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SUBREDDIT: r/loseit
TITLE: Question: do we all really have a 'natural set point' weight?
POST: I come from a family of skinny people. As teenager, i started to gain weight, and I spent most of my teenage years in with my weight between 133 -137 pounds (I'm 5'3"). I always wanted to get down into the 120s, and for ten years it was a massive struggle, and i only got down to 127 for less than 6 months when i first started university.
Then, as an adult, i gained more weight and got up the low 150s. Now i've lost weight over the last year, and am back at 133, and once again I am majorly struggling to get any lower. I'm starting to think that body is just wired to be this weight - it's pudgy on someone my height, but not unhealthy, and i'm starting to feel like going lower is a losing battle.
TL;DR: | Do we really have a 'natural set weight' that we struggle to get below (or above)? Is it possible to overcome? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [23 M] with my GF [20 F] 11 months, is "I am not sure where this relationship is going" legitimate? Also, how do you possibly breakup with someone who likes you very much?
POST: Hey /r/ relationships, first off thank you to anyone who reads this and gives advice. I much appreciate it.
So I have been in a relationship for about 10 months, and it has been good with some bumps. The thing is we are not boyfriend and girlfriend, but friends with benefits who are exclusive and also hangout. She is opposed to the idea of a relationship, and I have respected that but lately I feel she may never be open to the idea.
I've tried talking about it twice before but she doesn't want that, and I don't want to force someone to do something.
It is the most serious relationship she has had though, and I enjoy it but I know it sounds cliche' but I am not sure where it is going. We get in fights from time to time but no more than a usual relationship I suppose. We have had one large fight though where she didn't talk to me for a week, she sometimes shuts down when there is an issue.
She is younger than I am and still in undergrad and not sure what she wants to do, she works part-time but all her rent and necessities are handled by family. I am graduated and looking at professional prospects. I just am not sure if this is a legitimate concern and more so how to breakup with somebody who still likes you a lot. Any advice for both/either of these?
TL;DR: | Not sure of where my relationship is going, unsure of how to breakup with somebody who likes me very much. This is stressful. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: What phrases/clichés etc. really make you want to hit the person who uses them?
POST: I'm sure other redditors have better ones but this really got me:
The other day I took my car into a local garage because the engine kept cutting out. I described the problem over the phone and the mechanic seemed to know what it was straight away. Within a few hours my car was working perfectly and they'd given it a full service for me(not a lot needed doing as it had just been MOTed but it was nice all the same).
I went to pick up my car and pay for the work. I turned up at the garage and went to pay for the work. £70 including parts, which I didn't think was too bad. I got dragged into the usual small-talk with the guy behind the desk and it turned out he'd been the one who'd fixed my car.
"Is it a common problem this then?"
"Oh, yeah. If I had a fiver for every time I saw it I'd be a rich man."
I'd just paid this guy for 'seeing it' and he's there asking for another fiver. Next time I'd rather he stick it on the bill than use that phrase.
I don't mind the saying under normal circumstances but when professionals who I've already handed money over to use it it really gets me. Another example is shopkeepers "If I have a pound for every time someone came in looking for that"(whilst selling you it).
TL;DR: | people who you've paid saying if I had a x-amount of money for every time <insert service you've just paid for>. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: how do I [23M] deal with my Girlfriend[20F] of 6 months, when she is getting flirted with and is oblivious to it?
POST: So my girlfriend and I have been together a while now, and she moved in after 2 months. We get along amazingly, and definitely have a spark. She is the sort of girl who I view as well out of my league. She's extremely attractive and nice, kind, caring, appreciatitive and pretty much everything I could ever have drempt of. My worry is that she doesn't seem to notice when people are hitting on her, and just assumes they're being nice to her.
I've always struggled with trust in relationships, after I ended things with my last long-term girlfriend. She was always very secretive to me and overprotective of her phone for instance, and it turned out she cheated on me multiple times, which destroyed my trust completely.
This is where I am not sure if it's me being paranoid and over-protective [which I feel it is] or if that's me defaulting as that's what I told myself in the previous relationship, and it was true.
TL;DR: | Feel like my girlfriend is out of my league, she gets hit on a lot, not sure if I'm the issue or if i should do something about it? |
SUBREDDIT: r/Advice
TITLE: I don't get why he said this?
POST: I've had a crush on this guy for about a year. We'll call him T. I met him two years ago through mutual friends and while I'm no longer friends with the people who introduced me to him, he and I still talk pretty often because we're in the same youth group with our church.
This weekend, we went with about fifteen other teenagers on a retreat. Yesterday, tensions were high between some of the guys on the trip, so T and another guy (N) strayed off from the group to just hang out and chat in a quiet environment. A lot of people were texting them asking where they were, but they didn't want to tell anyone because they wanted to be away from the drama. However, when I asked them, they sent me a picture of where they were right away and I went to go meet up with them.
We sat and talked for a few minutes before N excused himself to go find a bathroom. So it was just me and T. I'm kinda shy so I just listened while he explained why he didn't want to be around the other guys in the group. In particular, he said that he was mad at one guy, K, for making him sneak out of their cabin the night before. Then I told him about how the girls had gotten together in one cabin to order a pizza and hang out together. And then he said something kind of odd: "I hope K doesn't find us here, because then he'll be like 'dude, do you like [throwaway-03]?' like, yeah, *totally,* I hooked up with her." I know he thinks K is annoying and a bit nosy, but the comment just seemed pretty awkward. It was sarcasm, obviously, but T is friends with a lot of girls, so who would really care if he was hanging out with a girl?
Do you think this was his way of trying to make it clear that he doesn't like me?
TL;DR: | guy that I've liked for a long time made an awkward joke about him liking me/us hooking up, and I'm really confused. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I (28M) don't know what to do for my step-dad on Father's Day
POST: A little background: I grew up with my step-dad and my biological mom, who together had 2 other sons. My bio-dad was out of the picture for almost my entire life, minus my first 3 years and only precariously since 2010. Growing up, my step-dad was kind of an asshole to me, always favoring his true sons, taking out his anger on me (rarely physically and if so, nothing crazy), putting me down (calling me worthless, a piece of shit, etc.), and being completely unavailable to me, emotionally. He did his best to support me financially and to push me in school and athletics, but for the longest time, I carried around a chip on my shoulder about the way he treated me and resented him for a while about it, but in the last few years, after a lot of counseling, I've begun to let things go. He held a job stocking frozen pizzas at grocery stores for almost 30 years, which I'm sure he hated, which is surely a reason why he had so much anger to vent. Our relationship still isn't great, i.e. i still don't send him gifts or call him up to shot the breeze, but it's not the tense, avoidant relationship it once was. At best, it's cordial and we can share a laugh together when I see him and the family on the one time or less a year that I see them.
Now that it's almost Father's Day, I am struggling still on how to proceed with him. He lives in Illinois and I in Colorado, so hanging out isn't really an option, and I still feel like sending a gift is almost a betrayal to my own past and the pain that came from the way he treated me; it's all a bit complicated.
The bio-dad sitch is a little more straightforward; our relationship is so tenuous that I may not even email him, but as I haven't given him an update in quite a while, now might be a good time to do it.
Any suggestions around this fatherly conundrum?
TL;DR: | Have a complicated relationship with my step-father and bio-dad, don't know what is appropriate for them on Father's Day. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [18 M] with my _Friend that is a girl__ [17 F] I don't understand why she won't leave this guy?
POST: Ok so I'm good friends with this girl and I've always wondered why she stays with this guy she's with. He's been rude to her (she told me, i'm not assuming), he told 1 of his friends that is also my friend that he cheated on her? He told me this at like 4am when we were just kickin it and talking. He brought up that he cheated on her all the time and when I went to tell her that, she didn't want to really believe it. Of course, I told her that it could or could not be true. But why would my friend lie like that to me at 4am? That makes no sense? And why would a boyfriend lie about cheating on his girlfriend? Why stay with a kid like that? A kid that lies about cheating....or maybe he did? God knows. He broke up with her over text a couple months ago and now they're back together? So idk my question really is...why do girls stay with their shitty boyfriends? And trust me...she can do much better so don't throw that out there.
TL;DR: | Why do girls stay with their shitty boyfriends. Ones that either cheat or lie about cheating (you'd have to read the paragraph to understand) and ones that break up over text and get back together? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: Having a mild crisis....help?
POST: I've never posted here before, but here goes. I'm 19 years old, my 20 year old girlfriend and I have been best friends for four years, and dated on and off for about two. It is not hyperbole for me to refer to her as my best friend, and as far as I was aware, we've been happy. She went off for a week on a school-related event, and I had something of a nervous breakdown. I was overly clingy and demanding, and I recognize that now. However, when she returned, everything seemed to go back to normal. Yesterday though, I asked her why she was being short and didn't seem to show any affection towards me anymore, and the short answer was because she's having problems dealing with my manic depression. She said she wasn't going to break up with me, because she "couldn't," and that "I'm here as long as you want me, you hold the keys to this relationship." I really, truly love her, and don't want to say the wrong thing and end up ruining something as beautiful as us, but I'm having trouble reconciling what she's said with how she seems to feel. Added to that, my manic depression is driving me up a wall as of late, and it's starting to take a toll on my physical well-being.
TL;DR: | Long-term, committed relationship, I'm having depression issues, she seems to be distancing herself from me, any advice to help me calm down and not be a nervous wreck anymore? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: Girlfriend isn't comfortable around our mutual friends when we're together.
POST: I have been friends with A for a few years, in high school. Since we moved into our college dorms this past fall (freshman), me and her roommate have hit it off. We've been dating for almost 6 months now, and I love her.
However, she got drunk a few weeks ago, said something inappropriate things to A (told her she "sucks mad dick") and I took my friend, A's, side. A and I were both mad at her, she apologized, and A and I have both moved very much past it, no grudges. However, my girlfriend is afraid that if we fight again, I'm just going to take A's side since we've been friends for so long (Note: she's not jealous or nervous that I would make a move on A, she's "one of the boys" to our guy friends and I and I'm in no way attracted to her like that).
This means that whenever I hang out with both my girlfriend and A (and another girl friend we're all good friends with), my girlfriend sits there like a bump on a log, looking ready to bite someone's head off if they speak to her. When just "the girls" hang out, apparently there are no problems. But when I'm present with all 3, I feel like I have to split my time talking between A and our other friends, and my girlfriend.
This puts my in a very bad situation, because if I ignore my friends and talk to my girlfriend, they'd obviously get mad. If I talk to my friends, my girlfriend sits there upset looking (which kills me). I told her it feels like she doesn't even want to be friends with them, which she denies.
What am I doing wrong? I love this girl, but I don't want to have to be 2 different people for her. I feel like I'm tearing myself in two.
TL;DR: | my girlfriend won't be happy when we're all together with other friends, is fine when she's alone with them or alone with me |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My GF(19) is really upset her ex has found a fuck buddy
POST: My GF(19) of three months found out today that her ex of 3 years now has a 'fuck buddy'. I met her when she was still going out with him but they were 'on a break' and she said she had been planning on leaving him for a while. I realised I may have been a rebound when we first started dating but I got over that because she seemed well and truly over him. Now she's found this out she's really upset and I have a feeling she isn't as over him as I'd have liked to think.
Not sure where to go from here, she's my first girlfriend so I have no personal experience to draw from with regards to feelings about exes so I could do with some advice!
Thanks.
TL;DR: | Do I bring up to my girlfriend the rebound issue? Or do I just support her and see how it all pans out? |
SUBREDDIT: r/legaladvice
TITLE: What are the landlords rights as to coming in the house at any time?
POST: My girlfriend [20, New York] wants to move out of her house because it is an abusive home physically and emotionally. Due to this she has been paying for herself since the age of 15. ( phone, school, food, clothes, etc)
The mother hasn't given her a cent since she was 15, and all her mothers money goes to her sister. (Once a week the sister comes over and their mom gives her 500$ because she's 30 with no job with a baby on the way)
Her grandmother owns an apartment building and gave the parents ownership of them. To later give to their daughters when they reach x age. Now she can move into the building at any time at the moment.
The problem is her mother is a raging drunk and loves to storm into her room to fight with her at her will. Can she do this because she's the landlord ( if we move into the apartment?)
My girlfriend is not financially stable enough to afford another housing option, and she is getting to the point where living in that home is not an option.
So my question is what rights does her mother have as a landlord, and if she does move into the apartment what is her mother legally and illegally able/not able to do?
TL;DR: | girlfriends mother is the landlord, what rights does she have to her apartment in regards of going inside, or banging on the door at 2:00 in the morning? |
SUBREDDIT: r/Advice
TITLE: Selling(?) my Android app which I'm making as a part of my thesis. How much is it worth?
POST: Hello Reddit!
*Background story*
I was told to make something constructive for my thesis and I decided to help make the local public transport more organized. I'm developing an Android application which has the following features:
* It allows real-time tracking of the lines (buses/trams/trolleybuses) instead of the static timetables so the passengers know when to expect them at the stops if there is a heavy traffic or something.
* A journey planner to make traveling to easier.
* An announcement box which is used by the company to notify the passengers about any route/timetable changes. It can also be used for announcing events organized by them. Transport Co. -> Passengers
* A report form for the passengers to notify the company about their concerns, ideas or if they see something is not working on the vehicles as intended or is damaged (ie. the information panel not showing the next stop), they can report that too.
*The present*
The company liked my idea so a joint cooperation is a possibility now. I didn't think it would go this far. **I am now to decide if I want any money for it(If I do then how much and paid monthly or one-time) or just be happy that my name will appear as the developer.**
I have no idea which way to go since this is my first serious experience in working for a big company as a contractor.
TL;DR: | Developing a real-time app as a part of my thesis for the local public transport co. and I have no idea how much to ask for it If I ask anything. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: my partner [M23] left me [F24] and our baby [M1], I want him back but he's not ready. Do I let him grow up and experience life and say goodbye or just sit here and wait til he's ready?
POST: My partner [M23] and I [F24] were together for 6 years. To our surprise I fell pregnant. Once baby came along it was obvious that my partner was not coping (diagnosed with PND) and unhappy. He left me when baby was 6 months old. He said he needed to "live life" before he settled down.
A month later he wanted to get back together but i was against the idea as I was so hurt, so moved away for 2 months to think, he tried to get on with life.
When I returned I realized how much I still love him and wanted to change and make things work.
He said he still wasn't ready but still loves me and doesn't want a relationship with anyone else. I just want to be able to make him happy and us to be a family.
TL;DR: | my partner left me and our baby, I want him back but he's not ready. Do I let him grow up and experience life and say goodbye or just sit here and wait til he's ready? |
SUBREDDIT: r/loseit
TITLE: I haven't got much weight to lose but I'm finally stepping in the right direction
POST: I'll try to keep this as short as I can.
I struggled with an eating disorder from when I was about 12 to 15 or so. I used to fast, exercise compulsively but I never could make myself throw up. The lowest weight I got down to was 46 kg/101 pounds at 165 cm. After I started to recover, my eating habits shot to the other end of the spectrum; I'd eat really unhealthy food and lots of it. This caused me to be really insecure and gain weight.
Enter boyfriend. He insisted he loved me the way I was and by then I was wanting to lose a little bit of weight. He essentially wouldn't let me by banning me from going on walks and insisting I eat really unhealthy. He'd get upset if I ate a salad instead of a meat pie, and this was just making me gain weight and made me more insecure.
Fast forward to breaking up with him, and I lost a little bit of weight. Not much but a bit. [Here] is a picture of me at around 63 kg/138 pounds. I started to feel my eating disorder creep back in and I struggled to keep it under control. I ended up being able to fight it off and in March, I was on my way to becoming thin and healthy again. [Here] is a picture of me from back then.
I am now at a steady 57 kg/125 pounds and I feel really fit and healthy. I got here by eating healthier and cutting out sugar from every second day, as well as starting to exercise now that I could. I am starting to feel more confident in my body again and I am loving this.
The FAQ said that I should add measurements. My bust is 37" (94cm), waist is 25.5"(65 cm) and my hips are at 37.5" (95 cm).
TL;DR: | I struggled with an eating disorder for 3 years, then with a boyfriend who fattened me up. Now I'm on my way to being healthy again and couldn't be happier. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Reddit, I really really need some help. Should I quit University and start my own business?
POST: So here's the deal. I'm in a super funk and I believe it's because I've wasted the past two and a half years at university and have nothing to show for it except a metric fuckton of general education credit hours. This is all due in part to horrible advisers not knowing what the fuck they should be doing and then throwing me to the wolves when I try to get answers.
I'm beginning to get depressed and feel like I've gone nowhere and have done nothing of importance. I haven't even begun to take any of my classes for my major, and according to the most recent adviser, I'd still have another year's worth of bullshit before I actually move into my major.
However, I have a pretty good idea for a business I want to start, and I've only been going to college to further my knowledge and give myself an edge, but lately I've been thinking that I can do this on my own with some research and careful planning, and I can just say fuck all this expensive nonsense that hasn't gotten me anywhere anyway. I really need some advice from others that have been or are in my situation. Any advice is greatly appreciated.
TL;DR: | I've wasted two and a half years at university and can't decide whether or not I want to continue college or drop out and start my own business. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: I hate my major, but am afraid to change it. What should I do?
POST: I am in my Junior year of college. I changed majors this semester from Psychology to Medical Technology, and I am considering nursing.
I did this because I find the career prospects for a psychology major less than satisfactory. I only want to be an MT or an RN because of the job prospects, and after two weeks I am already fed up with the content of the major. I have a 4.0 GPA at the university I am at, and I transfered with a 3.7. I am really interested in sociology, political science, music, and history. To the extent that I spend more time studying EACH of those subjects than I spend on required course content.
I only have such a high GPA because I was interested in Psychology. I never even took any notes. I was so enthralled that I simply remembered the information, but now I find that I am having to pep myself up just to do the simplest assignments. I made an A in non majors biology, but I slept threw half of the classes everyday.
The problem is that I come from a poor family, and do not have the background needed to break into a high profile job. I am scared that if I switch paths I will end up wiring houses for the rest of my life.
What should I do?
TL;DR: | I am not interested in the subject I am in (Medical Technology), but I am afraid that I won't succeed in any of my areas of interest (Political Science, Music, Sociology, and history). |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: If you were a young adult, with 1 year to do/experience anything, before resuming education until age 40, what would you do with your year?
POST: I'm a biomedical & electrical engineering student doing a gap year before MD/PhD. I'm not sure what to do with myself. So far, I'm debating between
1) working as an engineer or in a laboratory for a year, if I can get a position, and
2) waitress for a year, since I've only ever tutored and worked in a laboratory, to get a taste for the real world. My parents were "traditional," so I'm perfectly capable inside the house (cook, clean, childcare), but not entirely sure how the world works outside. [And then this happened in college...](
What are your thoughts?
TL;DR: | I've always lived under a rock. I have one year on the outside before going back under the rock. Anything I should do? |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: I AskRedditers for student loans nightmares/stories. Have any? This is why... <repost>
POST: So we are sending our daughter off to college this fall (medical field) with one caveat... No student loans.
Our family started years and years ago (can't actually remember when we started this) scrimping and saving for this to happen. It's what I would consider one of our life's biggest accomplishments. We were terrified of how long it took us to pay off ours and didn't want a deja vu for our daughter.
Family vacations, nope (day trips only). Dinners out, nada. Cars, 8 years old and both used. Daughter's car, 11 years old with 180,000 miles on it. Cable TV, nope (antenna and net - thank god for Netflix and Reddit!). Christmases, skimp city on gifts (2.5 foot high tree). Repairs on house, yours truly.Bare bones American living it's been. Bare bones.
Note: Suggestion btw for anyone who does this: Sandwiches and soups are a great way to feed the family healthily, cheaply, creatively and repeatedly year after year after year.
Well... At the end of this month it'll be official. We'll have enough money saved for a four year in state degree possible before her first class even starts with no strings attached. Done. Finally! Sorry, keeping amount private. This is the net after all. Hope you'll forgive me.
This brings me to my request: I would deeply appreciate your student loan experiences so that I can have my daughter sit down and read them. One after the other, if I get any, so she can really gain some perspective on what this accomplishment means as part of her life's education.
Thank you so much in advance to any and all of you out in Reddit land who take the time. This means a great deal to me. Sincerely.
Again, thank you.
TL;DR: | Sacrificed dearly for daughter. Please tell her your experiences for her personal growth. Author of this request appreciative. |
SUBREDDIT: r/askwomenadvice
TITLE: I [M/20] am in a self-esteem rut due to my girlfriend [F/20]. What do I do? (X-post from r/dating_advice)
POST: Ladies of reddit, please help me out. I'm in a dire situation and am hoping for a female perspective on my issue.
Alright, so a bit of background. I've been in a relationship with my girlfriend for the past 6 months, sexually for the past couple of months. The whole 'getting to know each other' process started about an year ago, so this is in no way a rushed, reckless relationship.
The issue here is that my girlfriend 'claims' that I'm not 'well endowed' enough to satisfy her. Now I'm no Peter North, in fact I believe I'm perhaps on the lower strata of average (5.5in L, 5in G) [Sorry if that's too much info]. I accept that fact duly and prioritize pleasing her. Despite this, she absolutely refuses to return the favor, even if she's the one who initiates it. I believe I'm doing my job well, seeing her eagerness.
Otherwise, I find her to be a beautiful, caring, smart and cheerful woman and I assume she sees me in a similar fashion or else this relationship wouldn't have existed.
Talking to her about this, gets me a plain 'Can we not talk about this, please?' from her and if I'm pushy, she just leaves.
This whole thing has left me frustrated, sexually as well as emotionally. I absolutely adore her, so I want to know what's making her behave like this? Are my dimensions really a deal-breaker? What should I do?
TL;DR: | my girlfriend 'claims' that I'm not 'well endowed' enough to satisfy her and despite me pleasing her she absolutely refuses to return the favor. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [22 F] with my ex [23 M] broke up 6 months ago, suddenly he says I owe money
POST: We were both invited to an event with mutual friends last night and I hadn't seen him or spoken to him in quite a while. Before the event he sent me a message saying he hoped we could both go without it being a big deal.
However, he got drunk and tried to confront me in a way that made me uncomfortable. I bolted out of there and went home.
The next morning he's sending me messages on Facebook claiming that I owe him $80 for some groceries he picked up for me a month before it ended. He makes over 60K a year, while I'm a broke college student. Also, when we were together, he'd come over to my place and eat all my food...and that guy eats a lot! So, my first idea was to ignore him.
All things considered, $80 isn't THAT much. But paying it means I might have to see him in person, and frankly, he scares me. I wonder whether I am under any sort of legal obligation to pay.
Basically, I want to choose whichever course of action means he is more likely to leave me alone from now on.
Also, any advice on how to get your ex to stay out of your life would be highly appreciated!
TL;DR: | My scary ex-boyfriend thinks I owe him money, I don't think I do. I'm willing to pay if it means he'll leave me alone, but I'm not sure whether it does. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I'm 24(M) she's 23(F) broke up with a girl because she was too possessive am I wrong in this situation?
POST: Hey Reddit, so I need a second opinion with my decision. I met this girl online and we really hit it off. The only problem was that even before we met she would rant on how I didn't pay enough attention. She would complain that I didn't call her enough and I didn't call her in the morning or called her at night. After one date the rants just got worse and worse. She would often say I don't show her I care or like her.
But I'm also thinking about the other things she told me. She told me that she wants to treat me like the king I am and she would say a lot of things to show her devotion. It was really nice to find a woman who really digs me but at the same time, it was a little scary how she showed it just after one date. It's like I'm dealing with that one overly attached girlfriend from YouTube. Am I right to dump her? Or should I try to get her back? I really broke her heart, she even sent me a picture of her crying which really got me.
TL;DR: | Met a girl online, we hit it off and she became obsessive and was already complaining that I don't show her enough affection after just one date. Broke up with her but now I think I made a bad choice. |
SUBREDDIT: r/personalfinance
TITLE: I have a question about legal residences when applying for credit cards
POST: Looking for advice on what I need to put down as my legal residence when applying for a credit card. The issue I am running into is due to the fact that I do not live at my legal residence. I am a recent college grad that just began working on Capitol Hill for one of the senators from my home state. There is an odd tax provision called reciprocity that allows anyone who is a permanent resident of the state or district that the senator or representative that they work for to essentially, for state tax purposes, pretend that they still live in the state and not in DC. Therefore, I can still claim my parents' legal address as my own and pay state taxes from my home state instead of DC, an attractive option due to low tax rates back home. However, since I do actually live in DC, my permanent residence is not where I reside. Therefore, the issue I am running into is attempting to decipher which address I need to put down when applying to cards. I would obviously prefer to use my DC address, since I do not want my parents to receive statements from the companies or other credit card offers. However, I do not know if credit card companies use permanent legal address to verify identities, nor do I want to do anything that might jeopardize my status with reciprocity. Due to my lack of experience in dealing with credit card companies, I was unsure about which direction to head. Any advice the wonderful people of personalfinance have for me would be greatly appreciated.
TL;DR: | my legal address is different from my actual residence due to (legal) tax purposes; which address do I use to apply for credit cards |
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU by shitting in a strangers bed
POST: This was actually years ago, whilst backpacking in India. I'd eaten some rather sketchy goat a few days prior and of course had the worst case of Delhi Belly one could have, regardless of the fact that I was actually in Jaisalmer, Rajastan when this occurred. I had the ills in every way imaginable. On my last day in Jaisalmer, I met these two really smoking Australian girls who I had managed to convince to come along for a train ride to Deshnok to see the famed Rat Temple (Karni Mata). Problem was, the guest house Id booked a bed at, literally only had the one room. Being a nice guy, I gave the room to the girls to use. My host arranged for me to use the room of his brother in the next building over. Perfect! We all have a place to sleep! Make it through the night and next day at the temple but later the 2nd night, all the hounds of hell decided to descend upon me, in that poor tuk-tuk driver's bed. To my neverending shame, I exploded in this poor fellows bed - we're talking swimming pool level of liquids; I'm actually submerged. I quickly wake up to a cold watery feeling, realize what has happened and rushed to the small bathroom to clean myself as best I can, in a way that will not wake anyone. Cleaned off, soiled clothes thrown into the garbage, I quickly pack up and make ready to bolt. I make the bed, as though nothing is wrong with it, grab my gear and make my way out to the street to catch a tuk tuk to the bus terminal, keen on getting away from this mess. To this day, I imagine that poor guy coming back to his place and jumping into his bed after a rough night's work and splashing into the toxicity I'd left behind. In those moments I truly did feel shame and embarrassment; today, I kind of chuckle at the thought of that poor tuk-tuk driver's shock at landing in my self-made version of the La Brea Tar Pit.
TL;DR: | Was sick in India, shit in a strangers bed, made said bed and left - always imagine this fellow jumping into a nightmare pool of horrors. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Outside of soft or 'acceptable' drugs (THC/Alcohol/Cigs/etc), does reddit think it is possible to use hard drugs long term and maintain a stable and otherwise healthy life?
POST: Context: I am having a debate with a friend. I'm not going to bother posting our specific opinions, but one of us thinks that one can use hard drugs (meth/coke/heroin) long term and maintain a stable life that is healthy outside the obvious consequences of said drug usage. 'Healthy' includes mental, social, and economic health. Stable implies maintaining a job or craft, not hurting others or one's self (other than the usage), and remaining absent in crime (outside the drug usage).
The other one of us obviously thinks this can't be done.
Remove law and legal matters from this, in regards to the drug. Pretend the drug is legal; of course it is dangerous to carry a felony- this is a purely hypothetical 'what if' positing a situation where one could get the drug regularly and safely of consistent dosage and potency, wasn't criminalized for it, the drug was not socially shunned, etc; basically, the 'ideal' situation, considering only the physical/psychological effects of the drug use itself.
Of the drugs we're conversing, we are mostly arguing about the 'hardest' of the 'hard' drugs: cocaine, meth, and heroin. We've already discarded straight hallucinogens (DMT, shrooms, LSD, etc) due to low repeat usage patterns, low physical addiction, and the relative rarity of LD50/50 OD. THC is discarded out of hand, for what i hope is obvious reasons, cigs and alcohol, as legal and used every day by vast majorities, are also discarded.
We are talking of daily or semi-daily usage beginning somewhere in teens/early twenties and continuing until death (50+ years, if the body can hold up)
TL;DR: | Outside of legal and social concerns, long term, can a person maintain a stable, otherwise healthy life while using cocaine, meth, and/or heroin? Feel free to discuss other significant illegal or heavily controlled drugs of an addictive nature. |
SUBREDDIT: r/offmychest
TITLE: Jealous of "friends" who are actually getting help
POST: I've been dealing with mental health problems, namely depression and anxiety since I was 12-13 (I'm 19 now). I've had issues with eating disordered behavior and self harm for the past few years as well.
I've been seeing a therapist and am in a therapy group, but I have a few friends/people I know who have been hospitalized/in residential treatment for eating disorders and depression and I can't help but feel angry and jealous.
It makes me angry that I've struggled for so long and mostly kept it to myself, while a girl I know was in residential treatment for a month for a short but severe bout of depression and she came back to get well soon cards and people telling her how strong she is.
I know I should logically be happy that my situation has never been bad enough for me to be hospitalized. I know that hospitalization isn't generally a present experience. There's a part of me that just feels like nothing I've struggled with is real, since I haven't been.
The feelings have caused several relapses, mostly with self harm and food restriction. I feel like i can't let go of it until I truly hit rock bottom. I don't know why I want this, because I don't want to be that girl going "Look everyone, I cut myself and I have scars". I just want the people in my life to know that I've been having a much harder time then i let on, but I don't want them to feel like I'm whiny and attention seeking.
I've had dreams about being in residential treatment and actually being taken seriously. I've though so much about how relieving it would be to be able to explain these things to someone and not to hear "Yeah, I've felt sad too" or "Yeah, one time I didn't eat for a whole day".
I want to get to a point where I can live my life and go on with it, but it feels like I can't until I've experienced "rock bottom".
TL;DR: | I'm an attention seeker who doesn't like seeking attention but wants to feel that my problems are valid and wants the people in my life to actually give a fuck |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My [24/M] GF [23/F] is way hotter than me. To the point where we get stared at in public cause it seems so unbelievable. It's making me feel insecure but I can't let her know that. Why don't I feel like I deserve her?
POST: My girlfriend is objectively gorgeous but I am kind of ugly. Some kids fucked up my face in a fight years ago and now I have lopsided features that I'll have to live with the rest of my life. I used to have a symmetrical face, but now I just looked fucked up.
I don't even know how I landed my girl after my injury but when I take pictures with her I am just shocked at the attractiveness levels between us. I'll never let her know, but I'm always worried that she'll leave me for a "cuter" dude.
We get looks when we are together cause I'm bald, overweight and not too pretty while she's a smoke show with a 6 pack. I feel like I should use it as a point of confidence but recently it's bugging me out. I get that love is more complex than just the physical side of things but jesus I can't even stand to look at myself, I don't know how she deals with it.
TL;DR: | I'm ugly as fuck, she's hot as fuck. I should be feeling blessed but instead I'm just being insecure. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [17 M] met a girl [17 F] 3 weeks ago, I don't really know what to think.
POST: Hello everyone.
I'm a 17 year old male and I met this gorgeous, smart, really awesome girl three weeks ago.
We started talking and flirting and I started to feel attracted by her, maybe too much. I feel really good being with her, even doing something as *unfun* as studying math on the library, it becomes..enjoyable.
However, I don't know if she is really into me, and I don't want to screw up trying to ask her out or something if she isn't. *What has happened so far?* you might ask, so here it comes my story:
We were studying together and she started stroking my fingers, my arm and such, pretty kindly. We were both alone. She gets pretty shy when there are more people around - that I can understand, I get shy *sometimes* too - We talk to each other everyday, she calls me cutie and I do the same to her (we use different words as we speak spanish but that's not important), but we don't do it on public, at least it hasn't happened. Today, however, we were studying math - it was mostly me seeing her study and explaining her stuff she didn't understand (I take Math III, she takes Math II) - it was really cold so I told her that my hands were reaally cold, we grabbed each other hands, felt really nice, then looked at each other and proceed to get red, stop holding hands and look at the notebook. It felt like I was 14 again.
About me? I'm not really experienced in relationships at all. I just never know what to do when it gets up to this point and usually screw up.
TL;DR: | Met a really cool girl, I like her. I don't really know if she likes me, I don't know what to do and don't want to screw up. |
SUBREDDIT: r/loseit
TITLE: What My Dog Taught Me About Weight Management
POST: Part of my impetus in getting started losing weight this year was my dog. He's an adorable little terrier mix, and the first dog I've ever raised from a puppy.
One of the things that vets warn you about is letting your dogs get overweight. A half pound of extra fat on a small dog is the equivalent of 20 pounds or more on a human, and it really takes a toll on them as they age. I have recently watched my parents' dogs get old and fat, and the health problems they developed were heartbreaking. They weren't even that fat, but it made their later years a lot worse than they could have been.
So, I am very careful with my dog's weight. I make sure that I can feel, but not see, his ribs, and that he has a thin wasp waist. As he has grown, the amount of food he's needed has varied wildly, from nearly a cup of high quality (high calorie!) kibble a day as a tiny pup, down to only half a cup now as an adult. When his ribs receded or he lost a little of his waist, I cut back by an eighth of a cup, and when he felt a little bony, he got extra treats and an extra meal for a day or two.
And you know what? That hasn't stopped. He isn't growing any longer, he's at the weight he'll probably be at for the rest of his life. And still, when we go for more walks and play more fetch, he needs a little more food, and when the weather is bad or I have the flu, he needs a little less. I watch his weight and I alter his feeding plan.
At one point, I stopped and realized that this was just what I needed to do with myself. I realized that weight had to drive my food choices, and not the other way around. And I realized, because of my tiny and adorable lab animal, what an amazing difference a little alteration in diet could create. (And lastly, I realized what a hypocrite I was for keeping my dog thin and letting myself get away with an extra 35 pounds of fat!)
TL;DR: | Your body is the indicator of how much you should be eating, and small changes really add up. Pay attention and take care of yourself. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: What should I (m18) do about f18 who has a boyfriend?
POST: A little bit of backstory, my ex gf and I split up in mid-January and being the young hormonal optimistic male I am, I assumed getting back into the dating scheme would be easy. I started to talk to a girl that I had a crush on for a while, maybe 2 years, even though I knew full and well she had a boyfriend. She is also the first female to engage in a conversation with me and she seems somewhat interested in keeping the conversation going unlike many other girls. Some of my friends say I should not talk to her because she has a boyfriend, and I do not want to get her into the whole cheating thing, but its nice to have someone to talk to after months of nothing. What should I do? Yesterday she even had a full Skype conversation with me before my Internet crashed and we settled with a good night.
TL;DR: | I have a crush on a girl with a boyfriend. I like her and want to talk to her but don't want to risk any confrontation. |
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: Tifu by going out to dinner with my girlfriends family.
POST: This occurred last night.
Went to dinner with my girlfriends family last night to Turtle Jacks Muskoka Grill. Famous for their "big wing sandwich"- a steroid laced sized chicken breast deep fried, tossed with your choice of wing sauce, and served on a deliciously unhealthy bun. Sounded delightful.
Myself, her father, and sister all indulged in the big wing, in its greasy glory. Every one was satisfied, including myself. My stomach however, was not.
I excused myself to the bathroom, only to find the bathrooms of turtle jacks muskoka grill were muskoka fucked. One toilet consisted of what seemed like a trees worth of toilet paper in the bowl, the other seemed like someone was interrupted in the middle of throwing up (perhaps after a big wing sandwich), and thought "nah, someone else's ass hair will sweep the rest of this".
Fast forward to the drive home where I quietly utter to her father in the front "I need to hit a bathroom on the way home". He speeds up.
"I may have to use someone's bathroom in their house". He starts to pass cars on single solid lines sub urban roads.
We find a Tim Hortons and I run inside to start a fire fight with the porcelain inside. Dodging an employee exiting the female bathroom, I zip into a stall, get my pants down and let out a shit so loud it rivalled a truck motor turning over. The sigh of relief I let out would have put anyone's biggest post sex sigh to shame.
When I exited I realized that the employee who exited the female washroom was waiting to clean the male washroom, and as such heard the audio of the Chicago steamer I had just brought into port moments prior.
Jumped back in the car, went home and watch a movie. Shit another 4 times before bed. Fuck you big wing sandwich. Not for messing up my stomach, but for being so delicious that 10/10 would eat and empty bowels again.
TL;DR: | had chicken sandwich, couldn't use restaurant bathroom, shit inside a Tim Hortons so loud the employees were visually aghast when I left the washroom |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Mom's house robbed during night, got a video, can't open it for the life of me
POST: Hi Reddit, two days ago my mother had a visit from some burglars, they took a lot of valuable things including a macbook, 2k$, gold and even perfumes.
The funny thing is i have a video of the burglars but I'm only able to view it on her computer. I have a copy of it and I'd like to make it public in order to catch the bastards but this video isn't an easy fella. it's in VVF format. I've searched google for a viewer/converter but the only thing that popped out keeps crashing on me. Local authorities have seen the video on my mother's pc but they need a copy in a standard format. is anyone able to help us? Authorities have a solid clue on who it may be the bastard but we aren't able to export that video in some standard format. please help, I will post the video online!
TL;DR: | mom's house robbed, caught the bastards on video, video is in VVF format, nobody can open it, need to export in mp4 or avi |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [21M] and my Girlfriend[24F] have been dating 8 months, I'm having lots of issues being monogamous and cheating and need serious help.
POST: Hey, um. This is really weird because i've never thought i needed help and honestly i've always needed help.
I have always been kind of a polyamorous person, Honestly it's gotten me in a lot of trouble because i think it ended up making me a chronic cheater.
I've been dating my girlfriend for almost 8 months, our relationship was very hard and very fast to begin and we're really kind of settling down now. (we got a place together in March)
When we started the relationship (Oct/Nov) i told her i have problems being faithful and it's something that i honestly didn't think i could help. She helped by being honestly the best girlfriend i've ever had. i told her i'd maybe like an open relationship and she said probably not but she'd think about it. I let it be and didn't do anything for a lot longer than i usually do.
April rolls around and we've been dating almost 6 months, i tell her i'm going to visit my best friend in Edmond (about 2 hours from Tulsa, where i live) and i'd be home that night. needless to say i cheated on her and told my best friend to keep it mum, like an asshole.
I got home that night and told her i'd like to see my best friend from time to time and she said she needed to think about it, she got on messenger and talked to her and they discussed it, i got a lot of heck from my bestie to tell her, so the next day i did.
She figured i did, and i felt terrible. we made up and she told me not to do it again.
fast forward to today, i do it again, with a different girl. honestly, i'm just trying to figure out what makes someone do these things and how they can stop. I really love her and want to spend a long time with her, but i feel like this is seriously hurting me.
TL;DR: | I'm a chronic cheater and a compulsive liar and i want to stop being both of those things for the woman i love. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My gf (f23) just wet the bed and I (m23) couldnt care less. How do I make her feel better about it?
POST: It's all in the title. Dating 3 years, living together for 1.5. I woke up this morning to her laying on a towel and the smell of perfume. I asked her what was up because she was being sketchy about it and after ignoring the question outright, she just asked me tearfully to just go start my day.
At this point i had pretty much figured it out and i just wanted her to tell me she was ok (that it wasnt anything serious like she may be hiding an illness or infection or anything) but she just went on about how she's embarassed that a 23-y-o woman had an accident.
I tried to tell her it's not a big deal and I really didnt care, Id help her change the sheets and whatnot but she basically kicked me out of our room so she could change the sheets.
TL;DR: | GF randomly wet the bed, is super embarassed. How do I approach her when she gets home from work to assure her it's really not a big deal? |
SUBREDDIT: r/travel
TITLE: Price per day bicycle traveling questions!
POST: Hey there!
In a week I'll be going on a 12 day bicycle trip starting in Berlin. From Berlin I'll bike west towards Netherlands (more specifically Amsterdam or Rotterdam) and from there I'll go to Brussels. My way home would be from Brussels to Düsseldorf
Now to the question. **On a 12 days trip like that what would the average price per day be**? I accidentaly broke my tent the other day - so I can't camp. Thereby I'm forced to sleep at hostels.
I'm not really much of fancy eater, so I'll be staying off restaurants and primarily sustain from ryebread and (toppings?). If it helps anything I don't smoke or drink coffee.. those are some expensive stuff.
TL;DR: | How much would I need per day to survive a 12 day bike trip.. Non fancy eating and hostels for sleep? I'm a firsttime rider and I'll be going solo. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I, [25 M], just lost my virginity to the much more experienced girl [25 F] I'm dating. I'm not sure how I should feel about her anymore.
POST: I'm a late bloomer. I went through puberty when I was 18, kissed my first girl when I was 21. I never got that much attention from the opposite sex until I recently started coming into my own.
I started dating this girl about a month ago. We've been on 7 dates and we've always had a great time. On Saturday night it became apparent things were going to get physical, so I decided to be honest and let her know I was a virgin. This threw her off a little and she decided to tell me her number ...19. Oh. I was surprised but I didn't let it bother me in the moment. It happened.
I really don't want it to bother me but I can't get it out of my head. I don't know what to think about her anymore. How could I marry someone who's been with that many guys? If we have no future what's the point of dating?
At the same time I feel like I'm being immature. Who am I to judge someone's past? Shouldn't the only thing that matter be how she feels about me?
I recognize that I'm being stupid but I can't help how I feel. I just don't know if I should continue to see her and lead her on any longer.
Advice?
TL;DR: | I was a virgin. She's been with 19 other guys. I don't know if I should continue to see her. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Ladies, what do you think was going through my [25 M] girlfriend's[23F] mind when I was doing this?
POST: I guess I get a bit frisky and shameless when I'm drunk with my girlfriend. She and i went out with lots of our friends this friday to a bar for halloween, and she had on this sexy lady cop costume with fishnet stockings and boots, and i couldn't resist after a while.
During the car ride home, after a night of drinking, 3 of our friends were sitting nearby us and I was sneakily stroking my girl's thighs and butt with everyone still in the car. She was telling me to stop in sort of a "omg, there are people here!" tone and sounded kinda excited. The next morning, I had already forgotten I was doing that (but I remember as soon as my girl told me i was doing it), and she said "you were driving me crazy last night, Michelle was sitting right next to me when you were touching me!" When she said this, she sounded excited and a little turned on. So, what do you think was going through my girl's mind when (1) I was touching her that night and (2) when she reminded me what I did?
I'm just curious, and want a woman's perspective on what a woman would be thinking.
TL;DR: | I was touching my girlfriend's butt and thighs while I was drunk with many friends sitting right by us in a car. I want to know my girl's thoughts when I did this, her tone sounded excited/shocked. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My SO [23F] said something incredibly disturbing to me [25M] and I can't get past it
POST: Throwaway because we both use reddit.
Background: me and my girlfriend have been together a little under five years. We live in different cities but they're close enough that we see eachother pretty much every other weekend. For what's technically a long distance relationship we get along amazingly and have never fallen into any of the LDR issues we were warned about. We've even discussed marriage, when she finishes her doctorate.
Anyway on a weekend we were together, I'd just driven 2 hours to see her so we generally just order a takeaway and watch TV. We were pretty much idly flicking through stuff when she said, out of the blue, "do you ever think about how you could easily kill me, if you wanted to?" I pretty much freaked out, haha. Asked her what the fuck she meant by that. She tried to play it off like it was just some funny thought that popped into her head and started fake-laughing and shit but honestly it didn't seem like a joke. In that moment she seemed incredibly serious.
I dropped it because who wants to be the guy who can't let a joke go but it's been playing on me ever since. I stayed up till 5am that night with it going over and over in my mind. We've never really talked in specifics about past relationships - just in very vague terms. But when she's been drunk she's mentioned an ex who once broke into her house after she broke up with him. She tells it like a funny story but I always felt like there could have been something more violent going on there. Selfishly, I guess, I didn't think about it much till now. (If I'm honest I don't think I wanted to - the thought of someone hurting her kills me.) Now, I'm wondering if she subconsciously categorizes me with him. Or if I did something to make her do that.
Please tell me what you guys think. Even if it's just that I'm nuts for overreacting to an off-the-cuff remark, haha. I'd really like to just get another perspective on this.
TL;DR: | gf asked if I ever thought about how I could kill her. She said it was a joke, I'm worried it meant something more. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [F26] dating [M31] discovered still dating his LT GF of [3 yrs]
POST: Guy approached me at starbucks..he proceeded to take me on a few dates. During that time I specifically asked him if he had a girlfriend or wife, he said he still lived with his ex but it was over and she was moving out. I asked about his relationship with her..he claimed they were on good terms but agreed to part ways. It turned into about 3 months of dating seeing each other every other day. Sexual relations ensued.
Suspicion arose when he asked to get a box of condom shipped to my place rather then his own. When I asked about it he got defensive about his ex seeing the package and being "weirded out".
Later I find his instagram account which he has never mentioned before and it has a picture of "date night" with his girlfriend from a few weeks ago. She has liked every picture of his and is tagged so I click on her account. She has tagged him in every photo and has even more pictures of them together. Even one of him at her graduation of in suit, a picture he sent me claiming to be going to his "client's son's graduation that his ex gf is also in that class".
About 2 hours after "liking" one of his photos on instagram his gf likes one of my photos. I assume she is making a point that she's suspicious of me as she must of found it odd she didn't know me and I liked one of his photos.
I'm not heartbroken, but I feel used and disgusted and genuinely bad for his cheated on gf. My initial reaction is to destroy this guy. I have enough evidence through sexual texts and photos to send to his gf. But I would like input as to how I should tie things up with this cheating bastard. Contact his gf? ignore him? suggestions.
TL;DR: | Started to see and sleep with a guy whom lived with his "ex-gf" found out it seems like they are still dating and he has been using me to cheat on her. Want revenge |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [22] with my girlfriend[21 F] 4 years, I'm her first/only serious relationship and she's getting concerned of me being her only one.
POST: Hi there Reddit.
Bit of background, I have been with my girlfriend for 4 years. We started going out when she was in high school, I am the only guy she has ever been with (I've had previous relationships before her). Very recently, we hit a bit of an obstacle - she doesn't normally have a lot of guy friends, but she visited this one in particular for a late night (I had previously had suspicions about him). Afterwards, I couldn't help but question her endlessly about it - Although I trust her 100%, I felt something was off. She confirmed his interest, but my endless questions was a lot for her - She was very unhappy with that, and I completely understand her. I was feeling a bit strange.
Recently, I believe she's become a bit attracted to this guy. He's the new thing in her life, and that's exciting for her. She's only ever been with me, and a lot of her friends have recently broken up long term relationships to explore other people. It's understandable that she would feel this way, and I can't relate completely to her situation because I have experienced relationships/sex outside of this one.
Reddit, I need your advice. Ideally, I'd like to excite her about our relationship more. I want her to feel the raw sexual excitement again with us. But I also want to hear the other side - Maybe I should be letting her go, letting her explore, and hope that she comes back. This would make me quite sad, but perhaps it's inevitable, and I'd rather it happen now than later down the track (when, for example, married).
Also, should I say something again about her relationship with this guy? I know he's still interested, and I know she enjoys the flirting. But I do trust her 100%, and I don't want to stress our relationship by being the jealous boyfriend (like I did when she first brought it up).
Ultimately, I just want us to be happy, whatever situation we are in.
Thank you for any and all advice.
TL;DR: | Girlfriend has only ever been with me. She loves me, but I know she's interested in seeing other people. What's the best approach for dealing with this? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [24 M] with my girlfriend [24/ F] 2 years, She is in a really bad place and I don't want to be together
POST: I love my girlfriend but as of the past two months she has been really negative. She hates her dead end job and isn't that proactive about getting a new one but always moans about it. She is really depressed about life and seems to cry every day, I am moving abroad soon and this is getting her down. I am helping all I can to comfort her but it's really starting to bring me down too and I'm a bit sick of it. I kind of feel like I want to break up but I know it would destroy her. She is very worried about being single and me leaving her. She is worried about being single because all of her friends are in relationships. What should i do??
TL;DR: | girlfriend is sad which is bringing me down, don't want to make things even worse for her by breaking up but I feel i need to for me. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [20F] have no girlfriends, only guys. This is starting to bother me
POST: So I have a history of depression. I had a great group of girlfriends in my early years of high school and because of some bad decisions and mental issues, they all decided we were to no longer be friends.
It took me a while to get over this and when I finally did I made some new friendships but after high school they soon faded. I stayed close with one girl and we started hanging around a group of guys that we were friendly with during stages of our final years at school.
We all became a really close group but as time went on, and she got a boyfriend, we started seeing less of her and eventually it was just me and the boys left.
Today, I am now dating one of the boys in my group. We've been together for a year and obviously that has affected many of my friendships with the males in our group.
I find myself falling back into habits I developed when I had severe depression. Things like not wanting to go out, or hang with my guy mates, no motivation for work or school either. The only time I have motivation to do anything is when my boyfriend comes over or I go to his and we just watch movies or a tv series.
I want to get out of this behaviour, without seeking medical help. I have spoken to professionals in the past and it just didn't help me. I understand it works for some people, I just wasn't one of them.
I also am starting to worry about my lack of female friendships.
Should I start to rekindle some of my old girl friends, build bridges etc
Its not something that bothers me all that much, but I feel like in the years to come it is something that may impact me greatly.
So i guess what I am asking is, has anyone ever been in a similar situation? How do I get out of this funk of not wanting to go out or make any efforts with my current males friends?
and also, if any girls have been in my situation where they don't have any girlfriends, how did things work out? Did it affect you in stages of your life or are you content with just having guy friends?
TL;DR: | Over the years I have lost all of my female friends and now only have friendships with a group of guys and my boyfriend. I also lack motivation to make plans with these people due to my mental health/depression. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [M 27] with my friend [F 22], it's a weird story. But I just wanna be a-little closer.
POST: We been cool for awhile, early on we got distant because she had a feeling I liked her. Later she came around and I admitted it was true. We been cool again since then. She's been comfortable going to lunch with me and and even suggested we go and talk some more after she gets off of work(we both work together). Didn't have time though.
However, I have not really kept in contact with her. Mainly because Idk if she would ever respond to texts, and idk if I'll weird her out with phone calls.
Point is that she seems comfortable around me despite me admitting to her what I felt.
She said she still wants things I be the same. Cool.
TL;DR: | Have a friend. Whom I have feelings for, don't mind keeping it casual. I admitted my feeling to he and she's been comfortable around me since and recently invited me to lunch and coffee. |
SUBREDDIT: r/dating_advice
TITLE: How do i approach a cute girl at my course center?
POST: Since a few weeks i'm visiting this education center to learn and broaden my expertise. In my Country this is usually part of social benefit to those who don't have a Job and want to learn something new over the course of a few months/weeks.
Long Story short, there is a girl that caught my attention by being in the Smoking area every break and i just feel drawn to her, but i can't Point my finger at it why. Also, i feel it would be creepy if i just walk up to her and say something for the sake of starting a conversation, even more so if other People are around. I just can't seem to find a good reason to start talking.
Since i will be around for a few more weeks i expect to see her every day. I don't want to stare or draw Attention to me, so i'm asking myself: just don't know if i should talk to her. I definately would if i'd have a reason, but it seems that i just can't justify that now. Also, i sometimes see her on my way to the building where we sometimes awkwardly walk past each other. those are the moments where i'd like to say something but just don't know what.
TL;DR: | oman... pls halp, cute girl standing over there, how start a non-creepy, non-obvious, smalltalk without looking weird. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: SO[22M] and I[21F] have stopped doing things for/with just each other.
POST: He[22] and I[21] have been dating for four years and living together for one. We're both laid back and easy going and get along 99% of the time, so no problems there. But ever since we moved in together things changed. We're each very busy with school and work and I understand that our 'honeymoon phase' is over, but we never do anything for/with just each other anymore. I can't remember the last time one of us surprised the other with something special or did something fun that didn't involve friends or family. Two days ago it was our four year anniversary. We both had school and work that day, so we decided to go out to dinner last night instead. We had not been out or done anything in a long time, and I had been looking forward to it for weeks. After a nine hour shift at work I was ready to relax and go out to dinner. I get home and his best friend and best friend's girlfriend are over, which is fine, they stop by every now and then. They had been talking about the restaurant we were planning on going to, and then my boyfriend bombed it with this question: Do you guys want to go with us? I swear I physically felt my heart drop to my feet. Of course they accepted. So we got to spend our anniversary with two other people who had no idea. This is not the first time something of the sort has happened. I haven't told him it pissed me off and hurt my feelings that he gave away a night that was supposed to be for us.
As I've heard, men do not respond well to subtle hints and it's best to just be out with it. What do I say to him? How do I go about helping fix this? What can we do about it together? I'm a lot better with written words, would writing a letter to him be acceptable?
TL;DR: | Boyfriend and I never do anything together anymore. Boyfriend topped it off by inviting his friend and friend's girlfriend to our anniversary dinner. What do? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My SO and I feel like sex is dominating our relationship.
POST: My SO [19M] and I [18F] need to refocus our relationship.
I went to see my boyfriend today on his work break, and he said to me, "Remember how you said that you didn't want sex to be the main focus of our relationship? I feel like it is."
He is completely right. The last few months of our more than a year long relationship have been consumed with sex. The increase in sex has really damaged our relationship, because we don't talk much anymore and we fight a lot more frequently.
The problem is that we are used to having sex every day, and now it's going to be really difficult to cut back and refocus our relationship. We both feel like it is a necessary evil, though. I would rather sacrifice our sex life than ruin our relationship.
How can we refocus without losing intimacy??
TL;DR: | Boyfriend and I have been focusing our relationship on sex too much, we need to regain our emotionally connected relationship, while still keeping the same feeling of intimacy. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My SO of 3yrs has withdrawn from relationship but insists she doesn't want to break up
POST: I've [M22] been with her [F22] for 3 yrs and for the past 3 months she has been unable to express more than the bare minimum of affection. We had many talks about it and after several of those I think we are finally understanding why she is withdrawing from the relationship. She insists she isn't breaking up with me but needs space because she used to feel dependent on the relationship for her happiness. So I think she is getting over that now. Her need of space is her proving to herself that she can be independent and happy.
I go between understanding this tough situation requires a lot of patience and pulling my hair out thinking she is going to just slowly keep pulling away from me until we are as good as broken up. She insists there wasn't anything I did wrong to push her away. I wish there was so I could try to improve and move forward.
I am curious if others have been in situations where their SO needs "a break"/"space" from the relationship to feel independent?
TL;DR: | [f22] realized she used to feel dependent on [m22] after dating 3 yrs, needs space but doesn't want to break up |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: I am a 17 year old who doesn't know where to go and what do to with my life. What should I do? Can you guys please help me? I feel so lost.
POST: Hi reddit, as the title states im completely lost on what i want to do in life. Growing up, I always said that i wanted to become a doctor but recently (Im in college) i have no idea what I want to do. Im currently studying Biology, Chemistry, Physics, and Math in order to go down into the medical route, but lately ive been feeling that i have no passion to go into medicine.
I dont know if this is to do with me not having much exposure to medicine or if its just me being a hormone engulfed teenager. My dad is a senior medical doctor who works for a company called roche - he graduated from oxford university with a MSc and is working in cancer research and haematology. Ive always looked up to him thinking that i would like to follow in his footsteps, but the journey to becoming a doctor seems dreadful in the sense that i have to constantly work my ass off to get all A*s (I live in the UK) in order for a medical school to just "take a look" at my resume. My dad is more on the side of big pharma, so i dont really know what goes on in his work.
I want to help people, i want to make people's lives more easier, i want to give to my community, i want to feel a sense of accomplishment and acceptance. I dont want to be struggling for a job just because i cant make my mind up. I NEED to make my mind up because this year in my life is probably the most important year of it. I either make it or break it.
Im seriously lost reddit - and i feel this post is turning into more of a rant than a discussion... But i want to let you know how i feel. Like i said before, medicine is always in the back of my mind, but every time i think about it i just cant seem to muster enough passion for it. I need something reddit, i need that spark, i need that passion to drive me to achieve the best that i can do. Please, i need your help. It would mean so much to me.
TL;DR: | Please reddit, can you take some time to read my post? 17 year old having a career crisis desperately in need SERIOUS help. |
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU by smoking in my university halls, in Wales UK
POST: so, literally minutes ago I got caught smoking cigarettes in my university halls in Wales UK. Semi-FU more advice needed.
I had this gut feeling that I should wait to have my cigarette (which is normally smoked in my bathroom) but I ignored it and smoked away. Anyway, on to the FU..
My roommate next door left food unattended in the kitchen and he came up to ask who it is... so, he knocked on my door first and said "Have you been smoking in your room?" So I initially denied it but soon just became silent, he booked me which means I pay a £100 fine... I've been caught once before, and he let it go (I know, I'm a fucking idiot) but I suffer from sever anxiety attacks and I have GAD (Generalized Anxiety Disorder) so Here's where I need the advice, How do I deal with this entire situation and how on earth do I talk to the office about this??
TL;DR: | Anxiety ridden student (22F) smoked in my room and got caught, need help on how to deal with this entire situation |
SUBREDDIT: r/Advice
TITLE: A friend who I slept with one night while drunk has just told me she's pregnant ---- HELP!
POST: The story goes like this. At university I had a crush on a girl. She was fun, cheeky, teased me all the time and I teased her, and I always thought that some day we'd hook up and we never did.
Fast forward about 10 years (I'm 28 now) and we've started talking via Facebook. Loads of flirting, we both admitted our old feelings, but now our lives aren't really compatible. She lives out in the suburbs, I live in the city, she wants to move to the country and I want to move to *another* country.
One night about a month ago I got a late night call asking if she could spend the night at my place as the late night trains finished hours ago and she had no way home. The obvious happened and we both very drunkenly had sex.
Now she's just called and said that she wants to terminate the pregnancy and given that neither of us have a moral standpoint that seems like the logical thing. That being said, I need to be there for someone who is really just only ever going to be a friend. I really don't think either of us want to have a baby together, and I don't want to be an asshole to her, but how do I ensure that this is "taken care of" without coming off inconsiderate?
Any advice for how to be there for her? How I can help or just plain not make things worse? I am in Australia if that helps.
TL;DR: | I got one of my friends pregnant and we both agree on termination, but I want to be supportive and not an asshole while making sure this happens. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [18 M] discovered something unsettling about my SO HELP [18 F]
POST: Recently I began talking to a girl who I hadn't known very well, she was really nice so I gave her a chance and agreed to give her my number and see where it went from there. Once I told a close friend of mine who I was talking to he laughed as if I was making a terrible decision, and exclaimed to me that she was a total whore. In lack of belief I shrugged his insults off and proceeded to find out from myself, after talking to her for a while she told me she has been bouncing around from school to school because she didn't like the ones she was in, I believed her and left it as that because none of our conversations led me to believe she was a "whore". I later decided I really liked her and started dating her.
Soon after the same friend who told me she was a whore says he needs to tell me something about her, I asked what it was and he wouldn't tell me until we were in private. I give him a ride home today and he tells me she got suspended from her old school for giving a guy oral multiple times on campus, now I'm not one to judge a persons past but this is upsetting and hard to ignore. Should I ask her about it? Should I tell my friend to fuck off and stop trying to sabotage my relationship? What should I do?
TL;DR: | My SO got suspended from here last school for giving oral to a guy three times on campus, how do i proceed with this relationship and how do I go about asking her about it? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [25 M] with my [25 M] , close friend/roommate who apparently hates my guts
POST: Ok, so a bit of a weird situation here, anyway, the other day, my good friend and roommate of three years left his laptop open to his facebook messages. Curiosity got the better of me, and ended up stumbling on two conversations with two other people, where he kinda shat all over me for various reasons (some of which were completely wrong interpretations by the way), and complained about the various ways I was annoying him. There was another where someone asked why I was in his profile picture, even though he didn't like me. I know I shouldn't have read, and am paying the price now, but I can't unread what I have already read.
Prior to this, I thought him and I were very close friends, not best ever, but certainly very close, and at this point we still hang out all the time, and he has no idea I saw what I did. I've sorta had suspicions like these for a while, but every time I tried to bring it up, he downplayed it and pretended like there was nothing wrong, but obviously he has been getting annoyed for a while. I know that sometimes I can be a lot of friend which can be annoying, but if you tell me to shut the fuck up, I will and go about my business. I think the thing I am honestly most afraid of is that he doesn't give a shit enough to try and make things right. All that said, our friendship is actually okay most of the time to the best of my knowledge.
I have absolutely no clue how to handle this! I have a lot of anxiety about my friendships in general and certainly don't want to make things worse. I do think its possible that I'm blowing this out of proportion and of context, but I don't want to be putting time and energy into a friendship thats being maintained out of convenience than ya know, being friends with someone.
TL;DR: | Mandatory summary/question! Read something I shouldn't have, found out my roommate and good friend likes me a lot less than I previously thought. What do I do? |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Marrital Advice for a friend
POST: First this is a throw away account...
Basically I'm looking for advice on what to tell a male friend of mine (I'm a female) about his marital problems..
Heres the basic info:
-Hes been married for about 4 years
-2 kids together
-Hasn't had sex with wife in over a year
-Wife doesn't show any affection at all, refuses to hold his hand, cuddle, kiss or anything
-Wife refuses marriage counseling
-Says the reason she refuses sex is because she doesn't want to get pregnant again, but refuses to get tubes tied and says birth control doesn't work
-She doesn't work, hes the only source of income in the household as well
Hes thought about divorce but he is afraid he'll lose his children if he does and he can't go without seeing his kids. His kids are his life. What do you think he should do? Has anyone else been in a similar situation? If so, how did it pan out for you?
TL;DR: | Friend's wife doesn't show any affection & hasn't shown it in over a year, friend is almost at his wits end with it and is afraid to lose kids if they get a divorce.. What to do? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: [16f] I hate my Boyfriend's Bestfriend [17f]
POST: My boyfriend and I have been dating for 3 months and he's 16 too. His bestfriend is a girl, and before we started dating I was kinda worried about their friendship because people have spread rumors that they've done sexual stuff together, and I don't know if I feel comfortable letting my boyfriend have a female bestfriend. They've been friends for years and ever since we started dating she is being mean to me. I didn't really know her before since she's a grade above us but she was never mean to me before.
She gives me dirty looks in the hall and stuff and she would do stuff like, purposely approach my boyfriend while I'm there and ask him if he wants to hang out with her after school or something like that and it makes me sooo angry. A few times when theyve been in the hall and I walk by them she will literally put her hands on him, like if its hugging him or something like that or even grabbing his hand, or she acts flirty to him. All this went on throughout the entire time we've been dating but last night I went through my boyfriends phone kind of and I found something I wish I didnt see.. She was texting him telling him he should break up with me and stuff. He was like brushing her off and telling her to stay out of his relationship and she just kept saying that stuff. I feel like she is trying to take him from me and i get really jealous of her and i just want them to stop being friends. she has always hated me from the second i started dating him and i didnt do anything to her. Why is she like this :/ What can I do...
TL;DR: | my boyfriend's bestfriend tries flirting with him infront of me and does stuff to purposely make me jealous, i feel like she's trying to take him from me. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I'm (21F) worried about my LDR with my boyfriend (21M).
POST: I'm on a throwaway just to make sure he doesn't ever see this since he is on reddit sometimes.
I love my boyfriend very much and I know that whatever he does is in our best interest. He's the only one currently working since I'm in college right now. He helps out with whatever I need when he can and is an overall A+ significant other.
We spoke earlier and he plans to get a second job in order to make ends meet. This made me rather nervous and uneasy because I know what being overworked looks like in a relationship and I just don't want that for us. I already explained to him how I felt about it and he assured me that it wouldn't cripple our relationship at all.
I guess my problem is, how do I deal with this? I'm in college over a thousand miles away and he's somewhere else working his ass off. I feel deeply ashamed that I cannot contribute more to help out. I've had countless interviews for work up here but none have been fruitful. I would do anything to ease the financial burden on his shoulders.
Am I selfish for thinking this way? I don't want to lose someone I love so much because they worked themselves ragged.
TL;DR: | S/O plans to get a second job, I'm worried about his health and our relationship in the future being severely impacted by it. |
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU by failing out of college before my senior year
POST: Well, I was told by my adviser today that is very likely I will not be able to graduate college, at least from the journalism school which I have worked my ass off in for almost four years. I have a 2.5 GPA and it should be at least over a 3. Here is why:
In the school that I go to, I cannot take a class more than twice. I haven't. But computers hate me. I took an online class last semester that was a required class and dropped out. I only completed work in the first week of that class. I guess the computer never fully registered that I dropped it but I didn't know that at the time and no one else told me about it.
Well, I took it again, thinking it's actually my first time taking the class. I failed it. It was a law class. That shit was really hard and I thought I was a good student too. Well, now I find out that I did not actually drop the class when I first took it and the teacher failed me for not doing any of the work.
I am positive that I sent an email saying I had dropped the class to my professor, but my email I sent it from was hacked recently, so I cannot get to it. Obviously, my verbal word does nothing in this situation.
And, the professor is saying that he never received this email. Now, I must write a letter to the dean of the school pleading my case, which my adviser has told me barely ever works. Looks like I'll have to get my degree in general studies...
TL;DR: | I thought I had dropped a class and took it again, but the computer didn't fully process it, so I ended up failing the class twice and now I'm about to not graduate. Cool. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [24 M] with my on/off gf [24 F] of 7 months, when and how is a good way to challenge a break.
POST: Met Aurea a year ago but then we were both with other people. we kept in contact through the break ups and attented the same parties. i started pursuing her romantically near the end of the summer but we decided not to label it anything.
well i officially asked her out a few days before christmas. by that point we had fallen head over heels over each other so it seemed right.
Well about a month after that, right after dinner. she was criticizing me and saying how she felt i was being irresponsible in my life and a bit too care free when i came over to her place. i didn't take it nicely and sort of lashed out at her and accused her of never caring for me.
So we broke up or agreed on a break that we would possibly amend in the future.
Since then ive messaged her everyday to say good morning and good night and i also make sure to tell her i care for her a lot every day. so we still communicate through text really well and we send each other pictures. um we see each other about once a week for dates sometimes twice. we had sex last week and last weekend she visited me at work and we kissed in front of all my coworkers.
I miss her immensely. i do want to give her time and space but i also wish our relationship could go back to its peak. how can i approach her correctly so we can maybe be together again?
TL;DR: | we decided to go on a break in our relationships but we are still intimate when we see each other. i would like to stop the break without pushing her away. got any advice? |
SUBREDDIT: r/dating_advice
TITLE: I [19 F] am unsure what to do with my fwb [19 M]; we act more like we are in a relationship than fuck buddies, and I'd like to actualize that but don't know how.
POST: So I have been in a friends-with-benefits situation for the past couple of months with a really good friend of mine. We're both attending the same college (where we met) and grew close before mutually deciding to bang in our spare time (without any obligations to each other).
A little bit ago (about two months), he--let's call him Mark--told me that he might pursue another girl and so he wanted to stop the on-the-side screwing. He only said this because a girl had come up and declared her interest in him, and he felt it wasn't right to be dallying with two girls at once. Two days later, Mark changed his mind and we've been back to fwb since.
Besides that incident, Mark has not once actually expressed interest in anybody else. More than that, because we were and continue to be such good friends, I feel like he acts more like a boyfriend than a fwb. In fact, I'd really like to call him my boyfriend--he is essentially filling the role in everything but the name. The problem is, I think the idea of cementing our relationship status makes him a little leery (Mark's had some weird experiences with chicks in the past). Even more than that, I'm still not sure whether or not he wants the pressure of having me as a "girlfriend." I think that he puts a lot of unnecessary negative weight on the term (ie I would expect more of him, repeat his negative experiences, etc.).
That being said, I really like him and I want to give this a genuine shot. Should I just leave it as is and hope he comes to me/things develop on their own, especially since he's very shy about it? Or should I take an initiative and somehow open that line of communication now?
TL;DR: | Fwb is amazing, and acts like a boyfriend rather than fwb. I want to make that an actual thing, but have no idea how, or if its even a good idea. Help. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: I [22 M] am in a long distance relationship with my GF [23/F] for 4 months and it's getting tough. Should I move back?
POST: I'll try to keep it as short as I can, so I won't take you through the entire relationship background - just a brief overview.
I've actually known my girlfriend since we were ~ 15 and we were good friends for a few years until we lost touch with one another. Last I saw her was at a workplace which I applied for and she happened to be there as well. Naturally, I picked up a conversation with her and from the beginning I noticed that this wasn't a typical small talk conversation. I enjoyed speaking with her very much.
We began talking more frequently, until we starting meeting outside of our workplace. We fell in love with each other quickly after going out on a few occasions. We have been together for about 7 months - probably the best of my entire life. The reason that I left the country is because It was very challenging. I was having a very rough time in that country and was not enjoying living there so much. I made the decision to leave (back to the place from which I originally came).
It has been about 4 months that we've been doing LDR. I've seen her for two weeks in between this time so far and it's so hard on my heart, and hers too. It hurts me to think that she doesn't have her man beside her. I need my woman. I love her with all my heart. I want to be with her every day, and every night. Now that the distance is between us, I really feel the difficulties.
To make matters more complicated, I haven't been able to start college yet and have only been enrolled for one month. College was the primary reason for my return. I don't have the education/means to support ourselves. I don't want to do something ignorant and risk my education (and therefore my income capability) or our future.
Also, she cannot reside where I do, but I can always live back with her.
So I am absolutely confused and would love to hear some advice from all of you. Should I stay put? go back and stay with her?
Thank you.
TL;DR: | In an amazing relationship with my GF of 10 months. Long distance for 4. It's very hard to be away from her and I don't know whether I should consider going back. |
SUBREDDIT: r/weddingplanning
TITLE: [ALTERATIONS PSA] Mind the bustle!
POST: [I posted the other day about how sad/worried I was about alterations.] The seamstress is not bad at her job, by any means, but my dress has some complicated pickups at the bottom that aren't totally uniform. So it doesn't have a specific way it NEEDS to look, but at the same time, it's hard to figure out how it maybe should look, after it's hemmed and all that jazz.
I went yesterday for my final fitting and still, one layer just looked stupid. It was higher up than the layer before it, so you didn't see it at one point. It was so upsetting. I took a deep breath and asked the seamstress to unbustle it so I could get a look of the total dress. In unbustling, it fell how it should. It was bustling that pulled this layer up! 10 minutes of adjusting the bustle placement, and I had a dress that looked good bustled and unbustled.
TL;DR: | How your gown is bustled is just as important as how it is with the train down. Pay attention to both during alterations! |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My [20 m] girlfriend [20 f] is suffering from depression and won't listen to my advice
POST: My girlfriend suffers from depression and anxiety. We've been dating for 10 months and she has been suffering this way since college started (we are both juniors). She hasn't been diagnosed recently but in elementary and middle school she went to counseling for anger issues and depression and self harm issues related to bullying. She currently holds a high leadership position in her sorority, is an honor student, holds a leadership position in our schools newspaper, holds a leadership position in an international students event board (she is not an international student) and she is an honor student taking honors level classes, all while holding a part time job at restaurant where she works from 4 to close three times a week.
She has been feeling overwhelmed regularly and says that she can't quit her job because it would look bad on her resume (she's been working there since the start of the summer around June) and that she doesn't have time to talk to our schools counselor and won't reach out to her despite talking to the counselor over the summer and last semester. She's had panic attacks and will break down crying maybe once or twice a week. One time in particular after we had come back from a party she had a really severe panic attack and told me she wanted to kill herself or just die. I've been telling her that I think she needs to quit her job, but she says it would look bad on her resume. In addition I've been telling her she needs to talk to the counselor at school (in the past the counselor noted that I was right to keep encouraging my girlfriend to talk to the counselor).
I'm at a loss and I feel like I've made myself clear on these issues, it's starting to make it difficult for me, trying to deal with her emotions while still dealing with my own responsibilities, and I feel like it's difficult for me to spend time away from her when it's her free time because she takes it negatively. I haven't expressed any of that to her cause I don't know if it's a good idea to tell someone suffering from depression and anxiety like she does that they could be burdening you in any way.
TL;DR: | My girlfriend doesn't seem to listen to advice and it's starting to be a problem, what can I do to be more helpful? |
SUBREDDIT: r/dating_advice
TITLE: Wanting to date ex-friends ex-gf but not sure how/when to ask
POST: Alright so I'll start with the basics
Me: 24 M
Ex-Friend: 24 M
Girl: 24 F
I've known both of them for roughly 6 years. They've dated for around 3 years. I had a crush on the girl earlier before they started dating, and my friend basically ignored my feelings and started dating her. At that point I didn't feel physically or financially stable so I didn't really want to get into a relationship with anyone.
Ex-Friend was kind of a good guy to start off with, but never really supportive and never had anything nice to say after a while so I stopped talking to him.
Girl and Ex-Friend have stopped dating now and I want to try to date her but I don't know how long I should wait before she's ready to date again and if she is ready how to ask her without making it really akward.
We hang out most weekends but generally around other people so it's hard to get her alone and to add onto that she's a incredibly busy person.
TL;DR: | I want to date my ex-friends GF but I dont know how long to wait before asking her and when I do ask her how to approach it. |
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU by not drinking out of the carton
POST: I went to have a glass of Lactose free milk, I strongly considered for several minutes just drinking it right from the carton - being the bachelor living solo that I am, it seemed all too right.
But being that I am moving in with a roomie that also happens to be female, I decided to train myself to break these 'dude' habits and went for the glass.
I went to grab one of my mason jar mugs with a smaller opening at the top and decided I wanted to mason jar with the wide mouth opening and snagged it.
I poured my glass, go to turn - and the bottom literally falls out of the glass. (Here's an aftermath pic: [Imgur](
Not only did I ignore my initial feeling to drink from the carton, but I also went out of my way to not pick the right cup :| I should also note, I didn't crack it on anything at all. It was mid air and just BAM! Good bye bottom
TL;DR: | Had two chances to drink my beverage from a safe container and opted for the one that broke... I also wasn't even that thirsty |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me 28 M with my GF 30 F of less than a year, I cannot stop thinking about other women
POST: I'm deployed to Afghanistan. I've been here for 11 months. This is my first deployment with the Army, but it's not my first long time away from a GF. I used to sail commercially; I've spent months away from an SO without this problem. Admittedly, I was a lot younger.
A year before deploying, I broke up with a different GF of several years because I thought I couldn't handle a long distance relationship. Months before I deployed, the current GF essentially says "Even if you break up with me later, it will be worth it." I felt somewhat coerced, but she is one of the most amazing people I've ever met. Very attractive, very cute, very sweet, no crazy girl emotional stuff, and smarter than I(super important). She has very few personal or physical flaws.
The problem is that I cannot stop thinking about other women. Ever. I'm very much into tits. I would think it's bordering on a fetish. I used to hook up with a girl with huge breasts. She also wanted to date. I was able to turn her down. We remained friends, and I was generally supportive. Now that I'm dating another woman, I cannot stop thinking of her.
GF and I went to the Philipinnes about 4 months ago as part of the R&R deal. I had a blast, she was super sweet. Sexually, we really started connecting. Even then, I couldn't stop staring and thinking. Why can't I stop thinking about other women, ex-gf's, and ex-hook ups, and just flirting with all of these women out here(some of the french, german, italian women are amazing)? It's not just lust either. I think of my ex-gf and I feel horrific that I left her b/c I didn't want to deal with a long distance relationship, yet I went and started dating another woman. Why can't I be happy with a good thing?
I can't stop masturbating, but I think that would still be a problem in any relationship I have.
TL;DR: | I just cannot stop thinking of other women. Even when spending time with my gf, I can't stop staring and thinking of other women. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [28F] with my husband [29M] - bathroom towel habit that irks me
POST: This problem pales in comparison to many posted on this subreddit, but I'm not sure how to approach this in a way that would elicit change:
My husband (of 2+ years, been together over 9 years) cannot shower unless he has a towel to wipe his eyes. He hates when water gets into his eyes and constantly wipes them during the shower, typically using a hand towel hung over the shower curtain rod. This obviously makes the towels very wet and sometimes he even uses big bath towels hung over the shower curtain.
The issue is that he often keeps the towels there and never changes them. This leads to mildew build-up and the towels actually TURN PINK with mildew!! I told him it's unsafe and unsanitary (plus it stinks up his bathroom) and we've thrown out towels before due to this. I've just had to throw out another hand towel today and when I brought it up, he got angry and dismissive and stated that he was just going to buy his own towels.
The reason why I don't just hang up the towels or wash them myself is because we have separate bathrooms (this never was a problem in our old house when we had one bathroom) and for a while, he was getting in the habit of hanging them up behind the bathroom door. I just checked his bathroom today and smelled the mildewed towel and threw it out.
Question: how do I approach this with him so that when we eventually move in the future (to a place with one bathroom, perhaps), we don't have to keep throwing out towels and he won't get mildew in his eyes/face? He's not very receptive to my reminders now as he sees them as nagging.
Thanks for the help!
TL;DR: | Husband's shower towels build up mildew - he never maintains them and keeps using them to wipe his eyes/face. Multiple attempts have been made to get him to take care of them - current attempts seen as nagging. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [23 F] having issues with [21 F] that are affecting my other friendships
POST: I recently moved back to my home town. I was looking forward to seeing my old friends from high school; most of whom I had kept in touch with.
However, since I moved home, they've stopped talking to me. I had tried to throw a holiday party and invited them with the thought that they'd come and it'd be like old times. At first they were really excited about coming, and then they all declined. Since then they haven't talked to mech at all. I asked one of my friends what happened and why they were all avoiding me. He said that it had to do with Abby.
I was confused for a moment, because I know a couple people named Abby (I changed her name her of course blah blah) anyways, when he told me which Abby, I wanted to laugh.
The background of Abby and I was that in high school, she dated a one of my exes. I had never met her. The only interaction I had was when she threatened me over myspace (I was 16 I think) to stop being friends with her boyfriend (my ex). I responded rudely. Later my ex came to me with her sob story that I bullied her and was telling her that I was going to steal him back. I sent him the conversation and he ended it with her.
Well turns out Abby is dating one of my old friends now. When she found out that he was friends with me, she was livid and told him that I bullied her in high school. The guy texting me said that he could hang out with me when Abby and her boy friend aren't there. He said that the others probably weren't talking to me because they didn't want to make her or her boy friend mad.
I have never met this woman in real life and I'm stunned that she has allowed her grudge to continue this long. I'm hurt that my "friends" would be totally fine with cutting me out of the group because of something petty in high school.
Is there any way I can get them to be my friends again? I want them to know my side of the story :(
TL;DR: | Girl hates me because petty drama (that she initiated) in high school and it forbidding my friends from spending time with me. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Reddit, my roommate stole my credit card, blackmails me and takes advantage of the fact that I am foreign. What can I do?
POST: Ok, I am in the USA for an exchange program for 1 semester. I live in the dorms with a roommate that was assigned to me. First night I was here, the police come looking for her 5 times between Midnight and 5AM. I don't really pay attention and think that she must have been the victim of something.
On the day of Valentines day, she stole my credit card, spent +$200 at Family Dollar, McDonalds etc. I did not think it was her until the day she returned the card to me, pretending to find it on my cupboard… She first asked me not to file a complaint because she has a criminal record and threatened that her boyfriend (gangter type) would beat me up. I took action against her but still don't have my money and we are still rooming together. She is now blackmailing me into telling the police that I smoke marijuana on a regular basis (which is true). Given the fact that I am here on a student visa, it is a risk I am not willing to take.
Now she plays loud music all night, leaves food to rot everywhere although she has a fridge, talks really fast in ebonics with her friends about me so I don't understand everything… The semester is almost over and yet I am completely depressed and feel unsafe. I know that she goes into my stuff almost everyday. I have no idea what to do…
TL;DR: | Roommate stole credit card and threatens to tell the police I smoke up, I am in the US on a visa. |
SUBREDDIT: r/running
TITLE: Question about goals after being sick
POST: I'm going to preface this with; I'm kind of an idiot.
I'm training (or was training) for a half marathon in 9 weeks. This will be my first half and I am ridiculously excited. I was training for a month before I got sick and was able to run up to 8 miles at a time, I was making really good progress.
Then I got bronchitis. This isn't entirely abnormal for me, I normally get bronchitis every 6 moths or so, its never been a huge deal for me. However, I went against doctors orders and kept training, I slowed down and did shorter run, but kept running.
And now I have pneumonia and can barely walk without getting out of breath. I know I brought this on myself, and I know now to stop running until I get theft ahead from the Dr., but my question is whether I should cancel the half. I've been told not to in for at lest 2 weeks, will that give me enough time to get into even decent shape?
TL;DR: | I'm an idiot who ruined my lungs and cant run for 2 weeks. Can I run a half marathon 7 weeks later? |
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU by accidentally tweeting someone
POST: Alright well I was checking my twitter last night when I realized that there was a random tweet that I posted, but I never noticed..
There was an insanely heartfelt tweet from an extremely attractive girl to her boyfriend, and then there was my mystery tweet in response to her's that went something along the lines of " NO SE DE QUE AS;LDASL FDSOFF DS[SDKFN ." I have no idea how this was sent and when I noticed it last night, I also saw it was a month old.. I went to DM the girl explaining what happened, and how I wasn't bein a fucking creep or some shit.. But it turned out she blocked me a while ago because of that tweet. So now she will forever think I'm a creep, and I have no way to explain..
I have no idea how this happened, but my best guess would be i accidentally opened twitter in a sleepy daze and accidentally sent it..
TL;DR: | I accidentally tweeted a bunch of random spanish and gibberish at a girl, she saw it, then blocked me before I could say what happened.. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: In a drunk voice note, my boyfriend (of 1 yr) told me he was previously married
POST: My bf (of almost 1 yr) lives in a different city and we only see each other every 3 months or so. He is 36 and I am 22 (f). He frequently sends me voice notes on his way home from a night out... Last nights was different. He was intoxicated and told me he had something he had to tell me. He revealed that in his previous relationship they weren't just bf and gf as he had stated numerous times before but they were MARRIED. Married for 4 years and then divorced for a year before he met me. It doesn't matter to me that he's been married before. I just don't understand why he felt the need to keep it a secret. We are very open with one another (or so I thought) and we have talked on multiple occasions about our respective previous relationships so he had plenty of times to tell me. Why did he feel he couldn't tell me? Should I be worried about other things he may be hiding or will hide?
Like I said, it doesn't bother me that he was married before, I'm just sad that he has only told me this now.
TL;DR: | boyfriend of almost a year tells me he was married before. Why has he kept it secret till now? I'm hurt and wonder if there is more he is hiding/will hide |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: How can a mother ensure she has her child returned to her from her father?
POST: A good friend of mine and his fiance need your help reddit:
My friend is in a relationship with a girl who has a beautiful three year old son; the child's father who is largely if not entirely out of the picture (**no child support, little to no attempt in contacting the mother or child**) recently contacted the mother asking to have the kid for about 13 days so his family can meet the child. How can the mother make sure she gets the kid back? If she allows the child to go is possession 9/10ths of the law? Or is there any way for the mother to guard against the father refusing to return the child at the previously agreed to date.
Relevant: The final child custody hearing isn't scheduled for a few months.
TL;DR: | How can a mother make sure the father of her child brings her child back and doesn't attempt to just take the kid and use that against her for a child custody hearing. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [24 M] with my girlfriend [22 F] 10 months, she(22F went three years deep on my facebook and now is questioning life
POST: **Backstory**
My girlfriend has never been in a real relationship before. When we met I had just gotten out of a 2 year + relationship. We met online and instantly hit it off. We've been dating very steadily for almost a year now.
From time to time she has lots of bad feelings that I was in a long relationship. Jealousy, curiosity etc.. etc.. I feel like she doesn't fully believe me when I say I love her more than I have ever loved anyone else in a relationship and almost holds it against me that I have any past since she doesn't.
Anyway, today she was looking through my Facebook profile and going really far back. To her defense I barely use Facebook and don't have much on there so it's not a crazy thing to go back a few years after a little looking. So she finds a post from almost three years ago when I was with my ex calling her "the LOML" - love of my life. This is a pet name my current girlfriend calls me, and introduced to our relationship. She was crushed reading this and feels like "I stabbed her"..
I feel like this is an entirely unfounded response to something so old and unrelated to us. What is the consensus here?
I'll be on here so if there's anything that needs clarifying just ask...
TL;DR: | My girlfriend creeped three years deep on my facebook profile, saw that I called my long term ex the love of my life "LOML", a nickname my current girlfriend assumed she invented for us, and is now incredibly upset.. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: When does it become too much? Me (18M) her(17F)
POST: Simply put, when does it become too much to try and come in contact with someone by means of texting or calling? I've been talking to a girl for a month or so now who has gone out with me a few times. We have kissed and made out but no further. The thing is that I don't know how far her interest in me goes. At the moment she is on vacation and I try to text her to see how it's going and what not but she doesn't always respond and when she does its single words or small sentences. It's like I have much more interest in her and we don't share the same feelings towards each other. But the thing about it is that she like a week before talked about how she missed me and what not and how she couldn't wait to see me but it's like my texting her may be pushing her away. I feel it's stupid to post here with a question about such a premature relationship, but I truly do like this girl I just feel maybe she doesn't like me. Is it just that maybe she is always busy or tired or am I making myself much more available to her than I should and more than she is willing to give back in return if you can understand what I am talking about. I talked to her about it earlier and told her how I felt about her truly and that I didn't feel that based on her contact with me and the effort she seems to put into this. I felt ridiculous having called her and talking about it but I felt better after. I was just getting angry with the way it was so I left it at her having sent the last message. And yeah I feel immature going about it like this but I just can't tell if she honestly likes me. Any advice appreciated thanks.
TL;DR: | talking to girl for a month, I seem more interested in her than she in me for the most part, but sometimes not so much. Need advice. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Mixed Signals from Far Away
POST: So I'm (M20) in a somewhat casual (I don't know what it is. It's complicated.) relationship with a great girl (F20), but I've been away for the summer. We still talk a lot, but we never say anything about what we have so I'm a bit confused about what I can expect when I see her again (in two weeks) She says a lot of things that give me a lot of hope, but other things that push me towards pessimism. So I want to share some of these and see what Reddit thinks. Either way, I'm going to be either relieved that things are going well or able to prepare myself for the worst.
* A little background. We started hanging out a month or so before I left. We've done a lot of kissing and a little feeling around, but nothing more than that. The last time we saw each other, there were no talks of putting anything on hold. She said she was going to miss me. We spent our last night in town together. We kissed.
* She talks about how she can't wait to go places together when I get back. She's mentioned the beach a few times as well as other places around town. Sometimes, the opening text of a conversation is when she sends one of excitement towards these things.
* She talks about having movie nights (which, for us, have usually ended with making out and cuddling) and lots of them. She specifically names movies, some of which are movies she knows we've both seen.
* She calls me 'dude' or 'man' a lot. She occasionally calls me buddy.
* She talks about drinking alcohol with me (something we've never done before).
* She has told me that I'm cute and intelligent and some other fun compliments.
* She uses smiley emoticons often.
* For the last two weeks or so, she has always been the first to text me.
* She has talked about giving me a present since my birthday was over the summer.
Am I looking too deep into these things or is it probable that these are signs that what we had isn't over?
TL;DR: | I've had a lot of good signs and a few bad signs concerning my casual relationship. After months apart, will it probably continue? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [24F] with my __(ex) friend_ [40F] of 2-3 years- I recently found out she is a registered sex offender. I have stopped all contact with her. Did I overreact? Am I a jerkface?
POST: We met through a religious (Islam) group. She is a nice friend, and I was advising her on stuff where a background check would come up. She mentioned jail time, so I googled her name.
Her conviction is rape of a 13 year old boy (or 16, conflicted reports) when she was around 30 y/o, and she was sentenced to the max punishment of 7 years imprisonment. She served her time.
---
The thing is, she would have never told me this witch hurt my trust. Secondly, I work with people that age as a career, and plan on adopting in the future. Even though this is (was?) an online-only friendship, wouldn't it hurt my job and adoption prospects? I mean she can't even get a job or a apartment because of the crime.
---
Please advise guys... really confused here. Also, this happened prior to her conversion to Islam. Shouldn't I forgive her just on that grounds, that God forgave her?
TL;DR: | Online friend is a registered sex offender b/c rape.! Did I make the right move by cutting her out of my life? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [18 M] with my SO [20 F] ending adruptly
POST: So I met this girl who I have a lot in common with and we think the exact same way. I originally thought there was no way she could like me, but she wanted me to go to a party with her. I ended up going and kissed her at the end of the night. For two weeks we saw each other everyday and hung out for hours. She started going out of her way to kiss me and she talked about how relationships nowadays were just thrown away. She talked as if she really wanted us to work out. I'm decently experienced and I think she is too in the dating world. One day when we are just sitting together and I kissed her she goes outside to meet one of her girl friends. She took a while and then comes back looking like shes about to cry. So i go outside and she basically says that she doesnt want to hurt me and basically wants us to still be friends. I was caught so off guard that i wasnt crying when she was but it really messed with my head the next few days. Anyway before that week she had told me that she might be a bit distant, but it was only because she was really stressed about her exams. Anyway this was the only girl that Ive ever actually felt a potential to love. Its so strange and idk what to do because I really thought she felt the same way about me. I just want some sort of guidance because she meant a lot to me for such a short period of time. Is there any possibility that she still wants to be with me? I think that maybe I came off to strong because I saw myself being with a girl seriously for the first time in a while.
TL;DR: | Met a girl, we had a lot in common, claimed to like me and showed through her actions, but she ended things I think because I was getting to serious. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: Mutually broke up with girlfriend of 2 years. Never felt so hurt, need advice.
POST: I'll try and keep this short: my now ex-gf and I dated for 2 years and a few months. We are 20 years old, and I go to college 1.5 hours away from her. We have had our difference and arguments, but she really hasn't liked us lately because of the distance, me hanging with other girls at school from time to time, and how she lives a separate life without me around. That's primarily the reason for the break up.
We mutually agreed we both cannot do this right now, but since I am now home for the summer and we live 10 minutes away, we can't stop talking to each other and occasionally having sex. We still love each other very much and consider each other to be one another's everything. She hopes we can be together after college, but that's two years from now.
I find myself to feel lonely without her, since she doesn't want to hang with me or talk as much. She has a ton of friends around home because she commutes to school, and I only have a couple around which I don't see that much.
I guess I'm just looking for advice on what's best for both of us. Is it wrong to be seeing each other and talking time to time, or should we just cut off all contact with each other? How can I get my mind off her so I don't break down without her?
TL;DR: | My girlfriend and I mutually broke up, but we occasionally talk and hang out. We still love each other very much. Should I cut off all contact to get over her, and how can I get my mind off her? |
SUBREDDIT: r/jobs
TITLE: How to quit new management position before the full year is up
POST: I'm considering quitting my full-time job and finding something part-time instead while I focus on my part-time evening MBA program.
I took up a position as a production manager at a small company after relocating to Florida with my boyfriend. It's a new role they created after the previous web project manager left that was meant to encompass office management/accounting/project scheduling. I was excited at first since it was a much larger role than my job as a QA manager at a big e-commerce company.
Long story short, things didn't turn out the way I thought they would. It's likely a result of me either not asking enough or the right questions during the interview. Either way, the team is entirely dysfunctional and is just barely getting through its production schedule despite efforts to work with individual developers on meeting deadlines/budgets. The devs basically try to circumvent their own manager whenever deciding on new approaches and their manager is so overbooked that he has no time to intervene or hold them accountable for missed deadlines ever. Also never teaches them anything or get everyone on the same page. Wonderful. /rant
Anyway, I stuck with it to at least give myself time to learn what I could and make myself useful even if the team was kind of toxic/uncooperative (I've definitely dealt with difficult people and still been able to get results!). I'm at 11 months (employment anniversary will be in March) but now I'm at the point where I've decided there's really no future for me there. Web development just isn't my industry, or at least it isn't with that team. I'm also never really going to advance - I report into the CEO.
My boss is fine with me pursuing my MBA so long as it doesn't affect my performance at work - originally I said it wouldn't. What's really affecting my work is my complete lack of drive or inspiration to even do the projects I signed for because I can't seem to make it work with the team. I don't want to stay there knowing the quality of my work will just go keep going down.
TL;DR: | What's the best way to tell my boss that I changed my mind and want to go part-time while going to school? Should I just be honest about not feeling like a good fit after nearly a year? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [23 F] with my boyfriend [25 M] of 3 years, ultimatum time due to me being stressed and stressful.
POST: I'm going to keep this as short as possible. I've always been a very neurotic person (diagnosed with OCD at 16), I have little energy and get very stressed very easily. My boyfriend is the opposite - the least neurotic person ever, energetic and laid back at the same time.
At the start of our relationship I was doing the best I ever have in my life and it wasn't really an issue. Then life happened, and long story short our relationship dynamic changed from me dealing with little stuff on my own and rationally discussing big stuff with him to me looking to him for an answer to everything and then getting angry at him when he didn't have one.
We've been having recurrent fights about this for over a year. I think I've improved slightly in the last few months, but he says it's not enough. A few days ago we had a huge fight and he said he wanted a break because I'm making him stressed and unhappy and turning him into a person he doesn't want to be. We resolved things, but then we argued again yesterday morning and he said it again. This time it wasn't so much out of anger as it was out of exhaustion and hopelessness.
He said that if I couldn't do three straight days without getting stressed or starting a fight I would have to move out for a while. I promised I would do it.
Today I've already gotten stressed twice. I didn't mean to, it was like the promise vanished from my mind as soon as the things I reacted to happened because they seemed so important at the time.
He told me that I let him down and to pack my bags. I talked him out of it again. But I'm living on borrowed time here, and I need help. How the fuck do I control my emotions and reactions and save my relationship? It seems so easy but whenever I get caught up in the moment it's like I can't just stop and think.
TL;DR: | My boyfriend wants a break because I'm too consumed by anxiety and stress. I want to save us. How do I become better? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: How do I [19M] tell my friend [22M] that I'm going to date his ex [23F]
POST: So I'm in a bit of a bind. My friend got dumped by his ex about 5 months ago, and for about a month now me and her have been talking nonstop and last night some things happened and me and her a positive we want to be a couple.
However her ex is my friend and after a long mental debate I've decided I can't let a chance like her go because of a situation out of my control.
So how do I break it to my friend that I'm dating his ex? I can't do it in person sadly because he lives too far away and graduated our college last year so I can't just wait for the new semester
TL;DR: | How do I break it to my friend that I'm dating his ex in the nicest and least hurtful way possible? |
SUBREDDIT: r/dating_advice
TITLE: Need Help Talking to Girl
POST: Hi, this is my first post on Reddit and I've had this question but no one to ask it to, so I came to r/Relationships.
So I was at school today with the girl I've liked for a while (I have her for two class periods). And the first period she asked me for my hoodie and after the period was over me being a potato asked for it back, I probably should of let her keep it.
Then when we get to our second period together she called me best friend in a sarcastic way to start conversations with me multiple times. A little later we were to go outside the hallway for a procedure and she was sitting on the floor and asked me to help her up but me being the autist I was I grabbed by the wrist instead of the hand to pull her up and she went fell over. .-.
Before and after that incident she asked for a hug I denied it once or twice not to sound clingy or some shit, then the third time she asked me for it again and I said "Sure"... It was my first hug with a girl since like elementary school. It was the most awkward 4-5 seconds of my life, I did like a side hug because there was someone in front of us and I just like put one arm around her...
So, I need help talking to her, along the lines of what to say. She is one of the most popular and good looking girls in the school. She might not even like me, for all I know she thinks I'm gay and she wants to be my best friend.
TL;DR: | I'm a potato around the girl I like and she may or may not like me back, need help talking to her. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [19F] am not sexually attracted to my SO [21M] and am not sure where to go from here.
POST: A little background. I met my SO about 5 months ago and instantly hit it off although we remained friends until about a month ago. We met through a mutual friend (his best friend) and have been nearly inseparable ever since. There as been an undeniable connection between the two of us since day one. We've bumped heads a few times but nothing you can't recover from. He is in the US Army and I am in the US Air Force and we are both stationed at the same base. (This will help explain things later).
Emotionally there are no issues between us. We are two peas in the same pod essentially. The only issue I have right now is that I have no desire to have sex with him. I hadn't even thought about it until we decided to start dating. It's gotten to the point where I avoid being completely alone with him because I have no idea how to handle turning him down for it. I'm sure that ending the relationship is probably the best option but he is pretty clearly infatuated with me. I do love him and don't want him to going anywhere anytime soon but I don't think this relationship can continue if I'm not sexually attracted to him.
TL;DR: | So my question is how do I let him know I'm not sexually attracted to him in a way that would make our friendship salvagable (if at all possible)? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Not feeling important in her life, thinking of splitting up... Me[25M], her[23F] duration over 1yr
POST: Good evening reddit,
Backstory: I am dating a girl that I work with (not directly but in the same company). We have been dating over a year and I know that I am in love with this women. She has said that she doesn't know how to be in a relationship and she cant be not a single version of herself (not in a sluty way)
Issue: We see each over once a week (sometimes twice), even though we live in the same city (London). I struggle with how little we see each other and sometimes feel like I'm not actually her boyfriend. I've talked to her about this a few times recently and every time she has said: if she had more time to spare then she would spend it with me.
She prioritisers her friends over me all the time. On nights out she has offered me her sofa while her friends sleep in her bed (all female). It makes me feel unimportant but I understand that before I came along this was her norm. I would be ok with this if her friends didnt prioritise their bfs in the same situation.
Question: Am I wrong in expecting too much from her? If I cannot see a future in this relationship (as it is) should I end it?
Twist: We have booked a holiday next month and I don't want to air my issues until then. Talking about it during sounds dickish... but I dont think I can hold it in until afterwards!
What does reddit think?
TL;DR: | I feel unimportant in her life, not sure if I should split up with her or if I am being a dick. Also I seem to love putting things in brackets! |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: I [24/F] want to have FFM threesome for the first time w/ [27/m], worried about a couple things, need redditr's help.
POST: So I, [24/F] and my partner [27/m] have been dating for almost a year. I (like everyone else) have been burned by bad relationships in the past, but have always been very open when meeting potential new love interests, since everyone is different. This is also the story with my current partner. We've also both been on either side of the coin of infidelity (both have been cheated on and have cheated on).
That being said, both of us have what you might call a "progressive" view on monogamy and terminology when it comes to dating. We have talked about an open relationship, but are both in such a position where we care deeply about each other, so neither of us is actively searching for new partners. It's kind of more of an "if it happens, we'd rather know about it beforehand than find out about it afterwards" philosophy.
The fact is, both of us have been approached/tempted, but both of us have turned down these opportunities. The fact is, we are both incredibly fulfilled by each other, and have simply not been interested in pursuing anything on the side despite being semi-"open". We have an incredible sex life, jealousy is not a problem for us, and we are very effective communicators.
My partner [M], has brought up the idea of a FFM threesome. Neither of us has ever had one, and we're both curious. I'm pretty sexually open, somewhat bicurious, and have contemplated the idea (and I don't like the idea of a MMF threesome). I laid down the groundrule that she couldn't be a friend of ours and we should avoid developing a relationship with her post-threesome. I also would have full veto of the girl. Basically, it would be on my terms entirely. Since he caught my interest, it's something we passively bring up in conversation every so often. His birthday is around the corner, and I want this to share this experience with him.
TL;DR: | Loving, fulfilling open relationship for 1 yr, want threesome for bf's bday, worried of the following: |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Should I Study Abroad, Even if My Girlfriend Would Break Up With Me?
POST: So here's the deal: I'm in college and am thinking about studying abroad. It seems like a great opportunity, the classes match up, and it won't cost a shit-ton of money. I've been talking with my advisors and seeing about the possibility. Everything seems great. However, there's just one problem: my girlfriend.
My girlfriend and I have been dating for over 2 years. We met in high school, but at the moment, we are in a long distance relationship since she goes to a college about 6 hours away from mine. Everything about our relationship is amazing - we trust and love each other and I can't imagine being with anyone else.
When I brought up the idea of studying abroad, she got really quiet and started crying. The time when I'd be going would coincide with our breaks so that basically we wouldn't see each other for well over 4 months. I understand why she is sad, and frankly I'd be too. However, she said something that shocked me - she said "I don't want to lose you, but I think if we were apart for that long, we'd need to talk." Essentially, she said that she wouldn't be able to handle it, and we'd have to break up.
Now I have a dilemma - studying abroad sounds like the opportunity of a lifetime and I am strongly considering it. However, I do not want to lose the girl of my dreams, the one I may end up marrying because of a trip to another country. Any advice, reddit?
TL;DR: | I may want to study abroad, my girlfriend isn't too happy about it - she would probably break up with me, what do I do? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: BF (24M) said he loves me more than his ex
POST: so ive been in a relationship with this guy for two months now. first few dates i saw his ex's photo in his wallet. it was the only photo in there. i thought maybe he just forgot to remove it all these years until recently i asked him if he already forgot abt her and he said "forgetting". i tried not to make a big deal out of it but i couldnt keep it so next day i admitted that i couldnt get over what he said. then he tried to explain and told me "i love u more than i love her".
iam really thankful that he's being honest with me but i really cant stop ghinking abt what he said. its like hes telling me his heart belongs to both me and his ex and i get it we are new so he doesnt love me that much but im worried coz they broke up like 2 or 3 years ago and he cant seem to forget. will he ever? what to do? :(
TL;DR: | he said he is still forgetting abt his ex but he loves me more than he loves her. should i break up with him? |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Ex-Girlfriend Troubles. Any help would be nice.
POST: So, I had a party tonight and somehow my ex-girlfriend (She broke up with me two months ago, 2 days after Valentine's. Absolutely crushed me.) found out. She frequently flirted with me and whatnot, but I resist because I'm just not feeling it from her for fairly obvious reasons.
Now, I'm generally people retarded and usually don't pick up on signals or clues that would show interest my direction, but I'm fairly certain that she still likes me and would like to go out with me.
This ex-girlfriend almost destroyed a lifelong friendship between my best friend and I by cheating on me with him. Also, a (male) best friend of hers told me that the thing she missed most about me is that I would always cook bacon for her DESPITE the amount of attention, effort, gifts, romance, etc. that I gave her when we were dating. Apparently, my character doesn't mean shit to her. I tried my damndest to keep her and keep her happy (which I'm certain was very sucessful) only to be disappointed when (what feels like) she threw it all back in to my face.
Problem is, I've already started talking to this girl (Not at said party) who I think is a much, much better match for me and I really don't want to go out with the ex-girlfriend.
TL;DR: | I'm pretty sure ex-girlfriend still likes me, would probably like to go out again, I'm irate at her, I'm interested in another girl. Better details if you actually read everything. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [20 M] with girl im interested [19 F] of a few weeks, playing hard to get?
POST: So I was in a relationship of about 2 years that ended recently, and after it was over I met a girl I thought was intereted in me and decided to ask her out. We ended up going on a date friday and hung out later that night. On saturday we ended up hanging out again, but she was a lot more flirty and we ended up meeting up later that night. We went back to my room and watched a movie. She cuddled up to me and was very affectionate and flirty, and we talked for a few hours before she went home. I decided since I had been drinking a little that night I shouldn't do anything like try and hook up.
So the next day I ask her to get dinner and we go through the whole play hard to get dance. She never says no but instead says "its a little soon to eat dinner", and then I took that as she wanted to hang out sooner. After going back a few texts I decided to just stop texting. Later that night I saw her at dinner when I was with some friends and said hi but it felt a little awkward. Later that night I got a text that seemed like an apology where she said it wasn't that cool of her not to respond to my dinner invitation directly. I responded telling her that its ok, I would still enjoy getting dinner, which she replied to "as friends?". I can't tell if this is part of the flirting game we've had or if this is her way of saying shes uninterested. Being out of the dating pool for so long I have no idea to handle women who play hard to get.
TL;DR: | Girl I like and I thought like me responded to dinner request with "as friends?" and im not sure how to respond. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: To Send or not to Send a love poem inspired to a past SO?
POST: We were in a relationship in mid 2010 that ended in July. I cut all contact. Come Nov '10 she fessed she was with someone else meanwhile to keep a clean record and wanted to be friends. I deleted from FB, and hit the gym since. Now I just sent an email today saying, I am fine being in contact of sorts, and that I am not a jerk. Now considering sending these poems granted they were inspired by her but never shared with her. My only defense to such a dumb idea is that I would want to read poetry inspired by me.
TL;DR: | Considering sending love poems written to ex, who don't want to see nor I assume wants to see me, but have never shared them with her before. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Should I [20 F] apologize to my crush [M 23] about something that happened Saturday night, or is that too much?
POST: Ok, so I have been talking to this guy for about 4 months now. We have hooked up and flirt and text a few times a week but its definitely nothing official or anything.
On Saturday night, I was out with friends and got a snapchat from him just asking what up and stuff. We were talking for a bit and he ended up saying if i needed a ride home later to let him know. I didn't intentionally ignore him but I was drunk and just got distracted and didnt end up replying.
An hour or two later, he texted again saying "yay or nay?" and again, i remember reading it and intending to reply but I was drunk and shit happens.
When I realized in the morning that I hadn't gotten back to him I immediately felt bad, because for all I know he was waiting up til late to hear back from me (probably wishful thinking). So since i was done up and feeling cute yesterday i decided to snapchat him happy easter and get a conversation going but he ignored me. (I waited until like 8 or 9 to send it so he would hopefully be done with family stuff for the day)
TL;DR: | Guy i've been talking to/hooking up with for 4 months offers me a ride home, I stupidly but unintentionally ignored him all night. Now *he's* ignoring *me*. |
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU by misunderstanding a French question
POST: This was on a today many years ago. During highschool, I must have been around 15 or 16 years old, I went on a school exchange in France for two weeks.
I'm German, so naturally the first question I was asked on the school yard, after my host introduced me to his friends, was: "Tu l'aime bien Hitler?" - do you like Hitler? Now, when a French person says "Hitler", it sounds more like "EE-t-LAIR", completely swallowing the "H" and putting lot of emphasis on the last syllable. And the French have these delicious pieces of pastry called [Éclair] whose name you pronounce in the almost exact same way, save replacing the 't' with a 'c'. That's what I thought he said. Not for one second I was wondering whether that was kind of a weird first question - after all, I had one of these delicious fucker that very morning, so without skipping a beat I answered: "Mais oui, avec du chocolat" - why yes, especially with chocolate.
The reaction was not exactly what I expected, as I stared into an array of WTF-stricken faces, but I wasn't giving up so easily. After all, I thought, there was a decent chance that they would offer me an Éclair, so I tried to explain that I also like them with Vanilla, but that I prefer Chocolate Hitler over Vanilla Hitler. That's what they thought I said, my Host later told me.
If I would have just stopped there and changed the subject, I might have gone down in the Annals of that schoolyard as the most savage guy ever, but alas, I finally realized that there must have been some misunderstanding, so I tried to clear it up, completely embarrassing myself in the process. It didn't take long until the whole school knew me as "Hitler au chocolat", and that's what I ended up being called by everyone for those two weeks.
TL;DR: | German exchange student in France, got asked whether I like Hitler, understood Éclair (French pastry), answered "Yes very much, with chocolate", ended up being called Chocolate Hitler for two weeks by everyone at the school. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: [NON-ROMANTIC] I'm [16 F] and I'm trying to cut ties from my ex-friend [16 M] who randomly went crazy after a few months of friendship.
POST: I'll call the crazy one Josh and the victim Harold. Me, Josh, and Harold were all friends until suddenly Josh decided that he hated Harold. He blocked him his phone and he moved his seat away from him in science. He never told me why and I can assure you that Harold did nothing to provoke this.
His personality is... awful. He is an arrogant bigot. Not even sure how I became friends with a person like that in the first place. Anyway, he is still... "attached" to me sort of. I've been trying to ignore him at school and ignore his texts without seeming too obvious. He still texts me a lot I fear for his reaction if I was blunt with him because he's the kind who would bad-mouth me to his new friends and probably be rude IRL.
Reddit, how do I cut ties with a crazy person without making them pissed off?
TL;DR: | Friend Josh suddenly decided that he hated friend Harold. I want him to stop talking to me but I don't want him to be mad at me because I don't know what he'll do since he's kinda crazy. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I don't want to mess things up...
POST: I [20F] have been dating this guy [24m] for 10 months. He is the first guy I have ever been with and I love him. I have bad anxiety and sometimes it becomes a problem. I get it in my head that something is wrong, when everything is fine.
Well recently we have fallen into a rut. Our sex life isn't as powerful as it was, we are not as excited, blah blah blah. My anxiety heightens my negative feelings for our rut. It makes me over think it and make it a problem. I know that a relationship has ups and downs. I know that a relationship constantly changes. However, I REALLY need some insight. I need my anxiety to subside.
He knows about my anxiety and we have talked about this situation. However, this is my boyfriend's first relationship as well. He has little insight on the situation. We are not thinking about breaking up at all. My anxiety is just really hard to control... it really does make me go insane. I love him and I know our relationship is strong. I hate that he still has to deal with sad, anxiety me. I just need my anxiety to calm down.. is this normal Reddit???
Please give me advice to help relax me.. it really is torturous.
TL;DR: | I have bad anxiety. My boyfriend and I are stuck in a rut. It is driving my anxiety up the wall. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Someone stole my identity and used it to file, and cash, my tax refund. How can I get my revenge?
POST: Hey Reddit,
I just spent my whole day filing police reports, filling out forms, and calling credit companies. Needless to say, these things have gotten me nowhere. I called the IRS today to figure out why they would not accept my tax return and it turns out it had already been filed and cashed... by me. Apparently someone stole my name, birth date, social security number, the works, and substituted my address for their own (In order to get my hard earned refund). The IRS representative with whom I had spoken with said that she could not tell me the fake address he gave her because "she needed to protect the thief's identity". However, she did slip and accidentally told me the city where this turd lives. This city happens to be around an hour away from where I live.
So, Reddit, my question to you is: Is there any possible way I can take advantage of this system by using my name and the perp's address to find this man and exact my well-deserved revenge?
TL;DR: | Guy stole my tax refund by using my identity and his address. I want to find him by using my identity and the name of the city where he lives. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: What questions do YOU want to have asked on a state-wide poll? Now is your chance.
POST: I work at Suffolk University's [Political Research Center] ([pic- Hi Reddit!] and leading up to the election in November we'll be fielding a series of political surveys in states with races too close to call. We've got extra room on our surveys and thought Reddit might like to add some questions.
**Here's the deal:** Over the next few weeks we'll field surveys in PA, IL, OH, FL, CO, NV, CA, CT (and possibly WI) and have space for 2-3 more questions for each. ALL DATA we collect will be available to EVERYONE after each poll (with cross tabs it's typically 400+ pages).
**Note:** We are not in the business of ["push polling"] or driving a specific agenda. Rather, we're trying to discover what people actually think about the issues. We spend a lot of time designing our studies and work very hard to write good questions.
We're a small, scrappy office and this is our first try at something like this here at SUPRC. I'm really excited about opening this process up and I'll do my best to represent your questions and respond to your comments the best I can!
TL;DR: | – We're fielding a series of surveys in toss up states from now until the election. We have room for a few more questions on our surveys and thought Reddit might have some ideas. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [29M] and my best friend [29F]of 16 years and GF [25F] of 5 years. Not sure where to go from here.
POST: Not sure how to keep this one short but I'll try my best.
Basically, my GF and I have been together for 5 years. We met and it was great, moved in together, then we both stopped trying and it's been pretty average ever since. Deep down I know ive wanted to end this relationship for some time but made the crucial mistake of remembering the 'good days' etc. also she moved to my town from another city and knows very few people here.
Enter my best friend. I've had feelings for her for as long as I can remember but it was weirdly just this thing in the back of my mind. Like, I knew I liked her but at the same time didn't think it would ever work out because 1. Our friendship group would be effected and 2. I didn't think she would be interested in me.
It's important to note that I'm not looking for another girlfriend right now. I've been in 3 long term relationships since I was young, never had the time to be single and 'know myself' without another person on my mind. I also have plans to move overseas next year.
I saw my friend the other night and she has the same feelings for me. Completely. We both know it's not the right time but both said that we always thought one day we are meant to be together.
Now, this has put a lot of pressure on my current relationship. Like I said, I had been doubting this relationship for a while now and don't see a future in it. I also don't want to persue a new relationship right now (which we both agreed upon). I also don't want to hurt my current GF. She loves me and it would kill her. Also she has just applied for a new study program that effects her career. A career she is only really pursuing because she lives in my town.
I don't want to hurt her. But I'm lost and feeling anxious every day.
Can anyone shed some light on this situation? How do I fix things? Do I work on my current relationship?
TL;DR: | I am in love with my best friend, and over my current gf. But don't want a gf at the moment! |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me (23f) listening to my soon to be ex-fiancé (34m) cheating on me at a club.
POST: Been stuck in this abusive relationship for the past 3 years only forgiving him for the many sorrys he's said to me.
Some background: we don't live together but we live with our own parents ( him with his grandma and gramps and me with my mom and dad). We've been together for 3 years and set to marry in December.
Throughout our entire relationship we have had trust issues thus resulting in many breakups only getting back together. We even had a domestic violence case where it was the state against him. We reconciled and he came with me to court so that I can help to drop charges and stupidly I did.
Well, today he threw my phone in the car while on an outburst thinking that I was cheating on him only because my phone was on vibrate.
The impact of the phone cracked 2 big stars on the drivers side on the windshield of my car and he took off with it. I remained calm and drove straight home All while the girls (5yo and 8 months) were in the back seats and witnessed the whole thing.
I've been scared to leave because we have an 8 month old together and I keep thinking he'll change and also he has a good paying job. I work too but make half what he's making.
All I needed was to hear with my own ears ... And This does it. I call my phone and I'm listening to him talk up to a woman like nothing happened. I have no friends and I don't share much about my personal life with parents whom I live with along with daughters.
TL;DR: | Soon to be ex is cheating as I'm posting this. I'm done with this scrub, how do I proceed? |
SUBREDDIT: r/personalfinance
TITLE: Buying a new [Auto], giving current car to wife. Should I keep wife's old car?
POST: We are a single (stable) income family. Wife currently freelances but she is looking on-and-off for a 9-to-5. Both current cars are paid off. My wife's car is 9 years old, with about 140K miles on it. The KBB value for a trade-in on her car is not very high, less than $1000.
The reasons I don't want to part ways with the wife's car are two fold: One, I've dropped $2500 on repairs/maintenance in the last 2 years to keep it running. (costs of maintaining the car still cheaper than buying something new-used) It's very, very basic transportation that currently runs well, but I have a feeling that a massive repair could be looming, one that'll offset what (if any) it's worth.
Two, if my wife's job hunt puts her in a position for a 30+ mile commute, I'd rather her maximize the value out of her car before it finally gives up the ghost.
My insurance company has offered me a very fair deal to keep it garaged in the meanwhile.
My thought process was to keep the car for a year, paying minimum insurance on it and "out of the way" until my wife finds a job. If the job search doesn't pan out or she finds something that is under 30 miles, she would use my old car as her daily driver. I would then donate her old car to a local charity or vocational school.
TL;DR: | want to keep my wife's old, paid off car as an insurance policy if she gets a job with a long commute, and the cost of doing so would be less than a few hundred dollars a year. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [19 M] am in college and about to say goodbye to my girlfriend [19 F] for summer break. I'm ridiculously sad and having trouble coping
POST: Hey /r/relationships,
Throwaway here. So as the title states, my girlfriend and I are both freshmen in college and about to head home for summer break. We clicked almost instantly when we met at the beginning of the year and have been inseparable every since. We've been dating for a little over 6 months now and spend a sizable portion of every day together. However, it's now time for summer break, which means I won't see her for 3.5 months (unless I can scrape together money to visit her with my summer job), which I know I'm the grand scheme of things isn't super long but at my age it seems like it to me.
I'm pretty sensitive for a guy and love this girl more than anything and as a result am dying at the thought of saying goodbye. When saying goodbye for winter break (3 weeks) I teared up. When saying goodbye for spring break (1 week) I started crying and so did she. Now I have to say goodbye for a considerably longer period and don't know how to deal with myself. Literally the thought of saying goodbye brings me to tears and as soon as I calm myself down I end up looking at our shared photo album and then starting all over again. Additionally, whenever I get sad or anxious I tend to get a stomachache, which then puts me in both physical and emotional pain, literally (haha)
Basically, I'm just looking for some sort of advice on how to deal with the situation and say goodbye while also getting better control on my emotions for the next few days, because I know if I don't I'm going to stay in this cycle of crying. I know we can skype and text and whatnot, which I'm sure we'll do frequently - it's just the act of saying goodbye and learning to control my emotions regarding the situation that I would like advice on. Thanks Reddit
TL;DR: | Been dating a girl in college for a bit over 6 months and I am madly in love with her. Need help coping with saying goodbye for summer break |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: How do you know if you should leave?
POST: Hi Reddit,
I had to create a throwaway account, because too many of my friends are redditors and I was concerned they might see my account name.
I've been in a relationship for over 6 years; Basically since my girlfriend finished highschool and I finished university (there's a 4 year age gap). For many years I've been fairly happy and whilst we fight from time to time I've never really wanted out.
Sex slowed down after the first few years, which is fine and normal, and then got even less frequent once we moved in together. About a year ago it dried up almost entirely (basically once or twice a month - right around THAT time of the month) which really bothered me at first, but I got so used to her not being in the mood that I stopped asking or expecting it at all.
My girlfriend had to move out of state for work - it's only a temporary thing, she'll be moving back by the summer, and already has a few vacations planned to come back and see me. The problem is, I'm not sure that I want her to come back. I don't really miss her all that much.
I'm really confused about how I feel, I don't know if I want out of the relationship because I'm no longer in love with her, or because she's away and I'm getting distracted by all the pretty girls who are still around, or if the kinda apathy towards our relationship is normal after so long.
I have started to develop a little bit too much of a crush on one of the waitresses at the local bar, it'll never go anywhere, but I think that might have a lot to do with how I'm feeling as well.
The problem is, my girlfriend is a warm and loving person, and when I think about leaving her, I know it would crush her... and the thought of hurting her kills me!
Should I keep quiet and try to make things work long distance, work out how I feel when she moves back next summer, or is that just the coward talking, should I tell her everything I'm thinking?
TL;DR: | I'm in a very long-term relationship, noone has been unfaithful or done anything wrong, but I'm starting to have serious doubts, how do I know if it's time to end things? |
SUBREDDIT: r/dating_advice
TITLE: I have a date in 15 minutes and haven't been on a date for like 3 months, how do I act again? What do I talk about? Got any quick suggestions to freshen up my mind?
POST: Edit: le results are in
The results are in: I biked to her house in the freezing cold, she opened the door and got her coat. We walked for a bit next to a freezed up lake and talked, I had the feeling we clicked. I had to p much do all the touching as she was pretty kino-shy (is that even a word?). We saw a falling star when we were sitting beneath the lighthouse post and we were amazed by the beautiful moon that was just above the horizon, glowing with a bright orange light.
Afterwards we went back to her house and I asked if I could warm up my feet. I met her mom there, they were like two drops of water. My date made me some brazillian tea and gave me some 99% extra dark chocolate - holy crap that shit is weird, I am used to 90% chocolate. We talked some more and played some Mario Kart on the Wii (she beat me fair and squair!) and when I suggested I should go home ...
...she showed me the doorway and I stood outside, she was wrapped in a blanket. I'm a retard that I didn't respond quicker. This should've been *the* sign, but I was rather slow picking it up. She was shy all along so I wasn't really sure if I should go in for the kiss. We waited some more. I didn't find it awkward to be honest, but she might've did. I laughed some and smiled and she smiled back. Then I decided I'd just kiss her (shouldve went in earlier for the kiss). We kissed and then she stood on my toes and she hugged in a sense of "oh finally you kiss me why did you take so long". The kissing was fine but she didn't use her tongue, it was lots of lip work, that was a bit weird. But hey there are always second dates - right!
TL;DR: | Had a date, we strolled around a frozen lake, saw a falling star, saw a beautiful low orange yellow moon, went to her house, made out when I left. |