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SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [24m], girlfriend broke up out of the blue, relative passed only a week ago.
POST: Bit of background, been dating for well over a year now. She [21f] lives in the states, I in england, met at uni and fell in love. She's currently in the states whilst I'm in the UK for a bit. She was planning on coming to England to study and two weeks ago we were discussing visa requirements etc. (She'd planning to come to England to study for around 6 months now)
Out of the blue she broke up with me, with reasons that she had never even brushed before. Gone deadly cold despite only a week ago she wanted to come to England to support me through a family death.
Tried talking but she said she isn't going to change her mind or consider it and wants the respect of space.
She said she hasn't been herself since meeting me which I find strange as she met me the same time she met all of her English friends.
Not sure what to do, feel so empty from the death of my family member less than week ago and Im lost for words with this girl.
TL;DR: | Two weeks ago she's planning to come here. No arguments, indication or build up. Breaks up out of the blue and has gone cold. What do I do? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [21/F] am slowly getting annoyed with my sister [24/F] and her boyfriend [27/M] living with my family.
POST: Throwaway just in case~
My sister, Anna and her boyfriend Darren have been going out for approximately 8 months now. Everything was normal, until October when Darren started crashing our place. At first, my family didn't mind, as Darren's home life is pretty shitty, his mom is basically a Narcissist, hates his guts and won't acknowledge him.
...but the thing is, we basically thought it would be a temporary thing. Darren has been in my family's house everyday since October. I don't mind him, I genuinely like him as a person but it has caused a dynamic change in the family.
For example, I can't even talk or hangout to/with my own sister without him being there, he has to know what I'm going to say to my sister. Him living here, also has cost us a more expensive hydro and electricity bill, which he doesn't contribute at all (my family is not that well-off). Even with exclusive family events, he comes, despite my sister telling him not to.
My mother and I were also discussing how it's odd for the two of them to see each other everyday, (I have a BF too, who I see 3x a week), but to see someone everyday who I'm not related too is driving me a bit crazy and annoyed.
My parents have grown a bit weary of him too, though they still like him. They have talked to my sister and told her that isn't healthy to see each other everyday of their lives.
The only person who is happy about this arrangement is my sister (duh) because she gets to hangout and see him everyday.
While we don't mind Darren, my parents and I want our old dynamic back. We're still debating how to ask Darren to not come and sleepover everyday (LOL).
TL;DR: | Sister boyfriend lives with our family, has caused some shift, how do my family gently tell him to not come and sleepover everday? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: I (20/m) met a girl (18/f) on a dating site, we chat for a few days, then she deletes her profile, so I look her up on Facebook and she has a boyfriend.
POST: So a few weeks ago, a girl messaged me on a dating site. She's going into her Freshman year at the same university that I go to, and we have the same major. So we start talking. She seems a bit reserved but eager; we share a lot of interests, we seem to be connecting, things (I thought) were going great. We talk about meeting up once she gets settled in at school (importantly, she asks to meet up, not me), and I'm feeling pretty good about things. Then, she goes radio silent. I give her a few days, because I figure she has other things going on, but just today, I check again and she's deleted her profile. When I talked to her, she seemed a bit down; she mentioned a few times how bored and lonely she is, so I thought maybe she's shy and got cold feet about dating.
Anyway, I really like her, so I looked her up on Facebook. In a relationship. And she posted a picture of her and the guy 3 days ago. Yikes. But at the same time, he's not going to our university, so I don't know if they're planning on breaking up once she leaves or what. But that still doesn't explain her deleting her dating profile.
So now I don't really know what to do. I figure messaging her on Facebook is the probably the worst thing I could do. She never gave me her last name, but her first name is uncommon enough that finding her on Facebook was pretty easy. Still, given how abruptly she deleted her profile, I'm guessing she doesn't want to talk to me anymore. I'm starting to think maybe she's just a lonely person who wanted someone to talk to, and figured guys on dating sites would give her some attention.
I know "just forget her and move on" is probably going to be the obvious piece of advice, but I really liked her, and I thought she liked me too. Is the situation salvageable, or should I just cut my losses?
TL;DR: | Girl messages me on dating site, we hit it off and talk for a few weeks, then she randomly deletes her profile |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My (25F) boyfriend (26M) is a terrible kisser.
POST: Hi, relationships.
My boyfriend and I have been together for about a year and we have a great relationship and an a amazing sex life. I have no complaints whatsoever except for one thing. He is the worst kisser ever.
It didn't bother me at first but recently it has been getting under my skin a little bit and so I thought I would post here to get some fresh perspectives on it.
He is fine when it comes to quick pecks hello/goodbye, or random little kisses throughout the day but when it comes to kissing during sex it's awful. He goes way too fast and shoves his whole tongue in my mouth, and because he's going at warp speed we end up out of sync and with slobbery faces, so we don't end up making out for long. The problem is, I love kissing him! Especially during foreplay, making out is a huge turn on for me. I just wish he would go slower and not give me a dental exam with his tongue.
I have tried to tell him this a couple of times and for the first few minutes of making out he will go slower and gentler, and then it starts to go downhill again. How can I approach this subject with him without hurting his feelings? Help!
TL;DR: | Boyfriend is a lousy kisser. How can I tell him/help him to get better without being too mean? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My girlfriend's friend wants to get drunk with her after prom. I am uncomfortable with this, how do I get over it?
POST: Sorry for the lack of coherence in advance.
I'm 16, my girlfriend is 17, and we've been dating for three months.
My girlfriend made a passing remark that her crazy friend wants her to get drunk off her ass after prom, and she's okay with it and will probably do it. I told her "I'm fine with it as long as you don't get arrested," but I am very uncomfortable with this idea.
She's a good girl, straight A's and incredibly kind, but she hangs out occasionally with some of the people that are known to cause drama. I thought I wasn't opposed to drugs and alcohol until she told me this, and I think I'm overreacting. I think I'm opposed to the idea because I feel she's going to get into some kind of trouble when she's with her friends, and because I don't want her to start a spiral into alcoholism.
I'm still deciding if I should get over it or convince her not to. I can invite her to my friend's afterparty (where there will be no abuse of controlled substances) or go to her friend's afterparty (LOL OMGZZZ SOO DRUNK GUYZE). She told me that she won't do it if I don't want her to, but I'm a firm believer in "live and let live."
Help me make up my mind? Sorry for the jumbled thoughts.
TL;DR: | My girlfriend's friend wants her to get drunk after prom together, I'm not comfortable with this. Can't decide whether to convince her to not do it or to just let her have fun, help? |
SUBREDDIT: r/offmychest
TITLE: I'm jealous of your stupid perfect little family...
POST: I've been dating this guy for 5 months now and I really like him. I'm not going to say we're soulmates or what have you but he makes me happier than I've been for a long time. I knew when we got into our relationship that he had two kids, 3 & 4. They aren't his biologically but he dated their mother for most of their life and basically adopted them. (The biological father is a piece of trash who raped BabyMama a few times and might still be in jail for other things) For reasons I'm not 100% sure of, she left him and shattered his world. He's told me that part of him still loves her and I understand and I don't blame him for it. I've met her and I trust that he won't do anything and that she doesn't want him back. Thing is they only come over once a month or so and when they spend the night BabyMama has to spend the night too because my bf isn't the best with kids. He always makes sure I'm there that night and we sleep in a different room but it eats at me. Even with out any love between them two you can tell they have been close. It's like Mommy & Daddy and babies and I feel like a fifth wheel. They always know exactly what each other are thinking. The kids like me it just kills me that he has this perfect little family with her and I don't. I guess I'm just jealous of the love he has for those kids and not for one that would be ours. I don't want a baby now (I'm 19, he's 24) but in like 5 years I'll start to consider having one. I just don't want to be the bitch gf who doesn't let him see his kids.
TL;DR: | My bf has kids with another woman and I'm jealous of that relationship. Also I rant in an unorganized fashion. |
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU by embellishing a story
POST: I work in a real estate office and incase you don't know this all realtors seem to know each other. I received a phone call today from an agent that works from another office who called to inform one of our agents that a property they have listed had some mail on the porch and a blue bin full of stuff that had flipped over. Well our agent was right beside me so I asked the person on the phone if they would like to speak with her and he said no but was very rude and curt and asked if passing on a msg was too hard. I was upset by this and said "I'll pass this on" and hung up on the guy. Well our agent looked at me funny and asked what that was about and I embellished the story a bit ... ok a lot ... and said that the person had said "just F**ing pass it on, is that so F**ing hard?!" To which our agent asked who it was and called the home owner to tell her and now they keep pestering me for the name of the person that called. I let slip the name and our agent was surprised and said that wasn't like him to swear. I told her I had made a mistake and that I had seen his number because he had called earlier but this caller had come up private name. I tried to tell her that I exaggerated but others were around and I didn't want to look foolish - even though I clearly am. She will more than likely speak to him about it and he will more than likely tell her how the convo actually went and I'll be busted.
TL;DR: | embellished a story to a real estate agent, she happened to know the caller and will more than likely speak to him about it. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: [20M] Booked 6 weeks backpacking in Asia with GF [20F], getting increasingly worried that she regrets it but won't admit it, am I just being paranoid?
POST: We've been together nearly 2 years and it's been going amazingly, we live together in a house with 4 other students and booked a backpacking trip back in December for this August/Sept.
Ever since we've booked flights she hasn't really talked about the trip, whilst I've been doing occasional research which rarely gets met with much enthusiasm - I wasn't too bothered until recently when she's been increasingly talking about how short on money she is.
I should add that we tried to book this a whole year ago (for summer 2012) but she pulled out ON THE DAY we were going to book flights because she freaked out about money.
I think money's a stressful subject for her whilst i've always been pretty relaxed, i'm not well off, but if I want to do something i'll just get any job and work until the money's there. She's much more cautious and gets really defensive if i try and talk about it.
I've tried discussing the trip tonight and it just led to an argument with her getting super defensive, and insisting that this was 'what she wanted' when I asked if she really wanted to go. Despite this, she's offered no interest in the trip, never said anything about being excited, I know its still a while off but still...
I'm just worried that i've got her into something she now regrets but won't admit because of how gutted I was last time she cancelled. How should I go about finding out her true feelings on it? Cause it definitely feels like she's holding something back.
TL;DR: | Booked a backpacking holiday with my GF which I suspect she now regrets due to her showing no interest/excitement and her being extremely money-conscious, how do I proceed |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: I (22F) Think I might be the problem ? (23m)
POST: We have been in a relationship for about 2yrs now. I wanted to explain the whole story, but the more I think about it the more variables there are and it just gets more and more complicated. So forget that- I'll keep this as brief as I can- I think I am the problem. I think I am (unintentionally) very controlling and I feel like I have SERIOUS trust issues, I've been cheated on by almost every person I've dated in my life. My SO now is one in a few that has not, yet I still have a hard time trusting him. I am the most serious and longest relationship he has been in, so he does not understand what I have been through.
I really love him, he loves me, He'd do anything for me. We recently sat down and had a deep talk about what we want to do and where we want to go in life. We are on the same page for just about everything except 1 thing: He wants to work out of town, 2-3 provinces away. He says it will only be for a yr or 2 just so he can get enough money for a house and other necessities and when he is done he wants to come back in the City and live with me.
I understand this and I support it, I truly do. But then that little "red flag" goes up in my head and it seems as though I just genuinenly cannot be okay with it. I think it might be due to my trust issues but I'm unsure, maybe it's my selfishness? I am looking for any tips on how I can overcome my insecurities and prepare myself for what is going to happen (Him working out of town) Thanks again..
TL;DR: | my SO wants to work out of town but my insecurities won't let me be okay with it... Help? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [18M] with my SO(sorta) [16F] have a problem with her father..
POST: Well I'm going to try and make this as short as possible. We're both currently in high school, we've been talking for a little while now and I decided I'd make an impulsive decision: I asked her to my senior prom.
Now everything between us is fine and all, that's not a problem. The problem would be her father. Her father doesn't approve of her going to prom with me because I am 18. I told her i'd want to meet her father and get him to know me before he makes his final choice, so he at least knows who his daughter is affiliating herself with. This didn't work out as planned because of two reasons: 1) He doesn't want to meet with me . 2) He said it's too late for first impressions (solely because I asked her to prom).
So my question to you /r/relationships is what can I do to convince him/her to let me meet him and to give me a chance?
TL;DR: | Girl's father doesn't approve of me taking her to prom and is refusing to meet me first so I can introduce myself |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My [21 M] , Gf [20 F] 2 months will completely ignore me when shes with her Best Friend.
POST: I've been dating this girl i'll call her Caitlyn for a little bit. Her and I get along great. We really connect when we are together and can talk for hours on end. The problem comes when her "best" friend, who i'll call Sam, comes into the picture.
The issue is that when my gf and sam get together you wouldn't even think I had a girlfriend. If we are out on a date and sam is in the area I suddenly become a third wheel and not for lack of trying to connect. I could try to start a conversation but it falls on deaf ears. Other times i could text caitlyn in the morning and not hear back until midnight which is weird because we usually at least check up on each other. This could happen even if we are having a conversation. No warning just cold shoulder ignoring until sam goes home. We could even have plans to do something together alone a week in advance and sam has an "emergency", which weirdly can't be discussed anywhere except in person and ends up just being guy problems she is having, and our plans are canceled.
The red flag for me is that when sam isn't around none of this is an issue. Everything works great.
Now I understand people need time to themselves and i don't care about them doing their own thing. I just feel like it is rude to completely ignore someone like that. A little warning would be nice as well. I feel like i need an outside opinion on the situation. Maybe i'm reading into the situation too much. I've discussed this with caitlyn once and she says she will try to communicate better but no luck yet. This only started to happen about 2 weeks ago.
TL;DR: | Gf and I are like a fine tuned engine. Best friend is like sand and the engine stalls until best friend is gone. Advice on friends that negatively impact relationships? |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Why does my ex still want to be friends over Facebook?
POST: After she dumped me over Facebook chat a year ago with little to no remorse, I ended all contact with her. Deleted her from my Facebook account for my own sanity, and didn't try to communicate with her unless she wanted to... And she did. She would send me texts saying "you're being real immature I hope you grow up" and other spiteful texts like that, and after I didn't respond to those for a week or two she got all sad and started saying how "she still loved me and wanted to make things right". So I said okay, if you want to talk about things, send me a text on saturday and we can go somewhere and talk about whatever. So Saturday comes and she cancels our plans with some BS excuse about schoolwork. After that we didn't speak for months till she texts me on my birthday saying "happy birthday maybe you'll grow up". I'm still dumbfounded as to how she could even say that. The irony was overwhelming.
So a couple months more pass and I get a text saying "WHY WON'T YOU ACCEPT MY FRIEND REQUEST DAMMIT" I dont respond to it. I see her mom in the store a couple months ago an she says Abby (we'll call her) has had nothing but good things to say about me whenver they bring my name up. I don't get it.
So today I get a message on Facebook from her, again, asking why I won't accept her request. What do I do in this situation? I really don't have any feelings for her one way or the other at all, but I feel like accepting her request would be letting her "win" in a way, you know?
It's especially confusing when reading some of the shit she's said to me. She literally hasn't said a nice word to me since we broke up, an now she's desperate to be friends in Facebook? I don't get it.
BTW I'm 19.
Before anybody asks, I ultimately believe she broke up with me because she was nervous about committing to a long term relationship in college ( she was going to be about 2 hours away and I was staying home).
HALP reddit.
TL;DR: | ex dumps me, is incredibly spiteful to me, and doesn't understand why I won't accept her friend request. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: [25F] dating [24M] Is he slow fading on me?
POST: Been dating a guy for about a few months (4-5 I would say). Three days ago he stops initiating texts but still answers, sometimes he doesnt but it clearly shows that he has read them.
I confronted him yesterday morning if everything is okay and he says 'yea' and I mentioned that he hasn't texted me in a while so I thought something was up to which he replies 'No. Just tired.' I respond at the end of the day asking him what he has been up to thats got him so beat but he read that and hasn't replied. I'm worried because he usually texts me at night, just a simple 'how was your day?' And that has just stopped.
Honestly don't want to pry but also don't understand what is the matter.
TL;DR: | Guy I am dating has not been initiating texts but answering some. Total change in behavior and I am wondering if he is slow fading on me and how to deal with it. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me[25/F] with my friend [30/F] and my really good friend (and our boss at two different businesses) [35/M]
POST: So my work is basically (to keep it vague) a loose community of people, many all friends, not any one company, but with many individual businesses. One night a friend/colleague (someone I look up to) unloaded on me, talking shit about my good friend/boss (also her friend/boss but at a different business) and his business practices, with a couple personal insults thrown in. Nothing illegal or unethical, just differing views and ideologies. "Boss" for the most part knows her views already but she was very harsh and in depth and frankly kinda bitter about how he does things. It was a good conversation and worth having, I respectfully disagreed with her for the most part but listened to her unloading. It was obviously a lot of things she had been thinking for a while and taking very personally, to a degree "boss" very probably isn't aware.
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My problem: at the end of the tirade she kinda realized what she was saying, especially since "boss" and I are very close, closer than either of us are with her. She asked me not to say anything to boss. I said I wouldn't.
So far I haven't said anything but the longer it goes the more it bothers me. I want to talk to boss about it because she had legitimately interesting points, even if I nor boss agree with them, but also there was such a level of vitriol there that I'm now uncomfortable being around both them knowing it. And now I'm know she's worried that I have told him, because she knows how close we are, and its just a little weird.
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I don't know if I should be loyal to my close friend (boss) or if its more important to keep my word. So far I've chosen my word over loyalty to boss, it's just eating at me.
TL;DR: | should I be honest with one of my best friends about how another friend feels about him or maintain my word that I wouldn't repeat her tirade? (Sorry for formatting, phone.) |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: 21F How should you deal with unsupportive friends?
POST: Up until last year, I had a very close group of friends, but they've shut me out. I struggled with some difficult things this past year, and instead of showing me any support or understanding (like I'd always done for them), I was pretty much ostracized.
It was really difficult to deal with that on top of everything else I was going through. Recently, things have started to get better for me. Ever since I met these friends in college, I've been talking about my dream grad school program. I applied, got in, and am very excited to start classes next week.
But when I told them about this, that something really great was finally happening with me after all the rough stuff from before, no one cared. No congratulations, no acknowledgment, nothing.
I know I shouldn't care about this based on how they've treated me and that I should go find some new friends, but I haven't been able to shake how upset and hurt I am by this. It's hard to focus on improving when the people who are supposed to care about you almost seem like they're rooting against you. It's really messed with my sense of self-worth.
How do you deal with a situation like this? I think I should look into making some different friends, but how do I handle the sadness from them not caring? I appreciate any advice or shared experiences!!
TL;DR: | Friends have been unsupportive to me through both the bad times and more recently, the good times. How can I stop focusing on the ways they've made me feel worthless? |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Help reddit! I took such a wide shit I damaged my anal sphincter and I have shit again but it is too painful.
POST: I was constipated for 2 days and it just came out this morning. I felt the pressure building and thought nothing was unusual. When I went to the washroom I knew it was going to be wide - and dry as well. I worked with it for ten minutes, I pulled my hair and clenched. It hurt, but it finally passed. I knew the truth though, it had broken off a bigger piece. I was not worried as the pressure to shit was gone.
30min later the pressure came back. I thought it would be a struggle, but it is far worse than I imagined. As I as preparing for the evacuation I noticed there was more pain than usual. I'm not sure on the details, but I believe **my first shit was so wide that it either bruised the sphincter or tore it**. I'm more inclined to believe that it is bruised. This wouldn't be an issue but I have a backlog of shit that needs to pass. I couldn't pass the second load as the pain was excruciating. When i tried I felt the feces moving down my colon and there was pain. I knew I had to abort as my body could not handle what was to come. Now I have a huge urge to shit but cannot because the pain is too unbearable. What do I do reddit? I want to shit, but I can't! I don't think constipation medicine will work when the shit is this close to evacuation.Any suggestions?
TL;DR: | Constipated; Wide shit damage anal sphincter; Need to shit again but too painful; urge to shit is rising! |
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU by short-circuiting my Motherboard
POST: Happened 45 mins ago.
So I was trying to add a storage device between my computer which in turn fucked up my other storage device. I managed to eventually get on my computer and as it was loading I thoght like the idiot I am, "lol the fans on top spins fast what happens if I put something on it" (the top of the case is easily detachable) so I placed a screw on it and it flew off and hit me in the chest. I thought this was fucking hilarious so I placed a medal I won earlier this year (Discus :D) on it. The medal flew off alright, into the computer itself and smacked my motherboard. Keep in mind my computer was on the whole time, so my computer went dead. I thought my computer was gone. To add salt to the wound it was my first computer build I did 2 days ago. I went into panic mode and started digging around the inside of my computer, smacking my hand off a spinning fan. That fucking hurt. I dug the medal out and turned my computer back on, only to be greeted with a black screen. Reboot. Black screen. Plug off. Reboot. I was able to launch the computer but it went to a black screen. Reboot. It took 10 mins but the computer got loaded and it is now ok. It is a bit slow but at least it works. During this time I was having a mild panic attack so things weren't exactly smooth, but hey, at least it's all good now. The fuck-up has been counter-fucked-up? Meh, idc I blame myself for almost breaking my computer.
TL;DR: | I short-circuited my motherboard in an idiotic fashion causing me to hurt my hand and have a mild panic attack. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Confused and Worried
POST: So me and this guy. He is 28 and I'm 20. We went from being friends with benefits to gf and bf for a week. Then we went to being friends with benefits. The thing is we never had "proper" sex with each other. On Sunday he tells me he needs space, and a break from each other and I will give it to him. Do you think him not being able to enter and pleasure me hit his ego? He did pleasure me with making out. I feel like he thinks there was no emotion from me since, my body did not react to the way we wanted. He had been very patient with me, and said we would work around this. Also do you think he will come around and talk to me again?
TL;DR: | basically my guy friend wants space and a break from us. I think it's because he thinks he couldn't pleasure me. Do you think he will come around and talk to me again? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Men: Why would you hold on to someone like this but act so standoffish?
POST: OK, so I [F24] have been seeing this guy [M25] for about 8 months now. Things were going great, we connected really well and the sex was amazing. We never actually put a label on the relationship or discussed where it was going, but we were having fun and were content with eachother.
About 4 months ago he broke things off saying he didn't feel the same way and he found me less attractive. He was worried I was taking the relationship more seriously than him (I wasn't). He hurt me greatly, he left me then decided he wanted me back then left me again. He said some pretty terrible things to try and push me away and make me hate him then he took it all back. I'm terribly confused about what it is that he's holding on to. I'm confused about whether or not he even cares about me if he's doing all of this stuff. He told me that I'm the perfect girl... on paper. That I'm the sweetest, most loving, most amazing girl he's ever known. But he doesn't have the time for a relationship right now and he's really uncertain about what he wants.
THAT is something I can grasp, he really doesn't have any time because of his two jobs. That is something I can work around. I can get the uncertainty too, nobody in their 20's knows what they want all the time. I'm still dating other people and enjoying my life, but he is my closest friend and I love him.
So why would he put me through all of this and ask that I still stick around? I mean, what is it that he's holding on to? I get that he's confused and doesn't have a lot of time for a relationship. But seriously, what is the deal with this guy and not just cutting me loose?
I'm sorry if this was all over the place, I think I may be a bit confused too. I asked for some space and he's been giving that to me. I'm aware you're all going to tell me to just run for the hills, but thats a challenge for me and I guess I just want to understand what it is that I've gotten myself into?
TL;DR: | Guy meets girl, guy likes girl. Guy breaks things off, then pulls her back in, then pushes her away, then pulls her back in. Girl doesnt know what the fuck this guy is thinking. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Why do I have to make most of the decisions?
POST: I've been with my boyfriend for more than a year. We live together. I'm unemployed so he supports us. To balance the responsibility, I do all the cooking and cleaning and make our house a home. When we go out, I'm forced to make all decisions on where we go and what we do. Even on date night when he's supposed to plan. If I want us to go see a movie, I have to choose it and he won't give me his opinion. If we go out to dinner I have to choose where, but he won't tell me what he's hungry for, so I'll end up naming a million places. I know this sounds trivial, but after doing this over and over again it gets annoying. What happened to making decisions together? Does anyone else have this problem? I've tried talking to him about it, but for some reason it starts arguments. How do you deal with it?
TL;DR: | My boyfriend refuses to help make decisions (even if its only trivial things) and gets argumentative. How do I approach that without causing more problems? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My [22m] guy friend has a crush on me [22f] we hang out alot and I have told him I do not like him in that way but he wont let it go.
POST: I just came out of a serious relationship a few months back and have been hanging out with my guy friend alot. I really enjoy hanging out with him as a friend and do not have other feelings for him. He has approached the subject of dating a few times and I have told him many times that i do not feel that way towards him and even just trying it out would be a bad idea. Well he wont drop it and said he never will. Should I be concerned? Cause I am trying to move on and meet someone new and I feel like he might be getting in the way cause he flocks around me.
TL;DR: | guy friend will not drop the fact that he wants to date me and I feel like it is impacting myself meeting someone new. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My gf [24f] video chatting with her old crush?
POST: Hello. I [28m] just found out that recently, my gf [24f] of one year has been video chatting with her old crush. From what I gather, they were good friends, they had a crush on each other, and she hooked up with someone else, and they had a falling out and haven't spoken to each other until recently.
I walked in on her chatting with the guy, I waited until they were done, and I asked what was going on, she said they were catching up. I asked if I could see the chat, and it consisted of her saying:
Her: Hey, you were in my dream last night. How have you been?
Him: Hey, I've been great. I hope you are as well.
Her: [link to old picture of the two of them] I just saw this and smiled.
Him: I had a dream about you last night.
Her: What was the dream about?
Him: We were videochatting.
Her: I can make that dream come true.
Him: That sounds great!
Then the video chat.
Now, overall, I trust my girlfriend. I know she wouldn't do anything blatantly, but this seems...a bit over the edge. I told her I needed a little bit of time to clear things up, because I'm not quite sure how I feel about it.
Now, I don't video chat, but she uses it regularly with her friends...I'm wondering...is this...normal? Why do I feel so weird about it?
TL;DR: | gf [24f] of one year videochatting with her old crush. Read msgs that seemed rather...not sure how to put it, just overall made me feel a little uneasy. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [25f] need help learning to trust my bf [27m] of 1.5 years after he has lied several times
POST: It started out with little lies about nothing really. For example, he would lie about wanting to get off the phone because he was going to bed when he was really going to the bar with his friend. Then the lies started getting slightly bigger, like lying about having the day off from work because he wanted a guys day with his friend. Then fast forward to now, when he has promised me that he would stop watching porn (because I feel that he cannot maintain an erection with me) and I have now confronted him 6 different times and every time, he will first deny it, then get pissed off at me for confronting him, calms down and will admit after I press the issue and then he renews his promise to abstain.
I don't like to think I am being unreasonable but I can admit that its a bit unrealistic to ask him to completely abstain. I want our sex life to be as important to him as it is to me, and I feel like he doesn't think losing an erection is a problem. Another thing is frequency, I'd like to have sex a few times a week, and I would like to not be the only party initiating. He is okay with having sex once a week (probably because of his porn habit) and he claims that he initiates all the time.
I don't know what to do. With him breaking the same promise over and over again I have a really hard time believing it wont happen again. I've asked him why he feels like he needs to lie to me and he has always maintained that he doesn't want to disappoint me or make me sad, when really most of the time I don't care if he wants a guys night or if he wants to do just about anything. The porn thing is really the only thing I have put my foot down on. This last confrontation he has declared that this time will be different, that he wants this relationship to work and that is why he won't watch porn anymore.
How do I trust him again and move forward?
TL;DR: | BF promises over and over to not watch porn due to semi ED issues but breaks promise every time and I still want to trust him but don't know how. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [23M] went on my first date with my crush [25F]. Everything is going well, but I'm not sure if she wants to take it slow or not.
POST: I was excited and terrified because I haven't been on a date in 5 years. I wasn't sure I i should ask her at first because we had met in one of our grad classes, and last week was the final week. We really connected from through working on a group project in the class.
The first date with, lets call her Chelsea, was amazing. We really hit it off I felt. We were flirting back and forth. Chelsea also expressed that she was glad that I had asked her out, but she also expressed that she had had bad luck when it came to dating in the in the past. She's really looking forward to our next date and so am I, but I'm not sure if she has ever had a boyfriend or been in a relationship. I don't want to ruin it by moving too fast, but I also don't want her to think that I'm not really interested in starting something with her.
TL;DR: | Went on a first date with my crush, but not sure how to go about it. Don't want to move too fast, but I also don't want her to think I'm not interested. |
SUBREDDIT: r/jobs
TITLE: Obtaining a Secret clearance or eligible to obtain secret clearance with criminal charges?
POST: I think this might be the right place to ask this question. I had a phone interview yesterday with a few preliminary questions with a government contractor (weaknesses/strengths, blah, blah, where do you see yourself in 5 years) and that kind of took me by surprise considering a phone interview I had in the past with a contractor was more like a "vocal" background check?
Anyways, they have invited me in for an in-person interview. I have a Misdemeanor of Assault and Battery charge dating back to 2011. With the phone interview I had in the past, they stopped the conversation when I answered truthfully to the question of having a criminal background.
I'm kind of expecting the worse for this interview because the position stated "Secret clearance or eligible to obtain secret clearance". *Why did I apply to begin with?* It's been 5-6 years since this charge (have not had any charges since besides 1 speeding ticket in 2013, which I paid) and I am working on getting it expunged...So I figure, why not *try* since (from what I've read) the background check goes back 7-10 years...and its almost been 7...lol.
TL;DR: | how likely am I to obtain a Secret Clearance with a Misdemeanor charge of Assault and Battery from 5 years ago? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: Question. Bf's views seem so unreal i want to know if i am in the wrong for thinking differently.
POST: I'm F[24] he is M[30]. So I start school today. and my bf who has bad history and is insecure is worried about me meeting guys. why because 4 years ago, when we were friends one male classmate who i had exchanged #s with as part of the class instructions once texted me wanting to go out and i simply ignored it. one week later he walked me to my now current boyfriends car.
Two semesters ago i had a group project with two girls one guy[gay guy def not on his radar] no texts were out of line. not all regarded to class nor ever personal.
seriously this is all he has to on me with school and guys. i don't really make friends in my classes. not the most sociable person. he doesn't trust me and thinks this mentality of mine that thinking nothing is wrong with what i did 4 years ago is cheap and dumb. because i did not immediately correct the guy for sending those text. for letting him walk me to my car. keep in mind. campus night classes, and my thought is he walks me to a guys car he will see i am not available. and well he didn't contact me after that and that worked. and my bf now says that was dumb for me to think, that i should of said no when asked to be walked, i was single then, uninterested, didn't wanna be rude. didn't think it was so out of line. BF says otherwise and that I'm part of the problem when i didn't reject right away. does anyone think that? or do people act like me and just don't respond to advance but don't immediately shut down. if anyone gets excessive I'd say that's necessary. now bf is being distant when nothing has even been done. so confused and frustrated.
TL;DR: | BF says i'm cheap because i didn't shut down the advance of a class mate 4 years ago. i just ignored it. i don't see any wrong in my actions. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Girlfriend of 2 years [25F] says she loves me [25M] as a companion but not in love with me. Is this done or anyone have experience saving this?
POST: I have already done search on past posts but most of them are from shorter relationships/younger people and not very similar to my situation.
So we've been together for 2 years, living together for last one. We moved pretty quick initially with her moving cities and spending almost every night together. In the past two months we've both expressed that we are more distant and haven't been giving the relationship the effort it needs and treating it more as a constant in our busy lives.
Last week she initially told me this not being in love with me thing and we ended up having a good conversation. I understood that it happens in relationships, eb and flow and whatnot. We also agreed to work on it, knowing it's gonna take work and time but still hopeful. She said she still want us and wanted it back. Flash forward thru an awesome weekend with friends and vday, everything seems to be going swimmingly. Then I notice she's feeling distant again and we talk again. This time she's not sure and just confused. She says she doesn't know who she is as a single person anymore (to which I agree that's scary and if you can be an individual in a relationship then you shouldn't be in one. At the same time there comes a point where you don't know the single person you would be. Semantics between individual and single). So she needs some space to "grow" and figure some things out. Hard to do when you live together but moving out feels more and more likes bullet to the head for the relationship.
Anyone ever have this and manage to come back from the brink or is it time to move on?
TL;DR: | girlfriend of two years blindsided me with needing space and not being in love anymore. Still loves me and not sure if she wants to give up on the relationship or not. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: (32/m) My wife (24/f) left me three weeks ago and is serious about a divorce. I really don't want to lose her.
POST: My wife and I have been married for almost four years now. This is the third time she has left me since February.
Her and I have always had a hard time financially. We both have made some bad decisions regarding jobs (quitting them before starting a new one, getting fired and etc) We got evicted last October from our home and was luckily able to find a new home to move into. She got fired from her job in February and I haven't been working due to health issues.
The first time she left she wasn't gone but a day and this was before telling me we needed space. The second time, telling me again that we need space, she came back after only a week. Now she is telling me there is absolutely zero chance of us working it out.
I have severe depression and probably PTSD. I will be the first one to admit that I haven't always made the best choices during our marriage and not been the best husband. I feel like this is entirely my fault. I want to mend things especially since we haven't even tried marriage counselling. We both haven't giving it a fair shot in my opinion and I really do want to try.
I am going to therapy soon for myself and would like to go to marriage counselling. I just need advice to see if our marriage can be fixed or just some advice in general. I no longer have a car, I am working but cannot afford rent on my own and her and I both have terrible credit.
Is there anyway I can fix this marriage or any advice at all?
TL;DR: | After four years of marriage my wife has left me and says there is zero chance of us getting back together and we haven't tried any counselling or anything to fix things so I need advice! |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Reddit I believe I'm being discriminated for my illness and need some advice/help
POST: This is my first post, so it's difficult to put this into the correct words so everyone will understand what the hell I'm saying.
I'm working as a sale associate for a multi-million dollar corporation. Sale associate means the dude who is sometimes a cashier but helps stock and does tasks. Since this is my first job I usually work pretty well, I never complain or whine or say I'm tired unlike certain employees. My 2nd boss however has been gossiping with co-workers and complaining that I haven't shown up for a day in the past two weeks. This is due to an allergy infection in my esophagus causing me to vomit anything I eat. I also have Crohn's disease, which is an inflammatory bowel disease and it's a huge bitch to deal with let's just say that. I feel like I'll eventually be fired because of me missing more days since my health is dramatically decreasing (so far I've lost 20lbs since I last weighed myself due to the vomiting) apparently I shouldn't talk to my district or regional manager about this since they themselves won't hear of it and punish me for complaining or even the Human Relations department of the company. The happy part about this is that my 2nd boss is known for doing absolutely nothing, this past Saturday I restocked 4 shelves did a clipboard list of stuff to do from the 2nd boss and also was a cashier while this man sat in the back for the majority of the day. Reddit, I've lurked and seen you guys give knowledgeable answers to terrible situations so I'm hoping you guys could help me out on this one.
TL;DR: | I may get fired for being a sick worker that works by a man who is healthy and well who does not work. |
SUBREDDIT: r/dating_advice
TITLE: The girl I like just kissed me
POST: I wanted to start with saying that I am high and felt like sharing.
I never thought something like this would happen to me and now it has. All of you out there on reddit, you will find someone.
Started out on a school trip, I(16m) met her(17f) and we talked for a bit. After the trip I invited her to come over and smoke weed. She did and it was fun. Later during the week I ask her if she wanted hang out again. She come over, we smoke and enjoy ourselves. She looks to me and asks "why are you so quiet?" I lean in to kiss her and she moves into a hug. She tells me that she has a lot of stuff going on in her life. She stays for about an hour and a half while we watched tv. During this period she moved closer and closer to me until she was leaning against me slightly. I walk her to the subway and she wanted to finish her cigarette so we sat on a park bench and talked. She moved closer to me and asked me if I was scared of her with a smile on her face. She asks me if she can ask me something and she makes that face, you know the one when someone is scared to say something? She asks me why I tried to kiss her and I told her that I found her interesting and I liked hanging out with her. She said "fuck it" and grabbed me and kissed me. We got of the bench and hugged and kissed. We went to the train and we let one pass so we could talk more. I cant wait to see her in school tomorrow.
Thanks to all for reading!
TL;DR: | Hanging out with a girl for the second time, weed. I try to kiss her and she hugs me instead. Starts sending me signals throughout the rest of the night and during my walk with her to the train she kissed me. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: I'm (20/M) not sure if this is what it's supposed to feel like with her (F/20)
POST: No relationship, just a girl that I am friends with/ have known for a while. I kinda just got out of a relationship (~1.5 years). I don't want this girl to be a rebound, so I'm taking things with the opposite gender cautiously. Back to this person though, the more I hang out with this girl, the more I realize that she and I are very "compatible." We near match intellectually, ideologically, as well as various interests (sports/cooking/activities). After she learned that I broke up with my girlfriend, she told me that she'd be potentially interested in me, which is why I have kinda been thinking along these lines.
The issue is that while she's attractive, kind-hearted, and (at least externally) a good match for me in considerations for a long-term relationship, I have no deep "desire" for her, like I did for other crushes/SOs/friends in the past. She's really kind of average, but perhaps it's because I haven't gotten to know her super well.
Is this a problem? I fear that this might turn into an issue of boredom with the relationship in the future. What if I decide to date her, it turns long-term, and I become interested in someone else. Obviously, I'm thinking wayyy ahead and taking things too seriously. Either way, is this kind of thing an issue in terms of relationships in general? maybe I'm just jumping the gun too soon after a break-up. It's only been like 2 months.
TL;DR: | friends with a compatible girl that's interested in me, but I don't "desire" her. Is that a problem for a potential future relationship? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [33/M] accidentally fell in love with my wife [26/F]
POST: The title must seem confusing, but bear with me.
I've know my wife for 3 years; we were friends prior to getting married.
Two years into our friendship, she confided to me the pressure she feels to settle down due to her cultural background. We were drinking with friends and I drunkly said I'd marry her.
A week after, she approached me about it and wanted to know if I was serious. Now, this may seem ridiculous, but I was. I've never really seen myself as one to get married, but Aisha ( my wife) was a really good friend, attractive and I figured this wouldn't be the worst way to do so.
We " courted" for about 6 months, I met her family and we got married 6 months ago.
Here is where my problems start. Aisha had confided with me that she doesn't really think she's the kind of person to fall in love or have deep feelings for partners. This was fine, I knew about this before we got married. She kept letting me know about this and making sure I was ok with the whole marriage thing.
Now I'm in this predicament, I'm incredibly in love with her. I want to spend the rest of my life with her
I don't know how to tell her this because I know this isn't what she would like. She's been approaching this as two good friends who happen to be married and I want more.
TL;DR: | I'm in love with my wife. We didn't marry for love and I don't know how to tell her I love her as it's not her " thing" |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [22/f] have an imaginary life and friends
POST: I'm a 22 year old woman. I have a job and I'm married. I was diagnosed with high functioning autism as a child but I am doing just fine. Except for one thing.
Since I was about 10 years old I've had an imaginary world and friends. They change as I age. Sometimes I don't think about them for months or even years and then they're back.
I'm really embarrassed about this. I imagine a world in which I'm a witch/princess in a medieval land (although sometimes I include elements of sci fi). I have all kinds of friends that help me in my 'quests'.
I'm an avid reader and most of the characters in my head are based on my favorite book characters and sometimes they're people from a variety of shows that I like.
I know 100% that what I imagine isn't real. I never mistake any of it for reality.
Still, I wonder if it's unhealthy that I do this. I told my parents about it when I was 17 and they viewed it as something bad and sent me to therapy. The therapist didn't flat out tell me it was wrong. She didn't encourage me to stop or anything.
I don't have any people that I consider my real friends except for one. She's 19/f, single and she does the same thing with the imaginary world. She's the only one who knows.
TL;DR: | I [22/f] have an imaginary world in my head. I'm really embarrassed by it and wonder if it's unhealthy and if I'm a female neckbeard. |
SUBREDDIT: r/pettyrevenge
TITLE: Saving Wikipedia by Pettiness
POST: Today a guy added inflamatory and made-up claims about a famous female
radio host's Wikipedia article. He ended up in an edit war when people
tried to reset his changes and eventually got blocked.
Me and some administrators tried to talk with him on his user
talk page, demanding sources and asking him to stop his
defamation of her. He went into a full-on bitch-and-moan mode and
started a tirade about how if *he* needed sources for *his* claims,
all other source-less claims should be removed as well. He started
listing all the prizes the radio host had got and how we *must*
remove them from her page because of lack of sources.
I explained that we *must* do nothing, but that of course all claims
without sources are free for him to remove. He asked to be unblocked but I
decided that I could not let this beast loose on her article easily.
Before an administrator unblocked him, I went on Google and found
good sources for all of the claims he intended to remove.
TL;DR: | Guy tried to defame a radio host on Wikipedia, got mad at our demands for sources, intended to remove a lot of other source-less claims. I added sources to all the good stuff about her in the article. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: I[m19] just can't get over my breakup ...
POST: About a month ago, I broke up with my girlfriend (or, if you prefer, she broke up with me). I've been sad for a while, of course, and then I got better, but right now I'm beginning to have problems. It's a bit complicated :
Last Monday I slept at her home (needed a place to stay for the night), and she had two friends over, coming from far away. One of them just can't stand me - I have no idea why - and she went to see a movie with us this one night, so he wouldn't be in the same room as mine too long. I was already pretty depressed at this point, because I couldn't help but think it wasn't innocent of her to take him out to see a movie. Then when they came back, they found the bedroom could only host three people. So, as she "didn't want them to think she preferred to see a guy who lives in her city (me) rather than spend time with friends who came from far away" ... they all slept in the same room, and I slept alone in a bed, hearing them laugh all night. At this moment I was REALLY depressed.
Then I went somewhere else, and I progressively felt better ... And two days ago one of her friends went back home, leaving her and the other guy (the one who hates me) together alone.
Since then I've felt worse and worse. I know I shouldn't care, and she has every right to do what she wants with this guy, but the mere thought that they may be [you know what I mean, I couldn't find a way to express it] even as we speak makes me gloom and wanting to cry. I guess the problem is with me (even if the fact she mostly doesn't talk to me when she has guest doesn't help me) and I've got to accept this ... But how ? Have you got any advice on how to get better, or to make peace with these facts ? Even advice on what to do when I'm depressed would help ..
TL;DR: | My ex-girlfriend is probably sleeping with a guy who hates me, and I have a hard time accepting it. What to do ? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [25 M] with my girlfriend [24 F] of a year, are looking for outside opinions on me cheating in a class and her desire to report me
POST: Story:
Some time ago, I took a class at my state college in NC. I was stressing out about it during finals, and I did something pretty stupid. Students were given about 1 hr to review old tests, and we were all going through them and writing notes about the questions for the final (this is allowed). Though, I can't write very fast or legibly, so I used my phone to take pictures of the old tests (we already took these tests). I then used those pictures to help me study for the final, which ended up being mostly old exam questions. I did good in the class before that, it probably wasn't even necessary to get an A.
So here's the thing. I printed out those pictures on paper to study from and had them lying around my office. My girlfriend (who actually took this class with me) was helping me clean my office and found these pictures. Important: **My girlfriend has diagnosed OCD about cheating**. She was victimized in her past about cheating and that past event partly triggered her OCD. So, this is a doubly horrible situation.
She's very upset. Part of her OCD concerns confessions and she has the power to report me to my university. I've already graduated but I bet there is some disciplinary action they can take which can affect my admission to post-secondary education.
We still haven't talked about how this would affect our relationship, it's possible she may even want to break up.
So here is where you all can help. Because my girlfriend has OCD, it's hard for her to judge what is "normal" or how bad something really is, for a "regular" person. I am biased, so she can't ask me, and she doesn't want to ask her friends for risk of them reporting me.
So, in your opinion, how bad was this cheating? Should she report me? Should I report myself? Should she break up with me?
We would appreciate your thoughts on this. Thanks everyone
TL;DR: | Girlfriend has diagnosed OCD about cheating and found out I cheated in a class we had. How should we deal with this situation? |
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU by leaving my new phone unattended and annoying the thief
POST: So this happened around two weeks ago. I had just bought my beautiful new Galaxy S6 Edge and I brought it to school, proudly.
I went to Maths class with my phone in my pocket and gracefully put it on my table. We have assigned seating, I'm next to this smoking hot girl, I'd consider us friends.
Suddenly, she grabs my S6 Edge and starts playing on it, I don't have a passcode so she goes into my messages and photos and stuff. Whenever a girl annoys me, I'll always give a light tug on their hair, not enough to hurt them, just to annoy them.
This girl has her hair out, it's super long and shiny, so boys at my school are attracted to it like gollum to his precious. They always wack at it and stick pencils in it, so her natural reflex now is to shake her head and wack them away.
I grab her hair into a pony and start wagging it around jokingly. She starts laughing and wacking my hand away, phone still in her beautiful hands and accidentally manages to drop it.
My beautiful new phone, held by a beautiful girl, tumbles to the ground and it's screen shatters into a 1000000 pieces. The screen turns black, the phone gets **SUPER** boiling hot and we both look on in horror.
I tell her not to worry about it because I can't bring myself to make someone that gorgeous pay (I know I'm shallow) and end up forking over $300 to a repair shop.
TL;DR: | Hot girl started looking through my new phone, I grabbed her hair, she wacked my hand away, dropped and shattered it. |
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU by coughing up a nasty on my own love shaft :/
POST: 3am, regular night smoking some weed before a nights rest. So I head to my bathroom where my paraphernalia is stored and about to take a hit when I realise my stomach is a little upset, so I proceed to take a hit-shit. I sit down on the throne and both go accordingly, until I started coughing pretty hard after my hit. I did one of those huge everyday-stoner coughs that kick up a nasty clump of phlegm from the depths of my throat, except this one came flying out without even touching the inside of my mouth (swish?) and righttt on my dick. A huge nasty clot of mucus right there on my womb raider, gross. Oh well, I guess I'll just get some toilet pa-... fuckshit. I stared at the used up roll of toilet paper in a moment of sadness, then awkwardly clean my dick in the sink and proceed to waddle through the living room and kitchen with my ass hanging out to get new some new toilet paper. Every sensor on alert in case my mum woke up from her slumber on the couch.
Totally killed my vibe, man.
Didn't totally fuck up, but could of been really really close.
TL;DR: | coughed up a huge loogie on my dingaling and then had to waddle my ass through my apartment to get a roll of TP with my Mum sleeping on the couch. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My [28m] SO [27f] of 8 Years Gave Me The "Love You But Not In Love." Could Depression Be the Cause?
POST: I've been with this girl for about 8 years. We have been madly in love the whole time. We got a house together a couple years ago and I finally proposed about a year ago. We were planning on getting married this summer. This past Saturday she said she was going to the store, gave me a kiss and we said our "I love you's" like normal. Half an hour later she comes back in tears and said "I can't do this anymore", says she's changed and doesn't like who she's become. She then left to stay with a friend for a few days.
While she was gone I found a letter saying things like how she tried to fix us (I didn't realize we needed fixing), but couldn't. Most alarmingly, she said that she hasn't been happy for over a year.
She had always some issues with low self esteem, but I now see she has some self loathing issues. She also has a history of sexual abuse and self harm. I'm concerned that she may be dealing with depression.
Earlier today I finally got to talk to her face to face. I told her I was scared that she is depressed and said I wanted to see a couples therapist. She seemed to agree that she may be depressed, but refused to see a couples therapist. She said that she will consider seeing a therapist by herself (which made me feel a little better) She then dropped the "I love you, but I'm not in love with you" bomb and left again. I am heart broken and confused.
So my questions are, can depression cause someone to feel that they have fallen out of love with someone and is there any chance that she could regain her love for me after treatment?
TL;DR: | Were together for 8 years. Suddenly she says she's not in love any more and leaves. Could depression be a cause? |
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU by texting my feelings to people when I was high
POST: Last night was the first time I ever had a brownie. Not your regular brownie you buy at a store. It was really strong and I felt like my heart was beating so fast. It felt like my heart was gonna beat out of my chest. So I thought to my self "If I died right here I would want to leave the world with no regrets or grudges". So I called an old friend who I basically just abandoned. We talked for a few minutes and I express how so sorry I was for not being a great person or friend at the time. She didn't give me another chance and I basically lost her as a friend.
After that moment, I decided to text everyone I know an apology no matter it being a little problem that people woudn't see as a problem. For example I texted a girl on my floor Im sorry for taking your pen. Little stuff like that. The last text was too a girl back home I kinda was interested in. We use to be really close friends and now were not as close. I texted her an apology about me waking her up from one of my pranks (a post I had a few weeks ago). This morning I wake up to a cluster of replies from texts. People actually thought I gave an apology for simple things, i did give some pretty big ones. Any way I explain to the girl that I was really messed up and what not. Now her replies seem like she was annoyed or something. I don't know if she was mad because she think I texted her because I was fucked up
Btw both of those girls are really good friends.
TL;DR: | Got high and texted my feelings to people. People were confused and thought I was really apologizing for simple things (made things awkward). Lost one friend and may have just lost another. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Girl with admitted Asshole BF, should i approach?
POST: I'll try to make this short.
I (19) know a girl (19,lets call her Susan) with whom i've had something going on when we were in high school, we made out, nothing too special but we were both our first kisses. She pretty much fell in love with me and i kind of with her but in the end i got togehter with another girl cause i was an awkward teenager who didnt know shit. My relationship to the other girl ended about 6 months ago (in peace ,stayed friends,became long distance relationship after she moved,didnt work out) and Susan started contacting me more frequently and we quickly got into the old habbit of making fun of each other and laughing together. I feel like she is really trying to reach out to me again and i actually still feel something for her. Now normaly this would be an easy catch. Shes stunning beautiful, intelligent and fun to be around. Only problem is she has a boyfriend. The guy, from what my friends told me, seems to be a prick and they all say he doesnt deserve her and i should have been with her and so on. She really seems to still like me and also mentioned that she really misses being with me and that we totally should meet more often (she lives in another city). I am not the kind of asshole to hit on another dudes girl. What is the way to go here ?
TL;DR: | Girl i kissed before now has another guy who seems to be an asshole. She was heavily in love with me. I still like her a lot (not sure if love right now). What to do? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: [19/M] Falling for student [18/F] in my class
POST: So I'm a TA at my college and I have a girl, very pretty IMO, in my class who usually comes to my office hours each week and last time it happened to be just us 2 so as I was helping her with homework, we started talking about ourselves and a variety of interests we have, in classical music, our future, etc and we ended going for over an hour and a half and a bit past the end of my hours. This week she didn't come but another girl was there who is actually her roommate and when I started talking to her a bit about major and interests, she mentioned that she already knew because her roommate told her about it. If it helps, during lab (physics class), she and her group are always calling me over too, by name and ignoring the other TAs. I know it's inappropriate to make advances to her, as her TA, but does it sound like she may be interested in me and worth a shot asking her out at the end of the semester, especially if things like this continue?
TL;DR: | I'm interested in a girl in my class but am unsure whether she's attracted to me and is worth asking out. |
SUBREDDIT: r/dating_advice
TITLE: Should I bother with asking this girl out?
POST: I'm a guy (23) that has a rather huge crush on this girl (about 21). We go to the same college, but still rarely see each other. I manage to be able to talk to her only on even rarer occasions because she's in the college's pharmacy school and is very busy.
I want to ask her out. I really do. But there is so much standing between us that it probably won't work. For one, she has this asshole that keeps creeping her out by asking her out by doing things like asking her to dinners alone weeks in advance and actively trying to become things like her volleyball coach (Oozeball, volleyball in about 2 feet of mud). This pretty much scares me into not directly asking her out fearing that I'll be put in the same category of creeper dude, but doing it the subtle way is either going to take forever or never happen.
Secondly, she doesn't seem like she's interested in me (what a surprise). Thirdly, I don't know if we even have anything in common. We rarely get to talk and when we do, we don't get a chance to talk about that kind of thing. Although, from what I've heard, she's a fancy and possibly rich girl (basically avoids Walmart and buys from higher-end stores). This means she is also more than likely out of my damn league.
She also goes on about Neal from White Collar and I look NOTHING even remotely similar to him.
I don't know what to do anymore. The direct approach may put me in the same "creeper" boat as the asshole, but the subtle approach will likely take forever just to get rejected anyway.
I'm considering just scrapping the plan. As it is, we're kinda, sort of, maybe friends (more like acquaintances though) and this will more than likely ruin the whole thing.
TL;DR: | I like this girl, she's out of my league and probably too creeped out by another asshole, should I bother to ask her out? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [18 M] told my girlfriend [17 F] she was right, and then she left me
POST: We were together for 6 months before the break up and 2 months into it I told her I loved her. She told me I was wrong because I knew nothing about her. I swore up and down that she was wrong with all we had in common and are great chemistry.
Recently after much thought I came to the conclusion that she might be right. I don't have a car so it's hard for us to get any time alone except for when we are out with friends. Are only real time alone is if I'm walking her to class. How can I truly be in love with her if I can't take her out and do fun things with her. Are relationship is just long text messages and school. And that was beginning to sour as well
I told her how I felt thinking it would some how put us on even ground. she completely stopped talking to me for 2 weeks and avoiding me are school. When I asked her she said she felt lied to and that she was beginning to have strong feelings for me. She also said that if I don't love her now how will I love her in the future. she still wants me in her life forever that we both need time to think. I think the last thing we need is time apart Plus she's still in my circle of friends. Did I Fuck it up for good? What do I need to do to make this better?
TL;DR: | I told her she was right about me not loving her the way I thought I did and she only liked me and because of that we BROKE up. How do I make it better |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My [28F] girlfriend wants to spend more time together than I [23F] feel able to.
POST: I just got off the phone with my girlfriend.
We were talking about how I have been feeling stressed about not having enough time to do all the things I have committed to recently, and it has affected our time together. (on one occasion)
She said that her immediate reaction was to suggest we spend less time together, but then thought no that's stupid, we shouldn't spend less time together just because my partner decided to commit to too much.
(I didn't respond too much because I didn't want to get into a huge discussion given it was late already and I have an early start tomorrow.)
But it just made me feel so uncomfortable. We spend at least 5 nights together and one full day on the weekend together. Honestly, it's too much for me.
I don't think it's unreasonable to cut down a bit on the time we spend together so I feel less stressed. I feel like I barely get any time to spend on myself because the time I'm not with her is packed to the brim with study, exercise, chores etc.
Yes, I don't have to do those things- but they're super important to me and I don't think need to impede significantly on our time together.
I don't know how to bring this up with her - I just know she'll take it super personally. Previous times when I've suggested I would rather stay home alone on a given evening because I feel introverted have gone down horribly. I feel like it'll inevitably become "this relationship doesn't mean much to you", "you always prioritise other things above me".
TL;DR: | My girlfriend wants to spend more time together than I feel I have capacity for because of other commitments. She thinks I should put up with it because I made those commitments. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [21F] with gay roommate [30s M] of 2 months, his casual misogyny, butt-slapping and rudeness are bothering me
POST: This guy Steve moved into our apartment at the beginning of December but was rarely here until January started. He's a man in his thirties who also goes to school. We live with two other women in their early twenties--it bears mentioning that both of them are a little more "easygoing" than me. He's gay, which I'm mentioning because I've definitely had experiences with gay men who think that certain social rules i/r/t respecting women don't apply to them. He seemed really nice and shy at first but I'm getting really pissed off at his casual misogyny, mostly in terms of touching me without permission and making sexual jokes about me.
Points of interest:
* The other day I was putting my boots on using the chair as leverage and he walked by and slapped my ass. I was really surprised and was like "dude what the fuck" because...that's not okay. I don't really do physical contact with people as is.
* Makes gross sexual jokes about me, e.g. our sink makes this nasty suction sound and he's been like "hey that's the sound that AssSlapThrowaway's asshole makes"...he's made similar jokes along these lines and they're not really funny
* He's called me a bitch before in an 'endearing way'
* This morning I was eating a piece of toast and some veggie scramble (using a fork to put it on the toast) and he told me I "eat like a pig". I was ice cold and told him to fuck off and that he was being rude, and he was like "I'm just telling the truth" and didn't apologize....? I have an ED history and am paranoid about people seeing me eat as is so I probably just won't eat in the common space anymore.
How do I draw a firm line that this kind of shit makes me uncomfortable? Even if it's okay with my roommates (and I've never seen him act this way toward them!!!), it's definitely not okay with me. I feel like I'm supposed to "lighten up" and deal with his annoying personality, but I should be able to feel comfortable in my house.
TL;DR: | Gay dude roommate slapped my ass, calls me a bitch, told me I eat like a pig and makes sexual jokes about me. It makes me really uncomfortable and I'm not sure what to do. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My [28F] dad [62M] was recently diagnosed with high grade cancer and I am scared and need advice
POST: My dad had his prostate removed a little over a month ago, because a tumor had taken over 75% of it. He has started hormone therapy and will be starting chemo early June and radiation (I forget when for that one).
I am terrified on how to broach the subjects of "what ifs" about treatment not being enough... it's high grade, and grew quickly.
I am seeing him in 5 days (he lives on the east coast, I live on the west coast) and I don't know if it's appropriate or not to bring up the subject of "how should we handle everything if this doesn't work" and "how can I help you from so far away" and such. He needs me to be strong, as he's trying so very hard to be strong but I know he's terrified and has been having panic attacks and so much pain and unable to concentrate on anything else to relax.
I was thinking of taking him to a craft store or electronic store, to maybe get him some puzzles/3D puzzles to work on, or get a soldering iron and some stuff to make some cool stuff on circuit boards with LED lights. He needs hobbies, so I'm definitely going to be helping him find some while I visit for a few days.
But, this will be the last time I see him before his big treatments start.. should I wait on discussing the scary parts? Or should this be done now before the chemo/radiation make him unable to be fully-present?
My brother just visited him and I asked if he had that talk. He said he had not, because "he'll be fine" and I told him "you don't know that." His answer "He will." I feel like he's in denial and being avoidant and I need to be there for my dad no matter what, as he's been the number one person in my life, and it is my turn to be there for him, but I don't want to make things worse.
TL;DR: | Visiting my dad this weekend who will soon be going through all the treatment for cancer. Do we discuss the "what ifs" of treatment not being strong enough? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Am I reading too far into this, have things changed?
POST: Let me preface this with the fact this may be a trigger for some people out there, and does involve infidelity.
That being said I am a married women in an open marriage, my husband is aware of everything down to the tiny details. I met( we will call him Jon) about 6 months ago. Jon has been married for a *long* time and is not in an open marriage. However, after talking and meeting up, we decided to pursue a sexual relationship. It has had its ups and downs over the past 6 months but for the most part has been well. In the beginning he was adamant about not being able to have feelings for me, and that this was just a sex based relationship which I was totally okay with. I agreed and overtime we did become friends and I developed feelings for him.I wouldn't say I love him but I have grown to care for him. However, lately things seem different but he has never out right said anything to me about it.
He tells me he misses me after we have "finished" talking for the day, for instance, at 5:00 he will tell me he is on his way home from work and I will say have a good night, then 5 hours later I will get a simple "thinking of you", or "miss you" text, he occasionally calls me baby and during sex a few weeks ago called me love( but he caught himself). We talk about alot of different things such as work, our kids, traveling,hobbies etc( it used to be purely sexual). I just don't know what to think. My husband thinks he has developed feelings for me and doesn't want to admit it to himself but I on the other hand think its nothing.
I ask this here because if he has developed feelings for me, I don't know how I will proceed with it.
TL;DR: | Started seeing a man, was supposed to be just casual sex, now I think he may care for me based on his behavior. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: If you touch the damage on your car after getting into an accident, do you screw yourself over with insurance?
POST: So I would like to preface this by saying that I know I'm an idiot. I was in an accident the other day where someone hit me in a parking lot and messed up my bumper and back right panel. I was planning on going through insurance since this is a pretty new car.
Well, today, some guy in the parking lot of the grocery store (autozone, I'm telling you this so I don't sound as stupid), tells me he can get the dent out of my car. Now, I was sitting in my car waiting to meet someone and I had like an hour to spare, and I wasn't really thinking, so I was like whatever, I have time to spare. And asks if he can take a closer look at it. I say sure. Next thing I know, he pull out a hammer and start pounding the dent out from the inside of my trunk. And I'm like wtf! Who told you to touch anything. So they are basically telling my how the dents are out, not really it's very bumpy and it's noticeable. And then they are telling me that I can pay them what I think it's worth. Which was nothing, so I didn't give them crap and instead was like who the hell asked you to actually touch anything!
So basically, I have pics of the damage and I still haven't reported the accident to insurance. Should I just try to have a body shop fix it and get the person that hit me to pay for it or is it even worth talking to my insurance about it?
TL;DR: | I'm a dumbass that accidentally let some guy hammer a dent out of my car for an accident that I wasn't at fault at and now I want to know if its even worth it to get the insurance involved. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Reddit, have you ever seen someone attractive and developed a crush/obsession quickly only to never see them again?
POST: Early today, like 6 am, I flew from Providence to Denver. Waiting to board the plane I saw this incredibly guy that was about my age. (High school Junior/Senior.) He boarded ahead of me and I didn't see him any more. Except this was a Southwest flight where you have no assigned seats and I ended up next to him. Our plane had a flap sensor issue that left us grounded for a while(2.5 hours) and a 4 hour flight. He was really shy or I was really annoying so we didn't talk much. I learned why he was in Providence (family) and why he was in Colorado (Home). I learned he was a junior. He like epic meal time based on a jacket that has the bacon strips repetition and a bacon strips belt. Other than that he said nothing else for 6+ hours and I tried. None the less, I was crushing bad. He was very attractive, especially his eyes. Because we didn't talk much, Zach (or Zack) and I don't know last names, or phone numbers. I doubt he cares because he wasn't interested in talking. But now I will never talk to one of the biggest crushes I've had, that I developed in record time.
TL;DR: | Met a cute guy on plane, crush despite him being shy, never see again because I don't know a full name or a phone number |
SUBREDDIT: r/personalfinance
TITLE: Received 1099-Misc from Property Mgmt Company for Compensation of Lost Items?
POST: The last place I rented an apartment from offered storage units that you could add on to your lease for a set monthly fee. After renting one of the units for a couple of months, the property management company re-rented it to someone else and all my stuff was missing when I re-gained access to the unit. I hadn't missed any payments for the unit, the company just fucked up on their end. After much back and forth, they agreed to cut me a check for $1,800 to cover the costs of the missing items.
Yesterday, I received a 1099-MISC form from them saying I received $1,800 in Non-Employee Compensation. Is that normal for this type of situation? This wasn't income, it was compensation for items that were stolen from me, essentially. I already paid sales tax on the items in the unit, why do I need to pay income taxes on the compensation to replace those items? I'm very confused by this.
TL;DR: | Apartment building cut me a check for $1,800 as compensation for stolen items. Received 1099-MISC for it and wondering if I'm supposed to pay taxes on this or not. |
SUBREDDIT: r/personalfinance
TITLE: Please help me understand W-4 allowances.
POST: I'm trying to understand why the W-4 Personal Allowance Worksheet is so inaccurate given my financial situation.
When I complete the W-4 Personal Allowance Worksheet, it indicates I should have 2 allowances: (I don't know why the second "1" is large and red). I am single and have one job.
I know I am not withholding enough, based on last year's taxes, when I was earning approximately $90,000 per year, as I owed about $4,000 in at tax time. I have 6% of my paycheck withheld to contribute to my employer-sponsored 401(k) (not Roth).
I then completed the IRS Withholding Calculator at which indicated I should be listing 0 allowances on my W-4.
So, my question is this: Why is the Personal Allowance Worksheet on the actual W-4 form seemingly so inaccurate given my rather straight-forward financial situation?
Any help understanding this would be very much appreciated.
As a side note, I'm now changing my allowances to 0.
Thanks!
TL;DR: | Why is the W-4 withholding calculator so inaccurate compared to the online IRS withholding calculator for a single person with one job? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [27 M] with my GF [25 F] of over 1 Year, keeps forgetting to take her seizure medication.
POST: So I have been with my girlfriend for a little over a year and I have known that she has seizures. Which I obviously don't have a problem with otherwise I wouldn't still be with her. I absolutely love this girl and would be happy spending my life with her but, the circumstances of when she has a seizure concerns me.
Everytime she has a seizure, which is usually once every few months. She tells me after the fact that she had forgotten to take her medication for a full day or more. Maybe I'm just being critical but, for a condition such as hers I feel like that wouldn't be something I would forget to do. I take medication myself and I can't remember the last time I forgot to take it.
I don't want to be mean or accusatory but, to me this is simply unacceptable. The fact is that having a seizure can be very dangerous. Most of the time it's not but, what if she were behind the wheel of a car? I want to be supportive and helpful but, I can't be with her all the time to remind her twice a day every day to take her medicine and that shouldn't be my responsibility.
If it wasn't for the fact that the cause of her seizures was her forgetting her medicine I wouldn't have a problem but, I truly love this woman and I get scared and worried every time she tells me she had a seizure. I feel like I need to have a conversation with her about this but, I don't know how to approach the topic.
TL;DR: | My girlfriend forgets to take her seizure medication which I find careless and irresponsible. How do I approach this conversation with her without sounding insensitive? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [19 M] with my crush [18 F] duration, not attractive enough for her
POST: I have a friend at school in my grade, we'll call her Sarah, who I have had a crush on since she moved to my state in August. I was her first friend here and I introduced her to my group of friends and we've been good friends ever since. My only fear is that I am not physically attractive enough for her. I haven't ever necessarily been considered "ugly", but more so "not ugly" or "cute". While seeking help for this very issue my other friend said that I was a 7, while Sarah is a solid 9.
I have always been very nice to her and whenever someone has been mean to her, even if it is one of my best friends, I stand up for her, most of the time after hanging out I will walk her home, I buy her food from time to time. Is there anything I can do that can do to make her more attracted to me?
TL;DR: | What can I do personality-wise that can outweigh my physical appearance and make a girl that is prettier than I am handsome attracted to me? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My(M22) GF(F22) of six months still has photos of her ex on her laptop, what's appropriate?
POST: I(M22) am in a 6 month relationship with my girlfriend (F22) and everything so far has been great. The other night, we were looking through some photos on her laptop and we happened upon photos of her and her ex, mostly of the two of them together, some kissing, ect. (nothing beyond kissing/cuddling) and I noticed that she went through them rather fast (not surprising). I'm pretty sure I know the guys first name and I noticed a folder also on her laptop within her photos folder with his name on it. I'm confident in my relationship with my girlfriend and seeing the photos didn't really bother me, but the more I think about it the more its starting to pester me. She was in a long relationship with him (I believe over two years) throughout college, so I can understand why she might have the photos. Looking for some opinions and perspectives on what might be considered appropriate not only on her end, but on mine as well (whether I should bring it up to her or leave it be).
TL;DR: | Girlfriend of 6 months still has photos on her laptop of her ex that she dated for over two years in school. Should I say something or let it go? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [19 M] with my SO [21 F] Trying to find stability with feelings. Specifically love
POST: Hey r/relationships. I have been in a long distance relationship with my SO for 4 months now. We met online and havn't met in person yet. She is a really great girl and from our first few encounters I felt infatuated with her. She felt the same about me so we began talking regularly and texting. after about 3 weeks I finally asked her to be my girlfriend and then it turned into a roller coaster.
I enjoy every minute I spend with her but sometimes my love for her is overwhelming and sometimes I just feel numb. Its split about 70% love and 30% numbness. I'll feel numb for 3 days and then great for a week and then numb again. Usually when I feel numb its because she gets upset over stupid things and wont even talk to me for a whole night. Then when I wake up she will say its ok and try to go on like normal. I just have a problem going on like normal again and it takes a few days to recover.
I don't want to break up with her because I know she makes my life happier. Thats why I am seeking advice on how to deal with this numbness or just trying to find out if its normal. We are finally getting to meet up next month in 31 days after our finals are over and I really want to make it until then at least to see how good we are together. Thanks for the help!
TL;DR: | When we argue I feel numb for a few days and then I feel love for her again. Is this normal and are there things to help prevent it? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [19M] told my friend [18F] I would go to prom with her but it's expensive and I don't really want to go.
POST: I went to high school with Claire. We used to hang out occasionally at school but didn't see each other for a while after I graduated last June because she was a year behind me so she's still in school. A few months ago we started hanging out again.
One of the first times we hung out after we reconnected, she asked if I would go to her senior prom with her "as friends." I said sure because I'm kind of a pushover when it comes to helping out my friends.
The problem is that I don't really want to go. It's $40 for a ticket and it doesn't sound like a good time to me. Claire knows I'm pretty broke right now and offered to cover the cost of my ticket but I said I would pay for my own ticket because it didn't seem fair for her to pay for two. It's going to be painful for me to spend that much money on something as useless as a prom ticket though. Fortunately for me, she said she doesn't expect me to rent a tux or hire a limo or anything like that.
I've already said I would go and it's in a couple weeks so I would feel like an asshole for flaking out and leaving her without a date but I don't foresee it being a fun experience for me. To make things more complicated, the nature of our relationship is somewhat hazy. I have a bit of a crush on her and one of her friends told me that she's into me. So we're both into each other but have never really addressed that fact. I haven't tried to turn our friendship into anything more more than that because my life is a mess right now and I don't know if beginning a relationship would be good for me right now.
I don't know exactly what my question is. I just have this problem and wanted some advice. Not going to the prom doesn't seem like an option so I guess what can I do to make this not a terrible experience?
TL;DR: | Told a friend (who has a crush on me and who I have a crush on) I would go to prom with her but I don't want to go. Help. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I (24f) don't fit in with my group of friends (f24,f25,f25). Will I regret keeping my distance and slowly just fading away?
POST: I moved away years ago for college but have some really close friends back at home. They have been there for me through thick and thin. We always keep in touch literally throughout the years and every time we would have a get together, it's almost like I never even left. They are the only best friends I have.
The problem is...I feel so different. When I go back home to visit, it's the same conversations, same alcohol, same everything. Every time they start talking about something, I can't help but to disagree. I speak my mind and then automatically feel the weird silence. I start to feel insecure, maybe I shouldn't have said that? Here's one little example: My dream is to one day live abroad and explore the world more. They will tell me how unsafe or crazy that is. I will explain to them why I want to or why I am passionate about it...then bam...weird silence. Maybe it's all in my head, or maybe I'm talking about myself too much? Idk? Another thing is i feel like i am doing things because they want to do it, not because i truly enjoy it. For example, They prefer going to concerts, and I prefer making a day of hiking or exploring something new. I know they arent judging me or anything though. I know we are all just very different people. However, I wish I was surrounded by more people who had the same interest as I do.
So my question is, is it stupid to want to just end my 10+ years relationship with my friends because I no longer fit in? Is it a problem that we are all so different from each other? Will I regret this? Have you guys been in this situation before? Anything will help thanks!
TL;DR: | I no longer fit in with my friends. Is it wrong to just do my own thing from now on and keep my distance? |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: How do you get a kid who can't focus on his homework to finish his school project when he can't stop playing games or dicking around? I couldn't figure it out at my age, and now i'm watching my 16 year old cousin repeat the exact same path.
POST: When I was younger, I could never get my schoolwork done. Now, never doesn't mean I didn't do anything, but more along the lines of DO IT AT THE LAST SECOND, PRETEND TO WORK UNTIL THAT POINT. No matter what my parents did, from taking away my games, to watching over my shoulder, I'd find a way to dick around and do nothing. I just couldn't get myself to do it. I still find myself having these problems day to day when it comes to things like looking for colleges.
I've been ashamed of this since I was out of high school. I wish I'd known how important it was then, but even then I doubt it would have helped. I am now watching my 16 year old cousin repeat my same mistakes. It's obvious to me that like myself, he's got some depression issues in addition to ADD. He's told myself and my relatives that he's been working on his thing for the past three days. I snuck outside to have a cigarette, and I could hear him talking to himself from underneath his second floor window. He was either just pretending, or playing with his friends. So, intrigued I walked upstairs... he rushes to his computer before I make it up there, screen is off and everything. Now.. you'd think porn, wouldn't you? But it wasn't. Turns out, screen was off because next to nothing has been done. He can't take off school tomorrow, because he's pulled this too many times.
I can't bear to watch this all over again, and it pains me deeply. My fuckups along these lines have effectively busted my life up something fierce. I just don't want to see the boy fall into the same pit I've gone and stuck myself in.
Reddit, how can I help my cousin out? I've already spoken to him and his mother about going to the doctor, but pills aren't a silver bullet. What can I do?
TL;DR: | my cousin can't stop dicking around long enough to get his work done and it's severely affecting his schooling. halp |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [F 26] just found out that the man [30 M] I've been in love with since University has just started the process of divorce!
POST: Basically, I've been in love with J. since University- although I was an undergraduate, he was a graduate student. He is literally, everything I have ever wanted in a man, but at that time, I was already in a serious relationship that I had been afraid to get out of.
We had this intense chemistry and I always wondered about him from time to time, thinking that somehow, we will meet at a later point in time.
He had gotten married straight from grad school, and I realized that it was never meant to be....until this week when I discovered from mutual friends that he had been unhappy in his marriage and finally started the process of divorce!
What would be a good way to start communicating with him again?
TL;DR: | Man I've been in love with since University just got a divorce. I always thought he was The One and we would meet later in life. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My GF[22F] is going to do coke at a party and I[25M] don't like being upset about it
POST: We've been dating for 2 months and we just started saying the L word and everything, I mean everything, is going fantastic. I truly love her and she makes me greatly happy in so many ways.
I've grown up a bit sheltered and although I've smoked weed for a couple of years (3-4 times a month), cocaine has always been a totally different thing/beast in my mind.
Two things: my GF takes it very rarely AND isn't addicted to it; it's something she likes doing from times to times to simply enhance her fun at parties. That, I get it.
I know; it's her own body, it's her own fun, she's a grown-up, I'm not here to tell her what to do/not do, BUT I can't help it, this is bugging me and making me upset inside.
I think the reason is that I don't like the idea of dating someone that does cocaine, that's it. It's the thought "My GF does coke" that I can't brush-off inside. That's not something I'd EVEN consider doing in a million years, I feel like this shift of mindset (about taking drugs) is distancing me emotionally. Also, my brother ruined his life completely with coke, but I don't feel like this is influencing anything as he's never really been in my life.
I've talked to her about it, but things being still new and fresh, I don't know if I want to make a big deal out of it since it's not a dealbreaker at the end of the day.
Should I just put on my grown-up pants and let it slide? I was thinking of simply telling her that I didn't want to be there when she'd consume it.
Thoughts/suggestions?
TL;DR: | My new GF will be doing coke soon and it's making me upset, but at the same time I don't like being upset about it and feel like I should just let it slide. Should I? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [22F] don't know what to do about my boyfriend [26M] and I have my own problems. Help?
POST: We've been together 2.5 years and are each other's first relationships. He lives with his parents and has only worked temp jobs since we've been together. All he seems to take initiative for is video games, guns, and browsing the internet. He says he wants a career in IT, but he only does the minimum for school. He's applied to jobs and gotten a few interviews but got discouraged when they didn't hire him. He says there are too many qualifications for even entry level positions, which is true, but he doesn't take the time to learn things on his own either.
He was extremely depressed growing up and, I think, his parents didn't really push him to be more independent.
He's incredibly supportive and thoughtful. Always thinking of me, surprises me with gifts. We have fun together. I love him, but I feel increasingly alone. I also have depression, and ever since I've been feeling like there's no future for us, I've become a meaner, more cynical person in general. I feel like I've been using him as an emotional dumping ground, like I'm corrupting him, and I'm not strong enough to stop. It's hurting him and making me weaker.
I don't want to be with someone who isn't self-motivated. I'm also not ready to give up yet. Besides getting my act together, what are some things I can do to help him? Should I point him to some online tutorials? IT job listings? Give him half-doses of my wellbutrin? (And I'm only half-kidding, he's still trying to get insurance)
TL;DR: | Boyfriend says one thing but acts like life is just fun and games. Should we split up or is there still hope? |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: What happens when every service oriented job becomes automated?
POST: This is a bit abstract and difficult to put into a question, but here it goes:
I'm a real estate agent and I started contemplating how long it would be before we're no longer needed. I'm sure artificial intelligence will get to a point where the human interface on the client end will be so smooth as to eliminate the need for an actual person and just replace it with a virtual real estate agent who can handle all questions. Mind you, I'm thinking at the nth level of AI and technology.
Much like the industrial revolution took away jobs, wouldn't it just be a matter of time before technology gets to a point that companies seek to replace telemarketers, tellers, customer service operators, travel agents, store clerks, and then eventually doctors, insurance agents, mechanics?
Well, when that happens - when jobs begin to disappear through automation - wouldn't that affect the market these services are being sold to? If people lose their jobs and there are no jobs left to find, how could people afford to purchase/use the good/services that have become automated?
TL;DR: | As all jobs get lost to automation, how can the companies who replaced those jobs with robots stand to make money off of consumers who are not making any money? |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Got pulled over last night. Should've gotten a ticket, but didn't. When was the last time you got traffic-stop lucky?
POST: So last night I'm driving down a major highway in my state. It was my first time driving that particular stretch of road and I was just cruising along. I had noticed that it went from 55 down to 45 upon entering a new county, and I initially slowed down, but then without even thinking about it, I sped up to 55 again... and then apparently I sped up some more, because before I even had a chance to look down at my speedometer, I saw lights go off in my rear-view mirror. So, I pull off to the side of the road. My jaw almost dropped to the floor when he told me that I was 17 miles over the speed limit.
First though: my dad is going to kill me if the insurance goes up (car is under his name... I refused to pay almost $500 to have it transferred to mine)
Second though: this is going to be one expensive ticket
Third thought: my dad is DEFINITELY going to kill me if the insurance goes up
So I give him my license and registration (LUCKY me it was night time, so he had back up shining a flashlight into the passenger side of the car as I dug through my glove compartment looking for my registration. Thankfully no gun in there haha)
They go off and come back in what seemed an eternity to me with my license and reg, no ticket/citation (saved me $254). I got one ticket 5 years ago and hadn't been stopped since, so he took mercy on me and let me off with a verbal warning/a note in the computer. Needless to say, I stuck to the speed limit the whole way home and on my way to work this morning -_
TL;DR: | Went 17MPH over the speed limit last night. Cop let me off because I hadn't had any citations/stops within the last 5 years. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [23 F] with my BF [24 M] 1.5 years, He is incredibly hurtful during arguments but won't see it
POST: My boyfriend and I have been together for a little over 1.5 years. We have a great relationship except for this one detail. When he gets upset, when we argue, he uses hurtful language or does hurtful things.
Examples:
* I say something he just said is upsetting, and that it hurt my feelings, he makes a "wah" sound (like a crying baby)
* He will sometimes say things like "I thought you were smarter than that" or "It's really annoying when you pretend to be dense". For the record I am not pretending to be dense, I simply ask him to clarify or say I don't understand something.
* He tells me to shut the fuck up, there have been 2 or 3 instances in our relationship where he called me a bitch. I talked to him about it and I seemed to get my point across, but the other stuff falls on deaf ears.
* He threatens to break up with me when he thinks I'm being difficult. He'll say something like "How much longer am I expected to put up with this and not just leave" etc.
I love him. He is a great person, he really goes out of his way to make me happy. However, when he's mad it's like his goal is to be as hurtful as possible, and to treat me like I'm an idiot. I have tried to talk to him about it and he'll retort with "well I get really upset so of course I'm going to say that". He sometimes apologizes later, sometimes he doesn't. I have made a lot of concessions for him with how I used to behave during arguments, yet apparently I don't get the same courtesy.
How do I get through to him??
TL;DR: | Boyfriend of 1.5 years is disrespectful and/or insulting during arguments, won't listen when I try to bring it up. How do I get through to him? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [25F] am taking care of my cousin[17F] who is a foreigner, and do not know what is or is not my place.
POST: My cousin moved from her home country four months ago to live with me. We are currently getting her enrolled in ESOL classes, so she can attend college.
We spoke about getting her a job when her english is better. I told her I could get her a job at a few different locations.
Her uncle called her Friday and told her he would be picking her up.
He comes to my house around 9 at night, I find him waiting in the driveway. He then to proceeds to basically make fun of my broken Spanish. He does not even bother telling me where he lives, where they are going, or what they plan on doing.
A lot of my calls and messages get ignored for hours when I ask her where she is.
I have her under my wing.
I thought I deserved the peace of mind to know where she was at.
My aunt (her mother) is a very important person to me, she told me to take care of her as we were leaving.
Am I out of place to want to know where she is at when she leaves? Or what city she is sleeping in.
TL;DR: | Have cousin under my wing, her distant uncle took her without letting me know where she was being taken to. Can I say something along the lines of please let me know where you are at. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [20F] need help/support/advice about breaking up with my long term, long distance boyfriend [20M] of 5 years.
POST: So long story short, my boyfriend and I of 5 years broke up recently. Things weren't right, but all I want to do is talk to him. We've been dating for 5 years (long distance), talking about marriage family etc. We were having some problems, were both in college and had different priorities. I wanted more of a commitment from him, I guess. He wanted everything, the whole college experience (well minus the dating) he joined clubs was always out with friends and didn't make time for me. I thought it was going ok, we managed problems as they came up, but he thought otherwise. The last month of our relationship he was a little more distance, having some problems on his end, but life happens, and I was ok being there and being supportive. Then he brings up the reoccuring problems we have in our relationship (mostly me wanting more time from him (I understood classes and the research he was doing came first, but I wanted to come after that). I didn't expect him to spend every single second of time not dedicated to school on me, but I wanted more than what he was previously giving. Anyway we talked about it and I spent the next day crying, I guess I knew where it was heading. We broke up that evening, I say it was mutual but he brought it up. This was just over a week ago
I am doing what I can but all I want to do is go back to him, I was so happy with him and so in love with him. It's hard not talking to him and I'm sad. Is it common to want to go back to your ex, is it ridiculous to do so? How do I get closure and move on and a bunch of other unknowns since this is my first breakup.
TL;DR: | My bf and I (of 5 yrs) broke up. I don't know what to do I want to go back to him but I don't know if it's an option or something I should even consider. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [25 F] with my BF [30 M] 2 years, he's in his ex-gf's wedding party
POST: Hi everyone,
I'm here looking for some advice on how to handle a situation that's coming up. My boyfriend who I've been with for a couple of years is in his ex-gf's wedding as the "man of honour". They dated a long time ago and remained friends but I'm insecure about the whole thing. It bothers me that he's friends with this girl who he's been romantically involved with and their friendship feels threatening to me.
The wedding is coming up. It's a destination wedding and he's invited me to go with him (I've accepted).
Basically I guess I'm looking for some words of wisdom for dealing with the anxiety I have surrounding this situation. Has anyone been in this situation? How did you deal with it, what was it like? My bf and I have fought over his relationship with this girl before and I really want this trip to go well even though I don't feel good about it.
Thanks.
TL;DR: | I'm going to my bf's ex-gf's destination wedding; he's the "man of honour". Looking for advice on dealing with the anxiety I feel about it because I want to have a positive experience. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Have you ever caused a psychic purchase in another person?
POST: Backstory: Just got back from a trip out of town. My wife says she needs her car taken in for service. We were flying in late so we would be picking up our kids from my parents the next day. I take the car in to the dealer after bringing my wife to work. They have the new Camaro in the showroom. This thing is pretty. I sit in the driver's seat and luxuriate in that new car smell. I am reminded of that Camaro I had in high school. I instantly want it in spite of the fact we can't afford it and it's totally impractical for a family. Also when picking up the wife's car, she is unimpressed and finds it to be uncomfortable. So that is pretty much the end of that.
Then after getting home, my parents drop off the kids. They say they're going to look at cars and then go straight to the same dealership and buy a Camaro. I only mentioned in passing I was taking the wife's car in for service. No mention was made of me buying a new car or my appreciation of the new Camaro.
TL;DR: | Have you ever wanted something you couldn't have only to have someone close to you buy that exact thing without saying a word to them about it? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [21M] with my girlfriend [22F] are taking a sudden break because she's worried she's changed too much.
POST: I moved into my apartment this past Saturday in preparation for my Senior year at University. My girlfriend graduated last semester, but found a good job in the same area so I thought I would be able to have my cake and eat it too seeing as she didn't need to move away to start her career, and I could still see her regularly and attend class. As soon as I'm done unpacking we watch an episode of her favorite show, but she won't let me put my arm around her, nor does she feel comfortable holding hands. Over the summer we saw each other fairly frequently for living three hours apart and I thought our relationship had come out fine, until the month of August where she stopped saying "I love you" back, never gave me times when I could call her, and would rarely send me more than two texts a day, when before we would send dozens.
These were definitely red flags, and when I communicated my anxiety about them she starts to tell me that she's been changing a lot as a person over the last month and is worried she doesn't see me romantically anymore. So after a few hours of talking, she didn't know if she wanted to break up, and decided to go on a break, but I feel this might just be a way for her to prolong breaking things off. I've never done this before in a relationship ,and seeing we've never had a real fight, I made sure to get her gifts, and to outright say I appreciate her regularly, is leaving me blindsided. I love this girl more than anything, but if she feels that she's changed too much to be with me the worst thing to do would be to ask her to stay. It's been four days without contact and my motivation and mood have plummeted resulting in a rocky start to the semester. I've been trying to focus on my own self-development in this time, but it's hard enough just getting out of bed. I just want her to be happy.
Do I just wait this break out until she's ready to talk again? Can people really change that much in one month that they'd want to throw away the past year? Any help would be great...
TL;DR: | Girlfriend doesn't know if she loves me anymore because she changed over the past month. Now on a break to see if she can find those feelings again. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My [18 F] new boyfriend [18 M] has beliefs that might interfere with out relationship
POST: Hello, thanks for reading this. So I just got into the university of my dreams and while visiting the school I met a guy, Jeremy, who was also an admit. We have the same sense of humor and enjoy pretty much entirely the same interests. There was definitely a mutual attraction and we hung out a lot. We were dating within 2 weeks.
So, it's three months later now. I still like Jeremy a lot and we have a lot of fun together. However, I've noticed a lot of disconnects between our beliefs. He was raised in a VERY religious environment and is a strong Christian. I am an atheist and have no problems with his beliefs. However he has already said that it would be cool if I could come to church with him. Doesn't seem to be to that big of a deal but it's just slightly uncomfortable to me.
In addition, he is a virgin and wants to save himself for marriage. This is a red flag for me because I am not a virgin (virg-out perhaps?) and frankly want to have sex. Also, he has expressed that while he believes in equality for all and whatnot he is uncomfortable with homosexual marriage in the church. This is a HUGE red flag to me because my own brother is a member of the LGBT community and I'm not really sure if what he's saying is homophobic or just adherence to religious beliefs.
So what should I do? Should I abandon ship since it's a relatively new relationship? The problem is is REALLY like him and I've never met someone so similar to me in interests and hobbies. We have a great time together and I don't want this to end, and I think he might become more open-minded in college as attending universities tends to make people a bit more liberal (as I learned in my government class, not just something I'm making up).
TL;DR: | boyfriend is really religious and I'm not, he's saving himself for marriage and I haven't, and he may or may not be prejudiced...what do I do? |
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU while showering and flexing my legs
POST: This literally happened a few minutes ago..
I was taking a long hot shower and decided the flex my legs with my back facing the shower head. For some odd reason, during the bathroom renovation of removing the bathtub, my parents decided to keep the [bathtub spout/faucet](
I completely forgot about it; and when I lifted up my left knee, my heel hit the faucet and pain shot down my foot. Blood started streaming down the drain and tainted the floor mat when I got out of the shower. After closer inspection, turns out the spout/faucet had scraped a good square inch of skin that's 1mm thick. What sucks even more is that it's not completely torn off. It essentially created a skin flap, where 1 side of the skin is still intact. I can't even peel off the skin without it stinging unbearably.
I won't post pics because I don't wanna remove my bandaid and then re-apply it after...
TL;DR: | Don't flex while showering when there's a bathtub spout behind you, or you'll be walking funny for a good week. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [35 M] with my wife [35 F], she treated me poorly and then caught her lying/cheating. Now she says she is changed? Can it be real?
POST: I previously posted my story here (
Basically my wife has been a negative, selfish person our entire marriage and has refused to work on it with me despite my repeated attempts. The final straw for me was when I discovered she had been sexting another man for 6+ months. That's when I told her I wanted a divorce.
What I am facing now is my wife finally saying all the right things and swearing she is a "different person", but I really have to question it. Why now? Why the refusal for years to act like a decent person towards people and why now the change? Because I finally said I want a divorce? I have to question if the change is real and if she is just doing it because now there are real consequences to her actions. I worry that if I give yet another chance, that she will just eventually revert back to her old behavior.
My question is, have any of you seen this behavior in your relationships? Where the person put in no effort the entire relationship and only when you were done trying and were ready for divorce did they actually seem to want to then try to make it work. Did you wait it out to see if it was real? Was it true long term change?
I just don't know what to believe any more.
TL;DR: | Wife treats me and everyone close to me like shit, then cheats. Now she wants me to believe she is a different and has changed. But how can I believe it? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [23/M] just started seeing [27/F] for about a week or so now. Had two date, seems a little distant now
POST: So I had met this girl online, We hit if off very well, Same interests, Open and honest with each other. Just an all around chill person. We texted and talked for hours everyday, teased with pics/nudes and have both said how much we really like each other.
First date went really well, had some drinks at a bar near her place. Didn't leave till last call. Instant connection. Made plans for a Friday night movie date at my place that night.
Couple days later we talk about how much we wanna see each other and all that, So I go down on a Wednesday after she gets off and we grab dinner. We can't keep our hands off each other after and we start making out in the car and feeling each other up.
After the date, she told me how she told her mom about me and all this. We talk late into the night and both go to bed. Everything is normal, We had talked about how neither of us are seeing or talking to other people so we are basically exclusive.
Well Friday comes and we are texting like normal, She then says out of nowhere how something had happend to someone her mom is close with. I tell her it's alright to cancel and to let me know what happens. At this point we are still texting but something seems a little off. She seemed to be a little distant. Saturday night we both had plans so we didn't say anything about meeting up. Sunday I try and invite her out, She says, Yes as long as I have a sitter ( she has a 5 year old). I'm not sure if I should give her space, ask why It seems like she got distant. I don't know.
TL;DR: | Met someone online, Hit it off amazingly well, had two dates both great, talked about how we really like eachother. She cancelled Friday and seems a bit distant now. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: [Serious] Reddit, I desperately need your help/advice on "how to move out"?
POST: Umm, this is a long story so I'll give you my current situation. If you want any details feel free to ask. Now then, I'm 22 and living with my family. We live in a small 3.5 bedroom house. My youngest sister shares a room with my grandma, my parent's have their own, and my other sister lives in a makeshift room that was made by my dad who put up small dry wall to create a room. He did this because she had an unplanned pregnancy at 17 and it was all he could do to accommodate. **Now here's where I need your help**, I share a room with my brother and his girlfriend. Here's the kicker, she's about to burst with a baby of her own and they aren't looking to move out any time soon! I haven't moved out because I work part time at Starbucks and go to community college full time. Given the circumstances, I feel forced to move out. So Reddit, how do I go about doing this?
TL;DR: | You can't fit 3 grown adults and a baby in a small room. Help me get the fuck out of here! |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My wife [28M] does not believe she has anything good to offer the world and I [33M] don't know how to support her
POST: My wife is a wonderful person. She's giving, and generous, and so very loving. She has depression, for which she is seeing a therapist, but of late she believes she is a "burden on the world". She keeps saying she is a terrible wife, a terrible daughter, a terrible sister, a terrible friend, and keeps talking about how her parents deserve a better daughter, and I deserve a better wife, and so on.
I know what is causing this. She is unemployed and looking for a job, but hasn't found anything. Her mom brought her up to believe that if a woman wasn't working and earning money, and instead was just staying at home, she was essentially worthless. I'm trying to get her to see all the ways she adds so much joy to my life, but no matter what I say she doesn't believe me.
I apologize if I'm all over the place, I love my wife and I want her to see how amazing she is, but I'm always terrified that one day I'll come home from work and... I can't think of a life without her.
I've spoken to her therapist about my fears. He tells me her medication will take a while to kick in and to keep an eye out for her in the meantime. I call her up during the day as often as I can and go home during lunch to see her.
Her mother is a nice lady but right now I'm resenting her so much because of what's going through my wife's head.
Is there anything that I can do to make my wife see the wonderful things I see in her? Is there anything more I can do?
TL;DR: | Wife is depressed and can't see the amazing things about her that I do. Worried that she might do something to herself. Want to help her see how amazing she is and how much she adds to my life. Please help. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I'm [25F] still heartbroken from my ex[25M] over 4.5 yr relationship that ended 3 years ago. How do I end the misery?
POST: Ok reddit...It's been a while since I posted about this particular relationship, but damn I can't get over it. Back story as follows..
My ex [25M] and I dated for 4.5 years throughout college and then broke up in October 2011. His reasons for doing so were mainly that he needed room to grow and that he couldn't give me everything I deserved. He wanted to remain friends and still talk (I know he still cared about me but wanted the freedom of a single guy which is understandable) so essentially we dragged our breakup limbo out for another 3 months or so (talking every couple days, etc.).
I dealt with some severe depression for months from this because of the withdrawal of a best friend/lover/and firsts with many things, leaving me. I threw out 95% of the pictures and letters from him and purged all my pictures off facebook to get the constant reminders out of my life.
Fast forward three years later and I still feel hung up on him. I've had two boyfriends since him and am currently in an 8 month relationship with a really great guy. But the guilt from knowing I still love someone else is starting to eat at me. I truly feel that my ex is my soulmate. When we were together I always had that feeling of overwhelming joy, love, and generally feeling content. It's like we shared a soul- the deepest feeling I've ever experienced with someone.
Now, since we have a ton of mutual friends on fb I see his pictures all the time with his new girlfriend and the two of them practically making out in their pictures. It's disgusting and makes me feel like shit.
I've looked into counseling for both the depression and getting over my ex, but I'm hoping reddit might have some tips for getting over someone significant.
TL;DR: | Can't get over longterm ex bf from 3 years ago. How do I get over the overwhelming pain of losing him? |
SUBREDDIT: r/BreakUps
TITLE: How am I supposed to be supportive in this situation?
POST: Really confused. Ex (29m) and I (23f) are currently still friends. Broke up about 2 weeks ago after a dumb argument and realizing that maybe we were too different.
I visited him on my birthday and he gave me a nice gift. Then we got to talking about our broken relationship and what we saw was wrong in it. It was a good talk and started to make us talk about "maybe we should think about if we would like to try again, but go very slowly this time." He told me the problems he had had with the relationship, and I told him the problems I had. One of them was regarding his anger issues and the fact he can become violent towards objects and break them. His answer was "well, I used to be a lot more violent over the past 8 years. It's gotten better." He has always assured me that he has never actually hit a person (but says he would not hesitate in beating up/killing his best friend who cheated on him with his old ex girlfriend.)
Tonight, he told me he was really depressed, and said he thought he would be happier if he had a job as a hitman. (??) I said why? His response was that he could just be distant and make a good income and be happier in life. When I presented the scenario of having to kill someone he cared about or knew, he said he thought he would be able to kill them anyway because he can become that emotionally detached.
I told him that was extremely unsettling to me, especially because of his bouts of (what I see as) surpressed emotions and anger that becomes violent.
His response towards my honesty was that I was disregarding the fact that he had become less violent over the years and that now his night went from bad to worse and he never should have talked to me about it at all.
How am I supposed to deal with this? I'm trying to be supportive and maintain our friendship, while also keeping in mind that we're both thinking about trying to rekindle a relationship and talking about it more. I'm so confused and I feel stupid asking for advice over stuff like this.
TL;DR: | Ex BF/friend says he's less violent now, I see otherwise, he says I'm ignoring the facts he gave me and is all mad at me now, how am I supposed to be supportive. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Reddit, I hurt someone who did nothing wrong to me and I don't feel bad over it. Does this make me a bad person?
POST: About a year ago my girlfriend (of five years) cheated on me. I forgave her, we moved past it, and had another happy year together. This year we broke up, she went overseas and got a new boyfriend. After 3 months, she came back and immediately cheated on him with me (we had been talking on Skype on a daily basis the whole time she was over there).
I sent the 'new' boyfriend a snarky email explaining his girlfriend had already cheated on him within 24 hours of getting off the plane. I did this ostensibly because I didn't like being cheated on and don't think it's fair for him to have that secret hanging over him. But really, I did it because I'm jealous and still want her all to myself. Apparently this has really hurt him and I don't feel even a little bit bad for it.
TL;DR: | My ex-gf that once cheated on me, cheated with me. I told her new bf. He is upset and I don't feel guilty. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My serious girlfriend [19 F] is pretty religious, and has different views on it than me [18 M]. Is this something that can be challenging long term?
POST: So like I said, she is pretty religious. She reads the bible from time to time and reads me quotes, she believes that our fate is pre-determined, and she believes in horoscopes. I don't. My own personal opinion is that I am in control of my future, and it isn't laid out for me. Where the planets and stars are do not impact my life at all, and I don't mind hearing quotes but sometimes I do think they're a little far fetched.
I'm not an atheist. I do believe in a form of higher power. Every religion except atheists, and I think agnostics, believe in some type of god, and whether these beings are in an unobservable dimension from us, or whether we can see them, I do think there's something else waiting for us. Or maybe I'm clinging on to a hope that when I die, I don't lose everything. I don't know. I just take life as it comes, and am not really involved much with religion.
We are serious and I love her very much. I'm sure we can make it work, but she takes religion very seriously and she wishes this was something we could agree on. When marriage comes, I feel like we should be a team and go to church together, and not have to worry about conflicting our kids. Is this a reasonable fear? Is anybody else in the same position? What did you do? I'm just scared this could be a problem later on.
It might not sound like a big deal, but as of right now, I not really looking forward to church and biblical quotes for the rest of my life. I can handle it, just wondering if theres similar experiences! Thanks for the read guys!
TL;DR: | I'm less religious (if you can call it that) than my girlfriend, and don't want it to cause problems later on. Not looking to offend religious people, I'm just expressing my own views. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Girlfriend [20F] and I [20M] have mismatched sex drives and are looking for a solution.
POST: My girlfriend and I are both 20 year old university students and have been dating for 11 months. This is a problem that has come up in the past but has just been dealt with quite passively. I would prefer to have sex every day (or even more) and she would prefer to have sex around once a week.
I try to not get disappointed when I get turned down, and I usually do a good job at dealing with it. However, sometimes it really gets to me, and it is apparent in the way I act. I end up getting annoyed with her for not wanting to have sex, and she ends up getting even more annoyed with me for wanting it so much.
Our sex life is usually better at times when my girlfriend isn't stressed or if it's the weekend and we're both drunk. The stress part is pretty rare because we are both in pretty demanding programs and that makes her stressed most of the time. I was told that she doesn't like to have sex during the weekdays because she is usually thinking about school (Which is understandable), whereas I always see opportunities to have sex during the weekdays.
My question is: Is there any solution to the problem we have? I will not consider ending the relationship, but I will take any other suggestions in terms of making compromises or anything else of the sort.
TL;DR: | Girlfriend wants sex once a week, I want it once a day. Is there any solution to our problem? What can I talk to her about in order to alleviate her annoyance with my sex drive? |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: What awesome/funny/thrilling stories have your parents told you about their past?
POST: My Dads story:
Back when my Dad was in college, he had a professor who smoked 3-4 cigarettes every day during class. One night, my Dad bought an identical pack of cigarettes but he hand sewed them all together. The next day, he replaced the real cigarettes with the gag cigarettes before the Prof. came into class. (He always kept a pack in his desk) Mid-lecture, the Professor went to pull out a cigarette and the whole chain of them came out of the box and he looked totally confused. Everyone laughed, including the professor. (And afterwards, my dad gave him back the real ones because he's a cool guy)
TL;DR: | My Dad sewed together a pack of cigarettes and used them as a gag to mock his professor's bad smoking habit, comedy ensued. |
SUBREDDIT: r/dating_advice
TITLE: I'm so confused, what exactly is this guys trying to get from me? [xpost r/relationship-advice]
POST: Alright, I hope I can sum this up properly.
So First I'm going to introduce you to C. I've known this man almost my whole life [We met when I was eleven or twelve, I'm 22 now] and for most of that time period I've had what started off as a crush and has definitely developed into something more serious over time.
Now, Ages ago I was forced out of my fathers home and lost all contact with him rather abruptly. A year later I get a call from him and he hunted me down so we could see each other again. Nothing happened romantically but it was so good to see him again. A couple years later he moves to another city six hours away and by this point I'm convinced he doesn't see me as anything even remotely girlfriend potential and I'm trying to see him as only a friend. He gets a girlfriend, I go through two relationships and we keep in contact.
Two years later [present time] they break up because she's moving to another country for a fair bit of time. He comes home...and asks me to come see him and if I'll stay the night, which is normal for us [and non sexual in any way]. But that night he confesses he's had feelings for me for a long time and would like to ask me out on a date when he moves back home full time in two months. I tell him I've felt the same way and I'd love to.
Three days later I go see him again before he leaves and he tells me "I'm un-available emotionally right now, but I am available sexually".
Wait, what? This is a guy who is always upfront about what he feels but this seems very confusing, at least to me. I don't want to ruin our friendship just to become fuck-buddies.
I never expected him to be ok for a relationship right away, but now I'm not sure if he even wants THAT. What do you all think?
[Hope I got the right sub-reddit this time]
TL;DR: | Oldest crush broke up with his gf of 2 yrs, asks me out, then says he's not available currently for anything emotional but is for sex. |
SUBREDDIT: r/jobs
TITLE: A huge mistake looking for a new job?
POST: Hello all,
I've recently finished a bachelors in education, only to find out that being in front of students 7+ hours per day wasn't my thing. The behavior issues, lack of student interest, and hours spent grading papers at home and after school left me demoralized. So I decided to save up money and I began studying web development/computer programming.
So where I am at now, I have quit my job and dedicated myself to learning computer programming full time (online). I have enough money saved up for ~5-6 months. I have about ~11 months experience programming.
I originally chose programming since it is in need, pays well, and I like problem solving. Now, I am starting to dislike programming. I get bored sitting at home all day programming. Some of it is fascinating, some of it I am just completely disinterested in. I'm not sure that I have enough experience to get a job either. I'm starting to think I went from having a $40k+ job (that I disliked), to being a newbie at another job that I might dislike just as much. To top that off, school has already begun, so I cannot teach this year (unless I substitute).
Sometimes I feel that I will simply hate every job that I have. I honestly feel terribly lost. I keep thinking that there is a job out there that will at least be marginally enjoyable, but I am not sure whether that is really the case. I don't know if I should continue programming and get a job there, suck it up and return to teaching, or keep looking for a completely different job.
TL;DR: | Quit a job I disliked, tried a new field, might dislike that field as well. Not sure what to do. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I[M20] like this girl in my class but i don't know what to do.
POST: The Situation: I am a junior in college. School started 6 weeks ago. First day of class i noticed her smile. Week #3 was when i first talked to her. On occasion, after class we talk about school, hw assignment, our weekend, and life, at least 5min. Now this is where things get a bit difficult.
Problem: I want to ask her out for lunch because i really like her and i want to get to know her better. The problem is that she might say no and then things will be awkward throughout the semester.
Her body language: 1. when class is over she always says goodbye(i do too) 2. she laughs and has a smile every time we talk 3. This one is important. When ever she is the first to leave class, she does not wait for me. She continues walking. When i am the first to leave class i wait for her.
TL;DR: | I want to ask this girl out for lunch but her mix body language and my fear of rejection is telling me otherwise. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: The neighborhood kids [middle school age?] keep playing in my [20F] driveway/on my car. New to neighborhood, how not to be the mean neighbor lady.
POST: I just moved into a new apartment (yay!). I'm running into trouble with the neighborhood kids. It's summer vacation so they are all playing in the street which is great. There are probably like 30 kids in this neighborhood and they are all friends and play together all day (brings back fond memories.) However I've recently learned they are playing in my driveway and leaning against/sitting on my car. (My downstairs neighbors told me, they are also having problems.) My downstairs neighbors have asked the kids to leave the cars alone when they see it happen but the kids tend to forget and are back again quickly after. It's a relatively low-income neighborhood and I understand that these kids don't have anything else to do because it's summer. I love that they're playing outside, I just don't want them on my car!
I think they are accustomed to playing in my driveway from before I moved in but how do I get them to stop without inciting revenge? (I don't want to be the mean old lady that they hate- I just want them to stop messing with my car!) I thought I was done with car drama moving into an apartment with a driveway but it might actually be worse than the street parking at my old place...
TL;DR: | I'm about to turn into the grumpy cartoon neighbor shouting "get off my lawn!" but really I just want to peacefully get my neighborhood kids to stop touching my car! Help! |
SUBREDDIT: r/dating_advice
TITLE: I'm terrible at breakups and need advice.
POST: I am terrible at breakups.
I usually get broken up with, for one reason or another. And I can **not. Move. On.** Even months after the fact I am still not over them, still think about them daily... and it doesn't matter if we went out 1 month or 6 months. I still carry on the relationship in my head or imagine us getting back together.
It's not until/unless they entirely cut me off/tell me off that I'm over them. I guess I'm "needy" or uncomfortable with endings. I feel like while I don't *need* someone to complete me, I feel deficient when I don't have someone, either in real life or in my mind- like I'm walking on a tight rope.
Can anyone help me out here, either by helping figure out what's wrong or tell me how to get over this?
TL;DR: | I usually get broken up with. Can't take it. Sometimes beg. Always cling to the hope that we'll get back together. How to stop this? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me (31M) in need of advice with a friend (27F)
POST: This is a throwaway acct because the person I am seeking advice about browses reddit.
I have known this girl for a few years now. We have been friends from the day we met, we enjoy playing video games together and talking almost everyday. We have a very complicated history, however. Ever since we've known each other she's been in an on and off relationship with another person. However, that do not stop emotions and feelings from developing between each other. Our feelings grew and eventually we met up. We never truly hooked up, but there was a fair bit of messing around. We had a long distance relationship for over a year, even though she lived with her boyfriend. Things got more complicated when he proposed to her and she said yes. And a year later hey got married. This was a few months ago.
We've still remained friends, however, recently I was able to visit her and we spent the day together and a lot of old feelings came back for the both of us. I gave her a massage when we got back to my hotel room, but didn't do anything else. We both wanted more but she kept saying she couldn't but we still ended up touching each other, but only briefly. I can tell she felt very bad about it and so did I. And I was very forward with my kissing.
I know that I should move on and suppress my feeling for her. I feel super guilty about what happened and I have apologized to her and asked for her forgiveness. I know I have done what I can and it is up to her to forgive me. I am just here seeking words from other people. I know I have done wrong, thank you for reading this.
TL;DR: | had relationship with girl who is now married, visited her and things happened between us, now I feel bad for how I acted. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [21/F] with my date [26/F] seeing each other for 2 months, don't know how to break up with her
POST: Been seeing this girl for two months, we live in different cities, and we had it all scheduled to see each other last sunday.
So, I went to see her in her city, and while I was waiting for her at the mall she messaged me saying she wasn't going anymore bc she was hungover. I was really pissed off and went back to my city.
After that, I didn't talk to her for 2 days. And she came to ask me if I was mad at her or something, so I was honest and said that the episode made me feel like an idiot.
She then tried put all the blame on me. Saying that I should have asked early if she was really going to meet me that day (it was already 12:30 pm, and we had it scheduled to 1:00 pm so I thought that she would be almost ready), things like that.
We didn't talk for like 2 days again. Then everything was "ok", and she is always on my back right now. I don't feel like seeing her anymore though and don't know how to tell her that.
Any help?
TL;DR: | been seeing the girl for 2 months, she acted like an idiot and now I don't know how to break up with her |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: new girlfriend cheated on me with ex.. need advice
POST: I (m 21) just started dating this girl (f 20) about a week ago and we had been hanging out a lot in the past month and I really like her and she makes me happy. The other night we went to a party together and she was very drunk and she ran into her ex (m 20)of a year and a half and they broke up a month ago. she hugged him and cried and I left them for a minute and came back and she was gone. the next morning I finally got back in contact with her and she said they just went for a walk and then she stayed at her cousins. eventually after some prodding she admitted she slept with him and that she felt like the worst person in he world and she was obviously very heartbroken. she says she initially lied to protect me. I really like her but I feel taken advantage of. once a cheater always a cheater, or is it partly because she tried to jump back into a relationship 3 weeks after a long relationship ended? I don't know whether to give her time to heal and see how she is in the future, or leave her in the past? I really liked this girl but I don't know what to do about this. she's been really overwhelmed with finals and EMT training and her childhood dog died and her sister is moving far away and obviously just ended a long relationship and recently started lexapro for her depression and anxiety. I don't know what to do.
TL;DR: | girl broke up with bf of year and a half a month ago, started officially dating her a week ago, she got drunk and cheated on me with him |
SUBREDDIT: r/dating_advice
TITLE: I [20/M] want to have a relationship with someone somewhat older [35/F]. My old fashioned mother [48] says it would be inappropriate but didn't say no. What do I do?
POST: Hi! So, I was looking for some advice. I (20/M) would like to start a relationship with an older woman (35). But my problem is that I currently live with my family and while my younger brother, (15) gives his support, my old fashioned mother (48) has told me that it would be inappropriate. But the clincher is that she hasn't said no. I can see why it may be a bit problematic, but the older woman and I have mutually strong feelings for each other. You see, she's told me that I make her feel safe, she's comfortable with me, and we have many common interests. About her, she is really kind, has a legendary sense of humor, is generally a good person and is utterly amazing. We both really want to do this and she has called me crying because she feels like my mom would judge her for her age and not give her a chance. But, she's met my mom and has said that it went quite well. (It went very well.) What do I do?
TL;DR: | An older woman (35/F) and I (20/M) want to begin a relationship but can't because my mom (48/F) has told me it would be inappropriate without saying no. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I'm [24 M] trying to decide when to propose to my boyfriend [26 M]
POST: My boyfriend and I have been together for nearly 6 years. My big reason for not doing this sooner is that we just recently were able to get married in our state. Now that we can get married, and we've been together for quite some time, I'm 100% sure I want to spend the rest of my life with him. We've even talked about it and more or less agreed we're getting married at some point. He still wants me to propose to him, though.
What I keep fighting with myself over, however, is just when to propose. We're in an odd position right now. We lived together for about 3 years, but recently moved out of our apartment and into different places to focus on finishing our respective degrees (my bachelors, his masters). We have about a 45 minute drive to see each other, but made it work when we first started dating. The distance doesn't bother me, but I'm unsure if I should propose if we're not living together.
It's going to be about a year and a half until we're both done with school, so it would be kind of a wait until we're living together again and even a little longer until we actually got married. I've read that an engagement can last as long as the couple needs it to, so that's not something I'm concerned about either. I suppose the big issue I'm caught up on is if I should propose if we're still living apart. Do you think that's a good idea, or should I wait until we're living together again?
TL;DR: | Want to propose to bf of 5 yrs. We currently live apart because we're both finishing degrees and won't live together again for a year and a half. Should I propose if we're not living together? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [27 M] with my wife [21F] of almost a year sometimes don't seem like a good fit. Can you truly love (or be in love with) someone you don't think is your soulmate?
POST: Like most couples we have our good days and bad days. And we've lived with each other for almost 2.5 years and i figured that true habit appearing period should have come and gone by now. But ever since maybe a few months after our marriage something started to not feel right. Well at least to me. All of our ideals and opinions became more and more polar opposites, we started feeling differently about things around the house and how to take care of our dogs. My sex drive is constant, hers almost non existant, etc.
The point is I once felt like we were soulmates but now I no longer do. Now, i still care for her and love her but sometimes it doesn't feel like that all inclusive love.
I was in the shower and the main question popped in my head. Can you truly love or be in love with someone you don't feel is your soulmate?
TL;DR: | wife and I starting to show more differences and I was wondering if you can truly love someone you don't believe is your soulmate. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Straight-F students of Reddit, is there something you wish a teacher would have done or said that might have sent you in a better direction?
POST: Background: I'm a music teacher at a middle school, and I have four sections of general music that I instruct daily. I've gotten to the point where I can handle the wild kids, in fact I'd actually rather deal with a chatty class than a lifeless one. But I haven't seen a kid like this: He sits there. And then he sits there some more. He does nothing else. I hand out papers to the class and while everyone else is working diligently, he stares at it blankly. He will write absolutely nothing, even when he sees that I am going around the room checking students' progress, or collecting the papers. Once he even fell asleep, to the point that it took three of us to wake him up.
I took some time to check into his background. He started out the year pretty average, and has gotten progressively worse as the year went on. He's now almost a straight-F student and I see that other teachers are seeing the same thing I am.
I asked him once if he was okay. He said yes. When I confronted him on his lack of participation he didn't really show any emotion. It's actually kind of disturbing to see, but me, being the eternal optimist, am not quite ready to write the kid off as deadweight. So I turn to the collective wisdom here. Were any of you in this kid's shoes in school? How do you feel about it now, looking back? Was there a teacher that you resonated with eventually that pulled you out of that death spiral? Or, was there one thing you were looking for that you never found? Maybe if I get some stories here I can find a new way to punch through the shield he has up that I haven't thought of.
TL;DR: | Teacher sees that student is a lifeless, straight-F chunk of flotsam. Looking for similar stories from Reddit to find some way to get him to respond positively. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [24F] with my friend? [23M] pretty recently, do I keep going or do I move on?
POST: So, I met this awesome guy, let's call him Josh. He's really cool and cute and we get along great. We talk a lot and get on good. We also do the odd sexual stuff, sexting, mostly, but other than that we just talk about life and everything.
Early on, Josh told me he was attracted and liked me (what guy doesn't say that, if sexy pictures might be in sight, lol) and I shared the same. We both agreed to go slow and let things just happen. That's fine with me, because there is no need to rush anything. However, he, sometimes, talks about or shows me girls he finds attractive and tells me about them. Nothing really graphic and not often, just that he thinks they're cute or something. It really didn't bug me, at first. I've done it a few times, too. I keep it to a minimum, though, out of respect. Hopefully, I haven't done it too much, so he thinks I don't like him anymore, but I don't think that's the case.
Lately, I've been thinking a bit about how he's really a great match for me, but still don't want to rush it, so I've completely stopped talking about other guys. He still brings up the odd girl, though, and I guess I get a bit jealous, though I have no actual reason to be, I know. However, I guess I am just worried if nothing is happening now, it's because he doesn't really like me, just likes the attention and odd sexual stuff we do, so I'm being used and will eventually get dropped when he finds someone else, which he will, because he is gorgeous.
I guess I'm just wondering, will Josh always see me as a friend or could it possibly move to something else? I know you guys can't read his mind, though. Has anyone had a relationship go from friends to something more, even though they had been telling you about people they are attracted to?
TL;DR: | I like a friend of mine, they know; could it ever possibly lead to more or should I just slowly close contact, so I don't get a case of unrequited like/love and be hurt when he finds someone? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [21M] would like to get back together with an old ex [21F]
POST: My ex-girlfriend and I used to date over a year ago. We dated for a year and a half, and broke up because of emotional stress (I was depressed, she was anxious, etc. Recently, we have been talking about getting back together. Both of us have matured a lot, and I think our relationship could work if we tried again. I suggested it initially. She has been hesitant to do anything, because we've become close friends, and she is unsure how to get back to a place where we are in a romantic relationship again. I agree with her in part - I don't know how to go back to being in a relationship without an awkward stage. As in, how do we transition from being very close friends to being in a relationship without having sex? I would like to know what I can do to make that transition smoothly having been in a relationship with her before.
In particular, she agreed to go on a date with me, and I'm hoping to use it to show her we *can* get back to where we were, but I don't know how.
Please ask me whatever questions that may help to clear up the situation between us.
TL;DR: | I was in a long-term relationship and would like to know how I can ease the transition back to being together since she is unsure about how we would make the change. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Ex's [30M] family keeps messaging with big news but doesn't know I [29F] broke up with him
POST: We went out for four years, knew each other for five. It was a LDR and everyone thought we were going to get married. His mom and sister know we broke up three weeks ago but the rest of his family doesn't. One messaged me two days ago to say I'm going to be an aunt, another just messaged me to say she is flying into my city tomorrow for a wedding and let's meet up.
What's the right etiquette? Do I tell them we broke up? Do I leave that to my ex and his family? Do I not bring it up? Do I bring it up? Do I meet up and/or respond?
TL;DR: | ex-bf's family overseas doesn't know I broke up with him but keeps messaging with major news/to meet up. What do I do? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: How do I stop the constant texts and drunk confessions of love by my friend?
POST: My guy friend (18) who I've known for about a year and a half has always had a bit of a crush on me. But during the span of our relationship he has texted me at all hours of the night and called me drunk at one in the morning swearing and saying how much he loves me. This makes me very uncomfortable. People say that I should just be thankful that someone has feelings for me, but I don't exactly see it that way. He has told me multiple times to break up with my boyfriend and date him instead. (My and my boyfriend did break up a few days ago due to an unrelated issue). But my friend doesn't have a lot of luck with girls; he's been let down before. I don't want to be another person who leads him on and then lets him down. However, he's always trying to get me to come over and get drunk with him, which isn't a very good idea since I'm only 16. And I just feel like this needs to stop, for both our sakes. How do I solve this problem?
TL;DR: | my friend is drunk dialing me and telling me he loves me, trying to get me out of relationships, advising me to drink with him, etc. How do I tell him nicely to stop? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [25/m] with my Girlfriend [25/F] of one year, had an almost threesome with a mutual friend while drunk. She doesn't know if she can get over it.
POST: This past weekend I was out drinking with my gf and a group of friends. We all got completely hammered and I ended up going back to my place with my girlfriend and one of our female friends that had nowhere to go. We all crashed in my bed and I started getting sexual with my girlfriend when she suggested a threesome. I was surprised but went along with it and ended up fingering and kissing the other girl along with my gf, from there my memory is hazy but I don't think any sex happened, we all ended up passing out. So the next morning I wake up to my girlfriend freaking out about this other naked girl in the bed and she does not remember anything. I had to explain everything to her and she was very upset saying that is not something that she would ever want. Now she is not sure what to do. I feel so guilty like I cheated on her and she doesn't know if she can get over this. We both love eachother but we want a healthy relationship and if she cannot get this out of her mind I know it wont be.
TL;DR: | Had a blackout threesome with gf. She is upset and doesn't know if she can ever forget about it. |
SUBREDDIT: r/pettyrevenge
TITLE: Give away our reservation? Lose business.
POST: Yesterday was my schools homecoming dance, and as people do, a group of my friends and I went out to get a ~~nice~~ decent meal. We called in an hour ahead to Olive Garden to get a reservation for our group of ten. They said it would be no problem getting us in. So we quickly snap a few more group pictures and then proceed to drive 45 minutes to the Olive Garden. We're right on time, 7:10. We walk in behind a group from another school. The hostess GAVE AWAY OUR RESERVATION. When we walked up to get our table, she rudely said we were too late and it would be another 50 minutes to get another table. We decide to drive to a Red Lobster that's 10 minutes away. We were greeted by a friendly hostess who was cheery and asked us about our homecoming. They got us a table in 20 minutes and we ended up having a great time, they got us our food quickly and even gave us some free shrimp. This is where things get petty, I decided to download Yelp to give each restaurant a review, Red Lobster a 5-star, Olive Garden a 1-star. Both restaurants only had around 20 reviews. My reviews made Red Lobster go from a 3 to a 3.5 and Olive Garden go from a 3.5 to a 3. So now, Red Lobster outranks Olive Garden. Take that, bitchy hostess.
TL;DR: | Was greeted by a rude hostess at Olive Garden, went to Red Lobster. Left reviews and made Red Lobster rank higher than Olive Garden. |