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This one's Vivah!
I never like to comment on a good film but when it comes to a bad movie, I gotta come really hard on it.
Talking about Vivah, this guy, Sooraj Badjatya, seems to have completely lost it.
After success of Hum Aapke Hain Kaun, he thought he can make money with cheesy wedding videos.
Vivah is so so cheesy that Badjatyas have left Johars and Chopras behind.
There was not a single moment during the movie where I can say 'Oh!
at least this thing is good.'
Aloknath does cliché in a role of Girl's father, Shahid kapoor looks fat and Shahrukhed, Amrita rao is another disaster in addition to ugly looking sets, bad costumes, hackneyed storyline, monstrous stepmother, trying-hard-to-act actors, cacophonous background music, cheap soundtracks.
Now the spoiler, I'm warning you guys that as happens in all his other movies, after a calamitous incidence movie ends on a happy note.
I won't say this movie was bad, but it wasn't good either.
I expected something good but I guess Hum Aapke Hain Kaun was much better than this.
This was completely old fashioned.
At every stage of this movie, I hoped for some twist and what do I get?
The girl gets burned and wins her aunt's love.
Despite of being engaged, they have to take permission for every little move they make.
They are so darn shy even after so many meetings.
I expected the aunt to be much more brutal than that.
All she did was crib madly.
Hey, we have kids too, but we don't watch them and have tears in our eyes always.
This movie is a dream.
Happy family, one cruel woman, good in-laws and a man who loves her to death.
In HAHK Anupam Kher was the poor bride's father and now it's vice versa.
And I somehow knew that Mohnish Behl would be in this movie.
Anyway I believe I wasted my time.
I give it a 2/10.
A Cinderella story made for adults who live in dreamland.
The romance is very unrealistic, fluttery, lovey dovey, perfect etc.
The Cinderella plot till the very end and Shahid Kapoor is the only reason for my stars.
If you're looking for a dreamy romance with a twist, this is definitely you're movie, but for the rest of us real world people, I'd highly recommend saving your three hour watch time.
Wake up people!
Four out of the five people that saw the film with me would not recommend the film.
We had a great time bashing majority of the unrealistic scenes.
Maybe I'm missing something..
I just can't believe a movie like this can beat a classic like HDDCS!!
After being hugely entertained by Mr. Brosnan's performance as a cad in "The Tailor of Panama" (which I rate 10/10 across the board: casting, acting, script, story, editing, pace, music, emotional impact, etc.), I enthusiastically anticipated this film.
I was hugely disappointed.
It is a script reading not a film, vulgar for the sake of being vulgar, bankrupt in every way that "The Tailor of Panama" is rich and satisfying.
Blame it on the screen writing and directing.
I sat in the theater waiting for the "good part;" it never came.
I neither laughed nor cried, although one line of dialog did make me smile.
Worth $7?
Hardly.
I very nearly walked out, but I'd paid my money, and my nearly-as-disgusted friend wanted to hold out.
After the endearing, wide-eyed innocence of "A New Hope" and the thrilling sophistication of "The Empire Strikes Back," I remember awaiting "Return of the Jedi" with almost aching anticipation.
But from the opening scene of this insultingly commercial sewage, I was bitterly disappointed, and enraged at Lucas.
He should have been ashamed of himself, but this abomination undeniably proves that he doesn't have subatomic particle of shame in his cold, greedy heart.
Episode I would go on to reinforce this fact -- your honor, I call Jarjar Binks (but please issue barf bags to the members of the jury first).
From the initial raising of the gate at Jabba's lair, this "film" was nothing more than a two-plus-hour commercial for as many licensable, profit-making action figures as Lucas could cram into it -- the pig-like guards, the hokey flesh-pigtailed flunky, that vile muppet-pet of Jabba's, the new and recycled cabaret figures, the monsters, etc.
, etc.
, ad vomitum.
Then there were the detestably cute and marketable Ewoks.
Pile on top of that all of the rebel alliance aliens.
Fifteen seconds each on-screen (or less) and the kiddies just GOTTA have one for their collection.
The blatant, exploitative financial baiting of children is nauseating.
Lucas didn't even bother to come up with a new plot -- he just exhumed the Death Star from "A New Hope" and heaved in a boatload of cheap sentiment.
What an appalling slap in the face to his fans.
I can't shake the notion that Lucas took a perverse pleasure in inflicting this dreck on his fans: "I've got these lemmings hooked so bad that I can crank out the worst piece of stinking, putrid garbage that I could dream up, and they'll flock to the theaters to scarf it up.
Plus, all the kiddies will whine and torture their parents until they buy the brats a complete collection of action figures of every single incidental undeveloped, cartoonish caricature that I stuffed in, and I get a cut from every single one.
It'll make me even more obscenely rich."
There may have been a paltry, partial handful of redeeming moments in this miserable rip-off.
I seem to recall that Harrison Ford managed to just barely keep his nose above the surface of this cesspool.
But whatever tiny few bright spots there may be are massively obliterated by the offensive commercialism that Lucas so avariciously embraced in this total, absolute sell-out to profit.
The fine cast cannot uplift this routine tale of a secretary murdered by her married paramour.
In fact there are more questions than answers in this one-sided tale of romance and murder;
and since we are only provided with the prosecution's side, none of these questions will be answered.
This is the type of fare that appeals to the "He Woman, Man Hater" clubs of America.
As presented, it is the tale of an innocent woman who just happens to be "caught up" in a romance with a married, high-profile attorney.
Is it possible that IF, she had not been two timing her boy friend and having an affair with a married man, the whole nasty murderous, sordid incident could have been avoided?
When you watch this, don't worry about going to the 'fridge, you won't miss anything.
This film was choppy, incoherent and contrived.
It was also an extremely mean-spirited portrayal of women.
I rented it because it was listed as a comedy (that's a stretch), and because the cover said Andie McDowell was acting up a storm in it.
She wasn't.
I'm a gal, I watched this film with two guys, and we spent an hour afterwards exclaiming over how bad it was.
WARNING: PLOT SUMMARY BELOW!
RAMPANT SPOILERS!
The movie starts out with a fairly hackneyed plot about an older woman who takes up with a younger man, to the severe disapproval of her two jealous single girlfriends.
They want her to marry a boring guy their own age who is kind of in love with her.
But she's so happy with her oversexed puppy that you're rooting for them to stick it out, and sure enough, she decides to marry the guy.
But her harpy girlfriend, aided by the wishy-washy one, sets up a plot to trick our heroine into thinking the guy is cheating on her.
It works.
She has a fight with him, he runs out of the house and is crushed by a truck (Remember the movie's title?) So now he's dead, two-thirds of the way through the film.
And although our heroine is a school headmistress who spends her time watching over girls, she apparently forgot to use birth control and is pregnant.
She's already broken off relations with her girlfriends, because they were so unsupportive.
Alone and pitiful, she decides to marry the boring guy.
Did I mention that the boring guy who kind of loves her is a minister?
She had asked him to marry her to the young guy (nice, huh?), but now she tells him she'll marry him, and apparently he has no objections to being dicked around in this fashion.
But her girlfriends rescue her at the altar and take her home, where they not-quite-confess that they were mostly responsible for the love of her life getting smushed.
She has the kid.
In the final scene, they leave it in a crib inside her house while they go out on the porch to drink, smoke and be smug.
I kid you not, it's that bad.
I left out the part about the cancer red-herring and the harpy's ridiculous lesbian moment.
This film is a calculated attempt to cash in the success of Sex in the City and Four Weddings and a Funeral.
In fact, if they'd called it Sex at a Funeral, they might have done better at the box office.
But the film falls between two stools and can't get up.
The characters spout improbably bright dialog, but never act in any way remotely recognizable as human.
One arbitrary, senseless action follows another to advance what passes for a plot, and one soon tires of the falsity of the whole enterprise.
Andie MacDowell gets points for acting her little heart out, but the performing honors are stolen by Imelda Staunton, as of all things, a police detective (don't they have a height requirement over there?).
Ms. Staunton seems unable to make a false move.
Would that we could say the same about the writer-director.

This one's Vivah!

I never like to comment on a good film but when it comes to a bad movie, I gotta come really hard on it.

Talking about Vivah, this guy, Sooraj Badjatya, seems to have completely lost it.

After success of Hum Aapke Hain Kaun, he thought he can make money with cheesy wedding videos.

Vivah is so so cheesy that Badjatyas have left Johars and Chopras behind.

There was not a single moment during the movie where I can say 'Oh!

at least this thing is good.'

Aloknath does cliché in a role of Girl's father, Shahid kapoor looks fat and Shahrukhed, Amrita rao is another disaster in addition to ugly looking sets, bad costumes, hackneyed storyline, monstrous stepmother, trying-hard-to-act actors, cacophonous background music, cheap soundtracks.

Now the spoiler, I'm warning you guys that as happens in all his other movies, after a calamitous incidence movie ends on a happy note.

I won't say this movie was bad, but it wasn't good either.

I expected something good but I guess Hum Aapke Hain Kaun was much better than this.

This was completely old fashioned.

At every stage of this movie, I hoped for some twist and what do I get?

The girl gets burned and wins her aunt's love.

Despite of being engaged, they have to take permission for every little move they make.

They are so darn shy even after so many meetings.

I expected the aunt to be much more brutal than that.

All she did was crib madly.

Hey, we have kids too, but we don't watch them and have tears in our eyes always.

This movie is a dream.

Happy family, one cruel woman, good in-laws and a man who loves her to death.

In HAHK Anupam Kher was the poor bride's father and now it's vice versa.

And I somehow knew that Mohnish Behl would be in this movie.

Anyway I believe I wasted my time.

I give it a 2/10.

A Cinderella story made for adults who live in dreamland.

The romance is very unrealistic, fluttery, lovey dovey, perfect etc.

The Cinderella plot till the very end and Shahid Kapoor is the only reason for my stars.

If you're looking for a dreamy romance with a twist, this is definitely you're movie, but for the rest of us real world people, I'd highly recommend saving your three hour watch time.

Wake up people!

Four out of the five people that saw the film with me would not recommend the film.

We had a great time bashing majority of the unrealistic scenes.

Maybe I'm missing something..

I just can't believe a movie like this can beat a classic like HDDCS!!

After being hugely entertained by Mr. Brosnan's performance as a cad in "The Tailor of Panama" (which I rate 10/10 across the board: casting, acting, script, story, editing, pace, music, emotional impact, etc.), I enthusiastically anticipated this film.

I was hugely disappointed.

It is a script reading not a film, vulgar for the sake of being vulgar, bankrupt in every way that "The Tailor of Panama" is rich and satisfying.

Blame it on the screen writing and directing.

I sat in the theater waiting for the "good part;" it never came.

I neither laughed nor cried, although one line of dialog did make me smile.

Worth $7?

Hardly.

I very nearly walked out, but I'd paid my money, and my nearly-as-disgusted friend wanted to hold out.

After the endearing, wide-eyed innocence of "A New Hope" and the thrilling sophistication of "The Empire Strikes Back," I remember awaiting "Return of the Jedi" with almost aching anticipation.

But from the opening scene of this insultingly commercial sewage, I was bitterly disappointed, and enraged at Lucas.

He should have been ashamed of himself, but this abomination undeniably proves that he doesn't have subatomic particle of shame in his cold, greedy heart.

Episode I would go on to reinforce this fact -- your honor, I call Jarjar Binks (but please issue barf bags to the members of the jury first).

From the initial raising of the gate at Jabba's lair, this "film" was nothing more than a two-plus-hour commercial for as many licensable, profit-making action figures as Lucas could cram into it -- the pig-like guards, the hokey flesh-pigtailed flunky, that vile muppet-pet of Jabba's, the new and recycled cabaret figures, the monsters, etc.

, etc.

, ad vomitum.

Then there were the detestably cute and marketable Ewoks.

Pile on top of that all of the rebel alliance aliens.

Fifteen seconds each on-screen (or less) and the kiddies just GOTTA have one for their collection.

The blatant, exploitative financial baiting of children is nauseating.

Lucas didn't even bother to come up with a new plot -- he just exhumed the Death Star from "A New Hope" and heaved in a boatload of cheap sentiment.

What an appalling slap in the face to his fans.

I can't shake the notion that Lucas took a perverse pleasure in inflicting this dreck on his fans: "I've got these lemmings hooked so bad that I can crank out the worst piece of stinking, putrid garbage that I could dream up, and they'll flock to the theaters to scarf it up.

Plus, all the kiddies will whine and torture their parents until they buy the brats a complete collection of action figures of every single incidental undeveloped, cartoonish caricature that I stuffed in, and I get a cut from every single one.

It'll make me even more obscenely rich."

There may have been a paltry, partial handful of redeeming moments in this miserable rip-off.

I seem to recall that Harrison Ford managed to just barely keep his nose above the surface of this cesspool.

But whatever tiny few bright spots there may be are massively obliterated by the offensive commercialism that Lucas so avariciously embraced in this total, absolute sell-out to profit.

The fine cast cannot uplift this routine tale of a secretary murdered by her married paramour.

In fact there are more questions than answers in this one-sided tale of romance and murder;

and since we are only provided with the prosecution's side, none of these questions will be answered.

This is the type of fare that appeals to the "He Woman, Man Hater" clubs of America.

As presented, it is the tale of an innocent woman who just happens to be "caught up" in a romance with a married, high-profile attorney.

Is it possible that IF, she had not been two timing her boy friend and having an affair with a married man, the whole nasty murderous, sordid incident could have been avoided?

When you watch this, don't worry about going to the 'fridge, you won't miss anything.

This film was choppy, incoherent and contrived.

It was also an extremely mean-spirited portrayal of women.

I rented it because it was listed as a comedy (that's a stretch), and because the cover said Andie McDowell was acting up a storm in it.

She wasn't.

I'm a gal, I watched this film with two guys, and we spent an hour afterwards exclaiming over how bad it was.

WARNING: PLOT SUMMARY BELOW!

RAMPANT SPOILERS!

The movie starts out with a fairly hackneyed plot about an older woman who takes up with a younger man, to the severe disapproval of her two jealous single girlfriends.

They want her to marry a boring guy their own age who is kind of in love with her.

But she's so happy with her oversexed puppy that you're rooting for them to stick it out, and sure enough, she decides to marry the guy.

But her harpy girlfriend, aided by the wishy-washy one, sets up a plot to trick our heroine into thinking the guy is cheating on her.

It works.

She has a fight with him, he runs out of the house and is crushed by a truck (Remember the movie's title?) So now he's dead, two-thirds of the way through the film.

And although our heroine is a school headmistress who spends her time watching over girls, she apparently forgot to use birth control and is pregnant.

She's already broken off relations with her girlfriends, because they were so unsupportive.

Alone and pitiful, she decides to marry the boring guy.

Did I mention that the boring guy who kind of loves her is a minister?

She had asked him to marry her to the young guy (nice, huh?), but now she tells him she'll marry him, and apparently he has no objections to being dicked around in this fashion.

But her girlfriends rescue her at the altar and take her home, where they not-quite-confess that they were mostly responsible for the love of her life getting smushed.

She has the kid.

In the final scene, they leave it in a crib inside her house while they go out on the porch to drink, smoke and be smug.

I kid you not, it's that bad.

I left out the part about the cancer red-herring and the harpy's ridiculous lesbian moment.

This film is a calculated attempt to cash in the success of Sex in the City and Four Weddings and a Funeral.

In fact, if they'd called it Sex at a Funeral, they might have done better at the box office.

But the film falls between two stools and can't get up.

The characters spout improbably bright dialog, but never act in any way remotely recognizable as human.

One arbitrary, senseless action follows another to advance what passes for a plot, and one soon tires of the falsity of the whole enterprise.

Andie MacDowell gets points for acting her little heart out, but the performing honors are stolen by Imelda Staunton, as of all things, a police detective (don't they have a height requirement over there?).

Ms. Staunton seems unable to make a false move.

Would that we could say the same about the writer-director.