes!", ">\n\nExactly what a Canadian would say...", ">\n\nGoodies, goodie goodie, yum yum.", ">\n\nI just scrolled until I found The Goodies reference but was wondering if I was going to find one at all.", ">\n\nIt's way down the list, isn't it? \n/knees hurt.", ">\n\nOw, my back! Get off my lawn!", ">\n\nOne engineer did it in his free time, and released it for use through the corps. \nThis was NOT government funded.", ">\n\nEven if it was government funded, I support this.", ">\n\nEven if it was government funded it would've been like maybe one day of pay at most? Not a ton for the amount of publicity they'll get that might make them even more money.", ">\n\nAssuming they already have the infrastructure pictures I would be surprised if it took more than 4 work hours. Also for chronically underfunded agencies that kind of PR is exactly how you get voters to convince the politicians to increase funds. I look forward to NASA figuring out how to photoshop giant cats playing with the planets like balls of yarn for their calendar", ">\n\n\nI look forward to NASA figuring out how to photoshop giant cats playing with the planets like balls of yarn for their calendar \n\nWell let me introduce you to the most bizarre social media messaging from an official U.S. government agency: The U.S. Consumer Product Safety Commission's Instagram feed. \nAnd before I catch any \"there's no way this is real\" replies, here's the Washington Post covering it: \n\nHow a federal bureaucrat uses astronaut babies and dogs riding pigeons to try to save your life", ">\n\nThis is rad!", ">\n\nCISA losing their shit rn", ">\n\nI would like one.", ">\n\nIt's a free PDF.", ">\n\nNo he would like one of the cats", ">\n\nyOu wOuLdN'T DoWnloAd a cAT", ">\n\nI can’t believe they included Sherlock getting knocked off a cliff. At least he didn’t jump this time.", ">\n\nI'm shocked that you're the only person I've seen comment on this so far! it's hilarious", ">\n\n\"Every year, dozens of cats attack important infrastructure for our country causing dozens of dollars of damage. Won't you help?\"", ">\n\nI heard this with Sarah McLoughlin's voice", ">\n\nArmy Cats", ">\n\nNow do it with pictures of our crumbling infrastructure.", ">\n\nThis seems like one of those things that is somehow going to age poorly given our Universe's current sense of irony. I don't know how exactly, but there's going to be some mass tragedy involving cats and a suspension bridge or something this year.", ">\n\nThe first image kind of reads like \"this infrastructure is super important so don't damage it\". The calendar almost seems like a shopping list for domestic terrorists or something lol.", ">\n\nI mean, pretty obvious that dams, substations, bridges and the like are good targets for chaos. Google maps gives you all this plus Police stations and everything, with photos and the address. Useless to worry about it", ">\n\nSeriously, anyone who unironicly think terrorists were waiting for a cat calendar to list a bunch of locations to bomb is paranoid about the wrong things.", ">\n\nCats would hunt and eat us if they were bigger than us", ">\n\nThey already do, they are called Tigers.", ">\n\nIf there were smaller tigers, we would keep them as pets, but they'd break all our stuff to prove they're still in charge.", ">\n\nThey already do, they are called Cats.", ">\n\nOH MY GOD!", ">\n\nMy tabby is a cute little tiger", ">\n\nI knew we had infrastructure challenges, but I didn't realize we were facing an infrastructure cat-astrophe!", ">\n\nTake my r/angryupvote", ">\n\nI love how shitty the photoshop is. Really ties it all together", ">\n\nYeah I like the idea--but the pictures chosen and color grading are all off. I'd like this idea better executed more professionally.", ">\n\nOh no I'm serious. The unprofessionalism is the best part. I would absolutely pay money for this", ">\n\nOnly only thing weirder is gonna be their crazy ass plan to save the infrastructure.", ">\n\nIt's the engineer Corp, they can build giant cat carriers.", ">\n\nI guess anything beats the 40 million they spend on viagra to keep the soldiers saluting.", ">\n\nThis is delightful", ">\n\ni was imagining mountain lions breaking in to dumpsters or something, not giant house cats gnawing on substations, not disappointed.", ">\n\nI don’t need a calendar now that our pocket rectangles handle all of that for us, but I really want this calendar.", ">\n\nIt is really convenient to just walk by my schedule versus having to pull it up, scroll, click and expand. I tend to forget about things if I don’t see it in front of me, but that’s just how my brain works. Plus if you’re on the phone trying to schedule something it’s nice to write it out too.", ">\n\nI'm sorry, we're already booked for giant spiders.", ">\n\nI personally kinda love this.", ">\n\nBest use of a miniscule amount of our tax dollars in the entire US $1.7T budget. US Army Corp wins the internet today!", ">\n\nHonestly, the entire army corps of engineers may be one of highest rates of return on public good vs funding", ">\n\nSeriously. They do a shit ton of quality and important public work on a relatively shoe-string budget for engineering. I have a lot of respect for the people that work at the USACOE.", ">\n\nSeptember, now that one is art", ">\n\nHaters will say it's Photoshop.", ">\n\nThey’ve never seen Catzilla.", ">\n\nHero of the Week! Hail yourself!", ">\n\nThere it is!", ">\n\n\nThe Army Corps Of Engineers Has Released a 2023 Calendar Of Giant Cats Attacking <\n\nr/brand new sentence \nAlso, giant cats attacking infrastructure is so 2020. In 2023 it just sounds silly.", ">\n\nSeptember ❤️", ">\n\nOmg. I love this. Especially the text blurbs on the pictures. Very funny and adorable!", ">\n\nSounds like they understand cats are required if you want social media traction", ">\n\nI have never wanted to buy a calendar more than I do now!", ">\n\nOn the one hand, I applaud the idea.\nOn the other hand, the photoshop skills look like they came from the army corps of engineers.", ">\n\nWould you actually want them to look like they were perfectly matched to each environment? I'm pretty sure the comedic effect is all that matters here.\nAnd besides, it was just one engineer that created this on their spare time, rather than an official ACE production.", ">\n\nI was mainly being a bit snarky because the internet. That, and what I said was objectively true.", ">\n\nCan confirm, the Corps of Engineers fuckkkkks", ">\n\nGoddammit I just bought my 2023 calendar too lol", ">\n\nThat’s cute though, not worrisome like a lot of other r/nottheonion posts.", ">\n\nAs ever, the Army Corps of Engineers are the one branch of the US state that can get the important shit done", ">\n\nFrom the comments ITT it's evident that most people are unaware of how important they are to the lives of the majority of productive people in this country (people who live near a coastline or a major body of water). It's not just dams and rivers, it's the actual physical coastline of america that they look after.", ">\n\nYup, it seems double edged- people think oh, they're the army corps and assumes they must be doing only military stuff. But equally if it was civilianised no doubt it'd be a target for cuts. An incredible org, regardless. And whether it's cats or weather or warming or the collapse of neglected infrastructure they're going to get more and more important so it's a damn good thing they exist because in 2023, nobody would invent them...", ">\n\nUSACE is an agency that is funded by the DOD but is vastly ran by civilians. There are very few enlisted or commissioned people in the army corps.", ">\n\nOK this is a thing and this is awesome", ">\n\nOops, I had \"Zombie Redneck Torture Family\" in the betting pool.", ">\n\nGrumble. Never gonna see a merman...", ">\n\nUSACE Portland District is one of the absolute best public sector social media presences out there. Seriously. Check it out.", ">\n\nCats in military pictures is an entire IG channel", ">\n\nGood boot", ">\n\nCommand team must be TDY", ">\n\nThat was even better than the title made me think it would be.", ">\n\nI support my tax dollars going to causes such as this.", ">\n\nFinally tax dollars doing something good", ">\n\nI’m kind of disappointed. From the title, I thought there would be photos of actual big cats attacking infrastructure, not photoshopped domestic cats. Anyone have a photo of a puma going after an electrical substation? Or a tiger gnawing on a water line?", ">\n\nNo. No one has that. Would be very interesting though to compile a calendar like that. Peace brother.", ">\n\nGreat, now I need a color printer.\nSeriously, thank you u/radioman8414!", ">\n\nThis is how I want my tax money spent. Downloaded and put up in my office!", ">\n\nThe regional social media guy who put this together is constantly hilarious", ">\n\nGreatest calendar of 2023.", ">\n\nI need one of these for my office! I've worked on some of these dams!", ">\n\nCan I ask you some dam questions?? I’m sure you know a lot of dam information. I’m sure all of us would love some dam stories. Thank you.", ">\n\nSure way to have a more interesting calendar than just infrastructure.", ">\n\nI would so adopt one if they existed.", ">\n\nI've heard army corps of engineers are very difficult to house train. May want to consider before adopting one.", ">\n\nTouché.", ">\n\nThat's amazing, thank you for posting it!", ">\n\nIs there anywhere to buy a nice physical copy of the calendar?", ">\n\nThose cats are mind-controlled by taxoplasmosis alien ameobas!", ">\n\nI was thinking this was gonna be mountain lions taking out maintenance huts or something like that. This is so much better", ">\n\nI’m the daughter of a former Portland, Oregon, US Army Corps Engineer, and I can confirm they are a strange crew. It makes me view the dams on the Columbia River fondly?", ">\n\nI love this so much.", ">\n\nDude. Awesome.", ">\n\nI love this! My astronomy teacher once did a talk on space cats. It was hysterical. Out of the blue he showed us pictures of space with cats added in. He felt we needed a fun class for laughs. I want this calendar.", ">\n\nThis would be really cool if they got a decent digital artist. But they didn't, they used photoshop about as well as I can.", ">\n\nI think that adds to the charm", ">\n\nDon't even need to see it, where can I buy it", ">\n\nFrom the link - \"Because the Army Corps is a Government Agency, the calendar is in public domain and totally free to download and print\"", ">\n\nThis is so funny, because it’s my Dad’s old workplace (from 1971 until he retired). My father, however, has zero sense of humor so he’d never work on something like this.", ">\n\nI met a guy from the Army Corps of Engineers when I worked for the EPA. Smartest guy I've ever met and the 2nd most hippe like person I've ever met. I'd like to think he had something to do with this idea.", ">\n\nFinally the massive military budget of the US is put to good use.", ">\n\nThis is awesome. I might have to buy one.", ">\n\nNo need. It's free, though you have to print it yourself if you want a physical copy", ">\n\nThis is so adorable! I approve wholeheartedly.", ">\n\nIt's about time.", ">\n\nSappers lead the way", ">\n\nI have so much love for this.", ">\n\nEhisssayons.", ">\n\nLove it.", ">\n\nUnintended benefits of relaxed Marijuana policies :)", ">\n\nUsace has not relaxed cannabis policies. No federal agency has", ">\n\nThey certainly have relaxed policy, even though federal law hasn't changed. It's legal in my state and the current administration has announced they won't be pursuing user level Marijuana charges at the federal level.\nWake up.", ">\n\nUSACE still falls under the same policies as the rest of the army. They're treated as DA civilians, and subject to periodic biochemical testing and the resultant consequences if they pee hot. The army has, and will not in the foreseeable future, relax any policy regarding marijuana.", ">\n\nAdorable idea; wish they had hired someone better at photoshop", ">\n\nIts a free gag calendar that was probably just put together by someone for fun in their spare time. Considering the state of infrastructure in the US I don't imagine the Corps of Engineers has a lot of extra spending money to throw around", ">\n\nIf they were smart, they would print it for us and sell it. I don't want a crappy calender that I printed on regular paper, I want the real thing and I would be glad to pay for it.", ">\n\nGenius!! This needs to be a trend. Reddit, make it so...", ">\n\nfuck yeah we finally gonna balance the budget", ">\n\nDecember's hilarious. I want this calender.", ">\n\nYou can totally tell that this is not real. The lighting on the cats is so obviously different than the environmental mistake. Pathetic effort infrastructure geeks.", ">\n\nSo they can blame cats for shoddy workmanship and lax maintenance.", ">\n\nDon't capitalize \"Of\" in titles", ">\n\nWish they'd focus on not taking eight years to permit a fucking project, those lazy excuses for engineers.", ">\n\nYou’re crazy dude. These peeps have built some amazing things. Extremely impressive.", ">\n\nThey used to.", ">\n\n😂", ">\n\nThis whole absurd thing is exactly my sense of humour. LOVE it.", ">\n\nOregon! I've seen the one at Detroit Dam. Sneaky bugger. Hangs out with Bigfoot.", ">\n\nI need this", ">\n\nThat's some adorable terrorism right there.", ">\n\nI remember seeing them, on quad bikes, with a lot of equipment, on Myrtle Beach beaches, I always wondered what they were doing...", ">\n\nI love this sequel to Beginning of the End!", ">\n\nIs there a way I can buy a physical version?", ">\n\nThey're Demo-cats!", ">\n\nAny recommendations of the best way to get this printed semi-professionally? I tried checking Costco photo centre but they make you use a template.", ">\n\nOf course it’s Portland.", ">\n\nKind of disappointing I can't actually buy a printed one. My daughter would love this.", ">\n\nA pretty good idea for a poster. Who doesn't like cats being cats?", ">\n\nI really wish I had become a part of the ACOE but my mother didn't want her only son in the military.", ">\n\nUsace has civilian positions you're employed by the army, but you don't go through basic", ">\n\nI hope they pay more than Nidec.", ">\n\nThanks for sharing! Downloaded and got my new Lock Screen wallpaper.", ">\n\nDecember is 🔥", ">\n\nObligatory Cat Dynamics", ">\n\nPoliticians will say this is the proof of the REAL reason of why our infrastructure is deteriorating, then vote in a measure to hire their friends and family to counter this threat.", ">\n\nI didnt know cats were domestic terrorists like Republicans. lol", ">\n\nThis is the only kind of apocalypse I could see myself getting excited about.", ">\n\nAugust a missed opportunity to have CAT Excavators.", ">\n\nYou have my attention.", ">\n\nSmart move", ">\n\nGod help us.", ">\n\nBest thing to come out of the Army post WWII.", ">\n\n🤔", ">\n\n\"Let's write a two paragraph article about something freely available on the internet and make absolutely no attempt to actually tell you where to find it\".", ">\n\nCatjira!", ">\n\nhilarious!", ">\n\nFinally", ">\n\nThis is the oniony-est story I’ve seen on here in a while", ">\n\nCant wait for the next spending bill to include cat proofing our infrastructure", ">\n\nHonestly… I’d buy it.", ">\n\nWish I would have heard of that in November or so. This seems unique, fun and a great idea for a calendar.", ">\n\nI heard about this from Last Podcast on the Left, glad to see it pop up on my feed with pictures!" ]

[ "Imagine the work order. \nYour boss comes to you and says, \"Hey, you're in charge of the cats calendar.\"\n\"What calendar?\"\n\"The one with cats attacking infrastructure?\"\n\"What?\"", ">\n\nyou miss ONE day...", ">\n\nHail Vectron!", ">\n\nBy Vectron!", ">\n\nFor those yet to experience the holy might of Vectron's kindly claw", ">\n\nThank you. I had no idea.", ">\n\nYou are most welcome by Vectron", ">\n\nFor the love of all that is Vectron, your speech warms my Vectronic heart.", ">\n\nMay Vectron’s beard shed its benevolence upon us. 🙏🏻🙏🏻", ">\n\nAnd may all of his correspondence to us be sent Vectronically. So it is written, so shall it be done.", ">\n\nI live in Oregon and started to recognize a bunch of the dams, so I was like, “huh, that’s kinda cool.” Then I saw the text at the bottom of the first page. Portland District. Now a cat calendar makes perfect sense.", ">\n\nSame thing happened to me. I think I'm going to head to kinko's and have them print it out for me.", ">\n\nTell them you need to print some important official military documents before you show them what it is", ">\n\nDon’t forget to tell them you need it right meow!", ">\n\nWho will protect our infrastructure from this menace?", ">\n\nAn array of laser pointers.", ">\n\ncut to giant laser pointer satellite", ">\n\nomigod the jewish space lasers were real", ">\n\n*meowish space lasers", ">\n\nHey that's racist", ">\n\nI think it would be cheaper to buy a calendar than use the ink/toner required to print it.", ">\n\nThat's why you print it at work.", ">\n\nhaha true, oh wait I work from home...", ">\n\nIf you print from home for work you can write printer supplies off on your taxes :)", ">\n\nUh yes boss I needed a calendar, so… oh what? Use the company one? Ummm but the US army has a really nice one and I thought I’d be patriotic - what? Oh, yeah I know we’re in Canada, I just…", ">\n\nPortland is pretty much wannabe Vancouver, BC. I say it goes!", ">\n\nExactly what a Canadian would say...", ">\n\nGoodies, goodie goodie, yum yum.", ">\n\nI just scrolled until I found The Goodies reference but was wondering if I was going to find one at all.", ">\n\nIt's way down the list, isn't it? \n/knees hurt.", ">\n\nOw, my back! Get off my lawn!", ">\n\nOne engineer did it in his free time, and released it for use through the corps. \nThis was NOT government funded.", ">\n\nEven if it was government funded, I support this.", ">\n\nEven if it was government funded it would've been like maybe one day of pay at most? Not a ton for the amount of publicity they'll get that might make them even more money.", ">\n\nAssuming they already have the infrastructure pictures I would be surprised if it took more than 4 work hours. Also for chronically underfunded agencies that kind of PR is exactly how you get voters to convince the politicians to increase funds. I look forward to NASA figuring out how to photoshop giant cats playing with the planets like balls of yarn for their calendar", ">\n\n\nI look forward to NASA figuring out how to photoshop giant cats playing with the planets like balls of yarn for their calendar \n\nWell let me introduce you to the most bizarre social media messaging from an official U.S. government agency: The U.S. Consumer Product Safety Commission's Instagram feed. \nAnd before I catch any \"there's no way this is real\" replies, here's the Washington Post covering it: \n\nHow a federal bureaucrat uses astronaut babies and dogs riding pigeons to try to save your life", ">\n\nThis is rad!", ">\n\nCISA losing their shit rn", ">\n\nI would like one.", ">\n\nIt's a free PDF.", ">\n\nNo he would like one of the cats", ">\n\nyOu wOuLdN'T DoWnloAd a cAT", ">\n\nI can’t believe they included Sherlock getting knocked off a cliff. At least he didn’t jump this time.", ">\n\nI'm shocked that you're the only person I've seen comment on this so far! it's hilarious", ">\n\n\"Every year, dozens of cats attack important infrastructure for our country causing dozens of dollars of damage. Won't you help?\"", ">\n\nI heard this with Sarah McLoughlin's voice", ">\n\nArmy Cats", ">\n\nNow do it with pictures of our crumbling infrastructure.", ">\n\nThis seems like one of those things that is somehow going to age poorly given our Universe's current sense of irony. I don't know how exactly, but there's going to be some mass tragedy involving cats and a suspension bridge or something this year.", ">\n\nThe first image kind of reads like \"this infrastructure is super important so don't damage it\". The calendar almost seems like a shopping list for domestic terrorists or something lol.", ">\n\nI mean, pretty obvious that dams, substations, bridges and the like are good targets for chaos. Google maps gives you all this plus Police stations and everything, with photos and the address. Useless to worry about it", ">\n\nSeriously, anyone who unironicly think terrorists were waiting for a cat calendar to list a bunch of locations to bomb is paranoid about the wrong things.", ">\n\nCats would hunt and eat us if they were bigger than us", ">\n\nThey already do, they are called Tigers.", ">\n\nIf there were smaller tigers, we would keep them as pets, but they'd break all our stuff to prove they're still in charge.", ">\n\nThey already do, they are called Cats.", ">\n\nOH MY GOD!", ">\n\nMy tabby is a cute little tiger", ">\n\nI knew we had infrastructure challenges, but I didn't realize we were facing an infrastructure cat-astrophe!", ">\n\nTake my r/angryupvote", ">\n\nI love how shitty the photoshop is. Really ties it all together", ">\n\nYeah I like the idea--but the pictures chosen and color grading are all off. I'd like this idea better executed more professionally.", ">\n\nOh no I'm serious. The unprofessionalism is the best part. I would absolutely pay money for this", ">\n\nOnly only thing weirder is gonna be their crazy ass plan to save the infrastructure.", ">\n\nIt's the engineer Corp, they can build giant cat carriers.", ">\n\nI guess anything beats the 40 million they spend on viagra to keep the soldiers saluting.", ">\n\nThis is delightful", ">\n\ni was imagining mountain lions breaking in to dumpsters or something, not giant house cats gnawing on substations, not disappointed.", ">\n\nI don’t need a calendar now that our pocket rectangles handle all of that for us, but I really want this calendar.", ">\n\nIt is really convenient to just walk by my schedule versus having to pull it up, scroll, click and expand. I tend to forget about things if I don’t see it in front of me, but that’s just how my brain works. Plus if you’re on the phone trying to schedule something it’s nice to write it out too.", ">\n\nI'm sorry, we're already booked for giant spiders.", ">\n\nI personally kinda love this.", ">\n\nBest use of a miniscule amount of our tax dollars in the entire US $1.7T budget. US Army Corp wins the internet today!", ">\n\nHonestly, the entire army corps of engineers may be one of highest rates of return on public good vs funding", ">\n\nSeriously. They do a shit ton of quality and important public work on a relatively shoe-string budget for engineering. I have a lot of respect for the people that work at the USACOE.", ">\n\nSeptember, now that one is art", ">\n\nHaters will say it's Photoshop.", ">\n\nThey’ve never seen Catzilla.", ">\n\nHero of the Week! Hail yourself!", ">\n\nThere it is!", ">\n\n\nThe Army Corps Of Engineers Has Released a 2023 Calendar Of Giant Cats Attacking <\n\nr/brand new sentence \nAlso, giant cats attacking infrastructure is so 2020. In 2023 it just sounds silly.", ">\n\nSeptember ❤️", ">\n\nOmg. I love this. Especially the text blurbs on the pictures. Very funny and adorable!", ">\n\nSounds like they understand cats are required if you want social media traction", ">\n\nI have never wanted to buy a calendar more than I do now!", ">\n\nOn the one hand, I applaud the idea.\nOn the other hand, the photoshop skills look like they came from the army corps of engineers.", ">\n\nWould you actually want them to look like they were perfectly matched to each environment? I'm pretty sure the comedic effect is all that matters here.\nAnd besides, it was just one engineer that created this on their spare time, rather than an official ACE production.", ">\n\nI was mainly being a bit snarky because the internet. That, and what I said was objectively true.", ">\n\nCan confirm, the Corps of Engineers fuckkkkks", ">\n\nGoddammit I just bought my 2023 calendar too lol", ">\n\nThat’s cute though, not worrisome like a lot of other r/nottheonion posts.", ">\n\nAs ever, the Army Corps of Engineers are the one branch of the US state that can get the important shit done", ">\n\nFrom the comments ITT it's evident that most people are unaware of how important they are to the lives of the majority of productive people in this country (people who live near a coastline or a major body of water). It's not just dams and rivers, it's the actual physical coastline of america that they look after.", ">\n\nYup, it seems double edged- people think oh, they're the army corps and assumes they must be doing only military stuff. But equally if it was civilianised no doubt it'd be a target for cuts. An incredible org, regardless. And whether it's cats or weather or warming or the collapse of neglected infrastructure they're going to get more and more important so it's a damn good thing they exist because in 2023, nobody would invent them...", ">\n\nUSACE is an agency that is funded by the DOD but is vastly ran by civilians. There are very few enlisted or commissioned people in the army corps.", ">\n\nOK this is a thing and this is awesome", ">\n\nOops, I had \"Zombie Redneck Torture Family\" in the betting pool.", ">\n\nGrumble. Never gonna see a merman...", ">\n\nUSACE Portland District is one of the absolute best public sector social media presences out there. Seriously. Check it out.", ">\n\nCats in military pictures is an entire IG channel", ">\n\nGood boot", ">\n\nCommand team must be TDY", ">\n\nThat was even better than the title made me think it would be.", ">\n\nI support my tax dollars going to causes such as this.", ">\n\nFinally tax dollars doing something good", ">\n\nI’m kind of disappointed. From the title, I thought there would be photos of actual big cats attacking infrastructure, not photoshopped domestic cats. Anyone have a photo of a puma going after an electrical substation? Or a tiger gnawing on a water line?", ">\n\nNo. No one has that. Would be very interesting though to compile a calendar like that. Peace brother.", ">\n\nGreat, now I need a color printer.\nSeriously, thank you u/radioman8414!", ">\n\nThis is how I want my tax money spent. Downloaded and put up in my office!", ">\n\nThe regional social media guy who put this together is constantly hilarious", ">\n\nGreatest calendar of 2023.", ">\n\nI need one of these for my office! I've worked on some of these dams!", ">\n\nCan I ask you some dam questions?? I’m sure you know a lot of dam information. I’m sure all of us would love some dam stories. Thank you.", ">\n\nSure way to have a more interesting calendar than just infrastructure.", ">\n\nI would so adopt one if they existed.", ">\n\nI've heard army corps of engineers are very difficult to house train. May want to consider before adopting one.", ">\n\nTouché.", ">\n\nThat's amazing, thank you for posting it!", ">\n\nIs there anywhere to buy a nice physical copy of the calendar?", ">\n\nThose cats are mind-controlled by taxoplasmosis alien ameobas!", ">\n\nI was thinking this was gonna be mountain lions taking out maintenance huts or something like that. This is so much better", ">\n\nI’m the daughter of a former Portland, Oregon, US Army Corps Engineer, and I can confirm they are a strange crew. It makes me view the dams on the Columbia River fondly?", ">\n\nI love this so much.", ">\n\nDude. Awesome.", ">\n\nI love this! My astronomy teacher once did a talk on space cats. It was hysterical. Out of the blue he showed us pictures of space with cats added in. He felt we needed a fun class for laughs. I want this calendar.", ">\n\nThis would be really cool if they got a decent digital artist. But they didn't, they used photoshop about as well as I can.", ">\n\nI think that adds to the charm", ">\n\nDon't even need to see it, where can I buy it", ">\n\nFrom the link - \"Because the Army Corps is a Government Agency, the calendar is in public domain and totally free to download and print\"", ">\n\nThis is so funny, because it’s my Dad’s old workplace (from 1971 until he retired). My father, however, has zero sense of humor so he’d never work on something like this.", ">\n\nI met a guy from the Army Corps of Engineers when I worked for the EPA. Smartest guy I've ever met and the 2nd most hippe like person I've ever met. I'd like to think he had something to do with this idea.", ">\n\nFinally the massive military budget of the US is put to good use.", ">\n\nThis is awesome. I might have to buy one.", ">\n\nNo need. It's free, though you have to print it yourself if you want a physical copy", ">\n\nThis is so adorable! I approve wholeheartedly.", ">\n\nIt's about time.", ">\n\nSappers lead the way", ">\n\nI have so much love for this.", ">\n\nEhisssayons.", ">\n\nLove it.", ">\n\nUnintended benefits of relaxed Marijuana policies :)", ">\n\nUsace has not relaxed cannabis policies. No federal agency has", ">\n\nThey certainly have relaxed policy, even though federal law hasn't changed. It's legal in my state and the current administration has announced they won't be pursuing user level Marijuana charges at the federal level.\nWake up.", ">\n\nUSACE still falls under the same policies as the rest of the army. They're treated as DA civilians, and subject to periodic biochemical testing and the resultant consequences if they pee hot. The army has, and will not in the foreseeable future, relax any policy regarding marijuana.", ">\n\nAdorable idea; wish they had hired someone better at photoshop", ">\n\nIts a free gag calendar that was probably just put together by someone for fun in their spare time. Considering the state of infrastructure in the US I don't imagine the Corps of Engineers has a lot of extra spending money to throw around", ">\n\nIf they were smart, they would print it for us and sell it. I don't want a crappy calender that I printed on regular paper, I want the real thing and I would be glad to pay for it.", ">\n\nGenius!! This needs to be a trend. Reddit, make it so...", ">\n\nfuck yeah we finally gonna balance the budget", ">\n\nDecember's hilarious. I want this calender.", ">\n\nYou can totally tell that this is not real. The lighting on the cats is so obviously different than the environmental mistake. Pathetic effort infrastructure geeks.", ">\n\nSo they can blame cats for shoddy workmanship and lax maintenance.", ">\n\nDon't capitalize \"Of\" in titles", ">\n\nWish they'd focus on not taking eight years to permit a fucking project, those lazy excuses for engineers.", ">\n\nYou’re crazy dude. These peeps have built some amazing things. Extremely impressive.", ">\n\nThey used to.", ">\n\n😂", ">\n\nThis whole absurd thing is exactly my sense of humour. LOVE it.", ">\n\nOregon! I've seen the one at Detroit Dam. Sneaky bugger. Hangs out with Bigfoot.", ">\n\nI need this", ">\n\nThat's some adorable terrorism right there.", ">\n\nI remember seeing them, on quad bikes, with a lot of equipment, on Myrtle Beach beaches, I always wondered what they were doing...", ">\n\nI love this sequel to Beginning of the End!", ">\n\nIs there a way I can buy a physical version?", ">\n\nThey're Demo-cats!", ">\n\nAny recommendations of the best way to get this printed semi-professionally? I tried checking Costco photo centre but they make you use a template.", ">\n\nOf course it’s Portland.", ">\n\nKind of disappointing I can't actually buy a printed one. My daughter would love this.", ">\n\nA pretty good idea for a poster. Who doesn't like cats being cats?", ">\n\nI really wish I had become a part of the ACOE but my mother didn't want her only son in the military.", ">\n\nUsace has civilian positions you're employed by the army, but you don't go through basic", ">\n\nI hope they pay more than Nidec.", ">\n\nThanks for sharing! Downloaded and got my new Lock Screen wallpaper.", ">\n\nDecember is 🔥", ">\n\nObligatory Cat Dynamics", ">\n\nPoliticians will say this is the proof of the REAL reason of why our infrastructure is deteriorating, then vote in a measure to hire their friends and family to counter this threat.", ">\n\nI didnt know cats were domestic terrorists like Republicans. lol", ">\n\nThis is the only kind of apocalypse I could see myself getting excited about.", ">\n\nAugust a missed opportunity to have CAT Excavators.", ">\n\nYou have my attention.", ">\n\nSmart move", ">\n\nGod help us.", ">\n\nBest thing to come out of the Army post WWII.", ">\n\n🤔", ">\n\n\"Let's write a two paragraph article about something freely available on the internet and make absolutely no attempt to actually tell you where to find it\".", ">\n\nCatjira!", ">\n\nhilarious!", ">\n\nFinally", ">\n\nThis is the oniony-est story I’ve seen on here in a while", ">\n\nCant wait for the next spending bill to include cat proofing our infrastructure", ">\n\nHonestly… I’d buy it.", ">\n\nWish I would have heard of that in November or so. This seems unique, fun and a great idea for a calendar.", ">\n\nI heard about this from Last Podcast on the Left, glad to see it pop up on my feed with pictures!", ">\n\nI'm gonna need an NSN For that..." ]

[ "Imagine the work order. \nYour boss comes to you and says, \"Hey, you're in charge of the cats calendar.\"\n\"What calendar?\"\n\"The one with cats attacking infrastructure?\"\n\"What?\"", ">\n\nyou miss ONE day...", ">\n\nHail Vectron!", ">\n\nBy Vectron!", ">\n\nFor those yet to experience the holy might of Vectron's kindly claw", ">\n\nThank you. I had no idea.", ">\n\nYou are most welcome by Vectron", ">\n\nFor the love of all that is Vectron, your speech warms my Vectronic heart.", ">\n\nMay Vectron’s beard shed its benevolence upon us. 🙏🏻🙏🏻", ">\n\nAnd may all of his correspondence to us be sent Vectronically. So it is written, so shall it be done.", ">\n\nI live in Oregon and started to recognize a bunch of the dams, so I was like, “huh, that’s kinda cool.” Then I saw the text at the bottom of the first page. Portland District. Now a cat calendar makes perfect sense.", ">\n\nSame thing happened to me. I think I'm going to head to kinko's and have them print it out for me.", ">\n\nTell them you need to print some important official military documents before you show them what it is", ">\n\nDon’t forget to tell them you need it right meow!", ">\n\nWho will protect our infrastructure from this menace?", ">\n\nAn array of laser pointers.", ">\n\ncut to giant laser pointer satellite", ">\n\nomigod the jewish space lasers were real", ">\n\n*meowish space lasers", ">\n\nHey that's racist", ">\n\nI think it would be cheaper to buy a calendar than use the ink/toner required to print it.", ">\n\nThat's why you print it at work.", ">\n\nhaha true, oh wait I work from home...", ">\n\nIf you print from home for work you can write printer supplies off on your taxes :)", ">\n\nUh yes boss I needed a calendar, so… oh what? Use the company one? Ummm but the US army has a really nice one and I thought I’d be patriotic - what? Oh, yeah I know we’re in Canada, I just…", ">\n\nPortland is pretty much wannabe Vancouver, BC. I say it goes!", ">\n\nExactly what a Canadian would say...", ">\n\nGoodies, goodie goodie, yum yum.", ">\n\nI just scrolled until I found The Goodies reference but was wondering if I was going to find one at all.", ">\n\nIt's way down the list, isn't it? \n/knees hurt.", ">\n\nOw, my back! Get off my lawn!", ">\n\nOne engineer did it in his free time, and released it for use through the corps. \nThis was NOT government funded.", ">\n\nEven if it was government funded, I support this.", ">\n\nEven if it was government funded it would've been like maybe one day of pay at most? Not a ton for the amount of publicity they'll get that might make them even more money.", ">\n\nAssuming they already have the infrastructure pictures I would be surprised if it took more than 4 work hours. Also for chronically underfunded agencies that kind of PR is exactly how you get voters to convince the politicians to increase funds. I look forward to NASA figuring out how to photoshop giant cats playing with the planets like balls of yarn for their calendar", ">\n\n\nI look forward to NASA figuring out how to photoshop giant cats playing with the planets like balls of yarn for their calendar \n\nWell let me introduce you to the most bizarre social media messaging from an official U.S. government agency: The U.S. Consumer Product Safety Commission's Instagram feed. \nAnd before I catch any \"there's no way this is real\" replies, here's the Washington Post covering it: \n\nHow a federal bureaucrat uses astronaut babies and dogs riding pigeons to try to save your life", ">\n\nThis is rad!", ">\n\nCISA losing their shit rn", ">\n\nI would like one.", ">\n\nIt's a free PDF.", ">\n\nNo he would like one of the cats", ">\n\nyOu wOuLdN'T DoWnloAd a cAT", ">\n\nI can’t believe they included Sherlock getting knocked off a cliff. At least he didn’t jump this time.", ">\n\nI'm shocked that you're the only person I've seen comment on this so far! it's hilarious", ">\n\n\"Every year, dozens of cats attack important infrastructure for our country causing dozens of dollars of damage. Won't you help?\"", ">\n\nI heard this with Sarah McLoughlin's voice", ">\n\nArmy Cats", ">\n\nNow do it with pictures of our crumbling infrastructure.", ">\n\nThis seems like one of those things that is somehow going to age poorly given our Universe's current sense of irony. I don't know how exactly, but there's going to be some mass tragedy involving cats and a suspension bridge or something this year.", ">\n\nThe first image kind of reads like \"this infrastructure is super important so don't damage it\". The calendar almost seems like a shopping list for domestic terrorists or something lol.", ">\n\nI mean, pretty obvious that dams, substations, bridges and the like are good targets for chaos. Google maps gives you all this plus Police stations and everything, with photos and the address. Useless to worry about it", ">\n\nSeriously, anyone who unironicly think terrorists were waiting for a cat calendar to list a bunch of locations to bomb is paranoid about the wrong things.", ">\n\nCats would hunt and eat us if they were bigger than us", ">\n\nThey already do, they are called Tigers.", ">\n\nIf there were smaller tigers, we would keep them as pets, but they'd break all our stuff to prove they're still in charge.", ">\n\nThey already do, they are called Cats.", ">\n\nOH MY GOD!", ">\n\nMy tabby is a cute little tiger", ">\n\nI knew we had infrastructure challenges, but I didn't realize we were facing an infrastructure cat-astrophe!", ">\n\nTake my r/angryupvote", ">\n\nI love how shitty the photoshop is. Really ties it all together", ">\n\nYeah I like the idea--but the pictures chosen and color grading are all off. I'd like this idea better executed more professionally.", ">\n\nOh no I'm serious. The unprofessionalism is the best part. I would absolutely pay money for this", ">\n\nOnly only thing weirder is gonna be their crazy ass plan to save the infrastructure.", ">\n\nIt's the engineer Corp, they can build giant cat carriers.", ">\n\nI guess anything beats the 40 million they spend on viagra to keep the soldiers saluting.", ">\n\nThis is delightful", ">\n\ni was imagining mountain lions breaking in to dumpsters or something, not giant house cats gnawing on substations, not disappointed.", ">\n\nI don’t need a calendar now that our pocket rectangles handle all of that for us, but I really want this calendar.", ">\n\nIt is really convenient to just walk by my schedule versus having to pull it up, scroll, click and expand. I tend to forget about things if I don’t see it in front of me, but that’s just how my brain works. Plus if you’re on the phone trying to schedule something it’s nice to write it out too.", ">\n\nI'm sorry, we're already booked for giant spiders.", ">\n\nI personally kinda love this.", ">\n\nBest use of a miniscule amount of our tax dollars in the entire US $1.7T budget. US Army Corp wins the internet today!", ">\n\nHonestly, the entire army corps of engineers may be one of highest rates of return on public good vs funding", ">\n\nSeriously. They do a shit ton of quality and important public work on a relatively shoe-string budget for engineering. I have a lot of respect for the people that work at the USACOE.", ">\n\nSeptember, now that one is art", ">\n\nHaters will say it's Photoshop.", ">\n\nThey’ve never seen Catzilla.", ">\n\nHero of the Week! Hail yourself!", ">\n\nThere it is!", ">\n\n\nThe Army Corps Of Engineers Has Released a 2023 Calendar Of Giant Cats Attacking <\n\nr/brand new sentence \nAlso, giant cats attacking infrastructure is so 2020. In 2023 it just sounds silly.", ">\n\nSeptember ❤️", ">\n\nOmg. I love this. Especially the text blurbs on the pictures. Very funny and adorable!", ">\n\nSounds like they understand cats are required if you want social media traction", ">\n\nI have never wanted to buy a calendar more than I do now!", ">\n\nOn the one hand, I applaud the idea.\nOn the other hand, the photoshop skills look like they came from the army corps of engineers.", ">\n\nWould you actually want them to look like they were perfectly matched to each environment? I'm pretty sure the comedic effect is all that matters here.\nAnd besides, it was just one engineer that created this on their spare time, rather than an official ACE production.", ">\n\nI was mainly being a bit snarky because the internet. That, and what I said was objectively true.", ">\n\nCan confirm, the Corps of Engineers fuckkkkks", ">\n\nGoddammit I just bought my 2023 calendar too lol", ">\n\nThat’s cute though, not worrisome like a lot of other r/nottheonion posts.", ">\n\nAs ever, the Army Corps of Engineers are the one branch of the US state that can get the important shit done", ">\n\nFrom the comments ITT it's evident that most people are unaware of how important they are to the lives of the majority of productive people in this country (people who live near a coastline or a major body of water). It's not just dams and rivers, it's the actual physical coastline of america that they look after.", ">\n\nYup, it seems double edged- people think oh, they're the army corps and assumes they must be doing only military stuff. But equally if it was civilianised no doubt it'd be a target for cuts. An incredible org, regardless. And whether it's cats or weather or warming or the collapse of neglected infrastructure they're going to get more and more important so it's a damn good thing they exist because in 2023, nobody would invent them...", ">\n\nUSACE is an agency that is funded by the DOD but is vastly ran by civilians. There are very few enlisted or commissioned people in the army corps.", ">\n\nOK this is a thing and this is awesome", ">\n\nOops, I had \"Zombie Redneck Torture Family\" in the betting pool.", ">\n\nGrumble. Never gonna see a merman...", ">\n\nUSACE Portland District is one of the absolute best public sector social media presences out there. Seriously. Check it out.", ">\n\nCats in military pictures is an entire IG channel", ">\n\nGood boot", ">\n\nCommand team must be TDY", ">\n\nThat was even better than the title made me think it would be.", ">\n\nI support my tax dollars going to causes such as this.", ">\n\nFinally tax dollars doing something good", ">\n\nI’m kind of disappointed. From the title, I thought there would be photos of actual big cats attacking infrastructure, not photoshopped domestic cats. Anyone have a photo of a puma going after an electrical substation? Or a tiger gnawing on a water line?", ">\n\nNo. No one has that. Would be very interesting though to compile a calendar like that. Peace brother.", ">\n\nGreat, now I need a color printer.\nSeriously, thank you u/radioman8414!", ">\n\nThis is how I want my tax money spent. Downloaded and put up in my office!", ">\n\nThe regional social media guy who put this together is constantly hilarious", ">\n\nGreatest calendar of 2023.", ">\n\nI need one of these for my office! I've worked on some of these dams!", ">\n\nCan I ask you some dam questions?? I’m sure you know a lot of dam information. I’m sure all of us would love some dam stories. Thank you.", ">\n\nSure way to have a more interesting calendar than just infrastructure.", ">\n\nI would so adopt one if they existed.", ">\n\nI've heard army corps of engineers are very difficult to house train. May want to consider before adopting one.", ">\n\nTouché.", ">\n\nThat's amazing, thank you for posting it!", ">\n\nIs there anywhere to buy a nice physical copy of the calendar?", ">\n\nThose cats are mind-controlled by taxoplasmosis alien ameobas!", ">\n\nI was thinking this was gonna be mountain lions taking out maintenance huts or something like that. This is so much better", ">\n\nI’m the daughter of a former Portland, Oregon, US Army Corps Engineer, and I can confirm they are a strange crew. It makes me view the dams on the Columbia River fondly?", ">\n\nI love this so much.", ">\n\nDude. Awesome.", ">\n\nI love this! My astronomy teacher once did a talk on space cats. It was hysterical. Out of the blue he showed us pictures of space with cats added in. He felt we needed a fun class for laughs. I want this calendar.", ">\n\nThis would be really cool if they got a decent digital artist. But they didn't, they used photoshop about as well as I can.", ">\n\nI think that adds to the charm", ">\n\nDon't even need to see it, where can I buy it", ">\n\nFrom the link - \"Because the Army Corps is a Government Agency, the calendar is in public domain and totally free to download and print\"", ">\n\nThis is so funny, because it’s my Dad’s old workplace (from 1971 until he retired). My father, however, has zero sense of humor so he’d never work on something like this.", ">\n\nI met a guy from the Army Corps of Engineers when I worked for the EPA. Smartest guy I've ever met and the 2nd most hippe like person I've ever met. I'd like to think he had something to do with this idea.", ">\n\nFinally the massive military budget of the US is put to good use.", ">\n\nThis is awesome. I might have to buy one.", ">\n\nNo need. It's free, though you have to print it yourself if you want a physical copy", ">\n\nThis is so adorable! I approve wholeheartedly.", ">\n\nIt's about time.", ">\n\nSappers lead the way", ">\n\nI have so much love for this.", ">\n\nEhisssayons.", ">\n\nLove it.", ">\n\nUnintended benefits of relaxed Marijuana policies :)", ">\n\nUsace has not relaxed cannabis policies. No federal agency has", ">\n\nThey certainly have relaxed policy, even though federal law hasn't changed. It's legal in my state and the current administration has announced they won't be pursuing user level Marijuana charges at the federal level.\nWake up.", ">\n\nUSACE still falls under the same policies as the rest of the army. They're treated as DA civilians, and subject to periodic biochemical testing and the resultant consequences if they pee hot. The army has, and will not in the foreseeable future, relax any policy regarding marijuana.", ">\n\nAdorable idea; wish they had hired someone better at photoshop", ">\n\nIts a free gag calendar that was probably just put together by someone for fun in their spare time. Considering the state of infrastructure in the US I don't imagine the Corps of Engineers has a lot of extra spending money to throw around", ">\n\nIf they were smart, they would print it for us and sell it. I don't want a crappy calender that I printed on regular paper, I want the real thing and I would be glad to pay for it.", ">\n\nGenius!! This needs to be a trend. Reddit, make it so...", ">\n\nfuck yeah we finally gonna balance the budget", ">\n\nDecember's hilarious. I want this calender.", ">\n\nYou can totally tell that this is not real. The lighting on the cats is so obviously different than the environmental mistake. Pathetic effort infrastructure geeks.", ">\n\nSo they can blame cats for shoddy workmanship and lax maintenance.", ">\n\nDon't capitalize \"Of\" in titles", ">\n\nWish they'd focus on not taking eight years to permit a fucking project, those lazy excuses for engineers.", ">\n\nYou’re crazy dude. These peeps have built some amazing things. Extremely impressive.", ">\n\nThey used to.", ">\n\n😂", ">\n\nThis whole absurd thing is exactly my sense of humour. LOVE it.", ">\n\nOregon! I've seen the one at Detroit Dam. Sneaky bugger. Hangs out with Bigfoot.", ">\n\nI need this", ">\n\nThat's some adorable terrorism right there.", ">\n\nI remember seeing them, on quad bikes, with a lot of equipment, on Myrtle Beach beaches, I always wondered what they were doing...", ">\n\nI love this sequel to Beginning of the End!", ">\n\nIs there a way I can buy a physical version?", ">\n\nThey're Demo-cats!", ">\n\nAny recommendations of the best way to get this printed semi-professionally? I tried checking Costco photo centre but they make you use a template.", ">\n\nOf course it’s Portland.", ">\n\nKind of disappointing I can't actually buy a printed one. My daughter would love this.", ">\n\nA pretty good idea for a poster. Who doesn't like cats being cats?", ">\n\nI really wish I had become a part of the ACOE but my mother didn't want her only son in the military.", ">\n\nUsace has civilian positions you're employed by the army, but you don't go through basic", ">\n\nI hope they pay more than Nidec.", ">\n\nThanks for sharing! Downloaded and got my new Lock Screen wallpaper.", ">\n\nDecember is 🔥", ">\n\nObligatory Cat Dynamics", ">\n\nPoliticians will say this is the proof of the REAL reason of why our infrastructure is deteriorating, then vote in a measure to hire their friends and family to counter this threat.", ">\n\nI didnt know cats were domestic terrorists like Republicans. lol", ">\n\nThis is the only kind of apocalypse I could see myself getting excited about.", ">\n\nAugust a missed opportunity to have CAT Excavators.", ">\n\nYou have my attention.", ">\n\nSmart move", ">\n\nGod help us.", ">\n\nBest thing to come out of the Army post WWII.", ">\n\n🤔", ">\n\n\"Let's write a two paragraph article about something freely available on the internet and make absolutely no attempt to actually tell you where to find it\".", ">\n\nCatjira!", ">\n\nhilarious!", ">\n\nFinally", ">\n\nThis is the oniony-est story I’ve seen on here in a while", ">\n\nCant wait for the next spending bill to include cat proofing our infrastructure", ">\n\nHonestly… I’d buy it.", ">\n\nWish I would have heard of that in November or so. This seems unique, fun and a great idea for a calendar.", ">\n\nI heard about this from Last Podcast on the Left, glad to see it pop up on my feed with pictures!", ">\n\nI'm gonna need an NSN For that...", ">\n\nOf course it’s the Portland District" ]

[ "Imagine the work order. \nYour boss comes to you and says, \"Hey, you're in charge of the cats calendar.\"\n\"What calendar?\"\n\"The one with cats attacking infrastructure?\"\n\"What?\"", ">\n\nyou miss ONE day...", ">\n\nHail Vectron!", ">\n\nBy Vectron!", ">\n\nFor those yet to experience the holy might of Vectron's kindly claw", ">\n\nThank you. I had no idea.", ">\n\nYou are most welcome by Vectron", ">\n\nFor the love of all that is Vectron, your speech warms my Vectronic heart.", ">\n\nMay Vectron’s beard shed its benevolence upon us. 🙏🏻🙏🏻", ">\n\nAnd may all of his correspondence to us be sent Vectronically. So it is written, so shall it be done.", ">\n\nI live in Oregon and started to recognize a bunch of the dams, so I was like, “huh, that’s kinda cool.” Then I saw the text at the bottom of the first page. Portland District. Now a cat calendar makes perfect sense.", ">\n\nSame thing happened to me. I think I'm going to head to kinko's and have them print it out for me.", ">\n\nTell them you need to print some important official military documents before you show them what it is", ">\n\nDon’t forget to tell them you need it right meow!", ">\n\nWho will protect our infrastructure from this menace?", ">\n\nAn array of laser pointers.", ">\n\ncut to giant laser pointer satellite", ">\n\nomigod the jewish space lasers were real", ">\n\n*meowish space lasers", ">\n\nHey that's racist", ">\n\nI think it would be cheaper to buy a calendar than use the ink/toner required to print it.", ">\n\nThat's why you print it at work.", ">\n\nhaha true, oh wait I work from home...", ">\n\nIf you print from home for work you can write printer supplies off on your taxes :)", ">\n\nUh yes boss I needed a calendar, so… oh what? Use the company one? Ummm but the US army has a really nice one and I thought I’d be patriotic - what? Oh, yeah I know we’re in Canada, I just…", ">\n\nPortland is pretty much wannabe Vancouver, BC. I say it goes!", ">\n\nExactly what a Canadian would say...", ">\n\nGoodies, goodie goodie, yum yum.", ">\n\nI just scrolled until I found The Goodies reference but was wondering if I was going to find one at all.", ">\n\nIt's way down the list, isn't it? \n/knees hurt.", ">\n\nOw, my back! Get off my lawn!", ">\n\nOne engineer did it in his free time, and released it for use through the corps. \nThis was NOT government funded.", ">\n\nEven if it was government funded, I support this.", ">\n\nEven if it was government funded it would've been like maybe one day of pay at most? Not a ton for the amount of publicity they'll get that might make them even more money.", ">\n\nAssuming they already have the infrastructure pictures I would be surprised if it took more than 4 work hours. Also for chronically underfunded agencies that kind of PR is exactly how you get voters to convince the politicians to increase funds. I look forward to NASA figuring out how to photoshop giant cats playing with the planets like balls of yarn for their calendar", ">\n\n\nI look forward to NASA figuring out how to photoshop giant cats playing with the planets like balls of yarn for their calendar \n\nWell let me introduce you to the most bizarre social media messaging from an official U.S. government agency: The U.S. Consumer Product Safety Commission's Instagram feed. \nAnd before I catch any \"there's no way this is real\" replies, here's the Washington Post covering it: \n\nHow a federal bureaucrat uses astronaut babies and dogs riding pigeons to try to save your life", ">\n\nThis is rad!", ">\n\nCISA losing their shit rn", ">\n\nI would like one.", ">\n\nIt's a free PDF.", ">\n\nNo he would like one of the cats", ">\n\nyOu wOuLdN'T DoWnloAd a cAT", ">\n\nI can’t believe they included Sherlock getting knocked off a cliff. At least he didn’t jump this time.", ">\n\nI'm shocked that you're the only person I've seen comment on this so far! it's hilarious", ">\n\n\"Every year, dozens of cats attack important infrastructure for our country causing dozens of dollars of damage. Won't you help?\"", ">\n\nI heard this with Sarah McLoughlin's voice", ">\n\nArmy Cats", ">\n\nNow do it with pictures of our crumbling infrastructure.", ">\n\nThis seems like one of those things that is somehow going to age poorly given our Universe's current sense of irony. I don't know how exactly, but there's going to be some mass tragedy involving cats and a suspension bridge or something this year.", ">\n\nThe first image kind of reads like \"this infrastructure is super important so don't damage it\". The calendar almost seems like a shopping list for domestic terrorists or something lol.", ">\n\nI mean, pretty obvious that dams, substations, bridges and the like are good targets for chaos. Google maps gives you all this plus Police stations and everything, with photos and the address. Useless to worry about it", ">\n\nSeriously, anyone who unironicly think terrorists were waiting for a cat calendar to list a bunch of locations to bomb is paranoid about the wrong things.", ">\n\nCats would hunt and eat us if they were bigger than us", ">\n\nThey already do, they are called Tigers.", ">\n\nIf there were smaller tigers, we would keep them as pets, but they'd break all our stuff to prove they're still in charge.", ">\n\nThey already do, they are called Cats.", ">\n\nOH MY GOD!", ">\n\nMy tabby is a cute little tiger", ">\n\nI knew we had infrastructure challenges, but I didn't realize we were facing an infrastructure cat-astrophe!", ">\n\nTake my r/angryupvote", ">\n\nI love how shitty the photoshop is. Really ties it all together", ">\n\nYeah I like the idea--but the pictures chosen and color grading are all off. I'd like this idea better executed more professionally.", ">\n\nOh no I'm serious. The unprofessionalism is the best part. I would absolutely pay money for this", ">\n\nOnly only thing weirder is gonna be their crazy ass plan to save the infrastructure.", ">\n\nIt's the engineer Corp, they can build giant cat carriers.", ">\n\nI guess anything beats the 40 million they spend on viagra to keep the soldiers saluting.", ">\n\nThis is delightful", ">\n\ni was imagining mountain lions breaking in to dumpsters or something, not giant house cats gnawing on substations, not disappointed.", ">\n\nI don’t need a calendar now that our pocket rectangles handle all of that for us, but I really want this calendar.", ">\n\nIt is really convenient to just walk by my schedule versus having to pull it up, scroll, click and expand. I tend to forget about things if I don’t see it in front of me, but that’s just how my brain works. Plus if you’re on the phone trying to schedule something it’s nice to write it out too.", ">\n\nI'm sorry, we're already booked for giant spiders.", ">\n\nI personally kinda love this.", ">\n\nBest use of a miniscule amount of our tax dollars in the entire US $1.7T budget. US Army Corp wins the internet today!", ">\n\nHonestly, the entire army corps of engineers may be one of highest rates of return on public good vs funding", ">\n\nSeriously. They do a shit ton of quality and important public work on a relatively shoe-string budget for engineering. I have a lot of respect for the people that work at the USACOE.", ">\n\nSeptember, now that one is art", ">\n\nHaters will say it's Photoshop.", ">\n\nThey’ve never seen Catzilla.", ">\n\nHero of the Week! Hail yourself!", ">\n\nThere it is!", ">\n\n\nThe Army Corps Of Engineers Has Released a 2023 Calendar Of Giant Cats Attacking <\n\nr/brand new sentence \nAlso, giant cats attacking infrastructure is so 2020. In 2023 it just sounds silly.", ">\n\nSeptember ❤️", ">\n\nOmg. I love this. Especially the text blurbs on the pictures. Very funny and adorable!", ">\n\nSounds like they understand cats are required if you want social media traction", ">\n\nI have never wanted to buy a calendar more than I do now!", ">\n\nOn the one hand, I applaud the idea.\nOn the other hand, the photoshop skills look like they came from the army corps of engineers.", ">\n\nWould you actually want them to look like they were perfectly matched to each environment? I'm pretty sure the comedic effect is all that matters here.\nAnd besides, it was just one engineer that created this on their spare time, rather than an official ACE production.", ">\n\nI was mainly being a bit snarky because the internet. That, and what I said was objectively true.", ">\n\nCan confirm, the Corps of Engineers fuckkkkks", ">\n\nGoddammit I just bought my 2023 calendar too lol", ">\n\nThat’s cute though, not worrisome like a lot of other r/nottheonion posts.", ">\n\nAs ever, the Army Corps of Engineers are the one branch of the US state that can get the important shit done", ">\n\nFrom the comments ITT it's evident that most people are unaware of how important they are to the lives of the majority of productive people in this country (people who live near a coastline or a major body of water). It's not just dams and rivers, it's the actual physical coastline of america that they look after.", ">\n\nYup, it seems double edged- people think oh, they're the army corps and assumes they must be doing only military stuff. But equally if it was civilianised no doubt it'd be a target for cuts. An incredible org, regardless. And whether it's cats or weather or warming or the collapse of neglected infrastructure they're going to get more and more important so it's a damn good thing they exist because in 2023, nobody would invent them...", ">\n\nUSACE is an agency that is funded by the DOD but is vastly ran by civilians. There are very few enlisted or commissioned people in the army corps.", ">\n\nOK this is a thing and this is awesome", ">\n\nOops, I had \"Zombie Redneck Torture Family\" in the betting pool.", ">\n\nGrumble. Never gonna see a merman...", ">\n\nUSACE Portland District is one of the absolute best public sector social media presences out there. Seriously. Check it out.", ">\n\nCats in military pictures is an entire IG channel", ">\n\nGood boot", ">\n\nCommand team must be TDY", ">\n\nThat was even better than the title made me think it would be.", ">\n\nI support my tax dollars going to causes such as this.", ">\n\nFinally tax dollars doing something good", ">\n\nI’m kind of disappointed. From the title, I thought there would be photos of actual big cats attacking infrastructure, not photoshopped domestic cats. Anyone have a photo of a puma going after an electrical substation? Or a tiger gnawing on a water line?", ">\n\nNo. No one has that. Would be very interesting though to compile a calendar like that. Peace brother.", ">\n\nGreat, now I need a color printer.\nSeriously, thank you u/radioman8414!", ">\n\nThis is how I want my tax money spent. Downloaded and put up in my office!", ">\n\nThe regional social media guy who put this together is constantly hilarious", ">\n\nGreatest calendar of 2023.", ">\n\nI need one of these for my office! I've worked on some of these dams!", ">\n\nCan I ask you some dam questions?? I’m sure you know a lot of dam information. I’m sure all of us would love some dam stories. Thank you.", ">\n\nSure way to have a more interesting calendar than just infrastructure.", ">\n\nI would so adopt one if they existed.", ">\n\nI've heard army corps of engineers are very difficult to house train. May want to consider before adopting one.", ">\n\nTouché.", ">\n\nThat's amazing, thank you for posting it!", ">\n\nIs there anywhere to buy a nice physical copy of the calendar?", ">\n\nThose cats are mind-controlled by taxoplasmosis alien ameobas!", ">\n\nI was thinking this was gonna be mountain lions taking out maintenance huts or something like that. This is so much better", ">\n\nI’m the daughter of a former Portland, Oregon, US Army Corps Engineer, and I can confirm they are a strange crew. It makes me view the dams on the Columbia River fondly?", ">\n\nI love this so much.", ">\n\nDude. Awesome.", ">\n\nI love this! My astronomy teacher once did a talk on space cats. It was hysterical. Out of the blue he showed us pictures of space with cats added in. He felt we needed a fun class for laughs. I want this calendar.", ">\n\nThis would be really cool if they got a decent digital artist. But they didn't, they used photoshop about as well as I can.", ">\n\nI think that adds to the charm", ">\n\nDon't even need to see it, where can I buy it", ">\n\nFrom the link - \"Because the Army Corps is a Government Agency, the calendar is in public domain and totally free to download and print\"", ">\n\nThis is so funny, because it’s my Dad’s old workplace (from 1971 until he retired). My father, however, has zero sense of humor so he’d never work on something like this.", ">\n\nI met a guy from the Army Corps of Engineers when I worked for the EPA. Smartest guy I've ever met and the 2nd most hippe like person I've ever met. I'd like to think he had something to do with this idea.", ">\n\nFinally the massive military budget of the US is put to good use.", ">\n\nThis is awesome. I might have to buy one.", ">\n\nNo need. It's free, though you have to print it yourself if you want a physical copy", ">\n\nThis is so adorable! I approve wholeheartedly.", ">\n\nIt's about time.", ">\n\nSappers lead the way", ">\n\nI have so much love for this.", ">\n\nEhisssayons.", ">\n\nLove it.", ">\n\nUnintended benefits of relaxed Marijuana policies :)", ">\n\nUsace has not relaxed cannabis policies. No federal agency has", ">\n\nThey certainly have relaxed policy, even though federal law hasn't changed. It's legal in my state and the current administration has announced they won't be pursuing user level Marijuana charges at the federal level.\nWake up.", ">\n\nUSACE still falls under the same policies as the rest of the army. They're treated as DA civilians, and subject to periodic biochemical testing and the resultant consequences if they pee hot. The army has, and will not in the foreseeable future, relax any policy regarding marijuana.", ">\n\nAdorable idea; wish they had hired someone better at photoshop", ">\n\nIts a free gag calendar that was probably just put together by someone for fun in their spare time. Considering the state of infrastructure in the US I don't imagine the Corps of Engineers has a lot of extra spending money to throw around", ">\n\nIf they were smart, they would print it for us and sell it. I don't want a crappy calender that I printed on regular paper, I want the real thing and I would be glad to pay for it.", ">\n\nGenius!! This needs to be a trend. Reddit, make it so...", ">\n\nfuck yeah we finally gonna balance the budget", ">\n\nDecember's hilarious. I want this calender.", ">\n\nYou can totally tell that this is not real. The lighting on the cats is so obviously different than the environmental mistake. Pathetic effort infrastructure geeks.", ">\n\nSo they can blame cats for shoddy workmanship and lax maintenance.", ">\n\nDon't capitalize \"Of\" in titles", ">\n\nWish they'd focus on not taking eight years to permit a fucking project, those lazy excuses for engineers.", ">\n\nYou’re crazy dude. These peeps have built some amazing things. Extremely impressive.", ">\n\nThey used to.", ">\n\n😂", ">\n\nThis whole absurd thing is exactly my sense of humour. LOVE it.", ">\n\nOregon! I've seen the one at Detroit Dam. Sneaky bugger. Hangs out with Bigfoot.", ">\n\nI need this", ">\n\nThat's some adorable terrorism right there.", ">\n\nI remember seeing them, on quad bikes, with a lot of equipment, on Myrtle Beach beaches, I always wondered what they were doing...", ">\n\nI love this sequel to Beginning of the End!", ">\n\nIs there a way I can buy a physical version?", ">\n\nThey're Demo-cats!", ">\n\nAny recommendations of the best way to get this printed semi-professionally? I tried checking Costco photo centre but they make you use a template.", ">\n\nOf course it’s Portland.", ">\n\nKind of disappointing I can't actually buy a printed one. My daughter would love this.", ">\n\nA pretty good idea for a poster. Who doesn't like cats being cats?", ">\n\nI really wish I had become a part of the ACOE but my mother didn't want her only son in the military.", ">\n\nUsace has civilian positions you're employed by the army, but you don't go through basic", ">\n\nI hope they pay more than Nidec.", ">\n\nThanks for sharing! Downloaded and got my new Lock Screen wallpaper.", ">\n\nDecember is 🔥", ">\n\nObligatory Cat Dynamics", ">\n\nPoliticians will say this is the proof of the REAL reason of why our infrastructure is deteriorating, then vote in a measure to hire their friends and family to counter this threat.", ">\n\nI didnt know cats were domestic terrorists like Republicans. lol", ">\n\nThis is the only kind of apocalypse I could see myself getting excited about.", ">\n\nAugust a missed opportunity to have CAT Excavators.", ">\n\nYou have my attention.", ">\n\nSmart move", ">\n\nGod help us.", ">\n\nBest thing to come out of the Army post WWII.", ">\n\n🤔", ">\n\n\"Let's write a two paragraph article about something freely available on the internet and make absolutely no attempt to actually tell you where to find it\".", ">\n\nCatjira!", ">\n\nhilarious!", ">\n\nFinally", ">\n\nThis is the oniony-est story I’ve seen on here in a while", ">\n\nCant wait for the next spending bill to include cat proofing our infrastructure", ">\n\nHonestly… I’d buy it.", ">\n\nWish I would have heard of that in November or so. This seems unique, fun and a great idea for a calendar.", ">\n\nI heard about this from Last Podcast on the Left, glad to see it pop up on my feed with pictures!", ">\n\nI'm gonna need an NSN For that...", ">\n\nOf course it’s the Portland District", ">\n\nHonestly this is worth buying" ]

[ "Imagine the work order. \nYour boss comes to you and says, \"Hey, you're in charge of the cats calendar.\"\n\"What calendar?\"\n\"The one with cats attacking infrastructure?\"\n\"What?\"", ">\n\nyou miss ONE day...", ">\n\nHail Vectron!", ">\n\nBy Vectron!", ">\n\nFor those yet to experience the holy might of Vectron's kindly claw", ">\n\nThank you. I had no idea.", ">\n\nYou are most welcome by Vectron", ">\n\nFor the love of all that is Vectron, your speech warms my Vectronic heart.", ">\n\nMay Vectron’s beard shed its benevolence upon us. 🙏🏻🙏🏻", ">\n\nAnd may all of his correspondence to us be sent Vectronically. So it is written, so shall it be done.", ">\n\nI live in Oregon and started to recognize a bunch of the dams, so I was like, “huh, that’s kinda cool.” Then I saw the text at the bottom of the first page. Portland District. Now a cat calendar makes perfect sense.", ">\n\nSame thing happened to me. I think I'm going to head to kinko's and have them print it out for me.", ">\n\nTell them you need to print some important official military documents before you show them what it is", ">\n\nDon’t forget to tell them you need it right meow!", ">\n\nWho will protect our infrastructure from this menace?", ">\n\nAn array of laser pointers.", ">\n\ncut to giant laser pointer satellite", ">\n\nomigod the jewish space lasers were real", ">\n\n*meowish space lasers", ">\n\nHey that's racist", ">\n\nI think it would be cheaper to buy a calendar than use the ink/toner required to print it.", ">\n\nThat's why you print it at work.", ">\n\nhaha true, oh wait I work from home...", ">\n\nIf you print from home for work you can write printer supplies off on your taxes :)", ">\n\nUh yes boss I needed a calendar, so… oh what? Use the company one? Ummm but the US army has a really nice one and I thought I’d be patriotic - what? Oh, yeah I know we’re in Canada, I just…", ">\n\nPortland is pretty much wannabe Vancouver, BC. I say it goes!", ">\n\nExactly what a Canadian would say...", ">\n\nGoodies, goodie goodie, yum yum.", ">\n\nI just scrolled until I found The Goodies reference but was wondering if I was going to find one at all.", ">\n\nIt's way down the list, isn't it? \n/knees hurt.", ">\n\nOw, my back! Get off my lawn!", ">\n\nOne engineer did it in his free time, and released it for use through the corps. \nThis was NOT government funded.", ">\n\nEven if it was government funded, I support this.", ">\n\nEven if it was government funded it would've been like maybe one day of pay at most? Not a ton for the amount of publicity they'll get that might make them even more money.", ">\n\nAssuming they already have the infrastructure pictures I would be surprised if it took more than 4 work hours. Also for chronically underfunded agencies that kind of PR is exactly how you get voters to convince the politicians to increase funds. I look forward to NASA figuring out how to photoshop giant cats playing with the planets like balls of yarn for their calendar", ">\n\n\nI look forward to NASA figuring out how to photoshop giant cats playing with the planets like balls of yarn for their calendar \n\nWell let me introduce you to the most bizarre social media messaging from an official U.S. government agency: The U.S. Consumer Product Safety Commission's Instagram feed. \nAnd before I catch any \"there's no way this is real\" replies, here's the Washington Post covering it: \n\nHow a federal bureaucrat uses astronaut babies and dogs riding pigeons to try to save your life", ">\n\nThis is rad!", ">\n\nCISA losing their shit rn", ">\n\nI would like one.", ">\n\nIt's a free PDF.", ">\n\nNo he would like one of the cats", ">\n\nyOu wOuLdN'T DoWnloAd a cAT", ">\n\nI can’t believe they included Sherlock getting knocked off a cliff. At least he didn’t jump this time.", ">\n\nI'm shocked that you're the only person I've seen comment on this so far! it's hilarious", ">\n\n\"Every year, dozens of cats attack important infrastructure for our country causing dozens of dollars of damage. Won't you help?\"", ">\n\nI heard this with Sarah McLoughlin's voice", ">\n\nArmy Cats", ">\n\nNow do it with pictures of our crumbling infrastructure.", ">\n\nThis seems like one of those things that is somehow going to age poorly given our Universe's current sense of irony. I don't know how exactly, but there's going to be some mass tragedy involving cats and a suspension bridge or something this year.", ">\n\nThe first image kind of reads like \"this infrastructure is super important so don't damage it\". The calendar almost seems like a shopping list for domestic terrorists or something lol.", ">\n\nI mean, pretty obvious that dams, substations, bridges and the like are good targets for chaos. Google maps gives you all this plus Police stations and everything, with photos and the address. Useless to worry about it", ">\n\nSeriously, anyone who unironicly think terrorists were waiting for a cat calendar to list a bunch of locations to bomb is paranoid about the wrong things.", ">\n\nCats would hunt and eat us if they were bigger than us", ">\n\nThey already do, they are called Tigers.", ">\n\nIf there were smaller tigers, we would keep them as pets, but they'd break all our stuff to prove they're still in charge.", ">\n\nThey already do, they are called Cats.", ">\n\nOH MY GOD!", ">\n\nMy tabby is a cute little tiger", ">\n\nI knew we had infrastructure challenges, but I didn't realize we were facing an infrastructure cat-astrophe!", ">\n\nTake my r/angryupvote", ">\n\nI love how shitty the photoshop is. Really ties it all together", ">\n\nYeah I like the idea--but the pictures chosen and color grading are all off. I'd like this idea better executed more professionally.", ">\n\nOh no I'm serious. The unprofessionalism is the best part. I would absolutely pay money for this", ">\n\nOnly only thing weirder is gonna be their crazy ass plan to save the infrastructure.", ">\n\nIt's the engineer Corp, they can build giant cat carriers.", ">\n\nI guess anything beats the 40 million they spend on viagra to keep the soldiers saluting.", ">\n\nThis is delightful", ">\n\ni was imagining mountain lions breaking in to dumpsters or something, not giant house cats gnawing on substations, not disappointed.", ">\n\nI don’t need a calendar now that our pocket rectangles handle all of that for us, but I really want this calendar.", ">\n\nIt is really convenient to just walk by my schedule versus having to pull it up, scroll, click and expand. I tend to forget about things if I don’t see it in front of me, but that’s just how my brain works. Plus if you’re on the phone trying to schedule something it’s nice to write it out too.", ">\n\nI'm sorry, we're already booked for giant spiders.", ">\n\nI personally kinda love this.", ">\n\nBest use of a miniscule amount of our tax dollars in the entire US $1.7T budget. US Army Corp wins the internet today!", ">\n\nHonestly, the entire army corps of engineers may be one of highest rates of return on public good vs funding", ">\n\nSeriously. They do a shit ton of quality and important public work on a relatively shoe-string budget for engineering. I have a lot of respect for the people that work at the USACOE.", ">\n\nSeptember, now that one is art", ">\n\nHaters will say it's Photoshop.", ">\n\nThey’ve never seen Catzilla.", ">\n\nHero of the Week! Hail yourself!", ">\n\nThere it is!", ">\n\n\nThe Army Corps Of Engineers Has Released a 2023 Calendar Of Giant Cats Attacking <\n\nr/brand new sentence \nAlso, giant cats attacking infrastructure is so 2020. In 2023 it just sounds silly.", ">\n\nSeptember ❤️", ">\n\nOmg. I love this. Especially the text blurbs on the pictures. Very funny and adorable!", ">\n\nSounds like they understand cats are required if you want social media traction", ">\n\nI have never wanted to buy a calendar more than I do now!", ">\n\nOn the one hand, I applaud the idea.\nOn the other hand, the photoshop skills look like they came from the army corps of engineers.", ">\n\nWould you actually want them to look like they were perfectly matched to each environment? I'm pretty sure the comedic effect is all that matters here.\nAnd besides, it was just one engineer that created this on their spare time, rather than an official ACE production.", ">\n\nI was mainly being a bit snarky because the internet. That, and what I said was objectively true.", ">\n\nCan confirm, the Corps of Engineers fuckkkkks", ">\n\nGoddammit I just bought my 2023 calendar too lol", ">\n\nThat’s cute though, not worrisome like a lot of other r/nottheonion posts.", ">\n\nAs ever, the Army Corps of Engineers are the one branch of the US state that can get the important shit done", ">\n\nFrom the comments ITT it's evident that most people are unaware of how important they are to the lives of the majority of productive people in this country (people who live near a coastline or a major body of water). It's not just dams and rivers, it's the actual physical coastline of america that they look after.", ">\n\nYup, it seems double edged- people think oh, they're the army corps and assumes they must be doing only military stuff. But equally if it was civilianised no doubt it'd be a target for cuts. An incredible org, regardless. And whether it's cats or weather or warming or the collapse of neglected infrastructure they're going to get more and more important so it's a damn good thing they exist because in 2023, nobody would invent them...", ">\n\nUSACE is an agency that is funded by the DOD but is vastly ran by civilians. There are very few enlisted or commissioned people in the army corps.", ">\n\nOK this is a thing and this is awesome", ">\n\nOops, I had \"Zombie Redneck Torture Family\" in the betting pool.", ">\n\nGrumble. Never gonna see a merman...", ">\n\nUSACE Portland District is one of the absolute best public sector social media presences out there. Seriously. Check it out.", ">\n\nCats in military pictures is an entire IG channel", ">\n\nGood boot", ">\n\nCommand team must be TDY", ">\n\nThat was even better than the title made me think it would be.", ">\n\nI support my tax dollars going to causes such as this.", ">\n\nFinally tax dollars doing something good", ">\n\nI’m kind of disappointed. From the title, I thought there would be photos of actual big cats attacking infrastructure, not photoshopped domestic cats. Anyone have a photo of a puma going after an electrical substation? Or a tiger gnawing on a water line?", ">\n\nNo. No one has that. Would be very interesting though to compile a calendar like that. Peace brother.", ">\n\nGreat, now I need a color printer.\nSeriously, thank you u/radioman8414!", ">\n\nThis is how I want my tax money spent. Downloaded and put up in my office!", ">\n\nThe regional social media guy who put this together is constantly hilarious", ">\n\nGreatest calendar of 2023.", ">\n\nI need one of these for my office! I've worked on some of these dams!", ">\n\nCan I ask you some dam questions?? I’m sure you know a lot of dam information. I’m sure all of us would love some dam stories. Thank you.", ">\n\nSure way to have a more interesting calendar than just infrastructure.", ">\n\nI would so adopt one if they existed.", ">\n\nI've heard army corps of engineers are very difficult to house train. May want to consider before adopting one.", ">\n\nTouché.", ">\n\nThat's amazing, thank you for posting it!", ">\n\nIs there anywhere to buy a nice physical copy of the calendar?", ">\n\nThose cats are mind-controlled by taxoplasmosis alien ameobas!", ">\n\nI was thinking this was gonna be mountain lions taking out maintenance huts or something like that. This is so much better", ">\n\nI’m the daughter of a former Portland, Oregon, US Army Corps Engineer, and I can confirm they are a strange crew. It makes me view the dams on the Columbia River fondly?", ">\n\nI love this so much.", ">\n\nDude. Awesome.", ">\n\nI love this! My astronomy teacher once did a talk on space cats. It was hysterical. Out of the blue he showed us pictures of space with cats added in. He felt we needed a fun class for laughs. I want this calendar.", ">\n\nThis would be really cool if they got a decent digital artist. But they didn't, they used photoshop about as well as I can.", ">\n\nI think that adds to the charm", ">\n\nDon't even need to see it, where can I buy it", ">\n\nFrom the link - \"Because the Army Corps is a Government Agency, the calendar is in public domain and totally free to download and print\"", ">\n\nThis is so funny, because it’s my Dad’s old workplace (from 1971 until he retired). My father, however, has zero sense of humor so he’d never work on something like this.", ">\n\nI met a guy from the Army Corps of Engineers when I worked for the EPA. Smartest guy I've ever met and the 2nd most hippe like person I've ever met. I'd like to think he had something to do with this idea.", ">\n\nFinally the massive military budget of the US is put to good use.", ">\n\nThis is awesome. I might have to buy one.", ">\n\nNo need. It's free, though you have to print it yourself if you want a physical copy", ">\n\nThis is so adorable! I approve wholeheartedly.", ">\n\nIt's about time.", ">\n\nSappers lead the way", ">\n\nI have so much love for this.", ">\n\nEhisssayons.", ">\n\nLove it.", ">\n\nUnintended benefits of relaxed Marijuana policies :)", ">\n\nUsace has not relaxed cannabis policies. No federal agency has", ">\n\nThey certainly have relaxed policy, even though federal law hasn't changed. It's legal in my state and the current administration has announced they won't be pursuing user level Marijuana charges at the federal level.\nWake up.", ">\n\nUSACE still falls under the same policies as the rest of the army. They're treated as DA civilians, and subject to periodic biochemical testing and the resultant consequences if they pee hot. The army has, and will not in the foreseeable future, relax any policy regarding marijuana.", ">\n\nAdorable idea; wish they had hired someone better at photoshop", ">\n\nIts a free gag calendar that was probably just put together by someone for fun in their spare time. Considering the state of infrastructure in the US I don't imagine the Corps of Engineers has a lot of extra spending money to throw around", ">\n\nIf they were smart, they would print it for us and sell it. I don't want a crappy calender that I printed on regular paper, I want the real thing and I would be glad to pay for it.", ">\n\nGenius!! This needs to be a trend. Reddit, make it so...", ">\n\nfuck yeah we finally gonna balance the budget", ">\n\nDecember's hilarious. I want this calender.", ">\n\nYou can totally tell that this is not real. The lighting on the cats is so obviously different than the environmental mistake. Pathetic effort infrastructure geeks.", ">\n\nSo they can blame cats for shoddy workmanship and lax maintenance.", ">\n\nDon't capitalize \"Of\" in titles", ">\n\nWish they'd focus on not taking eight years to permit a fucking project, those lazy excuses for engineers.", ">\n\nYou’re crazy dude. These peeps have built some amazing things. Extremely impressive.", ">\n\nThey used to.", ">\n\n😂", ">\n\nThis whole absurd thing is exactly my sense of humour. LOVE it.", ">\n\nOregon! I've seen the one at Detroit Dam. Sneaky bugger. Hangs out with Bigfoot.", ">\n\nI need this", ">\n\nThat's some adorable terrorism right there.", ">\n\nI remember seeing them, on quad bikes, with a lot of equipment, on Myrtle Beach beaches, I always wondered what they were doing...", ">\n\nI love this sequel to Beginning of the End!", ">\n\nIs there a way I can buy a physical version?", ">\n\nThey're Demo-cats!", ">\n\nAny recommendations of the best way to get this printed semi-professionally? I tried checking Costco photo centre but they make you use a template.", ">\n\nOf course it’s Portland.", ">\n\nKind of disappointing I can't actually buy a printed one. My daughter would love this.", ">\n\nA pretty good idea for a poster. Who doesn't like cats being cats?", ">\n\nI really wish I had become a part of the ACOE but my mother didn't want her only son in the military.", ">\n\nUsace has civilian positions you're employed by the army, but you don't go through basic", ">\n\nI hope they pay more than Nidec.", ">\n\nThanks for sharing! Downloaded and got my new Lock Screen wallpaper.", ">\n\nDecember is 🔥", ">\n\nObligatory Cat Dynamics", ">\n\nPoliticians will say this is the proof of the REAL reason of why our infrastructure is deteriorating, then vote in a measure to hire their friends and family to counter this threat.", ">\n\nI didnt know cats were domestic terrorists like Republicans. lol", ">\n\nThis is the only kind of apocalypse I could see myself getting excited about.", ">\n\nAugust a missed opportunity to have CAT Excavators.", ">\n\nYou have my attention.", ">\n\nSmart move", ">\n\nGod help us.", ">\n\nBest thing to come out of the Army post WWII.", ">\n\n🤔", ">\n\n\"Let's write a two paragraph article about something freely available on the internet and make absolutely no attempt to actually tell you where to find it\".", ">\n\nCatjira!", ">\n\nhilarious!", ">\n\nFinally", ">\n\nThis is the oniony-est story I’ve seen on here in a while", ">\n\nCant wait for the next spending bill to include cat proofing our infrastructure", ">\n\nHonestly… I’d buy it.", ">\n\nWish I would have heard of that in November or so. This seems unique, fun and a great idea for a calendar.", ">\n\nI heard about this from Last Podcast on the Left, glad to see it pop up on my feed with pictures!", ">\n\nI'm gonna need an NSN For that...", ">\n\nOf course it’s the Portland District", ">\n\nHonestly this is worth buying", ">\n\nIm not a cat person, but I would buy the calendar." ]

[ "Imagine the work order. \nYour boss comes to you and says, \"Hey, you're in charge of the cats calendar.\"\n\"What calendar?\"\n\"The one with cats attacking infrastructure?\"\n\"What?\"", ">\n\nyou miss ONE day...", ">\n\nHail Vectron!", ">\n\nBy Vectron!", ">\n\nFor those yet to experience the holy might of Vectron's kindly claw", ">\n\nThank you. I had no idea.", ">\n\nYou are most welcome by Vectron", ">\n\nFor the love of all that is Vectron, your speech warms my Vectronic heart.", ">\n\nMay Vectron’s beard shed its benevolence upon us. 🙏🏻🙏🏻", ">\n\nAnd may all of his correspondence to us be sent Vectronically. So it is written, so shall it be done.", ">\n\nI live in Oregon and started to recognize a bunch of the dams, so I was like, “huh, that’s kinda cool.” Then I saw the text at the bottom of the first page. Portland District. Now a cat calendar makes perfect sense.", ">\n\nSame thing happened to me. I think I'm going to head to kinko's and have them print it out for me.", ">\n\nTell them you need to print some important official military documents before you show them what it is", ">\n\nDon’t forget to tell them you need it right meow!", ">\n\nWho will protect our infrastructure from this menace?", ">\n\nAn array of laser pointers.", ">\n\ncut to giant laser pointer satellite", ">\n\nomigod the jewish space lasers were real", ">\n\n*meowish space lasers", ">\n\nHey that's racist", ">\n\nI think it would be cheaper to buy a calendar than use the ink/toner required to print it.", ">\n\nThat's why you print it at work.", ">\n\nhaha true, oh wait I work from home...", ">\n\nIf you print from home for work you can write printer supplies off on your taxes :)", ">\n\nUh yes boss I needed a calendar, so… oh what? Use the company one? Ummm but the US army has a really nice one and I thought I’d be patriotic - what? Oh, yeah I know we’re in Canada, I just…", ">\n\nPortland is pretty much wannabe Vancouver, BC. I say it goes!", ">\n\nExactly what a Canadian would say...", ">\n\nGoodies, goodie goodie, yum yum.", ">\n\nI just scrolled until I found The Goodies reference but was wondering if I was going to find one at all.", ">\n\nIt's way down the list, isn't it? \n/knees hurt.", ">\n\nOw, my back! Get off my lawn!", ">\n\nOne engineer did it in his free time, and released it for use through the corps. \nThis was NOT government funded.", ">\n\nEven if it was government funded, I support this.", ">\n\nEven if it was government funded it would've been like maybe one day of pay at most? Not a ton for the amount of publicity they'll get that might make them even more money.", ">\n\nAssuming they already have the infrastructure pictures I would be surprised if it took more than 4 work hours. Also for chronically underfunded agencies that kind of PR is exactly how you get voters to convince the politicians to increase funds. I look forward to NASA figuring out how to photoshop giant cats playing with the planets like balls of yarn for their calendar", ">\n\n\nI look forward to NASA figuring out how to photoshop giant cats playing with the planets like balls of yarn for their calendar \n\nWell let me introduce you to the most bizarre social media messaging from an official U.S. government agency: The U.S. Consumer Product Safety Commission's Instagram feed. \nAnd before I catch any \"there's no way this is real\" replies, here's the Washington Post covering it: \n\nHow a federal bureaucrat uses astronaut babies and dogs riding pigeons to try to save your life", ">\n\nThis is rad!", ">\n\nCISA losing their shit rn", ">\n\nI would like one.", ">\n\nIt's a free PDF.", ">\n\nNo he would like one of the cats", ">\n\nyOu wOuLdN'T DoWnloAd a cAT", ">\n\nI can’t believe they included Sherlock getting knocked off a cliff. At least he didn’t jump this time.", ">\n\nI'm shocked that you're the only person I've seen comment on this so far! it's hilarious", ">\n\n\"Every year, dozens of cats attack important infrastructure for our country causing dozens of dollars of damage. Won't you help?\"", ">\n\nI heard this with Sarah McLoughlin's voice", ">\n\nArmy Cats", ">\n\nNow do it with pictures of our crumbling infrastructure.", ">\n\nThis seems like one of those things that is somehow going to age poorly given our Universe's current sense of irony. I don't know how exactly, but there's going to be some mass tragedy involving cats and a suspension bridge or something this year.", ">\n\nThe first image kind of reads like \"this infrastructure is super important so don't damage it\". The calendar almost seems like a shopping list for domestic terrorists or something lol.", ">\n\nI mean, pretty obvious that dams, substations, bridges and the like are good targets for chaos. Google maps gives you all this plus Police stations and everything, with photos and the address. Useless to worry about it", ">\n\nSeriously, anyone who unironicly think terrorists were waiting for a cat calendar to list a bunch of locations to bomb is paranoid about the wrong things.", ">\n\nCats would hunt and eat us if they were bigger than us", ">\n\nThey already do, they are called Tigers.", ">\n\nIf there were smaller tigers, we would keep them as pets, but they'd break all our stuff to prove they're still in charge.", ">\n\nThey already do, they are called Cats.", ">\n\nOH MY GOD!", ">\n\nMy tabby is a cute little tiger", ">\n\nI knew we had infrastructure challenges, but I didn't realize we were facing an infrastructure cat-astrophe!", ">\n\nTake my r/angryupvote", ">\n\nI love how shitty the photoshop is. Really ties it all together", ">\n\nYeah I like the idea--but the pictures chosen and color grading are all off. I'd like this idea better executed more professionally.", ">\n\nOh no I'm serious. The unprofessionalism is the best part. I would absolutely pay money for this", ">\n\nOnly only thing weirder is gonna be their crazy ass plan to save the infrastructure.", ">\n\nIt's the engineer Corp, they can build giant cat carriers.", ">\n\nI guess anything beats the 40 million they spend on viagra to keep the soldiers saluting.", ">\n\nThis is delightful", ">\n\ni was imagining mountain lions breaking in to dumpsters or something, not giant house cats gnawing on substations, not disappointed.", ">\n\nI don’t need a calendar now that our pocket rectangles handle all of that for us, but I really want this calendar.", ">\n\nIt is really convenient to just walk by my schedule versus having to pull it up, scroll, click and expand. I tend to forget about things if I don’t see it in front of me, but that’s just how my brain works. Plus if you’re on the phone trying to schedule something it’s nice to write it out too.", ">\n\nI'm sorry, we're already booked for giant spiders.", ">\n\nI personally kinda love this.", ">\n\nBest use of a miniscule amount of our tax dollars in the entire US $1.7T budget. US Army Corp wins the internet today!", ">\n\nHonestly, the entire army corps of engineers may be one of highest rates of return on public good vs funding", ">\n\nSeriously. They do a shit ton of quality and important public work on a relatively shoe-string budget for engineering. I have a lot of respect for the people that work at the USACOE.", ">\n\nSeptember, now that one is art", ">\n\nHaters will say it's Photoshop.", ">\n\nThey’ve never seen Catzilla.", ">\n\nHero of the Week! Hail yourself!", ">\n\nThere it is!", ">\n\n\nThe Army Corps Of Engineers Has Released a 2023 Calendar Of Giant Cats Attacking <\n\nr/brand new sentence \nAlso, giant cats attacking infrastructure is so 2020. In 2023 it just sounds silly.", ">\n\nSeptember ❤️", ">\n\nOmg. I love this. Especially the text blurbs on the pictures. Very funny and adorable!", ">\n\nSounds like they understand cats are required if you want social media traction", ">\n\nI have never wanted to buy a calendar more than I do now!", ">\n\nOn the one hand, I applaud the idea.\nOn the other hand, the photoshop skills look like they came from the army corps of engineers.", ">\n\nWould you actually want them to look like they were perfectly matched to each environment? I'm pretty sure the comedic effect is all that matters here.\nAnd besides, it was just one engineer that created this on their spare time, rather than an official ACE production.", ">\n\nI was mainly being a bit snarky because the internet. That, and what I said was objectively true.", ">\n\nCan confirm, the Corps of Engineers fuckkkkks", ">\n\nGoddammit I just bought my 2023 calendar too lol", ">\n\nThat’s cute though, not worrisome like a lot of other r/nottheonion posts.", ">\n\nAs ever, the Army Corps of Engineers are the one branch of the US state that can get the important shit done", ">\n\nFrom the comments ITT it's evident that most people are unaware of how important they are to the lives of the majority of productive people in this country (people who live near a coastline or a major body of water). It's not just dams and rivers, it's the actual physical coastline of america that they look after.", ">\n\nYup, it seems double edged- people think oh, they're the army corps and assumes they must be doing only military stuff. But equally if it was civilianised no doubt it'd be a target for cuts. An incredible org, regardless. And whether it's cats or weather or warming or the collapse of neglected infrastructure they're going to get more and more important so it's a damn good thing they exist because in 2023, nobody would invent them...", ">\n\nUSACE is an agency that is funded by the DOD but is vastly ran by civilians. There are very few enlisted or commissioned people in the army corps.", ">\n\nOK this is a thing and this is awesome", ">\n\nOops, I had \"Zombie Redneck Torture Family\" in the betting pool.", ">\n\nGrumble. Never gonna see a merman...", ">\n\nUSACE Portland District is one of the absolute best public sector social media presences out there. Seriously. Check it out.", ">\n\nCats in military pictures is an entire IG channel", ">\n\nGood boot", ">\n\nCommand team must be TDY", ">\n\nThat was even better than the title made me think it would be.", ">\n\nI support my tax dollars going to causes such as this.", ">\n\nFinally tax dollars doing something good", ">\n\nI’m kind of disappointed. From the title, I thought there would be photos of actual big cats attacking infrastructure, not photoshopped domestic cats. Anyone have a photo of a puma going after an electrical substation? Or a tiger gnawing on a water line?", ">\n\nNo. No one has that. Would be very interesting though to compile a calendar like that. Peace brother.", ">\n\nGreat, now I need a color printer.\nSeriously, thank you u/radioman8414!", ">\n\nThis is how I want my tax money spent. Downloaded and put up in my office!", ">\n\nThe regional social media guy who put this together is constantly hilarious", ">\n\nGreatest calendar of 2023.", ">\n\nI need one of these for my office! I've worked on some of these dams!", ">\n\nCan I ask you some dam questions?? I’m sure you know a lot of dam information. I’m sure all of us would love some dam stories. Thank you.", ">\n\nSure way to have a more interesting calendar than just infrastructure.", ">\n\nI would so adopt one if they existed.", ">\n\nI've heard army corps of engineers are very difficult to house train. May want to consider before adopting one.", ">\n\nTouché.", ">\n\nThat's amazing, thank you for posting it!", ">\n\nIs there anywhere to buy a nice physical copy of the calendar?", ">\n\nThose cats are mind-controlled by taxoplasmosis alien ameobas!", ">\n\nI was thinking this was gonna be mountain lions taking out maintenance huts or something like that. This is so much better", ">\n\nI’m the daughter of a former Portland, Oregon, US Army Corps Engineer, and I can confirm they are a strange crew. It makes me view the dams on the Columbia River fondly?", ">\n\nI love this so much.", ">\n\nDude. Awesome.", ">\n\nI love this! My astronomy teacher once did a talk on space cats. It was hysterical. Out of the blue he showed us pictures of space with cats added in. He felt we needed a fun class for laughs. I want this calendar.", ">\n\nThis would be really cool if they got a decent digital artist. But they didn't, they used photoshop about as well as I can.", ">\n\nI think that adds to the charm", ">\n\nDon't even need to see it, where can I buy it", ">\n\nFrom the link - \"Because the Army Corps is a Government Agency, the calendar is in public domain and totally free to download and print\"", ">\n\nThis is so funny, because it’s my Dad’s old workplace (from 1971 until he retired). My father, however, has zero sense of humor so he’d never work on something like this.", ">\n\nI met a guy from the Army Corps of Engineers when I worked for the EPA. Smartest guy I've ever met and the 2nd most hippe like person I've ever met. I'd like to think he had something to do with this idea.", ">\n\nFinally the massive military budget of the US is put to good use.", ">\n\nThis is awesome. I might have to buy one.", ">\n\nNo need. It's free, though you have to print it yourself if you want a physical copy", ">\n\nThis is so adorable! I approve wholeheartedly.", ">\n\nIt's about time.", ">\n\nSappers lead the way", ">\n\nI have so much love for this.", ">\n\nEhisssayons.", ">\n\nLove it.", ">\n\nUnintended benefits of relaxed Marijuana policies :)", ">\n\nUsace has not relaxed cannabis policies. No federal agency has", ">\n\nThey certainly have relaxed policy, even though federal law hasn't changed. It's legal in my state and the current administration has announced they won't be pursuing user level Marijuana charges at the federal level.\nWake up.", ">\n\nUSACE still falls under the same policies as the rest of the army. They're treated as DA civilians, and subject to periodic biochemical testing and the resultant consequences if they pee hot. The army has, and will not in the foreseeable future, relax any policy regarding marijuana.", ">\n\nAdorable idea; wish they had hired someone better at photoshop", ">\n\nIts a free gag calendar that was probably just put together by someone for fun in their spare time. Considering the state of infrastructure in the US I don't imagine the Corps of Engineers has a lot of extra spending money to throw around", ">\n\nIf they were smart, they would print it for us and sell it. I don't want a crappy calender that I printed on regular paper, I want the real thing and I would be glad to pay for it.", ">\n\nGenius!! This needs to be a trend. Reddit, make it so...", ">\n\nfuck yeah we finally gonna balance the budget", ">\n\nDecember's hilarious. I want this calender.", ">\n\nYou can totally tell that this is not real. The lighting on the cats is so obviously different than the environmental mistake. Pathetic effort infrastructure geeks.", ">\n\nSo they can blame cats for shoddy workmanship and lax maintenance.", ">\n\nDon't capitalize \"Of\" in titles", ">\n\nWish they'd focus on not taking eight years to permit a fucking project, those lazy excuses for engineers.", ">\n\nYou’re crazy dude. These peeps have built some amazing things. Extremely impressive.", ">\n\nThey used to.", ">\n\n😂", ">\n\nThis whole absurd thing is exactly my sense of humour. LOVE it.", ">\n\nOregon! I've seen the one at Detroit Dam. Sneaky bugger. Hangs out with Bigfoot.", ">\n\nI need this", ">\n\nThat's some adorable terrorism right there.", ">\n\nI remember seeing them, on quad bikes, with a lot of equipment, on Myrtle Beach beaches, I always wondered what they were doing...", ">\n\nI love this sequel to Beginning of the End!", ">\n\nIs there a way I can buy a physical version?", ">\n\nThey're Demo-cats!", ">\n\nAny recommendations of the best way to get this printed semi-professionally? I tried checking Costco photo centre but they make you use a template.", ">\n\nOf course it’s Portland.", ">\n\nKind of disappointing I can't actually buy a printed one. My daughter would love this.", ">\n\nA pretty good idea for a poster. Who doesn't like cats being cats?", ">\n\nI really wish I had become a part of the ACOE but my mother didn't want her only son in the military.", ">\n\nUsace has civilian positions you're employed by the army, but you don't go through basic", ">\n\nI hope they pay more than Nidec.", ">\n\nThanks for sharing! Downloaded and got my new Lock Screen wallpaper.", ">\n\nDecember is 🔥", ">\n\nObligatory Cat Dynamics", ">\n\nPoliticians will say this is the proof of the REAL reason of why our infrastructure is deteriorating, then vote in a measure to hire their friends and family to counter this threat.", ">\n\nI didnt know cats were domestic terrorists like Republicans. lol", ">\n\nThis is the only kind of apocalypse I could see myself getting excited about.", ">\n\nAugust a missed opportunity to have CAT Excavators.", ">\n\nYou have my attention.", ">\n\nSmart move", ">\n\nGod help us.", ">\n\nBest thing to come out of the Army post WWII.", ">\n\n🤔", ">\n\n\"Let's write a two paragraph article about something freely available on the internet and make absolutely no attempt to actually tell you where to find it\".", ">\n\nCatjira!", ">\n\nhilarious!", ">\n\nFinally", ">\n\nThis is the oniony-est story I’ve seen on here in a while", ">\n\nCant wait for the next spending bill to include cat proofing our infrastructure", ">\n\nHonestly… I’d buy it.", ">\n\nWish I would have heard of that in November or so. This seems unique, fun and a great idea for a calendar.", ">\n\nI heard about this from Last Podcast on the Left, glad to see it pop up on my feed with pictures!", ">\n\nI'm gonna need an NSN For that...", ">\n\nOf course it’s the Portland District", ">\n\nHonestly this is worth buying", ">\n\nIm not a cat person, but I would buy the calendar.", ">\n\nAny way to view the album without losing my mind on that website? God it's shit on mobile." ]

[ "Imagine the work order. \nYour boss comes to you and says, \"Hey, you're in charge of the cats calendar.\"\n\"What calendar?\"\n\"The one with cats attacking infrastructure?\"\n\"What?\"", ">\n\nyou miss ONE day...", ">\n\nHail Vectron!", ">\n\nBy Vectron!", ">\n\nFor those yet to experience the holy might of Vectron's kindly claw", ">\n\nThank you. I had no idea.", ">\n\nYou are most welcome by Vectron", ">\n\nFor the love of all that is Vectron, your speech warms my Vectronic heart.", ">\n\nMay Vectron’s beard shed its benevolence upon us. 🙏🏻🙏🏻", ">\n\nAnd may all of his correspondence to us be sent Vectronically. So it is written, so shall it be done.", ">\n\nI live in Oregon and started to recognize a bunch of the dams, so I was like, “huh, that’s kinda cool.” Then I saw the text at the bottom of the first page. Portland District. Now a cat calendar makes perfect sense.", ">\n\nSame thing happened to me. I think I'm going to head to kinko's and have them print it out for me.", ">\n\nTell them you need to print some important official military documents before you show them what it is", ">\n\nDon’t forget to tell them you need it right meow!", ">\n\nWho will protect our infrastructure from this menace?", ">\n\nAn array of laser pointers.", ">\n\ncut to giant laser pointer satellite", ">\n\nomigod the jewish space lasers were real", ">\n\n*meowish space lasers", ">\n\nHey that's racist", ">\n\nI think it would be cheaper to buy a calendar than use the ink/toner required to print it.", ">\n\nThat's why you print it at work.", ">\n\nhaha true, oh wait I work from home...", ">\n\nIf you print from home for work you can write printer supplies off on your taxes :)", ">\n\nUh yes boss I needed a calendar, so… oh what? Use the company one? Ummm but the US army has a really nice one and I thought I’d be patriotic - what? Oh, yeah I know we’re in Canada, I just…", ">\n\nPortland is pretty much wannabe Vancouver, BC. I say it goes!", ">\n\nExactly what a Canadian would say...", ">\n\nGoodies, goodie goodie, yum yum.", ">\n\nI just scrolled until I found The Goodies reference but was wondering if I was going to find one at all.", ">\n\nIt's way down the list, isn't it? \n/knees hurt.", ">\n\nOw, my back! Get off my lawn!", ">\n\nOne engineer did it in his free time, and released it for use through the corps. \nThis was NOT government funded.", ">\n\nEven if it was government funded, I support this.", ">\n\nEven if it was government funded it would've been like maybe one day of pay at most? Not a ton for the amount of publicity they'll get that might make them even more money.", ">\n\nAssuming they already have the infrastructure pictures I would be surprised if it took more than 4 work hours. Also for chronically underfunded agencies that kind of PR is exactly how you get voters to convince the politicians to increase funds. I look forward to NASA figuring out how to photoshop giant cats playing with the planets like balls of yarn for their calendar", ">\n\n\nI look forward to NASA figuring out how to photoshop giant cats playing with the planets like balls of yarn for their calendar \n\nWell let me introduce you to the most bizarre social media messaging from an official U.S. government agency: The U.S. Consumer Product Safety Commission's Instagram feed. \nAnd before I catch any \"there's no way this is real\" replies, here's the Washington Post covering it: \n\nHow a federal bureaucrat uses astronaut babies and dogs riding pigeons to try to save your life", ">\n\nThis is rad!", ">\n\nCISA losing their shit rn", ">\n\nI would like one.", ">\n\nIt's a free PDF.", ">\n\nNo he would like one of the cats", ">\n\nyOu wOuLdN'T DoWnloAd a cAT", ">\n\nI can’t believe they included Sherlock getting knocked off a cliff. At least he didn’t jump this time.", ">\n\nI'm shocked that you're the only person I've seen comment on this so far! it's hilarious", ">\n\n\"Every year, dozens of cats attack important infrastructure for our country causing dozens of dollars of damage. Won't you help?\"", ">\n\nI heard this with Sarah McLoughlin's voice", ">\n\nArmy Cats", ">\n\nNow do it with pictures of our crumbling infrastructure.", ">\n\nThis seems like one of those things that is somehow going to age poorly given our Universe's current sense of irony. I don't know how exactly, but there's going to be some mass tragedy involving cats and a suspension bridge or something this year.", ">\n\nThe first image kind of reads like \"this infrastructure is super important so don't damage it\". The calendar almost seems like a shopping list for domestic terrorists or something lol.", ">\n\nI mean, pretty obvious that dams, substations, bridges and the like are good targets for chaos. Google maps gives you all this plus Police stations and everything, with photos and the address. Useless to worry about it", ">\n\nSeriously, anyone who unironicly think terrorists were waiting for a cat calendar to list a bunch of locations to bomb is paranoid about the wrong things.", ">\n\nCats would hunt and eat us if they were bigger than us", ">\n\nThey already do, they are called Tigers.", ">\n\nIf there were smaller tigers, we would keep them as pets, but they'd break all our stuff to prove they're still in charge.", ">\n\nThey already do, they are called Cats.", ">\n\nOH MY GOD!", ">\n\nMy tabby is a cute little tiger", ">\n\nI knew we had infrastructure challenges, but I didn't realize we were facing an infrastructure cat-astrophe!", ">\n\nTake my r/angryupvote", ">\n\nI love how shitty the photoshop is. Really ties it all together", ">\n\nYeah I like the idea--but the pictures chosen and color grading are all off. I'd like this idea better executed more professionally.", ">\n\nOh no I'm serious. The unprofessionalism is the best part. I would absolutely pay money for this", ">\n\nOnly only thing weirder is gonna be their crazy ass plan to save the infrastructure.", ">\n\nIt's the engineer Corp, they can build giant cat carriers.", ">\n\nI guess anything beats the 40 million they spend on viagra to keep the soldiers saluting.", ">\n\nThis is delightful", ">\n\ni was imagining mountain lions breaking in to dumpsters or something, not giant house cats gnawing on substations, not disappointed.", ">\n\nI don’t need a calendar now that our pocket rectangles handle all of that for us, but I really want this calendar.", ">\n\nIt is really convenient to just walk by my schedule versus having to pull it up, scroll, click and expand. I tend to forget about things if I don’t see it in front of me, but that’s just how my brain works. Plus if you’re on the phone trying to schedule something it’s nice to write it out too.", ">\n\nI'm sorry, we're already booked for giant spiders.", ">\n\nI personally kinda love this.", ">\n\nBest use of a miniscule amount of our tax dollars in the entire US $1.7T budget. US Army Corp wins the internet today!", ">\n\nHonestly, the entire army corps of engineers may be one of highest rates of return on public good vs funding", ">\n\nSeriously. They do a shit ton of quality and important public work on a relatively shoe-string budget for engineering. I have a lot of respect for the people that work at the USACOE.", ">\n\nSeptember, now that one is art", ">\n\nHaters will say it's Photoshop.", ">\n\nThey’ve never seen Catzilla.", ">\n\nHero of the Week! Hail yourself!", ">\n\nThere it is!", ">\n\n\nThe Army Corps Of Engineers Has Released a 2023 Calendar Of Giant Cats Attacking <\n\nr/brand new sentence \nAlso, giant cats attacking infrastructure is so 2020. In 2023 it just sounds silly.", ">\n\nSeptember ❤️", ">\n\nOmg. I love this. Especially the text blurbs on the pictures. Very funny and adorable!", ">\n\nSounds like they understand cats are required if you want social media traction", ">\n\nI have never wanted to buy a calendar more than I do now!", ">\n\nOn the one hand, I applaud the idea.\nOn the other hand, the photoshop skills look like they came from the army corps of engineers.", ">\n\nWould you actually want them to look like they were perfectly matched to each environment? I'm pretty sure the comedic effect is all that matters here.\nAnd besides, it was just one engineer that created this on their spare time, rather than an official ACE production.", ">\n\nI was mainly being a bit snarky because the internet. That, and what I said was objectively true.", ">\n\nCan confirm, the Corps of Engineers fuckkkkks", ">\n\nGoddammit I just bought my 2023 calendar too lol", ">\n\nThat’s cute though, not worrisome like a lot of other r/nottheonion posts.", ">\n\nAs ever, the Army Corps of Engineers are the one branch of the US state that can get the important shit done", ">\n\nFrom the comments ITT it's evident that most people are unaware of how important they are to the lives of the majority of productive people in this country (people who live near a coastline or a major body of water). It's not just dams and rivers, it's the actual physical coastline of america that they look after.", ">\n\nYup, it seems double edged- people think oh, they're the army corps and assumes they must be doing only military stuff. But equally if it was civilianised no doubt it'd be a target for cuts. An incredible org, regardless. And whether it's cats or weather or warming or the collapse of neglected infrastructure they're going to get more and more important so it's a damn good thing they exist because in 2023, nobody would invent them...", ">\n\nUSACE is an agency that is funded by the DOD but is vastly ran by civilians. There are very few enlisted or commissioned people in the army corps.", ">\n\nOK this is a thing and this is awesome", ">\n\nOops, I had \"Zombie Redneck Torture Family\" in the betting pool.", ">\n\nGrumble. Never gonna see a merman...", ">\n\nUSACE Portland District is one of the absolute best public sector social media presences out there. Seriously. Check it out.", ">\n\nCats in military pictures is an entire IG channel", ">\n\nGood boot", ">\n\nCommand team must be TDY", ">\n\nThat was even better than the title made me think it would be.", ">\n\nI support my tax dollars going to causes such as this.", ">\n\nFinally tax dollars doing something good", ">\n\nI’m kind of disappointed. From the title, I thought there would be photos of actual big cats attacking infrastructure, not photoshopped domestic cats. Anyone have a photo of a puma going after an electrical substation? Or a tiger gnawing on a water line?", ">\n\nNo. No one has that. Would be very interesting though to compile a calendar like that. Peace brother.", ">\n\nGreat, now I need a color printer.\nSeriously, thank you u/radioman8414!", ">\n\nThis is how I want my tax money spent. Downloaded and put up in my office!", ">\n\nThe regional social media guy who put this together is constantly hilarious", ">\n\nGreatest calendar of 2023.", ">\n\nI need one of these for my office! I've worked on some of these dams!", ">\n\nCan I ask you some dam questions?? I’m sure you know a lot of dam information. I’m sure all of us would love some dam stories. Thank you.", ">\n\nSure way to have a more interesting calendar than just infrastructure.", ">\n\nI would so adopt one if they existed.", ">\n\nI've heard army corps of engineers are very difficult to house train. May want to consider before adopting one.", ">\n\nTouché.", ">\n\nThat's amazing, thank you for posting it!", ">\n\nIs there anywhere to buy a nice physical copy of the calendar?", ">\n\nThose cats are mind-controlled by taxoplasmosis alien ameobas!", ">\n\nI was thinking this was gonna be mountain lions taking out maintenance huts or something like that. This is so much better", ">\n\nI’m the daughter of a former Portland, Oregon, US Army Corps Engineer, and I can confirm they are a strange crew. It makes me view the dams on the Columbia River fondly?", ">\n\nI love this so much.", ">\n\nDude. Awesome.", ">\n\nI love this! My astronomy teacher once did a talk on space cats. It was hysterical. Out of the blue he showed us pictures of space with cats added in. He felt we needed a fun class for laughs. I want this calendar.", ">\n\nThis would be really cool if they got a decent digital artist. But they didn't, they used photoshop about as well as I can.", ">\n\nI think that adds to the charm", ">\n\nDon't even need to see it, where can I buy it", ">\n\nFrom the link - \"Because the Army Corps is a Government Agency, the calendar is in public domain and totally free to download and print\"", ">\n\nThis is so funny, because it’s my Dad’s old workplace (from 1971 until he retired). My father, however, has zero sense of humor so he’d never work on something like this.", ">\n\nI met a guy from the Army Corps of Engineers when I worked for the EPA. Smartest guy I've ever met and the 2nd most hippe like person I've ever met. I'd like to think he had something to do with this idea.", ">\n\nFinally the massive military budget of the US is put to good use.", ">\n\nThis is awesome. I might have to buy one.", ">\n\nNo need. It's free, though you have to print it yourself if you want a physical copy", ">\n\nThis is so adorable! I approve wholeheartedly.", ">\n\nIt's about time.", ">\n\nSappers lead the way", ">\n\nI have so much love for this.", ">\n\nEhisssayons.", ">\n\nLove it.", ">\n\nUnintended benefits of relaxed Marijuana policies :)", ">\n\nUsace has not relaxed cannabis policies. No federal agency has", ">\n\nThey certainly have relaxed policy, even though federal law hasn't changed. It's legal in my state and the current administration has announced they won't be pursuing user level Marijuana charges at the federal level.\nWake up.", ">\n\nUSACE still falls under the same policies as the rest of the army. They're treated as DA civilians, and subject to periodic biochemical testing and the resultant consequences if they pee hot. The army has, and will not in the foreseeable future, relax any policy regarding marijuana.", ">\n\nAdorable idea; wish they had hired someone better at photoshop", ">\n\nIts a free gag calendar that was probably just put together by someone for fun in their spare time. Considering the state of infrastructure in the US I don't imagine the Corps of Engineers has a lot of extra spending money to throw around", ">\n\nIf they were smart, they would print it for us and sell it. I don't want a crappy calender that I printed on regular paper, I want the real thing and I would be glad to pay for it.", ">\n\nGenius!! This needs to be a trend. Reddit, make it so...", ">\n\nfuck yeah we finally gonna balance the budget", ">\n\nDecember's hilarious. I want this calender.", ">\n\nYou can totally tell that this is not real. The lighting on the cats is so obviously different than the environmental mistake. Pathetic effort infrastructure geeks.", ">\n\nSo they can blame cats for shoddy workmanship and lax maintenance.", ">\n\nDon't capitalize \"Of\" in titles", ">\n\nWish they'd focus on not taking eight years to permit a fucking project, those lazy excuses for engineers.", ">\n\nYou’re crazy dude. These peeps have built some amazing things. Extremely impressive.", ">\n\nThey used to.", ">\n\n😂", ">\n\nThis whole absurd thing is exactly my sense of humour. LOVE it.", ">\n\nOregon! I've seen the one at Detroit Dam. Sneaky bugger. Hangs out with Bigfoot.", ">\n\nI need this", ">\n\nThat's some adorable terrorism right there.", ">\n\nI remember seeing them, on quad bikes, with a lot of equipment, on Myrtle Beach beaches, I always wondered what they were doing...", ">\n\nI love this sequel to Beginning of the End!", ">\n\nIs there a way I can buy a physical version?", ">\n\nThey're Demo-cats!", ">\n\nAny recommendations of the best way to get this printed semi-professionally? I tried checking Costco photo centre but they make you use a template.", ">\n\nOf course it’s Portland.", ">\n\nKind of disappointing I can't actually buy a printed one. My daughter would love this.", ">\n\nA pretty good idea for a poster. Who doesn't like cats being cats?", ">\n\nI really wish I had become a part of the ACOE but my mother didn't want her only son in the military.", ">\n\nUsace has civilian positions you're employed by the army, but you don't go through basic", ">\n\nI hope they pay more than Nidec.", ">\n\nThanks for sharing! Downloaded and got my new Lock Screen wallpaper.", ">\n\nDecember is 🔥", ">\n\nObligatory Cat Dynamics", ">\n\nPoliticians will say this is the proof of the REAL reason of why our infrastructure is deteriorating, then vote in a measure to hire their friends and family to counter this threat.", ">\n\nI didnt know cats were domestic terrorists like Republicans. lol", ">\n\nThis is the only kind of apocalypse I could see myself getting excited about.", ">\n\nAugust a missed opportunity to have CAT Excavators.", ">\n\nYou have my attention.", ">\n\nSmart move", ">\n\nGod help us.", ">\n\nBest thing to come out of the Army post WWII.", ">\n\n🤔", ">\n\n\"Let's write a two paragraph article about something freely available on the internet and make absolutely no attempt to actually tell you where to find it\".", ">\n\nCatjira!", ">\n\nhilarious!", ">\n\nFinally", ">\n\nThis is the oniony-est story I’ve seen on here in a while", ">\n\nCant wait for the next spending bill to include cat proofing our infrastructure", ">\n\nHonestly… I’d buy it.", ">\n\nWish I would have heard of that in November or so. This seems unique, fun and a great idea for a calendar.", ">\n\nI heard about this from Last Podcast on the Left, glad to see it pop up on my feed with pictures!", ">\n\nI'm gonna need an NSN For that...", ">\n\nOf course it’s the Portland District", ">\n\nHonestly this is worth buying", ">\n\nIm not a cat person, but I would buy the calendar.", ">\n\nAny way to view the album without losing my mind on that website? God it's shit on mobile.", ">\n\nI especially love how June just looks like a well framed optical illusion photo." ]

[ "Imagine the work order. \nYour boss comes to you and says, \"Hey, you're in charge of the cats calendar.\"\n\"What calendar?\"\n\"The one with cats attacking infrastructure?\"\n\"What?\"", ">\n\nyou miss ONE day...", ">\n\nHail Vectron!", ">\n\nBy Vectron!", ">\n\nFor those yet to experience the holy might of Vectron's kindly claw", ">\n\nThank you. I had no idea.", ">\n\nYou are most welcome by Vectron", ">\n\nFor the love of all that is Vectron, your speech warms my Vectronic heart.", ">\n\nMay Vectron’s beard shed its benevolence upon us. 🙏🏻🙏🏻", ">\n\nAnd may all of his correspondence to us be sent Vectronically. So it is written, so shall it be done.", ">\n\nI live in Oregon and started to recognize a bunch of the dams, so I was like, “huh, that’s kinda cool.” Then I saw the text at the bottom of the first page. Portland District. Now a cat calendar makes perfect sense.", ">\n\nSame thing happened to me. I think I'm going to head to kinko's and have them print it out for me.", ">\n\nTell them you need to print some important official military documents before you show them what it is", ">\n\nDon’t forget to tell them you need it right meow!", ">\n\nWho will protect our infrastructure from this menace?", ">\n\nAn array of laser pointers.", ">\n\ncut to giant laser pointer satellite", ">\n\nomigod the jewish space lasers were real", ">\n\n*meowish space lasers", ">\n\nHey that's racist", ">\n\nI think it would be cheaper to buy a calendar than use the ink/toner required to print it.", ">\n\nThat's why you print it at work.", ">\n\nhaha true, oh wait I work from home...", ">\n\nIf you print from home for work you can write printer supplies off on your taxes :)", ">\n\nUh yes boss I needed a calendar, so… oh what? Use the company one? Ummm but the US army has a really nice one and I thought I’d be patriotic - what? Oh, yeah I know we’re in Canada, I just…", ">\n\nPortland is pretty much wannabe Vancouver, BC. I say it goes!", ">\n\nExactly what a Canadian would say...", ">\n\nGoodies, goodie goodie, yum yum.", ">\n\nI just scrolled until I found The Goodies reference but was wondering if I was going to find one at all.", ">\n\nIt's way down the list, isn't it? \n/knees hurt.", ">\n\nOw, my back! Get off my lawn!", ">\n\nOne engineer did it in his free time, and released it for use through the corps. \nThis was NOT government funded.", ">\n\nEven if it was government funded, I support this.", ">\n\nEven if it was government funded it would've been like maybe one day of pay at most? Not a ton for the amount of publicity they'll get that might make them even more money.", ">\n\nAssuming they already have the infrastructure pictures I would be surprised if it took more than 4 work hours. Also for chronically underfunded agencies that kind of PR is exactly how you get voters to convince the politicians to increase funds. I look forward to NASA figuring out how to photoshop giant cats playing with the planets like balls of yarn for their calendar", ">\n\n\nI look forward to NASA figuring out how to photoshop giant cats playing with the planets like balls of yarn for their calendar \n\nWell let me introduce you to the most bizarre social media messaging from an official U.S. government agency: The U.S. Consumer Product Safety Commission's Instagram feed. \nAnd before I catch any \"there's no way this is real\" replies, here's the Washington Post covering it: \n\nHow a federal bureaucrat uses astronaut babies and dogs riding pigeons to try to save your life", ">\n\nThis is rad!", ">\n\nCISA losing their shit rn", ">\n\nI would like one.", ">\n\nIt's a free PDF.", ">\n\nNo he would like one of the cats", ">\n\nyOu wOuLdN'T DoWnloAd a cAT", ">\n\nI can’t believe they included Sherlock getting knocked off a cliff. At least he didn’t jump this time.", ">\n\nI'm shocked that you're the only person I've seen comment on this so far! it's hilarious", ">\n\n\"Every year, dozens of cats attack important infrastructure for our country causing dozens of dollars of damage. Won't you help?\"", ">\n\nI heard this with Sarah McLoughlin's voice", ">\n\nArmy Cats", ">\n\nNow do it with pictures of our crumbling infrastructure.", ">\n\nThis seems like one of those things that is somehow going to age poorly given our Universe's current sense of irony. I don't know how exactly, but there's going to be some mass tragedy involving cats and a suspension bridge or something this year.", ">\n\nThe first image kind of reads like \"this infrastructure is super important so don't damage it\". The calendar almost seems like a shopping list for domestic terrorists or something lol.", ">\n\nI mean, pretty obvious that dams, substations, bridges and the like are good targets for chaos. Google maps gives you all this plus Police stations and everything, with photos and the address. Useless to worry about it", ">\n\nSeriously, anyone who unironicly think terrorists were waiting for a cat calendar to list a bunch of locations to bomb is paranoid about the wrong things.", ">\n\nCats would hunt and eat us if they were bigger than us", ">\n\nThey already do, they are called Tigers.", ">\n\nIf there were smaller tigers, we would keep them as pets, but they'd break all our stuff to prove they're still in charge.", ">\n\nThey already do, they are called Cats.", ">\n\nOH MY GOD!", ">\n\nMy tabby is a cute little tiger", ">\n\nI knew we had infrastructure challenges, but I didn't realize we were facing an infrastructure cat-astrophe!", ">\n\nTake my r/angryupvote", ">\n\nI love how shitty the photoshop is. Really ties it all together", ">\n\nYeah I like the idea--but the pictures chosen and color grading are all off. I'd like this idea better executed more professionally.", ">\n\nOh no I'm serious. The unprofessionalism is the best part. I would absolutely pay money for this", ">\n\nOnly only thing weirder is gonna be their crazy ass plan to save the infrastructure.", ">\n\nIt's the engineer Corp, they can build giant cat carriers.", ">\n\nI guess anything beats the 40 million they spend on viagra to keep the soldiers saluting.", ">\n\nThis is delightful", ">\n\ni was imagining mountain lions breaking in to dumpsters or something, not giant house cats gnawing on substations, not disappointed.", ">\n\nI don’t need a calendar now that our pocket rectangles handle all of that for us, but I really want this calendar.", ">\n\nIt is really convenient to just walk by my schedule versus having to pull it up, scroll, click and expand. I tend to forget about things if I don’t see it in front of me, but that’s just how my brain works. Plus if you’re on the phone trying to schedule something it’s nice to write it out too.", ">\n\nI'm sorry, we're already booked for giant spiders.", ">\n\nI personally kinda love this.", ">\n\nBest use of a miniscule amount of our tax dollars in the entire US $1.7T budget. US Army Corp wins the internet today!", ">\n\nHonestly, the entire army corps of engineers may be one of highest rates of return on public good vs funding", ">\n\nSeriously. They do a shit ton of quality and important public work on a relatively shoe-string budget for engineering. I have a lot of respect for the people that work at the USACOE.", ">\n\nSeptember, now that one is art", ">\n\nHaters will say it's Photoshop.", ">\n\nThey’ve never seen Catzilla.", ">\n\nHero of the Week! Hail yourself!", ">\n\nThere it is!", ">\n\n\nThe Army Corps Of Engineers Has Released a 2023 Calendar Of Giant Cats Attacking <\n\nr/brand new sentence \nAlso, giant cats attacking infrastructure is so 2020. In 2023 it just sounds silly.", ">\n\nSeptember ❤️", ">\n\nOmg. I love this. Especially the text blurbs on the pictures. Very funny and adorable!", ">\n\nSounds like they understand cats are required if you want social media traction", ">\n\nI have never wanted to buy a calendar more than I do now!", ">\n\nOn the one hand, I applaud the idea.\nOn the other hand, the photoshop skills look like they came from the army corps of engineers.", ">\n\nWould you actually want them to look like they were perfectly matched to each environment? I'm pretty sure the comedic effect is all that matters here.\nAnd besides, it was just one engineer that created this on their spare time, rather than an official ACE production.", ">\n\nI was mainly being a bit snarky because the internet. That, and what I said was objectively true.", ">\n\nCan confirm, the Corps of Engineers fuckkkkks", ">\n\nGoddammit I just bought my 2023 calendar too lol", ">\n\nThat’s cute though, not worrisome like a lot of other r/nottheonion posts.", ">\n\nAs ever, the Army Corps of Engineers are the one branch of the US state that can get the important shit done", ">\n\nFrom the comments ITT it's evident that most people are unaware of how important they are to the lives of the majority of productive people in this country (people who live near a coastline or a major body of water). It's not just dams and rivers, it's the actual physical coastline of america that they look after.", ">\n\nYup, it seems double edged- people think oh, they're the army corps and assumes they must be doing only military stuff. But equally if it was civilianised no doubt it'd be a target for cuts. An incredible org, regardless. And whether it's cats or weather or warming or the collapse of neglected infrastructure they're going to get more and more important so it's a damn good thing they exist because in 2023, nobody would invent them...", ">\n\nUSACE is an agency that is funded by the DOD but is vastly ran by civilians. There are very few enlisted or commissioned people in the army corps.", ">\n\nOK this is a thing and this is awesome", ">\n\nOops, I had \"Zombie Redneck Torture Family\" in the betting pool.", ">\n\nGrumble. Never gonna see a merman...", ">\n\nUSACE Portland District is one of the absolute best public sector social media presences out there. Seriously. Check it out.", ">\n\nCats in military pictures is an entire IG channel", ">\n\nGood boot", ">\n\nCommand team must be TDY", ">\n\nThat was even better than the title made me think it would be.", ">\n\nI support my tax dollars going to causes such as this.", ">\n\nFinally tax dollars doing something good", ">\n\nI’m kind of disappointed. From the title, I thought there would be photos of actual big cats attacking infrastructure, not photoshopped domestic cats. Anyone have a photo of a puma going after an electrical substation? Or a tiger gnawing on a water line?", ">\n\nNo. No one has that. Would be very interesting though to compile a calendar like that. Peace brother.", ">\n\nGreat, now I need a color printer.\nSeriously, thank you u/radioman8414!", ">\n\nThis is how I want my tax money spent. Downloaded and put up in my office!", ">\n\nThe regional social media guy who put this together is constantly hilarious", ">\n\nGreatest calendar of 2023.", ">\n\nI need one of these for my office! I've worked on some of these dams!", ">\n\nCan I ask you some dam questions?? I’m sure you know a lot of dam information. I’m sure all of us would love some dam stories. Thank you.", ">\n\nSure way to have a more interesting calendar than just infrastructure.", ">\n\nI would so adopt one if they existed.", ">\n\nI've heard army corps of engineers are very difficult to house train. May want to consider before adopting one.", ">\n\nTouché.", ">\n\nThat's amazing, thank you for posting it!", ">\n\nIs there anywhere to buy a nice physical copy of the calendar?", ">\n\nThose cats are mind-controlled by taxoplasmosis alien ameobas!", ">\n\nI was thinking this was gonna be mountain lions taking out maintenance huts or something like that. This is so much better", ">\n\nI’m the daughter of a former Portland, Oregon, US Army Corps Engineer, and I can confirm they are a strange crew. It makes me view the dams on the Columbia River fondly?", ">\n\nI love this so much.", ">\n\nDude. Awesome.", ">\n\nI love this! My astronomy teacher once did a talk on space cats. It was hysterical. Out of the blue he showed us pictures of space with cats added in. He felt we needed a fun class for laughs. I want this calendar.", ">\n\nThis would be really cool if they got a decent digital artist. But they didn't, they used photoshop about as well as I can.", ">\n\nI think that adds to the charm", ">\n\nDon't even need to see it, where can I buy it", ">\n\nFrom the link - \"Because the Army Corps is a Government Agency, the calendar is in public domain and totally free to download and print\"", ">\n\nThis is so funny, because it’s my Dad’s old workplace (from 1971 until he retired). My father, however, has zero sense of humor so he’d never work on something like this.", ">\n\nI met a guy from the Army Corps of Engineers when I worked for the EPA. Smartest guy I've ever met and the 2nd most hippe like person I've ever met. I'd like to think he had something to do with this idea.", ">\n\nFinally the massive military budget of the US is put to good use.", ">\n\nThis is awesome. I might have to buy one.", ">\n\nNo need. It's free, though you have to print it yourself if you want a physical copy", ">\n\nThis is so adorable! I approve wholeheartedly.", ">\n\nIt's about time.", ">\n\nSappers lead the way", ">\n\nI have so much love for this.", ">\n\nEhisssayons.", ">\n\nLove it.", ">\n\nUnintended benefits of relaxed Marijuana policies :)", ">\n\nUsace has not relaxed cannabis policies. No federal agency has", ">\n\nThey certainly have relaxed policy, even though federal law hasn't changed. It's legal in my state and the current administration has announced they won't be pursuing user level Marijuana charges at the federal level.\nWake up.", ">\n\nUSACE still falls under the same policies as the rest of the army. They're treated as DA civilians, and subject to periodic biochemical testing and the resultant consequences if they pee hot. The army has, and will not in the foreseeable future, relax any policy regarding marijuana.", ">\n\nAdorable idea; wish they had hired someone better at photoshop", ">\n\nIts a free gag calendar that was probably just put together by someone for fun in their spare time. Considering the state of infrastructure in the US I don't imagine the Corps of Engineers has a lot of extra spending money to throw around", ">\n\nIf they were smart, they would print it for us and sell it. I don't want a crappy calender that I printed on regular paper, I want the real thing and I would be glad to pay for it.", ">\n\nGenius!! This needs to be a trend. Reddit, make it so...", ">\n\nfuck yeah we finally gonna balance the budget", ">\n\nDecember's hilarious. I want this calender.", ">\n\nYou can totally tell that this is not real. The lighting on the cats is so obviously different than the environmental mistake. Pathetic effort infrastructure geeks.", ">\n\nSo they can blame cats for shoddy workmanship and lax maintenance.", ">\n\nDon't capitalize \"Of\" in titles", ">\n\nWish they'd focus on not taking eight years to permit a fucking project, those lazy excuses for engineers.", ">\n\nYou’re crazy dude. These peeps have built some amazing things. Extremely impressive.", ">\n\nThey used to.", ">\n\n😂", ">\n\nThis whole absurd thing is exactly my sense of humour. LOVE it.", ">\n\nOregon! I've seen the one at Detroit Dam. Sneaky bugger. Hangs out with Bigfoot.", ">\n\nI need this", ">\n\nThat's some adorable terrorism right there.", ">\n\nI remember seeing them, on quad bikes, with a lot of equipment, on Myrtle Beach beaches, I always wondered what they were doing...", ">\n\nI love this sequel to Beginning of the End!", ">\n\nIs there a way I can buy a physical version?", ">\n\nThey're Demo-cats!", ">\n\nAny recommendations of the best way to get this printed semi-professionally? I tried checking Costco photo centre but they make you use a template.", ">\n\nOf course it’s Portland.", ">\n\nKind of disappointing I can't actually buy a printed one. My daughter would love this.", ">\n\nA pretty good idea for a poster. Who doesn't like cats being cats?", ">\n\nI really wish I had become a part of the ACOE but my mother didn't want her only son in the military.", ">\n\nUsace has civilian positions you're employed by the army, but you don't go through basic", ">\n\nI hope they pay more than Nidec.", ">\n\nThanks for sharing! Downloaded and got my new Lock Screen wallpaper.", ">\n\nDecember is 🔥", ">\n\nObligatory Cat Dynamics", ">\n\nPoliticians will say this is the proof of the REAL reason of why our infrastructure is deteriorating, then vote in a measure to hire their friends and family to counter this threat.", ">\n\nI didnt know cats were domestic terrorists like Republicans. lol", ">\n\nThis is the only kind of apocalypse I could see myself getting excited about.", ">\n\nAugust a missed opportunity to have CAT Excavators.", ">\n\nYou have my attention.", ">\n\nSmart move", ">\n\nGod help us.", ">\n\nBest thing to come out of the Army post WWII.", ">\n\n🤔", ">\n\n\"Let's write a two paragraph article about something freely available on the internet and make absolutely no attempt to actually tell you where to find it\".", ">\n\nCatjira!", ">\n\nhilarious!", ">\n\nFinally", ">\n\nThis is the oniony-est story I’ve seen on here in a while", ">\n\nCant wait for the next spending bill to include cat proofing our infrastructure", ">\n\nHonestly… I’d buy it.", ">\n\nWish I would have heard of that in November or so. This seems unique, fun and a great idea for a calendar.", ">\n\nI heard about this from Last Podcast on the Left, glad to see it pop up on my feed with pictures!", ">\n\nI'm gonna need an NSN For that...", ">\n\nOf course it’s the Portland District", ">\n\nHonestly this is worth buying", ">\n\nIm not a cat person, but I would buy the calendar.", ">\n\nAny way to view the album without losing my mind on that website? God it's shit on mobile.", ">\n\nI especially love how June just looks like a well framed optical illusion photo.", ">\n\nThis is cute and all, but man, it seems a little poor in taste that August is a kitty-shaped military drone blowing up an Iraqi preschool" ]

[ "Imagine the work order. \nYour boss comes to you and says, \"Hey, you're in charge of the cats calendar.\"\n\"What calendar?\"\n\"The one with cats attacking infrastructure?\"\n\"What?\"", ">\n\nyou miss ONE day...", ">\n\nHail Vectron!", ">\n\nBy Vectron!", ">\n\nFor those yet to experience the holy might of Vectron's kindly claw", ">\n\nThank you. I had no idea.", ">\n\nYou are most welcome by Vectron", ">\n\nFor the love of all that is Vectron, your speech warms my Vectronic heart.", ">\n\nMay Vectron’s beard shed its benevolence upon us. 🙏🏻🙏🏻", ">\n\nAnd may all of his correspondence to us be sent Vectronically. So it is written, so shall it be done.", ">\n\nI live in Oregon and started to recognize a bunch of the dams, so I was like, “huh, that’s kinda cool.” Then I saw the text at the bottom of the first page. Portland District. Now a cat calendar makes perfect sense.", ">\n\nSame thing happened to me. I think I'm going to head to kinko's and have them print it out for me.", ">\n\nTell them you need to print some important official military documents before you show them what it is", ">\n\nDon’t forget to tell them you need it right meow!", ">\n\nWho will protect our infrastructure from this menace?", ">\n\nAn array of laser pointers.", ">\n\ncut to giant laser pointer satellite", ">\n\nomigod the jewish space lasers were real", ">\n\n*meowish space lasers", ">\n\nHey that's racist", ">\n\nI think it would be cheaper to buy a calendar than use the ink/toner required to print it.", ">\n\nThat's why you print it at work.", ">\n\nhaha true, oh wait I work from home...", ">\n\nIf you print from home for work you can write printer supplies off on your taxes :)", ">\n\nUh yes boss I needed a calendar, so… oh what? Use the company one? Ummm but the US army has a really nice one and I thought I’d be patriotic - what? Oh, yeah I know we’re in Canada, I just…", ">\n\nPortland is pretty much wannabe Vancouver, BC. I say it goes!", ">\n\nExactly what a Canadian would say...", ">\n\nGoodies, goodie goodie, yum yum.", ">\n\nI just scrolled until I found The Goodies reference but was wondering if I was going to find one at all.", ">\n\nIt's way down the list, isn't it? \n/knees hurt.", ">\n\nOw, my back! Get off my lawn!", ">\n\nOne engineer did it in his free time, and released it for use through the corps. \nThis was NOT government funded.", ">\n\nEven if it was government funded, I support this.", ">\n\nEven if it was government funded it would've been like maybe one day of pay at most? Not a ton for the amount of publicity they'll get that might make them even more money.", ">\n\nAssuming they already have the infrastructure pictures I would be surprised if it took more than 4 work hours. Also for chronically underfunded agencies that kind of PR is exactly how you get voters to convince the politicians to increase funds. I look forward to NASA figuring out how to photoshop giant cats playing with the planets like balls of yarn for their calendar", ">\n\n\nI look forward to NASA figuring out how to photoshop giant cats playing with the planets like balls of yarn for their calendar \n\nWell let me introduce you to the most bizarre social media messaging from an official U.S. government agency: The U.S. Consumer Product Safety Commission's Instagram feed. \nAnd before I catch any \"there's no way this is real\" replies, here's the Washington Post covering it: \n\nHow a federal bureaucrat uses astronaut babies and dogs riding pigeons to try to save your life", ">\n\nThis is rad!", ">\n\nCISA losing their shit rn", ">\n\nI would like one.", ">\n\nIt's a free PDF.", ">\n\nNo he would like one of the cats", ">\n\nyOu wOuLdN'T DoWnloAd a cAT", ">\n\nI can’t believe they included Sherlock getting knocked off a cliff. At least he didn’t jump this time.", ">\n\nI'm shocked that you're the only person I've seen comment on this so far! it's hilarious", ">\n\n\"Every year, dozens of cats attack important infrastructure for our country causing dozens of dollars of damage. Won't you help?\"", ">\n\nI heard this with Sarah McLoughlin's voice", ">\n\nArmy Cats", ">\n\nNow do it with pictures of our crumbling infrastructure.", ">\n\nThis seems like one of those things that is somehow going to age poorly given our Universe's current sense of irony. I don't know how exactly, but there's going to be some mass tragedy involving cats and a suspension bridge or something this year.", ">\n\nThe first image kind of reads like \"this infrastructure is super important so don't damage it\". The calendar almost seems like a shopping list for domestic terrorists or something lol.", ">\n\nI mean, pretty obvious that dams, substations, bridges and the like are good targets for chaos. Google maps gives you all this plus Police stations and everything, with photos and the address. Useless to worry about it", ">\n\nSeriously, anyone who unironicly think terrorists were waiting for a cat calendar to list a bunch of locations to bomb is paranoid about the wrong things.", ">\n\nCats would hunt and eat us if they were bigger than us", ">\n\nThey already do, they are called Tigers.", ">\n\nIf there were smaller tigers, we would keep them as pets, but they'd break all our stuff to prove they're still in charge.", ">\n\nThey already do, they are called Cats.", ">\n\nOH MY GOD!", ">\n\nMy tabby is a cute little tiger", ">\n\nI knew we had infrastructure challenges, but I didn't realize we were facing an infrastructure cat-astrophe!", ">\n\nTake my r/angryupvote", ">\n\nI love how shitty the photoshop is. Really ties it all together", ">\n\nYeah I like the idea--but the pictures chosen and color grading are all off. I'd like this idea better executed more professionally.", ">\n\nOh no I'm serious. The unprofessionalism is the best part. I would absolutely pay money for this", ">\n\nOnly only thing weirder is gonna be their crazy ass plan to save the infrastructure.", ">\n\nIt's the engineer Corp, they can build giant cat carriers.", ">\n\nI guess anything beats the 40 million they spend on viagra to keep the soldiers saluting.", ">\n\nThis is delightful", ">\n\ni was imagining mountain lions breaking in to dumpsters or something, not giant house cats gnawing on substations, not disappointed.", ">\n\nI don’t need a calendar now that our pocket rectangles handle all of that for us, but I really want this calendar.", ">\n\nIt is really convenient to just walk by my schedule versus having to pull it up, scroll, click and expand. I tend to forget about things if I don’t see it in front of me, but that’s just how my brain works. Plus if you’re on the phone trying to schedule something it’s nice to write it out too.", ">\n\nI'm sorry, we're already booked for giant spiders.", ">\n\nI personally kinda love this.", ">\n\nBest use of a miniscule amount of our tax dollars in the entire US $1.7T budget. US Army Corp wins the internet today!", ">\n\nHonestly, the entire army corps of engineers may be one of highest rates of return on public good vs funding", ">\n\nSeriously. They do a shit ton of quality and important public work on a relatively shoe-string budget for engineering. I have a lot of respect for the people that work at the USACOE.", ">\n\nSeptember, now that one is art", ">\n\nHaters will say it's Photoshop.", ">\n\nThey’ve never seen Catzilla.", ">\n\nHero of the Week! Hail yourself!", ">\n\nThere it is!", ">\n\n\nThe Army Corps Of Engineers Has Released a 2023 Calendar Of Giant Cats Attacking <\n\nr/brand new sentence \nAlso, giant cats attacking infrastructure is so 2020. In 2023 it just sounds silly.", ">\n\nSeptember ❤️", ">\n\nOmg. I love this. Especially the text blurbs on the pictures. Very funny and adorable!", ">\n\nSounds like they understand cats are required if you want social media traction", ">\n\nI have never wanted to buy a calendar more than I do now!", ">\n\nOn the one hand, I applaud the idea.\nOn the other hand, the photoshop skills look like they came from the army corps of engineers.", ">\n\nWould you actually want them to look like they were perfectly matched to each environment? I'm pretty sure the comedic effect is all that matters here.\nAnd besides, it was just one engineer that created this on their spare time, rather than an official ACE production.", ">\n\nI was mainly being a bit snarky because the internet. That, and what I said was objectively true.", ">\n\nCan confirm, the Corps of Engineers fuckkkkks", ">\n\nGoddammit I just bought my 2023 calendar too lol", ">\n\nThat’s cute though, not worrisome like a lot of other r/nottheonion posts.", ">\n\nAs ever, the Army Corps of Engineers are the one branch of the US state that can get the important shit done", ">\n\nFrom the comments ITT it's evident that most people are unaware of how important they are to the lives of the majority of productive people in this country (people who live near a coastline or a major body of water). It's not just dams and rivers, it's the actual physical coastline of america that they look after.", ">\n\nYup, it seems double edged- people think oh, they're the army corps and assumes they must be doing only military stuff. But equally if it was civilianised no doubt it'd be a target for cuts. An incredible org, regardless. And whether it's cats or weather or warming or the collapse of neglected infrastructure they're going to get more and more important so it's a damn good thing they exist because in 2023, nobody would invent them...", ">\n\nUSACE is an agency that is funded by the DOD but is vastly ran by civilians. There are very few enlisted or commissioned people in the army corps.", ">\n\nOK this is a thing and this is awesome", ">\n\nOops, I had \"Zombie Redneck Torture Family\" in the betting pool.", ">\n\nGrumble. Never gonna see a merman...", ">\n\nUSACE Portland District is one of the absolute best public sector social media presences out there. Seriously. Check it out.", ">\n\nCats in military pictures is an entire IG channel", ">\n\nGood boot", ">\n\nCommand team must be TDY", ">\n\nThat was even better than the title made me think it would be.", ">\n\nI support my tax dollars going to causes such as this.", ">\n\nFinally tax dollars doing something good", ">\n\nI’m kind of disappointed. From the title, I thought there would be photos of actual big cats attacking infrastructure, not photoshopped domestic cats. Anyone have a photo of a puma going after an electrical substation? Or a tiger gnawing on a water line?", ">\n\nNo. No one has that. Would be very interesting though to compile a calendar like that. Peace brother.", ">\n\nGreat, now I need a color printer.\nSeriously, thank you u/radioman8414!", ">\n\nThis is how I want my tax money spent. Downloaded and put up in my office!", ">\n\nThe regional social media guy who put this together is constantly hilarious", ">\n\nGreatest calendar of 2023.", ">\n\nI need one of these for my office! I've worked on some of these dams!", ">\n\nCan I ask you some dam questions?? I’m sure you know a lot of dam information. I’m sure all of us would love some dam stories. Thank you.", ">\n\nSure way to have a more interesting calendar than just infrastructure.", ">\n\nI would so adopt one if they existed.", ">\n\nI've heard army corps of engineers are very difficult to house train. May want to consider before adopting one.", ">\n\nTouché.", ">\n\nThat's amazing, thank you for posting it!", ">\n\nIs there anywhere to buy a nice physical copy of the calendar?", ">\n\nThose cats are mind-controlled by taxoplasmosis alien ameobas!", ">\n\nI was thinking this was gonna be mountain lions taking out maintenance huts or something like that. This is so much better", ">\n\nI’m the daughter of a former Portland, Oregon, US Army Corps Engineer, and I can confirm they are a strange crew. It makes me view the dams on the Columbia River fondly?", ">\n\nI love this so much.", ">\n\nDude. Awesome.", ">\n\nI love this! My astronomy teacher once did a talk on space cats. It was hysterical. Out of the blue he showed us pictures of space with cats added in. He felt we needed a fun class for laughs. I want this calendar.", ">\n\nThis would be really cool if they got a decent digital artist. But they didn't, they used photoshop about as well as I can.", ">\n\nI think that adds to the charm", ">\n\nDon't even need to see it, where can I buy it", ">\n\nFrom the link - \"Because the Army Corps is a Government Agency, the calendar is in public domain and totally free to download and print\"", ">\n\nThis is so funny, because it’s my Dad’s old workplace (from 1971 until he retired). My father, however, has zero sense of humor so he’d never work on something like this.", ">\n\nI met a guy from the Army Corps of Engineers when I worked for the EPA. Smartest guy I've ever met and the 2nd most hippe like person I've ever met. I'd like to think he had something to do with this idea.", ">\n\nFinally the massive military budget of the US is put to good use.", ">\n\nThis is awesome. I might have to buy one.", ">\n\nNo need. It's free, though you have to print it yourself if you want a physical copy", ">\n\nThis is so adorable! I approve wholeheartedly.", ">\n\nIt's about time.", ">\n\nSappers lead the way", ">\n\nI have so much love for this.", ">\n\nEhisssayons.", ">\n\nLove it.", ">\n\nUnintended benefits of relaxed Marijuana policies :)", ">\n\nUsace has not relaxed cannabis policies. No federal agency has", ">\n\nThey certainly have relaxed policy, even though federal law hasn't changed. It's legal in my state and the current administration has announced they won't be pursuing user level Marijuana charges at the federal level.\nWake up.", ">\n\nUSACE still falls under the same policies as the rest of the army. They're treated as DA civilians, and subject to periodic biochemical testing and the resultant consequences if they pee hot. The army has, and will not in the foreseeable future, relax any policy regarding marijuana.", ">\n\nAdorable idea; wish they had hired someone better at photoshop", ">\n\nIts a free gag calendar that was probably just put together by someone for fun in their spare time. Considering the state of infrastructure in the US I don't imagine the Corps of Engineers has a lot of extra spending money to throw around", ">\n\nIf they were smart, they would print it for us and sell it. I don't want a crappy calender that I printed on regular paper, I want the real thing and I would be glad to pay for it.", ">\n\nGenius!! This needs to be a trend. Reddit, make it so...", ">\n\nfuck yeah we finally gonna balance the budget", ">\n\nDecember's hilarious. I want this calender.", ">\n\nYou can totally tell that this is not real. The lighting on the cats is so obviously different than the environmental mistake. Pathetic effort infrastructure geeks.", ">\n\nSo they can blame cats for shoddy workmanship and lax maintenance.", ">\n\nDon't capitalize \"Of\" in titles", ">\n\nWish they'd focus on not taking eight years to permit a fucking project, those lazy excuses for engineers.", ">\n\nYou’re crazy dude. These peeps have built some amazing things. Extremely impressive.", ">\n\nThey used to.", ">\n\n😂", ">\n\nThis whole absurd thing is exactly my sense of humour. LOVE it.", ">\n\nOregon! I've seen the one at Detroit Dam. Sneaky bugger. Hangs out with Bigfoot.", ">\n\nI need this", ">\n\nThat's some adorable terrorism right there.", ">\n\nI remember seeing them, on quad bikes, with a lot of equipment, on Myrtle Beach beaches, I always wondered what they were doing...", ">\n\nI love this sequel to Beginning of the End!", ">\n\nIs there a way I can buy a physical version?", ">\n\nThey're Demo-cats!", ">\n\nAny recommendations of the best way to get this printed semi-professionally? I tried checking Costco photo centre but they make you use a template.", ">\n\nOf course it’s Portland.", ">\n\nKind of disappointing I can't actually buy a printed one. My daughter would love this.", ">\n\nA pretty good idea for a poster. Who doesn't like cats being cats?", ">\n\nI really wish I had become a part of the ACOE but my mother didn't want her only son in the military.", ">\n\nUsace has civilian positions you're employed by the army, but you don't go through basic", ">\n\nI hope they pay more than Nidec.", ">\n\nThanks for sharing! Downloaded and got my new Lock Screen wallpaper.", ">\n\nDecember is 🔥", ">\n\nObligatory Cat Dynamics", ">\n\nPoliticians will say this is the proof of the REAL reason of why our infrastructure is deteriorating, then vote in a measure to hire their friends and family to counter this threat.", ">\n\nI didnt know cats were domestic terrorists like Republicans. lol", ">\n\nThis is the only kind of apocalypse I could see myself getting excited about.", ">\n\nAugust a missed opportunity to have CAT Excavators.", ">\n\nYou have my attention.", ">\n\nSmart move", ">\n\nGod help us.", ">\n\nBest thing to come out of the Army post WWII.", ">\n\n🤔", ">\n\n\"Let's write a two paragraph article about something freely available on the internet and make absolutely no attempt to actually tell you where to find it\".", ">\n\nCatjira!", ">\n\nhilarious!", ">\n\nFinally", ">\n\nThis is the oniony-est story I’ve seen on here in a while", ">\n\nCant wait for the next spending bill to include cat proofing our infrastructure", ">\n\nHonestly… I’d buy it.", ">\n\nWish I would have heard of that in November or so. This seems unique, fun and a great idea for a calendar.", ">\n\nI heard about this from Last Podcast on the Left, glad to see it pop up on my feed with pictures!", ">\n\nI'm gonna need an NSN For that...", ">\n\nOf course it’s the Portland District", ">\n\nHonestly this is worth buying", ">\n\nIm not a cat person, but I would buy the calendar.", ">\n\nAny way to view the album without losing my mind on that website? God it's shit on mobile.", ">\n\nI especially love how June just looks like a well framed optical illusion photo.", ">\n\nThis is cute and all, but man, it seems a little poor in taste that August is a kitty-shaped military drone blowing up an Iraqi preschool", ">\n\nWhat did Oregon do to deserve this" ]

[ "Imagine the work order. \nYour boss comes to you and says, \"Hey, you're in charge of the cats calendar.\"\n\"What calendar?\"\n\"The one with cats attacking infrastructure?\"\n\"What?\"", ">\n\nyou miss ONE day...", ">\n\nHail Vectron!", ">\n\nBy Vectron!", ">\n\nFor those yet to experience the holy might of Vectron's kindly claw", ">\n\nThank you. I had no idea.", ">\n\nYou are most welcome by Vectron", ">\n\nFor the love of all that is Vectron, your speech warms my Vectronic heart.", ">\n\nMay Vectron’s beard shed its benevolence upon us. 🙏🏻🙏🏻", ">\n\nAnd may all of his correspondence to us be sent Vectronically. So it is written, so shall it be done.", ">\n\nI live in Oregon and started to recognize a bunch of the dams, so I was like, “huh, that’s kinda cool.” Then I saw the text at the bottom of the first page. Portland District. Now a cat calendar makes perfect sense.", ">\n\nSame thing happened to me. I think I'm going to head to kinko's and have them print it out for me.", ">\n\nTell them you need to print some important official military documents before you show them what it is", ">\n\nDon’t forget to tell them you need it right meow!", ">\n\nWho will protect our infrastructure from this menace?", ">\n\nAn array of laser pointers.", ">\n\ncut to giant laser pointer satellite", ">\n\nomigod the jewish space lasers were real", ">\n\n*meowish space lasers", ">\n\nHey that's racist", ">\n\nI think it would be cheaper to buy a calendar than use the ink/toner required to print it.", ">\n\nThat's why you print it at work.", ">\n\nhaha true, oh wait I work from home...", ">\n\nIf you print from home for work you can write printer supplies off on your taxes :)", ">\n\nUh yes boss I needed a calendar, so… oh what? Use the company one? Ummm but the US army has a really nice one and I thought I’d be patriotic - what? Oh, yeah I know we’re in Canada, I just…", ">\n\nPortland is pretty much wannabe Vancouver, BC. I say it goes!", ">\n\nExactly what a Canadian would say...", ">\n\nGoodies, goodie goodie, yum yum.", ">\n\nI just scrolled until I found The Goodies reference but was wondering if I was going to find one at all.", ">\n\nIt's way down the list, isn't it? \n/knees hurt.", ">\n\nOw, my back! Get off my lawn!", ">\n\nOne engineer did it in his free time, and released it for use through the corps. \nThis was NOT government funded.", ">\n\nEven if it was government funded, I support this.", ">\n\nEven if it was government funded it would've been like maybe one day of pay at most? Not a ton for the amount of publicity they'll get that might make them even more money.", ">\n\nAssuming they already have the infrastructure pictures I would be surprised if it took more than 4 work hours. Also for chronically underfunded agencies that kind of PR is exactly how you get voters to convince the politicians to increase funds. I look forward to NASA figuring out how to photoshop giant cats playing with the planets like balls of yarn for their calendar", ">\n\n\nI look forward to NASA figuring out how to photoshop giant cats playing with the planets like balls of yarn for their calendar \n\nWell let me introduce you to the most bizarre social media messaging from an official U.S. government agency: The U.S. Consumer Product Safety Commission's Instagram feed. \nAnd before I catch any \"there's no way this is real\" replies, here's the Washington Post covering it: \n\nHow a federal bureaucrat uses astronaut babies and dogs riding pigeons to try to save your life", ">\n\nThis is rad!", ">\n\nCISA losing their shit rn", ">\n\nI would like one.", ">\n\nIt's a free PDF.", ">\n\nNo he would like one of the cats", ">\n\nyOu wOuLdN'T DoWnloAd a cAT", ">\n\nI can’t believe they included Sherlock getting knocked off a cliff. At least he didn’t jump this time.", ">\n\nI'm shocked that you're the only person I've seen comment on this so far! it's hilarious", ">\n\n\"Every year, dozens of cats attack important infrastructure for our country causing dozens of dollars of damage. Won't you help?\"", ">\n\nI heard this with Sarah McLoughlin's voice", ">\n\nArmy Cats", ">\n\nNow do it with pictures of our crumbling infrastructure.", ">\n\nThis seems like one of those things that is somehow going to age poorly given our Universe's current sense of irony. I don't know how exactly, but there's going to be some mass tragedy involving cats and a suspension bridge or something this year.", ">\n\nThe first image kind of reads like \"this infrastructure is super important so don't damage it\". The calendar almost seems like a shopping list for domestic terrorists or something lol.", ">\n\nI mean, pretty obvious that dams, substations, bridges and the like are good targets for chaos. Google maps gives you all this plus Police stations and everything, with photos and the address. Useless to worry about it", ">\n\nSeriously, anyone who unironicly think terrorists were waiting for a cat calendar to list a bunch of locations to bomb is paranoid about the wrong things.", ">\n\nCats would hunt and eat us if they were bigger than us", ">\n\nThey already do, they are called Tigers.", ">\n\nIf there were smaller tigers, we would keep them as pets, but they'd break all our stuff to prove they're still in charge.", ">\n\nThey already do, they are called Cats.", ">\n\nOH MY GOD!", ">\n\nMy tabby is a cute little tiger", ">\n\nI knew we had infrastructure challenges, but I didn't realize we were facing an infrastructure cat-astrophe!", ">\n\nTake my r/angryupvote", ">\n\nI love how shitty the photoshop is. Really ties it all together", ">\n\nYeah I like the idea--but the pictures chosen and color grading are all off. I'd like this idea better executed more professionally.", ">\n\nOh no I'm serious. The unprofessionalism is the best part. I would absolutely pay money for this", ">\n\nOnly only thing weirder is gonna be their crazy ass plan to save the infrastructure.", ">\n\nIt's the engineer Corp, they can build giant cat carriers.", ">\n\nI guess anything beats the 40 million they spend on viagra to keep the soldiers saluting.", ">\n\nThis is delightful", ">\n\ni was imagining mountain lions breaking in to dumpsters or something, not giant house cats gnawing on substations, not disappointed.", ">\n\nI don’t need a calendar now that our pocket rectangles handle all of that for us, but I really want this calendar.", ">\n\nIt is really convenient to just walk by my schedule versus having to pull it up, scroll, click and expand. I tend to forget about things if I don’t see it in front of me, but that’s just how my brain works. Plus if you’re on the phone trying to schedule something it’s nice to write it out too.", ">\n\nI'm sorry, we're already booked for giant spiders.", ">\n\nI personally kinda love this.", ">\n\nBest use of a miniscule amount of our tax dollars in the entire US $1.7T budget. US Army Corp wins the internet today!", ">\n\nHonestly, the entire army corps of engineers may be one of highest rates of return on public good vs funding", ">\n\nSeriously. They do a shit ton of quality and important public work on a relatively shoe-string budget for engineering. I have a lot of respect for the people that work at the USACOE.", ">\n\nSeptember, now that one is art", ">\n\nHaters will say it's Photoshop.", ">\n\nThey’ve never seen Catzilla.", ">\n\nHero of the Week! Hail yourself!", ">\n\nThere it is!", ">\n\n\nThe Army Corps Of Engineers Has Released a 2023 Calendar Of Giant Cats Attacking <\n\nr/brand new sentence \nAlso, giant cats attacking infrastructure is so 2020. In 2023 it just sounds silly.", ">\n\nSeptember ❤️", ">\n\nOmg. I love this. Especially the text blurbs on the pictures. Very funny and adorable!", ">\n\nSounds like they understand cats are required if you want social media traction", ">\n\nI have never wanted to buy a calendar more than I do now!", ">\n\nOn the one hand, I applaud the idea.\nOn the other hand, the photoshop skills look like they came from the army corps of engineers.", ">\n\nWould you actually want them to look like they were perfectly matched to each environment? I'm pretty sure the comedic effect is all that matters here.\nAnd besides, it was just one engineer that created this on their spare time, rather than an official ACE production.", ">\n\nI was mainly being a bit snarky because the internet. That, and what I said was objectively true.", ">\n\nCan confirm, the Corps of Engineers fuckkkkks", ">\n\nGoddammit I just bought my 2023 calendar too lol", ">\n\nThat’s cute though, not worrisome like a lot of other r/nottheonion posts.", ">\n\nAs ever, the Army Corps of Engineers are the one branch of the US state that can get the important shit done", ">\n\nFrom the comments ITT it's evident that most people are unaware of how important they are to the lives of the majority of productive people in this country (people who live near a coastline or a major body of water). It's not just dams and rivers, it's the actual physical coastline of america that they look after.", ">\n\nYup, it seems double edged- people think oh, they're the army corps and assumes they must be doing only military stuff. But equally if it was civilianised no doubt it'd be a target for cuts. An incredible org, regardless. And whether it's cats or weather or warming or the collapse of neglected infrastructure they're going to get more and more important so it's a damn good thing they exist because in 2023, nobody would invent them...", ">\n\nUSACE is an agency that is funded by the DOD but is vastly ran by civilians. There are very few enlisted or commissioned people in the army corps.", ">\n\nOK this is a thing and this is awesome", ">\n\nOops, I had \"Zombie Redneck Torture Family\" in the betting pool.", ">\n\nGrumble. Never gonna see a merman...", ">\n\nUSACE Portland District is one of the absolute best public sector social media presences out there. Seriously. Check it out.", ">\n\nCats in military pictures is an entire IG channel", ">\n\nGood boot", ">\n\nCommand team must be TDY", ">\n\nThat was even better than the title made me think it would be.", ">\n\nI support my tax dollars going to causes such as this.", ">\n\nFinally tax dollars doing something good", ">\n\nI’m kind of disappointed. From the title, I thought there would be photos of actual big cats attacking infrastructure, not photoshopped domestic cats. Anyone have a photo of a puma going after an electrical substation? Or a tiger gnawing on a water line?", ">\n\nNo. No one has that. Would be very interesting though to compile a calendar like that. Peace brother.", ">\n\nGreat, now I need a color printer.\nSeriously, thank you u/radioman8414!", ">\n\nThis is how I want my tax money spent. Downloaded and put up in my office!", ">\n\nThe regional social media guy who put this together is constantly hilarious", ">\n\nGreatest calendar of 2023.", ">\n\nI need one of these for my office! I've worked on some of these dams!", ">\n\nCan I ask you some dam questions?? I’m sure you know a lot of dam information. I’m sure all of us would love some dam stories. Thank you.", ">\n\nSure way to have a more interesting calendar than just infrastructure.", ">\n\nI would so adopt one if they existed.", ">\n\nI've heard army corps of engineers are very difficult to house train. May want to consider before adopting one.", ">\n\nTouché.", ">\n\nThat's amazing, thank you for posting it!", ">\n\nIs there anywhere to buy a nice physical copy of the calendar?", ">\n\nThose cats are mind-controlled by taxoplasmosis alien ameobas!", ">\n\nI was thinking this was gonna be mountain lions taking out maintenance huts or something like that. This is so much better", ">\n\nI’m the daughter of a former Portland, Oregon, US Army Corps Engineer, and I can confirm they are a strange crew. It makes me view the dams on the Columbia River fondly?", ">\n\nI love this so much.", ">\n\nDude. Awesome.", ">\n\nI love this! My astronomy teacher once did a talk on space cats. It was hysterical. Out of the blue he showed us pictures of space with cats added in. He felt we needed a fun class for laughs. I want this calendar.", ">\n\nThis would be really cool if they got a decent digital artist. But they didn't, they used photoshop about as well as I can.", ">\n\nI think that adds to the charm", ">\n\nDon't even need to see it, where can I buy it", ">\n\nFrom the link - \"Because the Army Corps is a Government Agency, the calendar is in public domain and totally free to download and print\"", ">\n\nThis is so funny, because it’s my Dad’s old workplace (from 1971 until he retired). My father, however, has zero sense of humor so he’d never work on something like this.", ">\n\nI met a guy from the Army Corps of Engineers when I worked for the EPA. Smartest guy I've ever met and the 2nd most hippe like person I've ever met. I'd like to think he had something to do with this idea.", ">\n\nFinally the massive military budget of the US is put to good use.", ">\n\nThis is awesome. I might have to buy one.", ">\n\nNo need. It's free, though you have to print it yourself if you want a physical copy", ">\n\nThis is so adorable! I approve wholeheartedly.", ">\n\nIt's about time.", ">\n\nSappers lead the way", ">\n\nI have so much love for this.", ">\n\nEhisssayons.", ">\n\nLove it.", ">\n\nUnintended benefits of relaxed Marijuana policies :)", ">\n\nUsace has not relaxed cannabis policies. No federal agency has", ">\n\nThey certainly have relaxed policy, even though federal law hasn't changed. It's legal in my state and the current administration has announced they won't be pursuing user level Marijuana charges at the federal level.\nWake up.", ">\n\nUSACE still falls under the same policies as the rest of the army. They're treated as DA civilians, and subject to periodic biochemical testing and the resultant consequences if they pee hot. The army has, and will not in the foreseeable future, relax any policy regarding marijuana.", ">\n\nAdorable idea; wish they had hired someone better at photoshop", ">\n\nIts a free gag calendar that was probably just put together by someone for fun in their spare time. Considering the state of infrastructure in the US I don't imagine the Corps of Engineers has a lot of extra spending money to throw around", ">\n\nIf they were smart, they would print it for us and sell it. I don't want a crappy calender that I printed on regular paper, I want the real thing and I would be glad to pay for it.", ">\n\nGenius!! This needs to be a trend. Reddit, make it so...", ">\n\nfuck yeah we finally gonna balance the budget", ">\n\nDecember's hilarious. I want this calender.", ">\n\nYou can totally tell that this is not real. The lighting on the cats is so obviously different than the environmental mistake. Pathetic effort infrastructure geeks.", ">\n\nSo they can blame cats for shoddy workmanship and lax maintenance.", ">\n\nDon't capitalize \"Of\" in titles", ">\n\nWish they'd focus on not taking eight years to permit a fucking project, those lazy excuses for engineers.", ">\n\nYou’re crazy dude. These peeps have built some amazing things. Extremely impressive.", ">\n\nThey used to.", ">\n\n😂", ">\n\nThis whole absurd thing is exactly my sense of humour. LOVE it.", ">\n\nOregon! I've seen the one at Detroit Dam. Sneaky bugger. Hangs out with Bigfoot.", ">\n\nI need this", ">\n\nThat's some adorable terrorism right there.", ">\n\nI remember seeing them, on quad bikes, with a lot of equipment, on Myrtle Beach beaches, I always wondered what they were doing...", ">\n\nI love this sequel to Beginning of the End!", ">\n\nIs there a way I can buy a physical version?", ">\n\nThey're Demo-cats!", ">\n\nAny recommendations of the best way to get this printed semi-professionally? I tried checking Costco photo centre but they make you use a template.", ">\n\nOf course it’s Portland.", ">\n\nKind of disappointing I can't actually buy a printed one. My daughter would love this.", ">\n\nA pretty good idea for a poster. Who doesn't like cats being cats?", ">\n\nI really wish I had become a part of the ACOE but my mother didn't want her only son in the military.", ">\n\nUsace has civilian positions you're employed by the army, but you don't go through basic", ">\n\nI hope they pay more than Nidec.", ">\n\nThanks for sharing! Downloaded and got my new Lock Screen wallpaper.", ">\n\nDecember is 🔥", ">\n\nObligatory Cat Dynamics", ">\n\nPoliticians will say this is the proof of the REAL reason of why our infrastructure is deteriorating, then vote in a measure to hire their friends and family to counter this threat.", ">\n\nI didnt know cats were domestic terrorists like Republicans. lol", ">\n\nThis is the only kind of apocalypse I could see myself getting excited about.", ">\n\nAugust a missed opportunity to have CAT Excavators.", ">\n\nYou have my attention.", ">\n\nSmart move", ">\n\nGod help us.", ">\n\nBest thing to come out of the Army post WWII.", ">\n\n🤔", ">\n\n\"Let's write a two paragraph article about something freely available on the internet and make absolutely no attempt to actually tell you where to find it\".", ">\n\nCatjira!", ">\n\nhilarious!", ">\n\nFinally", ">\n\nThis is the oniony-est story I’ve seen on here in a while", ">\n\nCant wait for the next spending bill to include cat proofing our infrastructure", ">\n\nHonestly… I’d buy it.", ">\n\nWish I would have heard of that in November or so. This seems unique, fun and a great idea for a calendar.", ">\n\nI heard about this from Last Podcast on the Left, glad to see it pop up on my feed with pictures!", ">\n\nI'm gonna need an NSN For that...", ">\n\nOf course it’s the Portland District", ">\n\nHonestly this is worth buying", ">\n\nIm not a cat person, but I would buy the calendar.", ">\n\nAny way to view the album without losing my mind on that website? God it's shit on mobile.", ">\n\nI especially love how June just looks like a well framed optical illusion photo.", ">\n\nThis is cute and all, but man, it seems a little poor in taste that August is a kitty-shaped military drone blowing up an Iraqi preschool", ">\n\nWhat did Oregon do to deserve this", ">\n\nGee I read that and instantly I thought they had done a study and released an estimated calendar of when an where giant cats would attack infrastructure in 2023. Phew." ]

[ "Imagine the work order. \nYour boss comes to you and says, \"Hey, you're in charge of the cats calendar.\"\n\"What calendar?\"\n\"The one with cats attacking infrastructure?\"\n\"What?\"", ">\n\nyou miss ONE day...", ">\n\nHail Vectron!", ">\n\nBy Vectron!", ">\n\nFor those yet to experience the holy might of Vectron's kindly claw", ">\n\nThank you. I had no idea.", ">\n\nYou are most welcome by Vectron", ">\n\nFor the love of all that is Vectron, your speech warms my Vectronic heart.", ">\n\nMay Vectron’s beard shed its benevolence upon us. 🙏🏻🙏🏻", ">\n\nAnd may all of his correspondence to us be sent Vectronically. So it is written, so shall it be done.", ">\n\nI live in Oregon and started to recognize a bunch of the dams, so I was like, “huh, that’s kinda cool.” Then I saw the text at the bottom of the first page. Portland District. Now a cat calendar makes perfect sense.", ">\n\nSame thing happened to me. I think I'm going to head to kinko's and have them print it out for me.", ">\n\nTell them you need to print some important official military documents before you show them what it is", ">\n\nDon’t forget to tell them you need it right meow!", ">\n\nWho will protect our infrastructure from this menace?", ">\n\nAn array of laser pointers.", ">\n\ncut to giant laser pointer satellite", ">\n\nomigod the jewish space lasers were real", ">\n\n*meowish space lasers", ">\n\nHey that's racist", ">\n\nI think it would be cheaper to buy a calendar than use the ink/toner required to print it.", ">\n\nThat's why you print it at work.", ">\n\nhaha true, oh wait I work from home...", ">\n\nIf you print from home for work you can write printer supplies off on your taxes :)", ">\n\nUh yes boss I needed a calendar, so… oh what? Use the company one? Ummm but the US army has a really nice one and I thought I’d be patriotic - what? Oh, yeah I know we’re in Canada, I just…", ">\n\nPortland is pretty much wannabe Vancouver, BC. I say it goes!", ">\n\nExactly what a Canadian would say...", ">\n\nGoodies, goodie goodie, yum yum.", ">\n\nI just scrolled until I found The Goodies reference but was wondering if I was going to find one at all.", ">\n\nIt's way down the list, isn't it? \n/knees hurt.", ">\n\nOw, my back! Get off my lawn!", ">\n\nOne engineer did it in his free time, and released it for use through the corps. \nThis was NOT government funded.", ">\n\nEven if it was government funded, I support this.", ">\n\nEven if it was government funded it would've been like maybe one day of pay at most? Not a ton for the amount of publicity they'll get that might make them even more money.", ">\n\nAssuming they already have the infrastructure pictures I would be surprised if it took more than 4 work hours. Also for chronically underfunded agencies that kind of PR is exactly how you get voters to convince the politicians to increase funds. I look forward to NASA figuring out how to photoshop giant cats playing with the planets like balls of yarn for their calendar", ">\n\n\nI look forward to NASA figuring out how to photoshop giant cats playing with the planets like balls of yarn for their calendar \n\nWell let me introduce you to the most bizarre social media messaging from an official U.S. government agency: The U.S. Consumer Product Safety Commission's Instagram feed. \nAnd before I catch any \"there's no way this is real\" replies, here's the Washington Post covering it: \n\nHow a federal bureaucrat uses astronaut babies and dogs riding pigeons to try to save your life", ">\n\nThis is rad!", ">\n\nCISA losing their shit rn", ">\n\nI would like one.", ">\n\nIt's a free PDF.", ">\n\nNo he would like one of the cats", ">\n\nyOu wOuLdN'T DoWnloAd a cAT", ">\n\nI can’t believe they included Sherlock getting knocked off a cliff. At least he didn’t jump this time.", ">\n\nI'm shocked that you're the only person I've seen comment on this so far! it's hilarious", ">\n\n\"Every year, dozens of cats attack important infrastructure for our country causing dozens of dollars of damage. Won't you help?\"", ">\n\nI heard this with Sarah McLoughlin's voice", ">\n\nArmy Cats", ">\n\nNow do it with pictures of our crumbling infrastructure.", ">\n\nThis seems like one of those things that is somehow going to age poorly given our Universe's current sense of irony. I don't know how exactly, but there's going to be some mass tragedy involving cats and a suspension bridge or something this year.", ">\n\nThe first image kind of reads like \"this infrastructure is super important so don't damage it\". The calendar almost seems like a shopping list for domestic terrorists or something lol.", ">\n\nI mean, pretty obvious that dams, substations, bridges and the like are good targets for chaos. Google maps gives you all this plus Police stations and everything, with photos and the address. Useless to worry about it", ">\n\nSeriously, anyone who unironicly think terrorists were waiting for a cat calendar to list a bunch of locations to bomb is paranoid about the wrong things.", ">\n\nCats would hunt and eat us if they were bigger than us", ">\n\nThey already do, they are called Tigers.", ">\n\nIf there were smaller tigers, we would keep them as pets, but they'd break all our stuff to prove they're still in charge.", ">\n\nThey already do, they are called Cats.", ">\n\nOH MY GOD!", ">\n\nMy tabby is a cute little tiger", ">\n\nI knew we had infrastructure challenges, but I didn't realize we were facing an infrastructure cat-astrophe!", ">\n\nTake my r/angryupvote", ">\n\nI love how shitty the photoshop is. Really ties it all together", ">\n\nYeah I like the idea--but the pictures chosen and color grading are all off. I'd like this idea better executed more professionally.", ">\n\nOh no I'm serious. The unprofessionalism is the best part. I would absolutely pay money for this", ">\n\nOnly only thing weirder is gonna be their crazy ass plan to save the infrastructure.", ">\n\nIt's the engineer Corp, they can build giant cat carriers.", ">\n\nI guess anything beats the 40 million they spend on viagra to keep the soldiers saluting.", ">\n\nThis is delightful", ">\n\ni was imagining mountain lions breaking in to dumpsters or something, not giant house cats gnawing on substations, not disappointed.", ">\n\nI don’t need a calendar now that our pocket rectangles handle all of that for us, but I really want this calendar.", ">\n\nIt is really convenient to just walk by my schedule versus having to pull it up, scroll, click and expand. I tend to forget about things if I don’t see it in front of me, but that’s just how my brain works. Plus if you’re on the phone trying to schedule something it’s nice to write it out too.", ">\n\nI'm sorry, we're already booked for giant spiders.", ">\n\nI personally kinda love this.", ">\n\nBest use of a miniscule amount of our tax dollars in the entire US $1.7T budget. US Army Corp wins the internet today!", ">\n\nHonestly, the entire army corps of engineers may be one of highest rates of return on public good vs funding", ">\n\nSeriously. They do a shit ton of quality and important public work on a relatively shoe-string budget for engineering. I have a lot of respect for the people that work at the USACOE.", ">\n\nSeptember, now that one is art", ">\n\nHaters will say it's Photoshop.", ">\n\nThey’ve never seen Catzilla.", ">\n\nHero of the Week! Hail yourself!", ">\n\nThere it is!", ">\n\n\nThe Army Corps Of Engineers Has Released a 2023 Calendar Of Giant Cats Attacking <\n\nr/brand new sentence \nAlso, giant cats attacking infrastructure is so 2020. In 2023 it just sounds silly.", ">\n\nSeptember ❤️", ">\n\nOmg. I love this. Especially the text blurbs on the pictures. Very funny and adorable!", ">\n\nSounds like they understand cats are required if you want social media traction", ">\n\nI have never wanted to buy a calendar more than I do now!", ">\n\nOn the one hand, I applaud the idea.\nOn the other hand, the photoshop skills look like they came from the army corps of engineers.", ">\n\nWould you actually want them to look like they were perfectly matched to each environment? I'm pretty sure the comedic effect is all that matters here.\nAnd besides, it was just one engineer that created this on their spare time, rather than an official ACE production.", ">\n\nI was mainly being a bit snarky because the internet. That, and what I said was objectively true.", ">\n\nCan confirm, the Corps of Engineers fuckkkkks", ">\n\nGoddammit I just bought my 2023 calendar too lol", ">\n\nThat’s cute though, not worrisome like a lot of other r/nottheonion posts.", ">\n\nAs ever, the Army Corps of Engineers are the one branch of the US state that can get the important shit done", ">\n\nFrom the comments ITT it's evident that most people are unaware of how important they are to the lives of the majority of productive people in this country (people who live near a coastline or a major body of water). It's not just dams and rivers, it's the actual physical coastline of america that they look after.", ">\n\nYup, it seems double edged- people think oh, they're the army corps and assumes they must be doing only military stuff. But equally if it was civilianised no doubt it'd be a target for cuts. An incredible org, regardless. And whether it's cats or weather or warming or the collapse of neglected infrastructure they're going to get more and more important so it's a damn good thing they exist because in 2023, nobody would invent them...", ">\n\nUSACE is an agency that is funded by the DOD but is vastly ran by civilians. There are very few enlisted or commissioned people in the army corps.", ">\n\nOK this is a thing and this is awesome", ">\n\nOops, I had \"Zombie Redneck Torture Family\" in the betting pool.", ">\n\nGrumble. Never gonna see a merman...", ">\n\nUSACE Portland District is one of the absolute best public sector social media presences out there. Seriously. Check it out.", ">\n\nCats in military pictures is an entire IG channel", ">\n\nGood boot", ">\n\nCommand team must be TDY", ">\n\nThat was even better than the title made me think it would be.", ">\n\nI support my tax dollars going to causes such as this.", ">\n\nFinally tax dollars doing something good", ">\n\nI’m kind of disappointed. From the title, I thought there would be photos of actual big cats attacking infrastructure, not photoshopped domestic cats. Anyone have a photo of a puma going after an electrical substation? Or a tiger gnawing on a water line?", ">\n\nNo. No one has that. Would be very interesting though to compile a calendar like that. Peace brother.", ">\n\nGreat, now I need a color printer.\nSeriously, thank you u/radioman8414!", ">\n\nThis is how I want my tax money spent. Downloaded and put up in my office!", ">\n\nThe regional social media guy who put this together is constantly hilarious", ">\n\nGreatest calendar of 2023.", ">\n\nI need one of these for my office! I've worked on some of these dams!", ">\n\nCan I ask you some dam questions?? I’m sure you know a lot of dam information. I’m sure all of us would love some dam stories. Thank you.", ">\n\nSure way to have a more interesting calendar than just infrastructure.", ">\n\nI would so adopt one if they existed.", ">\n\nI've heard army corps of engineers are very difficult to house train. May want to consider before adopting one.", ">\n\nTouché.", ">\n\nThat's amazing, thank you for posting it!", ">\n\nIs there anywhere to buy a nice physical copy of the calendar?", ">\n\nThose cats are mind-controlled by taxoplasmosis alien ameobas!", ">\n\nI was thinking this was gonna be mountain lions taking out maintenance huts or something like that. This is so much better", ">\n\nI’m the daughter of a former Portland, Oregon, US Army Corps Engineer, and I can confirm they are a strange crew. It makes me view the dams on the Columbia River fondly?", ">\n\nI love this so much.", ">\n\nDude. Awesome.", ">\n\nI love this! My astronomy teacher once did a talk on space cats. It was hysterical. Out of the blue he showed us pictures of space with cats added in. He felt we needed a fun class for laughs. I want this calendar.", ">\n\nThis would be really cool if they got a decent digital artist. But they didn't, they used photoshop about as well as I can.", ">\n\nI think that adds to the charm", ">\n\nDon't even need to see it, where can I buy it", ">\n\nFrom the link - \"Because the Army Corps is a Government Agency, the calendar is in public domain and totally free to download and print\"", ">\n\nThis is so funny, because it’s my Dad’s old workplace (from 1971 until he retired). My father, however, has zero sense of humor so he’d never work on something like this.", ">\n\nI met a guy from the Army Corps of Engineers when I worked for the EPA. Smartest guy I've ever met and the 2nd most hippe like person I've ever met. I'd like to think he had something to do with this idea.", ">\n\nFinally the massive military budget of the US is put to good use.", ">\n\nThis is awesome. I might have to buy one.", ">\n\nNo need. It's free, though you have to print it yourself if you want a physical copy", ">\n\nThis is so adorable! I approve wholeheartedly.", ">\n\nIt's about time.", ">\n\nSappers lead the way", ">\n\nI have so much love for this.", ">\n\nEhisssayons.", ">\n\nLove it.", ">\n\nUnintended benefits of relaxed Marijuana policies :)", ">\n\nUsace has not relaxed cannabis policies. No federal agency has", ">\n\nThey certainly have relaxed policy, even though federal law hasn't changed. It's legal in my state and the current administration has announced they won't be pursuing user level Marijuana charges at the federal level.\nWake up.", ">\n\nUSACE still falls under the same policies as the rest of the army. They're treated as DA civilians, and subject to periodic biochemical testing and the resultant consequences if they pee hot. The army has, and will not in the foreseeable future, relax any policy regarding marijuana.", ">\n\nAdorable idea; wish they had hired someone better at photoshop", ">\n\nIts a free gag calendar that was probably just put together by someone for fun in their spare time. Considering the state of infrastructure in the US I don't imagine the Corps of Engineers has a lot of extra spending money to throw around", ">\n\nIf they were smart, they would print it for us and sell it. I don't want a crappy calender that I printed on regular paper, I want the real thing and I would be glad to pay for it.", ">\n\nGenius!! This needs to be a trend. Reddit, make it so...", ">\n\nfuck yeah we finally gonna balance the budget", ">\n\nDecember's hilarious. I want this calender.", ">\n\nYou can totally tell that this is not real. The lighting on the cats is so obviously different than the environmental mistake. Pathetic effort infrastructure geeks.", ">\n\nSo they can blame cats for shoddy workmanship and lax maintenance.", ">\n\nDon't capitalize \"Of\" in titles", ">\n\nWish they'd focus on not taking eight years to permit a fucking project, those lazy excuses for engineers.", ">\n\nYou’re crazy dude. These peeps have built some amazing things. Extremely impressive.", ">\n\nThey used to.", ">\n\n😂", ">\n\nThis whole absurd thing is exactly my sense of humour. LOVE it.", ">\n\nOregon! I've seen the one at Detroit Dam. Sneaky bugger. Hangs out with Bigfoot.", ">\n\nI need this", ">\n\nThat's some adorable terrorism right there.", ">\n\nI remember seeing them, on quad bikes, with a lot of equipment, on Myrtle Beach beaches, I always wondered what they were doing...", ">\n\nI love this sequel to Beginning of the End!", ">\n\nIs there a way I can buy a physical version?", ">\n\nThey're Demo-cats!", ">\n\nAny recommendations of the best way to get this printed semi-professionally? I tried checking Costco photo centre but they make you use a template.", ">\n\nOf course it’s Portland.", ">\n\nKind of disappointing I can't actually buy a printed one. My daughter would love this.", ">\n\nA pretty good idea for a poster. Who doesn't like cats being cats?", ">\n\nI really wish I had become a part of the ACOE but my mother didn't want her only son in the military.", ">\n\nUsace has civilian positions you're employed by the army, but you don't go through basic", ">\n\nI hope they pay more than Nidec.", ">\n\nThanks for sharing! Downloaded and got my new Lock Screen wallpaper.", ">\n\nDecember is 🔥", ">\n\nObligatory Cat Dynamics", ">\n\nPoliticians will say this is the proof of the REAL reason of why our infrastructure is deteriorating, then vote in a measure to hire their friends and family to counter this threat.", ">\n\nI didnt know cats were domestic terrorists like Republicans. lol", ">\n\nThis is the only kind of apocalypse I could see myself getting excited about.", ">\n\nAugust a missed opportunity to have CAT Excavators.", ">\n\nYou have my attention.", ">\n\nSmart move", ">\n\nGod help us.", ">\n\nBest thing to come out of the Army post WWII.", ">\n\n🤔", ">\n\n\"Let's write a two paragraph article about something freely available on the internet and make absolutely no attempt to actually tell you where to find it\".", ">\n\nCatjira!", ">\n\nhilarious!", ">\n\nFinally", ">\n\nThis is the oniony-est story I’ve seen on here in a while", ">\n\nCant wait for the next spending bill to include cat proofing our infrastructure", ">\n\nHonestly… I’d buy it.", ">\n\nWish I would have heard of that in November or so. This seems unique, fun and a great idea for a calendar.", ">\n\nI heard about this from Last Podcast on the Left, glad to see it pop up on my feed with pictures!", ">\n\nI'm gonna need an NSN For that...", ">\n\nOf course it’s the Portland District", ">\n\nHonestly this is worth buying", ">\n\nIm not a cat person, but I would buy the calendar.", ">\n\nAny way to view the album without losing my mind on that website? God it's shit on mobile.", ">\n\nI especially love how June just looks like a well framed optical illusion photo.", ">\n\nThis is cute and all, but man, it seems a little poor in taste that August is a kitty-shaped military drone blowing up an Iraqi preschool", ">\n\nWhat did Oregon do to deserve this", ">\n\nGee I read that and instantly I thought they had done a study and released an estimated calendar of when an where giant cats would attack infrastructure in 2023. Phew.", ">\n\nOn that day, humanity received a grim reminder…" ]

[ "Imagine the work order. \nYour boss comes to you and says, \"Hey, you're in charge of the cats calendar.\"\n\"What calendar?\"\n\"The one with cats attacking infrastructure?\"\n\"What?\"", ">\n\nyou miss ONE day...", ">\n\nHail Vectron!", ">\n\nBy Vectron!", ">\n\nFor those yet to experience the holy might of Vectron's kindly claw", ">\n\nThank you. I had no idea.", ">\n\nYou are most welcome by Vectron", ">\n\nFor the love of all that is Vectron, your speech warms my Vectronic heart.", ">\n\nMay Vectron’s beard shed its benevolence upon us. 🙏🏻🙏🏻", ">\n\nAnd may all of his correspondence to us be sent Vectronically. So it is written, so shall it be done.", ">\n\nI live in Oregon and started to recognize a bunch of the dams, so I was like, “huh, that’s kinda cool.” Then I saw the text at the bottom of the first page. Portland District. Now a cat calendar makes perfect sense.", ">\n\nSame thing happened to me. I think I'm going to head to kinko's and have them print it out for me.", ">\n\nTell them you need to print some important official military documents before you show them what it is", ">\n\nDon’t forget to tell them you need it right meow!", ">\n\nWho will protect our infrastructure from this menace?", ">\n\nAn array of laser pointers.", ">\n\ncut to giant laser pointer satellite", ">\n\nomigod the jewish space lasers were real", ">\n\n*meowish space lasers", ">\n\nHey that's racist", ">\n\nI think it would be cheaper to buy a calendar than use the ink/toner required to print it.", ">\n\nThat's why you print it at work.", ">\n\nhaha true, oh wait I work from home...", ">\n\nIf you print from home for work you can write printer supplies off on your taxes :)", ">\n\nUh yes boss I needed a calendar, so… oh what? Use the company one? Ummm but the US army has a really nice one and I thought I’d be patriotic - what? Oh, yeah I know we’re in Canada, I just…", ">\n\nPortland is pretty much wannabe Vancouver, BC. I say it goes!", ">\n\nExactly what a Canadian would say...", ">\n\nGoodies, goodie goodie, yum yum.", ">\n\nI just scrolled until I found The Goodies reference but was wondering if I was going to find one at all.", ">\n\nIt's way down the list, isn't it? \n/knees hurt.", ">\n\nOw, my back! Get off my lawn!", ">\n\nOne engineer did it in his free time, and released it for use through the corps. \nThis was NOT government funded.", ">\n\nEven if it was government funded, I support this.", ">\n\nEven if it was government funded it would've been like maybe one day of pay at most? Not a ton for the amount of publicity they'll get that might make them even more money.", ">\n\nAssuming they already have the infrastructure pictures I would be surprised if it took more than 4 work hours. Also for chronically underfunded agencies that kind of PR is exactly how you get voters to convince the politicians to increase funds. I look forward to NASA figuring out how to photoshop giant cats playing with the planets like balls of yarn for their calendar", ">\n\n\nI look forward to NASA figuring out how to photoshop giant cats playing with the planets like balls of yarn for their calendar \n\nWell let me introduce you to the most bizarre social media messaging from an official U.S. government agency: The U.S. Consumer Product Safety Commission's Instagram feed. \nAnd before I catch any \"there's no way this is real\" replies, here's the Washington Post covering it: \n\nHow a federal bureaucrat uses astronaut babies and dogs riding pigeons to try to save your life", ">\n\nThis is rad!", ">\n\nCISA losing their shit rn", ">\n\nI would like one.", ">\n\nIt's a free PDF.", ">\n\nNo he would like one of the cats", ">\n\nyOu wOuLdN'T DoWnloAd a cAT", ">\n\nI can’t believe they included Sherlock getting knocked off a cliff. At least he didn’t jump this time.", ">\n\nI'm shocked that you're the only person I've seen comment on this so far! it's hilarious", ">\n\n\"Every year, dozens of cats attack important infrastructure for our country causing dozens of dollars of damage. Won't you help?\"", ">\n\nI heard this with Sarah McLoughlin's voice", ">\n\nArmy Cats", ">\n\nNow do it with pictures of our crumbling infrastructure.", ">\n\nThis seems like one of those things that is somehow going to age poorly given our Universe's current sense of irony. I don't know how exactly, but there's going to be some mass tragedy involving cats and a suspension bridge or something this year.", ">\n\nThe first image kind of reads like \"this infrastructure is super important so don't damage it\". The calendar almost seems like a shopping list for domestic terrorists or something lol.", ">\n\nI mean, pretty obvious that dams, substations, bridges and the like are good targets for chaos. Google maps gives you all this plus Police stations and everything, with photos and the address. Useless to worry about it", ">\n\nSeriously, anyone who unironicly think terrorists were waiting for a cat calendar to list a bunch of locations to bomb is paranoid about the wrong things.", ">\n\nCats would hunt and eat us if they were bigger than us", ">\n\nThey already do, they are called Tigers.", ">\n\nIf there were smaller tigers, we would keep them as pets, but they'd break all our stuff to prove they're still in charge.", ">\n\nThey already do, they are called Cats.", ">\n\nOH MY GOD!", ">\n\nMy tabby is a cute little tiger", ">\n\nI knew we had infrastructure challenges, but I didn't realize we were facing an infrastructure cat-astrophe!", ">\n\nTake my r/angryupvote", ">\n\nI love how shitty the photoshop is. Really ties it all together", ">\n\nYeah I like the idea--but the pictures chosen and color grading are all off. I'd like this idea better executed more professionally.", ">\n\nOh no I'm serious. The unprofessionalism is the best part. I would absolutely pay money for this", ">\n\nOnly only thing weirder is gonna be their crazy ass plan to save the infrastructure.", ">\n\nIt's the engineer Corp, they can build giant cat carriers.", ">\n\nI guess anything beats the 40 million they spend on viagra to keep the soldiers saluting.", ">\n\nThis is delightful", ">\n\ni was imagining mountain lions breaking in to dumpsters or something, not giant house cats gnawing on substations, not disappointed.", ">\n\nI don’t need a calendar now that our pocket rectangles handle all of that for us, but I really want this calendar.", ">\n\nIt is really convenient to just walk by my schedule versus having to pull it up, scroll, click and expand. I tend to forget about things if I don’t see it in front of me, but that’s just how my brain works. Plus if you’re on the phone trying to schedule something it’s nice to write it out too.", ">\n\nI'm sorry, we're already booked for giant spiders.", ">\n\nI personally kinda love this.", ">\n\nBest use of a miniscule amount of our tax dollars in the entire US $1.7T budget. US Army Corp wins the internet today!", ">\n\nHonestly, the entire army corps of engineers may be one of highest rates of return on public good vs funding", ">\n\nSeriously. They do a shit ton of quality and important public work on a relatively shoe-string budget for engineering. I have a lot of respect for the people that work at the USACOE.", ">\n\nSeptember, now that one is art", ">\n\nHaters will say it's Photoshop.", ">\n\nThey’ve never seen Catzilla.", ">\n\nHero of the Week! Hail yourself!", ">\n\nThere it is!", ">\n\n\nThe Army Corps Of Engineers Has Released a 2023 Calendar Of Giant Cats Attacking <\n\nr/brand new sentence \nAlso, giant cats attacking infrastructure is so 2020. In 2023 it just sounds silly.", ">\n\nSeptember ❤️", ">\n\nOmg. I love this. Especially the text blurbs on the pictures. Very funny and adorable!", ">\n\nSounds like they understand cats are required if you want social media traction", ">\n\nI have never wanted to buy a calendar more than I do now!", ">\n\nOn the one hand, I applaud the idea.\nOn the other hand, the photoshop skills look like they came from the army corps of engineers.", ">\n\nWould you actually want them to look like they were perfectly matched to each environment? I'm pretty sure the comedic effect is all that matters here.\nAnd besides, it was just one engineer that created this on their spare time, rather than an official ACE production.", ">\n\nI was mainly being a bit snarky because the internet. That, and what I said was objectively true.", ">\n\nCan confirm, the Corps of Engineers fuckkkkks", ">\n\nGoddammit I just bought my 2023 calendar too lol", ">\n\nThat’s cute though, not worrisome like a lot of other r/nottheonion posts.", ">\n\nAs ever, the Army Corps of Engineers are the one branch of the US state that can get the important shit done", ">\n\nFrom the comments ITT it's evident that most people are unaware of how important they are to the lives of the majority of productive people in this country (people who live near a coastline or a major body of water). It's not just dams and rivers, it's the actual physical coastline of america that they look after.", ">\n\nYup, it seems double edged- people think oh, they're the army corps and assumes they must be doing only military stuff. But equally if it was civilianised no doubt it'd be a target for cuts. An incredible org, regardless. And whether it's cats or weather or warming or the collapse of neglected infrastructure they're going to get more and more important so it's a damn good thing they exist because in 2023, nobody would invent them...", ">\n\nUSACE is an agency that is funded by the DOD but is vastly ran by civilians. There are very few enlisted or commissioned people in the army corps.", ">\n\nOK this is a thing and this is awesome", ">\n\nOops, I had \"Zombie Redneck Torture Family\" in the betting pool.", ">\n\nGrumble. Never gonna see a merman...", ">\n\nUSACE Portland District is one of the absolute best public sector social media presences out there. Seriously. Check it out.", ">\n\nCats in military pictures is an entire IG channel", ">\n\nGood boot", ">\n\nCommand team must be TDY", ">\n\nThat was even better than the title made me think it would be.", ">\n\nI support my tax dollars going to causes such as this.", ">\n\nFinally tax dollars doing something good", ">\n\nI’m kind of disappointed. From the title, I thought there would be photos of actual big cats attacking infrastructure, not photoshopped domestic cats. Anyone have a photo of a puma going after an electrical substation? Or a tiger gnawing on a water line?", ">\n\nNo. No one has that. Would be very interesting though to compile a calendar like that. Peace brother.", ">\n\nGreat, now I need a color printer.\nSeriously, thank you u/radioman8414!", ">\n\nThis is how I want my tax money spent. Downloaded and put up in my office!", ">\n\nThe regional social media guy who put this together is constantly hilarious", ">\n\nGreatest calendar of 2023.", ">\n\nI need one of these for my office! I've worked on some of these dams!", ">\n\nCan I ask you some dam questions?? I’m sure you know a lot of dam information. I’m sure all of us would love some dam stories. Thank you.", ">\n\nSure way to have a more interesting calendar than just infrastructure.", ">\n\nI would so adopt one if they existed.", ">\n\nI've heard army corps of engineers are very difficult to house train. May want to consider before adopting one.", ">\n\nTouché.", ">\n\nThat's amazing, thank you for posting it!", ">\n\nIs there anywhere to buy a nice physical copy of the calendar?", ">\n\nThose cats are mind-controlled by taxoplasmosis alien ameobas!", ">\n\nI was thinking this was gonna be mountain lions taking out maintenance huts or something like that. This is so much better", ">\n\nI’m the daughter of a former Portland, Oregon, US Army Corps Engineer, and I can confirm they are a strange crew. It makes me view the dams on the Columbia River fondly?", ">\n\nI love this so much.", ">\n\nDude. Awesome.", ">\n\nI love this! My astronomy teacher once did a talk on space cats. It was hysterical. Out of the blue he showed us pictures of space with cats added in. He felt we needed a fun class for laughs. I want this calendar.", ">\n\nThis would be really cool if they got a decent digital artist. But they didn't, they used photoshop about as well as I can.", ">\n\nI think that adds to the charm", ">\n\nDon't even need to see it, where can I buy it", ">\n\nFrom the link - \"Because the Army Corps is a Government Agency, the calendar is in public domain and totally free to download and print\"", ">\n\nThis is so funny, because it’s my Dad’s old workplace (from 1971 until he retired). My father, however, has zero sense of humor so he’d never work on something like this.", ">\n\nI met a guy from the Army Corps of Engineers when I worked for the EPA. Smartest guy I've ever met and the 2nd most hippe like person I've ever met. I'd like to think he had something to do with this idea.", ">\n\nFinally the massive military budget of the US is put to good use.", ">\n\nThis is awesome. I might have to buy one.", ">\n\nNo need. It's free, though you have to print it yourself if you want a physical copy", ">\n\nThis is so adorable! I approve wholeheartedly.", ">\n\nIt's about time.", ">\n\nSappers lead the way", ">\n\nI have so much love for this.", ">\n\nEhisssayons.", ">\n\nLove it.", ">\n\nUnintended benefits of relaxed Marijuana policies :)", ">\n\nUsace has not relaxed cannabis policies. No federal agency has", ">\n\nThey certainly have relaxed policy, even though federal law hasn't changed. It's legal in my state and the current administration has announced they won't be pursuing user level Marijuana charges at the federal level.\nWake up.", ">\n\nUSACE still falls under the same policies as the rest of the army. They're treated as DA civilians, and subject to periodic biochemical testing and the resultant consequences if they pee hot. The army has, and will not in the foreseeable future, relax any policy regarding marijuana.", ">\n\nAdorable idea; wish they had hired someone better at photoshop", ">\n\nIts a free gag calendar that was probably just put together by someone for fun in their spare time. Considering the state of infrastructure in the US I don't imagine the Corps of Engineers has a lot of extra spending money to throw around", ">\n\nIf they were smart, they would print it for us and sell it. I don't want a crappy calender that I printed on regular paper, I want the real thing and I would be glad to pay for it.", ">\n\nGenius!! This needs to be a trend. Reddit, make it so...", ">\n\nfuck yeah we finally gonna balance the budget", ">\n\nDecember's hilarious. I want this calender.", ">\n\nYou can totally tell that this is not real. The lighting on the cats is so obviously different than the environmental mistake. Pathetic effort infrastructure geeks.", ">\n\nSo they can blame cats for shoddy workmanship and lax maintenance.", ">\n\nDon't capitalize \"Of\" in titles", ">\n\nWish they'd focus on not taking eight years to permit a fucking project, those lazy excuses for engineers.", ">\n\nYou’re crazy dude. These peeps have built some amazing things. Extremely impressive.", ">\n\nThey used to.", ">\n\n😂", ">\n\nThis whole absurd thing is exactly my sense of humour. LOVE it.", ">\n\nOregon! I've seen the one at Detroit Dam. Sneaky bugger. Hangs out with Bigfoot.", ">\n\nI need this", ">\n\nThat's some adorable terrorism right there.", ">\n\nI remember seeing them, on quad bikes, with a lot of equipment, on Myrtle Beach beaches, I always wondered what they were doing...", ">\n\nI love this sequel to Beginning of the End!", ">\n\nIs there a way I can buy a physical version?", ">\n\nThey're Demo-cats!", ">\n\nAny recommendations of the best way to get this printed semi-professionally? I tried checking Costco photo centre but they make you use a template.", ">\n\nOf course it’s Portland.", ">\n\nKind of disappointing I can't actually buy a printed one. My daughter would love this.", ">\n\nA pretty good idea for a poster. Who doesn't like cats being cats?", ">\n\nI really wish I had become a part of the ACOE but my mother didn't want her only son in the military.", ">\n\nUsace has civilian positions you're employed by the army, but you don't go through basic", ">\n\nI hope they pay more than Nidec.", ">\n\nThanks for sharing! Downloaded and got my new Lock Screen wallpaper.", ">\n\nDecember is 🔥", ">\n\nObligatory Cat Dynamics", ">\n\nPoliticians will say this is the proof of the REAL reason of why our infrastructure is deteriorating, then vote in a measure to hire their friends and family to counter this threat.", ">\n\nI didnt know cats were domestic terrorists like Republicans. lol", ">\n\nThis is the only kind of apocalypse I could see myself getting excited about.", ">\n\nAugust a missed opportunity to have CAT Excavators.", ">\n\nYou have my attention.", ">\n\nSmart move", ">\n\nGod help us.", ">\n\nBest thing to come out of the Army post WWII.", ">\n\n🤔", ">\n\n\"Let's write a two paragraph article about something freely available on the internet and make absolutely no attempt to actually tell you where to find it\".", ">\n\nCatjira!", ">\n\nhilarious!", ">\n\nFinally", ">\n\nThis is the oniony-est story I’ve seen on here in a while", ">\n\nCant wait for the next spending bill to include cat proofing our infrastructure", ">\n\nHonestly… I’d buy it.", ">\n\nWish I would have heard of that in November or so. This seems unique, fun and a great idea for a calendar.", ">\n\nI heard about this from Last Podcast on the Left, glad to see it pop up on my feed with pictures!", ">\n\nI'm gonna need an NSN For that...", ">\n\nOf course it’s the Portland District", ">\n\nHonestly this is worth buying", ">\n\nIm not a cat person, but I would buy the calendar.", ">\n\nAny way to view the album without losing my mind on that website? God it's shit on mobile.", ">\n\nI especially love how June just looks like a well framed optical illusion photo.", ">\n\nThis is cute and all, but man, it seems a little poor in taste that August is a kitty-shaped military drone blowing up an Iraqi preschool", ">\n\nWhat did Oregon do to deserve this", ">\n\nGee I read that and instantly I thought they had done a study and released an estimated calendar of when an where giant cats would attack infrastructure in 2023. Phew.", ">\n\nOn that day, humanity received a grim reminder…", ">\n\nah yes\nPortland keeping it weird again" ]

[ "Imagine the work order. \nYour boss comes to you and says, \"Hey, you're in charge of the cats calendar.\"\n\"What calendar?\"\n\"The one with cats attacking infrastructure?\"\n\"What?\"", ">\n\nyou miss ONE day...", ">\n\nHail Vectron!", ">\n\nBy Vectron!", ">\n\nFor those yet to experience the holy might of Vectron's kindly claw", ">\n\nThank you. I had no idea.", ">\n\nYou are most welcome by Vectron", ">\n\nFor the love of all that is Vectron, your speech warms my Vectronic heart.", ">\n\nMay Vectron’s beard shed its benevolence upon us. 🙏🏻🙏🏻", ">\n\nAnd may all of his correspondence to us be sent Vectronically. So it is written, so shall it be done.", ">\n\nI live in Oregon and started to recognize a bunch of the dams, so I was like, “huh, that’s kinda cool.” Then I saw the text at the bottom of the first page. Portland District. Now a cat calendar makes perfect sense.", ">\n\nSame thing happened to me. I think I'm going to head to kinko's and have them print it out for me.", ">\n\nTell them you need to print some important official military documents before you show them what it is", ">\n\nDon’t forget to tell them you need it right meow!", ">\n\nWho will protect our infrastructure from this menace?", ">\n\nAn array of laser pointers.", ">\n\ncut to giant laser pointer satellite", ">\n\nomigod the jewish space lasers were real", ">\n\n*meowish space lasers", ">\n\nHey that's racist", ">\n\nI think it would be cheaper to buy a calendar than use the ink/toner required to print it.", ">\n\nThat's why you print it at work.", ">\n\nhaha true, oh wait I work from home...", ">\n\nIf you print from home for work you can write printer supplies off on your taxes :)", ">\n\nUh yes boss I needed a calendar, so… oh what? Use the company one? Ummm but the US army has a really nice one and I thought I’d be patriotic - what? Oh, yeah I know we’re in Canada, I just…", ">\n\nPortland is pretty much wannabe Vancouver, BC. I say it goes!", ">\n\nExactly what a Canadian would say...", ">\n\nGoodies, goodie goodie, yum yum.", ">\n\nI just scrolled until I found The Goodies reference but was wondering if I was going to find one at all.", ">\n\nIt's way down the list, isn't it? \n/knees hurt.", ">\n\nOw, my back! Get off my lawn!", ">\n\nOne engineer did it in his free time, and released it for use through the corps. \nThis was NOT government funded.", ">\n\nEven if it was government funded, I support this.", ">\n\nEven if it was government funded it would've been like maybe one day of pay at most? Not a ton for the amount of publicity they'll get that might make them even more money.", ">\n\nAssuming they already have the infrastructure pictures I would be surprised if it took more than 4 work hours. Also for chronically underfunded agencies that kind of PR is exactly how you get voters to convince the politicians to increase funds. I look forward to NASA figuring out how to photoshop giant cats playing with the planets like balls of yarn for their calendar", ">\n\n\nI look forward to NASA figuring out how to photoshop giant cats playing with the planets like balls of yarn for their calendar \n\nWell let me introduce you to the most bizarre social media messaging from an official U.S. government agency: The U.S. Consumer Product Safety Commission's Instagram feed. \nAnd before I catch any \"there's no way this is real\" replies, here's the Washington Post covering it: \n\nHow a federal bureaucrat uses astronaut babies and dogs riding pigeons to try to save your life", ">\n\nThis is rad!", ">\n\nCISA losing their shit rn", ">\n\nI would like one.", ">\n\nIt's a free PDF.", ">\n\nNo he would like one of the cats", ">\n\nyOu wOuLdN'T DoWnloAd a cAT", ">\n\nI can’t believe they included Sherlock getting knocked off a cliff. At least he didn’t jump this time.", ">\n\nI'm shocked that you're the only person I've seen comment on this so far! it's hilarious", ">\n\n\"Every year, dozens of cats attack important infrastructure for our country causing dozens of dollars of damage. Won't you help?\"", ">\n\nI heard this with Sarah McLoughlin's voice", ">\n\nArmy Cats", ">\n\nNow do it with pictures of our crumbling infrastructure.", ">\n\nThis seems like one of those things that is somehow going to age poorly given our Universe's current sense of irony. I don't know how exactly, but there's going to be some mass tragedy involving cats and a suspension bridge or something this year.", ">\n\nThe first image kind of reads like \"this infrastructure is super important so don't damage it\". The calendar almost seems like a shopping list for domestic terrorists or something lol.", ">\n\nI mean, pretty obvious that dams, substations, bridges and the like are good targets for chaos. Google maps gives you all this plus Police stations and everything, with photos and the address. Useless to worry about it", ">\n\nSeriously, anyone who unironicly think terrorists were waiting for a cat calendar to list a bunch of locations to bomb is paranoid about the wrong things.", ">\n\nCats would hunt and eat us if they were bigger than us", ">\n\nThey already do, they are called Tigers.", ">\n\nIf there were smaller tigers, we would keep them as pets, but they'd break all our stuff to prove they're still in charge.", ">\n\nThey already do, they are called Cats.", ">\n\nOH MY GOD!", ">\n\nMy tabby is a cute little tiger", ">\n\nI knew we had infrastructure challenges, but I didn't realize we were facing an infrastructure cat-astrophe!", ">\n\nTake my r/angryupvote", ">\n\nI love how shitty the photoshop is. Really ties it all together", ">\n\nYeah I like the idea--but the pictures chosen and color grading are all off. I'd like this idea better executed more professionally.", ">\n\nOh no I'm serious. The unprofessionalism is the best part. I would absolutely pay money for this", ">\n\nOnly only thing weirder is gonna be their crazy ass plan to save the infrastructure.", ">\n\nIt's the engineer Corp, they can build giant cat carriers.", ">\n\nI guess anything beats the 40 million they spend on viagra to keep the soldiers saluting.", ">\n\nThis is delightful", ">\n\ni was imagining mountain lions breaking in to dumpsters or something, not giant house cats gnawing on substations, not disappointed.", ">\n\nI don’t need a calendar now that our pocket rectangles handle all of that for us, but I really want this calendar.", ">\n\nIt is really convenient to just walk by my schedule versus having to pull it up, scroll, click and expand. I tend to forget about things if I don’t see it in front of me, but that’s just how my brain works. Plus if you’re on the phone trying to schedule something it’s nice to write it out too.", ">\n\nI'm sorry, we're already booked for giant spiders.", ">\n\nI personally kinda love this.", ">\n\nBest use of a miniscule amount of our tax dollars in the entire US $1.7T budget. US Army Corp wins the internet today!", ">\n\nHonestly, the entire army corps of engineers may be one of highest rates of return on public good vs funding", ">\n\nSeriously. They do a shit ton of quality and important public work on a relatively shoe-string budget for engineering. I have a lot of respect for the people that work at the USACOE.", ">\n\nSeptember, now that one is art", ">\n\nHaters will say it's Photoshop.", ">\n\nThey’ve never seen Catzilla.", ">\n\nHero of the Week! Hail yourself!", ">\n\nThere it is!", ">\n\n\nThe Army Corps Of Engineers Has Released a 2023 Calendar Of Giant Cats Attacking <\n\nr/brand new sentence \nAlso, giant cats attacking infrastructure is so 2020. In 2023 it just sounds silly.", ">\n\nSeptember ❤️", ">\n\nOmg. I love this. Especially the text blurbs on the pictures. Very funny and adorable!", ">\n\nSounds like they understand cats are required if you want social media traction", ">\n\nI have never wanted to buy a calendar more than I do now!", ">\n\nOn the one hand, I applaud the idea.\nOn the other hand, the photoshop skills look like they came from the army corps of engineers.", ">\n\nWould you actually want them to look like they were perfectly matched to each environment? I'm pretty sure the comedic effect is all that matters here.\nAnd besides, it was just one engineer that created this on their spare time, rather than an official ACE production.", ">\n\nI was mainly being a bit snarky because the internet. That, and what I said was objectively true.", ">\n\nCan confirm, the Corps of Engineers fuckkkkks", ">\n\nGoddammit I just bought my 2023 calendar too lol", ">\n\nThat’s cute though, not worrisome like a lot of other r/nottheonion posts.", ">\n\nAs ever, the Army Corps of Engineers are the one branch of the US state that can get the important shit done", ">\n\nFrom the comments ITT it's evident that most people are unaware of how important they are to the lives of the majority of productive people in this country (people who live near a coastline or a major body of water). It's not just dams and rivers, it's the actual physical coastline of america that they look after.", ">\n\nYup, it seems double edged- people think oh, they're the army corps and assumes they must be doing only military stuff. But equally if it was civilianised no doubt it'd be a target for cuts. An incredible org, regardless. And whether it's cats or weather or warming or the collapse of neglected infrastructure they're going to get more and more important so it's a damn good thing they exist because in 2023, nobody would invent them...", ">\n\nUSACE is an agency that is funded by the DOD but is vastly ran by civilians. There are very few enlisted or commissioned people in the army corps.", ">\n\nOK this is a thing and this is awesome", ">\n\nOops, I had \"Zombie Redneck Torture Family\" in the betting pool.", ">\n\nGrumble. Never gonna see a merman...", ">\n\nUSACE Portland District is one of the absolute best public sector social media presences out there. Seriously. Check it out.", ">\n\nCats in military pictures is an entire IG channel", ">\n\nGood boot", ">\n\nCommand team must be TDY", ">\n\nThat was even better than the title made me think it would be.", ">\n\nI support my tax dollars going to causes such as this.", ">\n\nFinally tax dollars doing something good", ">\n\nI’m kind of disappointed. From the title, I thought there would be photos of actual big cats attacking infrastructure, not photoshopped domestic cats. Anyone have a photo of a puma going after an electrical substation? Or a tiger gnawing on a water line?", ">\n\nNo. No one has that. Would be very interesting though to compile a calendar like that. Peace brother.", ">\n\nGreat, now I need a color printer.\nSeriously, thank you u/radioman8414!", ">\n\nThis is how I want my tax money spent. Downloaded and put up in my office!", ">\n\nThe regional social media guy who put this together is constantly hilarious", ">\n\nGreatest calendar of 2023.", ">\n\nI need one of these for my office! I've worked on some of these dams!", ">\n\nCan I ask you some dam questions?? I’m sure you know a lot of dam information. I’m sure all of us would love some dam stories. Thank you.", ">\n\nSure way to have a more interesting calendar than just infrastructure.", ">\n\nI would so adopt one if they existed.", ">\n\nI've heard army corps of engineers are very difficult to house train. May want to consider before adopting one.", ">\n\nTouché.", ">\n\nThat's amazing, thank you for posting it!", ">\n\nIs there anywhere to buy a nice physical copy of the calendar?", ">\n\nThose cats are mind-controlled by taxoplasmosis alien ameobas!", ">\n\nI was thinking this was gonna be mountain lions taking out maintenance huts or something like that. This is so much better", ">\n\nI’m the daughter of a former Portland, Oregon, US Army Corps Engineer, and I can confirm they are a strange crew. It makes me view the dams on the Columbia River fondly?", ">\n\nI love this so much.", ">\n\nDude. Awesome.", ">\n\nI love this! My astronomy teacher once did a talk on space cats. It was hysterical. Out of the blue he showed us pictures of space with cats added in. He felt we needed a fun class for laughs. I want this calendar.", ">\n\nThis would be really cool if they got a decent digital artist. But they didn't, they used photoshop about as well as I can.", ">\n\nI think that adds to the charm", ">\n\nDon't even need to see it, where can I buy it", ">\n\nFrom the link - \"Because the Army Corps is a Government Agency, the calendar is in public domain and totally free to download and print\"", ">\n\nThis is so funny, because it’s my Dad’s old workplace (from 1971 until he retired). My father, however, has zero sense of humor so he’d never work on something like this.", ">\n\nI met a guy from the Army Corps of Engineers when I worked for the EPA. Smartest guy I've ever met and the 2nd most hippe like person I've ever met. I'd like to think he had something to do with this idea.", ">\n\nFinally the massive military budget of the US is put to good use.", ">\n\nThis is awesome. I might have to buy one.", ">\n\nNo need. It's free, though you have to print it yourself if you want a physical copy", ">\n\nThis is so adorable! I approve wholeheartedly.", ">\n\nIt's about time.", ">\n\nSappers lead the way", ">\n\nI have so much love for this.", ">\n\nEhisssayons.", ">\n\nLove it.", ">\n\nUnintended benefits of relaxed Marijuana policies :)", ">\n\nUsace has not relaxed cannabis policies. No federal agency has", ">\n\nThey certainly have relaxed policy, even though federal law hasn't changed. It's legal in my state and the current administration has announced they won't be pursuing user level Marijuana charges at the federal level.\nWake up.", ">\n\nUSACE still falls under the same policies as the rest of the army. They're treated as DA civilians, and subject to periodic biochemical testing and the resultant consequences if they pee hot. The army has, and will not in the foreseeable future, relax any policy regarding marijuana.", ">\n\nAdorable idea; wish they had hired someone better at photoshop", ">\n\nIts a free gag calendar that was probably just put together by someone for fun in their spare time. Considering the state of infrastructure in the US I don't imagine the Corps of Engineers has a lot of extra spending money to throw around", ">\n\nIf they were smart, they would print it for us and sell it. I don't want a crappy calender that I printed on regular paper, I want the real thing and I would be glad to pay for it.", ">\n\nGenius!! This needs to be a trend. Reddit, make it so...", ">\n\nfuck yeah we finally gonna balance the budget", ">\n\nDecember's hilarious. I want this calender.", ">\n\nYou can totally tell that this is not real. The lighting on the cats is so obviously different than the environmental mistake. Pathetic effort infrastructure geeks.", ">\n\nSo they can blame cats for shoddy workmanship and lax maintenance.", ">\n\nDon't capitalize \"Of\" in titles", ">\n\nWish they'd focus on not taking eight years to permit a fucking project, those lazy excuses for engineers.", ">\n\nYou’re crazy dude. These peeps have built some amazing things. Extremely impressive.", ">\n\nThey used to.", ">\n\n😂", ">\n\nThis whole absurd thing is exactly my sense of humour. LOVE it.", ">\n\nOregon! I've seen the one at Detroit Dam. Sneaky bugger. Hangs out with Bigfoot.", ">\n\nI need this", ">\n\nThat's some adorable terrorism right there.", ">\n\nI remember seeing them, on quad bikes, with a lot of equipment, on Myrtle Beach beaches, I always wondered what they were doing...", ">\n\nI love this sequel to Beginning of the End!", ">\n\nIs there a way I can buy a physical version?", ">\n\nThey're Demo-cats!", ">\n\nAny recommendations of the best way to get this printed semi-professionally? I tried checking Costco photo centre but they make you use a template.", ">\n\nOf course it’s Portland.", ">\n\nKind of disappointing I can't actually buy a printed one. My daughter would love this.", ">\n\nA pretty good idea for a poster. Who doesn't like cats being cats?", ">\n\nI really wish I had become a part of the ACOE but my mother didn't want her only son in the military.", ">\n\nUsace has civilian positions you're employed by the army, but you don't go through basic", ">\n\nI hope they pay more than Nidec.", ">\n\nThanks for sharing! Downloaded and got my new Lock Screen wallpaper.", ">\n\nDecember is 🔥", ">\n\nObligatory Cat Dynamics", ">\n\nPoliticians will say this is the proof of the REAL reason of why our infrastructure is deteriorating, then vote in a measure to hire their friends and family to counter this threat.", ">\n\nI didnt know cats were domestic terrorists like Republicans. lol", ">\n\nThis is the only kind of apocalypse I could see myself getting excited about.", ">\n\nAugust a missed opportunity to have CAT Excavators.", ">\n\nYou have my attention.", ">\n\nSmart move", ">\n\nGod help us.", ">\n\nBest thing to come out of the Army post WWII.", ">\n\n🤔", ">\n\n\"Let's write a two paragraph article about something freely available on the internet and make absolutely no attempt to actually tell you where to find it\".", ">\n\nCatjira!", ">\n\nhilarious!", ">\n\nFinally", ">\n\nThis is the oniony-est story I’ve seen on here in a while", ">\n\nCant wait for the next spending bill to include cat proofing our infrastructure", ">\n\nHonestly… I’d buy it.", ">\n\nWish I would have heard of that in November or so. This seems unique, fun and a great idea for a calendar.", ">\n\nI heard about this from Last Podcast on the Left, glad to see it pop up on my feed with pictures!", ">\n\nI'm gonna need an NSN For that...", ">\n\nOf course it’s the Portland District", ">\n\nHonestly this is worth buying", ">\n\nIm not a cat person, but I would buy the calendar.", ">\n\nAny way to view the album without losing my mind on that website? God it's shit on mobile.", ">\n\nI especially love how June just looks like a well framed optical illusion photo.", ">\n\nThis is cute and all, but man, it seems a little poor in taste that August is a kitty-shaped military drone blowing up an Iraqi preschool", ">\n\nWhat did Oregon do to deserve this", ">\n\nGee I read that and instantly I thought they had done a study and released an estimated calendar of when an where giant cats would attack infrastructure in 2023. Phew.", ">\n\nOn that day, humanity received a grim reminder…", ">\n\nah yes\nPortland keeping it weird again", ">\n\nit’s cute, but who wrote the copy?" ]

[ "Imagine the work order. \nYour boss comes to you and says, \"Hey, you're in charge of the cats calendar.\"\n\"What calendar?\"\n\"The one with cats attacking infrastructure?\"\n\"What?\"", ">\n\nyou miss ONE day...", ">\n\nHail Vectron!", ">\n\nBy Vectron!", ">\n\nFor those yet to experience the holy might of Vectron's kindly claw", ">\n\nThank you. I had no idea.", ">\n\nYou are most welcome by Vectron", ">\n\nFor the love of all that is Vectron, your speech warms my Vectronic heart.", ">\n\nMay Vectron’s beard shed its benevolence upon us. 🙏🏻🙏🏻", ">\n\nAnd may all of his correspondence to us be sent Vectronically. So it is written, so shall it be done.", ">\n\nI live in Oregon and started to recognize a bunch of the dams, so I was like, “huh, that’s kinda cool.” Then I saw the text at the bottom of the first page. Portland District. Now a cat calendar makes perfect sense.", ">\n\nSame thing happened to me. I think I'm going to head to kinko's and have them print it out for me.", ">\n\nTell them you need to print some important official military documents before you show them what it is", ">\n\nDon’t forget to tell them you need it right meow!", ">\n\nWho will protect our infrastructure from this menace?", ">\n\nAn array of laser pointers.", ">\n\ncut to giant laser pointer satellite", ">\n\nomigod the jewish space lasers were real", ">\n\n*meowish space lasers", ">\n\nHey that's racist", ">\n\nI think it would be cheaper to buy a calendar than use the ink/toner required to print it.", ">\n\nThat's why you print it at work.", ">\n\nhaha true, oh wait I work from home...", ">\n\nIf you print from home for work you can write printer supplies off on your taxes :)", ">\n\nUh yes boss I needed a calendar, so… oh what? Use the company one? Ummm but the US army has a really nice one and I thought I’d be patriotic - what? Oh, yeah I know we’re in Canada, I just…", ">\n\nPortland is pretty much wannabe Vancouver, BC. I say it goes!", ">\n\nExactly what a Canadian would say...", ">\n\nGoodies, goodie goodie, yum yum.", ">\n\nI just scrolled until I found The Goodies reference but was wondering if I was going to find one at all.", ">\n\nIt's way down the list, isn't it? \n/knees hurt.", ">\n\nOw, my back! Get off my lawn!", ">\n\nOne engineer did it in his free time, and released it for use through the corps. \nThis was NOT government funded.", ">\n\nEven if it was government funded, I support this.", ">\n\nEven if it was government funded it would've been like maybe one day of pay at most? Not a ton for the amount of publicity they'll get that might make them even more money.", ">\n\nAssuming they already have the infrastructure pictures I would be surprised if it took more than 4 work hours. Also for chronically underfunded agencies that kind of PR is exactly how you get voters to convince the politicians to increase funds. I look forward to NASA figuring out how to photoshop giant cats playing with the planets like balls of yarn for their calendar", ">\n\n\nI look forward to NASA figuring out how to photoshop giant cats playing with the planets like balls of yarn for their calendar \n\nWell let me introduce you to the most bizarre social media messaging from an official U.S. government agency: The U.S. Consumer Product Safety Commission's Instagram feed. \nAnd before I catch any \"there's no way this is real\" replies, here's the Washington Post covering it: \n\nHow a federal bureaucrat uses astronaut babies and dogs riding pigeons to try to save your life", ">\n\nThis is rad!", ">\n\nCISA losing their shit rn", ">\n\nI would like one.", ">\n\nIt's a free PDF.", ">\n\nNo he would like one of the cats", ">\n\nyOu wOuLdN'T DoWnloAd a cAT", ">\n\nI can’t believe they included Sherlock getting knocked off a cliff. At least he didn’t jump this time.", ">\n\nI'm shocked that you're the only person I've seen comment on this so far! it's hilarious", ">\n\n\"Every year, dozens of cats attack important infrastructure for our country causing dozens of dollars of damage. Won't you help?\"", ">\n\nI heard this with Sarah McLoughlin's voice", ">\n\nArmy Cats", ">\n\nNow do it with pictures of our crumbling infrastructure.", ">\n\nThis seems like one of those things that is somehow going to age poorly given our Universe's current sense of irony. I don't know how exactly, but there's going to be some mass tragedy involving cats and a suspension bridge or something this year.", ">\n\nThe first image kind of reads like \"this infrastructure is super important so don't damage it\". The calendar almost seems like a shopping list for domestic terrorists or something lol.", ">\n\nI mean, pretty obvious that dams, substations, bridges and the like are good targets for chaos. Google maps gives you all this plus Police stations and everything, with photos and the address. Useless to worry about it", ">\n\nSeriously, anyone who unironicly think terrorists were waiting for a cat calendar to list a bunch of locations to bomb is paranoid about the wrong things.", ">\n\nCats would hunt and eat us if they were bigger than us", ">\n\nThey already do, they are called Tigers.", ">\n\nIf there were smaller tigers, we would keep them as pets, but they'd break all our stuff to prove they're still in charge.", ">\n\nThey already do, they are called Cats.", ">\n\nOH MY GOD!", ">\n\nMy tabby is a cute little tiger", ">\n\nI knew we had infrastructure challenges, but I didn't realize we were facing an infrastructure cat-astrophe!", ">\n\nTake my r/angryupvote", ">\n\nI love how shitty the photoshop is. Really ties it all together", ">\n\nYeah I like the idea--but the pictures chosen and color grading are all off. I'd like this idea better executed more professionally.", ">\n\nOh no I'm serious. The unprofessionalism is the best part. I would absolutely pay money for this", ">\n\nOnly only thing weirder is gonna be their crazy ass plan to save the infrastructure.", ">\n\nIt's the engineer Corp, they can build giant cat carriers.", ">\n\nI guess anything beats the 40 million they spend on viagra to keep the soldiers saluting.", ">\n\nThis is delightful", ">\n\ni was imagining mountain lions breaking in to dumpsters or something, not giant house cats gnawing on substations, not disappointed.", ">\n\nI don’t need a calendar now that our pocket rectangles handle all of that for us, but I really want this calendar.", ">\n\nIt is really convenient to just walk by my schedule versus having to pull it up, scroll, click and expand. I tend to forget about things if I don’t see it in front of me, but that’s just how my brain works. Plus if you’re on the phone trying to schedule something it’s nice to write it out too.", ">\n\nI'm sorry, we're already booked for giant spiders.", ">\n\nI personally kinda love this.", ">\n\nBest use of a miniscule amount of our tax dollars in the entire US $1.7T budget. US Army Corp wins the internet today!", ">\n\nHonestly, the entire army corps of engineers may be one of highest rates of return on public good vs funding", ">\n\nSeriously. They do a shit ton of quality and important public work on a relatively shoe-string budget for engineering. I have a lot of respect for the people that work at the USACOE.", ">\n\nSeptember, now that one is art", ">\n\nHaters will say it's Photoshop.", ">\n\nThey’ve never seen Catzilla.", ">\n\nHero of the Week! Hail yourself!", ">\n\nThere it is!", ">\n\n\nThe Army Corps Of Engineers Has Released a 2023 Calendar Of Giant Cats Attacking <\n\nr/brand new sentence \nAlso, giant cats attacking infrastructure is so 2020. In 2023 it just sounds silly.", ">\n\nSeptember ❤️", ">\n\nOmg. I love this. Especially the text blurbs on the pictures. Very funny and adorable!", ">\n\nSounds like they understand cats are required if you want social media traction", ">\n\nI have never wanted to buy a calendar more than I do now!", ">\n\nOn the one hand, I applaud the idea.\nOn the other hand, the photoshop skills look like they came from the army corps of engineers.", ">\n\nWould you actually want them to look like they were perfectly matched to each environment? I'm pretty sure the comedic effect is all that matters here.\nAnd besides, it was just one engineer that created this on their spare time, rather than an official ACE production.", ">\n\nI was mainly being a bit snarky because the internet. That, and what I said was objectively true.", ">\n\nCan confirm, the Corps of Engineers fuckkkkks", ">\n\nGoddammit I just bought my 2023 calendar too lol", ">\n\nThat’s cute though, not worrisome like a lot of other r/nottheonion posts.", ">\n\nAs ever, the Army Corps of Engineers are the one branch of the US state that can get the important shit done", ">\n\nFrom the comments ITT it's evident that most people are unaware of how important they are to the lives of the majority of productive people in this country (people who live near a coastline or a major body of water). It's not just dams and rivers, it's the actual physical coastline of america that they look after.", ">\n\nYup, it seems double edged- people think oh, they're the army corps and assumes they must be doing only military stuff. But equally if it was civilianised no doubt it'd be a target for cuts. An incredible org, regardless. And whether it's cats or weather or warming or the collapse of neglected infrastructure they're going to get more and more important so it's a damn good thing they exist because in 2023, nobody would invent them...", ">\n\nUSACE is an agency that is funded by the DOD but is vastly ran by civilians. There are very few enlisted or commissioned people in the army corps.", ">\n\nOK this is a thing and this is awesome", ">\n\nOops, I had \"Zombie Redneck Torture Family\" in the betting pool.", ">\n\nGrumble. Never gonna see a merman...", ">\n\nUSACE Portland District is one of the absolute best public sector social media presences out there. Seriously. Check it out.", ">\n\nCats in military pictures is an entire IG channel", ">\n\nGood boot", ">\n\nCommand team must be TDY", ">\n\nThat was even better than the title made me think it would be.", ">\n\nI support my tax dollars going to causes such as this.", ">\n\nFinally tax dollars doing something good", ">\n\nI’m kind of disappointed. From the title, I thought there would be photos of actual big cats attacking infrastructure, not photoshopped domestic cats. Anyone have a photo of a puma going after an electrical substation? Or a tiger gnawing on a water line?", ">\n\nNo. No one has that. Would be very interesting though to compile a calendar like that. Peace brother.", ">\n\nGreat, now I need a color printer.\nSeriously, thank you u/radioman8414!", ">\n\nThis is how I want my tax money spent. Downloaded and put up in my office!", ">\n\nThe regional social media guy who put this together is constantly hilarious", ">\n\nGreatest calendar of 2023.", ">\n\nI need one of these for my office! I've worked on some of these dams!", ">\n\nCan I ask you some dam questions?? I’m sure you know a lot of dam information. I’m sure all of us would love some dam stories. Thank you.", ">\n\nSure way to have a more interesting calendar than just infrastructure.", ">\n\nI would so adopt one if they existed.", ">\n\nI've heard army corps of engineers are very difficult to house train. May want to consider before adopting one.", ">\n\nTouché.", ">\n\nThat's amazing, thank you for posting it!", ">\n\nIs there anywhere to buy a nice physical copy of the calendar?", ">\n\nThose cats are mind-controlled by taxoplasmosis alien ameobas!", ">\n\nI was thinking this was gonna be mountain lions taking out maintenance huts or something like that. This is so much better", ">\n\nI’m the daughter of a former Portland, Oregon, US Army Corps Engineer, and I can confirm they are a strange crew. It makes me view the dams on the Columbia River fondly?", ">\n\nI love this so much.", ">\n\nDude. Awesome.", ">\n\nI love this! My astronomy teacher once did a talk on space cats. It was hysterical. Out of the blue he showed us pictures of space with cats added in. He felt we needed a fun class for laughs. I want this calendar.", ">\n\nThis would be really cool if they got a decent digital artist. But they didn't, they used photoshop about as well as I can.", ">\n\nI think that adds to the charm", ">\n\nDon't even need to see it, where can I buy it", ">\n\nFrom the link - \"Because the Army Corps is a Government Agency, the calendar is in public domain and totally free to download and print\"", ">\n\nThis is so funny, because it’s my Dad’s old workplace (from 1971 until he retired). My father, however, has zero sense of humor so he’d never work on something like this.", ">\n\nI met a guy from the Army Corps of Engineers when I worked for the EPA. Smartest guy I've ever met and the 2nd most hippe like person I've ever met. I'd like to think he had something to do with this idea.", ">\n\nFinally the massive military budget of the US is put to good use.", ">\n\nThis is awesome. I might have to buy one.", ">\n\nNo need. It's free, though you have to print it yourself if you want a physical copy", ">\n\nThis is so adorable! I approve wholeheartedly.", ">\n\nIt's about time.", ">\n\nSappers lead the way", ">\n\nI have so much love for this.", ">\n\nEhisssayons.", ">\n\nLove it.", ">\n\nUnintended benefits of relaxed Marijuana policies :)", ">\n\nUsace has not relaxed cannabis policies. No federal agency has", ">\n\nThey certainly have relaxed policy, even though federal law hasn't changed. It's legal in my state and the current administration has announced they won't be pursuing user level Marijuana charges at the federal level.\nWake up.", ">\n\nUSACE still falls under the same policies as the rest of the army. They're treated as DA civilians, and subject to periodic biochemical testing and the resultant consequences if they pee hot. The army has, and will not in the foreseeable future, relax any policy regarding marijuana.", ">\n\nAdorable idea; wish they had hired someone better at photoshop", ">\n\nIts a free gag calendar that was probably just put together by someone for fun in their spare time. Considering the state of infrastructure in the US I don't imagine the Corps of Engineers has a lot of extra spending money to throw around", ">\n\nIf they were smart, they would print it for us and sell it. I don't want a crappy calender that I printed on regular paper, I want the real thing and I would be glad to pay for it.", ">\n\nGenius!! This needs to be a trend. Reddit, make it so...", ">\n\nfuck yeah we finally gonna balance the budget", ">\n\nDecember's hilarious. I want this calender.", ">\n\nYou can totally tell that this is not real. The lighting on the cats is so obviously different than the environmental mistake. Pathetic effort infrastructure geeks.", ">\n\nSo they can blame cats for shoddy workmanship and lax maintenance.", ">\n\nDon't capitalize \"Of\" in titles", ">\n\nWish they'd focus on not taking eight years to permit a fucking project, those lazy excuses for engineers.", ">\n\nYou’re crazy dude. These peeps have built some amazing things. Extremely impressive.", ">\n\nThey used to.", ">\n\n😂", ">\n\nThis whole absurd thing is exactly my sense of humour. LOVE it.", ">\n\nOregon! I've seen the one at Detroit Dam. Sneaky bugger. Hangs out with Bigfoot.", ">\n\nI need this", ">\n\nThat's some adorable terrorism right there.", ">\n\nI remember seeing them, on quad bikes, with a lot of equipment, on Myrtle Beach beaches, I always wondered what they were doing...", ">\n\nI love this sequel to Beginning of the End!", ">\n\nIs there a way I can buy a physical version?", ">\n\nThey're Demo-cats!", ">\n\nAny recommendations of the best way to get this printed semi-professionally? I tried checking Costco photo centre but they make you use a template.", ">\n\nOf course it’s Portland.", ">\n\nKind of disappointing I can't actually buy a printed one. My daughter would love this.", ">\n\nA pretty good idea for a poster. Who doesn't like cats being cats?", ">\n\nI really wish I had become a part of the ACOE but my mother didn't want her only son in the military.", ">\n\nUsace has civilian positions you're employed by the army, but you don't go through basic", ">\n\nI hope they pay more than Nidec.", ">\n\nThanks for sharing! Downloaded and got my new Lock Screen wallpaper.", ">\n\nDecember is 🔥", ">\n\nObligatory Cat Dynamics", ">\n\nPoliticians will say this is the proof of the REAL reason of why our infrastructure is deteriorating, then vote in a measure to hire their friends and family to counter this threat.", ">\n\nI didnt know cats were domestic terrorists like Republicans. lol", ">\n\nThis is the only kind of apocalypse I could see myself getting excited about.", ">\n\nAugust a missed opportunity to have CAT Excavators.", ">\n\nYou have my attention.", ">\n\nSmart move", ">\n\nGod help us.", ">\n\nBest thing to come out of the Army post WWII.", ">\n\n🤔", ">\n\n\"Let's write a two paragraph article about something freely available on the internet and make absolutely no attempt to actually tell you where to find it\".", ">\n\nCatjira!", ">\n\nhilarious!", ">\n\nFinally", ">\n\nThis is the oniony-est story I’ve seen on here in a while", ">\n\nCant wait for the next spending bill to include cat proofing our infrastructure", ">\n\nHonestly… I’d buy it.", ">\n\nWish I would have heard of that in November or so. This seems unique, fun and a great idea for a calendar.", ">\n\nI heard about this from Last Podcast on the Left, glad to see it pop up on my feed with pictures!", ">\n\nI'm gonna need an NSN For that...", ">\n\nOf course it’s the Portland District", ">\n\nHonestly this is worth buying", ">\n\nIm not a cat person, but I would buy the calendar.", ">\n\nAny way to view the album without losing my mind on that website? God it's shit on mobile.", ">\n\nI especially love how June just looks like a well framed optical illusion photo.", ">\n\nThis is cute and all, but man, it seems a little poor in taste that August is a kitty-shaped military drone blowing up an Iraqi preschool", ">\n\nWhat did Oregon do to deserve this", ">\n\nGee I read that and instantly I thought they had done a study and released an estimated calendar of when an where giant cats would attack infrastructure in 2023. Phew.", ">\n\nOn that day, humanity received a grim reminder…", ">\n\nah yes\nPortland keeping it weird again", ">\n\nit’s cute, but who wrote the copy?", ">\n\nAmazing" ]

[ "Imagine the work order. \nYour boss comes to you and says, \"Hey, you're in charge of the cats calendar.\"\n\"What calendar?\"\n\"The one with cats attacking infrastructure?\"\n\"What?\"", ">\n\nyou miss ONE day...", ">\n\nHail Vectron!", ">\n\nBy Vectron!", ">\n\nFor those yet to experience the holy might of Vectron's kindly claw", ">\n\nThank you. I had no idea.", ">\n\nYou are most welcome by Vectron", ">\n\nFor the love of all that is Vectron, your speech warms my Vectronic heart.", ">\n\nMay Vectron’s beard shed its benevolence upon us. 🙏🏻🙏🏻", ">\n\nAnd may all of his correspondence to us be sent Vectronically. So it is written, so shall it be done.", ">\n\nI live in Oregon and started to recognize a bunch of the dams, so I was like, “huh, that’s kinda cool.” Then I saw the text at the bottom of the first page. Portland District. Now a cat calendar makes perfect sense.", ">\n\nSame thing happened to me. I think I'm going to head to kinko's and have them print it out for me.", ">\n\nTell them you need to print some important official military documents before you show them what it is", ">\n\nDon’t forget to tell them you need it right meow!", ">\n\nWho will protect our infrastructure from this menace?", ">\n\nAn array of laser pointers.", ">\n\ncut to giant laser pointer satellite", ">\n\nomigod the jewish space lasers were real", ">\n\n*meowish space lasers", ">\n\nHey that's racist", ">\n\nI think it would be cheaper to buy a calendar than use the ink/toner required to print it.", ">\n\nThat's why you print it at work.", ">\n\nhaha true, oh wait I work from home...", ">\n\nIf you print from home for work you can write printer supplies off on your taxes :)", ">\n\nUh yes boss I needed a calendar, so… oh what? Use the company one? Ummm but the US army has a really nice one and I thought I’d be patriotic - what? Oh, yeah I know we’re in Canada, I just…", ">\n\nPortland is pretty much wannabe Vancouver, BC. I say it goes!", ">\n\nExactly what a Canadian would say...", ">\n\nGoodies, goodie goodie, yum yum.", ">\n\nI just scrolled until I found The Goodies reference but was wondering if I was going to find one at all.", ">\n\nIt's way down the list, isn't it? \n/knees hurt.", ">\n\nOw, my back! Get off my lawn!", ">\n\nOne engineer did it in his free time, and released it for use through the corps. \nThis was NOT government funded.", ">\n\nEven if it was government funded, I support this.", ">\n\nEven if it was government funded it would've been like maybe one day of pay at most? Not a ton for the amount of publicity they'll get that might make them even more money.", ">\n\nAssuming they already have the infrastructure pictures I would be surprised if it took more than 4 work hours. Also for chronically underfunded agencies that kind of PR is exactly how you get voters to convince the politicians to increase funds. I look forward to NASA figuring out how to photoshop giant cats playing with the planets like balls of yarn for their calendar", ">\n\n\nI look forward to NASA figuring out how to photoshop giant cats playing with the planets like balls of yarn for their calendar \n\nWell let me introduce you to the most bizarre social media messaging from an official U.S. government agency: The U.S. Consumer Product Safety Commission's Instagram feed. \nAnd before I catch any \"there's no way this is real\" replies, here's the Washington Post covering it: \n\nHow a federal bureaucrat uses astronaut babies and dogs riding pigeons to try to save your life", ">\n\nThis is rad!", ">\n\nCISA losing their shit rn", ">\n\nI would like one.", ">\n\nIt's a free PDF.", ">\n\nNo he would like one of the cats", ">\n\nyOu wOuLdN'T DoWnloAd a cAT", ">\n\nI can’t believe they included Sherlock getting knocked off a cliff. At least he didn’t jump this time.", ">\n\nI'm shocked that you're the only person I've seen comment on this so far! it's hilarious", ">\n\n\"Every year, dozens of cats attack important infrastructure for our country causing dozens of dollars of damage. Won't you help?\"", ">\n\nI heard this with Sarah McLoughlin's voice", ">\n\nArmy Cats", ">\n\nNow do it with pictures of our crumbling infrastructure.", ">\n\nThis seems like one of those things that is somehow going to age poorly given our Universe's current sense of irony. I don't know how exactly, but there's going to be some mass tragedy involving cats and a suspension bridge or something this year.", ">\n\nThe first image kind of reads like \"this infrastructure is super important so don't damage it\". The calendar almost seems like a shopping list for domestic terrorists or something lol.", ">\n\nI mean, pretty obvious that dams, substations, bridges and the like are good targets for chaos. Google maps gives you all this plus Police stations and everything, with photos and the address. Useless to worry about it", ">\n\nSeriously, anyone who unironicly think terrorists were waiting for a cat calendar to list a bunch of locations to bomb is paranoid about the wrong things.", ">\n\nCats would hunt and eat us if they were bigger than us", ">\n\nThey already do, they are called Tigers.", ">\n\nIf there were smaller tigers, we would keep them as pets, but they'd break all our stuff to prove they're still in charge.", ">\n\nThey already do, they are called Cats.", ">\n\nOH MY GOD!", ">\n\nMy tabby is a cute little tiger", ">\n\nI knew we had infrastructure challenges, but I didn't realize we were facing an infrastructure cat-astrophe!", ">\n\nTake my r/angryupvote", ">\n\nI love how shitty the photoshop is. Really ties it all together", ">\n\nYeah I like the idea--but the pictures chosen and color grading are all off. I'd like this idea better executed more professionally.", ">\n\nOh no I'm serious. The unprofessionalism is the best part. I would absolutely pay money for this", ">\n\nOnly only thing weirder is gonna be their crazy ass plan to save the infrastructure.", ">\n\nIt's the engineer Corp, they can build giant cat carriers.", ">\n\nI guess anything beats the 40 million they spend on viagra to keep the soldiers saluting.", ">\n\nThis is delightful", ">\n\ni was imagining mountain lions breaking in to dumpsters or something, not giant house cats gnawing on substations, not disappointed.", ">\n\nI don’t need a calendar now that our pocket rectangles handle all of that for us, but I really want this calendar.", ">\n\nIt is really convenient to just walk by my schedule versus having to pull it up, scroll, click and expand. I tend to forget about things if I don’t see it in front of me, but that’s just how my brain works. Plus if you’re on the phone trying to schedule something it’s nice to write it out too.", ">\n\nI'm sorry, we're already booked for giant spiders.", ">\n\nI personally kinda love this.", ">\n\nBest use of a miniscule amount of our tax dollars in the entire US $1.7T budget. US Army Corp wins the internet today!", ">\n\nHonestly, the entire army corps of engineers may be one of highest rates of return on public good vs funding", ">\n\nSeriously. They do a shit ton of quality and important public work on a relatively shoe-string budget for engineering. I have a lot of respect for the people that work at the USACOE.", ">\n\nSeptember, now that one is art", ">\n\nHaters will say it's Photoshop.", ">\n\nThey’ve never seen Catzilla.", ">\n\nHero of the Week! Hail yourself!", ">\n\nThere it is!", ">\n\n\nThe Army Corps Of Engineers Has Released a 2023 Calendar Of Giant Cats Attacking <\n\nr/brand new sentence \nAlso, giant cats attacking infrastructure is so 2020. In 2023 it just sounds silly.", ">\n\nSeptember ❤️", ">\n\nOmg. I love this. Especially the text blurbs on the pictures. Very funny and adorable!", ">\n\nSounds like they understand cats are required if you want social media traction", ">\n\nI have never wanted to buy a calendar more than I do now!", ">\n\nOn the one hand, I applaud the idea.\nOn the other hand, the photoshop skills look like they came from the army corps of engineers.", ">\n\nWould you actually want them to look like they were perfectly matched to each environment? I'm pretty sure the comedic effect is all that matters here.\nAnd besides, it was just one engineer that created this on their spare time, rather than an official ACE production.", ">\n\nI was mainly being a bit snarky because the internet. That, and what I said was objectively true.", ">\n\nCan confirm, the Corps of Engineers fuckkkkks", ">\n\nGoddammit I just bought my 2023 calendar too lol", ">\n\nThat’s cute though, not worrisome like a lot of other r/nottheonion posts.", ">\n\nAs ever, the Army Corps of Engineers are the one branch of the US state that can get the important shit done", ">\n\nFrom the comments ITT it's evident that most people are unaware of how important they are to the lives of the majority of productive people in this country (people who live near a coastline or a major body of water). It's not just dams and rivers, it's the actual physical coastline of america that they look after.", ">\n\nYup, it seems double edged- people think oh, they're the army corps and assumes they must be doing only military stuff. But equally if it was civilianised no doubt it'd be a target for cuts. An incredible org, regardless. And whether it's cats or weather or warming or the collapse of neglected infrastructure they're going to get more and more important so it's a damn good thing they exist because in 2023, nobody would invent them...", ">\n\nUSACE is an agency that is funded by the DOD but is vastly ran by civilians. There are very few enlisted or commissioned people in the army corps.", ">\n\nOK this is a thing and this is awesome", ">\n\nOops, I had \"Zombie Redneck Torture Family\" in the betting pool.", ">\n\nGrumble. Never gonna see a merman...", ">\n\nUSACE Portland District is one of the absolute best public sector social media presences out there. Seriously. Check it out.", ">\n\nCats in military pictures is an entire IG channel", ">\n\nGood boot", ">\n\nCommand team must be TDY", ">\n\nThat was even better than the title made me think it would be.", ">\n\nI support my tax dollars going to causes such as this.", ">\n\nFinally tax dollars doing something good", ">\n\nI’m kind of disappointed. From the title, I thought there would be photos of actual big cats attacking infrastructure, not photoshopped domestic cats. Anyone have a photo of a puma going after an electrical substation? Or a tiger gnawing on a water line?", ">\n\nNo. No one has that. Would be very interesting though to compile a calendar like that. Peace brother.", ">\n\nGreat, now I need a color printer.\nSeriously, thank you u/radioman8414!", ">\n\nThis is how I want my tax money spent. Downloaded and put up in my office!", ">\n\nThe regional social media guy who put this together is constantly hilarious", ">\n\nGreatest calendar of 2023.", ">\n\nI need one of these for my office! I've worked on some of these dams!", ">\n\nCan I ask you some dam questions?? I’m sure you know a lot of dam information. I’m sure all of us would love some dam stories. Thank you.", ">\n\nSure way to have a more interesting calendar than just infrastructure.", ">\n\nI would so adopt one if they existed.", ">\n\nI've heard army corps of engineers are very difficult to house train. May want to consider before adopting one.", ">\n\nTouché.", ">\n\nThat's amazing, thank you for posting it!", ">\n\nIs there anywhere to buy a nice physical copy of the calendar?", ">\n\nThose cats are mind-controlled by taxoplasmosis alien ameobas!", ">\n\nI was thinking this was gonna be mountain lions taking out maintenance huts or something like that. This is so much better", ">\n\nI’m the daughter of a former Portland, Oregon, US Army Corps Engineer, and I can confirm they are a strange crew. It makes me view the dams on the Columbia River fondly?", ">\n\nI love this so much.", ">\n\nDude. Awesome.", ">\n\nI love this! My astronomy teacher once did a talk on space cats. It was hysterical. Out of the blue he showed us pictures of space with cats added in. He felt we needed a fun class for laughs. I want this calendar.", ">\n\nThis would be really cool if they got a decent digital artist. But they didn't, they used photoshop about as well as I can.", ">\n\nI think that adds to the charm", ">\n\nDon't even need to see it, where can I buy it", ">\n\nFrom the link - \"Because the Army Corps is a Government Agency, the calendar is in public domain and totally free to download and print\"", ">\n\nThis is so funny, because it’s my Dad’s old workplace (from 1971 until he retired). My father, however, has zero sense of humor so he’d never work on something like this.", ">\n\nI met a guy from the Army Corps of Engineers when I worked for the EPA. Smartest guy I've ever met and the 2nd most hippe like person I've ever met. I'd like to think he had something to do with this idea.", ">\n\nFinally the massive military budget of the US is put to good use.", ">\n\nThis is awesome. I might have to buy one.", ">\n\nNo need. It's free, though you have to print it yourself if you want a physical copy", ">\n\nThis is so adorable! I approve wholeheartedly.", ">\n\nIt's about time.", ">\n\nSappers lead the way", ">\n\nI have so much love for this.", ">\n\nEhisssayons.", ">\n\nLove it.", ">\n\nUnintended benefits of relaxed Marijuana policies :)", ">\n\nUsace has not relaxed cannabis policies. No federal agency has", ">\n\nThey certainly have relaxed policy, even though federal law hasn't changed. It's legal in my state and the current administration has announced they won't be pursuing user level Marijuana charges at the federal level.\nWake up.", ">\n\nUSACE still falls under the same policies as the rest of the army. They're treated as DA civilians, and subject to periodic biochemical testing and the resultant consequences if they pee hot. The army has, and will not in the foreseeable future, relax any policy regarding marijuana.", ">\n\nAdorable idea; wish they had hired someone better at photoshop", ">\n\nIts a free gag calendar that was probably just put together by someone for fun in their spare time. Considering the state of infrastructure in the US I don't imagine the Corps of Engineers has a lot of extra spending money to throw around", ">\n\nIf they were smart, they would print it for us and sell it. I don't want a crappy calender that I printed on regular paper, I want the real thing and I would be glad to pay for it.", ">\n\nGenius!! This needs to be a trend. Reddit, make it so...", ">\n\nfuck yeah we finally gonna balance the budget", ">\n\nDecember's hilarious. I want this calender.", ">\n\nYou can totally tell that this is not real. The lighting on the cats is so obviously different than the environmental mistake. Pathetic effort infrastructure geeks.", ">\n\nSo they can blame cats for shoddy workmanship and lax maintenance.", ">\n\nDon't capitalize \"Of\" in titles", ">\n\nWish they'd focus on not taking eight years to permit a fucking project, those lazy excuses for engineers.", ">\n\nYou’re crazy dude. These peeps have built some amazing things. Extremely impressive.", ">\n\nThey used to.", ">\n\n😂", ">\n\nThis whole absurd thing is exactly my sense of humour. LOVE it.", ">\n\nOregon! I've seen the one at Detroit Dam. Sneaky bugger. Hangs out with Bigfoot.", ">\n\nI need this", ">\n\nThat's some adorable terrorism right there.", ">\n\nI remember seeing them, on quad bikes, with a lot of equipment, on Myrtle Beach beaches, I always wondered what they were doing...", ">\n\nI love this sequel to Beginning of the End!", ">\n\nIs there a way I can buy a physical version?", ">\n\nThey're Demo-cats!", ">\n\nAny recommendations of the best way to get this printed semi-professionally? I tried checking Costco photo centre but they make you use a template.", ">\n\nOf course it’s Portland.", ">\n\nKind of disappointing I can't actually buy a printed one. My daughter would love this.", ">\n\nA pretty good idea for a poster. Who doesn't like cats being cats?", ">\n\nI really wish I had become a part of the ACOE but my mother didn't want her only son in the military.", ">\n\nUsace has civilian positions you're employed by the army, but you don't go through basic", ">\n\nI hope they pay more than Nidec.", ">\n\nThanks for sharing! Downloaded and got my new Lock Screen wallpaper.", ">\n\nDecember is 🔥", ">\n\nObligatory Cat Dynamics", ">\n\nPoliticians will say this is the proof of the REAL reason of why our infrastructure is deteriorating, then vote in a measure to hire their friends and family to counter this threat.", ">\n\nI didnt know cats were domestic terrorists like Republicans. lol", ">\n\nThis is the only kind of apocalypse I could see myself getting excited about.", ">\n\nAugust a missed opportunity to have CAT Excavators.", ">\n\nYou have my attention.", ">\n\nSmart move", ">\n\nGod help us.", ">\n\nBest thing to come out of the Army post WWII.", ">\n\n🤔", ">\n\n\"Let's write a two paragraph article about something freely available on the internet and make absolutely no attempt to actually tell you where to find it\".", ">\n\nCatjira!", ">\n\nhilarious!", ">\n\nFinally", ">\n\nThis is the oniony-est story I’ve seen on here in a while", ">\n\nCant wait for the next spending bill to include cat proofing our infrastructure", ">\n\nHonestly… I’d buy it.", ">\n\nWish I would have heard of that in November or so. This seems unique, fun and a great idea for a calendar.", ">\n\nI heard about this from Last Podcast on the Left, glad to see it pop up on my feed with pictures!", ">\n\nI'm gonna need an NSN For that...", ">\n\nOf course it’s the Portland District", ">\n\nHonestly this is worth buying", ">\n\nIm not a cat person, but I would buy the calendar.", ">\n\nAny way to view the album without losing my mind on that website? God it's shit on mobile.", ">\n\nI especially love how June just looks like a well framed optical illusion photo.", ">\n\nThis is cute and all, but man, it seems a little poor in taste that August is a kitty-shaped military drone blowing up an Iraqi preschool", ">\n\nWhat did Oregon do to deserve this", ">\n\nGee I read that and instantly I thought they had done a study and released an estimated calendar of when an where giant cats would attack infrastructure in 2023. Phew.", ">\n\nOn that day, humanity received a grim reminder…", ">\n\nah yes\nPortland keeping it weird again", ">\n\nit’s cute, but who wrote the copy?", ">\n\nAmazing", ">\n\neverything changed when the cat nation attacked" ]

[ "Imagine the work order. \nYour boss comes to you and says, \"Hey, you're in charge of the cats calendar.\"\n\"What calendar?\"\n\"The one with cats attacking infrastructure?\"\n\"What?\"", ">\n\nyou miss ONE day...", ">\n\nHail Vectron!", ">\n\nBy Vectron!", ">\n\nFor those yet to experience the holy might of Vectron's kindly claw", ">\n\nThank you. I had no idea.", ">\n\nYou are most welcome by Vectron", ">\n\nFor the love of all that is Vectron, your speech warms my Vectronic heart.", ">\n\nMay Vectron’s beard shed its benevolence upon us. 🙏🏻🙏🏻", ">\n\nAnd may all of his correspondence to us be sent Vectronically. So it is written, so shall it be done.", ">\n\nI live in Oregon and started to recognize a bunch of the dams, so I was like, “huh, that’s kinda cool.” Then I saw the text at the bottom of the first page. Portland District. Now a cat calendar makes perfect sense.", ">\n\nSame thing happened to me. I think I'm going to head to kinko's and have them print it out for me.", ">\n\nTell them you need to print some important official military documents before you show them what it is", ">\n\nDon’t forget to tell them you need it right meow!", ">\n\nWho will protect our infrastructure from this menace?", ">\n\nAn array of laser pointers.", ">\n\ncut to giant laser pointer satellite", ">\n\nomigod the jewish space lasers were real", ">\n\n*meowish space lasers", ">\n\nHey that's racist", ">\n\nI think it would be cheaper to buy a calendar than use the ink/toner required to print it.", ">\n\nThat's why you print it at work.", ">\n\nhaha true, oh wait I work from home...", ">\n\nIf you print from home for work you can write printer supplies off on your taxes :)", ">\n\nUh yes boss I needed a calendar, so… oh what? Use the company one? Ummm but the US army has a really nice one and I thought I’d be patriotic - what? Oh, yeah I know we’re in Canada, I just…", ">\n\nPortland is pretty much wannabe Vancouver, BC. I say it goes!", ">\n\nExactly what a Canadian would say...", ">\n\nGoodies, goodie goodie, yum yum.", ">\n\nI just scrolled until I found The Goodies reference but was wondering if I was going to find one at all.", ">\n\nIt's way down the list, isn't it? \n/knees hurt.", ">\n\nOw, my back! Get off my lawn!", ">\n\nOne engineer did it in his free time, and released it for use through the corps. \nThis was NOT government funded.", ">\n\nEven if it was government funded, I support this.", ">\n\nEven if it was government funded it would've been like maybe one day of pay at most? Not a ton for the amount of publicity they'll get that might make them even more money.", ">\n\nAssuming they already have the infrastructure pictures I would be surprised if it took more than 4 work hours. Also for chronically underfunded agencies that kind of PR is exactly how you get voters to convince the politicians to increase funds. I look forward to NASA figuring out how to photoshop giant cats playing with the planets like balls of yarn for their calendar", ">\n\n\nI look forward to NASA figuring out how to photoshop giant cats playing with the planets like balls of yarn for their calendar \n\nWell let me introduce you to the most bizarre social media messaging from an official U.S. government agency: The U.S. Consumer Product Safety Commission's Instagram feed. \nAnd before I catch any \"there's no way this is real\" replies, here's the Washington Post covering it: \n\nHow a federal bureaucrat uses astronaut babies and dogs riding pigeons to try to save your life", ">\n\nThis is rad!", ">\n\nCISA losing their shit rn", ">\n\nI would like one.", ">\n\nIt's a free PDF.", ">\n\nNo he would like one of the cats", ">\n\nyOu wOuLdN'T DoWnloAd a cAT", ">\n\nI can’t believe they included Sherlock getting knocked off a cliff. At least he didn’t jump this time.", ">\n\nI'm shocked that you're the only person I've seen comment on this so far! it's hilarious", ">\n\n\"Every year, dozens of cats attack important infrastructure for our country causing dozens of dollars of damage. Won't you help?\"", ">\n\nI heard this with Sarah McLoughlin's voice", ">\n\nArmy Cats", ">\n\nNow do it with pictures of our crumbling infrastructure.", ">\n\nThis seems like one of those things that is somehow going to age poorly given our Universe's current sense of irony. I don't know how exactly, but there's going to be some mass tragedy involving cats and a suspension bridge or something this year.", ">\n\nThe first image kind of reads like \"this infrastructure is super important so don't damage it\". The calendar almost seems like a shopping list for domestic terrorists or something lol.", ">\n\nI mean, pretty obvious that dams, substations, bridges and the like are good targets for chaos. Google maps gives you all this plus Police stations and everything, with photos and the address. Useless to worry about it", ">\n\nSeriously, anyone who unironicly think terrorists were waiting for a cat calendar to list a bunch of locations to bomb is paranoid about the wrong things.", ">\n\nCats would hunt and eat us if they were bigger than us", ">\n\nThey already do, they are called Tigers.", ">\n\nIf there were smaller tigers, we would keep them as pets, but they'd break all our stuff to prove they're still in charge.", ">\n\nThey already do, they are called Cats.", ">\n\nOH MY GOD!", ">\n\nMy tabby is a cute little tiger", ">\n\nI knew we had infrastructure challenges, but I didn't realize we were facing an infrastructure cat-astrophe!", ">\n\nTake my r/angryupvote", ">\n\nI love how shitty the photoshop is. Really ties it all together", ">\n\nYeah I like the idea--but the pictures chosen and color grading are all off. I'd like this idea better executed more professionally.", ">\n\nOh no I'm serious. The unprofessionalism is the best part. I would absolutely pay money for this", ">\n\nOnly only thing weirder is gonna be their crazy ass plan to save the infrastructure.", ">\n\nIt's the engineer Corp, they can build giant cat carriers.", ">\n\nI guess anything beats the 40 million they spend on viagra to keep the soldiers saluting.", ">\n\nThis is delightful", ">\n\ni was imagining mountain lions breaking in to dumpsters or something, not giant house cats gnawing on substations, not disappointed.", ">\n\nI don’t need a calendar now that our pocket rectangles handle all of that for us, but I really want this calendar.", ">\n\nIt is really convenient to just walk by my schedule versus having to pull it up, scroll, click and expand. I tend to forget about things if I don’t see it in front of me, but that’s just how my brain works. Plus if you’re on the phone trying to schedule something it’s nice to write it out too.", ">\n\nI'm sorry, we're already booked for giant spiders.", ">\n\nI personally kinda love this.", ">\n\nBest use of a miniscule amount of our tax dollars in the entire US $1.7T budget. US Army Corp wins the internet today!", ">\n\nHonestly, the entire army corps of engineers may be one of highest rates of return on public good vs funding", ">\n\nSeriously. They do a shit ton of quality and important public work on a relatively shoe-string budget for engineering. I have a lot of respect for the people that work at the USACOE.", ">\n\nSeptember, now that one is art", ">\n\nHaters will say it's Photoshop.", ">\n\nThey’ve never seen Catzilla.", ">\n\nHero of the Week! Hail yourself!", ">\n\nThere it is!", ">\n\n\nThe Army Corps Of Engineers Has Released a 2023 Calendar Of Giant Cats Attacking <\n\nr/brand new sentence \nAlso, giant cats attacking infrastructure is so 2020. In 2023 it just sounds silly.", ">\n\nSeptember ❤️", ">\n\nOmg. I love this. Especially the text blurbs on the pictures. Very funny and adorable!", ">\n\nSounds like they understand cats are required if you want social media traction", ">\n\nI have never wanted to buy a calendar more than I do now!", ">\n\nOn the one hand, I applaud the idea.\nOn the other hand, the photoshop skills look like they came from the army corps of engineers.", ">\n\nWould you actually want them to look like they were perfectly matched to each environment? I'm pretty sure the comedic effect is all that matters here.\nAnd besides, it was just one engineer that created this on their spare time, rather than an official ACE production.", ">\n\nI was mainly being a bit snarky because the internet. That, and what I said was objectively true.", ">\n\nCan confirm, the Corps of Engineers fuckkkkks", ">\n\nGoddammit I just bought my 2023 calendar too lol", ">\n\nThat’s cute though, not worrisome like a lot of other r/nottheonion posts.", ">\n\nAs ever, the Army Corps of Engineers are the one branch of the US state that can get the important shit done", ">\n\nFrom the comments ITT it's evident that most people are unaware of how important they are to the lives of the majority of productive people in this country (people who live near a coastline or a major body of water). It's not just dams and rivers, it's the actual physical coastline of america that they look after.", ">\n\nYup, it seems double edged- people think oh, they're the army corps and assumes they must be doing only military stuff. But equally if it was civilianised no doubt it'd be a target for cuts. An incredible org, regardless. And whether it's cats or weather or warming or the collapse of neglected infrastructure they're going to get more and more important so it's a damn good thing they exist because in 2023, nobody would invent them...", ">\n\nUSACE is an agency that is funded by the DOD but is vastly ran by civilians. There are very few enlisted or commissioned people in the army corps.", ">\n\nOK this is a thing and this is awesome", ">\n\nOops, I had \"Zombie Redneck Torture Family\" in the betting pool.", ">\n\nGrumble. Never gonna see a merman...", ">\n\nUSACE Portland District is one of the absolute best public sector social media presences out there. Seriously. Check it out.", ">\n\nCats in military pictures is an entire IG channel", ">\n\nGood boot", ">\n\nCommand team must be TDY", ">\n\nThat was even better than the title made me think it would be.", ">\n\nI support my tax dollars going to causes such as this.", ">\n\nFinally tax dollars doing something good", ">\n\nI’m kind of disappointed. From the title, I thought there would be photos of actual big cats attacking infrastructure, not photoshopped domestic cats. Anyone have a photo of a puma going after an electrical substation? Or a tiger gnawing on a water line?", ">\n\nNo. No one has that. Would be very interesting though to compile a calendar like that. Peace brother.", ">\n\nGreat, now I need a color printer.\nSeriously, thank you u/radioman8414!", ">\n\nThis is how I want my tax money spent. Downloaded and put up in my office!", ">\n\nThe regional social media guy who put this together is constantly hilarious", ">\n\nGreatest calendar of 2023.", ">\n\nI need one of these for my office! I've worked on some of these dams!", ">\n\nCan I ask you some dam questions?? I’m sure you know a lot of dam information. I’m sure all of us would love some dam stories. Thank you.", ">\n\nSure way to have a more interesting calendar than just infrastructure.", ">\n\nI would so adopt one if they existed.", ">\n\nI've heard army corps of engineers are very difficult to house train. May want to consider before adopting one.", ">\n\nTouché.", ">\n\nThat's amazing, thank you for posting it!", ">\n\nIs there anywhere to buy a nice physical copy of the calendar?", ">\n\nThose cats are mind-controlled by taxoplasmosis alien ameobas!", ">\n\nI was thinking this was gonna be mountain lions taking out maintenance huts or something like that. This is so much better", ">\n\nI’m the daughter of a former Portland, Oregon, US Army Corps Engineer, and I can confirm they are a strange crew. It makes me view the dams on the Columbia River fondly?", ">\n\nI love this so much.", ">\n\nDude. Awesome.", ">\n\nI love this! My astronomy teacher once did a talk on space cats. It was hysterical. Out of the blue he showed us pictures of space with cats added in. He felt we needed a fun class for laughs. I want this calendar.", ">\n\nThis would be really cool if they got a decent digital artist. But they didn't, they used photoshop about as well as I can.", ">\n\nI think that adds to the charm", ">\n\nDon't even need to see it, where can I buy it", ">\n\nFrom the link - \"Because the Army Corps is a Government Agency, the calendar is in public domain and totally free to download and print\"", ">\n\nThis is so funny, because it’s my Dad’s old workplace (from 1971 until he retired). My father, however, has zero sense of humor so he’d never work on something like this.", ">\n\nI met a guy from the Army Corps of Engineers when I worked for the EPA. Smartest guy I've ever met and the 2nd most hippe like person I've ever met. I'd like to think he had something to do with this idea.", ">\n\nFinally the massive military budget of the US is put to good use.", ">\n\nThis is awesome. I might have to buy one.", ">\n\nNo need. It's free, though you have to print it yourself if you want a physical copy", ">\n\nThis is so adorable! I approve wholeheartedly.", ">\n\nIt's about time.", ">\n\nSappers lead the way", ">\n\nI have so much love for this.", ">\n\nEhisssayons.", ">\n\nLove it.", ">\n\nUnintended benefits of relaxed Marijuana policies :)", ">\n\nUsace has not relaxed cannabis policies. No federal agency has", ">\n\nThey certainly have relaxed policy, even though federal law hasn't changed. It's legal in my state and the current administration has announced they won't be pursuing user level Marijuana charges at the federal level.\nWake up.", ">\n\nUSACE still falls under the same policies as the rest of the army. They're treated as DA civilians, and subject to periodic biochemical testing and the resultant consequences if they pee hot. The army has, and will not in the foreseeable future, relax any policy regarding marijuana.", ">\n\nAdorable idea; wish they had hired someone better at photoshop", ">\n\nIts a free gag calendar that was probably just put together by someone for fun in their spare time. Considering the state of infrastructure in the US I don't imagine the Corps of Engineers has a lot of extra spending money to throw around", ">\n\nIf they were smart, they would print it for us and sell it. I don't want a crappy calender that I printed on regular paper, I want the real thing and I would be glad to pay for it.", ">\n\nGenius!! This needs to be a trend. Reddit, make it so...", ">\n\nfuck yeah we finally gonna balance the budget", ">\n\nDecember's hilarious. I want this calender.", ">\n\nYou can totally tell that this is not real. The lighting on the cats is so obviously different than the environmental mistake. Pathetic effort infrastructure geeks.", ">\n\nSo they can blame cats for shoddy workmanship and lax maintenance.", ">\n\nDon't capitalize \"Of\" in titles", ">\n\nWish they'd focus on not taking eight years to permit a fucking project, those lazy excuses for engineers.", ">\n\nYou’re crazy dude. These peeps have built some amazing things. Extremely impressive.", ">\n\nThey used to.", ">\n\n😂", ">\n\nThis whole absurd thing is exactly my sense of humour. LOVE it.", ">\n\nOregon! I've seen the one at Detroit Dam. Sneaky bugger. Hangs out with Bigfoot.", ">\n\nI need this", ">\n\nThat's some adorable terrorism right there.", ">\n\nI remember seeing them, on quad bikes, with a lot of equipment, on Myrtle Beach beaches, I always wondered what they were doing...", ">\n\nI love this sequel to Beginning of the End!", ">\n\nIs there a way I can buy a physical version?", ">\n\nThey're Demo-cats!", ">\n\nAny recommendations of the best way to get this printed semi-professionally? I tried checking Costco photo centre but they make you use a template.", ">\n\nOf course it’s Portland.", ">\n\nKind of disappointing I can't actually buy a printed one. My daughter would love this.", ">\n\nA pretty good idea for a poster. Who doesn't like cats being cats?", ">\n\nI really wish I had become a part of the ACOE but my mother didn't want her only son in the military.", ">\n\nUsace has civilian positions you're employed by the army, but you don't go through basic", ">\n\nI hope they pay more than Nidec.", ">\n\nThanks for sharing! Downloaded and got my new Lock Screen wallpaper.", ">\n\nDecember is 🔥", ">\n\nObligatory Cat Dynamics", ">\n\nPoliticians will say this is the proof of the REAL reason of why our infrastructure is deteriorating, then vote in a measure to hire their friends and family to counter this threat.", ">\n\nI didnt know cats were domestic terrorists like Republicans. lol", ">\n\nThis is the only kind of apocalypse I could see myself getting excited about.", ">\n\nAugust a missed opportunity to have CAT Excavators.", ">\n\nYou have my attention.", ">\n\nSmart move", ">\n\nGod help us.", ">\n\nBest thing to come out of the Army post WWII.", ">\n\n🤔", ">\n\n\"Let's write a two paragraph article about something freely available on the internet and make absolutely no attempt to actually tell you where to find it\".", ">\n\nCatjira!", ">\n\nhilarious!", ">\n\nFinally", ">\n\nThis is the oniony-est story I’ve seen on here in a while", ">\n\nCant wait for the next spending bill to include cat proofing our infrastructure", ">\n\nHonestly… I’d buy it.", ">\n\nWish I would have heard of that in November or so. This seems unique, fun and a great idea for a calendar.", ">\n\nI heard about this from Last Podcast on the Left, glad to see it pop up on my feed with pictures!", ">\n\nI'm gonna need an NSN For that...", ">\n\nOf course it’s the Portland District", ">\n\nHonestly this is worth buying", ">\n\nIm not a cat person, but I would buy the calendar.", ">\n\nAny way to view the album without losing my mind on that website? God it's shit on mobile.", ">\n\nI especially love how June just looks like a well framed optical illusion photo.", ">\n\nThis is cute and all, but man, it seems a little poor in taste that August is a kitty-shaped military drone blowing up an Iraqi preschool", ">\n\nWhat did Oregon do to deserve this", ">\n\nGee I read that and instantly I thought they had done a study and released an estimated calendar of when an where giant cats would attack infrastructure in 2023. Phew.", ">\n\nOn that day, humanity received a grim reminder…", ">\n\nah yes\nPortland keeping it weird again", ">\n\nit’s cute, but who wrote the copy?", ">\n\nAmazing", ">\n\neverything changed when the cat nation attacked", ">\n\nI'm into it" ]

[ "Imagine the work order. \nYour boss comes to you and says, \"Hey, you're in charge of the cats calendar.\"\n\"What calendar?\"\n\"The one with cats attacking infrastructure?\"\n\"What?\"", ">\n\nyou miss ONE day...", ">\n\nHail Vectron!", ">\n\nBy Vectron!", ">\n\nFor those yet to experience the holy might of Vectron's kindly claw", ">\n\nThank you. I had no idea.", ">\n\nYou are most welcome by Vectron", ">\n\nFor the love of all that is Vectron, your speech warms my Vectronic heart.", ">\n\nMay Vectron’s beard shed its benevolence upon us. 🙏🏻🙏🏻", ">\n\nAnd may all of his correspondence to us be sent Vectronically. So it is written, so shall it be done.", ">\n\nI live in Oregon and started to recognize a bunch of the dams, so I was like, “huh, that’s kinda cool.” Then I saw the text at the bottom of the first page. Portland District. Now a cat calendar makes perfect sense.", ">\n\nSame thing happened to me. I think I'm going to head to kinko's and have them print it out for me.", ">\n\nTell them you need to print some important official military documents before you show them what it is", ">\n\nDon’t forget to tell them you need it right meow!", ">\n\nWho will protect our infrastructure from this menace?", ">\n\nAn array of laser pointers.", ">\n\ncut to giant laser pointer satellite", ">\n\nomigod the jewish space lasers were real", ">\n\n*meowish space lasers", ">\n\nHey that's racist", ">\n\nI think it would be cheaper to buy a calendar than use the ink/toner required to print it.", ">\n\nThat's why you print it at work.", ">\n\nhaha true, oh wait I work from home...", ">\n\nIf you print from home for work you can write printer supplies off on your taxes :)", ">\n\nUh yes boss I needed a calendar, so… oh what? Use the company one? Ummm but the US army has a really nice one and I thought I’d be patriotic - what? Oh, yeah I know we’re in Canada, I just…", ">\n\nPortland is pretty much wannabe Vancouver, BC. I say it goes!", ">\n\nExactly what a Canadian would say...", ">\n\nGoodies, goodie goodie, yum yum.", ">\n\nI just scrolled until I found The Goodies reference but was wondering if I was going to find one at all.", ">\n\nIt's way down the list, isn't it? \n/knees hurt.", ">\n\nOw, my back! Get off my lawn!", ">\n\nOne engineer did it in his free time, and released it for use through the corps. \nThis was NOT government funded.", ">\n\nEven if it was government funded, I support this.", ">\n\nEven if it was government funded it would've been like maybe one day of pay at most? Not a ton for the amount of publicity they'll get that might make them even more money.", ">\n\nAssuming they already have the infrastructure pictures I would be surprised if it took more than 4 work hours. Also for chronically underfunded agencies that kind of PR is exactly how you get voters to convince the politicians to increase funds. I look forward to NASA figuring out how to photoshop giant cats playing with the planets like balls of yarn for their calendar", ">\n\n\nI look forward to NASA figuring out how to photoshop giant cats playing with the planets like balls of yarn for their calendar \n\nWell let me introduce you to the most bizarre social media messaging from an official U.S. government agency: The U.S. Consumer Product Safety Commission's Instagram feed. \nAnd before I catch any \"there's no way this is real\" replies, here's the Washington Post covering it: \n\nHow a federal bureaucrat uses astronaut babies and dogs riding pigeons to try to save your life", ">\n\nThis is rad!", ">\n\nCISA losing their shit rn", ">\n\nI would like one.", ">\n\nIt's a free PDF.", ">\n\nNo he would like one of the cats", ">\n\nyOu wOuLdN'T DoWnloAd a cAT", ">\n\nI can’t believe they included Sherlock getting knocked off a cliff. At least he didn’t jump this time.", ">\n\nI'm shocked that you're the only person I've seen comment on this so far! it's hilarious", ">\n\n\"Every year, dozens of cats attack important infrastructure for our country causing dozens of dollars of damage. Won't you help?\"", ">\n\nI heard this with Sarah McLoughlin's voice", ">\n\nArmy Cats", ">\n\nNow do it with pictures of our crumbling infrastructure.", ">\n\nThis seems like one of those things that is somehow going to age poorly given our Universe's current sense of irony. I don't know how exactly, but there's going to be some mass tragedy involving cats and a suspension bridge or something this year.", ">\n\nThe first image kind of reads like \"this infrastructure is super important so don't damage it\". The calendar almost seems like a shopping list for domestic terrorists or something lol.", ">\n\nI mean, pretty obvious that dams, substations, bridges and the like are good targets for chaos. Google maps gives you all this plus Police stations and everything, with photos and the address. Useless to worry about it", ">\n\nSeriously, anyone who unironicly think terrorists were waiting for a cat calendar to list a bunch of locations to bomb is paranoid about the wrong things.", ">\n\nCats would hunt and eat us if they were bigger than us", ">\n\nThey already do, they are called Tigers.", ">\n\nIf there were smaller tigers, we would keep them as pets, but they'd break all our stuff to prove they're still in charge.", ">\n\nThey already do, they are called Cats.", ">\n\nOH MY GOD!", ">\n\nMy tabby is a cute little tiger", ">\n\nI knew we had infrastructure challenges, but I didn't realize we were facing an infrastructure cat-astrophe!", ">\n\nTake my r/angryupvote", ">\n\nI love how shitty the photoshop is. Really ties it all together", ">\n\nYeah I like the idea--but the pictures chosen and color grading are all off. I'd like this idea better executed more professionally.", ">\n\nOh no I'm serious. The unprofessionalism is the best part. I would absolutely pay money for this", ">\n\nOnly only thing weirder is gonna be their crazy ass plan to save the infrastructure.", ">\n\nIt's the engineer Corp, they can build giant cat carriers.", ">\n\nI guess anything beats the 40 million they spend on viagra to keep the soldiers saluting.", ">\n\nThis is delightful", ">\n\ni was imagining mountain lions breaking in to dumpsters or something, not giant house cats gnawing on substations, not disappointed.", ">\n\nI don’t need a calendar now that our pocket rectangles handle all of that for us, but I really want this calendar.", ">\n\nIt is really convenient to just walk by my schedule versus having to pull it up, scroll, click and expand. I tend to forget about things if I don’t see it in front of me, but that’s just how my brain works. Plus if you’re on the phone trying to schedule something it’s nice to write it out too.", ">\n\nI'm sorry, we're already booked for giant spiders.", ">\n\nI personally kinda love this.", ">\n\nBest use of a miniscule amount of our tax dollars in the entire US $1.7T budget. US Army Corp wins the internet today!", ">\n\nHonestly, the entire army corps of engineers may be one of highest rates of return on public good vs funding", ">\n\nSeriously. They do a shit ton of quality and important public work on a relatively shoe-string budget for engineering. I have a lot of respect for the people that work at the USACOE.", ">\n\nSeptember, now that one is art", ">\n\nHaters will say it's Photoshop.", ">\n\nThey’ve never seen Catzilla.", ">\n\nHero of the Week! Hail yourself!", ">\n\nThere it is!", ">\n\n\nThe Army Corps Of Engineers Has Released a 2023 Calendar Of Giant Cats Attacking <\n\nr/brand new sentence \nAlso, giant cats attacking infrastructure is so 2020. In 2023 it just sounds silly.", ">\n\nSeptember ❤️", ">\n\nOmg. I love this. Especially the text blurbs on the pictures. Very funny and adorable!", ">\n\nSounds like they understand cats are required if you want social media traction", ">\n\nI have never wanted to buy a calendar more than I do now!", ">\n\nOn the one hand, I applaud the idea.\nOn the other hand, the photoshop skills look like they came from the army corps of engineers.", ">\n\nWould you actually want them to look like they were perfectly matched to each environment? I'm pretty sure the comedic effect is all that matters here.\nAnd besides, it was just one engineer that created this on their spare time, rather than an official ACE production.", ">\n\nI was mainly being a bit snarky because the internet. That, and what I said was objectively true.", ">\n\nCan confirm, the Corps of Engineers fuckkkkks", ">\n\nGoddammit I just bought my 2023 calendar too lol", ">\n\nThat’s cute though, not worrisome like a lot of other r/nottheonion posts.", ">\n\nAs ever, the Army Corps of Engineers are the one branch of the US state that can get the important shit done", ">\n\nFrom the comments ITT it's evident that most people are unaware of how important they are to the lives of the majority of productive people in this country (people who live near a coastline or a major body of water). It's not just dams and rivers, it's the actual physical coastline of america that they look after.", ">\n\nYup, it seems double edged- people think oh, they're the army corps and assumes they must be doing only military stuff. But equally if it was civilianised no doubt it'd be a target for cuts. An incredible org, regardless. And whether it's cats or weather or warming or the collapse of neglected infrastructure they're going to get more and more important so it's a damn good thing they exist because in 2023, nobody would invent them...", ">\n\nUSACE is an agency that is funded by the DOD but is vastly ran by civilians. There are very few enlisted or commissioned people in the army corps.", ">\n\nOK this is a thing and this is awesome", ">\n\nOops, I had \"Zombie Redneck Torture Family\" in the betting pool.", ">\n\nGrumble. Never gonna see a merman...", ">\n\nUSACE Portland District is one of the absolute best public sector social media presences out there. Seriously. Check it out.", ">\n\nCats in military pictures is an entire IG channel", ">\n\nGood boot", ">\n\nCommand team must be TDY", ">\n\nThat was even better than the title made me think it would be.", ">\n\nI support my tax dollars going to causes such as this.", ">\n\nFinally tax dollars doing something good", ">\n\nI’m kind of disappointed. From the title, I thought there would be photos of actual big cats attacking infrastructure, not photoshopped domestic cats. Anyone have a photo of a puma going after an electrical substation? Or a tiger gnawing on a water line?", ">\n\nNo. No one has that. Would be very interesting though to compile a calendar like that. Peace brother.", ">\n\nGreat, now I need a color printer.\nSeriously, thank you u/radioman8414!", ">\n\nThis is how I want my tax money spent. Downloaded and put up in my office!", ">\n\nThe regional social media guy who put this together is constantly hilarious", ">\n\nGreatest calendar of 2023.", ">\n\nI need one of these for my office! I've worked on some of these dams!", ">\n\nCan I ask you some dam questions?? I’m sure you know a lot of dam information. I’m sure all of us would love some dam stories. Thank you.", ">\n\nSure way to have a more interesting calendar than just infrastructure.", ">\n\nI would so adopt one if they existed.", ">\n\nI've heard army corps of engineers are very difficult to house train. May want to consider before adopting one.", ">\n\nTouché.", ">\n\nThat's amazing, thank you for posting it!", ">\n\nIs there anywhere to buy a nice physical copy of the calendar?", ">\n\nThose cats are mind-controlled by taxoplasmosis alien ameobas!", ">\n\nI was thinking this was gonna be mountain lions taking out maintenance huts or something like that. This is so much better", ">\n\nI’m the daughter of a former Portland, Oregon, US Army Corps Engineer, and I can confirm they are a strange crew. It makes me view the dams on the Columbia River fondly?", ">\n\nI love this so much.", ">\n\nDude. Awesome.", ">\n\nI love this! My astronomy teacher once did a talk on space cats. It was hysterical. Out of the blue he showed us pictures of space with cats added in. He felt we needed a fun class for laughs. I want this calendar.", ">\n\nThis would be really cool if they got a decent digital artist. But they didn't, they used photoshop about as well as I can.", ">\n\nI think that adds to the charm", ">\n\nDon't even need to see it, where can I buy it", ">\n\nFrom the link - \"Because the Army Corps is a Government Agency, the calendar is in public domain and totally free to download and print\"", ">\n\nThis is so funny, because it’s my Dad’s old workplace (from 1971 until he retired). My father, however, has zero sense of humor so he’d never work on something like this.", ">\n\nI met a guy from the Army Corps of Engineers when I worked for the EPA. Smartest guy I've ever met and the 2nd most hippe like person I've ever met. I'd like to think he had something to do with this idea.", ">\n\nFinally the massive military budget of the US is put to good use.", ">\n\nThis is awesome. I might have to buy one.", ">\n\nNo need. It's free, though you have to print it yourself if you want a physical copy", ">\n\nThis is so adorable! I approve wholeheartedly.", ">\n\nIt's about time.", ">\n\nSappers lead the way", ">\n\nI have so much love for this.", ">\n\nEhisssayons.", ">\n\nLove it.", ">\n\nUnintended benefits of relaxed Marijuana policies :)", ">\n\nUsace has not relaxed cannabis policies. No federal agency has", ">\n\nThey certainly have relaxed policy, even though federal law hasn't changed. It's legal in my state and the current administration has announced they won't be pursuing user level Marijuana charges at the federal level.\nWake up.", ">\n\nUSACE still falls under the same policies as the rest of the army. They're treated as DA civilians, and subject to periodic biochemical testing and the resultant consequences if they pee hot. The army has, and will not in the foreseeable future, relax any policy regarding marijuana.", ">\n\nAdorable idea; wish they had hired someone better at photoshop", ">\n\nIts a free gag calendar that was probably just put together by someone for fun in their spare time. Considering the state of infrastructure in the US I don't imagine the Corps of Engineers has a lot of extra spending money to throw around", ">\n\nIf they were smart, they would print it for us and sell it. I don't want a crappy calender that I printed on regular paper, I want the real thing and I would be glad to pay for it.", ">\n\nGenius!! This needs to be a trend. Reddit, make it so...", ">\n\nfuck yeah we finally gonna balance the budget", ">\n\nDecember's hilarious. I want this calender.", ">\n\nYou can totally tell that this is not real. The lighting on the cats is so obviously different than the environmental mistake. Pathetic effort infrastructure geeks.", ">\n\nSo they can blame cats for shoddy workmanship and lax maintenance.", ">\n\nDon't capitalize \"Of\" in titles", ">\n\nWish they'd focus on not taking eight years to permit a fucking project, those lazy excuses for engineers.", ">\n\nYou’re crazy dude. These peeps have built some amazing things. Extremely impressive.", ">\n\nThey used to.", ">\n\n😂", ">\n\nThis whole absurd thing is exactly my sense of humour. LOVE it.", ">\n\nOregon! I've seen the one at Detroit Dam. Sneaky bugger. Hangs out with Bigfoot.", ">\n\nI need this", ">\n\nThat's some adorable terrorism right there.", ">\n\nI remember seeing them, on quad bikes, with a lot of equipment, on Myrtle Beach beaches, I always wondered what they were doing...", ">\n\nI love this sequel to Beginning of the End!", ">\n\nIs there a way I can buy a physical version?", ">\n\nThey're Demo-cats!", ">\n\nAny recommendations of the best way to get this printed semi-professionally? I tried checking Costco photo centre but they make you use a template.", ">\n\nOf course it’s Portland.", ">\n\nKind of disappointing I can't actually buy a printed one. My daughter would love this.", ">\n\nA pretty good idea for a poster. Who doesn't like cats being cats?", ">\n\nI really wish I had become a part of the ACOE but my mother didn't want her only son in the military.", ">\n\nUsace has civilian positions you're employed by the army, but you don't go through basic", ">\n\nI hope they pay more than Nidec.", ">\n\nThanks for sharing! Downloaded and got my new Lock Screen wallpaper.", ">\n\nDecember is 🔥", ">\n\nObligatory Cat Dynamics", ">\n\nPoliticians will say this is the proof of the REAL reason of why our infrastructure is deteriorating, then vote in a measure to hire their friends and family to counter this threat.", ">\n\nI didnt know cats were domestic terrorists like Republicans. lol", ">\n\nThis is the only kind of apocalypse I could see myself getting excited about.", ">\n\nAugust a missed opportunity to have CAT Excavators.", ">\n\nYou have my attention.", ">\n\nSmart move", ">\n\nGod help us.", ">\n\nBest thing to come out of the Army post WWII.", ">\n\n🤔", ">\n\n\"Let's write a two paragraph article about something freely available on the internet and make absolutely no attempt to actually tell you where to find it\".", ">\n\nCatjira!", ">\n\nhilarious!", ">\n\nFinally", ">\n\nThis is the oniony-est story I’ve seen on here in a while", ">\n\nCant wait for the next spending bill to include cat proofing our infrastructure", ">\n\nHonestly… I’d buy it.", ">\n\nWish I would have heard of that in November or so. This seems unique, fun and a great idea for a calendar.", ">\n\nI heard about this from Last Podcast on the Left, glad to see it pop up on my feed with pictures!", ">\n\nI'm gonna need an NSN For that...", ">\n\nOf course it’s the Portland District", ">\n\nHonestly this is worth buying", ">\n\nIm not a cat person, but I would buy the calendar.", ">\n\nAny way to view the album without losing my mind on that website? God it's shit on mobile.", ">\n\nI especially love how June just looks like a well framed optical illusion photo.", ">\n\nThis is cute and all, but man, it seems a little poor in taste that August is a kitty-shaped military drone blowing up an Iraqi preschool", ">\n\nWhat did Oregon do to deserve this", ">\n\nGee I read that and instantly I thought they had done a study and released an estimated calendar of when an where giant cats would attack infrastructure in 2023. Phew.", ">\n\nOn that day, humanity received a grim reminder…", ">\n\nah yes\nPortland keeping it weird again", ">\n\nit’s cute, but who wrote the copy?", ">\n\nAmazing", ">\n\neverything changed when the cat nation attacked", ">\n\nI'm into it", ">\n\nnow this is what I want my tax dollars going towards" ]

[ "Imagine the work order. \nYour boss comes to you and says, \"Hey, you're in charge of the cats calendar.\"\n\"What calendar?\"\n\"The one with cats attacking infrastructure?\"\n\"What?\"", ">\n\nyou miss ONE day...", ">\n\nHail Vectron!", ">\n\nBy Vectron!", ">\n\nFor those yet to experience the holy might of Vectron's kindly claw", ">\n\nThank you. I had no idea.", ">\n\nYou are most welcome by Vectron", ">\n\nFor the love of all that is Vectron, your speech warms my Vectronic heart.", ">\n\nMay Vectron’s beard shed its benevolence upon us. 🙏🏻🙏🏻", ">\n\nAnd may all of his correspondence to us be sent Vectronically. So it is written, so shall it be done.", ">\n\nI live in Oregon and started to recognize a bunch of the dams, so I was like, “huh, that’s kinda cool.” Then I saw the text at the bottom of the first page. Portland District. Now a cat calendar makes perfect sense.", ">\n\nSame thing happened to me. I think I'm going to head to kinko's and have them print it out for me.", ">\n\nTell them you need to print some important official military documents before you show them what it is", ">\n\nDon’t forget to tell them you need it right meow!", ">\n\nWho will protect our infrastructure from this menace?", ">\n\nAn array of laser pointers.", ">\n\ncut to giant laser pointer satellite", ">\n\nomigod the jewish space lasers were real", ">\n\n*meowish space lasers", ">\n\nHey that's racist", ">\n\nI think it would be cheaper to buy a calendar than use the ink/toner required to print it.", ">\n\nThat's why you print it at work.", ">\n\nhaha true, oh wait I work from home...", ">\n\nIf you print from home for work you can write printer supplies off on your taxes :)", ">\n\nUh yes boss I needed a calendar, so… oh what? Use the company one? Ummm but the US army has a really nice one and I thought I’d be patriotic - what? Oh, yeah I know we’re in Canada, I just…", ">\n\nPortland is pretty much wannabe Vancouver, BC. I say it goes!", ">\n\nExactly what a Canadian would say...", ">\n\nGoodies, goodie goodie, yum yum.", ">\n\nI just scrolled until I found The Goodies reference but was wondering if I was going to find one at all.", ">\n\nIt's way down the list, isn't it? \n/knees hurt.", ">\n\nOw, my back! Get off my lawn!", ">\n\nOne engineer did it in his free time, and released it for use through the corps. \nThis was NOT government funded.", ">\n\nEven if it was government funded, I support this.", ">\n\nEven if it was government funded it would've been like maybe one day of pay at most? Not a ton for the amount of publicity they'll get that might make them even more money.", ">\n\nAssuming they already have the infrastructure pictures I would be surprised if it took more than 4 work hours. Also for chronically underfunded agencies that kind of PR is exactly how you get voters to convince the politicians to increase funds. I look forward to NASA figuring out how to photoshop giant cats playing with the planets like balls of yarn for their calendar", ">\n\n\nI look forward to NASA figuring out how to photoshop giant cats playing with the planets like balls of yarn for their calendar \n\nWell let me introduce you to the most bizarre social media messaging from an official U.S. government agency: The U.S. Consumer Product Safety Commission's Instagram feed. \nAnd before I catch any \"there's no way this is real\" replies, here's the Washington Post covering it: \n\nHow a federal bureaucrat uses astronaut babies and dogs riding pigeons to try to save your life", ">\n\nThis is rad!", ">\n\nCISA losing their shit rn", ">\n\nI would like one.", ">\n\nIt's a free PDF.", ">\n\nNo he would like one of the cats", ">\n\nyOu wOuLdN'T DoWnloAd a cAT", ">\n\nI can’t believe they included Sherlock getting knocked off a cliff. At least he didn’t jump this time.", ">\n\nI'm shocked that you're the only person I've seen comment on this so far! it's hilarious", ">\n\n\"Every year, dozens of cats attack important infrastructure for our country causing dozens of dollars of damage. Won't you help?\"", ">\n\nI heard this with Sarah McLoughlin's voice", ">\n\nArmy Cats", ">\n\nNow do it with pictures of our crumbling infrastructure.", ">\n\nThis seems like one of those things that is somehow going to age poorly given our Universe's current sense of irony. I don't know how exactly, but there's going to be some mass tragedy involving cats and a suspension bridge or something this year.", ">\n\nThe first image kind of reads like \"this infrastructure is super important so don't damage it\". The calendar almost seems like a shopping list for domestic terrorists or something lol.", ">\n\nI mean, pretty obvious that dams, substations, bridges and the like are good targets for chaos. Google maps gives you all this plus Police stations and everything, with photos and the address. Useless to worry about it", ">\n\nSeriously, anyone who unironicly think terrorists were waiting for a cat calendar to list a bunch of locations to bomb is paranoid about the wrong things.", ">\n\nCats would hunt and eat us if they were bigger than us", ">\n\nThey already do, they are called Tigers.", ">\n\nIf there were smaller tigers, we would keep them as pets, but they'd break all our stuff to prove they're still in charge.", ">\n\nThey already do, they are called Cats.", ">\n\nOH MY GOD!", ">\n\nMy tabby is a cute little tiger", ">\n\nI knew we had infrastructure challenges, but I didn't realize we were facing an infrastructure cat-astrophe!", ">\n\nTake my r/angryupvote", ">\n\nI love how shitty the photoshop is. Really ties it all together", ">\n\nYeah I like the idea--but the pictures chosen and color grading are all off. I'd like this idea better executed more professionally.", ">\n\nOh no I'm serious. The unprofessionalism is the best part. I would absolutely pay money for this", ">\n\nOnly only thing weirder is gonna be their crazy ass plan to save the infrastructure.", ">\n\nIt's the engineer Corp, they can build giant cat carriers.", ">\n\nI guess anything beats the 40 million they spend on viagra to keep the soldiers saluting.", ">\n\nThis is delightful", ">\n\ni was imagining mountain lions breaking in to dumpsters or something, not giant house cats gnawing on substations, not disappointed.", ">\n\nI don’t need a calendar now that our pocket rectangles handle all of that for us, but I really want this calendar.", ">\n\nIt is really convenient to just walk by my schedule versus having to pull it up, scroll, click and expand. I tend to forget about things if I don’t see it in front of me, but that’s just how my brain works. Plus if you’re on the phone trying to schedule something it’s nice to write it out too.", ">\n\nI'm sorry, we're already booked for giant spiders.", ">\n\nI personally kinda love this.", ">\n\nBest use of a miniscule amount of our tax dollars in the entire US $1.7T budget. US Army Corp wins the internet today!", ">\n\nHonestly, the entire army corps of engineers may be one of highest rates of return on public good vs funding", ">\n\nSeriously. They do a shit ton of quality and important public work on a relatively shoe-string budget for engineering. I have a lot of respect for the people that work at the USACOE.", ">\n\nSeptember, now that one is art", ">\n\nHaters will say it's Photoshop.", ">\n\nThey’ve never seen Catzilla.", ">\n\nHero of the Week! Hail yourself!", ">\n\nThere it is!", ">\n\n\nThe Army Corps Of Engineers Has Released a 2023 Calendar Of Giant Cats Attacking <\n\nr/brand new sentence \nAlso, giant cats attacking infrastructure is so 2020. In 2023 it just sounds silly.", ">\n\nSeptember ❤️", ">\n\nOmg. I love this. Especially the text blurbs on the pictures. Very funny and adorable!", ">\n\nSounds like they understand cats are required if you want social media traction", ">\n\nI have never wanted to buy a calendar more than I do now!", ">\n\nOn the one hand, I applaud the idea.\nOn the other hand, the photoshop skills look like they came from the army corps of engineers.", ">\n\nWould you actually want them to look like they were perfectly matched to each environment? I'm pretty sure the comedic effect is all that matters here.\nAnd besides, it was just one engineer that created this on their spare time, rather than an official ACE production.", ">\n\nI was mainly being a bit snarky because the internet. That, and what I said was objectively true.", ">\n\nCan confirm, the Corps of Engineers fuckkkkks", ">\n\nGoddammit I just bought my 2023 calendar too lol", ">\n\nThat’s cute though, not worrisome like a lot of other r/nottheonion posts.", ">\n\nAs ever, the Army Corps of Engineers are the one branch of the US state that can get the important shit done", ">\n\nFrom the comments ITT it's evident that most people are unaware of how important they are to the lives of the majority of productive people in this country (people who live near a coastline or a major body of water). It's not just dams and rivers, it's the actual physical coastline of america that they look after.", ">\n\nYup, it seems double edged- people think oh, they're the army corps and assumes they must be doing only military stuff. But equally if it was civilianised no doubt it'd be a target for cuts. An incredible org, regardless. And whether it's cats or weather or warming or the collapse of neglected infrastructure they're going to get more and more important so it's a damn good thing they exist because in 2023, nobody would invent them...", ">\n\nUSACE is an agency that is funded by the DOD but is vastly ran by civilians. There are very few enlisted or commissioned people in the army corps.", ">\n\nOK this is a thing and this is awesome", ">\n\nOops, I had \"Zombie Redneck Torture Family\" in the betting pool.", ">\n\nGrumble. Never gonna see a merman...", ">\n\nUSACE Portland District is one of the absolute best public sector social media presences out there. Seriously. Check it out.", ">\n\nCats in military pictures is an entire IG channel", ">\n\nGood boot", ">\n\nCommand team must be TDY", ">\n\nThat was even better than the title made me think it would be.", ">\n\nI support my tax dollars going to causes such as this.", ">\n\nFinally tax dollars doing something good", ">\n\nI’m kind of disappointed. From the title, I thought there would be photos of actual big cats attacking infrastructure, not photoshopped domestic cats. Anyone have a photo of a puma going after an electrical substation? Or a tiger gnawing on a water line?", ">\n\nNo. No one has that. Would be very interesting though to compile a calendar like that. Peace brother.", ">\n\nGreat, now I need a color printer.\nSeriously, thank you u/radioman8414!", ">\n\nThis is how I want my tax money spent. Downloaded and put up in my office!", ">\n\nThe regional social media guy who put this together is constantly hilarious", ">\n\nGreatest calendar of 2023.", ">\n\nI need one of these for my office! I've worked on some of these dams!", ">\n\nCan I ask you some dam questions?? I’m sure you know a lot of dam information. I’m sure all of us would love some dam stories. Thank you.", ">\n\nSure way to have a more interesting calendar than just infrastructure.", ">\n\nI would so adopt one if they existed.", ">\n\nI've heard army corps of engineers are very difficult to house train. May want to consider before adopting one.", ">\n\nTouché.", ">\n\nThat's amazing, thank you for posting it!", ">\n\nIs there anywhere to buy a nice physical copy of the calendar?", ">\n\nThose cats are mind-controlled by taxoplasmosis alien ameobas!", ">\n\nI was thinking this was gonna be mountain lions taking out maintenance huts or something like that. This is so much better", ">\n\nI’m the daughter of a former Portland, Oregon, US Army Corps Engineer, and I can confirm they are a strange crew. It makes me view the dams on the Columbia River fondly?", ">\n\nI love this so much.", ">\n\nDude. Awesome.", ">\n\nI love this! My astronomy teacher once did a talk on space cats. It was hysterical. Out of the blue he showed us pictures of space with cats added in. He felt we needed a fun class for laughs. I want this calendar.", ">\n\nThis would be really cool if they got a decent digital artist. But they didn't, they used photoshop about as well as I can.", ">\n\nI think that adds to the charm", ">\n\nDon't even need to see it, where can I buy it", ">\n\nFrom the link - \"Because the Army Corps is a Government Agency, the calendar is in public domain and totally free to download and print\"", ">\n\nThis is so funny, because it’s my Dad’s old workplace (from 1971 until he retired). My father, however, has zero sense of humor so he’d never work on something like this.", ">\n\nI met a guy from the Army Corps of Engineers when I worked for the EPA. Smartest guy I've ever met and the 2nd most hippe like person I've ever met. I'd like to think he had something to do with this idea.", ">\n\nFinally the massive military budget of the US is put to good use.", ">\n\nThis is awesome. I might have to buy one.", ">\n\nNo need. It's free, though you have to print it yourself if you want a physical copy", ">\n\nThis is so adorable! I approve wholeheartedly.", ">\n\nIt's about time.", ">\n\nSappers lead the way", ">\n\nI have so much love for this.", ">\n\nEhisssayons.", ">\n\nLove it.", ">\n\nUnintended benefits of relaxed Marijuana policies :)", ">\n\nUsace has not relaxed cannabis policies. No federal agency has", ">\n\nThey certainly have relaxed policy, even though federal law hasn't changed. It's legal in my state and the current administration has announced they won't be pursuing user level Marijuana charges at the federal level.\nWake up.", ">\n\nUSACE still falls under the same policies as the rest of the army. They're treated as DA civilians, and subject to periodic biochemical testing and the resultant consequences if they pee hot. The army has, and will not in the foreseeable future, relax any policy regarding marijuana.", ">\n\nAdorable idea; wish they had hired someone better at photoshop", ">\n\nIts a free gag calendar that was probably just put together by someone for fun in their spare time. Considering the state of infrastructure in the US I don't imagine the Corps of Engineers has a lot of extra spending money to throw around", ">\n\nIf they were smart, they would print it for us and sell it. I don't want a crappy calender that I printed on regular paper, I want the real thing and I would be glad to pay for it.", ">\n\nGenius!! This needs to be a trend. Reddit, make it so...", ">\n\nfuck yeah we finally gonna balance the budget", ">\n\nDecember's hilarious. I want this calender.", ">\n\nYou can totally tell that this is not real. The lighting on the cats is so obviously different than the environmental mistake. Pathetic effort infrastructure geeks.", ">\n\nSo they can blame cats for shoddy workmanship and lax maintenance.", ">\n\nDon't capitalize \"Of\" in titles", ">\n\nWish they'd focus on not taking eight years to permit a fucking project, those lazy excuses for engineers.", ">\n\nYou’re crazy dude. These peeps have built some amazing things. Extremely impressive.", ">\n\nThey used to.", ">\n\n😂", ">\n\nThis whole absurd thing is exactly my sense of humour. LOVE it.", ">\n\nOregon! I've seen the one at Detroit Dam. Sneaky bugger. Hangs out with Bigfoot.", ">\n\nI need this", ">\n\nThat's some adorable terrorism right there.", ">\n\nI remember seeing them, on quad bikes, with a lot of equipment, on Myrtle Beach beaches, I always wondered what they were doing...", ">\n\nI love this sequel to Beginning of the End!", ">\n\nIs there a way I can buy a physical version?", ">\n\nThey're Demo-cats!", ">\n\nAny recommendations of the best way to get this printed semi-professionally? I tried checking Costco photo centre but they make you use a template.", ">\n\nOf course it’s Portland.", ">\n\nKind of disappointing I can't actually buy a printed one. My daughter would love this.", ">\n\nA pretty good idea for a poster. Who doesn't like cats being cats?", ">\n\nI really wish I had become a part of the ACOE but my mother didn't want her only son in the military.", ">\n\nUsace has civilian positions you're employed by the army, but you don't go through basic", ">\n\nI hope they pay more than Nidec.", ">\n\nThanks for sharing! Downloaded and got my new Lock Screen wallpaper.", ">\n\nDecember is 🔥", ">\n\nObligatory Cat Dynamics", ">\n\nPoliticians will say this is the proof of the REAL reason of why our infrastructure is deteriorating, then vote in a measure to hire their friends and family to counter this threat.", ">\n\nI didnt know cats were domestic terrorists like Republicans. lol", ">\n\nThis is the only kind of apocalypse I could see myself getting excited about.", ">\n\nAugust a missed opportunity to have CAT Excavators.", ">\n\nYou have my attention.", ">\n\nSmart move", ">\n\nGod help us.", ">\n\nBest thing to come out of the Army post WWII.", ">\n\n🤔", ">\n\n\"Let's write a two paragraph article about something freely available on the internet and make absolutely no attempt to actually tell you where to find it\".", ">\n\nCatjira!", ">\n\nhilarious!", ">\n\nFinally", ">\n\nThis is the oniony-est story I’ve seen on here in a while", ">\n\nCant wait for the next spending bill to include cat proofing our infrastructure", ">\n\nHonestly… I’d buy it.", ">\n\nWish I would have heard of that in November or so. This seems unique, fun and a great idea for a calendar.", ">\n\nI heard about this from Last Podcast on the Left, glad to see it pop up on my feed with pictures!", ">\n\nI'm gonna need an NSN For that...", ">\n\nOf course it’s the Portland District", ">\n\nHonestly this is worth buying", ">\n\nIm not a cat person, but I would buy the calendar.", ">\n\nAny way to view the album without losing my mind on that website? God it's shit on mobile.", ">\n\nI especially love how June just looks like a well framed optical illusion photo.", ">\n\nThis is cute and all, but man, it seems a little poor in taste that August is a kitty-shaped military drone blowing up an Iraqi preschool", ">\n\nWhat did Oregon do to deserve this", ">\n\nGee I read that and instantly I thought they had done a study and released an estimated calendar of when an where giant cats would attack infrastructure in 2023. Phew.", ">\n\nOn that day, humanity received a grim reminder…", ">\n\nah yes\nPortland keeping it weird again", ">\n\nit’s cute, but who wrote the copy?", ">\n\nAmazing", ">\n\neverything changed when the cat nation attacked", ">\n\nI'm into it", ">\n\nnow this is what I want my tax dollars going towards", ">\n\nI'd love to believe that there was some huge misunderstanding and somewhere someone had actually meant CATs like the company with the big heavy machinery" ]

[ "Imagine the work order. \nYour boss comes to you and says, \"Hey, you're in charge of the cats calendar.\"\n\"What calendar?\"\n\"The one with cats attacking infrastructure?\"\n\"What?\"", ">\n\nyou miss ONE day...", ">\n\nHail Vectron!", ">\n\nBy Vectron!", ">\n\nFor those yet to experience the holy might of Vectron's kindly claw", ">\n\nThank you. I had no idea.", ">\n\nYou are most welcome by Vectron", ">\n\nFor the love of all that is Vectron, your speech warms my Vectronic heart.", ">\n\nMay Vectron’s beard shed its benevolence upon us. 🙏🏻🙏🏻", ">\n\nAnd may all of his correspondence to us be sent Vectronically. So it is written, so shall it be done.", ">\n\nI live in Oregon and started to recognize a bunch of the dams, so I was like, “huh, that’s kinda cool.” Then I saw the text at the bottom of the first page. Portland District. Now a cat calendar makes perfect sense.", ">\n\nSame thing happened to me. I think I'm going to head to kinko's and have them print it out for me.", ">\n\nTell them you need to print some important official military documents before you show them what it is", ">\n\nDon’t forget to tell them you need it right meow!", ">\n\nWho will protect our infrastructure from this menace?", ">\n\nAn array of laser pointers.", ">\n\ncut to giant laser pointer satellite", ">\n\nomigod the jewish space lasers were real", ">\n\n*meowish space lasers", ">\n\nHey that's racist", ">\n\nI think it would be cheaper to buy a calendar than use the ink/toner required to print it.", ">\n\nThat's why you print it at work.", ">\n\nhaha true, oh wait I work from home...", ">\n\nIf you print from home for work you can write printer supplies off on your taxes :)", ">\n\nUh yes boss I needed a calendar, so… oh what? Use the company one? Ummm but the US army has a really nice one and I thought I’d be patriotic - what? Oh, yeah I know we’re in Canada, I just…", ">\n\nPortland is pretty much wannabe Vancouver, BC. I say it goes!", ">\n\nExactly what a Canadian would say...", ">\n\nGoodies, goodie goodie, yum yum.", ">\n\nI just scrolled until I found The Goodies reference but was wondering if I was going to find one at all.", ">\n\nIt's way down the list, isn't it? \n/knees hurt.", ">\n\nOw, my back! Get off my lawn!", ">\n\nOne engineer did it in his free time, and released it for use through the corps. \nThis was NOT government funded.", ">\n\nEven if it was government funded, I support this.", ">\n\nEven if it was government funded it would've been like maybe one day of pay at most? Not a ton for the amount of publicity they'll get that might make them even more money.", ">\n\nAssuming they already have the infrastructure pictures I would be surprised if it took more than 4 work hours. Also for chronically underfunded agencies that kind of PR is exactly how you get voters to convince the politicians to increase funds. I look forward to NASA figuring out how to photoshop giant cats playing with the planets like balls of yarn for their calendar", ">\n\n\nI look forward to NASA figuring out how to photoshop giant cats playing with the planets like balls of yarn for their calendar \n\nWell let me introduce you to the most bizarre social media messaging from an official U.S. government agency: The U.S. Consumer Product Safety Commission's Instagram feed. \nAnd before I catch any \"there's no way this is real\" replies, here's the Washington Post covering it: \n\nHow a federal bureaucrat uses astronaut babies and dogs riding pigeons to try to save your life", ">\n\nThis is rad!", ">\n\nCISA losing their shit rn", ">\n\nI would like one.", ">\n\nIt's a free PDF.", ">\n\nNo he would like one of the cats", ">\n\nyOu wOuLdN'T DoWnloAd a cAT", ">\n\nI can’t believe they included Sherlock getting knocked off a cliff. At least he didn’t jump this time.", ">\n\nI'm shocked that you're the only person I've seen comment on this so far! it's hilarious", ">\n\n\"Every year, dozens of cats attack important infrastructure for our country causing dozens of dollars of damage. Won't you help?\"", ">\n\nI heard this with Sarah McLoughlin's voice", ">\n\nArmy Cats", ">\n\nNow do it with pictures of our crumbling infrastructure.", ">\n\nThis seems like one of those things that is somehow going to age poorly given our Universe's current sense of irony. I don't know how exactly, but there's going to be some mass tragedy involving cats and a suspension bridge or something this year.", ">\n\nThe first image kind of reads like \"this infrastructure is super important so don't damage it\". The calendar almost seems like a shopping list for domestic terrorists or something lol.", ">\n\nI mean, pretty obvious that dams, substations, bridges and the like are good targets for chaos. Google maps gives you all this plus Police stations and everything, with photos and the address. Useless to worry about it", ">\n\nSeriously, anyone who unironicly think terrorists were waiting for a cat calendar to list a bunch of locations to bomb is paranoid about the wrong things.", ">\n\nCats would hunt and eat us if they were bigger than us", ">\n\nThey already do, they are called Tigers.", ">\n\nIf there were smaller tigers, we would keep them as pets, but they'd break all our stuff to prove they're still in charge.", ">\n\nThey already do, they are called Cats.", ">\n\nOH MY GOD!", ">\n\nMy tabby is a cute little tiger", ">\n\nI knew we had infrastructure challenges, but I didn't realize we were facing an infrastructure cat-astrophe!", ">\n\nTake my r/angryupvote", ">\n\nI love how shitty the photoshop is. Really ties it all together", ">\n\nYeah I like the idea--but the pictures chosen and color grading are all off. I'd like this idea better executed more professionally.", ">\n\nOh no I'm serious. The unprofessionalism is the best part. I would absolutely pay money for this", ">\n\nOnly only thing weirder is gonna be their crazy ass plan to save the infrastructure.", ">\n\nIt's the engineer Corp, they can build giant cat carriers.", ">\n\nI guess anything beats the 40 million they spend on viagra to keep the soldiers saluting.", ">\n\nThis is delightful", ">\n\ni was imagining mountain lions breaking in to dumpsters or something, not giant house cats gnawing on substations, not disappointed.", ">\n\nI don’t need a calendar now that our pocket rectangles handle all of that for us, but I really want this calendar.", ">\n\nIt is really convenient to just walk by my schedule versus having to pull it up, scroll, click and expand. I tend to forget about things if I don’t see it in front of me, but that’s just how my brain works. Plus if you’re on the phone trying to schedule something it’s nice to write it out too.", ">\n\nI'm sorry, we're already booked for giant spiders.", ">\n\nI personally kinda love this.", ">\n\nBest use of a miniscule amount of our tax dollars in the entire US $1.7T budget. US Army Corp wins the internet today!", ">\n\nHonestly, the entire army corps of engineers may be one of highest rates of return on public good vs funding", ">\n\nSeriously. They do a shit ton of quality and important public work on a relatively shoe-string budget for engineering. I have a lot of respect for the people that work at the USACOE.", ">\n\nSeptember, now that one is art", ">\n\nHaters will say it's Photoshop.", ">\n\nThey’ve never seen Catzilla.", ">\n\nHero of the Week! Hail yourself!", ">\n\nThere it is!", ">\n\n\nThe Army Corps Of Engineers Has Released a 2023 Calendar Of Giant Cats Attacking <\n\nr/brand new sentence \nAlso, giant cats attacking infrastructure is so 2020. In 2023 it just sounds silly.", ">\n\nSeptember ❤️", ">\n\nOmg. I love this. Especially the text blurbs on the pictures. Very funny and adorable!", ">\n\nSounds like they understand cats are required if you want social media traction", ">\n\nI have never wanted to buy a calendar more than I do now!", ">\n\nOn the one hand, I applaud the idea.\nOn the other hand, the photoshop skills look like they came from the army corps of engineers.", ">\n\nWould you actually want them to look like they were perfectly matched to each environment? I'm pretty sure the comedic effect is all that matters here.\nAnd besides, it was just one engineer that created this on their spare time, rather than an official ACE production.", ">\n\nI was mainly being a bit snarky because the internet. That, and what I said was objectively true.", ">\n\nCan confirm, the Corps of Engineers fuckkkkks", ">\n\nGoddammit I just bought my 2023 calendar too lol", ">\n\nThat’s cute though, not worrisome like a lot of other r/nottheonion posts.", ">\n\nAs ever, the Army Corps of Engineers are the one branch of the US state that can get the important shit done", ">\n\nFrom the comments ITT it's evident that most people are unaware of how important they are to the lives of the majority of productive people in this country (people who live near a coastline or a major body of water). It's not just dams and rivers, it's the actual physical coastline of america that they look after.", ">\n\nYup, it seems double edged- people think oh, they're the army corps and assumes they must be doing only military stuff. But equally if it was civilianised no doubt it'd be a target for cuts. An incredible org, regardless. And whether it's cats or weather or warming or the collapse of neglected infrastructure they're going to get more and more important so it's a damn good thing they exist because in 2023, nobody would invent them...", ">\n\nUSACE is an agency that is funded by the DOD but is vastly ran by civilians. There are very few enlisted or commissioned people in the army corps.", ">\n\nOK this is a thing and this is awesome", ">\n\nOops, I had \"Zombie Redneck Torture Family\" in the betting pool.", ">\n\nGrumble. Never gonna see a merman...", ">\n\nUSACE Portland District is one of the absolute best public sector social media presences out there. Seriously. Check it out.", ">\n\nCats in military pictures is an entire IG channel", ">\n\nGood boot", ">\n\nCommand team must be TDY", ">\n\nThat was even better than the title made me think it would be.", ">\n\nI support my tax dollars going to causes such as this.", ">\n\nFinally tax dollars doing something good", ">\n\nI’m kind of disappointed. From the title, I thought there would be photos of actual big cats attacking infrastructure, not photoshopped domestic cats. Anyone have a photo of a puma going after an electrical substation? Or a tiger gnawing on a water line?", ">\n\nNo. No one has that. Would be very interesting though to compile a calendar like that. Peace brother.", ">\n\nGreat, now I need a color printer.\nSeriously, thank you u/radioman8414!", ">\n\nThis is how I want my tax money spent. Downloaded and put up in my office!", ">\n\nThe regional social media guy who put this together is constantly hilarious", ">\n\nGreatest calendar of 2023.", ">\n\nI need one of these for my office! I've worked on some of these dams!", ">\n\nCan I ask you some dam questions?? I’m sure you know a lot of dam information. I’m sure all of us would love some dam stories. Thank you.", ">\n\nSure way to have a more interesting calendar than just infrastructure.", ">\n\nI would so adopt one if they existed.", ">\n\nI've heard army corps of engineers are very difficult to house train. May want to consider before adopting one.", ">\n\nTouché.", ">\n\nThat's amazing, thank you for posting it!", ">\n\nIs there anywhere to buy a nice physical copy of the calendar?", ">\n\nThose cats are mind-controlled by taxoplasmosis alien ameobas!", ">\n\nI was thinking this was gonna be mountain lions taking out maintenance huts or something like that. This is so much better", ">\n\nI’m the daughter of a former Portland, Oregon, US Army Corps Engineer, and I can confirm they are a strange crew. It makes me view the dams on the Columbia River fondly?", ">\n\nI love this so much.", ">\n\nDude. Awesome.", ">\n\nI love this! My astronomy teacher once did a talk on space cats. It was hysterical. Out of the blue he showed us pictures of space with cats added in. He felt we needed a fun class for laughs. I want this calendar.", ">\n\nThis would be really cool if they got a decent digital artist. But they didn't, they used photoshop about as well as I can.", ">\n\nI think that adds to the charm", ">\n\nDon't even need to see it, where can I buy it", ">\n\nFrom the link - \"Because the Army Corps is a Government Agency, the calendar is in public domain and totally free to download and print\"", ">\n\nThis is so funny, because it’s my Dad’s old workplace (from 1971 until he retired). My father, however, has zero sense of humor so he’d never work on something like this.", ">\n\nI met a guy from the Army Corps of Engineers when I worked for the EPA. Smartest guy I've ever met and the 2nd most hippe like person I've ever met. I'd like to think he had something to do with this idea.", ">\n\nFinally the massive military budget of the US is put to good use.", ">\n\nThis is awesome. I might have to buy one.", ">\n\nNo need. It's free, though you have to print it yourself if you want a physical copy", ">\n\nThis is so adorable! I approve wholeheartedly.", ">\n\nIt's about time.", ">\n\nSappers lead the way", ">\n\nI have so much love for this.", ">\n\nEhisssayons.", ">\n\nLove it.", ">\n\nUnintended benefits of relaxed Marijuana policies :)", ">\n\nUsace has not relaxed cannabis policies. No federal agency has", ">\n\nThey certainly have relaxed policy, even though federal law hasn't changed. It's legal in my state and the current administration has announced they won't be pursuing user level Marijuana charges at the federal level.\nWake up.", ">\n\nUSACE still falls under the same policies as the rest of the army. They're treated as DA civilians, and subject to periodic biochemical testing and the resultant consequences if they pee hot. The army has, and will not in the foreseeable future, relax any policy regarding marijuana.", ">\n\nAdorable idea; wish they had hired someone better at photoshop", ">\n\nIts a free gag calendar that was probably just put together by someone for fun in their spare time. Considering the state of infrastructure in the US I don't imagine the Corps of Engineers has a lot of extra spending money to throw around", ">\n\nIf they were smart, they would print it for us and sell it. I don't want a crappy calender that I printed on regular paper, I want the real thing and I would be glad to pay for it.", ">\n\nGenius!! This needs to be a trend. Reddit, make it so...", ">\n\nfuck yeah we finally gonna balance the budget", ">\n\nDecember's hilarious. I want this calender.", ">\n\nYou can totally tell that this is not real. The lighting on the cats is so obviously different than the environmental mistake. Pathetic effort infrastructure geeks.", ">\n\nSo they can blame cats for shoddy workmanship and lax maintenance.", ">\n\nDon't capitalize \"Of\" in titles", ">\n\nWish they'd focus on not taking eight years to permit a fucking project, those lazy excuses for engineers.", ">\n\nYou’re crazy dude. These peeps have built some amazing things. Extremely impressive.", ">\n\nThey used to.", ">\n\n😂", ">\n\nThis whole absurd thing is exactly my sense of humour. LOVE it.", ">\n\nOregon! I've seen the one at Detroit Dam. Sneaky bugger. Hangs out with Bigfoot.", ">\n\nI need this", ">\n\nThat's some adorable terrorism right there.", ">\n\nI remember seeing them, on quad bikes, with a lot of equipment, on Myrtle Beach beaches, I always wondered what they were doing...", ">\n\nI love this sequel to Beginning of the End!", ">\n\nIs there a way I can buy a physical version?", ">\n\nThey're Demo-cats!", ">\n\nAny recommendations of the best way to get this printed semi-professionally? I tried checking Costco photo centre but they make you use a template.", ">\n\nOf course it’s Portland.", ">\n\nKind of disappointing I can't actually buy a printed one. My daughter would love this.", ">\n\nA pretty good idea for a poster. Who doesn't like cats being cats?", ">\n\nI really wish I had become a part of the ACOE but my mother didn't want her only son in the military.", ">\n\nUsace has civilian positions you're employed by the army, but you don't go through basic", ">\n\nI hope they pay more than Nidec.", ">\n\nThanks for sharing! Downloaded and got my new Lock Screen wallpaper.", ">\n\nDecember is 🔥", ">\n\nObligatory Cat Dynamics", ">\n\nPoliticians will say this is the proof of the REAL reason of why our infrastructure is deteriorating, then vote in a measure to hire their friends and family to counter this threat.", ">\n\nI didnt know cats were domestic terrorists like Republicans. lol", ">\n\nThis is the only kind of apocalypse I could see myself getting excited about.", ">\n\nAugust a missed opportunity to have CAT Excavators.", ">\n\nYou have my attention.", ">\n\nSmart move", ">\n\nGod help us.", ">\n\nBest thing to come out of the Army post WWII.", ">\n\n🤔", ">\n\n\"Let's write a two paragraph article about something freely available on the internet and make absolutely no attempt to actually tell you where to find it\".", ">\n\nCatjira!", ">\n\nhilarious!", ">\n\nFinally", ">\n\nThis is the oniony-est story I’ve seen on here in a while", ">\n\nCant wait for the next spending bill to include cat proofing our infrastructure", ">\n\nHonestly… I’d buy it.", ">\n\nWish I would have heard of that in November or so. This seems unique, fun and a great idea for a calendar.", ">\n\nI heard about this from Last Podcast on the Left, glad to see it pop up on my feed with pictures!", ">\n\nI'm gonna need an NSN For that...", ">\n\nOf course it’s the Portland District", ">\n\nHonestly this is worth buying", ">\n\nIm not a cat person, but I would buy the calendar.", ">\n\nAny way to view the album without losing my mind on that website? God it's shit on mobile.", ">\n\nI especially love how June just looks like a well framed optical illusion photo.", ">\n\nThis is cute and all, but man, it seems a little poor in taste that August is a kitty-shaped military drone blowing up an Iraqi preschool", ">\n\nWhat did Oregon do to deserve this", ">\n\nGee I read that and instantly I thought they had done a study and released an estimated calendar of when an where giant cats would attack infrastructure in 2023. Phew.", ">\n\nOn that day, humanity received a grim reminder…", ">\n\nah yes\nPortland keeping it weird again", ">\n\nit’s cute, but who wrote the copy?", ">\n\nAmazing", ">\n\neverything changed when the cat nation attacked", ">\n\nI'm into it", ">\n\nnow this is what I want my tax dollars going towards", ">\n\nI'd love to believe that there was some huge misunderstanding and somewhere someone had actually meant CATs like the company with the big heavy machinery", ">\n\nThe word \"attacking\" is doing a lot of work here" ]

[ "Imagine the work order. \nYour boss comes to you and says, \"Hey, you're in charge of the cats calendar.\"\n\"What calendar?\"\n\"The one with cats attacking infrastructure?\"\n\"What?\"", ">\n\nyou miss ONE day...", ">\n\nHail Vectron!", ">\n\nBy Vectron!", ">\n\nFor those yet to experience the holy might of Vectron's kindly claw", ">\n\nThank you. I had no idea.", ">\n\nYou are most welcome by Vectron", ">\n\nFor the love of all that is Vectron, your speech warms my Vectronic heart.", ">\n\nMay Vectron’s beard shed its benevolence upon us. 🙏🏻🙏🏻", ">\n\nAnd may all of his correspondence to us be sent Vectronically. So it is written, so shall it be done.", ">\n\nI live in Oregon and started to recognize a bunch of the dams, so I was like, “huh, that’s kinda cool.” Then I saw the text at the bottom of the first page. Portland District. Now a cat calendar makes perfect sense.", ">\n\nSame thing happened to me. I think I'm going to head to kinko's and have them print it out for me.", ">\n\nTell them you need to print some important official military documents before you show them what it is", ">\n\nDon’t forget to tell them you need it right meow!", ">\n\nWho will protect our infrastructure from this menace?", ">\n\nAn array of laser pointers.", ">\n\ncut to giant laser pointer satellite", ">\n\nomigod the jewish space lasers were real", ">\n\n*meowish space lasers", ">\n\nHey that's racist", ">\n\nI think it would be cheaper to buy a calendar than use the ink/toner required to print it.", ">\n\nThat's why you print it at work.", ">\n\nhaha true, oh wait I work from home...", ">\n\nIf you print from home for work you can write printer supplies off on your taxes :)", ">\n\nUh yes boss I needed a calendar, so… oh what? Use the company one? Ummm but the US army has a really nice one and I thought I’d be patriotic - what? Oh, yeah I know we’re in Canada, I just…", ">\n\nPortland is pretty much wannabe Vancouver, BC. I say it goes!", ">\n\nExactly what a Canadian would say...", ">\n\nGoodies, goodie goodie, yum yum.", ">\n\nI just scrolled until I found The Goodies reference but was wondering if I was going to find one at all.", ">\n\nIt's way down the list, isn't it? \n/knees hurt.", ">\n\nOw, my back! Get off my lawn!", ">\n\nOne engineer did it in his free time, and released it for use through the corps. \nThis was NOT government funded.", ">\n\nEven if it was government funded, I support this.", ">\n\nEven if it was government funded it would've been like maybe one day of pay at most? Not a ton for the amount of publicity they'll get that might make them even more money.", ">\n\nAssuming they already have the infrastructure pictures I would be surprised if it took more than 4 work hours. Also for chronically underfunded agencies that kind of PR is exactly how you get voters to convince the politicians to increase funds. I look forward to NASA figuring out how to photoshop giant cats playing with the planets like balls of yarn for their calendar", ">\n\n\nI look forward to NASA figuring out how to photoshop giant cats playing with the planets like balls of yarn for their calendar \n\nWell let me introduce you to the most bizarre social media messaging from an official U.S. government agency: The U.S. Consumer Product Safety Commission's Instagram feed. \nAnd before I catch any \"there's no way this is real\" replies, here's the Washington Post covering it: \n\nHow a federal bureaucrat uses astronaut babies and dogs riding pigeons to try to save your life", ">\n\nThis is rad!", ">\n\nCISA losing their shit rn", ">\n\nI would like one.", ">\n\nIt's a free PDF.", ">\n\nNo he would like one of the cats", ">\n\nyOu wOuLdN'T DoWnloAd a cAT", ">\n\nI can’t believe they included Sherlock getting knocked off a cliff. At least he didn’t jump this time.", ">\n\nI'm shocked that you're the only person I've seen comment on this so far! it's hilarious", ">\n\n\"Every year, dozens of cats attack important infrastructure for our country causing dozens of dollars of damage. Won't you help?\"", ">\n\nI heard this with Sarah McLoughlin's voice", ">\n\nArmy Cats", ">\n\nNow do it with pictures of our crumbling infrastructure.", ">\n\nThis seems like one of those things that is somehow going to age poorly given our Universe's current sense of irony. I don't know how exactly, but there's going to be some mass tragedy involving cats and a suspension bridge or something this year.", ">\n\nThe first image kind of reads like \"this infrastructure is super important so don't damage it\". The calendar almost seems like a shopping list for domestic terrorists or something lol.", ">\n\nI mean, pretty obvious that dams, substations, bridges and the like are good targets for chaos. Google maps gives you all this plus Police stations and everything, with photos and the address. Useless to worry about it", ">\n\nSeriously, anyone who unironicly think terrorists were waiting for a cat calendar to list a bunch of locations to bomb is paranoid about the wrong things.", ">\n\nCats would hunt and eat us if they were bigger than us", ">\n\nThey already do, they are called Tigers.", ">\n\nIf there were smaller tigers, we would keep them as pets, but they'd break all our stuff to prove they're still in charge.", ">\n\nThey already do, they are called Cats.", ">\n\nOH MY GOD!", ">\n\nMy tabby is a cute little tiger", ">\n\nI knew we had infrastructure challenges, but I didn't realize we were facing an infrastructure cat-astrophe!", ">\n\nTake my r/angryupvote", ">\n\nI love how shitty the photoshop is. Really ties it all together", ">\n\nYeah I like the idea--but the pictures chosen and color grading are all off. I'd like this idea better executed more professionally.", ">\n\nOh no I'm serious. The unprofessionalism is the best part. I would absolutely pay money for this", ">\n\nOnly only thing weirder is gonna be their crazy ass plan to save the infrastructure.", ">\n\nIt's the engineer Corp, they can build giant cat carriers.", ">\n\nI guess anything beats the 40 million they spend on viagra to keep the soldiers saluting.", ">\n\nThis is delightful", ">\n\ni was imagining mountain lions breaking in to dumpsters or something, not giant house cats gnawing on substations, not disappointed.", ">\n\nI don’t need a calendar now that our pocket rectangles handle all of that for us, but I really want this calendar.", ">\n\nIt is really convenient to just walk by my schedule versus having to pull it up, scroll, click and expand. I tend to forget about things if I don’t see it in front of me, but that’s just how my brain works. Plus if you’re on the phone trying to schedule something it’s nice to write it out too.", ">\n\nI'm sorry, we're already booked for giant spiders.", ">\n\nI personally kinda love this.", ">\n\nBest use of a miniscule amount of our tax dollars in the entire US $1.7T budget. US Army Corp wins the internet today!", ">\n\nHonestly, the entire army corps of engineers may be one of highest rates of return on public good vs funding", ">\n\nSeriously. They do a shit ton of quality and important public work on a relatively shoe-string budget for engineering. I have a lot of respect for the people that work at the USACOE.", ">\n\nSeptember, now that one is art", ">\n\nHaters will say it's Photoshop.", ">\n\nThey’ve never seen Catzilla.", ">\n\nHero of the Week! Hail yourself!", ">\n\nThere it is!", ">\n\n\nThe Army Corps Of Engineers Has Released a 2023 Calendar Of Giant Cats Attacking <\n\nr/brand new sentence \nAlso, giant cats attacking infrastructure is so 2020. In 2023 it just sounds silly.", ">\n\nSeptember ❤️", ">\n\nOmg. I love this. Especially the text blurbs on the pictures. Very funny and adorable!", ">\n\nSounds like they understand cats are required if you want social media traction", ">\n\nI have never wanted to buy a calendar more than I do now!", ">\n\nOn the one hand, I applaud the idea.\nOn the other hand, the photoshop skills look like they came from the army corps of engineers.", ">\n\nWould you actually want them to look like they were perfectly matched to each environment? I'm pretty sure the comedic effect is all that matters here.\nAnd besides, it was just one engineer that created this on their spare time, rather than an official ACE production.", ">\n\nI was mainly being a bit snarky because the internet. That, and what I said was objectively true.", ">\n\nCan confirm, the Corps of Engineers fuckkkkks", ">\n\nGoddammit I just bought my 2023 calendar too lol", ">\n\nThat’s cute though, not worrisome like a lot of other r/nottheonion posts.", ">\n\nAs ever, the Army Corps of Engineers are the one branch of the US state that can get the important shit done", ">\n\nFrom the comments ITT it's evident that most people are unaware of how important they are to the lives of the majority of productive people in this country (people who live near a coastline or a major body of water). It's not just dams and rivers, it's the actual physical coastline of america that they look after.", ">\n\nYup, it seems double edged- people think oh, they're the army corps and assumes they must be doing only military stuff. But equally if it was civilianised no doubt it'd be a target for cuts. An incredible org, regardless. And whether it's cats or weather or warming or the collapse of neglected infrastructure they're going to get more and more important so it's a damn good thing they exist because in 2023, nobody would invent them...", ">\n\nUSACE is an agency that is funded by the DOD but is vastly ran by civilians. There are very few enlisted or commissioned people in the army corps.", ">\n\nOK this is a thing and this is awesome", ">\n\nOops, I had \"Zombie Redneck Torture Family\" in the betting pool.", ">\n\nGrumble. Never gonna see a merman...", ">\n\nUSACE Portland District is one of the absolute best public sector social media presences out there. Seriously. Check it out.", ">\n\nCats in military pictures is an entire IG channel", ">\n\nGood boot", ">\n\nCommand team must be TDY", ">\n\nThat was even better than the title made me think it would be.", ">\n\nI support my tax dollars going to causes such as this.", ">\n\nFinally tax dollars doing something good", ">\n\nI’m kind of disappointed. From the title, I thought there would be photos of actual big cats attacking infrastructure, not photoshopped domestic cats. Anyone have a photo of a puma going after an electrical substation? Or a tiger gnawing on a water line?", ">\n\nNo. No one has that. Would be very interesting though to compile a calendar like that. Peace brother.", ">\n\nGreat, now I need a color printer.\nSeriously, thank you u/radioman8414!", ">\n\nThis is how I want my tax money spent. Downloaded and put up in my office!", ">\n\nThe regional social media guy who put this together is constantly hilarious", ">\n\nGreatest calendar of 2023.", ">\n\nI need one of these for my office! I've worked on some of these dams!", ">\n\nCan I ask you some dam questions?? I’m sure you know a lot of dam information. I’m sure all of us would love some dam stories. Thank you.", ">\n\nSure way to have a more interesting calendar than just infrastructure.", ">\n\nI would so adopt one if they existed.", ">\n\nI've heard army corps of engineers are very difficult to house train. May want to consider before adopting one.", ">\n\nTouché.", ">\n\nThat's amazing, thank you for posting it!", ">\n\nIs there anywhere to buy a nice physical copy of the calendar?", ">\n\nThose cats are mind-controlled by taxoplasmosis alien ameobas!", ">\n\nI was thinking this was gonna be mountain lions taking out maintenance huts or something like that. This is so much better", ">\n\nI’m the daughter of a former Portland, Oregon, US Army Corps Engineer, and I can confirm they are a strange crew. It makes me view the dams on the Columbia River fondly?", ">\n\nI love this so much.", ">\n\nDude. Awesome.", ">\n\nI love this! My astronomy teacher once did a talk on space cats. It was hysterical. Out of the blue he showed us pictures of space with cats added in. He felt we needed a fun class for laughs. I want this calendar.", ">\n\nThis would be really cool if they got a decent digital artist. But they didn't, they used photoshop about as well as I can.", ">\n\nI think that adds to the charm", ">\n\nDon't even need to see it, where can I buy it", ">\n\nFrom the link - \"Because the Army Corps is a Government Agency, the calendar is in public domain and totally free to download and print\"", ">\n\nThis is so funny, because it’s my Dad’s old workplace (from 1971 until he retired). My father, however, has zero sense of humor so he’d never work on something like this.", ">\n\nI met a guy from the Army Corps of Engineers when I worked for the EPA. Smartest guy I've ever met and the 2nd most hippe like person I've ever met. I'd like to think he had something to do with this idea.", ">\n\nFinally the massive military budget of the US is put to good use.", ">\n\nThis is awesome. I might have to buy one.", ">\n\nNo need. It's free, though you have to print it yourself if you want a physical copy", ">\n\nThis is so adorable! I approve wholeheartedly.", ">\n\nIt's about time.", ">\n\nSappers lead the way", ">\n\nI have so much love for this.", ">\n\nEhisssayons.", ">\n\nLove it.", ">\n\nUnintended benefits of relaxed Marijuana policies :)", ">\n\nUsace has not relaxed cannabis policies. No federal agency has", ">\n\nThey certainly have relaxed policy, even though federal law hasn't changed. It's legal in my state and the current administration has announced they won't be pursuing user level Marijuana charges at the federal level.\nWake up.", ">\n\nUSACE still falls under the same policies as the rest of the army. They're treated as DA civilians, and subject to periodic biochemical testing and the resultant consequences if they pee hot. The army has, and will not in the foreseeable future, relax any policy regarding marijuana.", ">\n\nAdorable idea; wish they had hired someone better at photoshop", ">\n\nIts a free gag calendar that was probably just put together by someone for fun in their spare time. Considering the state of infrastructure in the US I don't imagine the Corps of Engineers has a lot of extra spending money to throw around", ">\n\nIf they were smart, they would print it for us and sell it. I don't want a crappy calender that I printed on regular paper, I want the real thing and I would be glad to pay for it.", ">\n\nGenius!! This needs to be a trend. Reddit, make it so...", ">\n\nfuck yeah we finally gonna balance the budget", ">\n\nDecember's hilarious. I want this calender.", ">\n\nYou can totally tell that this is not real. The lighting on the cats is so obviously different than the environmental mistake. Pathetic effort infrastructure geeks.", ">\n\nSo they can blame cats for shoddy workmanship and lax maintenance.", ">\n\nDon't capitalize \"Of\" in titles", ">\n\nWish they'd focus on not taking eight years to permit a fucking project, those lazy excuses for engineers.", ">\n\nYou’re crazy dude. These peeps have built some amazing things. Extremely impressive.", ">\n\nThey used to.", ">\n\n😂", ">\n\nThis whole absurd thing is exactly my sense of humour. LOVE it.", ">\n\nOregon! I've seen the one at Detroit Dam. Sneaky bugger. Hangs out with Bigfoot.", ">\n\nI need this", ">\n\nThat's some adorable terrorism right there.", ">\n\nI remember seeing them, on quad bikes, with a lot of equipment, on Myrtle Beach beaches, I always wondered what they were doing...", ">\n\nI love this sequel to Beginning of the End!", ">\n\nIs there a way I can buy a physical version?", ">\n\nThey're Demo-cats!", ">\n\nAny recommendations of the best way to get this printed semi-professionally? I tried checking Costco photo centre but they make you use a template.", ">\n\nOf course it’s Portland.", ">\n\nKind of disappointing I can't actually buy a printed one. My daughter would love this.", ">\n\nA pretty good idea for a poster. Who doesn't like cats being cats?", ">\n\nI really wish I had become a part of the ACOE but my mother didn't want her only son in the military.", ">\n\nUsace has civilian positions you're employed by the army, but you don't go through basic", ">\n\nI hope they pay more than Nidec.", ">\n\nThanks for sharing! Downloaded and got my new Lock Screen wallpaper.", ">\n\nDecember is 🔥", ">\n\nObligatory Cat Dynamics", ">\n\nPoliticians will say this is the proof of the REAL reason of why our infrastructure is deteriorating, then vote in a measure to hire their friends and family to counter this threat.", ">\n\nI didnt know cats were domestic terrorists like Republicans. lol", ">\n\nThis is the only kind of apocalypse I could see myself getting excited about.", ">\n\nAugust a missed opportunity to have CAT Excavators.", ">\n\nYou have my attention.", ">\n\nSmart move", ">\n\nGod help us.", ">\n\nBest thing to come out of the Army post WWII.", ">\n\n🤔", ">\n\n\"Let's write a two paragraph article about something freely available on the internet and make absolutely no attempt to actually tell you where to find it\".", ">\n\nCatjira!", ">\n\nhilarious!", ">\n\nFinally", ">\n\nThis is the oniony-est story I’ve seen on here in a while", ">\n\nCant wait for the next spending bill to include cat proofing our infrastructure", ">\n\nHonestly… I’d buy it.", ">\n\nWish I would have heard of that in November or so. This seems unique, fun and a great idea for a calendar.", ">\n\nI heard about this from Last Podcast on the Left, glad to see it pop up on my feed with pictures!", ">\n\nI'm gonna need an NSN For that...", ">\n\nOf course it’s the Portland District", ">\n\nHonestly this is worth buying", ">\n\nIm not a cat person, but I would buy the calendar.", ">\n\nAny way to view the album without losing my mind on that website? God it's shit on mobile.", ">\n\nI especially love how June just looks like a well framed optical illusion photo.", ">\n\nThis is cute and all, but man, it seems a little poor in taste that August is a kitty-shaped military drone blowing up an Iraqi preschool", ">\n\nWhat did Oregon do to deserve this", ">\n\nGee I read that and instantly I thought they had done a study and released an estimated calendar of when an where giant cats would attack infrastructure in 2023. Phew.", ">\n\nOn that day, humanity received a grim reminder…", ">\n\nah yes\nPortland keeping it weird again", ">\n\nit’s cute, but who wrote the copy?", ">\n\nAmazing", ">\n\neverything changed when the cat nation attacked", ">\n\nI'm into it", ">\n\nnow this is what I want my tax dollars going towards", ">\n\nI'd love to believe that there was some huge misunderstanding and somewhere someone had actually meant CATs like the company with the big heavy machinery", ">\n\nThe word \"attacking\" is doing a lot of work here", ">\n\nW" ]

[ "Imagine the work order. \nYour boss comes to you and says, \"Hey, you're in charge of the cats calendar.\"\n\"What calendar?\"\n\"The one with cats attacking infrastructure?\"\n\"What?\"", ">\n\nyou miss ONE day...", ">\n\nHail Vectron!", ">\n\nBy Vectron!", ">\n\nFor those yet to experience the holy might of Vectron's kindly claw", ">\n\nThank you. I had no idea.", ">\n\nYou are most welcome by Vectron", ">\n\nFor the love of all that is Vectron, your speech warms my Vectronic heart.", ">\n\nMay Vectron’s beard shed its benevolence upon us. 🙏🏻🙏🏻", ">\n\nAnd may all of his correspondence to us be sent Vectronically. So it is written, so shall it be done.", ">\n\nI live in Oregon and started to recognize a bunch of the dams, so I was like, “huh, that’s kinda cool.” Then I saw the text at the bottom of the first page. Portland District. Now a cat calendar makes perfect sense.", ">\n\nSame thing happened to me. I think I'm going to head to kinko's and have them print it out for me.", ">\n\nTell them you need to print some important official military documents before you show them what it is", ">\n\nDon’t forget to tell them you need it right meow!", ">\n\nWho will protect our infrastructure from this menace?", ">\n\nAn array of laser pointers.", ">\n\ncut to giant laser pointer satellite", ">\n\nomigod the jewish space lasers were real", ">\n\n*meowish space lasers", ">\n\nHey that's racist", ">\n\nI think it would be cheaper to buy a calendar than use the ink/toner required to print it.", ">\n\nThat's why you print it at work.", ">\n\nhaha true, oh wait I work from home...", ">\n\nIf you print from home for work you can write printer supplies off on your taxes :)", ">\n\nUh yes boss I needed a calendar, so… oh what? Use the company one? Ummm but the US army has a really nice one and I thought I’d be patriotic - what? Oh, yeah I know we’re in Canada, I just…", ">\n\nPortland is pretty much wannabe Vancouver, BC. I say it goes!", ">\n\nExactly what a Canadian would say...", ">\n\nGoodies, goodie goodie, yum yum.", ">\n\nI just scrolled until I found The Goodies reference but was wondering if I was going to find one at all.", ">\n\nIt's way down the list, isn't it? \n/knees hurt.", ">\n\nOw, my back! Get off my lawn!", ">\n\nOne engineer did it in his free time, and released it for use through the corps. \nThis was NOT government funded.", ">\n\nEven if it was government funded, I support this.", ">\n\nEven if it was government funded it would've been like maybe one day of pay at most? Not a ton for the amount of publicity they'll get that might make them even more money.", ">\n\nAssuming they already have the infrastructure pictures I would be surprised if it took more than 4 work hours. Also for chronically underfunded agencies that kind of PR is exactly how you get voters to convince the politicians to increase funds. I look forward to NASA figuring out how to photoshop giant cats playing with the planets like balls of yarn for their calendar", ">\n\n\nI look forward to NASA figuring out how to photoshop giant cats playing with the planets like balls of yarn for their calendar \n\nWell let me introduce you to the most bizarre social media messaging from an official U.S. government agency: The U.S. Consumer Product Safety Commission's Instagram feed. \nAnd before I catch any \"there's no way this is real\" replies, here's the Washington Post covering it: \n\nHow a federal bureaucrat uses astronaut babies and dogs riding pigeons to try to save your life", ">\n\nThis is rad!", ">\n\nCISA losing their shit rn", ">\n\nI would like one.", ">\n\nIt's a free PDF.", ">\n\nNo he would like one of the cats", ">\n\nyOu wOuLdN'T DoWnloAd a cAT", ">\n\nI can’t believe they included Sherlock getting knocked off a cliff. At least he didn’t jump this time.", ">\n\nI'm shocked that you're the only person I've seen comment on this so far! it's hilarious", ">\n\n\"Every year, dozens of cats attack important infrastructure for our country causing dozens of dollars of damage. Won't you help?\"", ">\n\nI heard this with Sarah McLoughlin's voice", ">\n\nArmy Cats", ">\n\nNow do it with pictures of our crumbling infrastructure.", ">\n\nThis seems like one of those things that is somehow going to age poorly given our Universe's current sense of irony. I don't know how exactly, but there's going to be some mass tragedy involving cats and a suspension bridge or something this year.", ">\n\nThe first image kind of reads like \"this infrastructure is super important so don't damage it\". The calendar almost seems like a shopping list for domestic terrorists or something lol.", ">\n\nI mean, pretty obvious that dams, substations, bridges and the like are good targets for chaos. Google maps gives you all this plus Police stations and everything, with photos and the address. Useless to worry about it", ">\n\nSeriously, anyone who unironicly think terrorists were waiting for a cat calendar to list a bunch of locations to bomb is paranoid about the wrong things.", ">\n\nCats would hunt and eat us if they were bigger than us", ">\n\nThey already do, they are called Tigers.", ">\n\nIf there were smaller tigers, we would keep them as pets, but they'd break all our stuff to prove they're still in charge.", ">\n\nThey already do, they are called Cats.", ">\n\nOH MY GOD!", ">\n\nMy tabby is a cute little tiger", ">\n\nI knew we had infrastructure challenges, but I didn't realize we were facing an infrastructure cat-astrophe!", ">\n\nTake my r/angryupvote", ">\n\nI love how shitty the photoshop is. Really ties it all together", ">\n\nYeah I like the idea--but the pictures chosen and color grading are all off. I'd like this idea better executed more professionally.", ">\n\nOh no I'm serious. The unprofessionalism is the best part. I would absolutely pay money for this", ">\n\nOnly only thing weirder is gonna be their crazy ass plan to save the infrastructure.", ">\n\nIt's the engineer Corp, they can build giant cat carriers.", ">\n\nI guess anything beats the 40 million they spend on viagra to keep the soldiers saluting.", ">\n\nThis is delightful", ">\n\ni was imagining mountain lions breaking in to dumpsters or something, not giant house cats gnawing on substations, not disappointed.", ">\n\nI don’t need a calendar now that our pocket rectangles handle all of that for us, but I really want this calendar.", ">\n\nIt is really convenient to just walk by my schedule versus having to pull it up, scroll, click and expand. I tend to forget about things if I don’t see it in front of me, but that’s just how my brain works. Plus if you’re on the phone trying to schedule something it’s nice to write it out too.", ">\n\nI'm sorry, we're already booked for giant spiders.", ">\n\nI personally kinda love this.", ">\n\nBest use of a miniscule amount of our tax dollars in the entire US $1.7T budget. US Army Corp wins the internet today!", ">\n\nHonestly, the entire army corps of engineers may be one of highest rates of return on public good vs funding", ">\n\nSeriously. They do a shit ton of quality and important public work on a relatively shoe-string budget for engineering. I have a lot of respect for the people that work at the USACOE.", ">\n\nSeptember, now that one is art", ">\n\nHaters will say it's Photoshop.", ">\n\nThey’ve never seen Catzilla.", ">\n\nHero of the Week! Hail yourself!", ">\n\nThere it is!", ">\n\n\nThe Army Corps Of Engineers Has Released a 2023 Calendar Of Giant Cats Attacking <\n\nr/brand new sentence \nAlso, giant cats attacking infrastructure is so 2020. In 2023 it just sounds silly.", ">\n\nSeptember ❤️", ">\n\nOmg. I love this. Especially the text blurbs on the pictures. Very funny and adorable!", ">\n\nSounds like they understand cats are required if you want social media traction", ">\n\nI have never wanted to buy a calendar more than I do now!", ">\n\nOn the one hand, I applaud the idea.\nOn the other hand, the photoshop skills look like they came from the army corps of engineers.", ">\n\nWould you actually want them to look like they were perfectly matched to each environment? I'm pretty sure the comedic effect is all that matters here.\nAnd besides, it was just one engineer that created this on their spare time, rather than an official ACE production.", ">\n\nI was mainly being a bit snarky because the internet. That, and what I said was objectively true.", ">\n\nCan confirm, the Corps of Engineers fuckkkkks", ">\n\nGoddammit I just bought my 2023 calendar too lol", ">\n\nThat’s cute though, not worrisome like a lot of other r/nottheonion posts.", ">\n\nAs ever, the Army Corps of Engineers are the one branch of the US state that can get the important shit done", ">\n\nFrom the comments ITT it's evident that most people are unaware of how important they are to the lives of the majority of productive people in this country (people who live near a coastline or a major body of water). It's not just dams and rivers, it's the actual physical coastline of america that they look after.", ">\n\nYup, it seems double edged- people think oh, they're the army corps and assumes they must be doing only military stuff. But equally if it was civilianised no doubt it'd be a target for cuts. An incredible org, regardless. And whether it's cats or weather or warming or the collapse of neglected infrastructure they're going to get more and more important so it's a damn good thing they exist because in 2023, nobody would invent them...", ">\n\nUSACE is an agency that is funded by the DOD but is vastly ran by civilians. There are very few enlisted or commissioned people in the army corps.", ">\n\nOK this is a thing and this is awesome", ">\n\nOops, I had \"Zombie Redneck Torture Family\" in the betting pool.", ">\n\nGrumble. Never gonna see a merman...", ">\n\nUSACE Portland District is one of the absolute best public sector social media presences out there. Seriously. Check it out.", ">\n\nCats in military pictures is an entire IG channel", ">\n\nGood boot", ">\n\nCommand team must be TDY", ">\n\nThat was even better than the title made me think it would be.", ">\n\nI support my tax dollars going to causes such as this.", ">\n\nFinally tax dollars doing something good", ">\n\nI’m kind of disappointed. From the title, I thought there would be photos of actual big cats attacking infrastructure, not photoshopped domestic cats. Anyone have a photo of a puma going after an electrical substation? Or a tiger gnawing on a water line?", ">\n\nNo. No one has that. Would be very interesting though to compile a calendar like that. Peace brother.", ">\n\nGreat, now I need a color printer.\nSeriously, thank you u/radioman8414!", ">\n\nThis is how I want my tax money spent. Downloaded and put up in my office!", ">\n\nThe regional social media guy who put this together is constantly hilarious", ">\n\nGreatest calendar of 2023.", ">\n\nI need one of these for my office! I've worked on some of these dams!", ">\n\nCan I ask you some dam questions?? I’m sure you know a lot of dam information. I’m sure all of us would love some dam stories. Thank you.", ">\n\nSure way to have a more interesting calendar than just infrastructure.", ">\n\nI would so adopt one if they existed.", ">\n\nI've heard army corps of engineers are very difficult to house train. May want to consider before adopting one.", ">\n\nTouché.", ">\n\nThat's amazing, thank you for posting it!", ">\n\nIs there anywhere to buy a nice physical copy of the calendar?", ">\n\nThose cats are mind-controlled by taxoplasmosis alien ameobas!", ">\n\nI was thinking this was gonna be mountain lions taking out maintenance huts or something like that. This is so much better", ">\n\nI’m the daughter of a former Portland, Oregon, US Army Corps Engineer, and I can confirm they are a strange crew. It makes me view the dams on the Columbia River fondly?", ">\n\nI love this so much.", ">\n\nDude. Awesome.", ">\n\nI love this! My astronomy teacher once did a talk on space cats. It was hysterical. Out of the blue he showed us pictures of space with cats added in. He felt we needed a fun class for laughs. I want this calendar.", ">\n\nThis would be really cool if they got a decent digital artist. But they didn't, they used photoshop about as well as I can.", ">\n\nI think that adds to the charm", ">\n\nDon't even need to see it, where can I buy it", ">\n\nFrom the link - \"Because the Army Corps is a Government Agency, the calendar is in public domain and totally free to download and print\"", ">\n\nThis is so funny, because it’s my Dad’s old workplace (from 1971 until he retired). My father, however, has zero sense of humor so he’d never work on something like this.", ">\n\nI met a guy from the Army Corps of Engineers when I worked for the EPA. Smartest guy I've ever met and the 2nd most hippe like person I've ever met. I'd like to think he had something to do with this idea.", ">\n\nFinally the massive military budget of the US is put to good use.", ">\n\nThis is awesome. I might have to buy one.", ">\n\nNo need. It's free, though you have to print it yourself if you want a physical copy", ">\n\nThis is so adorable! I approve wholeheartedly.", ">\n\nIt's about time.", ">\n\nSappers lead the way", ">\n\nI have so much love for this.", ">\n\nEhisssayons.", ">\n\nLove it.", ">\n\nUnintended benefits of relaxed Marijuana policies :)", ">\n\nUsace has not relaxed cannabis policies. No federal agency has", ">\n\nThey certainly have relaxed policy, even though federal law hasn't changed. It's legal in my state and the current administration has announced they won't be pursuing user level Marijuana charges at the federal level.\nWake up.", ">\n\nUSACE still falls under the same policies as the rest of the army. They're treated as DA civilians, and subject to periodic biochemical testing and the resultant consequences if they pee hot. The army has, and will not in the foreseeable future, relax any policy regarding marijuana.", ">\n\nAdorable idea; wish they had hired someone better at photoshop", ">\n\nIts a free gag calendar that was probably just put together by someone for fun in their spare time. Considering the state of infrastructure in the US I don't imagine the Corps of Engineers has a lot of extra spending money to throw around", ">\n\nIf they were smart, they would print it for us and sell it. I don't want a crappy calender that I printed on regular paper, I want the real thing and I would be glad to pay for it.", ">\n\nGenius!! This needs to be a trend. Reddit, make it so...", ">\n\nfuck yeah we finally gonna balance the budget", ">\n\nDecember's hilarious. I want this calender.", ">\n\nYou can totally tell that this is not real. The lighting on the cats is so obviously different than the environmental mistake. Pathetic effort infrastructure geeks.", ">\n\nSo they can blame cats for shoddy workmanship and lax maintenance.", ">\n\nDon't capitalize \"Of\" in titles", ">\n\nWish they'd focus on not taking eight years to permit a fucking project, those lazy excuses for engineers.", ">\n\nYou’re crazy dude. These peeps have built some amazing things. Extremely impressive.", ">\n\nThey used to.", ">\n\n😂", ">\n\nThis whole absurd thing is exactly my sense of humour. LOVE it.", ">\n\nOregon! I've seen the one at Detroit Dam. Sneaky bugger. Hangs out with Bigfoot.", ">\n\nI need this", ">\n\nThat's some adorable terrorism right there.", ">\n\nI remember seeing them, on quad bikes, with a lot of equipment, on Myrtle Beach beaches, I always wondered what they were doing...", ">\n\nI love this sequel to Beginning of the End!", ">\n\nIs there a way I can buy a physical version?", ">\n\nThey're Demo-cats!", ">\n\nAny recommendations of the best way to get this printed semi-professionally? I tried checking Costco photo centre but they make you use a template.", ">\n\nOf course it’s Portland.", ">\n\nKind of disappointing I can't actually buy a printed one. My daughter would love this.", ">\n\nA pretty good idea for a poster. Who doesn't like cats being cats?", ">\n\nI really wish I had become a part of the ACOE but my mother didn't want her only son in the military.", ">\n\nUsace has civilian positions you're employed by the army, but you don't go through basic", ">\n\nI hope they pay more than Nidec.", ">\n\nThanks for sharing! Downloaded and got my new Lock Screen wallpaper.", ">\n\nDecember is 🔥", ">\n\nObligatory Cat Dynamics", ">\n\nPoliticians will say this is the proof of the REAL reason of why our infrastructure is deteriorating, then vote in a measure to hire their friends and family to counter this threat.", ">\n\nI didnt know cats were domestic terrorists like Republicans. lol", ">\n\nThis is the only kind of apocalypse I could see myself getting excited about.", ">\n\nAugust a missed opportunity to have CAT Excavators.", ">\n\nYou have my attention.", ">\n\nSmart move", ">\n\nGod help us.", ">\n\nBest thing to come out of the Army post WWII.", ">\n\n🤔", ">\n\n\"Let's write a two paragraph article about something freely available on the internet and make absolutely no attempt to actually tell you where to find it\".", ">\n\nCatjira!", ">\n\nhilarious!", ">\n\nFinally", ">\n\nThis is the oniony-est story I’ve seen on here in a while", ">\n\nCant wait for the next spending bill to include cat proofing our infrastructure", ">\n\nHonestly… I’d buy it.", ">\n\nWish I would have heard of that in November or so. This seems unique, fun and a great idea for a calendar.", ">\n\nI heard about this from Last Podcast on the Left, glad to see it pop up on my feed with pictures!", ">\n\nI'm gonna need an NSN For that...", ">\n\nOf course it’s the Portland District", ">\n\nHonestly this is worth buying", ">\n\nIm not a cat person, but I would buy the calendar.", ">\n\nAny way to view the album without losing my mind on that website? God it's shit on mobile.", ">\n\nI especially love how June just looks like a well framed optical illusion photo.", ">\n\nThis is cute and all, but man, it seems a little poor in taste that August is a kitty-shaped military drone blowing up an Iraqi preschool", ">\n\nWhat did Oregon do to deserve this", ">\n\nGee I read that and instantly I thought they had done a study and released an estimated calendar of when an where giant cats would attack infrastructure in 2023. Phew.", ">\n\nOn that day, humanity received a grim reminder…", ">\n\nah yes\nPortland keeping it weird again", ">\n\nit’s cute, but who wrote the copy?", ">\n\nAmazing", ">\n\neverything changed when the cat nation attacked", ">\n\nI'm into it", ">\n\nnow this is what I want my tax dollars going towards", ">\n\nI'd love to believe that there was some huge misunderstanding and somewhere someone had actually meant CATs like the company with the big heavy machinery", ">\n\nThe word \"attacking\" is doing a lot of work here", ">\n\nW", ">\n\nLook, I’m pretty anti-government, but this I can get behind" ]

[ "Imagine the work order. \nYour boss comes to you and says, \"Hey, you're in charge of the cats calendar.\"\n\"What calendar?\"\n\"The one with cats attacking infrastructure?\"\n\"What?\"", ">\n\nyou miss ONE day...", ">\n\nHail Vectron!", ">\n\nBy Vectron!", ">\n\nFor those yet to experience the holy might of Vectron's kindly claw", ">\n\nThank you. I had no idea.", ">\n\nYou are most welcome by Vectron", ">\n\nFor the love of all that is Vectron, your speech warms my Vectronic heart.", ">\n\nMay Vectron’s beard shed its benevolence upon us. 🙏🏻🙏🏻", ">\n\nAnd may all of his correspondence to us be sent Vectronically. So it is written, so shall it be done.", ">\n\nI live in Oregon and started to recognize a bunch of the dams, so I was like, “huh, that’s kinda cool.” Then I saw the text at the bottom of the first page. Portland District. Now a cat calendar makes perfect sense.", ">\n\nSame thing happened to me. I think I'm going to head to kinko's and have them print it out for me.", ">\n\nTell them you need to print some important official military documents before you show them what it is", ">\n\nDon’t forget to tell them you need it right meow!", ">\n\nWho will protect our infrastructure from this menace?", ">\n\nAn array of laser pointers.", ">\n\ncut to giant laser pointer satellite", ">\n\nomigod the jewish space lasers were real", ">\n\n*meowish space lasers", ">\n\nHey that's racist", ">\n\nI think it would be cheaper to buy a calendar than use the ink/toner required to print it.", ">\n\nThat's why you print it at work.", ">\n\nhaha true, oh wait I work from home...", ">\n\nIf you print from home for work you can write printer supplies off on your taxes :)", ">\n\nUh yes boss I needed a calendar, so… oh what? Use the company one? Ummm but the US army has a really nice one and I thought I’d be patriotic - what? Oh, yeah I know we’re in Canada, I just…", ">\n\nPortland is pretty much wannabe Vancouver, BC. I say it goes!", ">\n\nExactly what a Canadian would say...", ">\n\nGoodies, goodie goodie, yum yum.", ">\n\nI just scrolled until I found The Goodies reference but was wondering if I was going to find one at all.", ">\n\nIt's way down the list, isn't it? \n/knees hurt.", ">\n\nOw, my back! Get off my lawn!", ">\n\nOne engineer did it in his free time, and released it for use through the corps. \nThis was NOT government funded.", ">\n\nEven if it was government funded, I support this.", ">\n\nEven if it was government funded it would've been like maybe one day of pay at most? Not a ton for the amount of publicity they'll get that might make them even more money.", ">\n\nAssuming they already have the infrastructure pictures I would be surprised if it took more than 4 work hours. Also for chronically underfunded agencies that kind of PR is exactly how you get voters to convince the politicians to increase funds. I look forward to NASA figuring out how to photoshop giant cats playing with the planets like balls of yarn for their calendar", ">\n\n\nI look forward to NASA figuring out how to photoshop giant cats playing with the planets like balls of yarn for their calendar \n\nWell let me introduce you to the most bizarre social media messaging from an official U.S. government agency: The U.S. Consumer Product Safety Commission's Instagram feed. \nAnd before I catch any \"there's no way this is real\" replies, here's the Washington Post covering it: \n\nHow a federal bureaucrat uses astronaut babies and dogs riding pigeons to try to save your life", ">\n\nThis is rad!", ">\n\nCISA losing their shit rn", ">\n\nI would like one.", ">\n\nIt's a free PDF.", ">\n\nNo he would like one of the cats", ">\n\nyOu wOuLdN'T DoWnloAd a cAT", ">\n\nI can’t believe they included Sherlock getting knocked off a cliff. At least he didn’t jump this time.", ">\n\nI'm shocked that you're the only person I've seen comment on this so far! it's hilarious", ">\n\n\"Every year, dozens of cats attack important infrastructure for our country causing dozens of dollars of damage. Won't you help?\"", ">\n\nI heard this with Sarah McLoughlin's voice", ">\n\nArmy Cats", ">\n\nNow do it with pictures of our crumbling infrastructure.", ">\n\nThis seems like one of those things that is somehow going to age poorly given our Universe's current sense of irony. I don't know how exactly, but there's going to be some mass tragedy involving cats and a suspension bridge or something this year.", ">\n\nThe first image kind of reads like \"this infrastructure is super important so don't damage it\". The calendar almost seems like a shopping list for domestic terrorists or something lol.", ">\n\nI mean, pretty obvious that dams, substations, bridges and the like are good targets for chaos. Google maps gives you all this plus Police stations and everything, with photos and the address. Useless to worry about it", ">\n\nSeriously, anyone who unironicly think terrorists were waiting for a cat calendar to list a bunch of locations to bomb is paranoid about the wrong things.", ">\n\nCats would hunt and eat us if they were bigger than us", ">\n\nThey already do, they are called Tigers.", ">\n\nIf there were smaller tigers, we would keep them as pets, but they'd break all our stuff to prove they're still in charge.", ">\n\nThey already do, they are called Cats.", ">\n\nOH MY GOD!", ">\n\nMy tabby is a cute little tiger", ">\n\nI knew we had infrastructure challenges, but I didn't realize we were facing an infrastructure cat-astrophe!", ">\n\nTake my r/angryupvote", ">\n\nI love how shitty the photoshop is. Really ties it all together", ">\n\nYeah I like the idea--but the pictures chosen and color grading are all off. I'd like this idea better executed more professionally.", ">\n\nOh no I'm serious. The unprofessionalism is the best part. I would absolutely pay money for this", ">\n\nOnly only thing weirder is gonna be their crazy ass plan to save the infrastructure.", ">\n\nIt's the engineer Corp, they can build giant cat carriers.", ">\n\nI guess anything beats the 40 million they spend on viagra to keep the soldiers saluting.", ">\n\nThis is delightful", ">\n\ni was imagining mountain lions breaking in to dumpsters or something, not giant house cats gnawing on substations, not disappointed.", ">\n\nI don’t need a calendar now that our pocket rectangles handle all of that for us, but I really want this calendar.", ">\n\nIt is really convenient to just walk by my schedule versus having to pull it up, scroll, click and expand. I tend to forget about things if I don’t see it in front of me, but that’s just how my brain works. Plus if you’re on the phone trying to schedule something it’s nice to write it out too.", ">\n\nI'm sorry, we're already booked for giant spiders.", ">\n\nI personally kinda love this.", ">\n\nBest use of a miniscule amount of our tax dollars in the entire US $1.7T budget. US Army Corp wins the internet today!", ">\n\nHonestly, the entire army corps of engineers may be one of highest rates of return on public good vs funding", ">\n\nSeriously. They do a shit ton of quality and important public work on a relatively shoe-string budget for engineering. I have a lot of respect for the people that work at the USACOE.", ">\n\nSeptember, now that one is art", ">\n\nHaters will say it's Photoshop.", ">\n\nThey’ve never seen Catzilla.", ">\n\nHero of the Week! Hail yourself!", ">\n\nThere it is!", ">\n\n\nThe Army Corps Of Engineers Has Released a 2023 Calendar Of Giant Cats Attacking <\n\nr/brand new sentence \nAlso, giant cats attacking infrastructure is so 2020. In 2023 it just sounds silly.", ">\n\nSeptember ❤️", ">\n\nOmg. I love this. Especially the text blurbs on the pictures. Very funny and adorable!", ">\n\nSounds like they understand cats are required if you want social media traction", ">\n\nI have never wanted to buy a calendar more than I do now!", ">\n\nOn the one hand, I applaud the idea.\nOn the other hand, the photoshop skills look like they came from the army corps of engineers.", ">\n\nWould you actually want them to look like they were perfectly matched to each environment? I'm pretty sure the comedic effect is all that matters here.\nAnd besides, it was just one engineer that created this on their spare time, rather than an official ACE production.", ">\n\nI was mainly being a bit snarky because the internet. That, and what I said was objectively true.", ">\n\nCan confirm, the Corps of Engineers fuckkkkks", ">\n\nGoddammit I just bought my 2023 calendar too lol", ">\n\nThat’s cute though, not worrisome like a lot of other r/nottheonion posts.", ">\n\nAs ever, the Army Corps of Engineers are the one branch of the US state that can get the important shit done", ">\n\nFrom the comments ITT it's evident that most people are unaware of how important they are to the lives of the majority of productive people in this country (people who live near a coastline or a major body of water). It's not just dams and rivers, it's the actual physical coastline of america that they look after.", ">\n\nYup, it seems double edged- people think oh, they're the army corps and assumes they must be doing only military stuff. But equally if it was civilianised no doubt it'd be a target for cuts. An incredible org, regardless. And whether it's cats or weather or warming or the collapse of neglected infrastructure they're going to get more and more important so it's a damn good thing they exist because in 2023, nobody would invent them...", ">\n\nUSACE is an agency that is funded by the DOD but is vastly ran by civilians. There are very few enlisted or commissioned people in the army corps.", ">\n\nOK this is a thing and this is awesome", ">\n\nOops, I had \"Zombie Redneck Torture Family\" in the betting pool.", ">\n\nGrumble. Never gonna see a merman...", ">\n\nUSACE Portland District is one of the absolute best public sector social media presences out there. Seriously. Check it out.", ">\n\nCats in military pictures is an entire IG channel", ">\n\nGood boot", ">\n\nCommand team must be TDY", ">\n\nThat was even better than the title made me think it would be.", ">\n\nI support my tax dollars going to causes such as this.", ">\n\nFinally tax dollars doing something good", ">\n\nI’m kind of disappointed. From the title, I thought there would be photos of actual big cats attacking infrastructure, not photoshopped domestic cats. Anyone have a photo of a puma going after an electrical substation? Or a tiger gnawing on a water line?", ">\n\nNo. No one has that. Would be very interesting though to compile a calendar like that. Peace brother.", ">\n\nGreat, now I need a color printer.\nSeriously, thank you u/radioman8414!", ">\n\nThis is how I want my tax money spent. Downloaded and put up in my office!", ">\n\nThe regional social media guy who put this together is constantly hilarious", ">\n\nGreatest calendar of 2023.", ">\n\nI need one of these for my office! I've worked on some of these dams!", ">\n\nCan I ask you some dam questions?? I’m sure you know a lot of dam information. I’m sure all of us would love some dam stories. Thank you.", ">\n\nSure way to have a more interesting calendar than just infrastructure.", ">\n\nI would so adopt one if they existed.", ">\n\nI've heard army corps of engineers are very difficult to house train. May want to consider before adopting one.", ">\n\nTouché.", ">\n\nThat's amazing, thank you for posting it!", ">\n\nIs there anywhere to buy a nice physical copy of the calendar?", ">\n\nThose cats are mind-controlled by taxoplasmosis alien ameobas!", ">\n\nI was thinking this was gonna be mountain lions taking out maintenance huts or something like that. This is so much better", ">\n\nI’m the daughter of a former Portland, Oregon, US Army Corps Engineer, and I can confirm they are a strange crew. It makes me view the dams on the Columbia River fondly?", ">\n\nI love this so much.", ">\n\nDude. Awesome.", ">\n\nI love this! My astronomy teacher once did a talk on space cats. It was hysterical. Out of the blue he showed us pictures of space with cats added in. He felt we needed a fun class for laughs. I want this calendar.", ">\n\nThis would be really cool if they got a decent digital artist. But they didn't, they used photoshop about as well as I can.", ">\n\nI think that adds to the charm", ">\n\nDon't even need to see it, where can I buy it", ">\n\nFrom the link - \"Because the Army Corps is a Government Agency, the calendar is in public domain and totally free to download and print\"", ">\n\nThis is so funny, because it’s my Dad’s old workplace (from 1971 until he retired). My father, however, has zero sense of humor so he’d never work on something like this.", ">\n\nI met a guy from the Army Corps of Engineers when I worked for the EPA. Smartest guy I've ever met and the 2nd most hippe like person I've ever met. I'd like to think he had something to do with this idea.", ">\n\nFinally the massive military budget of the US is put to good use.", ">\n\nThis is awesome. I might have to buy one.", ">\n\nNo need. It's free, though you have to print it yourself if you want a physical copy", ">\n\nThis is so adorable! I approve wholeheartedly.", ">\n\nIt's about time.", ">\n\nSappers lead the way", ">\n\nI have so much love for this.", ">\n\nEhisssayons.", ">\n\nLove it.", ">\n\nUnintended benefits of relaxed Marijuana policies :)", ">\n\nUsace has not relaxed cannabis policies. No federal agency has", ">\n\nThey certainly have relaxed policy, even though federal law hasn't changed. It's legal in my state and the current administration has announced they won't be pursuing user level Marijuana charges at the federal level.\nWake up.", ">\n\nUSACE still falls under the same policies as the rest of the army. They're treated as DA civilians, and subject to periodic biochemical testing and the resultant consequences if they pee hot. The army has, and will not in the foreseeable future, relax any policy regarding marijuana.", ">\n\nAdorable idea; wish they had hired someone better at photoshop", ">\n\nIts a free gag calendar that was probably just put together by someone for fun in their spare time. Considering the state of infrastructure in the US I don't imagine the Corps of Engineers has a lot of extra spending money to throw around", ">\n\nIf they were smart, they would print it for us and sell it. I don't want a crappy calender that I printed on regular paper, I want the real thing and I would be glad to pay for it.", ">\n\nGenius!! This needs to be a trend. Reddit, make it so...", ">\n\nfuck yeah we finally gonna balance the budget", ">\n\nDecember's hilarious. I want this calender.", ">\n\nYou can totally tell that this is not real. The lighting on the cats is so obviously different than the environmental mistake. Pathetic effort infrastructure geeks.", ">\n\nSo they can blame cats for shoddy workmanship and lax maintenance.", ">\n\nDon't capitalize \"Of\" in titles", ">\n\nWish they'd focus on not taking eight years to permit a fucking project, those lazy excuses for engineers.", ">\n\nYou’re crazy dude. These peeps have built some amazing things. Extremely impressive.", ">\n\nThey used to.", ">\n\n😂", ">\n\nThis whole absurd thing is exactly my sense of humour. LOVE it.", ">\n\nOregon! I've seen the one at Detroit Dam. Sneaky bugger. Hangs out with Bigfoot.", ">\n\nI need this", ">\n\nThat's some adorable terrorism right there.", ">\n\nI remember seeing them, on quad bikes, with a lot of equipment, on Myrtle Beach beaches, I always wondered what they were doing...", ">\n\nI love this sequel to Beginning of the End!", ">\n\nIs there a way I can buy a physical version?", ">\n\nThey're Demo-cats!", ">\n\nAny recommendations of the best way to get this printed semi-professionally? I tried checking Costco photo centre but they make you use a template.", ">\n\nOf course it’s Portland.", ">\n\nKind of disappointing I can't actually buy a printed one. My daughter would love this.", ">\n\nA pretty good idea for a poster. Who doesn't like cats being cats?", ">\n\nI really wish I had become a part of the ACOE but my mother didn't want her only son in the military.", ">\n\nUsace has civilian positions you're employed by the army, but you don't go through basic", ">\n\nI hope they pay more than Nidec.", ">\n\nThanks for sharing! Downloaded and got my new Lock Screen wallpaper.", ">\n\nDecember is 🔥", ">\n\nObligatory Cat Dynamics", ">\n\nPoliticians will say this is the proof of the REAL reason of why our infrastructure is deteriorating, then vote in a measure to hire their friends and family to counter this threat.", ">\n\nI didnt know cats were domestic terrorists like Republicans. lol", ">\n\nThis is the only kind of apocalypse I could see myself getting excited about.", ">\n\nAugust a missed opportunity to have CAT Excavators.", ">\n\nYou have my attention.", ">\n\nSmart move", ">\n\nGod help us.", ">\n\nBest thing to come out of the Army post WWII.", ">\n\n🤔", ">\n\n\"Let's write a two paragraph article about something freely available on the internet and make absolutely no attempt to actually tell you where to find it\".", ">\n\nCatjira!", ">\n\nhilarious!", ">\n\nFinally", ">\n\nThis is the oniony-est story I’ve seen on here in a while", ">\n\nCant wait for the next spending bill to include cat proofing our infrastructure", ">\n\nHonestly… I’d buy it.", ">\n\nWish I would have heard of that in November or so. This seems unique, fun and a great idea for a calendar.", ">\n\nI heard about this from Last Podcast on the Left, glad to see it pop up on my feed with pictures!", ">\n\nI'm gonna need an NSN For that...", ">\n\nOf course it’s the Portland District", ">\n\nHonestly this is worth buying", ">\n\nIm not a cat person, but I would buy the calendar.", ">\n\nAny way to view the album without losing my mind on that website? God it's shit on mobile.", ">\n\nI especially love how June just looks like a well framed optical illusion photo.", ">\n\nThis is cute and all, but man, it seems a little poor in taste that August is a kitty-shaped military drone blowing up an Iraqi preschool", ">\n\nWhat did Oregon do to deserve this", ">\n\nGee I read that and instantly I thought they had done a study and released an estimated calendar of when an where giant cats would attack infrastructure in 2023. Phew.", ">\n\nOn that day, humanity received a grim reminder…", ">\n\nah yes\nPortland keeping it weird again", ">\n\nit’s cute, but who wrote the copy?", ">\n\nAmazing", ">\n\neverything changed when the cat nation attacked", ">\n\nI'm into it", ">\n\nnow this is what I want my tax dollars going towards", ">\n\nI'd love to believe that there was some huge misunderstanding and somewhere someone had actually meant CATs like the company with the big heavy machinery", ">\n\nThe word \"attacking\" is doing a lot of work here", ">\n\nW", ">\n\nLook, I’m pretty anti-government, but this I can get behind", ">\n\nCattack on titan" ]

[ "Imagine the work order. \nYour boss comes to you and says, \"Hey, you're in charge of the cats calendar.\"\n\"What calendar?\"\n\"The one with cats attacking infrastructure?\"\n\"What?\"", ">\n\nyou miss ONE day...", ">\n\nHail Vectron!", ">\n\nBy Vectron!", ">\n\nFor those yet to experience the holy might of Vectron's kindly claw", ">\n\nThank you. I had no idea.", ">\n\nYou are most welcome by Vectron", ">\n\nFor the love of all that is Vectron, your speech warms my Vectronic heart.", ">\n\nMay Vectron’s beard shed its benevolence upon us. 🙏🏻🙏🏻", ">\n\nAnd may all of his correspondence to us be sent Vectronically. So it is written, so shall it be done.", ">\n\nI live in Oregon and started to recognize a bunch of the dams, so I was like, “huh, that’s kinda cool.” Then I saw the text at the bottom of the first page. Portland District. Now a cat calendar makes perfect sense.", ">\n\nSame thing happened to me. I think I'm going to head to kinko's and have them print it out for me.", ">\n\nTell them you need to print some important official military documents before you show them what it is", ">\n\nDon’t forget to tell them you need it right meow!", ">\n\nWho will protect our infrastructure from this menace?", ">\n\nAn array of laser pointers.", ">\n\ncut to giant laser pointer satellite", ">\n\nomigod the jewish space lasers were real", ">\n\n*meowish space lasers", ">\n\nHey that's racist", ">\n\nI think it would be cheaper to buy a calendar than use the ink/toner required to print it.", ">\n\nThat's why you print it at work.", ">\n\nhaha true, oh wait I work from home...", ">\n\nIf you print from home for work you can write printer supplies off on your taxes :)", ">\n\nUh yes boss I needed a calendar, so… oh what? Use the company one? Ummm but the US army has a really nice one and I thought I’d be patriotic - what? Oh, yeah I know we’re in Canada, I just…", ">\n\nPortland is pretty much wannabe Vancouver, BC. I say it goes!", ">\n\nExactly what a Canadian would say...", ">\n\nGoodies, goodie goodie, yum yum.", ">\n\nI just scrolled until I found The Goodies reference but was wondering if I was going to find one at all.", ">\n\nIt's way down the list, isn't it? \n/knees hurt.", ">\n\nOw, my back! Get off my lawn!", ">\n\nOne engineer did it in his free time, and released it for use through the corps. \nThis was NOT government funded.", ">\n\nEven if it was government funded, I support this.", ">\n\nEven if it was government funded it would've been like maybe one day of pay at most? Not a ton for the amount of publicity they'll get that might make them even more money.", ">\n\nAssuming they already have the infrastructure pictures I would be surprised if it took more than 4 work hours. Also for chronically underfunded agencies that kind of PR is exactly how you get voters to convince the politicians to increase funds. I look forward to NASA figuring out how to photoshop giant cats playing with the planets like balls of yarn for their calendar", ">\n\n\nI look forward to NASA figuring out how to photoshop giant cats playing with the planets like balls of yarn for their calendar \n\nWell let me introduce you to the most bizarre social media messaging from an official U.S. government agency: The U.S. Consumer Product Safety Commission's Instagram feed. \nAnd before I catch any \"there's no way this is real\" replies, here's the Washington Post covering it: \n\nHow a federal bureaucrat uses astronaut babies and dogs riding pigeons to try to save your life", ">\n\nThis is rad!", ">\n\nCISA losing their shit rn", ">\n\nI would like one.", ">\n\nIt's a free PDF.", ">\n\nNo he would like one of the cats", ">\n\nyOu wOuLdN'T DoWnloAd a cAT", ">\n\nI can’t believe they included Sherlock getting knocked off a cliff. At least he didn’t jump this time.", ">\n\nI'm shocked that you're the only person I've seen comment on this so far! it's hilarious", ">\n\n\"Every year, dozens of cats attack important infrastructure for our country causing dozens of dollars of damage. Won't you help?\"", ">\n\nI heard this with Sarah McLoughlin's voice", ">\n\nArmy Cats", ">\n\nNow do it with pictures of our crumbling infrastructure.", ">\n\nThis seems like one of those things that is somehow going to age poorly given our Universe's current sense of irony. I don't know how exactly, but there's going to be some mass tragedy involving cats and a suspension bridge or something this year.", ">\n\nThe first image kind of reads like \"this infrastructure is super important so don't damage it\". The calendar almost seems like a shopping list for domestic terrorists or something lol.", ">\n\nI mean, pretty obvious that dams, substations, bridges and the like are good targets for chaos. Google maps gives you all this plus Police stations and everything, with photos and the address. Useless to worry about it", ">\n\nSeriously, anyone who unironicly think terrorists were waiting for a cat calendar to list a bunch of locations to bomb is paranoid about the wrong things.", ">\n\nCats would hunt and eat us if they were bigger than us", ">\n\nThey already do, they are called Tigers.", ">\n\nIf there were smaller tigers, we would keep them as pets, but they'd break all our stuff to prove they're still in charge.", ">\n\nThey already do, they are called Cats.", ">\n\nOH MY GOD!", ">\n\nMy tabby is a cute little tiger", ">\n\nI knew we had infrastructure challenges, but I didn't realize we were facing an infrastructure cat-astrophe!", ">\n\nTake my r/angryupvote", ">\n\nI love how shitty the photoshop is. Really ties it all together", ">\n\nYeah I like the idea--but the pictures chosen and color grading are all off. I'd like this idea better executed more professionally.", ">\n\nOh no I'm serious. The unprofessionalism is the best part. I would absolutely pay money for this", ">\n\nOnly only thing weirder is gonna be their crazy ass plan to save the infrastructure.", ">\n\nIt's the engineer Corp, they can build giant cat carriers.", ">\n\nI guess anything beats the 40 million they spend on viagra to keep the soldiers saluting.", ">\n\nThis is delightful", ">\n\ni was imagining mountain lions breaking in to dumpsters or something, not giant house cats gnawing on substations, not disappointed.", ">\n\nI don’t need a calendar now that our pocket rectangles handle all of that for us, but I really want this calendar.", ">\n\nIt is really convenient to just walk by my schedule versus having to pull it up, scroll, click and expand. I tend to forget about things if I don’t see it in front of me, but that’s just how my brain works. Plus if you’re on the phone trying to schedule something it’s nice to write it out too.", ">\n\nI'm sorry, we're already booked for giant spiders.", ">\n\nI personally kinda love this.", ">\n\nBest use of a miniscule amount of our tax dollars in the entire US $1.7T budget. US Army Corp wins the internet today!", ">\n\nHonestly, the entire army corps of engineers may be one of highest rates of return on public good vs funding", ">\n\nSeriously. They do a shit ton of quality and important public work on a relatively shoe-string budget for engineering. I have a lot of respect for the people that work at the USACOE.", ">\n\nSeptember, now that one is art", ">\n\nHaters will say it's Photoshop.", ">\n\nThey’ve never seen Catzilla.", ">\n\nHero of the Week! Hail yourself!", ">\n\nThere it is!", ">\n\n\nThe Army Corps Of Engineers Has Released a 2023 Calendar Of Giant Cats Attacking <\n\nr/brand new sentence \nAlso, giant cats attacking infrastructure is so 2020. In 2023 it just sounds silly.", ">\n\nSeptember ❤️", ">\n\nOmg. I love this. Especially the text blurbs on the pictures. Very funny and adorable!", ">\n\nSounds like they understand cats are required if you want social media traction", ">\n\nI have never wanted to buy a calendar more than I do now!", ">\n\nOn the one hand, I applaud the idea.\nOn the other hand, the photoshop skills look like they came from the army corps of engineers.", ">\n\nWould you actually want them to look like they were perfectly matched to each environment? I'm pretty sure the comedic effect is all that matters here.\nAnd besides, it was just one engineer that created this on their spare time, rather than an official ACE production.", ">\n\nI was mainly being a bit snarky because the internet. That, and what I said was objectively true.", ">\n\nCan confirm, the Corps of Engineers fuckkkkks", ">\n\nGoddammit I just bought my 2023 calendar too lol", ">\n\nThat’s cute though, not worrisome like a lot of other r/nottheonion posts.", ">\n\nAs ever, the Army Corps of Engineers are the one branch of the US state that can get the important shit done", ">\n\nFrom the comments ITT it's evident that most people are unaware of how important they are to the lives of the majority of productive people in this country (people who live near a coastline or a major body of water). It's not just dams and rivers, it's the actual physical coastline of america that they look after.", ">\n\nYup, it seems double edged- people think oh, they're the army corps and assumes they must be doing only military stuff. But equally if it was civilianised no doubt it'd be a target for cuts. An incredible org, regardless. And whether it's cats or weather or warming or the collapse of neglected infrastructure they're going to get more and more important so it's a damn good thing they exist because in 2023, nobody would invent them...", ">\n\nUSACE is an agency that is funded by the DOD but is vastly ran by civilians. There are very few enlisted or commissioned people in the army corps.", ">\n\nOK this is a thing and this is awesome", ">\n\nOops, I had \"Zombie Redneck Torture Family\" in the betting pool.", ">\n\nGrumble. Never gonna see a merman...", ">\n\nUSACE Portland District is one of the absolute best public sector social media presences out there. Seriously. Check it out.", ">\n\nCats in military pictures is an entire IG channel", ">\n\nGood boot", ">\n\nCommand team must be TDY", ">\n\nThat was even better than the title made me think it would be.", ">\n\nI support my tax dollars going to causes such as this.", ">\n\nFinally tax dollars doing something good", ">\n\nI’m kind of disappointed. From the title, I thought there would be photos of actual big cats attacking infrastructure, not photoshopped domestic cats. Anyone have a photo of a puma going after an electrical substation? Or a tiger gnawing on a water line?", ">\n\nNo. No one has that. Would be very interesting though to compile a calendar like that. Peace brother.", ">\n\nGreat, now I need a color printer.\nSeriously, thank you u/radioman8414!", ">\n\nThis is how I want my tax money spent. Downloaded and put up in my office!", ">\n\nThe regional social media guy who put this together is constantly hilarious", ">\n\nGreatest calendar of 2023.", ">\n\nI need one of these for my office! I've worked on some of these dams!", ">\n\nCan I ask you some dam questions?? I’m sure you know a lot of dam information. I’m sure all of us would love some dam stories. Thank you.", ">\n\nSure way to have a more interesting calendar than just infrastructure.", ">\n\nI would so adopt one if they existed.", ">\n\nI've heard army corps of engineers are very difficult to house train. May want to consider before adopting one.", ">\n\nTouché.", ">\n\nThat's amazing, thank you for posting it!", ">\n\nIs there anywhere to buy a nice physical copy of the calendar?", ">\n\nThose cats are mind-controlled by taxoplasmosis alien ameobas!", ">\n\nI was thinking this was gonna be mountain lions taking out maintenance huts or something like that. This is so much better", ">\n\nI’m the daughter of a former Portland, Oregon, US Army Corps Engineer, and I can confirm they are a strange crew. It makes me view the dams on the Columbia River fondly?", ">\n\nI love this so much.", ">\n\nDude. Awesome.", ">\n\nI love this! My astronomy teacher once did a talk on space cats. It was hysterical. Out of the blue he showed us pictures of space with cats added in. He felt we needed a fun class for laughs. I want this calendar.", ">\n\nThis would be really cool if they got a decent digital artist. But they didn't, they used photoshop about as well as I can.", ">\n\nI think that adds to the charm", ">\n\nDon't even need to see it, where can I buy it", ">\n\nFrom the link - \"Because the Army Corps is a Government Agency, the calendar is in public domain and totally free to download and print\"", ">\n\nThis is so funny, because it’s my Dad’s old workplace (from 1971 until he retired). My father, however, has zero sense of humor so he’d never work on something like this.", ">\n\nI met a guy from the Army Corps of Engineers when I worked for the EPA. Smartest guy I've ever met and the 2nd most hippe like person I've ever met. I'd like to think he had something to do with this idea.", ">\n\nFinally the massive military budget of the US is put to good use.", ">\n\nThis is awesome. I might have to buy one.", ">\n\nNo need. It's free, though you have to print it yourself if you want a physical copy", ">\n\nThis is so adorable! I approve wholeheartedly.", ">\n\nIt's about time.", ">\n\nSappers lead the way", ">\n\nI have so much love for this.", ">\n\nEhisssayons.", ">\n\nLove it.", ">\n\nUnintended benefits of relaxed Marijuana policies :)", ">\n\nUsace has not relaxed cannabis policies. No federal agency has", ">\n\nThey certainly have relaxed policy, even though federal law hasn't changed. It's legal in my state and the current administration has announced they won't be pursuing user level Marijuana charges at the federal level.\nWake up.", ">\n\nUSACE still falls under the same policies as the rest of the army. They're treated as DA civilians, and subject to periodic biochemical testing and the resultant consequences if they pee hot. The army has, and will not in the foreseeable future, relax any policy regarding marijuana.", ">\n\nAdorable idea; wish they had hired someone better at photoshop", ">\n\nIts a free gag calendar that was probably just put together by someone for fun in their spare time. Considering the state of infrastructure in the US I don't imagine the Corps of Engineers has a lot of extra spending money to throw around", ">\n\nIf they were smart, they would print it for us and sell it. I don't want a crappy calender that I printed on regular paper, I want the real thing and I would be glad to pay for it.", ">\n\nGenius!! This needs to be a trend. Reddit, make it so...", ">\n\nfuck yeah we finally gonna balance the budget", ">\n\nDecember's hilarious. I want this calender.", ">\n\nYou can totally tell that this is not real. The lighting on the cats is so obviously different than the environmental mistake. Pathetic effort infrastructure geeks.", ">\n\nSo they can blame cats for shoddy workmanship and lax maintenance.", ">\n\nDon't capitalize \"Of\" in titles", ">\n\nWish they'd focus on not taking eight years to permit a fucking project, those lazy excuses for engineers.", ">\n\nYou’re crazy dude. These peeps have built some amazing things. Extremely impressive.", ">\n\nThey used to.", ">\n\n😂", ">\n\nThis whole absurd thing is exactly my sense of humour. LOVE it.", ">\n\nOregon! I've seen the one at Detroit Dam. Sneaky bugger. Hangs out with Bigfoot.", ">\n\nI need this", ">\n\nThat's some adorable terrorism right there.", ">\n\nI remember seeing them, on quad bikes, with a lot of equipment, on Myrtle Beach beaches, I always wondered what they were doing...", ">\n\nI love this sequel to Beginning of the End!", ">\n\nIs there a way I can buy a physical version?", ">\n\nThey're Demo-cats!", ">\n\nAny recommendations of the best way to get this printed semi-professionally? I tried checking Costco photo centre but they make you use a template.", ">\n\nOf course it’s Portland.", ">\n\nKind of disappointing I can't actually buy a printed one. My daughter would love this.", ">\n\nA pretty good idea for a poster. Who doesn't like cats being cats?", ">\n\nI really wish I had become a part of the ACOE but my mother didn't want her only son in the military.", ">\n\nUsace has civilian positions you're employed by the army, but you don't go through basic", ">\n\nI hope they pay more than Nidec.", ">\n\nThanks for sharing! Downloaded and got my new Lock Screen wallpaper.", ">\n\nDecember is 🔥", ">\n\nObligatory Cat Dynamics", ">\n\nPoliticians will say this is the proof of the REAL reason of why our infrastructure is deteriorating, then vote in a measure to hire their friends and family to counter this threat.", ">\n\nI didnt know cats were domestic terrorists like Republicans. lol", ">\n\nThis is the only kind of apocalypse I could see myself getting excited about.", ">\n\nAugust a missed opportunity to have CAT Excavators.", ">\n\nYou have my attention.", ">\n\nSmart move", ">\n\nGod help us.", ">\n\nBest thing to come out of the Army post WWII.", ">\n\n🤔", ">\n\n\"Let's write a two paragraph article about something freely available on the internet and make absolutely no attempt to actually tell you where to find it\".", ">\n\nCatjira!", ">\n\nhilarious!", ">\n\nFinally", ">\n\nThis is the oniony-est story I’ve seen on here in a while", ">\n\nCant wait for the next spending bill to include cat proofing our infrastructure", ">\n\nHonestly… I’d buy it.", ">\n\nWish I would have heard of that in November or so. This seems unique, fun and a great idea for a calendar.", ">\n\nI heard about this from Last Podcast on the Left, glad to see it pop up on my feed with pictures!", ">\n\nI'm gonna need an NSN For that...", ">\n\nOf course it’s the Portland District", ">\n\nHonestly this is worth buying", ">\n\nIm not a cat person, but I would buy the calendar.", ">\n\nAny way to view the album without losing my mind on that website? God it's shit on mobile.", ">\n\nI especially love how June just looks like a well framed optical illusion photo.", ">\n\nThis is cute and all, but man, it seems a little poor in taste that August is a kitty-shaped military drone blowing up an Iraqi preschool", ">\n\nWhat did Oregon do to deserve this", ">\n\nGee I read that and instantly I thought they had done a study and released an estimated calendar of when an where giant cats would attack infrastructure in 2023. Phew.", ">\n\nOn that day, humanity received a grim reminder…", ">\n\nah yes\nPortland keeping it weird again", ">\n\nit’s cute, but who wrote the copy?", ">\n\nAmazing", ">\n\neverything changed when the cat nation attacked", ">\n\nI'm into it", ">\n\nnow this is what I want my tax dollars going towards", ">\n\nI'd love to believe that there was some huge misunderstanding and somewhere someone had actually meant CATs like the company with the big heavy machinery", ">\n\nThe word \"attacking\" is doing a lot of work here", ">\n\nW", ">\n\nLook, I’m pretty anti-government, but this I can get behind", ">\n\nCattack on titan", ">\n\nI'm a civil engineer.\nI would fucking LOVE this.\nThis'll go good in my office next to my other engineering / math punny comics.\nLike this one.\nOr this one.\nOr, maybe this one." ]

[ "Imagine the work order. \nYour boss comes to you and says, \"Hey, you're in charge of the cats calendar.\"\n\"What calendar?\"\n\"The one with cats attacking infrastructure?\"\n\"What?\"", ">\n\nyou miss ONE day...", ">\n\nHail Vectron!", ">\n\nBy Vectron!", ">\n\nFor those yet to experience the holy might of Vectron's kindly claw", ">\n\nThank you. I had no idea.", ">\n\nYou are most welcome by Vectron", ">\n\nFor the love of all that is Vectron, your speech warms my Vectronic heart.", ">\n\nMay Vectron’s beard shed its benevolence upon us. 🙏🏻🙏🏻", ">\n\nAnd may all of his correspondence to us be sent Vectronically. So it is written, so shall it be done.", ">\n\nI live in Oregon and started to recognize a bunch of the dams, so I was like, “huh, that’s kinda cool.” Then I saw the text at the bottom of the first page. Portland District. Now a cat calendar makes perfect sense.", ">\n\nSame thing happened to me. I think I'm going to head to kinko's and have them print it out for me.", ">\n\nTell them you need to print some important official military documents before you show them what it is", ">\n\nDon’t forget to tell them you need it right meow!", ">\n\nWho will protect our infrastructure from this menace?", ">\n\nAn array of laser pointers.", ">\n\ncut to giant laser pointer satellite", ">\n\nomigod the jewish space lasers were real", ">\n\n*meowish space lasers", ">\n\nHey that's racist", ">\n\nI think it would be cheaper to buy a calendar than use the ink/toner required to print it.", ">\n\nThat's why you print it at work.", ">\n\nhaha true, oh wait I work from home...", ">\n\nIf you print from home for work you can write printer supplies off on your taxes :)", ">\n\nUh yes boss I needed a calendar, so… oh what? Use the company one? Ummm but the US army has a really nice one and I thought I’d be patriotic - what? Oh, yeah I know we’re in Canada, I just…", ">\n\nPortland is pretty much wannabe Vancouver, BC. I say it goes!", ">\n\nExactly what a Canadian would say...", ">\n\nGoodies, goodie goodie, yum yum.", ">\n\nI just scrolled until I found The Goodies reference but was wondering if I was going to find one at all.", ">\n\nIt's way down the list, isn't it? \n/knees hurt.", ">\n\nOw, my back! Get off my lawn!", ">\n\nOne engineer did it in his free time, and released it for use through the corps. \nThis was NOT government funded.", ">\n\nEven if it was government funded, I support this.", ">\n\nEven if it was government funded it would've been like maybe one day of pay at most? Not a ton for the amount of publicity they'll get that might make them even more money.", ">\n\nAssuming they already have the infrastructure pictures I would be surprised if it took more than 4 work hours. Also for chronically underfunded agencies that kind of PR is exactly how you get voters to convince the politicians to increase funds. I look forward to NASA figuring out how to photoshop giant cats playing with the planets like balls of yarn for their calendar", ">\n\n\nI look forward to NASA figuring out how to photoshop giant cats playing with the planets like balls of yarn for their calendar \n\nWell let me introduce you to the most bizarre social media messaging from an official U.S. government agency: The U.S. Consumer Product Safety Commission's Instagram feed. \nAnd before I catch any \"there's no way this is real\" replies, here's the Washington Post covering it: \n\nHow a federal bureaucrat uses astronaut babies and dogs riding pigeons to try to save your life", ">\n\nThis is rad!", ">\n\nCISA losing their shit rn", ">\n\nI would like one.", ">\n\nIt's a free PDF.", ">\n\nNo he would like one of the cats", ">\n\nyOu wOuLdN'T DoWnloAd a cAT", ">\n\nI can’t believe they included Sherlock getting knocked off a cliff. At least he didn’t jump this time.", ">\n\nI'm shocked that you're the only person I've seen comment on this so far! it's hilarious", ">\n\n\"Every year, dozens of cats attack important infrastructure for our country causing dozens of dollars of damage. Won't you help?\"", ">\n\nI heard this with Sarah McLoughlin's voice", ">\n\nArmy Cats", ">\n\nNow do it with pictures of our crumbling infrastructure.", ">\n\nThis seems like one of those things that is somehow going to age poorly given our Universe's current sense of irony. I don't know how exactly, but there's going to be some mass tragedy involving cats and a suspension bridge or something this year.", ">\n\nThe first image kind of reads like \"this infrastructure is super important so don't damage it\". The calendar almost seems like a shopping list for domestic terrorists or something lol.", ">\n\nI mean, pretty obvious that dams, substations, bridges and the like are good targets for chaos. Google maps gives you all this plus Police stations and everything, with photos and the address. Useless to worry about it", ">\n\nSeriously, anyone who unironicly think terrorists were waiting for a cat calendar to list a bunch of locations to bomb is paranoid about the wrong things.", ">\n\nCats would hunt and eat us if they were bigger than us", ">\n\nThey already do, they are called Tigers.", ">\n\nIf there were smaller tigers, we would keep them as pets, but they'd break all our stuff to prove they're still in charge.", ">\n\nThey already do, they are called Cats.", ">\n\nOH MY GOD!", ">\n\nMy tabby is a cute little tiger", ">\n\nI knew we had infrastructure challenges, but I didn't realize we were facing an infrastructure cat-astrophe!", ">\n\nTake my r/angryupvote", ">\n\nI love how shitty the photoshop is. Really ties it all together", ">\n\nYeah I like the idea--but the pictures chosen and color grading are all off. I'd like this idea better executed more professionally.", ">\n\nOh no I'm serious. The unprofessionalism is the best part. I would absolutely pay money for this", ">\n\nOnly only thing weirder is gonna be their crazy ass plan to save the infrastructure.", ">\n\nIt's the engineer Corp, they can build giant cat carriers.", ">\n\nI guess anything beats the 40 million they spend on viagra to keep the soldiers saluting.", ">\n\nThis is delightful", ">\n\ni was imagining mountain lions breaking in to dumpsters or something, not giant house cats gnawing on substations, not disappointed.", ">\n\nI don’t need a calendar now that our pocket rectangles handle all of that for us, but I really want this calendar.", ">\n\nIt is really convenient to just walk by my schedule versus having to pull it up, scroll, click and expand. I tend to forget about things if I don’t see it in front of me, but that’s just how my brain works. Plus if you’re on the phone trying to schedule something it’s nice to write it out too.", ">\n\nI'm sorry, we're already booked for giant spiders.", ">\n\nI personally kinda love this.", ">\n\nBest use of a miniscule amount of our tax dollars in the entire US $1.7T budget. US Army Corp wins the internet today!", ">\n\nHonestly, the entire army corps of engineers may be one of highest rates of return on public good vs funding", ">\n\nSeriously. They do a shit ton of quality and important public work on a relatively shoe-string budget for engineering. I have a lot of respect for the people that work at the USACOE.", ">\n\nSeptember, now that one is art", ">\n\nHaters will say it's Photoshop.", ">\n\nThey’ve never seen Catzilla.", ">\n\nHero of the Week! Hail yourself!", ">\n\nThere it is!", ">\n\n\nThe Army Corps Of Engineers Has Released a 2023 Calendar Of Giant Cats Attacking <\n\nr/brand new sentence \nAlso, giant cats attacking infrastructure is so 2020. In 2023 it just sounds silly.", ">\n\nSeptember ❤️", ">\n\nOmg. I love this. Especially the text blurbs on the pictures. Very funny and adorable!", ">\n\nSounds like they understand cats are required if you want social media traction", ">\n\nI have never wanted to buy a calendar more than I do now!", ">\n\nOn the one hand, I applaud the idea.\nOn the other hand, the photoshop skills look like they came from the army corps of engineers.", ">\n\nWould you actually want them to look like they were perfectly matched to each environment? I'm pretty sure the comedic effect is all that matters here.\nAnd besides, it was just one engineer that created this on their spare time, rather than an official ACE production.", ">\n\nI was mainly being a bit snarky because the internet. That, and what I said was objectively true.", ">\n\nCan confirm, the Corps of Engineers fuckkkkks", ">\n\nGoddammit I just bought my 2023 calendar too lol", ">\n\nThat’s cute though, not worrisome like a lot of other r/nottheonion posts.", ">\n\nAs ever, the Army Corps of Engineers are the one branch of the US state that can get the important shit done", ">\n\nFrom the comments ITT it's evident that most people are unaware of how important they are to the lives of the majority of productive people in this country (people who live near a coastline or a major body of water). It's not just dams and rivers, it's the actual physical coastline of america that they look after.", ">\n\nYup, it seems double edged- people think oh, they're the army corps and assumes they must be doing only military stuff. But equally if it was civilianised no doubt it'd be a target for cuts. An incredible org, regardless. And whether it's cats or weather or warming or the collapse of neglected infrastructure they're going to get more and more important so it's a damn good thing they exist because in 2023, nobody would invent them...", ">\n\nUSACE is an agency that is funded by the DOD but is vastly ran by civilians. There are very few enlisted or commissioned people in the army corps.", ">\n\nOK this is a thing and this is awesome", ">\n\nOops, I had \"Zombie Redneck Torture Family\" in the betting pool.", ">\n\nGrumble. Never gonna see a merman...", ">\n\nUSACE Portland District is one of the absolute best public sector social media presences out there. Seriously. Check it out.", ">\n\nCats in military pictures is an entire IG channel", ">\n\nGood boot", ">\n\nCommand team must be TDY", ">\n\nThat was even better than the title made me think it would be.", ">\n\nI support my tax dollars going to causes such as this.", ">\n\nFinally tax dollars doing something good", ">\n\nI’m kind of disappointed. From the title, I thought there would be photos of actual big cats attacking infrastructure, not photoshopped domestic cats. Anyone have a photo of a puma going after an electrical substation? Or a tiger gnawing on a water line?", ">\n\nNo. No one has that. Would be very interesting though to compile a calendar like that. Peace brother.", ">\n\nGreat, now I need a color printer.\nSeriously, thank you u/radioman8414!", ">\n\nThis is how I want my tax money spent. Downloaded and put up in my office!", ">\n\nThe regional social media guy who put this together is constantly hilarious", ">\n\nGreatest calendar of 2023.", ">\n\nI need one of these for my office! I've worked on some of these dams!", ">\n\nCan I ask you some dam questions?? I’m sure you know a lot of dam information. I’m sure all of us would love some dam stories. Thank you.", ">\n\nSure way to have a more interesting calendar than just infrastructure.", ">\n\nI would so adopt one if they existed.", ">\n\nI've heard army corps of engineers are very difficult to house train. May want to consider before adopting one.", ">\n\nTouché.", ">\n\nThat's amazing, thank you for posting it!", ">\n\nIs there anywhere to buy a nice physical copy of the calendar?", ">\n\nThose cats are mind-controlled by taxoplasmosis alien ameobas!", ">\n\nI was thinking this was gonna be mountain lions taking out maintenance huts or something like that. This is so much better", ">\n\nI’m the daughter of a former Portland, Oregon, US Army Corps Engineer, and I can confirm they are a strange crew. It makes me view the dams on the Columbia River fondly?", ">\n\nI love this so much.", ">\n\nDude. Awesome.", ">\n\nI love this! My astronomy teacher once did a talk on space cats. It was hysterical. Out of the blue he showed us pictures of space with cats added in. He felt we needed a fun class for laughs. I want this calendar.", ">\n\nThis would be really cool if they got a decent digital artist. But they didn't, they used photoshop about as well as I can.", ">\n\nI think that adds to the charm", ">\n\nDon't even need to see it, where can I buy it", ">\n\nFrom the link - \"Because the Army Corps is a Government Agency, the calendar is in public domain and totally free to download and print\"", ">\n\nThis is so funny, because it’s my Dad’s old workplace (from 1971 until he retired). My father, however, has zero sense of humor so he’d never work on something like this.", ">\n\nI met a guy from the Army Corps of Engineers when I worked for the EPA. Smartest guy I've ever met and the 2nd most hippe like person I've ever met. I'd like to think he had something to do with this idea.", ">\n\nFinally the massive military budget of the US is put to good use.", ">\n\nThis is awesome. I might have to buy one.", ">\n\nNo need. It's free, though you have to print it yourself if you want a physical copy", ">\n\nThis is so adorable! I approve wholeheartedly.", ">\n\nIt's about time.", ">\n\nSappers lead the way", ">\n\nI have so much love for this.", ">\n\nEhisssayons.", ">\n\nLove it.", ">\n\nUnintended benefits of relaxed Marijuana policies :)", ">\n\nUsace has not relaxed cannabis policies. No federal agency has", ">\n\nThey certainly have relaxed policy, even though federal law hasn't changed. It's legal in my state and the current administration has announced they won't be pursuing user level Marijuana charges at the federal level.\nWake up.", ">\n\nUSACE still falls under the same policies as the rest of the army. They're treated as DA civilians, and subject to periodic biochemical testing and the resultant consequences if they pee hot. The army has, and will not in the foreseeable future, relax any policy regarding marijuana.", ">\n\nAdorable idea; wish they had hired someone better at photoshop", ">\n\nIts a free gag calendar that was probably just put together by someone for fun in their spare time. Considering the state of infrastructure in the US I don't imagine the Corps of Engineers has a lot of extra spending money to throw around", ">\n\nIf they were smart, they would print it for us and sell it. I don't want a crappy calender that I printed on regular paper, I want the real thing and I would be glad to pay for it.", ">\n\nGenius!! This needs to be a trend. Reddit, make it so...", ">\n\nfuck yeah we finally gonna balance the budget", ">\n\nDecember's hilarious. I want this calender.", ">\n\nYou can totally tell that this is not real. The lighting on the cats is so obviously different than the environmental mistake. Pathetic effort infrastructure geeks.", ">\n\nSo they can blame cats for shoddy workmanship and lax maintenance.", ">\n\nDon't capitalize \"Of\" in titles", ">\n\nWish they'd focus on not taking eight years to permit a fucking project, those lazy excuses for engineers.", ">\n\nYou’re crazy dude. These peeps have built some amazing things. Extremely impressive.", ">\n\nThey used to.", ">\n\n😂", ">\n\nThis whole absurd thing is exactly my sense of humour. LOVE it.", ">\n\nOregon! I've seen the one at Detroit Dam. Sneaky bugger. Hangs out with Bigfoot.", ">\n\nI need this", ">\n\nThat's some adorable terrorism right there.", ">\n\nI remember seeing them, on quad bikes, with a lot of equipment, on Myrtle Beach beaches, I always wondered what they were doing...", ">\n\nI love this sequel to Beginning of the End!", ">\n\nIs there a way I can buy a physical version?", ">\n\nThey're Demo-cats!", ">\n\nAny recommendations of the best way to get this printed semi-professionally? I tried checking Costco photo centre but they make you use a template.", ">\n\nOf course it’s Portland.", ">\n\nKind of disappointing I can't actually buy a printed one. My daughter would love this.", ">\n\nA pretty good idea for a poster. Who doesn't like cats being cats?", ">\n\nI really wish I had become a part of the ACOE but my mother didn't want her only son in the military.", ">\n\nUsace has civilian positions you're employed by the army, but you don't go through basic", ">\n\nI hope they pay more than Nidec.", ">\n\nThanks for sharing! Downloaded and got my new Lock Screen wallpaper.", ">\n\nDecember is 🔥", ">\n\nObligatory Cat Dynamics", ">\n\nPoliticians will say this is the proof of the REAL reason of why our infrastructure is deteriorating, then vote in a measure to hire their friends and family to counter this threat.", ">\n\nI didnt know cats were domestic terrorists like Republicans. lol", ">\n\nThis is the only kind of apocalypse I could see myself getting excited about.", ">\n\nAugust a missed opportunity to have CAT Excavators.", ">\n\nYou have my attention.", ">\n\nSmart move", ">\n\nGod help us.", ">\n\nBest thing to come out of the Army post WWII.", ">\n\n🤔", ">\n\n\"Let's write a two paragraph article about something freely available on the internet and make absolutely no attempt to actually tell you where to find it\".", ">\n\nCatjira!", ">\n\nhilarious!", ">\n\nFinally", ">\n\nThis is the oniony-est story I’ve seen on here in a while", ">\n\nCant wait for the next spending bill to include cat proofing our infrastructure", ">\n\nHonestly… I’d buy it.", ">\n\nWish I would have heard of that in November or so. This seems unique, fun and a great idea for a calendar.", ">\n\nI heard about this from Last Podcast on the Left, glad to see it pop up on my feed with pictures!", ">\n\nI'm gonna need an NSN For that...", ">\n\nOf course it’s the Portland District", ">\n\nHonestly this is worth buying", ">\n\nIm not a cat person, but I would buy the calendar.", ">\n\nAny way to view the album without losing my mind on that website? God it's shit on mobile.", ">\n\nI especially love how June just looks like a well framed optical illusion photo.", ">\n\nThis is cute and all, but man, it seems a little poor in taste that August is a kitty-shaped military drone blowing up an Iraqi preschool", ">\n\nWhat did Oregon do to deserve this", ">\n\nGee I read that and instantly I thought they had done a study and released an estimated calendar of when an where giant cats would attack infrastructure in 2023. Phew.", ">\n\nOn that day, humanity received a grim reminder…", ">\n\nah yes\nPortland keeping it weird again", ">\n\nit’s cute, but who wrote the copy?", ">\n\nAmazing", ">\n\neverything changed when the cat nation attacked", ">\n\nI'm into it", ">\n\nnow this is what I want my tax dollars going towards", ">\n\nI'd love to believe that there was some huge misunderstanding and somewhere someone had actually meant CATs like the company with the big heavy machinery", ">\n\nThe word \"attacking\" is doing a lot of work here", ">\n\nW", ">\n\nLook, I’m pretty anti-government, but this I can get behind", ">\n\nCattack on titan", ">\n\nI'm a civil engineer.\nI would fucking LOVE this.\nThis'll go good in my office next to my other engineering / math punny comics.\nLike this one.\nOr this one.\nOr, maybe this one.", ">\n\nThe Only well spent part of the military budget" ]

[ "Imagine the work order. \nYour boss comes to you and says, \"Hey, you're in charge of the cats calendar.\"\n\"What calendar?\"\n\"The one with cats attacking infrastructure?\"\n\"What?\"", ">\n\nyou miss ONE day...", ">\n\nHail Vectron!", ">\n\nBy Vectron!", ">\n\nFor those yet to experience the holy might of Vectron's kindly claw", ">\n\nThank you. I had no idea.", ">\n\nYou are most welcome by Vectron", ">\n\nFor the love of all that is Vectron, your speech warms my Vectronic heart.", ">\n\nMay Vectron’s beard shed its benevolence upon us. 🙏🏻🙏🏻", ">\n\nAnd may all of his correspondence to us be sent Vectronically. So it is written, so shall it be done.", ">\n\nI live in Oregon and started to recognize a bunch of the dams, so I was like, “huh, that’s kinda cool.” Then I saw the text at the bottom of the first page. Portland District. Now a cat calendar makes perfect sense.", ">\n\nSame thing happened to me. I think I'm going to head to kinko's and have them print it out for me.", ">\n\nTell them you need to print some important official military documents before you show them what it is", ">\n\nDon’t forget to tell them you need it right meow!", ">\n\nWho will protect our infrastructure from this menace?", ">\n\nAn array of laser pointers.", ">\n\ncut to giant laser pointer satellite", ">\n\nomigod the jewish space lasers were real", ">\n\n*meowish space lasers", ">\n\nHey that's racist", ">\n\nI think it would be cheaper to buy a calendar than use the ink/toner required to print it.", ">\n\nThat's why you print it at work.", ">\n\nhaha true, oh wait I work from home...", ">\n\nIf you print from home for work you can write printer supplies off on your taxes :)", ">\n\nUh yes boss I needed a calendar, so… oh what? Use the company one? Ummm but the US army has a really nice one and I thought I’d be patriotic - what? Oh, yeah I know we’re in Canada, I just…", ">\n\nPortland is pretty much wannabe Vancouver, BC. I say it goes!", ">\n\nExactly what a Canadian would say...", ">\n\nGoodies, goodie goodie, yum yum.", ">\n\nI just scrolled until I found The Goodies reference but was wondering if I was going to find one at all.", ">\n\nIt's way down the list, isn't it? \n/knees hurt.", ">\n\nOw, my back! Get off my lawn!", ">\n\nOne engineer did it in his free time, and released it for use through the corps. \nThis was NOT government funded.", ">\n\nEven if it was government funded, I support this.", ">\n\nEven if it was government funded it would've been like maybe one day of pay at most? Not a ton for the amount of publicity they'll get that might make them even more money.", ">\n\nAssuming they already have the infrastructure pictures I would be surprised if it took more than 4 work hours. Also for chronically underfunded agencies that kind of PR is exactly how you get voters to convince the politicians to increase funds. I look forward to NASA figuring out how to photoshop giant cats playing with the planets like balls of yarn for their calendar", ">\n\n\nI look forward to NASA figuring out how to photoshop giant cats playing with the planets like balls of yarn for their calendar \n\nWell let me introduce you to the most bizarre social media messaging from an official U.S. government agency: The U.S. Consumer Product Safety Commission's Instagram feed. \nAnd before I catch any \"there's no way this is real\" replies, here's the Washington Post covering it: \n\nHow a federal bureaucrat uses astronaut babies and dogs riding pigeons to try to save your life", ">\n\nThis is rad!", ">\n\nCISA losing their shit rn", ">\n\nI would like one.", ">\n\nIt's a free PDF.", ">\n\nNo he would like one of the cats", ">\n\nyOu wOuLdN'T DoWnloAd a cAT", ">\n\nI can’t believe they included Sherlock getting knocked off a cliff. At least he didn’t jump this time.", ">\n\nI'm shocked that you're the only person I've seen comment on this so far! it's hilarious", ">\n\n\"Every year, dozens of cats attack important infrastructure for our country causing dozens of dollars of damage. Won't you help?\"", ">\n\nI heard this with Sarah McLoughlin's voice", ">\n\nArmy Cats", ">\n\nNow do it with pictures of our crumbling infrastructure.", ">\n\nThis seems like one of those things that is somehow going to age poorly given our Universe's current sense of irony. I don't know how exactly, but there's going to be some mass tragedy involving cats and a suspension bridge or something this year.", ">\n\nThe first image kind of reads like \"this infrastructure is super important so don't damage it\". The calendar almost seems like a shopping list for domestic terrorists or something lol.", ">\n\nI mean, pretty obvious that dams, substations, bridges and the like are good targets for chaos. Google maps gives you all this plus Police stations and everything, with photos and the address. Useless to worry about it", ">\n\nSeriously, anyone who unironicly think terrorists were waiting for a cat calendar to list a bunch of locations to bomb is paranoid about the wrong things.", ">\n\nCats would hunt and eat us if they were bigger than us", ">\n\nThey already do, they are called Tigers.", ">\n\nIf there were smaller tigers, we would keep them as pets, but they'd break all our stuff to prove they're still in charge.", ">\n\nThey already do, they are called Cats.", ">\n\nOH MY GOD!", ">\n\nMy tabby is a cute little tiger", ">\n\nI knew we had infrastructure challenges, but I didn't realize we were facing an infrastructure cat-astrophe!", ">\n\nTake my r/angryupvote", ">\n\nI love how shitty the photoshop is. Really ties it all together", ">\n\nYeah I like the idea--but the pictures chosen and color grading are all off. I'd like this idea better executed more professionally.", ">\n\nOh no I'm serious. The unprofessionalism is the best part. I would absolutely pay money for this", ">\n\nOnly only thing weirder is gonna be their crazy ass plan to save the infrastructure.", ">\n\nIt's the engineer Corp, they can build giant cat carriers.", ">\n\nI guess anything beats the 40 million they spend on viagra to keep the soldiers saluting.", ">\n\nThis is delightful", ">\n\ni was imagining mountain lions breaking in to dumpsters or something, not giant house cats gnawing on substations, not disappointed.", ">\n\nI don’t need a calendar now that our pocket rectangles handle all of that for us, but I really want this calendar.", ">\n\nIt is really convenient to just walk by my schedule versus having to pull it up, scroll, click and expand. I tend to forget about things if I don’t see it in front of me, but that’s just how my brain works. Plus if you’re on the phone trying to schedule something it’s nice to write it out too.", ">\n\nI'm sorry, we're already booked for giant spiders.", ">\n\nI personally kinda love this.", ">\n\nBest use of a miniscule amount of our tax dollars in the entire US $1.7T budget. US Army Corp wins the internet today!", ">\n\nHonestly, the entire army corps of engineers may be one of highest rates of return on public good vs funding", ">\n\nSeriously. They do a shit ton of quality and important public work on a relatively shoe-string budget for engineering. I have a lot of respect for the people that work at the USACOE.", ">\n\nSeptember, now that one is art", ">\n\nHaters will say it's Photoshop.", ">\n\nThey’ve never seen Catzilla.", ">\n\nHero of the Week! Hail yourself!", ">\n\nThere it is!", ">\n\n\nThe Army Corps Of Engineers Has Released a 2023 Calendar Of Giant Cats Attacking <\n\nr/brand new sentence \nAlso, giant cats attacking infrastructure is so 2020. In 2023 it just sounds silly.", ">\n\nSeptember ❤️", ">\n\nOmg. I love this. Especially the text blurbs on the pictures. Very funny and adorable!", ">\n\nSounds like they understand cats are required if you want social media traction", ">\n\nI have never wanted to buy a calendar more than I do now!", ">\n\nOn the one hand, I applaud the idea.\nOn the other hand, the photoshop skills look like they came from the army corps of engineers.", ">\n\nWould you actually want them to look like they were perfectly matched to each environment? I'm pretty sure the comedic effect is all that matters here.\nAnd besides, it was just one engineer that created this on their spare time, rather than an official ACE production.", ">\n\nI was mainly being a bit snarky because the internet. That, and what I said was objectively true.", ">\n\nCan confirm, the Corps of Engineers fuckkkkks", ">\n\nGoddammit I just bought my 2023 calendar too lol", ">\n\nThat’s cute though, not worrisome like a lot of other r/nottheonion posts.", ">\n\nAs ever, the Army Corps of Engineers are the one branch of the US state that can get the important shit done", ">\n\nFrom the comments ITT it's evident that most people are unaware of how important they are to the lives of the majority of productive people in this country (people who live near a coastline or a major body of water). It's not just dams and rivers, it's the actual physical coastline of america that they look after.", ">\n\nYup, it seems double edged- people think oh, they're the army corps and assumes they must be doing only military stuff. But equally if it was civilianised no doubt it'd be a target for cuts. An incredible org, regardless. And whether it's cats or weather or warming or the collapse of neglected infrastructure they're going to get more and more important so it's a damn good thing they exist because in 2023, nobody would invent them...", ">\n\nUSACE is an agency that is funded by the DOD but is vastly ran by civilians. There are very few enlisted or commissioned people in the army corps.", ">\n\nOK this is a thing and this is awesome", ">\n\nOops, I had \"Zombie Redneck Torture Family\" in the betting pool.", ">\n\nGrumble. Never gonna see a merman...", ">\n\nUSACE Portland District is one of the absolute best public sector social media presences out there. Seriously. Check it out.", ">\n\nCats in military pictures is an entire IG channel", ">\n\nGood boot", ">\n\nCommand team must be TDY", ">\n\nThat was even better than the title made me think it would be.", ">\n\nI support my tax dollars going to causes such as this.", ">\n\nFinally tax dollars doing something good", ">\n\nI’m kind of disappointed. From the title, I thought there would be photos of actual big cats attacking infrastructure, not photoshopped domestic cats. Anyone have a photo of a puma going after an electrical substation? Or a tiger gnawing on a water line?", ">\n\nNo. No one has that. Would be very interesting though to compile a calendar like that. Peace brother.", ">\n\nGreat, now I need a color printer.\nSeriously, thank you u/radioman8414!", ">\n\nThis is how I want my tax money spent. Downloaded and put up in my office!", ">\n\nThe regional social media guy who put this together is constantly hilarious", ">\n\nGreatest calendar of 2023.", ">\n\nI need one of these for my office! I've worked on some of these dams!", ">\n\nCan I ask you some dam questions?? I’m sure you know a lot of dam information. I’m sure all of us would love some dam stories. Thank you.", ">\n\nSure way to have a more interesting calendar than just infrastructure.", ">\n\nI would so adopt one if they existed.", ">\n\nI've heard army corps of engineers are very difficult to house train. May want to consider before adopting one.", ">\n\nTouché.", ">\n\nThat's amazing, thank you for posting it!", ">\n\nIs there anywhere to buy a nice physical copy of the calendar?", ">\n\nThose cats are mind-controlled by taxoplasmosis alien ameobas!", ">\n\nI was thinking this was gonna be mountain lions taking out maintenance huts or something like that. This is so much better", ">\n\nI’m the daughter of a former Portland, Oregon, US Army Corps Engineer, and I can confirm they are a strange crew. It makes me view the dams on the Columbia River fondly?", ">\n\nI love this so much.", ">\n\nDude. Awesome.", ">\n\nI love this! My astronomy teacher once did a talk on space cats. It was hysterical. Out of the blue he showed us pictures of space with cats added in. He felt we needed a fun class for laughs. I want this calendar.", ">\n\nThis would be really cool if they got a decent digital artist. But they didn't, they used photoshop about as well as I can.", ">\n\nI think that adds to the charm", ">\n\nDon't even need to see it, where can I buy it", ">\n\nFrom the link - \"Because the Army Corps is a Government Agency, the calendar is in public domain and totally free to download and print\"", ">\n\nThis is so funny, because it’s my Dad’s old workplace (from 1971 until he retired). My father, however, has zero sense of humor so he’d never work on something like this.", ">\n\nI met a guy from the Army Corps of Engineers when I worked for the EPA. Smartest guy I've ever met and the 2nd most hippe like person I've ever met. I'd like to think he had something to do with this idea.", ">\n\nFinally the massive military budget of the US is put to good use.", ">\n\nThis is awesome. I might have to buy one.", ">\n\nNo need. It's free, though you have to print it yourself if you want a physical copy", ">\n\nThis is so adorable! I approve wholeheartedly.", ">\n\nIt's about time.", ">\n\nSappers lead the way", ">\n\nI have so much love for this.", ">\n\nEhisssayons.", ">\n\nLove it.", ">\n\nUnintended benefits of relaxed Marijuana policies :)", ">\n\nUsace has not relaxed cannabis policies. No federal agency has", ">\n\nThey certainly have relaxed policy, even though federal law hasn't changed. It's legal in my state and the current administration has announced they won't be pursuing user level Marijuana charges at the federal level.\nWake up.", ">\n\nUSACE still falls under the same policies as the rest of the army. They're treated as DA civilians, and subject to periodic biochemical testing and the resultant consequences if they pee hot. The army has, and will not in the foreseeable future, relax any policy regarding marijuana.", ">\n\nAdorable idea; wish they had hired someone better at photoshop", ">\n\nIts a free gag calendar that was probably just put together by someone for fun in their spare time. Considering the state of infrastructure in the US I don't imagine the Corps of Engineers has a lot of extra spending money to throw around", ">\n\nIf they were smart, they would print it for us and sell it. I don't want a crappy calender that I printed on regular paper, I want the real thing and I would be glad to pay for it.", ">\n\nGenius!! This needs to be a trend. Reddit, make it so...", ">\n\nfuck yeah we finally gonna balance the budget", ">\n\nDecember's hilarious. I want this calender.", ">\n\nYou can totally tell that this is not real. The lighting on the cats is so obviously different than the environmental mistake. Pathetic effort infrastructure geeks.", ">\n\nSo they can blame cats for shoddy workmanship and lax maintenance.", ">\n\nDon't capitalize \"Of\" in titles", ">\n\nWish they'd focus on not taking eight years to permit a fucking project, those lazy excuses for engineers.", ">\n\nYou’re crazy dude. These peeps have built some amazing things. Extremely impressive.", ">\n\nThey used to.", ">\n\n😂", ">\n\nThis whole absurd thing is exactly my sense of humour. LOVE it.", ">\n\nOregon! I've seen the one at Detroit Dam. Sneaky bugger. Hangs out with Bigfoot.", ">\n\nI need this", ">\n\nThat's some adorable terrorism right there.", ">\n\nI remember seeing them, on quad bikes, with a lot of equipment, on Myrtle Beach beaches, I always wondered what they were doing...", ">\n\nI love this sequel to Beginning of the End!", ">\n\nIs there a way I can buy a physical version?", ">\n\nThey're Demo-cats!", ">\n\nAny recommendations of the best way to get this printed semi-professionally? I tried checking Costco photo centre but they make you use a template.", ">\n\nOf course it’s Portland.", ">\n\nKind of disappointing I can't actually buy a printed one. My daughter would love this.", ">\n\nA pretty good idea for a poster. Who doesn't like cats being cats?", ">\n\nI really wish I had become a part of the ACOE but my mother didn't want her only son in the military.", ">\n\nUsace has civilian positions you're employed by the army, but you don't go through basic", ">\n\nI hope they pay more than Nidec.", ">\n\nThanks for sharing! Downloaded and got my new Lock Screen wallpaper.", ">\n\nDecember is 🔥", ">\n\nObligatory Cat Dynamics", ">\n\nPoliticians will say this is the proof of the REAL reason of why our infrastructure is deteriorating, then vote in a measure to hire their friends and family to counter this threat.", ">\n\nI didnt know cats were domestic terrorists like Republicans. lol", ">\n\nThis is the only kind of apocalypse I could see myself getting excited about.", ">\n\nAugust a missed opportunity to have CAT Excavators.", ">\n\nYou have my attention.", ">\n\nSmart move", ">\n\nGod help us.", ">\n\nBest thing to come out of the Army post WWII.", ">\n\n🤔", ">\n\n\"Let's write a two paragraph article about something freely available on the internet and make absolutely no attempt to actually tell you where to find it\".", ">\n\nCatjira!", ">\n\nhilarious!", ">\n\nFinally", ">\n\nThis is the oniony-est story I’ve seen on here in a while", ">\n\nCant wait for the next spending bill to include cat proofing our infrastructure", ">\n\nHonestly… I’d buy it.", ">\n\nWish I would have heard of that in November or so. This seems unique, fun and a great idea for a calendar.", ">\n\nI heard about this from Last Podcast on the Left, glad to see it pop up on my feed with pictures!", ">\n\nI'm gonna need an NSN For that...", ">\n\nOf course it’s the Portland District", ">\n\nHonestly this is worth buying", ">\n\nIm not a cat person, but I would buy the calendar.", ">\n\nAny way to view the album without losing my mind on that website? God it's shit on mobile.", ">\n\nI especially love how June just looks like a well framed optical illusion photo.", ">\n\nThis is cute and all, but man, it seems a little poor in taste that August is a kitty-shaped military drone blowing up an Iraqi preschool", ">\n\nWhat did Oregon do to deserve this", ">\n\nGee I read that and instantly I thought they had done a study and released an estimated calendar of when an where giant cats would attack infrastructure in 2023. Phew.", ">\n\nOn that day, humanity received a grim reminder…", ">\n\nah yes\nPortland keeping it weird again", ">\n\nit’s cute, but who wrote the copy?", ">\n\nAmazing", ">\n\neverything changed when the cat nation attacked", ">\n\nI'm into it", ">\n\nnow this is what I want my tax dollars going towards", ">\n\nI'd love to believe that there was some huge misunderstanding and somewhere someone had actually meant CATs like the company with the big heavy machinery", ">\n\nThe word \"attacking\" is doing a lot of work here", ">\n\nW", ">\n\nLook, I’m pretty anti-government, but this I can get behind", ">\n\nCattack on titan", ">\n\nI'm a civil engineer.\nI would fucking LOVE this.\nThis'll go good in my office next to my other engineering / math punny comics.\nLike this one.\nOr this one.\nOr, maybe this one.", ">\n\nThe Only well spent part of the military budget", ">\n\nI might buy it" ]

[ "Imagine the work order. \nYour boss comes to you and says, \"Hey, you're in charge of the cats calendar.\"\n\"What calendar?\"\n\"The one with cats attacking infrastructure?\"\n\"What?\"", ">\n\nyou miss ONE day...", ">\n\nHail Vectron!", ">\n\nBy Vectron!", ">\n\nFor those yet to experience the holy might of Vectron's kindly claw", ">\n\nThank you. I had no idea.", ">\n\nYou are most welcome by Vectron", ">\n\nFor the love of all that is Vectron, your speech warms my Vectronic heart.", ">\n\nMay Vectron’s beard shed its benevolence upon us. 🙏🏻🙏🏻", ">\n\nAnd may all of his correspondence to us be sent Vectronically. So it is written, so shall it be done.", ">\n\nI live in Oregon and started to recognize a bunch of the dams, so I was like, “huh, that’s kinda cool.” Then I saw the text at the bottom of the first page. Portland District. Now a cat calendar makes perfect sense.", ">\n\nSame thing happened to me. I think I'm going to head to kinko's and have them print it out for me.", ">\n\nTell them you need to print some important official military documents before you show them what it is", ">\n\nDon’t forget to tell them you need it right meow!", ">\n\nWho will protect our infrastructure from this menace?", ">\n\nAn array of laser pointers.", ">\n\ncut to giant laser pointer satellite", ">\n\nomigod the jewish space lasers were real", ">\n\n*meowish space lasers", ">\n\nHey that's racist", ">\n\nI think it would be cheaper to buy a calendar than use the ink/toner required to print it.", ">\n\nThat's why you print it at work.", ">\n\nhaha true, oh wait I work from home...", ">\n\nIf you print from home for work you can write printer supplies off on your taxes :)", ">\n\nUh yes boss I needed a calendar, so… oh what? Use the company one? Ummm but the US army has a really nice one and I thought I’d be patriotic - what? Oh, yeah I know we’re in Canada, I just…", ">\n\nPortland is pretty much wannabe Vancouver, BC. I say it goes!", ">\n\nExactly what a Canadian would say...", ">\n\nGoodies, goodie goodie, yum yum.", ">\n\nI just scrolled until I found The Goodies reference but was wondering if I was going to find one at all.", ">\n\nIt's way down the list, isn't it? \n/knees hurt.", ">\n\nOw, my back! Get off my lawn!", ">\n\nOne engineer did it in his free time, and released it for use through the corps. \nThis was NOT government funded.", ">\n\nEven if it was government funded, I support this.", ">\n\nEven if it was government funded it would've been like maybe one day of pay at most? Not a ton for the amount of publicity they'll get that might make them even more money.", ">\n\nAssuming they already have the infrastructure pictures I would be surprised if it took more than 4 work hours. Also for chronically underfunded agencies that kind of PR is exactly how you get voters to convince the politicians to increase funds. I look forward to NASA figuring out how to photoshop giant cats playing with the planets like balls of yarn for their calendar", ">\n\n\nI look forward to NASA figuring out how to photoshop giant cats playing with the planets like balls of yarn for their calendar \n\nWell let me introduce you to the most bizarre social media messaging from an official U.S. government agency: The U.S. Consumer Product Safety Commission's Instagram feed. \nAnd before I catch any \"there's no way this is real\" replies, here's the Washington Post covering it: \n\nHow a federal bureaucrat uses astronaut babies and dogs riding pigeons to try to save your life", ">\n\nThis is rad!", ">\n\nCISA losing their shit rn", ">\n\nI would like one.", ">\n\nIt's a free PDF.", ">\n\nNo he would like one of the cats", ">\n\nyOu wOuLdN'T DoWnloAd a cAT", ">\n\nI can’t believe they included Sherlock getting knocked off a cliff. At least he didn’t jump this time.", ">\n\nI'm shocked that you're the only person I've seen comment on this so far! it's hilarious", ">\n\n\"Every year, dozens of cats attack important infrastructure for our country causing dozens of dollars of damage. Won't you help?\"", ">\n\nI heard this with Sarah McLoughlin's voice", ">\n\nArmy Cats", ">\n\nNow do it with pictures of our crumbling infrastructure.", ">\n\nThis seems like one of those things that is somehow going to age poorly given our Universe's current sense of irony. I don't know how exactly, but there's going to be some mass tragedy involving cats and a suspension bridge or something this year.", ">\n\nThe first image kind of reads like \"this infrastructure is super important so don't damage it\". The calendar almost seems like a shopping list for domestic terrorists or something lol.", ">\n\nI mean, pretty obvious that dams, substations, bridges and the like are good targets for chaos. Google maps gives you all this plus Police stations and everything, with photos and the address. Useless to worry about it", ">\n\nSeriously, anyone who unironicly think terrorists were waiting for a cat calendar to list a bunch of locations to bomb is paranoid about the wrong things.", ">\n\nCats would hunt and eat us if they were bigger than us", ">\n\nThey already do, they are called Tigers.", ">\n\nIf there were smaller tigers, we would keep them as pets, but they'd break all our stuff to prove they're still in charge.", ">\n\nThey already do, they are called Cats.", ">\n\nOH MY GOD!", ">\n\nMy tabby is a cute little tiger", ">\n\nI knew we had infrastructure challenges, but I didn't realize we were facing an infrastructure cat-astrophe!", ">\n\nTake my r/angryupvote", ">\n\nI love how shitty the photoshop is. Really ties it all together", ">\n\nYeah I like the idea--but the pictures chosen and color grading are all off. I'd like this idea better executed more professionally.", ">\n\nOh no I'm serious. The unprofessionalism is the best part. I would absolutely pay money for this", ">\n\nOnly only thing weirder is gonna be their crazy ass plan to save the infrastructure.", ">\n\nIt's the engineer Corp, they can build giant cat carriers.", ">\n\nI guess anything beats the 40 million they spend on viagra to keep the soldiers saluting.", ">\n\nThis is delightful", ">\n\ni was imagining mountain lions breaking in to dumpsters or something, not giant house cats gnawing on substations, not disappointed.", ">\n\nI don’t need a calendar now that our pocket rectangles handle all of that for us, but I really want this calendar.", ">\n\nIt is really convenient to just walk by my schedule versus having to pull it up, scroll, click and expand. I tend to forget about things if I don’t see it in front of me, but that’s just how my brain works. Plus if you’re on the phone trying to schedule something it’s nice to write it out too.", ">\n\nI'm sorry, we're already booked for giant spiders.", ">\n\nI personally kinda love this.", ">\n\nBest use of a miniscule amount of our tax dollars in the entire US $1.7T budget. US Army Corp wins the internet today!", ">\n\nHonestly, the entire army corps of engineers may be one of highest rates of return on public good vs funding", ">\n\nSeriously. They do a shit ton of quality and important public work on a relatively shoe-string budget for engineering. I have a lot of respect for the people that work at the USACOE.", ">\n\nSeptember, now that one is art", ">\n\nHaters will say it's Photoshop.", ">\n\nThey’ve never seen Catzilla.", ">\n\nHero of the Week! Hail yourself!", ">\n\nThere it is!", ">\n\n\nThe Army Corps Of Engineers Has Released a 2023 Calendar Of Giant Cats Attacking <\n\nr/brand new sentence \nAlso, giant cats attacking infrastructure is so 2020. In 2023 it just sounds silly.", ">\n\nSeptember ❤️", ">\n\nOmg. I love this. Especially the text blurbs on the pictures. Very funny and adorable!", ">\n\nSounds like they understand cats are required if you want social media traction", ">\n\nI have never wanted to buy a calendar more than I do now!", ">\n\nOn the one hand, I applaud the idea.\nOn the other hand, the photoshop skills look like they came from the army corps of engineers.", ">\n\nWould you actually want them to look like they were perfectly matched to each environment? I'm pretty sure the comedic effect is all that matters here.\nAnd besides, it was just one engineer that created this on their spare time, rather than an official ACE production.", ">\n\nI was mainly being a bit snarky because the internet. That, and what I said was objectively true.", ">\n\nCan confirm, the Corps of Engineers fuckkkkks", ">\n\nGoddammit I just bought my 2023 calendar too lol", ">\n\nThat’s cute though, not worrisome like a lot of other r/nottheonion posts.", ">\n\nAs ever, the Army Corps of Engineers are the one branch of the US state that can get the important shit done", ">\n\nFrom the comments ITT it's evident that most people are unaware of how important they are to the lives of the majority of productive people in this country (people who live near a coastline or a major body of water). It's not just dams and rivers, it's the actual physical coastline of america that they look after.", ">\n\nYup, it seems double edged- people think oh, they're the army corps and assumes they must be doing only military stuff. But equally if it was civilianised no doubt it'd be a target for cuts. An incredible org, regardless. And whether it's cats or weather or warming or the collapse of neglected infrastructure they're going to get more and more important so it's a damn good thing they exist because in 2023, nobody would invent them...", ">\n\nUSACE is an agency that is funded by the DOD but is vastly ran by civilians. There are very few enlisted or commissioned people in the army corps.", ">\n\nOK this is a thing and this is awesome", ">\n\nOops, I had \"Zombie Redneck Torture Family\" in the betting pool.", ">\n\nGrumble. Never gonna see a merman...", ">\n\nUSACE Portland District is one of the absolute best public sector social media presences out there. Seriously. Check it out.", ">\n\nCats in military pictures is an entire IG channel", ">\n\nGood boot", ">\n\nCommand team must be TDY", ">\n\nThat was even better than the title made me think it would be.", ">\n\nI support my tax dollars going to causes such as this.", ">\n\nFinally tax dollars doing something good", ">\n\nI’m kind of disappointed. From the title, I thought there would be photos of actual big cats attacking infrastructure, not photoshopped domestic cats. Anyone have a photo of a puma going after an electrical substation? Or a tiger gnawing on a water line?", ">\n\nNo. No one has that. Would be very interesting though to compile a calendar like that. Peace brother.", ">\n\nGreat, now I need a color printer.\nSeriously, thank you u/radioman8414!", ">\n\nThis is how I want my tax money spent. Downloaded and put up in my office!", ">\n\nThe regional social media guy who put this together is constantly hilarious", ">\n\nGreatest calendar of 2023.", ">\n\nI need one of these for my office! I've worked on some of these dams!", ">\n\nCan I ask you some dam questions?? I’m sure you know a lot of dam information. I’m sure all of us would love some dam stories. Thank you.", ">\n\nSure way to have a more interesting calendar than just infrastructure.", ">\n\nI would so adopt one if they existed.", ">\n\nI've heard army corps of engineers are very difficult to house train. May want to consider before adopting one.", ">\n\nTouché.", ">\n\nThat's amazing, thank you for posting it!", ">\n\nIs there anywhere to buy a nice physical copy of the calendar?", ">\n\nThose cats are mind-controlled by taxoplasmosis alien ameobas!", ">\n\nI was thinking this was gonna be mountain lions taking out maintenance huts or something like that. This is so much better", ">\n\nI’m the daughter of a former Portland, Oregon, US Army Corps Engineer, and I can confirm they are a strange crew. It makes me view the dams on the Columbia River fondly?", ">\n\nI love this so much.", ">\n\nDude. Awesome.", ">\n\nI love this! My astronomy teacher once did a talk on space cats. It was hysterical. Out of the blue he showed us pictures of space with cats added in. He felt we needed a fun class for laughs. I want this calendar.", ">\n\nThis would be really cool if they got a decent digital artist. But they didn't, they used photoshop about as well as I can.", ">\n\nI think that adds to the charm", ">\n\nDon't even need to see it, where can I buy it", ">\n\nFrom the link - \"Because the Army Corps is a Government Agency, the calendar is in public domain and totally free to download and print\"", ">\n\nThis is so funny, because it’s my Dad’s old workplace (from 1971 until he retired). My father, however, has zero sense of humor so he’d never work on something like this.", ">\n\nI met a guy from the Army Corps of Engineers when I worked for the EPA. Smartest guy I've ever met and the 2nd most hippe like person I've ever met. I'd like to think he had something to do with this idea.", ">\n\nFinally the massive military budget of the US is put to good use.", ">\n\nThis is awesome. I might have to buy one.", ">\n\nNo need. It's free, though you have to print it yourself if you want a physical copy", ">\n\nThis is so adorable! I approve wholeheartedly.", ">\n\nIt's about time.", ">\n\nSappers lead the way", ">\n\nI have so much love for this.", ">\n\nEhisssayons.", ">\n\nLove it.", ">\n\nUnintended benefits of relaxed Marijuana policies :)", ">\n\nUsace has not relaxed cannabis policies. No federal agency has", ">\n\nThey certainly have relaxed policy, even though federal law hasn't changed. It's legal in my state and the current administration has announced they won't be pursuing user level Marijuana charges at the federal level.\nWake up.", ">\n\nUSACE still falls under the same policies as the rest of the army. They're treated as DA civilians, and subject to periodic biochemical testing and the resultant consequences if they pee hot. The army has, and will not in the foreseeable future, relax any policy regarding marijuana.", ">\n\nAdorable idea; wish they had hired someone better at photoshop", ">\n\nIts a free gag calendar that was probably just put together by someone for fun in their spare time. Considering the state of infrastructure in the US I don't imagine the Corps of Engineers has a lot of extra spending money to throw around", ">\n\nIf they were smart, they would print it for us and sell it. I don't want a crappy calender that I printed on regular paper, I want the real thing and I would be glad to pay for it.", ">\n\nGenius!! This needs to be a trend. Reddit, make it so...", ">\n\nfuck yeah we finally gonna balance the budget", ">\n\nDecember's hilarious. I want this calender.", ">\n\nYou can totally tell that this is not real. The lighting on the cats is so obviously different than the environmental mistake. Pathetic effort infrastructure geeks.", ">\n\nSo they can blame cats for shoddy workmanship and lax maintenance.", ">\n\nDon't capitalize \"Of\" in titles", ">\n\nWish they'd focus on not taking eight years to permit a fucking project, those lazy excuses for engineers.", ">\n\nYou’re crazy dude. These peeps have built some amazing things. Extremely impressive.", ">\n\nThey used to.", ">\n\n😂", ">\n\nThis whole absurd thing is exactly my sense of humour. LOVE it.", ">\n\nOregon! I've seen the one at Detroit Dam. Sneaky bugger. Hangs out with Bigfoot.", ">\n\nI need this", ">\n\nThat's some adorable terrorism right there.", ">\n\nI remember seeing them, on quad bikes, with a lot of equipment, on Myrtle Beach beaches, I always wondered what they were doing...", ">\n\nI love this sequel to Beginning of the End!", ">\n\nIs there a way I can buy a physical version?", ">\n\nThey're Demo-cats!", ">\n\nAny recommendations of the best way to get this printed semi-professionally? I tried checking Costco photo centre but they make you use a template.", ">\n\nOf course it’s Portland.", ">\n\nKind of disappointing I can't actually buy a printed one. My daughter would love this.", ">\n\nA pretty good idea for a poster. Who doesn't like cats being cats?", ">\n\nI really wish I had become a part of the ACOE but my mother didn't want her only son in the military.", ">\n\nUsace has civilian positions you're employed by the army, but you don't go through basic", ">\n\nI hope they pay more than Nidec.", ">\n\nThanks for sharing! Downloaded and got my new Lock Screen wallpaper.", ">\n\nDecember is 🔥", ">\n\nObligatory Cat Dynamics", ">\n\nPoliticians will say this is the proof of the REAL reason of why our infrastructure is deteriorating, then vote in a measure to hire their friends and family to counter this threat.", ">\n\nI didnt know cats were domestic terrorists like Republicans. lol", ">\n\nThis is the only kind of apocalypse I could see myself getting excited about.", ">\n\nAugust a missed opportunity to have CAT Excavators.", ">\n\nYou have my attention.", ">\n\nSmart move", ">\n\nGod help us.", ">\n\nBest thing to come out of the Army post WWII.", ">\n\n🤔", ">\n\n\"Let's write a two paragraph article about something freely available on the internet and make absolutely no attempt to actually tell you where to find it\".", ">\n\nCatjira!", ">\n\nhilarious!", ">\n\nFinally", ">\n\nThis is the oniony-est story I’ve seen on here in a while", ">\n\nCant wait for the next spending bill to include cat proofing our infrastructure", ">\n\nHonestly… I’d buy it.", ">\n\nWish I would have heard of that in November or so. This seems unique, fun and a great idea for a calendar.", ">\n\nI heard about this from Last Podcast on the Left, glad to see it pop up on my feed with pictures!", ">\n\nI'm gonna need an NSN For that...", ">\n\nOf course it’s the Portland District", ">\n\nHonestly this is worth buying", ">\n\nIm not a cat person, but I would buy the calendar.", ">\n\nAny way to view the album without losing my mind on that website? God it's shit on mobile.", ">\n\nI especially love how June just looks like a well framed optical illusion photo.", ">\n\nThis is cute and all, but man, it seems a little poor in taste that August is a kitty-shaped military drone blowing up an Iraqi preschool", ">\n\nWhat did Oregon do to deserve this", ">\n\nGee I read that and instantly I thought they had done a study and released an estimated calendar of when an where giant cats would attack infrastructure in 2023. Phew.", ">\n\nOn that day, humanity received a grim reminder…", ">\n\nah yes\nPortland keeping it weird again", ">\n\nit’s cute, but who wrote the copy?", ">\n\nAmazing", ">\n\neverything changed when the cat nation attacked", ">\n\nI'm into it", ">\n\nnow this is what I want my tax dollars going towards", ">\n\nI'd love to believe that there was some huge misunderstanding and somewhere someone had actually meant CATs like the company with the big heavy machinery", ">\n\nThe word \"attacking\" is doing a lot of work here", ">\n\nW", ">\n\nLook, I’m pretty anti-government, but this I can get behind", ">\n\nCattack on titan", ">\n\nI'm a civil engineer.\nI would fucking LOVE this.\nThis'll go good in my office next to my other engineering / math punny comics.\nLike this one.\nOr this one.\nOr, maybe this one.", ">\n\nThe Only well spent part of the military budget", ">\n\nI might buy it", ">\n\nWhat the fuck is that website" ]

[ "Imagine the work order. \nYour boss comes to you and says, \"Hey, you're in charge of the cats calendar.\"\n\"What calendar?\"\n\"The one with cats attacking infrastructure?\"\n\"What?\"", ">\n\nyou miss ONE day...", ">\n\nHail Vectron!", ">\n\nBy Vectron!", ">\n\nFor those yet to experience the holy might of Vectron's kindly claw", ">\n\nThank you. I had no idea.", ">\n\nYou are most welcome by Vectron", ">\n\nFor the love of all that is Vectron, your speech warms my Vectronic heart.", ">\n\nMay Vectron’s beard shed its benevolence upon us. 🙏🏻🙏🏻", ">\n\nAnd may all of his correspondence to us be sent Vectronically. So it is written, so shall it be done.", ">\n\nI live in Oregon and started to recognize a bunch of the dams, so I was like, “huh, that’s kinda cool.” Then I saw the text at the bottom of the first page. Portland District. Now a cat calendar makes perfect sense.", ">\n\nSame thing happened to me. I think I'm going to head to kinko's and have them print it out for me.", ">\n\nTell them you need to print some important official military documents before you show them what it is", ">\n\nDon’t forget to tell them you need it right meow!", ">\n\nWho will protect our infrastructure from this menace?", ">\n\nAn array of laser pointers.", ">\n\ncut to giant laser pointer satellite", ">\n\nomigod the jewish space lasers were real", ">\n\n*meowish space lasers", ">\n\nHey that's racist", ">\n\nI think it would be cheaper to buy a calendar than use the ink/toner required to print it.", ">\n\nThat's why you print it at work.", ">\n\nhaha true, oh wait I work from home...", ">\n\nIf you print from home for work you can write printer supplies off on your taxes :)", ">\n\nUh yes boss I needed a calendar, so… oh what? Use the company one? Ummm but the US army has a really nice one and I thought I’d be patriotic - what? Oh, yeah I know we’re in Canada, I just…", ">\n\nPortland is pretty much wannabe Vancouver, BC. I say it goes!", ">\n\nExactly what a Canadian would say...", ">\n\nGoodies, goodie goodie, yum yum.", ">\n\nI just scrolled until I found The Goodies reference but was wondering if I was going to find one at all.", ">\n\nIt's way down the list, isn't it? \n/knees hurt.", ">\n\nOw, my back! Get off my lawn!", ">\n\nOne engineer did it in his free time, and released it for use through the corps. \nThis was NOT government funded.", ">\n\nEven if it was government funded, I support this.", ">\n\nEven if it was government funded it would've been like maybe one day of pay at most? Not a ton for the amount of publicity they'll get that might make them even more money.", ">\n\nAssuming they already have the infrastructure pictures I would be surprised if it took more than 4 work hours. Also for chronically underfunded agencies that kind of PR is exactly how you get voters to convince the politicians to increase funds. I look forward to NASA figuring out how to photoshop giant cats playing with the planets like balls of yarn for their calendar", ">\n\n\nI look forward to NASA figuring out how to photoshop giant cats playing with the planets like balls of yarn for their calendar \n\nWell let me introduce you to the most bizarre social media messaging from an official U.S. government agency: The U.S. Consumer Product Safety Commission's Instagram feed. \nAnd before I catch any \"there's no way this is real\" replies, here's the Washington Post covering it: \n\nHow a federal bureaucrat uses astronaut babies and dogs riding pigeons to try to save your life", ">\n\nThis is rad!", ">\n\nCISA losing their shit rn", ">\n\nI would like one.", ">\n\nIt's a free PDF.", ">\n\nNo he would like one of the cats", ">\n\nyOu wOuLdN'T DoWnloAd a cAT", ">\n\nI can’t believe they included Sherlock getting knocked off a cliff. At least he didn’t jump this time.", ">\n\nI'm shocked that you're the only person I've seen comment on this so far! it's hilarious", ">\n\n\"Every year, dozens of cats attack important infrastructure for our country causing dozens of dollars of damage. Won't you help?\"", ">\n\nI heard this with Sarah McLoughlin's voice", ">\n\nArmy Cats", ">\n\nNow do it with pictures of our crumbling infrastructure.", ">\n\nThis seems like one of those things that is somehow going to age poorly given our Universe's current sense of irony. I don't know how exactly, but there's going to be some mass tragedy involving cats and a suspension bridge or something this year.", ">\n\nThe first image kind of reads like \"this infrastructure is super important so don't damage it\". The calendar almost seems like a shopping list for domestic terrorists or something lol.", ">\n\nI mean, pretty obvious that dams, substations, bridges and the like are good targets for chaos. Google maps gives you all this plus Police stations and everything, with photos and the address. Useless to worry about it", ">\n\nSeriously, anyone who unironicly think terrorists were waiting for a cat calendar to list a bunch of locations to bomb is paranoid about the wrong things.", ">\n\nCats would hunt and eat us if they were bigger than us", ">\n\nThey already do, they are called Tigers.", ">\n\nIf there were smaller tigers, we would keep them as pets, but they'd break all our stuff to prove they're still in charge.", ">\n\nThey already do, they are called Cats.", ">\n\nOH MY GOD!", ">\n\nMy tabby is a cute little tiger", ">\n\nI knew we had infrastructure challenges, but I didn't realize we were facing an infrastructure cat-astrophe!", ">\n\nTake my r/angryupvote", ">\n\nI love how shitty the photoshop is. Really ties it all together", ">\n\nYeah I like the idea--but the pictures chosen and color grading are all off. I'd like this idea better executed more professionally.", ">\n\nOh no I'm serious. The unprofessionalism is the best part. I would absolutely pay money for this", ">\n\nOnly only thing weirder is gonna be their crazy ass plan to save the infrastructure.", ">\n\nIt's the engineer Corp, they can build giant cat carriers.", ">\n\nI guess anything beats the 40 million they spend on viagra to keep the soldiers saluting.", ">\n\nThis is delightful", ">\n\ni was imagining mountain lions breaking in to dumpsters or something, not giant house cats gnawing on substations, not disappointed.", ">\n\nI don’t need a calendar now that our pocket rectangles handle all of that for us, but I really want this calendar.", ">\n\nIt is really convenient to just walk by my schedule versus having to pull it up, scroll, click and expand. I tend to forget about things if I don’t see it in front of me, but that’s just how my brain works. Plus if you’re on the phone trying to schedule something it’s nice to write it out too.", ">\n\nI'm sorry, we're already booked for giant spiders.", ">\n\nI personally kinda love this.", ">\n\nBest use of a miniscule amount of our tax dollars in the entire US $1.7T budget. US Army Corp wins the internet today!", ">\n\nHonestly, the entire army corps of engineers may be one of highest rates of return on public good vs funding", ">\n\nSeriously. They do a shit ton of quality and important public work on a relatively shoe-string budget for engineering. I have a lot of respect for the people that work at the USACOE.", ">\n\nSeptember, now that one is art", ">\n\nHaters will say it's Photoshop.", ">\n\nThey’ve never seen Catzilla.", ">\n\nHero of the Week! Hail yourself!", ">\n\nThere it is!", ">\n\n\nThe Army Corps Of Engineers Has Released a 2023 Calendar Of Giant Cats Attacking <\n\nr/brand new sentence \nAlso, giant cats attacking infrastructure is so 2020. In 2023 it just sounds silly.", ">\n\nSeptember ❤️", ">\n\nOmg. I love this. Especially the text blurbs on the pictures. Very funny and adorable!", ">\n\nSounds like they understand cats are required if you want social media traction", ">\n\nI have never wanted to buy a calendar more than I do now!", ">\n\nOn the one hand, I applaud the idea.\nOn the other hand, the photoshop skills look like they came from the army corps of engineers.", ">\n\nWould you actually want them to look like they were perfectly matched to each environment? I'm pretty sure the comedic effect is all that matters here.\nAnd besides, it was just one engineer that created this on their spare time, rather than an official ACE production.", ">\n\nI was mainly being a bit snarky because the internet. That, and what I said was objectively true.", ">\n\nCan confirm, the Corps of Engineers fuckkkkks", ">\n\nGoddammit I just bought my 2023 calendar too lol", ">\n\nThat’s cute though, not worrisome like a lot of other r/nottheonion posts.", ">\n\nAs ever, the Army Corps of Engineers are the one branch of the US state that can get the important shit done", ">\n\nFrom the comments ITT it's evident that most people are unaware of how important they are to the lives of the majority of productive people in this country (people who live near a coastline or a major body of water). It's not just dams and rivers, it's the actual physical coastline of america that they look after.", ">\n\nYup, it seems double edged- people think oh, they're the army corps and assumes they must be doing only military stuff. But equally if it was civilianised no doubt it'd be a target for cuts. An incredible org, regardless. And whether it's cats or weather or warming or the collapse of neglected infrastructure they're going to get more and more important so it's a damn good thing they exist because in 2023, nobody would invent them...", ">\n\nUSACE is an agency that is funded by the DOD but is vastly ran by civilians. There are very few enlisted or commissioned people in the army corps.", ">\n\nOK this is a thing and this is awesome", ">\n\nOops, I had \"Zombie Redneck Torture Family\" in the betting pool.", ">\n\nGrumble. Never gonna see a merman...", ">\n\nUSACE Portland District is one of the absolute best public sector social media presences out there. Seriously. Check it out.", ">\n\nCats in military pictures is an entire IG channel", ">\n\nGood boot", ">\n\nCommand team must be TDY", ">\n\nThat was even better than the title made me think it would be.", ">\n\nI support my tax dollars going to causes such as this.", ">\n\nFinally tax dollars doing something good", ">\n\nI’m kind of disappointed. From the title, I thought there would be photos of actual big cats attacking infrastructure, not photoshopped domestic cats. Anyone have a photo of a puma going after an electrical substation? Or a tiger gnawing on a water line?", ">\n\nNo. No one has that. Would be very interesting though to compile a calendar like that. Peace brother.", ">\n\nGreat, now I need a color printer.\nSeriously, thank you u/radioman8414!", ">\n\nThis is how I want my tax money spent. Downloaded and put up in my office!", ">\n\nThe regional social media guy who put this together is constantly hilarious", ">\n\nGreatest calendar of 2023.", ">\n\nI need one of these for my office! I've worked on some of these dams!", ">\n\nCan I ask you some dam questions?? I’m sure you know a lot of dam information. I’m sure all of us would love some dam stories. Thank you.", ">\n\nSure way to have a more interesting calendar than just infrastructure.", ">\n\nI would so adopt one if they existed.", ">\n\nI've heard army corps of engineers are very difficult to house train. May want to consider before adopting one.", ">\n\nTouché.", ">\n\nThat's amazing, thank you for posting it!", ">\n\nIs there anywhere to buy a nice physical copy of the calendar?", ">\n\nThose cats are mind-controlled by taxoplasmosis alien ameobas!", ">\n\nI was thinking this was gonna be mountain lions taking out maintenance huts or something like that. This is so much better", ">\n\nI’m the daughter of a former Portland, Oregon, US Army Corps Engineer, and I can confirm they are a strange crew. It makes me view the dams on the Columbia River fondly?", ">\n\nI love this so much.", ">\n\nDude. Awesome.", ">\n\nI love this! My astronomy teacher once did a talk on space cats. It was hysterical. Out of the blue he showed us pictures of space with cats added in. He felt we needed a fun class for laughs. I want this calendar.", ">\n\nThis would be really cool if they got a decent digital artist. But they didn't, they used photoshop about as well as I can.", ">\n\nI think that adds to the charm", ">\n\nDon't even need to see it, where can I buy it", ">\n\nFrom the link - \"Because the Army Corps is a Government Agency, the calendar is in public domain and totally free to download and print\"", ">\n\nThis is so funny, because it’s my Dad’s old workplace (from 1971 until he retired). My father, however, has zero sense of humor so he’d never work on something like this.", ">\n\nI met a guy from the Army Corps of Engineers when I worked for the EPA. Smartest guy I've ever met and the 2nd most hippe like person I've ever met. I'd like to think he had something to do with this idea.", ">\n\nFinally the massive military budget of the US is put to good use.", ">\n\nThis is awesome. I might have to buy one.", ">\n\nNo need. It's free, though you have to print it yourself if you want a physical copy", ">\n\nThis is so adorable! I approve wholeheartedly.", ">\n\nIt's about time.", ">\n\nSappers lead the way", ">\n\nI have so much love for this.", ">\n\nEhisssayons.", ">\n\nLove it.", ">\n\nUnintended benefits of relaxed Marijuana policies :)", ">\n\nUsace has not relaxed cannabis policies. No federal agency has", ">\n\nThey certainly have relaxed policy, even though federal law hasn't changed. It's legal in my state and the current administration has announced they won't be pursuing user level Marijuana charges at the federal level.\nWake up.", ">\n\nUSACE still falls under the same policies as the rest of the army. They're treated as DA civilians, and subject to periodic biochemical testing and the resultant consequences if they pee hot. The army has, and will not in the foreseeable future, relax any policy regarding marijuana.", ">\n\nAdorable idea; wish they had hired someone better at photoshop", ">\n\nIts a free gag calendar that was probably just put together by someone for fun in their spare time. Considering the state of infrastructure in the US I don't imagine the Corps of Engineers has a lot of extra spending money to throw around", ">\n\nIf they were smart, they would print it for us and sell it. I don't want a crappy calender that I printed on regular paper, I want the real thing and I would be glad to pay for it.", ">\n\nGenius!! This needs to be a trend. Reddit, make it so...", ">\n\nfuck yeah we finally gonna balance the budget", ">\n\nDecember's hilarious. I want this calender.", ">\n\nYou can totally tell that this is not real. The lighting on the cats is so obviously different than the environmental mistake. Pathetic effort infrastructure geeks.", ">\n\nSo they can blame cats for shoddy workmanship and lax maintenance.", ">\n\nDon't capitalize \"Of\" in titles", ">\n\nWish they'd focus on not taking eight years to permit a fucking project, those lazy excuses for engineers.", ">\n\nYou’re crazy dude. These peeps have built some amazing things. Extremely impressive.", ">\n\nThey used to.", ">\n\n😂", ">\n\nThis whole absurd thing is exactly my sense of humour. LOVE it.", ">\n\nOregon! I've seen the one at Detroit Dam. Sneaky bugger. Hangs out with Bigfoot.", ">\n\nI need this", ">\n\nThat's some adorable terrorism right there.", ">\n\nI remember seeing them, on quad bikes, with a lot of equipment, on Myrtle Beach beaches, I always wondered what they were doing...", ">\n\nI love this sequel to Beginning of the End!", ">\n\nIs there a way I can buy a physical version?", ">\n\nThey're Demo-cats!", ">\n\nAny recommendations of the best way to get this printed semi-professionally? I tried checking Costco photo centre but they make you use a template.", ">\n\nOf course it’s Portland.", ">\n\nKind of disappointing I can't actually buy a printed one. My daughter would love this.", ">\n\nA pretty good idea for a poster. Who doesn't like cats being cats?", ">\n\nI really wish I had become a part of the ACOE but my mother didn't want her only son in the military.", ">\n\nUsace has civilian positions you're employed by the army, but you don't go through basic", ">\n\nI hope they pay more than Nidec.", ">\n\nThanks for sharing! Downloaded and got my new Lock Screen wallpaper.", ">\n\nDecember is 🔥", ">\n\nObligatory Cat Dynamics", ">\n\nPoliticians will say this is the proof of the REAL reason of why our infrastructure is deteriorating, then vote in a measure to hire their friends and family to counter this threat.", ">\n\nI didnt know cats were domestic terrorists like Republicans. lol", ">\n\nThis is the only kind of apocalypse I could see myself getting excited about.", ">\n\nAugust a missed opportunity to have CAT Excavators.", ">\n\nYou have my attention.", ">\n\nSmart move", ">\n\nGod help us.", ">\n\nBest thing to come out of the Army post WWII.", ">\n\n🤔", ">\n\n\"Let's write a two paragraph article about something freely available on the internet and make absolutely no attempt to actually tell you where to find it\".", ">\n\nCatjira!", ">\n\nhilarious!", ">\n\nFinally", ">\n\nThis is the oniony-est story I’ve seen on here in a while", ">\n\nCant wait for the next spending bill to include cat proofing our infrastructure", ">\n\nHonestly… I’d buy it.", ">\n\nWish I would have heard of that in November or so. This seems unique, fun and a great idea for a calendar.", ">\n\nI heard about this from Last Podcast on the Left, glad to see it pop up on my feed with pictures!", ">\n\nI'm gonna need an NSN For that...", ">\n\nOf course it’s the Portland District", ">\n\nHonestly this is worth buying", ">\n\nIm not a cat person, but I would buy the calendar.", ">\n\nAny way to view the album without losing my mind on that website? God it's shit on mobile.", ">\n\nI especially love how June just looks like a well framed optical illusion photo.", ">\n\nThis is cute and all, but man, it seems a little poor in taste that August is a kitty-shaped military drone blowing up an Iraqi preschool", ">\n\nWhat did Oregon do to deserve this", ">\n\nGee I read that and instantly I thought they had done a study and released an estimated calendar of when an where giant cats would attack infrastructure in 2023. Phew.", ">\n\nOn that day, humanity received a grim reminder…", ">\n\nah yes\nPortland keeping it weird again", ">\n\nit’s cute, but who wrote the copy?", ">\n\nAmazing", ">\n\neverything changed when the cat nation attacked", ">\n\nI'm into it", ">\n\nnow this is what I want my tax dollars going towards", ">\n\nI'd love to believe that there was some huge misunderstanding and somewhere someone had actually meant CATs like the company with the big heavy machinery", ">\n\nThe word \"attacking\" is doing a lot of work here", ">\n\nW", ">\n\nLook, I’m pretty anti-government, but this I can get behind", ">\n\nCattack on titan", ">\n\nI'm a civil engineer.\nI would fucking LOVE this.\nThis'll go good in my office next to my other engineering / math punny comics.\nLike this one.\nOr this one.\nOr, maybe this one.", ">\n\nThe Only well spent part of the military budget", ">\n\nI might buy it", ">\n\nWhat the fuck is that website", ">\n\nThis is great!" ]

[ "Imagine the work order. \nYour boss comes to you and says, \"Hey, you're in charge of the cats calendar.\"\n\"What calendar?\"\n\"The one with cats attacking infrastructure?\"\n\"What?\"", ">\n\nyou miss ONE day...", ">\n\nHail Vectron!", ">\n\nBy Vectron!", ">\n\nFor those yet to experience the holy might of Vectron's kindly claw", ">\n\nThank you. I had no idea.", ">\n\nYou are most welcome by Vectron", ">\n\nFor the love of all that is Vectron, your speech warms my Vectronic heart.", ">\n\nMay Vectron’s beard shed its benevolence upon us. 🙏🏻🙏🏻", ">\n\nAnd may all of his correspondence to us be sent Vectronically. So it is written, so shall it be done.", ">\n\nI live in Oregon and started to recognize a bunch of the dams, so I was like, “huh, that’s kinda cool.” Then I saw the text at the bottom of the first page. Portland District. Now a cat calendar makes perfect sense.", ">\n\nSame thing happened to me. I think I'm going to head to kinko's and have them print it out for me.", ">\n\nTell them you need to print some important official military documents before you show them what it is", ">\n\nDon’t forget to tell them you need it right meow!", ">\n\nWho will protect our infrastructure from this menace?", ">\n\nAn array of laser pointers.", ">\n\ncut to giant laser pointer satellite", ">\n\nomigod the jewish space lasers were real", ">\n\n*meowish space lasers", ">\n\nHey that's racist", ">\n\nI think it would be cheaper to buy a calendar than use the ink/toner required to print it.", ">\n\nThat's why you print it at work.", ">\n\nhaha true, oh wait I work from home...", ">\n\nIf you print from home for work you can write printer supplies off on your taxes :)", ">\n\nUh yes boss I needed a calendar, so… oh what? Use the company one? Ummm but the US army has a really nice one and I thought I’d be patriotic - what? Oh, yeah I know we’re in Canada, I just…", ">\n\nPortland is pretty much wannabe Vancouver, BC. I say it goes!", ">\n\nExactly what a Canadian would say...", ">\n\nGoodies, goodie goodie, yum yum.", ">\n\nI just scrolled until I found The Goodies reference but was wondering if I was going to find one at all.", ">\n\nIt's way down the list, isn't it? \n/knees hurt.", ">\n\nOw, my back! Get off my lawn!", ">\n\nOne engineer did it in his free time, and released it for use through the corps. \nThis was NOT government funded.", ">\n\nEven if it was government funded, I support this.", ">\n\nEven if it was government funded it would've been like maybe one day of pay at most? Not a ton for the amount of publicity they'll get that might make them even more money.", ">\n\nAssuming they already have the infrastructure pictures I would be surprised if it took more than 4 work hours. Also for chronically underfunded agencies that kind of PR is exactly how you get voters to convince the politicians to increase funds. I look forward to NASA figuring out how to photoshop giant cats playing with the planets like balls of yarn for their calendar", ">\n\n\nI look forward to NASA figuring out how to photoshop giant cats playing with the planets like balls of yarn for their calendar \n\nWell let me introduce you to the most bizarre social media messaging from an official U.S. government agency: The U.S. Consumer Product Safety Commission's Instagram feed. \nAnd before I catch any \"there's no way this is real\" replies, here's the Washington Post covering it: \n\nHow a federal bureaucrat uses astronaut babies and dogs riding pigeons to try to save your life", ">\n\nThis is rad!", ">\n\nCISA losing their shit rn", ">\n\nI would like one.", ">\n\nIt's a free PDF.", ">\n\nNo he would like one of the cats", ">\n\nyOu wOuLdN'T DoWnloAd a cAT", ">\n\nI can’t believe they included Sherlock getting knocked off a cliff. At least he didn’t jump this time.", ">\n\nI'm shocked that you're the only person I've seen comment on this so far! it's hilarious", ">\n\n\"Every year, dozens of cats attack important infrastructure for our country causing dozens of dollars of damage. Won't you help?\"", ">\n\nI heard this with Sarah McLoughlin's voice", ">\n\nArmy Cats", ">\n\nNow do it with pictures of our crumbling infrastructure.", ">\n\nThis seems like one of those things that is somehow going to age poorly given our Universe's current sense of irony. I don't know how exactly, but there's going to be some mass tragedy involving cats and a suspension bridge or something this year.", ">\n\nThe first image kind of reads like \"this infrastructure is super important so don't damage it\". The calendar almost seems like a shopping list for domestic terrorists or something lol.", ">\n\nI mean, pretty obvious that dams, substations, bridges and the like are good targets for chaos. Google maps gives you all this plus Police stations and everything, with photos and the address. Useless to worry about it", ">\n\nSeriously, anyone who unironicly think terrorists were waiting for a cat calendar to list a bunch of locations to bomb is paranoid about the wrong things.", ">\n\nCats would hunt and eat us if they were bigger than us", ">\n\nThey already do, they are called Tigers.", ">\n\nIf there were smaller tigers, we would keep them as pets, but they'd break all our stuff to prove they're still in charge.", ">\n\nThey already do, they are called Cats.", ">\n\nOH MY GOD!", ">\n\nMy tabby is a cute little tiger", ">\n\nI knew we had infrastructure challenges, but I didn't realize we were facing an infrastructure cat-astrophe!", ">\n\nTake my r/angryupvote", ">\n\nI love how shitty the photoshop is. Really ties it all together", ">\n\nYeah I like the idea--but the pictures chosen and color grading are all off. I'd like this idea better executed more professionally.", ">\n\nOh no I'm serious. The unprofessionalism is the best part. I would absolutely pay money for this", ">\n\nOnly only thing weirder is gonna be their crazy ass plan to save the infrastructure.", ">\n\nIt's the engineer Corp, they can build giant cat carriers.", ">\n\nI guess anything beats the 40 million they spend on viagra to keep the soldiers saluting.", ">\n\nThis is delightful", ">\n\ni was imagining mountain lions breaking in to dumpsters or something, not giant house cats gnawing on substations, not disappointed.", ">\n\nI don’t need a calendar now that our pocket rectangles handle all of that for us, but I really want this calendar.", ">\n\nIt is really convenient to just walk by my schedule versus having to pull it up, scroll, click and expand. I tend to forget about things if I don’t see it in front of me, but that’s just how my brain works. Plus if you’re on the phone trying to schedule something it’s nice to write it out too.", ">\n\nI'm sorry, we're already booked for giant spiders.", ">\n\nI personally kinda love this.", ">\n\nBest use of a miniscule amount of our tax dollars in the entire US $1.7T budget. US Army Corp wins the internet today!", ">\n\nHonestly, the entire army corps of engineers may be one of highest rates of return on public good vs funding", ">\n\nSeriously. They do a shit ton of quality and important public work on a relatively shoe-string budget for engineering. I have a lot of respect for the people that work at the USACOE.", ">\n\nSeptember, now that one is art", ">\n\nHaters will say it's Photoshop.", ">\n\nThey’ve never seen Catzilla.", ">\n\nHero of the Week! Hail yourself!", ">\n\nThere it is!", ">\n\n\nThe Army Corps Of Engineers Has Released a 2023 Calendar Of Giant Cats Attacking <\n\nr/brand new sentence \nAlso, giant cats attacking infrastructure is so 2020. In 2023 it just sounds silly.", ">\n\nSeptember ❤️", ">\n\nOmg. I love this. Especially the text blurbs on the pictures. Very funny and adorable!", ">\n\nSounds like they understand cats are required if you want social media traction", ">\n\nI have never wanted to buy a calendar more than I do now!", ">\n\nOn the one hand, I applaud the idea.\nOn the other hand, the photoshop skills look like they came from the army corps of engineers.", ">\n\nWould you actually want them to look like they were perfectly matched to each environment? I'm pretty sure the comedic effect is all that matters here.\nAnd besides, it was just one engineer that created this on their spare time, rather than an official ACE production.", ">\n\nI was mainly being a bit snarky because the internet. That, and what I said was objectively true.", ">\n\nCan confirm, the Corps of Engineers fuckkkkks", ">\n\nGoddammit I just bought my 2023 calendar too lol", ">\n\nThat’s cute though, not worrisome like a lot of other r/nottheonion posts.", ">\n\nAs ever, the Army Corps of Engineers are the one branch of the US state that can get the important shit done", ">\n\nFrom the comments ITT it's evident that most people are unaware of how important they are to the lives of the majority of productive people in this country (people who live near a coastline or a major body of water). It's not just dams and rivers, it's the actual physical coastline of america that they look after.", ">\n\nYup, it seems double edged- people think oh, they're the army corps and assumes they must be doing only military stuff. But equally if it was civilianised no doubt it'd be a target for cuts. An incredible org, regardless. And whether it's cats or weather or warming or the collapse of neglected infrastructure they're going to get more and more important so it's a damn good thing they exist because in 2023, nobody would invent them...", ">\n\nUSACE is an agency that is funded by the DOD but is vastly ran by civilians. There are very few enlisted or commissioned people in the army corps.", ">\n\nOK this is a thing and this is awesome", ">\n\nOops, I had \"Zombie Redneck Torture Family\" in the betting pool.", ">\n\nGrumble. Never gonna see a merman...", ">\n\nUSACE Portland District is one of the absolute best public sector social media presences out there. Seriously. Check it out.", ">\n\nCats in military pictures is an entire IG channel", ">\n\nGood boot", ">\n\nCommand team must be TDY", ">\n\nThat was even better than the title made me think it would be.", ">\n\nI support my tax dollars going to causes such as this.", ">\n\nFinally tax dollars doing something good", ">\n\nI’m kind of disappointed. From the title, I thought there would be photos of actual big cats attacking infrastructure, not photoshopped domestic cats. Anyone have a photo of a puma going after an electrical substation? Or a tiger gnawing on a water line?", ">\n\nNo. No one has that. Would be very interesting though to compile a calendar like that. Peace brother.", ">\n\nGreat, now I need a color printer.\nSeriously, thank you u/radioman8414!", ">\n\nThis is how I want my tax money spent. Downloaded and put up in my office!", ">\n\nThe regional social media guy who put this together is constantly hilarious", ">\n\nGreatest calendar of 2023.", ">\n\nI need one of these for my office! I've worked on some of these dams!", ">\n\nCan I ask you some dam questions?? I’m sure you know a lot of dam information. I’m sure all of us would love some dam stories. Thank you.", ">\n\nSure way to have a more interesting calendar than just infrastructure.", ">\n\nI would so adopt one if they existed.", ">\n\nI've heard army corps of engineers are very difficult to house train. May want to consider before adopting one.", ">\n\nTouché.", ">\n\nThat's amazing, thank you for posting it!", ">\n\nIs there anywhere to buy a nice physical copy of the calendar?", ">\n\nThose cats are mind-controlled by taxoplasmosis alien ameobas!", ">\n\nI was thinking this was gonna be mountain lions taking out maintenance huts or something like that. This is so much better", ">\n\nI’m the daughter of a former Portland, Oregon, US Army Corps Engineer, and I can confirm they are a strange crew. It makes me view the dams on the Columbia River fondly?", ">\n\nI love this so much.", ">\n\nDude. Awesome.", ">\n\nI love this! My astronomy teacher once did a talk on space cats. It was hysterical. Out of the blue he showed us pictures of space with cats added in. He felt we needed a fun class for laughs. I want this calendar.", ">\n\nThis would be really cool if they got a decent digital artist. But they didn't, they used photoshop about as well as I can.", ">\n\nI think that adds to the charm", ">\n\nDon't even need to see it, where can I buy it", ">\n\nFrom the link - \"Because the Army Corps is a Government Agency, the calendar is in public domain and totally free to download and print\"", ">\n\nThis is so funny, because it’s my Dad’s old workplace (from 1971 until he retired). My father, however, has zero sense of humor so he’d never work on something like this.", ">\n\nI met a guy from the Army Corps of Engineers when I worked for the EPA. Smartest guy I've ever met and the 2nd most hippe like person I've ever met. I'd like to think he had something to do with this idea.", ">\n\nFinally the massive military budget of the US is put to good use.", ">\n\nThis is awesome. I might have to buy one.", ">\n\nNo need. It's free, though you have to print it yourself if you want a physical copy", ">\n\nThis is so adorable! I approve wholeheartedly.", ">\n\nIt's about time.", ">\n\nSappers lead the way", ">\n\nI have so much love for this.", ">\n\nEhisssayons.", ">\n\nLove it.", ">\n\nUnintended benefits of relaxed Marijuana policies :)", ">\n\nUsace has not relaxed cannabis policies. No federal agency has", ">\n\nThey certainly have relaxed policy, even though federal law hasn't changed. It's legal in my state and the current administration has announced they won't be pursuing user level Marijuana charges at the federal level.\nWake up.", ">\n\nUSACE still falls under the same policies as the rest of the army. They're treated as DA civilians, and subject to periodic biochemical testing and the resultant consequences if they pee hot. The army has, and will not in the foreseeable future, relax any policy regarding marijuana.", ">\n\nAdorable idea; wish they had hired someone better at photoshop", ">\n\nIts a free gag calendar that was probably just put together by someone for fun in their spare time. Considering the state of infrastructure in the US I don't imagine the Corps of Engineers has a lot of extra spending money to throw around", ">\n\nIf they were smart, they would print it for us and sell it. I don't want a crappy calender that I printed on regular paper, I want the real thing and I would be glad to pay for it.", ">\n\nGenius!! This needs to be a trend. Reddit, make it so...", ">\n\nfuck yeah we finally gonna balance the budget", ">\n\nDecember's hilarious. I want this calender.", ">\n\nYou can totally tell that this is not real. The lighting on the cats is so obviously different than the environmental mistake. Pathetic effort infrastructure geeks.", ">\n\nSo they can blame cats for shoddy workmanship and lax maintenance.", ">\n\nDon't capitalize \"Of\" in titles", ">\n\nWish they'd focus on not taking eight years to permit a fucking project, those lazy excuses for engineers.", ">\n\nYou’re crazy dude. These peeps have built some amazing things. Extremely impressive.", ">\n\nThey used to.", ">\n\n😂", ">\n\nThis whole absurd thing is exactly my sense of humour. LOVE it.", ">\n\nOregon! I've seen the one at Detroit Dam. Sneaky bugger. Hangs out with Bigfoot.", ">\n\nI need this", ">\n\nThat's some adorable terrorism right there.", ">\n\nI remember seeing them, on quad bikes, with a lot of equipment, on Myrtle Beach beaches, I always wondered what they were doing...", ">\n\nI love this sequel to Beginning of the End!", ">\n\nIs there a way I can buy a physical version?", ">\n\nThey're Demo-cats!", ">\n\nAny recommendations of the best way to get this printed semi-professionally? I tried checking Costco photo centre but they make you use a template.", ">\n\nOf course it’s Portland.", ">\n\nKind of disappointing I can't actually buy a printed one. My daughter would love this.", ">\n\nA pretty good idea for a poster. Who doesn't like cats being cats?", ">\n\nI really wish I had become a part of the ACOE but my mother didn't want her only son in the military.", ">\n\nUsace has civilian positions you're employed by the army, but you don't go through basic", ">\n\nI hope they pay more than Nidec.", ">\n\nThanks for sharing! Downloaded and got my new Lock Screen wallpaper.", ">\n\nDecember is 🔥", ">\n\nObligatory Cat Dynamics", ">\n\nPoliticians will say this is the proof of the REAL reason of why our infrastructure is deteriorating, then vote in a measure to hire their friends and family to counter this threat.", ">\n\nI didnt know cats were domestic terrorists like Republicans. lol", ">\n\nThis is the only kind of apocalypse I could see myself getting excited about.", ">\n\nAugust a missed opportunity to have CAT Excavators.", ">\n\nYou have my attention.", ">\n\nSmart move", ">\n\nGod help us.", ">\n\nBest thing to come out of the Army post WWII.", ">\n\n🤔", ">\n\n\"Let's write a two paragraph article about something freely available on the internet and make absolutely no attempt to actually tell you where to find it\".", ">\n\nCatjira!", ">\n\nhilarious!", ">\n\nFinally", ">\n\nThis is the oniony-est story I’ve seen on here in a while", ">\n\nCant wait for the next spending bill to include cat proofing our infrastructure", ">\n\nHonestly… I’d buy it.", ">\n\nWish I would have heard of that in November or so. This seems unique, fun and a great idea for a calendar.", ">\n\nI heard about this from Last Podcast on the Left, glad to see it pop up on my feed with pictures!", ">\n\nI'm gonna need an NSN For that...", ">\n\nOf course it’s the Portland District", ">\n\nHonestly this is worth buying", ">\n\nIm not a cat person, but I would buy the calendar.", ">\n\nAny way to view the album without losing my mind on that website? God it's shit on mobile.", ">\n\nI especially love how June just looks like a well framed optical illusion photo.", ">\n\nThis is cute and all, but man, it seems a little poor in taste that August is a kitty-shaped military drone blowing up an Iraqi preschool", ">\n\nWhat did Oregon do to deserve this", ">\n\nGee I read that and instantly I thought they had done a study and released an estimated calendar of when an where giant cats would attack infrastructure in 2023. Phew.", ">\n\nOn that day, humanity received a grim reminder…", ">\n\nah yes\nPortland keeping it weird again", ">\n\nit’s cute, but who wrote the copy?", ">\n\nAmazing", ">\n\neverything changed when the cat nation attacked", ">\n\nI'm into it", ">\n\nnow this is what I want my tax dollars going towards", ">\n\nI'd love to believe that there was some huge misunderstanding and somewhere someone had actually meant CATs like the company with the big heavy machinery", ">\n\nThe word \"attacking\" is doing a lot of work here", ">\n\nW", ">\n\nLook, I’m pretty anti-government, but this I can get behind", ">\n\nCattack on titan", ">\n\nI'm a civil engineer.\nI would fucking LOVE this.\nThis'll go good in my office next to my other engineering / math punny comics.\nLike this one.\nOr this one.\nOr, maybe this one.", ">\n\nThe Only well spent part of the military budget", ">\n\nI might buy it", ">\n\nWhat the fuck is that website", ">\n\nThis is great!", ">\n\nAugust is great." ]

[ "Imagine the work order. \nYour boss comes to you and says, \"Hey, you're in charge of the cats calendar.\"\n\"What calendar?\"\n\"The one with cats attacking infrastructure?\"\n\"What?\"", ">\n\nyou miss ONE day...", ">\n\nHail Vectron!", ">\n\nBy Vectron!", ">\n\nFor those yet to experience the holy might of Vectron's kindly claw", ">\n\nThank you. I had no idea.", ">\n\nYou are most welcome by Vectron", ">\n\nFor the love of all that is Vectron, your speech warms my Vectronic heart.", ">\n\nMay Vectron’s beard shed its benevolence upon us. 🙏🏻🙏🏻", ">\n\nAnd may all of his correspondence to us be sent Vectronically. So it is written, so shall it be done.", ">\n\nI live in Oregon and started to recognize a bunch of the dams, so I was like, “huh, that’s kinda cool.” Then I saw the text at the bottom of the first page. Portland District. Now a cat calendar makes perfect sense.", ">\n\nSame thing happened to me. I think I'm going to head to kinko's and have them print it out for me.", ">\n\nTell them you need to print some important official military documents before you show them what it is", ">\n\nDon’t forget to tell them you need it right meow!", ">\n\nWho will protect our infrastructure from this menace?", ">\n\nAn array of laser pointers.", ">\n\ncut to giant laser pointer satellite", ">\n\nomigod the jewish space lasers were real", ">\n\n*meowish space lasers", ">\n\nHey that's racist", ">\n\nI think it would be cheaper to buy a calendar than use the ink/toner required to print it.", ">\n\nThat's why you print it at work.", ">\n\nhaha true, oh wait I work from home...", ">\n\nIf you print from home for work you can write printer supplies off on your taxes :)", ">\n\nUh yes boss I needed a calendar, so… oh what? Use the company one? Ummm but the US army has a really nice one and I thought I’d be patriotic - what? Oh, yeah I know we’re in Canada, I just…", ">\n\nPortland is pretty much wannabe Vancouver, BC. I say it goes!", ">\n\nExactly what a Canadian would say...", ">\n\nGoodies, goodie goodie, yum yum.", ">\n\nI just scrolled until I found The Goodies reference but was wondering if I was going to find one at all.", ">\n\nIt's way down the list, isn't it? \n/knees hurt.", ">\n\nOw, my back! Get off my lawn!", ">\n\nOne engineer did it in his free time, and released it for use through the corps. \nThis was NOT government funded.", ">\n\nEven if it was government funded, I support this.", ">\n\nEven if it was government funded it would've been like maybe one day of pay at most? Not a ton for the amount of publicity they'll get that might make them even more money.", ">\n\nAssuming they already have the infrastructure pictures I would be surprised if it took more than 4 work hours. Also for chronically underfunded agencies that kind of PR is exactly how you get voters to convince the politicians to increase funds. I look forward to NASA figuring out how to photoshop giant cats playing with the planets like balls of yarn for their calendar", ">\n\n\nI look forward to NASA figuring out how to photoshop giant cats playing with the planets like balls of yarn for their calendar \n\nWell let me introduce you to the most bizarre social media messaging from an official U.S. government agency: The U.S. Consumer Product Safety Commission's Instagram feed. \nAnd before I catch any \"there's no way this is real\" replies, here's the Washington Post covering it: \n\nHow a federal bureaucrat uses astronaut babies and dogs riding pigeons to try to save your life", ">\n\nThis is rad!", ">\n\nCISA losing their shit rn", ">\n\nI would like one.", ">\n\nIt's a free PDF.", ">\n\nNo he would like one of the cats", ">\n\nyOu wOuLdN'T DoWnloAd a cAT", ">\n\nI can’t believe they included Sherlock getting knocked off a cliff. At least he didn’t jump this time.", ">\n\nI'm shocked that you're the only person I've seen comment on this so far! it's hilarious", ">\n\n\"Every year, dozens of cats attack important infrastructure for our country causing dozens of dollars of damage. Won't you help?\"", ">\n\nI heard this with Sarah McLoughlin's voice", ">\n\nArmy Cats", ">\n\nNow do it with pictures of our crumbling infrastructure.", ">\n\nThis seems like one of those things that is somehow going to age poorly given our Universe's current sense of irony. I don't know how exactly, but there's going to be some mass tragedy involving cats and a suspension bridge or something this year.", ">\n\nThe first image kind of reads like \"this infrastructure is super important so don't damage it\". The calendar almost seems like a shopping list for domestic terrorists or something lol.", ">\n\nI mean, pretty obvious that dams, substations, bridges and the like are good targets for chaos. Google maps gives you all this plus Police stations and everything, with photos and the address. Useless to worry about it", ">\n\nSeriously, anyone who unironicly think terrorists were waiting for a cat calendar to list a bunch of locations to bomb is paranoid about the wrong things.", ">\n\nCats would hunt and eat us if they were bigger than us", ">\n\nThey already do, they are called Tigers.", ">\n\nIf there were smaller tigers, we would keep them as pets, but they'd break all our stuff to prove they're still in charge.", ">\n\nThey already do, they are called Cats.", ">\n\nOH MY GOD!", ">\n\nMy tabby is a cute little tiger", ">\n\nI knew we had infrastructure challenges, but I didn't realize we were facing an infrastructure cat-astrophe!", ">\n\nTake my r/angryupvote", ">\n\nI love how shitty the photoshop is. Really ties it all together", ">\n\nYeah I like the idea--but the pictures chosen and color grading are all off. I'd like this idea better executed more professionally.", ">\n\nOh no I'm serious. The unprofessionalism is the best part. I would absolutely pay money for this", ">\n\nOnly only thing weirder is gonna be their crazy ass plan to save the infrastructure.", ">\n\nIt's the engineer Corp, they can build giant cat carriers.", ">\n\nI guess anything beats the 40 million they spend on viagra to keep the soldiers saluting.", ">\n\nThis is delightful", ">\n\ni was imagining mountain lions breaking in to dumpsters or something, not giant house cats gnawing on substations, not disappointed.", ">\n\nI don’t need a calendar now that our pocket rectangles handle all of that for us, but I really want this calendar.", ">\n\nIt is really convenient to just walk by my schedule versus having to pull it up, scroll, click and expand. I tend to forget about things if I don’t see it in front of me, but that’s just how my brain works. Plus if you’re on the phone trying to schedule something it’s nice to write it out too.", ">\n\nI'm sorry, we're already booked for giant spiders.", ">\n\nI personally kinda love this.", ">\n\nBest use of a miniscule amount of our tax dollars in the entire US $1.7T budget. US Army Corp wins the internet today!", ">\n\nHonestly, the entire army corps of engineers may be one of highest rates of return on public good vs funding", ">\n\nSeriously. They do a shit ton of quality and important public work on a relatively shoe-string budget for engineering. I have a lot of respect for the people that work at the USACOE.", ">\n\nSeptember, now that one is art", ">\n\nHaters will say it's Photoshop.", ">\n\nThey’ve never seen Catzilla.", ">\n\nHero of the Week! Hail yourself!", ">\n\nThere it is!", ">\n\n\nThe Army Corps Of Engineers Has Released a 2023 Calendar Of Giant Cats Attacking <\n\nr/brand new sentence \nAlso, giant cats attacking infrastructure is so 2020. In 2023 it just sounds silly.", ">\n\nSeptember ❤️", ">\n\nOmg. I love this. Especially the text blurbs on the pictures. Very funny and adorable!", ">\n\nSounds like they understand cats are required if you want social media traction", ">\n\nI have never wanted to buy a calendar more than I do now!", ">\n\nOn the one hand, I applaud the idea.\nOn the other hand, the photoshop skills look like they came from the army corps of engineers.", ">\n\nWould you actually want them to look like they were perfectly matched to each environment? I'm pretty sure the comedic effect is all that matters here.\nAnd besides, it was just one engineer that created this on their spare time, rather than an official ACE production.", ">\n\nI was mainly being a bit snarky because the internet. That, and what I said was objectively true.", ">\n\nCan confirm, the Corps of Engineers fuckkkkks", ">\n\nGoddammit I just bought my 2023 calendar too lol", ">\n\nThat’s cute though, not worrisome like a lot of other r/nottheonion posts.", ">\n\nAs ever, the Army Corps of Engineers are the one branch of the US state that can get the important shit done", ">\n\nFrom the comments ITT it's evident that most people are unaware of how important they are to the lives of the majority of productive people in this country (people who live near a coastline or a major body of water). It's not just dams and rivers, it's the actual physical coastline of america that they look after.", ">\n\nYup, it seems double edged- people think oh, they're the army corps and assumes they must be doing only military stuff. But equally if it was civilianised no doubt it'd be a target for cuts. An incredible org, regardless. And whether it's cats or weather or warming or the collapse of neglected infrastructure they're going to get more and more important so it's a damn good thing they exist because in 2023, nobody would invent them...", ">\n\nUSACE is an agency that is funded by the DOD but is vastly ran by civilians. There are very few enlisted or commissioned people in the army corps.", ">\n\nOK this is a thing and this is awesome", ">\n\nOops, I had \"Zombie Redneck Torture Family\" in the betting pool.", ">\n\nGrumble. Never gonna see a merman...", ">\n\nUSACE Portland District is one of the absolute best public sector social media presences out there. Seriously. Check it out.", ">\n\nCats in military pictures is an entire IG channel", ">\n\nGood boot", ">\n\nCommand team must be TDY", ">\n\nThat was even better than the title made me think it would be.", ">\n\nI support my tax dollars going to causes such as this.", ">\n\nFinally tax dollars doing something good", ">\n\nI’m kind of disappointed. From the title, I thought there would be photos of actual big cats attacking infrastructure, not photoshopped domestic cats. Anyone have a photo of a puma going after an electrical substation? Or a tiger gnawing on a water line?", ">\n\nNo. No one has that. Would be very interesting though to compile a calendar like that. Peace brother.", ">\n\nGreat, now I need a color printer.\nSeriously, thank you u/radioman8414!", ">\n\nThis is how I want my tax money spent. Downloaded and put up in my office!", ">\n\nThe regional social media guy who put this together is constantly hilarious", ">\n\nGreatest calendar of 2023.", ">\n\nI need one of these for my office! I've worked on some of these dams!", ">\n\nCan I ask you some dam questions?? I’m sure you know a lot of dam information. I’m sure all of us would love some dam stories. Thank you.", ">\n\nSure way to have a more interesting calendar than just infrastructure.", ">\n\nI would so adopt one if they existed.", ">\n\nI've heard army corps of engineers are very difficult to house train. May want to consider before adopting one.", ">\n\nTouché.", ">\n\nThat's amazing, thank you for posting it!", ">\n\nIs there anywhere to buy a nice physical copy of the calendar?", ">\n\nThose cats are mind-controlled by taxoplasmosis alien ameobas!", ">\n\nI was thinking this was gonna be mountain lions taking out maintenance huts or something like that. This is so much better", ">\n\nI’m the daughter of a former Portland, Oregon, US Army Corps Engineer, and I can confirm they are a strange crew. It makes me view the dams on the Columbia River fondly?", ">\n\nI love this so much.", ">\n\nDude. Awesome.", ">\n\nI love this! My astronomy teacher once did a talk on space cats. It was hysterical. Out of the blue he showed us pictures of space with cats added in. He felt we needed a fun class for laughs. I want this calendar.", ">\n\nThis would be really cool if they got a decent digital artist. But they didn't, they used photoshop about as well as I can.", ">\n\nI think that adds to the charm", ">\n\nDon't even need to see it, where can I buy it", ">\n\nFrom the link - \"Because the Army Corps is a Government Agency, the calendar is in public domain and totally free to download and print\"", ">\n\nThis is so funny, because it’s my Dad’s old workplace (from 1971 until he retired). My father, however, has zero sense of humor so he’d never work on something like this.", ">\n\nI met a guy from the Army Corps of Engineers when I worked for the EPA. Smartest guy I've ever met and the 2nd most hippe like person I've ever met. I'd like to think he had something to do with this idea.", ">\n\nFinally the massive military budget of the US is put to good use.", ">\n\nThis is awesome. I might have to buy one.", ">\n\nNo need. It's free, though you have to print it yourself if you want a physical copy", ">\n\nThis is so adorable! I approve wholeheartedly.", ">\n\nIt's about time.", ">\n\nSappers lead the way", ">\n\nI have so much love for this.", ">\n\nEhisssayons.", ">\n\nLove it.", ">\n\nUnintended benefits of relaxed Marijuana policies :)", ">\n\nUsace has not relaxed cannabis policies. No federal agency has", ">\n\nThey certainly have relaxed policy, even though federal law hasn't changed. It's legal in my state and the current administration has announced they won't be pursuing user level Marijuana charges at the federal level.\nWake up.", ">\n\nUSACE still falls under the same policies as the rest of the army. They're treated as DA civilians, and subject to periodic biochemical testing and the resultant consequences if they pee hot. The army has, and will not in the foreseeable future, relax any policy regarding marijuana.", ">\n\nAdorable idea; wish they had hired someone better at photoshop", ">\n\nIts a free gag calendar that was probably just put together by someone for fun in their spare time. Considering the state of infrastructure in the US I don't imagine the Corps of Engineers has a lot of extra spending money to throw around", ">\n\nIf they were smart, they would print it for us and sell it. I don't want a crappy calender that I printed on regular paper, I want the real thing and I would be glad to pay for it.", ">\n\nGenius!! This needs to be a trend. Reddit, make it so...", ">\n\nfuck yeah we finally gonna balance the budget", ">\n\nDecember's hilarious. I want this calender.", ">\n\nYou can totally tell that this is not real. The lighting on the cats is so obviously different than the environmental mistake. Pathetic effort infrastructure geeks.", ">\n\nSo they can blame cats for shoddy workmanship and lax maintenance.", ">\n\nDon't capitalize \"Of\" in titles", ">\n\nWish they'd focus on not taking eight years to permit a fucking project, those lazy excuses for engineers.", ">\n\nYou’re crazy dude. These peeps have built some amazing things. Extremely impressive.", ">\n\nThey used to.", ">\n\n😂", ">\n\nThis whole absurd thing is exactly my sense of humour. LOVE it.", ">\n\nOregon! I've seen the one at Detroit Dam. Sneaky bugger. Hangs out with Bigfoot.", ">\n\nI need this", ">\n\nThat's some adorable terrorism right there.", ">\n\nI remember seeing them, on quad bikes, with a lot of equipment, on Myrtle Beach beaches, I always wondered what they were doing...", ">\n\nI love this sequel to Beginning of the End!", ">\n\nIs there a way I can buy a physical version?", ">\n\nThey're Demo-cats!", ">\n\nAny recommendations of the best way to get this printed semi-professionally? I tried checking Costco photo centre but they make you use a template.", ">\n\nOf course it’s Portland.", ">\n\nKind of disappointing I can't actually buy a printed one. My daughter would love this.", ">\n\nA pretty good idea for a poster. Who doesn't like cats being cats?", ">\n\nI really wish I had become a part of the ACOE but my mother didn't want her only son in the military.", ">\n\nUsace has civilian positions you're employed by the army, but you don't go through basic", ">\n\nI hope they pay more than Nidec.", ">\n\nThanks for sharing! Downloaded and got my new Lock Screen wallpaper.", ">\n\nDecember is 🔥", ">\n\nObligatory Cat Dynamics", ">\n\nPoliticians will say this is the proof of the REAL reason of why our infrastructure is deteriorating, then vote in a measure to hire their friends and family to counter this threat.", ">\n\nI didnt know cats were domestic terrorists like Republicans. lol", ">\n\nThis is the only kind of apocalypse I could see myself getting excited about.", ">\n\nAugust a missed opportunity to have CAT Excavators.", ">\n\nYou have my attention.", ">\n\nSmart move", ">\n\nGod help us.", ">\n\nBest thing to come out of the Army post WWII.", ">\n\n🤔", ">\n\n\"Let's write a two paragraph article about something freely available on the internet and make absolutely no attempt to actually tell you where to find it\".", ">\n\nCatjira!", ">\n\nhilarious!", ">\n\nFinally", ">\n\nThis is the oniony-est story I’ve seen on here in a while", ">\n\nCant wait for the next spending bill to include cat proofing our infrastructure", ">\n\nHonestly… I’d buy it.", ">\n\nWish I would have heard of that in November or so. This seems unique, fun and a great idea for a calendar.", ">\n\nI heard about this from Last Podcast on the Left, glad to see it pop up on my feed with pictures!", ">\n\nI'm gonna need an NSN For that...", ">\n\nOf course it’s the Portland District", ">\n\nHonestly this is worth buying", ">\n\nIm not a cat person, but I would buy the calendar.", ">\n\nAny way to view the album without losing my mind on that website? God it's shit on mobile.", ">\n\nI especially love how June just looks like a well framed optical illusion photo.", ">\n\nThis is cute and all, but man, it seems a little poor in taste that August is a kitty-shaped military drone blowing up an Iraqi preschool", ">\n\nWhat did Oregon do to deserve this", ">\n\nGee I read that and instantly I thought they had done a study and released an estimated calendar of when an where giant cats would attack infrastructure in 2023. Phew.", ">\n\nOn that day, humanity received a grim reminder…", ">\n\nah yes\nPortland keeping it weird again", ">\n\nit’s cute, but who wrote the copy?", ">\n\nAmazing", ">\n\neverything changed when the cat nation attacked", ">\n\nI'm into it", ">\n\nnow this is what I want my tax dollars going towards", ">\n\nI'd love to believe that there was some huge misunderstanding and somewhere someone had actually meant CATs like the company with the big heavy machinery", ">\n\nThe word \"attacking\" is doing a lot of work here", ">\n\nW", ">\n\nLook, I’m pretty anti-government, but this I can get behind", ">\n\nCattack on titan", ">\n\nI'm a civil engineer.\nI would fucking LOVE this.\nThis'll go good in my office next to my other engineering / math punny comics.\nLike this one.\nOr this one.\nOr, maybe this one.", ">\n\nThe Only well spent part of the military budget", ">\n\nI might buy it", ">\n\nWhat the fuck is that website", ">\n\nThis is great!", ">\n\nAugust is great.", ">\n\nNow the real MVP will tell us how to print this like an actual calendar." ]

[ "Imagine the work order. \nYour boss comes to you and says, \"Hey, you're in charge of the cats calendar.\"\n\"What calendar?\"\n\"The one with cats attacking infrastructure?\"\n\"What?\"", ">\n\nyou miss ONE day...", ">\n\nHail Vectron!", ">\n\nBy Vectron!", ">\n\nFor those yet to experience the holy might of Vectron's kindly claw", ">\n\nThank you. I had no idea.", ">\n\nYou are most welcome by Vectron", ">\n\nFor the love of all that is Vectron, your speech warms my Vectronic heart.", ">\n\nMay Vectron’s beard shed its benevolence upon us. 🙏🏻🙏🏻", ">\n\nAnd may all of his correspondence to us be sent Vectronically. So it is written, so shall it be done.", ">\n\nI live in Oregon and started to recognize a bunch of the dams, so I was like, “huh, that’s kinda cool.” Then I saw the text at the bottom of the first page. Portland District. Now a cat calendar makes perfect sense.", ">\n\nSame thing happened to me. I think I'm going to head to kinko's and have them print it out for me.", ">\n\nTell them you need to print some important official military documents before you show them what it is", ">\n\nDon’t forget to tell them you need it right meow!", ">\n\nWho will protect our infrastructure from this menace?", ">\n\nAn array of laser pointers.", ">\n\ncut to giant laser pointer satellite", ">\n\nomigod the jewish space lasers were real", ">\n\n*meowish space lasers", ">\n\nHey that's racist", ">\n\nI think it would be cheaper to buy a calendar than use the ink/toner required to print it.", ">\n\nThat's why you print it at work.", ">\n\nhaha true, oh wait I work from home...", ">\n\nIf you print from home for work you can write printer supplies off on your taxes :)", ">\n\nUh yes boss I needed a calendar, so… oh what? Use the company one? Ummm but the US army has a really nice one and I thought I’d be patriotic - what? Oh, yeah I know we’re in Canada, I just…", ">\n\nPortland is pretty much wannabe Vancouver, BC. I say it goes!", ">\n\nExactly what a Canadian would say...", ">\n\nGoodies, goodie goodie, yum yum.", ">\n\nI just scrolled until I found The Goodies reference but was wondering if I was going to find one at all.", ">\n\nIt's way down the list, isn't it? \n/knees hurt.", ">\n\nOw, my back! Get off my lawn!", ">\n\nOne engineer did it in his free time, and released it for use through the corps. \nThis was NOT government funded.", ">\n\nEven if it was government funded, I support this.", ">\n\nEven if it was government funded it would've been like maybe one day of pay at most? Not a ton for the amount of publicity they'll get that might make them even more money.", ">\n\nAssuming they already have the infrastructure pictures I would be surprised if it took more than 4 work hours. Also for chronically underfunded agencies that kind of PR is exactly how you get voters to convince the politicians to increase funds. I look forward to NASA figuring out how to photoshop giant cats playing with the planets like balls of yarn for their calendar", ">\n\n\nI look forward to NASA figuring out how to photoshop giant cats playing with the planets like balls of yarn for their calendar \n\nWell let me introduce you to the most bizarre social media messaging from an official U.S. government agency: The U.S. Consumer Product Safety Commission's Instagram feed. \nAnd before I catch any \"there's no way this is real\" replies, here's the Washington Post covering it: \n\nHow a federal bureaucrat uses astronaut babies and dogs riding pigeons to try to save your life", ">\n\nThis is rad!", ">\n\nCISA losing their shit rn", ">\n\nI would like one.", ">\n\nIt's a free PDF.", ">\n\nNo he would like one of the cats", ">\n\nyOu wOuLdN'T DoWnloAd a cAT", ">\n\nI can’t believe they included Sherlock getting knocked off a cliff. At least he didn’t jump this time.", ">\n\nI'm shocked that you're the only person I've seen comment on this so far! it's hilarious", ">\n\n\"Every year, dozens of cats attack important infrastructure for our country causing dozens of dollars of damage. Won't you help?\"", ">\n\nI heard this with Sarah McLoughlin's voice", ">\n\nArmy Cats", ">\n\nNow do it with pictures of our crumbling infrastructure.", ">\n\nThis seems like one of those things that is somehow going to age poorly given our Universe's current sense of irony. I don't know how exactly, but there's going to be some mass tragedy involving cats and a suspension bridge or something this year.", ">\n\nThe first image kind of reads like \"this infrastructure is super important so don't damage it\". The calendar almost seems like a shopping list for domestic terrorists or something lol.", ">\n\nI mean, pretty obvious that dams, substations, bridges and the like are good targets for chaos. Google maps gives you all this plus Police stations and everything, with photos and the address. Useless to worry about it", ">\n\nSeriously, anyone who unironicly think terrorists were waiting for a cat calendar to list a bunch of locations to bomb is paranoid about the wrong things.", ">\n\nCats would hunt and eat us if they were bigger than us", ">\n\nThey already do, they are called Tigers.", ">\n\nIf there were smaller tigers, we would keep them as pets, but they'd break all our stuff to prove they're still in charge.", ">\n\nThey already do, they are called Cats.", ">\n\nOH MY GOD!", ">\n\nMy tabby is a cute little tiger", ">\n\nI knew we had infrastructure challenges, but I didn't realize we were facing an infrastructure cat-astrophe!", ">\n\nTake my r/angryupvote", ">\n\nI love how shitty the photoshop is. Really ties it all together", ">\n\nYeah I like the idea--but the pictures chosen and color grading are all off. I'd like this idea better executed more professionally.", ">\n\nOh no I'm serious. The unprofessionalism is the best part. I would absolutely pay money for this", ">\n\nOnly only thing weirder is gonna be their crazy ass plan to save the infrastructure.", ">\n\nIt's the engineer Corp, they can build giant cat carriers.", ">\n\nI guess anything beats the 40 million they spend on viagra to keep the soldiers saluting.", ">\n\nThis is delightful", ">\n\ni was imagining mountain lions breaking in to dumpsters or something, not giant house cats gnawing on substations, not disappointed.", ">\n\nI don’t need a calendar now that our pocket rectangles handle all of that for us, but I really want this calendar.", ">\n\nIt is really convenient to just walk by my schedule versus having to pull it up, scroll, click and expand. I tend to forget about things if I don’t see it in front of me, but that’s just how my brain works. Plus if you’re on the phone trying to schedule something it’s nice to write it out too.", ">\n\nI'm sorry, we're already booked for giant spiders.", ">\n\nI personally kinda love this.", ">\n\nBest use of a miniscule amount of our tax dollars in the entire US $1.7T budget. US Army Corp wins the internet today!", ">\n\nHonestly, the entire army corps of engineers may be one of highest rates of return on public good vs funding", ">\n\nSeriously. They do a shit ton of quality and important public work on a relatively shoe-string budget for engineering. I have a lot of respect for the people that work at the USACOE.", ">\n\nSeptember, now that one is art", ">\n\nHaters will say it's Photoshop.", ">\n\nThey’ve never seen Catzilla.", ">\n\nHero of the Week! Hail yourself!", ">\n\nThere it is!", ">\n\n\nThe Army Corps Of Engineers Has Released a 2023 Calendar Of Giant Cats Attacking <\n\nr/brand new sentence \nAlso, giant cats attacking infrastructure is so 2020. In 2023 it just sounds silly.", ">\n\nSeptember ❤️", ">\n\nOmg. I love this. Especially the text blurbs on the pictures. Very funny and adorable!", ">\n\nSounds like they understand cats are required if you want social media traction", ">\n\nI have never wanted to buy a calendar more than I do now!", ">\n\nOn the one hand, I applaud the idea.\nOn the other hand, the photoshop skills look like they came from the army corps of engineers.", ">\n\nWould you actually want them to look like they were perfectly matched to each environment? I'm pretty sure the comedic effect is all that matters here.\nAnd besides, it was just one engineer that created this on their spare time, rather than an official ACE production.", ">\n\nI was mainly being a bit snarky because the internet. That, and what I said was objectively true.", ">\n\nCan confirm, the Corps of Engineers fuckkkkks", ">\n\nGoddammit I just bought my 2023 calendar too lol", ">\n\nThat’s cute though, not worrisome like a lot of other r/nottheonion posts.", ">\n\nAs ever, the Army Corps of Engineers are the one branch of the US state that can get the important shit done", ">\n\nFrom the comments ITT it's evident that most people are unaware of how important they are to the lives of the majority of productive people in this country (people who live near a coastline or a major body of water). It's not just dams and rivers, it's the actual physical coastline of america that they look after.", ">\n\nYup, it seems double edged- people think oh, they're the army corps and assumes they must be doing only military stuff. But equally if it was civilianised no doubt it'd be a target for cuts. An incredible org, regardless. And whether it's cats or weather or warming or the collapse of neglected infrastructure they're going to get more and more important so it's a damn good thing they exist because in 2023, nobody would invent them...", ">\n\nUSACE is an agency that is funded by the DOD but is vastly ran by civilians. There are very few enlisted or commissioned people in the army corps.", ">\n\nOK this is a thing and this is awesome", ">\n\nOops, I had \"Zombie Redneck Torture Family\" in the betting pool.", ">\n\nGrumble. Never gonna see a merman...", ">\n\nUSACE Portland District is one of the absolute best public sector social media presences out there. Seriously. Check it out.", ">\n\nCats in military pictures is an entire IG channel", ">\n\nGood boot", ">\n\nCommand team must be TDY", ">\n\nThat was even better than the title made me think it would be.", ">\n\nI support my tax dollars going to causes such as this.", ">\n\nFinally tax dollars doing something good", ">\n\nI’m kind of disappointed. From the title, I thought there would be photos of actual big cats attacking infrastructure, not photoshopped domestic cats. Anyone have a photo of a puma going after an electrical substation? Or a tiger gnawing on a water line?", ">\n\nNo. No one has that. Would be very interesting though to compile a calendar like that. Peace brother.", ">\n\nGreat, now I need a color printer.\nSeriously, thank you u/radioman8414!", ">\n\nThis is how I want my tax money spent. Downloaded and put up in my office!", ">\n\nThe regional social media guy who put this together is constantly hilarious", ">\n\nGreatest calendar of 2023.", ">\n\nI need one of these for my office! I've worked on some of these dams!", ">\n\nCan I ask you some dam questions?? I’m sure you know a lot of dam information. I’m sure all of us would love some dam stories. Thank you.", ">\n\nSure way to have a more interesting calendar than just infrastructure.", ">\n\nI would so adopt one if they existed.", ">\n\nI've heard army corps of engineers are very difficult to house train. May want to consider before adopting one.", ">\n\nTouché.", ">\n\nThat's amazing, thank you for posting it!", ">\n\nIs there anywhere to buy a nice physical copy of the calendar?", ">\n\nThose cats are mind-controlled by taxoplasmosis alien ameobas!", ">\n\nI was thinking this was gonna be mountain lions taking out maintenance huts or something like that. This is so much better", ">\n\nI’m the daughter of a former Portland, Oregon, US Army Corps Engineer, and I can confirm they are a strange crew. It makes me view the dams on the Columbia River fondly?", ">\n\nI love this so much.", ">\n\nDude. Awesome.", ">\n\nI love this! My astronomy teacher once did a talk on space cats. It was hysterical. Out of the blue he showed us pictures of space with cats added in. He felt we needed a fun class for laughs. I want this calendar.", ">\n\nThis would be really cool if they got a decent digital artist. But they didn't, they used photoshop about as well as I can.", ">\n\nI think that adds to the charm", ">\n\nDon't even need to see it, where can I buy it", ">\n\nFrom the link - \"Because the Army Corps is a Government Agency, the calendar is in public domain and totally free to download and print\"", ">\n\nThis is so funny, because it’s my Dad’s old workplace (from 1971 until he retired). My father, however, has zero sense of humor so he’d never work on something like this.", ">\n\nI met a guy from the Army Corps of Engineers when I worked for the EPA. Smartest guy I've ever met and the 2nd most hippe like person I've ever met. I'd like to think he had something to do with this idea.", ">\n\nFinally the massive military budget of the US is put to good use.", ">\n\nThis is awesome. I might have to buy one.", ">\n\nNo need. It's free, though you have to print it yourself if you want a physical copy", ">\n\nThis is so adorable! I approve wholeheartedly.", ">\n\nIt's about time.", ">\n\nSappers lead the way", ">\n\nI have so much love for this.", ">\n\nEhisssayons.", ">\n\nLove it.", ">\n\nUnintended benefits of relaxed Marijuana policies :)", ">\n\nUsace has not relaxed cannabis policies. No federal agency has", ">\n\nThey certainly have relaxed policy, even though federal law hasn't changed. It's legal in my state and the current administration has announced they won't be pursuing user level Marijuana charges at the federal level.\nWake up.", ">\n\nUSACE still falls under the same policies as the rest of the army. They're treated as DA civilians, and subject to periodic biochemical testing and the resultant consequences if they pee hot. The army has, and will not in the foreseeable future, relax any policy regarding marijuana.", ">\n\nAdorable idea; wish they had hired someone better at photoshop", ">\n\nIts a free gag calendar that was probably just put together by someone for fun in their spare time. Considering the state of infrastructure in the US I don't imagine the Corps of Engineers has a lot of extra spending money to throw around", ">\n\nIf they were smart, they would print it for us and sell it. I don't want a crappy calender that I printed on regular paper, I want the real thing and I would be glad to pay for it.", ">\n\nGenius!! This needs to be a trend. Reddit, make it so...", ">\n\nfuck yeah we finally gonna balance the budget", ">\n\nDecember's hilarious. I want this calender.", ">\n\nYou can totally tell that this is not real. The lighting on the cats is so obviously different than the environmental mistake. Pathetic effort infrastructure geeks.", ">\n\nSo they can blame cats for shoddy workmanship and lax maintenance.", ">\n\nDon't capitalize \"Of\" in titles", ">\n\nWish they'd focus on not taking eight years to permit a fucking project, those lazy excuses for engineers.", ">\n\nYou’re crazy dude. These peeps have built some amazing things. Extremely impressive.", ">\n\nThey used to.", ">\n\n😂", ">\n\nThis whole absurd thing is exactly my sense of humour. LOVE it.", ">\n\nOregon! I've seen the one at Detroit Dam. Sneaky bugger. Hangs out with Bigfoot.", ">\n\nI need this", ">\n\nThat's some adorable terrorism right there.", ">\n\nI remember seeing them, on quad bikes, with a lot of equipment, on Myrtle Beach beaches, I always wondered what they were doing...", ">\n\nI love this sequel to Beginning of the End!", ">\n\nIs there a way I can buy a physical version?", ">\n\nThey're Demo-cats!", ">\n\nAny recommendations of the best way to get this printed semi-professionally? I tried checking Costco photo centre but they make you use a template.", ">\n\nOf course it’s Portland.", ">\n\nKind of disappointing I can't actually buy a printed one. My daughter would love this.", ">\n\nA pretty good idea for a poster. Who doesn't like cats being cats?", ">\n\nI really wish I had become a part of the ACOE but my mother didn't want her only son in the military.", ">\n\nUsace has civilian positions you're employed by the army, but you don't go through basic", ">\n\nI hope they pay more than Nidec.", ">\n\nThanks for sharing! Downloaded and got my new Lock Screen wallpaper.", ">\n\nDecember is 🔥", ">\n\nObligatory Cat Dynamics", ">\n\nPoliticians will say this is the proof of the REAL reason of why our infrastructure is deteriorating, then vote in a measure to hire their friends and family to counter this threat.", ">\n\nI didnt know cats were domestic terrorists like Republicans. lol", ">\n\nThis is the only kind of apocalypse I could see myself getting excited about.", ">\n\nAugust a missed opportunity to have CAT Excavators.", ">\n\nYou have my attention.", ">\n\nSmart move", ">\n\nGod help us.", ">\n\nBest thing to come out of the Army post WWII.", ">\n\n🤔", ">\n\n\"Let's write a two paragraph article about something freely available on the internet and make absolutely no attempt to actually tell you where to find it\".", ">\n\nCatjira!", ">\n\nhilarious!", ">\n\nFinally", ">\n\nThis is the oniony-est story I’ve seen on here in a while", ">\n\nCant wait for the next spending bill to include cat proofing our infrastructure", ">\n\nHonestly… I’d buy it.", ">\n\nWish I would have heard of that in November or so. This seems unique, fun and a great idea for a calendar.", ">\n\nI heard about this from Last Podcast on the Left, glad to see it pop up on my feed with pictures!", ">\n\nI'm gonna need an NSN For that...", ">\n\nOf course it’s the Portland District", ">\n\nHonestly this is worth buying", ">\n\nIm not a cat person, but I would buy the calendar.", ">\n\nAny way to view the album without losing my mind on that website? God it's shit on mobile.", ">\n\nI especially love how June just looks like a well framed optical illusion photo.", ">\n\nThis is cute and all, but man, it seems a little poor in taste that August is a kitty-shaped military drone blowing up an Iraqi preschool", ">\n\nWhat did Oregon do to deserve this", ">\n\nGee I read that and instantly I thought they had done a study and released an estimated calendar of when an where giant cats would attack infrastructure in 2023. Phew.", ">\n\nOn that day, humanity received a grim reminder…", ">\n\nah yes\nPortland keeping it weird again", ">\n\nit’s cute, but who wrote the copy?", ">\n\nAmazing", ">\n\neverything changed when the cat nation attacked", ">\n\nI'm into it", ">\n\nnow this is what I want my tax dollars going towards", ">\n\nI'd love to believe that there was some huge misunderstanding and somewhere someone had actually meant CATs like the company with the big heavy machinery", ">\n\nThe word \"attacking\" is doing a lot of work here", ">\n\nW", ">\n\nLook, I’m pretty anti-government, but this I can get behind", ">\n\nCattack on titan", ">\n\nI'm a civil engineer.\nI would fucking LOVE this.\nThis'll go good in my office next to my other engineering / math punny comics.\nLike this one.\nOr this one.\nOr, maybe this one.", ">\n\nThe Only well spent part of the military budget", ">\n\nI might buy it", ">\n\nWhat the fuck is that website", ">\n\nThis is great!", ">\n\nAugust is great.", ">\n\nNow the real MVP will tell us how to print this like an actual calendar.", ">\n\nThe only thing worthy of my tax dollars that the military has done this year." ]

[ "Imagine the work order. \nYour boss comes to you and says, \"Hey, you're in charge of the cats calendar.\"\n\"What calendar?\"\n\"The one with cats attacking infrastructure?\"\n\"What?\"", ">\n\nyou miss ONE day...", ">\n\nHail Vectron!", ">\n\nBy Vectron!", ">\n\nFor those yet to experience the holy might of Vectron's kindly claw", ">\n\nThank you. I had no idea.", ">\n\nYou are most welcome by Vectron", ">\n\nFor the love of all that is Vectron, your speech warms my Vectronic heart.", ">\n\nMay Vectron’s beard shed its benevolence upon us. 🙏🏻🙏🏻", ">\n\nAnd may all of his correspondence to us be sent Vectronically. So it is written, so shall it be done.", ">\n\nI live in Oregon and started to recognize a bunch of the dams, so I was like, “huh, that’s kinda cool.” Then I saw the text at the bottom of the first page. Portland District. Now a cat calendar makes perfect sense.", ">\n\nSame thing happened to me. I think I'm going to head to kinko's and have them print it out for me.", ">\n\nTell them you need to print some important official military documents before you show them what it is", ">\n\nDon’t forget to tell them you need it right meow!", ">\n\nWho will protect our infrastructure from this menace?", ">\n\nAn array of laser pointers.", ">\n\ncut to giant laser pointer satellite", ">\n\nomigod the jewish space lasers were real", ">\n\n*meowish space lasers", ">\n\nHey that's racist", ">\n\nI think it would be cheaper to buy a calendar than use the ink/toner required to print it.", ">\n\nThat's why you print it at work.", ">\n\nhaha true, oh wait I work from home...", ">\n\nIf you print from home for work you can write printer supplies off on your taxes :)", ">\n\nUh yes boss I needed a calendar, so… oh what? Use the company one? Ummm but the US army has a really nice one and I thought I’d be patriotic - what? Oh, yeah I know we’re in Canada, I just…", ">\n\nPortland is pretty much wannabe Vancouver, BC. I say it goes!", ">\n\nExactly what a Canadian would say...", ">\n\nGoodies, goodie goodie, yum yum.", ">\n\nI just scrolled until I found The Goodies reference but was wondering if I was going to find one at all.", ">\n\nIt's way down the list, isn't it? \n/knees hurt.", ">\n\nOw, my back! Get off my lawn!", ">\n\nOne engineer did it in his free time, and released it for use through the corps. \nThis was NOT government funded.", ">\n\nEven if it was government funded, I support this.", ">\n\nEven if it was government funded it would've been like maybe one day of pay at most? Not a ton for the amount of publicity they'll get that might make them even more money.", ">\n\nAssuming they already have the infrastructure pictures I would be surprised if it took more than 4 work hours. Also for chronically underfunded agencies that kind of PR is exactly how you get voters to convince the politicians to increase funds. I look forward to NASA figuring out how to photoshop giant cats playing with the planets like balls of yarn for their calendar", ">\n\n\nI look forward to NASA figuring out how to photoshop giant cats playing with the planets like balls of yarn for their calendar \n\nWell let me introduce you to the most bizarre social media messaging from an official U.S. government agency: The U.S. Consumer Product Safety Commission's Instagram feed. \nAnd before I catch any \"there's no way this is real\" replies, here's the Washington Post covering it: \n\nHow a federal bureaucrat uses astronaut babies and dogs riding pigeons to try to save your life", ">\n\nThis is rad!", ">\n\nCISA losing their shit rn", ">\n\nI would like one.", ">\n\nIt's a free PDF.", ">\n\nNo he would like one of the cats", ">\n\nyOu wOuLdN'T DoWnloAd a cAT", ">\n\nI can’t believe they included Sherlock getting knocked off a cliff. At least he didn’t jump this time.", ">\n\nI'm shocked that you're the only person I've seen comment on this so far! it's hilarious", ">\n\n\"Every year, dozens of cats attack important infrastructure for our country causing dozens of dollars of damage. Won't you help?\"", ">\n\nI heard this with Sarah McLoughlin's voice", ">\n\nArmy Cats", ">\n\nNow do it with pictures of our crumbling infrastructure.", ">\n\nThis seems like one of those things that is somehow going to age poorly given our Universe's current sense of irony. I don't know how exactly, but there's going to be some mass tragedy involving cats and a suspension bridge or something this year.", ">\n\nThe first image kind of reads like \"this infrastructure is super important so don't damage it\". The calendar almost seems like a shopping list for domestic terrorists or something lol.", ">\n\nI mean, pretty obvious that dams, substations, bridges and the like are good targets for chaos. Google maps gives you all this plus Police stations and everything, with photos and the address. Useless to worry about it", ">\n\nSeriously, anyone who unironicly think terrorists were waiting for a cat calendar to list a bunch of locations to bomb is paranoid about the wrong things.", ">\n\nCats would hunt and eat us if they were bigger than us", ">\n\nThey already do, they are called Tigers.", ">\n\nIf there were smaller tigers, we would keep them as pets, but they'd break all our stuff to prove they're still in charge.", ">\n\nThey already do, they are called Cats.", ">\n\nOH MY GOD!", ">\n\nMy tabby is a cute little tiger", ">\n\nI knew we had infrastructure challenges, but I didn't realize we were facing an infrastructure cat-astrophe!", ">\n\nTake my r/angryupvote", ">\n\nI love how shitty the photoshop is. Really ties it all together", ">\n\nYeah I like the idea--but the pictures chosen and color grading are all off. I'd like this idea better executed more professionally.", ">\n\nOh no I'm serious. The unprofessionalism is the best part. I would absolutely pay money for this", ">\n\nOnly only thing weirder is gonna be their crazy ass plan to save the infrastructure.", ">\n\nIt's the engineer Corp, they can build giant cat carriers.", ">\n\nI guess anything beats the 40 million they spend on viagra to keep the soldiers saluting.", ">\n\nThis is delightful", ">\n\ni was imagining mountain lions breaking in to dumpsters or something, not giant house cats gnawing on substations, not disappointed.", ">\n\nI don’t need a calendar now that our pocket rectangles handle all of that for us, but I really want this calendar.", ">\n\nIt is really convenient to just walk by my schedule versus having to pull it up, scroll, click and expand. I tend to forget about things if I don’t see it in front of me, but that’s just how my brain works. Plus if you’re on the phone trying to schedule something it’s nice to write it out too.", ">\n\nI'm sorry, we're already booked for giant spiders.", ">\n\nI personally kinda love this.", ">\n\nBest use of a miniscule amount of our tax dollars in the entire US $1.7T budget. US Army Corp wins the internet today!", ">\n\nHonestly, the entire army corps of engineers may be one of highest rates of return on public good vs funding", ">\n\nSeriously. They do a shit ton of quality and important public work on a relatively shoe-string budget for engineering. I have a lot of respect for the people that work at the USACOE.", ">\n\nSeptember, now that one is art", ">\n\nHaters will say it's Photoshop.", ">\n\nThey’ve never seen Catzilla.", ">\n\nHero of the Week! Hail yourself!", ">\n\nThere it is!", ">\n\n\nThe Army Corps Of Engineers Has Released a 2023 Calendar Of Giant Cats Attacking <\n\nr/brand new sentence \nAlso, giant cats attacking infrastructure is so 2020. In 2023 it just sounds silly.", ">\n\nSeptember ❤️", ">\n\nOmg. I love this. Especially the text blurbs on the pictures. Very funny and adorable!", ">\n\nSounds like they understand cats are required if you want social media traction", ">\n\nI have never wanted to buy a calendar more than I do now!", ">\n\nOn the one hand, I applaud the idea.\nOn the other hand, the photoshop skills look like they came from the army corps of engineers.", ">\n\nWould you actually want them to look like they were perfectly matched to each environment? I'm pretty sure the comedic effect is all that matters here.\nAnd besides, it was just one engineer that created this on their spare time, rather than an official ACE production.", ">\n\nI was mainly being a bit snarky because the internet. That, and what I said was objectively true.", ">\n\nCan confirm, the Corps of Engineers fuckkkkks", ">\n\nGoddammit I just bought my 2023 calendar too lol", ">\n\nThat’s cute though, not worrisome like a lot of other r/nottheonion posts.", ">\n\nAs ever, the Army Corps of Engineers are the one branch of the US state that can get the important shit done", ">\n\nFrom the comments ITT it's evident that most people are unaware of how important they are to the lives of the majority of productive people in this country (people who live near a coastline or a major body of water). It's not just dams and rivers, it's the actual physical coastline of america that they look after.", ">\n\nYup, it seems double edged- people think oh, they're the army corps and assumes they must be doing only military stuff. But equally if it was civilianised no doubt it'd be a target for cuts. An incredible org, regardless. And whether it's cats or weather or warming or the collapse of neglected infrastructure they're going to get more and more important so it's a damn good thing they exist because in 2023, nobody would invent them...", ">\n\nUSACE is an agency that is funded by the DOD but is vastly ran by civilians. There are very few enlisted or commissioned people in the army corps.", ">\n\nOK this is a thing and this is awesome", ">\n\nOops, I had \"Zombie Redneck Torture Family\" in the betting pool.", ">\n\nGrumble. Never gonna see a merman...", ">\n\nUSACE Portland District is one of the absolute best public sector social media presences out there. Seriously. Check it out.", ">\n\nCats in military pictures is an entire IG channel", ">\n\nGood boot", ">\n\nCommand team must be TDY", ">\n\nThat was even better than the title made me think it would be.", ">\n\nI support my tax dollars going to causes such as this.", ">\n\nFinally tax dollars doing something good", ">\n\nI’m kind of disappointed. From the title, I thought there would be photos of actual big cats attacking infrastructure, not photoshopped domestic cats. Anyone have a photo of a puma going after an electrical substation? Or a tiger gnawing on a water line?", ">\n\nNo. No one has that. Would be very interesting though to compile a calendar like that. Peace brother.", ">\n\nGreat, now I need a color printer.\nSeriously, thank you u/radioman8414!", ">\n\nThis is how I want my tax money spent. Downloaded and put up in my office!", ">\n\nThe regional social media guy who put this together is constantly hilarious", ">\n\nGreatest calendar of 2023.", ">\n\nI need one of these for my office! I've worked on some of these dams!", ">\n\nCan I ask you some dam questions?? I’m sure you know a lot of dam information. I’m sure all of us would love some dam stories. Thank you.", ">\n\nSure way to have a more interesting calendar than just infrastructure.", ">\n\nI would so adopt one if they existed.", ">\n\nI've heard army corps of engineers are very difficult to house train. May want to consider before adopting one.", ">\n\nTouché.", ">\n\nThat's amazing, thank you for posting it!", ">\n\nIs there anywhere to buy a nice physical copy of the calendar?", ">\n\nThose cats are mind-controlled by taxoplasmosis alien ameobas!", ">\n\nI was thinking this was gonna be mountain lions taking out maintenance huts or something like that. This is so much better", ">\n\nI’m the daughter of a former Portland, Oregon, US Army Corps Engineer, and I can confirm they are a strange crew. It makes me view the dams on the Columbia River fondly?", ">\n\nI love this so much.", ">\n\nDude. Awesome.", ">\n\nI love this! My astronomy teacher once did a talk on space cats. It was hysterical. Out of the blue he showed us pictures of space with cats added in. He felt we needed a fun class for laughs. I want this calendar.", ">\n\nThis would be really cool if they got a decent digital artist. But they didn't, they used photoshop about as well as I can.", ">\n\nI think that adds to the charm", ">\n\nDon't even need to see it, where can I buy it", ">\n\nFrom the link - \"Because the Army Corps is a Government Agency, the calendar is in public domain and totally free to download and print\"", ">\n\nThis is so funny, because it’s my Dad’s old workplace (from 1971 until he retired). My father, however, has zero sense of humor so he’d never work on something like this.", ">\n\nI met a guy from the Army Corps of Engineers when I worked for the EPA. Smartest guy I've ever met and the 2nd most hippe like person I've ever met. I'd like to think he had something to do with this idea.", ">\n\nFinally the massive military budget of the US is put to good use.", ">\n\nThis is awesome. I might have to buy one.", ">\n\nNo need. It's free, though you have to print it yourself if you want a physical copy", ">\n\nThis is so adorable! I approve wholeheartedly.", ">\n\nIt's about time.", ">\n\nSappers lead the way", ">\n\nI have so much love for this.", ">\n\nEhisssayons.", ">\n\nLove it.", ">\n\nUnintended benefits of relaxed Marijuana policies :)", ">\n\nUsace has not relaxed cannabis policies. No federal agency has", ">\n\nThey certainly have relaxed policy, even though federal law hasn't changed. It's legal in my state and the current administration has announced they won't be pursuing user level Marijuana charges at the federal level.\nWake up.", ">\n\nUSACE still falls under the same policies as the rest of the army. They're treated as DA civilians, and subject to periodic biochemical testing and the resultant consequences if they pee hot. The army has, and will not in the foreseeable future, relax any policy regarding marijuana.", ">\n\nAdorable idea; wish they had hired someone better at photoshop", ">\n\nIts a free gag calendar that was probably just put together by someone for fun in their spare time. Considering the state of infrastructure in the US I don't imagine the Corps of Engineers has a lot of extra spending money to throw around", ">\n\nIf they were smart, they would print it for us and sell it. I don't want a crappy calender that I printed on regular paper, I want the real thing and I would be glad to pay for it.", ">\n\nGenius!! This needs to be a trend. Reddit, make it so...", ">\n\nfuck yeah we finally gonna balance the budget", ">\n\nDecember's hilarious. I want this calender.", ">\n\nYou can totally tell that this is not real. The lighting on the cats is so obviously different than the environmental mistake. Pathetic effort infrastructure geeks.", ">\n\nSo they can blame cats for shoddy workmanship and lax maintenance.", ">\n\nDon't capitalize \"Of\" in titles", ">\n\nWish they'd focus on not taking eight years to permit a fucking project, those lazy excuses for engineers.", ">\n\nYou’re crazy dude. These peeps have built some amazing things. Extremely impressive.", ">\n\nThey used to.", ">\n\n😂", ">\n\nThis whole absurd thing is exactly my sense of humour. LOVE it.", ">\n\nOregon! I've seen the one at Detroit Dam. Sneaky bugger. Hangs out with Bigfoot.", ">\n\nI need this", ">\n\nThat's some adorable terrorism right there.", ">\n\nI remember seeing them, on quad bikes, with a lot of equipment, on Myrtle Beach beaches, I always wondered what they were doing...", ">\n\nI love this sequel to Beginning of the End!", ">\n\nIs there a way I can buy a physical version?", ">\n\nThey're Demo-cats!", ">\n\nAny recommendations of the best way to get this printed semi-professionally? I tried checking Costco photo centre but they make you use a template.", ">\n\nOf course it’s Portland.", ">\n\nKind of disappointing I can't actually buy a printed one. My daughter would love this.", ">\n\nA pretty good idea for a poster. Who doesn't like cats being cats?", ">\n\nI really wish I had become a part of the ACOE but my mother didn't want her only son in the military.", ">\n\nUsace has civilian positions you're employed by the army, but you don't go through basic", ">\n\nI hope they pay more than Nidec.", ">\n\nThanks for sharing! Downloaded and got my new Lock Screen wallpaper.", ">\n\nDecember is 🔥", ">\n\nObligatory Cat Dynamics", ">\n\nPoliticians will say this is the proof of the REAL reason of why our infrastructure is deteriorating, then vote in a measure to hire their friends and family to counter this threat.", ">\n\nI didnt know cats were domestic terrorists like Republicans. lol", ">\n\nThis is the only kind of apocalypse I could see myself getting excited about.", ">\n\nAugust a missed opportunity to have CAT Excavators.", ">\n\nYou have my attention.", ">\n\nSmart move", ">\n\nGod help us.", ">\n\nBest thing to come out of the Army post WWII.", ">\n\n🤔", ">\n\n\"Let's write a two paragraph article about something freely available on the internet and make absolutely no attempt to actually tell you where to find it\".", ">\n\nCatjira!", ">\n\nhilarious!", ">\n\nFinally", ">\n\nThis is the oniony-est story I’ve seen on here in a while", ">\n\nCant wait for the next spending bill to include cat proofing our infrastructure", ">\n\nHonestly… I’d buy it.", ">\n\nWish I would have heard of that in November or so. This seems unique, fun and a great idea for a calendar.", ">\n\nI heard about this from Last Podcast on the Left, glad to see it pop up on my feed with pictures!", ">\n\nI'm gonna need an NSN For that...", ">\n\nOf course it’s the Portland District", ">\n\nHonestly this is worth buying", ">\n\nIm not a cat person, but I would buy the calendar.", ">\n\nAny way to view the album without losing my mind on that website? God it's shit on mobile.", ">\n\nI especially love how June just looks like a well framed optical illusion photo.", ">\n\nThis is cute and all, but man, it seems a little poor in taste that August is a kitty-shaped military drone blowing up an Iraqi preschool", ">\n\nWhat did Oregon do to deserve this", ">\n\nGee I read that and instantly I thought they had done a study and released an estimated calendar of when an where giant cats would attack infrastructure in 2023. Phew.", ">\n\nOn that day, humanity received a grim reminder…", ">\n\nah yes\nPortland keeping it weird again", ">\n\nit’s cute, but who wrote the copy?", ">\n\nAmazing", ">\n\neverything changed when the cat nation attacked", ">\n\nI'm into it", ">\n\nnow this is what I want my tax dollars going towards", ">\n\nI'd love to believe that there was some huge misunderstanding and somewhere someone had actually meant CATs like the company with the big heavy machinery", ">\n\nThe word \"attacking\" is doing a lot of work here", ">\n\nW", ">\n\nLook, I’m pretty anti-government, but this I can get behind", ">\n\nCattack on titan", ">\n\nI'm a civil engineer.\nI would fucking LOVE this.\nThis'll go good in my office next to my other engineering / math punny comics.\nLike this one.\nOr this one.\nOr, maybe this one.", ">\n\nThe Only well spent part of the military budget", ">\n\nI might buy it", ">\n\nWhat the fuck is that website", ">\n\nThis is great!", ">\n\nAugust is great.", ">\n\nNow the real MVP will tell us how to print this like an actual calendar.", ">\n\nThe only thing worthy of my tax dollars that the military has done this year.", ">\n\nOk, now we need a class II space laser pointer to distract the giant cats away from vital infrastructure." ]

[ "Imagine the work order. \nYour boss comes to you and says, \"Hey, you're in charge of the cats calendar.\"\n\"What calendar?\"\n\"The one with cats attacking infrastructure?\"\n\"What?\"", ">\n\nyou miss ONE day...", ">\n\nHail Vectron!", ">\n\nBy Vectron!", ">\n\nFor those yet to experience the holy might of Vectron's kindly claw", ">\n\nThank you. I had no idea.", ">\n\nYou are most welcome by Vectron", ">\n\nFor the love of all that is Vectron, your speech warms my Vectronic heart.", ">\n\nMay Vectron’s beard shed its benevolence upon us. 🙏🏻🙏🏻", ">\n\nAnd may all of his correspondence to us be sent Vectronically. So it is written, so shall it be done.", ">\n\nI live in Oregon and started to recognize a bunch of the dams, so I was like, “huh, that’s kinda cool.” Then I saw the text at the bottom of the first page. Portland District. Now a cat calendar makes perfect sense.", ">\n\nSame thing happened to me. I think I'm going to head to kinko's and have them print it out for me.", ">\n\nTell them you need to print some important official military documents before you show them what it is", ">\n\nDon’t forget to tell them you need it right meow!", ">\n\nWho will protect our infrastructure from this menace?", ">\n\nAn array of laser pointers.", ">\n\ncut to giant laser pointer satellite", ">\n\nomigod the jewish space lasers were real", ">\n\n*meowish space lasers", ">\n\nHey that's racist", ">\n\nI think it would be cheaper to buy a calendar than use the ink/toner required to print it.", ">\n\nThat's why you print it at work.", ">\n\nhaha true, oh wait I work from home...", ">\n\nIf you print from home for work you can write printer supplies off on your taxes :)", ">\n\nUh yes boss I needed a calendar, so… oh what? Use the company one? Ummm but the US army has a really nice one and I thought I’d be patriotic - what? Oh, yeah I know we’re in Canada, I just…", ">\n\nPortland is pretty much wannabe Vancouver, BC. I say it goes!", ">\n\nExactly what a Canadian would say...", ">\n\nGoodies, goodie goodie, yum yum.", ">\n\nI just scrolled until I found The Goodies reference but was wondering if I was going to find one at all.", ">\n\nIt's way down the list, isn't it? \n/knees hurt.", ">\n\nOw, my back! Get off my lawn!", ">\n\nOne engineer did it in his free time, and released it for use through the corps. \nThis was NOT government funded.", ">\n\nEven if it was government funded, I support this.", ">\n\nEven if it was government funded it would've been like maybe one day of pay at most? Not a ton for the amount of publicity they'll get that might make them even more money.", ">\n\nAssuming they already have the infrastructure pictures I would be surprised if it took more than 4 work hours. Also for chronically underfunded agencies that kind of PR is exactly how you get voters to convince the politicians to increase funds. I look forward to NASA figuring out how to photoshop giant cats playing with the planets like balls of yarn for their calendar", ">\n\n\nI look forward to NASA figuring out how to photoshop giant cats playing with the planets like balls of yarn for their calendar \n\nWell let me introduce you to the most bizarre social media messaging from an official U.S. government agency: The U.S. Consumer Product Safety Commission's Instagram feed. \nAnd before I catch any \"there's no way this is real\" replies, here's the Washington Post covering it: \n\nHow a federal bureaucrat uses astronaut babies and dogs riding pigeons to try to save your life", ">\n\nThis is rad!", ">\n\nCISA losing their shit rn", ">\n\nI would like one.", ">\n\nIt's a free PDF.", ">\n\nNo he would like one of the cats", ">\n\nyOu wOuLdN'T DoWnloAd a cAT", ">\n\nI can’t believe they included Sherlock getting knocked off a cliff. At least he didn’t jump this time.", ">\n\nI'm shocked that you're the only person I've seen comment on this so far! it's hilarious", ">\n\n\"Every year, dozens of cats attack important infrastructure for our country causing dozens of dollars of damage. Won't you help?\"", ">\n\nI heard this with Sarah McLoughlin's voice", ">\n\nArmy Cats", ">\n\nNow do it with pictures of our crumbling infrastructure.", ">\n\nThis seems like one of those things that is somehow going to age poorly given our Universe's current sense of irony. I don't know how exactly, but there's going to be some mass tragedy involving cats and a suspension bridge or something this year.", ">\n\nThe first image kind of reads like \"this infrastructure is super important so don't damage it\". The calendar almost seems like a shopping list for domestic terrorists or something lol.", ">\n\nI mean, pretty obvious that dams, substations, bridges and the like are good targets for chaos. Google maps gives you all this plus Police stations and everything, with photos and the address. Useless to worry about it", ">\n\nSeriously, anyone who unironicly think terrorists were waiting for a cat calendar to list a bunch of locations to bomb is paranoid about the wrong things.", ">\n\nCats would hunt and eat us if they were bigger than us", ">\n\nThey already do, they are called Tigers.", ">\n\nIf there were smaller tigers, we would keep them as pets, but they'd break all our stuff to prove they're still in charge.", ">\n\nThey already do, they are called Cats.", ">\n\nOH MY GOD!", ">\n\nMy tabby is a cute little tiger", ">\n\nI knew we had infrastructure challenges, but I didn't realize we were facing an infrastructure cat-astrophe!", ">\n\nTake my r/angryupvote", ">\n\nI love how shitty the photoshop is. Really ties it all together", ">\n\nYeah I like the idea--but the pictures chosen and color grading are all off. I'd like this idea better executed more professionally.", ">\n\nOh no I'm serious. The unprofessionalism is the best part. I would absolutely pay money for this", ">\n\nOnly only thing weirder is gonna be their crazy ass plan to save the infrastructure.", ">\n\nIt's the engineer Corp, they can build giant cat carriers.", ">\n\nI guess anything beats the 40 million they spend on viagra to keep the soldiers saluting.", ">\n\nThis is delightful", ">\n\ni was imagining mountain lions breaking in to dumpsters or something, not giant house cats gnawing on substations, not disappointed.", ">\n\nI don’t need a calendar now that our pocket rectangles handle all of that for us, but I really want this calendar.", ">\n\nIt is really convenient to just walk by my schedule versus having to pull it up, scroll, click and expand. I tend to forget about things if I don’t see it in front of me, but that’s just how my brain works. Plus if you’re on the phone trying to schedule something it’s nice to write it out too.", ">\n\nI'm sorry, we're already booked for giant spiders.", ">\n\nI personally kinda love this.", ">\n\nBest use of a miniscule amount of our tax dollars in the entire US $1.7T budget. US Army Corp wins the internet today!", ">\n\nHonestly, the entire army corps of engineers may be one of highest rates of return on public good vs funding", ">\n\nSeriously. They do a shit ton of quality and important public work on a relatively shoe-string budget for engineering. I have a lot of respect for the people that work at the USACOE.", ">\n\nSeptember, now that one is art", ">\n\nHaters will say it's Photoshop.", ">\n\nThey’ve never seen Catzilla.", ">\n\nHero of the Week! Hail yourself!", ">\n\nThere it is!", ">\n\n\nThe Army Corps Of Engineers Has Released a 2023 Calendar Of Giant Cats Attacking <\n\nr/brand new sentence \nAlso, giant cats attacking infrastructure is so 2020. In 2023 it just sounds silly.", ">\n\nSeptember ❤️", ">\n\nOmg. I love this. Especially the text blurbs on the pictures. Very funny and adorable!", ">\n\nSounds like they understand cats are required if you want social media traction", ">\n\nI have never wanted to buy a calendar more than I do now!", ">\n\nOn the one hand, I applaud the idea.\nOn the other hand, the photoshop skills look like they came from the army corps of engineers.", ">\n\nWould you actually want them to look like they were perfectly matched to each environment? I'm pretty sure the comedic effect is all that matters here.\nAnd besides, it was just one engineer that created this on their spare time, rather than an official ACE production.", ">\n\nI was mainly being a bit snarky because the internet. That, and what I said was objectively true.", ">\n\nCan confirm, the Corps of Engineers fuckkkkks", ">\n\nGoddammit I just bought my 2023 calendar too lol", ">\n\nThat’s cute though, not worrisome like a lot of other r/nottheonion posts.", ">\n\nAs ever, the Army Corps of Engineers are the one branch of the US state that can get the important shit done", ">\n\nFrom the comments ITT it's evident that most people are unaware of how important they are to the lives of the majority of productive people in this country (people who live near a coastline or a major body of water). It's not just dams and rivers, it's the actual physical coastline of america that they look after.", ">\n\nYup, it seems double edged- people think oh, they're the army corps and assumes they must be doing only military stuff. But equally if it was civilianised no doubt it'd be a target for cuts. An incredible org, regardless. And whether it's cats or weather or warming or the collapse of neglected infrastructure they're going to get more and more important so it's a damn good thing they exist because in 2023, nobody would invent them...", ">\n\nUSACE is an agency that is funded by the DOD but is vastly ran by civilians. There are very few enlisted or commissioned people in the army corps.", ">\n\nOK this is a thing and this is awesome", ">\n\nOops, I had \"Zombie Redneck Torture Family\" in the betting pool.", ">\n\nGrumble. Never gonna see a merman...", ">\n\nUSACE Portland District is one of the absolute best public sector social media presences out there. Seriously. Check it out.", ">\n\nCats in military pictures is an entire IG channel", ">\n\nGood boot", ">\n\nCommand team must be TDY", ">\n\nThat was even better than the title made me think it would be.", ">\n\nI support my tax dollars going to causes such as this.", ">\n\nFinally tax dollars doing something good", ">\n\nI’m kind of disappointed. From the title, I thought there would be photos of actual big cats attacking infrastructure, not photoshopped domestic cats. Anyone have a photo of a puma going after an electrical substation? Or a tiger gnawing on a water line?", ">\n\nNo. No one has that. Would be very interesting though to compile a calendar like that. Peace brother.", ">\n\nGreat, now I need a color printer.\nSeriously, thank you u/radioman8414!", ">\n\nThis is how I want my tax money spent. Downloaded and put up in my office!", ">\n\nThe regional social media guy who put this together is constantly hilarious", ">\n\nGreatest calendar of 2023.", ">\n\nI need one of these for my office! I've worked on some of these dams!", ">\n\nCan I ask you some dam questions?? I’m sure you know a lot of dam information. I’m sure all of us would love some dam stories. Thank you.", ">\n\nSure way to have a more interesting calendar than just infrastructure.", ">\n\nI would so adopt one if they existed.", ">\n\nI've heard army corps of engineers are very difficult to house train. May want to consider before adopting one.", ">\n\nTouché.", ">\n\nThat's amazing, thank you for posting it!", ">\n\nIs there anywhere to buy a nice physical copy of the calendar?", ">\n\nThose cats are mind-controlled by taxoplasmosis alien ameobas!", ">\n\nI was thinking this was gonna be mountain lions taking out maintenance huts or something like that. This is so much better", ">\n\nI’m the daughter of a former Portland, Oregon, US Army Corps Engineer, and I can confirm they are a strange crew. It makes me view the dams on the Columbia River fondly?", ">\n\nI love this so much.", ">\n\nDude. Awesome.", ">\n\nI love this! My astronomy teacher once did a talk on space cats. It was hysterical. Out of the blue he showed us pictures of space with cats added in. He felt we needed a fun class for laughs. I want this calendar.", ">\n\nThis would be really cool if they got a decent digital artist. But they didn't, they used photoshop about as well as I can.", ">\n\nI think that adds to the charm", ">\n\nDon't even need to see it, where can I buy it", ">\n\nFrom the link - \"Because the Army Corps is a Government Agency, the calendar is in public domain and totally free to download and print\"", ">\n\nThis is so funny, because it’s my Dad’s old workplace (from 1971 until he retired). My father, however, has zero sense of humor so he’d never work on something like this.", ">\n\nI met a guy from the Army Corps of Engineers when I worked for the EPA. Smartest guy I've ever met and the 2nd most hippe like person I've ever met. I'd like to think he had something to do with this idea.", ">\n\nFinally the massive military budget of the US is put to good use.", ">\n\nThis is awesome. I might have to buy one.", ">\n\nNo need. It's free, though you have to print it yourself if you want a physical copy", ">\n\nThis is so adorable! I approve wholeheartedly.", ">\n\nIt's about time.", ">\n\nSappers lead the way", ">\n\nI have so much love for this.", ">\n\nEhisssayons.", ">\n\nLove it.", ">\n\nUnintended benefits of relaxed Marijuana policies :)", ">\n\nUsace has not relaxed cannabis policies. No federal agency has", ">\n\nThey certainly have relaxed policy, even though federal law hasn't changed. It's legal in my state and the current administration has announced they won't be pursuing user level Marijuana charges at the federal level.\nWake up.", ">\n\nUSACE still falls under the same policies as the rest of the army. They're treated as DA civilians, and subject to periodic biochemical testing and the resultant consequences if they pee hot. The army has, and will not in the foreseeable future, relax any policy regarding marijuana.", ">\n\nAdorable idea; wish they had hired someone better at photoshop", ">\n\nIts a free gag calendar that was probably just put together by someone for fun in their spare time. Considering the state of infrastructure in the US I don't imagine the Corps of Engineers has a lot of extra spending money to throw around", ">\n\nIf they were smart, they would print it for us and sell it. I don't want a crappy calender that I printed on regular paper, I want the real thing and I would be glad to pay for it.", ">\n\nGenius!! This needs to be a trend. Reddit, make it so...", ">\n\nfuck yeah we finally gonna balance the budget", ">\n\nDecember's hilarious. I want this calender.", ">\n\nYou can totally tell that this is not real. The lighting on the cats is so obviously different than the environmental mistake. Pathetic effort infrastructure geeks.", ">\n\nSo they can blame cats for shoddy workmanship and lax maintenance.", ">\n\nDon't capitalize \"Of\" in titles", ">\n\nWish they'd focus on not taking eight years to permit a fucking project, those lazy excuses for engineers.", ">\n\nYou’re crazy dude. These peeps have built some amazing things. Extremely impressive.", ">\n\nThey used to.", ">\n\n😂", ">\n\nThis whole absurd thing is exactly my sense of humour. LOVE it.", ">\n\nOregon! I've seen the one at Detroit Dam. Sneaky bugger. Hangs out with Bigfoot.", ">\n\nI need this", ">\n\nThat's some adorable terrorism right there.", ">\n\nI remember seeing them, on quad bikes, with a lot of equipment, on Myrtle Beach beaches, I always wondered what they were doing...", ">\n\nI love this sequel to Beginning of the End!", ">\n\nIs there a way I can buy a physical version?", ">\n\nThey're Demo-cats!", ">\n\nAny recommendations of the best way to get this printed semi-professionally? I tried checking Costco photo centre but they make you use a template.", ">\n\nOf course it’s Portland.", ">\n\nKind of disappointing I can't actually buy a printed one. My daughter would love this.", ">\n\nA pretty good idea for a poster. Who doesn't like cats being cats?", ">\n\nI really wish I had become a part of the ACOE but my mother didn't want her only son in the military.", ">\n\nUsace has civilian positions you're employed by the army, but you don't go through basic", ">\n\nI hope they pay more than Nidec.", ">\n\nThanks for sharing! Downloaded and got my new Lock Screen wallpaper.", ">\n\nDecember is 🔥", ">\n\nObligatory Cat Dynamics", ">\n\nPoliticians will say this is the proof of the REAL reason of why our infrastructure is deteriorating, then vote in a measure to hire their friends and family to counter this threat.", ">\n\nI didnt know cats were domestic terrorists like Republicans. lol", ">\n\nThis is the only kind of apocalypse I could see myself getting excited about.", ">\n\nAugust a missed opportunity to have CAT Excavators.", ">\n\nYou have my attention.", ">\n\nSmart move", ">\n\nGod help us.", ">\n\nBest thing to come out of the Army post WWII.", ">\n\n🤔", ">\n\n\"Let's write a two paragraph article about something freely available on the internet and make absolutely no attempt to actually tell you where to find it\".", ">\n\nCatjira!", ">\n\nhilarious!", ">\n\nFinally", ">\n\nThis is the oniony-est story I’ve seen on here in a while", ">\n\nCant wait for the next spending bill to include cat proofing our infrastructure", ">\n\nHonestly… I’d buy it.", ">\n\nWish I would have heard of that in November or so. This seems unique, fun and a great idea for a calendar.", ">\n\nI heard about this from Last Podcast on the Left, glad to see it pop up on my feed with pictures!", ">\n\nI'm gonna need an NSN For that...", ">\n\nOf course it’s the Portland District", ">\n\nHonestly this is worth buying", ">\n\nIm not a cat person, but I would buy the calendar.", ">\n\nAny way to view the album without losing my mind on that website? God it's shit on mobile.", ">\n\nI especially love how June just looks like a well framed optical illusion photo.", ">\n\nThis is cute and all, but man, it seems a little poor in taste that August is a kitty-shaped military drone blowing up an Iraqi preschool", ">\n\nWhat did Oregon do to deserve this", ">\n\nGee I read that and instantly I thought they had done a study and released an estimated calendar of when an where giant cats would attack infrastructure in 2023. Phew.", ">\n\nOn that day, humanity received a grim reminder…", ">\n\nah yes\nPortland keeping it weird again", ">\n\nit’s cute, but who wrote the copy?", ">\n\nAmazing", ">\n\neverything changed when the cat nation attacked", ">\n\nI'm into it", ">\n\nnow this is what I want my tax dollars going towards", ">\n\nI'd love to believe that there was some huge misunderstanding and somewhere someone had actually meant CATs like the company with the big heavy machinery", ">\n\nThe word \"attacking\" is doing a lot of work here", ">\n\nW", ">\n\nLook, I’m pretty anti-government, but this I can get behind", ">\n\nCattack on titan", ">\n\nI'm a civil engineer.\nI would fucking LOVE this.\nThis'll go good in my office next to my other engineering / math punny comics.\nLike this one.\nOr this one.\nOr, maybe this one.", ">\n\nThe Only well spent part of the military budget", ">\n\nI might buy it", ">\n\nWhat the fuck is that website", ">\n\nThis is great!", ">\n\nAugust is great.", ">\n\nNow the real MVP will tell us how to print this like an actual calendar.", ">\n\nThe only thing worthy of my tax dollars that the military has done this year.", ">\n\nOk, now we need a class II space laser pointer to distract the giant cats away from vital infrastructure.", ">\n\nThey all are so good. My favorite is May, then September." ]

[ "Imagine the work order. \nYour boss comes to you and says, \"Hey, you're in charge of the cats calendar.\"\n\"What calendar?\"\n\"The one with cats attacking infrastructure?\"\n\"What?\"", ">\n\nyou miss ONE day...", ">\n\nHail Vectron!", ">\n\nBy Vectron!", ">\n\nFor those yet to experience the holy might of Vectron's kindly claw", ">\n\nThank you. I had no idea.", ">\n\nYou are most welcome by Vectron", ">\n\nFor the love of all that is Vectron, your speech warms my Vectronic heart.", ">\n\nMay Vectron’s beard shed its benevolence upon us. 🙏🏻🙏🏻", ">\n\nAnd may all of his correspondence to us be sent Vectronically. So it is written, so shall it be done.", ">\n\nI live in Oregon and started to recognize a bunch of the dams, so I was like, “huh, that’s kinda cool.” Then I saw the text at the bottom of the first page. Portland District. Now a cat calendar makes perfect sense.", ">\n\nSame thing happened to me. I think I'm going to head to kinko's and have them print it out for me.", ">\n\nTell them you need to print some important official military documents before you show them what it is", ">\n\nDon’t forget to tell them you need it right meow!", ">\n\nWho will protect our infrastructure from this menace?", ">\n\nAn array of laser pointers.", ">\n\ncut to giant laser pointer satellite", ">\n\nomigod the jewish space lasers were real", ">\n\n*meowish space lasers", ">\n\nHey that's racist", ">\n\nI think it would be cheaper to buy a calendar than use the ink/toner required to print it.", ">\n\nThat's why you print it at work.", ">\n\nhaha true, oh wait I work from home...", ">\n\nIf you print from home for work you can write printer supplies off on your taxes :)", ">\n\nUh yes boss I needed a calendar, so… oh what? Use the company one? Ummm but the US army has a really nice one and I thought I’d be patriotic - what? Oh, yeah I know we’re in Canada, I just…", ">\n\nPortland is pretty much wannabe Vancouver, BC. I say it goes!", ">\n\nExactly what a Canadian would say...", ">\n\nGoodies, goodie goodie, yum yum.", ">\n\nI just scrolled until I found The Goodies reference but was wondering if I was going to find one at all.", ">\n\nIt's way down the list, isn't it? \n/knees hurt.", ">\n\nOw, my back! Get off my lawn!", ">\n\nOne engineer did it in his free time, and released it for use through the corps. \nThis was NOT government funded.", ">\n\nEven if it was government funded, I support this.", ">\n\nEven if it was government funded it would've been like maybe one day of pay at most? Not a ton for the amount of publicity they'll get that might make them even more money.", ">\n\nAssuming they already have the infrastructure pictures I would be surprised if it took more than 4 work hours. Also for chronically underfunded agencies that kind of PR is exactly how you get voters to convince the politicians to increase funds. I look forward to NASA figuring out how to photoshop giant cats playing with the planets like balls of yarn for their calendar", ">\n\n\nI look forward to NASA figuring out how to photoshop giant cats playing with the planets like balls of yarn for their calendar \n\nWell let me introduce you to the most bizarre social media messaging from an official U.S. government agency: The U.S. Consumer Product Safety Commission's Instagram feed. \nAnd before I catch any \"there's no way this is real\" replies, here's the Washington Post covering it: \n\nHow a federal bureaucrat uses astronaut babies and dogs riding pigeons to try to save your life", ">\n\nThis is rad!", ">\n\nCISA losing their shit rn", ">\n\nI would like one.", ">\n\nIt's a free PDF.", ">\n\nNo he would like one of the cats", ">\n\nyOu wOuLdN'T DoWnloAd a cAT", ">\n\nI can’t believe they included Sherlock getting knocked off a cliff. At least he didn’t jump this time.", ">\n\nI'm shocked that you're the only person I've seen comment on this so far! it's hilarious", ">\n\n\"Every year, dozens of cats attack important infrastructure for our country causing dozens of dollars of damage. Won't you help?\"", ">\n\nI heard this with Sarah McLoughlin's voice", ">\n\nArmy Cats", ">\n\nNow do it with pictures of our crumbling infrastructure.", ">\n\nThis seems like one of those things that is somehow going to age poorly given our Universe's current sense of irony. I don't know how exactly, but there's going to be some mass tragedy involving cats and a suspension bridge or something this year.", ">\n\nThe first image kind of reads like \"this infrastructure is super important so don't damage it\". The calendar almost seems like a shopping list for domestic terrorists or something lol.", ">\n\nI mean, pretty obvious that dams, substations, bridges and the like are good targets for chaos. Google maps gives you all this plus Police stations and everything, with photos and the address. Useless to worry about it", ">\n\nSeriously, anyone who unironicly think terrorists were waiting for a cat calendar to list a bunch of locations to bomb is paranoid about the wrong things.", ">\n\nCats would hunt and eat us if they were bigger than us", ">\n\nThey already do, they are called Tigers.", ">\n\nIf there were smaller tigers, we would keep them as pets, but they'd break all our stuff to prove they're still in charge.", ">\n\nThey already do, they are called Cats.", ">\n\nOH MY GOD!", ">\n\nMy tabby is a cute little tiger", ">\n\nI knew we had infrastructure challenges, but I didn't realize we were facing an infrastructure cat-astrophe!", ">\n\nTake my r/angryupvote", ">\n\nI love how shitty the photoshop is. Really ties it all together", ">\n\nYeah I like the idea--but the pictures chosen and color grading are all off. I'd like this idea better executed more professionally.", ">\n\nOh no I'm serious. The unprofessionalism is the best part. I would absolutely pay money for this", ">\n\nOnly only thing weirder is gonna be their crazy ass plan to save the infrastructure.", ">\n\nIt's the engineer Corp, they can build giant cat carriers.", ">\n\nI guess anything beats the 40 million they spend on viagra to keep the soldiers saluting.", ">\n\nThis is delightful", ">\n\ni was imagining mountain lions breaking in to dumpsters or something, not giant house cats gnawing on substations, not disappointed.", ">\n\nI don’t need a calendar now that our pocket rectangles handle all of that for us, but I really want this calendar.", ">\n\nIt is really convenient to just walk by my schedule versus having to pull it up, scroll, click and expand. I tend to forget about things if I don’t see it in front of me, but that’s just how my brain works. Plus if you’re on the phone trying to schedule something it’s nice to write it out too.", ">\n\nI'm sorry, we're already booked for giant spiders.", ">\n\nI personally kinda love this.", ">\n\nBest use of a miniscule amount of our tax dollars in the entire US $1.7T budget. US Army Corp wins the internet today!", ">\n\nHonestly, the entire army corps of engineers may be one of highest rates of return on public good vs funding", ">\n\nSeriously. They do a shit ton of quality and important public work on a relatively shoe-string budget for engineering. I have a lot of respect for the people that work at the USACOE.", ">\n\nSeptember, now that one is art", ">\n\nHaters will say it's Photoshop.", ">\n\nThey’ve never seen Catzilla.", ">\n\nHero of the Week! Hail yourself!", ">\n\nThere it is!", ">\n\n\nThe Army Corps Of Engineers Has Released a 2023 Calendar Of Giant Cats Attacking <\n\nr/brand new sentence \nAlso, giant cats attacking infrastructure is so 2020. In 2023 it just sounds silly.", ">\n\nSeptember ❤️", ">\n\nOmg. I love this. Especially the text blurbs on the pictures. Very funny and adorable!", ">\n\nSounds like they understand cats are required if you want social media traction", ">\n\nI have never wanted to buy a calendar more than I do now!", ">\n\nOn the one hand, I applaud the idea.\nOn the other hand, the photoshop skills look like they came from the army corps of engineers.", ">\n\nWould you actually want them to look like they were perfectly matched to each environment? I'm pretty sure the comedic effect is all that matters here.\nAnd besides, it was just one engineer that created this on their spare time, rather than an official ACE production.", ">\n\nI was mainly being a bit snarky because the internet. That, and what I said was objectively true.", ">\n\nCan confirm, the Corps of Engineers fuckkkkks", ">\n\nGoddammit I just bought my 2023 calendar too lol", ">\n\nThat’s cute though, not worrisome like a lot of other r/nottheonion posts.", ">\n\nAs ever, the Army Corps of Engineers are the one branch of the US state that can get the important shit done", ">\n\nFrom the comments ITT it's evident that most people are unaware of how important they are to the lives of the majority of productive people in this country (people who live near a coastline or a major body of water). It's not just dams and rivers, it's the actual physical coastline of america that they look after.", ">\n\nYup, it seems double edged- people think oh, they're the army corps and assumes they must be doing only military stuff. But equally if it was civilianised no doubt it'd be a target for cuts. An incredible org, regardless. And whether it's cats or weather or warming or the collapse of neglected infrastructure they're going to get more and more important so it's a damn good thing they exist because in 2023, nobody would invent them...", ">\n\nUSACE is an agency that is funded by the DOD but is vastly ran by civilians. There are very few enlisted or commissioned people in the army corps.", ">\n\nOK this is a thing and this is awesome", ">\n\nOops, I had \"Zombie Redneck Torture Family\" in the betting pool.", ">\n\nGrumble. Never gonna see a merman...", ">\n\nUSACE Portland District is one of the absolute best public sector social media presences out there. Seriously. Check it out.", ">\n\nCats in military pictures is an entire IG channel", ">\n\nGood boot", ">\n\nCommand team must be TDY", ">\n\nThat was even better than the title made me think it would be.", ">\n\nI support my tax dollars going to causes such as this.", ">\n\nFinally tax dollars doing something good", ">\n\nI’m kind of disappointed. From the title, I thought there would be photos of actual big cats attacking infrastructure, not photoshopped domestic cats. Anyone have a photo of a puma going after an electrical substation? Or a tiger gnawing on a water line?", ">\n\nNo. No one has that. Would be very interesting though to compile a calendar like that. Peace brother.", ">\n\nGreat, now I need a color printer.\nSeriously, thank you u/radioman8414!", ">\n\nThis is how I want my tax money spent. Downloaded and put up in my office!", ">\n\nThe regional social media guy who put this together is constantly hilarious", ">\n\nGreatest calendar of 2023.", ">\n\nI need one of these for my office! I've worked on some of these dams!", ">\n\nCan I ask you some dam questions?? I’m sure you know a lot of dam information. I’m sure all of us would love some dam stories. Thank you.", ">\n\nSure way to have a more interesting calendar than just infrastructure.", ">\n\nI would so adopt one if they existed.", ">\n\nI've heard army corps of engineers are very difficult to house train. May want to consider before adopting one.", ">\n\nTouché.", ">\n\nThat's amazing, thank you for posting it!", ">\n\nIs there anywhere to buy a nice physical copy of the calendar?", ">\n\nThose cats are mind-controlled by taxoplasmosis alien ameobas!", ">\n\nI was thinking this was gonna be mountain lions taking out maintenance huts or something like that. This is so much better", ">\n\nI’m the daughter of a former Portland, Oregon, US Army Corps Engineer, and I can confirm they are a strange crew. It makes me view the dams on the Columbia River fondly?", ">\n\nI love this so much.", ">\n\nDude. Awesome.", ">\n\nI love this! My astronomy teacher once did a talk on space cats. It was hysterical. Out of the blue he showed us pictures of space with cats added in. He felt we needed a fun class for laughs. I want this calendar.", ">\n\nThis would be really cool if they got a decent digital artist. But they didn't, they used photoshop about as well as I can.", ">\n\nI think that adds to the charm", ">\n\nDon't even need to see it, where can I buy it", ">\n\nFrom the link - \"Because the Army Corps is a Government Agency, the calendar is in public domain and totally free to download and print\"", ">\n\nThis is so funny, because it’s my Dad’s old workplace (from 1971 until he retired). My father, however, has zero sense of humor so he’d never work on something like this.", ">\n\nI met a guy from the Army Corps of Engineers when I worked for the EPA. Smartest guy I've ever met and the 2nd most hippe like person I've ever met. I'd like to think he had something to do with this idea.", ">\n\nFinally the massive military budget of the US is put to good use.", ">\n\nThis is awesome. I might have to buy one.", ">\n\nNo need. It's free, though you have to print it yourself if you want a physical copy", ">\n\nThis is so adorable! I approve wholeheartedly.", ">\n\nIt's about time.", ">\n\nSappers lead the way", ">\n\nI have so much love for this.", ">\n\nEhisssayons.", ">\n\nLove it.", ">\n\nUnintended benefits of relaxed Marijuana policies :)", ">\n\nUsace has not relaxed cannabis policies. No federal agency has", ">\n\nThey certainly have relaxed policy, even though federal law hasn't changed. It's legal in my state and the current administration has announced they won't be pursuing user level Marijuana charges at the federal level.\nWake up.", ">\n\nUSACE still falls under the same policies as the rest of the army. They're treated as DA civilians, and subject to periodic biochemical testing and the resultant consequences if they pee hot. The army has, and will not in the foreseeable future, relax any policy regarding marijuana.", ">\n\nAdorable idea; wish they had hired someone better at photoshop", ">\n\nIts a free gag calendar that was probably just put together by someone for fun in their spare time. Considering the state of infrastructure in the US I don't imagine the Corps of Engineers has a lot of extra spending money to throw around", ">\n\nIf they were smart, they would print it for us and sell it. I don't want a crappy calender that I printed on regular paper, I want the real thing and I would be glad to pay for it.", ">\n\nGenius!! This needs to be a trend. Reddit, make it so...", ">\n\nfuck yeah we finally gonna balance the budget", ">\n\nDecember's hilarious. I want this calender.", ">\n\nYou can totally tell that this is not real. The lighting on the cats is so obviously different than the environmental mistake. Pathetic effort infrastructure geeks.", ">\n\nSo they can blame cats for shoddy workmanship and lax maintenance.", ">\n\nDon't capitalize \"Of\" in titles", ">\n\nWish they'd focus on not taking eight years to permit a fucking project, those lazy excuses for engineers.", ">\n\nYou’re crazy dude. These peeps have built some amazing things. Extremely impressive.", ">\n\nThey used to.", ">\n\n😂", ">\n\nThis whole absurd thing is exactly my sense of humour. LOVE it.", ">\n\nOregon! I've seen the one at Detroit Dam. Sneaky bugger. Hangs out with Bigfoot.", ">\n\nI need this", ">\n\nThat's some adorable terrorism right there.", ">\n\nI remember seeing them, on quad bikes, with a lot of equipment, on Myrtle Beach beaches, I always wondered what they were doing...", ">\n\nI love this sequel to Beginning of the End!", ">\n\nIs there a way I can buy a physical version?", ">\n\nThey're Demo-cats!", ">\n\nAny recommendations of the best way to get this printed semi-professionally? I tried checking Costco photo centre but they make you use a template.", ">\n\nOf course it’s Portland.", ">\n\nKind of disappointing I can't actually buy a printed one. My daughter would love this.", ">\n\nA pretty good idea for a poster. Who doesn't like cats being cats?", ">\n\nI really wish I had become a part of the ACOE but my mother didn't want her only son in the military.", ">\n\nUsace has civilian positions you're employed by the army, but you don't go through basic", ">\n\nI hope they pay more than Nidec.", ">\n\nThanks for sharing! Downloaded and got my new Lock Screen wallpaper.", ">\n\nDecember is 🔥", ">\n\nObligatory Cat Dynamics", ">\n\nPoliticians will say this is the proof of the REAL reason of why our infrastructure is deteriorating, then vote in a measure to hire their friends and family to counter this threat.", ">\n\nI didnt know cats were domestic terrorists like Republicans. lol", ">\n\nThis is the only kind of apocalypse I could see myself getting excited about.", ">\n\nAugust a missed opportunity to have CAT Excavators.", ">\n\nYou have my attention.", ">\n\nSmart move", ">\n\nGod help us.", ">\n\nBest thing to come out of the Army post WWII.", ">\n\n🤔", ">\n\n\"Let's write a two paragraph article about something freely available on the internet and make absolutely no attempt to actually tell you where to find it\".", ">\n\nCatjira!", ">\n\nhilarious!", ">\n\nFinally", ">\n\nThis is the oniony-est story I’ve seen on here in a while", ">\n\nCant wait for the next spending bill to include cat proofing our infrastructure", ">\n\nHonestly… I’d buy it.", ">\n\nWish I would have heard of that in November or so. This seems unique, fun and a great idea for a calendar.", ">\n\nI heard about this from Last Podcast on the Left, glad to see it pop up on my feed with pictures!", ">\n\nI'm gonna need an NSN For that...", ">\n\nOf course it’s the Portland District", ">\n\nHonestly this is worth buying", ">\n\nIm not a cat person, but I would buy the calendar.", ">\n\nAny way to view the album without losing my mind on that website? God it's shit on mobile.", ">\n\nI especially love how June just looks like a well framed optical illusion photo.", ">\n\nThis is cute and all, but man, it seems a little poor in taste that August is a kitty-shaped military drone blowing up an Iraqi preschool", ">\n\nWhat did Oregon do to deserve this", ">\n\nGee I read that and instantly I thought they had done a study and released an estimated calendar of when an where giant cats would attack infrastructure in 2023. Phew.", ">\n\nOn that day, humanity received a grim reminder…", ">\n\nah yes\nPortland keeping it weird again", ">\n\nit’s cute, but who wrote the copy?", ">\n\nAmazing", ">\n\neverything changed when the cat nation attacked", ">\n\nI'm into it", ">\n\nnow this is what I want my tax dollars going towards", ">\n\nI'd love to believe that there was some huge misunderstanding and somewhere someone had actually meant CATs like the company with the big heavy machinery", ">\n\nThe word \"attacking\" is doing a lot of work here", ">\n\nW", ">\n\nLook, I’m pretty anti-government, but this I can get behind", ">\n\nCattack on titan", ">\n\nI'm a civil engineer.\nI would fucking LOVE this.\nThis'll go good in my office next to my other engineering / math punny comics.\nLike this one.\nOr this one.\nOr, maybe this one.", ">\n\nThe Only well spent part of the military budget", ">\n\nI might buy it", ">\n\nWhat the fuck is that website", ">\n\nThis is great!", ">\n\nAugust is great.", ">\n\nNow the real MVP will tell us how to print this like an actual calendar.", ">\n\nThe only thing worthy of my tax dollars that the military has done this year.", ">\n\nOk, now we need a class II space laser pointer to distract the giant cats away from vital infrastructure.", ">\n\nThey all are so good. My favorite is May, then September.", ">\n\nOh... good." ]

[ "Imagine the work order. \nYour boss comes to you and says, \"Hey, you're in charge of the cats calendar.\"\n\"What calendar?\"\n\"The one with cats attacking infrastructure?\"\n\"What?\"", ">\n\nyou miss ONE day...", ">\n\nHail Vectron!", ">\n\nBy Vectron!", ">\n\nFor those yet to experience the holy might of Vectron's kindly claw", ">\n\nThank you. I had no idea.", ">\n\nYou are most welcome by Vectron", ">\n\nFor the love of all that is Vectron, your speech warms my Vectronic heart.", ">\n\nMay Vectron’s beard shed its benevolence upon us. 🙏🏻🙏🏻", ">\n\nAnd may all of his correspondence to us be sent Vectronically. So it is written, so shall it be done.", ">\n\nI live in Oregon and started to recognize a bunch of the dams, so I was like, “huh, that’s kinda cool.” Then I saw the text at the bottom of the first page. Portland District. Now a cat calendar makes perfect sense.", ">\n\nSame thing happened to me. I think I'm going to head to kinko's and have them print it out for me.", ">\n\nTell them you need to print some important official military documents before you show them what it is", ">\n\nDon’t forget to tell them you need it right meow!", ">\n\nWho will protect our infrastructure from this menace?", ">\n\nAn array of laser pointers.", ">\n\ncut to giant laser pointer satellite", ">\n\nomigod the jewish space lasers were real", ">\n\n*meowish space lasers", ">\n\nHey that's racist", ">\n\nI think it would be cheaper to buy a calendar than use the ink/toner required to print it.", ">\n\nThat's why you print it at work.", ">\n\nhaha true, oh wait I work from home...", ">\n\nIf you print from home for work you can write printer supplies off on your taxes :)", ">\n\nUh yes boss I needed a calendar, so… oh what? Use the company one? Ummm but the US army has a really nice one and I thought I’d be patriotic - what? Oh, yeah I know we’re in Canada, I just…", ">\n\nPortland is pretty much wannabe Vancouver, BC. I say it goes!", ">\n\nExactly what a Canadian would say...", ">\n\nGoodies, goodie goodie, yum yum.", ">\n\nI just scrolled until I found The Goodies reference but was wondering if I was going to find one at all.", ">\n\nIt's way down the list, isn't it? \n/knees hurt.", ">\n\nOw, my back! Get off my lawn!", ">\n\nOne engineer did it in his free time, and released it for use through the corps. \nThis was NOT government funded.", ">\n\nEven if it was government funded, I support this.", ">\n\nEven if it was government funded it would've been like maybe one day of pay at most? Not a ton for the amount of publicity they'll get that might make them even more money.", ">\n\nAssuming they already have the infrastructure pictures I would be surprised if it took more than 4 work hours. Also for chronically underfunded agencies that kind of PR is exactly how you get voters to convince the politicians to increase funds. I look forward to NASA figuring out how to photoshop giant cats playing with the planets like balls of yarn for their calendar", ">\n\n\nI look forward to NASA figuring out how to photoshop giant cats playing with the planets like balls of yarn for their calendar \n\nWell let me introduce you to the most bizarre social media messaging from an official U.S. government agency: The U.S. Consumer Product Safety Commission's Instagram feed. \nAnd before I catch any \"there's no way this is real\" replies, here's the Washington Post covering it: \n\nHow a federal bureaucrat uses astronaut babies and dogs riding pigeons to try to save your life", ">\n\nThis is rad!", ">\n\nCISA losing their shit rn", ">\n\nI would like one.", ">\n\nIt's a free PDF.", ">\n\nNo he would like one of the cats", ">\n\nyOu wOuLdN'T DoWnloAd a cAT", ">\n\nI can’t believe they included Sherlock getting knocked off a cliff. At least he didn’t jump this time.", ">\n\nI'm shocked that you're the only person I've seen comment on this so far! it's hilarious", ">\n\n\"Every year, dozens of cats attack important infrastructure for our country causing dozens of dollars of damage. Won't you help?\"", ">\n\nI heard this with Sarah McLoughlin's voice", ">\n\nArmy Cats", ">\n\nNow do it with pictures of our crumbling infrastructure.", ">\n\nThis seems like one of those things that is somehow going to age poorly given our Universe's current sense of irony. I don't know how exactly, but there's going to be some mass tragedy involving cats and a suspension bridge or something this year.", ">\n\nThe first image kind of reads like \"this infrastructure is super important so don't damage it\". The calendar almost seems like a shopping list for domestic terrorists or something lol.", ">\n\nI mean, pretty obvious that dams, substations, bridges and the like are good targets for chaos. Google maps gives you all this plus Police stations and everything, with photos and the address. Useless to worry about it", ">\n\nSeriously, anyone who unironicly think terrorists were waiting for a cat calendar to list a bunch of locations to bomb is paranoid about the wrong things.", ">\n\nCats would hunt and eat us if they were bigger than us", ">\n\nThey already do, they are called Tigers.", ">\n\nIf there were smaller tigers, we would keep them as pets, but they'd break all our stuff to prove they're still in charge.", ">\n\nThey already do, they are called Cats.", ">\n\nOH MY GOD!", ">\n\nMy tabby is a cute little tiger", ">\n\nI knew we had infrastructure challenges, but I didn't realize we were facing an infrastructure cat-astrophe!", ">\n\nTake my r/angryupvote", ">\n\nI love how shitty the photoshop is. Really ties it all together", ">\n\nYeah I like the idea--but the pictures chosen and color grading are all off. I'd like this idea better executed more professionally.", ">\n\nOh no I'm serious. The unprofessionalism is the best part. I would absolutely pay money for this", ">\n\nOnly only thing weirder is gonna be their crazy ass plan to save the infrastructure.", ">\n\nIt's the engineer Corp, they can build giant cat carriers.", ">\n\nI guess anything beats the 40 million they spend on viagra to keep the soldiers saluting.", ">\n\nThis is delightful", ">\n\ni was imagining mountain lions breaking in to dumpsters or something, not giant house cats gnawing on substations, not disappointed.", ">\n\nI don’t need a calendar now that our pocket rectangles handle all of that for us, but I really want this calendar.", ">\n\nIt is really convenient to just walk by my schedule versus having to pull it up, scroll, click and expand. I tend to forget about things if I don’t see it in front of me, but that’s just how my brain works. Plus if you’re on the phone trying to schedule something it’s nice to write it out too.", ">\n\nI'm sorry, we're already booked for giant spiders.", ">\n\nI personally kinda love this.", ">\n\nBest use of a miniscule amount of our tax dollars in the entire US $1.7T budget. US Army Corp wins the internet today!", ">\n\nHonestly, the entire army corps of engineers may be one of highest rates of return on public good vs funding", ">\n\nSeriously. They do a shit ton of quality and important public work on a relatively shoe-string budget for engineering. I have a lot of respect for the people that work at the USACOE.", ">\n\nSeptember, now that one is art", ">\n\nHaters will say it's Photoshop.", ">\n\nThey’ve never seen Catzilla.", ">\n\nHero of the Week! Hail yourself!", ">\n\nThere it is!", ">\n\n\nThe Army Corps Of Engineers Has Released a 2023 Calendar Of Giant Cats Attacking <\n\nr/brand new sentence \nAlso, giant cats attacking infrastructure is so 2020. In 2023 it just sounds silly.", ">\n\nSeptember ❤️", ">\n\nOmg. I love this. Especially the text blurbs on the pictures. Very funny and adorable!", ">\n\nSounds like they understand cats are required if you want social media traction", ">\n\nI have never wanted to buy a calendar more than I do now!", ">\n\nOn the one hand, I applaud the idea.\nOn the other hand, the photoshop skills look like they came from the army corps of engineers.", ">\n\nWould you actually want them to look like they were perfectly matched to each environment? I'm pretty sure the comedic effect is all that matters here.\nAnd besides, it was just one engineer that created this on their spare time, rather than an official ACE production.", ">\n\nI was mainly being a bit snarky because the internet. That, and what I said was objectively true.", ">\n\nCan confirm, the Corps of Engineers fuckkkkks", ">\n\nGoddammit I just bought my 2023 calendar too lol", ">\n\nThat’s cute though, not worrisome like a lot of other r/nottheonion posts.", ">\n\nAs ever, the Army Corps of Engineers are the one branch of the US state that can get the important shit done", ">\n\nFrom the comments ITT it's evident that most people are unaware of how important they are to the lives of the majority of productive people in this country (people who live near a coastline or a major body of water). It's not just dams and rivers, it's the actual physical coastline of america that they look after.", ">\n\nYup, it seems double edged- people think oh, they're the army corps and assumes they must be doing only military stuff. But equally if it was civilianised no doubt it'd be a target for cuts. An incredible org, regardless. And whether it's cats or weather or warming or the collapse of neglected infrastructure they're going to get more and more important so it's a damn good thing they exist because in 2023, nobody would invent them...", ">\n\nUSACE is an agency that is funded by the DOD but is vastly ran by civilians. There are very few enlisted or commissioned people in the army corps.", ">\n\nOK this is a thing and this is awesome", ">\n\nOops, I had \"Zombie Redneck Torture Family\" in the betting pool.", ">\n\nGrumble. Never gonna see a merman...", ">\n\nUSACE Portland District is one of the absolute best public sector social media presences out there. Seriously. Check it out.", ">\n\nCats in military pictures is an entire IG channel", ">\n\nGood boot", ">\n\nCommand team must be TDY", ">\n\nThat was even better than the title made me think it would be.", ">\n\nI support my tax dollars going to causes such as this.", ">\n\nFinally tax dollars doing something good", ">\n\nI’m kind of disappointed. From the title, I thought there would be photos of actual big cats attacking infrastructure, not photoshopped domestic cats. Anyone have a photo of a puma going after an electrical substation? Or a tiger gnawing on a water line?", ">\n\nNo. No one has that. Would be very interesting though to compile a calendar like that. Peace brother.", ">\n\nGreat, now I need a color printer.\nSeriously, thank you u/radioman8414!", ">\n\nThis is how I want my tax money spent. Downloaded and put up in my office!", ">\n\nThe regional social media guy who put this together is constantly hilarious", ">\n\nGreatest calendar of 2023.", ">\n\nI need one of these for my office! I've worked on some of these dams!", ">\n\nCan I ask you some dam questions?? I’m sure you know a lot of dam information. I’m sure all of us would love some dam stories. Thank you.", ">\n\nSure way to have a more interesting calendar than just infrastructure.", ">\n\nI would so adopt one if they existed.", ">\n\nI've heard army corps of engineers are very difficult to house train. May want to consider before adopting one.", ">\n\nTouché.", ">\n\nThat's amazing, thank you for posting it!", ">\n\nIs there anywhere to buy a nice physical copy of the calendar?", ">\n\nThose cats are mind-controlled by taxoplasmosis alien ameobas!", ">\n\nI was thinking this was gonna be mountain lions taking out maintenance huts or something like that. This is so much better", ">\n\nI’m the daughter of a former Portland, Oregon, US Army Corps Engineer, and I can confirm they are a strange crew. It makes me view the dams on the Columbia River fondly?", ">\n\nI love this so much.", ">\n\nDude. Awesome.", ">\n\nI love this! My astronomy teacher once did a talk on space cats. It was hysterical. Out of the blue he showed us pictures of space with cats added in. He felt we needed a fun class for laughs. I want this calendar.", ">\n\nThis would be really cool if they got a decent digital artist. But they didn't, they used photoshop about as well as I can.", ">\n\nI think that adds to the charm", ">\n\nDon't even need to see it, where can I buy it", ">\n\nFrom the link - \"Because the Army Corps is a Government Agency, the calendar is in public domain and totally free to download and print\"", ">\n\nThis is so funny, because it’s my Dad’s old workplace (from 1971 until he retired). My father, however, has zero sense of humor so he’d never work on something like this.", ">\n\nI met a guy from the Army Corps of Engineers when I worked for the EPA. Smartest guy I've ever met and the 2nd most hippe like person I've ever met. I'd like to think he had something to do with this idea.", ">\n\nFinally the massive military budget of the US is put to good use.", ">\n\nThis is awesome. I might have to buy one.", ">\n\nNo need. It's free, though you have to print it yourself if you want a physical copy", ">\n\nThis is so adorable! I approve wholeheartedly.", ">\n\nIt's about time.", ">\n\nSappers lead the way", ">\n\nI have so much love for this.", ">\n\nEhisssayons.", ">\n\nLove it.", ">\n\nUnintended benefits of relaxed Marijuana policies :)", ">\n\nUsace has not relaxed cannabis policies. No federal agency has", ">\n\nThey certainly have relaxed policy, even though federal law hasn't changed. It's legal in my state and the current administration has announced they won't be pursuing user level Marijuana charges at the federal level.\nWake up.", ">\n\nUSACE still falls under the same policies as the rest of the army. They're treated as DA civilians, and subject to periodic biochemical testing and the resultant consequences if they pee hot. The army has, and will not in the foreseeable future, relax any policy regarding marijuana.", ">\n\nAdorable idea; wish they had hired someone better at photoshop", ">\n\nIts a free gag calendar that was probably just put together by someone for fun in their spare time. Considering the state of infrastructure in the US I don't imagine the Corps of Engineers has a lot of extra spending money to throw around", ">\n\nIf they were smart, they would print it for us and sell it. I don't want a crappy calender that I printed on regular paper, I want the real thing and I would be glad to pay for it.", ">\n\nGenius!! This needs to be a trend. Reddit, make it so...", ">\n\nfuck yeah we finally gonna balance the budget", ">\n\nDecember's hilarious. I want this calender.", ">\n\nYou can totally tell that this is not real. The lighting on the cats is so obviously different than the environmental mistake. Pathetic effort infrastructure geeks.", ">\n\nSo they can blame cats for shoddy workmanship and lax maintenance.", ">\n\nDon't capitalize \"Of\" in titles", ">\n\nWish they'd focus on not taking eight years to permit a fucking project, those lazy excuses for engineers.", ">\n\nYou’re crazy dude. These peeps have built some amazing things. Extremely impressive.", ">\n\nThey used to.", ">\n\n😂", ">\n\nThis whole absurd thing is exactly my sense of humour. LOVE it.", ">\n\nOregon! I've seen the one at Detroit Dam. Sneaky bugger. Hangs out with Bigfoot.", ">\n\nI need this", ">\n\nThat's some adorable terrorism right there.", ">\n\nI remember seeing them, on quad bikes, with a lot of equipment, on Myrtle Beach beaches, I always wondered what they were doing...", ">\n\nI love this sequel to Beginning of the End!", ">\n\nIs there a way I can buy a physical version?", ">\n\nThey're Demo-cats!", ">\n\nAny recommendations of the best way to get this printed semi-professionally? I tried checking Costco photo centre but they make you use a template.", ">\n\nOf course it’s Portland.", ">\n\nKind of disappointing I can't actually buy a printed one. My daughter would love this.", ">\n\nA pretty good idea for a poster. Who doesn't like cats being cats?", ">\n\nI really wish I had become a part of the ACOE but my mother didn't want her only son in the military.", ">\n\nUsace has civilian positions you're employed by the army, but you don't go through basic", ">\n\nI hope they pay more than Nidec.", ">\n\nThanks for sharing! Downloaded and got my new Lock Screen wallpaper.", ">\n\nDecember is 🔥", ">\n\nObligatory Cat Dynamics", ">\n\nPoliticians will say this is the proof of the REAL reason of why our infrastructure is deteriorating, then vote in a measure to hire their friends and family to counter this threat.", ">\n\nI didnt know cats were domestic terrorists like Republicans. lol", ">\n\nThis is the only kind of apocalypse I could see myself getting excited about.", ">\n\nAugust a missed opportunity to have CAT Excavators.", ">\n\nYou have my attention.", ">\n\nSmart move", ">\n\nGod help us.", ">\n\nBest thing to come out of the Army post WWII.", ">\n\n🤔", ">\n\n\"Let's write a two paragraph article about something freely available on the internet and make absolutely no attempt to actually tell you where to find it\".", ">\n\nCatjira!", ">\n\nhilarious!", ">\n\nFinally", ">\n\nThis is the oniony-est story I’ve seen on here in a while", ">\n\nCant wait for the next spending bill to include cat proofing our infrastructure", ">\n\nHonestly… I’d buy it.", ">\n\nWish I would have heard of that in November or so. This seems unique, fun and a great idea for a calendar.", ">\n\nI heard about this from Last Podcast on the Left, glad to see it pop up on my feed with pictures!", ">\n\nI'm gonna need an NSN For that...", ">\n\nOf course it’s the Portland District", ">\n\nHonestly this is worth buying", ">\n\nIm not a cat person, but I would buy the calendar.", ">\n\nAny way to view the album without losing my mind on that website? God it's shit on mobile.", ">\n\nI especially love how June just looks like a well framed optical illusion photo.", ">\n\nThis is cute and all, but man, it seems a little poor in taste that August is a kitty-shaped military drone blowing up an Iraqi preschool", ">\n\nWhat did Oregon do to deserve this", ">\n\nGee I read that and instantly I thought they had done a study and released an estimated calendar of when an where giant cats would attack infrastructure in 2023. Phew.", ">\n\nOn that day, humanity received a grim reminder…", ">\n\nah yes\nPortland keeping it weird again", ">\n\nit’s cute, but who wrote the copy?", ">\n\nAmazing", ">\n\neverything changed when the cat nation attacked", ">\n\nI'm into it", ">\n\nnow this is what I want my tax dollars going towards", ">\n\nI'd love to believe that there was some huge misunderstanding and somewhere someone had actually meant CATs like the company with the big heavy machinery", ">\n\nThe word \"attacking\" is doing a lot of work here", ">\n\nW", ">\n\nLook, I’m pretty anti-government, but this I can get behind", ">\n\nCattack on titan", ">\n\nI'm a civil engineer.\nI would fucking LOVE this.\nThis'll go good in my office next to my other engineering / math punny comics.\nLike this one.\nOr this one.\nOr, maybe this one.", ">\n\nThe Only well spent part of the military budget", ">\n\nI might buy it", ">\n\nWhat the fuck is that website", ">\n\nThis is great!", ">\n\nAugust is great.", ">\n\nNow the real MVP will tell us how to print this like an actual calendar.", ">\n\nThe only thing worthy of my tax dollars that the military has done this year.", ">\n\nOk, now we need a class II space laser pointer to distract the giant cats away from vital infrastructure.", ">\n\nThey all are so good. My favorite is May, then September.", ">\n\nOh... good.", ">\n\nThose paragraphs are hilarious." ]

[ "Imagine the work order. \nYour boss comes to you and says, \"Hey, you're in charge of the cats calendar.\"\n\"What calendar?\"\n\"The one with cats attacking infrastructure?\"\n\"What?\"", ">\n\nyou miss ONE day...", ">\n\nHail Vectron!", ">\n\nBy Vectron!", ">\n\nFor those yet to experience the holy might of Vectron's kindly claw", ">\n\nThank you. I had no idea.", ">\n\nYou are most welcome by Vectron", ">\n\nFor the love of all that is Vectron, your speech warms my Vectronic heart.", ">\n\nMay Vectron’s beard shed its benevolence upon us. 🙏🏻🙏🏻", ">\n\nAnd may all of his correspondence to us be sent Vectronically. So it is written, so shall it be done.", ">\n\nI live in Oregon and started to recognize a bunch of the dams, so I was like, “huh, that’s kinda cool.” Then I saw the text at the bottom of the first page. Portland District. Now a cat calendar makes perfect sense.", ">\n\nSame thing happened to me. I think I'm going to head to kinko's and have them print it out for me.", ">\n\nTell them you need to print some important official military documents before you show them what it is", ">\n\nDon’t forget to tell them you need it right meow!", ">\n\nWho will protect our infrastructure from this menace?", ">\n\nAn array of laser pointers.", ">\n\ncut to giant laser pointer satellite", ">\n\nomigod the jewish space lasers were real", ">\n\n*meowish space lasers", ">\n\nHey that's racist", ">\n\nI think it would be cheaper to buy a calendar than use the ink/toner required to print it.", ">\n\nThat's why you print it at work.", ">\n\nhaha true, oh wait I work from home...", ">\n\nIf you print from home for work you can write printer supplies off on your taxes :)", ">\n\nUh yes boss I needed a calendar, so… oh what? Use the company one? Ummm but the US army has a really nice one and I thought I’d be patriotic - what? Oh, yeah I know we’re in Canada, I just…", ">\n\nPortland is pretty much wannabe Vancouver, BC. I say it goes!", ">\n\nExactly what a Canadian would say...", ">\n\nGoodies, goodie goodie, yum yum.", ">\n\nI just scrolled until I found The Goodies reference but was wondering if I was going to find one at all.", ">\n\nIt's way down the list, isn't it? \n/knees hurt.", ">\n\nOw, my back! Get off my lawn!", ">\n\nOne engineer did it in his free time, and released it for use through the corps. \nThis was NOT government funded.", ">\n\nEven if it was government funded, I support this.", ">\n\nEven if it was government funded it would've been like maybe one day of pay at most? Not a ton for the amount of publicity they'll get that might make them even more money.", ">\n\nAssuming they already have the infrastructure pictures I would be surprised if it took more than 4 work hours. Also for chronically underfunded agencies that kind of PR is exactly how you get voters to convince the politicians to increase funds. I look forward to NASA figuring out how to photoshop giant cats playing with the planets like balls of yarn for their calendar", ">\n\n\nI look forward to NASA figuring out how to photoshop giant cats playing with the planets like balls of yarn for their calendar \n\nWell let me introduce you to the most bizarre social media messaging from an official U.S. government agency: The U.S. Consumer Product Safety Commission's Instagram feed. \nAnd before I catch any \"there's no way this is real\" replies, here's the Washington Post covering it: \n\nHow a federal bureaucrat uses astronaut babies and dogs riding pigeons to try to save your life", ">\n\nThis is rad!", ">\n\nCISA losing their shit rn", ">\n\nI would like one.", ">\n\nIt's a free PDF.", ">\n\nNo he would like one of the cats", ">\n\nyOu wOuLdN'T DoWnloAd a cAT", ">\n\nI can’t believe they included Sherlock getting knocked off a cliff. At least he didn’t jump this time.", ">\n\nI'm shocked that you're the only person I've seen comment on this so far! it's hilarious", ">\n\n\"Every year, dozens of cats attack important infrastructure for our country causing dozens of dollars of damage. Won't you help?\"", ">\n\nI heard this with Sarah McLoughlin's voice", ">\n\nArmy Cats", ">\n\nNow do it with pictures of our crumbling infrastructure.", ">\n\nThis seems like one of those things that is somehow going to age poorly given our Universe's current sense of irony. I don't know how exactly, but there's going to be some mass tragedy involving cats and a suspension bridge or something this year.", ">\n\nThe first image kind of reads like \"this infrastructure is super important so don't damage it\". The calendar almost seems like a shopping list for domestic terrorists or something lol.", ">\n\nI mean, pretty obvious that dams, substations, bridges and the like are good targets for chaos. Google maps gives you all this plus Police stations and everything, with photos and the address. Useless to worry about it", ">\n\nSeriously, anyone who unironicly think terrorists were waiting for a cat calendar to list a bunch of locations to bomb is paranoid about the wrong things.", ">\n\nCats would hunt and eat us if they were bigger than us", ">\n\nThey already do, they are called Tigers.", ">\n\nIf there were smaller tigers, we would keep them as pets, but they'd break all our stuff to prove they're still in charge.", ">\n\nThey already do, they are called Cats.", ">\n\nOH MY GOD!", ">\n\nMy tabby is a cute little tiger", ">\n\nI knew we had infrastructure challenges, but I didn't realize we were facing an infrastructure cat-astrophe!", ">\n\nTake my r/angryupvote", ">\n\nI love how shitty the photoshop is. Really ties it all together", ">\n\nYeah I like the idea--but the pictures chosen and color grading are all off. I'd like this idea better executed more professionally.", ">\n\nOh no I'm serious. The unprofessionalism is the best part. I would absolutely pay money for this", ">\n\nOnly only thing weirder is gonna be their crazy ass plan to save the infrastructure.", ">\n\nIt's the engineer Corp, they can build giant cat carriers.", ">\n\nI guess anything beats the 40 million they spend on viagra to keep the soldiers saluting.", ">\n\nThis is delightful", ">\n\ni was imagining mountain lions breaking in to dumpsters or something, not giant house cats gnawing on substations, not disappointed.", ">\n\nI don’t need a calendar now that our pocket rectangles handle all of that for us, but I really want this calendar.", ">\n\nIt is really convenient to just walk by my schedule versus having to pull it up, scroll, click and expand. I tend to forget about things if I don’t see it in front of me, but that’s just how my brain works. Plus if you’re on the phone trying to schedule something it’s nice to write it out too.", ">\n\nI'm sorry, we're already booked for giant spiders.", ">\n\nI personally kinda love this.", ">\n\nBest use of a miniscule amount of our tax dollars in the entire US $1.7T budget. US Army Corp wins the internet today!", ">\n\nHonestly, the entire army corps of engineers may be one of highest rates of return on public good vs funding", ">\n\nSeriously. They do a shit ton of quality and important public work on a relatively shoe-string budget for engineering. I have a lot of respect for the people that work at the USACOE.", ">\n\nSeptember, now that one is art", ">\n\nHaters will say it's Photoshop.", ">\n\nThey’ve never seen Catzilla.", ">\n\nHero of the Week! Hail yourself!", ">\n\nThere it is!", ">\n\n\nThe Army Corps Of Engineers Has Released a 2023 Calendar Of Giant Cats Attacking <\n\nr/brand new sentence \nAlso, giant cats attacking infrastructure is so 2020. In 2023 it just sounds silly.", ">\n\nSeptember ❤️", ">\n\nOmg. I love this. Especially the text blurbs on the pictures. Very funny and adorable!", ">\n\nSounds like they understand cats are required if you want social media traction", ">\n\nI have never wanted to buy a calendar more than I do now!", ">\n\nOn the one hand, I applaud the idea.\nOn the other hand, the photoshop skills look like they came from the army corps of engineers.", ">\n\nWould you actually want them to look like they were perfectly matched to each environment? I'm pretty sure the comedic effect is all that matters here.\nAnd besides, it was just one engineer that created this on their spare time, rather than an official ACE production.", ">\n\nI was mainly being a bit snarky because the internet. That, and what I said was objectively true.", ">\n\nCan confirm, the Corps of Engineers fuckkkkks", ">\n\nGoddammit I just bought my 2023 calendar too lol", ">\n\nThat’s cute though, not worrisome like a lot of other r/nottheonion posts.", ">\n\nAs ever, the Army Corps of Engineers are the one branch of the US state that can get the important shit done", ">\n\nFrom the comments ITT it's evident that most people are unaware of how important they are to the lives of the majority of productive people in this country (people who live near a coastline or a major body of water). It's not just dams and rivers, it's the actual physical coastline of america that they look after.", ">\n\nYup, it seems double edged- people think oh, they're the army corps and assumes they must be doing only military stuff. But equally if it was civilianised no doubt it'd be a target for cuts. An incredible org, regardless. And whether it's cats or weather or warming or the collapse of neglected infrastructure they're going to get more and more important so it's a damn good thing they exist because in 2023, nobody would invent them...", ">\n\nUSACE is an agency that is funded by the DOD but is vastly ran by civilians. There are very few enlisted or commissioned people in the army corps.", ">\n\nOK this is a thing and this is awesome", ">\n\nOops, I had \"Zombie Redneck Torture Family\" in the betting pool.", ">\n\nGrumble. Never gonna see a merman...", ">\n\nUSACE Portland District is one of the absolute best public sector social media presences out there. Seriously. Check it out.", ">\n\nCats in military pictures is an entire IG channel", ">\n\nGood boot", ">\n\nCommand team must be TDY", ">\n\nThat was even better than the title made me think it would be.", ">\n\nI support my tax dollars going to causes such as this.", ">\n\nFinally tax dollars doing something good", ">\n\nI’m kind of disappointed. From the title, I thought there would be photos of actual big cats attacking infrastructure, not photoshopped domestic cats. Anyone have a photo of a puma going after an electrical substation? Or a tiger gnawing on a water line?", ">\n\nNo. No one has that. Would be very interesting though to compile a calendar like that. Peace brother.", ">\n\nGreat, now I need a color printer.\nSeriously, thank you u/radioman8414!", ">\n\nThis is how I want my tax money spent. Downloaded and put up in my office!", ">\n\nThe regional social media guy who put this together is constantly hilarious", ">\n\nGreatest calendar of 2023.", ">\n\nI need one of these for my office! I've worked on some of these dams!", ">\n\nCan I ask you some dam questions?? I’m sure you know a lot of dam information. I’m sure all of us would love some dam stories. Thank you.", ">\n\nSure way to have a more interesting calendar than just infrastructure.", ">\n\nI would so adopt one if they existed.", ">\n\nI've heard army corps of engineers are very difficult to house train. May want to consider before adopting one.", ">\n\nTouché.", ">\n\nThat's amazing, thank you for posting it!", ">\n\nIs there anywhere to buy a nice physical copy of the calendar?", ">\n\nThose cats are mind-controlled by taxoplasmosis alien ameobas!", ">\n\nI was thinking this was gonna be mountain lions taking out maintenance huts or something like that. This is so much better", ">\n\nI’m the daughter of a former Portland, Oregon, US Army Corps Engineer, and I can confirm they are a strange crew. It makes me view the dams on the Columbia River fondly?", ">\n\nI love this so much.", ">\n\nDude. Awesome.", ">\n\nI love this! My astronomy teacher once did a talk on space cats. It was hysterical. Out of the blue he showed us pictures of space with cats added in. He felt we needed a fun class for laughs. I want this calendar.", ">\n\nThis would be really cool if they got a decent digital artist. But they didn't, they used photoshop about as well as I can.", ">\n\nI think that adds to the charm", ">\n\nDon't even need to see it, where can I buy it", ">\n\nFrom the link - \"Because the Army Corps is a Government Agency, the calendar is in public domain and totally free to download and print\"", ">\n\nThis is so funny, because it’s my Dad’s old workplace (from 1971 until he retired). My father, however, has zero sense of humor so he’d never work on something like this.", ">\n\nI met a guy from the Army Corps of Engineers when I worked for the EPA. Smartest guy I've ever met and the 2nd most hippe like person I've ever met. I'd like to think he had something to do with this idea.", ">\n\nFinally the massive military budget of the US is put to good use.", ">\n\nThis is awesome. I might have to buy one.", ">\n\nNo need. It's free, though you have to print it yourself if you want a physical copy", ">\n\nThis is so adorable! I approve wholeheartedly.", ">\n\nIt's about time.", ">\n\nSappers lead the way", ">\n\nI have so much love for this.", ">\n\nEhisssayons.", ">\n\nLove it.", ">\n\nUnintended benefits of relaxed Marijuana policies :)", ">\n\nUsace has not relaxed cannabis policies. No federal agency has", ">\n\nThey certainly have relaxed policy, even though federal law hasn't changed. It's legal in my state and the current administration has announced they won't be pursuing user level Marijuana charges at the federal level.\nWake up.", ">\n\nUSACE still falls under the same policies as the rest of the army. They're treated as DA civilians, and subject to periodic biochemical testing and the resultant consequences if they pee hot. The army has, and will not in the foreseeable future, relax any policy regarding marijuana.", ">\n\nAdorable idea; wish they had hired someone better at photoshop", ">\n\nIts a free gag calendar that was probably just put together by someone for fun in their spare time. Considering the state of infrastructure in the US I don't imagine the Corps of Engineers has a lot of extra spending money to throw around", ">\n\nIf they were smart, they would print it for us and sell it. I don't want a crappy calender that I printed on regular paper, I want the real thing and I would be glad to pay for it.", ">\n\nGenius!! This needs to be a trend. Reddit, make it so...", ">\n\nfuck yeah we finally gonna balance the budget", ">\n\nDecember's hilarious. I want this calender.", ">\n\nYou can totally tell that this is not real. The lighting on the cats is so obviously different than the environmental mistake. Pathetic effort infrastructure geeks.", ">\n\nSo they can blame cats for shoddy workmanship and lax maintenance.", ">\n\nDon't capitalize \"Of\" in titles", ">\n\nWish they'd focus on not taking eight years to permit a fucking project, those lazy excuses for engineers.", ">\n\nYou’re crazy dude. These peeps have built some amazing things. Extremely impressive.", ">\n\nThey used to.", ">\n\n😂", ">\n\nThis whole absurd thing is exactly my sense of humour. LOVE it.", ">\n\nOregon! I've seen the one at Detroit Dam. Sneaky bugger. Hangs out with Bigfoot.", ">\n\nI need this", ">\n\nThat's some adorable terrorism right there.", ">\n\nI remember seeing them, on quad bikes, with a lot of equipment, on Myrtle Beach beaches, I always wondered what they were doing...", ">\n\nI love this sequel to Beginning of the End!", ">\n\nIs there a way I can buy a physical version?", ">\n\nThey're Demo-cats!", ">\n\nAny recommendations of the best way to get this printed semi-professionally? I tried checking Costco photo centre but they make you use a template.", ">\n\nOf course it’s Portland.", ">\n\nKind of disappointing I can't actually buy a printed one. My daughter would love this.", ">\n\nA pretty good idea for a poster. Who doesn't like cats being cats?", ">\n\nI really wish I had become a part of the ACOE but my mother didn't want her only son in the military.", ">\n\nUsace has civilian positions you're employed by the army, but you don't go through basic", ">\n\nI hope they pay more than Nidec.", ">\n\nThanks for sharing! Downloaded and got my new Lock Screen wallpaper.", ">\n\nDecember is 🔥", ">\n\nObligatory Cat Dynamics", ">\n\nPoliticians will say this is the proof of the REAL reason of why our infrastructure is deteriorating, then vote in a measure to hire their friends and family to counter this threat.", ">\n\nI didnt know cats were domestic terrorists like Republicans. lol", ">\n\nThis is the only kind of apocalypse I could see myself getting excited about.", ">\n\nAugust a missed opportunity to have CAT Excavators.", ">\n\nYou have my attention.", ">\n\nSmart move", ">\n\nGod help us.", ">\n\nBest thing to come out of the Army post WWII.", ">\n\n🤔", ">\n\n\"Let's write a two paragraph article about something freely available on the internet and make absolutely no attempt to actually tell you where to find it\".", ">\n\nCatjira!", ">\n\nhilarious!", ">\n\nFinally", ">\n\nThis is the oniony-est story I’ve seen on here in a while", ">\n\nCant wait for the next spending bill to include cat proofing our infrastructure", ">\n\nHonestly… I’d buy it.", ">\n\nWish I would have heard of that in November or so. This seems unique, fun and a great idea for a calendar.", ">\n\nI heard about this from Last Podcast on the Left, glad to see it pop up on my feed with pictures!", ">\n\nI'm gonna need an NSN For that...", ">\n\nOf course it’s the Portland District", ">\n\nHonestly this is worth buying", ">\n\nIm not a cat person, but I would buy the calendar.", ">\n\nAny way to view the album without losing my mind on that website? God it's shit on mobile.", ">\n\nI especially love how June just looks like a well framed optical illusion photo.", ">\n\nThis is cute and all, but man, it seems a little poor in taste that August is a kitty-shaped military drone blowing up an Iraqi preschool", ">\n\nWhat did Oregon do to deserve this", ">\n\nGee I read that and instantly I thought they had done a study and released an estimated calendar of when an where giant cats would attack infrastructure in 2023. Phew.", ">\n\nOn that day, humanity received a grim reminder…", ">\n\nah yes\nPortland keeping it weird again", ">\n\nit’s cute, but who wrote the copy?", ">\n\nAmazing", ">\n\neverything changed when the cat nation attacked", ">\n\nI'm into it", ">\n\nnow this is what I want my tax dollars going towards", ">\n\nI'd love to believe that there was some huge misunderstanding and somewhere someone had actually meant CATs like the company with the big heavy machinery", ">\n\nThe word \"attacking\" is doing a lot of work here", ">\n\nW", ">\n\nLook, I’m pretty anti-government, but this I can get behind", ">\n\nCattack on titan", ">\n\nI'm a civil engineer.\nI would fucking LOVE this.\nThis'll go good in my office next to my other engineering / math punny comics.\nLike this one.\nOr this one.\nOr, maybe this one.", ">\n\nThe Only well spent part of the military budget", ">\n\nI might buy it", ">\n\nWhat the fuck is that website", ">\n\nThis is great!", ">\n\nAugust is great.", ">\n\nNow the real MVP will tell us how to print this like an actual calendar.", ">\n\nThe only thing worthy of my tax dollars that the military has done this year.", ">\n\nOk, now we need a class II space laser pointer to distract the giant cats away from vital infrastructure.", ">\n\nThey all are so good. My favorite is May, then September.", ">\n\nOh... good.", ">\n\nThose paragraphs are hilarious.", ">\n\nNow THIS is news!" ]

[ "Imagine the work order. \nYour boss comes to you and says, \"Hey, you're in charge of the cats calendar.\"\n\"What calendar?\"\n\"The one with cats attacking infrastructure?\"\n\"What?\"", ">\n\nyou miss ONE day...", ">\n\nHail Vectron!", ">\n\nBy Vectron!", ">\n\nFor those yet to experience the holy might of Vectron's kindly claw", ">\n\nThank you. I had no idea.", ">\n\nYou are most welcome by Vectron", ">\n\nFor the love of all that is Vectron, your speech warms my Vectronic heart.", ">\n\nMay Vectron’s beard shed its benevolence upon us. 🙏🏻🙏🏻", ">\n\nAnd may all of his correspondence to us be sent Vectronically. So it is written, so shall it be done.", ">\n\nI live in Oregon and started to recognize a bunch of the dams, so I was like, “huh, that’s kinda cool.” Then I saw the text at the bottom of the first page. Portland District. Now a cat calendar makes perfect sense.", ">\n\nSame thing happened to me. I think I'm going to head to kinko's and have them print it out for me.", ">\n\nTell them you need to print some important official military documents before you show them what it is", ">\n\nDon’t forget to tell them you need it right meow!", ">\n\nWho will protect our infrastructure from this menace?", ">\n\nAn array of laser pointers.", ">\n\ncut to giant laser pointer satellite", ">\n\nomigod the jewish space lasers were real", ">\n\n*meowish space lasers", ">\n\nHey that's racist", ">\n\nI think it would be cheaper to buy a calendar than use the ink/toner required to print it.", ">\n\nThat's why you print it at work.", ">\n\nhaha true, oh wait I work from home...", ">\n\nIf you print from home for work you can write printer supplies off on your taxes :)", ">\n\nUh yes boss I needed a calendar, so… oh what? Use the company one? Ummm but the US army has a really nice one and I thought I’d be patriotic - what? Oh, yeah I know we’re in Canada, I just…", ">\n\nPortland is pretty much wannabe Vancouver, BC. I say it goes!", ">\n\nExactly what a Canadian would say...", ">\n\nGoodies, goodie goodie, yum yum.", ">\n\nI just scrolled until I found The Goodies reference but was wondering if I was going to find one at all.", ">\n\nIt's way down the list, isn't it? \n/knees hurt.", ">\n\nOw, my back! Get off my lawn!", ">\n\nOne engineer did it in his free time, and released it for use through the corps. \nThis was NOT government funded.", ">\n\nEven if it was government funded, I support this.", ">\n\nEven if it was government funded it would've been like maybe one day of pay at most? Not a ton for the amount of publicity they'll get that might make them even more money.", ">\n\nAssuming they already have the infrastructure pictures I would be surprised if it took more than 4 work hours. Also for chronically underfunded agencies that kind of PR is exactly how you get voters to convince the politicians to increase funds. I look forward to NASA figuring out how to photoshop giant cats playing with the planets like balls of yarn for their calendar", ">\n\n\nI look forward to NASA figuring out how to photoshop giant cats playing with the planets like balls of yarn for their calendar \n\nWell let me introduce you to the most bizarre social media messaging from an official U.S. government agency: The U.S. Consumer Product Safety Commission's Instagram feed. \nAnd before I catch any \"there's no way this is real\" replies, here's the Washington Post covering it: \n\nHow a federal bureaucrat uses astronaut babies and dogs riding pigeons to try to save your life", ">\n\nThis is rad!", ">\n\nCISA losing their shit rn", ">\n\nI would like one.", ">\n\nIt's a free PDF.", ">\n\nNo he would like one of the cats", ">\n\nyOu wOuLdN'T DoWnloAd a cAT", ">\n\nI can’t believe they included Sherlock getting knocked off a cliff. At least he didn’t jump this time.", ">\n\nI'm shocked that you're the only person I've seen comment on this so far! it's hilarious", ">\n\n\"Every year, dozens of cats attack important infrastructure for our country causing dozens of dollars of damage. Won't you help?\"", ">\n\nI heard this with Sarah McLoughlin's voice", ">\n\nArmy Cats", ">\n\nNow do it with pictures of our crumbling infrastructure.", ">\n\nThis seems like one of those things that is somehow going to age poorly given our Universe's current sense of irony. I don't know how exactly, but there's going to be some mass tragedy involving cats and a suspension bridge or something this year.", ">\n\nThe first image kind of reads like \"this infrastructure is super important so don't damage it\". The calendar almost seems like a shopping list for domestic terrorists or something lol.", ">\n\nI mean, pretty obvious that dams, substations, bridges and the like are good targets for chaos. Google maps gives you all this plus Police stations and everything, with photos and the address. Useless to worry about it", ">\n\nSeriously, anyone who unironicly think terrorists were waiting for a cat calendar to list a bunch of locations to bomb is paranoid about the wrong things.", ">\n\nCats would hunt and eat us if they were bigger than us", ">\n\nThey already do, they are called Tigers.", ">\n\nIf there were smaller tigers, we would keep them as pets, but they'd break all our stuff to prove they're still in charge.", ">\n\nThey already do, they are called Cats.", ">\n\nOH MY GOD!", ">\n\nMy tabby is a cute little tiger", ">\n\nI knew we had infrastructure challenges, but I didn't realize we were facing an infrastructure cat-astrophe!", ">\n\nTake my r/angryupvote", ">\n\nI love how shitty the photoshop is. Really ties it all together", ">\n\nYeah I like the idea--but the pictures chosen and color grading are all off. I'd like this idea better executed more professionally.", ">\n\nOh no I'm serious. The unprofessionalism is the best part. I would absolutely pay money for this", ">\n\nOnly only thing weirder is gonna be their crazy ass plan to save the infrastructure.", ">\n\nIt's the engineer Corp, they can build giant cat carriers.", ">\n\nI guess anything beats the 40 million they spend on viagra to keep the soldiers saluting.", ">\n\nThis is delightful", ">\n\ni was imagining mountain lions breaking in to dumpsters or something, not giant house cats gnawing on substations, not disappointed.", ">\n\nI don’t need a calendar now that our pocket rectangles handle all of that for us, but I really want this calendar.", ">\n\nIt is really convenient to just walk by my schedule versus having to pull it up, scroll, click and expand. I tend to forget about things if I don’t see it in front of me, but that’s just how my brain works. Plus if you’re on the phone trying to schedule something it’s nice to write it out too.", ">\n\nI'm sorry, we're already booked for giant spiders.", ">\n\nI personally kinda love this.", ">\n\nBest use of a miniscule amount of our tax dollars in the entire US $1.7T budget. US Army Corp wins the internet today!", ">\n\nHonestly, the entire army corps of engineers may be one of highest rates of return on public good vs funding", ">\n\nSeriously. They do a shit ton of quality and important public work on a relatively shoe-string budget for engineering. I have a lot of respect for the people that work at the USACOE.", ">\n\nSeptember, now that one is art", ">\n\nHaters will say it's Photoshop.", ">\n\nThey’ve never seen Catzilla.", ">\n\nHero of the Week! Hail yourself!", ">\n\nThere it is!", ">\n\n\nThe Army Corps Of Engineers Has Released a 2023 Calendar Of Giant Cats Attacking <\n\nr/brand new sentence \nAlso, giant cats attacking infrastructure is so 2020. In 2023 it just sounds silly.", ">\n\nSeptember ❤️", ">\n\nOmg. I love this. Especially the text blurbs on the pictures. Very funny and adorable!", ">\n\nSounds like they understand cats are required if you want social media traction", ">\n\nI have never wanted to buy a calendar more than I do now!", ">\n\nOn the one hand, I applaud the idea.\nOn the other hand, the photoshop skills look like they came from the army corps of engineers.", ">\n\nWould you actually want them to look like they were perfectly matched to each environment? I'm pretty sure the comedic effect is all that matters here.\nAnd besides, it was just one engineer that created this on their spare time, rather than an official ACE production.", ">\n\nI was mainly being a bit snarky because the internet. That, and what I said was objectively true.", ">\n\nCan confirm, the Corps of Engineers fuckkkkks", ">\n\nGoddammit I just bought my 2023 calendar too lol", ">\n\nThat’s cute though, not worrisome like a lot of other r/nottheonion posts.", ">\n\nAs ever, the Army Corps of Engineers are the one branch of the US state that can get the important shit done", ">\n\nFrom the comments ITT it's evident that most people are unaware of how important they are to the lives of the majority of productive people in this country (people who live near a coastline or a major body of water). It's not just dams and rivers, it's the actual physical coastline of america that they look after.", ">\n\nYup, it seems double edged- people think oh, they're the army corps and assumes they must be doing only military stuff. But equally if it was civilianised no doubt it'd be a target for cuts. An incredible org, regardless. And whether it's cats or weather or warming or the collapse of neglected infrastructure they're going to get more and more important so it's a damn good thing they exist because in 2023, nobody would invent them...", ">\n\nUSACE is an agency that is funded by the DOD but is vastly ran by civilians. There are very few enlisted or commissioned people in the army corps.", ">\n\nOK this is a thing and this is awesome", ">\n\nOops, I had \"Zombie Redneck Torture Family\" in the betting pool.", ">\n\nGrumble. Never gonna see a merman...", ">\n\nUSACE Portland District is one of the absolute best public sector social media presences out there. Seriously. Check it out.", ">\n\nCats in military pictures is an entire IG channel", ">\n\nGood boot", ">\n\nCommand team must be TDY", ">\n\nThat was even better than the title made me think it would be.", ">\n\nI support my tax dollars going to causes such as this.", ">\n\nFinally tax dollars doing something good", ">\n\nI’m kind of disappointed. From the title, I thought there would be photos of actual big cats attacking infrastructure, not photoshopped domestic cats. Anyone have a photo of a puma going after an electrical substation? Or a tiger gnawing on a water line?", ">\n\nNo. No one has that. Would be very interesting though to compile a calendar like that. Peace brother.", ">\n\nGreat, now I need a color printer.\nSeriously, thank you u/radioman8414!", ">\n\nThis is how I want my tax money spent. Downloaded and put up in my office!", ">\n\nThe regional social media guy who put this together is constantly hilarious", ">\n\nGreatest calendar of 2023.", ">\n\nI need one of these for my office! I've worked on some of these dams!", ">\n\nCan I ask you some dam questions?? I’m sure you know a lot of dam information. I’m sure all of us would love some dam stories. Thank you.", ">\n\nSure way to have a more interesting calendar than just infrastructure.", ">\n\nI would so adopt one if they existed.", ">\n\nI've heard army corps of engineers are very difficult to house train. May want to consider before adopting one.", ">\n\nTouché.", ">\n\nThat's amazing, thank you for posting it!", ">\n\nIs there anywhere to buy a nice physical copy of the calendar?", ">\n\nThose cats are mind-controlled by taxoplasmosis alien ameobas!", ">\n\nI was thinking this was gonna be mountain lions taking out maintenance huts or something like that. This is so much better", ">\n\nI’m the daughter of a former Portland, Oregon, US Army Corps Engineer, and I can confirm they are a strange crew. It makes me view the dams on the Columbia River fondly?", ">\n\nI love this so much.", ">\n\nDude. Awesome.", ">\n\nI love this! My astronomy teacher once did a talk on space cats. It was hysterical. Out of the blue he showed us pictures of space with cats added in. He felt we needed a fun class for laughs. I want this calendar.", ">\n\nThis would be really cool if they got a decent digital artist. But they didn't, they used photoshop about as well as I can.", ">\n\nI think that adds to the charm", ">\n\nDon't even need to see it, where can I buy it", ">\n\nFrom the link - \"Because the Army Corps is a Government Agency, the calendar is in public domain and totally free to download and print\"", ">\n\nThis is so funny, because it’s my Dad’s old workplace (from 1971 until he retired). My father, however, has zero sense of humor so he’d never work on something like this.", ">\n\nI met a guy from the Army Corps of Engineers when I worked for the EPA. Smartest guy I've ever met and the 2nd most hippe like person I've ever met. I'd like to think he had something to do with this idea.", ">\n\nFinally the massive military budget of the US is put to good use.", ">\n\nThis is awesome. I might have to buy one.", ">\n\nNo need. It's free, though you have to print it yourself if you want a physical copy", ">\n\nThis is so adorable! I approve wholeheartedly.", ">\n\nIt's about time.", ">\n\nSappers lead the way", ">\n\nI have so much love for this.", ">\n\nEhisssayons.", ">\n\nLove it.", ">\n\nUnintended benefits of relaxed Marijuana policies :)", ">\n\nUsace has not relaxed cannabis policies. No federal agency has", ">\n\nThey certainly have relaxed policy, even though federal law hasn't changed. It's legal in my state and the current administration has announced they won't be pursuing user level Marijuana charges at the federal level.\nWake up.", ">\n\nUSACE still falls under the same policies as the rest of the army. They're treated as DA civilians, and subject to periodic biochemical testing and the resultant consequences if they pee hot. The army has, and will not in the foreseeable future, relax any policy regarding marijuana.", ">\n\nAdorable idea; wish they had hired someone better at photoshop", ">\n\nIts a free gag calendar that was probably just put together by someone for fun in their spare time. Considering the state of infrastructure in the US I don't imagine the Corps of Engineers has a lot of extra spending money to throw around", ">\n\nIf they were smart, they would print it for us and sell it. I don't want a crappy calender that I printed on regular paper, I want the real thing and I would be glad to pay for it.", ">\n\nGenius!! This needs to be a trend. Reddit, make it so...", ">\n\nfuck yeah we finally gonna balance the budget", ">\n\nDecember's hilarious. I want this calender.", ">\n\nYou can totally tell that this is not real. The lighting on the cats is so obviously different than the environmental mistake. Pathetic effort infrastructure geeks.", ">\n\nSo they can blame cats for shoddy workmanship and lax maintenance.", ">\n\nDon't capitalize \"Of\" in titles", ">\n\nWish they'd focus on not taking eight years to permit a fucking project, those lazy excuses for engineers.", ">\n\nYou’re crazy dude. These peeps have built some amazing things. Extremely impressive.", ">\n\nThey used to.", ">\n\n😂", ">\n\nThis whole absurd thing is exactly my sense of humour. LOVE it.", ">\n\nOregon! I've seen the one at Detroit Dam. Sneaky bugger. Hangs out with Bigfoot.", ">\n\nI need this", ">\n\nThat's some adorable terrorism right there.", ">\n\nI remember seeing them, on quad bikes, with a lot of equipment, on Myrtle Beach beaches, I always wondered what they were doing...", ">\n\nI love this sequel to Beginning of the End!", ">\n\nIs there a way I can buy a physical version?", ">\n\nThey're Demo-cats!", ">\n\nAny recommendations of the best way to get this printed semi-professionally? I tried checking Costco photo centre but they make you use a template.", ">\n\nOf course it’s Portland.", ">\n\nKind of disappointing I can't actually buy a printed one. My daughter would love this.", ">\n\nA pretty good idea for a poster. Who doesn't like cats being cats?", ">\n\nI really wish I had become a part of the ACOE but my mother didn't want her only son in the military.", ">\n\nUsace has civilian positions you're employed by the army, but you don't go through basic", ">\n\nI hope they pay more than Nidec.", ">\n\nThanks for sharing! Downloaded and got my new Lock Screen wallpaper.", ">\n\nDecember is 🔥", ">\n\nObligatory Cat Dynamics", ">\n\nPoliticians will say this is the proof of the REAL reason of why our infrastructure is deteriorating, then vote in a measure to hire their friends and family to counter this threat.", ">\n\nI didnt know cats were domestic terrorists like Republicans. lol", ">\n\nThis is the only kind of apocalypse I could see myself getting excited about.", ">\n\nAugust a missed opportunity to have CAT Excavators.", ">\n\nYou have my attention.", ">\n\nSmart move", ">\n\nGod help us.", ">\n\nBest thing to come out of the Army post WWII.", ">\n\n🤔", ">\n\n\"Let's write a two paragraph article about something freely available on the internet and make absolutely no attempt to actually tell you where to find it\".", ">\n\nCatjira!", ">\n\nhilarious!", ">\n\nFinally", ">\n\nThis is the oniony-est story I’ve seen on here in a while", ">\n\nCant wait for the next spending bill to include cat proofing our infrastructure", ">\n\nHonestly… I’d buy it.", ">\n\nWish I would have heard of that in November or so. This seems unique, fun and a great idea for a calendar.", ">\n\nI heard about this from Last Podcast on the Left, glad to see it pop up on my feed with pictures!", ">\n\nI'm gonna need an NSN For that...", ">\n\nOf course it’s the Portland District", ">\n\nHonestly this is worth buying", ">\n\nIm not a cat person, but I would buy the calendar.", ">\n\nAny way to view the album without losing my mind on that website? God it's shit on mobile.", ">\n\nI especially love how June just looks like a well framed optical illusion photo.", ">\n\nThis is cute and all, but man, it seems a little poor in taste that August is a kitty-shaped military drone blowing up an Iraqi preschool", ">\n\nWhat did Oregon do to deserve this", ">\n\nGee I read that and instantly I thought they had done a study and released an estimated calendar of when an where giant cats would attack infrastructure in 2023. Phew.", ">\n\nOn that day, humanity received a grim reminder…", ">\n\nah yes\nPortland keeping it weird again", ">\n\nit’s cute, but who wrote the copy?", ">\n\nAmazing", ">\n\neverything changed when the cat nation attacked", ">\n\nI'm into it", ">\n\nnow this is what I want my tax dollars going towards", ">\n\nI'd love to believe that there was some huge misunderstanding and somewhere someone had actually meant CATs like the company with the big heavy machinery", ">\n\nThe word \"attacking\" is doing a lot of work here", ">\n\nW", ">\n\nLook, I’m pretty anti-government, but this I can get behind", ">\n\nCattack on titan", ">\n\nI'm a civil engineer.\nI would fucking LOVE this.\nThis'll go good in my office next to my other engineering / math punny comics.\nLike this one.\nOr this one.\nOr, maybe this one.", ">\n\nThe Only well spent part of the military budget", ">\n\nI might buy it", ">\n\nWhat the fuck is that website", ">\n\nThis is great!", ">\n\nAugust is great.", ">\n\nNow the real MVP will tell us how to print this like an actual calendar.", ">\n\nThe only thing worthy of my tax dollars that the military has done this year.", ">\n\nOk, now we need a class II space laser pointer to distract the giant cats away from vital infrastructure.", ">\n\nThey all are so good. My favorite is May, then September.", ">\n\nOh... good.", ">\n\nThose paragraphs are hilarious.", ">\n\nNow THIS is news!", ">\n\nCatcatae" ]

[ "Imagine the work order. \nYour boss comes to you and says, \"Hey, you're in charge of the cats calendar.\"\n\"What calendar?\"\n\"The one with cats attacking infrastructure?\"\n\"What?\"", ">\n\nyou miss ONE day...", ">\n\nHail Vectron!", ">\n\nBy Vectron!", ">\n\nFor those yet to experience the holy might of Vectron's kindly claw", ">\n\nThank you. I had no idea.", ">\n\nYou are most welcome by Vectron", ">\n\nFor the love of all that is Vectron, your speech warms my Vectronic heart.", ">\n\nMay Vectron’s beard shed its benevolence upon us. 🙏🏻🙏🏻", ">\n\nAnd may all of his correspondence to us be sent Vectronically. So it is written, so shall it be done.", ">\n\nI live in Oregon and started to recognize a bunch of the dams, so I was like, “huh, that’s kinda cool.” Then I saw the text at the bottom of the first page. Portland District. Now a cat calendar makes perfect sense.", ">\n\nSame thing happened to me. I think I'm going to head to kinko's and have them print it out for me.", ">\n\nTell them you need to print some important official military documents before you show them what it is", ">\n\nDon’t forget to tell them you need it right meow!", ">\n\nWho will protect our infrastructure from this menace?", ">\n\nAn array of laser pointers.", ">\n\ncut to giant laser pointer satellite", ">\n\nomigod the jewish space lasers were real", ">\n\n*meowish space lasers", ">\n\nHey that's racist", ">\n\nI think it would be cheaper to buy a calendar than use the ink/toner required to print it.", ">\n\nThat's why you print it at work.", ">\n\nhaha true, oh wait I work from home...", ">\n\nIf you print from home for work you can write printer supplies off on your taxes :)", ">\n\nUh yes boss I needed a calendar, so… oh what? Use the company one? Ummm but the US army has a really nice one and I thought I’d be patriotic - what? Oh, yeah I know we’re in Canada, I just…", ">\n\nPortland is pretty much wannabe Vancouver, BC. I say it goes!", ">\n\nExactly what a Canadian would say...", ">\n\nGoodies, goodie goodie, yum yum.", ">\n\nI just scrolled until I found The Goodies reference but was wondering if I was going to find one at all.", ">\n\nIt's way down the list, isn't it? \n/knees hurt.", ">\n\nOw, my back! Get off my lawn!", ">\n\nOne engineer did it in his free time, and released it for use through the corps. \nThis was NOT government funded.", ">\n\nEven if it was government funded, I support this.", ">\n\nEven if it was government funded it would've been like maybe one day of pay at most? Not a ton for the amount of publicity they'll get that might make them even more money.", ">\n\nAssuming they already have the infrastructure pictures I would be surprised if it took more than 4 work hours. Also for chronically underfunded agencies that kind of PR is exactly how you get voters to convince the politicians to increase funds. I look forward to NASA figuring out how to photoshop giant cats playing with the planets like balls of yarn for their calendar", ">\n\n\nI look forward to NASA figuring out how to photoshop giant cats playing with the planets like balls of yarn for their calendar \n\nWell let me introduce you to the most bizarre social media messaging from an official U.S. government agency: The U.S. Consumer Product Safety Commission's Instagram feed. \nAnd before I catch any \"there's no way this is real\" replies, here's the Washington Post covering it: \n\nHow a federal bureaucrat uses astronaut babies and dogs riding pigeons to try to save your life", ">\n\nThis is rad!", ">\n\nCISA losing their shit rn", ">\n\nI would like one.", ">\n\nIt's a free PDF.", ">\n\nNo he would like one of the cats", ">\n\nyOu wOuLdN'T DoWnloAd a cAT", ">\n\nI can’t believe they included Sherlock getting knocked off a cliff. At least he didn’t jump this time.", ">\n\nI'm shocked that you're the only person I've seen comment on this so far! it's hilarious", ">\n\n\"Every year, dozens of cats attack important infrastructure for our country causing dozens of dollars of damage. Won't you help?\"", ">\n\nI heard this with Sarah McLoughlin's voice", ">\n\nArmy Cats", ">\n\nNow do it with pictures of our crumbling infrastructure.", ">\n\nThis seems like one of those things that is somehow going to age poorly given our Universe's current sense of irony. I don't know how exactly, but there's going to be some mass tragedy involving cats and a suspension bridge or something this year.", ">\n\nThe first image kind of reads like \"this infrastructure is super important so don't damage it\". The calendar almost seems like a shopping list for domestic terrorists or something lol.", ">\n\nI mean, pretty obvious that dams, substations, bridges and the like are good targets for chaos. Google maps gives you all this plus Police stations and everything, with photos and the address. Useless to worry about it", ">\n\nSeriously, anyone who unironicly think terrorists were waiting for a cat calendar to list a bunch of locations to bomb is paranoid about the wrong things.", ">\n\nCats would hunt and eat us if they were bigger than us", ">\n\nThey already do, they are called Tigers.", ">\n\nIf there were smaller tigers, we would keep them as pets, but they'd break all our stuff to prove they're still in charge.", ">\n\nThey already do, they are called Cats.", ">\n\nOH MY GOD!", ">\n\nMy tabby is a cute little tiger", ">\n\nI knew we had infrastructure challenges, but I didn't realize we were facing an infrastructure cat-astrophe!", ">\n\nTake my r/angryupvote", ">\n\nI love how shitty the photoshop is. Really ties it all together", ">\n\nYeah I like the idea--but the pictures chosen and color grading are all off. I'd like this idea better executed more professionally.", ">\n\nOh no I'm serious. The unprofessionalism is the best part. I would absolutely pay money for this", ">\n\nOnly only thing weirder is gonna be their crazy ass plan to save the infrastructure.", ">\n\nIt's the engineer Corp, they can build giant cat carriers.", ">\n\nI guess anything beats the 40 million they spend on viagra to keep the soldiers saluting.", ">\n\nThis is delightful", ">\n\ni was imagining mountain lions breaking in to dumpsters or something, not giant house cats gnawing on substations, not disappointed.", ">\n\nI don’t need a calendar now that our pocket rectangles handle all of that for us, but I really want this calendar.", ">\n\nIt is really convenient to just walk by my schedule versus having to pull it up, scroll, click and expand. I tend to forget about things if I don’t see it in front of me, but that’s just how my brain works. Plus if you’re on the phone trying to schedule something it’s nice to write it out too.", ">\n\nI'm sorry, we're already booked for giant spiders.", ">\n\nI personally kinda love this.", ">\n\nBest use of a miniscule amount of our tax dollars in the entire US $1.7T budget. US Army Corp wins the internet today!", ">\n\nHonestly, the entire army corps of engineers may be one of highest rates of return on public good vs funding", ">\n\nSeriously. They do a shit ton of quality and important public work on a relatively shoe-string budget for engineering. I have a lot of respect for the people that work at the USACOE.", ">\n\nSeptember, now that one is art", ">\n\nHaters will say it's Photoshop.", ">\n\nThey’ve never seen Catzilla.", ">\n\nHero of the Week! Hail yourself!", ">\n\nThere it is!", ">\n\n\nThe Army Corps Of Engineers Has Released a 2023 Calendar Of Giant Cats Attacking <\n\nr/brand new sentence \nAlso, giant cats attacking infrastructure is so 2020. In 2023 it just sounds silly.", ">\n\nSeptember ❤️", ">\n\nOmg. I love this. Especially the text blurbs on the pictures. Very funny and adorable!", ">\n\nSounds like they understand cats are required if you want social media traction", ">\n\nI have never wanted to buy a calendar more than I do now!", ">\n\nOn the one hand, I applaud the idea.\nOn the other hand, the photoshop skills look like they came from the army corps of engineers.", ">\n\nWould you actually want them to look like they were perfectly matched to each environment? I'm pretty sure the comedic effect is all that matters here.\nAnd besides, it was just one engineer that created this on their spare time, rather than an official ACE production.", ">\n\nI was mainly being a bit snarky because the internet. That, and what I said was objectively true.", ">\n\nCan confirm, the Corps of Engineers fuckkkkks", ">\n\nGoddammit I just bought my 2023 calendar too lol", ">\n\nThat’s cute though, not worrisome like a lot of other r/nottheonion posts.", ">\n\nAs ever, the Army Corps of Engineers are the one branch of the US state that can get the important shit done", ">\n\nFrom the comments ITT it's evident that most people are unaware of how important they are to the lives of the majority of productive people in this country (people who live near a coastline or a major body of water). It's not just dams and rivers, it's the actual physical coastline of america that they look after.", ">\n\nYup, it seems double edged- people think oh, they're the army corps and assumes they must be doing only military stuff. But equally if it was civilianised no doubt it'd be a target for cuts. An incredible org, regardless. And whether it's cats or weather or warming or the collapse of neglected infrastructure they're going to get more and more important so it's a damn good thing they exist because in 2023, nobody would invent them...", ">\n\nUSACE is an agency that is funded by the DOD but is vastly ran by civilians. There are very few enlisted or commissioned people in the army corps.", ">\n\nOK this is a thing and this is awesome", ">\n\nOops, I had \"Zombie Redneck Torture Family\" in the betting pool.", ">\n\nGrumble. Never gonna see a merman...", ">\n\nUSACE Portland District is one of the absolute best public sector social media presences out there. Seriously. Check it out.", ">\n\nCats in military pictures is an entire IG channel", ">\n\nGood boot", ">\n\nCommand team must be TDY", ">\n\nThat was even better than the title made me think it would be.", ">\n\nI support my tax dollars going to causes such as this.", ">\n\nFinally tax dollars doing something good", ">\n\nI’m kind of disappointed. From the title, I thought there would be photos of actual big cats attacking infrastructure, not photoshopped domestic cats. Anyone have a photo of a puma going after an electrical substation? Or a tiger gnawing on a water line?", ">\n\nNo. No one has that. Would be very interesting though to compile a calendar like that. Peace brother.", ">\n\nGreat, now I need a color printer.\nSeriously, thank you u/radioman8414!", ">\n\nThis is how I want my tax money spent. Downloaded and put up in my office!", ">\n\nThe regional social media guy who put this together is constantly hilarious", ">\n\nGreatest calendar of 2023.", ">\n\nI need one of these for my office! I've worked on some of these dams!", ">\n\nCan I ask you some dam questions?? I’m sure you know a lot of dam information. I’m sure all of us would love some dam stories. Thank you.", ">\n\nSure way to have a more interesting calendar than just infrastructure.", ">\n\nI would so adopt one if they existed.", ">\n\nI've heard army corps of engineers are very difficult to house train. May want to consider before adopting one.", ">\n\nTouché.", ">\n\nThat's amazing, thank you for posting it!", ">\n\nIs there anywhere to buy a nice physical copy of the calendar?", ">\n\nThose cats are mind-controlled by taxoplasmosis alien ameobas!", ">\n\nI was thinking this was gonna be mountain lions taking out maintenance huts or something like that. This is so much better", ">\n\nI’m the daughter of a former Portland, Oregon, US Army Corps Engineer, and I can confirm they are a strange crew. It makes me view the dams on the Columbia River fondly?", ">\n\nI love this so much.", ">\n\nDude. Awesome.", ">\n\nI love this! My astronomy teacher once did a talk on space cats. It was hysterical. Out of the blue he showed us pictures of space with cats added in. He felt we needed a fun class for laughs. I want this calendar.", ">\n\nThis would be really cool if they got a decent digital artist. But they didn't, they used photoshop about as well as I can.", ">\n\nI think that adds to the charm", ">\n\nDon't even need to see it, where can I buy it", ">\n\nFrom the link - \"Because the Army Corps is a Government Agency, the calendar is in public domain and totally free to download and print\"", ">\n\nThis is so funny, because it’s my Dad’s old workplace (from 1971 until he retired). My father, however, has zero sense of humor so he’d never work on something like this.", ">\n\nI met a guy from the Army Corps of Engineers when I worked for the EPA. Smartest guy I've ever met and the 2nd most hippe like person I've ever met. I'd like to think he had something to do with this idea.", ">\n\nFinally the massive military budget of the US is put to good use.", ">\n\nThis is awesome. I might have to buy one.", ">\n\nNo need. It's free, though you have to print it yourself if you want a physical copy", ">\n\nThis is so adorable! I approve wholeheartedly.", ">\n\nIt's about time.", ">\n\nSappers lead the way", ">\n\nI have so much love for this.", ">\n\nEhisssayons.", ">\n\nLove it.", ">\n\nUnintended benefits of relaxed Marijuana policies :)", ">\n\nUsace has not relaxed cannabis policies. No federal agency has", ">\n\nThey certainly have relaxed policy, even though federal law hasn't changed. It's legal in my state and the current administration has announced they won't be pursuing user level Marijuana charges at the federal level.\nWake up.", ">\n\nUSACE still falls under the same policies as the rest of the army. They're treated as DA civilians, and subject to periodic biochemical testing and the resultant consequences if they pee hot. The army has, and will not in the foreseeable future, relax any policy regarding marijuana.", ">\n\nAdorable idea; wish they had hired someone better at photoshop", ">\n\nIts a free gag calendar that was probably just put together by someone for fun in their spare time. Considering the state of infrastructure in the US I don't imagine the Corps of Engineers has a lot of extra spending money to throw around", ">\n\nIf they were smart, they would print it for us and sell it. I don't want a crappy calender that I printed on regular paper, I want the real thing and I would be glad to pay for it.", ">\n\nGenius!! This needs to be a trend. Reddit, make it so...", ">\n\nfuck yeah we finally gonna balance the budget", ">\n\nDecember's hilarious. I want this calender.", ">\n\nYou can totally tell that this is not real. The lighting on the cats is so obviously different than the environmental mistake. Pathetic effort infrastructure geeks.", ">\n\nSo they can blame cats for shoddy workmanship and lax maintenance.", ">\n\nDon't capitalize \"Of\" in titles", ">\n\nWish they'd focus on not taking eight years to permit a fucking project, those lazy excuses for engineers.", ">\n\nYou’re crazy dude. These peeps have built some amazing things. Extremely impressive.", ">\n\nThey used to.", ">\n\n😂", ">\n\nThis whole absurd thing is exactly my sense of humour. LOVE it.", ">\n\nOregon! I've seen the one at Detroit Dam. Sneaky bugger. Hangs out with Bigfoot.", ">\n\nI need this", ">\n\nThat's some adorable terrorism right there.", ">\n\nI remember seeing them, on quad bikes, with a lot of equipment, on Myrtle Beach beaches, I always wondered what they were doing...", ">\n\nI love this sequel to Beginning of the End!", ">\n\nIs there a way I can buy a physical version?", ">\n\nThey're Demo-cats!", ">\n\nAny recommendations of the best way to get this printed semi-professionally? I tried checking Costco photo centre but they make you use a template.", ">\n\nOf course it’s Portland.", ">\n\nKind of disappointing I can't actually buy a printed one. My daughter would love this.", ">\n\nA pretty good idea for a poster. Who doesn't like cats being cats?", ">\n\nI really wish I had become a part of the ACOE but my mother didn't want her only son in the military.", ">\n\nUsace has civilian positions you're employed by the army, but you don't go through basic", ">\n\nI hope they pay more than Nidec.", ">\n\nThanks for sharing! Downloaded and got my new Lock Screen wallpaper.", ">\n\nDecember is 🔥", ">\n\nObligatory Cat Dynamics", ">\n\nPoliticians will say this is the proof of the REAL reason of why our infrastructure is deteriorating, then vote in a measure to hire their friends and family to counter this threat.", ">\n\nI didnt know cats were domestic terrorists like Republicans. lol", ">\n\nThis is the only kind of apocalypse I could see myself getting excited about.", ">\n\nAugust a missed opportunity to have CAT Excavators.", ">\n\nYou have my attention.", ">\n\nSmart move", ">\n\nGod help us.", ">\n\nBest thing to come out of the Army post WWII.", ">\n\n🤔", ">\n\n\"Let's write a two paragraph article about something freely available on the internet and make absolutely no attempt to actually tell you where to find it\".", ">\n\nCatjira!", ">\n\nhilarious!", ">\n\nFinally", ">\n\nThis is the oniony-est story I’ve seen on here in a while", ">\n\nCant wait for the next spending bill to include cat proofing our infrastructure", ">\n\nHonestly… I’d buy it.", ">\n\nWish I would have heard of that in November or so. This seems unique, fun and a great idea for a calendar.", ">\n\nI heard about this from Last Podcast on the Left, glad to see it pop up on my feed with pictures!", ">\n\nI'm gonna need an NSN For that...", ">\n\nOf course it’s the Portland District", ">\n\nHonestly this is worth buying", ">\n\nIm not a cat person, but I would buy the calendar.", ">\n\nAny way to view the album without losing my mind on that website? God it's shit on mobile.", ">\n\nI especially love how June just looks like a well framed optical illusion photo.", ">\n\nThis is cute and all, but man, it seems a little poor in taste that August is a kitty-shaped military drone blowing up an Iraqi preschool", ">\n\nWhat did Oregon do to deserve this", ">\n\nGee I read that and instantly I thought they had done a study and released an estimated calendar of when an where giant cats would attack infrastructure in 2023. Phew.", ">\n\nOn that day, humanity received a grim reminder…", ">\n\nah yes\nPortland keeping it weird again", ">\n\nit’s cute, but who wrote the copy?", ">\n\nAmazing", ">\n\neverything changed when the cat nation attacked", ">\n\nI'm into it", ">\n\nnow this is what I want my tax dollars going towards", ">\n\nI'd love to believe that there was some huge misunderstanding and somewhere someone had actually meant CATs like the company with the big heavy machinery", ">\n\nThe word \"attacking\" is doing a lot of work here", ">\n\nW", ">\n\nLook, I’m pretty anti-government, but this I can get behind", ">\n\nCattack on titan", ">\n\nI'm a civil engineer.\nI would fucking LOVE this.\nThis'll go good in my office next to my other engineering / math punny comics.\nLike this one.\nOr this one.\nOr, maybe this one.", ">\n\nThe Only well spent part of the military budget", ">\n\nI might buy it", ">\n\nWhat the fuck is that website", ">\n\nThis is great!", ">\n\nAugust is great.", ">\n\nNow the real MVP will tell us how to print this like an actual calendar.", ">\n\nThe only thing worthy of my tax dollars that the military has done this year.", ">\n\nOk, now we need a class II space laser pointer to distract the giant cats away from vital infrastructure.", ">\n\nThey all are so good. My favorite is May, then September.", ">\n\nOh... good.", ">\n\nThose paragraphs are hilarious.", ">\n\nNow THIS is news!", ">\n\nCatcatae", ">\n\nThey would, if they could." ]

[ "Imagine the work order. \nYour boss comes to you and says, \"Hey, you're in charge of the cats calendar.\"\n\"What calendar?\"\n\"The one with cats attacking infrastructure?\"\n\"What?\"", ">\n\nyou miss ONE day...", ">\n\nHail Vectron!", ">\n\nBy Vectron!", ">\n\nFor those yet to experience the holy might of Vectron's kindly claw", ">\n\nThank you. I had no idea.", ">\n\nYou are most welcome by Vectron", ">\n\nFor the love of all that is Vectron, your speech warms my Vectronic heart.", ">\n\nMay Vectron’s beard shed its benevolence upon us. 🙏🏻🙏🏻", ">\n\nAnd may all of his correspondence to us be sent Vectronically. So it is written, so shall it be done.", ">\n\nI live in Oregon and started to recognize a bunch of the dams, so I was like, “huh, that’s kinda cool.” Then I saw the text at the bottom of the first page. Portland District. Now a cat calendar makes perfect sense.", ">\n\nSame thing happened to me. I think I'm going to head to kinko's and have them print it out for me.", ">\n\nTell them you need to print some important official military documents before you show them what it is", ">\n\nDon’t forget to tell them you need it right meow!", ">\n\nWho will protect our infrastructure from this menace?", ">\n\nAn array of laser pointers.", ">\n\ncut to giant laser pointer satellite", ">\n\nomigod the jewish space lasers were real", ">\n\n*meowish space lasers", ">\n\nHey that's racist", ">\n\nI think it would be cheaper to buy a calendar than use the ink/toner required to print it.", ">\n\nThat's why you print it at work.", ">\n\nhaha true, oh wait I work from home...", ">\n\nIf you print from home for work you can write printer supplies off on your taxes :)", ">\n\nUh yes boss I needed a calendar, so… oh what? Use the company one? Ummm but the US army has a really nice one and I thought I’d be patriotic - what? Oh, yeah I know we’re in Canada, I just…", ">\n\nPortland is pretty much wannabe Vancouver, BC. I say it goes!", ">\n\nExactly what a Canadian would say...", ">\n\nGoodies, goodie goodie, yum yum.", ">\n\nI just scrolled until I found The Goodies reference but was wondering if I was going to find one at all.", ">\n\nIt's way down the list, isn't it? \n/knees hurt.", ">\n\nOw, my back! Get off my lawn!", ">\n\nOne engineer did it in his free time, and released it for use through the corps. \nThis was NOT government funded.", ">\n\nEven if it was government funded, I support this.", ">\n\nEven if it was government funded it would've been like maybe one day of pay at most? Not a ton for the amount of publicity they'll get that might make them even more money.", ">\n\nAssuming they already have the infrastructure pictures I would be surprised if it took more than 4 work hours. Also for chronically underfunded agencies that kind of PR is exactly how you get voters to convince the politicians to increase funds. I look forward to NASA figuring out how to photoshop giant cats playing with the planets like balls of yarn for their calendar", ">\n\n\nI look forward to NASA figuring out how to photoshop giant cats playing with the planets like balls of yarn for their calendar \n\nWell let me introduce you to the most bizarre social media messaging from an official U.S. government agency: The U.S. Consumer Product Safety Commission's Instagram feed. \nAnd before I catch any \"there's no way this is real\" replies, here's the Washington Post covering it: \n\nHow a federal bureaucrat uses astronaut babies and dogs riding pigeons to try to save your life", ">\n\nThis is rad!", ">\n\nCISA losing their shit rn", ">\n\nI would like one.", ">\n\nIt's a free PDF.", ">\n\nNo he would like one of the cats", ">\n\nyOu wOuLdN'T DoWnloAd a cAT", ">\n\nI can’t believe they included Sherlock getting knocked off a cliff. At least he didn’t jump this time.", ">\n\nI'm shocked that you're the only person I've seen comment on this so far! it's hilarious", ">\n\n\"Every year, dozens of cats attack important infrastructure for our country causing dozens of dollars of damage. Won't you help?\"", ">\n\nI heard this with Sarah McLoughlin's voice", ">\n\nArmy Cats", ">\n\nNow do it with pictures of our crumbling infrastructure.", ">\n\nThis seems like one of those things that is somehow going to age poorly given our Universe's current sense of irony. I don't know how exactly, but there's going to be some mass tragedy involving cats and a suspension bridge or something this year.", ">\n\nThe first image kind of reads like \"this infrastructure is super important so don't damage it\". The calendar almost seems like a shopping list for domestic terrorists or something lol.", ">\n\nI mean, pretty obvious that dams, substations, bridges and the like are good targets for chaos. Google maps gives you all this plus Police stations and everything, with photos and the address. Useless to worry about it", ">\n\nSeriously, anyone who unironicly think terrorists were waiting for a cat calendar to list a bunch of locations to bomb is paranoid about the wrong things.", ">\n\nCats would hunt and eat us if they were bigger than us", ">\n\nThey already do, they are called Tigers.", ">\n\nIf there were smaller tigers, we would keep them as pets, but they'd break all our stuff to prove they're still in charge.", ">\n\nThey already do, they are called Cats.", ">\n\nOH MY GOD!", ">\n\nMy tabby is a cute little tiger", ">\n\nI knew we had infrastructure challenges, but I didn't realize we were facing an infrastructure cat-astrophe!", ">\n\nTake my r/angryupvote", ">\n\nI love how shitty the photoshop is. Really ties it all together", ">\n\nYeah I like the idea--but the pictures chosen and color grading are all off. I'd like this idea better executed more professionally.", ">\n\nOh no I'm serious. The unprofessionalism is the best part. I would absolutely pay money for this", ">\n\nOnly only thing weirder is gonna be their crazy ass plan to save the infrastructure.", ">\n\nIt's the engineer Corp, they can build giant cat carriers.", ">\n\nI guess anything beats the 40 million they spend on viagra to keep the soldiers saluting.", ">\n\nThis is delightful", ">\n\ni was imagining mountain lions breaking in to dumpsters or something, not giant house cats gnawing on substations, not disappointed.", ">\n\nI don’t need a calendar now that our pocket rectangles handle all of that for us, but I really want this calendar.", ">\n\nIt is really convenient to just walk by my schedule versus having to pull it up, scroll, click and expand. I tend to forget about things if I don’t see it in front of me, but that’s just how my brain works. Plus if you’re on the phone trying to schedule something it’s nice to write it out too.", ">\n\nI'm sorry, we're already booked for giant spiders.", ">\n\nI personally kinda love this.", ">\n\nBest use of a miniscule amount of our tax dollars in the entire US $1.7T budget. US Army Corp wins the internet today!", ">\n\nHonestly, the entire army corps of engineers may be one of highest rates of return on public good vs funding", ">\n\nSeriously. They do a shit ton of quality and important public work on a relatively shoe-string budget for engineering. I have a lot of respect for the people that work at the USACOE.", ">\n\nSeptember, now that one is art", ">\n\nHaters will say it's Photoshop.", ">\n\nThey’ve never seen Catzilla.", ">\n\nHero of the Week! Hail yourself!", ">\n\nThere it is!", ">\n\n\nThe Army Corps Of Engineers Has Released a 2023 Calendar Of Giant Cats Attacking <\n\nr/brand new sentence \nAlso, giant cats attacking infrastructure is so 2020. In 2023 it just sounds silly.", ">\n\nSeptember ❤️", ">\n\nOmg. I love this. Especially the text blurbs on the pictures. Very funny and adorable!", ">\n\nSounds like they understand cats are required if you want social media traction", ">\n\nI have never wanted to buy a calendar more than I do now!", ">\n\nOn the one hand, I applaud the idea.\nOn the other hand, the photoshop skills look like they came from the army corps of engineers.", ">\n\nWould you actually want them to look like they were perfectly matched to each environment? I'm pretty sure the comedic effect is all that matters here.\nAnd besides, it was just one engineer that created this on their spare time, rather than an official ACE production.", ">\n\nI was mainly being a bit snarky because the internet. That, and what I said was objectively true.", ">\n\nCan confirm, the Corps of Engineers fuckkkkks", ">\n\nGoddammit I just bought my 2023 calendar too lol", ">\n\nThat’s cute though, not worrisome like a lot of other r/nottheonion posts.", ">\n\nAs ever, the Army Corps of Engineers are the one branch of the US state that can get the important shit done", ">\n\nFrom the comments ITT it's evident that most people are unaware of how important they are to the lives of the majority of productive people in this country (people who live near a coastline or a major body of water). It's not just dams and rivers, it's the actual physical coastline of america that they look after.", ">\n\nYup, it seems double edged- people think oh, they're the army corps and assumes they must be doing only military stuff. But equally if it was civilianised no doubt it'd be a target for cuts. An incredible org, regardless. And whether it's cats or weather or warming or the collapse of neglected infrastructure they're going to get more and more important so it's a damn good thing they exist because in 2023, nobody would invent them...", ">\n\nUSACE is an agency that is funded by the DOD but is vastly ran by civilians. There are very few enlisted or commissioned people in the army corps.", ">\n\nOK this is a thing and this is awesome", ">\n\nOops, I had \"Zombie Redneck Torture Family\" in the betting pool.", ">\n\nGrumble. Never gonna see a merman...", ">\n\nUSACE Portland District is one of the absolute best public sector social media presences out there. Seriously. Check it out.", ">\n\nCats in military pictures is an entire IG channel", ">\n\nGood boot", ">\n\nCommand team must be TDY", ">\n\nThat was even better than the title made me think it would be.", ">\n\nI support my tax dollars going to causes such as this.", ">\n\nFinally tax dollars doing something good", ">\n\nI’m kind of disappointed. From the title, I thought there would be photos of actual big cats attacking infrastructure, not photoshopped domestic cats. Anyone have a photo of a puma going after an electrical substation? Or a tiger gnawing on a water line?", ">\n\nNo. No one has that. Would be very interesting though to compile a calendar like that. Peace brother.", ">\n\nGreat, now I need a color printer.\nSeriously, thank you u/radioman8414!", ">\n\nThis is how I want my tax money spent. Downloaded and put up in my office!", ">\n\nThe regional social media guy who put this together is constantly hilarious", ">\n\nGreatest calendar of 2023.", ">\n\nI need one of these for my office! I've worked on some of these dams!", ">\n\nCan I ask you some dam questions?? I’m sure you know a lot of dam information. I’m sure all of us would love some dam stories. Thank you.", ">\n\nSure way to have a more interesting calendar than just infrastructure.", ">\n\nI would so adopt one if they existed.", ">\n\nI've heard army corps of engineers are very difficult to house train. May want to consider before adopting one.", ">\n\nTouché.", ">\n\nThat's amazing, thank you for posting it!", ">\n\nIs there anywhere to buy a nice physical copy of the calendar?", ">\n\nThose cats are mind-controlled by taxoplasmosis alien ameobas!", ">\n\nI was thinking this was gonna be mountain lions taking out maintenance huts or something like that. This is so much better", ">\n\nI’m the daughter of a former Portland, Oregon, US Army Corps Engineer, and I can confirm they are a strange crew. It makes me view the dams on the Columbia River fondly?", ">\n\nI love this so much.", ">\n\nDude. Awesome.", ">\n\nI love this! My astronomy teacher once did a talk on space cats. It was hysterical. Out of the blue he showed us pictures of space with cats added in. He felt we needed a fun class for laughs. I want this calendar.", ">\n\nThis would be really cool if they got a decent digital artist. But they didn't, they used photoshop about as well as I can.", ">\n\nI think that adds to the charm", ">\n\nDon't even need to see it, where can I buy it", ">\n\nFrom the link - \"Because the Army Corps is a Government Agency, the calendar is in public domain and totally free to download and print\"", ">\n\nThis is so funny, because it’s my Dad’s old workplace (from 1971 until he retired). My father, however, has zero sense of humor so he’d never work on something like this.", ">\n\nI met a guy from the Army Corps of Engineers when I worked for the EPA. Smartest guy I've ever met and the 2nd most hippe like person I've ever met. I'd like to think he had something to do with this idea.", ">\n\nFinally the massive military budget of the US is put to good use.", ">\n\nThis is awesome. I might have to buy one.", ">\n\nNo need. It's free, though you have to print it yourself if you want a physical copy", ">\n\nThis is so adorable! I approve wholeheartedly.", ">\n\nIt's about time.", ">\n\nSappers lead the way", ">\n\nI have so much love for this.", ">\n\nEhisssayons.", ">\n\nLove it.", ">\n\nUnintended benefits of relaxed Marijuana policies :)", ">\n\nUsace has not relaxed cannabis policies. No federal agency has", ">\n\nThey certainly have relaxed policy, even though federal law hasn't changed. It's legal in my state and the current administration has announced they won't be pursuing user level Marijuana charges at the federal level.\nWake up.", ">\n\nUSACE still falls under the same policies as the rest of the army. They're treated as DA civilians, and subject to periodic biochemical testing and the resultant consequences if they pee hot. The army has, and will not in the foreseeable future, relax any policy regarding marijuana.", ">\n\nAdorable idea; wish they had hired someone better at photoshop", ">\n\nIts a free gag calendar that was probably just put together by someone for fun in their spare time. Considering the state of infrastructure in the US I don't imagine the Corps of Engineers has a lot of extra spending money to throw around", ">\n\nIf they were smart, they would print it for us and sell it. I don't want a crappy calender that I printed on regular paper, I want the real thing and I would be glad to pay for it.", ">\n\nGenius!! This needs to be a trend. Reddit, make it so...", ">\n\nfuck yeah we finally gonna balance the budget", ">\n\nDecember's hilarious. I want this calender.", ">\n\nYou can totally tell that this is not real. The lighting on the cats is so obviously different than the environmental mistake. Pathetic effort infrastructure geeks.", ">\n\nSo they can blame cats for shoddy workmanship and lax maintenance.", ">\n\nDon't capitalize \"Of\" in titles", ">\n\nWish they'd focus on not taking eight years to permit a fucking project, those lazy excuses for engineers.", ">\n\nYou’re crazy dude. These peeps have built some amazing things. Extremely impressive.", ">\n\nThey used to.", ">\n\n😂", ">\n\nThis whole absurd thing is exactly my sense of humour. LOVE it.", ">\n\nOregon! I've seen the one at Detroit Dam. Sneaky bugger. Hangs out with Bigfoot.", ">\n\nI need this", ">\n\nThat's some adorable terrorism right there.", ">\n\nI remember seeing them, on quad bikes, with a lot of equipment, on Myrtle Beach beaches, I always wondered what they were doing...", ">\n\nI love this sequel to Beginning of the End!", ">\n\nIs there a way I can buy a physical version?", ">\n\nThey're Demo-cats!", ">\n\nAny recommendations of the best way to get this printed semi-professionally? I tried checking Costco photo centre but they make you use a template.", ">\n\nOf course it’s Portland.", ">\n\nKind of disappointing I can't actually buy a printed one. My daughter would love this.", ">\n\nA pretty good idea for a poster. Who doesn't like cats being cats?", ">\n\nI really wish I had become a part of the ACOE but my mother didn't want her only son in the military.", ">\n\nUsace has civilian positions you're employed by the army, but you don't go through basic", ">\n\nI hope they pay more than Nidec.", ">\n\nThanks for sharing! Downloaded and got my new Lock Screen wallpaper.", ">\n\nDecember is 🔥", ">\n\nObligatory Cat Dynamics", ">\n\nPoliticians will say this is the proof of the REAL reason of why our infrastructure is deteriorating, then vote in a measure to hire their friends and family to counter this threat.", ">\n\nI didnt know cats were domestic terrorists like Republicans. lol", ">\n\nThis is the only kind of apocalypse I could see myself getting excited about.", ">\n\nAugust a missed opportunity to have CAT Excavators.", ">\n\nYou have my attention.", ">\n\nSmart move", ">\n\nGod help us.", ">\n\nBest thing to come out of the Army post WWII.", ">\n\n🤔", ">\n\n\"Let's write a two paragraph article about something freely available on the internet and make absolutely no attempt to actually tell you where to find it\".", ">\n\nCatjira!", ">\n\nhilarious!", ">\n\nFinally", ">\n\nThis is the oniony-est story I’ve seen on here in a while", ">\n\nCant wait for the next spending bill to include cat proofing our infrastructure", ">\n\nHonestly… I’d buy it.", ">\n\nWish I would have heard of that in November or so. This seems unique, fun and a great idea for a calendar.", ">\n\nI heard about this from Last Podcast on the Left, glad to see it pop up on my feed with pictures!", ">\n\nI'm gonna need an NSN For that...", ">\n\nOf course it’s the Portland District", ">\n\nHonestly this is worth buying", ">\n\nIm not a cat person, but I would buy the calendar.", ">\n\nAny way to view the album without losing my mind on that website? God it's shit on mobile.", ">\n\nI especially love how June just looks like a well framed optical illusion photo.", ">\n\nThis is cute and all, but man, it seems a little poor in taste that August is a kitty-shaped military drone blowing up an Iraqi preschool", ">\n\nWhat did Oregon do to deserve this", ">\n\nGee I read that and instantly I thought they had done a study and released an estimated calendar of when an where giant cats would attack infrastructure in 2023. Phew.", ">\n\nOn that day, humanity received a grim reminder…", ">\n\nah yes\nPortland keeping it weird again", ">\n\nit’s cute, but who wrote the copy?", ">\n\nAmazing", ">\n\neverything changed when the cat nation attacked", ">\n\nI'm into it", ">\n\nnow this is what I want my tax dollars going towards", ">\n\nI'd love to believe that there was some huge misunderstanding and somewhere someone had actually meant CATs like the company with the big heavy machinery", ">\n\nThe word \"attacking\" is doing a lot of work here", ">\n\nW", ">\n\nLook, I’m pretty anti-government, but this I can get behind", ">\n\nCattack on titan", ">\n\nI'm a civil engineer.\nI would fucking LOVE this.\nThis'll go good in my office next to my other engineering / math punny comics.\nLike this one.\nOr this one.\nOr, maybe this one.", ">\n\nThe Only well spent part of the military budget", ">\n\nI might buy it", ">\n\nWhat the fuck is that website", ">\n\nThis is great!", ">\n\nAugust is great.", ">\n\nNow the real MVP will tell us how to print this like an actual calendar.", ">\n\nThe only thing worthy of my tax dollars that the military has done this year.", ">\n\nOk, now we need a class II space laser pointer to distract the giant cats away from vital infrastructure.", ">\n\nThey all are so good. My favorite is May, then September.", ">\n\nOh... good.", ">\n\nThose paragraphs are hilarious.", ">\n\nNow THIS is news!", ">\n\nCatcatae", ">\n\nThey would, if they could.", ">\n\nOmg yes. Need." ]

[ "Imagine the work order. \nYour boss comes to you and says, \"Hey, you're in charge of the cats calendar.\"\n\"What calendar?\"\n\"The one with cats attacking infrastructure?\"\n\"What?\"", ">\n\nyou miss ONE day...", ">\n\nHail Vectron!", ">\n\nBy Vectron!", ">\n\nFor those yet to experience the holy might of Vectron's kindly claw", ">\n\nThank you. I had no idea.", ">\n\nYou are most welcome by Vectron", ">\n\nFor the love of all that is Vectron, your speech warms my Vectronic heart.", ">\n\nMay Vectron’s beard shed its benevolence upon us. 🙏🏻🙏🏻", ">\n\nAnd may all of his correspondence to us be sent Vectronically. So it is written, so shall it be done.", ">\n\nI live in Oregon and started to recognize a bunch of the dams, so I was like, “huh, that’s kinda cool.” Then I saw the text at the bottom of the first page. Portland District. Now a cat calendar makes perfect sense.", ">\n\nSame thing happened to me. I think I'm going to head to kinko's and have them print it out for me.", ">\n\nTell them you need to print some important official military documents before you show them what it is", ">\n\nDon’t forget to tell them you need it right meow!", ">\n\nWho will protect our infrastructure from this menace?", ">\n\nAn array of laser pointers.", ">\n\ncut to giant laser pointer satellite", ">\n\nomigod the jewish space lasers were real", ">\n\n*meowish space lasers", ">\n\nHey that's racist", ">\n\nI think it would be cheaper to buy a calendar than use the ink/toner required to print it.", ">\n\nThat's why you print it at work.", ">\n\nhaha true, oh wait I work from home...", ">\n\nIf you print from home for work you can write printer supplies off on your taxes :)", ">\n\nUh yes boss I needed a calendar, so… oh what? Use the company one? Ummm but the US army has a really nice one and I thought I’d be patriotic - what? Oh, yeah I know we’re in Canada, I just…", ">\n\nPortland is pretty much wannabe Vancouver, BC. I say it goes!", ">\n\nExactly what a Canadian would say...", ">\n\nGoodies, goodie goodie, yum yum.", ">\n\nI just scrolled until I found The Goodies reference but was wondering if I was going to find one at all.", ">\n\nIt's way down the list, isn't it? \n/knees hurt.", ">\n\nOw, my back! Get off my lawn!", ">\n\nOne engineer did it in his free time, and released it for use through the corps. \nThis was NOT government funded.", ">\n\nEven if it was government funded, I support this.", ">\n\nEven if it was government funded it would've been like maybe one day of pay at most? Not a ton for the amount of publicity they'll get that might make them even more money.", ">\n\nAssuming they already have the infrastructure pictures I would be surprised if it took more than 4 work hours. Also for chronically underfunded agencies that kind of PR is exactly how you get voters to convince the politicians to increase funds. I look forward to NASA figuring out how to photoshop giant cats playing with the planets like balls of yarn for their calendar", ">\n\n\nI look forward to NASA figuring out how to photoshop giant cats playing with the planets like balls of yarn for their calendar \n\nWell let me introduce you to the most bizarre social media messaging from an official U.S. government agency: The U.S. Consumer Product Safety Commission's Instagram feed. \nAnd before I catch any \"there's no way this is real\" replies, here's the Washington Post covering it: \n\nHow a federal bureaucrat uses astronaut babies and dogs riding pigeons to try to save your life", ">\n\nThis is rad!", ">\n\nCISA losing their shit rn", ">\n\nI would like one.", ">\n\nIt's a free PDF.", ">\n\nNo he would like one of the cats", ">\n\nyOu wOuLdN'T DoWnloAd a cAT", ">\n\nI can’t believe they included Sherlock getting knocked off a cliff. At least he didn’t jump this time.", ">\n\nI'm shocked that you're the only person I've seen comment on this so far! it's hilarious", ">\n\n\"Every year, dozens of cats attack important infrastructure for our country causing dozens of dollars of damage. Won't you help?\"", ">\n\nI heard this with Sarah McLoughlin's voice", ">\n\nArmy Cats", ">\n\nNow do it with pictures of our crumbling infrastructure.", ">\n\nThis seems like one of those things that is somehow going to age poorly given our Universe's current sense of irony. I don't know how exactly, but there's going to be some mass tragedy involving cats and a suspension bridge or something this year.", ">\n\nThe first image kind of reads like \"this infrastructure is super important so don't damage it\". The calendar almost seems like a shopping list for domestic terrorists or something lol.", ">\n\nI mean, pretty obvious that dams, substations, bridges and the like are good targets for chaos. Google maps gives you all this plus Police stations and everything, with photos and the address. Useless to worry about it", ">\n\nSeriously, anyone who unironicly think terrorists were waiting for a cat calendar to list a bunch of locations to bomb is paranoid about the wrong things.", ">\n\nCats would hunt and eat us if they were bigger than us", ">\n\nThey already do, they are called Tigers.", ">\n\nIf there were smaller tigers, we would keep them as pets, but they'd break all our stuff to prove they're still in charge.", ">\n\nThey already do, they are called Cats.", ">\n\nOH MY GOD!", ">\n\nMy tabby is a cute little tiger", ">\n\nI knew we had infrastructure challenges, but I didn't realize we were facing an infrastructure cat-astrophe!", ">\n\nTake my r/angryupvote", ">\n\nI love how shitty the photoshop is. Really ties it all together", ">\n\nYeah I like the idea--but the pictures chosen and color grading are all off. I'd like this idea better executed more professionally.", ">\n\nOh no I'm serious. The unprofessionalism is the best part. I would absolutely pay money for this", ">\n\nOnly only thing weirder is gonna be their crazy ass plan to save the infrastructure.", ">\n\nIt's the engineer Corp, they can build giant cat carriers.", ">\n\nI guess anything beats the 40 million they spend on viagra to keep the soldiers saluting.", ">\n\nThis is delightful", ">\n\ni was imagining mountain lions breaking in to dumpsters or something, not giant house cats gnawing on substations, not disappointed.", ">\n\nI don’t need a calendar now that our pocket rectangles handle all of that for us, but I really want this calendar.", ">\n\nIt is really convenient to just walk by my schedule versus having to pull it up, scroll, click and expand. I tend to forget about things if I don’t see it in front of me, but that’s just how my brain works. Plus if you’re on the phone trying to schedule something it’s nice to write it out too.", ">\n\nI'm sorry, we're already booked for giant spiders.", ">\n\nI personally kinda love this.", ">\n\nBest use of a miniscule amount of our tax dollars in the entire US $1.7T budget. US Army Corp wins the internet today!", ">\n\nHonestly, the entire army corps of engineers may be one of highest rates of return on public good vs funding", ">\n\nSeriously. They do a shit ton of quality and important public work on a relatively shoe-string budget for engineering. I have a lot of respect for the people that work at the USACOE.", ">\n\nSeptember, now that one is art", ">\n\nHaters will say it's Photoshop.", ">\n\nThey’ve never seen Catzilla.", ">\n\nHero of the Week! Hail yourself!", ">\n\nThere it is!", ">\n\n\nThe Army Corps Of Engineers Has Released a 2023 Calendar Of Giant Cats Attacking <\n\nr/brand new sentence \nAlso, giant cats attacking infrastructure is so 2020. In 2023 it just sounds silly.", ">\n\nSeptember ❤️", ">\n\nOmg. I love this. Especially the text blurbs on the pictures. Very funny and adorable!", ">\n\nSounds like they understand cats are required if you want social media traction", ">\n\nI have never wanted to buy a calendar more than I do now!", ">\n\nOn the one hand, I applaud the idea.\nOn the other hand, the photoshop skills look like they came from the army corps of engineers.", ">\n\nWould you actually want them to look like they were perfectly matched to each environment? I'm pretty sure the comedic effect is all that matters here.\nAnd besides, it was just one engineer that created this on their spare time, rather than an official ACE production.", ">\n\nI was mainly being a bit snarky because the internet. That, and what I said was objectively true.", ">\n\nCan confirm, the Corps of Engineers fuckkkkks", ">\n\nGoddammit I just bought my 2023 calendar too lol", ">\n\nThat’s cute though, not worrisome like a lot of other r/nottheonion posts.", ">\n\nAs ever, the Army Corps of Engineers are the one branch of the US state that can get the important shit done", ">\n\nFrom the comments ITT it's evident that most people are unaware of how important they are to the lives of the majority of productive people in this country (people who live near a coastline or a major body of water). It's not just dams and rivers, it's the actual physical coastline of america that they look after.", ">\n\nYup, it seems double edged- people think oh, they're the army corps and assumes they must be doing only military stuff. But equally if it was civilianised no doubt it'd be a target for cuts. An incredible org, regardless. And whether it's cats or weather or warming or the collapse of neglected infrastructure they're going to get more and more important so it's a damn good thing they exist because in 2023, nobody would invent them...", ">\n\nUSACE is an agency that is funded by the DOD but is vastly ran by civilians. There are very few enlisted or commissioned people in the army corps.", ">\n\nOK this is a thing and this is awesome", ">\n\nOops, I had \"Zombie Redneck Torture Family\" in the betting pool.", ">\n\nGrumble. Never gonna see a merman...", ">\n\nUSACE Portland District is one of the absolute best public sector social media presences out there. Seriously. Check it out.", ">\n\nCats in military pictures is an entire IG channel", ">\n\nGood boot", ">\n\nCommand team must be TDY", ">\n\nThat was even better than the title made me think it would be.", ">\n\nI support my tax dollars going to causes such as this.", ">\n\nFinally tax dollars doing something good", ">\n\nI’m kind of disappointed. From the title, I thought there would be photos of actual big cats attacking infrastructure, not photoshopped domestic cats. Anyone have a photo of a puma going after an electrical substation? Or a tiger gnawing on a water line?", ">\n\nNo. No one has that. Would be very interesting though to compile a calendar like that. Peace brother.", ">\n\nGreat, now I need a color printer.\nSeriously, thank you u/radioman8414!", ">\n\nThis is how I want my tax money spent. Downloaded and put up in my office!", ">\n\nThe regional social media guy who put this together is constantly hilarious", ">\n\nGreatest calendar of 2023.", ">\n\nI need one of these for my office! I've worked on some of these dams!", ">\n\nCan I ask you some dam questions?? I’m sure you know a lot of dam information. I’m sure all of us would love some dam stories. Thank you.", ">\n\nSure way to have a more interesting calendar than just infrastructure.", ">\n\nI would so adopt one if they existed.", ">\n\nI've heard army corps of engineers are very difficult to house train. May want to consider before adopting one.", ">\n\nTouché.", ">\n\nThat's amazing, thank you for posting it!", ">\n\nIs there anywhere to buy a nice physical copy of the calendar?", ">\n\nThose cats are mind-controlled by taxoplasmosis alien ameobas!", ">\n\nI was thinking this was gonna be mountain lions taking out maintenance huts or something like that. This is so much better", ">\n\nI’m the daughter of a former Portland, Oregon, US Army Corps Engineer, and I can confirm they are a strange crew. It makes me view the dams on the Columbia River fondly?", ">\n\nI love this so much.", ">\n\nDude. Awesome.", ">\n\nI love this! My astronomy teacher once did a talk on space cats. It was hysterical. Out of the blue he showed us pictures of space with cats added in. He felt we needed a fun class for laughs. I want this calendar.", ">\n\nThis would be really cool if they got a decent digital artist. But they didn't, they used photoshop about as well as I can.", ">\n\nI think that adds to the charm", ">\n\nDon't even need to see it, where can I buy it", ">\n\nFrom the link - \"Because the Army Corps is a Government Agency, the calendar is in public domain and totally free to download and print\"", ">\n\nThis is so funny, because it’s my Dad’s old workplace (from 1971 until he retired). My father, however, has zero sense of humor so he’d never work on something like this.", ">\n\nI met a guy from the Army Corps of Engineers when I worked for the EPA. Smartest guy I've ever met and the 2nd most hippe like person I've ever met. I'd like to think he had something to do with this idea.", ">\n\nFinally the massive military budget of the US is put to good use.", ">\n\nThis is awesome. I might have to buy one.", ">\n\nNo need. It's free, though you have to print it yourself if you want a physical copy", ">\n\nThis is so adorable! I approve wholeheartedly.", ">\n\nIt's about time.", ">\n\nSappers lead the way", ">\n\nI have so much love for this.", ">\n\nEhisssayons.", ">\n\nLove it.", ">\n\nUnintended benefits of relaxed Marijuana policies :)", ">\n\nUsace has not relaxed cannabis policies. No federal agency has", ">\n\nThey certainly have relaxed policy, even though federal law hasn't changed. It's legal in my state and the current administration has announced they won't be pursuing user level Marijuana charges at the federal level.\nWake up.", ">\n\nUSACE still falls under the same policies as the rest of the army. They're treated as DA civilians, and subject to periodic biochemical testing and the resultant consequences if they pee hot. The army has, and will not in the foreseeable future, relax any policy regarding marijuana.", ">\n\nAdorable idea; wish they had hired someone better at photoshop", ">\n\nIts a free gag calendar that was probably just put together by someone for fun in their spare time. Considering the state of infrastructure in the US I don't imagine the Corps of Engineers has a lot of extra spending money to throw around", ">\n\nIf they were smart, they would print it for us and sell it. I don't want a crappy calender that I printed on regular paper, I want the real thing and I would be glad to pay for it.", ">\n\nGenius!! This needs to be a trend. Reddit, make it so...", ">\n\nfuck yeah we finally gonna balance the budget", ">\n\nDecember's hilarious. I want this calender.", ">\n\nYou can totally tell that this is not real. The lighting on the cats is so obviously different than the environmental mistake. Pathetic effort infrastructure geeks.", ">\n\nSo they can blame cats for shoddy workmanship and lax maintenance.", ">\n\nDon't capitalize \"Of\" in titles", ">\n\nWish they'd focus on not taking eight years to permit a fucking project, those lazy excuses for engineers.", ">\n\nYou’re crazy dude. These peeps have built some amazing things. Extremely impressive.", ">\n\nThey used to.", ">\n\n😂", ">\n\nThis whole absurd thing is exactly my sense of humour. LOVE it.", ">\n\nOregon! I've seen the one at Detroit Dam. Sneaky bugger. Hangs out with Bigfoot.", ">\n\nI need this", ">\n\nThat's some adorable terrorism right there.", ">\n\nI remember seeing them, on quad bikes, with a lot of equipment, on Myrtle Beach beaches, I always wondered what they were doing...", ">\n\nI love this sequel to Beginning of the End!", ">\n\nIs there a way I can buy a physical version?", ">\n\nThey're Demo-cats!", ">\n\nAny recommendations of the best way to get this printed semi-professionally? I tried checking Costco photo centre but they make you use a template.", ">\n\nOf course it’s Portland.", ">\n\nKind of disappointing I can't actually buy a printed one. My daughter would love this.", ">\n\nA pretty good idea for a poster. Who doesn't like cats being cats?", ">\n\nI really wish I had become a part of the ACOE but my mother didn't want her only son in the military.", ">\n\nUsace has civilian positions you're employed by the army, but you don't go through basic", ">\n\nI hope they pay more than Nidec.", ">\n\nThanks for sharing! Downloaded and got my new Lock Screen wallpaper.", ">\n\nDecember is 🔥", ">\n\nObligatory Cat Dynamics", ">\n\nPoliticians will say this is the proof of the REAL reason of why our infrastructure is deteriorating, then vote in a measure to hire their friends and family to counter this threat.", ">\n\nI didnt know cats were domestic terrorists like Republicans. lol", ">\n\nThis is the only kind of apocalypse I could see myself getting excited about.", ">\n\nAugust a missed opportunity to have CAT Excavators.", ">\n\nYou have my attention.", ">\n\nSmart move", ">\n\nGod help us.", ">\n\nBest thing to come out of the Army post WWII.", ">\n\n🤔", ">\n\n\"Let's write a two paragraph article about something freely available on the internet and make absolutely no attempt to actually tell you where to find it\".", ">\n\nCatjira!", ">\n\nhilarious!", ">\n\nFinally", ">\n\nThis is the oniony-est story I’ve seen on here in a while", ">\n\nCant wait for the next spending bill to include cat proofing our infrastructure", ">\n\nHonestly… I’d buy it.", ">\n\nWish I would have heard of that in November or so. This seems unique, fun and a great idea for a calendar.", ">\n\nI heard about this from Last Podcast on the Left, glad to see it pop up on my feed with pictures!", ">\n\nI'm gonna need an NSN For that...", ">\n\nOf course it’s the Portland District", ">\n\nHonestly this is worth buying", ">\n\nIm not a cat person, but I would buy the calendar.", ">\n\nAny way to view the album without losing my mind on that website? God it's shit on mobile.", ">\n\nI especially love how June just looks like a well framed optical illusion photo.", ">\n\nThis is cute and all, but man, it seems a little poor in taste that August is a kitty-shaped military drone blowing up an Iraqi preschool", ">\n\nWhat did Oregon do to deserve this", ">\n\nGee I read that and instantly I thought they had done a study and released an estimated calendar of when an where giant cats would attack infrastructure in 2023. Phew.", ">\n\nOn that day, humanity received a grim reminder…", ">\n\nah yes\nPortland keeping it weird again", ">\n\nit’s cute, but who wrote the copy?", ">\n\nAmazing", ">\n\neverything changed when the cat nation attacked", ">\n\nI'm into it", ">\n\nnow this is what I want my tax dollars going towards", ">\n\nI'd love to believe that there was some huge misunderstanding and somewhere someone had actually meant CATs like the company with the big heavy machinery", ">\n\nThe word \"attacking\" is doing a lot of work here", ">\n\nW", ">\n\nLook, I’m pretty anti-government, but this I can get behind", ">\n\nCattack on titan", ">\n\nI'm a civil engineer.\nI would fucking LOVE this.\nThis'll go good in my office next to my other engineering / math punny comics.\nLike this one.\nOr this one.\nOr, maybe this one.", ">\n\nThe Only well spent part of the military budget", ">\n\nI might buy it", ">\n\nWhat the fuck is that website", ">\n\nThis is great!", ">\n\nAugust is great.", ">\n\nNow the real MVP will tell us how to print this like an actual calendar.", ">\n\nThe only thing worthy of my tax dollars that the military has done this year.", ">\n\nOk, now we need a class II space laser pointer to distract the giant cats away from vital infrastructure.", ">\n\nThey all are so good. My favorite is May, then September.", ">\n\nOh... good.", ">\n\nThose paragraphs are hilarious.", ">\n\nNow THIS is news!", ">\n\nCatcatae", ">\n\nThey would, if they could.", ">\n\nOmg yes. Need.", ">\n\n\"attacking\" lol" ]

[ "Imagine the work order. \nYour boss comes to you and says, \"Hey, you're in charge of the cats calendar.\"\n\"What calendar?\"\n\"The one with cats attacking infrastructure?\"\n\"What?\"", ">\n\nyou miss ONE day...", ">\n\nHail Vectron!", ">\n\nBy Vectron!", ">\n\nFor those yet to experience the holy might of Vectron's kindly claw", ">\n\nThank you. I had no idea.", ">\n\nYou are most welcome by Vectron", ">\n\nFor the love of all that is Vectron, your speech warms my Vectronic heart.", ">\n\nMay Vectron’s beard shed its benevolence upon us. 🙏🏻🙏🏻", ">\n\nAnd may all of his correspondence to us be sent Vectronically. So it is written, so shall it be done.", ">\n\nI live in Oregon and started to recognize a bunch of the dams, so I was like, “huh, that’s kinda cool.” Then I saw the text at the bottom of the first page. Portland District. Now a cat calendar makes perfect sense.", ">\n\nSame thing happened to me. I think I'm going to head to kinko's and have them print it out for me.", ">\n\nTell them you need to print some important official military documents before you show them what it is", ">\n\nDon’t forget to tell them you need it right meow!", ">\n\nWho will protect our infrastructure from this menace?", ">\n\nAn array of laser pointers.", ">\n\ncut to giant laser pointer satellite", ">\n\nomigod the jewish space lasers were real", ">\n\n*meowish space lasers", ">\n\nHey that's racist", ">\n\nI think it would be cheaper to buy a calendar than use the ink/toner required to print it.", ">\n\nThat's why you print it at work.", ">\n\nhaha true, oh wait I work from home...", ">\n\nIf you print from home for work you can write printer supplies off on your taxes :)", ">\n\nUh yes boss I needed a calendar, so… oh what? Use the company one? Ummm but the US army has a really nice one and I thought I’d be patriotic - what? Oh, yeah I know we’re in Canada, I just…", ">\n\nPortland is pretty much wannabe Vancouver, BC. I say it goes!", ">\n\nExactly what a Canadian would say...", ">\n\nGoodies, goodie goodie, yum yum.", ">\n\nI just scrolled until I found The Goodies reference but was wondering if I was going to find one at all.", ">\n\nIt's way down the list, isn't it? \n/knees hurt.", ">\n\nOw, my back! Get off my lawn!", ">\n\nOne engineer did it in his free time, and released it for use through the corps. \nThis was NOT government funded.", ">\n\nEven if it was government funded, I support this.", ">\n\nEven if it was government funded it would've been like maybe one day of pay at most? Not a ton for the amount of publicity they'll get that might make them even more money.", ">\n\nAssuming they already have the infrastructure pictures I would be surprised if it took more than 4 work hours. Also for chronically underfunded agencies that kind of PR is exactly how you get voters to convince the politicians to increase funds. I look forward to NASA figuring out how to photoshop giant cats playing with the planets like balls of yarn for their calendar", ">\n\n\nI look forward to NASA figuring out how to photoshop giant cats playing with the planets like balls of yarn for their calendar \n\nWell let me introduce you to the most bizarre social media messaging from an official U.S. government agency: The U.S. Consumer Product Safety Commission's Instagram feed. \nAnd before I catch any \"there's no way this is real\" replies, here's the Washington Post covering it: \n\nHow a federal bureaucrat uses astronaut babies and dogs riding pigeons to try to save your life", ">\n\nThis is rad!", ">\n\nCISA losing their shit rn", ">\n\nI would like one.", ">\n\nIt's a free PDF.", ">\n\nNo he would like one of the cats", ">\n\nyOu wOuLdN'T DoWnloAd a cAT", ">\n\nI can’t believe they included Sherlock getting knocked off a cliff. At least he didn’t jump this time.", ">\n\nI'm shocked that you're the only person I've seen comment on this so far! it's hilarious", ">\n\n\"Every year, dozens of cats attack important infrastructure for our country causing dozens of dollars of damage. Won't you help?\"", ">\n\nI heard this with Sarah McLoughlin's voice", ">\n\nArmy Cats", ">\n\nNow do it with pictures of our crumbling infrastructure.", ">\n\nThis seems like one of those things that is somehow going to age poorly given our Universe's current sense of irony. I don't know how exactly, but there's going to be some mass tragedy involving cats and a suspension bridge or something this year.", ">\n\nThe first image kind of reads like \"this infrastructure is super important so don't damage it\". The calendar almost seems like a shopping list for domestic terrorists or something lol.", ">\n\nI mean, pretty obvious that dams, substations, bridges and the like are good targets for chaos. Google maps gives you all this plus Police stations and everything, with photos and the address. Useless to worry about it", ">\n\nSeriously, anyone who unironicly think terrorists were waiting for a cat calendar to list a bunch of locations to bomb is paranoid about the wrong things.", ">\n\nCats would hunt and eat us if they were bigger than us", ">\n\nThey already do, they are called Tigers.", ">\n\nIf there were smaller tigers, we would keep them as pets, but they'd break all our stuff to prove they're still in charge.", ">\n\nThey already do, they are called Cats.", ">\n\nOH MY GOD!", ">\n\nMy tabby is a cute little tiger", ">\n\nI knew we had infrastructure challenges, but I didn't realize we were facing an infrastructure cat-astrophe!", ">\n\nTake my r/angryupvote", ">\n\nI love how shitty the photoshop is. Really ties it all together", ">\n\nYeah I like the idea--but the pictures chosen and color grading are all off. I'd like this idea better executed more professionally.", ">\n\nOh no I'm serious. The unprofessionalism is the best part. I would absolutely pay money for this", ">\n\nOnly only thing weirder is gonna be their crazy ass plan to save the infrastructure.", ">\n\nIt's the engineer Corp, they can build giant cat carriers.", ">\n\nI guess anything beats the 40 million they spend on viagra to keep the soldiers saluting.", ">\n\nThis is delightful", ">\n\ni was imagining mountain lions breaking in to dumpsters or something, not giant house cats gnawing on substations, not disappointed.", ">\n\nI don’t need a calendar now that our pocket rectangles handle all of that for us, but I really want this calendar.", ">\n\nIt is really convenient to just walk by my schedule versus having to pull it up, scroll, click and expand. I tend to forget about things if I don’t see it in front of me, but that’s just how my brain works. Plus if you’re on the phone trying to schedule something it’s nice to write it out too.", ">\n\nI'm sorry, we're already booked for giant spiders.", ">\n\nI personally kinda love this.", ">\n\nBest use of a miniscule amount of our tax dollars in the entire US $1.7T budget. US Army Corp wins the internet today!", ">\n\nHonestly, the entire army corps of engineers may be one of highest rates of return on public good vs funding", ">\n\nSeriously. They do a shit ton of quality and important public work on a relatively shoe-string budget for engineering. I have a lot of respect for the people that work at the USACOE.", ">\n\nSeptember, now that one is art", ">\n\nHaters will say it's Photoshop.", ">\n\nThey’ve never seen Catzilla.", ">\n\nHero of the Week! Hail yourself!", ">\n\nThere it is!", ">\n\n\nThe Army Corps Of Engineers Has Released a 2023 Calendar Of Giant Cats Attacking <\n\nr/brand new sentence \nAlso, giant cats attacking infrastructure is so 2020. In 2023 it just sounds silly.", ">\n\nSeptember ❤️", ">\n\nOmg. I love this. Especially the text blurbs on the pictures. Very funny and adorable!", ">\n\nSounds like they understand cats are required if you want social media traction", ">\n\nI have never wanted to buy a calendar more than I do now!", ">\n\nOn the one hand, I applaud the idea.\nOn the other hand, the photoshop skills look like they came from the army corps of engineers.", ">\n\nWould you actually want them to look like they were perfectly matched to each environment? I'm pretty sure the comedic effect is all that matters here.\nAnd besides, it was just one engineer that created this on their spare time, rather than an official ACE production.", ">\n\nI was mainly being a bit snarky because the internet. That, and what I said was objectively true.", ">\n\nCan confirm, the Corps of Engineers fuckkkkks", ">\n\nGoddammit I just bought my 2023 calendar too lol", ">\n\nThat’s cute though, not worrisome like a lot of other r/nottheonion posts.", ">\n\nAs ever, the Army Corps of Engineers are the one branch of the US state that can get the important shit done", ">\n\nFrom the comments ITT it's evident that most people are unaware of how important they are to the lives of the majority of productive people in this country (people who live near a coastline or a major body of water). It's not just dams and rivers, it's the actual physical coastline of america that they look after.", ">\n\nYup, it seems double edged- people think oh, they're the army corps and assumes they must be doing only military stuff. But equally if it was civilianised no doubt it'd be a target for cuts. An incredible org, regardless. And whether it's cats or weather or warming or the collapse of neglected infrastructure they're going to get more and more important so it's a damn good thing they exist because in 2023, nobody would invent them...", ">\n\nUSACE is an agency that is funded by the DOD but is vastly ran by civilians. There are very few enlisted or commissioned people in the army corps.", ">\n\nOK this is a thing and this is awesome", ">\n\nOops, I had \"Zombie Redneck Torture Family\" in the betting pool.", ">\n\nGrumble. Never gonna see a merman...", ">\n\nUSACE Portland District is one of the absolute best public sector social media presences out there. Seriously. Check it out.", ">\n\nCats in military pictures is an entire IG channel", ">\n\nGood boot", ">\n\nCommand team must be TDY", ">\n\nThat was even better than the title made me think it would be.", ">\n\nI support my tax dollars going to causes such as this.", ">\n\nFinally tax dollars doing something good", ">\n\nI’m kind of disappointed. From the title, I thought there would be photos of actual big cats attacking infrastructure, not photoshopped domestic cats. Anyone have a photo of a puma going after an electrical substation? Or a tiger gnawing on a water line?", ">\n\nNo. No one has that. Would be very interesting though to compile a calendar like that. Peace brother.", ">\n\nGreat, now I need a color printer.\nSeriously, thank you u/radioman8414!", ">\n\nThis is how I want my tax money spent. Downloaded and put up in my office!", ">\n\nThe regional social media guy who put this together is constantly hilarious", ">\n\nGreatest calendar of 2023.", ">\n\nI need one of these for my office! I've worked on some of these dams!", ">\n\nCan I ask you some dam questions?? I’m sure you know a lot of dam information. I’m sure all of us would love some dam stories. Thank you.", ">\n\nSure way to have a more interesting calendar than just infrastructure.", ">\n\nI would so adopt one if they existed.", ">\n\nI've heard army corps of engineers are very difficult to house train. May want to consider before adopting one.", ">\n\nTouché.", ">\n\nThat's amazing, thank you for posting it!", ">\n\nIs there anywhere to buy a nice physical copy of the calendar?", ">\n\nThose cats are mind-controlled by taxoplasmosis alien ameobas!", ">\n\nI was thinking this was gonna be mountain lions taking out maintenance huts or something like that. This is so much better", ">\n\nI’m the daughter of a former Portland, Oregon, US Army Corps Engineer, and I can confirm they are a strange crew. It makes me view the dams on the Columbia River fondly?", ">\n\nI love this so much.", ">\n\nDude. Awesome.", ">\n\nI love this! My astronomy teacher once did a talk on space cats. It was hysterical. Out of the blue he showed us pictures of space with cats added in. He felt we needed a fun class for laughs. I want this calendar.", ">\n\nThis would be really cool if they got a decent digital artist. But they didn't, they used photoshop about as well as I can.", ">\n\nI think that adds to the charm", ">\n\nDon't even need to see it, where can I buy it", ">\n\nFrom the link - \"Because the Army Corps is a Government Agency, the calendar is in public domain and totally free to download and print\"", ">\n\nThis is so funny, because it’s my Dad’s old workplace (from 1971 until he retired). My father, however, has zero sense of humor so he’d never work on something like this.", ">\n\nI met a guy from the Army Corps of Engineers when I worked for the EPA. Smartest guy I've ever met and the 2nd most hippe like person I've ever met. I'd like to think he had something to do with this idea.", ">\n\nFinally the massive military budget of the US is put to good use.", ">\n\nThis is awesome. I might have to buy one.", ">\n\nNo need. It's free, though you have to print it yourself if you want a physical copy", ">\n\nThis is so adorable! I approve wholeheartedly.", ">\n\nIt's about time.", ">\n\nSappers lead the way", ">\n\nI have so much love for this.", ">\n\nEhisssayons.", ">\n\nLove it.", ">\n\nUnintended benefits of relaxed Marijuana policies :)", ">\n\nUsace has not relaxed cannabis policies. No federal agency has", ">\n\nThey certainly have relaxed policy, even though federal law hasn't changed. It's legal in my state and the current administration has announced they won't be pursuing user level Marijuana charges at the federal level.\nWake up.", ">\n\nUSACE still falls under the same policies as the rest of the army. They're treated as DA civilians, and subject to periodic biochemical testing and the resultant consequences if they pee hot. The army has, and will not in the foreseeable future, relax any policy regarding marijuana.", ">\n\nAdorable idea; wish they had hired someone better at photoshop", ">\n\nIts a free gag calendar that was probably just put together by someone for fun in their spare time. Considering the state of infrastructure in the US I don't imagine the Corps of Engineers has a lot of extra spending money to throw around", ">\n\nIf they were smart, they would print it for us and sell it. I don't want a crappy calender that I printed on regular paper, I want the real thing and I would be glad to pay for it.", ">\n\nGenius!! This needs to be a trend. Reddit, make it so...", ">\n\nfuck yeah we finally gonna balance the budget", ">\n\nDecember's hilarious. I want this calender.", ">\n\nYou can totally tell that this is not real. The lighting on the cats is so obviously different than the environmental mistake. Pathetic effort infrastructure geeks.", ">\n\nSo they can blame cats for shoddy workmanship and lax maintenance.", ">\n\nDon't capitalize \"Of\" in titles", ">\n\nWish they'd focus on not taking eight years to permit a fucking project, those lazy excuses for engineers.", ">\n\nYou’re crazy dude. These peeps have built some amazing things. Extremely impressive.", ">\n\nThey used to.", ">\n\n😂", ">\n\nThis whole absurd thing is exactly my sense of humour. LOVE it.", ">\n\nOregon! I've seen the one at Detroit Dam. Sneaky bugger. Hangs out with Bigfoot.", ">\n\nI need this", ">\n\nThat's some adorable terrorism right there.", ">\n\nI remember seeing them, on quad bikes, with a lot of equipment, on Myrtle Beach beaches, I always wondered what they were doing...", ">\n\nI love this sequel to Beginning of the End!", ">\n\nIs there a way I can buy a physical version?", ">\n\nThey're Demo-cats!", ">\n\nAny recommendations of the best way to get this printed semi-professionally? I tried checking Costco photo centre but they make you use a template.", ">\n\nOf course it’s Portland.", ">\n\nKind of disappointing I can't actually buy a printed one. My daughter would love this.", ">\n\nA pretty good idea for a poster. Who doesn't like cats being cats?", ">\n\nI really wish I had become a part of the ACOE but my mother didn't want her only son in the military.", ">\n\nUsace has civilian positions you're employed by the army, but you don't go through basic", ">\n\nI hope they pay more than Nidec.", ">\n\nThanks for sharing! Downloaded and got my new Lock Screen wallpaper.", ">\n\nDecember is 🔥", ">\n\nObligatory Cat Dynamics", ">\n\nPoliticians will say this is the proof of the REAL reason of why our infrastructure is deteriorating, then vote in a measure to hire their friends and family to counter this threat.", ">\n\nI didnt know cats were domestic terrorists like Republicans. lol", ">\n\nThis is the only kind of apocalypse I could see myself getting excited about.", ">\n\nAugust a missed opportunity to have CAT Excavators.", ">\n\nYou have my attention.", ">\n\nSmart move", ">\n\nGod help us.", ">\n\nBest thing to come out of the Army post WWII.", ">\n\n🤔", ">\n\n\"Let's write a two paragraph article about something freely available on the internet and make absolutely no attempt to actually tell you where to find it\".", ">\n\nCatjira!", ">\n\nhilarious!", ">\n\nFinally", ">\n\nThis is the oniony-est story I’ve seen on here in a while", ">\n\nCant wait for the next spending bill to include cat proofing our infrastructure", ">\n\nHonestly… I’d buy it.", ">\n\nWish I would have heard of that in November or so. This seems unique, fun and a great idea for a calendar.", ">\n\nI heard about this from Last Podcast on the Left, glad to see it pop up on my feed with pictures!", ">\n\nI'm gonna need an NSN For that...", ">\n\nOf course it’s the Portland District", ">\n\nHonestly this is worth buying", ">\n\nIm not a cat person, but I would buy the calendar.", ">\n\nAny way to view the album without losing my mind on that website? God it's shit on mobile.", ">\n\nI especially love how June just looks like a well framed optical illusion photo.", ">\n\nThis is cute and all, but man, it seems a little poor in taste that August is a kitty-shaped military drone blowing up an Iraqi preschool", ">\n\nWhat did Oregon do to deserve this", ">\n\nGee I read that and instantly I thought they had done a study and released an estimated calendar of when an where giant cats would attack infrastructure in 2023. Phew.", ">\n\nOn that day, humanity received a grim reminder…", ">\n\nah yes\nPortland keeping it weird again", ">\n\nit’s cute, but who wrote the copy?", ">\n\nAmazing", ">\n\neverything changed when the cat nation attacked", ">\n\nI'm into it", ">\n\nnow this is what I want my tax dollars going towards", ">\n\nI'd love to believe that there was some huge misunderstanding and somewhere someone had actually meant CATs like the company with the big heavy machinery", ">\n\nThe word \"attacking\" is doing a lot of work here", ">\n\nW", ">\n\nLook, I’m pretty anti-government, but this I can get behind", ">\n\nCattack on titan", ">\n\nI'm a civil engineer.\nI would fucking LOVE this.\nThis'll go good in my office next to my other engineering / math punny comics.\nLike this one.\nOr this one.\nOr, maybe this one.", ">\n\nThe Only well spent part of the military budget", ">\n\nI might buy it", ">\n\nWhat the fuck is that website", ">\n\nThis is great!", ">\n\nAugust is great.", ">\n\nNow the real MVP will tell us how to print this like an actual calendar.", ">\n\nThe only thing worthy of my tax dollars that the military has done this year.", ">\n\nOk, now we need a class II space laser pointer to distract the giant cats away from vital infrastructure.", ">\n\nThey all are so good. My favorite is May, then September.", ">\n\nOh... good.", ">\n\nThose paragraphs are hilarious.", ">\n\nNow THIS is news!", ">\n\nCatcatae", ">\n\nThey would, if they could.", ">\n\nOmg yes. Need.", ">\n\n\"attacking\" lol", ">\n\nThere’s a great Twitter user called Giant Military Cats or something like that where the user does much the same. \nSeems like a kind, lonely soul who revels in people thanking them. Give it a look" ]

[ "Imagine the work order. \nYour boss comes to you and says, \"Hey, you're in charge of the cats calendar.\"\n\"What calendar?\"\n\"The one with cats attacking infrastructure?\"\n\"What?\"", ">\n\nyou miss ONE day...", ">\n\nHail Vectron!", ">\n\nBy Vectron!", ">\n\nFor those yet to experience the holy might of Vectron's kindly claw", ">\n\nThank you. I had no idea.", ">\n\nYou are most welcome by Vectron", ">\n\nFor the love of all that is Vectron, your speech warms my Vectronic heart.", ">\n\nMay Vectron’s beard shed its benevolence upon us. 🙏🏻🙏🏻", ">\n\nAnd may all of his correspondence to us be sent Vectronically. So it is written, so shall it be done.", ">\n\nI live in Oregon and started to recognize a bunch of the dams, so I was like, “huh, that’s kinda cool.” Then I saw the text at the bottom of the first page. Portland District. Now a cat calendar makes perfect sense.", ">\n\nSame thing happened to me. I think I'm going to head to kinko's and have them print it out for me.", ">\n\nTell them you need to print some important official military documents before you show them what it is", ">\n\nDon’t forget to tell them you need it right meow!", ">\n\nWho will protect our infrastructure from this menace?", ">\n\nAn array of laser pointers.", ">\n\ncut to giant laser pointer satellite", ">\n\nomigod the jewish space lasers were real", ">\n\n*meowish space lasers", ">\n\nHey that's racist", ">\n\nI think it would be cheaper to buy a calendar than use the ink/toner required to print it.", ">\n\nThat's why you print it at work.", ">\n\nhaha true, oh wait I work from home...", ">\n\nIf you print from home for work you can write printer supplies off on your taxes :)", ">\n\nUh yes boss I needed a calendar, so… oh what? Use the company one? Ummm but the US army has a really nice one and I thought I’d be patriotic - what? Oh, yeah I know we’re in Canada, I just…", ">\n\nPortland is pretty much wannabe Vancouver, BC. I say it goes!", ">\n\nExactly what a Canadian would say...", ">\n\nGoodies, goodie goodie, yum yum.", ">\n\nI just scrolled until I found The Goodies reference but was wondering if I was going to find one at all.", ">\n\nIt's way down the list, isn't it? \n/knees hurt.", ">\n\nOw, my back! Get off my lawn!", ">\n\nOne engineer did it in his free time, and released it for use through the corps. \nThis was NOT government funded.", ">\n\nEven if it was government funded, I support this.", ">\n\nEven if it was government funded it would've been like maybe one day of pay at most? Not a ton for the amount of publicity they'll get that might make them even more money.", ">\n\nAssuming they already have the infrastructure pictures I would be surprised if it took more than 4 work hours. Also for chronically underfunded agencies that kind of PR is exactly how you get voters to convince the politicians to increase funds. I look forward to NASA figuring out how to photoshop giant cats playing with the planets like balls of yarn for their calendar", ">\n\n\nI look forward to NASA figuring out how to photoshop giant cats playing with the planets like balls of yarn for their calendar \n\nWell let me introduce you to the most bizarre social media messaging from an official U.S. government agency: The U.S. Consumer Product Safety Commission's Instagram feed. \nAnd before I catch any \"there's no way this is real\" replies, here's the Washington Post covering it: \n\nHow a federal bureaucrat uses astronaut babies and dogs riding pigeons to try to save your life", ">\n\nThis is rad!", ">\n\nCISA losing their shit rn", ">\n\nI would like one.", ">\n\nIt's a free PDF.", ">\n\nNo he would like one of the cats", ">\n\nyOu wOuLdN'T DoWnloAd a cAT", ">\n\nI can’t believe they included Sherlock getting knocked off a cliff. At least he didn’t jump this time.", ">\n\nI'm shocked that you're the only person I've seen comment on this so far! it's hilarious", ">\n\n\"Every year, dozens of cats attack important infrastructure for our country causing dozens of dollars of damage. Won't you help?\"", ">\n\nI heard this with Sarah McLoughlin's voice", ">\n\nArmy Cats", ">\n\nNow do it with pictures of our crumbling infrastructure.", ">\n\nThis seems like one of those things that is somehow going to age poorly given our Universe's current sense of irony. I don't know how exactly, but there's going to be some mass tragedy involving cats and a suspension bridge or something this year.", ">\n\nThe first image kind of reads like \"this infrastructure is super important so don't damage it\". The calendar almost seems like a shopping list for domestic terrorists or something lol.", ">\n\nI mean, pretty obvious that dams, substations, bridges and the like are good targets for chaos. Google maps gives you all this plus Police stations and everything, with photos and the address. Useless to worry about it", ">\n\nSeriously, anyone who unironicly think terrorists were waiting for a cat calendar to list a bunch of locations to bomb is paranoid about the wrong things.", ">\n\nCats would hunt and eat us if they were bigger than us", ">\n\nThey already do, they are called Tigers.", ">\n\nIf there were smaller tigers, we would keep them as pets, but they'd break all our stuff to prove they're still in charge.", ">\n\nThey already do, they are called Cats.", ">\n\nOH MY GOD!", ">\n\nMy tabby is a cute little tiger", ">\n\nI knew we had infrastructure challenges, but I didn't realize we were facing an infrastructure cat-astrophe!", ">\n\nTake my r/angryupvote", ">\n\nI love how shitty the photoshop is. Really ties it all together", ">\n\nYeah I like the idea--but the pictures chosen and color grading are all off. I'd like this idea better executed more professionally.", ">\n\nOh no I'm serious. The unprofessionalism is the best part. I would absolutely pay money for this", ">\n\nOnly only thing weirder is gonna be their crazy ass plan to save the infrastructure.", ">\n\nIt's the engineer Corp, they can build giant cat carriers.", ">\n\nI guess anything beats the 40 million they spend on viagra to keep the soldiers saluting.", ">\n\nThis is delightful", ">\n\ni was imagining mountain lions breaking in to dumpsters or something, not giant house cats gnawing on substations, not disappointed.", ">\n\nI don’t need a calendar now that our pocket rectangles handle all of that for us, but I really want this calendar.", ">\n\nIt is really convenient to just walk by my schedule versus having to pull it up, scroll, click and expand. I tend to forget about things if I don’t see it in front of me, but that’s just how my brain works. Plus if you’re on the phone trying to schedule something it’s nice to write it out too.", ">\n\nI'm sorry, we're already booked for giant spiders.", ">\n\nI personally kinda love this.", ">\n\nBest use of a miniscule amount of our tax dollars in the entire US $1.7T budget. US Army Corp wins the internet today!", ">\n\nHonestly, the entire army corps of engineers may be one of highest rates of return on public good vs funding", ">\n\nSeriously. They do a shit ton of quality and important public work on a relatively shoe-string budget for engineering. I have a lot of respect for the people that work at the USACOE.", ">\n\nSeptember, now that one is art", ">\n\nHaters will say it's Photoshop.", ">\n\nThey’ve never seen Catzilla.", ">\n\nHero of the Week! Hail yourself!", ">\n\nThere it is!", ">\n\n\nThe Army Corps Of Engineers Has Released a 2023 Calendar Of Giant Cats Attacking <\n\nr/brand new sentence \nAlso, giant cats attacking infrastructure is so 2020. In 2023 it just sounds silly.", ">\n\nSeptember ❤️", ">\n\nOmg. I love this. Especially the text blurbs on the pictures. Very funny and adorable!", ">\n\nSounds like they understand cats are required if you want social media traction", ">\n\nI have never wanted to buy a calendar more than I do now!", ">\n\nOn the one hand, I applaud the idea.\nOn the other hand, the photoshop skills look like they came from the army corps of engineers.", ">\n\nWould you actually want them to look like they were perfectly matched to each environment? I'm pretty sure the comedic effect is all that matters here.\nAnd besides, it was just one engineer that created this on their spare time, rather than an official ACE production.", ">\n\nI was mainly being a bit snarky because the internet. That, and what I said was objectively true.", ">\n\nCan confirm, the Corps of Engineers fuckkkkks", ">\n\nGoddammit I just bought my 2023 calendar too lol", ">\n\nThat’s cute though, not worrisome like a lot of other r/nottheonion posts.", ">\n\nAs ever, the Army Corps of Engineers are the one branch of the US state that can get the important shit done", ">\n\nFrom the comments ITT it's evident that most people are unaware of how important they are to the lives of the majority of productive people in this country (people who live near a coastline or a major body of water). It's not just dams and rivers, it's the actual physical coastline of america that they look after.", ">\n\nYup, it seems double edged- people think oh, they're the army corps and assumes they must be doing only military stuff. But equally if it was civilianised no doubt it'd be a target for cuts. An incredible org, regardless. And whether it's cats or weather or warming or the collapse of neglected infrastructure they're going to get more and more important so it's a damn good thing they exist because in 2023, nobody would invent them...", ">\n\nUSACE is an agency that is funded by the DOD but is vastly ran by civilians. There are very few enlisted or commissioned people in the army corps.", ">\n\nOK this is a thing and this is awesome", ">\n\nOops, I had \"Zombie Redneck Torture Family\" in the betting pool.", ">\n\nGrumble. Never gonna see a merman...", ">\n\nUSACE Portland District is one of the absolute best public sector social media presences out there. Seriously. Check it out.", ">\n\nCats in military pictures is an entire IG channel", ">\n\nGood boot", ">\n\nCommand team must be TDY", ">\n\nThat was even better than the title made me think it would be.", ">\n\nI support my tax dollars going to causes such as this.", ">\n\nFinally tax dollars doing something good", ">\n\nI’m kind of disappointed. From the title, I thought there would be photos of actual big cats attacking infrastructure, not photoshopped domestic cats. Anyone have a photo of a puma going after an electrical substation? Or a tiger gnawing on a water line?", ">\n\nNo. No one has that. Would be very interesting though to compile a calendar like that. Peace brother.", ">\n\nGreat, now I need a color printer.\nSeriously, thank you u/radioman8414!", ">\n\nThis is how I want my tax money spent. Downloaded and put up in my office!", ">\n\nThe regional social media guy who put this together is constantly hilarious", ">\n\nGreatest calendar of 2023.", ">\n\nI need one of these for my office! I've worked on some of these dams!", ">\n\nCan I ask you some dam questions?? I’m sure you know a lot of dam information. I’m sure all of us would love some dam stories. Thank you.", ">\n\nSure way to have a more interesting calendar than just infrastructure.", ">\n\nI would so adopt one if they existed.", ">\n\nI've heard army corps of engineers are very difficult to house train. May want to consider before adopting one.", ">\n\nTouché.", ">\n\nThat's amazing, thank you for posting it!", ">\n\nIs there anywhere to buy a nice physical copy of the calendar?", ">\n\nThose cats are mind-controlled by taxoplasmosis alien ameobas!", ">\n\nI was thinking this was gonna be mountain lions taking out maintenance huts or something like that. This is so much better", ">\n\nI’m the daughter of a former Portland, Oregon, US Army Corps Engineer, and I can confirm they are a strange crew. It makes me view the dams on the Columbia River fondly?", ">\n\nI love this so much.", ">\n\nDude. Awesome.", ">\n\nI love this! My astronomy teacher once did a talk on space cats. It was hysterical. Out of the blue he showed us pictures of space with cats added in. He felt we needed a fun class for laughs. I want this calendar.", ">\n\nThis would be really cool if they got a decent digital artist. But they didn't, they used photoshop about as well as I can.", ">\n\nI think that adds to the charm", ">\n\nDon't even need to see it, where can I buy it", ">\n\nFrom the link - \"Because the Army Corps is a Government Agency, the calendar is in public domain and totally free to download and print\"", ">\n\nThis is so funny, because it’s my Dad’s old workplace (from 1971 until he retired). My father, however, has zero sense of humor so he’d never work on something like this.", ">\n\nI met a guy from the Army Corps of Engineers when I worked for the EPA. Smartest guy I've ever met and the 2nd most hippe like person I've ever met. I'd like to think he had something to do with this idea.", ">\n\nFinally the massive military budget of the US is put to good use.", ">\n\nThis is awesome. I might have to buy one.", ">\n\nNo need. It's free, though you have to print it yourself if you want a physical copy", ">\n\nThis is so adorable! I approve wholeheartedly.", ">\n\nIt's about time.", ">\n\nSappers lead the way", ">\n\nI have so much love for this.", ">\n\nEhisssayons.", ">\n\nLove it.", ">\n\nUnintended benefits of relaxed Marijuana policies :)", ">\n\nUsace has not relaxed cannabis policies. No federal agency has", ">\n\nThey certainly have relaxed policy, even though federal law hasn't changed. It's legal in my state and the current administration has announced they won't be pursuing user level Marijuana charges at the federal level.\nWake up.", ">\n\nUSACE still falls under the same policies as the rest of the army. They're treated as DA civilians, and subject to periodic biochemical testing and the resultant consequences if they pee hot. The army has, and will not in the foreseeable future, relax any policy regarding marijuana.", ">\n\nAdorable idea; wish they had hired someone better at photoshop", ">\n\nIts a free gag calendar that was probably just put together by someone for fun in their spare time. Considering the state of infrastructure in the US I don't imagine the Corps of Engineers has a lot of extra spending money to throw around", ">\n\nIf they were smart, they would print it for us and sell it. I don't want a crappy calender that I printed on regular paper, I want the real thing and I would be glad to pay for it.", ">\n\nGenius!! This needs to be a trend. Reddit, make it so...", ">\n\nfuck yeah we finally gonna balance the budget", ">\n\nDecember's hilarious. I want this calender.", ">\n\nYou can totally tell that this is not real. The lighting on the cats is so obviously different than the environmental mistake. Pathetic effort infrastructure geeks.", ">\n\nSo they can blame cats for shoddy workmanship and lax maintenance.", ">\n\nDon't capitalize \"Of\" in titles", ">\n\nWish they'd focus on not taking eight years to permit a fucking project, those lazy excuses for engineers.", ">\n\nYou’re crazy dude. These peeps have built some amazing things. Extremely impressive.", ">\n\nThey used to.", ">\n\n😂", ">\n\nThis whole absurd thing is exactly my sense of humour. LOVE it.", ">\n\nOregon! I've seen the one at Detroit Dam. Sneaky bugger. Hangs out with Bigfoot.", ">\n\nI need this", ">\n\nThat's some adorable terrorism right there.", ">\n\nI remember seeing them, on quad bikes, with a lot of equipment, on Myrtle Beach beaches, I always wondered what they were doing...", ">\n\nI love this sequel to Beginning of the End!", ">\n\nIs there a way I can buy a physical version?", ">\n\nThey're Demo-cats!", ">\n\nAny recommendations of the best way to get this printed semi-professionally? I tried checking Costco photo centre but they make you use a template.", ">\n\nOf course it’s Portland.", ">\n\nKind of disappointing I can't actually buy a printed one. My daughter would love this.", ">\n\nA pretty good idea for a poster. Who doesn't like cats being cats?", ">\n\nI really wish I had become a part of the ACOE but my mother didn't want her only son in the military.", ">\n\nUsace has civilian positions you're employed by the army, but you don't go through basic", ">\n\nI hope they pay more than Nidec.", ">\n\nThanks for sharing! Downloaded and got my new Lock Screen wallpaper.", ">\n\nDecember is 🔥", ">\n\nObligatory Cat Dynamics", ">\n\nPoliticians will say this is the proof of the REAL reason of why our infrastructure is deteriorating, then vote in a measure to hire their friends and family to counter this threat.", ">\n\nI didnt know cats were domestic terrorists like Republicans. lol", ">\n\nThis is the only kind of apocalypse I could see myself getting excited about.", ">\n\nAugust a missed opportunity to have CAT Excavators.", ">\n\nYou have my attention.", ">\n\nSmart move", ">\n\nGod help us.", ">\n\nBest thing to come out of the Army post WWII.", ">\n\n🤔", ">\n\n\"Let's write a two paragraph article about something freely available on the internet and make absolutely no attempt to actually tell you where to find it\".", ">\n\nCatjira!", ">\n\nhilarious!", ">\n\nFinally", ">\n\nThis is the oniony-est story I’ve seen on here in a while", ">\n\nCant wait for the next spending bill to include cat proofing our infrastructure", ">\n\nHonestly… I’d buy it.", ">\n\nWish I would have heard of that in November or so. This seems unique, fun and a great idea for a calendar.", ">\n\nI heard about this from Last Podcast on the Left, glad to see it pop up on my feed with pictures!", ">\n\nI'm gonna need an NSN For that...", ">\n\nOf course it’s the Portland District", ">\n\nHonestly this is worth buying", ">\n\nIm not a cat person, but I would buy the calendar.", ">\n\nAny way to view the album without losing my mind on that website? God it's shit on mobile.", ">\n\nI especially love how June just looks like a well framed optical illusion photo.", ">\n\nThis is cute and all, but man, it seems a little poor in taste that August is a kitty-shaped military drone blowing up an Iraqi preschool", ">\n\nWhat did Oregon do to deserve this", ">\n\nGee I read that and instantly I thought they had done a study and released an estimated calendar of when an where giant cats would attack infrastructure in 2023. Phew.", ">\n\nOn that day, humanity received a grim reminder…", ">\n\nah yes\nPortland keeping it weird again", ">\n\nit’s cute, but who wrote the copy?", ">\n\nAmazing", ">\n\neverything changed when the cat nation attacked", ">\n\nI'm into it", ">\n\nnow this is what I want my tax dollars going towards", ">\n\nI'd love to believe that there was some huge misunderstanding and somewhere someone had actually meant CATs like the company with the big heavy machinery", ">\n\nThe word \"attacking\" is doing a lot of work here", ">\n\nW", ">\n\nLook, I’m pretty anti-government, but this I can get behind", ">\n\nCattack on titan", ">\n\nI'm a civil engineer.\nI would fucking LOVE this.\nThis'll go good in my office next to my other engineering / math punny comics.\nLike this one.\nOr this one.\nOr, maybe this one.", ">\n\nThe Only well spent part of the military budget", ">\n\nI might buy it", ">\n\nWhat the fuck is that website", ">\n\nThis is great!", ">\n\nAugust is great.", ">\n\nNow the real MVP will tell us how to print this like an actual calendar.", ">\n\nThe only thing worthy of my tax dollars that the military has done this year.", ">\n\nOk, now we need a class II space laser pointer to distract the giant cats away from vital infrastructure.", ">\n\nThey all are so good. My favorite is May, then September.", ">\n\nOh... good.", ">\n\nThose paragraphs are hilarious.", ">\n\nNow THIS is news!", ">\n\nCatcatae", ">\n\nThey would, if they could.", ">\n\nOmg yes. Need.", ">\n\n\"attacking\" lol", ">\n\nThere’s a great Twitter user called Giant Military Cats or something like that where the user does much the same. \nSeems like a kind, lonely soul who revels in people thanking them. Give it a look", ">\n\nNot oniony, really… just awesome." ]

[ "Imagine the work order. \nYour boss comes to you and says, \"Hey, you're in charge of the cats calendar.\"\n\"What calendar?\"\n\"The one with cats attacking infrastructure?\"\n\"What?\"", ">\n\nyou miss ONE day...", ">\n\nHail Vectron!", ">\n\nBy Vectron!", ">\n\nFor those yet to experience the holy might of Vectron's kindly claw", ">\n\nThank you. I had no idea.", ">\n\nYou are most welcome by Vectron", ">\n\nFor the love of all that is Vectron, your speech warms my Vectronic heart.", ">\n\nMay Vectron’s beard shed its benevolence upon us. 🙏🏻🙏🏻", ">\n\nAnd may all of his correspondence to us be sent Vectronically. So it is written, so shall it be done.", ">\n\nI live in Oregon and started to recognize a bunch of the dams, so I was like, “huh, that’s kinda cool.” Then I saw the text at the bottom of the first page. Portland District. Now a cat calendar makes perfect sense.", ">\n\nSame thing happened to me. I think I'm going to head to kinko's and have them print it out for me.", ">\n\nTell them you need to print some important official military documents before you show them what it is", ">\n\nDon’t forget to tell them you need it right meow!", ">\n\nWho will protect our infrastructure from this menace?", ">\n\nAn array of laser pointers.", ">\n\ncut to giant laser pointer satellite", ">\n\nomigod the jewish space lasers were real", ">\n\n*meowish space lasers", ">\n\nHey that's racist", ">\n\nI think it would be cheaper to buy a calendar than use the ink/toner required to print it.", ">\n\nThat's why you print it at work.", ">\n\nhaha true, oh wait I work from home...", ">\n\nIf you print from home for work you can write printer supplies off on your taxes :)", ">\n\nUh yes boss I needed a calendar, so… oh what? Use the company one? Ummm but the US army has a really nice one and I thought I’d be patriotic - what? Oh, yeah I know we’re in Canada, I just…", ">\n\nPortland is pretty much wannabe Vancouver, BC. I say it goes!", ">\n\nExactly what a Canadian would say...", ">\n\nGoodies, goodie goodie, yum yum.", ">\n\nI just scrolled until I found The Goodies reference but was wondering if I was going to find one at all.", ">\n\nIt's way down the list, isn't it? \n/knees hurt.", ">\n\nOw, my back! Get off my lawn!", ">\n\nOne engineer did it in his free time, and released it for use through the corps. \nThis was NOT government funded.", ">\n\nEven if it was government funded, I support this.", ">\n\nEven if it was government funded it would've been like maybe one day of pay at most? Not a ton for the amount of publicity they'll get that might make them even more money.", ">\n\nAssuming they already have the infrastructure pictures I would be surprised if it took more than 4 work hours. Also for chronically underfunded agencies that kind of PR is exactly how you get voters to convince the politicians to increase funds. I look forward to NASA figuring out how to photoshop giant cats playing with the planets like balls of yarn for their calendar", ">\n\n\nI look forward to NASA figuring out how to photoshop giant cats playing with the planets like balls of yarn for their calendar \n\nWell let me introduce you to the most bizarre social media messaging from an official U.S. government agency: The U.S. Consumer Product Safety Commission's Instagram feed. \nAnd before I catch any \"there's no way this is real\" replies, here's the Washington Post covering it: \n\nHow a federal bureaucrat uses astronaut babies and dogs riding pigeons to try to save your life", ">\n\nThis is rad!", ">\n\nCISA losing their shit rn", ">\n\nI would like one.", ">\n\nIt's a free PDF.", ">\n\nNo he would like one of the cats", ">\n\nyOu wOuLdN'T DoWnloAd a cAT", ">\n\nI can’t believe they included Sherlock getting knocked off a cliff. At least he didn’t jump this time.", ">\n\nI'm shocked that you're the only person I've seen comment on this so far! it's hilarious", ">\n\n\"Every year, dozens of cats attack important infrastructure for our country causing dozens of dollars of damage. Won't you help?\"", ">\n\nI heard this with Sarah McLoughlin's voice", ">\n\nArmy Cats", ">\n\nNow do it with pictures of our crumbling infrastructure.", ">\n\nThis seems like one of those things that is somehow going to age poorly given our Universe's current sense of irony. I don't know how exactly, but there's going to be some mass tragedy involving cats and a suspension bridge or something this year.", ">\n\nThe first image kind of reads like \"this infrastructure is super important so don't damage it\". The calendar almost seems like a shopping list for domestic terrorists or something lol.", ">\n\nI mean, pretty obvious that dams, substations, bridges and the like are good targets for chaos. Google maps gives you all this plus Police stations and everything, with photos and the address. Useless to worry about it", ">\n\nSeriously, anyone who unironicly think terrorists were waiting for a cat calendar to list a bunch of locations to bomb is paranoid about the wrong things.", ">\n\nCats would hunt and eat us if they were bigger than us", ">\n\nThey already do, they are called Tigers.", ">\n\nIf there were smaller tigers, we would keep them as pets, but they'd break all our stuff to prove they're still in charge.", ">\n\nThey already do, they are called Cats.", ">\n\nOH MY GOD!", ">\n\nMy tabby is a cute little tiger", ">\n\nI knew we had infrastructure challenges, but I didn't realize we were facing an infrastructure cat-astrophe!", ">\n\nTake my r/angryupvote", ">\n\nI love how shitty the photoshop is. Really ties it all together", ">\n\nYeah I like the idea--but the pictures chosen and color grading are all off. I'd like this idea better executed more professionally.", ">\n\nOh no I'm serious. The unprofessionalism is the best part. I would absolutely pay money for this", ">\n\nOnly only thing weirder is gonna be their crazy ass plan to save the infrastructure.", ">\n\nIt's the engineer Corp, they can build giant cat carriers.", ">\n\nI guess anything beats the 40 million they spend on viagra to keep the soldiers saluting.", ">\n\nThis is delightful", ">\n\ni was imagining mountain lions breaking in to dumpsters or something, not giant house cats gnawing on substations, not disappointed.", ">\n\nI don’t need a calendar now that our pocket rectangles handle all of that for us, but I really want this calendar.", ">\n\nIt is really convenient to just walk by my schedule versus having to pull it up, scroll, click and expand. I tend to forget about things if I don’t see it in front of me, but that’s just how my brain works. Plus if you’re on the phone trying to schedule something it’s nice to write it out too.", ">\n\nI'm sorry, we're already booked for giant spiders.", ">\n\nI personally kinda love this.", ">\n\nBest use of a miniscule amount of our tax dollars in the entire US $1.7T budget. US Army Corp wins the internet today!", ">\n\nHonestly, the entire army corps of engineers may be one of highest rates of return on public good vs funding", ">\n\nSeriously. They do a shit ton of quality and important public work on a relatively shoe-string budget for engineering. I have a lot of respect for the people that work at the USACOE.", ">\n\nSeptember, now that one is art", ">\n\nHaters will say it's Photoshop.", ">\n\nThey’ve never seen Catzilla.", ">\n\nHero of the Week! Hail yourself!", ">\n\nThere it is!", ">\n\n\nThe Army Corps Of Engineers Has Released a 2023 Calendar Of Giant Cats Attacking <\n\nr/brand new sentence \nAlso, giant cats attacking infrastructure is so 2020. In 2023 it just sounds silly.", ">\n\nSeptember ❤️", ">\n\nOmg. I love this. Especially the text blurbs on the pictures. Very funny and adorable!", ">\n\nSounds like they understand cats are required if you want social media traction", ">\n\nI have never wanted to buy a calendar more than I do now!", ">\n\nOn the one hand, I applaud the idea.\nOn the other hand, the photoshop skills look like they came from the army corps of engineers.", ">\n\nWould you actually want them to look like they were perfectly matched to each environment? I'm pretty sure the comedic effect is all that matters here.\nAnd besides, it was just one engineer that created this on their spare time, rather than an official ACE production.", ">\n\nI was mainly being a bit snarky because the internet. That, and what I said was objectively true.", ">\n\nCan confirm, the Corps of Engineers fuckkkkks", ">\n\nGoddammit I just bought my 2023 calendar too lol", ">\n\nThat’s cute though, not worrisome like a lot of other r/nottheonion posts.", ">\n\nAs ever, the Army Corps of Engineers are the one branch of the US state that can get the important shit done", ">\n\nFrom the comments ITT it's evident that most people are unaware of how important they are to the lives of the majority of productive people in this country (people who live near a coastline or a major body of water). It's not just dams and rivers, it's the actual physical coastline of america that they look after.", ">\n\nYup, it seems double edged- people think oh, they're the army corps and assumes they must be doing only military stuff. But equally if it was civilianised no doubt it'd be a target for cuts. An incredible org, regardless. And whether it's cats or weather or warming or the collapse of neglected infrastructure they're going to get more and more important so it's a damn good thing they exist because in 2023, nobody would invent them...", ">\n\nUSACE is an agency that is funded by the DOD but is vastly ran by civilians. There are very few enlisted or commissioned people in the army corps.", ">\n\nOK this is a thing and this is awesome", ">\n\nOops, I had \"Zombie Redneck Torture Family\" in the betting pool.", ">\n\nGrumble. Never gonna see a merman...", ">\n\nUSACE Portland District is one of the absolute best public sector social media presences out there. Seriously. Check it out.", ">\n\nCats in military pictures is an entire IG channel", ">\n\nGood boot", ">\n\nCommand team must be TDY", ">\n\nThat was even better than the title made me think it would be.", ">\n\nI support my tax dollars going to causes such as this.", ">\n\nFinally tax dollars doing something good", ">\n\nI’m kind of disappointed. From the title, I thought there would be photos of actual big cats attacking infrastructure, not photoshopped domestic cats. Anyone have a photo of a puma going after an electrical substation? Or a tiger gnawing on a water line?", ">\n\nNo. No one has that. Would be very interesting though to compile a calendar like that. Peace brother.", ">\n\nGreat, now I need a color printer.\nSeriously, thank you u/radioman8414!", ">\n\nThis is how I want my tax money spent. Downloaded and put up in my office!", ">\n\nThe regional social media guy who put this together is constantly hilarious", ">\n\nGreatest calendar of 2023.", ">\n\nI need one of these for my office! I've worked on some of these dams!", ">\n\nCan I ask you some dam questions?? I’m sure you know a lot of dam information. I’m sure all of us would love some dam stories. Thank you.", ">\n\nSure way to have a more interesting calendar than just infrastructure.", ">\n\nI would so adopt one if they existed.", ">\n\nI've heard army corps of engineers are very difficult to house train. May want to consider before adopting one.", ">\n\nTouché.", ">\n\nThat's amazing, thank you for posting it!", ">\n\nIs there anywhere to buy a nice physical copy of the calendar?", ">\n\nThose cats are mind-controlled by taxoplasmosis alien ameobas!", ">\n\nI was thinking this was gonna be mountain lions taking out maintenance huts or something like that. This is so much better", ">\n\nI’m the daughter of a former Portland, Oregon, US Army Corps Engineer, and I can confirm they are a strange crew. It makes me view the dams on the Columbia River fondly?", ">\n\nI love this so much.", ">\n\nDude. Awesome.", ">\n\nI love this! My astronomy teacher once did a talk on space cats. It was hysterical. Out of the blue he showed us pictures of space with cats added in. He felt we needed a fun class for laughs. I want this calendar.", ">\n\nThis would be really cool if they got a decent digital artist. But they didn't, they used photoshop about as well as I can.", ">\n\nI think that adds to the charm", ">\n\nDon't even need to see it, where can I buy it", ">\n\nFrom the link - \"Because the Army Corps is a Government Agency, the calendar is in public domain and totally free to download and print\"", ">\n\nThis is so funny, because it’s my Dad’s old workplace (from 1971 until he retired). My father, however, has zero sense of humor so he’d never work on something like this.", ">\n\nI met a guy from the Army Corps of Engineers when I worked for the EPA. Smartest guy I've ever met and the 2nd most hippe like person I've ever met. I'd like to think he had something to do with this idea.", ">\n\nFinally the massive military budget of the US is put to good use.", ">\n\nThis is awesome. I might have to buy one.", ">\n\nNo need. It's free, though you have to print it yourself if you want a physical copy", ">\n\nThis is so adorable! I approve wholeheartedly.", ">\n\nIt's about time.", ">\n\nSappers lead the way", ">\n\nI have so much love for this.", ">\n\nEhisssayons.", ">\n\nLove it.", ">\n\nUnintended benefits of relaxed Marijuana policies :)", ">\n\nUsace has not relaxed cannabis policies. No federal agency has", ">\n\nThey certainly have relaxed policy, even though federal law hasn't changed. It's legal in my state and the current administration has announced they won't be pursuing user level Marijuana charges at the federal level.\nWake up.", ">\n\nUSACE still falls under the same policies as the rest of the army. They're treated as DA civilians, and subject to periodic biochemical testing and the resultant consequences if they pee hot. The army has, and will not in the foreseeable future, relax any policy regarding marijuana.", ">\n\nAdorable idea; wish they had hired someone better at photoshop", ">\n\nIts a free gag calendar that was probably just put together by someone for fun in their spare time. Considering the state of infrastructure in the US I don't imagine the Corps of Engineers has a lot of extra spending money to throw around", ">\n\nIf they were smart, they would print it for us and sell it. I don't want a crappy calender that I printed on regular paper, I want the real thing and I would be glad to pay for it.", ">\n\nGenius!! This needs to be a trend. Reddit, make it so...", ">\n\nfuck yeah we finally gonna balance the budget", ">\n\nDecember's hilarious. I want this calender.", ">\n\nYou can totally tell that this is not real. The lighting on the cats is so obviously different than the environmental mistake. Pathetic effort infrastructure geeks.", ">\n\nSo they can blame cats for shoddy workmanship and lax maintenance.", ">\n\nDon't capitalize \"Of\" in titles", ">\n\nWish they'd focus on not taking eight years to permit a fucking project, those lazy excuses for engineers.", ">\n\nYou’re crazy dude. These peeps have built some amazing things. Extremely impressive.", ">\n\nThey used to.", ">\n\n😂", ">\n\nThis whole absurd thing is exactly my sense of humour. LOVE it.", ">\n\nOregon! I've seen the one at Detroit Dam. Sneaky bugger. Hangs out with Bigfoot.", ">\n\nI need this", ">\n\nThat's some adorable terrorism right there.", ">\n\nI remember seeing them, on quad bikes, with a lot of equipment, on Myrtle Beach beaches, I always wondered what they were doing...", ">\n\nI love this sequel to Beginning of the End!", ">\n\nIs there a way I can buy a physical version?", ">\n\nThey're Demo-cats!", ">\n\nAny recommendations of the best way to get this printed semi-professionally? I tried checking Costco photo centre but they make you use a template.", ">\n\nOf course it’s Portland.", ">\n\nKind of disappointing I can't actually buy a printed one. My daughter would love this.", ">\n\nA pretty good idea for a poster. Who doesn't like cats being cats?", ">\n\nI really wish I had become a part of the ACOE but my mother didn't want her only son in the military.", ">\n\nUsace has civilian positions you're employed by the army, but you don't go through basic", ">\n\nI hope they pay more than Nidec.", ">\n\nThanks for sharing! Downloaded and got my new Lock Screen wallpaper.", ">\n\nDecember is 🔥", ">\n\nObligatory Cat Dynamics", ">\n\nPoliticians will say this is the proof of the REAL reason of why our infrastructure is deteriorating, then vote in a measure to hire their friends and family to counter this threat.", ">\n\nI didnt know cats were domestic terrorists like Republicans. lol", ">\n\nThis is the only kind of apocalypse I could see myself getting excited about.", ">\n\nAugust a missed opportunity to have CAT Excavators.", ">\n\nYou have my attention.", ">\n\nSmart move", ">\n\nGod help us.", ">\n\nBest thing to come out of the Army post WWII.", ">\n\n🤔", ">\n\n\"Let's write a two paragraph article about something freely available on the internet and make absolutely no attempt to actually tell you where to find it\".", ">\n\nCatjira!", ">\n\nhilarious!", ">\n\nFinally", ">\n\nThis is the oniony-est story I’ve seen on here in a while", ">\n\nCant wait for the next spending bill to include cat proofing our infrastructure", ">\n\nHonestly… I’d buy it.", ">\n\nWish I would have heard of that in November or so. This seems unique, fun and a great idea for a calendar.", ">\n\nI heard about this from Last Podcast on the Left, glad to see it pop up on my feed with pictures!", ">\n\nI'm gonna need an NSN For that...", ">\n\nOf course it’s the Portland District", ">\n\nHonestly this is worth buying", ">\n\nIm not a cat person, but I would buy the calendar.", ">\n\nAny way to view the album without losing my mind on that website? God it's shit on mobile.", ">\n\nI especially love how June just looks like a well framed optical illusion photo.", ">\n\nThis is cute and all, but man, it seems a little poor in taste that August is a kitty-shaped military drone blowing up an Iraqi preschool", ">\n\nWhat did Oregon do to deserve this", ">\n\nGee I read that and instantly I thought they had done a study and released an estimated calendar of when an where giant cats would attack infrastructure in 2023. Phew.", ">\n\nOn that day, humanity received a grim reminder…", ">\n\nah yes\nPortland keeping it weird again", ">\n\nit’s cute, but who wrote the copy?", ">\n\nAmazing", ">\n\neverything changed when the cat nation attacked", ">\n\nI'm into it", ">\n\nnow this is what I want my tax dollars going towards", ">\n\nI'd love to believe that there was some huge misunderstanding and somewhere someone had actually meant CATs like the company with the big heavy machinery", ">\n\nThe word \"attacking\" is doing a lot of work here", ">\n\nW", ">\n\nLook, I’m pretty anti-government, but this I can get behind", ">\n\nCattack on titan", ">\n\nI'm a civil engineer.\nI would fucking LOVE this.\nThis'll go good in my office next to my other engineering / math punny comics.\nLike this one.\nOr this one.\nOr, maybe this one.", ">\n\nThe Only well spent part of the military budget", ">\n\nI might buy it", ">\n\nWhat the fuck is that website", ">\n\nThis is great!", ">\n\nAugust is great.", ">\n\nNow the real MVP will tell us how to print this like an actual calendar.", ">\n\nThe only thing worthy of my tax dollars that the military has done this year.", ">\n\nOk, now we need a class II space laser pointer to distract the giant cats away from vital infrastructure.", ">\n\nThey all are so good. My favorite is May, then September.", ">\n\nOh... good.", ">\n\nThose paragraphs are hilarious.", ">\n\nNow THIS is news!", ">\n\nCatcatae", ">\n\nThey would, if they could.", ">\n\nOmg yes. Need.", ">\n\n\"attacking\" lol", ">\n\nThere’s a great Twitter user called Giant Military Cats or something like that where the user does much the same. \nSeems like a kind, lonely soul who revels in people thanking them. Give it a look", ">\n\nNot oniony, really… just awesome.", ">\n\nThis is what our tax dollars should be used for" ]

[ "Imagine the work order. \nYour boss comes to you and says, \"Hey, you're in charge of the cats calendar.\"\n\"What calendar?\"\n\"The one with cats attacking infrastructure?\"\n\"What?\"", ">\n\nyou miss ONE day...", ">\n\nHail Vectron!", ">\n\nBy Vectron!", ">\n\nFor those yet to experience the holy might of Vectron's kindly claw", ">\n\nThank you. I had no idea.", ">\n\nYou are most welcome by Vectron", ">\n\nFor the love of all that is Vectron, your speech warms my Vectronic heart.", ">\n\nMay Vectron’s beard shed its benevolence upon us. 🙏🏻🙏🏻", ">\n\nAnd may all of his correspondence to us be sent Vectronically. So it is written, so shall it be done.", ">\n\nI live in Oregon and started to recognize a bunch of the dams, so I was like, “huh, that’s kinda cool.” Then I saw the text at the bottom of the first page. Portland District. Now a cat calendar makes perfect sense.", ">\n\nSame thing happened to me. I think I'm going to head to kinko's and have them print it out for me.", ">\n\nTell them you need to print some important official military documents before you show them what it is", ">\n\nDon’t forget to tell them you need it right meow!", ">\n\nWho will protect our infrastructure from this menace?", ">\n\nAn array of laser pointers.", ">\n\ncut to giant laser pointer satellite", ">\n\nomigod the jewish space lasers were real", ">\n\n*meowish space lasers", ">\n\nHey that's racist", ">\n\nI think it would be cheaper to buy a calendar than use the ink/toner required to print it.", ">\n\nThat's why you print it at work.", ">\n\nhaha true, oh wait I work from home...", ">\n\nIf you print from home for work you can write printer supplies off on your taxes :)", ">\n\nUh yes boss I needed a calendar, so… oh what? Use the company one? Ummm but the US army has a really nice one and I thought I’d be patriotic - what? Oh, yeah I know we’re in Canada, I just…", ">\n\nPortland is pretty much wannabe Vancouver, BC. I say it goes!", ">\n\nExactly what a Canadian would say...", ">\n\nGoodies, goodie goodie, yum yum.", ">\n\nI just scrolled until I found The Goodies reference but was wondering if I was going to find one at all.", ">\n\nIt's way down the list, isn't it? \n/knees hurt.", ">\n\nOw, my back! Get off my lawn!", ">\n\nOne engineer did it in his free time, and released it for use through the corps. \nThis was NOT government funded.", ">\n\nEven if it was government funded, I support this.", ">\n\nEven if it was government funded it would've been like maybe one day of pay at most? Not a ton for the amount of publicity they'll get that might make them even more money.", ">\n\nAssuming they already have the infrastructure pictures I would be surprised if it took more than 4 work hours. Also for chronically underfunded agencies that kind of PR is exactly how you get voters to convince the politicians to increase funds. I look forward to NASA figuring out how to photoshop giant cats playing with the planets like balls of yarn for their calendar", ">\n\n\nI look forward to NASA figuring out how to photoshop giant cats playing with the planets like balls of yarn for their calendar \n\nWell let me introduce you to the most bizarre social media messaging from an official U.S. government agency: The U.S. Consumer Product Safety Commission's Instagram feed. \nAnd before I catch any \"there's no way this is real\" replies, here's the Washington Post covering it: \n\nHow a federal bureaucrat uses astronaut babies and dogs riding pigeons to try to save your life", ">\n\nThis is rad!", ">\n\nCISA losing their shit rn", ">\n\nI would like one.", ">\n\nIt's a free PDF.", ">\n\nNo he would like one of the cats", ">\n\nyOu wOuLdN'T DoWnloAd a cAT", ">\n\nI can’t believe they included Sherlock getting knocked off a cliff. At least he didn’t jump this time.", ">\n\nI'm shocked that you're the only person I've seen comment on this so far! it's hilarious", ">\n\n\"Every year, dozens of cats attack important infrastructure for our country causing dozens of dollars of damage. Won't you help?\"", ">\n\nI heard this with Sarah McLoughlin's voice", ">\n\nArmy Cats", ">\n\nNow do it with pictures of our crumbling infrastructure.", ">\n\nThis seems like one of those things that is somehow going to age poorly given our Universe's current sense of irony. I don't know how exactly, but there's going to be some mass tragedy involving cats and a suspension bridge or something this year.", ">\n\nThe first image kind of reads like \"this infrastructure is super important so don't damage it\". The calendar almost seems like a shopping list for domestic terrorists or something lol.", ">\n\nI mean, pretty obvious that dams, substations, bridges and the like are good targets for chaos. Google maps gives you all this plus Police stations and everything, with photos and the address. Useless to worry about it", ">\n\nSeriously, anyone who unironicly think terrorists were waiting for a cat calendar to list a bunch of locations to bomb is paranoid about the wrong things.", ">\n\nCats would hunt and eat us if they were bigger than us", ">\n\nThey already do, they are called Tigers.", ">\n\nIf there were smaller tigers, we would keep them as pets, but they'd break all our stuff to prove they're still in charge.", ">\n\nThey already do, they are called Cats.", ">\n\nOH MY GOD!", ">\n\nMy tabby is a cute little tiger", ">\n\nI knew we had infrastructure challenges, but I didn't realize we were facing an infrastructure cat-astrophe!", ">\n\nTake my r/angryupvote", ">\n\nI love how shitty the photoshop is. Really ties it all together", ">\n\nYeah I like the idea--but the pictures chosen and color grading are all off. I'd like this idea better executed more professionally.", ">\n\nOh no I'm serious. The unprofessionalism is the best part. I would absolutely pay money for this", ">\n\nOnly only thing weirder is gonna be their crazy ass plan to save the infrastructure.", ">\n\nIt's the engineer Corp, they can build giant cat carriers.", ">\n\nI guess anything beats the 40 million they spend on viagra to keep the soldiers saluting.", ">\n\nThis is delightful", ">\n\ni was imagining mountain lions breaking in to dumpsters or something, not giant house cats gnawing on substations, not disappointed.", ">\n\nI don’t need a calendar now that our pocket rectangles handle all of that for us, but I really want this calendar.", ">\n\nIt is really convenient to just walk by my schedule versus having to pull it up, scroll, click and expand. I tend to forget about things if I don’t see it in front of me, but that’s just how my brain works. Plus if you’re on the phone trying to schedule something it’s nice to write it out too.", ">\n\nI'm sorry, we're already booked for giant spiders.", ">\n\nI personally kinda love this.", ">\n\nBest use of a miniscule amount of our tax dollars in the entire US $1.7T budget. US Army Corp wins the internet today!", ">\n\nHonestly, the entire army corps of engineers may be one of highest rates of return on public good vs funding", ">\n\nSeriously. They do a shit ton of quality and important public work on a relatively shoe-string budget for engineering. I have a lot of respect for the people that work at the USACOE.", ">\n\nSeptember, now that one is art", ">\n\nHaters will say it's Photoshop.", ">\n\nThey’ve never seen Catzilla.", ">\n\nHero of the Week! Hail yourself!", ">\n\nThere it is!", ">\n\n\nThe Army Corps Of Engineers Has Released a 2023 Calendar Of Giant Cats Attacking <\n\nr/brand new sentence \nAlso, giant cats attacking infrastructure is so 2020. In 2023 it just sounds silly.", ">\n\nSeptember ❤️", ">\n\nOmg. I love this. Especially the text blurbs on the pictures. Very funny and adorable!", ">\n\nSounds like they understand cats are required if you want social media traction", ">\n\nI have never wanted to buy a calendar more than I do now!", ">\n\nOn the one hand, I applaud the idea.\nOn the other hand, the photoshop skills look like they came from the army corps of engineers.", ">\n\nWould you actually want them to look like they were perfectly matched to each environment? I'm pretty sure the comedic effect is all that matters here.\nAnd besides, it was just one engineer that created this on their spare time, rather than an official ACE production.", ">\n\nI was mainly being a bit snarky because the internet. That, and what I said was objectively true.", ">\n\nCan confirm, the Corps of Engineers fuckkkkks", ">\n\nGoddammit I just bought my 2023 calendar too lol", ">\n\nThat’s cute though, not worrisome like a lot of other r/nottheonion posts.", ">\n\nAs ever, the Army Corps of Engineers are the one branch of the US state that can get the important shit done", ">\n\nFrom the comments ITT it's evident that most people are unaware of how important they are to the lives of the majority of productive people in this country (people who live near a coastline or a major body of water). It's not just dams and rivers, it's the actual physical coastline of america that they look after.", ">\n\nYup, it seems double edged- people think oh, they're the army corps and assumes they must be doing only military stuff. But equally if it was civilianised no doubt it'd be a target for cuts. An incredible org, regardless. And whether it's cats or weather or warming or the collapse of neglected infrastructure they're going to get more and more important so it's a damn good thing they exist because in 2023, nobody would invent them...", ">\n\nUSACE is an agency that is funded by the DOD but is vastly ran by civilians. There are very few enlisted or commissioned people in the army corps.", ">\n\nOK this is a thing and this is awesome", ">\n\nOops, I had \"Zombie Redneck Torture Family\" in the betting pool.", ">\n\nGrumble. Never gonna see a merman...", ">\n\nUSACE Portland District is one of the absolute best public sector social media presences out there. Seriously. Check it out.", ">\n\nCats in military pictures is an entire IG channel", ">\n\nGood boot", ">\n\nCommand team must be TDY", ">\n\nThat was even better than the title made me think it would be.", ">\n\nI support my tax dollars going to causes such as this.", ">\n\nFinally tax dollars doing something good", ">\n\nI’m kind of disappointed. From the title, I thought there would be photos of actual big cats attacking infrastructure, not photoshopped domestic cats. Anyone have a photo of a puma going after an electrical substation? Or a tiger gnawing on a water line?", ">\n\nNo. No one has that. Would be very interesting though to compile a calendar like that. Peace brother.", ">\n\nGreat, now I need a color printer.\nSeriously, thank you u/radioman8414!", ">\n\nThis is how I want my tax money spent. Downloaded and put up in my office!", ">\n\nThe regional social media guy who put this together is constantly hilarious", ">\n\nGreatest calendar of 2023.", ">\n\nI need one of these for my office! I've worked on some of these dams!", ">\n\nCan I ask you some dam questions?? I’m sure you know a lot of dam information. I’m sure all of us would love some dam stories. Thank you.", ">\n\nSure way to have a more interesting calendar than just infrastructure.", ">\n\nI would so adopt one if they existed.", ">\n\nI've heard army corps of engineers are very difficult to house train. May want to consider before adopting one.", ">\n\nTouché.", ">\n\nThat's amazing, thank you for posting it!", ">\n\nIs there anywhere to buy a nice physical copy of the calendar?", ">\n\nThose cats are mind-controlled by taxoplasmosis alien ameobas!", ">\n\nI was thinking this was gonna be mountain lions taking out maintenance huts or something like that. This is so much better", ">\n\nI’m the daughter of a former Portland, Oregon, US Army Corps Engineer, and I can confirm they are a strange crew. It makes me view the dams on the Columbia River fondly?", ">\n\nI love this so much.", ">\n\nDude. Awesome.", ">\n\nI love this! My astronomy teacher once did a talk on space cats. It was hysterical. Out of the blue he showed us pictures of space with cats added in. He felt we needed a fun class for laughs. I want this calendar.", ">\n\nThis would be really cool if they got a decent digital artist. But they didn't, they used photoshop about as well as I can.", ">\n\nI think that adds to the charm", ">\n\nDon't even need to see it, where can I buy it", ">\n\nFrom the link - \"Because the Army Corps is a Government Agency, the calendar is in public domain and totally free to download and print\"", ">\n\nThis is so funny, because it’s my Dad’s old workplace (from 1971 until he retired). My father, however, has zero sense of humor so he’d never work on something like this.", ">\n\nI met a guy from the Army Corps of Engineers when I worked for the EPA. Smartest guy I've ever met and the 2nd most hippe like person I've ever met. I'd like to think he had something to do with this idea.", ">\n\nFinally the massive military budget of the US is put to good use.", ">\n\nThis is awesome. I might have to buy one.", ">\n\nNo need. It's free, though you have to print it yourself if you want a physical copy", ">\n\nThis is so adorable! I approve wholeheartedly.", ">\n\nIt's about time.", ">\n\nSappers lead the way", ">\n\nI have so much love for this.", ">\n\nEhisssayons.", ">\n\nLove it.", ">\n\nUnintended benefits of relaxed Marijuana policies :)", ">\n\nUsace has not relaxed cannabis policies. No federal agency has", ">\n\nThey certainly have relaxed policy, even though federal law hasn't changed. It's legal in my state and the current administration has announced they won't be pursuing user level Marijuana charges at the federal level.\nWake up.", ">\n\nUSACE still falls under the same policies as the rest of the army. They're treated as DA civilians, and subject to periodic biochemical testing and the resultant consequences if they pee hot. The army has, and will not in the foreseeable future, relax any policy regarding marijuana.", ">\n\nAdorable idea; wish they had hired someone better at photoshop", ">\n\nIts a free gag calendar that was probably just put together by someone for fun in their spare time. Considering the state of infrastructure in the US I don't imagine the Corps of Engineers has a lot of extra spending money to throw around", ">\n\nIf they were smart, they would print it for us and sell it. I don't want a crappy calender that I printed on regular paper, I want the real thing and I would be glad to pay for it.", ">\n\nGenius!! This needs to be a trend. Reddit, make it so...", ">\n\nfuck yeah we finally gonna balance the budget", ">\n\nDecember's hilarious. I want this calender.", ">\n\nYou can totally tell that this is not real. The lighting on the cats is so obviously different than the environmental mistake. Pathetic effort infrastructure geeks.", ">\n\nSo they can blame cats for shoddy workmanship and lax maintenance.", ">\n\nDon't capitalize \"Of\" in titles", ">\n\nWish they'd focus on not taking eight years to permit a fucking project, those lazy excuses for engineers.", ">\n\nYou’re crazy dude. These peeps have built some amazing things. Extremely impressive.", ">\n\nThey used to.", ">\n\n😂", ">\n\nThis whole absurd thing is exactly my sense of humour. LOVE it.", ">\n\nOregon! I've seen the one at Detroit Dam. Sneaky bugger. Hangs out with Bigfoot.", ">\n\nI need this", ">\n\nThat's some adorable terrorism right there.", ">\n\nI remember seeing them, on quad bikes, with a lot of equipment, on Myrtle Beach beaches, I always wondered what they were doing...", ">\n\nI love this sequel to Beginning of the End!", ">\n\nIs there a way I can buy a physical version?", ">\n\nThey're Demo-cats!", ">\n\nAny recommendations of the best way to get this printed semi-professionally? I tried checking Costco photo centre but they make you use a template.", ">\n\nOf course it’s Portland.", ">\n\nKind of disappointing I can't actually buy a printed one. My daughter would love this.", ">\n\nA pretty good idea for a poster. Who doesn't like cats being cats?", ">\n\nI really wish I had become a part of the ACOE but my mother didn't want her only son in the military.", ">\n\nUsace has civilian positions you're employed by the army, but you don't go through basic", ">\n\nI hope they pay more than Nidec.", ">\n\nThanks for sharing! Downloaded and got my new Lock Screen wallpaper.", ">\n\nDecember is 🔥", ">\n\nObligatory Cat Dynamics", ">\n\nPoliticians will say this is the proof of the REAL reason of why our infrastructure is deteriorating, then vote in a measure to hire their friends and family to counter this threat.", ">\n\nI didnt know cats were domestic terrorists like Republicans. lol", ">\n\nThis is the only kind of apocalypse I could see myself getting excited about.", ">\n\nAugust a missed opportunity to have CAT Excavators.", ">\n\nYou have my attention.", ">\n\nSmart move", ">\n\nGod help us.", ">\n\nBest thing to come out of the Army post WWII.", ">\n\n🤔", ">\n\n\"Let's write a two paragraph article about something freely available on the internet and make absolutely no attempt to actually tell you where to find it\".", ">\n\nCatjira!", ">\n\nhilarious!", ">\n\nFinally", ">\n\nThis is the oniony-est story I’ve seen on here in a while", ">\n\nCant wait for the next spending bill to include cat proofing our infrastructure", ">\n\nHonestly… I’d buy it.", ">\n\nWish I would have heard of that in November or so. This seems unique, fun and a great idea for a calendar.", ">\n\nI heard about this from Last Podcast on the Left, glad to see it pop up on my feed with pictures!", ">\n\nI'm gonna need an NSN For that...", ">\n\nOf course it’s the Portland District", ">\n\nHonestly this is worth buying", ">\n\nIm not a cat person, but I would buy the calendar.", ">\n\nAny way to view the album without losing my mind on that website? God it's shit on mobile.", ">\n\nI especially love how June just looks like a well framed optical illusion photo.", ">\n\nThis is cute and all, but man, it seems a little poor in taste that August is a kitty-shaped military drone blowing up an Iraqi preschool", ">\n\nWhat did Oregon do to deserve this", ">\n\nGee I read that and instantly I thought they had done a study and released an estimated calendar of when an where giant cats would attack infrastructure in 2023. Phew.", ">\n\nOn that day, humanity received a grim reminder…", ">\n\nah yes\nPortland keeping it weird again", ">\n\nit’s cute, but who wrote the copy?", ">\n\nAmazing", ">\n\neverything changed when the cat nation attacked", ">\n\nI'm into it", ">\n\nnow this is what I want my tax dollars going towards", ">\n\nI'd love to believe that there was some huge misunderstanding and somewhere someone had actually meant CATs like the company with the big heavy machinery", ">\n\nThe word \"attacking\" is doing a lot of work here", ">\n\nW", ">\n\nLook, I’m pretty anti-government, but this I can get behind", ">\n\nCattack on titan", ">\n\nI'm a civil engineer.\nI would fucking LOVE this.\nThis'll go good in my office next to my other engineering / math punny comics.\nLike this one.\nOr this one.\nOr, maybe this one.", ">\n\nThe Only well spent part of the military budget", ">\n\nI might buy it", ">\n\nWhat the fuck is that website", ">\n\nThis is great!", ">\n\nAugust is great.", ">\n\nNow the real MVP will tell us how to print this like an actual calendar.", ">\n\nThe only thing worthy of my tax dollars that the military has done this year.", ">\n\nOk, now we need a class II space laser pointer to distract the giant cats away from vital infrastructure.", ">\n\nThey all are so good. My favorite is May, then September.", ">\n\nOh... good.", ">\n\nThose paragraphs are hilarious.", ">\n\nNow THIS is news!", ">\n\nCatcatae", ">\n\nThey would, if they could.", ">\n\nOmg yes. Need.", ">\n\n\"attacking\" lol", ">\n\nThere’s a great Twitter user called Giant Military Cats or something like that where the user does much the same. \nSeems like a kind, lonely soul who revels in people thanking them. Give it a look", ">\n\nNot oniony, really… just awesome.", ">\n\nThis is what our tax dollars should be used for", ">\n\nThis is why shit takes forever to get built when the government is involved. Now it all make sense..." ]

[ "Imagine the work order. \nYour boss comes to you and says, \"Hey, you're in charge of the cats calendar.\"\n\"What calendar?\"\n\"The one with cats attacking infrastructure?\"\n\"What?\"", ">\n\nyou miss ONE day...", ">\n\nHail Vectron!", ">\n\nBy Vectron!", ">\n\nFor those yet to experience the holy might of Vectron's kindly claw", ">\n\nThank you. I had no idea.", ">\n\nYou are most welcome by Vectron", ">\n\nFor the love of all that is Vectron, your speech warms my Vectronic heart.", ">\n\nMay Vectron’s beard shed its benevolence upon us. 🙏🏻🙏🏻", ">\n\nAnd may all of his correspondence to us be sent Vectronically. So it is written, so shall it be done.", ">\n\nI live in Oregon and started to recognize a bunch of the dams, so I was like, “huh, that’s kinda cool.” Then I saw the text at the bottom of the first page. Portland District. Now a cat calendar makes perfect sense.", ">\n\nSame thing happened to me. I think I'm going to head to kinko's and have them print it out for me.", ">\n\nTell them you need to print some important official military documents before you show them what it is", ">\n\nDon’t forget to tell them you need it right meow!", ">\n\nWho will protect our infrastructure from this menace?", ">\n\nAn array of laser pointers.", ">\n\ncut to giant laser pointer satellite", ">\n\nomigod the jewish space lasers were real", ">\n\n*meowish space lasers", ">\n\nHey that's racist", ">\n\nI think it would be cheaper to buy a calendar than use the ink/toner required to print it.", ">\n\nThat's why you print it at work.", ">\n\nhaha true, oh wait I work from home...", ">\n\nIf you print from home for work you can write printer supplies off on your taxes :)", ">\n\nUh yes boss I needed a calendar, so… oh what? Use the company one? Ummm but the US army has a really nice one and I thought I’d be patriotic - what? Oh, yeah I know we’re in Canada, I just…", ">\n\nPortland is pretty much wannabe Vancouver, BC. I say it goes!", ">\n\nExactly what a Canadian would say...", ">\n\nGoodies, goodie goodie, yum yum.", ">\n\nI just scrolled until I found The Goodies reference but was wondering if I was going to find one at all.", ">\n\nIt's way down the list, isn't it? \n/knees hurt.", ">\n\nOw, my back! Get off my lawn!", ">\n\nOne engineer did it in his free time, and released it for use through the corps. \nThis was NOT government funded.", ">\n\nEven if it was government funded, I support this.", ">\n\nEven if it was government funded it would've been like maybe one day of pay at most? Not a ton for the amount of publicity they'll get that might make them even more money.", ">\n\nAssuming they already have the infrastructure pictures I would be surprised if it took more than 4 work hours. Also for chronically underfunded agencies that kind of PR is exactly how you get voters to convince the politicians to increase funds. I look forward to NASA figuring out how to photoshop giant cats playing with the planets like balls of yarn for their calendar", ">\n\n\nI look forward to NASA figuring out how to photoshop giant cats playing with the planets like balls of yarn for their calendar \n\nWell let me introduce you to the most bizarre social media messaging from an official U.S. government agency: The U.S. Consumer Product Safety Commission's Instagram feed. \nAnd before I catch any \"there's no way this is real\" replies, here's the Washington Post covering it: \n\nHow a federal bureaucrat uses astronaut babies and dogs riding pigeons to try to save your life", ">\n\nThis is rad!", ">\n\nCISA losing their shit rn", ">\n\nI would like one.", ">\n\nIt's a free PDF.", ">\n\nNo he would like one of the cats", ">\n\nyOu wOuLdN'T DoWnloAd a cAT", ">\n\nI can’t believe they included Sherlock getting knocked off a cliff. At least he didn’t jump this time.", ">\n\nI'm shocked that you're the only person I've seen comment on this so far! it's hilarious", ">\n\n\"Every year, dozens of cats attack important infrastructure for our country causing dozens of dollars of damage. Won't you help?\"", ">\n\nI heard this with Sarah McLoughlin's voice", ">\n\nArmy Cats", ">\n\nNow do it with pictures of our crumbling infrastructure.", ">\n\nThis seems like one of those things that is somehow going to age poorly given our Universe's current sense of irony. I don't know how exactly, but there's going to be some mass tragedy involving cats and a suspension bridge or something this year.", ">\n\nThe first image kind of reads like \"this infrastructure is super important so don't damage it\". The calendar almost seems like a shopping list for domestic terrorists or something lol.", ">\n\nI mean, pretty obvious that dams, substations, bridges and the like are good targets for chaos. Google maps gives you all this plus Police stations and everything, with photos and the address. Useless to worry about it", ">\n\nSeriously, anyone who unironicly think terrorists were waiting for a cat calendar to list a bunch of locations to bomb is paranoid about the wrong things.", ">\n\nCats would hunt and eat us if they were bigger than us", ">\n\nThey already do, they are called Tigers.", ">\n\nIf there were smaller tigers, we would keep them as pets, but they'd break all our stuff to prove they're still in charge.", ">\n\nThey already do, they are called Cats.", ">\n\nOH MY GOD!", ">\n\nMy tabby is a cute little tiger", ">\n\nI knew we had infrastructure challenges, but I didn't realize we were facing an infrastructure cat-astrophe!", ">\n\nTake my r/angryupvote", ">\n\nI love how shitty the photoshop is. Really ties it all together", ">\n\nYeah I like the idea--but the pictures chosen and color grading are all off. I'd like this idea better executed more professionally.", ">\n\nOh no I'm serious. The unprofessionalism is the best part. I would absolutely pay money for this", ">\n\nOnly only thing weirder is gonna be their crazy ass plan to save the infrastructure.", ">\n\nIt's the engineer Corp, they can build giant cat carriers.", ">\n\nI guess anything beats the 40 million they spend on viagra to keep the soldiers saluting.", ">\n\nThis is delightful", ">\n\ni was imagining mountain lions breaking in to dumpsters or something, not giant house cats gnawing on substations, not disappointed.", ">\n\nI don’t need a calendar now that our pocket rectangles handle all of that for us, but I really want this calendar.", ">\n\nIt is really convenient to just walk by my schedule versus having to pull it up, scroll, click and expand. I tend to forget about things if I don’t see it in front of me, but that’s just how my brain works. Plus if you’re on the phone trying to schedule something it’s nice to write it out too.", ">\n\nI'm sorry, we're already booked for giant spiders.", ">\n\nI personally kinda love this.", ">\n\nBest use of a miniscule amount of our tax dollars in the entire US $1.7T budget. US Army Corp wins the internet today!", ">\n\nHonestly, the entire army corps of engineers may be one of highest rates of return on public good vs funding", ">\n\nSeriously. They do a shit ton of quality and important public work on a relatively shoe-string budget for engineering. I have a lot of respect for the people that work at the USACOE.", ">\n\nSeptember, now that one is art", ">\n\nHaters will say it's Photoshop.", ">\n\nThey’ve never seen Catzilla.", ">\n\nHero of the Week! Hail yourself!", ">\n\nThere it is!", ">\n\n\nThe Army Corps Of Engineers Has Released a 2023 Calendar Of Giant Cats Attacking <\n\nr/brand new sentence \nAlso, giant cats attacking infrastructure is so 2020. In 2023 it just sounds silly.", ">\n\nSeptember ❤️", ">\n\nOmg. I love this. Especially the text blurbs on the pictures. Very funny and adorable!", ">\n\nSounds like they understand cats are required if you want social media traction", ">\n\nI have never wanted to buy a calendar more than I do now!", ">\n\nOn the one hand, I applaud the idea.\nOn the other hand, the photoshop skills look like they came from the army corps of engineers.", ">\n\nWould you actually want them to look like they were perfectly matched to each environment? I'm pretty sure the comedic effect is all that matters here.\nAnd besides, it was just one engineer that created this on their spare time, rather than an official ACE production.", ">\n\nI was mainly being a bit snarky because the internet. That, and what I said was objectively true.", ">\n\nCan confirm, the Corps of Engineers fuckkkkks", ">\n\nGoddammit I just bought my 2023 calendar too lol", ">\n\nThat’s cute though, not worrisome like a lot of other r/nottheonion posts.", ">\n\nAs ever, the Army Corps of Engineers are the one branch of the US state that can get the important shit done", ">\n\nFrom the comments ITT it's evident that most people are unaware of how important they are to the lives of the majority of productive people in this country (people who live near a coastline or a major body of water). It's not just dams and rivers, it's the actual physical coastline of america that they look after.", ">\n\nYup, it seems double edged- people think oh, they're the army corps and assumes they must be doing only military stuff. But equally if it was civilianised no doubt it'd be a target for cuts. An incredible org, regardless. And whether it's cats or weather or warming or the collapse of neglected infrastructure they're going to get more and more important so it's a damn good thing they exist because in 2023, nobody would invent them...", ">\n\nUSACE is an agency that is funded by the DOD but is vastly ran by civilians. There are very few enlisted or commissioned people in the army corps.", ">\n\nOK this is a thing and this is awesome", ">\n\nOops, I had \"Zombie Redneck Torture Family\" in the betting pool.", ">\n\nGrumble. Never gonna see a merman...", ">\n\nUSACE Portland District is one of the absolute best public sector social media presences out there. Seriously. Check it out.", ">\n\nCats in military pictures is an entire IG channel", ">\n\nGood boot", ">\n\nCommand team must be TDY", ">\n\nThat was even better than the title made me think it would be.", ">\n\nI support my tax dollars going to causes such as this.", ">\n\nFinally tax dollars doing something good", ">\n\nI’m kind of disappointed. From the title, I thought there would be photos of actual big cats attacking infrastructure, not photoshopped domestic cats. Anyone have a photo of a puma going after an electrical substation? Or a tiger gnawing on a water line?", ">\n\nNo. No one has that. Would be very interesting though to compile a calendar like that. Peace brother.", ">\n\nGreat, now I need a color printer.\nSeriously, thank you u/radioman8414!", ">\n\nThis is how I want my tax money spent. Downloaded and put up in my office!", ">\n\nThe regional social media guy who put this together is constantly hilarious", ">\n\nGreatest calendar of 2023.", ">\n\nI need one of these for my office! I've worked on some of these dams!", ">\n\nCan I ask you some dam questions?? I’m sure you know a lot of dam information. I’m sure all of us would love some dam stories. Thank you.", ">\n\nSure way to have a more interesting calendar than just infrastructure.", ">\n\nI would so adopt one if they existed.", ">\n\nI've heard army corps of engineers are very difficult to house train. May want to consider before adopting one.", ">\n\nTouché.", ">\n\nThat's amazing, thank you for posting it!", ">\n\nIs there anywhere to buy a nice physical copy of the calendar?", ">\n\nThose cats are mind-controlled by taxoplasmosis alien ameobas!", ">\n\nI was thinking this was gonna be mountain lions taking out maintenance huts or something like that. This is so much better", ">\n\nI’m the daughter of a former Portland, Oregon, US Army Corps Engineer, and I can confirm they are a strange crew. It makes me view the dams on the Columbia River fondly?", ">\n\nI love this so much.", ">\n\nDude. Awesome.", ">\n\nI love this! My astronomy teacher once did a talk on space cats. It was hysterical. Out of the blue he showed us pictures of space with cats added in. He felt we needed a fun class for laughs. I want this calendar.", ">\n\nThis would be really cool if they got a decent digital artist. But they didn't, they used photoshop about as well as I can.", ">\n\nI think that adds to the charm", ">\n\nDon't even need to see it, where can I buy it", ">\n\nFrom the link - \"Because the Army Corps is a Government Agency, the calendar is in public domain and totally free to download and print\"", ">\n\nThis is so funny, because it’s my Dad’s old workplace (from 1971 until he retired). My father, however, has zero sense of humor so he’d never work on something like this.", ">\n\nI met a guy from the Army Corps of Engineers when I worked for the EPA. Smartest guy I've ever met and the 2nd most hippe like person I've ever met. I'd like to think he had something to do with this idea.", ">\n\nFinally the massive military budget of the US is put to good use.", ">\n\nThis is awesome. I might have to buy one.", ">\n\nNo need. It's free, though you have to print it yourself if you want a physical copy", ">\n\nThis is so adorable! I approve wholeheartedly.", ">\n\nIt's about time.", ">\n\nSappers lead the way", ">\n\nI have so much love for this.", ">\n\nEhisssayons.", ">\n\nLove it.", ">\n\nUnintended benefits of relaxed Marijuana policies :)", ">\n\nUsace has not relaxed cannabis policies. No federal agency has", ">\n\nThey certainly have relaxed policy, even though federal law hasn't changed. It's legal in my state and the current administration has announced they won't be pursuing user level Marijuana charges at the federal level.\nWake up.", ">\n\nUSACE still falls under the same policies as the rest of the army. They're treated as DA civilians, and subject to periodic biochemical testing and the resultant consequences if they pee hot. The army has, and will not in the foreseeable future, relax any policy regarding marijuana.", ">\n\nAdorable idea; wish they had hired someone better at photoshop", ">\n\nIts a free gag calendar that was probably just put together by someone for fun in their spare time. Considering the state of infrastructure in the US I don't imagine the Corps of Engineers has a lot of extra spending money to throw around", ">\n\nIf they were smart, they would print it for us and sell it. I don't want a crappy calender that I printed on regular paper, I want the real thing and I would be glad to pay for it.", ">\n\nGenius!! This needs to be a trend. Reddit, make it so...", ">\n\nfuck yeah we finally gonna balance the budget", ">\n\nDecember's hilarious. I want this calender.", ">\n\nYou can totally tell that this is not real. The lighting on the cats is so obviously different than the environmental mistake. Pathetic effort infrastructure geeks.", ">\n\nSo they can blame cats for shoddy workmanship and lax maintenance.", ">\n\nDon't capitalize \"Of\" in titles", ">\n\nWish they'd focus on not taking eight years to permit a fucking project, those lazy excuses for engineers.", ">\n\nYou’re crazy dude. These peeps have built some amazing things. Extremely impressive.", ">\n\nThey used to.", ">\n\n😂", ">\n\nThis whole absurd thing is exactly my sense of humour. LOVE it.", ">\n\nOregon! I've seen the one at Detroit Dam. Sneaky bugger. Hangs out with Bigfoot.", ">\n\nI need this", ">\n\nThat's some adorable terrorism right there.", ">\n\nI remember seeing them, on quad bikes, with a lot of equipment, on Myrtle Beach beaches, I always wondered what they were doing...", ">\n\nI love this sequel to Beginning of the End!", ">\n\nIs there a way I can buy a physical version?", ">\n\nThey're Demo-cats!", ">\n\nAny recommendations of the best way to get this printed semi-professionally? I tried checking Costco photo centre but they make you use a template.", ">\n\nOf course it’s Portland.", ">\n\nKind of disappointing I can't actually buy a printed one. My daughter would love this.", ">\n\nA pretty good idea for a poster. Who doesn't like cats being cats?", ">\n\nI really wish I had become a part of the ACOE but my mother didn't want her only son in the military.", ">\n\nUsace has civilian positions you're employed by the army, but you don't go through basic", ">\n\nI hope they pay more than Nidec.", ">\n\nThanks for sharing! Downloaded and got my new Lock Screen wallpaper.", ">\n\nDecember is 🔥", ">\n\nObligatory Cat Dynamics", ">\n\nPoliticians will say this is the proof of the REAL reason of why our infrastructure is deteriorating, then vote in a measure to hire their friends and family to counter this threat.", ">\n\nI didnt know cats were domestic terrorists like Republicans. lol", ">\n\nThis is the only kind of apocalypse I could see myself getting excited about.", ">\n\nAugust a missed opportunity to have CAT Excavators.", ">\n\nYou have my attention.", ">\n\nSmart move", ">\n\nGod help us.", ">\n\nBest thing to come out of the Army post WWII.", ">\n\n🤔", ">\n\n\"Let's write a two paragraph article about something freely available on the internet and make absolutely no attempt to actually tell you where to find it\".", ">\n\nCatjira!", ">\n\nhilarious!", ">\n\nFinally", ">\n\nThis is the oniony-est story I’ve seen on here in a while", ">\n\nCant wait for the next spending bill to include cat proofing our infrastructure", ">\n\nHonestly… I’d buy it.", ">\n\nWish I would have heard of that in November or so. This seems unique, fun and a great idea for a calendar.", ">\n\nI heard about this from Last Podcast on the Left, glad to see it pop up on my feed with pictures!", ">\n\nI'm gonna need an NSN For that...", ">\n\nOf course it’s the Portland District", ">\n\nHonestly this is worth buying", ">\n\nIm not a cat person, but I would buy the calendar.", ">\n\nAny way to view the album without losing my mind on that website? God it's shit on mobile.", ">\n\nI especially love how June just looks like a well framed optical illusion photo.", ">\n\nThis is cute and all, but man, it seems a little poor in taste that August is a kitty-shaped military drone blowing up an Iraqi preschool", ">\n\nWhat did Oregon do to deserve this", ">\n\nGee I read that and instantly I thought they had done a study and released an estimated calendar of when an where giant cats would attack infrastructure in 2023. Phew.", ">\n\nOn that day, humanity received a grim reminder…", ">\n\nah yes\nPortland keeping it weird again", ">\n\nit’s cute, but who wrote the copy?", ">\n\nAmazing", ">\n\neverything changed when the cat nation attacked", ">\n\nI'm into it", ">\n\nnow this is what I want my tax dollars going towards", ">\n\nI'd love to believe that there was some huge misunderstanding and somewhere someone had actually meant CATs like the company with the big heavy machinery", ">\n\nThe word \"attacking\" is doing a lot of work here", ">\n\nW", ">\n\nLook, I’m pretty anti-government, but this I can get behind", ">\n\nCattack on titan", ">\n\nI'm a civil engineer.\nI would fucking LOVE this.\nThis'll go good in my office next to my other engineering / math punny comics.\nLike this one.\nOr this one.\nOr, maybe this one.", ">\n\nThe Only well spent part of the military budget", ">\n\nI might buy it", ">\n\nWhat the fuck is that website", ">\n\nThis is great!", ">\n\nAugust is great.", ">\n\nNow the real MVP will tell us how to print this like an actual calendar.", ">\n\nThe only thing worthy of my tax dollars that the military has done this year.", ">\n\nOk, now we need a class II space laser pointer to distract the giant cats away from vital infrastructure.", ">\n\nThey all are so good. My favorite is May, then September.", ">\n\nOh... good.", ">\n\nThose paragraphs are hilarious.", ">\n\nNow THIS is news!", ">\n\nCatcatae", ">\n\nThey would, if they could.", ">\n\nOmg yes. Need.", ">\n\n\"attacking\" lol", ">\n\nThere’s a great Twitter user called Giant Military Cats or something like that where the user does much the same. \nSeems like a kind, lonely soul who revels in people thanking them. Give it a look", ">\n\nNot oniony, really… just awesome.", ">\n\nThis is what our tax dollars should be used for", ">\n\nThis is why shit takes forever to get built when the government is involved. Now it all make sense...", ">\n\nI love it, but the cats seemed poorly photoshopped in" ]

[ "Imagine the work order. \nYour boss comes to you and says, \"Hey, you're in charge of the cats calendar.\"\n\"What calendar?\"\n\"The one with cats attacking infrastructure?\"\n\"What?\"", ">\n\nyou miss ONE day...", ">\n\nHail Vectron!", ">\n\nBy Vectron!", ">\n\nFor those yet to experience the holy might of Vectron's kindly claw", ">\n\nThank you. I had no idea.", ">\n\nYou are most welcome by Vectron", ">\n\nFor the love of all that is Vectron, your speech warms my Vectronic heart.", ">\n\nMay Vectron’s beard shed its benevolence upon us. 🙏🏻🙏🏻", ">\n\nAnd may all of his correspondence to us be sent Vectronically. So it is written, so shall it be done.", ">\n\nI live in Oregon and started to recognize a bunch of the dams, so I was like, “huh, that’s kinda cool.” Then I saw the text at the bottom of the first page. Portland District. Now a cat calendar makes perfect sense.", ">\n\nSame thing happened to me. I think I'm going to head to kinko's and have them print it out for me.", ">\n\nTell them you need to print some important official military documents before you show them what it is", ">\n\nDon’t forget to tell them you need it right meow!", ">\n\nWho will protect our infrastructure from this menace?", ">\n\nAn array of laser pointers.", ">\n\ncut to giant laser pointer satellite", ">\n\nomigod the jewish space lasers were real", ">\n\n*meowish space lasers", ">\n\nHey that's racist", ">\n\nI think it would be cheaper to buy a calendar than use the ink/toner required to print it.", ">\n\nThat's why you print it at work.", ">\n\nhaha true, oh wait I work from home...", ">\n\nIf you print from home for work you can write printer supplies off on your taxes :)", ">\n\nUh yes boss I needed a calendar, so… oh what? Use the company one? Ummm but the US army has a really nice one and I thought I’d be patriotic - what? Oh, yeah I know we’re in Canada, I just…", ">\n\nPortland is pretty much wannabe Vancouver, BC. I say it goes!", ">\n\nExactly what a Canadian would say...", ">\n\nGoodies, goodie goodie, yum yum.", ">\n\nI just scrolled until I found The Goodies reference but was wondering if I was going to find one at all.", ">\n\nIt's way down the list, isn't it? \n/knees hurt.", ">\n\nOw, my back! Get off my lawn!", ">\n\nOne engineer did it in his free time, and released it for use through the corps. \nThis was NOT government funded.", ">\n\nEven if it was government funded, I support this.", ">\n\nEven if it was government funded it would've been like maybe one day of pay at most? Not a ton for the amount of publicity they'll get that might make them even more money.", ">\n\nAssuming they already have the infrastructure pictures I would be surprised if it took more than 4 work hours. Also for chronically underfunded agencies that kind of PR is exactly how you get voters to convince the politicians to increase funds. I look forward to NASA figuring out how to photoshop giant cats playing with the planets like balls of yarn for their calendar", ">\n\n\nI look forward to NASA figuring out how to photoshop giant cats playing with the planets like balls of yarn for their calendar \n\nWell let me introduce you to the most bizarre social media messaging from an official U.S. government agency: The U.S. Consumer Product Safety Commission's Instagram feed. \nAnd before I catch any \"there's no way this is real\" replies, here's the Washington Post covering it: \n\nHow a federal bureaucrat uses astronaut babies and dogs riding pigeons to try to save your life", ">\n\nThis is rad!", ">\n\nCISA losing their shit rn", ">\n\nI would like one.", ">\n\nIt's a free PDF.", ">\n\nNo he would like one of the cats", ">\n\nyOu wOuLdN'T DoWnloAd a cAT", ">\n\nI can’t believe they included Sherlock getting knocked off a cliff. At least he didn’t jump this time.", ">\n\nI'm shocked that you're the only person I've seen comment on this so far! it's hilarious", ">\n\n\"Every year, dozens of cats attack important infrastructure for our country causing dozens of dollars of damage. Won't you help?\"", ">\n\nI heard this with Sarah McLoughlin's voice", ">\n\nArmy Cats", ">\n\nNow do it with pictures of our crumbling infrastructure.", ">\n\nThis seems like one of those things that is somehow going to age poorly given our Universe's current sense of irony. I don't know how exactly, but there's going to be some mass tragedy involving cats and a suspension bridge or something this year.", ">\n\nThe first image kind of reads like \"this infrastructure is super important so don't damage it\". The calendar almost seems like a shopping list for domestic terrorists or something lol.", ">\n\nI mean, pretty obvious that dams, substations, bridges and the like are good targets for chaos. Google maps gives you all this plus Police stations and everything, with photos and the address. Useless to worry about it", ">\n\nSeriously, anyone who unironicly think terrorists were waiting for a cat calendar to list a bunch of locations to bomb is paranoid about the wrong things.", ">\n\nCats would hunt and eat us if they were bigger than us", ">\n\nThey already do, they are called Tigers.", ">\n\nIf there were smaller tigers, we would keep them as pets, but they'd break all our stuff to prove they're still in charge.", ">\n\nThey already do, they are called Cats.", ">\n\nOH MY GOD!", ">\n\nMy tabby is a cute little tiger", ">\n\nI knew we had infrastructure challenges, but I didn't realize we were facing an infrastructure cat-astrophe!", ">\n\nTake my r/angryupvote", ">\n\nI love how shitty the photoshop is. Really ties it all together", ">\n\nYeah I like the idea--but the pictures chosen and color grading are all off. I'd like this idea better executed more professionally.", ">\n\nOh no I'm serious. The unprofessionalism is the best part. I would absolutely pay money for this", ">\n\nOnly only thing weirder is gonna be their crazy ass plan to save the infrastructure.", ">\n\nIt's the engineer Corp, they can build giant cat carriers.", ">\n\nI guess anything beats the 40 million they spend on viagra to keep the soldiers saluting.", ">\n\nThis is delightful", ">\n\ni was imagining mountain lions breaking in to dumpsters or something, not giant house cats gnawing on substations, not disappointed.", ">\n\nI don’t need a calendar now that our pocket rectangles handle all of that for us, but I really want this calendar.", ">\n\nIt is really convenient to just walk by my schedule versus having to pull it up, scroll, click and expand. I tend to forget about things if I don’t see it in front of me, but that’s just how my brain works. Plus if you’re on the phone trying to schedule something it’s nice to write it out too.", ">\n\nI'm sorry, we're already booked for giant spiders.", ">\n\nI personally kinda love this.", ">\n\nBest use of a miniscule amount of our tax dollars in the entire US $1.7T budget. US Army Corp wins the internet today!", ">\n\nHonestly, the entire army corps of engineers may be one of highest rates of return on public good vs funding", ">\n\nSeriously. They do a shit ton of quality and important public work on a relatively shoe-string budget for engineering. I have a lot of respect for the people that work at the USACOE.", ">\n\nSeptember, now that one is art", ">\n\nHaters will say it's Photoshop.", ">\n\nThey’ve never seen Catzilla.", ">\n\nHero of the Week! Hail yourself!", ">\n\nThere it is!", ">\n\n\nThe Army Corps Of Engineers Has Released a 2023 Calendar Of Giant Cats Attacking <\n\nr/brand new sentence \nAlso, giant cats attacking infrastructure is so 2020. In 2023 it just sounds silly.", ">\n\nSeptember ❤️", ">\n\nOmg. I love this. Especially the text blurbs on the pictures. Very funny and adorable!", ">\n\nSounds like they understand cats are required if you want social media traction", ">\n\nI have never wanted to buy a calendar more than I do now!", ">\n\nOn the one hand, I applaud the idea.\nOn the other hand, the photoshop skills look like they came from the army corps of engineers.", ">\n\nWould you actually want them to look like they were perfectly matched to each environment? I'm pretty sure the comedic effect is all that matters here.\nAnd besides, it was just one engineer that created this on their spare time, rather than an official ACE production.", ">\n\nI was mainly being a bit snarky because the internet. That, and what I said was objectively true.", ">\n\nCan confirm, the Corps of Engineers fuckkkkks", ">\n\nGoddammit I just bought my 2023 calendar too lol", ">\n\nThat’s cute though, not worrisome like a lot of other r/nottheonion posts.", ">\n\nAs ever, the Army Corps of Engineers are the one branch of the US state that can get the important shit done", ">\n\nFrom the comments ITT it's evident that most people are unaware of how important they are to the lives of the majority of productive people in this country (people who live near a coastline or a major body of water). It's not just dams and rivers, it's the actual physical coastline of america that they look after.", ">\n\nYup, it seems double edged- people think oh, they're the army corps and assumes they must be doing only military stuff. But equally if it was civilianised no doubt it'd be a target for cuts. An incredible org, regardless. And whether it's cats or weather or warming or the collapse of neglected infrastructure they're going to get more and more important so it's a damn good thing they exist because in 2023, nobody would invent them...", ">\n\nUSACE is an agency that is funded by the DOD but is vastly ran by civilians. There are very few enlisted or commissioned people in the army corps.", ">\n\nOK this is a thing and this is awesome", ">\n\nOops, I had \"Zombie Redneck Torture Family\" in the betting pool.", ">\n\nGrumble. Never gonna see a merman...", ">\n\nUSACE Portland District is one of the absolute best public sector social media presences out there. Seriously. Check it out.", ">\n\nCats in military pictures is an entire IG channel", ">\n\nGood boot", ">\n\nCommand team must be TDY", ">\n\nThat was even better than the title made me think it would be.", ">\n\nI support my tax dollars going to causes such as this.", ">\n\nFinally tax dollars doing something good", ">\n\nI’m kind of disappointed. From the title, I thought there would be photos of actual big cats attacking infrastructure, not photoshopped domestic cats. Anyone have a photo of a puma going after an electrical substation? Or a tiger gnawing on a water line?", ">\n\nNo. No one has that. Would be very interesting though to compile a calendar like that. Peace brother.", ">\n\nGreat, now I need a color printer.\nSeriously, thank you u/radioman8414!", ">\n\nThis is how I want my tax money spent. Downloaded and put up in my office!", ">\n\nThe regional social media guy who put this together is constantly hilarious", ">\n\nGreatest calendar of 2023.", ">\n\nI need one of these for my office! I've worked on some of these dams!", ">\n\nCan I ask you some dam questions?? I’m sure you know a lot of dam information. I’m sure all of us would love some dam stories. Thank you.", ">\n\nSure way to have a more interesting calendar than just infrastructure.", ">\n\nI would so adopt one if they existed.", ">\n\nI've heard army corps of engineers are very difficult to house train. May want to consider before adopting one.", ">\n\nTouché.", ">\n\nThat's amazing, thank you for posting it!", ">\n\nIs there anywhere to buy a nice physical copy of the calendar?", ">\n\nThose cats are mind-controlled by taxoplasmosis alien ameobas!", ">\n\nI was thinking this was gonna be mountain lions taking out maintenance huts or something like that. This is so much better", ">\n\nI’m the daughter of a former Portland, Oregon, US Army Corps Engineer, and I can confirm they are a strange crew. It makes me view the dams on the Columbia River fondly?", ">\n\nI love this so much.", ">\n\nDude. Awesome.", ">\n\nI love this! My astronomy teacher once did a talk on space cats. It was hysterical. Out of the blue he showed us pictures of space with cats added in. He felt we needed a fun class for laughs. I want this calendar.", ">\n\nThis would be really cool if they got a decent digital artist. But they didn't, they used photoshop about as well as I can.", ">\n\nI think that adds to the charm", ">\n\nDon't even need to see it, where can I buy it", ">\n\nFrom the link - \"Because the Army Corps is a Government Agency, the calendar is in public domain and totally free to download and print\"", ">\n\nThis is so funny, because it’s my Dad’s old workplace (from 1971 until he retired). My father, however, has zero sense of humor so he’d never work on something like this.", ">\n\nI met a guy from the Army Corps of Engineers when I worked for the EPA. Smartest guy I've ever met and the 2nd most hippe like person I've ever met. I'd like to think he had something to do with this idea.", ">\n\nFinally the massive military budget of the US is put to good use.", ">\n\nThis is awesome. I might have to buy one.", ">\n\nNo need. It's free, though you have to print it yourself if you want a physical copy", ">\n\nThis is so adorable! I approve wholeheartedly.", ">\n\nIt's about time.", ">\n\nSappers lead the way", ">\n\nI have so much love for this.", ">\n\nEhisssayons.", ">\n\nLove it.", ">\n\nUnintended benefits of relaxed Marijuana policies :)", ">\n\nUsace has not relaxed cannabis policies. No federal agency has", ">\n\nThey certainly have relaxed policy, even though federal law hasn't changed. It's legal in my state and the current administration has announced they won't be pursuing user level Marijuana charges at the federal level.\nWake up.", ">\n\nUSACE still falls under the same policies as the rest of the army. They're treated as DA civilians, and subject to periodic biochemical testing and the resultant consequences if they pee hot. The army has, and will not in the foreseeable future, relax any policy regarding marijuana.", ">\n\nAdorable idea; wish they had hired someone better at photoshop", ">\n\nIts a free gag calendar that was probably just put together by someone for fun in their spare time. Considering the state of infrastructure in the US I don't imagine the Corps of Engineers has a lot of extra spending money to throw around", ">\n\nIf they were smart, they would print it for us and sell it. I don't want a crappy calender that I printed on regular paper, I want the real thing and I would be glad to pay for it.", ">\n\nGenius!! This needs to be a trend. Reddit, make it so...", ">\n\nfuck yeah we finally gonna balance the budget", ">\n\nDecember's hilarious. I want this calender.", ">\n\nYou can totally tell that this is not real. The lighting on the cats is so obviously different than the environmental mistake. Pathetic effort infrastructure geeks.", ">\n\nSo they can blame cats for shoddy workmanship and lax maintenance.", ">\n\nDon't capitalize \"Of\" in titles", ">\n\nWish they'd focus on not taking eight years to permit a fucking project, those lazy excuses for engineers.", ">\n\nYou’re crazy dude. These peeps have built some amazing things. Extremely impressive.", ">\n\nThey used to.", ">\n\n😂", ">\n\nThis whole absurd thing is exactly my sense of humour. LOVE it.", ">\n\nOregon! I've seen the one at Detroit Dam. Sneaky bugger. Hangs out with Bigfoot.", ">\n\nI need this", ">\n\nThat's some adorable terrorism right there.", ">\n\nI remember seeing them, on quad bikes, with a lot of equipment, on Myrtle Beach beaches, I always wondered what they were doing...", ">\n\nI love this sequel to Beginning of the End!", ">\n\nIs there a way I can buy a physical version?", ">\n\nThey're Demo-cats!", ">\n\nAny recommendations of the best way to get this printed semi-professionally? I tried checking Costco photo centre but they make you use a template.", ">\n\nOf course it’s Portland.", ">\n\nKind of disappointing I can't actually buy a printed one. My daughter would love this.", ">\n\nA pretty good idea for a poster. Who doesn't like cats being cats?", ">\n\nI really wish I had become a part of the ACOE but my mother didn't want her only son in the military.", ">\n\nUsace has civilian positions you're employed by the army, but you don't go through basic", ">\n\nI hope they pay more than Nidec.", ">\n\nThanks for sharing! Downloaded and got my new Lock Screen wallpaper.", ">\n\nDecember is 🔥", ">\n\nObligatory Cat Dynamics", ">\n\nPoliticians will say this is the proof of the REAL reason of why our infrastructure is deteriorating, then vote in a measure to hire their friends and family to counter this threat.", ">\n\nI didnt know cats were domestic terrorists like Republicans. lol", ">\n\nThis is the only kind of apocalypse I could see myself getting excited about.", ">\n\nAugust a missed opportunity to have CAT Excavators.", ">\n\nYou have my attention.", ">\n\nSmart move", ">\n\nGod help us.", ">\n\nBest thing to come out of the Army post WWII.", ">\n\n🤔", ">\n\n\"Let's write a two paragraph article about something freely available on the internet and make absolutely no attempt to actually tell you where to find it\".", ">\n\nCatjira!", ">\n\nhilarious!", ">\n\nFinally", ">\n\nThis is the oniony-est story I’ve seen on here in a while", ">\n\nCant wait for the next spending bill to include cat proofing our infrastructure", ">\n\nHonestly… I’d buy it.", ">\n\nWish I would have heard of that in November or so. This seems unique, fun and a great idea for a calendar.", ">\n\nI heard about this from Last Podcast on the Left, glad to see it pop up on my feed with pictures!", ">\n\nI'm gonna need an NSN For that...", ">\n\nOf course it’s the Portland District", ">\n\nHonestly this is worth buying", ">\n\nIm not a cat person, but I would buy the calendar.", ">\n\nAny way to view the album without losing my mind on that website? God it's shit on mobile.", ">\n\nI especially love how June just looks like a well framed optical illusion photo.", ">\n\nThis is cute and all, but man, it seems a little poor in taste that August is a kitty-shaped military drone blowing up an Iraqi preschool", ">\n\nWhat did Oregon do to deserve this", ">\n\nGee I read that and instantly I thought they had done a study and released an estimated calendar of when an where giant cats would attack infrastructure in 2023. Phew.", ">\n\nOn that day, humanity received a grim reminder…", ">\n\nah yes\nPortland keeping it weird again", ">\n\nit’s cute, but who wrote the copy?", ">\n\nAmazing", ">\n\neverything changed when the cat nation attacked", ">\n\nI'm into it", ">\n\nnow this is what I want my tax dollars going towards", ">\n\nI'd love to believe that there was some huge misunderstanding and somewhere someone had actually meant CATs like the company with the big heavy machinery", ">\n\nThe word \"attacking\" is doing a lot of work here", ">\n\nW", ">\n\nLook, I’m pretty anti-government, but this I can get behind", ">\n\nCattack on titan", ">\n\nI'm a civil engineer.\nI would fucking LOVE this.\nThis'll go good in my office next to my other engineering / math punny comics.\nLike this one.\nOr this one.\nOr, maybe this one.", ">\n\nThe Only well spent part of the military budget", ">\n\nI might buy it", ">\n\nWhat the fuck is that website", ">\n\nThis is great!", ">\n\nAugust is great.", ">\n\nNow the real MVP will tell us how to print this like an actual calendar.", ">\n\nThe only thing worthy of my tax dollars that the military has done this year.", ">\n\nOk, now we need a class II space laser pointer to distract the giant cats away from vital infrastructure.", ">\n\nThey all are so good. My favorite is May, then September.", ">\n\nOh... good.", ">\n\nThose paragraphs are hilarious.", ">\n\nNow THIS is news!", ">\n\nCatcatae", ">\n\nThey would, if they could.", ">\n\nOmg yes. Need.", ">\n\n\"attacking\" lol", ">\n\nThere’s a great Twitter user called Giant Military Cats or something like that where the user does much the same. \nSeems like a kind, lonely soul who revels in people thanking them. Give it a look", ">\n\nNot oniony, really… just awesome.", ">\n\nThis is what our tax dollars should be used for", ">\n\nThis is why shit takes forever to get built when the government is involved. Now it all make sense...", ">\n\nI love it, but the cats seemed poorly photoshopped in", ">\n\nThey're engineers, not graphic artists." ]

[ "Imagine the work order. \nYour boss comes to you and says, \"Hey, you're in charge of the cats calendar.\"\n\"What calendar?\"\n\"The one with cats attacking infrastructure?\"\n\"What?\"", ">\n\nyou miss ONE day...", ">\n\nHail Vectron!", ">\n\nBy Vectron!", ">\n\nFor those yet to experience the holy might of Vectron's kindly claw", ">\n\nThank you. I had no idea.", ">\n\nYou are most welcome by Vectron", ">\n\nFor the love of all that is Vectron, your speech warms my Vectronic heart.", ">\n\nMay Vectron’s beard shed its benevolence upon us. 🙏🏻🙏🏻", ">\n\nAnd may all of his correspondence to us be sent Vectronically. So it is written, so shall it be done.", ">\n\nI live in Oregon and started to recognize a bunch of the dams, so I was like, “huh, that’s kinda cool.” Then I saw the text at the bottom of the first page. Portland District. Now a cat calendar makes perfect sense.", ">\n\nSame thing happened to me. I think I'm going to head to kinko's and have them print it out for me.", ">\n\nTell them you need to print some important official military documents before you show them what it is", ">\n\nDon’t forget to tell them you need it right meow!", ">\n\nWho will protect our infrastructure from this menace?", ">\n\nAn array of laser pointers.", ">\n\ncut to giant laser pointer satellite", ">\n\nomigod the jewish space lasers were real", ">\n\n*meowish space lasers", ">\n\nHey that's racist", ">\n\nI think it would be cheaper to buy a calendar than use the ink/toner required to print it.", ">\n\nThat's why you print it at work.", ">\n\nhaha true, oh wait I work from home...", ">\n\nIf you print from home for work you can write printer supplies off on your taxes :)", ">\n\nUh yes boss I needed a calendar, so… oh what? Use the company one? Ummm but the US army has a really nice one and I thought I’d be patriotic - what? Oh, yeah I know we’re in Canada, I just…", ">\n\nPortland is pretty much wannabe Vancouver, BC. I say it goes!", ">\n\nExactly what a Canadian would say...", ">\n\nGoodies, goodie goodie, yum yum.", ">\n\nI just scrolled until I found The Goodies reference but was wondering if I was going to find one at all.", ">\n\nIt's way down the list, isn't it? \n/knees hurt.", ">\n\nOw, my back! Get off my lawn!", ">\n\nOne engineer did it in his free time, and released it for use through the corps. \nThis was NOT government funded.", ">\n\nEven if it was government funded, I support this.", ">\n\nEven if it was government funded it would've been like maybe one day of pay at most? Not a ton for the amount of publicity they'll get that might make them even more money.", ">\n\nAssuming they already have the infrastructure pictures I would be surprised if it took more than 4 work hours. Also for chronically underfunded agencies that kind of PR is exactly how you get voters to convince the politicians to increase funds. I look forward to NASA figuring out how to photoshop giant cats playing with the planets like balls of yarn for their calendar", ">\n\n\nI look forward to NASA figuring out how to photoshop giant cats playing with the planets like balls of yarn for their calendar \n\nWell let me introduce you to the most bizarre social media messaging from an official U.S. government agency: The U.S. Consumer Product Safety Commission's Instagram feed. \nAnd before I catch any \"there's no way this is real\" replies, here's the Washington Post covering it: \n\nHow a federal bureaucrat uses astronaut babies and dogs riding pigeons to try to save your life", ">\n\nThis is rad!", ">\n\nCISA losing their shit rn", ">\n\nI would like one.", ">\n\nIt's a free PDF.", ">\n\nNo he would like one of the cats", ">\n\nyOu wOuLdN'T DoWnloAd a cAT", ">\n\nI can’t believe they included Sherlock getting knocked off a cliff. At least he didn’t jump this time.", ">\n\nI'm shocked that you're the only person I've seen comment on this so far! it's hilarious", ">\n\n\"Every year, dozens of cats attack important infrastructure for our country causing dozens of dollars of damage. Won't you help?\"", ">\n\nI heard this with Sarah McLoughlin's voice", ">\n\nArmy Cats", ">\n\nNow do it with pictures of our crumbling infrastructure.", ">\n\nThis seems like one of those things that is somehow going to age poorly given our Universe's current sense of irony. I don't know how exactly, but there's going to be some mass tragedy involving cats and a suspension bridge or something this year.", ">\n\nThe first image kind of reads like \"this infrastructure is super important so don't damage it\". The calendar almost seems like a shopping list for domestic terrorists or something lol.", ">\n\nI mean, pretty obvious that dams, substations, bridges and the like are good targets for chaos. Google maps gives you all this plus Police stations and everything, with photos and the address. Useless to worry about it", ">\n\nSeriously, anyone who unironicly think terrorists were waiting for a cat calendar to list a bunch of locations to bomb is paranoid about the wrong things.", ">\n\nCats would hunt and eat us if they were bigger than us", ">\n\nThey already do, they are called Tigers.", ">\n\nIf there were smaller tigers, we would keep them as pets, but they'd break all our stuff to prove they're still in charge.", ">\n\nThey already do, they are called Cats.", ">\n\nOH MY GOD!", ">\n\nMy tabby is a cute little tiger", ">\n\nI knew we had infrastructure challenges, but I didn't realize we were facing an infrastructure cat-astrophe!", ">\n\nTake my r/angryupvote", ">\n\nI love how shitty the photoshop is. Really ties it all together", ">\n\nYeah I like the idea--but the pictures chosen and color grading are all off. I'd like this idea better executed more professionally.", ">\n\nOh no I'm serious. The unprofessionalism is the best part. I would absolutely pay money for this", ">\n\nOnly only thing weirder is gonna be their crazy ass plan to save the infrastructure.", ">\n\nIt's the engineer Corp, they can build giant cat carriers.", ">\n\nI guess anything beats the 40 million they spend on viagra to keep the soldiers saluting.", ">\n\nThis is delightful", ">\n\ni was imagining mountain lions breaking in to dumpsters or something, not giant house cats gnawing on substations, not disappointed.", ">\n\nI don’t need a calendar now that our pocket rectangles handle all of that for us, but I really want this calendar.", ">\n\nIt is really convenient to just walk by my schedule versus having to pull it up, scroll, click and expand. I tend to forget about things if I don’t see it in front of me, but that’s just how my brain works. Plus if you’re on the phone trying to schedule something it’s nice to write it out too.", ">\n\nI'm sorry, we're already booked for giant spiders.", ">\n\nI personally kinda love this.", ">\n\nBest use of a miniscule amount of our tax dollars in the entire US $1.7T budget. US Army Corp wins the internet today!", ">\n\nHonestly, the entire army corps of engineers may be one of highest rates of return on public good vs funding", ">\n\nSeriously. They do a shit ton of quality and important public work on a relatively shoe-string budget for engineering. I have a lot of respect for the people that work at the USACOE.", ">\n\nSeptember, now that one is art", ">\n\nHaters will say it's Photoshop.", ">\n\nThey’ve never seen Catzilla.", ">\n\nHero of the Week! Hail yourself!", ">\n\nThere it is!", ">\n\n\nThe Army Corps Of Engineers Has Released a 2023 Calendar Of Giant Cats Attacking <\n\nr/brand new sentence \nAlso, giant cats attacking infrastructure is so 2020. In 2023 it just sounds silly.", ">\n\nSeptember ❤️", ">\n\nOmg. I love this. Especially the text blurbs on the pictures. Very funny and adorable!", ">\n\nSounds like they understand cats are required if you want social media traction", ">\n\nI have never wanted to buy a calendar more than I do now!", ">\n\nOn the one hand, I applaud the idea.\nOn the other hand, the photoshop skills look like they came from the army corps of engineers.", ">\n\nWould you actually want them to look like they were perfectly matched to each environment? I'm pretty sure the comedic effect is all that matters here.\nAnd besides, it was just one engineer that created this on their spare time, rather than an official ACE production.", ">\n\nI was mainly being a bit snarky because the internet. That, and what I said was objectively true.", ">\n\nCan confirm, the Corps of Engineers fuckkkkks", ">\n\nGoddammit I just bought my 2023 calendar too lol", ">\n\nThat’s cute though, not worrisome like a lot of other r/nottheonion posts.", ">\n\nAs ever, the Army Corps of Engineers are the one branch of the US state that can get the important shit done", ">\n\nFrom the comments ITT it's evident that most people are unaware of how important they are to the lives of the majority of productive people in this country (people who live near a coastline or a major body of water). It's not just dams and rivers, it's the actual physical coastline of america that they look after.", ">\n\nYup, it seems double edged- people think oh, they're the army corps and assumes they must be doing only military stuff. But equally if it was civilianised no doubt it'd be a target for cuts. An incredible org, regardless. And whether it's cats or weather or warming or the collapse of neglected infrastructure they're going to get more and more important so it's a damn good thing they exist because in 2023, nobody would invent them...", ">\n\nUSACE is an agency that is funded by the DOD but is vastly ran by civilians. There are very few enlisted or commissioned people in the army corps.", ">\n\nOK this is a thing and this is awesome", ">\n\nOops, I had \"Zombie Redneck Torture Family\" in the betting pool.", ">\n\nGrumble. Never gonna see a merman...", ">\n\nUSACE Portland District is one of the absolute best public sector social media presences out there. Seriously. Check it out.", ">\n\nCats in military pictures is an entire IG channel", ">\n\nGood boot", ">\n\nCommand team must be TDY", ">\n\nThat was even better than the title made me think it would be.", ">\n\nI support my tax dollars going to causes such as this.", ">\n\nFinally tax dollars doing something good", ">\n\nI’m kind of disappointed. From the title, I thought there would be photos of actual big cats attacking infrastructure, not photoshopped domestic cats. Anyone have a photo of a puma going after an electrical substation? Or a tiger gnawing on a water line?", ">\n\nNo. No one has that. Would be very interesting though to compile a calendar like that. Peace brother.", ">\n\nGreat, now I need a color printer.\nSeriously, thank you u/radioman8414!", ">\n\nThis is how I want my tax money spent. Downloaded and put up in my office!", ">\n\nThe regional social media guy who put this together is constantly hilarious", ">\n\nGreatest calendar of 2023.", ">\n\nI need one of these for my office! I've worked on some of these dams!", ">\n\nCan I ask you some dam questions?? I’m sure you know a lot of dam information. I’m sure all of us would love some dam stories. Thank you.", ">\n\nSure way to have a more interesting calendar than just infrastructure.", ">\n\nI would so adopt one if they existed.", ">\n\nI've heard army corps of engineers are very difficult to house train. May want to consider before adopting one.", ">\n\nTouché.", ">\n\nThat's amazing, thank you for posting it!", ">\n\nIs there anywhere to buy a nice physical copy of the calendar?", ">\n\nThose cats are mind-controlled by taxoplasmosis alien ameobas!", ">\n\nI was thinking this was gonna be mountain lions taking out maintenance huts or something like that. This is so much better", ">\n\nI’m the daughter of a former Portland, Oregon, US Army Corps Engineer, and I can confirm they are a strange crew. It makes me view the dams on the Columbia River fondly?", ">\n\nI love this so much.", ">\n\nDude. Awesome.", ">\n\nI love this! My astronomy teacher once did a talk on space cats. It was hysterical. Out of the blue he showed us pictures of space with cats added in. He felt we needed a fun class for laughs. I want this calendar.", ">\n\nThis would be really cool if they got a decent digital artist. But they didn't, they used photoshop about as well as I can.", ">\n\nI think that adds to the charm", ">\n\nDon't even need to see it, where can I buy it", ">\n\nFrom the link - \"Because the Army Corps is a Government Agency, the calendar is in public domain and totally free to download and print\"", ">\n\nThis is so funny, because it’s my Dad’s old workplace (from 1971 until he retired). My father, however, has zero sense of humor so he’d never work on something like this.", ">\n\nI met a guy from the Army Corps of Engineers when I worked for the EPA. Smartest guy I've ever met and the 2nd most hippe like person I've ever met. I'd like to think he had something to do with this idea.", ">\n\nFinally the massive military budget of the US is put to good use.", ">\n\nThis is awesome. I might have to buy one.", ">\n\nNo need. It's free, though you have to print it yourself if you want a physical copy", ">\n\nThis is so adorable! I approve wholeheartedly.", ">\n\nIt's about time.", ">\n\nSappers lead the way", ">\n\nI have so much love for this.", ">\n\nEhisssayons.", ">\n\nLove it.", ">\n\nUnintended benefits of relaxed Marijuana policies :)", ">\n\nUsace has not relaxed cannabis policies. No federal agency has", ">\n\nThey certainly have relaxed policy, even though federal law hasn't changed. It's legal in my state and the current administration has announced they won't be pursuing user level Marijuana charges at the federal level.\nWake up.", ">\n\nUSACE still falls under the same policies as the rest of the army. They're treated as DA civilians, and subject to periodic biochemical testing and the resultant consequences if they pee hot. The army has, and will not in the foreseeable future, relax any policy regarding marijuana.", ">\n\nAdorable idea; wish they had hired someone better at photoshop", ">\n\nIts a free gag calendar that was probably just put together by someone for fun in their spare time. Considering the state of infrastructure in the US I don't imagine the Corps of Engineers has a lot of extra spending money to throw around", ">\n\nIf they were smart, they would print it for us and sell it. I don't want a crappy calender that I printed on regular paper, I want the real thing and I would be glad to pay for it.", ">\n\nGenius!! This needs to be a trend. Reddit, make it so...", ">\n\nfuck yeah we finally gonna balance the budget", ">\n\nDecember's hilarious. I want this calender.", ">\n\nYou can totally tell that this is not real. The lighting on the cats is so obviously different than the environmental mistake. Pathetic effort infrastructure geeks.", ">\n\nSo they can blame cats for shoddy workmanship and lax maintenance.", ">\n\nDon't capitalize \"Of\" in titles", ">\n\nWish they'd focus on not taking eight years to permit a fucking project, those lazy excuses for engineers.", ">\n\nYou’re crazy dude. These peeps have built some amazing things. Extremely impressive.", ">\n\nThey used to.", ">\n\n😂", ">\n\nThis whole absurd thing is exactly my sense of humour. LOVE it.", ">\n\nOregon! I've seen the one at Detroit Dam. Sneaky bugger. Hangs out with Bigfoot.", ">\n\nI need this", ">\n\nThat's some adorable terrorism right there.", ">\n\nI remember seeing them, on quad bikes, with a lot of equipment, on Myrtle Beach beaches, I always wondered what they were doing...", ">\n\nI love this sequel to Beginning of the End!", ">\n\nIs there a way I can buy a physical version?", ">\n\nThey're Demo-cats!", ">\n\nAny recommendations of the best way to get this printed semi-professionally? I tried checking Costco photo centre but they make you use a template.", ">\n\nOf course it’s Portland.", ">\n\nKind of disappointing I can't actually buy a printed one. My daughter would love this.", ">\n\nA pretty good idea for a poster. Who doesn't like cats being cats?", ">\n\nI really wish I had become a part of the ACOE but my mother didn't want her only son in the military.", ">\n\nUsace has civilian positions you're employed by the army, but you don't go through basic", ">\n\nI hope they pay more than Nidec.", ">\n\nThanks for sharing! Downloaded and got my new Lock Screen wallpaper.", ">\n\nDecember is 🔥", ">\n\nObligatory Cat Dynamics", ">\n\nPoliticians will say this is the proof of the REAL reason of why our infrastructure is deteriorating, then vote in a measure to hire their friends and family to counter this threat.", ">\n\nI didnt know cats were domestic terrorists like Republicans. lol", ">\n\nThis is the only kind of apocalypse I could see myself getting excited about.", ">\n\nAugust a missed opportunity to have CAT Excavators.", ">\n\nYou have my attention.", ">\n\nSmart move", ">\n\nGod help us.", ">\n\nBest thing to come out of the Army post WWII.", ">\n\n🤔", ">\n\n\"Let's write a two paragraph article about something freely available on the internet and make absolutely no attempt to actually tell you where to find it\".", ">\n\nCatjira!", ">\n\nhilarious!", ">\n\nFinally", ">\n\nThis is the oniony-est story I’ve seen on here in a while", ">\n\nCant wait for the next spending bill to include cat proofing our infrastructure", ">\n\nHonestly… I’d buy it.", ">\n\nWish I would have heard of that in November or so. This seems unique, fun and a great idea for a calendar.", ">\n\nI heard about this from Last Podcast on the Left, glad to see it pop up on my feed with pictures!", ">\n\nI'm gonna need an NSN For that...", ">\n\nOf course it’s the Portland District", ">\n\nHonestly this is worth buying", ">\n\nIm not a cat person, but I would buy the calendar.", ">\n\nAny way to view the album without losing my mind on that website? God it's shit on mobile.", ">\n\nI especially love how June just looks like a well framed optical illusion photo.", ">\n\nThis is cute and all, but man, it seems a little poor in taste that August is a kitty-shaped military drone blowing up an Iraqi preschool", ">\n\nWhat did Oregon do to deserve this", ">\n\nGee I read that and instantly I thought they had done a study and released an estimated calendar of when an where giant cats would attack infrastructure in 2023. Phew.", ">\n\nOn that day, humanity received a grim reminder…", ">\n\nah yes\nPortland keeping it weird again", ">\n\nit’s cute, but who wrote the copy?", ">\n\nAmazing", ">\n\neverything changed when the cat nation attacked", ">\n\nI'm into it", ">\n\nnow this is what I want my tax dollars going towards", ">\n\nI'd love to believe that there was some huge misunderstanding and somewhere someone had actually meant CATs like the company with the big heavy machinery", ">\n\nThe word \"attacking\" is doing a lot of work here", ">\n\nW", ">\n\nLook, I’m pretty anti-government, but this I can get behind", ">\n\nCattack on titan", ">\n\nI'm a civil engineer.\nI would fucking LOVE this.\nThis'll go good in my office next to my other engineering / math punny comics.\nLike this one.\nOr this one.\nOr, maybe this one.", ">\n\nThe Only well spent part of the military budget", ">\n\nI might buy it", ">\n\nWhat the fuck is that website", ">\n\nThis is great!", ">\n\nAugust is great.", ">\n\nNow the real MVP will tell us how to print this like an actual calendar.", ">\n\nThe only thing worthy of my tax dollars that the military has done this year.", ">\n\nOk, now we need a class II space laser pointer to distract the giant cats away from vital infrastructure.", ">\n\nThey all are so good. My favorite is May, then September.", ">\n\nOh... good.", ">\n\nThose paragraphs are hilarious.", ">\n\nNow THIS is news!", ">\n\nCatcatae", ">\n\nThey would, if they could.", ">\n\nOmg yes. Need.", ">\n\n\"attacking\" lol", ">\n\nThere’s a great Twitter user called Giant Military Cats or something like that where the user does much the same. \nSeems like a kind, lonely soul who revels in people thanking them. Give it a look", ">\n\nNot oniony, really… just awesome.", ">\n\nThis is what our tax dollars should be used for", ">\n\nThis is why shit takes forever to get built when the government is involved. Now it all make sense...", ">\n\nI love it, but the cats seemed poorly photoshopped in", ">\n\nThey're engineers, not graphic artists.", ">\n\nGotta normalize death and murder in any way possible. Next up, an E-sports tournament hosted by Army Recruiters! Complete with twitch ads and tik tok videos!" ]

[ "Imagine the work order. \nYour boss comes to you and says, \"Hey, you're in charge of the cats calendar.\"\n\"What calendar?\"\n\"The one with cats attacking infrastructure?\"\n\"What?\"", ">\n\nyou miss ONE day...", ">\n\nHail Vectron!", ">\n\nBy Vectron!", ">\n\nFor those yet to experience the holy might of Vectron's kindly claw", ">\n\nThank you. I had no idea.", ">\n\nYou are most welcome by Vectron", ">\n\nFor the love of all that is Vectron, your speech warms my Vectronic heart.", ">\n\nMay Vectron’s beard shed its benevolence upon us. 🙏🏻🙏🏻", ">\n\nAnd may all of his correspondence to us be sent Vectronically. So it is written, so shall it be done.", ">\n\nI live in Oregon and started to recognize a bunch of the dams, so I was like, “huh, that’s kinda cool.” Then I saw the text at the bottom of the first page. Portland District. Now a cat calendar makes perfect sense.", ">\n\nSame thing happened to me. I think I'm going to head to kinko's and have them print it out for me.", ">\n\nTell them you need to print some important official military documents before you show them what it is", ">\n\nDon’t forget to tell them you need it right meow!", ">\n\nWho will protect our infrastructure from this menace?", ">\n\nAn array of laser pointers.", ">\n\ncut to giant laser pointer satellite", ">\n\nomigod the jewish space lasers were real", ">\n\n*meowish space lasers", ">\n\nHey that's racist", ">\n\nI think it would be cheaper to buy a calendar than use the ink/toner required to print it.", ">\n\nThat's why you print it at work.", ">\n\nhaha true, oh wait I work from home...", ">\n\nIf you print from home for work you can write printer supplies off on your taxes :)", ">\n\nUh yes boss I needed a calendar, so… oh what? Use the company one? Ummm but the US army has a really nice one and I thought I’d be patriotic - what? Oh, yeah I know we’re in Canada, I just…", ">\n\nPortland is pretty much wannabe Vancouver, BC. I say it goes!", ">\n\nExactly what a Canadian would say...", ">\n\nGoodies, goodie goodie, yum yum.", ">\n\nI just scrolled until I found The Goodies reference but was wondering if I was going to find one at all.", ">\n\nIt's way down the list, isn't it? \n/knees hurt.", ">\n\nOw, my back! Get off my lawn!", ">\n\nOne engineer did it in his free time, and released it for use through the corps. \nThis was NOT government funded.", ">\n\nEven if it was government funded, I support this.", ">\n\nEven if it was government funded it would've been like maybe one day of pay at most? Not a ton for the amount of publicity they'll get that might make them even more money.", ">\n\nAssuming they already have the infrastructure pictures I would be surprised if it took more than 4 work hours. Also for chronically underfunded agencies that kind of PR is exactly how you get voters to convince the politicians to increase funds. I look forward to NASA figuring out how to photoshop giant cats playing with the planets like balls of yarn for their calendar", ">\n\n\nI look forward to NASA figuring out how to photoshop giant cats playing with the planets like balls of yarn for their calendar \n\nWell let me introduce you to the most bizarre social media messaging from an official U.S. government agency: The U.S. Consumer Product Safety Commission's Instagram feed. \nAnd before I catch any \"there's no way this is real\" replies, here's the Washington Post covering it: \n\nHow a federal bureaucrat uses astronaut babies and dogs riding pigeons to try to save your life", ">\n\nThis is rad!", ">\n\nCISA losing their shit rn", ">\n\nI would like one.", ">\n\nIt's a free PDF.", ">\n\nNo he would like one of the cats", ">\n\nyOu wOuLdN'T DoWnloAd a cAT", ">\n\nI can’t believe they included Sherlock getting knocked off a cliff. At least he didn’t jump this time.", ">\n\nI'm shocked that you're the only person I've seen comment on this so far! it's hilarious", ">\n\n\"Every year, dozens of cats attack important infrastructure for our country causing dozens of dollars of damage. Won't you help?\"", ">\n\nI heard this with Sarah McLoughlin's voice", ">\n\nArmy Cats", ">\n\nNow do it with pictures of our crumbling infrastructure.", ">\n\nThis seems like one of those things that is somehow going to age poorly given our Universe's current sense of irony. I don't know how exactly, but there's going to be some mass tragedy involving cats and a suspension bridge or something this year.", ">\n\nThe first image kind of reads like \"this infrastructure is super important so don't damage it\". The calendar almost seems like a shopping list for domestic terrorists or something lol.", ">\n\nI mean, pretty obvious that dams, substations, bridges and the like are good targets for chaos. Google maps gives you all this plus Police stations and everything, with photos and the address. Useless to worry about it", ">\n\nSeriously, anyone who unironicly think terrorists were waiting for a cat calendar to list a bunch of locations to bomb is paranoid about the wrong things.", ">\n\nCats would hunt and eat us if they were bigger than us", ">\n\nThey already do, they are called Tigers.", ">\n\nIf there were smaller tigers, we would keep them as pets, but they'd break all our stuff to prove they're still in charge.", ">\n\nThey already do, they are called Cats.", ">\n\nOH MY GOD!", ">\n\nMy tabby is a cute little tiger", ">\n\nI knew we had infrastructure challenges, but I didn't realize we were facing an infrastructure cat-astrophe!", ">\n\nTake my r/angryupvote", ">\n\nI love how shitty the photoshop is. Really ties it all together", ">\n\nYeah I like the idea--but the pictures chosen and color grading are all off. I'd like this idea better executed more professionally.", ">\n\nOh no I'm serious. The unprofessionalism is the best part. I would absolutely pay money for this", ">\n\nOnly only thing weirder is gonna be their crazy ass plan to save the infrastructure.", ">\n\nIt's the engineer Corp, they can build giant cat carriers.", ">\n\nI guess anything beats the 40 million they spend on viagra to keep the soldiers saluting.", ">\n\nThis is delightful", ">\n\ni was imagining mountain lions breaking in to dumpsters or something, not giant house cats gnawing on substations, not disappointed.", ">\n\nI don’t need a calendar now that our pocket rectangles handle all of that for us, but I really want this calendar.", ">\n\nIt is really convenient to just walk by my schedule versus having to pull it up, scroll, click and expand. I tend to forget about things if I don’t see it in front of me, but that’s just how my brain works. Plus if you’re on the phone trying to schedule something it’s nice to write it out too.", ">\n\nI'm sorry, we're already booked for giant spiders.", ">\n\nI personally kinda love this.", ">\n\nBest use of a miniscule amount of our tax dollars in the entire US $1.7T budget. US Army Corp wins the internet today!", ">\n\nHonestly, the entire army corps of engineers may be one of highest rates of return on public good vs funding", ">\n\nSeriously. They do a shit ton of quality and important public work on a relatively shoe-string budget for engineering. I have a lot of respect for the people that work at the USACOE.", ">\n\nSeptember, now that one is art", ">\n\nHaters will say it's Photoshop.", ">\n\nThey’ve never seen Catzilla.", ">\n\nHero of the Week! Hail yourself!", ">\n\nThere it is!", ">\n\n\nThe Army Corps Of Engineers Has Released a 2023 Calendar Of Giant Cats Attacking <\n\nr/brand new sentence \nAlso, giant cats attacking infrastructure is so 2020. In 2023 it just sounds silly.", ">\n\nSeptember ❤️", ">\n\nOmg. I love this. Especially the text blurbs on the pictures. Very funny and adorable!", ">\n\nSounds like they understand cats are required if you want social media traction", ">\n\nI have never wanted to buy a calendar more than I do now!", ">\n\nOn the one hand, I applaud the idea.\nOn the other hand, the photoshop skills look like they came from the army corps of engineers.", ">\n\nWould you actually want them to look like they were perfectly matched to each environment? I'm pretty sure the comedic effect is all that matters here.\nAnd besides, it was just one engineer that created this on their spare time, rather than an official ACE production.", ">\n\nI was mainly being a bit snarky because the internet. That, and what I said was objectively true.", ">\n\nCan confirm, the Corps of Engineers fuckkkkks", ">\n\nGoddammit I just bought my 2023 calendar too lol", ">\n\nThat’s cute though, not worrisome like a lot of other r/nottheonion posts.", ">\n\nAs ever, the Army Corps of Engineers are the one branch of the US state that can get the important shit done", ">\n\nFrom the comments ITT it's evident that most people are unaware of how important they are to the lives of the majority of productive people in this country (people who live near a coastline or a major body of water). It's not just dams and rivers, it's the actual physical coastline of america that they look after.", ">\n\nYup, it seems double edged- people think oh, they're the army corps and assumes they must be doing only military stuff. But equally if it was civilianised no doubt it'd be a target for cuts. An incredible org, regardless. And whether it's cats or weather or warming or the collapse of neglected infrastructure they're going to get more and more important so it's a damn good thing they exist because in 2023, nobody would invent them...", ">\n\nUSACE is an agency that is funded by the DOD but is vastly ran by civilians. There are very few enlisted or commissioned people in the army corps.", ">\n\nOK this is a thing and this is awesome", ">\n\nOops, I had \"Zombie Redneck Torture Family\" in the betting pool.", ">\n\nGrumble. Never gonna see a merman...", ">\n\nUSACE Portland District is one of the absolute best public sector social media presences out there. Seriously. Check it out.", ">\n\nCats in military pictures is an entire IG channel", ">\n\nGood boot", ">\n\nCommand team must be TDY", ">\n\nThat was even better than the title made me think it would be.", ">\n\nI support my tax dollars going to causes such as this.", ">\n\nFinally tax dollars doing something good", ">\n\nI’m kind of disappointed. From the title, I thought there would be photos of actual big cats attacking infrastructure, not photoshopped domestic cats. Anyone have a photo of a puma going after an electrical substation? Or a tiger gnawing on a water line?", ">\n\nNo. No one has that. Would be very interesting though to compile a calendar like that. Peace brother.", ">\n\nGreat, now I need a color printer.\nSeriously, thank you u/radioman8414!", ">\n\nThis is how I want my tax money spent. Downloaded and put up in my office!", ">\n\nThe regional social media guy who put this together is constantly hilarious", ">\n\nGreatest calendar of 2023.", ">\n\nI need one of these for my office! I've worked on some of these dams!", ">\n\nCan I ask you some dam questions?? I’m sure you know a lot of dam information. I’m sure all of us would love some dam stories. Thank you.", ">\n\nSure way to have a more interesting calendar than just infrastructure.", ">\n\nI would so adopt one if they existed.", ">\n\nI've heard army corps of engineers are very difficult to house train. May want to consider before adopting one.", ">\n\nTouché.", ">\n\nThat's amazing, thank you for posting it!", ">\n\nIs there anywhere to buy a nice physical copy of the calendar?", ">\n\nThose cats are mind-controlled by taxoplasmosis alien ameobas!", ">\n\nI was thinking this was gonna be mountain lions taking out maintenance huts or something like that. This is so much better", ">\n\nI’m the daughter of a former Portland, Oregon, US Army Corps Engineer, and I can confirm they are a strange crew. It makes me view the dams on the Columbia River fondly?", ">\n\nI love this so much.", ">\n\nDude. Awesome.", ">\n\nI love this! My astronomy teacher once did a talk on space cats. It was hysterical. Out of the blue he showed us pictures of space with cats added in. He felt we needed a fun class for laughs. I want this calendar.", ">\n\nThis would be really cool if they got a decent digital artist. But they didn't, they used photoshop about as well as I can.", ">\n\nI think that adds to the charm", ">\n\nDon't even need to see it, where can I buy it", ">\n\nFrom the link - \"Because the Army Corps is a Government Agency, the calendar is in public domain and totally free to download and print\"", ">\n\nThis is so funny, because it’s my Dad’s old workplace (from 1971 until he retired). My father, however, has zero sense of humor so he’d never work on something like this.", ">\n\nI met a guy from the Army Corps of Engineers when I worked for the EPA. Smartest guy I've ever met and the 2nd most hippe like person I've ever met. I'd like to think he had something to do with this idea.", ">\n\nFinally the massive military budget of the US is put to good use.", ">\n\nThis is awesome. I might have to buy one.", ">\n\nNo need. It's free, though you have to print it yourself if you want a physical copy", ">\n\nThis is so adorable! I approve wholeheartedly.", ">\n\nIt's about time.", ">\n\nSappers lead the way", ">\n\nI have so much love for this.", ">\n\nEhisssayons.", ">\n\nLove it.", ">\n\nUnintended benefits of relaxed Marijuana policies :)", ">\n\nUsace has not relaxed cannabis policies. No federal agency has", ">\n\nThey certainly have relaxed policy, even though federal law hasn't changed. It's legal in my state and the current administration has announced they won't be pursuing user level Marijuana charges at the federal level.\nWake up.", ">\n\nUSACE still falls under the same policies as the rest of the army. They're treated as DA civilians, and subject to periodic biochemical testing and the resultant consequences if they pee hot. The army has, and will not in the foreseeable future, relax any policy regarding marijuana.", ">\n\nAdorable idea; wish they had hired someone better at photoshop", ">\n\nIts a free gag calendar that was probably just put together by someone for fun in their spare time. Considering the state of infrastructure in the US I don't imagine the Corps of Engineers has a lot of extra spending money to throw around", ">\n\nIf they were smart, they would print it for us and sell it. I don't want a crappy calender that I printed on regular paper, I want the real thing and I would be glad to pay for it.", ">\n\nGenius!! This needs to be a trend. Reddit, make it so...", ">\n\nfuck yeah we finally gonna balance the budget", ">\n\nDecember's hilarious. I want this calender.", ">\n\nYou can totally tell that this is not real. The lighting on the cats is so obviously different than the environmental mistake. Pathetic effort infrastructure geeks.", ">\n\nSo they can blame cats for shoddy workmanship and lax maintenance.", ">\n\nDon't capitalize \"Of\" in titles", ">\n\nWish they'd focus on not taking eight years to permit a fucking project, those lazy excuses for engineers.", ">\n\nYou’re crazy dude. These peeps have built some amazing things. Extremely impressive.", ">\n\nThey used to.", ">\n\n😂", ">\n\nThis whole absurd thing is exactly my sense of humour. LOVE it.", ">\n\nOregon! I've seen the one at Detroit Dam. Sneaky bugger. Hangs out with Bigfoot.", ">\n\nI need this", ">\n\nThat's some adorable terrorism right there.", ">\n\nI remember seeing them, on quad bikes, with a lot of equipment, on Myrtle Beach beaches, I always wondered what they were doing...", ">\n\nI love this sequel to Beginning of the End!", ">\n\nIs there a way I can buy a physical version?", ">\n\nThey're Demo-cats!", ">\n\nAny recommendations of the best way to get this printed semi-professionally? I tried checking Costco photo centre but they make you use a template.", ">\n\nOf course it’s Portland.", ">\n\nKind of disappointing I can't actually buy a printed one. My daughter would love this.", ">\n\nA pretty good idea for a poster. Who doesn't like cats being cats?", ">\n\nI really wish I had become a part of the ACOE but my mother didn't want her only son in the military.", ">\n\nUsace has civilian positions you're employed by the army, but you don't go through basic", ">\n\nI hope they pay more than Nidec.", ">\n\nThanks for sharing! Downloaded and got my new Lock Screen wallpaper.", ">\n\nDecember is 🔥", ">\n\nObligatory Cat Dynamics", ">\n\nPoliticians will say this is the proof of the REAL reason of why our infrastructure is deteriorating, then vote in a measure to hire their friends and family to counter this threat.", ">\n\nI didnt know cats were domestic terrorists like Republicans. lol", ">\n\nThis is the only kind of apocalypse I could see myself getting excited about.", ">\n\nAugust a missed opportunity to have CAT Excavators.", ">\n\nYou have my attention.", ">\n\nSmart move", ">\n\nGod help us.", ">\n\nBest thing to come out of the Army post WWII.", ">\n\n🤔", ">\n\n\"Let's write a two paragraph article about something freely available on the internet and make absolutely no attempt to actually tell you where to find it\".", ">\n\nCatjira!", ">\n\nhilarious!", ">\n\nFinally", ">\n\nThis is the oniony-est story I’ve seen on here in a while", ">\n\nCant wait for the next spending bill to include cat proofing our infrastructure", ">\n\nHonestly… I’d buy it.", ">\n\nWish I would have heard of that in November or so. This seems unique, fun and a great idea for a calendar.", ">\n\nI heard about this from Last Podcast on the Left, glad to see it pop up on my feed with pictures!", ">\n\nI'm gonna need an NSN For that...", ">\n\nOf course it’s the Portland District", ">\n\nHonestly this is worth buying", ">\n\nIm not a cat person, but I would buy the calendar.", ">\n\nAny way to view the album without losing my mind on that website? God it's shit on mobile.", ">\n\nI especially love how June just looks like a well framed optical illusion photo.", ">\n\nThis is cute and all, but man, it seems a little poor in taste that August is a kitty-shaped military drone blowing up an Iraqi preschool", ">\n\nWhat did Oregon do to deserve this", ">\n\nGee I read that and instantly I thought they had done a study and released an estimated calendar of when an where giant cats would attack infrastructure in 2023. Phew.", ">\n\nOn that day, humanity received a grim reminder…", ">\n\nah yes\nPortland keeping it weird again", ">\n\nit’s cute, but who wrote the copy?", ">\n\nAmazing", ">\n\neverything changed when the cat nation attacked", ">\n\nI'm into it", ">\n\nnow this is what I want my tax dollars going towards", ">\n\nI'd love to believe that there was some huge misunderstanding and somewhere someone had actually meant CATs like the company with the big heavy machinery", ">\n\nThe word \"attacking\" is doing a lot of work here", ">\n\nW", ">\n\nLook, I’m pretty anti-government, but this I can get behind", ">\n\nCattack on titan", ">\n\nI'm a civil engineer.\nI would fucking LOVE this.\nThis'll go good in my office next to my other engineering / math punny comics.\nLike this one.\nOr this one.\nOr, maybe this one.", ">\n\nThe Only well spent part of the military budget", ">\n\nI might buy it", ">\n\nWhat the fuck is that website", ">\n\nThis is great!", ">\n\nAugust is great.", ">\n\nNow the real MVP will tell us how to print this like an actual calendar.", ">\n\nThe only thing worthy of my tax dollars that the military has done this year.", ">\n\nOk, now we need a class II space laser pointer to distract the giant cats away from vital infrastructure.", ">\n\nThey all are so good. My favorite is May, then September.", ">\n\nOh... good.", ">\n\nThose paragraphs are hilarious.", ">\n\nNow THIS is news!", ">\n\nCatcatae", ">\n\nThey would, if they could.", ">\n\nOmg yes. Need.", ">\n\n\"attacking\" lol", ">\n\nThere’s a great Twitter user called Giant Military Cats or something like that where the user does much the same. \nSeems like a kind, lonely soul who revels in people thanking them. Give it a look", ">\n\nNot oniony, really… just awesome.", ">\n\nThis is what our tax dollars should be used for", ">\n\nThis is why shit takes forever to get built when the government is involved. Now it all make sense...", ">\n\nI love it, but the cats seemed poorly photoshopped in", ">\n\nThey're engineers, not graphic artists.", ">\n\nGotta normalize death and murder in any way possible. Next up, an E-sports tournament hosted by Army Recruiters! Complete with twitch ads and tik tok videos!", ">\n\nThis is the Army Corps of Engineers. They're more Bob the Builder than G.I. Joe." ]

[ "Imagine the work order. \nYour boss comes to you and says, \"Hey, you're in charge of the cats calendar.\"\n\"What calendar?\"\n\"The one with cats attacking infrastructure?\"\n\"What?\"", ">\n\nyou miss ONE day...", ">\n\nHail Vectron!", ">\n\nBy Vectron!", ">\n\nFor those yet to experience the holy might of Vectron's kindly claw", ">\n\nThank you. I had no idea.", ">\n\nYou are most welcome by Vectron", ">\n\nFor the love of all that is Vectron, your speech warms my Vectronic heart.", ">\n\nMay Vectron’s beard shed its benevolence upon us. 🙏🏻🙏🏻", ">\n\nAnd may all of his correspondence to us be sent Vectronically. So it is written, so shall it be done.", ">\n\nI live in Oregon and started to recognize a bunch of the dams, so I was like, “huh, that’s kinda cool.” Then I saw the text at the bottom of the first page. Portland District. Now a cat calendar makes perfect sense.", ">\n\nSame thing happened to me. I think I'm going to head to kinko's and have them print it out for me.", ">\n\nTell them you need to print some important official military documents before you show them what it is", ">\n\nDon’t forget to tell them you need it right meow!", ">\n\nWho will protect our infrastructure from this menace?", ">\n\nAn array of laser pointers.", ">\n\ncut to giant laser pointer satellite", ">\n\nomigod the jewish space lasers were real", ">\n\n*meowish space lasers", ">\n\nHey that's racist", ">\n\nI think it would be cheaper to buy a calendar than use the ink/toner required to print it.", ">\n\nThat's why you print it at work.", ">\n\nhaha true, oh wait I work from home...", ">\n\nIf you print from home for work you can write printer supplies off on your taxes :)", ">\n\nUh yes boss I needed a calendar, so… oh what? Use the company one? Ummm but the US army has a really nice one and I thought I’d be patriotic - what? Oh, yeah I know we’re in Canada, I just…", ">\n\nPortland is pretty much wannabe Vancouver, BC. I say it goes!", ">\n\nExactly what a Canadian would say...", ">\n\nGoodies, goodie goodie, yum yum.", ">\n\nI just scrolled until I found The Goodies reference but was wondering if I was going to find one at all.", ">\n\nIt's way down the list, isn't it? \n/knees hurt.", ">\n\nOw, my back! Get off my lawn!", ">\n\nOne engineer did it in his free time, and released it for use through the corps. \nThis was NOT government funded.", ">\n\nEven if it was government funded, I support this.", ">\n\nEven if it was government funded it would've been like maybe one day of pay at most? Not a ton for the amount of publicity they'll get that might make them even more money.", ">\n\nAssuming they already have the infrastructure pictures I would be surprised if it took more than 4 work hours. Also for chronically underfunded agencies that kind of PR is exactly how you get voters to convince the politicians to increase funds. I look forward to NASA figuring out how to photoshop giant cats playing with the planets like balls of yarn for their calendar", ">\n\n\nI look forward to NASA figuring out how to photoshop giant cats playing with the planets like balls of yarn for their calendar \n\nWell let me introduce you to the most bizarre social media messaging from an official U.S. government agency: The U.S. Consumer Product Safety Commission's Instagram feed. \nAnd before I catch any \"there's no way this is real\" replies, here's the Washington Post covering it: \n\nHow a federal bureaucrat uses astronaut babies and dogs riding pigeons to try to save your life", ">\n\nThis is rad!", ">\n\nCISA losing their shit rn", ">\n\nI would like one.", ">\n\nIt's a free PDF.", ">\n\nNo he would like one of the cats", ">\n\nyOu wOuLdN'T DoWnloAd a cAT", ">\n\nI can’t believe they included Sherlock getting knocked off a cliff. At least he didn’t jump this time.", ">\n\nI'm shocked that you're the only person I've seen comment on this so far! it's hilarious", ">\n\n\"Every year, dozens of cats attack important infrastructure for our country causing dozens of dollars of damage. Won't you help?\"", ">\n\nI heard this with Sarah McLoughlin's voice", ">\n\nArmy Cats", ">\n\nNow do it with pictures of our crumbling infrastructure.", ">\n\nThis seems like one of those things that is somehow going to age poorly given our Universe's current sense of irony. I don't know how exactly, but there's going to be some mass tragedy involving cats and a suspension bridge or something this year.", ">\n\nThe first image kind of reads like \"this infrastructure is super important so don't damage it\". The calendar almost seems like a shopping list for domestic terrorists or something lol.", ">\n\nI mean, pretty obvious that dams, substations, bridges and the like are good targets for chaos. Google maps gives you all this plus Police stations and everything, with photos and the address. Useless to worry about it", ">\n\nSeriously, anyone who unironicly think terrorists were waiting for a cat calendar to list a bunch of locations to bomb is paranoid about the wrong things.", ">\n\nCats would hunt and eat us if they were bigger than us", ">\n\nThey already do, they are called Tigers.", ">\n\nIf there were smaller tigers, we would keep them as pets, but they'd break all our stuff to prove they're still in charge.", ">\n\nThey already do, they are called Cats.", ">\n\nOH MY GOD!", ">\n\nMy tabby is a cute little tiger", ">\n\nI knew we had infrastructure challenges, but I didn't realize we were facing an infrastructure cat-astrophe!", ">\n\nTake my r/angryupvote", ">\n\nI love how shitty the photoshop is. Really ties it all together", ">\n\nYeah I like the idea--but the pictures chosen and color grading are all off. I'd like this idea better executed more professionally.", ">\n\nOh no I'm serious. The unprofessionalism is the best part. I would absolutely pay money for this", ">\n\nOnly only thing weirder is gonna be their crazy ass plan to save the infrastructure.", ">\n\nIt's the engineer Corp, they can build giant cat carriers.", ">\n\nI guess anything beats the 40 million they spend on viagra to keep the soldiers saluting.", ">\n\nThis is delightful", ">\n\ni was imagining mountain lions breaking in to dumpsters or something, not giant house cats gnawing on substations, not disappointed.", ">\n\nI don’t need a calendar now that our pocket rectangles handle all of that for us, but I really want this calendar.", ">\n\nIt is really convenient to just walk by my schedule versus having to pull it up, scroll, click and expand. I tend to forget about things if I don’t see it in front of me, but that’s just how my brain works. Plus if you’re on the phone trying to schedule something it’s nice to write it out too.", ">\n\nI'm sorry, we're already booked for giant spiders.", ">\n\nI personally kinda love this.", ">\n\nBest use of a miniscule amount of our tax dollars in the entire US $1.7T budget. US Army Corp wins the internet today!", ">\n\nHonestly, the entire army corps of engineers may be one of highest rates of return on public good vs funding", ">\n\nSeriously. They do a shit ton of quality and important public work on a relatively shoe-string budget for engineering. I have a lot of respect for the people that work at the USACOE.", ">\n\nSeptember, now that one is art", ">\n\nHaters will say it's Photoshop.", ">\n\nThey’ve never seen Catzilla.", ">\n\nHero of the Week! Hail yourself!", ">\n\nThere it is!", ">\n\n\nThe Army Corps Of Engineers Has Released a 2023 Calendar Of Giant Cats Attacking <\n\nr/brand new sentence \nAlso, giant cats attacking infrastructure is so 2020. In 2023 it just sounds silly.", ">\n\nSeptember ❤️", ">\n\nOmg. I love this. Especially the text blurbs on the pictures. Very funny and adorable!", ">\n\nSounds like they understand cats are required if you want social media traction", ">\n\nI have never wanted to buy a calendar more than I do now!", ">\n\nOn the one hand, I applaud the idea.\nOn the other hand, the photoshop skills look like they came from the army corps of engineers.", ">\n\nWould you actually want them to look like they were perfectly matched to each environment? I'm pretty sure the comedic effect is all that matters here.\nAnd besides, it was just one engineer that created this on their spare time, rather than an official ACE production.", ">\n\nI was mainly being a bit snarky because the internet. That, and what I said was objectively true.", ">\n\nCan confirm, the Corps of Engineers fuckkkkks", ">\n\nGoddammit I just bought my 2023 calendar too lol", ">\n\nThat’s cute though, not worrisome like a lot of other r/nottheonion posts.", ">\n\nAs ever, the Army Corps of Engineers are the one branch of the US state that can get the important shit done", ">\n\nFrom the comments ITT it's evident that most people are unaware of how important they are to the lives of the majority of productive people in this country (people who live near a coastline or a major body of water). It's not just dams and rivers, it's the actual physical coastline of america that they look after.", ">\n\nYup, it seems double edged- people think oh, they're the army corps and assumes they must be doing only military stuff. But equally if it was civilianised no doubt it'd be a target for cuts. An incredible org, regardless. And whether it's cats or weather or warming or the collapse of neglected infrastructure they're going to get more and more important so it's a damn good thing they exist because in 2023, nobody would invent them...", ">\n\nUSACE is an agency that is funded by the DOD but is vastly ran by civilians. There are very few enlisted or commissioned people in the army corps.", ">\n\nOK this is a thing and this is awesome", ">\n\nOops, I had \"Zombie Redneck Torture Family\" in the betting pool.", ">\n\nGrumble. Never gonna see a merman...", ">\n\nUSACE Portland District is one of the absolute best public sector social media presences out there. Seriously. Check it out.", ">\n\nCats in military pictures is an entire IG channel", ">\n\nGood boot", ">\n\nCommand team must be TDY", ">\n\nThat was even better than the title made me think it would be.", ">\n\nI support my tax dollars going to causes such as this.", ">\n\nFinally tax dollars doing something good", ">\n\nI’m kind of disappointed. From the title, I thought there would be photos of actual big cats attacking infrastructure, not photoshopped domestic cats. Anyone have a photo of a puma going after an electrical substation? Or a tiger gnawing on a water line?", ">\n\nNo. No one has that. Would be very interesting though to compile a calendar like that. Peace brother.", ">\n\nGreat, now I need a color printer.\nSeriously, thank you u/radioman8414!", ">\n\nThis is how I want my tax money spent. Downloaded and put up in my office!", ">\n\nThe regional social media guy who put this together is constantly hilarious", ">\n\nGreatest calendar of 2023.", ">\n\nI need one of these for my office! I've worked on some of these dams!", ">\n\nCan I ask you some dam questions?? I’m sure you know a lot of dam information. I’m sure all of us would love some dam stories. Thank you.", ">\n\nSure way to have a more interesting calendar than just infrastructure.", ">\n\nI would so adopt one if they existed.", ">\n\nI've heard army corps of engineers are very difficult to house train. May want to consider before adopting one.", ">\n\nTouché.", ">\n\nThat's amazing, thank you for posting it!", ">\n\nIs there anywhere to buy a nice physical copy of the calendar?", ">\n\nThose cats are mind-controlled by taxoplasmosis alien ameobas!", ">\n\nI was thinking this was gonna be mountain lions taking out maintenance huts or something like that. This is so much better", ">\n\nI’m the daughter of a former Portland, Oregon, US Army Corps Engineer, and I can confirm they are a strange crew. It makes me view the dams on the Columbia River fondly?", ">\n\nI love this so much.", ">\n\nDude. Awesome.", ">\n\nI love this! My astronomy teacher once did a talk on space cats. It was hysterical. Out of the blue he showed us pictures of space with cats added in. He felt we needed a fun class for laughs. I want this calendar.", ">\n\nThis would be really cool if they got a decent digital artist. But they didn't, they used photoshop about as well as I can.", ">\n\nI think that adds to the charm", ">\n\nDon't even need to see it, where can I buy it", ">\n\nFrom the link - \"Because the Army Corps is a Government Agency, the calendar is in public domain and totally free to download and print\"", ">\n\nThis is so funny, because it’s my Dad’s old workplace (from 1971 until he retired). My father, however, has zero sense of humor so he’d never work on something like this.", ">\n\nI met a guy from the Army Corps of Engineers when I worked for the EPA. Smartest guy I've ever met and the 2nd most hippe like person I've ever met. I'd like to think he had something to do with this idea.", ">\n\nFinally the massive military budget of the US is put to good use.", ">\n\nThis is awesome. I might have to buy one.", ">\n\nNo need. It's free, though you have to print it yourself if you want a physical copy", ">\n\nThis is so adorable! I approve wholeheartedly.", ">\n\nIt's about time.", ">\n\nSappers lead the way", ">\n\nI have so much love for this.", ">\n\nEhisssayons.", ">\n\nLove it.", ">\n\nUnintended benefits of relaxed Marijuana policies :)", ">\n\nUsace has not relaxed cannabis policies. No federal agency has", ">\n\nThey certainly have relaxed policy, even though federal law hasn't changed. It's legal in my state and the current administration has announced they won't be pursuing user level Marijuana charges at the federal level.\nWake up.", ">\n\nUSACE still falls under the same policies as the rest of the army. They're treated as DA civilians, and subject to periodic biochemical testing and the resultant consequences if they pee hot. The army has, and will not in the foreseeable future, relax any policy regarding marijuana.", ">\n\nAdorable idea; wish they had hired someone better at photoshop", ">\n\nIts a free gag calendar that was probably just put together by someone for fun in their spare time. Considering the state of infrastructure in the US I don't imagine the Corps of Engineers has a lot of extra spending money to throw around", ">\n\nIf they were smart, they would print it for us and sell it. I don't want a crappy calender that I printed on regular paper, I want the real thing and I would be glad to pay for it.", ">\n\nGenius!! This needs to be a trend. Reddit, make it so...", ">\n\nfuck yeah we finally gonna balance the budget", ">\n\nDecember's hilarious. I want this calender.", ">\n\nYou can totally tell that this is not real. The lighting on the cats is so obviously different than the environmental mistake. Pathetic effort infrastructure geeks.", ">\n\nSo they can blame cats for shoddy workmanship and lax maintenance.", ">\n\nDon't capitalize \"Of\" in titles", ">\n\nWish they'd focus on not taking eight years to permit a fucking project, those lazy excuses for engineers.", ">\n\nYou’re crazy dude. These peeps have built some amazing things. Extremely impressive.", ">\n\nThey used to.", ">\n\n😂", ">\n\nThis whole absurd thing is exactly my sense of humour. LOVE it.", ">\n\nOregon! I've seen the one at Detroit Dam. Sneaky bugger. Hangs out with Bigfoot.", ">\n\nI need this", ">\n\nThat's some adorable terrorism right there.", ">\n\nI remember seeing them, on quad bikes, with a lot of equipment, on Myrtle Beach beaches, I always wondered what they were doing...", ">\n\nI love this sequel to Beginning of the End!", ">\n\nIs there a way I can buy a physical version?", ">\n\nThey're Demo-cats!", ">\n\nAny recommendations of the best way to get this printed semi-professionally? I tried checking Costco photo centre but they make you use a template.", ">\n\nOf course it’s Portland.", ">\n\nKind of disappointing I can't actually buy a printed one. My daughter would love this.", ">\n\nA pretty good idea for a poster. Who doesn't like cats being cats?", ">\n\nI really wish I had become a part of the ACOE but my mother didn't want her only son in the military.", ">\n\nUsace has civilian positions you're employed by the army, but you don't go through basic", ">\n\nI hope they pay more than Nidec.", ">\n\nThanks for sharing! Downloaded and got my new Lock Screen wallpaper.", ">\n\nDecember is 🔥", ">\n\nObligatory Cat Dynamics", ">\n\nPoliticians will say this is the proof of the REAL reason of why our infrastructure is deteriorating, then vote in a measure to hire their friends and family to counter this threat.", ">\n\nI didnt know cats were domestic terrorists like Republicans. lol", ">\n\nThis is the only kind of apocalypse I could see myself getting excited about.", ">\n\nAugust a missed opportunity to have CAT Excavators.", ">\n\nYou have my attention.", ">\n\nSmart move", ">\n\nGod help us.", ">\n\nBest thing to come out of the Army post WWII.", ">\n\n🤔", ">\n\n\"Let's write a two paragraph article about something freely available on the internet and make absolutely no attempt to actually tell you where to find it\".", ">\n\nCatjira!", ">\n\nhilarious!", ">\n\nFinally", ">\n\nThis is the oniony-est story I’ve seen on here in a while", ">\n\nCant wait for the next spending bill to include cat proofing our infrastructure", ">\n\nHonestly… I’d buy it.", ">\n\nWish I would have heard of that in November or so. This seems unique, fun and a great idea for a calendar.", ">\n\nI heard about this from Last Podcast on the Left, glad to see it pop up on my feed with pictures!", ">\n\nI'm gonna need an NSN For that...", ">\n\nOf course it’s the Portland District", ">\n\nHonestly this is worth buying", ">\n\nIm not a cat person, but I would buy the calendar.", ">\n\nAny way to view the album without losing my mind on that website? God it's shit on mobile.", ">\n\nI especially love how June just looks like a well framed optical illusion photo.", ">\n\nThis is cute and all, but man, it seems a little poor in taste that August is a kitty-shaped military drone blowing up an Iraqi preschool", ">\n\nWhat did Oregon do to deserve this", ">\n\nGee I read that and instantly I thought they had done a study and released an estimated calendar of when an where giant cats would attack infrastructure in 2023. Phew.", ">\n\nOn that day, humanity received a grim reminder…", ">\n\nah yes\nPortland keeping it weird again", ">\n\nit’s cute, but who wrote the copy?", ">\n\nAmazing", ">\n\neverything changed when the cat nation attacked", ">\n\nI'm into it", ">\n\nnow this is what I want my tax dollars going towards", ">\n\nI'd love to believe that there was some huge misunderstanding and somewhere someone had actually meant CATs like the company with the big heavy machinery", ">\n\nThe word \"attacking\" is doing a lot of work here", ">\n\nW", ">\n\nLook, I’m pretty anti-government, but this I can get behind", ">\n\nCattack on titan", ">\n\nI'm a civil engineer.\nI would fucking LOVE this.\nThis'll go good in my office next to my other engineering / math punny comics.\nLike this one.\nOr this one.\nOr, maybe this one.", ">\n\nThe Only well spent part of the military budget", ">\n\nI might buy it", ">\n\nWhat the fuck is that website", ">\n\nThis is great!", ">\n\nAugust is great.", ">\n\nNow the real MVP will tell us how to print this like an actual calendar.", ">\n\nThe only thing worthy of my tax dollars that the military has done this year.", ">\n\nOk, now we need a class II space laser pointer to distract the giant cats away from vital infrastructure.", ">\n\nThey all are so good. My favorite is May, then September.", ">\n\nOh... good.", ">\n\nThose paragraphs are hilarious.", ">\n\nNow THIS is news!", ">\n\nCatcatae", ">\n\nThey would, if they could.", ">\n\nOmg yes. Need.", ">\n\n\"attacking\" lol", ">\n\nThere’s a great Twitter user called Giant Military Cats or something like that where the user does much the same. \nSeems like a kind, lonely soul who revels in people thanking them. Give it a look", ">\n\nNot oniony, really… just awesome.", ">\n\nThis is what our tax dollars should be used for", ">\n\nThis is why shit takes forever to get built when the government is involved. Now it all make sense...", ">\n\nI love it, but the cats seemed poorly photoshopped in", ">\n\nThey're engineers, not graphic artists.", ">\n\nGotta normalize death and murder in any way possible. Next up, an E-sports tournament hosted by Army Recruiters! Complete with twitch ads and tik tok videos!", ">\n\nThis is the Army Corps of Engineers. They're more Bob the Builder than G.I. Joe.", ">\n\nThey literally hosted a twitch e sports tournament." ]

[ "Imagine the work order. \nYour boss comes to you and says, \"Hey, you're in charge of the cats calendar.\"\n\"What calendar?\"\n\"The one with cats attacking infrastructure?\"\n\"What?\"", ">\n\nyou miss ONE day...", ">\n\nHail Vectron!", ">\n\nBy Vectron!", ">\n\nFor those yet to experience the holy might of Vectron's kindly claw", ">\n\nThank you. I had no idea.", ">\n\nYou are most welcome by Vectron", ">\n\nFor the love of all that is Vectron, your speech warms my Vectronic heart.", ">\n\nMay Vectron’s beard shed its benevolence upon us. 🙏🏻🙏🏻", ">\n\nAnd may all of his correspondence to us be sent Vectronically. So it is written, so shall it be done.", ">\n\nI live in Oregon and started to recognize a bunch of the dams, so I was like, “huh, that’s kinda cool.” Then I saw the text at the bottom of the first page. Portland District. Now a cat calendar makes perfect sense.", ">\n\nSame thing happened to me. I think I'm going to head to kinko's and have them print it out for me.", ">\n\nTell them you need to print some important official military documents before you show them what it is", ">\n\nDon’t forget to tell them you need it right meow!", ">\n\nWho will protect our infrastructure from this menace?", ">\n\nAn array of laser pointers.", ">\n\ncut to giant laser pointer satellite", ">\n\nomigod the jewish space lasers were real", ">\n\n*meowish space lasers", ">\n\nHey that's racist", ">\n\nI think it would be cheaper to buy a calendar than use the ink/toner required to print it.", ">\n\nThat's why you print it at work.", ">\n\nhaha true, oh wait I work from home...", ">\n\nIf you print from home for work you can write printer supplies off on your taxes :)", ">\n\nUh yes boss I needed a calendar, so… oh what? Use the company one? Ummm but the US army has a really nice one and I thought I’d be patriotic - what? Oh, yeah I know we’re in Canada, I just…", ">\n\nPortland is pretty much wannabe Vancouver, BC. I say it goes!", ">\n\nExactly what a Canadian would say...", ">\n\nGoodies, goodie goodie, yum yum.", ">\n\nI just scrolled until I found The Goodies reference but was wondering if I was going to find one at all.", ">\n\nIt's way down the list, isn't it? \n/knees hurt.", ">\n\nOw, my back! Get off my lawn!", ">\n\nOne engineer did it in his free time, and released it for use through the corps. \nThis was NOT government funded.", ">\n\nEven if it was government funded, I support this.", ">\n\nEven if it was government funded it would've been like maybe one day of pay at most? Not a ton for the amount of publicity they'll get that might make them even more money.", ">\n\nAssuming they already have the infrastructure pictures I would be surprised if it took more than 4 work hours. Also for chronically underfunded agencies that kind of PR is exactly how you get voters to convince the politicians to increase funds. I look forward to NASA figuring out how to photoshop giant cats playing with the planets like balls of yarn for their calendar", ">\n\n\nI look forward to NASA figuring out how to photoshop giant cats playing with the planets like balls of yarn for their calendar \n\nWell let me introduce you to the most bizarre social media messaging from an official U.S. government agency: The U.S. Consumer Product Safety Commission's Instagram feed. \nAnd before I catch any \"there's no way this is real\" replies, here's the Washington Post covering it: \n\nHow a federal bureaucrat uses astronaut babies and dogs riding pigeons to try to save your life", ">\n\nThis is rad!", ">\n\nCISA losing their shit rn", ">\n\nI would like one.", ">\n\nIt's a free PDF.", ">\n\nNo he would like one of the cats", ">\n\nyOu wOuLdN'T DoWnloAd a cAT", ">\n\nI can’t believe they included Sherlock getting knocked off a cliff. At least he didn’t jump this time.", ">\n\nI'm shocked that you're the only person I've seen comment on this so far! it's hilarious", ">\n\n\"Every year, dozens of cats attack important infrastructure for our country causing dozens of dollars of damage. Won't you help?\"", ">\n\nI heard this with Sarah McLoughlin's voice", ">\n\nArmy Cats", ">\n\nNow do it with pictures of our crumbling infrastructure.", ">\n\nThis seems like one of those things that is somehow going to age poorly given our Universe's current sense of irony. I don't know how exactly, but there's going to be some mass tragedy involving cats and a suspension bridge or something this year.", ">\n\nThe first image kind of reads like \"this infrastructure is super important so don't damage it\". The calendar almost seems like a shopping list for domestic terrorists or something lol.", ">\n\nI mean, pretty obvious that dams, substations, bridges and the like are good targets for chaos. Google maps gives you all this plus Police stations and everything, with photos and the address. Useless to worry about it", ">\n\nSeriously, anyone who unironicly think terrorists were waiting for a cat calendar to list a bunch of locations to bomb is paranoid about the wrong things.", ">\n\nCats would hunt and eat us if they were bigger than us", ">\n\nThey already do, they are called Tigers.", ">\n\nIf there were smaller tigers, we would keep them as pets, but they'd break all our stuff to prove they're still in charge.", ">\n\nThey already do, they are called Cats.", ">\n\nOH MY GOD!", ">\n\nMy tabby is a cute little tiger", ">\n\nI knew we had infrastructure challenges, but I didn't realize we were facing an infrastructure cat-astrophe!", ">\n\nTake my r/angryupvote", ">\n\nI love how shitty the photoshop is. Really ties it all together", ">\n\nYeah I like the idea--but the pictures chosen and color grading are all off. I'd like this idea better executed more professionally.", ">\n\nOh no I'm serious. The unprofessionalism is the best part. I would absolutely pay money for this", ">\n\nOnly only thing weirder is gonna be their crazy ass plan to save the infrastructure.", ">\n\nIt's the engineer Corp, they can build giant cat carriers.", ">\n\nI guess anything beats the 40 million they spend on viagra to keep the soldiers saluting.", ">\n\nThis is delightful", ">\n\ni was imagining mountain lions breaking in to dumpsters or something, not giant house cats gnawing on substations, not disappointed.", ">\n\nI don’t need a calendar now that our pocket rectangles handle all of that for us, but I really want this calendar.", ">\n\nIt is really convenient to just walk by my schedule versus having to pull it up, scroll, click and expand. I tend to forget about things if I don’t see it in front of me, but that’s just how my brain works. Plus if you’re on the phone trying to schedule something it’s nice to write it out too.", ">\n\nI'm sorry, we're already booked for giant spiders.", ">\n\nI personally kinda love this.", ">\n\nBest use of a miniscule amount of our tax dollars in the entire US $1.7T budget. US Army Corp wins the internet today!", ">\n\nHonestly, the entire army corps of engineers may be one of highest rates of return on public good vs funding", ">\n\nSeriously. They do a shit ton of quality and important public work on a relatively shoe-string budget for engineering. I have a lot of respect for the people that work at the USACOE.", ">\n\nSeptember, now that one is art", ">\n\nHaters will say it's Photoshop.", ">\n\nThey’ve never seen Catzilla.", ">\n\nHero of the Week! Hail yourself!", ">\n\nThere it is!", ">\n\n\nThe Army Corps Of Engineers Has Released a 2023 Calendar Of Giant Cats Attacking <\n\nr/brand new sentence \nAlso, giant cats attacking infrastructure is so 2020. In 2023 it just sounds silly.", ">\n\nSeptember ❤️", ">\n\nOmg. I love this. Especially the text blurbs on the pictures. Very funny and adorable!", ">\n\nSounds like they understand cats are required if you want social media traction", ">\n\nI have never wanted to buy a calendar more than I do now!", ">\n\nOn the one hand, I applaud the idea.\nOn the other hand, the photoshop skills look like they came from the army corps of engineers.", ">\n\nWould you actually want them to look like they were perfectly matched to each environment? I'm pretty sure the comedic effect is all that matters here.\nAnd besides, it was just one engineer that created this on their spare time, rather than an official ACE production.", ">\n\nI was mainly being a bit snarky because the internet. That, and what I said was objectively true.", ">\n\nCan confirm, the Corps of Engineers fuckkkkks", ">\n\nGoddammit I just bought my 2023 calendar too lol", ">\n\nThat’s cute though, not worrisome like a lot of other r/nottheonion posts.", ">\n\nAs ever, the Army Corps of Engineers are the one branch of the US state that can get the important shit done", ">\n\nFrom the comments ITT it's evident that most people are unaware of how important they are to the lives of the majority of productive people in this country (people who live near a coastline or a major body of water). It's not just dams and rivers, it's the actual physical coastline of america that they look after.", ">\n\nYup, it seems double edged- people think oh, they're the army corps and assumes they must be doing only military stuff. But equally if it was civilianised no doubt it'd be a target for cuts. An incredible org, regardless. And whether it's cats or weather or warming or the collapse of neglected infrastructure they're going to get more and more important so it's a damn good thing they exist because in 2023, nobody would invent them...", ">\n\nUSACE is an agency that is funded by the DOD but is vastly ran by civilians. There are very few enlisted or commissioned people in the army corps.", ">\n\nOK this is a thing and this is awesome", ">\n\nOops, I had \"Zombie Redneck Torture Family\" in the betting pool.", ">\n\nGrumble. Never gonna see a merman...", ">\n\nUSACE Portland District is one of the absolute best public sector social media presences out there. Seriously. Check it out.", ">\n\nCats in military pictures is an entire IG channel", ">\n\nGood boot", ">\n\nCommand team must be TDY", ">\n\nThat was even better than the title made me think it would be.", ">\n\nI support my tax dollars going to causes such as this.", ">\n\nFinally tax dollars doing something good", ">\n\nI’m kind of disappointed. From the title, I thought there would be photos of actual big cats attacking infrastructure, not photoshopped domestic cats. Anyone have a photo of a puma going after an electrical substation? Or a tiger gnawing on a water line?", ">\n\nNo. No one has that. Would be very interesting though to compile a calendar like that. Peace brother.", ">\n\nGreat, now I need a color printer.\nSeriously, thank you u/radioman8414!", ">\n\nThis is how I want my tax money spent. Downloaded and put up in my office!", ">\n\nThe regional social media guy who put this together is constantly hilarious", ">\n\nGreatest calendar of 2023.", ">\n\nI need one of these for my office! I've worked on some of these dams!", ">\n\nCan I ask you some dam questions?? I’m sure you know a lot of dam information. I’m sure all of us would love some dam stories. Thank you.", ">\n\nSure way to have a more interesting calendar than just infrastructure.", ">\n\nI would so adopt one if they existed.", ">\n\nI've heard army corps of engineers are very difficult to house train. May want to consider before adopting one.", ">\n\nTouché.", ">\n\nThat's amazing, thank you for posting it!", ">\n\nIs there anywhere to buy a nice physical copy of the calendar?", ">\n\nThose cats are mind-controlled by taxoplasmosis alien ameobas!", ">\n\nI was thinking this was gonna be mountain lions taking out maintenance huts or something like that. This is so much better", ">\n\nI’m the daughter of a former Portland, Oregon, US Army Corps Engineer, and I can confirm they are a strange crew. It makes me view the dams on the Columbia River fondly?", ">\n\nI love this so much.", ">\n\nDude. Awesome.", ">\n\nI love this! My astronomy teacher once did a talk on space cats. It was hysterical. Out of the blue he showed us pictures of space with cats added in. He felt we needed a fun class for laughs. I want this calendar.", ">\n\nThis would be really cool if they got a decent digital artist. But they didn't, they used photoshop about as well as I can.", ">\n\nI think that adds to the charm", ">\n\nDon't even need to see it, where can I buy it", ">\n\nFrom the link - \"Because the Army Corps is a Government Agency, the calendar is in public domain and totally free to download and print\"", ">\n\nThis is so funny, because it’s my Dad’s old workplace (from 1971 until he retired). My father, however, has zero sense of humor so he’d never work on something like this.", ">\n\nI met a guy from the Army Corps of Engineers when I worked for the EPA. Smartest guy I've ever met and the 2nd most hippe like person I've ever met. I'd like to think he had something to do with this idea.", ">\n\nFinally the massive military budget of the US is put to good use.", ">\n\nThis is awesome. I might have to buy one.", ">\n\nNo need. It's free, though you have to print it yourself if you want a physical copy", ">\n\nThis is so adorable! I approve wholeheartedly.", ">\n\nIt's about time.", ">\n\nSappers lead the way", ">\n\nI have so much love for this.", ">\n\nEhisssayons.", ">\n\nLove it.", ">\n\nUnintended benefits of relaxed Marijuana policies :)", ">\n\nUsace has not relaxed cannabis policies. No federal agency has", ">\n\nThey certainly have relaxed policy, even though federal law hasn't changed. It's legal in my state and the current administration has announced they won't be pursuing user level Marijuana charges at the federal level.\nWake up.", ">\n\nUSACE still falls under the same policies as the rest of the army. They're treated as DA civilians, and subject to periodic biochemical testing and the resultant consequences if they pee hot. The army has, and will not in the foreseeable future, relax any policy regarding marijuana.", ">\n\nAdorable idea; wish they had hired someone better at photoshop", ">\n\nIts a free gag calendar that was probably just put together by someone for fun in their spare time. Considering the state of infrastructure in the US I don't imagine the Corps of Engineers has a lot of extra spending money to throw around", ">\n\nIf they were smart, they would print it for us and sell it. I don't want a crappy calender that I printed on regular paper, I want the real thing and I would be glad to pay for it.", ">\n\nGenius!! This needs to be a trend. Reddit, make it so...", ">\n\nfuck yeah we finally gonna balance the budget", ">\n\nDecember's hilarious. I want this calender.", ">\n\nYou can totally tell that this is not real. The lighting on the cats is so obviously different than the environmental mistake. Pathetic effort infrastructure geeks.", ">\n\nSo they can blame cats for shoddy workmanship and lax maintenance.", ">\n\nDon't capitalize \"Of\" in titles", ">\n\nWish they'd focus on not taking eight years to permit a fucking project, those lazy excuses for engineers.", ">\n\nYou’re crazy dude. These peeps have built some amazing things. Extremely impressive.", ">\n\nThey used to.", ">\n\n😂", ">\n\nThis whole absurd thing is exactly my sense of humour. LOVE it.", ">\n\nOregon! I've seen the one at Detroit Dam. Sneaky bugger. Hangs out with Bigfoot.", ">\n\nI need this", ">\n\nThat's some adorable terrorism right there.", ">\n\nI remember seeing them, on quad bikes, with a lot of equipment, on Myrtle Beach beaches, I always wondered what they were doing...", ">\n\nI love this sequel to Beginning of the End!", ">\n\nIs there a way I can buy a physical version?", ">\n\nThey're Demo-cats!", ">\n\nAny recommendations of the best way to get this printed semi-professionally? I tried checking Costco photo centre but they make you use a template.", ">\n\nOf course it’s Portland.", ">\n\nKind of disappointing I can't actually buy a printed one. My daughter would love this.", ">\n\nA pretty good idea for a poster. Who doesn't like cats being cats?", ">\n\nI really wish I had become a part of the ACOE but my mother didn't want her only son in the military.", ">\n\nUsace has civilian positions you're employed by the army, but you don't go through basic", ">\n\nI hope they pay more than Nidec.", ">\n\nThanks for sharing! Downloaded and got my new Lock Screen wallpaper.", ">\n\nDecember is 🔥", ">\n\nObligatory Cat Dynamics", ">\n\nPoliticians will say this is the proof of the REAL reason of why our infrastructure is deteriorating, then vote in a measure to hire their friends and family to counter this threat.", ">\n\nI didnt know cats were domestic terrorists like Republicans. lol", ">\n\nThis is the only kind of apocalypse I could see myself getting excited about.", ">\n\nAugust a missed opportunity to have CAT Excavators.", ">\n\nYou have my attention.", ">\n\nSmart move", ">\n\nGod help us.", ">\n\nBest thing to come out of the Army post WWII.", ">\n\n🤔", ">\n\n\"Let's write a two paragraph article about something freely available on the internet and make absolutely no attempt to actually tell you where to find it\".", ">\n\nCatjira!", ">\n\nhilarious!", ">\n\nFinally", ">\n\nThis is the oniony-est story I’ve seen on here in a while", ">\n\nCant wait for the next spending bill to include cat proofing our infrastructure", ">\n\nHonestly… I’d buy it.", ">\n\nWish I would have heard of that in November or so. This seems unique, fun and a great idea for a calendar.", ">\n\nI heard about this from Last Podcast on the Left, glad to see it pop up on my feed with pictures!", ">\n\nI'm gonna need an NSN For that...", ">\n\nOf course it’s the Portland District", ">\n\nHonestly this is worth buying", ">\n\nIm not a cat person, but I would buy the calendar.", ">\n\nAny way to view the album without losing my mind on that website? God it's shit on mobile.", ">\n\nI especially love how June just looks like a well framed optical illusion photo.", ">\n\nThis is cute and all, but man, it seems a little poor in taste that August is a kitty-shaped military drone blowing up an Iraqi preschool", ">\n\nWhat did Oregon do to deserve this", ">\n\nGee I read that and instantly I thought they had done a study and released an estimated calendar of when an where giant cats would attack infrastructure in 2023. Phew.", ">\n\nOn that day, humanity received a grim reminder…", ">\n\nah yes\nPortland keeping it weird again", ">\n\nit’s cute, but who wrote the copy?", ">\n\nAmazing", ">\n\neverything changed when the cat nation attacked", ">\n\nI'm into it", ">\n\nnow this is what I want my tax dollars going towards", ">\n\nI'd love to believe that there was some huge misunderstanding and somewhere someone had actually meant CATs like the company with the big heavy machinery", ">\n\nThe word \"attacking\" is doing a lot of work here", ">\n\nW", ">\n\nLook, I’m pretty anti-government, but this I can get behind", ">\n\nCattack on titan", ">\n\nI'm a civil engineer.\nI would fucking LOVE this.\nThis'll go good in my office next to my other engineering / math punny comics.\nLike this one.\nOr this one.\nOr, maybe this one.", ">\n\nThe Only well spent part of the military budget", ">\n\nI might buy it", ">\n\nWhat the fuck is that website", ">\n\nThis is great!", ">\n\nAugust is great.", ">\n\nNow the real MVP will tell us how to print this like an actual calendar.", ">\n\nThe only thing worthy of my tax dollars that the military has done this year.", ">\n\nOk, now we need a class II space laser pointer to distract the giant cats away from vital infrastructure.", ">\n\nThey all are so good. My favorite is May, then September.", ">\n\nOh... good.", ">\n\nThose paragraphs are hilarious.", ">\n\nNow THIS is news!", ">\n\nCatcatae", ">\n\nThey would, if they could.", ">\n\nOmg yes. Need.", ">\n\n\"attacking\" lol", ">\n\nThere’s a great Twitter user called Giant Military Cats or something like that where the user does much the same. \nSeems like a kind, lonely soul who revels in people thanking them. Give it a look", ">\n\nNot oniony, really… just awesome.", ">\n\nThis is what our tax dollars should be used for", ">\n\nThis is why shit takes forever to get built when the government is involved. Now it all make sense...", ">\n\nI love it, but the cats seemed poorly photoshopped in", ">\n\nThey're engineers, not graphic artists.", ">\n\nGotta normalize death and murder in any way possible. Next up, an E-sports tournament hosted by Army Recruiters! Complete with twitch ads and tik tok videos!", ">\n\nThis is the Army Corps of Engineers. They're more Bob the Builder than G.I. Joe.", ">\n\nThey literally hosted a twitch e sports tournament.", ">\n\nWas it City Skylines or Minecraft?" ]

[ "Imagine the work order. \nYour boss comes to you and says, \"Hey, you're in charge of the cats calendar.\"\n\"What calendar?\"\n\"The one with cats attacking infrastructure?\"\n\"What?\"", ">\n\nyou miss ONE day...", ">\n\nHail Vectron!", ">\n\nBy Vectron!", ">\n\nFor those yet to experience the holy might of Vectron's kindly claw", ">\n\nThank you. I had no idea.", ">\n\nYou are most welcome by Vectron", ">\n\nFor the love of all that is Vectron, your speech warms my Vectronic heart.", ">\n\nMay Vectron’s beard shed its benevolence upon us. 🙏🏻🙏🏻", ">\n\nAnd may all of his correspondence to us be sent Vectronically. So it is written, so shall it be done.", ">\n\nI live in Oregon and started to recognize a bunch of the dams, so I was like, “huh, that’s kinda cool.” Then I saw the text at the bottom of the first page. Portland District. Now a cat calendar makes perfect sense.", ">\n\nSame thing happened to me. I think I'm going to head to kinko's and have them print it out for me.", ">\n\nTell them you need to print some important official military documents before you show them what it is", ">\n\nDon’t forget to tell them you need it right meow!", ">\n\nWho will protect our infrastructure from this menace?", ">\n\nAn array of laser pointers.", ">\n\ncut to giant laser pointer satellite", ">\n\nomigod the jewish space lasers were real", ">\n\n*meowish space lasers", ">\n\nHey that's racist", ">\n\nI think it would be cheaper to buy a calendar than use the ink/toner required to print it.", ">\n\nThat's why you print it at work.", ">\n\nhaha true, oh wait I work from home...", ">\n\nIf you print from home for work you can write printer supplies off on your taxes :)", ">\n\nUh yes boss I needed a calendar, so… oh what? Use the company one? Ummm but the US army has a really nice one and I thought I’d be patriotic - what? Oh, yeah I know we’re in Canada, I just…", ">\n\nPortland is pretty much wannabe Vancouver, BC. I say it goes!", ">\n\nExactly what a Canadian would say...", ">\n\nGoodies, goodie goodie, yum yum.", ">\n\nI just scrolled until I found The Goodies reference but was wondering if I was going to find one at all.", ">\n\nIt's way down the list, isn't it? \n/knees hurt.", ">\n\nOw, my back! Get off my lawn!", ">\n\nOne engineer did it in his free time, and released it for use through the corps. \nThis was NOT government funded.", ">\n\nEven if it was government funded, I support this.", ">\n\nEven if it was government funded it would've been like maybe one day of pay at most? Not a ton for the amount of publicity they'll get that might make them even more money.", ">\n\nAssuming they already have the infrastructure pictures I would be surprised if it took more than 4 work hours. Also for chronically underfunded agencies that kind of PR is exactly how you get voters to convince the politicians to increase funds. I look forward to NASA figuring out how to photoshop giant cats playing with the planets like balls of yarn for their calendar", ">\n\n\nI look forward to NASA figuring out how to photoshop giant cats playing with the planets like balls of yarn for their calendar \n\nWell let me introduce you to the most bizarre social media messaging from an official U.S. government agency: The U.S. Consumer Product Safety Commission's Instagram feed. \nAnd before I catch any \"there's no way this is real\" replies, here's the Washington Post covering it: \n\nHow a federal bureaucrat uses astronaut babies and dogs riding pigeons to try to save your life", ">\n\nThis is rad!", ">\n\nCISA losing their shit rn", ">\n\nI would like one.", ">\n\nIt's a free PDF.", ">\n\nNo he would like one of the cats", ">\n\nyOu wOuLdN'T DoWnloAd a cAT", ">\n\nI can’t believe they included Sherlock getting knocked off a cliff. At least he didn’t jump this time.", ">\n\nI'm shocked that you're the only person I've seen comment on this so far! it's hilarious", ">\n\n\"Every year, dozens of cats attack important infrastructure for our country causing dozens of dollars of damage. Won't you help?\"", ">\n\nI heard this with Sarah McLoughlin's voice", ">\n\nArmy Cats", ">\n\nNow do it with pictures of our crumbling infrastructure.", ">\n\nThis seems like one of those things that is somehow going to age poorly given our Universe's current sense of irony. I don't know how exactly, but there's going to be some mass tragedy involving cats and a suspension bridge or something this year.", ">\n\nThe first image kind of reads like \"this infrastructure is super important so don't damage it\". The calendar almost seems like a shopping list for domestic terrorists or something lol.", ">\n\nI mean, pretty obvious that dams, substations, bridges and the like are good targets for chaos. Google maps gives you all this plus Police stations and everything, with photos and the address. Useless to worry about it", ">\n\nSeriously, anyone who unironicly think terrorists were waiting for a cat calendar to list a bunch of locations to bomb is paranoid about the wrong things.", ">\n\nCats would hunt and eat us if they were bigger than us", ">\n\nThey already do, they are called Tigers.", ">\n\nIf there were smaller tigers, we would keep them as pets, but they'd break all our stuff to prove they're still in charge.", ">\n\nThey already do, they are called Cats.", ">\n\nOH MY GOD!", ">\n\nMy tabby is a cute little tiger", ">\n\nI knew we had infrastructure challenges, but I didn't realize we were facing an infrastructure cat-astrophe!", ">\n\nTake my r/angryupvote", ">\n\nI love how shitty the photoshop is. Really ties it all together", ">\n\nYeah I like the idea--but the pictures chosen and color grading are all off. I'd like this idea better executed more professionally.", ">\n\nOh no I'm serious. The unprofessionalism is the best part. I would absolutely pay money for this", ">\n\nOnly only thing weirder is gonna be their crazy ass plan to save the infrastructure.", ">\n\nIt's the engineer Corp, they can build giant cat carriers.", ">\n\nI guess anything beats the 40 million they spend on viagra to keep the soldiers saluting.", ">\n\nThis is delightful", ">\n\ni was imagining mountain lions breaking in to dumpsters or something, not giant house cats gnawing on substations, not disappointed.", ">\n\nI don’t need a calendar now that our pocket rectangles handle all of that for us, but I really want this calendar.", ">\n\nIt is really convenient to just walk by my schedule versus having to pull it up, scroll, click and expand. I tend to forget about things if I don’t see it in front of me, but that’s just how my brain works. Plus if you’re on the phone trying to schedule something it’s nice to write it out too.", ">\n\nI'm sorry, we're already booked for giant spiders.", ">\n\nI personally kinda love this.", ">\n\nBest use of a miniscule amount of our tax dollars in the entire US $1.7T budget. US Army Corp wins the internet today!", ">\n\nHonestly, the entire army corps of engineers may be one of highest rates of return on public good vs funding", ">\n\nSeriously. They do a shit ton of quality and important public work on a relatively shoe-string budget for engineering. I have a lot of respect for the people that work at the USACOE.", ">\n\nSeptember, now that one is art", ">\n\nHaters will say it's Photoshop.", ">\n\nThey’ve never seen Catzilla.", ">\n\nHero of the Week! Hail yourself!", ">\n\nThere it is!", ">\n\n\nThe Army Corps Of Engineers Has Released a 2023 Calendar Of Giant Cats Attacking <\n\nr/brand new sentence \nAlso, giant cats attacking infrastructure is so 2020. In 2023 it just sounds silly.", ">\n\nSeptember ❤️", ">\n\nOmg. I love this. Especially the text blurbs on the pictures. Very funny and adorable!", ">\n\nSounds like they understand cats are required if you want social media traction", ">\n\nI have never wanted to buy a calendar more than I do now!", ">\n\nOn the one hand, I applaud the idea.\nOn the other hand, the photoshop skills look like they came from the army corps of engineers.", ">\n\nWould you actually want them to look like they were perfectly matched to each environment? I'm pretty sure the comedic effect is all that matters here.\nAnd besides, it was just one engineer that created this on their spare time, rather than an official ACE production.", ">\n\nI was mainly being a bit snarky because the internet. That, and what I said was objectively true.", ">\n\nCan confirm, the Corps of Engineers fuckkkkks", ">\n\nGoddammit I just bought my 2023 calendar too lol", ">\n\nThat’s cute though, not worrisome like a lot of other r/nottheonion posts.", ">\n\nAs ever, the Army Corps of Engineers are the one branch of the US state that can get the important shit done", ">\n\nFrom the comments ITT it's evident that most people are unaware of how important they are to the lives of the majority of productive people in this country (people who live near a coastline or a major body of water). It's not just dams and rivers, it's the actual physical coastline of america that they look after.", ">\n\nYup, it seems double edged- people think oh, they're the army corps and assumes they must be doing only military stuff. But equally if it was civilianised no doubt it'd be a target for cuts. An incredible org, regardless. And whether it's cats or weather or warming or the collapse of neglected infrastructure they're going to get more and more important so it's a damn good thing they exist because in 2023, nobody would invent them...", ">\n\nUSACE is an agency that is funded by the DOD but is vastly ran by civilians. There are very few enlisted or commissioned people in the army corps.", ">\n\nOK this is a thing and this is awesome", ">\n\nOops, I had \"Zombie Redneck Torture Family\" in the betting pool.", ">\n\nGrumble. Never gonna see a merman...", ">\n\nUSACE Portland District is one of the absolute best public sector social media presences out there. Seriously. Check it out.", ">\n\nCats in military pictures is an entire IG channel", ">\n\nGood boot", ">\n\nCommand team must be TDY", ">\n\nThat was even better than the title made me think it would be.", ">\n\nI support my tax dollars going to causes such as this.", ">\n\nFinally tax dollars doing something good", ">\n\nI’m kind of disappointed. From the title, I thought there would be photos of actual big cats attacking infrastructure, not photoshopped domestic cats. Anyone have a photo of a puma going after an electrical substation? Or a tiger gnawing on a water line?", ">\n\nNo. No one has that. Would be very interesting though to compile a calendar like that. Peace brother.", ">\n\nGreat, now I need a color printer.\nSeriously, thank you u/radioman8414!", ">\n\nThis is how I want my tax money spent. Downloaded and put up in my office!", ">\n\nThe regional social media guy who put this together is constantly hilarious", ">\n\nGreatest calendar of 2023.", ">\n\nI need one of these for my office! I've worked on some of these dams!", ">\n\nCan I ask you some dam questions?? I’m sure you know a lot of dam information. I’m sure all of us would love some dam stories. Thank you.", ">\n\nSure way to have a more interesting calendar than just infrastructure.", ">\n\nI would so adopt one if they existed.", ">\n\nI've heard army corps of engineers are very difficult to house train. May want to consider before adopting one.", ">\n\nTouché.", ">\n\nThat's amazing, thank you for posting it!", ">\n\nIs there anywhere to buy a nice physical copy of the calendar?", ">\n\nThose cats are mind-controlled by taxoplasmosis alien ameobas!", ">\n\nI was thinking this was gonna be mountain lions taking out maintenance huts or something like that. This is so much better", ">\n\nI’m the daughter of a former Portland, Oregon, US Army Corps Engineer, and I can confirm they are a strange crew. It makes me view the dams on the Columbia River fondly?", ">\n\nI love this so much.", ">\n\nDude. Awesome.", ">\n\nI love this! My astronomy teacher once did a talk on space cats. It was hysterical. Out of the blue he showed us pictures of space with cats added in. He felt we needed a fun class for laughs. I want this calendar.", ">\n\nThis would be really cool if they got a decent digital artist. But they didn't, they used photoshop about as well as I can.", ">\n\nI think that adds to the charm", ">\n\nDon't even need to see it, where can I buy it", ">\n\nFrom the link - \"Because the Army Corps is a Government Agency, the calendar is in public domain and totally free to download and print\"", ">\n\nThis is so funny, because it’s my Dad’s old workplace (from 1971 until he retired). My father, however, has zero sense of humor so he’d never work on something like this.", ">\n\nI met a guy from the Army Corps of Engineers when I worked for the EPA. Smartest guy I've ever met and the 2nd most hippe like person I've ever met. I'd like to think he had something to do with this idea.", ">\n\nFinally the massive military budget of the US is put to good use.", ">\n\nThis is awesome. I might have to buy one.", ">\n\nNo need. It's free, though you have to print it yourself if you want a physical copy", ">\n\nThis is so adorable! I approve wholeheartedly.", ">\n\nIt's about time.", ">\n\nSappers lead the way", ">\n\nI have so much love for this.", ">\n\nEhisssayons.", ">\n\nLove it.", ">\n\nUnintended benefits of relaxed Marijuana policies :)", ">\n\nUsace has not relaxed cannabis policies. No federal agency has", ">\n\nThey certainly have relaxed policy, even though federal law hasn't changed. It's legal in my state and the current administration has announced they won't be pursuing user level Marijuana charges at the federal level.\nWake up.", ">\n\nUSACE still falls under the same policies as the rest of the army. They're treated as DA civilians, and subject to periodic biochemical testing and the resultant consequences if they pee hot. The army has, and will not in the foreseeable future, relax any policy regarding marijuana.", ">\n\nAdorable idea; wish they had hired someone better at photoshop", ">\n\nIts a free gag calendar that was probably just put together by someone for fun in their spare time. Considering the state of infrastructure in the US I don't imagine the Corps of Engineers has a lot of extra spending money to throw around", ">\n\nIf they were smart, they would print it for us and sell it. I don't want a crappy calender that I printed on regular paper, I want the real thing and I would be glad to pay for it.", ">\n\nGenius!! This needs to be a trend. Reddit, make it so...", ">\n\nfuck yeah we finally gonna balance the budget", ">\n\nDecember's hilarious. I want this calender.", ">\n\nYou can totally tell that this is not real. The lighting on the cats is so obviously different than the environmental mistake. Pathetic effort infrastructure geeks.", ">\n\nSo they can blame cats for shoddy workmanship and lax maintenance.", ">\n\nDon't capitalize \"Of\" in titles", ">\n\nWish they'd focus on not taking eight years to permit a fucking project, those lazy excuses for engineers.", ">\n\nYou’re crazy dude. These peeps have built some amazing things. Extremely impressive.", ">\n\nThey used to.", ">\n\n😂", ">\n\nThis whole absurd thing is exactly my sense of humour. LOVE it.", ">\n\nOregon! I've seen the one at Detroit Dam. Sneaky bugger. Hangs out with Bigfoot.", ">\n\nI need this", ">\n\nThat's some adorable terrorism right there.", ">\n\nI remember seeing them, on quad bikes, with a lot of equipment, on Myrtle Beach beaches, I always wondered what they were doing...", ">\n\nI love this sequel to Beginning of the End!", ">\n\nIs there a way I can buy a physical version?", ">\n\nThey're Demo-cats!", ">\n\nAny recommendations of the best way to get this printed semi-professionally? I tried checking Costco photo centre but they make you use a template.", ">\n\nOf course it’s Portland.", ">\n\nKind of disappointing I can't actually buy a printed one. My daughter would love this.", ">\n\nA pretty good idea for a poster. Who doesn't like cats being cats?", ">\n\nI really wish I had become a part of the ACOE but my mother didn't want her only son in the military.", ">\n\nUsace has civilian positions you're employed by the army, but you don't go through basic", ">\n\nI hope they pay more than Nidec.", ">\n\nThanks for sharing! Downloaded and got my new Lock Screen wallpaper.", ">\n\nDecember is 🔥", ">\n\nObligatory Cat Dynamics", ">\n\nPoliticians will say this is the proof of the REAL reason of why our infrastructure is deteriorating, then vote in a measure to hire their friends and family to counter this threat.", ">\n\nI didnt know cats were domestic terrorists like Republicans. lol", ">\n\nThis is the only kind of apocalypse I could see myself getting excited about.", ">\n\nAugust a missed opportunity to have CAT Excavators.", ">\n\nYou have my attention.", ">\n\nSmart move", ">\n\nGod help us.", ">\n\nBest thing to come out of the Army post WWII.", ">\n\n🤔", ">\n\n\"Let's write a two paragraph article about something freely available on the internet and make absolutely no attempt to actually tell you where to find it\".", ">\n\nCatjira!", ">\n\nhilarious!", ">\n\nFinally", ">\n\nThis is the oniony-est story I’ve seen on here in a while", ">\n\nCant wait for the next spending bill to include cat proofing our infrastructure", ">\n\nHonestly… I’d buy it.", ">\n\nWish I would have heard of that in November or so. This seems unique, fun and a great idea for a calendar.", ">\n\nI heard about this from Last Podcast on the Left, glad to see it pop up on my feed with pictures!", ">\n\nI'm gonna need an NSN For that...", ">\n\nOf course it’s the Portland District", ">\n\nHonestly this is worth buying", ">\n\nIm not a cat person, but I would buy the calendar.", ">\n\nAny way to view the album without losing my mind on that website? God it's shit on mobile.", ">\n\nI especially love how June just looks like a well framed optical illusion photo.", ">\n\nThis is cute and all, but man, it seems a little poor in taste that August is a kitty-shaped military drone blowing up an Iraqi preschool", ">\n\nWhat did Oregon do to deserve this", ">\n\nGee I read that and instantly I thought they had done a study and released an estimated calendar of when an where giant cats would attack infrastructure in 2023. Phew.", ">\n\nOn that day, humanity received a grim reminder…", ">\n\nah yes\nPortland keeping it weird again", ">\n\nit’s cute, but who wrote the copy?", ">\n\nAmazing", ">\n\neverything changed when the cat nation attacked", ">\n\nI'm into it", ">\n\nnow this is what I want my tax dollars going towards", ">\n\nI'd love to believe that there was some huge misunderstanding and somewhere someone had actually meant CATs like the company with the big heavy machinery", ">\n\nThe word \"attacking\" is doing a lot of work here", ">\n\nW", ">\n\nLook, I’m pretty anti-government, but this I can get behind", ">\n\nCattack on titan", ">\n\nI'm a civil engineer.\nI would fucking LOVE this.\nThis'll go good in my office next to my other engineering / math punny comics.\nLike this one.\nOr this one.\nOr, maybe this one.", ">\n\nThe Only well spent part of the military budget", ">\n\nI might buy it", ">\n\nWhat the fuck is that website", ">\n\nThis is great!", ">\n\nAugust is great.", ">\n\nNow the real MVP will tell us how to print this like an actual calendar.", ">\n\nThe only thing worthy of my tax dollars that the military has done this year.", ">\n\nOk, now we need a class II space laser pointer to distract the giant cats away from vital infrastructure.", ">\n\nThey all are so good. My favorite is May, then September.", ">\n\nOh... good.", ">\n\nThose paragraphs are hilarious.", ">\n\nNow THIS is news!", ">\n\nCatcatae", ">\n\nThey would, if they could.", ">\n\nOmg yes. Need.", ">\n\n\"attacking\" lol", ">\n\nThere’s a great Twitter user called Giant Military Cats or something like that where the user does much the same. \nSeems like a kind, lonely soul who revels in people thanking them. Give it a look", ">\n\nNot oniony, really… just awesome.", ">\n\nThis is what our tax dollars should be used for", ">\n\nThis is why shit takes forever to get built when the government is involved. Now it all make sense...", ">\n\nI love it, but the cats seemed poorly photoshopped in", ">\n\nThey're engineers, not graphic artists.", ">\n\nGotta normalize death and murder in any way possible. Next up, an E-sports tournament hosted by Army Recruiters! Complete with twitch ads and tik tok videos!", ">\n\nThis is the Army Corps of Engineers. They're more Bob the Builder than G.I. Joe.", ">\n\nThey literally hosted a twitch e sports tournament.", ">\n\nWas it City Skylines or Minecraft?", ">\n\nPainfully bad photoshop too…" ]

[ "Imagine the work order. \nYour boss comes to you and says, \"Hey, you're in charge of the cats calendar.\"\n\"What calendar?\"\n\"The one with cats attacking infrastructure?\"\n\"What?\"", ">\n\nyou miss ONE day...", ">\n\nHail Vectron!", ">\n\nBy Vectron!", ">\n\nFor those yet to experience the holy might of Vectron's kindly claw", ">\n\nThank you. I had no idea.", ">\n\nYou are most welcome by Vectron", ">\n\nFor the love of all that is Vectron, your speech warms my Vectronic heart.", ">\n\nMay Vectron’s beard shed its benevolence upon us. 🙏🏻🙏🏻", ">\n\nAnd may all of his correspondence to us be sent Vectronically. So it is written, so shall it be done.", ">\n\nI live in Oregon and started to recognize a bunch of the dams, so I was like, “huh, that’s kinda cool.” Then I saw the text at the bottom of the first page. Portland District. Now a cat calendar makes perfect sense.", ">\n\nSame thing happened to me. I think I'm going to head to kinko's and have them print it out for me.", ">\n\nTell them you need to print some important official military documents before you show them what it is", ">\n\nDon’t forget to tell them you need it right meow!", ">\n\nWho will protect our infrastructure from this menace?", ">\n\nAn array of laser pointers.", ">\n\ncut to giant laser pointer satellite", ">\n\nomigod the jewish space lasers were real", ">\n\n*meowish space lasers", ">\n\nHey that's racist", ">\n\nI think it would be cheaper to buy a calendar than use the ink/toner required to print it.", ">\n\nThat's why you print it at work.", ">\n\nhaha true, oh wait I work from home...", ">\n\nIf you print from home for work you can write printer supplies off on your taxes :)", ">\n\nUh yes boss I needed a calendar, so… oh what? Use the company one? Ummm but the US army has a really nice one and I thought I’d be patriotic - what? Oh, yeah I know we’re in Canada, I just…", ">\n\nPortland is pretty much wannabe Vancouver, BC. I say it goes!", ">\n\nExactly what a Canadian would say...", ">\n\nGoodies, goodie goodie, yum yum.", ">\n\nI just scrolled until I found The Goodies reference but was wondering if I was going to find one at all.", ">\n\nIt's way down the list, isn't it? \n/knees hurt.", ">\n\nOw, my back! Get off my lawn!", ">\n\nOne engineer did it in his free time, and released it for use through the corps. \nThis was NOT government funded.", ">\n\nEven if it was government funded, I support this.", ">\n\nEven if it was government funded it would've been like maybe one day of pay at most? Not a ton for the amount of publicity they'll get that might make them even more money.", ">\n\nAssuming they already have the infrastructure pictures I would be surprised if it took more than 4 work hours. Also for chronically underfunded agencies that kind of PR is exactly how you get voters to convince the politicians to increase funds. I look forward to NASA figuring out how to photoshop giant cats playing with the planets like balls of yarn for their calendar", ">\n\n\nI look forward to NASA figuring out how to photoshop giant cats playing with the planets like balls of yarn for their calendar \n\nWell let me introduce you to the most bizarre social media messaging from an official U.S. government agency: The U.S. Consumer Product Safety Commission's Instagram feed. \nAnd before I catch any \"there's no way this is real\" replies, here's the Washington Post covering it: \n\nHow a federal bureaucrat uses astronaut babies and dogs riding pigeons to try to save your life", ">\n\nThis is rad!", ">\n\nCISA losing their shit rn", ">\n\nI would like one.", ">\n\nIt's a free PDF.", ">\n\nNo he would like one of the cats", ">\n\nyOu wOuLdN'T DoWnloAd a cAT", ">\n\nI can’t believe they included Sherlock getting knocked off a cliff. At least he didn’t jump this time.", ">\n\nI'm shocked that you're the only person I've seen comment on this so far! it's hilarious", ">\n\n\"Every year, dozens of cats attack important infrastructure for our country causing dozens of dollars of damage. Won't you help?\"", ">\n\nI heard this with Sarah McLoughlin's voice", ">\n\nArmy Cats", ">\n\nNow do it with pictures of our crumbling infrastructure.", ">\n\nThis seems like one of those things that is somehow going to age poorly given our Universe's current sense of irony. I don't know how exactly, but there's going to be some mass tragedy involving cats and a suspension bridge or something this year.", ">\n\nThe first image kind of reads like \"this infrastructure is super important so don't damage it\". The calendar almost seems like a shopping list for domestic terrorists or something lol.", ">\n\nI mean, pretty obvious that dams, substations, bridges and the like are good targets for chaos. Google maps gives you all this plus Police stations and everything, with photos and the address. Useless to worry about it", ">\n\nSeriously, anyone who unironicly think terrorists were waiting for a cat calendar to list a bunch of locations to bomb is paranoid about the wrong things.", ">\n\nCats would hunt and eat us if they were bigger than us", ">\n\nThey already do, they are called Tigers.", ">\n\nIf there were smaller tigers, we would keep them as pets, but they'd break all our stuff to prove they're still in charge.", ">\n\nThey already do, they are called Cats.", ">\n\nOH MY GOD!", ">\n\nMy tabby is a cute little tiger", ">\n\nI knew we had infrastructure challenges, but I didn't realize we were facing an infrastructure cat-astrophe!", ">\n\nTake my r/angryupvote", ">\n\nI love how shitty the photoshop is. Really ties it all together", ">\n\nYeah I like the idea--but the pictures chosen and color grading are all off. I'd like this idea better executed more professionally.", ">\n\nOh no I'm serious. The unprofessionalism is the best part. I would absolutely pay money for this", ">\n\nOnly only thing weirder is gonna be their crazy ass plan to save the infrastructure.", ">\n\nIt's the engineer Corp, they can build giant cat carriers.", ">\n\nI guess anything beats the 40 million they spend on viagra to keep the soldiers saluting.", ">\n\nThis is delightful", ">\n\ni was imagining mountain lions breaking in to dumpsters or something, not giant house cats gnawing on substations, not disappointed.", ">\n\nI don’t need a calendar now that our pocket rectangles handle all of that for us, but I really want this calendar.", ">\n\nIt is really convenient to just walk by my schedule versus having to pull it up, scroll, click and expand. I tend to forget about things if I don’t see it in front of me, but that’s just how my brain works. Plus if you’re on the phone trying to schedule something it’s nice to write it out too.", ">\n\nI'm sorry, we're already booked for giant spiders.", ">\n\nI personally kinda love this.", ">\n\nBest use of a miniscule amount of our tax dollars in the entire US $1.7T budget. US Army Corp wins the internet today!", ">\n\nHonestly, the entire army corps of engineers may be one of highest rates of return on public good vs funding", ">\n\nSeriously. They do a shit ton of quality and important public work on a relatively shoe-string budget for engineering. I have a lot of respect for the people that work at the USACOE.", ">\n\nSeptember, now that one is art", ">\n\nHaters will say it's Photoshop.", ">\n\nThey’ve never seen Catzilla.", ">\n\nHero of the Week! Hail yourself!", ">\n\nThere it is!", ">\n\n\nThe Army Corps Of Engineers Has Released a 2023 Calendar Of Giant Cats Attacking <\n\nr/brand new sentence \nAlso, giant cats attacking infrastructure is so 2020. In 2023 it just sounds silly.", ">\n\nSeptember ❤️", ">\n\nOmg. I love this. Especially the text blurbs on the pictures. Very funny and adorable!", ">\n\nSounds like they understand cats are required if you want social media traction", ">\n\nI have never wanted to buy a calendar more than I do now!", ">\n\nOn the one hand, I applaud the idea.\nOn the other hand, the photoshop skills look like they came from the army corps of engineers.", ">\n\nWould you actually want them to look like they were perfectly matched to each environment? I'm pretty sure the comedic effect is all that matters here.\nAnd besides, it was just one engineer that created this on their spare time, rather than an official ACE production.", ">\n\nI was mainly being a bit snarky because the internet. That, and what I said was objectively true.", ">\n\nCan confirm, the Corps of Engineers fuckkkkks", ">\n\nGoddammit I just bought my 2023 calendar too lol", ">\n\nThat’s cute though, not worrisome like a lot of other r/nottheonion posts.", ">\n\nAs ever, the Army Corps of Engineers are the one branch of the US state that can get the important shit done", ">\n\nFrom the comments ITT it's evident that most people are unaware of how important they are to the lives of the majority of productive people in this country (people who live near a coastline or a major body of water). It's not just dams and rivers, it's the actual physical coastline of america that they look after.", ">\n\nYup, it seems double edged- people think oh, they're the army corps and assumes they must be doing only military stuff. But equally if it was civilianised no doubt it'd be a target for cuts. An incredible org, regardless. And whether it's cats or weather or warming or the collapse of neglected infrastructure they're going to get more and more important so it's a damn good thing they exist because in 2023, nobody would invent them...", ">\n\nUSACE is an agency that is funded by the DOD but is vastly ran by civilians. There are very few enlisted or commissioned people in the army corps.", ">\n\nOK this is a thing and this is awesome", ">\n\nOops, I had \"Zombie Redneck Torture Family\" in the betting pool.", ">\n\nGrumble. Never gonna see a merman...", ">\n\nUSACE Portland District is one of the absolute best public sector social media presences out there. Seriously. Check it out.", ">\n\nCats in military pictures is an entire IG channel", ">\n\nGood boot", ">\n\nCommand team must be TDY", ">\n\nThat was even better than the title made me think it would be.", ">\n\nI support my tax dollars going to causes such as this.", ">\n\nFinally tax dollars doing something good", ">\n\nI’m kind of disappointed. From the title, I thought there would be photos of actual big cats attacking infrastructure, not photoshopped domestic cats. Anyone have a photo of a puma going after an electrical substation? Or a tiger gnawing on a water line?", ">\n\nNo. No one has that. Would be very interesting though to compile a calendar like that. Peace brother.", ">\n\nGreat, now I need a color printer.\nSeriously, thank you u/radioman8414!", ">\n\nThis is how I want my tax money spent. Downloaded and put up in my office!", ">\n\nThe regional social media guy who put this together is constantly hilarious", ">\n\nGreatest calendar of 2023.", ">\n\nI need one of these for my office! I've worked on some of these dams!", ">\n\nCan I ask you some dam questions?? I’m sure you know a lot of dam information. I’m sure all of us would love some dam stories. Thank you.", ">\n\nSure way to have a more interesting calendar than just infrastructure.", ">\n\nI would so adopt one if they existed.", ">\n\nI've heard army corps of engineers are very difficult to house train. May want to consider before adopting one.", ">\n\nTouché.", ">\n\nThat's amazing, thank you for posting it!", ">\n\nIs there anywhere to buy a nice physical copy of the calendar?", ">\n\nThose cats are mind-controlled by taxoplasmosis alien ameobas!", ">\n\nI was thinking this was gonna be mountain lions taking out maintenance huts or something like that. This is so much better", ">\n\nI’m the daughter of a former Portland, Oregon, US Army Corps Engineer, and I can confirm they are a strange crew. It makes me view the dams on the Columbia River fondly?", ">\n\nI love this so much.", ">\n\nDude. Awesome.", ">\n\nI love this! My astronomy teacher once did a talk on space cats. It was hysterical. Out of the blue he showed us pictures of space with cats added in. He felt we needed a fun class for laughs. I want this calendar.", ">\n\nThis would be really cool if they got a decent digital artist. But they didn't, they used photoshop about as well as I can.", ">\n\nI think that adds to the charm", ">\n\nDon't even need to see it, where can I buy it", ">\n\nFrom the link - \"Because the Army Corps is a Government Agency, the calendar is in public domain and totally free to download and print\"", ">\n\nThis is so funny, because it’s my Dad’s old workplace (from 1971 until he retired). My father, however, has zero sense of humor so he’d never work on something like this.", ">\n\nI met a guy from the Army Corps of Engineers when I worked for the EPA. Smartest guy I've ever met and the 2nd most hippe like person I've ever met. I'd like to think he had something to do with this idea.", ">\n\nFinally the massive military budget of the US is put to good use.", ">\n\nThis is awesome. I might have to buy one.", ">\n\nNo need. It's free, though you have to print it yourself if you want a physical copy", ">\n\nThis is so adorable! I approve wholeheartedly.", ">\n\nIt's about time.", ">\n\nSappers lead the way", ">\n\nI have so much love for this.", ">\n\nEhisssayons.", ">\n\nLove it.", ">\n\nUnintended benefits of relaxed Marijuana policies :)", ">\n\nUsace has not relaxed cannabis policies. No federal agency has", ">\n\nThey certainly have relaxed policy, even though federal law hasn't changed. It's legal in my state and the current administration has announced they won't be pursuing user level Marijuana charges at the federal level.\nWake up.", ">\n\nUSACE still falls under the same policies as the rest of the army. They're treated as DA civilians, and subject to periodic biochemical testing and the resultant consequences if they pee hot. The army has, and will not in the foreseeable future, relax any policy regarding marijuana.", ">\n\nAdorable idea; wish they had hired someone better at photoshop", ">\n\nIts a free gag calendar that was probably just put together by someone for fun in their spare time. Considering the state of infrastructure in the US I don't imagine the Corps of Engineers has a lot of extra spending money to throw around", ">\n\nIf they were smart, they would print it for us and sell it. I don't want a crappy calender that I printed on regular paper, I want the real thing and I would be glad to pay for it.", ">\n\nGenius!! This needs to be a trend. Reddit, make it so...", ">\n\nfuck yeah we finally gonna balance the budget", ">\n\nDecember's hilarious. I want this calender.", ">\n\nYou can totally tell that this is not real. The lighting on the cats is so obviously different than the environmental mistake. Pathetic effort infrastructure geeks.", ">\n\nSo they can blame cats for shoddy workmanship and lax maintenance.", ">\n\nDon't capitalize \"Of\" in titles", ">\n\nWish they'd focus on not taking eight years to permit a fucking project, those lazy excuses for engineers.", ">\n\nYou’re crazy dude. These peeps have built some amazing things. Extremely impressive.", ">\n\nThey used to.", ">\n\n😂", ">\n\nThis whole absurd thing is exactly my sense of humour. LOVE it.", ">\n\nOregon! I've seen the one at Detroit Dam. Sneaky bugger. Hangs out with Bigfoot.", ">\n\nI need this", ">\n\nThat's some adorable terrorism right there.", ">\n\nI remember seeing them, on quad bikes, with a lot of equipment, on Myrtle Beach beaches, I always wondered what they were doing...", ">\n\nI love this sequel to Beginning of the End!", ">\n\nIs there a way I can buy a physical version?", ">\n\nThey're Demo-cats!", ">\n\nAny recommendations of the best way to get this printed semi-professionally? I tried checking Costco photo centre but they make you use a template.", ">\n\nOf course it’s Portland.", ">\n\nKind of disappointing I can't actually buy a printed one. My daughter would love this.", ">\n\nA pretty good idea for a poster. Who doesn't like cats being cats?", ">\n\nI really wish I had become a part of the ACOE but my mother didn't want her only son in the military.", ">\n\nUsace has civilian positions you're employed by the army, but you don't go through basic", ">\n\nI hope they pay more than Nidec.", ">\n\nThanks for sharing! Downloaded and got my new Lock Screen wallpaper.", ">\n\nDecember is 🔥", ">\n\nObligatory Cat Dynamics", ">\n\nPoliticians will say this is the proof of the REAL reason of why our infrastructure is deteriorating, then vote in a measure to hire their friends and family to counter this threat.", ">\n\nI didnt know cats were domestic terrorists like Republicans. lol", ">\n\nThis is the only kind of apocalypse I could see myself getting excited about.", ">\n\nAugust a missed opportunity to have CAT Excavators.", ">\n\nYou have my attention.", ">\n\nSmart move", ">\n\nGod help us.", ">\n\nBest thing to come out of the Army post WWII.", ">\n\n🤔", ">\n\n\"Let's write a two paragraph article about something freely available on the internet and make absolutely no attempt to actually tell you where to find it\".", ">\n\nCatjira!", ">\n\nhilarious!", ">\n\nFinally", ">\n\nThis is the oniony-est story I’ve seen on here in a while", ">\n\nCant wait for the next spending bill to include cat proofing our infrastructure", ">\n\nHonestly… I’d buy it.", ">\n\nWish I would have heard of that in November or so. This seems unique, fun and a great idea for a calendar.", ">\n\nI heard about this from Last Podcast on the Left, glad to see it pop up on my feed with pictures!", ">\n\nI'm gonna need an NSN For that...", ">\n\nOf course it’s the Portland District", ">\n\nHonestly this is worth buying", ">\n\nIm not a cat person, but I would buy the calendar.", ">\n\nAny way to view the album without losing my mind on that website? God it's shit on mobile.", ">\n\nI especially love how June just looks like a well framed optical illusion photo.", ">\n\nThis is cute and all, but man, it seems a little poor in taste that August is a kitty-shaped military drone blowing up an Iraqi preschool", ">\n\nWhat did Oregon do to deserve this", ">\n\nGee I read that and instantly I thought they had done a study and released an estimated calendar of when an where giant cats would attack infrastructure in 2023. Phew.", ">\n\nOn that day, humanity received a grim reminder…", ">\n\nah yes\nPortland keeping it weird again", ">\n\nit’s cute, but who wrote the copy?", ">\n\nAmazing", ">\n\neverything changed when the cat nation attacked", ">\n\nI'm into it", ">\n\nnow this is what I want my tax dollars going towards", ">\n\nI'd love to believe that there was some huge misunderstanding and somewhere someone had actually meant CATs like the company with the big heavy machinery", ">\n\nThe word \"attacking\" is doing a lot of work here", ">\n\nW", ">\n\nLook, I’m pretty anti-government, but this I can get behind", ">\n\nCattack on titan", ">\n\nI'm a civil engineer.\nI would fucking LOVE this.\nThis'll go good in my office next to my other engineering / math punny comics.\nLike this one.\nOr this one.\nOr, maybe this one.", ">\n\nThe Only well spent part of the military budget", ">\n\nI might buy it", ">\n\nWhat the fuck is that website", ">\n\nThis is great!", ">\n\nAugust is great.", ">\n\nNow the real MVP will tell us how to print this like an actual calendar.", ">\n\nThe only thing worthy of my tax dollars that the military has done this year.", ">\n\nOk, now we need a class II space laser pointer to distract the giant cats away from vital infrastructure.", ">\n\nThey all are so good. My favorite is May, then September.", ">\n\nOh... good.", ">\n\nThose paragraphs are hilarious.", ">\n\nNow THIS is news!", ">\n\nCatcatae", ">\n\nThey would, if they could.", ">\n\nOmg yes. Need.", ">\n\n\"attacking\" lol", ">\n\nThere’s a great Twitter user called Giant Military Cats or something like that where the user does much the same. \nSeems like a kind, lonely soul who revels in people thanking them. Give it a look", ">\n\nNot oniony, really… just awesome.", ">\n\nThis is what our tax dollars should be used for", ">\n\nThis is why shit takes forever to get built when the government is involved. Now it all make sense...", ">\n\nI love it, but the cats seemed poorly photoshopped in", ">\n\nThey're engineers, not graphic artists.", ">\n\nGotta normalize death and murder in any way possible. Next up, an E-sports tournament hosted by Army Recruiters! Complete with twitch ads and tik tok videos!", ">\n\nThis is the Army Corps of Engineers. They're more Bob the Builder than G.I. Joe.", ">\n\nThey literally hosted a twitch e sports tournament.", ">\n\nWas it City Skylines or Minecraft?", ">\n\nPainfully bad photoshop too…", ">\n\nHow about a calendar of captured MAGA white supremacist assholes who attacked critical infrastructure?" ]

[ "Imagine the work order. \nYour boss comes to you and says, \"Hey, you're in charge of the cats calendar.\"\n\"What calendar?\"\n\"The one with cats attacking infrastructure?\"\n\"What?\"", ">\n\nyou miss ONE day...", ">\n\nHail Vectron!", ">\n\nBy Vectron!", ">\n\nFor those yet to experience the holy might of Vectron's kindly claw", ">\n\nThank you. I had no idea.", ">\n\nYou are most welcome by Vectron", ">\n\nFor the love of all that is Vectron, your speech warms my Vectronic heart.", ">\n\nMay Vectron’s beard shed its benevolence upon us. 🙏🏻🙏🏻", ">\n\nAnd may all of his correspondence to us be sent Vectronically. So it is written, so shall it be done.", ">\n\nI live in Oregon and started to recognize a bunch of the dams, so I was like, “huh, that’s kinda cool.” Then I saw the text at the bottom of the first page. Portland District. Now a cat calendar makes perfect sense.", ">\n\nSame thing happened to me. I think I'm going to head to kinko's and have them print it out for me.", ">\n\nTell them you need to print some important official military documents before you show them what it is", ">\n\nDon’t forget to tell them you need it right meow!", ">\n\nWho will protect our infrastructure from this menace?", ">\n\nAn array of laser pointers.", ">\n\ncut to giant laser pointer satellite", ">\n\nomigod the jewish space lasers were real", ">\n\n*meowish space lasers", ">\n\nHey that's racist", ">\n\nI think it would be cheaper to buy a calendar than use the ink/toner required to print it.", ">\n\nThat's why you print it at work.", ">\n\nhaha true, oh wait I work from home...", ">\n\nIf you print from home for work you can write printer supplies off on your taxes :)", ">\n\nUh yes boss I needed a calendar, so… oh what? Use the company one? Ummm but the US army has a really nice one and I thought I’d be patriotic - what? Oh, yeah I know we’re in Canada, I just…", ">\n\nPortland is pretty much wannabe Vancouver, BC. I say it goes!", ">\n\nExactly what a Canadian would say...", ">\n\nGoodies, goodie goodie, yum yum.", ">\n\nI just scrolled until I found The Goodies reference but was wondering if I was going to find one at all.", ">\n\nIt's way down the list, isn't it? \n/knees hurt.", ">\n\nOw, my back! Get off my lawn!", ">\n\nOne engineer did it in his free time, and released it for use through the corps. \nThis was NOT government funded.", ">\n\nEven if it was government funded, I support this.", ">\n\nEven if it was government funded it would've been like maybe one day of pay at most? Not a ton for the amount of publicity they'll get that might make them even more money.", ">\n\nAssuming they already have the infrastructure pictures I would be surprised if it took more than 4 work hours. Also for chronically underfunded agencies that kind of PR is exactly how you get voters to convince the politicians to increase funds. I look forward to NASA figuring out how to photoshop giant cats playing with the planets like balls of yarn for their calendar", ">\n\n\nI look forward to NASA figuring out how to photoshop giant cats playing with the planets like balls of yarn for their calendar \n\nWell let me introduce you to the most bizarre social media messaging from an official U.S. government agency: The U.S. Consumer Product Safety Commission's Instagram feed. \nAnd before I catch any \"there's no way this is real\" replies, here's the Washington Post covering it: \n\nHow a federal bureaucrat uses astronaut babies and dogs riding pigeons to try to save your life", ">\n\nThis is rad!", ">\n\nCISA losing their shit rn", ">\n\nI would like one.", ">\n\nIt's a free PDF.", ">\n\nNo he would like one of the cats", ">\n\nyOu wOuLdN'T DoWnloAd a cAT", ">\n\nI can’t believe they included Sherlock getting knocked off a cliff. At least he didn’t jump this time.", ">\n\nI'm shocked that you're the only person I've seen comment on this so far! it's hilarious", ">\n\n\"Every year, dozens of cats attack important infrastructure for our country causing dozens of dollars of damage. Won't you help?\"", ">\n\nI heard this with Sarah McLoughlin's voice", ">\n\nArmy Cats", ">\n\nNow do it with pictures of our crumbling infrastructure.", ">\n\nThis seems like one of those things that is somehow going to age poorly given our Universe's current sense of irony. I don't know how exactly, but there's going to be some mass tragedy involving cats and a suspension bridge or something this year.", ">\n\nThe first image kind of reads like \"this infrastructure is super important so don't damage it\". The calendar almost seems like a shopping list for domestic terrorists or something lol.", ">\n\nI mean, pretty obvious that dams, substations, bridges and the like are good targets for chaos. Google maps gives you all this plus Police stations and everything, with photos and the address. Useless to worry about it", ">\n\nSeriously, anyone who unironicly think terrorists were waiting for a cat calendar to list a bunch of locations to bomb is paranoid about the wrong things.", ">\n\nCats would hunt and eat us if they were bigger than us", ">\n\nThey already do, they are called Tigers.", ">\n\nIf there were smaller tigers, we would keep them as pets, but they'd break all our stuff to prove they're still in charge.", ">\n\nThey already do, they are called Cats.", ">\n\nOH MY GOD!", ">\n\nMy tabby is a cute little tiger", ">\n\nI knew we had infrastructure challenges, but I didn't realize we were facing an infrastructure cat-astrophe!", ">\n\nTake my r/angryupvote", ">\n\nI love how shitty the photoshop is. Really ties it all together", ">\n\nYeah I like the idea--but the pictures chosen and color grading are all off. I'd like this idea better executed more professionally.", ">\n\nOh no I'm serious. The unprofessionalism is the best part. I would absolutely pay money for this", ">\n\nOnly only thing weirder is gonna be their crazy ass plan to save the infrastructure.", ">\n\nIt's the engineer Corp, they can build giant cat carriers.", ">\n\nI guess anything beats the 40 million they spend on viagra to keep the soldiers saluting.", ">\n\nThis is delightful", ">\n\ni was imagining mountain lions breaking in to dumpsters or something, not giant house cats gnawing on substations, not disappointed.", ">\n\nI don’t need a calendar now that our pocket rectangles handle all of that for us, but I really want this calendar.", ">\n\nIt is really convenient to just walk by my schedule versus having to pull it up, scroll, click and expand. I tend to forget about things if I don’t see it in front of me, but that’s just how my brain works. Plus if you’re on the phone trying to schedule something it’s nice to write it out too.", ">\n\nI'm sorry, we're already booked for giant spiders.", ">\n\nI personally kinda love this.", ">\n\nBest use of a miniscule amount of our tax dollars in the entire US $1.7T budget. US Army Corp wins the internet today!", ">\n\nHonestly, the entire army corps of engineers may be one of highest rates of return on public good vs funding", ">\n\nSeriously. They do a shit ton of quality and important public work on a relatively shoe-string budget for engineering. I have a lot of respect for the people that work at the USACOE.", ">\n\nSeptember, now that one is art", ">\n\nHaters will say it's Photoshop.", ">\n\nThey’ve never seen Catzilla.", ">\n\nHero of the Week! Hail yourself!", ">\n\nThere it is!", ">\n\n\nThe Army Corps Of Engineers Has Released a 2023 Calendar Of Giant Cats Attacking <\n\nr/brand new sentence \nAlso, giant cats attacking infrastructure is so 2020. In 2023 it just sounds silly.", ">\n\nSeptember ❤️", ">\n\nOmg. I love this. Especially the text blurbs on the pictures. Very funny and adorable!", ">\n\nSounds like they understand cats are required if you want social media traction", ">\n\nI have never wanted to buy a calendar more than I do now!", ">\n\nOn the one hand, I applaud the idea.\nOn the other hand, the photoshop skills look like they came from the army corps of engineers.", ">\n\nWould you actually want them to look like they were perfectly matched to each environment? I'm pretty sure the comedic effect is all that matters here.\nAnd besides, it was just one engineer that created this on their spare time, rather than an official ACE production.", ">\n\nI was mainly being a bit snarky because the internet. That, and what I said was objectively true.", ">\n\nCan confirm, the Corps of Engineers fuckkkkks", ">\n\nGoddammit I just bought my 2023 calendar too lol", ">\n\nThat’s cute though, not worrisome like a lot of other r/nottheonion posts.", ">\n\nAs ever, the Army Corps of Engineers are the one branch of the US state that can get the important shit done", ">\n\nFrom the comments ITT it's evident that most people are unaware of how important they are to the lives of the majority of productive people in this country (people who live near a coastline or a major body of water). It's not just dams and rivers, it's the actual physical coastline of america that they look after.", ">\n\nYup, it seems double edged- people think oh, they're the army corps and assumes they must be doing only military stuff. But equally if it was civilianised no doubt it'd be a target for cuts. An incredible org, regardless. And whether it's cats or weather or warming or the collapse of neglected infrastructure they're going to get more and more important so it's a damn good thing they exist because in 2023, nobody would invent them...", ">\n\nUSACE is an agency that is funded by the DOD but is vastly ran by civilians. There are very few enlisted or commissioned people in the army corps.", ">\n\nOK this is a thing and this is awesome", ">\n\nOops, I had \"Zombie Redneck Torture Family\" in the betting pool.", ">\n\nGrumble. Never gonna see a merman...", ">\n\nUSACE Portland District is one of the absolute best public sector social media presences out there. Seriously. Check it out.", ">\n\nCats in military pictures is an entire IG channel", ">\n\nGood boot", ">\n\nCommand team must be TDY", ">\n\nThat was even better than the title made me think it would be.", ">\n\nI support my tax dollars going to causes such as this.", ">\n\nFinally tax dollars doing something good", ">\n\nI’m kind of disappointed. From the title, I thought there would be photos of actual big cats attacking infrastructure, not photoshopped domestic cats. Anyone have a photo of a puma going after an electrical substation? Or a tiger gnawing on a water line?", ">\n\nNo. No one has that. Would be very interesting though to compile a calendar like that. Peace brother.", ">\n\nGreat, now I need a color printer.\nSeriously, thank you u/radioman8414!", ">\n\nThis is how I want my tax money spent. Downloaded and put up in my office!", ">\n\nThe regional social media guy who put this together is constantly hilarious", ">\n\nGreatest calendar of 2023.", ">\n\nI need one of these for my office! I've worked on some of these dams!", ">\n\nCan I ask you some dam questions?? I’m sure you know a lot of dam information. I’m sure all of us would love some dam stories. Thank you.", ">\n\nSure way to have a more interesting calendar than just infrastructure.", ">\n\nI would so adopt one if they existed.", ">\n\nI've heard army corps of engineers are very difficult to house train. May want to consider before adopting one.", ">\n\nTouché.", ">\n\nThat's amazing, thank you for posting it!", ">\n\nIs there anywhere to buy a nice physical copy of the calendar?", ">\n\nThose cats are mind-controlled by taxoplasmosis alien ameobas!", ">\n\nI was thinking this was gonna be mountain lions taking out maintenance huts or something like that. This is so much better", ">\n\nI’m the daughter of a former Portland, Oregon, US Army Corps Engineer, and I can confirm they are a strange crew. It makes me view the dams on the Columbia River fondly?", ">\n\nI love this so much.", ">\n\nDude. Awesome.", ">\n\nI love this! My astronomy teacher once did a talk on space cats. It was hysterical. Out of the blue he showed us pictures of space with cats added in. He felt we needed a fun class for laughs. I want this calendar.", ">\n\nThis would be really cool if they got a decent digital artist. But they didn't, they used photoshop about as well as I can.", ">\n\nI think that adds to the charm", ">\n\nDon't even need to see it, where can I buy it", ">\n\nFrom the link - \"Because the Army Corps is a Government Agency, the calendar is in public domain and totally free to download and print\"", ">\n\nThis is so funny, because it’s my Dad’s old workplace (from 1971 until he retired). My father, however, has zero sense of humor so he’d never work on something like this.", ">\n\nI met a guy from the Army Corps of Engineers when I worked for the EPA. Smartest guy I've ever met and the 2nd most hippe like person I've ever met. I'd like to think he had something to do with this idea.", ">\n\nFinally the massive military budget of the US is put to good use.", ">\n\nThis is awesome. I might have to buy one.", ">\n\nNo need. It's free, though you have to print it yourself if you want a physical copy", ">\n\nThis is so adorable! I approve wholeheartedly.", ">\n\nIt's about time.", ">\n\nSappers lead the way", ">\n\nI have so much love for this.", ">\n\nEhisssayons.", ">\n\nLove it.", ">\n\nUnintended benefits of relaxed Marijuana policies :)", ">\n\nUsace has not relaxed cannabis policies. No federal agency has", ">\n\nThey certainly have relaxed policy, even though federal law hasn't changed. It's legal in my state and the current administration has announced they won't be pursuing user level Marijuana charges at the federal level.\nWake up.", ">\n\nUSACE still falls under the same policies as the rest of the army. They're treated as DA civilians, and subject to periodic biochemical testing and the resultant consequences if they pee hot. The army has, and will not in the foreseeable future, relax any policy regarding marijuana.", ">\n\nAdorable idea; wish they had hired someone better at photoshop", ">\n\nIts a free gag calendar that was probably just put together by someone for fun in their spare time. Considering the state of infrastructure in the US I don't imagine the Corps of Engineers has a lot of extra spending money to throw around", ">\n\nIf they were smart, they would print it for us and sell it. I don't want a crappy calender that I printed on regular paper, I want the real thing and I would be glad to pay for it.", ">\n\nGenius!! This needs to be a trend. Reddit, make it so...", ">\n\nfuck yeah we finally gonna balance the budget", ">\n\nDecember's hilarious. I want this calender.", ">\n\nYou can totally tell that this is not real. The lighting on the cats is so obviously different than the environmental mistake. Pathetic effort infrastructure geeks.", ">\n\nSo they can blame cats for shoddy workmanship and lax maintenance.", ">\n\nDon't capitalize \"Of\" in titles", ">\n\nWish they'd focus on not taking eight years to permit a fucking project, those lazy excuses for engineers.", ">\n\nYou’re crazy dude. These peeps have built some amazing things. Extremely impressive.", ">\n\nThey used to.", ">\n\n😂", ">\n\nThis whole absurd thing is exactly my sense of humour. LOVE it.", ">\n\nOregon! I've seen the one at Detroit Dam. Sneaky bugger. Hangs out with Bigfoot.", ">\n\nI need this", ">\n\nThat's some adorable terrorism right there.", ">\n\nI remember seeing them, on quad bikes, with a lot of equipment, on Myrtle Beach beaches, I always wondered what they were doing...", ">\n\nI love this sequel to Beginning of the End!", ">\n\nIs there a way I can buy a physical version?", ">\n\nThey're Demo-cats!", ">\n\nAny recommendations of the best way to get this printed semi-professionally? I tried checking Costco photo centre but they make you use a template.", ">\n\nOf course it’s Portland.", ">\n\nKind of disappointing I can't actually buy a printed one. My daughter would love this.", ">\n\nA pretty good idea for a poster. Who doesn't like cats being cats?", ">\n\nI really wish I had become a part of the ACOE but my mother didn't want her only son in the military.", ">\n\nUsace has civilian positions you're employed by the army, but you don't go through basic", ">\n\nI hope they pay more than Nidec.", ">\n\nThanks for sharing! Downloaded and got my new Lock Screen wallpaper.", ">\n\nDecember is 🔥", ">\n\nObligatory Cat Dynamics", ">\n\nPoliticians will say this is the proof of the REAL reason of why our infrastructure is deteriorating, then vote in a measure to hire their friends and family to counter this threat.", ">\n\nI didnt know cats were domestic terrorists like Republicans. lol", ">\n\nThis is the only kind of apocalypse I could see myself getting excited about.", ">\n\nAugust a missed opportunity to have CAT Excavators.", ">\n\nYou have my attention.", ">\n\nSmart move", ">\n\nGod help us.", ">\n\nBest thing to come out of the Army post WWII.", ">\n\n🤔", ">\n\n\"Let's write a two paragraph article about something freely available on the internet and make absolutely no attempt to actually tell you where to find it\".", ">\n\nCatjira!", ">\n\nhilarious!", ">\n\nFinally", ">\n\nThis is the oniony-est story I’ve seen on here in a while", ">\n\nCant wait for the next spending bill to include cat proofing our infrastructure", ">\n\nHonestly… I’d buy it.", ">\n\nWish I would have heard of that in November or so. This seems unique, fun and a great idea for a calendar.", ">\n\nI heard about this from Last Podcast on the Left, glad to see it pop up on my feed with pictures!", ">\n\nI'm gonna need an NSN For that...", ">\n\nOf course it’s the Portland District", ">\n\nHonestly this is worth buying", ">\n\nIm not a cat person, but I would buy the calendar.", ">\n\nAny way to view the album without losing my mind on that website? God it's shit on mobile.", ">\n\nI especially love how June just looks like a well framed optical illusion photo.", ">\n\nThis is cute and all, but man, it seems a little poor in taste that August is a kitty-shaped military drone blowing up an Iraqi preschool", ">\n\nWhat did Oregon do to deserve this", ">\n\nGee I read that and instantly I thought they had done a study and released an estimated calendar of when an where giant cats would attack infrastructure in 2023. Phew.", ">\n\nOn that day, humanity received a grim reminder…", ">\n\nah yes\nPortland keeping it weird again", ">\n\nit’s cute, but who wrote the copy?", ">\n\nAmazing", ">\n\neverything changed when the cat nation attacked", ">\n\nI'm into it", ">\n\nnow this is what I want my tax dollars going towards", ">\n\nI'd love to believe that there was some huge misunderstanding and somewhere someone had actually meant CATs like the company with the big heavy machinery", ">\n\nThe word \"attacking\" is doing a lot of work here", ">\n\nW", ">\n\nLook, I’m pretty anti-government, but this I can get behind", ">\n\nCattack on titan", ">\n\nI'm a civil engineer.\nI would fucking LOVE this.\nThis'll go good in my office next to my other engineering / math punny comics.\nLike this one.\nOr this one.\nOr, maybe this one.", ">\n\nThe Only well spent part of the military budget", ">\n\nI might buy it", ">\n\nWhat the fuck is that website", ">\n\nThis is great!", ">\n\nAugust is great.", ">\n\nNow the real MVP will tell us how to print this like an actual calendar.", ">\n\nThe only thing worthy of my tax dollars that the military has done this year.", ">\n\nOk, now we need a class II space laser pointer to distract the giant cats away from vital infrastructure.", ">\n\nThey all are so good. My favorite is May, then September.", ">\n\nOh... good.", ">\n\nThose paragraphs are hilarious.", ">\n\nNow THIS is news!", ">\n\nCatcatae", ">\n\nThey would, if they could.", ">\n\nOmg yes. Need.", ">\n\n\"attacking\" lol", ">\n\nThere’s a great Twitter user called Giant Military Cats or something like that where the user does much the same. \nSeems like a kind, lonely soul who revels in people thanking them. Give it a look", ">\n\nNot oniony, really… just awesome.", ">\n\nThis is what our tax dollars should be used for", ">\n\nThis is why shit takes forever to get built when the government is involved. Now it all make sense...", ">\n\nI love it, but the cats seemed poorly photoshopped in", ">\n\nThey're engineers, not graphic artists.", ">\n\nGotta normalize death and murder in any way possible. Next up, an E-sports tournament hosted by Army Recruiters! Complete with twitch ads and tik tok videos!", ">\n\nThis is the Army Corps of Engineers. They're more Bob the Builder than G.I. Joe.", ">\n\nThey literally hosted a twitch e sports tournament.", ">\n\nWas it City Skylines or Minecraft?", ">\n\nPainfully bad photoshop too…", ">\n\nHow about a calendar of captured MAGA white supremacist assholes who attacked critical infrastructure?", ">\n\nthis is what we get instead of universal healthcare?" ]

[ "Imagine the work order. \nYour boss comes to you and says, \"Hey, you're in charge of the cats calendar.\"\n\"What calendar?\"\n\"The one with cats attacking infrastructure?\"\n\"What?\"", ">\n\nyou miss ONE day...", ">\n\nHail Vectron!", ">\n\nBy Vectron!", ">\n\nFor those yet to experience the holy might of Vectron's kindly claw", ">\n\nThank you. I had no idea.", ">\n\nYou are most welcome by Vectron", ">\n\nFor the love of all that is Vectron, your speech warms my Vectronic heart.", ">\n\nMay Vectron’s beard shed its benevolence upon us. 🙏🏻🙏🏻", ">\n\nAnd may all of his correspondence to us be sent Vectronically. So it is written, so shall it be done.", ">\n\nI live in Oregon and started to recognize a bunch of the dams, so I was like, “huh, that’s kinda cool.” Then I saw the text at the bottom of the first page. Portland District. Now a cat calendar makes perfect sense.", ">\n\nSame thing happened to me. I think I'm going to head to kinko's and have them print it out for me.", ">\n\nTell them you need to print some important official military documents before you show them what it is", ">\n\nDon’t forget to tell them you need it right meow!", ">\n\nWho will protect our infrastructure from this menace?", ">\n\nAn array of laser pointers.", ">\n\ncut to giant laser pointer satellite", ">\n\nomigod the jewish space lasers were real", ">\n\n*meowish space lasers", ">\n\nHey that's racist", ">\n\nI think it would be cheaper to buy a calendar than use the ink/toner required to print it.", ">\n\nThat's why you print it at work.", ">\n\nhaha true, oh wait I work from home...", ">\n\nIf you print from home for work you can write printer supplies off on your taxes :)", ">\n\nUh yes boss I needed a calendar, so… oh what? Use the company one? Ummm but the US army has a really nice one and I thought I’d be patriotic - what? Oh, yeah I know we’re in Canada, I just…", ">\n\nPortland is pretty much wannabe Vancouver, BC. I say it goes!", ">\n\nExactly what a Canadian would say...", ">\n\nGoodies, goodie goodie, yum yum.", ">\n\nI just scrolled until I found The Goodies reference but was wondering if I was going to find one at all.", ">\n\nIt's way down the list, isn't it? \n/knees hurt.", ">\n\nOw, my back! Get off my lawn!", ">\n\nOne engineer did it in his free time, and released it for use through the corps. \nThis was NOT government funded.", ">\n\nEven if it was government funded, I support this.", ">\n\nEven if it was government funded it would've been like maybe one day of pay at most? Not a ton for the amount of publicity they'll get that might make them even more money.", ">\n\nAssuming they already have the infrastructure pictures I would be surprised if it took more than 4 work hours. Also for chronically underfunded agencies that kind of PR is exactly how you get voters to convince the politicians to increase funds. I look forward to NASA figuring out how to photoshop giant cats playing with the planets like balls of yarn for their calendar", ">\n\n\nI look forward to NASA figuring out how to photoshop giant cats playing with the planets like balls of yarn for their calendar \n\nWell let me introduce you to the most bizarre social media messaging from an official U.S. government agency: The U.S. Consumer Product Safety Commission's Instagram feed. \nAnd before I catch any \"there's no way this is real\" replies, here's the Washington Post covering it: \n\nHow a federal bureaucrat uses astronaut babies and dogs riding pigeons to try to save your life", ">\n\nThis is rad!", ">\n\nCISA losing their shit rn", ">\n\nI would like one.", ">\n\nIt's a free PDF.", ">\n\nNo he would like one of the cats", ">\n\nyOu wOuLdN'T DoWnloAd a cAT", ">\n\nI can’t believe they included Sherlock getting knocked off a cliff. At least he didn’t jump this time.", ">\n\nI'm shocked that you're the only person I've seen comment on this so far! it's hilarious", ">\n\n\"Every year, dozens of cats attack important infrastructure for our country causing dozens of dollars of damage. Won't you help?\"", ">\n\nI heard this with Sarah McLoughlin's voice", ">\n\nArmy Cats", ">\n\nNow do it with pictures of our crumbling infrastructure.", ">\n\nThis seems like one of those things that is somehow going to age poorly given our Universe's current sense of irony. I don't know how exactly, but there's going to be some mass tragedy involving cats and a suspension bridge or something this year.", ">\n\nThe first image kind of reads like \"this infrastructure is super important so don't damage it\". The calendar almost seems like a shopping list for domestic terrorists or something lol.", ">\n\nI mean, pretty obvious that dams, substations, bridges and the like are good targets for chaos. Google maps gives you all this plus Police stations and everything, with photos and the address. Useless to worry about it", ">\n\nSeriously, anyone who unironicly think terrorists were waiting for a cat calendar to list a bunch of locations to bomb is paranoid about the wrong things.", ">\n\nCats would hunt and eat us if they were bigger than us", ">\n\nThey already do, they are called Tigers.", ">\n\nIf there were smaller tigers, we would keep them as pets, but they'd break all our stuff to prove they're still in charge.", ">\n\nThey already do, they are called Cats.", ">\n\nOH MY GOD!", ">\n\nMy tabby is a cute little tiger", ">\n\nI knew we had infrastructure challenges, but I didn't realize we were facing an infrastructure cat-astrophe!", ">\n\nTake my r/angryupvote", ">\n\nI love how shitty the photoshop is. Really ties it all together", ">\n\nYeah I like the idea--but the pictures chosen and color grading are all off. I'd like this idea better executed more professionally.", ">\n\nOh no I'm serious. The unprofessionalism is the best part. I would absolutely pay money for this", ">\n\nOnly only thing weirder is gonna be their crazy ass plan to save the infrastructure.", ">\n\nIt's the engineer Corp, they can build giant cat carriers.", ">\n\nI guess anything beats the 40 million they spend on viagra to keep the soldiers saluting.", ">\n\nThis is delightful", ">\n\ni was imagining mountain lions breaking in to dumpsters or something, not giant house cats gnawing on substations, not disappointed.", ">\n\nI don’t need a calendar now that our pocket rectangles handle all of that for us, but I really want this calendar.", ">\n\nIt is really convenient to just walk by my schedule versus having to pull it up, scroll, click and expand. I tend to forget about things if I don’t see it in front of me, but that’s just how my brain works. Plus if you’re on the phone trying to schedule something it’s nice to write it out too.", ">\n\nI'm sorry, we're already booked for giant spiders.", ">\n\nI personally kinda love this.", ">\n\nBest use of a miniscule amount of our tax dollars in the entire US $1.7T budget. US Army Corp wins the internet today!", ">\n\nHonestly, the entire army corps of engineers may be one of highest rates of return on public good vs funding", ">\n\nSeriously. They do a shit ton of quality and important public work on a relatively shoe-string budget for engineering. I have a lot of respect for the people that work at the USACOE.", ">\n\nSeptember, now that one is art", ">\n\nHaters will say it's Photoshop.", ">\n\nThey’ve never seen Catzilla.", ">\n\nHero of the Week! Hail yourself!", ">\n\nThere it is!", ">\n\n\nThe Army Corps Of Engineers Has Released a 2023 Calendar Of Giant Cats Attacking <\n\nr/brand new sentence \nAlso, giant cats attacking infrastructure is so 2020. In 2023 it just sounds silly.", ">\n\nSeptember ❤️", ">\n\nOmg. I love this. Especially the text blurbs on the pictures. Very funny and adorable!", ">\n\nSounds like they understand cats are required if you want social media traction", ">\n\nI have never wanted to buy a calendar more than I do now!", ">\n\nOn the one hand, I applaud the idea.\nOn the other hand, the photoshop skills look like they came from the army corps of engineers.", ">\n\nWould you actually want them to look like they were perfectly matched to each environment? I'm pretty sure the comedic effect is all that matters here.\nAnd besides, it was just one engineer that created this on their spare time, rather than an official ACE production.", ">\n\nI was mainly being a bit snarky because the internet. That, and what I said was objectively true.", ">\n\nCan confirm, the Corps of Engineers fuckkkkks", ">\n\nGoddammit I just bought my 2023 calendar too lol", ">\n\nThat’s cute though, not worrisome like a lot of other r/nottheonion posts.", ">\n\nAs ever, the Army Corps of Engineers are the one branch of the US state that can get the important shit done", ">\n\nFrom the comments ITT it's evident that most people are unaware of how important they are to the lives of the majority of productive people in this country (people who live near a coastline or a major body of water). It's not just dams and rivers, it's the actual physical coastline of america that they look after.", ">\n\nYup, it seems double edged- people think oh, they're the army corps and assumes they must be doing only military stuff. But equally if it was civilianised no doubt it'd be a target for cuts. An incredible org, regardless. And whether it's cats or weather or warming or the collapse of neglected infrastructure they're going to get more and more important so it's a damn good thing they exist because in 2023, nobody would invent them...", ">\n\nUSACE is an agency that is funded by the DOD but is vastly ran by civilians. There are very few enlisted or commissioned people in the army corps.", ">\n\nOK this is a thing and this is awesome", ">\n\nOops, I had \"Zombie Redneck Torture Family\" in the betting pool.", ">\n\nGrumble. Never gonna see a merman...", ">\n\nUSACE Portland District is one of the absolute best public sector social media presences out there. Seriously. Check it out.", ">\n\nCats in military pictures is an entire IG channel", ">\n\nGood boot", ">\n\nCommand team must be TDY", ">\n\nThat was even better than the title made me think it would be.", ">\n\nI support my tax dollars going to causes such as this.", ">\n\nFinally tax dollars doing something good", ">\n\nI’m kind of disappointed. From the title, I thought there would be photos of actual big cats attacking infrastructure, not photoshopped domestic cats. Anyone have a photo of a puma going after an electrical substation? Or a tiger gnawing on a water line?", ">\n\nNo. No one has that. Would be very interesting though to compile a calendar like that. Peace brother.", ">\n\nGreat, now I need a color printer.\nSeriously, thank you u/radioman8414!", ">\n\nThis is how I want my tax money spent. Downloaded and put up in my office!", ">\n\nThe regional social media guy who put this together is constantly hilarious", ">\n\nGreatest calendar of 2023.", ">\n\nI need one of these for my office! I've worked on some of these dams!", ">\n\nCan I ask you some dam questions?? I’m sure you know a lot of dam information. I’m sure all of us would love some dam stories. Thank you.", ">\n\nSure way to have a more interesting calendar than just infrastructure.", ">\n\nI would so adopt one if they existed.", ">\n\nI've heard army corps of engineers are very difficult to house train. May want to consider before adopting one.", ">\n\nTouché.", ">\n\nThat's amazing, thank you for posting it!", ">\n\nIs there anywhere to buy a nice physical copy of the calendar?", ">\n\nThose cats are mind-controlled by taxoplasmosis alien ameobas!", ">\n\nI was thinking this was gonna be mountain lions taking out maintenance huts or something like that. This is so much better", ">\n\nI’m the daughter of a former Portland, Oregon, US Army Corps Engineer, and I can confirm they are a strange crew. It makes me view the dams on the Columbia River fondly?", ">\n\nI love this so much.", ">\n\nDude. Awesome.", ">\n\nI love this! My astronomy teacher once did a talk on space cats. It was hysterical. Out of the blue he showed us pictures of space with cats added in. He felt we needed a fun class for laughs. I want this calendar.", ">\n\nThis would be really cool if they got a decent digital artist. But they didn't, they used photoshop about as well as I can.", ">\n\nI think that adds to the charm", ">\n\nDon't even need to see it, where can I buy it", ">\n\nFrom the link - \"Because the Army Corps is a Government Agency, the calendar is in public domain and totally free to download and print\"", ">\n\nThis is so funny, because it’s my Dad’s old workplace (from 1971 until he retired). My father, however, has zero sense of humor so he’d never work on something like this.", ">\n\nI met a guy from the Army Corps of Engineers when I worked for the EPA. Smartest guy I've ever met and the 2nd most hippe like person I've ever met. I'd like to think he had something to do with this idea.", ">\n\nFinally the massive military budget of the US is put to good use.", ">\n\nThis is awesome. I might have to buy one.", ">\n\nNo need. It's free, though you have to print it yourself if you want a physical copy", ">\n\nThis is so adorable! I approve wholeheartedly.", ">\n\nIt's about time.", ">\n\nSappers lead the way", ">\n\nI have so much love for this.", ">\n\nEhisssayons.", ">\n\nLove it.", ">\n\nUnintended benefits of relaxed Marijuana policies :)", ">\n\nUsace has not relaxed cannabis policies. No federal agency has", ">\n\nThey certainly have relaxed policy, even though federal law hasn't changed. It's legal in my state and the current administration has announced they won't be pursuing user level Marijuana charges at the federal level.\nWake up.", ">\n\nUSACE still falls under the same policies as the rest of the army. They're treated as DA civilians, and subject to periodic biochemical testing and the resultant consequences if they pee hot. The army has, and will not in the foreseeable future, relax any policy regarding marijuana.", ">\n\nAdorable idea; wish they had hired someone better at photoshop", ">\n\nIts a free gag calendar that was probably just put together by someone for fun in their spare time. Considering the state of infrastructure in the US I don't imagine the Corps of Engineers has a lot of extra spending money to throw around", ">\n\nIf they were smart, they would print it for us and sell it. I don't want a crappy calender that I printed on regular paper, I want the real thing and I would be glad to pay for it.", ">\n\nGenius!! This needs to be a trend. Reddit, make it so...", ">\n\nfuck yeah we finally gonna balance the budget", ">\n\nDecember's hilarious. I want this calender.", ">\n\nYou can totally tell that this is not real. The lighting on the cats is so obviously different than the environmental mistake. Pathetic effort infrastructure geeks.", ">\n\nSo they can blame cats for shoddy workmanship and lax maintenance.", ">\n\nDon't capitalize \"Of\" in titles", ">\n\nWish they'd focus on not taking eight years to permit a fucking project, those lazy excuses for engineers.", ">\n\nYou’re crazy dude. These peeps have built some amazing things. Extremely impressive.", ">\n\nThey used to.", ">\n\n😂", ">\n\nThis whole absurd thing is exactly my sense of humour. LOVE it.", ">\n\nOregon! I've seen the one at Detroit Dam. Sneaky bugger. Hangs out with Bigfoot.", ">\n\nI need this", ">\n\nThat's some adorable terrorism right there.", ">\n\nI remember seeing them, on quad bikes, with a lot of equipment, on Myrtle Beach beaches, I always wondered what they were doing...", ">\n\nI love this sequel to Beginning of the End!", ">\n\nIs there a way I can buy a physical version?", ">\n\nThey're Demo-cats!", ">\n\nAny recommendations of the best way to get this printed semi-professionally? I tried checking Costco photo centre but they make you use a template.", ">\n\nOf course it’s Portland.", ">\n\nKind of disappointing I can't actually buy a printed one. My daughter would love this.", ">\n\nA pretty good idea for a poster. Who doesn't like cats being cats?", ">\n\nI really wish I had become a part of the ACOE but my mother didn't want her only son in the military.", ">\n\nUsace has civilian positions you're employed by the army, but you don't go through basic", ">\n\nI hope they pay more than Nidec.", ">\n\nThanks for sharing! Downloaded and got my new Lock Screen wallpaper.", ">\n\nDecember is 🔥", ">\n\nObligatory Cat Dynamics", ">\n\nPoliticians will say this is the proof of the REAL reason of why our infrastructure is deteriorating, then vote in a measure to hire their friends and family to counter this threat.", ">\n\nI didnt know cats were domestic terrorists like Republicans. lol", ">\n\nThis is the only kind of apocalypse I could see myself getting excited about.", ">\n\nAugust a missed opportunity to have CAT Excavators.", ">\n\nYou have my attention.", ">\n\nSmart move", ">\n\nGod help us.", ">\n\nBest thing to come out of the Army post WWII.", ">\n\n🤔", ">\n\n\"Let's write a two paragraph article about something freely available on the internet and make absolutely no attempt to actually tell you where to find it\".", ">\n\nCatjira!", ">\n\nhilarious!", ">\n\nFinally", ">\n\nThis is the oniony-est story I’ve seen on here in a while", ">\n\nCant wait for the next spending bill to include cat proofing our infrastructure", ">\n\nHonestly… I’d buy it.", ">\n\nWish I would have heard of that in November or so. This seems unique, fun and a great idea for a calendar.", ">\n\nI heard about this from Last Podcast on the Left, glad to see it pop up on my feed with pictures!", ">\n\nI'm gonna need an NSN For that...", ">\n\nOf course it’s the Portland District", ">\n\nHonestly this is worth buying", ">\n\nIm not a cat person, but I would buy the calendar.", ">\n\nAny way to view the album without losing my mind on that website? God it's shit on mobile.", ">\n\nI especially love how June just looks like a well framed optical illusion photo.", ">\n\nThis is cute and all, but man, it seems a little poor in taste that August is a kitty-shaped military drone blowing up an Iraqi preschool", ">\n\nWhat did Oregon do to deserve this", ">\n\nGee I read that and instantly I thought they had done a study and released an estimated calendar of when an where giant cats would attack infrastructure in 2023. Phew.", ">\n\nOn that day, humanity received a grim reminder…", ">\n\nah yes\nPortland keeping it weird again", ">\n\nit’s cute, but who wrote the copy?", ">\n\nAmazing", ">\n\neverything changed when the cat nation attacked", ">\n\nI'm into it", ">\n\nnow this is what I want my tax dollars going towards", ">\n\nI'd love to believe that there was some huge misunderstanding and somewhere someone had actually meant CATs like the company with the big heavy machinery", ">\n\nThe word \"attacking\" is doing a lot of work here", ">\n\nW", ">\n\nLook, I’m pretty anti-government, but this I can get behind", ">\n\nCattack on titan", ">\n\nI'm a civil engineer.\nI would fucking LOVE this.\nThis'll go good in my office next to my other engineering / math punny comics.\nLike this one.\nOr this one.\nOr, maybe this one.", ">\n\nThe Only well spent part of the military budget", ">\n\nI might buy it", ">\n\nWhat the fuck is that website", ">\n\nThis is great!", ">\n\nAugust is great.", ">\n\nNow the real MVP will tell us how to print this like an actual calendar.", ">\n\nThe only thing worthy of my tax dollars that the military has done this year.", ">\n\nOk, now we need a class II space laser pointer to distract the giant cats away from vital infrastructure.", ">\n\nThey all are so good. My favorite is May, then September.", ">\n\nOh... good.", ">\n\nThose paragraphs are hilarious.", ">\n\nNow THIS is news!", ">\n\nCatcatae", ">\n\nThey would, if they could.", ">\n\nOmg yes. Need.", ">\n\n\"attacking\" lol", ">\n\nThere’s a great Twitter user called Giant Military Cats or something like that where the user does much the same. \nSeems like a kind, lonely soul who revels in people thanking them. Give it a look", ">\n\nNot oniony, really… just awesome.", ">\n\nThis is what our tax dollars should be used for", ">\n\nThis is why shit takes forever to get built when the government is involved. Now it all make sense...", ">\n\nI love it, but the cats seemed poorly photoshopped in", ">\n\nThey're engineers, not graphic artists.", ">\n\nGotta normalize death and murder in any way possible. Next up, an E-sports tournament hosted by Army Recruiters! Complete with twitch ads and tik tok videos!", ">\n\nThis is the Army Corps of Engineers. They're more Bob the Builder than G.I. Joe.", ">\n\nThey literally hosted a twitch e sports tournament.", ">\n\nWas it City Skylines or Minecraft?", ">\n\nPainfully bad photoshop too…", ">\n\nHow about a calendar of captured MAGA white supremacist assholes who attacked critical infrastructure?", ">\n\nthis is what we get instead of universal healthcare?", ">\n\nSo I reckon the Corps of Engineers is now gonna blame a giant cat for their spectacular failures that led to loss of life during Hurricane Katrina." ]

[ "Imagine the work order. \nYour boss comes to you and says, \"Hey, you're in charge of the cats calendar.\"\n\"What calendar?\"\n\"The one with cats attacking infrastructure?\"\n\"What?\"", ">\n\nyou miss ONE day...", ">\n\nHail Vectron!", ">\n\nBy Vectron!", ">\n\nFor those yet to experience the holy might of Vectron's kindly claw", ">\n\nThank you. I had no idea.", ">\n\nYou are most welcome by Vectron", ">\n\nFor the love of all that is Vectron, your speech warms my Vectronic heart.", ">\n\nMay Vectron’s beard shed its benevolence upon us. 🙏🏻🙏🏻", ">\n\nAnd may all of his correspondence to us be sent Vectronically. So it is written, so shall it be done.", ">\n\nI live in Oregon and started to recognize a bunch of the dams, so I was like, “huh, that’s kinda cool.” Then I saw the text at the bottom of the first page. Portland District. Now a cat calendar makes perfect sense.", ">\n\nSame thing happened to me. I think I'm going to head to kinko's and have them print it out for me.", ">\n\nTell them you need to print some important official military documents before you show them what it is", ">\n\nDon’t forget to tell them you need it right meow!", ">\n\nWho will protect our infrastructure from this menace?", ">\n\nAn array of laser pointers.", ">\n\ncut to giant laser pointer satellite", ">\n\nomigod the jewish space lasers were real", ">\n\n*meowish space lasers", ">\n\nHey that's racist", ">\n\nI think it would be cheaper to buy a calendar than use the ink/toner required to print it.", ">\n\nThat's why you print it at work.", ">\n\nhaha true, oh wait I work from home...", ">\n\nIf you print from home for work you can write printer supplies off on your taxes :)", ">\n\nUh yes boss I needed a calendar, so… oh what? Use the company one? Ummm but the US army has a really nice one and I thought I’d be patriotic - what? Oh, yeah I know we’re in Canada, I just…", ">\n\nPortland is pretty much wannabe Vancouver, BC. I say it goes!", ">\n\nExactly what a Canadian would say...", ">\n\nGoodies, goodie goodie, yum yum.", ">\n\nI just scrolled until I found The Goodies reference but was wondering if I was going to find one at all.", ">\n\nIt's way down the list, isn't it? \n/knees hurt.", ">\n\nOw, my back! Get off my lawn!", ">\n\nOne engineer did it in his free time, and released it for use through the corps. \nThis was NOT government funded.", ">\n\nEven if it was government funded, I support this.", ">\n\nEven if it was government funded it would've been like maybe one day of pay at most? Not a ton for the amount of publicity they'll get that might make them even more money.", ">\n\nAssuming they already have the infrastructure pictures I would be surprised if it took more than 4 work hours. Also for chronically underfunded agencies that kind of PR is exactly how you get voters to convince the politicians to increase funds. I look forward to NASA figuring out how to photoshop giant cats playing with the planets like balls of yarn for their calendar", ">\n\n\nI look forward to NASA figuring out how to photoshop giant cats playing with the planets like balls of yarn for their calendar \n\nWell let me introduce you to the most bizarre social media messaging from an official U.S. government agency: The U.S. Consumer Product Safety Commission's Instagram feed. \nAnd before I catch any \"there's no way this is real\" replies, here's the Washington Post covering it: \n\nHow a federal bureaucrat uses astronaut babies and dogs riding pigeons to try to save your life", ">\n\nThis is rad!", ">\n\nCISA losing their shit rn", ">\n\nI would like one.", ">\n\nIt's a free PDF.", ">\n\nNo he would like one of the cats", ">\n\nyOu wOuLdN'T DoWnloAd a cAT", ">\n\nI can’t believe they included Sherlock getting knocked off a cliff. At least he didn’t jump this time.", ">\n\nI'm shocked that you're the only person I've seen comment on this so far! it's hilarious", ">\n\n\"Every year, dozens of cats attack important infrastructure for our country causing dozens of dollars of damage. Won't you help?\"", ">\n\nI heard this with Sarah McLoughlin's voice", ">\n\nArmy Cats", ">\n\nNow do it with pictures of our crumbling infrastructure.", ">\n\nThis seems like one of those things that is somehow going to age poorly given our Universe's current sense of irony. I don't know how exactly, but there's going to be some mass tragedy involving cats and a suspension bridge or something this year.", ">\n\nThe first image kind of reads like \"this infrastructure is super important so don't damage it\". The calendar almost seems like a shopping list for domestic terrorists or something lol.", ">\n\nI mean, pretty obvious that dams, substations, bridges and the like are good targets for chaos. Google maps gives you all this plus Police stations and everything, with photos and the address. Useless to worry about it", ">\n\nSeriously, anyone who unironicly think terrorists were waiting for a cat calendar to list a bunch of locations to bomb is paranoid about the wrong things.", ">\n\nCats would hunt and eat us if they were bigger than us", ">\n\nThey already do, they are called Tigers.", ">\n\nIf there were smaller tigers, we would keep them as pets, but they'd break all our stuff to prove they're still in charge.", ">\n\nThey already do, they are called Cats.", ">\n\nOH MY GOD!", ">\n\nMy tabby is a cute little tiger", ">\n\nI knew we had infrastructure challenges, but I didn't realize we were facing an infrastructure cat-astrophe!", ">\n\nTake my r/angryupvote", ">\n\nI love how shitty the photoshop is. Really ties it all together", ">\n\nYeah I like the idea--but the pictures chosen and color grading are all off. I'd like this idea better executed more professionally.", ">\n\nOh no I'm serious. The unprofessionalism is the best part. I would absolutely pay money for this", ">\n\nOnly only thing weirder is gonna be their crazy ass plan to save the infrastructure.", ">\n\nIt's the engineer Corp, they can build giant cat carriers.", ">\n\nI guess anything beats the 40 million they spend on viagra to keep the soldiers saluting.", ">\n\nThis is delightful", ">\n\ni was imagining mountain lions breaking in to dumpsters or something, not giant house cats gnawing on substations, not disappointed.", ">\n\nI don’t need a calendar now that our pocket rectangles handle all of that for us, but I really want this calendar.", ">\n\nIt is really convenient to just walk by my schedule versus having to pull it up, scroll, click and expand. I tend to forget about things if I don’t see it in front of me, but that’s just how my brain works. Plus if you’re on the phone trying to schedule something it’s nice to write it out too.", ">\n\nI'm sorry, we're already booked for giant spiders.", ">\n\nI personally kinda love this.", ">\n\nBest use of a miniscule amount of our tax dollars in the entire US $1.7T budget. US Army Corp wins the internet today!", ">\n\nHonestly, the entire army corps of engineers may be one of highest rates of return on public good vs funding", ">\n\nSeriously. They do a shit ton of quality and important public work on a relatively shoe-string budget for engineering. I have a lot of respect for the people that work at the USACOE.", ">\n\nSeptember, now that one is art", ">\n\nHaters will say it's Photoshop.", ">\n\nThey’ve never seen Catzilla.", ">\n\nHero of the Week! Hail yourself!", ">\n\nThere it is!", ">\n\n\nThe Army Corps Of Engineers Has Released a 2023 Calendar Of Giant Cats Attacking <\n\nr/brand new sentence \nAlso, giant cats attacking infrastructure is so 2020. In 2023 it just sounds silly.", ">\n\nSeptember ❤️", ">\n\nOmg. I love this. Especially the text blurbs on the pictures. Very funny and adorable!", ">\n\nSounds like they understand cats are required if you want social media traction", ">\n\nI have never wanted to buy a calendar more than I do now!", ">\n\nOn the one hand, I applaud the idea.\nOn the other hand, the photoshop skills look like they came from the army corps of engineers.", ">\n\nWould you actually want them to look like they were perfectly matched to each environment? I'm pretty sure the comedic effect is all that matters here.\nAnd besides, it was just one engineer that created this on their spare time, rather than an official ACE production.", ">\n\nI was mainly being a bit snarky because the internet. That, and what I said was objectively true.", ">\n\nCan confirm, the Corps of Engineers fuckkkkks", ">\n\nGoddammit I just bought my 2023 calendar too lol", ">\n\nThat’s cute though, not worrisome like a lot of other r/nottheonion posts.", ">\n\nAs ever, the Army Corps of Engineers are the one branch of the US state that can get the important shit done", ">\n\nFrom the comments ITT it's evident that most people are unaware of how important they are to the lives of the majority of productive people in this country (people who live near a coastline or a major body of water). It's not just dams and rivers, it's the actual physical coastline of america that they look after.", ">\n\nYup, it seems double edged- people think oh, they're the army corps and assumes they must be doing only military stuff. But equally if it was civilianised no doubt it'd be a target for cuts. An incredible org, regardless. And whether it's cats or weather or warming or the collapse of neglected infrastructure they're going to get more and more important so it's a damn good thing they exist because in 2023, nobody would invent them...", ">\n\nUSACE is an agency that is funded by the DOD but is vastly ran by civilians. There are very few enlisted or commissioned people in the army corps.", ">\n\nOK this is a thing and this is awesome", ">\n\nOops, I had \"Zombie Redneck Torture Family\" in the betting pool.", ">\n\nGrumble. Never gonna see a merman...", ">\n\nUSACE Portland District is one of the absolute best public sector social media presences out there. Seriously. Check it out.", ">\n\nCats in military pictures is an entire IG channel", ">\n\nGood boot", ">\n\nCommand team must be TDY", ">\n\nThat was even better than the title made me think it would be.", ">\n\nI support my tax dollars going to causes such as this.", ">\n\nFinally tax dollars doing something good", ">\n\nI’m kind of disappointed. From the title, I thought there would be photos of actual big cats attacking infrastructure, not photoshopped domestic cats. Anyone have a photo of a puma going after an electrical substation? Or a tiger gnawing on a water line?", ">\n\nNo. No one has that. Would be very interesting though to compile a calendar like that. Peace brother.", ">\n\nGreat, now I need a color printer.\nSeriously, thank you u/radioman8414!", ">\n\nThis is how I want my tax money spent. Downloaded and put up in my office!", ">\n\nThe regional social media guy who put this together is constantly hilarious", ">\n\nGreatest calendar of 2023.", ">\n\nI need one of these for my office! I've worked on some of these dams!", ">\n\nCan I ask you some dam questions?? I’m sure you know a lot of dam information. I’m sure all of us would love some dam stories. Thank you.", ">\n\nSure way to have a more interesting calendar than just infrastructure.", ">\n\nI would so adopt one if they existed.", ">\n\nI've heard army corps of engineers are very difficult to house train. May want to consider before adopting one.", ">\n\nTouché.", ">\n\nThat's amazing, thank you for posting it!", ">\n\nIs there anywhere to buy a nice physical copy of the calendar?", ">\n\nThose cats are mind-controlled by taxoplasmosis alien ameobas!", ">\n\nI was thinking this was gonna be mountain lions taking out maintenance huts or something like that. This is so much better", ">\n\nI’m the daughter of a former Portland, Oregon, US Army Corps Engineer, and I can confirm they are a strange crew. It makes me view the dams on the Columbia River fondly?", ">\n\nI love this so much.", ">\n\nDude. Awesome.", ">\n\nI love this! My astronomy teacher once did a talk on space cats. It was hysterical. Out of the blue he showed us pictures of space with cats added in. He felt we needed a fun class for laughs. I want this calendar.", ">\n\nThis would be really cool if they got a decent digital artist. But they didn't, they used photoshop about as well as I can.", ">\n\nI think that adds to the charm", ">\n\nDon't even need to see it, where can I buy it", ">\n\nFrom the link - \"Because the Army Corps is a Government Agency, the calendar is in public domain and totally free to download and print\"", ">\n\nThis is so funny, because it’s my Dad’s old workplace (from 1971 until he retired). My father, however, has zero sense of humor so he’d never work on something like this.", ">\n\nI met a guy from the Army Corps of Engineers when I worked for the EPA. Smartest guy I've ever met and the 2nd most hippe like person I've ever met. I'd like to think he had something to do with this idea.", ">\n\nFinally the massive military budget of the US is put to good use.", ">\n\nThis is awesome. I might have to buy one.", ">\n\nNo need. It's free, though you have to print it yourself if you want a physical copy", ">\n\nThis is so adorable! I approve wholeheartedly.", ">\n\nIt's about time.", ">\n\nSappers lead the way", ">\n\nI have so much love for this.", ">\n\nEhisssayons.", ">\n\nLove it.", ">\n\nUnintended benefits of relaxed Marijuana policies :)", ">\n\nUsace has not relaxed cannabis policies. No federal agency has", ">\n\nThey certainly have relaxed policy, even though federal law hasn't changed. It's legal in my state and the current administration has announced they won't be pursuing user level Marijuana charges at the federal level.\nWake up.", ">\n\nUSACE still falls under the same policies as the rest of the army. They're treated as DA civilians, and subject to periodic biochemical testing and the resultant consequences if they pee hot. The army has, and will not in the foreseeable future, relax any policy regarding marijuana.", ">\n\nAdorable idea; wish they had hired someone better at photoshop", ">\n\nIts a free gag calendar that was probably just put together by someone for fun in their spare time. Considering the state of infrastructure in the US I don't imagine the Corps of Engineers has a lot of extra spending money to throw around", ">\n\nIf they were smart, they would print it for us and sell it. I don't want a crappy calender that I printed on regular paper, I want the real thing and I would be glad to pay for it.", ">\n\nGenius!! This needs to be a trend. Reddit, make it so...", ">\n\nfuck yeah we finally gonna balance the budget", ">\n\nDecember's hilarious. I want this calender.", ">\n\nYou can totally tell that this is not real. The lighting on the cats is so obviously different than the environmental mistake. Pathetic effort infrastructure geeks.", ">\n\nSo they can blame cats for shoddy workmanship and lax maintenance.", ">\n\nDon't capitalize \"Of\" in titles", ">\n\nWish they'd focus on not taking eight years to permit a fucking project, those lazy excuses for engineers.", ">\n\nYou’re crazy dude. These peeps have built some amazing things. Extremely impressive.", ">\n\nThey used to.", ">\n\n😂", ">\n\nThis whole absurd thing is exactly my sense of humour. LOVE it.", ">\n\nOregon! I've seen the one at Detroit Dam. Sneaky bugger. Hangs out with Bigfoot.", ">\n\nI need this", ">\n\nThat's some adorable terrorism right there.", ">\n\nI remember seeing them, on quad bikes, with a lot of equipment, on Myrtle Beach beaches, I always wondered what they were doing...", ">\n\nI love this sequel to Beginning of the End!", ">\n\nIs there a way I can buy a physical version?", ">\n\nThey're Demo-cats!", ">\n\nAny recommendations of the best way to get this printed semi-professionally? I tried checking Costco photo centre but they make you use a template.", ">\n\nOf course it’s Portland.", ">\n\nKind of disappointing I can't actually buy a printed one. My daughter would love this.", ">\n\nA pretty good idea for a poster. Who doesn't like cats being cats?", ">\n\nI really wish I had become a part of the ACOE but my mother didn't want her only son in the military.", ">\n\nUsace has civilian positions you're employed by the army, but you don't go through basic", ">\n\nI hope they pay more than Nidec.", ">\n\nThanks for sharing! Downloaded and got my new Lock Screen wallpaper.", ">\n\nDecember is 🔥", ">\n\nObligatory Cat Dynamics", ">\n\nPoliticians will say this is the proof of the REAL reason of why our infrastructure is deteriorating, then vote in a measure to hire their friends and family to counter this threat.", ">\n\nI didnt know cats were domestic terrorists like Republicans. lol", ">\n\nThis is the only kind of apocalypse I could see myself getting excited about.", ">\n\nAugust a missed opportunity to have CAT Excavators.", ">\n\nYou have my attention.", ">\n\nSmart move", ">\n\nGod help us.", ">\n\nBest thing to come out of the Army post WWII.", ">\n\n🤔", ">\n\n\"Let's write a two paragraph article about something freely available on the internet and make absolutely no attempt to actually tell you where to find it\".", ">\n\nCatjira!", ">\n\nhilarious!", ">\n\nFinally", ">\n\nThis is the oniony-est story I’ve seen on here in a while", ">\n\nCant wait for the next spending bill to include cat proofing our infrastructure", ">\n\nHonestly… I’d buy it.", ">\n\nWish I would have heard of that in November or so. This seems unique, fun and a great idea for a calendar.", ">\n\nI heard about this from Last Podcast on the Left, glad to see it pop up on my feed with pictures!", ">\n\nI'm gonna need an NSN For that...", ">\n\nOf course it’s the Portland District", ">\n\nHonestly this is worth buying", ">\n\nIm not a cat person, but I would buy the calendar.", ">\n\nAny way to view the album without losing my mind on that website? God it's shit on mobile.", ">\n\nI especially love how June just looks like a well framed optical illusion photo.", ">\n\nThis is cute and all, but man, it seems a little poor in taste that August is a kitty-shaped military drone blowing up an Iraqi preschool", ">\n\nWhat did Oregon do to deserve this", ">\n\nGee I read that and instantly I thought they had done a study and released an estimated calendar of when an where giant cats would attack infrastructure in 2023. Phew.", ">\n\nOn that day, humanity received a grim reminder…", ">\n\nah yes\nPortland keeping it weird again", ">\n\nit’s cute, but who wrote the copy?", ">\n\nAmazing", ">\n\neverything changed when the cat nation attacked", ">\n\nI'm into it", ">\n\nnow this is what I want my tax dollars going towards", ">\n\nI'd love to believe that there was some huge misunderstanding and somewhere someone had actually meant CATs like the company with the big heavy machinery", ">\n\nThe word \"attacking\" is doing a lot of work here", ">\n\nW", ">\n\nLook, I’m pretty anti-government, but this I can get behind", ">\n\nCattack on titan", ">\n\nI'm a civil engineer.\nI would fucking LOVE this.\nThis'll go good in my office next to my other engineering / math punny comics.\nLike this one.\nOr this one.\nOr, maybe this one.", ">\n\nThe Only well spent part of the military budget", ">\n\nI might buy it", ">\n\nWhat the fuck is that website", ">\n\nThis is great!", ">\n\nAugust is great.", ">\n\nNow the real MVP will tell us how to print this like an actual calendar.", ">\n\nThe only thing worthy of my tax dollars that the military has done this year.", ">\n\nOk, now we need a class II space laser pointer to distract the giant cats away from vital infrastructure.", ">\n\nThey all are so good. My favorite is May, then September.", ">\n\nOh... good.", ">\n\nThose paragraphs are hilarious.", ">\n\nNow THIS is news!", ">\n\nCatcatae", ">\n\nThey would, if they could.", ">\n\nOmg yes. Need.", ">\n\n\"attacking\" lol", ">\n\nThere’s a great Twitter user called Giant Military Cats or something like that where the user does much the same. \nSeems like a kind, lonely soul who revels in people thanking them. Give it a look", ">\n\nNot oniony, really… just awesome.", ">\n\nThis is what our tax dollars should be used for", ">\n\nThis is why shit takes forever to get built when the government is involved. Now it all make sense...", ">\n\nI love it, but the cats seemed poorly photoshopped in", ">\n\nThey're engineers, not graphic artists.", ">\n\nGotta normalize death and murder in any way possible. Next up, an E-sports tournament hosted by Army Recruiters! Complete with twitch ads and tik tok videos!", ">\n\nThis is the Army Corps of Engineers. They're more Bob the Builder than G.I. Joe.", ">\n\nThey literally hosted a twitch e sports tournament.", ">\n\nWas it City Skylines or Minecraft?", ">\n\nPainfully bad photoshop too…", ">\n\nHow about a calendar of captured MAGA white supremacist assholes who attacked critical infrastructure?", ">\n\nthis is what we get instead of universal healthcare?", ">\n\nSo I reckon the Corps of Engineers is now gonna blame a giant cat for their spectacular failures that led to loss of life during Hurricane Katrina.", ">\n\nWhy is this a thing lol" ]

[ "Imagine the work order. \nYour boss comes to you and says, \"Hey, you're in charge of the cats calendar.\"\n\"What calendar?\"\n\"The one with cats attacking infrastructure?\"\n\"What?\"", ">\n\nyou miss ONE day...", ">\n\nHail Vectron!", ">\n\nBy Vectron!", ">\n\nFor those yet to experience the holy might of Vectron's kindly claw", ">\n\nThank you. I had no idea.", ">\n\nYou are most welcome by Vectron", ">\n\nFor the love of all that is Vectron, your speech warms my Vectronic heart.", ">\n\nMay Vectron’s beard shed its benevolence upon us. 🙏🏻🙏🏻", ">\n\nAnd may all of his correspondence to us be sent Vectronically. So it is written, so shall it be done.", ">\n\nI live in Oregon and started to recognize a bunch of the dams, so I was like, “huh, that’s kinda cool.” Then I saw the text at the bottom of the first page. Portland District. Now a cat calendar makes perfect sense.", ">\n\nSame thing happened to me. I think I'm going to head to kinko's and have them print it out for me.", ">\n\nTell them you need to print some important official military documents before you show them what it is", ">\n\nDon’t forget to tell them you need it right meow!", ">\n\nWho will protect our infrastructure from this menace?", ">\n\nAn array of laser pointers.", ">\n\ncut to giant laser pointer satellite", ">\n\nomigod the jewish space lasers were real", ">\n\n*meowish space lasers", ">\n\nHey that's racist", ">\n\nI think it would be cheaper to buy a calendar than use the ink/toner required to print it.", ">\n\nThat's why you print it at work.", ">\n\nhaha true, oh wait I work from home...", ">\n\nIf you print from home for work you can write printer supplies off on your taxes :)", ">\n\nUh yes boss I needed a calendar, so… oh what? Use the company one? Ummm but the US army has a really nice one and I thought I’d be patriotic - what? Oh, yeah I know we’re in Canada, I just…", ">\n\nPortland is pretty much wannabe Vancouver, BC. I say it goes!", ">\n\nExactly what a Canadian would say...", ">\n\nGoodies, goodie goodie, yum yum.", ">\n\nI just scrolled until I found The Goodies reference but was wondering if I was going to find one at all.", ">\n\nIt's way down the list, isn't it? \n/knees hurt.", ">\n\nOw, my back! Get off my lawn!", ">\n\nOne engineer did it in his free time, and released it for use through the corps. \nThis was NOT government funded.", ">\n\nEven if it was government funded, I support this.", ">\n\nEven if it was government funded it would've been like maybe one day of pay at most? Not a ton for the amount of publicity they'll get that might make them even more money.", ">\n\nAssuming they already have the infrastructure pictures I would be surprised if it took more than 4 work hours. Also for chronically underfunded agencies that kind of PR is exactly how you get voters to convince the politicians to increase funds. I look forward to NASA figuring out how to photoshop giant cats playing with the planets like balls of yarn for their calendar", ">\n\n\nI look forward to NASA figuring out how to photoshop giant cats playing with the planets like balls of yarn for their calendar \n\nWell let me introduce you to the most bizarre social media messaging from an official U.S. government agency: The U.S. Consumer Product Safety Commission's Instagram feed. \nAnd before I catch any \"there's no way this is real\" replies, here's the Washington Post covering it: \n\nHow a federal bureaucrat uses astronaut babies and dogs riding pigeons to try to save your life", ">\n\nThis is rad!", ">\n\nCISA losing their shit rn", ">\n\nI would like one.", ">\n\nIt's a free PDF.", ">\n\nNo he would like one of the cats", ">\n\nyOu wOuLdN'T DoWnloAd a cAT", ">\n\nI can’t believe they included Sherlock getting knocked off a cliff. At least he didn’t jump this time.", ">\n\nI'm shocked that you're the only person I've seen comment on this so far! it's hilarious", ">\n\n\"Every year, dozens of cats attack important infrastructure for our country causing dozens of dollars of damage. Won't you help?\"", ">\n\nI heard this with Sarah McLoughlin's voice", ">\n\nArmy Cats", ">\n\nNow do it with pictures of our crumbling infrastructure.", ">\n\nThis seems like one of those things that is somehow going to age poorly given our Universe's current sense of irony. I don't know how exactly, but there's going to be some mass tragedy involving cats and a suspension bridge or something this year.", ">\n\nThe first image kind of reads like \"this infrastructure is super important so don't damage it\". The calendar almost seems like a shopping list for domestic terrorists or something lol.", ">\n\nI mean, pretty obvious that dams, substations, bridges and the like are good targets for chaos. Google maps gives you all this plus Police stations and everything, with photos and the address. Useless to worry about it", ">\n\nSeriously, anyone who unironicly think terrorists were waiting for a cat calendar to list a bunch of locations to bomb is paranoid about the wrong things.", ">\n\nCats would hunt and eat us if they were bigger than us", ">\n\nThey already do, they are called Tigers.", ">\n\nIf there were smaller tigers, we would keep them as pets, but they'd break all our stuff to prove they're still in charge.", ">\n\nThey already do, they are called Cats.", ">\n\nOH MY GOD!", ">\n\nMy tabby is a cute little tiger", ">\n\nI knew we had infrastructure challenges, but I didn't realize we were facing an infrastructure cat-astrophe!", ">\n\nTake my r/angryupvote", ">\n\nI love how shitty the photoshop is. Really ties it all together", ">\n\nYeah I like the idea--but the pictures chosen and color grading are all off. I'd like this idea better executed more professionally.", ">\n\nOh no I'm serious. The unprofessionalism is the best part. I would absolutely pay money for this", ">\n\nOnly only thing weirder is gonna be their crazy ass plan to save the infrastructure.", ">\n\nIt's the engineer Corp, they can build giant cat carriers.", ">\n\nI guess anything beats the 40 million they spend on viagra to keep the soldiers saluting.", ">\n\nThis is delightful", ">\n\ni was imagining mountain lions breaking in to dumpsters or something, not giant house cats gnawing on substations, not disappointed.", ">\n\nI don’t need a calendar now that our pocket rectangles handle all of that for us, but I really want this calendar.", ">\n\nIt is really convenient to just walk by my schedule versus having to pull it up, scroll, click and expand. I tend to forget about things if I don’t see it in front of me, but that’s just how my brain works. Plus if you’re on the phone trying to schedule something it’s nice to write it out too.", ">\n\nI'm sorry, we're already booked for giant spiders.", ">\n\nI personally kinda love this.", ">\n\nBest use of a miniscule amount of our tax dollars in the entire US $1.7T budget. US Army Corp wins the internet today!", ">\n\nHonestly, the entire army corps of engineers may be one of highest rates of return on public good vs funding", ">\n\nSeriously. They do a shit ton of quality and important public work on a relatively shoe-string budget for engineering. I have a lot of respect for the people that work at the USACOE.", ">\n\nSeptember, now that one is art", ">\n\nHaters will say it's Photoshop.", ">\n\nThey’ve never seen Catzilla.", ">\n\nHero of the Week! Hail yourself!", ">\n\nThere it is!", ">\n\n\nThe Army Corps Of Engineers Has Released a 2023 Calendar Of Giant Cats Attacking <\n\nr/brand new sentence \nAlso, giant cats attacking infrastructure is so 2020. In 2023 it just sounds silly.", ">\n\nSeptember ❤️", ">\n\nOmg. I love this. Especially the text blurbs on the pictures. Very funny and adorable!", ">\n\nSounds like they understand cats are required if you want social media traction", ">\n\nI have never wanted to buy a calendar more than I do now!", ">\n\nOn the one hand, I applaud the idea.\nOn the other hand, the photoshop skills look like they came from the army corps of engineers.", ">\n\nWould you actually want them to look like they were perfectly matched to each environment? I'm pretty sure the comedic effect is all that matters here.\nAnd besides, it was just one engineer that created this on their spare time, rather than an official ACE production.", ">\n\nI was mainly being a bit snarky because the internet. That, and what I said was objectively true.", ">\n\nCan confirm, the Corps of Engineers fuckkkkks", ">\n\nGoddammit I just bought my 2023 calendar too lol", ">\n\nThat’s cute though, not worrisome like a lot of other r/nottheonion posts.", ">\n\nAs ever, the Army Corps of Engineers are the one branch of the US state that can get the important shit done", ">\n\nFrom the comments ITT it's evident that most people are unaware of how important they are to the lives of the majority of productive people in this country (people who live near a coastline or a major body of water). It's not just dams and rivers, it's the actual physical coastline of america that they look after.", ">\n\nYup, it seems double edged- people think oh, they're the army corps and assumes they must be doing only military stuff. But equally if it was civilianised no doubt it'd be a target for cuts. An incredible org, regardless. And whether it's cats or weather or warming or the collapse of neglected infrastructure they're going to get more and more important so it's a damn good thing they exist because in 2023, nobody would invent them...", ">\n\nUSACE is an agency that is funded by the DOD but is vastly ran by civilians. There are very few enlisted or commissioned people in the army corps.", ">\n\nOK this is a thing and this is awesome", ">\n\nOops, I had \"Zombie Redneck Torture Family\" in the betting pool.", ">\n\nGrumble. Never gonna see a merman...", ">\n\nUSACE Portland District is one of the absolute best public sector social media presences out there. Seriously. Check it out.", ">\n\nCats in military pictures is an entire IG channel", ">\n\nGood boot", ">\n\nCommand team must be TDY", ">\n\nThat was even better than the title made me think it would be.", ">\n\nI support my tax dollars going to causes such as this.", ">\n\nFinally tax dollars doing something good", ">\n\nI’m kind of disappointed. From the title, I thought there would be photos of actual big cats attacking infrastructure, not photoshopped domestic cats. Anyone have a photo of a puma going after an electrical substation? Or a tiger gnawing on a water line?", ">\n\nNo. No one has that. Would be very interesting though to compile a calendar like that. Peace brother.", ">\n\nGreat, now I need a color printer.\nSeriously, thank you u/radioman8414!", ">\n\nThis is how I want my tax money spent. Downloaded and put up in my office!", ">\n\nThe regional social media guy who put this together is constantly hilarious", ">\n\nGreatest calendar of 2023.", ">\n\nI need one of these for my office! I've worked on some of these dams!", ">\n\nCan I ask you some dam questions?? I’m sure you know a lot of dam information. I’m sure all of us would love some dam stories. Thank you.", ">\n\nSure way to have a more interesting calendar than just infrastructure.", ">\n\nI would so adopt one if they existed.", ">\n\nI've heard army corps of engineers are very difficult to house train. May want to consider before adopting one.", ">\n\nTouché.", ">\n\nThat's amazing, thank you for posting it!", ">\n\nIs there anywhere to buy a nice physical copy of the calendar?", ">\n\nThose cats are mind-controlled by taxoplasmosis alien ameobas!", ">\n\nI was thinking this was gonna be mountain lions taking out maintenance huts or something like that. This is so much better", ">\n\nI’m the daughter of a former Portland, Oregon, US Army Corps Engineer, and I can confirm they are a strange crew. It makes me view the dams on the Columbia River fondly?", ">\n\nI love this so much.", ">\n\nDude. Awesome.", ">\n\nI love this! My astronomy teacher once did a talk on space cats. It was hysterical. Out of the blue he showed us pictures of space with cats added in. He felt we needed a fun class for laughs. I want this calendar.", ">\n\nThis would be really cool if they got a decent digital artist. But they didn't, they used photoshop about as well as I can.", ">\n\nI think that adds to the charm", ">\n\nDon't even need to see it, where can I buy it", ">\n\nFrom the link - \"Because the Army Corps is a Government Agency, the calendar is in public domain and totally free to download and print\"", ">\n\nThis is so funny, because it’s my Dad’s old workplace (from 1971 until he retired). My father, however, has zero sense of humor so he’d never work on something like this.", ">\n\nI met a guy from the Army Corps of Engineers when I worked for the EPA. Smartest guy I've ever met and the 2nd most hippe like person I've ever met. I'd like to think he had something to do with this idea.", ">\n\nFinally the massive military budget of the US is put to good use.", ">\n\nThis is awesome. I might have to buy one.", ">\n\nNo need. It's free, though you have to print it yourself if you want a physical copy", ">\n\nThis is so adorable! I approve wholeheartedly.", ">\n\nIt's about time.", ">\n\nSappers lead the way", ">\n\nI have so much love for this.", ">\n\nEhisssayons.", ">\n\nLove it.", ">\n\nUnintended benefits of relaxed Marijuana policies :)", ">\n\nUsace has not relaxed cannabis policies. No federal agency has", ">\n\nThey certainly have relaxed policy, even though federal law hasn't changed. It's legal in my state and the current administration has announced they won't be pursuing user level Marijuana charges at the federal level.\nWake up.", ">\n\nUSACE still falls under the same policies as the rest of the army. They're treated as DA civilians, and subject to periodic biochemical testing and the resultant consequences if they pee hot. The army has, and will not in the foreseeable future, relax any policy regarding marijuana.", ">\n\nAdorable idea; wish they had hired someone better at photoshop", ">\n\nIts a free gag calendar that was probably just put together by someone for fun in their spare time. Considering the state of infrastructure in the US I don't imagine the Corps of Engineers has a lot of extra spending money to throw around", ">\n\nIf they were smart, they would print it for us and sell it. I don't want a crappy calender that I printed on regular paper, I want the real thing and I would be glad to pay for it.", ">\n\nGenius!! This needs to be a trend. Reddit, make it so...", ">\n\nfuck yeah we finally gonna balance the budget", ">\n\nDecember's hilarious. I want this calender.", ">\n\nYou can totally tell that this is not real. The lighting on the cats is so obviously different than the environmental mistake. Pathetic effort infrastructure geeks.", ">\n\nSo they can blame cats for shoddy workmanship and lax maintenance.", ">\n\nDon't capitalize \"Of\" in titles", ">\n\nWish they'd focus on not taking eight years to permit a fucking project, those lazy excuses for engineers.", ">\n\nYou’re crazy dude. These peeps have built some amazing things. Extremely impressive.", ">\n\nThey used to.", ">\n\n😂", ">\n\nThis whole absurd thing is exactly my sense of humour. LOVE it.", ">\n\nOregon! I've seen the one at Detroit Dam. Sneaky bugger. Hangs out with Bigfoot.", ">\n\nI need this", ">\n\nThat's some adorable terrorism right there.", ">\n\nI remember seeing them, on quad bikes, with a lot of equipment, on Myrtle Beach beaches, I always wondered what they were doing...", ">\n\nI love this sequel to Beginning of the End!", ">\n\nIs there a way I can buy a physical version?", ">\n\nThey're Demo-cats!", ">\n\nAny recommendations of the best way to get this printed semi-professionally? I tried checking Costco photo centre but they make you use a template.", ">\n\nOf course it’s Portland.", ">\n\nKind of disappointing I can't actually buy a printed one. My daughter would love this.", ">\n\nA pretty good idea for a poster. Who doesn't like cats being cats?", ">\n\nI really wish I had become a part of the ACOE but my mother didn't want her only son in the military.", ">\n\nUsace has civilian positions you're employed by the army, but you don't go through basic", ">\n\nI hope they pay more than Nidec.", ">\n\nThanks for sharing! Downloaded and got my new Lock Screen wallpaper.", ">\n\nDecember is 🔥", ">\n\nObligatory Cat Dynamics", ">\n\nPoliticians will say this is the proof of the REAL reason of why our infrastructure is deteriorating, then vote in a measure to hire their friends and family to counter this threat.", ">\n\nI didnt know cats were domestic terrorists like Republicans. lol", ">\n\nThis is the only kind of apocalypse I could see myself getting excited about.", ">\n\nAugust a missed opportunity to have CAT Excavators.", ">\n\nYou have my attention.", ">\n\nSmart move", ">\n\nGod help us.", ">\n\nBest thing to come out of the Army post WWII.", ">\n\n🤔", ">\n\n\"Let's write a two paragraph article about something freely available on the internet and make absolutely no attempt to actually tell you where to find it\".", ">\n\nCatjira!", ">\n\nhilarious!", ">\n\nFinally", ">\n\nThis is the oniony-est story I’ve seen on here in a while", ">\n\nCant wait for the next spending bill to include cat proofing our infrastructure", ">\n\nHonestly… I’d buy it.", ">\n\nWish I would have heard of that in November or so. This seems unique, fun and a great idea for a calendar.", ">\n\nI heard about this from Last Podcast on the Left, glad to see it pop up on my feed with pictures!", ">\n\nI'm gonna need an NSN For that...", ">\n\nOf course it’s the Portland District", ">\n\nHonestly this is worth buying", ">\n\nIm not a cat person, but I would buy the calendar.", ">\n\nAny way to view the album without losing my mind on that website? God it's shit on mobile.", ">\n\nI especially love how June just looks like a well framed optical illusion photo.", ">\n\nThis is cute and all, but man, it seems a little poor in taste that August is a kitty-shaped military drone blowing up an Iraqi preschool", ">\n\nWhat did Oregon do to deserve this", ">\n\nGee I read that and instantly I thought they had done a study and released an estimated calendar of when an where giant cats would attack infrastructure in 2023. Phew.", ">\n\nOn that day, humanity received a grim reminder…", ">\n\nah yes\nPortland keeping it weird again", ">\n\nit’s cute, but who wrote the copy?", ">\n\nAmazing", ">\n\neverything changed when the cat nation attacked", ">\n\nI'm into it", ">\n\nnow this is what I want my tax dollars going towards", ">\n\nI'd love to believe that there was some huge misunderstanding and somewhere someone had actually meant CATs like the company with the big heavy machinery", ">\n\nThe word \"attacking\" is doing a lot of work here", ">\n\nW", ">\n\nLook, I’m pretty anti-government, but this I can get behind", ">\n\nCattack on titan", ">\n\nI'm a civil engineer.\nI would fucking LOVE this.\nThis'll go good in my office next to my other engineering / math punny comics.\nLike this one.\nOr this one.\nOr, maybe this one.", ">\n\nThe Only well spent part of the military budget", ">\n\nI might buy it", ">\n\nWhat the fuck is that website", ">\n\nThis is great!", ">\n\nAugust is great.", ">\n\nNow the real MVP will tell us how to print this like an actual calendar.", ">\n\nThe only thing worthy of my tax dollars that the military has done this year.", ">\n\nOk, now we need a class II space laser pointer to distract the giant cats away from vital infrastructure.", ">\n\nThey all are so good. My favorite is May, then September.", ">\n\nOh... good.", ">\n\nThose paragraphs are hilarious.", ">\n\nNow THIS is news!", ">\n\nCatcatae", ">\n\nThey would, if they could.", ">\n\nOmg yes. Need.", ">\n\n\"attacking\" lol", ">\n\nThere’s a great Twitter user called Giant Military Cats or something like that where the user does much the same. \nSeems like a kind, lonely soul who revels in people thanking them. Give it a look", ">\n\nNot oniony, really… just awesome.", ">\n\nThis is what our tax dollars should be used for", ">\n\nThis is why shit takes forever to get built when the government is involved. Now it all make sense...", ">\n\nI love it, but the cats seemed poorly photoshopped in", ">\n\nThey're engineers, not graphic artists.", ">\n\nGotta normalize death and murder in any way possible. Next up, an E-sports tournament hosted by Army Recruiters! Complete with twitch ads and tik tok videos!", ">\n\nThis is the Army Corps of Engineers. They're more Bob the Builder than G.I. Joe.", ">\n\nThey literally hosted a twitch e sports tournament.", ">\n\nWas it City Skylines or Minecraft?", ">\n\nPainfully bad photoshop too…", ">\n\nHow about a calendar of captured MAGA white supremacist assholes who attacked critical infrastructure?", ">\n\nthis is what we get instead of universal healthcare?", ">\n\nSo I reckon the Corps of Engineers is now gonna blame a giant cat for their spectacular failures that led to loss of life during Hurricane Katrina.", ">\n\nWhy is this a thing lol", ">\n\nthey really could have done better, wow 3rd grader stuff here..." ]

[ "Imagine the work order. \nYour boss comes to you and says, \"Hey, you're in charge of the cats calendar.\"\n\"What calendar?\"\n\"The one with cats attacking infrastructure?\"\n\"What?\"", ">\n\nyou miss ONE day...", ">\n\nHail Vectron!", ">\n\nBy Vectron!", ">\n\nFor those yet to experience the holy might of Vectron's kindly claw", ">\n\nThank you. I had no idea.", ">\n\nYou are most welcome by Vectron", ">\n\nFor the love of all that is Vectron, your speech warms my Vectronic heart.", ">\n\nMay Vectron’s beard shed its benevolence upon us. 🙏🏻🙏🏻", ">\n\nAnd may all of his correspondence to us be sent Vectronically. So it is written, so shall it be done.", ">\n\nI live in Oregon and started to recognize a bunch of the dams, so I was like, “huh, that’s kinda cool.” Then I saw the text at the bottom of the first page. Portland District. Now a cat calendar makes perfect sense.", ">\n\nSame thing happened to me. I think I'm going to head to kinko's and have them print it out for me.", ">\n\nTell them you need to print some important official military documents before you show them what it is", ">\n\nDon’t forget to tell them you need it right meow!", ">\n\nWho will protect our infrastructure from this menace?", ">\n\nAn array of laser pointers.", ">\n\ncut to giant laser pointer satellite", ">\n\nomigod the jewish space lasers were real", ">\n\n*meowish space lasers", ">\n\nHey that's racist", ">\n\nI think it would be cheaper to buy a calendar than use the ink/toner required to print it.", ">\n\nThat's why you print it at work.", ">\n\nhaha true, oh wait I work from home...", ">\n\nIf you print from home for work you can write printer supplies off on your taxes :)", ">\n\nUh yes boss I needed a calendar, so… oh what? Use the company one? Ummm but the US army has a really nice one and I thought I’d be patriotic - what? Oh, yeah I know we’re in Canada, I just…", ">\n\nPortland is pretty much wannabe Vancouver, BC. I say it goes!", ">\n\nExactly what a Canadian would say...", ">\n\nGoodies, goodie goodie, yum yum.", ">\n\nI just scrolled until I found The Goodies reference but was wondering if I was going to find one at all.", ">\n\nIt's way down the list, isn't it? \n/knees hurt.", ">\n\nOw, my back! Get off my lawn!", ">\n\nOne engineer did it in his free time, and released it for use through the corps. \nThis was NOT government funded.", ">\n\nEven if it was government funded, I support this.", ">\n\nEven if it was government funded it would've been like maybe one day of pay at most? Not a ton for the amount of publicity they'll get that might make them even more money.", ">\n\nAssuming they already have the infrastructure pictures I would be surprised if it took more than 4 work hours. Also for chronically underfunded agencies that kind of PR is exactly how you get voters to convince the politicians to increase funds. I look forward to NASA figuring out how to photoshop giant cats playing with the planets like balls of yarn for their calendar", ">\n\n\nI look forward to NASA figuring out how to photoshop giant cats playing with the planets like balls of yarn for their calendar \n\nWell let me introduce you to the most bizarre social media messaging from an official U.S. government agency: The U.S. Consumer Product Safety Commission's Instagram feed. \nAnd before I catch any \"there's no way this is real\" replies, here's the Washington Post covering it: \n\nHow a federal bureaucrat uses astronaut babies and dogs riding pigeons to try to save your life", ">\n\nThis is rad!", ">\n\nCISA losing their shit rn", ">\n\nI would like one.", ">\n\nIt's a free PDF.", ">\n\nNo he would like one of the cats", ">\n\nyOu wOuLdN'T DoWnloAd a cAT", ">\n\nI can’t believe they included Sherlock getting knocked off a cliff. At least he didn’t jump this time.", ">\n\nI'm shocked that you're the only person I've seen comment on this so far! it's hilarious", ">\n\n\"Every year, dozens of cats attack important infrastructure for our country causing dozens of dollars of damage. Won't you help?\"", ">\n\nI heard this with Sarah McLoughlin's voice", ">\n\nArmy Cats", ">\n\nNow do it with pictures of our crumbling infrastructure.", ">\n\nThis seems like one of those things that is somehow going to age poorly given our Universe's current sense of irony. I don't know how exactly, but there's going to be some mass tragedy involving cats and a suspension bridge or something this year.", ">\n\nThe first image kind of reads like \"this infrastructure is super important so don't damage it\". The calendar almost seems like a shopping list for domestic terrorists or something lol.", ">\n\nI mean, pretty obvious that dams, substations, bridges and the like are good targets for chaos. Google maps gives you all this plus Police stations and everything, with photos and the address. Useless to worry about it", ">\n\nSeriously, anyone who unironicly think terrorists were waiting for a cat calendar to list a bunch of locations to bomb is paranoid about the wrong things.", ">\n\nCats would hunt and eat us if they were bigger than us", ">\n\nThey already do, they are called Tigers.", ">\n\nIf there were smaller tigers, we would keep them as pets, but they'd break all our stuff to prove they're still in charge.", ">\n\nThey already do, they are called Cats.", ">\n\nOH MY GOD!", ">\n\nMy tabby is a cute little tiger", ">\n\nI knew we had infrastructure challenges, but I didn't realize we were facing an infrastructure cat-astrophe!", ">\n\nTake my r/angryupvote", ">\n\nI love how shitty the photoshop is. Really ties it all together", ">\n\nYeah I like the idea--but the pictures chosen and color grading are all off. I'd like this idea better executed more professionally.", ">\n\nOh no I'm serious. The unprofessionalism is the best part. I would absolutely pay money for this", ">\n\nOnly only thing weirder is gonna be their crazy ass plan to save the infrastructure.", ">\n\nIt's the engineer Corp, they can build giant cat carriers.", ">\n\nI guess anything beats the 40 million they spend on viagra to keep the soldiers saluting.", ">\n\nThis is delightful", ">\n\ni was imagining mountain lions breaking in to dumpsters or something, not giant house cats gnawing on substations, not disappointed.", ">\n\nI don’t need a calendar now that our pocket rectangles handle all of that for us, but I really want this calendar.", ">\n\nIt is really convenient to just walk by my schedule versus having to pull it up, scroll, click and expand. I tend to forget about things if I don’t see it in front of me, but that’s just how my brain works. Plus if you’re on the phone trying to schedule something it’s nice to write it out too.", ">\n\nI'm sorry, we're already booked for giant spiders.", ">\n\nI personally kinda love this.", ">\n\nBest use of a miniscule amount of our tax dollars in the entire US $1.7T budget. US Army Corp wins the internet today!", ">\n\nHonestly, the entire army corps of engineers may be one of highest rates of return on public good vs funding", ">\n\nSeriously. They do a shit ton of quality and important public work on a relatively shoe-string budget for engineering. I have a lot of respect for the people that work at the USACOE.", ">\n\nSeptember, now that one is art", ">\n\nHaters will say it's Photoshop.", ">\n\nThey’ve never seen Catzilla.", ">\n\nHero of the Week! Hail yourself!", ">\n\nThere it is!", ">\n\n\nThe Army Corps Of Engineers Has Released a 2023 Calendar Of Giant Cats Attacking <\n\nr/brand new sentence \nAlso, giant cats attacking infrastructure is so 2020. In 2023 it just sounds silly.", ">\n\nSeptember ❤️", ">\n\nOmg. I love this. Especially the text blurbs on the pictures. Very funny and adorable!", ">\n\nSounds like they understand cats are required if you want social media traction", ">\n\nI have never wanted to buy a calendar more than I do now!", ">\n\nOn the one hand, I applaud the idea.\nOn the other hand, the photoshop skills look like they came from the army corps of engineers.", ">\n\nWould you actually want them to look like they were perfectly matched to each environment? I'm pretty sure the comedic effect is all that matters here.\nAnd besides, it was just one engineer that created this on their spare time, rather than an official ACE production.", ">\n\nI was mainly being a bit snarky because the internet. That, and what I said was objectively true.", ">\n\nCan confirm, the Corps of Engineers fuckkkkks", ">\n\nGoddammit I just bought my 2023 calendar too lol", ">\n\nThat’s cute though, not worrisome like a lot of other r/nottheonion posts.", ">\n\nAs ever, the Army Corps of Engineers are the one branch of the US state that can get the important shit done", ">\n\nFrom the comments ITT it's evident that most people are unaware of how important they are to the lives of the majority of productive people in this country (people who live near a coastline or a major body of water). It's not just dams and rivers, it's the actual physical coastline of america that they look after.", ">\n\nYup, it seems double edged- people think oh, they're the army corps and assumes they must be doing only military stuff. But equally if it was civilianised no doubt it'd be a target for cuts. An incredible org, regardless. And whether it's cats or weather or warming or the collapse of neglected infrastructure they're going to get more and more important so it's a damn good thing they exist because in 2023, nobody would invent them...", ">\n\nUSACE is an agency that is funded by the DOD but is vastly ran by civilians. There are very few enlisted or commissioned people in the army corps.", ">\n\nOK this is a thing and this is awesome", ">\n\nOops, I had \"Zombie Redneck Torture Family\" in the betting pool.", ">\n\nGrumble. Never gonna see a merman...", ">\n\nUSACE Portland District is one of the absolute best public sector social media presences out there. Seriously. Check it out.", ">\n\nCats in military pictures is an entire IG channel", ">\n\nGood boot", ">\n\nCommand team must be TDY", ">\n\nThat was even better than the title made me think it would be.", ">\n\nI support my tax dollars going to causes such as this.", ">\n\nFinally tax dollars doing something good", ">\n\nI’m kind of disappointed. From the title, I thought there would be photos of actual big cats attacking infrastructure, not photoshopped domestic cats. Anyone have a photo of a puma going after an electrical substation? Or a tiger gnawing on a water line?", ">\n\nNo. No one has that. Would be very interesting though to compile a calendar like that. Peace brother.", ">\n\nGreat, now I need a color printer.\nSeriously, thank you u/radioman8414!", ">\n\nThis is how I want my tax money spent. Downloaded and put up in my office!", ">\n\nThe regional social media guy who put this together is constantly hilarious", ">\n\nGreatest calendar of 2023.", ">\n\nI need one of these for my office! I've worked on some of these dams!", ">\n\nCan I ask you some dam questions?? I’m sure you know a lot of dam information. I’m sure all of us would love some dam stories. Thank you.", ">\n\nSure way to have a more interesting calendar than just infrastructure.", ">\n\nI would so adopt one if they existed.", ">\n\nI've heard army corps of engineers are very difficult to house train. May want to consider before adopting one.", ">\n\nTouché.", ">\n\nThat's amazing, thank you for posting it!", ">\n\nIs there anywhere to buy a nice physical copy of the calendar?", ">\n\nThose cats are mind-controlled by taxoplasmosis alien ameobas!", ">\n\nI was thinking this was gonna be mountain lions taking out maintenance huts or something like that. This is so much better", ">\n\nI’m the daughter of a former Portland, Oregon, US Army Corps Engineer, and I can confirm they are a strange crew. It makes me view the dams on the Columbia River fondly?", ">\n\nI love this so much.", ">\n\nDude. Awesome.", ">\n\nI love this! My astronomy teacher once did a talk on space cats. It was hysterical. Out of the blue he showed us pictures of space with cats added in. He felt we needed a fun class for laughs. I want this calendar.", ">\n\nThis would be really cool if they got a decent digital artist. But they didn't, they used photoshop about as well as I can.", ">\n\nI think that adds to the charm", ">\n\nDon't even need to see it, where can I buy it", ">\n\nFrom the link - \"Because the Army Corps is a Government Agency, the calendar is in public domain and totally free to download and print\"", ">\n\nThis is so funny, because it’s my Dad’s old workplace (from 1971 until he retired). My father, however, has zero sense of humor so he’d never work on something like this.", ">\n\nI met a guy from the Army Corps of Engineers when I worked for the EPA. Smartest guy I've ever met and the 2nd most hippe like person I've ever met. I'd like to think he had something to do with this idea.", ">\n\nFinally the massive military budget of the US is put to good use.", ">\n\nThis is awesome. I might have to buy one.", ">\n\nNo need. It's free, though you have to print it yourself if you want a physical copy", ">\n\nThis is so adorable! I approve wholeheartedly.", ">\n\nIt's about time.", ">\n\nSappers lead the way", ">\n\nI have so much love for this.", ">\n\nEhisssayons.", ">\n\nLove it.", ">\n\nUnintended benefits of relaxed Marijuana policies :)", ">\n\nUsace has not relaxed cannabis policies. No federal agency has", ">\n\nThey certainly have relaxed policy, even though federal law hasn't changed. It's legal in my state and the current administration has announced they won't be pursuing user level Marijuana charges at the federal level.\nWake up.", ">\n\nUSACE still falls under the same policies as the rest of the army. They're treated as DA civilians, and subject to periodic biochemical testing and the resultant consequences if they pee hot. The army has, and will not in the foreseeable future, relax any policy regarding marijuana.", ">\n\nAdorable idea; wish they had hired someone better at photoshop", ">\n\nIts a free gag calendar that was probably just put together by someone for fun in their spare time. Considering the state of infrastructure in the US I don't imagine the Corps of Engineers has a lot of extra spending money to throw around", ">\n\nIf they were smart, they would print it for us and sell it. I don't want a crappy calender that I printed on regular paper, I want the real thing and I would be glad to pay for it.", ">\n\nGenius!! This needs to be a trend. Reddit, make it so...", ">\n\nfuck yeah we finally gonna balance the budget", ">\n\nDecember's hilarious. I want this calender.", ">\n\nYou can totally tell that this is not real. The lighting on the cats is so obviously different than the environmental mistake. Pathetic effort infrastructure geeks.", ">\n\nSo they can blame cats for shoddy workmanship and lax maintenance.", ">\n\nDon't capitalize \"Of\" in titles", ">\n\nWish they'd focus on not taking eight years to permit a fucking project, those lazy excuses for engineers.", ">\n\nYou’re crazy dude. These peeps have built some amazing things. Extremely impressive.", ">\n\nThey used to.", ">\n\n😂", ">\n\nThis whole absurd thing is exactly my sense of humour. LOVE it.", ">\n\nOregon! I've seen the one at Detroit Dam. Sneaky bugger. Hangs out with Bigfoot.", ">\n\nI need this", ">\n\nThat's some adorable terrorism right there.", ">\n\nI remember seeing them, on quad bikes, with a lot of equipment, on Myrtle Beach beaches, I always wondered what they were doing...", ">\n\nI love this sequel to Beginning of the End!", ">\n\nIs there a way I can buy a physical version?", ">\n\nThey're Demo-cats!", ">\n\nAny recommendations of the best way to get this printed semi-professionally? I tried checking Costco photo centre but they make you use a template.", ">\n\nOf course it’s Portland.", ">\n\nKind of disappointing I can't actually buy a printed one. My daughter would love this.", ">\n\nA pretty good idea for a poster. Who doesn't like cats being cats?", ">\n\nI really wish I had become a part of the ACOE but my mother didn't want her only son in the military.", ">\n\nUsace has civilian positions you're employed by the army, but you don't go through basic", ">\n\nI hope they pay more than Nidec.", ">\n\nThanks for sharing! Downloaded and got my new Lock Screen wallpaper.", ">\n\nDecember is 🔥", ">\n\nObligatory Cat Dynamics", ">\n\nPoliticians will say this is the proof of the REAL reason of why our infrastructure is deteriorating, then vote in a measure to hire their friends and family to counter this threat.", ">\n\nI didnt know cats were domestic terrorists like Republicans. lol", ">\n\nThis is the only kind of apocalypse I could see myself getting excited about.", ">\n\nAugust a missed opportunity to have CAT Excavators.", ">\n\nYou have my attention.", ">\n\nSmart move", ">\n\nGod help us.", ">\n\nBest thing to come out of the Army post WWII.", ">\n\n🤔", ">\n\n\"Let's write a two paragraph article about something freely available on the internet and make absolutely no attempt to actually tell you where to find it\".", ">\n\nCatjira!", ">\n\nhilarious!", ">\n\nFinally", ">\n\nThis is the oniony-est story I’ve seen on here in a while", ">\n\nCant wait for the next spending bill to include cat proofing our infrastructure", ">\n\nHonestly… I’d buy it.", ">\n\nWish I would have heard of that in November or so. This seems unique, fun and a great idea for a calendar.", ">\n\nI heard about this from Last Podcast on the Left, glad to see it pop up on my feed with pictures!", ">\n\nI'm gonna need an NSN For that...", ">\n\nOf course it’s the Portland District", ">\n\nHonestly this is worth buying", ">\n\nIm not a cat person, but I would buy the calendar.", ">\n\nAny way to view the album without losing my mind on that website? God it's shit on mobile.", ">\n\nI especially love how June just looks like a well framed optical illusion photo.", ">\n\nThis is cute and all, but man, it seems a little poor in taste that August is a kitty-shaped military drone blowing up an Iraqi preschool", ">\n\nWhat did Oregon do to deserve this", ">\n\nGee I read that and instantly I thought they had done a study and released an estimated calendar of when an where giant cats would attack infrastructure in 2023. Phew.", ">\n\nOn that day, humanity received a grim reminder…", ">\n\nah yes\nPortland keeping it weird again", ">\n\nit’s cute, but who wrote the copy?", ">\n\nAmazing", ">\n\neverything changed when the cat nation attacked", ">\n\nI'm into it", ">\n\nnow this is what I want my tax dollars going towards", ">\n\nI'd love to believe that there was some huge misunderstanding and somewhere someone had actually meant CATs like the company with the big heavy machinery", ">\n\nThe word \"attacking\" is doing a lot of work here", ">\n\nW", ">\n\nLook, I’m pretty anti-government, but this I can get behind", ">\n\nCattack on titan", ">\n\nI'm a civil engineer.\nI would fucking LOVE this.\nThis'll go good in my office next to my other engineering / math punny comics.\nLike this one.\nOr this one.\nOr, maybe this one.", ">\n\nThe Only well spent part of the military budget", ">\n\nI might buy it", ">\n\nWhat the fuck is that website", ">\n\nThis is great!", ">\n\nAugust is great.", ">\n\nNow the real MVP will tell us how to print this like an actual calendar.", ">\n\nThe only thing worthy of my tax dollars that the military has done this year.", ">\n\nOk, now we need a class II space laser pointer to distract the giant cats away from vital infrastructure.", ">\n\nThey all are so good. My favorite is May, then September.", ">\n\nOh... good.", ">\n\nThose paragraphs are hilarious.", ">\n\nNow THIS is news!", ">\n\nCatcatae", ">\n\nThey would, if they could.", ">\n\nOmg yes. Need.", ">\n\n\"attacking\" lol", ">\n\nThere’s a great Twitter user called Giant Military Cats or something like that where the user does much the same. \nSeems like a kind, lonely soul who revels in people thanking them. Give it a look", ">\n\nNot oniony, really… just awesome.", ">\n\nThis is what our tax dollars should be used for", ">\n\nThis is why shit takes forever to get built when the government is involved. Now it all make sense...", ">\n\nI love it, but the cats seemed poorly photoshopped in", ">\n\nThey're engineers, not graphic artists.", ">\n\nGotta normalize death and murder in any way possible. Next up, an E-sports tournament hosted by Army Recruiters! Complete with twitch ads and tik tok videos!", ">\n\nThis is the Army Corps of Engineers. They're more Bob the Builder than G.I. Joe.", ">\n\nThey literally hosted a twitch e sports tournament.", ">\n\nWas it City Skylines or Minecraft?", ">\n\nPainfully bad photoshop too…", ">\n\nHow about a calendar of captured MAGA white supremacist assholes who attacked critical infrastructure?", ">\n\nthis is what we get instead of universal healthcare?", ">\n\nSo I reckon the Corps of Engineers is now gonna blame a giant cat for their spectacular failures that led to loss of life during Hurricane Katrina.", ">\n\nWhy is this a thing lol", ">\n\nthey really could have done better, wow 3rd grader stuff here...", ">\n\nI assume they got 3/4 of the way through then ran out of budget, then made the contractor do the rest out of pocket to get paid." ]

[ "Imagine the work order. \nYour boss comes to you and says, \"Hey, you're in charge of the cats calendar.\"\n\"What calendar?\"\n\"The one with cats attacking infrastructure?\"\n\"What?\"", ">\n\nyou miss ONE day...", ">\n\nHail Vectron!", ">\n\nBy Vectron!", ">\n\nFor those yet to experience the holy might of Vectron's kindly claw", ">\n\nThank you. I had no idea.", ">\n\nYou are most welcome by Vectron", ">\n\nFor the love of all that is Vectron, your speech warms my Vectronic heart.", ">\n\nMay Vectron’s beard shed its benevolence upon us. 🙏🏻🙏🏻", ">\n\nAnd may all of his correspondence to us be sent Vectronically. So it is written, so shall it be done.", ">\n\nI live in Oregon and started to recognize a bunch of the dams, so I was like, “huh, that’s kinda cool.” Then I saw the text at the bottom of the first page. Portland District. Now a cat calendar makes perfect sense.", ">\n\nSame thing happened to me. I think I'm going to head to kinko's and have them print it out for me.", ">\n\nTell them you need to print some important official military documents before you show them what it is", ">\n\nDon’t forget to tell them you need it right meow!", ">\n\nWho will protect our infrastructure from this menace?", ">\n\nAn array of laser pointers.", ">\n\ncut to giant laser pointer satellite", ">\n\nomigod the jewish space lasers were real", ">\n\n*meowish space lasers", ">\n\nHey that's racist", ">\n\nI think it would be cheaper to buy a calendar than use the ink/toner required to print it.", ">\n\nThat's why you print it at work.", ">\n\nhaha true, oh wait I work from home...", ">\n\nIf you print from home for work you can write printer supplies off on your taxes :)", ">\n\nUh yes boss I needed a calendar, so… oh what? Use the company one? Ummm but the US army has a really nice one and I thought I’d be patriotic - what? Oh, yeah I know we’re in Canada, I just…", ">\n\nPortland is pretty much wannabe Vancouver, BC. I say it goes!", ">\n\nExactly what a Canadian would say...", ">\n\nGoodies, goodie goodie, yum yum.", ">\n\nI just scrolled until I found The Goodies reference but was wondering if I was going to find one at all.", ">\n\nIt's way down the list, isn't it? \n/knees hurt.", ">\n\nOw, my back! Get off my lawn!", ">\n\nOne engineer did it in his free time, and released it for use through the corps. \nThis was NOT government funded.", ">\n\nEven if it was government funded, I support this.", ">\n\nEven if it was government funded it would've been like maybe one day of pay at most? Not a ton for the amount of publicity they'll get that might make them even more money.", ">\n\nAssuming they already have the infrastructure pictures I would be surprised if it took more than 4 work hours. Also for chronically underfunded agencies that kind of PR is exactly how you get voters to convince the politicians to increase funds. I look forward to NASA figuring out how to photoshop giant cats playing with the planets like balls of yarn for their calendar", ">\n\n\nI look forward to NASA figuring out how to photoshop giant cats playing with the planets like balls of yarn for their calendar \n\nWell let me introduce you to the most bizarre social media messaging from an official U.S. government agency: The U.S. Consumer Product Safety Commission's Instagram feed. \nAnd before I catch any \"there's no way this is real\" replies, here's the Washington Post covering it: \n\nHow a federal bureaucrat uses astronaut babies and dogs riding pigeons to try to save your life", ">\n\nThis is rad!", ">\n\nCISA losing their shit rn", ">\n\nI would like one.", ">\n\nIt's a free PDF.", ">\n\nNo he would like one of the cats", ">\n\nyOu wOuLdN'T DoWnloAd a cAT", ">\n\nI can’t believe they included Sherlock getting knocked off a cliff. At least he didn’t jump this time.", ">\n\nI'm shocked that you're the only person I've seen comment on this so far! it's hilarious", ">\n\n\"Every year, dozens of cats attack important infrastructure for our country causing dozens of dollars of damage. Won't you help?\"", ">\n\nI heard this with Sarah McLoughlin's voice", ">\n\nArmy Cats", ">\n\nNow do it with pictures of our crumbling infrastructure.", ">\n\nThis seems like one of those things that is somehow going to age poorly given our Universe's current sense of irony. I don't know how exactly, but there's going to be some mass tragedy involving cats and a suspension bridge or something this year.", ">\n\nThe first image kind of reads like \"this infrastructure is super important so don't damage it\". The calendar almost seems like a shopping list for domestic terrorists or something lol.", ">\n\nI mean, pretty obvious that dams, substations, bridges and the like are good targets for chaos. Google maps gives you all this plus Police stations and everything, with photos and the address. Useless to worry about it", ">\n\nSeriously, anyone who unironicly think terrorists were waiting for a cat calendar to list a bunch of locations to bomb is paranoid about the wrong things.", ">\n\nCats would hunt and eat us if they were bigger than us", ">\n\nThey already do, they are called Tigers.", ">\n\nIf there were smaller tigers, we would keep them as pets, but they'd break all our stuff to prove they're still in charge.", ">\n\nThey already do, they are called Cats.", ">\n\nOH MY GOD!", ">\n\nMy tabby is a cute little tiger", ">\n\nI knew we had infrastructure challenges, but I didn't realize we were facing an infrastructure cat-astrophe!", ">\n\nTake my r/angryupvote", ">\n\nI love how shitty the photoshop is. Really ties it all together", ">\n\nYeah I like the idea--but the pictures chosen and color grading are all off. I'd like this idea better executed more professionally.", ">\n\nOh no I'm serious. The unprofessionalism is the best part. I would absolutely pay money for this", ">\n\nOnly only thing weirder is gonna be their crazy ass plan to save the infrastructure.", ">\n\nIt's the engineer Corp, they can build giant cat carriers.", ">\n\nI guess anything beats the 40 million they spend on viagra to keep the soldiers saluting.", ">\n\nThis is delightful", ">\n\ni was imagining mountain lions breaking in to dumpsters or something, not giant house cats gnawing on substations, not disappointed.", ">\n\nI don’t need a calendar now that our pocket rectangles handle all of that for us, but I really want this calendar.", ">\n\nIt is really convenient to just walk by my schedule versus having to pull it up, scroll, click and expand. I tend to forget about things if I don’t see it in front of me, but that’s just how my brain works. Plus if you’re on the phone trying to schedule something it’s nice to write it out too.", ">\n\nI'm sorry, we're already booked for giant spiders.", ">\n\nI personally kinda love this.", ">\n\nBest use of a miniscule amount of our tax dollars in the entire US $1.7T budget. US Army Corp wins the internet today!", ">\n\nHonestly, the entire army corps of engineers may be one of highest rates of return on public good vs funding", ">\n\nSeriously. They do a shit ton of quality and important public work on a relatively shoe-string budget for engineering. I have a lot of respect for the people that work at the USACOE.", ">\n\nSeptember, now that one is art", ">\n\nHaters will say it's Photoshop.", ">\n\nThey’ve never seen Catzilla.", ">\n\nHero of the Week! Hail yourself!", ">\n\nThere it is!", ">\n\n\nThe Army Corps Of Engineers Has Released a 2023 Calendar Of Giant Cats Attacking <\n\nr/brand new sentence \nAlso, giant cats attacking infrastructure is so 2020. In 2023 it just sounds silly.", ">\n\nSeptember ❤️", ">\n\nOmg. I love this. Especially the text blurbs on the pictures. Very funny and adorable!", ">\n\nSounds like they understand cats are required if you want social media traction", ">\n\nI have never wanted to buy a calendar more than I do now!", ">\n\nOn the one hand, I applaud the idea.\nOn the other hand, the photoshop skills look like they came from the army corps of engineers.", ">\n\nWould you actually want them to look like they were perfectly matched to each environment? I'm pretty sure the comedic effect is all that matters here.\nAnd besides, it was just one engineer that created this on their spare time, rather than an official ACE production.", ">\n\nI was mainly being a bit snarky because the internet. That, and what I said was objectively true.", ">\n\nCan confirm, the Corps of Engineers fuckkkkks", ">\n\nGoddammit I just bought my 2023 calendar too lol", ">\n\nThat’s cute though, not worrisome like a lot of other r/nottheonion posts.", ">\n\nAs ever, the Army Corps of Engineers are the one branch of the US state that can get the important shit done", ">\n\nFrom the comments ITT it's evident that most people are unaware of how important they are to the lives of the majority of productive people in this country (people who live near a coastline or a major body of water). It's not just dams and rivers, it's the actual physical coastline of america that they look after.", ">\n\nYup, it seems double edged- people think oh, they're the army corps and assumes they must be doing only military stuff. But equally if it was civilianised no doubt it'd be a target for cuts. An incredible org, regardless. And whether it's cats or weather or warming or the collapse of neglected infrastructure they're going to get more and more important so it's a damn good thing they exist because in 2023, nobody would invent them...", ">\n\nUSACE is an agency that is funded by the DOD but is vastly ran by civilians. There are very few enlisted or commissioned people in the army corps.", ">\n\nOK this is a thing and this is awesome", ">\n\nOops, I had \"Zombie Redneck Torture Family\" in the betting pool.", ">\n\nGrumble. Never gonna see a merman...", ">\n\nUSACE Portland District is one of the absolute best public sector social media presences out there. Seriously. Check it out.", ">\n\nCats in military pictures is an entire IG channel", ">\n\nGood boot", ">\n\nCommand team must be TDY", ">\n\nThat was even better than the title made me think it would be.", ">\n\nI support my tax dollars going to causes such as this.", ">\n\nFinally tax dollars doing something good", ">\n\nI’m kind of disappointed. From the title, I thought there would be photos of actual big cats attacking infrastructure, not photoshopped domestic cats. Anyone have a photo of a puma going after an electrical substation? Or a tiger gnawing on a water line?", ">\n\nNo. No one has that. Would be very interesting though to compile a calendar like that. Peace brother.", ">\n\nGreat, now I need a color printer.\nSeriously, thank you u/radioman8414!", ">\n\nThis is how I want my tax money spent. Downloaded and put up in my office!", ">\n\nThe regional social media guy who put this together is constantly hilarious", ">\n\nGreatest calendar of 2023.", ">\n\nI need one of these for my office! I've worked on some of these dams!", ">\n\nCan I ask you some dam questions?? I’m sure you know a lot of dam information. I’m sure all of us would love some dam stories. Thank you.", ">\n\nSure way to have a more interesting calendar than just infrastructure.", ">\n\nI would so adopt one if they existed.", ">\n\nI've heard army corps of engineers are very difficult to house train. May want to consider before adopting one.", ">\n\nTouché.", ">\n\nThat's amazing, thank you for posting it!", ">\n\nIs there anywhere to buy a nice physical copy of the calendar?", ">\n\nThose cats are mind-controlled by taxoplasmosis alien ameobas!", ">\n\nI was thinking this was gonna be mountain lions taking out maintenance huts or something like that. This is so much better", ">\n\nI’m the daughter of a former Portland, Oregon, US Army Corps Engineer, and I can confirm they are a strange crew. It makes me view the dams on the Columbia River fondly?", ">\n\nI love this so much.", ">\n\nDude. Awesome.", ">\n\nI love this! My astronomy teacher once did a talk on space cats. It was hysterical. Out of the blue he showed us pictures of space with cats added in. He felt we needed a fun class for laughs. I want this calendar.", ">\n\nThis would be really cool if they got a decent digital artist. But they didn't, they used photoshop about as well as I can.", ">\n\nI think that adds to the charm", ">\n\nDon't even need to see it, where can I buy it", ">\n\nFrom the link - \"Because the Army Corps is a Government Agency, the calendar is in public domain and totally free to download and print\"", ">\n\nThis is so funny, because it’s my Dad’s old workplace (from 1971 until he retired). My father, however, has zero sense of humor so he’d never work on something like this.", ">\n\nI met a guy from the Army Corps of Engineers when I worked for the EPA. Smartest guy I've ever met and the 2nd most hippe like person I've ever met. I'd like to think he had something to do with this idea.", ">\n\nFinally the massive military budget of the US is put to good use.", ">\n\nThis is awesome. I might have to buy one.", ">\n\nNo need. It's free, though you have to print it yourself if you want a physical copy", ">\n\nThis is so adorable! I approve wholeheartedly.", ">\n\nIt's about time.", ">\n\nSappers lead the way", ">\n\nI have so much love for this.", ">\n\nEhisssayons.", ">\n\nLove it.", ">\n\nUnintended benefits of relaxed Marijuana policies :)", ">\n\nUsace has not relaxed cannabis policies. No federal agency has", ">\n\nThey certainly have relaxed policy, even though federal law hasn't changed. It's legal in my state and the current administration has announced they won't be pursuing user level Marijuana charges at the federal level.\nWake up.", ">\n\nUSACE still falls under the same policies as the rest of the army. They're treated as DA civilians, and subject to periodic biochemical testing and the resultant consequences if they pee hot. The army has, and will not in the foreseeable future, relax any policy regarding marijuana.", ">\n\nAdorable idea; wish they had hired someone better at photoshop", ">\n\nIts a free gag calendar that was probably just put together by someone for fun in their spare time. Considering the state of infrastructure in the US I don't imagine the Corps of Engineers has a lot of extra spending money to throw around", ">\n\nIf they were smart, they would print it for us and sell it. I don't want a crappy calender that I printed on regular paper, I want the real thing and I would be glad to pay for it.", ">\n\nGenius!! This needs to be a trend. Reddit, make it so...", ">\n\nfuck yeah we finally gonna balance the budget", ">\n\nDecember's hilarious. I want this calender.", ">\n\nYou can totally tell that this is not real. The lighting on the cats is so obviously different than the environmental mistake. Pathetic effort infrastructure geeks.", ">\n\nSo they can blame cats for shoddy workmanship and lax maintenance.", ">\n\nDon't capitalize \"Of\" in titles", ">\n\nWish they'd focus on not taking eight years to permit a fucking project, those lazy excuses for engineers.", ">\n\nYou’re crazy dude. These peeps have built some amazing things. Extremely impressive.", ">\n\nThey used to.", ">\n\n😂", ">\n\nThis whole absurd thing is exactly my sense of humour. LOVE it.", ">\n\nOregon! I've seen the one at Detroit Dam. Sneaky bugger. Hangs out with Bigfoot.", ">\n\nI need this", ">\n\nThat's some adorable terrorism right there.", ">\n\nI remember seeing them, on quad bikes, with a lot of equipment, on Myrtle Beach beaches, I always wondered what they were doing...", ">\n\nI love this sequel to Beginning of the End!", ">\n\nIs there a way I can buy a physical version?", ">\n\nThey're Demo-cats!", ">\n\nAny recommendations of the best way to get this printed semi-professionally? I tried checking Costco photo centre but they make you use a template.", ">\n\nOf course it’s Portland.", ">\n\nKind of disappointing I can't actually buy a printed one. My daughter would love this.", ">\n\nA pretty good idea for a poster. Who doesn't like cats being cats?", ">\n\nI really wish I had become a part of the ACOE but my mother didn't want her only son in the military.", ">\n\nUsace has civilian positions you're employed by the army, but you don't go through basic", ">\n\nI hope they pay more than Nidec.", ">\n\nThanks for sharing! Downloaded and got my new Lock Screen wallpaper.", ">\n\nDecember is 🔥", ">\n\nObligatory Cat Dynamics", ">\n\nPoliticians will say this is the proof of the REAL reason of why our infrastructure is deteriorating, then vote in a measure to hire their friends and family to counter this threat.", ">\n\nI didnt know cats were domestic terrorists like Republicans. lol", ">\n\nThis is the only kind of apocalypse I could see myself getting excited about.", ">\n\nAugust a missed opportunity to have CAT Excavators.", ">\n\nYou have my attention.", ">\n\nSmart move", ">\n\nGod help us.", ">\n\nBest thing to come out of the Army post WWII.", ">\n\n🤔", ">\n\n\"Let's write a two paragraph article about something freely available on the internet and make absolutely no attempt to actually tell you where to find it\".", ">\n\nCatjira!", ">\n\nhilarious!", ">\n\nFinally", ">\n\nThis is the oniony-est story I’ve seen on here in a while", ">\n\nCant wait for the next spending bill to include cat proofing our infrastructure", ">\n\nHonestly… I’d buy it.", ">\n\nWish I would have heard of that in November or so. This seems unique, fun and a great idea for a calendar.", ">\n\nI heard about this from Last Podcast on the Left, glad to see it pop up on my feed with pictures!", ">\n\nI'm gonna need an NSN For that...", ">\n\nOf course it’s the Portland District", ">\n\nHonestly this is worth buying", ">\n\nIm not a cat person, but I would buy the calendar.", ">\n\nAny way to view the album without losing my mind on that website? God it's shit on mobile.", ">\n\nI especially love how June just looks like a well framed optical illusion photo.", ">\n\nThis is cute and all, but man, it seems a little poor in taste that August is a kitty-shaped military drone blowing up an Iraqi preschool", ">\n\nWhat did Oregon do to deserve this", ">\n\nGee I read that and instantly I thought they had done a study and released an estimated calendar of when an where giant cats would attack infrastructure in 2023. Phew.", ">\n\nOn that day, humanity received a grim reminder…", ">\n\nah yes\nPortland keeping it weird again", ">\n\nit’s cute, but who wrote the copy?", ">\n\nAmazing", ">\n\neverything changed when the cat nation attacked", ">\n\nI'm into it", ">\n\nnow this is what I want my tax dollars going towards", ">\n\nI'd love to believe that there was some huge misunderstanding and somewhere someone had actually meant CATs like the company with the big heavy machinery", ">\n\nThe word \"attacking\" is doing a lot of work here", ">\n\nW", ">\n\nLook, I’m pretty anti-government, but this I can get behind", ">\n\nCattack on titan", ">\n\nI'm a civil engineer.\nI would fucking LOVE this.\nThis'll go good in my office next to my other engineering / math punny comics.\nLike this one.\nOr this one.\nOr, maybe this one.", ">\n\nThe Only well spent part of the military budget", ">\n\nI might buy it", ">\n\nWhat the fuck is that website", ">\n\nThis is great!", ">\n\nAugust is great.", ">\n\nNow the real MVP will tell us how to print this like an actual calendar.", ">\n\nThe only thing worthy of my tax dollars that the military has done this year.", ">\n\nOk, now we need a class II space laser pointer to distract the giant cats away from vital infrastructure.", ">\n\nThey all are so good. My favorite is May, then September.", ">\n\nOh... good.", ">\n\nThose paragraphs are hilarious.", ">\n\nNow THIS is news!", ">\n\nCatcatae", ">\n\nThey would, if they could.", ">\n\nOmg yes. Need.", ">\n\n\"attacking\" lol", ">\n\nThere’s a great Twitter user called Giant Military Cats or something like that where the user does much the same. \nSeems like a kind, lonely soul who revels in people thanking them. Give it a look", ">\n\nNot oniony, really… just awesome.", ">\n\nThis is what our tax dollars should be used for", ">\n\nThis is why shit takes forever to get built when the government is involved. Now it all make sense...", ">\n\nI love it, but the cats seemed poorly photoshopped in", ">\n\nThey're engineers, not graphic artists.", ">\n\nGotta normalize death and murder in any way possible. Next up, an E-sports tournament hosted by Army Recruiters! Complete with twitch ads and tik tok videos!", ">\n\nThis is the Army Corps of Engineers. They're more Bob the Builder than G.I. Joe.", ">\n\nThey literally hosted a twitch e sports tournament.", ">\n\nWas it City Skylines or Minecraft?", ">\n\nPainfully bad photoshop too…", ">\n\nHow about a calendar of captured MAGA white supremacist assholes who attacked critical infrastructure?", ">\n\nthis is what we get instead of universal healthcare?", ">\n\nSo I reckon the Corps of Engineers is now gonna blame a giant cat for their spectacular failures that led to loss of life during Hurricane Katrina.", ">\n\nWhy is this a thing lol", ">\n\nthey really could have done better, wow 3rd grader stuff here...", ">\n\nI assume they got 3/4 of the way through then ran out of budget, then made the contractor do the rest out of pocket to get paid.", ">\n\nwhen not signing off on pipelines against the desperate wishes of affected citizens they are actually quite charming." ]

[ "Imagine the work order. \nYour boss comes to you and says, \"Hey, you're in charge of the cats calendar.\"\n\"What calendar?\"\n\"The one with cats attacking infrastructure?\"\n\"What?\"", ">\n\nyou miss ONE day...", ">\n\nHail Vectron!", ">\n\nBy Vectron!", ">\n\nFor those yet to experience the holy might of Vectron's kindly claw", ">\n\nThank you. I had no idea.", ">\n\nYou are most welcome by Vectron", ">\n\nFor the love of all that is Vectron, your speech warms my Vectronic heart.", ">\n\nMay Vectron’s beard shed its benevolence upon us. 🙏🏻🙏🏻", ">\n\nAnd may all of his correspondence to us be sent Vectronically. So it is written, so shall it be done.", ">\n\nI live in Oregon and started to recognize a bunch of the dams, so I was like, “huh, that’s kinda cool.” Then I saw the text at the bottom of the first page. Portland District. Now a cat calendar makes perfect sense.", ">\n\nSame thing happened to me. I think I'm going to head to kinko's and have them print it out for me.", ">\n\nTell them you need to print some important official military documents before you show them what it is", ">\n\nDon’t forget to tell them you need it right meow!", ">\n\nWho will protect our infrastructure from this menace?", ">\n\nAn array of laser pointers.", ">\n\ncut to giant laser pointer satellite", ">\n\nomigod the jewish space lasers were real", ">\n\n*meowish space lasers", ">\n\nHey that's racist", ">\n\nI think it would be cheaper to buy a calendar than use the ink/toner required to print it.", ">\n\nThat's why you print it at work.", ">\n\nhaha true, oh wait I work from home...", ">\n\nIf you print from home for work you can write printer supplies off on your taxes :)", ">\n\nUh yes boss I needed a calendar, so… oh what? Use the company one? Ummm but the US army has a really nice one and I thought I’d be patriotic - what? Oh, yeah I know we’re in Canada, I just…", ">\n\nPortland is pretty much wannabe Vancouver, BC. I say it goes!", ">\n\nExactly what a Canadian would say...", ">\n\nGoodies, goodie goodie, yum yum.", ">\n\nI just scrolled until I found The Goodies reference but was wondering if I was going to find one at all.", ">\n\nIt's way down the list, isn't it? \n/knees hurt.", ">\n\nOw, my back! Get off my lawn!", ">\n\nOne engineer did it in his free time, and released it for use through the corps. \nThis was NOT government funded.", ">\n\nEven if it was government funded, I support this.", ">\n\nEven if it was government funded it would've been like maybe one day of pay at most? Not a ton for the amount of publicity they'll get that might make them even more money.", ">\n\nAssuming they already have the infrastructure pictures I would be surprised if it took more than 4 work hours. Also for chronically underfunded agencies that kind of PR is exactly how you get voters to convince the politicians to increase funds. I look forward to NASA figuring out how to photoshop giant cats playing with the planets like balls of yarn for their calendar", ">\n\n\nI look forward to NASA figuring out how to photoshop giant cats playing with the planets like balls of yarn for their calendar \n\nWell let me introduce you to the most bizarre social media messaging from an official U.S. government agency: The U.S. Consumer Product Safety Commission's Instagram feed. \nAnd before I catch any \"there's no way this is real\" replies, here's the Washington Post covering it: \n\nHow a federal bureaucrat uses astronaut babies and dogs riding pigeons to try to save your life", ">\n\nThis is rad!", ">\n\nCISA losing their shit rn", ">\n\nI would like one.", ">\n\nIt's a free PDF.", ">\n\nNo he would like one of the cats", ">\n\nyOu wOuLdN'T DoWnloAd a cAT", ">\n\nI can’t believe they included Sherlock getting knocked off a cliff. At least he didn’t jump this time.", ">\n\nI'm shocked that you're the only person I've seen comment on this so far! it's hilarious", ">\n\n\"Every year, dozens of cats attack important infrastructure for our country causing dozens of dollars of damage. Won't you help?\"", ">\n\nI heard this with Sarah McLoughlin's voice", ">\n\nArmy Cats", ">\n\nNow do it with pictures of our crumbling infrastructure.", ">\n\nThis seems like one of those things that is somehow going to age poorly given our Universe's current sense of irony. I don't know how exactly, but there's going to be some mass tragedy involving cats and a suspension bridge or something this year.", ">\n\nThe first image kind of reads like \"this infrastructure is super important so don't damage it\". The calendar almost seems like a shopping list for domestic terrorists or something lol.", ">\n\nI mean, pretty obvious that dams, substations, bridges and the like are good targets for chaos. Google maps gives you all this plus Police stations and everything, with photos and the address. Useless to worry about it", ">\n\nSeriously, anyone who unironicly think terrorists were waiting for a cat calendar to list a bunch of locations to bomb is paranoid about the wrong things.", ">\n\nCats would hunt and eat us if they were bigger than us", ">\n\nThey already do, they are called Tigers.", ">\n\nIf there were smaller tigers, we would keep them as pets, but they'd break all our stuff to prove they're still in charge.", ">\n\nThey already do, they are called Cats.", ">\n\nOH MY GOD!", ">\n\nMy tabby is a cute little tiger", ">\n\nI knew we had infrastructure challenges, but I didn't realize we were facing an infrastructure cat-astrophe!", ">\n\nTake my r/angryupvote", ">\n\nI love how shitty the photoshop is. Really ties it all together", ">\n\nYeah I like the idea--but the pictures chosen and color grading are all off. I'd like this idea better executed more professionally.", ">\n\nOh no I'm serious. The unprofessionalism is the best part. I would absolutely pay money for this", ">\n\nOnly only thing weirder is gonna be their crazy ass plan to save the infrastructure.", ">\n\nIt's the engineer Corp, they can build giant cat carriers.", ">\n\nI guess anything beats the 40 million they spend on viagra to keep the soldiers saluting.", ">\n\nThis is delightful", ">\n\ni was imagining mountain lions breaking in to dumpsters or something, not giant house cats gnawing on substations, not disappointed.", ">\n\nI don’t need a calendar now that our pocket rectangles handle all of that for us, but I really want this calendar.", ">\n\nIt is really convenient to just walk by my schedule versus having to pull it up, scroll, click and expand. I tend to forget about things if I don’t see it in front of me, but that’s just how my brain works. Plus if you’re on the phone trying to schedule something it’s nice to write it out too.", ">\n\nI'm sorry, we're already booked for giant spiders.", ">\n\nI personally kinda love this.", ">\n\nBest use of a miniscule amount of our tax dollars in the entire US $1.7T budget. US Army Corp wins the internet today!", ">\n\nHonestly, the entire army corps of engineers may be one of highest rates of return on public good vs funding", ">\n\nSeriously. They do a shit ton of quality and important public work on a relatively shoe-string budget for engineering. I have a lot of respect for the people that work at the USACOE.", ">\n\nSeptember, now that one is art", ">\n\nHaters will say it's Photoshop.", ">\n\nThey’ve never seen Catzilla.", ">\n\nHero of the Week! Hail yourself!", ">\n\nThere it is!", ">\n\n\nThe Army Corps Of Engineers Has Released a 2023 Calendar Of Giant Cats Attacking <\n\nr/brand new sentence \nAlso, giant cats attacking infrastructure is so 2020. In 2023 it just sounds silly.", ">\n\nSeptember ❤️", ">\n\nOmg. I love this. Especially the text blurbs on the pictures. Very funny and adorable!", ">\n\nSounds like they understand cats are required if you want social media traction", ">\n\nI have never wanted to buy a calendar more than I do now!", ">\n\nOn the one hand, I applaud the idea.\nOn the other hand, the photoshop skills look like they came from the army corps of engineers.", ">\n\nWould you actually want them to look like they were perfectly matched to each environment? I'm pretty sure the comedic effect is all that matters here.\nAnd besides, it was just one engineer that created this on their spare time, rather than an official ACE production.", ">\n\nI was mainly being a bit snarky because the internet. That, and what I said was objectively true.", ">\n\nCan confirm, the Corps of Engineers fuckkkkks", ">\n\nGoddammit I just bought my 2023 calendar too lol", ">\n\nThat’s cute though, not worrisome like a lot of other r/nottheonion posts.", ">\n\nAs ever, the Army Corps of Engineers are the one branch of the US state that can get the important shit done", ">\n\nFrom the comments ITT it's evident that most people are unaware of how important they are to the lives of the majority of productive people in this country (people who live near a coastline or a major body of water). It's not just dams and rivers, it's the actual physical coastline of america that they look after.", ">\n\nYup, it seems double edged- people think oh, they're the army corps and assumes they must be doing only military stuff. But equally if it was civilianised no doubt it'd be a target for cuts. An incredible org, regardless. And whether it's cats or weather or warming or the collapse of neglected infrastructure they're going to get more and more important so it's a damn good thing they exist because in 2023, nobody would invent them...", ">\n\nUSACE is an agency that is funded by the DOD but is vastly ran by civilians. There are very few enlisted or commissioned people in the army corps.", ">\n\nOK this is a thing and this is awesome", ">\n\nOops, I had \"Zombie Redneck Torture Family\" in the betting pool.", ">\n\nGrumble. Never gonna see a merman...", ">\n\nUSACE Portland District is one of the absolute best public sector social media presences out there. Seriously. Check it out.", ">\n\nCats in military pictures is an entire IG channel", ">\n\nGood boot", ">\n\nCommand team must be TDY", ">\n\nThat was even better than the title made me think it would be.", ">\n\nI support my tax dollars going to causes such as this.", ">\n\nFinally tax dollars doing something good", ">\n\nI’m kind of disappointed. From the title, I thought there would be photos of actual big cats attacking infrastructure, not photoshopped domestic cats. Anyone have a photo of a puma going after an electrical substation? Or a tiger gnawing on a water line?", ">\n\nNo. No one has that. Would be very interesting though to compile a calendar like that. Peace brother.", ">\n\nGreat, now I need a color printer.\nSeriously, thank you u/radioman8414!", ">\n\nThis is how I want my tax money spent. Downloaded and put up in my office!", ">\n\nThe regional social media guy who put this together is constantly hilarious", ">\n\nGreatest calendar of 2023.", ">\n\nI need one of these for my office! I've worked on some of these dams!", ">\n\nCan I ask you some dam questions?? I’m sure you know a lot of dam information. I’m sure all of us would love some dam stories. Thank you.", ">\n\nSure way to have a more interesting calendar than just infrastructure.", ">\n\nI would so adopt one if they existed.", ">\n\nI've heard army corps of engineers are very difficult to house train. May want to consider before adopting one.", ">\n\nTouché.", ">\n\nThat's amazing, thank you for posting it!", ">\n\nIs there anywhere to buy a nice physical copy of the calendar?", ">\n\nThose cats are mind-controlled by taxoplasmosis alien ameobas!", ">\n\nI was thinking this was gonna be mountain lions taking out maintenance huts or something like that. This is so much better", ">\n\nI’m the daughter of a former Portland, Oregon, US Army Corps Engineer, and I can confirm they are a strange crew. It makes me view the dams on the Columbia River fondly?", ">\n\nI love this so much.", ">\n\nDude. Awesome.", ">\n\nI love this! My astronomy teacher once did a talk on space cats. It was hysterical. Out of the blue he showed us pictures of space with cats added in. He felt we needed a fun class for laughs. I want this calendar.", ">\n\nThis would be really cool if they got a decent digital artist. But they didn't, they used photoshop about as well as I can.", ">\n\nI think that adds to the charm", ">\n\nDon't even need to see it, where can I buy it", ">\n\nFrom the link - \"Because the Army Corps is a Government Agency, the calendar is in public domain and totally free to download and print\"", ">\n\nThis is so funny, because it’s my Dad’s old workplace (from 1971 until he retired). My father, however, has zero sense of humor so he’d never work on something like this.", ">\n\nI met a guy from the Army Corps of Engineers when I worked for the EPA. Smartest guy I've ever met and the 2nd most hippe like person I've ever met. I'd like to think he had something to do with this idea.", ">\n\nFinally the massive military budget of the US is put to good use.", ">\n\nThis is awesome. I might have to buy one.", ">\n\nNo need. It's free, though you have to print it yourself if you want a physical copy", ">\n\nThis is so adorable! I approve wholeheartedly.", ">\n\nIt's about time.", ">\n\nSappers lead the way", ">\n\nI have so much love for this.", ">\n\nEhisssayons.", ">\n\nLove it.", ">\n\nUnintended benefits of relaxed Marijuana policies :)", ">\n\nUsace has not relaxed cannabis policies. No federal agency has", ">\n\nThey certainly have relaxed policy, even though federal law hasn't changed. It's legal in my state and the current administration has announced they won't be pursuing user level Marijuana charges at the federal level.\nWake up.", ">\n\nUSACE still falls under the same policies as the rest of the army. They're treated as DA civilians, and subject to periodic biochemical testing and the resultant consequences if they pee hot. The army has, and will not in the foreseeable future, relax any policy regarding marijuana.", ">\n\nAdorable idea; wish they had hired someone better at photoshop", ">\n\nIts a free gag calendar that was probably just put together by someone for fun in their spare time. Considering the state of infrastructure in the US I don't imagine the Corps of Engineers has a lot of extra spending money to throw around", ">\n\nIf they were smart, they would print it for us and sell it. I don't want a crappy calender that I printed on regular paper, I want the real thing and I would be glad to pay for it.", ">\n\nGenius!! This needs to be a trend. Reddit, make it so...", ">\n\nfuck yeah we finally gonna balance the budget", ">\n\nDecember's hilarious. I want this calender.", ">\n\nYou can totally tell that this is not real. The lighting on the cats is so obviously different than the environmental mistake. Pathetic effort infrastructure geeks.", ">\n\nSo they can blame cats for shoddy workmanship and lax maintenance.", ">\n\nDon't capitalize \"Of\" in titles", ">\n\nWish they'd focus on not taking eight years to permit a fucking project, those lazy excuses for engineers.", ">\n\nYou’re crazy dude. These peeps have built some amazing things. Extremely impressive.", ">\n\nThey used to.", ">\n\n😂", ">\n\nThis whole absurd thing is exactly my sense of humour. LOVE it.", ">\n\nOregon! I've seen the one at Detroit Dam. Sneaky bugger. Hangs out with Bigfoot.", ">\n\nI need this", ">\n\nThat's some adorable terrorism right there.", ">\n\nI remember seeing them, on quad bikes, with a lot of equipment, on Myrtle Beach beaches, I always wondered what they were doing...", ">\n\nI love this sequel to Beginning of the End!", ">\n\nIs there a way I can buy a physical version?", ">\n\nThey're Demo-cats!", ">\n\nAny recommendations of the best way to get this printed semi-professionally? I tried checking Costco photo centre but they make you use a template.", ">\n\nOf course it’s Portland.", ">\n\nKind of disappointing I can't actually buy a printed one. My daughter would love this.", ">\n\nA pretty good idea for a poster. Who doesn't like cats being cats?", ">\n\nI really wish I had become a part of the ACOE but my mother didn't want her only son in the military.", ">\n\nUsace has civilian positions you're employed by the army, but you don't go through basic", ">\n\nI hope they pay more than Nidec.", ">\n\nThanks for sharing! Downloaded and got my new Lock Screen wallpaper.", ">\n\nDecember is 🔥", ">\n\nObligatory Cat Dynamics", ">\n\nPoliticians will say this is the proof of the REAL reason of why our infrastructure is deteriorating, then vote in a measure to hire their friends and family to counter this threat.", ">\n\nI didnt know cats were domestic terrorists like Republicans. lol", ">\n\nThis is the only kind of apocalypse I could see myself getting excited about.", ">\n\nAugust a missed opportunity to have CAT Excavators.", ">\n\nYou have my attention.", ">\n\nSmart move", ">\n\nGod help us.", ">\n\nBest thing to come out of the Army post WWII.", ">\n\n🤔", ">\n\n\"Let's write a two paragraph article about something freely available on the internet and make absolutely no attempt to actually tell you where to find it\".", ">\n\nCatjira!", ">\n\nhilarious!", ">\n\nFinally", ">\n\nThis is the oniony-est story I’ve seen on here in a while", ">\n\nCant wait for the next spending bill to include cat proofing our infrastructure", ">\n\nHonestly… I’d buy it.", ">\n\nWish I would have heard of that in November or so. This seems unique, fun and a great idea for a calendar.", ">\n\nI heard about this from Last Podcast on the Left, glad to see it pop up on my feed with pictures!", ">\n\nI'm gonna need an NSN For that...", ">\n\nOf course it’s the Portland District", ">\n\nHonestly this is worth buying", ">\n\nIm not a cat person, but I would buy the calendar.", ">\n\nAny way to view the album without losing my mind on that website? God it's shit on mobile.", ">\n\nI especially love how June just looks like a well framed optical illusion photo.", ">\n\nThis is cute and all, but man, it seems a little poor in taste that August is a kitty-shaped military drone blowing up an Iraqi preschool", ">\n\nWhat did Oregon do to deserve this", ">\n\nGee I read that and instantly I thought they had done a study and released an estimated calendar of when an where giant cats would attack infrastructure in 2023. Phew.", ">\n\nOn that day, humanity received a grim reminder…", ">\n\nah yes\nPortland keeping it weird again", ">\n\nit’s cute, but who wrote the copy?", ">\n\nAmazing", ">\n\neverything changed when the cat nation attacked", ">\n\nI'm into it", ">\n\nnow this is what I want my tax dollars going towards", ">\n\nI'd love to believe that there was some huge misunderstanding and somewhere someone had actually meant CATs like the company with the big heavy machinery", ">\n\nThe word \"attacking\" is doing a lot of work here", ">\n\nW", ">\n\nLook, I’m pretty anti-government, but this I can get behind", ">\n\nCattack on titan", ">\n\nI'm a civil engineer.\nI would fucking LOVE this.\nThis'll go good in my office next to my other engineering / math punny comics.\nLike this one.\nOr this one.\nOr, maybe this one.", ">\n\nThe Only well spent part of the military budget", ">\n\nI might buy it", ">\n\nWhat the fuck is that website", ">\n\nThis is great!", ">\n\nAugust is great.", ">\n\nNow the real MVP will tell us how to print this like an actual calendar.", ">\n\nThe only thing worthy of my tax dollars that the military has done this year.", ">\n\nOk, now we need a class II space laser pointer to distract the giant cats away from vital infrastructure.", ">\n\nThey all are so good. My favorite is May, then September.", ">\n\nOh... good.", ">\n\nThose paragraphs are hilarious.", ">\n\nNow THIS is news!", ">\n\nCatcatae", ">\n\nThey would, if they could.", ">\n\nOmg yes. Need.", ">\n\n\"attacking\" lol", ">\n\nThere’s a great Twitter user called Giant Military Cats or something like that where the user does much the same. \nSeems like a kind, lonely soul who revels in people thanking them. Give it a look", ">\n\nNot oniony, really… just awesome.", ">\n\nThis is what our tax dollars should be used for", ">\n\nThis is why shit takes forever to get built when the government is involved. Now it all make sense...", ">\n\nI love it, but the cats seemed poorly photoshopped in", ">\n\nThey're engineers, not graphic artists.", ">\n\nGotta normalize death and murder in any way possible. Next up, an E-sports tournament hosted by Army Recruiters! Complete with twitch ads and tik tok videos!", ">\n\nThis is the Army Corps of Engineers. They're more Bob the Builder than G.I. Joe.", ">\n\nThey literally hosted a twitch e sports tournament.", ">\n\nWas it City Skylines or Minecraft?", ">\n\nPainfully bad photoshop too…", ">\n\nHow about a calendar of captured MAGA white supremacist assholes who attacked critical infrastructure?", ">\n\nthis is what we get instead of universal healthcare?", ">\n\nSo I reckon the Corps of Engineers is now gonna blame a giant cat for their spectacular failures that led to loss of life during Hurricane Katrina.", ">\n\nWhy is this a thing lol", ">\n\nthey really could have done better, wow 3rd grader stuff here...", ">\n\nI assume they got 3/4 of the way through then ran out of budget, then made the contractor do the rest out of pocket to get paid.", ">\n\nwhen not signing off on pipelines against the desperate wishes of affected citizens they are actually quite charming.", ">\n\nThey would. Stupid usace are so full of themselves. Ooooh you're a scientist? I literally don't care. Go hand out fliers." ]

[ "Imagine the work order. \nYour boss comes to you and says, \"Hey, you're in charge of the cats calendar.\"\n\"What calendar?\"\n\"The one with cats attacking infrastructure?\"\n\"What?\"", ">\n\nyou miss ONE day...", ">\n\nHail Vectron!", ">\n\nBy Vectron!", ">\n\nFor those yet to experience the holy might of Vectron's kindly claw", ">\n\nThank you. I had no idea.", ">\n\nYou are most welcome by Vectron", ">\n\nFor the love of all that is Vectron, your speech warms my Vectronic heart.", ">\n\nMay Vectron’s beard shed its benevolence upon us. 🙏🏻🙏🏻", ">\n\nAnd may all of his correspondence to us be sent Vectronically. So it is written, so shall it be done.", ">\n\nI live in Oregon and started to recognize a bunch of the dams, so I was like, “huh, that’s kinda cool.” Then I saw the text at the bottom of the first page. Portland District. Now a cat calendar makes perfect sense.", ">\n\nSame thing happened to me. I think I'm going to head to kinko's and have them print it out for me.", ">\n\nTell them you need to print some important official military documents before you show them what it is", ">\n\nDon’t forget to tell them you need it right meow!", ">\n\nWho will protect our infrastructure from this menace?", ">\n\nAn array of laser pointers.", ">\n\ncut to giant laser pointer satellite", ">\n\nomigod the jewish space lasers were real", ">\n\n*meowish space lasers", ">\n\nHey that's racist", ">\n\nI think it would be cheaper to buy a calendar than use the ink/toner required to print it.", ">\n\nThat's why you print it at work.", ">\n\nhaha true, oh wait I work from home...", ">\n\nIf you print from home for work you can write printer supplies off on your taxes :)", ">\n\nUh yes boss I needed a calendar, so… oh what? Use the company one? Ummm but the US army has a really nice one and I thought I’d be patriotic - what? Oh, yeah I know we’re in Canada, I just…", ">\n\nPortland is pretty much wannabe Vancouver, BC. I say it goes!", ">\n\nExactly what a Canadian would say...", ">\n\nGoodies, goodie goodie, yum yum.", ">\n\nI just scrolled until I found The Goodies reference but was wondering if I was going to find one at all.", ">\n\nIt's way down the list, isn't it? \n/knees hurt.", ">\n\nOw, my back! Get off my lawn!", ">\n\nOne engineer did it in his free time, and released it for use through the corps. \nThis was NOT government funded.", ">\n\nEven if it was government funded, I support this.", ">\n\nEven if it was government funded it would've been like maybe one day of pay at most? Not a ton for the amount of publicity they'll get that might make them even more money.", ">\n\nAssuming they already have the infrastructure pictures I would be surprised if it took more than 4 work hours. Also for chronically underfunded agencies that kind of PR is exactly how you get voters to convince the politicians to increase funds. I look forward to NASA figuring out how to photoshop giant cats playing with the planets like balls of yarn for their calendar", ">\n\n\nI look forward to NASA figuring out how to photoshop giant cats playing with the planets like balls of yarn for their calendar \n\nWell let me introduce you to the most bizarre social media messaging from an official U.S. government agency: The U.S. Consumer Product Safety Commission's Instagram feed. \nAnd before I catch any \"there's no way this is real\" replies, here's the Washington Post covering it: \n\nHow a federal bureaucrat uses astronaut babies and dogs riding pigeons to try to save your life", ">\n\nThis is rad!", ">\n\nCISA losing their shit rn", ">\n\nI would like one.", ">\n\nIt's a free PDF.", ">\n\nNo he would like one of the cats", ">\n\nyOu wOuLdN'T DoWnloAd a cAT", ">\n\nI can’t believe they included Sherlock getting knocked off a cliff. At least he didn’t jump this time.", ">\n\nI'm shocked that you're the only person I've seen comment on this so far! it's hilarious", ">\n\n\"Every year, dozens of cats attack important infrastructure for our country causing dozens of dollars of damage. Won't you help?\"", ">\n\nI heard this with Sarah McLoughlin's voice", ">\n\nArmy Cats", ">\n\nNow do it with pictures of our crumbling infrastructure.", ">\n\nThis seems like one of those things that is somehow going to age poorly given our Universe's current sense of irony. I don't know how exactly, but there's going to be some mass tragedy involving cats and a suspension bridge or something this year.", ">\n\nThe first image kind of reads like \"this infrastructure is super important so don't damage it\". The calendar almost seems like a shopping list for domestic terrorists or something lol.", ">\n\nI mean, pretty obvious that dams, substations, bridges and the like are good targets for chaos. Google maps gives you all this plus Police stations and everything, with photos and the address. Useless to worry about it", ">\n\nSeriously, anyone who unironicly think terrorists were waiting for a cat calendar to list a bunch of locations to bomb is paranoid about the wrong things.", ">\n\nCats would hunt and eat us if they were bigger than us", ">\n\nThey already do, they are called Tigers.", ">\n\nIf there were smaller tigers, we would keep them as pets, but they'd break all our stuff to prove they're still in charge.", ">\n\nThey already do, they are called Cats.", ">\n\nOH MY GOD!", ">\n\nMy tabby is a cute little tiger", ">\n\nI knew we had infrastructure challenges, but I didn't realize we were facing an infrastructure cat-astrophe!", ">\n\nTake my r/angryupvote", ">\n\nI love how shitty the photoshop is. Really ties it all together", ">\n\nYeah I like the idea--but the pictures chosen and color grading are all off. I'd like this idea better executed more professionally.", ">\n\nOh no I'm serious. The unprofessionalism is the best part. I would absolutely pay money for this", ">\n\nOnly only thing weirder is gonna be their crazy ass plan to save the infrastructure.", ">\n\nIt's the engineer Corp, they can build giant cat carriers.", ">\n\nI guess anything beats the 40 million they spend on viagra to keep the soldiers saluting.", ">\n\nThis is delightful", ">\n\ni was imagining mountain lions breaking in to dumpsters or something, not giant house cats gnawing on substations, not disappointed.", ">\n\nI don’t need a calendar now that our pocket rectangles handle all of that for us, but I really want this calendar.", ">\n\nIt is really convenient to just walk by my schedule versus having to pull it up, scroll, click and expand. I tend to forget about things if I don’t see it in front of me, but that’s just how my brain works. Plus if you’re on the phone trying to schedule something it’s nice to write it out too.", ">\n\nI'm sorry, we're already booked for giant spiders.", ">\n\nI personally kinda love this.", ">\n\nBest use of a miniscule amount of our tax dollars in the entire US $1.7T budget. US Army Corp wins the internet today!", ">\n\nHonestly, the entire army corps of engineers may be one of highest rates of return on public good vs funding", ">\n\nSeriously. They do a shit ton of quality and important public work on a relatively shoe-string budget for engineering. I have a lot of respect for the people that work at the USACOE.", ">\n\nSeptember, now that one is art", ">\n\nHaters will say it's Photoshop.", ">\n\nThey’ve never seen Catzilla.", ">\n\nHero of the Week! Hail yourself!", ">\n\nThere it is!", ">\n\n\nThe Army Corps Of Engineers Has Released a 2023 Calendar Of Giant Cats Attacking <\n\nr/brand new sentence \nAlso, giant cats attacking infrastructure is so 2020. In 2023 it just sounds silly.", ">\n\nSeptember ❤️", ">\n\nOmg. I love this. Especially the text blurbs on the pictures. Very funny and adorable!", ">\n\nSounds like they understand cats are required if you want social media traction", ">\n\nI have never wanted to buy a calendar more than I do now!", ">\n\nOn the one hand, I applaud the idea.\nOn the other hand, the photoshop skills look like they came from the army corps of engineers.", ">\n\nWould you actually want them to look like they were perfectly matched to each environment? I'm pretty sure the comedic effect is all that matters here.\nAnd besides, it was just one engineer that created this on their spare time, rather than an official ACE production.", ">\n\nI was mainly being a bit snarky because the internet. That, and what I said was objectively true.", ">\n\nCan confirm, the Corps of Engineers fuckkkkks", ">\n\nGoddammit I just bought my 2023 calendar too lol", ">\n\nThat’s cute though, not worrisome like a lot of other r/nottheonion posts.", ">\n\nAs ever, the Army Corps of Engineers are the one branch of the US state that can get the important shit done", ">\n\nFrom the comments ITT it's evident that most people are unaware of how important they are to the lives of the majority of productive people in this country (people who live near a coastline or a major body of water). It's not just dams and rivers, it's the actual physical coastline of america that they look after.", ">\n\nYup, it seems double edged- people think oh, they're the army corps and assumes they must be doing only military stuff. But equally if it was civilianised no doubt it'd be a target for cuts. An incredible org, regardless. And whether it's cats or weather or warming or the collapse of neglected infrastructure they're going to get more and more important so it's a damn good thing they exist because in 2023, nobody would invent them...", ">\n\nUSACE is an agency that is funded by the DOD but is vastly ran by civilians. There are very few enlisted or commissioned people in the army corps.", ">\n\nOK this is a thing and this is awesome", ">\n\nOops, I had \"Zombie Redneck Torture Family\" in the betting pool.", ">\n\nGrumble. Never gonna see a merman...", ">\n\nUSACE Portland District is one of the absolute best public sector social media presences out there. Seriously. Check it out.", ">\n\nCats in military pictures is an entire IG channel", ">\n\nGood boot", ">\n\nCommand team must be TDY", ">\n\nThat was even better than the title made me think it would be.", ">\n\nI support my tax dollars going to causes such as this.", ">\n\nFinally tax dollars doing something good", ">\n\nI’m kind of disappointed. From the title, I thought there would be photos of actual big cats attacking infrastructure, not photoshopped domestic cats. Anyone have a photo of a puma going after an electrical substation? Or a tiger gnawing on a water line?", ">\n\nNo. No one has that. Would be very interesting though to compile a calendar like that. Peace brother.", ">\n\nGreat, now I need a color printer.\nSeriously, thank you u/radioman8414!", ">\n\nThis is how I want my tax money spent. Downloaded and put up in my office!", ">\n\nThe regional social media guy who put this together is constantly hilarious", ">\n\nGreatest calendar of 2023.", ">\n\nI need one of these for my office! I've worked on some of these dams!", ">\n\nCan I ask you some dam questions?? I’m sure you know a lot of dam information. I’m sure all of us would love some dam stories. Thank you.", ">\n\nSure way to have a more interesting calendar than just infrastructure.", ">\n\nI would so adopt one if they existed.", ">\n\nI've heard army corps of engineers are very difficult to house train. May want to consider before adopting one.", ">\n\nTouché.", ">\n\nThat's amazing, thank you for posting it!", ">\n\nIs there anywhere to buy a nice physical copy of the calendar?", ">\n\nThose cats are mind-controlled by taxoplasmosis alien ameobas!", ">\n\nI was thinking this was gonna be mountain lions taking out maintenance huts or something like that. This is so much better", ">\n\nI’m the daughter of a former Portland, Oregon, US Army Corps Engineer, and I can confirm they are a strange crew. It makes me view the dams on the Columbia River fondly?", ">\n\nI love this so much.", ">\n\nDude. Awesome.", ">\n\nI love this! My astronomy teacher once did a talk on space cats. It was hysterical. Out of the blue he showed us pictures of space with cats added in. He felt we needed a fun class for laughs. I want this calendar.", ">\n\nThis would be really cool if they got a decent digital artist. But they didn't, they used photoshop about as well as I can.", ">\n\nI think that adds to the charm", ">\n\nDon't even need to see it, where can I buy it", ">\n\nFrom the link - \"Because the Army Corps is a Government Agency, the calendar is in public domain and totally free to download and print\"", ">\n\nThis is so funny, because it’s my Dad’s old workplace (from 1971 until he retired). My father, however, has zero sense of humor so he’d never work on something like this.", ">\n\nI met a guy from the Army Corps of Engineers when I worked for the EPA. Smartest guy I've ever met and the 2nd most hippe like person I've ever met. I'd like to think he had something to do with this idea.", ">\n\nFinally the massive military budget of the US is put to good use.", ">\n\nThis is awesome. I might have to buy one.", ">\n\nNo need. It's free, though you have to print it yourself if you want a physical copy", ">\n\nThis is so adorable! I approve wholeheartedly.", ">\n\nIt's about time.", ">\n\nSappers lead the way", ">\n\nI have so much love for this.", ">\n\nEhisssayons.", ">\n\nLove it.", ">\n\nUnintended benefits of relaxed Marijuana policies :)", ">\n\nUsace has not relaxed cannabis policies. No federal agency has", ">\n\nThey certainly have relaxed policy, even though federal law hasn't changed. It's legal in my state and the current administration has announced they won't be pursuing user level Marijuana charges at the federal level.\nWake up.", ">\n\nUSACE still falls under the same policies as the rest of the army. They're treated as DA civilians, and subject to periodic biochemical testing and the resultant consequences if they pee hot. The army has, and will not in the foreseeable future, relax any policy regarding marijuana.", ">\n\nAdorable idea; wish they had hired someone better at photoshop", ">\n\nIts a free gag calendar that was probably just put together by someone for fun in their spare time. Considering the state of infrastructure in the US I don't imagine the Corps of Engineers has a lot of extra spending money to throw around", ">\n\nIf they were smart, they would print it for us and sell it. I don't want a crappy calender that I printed on regular paper, I want the real thing and I would be glad to pay for it.", ">\n\nGenius!! This needs to be a trend. Reddit, make it so...", ">\n\nfuck yeah we finally gonna balance the budget", ">\n\nDecember's hilarious. I want this calender.", ">\n\nYou can totally tell that this is not real. The lighting on the cats is so obviously different than the environmental mistake. Pathetic effort infrastructure geeks.", ">\n\nSo they can blame cats for shoddy workmanship and lax maintenance.", ">\n\nDon't capitalize \"Of\" in titles", ">\n\nWish they'd focus on not taking eight years to permit a fucking project, those lazy excuses for engineers.", ">\n\nYou’re crazy dude. These peeps have built some amazing things. Extremely impressive.", ">\n\nThey used to.", ">\n\n😂", ">\n\nThis whole absurd thing is exactly my sense of humour. LOVE it.", ">\n\nOregon! I've seen the one at Detroit Dam. Sneaky bugger. Hangs out with Bigfoot.", ">\n\nI need this", ">\n\nThat's some adorable terrorism right there.", ">\n\nI remember seeing them, on quad bikes, with a lot of equipment, on Myrtle Beach beaches, I always wondered what they were doing...", ">\n\nI love this sequel to Beginning of the End!", ">\n\nIs there a way I can buy a physical version?", ">\n\nThey're Demo-cats!", ">\n\nAny recommendations of the best way to get this printed semi-professionally? I tried checking Costco photo centre but they make you use a template.", ">\n\nOf course it’s Portland.", ">\n\nKind of disappointing I can't actually buy a printed one. My daughter would love this.", ">\n\nA pretty good idea for a poster. Who doesn't like cats being cats?", ">\n\nI really wish I had become a part of the ACOE but my mother didn't want her only son in the military.", ">\n\nUsace has civilian positions you're employed by the army, but you don't go through basic", ">\n\nI hope they pay more than Nidec.", ">\n\nThanks for sharing! Downloaded and got my new Lock Screen wallpaper.", ">\n\nDecember is 🔥", ">\n\nObligatory Cat Dynamics", ">\n\nPoliticians will say this is the proof of the REAL reason of why our infrastructure is deteriorating, then vote in a measure to hire their friends and family to counter this threat.", ">\n\nI didnt know cats were domestic terrorists like Republicans. lol", ">\n\nThis is the only kind of apocalypse I could see myself getting excited about.", ">\n\nAugust a missed opportunity to have CAT Excavators.", ">\n\nYou have my attention.", ">\n\nSmart move", ">\n\nGod help us.", ">\n\nBest thing to come out of the Army post WWII.", ">\n\n🤔", ">\n\n\"Let's write a two paragraph article about something freely available on the internet and make absolutely no attempt to actually tell you where to find it\".", ">\n\nCatjira!", ">\n\nhilarious!", ">\n\nFinally", ">\n\nThis is the oniony-est story I’ve seen on here in a while", ">\n\nCant wait for the next spending bill to include cat proofing our infrastructure", ">\n\nHonestly… I’d buy it.", ">\n\nWish I would have heard of that in November or so. This seems unique, fun and a great idea for a calendar.", ">\n\nI heard about this from Last Podcast on the Left, glad to see it pop up on my feed with pictures!", ">\n\nI'm gonna need an NSN For that...", ">\n\nOf course it’s the Portland District", ">\n\nHonestly this is worth buying", ">\n\nIm not a cat person, but I would buy the calendar.", ">\n\nAny way to view the album without losing my mind on that website? God it's shit on mobile.", ">\n\nI especially love how June just looks like a well framed optical illusion photo.", ">\n\nThis is cute and all, but man, it seems a little poor in taste that August is a kitty-shaped military drone blowing up an Iraqi preschool", ">\n\nWhat did Oregon do to deserve this", ">\n\nGee I read that and instantly I thought they had done a study and released an estimated calendar of when an where giant cats would attack infrastructure in 2023. Phew.", ">\n\nOn that day, humanity received a grim reminder…", ">\n\nah yes\nPortland keeping it weird again", ">\n\nit’s cute, but who wrote the copy?", ">\n\nAmazing", ">\n\neverything changed when the cat nation attacked", ">\n\nI'm into it", ">\n\nnow this is what I want my tax dollars going towards", ">\n\nI'd love to believe that there was some huge misunderstanding and somewhere someone had actually meant CATs like the company with the big heavy machinery", ">\n\nThe word \"attacking\" is doing a lot of work here", ">\n\nW", ">\n\nLook, I’m pretty anti-government, but this I can get behind", ">\n\nCattack on titan", ">\n\nI'm a civil engineer.\nI would fucking LOVE this.\nThis'll go good in my office next to my other engineering / math punny comics.\nLike this one.\nOr this one.\nOr, maybe this one.", ">\n\nThe Only well spent part of the military budget", ">\n\nI might buy it", ">\n\nWhat the fuck is that website", ">\n\nThis is great!", ">\n\nAugust is great.", ">\n\nNow the real MVP will tell us how to print this like an actual calendar.", ">\n\nThe only thing worthy of my tax dollars that the military has done this year.", ">\n\nOk, now we need a class II space laser pointer to distract the giant cats away from vital infrastructure.", ">\n\nThey all are so good. My favorite is May, then September.", ">\n\nOh... good.", ">\n\nThose paragraphs are hilarious.", ">\n\nNow THIS is news!", ">\n\nCatcatae", ">\n\nThey would, if they could.", ">\n\nOmg yes. Need.", ">\n\n\"attacking\" lol", ">\n\nThere’s a great Twitter user called Giant Military Cats or something like that where the user does much the same. \nSeems like a kind, lonely soul who revels in people thanking them. Give it a look", ">\n\nNot oniony, really… just awesome.", ">\n\nThis is what our tax dollars should be used for", ">\n\nThis is why shit takes forever to get built when the government is involved. Now it all make sense...", ">\n\nI love it, but the cats seemed poorly photoshopped in", ">\n\nThey're engineers, not graphic artists.", ">\n\nGotta normalize death and murder in any way possible. Next up, an E-sports tournament hosted by Army Recruiters! Complete with twitch ads and tik tok videos!", ">\n\nThis is the Army Corps of Engineers. They're more Bob the Builder than G.I. Joe.", ">\n\nThey literally hosted a twitch e sports tournament.", ">\n\nWas it City Skylines or Minecraft?", ">\n\nPainfully bad photoshop too…", ">\n\nHow about a calendar of captured MAGA white supremacist assholes who attacked critical infrastructure?", ">\n\nthis is what we get instead of universal healthcare?", ">\n\nSo I reckon the Corps of Engineers is now gonna blame a giant cat for their spectacular failures that led to loss of life during Hurricane Katrina.", ">\n\nWhy is this a thing lol", ">\n\nthey really could have done better, wow 3rd grader stuff here...", ">\n\nI assume they got 3/4 of the way through then ran out of budget, then made the contractor do the rest out of pocket to get paid.", ">\n\nwhen not signing off on pipelines against the desperate wishes of affected citizens they are actually quite charming.", ">\n\nThey would. Stupid usace are so full of themselves. Ooooh you're a scientist? I literally don't care. Go hand out fliers.", ">\n\nCould the armed forces and their adjacent groups stop trying to meme? It doesn't work." ]

[ "Imagine the work order. \nYour boss comes to you and says, \"Hey, you're in charge of the cats calendar.\"\n\"What calendar?\"\n\"The one with cats attacking infrastructure?\"\n\"What?\"", ">\n\nyou miss ONE day...", ">\n\nHail Vectron!", ">\n\nBy Vectron!", ">\n\nFor those yet to experience the holy might of Vectron's kindly claw", ">\n\nThank you. I had no idea.", ">\n\nYou are most welcome by Vectron", ">\n\nFor the love of all that is Vectron, your speech warms my Vectronic heart.", ">\n\nMay Vectron’s beard shed its benevolence upon us. 🙏🏻🙏🏻", ">\n\nAnd may all of his correspondence to us be sent Vectronically. So it is written, so shall it be done.", ">\n\nI live in Oregon and started to recognize a bunch of the dams, so I was like, “huh, that’s kinda cool.” Then I saw the text at the bottom of the first page. Portland District. Now a cat calendar makes perfect sense.", ">\n\nSame thing happened to me. I think I'm going to head to kinko's and have them print it out for me.", ">\n\nTell them you need to print some important official military documents before you show them what it is", ">\n\nDon’t forget to tell them you need it right meow!", ">\n\nWho will protect our infrastructure from this menace?", ">\n\nAn array of laser pointers.", ">\n\ncut to giant laser pointer satellite", ">\n\nomigod the jewish space lasers were real", ">\n\n*meowish space lasers", ">\n\nHey that's racist", ">\n\nI think it would be cheaper to buy a calendar than use the ink/toner required to print it.", ">\n\nThat's why you print it at work.", ">\n\nhaha true, oh wait I work from home...", ">\n\nIf you print from home for work you can write printer supplies off on your taxes :)", ">\n\nUh yes boss I needed a calendar, so… oh what? Use the company one? Ummm but the US army has a really nice one and I thought I’d be patriotic - what? Oh, yeah I know we’re in Canada, I just…", ">\n\nPortland is pretty much wannabe Vancouver, BC. I say it goes!", ">\n\nExactly what a Canadian would say...", ">\n\nGoodies, goodie goodie, yum yum.", ">\n\nI just scrolled until I found The Goodies reference but was wondering if I was going to find one at all.", ">\n\nIt's way down the list, isn't it? \n/knees hurt.", ">\n\nOw, my back! Get off my lawn!", ">\n\nOne engineer did it in his free time, and released it for use through the corps. \nThis was NOT government funded.", ">\n\nEven if it was government funded, I support this.", ">\n\nEven if it was government funded it would've been like maybe one day of pay at most? Not a ton for the amount of publicity they'll get that might make them even more money.", ">\n\nAssuming they already have the infrastructure pictures I would be surprised if it took more than 4 work hours. Also for chronically underfunded agencies that kind of PR is exactly how you get voters to convince the politicians to increase funds. I look forward to NASA figuring out how to photoshop giant cats playing with the planets like balls of yarn for their calendar", ">\n\n\nI look forward to NASA figuring out how to photoshop giant cats playing with the planets like balls of yarn for their calendar \n\nWell let me introduce you to the most bizarre social media messaging from an official U.S. government agency: The U.S. Consumer Product Safety Commission's Instagram feed. \nAnd before I catch any \"there's no way this is real\" replies, here's the Washington Post covering it: \n\nHow a federal bureaucrat uses astronaut babies and dogs riding pigeons to try to save your life", ">\n\nThis is rad!", ">\n\nCISA losing their shit rn", ">\n\nI would like one.", ">\n\nIt's a free PDF.", ">\n\nNo he would like one of the cats", ">\n\nyOu wOuLdN'T DoWnloAd a cAT", ">\n\nI can’t believe they included Sherlock getting knocked off a cliff. At least he didn’t jump this time.", ">\n\nI'm shocked that you're the only person I've seen comment on this so far! it's hilarious", ">\n\n\"Every year, dozens of cats attack important infrastructure for our country causing dozens of dollars of damage. Won't you help?\"", ">\n\nI heard this with Sarah McLoughlin's voice", ">\n\nArmy Cats", ">\n\nNow do it with pictures of our crumbling infrastructure.", ">\n\nThis seems like one of those things that is somehow going to age poorly given our Universe's current sense of irony. I don't know how exactly, but there's going to be some mass tragedy involving cats and a suspension bridge or something this year.", ">\n\nThe first image kind of reads like \"this infrastructure is super important so don't damage it\". The calendar almost seems like a shopping list for domestic terrorists or something lol.", ">\n\nI mean, pretty obvious that dams, substations, bridges and the like are good targets for chaos. Google maps gives you all this plus Police stations and everything, with photos and the address. Useless to worry about it", ">\n\nSeriously, anyone who unironicly think terrorists were waiting for a cat calendar to list a bunch of locations to bomb is paranoid about the wrong things.", ">\n\nCats would hunt and eat us if they were bigger than us", ">\n\nThey already do, they are called Tigers.", ">\n\nIf there were smaller tigers, we would keep them as pets, but they'd break all our stuff to prove they're still in charge.", ">\n\nThey already do, they are called Cats.", ">\n\nOH MY GOD!", ">\n\nMy tabby is a cute little tiger", ">\n\nI knew we had infrastructure challenges, but I didn't realize we were facing an infrastructure cat-astrophe!", ">\n\nTake my r/angryupvote", ">\n\nI love how shitty the photoshop is. Really ties it all together", ">\n\nYeah I like the idea--but the pictures chosen and color grading are all off. I'd like this idea better executed more professionally.", ">\n\nOh no I'm serious. The unprofessionalism is the best part. I would absolutely pay money for this", ">\n\nOnly only thing weirder is gonna be their crazy ass plan to save the infrastructure.", ">\n\nIt's the engineer Corp, they can build giant cat carriers.", ">\n\nI guess anything beats the 40 million they spend on viagra to keep the soldiers saluting.", ">\n\nThis is delightful", ">\n\ni was imagining mountain lions breaking in to dumpsters or something, not giant house cats gnawing on substations, not disappointed.", ">\n\nI don’t need a calendar now that our pocket rectangles handle all of that for us, but I really want this calendar.", ">\n\nIt is really convenient to just walk by my schedule versus having to pull it up, scroll, click and expand. I tend to forget about things if I don’t see it in front of me, but that’s just how my brain works. Plus if you’re on the phone trying to schedule something it’s nice to write it out too.", ">\n\nI'm sorry, we're already booked for giant spiders.", ">\n\nI personally kinda love this.", ">\n\nBest use of a miniscule amount of our tax dollars in the entire US $1.7T budget. US Army Corp wins the internet today!", ">\n\nHonestly, the entire army corps of engineers may be one of highest rates of return on public good vs funding", ">\n\nSeriously. They do a shit ton of quality and important public work on a relatively shoe-string budget for engineering. I have a lot of respect for the people that work at the USACOE.", ">\n\nSeptember, now that one is art", ">\n\nHaters will say it's Photoshop.", ">\n\nThey’ve never seen Catzilla.", ">\n\nHero of the Week! Hail yourself!", ">\n\nThere it is!", ">\n\n\nThe Army Corps Of Engineers Has Released a 2023 Calendar Of Giant Cats Attacking <\n\nr/brand new sentence \nAlso, giant cats attacking infrastructure is so 2020. In 2023 it just sounds silly.", ">\n\nSeptember ❤️", ">\n\nOmg. I love this. Especially the text blurbs on the pictures. Very funny and adorable!", ">\n\nSounds like they understand cats are required if you want social media traction", ">\n\nI have never wanted to buy a calendar more than I do now!", ">\n\nOn the one hand, I applaud the idea.\nOn the other hand, the photoshop skills look like they came from the army corps of engineers.", ">\n\nWould you actually want them to look like they were perfectly matched to each environment? I'm pretty sure the comedic effect is all that matters here.\nAnd besides, it was just one engineer that created this on their spare time, rather than an official ACE production.", ">\n\nI was mainly being a bit snarky because the internet. That, and what I said was objectively true.", ">\n\nCan confirm, the Corps of Engineers fuckkkkks", ">\n\nGoddammit I just bought my 2023 calendar too lol", ">\n\nThat’s cute though, not worrisome like a lot of other r/nottheonion posts.", ">\n\nAs ever, the Army Corps of Engineers are the one branch of the US state that can get the important shit done", ">\n\nFrom the comments ITT it's evident that most people are unaware of how important they are to the lives of the majority of productive people in this country (people who live near a coastline or a major body of water). It's not just dams and rivers, it's the actual physical coastline of america that they look after.", ">\n\nYup, it seems double edged- people think oh, they're the army corps and assumes they must be doing only military stuff. But equally if it was civilianised no doubt it'd be a target for cuts. An incredible org, regardless. And whether it's cats or weather or warming or the collapse of neglected infrastructure they're going to get more and more important so it's a damn good thing they exist because in 2023, nobody would invent them...", ">\n\nUSACE is an agency that is funded by the DOD but is vastly ran by civilians. There are very few enlisted or commissioned people in the army corps.", ">\n\nOK this is a thing and this is awesome", ">\n\nOops, I had \"Zombie Redneck Torture Family\" in the betting pool.", ">\n\nGrumble. Never gonna see a merman...", ">\n\nUSACE Portland District is one of the absolute best public sector social media presences out there. Seriously. Check it out.", ">\n\nCats in military pictures is an entire IG channel", ">\n\nGood boot", ">\n\nCommand team must be TDY", ">\n\nThat was even better than the title made me think it would be.", ">\n\nI support my tax dollars going to causes such as this.", ">\n\nFinally tax dollars doing something good", ">\n\nI’m kind of disappointed. From the title, I thought there would be photos of actual big cats attacking infrastructure, not photoshopped domestic cats. Anyone have a photo of a puma going after an electrical substation? Or a tiger gnawing on a water line?", ">\n\nNo. No one has that. Would be very interesting though to compile a calendar like that. Peace brother.", ">\n\nGreat, now I need a color printer.\nSeriously, thank you u/radioman8414!", ">\n\nThis is how I want my tax money spent. Downloaded and put up in my office!", ">\n\nThe regional social media guy who put this together is constantly hilarious", ">\n\nGreatest calendar of 2023.", ">\n\nI need one of these for my office! I've worked on some of these dams!", ">\n\nCan I ask you some dam questions?? I’m sure you know a lot of dam information. I’m sure all of us would love some dam stories. Thank you.", ">\n\nSure way to have a more interesting calendar than just infrastructure.", ">\n\nI would so adopt one if they existed.", ">\n\nI've heard army corps of engineers are very difficult to house train. May want to consider before adopting one.", ">\n\nTouché.", ">\n\nThat's amazing, thank you for posting it!", ">\n\nIs there anywhere to buy a nice physical copy of the calendar?", ">\n\nThose cats are mind-controlled by taxoplasmosis alien ameobas!", ">\n\nI was thinking this was gonna be mountain lions taking out maintenance huts or something like that. This is so much better", ">\n\nI’m the daughter of a former Portland, Oregon, US Army Corps Engineer, and I can confirm they are a strange crew. It makes me view the dams on the Columbia River fondly?", ">\n\nI love this so much.", ">\n\nDude. Awesome.", ">\n\nI love this! My astronomy teacher once did a talk on space cats. It was hysterical. Out of the blue he showed us pictures of space with cats added in. He felt we needed a fun class for laughs. I want this calendar.", ">\n\nThis would be really cool if they got a decent digital artist. But they didn't, they used photoshop about as well as I can.", ">\n\nI think that adds to the charm", ">\n\nDon't even need to see it, where can I buy it", ">\n\nFrom the link - \"Because the Army Corps is a Government Agency, the calendar is in public domain and totally free to download and print\"", ">\n\nThis is so funny, because it’s my Dad’s old workplace (from 1971 until he retired). My father, however, has zero sense of humor so he’d never work on something like this.", ">\n\nI met a guy from the Army Corps of Engineers when I worked for the EPA. Smartest guy I've ever met and the 2nd most hippe like person I've ever met. I'd like to think he had something to do with this idea.", ">\n\nFinally the massive military budget of the US is put to good use.", ">\n\nThis is awesome. I might have to buy one.", ">\n\nNo need. It's free, though you have to print it yourself if you want a physical copy", ">\n\nThis is so adorable! I approve wholeheartedly.", ">\n\nIt's about time.", ">\n\nSappers lead the way", ">\n\nI have so much love for this.", ">\n\nEhisssayons.", ">\n\nLove it.", ">\n\nUnintended benefits of relaxed Marijuana policies :)", ">\n\nUsace has not relaxed cannabis policies. No federal agency has", ">\n\nThey certainly have relaxed policy, even though federal law hasn't changed. It's legal in my state and the current administration has announced they won't be pursuing user level Marijuana charges at the federal level.\nWake up.", ">\n\nUSACE still falls under the same policies as the rest of the army. They're treated as DA civilians, and subject to periodic biochemical testing and the resultant consequences if they pee hot. The army has, and will not in the foreseeable future, relax any policy regarding marijuana.", ">\n\nAdorable idea; wish they had hired someone better at photoshop", ">\n\nIts a free gag calendar that was probably just put together by someone for fun in their spare time. Considering the state of infrastructure in the US I don't imagine the Corps of Engineers has a lot of extra spending money to throw around", ">\n\nIf they were smart, they would print it for us and sell it. I don't want a crappy calender that I printed on regular paper, I want the real thing and I would be glad to pay for it.", ">\n\nGenius!! This needs to be a trend. Reddit, make it so...", ">\n\nfuck yeah we finally gonna balance the budget", ">\n\nDecember's hilarious. I want this calender.", ">\n\nYou can totally tell that this is not real. The lighting on the cats is so obviously different than the environmental mistake. Pathetic effort infrastructure geeks.", ">\n\nSo they can blame cats for shoddy workmanship and lax maintenance.", ">\n\nDon't capitalize \"Of\" in titles", ">\n\nWish they'd focus on not taking eight years to permit a fucking project, those lazy excuses for engineers.", ">\n\nYou’re crazy dude. These peeps have built some amazing things. Extremely impressive.", ">\n\nThey used to.", ">\n\n😂", ">\n\nThis whole absurd thing is exactly my sense of humour. LOVE it.", ">\n\nOregon! I've seen the one at Detroit Dam. Sneaky bugger. Hangs out with Bigfoot.", ">\n\nI need this", ">\n\nThat's some adorable terrorism right there.", ">\n\nI remember seeing them, on quad bikes, with a lot of equipment, on Myrtle Beach beaches, I always wondered what they were doing...", ">\n\nI love this sequel to Beginning of the End!", ">\n\nIs there a way I can buy a physical version?", ">\n\nThey're Demo-cats!", ">\n\nAny recommendations of the best way to get this printed semi-professionally? I tried checking Costco photo centre but they make you use a template.", ">\n\nOf course it’s Portland.", ">\n\nKind of disappointing I can't actually buy a printed one. My daughter would love this.", ">\n\nA pretty good idea for a poster. Who doesn't like cats being cats?", ">\n\nI really wish I had become a part of the ACOE but my mother didn't want her only son in the military.", ">\n\nUsace has civilian positions you're employed by the army, but you don't go through basic", ">\n\nI hope they pay more than Nidec.", ">\n\nThanks for sharing! Downloaded and got my new Lock Screen wallpaper.", ">\n\nDecember is 🔥", ">\n\nObligatory Cat Dynamics", ">\n\nPoliticians will say this is the proof of the REAL reason of why our infrastructure is deteriorating, then vote in a measure to hire their friends and family to counter this threat.", ">\n\nI didnt know cats were domestic terrorists like Republicans. lol", ">\n\nThis is the only kind of apocalypse I could see myself getting excited about.", ">\n\nAugust a missed opportunity to have CAT Excavators.", ">\n\nYou have my attention.", ">\n\nSmart move", ">\n\nGod help us.", ">\n\nBest thing to come out of the Army post WWII.", ">\n\n🤔", ">\n\n\"Let's write a two paragraph article about something freely available on the internet and make absolutely no attempt to actually tell you where to find it\".", ">\n\nCatjira!", ">\n\nhilarious!", ">\n\nFinally", ">\n\nThis is the oniony-est story I’ve seen on here in a while", ">\n\nCant wait for the next spending bill to include cat proofing our infrastructure", ">\n\nHonestly… I’d buy it.", ">\n\nWish I would have heard of that in November or so. This seems unique, fun and a great idea for a calendar.", ">\n\nI heard about this from Last Podcast on the Left, glad to see it pop up on my feed with pictures!", ">\n\nI'm gonna need an NSN For that...", ">\n\nOf course it’s the Portland District", ">\n\nHonestly this is worth buying", ">\n\nIm not a cat person, but I would buy the calendar.", ">\n\nAny way to view the album without losing my mind on that website? God it's shit on mobile.", ">\n\nI especially love how June just looks like a well framed optical illusion photo.", ">\n\nThis is cute and all, but man, it seems a little poor in taste that August is a kitty-shaped military drone blowing up an Iraqi preschool", ">\n\nWhat did Oregon do to deserve this", ">\n\nGee I read that and instantly I thought they had done a study and released an estimated calendar of when an where giant cats would attack infrastructure in 2023. Phew.", ">\n\nOn that day, humanity received a grim reminder…", ">\n\nah yes\nPortland keeping it weird again", ">\n\nit’s cute, but who wrote the copy?", ">\n\nAmazing", ">\n\neverything changed when the cat nation attacked", ">\n\nI'm into it", ">\n\nnow this is what I want my tax dollars going towards", ">\n\nI'd love to believe that there was some huge misunderstanding and somewhere someone had actually meant CATs like the company with the big heavy machinery", ">\n\nThe word \"attacking\" is doing a lot of work here", ">\n\nW", ">\n\nLook, I’m pretty anti-government, but this I can get behind", ">\n\nCattack on titan", ">\n\nI'm a civil engineer.\nI would fucking LOVE this.\nThis'll go good in my office next to my other engineering / math punny comics.\nLike this one.\nOr this one.\nOr, maybe this one.", ">\n\nThe Only well spent part of the military budget", ">\n\nI might buy it", ">\n\nWhat the fuck is that website", ">\n\nThis is great!", ">\n\nAugust is great.", ">\n\nNow the real MVP will tell us how to print this like an actual calendar.", ">\n\nThe only thing worthy of my tax dollars that the military has done this year.", ">\n\nOk, now we need a class II space laser pointer to distract the giant cats away from vital infrastructure.", ">\n\nThey all are so good. My favorite is May, then September.", ">\n\nOh... good.", ">\n\nThose paragraphs are hilarious.", ">\n\nNow THIS is news!", ">\n\nCatcatae", ">\n\nThey would, if they could.", ">\n\nOmg yes. Need.", ">\n\n\"attacking\" lol", ">\n\nThere’s a great Twitter user called Giant Military Cats or something like that where the user does much the same. \nSeems like a kind, lonely soul who revels in people thanking them. Give it a look", ">\n\nNot oniony, really… just awesome.", ">\n\nThis is what our tax dollars should be used for", ">\n\nThis is why shit takes forever to get built when the government is involved. Now it all make sense...", ">\n\nI love it, but the cats seemed poorly photoshopped in", ">\n\nThey're engineers, not graphic artists.", ">\n\nGotta normalize death and murder in any way possible. Next up, an E-sports tournament hosted by Army Recruiters! Complete with twitch ads and tik tok videos!", ">\n\nThis is the Army Corps of Engineers. They're more Bob the Builder than G.I. Joe.", ">\n\nThey literally hosted a twitch e sports tournament.", ">\n\nWas it City Skylines or Minecraft?", ">\n\nPainfully bad photoshop too…", ">\n\nHow about a calendar of captured MAGA white supremacist assholes who attacked critical infrastructure?", ">\n\nthis is what we get instead of universal healthcare?", ">\n\nSo I reckon the Corps of Engineers is now gonna blame a giant cat for their spectacular failures that led to loss of life during Hurricane Katrina.", ">\n\nWhy is this a thing lol", ">\n\nthey really could have done better, wow 3rd grader stuff here...", ">\n\nI assume they got 3/4 of the way through then ran out of budget, then made the contractor do the rest out of pocket to get paid.", ">\n\nwhen not signing off on pipelines against the desperate wishes of affected citizens they are actually quite charming.", ">\n\nThey would. Stupid usace are so full of themselves. Ooooh you're a scientist? I literally don't care. Go hand out fliers.", ">\n\nCould the armed forces and their adjacent groups stop trying to meme? It doesn't work.", ">\n\n“From the Producers that gave you the Katrina levee breaches…”" ]

[ "Imagine the work order. \nYour boss comes to you and says, \"Hey, you're in charge of the cats calendar.\"\n\"What calendar?\"\n\"The one with cats attacking infrastructure?\"\n\"What?\"", ">\n\nyou miss ONE day...", ">\n\nHail Vectron!", ">\n\nBy Vectron!", ">\n\nFor those yet to experience the holy might of Vectron's kindly claw", ">\n\nThank you. I had no idea.", ">\n\nYou are most welcome by Vectron", ">\n\nFor the love of all that is Vectron, your speech warms my Vectronic heart.", ">\n\nMay Vectron’s beard shed its benevolence upon us. 🙏🏻🙏🏻", ">\n\nAnd may all of his correspondence to us be sent Vectronically. So it is written, so shall it be done.", ">\n\nI live in Oregon and started to recognize a bunch of the dams, so I was like, “huh, that’s kinda cool.” Then I saw the text at the bottom of the first page. Portland District. Now a cat calendar makes perfect sense.", ">\n\nSame thing happened to me. I think I'm going to head to kinko's and have them print it out for me.", ">\n\nTell them you need to print some important official military documents before you show them what it is", ">\n\nDon’t forget to tell them you need it right meow!", ">\n\nWho will protect our infrastructure from this menace?", ">\n\nAn array of laser pointers.", ">\n\ncut to giant laser pointer satellite", ">\n\nomigod the jewish space lasers were real", ">\n\n*meowish space lasers", ">\n\nHey that's racist", ">\n\nI think it would be cheaper to buy a calendar than use the ink/toner required to print it.", ">\n\nThat's why you print it at work.", ">\n\nhaha true, oh wait I work from home...", ">\n\nIf you print from home for work you can write printer supplies off on your taxes :)", ">\n\nUh yes boss I needed a calendar, so… oh what? Use the company one? Ummm but the US army has a really nice one and I thought I’d be patriotic - what? Oh, yeah I know we’re in Canada, I just…", ">\n\nPortland is pretty much wannabe Vancouver, BC. I say it goes!", ">\n\nExactly what a Canadian would say...", ">\n\nGoodies, goodie goodie, yum yum.", ">\n\nI just scrolled until I found The Goodies reference but was wondering if I was going to find one at all.", ">\n\nIt's way down the list, isn't it? \n/knees hurt.", ">\n\nOw, my back! Get off my lawn!", ">\n\nOne engineer did it in his free time, and released it for use through the corps. \nThis was NOT government funded.", ">\n\nEven if it was government funded, I support this.", ">\n\nEven if it was government funded it would've been like maybe one day of pay at most? Not a ton for the amount of publicity they'll get that might make them even more money.", ">\n\nAssuming they already have the infrastructure pictures I would be surprised if it took more than 4 work hours. Also for chronically underfunded agencies that kind of PR is exactly how you get voters to convince the politicians to increase funds. I look forward to NASA figuring out how to photoshop giant cats playing with the planets like balls of yarn for their calendar", ">\n\n\nI look forward to NASA figuring out how to photoshop giant cats playing with the planets like balls of yarn for their calendar \n\nWell let me introduce you to the most bizarre social media messaging from an official U.S. government agency: The U.S. Consumer Product Safety Commission's Instagram feed. \nAnd before I catch any \"there's no way this is real\" replies, here's the Washington Post covering it: \n\nHow a federal bureaucrat uses astronaut babies and dogs riding pigeons to try to save your life", ">\n\nThis is rad!", ">\n\nCISA losing their shit rn", ">\n\nI would like one.", ">\n\nIt's a free PDF.", ">\n\nNo he would like one of the cats", ">\n\nyOu wOuLdN'T DoWnloAd a cAT", ">\n\nI can’t believe they included Sherlock getting knocked off a cliff. At least he didn’t jump this time.", ">\n\nI'm shocked that you're the only person I've seen comment on this so far! it's hilarious", ">\n\n\"Every year, dozens of cats attack important infrastructure for our country causing dozens of dollars of damage. Won't you help?\"", ">\n\nI heard this with Sarah McLoughlin's voice", ">\n\nArmy Cats", ">\n\nNow do it with pictures of our crumbling infrastructure.", ">\n\nThis seems like one of those things that is somehow going to age poorly given our Universe's current sense of irony. I don't know how exactly, but there's going to be some mass tragedy involving cats and a suspension bridge or something this year.", ">\n\nThe first image kind of reads like \"this infrastructure is super important so don't damage it\". The calendar almost seems like a shopping list for domestic terrorists or something lol.", ">\n\nI mean, pretty obvious that dams, substations, bridges and the like are good targets for chaos. Google maps gives you all this plus Police stations and everything, with photos and the address. Useless to worry about it", ">\n\nSeriously, anyone who unironicly think terrorists were waiting for a cat calendar to list a bunch of locations to bomb is paranoid about the wrong things.", ">\n\nCats would hunt and eat us if they were bigger than us", ">\n\nThey already do, they are called Tigers.", ">\n\nIf there were smaller tigers, we would keep them as pets, but they'd break all our stuff to prove they're still in charge.", ">\n\nThey already do, they are called Cats.", ">\n\nOH MY GOD!", ">\n\nMy tabby is a cute little tiger", ">\n\nI knew we had infrastructure challenges, but I didn't realize we were facing an infrastructure cat-astrophe!", ">\n\nTake my r/angryupvote", ">\n\nI love how shitty the photoshop is. Really ties it all together", ">\n\nYeah I like the idea--but the pictures chosen and color grading are all off. I'd like this idea better executed more professionally.", ">\n\nOh no I'm serious. The unprofessionalism is the best part. I would absolutely pay money for this", ">\n\nOnly only thing weirder is gonna be their crazy ass plan to save the infrastructure.", ">\n\nIt's the engineer Corp, they can build giant cat carriers.", ">\n\nI guess anything beats the 40 million they spend on viagra to keep the soldiers saluting.", ">\n\nThis is delightful", ">\n\ni was imagining mountain lions breaking in to dumpsters or something, not giant house cats gnawing on substations, not disappointed.", ">\n\nI don’t need a calendar now that our pocket rectangles handle all of that for us, but I really want this calendar.", ">\n\nIt is really convenient to just walk by my schedule versus having to pull it up, scroll, click and expand. I tend to forget about things if I don’t see it in front of me, but that’s just how my brain works. Plus if you’re on the phone trying to schedule something it’s nice to write it out too.", ">\n\nI'm sorry, we're already booked for giant spiders.", ">\n\nI personally kinda love this.", ">\n\nBest use of a miniscule amount of our tax dollars in the entire US $1.7T budget. US Army Corp wins the internet today!", ">\n\nHonestly, the entire army corps of engineers may be one of highest rates of return on public good vs funding", ">\n\nSeriously. They do a shit ton of quality and important public work on a relatively shoe-string budget for engineering. I have a lot of respect for the people that work at the USACOE.", ">\n\nSeptember, now that one is art", ">\n\nHaters will say it's Photoshop.", ">\n\nThey’ve never seen Catzilla.", ">\n\nHero of the Week! Hail yourself!", ">\n\nThere it is!", ">\n\n\nThe Army Corps Of Engineers Has Released a 2023 Calendar Of Giant Cats Attacking <\n\nr/brand new sentence \nAlso, giant cats attacking infrastructure is so 2020. In 2023 it just sounds silly.", ">\n\nSeptember ❤️", ">\n\nOmg. I love this. Especially the text blurbs on the pictures. Very funny and adorable!", ">\n\nSounds like they understand cats are required if you want social media traction", ">\n\nI have never wanted to buy a calendar more than I do now!", ">\n\nOn the one hand, I applaud the idea.\nOn the other hand, the photoshop skills look like they came from the army corps of engineers.", ">\n\nWould you actually want them to look like they were perfectly matched to each environment? I'm pretty sure the comedic effect is all that matters here.\nAnd besides, it was just one engineer that created this on their spare time, rather than an official ACE production.", ">\n\nI was mainly being a bit snarky because the internet. That, and what I said was objectively true.", ">\n\nCan confirm, the Corps of Engineers fuckkkkks", ">\n\nGoddammit I just bought my 2023 calendar too lol", ">\n\nThat’s cute though, not worrisome like a lot of other r/nottheonion posts.", ">\n\nAs ever, the Army Corps of Engineers are the one branch of the US state that can get the important shit done", ">\n\nFrom the comments ITT it's evident that most people are unaware of how important they are to the lives of the majority of productive people in this country (people who live near a coastline or a major body of water). It's not just dams and rivers, it's the actual physical coastline of america that they look after.", ">\n\nYup, it seems double edged- people think oh, they're the army corps and assumes they must be doing only military stuff. But equally if it was civilianised no doubt it'd be a target for cuts. An incredible org, regardless. And whether it's cats or weather or warming or the collapse of neglected infrastructure they're going to get more and more important so it's a damn good thing they exist because in 2023, nobody would invent them...", ">\n\nUSACE is an agency that is funded by the DOD but is vastly ran by civilians. There are very few enlisted or commissioned people in the army corps.", ">\n\nOK this is a thing and this is awesome", ">\n\nOops, I had \"Zombie Redneck Torture Family\" in the betting pool.", ">\n\nGrumble. Never gonna see a merman...", ">\n\nUSACE Portland District is one of the absolute best public sector social media presences out there. Seriously. Check it out.", ">\n\nCats in military pictures is an entire IG channel", ">\n\nGood boot", ">\n\nCommand team must be TDY", ">\n\nThat was even better than the title made me think it would be.", ">\n\nI support my tax dollars going to causes such as this.", ">\n\nFinally tax dollars doing something good", ">\n\nI’m kind of disappointed. From the title, I thought there would be photos of actual big cats attacking infrastructure, not photoshopped domestic cats. Anyone have a photo of a puma going after an electrical substation? Or a tiger gnawing on a water line?", ">\n\nNo. No one has that. Would be very interesting though to compile a calendar like that. Peace brother.", ">\n\nGreat, now I need a color printer.\nSeriously, thank you u/radioman8414!", ">\n\nThis is how I want my tax money spent. Downloaded and put up in my office!", ">\n\nThe regional social media guy who put this together is constantly hilarious", ">\n\nGreatest calendar of 2023.", ">\n\nI need one of these for my office! I've worked on some of these dams!", ">\n\nCan I ask you some dam questions?? I’m sure you know a lot of dam information. I’m sure all of us would love some dam stories. Thank you.", ">\n\nSure way to have a more interesting calendar than just infrastructure.", ">\n\nI would so adopt one if they existed.", ">\n\nI've heard army corps of engineers are very difficult to house train. May want to consider before adopting one.", ">\n\nTouché.", ">\n\nThat's amazing, thank you for posting it!", ">\n\nIs there anywhere to buy a nice physical copy of the calendar?", ">\n\nThose cats are mind-controlled by taxoplasmosis alien ameobas!", ">\n\nI was thinking this was gonna be mountain lions taking out maintenance huts or something like that. This is so much better", ">\n\nI’m the daughter of a former Portland, Oregon, US Army Corps Engineer, and I can confirm they are a strange crew. It makes me view the dams on the Columbia River fondly?", ">\n\nI love this so much.", ">\n\nDude. Awesome.", ">\n\nI love this! My astronomy teacher once did a talk on space cats. It was hysterical. Out of the blue he showed us pictures of space with cats added in. He felt we needed a fun class for laughs. I want this calendar.", ">\n\nThis would be really cool if they got a decent digital artist. But they didn't, they used photoshop about as well as I can.", ">\n\nI think that adds to the charm", ">\n\nDon't even need to see it, where can I buy it", ">\n\nFrom the link - \"Because the Army Corps is a Government Agency, the calendar is in public domain and totally free to download and print\"", ">\n\nThis is so funny, because it’s my Dad’s old workplace (from 1971 until he retired). My father, however, has zero sense of humor so he’d never work on something like this.", ">\n\nI met a guy from the Army Corps of Engineers when I worked for the EPA. Smartest guy I've ever met and the 2nd most hippe like person I've ever met. I'd like to think he had something to do with this idea.", ">\n\nFinally the massive military budget of the US is put to good use.", ">\n\nThis is awesome. I might have to buy one.", ">\n\nNo need. It's free, though you have to print it yourself if you want a physical copy", ">\n\nThis is so adorable! I approve wholeheartedly.", ">\n\nIt's about time.", ">\n\nSappers lead the way", ">\n\nI have so much love for this.", ">\n\nEhisssayons.", ">\n\nLove it.", ">\n\nUnintended benefits of relaxed Marijuana policies :)", ">\n\nUsace has not relaxed cannabis policies. No federal agency has", ">\n\nThey certainly have relaxed policy, even though federal law hasn't changed. It's legal in my state and the current administration has announced they won't be pursuing user level Marijuana charges at the federal level.\nWake up.", ">\n\nUSACE still falls under the same policies as the rest of the army. They're treated as DA civilians, and subject to periodic biochemical testing and the resultant consequences if they pee hot. The army has, and will not in the foreseeable future, relax any policy regarding marijuana.", ">\n\nAdorable idea; wish they had hired someone better at photoshop", ">\n\nIts a free gag calendar that was probably just put together by someone for fun in their spare time. Considering the state of infrastructure in the US I don't imagine the Corps of Engineers has a lot of extra spending money to throw around", ">\n\nIf they were smart, they would print it for us and sell it. I don't want a crappy calender that I printed on regular paper, I want the real thing and I would be glad to pay for it.", ">\n\nGenius!! This needs to be a trend. Reddit, make it so...", ">\n\nfuck yeah we finally gonna balance the budget", ">\n\nDecember's hilarious. I want this calender.", ">\n\nYou can totally tell that this is not real. The lighting on the cats is so obviously different than the environmental mistake. Pathetic effort infrastructure geeks.", ">\n\nSo they can blame cats for shoddy workmanship and lax maintenance.", ">\n\nDon't capitalize \"Of\" in titles", ">\n\nWish they'd focus on not taking eight years to permit a fucking project, those lazy excuses for engineers.", ">\n\nYou’re crazy dude. These peeps have built some amazing things. Extremely impressive.", ">\n\nThey used to.", ">\n\n😂", ">\n\nThis whole absurd thing is exactly my sense of humour. LOVE it.", ">\n\nOregon! I've seen the one at Detroit Dam. Sneaky bugger. Hangs out with Bigfoot.", ">\n\nI need this", ">\n\nThat's some adorable terrorism right there.", ">\n\nI remember seeing them, on quad bikes, with a lot of equipment, on Myrtle Beach beaches, I always wondered what they were doing...", ">\n\nI love this sequel to Beginning of the End!", ">\n\nIs there a way I can buy a physical version?", ">\n\nThey're Demo-cats!", ">\n\nAny recommendations of the best way to get this printed semi-professionally? I tried checking Costco photo centre but they make you use a template.", ">\n\nOf course it’s Portland.", ">\n\nKind of disappointing I can't actually buy a printed one. My daughter would love this.", ">\n\nA pretty good idea for a poster. Who doesn't like cats being cats?", ">\n\nI really wish I had become a part of the ACOE but my mother didn't want her only son in the military.", ">\n\nUsace has civilian positions you're employed by the army, but you don't go through basic", ">\n\nI hope they pay more than Nidec.", ">\n\nThanks for sharing! Downloaded and got my new Lock Screen wallpaper.", ">\n\nDecember is 🔥", ">\n\nObligatory Cat Dynamics", ">\n\nPoliticians will say this is the proof of the REAL reason of why our infrastructure is deteriorating, then vote in a measure to hire their friends and family to counter this threat.", ">\n\nI didnt know cats were domestic terrorists like Republicans. lol", ">\n\nThis is the only kind of apocalypse I could see myself getting excited about.", ">\n\nAugust a missed opportunity to have CAT Excavators.", ">\n\nYou have my attention.", ">\n\nSmart move", ">\n\nGod help us.", ">\n\nBest thing to come out of the Army post WWII.", ">\n\n🤔", ">\n\n\"Let's write a two paragraph article about something freely available on the internet and make absolutely no attempt to actually tell you where to find it\".", ">\n\nCatjira!", ">\n\nhilarious!", ">\n\nFinally", ">\n\nThis is the oniony-est story I’ve seen on here in a while", ">\n\nCant wait for the next spending bill to include cat proofing our infrastructure", ">\n\nHonestly… I’d buy it.", ">\n\nWish I would have heard of that in November or so. This seems unique, fun and a great idea for a calendar.", ">\n\nI heard about this from Last Podcast on the Left, glad to see it pop up on my feed with pictures!", ">\n\nI'm gonna need an NSN For that...", ">\n\nOf course it’s the Portland District", ">\n\nHonestly this is worth buying", ">\n\nIm not a cat person, but I would buy the calendar.", ">\n\nAny way to view the album without losing my mind on that website? God it's shit on mobile.", ">\n\nI especially love how June just looks like a well framed optical illusion photo.", ">\n\nThis is cute and all, but man, it seems a little poor in taste that August is a kitty-shaped military drone blowing up an Iraqi preschool", ">\n\nWhat did Oregon do to deserve this", ">\n\nGee I read that and instantly I thought they had done a study and released an estimated calendar of when an where giant cats would attack infrastructure in 2023. Phew.", ">\n\nOn that day, humanity received a grim reminder…", ">\n\nah yes\nPortland keeping it weird again", ">\n\nit’s cute, but who wrote the copy?", ">\n\nAmazing", ">\n\neverything changed when the cat nation attacked", ">\n\nI'm into it", ">\n\nnow this is what I want my tax dollars going towards", ">\n\nI'd love to believe that there was some huge misunderstanding and somewhere someone had actually meant CATs like the company with the big heavy machinery", ">\n\nThe word \"attacking\" is doing a lot of work here", ">\n\nW", ">\n\nLook, I’m pretty anti-government, but this I can get behind", ">\n\nCattack on titan", ">\n\nI'm a civil engineer.\nI would fucking LOVE this.\nThis'll go good in my office next to my other engineering / math punny comics.\nLike this one.\nOr this one.\nOr, maybe this one.", ">\n\nThe Only well spent part of the military budget", ">\n\nI might buy it", ">\n\nWhat the fuck is that website", ">\n\nThis is great!", ">\n\nAugust is great.", ">\n\nNow the real MVP will tell us how to print this like an actual calendar.", ">\n\nThe only thing worthy of my tax dollars that the military has done this year.", ">\n\nOk, now we need a class II space laser pointer to distract the giant cats away from vital infrastructure.", ">\n\nThey all are so good. My favorite is May, then September.", ">\n\nOh... good.", ">\n\nThose paragraphs are hilarious.", ">\n\nNow THIS is news!", ">\n\nCatcatae", ">\n\nThey would, if they could.", ">\n\nOmg yes. Need.", ">\n\n\"attacking\" lol", ">\n\nThere’s a great Twitter user called Giant Military Cats or something like that where the user does much the same. \nSeems like a kind, lonely soul who revels in people thanking them. Give it a look", ">\n\nNot oniony, really… just awesome.", ">\n\nThis is what our tax dollars should be used for", ">\n\nThis is why shit takes forever to get built when the government is involved. Now it all make sense...", ">\n\nI love it, but the cats seemed poorly photoshopped in", ">\n\nThey're engineers, not graphic artists.", ">\n\nGotta normalize death and murder in any way possible. Next up, an E-sports tournament hosted by Army Recruiters! Complete with twitch ads and tik tok videos!", ">\n\nThis is the Army Corps of Engineers. They're more Bob the Builder than G.I. Joe.", ">\n\nThey literally hosted a twitch e sports tournament.", ">\n\nWas it City Skylines or Minecraft?", ">\n\nPainfully bad photoshop too…", ">\n\nHow about a calendar of captured MAGA white supremacist assholes who attacked critical infrastructure?", ">\n\nthis is what we get instead of universal healthcare?", ">\n\nSo I reckon the Corps of Engineers is now gonna blame a giant cat for their spectacular failures that led to loss of life during Hurricane Katrina.", ">\n\nWhy is this a thing lol", ">\n\nthey really could have done better, wow 3rd grader stuff here...", ">\n\nI assume they got 3/4 of the way through then ran out of budget, then made the contractor do the rest out of pocket to get paid.", ">\n\nwhen not signing off on pipelines against the desperate wishes of affected citizens they are actually quite charming.", ">\n\nThey would. Stupid usace are so full of themselves. Ooooh you're a scientist? I literally don't care. Go hand out fliers.", ">\n\nCould the armed forces and their adjacent groups stop trying to meme? It doesn't work.", ">\n\n“From the Producers that gave you the Katrina levee breaches…”", ">\n\nCorruption and NIMBY in Louisiana gave us levee breeches. The Army's design would have meant clearing blocks on either side of the levees to increase the base. Each section of levee is run by a local committee. NO ONE would vote to demolish their own homes so they got a functionally unsound levee system" ]

[ "Imagine the work order. \nYour boss comes to you and says, \"Hey, you're in charge of the cats calendar.\"\n\"What calendar?\"\n\"The one with cats attacking infrastructure?\"\n\"What?\"", ">\n\nyou miss ONE day...", ">\n\nHail Vectron!", ">\n\nBy Vectron!", ">\n\nFor those yet to experience the holy might of Vectron's kindly claw", ">\n\nThank you. I had no idea.", ">\n\nYou are most welcome by Vectron", ">\n\nFor the love of all that is Vectron, your speech warms my Vectronic heart.", ">\n\nMay Vectron’s beard shed its benevolence upon us. 🙏🏻🙏🏻", ">\n\nAnd may all of his correspondence to us be sent Vectronically. So it is written, so shall it be done.", ">\n\nI live in Oregon and started to recognize a bunch of the dams, so I was like, “huh, that’s kinda cool.” Then I saw the text at the bottom of the first page. Portland District. Now a cat calendar makes perfect sense.", ">\n\nSame thing happened to me. I think I'm going to head to kinko's and have them print it out for me.", ">\n\nTell them you need to print some important official military documents before you show them what it is", ">\n\nDon’t forget to tell them you need it right meow!", ">\n\nWho will protect our infrastructure from this menace?", ">\n\nAn array of laser pointers.", ">\n\ncut to giant laser pointer satellite", ">\n\nomigod the jewish space lasers were real", ">\n\n*meowish space lasers", ">\n\nHey that's racist", ">\n\nI think it would be cheaper to buy a calendar than use the ink/toner required to print it.", ">\n\nThat's why you print it at work.", ">\n\nhaha true, oh wait I work from home...", ">\n\nIf you print from home for work you can write printer supplies off on your taxes :)", ">\n\nUh yes boss I needed a calendar, so… oh what? Use the company one? Ummm but the US army has a really nice one and I thought I’d be patriotic - what? Oh, yeah I know we’re in Canada, I just…", ">\n\nPortland is pretty much wannabe Vancouver, BC. I say it goes!", ">\n\nExactly what a Canadian would say...", ">\n\nGoodies, goodie goodie, yum yum.", ">\n\nI just scrolled until I found The Goodies reference but was wondering if I was going to find one at all.", ">\n\nIt's way down the list, isn't it? \n/knees hurt.", ">\n\nOw, my back! Get off my lawn!", ">\n\nOne engineer did it in his free time, and released it for use through the corps. \nThis was NOT government funded.", ">\n\nEven if it was government funded, I support this.", ">\n\nEven if it was government funded it would've been like maybe one day of pay at most? Not a ton for the amount of publicity they'll get that might make them even more money.", ">\n\nAssuming they already have the infrastructure pictures I would be surprised if it took more than 4 work hours. Also for chronically underfunded agencies that kind of PR is exactly how you get voters to convince the politicians to increase funds. I look forward to NASA figuring out how to photoshop giant cats playing with the planets like balls of yarn for their calendar", ">\n\n\nI look forward to NASA figuring out how to photoshop giant cats playing with the planets like balls of yarn for their calendar \n\nWell let me introduce you to the most bizarre social media messaging from an official U.S. government agency: The U.S. Consumer Product Safety Commission's Instagram feed. \nAnd before I catch any \"there's no way this is real\" replies, here's the Washington Post covering it: \n\nHow a federal bureaucrat uses astronaut babies and dogs riding pigeons to try to save your life", ">\n\nThis is rad!", ">\n\nCISA losing their shit rn", ">\n\nI would like one.", ">\n\nIt's a free PDF.", ">\n\nNo he would like one of the cats", ">\n\nyOu wOuLdN'T DoWnloAd a cAT", ">\n\nI can’t believe they included Sherlock getting knocked off a cliff. At least he didn’t jump this time.", ">\n\nI'm shocked that you're the only person I've seen comment on this so far! it's hilarious", ">\n\n\"Every year, dozens of cats attack important infrastructure for our country causing dozens of dollars of damage. Won't you help?\"", ">\n\nI heard this with Sarah McLoughlin's voice", ">\n\nArmy Cats", ">\n\nNow do it with pictures of our crumbling infrastructure.", ">\n\nThis seems like one of those things that is somehow going to age poorly given our Universe's current sense of irony. I don't know how exactly, but there's going to be some mass tragedy involving cats and a suspension bridge or something this year.", ">\n\nThe first image kind of reads like \"this infrastructure is super important so don't damage it\". The calendar almost seems like a shopping list for domestic terrorists or something lol.", ">\n\nI mean, pretty obvious that dams, substations, bridges and the like are good targets for chaos. Google maps gives you all this plus Police stations and everything, with photos and the address. Useless to worry about it", ">\n\nSeriously, anyone who unironicly think terrorists were waiting for a cat calendar to list a bunch of locations to bomb is paranoid about the wrong things.", ">\n\nCats would hunt and eat us if they were bigger than us", ">\n\nThey already do, they are called Tigers.", ">\n\nIf there were smaller tigers, we would keep them as pets, but they'd break all our stuff to prove they're still in charge.", ">\n\nThey already do, they are called Cats.", ">\n\nOH MY GOD!", ">\n\nMy tabby is a cute little tiger", ">\n\nI knew we had infrastructure challenges, but I didn't realize we were facing an infrastructure cat-astrophe!", ">\n\nTake my r/angryupvote", ">\n\nI love how shitty the photoshop is. Really ties it all together", ">\n\nYeah I like the idea--but the pictures chosen and color grading are all off. I'd like this idea better executed more professionally.", ">\n\nOh no I'm serious. The unprofessionalism is the best part. I would absolutely pay money for this", ">\n\nOnly only thing weirder is gonna be their crazy ass plan to save the infrastructure.", ">\n\nIt's the engineer Corp, they can build giant cat carriers.", ">\n\nI guess anything beats the 40 million they spend on viagra to keep the soldiers saluting.", ">\n\nThis is delightful", ">\n\ni was imagining mountain lions breaking in to dumpsters or something, not giant house cats gnawing on substations, not disappointed.", ">\n\nI don’t need a calendar now that our pocket rectangles handle all of that for us, but I really want this calendar.", ">\n\nIt is really convenient to just walk by my schedule versus having to pull it up, scroll, click and expand. I tend to forget about things if I don’t see it in front of me, but that’s just how my brain works. Plus if you’re on the phone trying to schedule something it’s nice to write it out too.", ">\n\nI'm sorry, we're already booked for giant spiders.", ">\n\nI personally kinda love this.", ">\n\nBest use of a miniscule amount of our tax dollars in the entire US $1.7T budget. US Army Corp wins the internet today!", ">\n\nHonestly, the entire army corps of engineers may be one of highest rates of return on public good vs funding", ">\n\nSeriously. They do a shit ton of quality and important public work on a relatively shoe-string budget for engineering. I have a lot of respect for the people that work at the USACOE.", ">\n\nSeptember, now that one is art", ">\n\nHaters will say it's Photoshop.", ">\n\nThey’ve never seen Catzilla.", ">\n\nHero of the Week! Hail yourself!", ">\n\nThere it is!", ">\n\n\nThe Army Corps Of Engineers Has Released a 2023 Calendar Of Giant Cats Attacking <\n\nr/brand new sentence \nAlso, giant cats attacking infrastructure is so 2020. In 2023 it just sounds silly.", ">\n\nSeptember ❤️", ">\n\nOmg. I love this. Especially the text blurbs on the pictures. Very funny and adorable!", ">\n\nSounds like they understand cats are required if you want social media traction", ">\n\nI have never wanted to buy a calendar more than I do now!", ">\n\nOn the one hand, I applaud the idea.\nOn the other hand, the photoshop skills look like they came from the army corps of engineers.", ">\n\nWould you actually want them to look like they were perfectly matched to each environment? I'm pretty sure the comedic effect is all that matters here.\nAnd besides, it was just one engineer that created this on their spare time, rather than an official ACE production.", ">\n\nI was mainly being a bit snarky because the internet. That, and what I said was objectively true.", ">\n\nCan confirm, the Corps of Engineers fuckkkkks", ">\n\nGoddammit I just bought my 2023 calendar too lol", ">\n\nThat’s cute though, not worrisome like a lot of other r/nottheonion posts.", ">\n\nAs ever, the Army Corps of Engineers are the one branch of the US state that can get the important shit done", ">\n\nFrom the comments ITT it's evident that most people are unaware of how important they are to the lives of the majority of productive people in this country (people who live near a coastline or a major body of water). It's not just dams and rivers, it's the actual physical coastline of america that they look after.", ">\n\nYup, it seems double edged- people think oh, they're the army corps and assumes they must be doing only military stuff. But equally if it was civilianised no doubt it'd be a target for cuts. An incredible org, regardless. And whether it's cats or weather or warming or the collapse of neglected infrastructure they're going to get more and more important so it's a damn good thing they exist because in 2023, nobody would invent them...", ">\n\nUSACE is an agency that is funded by the DOD but is vastly ran by civilians. There are very few enlisted or commissioned people in the army corps.", ">\n\nOK this is a thing and this is awesome", ">\n\nOops, I had \"Zombie Redneck Torture Family\" in the betting pool.", ">\n\nGrumble. Never gonna see a merman...", ">\n\nUSACE Portland District is one of the absolute best public sector social media presences out there. Seriously. Check it out.", ">\n\nCats in military pictures is an entire IG channel", ">\n\nGood boot", ">\n\nCommand team must be TDY", ">\n\nThat was even better than the title made me think it would be.", ">\n\nI support my tax dollars going to causes such as this.", ">\n\nFinally tax dollars doing something good", ">\n\nI’m kind of disappointed. From the title, I thought there would be photos of actual big cats attacking infrastructure, not photoshopped domestic cats. Anyone have a photo of a puma going after an electrical substation? Or a tiger gnawing on a water line?", ">\n\nNo. No one has that. Would be very interesting though to compile a calendar like that. Peace brother.", ">\n\nGreat, now I need a color printer.\nSeriously, thank you u/radioman8414!", ">\n\nThis is how I want my tax money spent. Downloaded and put up in my office!", ">\n\nThe regional social media guy who put this together is constantly hilarious", ">\n\nGreatest calendar of 2023.", ">\n\nI need one of these for my office! I've worked on some of these dams!", ">\n\nCan I ask you some dam questions?? I’m sure you know a lot of dam information. I’m sure all of us would love some dam stories. Thank you.", ">\n\nSure way to have a more interesting calendar than just infrastructure.", ">\n\nI would so adopt one if they existed.", ">\n\nI've heard army corps of engineers are very difficult to house train. May want to consider before adopting one.", ">\n\nTouché.", ">\n\nThat's amazing, thank you for posting it!", ">\n\nIs there anywhere to buy a nice physical copy of the calendar?", ">\n\nThose cats are mind-controlled by taxoplasmosis alien ameobas!", ">\n\nI was thinking this was gonna be mountain lions taking out maintenance huts or something like that. This is so much better", ">\n\nI’m the daughter of a former Portland, Oregon, US Army Corps Engineer, and I can confirm they are a strange crew. It makes me view the dams on the Columbia River fondly?", ">\n\nI love this so much.", ">\n\nDude. Awesome.", ">\n\nI love this! My astronomy teacher once did a talk on space cats. It was hysterical. Out of the blue he showed us pictures of space with cats added in. He felt we needed a fun class for laughs. I want this calendar.", ">\n\nThis would be really cool if they got a decent digital artist. But they didn't, they used photoshop about as well as I can.", ">\n\nI think that adds to the charm", ">\n\nDon't even need to see it, where can I buy it", ">\n\nFrom the link - \"Because the Army Corps is a Government Agency, the calendar is in public domain and totally free to download and print\"", ">\n\nThis is so funny, because it’s my Dad’s old workplace (from 1971 until he retired). My father, however, has zero sense of humor so he’d never work on something like this.", ">\n\nI met a guy from the Army Corps of Engineers when I worked for the EPA. Smartest guy I've ever met and the 2nd most hippe like person I've ever met. I'd like to think he had something to do with this idea.", ">\n\nFinally the massive military budget of the US is put to good use.", ">\n\nThis is awesome. I might have to buy one.", ">\n\nNo need. It's free, though you have to print it yourself if you want a physical copy", ">\n\nThis is so adorable! I approve wholeheartedly.", ">\n\nIt's about time.", ">\n\nSappers lead the way", ">\n\nI have so much love for this.", ">\n\nEhisssayons.", ">\n\nLove it.", ">\n\nUnintended benefits of relaxed Marijuana policies :)", ">\n\nUsace has not relaxed cannabis policies. No federal agency has", ">\n\nThey certainly have relaxed policy, even though federal law hasn't changed. It's legal in my state and the current administration has announced they won't be pursuing user level Marijuana charges at the federal level.\nWake up.", ">\n\nUSACE still falls under the same policies as the rest of the army. They're treated as DA civilians, and subject to periodic biochemical testing and the resultant consequences if they pee hot. The army has, and will not in the foreseeable future, relax any policy regarding marijuana.", ">\n\nAdorable idea; wish they had hired someone better at photoshop", ">\n\nIts a free gag calendar that was probably just put together by someone for fun in their spare time. Considering the state of infrastructure in the US I don't imagine the Corps of Engineers has a lot of extra spending money to throw around", ">\n\nIf they were smart, they would print it for us and sell it. I don't want a crappy calender that I printed on regular paper, I want the real thing and I would be glad to pay for it.", ">\n\nGenius!! This needs to be a trend. Reddit, make it so...", ">\n\nfuck yeah we finally gonna balance the budget", ">\n\nDecember's hilarious. I want this calender.", ">\n\nYou can totally tell that this is not real. The lighting on the cats is so obviously different than the environmental mistake. Pathetic effort infrastructure geeks.", ">\n\nSo they can blame cats for shoddy workmanship and lax maintenance.", ">\n\nDon't capitalize \"Of\" in titles", ">\n\nWish they'd focus on not taking eight years to permit a fucking project, those lazy excuses for engineers.", ">\n\nYou’re crazy dude. These peeps have built some amazing things. Extremely impressive.", ">\n\nThey used to.", ">\n\n😂", ">\n\nThis whole absurd thing is exactly my sense of humour. LOVE it.", ">\n\nOregon! I've seen the one at Detroit Dam. Sneaky bugger. Hangs out with Bigfoot.", ">\n\nI need this", ">\n\nThat's some adorable terrorism right there.", ">\n\nI remember seeing them, on quad bikes, with a lot of equipment, on Myrtle Beach beaches, I always wondered what they were doing...", ">\n\nI love this sequel to Beginning of the End!", ">\n\nIs there a way I can buy a physical version?", ">\n\nThey're Demo-cats!", ">\n\nAny recommendations of the best way to get this printed semi-professionally? I tried checking Costco photo centre but they make you use a template.", ">\n\nOf course it’s Portland.", ">\n\nKind of disappointing I can't actually buy a printed one. My daughter would love this.", ">\n\nA pretty good idea for a poster. Who doesn't like cats being cats?", ">\n\nI really wish I had become a part of the ACOE but my mother didn't want her only son in the military.", ">\n\nUsace has civilian positions you're employed by the army, but you don't go through basic", ">\n\nI hope they pay more than Nidec.", ">\n\nThanks for sharing! Downloaded and got my new Lock Screen wallpaper.", ">\n\nDecember is 🔥", ">\n\nObligatory Cat Dynamics", ">\n\nPoliticians will say this is the proof of the REAL reason of why our infrastructure is deteriorating, then vote in a measure to hire their friends and family to counter this threat.", ">\n\nI didnt know cats were domestic terrorists like Republicans. lol", ">\n\nThis is the only kind of apocalypse I could see myself getting excited about.", ">\n\nAugust a missed opportunity to have CAT Excavators.", ">\n\nYou have my attention.", ">\n\nSmart move", ">\n\nGod help us.", ">\n\nBest thing to come out of the Army post WWII.", ">\n\n🤔", ">\n\n\"Let's write a two paragraph article about something freely available on the internet and make absolutely no attempt to actually tell you where to find it\".", ">\n\nCatjira!", ">\n\nhilarious!", ">\n\nFinally", ">\n\nThis is the oniony-est story I’ve seen on here in a while", ">\n\nCant wait for the next spending bill to include cat proofing our infrastructure", ">\n\nHonestly… I’d buy it.", ">\n\nWish I would have heard of that in November or so. This seems unique, fun and a great idea for a calendar.", ">\n\nI heard about this from Last Podcast on the Left, glad to see it pop up on my feed with pictures!", ">\n\nI'm gonna need an NSN For that...", ">\n\nOf course it’s the Portland District", ">\n\nHonestly this is worth buying", ">\n\nIm not a cat person, but I would buy the calendar.", ">\n\nAny way to view the album without losing my mind on that website? God it's shit on mobile.", ">\n\nI especially love how June just looks like a well framed optical illusion photo.", ">\n\nThis is cute and all, but man, it seems a little poor in taste that August is a kitty-shaped military drone blowing up an Iraqi preschool", ">\n\nWhat did Oregon do to deserve this", ">\n\nGee I read that and instantly I thought they had done a study and released an estimated calendar of when an where giant cats would attack infrastructure in 2023. Phew.", ">\n\nOn that day, humanity received a grim reminder…", ">\n\nah yes\nPortland keeping it weird again", ">\n\nit’s cute, but who wrote the copy?", ">\n\nAmazing", ">\n\neverything changed when the cat nation attacked", ">\n\nI'm into it", ">\n\nnow this is what I want my tax dollars going towards", ">\n\nI'd love to believe that there was some huge misunderstanding and somewhere someone had actually meant CATs like the company with the big heavy machinery", ">\n\nThe word \"attacking\" is doing a lot of work here", ">\n\nW", ">\n\nLook, I’m pretty anti-government, but this I can get behind", ">\n\nCattack on titan", ">\n\nI'm a civil engineer.\nI would fucking LOVE this.\nThis'll go good in my office next to my other engineering / math punny comics.\nLike this one.\nOr this one.\nOr, maybe this one.", ">\n\nThe Only well spent part of the military budget", ">\n\nI might buy it", ">\n\nWhat the fuck is that website", ">\n\nThis is great!", ">\n\nAugust is great.", ">\n\nNow the real MVP will tell us how to print this like an actual calendar.", ">\n\nThe only thing worthy of my tax dollars that the military has done this year.", ">\n\nOk, now we need a class II space laser pointer to distract the giant cats away from vital infrastructure.", ">\n\nThey all are so good. My favorite is May, then September.", ">\n\nOh... good.", ">\n\nThose paragraphs are hilarious.", ">\n\nNow THIS is news!", ">\n\nCatcatae", ">\n\nThey would, if they could.", ">\n\nOmg yes. Need.", ">\n\n\"attacking\" lol", ">\n\nThere’s a great Twitter user called Giant Military Cats or something like that where the user does much the same. \nSeems like a kind, lonely soul who revels in people thanking them. Give it a look", ">\n\nNot oniony, really… just awesome.", ">\n\nThis is what our tax dollars should be used for", ">\n\nThis is why shit takes forever to get built when the government is involved. Now it all make sense...", ">\n\nI love it, but the cats seemed poorly photoshopped in", ">\n\nThey're engineers, not graphic artists.", ">\n\nGotta normalize death and murder in any way possible. Next up, an E-sports tournament hosted by Army Recruiters! Complete with twitch ads and tik tok videos!", ">\n\nThis is the Army Corps of Engineers. They're more Bob the Builder than G.I. Joe.", ">\n\nThey literally hosted a twitch e sports tournament.", ">\n\nWas it City Skylines or Minecraft?", ">\n\nPainfully bad photoshop too…", ">\n\nHow about a calendar of captured MAGA white supremacist assholes who attacked critical infrastructure?", ">\n\nthis is what we get instead of universal healthcare?", ">\n\nSo I reckon the Corps of Engineers is now gonna blame a giant cat for their spectacular failures that led to loss of life during Hurricane Katrina.", ">\n\nWhy is this a thing lol", ">\n\nthey really could have done better, wow 3rd grader stuff here...", ">\n\nI assume they got 3/4 of the way through then ran out of budget, then made the contractor do the rest out of pocket to get paid.", ">\n\nwhen not signing off on pipelines against the desperate wishes of affected citizens they are actually quite charming.", ">\n\nThey would. Stupid usace are so full of themselves. Ooooh you're a scientist? I literally don't care. Go hand out fliers.", ">\n\nCould the armed forces and their adjacent groups stop trying to meme? It doesn't work.", ">\n\n“From the Producers that gave you the Katrina levee breaches…”", ">\n\nCorruption and NIMBY in Louisiana gave us levee breeches. The Army's design would have meant clearing blocks on either side of the levees to increase the base. Each section of levee is run by a local committee. NO ONE would vote to demolish their own homes so they got a functionally unsound levee system", ">\n\nThis is a great calendar and made me laugh! Except for............................. the written parts which could have been left out or just put on the back of the photo." ]

[ "Imagine the work order. \nYour boss comes to you and says, \"Hey, you're in charge of the cats calendar.\"\n\"What calendar?\"\n\"The one with cats attacking infrastructure?\"\n\"What?\"", ">\n\nyou miss ONE day...", ">\n\nHail Vectron!", ">\n\nBy Vectron!", ">\n\nFor those yet to experience the holy might of Vectron's kindly claw", ">\n\nThank you. I had no idea.", ">\n\nYou are most welcome by Vectron", ">\n\nFor the love of all that is Vectron, your speech warms my Vectronic heart.", ">\n\nMay Vectron’s beard shed its benevolence upon us. 🙏🏻🙏🏻", ">\n\nAnd may all of his correspondence to us be sent Vectronically. So it is written, so shall it be done.", ">\n\nI live in Oregon and started to recognize a bunch of the dams, so I was like, “huh, that’s kinda cool.” Then I saw the text at the bottom of the first page. Portland District. Now a cat calendar makes perfect sense.", ">\n\nSame thing happened to me. I think I'm going to head to kinko's and have them print it out for me.", ">\n\nTell them you need to print some important official military documents before you show them what it is", ">\n\nDon’t forget to tell them you need it right meow!", ">\n\nWho will protect our infrastructure from this menace?", ">\n\nAn array of laser pointers.", ">\n\ncut to giant laser pointer satellite", ">\n\nomigod the jewish space lasers were real", ">\n\n*meowish space lasers", ">\n\nHey that's racist", ">\n\nI think it would be cheaper to buy a calendar than use the ink/toner required to print it.", ">\n\nThat's why you print it at work.", ">\n\nhaha true, oh wait I work from home...", ">\n\nIf you print from home for work you can write printer supplies off on your taxes :)", ">\n\nUh yes boss I needed a calendar, so… oh what? Use the company one? Ummm but the US army has a really nice one and I thought I’d be patriotic - what? Oh, yeah I know we’re in Canada, I just…", ">\n\nPortland is pretty much wannabe Vancouver, BC. I say it goes!", ">\n\nExactly what a Canadian would say...", ">\n\nGoodies, goodie goodie, yum yum.", ">\n\nI just scrolled until I found The Goodies reference but was wondering if I was going to find one at all.", ">\n\nIt's way down the list, isn't it? \n/knees hurt.", ">\n\nOw, my back! Get off my lawn!", ">\n\nOne engineer did it in his free time, and released it for use through the corps. \nThis was NOT government funded.", ">\n\nEven if it was government funded, I support this.", ">\n\nEven if it was government funded it would've been like maybe one day of pay at most? Not a ton for the amount of publicity they'll get that might make them even more money.", ">\n\nAssuming they already have the infrastructure pictures I would be surprised if it took more than 4 work hours. Also for chronically underfunded agencies that kind of PR is exactly how you get voters to convince the politicians to increase funds. I look forward to NASA figuring out how to photoshop giant cats playing with the planets like balls of yarn for their calendar", ">\n\n\nI look forward to NASA figuring out how to photoshop giant cats playing with the planets like balls of yarn for their calendar \n\nWell let me introduce you to the most bizarre social media messaging from an official U.S. government agency: The U.S. Consumer Product Safety Commission's Instagram feed. \nAnd before I catch any \"there's no way this is real\" replies, here's the Washington Post covering it: \n\nHow a federal bureaucrat uses astronaut babies and dogs riding pigeons to try to save your life", ">\n\nThis is rad!", ">\n\nCISA losing their shit rn", ">\n\nI would like one.", ">\n\nIt's a free PDF.", ">\n\nNo he would like one of the cats", ">\n\nyOu wOuLdN'T DoWnloAd a cAT", ">\n\nI can’t believe they included Sherlock getting knocked off a cliff. At least he didn’t jump this time.", ">\n\nI'm shocked that you're the only person I've seen comment on this so far! it's hilarious", ">\n\n\"Every year, dozens of cats attack important infrastructure for our country causing dozens of dollars of damage. Won't you help?\"", ">\n\nI heard this with Sarah McLoughlin's voice", ">\n\nArmy Cats", ">\n\nNow do it with pictures of our crumbling infrastructure.", ">\n\nThis seems like one of those things that is somehow going to age poorly given our Universe's current sense of irony. I don't know how exactly, but there's going to be some mass tragedy involving cats and a suspension bridge or something this year.", ">\n\nThe first image kind of reads like \"this infrastructure is super important so don't damage it\". The calendar almost seems like a shopping list for domestic terrorists or something lol.", ">\n\nI mean, pretty obvious that dams, substations, bridges and the like are good targets for chaos. Google maps gives you all this plus Police stations and everything, with photos and the address. Useless to worry about it", ">\n\nSeriously, anyone who unironicly think terrorists were waiting for a cat calendar to list a bunch of locations to bomb is paranoid about the wrong things.", ">\n\nCats would hunt and eat us if they were bigger than us", ">\n\nThey already do, they are called Tigers.", ">\n\nIf there were smaller tigers, we would keep them as pets, but they'd break all our stuff to prove they're still in charge.", ">\n\nThey already do, they are called Cats.", ">\n\nOH MY GOD!", ">\n\nMy tabby is a cute little tiger", ">\n\nI knew we had infrastructure challenges, but I didn't realize we were facing an infrastructure cat-astrophe!", ">\n\nTake my r/angryupvote", ">\n\nI love how shitty the photoshop is. Really ties it all together", ">\n\nYeah I like the idea--but the pictures chosen and color grading are all off. I'd like this idea better executed more professionally.", ">\n\nOh no I'm serious. The unprofessionalism is the best part. I would absolutely pay money for this", ">\n\nOnly only thing weirder is gonna be their crazy ass plan to save the infrastructure.", ">\n\nIt's the engineer Corp, they can build giant cat carriers.", ">\n\nI guess anything beats the 40 million they spend on viagra to keep the soldiers saluting.", ">\n\nThis is delightful", ">\n\ni was imagining mountain lions breaking in to dumpsters or something, not giant house cats gnawing on substations, not disappointed.", ">\n\nI don’t need a calendar now that our pocket rectangles handle all of that for us, but I really want this calendar.", ">\n\nIt is really convenient to just walk by my schedule versus having to pull it up, scroll, click and expand. I tend to forget about things if I don’t see it in front of me, but that’s just how my brain works. Plus if you’re on the phone trying to schedule something it’s nice to write it out too.", ">\n\nI'm sorry, we're already booked for giant spiders.", ">\n\nI personally kinda love this.", ">\n\nBest use of a miniscule amount of our tax dollars in the entire US $1.7T budget. US Army Corp wins the internet today!", ">\n\nHonestly, the entire army corps of engineers may be one of highest rates of return on public good vs funding", ">\n\nSeriously. They do a shit ton of quality and important public work on a relatively shoe-string budget for engineering. I have a lot of respect for the people that work at the USACOE.", ">\n\nSeptember, now that one is art", ">\n\nHaters will say it's Photoshop.", ">\n\nThey’ve never seen Catzilla.", ">\n\nHero of the Week! Hail yourself!", ">\n\nThere it is!", ">\n\n\nThe Army Corps Of Engineers Has Released a 2023 Calendar Of Giant Cats Attacking <\n\nr/brand new sentence \nAlso, giant cats attacking infrastructure is so 2020. In 2023 it just sounds silly.", ">\n\nSeptember ❤️", ">\n\nOmg. I love this. Especially the text blurbs on the pictures. Very funny and adorable!", ">\n\nSounds like they understand cats are required if you want social media traction", ">\n\nI have never wanted to buy a calendar more than I do now!", ">\n\nOn the one hand, I applaud the idea.\nOn the other hand, the photoshop skills look like they came from the army corps of engineers.", ">\n\nWould you actually want them to look like they were perfectly matched to each environment? I'm pretty sure the comedic effect is all that matters here.\nAnd besides, it was just one engineer that created this on their spare time, rather than an official ACE production.", ">\n\nI was mainly being a bit snarky because the internet. That, and what I said was objectively true.", ">\n\nCan confirm, the Corps of Engineers fuckkkkks", ">\n\nGoddammit I just bought my 2023 calendar too lol", ">\n\nThat’s cute though, not worrisome like a lot of other r/nottheonion posts.", ">\n\nAs ever, the Army Corps of Engineers are the one branch of the US state that can get the important shit done", ">\n\nFrom the comments ITT it's evident that most people are unaware of how important they are to the lives of the majority of productive people in this country (people who live near a coastline or a major body of water). It's not just dams and rivers, it's the actual physical coastline of america that they look after.", ">\n\nYup, it seems double edged- people think oh, they're the army corps and assumes they must be doing only military stuff. But equally if it was civilianised no doubt it'd be a target for cuts. An incredible org, regardless. And whether it's cats or weather or warming or the collapse of neglected infrastructure they're going to get more and more important so it's a damn good thing they exist because in 2023, nobody would invent them...", ">\n\nUSACE is an agency that is funded by the DOD but is vastly ran by civilians. There are very few enlisted or commissioned people in the army corps.", ">\n\nOK this is a thing and this is awesome", ">\n\nOops, I had \"Zombie Redneck Torture Family\" in the betting pool.", ">\n\nGrumble. Never gonna see a merman...", ">\n\nUSACE Portland District is one of the absolute best public sector social media presences out there. Seriously. Check it out.", ">\n\nCats in military pictures is an entire IG channel", ">\n\nGood boot", ">\n\nCommand team must be TDY", ">\n\nThat was even better than the title made me think it would be.", ">\n\nI support my tax dollars going to causes such as this.", ">\n\nFinally tax dollars doing something good", ">\n\nI’m kind of disappointed. From the title, I thought there would be photos of actual big cats attacking infrastructure, not photoshopped domestic cats. Anyone have a photo of a puma going after an electrical substation? Or a tiger gnawing on a water line?", ">\n\nNo. No one has that. Would be very interesting though to compile a calendar like that. Peace brother.", ">\n\nGreat, now I need a color printer.\nSeriously, thank you u/radioman8414!", ">\n\nThis is how I want my tax money spent. Downloaded and put up in my office!", ">\n\nThe regional social media guy who put this together is constantly hilarious", ">\n\nGreatest calendar of 2023.", ">\n\nI need one of these for my office! I've worked on some of these dams!", ">\n\nCan I ask you some dam questions?? I’m sure you know a lot of dam information. I’m sure all of us would love some dam stories. Thank you.", ">\n\nSure way to have a more interesting calendar than just infrastructure.", ">\n\nI would so adopt one if they existed.", ">\n\nI've heard army corps of engineers are very difficult to house train. May want to consider before adopting one.", ">\n\nTouché.", ">\n\nThat's amazing, thank you for posting it!", ">\n\nIs there anywhere to buy a nice physical copy of the calendar?", ">\n\nThose cats are mind-controlled by taxoplasmosis alien ameobas!", ">\n\nI was thinking this was gonna be mountain lions taking out maintenance huts or something like that. This is so much better", ">\n\nI’m the daughter of a former Portland, Oregon, US Army Corps Engineer, and I can confirm they are a strange crew. It makes me view the dams on the Columbia River fondly?", ">\n\nI love this so much.", ">\n\nDude. Awesome.", ">\n\nI love this! My astronomy teacher once did a talk on space cats. It was hysterical. Out of the blue he showed us pictures of space with cats added in. He felt we needed a fun class for laughs. I want this calendar.", ">\n\nThis would be really cool if they got a decent digital artist. But they didn't, they used photoshop about as well as I can.", ">\n\nI think that adds to the charm", ">\n\nDon't even need to see it, where can I buy it", ">\n\nFrom the link - \"Because the Army Corps is a Government Agency, the calendar is in public domain and totally free to download and print\"", ">\n\nThis is so funny, because it’s my Dad’s old workplace (from 1971 until he retired). My father, however, has zero sense of humor so he’d never work on something like this.", ">\n\nI met a guy from the Army Corps of Engineers when I worked for the EPA. Smartest guy I've ever met and the 2nd most hippe like person I've ever met. I'd like to think he had something to do with this idea.", ">\n\nFinally the massive military budget of the US is put to good use.", ">\n\nThis is awesome. I might have to buy one.", ">\n\nNo need. It's free, though you have to print it yourself if you want a physical copy", ">\n\nThis is so adorable! I approve wholeheartedly.", ">\n\nIt's about time.", ">\n\nSappers lead the way", ">\n\nI have so much love for this.", ">\n\nEhisssayons.", ">\n\nLove it.", ">\n\nUnintended benefits of relaxed Marijuana policies :)", ">\n\nUsace has not relaxed cannabis policies. No federal agency has", ">\n\nThey certainly have relaxed policy, even though federal law hasn't changed. It's legal in my state and the current administration has announced they won't be pursuing user level Marijuana charges at the federal level.\nWake up.", ">\n\nUSACE still falls under the same policies as the rest of the army. They're treated as DA civilians, and subject to periodic biochemical testing and the resultant consequences if they pee hot. The army has, and will not in the foreseeable future, relax any policy regarding marijuana.", ">\n\nAdorable idea; wish they had hired someone better at photoshop", ">\n\nIts a free gag calendar that was probably just put together by someone for fun in their spare time. Considering the state of infrastructure in the US I don't imagine the Corps of Engineers has a lot of extra spending money to throw around", ">\n\nIf they were smart, they would print it for us and sell it. I don't want a crappy calender that I printed on regular paper, I want the real thing and I would be glad to pay for it.", ">\n\nGenius!! This needs to be a trend. Reddit, make it so...", ">\n\nfuck yeah we finally gonna balance the budget", ">\n\nDecember's hilarious. I want this calender.", ">\n\nYou can totally tell that this is not real. The lighting on the cats is so obviously different than the environmental mistake. Pathetic effort infrastructure geeks.", ">\n\nSo they can blame cats for shoddy workmanship and lax maintenance.", ">\n\nDon't capitalize \"Of\" in titles", ">\n\nWish they'd focus on not taking eight years to permit a fucking project, those lazy excuses for engineers.", ">\n\nYou’re crazy dude. These peeps have built some amazing things. Extremely impressive.", ">\n\nThey used to.", ">\n\n😂", ">\n\nThis whole absurd thing is exactly my sense of humour. LOVE it.", ">\n\nOregon! I've seen the one at Detroit Dam. Sneaky bugger. Hangs out with Bigfoot.", ">\n\nI need this", ">\n\nThat's some adorable terrorism right there.", ">\n\nI remember seeing them, on quad bikes, with a lot of equipment, on Myrtle Beach beaches, I always wondered what they were doing...", ">\n\nI love this sequel to Beginning of the End!", ">\n\nIs there a way I can buy a physical version?", ">\n\nThey're Demo-cats!", ">\n\nAny recommendations of the best way to get this printed semi-professionally? I tried checking Costco photo centre but they make you use a template.", ">\n\nOf course it’s Portland.", ">\n\nKind of disappointing I can't actually buy a printed one. My daughter would love this.", ">\n\nA pretty good idea for a poster. Who doesn't like cats being cats?", ">\n\nI really wish I had become a part of the ACOE but my mother didn't want her only son in the military.", ">\n\nUsace has civilian positions you're employed by the army, but you don't go through basic", ">\n\nI hope they pay more than Nidec.", ">\n\nThanks for sharing! Downloaded and got my new Lock Screen wallpaper.", ">\n\nDecember is 🔥", ">\n\nObligatory Cat Dynamics", ">\n\nPoliticians will say this is the proof of the REAL reason of why our infrastructure is deteriorating, then vote in a measure to hire their friends and family to counter this threat.", ">\n\nI didnt know cats were domestic terrorists like Republicans. lol", ">\n\nThis is the only kind of apocalypse I could see myself getting excited about.", ">\n\nAugust a missed opportunity to have CAT Excavators.", ">\n\nYou have my attention.", ">\n\nSmart move", ">\n\nGod help us.", ">\n\nBest thing to come out of the Army post WWII.", ">\n\n🤔", ">\n\n\"Let's write a two paragraph article about something freely available on the internet and make absolutely no attempt to actually tell you where to find it\".", ">\n\nCatjira!", ">\n\nhilarious!", ">\n\nFinally", ">\n\nThis is the oniony-est story I’ve seen on here in a while", ">\n\nCant wait for the next spending bill to include cat proofing our infrastructure", ">\n\nHonestly… I’d buy it.", ">\n\nWish I would have heard of that in November or so. This seems unique, fun and a great idea for a calendar.", ">\n\nI heard about this from Last Podcast on the Left, glad to see it pop up on my feed with pictures!", ">\n\nI'm gonna need an NSN For that...", ">\n\nOf course it’s the Portland District", ">\n\nHonestly this is worth buying", ">\n\nIm not a cat person, but I would buy the calendar.", ">\n\nAny way to view the album without losing my mind on that website? God it's shit on mobile.", ">\n\nI especially love how June just looks like a well framed optical illusion photo.", ">\n\nThis is cute and all, but man, it seems a little poor in taste that August is a kitty-shaped military drone blowing up an Iraqi preschool", ">\n\nWhat did Oregon do to deserve this", ">\n\nGee I read that and instantly I thought they had done a study and released an estimated calendar of when an where giant cats would attack infrastructure in 2023. Phew.", ">\n\nOn that day, humanity received a grim reminder…", ">\n\nah yes\nPortland keeping it weird again", ">\n\nit’s cute, but who wrote the copy?", ">\n\nAmazing", ">\n\neverything changed when the cat nation attacked", ">\n\nI'm into it", ">\n\nnow this is what I want my tax dollars going towards", ">\n\nI'd love to believe that there was some huge misunderstanding and somewhere someone had actually meant CATs like the company with the big heavy machinery", ">\n\nThe word \"attacking\" is doing a lot of work here", ">\n\nW", ">\n\nLook, I’m pretty anti-government, but this I can get behind", ">\n\nCattack on titan", ">\n\nI'm a civil engineer.\nI would fucking LOVE this.\nThis'll go good in my office next to my other engineering / math punny comics.\nLike this one.\nOr this one.\nOr, maybe this one.", ">\n\nThe Only well spent part of the military budget", ">\n\nI might buy it", ">\n\nWhat the fuck is that website", ">\n\nThis is great!", ">\n\nAugust is great.", ">\n\nNow the real MVP will tell us how to print this like an actual calendar.", ">\n\nThe only thing worthy of my tax dollars that the military has done this year.", ">\n\nOk, now we need a class II space laser pointer to distract the giant cats away from vital infrastructure.", ">\n\nThey all are so good. My favorite is May, then September.", ">\n\nOh... good.", ">\n\nThose paragraphs are hilarious.", ">\n\nNow THIS is news!", ">\n\nCatcatae", ">\n\nThey would, if they could.", ">\n\nOmg yes. Need.", ">\n\n\"attacking\" lol", ">\n\nThere’s a great Twitter user called Giant Military Cats or something like that where the user does much the same. \nSeems like a kind, lonely soul who revels in people thanking them. Give it a look", ">\n\nNot oniony, really… just awesome.", ">\n\nThis is what our tax dollars should be used for", ">\n\nThis is why shit takes forever to get built when the government is involved. Now it all make sense...", ">\n\nI love it, but the cats seemed poorly photoshopped in", ">\n\nThey're engineers, not graphic artists.", ">\n\nGotta normalize death and murder in any way possible. Next up, an E-sports tournament hosted by Army Recruiters! Complete with twitch ads and tik tok videos!", ">\n\nThis is the Army Corps of Engineers. They're more Bob the Builder than G.I. Joe.", ">\n\nThey literally hosted a twitch e sports tournament.", ">\n\nWas it City Skylines or Minecraft?", ">\n\nPainfully bad photoshop too…", ">\n\nHow about a calendar of captured MAGA white supremacist assholes who attacked critical infrastructure?", ">\n\nthis is what we get instead of universal healthcare?", ">\n\nSo I reckon the Corps of Engineers is now gonna blame a giant cat for their spectacular failures that led to loss of life during Hurricane Katrina.", ">\n\nWhy is this a thing lol", ">\n\nthey really could have done better, wow 3rd grader stuff here...", ">\n\nI assume they got 3/4 of the way through then ran out of budget, then made the contractor do the rest out of pocket to get paid.", ">\n\nwhen not signing off on pipelines against the desperate wishes of affected citizens they are actually quite charming.", ">\n\nThey would. Stupid usace are so full of themselves. Ooooh you're a scientist? I literally don't care. Go hand out fliers.", ">\n\nCould the armed forces and their adjacent groups stop trying to meme? It doesn't work.", ">\n\n“From the Producers that gave you the Katrina levee breaches…”", ">\n\nCorruption and NIMBY in Louisiana gave us levee breeches. The Army's design would have meant clearing blocks on either side of the levees to increase the base. Each section of levee is run by a local committee. NO ONE would vote to demolish their own homes so they got a functionally unsound levee system", ">\n\nThis is a great calendar and made me laugh! Except for............................. the written parts which could have been left out or just put on the back of the photo.", ">\n\nWhy is cat resolution so terrible? Or is it the focus?" ]

[ "Imagine the work order. \nYour boss comes to you and says, \"Hey, you're in charge of the cats calendar.\"\n\"What calendar?\"\n\"The one with cats attacking infrastructure?\"\n\"What?\"", ">\n\nyou miss ONE day...", ">\n\nHail Vectron!", ">\n\nBy Vectron!", ">\n\nFor those yet to experience the holy might of Vectron's kindly claw", ">\n\nThank you. I had no idea.", ">\n\nYou are most welcome by Vectron", ">\n\nFor the love of all that is Vectron, your speech warms my Vectronic heart.", ">\n\nMay Vectron’s beard shed its benevolence upon us. 🙏🏻🙏🏻", ">\n\nAnd may all of his correspondence to us be sent Vectronically. So it is written, so shall it be done.", ">\n\nI live in Oregon and started to recognize a bunch of the dams, so I was like, “huh, that’s kinda cool.” Then I saw the text at the bottom of the first page. Portland District. Now a cat calendar makes perfect sense.", ">\n\nSame thing happened to me. I think I'm going to head to kinko's and have them print it out for me.", ">\n\nTell them you need to print some important official military documents before you show them what it is", ">\n\nDon’t forget to tell them you need it right meow!", ">\n\nWho will protect our infrastructure from this menace?", ">\n\nAn array of laser pointers.", ">\n\ncut to giant laser pointer satellite", ">\n\nomigod the jewish space lasers were real", ">\n\n*meowish space lasers", ">\n\nHey that's racist", ">\n\nI think it would be cheaper to buy a calendar than use the ink/toner required to print it.", ">\n\nThat's why you print it at work.", ">\n\nhaha true, oh wait I work from home...", ">\n\nIf you print from home for work you can write printer supplies off on your taxes :)", ">\n\nUh yes boss I needed a calendar, so… oh what? Use the company one? Ummm but the US army has a really nice one and I thought I’d be patriotic - what? Oh, yeah I know we’re in Canada, I just…", ">\n\nPortland is pretty much wannabe Vancouver, BC. I say it goes!", ">\n\nExactly what a Canadian would say...", ">\n\nGoodies, goodie goodie, yum yum.", ">\n\nI just scrolled until I found The Goodies reference but was wondering if I was going to find one at all.", ">\n\nIt's way down the list, isn't it? \n/knees hurt.", ">\n\nOw, my back! Get off my lawn!", ">\n\nOne engineer did it in his free time, and released it for use through the corps. \nThis was NOT government funded.", ">\n\nEven if it was government funded, I support this.", ">\n\nEven if it was government funded it would've been like maybe one day of pay at most? Not a ton for the amount of publicity they'll get that might make them even more money.", ">\n\nAssuming they already have the infrastructure pictures I would be surprised if it took more than 4 work hours. Also for chronically underfunded agencies that kind of PR is exactly how you get voters to convince the politicians to increase funds. I look forward to NASA figuring out how to photoshop giant cats playing with the planets like balls of yarn for their calendar", ">\n\n\nI look forward to NASA figuring out how to photoshop giant cats playing with the planets like balls of yarn for their calendar \n\nWell let me introduce you to the most bizarre social media messaging from an official U.S. government agency: The U.S. Consumer Product Safety Commission's Instagram feed. \nAnd before I catch any \"there's no way this is real\" replies, here's the Washington Post covering it: \n\nHow a federal bureaucrat uses astronaut babies and dogs riding pigeons to try to save your life", ">\n\nThis is rad!", ">\n\nCISA losing their shit rn", ">\n\nI would like one.", ">\n\nIt's a free PDF.", ">\n\nNo he would like one of the cats", ">\n\nyOu wOuLdN'T DoWnloAd a cAT", ">\n\nI can’t believe they included Sherlock getting knocked off a cliff. At least he didn’t jump this time.", ">\n\nI'm shocked that you're the only person I've seen comment on this so far! it's hilarious", ">\n\n\"Every year, dozens of cats attack important infrastructure for our country causing dozens of dollars of damage. Won't you help?\"", ">\n\nI heard this with Sarah McLoughlin's voice", ">\n\nArmy Cats", ">\n\nNow do it with pictures of our crumbling infrastructure.", ">\n\nThis seems like one of those things that is somehow going to age poorly given our Universe's current sense of irony. I don't know how exactly, but there's going to be some mass tragedy involving cats and a suspension bridge or something this year.", ">\n\nThe first image kind of reads like \"this infrastructure is super important so don't damage it\". The calendar almost seems like a shopping list for domestic terrorists or something lol.", ">\n\nI mean, pretty obvious that dams, substations, bridges and the like are good targets for chaos. Google maps gives you all this plus Police stations and everything, with photos and the address. Useless to worry about it", ">\n\nSeriously, anyone who unironicly think terrorists were waiting for a cat calendar to list a bunch of locations to bomb is paranoid about the wrong things.", ">\n\nCats would hunt and eat us if they were bigger than us", ">\n\nThey already do, they are called Tigers.", ">\n\nIf there were smaller tigers, we would keep them as pets, but they'd break all our stuff to prove they're still in charge.", ">\n\nThey already do, they are called Cats.", ">\n\nOH MY GOD!", ">\n\nMy tabby is a cute little tiger", ">\n\nI knew we had infrastructure challenges, but I didn't realize we were facing an infrastructure cat-astrophe!", ">\n\nTake my r/angryupvote", ">\n\nI love how shitty the photoshop is. Really ties it all together", ">\n\nYeah I like the idea--but the pictures chosen and color grading are all off. I'd like this idea better executed more professionally.", ">\n\nOh no I'm serious. The unprofessionalism is the best part. I would absolutely pay money for this", ">\n\nOnly only thing weirder is gonna be their crazy ass plan to save the infrastructure.", ">\n\nIt's the engineer Corp, they can build giant cat carriers.", ">\n\nI guess anything beats the 40 million they spend on viagra to keep the soldiers saluting.", ">\n\nThis is delightful", ">\n\ni was imagining mountain lions breaking in to dumpsters or something, not giant house cats gnawing on substations, not disappointed.", ">\n\nI don’t need a calendar now that our pocket rectangles handle all of that for us, but I really want this calendar.", ">\n\nIt is really convenient to just walk by my schedule versus having to pull it up, scroll, click and expand. I tend to forget about things if I don’t see it in front of me, but that’s just how my brain works. Plus if you’re on the phone trying to schedule something it’s nice to write it out too.", ">\n\nI'm sorry, we're already booked for giant spiders.", ">\n\nI personally kinda love this.", ">\n\nBest use of a miniscule amount of our tax dollars in the entire US $1.7T budget. US Army Corp wins the internet today!", ">\n\nHonestly, the entire army corps of engineers may be one of highest rates of return on public good vs funding", ">\n\nSeriously. They do a shit ton of quality and important public work on a relatively shoe-string budget for engineering. I have a lot of respect for the people that work at the USACOE.", ">\n\nSeptember, now that one is art", ">\n\nHaters will say it's Photoshop.", ">\n\nThey’ve never seen Catzilla.", ">\n\nHero of the Week! Hail yourself!", ">\n\nThere it is!", ">\n\n\nThe Army Corps Of Engineers Has Released a 2023 Calendar Of Giant Cats Attacking <\n\nr/brand new sentence \nAlso, giant cats attacking infrastructure is so 2020. In 2023 it just sounds silly.", ">\n\nSeptember ❤️", ">\n\nOmg. I love this. Especially the text blurbs on the pictures. Very funny and adorable!", ">\n\nSounds like they understand cats are required if you want social media traction", ">\n\nI have never wanted to buy a calendar more than I do now!", ">\n\nOn the one hand, I applaud the idea.\nOn the other hand, the photoshop skills look like they came from the army corps of engineers.", ">\n\nWould you actually want them to look like they were perfectly matched to each environment? I'm pretty sure the comedic effect is all that matters here.\nAnd besides, it was just one engineer that created this on their spare time, rather than an official ACE production.", ">\n\nI was mainly being a bit snarky because the internet. That, and what I said was objectively true.", ">\n\nCan confirm, the Corps of Engineers fuckkkkks", ">\n\nGoddammit I just bought my 2023 calendar too lol", ">\n\nThat’s cute though, not worrisome like a lot of other r/nottheonion posts.", ">\n\nAs ever, the Army Corps of Engineers are the one branch of the US state that can get the important shit done", ">\n\nFrom the comments ITT it's evident that most people are unaware of how important they are to the lives of the majority of productive people in this country (people who live near a coastline or a major body of water). It's not just dams and rivers, it's the actual physical coastline of america that they look after.", ">\n\nYup, it seems double edged- people think oh, they're the army corps and assumes they must be doing only military stuff. But equally if it was civilianised no doubt it'd be a target for cuts. An incredible org, regardless. And whether it's cats or weather or warming or the collapse of neglected infrastructure they're going to get more and more important so it's a damn good thing they exist because in 2023, nobody would invent them...", ">\n\nUSACE is an agency that is funded by the DOD but is vastly ran by civilians. There are very few enlisted or commissioned people in the army corps.", ">\n\nOK this is a thing and this is awesome", ">\n\nOops, I had \"Zombie Redneck Torture Family\" in the betting pool.", ">\n\nGrumble. Never gonna see a merman...", ">\n\nUSACE Portland District is one of the absolute best public sector social media presences out there. Seriously. Check it out.", ">\n\nCats in military pictures is an entire IG channel", ">\n\nGood boot", ">\n\nCommand team must be TDY", ">\n\nThat was even better than the title made me think it would be.", ">\n\nI support my tax dollars going to causes such as this.", ">\n\nFinally tax dollars doing something good", ">\n\nI’m kind of disappointed. From the title, I thought there would be photos of actual big cats attacking infrastructure, not photoshopped domestic cats. Anyone have a photo of a puma going after an electrical substation? Or a tiger gnawing on a water line?", ">\n\nNo. No one has that. Would be very interesting though to compile a calendar like that. Peace brother.", ">\n\nGreat, now I need a color printer.\nSeriously, thank you u/radioman8414!", ">\n\nThis is how I want my tax money spent. Downloaded and put up in my office!", ">\n\nThe regional social media guy who put this together is constantly hilarious", ">\n\nGreatest calendar of 2023.", ">\n\nI need one of these for my office! I've worked on some of these dams!", ">\n\nCan I ask you some dam questions?? I’m sure you know a lot of dam information. I’m sure all of us would love some dam stories. Thank you.", ">\n\nSure way to have a more interesting calendar than just infrastructure.", ">\n\nI would so adopt one if they existed.", ">\n\nI've heard army corps of engineers are very difficult to house train. May want to consider before adopting one.", ">\n\nTouché.", ">\n\nThat's amazing, thank you for posting it!", ">\n\nIs there anywhere to buy a nice physical copy of the calendar?", ">\n\nThose cats are mind-controlled by taxoplasmosis alien ameobas!", ">\n\nI was thinking this was gonna be mountain lions taking out maintenance huts or something like that. This is so much better", ">\n\nI’m the daughter of a former Portland, Oregon, US Army Corps Engineer, and I can confirm they are a strange crew. It makes me view the dams on the Columbia River fondly?", ">\n\nI love this so much.", ">\n\nDude. Awesome.", ">\n\nI love this! My astronomy teacher once did a talk on space cats. It was hysterical. Out of the blue he showed us pictures of space with cats added in. He felt we needed a fun class for laughs. I want this calendar.", ">\n\nThis would be really cool if they got a decent digital artist. But they didn't, they used photoshop about as well as I can.", ">\n\nI think that adds to the charm", ">\n\nDon't even need to see it, where can I buy it", ">\n\nFrom the link - \"Because the Army Corps is a Government Agency, the calendar is in public domain and totally free to download and print\"", ">\n\nThis is so funny, because it’s my Dad’s old workplace (from 1971 until he retired). My father, however, has zero sense of humor so he’d never work on something like this.", ">\n\nI met a guy from the Army Corps of Engineers when I worked for the EPA. Smartest guy I've ever met and the 2nd most hippe like person I've ever met. I'd like to think he had something to do with this idea.", ">\n\nFinally the massive military budget of the US is put to good use.", ">\n\nThis is awesome. I might have to buy one.", ">\n\nNo need. It's free, though you have to print it yourself if you want a physical copy", ">\n\nThis is so adorable! I approve wholeheartedly.", ">\n\nIt's about time.", ">\n\nSappers lead the way", ">\n\nI have so much love for this.", ">\n\nEhisssayons.", ">\n\nLove it.", ">\n\nUnintended benefits of relaxed Marijuana policies :)", ">\n\nUsace has not relaxed cannabis policies. No federal agency has", ">\n\nThey certainly have relaxed policy, even though federal law hasn't changed. It's legal in my state and the current administration has announced they won't be pursuing user level Marijuana charges at the federal level.\nWake up.", ">\n\nUSACE still falls under the same policies as the rest of the army. They're treated as DA civilians, and subject to periodic biochemical testing and the resultant consequences if they pee hot. The army has, and will not in the foreseeable future, relax any policy regarding marijuana.", ">\n\nAdorable idea; wish they had hired someone better at photoshop", ">\n\nIts a free gag calendar that was probably just put together by someone for fun in their spare time. Considering the state of infrastructure in the US I don't imagine the Corps of Engineers has a lot of extra spending money to throw around", ">\n\nIf they were smart, they would print it for us and sell it. I don't want a crappy calender that I printed on regular paper, I want the real thing and I would be glad to pay for it.", ">\n\nGenius!! This needs to be a trend. Reddit, make it so...", ">\n\nfuck yeah we finally gonna balance the budget", ">\n\nDecember's hilarious. I want this calender.", ">\n\nYou can totally tell that this is not real. The lighting on the cats is so obviously different than the environmental mistake. Pathetic effort infrastructure geeks.", ">\n\nSo they can blame cats for shoddy workmanship and lax maintenance.", ">\n\nDon't capitalize \"Of\" in titles", ">\n\nWish they'd focus on not taking eight years to permit a fucking project, those lazy excuses for engineers.", ">\n\nYou’re crazy dude. These peeps have built some amazing things. Extremely impressive.", ">\n\nThey used to.", ">\n\n😂", ">\n\nThis whole absurd thing is exactly my sense of humour. LOVE it.", ">\n\nOregon! I've seen the one at Detroit Dam. Sneaky bugger. Hangs out with Bigfoot.", ">\n\nI need this", ">\n\nThat's some adorable terrorism right there.", ">\n\nI remember seeing them, on quad bikes, with a lot of equipment, on Myrtle Beach beaches, I always wondered what they were doing...", ">\n\nI love this sequel to Beginning of the End!", ">\n\nIs there a way I can buy a physical version?", ">\n\nThey're Demo-cats!", ">\n\nAny recommendations of the best way to get this printed semi-professionally? I tried checking Costco photo centre but they make you use a template.", ">\n\nOf course it’s Portland.", ">\n\nKind of disappointing I can't actually buy a printed one. My daughter would love this.", ">\n\nA pretty good idea for a poster. Who doesn't like cats being cats?", ">\n\nI really wish I had become a part of the ACOE but my mother didn't want her only son in the military.", ">\n\nUsace has civilian positions you're employed by the army, but you don't go through basic", ">\n\nI hope they pay more than Nidec.", ">\n\nThanks for sharing! Downloaded and got my new Lock Screen wallpaper.", ">\n\nDecember is 🔥", ">\n\nObligatory Cat Dynamics", ">\n\nPoliticians will say this is the proof of the REAL reason of why our infrastructure is deteriorating, then vote in a measure to hire their friends and family to counter this threat.", ">\n\nI didnt know cats were domestic terrorists like Republicans. lol", ">\n\nThis is the only kind of apocalypse I could see myself getting excited about.", ">\n\nAugust a missed opportunity to have CAT Excavators.", ">\n\nYou have my attention.", ">\n\nSmart move", ">\n\nGod help us.", ">\n\nBest thing to come out of the Army post WWII.", ">\n\n🤔", ">\n\n\"Let's write a two paragraph article about something freely available on the internet and make absolutely no attempt to actually tell you where to find it\".", ">\n\nCatjira!", ">\n\nhilarious!", ">\n\nFinally", ">\n\nThis is the oniony-est story I’ve seen on here in a while", ">\n\nCant wait for the next spending bill to include cat proofing our infrastructure", ">\n\nHonestly… I’d buy it.", ">\n\nWish I would have heard of that in November or so. This seems unique, fun and a great idea for a calendar.", ">\n\nI heard about this from Last Podcast on the Left, glad to see it pop up on my feed with pictures!", ">\n\nI'm gonna need an NSN For that...", ">\n\nOf course it’s the Portland District", ">\n\nHonestly this is worth buying", ">\n\nIm not a cat person, but I would buy the calendar.", ">\n\nAny way to view the album without losing my mind on that website? God it's shit on mobile.", ">\n\nI especially love how June just looks like a well framed optical illusion photo.", ">\n\nThis is cute and all, but man, it seems a little poor in taste that August is a kitty-shaped military drone blowing up an Iraqi preschool", ">\n\nWhat did Oregon do to deserve this", ">\n\nGee I read that and instantly I thought they had done a study and released an estimated calendar of when an where giant cats would attack infrastructure in 2023. Phew.", ">\n\nOn that day, humanity received a grim reminder…", ">\n\nah yes\nPortland keeping it weird again", ">\n\nit’s cute, but who wrote the copy?", ">\n\nAmazing", ">\n\neverything changed when the cat nation attacked", ">\n\nI'm into it", ">\n\nnow this is what I want my tax dollars going towards", ">\n\nI'd love to believe that there was some huge misunderstanding and somewhere someone had actually meant CATs like the company with the big heavy machinery", ">\n\nThe word \"attacking\" is doing a lot of work here", ">\n\nW", ">\n\nLook, I’m pretty anti-government, but this I can get behind", ">\n\nCattack on titan", ">\n\nI'm a civil engineer.\nI would fucking LOVE this.\nThis'll go good in my office next to my other engineering / math punny comics.\nLike this one.\nOr this one.\nOr, maybe this one.", ">\n\nThe Only well spent part of the military budget", ">\n\nI might buy it", ">\n\nWhat the fuck is that website", ">\n\nThis is great!", ">\n\nAugust is great.", ">\n\nNow the real MVP will tell us how to print this like an actual calendar.", ">\n\nThe only thing worthy of my tax dollars that the military has done this year.", ">\n\nOk, now we need a class II space laser pointer to distract the giant cats away from vital infrastructure.", ">\n\nThey all are so good. My favorite is May, then September.", ">\n\nOh... good.", ">\n\nThose paragraphs are hilarious.", ">\n\nNow THIS is news!", ">\n\nCatcatae", ">\n\nThey would, if they could.", ">\n\nOmg yes. Need.", ">\n\n\"attacking\" lol", ">\n\nThere’s a great Twitter user called Giant Military Cats or something like that where the user does much the same. \nSeems like a kind, lonely soul who revels in people thanking them. Give it a look", ">\n\nNot oniony, really… just awesome.", ">\n\nThis is what our tax dollars should be used for", ">\n\nThis is why shit takes forever to get built when the government is involved. Now it all make sense...", ">\n\nI love it, but the cats seemed poorly photoshopped in", ">\n\nThey're engineers, not graphic artists.", ">\n\nGotta normalize death and murder in any way possible. Next up, an E-sports tournament hosted by Army Recruiters! Complete with twitch ads and tik tok videos!", ">\n\nThis is the Army Corps of Engineers. They're more Bob the Builder than G.I. Joe.", ">\n\nThey literally hosted a twitch e sports tournament.", ">\n\nWas it City Skylines or Minecraft?", ">\n\nPainfully bad photoshop too…", ">\n\nHow about a calendar of captured MAGA white supremacist assholes who attacked critical infrastructure?", ">\n\nthis is what we get instead of universal healthcare?", ">\n\nSo I reckon the Corps of Engineers is now gonna blame a giant cat for their spectacular failures that led to loss of life during Hurricane Katrina.", ">\n\nWhy is this a thing lol", ">\n\nthey really could have done better, wow 3rd grader stuff here...", ">\n\nI assume they got 3/4 of the way through then ran out of budget, then made the contractor do the rest out of pocket to get paid.", ">\n\nwhen not signing off on pipelines against the desperate wishes of affected citizens they are actually quite charming.", ">\n\nThey would. Stupid usace are so full of themselves. Ooooh you're a scientist? I literally don't care. Go hand out fliers.", ">\n\nCould the armed forces and their adjacent groups stop trying to meme? It doesn't work.", ">\n\n“From the Producers that gave you the Katrina levee breaches…”", ">\n\nCorruption and NIMBY in Louisiana gave us levee breeches. The Army's design would have meant clearing blocks on either side of the levees to increase the base. Each section of levee is run by a local committee. NO ONE would vote to demolish their own homes so they got a functionally unsound levee system", ">\n\nThis is a great calendar and made me laugh! Except for............................. the written parts which could have been left out or just put on the back of the photo.", ">\n\nWhy is cat resolution so terrible? Or is it the focus?", ">\n\nThe largest federal infrastructure spending plan ever proposed, so the one that was several trillions of dollars more than the one that actually ended up passing, identified 173,000 miles of roadway already in poor condition. The bill would only have modernized 20,000 of those miles, and that would take a decade in which time the backlog of maintenance would be even bigger.\nThe same with bridges. Our leadership identified 45,000 bridges already in a state of disrepair. Over a decade, they would fix only 10,000 of them. That’s all." ]

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[ "There's nothing on the planet that isn't currently threatened with extinction, but we keep talking about individual animals like they matter." ]

[ "There's nothing on the planet that isn't currently threatened with extinction, but we keep talking about individual animals like they matter.", ">\n\nYou've said nothing wrong. Don't let the downvotes impress upon you.\nYou just didn't say your words in a way that the common person understands, making them think you were being cold.\nYou would've been better received if you had said: \"either we start treating all life as valuable or none of these individual species will have any importance because we will all be dead.\"\nThey would have loved your comment. But instead they're bashing you for saying the same thing in a way that they don't like. Don't take it personally. Reddit passersby are often given the chance to be petty, sometimes they take advantage of it." ]

[ "There's nothing on the planet that isn't currently threatened with extinction, but we keep talking about individual animals like they matter.", ">\n\nYou've said nothing wrong. Don't let the downvotes impress upon you.\nYou just didn't say your words in a way that the common person understands, making them think you were being cold.\nYou would've been better received if you had said: \"either we start treating all life as valuable or none of these individual species will have any importance because we will all be dead.\"\nThey would have loved your comment. But instead they're bashing you for saying the same thing in a way that they don't like. Don't take it personally. Reddit passersby are often given the chance to be petty, sometimes they take advantage of it.", ">\n\nI’m autistic and this sums up so much of my anxiety about public speaking" ]

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