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SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: [M/30] Dating [F/36] is it wrong of me to take charge on what days my girlfriend and I have sex based on her fertility. (dont want kids, and she does not monitor herself).
POST: Kind of an awkward question to ask, but she has had kids, I do not want or plan on having kids any time soon (but not ready to get clipped).
She does not want to take birth control, and I use a condom every time. I even purchase spermicide which we have used as well. She likes to push the envelope and has pushed no condom, or even just dipping it a few times. I usually am against, but mistakes have happened.
These mistakes have caused 2 dropped pregnancies (which would have been completely unwanted). She has a fertility app on her phone, but does not always plug in her information, nor follow or stay away from her high risk days.
I have then since taken charge, downloaded a fertility app, and have decided to not have sex on her fertile week. She thinks this is unnecessary and could put a damper on our sex life. And I dont want a baby.
Is this fair for her?
TL;DR: | girlfriend does not take proper precautions, 2 failed pregnancies later I am now taking matters into my own hands, and removing sex from at least her most fertile days. Fair to her? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [F25] wonders how much affection people give to each other in relationships
POST: Hello,
I have recently broken up with someone. One of the big problems in our relationship was that my partner didn't give me as much affection as I needed. I was always very affectionate with him though.
I don't have much experience in relationships, this one was my first, and I'm really not sure how much affection people "normally" show to each other. I would like you to answer the question; how much affection do you receive from your partner (how often) and how much do you give?
Now, I know that there's no objective way to measure affection, so I would like you to consider those things:
How often the following happens; how often you initiate vs how often your partner initiates:
- hugs
- kisses
- cuddling
- use of cute pet names (honey, sweety, etc.)
- compliments
- other (please describe)
Also, some info about the relationship, e.g. live in / dating / long distance, length of relationship...
My relationship lasted 9 months and the last months were long distance...
I showed affection by
- using pet names everyday,
- said compliments about once a week,
- would text good morning or goodnight almost every day,
- and use emoticons that indicate affection almost every day.
My partner would
- compliment me once in several weeks,
- and use emoticons expressing affection once in several weeks.
TL;DR: | How often do you show affection to your partner, and how often your partner shows affection to you? I'll be grateful for replies!! |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [19 M] think i'm falling for a younger girl [16 F], advice here?
POST: Last night I was at a small party with a bunch of friends from my old high school (mostly 18 or 19), and there happened to be 3-4 girls of about 16 there (all of whom go to my old high school). There's one girl that was there that I talked with for hours, and slowly throughout that time I began to devlop feelings for her. I knew of her when I was in school (knew her through chess team) but we were never close. Since last night i've been talking to her on Facebook and texting her and all has been going well, really think I like her and it seems the feeling MAY be mutual, but part of me thinks it's crazy to want to date a girl that's 3 years younger than me and still in Year 11, when I graduated school nearly 2 years ago.
Any advice here?
TL;DR: | Have feelings for a girl 3 years younger than me who's still in high school, should I consider dating her or forget it? |
SUBREDDIT: r/offmychest
TITLE: I feel like my life has no sense
POST: Hi, well like the title says, its a bit sad or I don't know how to express it, I fell that way because I don't know why but everytime I feel happy or feeling a lot of joy, the things around me start to crumble, issues start to arise, a ton of bad things happen and it only stops or I notice that it stops when I start to feel a little bit sad or well, not happy, everything is going smoothly until I'm happy again, then I notice how the bad things start to rise again, I don't feel good and living its starting to feel awkward, I don't know why.
I just feel sad, don't know how I'm still continuing with living, maybe because I'm the kind of guys that never gives up, but sometimes I would like to simply surrender, let life take its course and simply let it consume me, feeling alone a lot of times, friends are almost none, no girlfriend. Sorry for the long text and thanks for reading.
TL;DR: | I feel sad and lonely almost all the time, no girlfriend, few to none friends, when I feel happy a lot of issues arise, got to feel bad for myself for everything go smoothly. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Reddit, do you have any inspirational survival stories that you can share?
POST: We just found out that my great aunt--a woman who is absolutely, completely beloved by our whole family--has a tumor in her brain the size of a fist. This has come completely out of left field. She said she was experiencing some numbness yesterday, so they admitted her to the hospital. After the MRI/CAT scan, the doctors said that they're stunned that she hasn't been in delirious, debilitating pain for a long time.
I just found out about all of this this morning. We don't yet know if the tumor is operable.
Losing this woman would be a huge blow to this family. She raised children of her own, and is still raising two high-school-aged children she adopted. She is just a lovely human being.
TL;DR: | My great aunt is in the hospital with a brain tumor. Can you share a story about someone important to you who survived an ordeal? |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Reddit, why is it so wrong to confront a customer if they're being rude?
POST: I'm tired of customers or patients (when I worked in a hospital) being rude to the workers. We are only here to help you. I just had a customer lie to my manager about something I supposedly told them This said statement would have never came out of my mouth. I would have loved to tell this customer, respectfully, that I would not have said such statement. She was lying to get her way. Customer probably went home thinking she pulled a fast one from lying, but all of us coworkers know that she was totally wrong. Why is it so wrong to confront someone when they're being an asshole? I don't get why we have to bow down to people when they are making us feel like shit, just to benefit from their $5 sale?
(patients may have a different situation in which I know it can be frustrating, but when i worked in the health care field, i did nothing with their care and couldn't help them even if wanted to)
TL;DR: | Why do we have to be all mighty and can't speak up for ourselves when someone is literally being an asshole. They know we can't be a bitch back and they're gonna win. Why can't we respectfully speak up? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My [22 M] 2-year long-distance relationship with my girlfriend [22 F] just ended. I don't want to get rid of her. I need help.
POST: My girlfriend just ended our 2-year relationship because she was atracted to another guy. I feel like she chose him over me and it hurts. A lot.
Just looking around the room I see just how much she was connected with my life. From my ringtone to pieces of jewelry to a paper otter she put together last time I visited her. It's everywhere and I don't want to get rid of it. But I need to. I think.
Even reddit. We would look at it together at night and almost race to submissions. My nights and days will never be the same and I just feel... hollow.
She was intertwined with so much of my life that to take her out of it would take so much with it. My voice hurts from screaming over the last few hours and I just... I don't know what to do.
TL;DR: | Girlfriend was prevalent in all aspects of my life. Left me for someone else. I don't know what to do. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I'm [19 M] afraid to ask out my [18 F] high school friend because it's already so late in the summer and we go to different universities
POST: So, for background- I am one year ahead of her in school, and I'm a rising college sophomore, whereas she just graduated from high school this year. We flirted quite a bit in high school, and I'm pretty damn sure she hinted at wanting me to ask her out, but I was always too scared to do it back then. I hadn't talked to her very frequently since I graduated, but today we hung out with a third, mutual high school friend and we flirted again the whole time, and I remembered how much I like her.
The thing is, at this point I'm not even afraid of being turned down anymore. I've had more relationship experience in college and I would be okay with rejection. What I'm afraid of is that she would say yes to a date, because we go to colleges in different states now, not close at all, and although I think she is an awesome person I don't want a long distance relationship for 8-9 months before the next summer. Not only that, but I already know that I'll be completely busy for 1.5 of the maybe 5 remaining weeks before we leave for our respective schools. So, I don't know- I feel like we both might feel worse off to know that we'd have to stop dating after practically just starting than if we never started.
TL;DR: | Is asking this girl out really worth it, given that I know it couldn't last more than a month, during which I won't even be completely free? |
SUBREDDIT: r/dating_advice
TITLE: (24M) Have a first date in a few days with (22F) and I'm infamously horrible at them.
POST: To start, I ended up matching with this girl via tinder. We chatted for a little bit and I asked her out and gave her my number. She texted me the following morning to make plans and we are going to meet up for a drink and get to know each other. It was also reassuring that she was referring to the meet up as a date as well, so it seems like we're on the same page. We texted throughout the day and got to know each other a little bit, joked around, and shared some funny YouTube videos with each other. She is really dorky too, which is a quality that I really like and definitely has me all the more attracted to her.
All this being said, I'm feeling anxious about the next few days leading up to the date as well as the first date itself. It's been well over a year since I've last went on a date and it ended with her not contacting me again which has happened plenty of times before. What would be the best course of action here for texting and also to make sure that this will be a good first date? She is a really cool and nice person who seems like she has the same priorities as I do with dating. I just don't want to screw this up.
TL;DR: | Met a girl on tinder. We set up a date for next week. I don't want to blow it. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: [20/m] Don't know what to do about this guy (25/m)
POST: So I met this guy around a month, month and a half ago, and for the first few weeks we would get together almost every night it seems and have sex. I've been recently accepting the fact that I'm gay and he is the first guy I've felt really comfortable with. We hung out a lot and whatnot and I felt like we were making a connection. One day I have a mishap with my father (whom I recently had to move back in with) and he kicked me out of the house. The same day I came out to my sister, and later told this guy that I told my sister I had a "boyfriend". Ever since then he has been going through some shit of his own, getting sick and whatnot, and he had been really distant. We haven't had sex in over a week, and text for five minutes a day and then don't speak. He told me he wasn't ready for a relationship because he "needed to get his head above water" and I accepted it. But I miss him, and what we used to have. I kinda sent him a rude message today because I've been trying to hang out with him and he's always "busy". So I really don't know what to do. Should I let things just mull over and hope for the best or do something about it?
I think I'm especially distraught about the situation because I feel like in rough times, being in a relationship means you have someone by your side to help you through it, and as soon as he started to get sick/miss work he told me he couldn't have a relationship. I know that all I've wanted the past week is the comfort of my new friend.
TL;DR: | First guy I've ever liked like this, and I may have called him my bf too soon because now we hardly talk and never see each other and i'm not sure what to do/think. |
SUBREDDIT: r/personalfinance
TITLE: Rent vs Buy when I only plan to own the house for 2 years
POST: I'm getting married soon and would like to plan for our first home together- one without roommates. We currently live separately and will remain this way until we're married. She owns her home, but is content selling or renting out the space. I'd like to avoid planning to move into her home as it is around 85 miles (An hour and a half) each way to work from that location. I love my work, company, culture, and career opportunities with this company and switching jobs is out of the question. Working from home or remotely isn't an option with my job. The wedding is in about 6 months.
We plan to move to a different spot on the country once I'm fully vested and she's finished with her degree in just about 2 years. With that in mind, I see my options as the following:
* Move into my own apartment where she can move into once we're married.
* Purchase a home
Both of us prefer homes over apartments and I'd like to live in a space without a roommate ASAP. With this: Is there any instance when owning a house for 2 years makes sense? I'd be purchasing in the suburbs outside of Philly (NJ side). I have cash to be able to make a 10% down payment available. No debts, maxed out Roth IRA, 12% + 3% company match 401k, and an emergency fund that wouldn't be touched.
I've read [this] post by /u/keevenowski which helped identify the costs. I'm looking specifically at advice on selling after just 2 years.
TL;DR: | I feel like I'm throwing money away by renting and don't want to rent while married. I have the urge to buy a home, but plan to move in 2 years. What costs do I have to keep in mind? |
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU by turning it off and on again.
POST: So recently I started volunteering for a local charity. I'm one of those brilliantly individual on the border between Gen Y and Millennials, and that makes me the youngest there. It also apparently means I was born with technology in my veins, according to some.
Skip ahead a few months and they're blown away by my outstanding skills [read: I can google things] and ask me to upgrade their network.
I'm like "sure, no worries". New router. New APs. Easy. I obtain the products and wait 6 hours for the last client to leave so I can change it over. Unfortunately the new router doesn't want to play. So I plug the old one in and figure I'll leave the old system set up and troubleshoot tomorrow.
Nope.
Old router was being a pain. Wouldn't communicate properly with ISP. My language was foul. Here's my fuck up.
I turned the router off. But I didn't just turn it off, apparently I hard reset it. Now I'm stuck trying to explain the the Exec Director what an ISP is and what the 'login details ' I'm asking for actually are. After an hour we make progress and I have the details. But it still won't communicate. So I follow the troubleshoot which asks me to hard reset.
The mother fucking chip fries. I'm left with a dead hunk of plastic that isn't even heavy enough to use as a doorstop, and still no internet.
After 12 hours of panic and temporary measures, it turns out the ISP was to blame, and nothing on my end was ever going to help. So I fried a router for nothing.
TL;DR: | I fried a router trying to turn off and on again. Turns out the problem wasn't at my end of the line. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [30 F] really want to start having children with my husband [30 M] of 1.5 years (together for 7.5), but he is not ready. What do I do?
POST: Hello all. Thanks for taking a look here.
My husband and I are both 30, we'll be 31 this year. My main goal in life is to have children and a family. My husband knows this and we discussed it at length before getting married.
I want to start having children now, while we're both young enough to run around after them and enjoy caring for little ones. He thinks we are not ready. (Financially, I know no one is really ever ready to add that burden. However, we just moved so I could get a better job, and we're comfortably off with just my income. Maturity... well I mean of course we're both immature in some ways, but not in the way that would be detrimental to a child. Support wise, he is home alone right now and we would have no need for child care.)
I know that the chances of having a healthy child decrease with age, and I know that I won't be spry enough to care for little ones when I'm nearing 40.
I'm not saying I want to force him into having kids... (Maybe I am... hmm), but I want to talk seriously about it and he just seems to blow it off.
Honestly, we have VERY few problems in our relationship. We work great together and don't fight. There's nothing to fight about. Even this, which is a huge deal to me, I don't want to fight about. I just want to make him see my perspective and try to get him to commit to a time frame where we can start having children.
TL;DR: | I want kids badly and my husband thinks we're not ready, despite sound finances, health care and child care potential. How do I start this discussion and make him take it seriously. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My[25m] GF [25/F] of over 5 years is on her phone the majority of our time together and i fear she may be cheating on me.
POST: So my gf loves being on her phone and always has. She's really into social media and i'm not. She's had an instagram account for years and i recently acquired one. While looking on her page i noticed she frequently comments on certain guys pictures about how good looking they maybe or whatever and it really bothers me. The thing that bothers me the most is we had a talk a few years ago about certain guys that were clearly into her and I asked if she would please stop communicating with them in any way. The problem is that she did not stop communicating with them. There are 3 guys that i know and she knows are into her but she pretty much ignored my request and kept talking to them via social media. Is she in the wrong?? or am I being too insecure. Seeing her posts on other guys pics makes me feel so shitty.
TL;DR: | Gf super into social media and communicates with guys we both know are interested in her even though I had asked her to stop. Am i just insecure or is there an actual problem here? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I (f/24) recently lost weight, and now I'm not sure I want to have kids.
POST: I apologize for any grammar mistakes. I'm posting from my mobile.
I have always been overweight. It runs in my family and I lacked motivation to do anything about it. I lacked self esteem, and I wasn't proud of my body. I got married a couple years ago, and my husband tells me I'm beautiful all the time. I just didn't feel it though, because of my weight and lack of confidence.
Last year, something just clicked and I was finally sick and tired of looking and feeling like crap! I was tired of my content mindset that being overweight was going to be my life. I was just done. I started exercising everyday, cut down my calorie intake dramatically, and lost over 40 pounds. There is still more I want to lose but I can tell you that I have never felt more more alive! I feel amazing. I feel confident, sexy... Just happy overall.
Now here is the hard part. We don't have any kids yet, but my husband wants to have kids soon. I thought I did too... But then I started losing weight and I'm finally getting the body I always wanted. I've never had this much confidence and I'm worried that having a baby would just ruin my body. I don't want to have loose skin, or saggy boobs. I worked really hard to feel as good as I do now. I've talked about adoption before to my husband but he wants that to happen only if we absolutely can't have kids on our own. I definitely see where he is coming from, especially cause we always talked about having kids. Now I'm just not sure. Am I being too selfish?
TL;DR: | Recently lost weight and I feel better than ever. Husband wants kids, but I don't want to ruin the body I'm finally starting to be happy with. Am I selfish? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [17m] am having some serious issues with myself and my [15f] friend.
POST: I am 17, but only for about another month. My friend turned 15 a few weeks ago. We've been friends all throughout this first semester. I think she has a crush on me. No issue right? But then we started texting and I made the stupid ass choice to flirt with her and lead her on. I think she's cute, but the age difference, almost 3 years, makes me a little uncomfortable. I'Ve never been in a relationship before and I feel like I would be taking advantage of her. She is somewhat mature, but I'm a senior with a semester left and she's a freshman. I want to be in a happy, stable relationship. Physicality is secondary. I don't know what to do. I don't want to hurt her. I don't want to be that guy that everyone thinks is taking advantage of an innocent girl.
TL;DR: | My freshman friend has a crush on me and I encouraged it And now regret it. 3 year Age difference has me feeling like a pedder ass. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [21 M]with my coworker [20 F] who over the last two days has admitted to finding me attractive and wants to sleep with me.
POST: So I started a new job about three months back when I met this Girl "Ally" so Ally and I had been getting along pretty well but she was with this guy "Casey" who she mothered a child with. She broke up with him becuase he was not treating her right and not prioritizing thier child.
So after Ally breaks up with Casey, another coworker "Hanna" expressed interest in Ally and they hooked up in a Hanna took care of Ally but it was not returned. Two days ago Ally lets Hanna know that she doesnt want anything serious with her.
So here we are, Ally now wants to sleep with me, but for w/e reason when I think about the act, I get anxiety about it, I'm not a virgin, and I'm not worried about anything going wrong, but I just don't know what to do, I don't believe she wants a relationship and I don't know if I want one with her, but I think too highly of her to use her as a tool to get me off.
Key:
Ally- Interest
Casey- Ally's X, Father of her child
Hanna- Fooled around with Ally, backed off when Ally said she would never feel the same.
TL;DR: | Girl I am probably crushing on, wants to have awesome kinky sex and, given her history with my coworker and child with previous person,I don't know what to do. |
SUBREDDIT: r/jobs
TITLE: How do I address my job hopping in my cover letter? (Sorry if this has already been answered)
POST: I'm fairly young (25). I had a professional-level but part time job in a public library for 3.5 years (mostly while still in college), and for the last 18 months of that did contract work in small libraries to supplement my income. In March 2012, I started a full-time job in an academic library. I was incredibly bored, started to get depressed in my mindless boredom, and moved out of state to a full-time position in a public library in September 2012. I started work on a Master in Library Science at that time as well (as it was the only way to advance my career in libraries), which is part of what helped me land the new public library position.
Now I'm discovering that I do not want to be a librarian. I loved what I got to do at the first library (built a social media presence, organized marketing initiatives, did a lot of work on a website redesign, did event planning and program development, and did community work/community building) - and I've loved the moments when I've gotten to do those things in the jobs that followed. But two semesters into the degree, I realize that I just can't make myself care about the rest of the profession. So much of it feels stubbornly dated and needlessly academic, and too little of it is reaching out into the community. Plus, I'm good at marketing/writing/social media stuff. We did work in that first library that got recognized by organizations all over the country, and I was basically just making it up as I went along. I did my research and was very careful, of course, but I did it without a marketing supervisor or mentor who had done such things before. I'm proud of that, and I really enjoyed it, and I want to see if I can do it again.
So I've decided to start looking again, in the state I moved away from in September. I'm worried that potential employers will look at my job history and dismiss me out of hand. How can I address that in cover letters?
TL;DR: | I've discovered that the reason I've been job hopping is that I'm not in the right field for me. How do I address my brief employments with my last two employers in a cover letter and in interviews? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: [15/M] Girl's (15/F) strict parents make it hard to pursue a relationship, should I stay or should I go?
POST: (Repost because I kinda need a bit more input from others, I'm getting mixed messages from everyone in my life about this, so a repost can't hurt)
So a few months ago, a girl that I had had a flame for for about a year told me she was interested in me. Normally I'm ok with getting into relationships, but the problem with her is that her parents are incredibly strict on her dating. So for the past few months we've talked more, and gotten to know each other, but have never acted on any feelings. I'm completely fine with waiting until she's comfortable with dating, but it seems that she is either losing interest, or playing sort of hard to get in a sense. She quite often ignores me to see if I am persistent and strike up a conversation with her, or she'll get touchy in a sort of possessive way with friends that I'm close with. On the contrary, when I do the same, she seemingly overcompensates, and is rather watchful of me when I'm around her, and messages more often if I play 'hard to get.' All in all, our relationship is frustrating, as I don't know if I should move on, or continue to wait for her indefinitely. As far as advice, I want to figure out if I should move on for the time being, and pursue other relationships, or wait for her to be comfortable with entering a relationship. If I do end up pursuing another relationship, what is the best way to go about transitioning from her to someone else, focus wise? If I stay with her indefinitely, will I be wasting my high school dating opportunities with others? And I stay with her, and it doesn't work out, what do I do? How can I avoid putting all my eggs in one basket?
TL;DR: | A girl I like plays hard to get, I do the same, our relationship is unproductive, she can't date because of her strict parents, should I stay or should I go, I'm stressed. |
SUBREDDIT: r/personalfinance
TITLE: Upside down car loan advice
POST: First time posting on PF so forgive me if there are any discrepancies within this post. I have a 2014 Mustang that i financed and currently owe $22,000 on. KBB.com is showing only 18,000 for a personal sale so that would leave me 4,000 to pay back. My payments are $417 a month for 6 years. I have found out that I am going to be a father soon and would like something more safe, possibly a truck because I do moving as a side business and have since just rented what I needed. What are my options for selling or trade ins when it comes to this? Can I transfer the loan directly to somebody else that wants to take ownership of it? Does that affect me negatively in any way? Any advice would be greatly appreciated.
TL;DR: | I owe more money than my car is worth, what are my options for a new car considering my current loan situation? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I'm [21/M] and have never been in a relationship, repeating trend of one-night-stands and/or friend zone. More info in text, REALLY need advice…
POST: So like I said I have never been in a long-term relationship, for some reason it has never just happened for me. Granted I don't go out and date that much, but it just seems for all my friends it happens with little to no effort in the dating spectrum. It's not like I have absolutely nothing going for me, I do get laid infrequently but mainly one night stands, and I have trouble turning those one night stands into anything more than that.
So I have noticed a trend recently, and I am starting to suggest that maybe it has more to do with me than the women I fall for. I have only really wanted to seriously date three women, all of whom share similar personality traits. But each time this scenario goes down, and has just happened again last night.
1: Meet cute girl
2: Begin hanging out, getting lunch, not dates, just lunch
3: Hanging out a lot more often, alone at house, talking a lot
4: Notice that she is hitting me up more often then I hit her up
5: Subtle sexual tension, fooling around, nothing more than making out
6: And here comes the friend zone, "I like you so much as a person, I love being around you", "I don't want to lose you as a friend", "You're so important in my life, and to me", you get the idea.
What I am trying to find out is why does this continue to happen to me. I am now on the third time, in three years, that I have had this cycle with a girl that I am very attracted to. The worst part about this time is that I work with this girl, AND she has a boyfriend. She told me last night she does have a crush on me, but also gave me whole spiel on #6.
Any help would be much appreciated, this is my first post here so we'll see how this goes.
TL;DR: | I keep ending up either in the friend zone with girls I really like, or a one night stand with girls I'm interested in. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Why is it so hard for me [21F] to breakup with SO [24M] even when I have a strong feeling things aren't right?
POST: So the thread outlining all of the details of why I'm unhappy with our relationship is [here]
We've talked today (on our one year anniversary yay) and I admitted to being unhappy to him. He told me "If you're so unhappy, break up with me." But for some reason, it's harder than what I expected. He's my first boyfriend. But I don't think it has anything to do with that. I hate disappointing people and always have. Could this be it?
In the very young stages of our relationship, we often talked about how we were so perfect for each other. Now I really doubt it.
What can I do to work up the courage to break free? What is holding me back? How can I approach it? I do love the guy but I don't think he's for me. Is that a fair answer?
TL;DR: | In an unhappy relationship but for some reason can't seem to break away even if the opportunity is right in front of my face. What can I do? How have others handled this in the past? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [22 M] broke up with my gf [20 F] over fear of losing my job. Need advice to see if I made the right choice.
POST: I am a deputy for a small town in the southwest. About a month ago I broke up with my girlfriend after being told by my boss that they were going to fire me because dating her shows a lack of judgement.
A little back story to how we met is that her ex was abusive and they broke it off. About 2 weeks after they broke up she contacted me on facebook and we started chatting. She knows me because she use to be friends with my sister. After a week of talking we meet up and have a date and from there on we would get together just about every other day. We just clicked. She also has a child who is about 3 months old.
The problem is that her past is a little rough. She has been arrested by the department I work for before for misdemeanors such as breaking a window and assault. No drug related offenses.
After about two months word spreads around the small town that we are seeing each other. I get a call from my boss the sheriff who tells me that she is crazy and is going to get me into trouble if I continue to see her. I just told him I would take that into consideration and left. About another week goes when he takes me aside and tells me that if I continue to see her that they will fire me for lack of judgement.
The thing is I really believe that I love this girl. I know that she feels the same, but this job is my lively hood. I can't afford to lose this job right now. I also won't be able to apply for another department for at least another year.
After being told I could lose my job I called her told her that we can no longer see each other or talk to each other ever again. I never told her about what the sheriff said. I haven't spoken to her since.
I just want to know if I did the right thing. I do love her and it has been a hard month not being able to talk to her. What do ya'll think?
TL;DR: | I broke up with my girlfriend of 3 months after concerns of losing my job as a cop. Girlfriend has some run in with the department, but it was before I started working here. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Do you have a smartass move from the past that now you feel bad about?
POST: During university I had to do an internship for a lousy self-proclaimed SEO that basically used me as a free spambot for his site. He didn't really have anything more for me to do, so I generally ended my work in a hour and a half, only to wait three more hours staring at a blank screen before I could go home.
It was my first experience similar to a job and I needed to do it to graduate, so at first I was very rule-abiding and strict and I never used my free time to browse facebook or things like that. However after a while I couldn't stand the idea of wasting so much time doing nothing or, worse, spamming.
The final straw came when I realized that at one point he even had started monitoring me with a software. I wasn't 100% sure about it, but from a moment on he started appearing in the room I worked the exact time when I ended my spam-routine just to boast about his site and his Google knowledge.
I wanted to prove it but I didn't want to be rebuked, so I had to trap him in his own game. I started thinking and then I realized that he previously owned the laptop on which I had to work on, so I immediately did the most obvious file research I could do: *.avi
Without effort I found at least two porn movies in different buried folders: I proceeded to email myself a screenshot and then to play a nasty porn flick on the laptop with the speakers muted.
A millisecond after that I heard him walking in the corridor, so I shut the window. He appeared in my room, stared at me and told just this: "You scare me". I then answered as naively as I could "Well, why?". He went back to his office.
The next day he moved my workplace in his office. We never talked about what happened, and at first I was exhilarated, but after a couple of years I still feel bad about what I did (but not so much, since he gave me a pc he used to jack off).
TL;DR: | I realized my boss had started monitoring with a software the pc I worked from. He had previously owned that laptop, so I played fullscreen a porn movie he left on the drive to tell him to fuck off |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [28f] Need advice - bf[30m] has out of town child...
POST: Whom he visits once/month. That's fine. My problem is, he stays with his ex when he visits. He doesn't know anyone else in that town, and he can't afford a hotel 3 nights each month. I can't help but feel jealous and imagine the worst case scenario. The child is very young, so it will be years until he can travel separately from his mother, so she comes here with him occasionally to visit too. He spends every holiday at his ex's home, and has said that he'll never be able to travel with me, as he uses all of his vacation time to go visit his child.
I'm trying to deal with the jealousy aspect, knowing he'll be spending Christmas morning with his ex and their child in a few months. I'm trying to be okay with knowing his ex will always be involved in our lives. I'm struggling with wondering how this could possibly work in 5 years, when he has to choose between me (and he wants kids, so let's count them here too), or his ex and son. Things like birthdays, holidays, family vacations. Eventually he'll have to choose. We've been dating a relatively short time (3 mos), and I'm trying to sort through some of this before it becomes more serious. I am going to speak with him about the concerns I have, but I want to make sure I go in to that discussion with the right attitude and ideas.
It might be a long shot, but I would really appreciate any input or advice you may have, especially if anybody out there has been in a similar situation.
TL;DR: | bf has child out of town, stays with ex when visiting, I'm wondering how this could work long-term. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: I gave a homeless lady five dollars to grab my bag from a crowd of people I completely made of a fool of myself in front of... Another two to watch my bike... What's reddit's beggar story?
POST: So if it really makes a difference. I went to 16th and Mission last night to speak and it was going great, I even went up and with all the jitters I had was doing a great job. But then I froze. I cracked and wanted to read something I wrote that turned me off from my experience to the point where a veteran attender yelled: "LOADING!?"
I've never felt so worthless. I did it to myself. The girl who went up after me completely tore into me and did great and I freaked out and walked in the circle yelling "she's killing me" "I'm dying..." I was mocked. Called "the man on the moon" a "lunatic" an idiot at probably the most peaceful events I've been.
TL;DR: | The lady who grabbed my bag got me contact high off of crack and I don't even feel real. Sorry 16th/Mission. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: How long will a guy [30 M] wait to text/call after a 2nd date if he likes me/wants a 3rd date? [Me: 39 F]
POST: Burner account. Thanks in advance for your wisdom, Redditors.
I met "Jake" at a museum lecture last Tuesday and we hit it off, had dinner that night and talked for hours. He texted within minutes of getting home that night, and asked to see me on Sunday. He was pretty chatty via text between Tuesday and Sunday.
Sunday we meet for dinner and take like a 2 hour walk, talk about books, love, life, and he asks me really detailed questions about my attitudes toward marriage, past relationships, my parents, etc. We make out (1st base). Then... nothing.
It's only been 24 hours, but is it not the case that a guy who is really keen on a girl will text right away, you know, to cockblock any other guy who might be after her? Not to mention the fact that he previously was a heavy texter. Has he lost interest, or is this a deliberate waiting game to play it cool. And if so, why now after our 2nd meeting?
TL;DR: | Previously very text-chatty guy has not texted after our 2nd date. Has he lost interest or is this him playing it cool? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [25 M] with my girlfriend [25 F] of 8 months, bothered with her "never" texting (back) or calling - am I being needy?
POST: She's my first girlfriend and I love her very much. We live in separate cities and both have very busy lives (work, evening classes, ...), so we usually see other in the weekends or text/call during the week. We've been friends for a long time before we started dating. She's always been a very "bad" texter - "bad" meaning she's usually hard to reach and slow to respond. She has that reputation with all our friends.
But now we're together and nothing really changed. Usually I'm the one sending the first text or calling her. Usually she responds within about an hour or two, sometimes within minutes, sometimes never. Of course I understand she can be busy, especially during the day. Heck, I'm glad she doesn't expect us to text each other constantly when we both have work to do. But when the day is over... is it that unreasonable to feel bad when she isn't texting back at all? When she's posting status updates on Facebook and talking with other people, clearly not busy at all, but not bothering to take a minute to send a quick text back?
It's seriously annoying to always be the one opening conversations. I feel a lot more invested in the relationship than she seems. I sometimes feel manipulated, as if she's playing emotional mind games with me - even though I have no hard evidence for it. She definitely likes to be in control of things and she knows this herself... But the ego games really bother me. On the other hand, I feel extremely needy when I complain about it or even consider leaving her for such a silly thing. So I'm not sure how to handle this and asking for your advice/experience.
TL;DR: | Just asking general advice on how to deal with one-sided text communication. What would you do when you're usually the one texting/calling first and your SO frequently ignores your texts? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [21F] with my ex boyfriend [21M] of 2 years, struggling to move on after 2 months
POST: I met my boyfriend online. The first year and a half of our relationship was the happiest time of my life to date. I couldn't fault our relationship - in my mind he was "perfect".
In the last 6 months of our relationship he was stressed out about work and some bad family news he'd gotten. I barely saw him, he was cold with his replies and never initiated conversation. He told me he just needed time alone. This happened on three occasions, each lasting about three weeks. He put it down to stress and things returned to normal in between.
He finally broke up with me saying that he had depression. That he needed time by himself to sort things out and he couldn't be in a relationship while he was doing that. He made it clear that as supportive as I was, he wasn't in the headspace to be with anyone at that time. I told him that I'd always be here for him if he needs any help or to talk and that I'd talk to him when he'd worked on himself. I honoured his need for space and time alone and started NC straight away.
2 weeks after we broke up, he got back with his ex. Myself and his ex have a mutual friend and she let it slip. Even though I know he's my ex now and he can do what he likes, it still hurts. Did the 2 years mean nothing to him? Did he lie about having depression as an easy way out? What does his ex have that I don't?
I'm struggling to move on. It's been 2 months. I still think about him all the time. I've gone no contact, started going to the gym more, tried to keep myself busy and hang out with my friends. I keep hoping that I'll see a text from him on my phone saying he made a mistake.
I keep remembering the good things about him and wonder how I'll ever find someone as good as him. How can I move on?
TL;DR: | Struggling to move on after ex broke up with me because of depression and then got back with his ex 2 weeks later |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I (25/m) have been in a new area for a year now, and haven't made any friends. What's the best way to spend the next 6 months friendless, before I head back home?
POST: I am 25 years old, and I moved to a new area a year ago. Its a great opportunity for my career, lots of good work, connections through my job, etc. Now I'm at my year mark, and I still haven't made any friends, and it's really gotten me down. I live alone, so I can go entire weekends or more without really talking to anyone.
I've tried Meetup.com, through work, local concerts, community events, coffee shops, parks. I'm just not the type of person who is able to connect with people. If I was here indefinitely, I would find a better way to solve it. But now I have only 6 months here left, before I am able to go back to my home state, where I do have a lot of friends still.
But the lack of friends has still gotten me really down and lonely at times. Whats the best way I can get through this half a year without going completely off of it? I can only focus on my hobbies so much, put so much time into work and studying, before I feel like I need to hang out with someone. But after trying so many things for a year, and not enough time left to make any meaningful connections, I'm not really sure what to do...
TL;DR: | Been in a new area for a year now, and as much as I've tried, I haven't made a single friend. I only have 6 months left, how can I spend it alone without being too lonely and depressed. |
SUBREDDIT: r/personalfinance
TITLE: 2015 Tax Return has not been deposited, Bank says they never got it, cannot get anyone from IRS on the phone to ask.
POST: Double checked return to make sure the direct deposit info was right, it was. Thoughts?
TL;DR: | Filed my return back in early Feb, it was accepted, refund was supposed to be deposited on 3/12, it wasn't, Bank says its IRS fault but cannot even get anyone from IRS on phone to ask |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [25/M] had a bad dream about a friend[22/F] that really upset me.
POST: I had a dream where one of my close friends died and I was so overwhelmed by sadness, mainly because of things that I never got to tell her. I used to have a crush on her and I did confess to her two years ago. She then told me that she was actually in the closet and wasn't attracted to men.
After the dream I've had an urge to tell her that I love her(not in a romantic way, but in a friendship way. And that I really appreciate her being in my life. Though I know social norms it's frowned upon saying I love you to someone that isn't an SO.
Should I tell her?
TL;DR: | I had a dream that my friend died and I didn't get to say the thing that I wanted to. Should I still say it even though it may be awkward? |
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU and Broke BOTH My Big Toes While Creating Art
POST: This is how I started my Saturday morning... I'm an artist working on a large commission project on a tight deadline. I was finishing up a painting which is mounted to a board that's about 4' x 2'. While the glue I used for mounting the art was drying overnight I laid the piece on the cement basement floor with bricks under it.
The next morning, I went downstairs to admire my work, and hoisted up the art board to lay it on a table. Just as it was about shoulder height, I simultaneously heard a "thunk" and my big toes were in "swear your brains out pain." I looked down and one of the bricks that my art had been resting on was lying on top of my big toes. Worst. Pain. In. My. Life.
The brick had stuck to the back of the board, fallen off the board at shoulder height and landed on both my big toenails. Of course, being a Saturday morning, I wasn't dressed yet so had to put pants on over my damaged toes and get to the doctor. After an hour of intense pain and x-rays, I have a diagnosis of 2 broken toes, black toenails and orthopedic boots on both feet until the breaks heal.
Now I have to explain to my clients that I can't meet with them for the next 2 weeks because I broke the toes on both my feet making art.
TL;DR: | Making art can be dangerous. Freak accident happened when a brick fell off the back of my painting and broke the big toes on both my feet. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Nice girl (25f) finishes last? Now, do I next this guy(28m) or try to win him over?
POST: I have been rooming with a shy, introverted guyfriend "Arlo" for about 3 weeks now. I liked him as more than just friends since before I moved in. Nonetheless, I am introverted, too & I planned to wait until I move out before I asked him to "date" (whatever that means these days).
I found a fabulous new place, and I'm now searching for a roommate. Enter: Extroverted "Amy" who I later learn has a long-standing unrequited crush on Arlo.
I try to take the high road and gauge her interest in him before moving in. At the time, she expressed only nominal interest. So, being the honest & upfront person I am, I innocently informed Amy I planned to ask Arlo out soon. Now, I realize this was a dumb move, but I had no idea she'd pounce.
Of course Amy asked introverted Arlo out within a day of me spilling my guts to her. I believe she would not have moved so quickly, if I hadn't told her that I was interested.
Arlo tells me he was oblivious to my attraction to him, but he would've been interested in me had he known. What now? Should I slink away quietly in typical introverted fashion to preserve our great friendship? Or should I try to give this guy a chance? What do I say & how do I act either way?
TL;DR: | I told the "other extroverted woman" I was going to ask my shy guy out. She pounced! Now, do I next this guy, or try to win him over? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: The guy (M27) I'm (F23) dating hasn't been in many relationships and doesn't often get to meet new people. How do we work on his "getting to know me" skills?
POST: He talks to me like he's known me for quite a while, which is great, except he doesn't really show interest in my life because of it. He's a really sweet person, very driven, and I think he's worth my time. We just need to work on his ability to show he's actually curious about me (he's really open, and will listen when I talk, he just doesn't really ask questions or show curiosity on his own). He also is kind of self conscious in bed because he's only been with a couple women long-term and I'm pretty difficult to get off. Any suggestions?
TL;DR: | The guy I'm dating hasn't had to get to know anyone new in a while; including women. How do we work on his relationship skills? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I(21M) cannot read this girl's(19F) signals. She has a boyfriend but keeps on doing this.
POST: Hey guys. Recently, I got to know this girl in one of my classes. She's great. We get each other's humor, joke around, flirt, etc. I catch her looking at me all the time, and when I see her, she looks away. From previous experience, that was a decent signal with other girls. When talking to her, she always touches me, whether on the chest, hands, or like a playful push. And she always comes up to me and puts her hand on my face/cheek. We're always messing around and smiling a bunch. Another girl in my class pointed out that we always flirt, and that I should ask her out.
I like her and thought those were decent signals, and I thought I would ask her out. She texts back saying she is really sorry, but she has a boyfriend and she is sorry if she led me on. I said not to worry. Now, everything is back to normal and she still does the same thing.
Now I am really confused. Am I interpreting her actions completely wrong? Should I just not think those are signals now? Any experience with this? Thanks guys!
TL;DR: | Girl I like gives me what I thought were decent signals. Find out she had a BF. Am I completely out of line? |
SUBREDDIT: r/loseit
TITLE: I just want to support my girlfriend.
POST: let me just say that I love what you guys are doing and more power to you.
I come to you asking for some wisdom. My gf, who I have no problem with what so ever and love just the way she is, seems to be down on her self alot lately because of her weight. I personally haven't noticed... sure her boobs are a little bigger and her butt got juicier.. but that's not really something that i frown upon. Well last night we were talking kind of heart to heart and she told me she had gained 20 lbs in the last 6 months...
Like I stated earlier, I did not notice at all. But I dont like seeing her down. I told her I would help her out with a diet plan (she just got a gym membership). So here I am asking you all for some help. I am personally a fit person, but it just comes naturally. I dont work out and i eat almost everything i want whenever i want and i keep a lean 175. Obviously I am the last person who should be giving diet tips. Can you all please leave some comments and let me know some of your tips/tricks? Or even a general plan to stick to...
TL;DR: | I am the last person to be giving someone diet tips. What are some things that have worked for all of you? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [23 M] with my Wife[20F] of a year problem. Am I overreacting?
POST: We were at a small gathering of friends hanging around, drinking, and generally having a good time. We're sitting at a table playing cards when my wife goes and sits behind him (in the same chair) and proceeds to grab his way upper thigh. It took me aback for a little while and I just didn't know what I should do. So, I sat and I stewed over it for a while until I decided that I was going to leave.
I told her I was going to leave, and she decided to come with me. I confronted her in the car about what had happened and she said she "didn't even notice." I feel like this is what really upsets me too. She sits down a guy and starts feeling up his leg and DOESNT NOTICE?! I feel like that gives me more reason for concern than the act itself. The fact that it is just so nonchalant. She has apologized prefusly after spending some time crying, and I actually started to feel bad about confronting her at all. I just have no idea what to do, am I overreacting? Am I justified? Why can't I just let this go? I just have all these questions and I don't know exactly if I'm being unreasonable.
TL;DR: | My wife sat down behind a friend and grabbed his leg only inches from his dick. I can not stop being upset over it. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [ 21F] with my boyfriend [22M] 1.5 years, His trip to Vegas...
POST: Hi so my friend told me about this subreddit yesterday so I've come to seek advice!
A little backstory: so my boyfriend and I are really happy together, we love each other very much. However we aren't naive and know this relationship isn't forever. We both have different plans for our futures so we are just enjoying each other's company.
A big part of it was because he was a virgin when we met so he's told me multiple times that he still wants to experience new things before he gets married. We have talked about ending it now because it's only going to get more difficult with each passing month. Neither of us seem to be able to do it because, again, we love each other very much.
Fast forward to now. Him and his buddies are all planning a trip to Vegas in the winter, and he invited me but I could tell it was just to be nice. I'm visiting my brother in Florida anyways so I wouldn't of been able to go.
I'm really nervous that he's going to break up with me soon because he wants all of these new experiences since I was his first time and first relationship.
So I've been thinking about a way were he can still have fun and I won't lose him. I created these guidlines for the trip.
1. He can do what he wants with whomever he wants.
2. He has to wear a condom and get tested before we can resume having intercourse. Regardless if he actually did anything.
3. I never want to hear about the girls he had sex with. No mention and no hinting. (I doubt he would ever do that, but I'm kind of nosy when I'm drunk.)
Does anyone have any suggestions on what I should add to this list? Also has anyone done something like this before? Has it worked? I HAVE NOT TOLD HIM YET.
Also please don't comment saying "If he really loved you then he wouldn't need this weekend." I'm just giving him the option, he doesn't have to do anything.
TL;DR: | Bf going to Vegas, is it dumb of me to give him a free pass for the duration of trip? Will I get hurt? Has anyone done this? Guidelines? |
SUBREDDIT: r/legaladvice
TITLE: Landlord towed my car in less than 24 hours of moving in. Do I have a case?
POST: Salt Lake City, Utah: My girlfriend and I moved into a place that we are renting. The landlord is very involved in upkeep of her residences and lives close by to check in often.
I used my parent's large car to help with moving and parked in my parking space. The car that I parked and used to move furniture was not disclosed on our lease as vehicles we would be using. During the first night after moving in, my landlord had it towed at 4:00 am while I was sleeping in my unit. I had to front $250 to pick it up from a private impound lot after learning it had been towed in the early morning. There are signs around the area that say restricted and resident parking.
When I asked her about the situation, she said she tried to physically check on all of the units to see if anyone was available, and after no response, had it towed. I tried to compromise and see if she would help pay for the fees, but she refused citing it was my mistake. My landlord is very difficult to talk to, and I could not get a word in without her beginning to cite she includes a lawyer on all of her communication to tenants and arguing that the my car parked in my spot was not dicslosed in the lease.
In terms of parking, she had communicated that parking would be something the tenants would have to figure out ourselves. She has cited that there have been break in attempts at the units before, and is involved in keeping a keen eye out for suspicious activities and vehicles. Besides my girlfriend and I, all of the tenants are out of town at the moment, so there was no one to coordinate with. In her email, she had not disclosed she would ever tow vehicles.
Are there any new tenant laws that are able to protect me in a situation like this?
Thank you for your help.
TL;DR: | on first move in day, landlord had my car towed from resident parking that has restricted parking signs. Car towed was not on my lease agreement, but I have access to park there. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [23 M] broke with my GF [19 F] after 1,5 years. I don't know if I did the right thing.
POST: I broke up with my now ex-gf after 1,5 years. 3 days passed and my stomach hurts when I think about it. I don't know if I did the right thing...
Firstly, I broke up with her because several things about her irritated me - things she did out of love. Cuddling with my hair, wanting to cuddle more than I did, wanting to talk more than I did over the phone and in RL. ( we live 20km from each other. She was a bit clingy and needy. Other reasons are that I had the reocurring thought of breaking up with her ( for 3 months or more), I even thought I wouldn't be sad if she left me, that I'd be glad. I would think about other women, and wonder, if I were in a situation, would I cheat? I couldn't/didn't want to envision us later in the future together. I just didn't know if I loved her anymore.
On the other hand, I did EVERYTHING for her and loved her to the fullest. We got along so well and shared almost all our hobbies and even kind of lived together for the last 6 months ( each had our own apartment, but I stayed at hers the whole time, which she liked ). The sex was amazing, we tried everything. Now that I'm alone, all those women I thought about, they just don't seem like I'd really love them like I did her and I just want them for their looks. My parents loved her, her parents loved me, same with friends. EVERYTHING seemed so good except for me and my thoughts. At the moment, I just feel the same I did with her.
Also, this happened already once 3 months ago, but I didn't break up, I just told her I want to be alone for a while, which lasted for two days and then I came back and was sorry as hell for doing that to her.
Also, I have some problems with depression so that should be taken into account.
TL;DR: | Broke up with my GF after 1,5 years together 3 days ago. I don't know if I did the right thing. |
SUBREDDIT: r/jobs
TITLE: Job Listing Canceled... Where do I go from here...? Please help me... :'(
POST: Alrighty:
* Biochemistry Undergrad (graduating summer)
* No experience... I'm trying to change that by applying to research oppertunities.
* The only people of countless I heard back from were hiring and really really liked me but for some reason (I'm assuming funding), HR is postponing hiring.
* The people selected me as their candidate and told me they will be discussing the position further with HR and would get back to me.
* Today, I noticed the job listing as canceled... I know it is possible that they might be adjusting the terms of hiring...
* I don't care for pay. I don't need money just the experience... I'm not sure if it's funding or if the project itself was canceled.
* Still applying to everywhere I can find but would like this position if i could....
TL;DR: | Noticed job listing canceled. Should I shoot and email? What can I do about this? Where do I go from here? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: [22/M] I am not very experienced with girls at any level and kind of goofed up things with [19/F] her.
POST: Hey there, I'm trying to uphold the rules of the subreddit so please let me know if I'm not! I'm fairly new here.
Growing up my parents discouraged dating and never spoke to me about relationships - I find that I kind of torpedo everything when it comes to interacting with girls.
The level of interaction I'm mainly concerned about is the "right before dating" stage. And in the instance of my title, there was a particular girl.
We met in a college setting, both in a small music ensemble class. A few months after that we started making small talk and I initiated texting that became a daily habit between us. Through this I found out she had a boyfriend.
*[I'm aware (as this story progresses) of my mistake in pursuing a girl while she was dating someone]*
We continued talking and even went out for simple study sessions or making food together.
Things went downhill when I got clingy. Maybe a couple months after spending time together she started to spend less and less time with me. She straight up asked me if I thought of her more than a friend and lied *[another fantastic mistake...]* - being too afraid to be rejected.
We spent a couple nights drinking, just as friends and including no sexual interactions. One night she lied to her boyfriend on the phone about her location and another night she admitted she didn't really want to date her boyfriend anymore. (Granted, she was intoxicated)
Then one night I couldn't maintain myself and tried to call her to tell her how I really felt - got no answer and decided to text her instead *[on a great streak with these mistakes, right?]*
She didn't feel the same way. I apologized for misinterpreting things and said I would like to keep being friends, etc.
I texted her a couple times after that just as a friendly hi, and she reciprocated general polite conversation.
It's been over a month since we talked last :/
TL;DR: | I befriended a girl in college that was already dating, I then displayed clinginess and inconsistency, and told her how I felt with no reciprocation from her end. Questions below! |
SUBREDDIT: r/running
TITLE: I'm a beginning runner who can only run as fast as 12:30 without conking out. Will this prevent me from progressing?
POST: I'm a beginning runner whose goal is to run longer distances without stopping. However, I've been seeing a lot of plans that conflict with this style (including the popular "Couch to 5k") program, which recommend a run-walk-run-walk method.
Am I "doing it wrong" if I don't follow the run-walk-run-walk method? I feel like it would drive me nuts to go that way, but I noticed that my pace is much slower than even most starting runners.
My pace is based on my heart rate and ability to breathe. I'm trying to listen to my body very closely. Anything beyond 12:00 will cause me to pant heavily and hurt and quit. It's kind of embarrassing, particularly because I've seen bigger people start out with better times. I feel like my body should be capable of better and I'm antsy.
TL;DR: | I'm going against all the "beginner" running plans and have a comfy pace, but it's incredibly slow. |
SUBREDDIT: r/pettyrevenge
TITLE: Don't Cat Call
POST: I was walking up by the train tracks to catch the train to work when an asshole started riding around me on his bike. This would be annoying enough, as the space near the tracks isn't very wide and this is why bicycling is prohibited on the platform.
No, he also had to start meowing at me. Now it wasn't a cute little mewing sound, mind you. He would screech at the top of his lungs like an angry cat.
His friends tried to apologetically tell me that they liked my Halloween costume. I thanked them and mentioned they should simply state that, rather than making animal sounds at people since it is very rude.
Well Cat Ass stops to talk to his friends for a moment as I walk to the opposite end of the platform. I guess he didn't like what I said so he decided to follow me down on his bike. As the MRRROW ROW got closer and closer, I waited patiently, pretending to still be purchasing a ticket.
At the last moment I swung around and took up the whole platform, standing right in front of him. He had to break hard to keep from hitting me or swerving into the chasm containing the tracks. I told him he should be more careful, one of us could have gotten very hurt then turned away and took my ticket.
He sat down and shut up for the rest of the wait.
TL;DR: | Cat Ass was riding his bike where he shouldn't while screaming cat noises at me. Almost ran him off the platform, but I got my peace and quiet. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: What is the best way to go about asking for a salary increase?
POST: I was recruited before graduation from university for a position at a large international company. My original offer was as a non-exempt employee (meaning I would be paid time and a half for overtime). My official start is next week (only just graduated) and have recently received a call from the recruiter informing me that my job-role has been reclassified as an exempt employee (meaning I will be salaried and will no longer receive overtime pay). They have kept my base rate the same, but since I'm no longer receiving overtime pay my annual compensation will be lowered close to 19% (with expected hours of overtime worked).
1. Is it unreasonable to ask for a salary increase?
2. What is the best way to go about this?
TL;DR: | Company moved me from non-exempt to exempt (effectively lowering my pay). How should I ask for an increase? |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: In what ways have relatives ruined holidays for other members of your family?
POST: I realized this after a story my mother told me about the prior Christmas. My uncle's wife told everyone she wanted to do all the work for cooking and whatnot, instead of having my elderly grandmother do it as she usually does. This was wonderful of her, but she needed to make sure she made most of it without any milk products as my mother is lactose intolerant among other milk allergies.
Now this should have been no problem at all, as it is surprisingly easy to make most foods without milk with little taste change. That, and she did not need to make everything without milk, just a few things so my mother could eat too. It is important to note that she also holds a Master's degree in Education, something that is not particularly easy to obtain. It is assumed it takes a significant amount of intelligence to reach this, and one would also assume at least slight attention to detail when someone's health is involved.
On the day of, my mother checked with her and asked if she had in fact made certain things without milk. She replied yes.
My mother asked, "So what did you use instead?"
She replied, "Margarine of course, it doesn't contain milk."
Suffice to say, my mother did not eat much that Christmas.
(And yes, some margarines do not contain milk, but most do, and this one certainly did as clearly marked on the label.)
TL;DR: | My uncle's wife with a master's degree in education does not know how to check labels for milk before cooking and my mother resorted to eating almost nothing for Christmas dinner. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My boyfriend [20/m] never buys me [19/f] anything. Ever. It's starting to really upset me. Anyone have any advice?
POST: we have been together for almost a year and every time an event comes up he never has money to do anything nice for me. Example: on my birthday he had just enough money to buy himself dinner and I had to pay for my own. He did not get me a birthday present until a month later and it was a way too big ring from the shopping channel.
His birthday: I bought him a mini cake, bought him lunch and got him over 200 dollars worth of presents. He never pays for my tab when we are out, never pays for my dinner and never makes me feel like I feel a woman should feel every once in a while.
I feel like it is emasculating. It seems like everyone else can go out and do nice things but I never can. He owes me over 1000 dollars because he constantly has to borrow money from me if I want to go out with him.
I'm sick of it. I love him but I just expect to be treated sometimes and I of course would and do treat him. It hurts me and I often cry about it but I have no one to talk to about it because it'll make me look like a brat.
TL;DR: | boyfriend can't ever take me out. Not expecting every weekend but at least Valentine's Day and birthdays. Never gets me anything nice and I feel like I see him as less of a man because of it. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [22 M] need help regarding my girlfriend's [24 F] sexual past. We have been dating for 6 months.
POST: My girlfriend has a sexual past that includes a large number of sexual partners with people that she either was not in a relationship with. For some reason, I see this as a concern. The part that makes me think and know this is unreasonable is due to the fact that she has been a faithful and committed girlfriend thus far to me. However, I seem to attribute her past to commitment issues, general promiscuity, and someone who may enjoy casual sex [I'm someone who isn't fond of that - I enjoy having sex with people while I'm in a committed relationship].
Prior to this relationship, I've had sex with only one other person while I was in a 3.5 year relationship with a girl who had only had sex with a long term boy friend prior to me.
Seeing as she treats me well and I don't want to let this get in the way between us, what can I do to be rational about this? I'm in very intense schooling and I feel like the stress from that is allowing me to be irrational about this. Why did she have one night stands? Why did she hook up with scumbags? Does this mean that she will get bored with me? I'm obviously insecure, but I need some help. I love this girl and I want to be the boy friend she deserves.
She has contracted herpes along the way from these encounters as well. We are sexually active and are practicing safe sex if this is relevant.
TL;DR: | Girlfriend has a long sexual past, I do not. I'm insecure and want to know why this bothers me. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Is my marriage over?
POST: I will start things off by saying things have been rocky between us for several months. *We have been married for almost 3 years. She refuses marriage counseling, stating she does not believe it necessary.
Yesterday, she said she was running to Wal-Mart for milk and juice for the kids, along with other groceries and left shortly before 5pm. She texts me at 5:30 with a picture of a margarita and letting me know she stopped off for a drink. She texts again 15 minutes later to ask if I can feed our kids because she would like another margarita.
2 hours later, I text asking if she is okay. "I'm great!" is her response. I ask her where she is and if she is with her friends, and get no response.
2 more hours later, she shows up home. No groceries. I then find out she went to a bar, met two guys, and then went to a local strip club with them. "Nothing happened. I was safe and responsible." I keep my calm but tell her how upset I am, for several different reasons. She does not argue, just apologizes.
In my emotional tirade, I ask her if she has cheated on me since we have been married. She says yes. She tells me how she hooked up with one of her friends, a girl, in a bathroom a couple months ago.
*My wife is 24, I am 29.We have a daughter together and she has a son from a previous relationship. We have been a couple for 5 years and her son has always called me "Daddy".
I am now the proud owner of a broken heart and most likely a broken home.
Would appreciate some advice, other than the typical response of lawyer up, hit the gym, kill the facebook, etc.
TL;DR: | My wife of more than 2.5 years left for groceries, came home 5 hours later after meeting 2 guys at a bar and going to a strip club. Ensuing argument reveals she has cheated during our marriage. FML |
SUBREDDIT: r/offmychest
TITLE: I'm not going to take care of your dogs!
POST: Stop trying to get me to babysit your pets "just for a day".
It's not because I don't like animals. I LOVE pets. But I recognize that I can not have one right now. I'm too tied up in school and work. I would not be able to give them the attention they need. And I don;t want to make a pet suffer days of neglect just so I can play with them for an hour on the weekend.
YOU, however, can't seem to wrap your head around the fact that pets need attention. Your schedule is just as packed as mine, but you have 6 dogs and a few cats running around your yard. A Tiny yard for that matter. At least you didn't put a fucking chain on them.
You know they need better treatment and you know I know what to do with them. So you keep trying to get me to come over and babysit them or to take them to my place "just for a day".
Last time that happened it took almost a month and a LOT of nagging for you to pick them up. It's not happening again.
Remember the time you were going on a road trip and tried to drop them off at the last second without telling me? Remember how I refused and didn't care if I delayed your "carefully planned" trip? That wasn't a one time feeling.
I know in the grand scheme of things this is a small thing to get angry over, but god damn it! You are a shitty pet owner, are bordering animal cruelty/neglect, and I hope you are sterile because heaven help you if you ever have kids.
TL;DR: | I'm busier than you. Why the hell would I be able to take care of your zoo if you don't have the time? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: [17/M] How do I learn to trust my roommate [20/M] around my girlfriend [19/M]?
POST: A little bit of backstory: this has never been a concern in my mind before since, admittedly, my past few ex's have not been what you would consider attractive. Or at least what "he" (my roommate) would.
I recently (2.5 mo's) got a new girlfriend who, by pretty much anyone's standards, is hot as hell. Before we began dating (we've known each other maybe 4 months) my roommate and I had a bet on who could bang her first (awful I know) We were both really attracted to her, although it was pretty apparent I had the upper-hand.
We're young and like to drink alot. People get drunk and stupid shit happens. They messed around a bit before we started dating, but nothing much.
Now to the root of my concern: I obviously know he's attracted to her, and she's somewhat attracted to him. I trust this guy a lot (we're also co-workers and best friends) but shit happens. She has a history of cheating as well. She's at my apartment quite a bit, including times when I'm not home and my roomie has people over.
My question is, how do I get this nagging feeling out of the back of my head that something stupid is going to happen when I'm not around. Although I can pretend really well, it's nearly impossible for me to learn to trust a person, and the circumstances in both cases make it even harder.
Anything goes. Help me. Tell me I'm an idiot. I don't care, I just need opinions.
TL;DR: | Girlfriend and roomie had "fun" before we started dating. They party occasionally when I'm not home. How do I learn to trust them both not to do something stupid? |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Dear LA Redditors: to go inside the main part of the LAX, what do I need (without a scheduled flight)?
POST: My boyfriend's coming home for Thanksgiving and I want to surprise him by being there when he lands. Rather than chill with the arrivals, though, I wanted to get inside while it was light out and watch the planes take off/land and read. There's plenty of places with such views but I don't know what's needed.
Some people say you can get accompanying passes with people who board, some say you have to go with someone with clearance to bring people, some say you have to have someone who works there... it's very confusing and it's a bit far so I want to have a plan.
TL;DR: | Need to get inside main part of LAX (shopping/sitting area) with good intentions, who or what do I need and where can I get it? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My [17F] friend [17F] makes me feel guilty for not talking to her.
POST: I've been friends with this girl for ten years. We're really close: she tells me all her secrets, asks me for advice, we can talk about anything and all that usual stuff.
I'm a really private person and also like to have my space. I also prefer to meet people rather than talk on the phone or text all the time.
I don't like interrupting what I'm doing (binge watching a show, playing videogames, reading etc. – I know it's not important stuff but it's just a pet peeve of mine) to talk to someone unless it's really important.
My friend expects me to stop doing what I'm doing and talk to her all the time, I tell her that I'm occupied and can't talk. In return she starts calling me continuously, messaging me until I don't actually reply. Then she makes me feel guilty by saying that I prioritize other stuff and don't care about her, how I'm taking her for granted etc.
We talk at least 2-3 times a day (on call and also I always try to reply to her texts) but she expects me to talk to her 24/7.
I don't want to lose her as a friend but I'm also tired of having to talk all the time and feeling guilty for doing something else. I've tried to just stop replying for a while but then she calls on my parents' phone and that's even more annoying.
TL;DR: | Friend wants me to talk to her all the time and makes me feel guilty if I don't. What should I do without losing her as a friend? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My (21M) roommate (20?F) is insane. Follows me round yelling at me accusing me of being racist.
POST: Some random background which will make more sense in a minute: I'm 21M, English, white and muscular. I am living in private student accommodation where you each have your own locked room but shared bathroom/kitchen. I didn't know the roommates before I moved in but they are all students.
I don't speak to my roommates much as I am extremely busy with studying, and my girlfriend Cara is at another university a couple of hours away so weekends are busy with her. However in general we got on when we saw each other. However, a couple months ago an exchange student from Africa (19/20?F) moved in for this term. Although I try to get on with everyone, I had a problem with her as she would use my kitchen utensils, damaging them and leaving them dirty, and also steal my food. Two weeks ago a couple of us confronted her and we were polite but theft is theft. She denied everything and went crazy at us, yelling and screaming.
She is here for another month before she goes back to Africa. She is getting more and more crazy. She will literally stand outside my bedroom door yelling at me, insulting me and Cara, calling me racist, saying I was threatening because I'm muscular, plus a lot of stuff I can't understand to be honest as her English isn't great. Note: she has never had a conversation with Cara, they have met twice, the second time she screamed at her. If I leave my room she will follow me round screaming at me. I should note here that I am not racist in the slightest. I have had no experience with this behaviour at all.
I reported it to the tenant agency but they said she's given notice and is moving out in less than a month so there isn't anything else they can do, and just ignore her. But I'm scared that she might poison my food or worse. I think she has severe mental problems. Cara suggested I call the police myself because she is nuts. I'm also scared to have Cara visit me in case this girl attacks her (Cara is a tiny little thing).
What should I do to get through the next three weeks?
TL;DR: | crazy roommate following me round yelling at me all the time, landlords no use, three weeks to go... what do? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Is my [F/23] SO [M/24] emotionally manipulating me?
POST: So, I wasn't going to post this. This account is a throwaway for a different question. But let me post anyway.
My bf and I have been dating for around 2 years. This behavior has always been there, I just didn't quiet pin it until last night.
We got into an argument over the phone, it was around 11 pm. He told me he was sick and we should talk tomorrow. I was really upset, and had a lot of things to say, but he started telling me that I needed to stop picking a fight and respect him, because he had to go to bed. I can deal with that, it's fine, i mean he always has an excuse to walk away from a situation he doesn't want to be in. But then he took it a little further, and I guess he's done this before but this time I saw it differently. He said something around the lines of "I'm sick, and if you keep me from bed, I'll stay sick, and then tomorrow I won't be able to go home to visit my grandparents for christmas because I'll be sick. I want to spend christmas with my family"
This made me feel guilty. But I'm also not stupid, and I realized he had brought in some exterior factor to guilt me with into dropping a fight I really did have a right to be fighting for.
Is this true emotional manipulation and how aware is he that he's doing this? This isn't the first time he does it.
TL;DR: | Is my bf being emotionally manipulative by trying to make me feel guilty for something completely out of context whenever I'm upset at something he's done? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: 30M Need advice on getting along with my (29F) girlfriends (55F) mother.
POST: Background: We started dating in October of last year. By December overnight visits had pretty much turned into my girlfriend & 2 yr old her daughter (from a previous relationship) living with me. We decided to introduce each other to our families for the holidays. All went well, my family accepted them with open arms. I met her parents & got along well with her father.
When we first started seeing each other my girlfriend mentioned that her mother was rather unreasonable & that they did not get along well. Her mother is very rude, cynical, unkempt, does not work, & is rather critical of my girlfriends parenting skills.
My girlfriends mother seems to think I am not good enough for her. I make the same amount of money per year as my girlfriends father & am half his age.
Regardless, I have to tried to show her mother that I am serious about being with her daughter & helping take care of her granddaughter. At first I was met with what seemed disinterest. Then typical parent responses like: "you better not do anything to hurt my baby". It seemed like I was making some progress until yesterday.
Her parents watched the baby for a few hours while we went to lunch. When we got back to pick her up my girlfriend went inside a fewminutes before I did. Her mother say "what is going on at that house," "who all lives there?" "The baby is not acting like herself". However, her mother did not confront me when I came inside.
None of her mothers accusations are true. We both make good money & take very good care of the child. At this point, should I try to "win" her mothers favor or should I start avoiding her?
TL;DR: | My girlfriends mother is insinuating that I have some how abused or neglected her 2 yr old granddaughter. Should I continue to try to win favor with her mother, or cut all contact with her mother? |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: I need help quickly about a spider problem in my closet
POST: Reddit, I am freaking out.
I was sitting here when I saw a spider in my closet, so I kept my eye on it so it couldn't get away and grabbed my trash can and dumped it out so I could trap it.
When I went to trap it, the spider ran to the corner.
IN THE CORNER THERE WERE FUCKING BABY SPIDERS RUNNING AROUND.
I nope'd hard and grabbed raid and sprayed the shit out of my closet corner.
The spider was brown and looked to be about the size of a quarter.
Google says that is was a brown recluse, a brown recluse had babies in my closet.
Reddit, I am freaking the fuck out. I sprayed my closet corner down and trapped the spider under the trash can. What do I do now?
TL;DR: | Brown Recluse had babies in my closet and I sprayed them all down and caught adult. What do I do now? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Dating a co-worker? I'm [22/F] and he's [24/M]
POST: I have this friend/co-worker and we've been working together for a little more than two years now. We sit close to each other in the office so we get to talk to each other and joke around a lot during the day. Outside of work, we hangout and do stuff together like have lunch and dinner, go on road trips during the summer and do other typical things that friends do. At this point, I see him more as a friend (or a potential bf) than a co-worker.
I like him and I'm pretty sure he likes me too. He's very sweet and he even brought me flowers and chocolates for valentines day.
My problem is that I'm a little afraid about starting a relationship with someone I met at work. Am I wrong for being afraid of dating a co-worker? Or should I take the leap and go on a date with him and see how it goes?
TL;DR: | I like my co-worker and he likes me too. I want to go on a date with him, but I'm afraid of dating a co-worker. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: What is the most moronic thing a co worker has done? I'll start
POST: I worked in the Electronics department at a local Walmart for almost 2 years. I witnessed a lot of coworkers stealing things and getting caught. However I did witness a guy who just started with us steal a 1200 dollar camera. I was putting inventory away when I was about to turn the corner to head towards the photo center. This was at 10 pm so there was little traffic flow. He basically took the camera box out from the case and deactivated the magnet alarm ( easy to do). He then put it into a bag and walked right out of the store. I of course reported it to my manager within 10 minutes. They could do nothing since he was gone. He called in and quit the next day.
Well to add on to this. This guy was a total fucking moron. His plan was solid to a point but he ruined it in the end.
He knew that nobody runs into Walmart to buy a 1200 DSLR camera.They just do not or at least not at ours. So he knew that the only way we would know it is missing would be A. inventory being done ( once a year basically) or B. Someone comes in to buy it and we find out it shows we have 1 in stock but it is missing.
So I give him props for that small part but now here is where he gets fucking moronic.
A week later he comes into the store. I hear over our radios that he has entered ( ear peices in so he is not aware of what we are saying). He brought in the 1200 camera to RETURN for a gift card to the store. Really? We almost started laughing and as soon as we saw the camera we had the cops on there way. Now we had the lady at the Customer Service desk act like she would give him the card. She confirmed the serial # with the one we had lost.
Case closed. He was hauled off by the police. Seriously the stupidest fucking thing to do. Even though I had seen him take it and the cameras show him leaving with it. Walmart would not have pursued anything or at least not ours. So he would have gotten away with it if he had just stayed the fuck away.
TL;DR: | Guy steals 1200 camera from Walmart. Quits next day and a week later attempts to return it to the same store for a gift card. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [27/M] had a 'drunken accident' and slept with a co-worker [35 something/F] and now she is pursing me
POST: I know it is going to be easy to lecture me from your high horses about responsible alcohol consumption, and if you feel the need please do so, but just keep in mind that it wasn't what I came here for.
I had been dating another girl for a few months, and I was really in to her, but she pulled the plug on what we had and I was alone again. I have this co-worker that I know is attracted to me, she had made it very clear but I had said to her that "I haven't done anything with a co-worker before" and she was trying to convince me that it wasn't a big deal, and if that it doesn't work out one could just revert back to being friends.
Fast forward to last weekend, alot of people from work are out and we are having drinks at the bar, and I might have ordered one to many because of the rejection from the other girl I had before.
As we are leaving, the co-worker asks if I want to come with her, I do and I don't have to explain more what happens.
Now she has been writing to me on facebook everyday and she wants to keep seeing me, and I just want to pretend like this weekend never happened but I don't want to make it awkward since this is someone I will have to keep seeing.
We are not "close" co-workers, we are just in the same, very big building, but I will probably be around her a couple of times per week. Any suggestion would be nice.
TL;DR: | Recently rejected by a girl I like I gave in to a co-workers advances and now I am in a situation I don't know how to get out of. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Need help planning the ultimate romantic date (20 M with 20 F)
POST: I've been dating this girl on and off for the last 5 months, though not officially, at least not in name. I've had some serious commitment issues in the past, but I've finally decided that she's everything I want and more. I really do want to commit to her. I want to ask her to be my girlfriend, but I'm worried that she will have reservations because of my past actions.
Now, I've never done anything like this before, never had a serious relationship or even remotely tried to be romantic, but I'm trying to plan a romantic dinner for myself and my (hopefully soon-to-be) girlfriend for next week. I want it to be super elaborate and over the top romantic to convince her that I'm serious and understand the kind of commitment this kind of relationship requires.
My plan is to make a reservation at a really really nice restaurant, somewhere where we can have a private table or reserve a patio to ourselves. We'd both be dressed up super nice, not tuxedo nice but maybe business casual (nicer than sweaters and yoga pants), and we'd get chauffeured to the restaurant. I'd love for it to in be a limo or a town car.
Once we get to the restaurant, by our table there would be a guitarist playing some instrumentals for atmosphere. I'd also like to hire a sketch artist to sketch the scene, either for progeny's sake or at least to draw memories from (no pun in ten did).
Bearing in mind that I am a college student, I don't want to spend too much money. But she means an awful lot to me, and I'm comfortable spending at least a couple hundred dollars to make this perfect.
Any advice you can give me would be welcome, be it a different idea or ways to facilitate the idea I already have (I live in the LA area, so any relevant restaurant suggestions or artist suggestions would be very helpful).
TL;DR: | I want to make a statement with a really romantic date. Looking to book a private meal, and hire a guitarist and a sketch artist (maybe a photographer too). Please give me some advice! |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I (22 F) date with my coworker (35M), he wants me to move in with him. He also has a son. I am blinded by love, I need reassurance. Can it work?
POST: We have been working in the same office since last year. I always liked him, we were good friends, he helped me a lot.
This february he divorced his wife and moved out. A couple of weeks later we had our first kiss, and since then we have been together.
I am totally in love with him and he loves me very much too. He wants me to move in with him. I would really want it but I am not 100% sure. I am so deeply in love, I can't think about the future now, but I need some reassurance, and advice from people who had similar relationships.
My worries:
The age gap is big, maybe some day I will want a kid too, but he doesn't.
We work together in the same office, in the same team, we are together 24/7, which I like very much, but I don't want it to get boring, we talk about work a lot at home too.
Finally, his ex-wife hates me, she doesn't allow their son to meet me, and his parents hate me too.
Thanks for the help!
TL;DR: | I am in love with a coworker who is a lot older than me. He wants to move together, I have some worries. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: It's like he doesn't even like me.
POST: Female, 24, dating male, 27, for roughly two months.
For whatever reason (no, I know the reason, it's that I'm insecure and a late bloomer), I don't feel comfortable in relationships without a lot of physical affection and verbal compliments, which I reciprocate of course. We have the former. We don't have the latter. In fact, we have so little of the latter it's making me really depressed and lonely, even though there's no reason I should be lonely because I'm in a relationship.
For instance. I'll try to initiate flirting, say over text maybe, and he won't go along with it at all. Or he compliments me sometimes, but it's always with caveats. Stuff like I'm not his type but he doesn't mind. Or he'll say that he likes my dress, say, but he won't say, for instance, that I look good in it. The dress could be on a hanger for all he mentions. The best way I can think to describe it is that I feel like I'm being negged- but from inside a relationship, when you shouldn't even have to do that. I don't think he's doing that on purpose but that's how I feel.
I don't know whether it's even worth bringing this up or how I even would. I don't want to fish for compliments. I just wish that someone I'm going out with- of all people- would give them.
TL;DR: | The person I'm dating very rarely says anything that indicates he likes or is attracted to me. It's making me insecure and depressed. What do I do? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: Cheating or not?
POST: Background info:
My boyfriend (27) and I (23) have been together for almost 3 years, living together for over 2 of those years. I've made it known to him that I am also attracted to girls -I'm female- and we have had threesomes in the past. Over the summer we were staying at my best friend's house for a few weeks in between apartments, we got drunk and ended up having a threesome. This happened a couple times and everything was fine in our relationship.
Last weekend we were visiting at her house hanging out drinking with a few people and she had gone to bed. We all went out for a cigarette break except for my boyfriend. I called him and he would not pick up his phone. After 20 minutes he came outside, saying that he couldn't find us. I got suspicious and questioned him multiple times about what he was doing and he denied doing anything. He went as far as to start questioning me about what I was doing outside. I ended up feeling bad about being suspicious and apologized. The next night I asked him again and he finally admitted that he had been fooling around with my best friend.
I feel completely betrayed and honestly, like I've been cheated on. At the same time I know that's not exactly the case, since it's nothing that hadn't happened before and apparently they didn't fuck but just fooled around a bit.
If it means anything, for context, my friend(..?) also has a history of being attracted to her friend's boyfriends and not having the most moral sexual conducts.
He has now apologized multiple times and I can tell he feels horrible about it.
Should I consider this cheating or am I overreacting? What to do?????
TL;DR: | Boyfriend fooled around with my best friend, who we have had threesomes with before. I wasn't there though, and he lied to me about it. Is it still considered cheating? |
SUBREDDIT: r/needadvice
TITLE: 20f only child trying to deal with parents' problems alone. Need advice on how to cope/what to do
POST: As I said I'm a 20f only child.
Since I can remember there has never been any real romance between my parents, they're never intimate around each other. My mum is very emotional, dad not. My mum has repeatedly confided in me that she is lonely as my dad pretty much ignores her most of the time. I think they are probably still together because of me.
While this is a clear problem, my mum doesn't want confrontation so just sort of carries on and hides it so while my parents very rarely fight it is only because the issues are ignored. I don't know what to do as I am stuck in the middle and can't take sides.
All the family members I have that I am even vaguely close too live in other countries and I can't bring myself to tell my boyfriend or friends. I confided in a college friend when I was drunk several days ago but no one else has ever known.
I feel like I'm the only one who sees any of this as I have no siblings so have no one who understands. I'm looking for how I can cope with this or anyone esp. an only child who understands and could offer some advice.
Sorry for the wall of text.
TL;DR: | Married parents have unaddressed issues mum confides in me that she's 'lonely' how do I help them or deal with this on my own |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: I am a bad person. I made plans to hang out with my friend who is flying here to spend a day with me. I REALLY REALLY don't want to hang out with him. I need an excuse to get out of it.
POST: So, this guy has been a long distance friend for about a year. We've slept together one time (a threesome with my female friend...but that's another story) and he's made it clear that he has sexual intentions, and I've made it clear that I'm in a relationship and am not intending to have sex with him. He is very disappointed and I have a strong feeling that he will try to coerce me anyway. I've lead him on for a long time, and in a moment of weakness I agreed to have him come visit me tomorrow. I have nothing in common with this guy, I really want to hang out with my boyfriend tomorrow instead since I haven't seen him in a week. I feel so bad for leading this guy on, because he really is a nice person, but I have no desire to have him in my life. I need an excuse that's better than "i'm sick" and I've got nothing.
TL;DR: | I'm a bad person and I need a good excuse to get out of hanging out with my non-friend who is flying here tomorrow to see me. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My brother [11M] is incredibly rude to our whole family and our mother [39F] doesn't do anything about it.
POST: Sorry, this post might be an angry rant as well as the situation and probably sounds stupid.
My brother is, what you could say, the golden child of the family. My grandma was in town and all he did was ignore her and give her an attitude (Hey can you take the garbage out for me please? *huffs and rolls eyes* "whatever."
She lets him get away with being rude to anyone, right in front of her, even herself. It's all excused, all the time. It's getting to the point where I get so angry at how much of a dick to me and my grandma that I'm punching the chair in my room so I don't punch him in the face.
He never cleans anything, never does any chores, if he doesn't get his way then he throws a fit and slams door and cusses under his breath, and he also leaves the house whenever he wants to even when my mom says no, and just yells at her. But it's okay, because "he's young" whatever the fuck that means.
When I was his age though, I was verbally and emotionally abused by my mom, constantly put down and never allowed to go outside, couldn't do after school sports, was always grounded and forced to do all the chores in her house like cleaning the kitchen and bathroom and folding her laundry, all the while being called names like "fat" and "asshole."
What can I do to make my brother less rude? If I say anything to him, he runs off to my mom and says I called him something else or makes something up and my mom then calls me "disciplinarian" that's "so mean to him".
Sorry if this is a dumb post and sounds like sibling rivalry, but she's also a narcissist so I can't talk to her about it. She's perfect in every way in her mind.
TL;DR: | Mom lets brother act incredibly rude and selfish to grandmother and I, and blatantly disrespects our mother and she doesn't care. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I slipped up and cheated... i need help
POST: We're 21, male and female. We've been together for a year now. I really know she's the one. We've been engaged for 2 months now. I slipped up one night at a bar and cheated. She looked at me and kissed me and I was too drunk to really comprehend. I went with it. Then I was like... shit. I can't do this when we we're about to have sex. I realized what I was doing and didn't want to go through with it. Got her dropped off at home and I went home too and that's that. My Fiancee was on my facebook when it was logged in and read through a old convo. This occurred in June. I was too scared to ever tell her, I really love this girl and I don't want to lose her. We've both been through similar things and are perfect for each other. I say she's my first TRUE love. I never really realized what love was until a few months into our relationship. She's super upset, wants time apart. She changed her facebook status to single. She said we'll try to work on it because she really loves me and knows I'm sincerely sorry about it.. I wish it never happened... I feel like she will never get over it... everytime something happens she's gonna remember it... and I don't want to throw this relationship away. I've never connected with someone like her and I doubt I will again. She's amazing... what should I do?
TL;DR: | I got piss drunk, girl at a bar kissed me and when we we're about to have sex I realized what I was doing and couldn't do it. Fiancee found out months later. What should I do? |
SUBREDDIT: r/jobs
TITLE: Getting some value from a JD?
POST: I graduated from college in 2005 (Political Science) and started a career in market research. I was working full-time and started law school in 2008 at nights, (Suffolk Law in Boston) because I was trying to be responsible with money. I was laid off after my 1L year and foolishly sacrificed to stay in school.
I've worked odd jobs for two years, including an unpaid internship for a year, doing research, writing, blogging, for some municipalities, sports sites, tech websites. I've reached out to friends and family. I've had about a dozen interviews this year and no job. I'm broke and never took the bar, but law is dead for anyone outside of a top school here (again, I did that to myself by picking a lower-ranked school so I could keep working).
I haven't been able to get any type of legal work, but I have to defend my law degree in every interview, and many people still believe that with the degree I will be able to find work, possibly leaving their company quickly. I don't care. I just need a job. I'm willing to eat the hundred+ grand on the degree if I can find a job.
TL;DR: | Lawyers and ex-lawyers of reddit, how can someone save themselves from the law grad nightmare? Is there a better way to sell law than research skills, writing etc? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me[16/M] is very new to the fact that I'm getting unsure signs from my crush [17/F], that she likes me.
POST: So basically, there's this girl whom I've known since last year, who has had plenty of guy friends from other schools and my current one, a lot of which even likes/liked her at a certain point. Now I only say this to emphasize that I think she has some experience in the matter, and has become sort of immune to the signs that I like her based off of the fact that she's probably seen and heard a lot of flirting etc. before, from previous men who tried to court her. I've been really close to this girl these past few days, even as far as being one of three males who were invited to her birthday party. One of the other guys already has a girlfriend, and the other is a family friend.
She is a conservative girl, and even said to me that I wouldn't know that she likes a guy until months because she's good at hiding it. She's also never been on a date as well. She's been really friendly and inviting to accompany me to watch movies, get our licences together, eat pizza at her house after exams. Of course, these kinds of signs are only secondarily considered to me as it is only a friendly thing.
Her family seems to like me, her brother talks to me as if I've known him for weeks, her mother went out of her way to give me a handshake and accompany me out of her birthday party, and her father likes to make jokes with me sometimes.
We went to an expo together, in which her dad drove as both, just three of us in a car, and we really hit it off there. We always sit within at least 2 meters from each other during breaks and we hug almost daily.
It may seem to others that it's just a friendship thing, but I just want some clarification from dear Reddit, and also to ask what I should do, because I really like this girl. I can't stop thinking about her (although that quote probably is heard to death.)
TL;DR: | A popular girl who is pretty ignorant towards flirting (she is probably used to it) is giving me really friendly signs that might be interpreted otherwise. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Should I propose splitting the cost of a plane ticket to see a girl I like?
POST: Hey Reddit, here are the circumstances: We're both 25. She's in Portland, I'm in St. Louis. Neither of us have much cash. $300 round trip. We met doing relief work in Haiti, spent 3 days together in St. Louis while she was visiting some college friends. Best connection I've had with a girl in years. I want to go see her, but 300 bucks is steep, and I feel there would be some mutual security in both of us throwing down for the ticket, in case it doesn't end up so well. She's definitely interested in seeing me again and we've mentioned traveling to do so.
I'm just not sure if it's a total sign of being cheap, or if it could be taken as a slight that I propose we split the price of the ticket. Note, I don't care if she comes here or I go there.
TL;DR: | So the question is, is it a dick move to propose splitting airfare to visit a girl I've spent 3 really close days with? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [18 M] with my girlfriend [17 F] 4 Months, Confused Feelings
POST: I'm using this account as a "throwaway" account as advised by a friend for complete anonymity. I am a 18 year old male college student and 4 months ago I met in my eyes, the perfect girl.
We have argued and had misunderstandings more times than I can remember but we have gotten over them relatively quickly. I am absolutely convinced I am in love with this girl because I truly care about her feelings and she accepts me for who I am. She also makes me happy :)
Recently, this past week, I have been having confused feelings towards her or maybe just the relationship. We have had two fairly big arguments this week over silly things but I just can't get my head around them.
Yesterday I went round her house for dinner and I didn't quite feel the warmness in my heart that I used to feel when I saw her. She knew something was up so I tried explaining to her that I am confused and she was just really upset, she was almost certain she wanted nothing to do with me because she felt like I was "treating her like a toy" and "messing with her". We eventually made amends but I still feel confused.
I'm not interested in any other girls however do tend to fantasize from time to time. I just want to be happy again, I want that spark to come back and I don't want to continue living feeling like this because it's not fair on the both of us.
We recently tried not having sex but we very quickly felt like doing it again. I'm not sure if it would of helped to be honest.
So my question to you guys and girls is, what do you recommend me to do? Me and my girlfriend love each other very much but maybe that's not quite enough. I just want to feel happy again, to feel that spark when I see her. Does this mean that the relationship is dying? Does this mean that I don't truly love her? I'm just so confused right now and I need some help.
TL;DR: | I feel confused with my feelings towards this relationship, I love my girlfriend and I WANT to be happier in this relationship, what do I do? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My [25F] evil ex's [28M] awesome dad [60sM] is in critical care and likely to pass away. How do I handle this?
POST: Throwaway because I don't want this on my main account. Just looking for perspective.
My Evil Ex ("EE") was a shitty person. He cheated on me for the entirety of our three year relationship, gave me multiple STDs, and continues to leech off of his family, who are wonderful people. We broke up about 18 months ago and I haven't seen him since, with absolutely no regrets in that regard. I still talk to his Sister [32F], and we get lunch or drinks pretty frequently.
EE's parents are great people. They love me like a daughter, and I truly miss having them in my life. Sister sent me a message yesterday. Dad had a stroke and a heart attack. He has blood poisoning and his kidneys are shutting down. They don't think that he's going to make it.
I'm stunned and very sad. But I don't know what to do in this situation. I want to be there for Sister, who is my friend, and for Mom, who is losing the man she's been married to for close to 40 years. It's heartbreaking. But I can't go to the funeral, because I honestly believe that EE will make a scene. We broke up under bad circumstances (obviously), and he still calls me every 3-4 months to leave voicemails that alternate between begging me to take him back, and screaming at me for leaving him in the first place.
But I also want to remember a good person who was always very kind to me. I don't think it was necessarily his fault for having a shitty son. What the hell do I do?
TL;DR: | Nasty ex-boyfriend's father is dying. I want to be there for the family, because they were always great to me, but I have no idea how to handle this. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: Is he lying?
POST: Alright, so here it is. Me and my boyfriend are 17, young, whatever, I know. We've been together for almost 6 months now. Anyways, He had moved away for a while and I only met him when he got back last June. We got together at the beginning of December.
Since he was generally new to where he moved to, he could lie about anything any no one would know. Since he's gotten back down here, I can usually spot his white lies; saying he's seen a movie when he hasn't, just really stupid, really small stuff like that. Well anyways. Him and I have a joke about him having 'another girlfriend' I know he loves me very much, but when he says that he would tell me if he cheated, or if he did have another girlfriend, I have a really hard time believing him. What should I do?
TL;DR: | Boyfriend of 6 months tells a lot of white lies and I can't tell if he's ever being honest with me. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My wife (21 f) and I (21 f) don't want my brother (19 m) with a history of violence bringing a gun into our home. I fear that asking him not to will incite said violence.
POST: I live in a state with open carry of hand guns legal for all people under 21. My dad willingly gave my brother a hand gun to carry all the time. My brother meets all of the criteria to be diagnosed a sociopath. He also has bouts of anger during which he dissociates.
My wife and I are generally anti-gun to begin with; most people are not stable enough to safely own a gun in our view. I don't really care about your opinion on my opinion; it really only affects me and my home. We do not want guns in our home and especially do not want my brother bringing guns into our home. I do not want my brother to freak out on me, which he does a lot, because a person screaming at you and threatening to shoot you when they actually have a gun is terrifying. How do I get this message across without a war?
TL;DR: | crazy brother always carries a gun and I don't want it in my home and I don't want a war over it. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My mom (55) is not letting me (14 F) have a proper social life. Is she being reasonable?
POST: (Im going to be a sophomore this school year)
My friend (a guy) recently invited me to hang out at his house (along with 2 other people) tomorrow night to watch a show we all like together.
I asked my mom earlier today if i can go and she flipped. Not at the fact that hes a guy (she trusts me 100% and she knows my friend very well) but because im "hanging out at another persons house."
She proceeded to explain that if we were hanging out at the mall/movies/ect she would've been perfectly fine with it. She also said that i'd only be allowed to do that once a month. But the fact that its at another persons house, makes her feel "uncomfortable" for some reason.
The weird thing is, ive hung out with him AT his house just two weeks ago, with the same other people. We had a great time and i was perfectly fine/safe. Today, she told me she wasnt comfortable with it then so she doesnt want it to happen again.
I have literally NO social life. The last time i hung out with this kid (2 weeks ago) was the first time ive hung out with anyone since November 2014. Im in my house 24/7 and i really think its unhealthy for my mental health. My mom says she likes it this way, but i hate it!! It makes me feel so lonely. Because of this, i've developed some sort of social anxiety and ive become extremely awkward.
Im the youngest of 3. My brothers are both in their early twenties and they rarely hang/hung out with people. My moms argument is that since they never had a social life, i shouldn't either :/
Do you guys think shes being reasonable? I think shes just overthinking everything and is new to this kind of stuff i guess. What do you guys think? Im really in a rut :/
TL;DR: | My mom refuses to allow me to hang out with other people because she doesn't want it to become a habit and feels uncomfortable. |
SUBREDDIT: r/pettyrevenge
TITLE: Not going to show common road courtesy? I'll show you!
POST: Still somewhat pissed about this but it was fun to see the results.
**The Transgression**
So, me and my girlfriend are driving down a two lane road (important) on our way to a somewhat nicer restaurant then where we normally would go. As we hit a stop light we notice that the lanes merge into one. A few cars move up ahead of us in the other lane (note: the lane that is ending) no big deal, not everyone is going to shift lanes beforehand. As we hit the merge I make sure to follow the normal procedure of "I go, you go" so the cars form up like a zipper.
However some highborn greater being then I decided that this would not work for him and tailgates the car I'm about to let go in front of me.
GF: "Can you believe this guy?"
Now I am driving a beat up 7 year old minivan while he is driving a much nicer car, I think that he would be somewhat protective of this and make it very clear by how I am positioned I will only let 1 car go ahead of me.
This guy gives no fucks.
Nearly touching the car in front of him to make sure he gets in front of me.
I back off, blaring my horn because this guy can't be bothered to wait his turn.
**The Revenge**
Since I was now forced to follow this guy very close (25 mph limit) both me and my GF are seething because we see following common courtesy should be very important while operating 1/2 ton metal machines. I am close enough to see him in his rear-view mirror and gave him a death glare. I see him look back at me, and without any signal both me and my GF flip him off in almost the same second.
At the next red light we proceeded to give him a death glare as he did his best to not look very uncomfortable and embarrassed.
TL;DR: | Asshole driver ignores road courtesy and gets an unrehearsed double bird flip and stare down from me and my girlfriend |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: [18F] Girl is giving me [19M] mixed signals all over the place.
POST: So I've been friends with this girl for about a year and I've always liked her and kind of wanted to ask her out, but never did because she was in another relationship, or seemed to be in to another guy.
But over the last couple of months we've talked/ texted a lot more and she has been more flirty and touchy around me. So about a month ago I just asked her what she wanted, to be friends, or something more. She said friends and I said that was completely fine. I still had a feeling that I wanted something more, but I knew that she didn't and we both wanted to still be friends, so that was enough for me.
After that we hung out and she flirted just as much, if not more than before. Then a few nights ago while drunk she texts me "you're cute and great, and I love you" I said "you love me?" And she says "I love lots of people and you are definitely one of them". I have no idea what to think, or where our relationship is going. What should I do?
TL;DR: | If I was looking at everything from a distance I would say this girl is really in to me, except for the fact that she said she wanted to be friends in the past. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [16m] an friends with this girl [16f] who is currently in a relationship with another guy [17f] and she's said she likes me as more than a friend
POST: It sounds so juvenile as we're all pretty young but bear with me here.
We met in the normal highschool way and that was through classes we had together. Eventually we started texting and after a couple months we became each others best friend. She had been in a relationship with this other guy for a couple months when I met her but I didn't worry about that at first, I just thought she was different and I wanted to be her friend.
Around two months into really getting close to her she was having problems with this guy (a periodic occurrence) and she was texting me about it and eventually it led to her saying that she had started to really like me too and that she was conflicted about it.
Things then soothed between her and her boyfriend but she told me that she still meant what she said that night.
Long story short in the next 6 months she had ups and downs but I can tell she still likes me as more than friends and that even though she likes her boyfriend, he isn't going to last forever.
What I'm asking is if I should be patient and wait for her to break up with him or if I should try and move on.
TL;DR: | I like a girl who has a boyfriend but she likes me back and I'm not sure if I should wait for them to break up or just move on. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [22F] with my good friend from college [22F] Should I just let this go? How do I go about widening my social circle?
POST: I'll preface this by saying that I find it really hard to "break up" with friends, especially if there's been no big fight.
Graduated from college this past summer, and moved to a new area (about 2 months ago) in pursuit of a job in the entertainment industry. I only have about 2-3 friends in total in the area so far.
This friend, Su, we'll call her, is my closest friend in the area, and was a pretty good friend in college. She's my one of my best friends other best friends, and we generally hung out every weekend, with and without that friend.
She also works in the entertainment industry, and as we're both women and young, I thought she might be a great contact to have as we both navigate our way through what is quite the dog eat dog industry.
With that being said, with the exception of meeting me for lunch when I first arrived, she has been basically non existent. I have texted her at least 4 times asking her, point blank, when we were going to get together. She always responds with "Yeah, let's hang out!!"
I've also kept her updated on my job, asked about hers, and offered her advice on her work related submissions (we are both songwriters).
I am actually doing surprisingly well for myself. I wrote a song that got picked up by a B-list artist, and they say they might be interested in more.
I tried to tell my friend this, with the intention of inviting her to the album release party, but got a "great" in response.
She's from the area, so she definitely has a much wider social circle. I'm not expecting her to be my only friend or anything, but we were actually friends. Now, we live within 5 miles of each other, work in the same tiny industry and....this?
TL;DR: | Should I just let this go? How do I go about widening my social circle, exactly? I'm happy that things are going so well for me, but I'd love to have some friends too, lol. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My Boyfriend of six years (20 M) and I (20 F) want to move in together, My parents don't approve. I'm relatively independent of them, should I do it anyways?
POST: I just wanted to get some advice about this whole thing.
I met my boyfriend in middle school, and we've been together ever since. I can't imagine my life without him, and we've talked about it and if living together goes well then he'll propose to me. I'm planning on moving out of my dorm and in with him in his apartment in December.
My parents are dead set against it, and I think I know their reasons. They only vocalized the third one.
1) They never really liked my boyfriend. In high school, he had some issues with depression and anxiety, and there were times when he would be upset and in turn, it would make me upset. However, he didn't want me to tell anyone, including my parents, so my parents thought I was always upset because he was actively treating me badly or something. My boyfriend did end up getting therapy (and medication) and it hasn't been much of an issue since.
2) He dropped out of college freshman year, because he didn't feel like he was getting much out of it. He has a good job with his older cousin, and he makes roughly 50,000 a year, but my parents don't know that, they probably think he's a deadbeat.
3) They are pretty devout Catholics. They probably assumed I was continuing to live that way at school. I never really discussed it with them, I'm pretty sure they assumed I was still a virgin until I told them about moving in with my boyfriend.
The thing is, I'm relatively independent of them. I have a full ride scholarship to school, and I have a part time job where I pay most of my expenses. I want to move in with my boyfriend, should I do it anyways? I know my parents, and they already said that they wouldn't cut me out of their lives or anything, just that they would be disappointed
TL;DR: | For various reasons, including religious ones, my parents don't don't want me to move in with my boyfriend. Should I do it anyways? |
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU by finding my mom's dildo accidentally [NSFW]
POST: So, the story began yesterday(? It's Sunday now at 1am but y'know) on Saturday morning. I was really hungry coz we had nothing to eat in the house coz we never buy anything to eat until my mom goes shopping on the weekends. Coz she's a busy lady.
So anyway, she usually lets me borrow money to walk to the store a few streets down to buy some doughnuts or whatever suits my fancy in the morning, but she had already left for work at 10am and it was like 10:15 or whatever.
So I was sitting there and I remembered her taking them out of a drawer so I went to go open it, right?
Well, I open the drawer and there's nothing there so I go to open the one below it and there's a purple dildo.
Being an 18 y/o female, I can totally understand a woman has her needs, and I know damn well my dad isn't satisfying her since he just plays video games all day, but it did throw me off since. ...I wasn't expecting to find a dildo. I was looking for money, jeez.
TL;DR: | Went to borrow my mom's money for food since she lends it to me, opened drawer to find a dildo. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: [24 M] Severe problems with money and relationships.
POST: My family has been poor for most of my childhood and teenage years, it was especially bad after my father died when I was 9. I was one of the poorest kids in school, didn't have nice clothes, a phone and other stuff like that.
Obviously I was laughed at and bullied and I couldn't do anything because those kids were richer than me and could just beat me up with no consequences. Girls also didn't like me. (what a surprise)
When I was in college I was working as a janitor in a high school. I saw a lot of rich kids and good looking girls, and knew I had no chance, I felt really bad cleaning toilets while they were having fun. Thankfully I was big (from working out and eating) at the time, so at least the little kids were intimidated.
After I finished college, I got a much better paying job. Above average for my country. My mom is also making much more money, her boyfriend is making good too. So it's going well now.
But I still have A LOT of bitterness in me. I hate if there is a girl that likes me, because I know that she wouldn't have liked me in the past if she knew me, and maybe even would have laughed about me or most likely ignored me (I'm OK with that). I don't want to pay a single cent for a girl, I don't want to buy anyone even a cup of tea. I want to become incredibly rich, buy a Rolls Royce and drive around the city laughing about everyone (that's just a dream though probably, but hope stays). I'm now working out even more, I can afford a lot of supplements. I have already grown big while staying fairly lean, and I will achieve a world class physique.
That will be my retribution. I know this is really fucked up, if I spent more time I could even write a "manifesto" and basically I'm afraid of that. I'm not like the "Supreme Gentleman" though. I don't expect anything from girls, I don't care if they like me or not. But I still want to get retribution for the past.
TL;DR: | Kisless 24 year old virgin, was poor as a kid/teenager/college student. Wants to get retribution. Understands it's fucked up, doesn't want to become a "supreme gentleman". |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Today my 10 month old Lab ran away while searching for him I ended up being arrested only to come home to find he'd been hit by a car.
POST: My 10 month old lab broke through our front door screen today. I quickly noticed he was missing walked around our block called his name etc, then went home got in my truck and went looking for him. I stopped at almost everyone I saw and asked if they had scene him a few of them being children. I want to be very clear the conversation i had with all of them being
"hey guy's my dog got out you haven't scene a big brown dog running around?"
"no."
"thanks anyways."
So then out of no where a cop car comes screaming down the block comes up behind me and pulls me over. They ask if I'm the one asking for help looking for my dog (I never asked anyone for help, just if they've scene him.) I say yes they ask me to get out of the vehicle and I'm detained.
I'm brought to the police station put in a holding cell and sit there for upwards of an hour before anyone even talks to me. They tell me they found my tool box in the back of the truck that contained duct tape and other items (I'm an electrician) and that a mother phoned in saying her children we're almost abducted by a man asking for help finding his dog. After a bit of questioning the reluctantly let me go the whole time treating me like a scum of the earth pedophile. I Get back home after almost 3 hours and theres a letter on my front door saying my dog ran into the street ( right by where i was searching) and was struck by a car, the person had brought him to the vet but he ended up passing away.
Now reddit I'm heart broken here I feel like I was guilty until proven innocent. What are my options here do I lawyer up?
TL;DR: | Went looking for missing dog, asked people including kids if theyv'e scene him, get detained, come home to find out dog was killed while i was detained. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [18F] don't know how to make my boyfriend [18M] understand that he isn't a failure, or stupid.
POST: Well to begin there needs to be a bit of history on his sister. She is older by two years, and is a BRAT. Her whole, she has been used to getting everything she wants(being the only daughter of five). So she constantly get moody whenever things don't go her way. So my boyfriend didn't get his diploma on time, but is going back to school to get it. His sister comes back from colleg and loves to make him feel like complete crap. When she gets moody she loves to argue, but more importantly go for low points. So she so happened to argue and mentioned that he is the only dumb one in the family to not graduate. She constantly reminds him of that. She will also tell him things about him never doing anything, and that all he does is make his mom give him money for food, and she tells him in a way that makes him feel useless. However, all she does is sit around all day on her laptop, watching anime. My boyfriend actually helps with yardwork, cleaning, and is currently looking for a part-time job to help with bills. He also is getting his license to help drive her around for errands. His sister always forces the mom to drive her anywhere she wants or it's moody time. I keep reminding him of all the things he does to help while he is looking for a job, while she sits on her lazy butt. I tell him that he is not useless or stupid. He is quite intellegent, and actually is very good at math, but he doesn't believe me. How can I show him he isn't stupid or useless? I also feel the need to mention that while she is away at college, she is always calling the mom for money for "food" and new clothes. It just goes towards cigarettes, and alcohol. The classes she takes are just random ones, because her friends are in them.
TL;DR: | Boyfriend's sister uses him getting his diploma later than usual as an excuse to make him feel stupid and useless, when in reality he's really smart and helps out way more then she does |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My boyfriend (20m) and me (24f) want to have a threesome with a close friend (20m). We don't know if it's a good idea to approach him with this situation.
POST: We have been together for 11 months. We have this friend who seems to OVERLY joke about having sex with my boyfriend. He plays gay chicken a lot and hints a lot of time to sexual things. The problem is we don't know if he is just joking or if he is serious... We want to approach the idea to him and I would want to know your advice and tips about this situation. Do you think he only jokes about it or he hints to it? We don't want to make it awkward if he doesn't want and was only joking... (He has been joking about this for more than 6 months)
TL;DR: | Me (24f) and boyfriend (20m) want to have a threesome with a close friend (20m) but don't know how to approach the question or even if it's a good idea. |
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU by calling up a radio station and cussing them out for being unoriginal.
POST: So this happened today, and it took me two days to realize my mistake. I rarely listen to the radio, only when I'm driving to and from work which is like thirty minutes altogether. So like most people, I have my presets, and I cycle through if there's stuff I don't really like. So yesterday I'm cycling through, and I notice that my #2 preset is playing the exact same music as my #1 preset which just happens, and I think nothing of it. Today, on the way to work, there was nothing good on and once again I noticed #1 was copying #2 again, and it began to bug me. I made it to work and forgot about it, until I commute home from work. Again the same music is playing, and at this point I've had it. I think it's ridiculous that they are playing literally the same songs all the time as this other radio station, so I call in, and they ask me to request a song, and I go off on them for copying the same music as the first preset. They tell me I'm totally wrong and they don't copy music, but it might happen rarely that the same song is playing on two stations. I get all red in the face and hang up, only to realize I've accidentally set the #2 and #1 preset to the same radio station.
TL;DR: | Called up to complain about unoriginal music on radio station. Found out I'm a moron with 2 presets devoted to the same radio station. |
SUBREDDIT: r/dating_advice
TITLE: From friend to suitor to friend
POST: I will try to keep my story as concise as possible. I am a 22 year old male who, in the past year, lost a lot of weight (65lbs) and gained a LOT of confidence. I have known 2 female friends for a while now. I asked out friend A only to be rejected (in the kindest way). We continued to be friends. We had a small fallout last summer and did not talk until we met again for the fall semester. Fast forward to the end of the semester, friend A confesses that she felt uneasy when she heard rumors that I was going out with someone. We had a heart to heart. She had a bad breakup and was unwilling to get into a new relationship and FWB was out of the question because...feelings so we just made out in the end. Next day, she tells me she regrets everything and that we should remain friends.
Confused, I seek advice from mutual friend B (who broke off an engagement around that time). As time went by, we grew closer and realized that we had a lot in common. I quickly became her best friend. Obviously, I fell for her so I decided to ask her out only to find out that she started seeing someone. We still kept in touch until one day, I find out that she stopped seeing the new guy. She proceeds to confess that she is attracted to me. Nothing physical happened with her, however. Once again, she calls things off the next day just like friend A.
These girls are by no means bad people but I can't but wonder if it is me or them. I have always been a great friend but found that as soon as I show vulnerability, they change their minds. What gives? Why the same pattern?
TL;DR: | Was a good friend, admitted my interest, got unfriendzoned and re-friendzoned within 24 hours. Happened with 2 different girls. What gives? Why do they change their minds? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Have you ever been in a relationship, then met someone who completely makes you question your relationship?
POST: Me (23F) dating this guy (24m) for almost a year. I started a new job a few months ago and made friends with a guy (22M) in my office. We've become pretty good friends and ONLY friends.
However, we have a lot more in common than my bf and I. Interested in the same topics, hobbies, movies, music, etc, where my bf and I are polar opposites. And I find lately my bf messing up more than usual and I'm feeling this sense of wondering if the "grass is greener on the other side"...
It also seems kind of like a "if you dont treat her well, someone else will" situation.. So I'm not sure and just asking, has anyone been in this situation? Was it just a crush that passed, or did it really change things?
TL;DR: | In a longish relationship, met a guy at work who I have more in common with and seem to get along with better, which is making me question my relationship. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Does the GOP's conservative double-taxation argument in favor of low capital gains hold any water? (ELI5).
POST: Can someone tell me if the argument that low capital gains taxes are OK because the capital has already been taxed at the corporate level, hold any water?
Besides a couple of low-level econ courses in college years ago, I do not know much about economics.
This may be more of an accounting thing. I would like to hear all sides of this. I would post this is ExplainLikeImFive, but there is not a large subscriber base there.
I'm just trying to get an idea if all this giving money to the job-creator talk has any merit, or if they are omitting information. To me it really seems like Mitt's 13% effective tax rate is very unfair compared to most of us taxed at anywhere from 20-35%. But there may be something I am missing for him to keep saying this like it really is ok. It's really difficult for me to make an informed decision on economics when "experts" from all walks argue in favor of opposing views. Maybe the tax code is too complex (on purpose?)? Maybe it could use a significant simplification (flat consumption tax?) to avoid problems like this. I don't know.
Ethically and morally I know where I stand on social issues. But when it comes to economics, I just do not feel informed enough, so I tend to disregard it as a factor in my decision making process. Although, social issues get significantly more weight than anything else, so it might not even matter anyway. But I still want to better my understanding of some things.
TL;DR: | does the job-creator, double taxation argument in favor of low capital gains taxes hold any water? I know very little when it comes to economics and want to better understand. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: My friend is gay, and is afraid to tell people
POST: This is a throw away account as I might am giving away some information about my friend's personal life. I am asking for help from Reddit because I believe that this website is very supportive and am hoping to find some advice to help my friend.
I live in Malaysia, a country which is made up of mostly Muslim, Chinese and Indian. So, our society does not acknowledge LGBT, and they have no rights, according to [Wikipedia](
My friend lives in Malaysia and is scared of telling people that he is a gay, thinking that his friends and family members might leave him. I only know a few close friends that are alright after being told that he is gay. As for his family, I heard his father saying that he will never forgive his children if they are like that. And also do something bad, like break their leg or something.*(I hope I'm wrong and that I've mixed up my memories)* His mother also does not approve of homos. He has one elder brother, let's call him B for ease of reference, who is bi, and in a relationship, but he is in a country where LGTB has a right.
During a holiday season, his parents went to visit his brother, and found out that he is in a relationship with another guy. His father found out by reading B's messages in his phone. B then told his parents that it was complicated and it wasn't real* (or something like that)*. The lie worked pretty well, as I guessed that his parents wouldn't want to believe it was true in the first place.
After my friend found out, he was reminded of how much his parents disapprove of homos. When they came back from their holiday, the family a mess.
TL;DR: | Friend is gay, family disapproves homo. Scared of telling people around him that he is. I am looking for advice to help*(if this is the correct word)* him |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [25 F] feel like I found my 'one' too early.
POST: This guy (26 M) is my future, I know it (no matter how naive that sounds) and he says I am his too, but I just feel like I met him too early in my life. He's my first everything (late bloomer here) and I feel like I'm missing out on dating all sorts of people and trying other experiences. He's the same way too, he's only ever done anything with me but has no desire to try other people.
I see other guys and I get attracted and can't help but wonder what's sex with him like?
This might also be part that sex with him is far from perfect, but we're constantly working on it.
I can't exactly tell him to wait for me while I try new things. That's just plain selfish, I know.
Do I just banish this nagging feeling to the back of my head?
TL;DR: | I've found the one I want to spend the rest of my life with, but I want to try new things and people I can't just ask him to wait can I? What do I do? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My (26M) wife (24F) ends up crying every time I suggest having sex.
POST: (Using a throwaway account since my wife frequents this subreddit)
Let me start by saying I love my wife very much. We have been married for 6 months now and have been together for almost 5 years. Aside from a lack of sex in our relationship I would have to say that I am very happy with our marriage.
When we first started dating we were having sex constantly, ever time we were together and sometimes multiple times a day. Then when we started living together things slowed down a little, work and stuff getting in the way and all. Skip ahead to more present days and I'm lucky if we have sex once a month (we didn't have sex at all in October). The usual reasons were stuff like too tired, not in the mood, or on her period. Now we get to the crying part, cause whenever she turns me down I accept it and admittedly get a little down and frustrated (which happens when you get rejected), she noticed this and starts to feel bad and frustrated and ends up crying because she turned me down, which in turn makes me feel like an ass for making her cry. This has happened so often I'm starting to consider giving up on trying for sex.
We have had talks about this a few times before, but they almost always end in tears. I love her very dearly, and more than anything else I miss the closeness and intimacy of sex. Thanks for taking the time to read my post, any advice would be greatly appreciated, but the sheer fact of letting this all out has made me feel a little better.
TL;DR: | wife feels bad for turning me down for sex and ends up crying, putting a strain on the intimacy of our relationship. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My[24F] eating disorder ruining 3 year relationship with boyfriend[26M]
POST: I've had an eating disorder for about 8 years. I had been recovered for a year before I met my SO, but the stress of a house move and family problems had caused me to relapse. I currently am at a healthy bmi but am very close to the under weight category.
Anyway the past 4 months I've been getting worse. I'm not really leaving the house and I'm lying constantly about what I'm eating. He struggles the most with my eating because he doesn't know what to do or how to handle it. I've got to that stage where I feel like he's in the way of what I want. On a bad day all I'm thinking about is breaking up with him and getting to the goal I want to achieve. I see him as a problem rather than help and I hate myself for it.
I'm not a nasty or horrible person, but my eating disorder turns me into a manipulative bitch and I'd screw anyone over if I had the chance. I hate being like this because hes such a kind and sensitive person but I don't want to keep putting him through this. I don't want him to have to put up with me anymore.
Just thought I should add that my partner is the most supportive person I have ever had in my life. On a good day when I'm all for recovery he will sit with me and help me and encourage me to do better. Then on bad days he'll help me work around the problem and be there no matter what. I finally feel safe now i have him in my life which is why I don't understand why I'm getting these thoughts.
Oh and I am currently getting help with counselling for any mental health problems i have.
TL;DR: | My eating disorder turns me into a heartless bitch and all I can focus on is leaving my SO for this obsession. How do I deal with these thoughts and focus on not acting upon them when in the right mood? |
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU by not taking care of my mom's cats for 4 days
POST: So last week, my mom asked me to watch her two cats while she and her boyfriend were out of town between Monday evening and Thursday evening (tonight). I had taken care of their cats before, no big deal. The only downside was that this time I would be working all four days, and would only be able to visit them once a day. The boyfriend felt uneasy about that fact and tried to find someone else to do it, but was unable to. So they asked me again - provided that I essentially put out too much food every time I visited.
This is where I fucked up.
I thought to myself on Sunday night, "Ok, I'm working at such-and-such school tomorrow, so I'll be able to swing by mom's place on my way home and take care of the cats." Monday morning came, I went to work, I went home. I blanked on the cats. It didn't even occur to me that I had agreed to take care of them while they were gone. My mom even sent out a group message to myself and my siblings letting us know they had gotten to their destination safely. Still no warning bells went off in my head.
Tonight, my mom called and asked about them. I panicked. I couldn't even think of what days I was supposed to do it. I couldn't even think of what day it was today. As we talked about it, I realized just how incredibly bad of a mistake I had made. I had to ask if they were both still alive. They are, but that doesn't change the fact that I am now an animal abuser.
Mom is too upset for words. Boyfriend will probably never speak to me again. I'll probably not be invited to the wedding when/if that ever happens. I've alienated myself from the only family I ever really talk to anymore. I've lost what little self respect I had for myself. I'm basically as reliable as a meth head.
TL;DR: | I neglected animals when I was their sole source of food and water for 4 days, and now my family rightfully hates me. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [25 M] ended a one-sided relationship with my GF [24 F] of 5 months, and I don't know how to console her..
POST: After a few weeks of dating, I was on the fence about how I felt about her. She is fun to hang out with and I enjoy our time together, but as time went on I realized I had no feelings of attachment toward her.
The problem was that she became very much attached to me. I know I should have ended it sooner rather than later, but she is very nice and I didn't want to see her upset...
Fast forward a few months later and I still haven't developed any significant feelings for her, but now of course she has pretty strong feelings for me. I finally managed to have the break up talk with her, and as expected, she's having a pretty rough time dealing with it.
She doesn't really have friends she can turn to, other than me. It bothers me that she's sad and obviously hurting... but I don't know how I can go about making her feel better and being the friend she needs, rather than the boyfriend she wants.
Another thing: We're both moving to separate countries towards the end of the year(US military stationed overseas). The breakup was pretty much going to happen eventually, and that was more or less understood by both of us. Again, I'm of the mindset that sooner is better rather than later... but I almost feel like somewhat of a jerk for thinking that....
So any advice on how I could help her feel better? Perhaps should I not have ended it yet? I'm at a loss on this..
TL;DR: | My now ex-girlfriend is really upset over the breakup, and I don't want her to be this sad. But I don't know how I should help, and wondering if the breakup was premature. |
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU by Saying NO to Room for Cream
POST: Firstly, it's important to note that this DID in fact happen today.
The story begins with my usual coffee run to Starbucks during the last 20 or so minutes of my lunch break. I ordered a grande dark roast, and when the barista asked if I wanted room for cream, I said no, as I prefer my coffee black. Big mistake apparently.
Unbeknownst to me, the barista damaged the lid when putting it on the cup. He also filled the cup up to the brim. As I began my 15 minute walk back to my office, the SCALDING hot coffee slowly began to leak onto my hand in the 90 degree heat. My hand was covered in coffee by the time I got back.
Next time I'll just ask for room.
TL;DR: | I went to Starbucks on my lunch break and asked for coffee without room for cream. On the walk back to my office, the scalding coffee leaked out of the cup nearly burning my hand. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: What are some fucked up stories your friends have told you that they thought were normal? I'll start.
POST: So the story starts with my three friends Filip, Misha, and Lucas sitting in a McDonald's planning out what they're going to do that night. Misha says he has to take a huge shit and he asks them, "Wouldn't it be so funny if I just shit right on the toilet seat?". I'm not sure that they even know how it went from such a ludicrous proposition to reality, but there they are, not even five minutes later, in the washroom stall and ready to perform the deed.
Misha somehow convinces Lucas and Filip to each take a shit on the toilet seat as well. Misha starts off, leaving a huge, wet mess all over the seat because he had been waiting to go for a while. Filip, seeing this, says there's no way he'll risk getting his ass dirty by shitting near Misha's abomination, so he pulls down his pants and starts shitting *ON THE FLOOR*. While this is happening, some customers want to use the washroom, so Lucas slams the door on them and won't let them in. Filip quickly squeezes out the rest of his shit, wipes, and they all hustle their dirty asses out of there as quickly as possible.
Lucas still says he would have shit had he been given the time. I feel sorry for the poor sap that had to clean all of it up.
TL;DR: | My friends are fucked up and shit ~~in a~~ on the floor and toilet seat of a McDonald's bathroom stall. To this day they still think it wasn't *that* bad. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: My 15-y-o step-sister is abused by her bio-mother. She wants to seek legal emancipation. What does she need to know?
POST: The mother has been psychotic and abusive (emotionally and verbally, but has now moved in to physically occasionally as well) for a long time. My sister wants to get legal emancipation and a restraining order. The problem is that her mother is very smart and very, VERY wealthy. The mother has already spent *huge* amounts of money winning custody battles (and slandering) my sister's bio father.
My sister is worried because her mother is very charismatic in person, and is afraid that if her mother found out that she was trying to escape she would be taken away and put in a world of trouble. Her mother also uses the best lawyers that money can buy. What does my sister need to know about the legal system to get away? What can she do against powerful lawyers and the many character witnesses that her mother can produce about how my little sister is terrible and the mother is long-suffering and wonderful (even though my sister is literally genius level intelligent and obedient to a fault, and the mother is honestly evil)? I am willing to testify on her behalf, and we have one other who can be witness, and she does have a little bit of video footage of her mother blowing up at her but because it was in public it doesn't show how bad it can really get.
My sister is planning on taking a break during school to walk over to the Department of Justice and ask questions to start the process, starting with the question, "what can I tell you, and what information can you give me before you have to notify my legal guardian that I am here".
I know that reddit can't give legal advice, but any information on what her options are, and what questions she should ask would be hugely helpful.
TL;DR: | My little sister needs information to escape a very charismatic, smart, psychotic and wealthy mother who is very abusive in private but in public most people think is wonderful |