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SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Fiancee [F22] and I [MTF22] have a major problem with our room mate [F21]
POST: So, my mother Suzy [F55] got in a pretty serious car crash, and shattered her back, and I [MTF22], as well as my fiancee of four years [F22], have to stay with her for about two months while she convalesces.
We rent a bedroom from our pseudofriend of two years, Jill [F21]. Jill can be rather aggressive at times, is terrible with money, and is generally kind of unintelligent, in addition to expecting us to assist her with her job as a paper carrier, for no pay.
Jill demands that we pay her the full amount of our rent while staying with my mother, although she makes nearly twice my level of income, and most of our things are currently not in the apartment. Annoying, but not necessarily a problem.
The problem lies in the fact that tonight, when we stopped by the house to get some of our clothes, and found a family of three living in our room, their clothes in trash bags on our bed. Without our knowledge. While we are still paying rent for said room.
_____________________________
TL;DR: | Our room mate is taking advantage of our shitty situation by renting out our room and getting double rent. We are moving. |
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU by putting a letter in my pocket
POST: Kids this is why you do stuff immediately! Never put things off for later.
So I been going to events for Rush week on campus because I was trying to join this pre-medical fraternity available in my school. I was informed of the fraternity by a friend of mine who was already a part of it and told me to go to meetings. I went through hell and back trying to find professional attire for the mixer and the interview i had scheduled with them this past friday. I also had to fight my social anxiety while being at that mixer by talker to random strangers( i didnt show it while becoming aquainted with the members of the frat, but on the inside i was dying). On the day of my interview i went early and was called in and made it through it fairly well.
That same night, i get a call from my friend who originally informed me about the frat to meet him outside in the quad near where i dorm. He congratulates me and hands me a letter with my acceptance to pledge for the quarter and we parted ways.
Now here is where i fucked up. The letter stated that i had to confirm my acceptance with them in order to recieve further info by calling the number listed, before 2am of today....the 19th, about 18 or so hours ago.....I had stuck the letter in my pocket and told myself i would call in a bit due to having to attend other matters at hand. Threw my pants in the laundry bag and it fell out about an hour ago as i was getting ready to do laundry. I HAD COMPLETELY FORGOTTEN ABOUT IT. Just flew over my head like it was something non-important or something even though i made the biggest effort in my life to join.
all day today, i could have called, maybe cleared something up with them, explain to them what happen, but i realized why the timing to confirm was so odd. The fraternity left to a group vacation this holiday weekend and 2am was the time they left to drive down to their lodge or cabin or whatever the hell they are staying......shit..
TL;DR: | Went through anixety hell all week to join a pre-med frat, got the acceptance letter, forgot to call to confirm, too late now T_T |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [32M] with my SO [30F] of 5 months, how to not let insecurity of past relationship ruin this one
POST: I've been seeing this great girl for the past 5 months. Everything has been amazing, way better than I thought a relationship could be. We both feel like we reciprocate and can't seem to get enough of each other. I see great things for our future.
However.
My past big relationship of 4 years ended with my ex cheating on me. We don't have to get into the details, but basically I think I ignored red flags I shouldn't have for the sake of denial and wanting it to work out. It hit me like a ton of bricks and I spent 3 years just working on myself. I thought I was completely secure in myself and had no issues being alone for as long as it took.
This new girl is head of heels for me and I her, she brags about me to her friends and family and has given me no reason to think she would be unfaithful. However, when we're not together, I can't help but allow crazy thoughts of infidelity creep into my mind. It causes me to push a little too much and I don't want to push her away. If she doesn't text me back as quickly as I'd like especially it gets me a little crazy.
My logical mind knows this is crazy but my emotions take over. I haven't done anything yet to really cause an issue but inside it *sometimes* eats at me. I want to communicate with her everything but at the same time I don't want to come off as needy/insecure. I'm at a bit of a quandary here. Does anyone have any advice? When were together everything is fine, I even realize how crazy my thoughts can be and say to myself, next time you're alone, don't let the bad thoughts take over. But they do. I want to respect her space and mine, and I don't want to NEED her as much as it seems I do. I need help.
I feel like I'm at the point where I haven't done any damage but I also feel like if I don't fix this problem soon the deeper we get the worse the fears and insecurities will get.
TL;DR: | I was cheated on in my last relationship and want to not let the insecurity and bad feelings ruin the potential of this new, great, better relationship. |
SUBREDDIT: r/self
TITLE: Some people (redditors)
POST: Was at work today (I work as a server/bartender) when a younger guy came in and proceeded to threaten, harass, insult, and attempt to start a bar fight with everyone in there.
Given it was a slow night and we had started closing so it was down to just the staff and a few patrons but every time he said something he'd proceed to use "Its ok I'm a redditor" to hope all feelings of hostility would be removed.
Some quick quotes of why I'm annoyed:
"If this homo walks behind me one more time I'm going to shove this beer up his ass."
"Hitler's regime started because people like you wouldn't stop working to drink with me"
"You have two options here. Come to the bathroom with me so I can fuck you up privately or come outside with me so I can fuck you up publicly"
"The funny thing is I have a helicopter searching for me right now"
"Any time now a bunch of homophobes are going to be coming in here and starting shit. Let's just give them the gay as a sacrifice."
"That bartender has a great rack. I wish I could take the rack home with me. But she said no. So maybe you have a tazer we could use"
"If you try to run away I'm going to start shooting"
Given the guy was obviously just drunk and upset about something. But if you heard someone say all of these things then follow every line up with "Its O.k. I'm a redditor its just a joke" wouldn't you be upset?
TL;DR: | Douche insulted about a dozen people. Used "I'm a redditor" to explain why he's a douche. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [25 F] with my BF [26 M] of a few months, is it okay to continue to tell him I love him even though he hasn't said it back?
POST: I've been dating this guy for a few months. I'm pretty far gone, head
over heels in love with him and have been for some time. I've told
him so and it's always been awkward. He's kind about it, but does
not reciprocate the sentiment. Sometimes I feel like I should NEVER
say it again until he says it back and other times I wonder if it's
wrong to suppress the truth of how I feel, regardless if it is
reciprocated or not? I don't want to keep saying it and have him
freak out and back off but I also hate feeling the words on the tip of
my tongue and not being able to say them. Advice/input appreciated.
TL;DR: | I'm in love with my BF, he does not say "I love you" back. Should I never say it again until he does? |
SUBREDDIT: r/dating_advice
TITLE: 25F dating 22M, he never pays. I'm a feminist, it's 2014. Why do I care? Advice needed. (x-post /r/dating.)
POST: I have been dating this guy for about a month. Before this we were friends and hung out in the same friend group for about a year before it became obvious I liked him more than friends.
It was me who asked him out. He is super introverted and during the time I've known him I have never seen him with a girl neither have any of our mutual friends and he's only ever had one girlfriend that anyone knows of.
Since that first date we have been hanging out twice a week and every time it's fun and adventurous and awesome. We have kissed but not had sex.
My problem is something that shouldn't be a problem for me because I'm a feminist and grew up liberal and it's 2014 and I'm not from the South so WTF brain...
He never pays for dates or even tries. All of the guys I have dated at least paid for the first date or if they were broke (we make the same amount of money and both in uni) they would at least make me dinner at some point or pay for coffee. I know it's only been a month but we have gone out to eat together at least 5 times and nothing.
Maybe relevant info: When it's time to pay for whatever I never leave it hanging and just say "separate!" if the waitress asks because I'm like that and don't want him to think I expect it so I'm not really leaving him an opportunity BUT most guys would intervene and insist on paying at least once.
Why do I care about this? The dynamic is perfect and there's not doubt in my mind we are on the same wavelength emotionally.
I can't talk to my friends about this because they are also friends with him and I'm actually ashamed to feel this way. I want equality in a potential relationship and would be equally bothered if he insisted on paying every time...
TL;DR: | I'm a feminist but it still bothers me a little bit that my new guy never offers to pay for me on dates. Please help me make sense of this /r/dating! |
SUBREDDIT: r/personalfinance
TITLE: Negotiating a Raise w/Promotion
POST: Hey everyone. Hopefully you can help some on my situation. I'm currently making $71k which is the result of two off-cycle pay raises and a large (for my company) annual pay raise. A couple of years ago I told my manager I thought I was being underpaid and I am grateful that my company got me to where I currently am (which is right below median salary for my position in my area).
I'm probably going to be interviewing for an internal promotion in the next few weeks and should be in the best position to get it (there will probably be 2-4 other applicants from my dept, though). I've spoken with some people who have had the same promotion, though, and the raise they received for that promotion was ~3%. To me, that's an insulting raise for the extra responsibilities. The median for the new position is $87k with the lower quartile being $77k.
I guess my question is: how hard to I push for a bigger raise? I'm concerned because there is precedent set for the low raises, there will be several other applicants for this position, and they've gone "above and beyond" to raise my salary recently (even if that's only to get me to average). Any feedback here would be greatly appreciated! Thanks!
TL;DR: | How hard to I push for a bigger raise for an internal promotion when there will be several other applicants and I've received two off cycle pay raises in the past two years? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [23 M] with my GF [20 F] for 4 years, i think she loves another guy, thinking of dumping her
POST: Well, i think i should start with description of both us: me, 23M, still loving her. She, 20F, says that she loves me "but my love is not that strong".
She met a 16(!)M, says that she does not love him, but he is attractive to her (she confessed me that several times she wanted to kiss him while they was hanging out tete-a-tete)
Also, there is tons of red flags - our private meetings are passing in complete boredom on her side - and effort to cheer her up on my side.
Every time we hang out in company she seems bored if only that guy is near her - she laughs on his jokes, looks at him, several times touched his hair, knee, and on that time i was holding her shoulder / hand.
She gets mad at me more often now, it happens for 3 days now - one after another - and always ends in her tears.
She tried to ignore that guy several times, but she is always returning to him - and her words is "i dont want to hurt him", although it really hurts me.
Also, trust issues from both our sides is real - from my side because she several times told me that she wants to be alone (feeling sick and that she will stay home today) and i/my friends see her with that guy, and from her side because i several times checked her facebook and told her about it.
I'm 70% sure that there was no cuckoldry(is that a word) from her side, just the mental cuckoldry is happening.
What should i do? Believe her words like "i'm sorry that i've broke your heart, i wanna heal it" and try once more or just dump her?
TL;DR: | 4 years GF seems like emotional cuckoldry, today-tomorrow i'm thinking of breaking up with her. |
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU by playing with my bus card inside bus
POST: So this happened yesterday, I was on my way back from school, in the public bus. There's a bus card system where in you tap your card on to the machine and get in the bus.
So I do that, and take a seat, and now that my phone has no charge, I'm sitting idly since I've nothing to do. In all this boredom I start to take my bus card and keep swiping it on the glass (no windows, the top of the bus is entirely covered with glass), sometimes blocking the sunlight from my eye (It was kind of fun?), suddenly my finger slips and I loose grip on my card. Normally, there is a plastic extension below the glass (at my elbow level) where people keep their hands while sitting, so, logically it should "fall" there and shouldn't be much of a deal. Turns out there was this small cavity between the plastic extension and the glass. Whoosh, fate had it. My card went between the glass and the plastic. And no way to remove it (That thing was fitted with six screws).
The lady behind me starts giggling, not much of a problem for me, but what I begin to worry about is if somebody asks me for my bus card (random checks happen once in a while): "Uh, sir, I was playing with my bus card and it fell in there". Thankfully got out, but the card didn't.
TL;DR: | Got into a bus, played with the bus card, bus card got into a cavity between the glass and the seat. Was really worried about a random check. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Am I (20m) a psychopath? Or is it something else?
POST: I've been feeling very strange lately. I'm getting older and people around me are dying. And I don't care. My girlfriends grandpa just died and I met him and I liked him... But I don't feel anything. Am I sad? Sure... I guess? But not really sad. The last time I cried over death was when my hamster died when I was 10. I've cried for other reasons since then, but all of the reasons where selfish reasons. I haven't cried about my grandmothers death, great grandmothers death, or any other deaths. When I think about everyone in my life dying I honestly don't care. The only person that seems to trigger any sort of major emotional response is the death of my sister who I'm not even that close to.
Me being desensitized to what seems to be everything has started recently though. I don't care what anyone thinks of me. I find lying about big things very easy. I sometimes do things deliberately opposite of what people want just so they don't get what they want. This is weird, because I used to be very kind and considerate to everyone and now I just don't give two shits.
The weirdest thing is this all started with me having this weird dream where I was holding my gf on the wall and choking her while she was screaming and I was happy about it (keep in mind when I had this dream she was the love of my life, now Things have changed) Then a few weeks later I had dreams that I was murdering people out of anger. People I don't even know. This dreams don't come often, but I would say they are frequent enough to call them "reoccurring"
I just don't care about anyone anymore and I don't know why! It's ruining my relationships with everyone which is really fucking my life up. What's wrong with me!
TL;DR: | I feel like I'm going crazy because I've never felt bad about death and now I'm becoming emotionally raw for no apparent reason. Please help |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Having trouble making a huge life/career decision. What is a difficult decision you have made and how did you make it?
POST: Basically, today or tomorrow I need to make the decision of whether or not to attend medical school this fall. I deferred my acceptance last year because I genuinely enjoyed my job that I have been working at the past year. I recently received a promotion and raise, but this job is definitely not what I want to do for the rest of my life. Regardless, it is making the decision much more difficult.
My undergraduate degree is in political science and that is where I think my true passions lie, but at the same time I am also interested in medicine and healthcare. If I do not attend medical school, I plan to apply to law/business/other masters programs.
The stress of this decision is consuming me and I no longer feel I have interest or passion in any field. Losing the respect and honor that accompanies being a doctor is difficult for me to let go of, as well as what people will think of me if I do not attend, combined with having to live with regret. On the other hand, I don't have any interest in science and can see myself being abnormally miserable in medical school. Also, the time commitment of 7+ years is incredibly daunting.
As the stres is mounting, my judgement become more and more cloudy. I realize this isn't the worst decision anyone has ever had to make, so that is why I am asking you, Reddit, have you had to make a difficult life or career decision? And how did you make the decision?
TL;DR: | Can't decide whether to go to medical or pursue another career more suited to my interests. What is a difficult decision you have made and how did you make it? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I (M21) want a relationship with a girl (F19) who is scared of commitment. And I'm begging for help.
POST: Like I said I need help. I've been talking to this girl for the summer. I feel as if she is out of my league and I'm truly blessed to have her.
The problem is that she is leaving for school on the 21st (about 3 hours away). Basically she is scared of commitment and doesn't want a boyfriend. Everything is good between us and that's what doesn't make sense. The sex is good. We are into the same things. We make each other happy.
She has never had a boyfriend and I think that is the problem. I think she is just scared. She doesn't know how it feels to be loved. And she isn't the type of girl to go out and have a bunch of one night stands so I don't think that's the problem with the whole commitment thing. She's stated multiple times that I did everything right and that if she did want a boyfriend I would be the one for her. She even told me the classic "its not you its me" line.
What can I do to make her think about it. How can I change her mind about the whole boyfriend thing? She's trying to fix what isn't broken and it's killing me. I'm crazy about this girl. What can I do, if anything?
TL;DR: | girl is scared of commitment and doesn't know how it feels to be in a relationship and I want to be with her. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Is it illegal for a person to view a full copyrighted video on Youtube prior it being removed due to a takedown notice?
POST: Any law nerds around?
Please do not turn this into a thread on the morality of copyright infringement. That horse has been beaten into a pulp around here.
I believe sites like youtube, grooveshark, etc do not have to police their own networks. So if they receive a takedown notice from copyright holders for content that their users upload, they must comply. Which of course, they do.
However, prior to content being removed, is there anything illegal (meaning active laws) about a person consuming the content while it is still available?
To be clear, the person is only downloading (streaming) the content and did not upload it to youtube themselves.
If you have information on this subject, please provide links to sources. I'm genuinely interested in this.
TL;DR: | If you are only downloading (streaming) copyrighted content and never uploading (distributing), are you breaking any laws? |
SUBREDDIT: r/legaladvice
TITLE: Unpaid vacation. Left of good terms. Missouri.
POST: Now I know Missouri and alot of states aren't required to pay out vacation. But if the director of operations guarantees to me personally that my vacation will be paid out, and I signed an employee handbook that states in there if I put in proper two week notice and work my full two weeks before leaving that my vacation will be cashed out. Do I have a legal basis to take legal action against them?
They also owe me a week of pay, which worst comes to worst I will get in contact with the labor department to investigate. So that im no so much concerned about. This company is notorious for fucking people over and just in general being shitty. So I would actually rather enjoy taking legal action against them. Even if it ends up costing me more than I would ever receive.
Now I am in contact with them and it sounds like they are taking care of everything. But from what I can tell I think they are just hoping I will forget about it. Or mark it up as a loss.
TL;DR: | Does signed employee handbook stating I will receive vacation payout, and verbal confirmation from Director of operations give me any legal grounds to take this to court. In the state of Missouri. Thank you. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [19M] with my girlfriend [19F] of 3 months, told me that she's going to use drugs despite denying it in the past.
POST: When we started dating my girlfriend told me that she used molly (it's basically Ecstasy) once during a music festival and when I asked her if she will be using it again, she told me that she wouldn't. Yet, she has just told me as a "head's up" that she'll be doing it again with some of her friends for a music festival next week and I was a bit shocked and I asked her if she could avoid using it. She then told me that it's her life, she will do whatever she wants and that she will be using it once every few months. I fully understand that but she seems to miss the part where I care about her and her health, I had some friends who have had some very bad experience with this drug.
I do love very much, but it really hurts me when she lies to me and I don't know if I am going to be able to be with someone who uses drugs. To be honest, I don't know if I am overreacting or not but I don't want to lose her.
TL;DR: | She told me that she used molly once and that she will never use it again, lies about it, plans to use it again and doesn't understand that drugs are bad and that I care about her. |
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU by making a Facebook
POST: At first I made it because this girl kept pressuring me to make one because she wanted to invite me to one of her parties through it. She is really nice so I obliged, but now I look back at what a stupid reason that was to make a Facebook. Why couldn't she just invite me in real life or something.
For the longest time I had vowed not to make a Facebook and be a part of this terrible trend where all kinds of stupidity transgresses. Now I have a ton of "friend requests" from people I don't even really talk to in real life. I didn't want this. I just wanted to keep this quiet so the girl could just invite me. How did so many people find out? She was the only one that knew and I can't imagine her going and telling a bunch of people.
And I am also pretty pissed that, whether I really want to or not in the end, I can't just delete the damn thing. I have to "deactivate" it. It probably isn't a big deal, but I hate the feeling of Facebook having some of my info and I can't just wipe it away. They will always have it and there's nothing I can go.
If you read this far thanks very much.
TL;DR: | Made a Facebook just so a friend can invite me to something, (what was I thinking?) I hate Facebook and vowed never to make one, I wanted to keep it quiet but somehow a bunch of people found out. |
SUBREDDIT: r/legaladvice
TITLE: Damage caused to wall and walkway by neighbor's trees
POST: First I'll give some backstory:
Hello, I live in Los Angeles and my house has a shared cinder block wall with a neighbor. When I moved into the house, damage was already being done to both the wall itself and my concrete walkway. You can see roots under the cracks in the walkway.
At one point the owner of this house was finding new renters and wanted me to pay half the cost to fix our wall. I said no, because the damage was done by his trees so I didn't think I was obligated to pay.
He then decided that he would chop down the trees, but leave the stump plus the trunk up to the height of the wall (if he cut the whole tree down then the wall would just fall over on his side entirely) and just left the wall as it is.
Do I have any legal right to have him pay to fix the wall and repair the damage to my walkway caused by his trees? Should I have to pay half of the cost of fixing the wall (like he wanted)? Can I take him to small claims court over this if he refuses to address this?
TL;DR: | Neighbor's tree messed up our shared cinder block wall and my walkway, does he have to pay for the damages and replace the wall? Can I take him to court over this? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I (27f) think I made a huge mistake by moving in with a boyfriend too soon
POST: I moved in two weeks ago with my boyfriend (28m) of five months. I quit my job (and accepted one making way less money) and moved six hours away. Since arriving, it's been nearly constant conflict. Before moving in together, we were amazing compatible and had a lot of fun, though there were some red flags I ignored.
He gets mad at small things and will stay mad for a day or two at a time. He says he's made the same amount of sacrifices that I've made (I moved into his apartment in his city where his family and friends all live and he kept his job), so I can't use the challenges of starting over to explain difficult behavior. I've been trying to smooth things over with little success. I'm not perfect by a long shot, but I also have no idea what a normal amount of arguing is in a relationship (not much history of healthy relationships) or if there are growing pains upon moving in together.
We are both in AA and practice a program of recovery, so it makes it extra shocking that the person I moved in with seems so different than how he was ahead of time.
Are we wasting our time trying to fix this? Do people change? Should I just get out now, or should I continue to try to make this work?
TL;DR: | I moved in with a boyfriend 400 miles from home after dating only 4 months. It's a huge struggle and I don't know how much conflict is normal. |
SUBREDDIT: r/offmychest
TITLE: I can't tell if I'm depressed or perfectly content with life
POST: I know it sounds weird but that is exactly how I feel. Day to day my life seems to be going pretty well. I have a nice girlfriend, a few very close friends, a large group of extended friends and for the most part enjoy my senior year at college.
But...
Much of the time I feel utterly alone. I can't focus on school or trying to get a job next year. I only have the desire to sit around, smoke pot, and play video games. I spend nearly every night staying up till 5am getting high and playing video games. I spend hours doing this at night and all day I just browse reddit and watch movies and TV on my computer. I like getting stoned, doing nothing, and fucking my gf pretty often.
The reason I think I'm depressed is because I cannot even tell if I'm happy. I've gone through some personal trauma over the two years and I can't tell if I've been dealing with it really well or not at all. One of my best friends died, I had skin cancer, and spent a lot of time in the hospital. Also, I absolutely can't stand my roommates. They are the worst.
TL;DR: | happy day in and day out but feel alone in the world, dead friend, cancer, possible denial issues, hate my 4 roommates, i smoke too much pot, too lazy |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [17 M] with my girlfriend [16 F] High school romance, nearing 2 months dating 4 months total; my nervousness/anxiety making this difficult for me please help
POST: So, I have this really awesome girl in my life now (first real relationship ever.) Things are going great.
However, I've dealt with anxiety/worrying my entire life and recently have started going to consoling for it. My girlfriend hates when I worry because it makes her worry.
I constantly worry about my relationship, that I'm going to lose her. I know I have done nothing wrong to upset her or wrong her in any way. She tells me all the time how much she likes me and how happy she is with me, but for whatever reason I can't seem to actually understand that she really does.
I know this may seem like a "high school" thing, but I want to know if anyone has dealt with something similar to this before and you have overcome it so I can do the same.
TL;DR: | I worry a lot that my girlfriend is going to leave me when I know she isn't going to and would like a way to overcome it. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My [21F] boyfriend [31M] of 1 year called me boring in bed, he says it's no longer true but I can't get over it.
POST: Sorry! First post, please excuse any mistakes.
My boyfriend and I have been together a year, and it was very on/off due to lots of personal issues- his last relationship ended badly (they were engaged and were very incompatible from what I've heard) and the one before that he was cheated on twice.
The sex went downhill after only a few months together, and it began to feel as though he was masturbating into my body. He admitted he was bored of me sexually.
We split up, and got back together after a month and a half apart. Several things had changed for the better and we were stronger than ever. Sex is great.
However, I get strong anxiety post sex and I feel like it's only a matter of time before he is bored again. He insists that that is not the case and is getting tired of reassuring me constantly.
He is a great boyfriend- he always does little things to let me know he loves me, we communicate amazingly well, and I feel completely comfortable around him.
There are several other issues we have worked through (he only got over his unrequited love for an old friend from two years ago halfway through our relationship for example), so this isn't the only problem we have had.
I love him but I wonder how much is too much.
TL;DR: | Boyfriend called me boring in bed. I have apparently got better but I am still insecure. How do I get over this? |
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU by wearing shorts with a hole in and loose boxers.
POST: So, I have a tendency to rip the crotch in my trousers and tend to take a while to repair them. I was driving along today and felt a bit of an itch, so obviously reached down to scratch the area. Unfortunately, I then felt a sting. It didn't seem too bad and I had a quick glance down through the hole. Nothing looked out of the ordinary.
20 minutes of uncomfortable driving later I get home. I head up to the bathroom to relieve myself and have a closer inspection. I undo my trousers and out pop my now twice normal size, rather reddened testicles. They look somewhat like a partially inflated red balloon.
TL;DR: | a wasp flew up my shorts and stung my scrotum and I now have a hairy red balloon dangling under my cock. |
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU by speaking Greek
POST: A few years ago, I was studying in a Swedish city. Far away from home, it's always nice to get together with some fellow Greeks, so one day, some friends and I went out for coffee. Normally, when Swedes or guys/gals from other nationalities hung out with us, we used to speak Swedish, but since all the three of us were Greek, naturally we spoke Greek.
Now, mind that the Greek community in this city was almost non-existent; only university students and doctors, so we all pretty much know each other.
So, there is this guy sitting on the next table. He's on his own, reading a newspaper, drinking coffee and minding his own business. After a couple of hours he's still there (and imagine that he was having this cup of coffee even before we came to the store), reading his endless newspaper, so my friend says something like "Did that guy come after us?" to which i reply "Who? That fucker? Nah, he was here before us"
Nothing prepared me for what would follow. The man raised his head, locked eyes with us and asks in perfect Greek: "Are you studying here, guys?" Seriously, universe?
Needless to say, from that moment and on, we were extra careful with what we said in public.
TL;DR: | Three Greeks in Sweden called a random stranger 'fucker' in their native tongue; that fucker happened to be Greek as well. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I[16 M] am falling back into a thing with my on again off again girlfriend [16 F] of four years, and my parents [47 M] and [50 F] (predictably) disapprove
POST: **DISCLAIMER:** I understand that 90% of this subreddit deals with far greater issues than my own, but I need some guidance nonetheless.
So, here it goes. I've been essentially in love with this girl since I was 13 years old. 13 is quite obviously a young age to begin a real relationship, but our situation (I hope) is a bit different. We met at the end of 7th grade, and we have broken up and got back together three times since then. Much of the time it was relatively stupid or we just lost interest. She did cheat on me three years ago, but I have fully forgiven her since then, and she truly feels remorse.
We've dated other people over the course of these four years, but somehow inexplicably end up together in the end. Now it is our junior year and we have both lost interest in seeing other people and doing the whole single thing, and we have settled back into a relationship.
Here is where my parents come in. I invited her over tonight, and while my parents agreed to having her over, they expressed an extreme disdain for us ever re-kindling a relationship. I continued to talk with them about it and it progressed into them yelling at me, and criticizing my decisions. They ended with explicitly telling me that I could not date her. This made me incredibly uncomfortable as she is coming over tonight with both of them home.
They were supportive in the past, but at this point, they are understandably sick and tired of it. At this point, while we are still quite young, we are mature enough to be able to handle this relationship the way it should be. I don't want to have to convince my parents that she is *worthy* of my by some standard. Any advice would be appreciated.
TL;DR: | On again off again girlfriend and I are back on again, hopefully for the rest of highschool, and my parents are disapproving to the point of anger. pls halp. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [16F] with my mum [41F] I'm regretting not leaving when she threatened to kick me out
POST: Pretty much as the title says. My mum and I had an argument last night in which she called me rude, selfish and ungrateful for doing general teenager stuff (read: having a messy room, not really wanting to socialise, spending a lot of time gaming). This is not the issue, the issue is that I mentioned I wanted to go on a roadtrip round Europe with some friends, two of whom will be over 18 if we go in the summer (I'm in college and it'll be a group of girls) before before I have to move.
My mum yelled at me that I only use her for lifts to work and what about her and how much she's given up. She told me if I think I'm so independent then I should get out of her house. This argument started over the clothes I wear, I wear jeans and t-shirts and don't like wearing skirts and dresses.
She then moved on to attacking my friends (or her perceived lack of because we don't meet up a lot). This is fairly commonplace, when I was with my ex (16M) she attacked him saying he was only using me for Christmas presents, that he didn't love me because he wouldn't travel 80 miles up the country to come see me, saying he was a cunt, controlling, an asshole etc. This led to me crying a lot down the phone to him and it eventually caused us to break up, earlier this year and even then she didn't stop slagging him off to me.
My mum wants to move 80 miles up the country, pulling me out of college, where I am comfortable and am doing well, because 'there's no industry where we live now and you have no friends anyway'.
I feel like I should have left when she told me to last night because I'm not in a good place when I'm at home, I can't go and live with my dad because he lives 130 miles up the country and it'd mean I'd have to drop out of college. She spent most of last night yelling and saying I was ungrateful, rude, selfish, naive etc, and that I couldn't handle living by myself because I'd have another meltdown due to the stress.
TL;DR: | I have a rocky relationship with my mum, made worse last night and I regret not packing up my stuff there and then and going to a hotel for the night. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Need Advice. I (31F) Thinking of ratting my Best Friend (30F) out to her husband (36M).
POST: Let me start by saying I am fully aware this is none of my business or place to tell.
Basics: My best friend of many years cheating on her husband with multiple partners, male and female, sexually, physically & emotionally. There are children (5) involved ages 2-8
It's been 2/3 almost 4 years watching this relationship fall apart. The cheating started slowly as emotional. Soon became physical once or twice. Fine, an affair is an affair none of my business. After 4 years it's developed into a dangerous sketchy path in my opinion especially since there are children involved and people's lives.
Her Facebook account was logged onto my computer, so naturally I snooped as I know what she's up to, as she tells me. At this point, she is meeting random strangers off Tinder, Plenty of Fish etc. And having sex with them. Sometimes for money, gifts etc. Her Facebook inbox is full of messages to strangers, guys, sending graphic nudes etc.
She's fooled around with friends of hers husbands, while fooling around with this wife. This is only the tip of the iceberg.
This is and has effected friends and my own marriage as she is sketchy and my own partner is very nervous when she is around as she has put many of us in bad positions and uncomfortable situations.
Her SO is not stupid but I don't think he understands the extent of what's going on. He's also previously divorced (kids from this marriage) which I think might add to his hesitation for addressing any assumptions he may have. What's also alarming is she is still having sex with her husband.
Problem: Do I tell him? And if so how do I tell him without actually telling him. I don't want to be involved in this. Just want him to know, with proof, but remain anonymous. Ideas?
TL;DR: | I've been contemplating letting the cat out of the bag to my best friends husband about her infidelity/double life. Should i? If I do tell what is the best way without me being involved? |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Should I go back to the doctor's?
POST: This past Saturday I went to the ER for a pain in my lower back/abdomen. After doing blood work, a urinalysis, and a CT scan the doctor told me it was a kidney stone and gave me some anti-nausea and pain meds. The nurse told me to come back if I got a high fever.
I don't have a fever, but the pain hasn't really gone away and I'm still getting nauseous/vomiting. I don't know how long the pain from this kind of thing can last and I'm hoping someone who has experience with this kind of thing can tell me if I should go back to see a doctor.
I'm an American with no health insurance so I don't want to rush back in to see someone if it's normal. I shudder to think what the original ER bill is going to be.
I fully understand that this is not a substitute for medical advice, only a personal suggestion.
TL;DR: | I was diagnosed with a kidney stone on Saturday. The pain hasn't gone away. Is this normal or should I go back? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My [22F] ex [28M] is dying. I don't know what my role is.
POST: It was a bad break up. We were only together for a year. I was the one who ended it because I was not happy in the relationship, he was just not good to me. I was more of a maid or a mom then his partner.
Today I found out theres a chance he could die, a very real chance. We have been broken up for almost two years now but have been in contact since he is paying down a pc I bought him. He told me he would pay off the remaining dept on the PC but I'm not sure what my role in all of this is.
So reddit... What is my role? Honestly the last two years we have not been friendly. All it has been is messages to confirm payments sent and recieved.
TL;DR: | ex is dying. What is my role? Relationship was unhappy for one year and we've been broken up for two years. I have a new SO now. |
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU by going to my brothers baseball game...
POST: OK reddit, this actually happened on Sunday but I've been unavailable until today. Also, not sure I'd this is the right sub to post in but I need to get this off my chest...
So, just a bit of backstory. My little brother (13) has autism, and knows it now due to cruel step-siblings at his moms, so my dad signs him up for baseball to get him outta that house. He's not as athletic as most kids age (let's be honest, he's kind of a pussy, but I love that little shit to death) so of course the "competitive" (asshat) dads are gonna give him shit. This was expected.
Well fast forward to sunday. Game day, dad and I are there to cheer him on. He's not doing so hot, but I can tell he's giving everything he's got. But then I hear the word "retard". Now I'm not at all worried about political correctness (am I saying that right?), but that's baby brother who just so happens...nah just imagined it. Oh, there it is again, directed right at my brother, by a grown ass man. No.
Proceeded to beat the everlasting piss outta this shit stain, but then the police showed up. Was held for 4 days before pretrial, just got out of jail like 2 hours ago. Lost my job, probably gonna get like 2 years probation and not be allowed to anymore baseball games. Worth it.
(
TL;DR: | ) Went to support special needs brother, beat the piss outta some dad for "verbally assaulting" him, proceeded to shatter life. |
SUBREDDIT: r/dating_advice
TITLE: Advice on asking out a friend 19[M]
POST: (throwaway) for the last year or two I've been single, mostly because I've just been busy with school and haven't really felt like having a girlfriend. sure ive had attractions and whatnot, but I never felt compelled to enter a relationship. Lately though I've noticed that I miss having someone i can trust and put my trust in, but im not somebody to jump into throwaway relationships just because im lonely. About a year ago, i met a girl through university rock climbing club that i help head, and we got along but were nothing more than acquaintances. She stopped climbing for a long while though,returned this semester, and we've gotten much closer.
We got to be better friends because i was her ride for a 6 hour drive up to a climbing crag along with another friend of ours, and thats when things started to kick off. Since then weve done a lot of trips together for rafting, climbing, music festivals, that sort of thing, (with another female friend of ours) and she seems like somebody that would be a lot of fun to date. I know that she has some little crushes and former flings who live in different cities from her raft guide job last summer, but they just seem like the same sort of thing everyone has.
Basically, Im wondering if it seems like she may have some feelings for me as well (i can answer questions about her in comments or messages) and how/if i should ask her out. My main concern isn't even really that she'll say no, its that if she does, she'll feel too awkward to continue to hand out with me, because even if we don't date i really enjoy hanging out with her on our trips. Any advice or insight is appreciated!
TL;DR: | how should or should i ask out a girl I've been hanging out with, without making it awkward in the future if she doesn't share my feelings. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me 30F with my husband 38M of 10 years, went to annual work banquet, got an award, didn't tell husband.
POST: Edit: The award in question was for saving a teenager's life. **My husband asked that I clarify this.**
2nd
TL;DR: | went to annual work banquet, didn't tell husband, he's very angry./ Opinions on what to do? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [20F] with my boyfriend [20 M] of 11 months, I feel like a very low priority and it's wrecking my mental health.
POST: I have been in a relationship with him for 11 months. We used to see each other every day (we live 2 minutes away by car from each other), and a month ago it stopped because he decided to put his ambitions and goals first. That was totally okay with me as long as I was still somewhat of a priority and so we only see each other maybe once a week now.
I keep wanting to see him more and more, but every time I ask if he's busy or what he's doing he says he is with friends, either smoking or making music. That really shuts me down, I feel extremely excluded from his life.
I tried to bring this up with him before and he said that if I can't take the amount of attention he gives me then I shouldn't be in the relationship. Even tonight I told him that I had the car and could drive over (he always drives so it's nice if I drive sometimes) he said he was busy, with friends. We haven't seen each other since Sunday and we barely talk during the day. Why is it such a big deal for me but it doesn't matter to him?
He also says that one reason is because we do nothing. Even though we do a lot of the same things him and his friends do. I suggest new things to do but he doesn't like any of them. I feel extremely stupid and useless and I don't know what to do. I try to keep busy but it always affects me either way.
TL;DR: | Feeling like a very low priority, almost like a back up with my boyfriend. It's making me feel all sorts of negative ways. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I've [28/F] am very insecure but am deeply in love with my boyfriend [22/m]. How do I let go of it?
POST: I'll keep this short and sweet. I've been delt a crappy hand in love and been dumped for another woman twice and then dumped for no reason without warning once. I've met an incredible guy who is quite a bit younger than me, but I can seriously see a future with him. He's the best boyfriend I've ever had and I've been open and honest with him about all of this. I've felt that due to the way other guys have treated me, its proven that I'm not worthy of love, especially over the long term. And I'm terrified that he's going to leave me, even though I know he loves me and we've talked about a future together.
I am fully expecting to be hurt because that's the way all of my romantic relationships with men (and with my parents) seem to end. He knows about this and we're candid, but I want to be able to relax and enjoy my relationship because I love him immensely and in a way I have never truly loved anyone else. And it is scary. And I am self-aware enough to know that this sort of thing pushes people away, so I am trying very hard not to let it get in the way of our clo
TL;DR: | Have had crappy relationships in the past, now in love with someone I could see in the long term...how do I get rid of my paralyzing fear of losing him? |
SUBREDDIT: r/Dogtraining
TITLE: Tips on how to train a dog who's obsessive over toys?
POST: Good morning r/Dogtraining!
First post on this subreddit, because I am looking for some help or suggestions. My Pit Bull is one of the sweetest dogs I know, and gets along very well with other dogs, cats, and all humans.
I've spent a lot of time training her, and she listens to me incredibly well. The one area I need a bit more help with is when she is playing with toys. She gets that Pit Bull focus with them, and almost nothing can break her concentration when it comes between her and getting the toy. Her Pupils get big, and it's like there is nothing else in the world around her.
When I am playing with her and she's close to me, I can snap and it breaks her focus. Like literally you see her pupils shrink and she starts wagging her tail and looking at me. But the trouble I'm having is when she's outside playing with other dogs. I truly believe that if she could hear me or I could get her attention I could snap her out of it, but I can be yelling to her, and it's as if she doesn't even hear me.
Thanks in advance!
TL;DR: | Dog has an almost unbreakable focus on toys that I need to find a way to control when she's playing with other dogs, so nothing bad happens in the heat of the moment |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: I am recently unemployed, have some money but also have a couple bills, and am depressed. Reddit, should I move?
POST: I'm in desperate need of advice.
The story goes...
I am 24 years old. I finished school in December with a degree in graphic design. A few months ago, I moved from Fort Wayne, Indiana to Omaha, Nebraska after I landed a job with the goal to start off my career with a bang. Unfortunately, that bang was a weak one and the job didn't work out, thus, landing me back in Indiana with no job, some money thanks to a month's worth of severance pay, and a state of mind that has never been worse (see: depressed). Although I have been looking for work since moving back, I have had no luck. I do not have a solid support system here and I feel more disconnected from everyone than I ever have before.
I have a best friend that lives in Colorado Springs that is encouraging me to pick up and leave similar to the way I did when I left for Omaha and to move to Colorado. The only obvious differences are that I do not have a job lined up nor do I have a place to stay (my best friend still lives with his family). I am confident that if I went out there I would instantly feel better because I would at least be around someone I consider to be my brother. However, I am constrained by what Society would view as irresponsibility and an unsafe decision simply because I have bills.
Reddit, I don't know what to do and I could really use some guidance.
TL;DR: | I am recently unemployed, moved back home, incredibly depressed, have the money the move, but don't have the finances to last me. Should I move or not? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Boot camp
POST: My(16f) boyfriend(18m) of two years left for boot camp two days ago. I had no idea how I would get to his graduation but a good friend of mine offered to pay. I know he will. He flew me down to see my dad for the first time this past summer. I just need my dad's permission now. My problem is that at these graduations there is usually a limit of guests. (3) His mother, father, and then either me or his brother. His brother(20ishM) is in the Navy as well. He wants to go to his graduation. There's one spot. Who should get it? Obviously I want to go, but I understand that they're brothers and family is more important than our relationship. But, it is his graduation...
TL;DR: | My boyfriend brother wants to go to his basic training graduation, as do I, but there is only one spot available. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: Time to give up on a friendship?
POST: Hey guys, throwaway account, because well, I kinda need to.
So I have this friend. Let's call her Sarah. And another friend, who we'll call Ellie. The three of us have been best friends since high school, and it's been a couple of years since we graduated but we still talk every day. Or at least, we used to.
Ellie recently got some new friends. Good for her, right, because they have more things in common than she does with me and Sarah. Almost every time we'd talk to her in the last month or so she'd say, "sorry, busy, with *insert new group of friends here*", or ignore us altogether. As I type this, we haven't spoken to her in five days, but we know she exists because she's still posting on Facebook and Instagram and what not. If she's mad at us (I don't think that's likely) I couldn't for the life of me figure out what we did.
Sarah and I haven't spoken about it. But it's getting to me because, I really miss her. I get she has new friends and that I shouldn't be jealous, but I am.
I know this sounds like a stupid schoolgirl kind of problem, but I'd feel too awkward bringing it up for fear of sounding clingy or jealous. Do I wait, talk to her anyway, or just give up on her?
TL;DR: | Friend has new friends, ignoring me and her other best friend because she's busy with them all the time. What do I do? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Should I date a guy who has a seedy past- and hasn't quite let go of it?
POST: I (23 F) am currently dating a guy (28 m) who has had a tumultuous past (he grew up in a broken home and got kicked out of several schools for fighting. He's also been arrested three times). We have been dating for 2 months. In fact, I've posted about him before here. I have learned from other people with seedy pasts NOT to judge someone on what they have done, but by who they are now. My concern is though, although my boyfriend has not gotten arrested in 8 years, but he is still friends with guys who have. He has mentioned to me that one guy just got out of jail for drug trafficking (this is a good friends of his). In addition, I am a pretty clean kinda girl- I occasionally party with friends, but I've never gotten in trouble or done hard drugs. He casually mentioned that he has done a line at a party not too long ago, and did shrooms over the summer. I know he does not make a habit of this, but because of this, it seems like he's still holding on to his not-so-great past. Should I talk to him about this? How can I do so without sounding judgmental? Other than this, he is a nice guy with a good job, and he treats me well.
TL;DR: | 23 F dating a 28/M who got arrested/ into trouble when he was younger. He claims this is behind him, but still dabbles in illegal things/has friends who do. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My [29F] LDR BF [29M] has drastically changed his amount of responsiveness and attention paid to me.
POST: Me and my long-distance boyfriend have only been official for a month and a half. He was absolutely amazing - always calling, always texting me, sending gifts and just generally showing massive amounts of interest. I totally fell for him so much that I agreed to be in a LDR with him.
A few weeks ago he got in really big trouble at work a potentially career changing mistake and it just so happened to coincide with a visit from me (the 2nd time we've seen e/o since we made it official) He's been waiting to find out if he's going to have charges filed against him/get fired. Ever since then he has almost isolated himself from me only texting a few times a day (like 6 short texts max/day, no good morning, etc) and calling one time a week, not responding to most texts and not answering most of my calls. Im not sure if the change happened bc the thing with work, or something I did while there that turned him off.
I've asked him if he wanted to break up but still talk just so the extra pressure wouldn't be on him and he's reassured me that "we'll be fine, I'm just going through a lot" every single time. I do my best to always be positive and send supportive texts. He's not showing any interest at this point and I'm not sure if it's because of the situation at work or if he just does not have any interest in me anymore.
He still goes out with his friends, I just get ignored (unless I send him a sexy pic)
My initial instinct is that I'm being played, that it's so early in the relationship, and I need to break up with him. But I keep thinking that this didn't happen in a vacuum and I don't want to be the girl who left a great guy while he was at his worst and that I should just chill and wait it out.
TL;DR: | BF got in trouble at work. He's not being responsive and I'm not sure if I should stick it out or cut my losses. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [25 M] am struggling with comparisons of my wife's [25 F] sisters
POST: I realize that this will make me sound like a horrible human being, hence the use of a throwaway.
My wife and I have been married for a couple of years now. We were "high school sweethearts" who ended up together after a few years in college. She has 3 sisters (all over 18), who I've always been relatively close to (since I've been around them for 7+ years). One recently got married, and I realize that this may be what started my turmoil.
Looking at pictures, I can't help but compare my wife to her sisters in attractiveness. And she unfortunately doesn't win. She's put on some weight since we got together, and while I still absolutely love her to death I recognize that she isn't as attractive to me in a physical sense anymore. She's also the oldest, and its certainly started to show very quickly. I can't help but compare her to her siblings, which makes me feel awful.
The issue is I don't know how to stop. I don't want to be that petty, shallow person, but these thoughts come immediately. I have no relationship interest in any of them, but they are simply outright more attractive to me. How do I get over these mental issues? They make me feel guilty every time I see them, and some stupid part of me insists that I somehow "settled." Do I tell her?
TL;DR: | I think my wife's sisters are cuter than her, and don't know what to do or how to stop feeling this way. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My colleague [25/f] tried to quit smoking & asked for support. Now she has "relapsed", should I [27/m] try to get her back or track or leave her with her choice?
POST: Work colleague [25/f] decided to give up smoking at the start of the year. She was pretty keen to share this with everybody, and so, because I'm [27/m] the caring type, I checked whether she'd like support with it - rather than just ending up being that weird co-worker who keeps pestering her about her personal life - or not.
She said she'd appreciate all the support she could get, and although I've never tried to give up something myself, I believed what little support I could show might help her in someone - as she seemed genuinely keen to quit.
A few weeks down the line she hasn't quit, but has significantly cut back on the amount she was smoking - at work at least. She used to have 3 or 4 breaks a day, now she barely has 1 a week. She keeps telling me when she has "failed" though, and though I keep trying to put a positive spin, I'm not sure there's much else I can/should do as it doesn't feel like my place to as we're just colleagues.
Now she seems to be strongly considering quitting quitting, as she says she has replaced smoking with eating unhealthily - and although she goes to the gym, she'd rather not have to go more to counter this.
So now I'm wondering, this is this girl's life, and it's not really my place to interfere, but should I try to convince to stick with it - as she did ask for support ... is this like a 'cry for help'? - or should I just let her start smoking and get on with my own life?
TL;DR: | Girl at work decided to quit smoking. Said she'd appreciate any support. Now she has relapsed, do I continue to support, or move on? |
SUBREDDIT: r/offmychest
TITLE: Got scammed by a famous-ish American fitness personality.
POST: I'm based in Australia and am a full time student and work part-time to live. I saved my money for months in order to buy a 6 month online coaching package that was reduced due to a promotion this fitness personality was having. Due to the currency exchange, I ended up spending about AUD450 which is about US350 at the time. I was excited and fully ready to take my bodybuilding hobby to the next level. This person has a lot of online clients who I assume are based in the US as well (I'm not too sure). In any case, I poured my heart out in terms of my goals and she made it seem like it was all very possible.
Three weeks in, and I am waiting for her to respond to my progress check from week 2. She won't acknowledge any of the emails I send her. When I ask her on instagram (commenting on her picture) about whether she's received my email, she just asks me to resend it. I have sent about 4 emails, one DM on instagram (which is still unread) and still no response. All the while, she is still promoting her service and signing on new clients and posting actively on social media.
I don't know what to do or if I'll be able to get my money back (minus the one month of programming she gave me). I just lost money that I spent months saving up because I am that poor and apparently, stupid. I feel like an idiot and I feel really shitty about it. I want to know where to go from here but chances are, there's nothing to be done.
TL;DR: | got scammed by a fitness personality into buying a 6 month online coaching package only to get flaked on and ignored. |
SUBREDDIT: r/weddingplanning
TITLE: Gifts for day-of wedding helpers?
POST: My fiancé and I are a bit untraditional and decided to nix the wedding party idea. Instead, we have some close friends and family members helping with tasks usually delegated to bridesmaids and groomsmen: shower planning, crafts, etc., as well as readings, handing out programs, and helping to decorate.
None of them have had to buy dresses or rent tuxes, but some of them have put in a lot of time and effort into helping us with our wedding. We want to thank them with nice gifts, but we're struggling to think of something nice and meaningful.
My initial thought was gift cards for each (to different places, depending on the person), but our budget is pretty low. By the time we spent, say, $25 on each gift card (roughly 10-12 people), that's a lot of money. I also thought a bottle of wine for each might be nice, but my parents suggested something more personal and lasting.
Any ideas? No set budget, but we're probably looking to spend less than $15-20 per person. I recognize that many people spend $50 or more on bridal party gifts, but keep in mind that very few of these people have had to spend any money other than what the typical guest spends (travel, lodging). I do not think any of them will be expecting gifts, as many of them will only be helping on the day of.
TL;DR: | No bridal party. We want to give gifts to our day-of helpers (readings, programs, etc). Looking for meaningful/lasting gift ideas that won't break the bank. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My [24M] bad insomnia problems caused a bad reaction and my girlfriend [24F] told me "Call me when you figure it out"
POST: So I've been having bad sleeping problems. I never had them but about 3 weeks ago I've been having a very hard time- 0-2 hours per night. The sleep deprivation is really affecting me heavily, I'm normally a happy guy but since this consistently started happening I've been absolutely miserable.
Saturday night, I hit my breaking point. As I laid in bed all night, I got so frustrated I started yelling. Honestly felt (and still feel) like I'm going insane. I wasn't saying anything directed to her, just a bunch of "fuck I'm so fucking done with this" type things. My girlfriend slept on my couch (1 room over) to give me space to sleep that night, but apparently she was so horrified by my yelling that she had to leave.
She was abused by an ex so she told me it triggered some horrible emotions even though she knew I meant no harm, especially towards her. But she was still supportive at the time and we talked through it yesterday morning.
...Until later in the day when she was clearly mad in text messages. She basically told me she doesn't know who I am anymore. I promise, the yelling wasn't that severe and I truly believe this is a huge overreaction. In my attempts to apologize, be understanding and help get through this, she says she just has nothing to say to me. Then proceeds that with a "just call me when you get this figured out."
I told her we can get through this without doing this and she didn't really care. I'm honestly pretty hurt that, although she has a valid reason for being upset, she's going to just drop out from me when I need her the most. I don't want to break up with her but this feels too cruel, and I'm not sure if I should forgive her when this blows over.
So what do you think? Am I overreacting and she's justified? Or is she overreacting and I don't deserve to have my support dropped?
TL;DR: | Insomnia caused me to react which inadvertently startled my girlfriend, she is now completely dropping communication until I "figure it out" |
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU by shitting myself sitting on my bed, fully aware of it.
POST: So, something I need to say for starters is I have terrible knees, for a 17 year old and for probably any fucking age. Sometimes when I set on my bedside and grab something under my bed, I bend my knees or twist them and the left one is locked. Fucking. Locked. Dislocated, call it how you want it idk, but it needs a painful, ugly push to pop back in.
So one day as I'm wandering about, sitting on the bedside listening to a new CD I just bought I reach for the remote that fell under my bed. The fuck up is that I manage to forget this happens to me EVERY.SINGLE.TIME.ALWAYS!
When I reached for it, I grabbed it, got back up and had a quick rush of ''Oh shit.'' Which is literally what happened a while afterwards. I sat there for the longest possible time, which resulted in shitting my pants because I was so afraid of the pain this 'popping' delivers that I denied just doing it and getting it over with. I shit myself and sat in it for so long the mattress is still stained with a print of my ass cheeks (note, wearing pants sitting on a blanket so this shit really went through a lot of shit to reach that point)
TL;DR: | Knee cap got dislocated, too afraid to pop it back in so I cried for 3 hours while simultaneously shitting myself |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My [27 M] wife [26 F] has had jealousy issues, impacting my ability to make female friends. How can I make more platonic friends with women in a healthy way?
POST: In my 20s. I have not made many female friends in several years (only acquaintances), particularly because of my wife's jealousy issues and reactions. I personally have never been irresponsible or disloyal in that regard.
But, since women are half the population and an important part of human relationship/community in general, I think it's important and I want to start nurturing more platonic friendships with women despite my wife.
Is this possible? What are the best ways that are still respectful to my wife, yet also not so restrictive that it inhibits my growth as a person and a friend?
I'm not sure I even know how to go about finding friendships with other women in the first place at this point.
TL;DR: | I have struggled to make platonic friends with women in the past several years because it makes my wife jealous and react poorly. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Am I being too nice? (22f)
POST: It started 9 months ago (you know where this is going), when my very good friend (at the the time FWB) and close neighbor (38m), got another girl pregnant (26f).
After I got over the fact that we were over, stopped sleeping with him, and moved on- I am ok with our relationship and all of us are on good terms.
The baby is coming soon. The last few weeks I've been helping them clean their apartment, move furniture, build a crib, etc. etc.
Though I have no problem helping them out- I don't know this girl very well, and I did not attend their baby shower or anything, and it still is a little awkward.
Today I went over to borrow their vacuum. He was at work, and her and her mom were cleaning the apartment and getting ready for the baby. Somehow I managed to offer to help them move boxes from their apartment to my storage unit and move the things that are in there now (mostly baby things that came from family and friends) back to their place.
This is something that would not bother me if he was there, but I think it's a little uncomfortable helping her and her mom move these things.
This got me wondering if I'm being too nice all-in-all.
I know they need the help, and I am a nice person so I am helping them. But at what point do I just say "no"?
TL;DR: | Helping out my former FWB and his pregnant girlfriend clean their apartment, among other things. I feel I'm being "too nice". |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [21F] can't stop thinking about my husbands [24M] friend [24M]. What the heck is wrong w/ me?
POST: my husband and I have been married for almost 4 years. Yes, you read that right, 4 years. We got married when I was 17. We met when I was barely 16. So you can imagine, things went fast. We mainly got married because he was in the military, and it was easier if we were married. We have a one and a half year old son together. As you can imagine, I had to grow up a lot quicker than my friends.
Usually, were very happy together, but we do have our rough spots. My husband went through an emotionally abusive phase, but is attending therapy so he doesn't start again. Right now, we're ok. I love my husband to death, but I feel like a terrible wife at the moment & it's making me feel SO guilty.
The other weekend, while our son was at my moms house for the night, my husband asked if I wanted to come along to his friends Brandon's house. Him & Brandon went to high school together & played sports together in school, but stopped talking when my husband moved away for the military. They reconnected when we moved back to our home town. My husband goes over to Brandon's a couple nights a week just to hangout.
So I decided I should go with him to meet Brandon since he's becoming a close friend to my husbands. i thought it was gonna be awkward but it wasn't at all, Brandon was very nice & funny. I can see why my husband hangs out with him. He's a great guy. We had fun together.
Here's my problem. I can't stop thinking about Brandon for some reason. I just keep wanting to hangout with him again. I don't have many friends, so all I keep thinking about is hanging out with Brandon. I haven't told my husband, because I don't want him to get upset. But how can I make myself stop thinking about him?! He was just super nice, like no one I've met before. I don't know why I keep thinking about him either. Maybe because of the rough spots I had with my husband? I don't know. Someone tell me I'm not terrible?
TL;DR: | husband and I have been married 4 years. Recently met my husbands friend from high school, who is a very nice and funny guy. But now I can't stop thinking about him and it's making me feel terrible. |
SUBREDDIT: r/dating_advice
TITLE: Is He Shy Or Just Not Interested? (M, F, 30s)
POST: This is a different situation than I usually see with this question. This isn't a guy that I have a crush on. We've actually been on dates.
We (F and M in our 30s) met through online dating and have been on some various dates. Five now in about a month. But I have absolutely no idea what his intentions are. There has been absolutely no progression, intimacy-wise. No kiss. Only the occasional hug.
Now, I'm not against making the first move, but his body language is so closed. If we're watching a movie together, sitting on the couch, he keeps looking at the TV when he talks to me. He gives me side-eye rather than turning his head toward mine.
I can't tell if he's shy, afraid of me, or just not interested. That's when we're together.
When we're not together, the in-between is also confusing. If I suggest doing something through text, he doesn't seem all that interested. He'll say things like, "I do want to do something, but I'm just so busy with work." I'm trying my damnedest not to do the classic girl thing of over-analyzing that. (Obvs, I'm not completely succeeding.)
Then, one day, he'll ask ME to do something, and he'll seem interested again. Sometimes he'll mention things we'll do in the future with this confidence that he's sure they'll happen. But they're things that friends could do, too, so...
Can you tell I'm confused?
I really want to ask him what his intentions are, but I know guys shy away from those kinds of conversations. But if he just wants to be my friend, I kind of need to know, right?
TL;DR: | He hasn't made a move after 5 dates and, with his closed body language, I can't tell if he just wants to be my friend or if he's just shy. |
SUBREDDIT: r/legaladvice
TITLE: Friend Threatened to be Sued by Previous Employer.
POST: My friend, is in CA and from what I understand Noncompete is illegal. He was fired from the job for working on the side. There was no rule about this or agreement, but that has little to do with the threats. The company wishes to sue him for Missapropriation of Trade Secrets.
The company was in the consumer break/fix IT field and there are no trade secrets related to fixing computers. They are trying to say he has a customer list, he has none, and that he needs to cease using programs (spybot, hitmanpro, malwarebytes) because their usage in a certain way is a trade secret.
From company "Our "Tune up" service does include free programs available to the public. The specific programs we use, the order in which we use them and the service we provide while using them constitutes a trade secret. You are barred from using them to provide service to customers"
Also "You must immediately inform the undersigned of the names of Comapny's clients or prospective clients you have solicited or have had commercial contact since terminating your employment with Company."
Which is fine, he has no contact with any customers except for the one that asked him if he performed any side service which lead to his termination. How can they define prospective clients?
It seems to me they are trying to get him not to conduct business in IT aka Noncompete.
See first paragraph of letter sent to my friend
We have become aware that you have formed and are conducting a business identical to Company's business commencing as early as March 2014. Also, we believe you are using Company's confidential information, software, and methods to unfairly compete in the computer maintenance and repair business in and around Nope, California. Your conduct is unlawful and must stop immediately.
If the entire letter is needed please let me know.
TL;DR: | Friend being sued for allegedly using customer list, using free programs in a specific manor, conducting a competing business, soliciting prospective clients. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I'm [19 M] having a great time with my new gf [18 F] for 3 months, however, her parents have her bubble wrapped and won't let her grow up.
POST: My girlfriend has parents that won't let her do anything. I want to describe it more as bubble wrapping her. They are keeping her too safe and not allowing her to have fun. She is a very studious girl and I respect her space as much as I can, but when I go to the bar (we live in a place where drinking age is 18+) for an hour and invite her to go accompany me, her parents ruin it with: "It's a school night" or "Your curfew is 10pm".
She is in grade 12 but she is a year older than her class (because of moving various places). I am in second year university. We both are living with our parents and I have been grateful with parents that have given me a lot of freedom to stay late and a cheap place to live. Her's on the other hand do not allow her the freedom to stay late and make her own decisions. This issue is really frustrating for us. When we hang with friends, she is always the first to leave before the party is started. We haven't had a chance to stay up late and have "fun" because of these curfews.
She has tried to talk to her parents on several occasions. Her arguments for more freedom include but are not limited to: 18 and of now legal living age, need to make my own decisions, and "Didn't you want more freedom at my age?/What would you want to do at my age?". Every attempt she makes to reason for freedom has only gained angry parents that think that their child is revolting on them.
I am under the impression that I will not be able to do anything to help and this is an issue she must solve. Please give me advice on anything I can help her with. Thanks in advanced reddit!
TL;DR: | Girlfriend's parents are treating her like she is a kid and won't let her stay up late. She can't convince them otherwise. |
SUBREDDIT: r/loseit
TITLE: NSV - Donated all of my fat clothes today!
POST: F/32 - 5'7" - 8 months - Down to 229 from 302 - 73 POUNDS lost and still going strong!
Today I finally went through my closet and tried on every item of clothing I own. I decided if it's too big then [it's time to go.] I filled [5 trash bags] with my fat clothes! I donated all the clothes to our local charity.
I started out wearing a women's size 28 and I am now wearing a size 18. I mostly wore XXL shirts or larger depending on the brand and now I am wearing XL and a few L's. While I am very excited about what I have accomplished thus far - my closet is empty!
Here is the same routine I have been using since the start of my weight loss journey: 70 minutes of aerobics 5 days/week (mostly elliptical, but also Just Dance on the
TL;DR: | F/32 - 5'7" - 8 months - Down to 229 from 302 - 73 POUNDS lost. I donated 5 trash bags full of my old fat clothes! |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I'm a married guy, but have a woman friend who acts ridiculously hot and cold. Don't want to be more than friends, but not sure how to mellow things out.
POST: My wife and I are both in our late 30s, married for over 16 years, with 2 kids under 10. I have a friend at work who is a woman, mid-thirties, and we've become close friends over the years. She is also married, and her, me and another woman run ~5X per week, so we see each other pretty frequently. Her husband and I are also friends - he's cool.
The frustrating part is that I can't figure out this woman. Sometimes she is my best friend in the world other than my wife. Really fun, interesting, and caring. At other times she is cold as ice - particularly at work (even though she is really outgoing with everyone else at work) ... to the extent that others have asked if she dislikes me for some reason. Outside of work she invites me to parties, we sometimes get drinks together, and we talk all the time during our runs. Although lately the 'cold' times have sometimes extended out of work.
I'm not really attracted to her and have no interest (my wife is amazing, and would never jeopardize us), but because of her hit/miss personality I can't help obsessing. I've tried asking her about it once or twice, but she doesn't like to share feelings and just blowed it off.
How can I figure out what's going on? I've tried asking my wife, but she mostly thinks this is humorous and says she can't read people's minds either.
TL;DR: | Friend is sometimes very friendly, and other times really cold. I just want to be friends, but don't know how to make that happen. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Have you ever won an argument only to end up feeling like a jerk?
POST: I came across a [photo of Chaz Ortiz (a professional skateboarder) in a skateboarding magazine] I grew up in the same area as Chaz and met him a few times so I was pretty excited about it. I showed my dad because my dad is a photographer and he told me that the photo was not authentic, and that the way the lighting was, there was no way that he did the trick in real life. He claimed that they added Chaz to the photo of the spot, and that Chaz had done the trick somewhere else.
It turned into a big argument of me defending Chaz, the magazine, and skateboarding culture. Also, my dad was trying to explain to me that you can't believe everything you see and that there isn't always truth in advertising/photos. Being a photographer for the past 35 years, he explained how almost every photo you find is shopped and has only a layer of truth to it.
I was really angry with this and sent a long email to the photographer asking about the details of the shot, and anything that could uphold it's authenticity. He replied with a detailed message about everything used in the photo, how it was taken, how he edited it, etc.
The next day I showed the e-mail to my dad as well as footage I found of the trick. I felt all high and mighty winning this argument. My dad only looked down disappointed and said "I guess you're right".
I felt like a total asshole. My sister explained to me that he was really bummed because he is a photographer and I made him look dumb. Even though I was right it made him upset. My dad is really awesome and always nice, so beating him in an argument really made me feel bad.
TL;DR: | My dad claimed a photo to be a fake and used his 35 years of being a professional photographer as his backup, only to have me completely prove him wrong and make him embarrassed/sad. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: AskReddit: I don't know where else to look; Job/Career advice?
POST: Hi Reddit, I'm faced with a bit of a conundrum and I'm unsure of where to turn. My family has never done well in the corporate world, and my friends - all being my age - are faced with the same lack of experience that I have. All I know is I've tried the wrong answer before. Anyways, enough yammering.
My job is a non-IT technical support rep. I've been here for 6 months, and am really mostly here while I finish schooling (in 1 year, business diploma). Essentially, it's a glorified call center position, answering phones and replying to emails. I work for a company that provides products in sizes ranging from consumer-level up to municipal, or at least they did until being purchased by a large conglomerate a year ago, which assimilated their competitor company with this one, and moved everything except the consumer level products to a sister company. Anyways, for reasons I don't understand, one of the engineers has been continuing to provide support on the municipal systems, which obviously requires a certain amount of on-site time as opposed to the pure telephone/email situation in which I am currently located. The decision has been made for support of these systems to be moved to my department, and they want me to be the person to take it on. More specific and immediately, they want me to travel with the person who's currently responsible to start learning.
My immediate question was "does it come with a raise?" No, it doesn't. The hiring manager told me when being hired that wage adjustments are only made at the end of year review (that alone is rather strange to me - been here almost 7 months without any sort of review), and that is what they are sticking to. No, my decision to accept this additional responsibility does not come with additional compensation, however it will (supposedly) be reflected in my end of year review, allowing for a higher raise at that point.
TL;DR: | My employer wants me to take on additional responsibilities that include travel and trust that while it does not come with additional compensation that it will be, determined at my end of year review. Take it and trust or force something better? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [20M] have been seeing someone [21F] for about a month and a half, communication with her has become difficult lately
POST: We only started talking to each other since the tail end of December, but we've known each other for about a year and a half. We first met in class in my first semester, but I never really talked to her unless I needed to. In December we matched on a dating app and it pretty much took off from there. We'd talk for countless hours about random bullshit and the conversations never really ended. I invited her to attend a party with me where we spent to entire night talking to each other and drinking rather than mingling with the rest of the crowd.
Since then, we've seen each other once a week when we both have breaks in our work schedule. Regularly seeing her is difficult because of her class/work schedule and my own work schedule and the fact she still lives in the college town we met in and I moved back home (about an hour and a half away). We have both had a blast the times we've spent together minus a little awkwardness on my part that I'm learning to overcome.
As mentioned before, we used to talk for hours on end until here lately. This past week it's been a bit of a struggle to catch something back from her. I asked her if anything was wrong Wednesday night and she apologized stating that schoolwork and sorority business was on her mind, to which I completely understood. Now it's gotten to where we'll exchange two messages each if that, and I'm left hanging. I can't ask her if she would like some space because conversations can't even take off. I'm stuck in a dilemma where talking to her is one of the few things that get me through the day and it's just not happening.
I don't know what to do. I don't want to come off all crazed and possessive/clingy but I feel like I'm being pushed away. I am more than willing to give her space if she wants it, but I can't be sure if that's what she wants or not.
TL;DR: | Used to talk to this girl all day, nearly everyday for a month and a half now, but now no talky and lots of confusion. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Connecting with a girl I cut out of my life (advice/thoughts from the Ladies).
POST: Hello,
I am a 30 year old male. I have had one true love in my life that I feel so strongly for. I knew her since middle school. As time went, we hung out, became close friends. She lit up my life - a smile and a "hi" were all I needed from her to turn the worst day into a great day. We drifted in High School, then came back in late HS and stayed connected in College. I expressed my feelings, she didnt feel the same. We drifted apart - eventually I cut her out of my life. It was pretty cold turkey - went from hanging out to ignoring her as i couldnt stand seeing her with other guys (dating). At the time, I felt it was the best thing for me but now looking back I do feel bad.
Now, I still think about her. Nobody has ever made me feel the way I did when with her. I have reached the point that I want to try again at her and contact her. I do not believe she is married. It would take some digging for me to find her but believe i could (IE facebook).
My question is, for the ladies, if you had a close friend that cut you out of their life, then tried to re-connect with you 10 years later, would you? Would you believe people change and maybe date them? Would you forgive them? Would you understand what they were going through and understand it? I feel like this girl is the only girl that can bring me happiness and I really want to reconnect with her.
TL;DR: | Ladies, would you reconnect with a guy that had feelings for you over 10 years ago that you rejected but he wants to reconnect with you and maybe try again? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Update: Me [24F] with my BF [27 M] of 8 months, he moved in and we need to talk about it
POST: Here is my original post.
I brought up the conversation with him. He insisted that he wasn't living with me, and that as soon as he bought a bed he wouldn't be staying as often. I was very upset, but I knew he had to get up for work in the morning so I didn't escalate the conversation. I hadn't prepared for him to respond in that way and I wanted to get my thoughts in order.
The next evening I asked how he sees our relationship and his goals for our future. He didn't answer the question. I asked if he thought about these kinds of things, like marriage and family, not necessarily in relation to me. He responded with, "What do you want me to say?" I was honest with him, I didn't really cared how he answered, I just wanted to know what he was thinking and how he was feeling. He got very upset and said he didn't like talking about these things and that he should have just gone home. After I started crying (more out of frustration, than sadness) he said "I want to be with you for a long time, we are going to have little black babies."
I ended the conversation after that, for many reasons. He often teases me about my race, while this wasn't necessarily a mean spirited thing to say, he frequently mentions or comments on my blackness in joking, condescending terms. I also don't want to be with someone who doesn't have any thoughts about their future with a long term partner. All of his goals and ideas about the future involve only himself. This is totally fine, he is a young man figuring things out, but I don't think it's unreasonable for me to ask him about our future together considering how much time we spend together/how much he relies on me in a lot of ways.
Should I end this?
TL;DR: | My bf has been unofficially living with me. When I talked to him about it he insisted he doesn't, and revealed he has no real thoughts about our future. I'm thinking maybe I should end this. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [18,f] wanting a relationship with a good friend [22,m]
POST: I am a female, who recently enlisted in the US Army Reserves. I am a woman that is very persistent and determined in getting what I want, and achieving the path that I want my life to follow. I broke up with my bf of 8 months; he was lacking support for my goals, and never shared his own goals with me.
After the break up, my friend [22,m] has been talking to me more and more. I have known him for around a year as a really close friend because we were coworkers, and we both actively participate together in the community. My friend is very shy, but others around me, and myself, can tell that he likes me; I like him as well.
As we continue texting, I feel that he is afraid to further our relationship. I am leaving for basic training at the end of this month, but I feel that my friend could help me in a relationship, and that we both generally are very well with each other. I just feel lost though, because I feel hesitation between both him and I to get any closer. Should I stay friends with him, or continue trying to pursue a relationship?
TL;DR: | My friend [22,m] and I want to get into a relationship I feel, but both of us are hesitant because I am leaving for basic training at the end of the month. Please help! |
SUBREDDIT: r/running
TITLE: Any stories from races?
POST: My first official race was a 5k for my Aunt, who I had lost 6 months before to cancer. I'd been training for months, And raised over $120 to help the fight.
On the day of the race I find the girls from our group, and we all wait together, chatting. 15 minuets before a warm-up plays on a big screen, and then it's 5 minuets to the race. I'm excited, keeping the music ready to go.
When we start the race, it's a slight bottleneck out, then the road widens out. I keep a good pace, and say hello to some of the other runners. At a half mile from the finish, everyone's tired but we just keep going. Someone jokes as they pass, and it's met with good jest.
I hit 500 feet from the finish and sprint the last part, tired and happy. My twin yells 27:32 at me, and I realize I ran a lot faster than the 30-40 minuet time I thought I'd receive. But the one thing that made the race worthwhile, was my dad holding back tears and crushing me in a bear hug, sobbing how proud he was. It had all been for his sister.
TL;DR: | Ran my first 5k for m aunt, finish faster than I thought at 27:32, dad cries. :) Best. Day. Yet. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [26M] with my Girlfriend [24F] of nine months, found a picture of a text exchange featuring "I love you"s to another guy.
POST: Hi /r/relationships, I honestly never thought I'd be posting in here but I could do with some advice from you folks.
We were at a regular quiz we attend with some of her family and friends. I recently got a cat, and my gf was showing her mum some pictures of it on her phone. As she was flipping through to find a particular one, I saw a screenshot she'd taken of a conversation she's had in WhatsApp with a guy.
She's mentioned him before, they've met for drinks after work and known each other for a few years as far as I know. The convo basically went:
Him: blah blah nice to see you blah blah "I love you, you know, maybe one day we'll be together"
Her: "I love you too, one day"
This motherfucker is engaged. I've been with my gf for about 9 months now, we're reasonably serious, still live apart and haven't really had any in-depth discussions about our future, but this seems a bit weird behavior on her part. She is quite vocal about her disgust with cheaters and losers.
I may have got the wrong end of the stick and she was just trying to shut him up or just agree with him to hurry up and end the conversation, but why take a snapshot of the chat? She told me she deleted whatsapp the other day as she was sick of it, but must have taken this before she got rid of the app itself.
I'm looking for advice on how to confront her about it and not jump to conclusions really, I want her to explain it but I don't know if she'll be truthful.
Ugh
TL;DR: | Saw a pic of a WhatsApp convo on my girl's phone where she exchanged "I love You"s with another guy. What do? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Help me [28 M] figure out if I should ask her [26 F] out again!
POST: Met a girl a few weeks ago through orientation for a graduate program. Exchanged numbers and she implied that we should hang out. I took this and a couple of other signs as interest on her part.
A couple of weeks pass and there's a little back and forth. I ask if she'd like to catch a movie and she agrees to Saturday night. She also implies that there are good restaurants nearby, so we tack on dinner before the movie.
Dinner is very smooth and the conversation is flowing. We have tons on common interests and traits. Things are going great as we head to the theatre and get seated for the movie. Now I picked this movie when we were making plans not expecting her tobe interested in it (I was pleasantly surprised when was willing to give it a shot).
Things seemed different after the movie. There was lots of yawning on both our parts (we're both early risers). Although she hadn't touched her phone openly the entire night, she was now sending quick texts as I drove her back to her car. The conversation just seemed a bit slow at this point. When I got to her car and before I could say a nice goodbye/give her a hug, she said goodbye pretty quickly and hopped out without any significant words about future plans.
I texted her later that night to make sure she got home safe and received a quick message back also thanking me for inviting her and for dinner.
Now this was more a pre-date than a first date for me, but perhaps I read her wrong. I'd like to ask her out on an "official" date, but I'm getting an un-interested read based on the end of last night. We'll be in the same classes in a few weeks so I also don't want to be over-aggressive in asking her out.
What do you think? Am I reading this wrong? Should I ask her out or wait for some signs from her?
TL;DR: | Hang out with girl on what might be a date. Goes well at first but the goodbye is quick and abrupt. Should I ask her out again? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: FWB just admitted he wants more...feeling pressured. What do I do? [F19], [M22].
POST: Friends and former coworker turned friend with benefits. Hooking up on and off for two years. Both recently out of committed relationships and looking for nothing more than fun. I'm totally turned on by this guy...he is charming, witty, super sexy, and I find myself not being able to keep my hands off of him. I do really enjoy his company and could see a future with him, but just not right now. Problem is, he thinks now is the right time. We both said from the beginning it was nothing more than moving on from our past relationships. Last night he told me that he wanted to further pursue our relationship while intoxicated, so I kind of shrugged it off...but then this morning before I left, he told me that's truly how he felt. How do I continue this amazing thing I have going without hurting his feelings and ruining the possibility of something more in the future?
TL;DR: | Hooking up with super sexy FWB. He suddenly wants more. Not ready to commit quite yet. Do I end it now or give this a try? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Losing my boyfriend to online games...
POST: Hello, I have made a post here before and I regret coming back to ask for more help. I am 17/f and he is 19/m. We have been dating for nine months. It used to never be this bad. I really do want to think for myself, but my decisions aren't always good when it comes to bigger decisions...
I'm trying to hold onto him because I really don't want to lose my boyfriend over an online game. I think it's pathetic and knowing that I'll lose to something that doesn't even matter in real life is what's holding me back from breaking up with him. But now, it's getting worse.
Anyway.. I need help convincing him to stop playing this online game because he's playing it the first thing when he wakes up. His hours are fucked up(to the point where he is totally nocturnal, resulting in me trying to change my hours to talk to him), and won't listen to me when I tell him to stop.
I will have to wait 15-30 minutes for a reply from him because he never checks his cellphone and seems to neglect my barrage of messages on Steam.
I'm starting to lose it now because I feel essentially "cheated on" by this game addiction. I messaged him tonight about how I am tired and I wanted to call him before I slept, and he started a game. I had to wait 15 minutes only to get a reply of "Serious game."
I want to tell him to come back to me when he stops this game addiction and starts valuing me over playing online with his friends, but I'm afraid that he will not listen to me and/or never come back. I really do care for him a lot but I'm just not getting the same attention back. Hell, he talks to his cousin in London more than me.
TL;DR: | Boyfriend plays too much League! I want to get the message across that I want him to cut it down, but I don't want to break up with him. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [19 M] am clearly the third choice for her [19 F]
POST: So basically I am like a girl and could see things going places with her. She hangs out with my group of friends and has since the beginning of first semester, but as I am thinking of asking her out and changing our relationship. We are already really close friends and have been for a while now. I am beginning to observe her behavior closer to see if she would be interested in me and am noticing she flirts with another one of my friends a lot. She had already asked out one of my friends earlier this semester (he politely yet firmly declined as he has a complicated relationship with someone back home). While she and I flirt and get along great she usually hangs out with another one of my friends over me (while nothing romantic has happened yet, he has made it also clear he will not date anyone taller than him, which she is).
I want to ask her out, but I have a fear of be rejected. I don't think she thinks of me the same way I think of her. What do I do?
TL;DR: | I think I would be her third choice to date. I think she wants one of my friends to ask her out. I fear asking her out will lead to rejection and a lost friend. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My [26 F] fiance [26 M] (engaged for 1 year, dated 1 year prior) is the biggest baby ever when sick.
POST: Okay I may just need to vent. And warning part of this is might be graphic. My fiance got a bad stomach bug and was sick starting at 4 AM yesterday and it lasted all day. I was super compassionate, rubbed his back, got water, cleaned up the mess, went out to get meds and fluids at 5 AM. I set him up in bed with everything he needed and kept checking on him all day.
But I can't help but think he is really milking this. I understand feeling rotten and whining a bit, but it droned on all day yesterday as I waited on him hand and foot. On top of the whining, he refused to use a bucket or the toilet when sick.
You may be wondering..well where did he puke then? In my tub. My tub, meaning not his bathroom upstairs. Mine. Where I like to take bathes often. After he was done wrenching the first time and I cleaned it up, I kindly asked if he could use the toilet next time. He said he was afraid it was going to come out both ends. I stepped back..okay I guess i can get that. But don't most people hold a bucket then while they sit on the toilet?
Then it happened. A few hours later as this raged on, he shit and puked some more in my tub. I took care of him. Cleaned it up. Went out and bought drain cleaner as I deeply feared it stopping the pipe up.
Its gross and he acted like this was no big deal. He would bleach it when he feels better. Well I couldn't wait that long. So I bleached everything. He doesn't see why I'm frustrated and essentially said I am a bad caretaker. Now my feelings are hurt and I don't think I'll ever be able to use my tub again.
TL;DR: | my fiance is sick, shit my tub, and thinks i'm the bad caretaker for being frustrated. am i being unreasonable to think he could use the toilet and be a little bit appreciative of my efforts? |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Reddit, what was your "YES! WE DIDN'T GET CAUGHT!" moment, only to have actually been caught? I'll start.
POST: I usually go away for the summers, to visit my dad and my step sister. My sister was always one to get into some trouble, involving boys and parties. So, one night, the parents went out camping and left us kids at home. We were probably 16 and 17 at the time. Our original plan was to have a quiet night in with some movies and snacks. NOPE! My sister set up a huge party down by the river. Tons of people showed up. Well, hours pass and it's time to go home, only a short walk. Well, she wants to bring home her fling of the evening, and his friend wanted to come home with me. I said no to this whole idea, no one listened. So, here we all are, in a camper trailer outside our house. One thing leads to another with my sister and her guy, I punch his friend in the head for trying to get with me and go into the house. The guys left about an hour before our parents got home. We thought we were safe and didn't get caught. No one knew anything. That's is until the next day when my sisters "boyfriend's" friend came back that morning and asked our mom, "Hey, I left my hat here last night in the camper... Can I have it back?" Needless to say, we were in BIG trouble.
TL;DR: | Sister brought boys back to camper one night, thought we got away with it. One boy came back in the morning and asked our parents for his hat back. Big trouble. |
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU by making a girl think I was stalking her
POST: So today I was at my local Wal-Greens to pick up some ear plugs, as I was waiting in line I noticed a girl in front of me looked like someone I knew in Middle school. I don't live in the same area I lived when I was in middle school, I live about 60 or 70 miles away. The girl had Black hair with a dyed blonde streak, so when I got back on my computer at home I looked up the girl on facebook. Sure enough She now lives in my area and I checked her pictures and her hair is black with a blonde streak. So I innocently decided to send her a friend request to tell her I saw her at wal greens and to ask how shes been and all that. a few hours went by and she never accepted, I went back to her profile and see that she turned off the ability to send her a friend request, meaning she didn't remember me and was worried that the stranger who was in line behind her found her on facebook shortly after.
TL;DR: | Saw a girl I went to school with in a store, sent friend request, she doesn't remember me, thinks a stranger tracked her down online. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: (M/19) Trying to become more than friends with college friend not over her ex (F/19)
POST: There's a girl that lives very close to my home that I also go to university with, I'll call her Deb. I met Deb shortly after she broke up with her boyfriend of 3 years. Over the course of our first year at school we were really good friends. Since we've gone on break we've kept I contact and have been hanging out.
We made plans to go somewhere to participate in a mural and I had the idea of trying to turn it into a date. I texted her and drove to her job to ask her and she told me she wasn't looking for anything at the time. I still said I wanted to paint the mural and she agreed, on the half hour drive back home I found myself getting agitated because almost every time we hung out, she mentioned how she hated being single, making her previous explanation seem like a lie.
I texted her saying I didn't really want to go hang out because being lied to didn't really sit well. She told me she wasn't over her ex boyfriend, and that she didn't want to ruin our friendship with a relationship and that she's been depressed and hasn't been able to be intimate with anyone. I really like her, but due to my own past experiences I'm having trouble wholly believing what she said based on her actions. I'm not sure if I should stick around and just be her friend and see if she gets over him and try again? Or if she really was giving me an excuse because she wanted me around. It's nothing personal towards her but I felt as though I've been in this type of situation too many times and I always end up getting hurt.
TL;DR: | I asked out always college friend and she said she still wasn't over her ex and didn't want to jeopardize our friendship with a relationship. Should I stick around and give her time or move on? |
SUBREDDIT: r/legaladvice
TITLE: Estate, Probate, and sale
POST: Hello Reddit, I am from Grand Rapids Michigan in the US and I am in desperate need of advice. My dad passed away a couple of months ago at the end of March. He owned a small business of 3 regular employees including myself as well as the building that the business was in. The building contains 2 residential apartments and 2 business locations one being the business I am running right now. My mom (who is the sweetest lady you will ever meet) has decided to sell the building (which I think is an awful idea in the long run from an accounting stand point but that doesn't really enter in in a legal way). The sale of the building will be an incredible burden on the business so I will have no choice but to move as the potential buyer will charge us a much higher rent than we can afford. I have no desire to take my mom to court over this but I am making sure that everything she is doing is legal. Basically, my dad did not have a will so all of his estate is in probate and will be for at least another month. Given this can my mom even sell the building? None of the money from the sale of the building will go to anyone but her at this point and I can't believe that that's how probate works. My mom was my dad's only wife and I am one of 5 kids he had with her. Does the estate get split up among us kids at all. The day my mom put the building on the market an offer was put in for 300,000 our counter offer was 320,000 and they have accepted.
TL;DR: | My dad passed away and my mom is trying to sell a building he owned, do I get any say in the matter? |
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU By asking for Fabian
POST: Happened like an hour ago.. I need new tires so I shopped around and made some calls. The dealership where I normally get my car serviced had the best deal after talking to them on the phone. It was about $100 cheaper than anywhere else so I went there right away.
I called ahead and the guy that gave me the tire quote told me to ask for him. When I got here no one could find him so this other guy did my order under Fabian's name... After an hour and no tire bill yet I asked about it and they still couldn't find him. So they started really looking for him.
Fabian was found in their loaner across the street at McDonald's with some mad dog 20/20 drinking in the car
TL;DR: | I asked for Fabian at the dealership and they found him with mad dog 20/20 across the street in the dealer's loaner |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [24 F] with my SO [25 M] duration 2 months, help me make him feel as good as he makes me feel?
POST: So, I first met M through mutual friends and interests about 4 years ago. Since then Id been in a fairly serious relationship that has since ended. My best friend and his best friend are dating, and during my break up and subsequent break from dating I found myself spending more and more time with M. Early on I tried to make a move, which he declined due to my mental instability at the time, and I *may* have got with one of his other close friends around that time as well. I didn't handle my break up very well.
ANYWAY, after a while it became very clear that he was completely there for me, and basically stepped up to this "boyfriend role" with me in my life without us confirming anything or without anything happening between us. We sorted that all out, and he's just been, so amazing. He didn't rush us into anything, and for the first two month and before we got together he would wake me up in the mornings with breakfast and coffee if I stayed over.
A few things have happened, minor things that made me a little uncomfortable or scared, and so he burnt me CDs to help me feel better about things after we talked things out.
I know that no one is perfect, and I know I have done things to hurt his feelings (unintentionally) as well, and I'm just seeking ideas for things I could do? I've never been in a relationship where I almost feel like I need to ask him to stop treating me so well just because I feel like I can't possibly reciprocate.
TL;DR: | So any ideas/advice on ways I can show him through, say, acts of service that convey how I'm feeling? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: Should I [21/F] still believe in love?
POST: I have been dating my current [also first] boyfriend for 6 months. We did date last year for 8 months, but I broke up with him before summer because he was emotionally distant. He's changed a lot now in that area I guess. He's more affectionate... but he still doesn't make me happy.
He loves me. A lot. He takes care of me and is supportive and usually understanding. He tries to calm me down when I'm upset and does nice and meaningful things for me. But our communication is awful... every time I try talk about an issue it makes him upset. When I try to correct or understand what he means, he gets upset that I assumed a negative meaning and tries to end the conversations. One time ending with, "whatever you want babe." Which just pissed me off... which made me cry... so then we had to resolve the issue...
Talking to him makes me very anxious. He interrupts me a lot and if I interrupt him he gets angry, doesn't listen and waits for me to finish, then says what he wanted to. He misunderstands me a lot and doesn't tell me what he's feeling until I work it out of him...
His parents are also literally insane. To the point where they would judge me and scrutinize me - if they knew about me (they don't for other reasons we don't need to get into). I don't think I could or want to deal with them as in-laws...
Also in trivial terms: he's allergic to cats. I love cats... I seriously call myself the cat-whisperer... they make me so happy. I don't really care for or understand dogs...
So what do I do or what should I hope for? I want to find someone that I really love... but will I find someone who actually cares for me as much as he does? Do I fight for happiness or look somewhere else? Does real love even actually exist?
TL;DR: | My boyfriend loves me and is great to me, but doesn't make me happy. Should I find love somewhere else? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: My Fiancé is Depressed(with good reason). What can I do?
POST: I'm male, 25 years old. She's female, 27 years old. We've been together for almost 10 years and are engaged to be married next fall. She's a beautiful, friendly, compassionate person, but she's been pretty down for the past couple years for various reasons.
She started at a community college after high school, but quit after 2 years due to not knowing what she wants to major in or have a career in. That was 5-6 years ago. She periodically takes a class or two but never carries through with any consistency. She doesn't have a "dream job" in mind, which has left her feeling very directionless.
In Fall of 2012, she was diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis. It's not super severe or debilitating, mostly numbness and tingling for 4-6 weeks per year. The rest of the time, she's fully functional with no major issues.
She's worked office jobs for the past 5 years or so, but hates every one of them. With her [relatively] recent MS diagnosis, it's important that she have a job that provides her with insurance, so she feels stuck where she's at. I just finished school so I hope to find a well-paying job soon, which would hopefully allow me to provide for the both of us, but who knows how long that will take.
All of this is compounded by the fact that she is getting older and doesn't have any notable schooling or achievements and really doesn't know what career path she wants to take.
I do my best to be understanding, always offering suggestions and ideas for careers, but she usually finds one thing about every job and shoots it down. I'm just at a loss. Does anyone know how I can help her?
TL;DR: | She's depressed and has no school or career achievements or goals. She has MS. She feels stuck at her current job for insurance reasons. I don't know how to help. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [M25] am starting to lose faith in women and I'm not sure what to do. Cheated on by 4/4 girlfriends. Advice.
POST: I've had 4 girlfriends in my life and they've all cheated on me. The first was in high school, so I wrote it off as teenage stupidity. In college I was cheated on by two girls but I convinced myself that it was just college girls. Two months ago I walked in on my girlfriend of 11 months cheating. Literally two weeks before our anniversary.
I can feel myself becoming bitter. Questioning whether there are women who truly want love. Questioning whether I am simply not attractive enough to keep a woman. Questioning whether I deserve a decent woman.
Today I was talking with a girl from work and she seemed cool but I didn't ask her out because in the back of my mind I knew that she would just cheat on me eventually. I once looked upon women with awe. I mean, they're so beautiful and graceful. But over time I've become cynical and I'm not sure how to change it. I have always been the type of guy that wanted a relationship. I thought that I would have found the woman I was going to spend my life with by now. The more I read on online about cheating spouses the more hopeless it seems. I just need some advice.
TL;DR: | I [M25] am starting to lose faith in women and I'm not sure what to do. Cheated on by 4/4 girlfriends. Advice. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [20] am planning on breaking up with my bf [20] of 4 years. Can anyone help me?
POST: After years and years of shit, my rose tinted glasses are finally beginning to crack and I'm beginning to see things how my friends have been telling me after all these years.
He's always spoken to girls throughout our relationship, he's cheated once, he lies, doesn't spend ANY time or money (money isn't the issue ofc but not buying me a birthday gift or even sending me flowers every once in a while won't break your bank), puts his mates first and me last as a priority.
He's always said he would change etc and as far as I could see he had - he gave me all of his passwords etc and I could see he was being good. Until I found whatsapp calls with suspicious people called "Allan" - who even whatsapp calls? He reacted crazily when I found these calls, and when I went to find the messages with "Allan", he literally threw his phone across the room and smashed the screen. Shady right? If he had nothing to hide I'm sure he wouldn't have minded me reading a nice conversation with "good old Allan"...
Anyway, he's currently gone to visit extended family abroad for 3-4 weeks. I'm very very close to his family here, and within his culture meeting the family is a HUGE deal and one where you only bring a girl home if you are going to marry her.
Anyway, I really want to call it off and give myself some time like a few months to reevaluate what I want and also maybe give himself time to figure out what he wants etc. But he's abroad (I haven't heard anything off him and it's been 3 days which is another ugh) but he doesn't have internet at the moment.
Should i wait for him to ring me and what do I say on the phone? He will probably be manipulative and argue with the fact "its been 4 years and you're doing this over the phone whilst I'm abroad?" but I just can't wait another 3 weeks with this inside me! Help!
TL;DR: | Decided its time to get rid of cheating, manipulative boyfriend, who had just gone abroad to visit family for 4 weeks. Unsure on how to break up/what to say... |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me[17F] with my bf[16M] of 8 months, keeping secrets from eachother
POST: Our problem is he's lying to me about things like getting a job behind my back, after we both promised to wait until next summer to both get jobs. We agreed to this so we can spend more time with each other while we still have the rest of this summer.
I also think he has lied to me about other things on several different occasions. As I said he keeps lots of secrets from not only me, but his family as well. Also sometimes it seems like he doesn't want to spend time with me, instead of calling me, he'll be on reddit, I know this because I found his reddit account and he would be posting around the same time I would try to text him.
TL;DR: | My boyfriend is very secretive and always hides things from me and his family, and doesn't seem to want to spend as much time with me. Please help, I really think he's the one. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My [17f] SO is struggling to deal with stress, I [17M] don't know what to do
POST: So my girlfriend of 2 years is really struggling with balancing school, me, and work. Today she texted me saying she can't do it anymore and that having a boyfriend is too much for her and she feels like she is neglecting me by working and going to school. She gets so stressed over it and i support her and even when i assure her that she is not neglecting me or making me feel bad at all by asking for space for school etc. she still feels that way mentally.
Today, she told me she needed space until the summer and wants to break up for the rest of this school year and just be friends to finish out school and then start it back up. She is currently taking 5 AP classes and works like 20 hours a week. I have been supportive of her the entire time through this and have always encouraged her to do well, but she is VERY set on her decision and unless i can think of a compromise, she wants to end it because she keeps saying she can't take doing all these things while dating me... I'm very torn on what to do... i love her and its very frustrating seeing her go through this and i know the only time she feels stress-free is when she is actually with me.
I feel like she is overworking herself but i don't know how to tell her that cutting me out of her life might not be the best option, but i don't know what to do in this situation, so i'm coming here to /r/relationships to ask for you guys to help me. Any ideas or compromises we could do so that maybe she will feel less stressed and can date me while doing all these other school related and work related things?
TL;DR: | GF feels very overwhelmed and i know that she is over working herself but i don't know how to fix this and make her feel less stress without cutting me from her life for now. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: There's this boy [16M] in my [14F] class I want to be friends with. How do I approach him, if I should at all?
POST: There's a boy called C in two of my classes who seems quite lonely. I don't ever see him talk to anybody, but when I have heard him talk he has an American accent. My family's American and we're in the UK, which makes me really want to talk to him more because people make fun of my accent. When the teacher talks or a student brings a lot of attention to themself, everybody but C will turn to look. He seems really absorbed in his own world.
I don't really have any friends, and I think we'd have a lot in common since he seemingly prefers to be alone and keep to himself. But I'm really nervous to talk to him, and I'm very insecure and I make awkward conversation. I'm also terrified of being rejected. C is very handsome, in his own way, and I feel quite frumpy and uncomfortable next to somebody like him. What should I say? Should I approach him? Should I let him be?
TL;DR: | There's a lonesome quiet boy in my class who I want to make friends with, but I'm really insecure and anxious around new people. How should I approach him? |
SUBREDDIT: r/loseit
TITLE: NSV - Out performed a friend during a move who has been doing P90X for a year
POST: A friend of mine (we'll call him Pete) has been working out for about a year doing P90X. I don't know how consistent Pete's been, but he started roughly about a year ago, and his wife has mentioned he works out at least 3 times a week.
I'd say he definitely has that "cut" look - hardly any fat on him to speak of, besides some moobs and a bit of a belly, but he definitely appears to be in better shape than me.
I returned to the gym about 3 months ago, focusing on increasing my strength and flexibility in order to become more active with the long term goal of getting down below the obesity line (currently over the morbid BMI line).
We're both about 5'10". I've easily got a hundred pounds on him, but we both have about the same bone structure - same shoulder width and such.
Anyway Pete and his wife were moving and they asked my wife and I to assist them. During the move I found myself able to lift heavier things than Pete and found that my endurance lasted significantly longer than his. He was tired and out of breath about half way through the move, but I powered through the whole day without ever feeling the need to crash.
I'm sure a lot of it can be attributed to the difference in work out styles and intensities. Made me realize you can be in "better shape" concerning things like strength, flexibility and endurance than someone who has less fat than you.
It is also feasible that he didn't sleep well the night before and/or had eaten shitty for the last couple days or something.
Also, the thing that really did it for me was that Pete's wife took my wife aside at the end of the day and said, "Wow... spacedude86 really impressed me today, he didn't complain or look tired during the move at all, unlike Pete. His manliness rating just went up in my book."
Major ego boost, and vindicated all the work I've put in at the gym.
/humblebrag
TL;DR: | I kicked ass helping a friend and his wife move, while he faked exhaustion to get me to do most of the heavy lifting. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [22 M] with my GF [22 F] of 4 months, she was invited to hang out by one of his friends, she asked if she was allowed to, I said no.
POST: Hey Everyone,
My girlfriend and I have been in a relationship for four months. I have known her since May 2015. > Yesterday, my girlfriend told me she was invited to the cinema by someone she used to work with. He is also an ex-boyfriend she dated for two weeks. Girlfriend asked me if I would be uncomfortable with the situation. I said, "Yes, I'd feel very uncomfortable because the cinema is something we do as a couple."
She said she is not going anymore. She said she felt like she had to ask me permission. I am her first boyfriend in two years. The whole thing made her feel a bit stupid.
I told her it is not about asking permission. I am not her father. I said it was about being okay with one another. I didn't want her to go because when they dated, I am sure they did sexual things together. I don't want to think about that. I do trust my girlfriend, she said she does not have feelings for him. I am just not sure he doesn't have feelings for her.
I really don't like the idea of a guy teasing my girl and trying to destroy everything we've worked on. And I know she wouldn't leave me (not by him lol) but it's really annoying to know that he's there like a lice in your pants.
So I think my question is if I was wrong by asking her not to go, she didn't get mad, she was very understanding but I'm worried she will begrudge me because of that. Have you ever been in a situation like this? What to do/say next?
TL;DR: | GF got asked by his ex to hang out together, she asks me how I'd feel and I said 'very uncomfortable, please don't'. Am I a being an idiot? Sorry for my english!! |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [21 M] with my Friends [21 F of 5 years | 21 F of 4 months], Both of them want more than a friendship.
POST: So I met this girl, will say her name is Sarah, on omegle 5 years ago when it was just a harmless random messaging site. We exchanged emails kept in communication for all the years and finally she came to America to experience our culture, and we saw each other and hit it off. We started dating and after awhile we broke up because we were just having problems. We keep in touch everyday(texting) and we thought of getting back together after some time, but just not right now.
In the mean time I met another girl, will say her name is Mandy, we started talking and we skype every night now. It's been two months since we have started talking a little more serious and I feel like we are both heading down a path towards a relationship. I am going to Florida during spring break to see my family, and she wants to meet up with me. I agreed, but I know it's going to be more than a friendly meet up.
Now here lies the problem. I am not in a relationship with either of them, but I have feelings for both of them and they both state they have feelings for me. So how would I go about handling this situation? I don't want to loose any friends over this, but I have a feeling I don't have any options here.
TL;DR: | Both friends want more than a friendship and I have feelings for them both. How do I handle this situation and how do I not loose a friend in the process? |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: How do i tell my S.O. I was taken advantage of?
POST: This was a couple of months ago, it was in a foreign country- I was at a party and I got really really drunk. I blacked out and I dont remember anything except, I woke up with stranger kissing me and his pants off. My body felt somewhat sore but I knew something was wrong.
I know this is partially my fault since I got irresponsible and got way too drunk. But I've been dealing with this guilty conscience for a couple of months now. I'm **BEYOND** scared to tell him because he always mentions that cheating is completely unforgivable and will never speak to me again. This is the love of my life, I cant risk losing him. I know many may not consider this cheating (and I don't really think it is either) but it doesn't change the fact that I was with someone else. I feel super guilty, dirty and used. I constantly think about this and its killing me to bare this secret. I've been really depressed for months don't know what is worse. Keeping this secret, telling him and risk him leaving me, he'll accept me and understand but will never trust me again, or dealing with the fact I was raped.
So here I am, wondering if and how I should tell. Please, please help.
TL;DR: | Was taken advantage of months ago, never told BF. Scared if I tell him, he may leave me because he may consider it cheating. Feel dirty with myself, lonely and scared. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I (m24) admit that I messed up but I feel that my wife (f24) of 5 months, is somewhat overreacting
POST: First off I just want to start off by saying I know that I am in the wrong here and that I fucked up so if you must criticize me, go for it, but I already know this problem was my fault so there not really a point in telling me again.
My wife and I have been together for 6 years and married for only 5 months. To make a long story short, I used to work with a girl about a year ago who my wife (girlfriend at the time) did not like. I dont really understand why she did not like her but she felt that I had a thing for her. There is no denying that she was a pretty girl but I never wanted anything with her or tried to make anything happen. She was strictly a co-worker that i never even talked to outside of work. I truly love my wife and would do anything for her. But here comes where i fucked up.
Earlier this week I had the day off from work and was bored and for some reason this girl popped into my head. I was on Facebook and got curious and decided to do a quick search just to see what she was up to. I didn't think it was that big of a deal but my wife went threw the computer history and saw that I had searched for her. She then flipped out and broke my new laptop and a few other things of mine in her fit of rage.
I know that I was wrong and that I shouldn't have been "creeping" on other girls facebooks when I am married but at the same time I feel like she is over reacting a little bit.
What I am wondering is what I can possibly do to make this better. I have apologized and admitted that I was wrong but she is still very upset and feels that I don't think she is pretty which is why I am searching other girls on facebook.
Sorry if this isnt the type of thing I should be posting here,I have never posted in relationships before but I just feel lost and scared.
TL;DR: | I looked up an ex-coworker on facebook that my wife didnt like, she found out I did and flipped out on me. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me[24F] and my BF[21M] got in to an argument about him liking other girls photos.
POST: My boyfriend and I have been seeing each other for about 6 months and so far it is going very well. However, today while having a conversation with my boyfriend about facebook, instgram etc. I asked him if he still "likes" photos of girls selfies. He first denied that he did but I asked him again and he did not say anything.
I wanted to truly tell him how I felt about him "liking" these kinds of photos and how it makes me feel as his girlfriend. I was not saying he can not like any of their photos or anything just simply the ones were girls are half naked because it makes me feel uncomfortable.
After I asked him if he thought that would be okay he got very upset about it. He told me that I was being to controlling and then did not talk really want to talk to me after.
I am not asking him to delete anything or stop "liking" photos completely, just the inappropriate ones of his friends. Are their any other girls that have this issue? Am I being to controlling? I am not trying to be but it is something that bothers me.
TL;DR: | Boyfriend is "liking" inappropriate photos of his friends. Got very upset when I told him it bothered me. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskDocs
TITLE: Missing my Atlas
POST: Good morning and thank you for taking the time to read this.
A little back story first, I'm 27 years old. Back in 2013, I was in the Army and was going through a medical discharge board after being diagnosed with Celiacs Disease (found out too that im not symptomatic). I began claiming other ailments such as my lower back,, I was sent to a chiropractor weekly who helped pop my back. Well, the chiropractor decided he wanted to try and work on my neck so he ordered an xray for my neck before just started going to town on my neck. When he saw the results, he was like holy shit, I've never seen this in person, only in books. He then shows me my x ray compared to a "normal" x ray. He then says he doesn't believe the x ray techs missed this.. He tells me im missing my Atlas vertebrae and asks if I had ever taken a hard hit to the head or anything? I told him no but I was born at 27 weeks, and had no knowledge of this up until that point. My question is, can I expect any complications from this? My chiropractor said that there's cartilage there instead of the vertebrae and it looks pretty solid.
TL;DR: | I was born at 27 weeks, I'm missing my Atlas vertebrae and am wondering if I will experience any crazy problems as I get older |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Has anyone delt with post-college depression? How did you get over it?
POST: I graduated college a little over a month ago and I've been really depressed since. I probably cried every day for the first 2 weeks after graduation. I feel like it's a mixture of a lot of things: fear of the "real" world, moving away from the college atmosphere, leaving my friends, etc.
I also regret that I was so focused on my GPA and didn't really try to date. I wasn't really expecting to find love in college, but looking back, I wish I would have done things differently. I've always told myself that I didn't need a man to make me happy, and I still believe that, but I've been feeling really lonely recently.
Some of my college friends live somewhat near me and I plan on hanging out with them, but I'm afraid of losing touch with them since we don't live within walking distance anymore. I still talk to a few of my high school friends, but I feel like I've changed so much in the past 4 years and I don't have much in common with them anymore. I moved around a lot when I was younger and I've never felt sad about leaving friends behind, so I thought I could cope with the separation, but I really can't. How do you meet people after college?
I moved back home and I have a vague plan for what I'm going to do in the next 2 years. I was lucky enough to get a bunch of grants and finish college with zero loans, so finding a job right away (to pay off the loans) isn't really a huge issue for me and I will probably work part-time to save up for grad school. My fear is that I won't be able to get into grad school and I'll be stuck with a lowly Bachelor's Degree in a lousy job market.
I've been a student for so long that life feels a bit empty after finishing college. Recently, it's been really hard to kill time and I just find myself thinking about how much I'm going to miss college.
TL;DR: | I'm depressed because I'm leaving college and worried about my future. Has anyone else faced this? How did you get over it? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Sex issues; is this worth it? I'm 25F, he is 25M
POST: Any advice is appreciated.
The guy I've been seeing for two or three months and I might be facing an insurmountable issue. He wants sex, like all the mother-effing time. I see him two or three days a week (staying overnight) and on every single visit, we've had sex at least twice. (That is, twice in perhaps the sixteen hours I usually visit him for).
I'm not really up to it most of the time. He knows my libido is basically non existent and always has been. It's weird; I feel an attraction to him that I've never felt for someone I've dated. Yet for me to want to have sex any more often than like once a week is a stretch....I'm the past I had taken care of my bodily needs, if you will, maybe three times a month.
He has a crazy high libido. We've talked about our differences and I have given him permission to find other outlets for his sexual frustrations (i.e. him finding casual sex partners; strictly for sexual release.) This doesn't seem to be enough for him. He wants me like four times a day, every day. Is this crazy, or is it just me? I don't mind sex most of the time. I just don't want it very often. I have sex with him because is so important to him. I enjoy sex with him, but never to completion, if you know what I mean.
He thinks I have "intimacy issues"; I privately think he's a sex addict. It's gotten to the point where I avoid seeing him more than like twice a week because I know I'm going to be sore or he's going to grumpy if I refuse (which I have only done once in our time together).
We care about each other a lot but this is driving us up the wall. Please; any thoughts?
TL;DR: | his libido is crazy high and mine is crazy low. Am I just an icy robot? is this salvageable? |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Hey Reddit, do you know anything about social movements?
POST: For my Critical Thinking Persuasion class, I am to conduct a 20 minute speech along with my 3 other group members. Problem is, I have mainly incompetent and lazy people as group members who don't really try to add to the subject or anything and often disagree. We still haven't chosen a social movement to talk about (only one more week left) and I need some ideas where persuasion is evident and I can break down that persuasion and research it with sources (excluding Wikipedia). Any ideas? By the way this is due next Wednesday so I'd appreciate replies ASAP. Thanks!
TL;DR: | I need a social movement where persuasion is evident and can be broken down into little parts and can be cited with 4 credible sources. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Sex in the public hot tub question...(Possibly NSFW)
POST: Today we went out had a fun time at the beach on the way back we stopped by a friends condo/apartment to use the community pool there and we had a great time.
The problem that happened was when a couple arrived and went straight for the hot tub...my friend, his girlfriend, their daughter, and myself were all using the pool itself which has a straight shot view of the hot tub. Maybe 5 minutes after the couple got in the hot tub, I noticed my friend trying to tell me something (whispering I think they are having sex) and low and behold she was riding him...
What mostly upset us was the fact we had a 6yr old with us having fun at the pool mind you this was around 8pm when the couple arrived. We decided it was time to leave and were very verbose on the fact we were leaving so they would stop and they did giving us that awkward stare of "did they see?" "do they know?"
I want to ask Reddit if they would do this? Or have they done this? How mad would you be if this was happening around your child? I am not a parent but I can tell you that if I was I would have been just as upset as my friend and his girlfriend. Also I can't imagine it being very hygienic being a semi public pool...and there is no lifeguard at this pool even stated on the signs "No lifeguard on duty."
TL;DR: | Went to the beach stopped by friends condo to use the community pool random, neighbors showed up and started having sex in hot tub while we had a 6yr old with us and it was only 8pm. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [16 M] and [16 F] were becoming pretty close. We haven't talked in over a year and a half.
POST: So as the title says, it's been a while since I talked to a girl I really liked - she's one of the first girls I felt that shared a lot of the same interests as me. We would talk like all class and it was pretty obvious we were flirting. After months of getting to know each other, summer came and school was over. I remember the last day of school that year she hugged me, so for the first time, I was 100 percent sure she liked me just as much as I liked her. I wicked excited to come back in September to talk to her again. Besides the few times we said hey in the halls, we haven't had any legit conversations since last school year. Months pass, and we don't even talk anymore. She isn't dating anyone right now and the guys she does talk to seem to only be friends. I wanna go up and talk to her again, but I see her talking to her friends and think, "it'll be awkward if I interrupt them, I'll just try again tomorrow." And tomorrow turns into the next week, then next week turns into next month. Even if she's just by herself, I can't get myself to do it. I don't know what to do
TL;DR: | Me and a girl were becoming pretty good friends, but we don't talk at all anymore. Not sure how to approach her. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [24M] am head over heels for this girl [24F], think of her constantly, but am not sexually attracted to her
POST: I am really into this girl I know. I think of her constantly, I try my damndest to be where she's at at all times, etc. When I see her my heart beats faster, I get excited, etc. It's a prototypical crush.
However what I've noticed with my crushes or the girls I fall hardest for is, I am **really, really** attracted to them, but that doesn't really show itself in a *sexual* urge sort of way. There are girls I see where you can totally see yourself having sex with them in all kinds of ways. With my crushes over the years (I've probably felt this intensely for maybe 3 girls, ever), though, I never really see them that way.
Do not get me wrong. I am not at all saying I find her ugly or unattractive, it's actually the complete opposite. I have those rose-tinted goggles where she's basically perfect. Her face, her freckles, her nose, her skin, her voice, her body - the way she is. I love all of it. Yet I don't get that strong "urge" to just go and have sex with her. I know it sounds all white-knightey or whatever, but I want to talk to her, hold her hand, cuddle, hang out, and just be with her more than anything.
I don't think this is abnormal, but at the same time I'm curious as to what other people typically feel with their crushes or S/Os where this happens. What do you guys typically feel with your crushes? Do you equally feel the need to have sex with them *and* be with them, or do you find that one outweighs the other?
TL;DR: | I am emotionally and physically head over heels for a girl, but I find that when I have crushes like this my interests lie more in being with and around them, rather than having sex with them despite my intense attraction towards them. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: So Netgear had us a tech support company for our router issues. They did nothing but try and sell us their $200 service plan, and installed their own programs on my PC. What other encounters of useless/scam tech support have you guys had?
POST: Let me provide some more information about the issue to you guys. We were having trouble with our wireless Netgear router, so we called their support line and they sent us to this off-site tech support company. The company in general is iYogi, which I found out is based in India (first red flag there). They said they had to use my computer specifically because it was the only one that was hardwired into the router, (this is the only reason I found out about this scam technique they use.) Unfortunately I couldn't talk to the rep because I had to leave for work, so my dad was talking to him. The last thing I saw was my dad on the phone, and downloading a Remote PC control client from them. (second red flag)
When I got home, I logged into my computer and saw their "PC Diagnostics" program on my desktop. Confused, I gave it a once over and couldn't believe the stupidity I saw on it. It said that I had absolutely NO firewall/antivirus (I have AVG), NO system restore points (I have a few from recent windows updates), and some registry errors (checked with CCleaner and found none).
I then found out they said that my computer *might be* causing the issues from what their "scans" told them, and tried to sell one of their plans to my dad where they could just monitor and control my PC and "clean it" whenever they thought it was needed.
Luckily for me, I've had a few computer engineering classes and IT classes, and know that my PC doesn't have any of the problems that their program says.
TL;DR: | iYogi was supposed to fix our wireless router, instead tried to sell us their $200 "service" plan, and scanned my PC with a program that falsifies information to try and push a sale. As shown here: [ |
SUBREDDIT: r/personalfinance
TITLE: (EU/NL) About energy & gas costs
POST: So usually how you pay your electric and gas (E&G) bills is in advances. Recently my electricity usage doubled. Which led into almost the double of "adviced" monthly advance on the bill. My question would be here, what keeps me from reducing their advances on the E&G bills to the lowest possible?
Of course you would have to pay the difference back. My reasoning is that you could invest the money in the meanwhile. I havent found a price surcharge anywhere for the difference. I am not smart enough to deal with this, so I am asking you for help?
TL;DR: | Question: Does cutting the advances on E&G bills cost you more or less money at the end of the year? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My (19/f) ex (19/m) is scared to commit.
POST: So my ex and I broke up six months ago. He and I were fine. We broke it off because I needed to deal with some issues in my family. Now I want to get back together with him, and he wants to be with me.
The problem is that he thinks he needs to figure out what he wants to do after graduating university, do that, and can then start dating. He is afraid that he will give up doing what he wants in life because it might not be the best decision for me. I on the other hand know what I want to do, and am fully willing to support him in whatever he chooses.
How can I get him to understand this and know that he won't have to give up his dreams or ruin mine?
TL;DR: | How do I explain to my ex that he doesn't need to wait until we graduate from university to date me, and that we can make decisions about life together and have good results? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [18F] am off to college soon, love my SO [17M] very much and we're going to try long distance, but very worried about communication...
POST: So me and my SO met near the end of my senior year of high school and there was an instant connection. I've been in several casual relationships before and so has he but we both agreed that what we have now is different and worth trying to stay together when I leave at the end of the summer. He's wonderful; incredibly caring and very good with words, he always knows what to say to me when I'm upset and otherwise inconsolable. I'm gonna stop here before I start gushing about him haha...
But here's the problem, I'm absolutely terrible at non-personal communication (texting, email, skype, etc). Somehow I've just never been able to express what I mean through text, and a few friendships of mine have suffered because I say something over text that is poorly conveyed and comes off insensitive at best, bitchy at worst. He knows this, and we've joked about it but he has recently been going through some very difficult times and my inability to express true feelings through text has come up. In person, I can hug, look him in the eyes, do anything that conveys to him that I care about him but over text it just doesn't work the same way. I've been able to make up for my terrible texting by dropping by his house and otherwise physically showing him affection and concern, but I'm not going to be able to do that once I'm off at college.
I'm really really worried that I could ruin the best relationship of my life just because I'm really bad at conveying how I feel over text/email. I love him so much and I'm sure he feels the same way, and he's always known exactly what to say to make me feel better but I'm very upset and feel very guilty that I can never return the favor.
Please help!!
TL;DR: | I'm going off to college in a few months and I'm worried that my textual awkwardness is going to ruin my long distance relationship |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [20 M] with my now exgirlfriend [18 F] had sex on the night before she planned breaking up with me and the condom broke.
POST: I went to see my ex-girlfriend and had to travel 8 hours in a car because she wanted to see me. I should've never left. Get there we act like nothings wrong for the first night go to the bar and drink. Come back to our room, she's wearing lingerie and what not. I couldn't resist we have sex but during it the condom broke and she got off me and we stopped but then an hour later or so we had like 5 more minutes of sex with a different condom.
Next morning I wake up and think everything is going to work out between us and all our problems can be solved. We get in the shower together, start planning our day. I bring up the reason I'm here is to talk about what's going. She breaks up with me. I'm pretty hurt since I felt like everything was all right.
She didn't take plan B till the 3rd day. And her period was 3 weeks late before we had sex that night. And that was the only time we've had sex this summer. I don't want to to have a kid with a woman that doesn't love me anymore and its been nearly another week. She claims it's due to stress and she's always had really irregular periods but I can't see her or be with her. She doesn't live anywhere near me. I don't know what to do or if I'm going to be okay. I just want this whole thing to be over so I can start healing.
TL;DR: | Drive 8 hours to see girlfriend to talk about our relationship. We have sex. Condom breaks. The she breaks my heart. Period hasn't happened in nearly a month. HELP |
SUBREDDIT: r/Parenting
TITLE: daughter going into jr high, please help
POST: there was a post yesterday by a parent who said junior high and high school were terrible for them and were considering home school. i dont have that option, but i do agree that jr high was the toughest time in my childhood where i constantly felt excluded, teased about my clothing (we were low middle class), awkward, and never myself. i also got my nose broken, things were stolen from me, etc etc. i had 3 brothers all around the same age and we all experienced some form of this.
as of next week, my 12 year old daughter is going into junior high. not only am i apprehensive about what she might experience socially but i just have no idea what to expect having a daughter go through the experience. i should note she is going to a much better school than i did.
if anyone can give me tips, advice, or expectations for a daughter going through junior high i would greatly appreciate it.
TL;DR: | i hated jr high and it was a horrible time, now my daughter is going into 7th grade and id like some information or advice on what to expect. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me (22F) asked to be a bridesmaid in a wedding. Bridal shower/bachelorette party conflict with another wedding.
POST: Hello everyone,
My good friend asked me to be a bridesmaid in her upcoming wedding. She is having her bachelorette party and bridal shower on the same day, as many of her wedding party has to come from out of town, so she wanted them to be the same day to avoid people either having to miss one of the events or come from out of town for two weekends.
Anyway, unfortunately my boyfriend's cousin's wedding is on the same day as both of those events. I'm super bummed. While I'm not super-duper close with either of them, they're awesome people and I'd love to spend their day with them. They came to my birthday party and I had an awesome time hanging out with them. I haven't RSVP-ed to the wedding yet, but I've talked with her about how excited I am for her big day. I would hate to hurt her feelings, even though I am sure she could care less about me coming and is far more concerned with the fact that she's getting married (which I totally get, haha).
Anyway, I guess my question would be is it in bad taste to only go to their ceremony? I'd love to at least spend a little of the day with my boyfriend and his family for the wedding. Then I could at least go to my friend's bachelorette party. I feel like I should since I'm her bridesmaid and I want to be there for her and help her out!
TL;DR: | Wedding for my boyfriend's cousin is on the same day as a bridal shower/bachelorette party for a wedding I'm standing up in. Scheduling conflict! |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [24M] have just started dating an absolutely amazing lady [23F], and she was kind enough to warn me early on that she has HPV
POST: For the last couple months, I have been talking to a woman that has developed into an actual relationship. After a couple dates, she told me there was something important she needed to talk to me about. When we sat down, she took a deep breath and told me that she wanted to tell me now before things got any more serious and we went any further that she has HPV.
She said she was scared to tell me about it, because she absolutely loves what we have going, and didn't want to subject me to finding out through contracting it. She said she's fairly certain she has a mild strain, since she has had almost no abnormal cell growth on her cervix and has been symptom free for a year. That being said, I did a little research myself and found out that some strains actually get fought off by the body in a couple years time (but on the flip side, some can cause different types of cancer).
I really like this girl, and the fact that she cared enough about me to warn me about something that could affect my health (and in turn possibly my career in the long run) even knowing there was a chance I would turn and run speaks volumes to me. The question I have is what steps should I take to protect myself, and how can I support her through this?
TL;DR: | Girl that I'm very sure I want to continue to date advised me she has HPV. Is it not that big of a deal as I've read up on, and how can I help support her? |
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