id text label dimension 0_1 Sure. neutral communication behavior 0_3 Mm-hmm. neutral communication behavior 0_5 Usually three drinks and glasses of wine. neutral communication behavior 0_7 Something like that. neutral communication behavior 0_9 Okay. neutral communication behavior 0_11 Well, I usually drink when I'm at home trying to unwind and I drink while I'm watching a movie. And sometimes, um, I take a bath but I also drink when I take a bath sometimes. neutral communication behavior 0_13 Okay. neutral communication behavior 0_15 Hmm. Seven? neutral communication behavior 0_17 Wow. I knew my doctor didn't like me drinking the amount that I did but I didn't know that seven was the limit. neutral communication behavior 0_19 Yes. What-what kind of health problems? neutral communication behavior 0_21 Hmm. Well, that's not good news. neutral communication behavior 0_23 Well, to be honest, I drink sometimes when I'm feeling down and I find it more interesting and not so blur. neutral communication behavior 0_25 Well, then I feel blur again. neutral communication behavior 0_27 Yes on occasion. neutral communication behavior 0_29 Sometimes I just don't like how much I drink. I sometimes finish a bottle in one night. neutral communication behavior 0_31 No, it's not like I get crazy or anything but I just don't like the amount that I'm drinking. neutral communication behavior 0_33 Mm-hmm. Yes, sometimes I feel worse after drinking. neutral communication behavior 0_35 Well, I don't think that I'm ready to cut down to seven drinks a week. That seems like a lot but I would consider cutting back to two drinks a night. I think that would be my goal. change communication behavior 0_37 I'd say an eight. change communication behavior 0_39 Well, I'm more ready than a six because I'm ready to cut back on my drinking and I don't wanna make my depression any worse. change communication behavior 0_41 Maybe having less wine in the house. change communication behavior 0_43 Yes. change communication behavior 0_45 Well, I like to watch movies, read a book, and take a bath but sometimes I drink when I take a bath. neutral communication behavior 0_47 Mm-hmm. Yes. neutral communication behavior 0_49 Yes. change communication behavior 0_51 Sure. change communication behavior 0_53 Okay. change communication behavior 1_1 Sure. neutral communication behavior 1_3 Yeah, but only on the weekend. sustain communication behavior 1_5 Yeah. Uh, maybe a couple more. neutral communication behavior 1_7 So, uh, are you saying I drink too much? sustain communication behavior 1_9 Well, I-- If-if I was getting fallen down drunk or if I drink every night. Um, it's not like I get sloppy drunk or anything. sustain communication behavior 1_11 So I'm already at the week limit. And then I have four beers a night. Are you sure? sustain communication behavior 1_13 I have five or six beers when I go out with friends to a bar. It's not a problem for me. sustain communication behavior 1_15 Well, I don't consider my drinking binge drinking. sustain communication behavior 1_17 I don't chug a lot of beers in a row. I have about five or six beers throughout the entire evening. sustain communication behavior 1_19 But I'm healthy. What health problems are you talking about? sustain communication behavior 1_21 Well, I didn't know about those things. neutral communication behavior 1_23 Well, I-I like beer. I like the way it tastes, I like the way it makes me feel. Uh, like when I'm around friends and it's not a problem for me. sustain communication behavior 1_25 Well, that was fine until I came here, uh, but now that I know about the health risk, uh, I have something I gotta think about. change communication behavior 1_27 E-exactly. change communication behavior 1_29 Hmm, I'm not sure. Uh, something I have to think about. neutral communication behavior 1_31 Uh, I don't know. Maybe if I got sick or something, uh, maybe I'd wanna change things then. neutral communication behavior 1_33 Yeah. neutral communication behavior 1_35 Sounds good. neutral communication behavior 2_1 Well, doc, I know you told me that I need to lose weight. And even though the scale didn't show today, I was able to lose about 5 pounds, but then I gained it right back. neutral communication behavior 2_3 No, by all means. I know we have to discuss it. neutral communication behavior 2_5 I started watching what I ate and I ate less. I've been eating more fruits and vegetables. I've also been walking a lot. I'm walking up to 20 minutes a day now. I saw the weight come slowly off, um, and I felt better. But then when I watched it come back on again, you know, I gave up. change communication behavior 2_7 I felt great and I felt really proud of myself. I thought that this was something that I could do. change communication behavior 2_9 Well, I think it's because I've been eating more fruits and vegetables, that- that's it. sustain communication behavior 2_11 To be honest, I have four or five -- four to six glasses of orange juice a day. Um, I have fruit for lunch and breakfast. I have, uh, usually one to two servings of a vegetable like lettuce or broccoli with thinner. neutral communication behavior 2_13 No, I didn't know. Um, but doesn't the fruit- food pyramid classify, um, fruit juice as a- a serving? neutral communication behavior 2_15 Well, this changes quite a bit. I mean, here I'm thinking that my fruit intake is making me healthier and actually it's making me fatter. change communication behavior 2_17 Obviously, I need to cut back on the fruit juice. But boy, do I love that OJ. change communication behavior 2_19 Um, six or seven. change communication behavior 2_21 I guess it's because I know that I need to do it to lose the weight. change communication behavior 2_23 Yes. change communication behavior 2_25 Getting the fruit juice of the house because I know if it's there I'll drink it. My wife does the shopping for us, so maybe if I ask her not to get the juice, that would solve it. change communication behavior 2_27 I suppose I could replace it with, um, a low-calorie drink or drink more water. change communication behavior 2_29 I'd say I didn't have any and I substituted it with, um, sugar-free drinks. change communication behavior 2_31 A 10. change communication behavior 2_33 Great. It sounds good to me. change communication behavior 2_35 Okay. neutral communication behavior 3_0 Well see, my-my wife's been getting on me a lot lately about trying to improve my health habits, and I really don't see what the big problem is. I mean, I've been working real hard. Sometimes I can't come home for dinner, so I'm having to go out to eat at Applebee's or something like that, so-- but she seems to have a bigger problem, I really don't see what the big deal is. neutral communication behavior 3_2 I-I-I feel fine. neutral communication behavior 3_4 I mean, my-my work is really man-manual labor-intensive so I'm usually working out in-in the hot sun the majority of the day, so I'm usually sweating out any like bad things I put in my system, so— neutral communication behavior 3_6 Well, a little bit, but nothing too-- you know. I'm not blo- I'm not bloated or anything. neutral communication behavior 3_8 Well, yeah, I've been to the doctor about maybe last year for a physical, but-- I mean, everything showed up to be fine, so— neutral communication behavior 3_10 Yeah. neutral communication behavior 3_12 Well, I mean, not really overreacting. I know that she loves me and I know she-she wants me, uh, you know, live a long time and be healthy, but just sometimes, especially if you work a hard job, like kinda going out to eat at these places kinda makes you feel a little bit better about your situation. neutral communication behavior 3_14 Sure. [unintelligible 00:01:33] neutral communication behavior 4_1 Hi. neutral communication behavior 4_3 Yeah, it's been a while. neutral communication behavior 4_5 Oh, oh, yeah, the—Yeah neutral communication behavior 4_7 About a month. neutral communication behavior 4_9 Yeah. neutral communication behavior 4_11 Um, I don't know. I just felt like something different. I was getting bored and, I don't know, it's kind of nice to stand out a bit, I guess. neutral communication behavior 4_13 Yeah, change. neutral communication behavior 4_15 Thanks. neutral communication behavior 4_17 I don't actually, really. I-I mean, I'm sure that it might push on my gums or teeth, but I don't know how much it will impact that much. I've pretty good teeth. I don't know. neutral communication behavior 4_19 I don't really know [unintelligible 00:01:04] neutral communication behavior 4_21 [laughs] Thanks. neutral communication behavior 4_23 Yeah. neutral communication behavior 4_25 Mm-hmm. neutral communication behavior 4_27 Oh, yeah. neutral communication behavior 4_29 Well, I definitely don't want it mess with my teeth. I know I kinda already have low gums to begin with, like you've been telling me for a while, and I have to flo-floss, which I- change communication behavior 4_31 Um, which I'm not doing but, um, yeah, I guess, I don't really wanna wreck my teeth 'cause-- Yeah, I didn't really notice any of the chipping. change communication behavior 4_33 I guess I'm not paying attention to it. neutral communication behavior 4_35 Mm-hmm. neutral communication behavior 4_37 I don't know, I guess if I started to see that it was actually causing a problem, then I might. change communication behavior 4_39 But for now-- I mean, I just got and- neutral communication behavior 4_41 -and it looks pretty cool. sustain communication behavior 4_43 Yeah, I kinda-- Yeah. neutral communication behavior 4_45 Yeah. neutral communication behavior 4_47 Yeah. neutral communication behavior 4_49 Yeah. I guess if I really start to see a problem-- I mean, this might not last forever, but my teeth, I'm hoping- change communication behavior 4_51 -will kind of stick [unintelligible 00:02:30] neutral communication behavior 4_53 Yeah. neutral communication behavior 4_55 Yeah. neutral communication behavior 4_57 Yeah. neutral communication behavior 5_1 Hi. neutral communication behavior 5_3 Yeah. neutral communication behavior 5_5 Yeah, no, it's easy. neutral communication behavior 5_7 Uh. Meeting's definitely helped. neutral communication behavior 5_9 Yeah. It's helped- neutral communication behavior 5_11 -heaps. neutral communication behavior 5_13 Yeah. neutral communication behavior 5_15 Just, uh, someone to talk to and just someone to keep me busy and, kind of, keep me in check. neutral communication behavior 5_17 Um, well, I said I went to the polytech and stuff- change communication behavior 5_19 -and I went back there and got another form and stuff, and just helping me with that. change communication behavior 5_21 Yeah. neutral communication behavior 5_23 Yeah. neutral communication behavior 5_25 Nah. I didn't really think about it frankly. neutral communication behavior 5_27 I don't know. I just thought if, uh, I could get a job and stuff, doing stuff I like, uh, it'll make things easier. change communication behavior 5_29 Yeah. neutral communication behavior 5_31 Yeah. Oh, I know. After talking to you, I got Donna to help me out, and that's just really helpful. change communication behavior 5_33 [clears throat] neutral communication behavior 5_35 "[clears throat] Oh, I just said-- I said, ""Uh, could you give me a hand with this?""" neutral communication behavior 5_37 And, like, she filled them up for me, and I told her what to write. neutral communication behavior 5_39 Yeah. neutral communication behavior 5_41 Just-- I-I asked her to fill that out for me because I said I'd be too messy. neutral communication behavior 5_43 Yeah. neutral communication behavior 5_45 Yeah. neutral communication behavior 5_47 Like, a big difference, but, like, it's not like I don't try. change communication behavior 5_49 Like, I'm just not really good with it. neutral communication behavior 5_51 Yeah. Like [unintelligible 00:28:13] if I'd got into polytech and stuff, so I think that's good. neutral communication behavior 5_53 Yeah. neutral communication behavior 5_55 They're still at home. neutral communication behavior 5_57 Yeah. If— neutral communication behavior 5_59 Just take them in. change communication behavior 5_61 Yeah. Uh, I think you can post them, but I'll just drop them in. change communication behavior 5_63 Uh, probably by the end of this week. change communication behavior 5_65 Yeah. neutral communication behavior 5_67 I don't know. I don't know if you have to interview or whatever, but I guess, course-- I don't even know any course that I'll do. neutral communication behavior 5_69 Yeah. neutral communication behavior 5_71 Well, um-- Well, I don't know. Hopefully, there's not so much of that stuff. Um, oh, well, I don't know. I could find out maybe someone who can help you, like, at the school, at the polytech, maybe somebody can help you out and stuff, or there might be computers there or something. change communication behavior 5_73 Yeah. neutral communication behavior 5_75 Not really fitting in. It kind of just gets in the way. change communication behavior 5_77 Yeah. change communication behavior 5_79 Like like getting on the piss, but with Donna, there kind of keeps me busy. sustain communication behavior 5_81 Yeah. neutral communication behavior 5_83 Yeah. I just wanna have a bit of a laugh and like go smash some windows or go and nick a car or something, but yeah. It's kind of harder to think straight. sustain communication behavior 5_85 Yeah. change communication behavior 5_87 Yeah. neutral communication behavior 5_89 Yeah. neutral communication behavior 5_91 I'd probably just go be stupid with my mates. sustain communication behavior 5_93 Yeah. 'Cause if there's just like if a mate said they're gonna go out and pick a car or something, she just bumps them out and then-then I don't know. She say that's stupid and stuff. And I don't know. It gives me something to do. change communication behavior 5_95 Just kind of stupid. Well, it's pointless, but still a bit of a laugh. change communication behavior 5_97 Mm. neutral communication behavior 5_99 No. change communication behavior 5_101 Yeah. neutral communication behavior 5_103 Mm. neutral communication behavior 5_105 Yeah. You don't really think about that. Well, just in the moment. sustain communication behavior 5_107 Just have a bit of fun. Not really thinking. sustain communication behavior 5_109 Mm. neutral communication behavior 5_111 No. Just, like, it's not normally my idea, like someone else would just suggest it and you kind of just, yeah. sustain communication behavior 5_113 "Yeah. You can't really be like, ""Oh no,"" just give me shit." sustain communication behavior 5_115 Just like, it can be shit and I still do it. They just-just call me a pussy or whatever and I don't know. And they'd talk me into it probably. neutral communication behavior 5_117 Yeah. neutral communication behavior 5_119 They'd just think I was joking, yeah. neutral communication behavior 5_121 Yeah. neutral communication behavior 5_123 I don't see them as much, but like she gets along with them aye, so- neutral communication behavior 5_125 I don't think, like, I am not sure they like it. sustain communication behavior 5_127 Yeah. neutral communication behavior 5_129 They don't lead me into trouble. But- change communication behavior 5_131 Uh, like it's my choice though, they don't make me. neutral communication behavior 5_133 Yeah. I know it's just having grown up with, it's just what we've always done. neutral communication behavior 5_135 Yeah. neutral communication behavior 5_137 Mm. neutral communication behavior 5_139 My life? Well, what do you mean? neutral communication behavior 5_141 Yeah. neutral communication behavior 5_143 I don't know. Just more or less like if Donna was there and maybe if my mates got some girlfriends or something like that would calm them down too. change communication behavior 5_145 So just hang out instead of go and do stuff, like stupid stuff. change communication behavior 5_147 Yeah, 'cause then we could hang out together and stuff- neutral communication behavior 5_149 -with our girlfriends and stuff. neutral communication behavior 5_151 Yeah. neutral communication behavior 5_153 Yeah. Cause I like I feel guilty not spending my time with, yeah, Donna. Like, I miss my mates, like, I get lonely and stuff, but even though they get me into trouble, but- change communication behavior 5_155 -just, kind of, feel stoked that-that I see them on the weekends and stuff. neutral communication behavior 5_157 It's, like, loyal- neutral communication behavior 5_159 -yes, someone who's got my back. neutral communication behavior 5_161 That's about it. It's-- yeah. neutral communication behavior 5_163 Someone who'll stand up for you. neutral communication behavior 5_165 Yeah. neutral communication behavior 5_167 Yeah. neutral communication behavior 5_169 I mean, support me. neutral communication behavior 5_171 Just don't give me shit about, I don't know. Um, yeah, just, if I- if I don't wanna go do something, don't, like, don't give me shit about it. neutral communication behavior 5_173 Yeah. neutral communication behavior 5_175 Yeah, yeah, they [unintelligible 00:36:38] neutral communication behavior 5_177 Yeah. neutral communication behavior 5_179 Mm. neutral communication behavior 5_181 Just they know that I'm serious. change communication behavior 5_183 I guess, like, if they actually know I'm going to polytech and stuff that they might understand. change communication behavior 5_185 But, like I feel guilty if they wanna go and have fun, and I'm not with them. change communication behavior 5_187 Yeah. neutral communication behavior 5_189 Yeah. Like, just going out with them or spending some times with them-- time with them, but, like, I really wanna spend time with Donna too- change communication behavior 5_191 -so, it'd be cool if we could spend time together, like, with Donna and my mates. change communication behavior 5_193 Yeah. neutral communication behavior 5_195 Yeah, like-- Well, I know I get into trouble with them, but they're still my mates, and I- sustain communication behavior 5_197 -feel-- neutral communication behavior 5_199 Yeah. neutral communication behavior 5_201 No. change communication behavior 6_1 No problem. neutral communication behavior 6_3 Yeah, it's-it's a bit of an inconvenience I'd say, but I'm here though. neutral communication behavior 6_5 Mm-hmm. neutral communication behavior 6_7 I don't know, something about changing my life even more. You know, the smoking's been changed, and now it's, you know, cut down the drinking, get rid of those extra smokes, get rid of my dog. I don't know what else have to do. sustain communication behavior 6_9 Yeah, there's a lot of stress too. My wife's still on maternity leave, she's not getting paid, she's with the baby right now. And I'm the only person that's working right now, and plus I got to change all these things that are going on in my life. sustain communication behavior 6_11 Yeah, it's a lot. neutral communication behavior 6_13 Yeah, yeah, it is overwhelming. It is. neutral communication behavior 6_15 Yeah, it just feels like everything's all over the place but I guess we got to start somewhere. neutral communication behavior 6_17 Mm-hmm. neutral communication behavior 6_19 Okay. neutral communication behavior 6_21 Okay. Um, okay, that sounds good. As long as I'm not changing anything and we're just kind of putting, um, I guess, pen to paper or something. neutral communication behavior 6_23 Um, okay, so my asthma. neutral communication behavior 6_25 Yeah. neutral communication behavior 6_27 Um, the fact that they want me to get rid of Oscar, that's-that's my dog. sustain communication behavior 6_29 Well, he's-- Yeah, he's saying it's a main-- It's a main contributor to my asthma problems. neutral communication behavior 6_31 Which I don't- I don't- I don't- I don't buy it and I can't just get rid of him like that, but it's something that's there. sustain communication behavior 6_33 Yeah. The dog has been there before my wife. I know I've had him longer. sustain communication behavior 6_35 Yeah. Yeah, it's- it's a big stress, it's like my best friend, so that's one of the important things. Also, I guess, cutting down these last cigarettes I've been working on. neutral communication behavior 6_37 Um, finances is a problem right now too. neutral communication behavior 6_39 Time, I got to come to all these appointments and I'm taking time off work, which obviously is the money factor, right? neutral communication behavior 6_41 Mm-hmm. neutral communication behavior 6_43 Yeah, yeah. Yeah, there's something going on. And, um, also my drinking, I got to cut down my drinking too. neutral communication behavior 6_45 No. It's just overwhelming when you see them everything they're, you know? sustain communication behavior 6_47 I think- I think the thoughts about the dog has been definitely bothering me, that's been one. neutral communication behavior 6_49 And, um, my-my asthma is out of control too. So maybe those two. change communication behavior 6_51 Mm-hmm. neutral communication behavior 7_1 Um, it's really stupid. Uh, I was at a pub crawl last night and you know how pub crawls are. You have a few drinks and then I thought it was a really good idea to catch up with my friends who are, yeah, they're in front of me. So I just like jumped off the stairs of the bus and I was wearing these like stilettos 'cause it was a 90s-themed pub crawl. Anyway, and then I just like fell on my ankle. It was really embarrassing. neutral communication behavior 7_3 Yeah. neutral communication behavior 7_5 It was a lot of fun but I didn't do any dancing after that. neutral communication behavior 7_7 Uh, sure, uh, as long as we don't talk too much about like vodka 'cause I'm still, ugh, a little— neutral communication behavior 7_9 Yeah. neutral communication behavior 7_11 A little bit. neutral communication behavior 7_13 Yeah. neutral communication behavior 7_15 Well, it's normal. sustain communication behavior 7_17 Um, well, me and my friends kinda, uh, we party on the weekend and, you know, we're all university students and so it's just normal, um, to have a few drinks. sustain communication behavior 7_19 No. neutral communication behavior 7_21 Um, per night, uh, like if we go out oh, it's a lot. It's like I can drink probably like seven or eight drinks like if I'm going hard. Um, and then, you know, like maybe when I get home from school, a long day at the library, have a beer or two, so. neutral communication behavior 7_23 No. I-I don't know. It's normal for university students I feel. sustain communication behavior 7_25 Yeah. neutral communication behavior 7_27 Yeah, sure. neutral communication behavior 7_29 Yeah. neutral communication behavior 7_31 Oh really? neutral communication behavior 7_33 Wow. neutral communication behavior 7_35 Uh, uh I would say a little over that. neutral communication behavior 7_37 Especially with midterms coming up. neutral communication behavior 7_39 Yeah. neutral communication behavior 7_41 Yeah. Yeah, I guess. neutral communication behavior 7_43 Um, I mean, the 10 drinks seems like not a lot, uh, for like-for me and like my tolerance. sustain communication behavior 7_45 I guess I've kind of built it up over the years. neutral communication behavior 7_47 Um, so that's a little- a little bit, uh, concerning I guess to me. change communication behavior 7_49 Uh, any reason to? Uh, I guess health-health reasons. change communication behavior 7_51 Um, well, I mean, clearly I don't feel good right now. Um, and it's-- I definitely feel more productive when I don't have a hangover. Uh, so I see a benefit. change communication behavior 7_53 Yeah. change communication behavior 7_55 Yeah change communication behavior 7_57 Yeah, yeah, I think when I'm feeling a little- a little better. Maybe when I haven't gone all out the-the night before and sprained my ankle. neutral communication behavior 7_59 Okay, okay. neutral communication behavior 7_61 Sure. Yeah, just not on a Saturday morning. [chuckles] neutral communication behavior 7_63 Okay. neutral communication behavior 7_65 Yeah. Sounds good. neutral communication behavior 8_1 Yeah. Yeah, well, the only reason I'm here is 'cause my wife thinks I've got a problem with smoking. I've been smoking all my life and, uh, six months ago, uh, she thought, she got into this health kick, right? And now everyone who smokes is evil. And, uh, so that's why I'm here just to please her, get her off my back and— sustain communication behavior 8_3 Yeah. That's an understatement. I mean, I'm supposed to be at work right now, too, right? So- neutral communication behavior 8_5 Yeah, yeah. I'm only here because my wife forced me to come, you know. Like this has come to a head six months of just nagging me, relentless every day, because she was able to quit smoking and now I have to quit. sustain communication behavior 8_7 Well, she's concerned about my health and she cuts out all these articles from the paper about second-hand smoke and— change communication behavior 8_9 Yeah, I've got to read this. That's my reading assignment for breakfast and I want to go out and have-- We used to go out and have a cigarette together at the table. Now I have to go outside in this weather, you know, what's that about? And she used to smoke more than me and now she's like holier than now? neutral communication behavior 8_11 And she's got my kids on this against me, you know, my son and my daughter, they're, it's like, they're ganging up on me, you know what I mean? neutral communication behavior 8_13 Well, the big one of course is how it's affecting my wife and the family. Like my dad's 85, he still smokes. I mean, yeah, you know, sometimes I thought of quitting, but I mean, I don't know. I don't know if I can-- I don't know if I can quit. change communication behavior 8_15 Yeah. neutral communication behavior 8_17 Yeah. Yeah. I-I'm just, I don't want to lose her or my family over smoking. change communication behavior 8_19 Well, yeah, I mean, we've been married over 25 years, and uh, we've never had any major problems. Like this is-- this is the first problem. I don't even really see it as a problem cause we used to both smoke and I was trying to accommodate them by smoking outside, but it's feeling like we're going like this and I'm just concerned, like if this keeps going, like. change communication behavior 8_21 So, I can actually do it that way like gradual taber? neutral communication behavior 8_23 I wish my wife could have come today cause she's feels after like, just stop like right away. So do you think she could come with me at a future appointment or something and she could hear that message? neutral communication behavior 8_25 Okay. I'll have to talk to her as well because their schedule changes from week to week, she works shifts, so I'll call you back tomorrow and we'll set something up. neutral communication behavior 8_27 All right. neutral communication behavior 8_29 Okay. Thanks. neutral communication behavior 11_1 They found a little bag of weed. neutral communication behavior 11_3 It's not a lot though. sustain communication behavior 11_5 It's not like I was gonna sell it or anything. It's like— sustain communication behavior 11_7 Yeah, whatever, you know. It's California, no one cares. sustain communication behavior 11_9 How long is this gonna take? neutral communication behavior 11_11 I just wanna get whatever I need to get done, done. neutral communication behavior 11_13 Yeah neutral communication behavior 12_1 Yeah, I guess. neutral communication behavior 12_3 Yeah, um, normally, I'm smoking, you know, like once in the morning, uh, once during my lunch break and then in the evening maybe like five or six. neutral communication behavior 12_5 Yeah. neutral communication behavior 12_7 Um, honestly, it's probably been over the past year or so that I- I've been smoking a little bit more. neutral communication behavior 12_9 Yeah. Um, I have a two-year-old son as I mentioned, so I try to never smoke around him. So I'm normally kinda waiting until he gets to bed. neutral communication behavior 12_13 Mm-hmm. neutral communication behavior 12_15 Um, I mean, maybe I'll have like a drink or two. neutral communication behavior 12_17 Um, maybe like two max. neutral communication behavior 12_19 I don't know. I mean, I don't really get why you're asking me that. I mean, I just came here, you know, for a regular visit. I-I am not here to talk about my drinking. neutral communication behavior 12_21 Yeah, I guess. neutral communication behavior 12_23 Yeah. neutral communication behavior 12_25 Well, I-I'm just kinda surprised because, I mean, I don't smoke or drink that much. And I mean, compared to people I work with, you know, I-I smoke a lot less, and I feel like I've actually been trying to keep it pretty low. sustain communication behavior 12_27 Yeah. neutral communication behavior 12_29 Um, maybe like a five. neutral communication behavior 12_31 Well, I mean, you brought up some kinda scary stuff like, you know, cancer risk or other things like that. And you know, being a mother, I-I don't want something to happen to me obviously. change communication behavior 12_33 Well, I mean, I could maybe try to cut back in the evenings a little bit. change communication behavior 12_35 Well, right now, if I'm having like five or six, I could try to smoke three in the evening plus, you know, still the couple during the day. change communication behavior 12_37 Yeah. Sure. neutral communication behavior 12_39 Yeah, I-I think that would be very helpful. neutral communication behavior 12_41 Mm-hmm. neutral communication behavior 12_43 Well, what-what for exactly? neutral communication behavior 12_45 Mm-hmm. neutral communication behavior 12_47 I mean, I would like to talk about, you know, my stress, but I'm still not sure with the whole drinking thing. neutral communication behavior 12_49 I don't think so. neutral communication behavior 12_51 Okay. neutral communication behavior 13_1 Oh, I-I don't know if I'm comfortable with that. I've been reading a bunch of stuff lately about them. sustain communication behavior 13_3 Uh, yeah, well, I was just- I was reading that it's better to let them build up their immunity, like, naturally and stuff in their immune systems. sustain communication behavior 13_5 Well, yeah. I mean, I had chickenpox as a kid, and now I'm immune. Right? So. sustain communication behavior 13_7 Uh, okay. neutral communication behavior 13_9 Wow, I didn't realize it was so dangerous. I've never heard of polio. neutral communication behavior 13_11 Uh, I guess it's okay. I mean, I just I want her to be healthy and safe. change communication behavior 13_13 Yeah, I just want to do what's right. change communication behavior 14_1 Yeah, I guess so. change communication behavior 14_3 Yeah. change communication behavior 14_5 Right now, I'm probably- neutral communication behavior 14_7 -gonna say a six. neutral communication behavior 14_9 But I know when I go home and I see the food, it's probably gonna drop back down to a four. sustain communication behavior 14_11 Right? neutral communication behavior 14_13 I guess. neutral communication behavior 14_15 Because I've been wanting to do this for-for years, like- change communication behavior 14_17 -ever since I started becoming conscious of my body. change communication behavior 14_19 Like ever since I started being a teen, like this has always been a goal of mine, like, especially 'cause all my friends play soccer, and like- change communication behavior 14_21 -hike, and are like super stick-thin but really healthy and active. change communication behavior 14_23 And so I'm just sort of like, well, I'm not. neutral communication behavior 14_25 But I want to be like-- I don't want to be like stick-thin, but I really want to be like really healthy and really active. change communication behavior 14_27 And like be able to look nice, you know. change communication behavior 14_29 I wanna be able to look nice. change communication behavior 14_31 I don't even really know- neutral communication behavior 14_33 -honestly. Like, I mean, I know I'm gonna have to keep like telling myself like- change communication behavior 14_35 -like this is something that you want- that you've wanted- change communication behavior 14_37 -for years. change communication behavior 14_39 Like, you can do it. Because like- change communication behavior 14_41 I know I can do it. Like I can do anything. change communication behavior 14_43 I can do anything- change communication behavior 14_45 -I know that. But it's hard getting to the point where I- sustain communication behavior 14_47 -do something. sustain communication behavior 16_1 Oh, it's a nice place. It's close to work. It's good living with a mate. neutral communication behavior 16_3 Yeah. neutral communication behavior 16_5 That's the thing, isn't it? I am-- I don't know if it's the best place for me to be if I'm gonna make those changes. change communication behavior 16_7 And Tristan is a good flatmate. sustain communication behavior 16_9 I have no-- We're going in different-different directions now. He doesn't have the same kind of responsibilities I have and stuff, and so-- And I can't expect him to change his whole life around, just because I wanna change mine. change communication behavior 16_11 I just-- I don't know how keen I am to move in with my- with my aunty and uncle, though. neutral communication behavior 16_13 I sit down and talk with him, asked him for, um, for support and stuff and he's fully, he says fully he'll be there for me. But, like I said, he's, um, he's in a different place in his life than I am in mine. change communication behavior 16_15 He doesn't have kids. neutral communication behavior 16_17 He doesn't-- I don't know if he can really understand what it means to me. Um, he's a good mate. neutral communication behavior 16_19 The food would be good. Um, I get- I get support with-- my whānau is really supportive, but I'm- I'm worried about losing- I'm worried about losing my freedom. I'm worried about, um, about them taking over, or, you know what I mean? I have a freedom where I am now, I'm in charge of myself. That would probably be really good. neutral communication behavior 16_21 I don't wanna hang on to freedom if it this- if it means that I lose my kids. Um, I'm just, uh, I'm just worried about-- I'm worried about if I move in with family, that they, even if their intentions are good- change communication behavior 16_23 I don't know. I'll do anything to get my kids back. change communication behavior 18_1 I don't really know what issues I need to sort. neutral communication behavior 18_3 I don't really know what issues I need to- neutral communication behavior 18_5 -sort. It's just a bit of cash. neutral communication behavior 18_7 So— neutral communication behavior 18_9 Mm-hmm. neutral communication behavior 18_11 Um, I don't think there is much to sort. I have a few drinks like everybody else my age. neutral communication behavior 18_13 Pokies are at the pubs for the thrills, it's no worries. sustain communication behavior 18_15 It's not an issue. sustain communication behavior 18_17 Uh, I suppose when you've got no money in the pocket at the end of the night. change communication behavior 18_19 And some nights you do, so. change communication behavior 18_21 Well, I don't really keep track. neutral communication behavior 18_23 I don't know. A few times a week. neutral communication behavior 18_25 I don't know. It's if you're at the pub, you're, you know, that-that you're out there. sustain communication behavior 18_27 Mm-hmm. neutral communication behavior 18_29 Mm-hmm. neutral communication behavior 18_31 I don't know. A few times, probably when I have it, I might drink a drink. neutral communication behavior 18_33 Yeah. neutral communication behavior 18_35 It's the unlucky ones. sustain communication behavior 18_37 Mm. neutral communication behavior 18_39 A bit of a rush, I suppose. sustain communication behavior 18_41 Yeah, I suppose. neutral communication behavior 18_43 I don't know, I suppose it's lead me to be here, maybe. I don't know. sustain communication behavior 18_45 Mm-hmm. neutral communication behavior 18_47 Much the same, bunch of party girls. neutral communication behavior 18_49 Um, I don't know. I suppose they walk away a bit quicker than me. neutral communication behavior 18_51 Sarah. neutral communication behavior 18_53 I don't know. neutral communication behavior 18_55 We'd just have a laugh. neutral communication behavior 18_57 Uh, no friends or friends should-- She accepts me for who I am. neutral communication behavior 18_59 Mm-hmm. neutral communication behavior 18_61 At times. neutral communication behavior 18_63 I don't know. You don't have any money, so-- And that she-she'll probably be quite happy if I stopped. neutral communication behavior 18_65 But, um, I don't know. She-she doesn't really discuss it with me. neutral communication behavior 18_67 Mm. neutral communication behavior 18_69 Mm. change communication behavior 18_71 Um, I don't know if pfft-- maybe I wouldn't be here if it wasn't for gambling 'cause- change communication behavior 18_73 -you know, suppose in some way, I took the money for-for that but I don't know, you know? It's just a few dollars here and there and I didn't really think about it at the time, so- neutral communication behavior 18_75 -I don't know. neutral communication behavior 18_77 I don't know. I-I don't think it would have been too much of a problem. I mean I'm not a bad person, I wouldn't have, you know, wouldn't have continued to steal. It was just at the time that I was going through a rough patch. I wasn't intending to make it a long-term thing. change communication behavior 18_79 Yeah. change communication behavior 18_81 I don't know, you tell me. neutral communication behavior 18_83 Uh, I suppose I didn't expect the-the money would've added up to what it did, so I guess, at the time, I- [sighs] I wasn't thinking of the reality of it, you know, building up, so- neutral communication behavior 18_85 -you know, it did, so I'm here- neutral communication behavior 18_87 -so, I suppose— neutral communication behavior 18_89 It's a couple of grand or something. neutral communication behavior 18_91 Well, that a little bit here, a little bit there is nothing I didn't work for. [chuckles] I worked [unintelligible 00:10:35] and I was getting paid $18 an hour- neutral communication behavior 18_93 -$25, you do the math. [chuckles] And that's gonna support me? neutral communication behavior 18_95 I don't know. I'm usually an open person. [chuckles] neutral communication behavior 18_97 Just provided it will help me deal with it. change communication behavior 18_99 Yeah. neutral communication behavior 18_101 I don't know. I am just usually pretty open with people. It's a bit different here tonight and- neutral communication behavior 18_103 -just not knowing what to expect then— neutral communication behavior 18_105 I don't know. I suppose I'm saying that the money did add up, and that was enough for me to end up here, so- neutral communication behavior 18_107 -I suppose I'm here for a reason. [chuckles] neutral communication behavior 18_109 I didn't have a choice. [chuckles] neutral communication behavior 18_111 Mm. neutral communication behavior 18_113 Mm. neutral communication behavior 19_1 Yeah. I-I just-- I can't shoplift anymore. You know, I got- I got caught again. And uh, you know, I-I got suspended, I got back to school, so I'm-I'm uh-- I'm gonna mess up my whole life here, unless I can stop this. change communication behavior 19_3 Yeah, it's bad. My friends and I, we just-- I mean, it's fun and uh-- so I don't know what to do, but I- but I gotta change. change communication behavior 19_5 I want it. change communication behavior 19_7 Yeah. change communication behavior 19_9 Right. I don't know what I'm gonna do, I got some friends. These guys are-- they're bad news, but they're my friends. sustain communication behavior 19_11 And, uh, and it's fun. sustain communication behavior 19_13 You know? neutral communication behavior 19_15 Nothing-nothing much else going on that's as fun as this. We go in, we steal these CDs. It was working out fine, but— sustain communication behavior 20_1 Okay. neutral communication behavior 20_3 Well, um, It's just me and him and I do smoke. Um, I try really hard not to smoke around him, but I-I've been smoking for 10 years except when I was pregnant with him. But it-- everything is so stressful being a single mom and-and my having a full-time job. And so it's just-- that's why I started smoking again. sustain communication behavior 20_5 Yeah. Some people have a glass of wine. I have a cigarette. sustain communication behavior 20_7 I know it's not good for him. I mean, I've read those things about ear infections and asthma and stuff and-and, uh, but other kids have ear infections and their parents don't smoke. change communication behavior 20_9 Right. Yeah. I mean, he doesn't have asthma. Yeah. He-- I don't-- he hasn't had a lot of other problems that his other friends have, so. And I've thought about quitting before in the past, but I just don't- I just don't see how it's possible right now. sustain communication behavior 20_11 Well, he was inside me and we were sharing everything and I knew that he would get some of that. And I didn't-- I just didn't-didn't think I could live with myself if something happened to him. neutral communication behavior 20_13 Yeah, exactly. sustain communication behavior 20_15 I don't know. I-I think about it now, I don't even know how I did it. I just- I just did it. You know, I just- I just couldn't imagine like him not being born or going into labor early- neutral communication behavior 20_17 "-and-and him having problems and stuff like that, all the stuff that they talk about with women who smoke. So I-- that was just enough to-to say, ""Okay, you know what, I'm-I'm not going to risk that."" so." neutral communication behavior 20_19 Yeah. neutral communication behavior 20_21 No, I mean, we're two separate people. And like I said, I don't, I try really hard not to smoke around him. I'm pretty good about that. I-I don't let other people smoke around him. Um, so I, you know. change communication behavior 20_23 Yes. neutral communication behavior 20_25 "Yeah. I-I know that I need to, and I, you know, keep every new year I say, ""Okay, this year I'm gonna quit smoking"" but then something happens and it-it just doesn't. And quitting doesn't happen." change communication behavior 20_27 Yeah. neutral communication behavior 20_29 Probably like a 5 . Kind of in the unsure area. Like I know I've done it before, so I know I can do it, but at the same time, it just seems really hard. And it's not the same situation. sustain communication behavior 20_31 I know- I know all the ways it's bad for me. And I don't want him to grow up thinking that it's okay to smoke. I don't want him to-to use any kind of-- I don't want him to chew or anything like that. Um, so I know I need to, especially before he gets old enough to understand what mommy's doing, but I just don't know if I can do it. change communication behavior 20_33 Yeah. neutral communication behavior 20_35 I don't know. I-I'd like some help. I just don't know what kind of help I need. change communication behavior 20_37 I don't like medicine. neutral communication behavior 20_39 That sounds nice, but I'm not sure if I have the time for all that. neutral communication behavior 20_41 That would be really nice. neutral communication behavior 20_43 I would like that. That would be great. neutral communication behavior 20_45 Thank you. neutral communication behavior 21_1 Hi. neutral communication behavior 21_3 Yeah. neutral communication behavior 21_5 Okay. neutral communication behavior 21_7 Yeah. neutral communication behavior 21_9 Well, my name is Laura. I'm 17 years old, and I'm a senior in high school. neutral communication behavior 21_11 Well, hopefully, go to college, get, you know, good enough grades to go to college. neutral communication behavior 21_13 Yeah. neutral communication behavior 21_15 Yeah. neutral communication behavior 21_17 Um, I'm not sure yet. Maybe a few schools in the area, I'm looking maybe to apply out-of-state. neutral communication behavior 21_19 So, maybe move away for college. neutral communication behavior 21_21 Yeah. neutral communication behavior 21_23 Yeah, definitely. neutral communication behavior 21_25 Yeah, maybe um, pre-law. neutral communication behavior 21_27 Yeah. neutral communication behavior 21_29 Well, um, on the weekends I like to hang out with my friends, maybe go to like a party, or go to the mall to shop, or if there's like a school-related event, we'll go to like a football game or- neutral communication behavior 21_31 -something like that, yeah. neutral communication behavior 21_33 Yeah. neutral communication behavior 21_35 Um, I would say like a moderate amount. I'm not really-really popular or like, I have no friends. neutral communication behavior 21_37 So, I'm like normal. neutral communication behavior 21_39 Yeah. neutral communication behavior 21_41 Yeah. [chuckles] neutral communication behavior 21_43 Um, they're pretty good, As and Bs. So, I'm doing okay. neutral communication behavior 21_45 Through college. neutral communication behavior 21_47 Um, family definitely, uh, friendship, and belonging. neutral communication behavior 21_49 Yeah. neutral communication behavior 21_51 Well, I-I love them, so I want them to think well of me- neutral communication behavior 21_53 -and I want them to, um, be accepting and love me. change communication behavior 21_55 Yeah, I have one sister. neutral communication behavior 21_57 Friendship, um, I've-I've grown close to many people that I care about. So, I would like them to be accepting of me as well. neutral communication behavior 21_59 Yeah. neutral communication behavior 21_61 Yeah, just a sense of like fitting in and not-- And like getting accepted- neutral communication behavior 21_63 -in general, yeah. neutral communication behavior 21_65 Yeah. neutral communication behavior 21_67 Um, not much, maybe like one or two drinks at the most. sustain communication behavior 21_69 Um, I pretty much just have a drink to just have it like, so it looks like I'm drinking, even though I'm not. neutral communication behavior 21_71 So maybe people won't bug me about drinking or something. change communication behavior 21_73 Yeah just- neutral communication behavior 21_74 -kinda hold a drink. neutral communication behavior 21_75 -have one there and pretending to have it. neutral communication behavior 21_77 Yeah. neutral communication behavior 21_79 Um. neutral communication behavior 21_81 Maybe one or two weekends a month at the most? neutral communication behavior 21_83 Not really much. sustain communication behavior 21_85 Yeah. neutral communication behavior 21_87 Well, just I guess, at a party or something, someone's house. neutral communication behavior 21_89 Or, even if it's not a party, like a small social gathering, maybe there'll be like a few beers around- sustain communication behavior 21_91 -or something. neutral communication behavior 21_93 Pretty much, yeah. neutral communication behavior 21_95 Um— neutral communication behavior 21_97 Mostly just with us, but, sometimes I'll go to like a close friend's house and like I'm close to a family as well. So, we'll all just hang out. neutral communication behavior 21_99 Um, like drunk driving? neutral communication behavior 21_101 Um, definitely not. I've never drunk-driven, and I've never been in a car with a drunk driver. neutral communication behavior 21_103 Yeah, because I know that's extremely dangerous, so. neutral communication behavior 21_105 Um, well, alcohol definitely impairs your judgment. So, I mean, driving under the influence of alcohol can lead to like crashes and accidents and things like that, so I'd rather not be in that situation. neutral communication behavior 21_107 Yeah. change communication behavior 21_109 Yeah, definitely. neutral communication behavior 21_111 Thank you. neutral communication behavior 21_113 Not more than two drinks. sustain communication behavior 21_115 Yeah. neutral communication behavior 21_117 Um, I've never really been drunk- sustain communication behavior 21_119 -so, I can't really say that I like that feeling or not, but, it's just like-- I mean, you're just in a good mood. sustain communication behavior 21_121 So. neutral communication behavior 21_123 Yeah, yeah, relaxed. sustain communication behavior 21_125 Um, no, not really. Like I said, I don't drink that much- sustain communication behavior 21_127 So, I-I wouldn't be able to tell you. neutral communication behavior 21_129 Um, definitely, yeah. I mean, when I'm at parties and stuff and it's getting a little later, some people, um, that drink-- Like, drank too much, they start throwing up, or they get hurt, or they're really loud and obnoxious, and that's not fun for anybody. change communication behavior 21_131 Yeah. neutral communication behavior 21_133 Yeah. neutral communication behavior 21_135 Yeah. neutral communication behavior 21_137 Um, no, I mean, I've never, you know, been friends with anybody that's gotten into like a serious accident and stuff. It's just- sustain communication behavior 21_139 -very, like, obnoxious things. neutral communication behavior 21_141 Yeah. neutral communication behavior 21_143 Um, I know it's definitely risky, but, I mean, I guess, we still do it. [chuckles] sustain communication behavior 21_145 It's just there. sustain communication behavior 21_147 Um, well, definitely not in my family life, because my parents don't really condone- neutral communication behavior 21_149 -alcohol use, but, friendships, I mean, when I'm hanging out with my friends, or we're at a party or something, there's usually alcohol involved. sustain communication behavior 21_151 Yeah. neutral communication behavior 21_153 I guess, I mean, since it's just there. sustain communication behavior 21_155 So- neutral communication behavior 21_157 -it ties in with the whole belonging thing. sustain communication behavior 21_159 Um, it probably will have a very small role, if any- change communication behavior 21_161 -in my life, considering I have big plans for my future. So. change communication behavior 21_163 I mean, I don't think I would be, you know, drinking as much or going to parties as much if I'm studying for school, or in college, or trying to get in law school and things like that. change communication behavior 21_165 Yeah, definitely. change communication behavior 21_167 Um, maybe less than I am now. I mean, I don't drink much anyway, so- change communication behavior 21_169 -maybe, like, one drink every once in a blue moon. change communication behavior 21_171 Yeah, definitely. change communication behavior 21_173 For sure. change communication behavior 21_175 Well, I mean, I guess right now I would try to stop in high school, and once I get older, maybe just like, socially once in a while, but not anything big or anything. change communication behavior 21_177 Definitely, yeah. That's a good word. change communication behavior 21_179 Maybe a five or six. neutral communication behavior 21_181 Because, um, it's not something I do not care about at all, but it's not something that's just constantly on my mind that I want to change about myself. change communication behavior 21_183 Yeah, yeah. Definitely. change communication behavior 21_185 Um, I'm pretty confident that I can considering that I'm not really an alcohol user per se. change communication behavior 21_187 I'm not really into that whole scene, so, it's-it's not gonna bedifficult for me. change communication behavior 21_189 Um, on a scale of 1 to 10- neutral communication behavior 21_191 -if I can quit or not? neutral communication behavior 21_193 Maybe like an 8 or 9. change communication behavior 21_195 Because, like I said, it's not a big part of my life. So, it's not really that difficult change communication behavior 21_197 Yes. change communication behavior 21_199 Um, probably to stop, maybe next party I go to, not have a drink at all. change communication behavior 21_201 Yeah. I mean, I can just tell my friends-- My pa-- My friends aren't really that pressuring. change communication behavior 21_203 It's just like outside people that I don't really know that well. neutral communication behavior 21_205 "So, I could just tell them, ""Hey, I don't feel like having a drink today.""" change communication behavior 21_207 Um, definitely, I'll have like all my senses there and I'll be aware of everything that's going on. change communication behavior 21_209 Um, health concerns, I guess. I know alcohol is bad for your health. change communication behavior 21_211 So, that would be one. change communication behavior 21_213 Yeah. change communication behavior 21_215 Yeah, that would be okay. neutral communication behavior 21_217 Yeah. change communication behavior 21_219 Right. change communication behavior 21_221 Um, how would you, um, advise me to like get maybe my friends to stop drinking? change communication behavior 21_223 Okay, yeah. change communication behavior 21_225 Oh okay. neutral communication behavior 21_227 Yeah, that's a good idea. change communication behavior 21_229 Yeah, for sure. change communication behavior 21_231 I mean- neutral communication behavior 21_233 -I was just planning on telling them that I don't really want to drink anymore. That wasn't me. change communication behavior 21_235 So. neutral communication behavior 21_237 Yeah. I mean, at least my closest friends, for sure. change communication behavior 21_239 No. No, I think I'm okay. neutral communication behavior 21_241 Okay. change communication behavior 21_243 Okay, great. Thanks. neutral communication behavior 21_245 Yeah. change communication behavior 21_247 No problem. neutral communication behavior 22_1 Yes, um, my top value is family happiness, um, that's- neutral communication behavior 22_3 -that's number one to me, especially now. I usually do this values clarification sheet, like, every two to three months- neutral communication behavior 22_5 -just to see if anything changed, and every time it has changed. neutral communication behavior 22_7 Yes. neutral communication behavior 22_9 Yes, it's the most important because it's a little lacking, so I know that that's something that is very important to me. neutral communication behavior 22_11 Yeah. Um, I can just pretty much say that my family hasn't been on one accord, so, like, if-- I feel like if we all just can fall in the middle, which I know everybody doesn't really follow that track. So, um, I think for my part, 'cause I can't change anybody, is to be more present and, um, just listen and understand my family members, and-and be able to voice what I feel as far as how important family happiness-happiness is to me. neutral communication behavior 22_13 Yes. neutral communication behavior 22_15 Yeah. neutral communication behavior 22_17 And I want them to know how important it is to me, especially now, and I do this, like I said, every two to three months just to see where I am. neutral communication behavior 22_19 And, um, these definitely are different from- neutral communication behavior 22_21 -what I usually pick. neutral communication behavior 22_23 "Um, and then the second one I said is religion. Um, it was number one at first, um, but somehow with a big situation that happened in my family you kind of lose sight of your faith a little bit, which is normal. And not a lot of people-- They, uh-- Well, in my church home, i-it just seems like, ""Oh, you lost touch of God, oh my gosh, you're the devil.""" neutral communication behavior 22_25 You know? And it's kind of like, well we all face those challenges every day, we're not perfect, you know? And I feel like my faith is still there but it's-- You know, as long as it's still there, that's all that matters. neutral communication behavior 22_27 Yeah. I lost faith, and so I'm not afraid to say it. neutral communication behavior 22_29 You know? And once you say [unintelligible 00:03:12] people that don't really feel like that's— neutral communication behavior 22_31 Yeah, I know that. neutral communication behavior 22_33 I know that it's normal. neutral communication behavior 22_35 Yeah, well, it's a— neutral communication behavior 22_37 "Yeah, it's like a shock to them when you say something like that. And it's like, ""Well, we all go through things where we're just not sure, and--"" I still have a little bit, I'm not saying that I'm off track, you know? I still have a little bit to go on. And the little bit that I do have are the positive things in my life that I look at and I'm like, ""Okay, well, I'm not in this situation, so I'm thankful,"" and-" neutral communication behavior 22_39 "-you know, I'd still have faith to keep going on, but sometimes you feel as though, ""Where is God?""" neutral communication behavior 22_41 You know? neutral communication behavior 22_43 Yes. neutral communication behavior 22_45 Yes. neutral communication behavior 22_47 Mm-hmm. neutral communication behavior 22_49 Yeah. neutral communication behavior 22_51 "I've accepted that. At first, I was like, ""Whoa,"" I think I was focused too much on the first time I did it-" neutral communication behavior 22_53 -then the second time that I did it-- I did five of these total- neutral communication behavior 22_55 "-but the second time that I did it I was so focused on, ""What did I read about last time?"" You know?" neutral communication behavior 22_57 So, and I just went ahead and blanked that out and I just went and I- neutral communication behavior 22_59 "-compared and I was like, ""Oh wow.""" neutral communication behavior 22_61 "Mm-hmm, and that's what I felt wasn't-- At first I was like, ""Is that not normal?"" You know?" neutral communication behavior 23_1 Hi. neutral communication behavior 23_3 Yeah. Um, yeah, I guess it kind of- it kind of started like five, six years ago. neutral communication behavior 23_5 Um, it kind of escalated a bit. Um, I've just recently moved out, um, from living with my parents. So just made it a bit worse, I think. neutral communication behavior 23_7 Yeah, I am- Yeah. It's the first time actually, yeah. Um, I was going to a few years ago. I just thought it'd be easier to stay at home, so. neutral communication behavior 23_9 Yeah. neutral communication behavior 23_11 Um, don't know, it's kind of, I haven't really told anyone, so, I mean, it's made it like better in sense. I feel, hopefully this is, this is it like, it- it'll help, but I don't know. I don't like thinking that I've like have to do this. I never thought I'd like be the kind of person you'd have to actually go and like get help if that makes sense. neutral communication behavior 23_13 It's like scared. I don't know. Hopefully, it will help. neutral communication behavior 23_15 Yeah. neutral communication behavior 23_17 Um, I thought that they'd be better, but 'cause I thought I'd have to kind of be independent and I suppose actually a lot worse. So I'm-I'm just kind of staying in the house a lot. I don't really have any friends or anything. I mean my family come and visit a bit, but it's not-- I don't know. It's kind of scary because I've just been kind of-- that should just end the flight by myself, which I always thought I'd like, but I don't actually like it. neutral communication behavior 23_19 Um, I mean, I'm-I'm a photographer. Um, so I kind of-- It's-it's been stopping me a bit, my anxiety, from being able to get work and because every time, you know, there's, uh, an opportunity that is kind of involving me having to interact with people, I just tend to just turn it down. So it was kind of making things hard in that respect and um, just kind of friends wise and everything. I just feel like I'm just kind of increasingly more alone. So it's kind of stopping me from making friends and, you know, like relationships and stuff. neutral communication behavior 23_21 Yeah, yeah. Um, it was kind of easier when I was at home because I was obviously, I mean, my parents, so it's fine, but you know, they would, I'd go to places with, um, or I'd kind of have people there, but more and more, I'm just finding myself just staying in a lot. I mean-- I went like two weeks ago for coffee with my friends and the whole time I was just kind of wanting to go home again. So I don't, I just don't want to-- I don't want that to happen. I don't want to lose everyone. So- neutral communication behavior 23_23 Yeah. Um, yeah. neutral communication behavior 23_25 Yeah. neutral communication behavior 23_27 Yeah. neutral communication behavior 23_29 Uh, I guess I'd finished school about a year before that. Um, and I mean, I-I've always been a bit shy, um, at school, but it was never ever, uh, like it didn't really affect the things as much as not at all as much as it has been doing the last few years ago, I guess. It just started when I- like my friends went to university, and, I don't know, I felt like I was expected to kind of move out or do something and then it just kind of escalated from there.I just stop going to parties or I'd just say no to invitations or I don't know, I thought my job would help because I mean, I love it. I've- I really like doing photography, but I'm just kind of getting less and less work as it goes on, so, which is my thing, you know, but— neutral communication behavior 23_31 I guess when it- I have to kind of be working with other people. Um, I don't like that. It's like when I'm trying to kind of- would do an event or something where there's a lot of people there, not just photographers, but actual, you know, if I'm like taking places with people that I don't know, I just kind of find myself saying, you know, I mean, I want to do them, but just is scary. So I just don't do it. neutral communication behavior 23_33 Um, just, I mean, I get really hot and sweaty, and I don't-- I feel like everyone's kind of looking at me and thinking that I'm just like really stupid, and I feel like they're all going to be staring and thinking, I just can't do my job. And I'm just an idiot. And I mean, they'll think that I just look like a weirdo and I just try and-- I mean, I just kind of just try and get out of the situation or just focus on something else. So that's why I like doing shots where it's just me and the camera 'cause I- then I can just put all my attention on that instead of having to, you know, be with other people. neutral communication behavior 23_35 Um, just makes me feel like an idiot, makes me feel like I just shouldn't even bother trying to do it anymore. I should just go home and I just-- I think I just don't want to be in that situation. I just feel like everyone else is fine and they're normal and I'm just the freak, you can't, like do normal things and— neutral communication behavior 23_37 Um, like a work situation or just--? neutral communication behavior 23_39 Yeah. I was doing a job where it was kind of like a- a Nature issue and I was having to work with a lot of different people. Um, and, um, when they told me about the job, I thought it would be fine. I thought it was just going to be a few other photographers, but there were actually people and, you know, I was taking photos of people kind of in the trees and stuff like that. And I guess- they asked me to, um— neutral communication behavior 23_41 Yeah. Yeah. It was a fashion thing. I think it was for some kind of-- I'm not sure if it was a campaign or something, but, it was- neutral communication behavior 23_43 Yeah, it was, yeah, it was really cool, but I find it- found it really hard to try and focus on that 'cause I was so- I was kind of feeling really anxious and— neutral communication behavior 23_45 No. No. neutral communication behavior 23_47 That was two weeks ago. neutral communication behavior 23_49 Yeah. neutral communication behavior 23_51 I just felt really- just really kind of hot. I couldn't really breathe and just felt like I wanted to just get out. And I was kind of trying really, really hard to just focus, and just, you know, like kind of hold the camera and just not think about anything, but I just felt like everyone was looking at me and like, when they'd say 'action' and they're trying to get me to start and I was just felt like everyone was just thinking I was really stupid and I shouldn't have been there and— neutral communication behavior 23_53 Yeah. neutral communication behavior 23_55 Yeah. neutral communication behavior 23_57 I was just trying to focus on it. I was just thinking if I could just hold it really tightly, it would just-- I don't know. I'd kind of just be able to just get through it and just focus. neutral communication behavior 23_59 Yeah. neutral communication behavior 23_61 Cause I felt like I was getting really like hot and flushed and I just thought, at least if I can just-- I don't know. It sounds weird, but I was just trying to keep my hands still on it. 'Cause my hands were kind of sweaty and like shaking like loads, like, and I could just tell everyone was looking and they could see, and I just thought if I just managed to hold onto it, it wouldn't be as noticeable, but— neutral communication behavior 23_63 Just-- I was just, just stupid and it was just really-- just felt really like kind of- like everyone was just going to be staring and just thinking that I-- Like- I just felt like everyone was looking at me and just, they could tell. And then just thinking of what was she doing? neutral communication behavior 23_65 I was just really like sweaty and just— neutral communication behavior 23_67 Yeah. neutral communication behavior 23_69 Yeah, um, I was trying to wear black so this kind of tries to cover it up and just like a lot of layers, so they can't tell but, I mean, my hands, like, they were so shaken. I was really red and just was-- Just wishing that I just wasn't there. neutral communication behavior 23_71 I think just very stupid and, like, I think my face was really red. I could feel it flushing and I knew that I'd- I was probably sweating and shaking, like my hands were definitely really really shaking. Um, and af-- it was, like definitely really noticeable. Everyone could definitely see. neutral communication behavior 23_73 Um, well, I again was trying to grip the camera, just look down, just trying not to do anything weird or-- 'Cause, I mean, they could probably tell I was being weird anyway, but hopefully if-- I just- I just tried really hard to just focus and look down, not trying, like not kind-- look at anyone else and just, yeah, just kind of trying get on with it as best as I could, but— neutral communication behavior 23_75 Yeah, no, I-I always do that even if it's really hot or I wear just loads of layers and just 'cause otherwise I- I'll just be really sweaty and like, people would definitely be able to see, so. neutral communication behavior 23_77 Um, well, it kind of went on for like an hour or so, and then, um, people were going, um, just a-after every shoot people go out for drinks after just to kind of celebrate like that we've done it. I'd just- I went home straight away, just got on my car and went home. I just didn't want to be around them especially after they would've seen me being weird and I just wanted to get-get home straight away. neutral communication behavior 24_1 Yeah, I hope so. Um, my workplace has just gone smoke-free. I-I'm not-not very happy about it. I'm gonna keep smoking, but I was wondering if there's anything that-that can help me like get through the day. It's like, you know, go get my beer and smoke cigarettes after work. sustain communication behavior 24_3 No. I'm not gonna quit smoking. I mean, I like it. It helps me relax. So, I mean, I don't see what the big deal is. sustain communication behavior 24_5 I mean, I smoke a little less than a pack a day. It's not too bad. Um, I've probably smoked for the last five years, but I-I-I mean, could quit if I wanted to, but I don't really want to right now. sustain communication behavior 24_7 Sure. I can quit. change communication behavior 24_9 Well, I mean, I don't see why I couldn't, I-- although I have not ever tried to quit, it's just something that I do for fun, you know, on breaks at work, in the morning, and after work. sustain communication behavior 24_11 I am probably a two. I-I haven't even thought about quitting and until this great announcement at work today, I- I'm totally not gonna quit smoking. sustain communication behavior 24_13 Well, I mean, anything's possible. I mean, I-I guess I could maybe be convinced. Yeah. Is there some-- I mean, are there things I can try that would make me like want to quit smoking? change communication behavior 24_15 Okay. Well, that’s good information. I mean, I'm not gonna do anything today. I just need to know my options, but that's encouraging. If I decided to quit smoking, I-I do have at least tools to help me. sustain communication behavior 24_17 I don't know. I guess if my friends, like if one of my friends decided to like quit with me, that would probably help too, but I-- all my friends love to smoke, so I don't see that happening in the near future. sustain communication behavior 24_19 That's a good point. I hadn't really thought about that. That-that's a good idea. Yeah. change communication behavior 24_21 Okay. Well, thanks a lot. neutral communication behavior 25_1 Um, I really want to start working out again. Definitely wanna get back in it, have a routine, and just be healthy. change communication behavior 25_3 Um, I'm sick of feeling the way I do. I feel kinda sluggish. Especially with the winter coming, I think I want to have more energy. change communication behavior 25_5 Um, I don't like the way my clothes fit or don't fit me. change communication behavior 25_7 Just, I don't feel comfortable. change communication behavior 25_9 Mm-hmm. neutral communication behavior 25_11 Um, I know exercise is-- in the past, has always made me feel good. I felt good about myself, and just in general, exercise, I know, makes me feel good. I want to be a good example for my kids. I want them to feel like that's a part of life- change communication behavior 25_13 -exercising. So, I want-- I really just want to go get back in a routine. change communication behavior 25_15 Yeah. neutral communication behavior 25_17 Um, I don't know. I'd probably have to sit down maybe with my husband and try to figure out a good time for me to be able to do that, where he'd be home with the kids and I'd be going to do that, whether it's morning-time, evening, maybe the weekends. change communication behavior 25_19 Just to find the time to be able to do it, or what works in our schedule. change communication behavior 25_21 Right, yeah. change communication behavior 25_23 Mm, I would like to say a seven or an eight, that that's how important it is to me. neutral communication behavior 25_25 Because I'm really sick of being overweight. change communication behavior 25_27 Not ha-- I just don't like being unhealthy. It doesn't make me feel good, so I'm motivated to change, it's just getting there. change communication behavior 25_29 Exactly, yeah. neutral communication behavior 25_31 Mm, I'll probably, I don't know, find-- Now, while it's still somewhat okay outside, maybe pick days I'm gonna go for walks or runs, um, maybe look for a gym close to the house so that I know I can go there quickly or maybe that has daycare, um, yeah, maybe I'll just start to look for that, and find ways I can do it first. change communication behavior 25_33 Yeah. neutral communication behavior 26_1 I just want my call, that's it. neutral communication behavior 26_3 [scoffs] Yeah. neutral communication behavior 26_5 I don't know. Some of-- One of the officers, it's like he has it out for me or something. I don't- I don't know what it is. Something about me not making my bed, something about my attitude. I don't know, I just want my call, man. neutral communication behavior 26_7 I just wanna contact my mom, that's it. neutral communication behavior 26_9 My dad's birthday is tomorrow. neutral communication behavior 26_11 And I just wanted my call so I can talk to my mom. That's it. neutral communication behavior 28_1 Thank you, my doctor [unintelligible 00:00:05] neutral communication behavior 28_3 Well am having, um-- I've been an ongoing problem with smoking and trying to quit. change communication behavior 28_5 Oh I've been wanting to, for a long long time in years. change communication behavior 28_7 Well I have a 15-year-old daughter and she's highly against it. And, um, health issues, you know, I'm getting-- not getting any younger and I have asthma and I have chronic bronchi-- bronchitis and, um, I'm having a hard time breathing when I exercise and not to mention it's socially unacceptable really. change communication behavior 28_9 Actually it's like being a leper in a non-leper colony. change communication behavior 28_13 Right and, um, she's been expressing, you know, she walks in and she's like shhh and it's embarrassing for her friends and, um, and in-in turn, it's embarrassing for me. change communication behavior 28_15 Right right, yeah. change communication behavior 28_17 Oh and emphysema the beginning stages of emphysema. change communication behavior 28_19 Thank you. neutral communication behavior 28_21 I really couldn't tell you, um, I remember when my daughter was like five, um, I was-- it was humid out and I have a problem with humidity- neutral communication behavior 28_23 -you know, for breathing, um, and, um, I was trying to stick my head out the window to gasp for air- neutral communication behavior 28_25 -and my daughter became so frightened that she went next door to our neighbor and called 911 and it really— neutral communication behavior 28_27 Yeah-Yeah she's very intelligent, yeah. Um, and they came they took me, you know, on this chair type of thing in my robe and my daughter was in sure panic, um, thinking she's was gonna lose me and she's 15 so its been 10 years since then and I still I've tried this Chantix- change communication behavior 28_29 -unsuccessfully, uh,-- sustain communication behavior 28_31 Well, um, I don't know if it's my lack of willpower but, um, also had ve-very bad side effects from it so. sustain communication behavior 28_33 Um, I had nightmares- sustain communication behavior 28_35 -nausea- sustain communication behavior 28_39 Right and it didn't stop me from smoking as well, so that's, uh, [laughs]— sustain communication behavior 28_41 Um, that was about two to three years ago. neutral communication behavior 28_45 "I would get a, um, a new prescription refilled thinking, ""Oh I could try it this time.""" change communication behavior 28_47 And I had friends that it worked for- neutral communication behavior 28_49 Um, and there is a support group that they have that you can go online or call- neutral communication behavior 28_51 -but of course I didn't do either but- sustain communication behavior 28_53 -um— neutral communication behavior 28_55 No. Yeah. neutral communication behavior 28_57 And agitation really- sustain communication behavior 28_59 -because, um, you know, um, being at my age I'm going through the menopause stage which is part, you know, you'll have that anyways and then having 15-year-old that causes a little bit more stress so you don't need any extra stress, I don't think, as far as I'm concerned. sustain communication behavior 28_61 Right, exactly. sustain communication behavior 28_63 Only when I was in the hospital. [chuckles] neutral communication behavior 28_65 And even then I-I snuck out and had a cigarette, you know. sustain communication behavior 28_67 Oh God, I would have to say, uh, three days. neutral communication behavior 28_69 But it was not really by choice, it was by, um, the situation I was in, I wasn't able to smoke so, yeah. sustain communication behavior 28_71 Right. sustain communication behavior 28_73 Mm-hmm. Yeah. neutral communication behavior 28_75 Um, constant thoughts about smoking. sustain communication behavior 28_77 Um, uh, just as, um, a chocoholic craves chocolate- sustain communication behavior 28_81 Yeah, exactly. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Um, and the first thing when I was able to smoke, I didn't care if I smoke my brand or anybody else's brand, I just wanted that cigarette. sustain communication behavior 28_83 The nicotine is the addiction. sustain communication behavior 28_85 And-and also the-the psyche thing, you know, with-- I mean, I wake up in the morning, I want a coffee with- I want coffee with a cigarette. sustain communication behavior 28_87 Um, if I'm stressed, coffee with a cigarette. sustain communication behavior 28_89 I mean, just cigarette. Um, so it's always, like, it's-it's a duel kind of problem I think- change communication behavior 28_91 -you know- neutral communication behavior 28_93 -I'm finding it to be. neutral communication behavior 28_97 Mm-hmm. neutral communication behavior 28_101 Oh, yeah. neutral communication behavior 28_103 "As they say, my aunt was like, ""Put another nail in your coffin,"" you know." change communication behavior 28_105 "More on kind of cocky and I say, ""Well, you know, Aunt Kathy, you were my role model, and back in the day, um, I used to envy and watch and think you were so sexy, and all the movies, the old movies.""" sustain communication behavior 28_107 Yes, yeah. And that's what I associated with at the time and now it's almost, I'm ostracized for it. sustain communication behavior 28_109 So, it's kind of like a double-edged sword. neutral communication behavior 28_111 Mm. neutral communication behavior 28_115 Oh, yeah, and you have to travel like 10 miles- change communication behavior 28_117 -in order to have a cigarette. And not say you're in a situation and you only have a 15-minute break- change communication behavior 28_119 -you can't even finish your cigarette, um, because you have to be back within a certain amount of time and it takes you, like, let's say seven minutes to get to the place where you can smoke and seven minutes to get back- sustain communication behavior 28_121 -and a cigarette, um, for me takes five minutes to smoke. sustain communication behavior 29_1 Um, I definitely, uh, you know, I-I strive to be physically healthy, but I also have in my life seeing how that impacts me mentally. Um, so I think if I'm- if I'm able to do the things that I wanna do and, um, you know, that I'm feeling good about where I'm at mentally, then that's kind of my end goal, always. Um, yeah, so this body dissatisfaction piece has really just kinda thrown a wrench in that and it's been enough of a challenge that I thought I should seek out someone who can really help me through that piece. neutral communication behavior 29_3 Yes, please. neutral communication behavior 29_5 Mm-hmm. neutral communication behavior 29_8 So, like, for example, having like a-a set out meal plan, um, you know, where I'm eating certain food groups or certain macronutrients, for example, that wouldn't necessarily follow that same approach. neutral communication behavior 29_10 Mm-hmm. neutral communication behavior 29_12 Mm-hmm. neutral communication behavior 29_14 Okay, yeah. neutral communication behavior 29_16 Well, I think it makes sense, especially like-like you said, to be sustainable. Um, yeah, I definitely wouldn't wanna try something where I'm going to crash and burn for days in. change communication behavior 29_18 Um, when you talk about activity and you mentioned like really, um, like rigorous activity types, um, like I go to a gym and I enjoy going to the gym when I was active. change communication behavior 29_20 Um, would that be kind of against that philosophy too or I guess, can you explain that a bit more? neutral communication behavior 29_22 Mm-hmm. neutral communication behavior 29_24 Mm-hmm. neutral communication behavior 29_26 Cool, so both with the foods and the activity, we would be working to find things that I like to do- change communication behavior 29_28 -that I could do for longer periods versus more of like you said, the prescriptive approach. change communication behavior 29_30 Mm-hmm. Yeah, no, I think that-that all sounds good. Um, you know, I still would want to lose weight. change communication behavior 29_32 Um, and I know you said weight loss isn't really the goal, so I- neutral communication behavior 29_34 -I just want to be upfront about that part with me and maybe that changes or maybe it doesn't, but what do you think about that. neutral communication behavior 29_36 Great. Yeah, now that sounds good. neutral communication behavior 30_1 I don't know, and I still don't wanna charge it. sustain communication behavior 30_3 No. I got a lot of stuff to do, I don't need to charge it. sustain communication behavior 30_5 No. sustain communication behavior 30_7 I guess so. I don't know. I-I-I honestly don't care what the consequences are. sustain communication behavior 30_9 Sure. I'll listen. neutral communication behavior 30_11 Whatever. sustain communication behavior 30_13 No. I just-- I don't care. sustain communication behavior 30_15 It really [unintelligible 00:00:58]-- I don't care. sustain communication behavior 30_17 Nope. sustain communication behavior 30_19 Yeah, whatever. I Know you got to do your job, but I don't care. sustain communication behavior 30_21 I mean, whatever happens happens. I'll deal with it when it happens. sustain communication behavior 30_23 I mean, I'll just deal with it when it comes. neutral communication behavior 30_25 Yeah, I guess so. neutral communication behavior 30_27 Okay. neutral communication behavior 31_1 Hey. neutral communication behavior 31_3 Yeah, my doctor talked to me about my cholesterol, that-that's-that's his job. neutral communication behavior 31_5 Yeah, that'd be okay, yeah, you know, I'm not so certain I'm even gonna take the medicine cause, you know, he mentioned muscle weakness, uh, you know, I-I know I got high cholesterol, uh, and that I'm running the risk of stroke and heart attack down line but yeah, he mentioned muscle weakness and I've been thinking about that and, uh, you know I'm a truck driver and I got a haul the heavy boxes out of the truck on a dolly, and I can't afford that right now. Just that-that muscle weakness, uh, that-that bothers me. sustain communication behavior 31_7 Oh, yeah. neutral communication behavior 31_9 Yeah, that's the problem, that's what I face now with my job. sustain communication behavior 31_11 Yeah. neutral communication behavior 31_13 Mm-hmm. sustain communication behavior 31_15 That'd be fine. neutral communication behavior 31_17 Oh. neutral communication behavior 31_19 Okay. neutral communication behavior 31_21 Well, I guess it doesn't worry me quite as much if it's reversible like that. You know, I was thinking this was gonna be a big-time, but, uh, uh, yeah, I guess, it sounds manageable. change communication behavior 31_23 Oh, he just said that the risks are-are up, I think he called it elevated but, uh, you know, uh, that I'm at a higher risk of having a stroke or a heart attack down the line, uh, you know, that's down the line. neutral communication behavior 31_25 Well, you know, my wife and I wanna retire in about four to five years and we wanna be really active visiting all sorts of places, The Fjords, Norway, things like that so I-I guess having a stroke or a heart attack would really be bad for that so and, you know, we-we-we wanna live our dreams actively. change communication behavior 31_27 Whoa. neutral communication behavior 31_29 Yeah, no-no we-we wanna able to be very active. change communication behavior 31_31 Well, uh, I guess that's the-the way to go then cause I-I don't wanna be, you know, crippled by a stroke or a heart attack- change communication behavior 31_33 -so take- taking the medicine sounds like the-the end of the game right now. change communication behavior 31_35 Yeah. neutral communication behavior 31_37 Oh yeah. change communication behavior 31_39 Yeah. change communication behavior 31_41 And the medicine can get my cholesterol down? neutral communication behavior 31_43 Wow, okay. neutral communication behavior 31_45 Yeah, I'll take the medicine. change communication behavior 31_47 Okay. neutral communication behavior 31_49 That'd be fine. neutral communication behavior 31_51 Fair enough, hey thanks. neutral communication behavior 31_53 Yeah. neutral communication behavior 33_1 Hmm, pretty good. neutral communication behavior 33_3 Check it, yeah. neutral communication behavior 33_5 Oh, that was fixed really nice. neutral communication behavior 33_7 You got rid of that bad- neutral communication behavior 33_9 -discoloration that was there. neutral communication behavior 33_11 I like that. neutral communication behavior 33_13 Mm. Well, the usual suspects, smoking, wine, coffee- neutral communication behavior 33_15 -all of the above. neutral communication behavior 33_17 Yeah, I've thought about it. I'm just-- It's not my cup-- I-I-I hear it from everybody, and, uh, I've tried- I've tried before, didn't work. I get it all the time. sustain communication behavior 33_19 Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, [unintelligible 00:01:13] hmm. neutral communication behavior 33_21 "Yeah, I-I-I know I'm not an idiot and people know that smokers are, you know, ""How can you smoke today?"" [coughs] It's just not that easy to, uh, quit." sustain communication behavior 33_23 Yeah. neutral communication behavior 33_25 Uh, who wouldn't be? neutral communication behavior 33_27 You'd have to be a real fool not to do it- neutral communication behavior 33_29 -if you [unintelligible 00:01:34] was gonna make it like that. neutral communication behavior 33_31 I-I just hear it every day. neutral communication behavior 33_33 I've smoked for 40 years, since I was 14- neutral communication behavior 33_35 -and quit a couple of times, off and on in my 20s, but, you know, it's been consistent. And I can't see myself changing now. sustain communication behavior 33_37 No matter what kinda talk I get or what they come up with. sustain communication behavior 33_39 Not gonna worked for me. neutral communication behavior 33_41 No. neutral communication behavior 33_43 I know cold turkey is probably the only thing that's ever gonna do it to anybody that's done it. Mysel- My group, it's been cold turkey- neutral communication behavior 33_45 -and then they fight it, but [sighs] it's my choice- neutral communication behavior 33_47 -and I don't like lectures about it. neutral communication behavior 33_49 Yeah. neutral communication behavior 33_51 Hard to tell 'cause I already had open-heart surgery. That didn't do it. neutral communication behavior 33_53 Prostate cancer, that didn't do it. neutral communication behavior 33_55 I don't know. I really don't know. I just don't really want it. sustain communication behavior 33_57 I just- neutral communication behavior 33_59 -have to- neutral communication behavior 33_61 Yeah, a while, quite a while. Yeah. sustain communication behavior 33_63 Okay, yeah. I could go for that. I-I, uh, I'm always open to some-- you know, to listen. Yeah. neutral communication behavior 33_65 Yeah. [laughs] neutral communication behavior 33_67 "[unintelligible 00:03:34] options. I had some-- I had my surgeon just go like, ""You're- you're--"" like, ""Why do I even keep you as a patient?""" neutral communication behavior 33_69 He's good, though. [laughs] neutral communication behavior 33_71 Yeah. neutral communication behavior 33_73 Okay. neutral communication behavior 33_75 Thanks, doc. neutral communication behavior 33_77 Okay. neutral communication behavior 34_1 Um, my doctor referred me. He said I had to come because I've- I've been a little irresponsible with this pregnancy. Yeah. neutral communication behavior 34_3 Yeah. Um, he said that I was drinking too much with it. Um, I-I haven't been a lot, but he said it was still maybe, um, would screw things up. neutral communication behavior 34_5 Yeah. Yeah. Like I don't- I don't want to screw anything up with this baby, but, um, yeah, I'm just- I'm scared I already did. change communication behavior 34_7 Mm-hmm. Yeah. neutral communication behavior 34_9 "Yeah. He didn't really tell me what to expect. He just said, ""Go- go see her as well.""" neutral communication behavior 34_11 Yeah. Um, I didn't find out I was pregnant until probably two-ish months in- neutral communication behavior 34_13 -and I had already been drinking then. Um, I've been really trying not to, but, you know, weekends come around, and, um, all my friends are kind of partying and stuff, and it's been hard to, like, break that habit. change communication behavior 34_15 A little bit. I think if I- if I talk to them, it would be fine, but it's-it's weird, right? Like I'm the only one of my friends that's, like, taking this step and having a kid, and they don't really know how to handle that. neutral communication behavior 34_17 Yeah. neutral communication behavior 34_19 "Yeah, like, I'm- I'm still, like, I'm only in my 20s, and-and for everyone else, it's like, ""Okay, it's party time,"" and now I kind of have to, like, break out of that." change communication behavior 34_21 There's, yeah, there's part of me that still wants to live that out because I'm not going to have another chance, like once this kid comes, it's-it's going to be over. I know I'm gonna- I know I'm going to have to change. change communication behavior 34_23 Yeah. Probably. And I'm also feeling like it's too late. I already screwed it up. change communication behavior 34_25 "Well, I know, like, they say not to, but I thought because my friends didn't really care, I thought, ""Okay. Like maybe-maybe it doesn't matter. Maybe it's just what they tell you."" Just like drinking, in general, is bad." sustain communication behavior 34_27 Yeah. neutral communication behavior 34_29 Yeah, like, I should probably have trusted my gut. change communication behavior 34_31 It's telling me that what I'm doing is wrong and it's probably hurting my kid and that- that I'm gonna really regret that once I actually get my kid. change communication behavior 34_33 Um, I'm definitely it's not-- I think I could probably do it. It's just- it-it comes hard when you're, like, in that moment. You're around your friends and they're drinking and you don't wanna be- you don't wanna be the mom at that moment. You wanna be yourself. You wanna be who you were before. sustain communication behavior 34_35 And so many people, when they have kids, they just vanish from their friends. And I don't wanna be that person. I don't wanna be that person that just has a kid and they're completely-completely different. sustain communication behavior 34_37 Yeah, suburbs. Yeah. neutral communication behavior 34_39 Yeah, I-I guess. Like, I don't wanna- I don't wanna lose my friends because of this. And I don't wanna put pressure on them to change because they're, I mean, they're good people. They're just— sustain communication behavior 34_41 Yeah. neutral communication behavior 34_43 I don’t want that. neutral communication behavior 34_45 No. neutral communication behavior 34_47 Yeah. change communication behavior 34_49 Like, I wanna- I wanna be responsible for this thing. change communication behavior 34_51 No. neutral communication behavior 34_53 I guess so. I feel like I've already made a choice and already made some bad choices with this. change communication behavior 34_55 Well, I-I kept the kid because I wanted-- It was almost like that push, that sign for me to, like, move forward and become like an adult because it's scary, right? Like I-I still feel like a teenager sometimes. And having that push to be a real person is really-- It's a lot of pressure and I-I want to raise this kid well. I don't wanna- I don't wanna let my kid down. I don't wanna, you know, I don't wanna regret choosing to have this kid because I think it's the right time, but I don't wanna- I don't wanna make mistakes that make me realize maybe I'm not ready for this 'cause sometimes it feels like I'm not ready for this. change communication behavior 34_57 Yeah, I just guess it's easier said than done though. Like, it's, like, great, I can make all these changes and I can be a completely new person, but it's, like, at the end of the day, I'm still just who I am. sustain communication behavior 34_59 Yeah. And I'm just- you know, you can't just one day flick a switch and become a new person. sustain communication behavior 34_61 Yeah, I guess that voice is just a little more stifled by the other one. neutral communication behavior 34_63 Yeah, it's gonna be very different when it actually comes. neutral communication behavior 34_65 I think I'm gonna have to be successful. I don't really- I don't have any other choice. Like I have to- I have to take that path. change communication behavior 34_67 Because I need to for my kid. It's- it's gonna be all screwed up if I don't. change communication behavior 34_69 "I don't know, like, maybe- maybe actually talking to my friends and saying like- or maybe them actually being able to see this kid and go, ""Of course, of course, your- your choice makes sense. You--"" Maybe it would, you know, give them a wake-up call too if They actually, like, see it." change communication behavior 34_71 Or at least they'll feel less pressure to be who they want me to be. neutral communication behavior 34_73 A little bit. neutral communication behavior 34_75 Definitely my parents, um, and I probably need to, uh, go and meet some other-other people who are maybe, you know, having kids too so that I can see, like how it's done 'cause like, I only have a younger brother who's like not-not even close to that. So I don't really have anyone in my life that I know that's had kids recently. So I-I would like to meet other, you know, young moms out there who, you know, are kind of struggling with the same stuff I am. change communication behavior 34_77 I don't think they realize, uh, that I'm doing it or how much I'm doing it. neutral communication behavior 34_79 And I know that if they found out, they would be really pissed. change communication behavior 34_81 Yeah. neutral communication behavior 34_83 I think so, yeah, like the telling my parents and [unintelligible 00:13:45] this to my parents is probably the scariest thing. neutral communication behavior 34_85 And having to talk to those friends, like right now I don't want to do that. It's- it puts them in a weird place. sustain communication behavior 34_87 Yeah. neutral communication behavior 34_89 It feels like I have to lec- I don't wanna have to lecture them and I don't want it to be like a lecture. sustain communication behavior 34_91 My parents or my friends? neutral communication behavior 34_93 Yeah, lecture my-- Yeah. neutral communication behavior 34_95 Yeah, and I don't wanna be like that. sustain communication behavior 34_97 Yeah. neutral communication behavior 34_99 I wanna stay friends with them. I don't want- I don't want them to just- neutral communication behavior 34_101 Yeah, like if there's a- if there's a balance between maybe not the paths, but the worlds, if there's a balance between that- change communication behavior 34_103 Yeah. neutral communication behavior 34_105 Yeah, like I-I know I just can't cut off my friends altogether. neutral communication behavior 34_107 Um yeah, like I'm so close anyways, that I know I need to now. Um, and I just also, like, have I completely screwed this up, like, is it already too late? change communication behavior 34_109 Mm-hmm, I have to do. change communication behavior 34_111 Yeah. neutral communication behavior 34_113 I don't think so. I think just knowing that it's not too late already is enough kick in the pants to get started. change communication behavior 34_115 A little bit. neutral communication behavior 35_1 Hi, Dawn. Nice to meet you. neutral communication behavior 35_3 Thanks for having me. neutral communication behavior 35_5 So I am, um, 28. And I moved out to Arizona about six months ago. Um, I really enjoy spending time with my family and hanging out with friends whenever I can. Work keeps me pretty busy. Um, But I'm really, um, looking to kind of make some changes to my diet and physical activity. I'm not really happy with where my weight's at right now, and, uh, so I thought it'd be good to come and talk with you about some of that stuff. change communication behavior 35_7 Yeah. Um, I'm really starting to notice how I feel more sluggish and just not-- My mood is shifted a lot too, which at first, I thought was because it's getting colder outside, um, but I do also think it maybe has some relation to my activity, or lack thereof, and also kind of the foods that I'm eating. change communication behavior 35_9 Right. Yeah. Especially during times when I'm more active is when I noticed the biggest cha-change in energy and mood. change communication behavior 35_11 Yeah. Um, well, I played sports in college, so that kept me pretty busy, and that was really fun, um, and I just think back now to, as much that I would cram into a 24 -hour period, and like, wonder how I did that, but I think that part of it was because I was so active physically, um, I just had way more energy throughout the day, mentally and physically to, um, you know, go to school full-time and-and still socialize with friends and do all that stuff. Um, so when I think back to like, probably like the peak of my life of when I felt my best physically, mentally it was that time. change communication behavior 35_13 Yeah, yeah, exactly. And now it's not so much the same. Um, like when I get home from work, I'm pretty exhausted, uh, it takes a lot for me to want to be physically active when I've spent all day staring at a computer and thinking and working. And so, um, yeah, that's probably been my biggest, uh, issue is like when work ends, going home and not really doing anything. Um, just trying to like unwind by watching Netflix or something else, right? neutral communication behavior 35_15 Um, well, I think part of it is that when I was in college, it wasn't really an option to go, like, I had to go to practice or I had to do those things because that was, in a sense, my job that was paying for school, um, and now there's not that same commitment to other people or to scholarship money. So that definitely has shifted, um, but I-I do feel like a-an urgency to go it just doesn't seem that like the step that's missing is for me to actually go to a gym or somewhere to be more active. Like, I think I want to it's just the doing it that seems to not happen. change communication behavior 35_17 Mm-hmm. neutral communication behavior 35_19 Yeah, yeah, I think so. Um, that's not to say like, I wanna go run a marathon but I do think that it would help me a lot in terms of just having a better outlook on life, um, and better energy to- if I were to pick up some type of activity. change communication behavior 35_21 Mm-hmm. neutral communication behavior 35_23 Just, I'm-I'm just happier and more upbeat and I think that even my outlook is more positive. So like, if I'm sitting in traffic, and I haven't been physically active, I'll probably grumble about it but if I'm sitting in traffic, and I have been, it's like, I just have a different outlook on things and I already feel like I've gotten something accomplished that day. So it just kind of like helps with that ripple effect into my day of like getting more things done. change communication behavior 35_25 Mm-hmm. Yeah, exactly. change communication behavior 35_27 Yeah. And then also to, um, like I mentioned, I'm not totally happy with my weight, um, and so hoping too that that would have some impact there and-and maybe help me, um, if my activity kind of gets resolved or improves, then my nutrition also, maybe would go along with it and get better. change communication behavior 35_29 Uh, probably about three, four months ago. Um, yeah, just my clothes started fitting tighter, which wasn't as comfortable, and, um, yeah, just not really super happy with my appearance, which has never really been an issue, um, in my life up until now. I've usually been pretty okay with that, and then in the last three months, I just feel, um, like I've had a lot more of a negative outlook on it. change communication behavior 35_31 Yeah, I think- I think the activity piece and then also to like, the foods that I'm eating, I don't think are that great. So that also kind of does the same thing, I think, to my appearance or the way that I viewed myself. change communication behavior 35_33 Mm-hmm. Yeah. change communication behavior 36_1 Yes. Morning. neutral communication behavior 36_3 Hello. neutral communication behavior 36_5 Well, you can call me Barbara. That'll be fine. Thank you. neutral communication behavior 36_7 Yes, Dr. Brown is my doctor. neutral communication behavior 36_9 Well, I've come about my tummy problem. I've got terrible trouble with my stomach and, uh, Dr. Brown just doesn't seem to be able to get to the bottom of it. And I thought perhaps, uh, I'd come and see you to see if you could help. neutral communication behavior 36_11 Um, well, I-I have this terrible discomfort nearly all the time. Um, it very often feels bloated. I, um, uh, I swing between being constipated and having diarrhea. Um, I have sort of cramping feelings sometimes, and other times it stabs. It's a real stabbing feeling. Um, I often have the urge to go to the toilet and, um, and I pass very smelly wind. neutral communication behavior 36_13 Mm. neutral communication behavior 36_15 Yes. neutral communication behavior 36_17 Yes. neutral communication behavior 36_19 Well, I, uh, I've traced it back to a holiday I had in Egypt about four years ago. I had, um, a horrible bout of sickness and diarrhea, and, uh, and I don't think my stomach's ever been really right since then. neutral communication behavior 36_21 Yes. Yes. neutral communication behavior 36_23 Well, uh, Dr. Brown gave me some muscle relaxants at the beginning. neutral communication behavior 36_25 Um, but I've been to the health shop and-and they've been really helpful. They've given me lots of different, um, tablets and medicines- neutral communication behavior 36_27 - for different things. Um, no, oh, and Immodium. neutral communication behavior 36_29 I have Immodium in my handbag all the time, just in case. Yeah. neutral communication behavior 36_31 Hmm. neutral communication behavior 36_33 Hmm. neutral communication behavior 36_35 Oh, well, different tablets, you know, I don't have the same problem every day- neutral communication behavior 36_37 - so I'll take some tablets for certain, uh, symptoms, and- neutral communication behavior 36_39 - other tablets for other things. neutral communication behavior 36_41 Hmm. neutral communication behavior 36_43 Hmm. neutral communication behavior 36_45 Yeah. neutral communication behavior 36_47 Yes, uh, I had, uh, in the early days, I had a gastros-gas-- What are they called? neutral communication behavior 36_49 That's it. Yes. neutral communication behavior 36_51 Yes. Yeah. neutral communication behavior 36_53 Um, and at the same time I had a barium enema. neutral communication behavior 36_55 That was very uncomfortable. neutral communication behavior 36_57 Um, but, um, no, I've tried-- Well, you-- I don't think he's tried enough tests because he said after that, that they didn't find anything- neutral communication behavior 36_59 -and he-he's-he's just not sent me for anymore. That's it now- neutral communication behavior 36_61 - as far as he's concerned. Sent me back to the doctor. neutral communication behavior 36_63 Well, you know, I think that actually, the NHS are running out of money, aren't they? And he's- neutral communication behavior 36_65 - decided that I've had enough tests. neutral communication behavior 36_67 And, um, you know, if you go on the Internet- neutral communication behavior 36_69 - there's loads of tests that he could have sent me for. neutral communication behavior 36_71 Um, if I had a bit more money, I'd go private. neutral communication behavior 36_73 I just don't think he's got to the bottom of it. neutral communication behavior 36_75 No, he's not. There's loads more he could do. I'm sure. neutral communication behavior 36_77 Mm. neutral communication behavior 36_79 Mm. neutral communication behavior 36_81 Mm. neutral communication behavior 36_83 Yeah. neutral communication behavior 36_85 I'd say so, yes. neutral communication behavior 36_87 Yes. neutral communication behavior 36_89 Uh, well, it's had quite-quite a big impact. Um, I mean, the first thing, the biggest thing, I suppose, is that I-I went from being full-time to part-time at work. neutral communication behavior 36_91 I just couldn't sit all day comfortably. neutral communication behavior 36_93 Um, and so I went part-time, but in the end, I, uh, about a year ago, I stopped work altogether. neutral communication behavior 36_95 Um, I miss that. neutral communication behavior 36_97 I miss the girls. We used to, uh, we used to go out at least once a week. neutral communication behavior 36_99 To the pictures or for a drink. That's one thing. neutral communication behavior 36_101 Yeah, so I-- Yes. Yes, we used to have a laugh. neutral communication behavior 36_103 Um, I used to go to Swing and Shape. I used to go to an exercise class- neutral communication behavior 36_105 - that was, um, I miss the exercise, actually. That was, um, once a week, but you know, the thing was I wasn't comfortable, never felt quite right doing all this exercise. I was always worried I was gonna be taken short or-- So I stopped that. neutral communication behavior 36_107 Um, then-- Well, my husband and I used to go out for meals. neutral communication behavior 36_109 That's another thing we don't do anymore now. neutral communication behavior 36_111 Um, mm. Yeah, it's quite a few things, really. neutral communication behavior 36_113 Mm. neutral communication behavior 36_115 Yes. neutral communication behavior 36_117 Mm. neutral communication behavior 36_119 Mm. neutral communication behavior 36_121 Well, I potter around the house- neutral communication behavior 36_123 - um, I spend perhaps a little bit too much time watching. I've got a bit hooked on daytime television, I have to say. neutral communication behavior 36_125 Um, they draw you in, don't they? neutral communication behavior 36_127 Um, I read a bit- neutral communication behavior 36_129 - the old magazines, but, uh, generally, I'm at home. neutral communication behavior 36_131 Yeah. neutral communication behavior 36_133 Um, well, last year, um, my son got married- neutral communication behavior 36_135 - and I-I have to say I was worried that, um, that I wouldn't be able to cope with it. neutral communication behavior 36_137 That I-I wouldn't be feeling well enough, but surprisingly enough, um, I was in good form, and I think it was about three weeks in the summer, getting ready for it- neutral communication behavior 36_139 - and the whole hoo-ha of the wedding. neutral communication behavior 36_141 But I was in good- in really good form for that. Yeah. neutral communication behavior 36_143 That was a good time. neutral communication behavior 36_145 I hardly noticed them. neutral communication behavior 36_147 Yeah, it, uh, it seemed to, uh, clear up. neutral communication behavior 36_149 Which was good. neutral communication behavior 36_151 Mm. neutral communication behavior 36_153 Um, well, it's- I'm-I'm having a bit of a bad patch at the moment. neutral communication behavior 36_155 It's particularly, um, uncomfortable. Um, I have to say I do notice it when my husband's away. He- neutral communication behavior 36_157 - he travels with his job, and he- neutral communication behavior 36_159 - can be away a couple of times a month. neutral communication behavior 36_161 Um, and that's not-- It-it's very often not good then, I have to say. neutral communication behavior 36_163 Mm. Maybe I'm thinking about it a bit more, I don't know, when he's not there. neutral communication behavior 36_165 Mm. neutral communication behavior 36_167 Well, he's-he thinks it's all in my head. neutral communication behavior 36_169 You know, he's- he says it's stress. neutral communication behavior 36_171 Mm. neutral communication behavior 36_173 Well, I mean, it can't all be in my head. I get too much physical pain- neutral communication behavior 36_175 - for it to be in my head. I mean, it's real. It's-it's real pain. neutral communication behavior 36_177 Um— neutral communication behavior 36_179 Well, I mean, I-I did think that perhaps it was an infection that hadn't cleared up- neutral communication behavior 36_181 - in the early stages, but, um, I think, um, I-I mean, sometimes I think it's IBS. A friend of mines has got that and it sounds similar, and then- neutral communication behavior 36_183 "- other times I'll think, ""I wonder if it's an ulcer.""" neutral communication behavior 36_185 Um, on a really bad day, I start to think it might be cancer. neutral communication behavior 36_187 Um, my mother-in-law- my mother-in-law died of cancer last year and she had a, um, a growth that- neutral communication behavior 36_189 - the-the doctor didn't investigate. neutral communication behavior 36_191 But by the time they'd found it, it was the size of a football- neutral communication behavior 36_193 - and it was- it was too late to operate then. neutral communication behavior 36_195 So, you know, when I go to bed at night now, um, I just feel to make sure there's nothing different going on. neutral communication behavior 36_197 And, uh, yeah, I worry about that. neutral communication behavior 36_199 Oh, yes. neutral communication behavior 36_201 Yes. neutral communication behavior 36_203 I just want to make sure there's nothing changing down there, you know? neutral communication behavior 36_205 Mm. neutral communication behavior 36_207 Mm. neutral communication behavior 36_209 Mm. neutral communication behavior 36_211 Mm. neutral communication behavior 36_213 Mm-hmm. neutral communication behavior 36_215 Mm. neutral communication behavior 36_217 Yes. neutral communication behavior 36_219 Yes. Yeah. neutral communication behavior 36_221 I'd say so. neutral communication behavior 36_223 Well, I thought, you know, you're a new doctor here- neutral communication behavior 36_225 - and you've just finished your medical training. I wondered whether, you know, with new eyes and a new way of looking at-at the problem- neutral communication behavior 36_227 - um, you-you probably know about different tests, new tests, that my doctor doesn't know about, you know, new developments. neutral communication behavior 36_229 So perhaps you could send me for some different tests. neutral communication behavior 36_231 Mm. neutral communication behavior 36_233 Well, I think there's-there's got to be something that a test might- neutral communication behavior 36_235 - might reveal. neutral communication behavior 36_237 So-so like, do you think it's all in my head then? You're gonna be like Dr. Brown. You think I'm imagining all of this? neutral communication behavior 36_239 Mm. neutral communication behavior 36_241 Mm. neutral communication behavior 36_243 Mm. neutral communication behavior 36_245 Mm. neutral communication behavior 36_247 Mm. neutral communication behavior 36_249 Mm. neutral communication behavior 36_251 Well, I can't see that my mind can be causing this amount of pain. sustain communication behavior 36_253 No. neutral communication behavior 36_255 What-what sort of approach? neutral communication behavior 36_257 Mm. neutral communication behavior 36_259 No. neutral communication behavior 36_261 Well, I just can't do them. neutral communication behavior 36_263 I can't- I can't do them anymore. neutral communication behavior 36_265 Mm. neutral communication behavior 36_267 Oh, I don't know. neutral communication behavior 36_269 I don't know. neutral communication behavior 36_271 Mm. neutral communication behavior 36_273 Mm. neutral communication behavior 36_275 Mm-hmm. neutral communication behavior 36_277 Hmm. Yeah. neutral communication behavior 36_279 Well, two or three months is a long time if there is something going on. I mean, that's what happened to my mother-in-law, you know. sustain communication behavior 36_281 They-they left her and- sustain communication behavior 36_283 - didn't spot it and— sustain communication behavior 36_285 Mm-hmm. neutral communication behavior 36_287 Mm. neutral communication behavior 36_289 Mm. neutral communication behavior 36_291 So, uh, what are you saying then? That I should come back and see you? change communication behavior 36_293 Mm. neutral communication behavior 36_295 Mm-hmm. neutral communication behavior 36_297 Okay. Well, uh, to make an appointment for next week. change communication behavior 36_299 And come and see you again- change communication behavior 36_301 - and talk about it a bit more? change communication behavior 36_303 Okay. change communication behavior 36_305 All right. And I'll make a list of the tablets that I'm taking. change communication behavior 36_307 I won't bring all the bottles down. change communication behavior 36_309 Okay. All right. I'll do that. change communication behavior 36_311 I'll make an appointment for next week. Yes. change communication behavior 36_313 Okay. Thank you. neutral communication behavior 37_1 Kia ora. neutral communication behavior 37_3 Yeah, yeah fine. neutral communication behavior 37_5 Actually, it's been pretty good. I, um, I talked to my mom, which, uh- neutral communication behavior 37_7 -which is a big deal. And, uh, she was excellent. Um, I knew she would be. Um, and, uh, I've made an appointment for the, uh, for Stopping Violence and [unintelligible 00:16:15] change communication behavior 37_9 Um, I've cut down on the drink. I haven't stopped drinking, but, uh-- Yeah, so, uh, it's okay. change communication behavior 37_11 Yeah. neutral communication behavior 37_13 Mm-hmm. neutral communication behavior 37_15 Uh, I didn't speak to my brothers and sisters this time, I just spoke to my mom, but, uh, she, uh, she suggested that I go and stay with my, uh, auntie and my uncle. Uh— neutral communication behavior 37_17 Yeah. neutral communication behavior 37_19 I'm not sure. neutral communication behavior 37_21 I'm not sure, I'm thinking about it. neutral communication behavior 37_23 Well, I'm not sure if I want to live with my auntie and uncle. [chuckles] Um, I think, yeah, I'll probably need to. I think probably living with, uh, with my mate in his flat is probably not that helpful. change communication behavior 37_25 It was terrible. It was really hard. Uh, I think probably the hardest person to talk to about it, my mom. My, um, my old man, um-- Yeah, it was hard. change communication behavior 37_27 I try. neutral communication behavior 37_29 Well, I hope it tells you that, um, that I'm a good bloke. That I'm a good dad. That I really- that I'm really serious. I am really serious. change communication behavior 37_31 Yeah. neutral communication behavior 37_33 Uh, yeah, I talked to her about it. We talked a little bit. Um, and she's not completely convinced. neutral communication behavior 37_35 Um, but we'll see how it goes. change communication behavior 37_37 I need to, um, I need to see all these things that I've started to put into action, I need to see them through to the end. change communication behavior 37_39 Well. I need to- I need to, uh, to show her that she can trust me. That I'm serious about it. change communication behavior 38_1 Yeah, um, last week I met with my nurse practitioner, and I ge-I guess she's worried with how much I'm smoking and drinking right now. I mean, I-I did agree I would work on the smoking and try to cut back on that. But, as far as the drinking, I-I don't really think I drink that much. sustain communication behavior 38_3 Right, I mean, I don't drink that much and, honestly, it-it's just a good way to relax. sustain communication behavior 38_5 Yeah, exactly. You know, it's kind of like that me time at the end of the day. sustain communication behavior 38_7 Yeah. You know, I have a two-year-old son, and then, I work full-time. And, I also started going back to school. So, you know, just trying to juggle all that stuff. You know, it's tiring, and so, you know, at the end of the day, I just- I wanna relax and enjoy myself. sustain communication behavior 38_9 Yeah, and for work, you know, I'm a server. So, I'm on my feet all day, you know, and it's-it's really tiring. neutral communication behavior 38_11 Yeah, you know, it's hard trying to please customers all day. And then, at the same time, I'm-I'm worrying, am I making enough money to support my son, you know? neutral communication behavior 38_13 Yeah, and then, you know, with going back to school, you know, I have to figure out how I'm going to pay for everything. So, you know, i-it's just a lot right now. neutral communication behavior 38_15 Mm-hmm. neutral communication behavior 38_17 Well, that's the thing. I-I don't really understand what raised concern. I mean, I don't drink that much, you know. I've-I've gone up to maybe two drinks a day max, you know. sustain communication behavior 38_19 Not much. neutral communication behavior 38_21 Sure. neutral communication behavior 38_23 I don't know, i-it just surprises me because, I mean, two drinks a day, that-that doesn't seem like a problem or risky, you know. And, I have family members who drink a lot more than that per day, and, it's not a problem for them. So, i-it just surprises me. sustain communication behavior 38_25 No. And then, I don't know, I-I'm just getting kind of annoyed, honestly, because, you know, I did agree I would try to work on my smoking, you know. But, with this whole drinking thing, it's like everything that I enjoy, you know, is being taken away from me right now. And so, if I give up drinking, like, what am I going to have to enjoy myself, you know. sustain communication behavior 38_27 Yeah, yeah. neutral communication behavior 38_29 Yeah, I mean, I guess it has. Probably just with being so stressed out every day, you know. I mean, I'm in my second semester of school right now, and so, adding that to everything, uh, it's a lot. And, you know, I'm trying to figure out child carry. Um, normally, my mom will watch my son, but, lately, she can't always. And so, I'm always kind of worrying like, will she be able to, you know. So, i-it's just stressful. neutral communication behavior 38_31 Yeah, I-I guess that's right. neutral communication behavior 38_33 Uh-huh. neutral communication behavior 38_35 Yeah. neutral communication behavior 38_37 No. I guess, you know, the one- the one thing I can think of is, I mean, there will be evenings when I just kind of want to get my son to bed a little earlier, just so that I can have that alone time to unwind, you know, maybe-maybe smoke, have a couple drinks. Um, but, I do feel guilty about that sometimes, because, I should enjoy spending time with my son, but, instead, you know, I'm just wanting to be by myself and relax, you know. So— change communication behavior 38_39 Yeah. neutral communication behavior 38_41 Yeah. neutral communication behavior 38_43 No. neutral communication behavior 38_45 Yeah. neutral communication behavior 38_47 No. And, i-it's just, it's really hard to take in right now. I mean, yeah. I-I've never thought about it like this. And, so, you know, I-I do feel kind of worried. change communication behavior 38_49 Yeah. I mean, i-it's part of my routine right now, and, you know, I-I don't want to sacrifice something I enjoy, but, you know, I'm trying really hard, you know, to be a good mom. I'm-I'm trying to, you know, go-go back to school. I'm trying to work. So, I don't know how I can do all of that if I don't have a way to enjoy myself or relax, you know? neutral communication behavior 38_51 Yeah. neutral communication behavior 38_53 Yeah. neutral communication behavior 38_55 Well, you know, if there was some way that I could relieve some of my stress, I think I would feel better, and, you know, maybe at night, I wouldn't feel like I had to unwind in the same way. change communication behavior 38_57 Um, you know, probably my biggest problem is just childcare. You know, my mom normally watches my son, but she's been kind of backing out lately. And so, I'm worrying, am I going to have to call into work today, am-am I going to have to miss class? You know, so, you know, worrying about that really stresses me out, you know. neutral communication behavior 38_59 Yeah, definitely. neutral communication behavior 38_61 Yeah. I mean, she watches him so much. I think she's just probably getting stressed out too. And, I feel bad because, you know, it's not her son, so i-it shouldn't be her problem, but, I need something that I can rely on better. neutral communication behavior 38_63 Yeah. neutral communication behavior 38_65 Well, I mean, most of my problems always go back to money. You know, i-if I had more money, I could afford daycare, I could work less hours, you know? So, yeah. It's-it's normally related to money. neutral communication behavior 38_68 Yeah. I mean, I'm ready to consider changing my drinking, but, as far as actually doing it, I-I don't know. I mean, I have a lot of problems that I'm trying to work out right now. change communication behavior 38_70 Childcare, probably. neutral communication behavior 38_72 Not really. I mean, I just normally see if my mom can watch my son, so, you know, I haven't really looked around. neutral communication behavior 38_74 Yeah, definitely. neutral communication behavior 38_76 Mm-hmm. neutral communication behavior 38_78 Yeah, I-I think I would. I mean, it's-it's been nice to just talk about everything that's going on. neutral communication behavior 38_80 Mm-hmm. neutral communication behavior 38_82 Mm-mm neutral communication behavior 38_84 Well, I mean, I could at least try to going back to one drink a night instead of two. change communication behavior 38_86 Yeah. I mean, I-I don't know how it's going to go, especially with trying to cut back on smoking already, but, I mean, I can try. change communication behavior 38_88 Yeah. neutral communication behavior 38_90 I don't think so. neutral communication behavior 38_92 Yeah. neutral communication behavior 38_94 Okay. Thanks. neutral communication behavior 39_1 Every time I go-- Excuse me. -to any doctor, you know, you need to quit smoking and— neutral communication behavior 39_3 Uh-huh and I kind of go, let's move on, you know because I've heard the lecture. Um, and I really don't put much credence into what they say. I did have- I did have a neighbor who was smoked for many, many years and, um, she had the Oxygen-- Oxygen tank that she would have to sleep at night with the oxygen on and even that didn't deter me from that smoking. I don't really know. It's like, um, a power greater than myself. This is controlling me like this, you know, the angels on this side, the devil's on the other. sustain communication behavior 39_5 Mm-hmm, yeah. And common sense somewhere in the middle. change communication behavior 39_7 Right. neutral communication behavior 39_9 Right. neutral communication behavior 39_11 Well, you know, I was thinking along the lines of meditation. Um, you know, I- I do practice yoga, um, not consistently, but on and off. Um, and when I was in the hospital, I had to do that breathing apparatus and they didn't want to let me go now, like, you know- you know what, I'm not doing that it's already blurry then to this thing, to see the level, um, some pretty obstinate about it and yet I want to do it, you know? change communication behavior 39_13 Mm-hmm. neutral communication behavior 39_15 Right. Which I barely have any. neutral communication behavior 39_17 Right- right. neutral communication behavior 39_19 Yeah. neutral communication behavior 39_21 Oh, I already have one. neutral communication behavior 39_23 Yeah, [laughs]. neutral communication behavior 39_25 It came home with me. neutral communication behavior 39_27 Yeah. neutral communication behavior 39_29 It's stuff that I learnt in class. neutral communication behavior 39_31 That'd be great, yeah, please. neutral communication behavior 39_33 That's- that's something I'd be really interested in. change communication behavior 39_35 Yeah. I mean, I- I, um, I've always liked therapy itself, and I- I've heard, I don't know if it's accurate, but if you have the willingness that is you're ease- more easily hypnotized, I don't know is it true? change communication behavior 39_37 Well, I mean exercise, but really, you know, I have the mindset, you know, like, okay, tomorrow I'm going to get up and I'm going to do this, but I really am not a follow-through type of person with this. neutral communication behavior 39_39 Because you know I've never been really athletic. I mean, so it's kind of like, I know that when you substitute something for something else, other than chocolate, which is my best friend too, [laughs]. change communication behavior 39_41 Yeah. neutral communication behavior 39_43 You know, I've heard of Welbutrin. neutral communication behavior 39_45 My girlfriend quit smoking. She quit drinking. She quit doing everything with this Wellbutrin. Now I- I- I am on some medications, like some, like I think that's an antidepressant. neutral communication behavior 39_47 Okay. Um, I'd be open to that and then I'm not sure-- I'm not familiar with the other thing that you had suggested. Um, I don't know what that is. change communication behavior 39_50 Um, you know I'd be-- I've heard a little bit about them, but I mean I do know some people, but they're not exactly reliable, um, as far as you know really having a desire and sticking to it that they smoke on the patch and-and then it causes this you know extreme, you know? Like you're getting double the nicotine or whatever so it's almost like they're getting a buzz from it you know so that's my fear and the cost of the patch because it's not covered you know through your, um, your- your insurance and the Nicorette same thing it's very expensive you know. And I'm not really a gum sure but here I am because— sustain communication behavior 39_52 [laughs] but I mean I'd be interested I wish they'd make it more affordable for people or you know they haven't covered by insurance because you know the risk of it you know that the premiums for insurance- insurance for people who smoke are so high you would think that they would have like, um, what do they call that? Preventive. Um, I wish I never would have started and I'm proud of my daughter you know because I started smoking a little bit earlier than her age, and I'm proud that she is at this point not smoking this manifestation she might pick it up but it's- it's like- change communication behavior 39_54 Yeah-yeah, maybe I'm the best example of why she doesn't want to [laughs] you know change communication behavior 39_56 Whatever you know and her friends. I think a lot of her friend's parents don't smoke and I'm constantly running like outside to smoke and-and- change communication behavior 39_58 It is. It really is. It's a monkey on my back change communication behavior 39_60 And um for me smoking is like a calming effect, you know. And some people it's a stimulant you know and then for me, it's like, I look forward to relaxing on my couch after a long day and then watching my you know news or whatever the heck I'm watching or reading and having my cigarette, um, I'll tell you- sustain communication behavior 39_62 Right. Exactly or you know like I'll do some work, and then I'm like okay you know as my ex-husband says Union break and it's a cigarette break. [laughs] sustain communication behavior 39_64 Yeah. Absolutely it's not my quote but he actually he would mind. neutral communication behavior 39_66 Yeah neutral communication behavior 39_68 Yeah, you know how those union workers have to have you know, Union break. neutral communication behavior 39_70 Yeah, financially too, which is [inaudible 00:09:27] change communication behavior 39_72 Well, uh neutral communication behavior 40_0 Pretty good. It's been three months now. neutral communication behavior 40_2 Um, and— neutral communication behavior 40_6 Right. It's been three months, and I've been doing pretty well. change communication behavior 40_8 Um, and I met a couple new friends. neutral communication behavior 40_10 So— neutral communication behavior 40_12 Right. change communication behavior 40_14 Right. It's been good. I haven't answered the phone when he's called- change communication behavior 40_16 -and a couple of my other friends have tried to call me as well, and I haven't answered the phone. Um, so it's been good for me to just reach out and like, meet a couple of new people, um, in the neigh-neighborhood that I'm living in. change communication behavior 40_18 Yeah, the new friends, and I've been using the, you know, the breathing exercises you taught me, when I get-- start to feel a little stressed out, and I've been- I've been using those and it helps me. I go for a walk and do my breathing exercises, and it calms me down and kind of gets me through that time. change communication behavior 41_1 Yes. neutral communication behavior 41_3 I feel great actually. neutral communication behavior 41_5 Yeah. neutral communication behavior 41_7 I feel good. neutral communication behavior 41_9 Yeah. neutral communication behavior 41_11 Yes. It was a good, uh, experience for me. It was different. It was different than usual. There were several things that were different, and, uh, the number one value that I put was self-respect. And I-I don't even know if self-respect has ever been in my top five let alone my number one. change communication behavior 41_13 Yeah. And, um— neutral communication behavior 41_15 I do have an idea, I think, why that is. Um, I think that there's been a few things that have happened recently and something that really came to my awareness, when I visited with my family, is that I have consistently through my whole life, probably, put other people first. And I have consistently, uh, almost not even considered myself in the equation. It was, uh, kind of sad in a way, at the time that I realized it. Uh, I didn't realize how severe it actually was, but I was kind of glad that I realized it because I feel like it's never too late to change- change communication behavior 41_17 -and I feel like I can- I can, uh, respect and value myself just as much as I have other people. I know that's important. And I feel like when I do that, I'm a better person for other people as well. change communication behavior 41_19 Yeah. neutral communication behavior 41_21 Because I get stressed, I get resentful, I get overwhelmed and, uh, out of- out of alignment, I guess, out of sorts. change communication behavior 41_23 And I can't be the best- the best me possible. change communication behavior 41_25 Yeah. change communication behavior 41_27 For myself or for someone else, either way, yeah. change communication behavior 41_29 I-it's almost-- Like, I think that some people might not even think that I put that first, but in my mind and my emotions, I was carrying concern about what other people think, and I was letting that concern dictate my actions. Instead of letting my own values dictate my actions, I was letting what I thought other people wanted me to do to dictate my actions. change communication behavior 41_31 And that's something that I had done for so long, literally since I was a child, that I didn't even know I was doing it. change communication behavior 41_33 Yes, yes. change communication behavior 41_35 Not aware at all. Completely unaware. Totally unaware, yeah. And so to me, I feel like it's a celebration. I used to, uh, moan and complain about my childhood and about all the things that I didn't get to have, and all the cruel, mean things that people said and did, and I felt-- I feel like I had this aha moment where I realized that I could be my own parent, and I could give myself the things that weren't given to me, now. I can give myself a voice. I can give myself an opinion. I can live like that, if I want to. Nobody's stopping me from it, only me. change communication behavior 41_37 So, that's what I want to do. change communication behavior 41_38 Mm-hmm.And it's the first time in my life I haven't felt guilty for saying that. change communication behavior 41_40 I would say so, yeah. I don't know if I've ever said that in front of people and not felt the least twinge of guilt for it. [chuckles] change communication behavior 41_42 No- neutral communication behavior 41_44 -it's not, it's really not. change communication behavior 41_46 Yeah. neutral communication behavior 41_48 Well, it makes me feel jubilant. It makes me feel joyful. It makes me feel hopeful. It makes me feel like I count, like I matter. Uh, it makes me feel like I'm going to be able to do what I want to do with more joy and more passion, and less dread and a sense of responsibility, because one of the things that kind of happened along the way I really didn't notice, is that, um-- Like, let's say for example I like being a teacher or I like being a teacher or I like being a counselor to a certain degree but because of all the shoulds and all of the sense of responsibility and all of the caring about what people think, I started to lose joy doing things I actually enjoy doing. change communication behavior 41_50 Yes, because it turned into an obligation instead of just really really a sense of like you know passion you know. My passion is gone completely. I don't know I'm just happy to, I feel like I got back in touch with myself. It's like I was like lost for a while and now I'm like back again, yes, now I remember why I wanted to do this or like why this is important to me because it is actually one of my values to be and help, but it just has to be, uh, balanced. change communication behavior 41_52 No, but um, the other ones I have on there, uh are, number two, inner harmony. For the same reason, like I feel like I need to harmonious within myself before I can be harmonious with other people. change communication behavior 41_54 Yes, and then I put family happiness. change communication behavior 41_56 Yes, because I think that when I'm at peace with myself, uh, that automatically contributes to my family happiness. When I am unhappy with myself, I bring my unhappiness to my family. change communication behavior 41_58 Uh, yeah, when I don't have self-respect and I am only giving my family a say on who I am and what I should do, I'm angry at them, I quarrel them. neutral communication behavior 41_60 "I resent them, I really do, when I am in the mode. But when I just say, ""Hey, I'm a person of this family and I deserve this much time and energy and attention and just more than anybody else,"" I don't care, you do what I do I do what I do life goes on [chuckles]." change communication behavior 41_62 And then I have health and achievement, and to me, this one on achievement says a sense of accomplishment and to me that kind of goes along with what we were talking about earlier like I think I can show up and be a teacher and be a counselor in many different, uh, capacities. I could be your- I could be- I could be a teacher and I could be a really bad teacher. I could still be a teacher you know, I could show up an I could just do a really poor job and I could go home and I probably could keep my job for a while, it wouldn't be the first time right? neutral communication behavior 41_64 But I don't feel good about that. change communication behavior 41_66 No. neutral communication behavior 41_68 Right, right. neutral communication behavior 41_70 It's not enough for me to just show up and get my paycheck. That doesn't, I don't feel fulfilled so it-it, that's the way I see it going together with the helping. It's not just about helping to like look good or to exhaust myself or do what I think I should do but to really give something needy, something substantive, something real. change communication behavior 41_72 Yeah, meaningful, even if it's-it's small. change communication behavior 41_74 Yeah. neutral communication behavior 41_76 Yeah. Yeah. change communication behavior 41_78 Well, one of the things about this list that kind of surprised me is almost every time I have done this list, uh, creativity and freedom have been really high up there. And it didn't even make it to my top five. It was in my top 12. change communication behavior 41_80 But I think the conclusion that I came to is that I can be more creative and have more freedom if I have inner peace and self-respect. Part of what- part of what binds me, part of what takes my freedom away is when I just explain all over the place and I don't give any attention to myself. Part of what steals my creativity is when I'm- my mind is reeling around in stress and I am not- I can't even hear myself. I can't even hear myself think. How can you be creative if you can't even hear yourself? neutral communication behavior 41_82 Yeah, exactly, to me the creativity comes from the silence, comes from the quiet. It's literally-- I can just be in silence for even if for a few moments. It's amazing the ideas that come to me so quickly and so easily that would take me hours to figure out if I'm stressing. change communication behavior 41_84 Thank you, thank you for listening. change communication behavior 42_0 I don't know, I'm just having a lot of hard trouble trying to lose the rest of the weight. Um, right now, it's like no matter how much I try to exercise, run, or whatever, it doesn't matter like nothing else is coming off. neutral communication behavior 42_2 No, and I don't know what I'm doing wrong because I keep trying the exercise but nothing's happening. change communication behavior 42_4 Yes. neutral communication behavior 42_6 No, and even when I'm coming home, like, I'll go to the gym and then I'm noticing nothing is happening and I'll come home and I try to talk to my mama about it or even my father, and no one even cares about it. Like no one wants to support in it anyway. change communication behavior 42_8 Yes. neutral communication behavior 42_10 No, and specifically my father, he just-- Not only does he not want to support me with it but at the same time, he feels like I need to be gaining my weight back. neutral communication behavior 42_12 So I— neutral communication behavior 42_14 It's as though by me losing weight, it's like I'm somehow disconnecting from my family, and he thinks that I'm trying to form myself to fit into like this perfect American picture and I just want to be healthy, I just want to have a good body and he doesn't think of it that way. neutral communication behavior 43_1 Um, well, you know, I have a lot of anxiety, and so there's this test that I have to take. It's a big test and I've kind of been putting it off just 'cause I get very anxious. I don't trust in myself that I'm going to do good at it. Um, and so that's something that's like always on my mind, it's been on my mind for many years and it's like, I gotta just do it. Um, but I always stop myself from doing that because of the anxiety. And I just want to, I don't want to feel that way. change communication behavior 43_3 Yeah. neutral communication behavior 43_5 Exactly. So, I just avoid it and put it off. neutral communication behavior 43_7 Um, maybe like a four or five. neutral communication behavior 43_9 I mean, because I-I have it set up after like so many years, so I still have a ton of anxiety about it, but I think I'm like kind of making it, maybe that first step. And so that's why I would rate it as like a four or five because I'm making that first step, but it's still scary for me. change communication behavior 43_11 Yeah. neutral communication behavior 43_13 Yes. And I already kind of put it off after s-scheduling it too. So, um, now I'm actually enjoying that because I-I already like changed date and everything. So now it's actually coming. neutral communication behavior 43_15 Yes. neutral communication behavior 43_17 Um, well I think it's this kind of long time coming. I just need to do it and then I can figure out, if I don't pass, I have to wait three more months to do it. And then I just study for the next three months. And if I do, then I can have that weight lifted off my shoulders cause it's been all a lot of weight on me and I think about it every single day. And I'm just sick of thinking about it. change communication behavior 43_19 Yeah. But then I do worry, you know, that negative talk that, you know, when you have anxiety. So then I worry about if I don't pass it, you know, like people are going to ask me how I did and if I don't pass it I'm gonna have to tell them, it's embarrassing for me. Um, so that makes me really anxious. neutral communication behavior 43_21 Right. neutral communication behavior 43_23 Uh, I would say maybe like four or five years ago, um, I had to do a recording for work and I did not want to do it. I was trying to find every way that I can get out of during this recording. And, um, and then I played my recording and because of the way sometimes I carry myself, like not confident and very anxious, um, I think other people don't always believe in me. neutral communication behavior 43_24 And so, um, when I played the recording, it actually ended up being one of the best recordings and like my supervisor and our national consultant, they were very like shocked about it because it because of just was the way I carried myself. So I thought, I don't really like compliments that makes me, um, anxious too again people compliment me, but it was a nice feeling because I really didn't trust in myself. And to know that I did a good job. neutral communication behavior 43_26 Um, it made me feel good. neutral communication behavior 43_28 Yeah, I did. neutral communication behavior 43_30 Yeah. neutral communication behavior 43_32 I mean, I think again, like all that anxiety, the same anxiety I had with that I have with those tests. And so, um, but that if I pass this test, if I could have that same feeling that I had, like when I did a good job like the-- you know, I mean, I would like to have that feeling again. change communication behavior 43_34 You know. neutral communication behavior 43_36 Right neutral communication behavior 43_38 Yeah. neutral communication behavior 43_40 Well, considering this test is coming on the way in a few days, um, I think, for me and just like practicing and just really seeing how I do and if I do well, then I think my confidence might go up a little bit. change communication behavior 43_42 And maybe just having that faith in myself that, you know, that I can do it instead of just thinking that I can't. change communication behavior 43_44 Yeah. Mm-hmm. change communication behavior 43_46 Yeah. change communication behavior 43_48 Thank you. neutral communication behavior 45_1 Fine. Where do you want me to sign? neutral communication behavior 45_3 Not really. neutral communication behavior 45_5 Yeah, whatever. I just, yeah. neutral communication behavior 45_7 It's just like the same thing every day like, I don't really know why. Like um, so I signed your paper, why are asking me all these questions? neutral communication behavior 45_9 Yup. neutral communication behavior 45_11 I guess so. neutral communication behavior 45_13 So you just wanna know my business? neutral communication behavior 45_15 Mm-hmm. neutral communication behavior 45_17 Mm-hmm. neutral communication behavior 45_19 Mm-hmm. neutral communication behavior 45_21 Yeah. I mean I guess I'll be here if I have to be but I can't make any promises that I won't leave. neutral communication behavior 45_23 No, 'cause this just kinda feels like why do you need to know my business? Why do you care? neutral communication behavior 45_25 Mm-hmm. neutral communication behavior 45_27 It's just like a lot. neutral communication behavior 45_29 And you feel like there's all these rules. neutral communication behavior 45_31 Mm-hmm. neutral communication behavior 45_33 Right, I think that's the only thing that I wish I had now. change communication behavior 45_35 Mm-hmm. neutral communication behavior 45_37 I guess like your sign your papers. change communication behavior 45_39 Mm-hmm. neutral communication behavior 45_41 Not do this again so that I don't ever have to be here and be stuck in my house and all of these people coming to visit me and know my business. change communication behavior 45_43 Yup. neutral communication behavior 45_45 Mm-hmm. neutral communication behavior 45_47 Not really. neutral communication behavior 45_49 All right. neutral communication behavior 45_51 Bye. neutral communication behavior 46_1 No. neutral communication behavior 46_3 Sure. neutral communication behavior 46_5 Yeah. neutral communication behavior 46_7 It's not a big deal. Sometimes with my friends, we'll drink a few beers and when we're hanging out or when we're at a party, and sometimes rum and cokes. sustain communication behavior 46_9 Um, three or four, probably. I don't keep track. sustain communication behavior 46_11 Um, probably about once or twice a month. neutral communication behavior 46_13 Probably since last October. neutral communication behavior 46_15 What do I like about it? neutral communication behavior 46_17 Um, I don't know. It's just fun to drink with my friends, like when we're at a party at someone else's house, and we're drinking with other people that we don't know. It tastes good. sustain communication behavior 46_19 Mm-hmm. neutral communication behavior 46_21 Um, I don't like when I get sick in the mornings 'cause of hangovers and- change communication behavior 46_23 -when I start throwing up, that's not- I don't like that. change communication behavior 46_25 No, but that happened to someone I know, though. neutral communication behavior 46_27 Um, one time I missed first period of school 'cause I had a hangover and I was late getting up. change communication behavior 46_29 Mm, mom got mad at me 'cause I wouldn't get out of bed and she said she knew I had a hangover. change communication behavior 46_31 No, but I got grounded for two weeks after that. [chuckles] change communication behavior 46_33 Yeah, but I only missed school once. sustain communication behavior 46_35 Yeah. neutral communication behavior 46_37 Okay. neutral communication behavior 46_39 Um, probably a five. neutral communication behavior 46_41 Well, I guess I'm just tired of getting in trouble. change communication behavior 46_43 Um, not drink. change communication behavior 46_45 No, not really. sustain communication behavior 46_47 I could probably do that. change communication behavior 46_49 I don't know. neutral communication behavior 46_51 Yeah, probably. change communication behavior 46_53 Um, I could probably drink something else when my friends are drinking, like just coke. change communication behavior 46_55 I can probably hang out with some of my friends who don't drink or inviting them to parties and having fun 'cause not everyone drinks at parties. change communication behavior 46_57 Yeah. The-- My friends who don't drink would probably be happy that I'm not drinking either and yes, they'd support me. change communication behavior 46_59 Okay. neutral communication behavior 47_1 Fine. neutral communication behavior 47_3 It's not really any of your business. neutral communication behavior 47_5 Mm-hmm. neutral communication behavior 47_7 Hmm. neutral communication behavior 47_9 Okay. neutral communication behavior 47_11 Okay. neutral communication behavior 47_13 Okay. neutral communication behavior 48_0 You know that my friends were happy, um, that I'm like this cool person who moved from in the middle of nowhere, has a strange accent that- neutral communication behavior 48_2 -they like all my stories, they are really receptive- neutral communication behavior 48_4 -but they don't know that I have one diabetes story. neutral communication behavior 48_6 That one I haven't shared yet. neutral communication behavior 48_8 So, I guess I'll make it short to exactly the incident 'cause I know we can't avoid it now. Uh, yeah, well, that one what happened was I-I was invited to my first party in this crew- neutral communication behavior 48_10 -which I was super excited about. neutral communication behavior 48_12 But, it was an evening party and we all wore really nice dresses- neutral communication behavior 48_14 -the short ones, the really huggy ones. [chuckles] neutral communication behavior 48_16 So I actually decided, and I know this wasn't the smartest decision of mine, but I did not wear my insulin pump. change communication behavior 48_18 Which was the reason why I didn't want quite to address 'cause I know better. I- change communication behavior 48_20 Yes, I know, I know, I know. neutral communication behavior 48_22 Like the learning is done but- change communication behavior 48_24 -but yes I guess it's unavoidable that we address it. [laughter] neutral communication behavior 48_26 Yeah. change communication behavior 49_1 Mm. neutral communication behavior 49_3 I suppose, my expectations are a wee bit clearer as to why I'm here. neutral communication behavior 49_5 I guess, I'm-- It made me think about how much money I have been losing recently. So, yeah. I'm happier to be here. [chuckles] change communication behavior 49_7 Mm-hmm. neutral communication behavior 49_9 Mm. neutral communication behavior 49_11 Mm-hmm. neutral communication behavior 49_13 Mm-hmm. neutral communication behavior 49_15 Yeah. I'm happy to explore it, so to speak. [chuckles] neutral communication behavior 49_17 Yeah. neutral communication behavior 49_19 Yeah. neutral communication behavior 49_21 Hmm. I don't know, I probably lock off a wee bit. [chuckles] neutral communication behavior 49_23 Yeah, um. I'm sure you've already noticed. [chuckles] Um, I don't know, probably fidget. neutral communication behavior 49_25 That's why I am still a bit— neutral communication behavior 49_27 [chuckles] neutral communication behavior 49_29 When I'm feeling uncomfortable? neutral communication behavior 49_31 Okay. neutral communication behavior 49_33 Mm-hmm. neutral communication behavior 49_35 Mm. neutral communication behavior 49_37 [sighs] I suppose it's really serious if I wanna get out of my-my-my debt. change communication behavior 49_39 Credit comes out of my ears, and mom and dad aren't bailing me out anymore, so- change communication behavior 49_41 -I suppose, I've gotta sort it out myself. change communication behavior 49_43 About 80. [chuckles] change communication behavior 49_45 I'm gonna say, I'm completely confident. change communication behavior 49_47 Yes. neutral communication behavior 49_49 What, on my confidence to stop? [chuckles] neutral communication behavior 49_51 It's hard when it's part of your lifestyle, you know? sustain communication behavior 49_53 When I went with my girlfriends to the pub last night and I went and hit a bit of a flutter- sustain communication behavior 49_55 -so, you know, I think I'm a bit weird if I just sit-sit at the bar on my own. [chuckles] sustain communication behavior 49_57 Yeah. neutral communication behavior 49_59 Oh, I had to stop halfway 'cause I'd ran out of money. [chuckles] sustain communication behavior 49_61 Mm-hmm. neutral communication behavior 49_63 Yeah. neutral communication behavior 49_65 Mm-hmm. neutral communication behavior 49_67 Yeah. neutral communication behavior 49_69 I don't know, but I'd like to get back on track, but— change communication behavior 49_71 Not really planning on spending my life in debt. [chuckles] change communication behavior 49_73 I don't mind traveling, and, you know, I've got friends that are saving for the [unintelligible 00:18:27] and I'm 25 and working in retail, and got four credit cards- change communication behavior 49_75 -so I won't be doing any traveling any time soon. change communication behavior 49_77 Maybe I wanna have traveled and found the man of my dreams. [chuckles] neutral communication behavior 49_79 I don't know. Kids maybe, but- neutral communication behavior 49_81 -I'm not gonna- [sighs] I'm not gonna make a decent mom the way I am, at the moment, am I? So I probably need to get on track at some stage. [chuckles] I'll be pushing 30 and still in debt, at this rate. change communication behavior 49_83 Yeah. neutral communication behavior 49_85 [chuckles] neutral communication behavior 49_87 Mm. neutral communication behavior 49_89 Yeah. neutral communication behavior 49_91 Party girl at 30s is a bit sad, really, isn't it? [chuckles] change communication behavior 49_93 I don't know. It's been fun up to now- sustain communication behavior 49_95 -but I really do wanna travel, so. neutral communication behavior 49_97 Um, Egypt, always been, yeah. neutral communication behavior 49_99 Yeah. neutral communication behavior 49_101 Oh, I just think it's just fascinating. neutral communication behavior 49_103 Yeah. Just the, um, the outlook, and the culture and the history and- neutral communication behavior 49_105 -somewhere I've always wanted to go. neutral communication behavior 49_107 It's not the safest place at the moment, mind you, but [chuckles]. neutral communication behavior 49_109 Yeah. neutral communication behavior 49_111 Yep. neutral communication behavior 49_113 Mm-hmm. neutral communication behavior 49_115 Oh, since I was young, early teens. neutral communication behavior 49_117 Yeah. neutral communication behavior 49_119 Yeah, well, I suppose with the amount of money I've spent over the last five years I probably could have gone to Egypt and back five times by now. [chuckles] change communication behavior 49_121 Mm. neutral communication behavior 49_123 Mm. neutral communication behavior 49_125 I believe then to cut off some of my friendships. Um, 'cause since you see that's, you know, part of their lifestyle. change communication behavior 49_127 Yeah. It will be a big change. neutral communication behavior 49_129 Seems like a bit of an unrealistic dream. Um, and I'd like to take the first step but, uh, that's gonna be easy. change communication behavior 49_131 Probably, um, [chuckles] cutting up the credit cards for a starter, and trying to restrain myself, and not to be led into temptation, I suppose, so. change communication behavior 49_133 You know, if the pokies are at the pubs, just don't go to the pub. [chuckles] change communication behavior 49_135 Mm-hmm. neutral communication behavior 49_137 Mm. [chuckles] neutral communication behavior 49_139 Mm. neutral communication behavior 49_141 Um, I haven't managed it to-to this point, so [chuckles] I don't know. neutral communication behavior 49_143 Um, I suppose I've just got to get tougher with myself. change communication behavior 49_145 What? Cutting off some of my friendships? change communication behavior 49_147 Mm. neutral communication behavior 49_149 Mm-hmm. neutral communication behavior 49_151 Mm-hmm. neutral communication behavior 49_153 Yeah. neutral communication behavior 49_155 Mm. neutral communication behavior 49_157 Mm-hmm. neutral communication behavior 49_159 Mm. Yeah. neutral communication behavior 49_161 Mm-hmm. neutral communication behavior 49_163 Yeah. neutral communication behavior 49_165 Find the scissors. [laughs] change communication behavior 49_167 Cut out the girls. change communication behavior 49_169 Then, um, I don't know if the debts are still gonna be there or not but I-I've gotta find- neutral communication behavior 49_171 -a way to pay them off and- change communication behavior 49_173 -I don't know how I'm gonna do that. neutral communication behavior 49_175 Mm-hmm. neutral communication behavior 49_177 Mm. neutral communication behavior 49_179 Mm-hmm, that will be good. neutral communication behavior 49_181 Yeah. neutral communication behavior 50_0 So, uh, I guess the issue is that, um, you know, my doctor seems to think that my-my blood pressure's a little high, but I really don't think that there's a problem. And you know, I eat really well. Um. And, you know, she suggested that, um, I watch my caffeine but really, caffeine is not a problem for me. sustain communication behavior 50_2 Well, you know, sometimes it makes me a little jittery and, you know, I have to go to the bathroom more frequently than some of my co-workers, but-- And-and working, um, in the hospital, they don't really look so highly on-on going the bathroom frequently. But you know, it-it keeps me awake, it keeps me aware, it-it makes me more able to like, you know, do my job better. And so I really don't see that it's a-it's a real issue. sustain communication behavior 50_4 Um, you know, and-and-- I mean, maybe my blood pressure is a little high, but— neutral communication behavior 50_6 Mm-hmm. neutral communication behavior 50_8 Right. neutral communication behavior 50_12 Yeah, yeah. Well, you know, and sometimes, like I said, it does kind of make me a little jittery and, um, I don't know. I-I-I'm not- I'm not as happy and relaxed as I normally am. But you know, I-I really like it, and-and like I said, it makes me more aware of what's going on and-and I'm-- I-I feel like I'm much more observant. neutral communication behavior 50_14 Yeah. I have about four cups a day. neutral communication behavior 50_16 Yeah. I mean, I've-- I mean, it's the co-workers that-that work at night. Gosh, they bring in a carafe. neutral communication behavior 50_18 And, uh, I-I can only imagine- neutral communication behavior 50_20 -what-what their bodies are like. neutral communication behavior 50_22 Reducing it, like-- what do you mean? neutral communication behavior 50_24 Yeah, yeah but, I mean, how-how much are we talking? neutral communication behavior 50_26 Mm-hmm. neutral communication behavior 50_28 You're probably-- you know, because I-I gotta have that morning cup, I really-- you know I really like waking up and-and that whole ritual. The, um-- you know, making the coffee and- sustain communication behavior 50_30 -I just really like the flavors. sustain communication behavior 50_32 So I-I definitely don't want to give that up, but— sustain communication behavior 50_36 Mm-hmm. neutral communication behavior 50_38 And then, of course, you know, working a 12-hour shift, I-I really think that, you know, the afternoon to keep me going until the evening is-is a really good idea too. sustain communication behavior 50_40 I could probably get up the mid-morning. change communication behavior 50_42 Yeah, yeah, yeah. neutral communication behavior 50_44 Mm-hmm. neutral communication behavior 50_46 I think that does sound all right. change communication behavior 50_48 Yeah. neutral communication behavior 50_50 I think I could do that. change communication behavior 51_1 Uh, well, I know the flu can be pretty bad, but I'm in pretty good health, so I don't really feel like I need it. Uh, it's kind of just more for old people, right? sustain communication behavior 51_3 Yeah. neutral communication behavior 51_5 Okay. neutral communication behavior 51_7 Okay. neutral communication behavior 51_9 Well, my grandparents probably wouldn't handle the flu very well- neutral communication behavior 51_11 -and my co-worker is pregnant too. neutral communication behavior 51_13 So-so, yeah, I guess, I should, uh, get it for their sake. change communication behavior 51_15 Yeah. neutral communication behavior 52_1 You're welcome. neutral communication behavior 52_3 Well, a friend and I would snuck out one night to go to the park, and we got a couple of beers from his house, but the cop came by, and so we threw them in the bushes. He was originally gonna give us a curfew ticket but ended up not to. Luckily, he didn't see the beer. sustain communication behavior 52_5 Yeah, it was. If my mom would have found out, she would've killed me. neutral communication behavior 52_7 Well, I've only tried drinking once or twice. neutral communication behavior 52_9 Yeah, that's right. neutral communication behavior 52_11 Well, I'm not sure if this information is for me, since I've only been drinking once or twice. sustain communication behavior 52_13 Well, all I really know is that it's not good for you. change communication behavior 52_15 Yeah, and a couple of my friends drink too. sustain communication behavior 52_17 I really didn't think about how this would affect me playing sports. change communication behavior 52_19 Yeah, I would like to play soccer in college. neutral communication behavior 52_21 Yeah, I would also like to get scholarships. neutral communication behavior 52_23 Yeah. neutral communication behavior 52_25 Well, I will take a look at it, and I'll definitely read it, and I don't wanna become addicted, and I would like to continue to play sports as long as possible. change communication behavior 52_27 Thanks for all the information. neutral communication behavior 54_1 Hi. neutral communication behavior 54_3 I do. change communication behavior 54_5 Well, I just can't seem to get back in the gym. I don't wanna-- I-I used to work out quite a bit, and in the last, I dunno, couple of years I've just-- I stopped going. I got busy, and now I'm out of the habit, and I-I really, I dunno, I feel like I need to get back. change communication behavior 54_7 Okay. Um. All right. Um— neutral communication behavior 54_9 Uh, I belong to the-the Sport Fitness Center. neutral communication behavior 54_11 Just a couple of miles. neutral communication behavior 54_13 If I walked that far, I probably wouldn't even need to go to the gym, right? neutral communication behavior 54_15 [inaudible 00:01:33] training. neutral communication behavior 54_17 It-it-it would be important. change communication behavior 54_19 Well, I-I-I-I would feel better. My-- I'd-I'd be able to wear more my clothes. I've been growing around the middle and I'd like to, uh, you know, go back to where I was, you know, get into a 34, 36 waist, you know. change communication behavior 54_21 I-I'm more comfortable-- I feel better. I think that's the main thing. change communication behavior 54_23 Yeah, yeah. It-it-it-- I-I am- I'm not getting any younger than I [unintelligible 00:02:18] change communication behavior 54_25 Yeah. change communication behavior 54_27 I've gotta make time. change communication behavior 54_29 I've gotta make time. change communication behavior 54_31 Yeah. Okay. neutral communication behavior 54_33 All right. neutral communication behavior 54_35 Okay. neutral communication behavior 54_37 Okay. neutral communication behavior 54_39 Okay. Very good. Thanks. neutral communication behavior 55_1 Uh, yeah. Yeah, that's fine. neutral communication behavior 55_3 Uh, mostly in my left arm. neutral communication behavior 55_5 Uh, no. That's okay. How's that? neutral communication behavior 55_7 Uh, nope. It feels okay. neutral communication behavior 55_9 Uh, yeah, that's fine. neutral communication behavior 55_11 Uh, I don't know. Um, I use maybe a few times a week. neutral communication behavior 55_13 Syringes? Uh, sometimes I'll buy them at Walgreens. Most times I'll just get them from the needle exchange. neutral communication behavior 55_15 Uh, Northeast Glisan. neutral communication behavior 55_17 Yeah, I use new needles every time, I never share. neutral communication behavior 55_19 Yeah, that's right. neutral communication behavior 55_21 Mm-hmm, yap. neutral communication behavior 55_23 Uh, yeah. Yeah, if it's, uh, you know, if it's been a couple of days like I can go two days, three days tops before I start to feel really sick. neutral communication behavior 55_25 Uh, geez. Yeah, I mean, it's the obvious stuff like my stomach feels sick, I get the body aches, uh, cold, hot, chills. Uh, everything hurts. Everything is in extremes. My emotions are in extremes. Uh, yeah, it sucks. I don't want to do anything. I just want to stay home and just stay in bed. neutral communication behavior 55_27 Yeah, I mean, I start to use, I get loaded. sustain communication behavior 55_29 Uh, you know, I get loaded and I-I can- I can function. I can go to work and, you know, do normal things, you know. Uh, I mean, there's been maybe just a couple of times where I wasn't feeling all that well, and I, uh, I was late a couple of times to work or it might overslept from the night before or whatever, but it's about it. Uh, I just want to avoid getting sick right now. That's my main priority. sustain communication behavior 55_31 Um, well, you know, I like the way it feels. Um, you know what I mean? When I shoot up my anxiety, goes away, my depression goes away. Uh, things that usually make life really difficult, uh, get a lot easier. sustain communication behavior 55_33 Uh, yeah. I mean, I think everybody who uses at least has some concern of overdosing on some level. Right? Uh, so that's something I'm concerned about is accidentally overdosing. And, uh, yeah, I mean, I don't want to get an infection in my arm, you know, just the usual things. I have a hard time hitting veins sometimes, and I gotta dig around a little bit and I would get worried about, you know, hitting something that I shouldn't or, you know, getting infections. change communication behavior 55_35 Yeah, that's right. neutral communication behavior 55_37 I don't know. neutral communication behavior 55_39 Uh, are you talking about Narcan? Is that the same thing? neutral communication behavior 55_41 Yeah, I got some of that already. I got it from the needle exchange. neutral communication behavior 55_43 Uh, at home mostly. neutral communication behavior 55_45 I mean, that's a concern, of course, right? Uh, I'm on the app just in case somebody nearby is OD-ing and I can get pinged. But no, mostly I just keep it in case I overdose, uh, and, uh, I'm realizing now I have it but I haven't told my roommate about it so— neutral communication behavior 55_47 Yeah, that's what I'm thinking. neutral communication behavior 55_49 I would really like a little bit of information on, uh, injecting in my arm. change communication behavior 55_51 Okay. neutral communication behavior 55_53 Mm-hmm. Yeah. neutral communication behavior 55_55 I'd probably say 10. change communication behavior 55_57 Well, uh, I don't want to have an overdose and I don't want to get an infection. Seems like easy things to do. change communication behavior 55_59 Um, well, I can talk to my housemate tomorrow night. I'm pretty sure that he doesn't work tomorrow night so he'll be around. change communication behavior 55_61 Uh, if you could email me that right now, that'd be great. change communication behavior 55_63 Uh, yeah, yeah. It's fine. Let's do that. neutral communication behavior 56_1 Pretty good. neutral communication behavior 56_3 Yeah. Um, I'm glad to be there. neutral communication behavior 56_5 Uh, well, I'm glad to see my dog, he's very cute, and it just feels good to be home. neutral communication behavior 56_7 Yeah. And my garden is coming along, and my neighbors have stuff-- It's-it's good. It's good to be home. neutral communication behavior 56_9 Well, um. I-I didn't get- go to physical therapy this week, and the- or Tai Chi, actually. sustain communication behavior 56_11 Yeah. Well, um. Actually, I-I had a little semi fall, I didn't fall down, I didn't fall down completely but I-I did-- I guess I still had the wobblies and I was hoping that the physical therapy and the Tai Chi would be- get me further along than it has, and I-I still don't have the balance. So, I'm thinking that maybe I was pushing too hard, that maybe I should cut back, you know, and kind of not try so hard to-to keep moving like that. sustain communication behavior 56_13 Yeah. neutral communication behavior 56_15 Yes. neutral communication behavior 56_17 Yeah. neutral communication behavior 56_19 Yeah, yeah. neutral communication behavior 56_21 So I'm-I'm-I cut back, and I-I don't know if I should really even continue the Tai Chi because it's-it's very demanding. sustain communication behavior 56_23 Uh, it's beautiful and-and- but, um, yeah. neutral communication behavior 56_25 That I'll- that I'll fall again. sustain communication behavior 56_27 I'll really fall and hurt myself, and this way, if I don't move around so much, there's less chance that I will. sustain communication behavior 56_29 No. neutral communication behavior 56_31 No, I didn't- it was just more scary, and it was like a-a signal that maybe I'm doing too much. sustain communication behavior 56_33 Yeah. neutral communication behavior 56_35 Well, yeah, if I- if I lose my balance and fall down, I could- anything, you know, really get hurt, and then-then I wouldn't be able to be home anymore, and that's not what I want. I want to stay home. So I want to do what I have to do to-to-to stay home. sustain communication behavior 56_37 Yeah. [laughs] Yes, you've put it very well, hunker down- sustain communication behavior 56_39 Watch the TV and pet my dog. I-I, you know, not to that extreme, but yeah, I think- I think maybe, um, yeah, I was-was going- pushing too hard. sustain communication behavior 56_41 And I'm not sure about the Tai Chi anymore. I-I think the physical therapy, I can understand that, but I'm not so sure about the Tai Chi. sustain communication behavior 56_43 Yeah. neutral communication behavior 56_45 Right, right. neutral communication behavior 56_47 She did. Sh-- Yeah, that's right, that's right. She said that they did studies and that they found that it was really preventative. I think she's- I forget the-the percentage, but yeah, she was really enthusiastic and she does it herself. neutral communication behavior 56_49 Yeah. neutral communication behavior 56_51 "That's a strong word, isn't it, ""betrayed"". Um, wow. A little, but-but I-I know, I know that it's true. I mean, my friend who does Tai Chi, she just- she loves it. Maybe it's just not for me, you know." sustain communication behavior 56_53 But, um- neutral communication behavior 56_55 Right. neutral communication behavior 56_57 Yeah. neutral communication behavior 56_59 Absolutely, that- because I don't- now I'm-I'm feeling- neutral communication behavior 56_61 -really a little frightened that what if- what if I fall down and-and-and nobody comes around and I'm lying there for two days, you know. I may have heard about that. sustain communication behavior 56_63 So, um, 'cause I am alone. neutral communication behavior 56_65 So— neutral communication behavior 56_67 Yeah. neutral communication behavior 56_69 Well, the-- I think that there's some things that could be done to-- I know people who live in-in residence, they have a cord they can pull, but how do they get to the cord? Um, is there any- anything else that I could do just to communicate if-if- neutral communication behavior 56_71 -if something does happen? neutral communication behavior 56_73 I think I saw something like that on TV. neutral communication behavior 56_75 Is it- does it really work? neutral communication behavior 56_77 'Cause you know that they sell so much stuff on TV, it's like you could- [crosstalk] neutral communication behavior 56_79 It's crazy, it's crazy. neutral communication behavior 56_81 Yeah. I guess so, feeling a little scared- neutral communication behavior 56_83 -you know, about that happening and- neutral communication behavior 56_85 So, yeah, it's probably a signal to-to make some-some changes. change communication behavior 56_87 Like I don't wanna go back to the hospital, right? I really don't. Do I have to? change communication behavior 56_89 Yeah. neutral communication behavior 56_91 That I will definitely- I definitely wanna do that. change communication behavior 56_93 I definitely wanna do that. change communication behavior 56_95 Well, I- maybe they-they-- When I first came home, they had somebody come and show me some things in-in the house, but maybe a refresher of that, and they told me that I should exercise and-and, um, I guess I could-- Maybe support, maybe I'm looking for-for maybe a buddy or something, some way that I could be reminded. I'm feeling a little, you know, I was moving along and things were feeling more positive, it's sort of like two steps forward and- change communication behavior 56_97 -one step back, but now it's to step forward and three steps back. [laughs] neutral communication behavior 56_99 So, um, is there, yeah, like a support somehow? My daughter is very good and she calls me, but you know, she-she lives in Seattle, she lives- change communication behavior 56_101 -far away. neutral communication behavior 56_103 So- and I don't wanna impose on my neighbors or my friends. neutral communication behavior 56_105 Mm-hmm. neutral communication behavior 56_107 Yeah. neutral communication behavior 56_109 Yeah. neutral communication behavior 56_111 Right. neutral communication behavior 56_113 Yeah, that would be good. Do you think I should try to go back to the Tai Chi? change communication behavior 56_115 Yes, great place. change communication behavior 56_117 Yeah. I guess I've kind of gone to the extreme. I tend to do that. [chuckles] Yeah. So, keep moving? change communication behavior 56_119 Yeah. neutral communication behavior 56_121 Really? neutral communication behavior 56_123 Oh, okay. neutral communication behavior 56_125 Uh-huh. neutral communication behavior 56_127 Okay. Okay. Okay. I-I'm willing to start again, so to speak. change communication behavior 56_129 Yeah. It's scary. sustain communication behavior 56_131 Well, I'm willing to work through my fears and difficulties to be in my little house with my little dog and my little garden. I've been there for- since my husband and I got married, and that's where we lived, and I don't want to give it up yet. change communication behavior 56_133 Yeah. neutral communication behavior 56_135 Yeah. I- neutral communication behavior 56_137 -I-I am. And I feel like I have some help. change communication behavior 56_139 Okay. neutral communication behavior 56_141 So, am I being a baby? neutral communication behavior 56_143 Okay. neutral communication behavior 56_145 Really? neutral communication behavior 56_147 Really? neutral communication behavior 56_149 Thank you. Thank you. neutral communication behavior 56_151 Well, and she- she's not going to throw me back into the hospital? neutral communication behavior 56_153 Not yet? [laughs] Okay. Yeah. I was sort of- I-I was sort of hesitant to tell you- neutral communication behavior 56_155 -about- neutral communication behavior 56_157 -this, but, um, uh, I'm sort of glad I did. I'm very glad I did. neutral communication behavior 56_159 Yeah. neutral communication behavior 56_161 Yeah. So the-the caseworker is gonna be able to come and refresh- neutral communication behavior 56_163 -me? neutral communication behavior 56_165 And-and that's-- Yeah. neutral communication behavior 56_167 I mean, that alone, to know that I have communication that I w- that was my biggest fear that something- neutral communication behavior 56_169 -would happen and I wouldn't have any- neutral communication behavior 56_171 -any way to tell anybody. neutral communication behavior 56_173 Okay. neutral communication behavior 58_1 Hi. neutral communication behavior 58_3 Yeah. neutral communication behavior 58_5 Well, I'm, uh, I-I used to work out pretty good. I-I would go to the gym several times a week. I had kind of a schedule, um— neutral communication behavior 58_7 Yeah, well, you know, it really-- At-at one time, I was running-- I ran a half marathon. I was really into it, and, uh--. neutral communication behavior 58_9 Well, and I-- But I was working at a different company, where I had a little bit different schedule, a little more free time than I have now, so I just don't have the time like I used to. sustain communication behavior 58_11 And I-- And really, it's kind of an excuse, I guess, cause I-I could probably make the time, but it's-it's easier to just keep working or- change communication behavior 58_13 -just being in bed or whatever. neutral communication behavior 58_15 I-it was. A-and it was huge for me cause I'd never really been a runner, you know, but it-it was very motivating, and-and— change communication behavior 58_17 I don't know. I guess there's kind of an adrenaline rush to it. Kinda almost like, you know, uh, kind of a high, I guess. change communication behavior 58_19 So yeah-- That's-- I-I really enjoyed it. And I-I liked the feeling that I was doing something good for myself. I liked that, too. I-it kind of-- It so-- It gave me a little bit of self-esteem, I guess. change communication behavior 58_21 I-I subscribed to the magazine a while. neutral communication behavior 58_23 I did. change communication behavior 58_25 I let-- I lit it on fire but I- neutral communication behavior 58_27 -I did burn for a time. neutral communication behavior 58_29 I got into the whole culture. I was-- I-I felt as good as I’ve felt in many, many years. And now I’ve kind of let that all slide, and-- Well, I had a foot injury, too, which kind of started the whole problem. change communication behavior 58_31 It-it is. And I-- it-it may be why I can’t really run again, but I can certainly, you know, ride a stationary bike- change communication behavior 58_33 -and do all the other things in a gym that you can do when you’re not running, so, it just nakes you to [unintelligible 00:02:23] change communication behavior 58_35 Um, well, um, I like-- The bike is pretty good. Uh, even the uh, you know, the kind of a rolling machine is okay. And the uh, the elliptical. Any of that’s fine. I-I really don’t, uh-- I don’t dislike any of it. Kind of once you get into the rhythm, yeah, it’s fine change communication behavior 58_37 Probably the elliptical. change communication behavior 58_39 Well, it is. change communication behavior 58_41 It is without any of the impact, so it is true. change communication behavior 58_43 Yeah, I do headphones. neutral communication behavior 58_45 I got my headphones, and I got my, uh, kind of [unintelligible 00:03:24], if you know what I mean neutral communication behavior 58_47 Yeah neutral communication behavior 58_49 Yeah. I was going literally every other day, you know. And then, some days I would, you know, I’d run, and I’d go to the gym the next day, so I would-- I was very-- I don’t really feel it necessary to get back to that level, but I need to do something cause I’m doing nothing right now. change communication behavior 58_51 I should-- Or next to nothing. I walk to the grocery store or whatever’s handy when I have time, but yeah. neutral communication behavior 58_53 Well, if I could just get myself over there once, 'cause usually that’s the hardest thing. It’s just going there. So I think that's-- You know, I’ve thought about it a little bit, I think I just need to make that first trip over there and just kind of to take it easy that first time. Just show up 'cause I think that’s really what I need to do. I justt need to go over there. change communication behavior 58_55 Um, knowing that my schedule isn’t gonna be too crazy that day where I could spare an hour or so, and-and just go do it. change communication behavior 58_57 And then I-- [unintelligible 00:04:41] kinda nice [unintelligible 00:4:42] gonna be troublesome. neutral communication behavior 58_59 Um, I don’t know. I think- I think the time has just been the biggest thing, you know, and-and I-I guess the motivation really hasn’t been there. I mean, you know, it’s not like- I don’t really have a goal. I don’t really have a, you know I don't, other than maybe reducing my waistline, you know, I don't really have a-a set number like I'm gonna run a marathon and you know. change communication behavior 58_61 You know, so I think the just running off the playlist. I-I guess maybe if I made a goal would helped too. change communication behavior 58_63 Yeah. neutral communication behavior 58_65 Plus there's people who have done that countless times and you can go read what their- change communication behavior 58_67 -regimen was so you get feedback too. And then [unintelligible 00:05:37] did this from this day and so on. change communication behavior 58_69 Yeah. Maybe. change communication behavior 58_71 That might not be be a bad idea. [inaudible 00:05:59] change communication behavior 58_74 I think that'd be great. I-I never have really found anybody that like to exercise with the pace that I wanted to. They were all either going way too fast or not even moving at all. change communication behavior 58_78 -might be a challenge. neutral communication behavior 58_80 Yeah, that's right, well I- neutral communication behavior 58_82 Okay, that's a great idea I hadn't thought of that-that's- I hadn't really, uh, I-I kinda dismissed that early on, I hadn't really even considered that, yeah. change communication behavior 58_84 If I could get there-- I know if I could get there-- if I could pick, you know, uh, these are the days I'm going to go to the gym and I know these things last time. change communication behavior 58_86 So if I- if I could-- I mean, I wanna get there three times a week. change communication behavior 58_88 I wanna get there on Saturdays or Sundays and Tuesdays and Fridays, or something like that, then I could probably [unintelligible 00:07:34] change communication behavior 58_90 Right, yeah. Well, it's just not- neutral communication behavior 58_92 Oh yeah, yeah, it doesn't do any good to just try to injure your- injure yourself especially when you're a bit normal like me. neutral communication behavior 58_94 You gotta get over there. neutral communication behavior 58_96 Very good. neutral communication behavior 58_98 Thank you. neutral communication behavior 58_100 All right, bye-bye. neutral communication behavior 60_0 It's good. neutral communication behavior 60_2 Um, another thing-- Wait, what, I had something, it's just [inaudible 00:00:03] that I wanted to ask you, um, now a lot of my friends have quit smoking. They're getting like ostracized, but, you know, I tend to, like, gravitate, you know, towards-- Like my ex-husband smokes, you know- sustain communication behavior 60_4 -so I find it like acceptable in that regard. sustain communication behavior 60_6 Mm-hmm, yeah. neutral communication behavior 60_8 Yeah. neutral communication behavior 60_10 "Yeah, we share-- ""Okay, oh, a smoker, let's go out and have a smoke together,"" yeah." sustain communication behavior 60_12 Mm-hmm. neutral communication behavior 60_14 I like that piece of jewelry, can I? [laughs] neutral communication behavior 60_16 Right. Right, yeah. You can't have my stash. [laughs] neutral communication behavior 60_18 Um, you know, I guess I'll have to like, you know, get all of my information together. change communication behavior 60_20 Right, do my homework and set up my like to have everything available to me. change communication behavior 60_22 And then maybe set up another appointment with you. change communication behavior 60_24 And maybe I don't know if-if that's like something that you'd be, you know, willing to do with me is to- help me set a date. change communication behavior 60_26 And then you know, the next time I see, see progress, or maybe write-- have like a diary or something, I don't know. change communication behavior 60_28 Oh, really? So they didn't have an exact date, they just decided. neutral communication behavior 60_30 Oh, they didn't realize-- They didn't look at the calendar. neutral communication behavior 60_32 And-and wait, I'm sorry, but— neutral communication behavior 60_34 Oh, yeah. [crosstalk] And you know what I've never done that. neutral communication behavior 60_36 That's coming up in November- neutral communication behavior 60_38 -that's cool I'll have to find out about that. change communication behavior 60_40 "Because it's like people who will start and say, ""I'm going to stop drinking at New Year's Eve. After midnight, I'm not gonna drink.""" neutral communication behavior 60_42 That seems to be like, uh, a false setting up, you know, like, come on. neutral communication behavior 60_44 Really? neutral communication behavior 60_46 Or, like, you know, setting up-- but what is that that they say? Um, you know, like, it's- it's the terminology, you know, with all the anxiety and letting go, you know, like I'm gonna [crosstalk]. neutral communication behavior 60_48 Yeah. Uh-huh, uh-huh. Yeah. neutral communication behavior 60_50 Right, right. neutral communication behavior 60_52 Right. neutral communication behavior 60_54 Yeah, and you know, another thing, uh, uh, you know, it's so so bang, but the weight gain is like— sustain communication behavior 60_56 Uh-huh. neutral communication behavior 60_58 Oh, really? neutral communication behavior 60_60 Oh, that's awesome, to know too. neutral communication behavior 60_62 Right, right. Just like [inaudible 00:04:06] Or your chocolate and all that. neutral communication behavior 60_64 So just switching my addiction. [laughs] neutral communication behavior 60_66 Yeah, God, I don't think I could. sustain communication behavior 60_68 You know, I mean like I said three days was like- sustain communication behavior 60_70 -three years, and all I could think about I was like obsessing about it. sustain communication behavior 60_72 Yeah, yeah. neutral communication behavior 60_74 Yeah. That's true. neutral communication behavior 60_76 Okay. neutral communication behavior 60_78 Yeah. And I mean and that's-that's a reasonable thing- [crosstalk] neutral communication behavior 60_80 -I don't feel like I'm like you know, it's gonna be-- I think gradually getting my- wrapping my brain around it will help, you know, before I just do, you know. change communication behavior 60_82 You know, I always love, um, I've been in other group therapies- neutral communication behavior 60_84 -and the feedback is really nice and the support- neutral communication behavior 60_86 -system is really good. neutral communication behavior 60_88 Yeah. neutral communication behavior 60_90 All right, great. Good. Great. neutral communication behavior 60_92 And thank you for all the information. I appreciate it. neutral communication behavior 60_94 Thank you. neutral communication behavior 61_1 Well, I remember you. Yeah, we met once before. neutral communication behavior 61_3 Yeah. neutral communication behavior 61_5 Well, I went once. neutral communication behavior 61_7 Yeah and, um, it was very-very beautiful to see and the instructor was very nice, but I felt kind of self-conscious because I'm still in my walker. sustain communication behavior 61_9 And I had to sit in the chair. I couldn't, you know, do what they were doing. sustain communication behavior 61_11 So, it's-- it was-- I simply felt self-conscious. sustain communication behavior 61_13 A lot self-conscious. sustain communication behavior 61_15 Yeah. sustain communication behavior 61_17 Well, like Dr. Fields told me, it helps with balance, and I'm still having the wobblies. So, I was really hoping that I could get to the point where I could benefit from what they had to offer. Um, yeah, mostly my balance, mostly my balance. neutral communication behavior 61_19 Not yet. neutral communication behavior 61_21 Yeah. neutral communication behavior 61_23 I wanna go home. change communication behavior 61_25 Yes, I really do. change communication behavior 61_27 [sighs] Everything. I want to be with my little dog. change communication behavior 61_29 He's really so cute, and I miss my garden. neutral communication behavior 61_31 And I just miss being independent, going to sleep when I want to sleep and getting up when I want to get up and-and, uh, cooking for myself. The independence. Sure I miss being independent. change communication behavior 61_33 Yes. change communication behavior 61_35 Yeah. neutral communication behavior 61_37 Well, they told me that I need to be able to walk down the hallway and back, even with the walker, being secure and not with the wobblies. neutral communication behavior 61_39 And I haven't gotten there yet. sustain communication behavior 61_41 Yeah. change communication behavior 61_43 I-I don't want to fall. sustain communication behavior 61_45 I-I've had friends that had that happen. So, um, I-I agree a little, with some hesitation, but I do agree. neutral communication behavior 61_47 Oh, it's better. change communication behavior 61_49 It still hurts. It- it's-- I'm getting better. I'm-I'm getting better. It's not quite as painful. neutral communication behavior 61_51 Yeah, so- neutral communication behavior 61_53 Yes. change communication behavior 61_55 Yeah. neutral communication behavior 61_57 [sighs] Um, yes-yes I-I do because I-- my friend, I think I told you, really, really loves it and I just, I wish I could go back, and yes I do. I'm not making much sense, but I do. change communication behavior 61_59 Oh, I don't really know yet after just one time. neutral communication behavior 61_61 Yeah. It's-it's-- I can't make that-- It wouldn't be fair for me to say it does or doesn't. It didn't that one time, but you know. neutral communication behavior 61_63 Yeah. neutral communication behavior 61_65 Yeah. neutral communication behavior 61_67 Yeah, I do. neutral communication behavior 61_69 Yeah, I would. change communication behavior 61_71 Well, I'd have to make the arrangements again, that was a little complicated, and, um, I'd have to get my head straight about feeling self-conscious, because I-I know that nobody's really looking at me, but I have to convince myself. sustain communication behavior 61_73 Yeah, and the arrangement, arrangements a little complicated. sustain communication behavior 61_75 That I can make the arrangement? neutral communication behavior 61_77 Five. neutral communication behavior 61_79 Yeah. neutral communication behavior 61_81 I-I mean, I know I can, but it's really difficult. sustain communication behavior 61_83 That I'm doing it by myself. change communication behavior 61_85 And I would really fe-- If I could have some sup-- Like if somebody could help me do it. change communication behavior 61_87 My-my daughter can't visit that often and, um- sustain communication behavior 61_89 Yeah. neutral communication behavior 61_91 I would. change communication behavior 61_93 I would. change communication behavior 61_95 Well, she's-- she could, but I'd have to wait at least a week. neutral communication behavior 61_97 I would. change communication behavior 61_99 Yeah, yeah. Is that possible? change communication behavior 61_101 Uh-huh. neutral communication behavior 61_103 That would- that would be good. And then as far as feeling self-confident, I'd have to do that myself. change communication behavior 61_105 Um, I can't think of any. change communication behavior 61_107 That's-that's the main thing- neutral communication behavior 61_109 -the arrangements. neutral communication behavior 61_111 Yes. change communication behavior 61_113 That's-- Yeah. change communication behavior 61_115 That's true. change communication behavior 61_117 You would? neutral communication behavior 61_119 That would really help. change communication behavior 61_121 Okay. neutral communication behavior 61_123 Yeah. Thank you. neutral communication behavior 61_125 Okay. neutral communication behavior 62_1 I'm good, thanks. neutral communication behavior 62_3 Um, I guess everything's fine. I think my caseworker mentioned something about community service that I have to do or something. I don't know. neutral communication behavior 62_5 I'm not sure of that. neutral communication behavior 62_7 Yeah, I know that she said I have to get so many hours in, but I don't- I don't know. I kind of was half-listening. neutral communication behavior 62_9 I know that I have to get it done by the end of my probation, except I forgot like how many hours or if I'm supposed to find it or someone else is gonna find it for me or I-I told you I'm confused. neutral communication behavior 62_12 Yes. neutral communication behavior 62_14 Exactly, yeah. neutral communication behavior 62_16 Yeah, yeah. neutral communication behavior 62_18 Mm-hmm. neutral communication behavior 62_20 Um, yeah, I just, so I still have to find the community service hours myself? neutral communication behavior 62_22 Okay. neutral communication behavior 62_24 Okay. neutral communication behavior 62_26 Okay. neutral communication behavior 62_28 Okay, so I would do that. And then do you know, can I get all the 24 hours in in like a weekend or how does that work? neutral communication behavior 62_30 [unintelligible 00:02:20] neutral communication behavior 62_32 Oh, yeah. neutral communication behavior 62_34 Yeah, I think, just to keep track of it better. neutral communication behavior 62_36 I think it's a good idea. change communication behavior 62_38 Okay. neutral communication behavior 62_40 I think that's it. I think I was just worried about who was gonna do it for me, but I know I have to, I guess, do it myself and that 25 hours has to be done. It seems like that's the time I'd have to get done. change communication behavior 62_42 Okay. neutral communication behavior 62_44 All right, thank you. neutral communication behavior 63_1 Definitely. neutral communication behavior 63_3 Okay. neutral communication behavior 63_5 I do some meth. neutral communication behavior 63_7 Snort it, always snort it. neutral communication behavior 63_9 Mm-mm. neutral communication behavior 63_11 Just, you know, some alcohol. neutral communication behavior 63_13 Meth? neutral communication behavior 63_15 Um, two, three times a month. neutral communication behavior 63_17 Right. neutral communication behavior 63_19 Right. neutral communication behavior 63_21 Yeah, it could be because, uh, I was high when I had unprotected sex and I would not do that if I were not high. change communication behavior 63_23 Definitely, yeah. change communication behavior 63_25 Yeah. change communication behavior 63_27 No, I mean, no. I mean, like I said, I only do it in clubs, you know, with my friends, uh, two or three times a month at-at the most. Um, uh, I don't think it's really having other impacts. But I'm-I'm concerned about this one. I never expected to get gonorrhea. change communication behavior 63_29 I-I understand but it's I think that would be a hard thing for me to do. You know, I mean, I know I should but, I mean, that's like my whole social life. You know, I mean, all my friends go to these clubs. That's where- that's where I see them. You know, that's my sex life basically and, uh, meth is just- it's just a part of it. You know, I mean, everyone is doing it there. You know, so it's while I would like to stop it's-it's kind of hard to think about doing that right away. sustain communication behavior 63_31 Yeah, I don't think it would be easy but I'm not saying that I'm not willing to try. change communication behavior 63_33 Mm-hmm. neutral communication behavior 63_35 Mm. neutral communication behavior 63_37 Uh, three. sustain communication behavior 63_39 I mean, this has been really uncomfortable, you know, gonorrhea is a really bad experience. And, uM, I know I don't think the same, you know, when I'm- when I'm on it. And, uh, I mean, what I have is bad enough, I could easily get AIDS. I could get HIV the same way. So that scares me a lot. That's why it's higher than a one or two. change communication behavior 63_41 Well, I do just snort it but you don't know what it's cut with, you know, there could be something, you know. It could be really bad, um, if it was cut with something dangerous or something. I mean, I-I worry about that sometimes. change communication behavior 63_43 Yeah. change communication behavior 63_45 Something else to do on weekends, you know, different social life. change communication behavior 63_47 It's the hard thing, I mean, almost everybody I know uses it. sustain communication behavior 63_49 My sister. neutral communication behavior 63_51 I haven't really talked to her about it. I think she knows it I do it sometimes. I mean, we're pretty close. I think I could talk to her about it, and I think she would probably help. change communication behavior 63_53 Yes. neutral communication behavior 63_55 Yes. change communication behavior 63_57 Okay. neutral communication behavior 63_59 Yeah, sure. neutral communication behavior 64_1 Thank you. neutral communication behavior 64_3 Yeah, you too. neutral communication behavior 64_5 Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. neutral communication behavior 64_7 Yeah. Yeah. pretty straightforward- neutral communication behavior 64_9 -always good. neutral communication behavior 64_11 No. No, not at all. neutral communication behavior 64_13 Yeah. neutral communication behavior 64_15 "Sure. Um, I guess, you know, maybe two or three weeks ago, I had sort of like this group of friends come around to my place, and um, you know, they-they were sort of saying that it was just like a night to hang out and watch DVDs and stuff, and then they sort of sat me down and were like, ""You know, maybe you need to get a bit of help for, you know, drug stuff."" Then, you know, I was sort of like, ""Well, mm."" And I was quite annoyed by that at first, but I-I suppose, you know, I thought about it for a bit and then I was like, ""Well, I guess it can't hurt to talk to someone about it, maybe.""" change communication behavior 64_17 Yeah. neutral communication behavior 64_19 Yeah. neutral communication behavior 64_21 Yeah. I just sort of did a bit of search on the internet and stuff and just read about this place, so I just thought I'll— change communication behavior 64_23 Yeah, I guess. I-I suppose I hadn't really thought about it till they sat me down, and you know- I mean I could, uh, I could understand a little bit of where they were coming from, so yeah, I thought I'd— change communication behavior 64_25 Yeah. neutral communication behavior 64_27 Yeah. Yeah, which kind of was a bit of a sh-shock, I suppose. change communication behavior 64_29 "Yeah. Yeah, 'cause, you know, I don't know. You know, you see on movies when people sort of intervene or say, ""You know, you need to go and get help."" And then-- I don't know. Like you know those characters and, they-they do need help, you know-" neutral communication behavior 64_31 -because they're fucked. neutral communication behavior 64_33 "And you kind of go, ""Woah. That's not me."" So it's about am I—" change communication behavior 64_35 Yeah, or well, not to that extent, you know what I mean? Like, I-I would-- l didn't think I was at anywhere near a point that I would need to be sat down and intervened with- sustain communication behavior 64_37 -if you know what I mean. neutral communication behavior 64_39 I suppose. neutral communication behavior 64_41 Yeah. neutral communication behavior 64_43 Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, 'cause, I mean, you know, they are my friends and- neutral communication behavior 64_45 "- you know, I'm not gonna be so narrow-minded as to say for sure that, you know, they're entirely wrong 'cause there's a big group of them, you know? And they do care, so obviously, there's something there that I might have overlooked. But on the other hand, I'm sort of like, ""Well, was it that bad?"" And you know, ""Was that- was that really necessary?"" But I, you know, I thought I'd give them the benefit of the doubt and-" change communication behavior 64_47 -and just check it up, yep. change communication behavior 64_49 Yeah, pretty right. neutral communication behavior 64_51 Yeah. neutral communication behavior 64_53 Okay, cool. neutral communication behavior 64_55 Um, dr-drugs, I guess. neutral communication behavior 64_57 Mm, yeah. Sort of kind of do a bit of P now and again- neutral communication behavior 64_59 -and, um, I guess less often, I do a bit of, you know, I smoke a little bit and, um, party pills in the- in the weekend sometimes. neutral communication behavior 64_61 Yeah. neutral communication behavior 64_63 Um, a couple of times a week maybe. neutral communication behavior 64_65 Yeah, yeah. neutral communication behavior 64_67 Mm-hmm, yeah. Yeah. So I guess when I put it that way, it does sound quite a lot, but it doesn't feel a lot, you know? If you know what I mean? change communication behavior 64_69 Right. Um, I suppose it's kind of hand-in-hand with just hanging out with, sort of, some new scene that I've-- Like, um, I moved to Auckland maybe three years ago. neutral communication behavior 64_71 And, um, I still live in Palmy and, so as you can imagine, it's sort of a bit different down there. And, um, kind of just when I first got here I was sorta introduced a little bit to, um, like do you know Family Bar on-on [unintelligible 00:06:49]? neutral communication behavior 64_73 "Yeah. It's that sort of- that sorta scene, that kind of, um, gay scene, I guess. And, like, it's not something I'd really thought about before and-- But then kinda hung out there and just met these people that were sort of like you don't really get there much Palmy. Well, I mean I suppose you do, but they're not-- You know, in Auckland bars like that you can just-- Uh, you can just be it out in the open, you know, and I suppose in Palmy you can't as easily. Um, so just to arrive and see that and kind of meet these people that were just really friendly, you know, and-and not judge me into it. I don't know. You know, Palmy often is they're sort of like, ""Oh, you've gotta own a car, and soap it up, and drive up and down the Main Street,"" and I just couldn't give a shit about that, you know, so. Or play rugby and, you know, that didn't interest me at all and sorta come here and have people, you know, talk about interesting stuff and have a good time. I just want to go out and dance and stuff like that. Um, that was quite cool for me to know that that existed because I hadn't seen that before and-and I suppose there's a lot of that that goes on there, you know?" sustain communication behavior 64_74 "It's quite a heavy party scene most weekends and stuff. So it kind of goes hand in hand with that really, and just, you know, I guess when I have-have a slight-- I don't know, you just feel really good, I guess. Just feel, like, happy, and excited, and just to be surrounded by people that, you know, really care about you, and love you and-- Coming from a place where y-you didn't-- don't get that as much, it's just really cool, you know, to-to be able to go, ""Okay, on this day I can take this."" And it's just that instant, like, ""I know- I know I'll feel good."" I guess that's part of it." sustain communication behavior 64_76 Yeah, in-in a way. Although I wouldn't have been conscious of that really. I just sort of discovered it here. It's not like I came to Auckland looking for that kinda- neutral communication behavior 64_78 -lift to get away from, um, you know parents mainly, and that kind of lifestyle, that Palmy sort of lifestyle. But then yeah, I discovered this other thing, um— neutral communication behavior 64_80 No. neutral communication behavior 64_82 No. I didn't really know. I guess you see sort of things like that in-in movies from America you know, but you don't really- neutral communication behavior 64_84 - think that it would exist in your own country. Well, not if you grew up in Palmy. neutral communication behavior 64_86 Um, I don't mean to be mean about Palmy but, you know, it's just the different kinda attitude, I guess, kinda- this done- neutral communication behavior 64_88 -to that sort of thing. neutral communication behavior 64_90 Yes- neutral communication behavior 64_92 -plus- neutral communication behavior 64_94 Yeah, yeah. I definitely wanted to get away from something. I didn't know what too, but then I arrived here and found this thing that was like actually, this was obviously, fate or whatever was pulling me to this thing- sustain communication behavior 64_96 -'cause-'cause like I found something in myself or something that was missing. sustain communication behavior 64_98 "Um, now, I guess, now, I'm just a little used to it. [clears throat] When I first got here, I was like, ""Wow, this is amazing."" This is hard, I guess, but, you know, it's been three years now, so it's just kinda like I've gotten used to it." neutral communication behavior 64_100 "I mean, I guess, I'm, let's say I take it for granted but, um, yes, it's just comfortable now. And, um, it's just a sort of what I do really. Yeah, so, I guess that the drugs are linked to that, I suppose. It's j-- Well, it's just a part of it, I don't really think-- I didn't really differentiate it. It's just kinda, ""Okay, I'm gonna go hang with my friends,"" and that sort of thing, you know, that Saturday, Friday night thing. And then it just happens really as part of that." neutral communication behavior 64_102 Yep. neutral communication behavior 64_104 Yeah. neutral communication behavior 64_106 Yeah. neutral communication behavior 64_108 Yep. neutral communication behavior 64_110 Well, I guess, now, that I think about it, maybe it's sort of gone beyond that, maybe I didn't notice that. change communication behavior 64_112 I mean like I always-- Well, it's, you know it's kind of a thing that happens in the weekends but, I guess, sometimes in the weekdays. You know, I'll-I'll pretty much every weekend I'll have a big night, um, maybe two but sometimes, you know, in the weekdays like on a Tuesday or Wednesday or something if I just kinda feel like doing something then I might do that sometimes to see if someone else wants to come round and join me or, you know, occasionally by myself I might have a smoke by myself or something like that. And I guess that isn't entirely linked to that scene, I suppose. neutral communication behavior 64_114 Mm. Maybe. I suppose I hadn't really thought about it- neutral communication behavior 64_116 -until recently. neutral communication behavior 64_118 Yeah. I suppose just since that kind of intervention thing or I started to give them the benefit of the doubt. And it's- neutral communication behavior 64_120 -maybe noticing some things that I hadn't noticed but— neutral communication behavior 64_122 Oh, I mean, e-even just now, you know, when you asked me how often. neutral communication behavior 64_124 "Mm. S-surprised me to-to think about, you know, when there's stuff, and you don't really think about it, but then if someone asked you, you know, how often or-- and then you kind of have to quantify it, I suppose it kinda sound shocking, you know, if I- if I imagine myself sort of saying, ""I do this, you know, a few times a week."" It-it-" change communication behavior 64_126 "-sounds shocking. But to me it-it's- it doesn't feel that way, you know, that's kind of where that, where it kind of doesn't sit right. I, [clears throat] that's why I kind of got a bit miffed at my friends a little bit, or I dunno, a bit defensive there. 'Cause you know, it sounds a lot, but it doesn't feel out of control or anything, you know. It doesn't feel, I dunno, people that need to go and see therapists or whatever you kind of go, ""Oh, they're an addict."" You know. They-- Their health is really bad and they need urgent help right now quickly, Uh, well, at least that's kind of the-the feeling you get. And I don't feel that at all. I don't feel like it's a real urgent thing. So that-" sustain communication behavior 64_128 -felt a bit weird. neutral communication behavior 64_130 Yeah. neutral communication behavior 64_132 Yeah. neutral communication behavior 64_134 Definitely. neutral communication behavior 64_136 Yep. Um. Uh, I suppose money is quite a big thing. Like, I used to have a lot more money sorta last year. I had a, quite a good job, like a, quite a regular acting job. change communication behavior 64_138 Um, and it was like quite a lot of money that la-last year. So it wasn't such a problem then. And I suppose I sort of blew that money a little bit. Um, so now I don't have that acting income coming in as frequently and I'm working in a cafe like a sort of part-time and it's not bringing in as much. So now it's kinda like, and sometimes I need to borrow a bit of money or sorta need a bit of help with the rent sometimes. change communication behavior 64_140 Yeah. Yeah. A little bit. neutral communication behavior 64_142 No. But you know, that's the life of an actor, I suppose, ups and downs works and not works. neutral communication behavior 64_144 No. neutral communication behavior 64_146 It's not. neutral communication behavior 64_148 Hmm. Could have been a couple of auditions that I didn't do so well and as I could have 'cause of that. change communication behavior 64_150 "Uh, maybe. Maybe it's just my general sort of state. Um,I dunno, sometimes I suppose just kind of weighs on my mind a little bit like, ""What am I doing or why am I spending my money on this?"" I mean, when it's happening, it's like, this is amazing." neutral communication behavior 64_152 You know am I-- You go in- you go into places, interesting places, but you know, I could just as well have saved that money and actually gone to interesting places I suppose. But I don't know. I wonder if it- if-if it's having an effect. I-I don't know. I can't say for sure, but maybe it's not so good for the face, I dunno. [crosstalk] Dunno if I look tired or-or run down or- change communication behavior 64_154 -or if I actually am tired or run down, I suppose. Again, this is things that I haven't really thought about- change communication behavior 64_156 -but now I'm starting to think about. change communication behavior 64_158 Yeah. neutral communication behavior 64_160 Yeah. neutral communication behavior 64_162 Yeah. neutral communication behavior 64_164 Yeah. Hmm. neutral communication behavior 64_166 Yep. neutral communication behavior 64_168 Yep. neutral communication behavior 64_170 Mm-hmm. neutral communication behavior 64_172 "Uh, I guess it's obviously having some sort of effect on my friends and my flatmates, 'cause, you know, they set me down and said, ""Look you gotta-" change communication behavior 64_174 "-look into this or else we can't hang out anymore.""" change communication behavior 64_176 That would be a problem, yeah. change communication behavior 64_178 If they didn't wanna hang out, well, then what have I got, I suppose? change communication behavior 64_180 "Yeah. Yeah, and I mean part of it, yeah. Part of it I just wonder 'cause, you know, a lot of those friends that set me down are obviously the ones that are not part of that scene. I mean there were a couple there that-that are, but mostly they were the ones that sort of have always sorta been a bit judgy. You know, like when I first started all this stuff, you know. And clearly, there wasn't a problem like-- 'cause I used to be that guy as well you know, like, ""No never do that 'cause it's bad,"" and then you try it the first time and you go, ""Actually, it's not that bad."" It's not the end of the world if you're sensible with it, then it's not gonna be, you know." sustain communication behavior 64_181 You have to take a stupid amount to do any kind of like, or, you know, to die or to end up in a hospital. sustain communication behavior 64_183 "So it's provided you don't-- you're not stupid with it. Then it's just a bit of fun but you can't really explain that to people who are-- have their walls up. So it's hard not to sit in this room full of people kind of going, ""Oh, you know, you really should stop the drugs, they're bad."" It's like, ""Well actually, you don't know what you're talking about.""" neutral communication behavior 64_185 Yep. Yeah, a couple. neutral communication behavior 64_187 Yeah. neutral communication behavior 64_189 Yep. neutral communication behavior 64_191 Yep. neutral communication behavior 64_193 Um, well I suppose the acting thing is a really big concern. change communication behavior 64_195 'Cause I want that to be my job, you know. I'm fucking sick of cafes. change communication behavior 64_197 Yeah. neutral communication behavior 64_199 I'd like it to be, yeah. neutral communication behavior 64_201 Yeah. neutral communication behavior 64_203 Yeah, 'cause I mean it's all you know, it's partly lacking and partly being at the right place at the right time. And if you're at the right place and at the right time and it is not on your game then there could have been a— neutral communication behavior 64_205 Yeah, it could be. change communication behavior 64_207 Yeah, and then I suppose also like money is linked into that as well, you know, I've-- I'm not doing as many courses and stuff as I used to be doing, 'cause it's, you know, don't have the money. change communication behavior 64_209 Well, yeah, I mean, obviously I don't wanna keep pissing my flatmates off. change communication behavior 64_211 You know, and it's not- it's not cool to not pay the rent, obviously. It's not something I'm happy with. change communication behavior 64_213 Yeah. neutral communication behavior 64_215 Yeah, and I don't wanna be that person. change communication behavior 64_217 Yeah. neutral communication behavior 64_219 Yeah. neutral communication behavior 64_221 Yeah. Not-not necessarily P or whatever but yeah most people are doing something. Yeah. I suppose yeah it's kind of part of that scene that there's not a huge like, you know, you go to normal bars and most people are just drunk and wasted and like spewing everywhere and stuff and whereas that's a different scene. Like, people drink but they don't drink to that excess but they take other things and have a good time. And, yeah. sustain communication behavior 64_223 Yeah. I mean there are people that do that. I suppose it-it would be hard. I-I haven't really thought about it, I suppose. That's all it is, all I've known that scene to be, you know, 'cause I'm quite new to it, you know- neutral communication behavior 64_225 -so from the beginning it was always there. neutral communication behavior 64_227 Yeah. neutral communication behavior 64_229 Oh yeah, well, they must be. I can't imagine everyone is there, I guess just the ma-majority or at least p-- the majority of people that I know, yeah. neutral communication behavior 64_231 Yeah. neutral communication behavior 64_233 Yeah. neutral communication behavior 64_235 Yep. Yeah. neutral communication behavior 64_237 Yep. neutral communication behavior 64_239 Mm-hmm. neutral communication behavior 64_241 Well, [coughs] I must say I was a bit, um, you know, at the start when I was sort of saying I, you know, this is how often I do it and then I found myself talking about the kind of the weekday stuff I kinda took myself back a bit there. I suppose, you know, on a Wednesday by yourself like it doesn't sound that good. change communication behavior 64_243 Yeah. neutral communication behavior 64_245 Yeah. neutral communication behavior 64_247 Mm. neutral communication behavior 64_249 Yeah. Yeah, but I think you're right about, just something to look forward to, because it's that midweek slump, you know. So far away till people will be in their place where they can- neutral communication behavior 64_251 -hang out and have a good time. neutral communication behavior 64_253 Yeah. neutral communication behavior 64_255 Yeah. neutral communication behavior 64_257 Yeah. neutral communication behavior 64_259 Yeah. neutral communication behavior 64_261 Yeah. Yep. neutral communication behavior 65_0 Many people have told me, um, if I quit smoking, I'm going to gain weight. neutral communication behavior 65_2 Well, food really doesn't taste good, but they say it tastes much better- neutral communication behavior 65_4 -if you quit smoking. neutral communication behavior 65_6 Now the downside to that is I'm gonna gain weight. sustain communication behavior 65_8 That means a new wardrobe, which I'd like to have, but I can't afford it. sustain communication behavior 65_10 Mm-hmm. neutral communication behavior 65_12 Right. neutral communication behavior 65_14 Mm-hmm. neutral communication behavior 65_16 Um, withdrawal. sustain communication behavior 65_18 They say it's awful. Um, being cranky. sustain communication behavior 65_20 And if I do go through this, I just hope my friends understand and will support me in what I'm trying to do. neutral communication behavior 65_22 Mm-hmm. neutral communication behavior 65_24 Um, I think everything's on the bad side about smoking, but, um, I've just smoked so long. I-I just can't imagine- sustain communication behavior 65_26 -not- going through life without smoking. sustain communication behavior 65_28 I know I've got to stop. Uh, I'm having no health problems from cigarettes- change communication behavior 65_30 -at present, but when the doctor told me this morning what could be waiting for me in the future- change communication behavior 65_32 -that made me rethink- neutral communication behavior 65_34 -everything. neutral communication behavior 66_1 Hey. neutral communication behavior 66_3 Pleasure to meet you. neutral communication behavior 66_5 Yeah. I'm supposed to learn how to manage it. I just learned that I got diabetes and apparently, it's pretty bad 'cause, uh, she said my blood sugar was sky high, and then she laid all these huge consequences on things that can happen. That just sounds so disastrous and, uh, and then she told me I gotta do all this stuff. And man, I'm just sort of disappointed right now. change communication behavior 66_7 She mentioned my legs having troubles and- change communication behavior 66_9 Well, that's, yeah. It's not just being scared, you know. I don't want that to happen to me, but then when I, when-when she reels off all these things I gotta do and I'm sort of going oh, oh, you know, I'm not certain I can even get it done. So it's sort of sitting-- well, you know, I'm sitting here thinking that, oh my God, this is- this is what's gonna happen to me. sustain communication behavior 66_11 And it is discouraging, just like discouraging. sustain communication behavior 66_13 Yeah. It looks like a massive task that I'm may not be able to handle. And then, yeah, all this horrible stuff happens to me. I mean, it's- it's a bleak-looking situation and a lot worse. sustain communication behavior 66_16 Well, I don't think too much trouble in taking the medicines, especially since I understand my blood sugar is really high. and- change communication behavior 66_18 Yeah, I'm pretty- I'm pretty good at taking drugs. change communication behavior 66_20 Yeah. I think I could probably do that. change communication behavior 66_22 Well, she also mentioned monitoring my blood sugar and all this. And that just seemed like a lot of mumbo jambo to me. sustain communication behavior 66_24 Oh, okay. neutral communication behavior 66_26 Well, I like it that I, you know, that-that we can do it at a step at a time. I mean, that's-- that relieves some pressure. change communication behavior 66_28 And being able to talk with you and do this as we go along rather than-- I-I wasn't certain I could just, wham, put this huge program in[chuckles] into effect. Uh, but doing a step at a time and I, you know, that-- getting on the medicine, I don't think that's any big problem. That I can do I am pretty sure. change communication behavior 66_30 Yeah. I think I could do that. Uh, as long as there's no big-time side effects, but, uh- change communication behavior 67_1 Mm-hmm. neutral communication behavior 67_3 Something like that. neutral communication behavior 67_5 Uh, I vape. I have a pen, but I don't smoke it though. neutral communication behavior 67_7 Um, a few times a month. neutral communication behavior 67_9 I did a peppermint oil once, someone shared it with me. neutral communication behavior 67_11 Mm-hmm. neutral communication behavior 67_13 Well, I don't think it's going to hurt me. neutral communication behavior 67_15 Um, I don't know. It makes me relax, and it's fun to laugh with my friend. neutral communication behavior 67_17 Well, I don't want to get in trouble like at school. neutral communication behavior 67_19 Well, I can get suspended and I would get kicked off the team, the basketball team. neutral communication behavior 67_21 Right. neutral communication behavior 67_23 well, I was thinking to not use when basketball season start. neutral communication behavior 67_25 Well, I play better when I'm not high. neutral communication behavior 67_27 Well, I wouldn't get caught with using a pen, so I wouldn't get kicked off the basketball team. change communication behavior 67_29 For about a month. change communication behavior 67_31 Um, seven. change communication behavior 67_33 Well, I'm pretty sure, um, I can stop using for a month. I want to play well. change communication behavior 67_35 Uh, I don't know. neutral communication behavior 67_37 Well, if I'm stressed or unhappy, that's when I usually wanna vape. change communication behavior 67_39 Hmm, I like to play video games. change communication behavior 67_41 I can play basketball with my friend Sarah. change communication behavior 67_43 Yeah. change communication behavior 67_45 Mm-hmm. change communication behavior 68_1 Hi. Thank you. neutral communication behavior 68_3 Okay. neutral communication behavior 68_5 Okay. neutral communication behavior 68_7 Yeah. neutral communication behavior 68_9 Sure. Um, as you know, I'm Andrea, I, uh, I'm a junior I'm in the marching band. I play the tenor sax. neutral communication behavior 68_11 Yeah, I'm also in the-- I'm a bit of a band geek. [laughter] I play, you know, in the wind ensemble and the jazz band, things like that. neutral communication behavior 68_13 Yeah, [crosstalk]. neutral communication behavior 68_15 Oh, I started playing about 10 years ago, actually. neutral communication behavior 68_17 Yeah, I started on the violin first, and then I went on, explored a little with the piano, clarinet, finally found the tenor sax, and yeah. neutral communication behavior 68_19 Um, you know, just hanging out with my friends or go to the beach, things like that. neutral communication behavior 68_21 Yeah. neutral communication behavior 68_23 Yeah [laughs]. neutral communication behavior 68_25 Uh, well I have one older brother he's about eight and a half old- years older than me. My parents, and I have a dog [laughs]. neutral communication behavior 68_27 He's a Golden Retriever. neutral communication behavior 68_29 My big boy. neutral communication behavior 68_31 They're pretty good. Grades have been pretty all right. Still like 3.7 ish. neutral communication behavior 68_33 Uh, I'd like to, you know, I'd like to, of course, graduate high school, hopefully, go to a nice Ivy League school. change communication behavior 68_35 But I mean, that might not happen. And then I'd like to go on and become a doctor. Study psychology and then become a psychiatrist or something. change communication behavior 68_37 Yeah. neutral communication behavior 68_39 Yeah. neutral communication behavior 68_41 Mm-hmm. neutral communication behavior 68_43 Um, I think a sense of community and belonging. neutral communication behavior 68_45 I think those two and, um, respect. neutral communication behavior 68_47 Yeah. Well, I think community and belonging, I kind of related them. Um, you know how I said I was in the marching band? neutral communication behavior 68_49 I really, you know, I really enjoy being in that team setting of, you know, being with other people and all working toward- together towards that one goal. neutral communication behavior 68_51 And then in terms of respect, I-I kind of view that as one of like my major like rules. Like, I-I really do think respect is important, to respect myself and respect those around me, so. neutral communication behavior 68_53 I place great importance in that. neutral communication behavior 68_55 Mm-hmm. neutral communication behavior 68_57 Yes, purpose. neutral communication behavior 68_59 Yes. neutral communication behavior 68_61 Definitely, that's right. neutral communication behavior 68_63 Um, sometimes we just, you know, go to the movies, go to the beach, like I had said, or sometimes we just get together at someone's house, play some good board games and hang out. neutral communication behavior 68_65 Yeah, sometimes. neutral communication behavior 68_67 Uh, well it's mostly just for, for parties or party settings is kind of to get things going and get everything loosened up as they say. neutral communication behavior 68_69 Yeah. neutral communication behavior 68_71 I'd say, um, on a not busy month, for instance, I'd say about like two weekends out of the month. Two or three. neutral communication behavior 68_73 The days that we drink are mostly, like I said, they're parties, so it's more of that whole partying and dancing and, you know, having everyone have fun. And then when we don't, it's a lot more relaxed. It's a lot more hanging out, playing board games, watching a movie it's not yeah. neutral communication behavior 68_75 Definitely. neutral communication behavior 68_77 Um, I think of them as-as different, I think, you know, like in playing board games and things, it's meant to be relaxing. neutral communication behavior 68_79 So it's nice to have like that kind of breather- neutral communication behavior 68_81 -versus with a party it's a lot more energetic it's, uh, after it all, it's very draining. change communication behavior 68_83 But in the moment it's quite fun to dance and have fun. sustain communication behavior 68_85 Yeah. neutral communication behavior 68_87 Um, it's, you know, when we drink, we-we tend to have more fun because I guess we're not, you know, everyone's drinking together. We're a lot more loosened up and relaxed- sustain communication behavior 68_89 -and not really thinking about stresses or things like that, but it can be--When it's too much drinking, it can be- can be obviously bad. change communication behavior 68_91 Um, a lot of times, it'll make- it'll make people stupid. [laughs] Yeah, you know, people make dumb decisions and things like that. We-we usually try to be as safe about it change communication behavior 68_93 -as possible. So we'll like sleep over at a friend's house. And so that, you know, we're not driving and it's mostly within our friend group. So we're not worried about strangers putting weird things in our drinks. neutral communication behavior 68_95 But, um, definitely some of the ideas people can have when they're stup- when they're drunk and can be really stupid. change communication behavior 68_97 Yeah neutral communication behavior 68_99 Sometimes. Yeah. neutral communication behavior 68_101 Well, I, especially don't like it whenever me or one of my friends, like we drink too much and we end up like throwing up or things like that, that I don't- that's not fun. change communication behavior 68_103 It's not. change communication behavior 68_105 For me, that's happened to me once. It was the first time I ever drunk and it was- it was a lot, I didn't know what I was doing. I was mixing all kinds of weird things and just kind of taking anything everyone- anyone gave me change communication behavior 68_107 -and that didn't end well. change communication behavior 68_109 But after that, I haven't- but I do have friends that still do sometimes, so I'll end up like having to take care of them or something and- change communication behavior 68_111 It kind of puts a downer on my- on my fun. change communication behavior 68_113 Yeah. neutral communication behavior 68_115 Yeah. People can get a little like sloppy, I guess. Like they're all loose, like with people in corners doing things that should be done in private- change communication behavior 68_117 -and that kind of stuff. neutral communication behavior 68_119 Yeah. neutral communication behavior 68_121 I just- I've, you know, I have an aunt who is an alcoholic. So I-I see like the issues that are involved and I've seen movies and things I know that drunk driving is an issue- change communication behavior 68_123 So, I, you know, I wanna be as safe as possible in those terms and be in a setting where like we can let loose but still be safe like in someone's house or sort of my parents will tell me something. But-- So, I- like I know that there are dangers involved and I guess I wanna limit that. change communication behavior 68_125 And so be where I have fun. neutral communication behavior 68_127 Yeah. neutral communication behavior 68_129 Mm-hmm. neutral communication behavior 68_131 Then it kind of defeats the purpose? [laughs] change communication behavior 68_133 Yeah. neutral communication behavior 68_135 In terms of what? In terms of respect? neutral communication behavior 68_137 I think, well in a way, I do think that drinking is probably a form of disrespect to my own body because I'm not putting things- I'm putting things in it that shouldn't be there. change communication behavior 68_139 And then-- But in terms of at- how it is I am respecting myself, I am- I'm respecting myself by like trying to stay in someone's house and like trying to limit my drinking so I don't get to that blackout like throwing up and everything. sustain communication behavior 68_141 And try to, you know, let loose but still be in control of my behavior so I'm not gonna go somewhere with a person I met- neutral communication behavior 68_143 -into I don't know where to, I don't know what, and- neutral communication behavior 68_145 -things like that. neutral communication behavior 68_147 Yeah. neutral communication behavior 68_150 "I usually-- Well, I start off like I make sure that I make my own drink so I know what's in it and how much is in it. So in that way I control how much I drink. So, I usually just, you know, get one of those cups and then make one drink. And then I'll try to make it last as long as possible. And I'll be like, ""All right, this is my one drink"" and I'm good in that way. I still have something in my cup so people aren't gonna be like, ""Oh, here. Have some more."" I'd be like, ""No, I'm good. I have mine,"" and I'll still be, you know, having some to like let loose a little." neutral communication behavior 68_152 "For the most part, it works pretty well because, like I said, people, you know, people come asking me, trying to pressure me, I'll be like, ""No, I'm good. I have- You know, I still have something. I'll get some later."" And I never end up getting anything. Oh, but sometimes they'll be like, ""Hey, let's take a shot,"" and everyone's gathered around like the kitchen or something ready to take a shot. And then at that point, I'll be like, ""Oh, well, maybe I can take one more."" And that's when I start, you know, falling into-" change communication behavior 68_154 -way too much. change communication behavior 68_156 Yeah. neutral communication behavior 68_158 Mm-hmm. neutral communication behavior 68_160 Um, I'd like to make sure that I'd, you know, in terms of respecting myself and my body, I'd like to, you know, try to drink less. change communication behavior 68_162 Like I-I-- You know, it is nice to let loose and have fun, but I'd also like it to be so, you know, I'm not damaging my body, you know. change communication behavior 68_164 Like my liver doesn't work by the time I'm like 22. change communication behavior 68_166 And, um, you know, have my friends on board with a similar mentality so we can kind of work at it together as a group, as a- as a community. change communication behavior 68_168 Yeah. neutral communication behavior 68_170 I'd say about like-like a six or a seven. neutral communication behavior 68_172 I'd like to work on it but, you know, if I get around to it, I get around to it. If I don't, I don't. neutral communication behavior 68_174 Um, because I still think it's-it's important. change communication behavior 68_176 I still, you know. Like I said, I don't want to hurt my body. Especially going to med school like I know how things affect your body and also affect your-your social and your school work and things like. I know that once I get to college, it's not- it's not gonna-gonna work out being, you know, drinking every weekend and then like trying to wake up early and go to school, take an exam. Like I know that's not- that's not feasible. It's not a good idea. change communication behavior 68_178 Yeah. neutral communication behavior 68_180 I think I- neutral communication behavior 68_182 I think if I made the decision that I was going to, for sure, then I think definitely like a 10 I know it'd be going through. neutral communication behavior 68_184 It's just because I know that once I make the decision, I know I can do it. It's making the decision in the first place. change communication behavior 68_186 Um, I'm thinking of maybe like trying to convince my friends without sounding, you know, dorky or something and be like, hey, you know, let's just stay in today. Like, let's not go out or something. Or just be like, hey, I'm not like-- I'm not going to drink today. And then even if my friends do, like being okay with them, drinking around me and not doing it, and then them being okay with me drinking-- Me not drinking and them doing whatever they want. change communication behavior 68_188 Yeah. neutral communication behavior 68_190 Yeah. neutral communication behavior 68_192 I think so. I think it's-it's very feasible. I think it's possible. change communication behavior 68_194 I think so. I think that's good. change communication behavior 68_196 Yeah. neutral communication behavior 68_200 Yeah, I'd like to. change communication behavior 68_202 Perfect. Nice. neutral communication behavior 70_1 Yeah, I do, just a couple of minutes though. neutral communication behavior 70_3 Um, nothing specific. I just am unfamiliar with the medication. neutral communication behavior 70_5 Okay. Uh, what about side effects? neutral communication behavior 70_7 Um, what about does it interact with phenelzine? neutral communication behavior 70_9 Oh, sure. neutral communication behavior 70_11 Thank you. neutral communication behavior 71_1 Yeah. neutral communication behavior 71_3 Yeah, yeah. neutral communication behavior 71_5 Yeah, it'd be good. neutral communication behavior 71_7 I guess it doesn't. change communication behavior 71_9 Uh, I guess I have to keep coming-coming back here and go into court and stuff. change communication behavior 71_11 Yeah. It kinda messes things up. change communication behavior 71_13 Yeah. It makes it harder. change communication behavior 71_15 Mm. neutral communication behavior 71_17 Like it's hard to get a job 'cause you have to say that you've done prison time and stuff, so it's pretty hard. change communication behavior 71_19 Yeah. neutral communication behavior 71_21 Mm. neutral communication behavior 71_23 Uh, I don't know if-if I would go into polytech, done courses there or something. change communication behavior 71_25 Yeah. Like, if they've got jobs now. change communication behavior 71_27 Yeah. neutral communication behavior 71_29 Yeah, yeah. neutral communication behavior 71_31 Yeah. neutral communication behavior 71_33 Just learn more about cars and just, kind of, hands-on job. neutral communication behavior 71_35 [sighs] Mechanic, or panel [unintelligible 00:18:02], or just-- I wouldn't care, I just-- as long as it's cars. change communication behavior 71_37 Yes, pretty much. neutral communication behavior 71_39 Yeah. neutral communication behavior 71_41 Just I have to get that training, I guess, and then probably get a job. change communication behavior 71_43 Yeah. neutral communication behavior 71_45 Like, sort of, um, just at the polytech. I don't know what exactly it was, but— neutral communication behavior 71_47 It took them like-- And, it took them like a year or something, and then they went into apprenticeship. neutral communication behavior 71_49 Yeah. neutral communication behavior 71_51 Yeah. I could do it pretty easy. It's just, like, I probably know all this stuff already. change communication behavior 71_53 Like, well, I went out and picked some forms and stuff, but it's real confusing, like, having to apply, so I-I just couldn't-- I don't know. I couldn't do it. neutral communication behavior 71_55 Yeah, yeah. neutral communication behavior 71_57 Yeah, yeah. Passed around and everything. neutral communication behavior 71_59 Yeah. neutral communication behavior 71_61 Yeah, but I just-- Like, they wouldn't help me out, so- neutral communication behavior 71_63 -I got some forms and- neutral communication behavior 71_65 I asked- I asked them what I had to do, and they said I had to fill out some forms, but- neutral communication behavior 71_67 -well, the forms, it's too confusing. neutral communication behavior 71_69 Yeah, yeah. Well, I got one- I got one for panel [unintelligible 00:19:33], and one for, uh, uh, like, panel and paint- neutral communication behavior 71_71 -so, learning how to paint cars and stuff. neutral communication behavior 71_73 Yeah. neutral communication behavior 71_75 Yeah. I was gonna fill them out there, but then I didn't get them, so I took them home, but I was gonna get Donna to help me, but I just didn't get around to it. neutral communication behavior 71_77 Yeah. neutral communication behavior 71_79 I didn't understand, like, what you're supposed to write down. Like, yeah. I'm not good at this, maybe too confusing. neutral communication behavior 71_81 I don't really deal with it. I s-- I don't really like writing. neutral communication behavior 71_83 No. neutral communication behavior 71_85 No, I'm just real messy, so people can't read it. neutral communication behavior 71_87 [chuckles] Yeah, no. It's what they say, yeah. neutral communication behavior 71_89 Yeah, I am. [chuckles] neutral communication behavior 71_91 Yeah. neutral communication behavior 71_93 Yeah. Like, a computer or something. If you could write on a computer, I could do that. neutral communication behavior 71_95 But, we don't have a computer. neutral communication behavior 71_97 Just ask to get someone else to do it I guess. I guess I could ask Donna, but it's been embarrassing. neutral communication behavior 71_99 Yeah. neutral communication behavior 71_101 Well, I don't know if it's that serious, it's just- neutral communication behavior 71_103 -I'm sure most people can fill them out. I don't know, I just don't get it. neutral communication behavior 71_105 No one. I guess you. You could do it. Would you do it? neutral communication behavior 71_107 No. neutral communication behavior 71_109 Yeah. neutral communication behavior 71_111 Yeah. neutral communication behavior 71_113 Mm. neutral communication behavior 71_115 I guess, I'd go pick them up and I don't know, I guess I could ask Donna, but she'd probably help me, I don't really want to. neutral communication behavior 71_117 Well, I don't know. Plus, well, I don't know if I could bother getting up at nine o'clock every morning and having to go to Polytec. I've got used to sleeping in. sustain communication behavior 71_119 At night. neutral communication behavior 71_121 Yeah. neutral communication behavior 71_123 Yeah. Uh, it would be cool if it's anything like school. Like, I didn't really enjoy school. [unintelligible 00:22:56] so writing and stuff, and I wouldn't wanna do that. If it's all hands-on though, it would be all good. sustain communication behavior 71_125 Yeah. No, it does get in the way. I just don't wanna do it. neutral communication behavior 71_127 It's a waste of time. sustain communication behavior 71_129 Yeah. neutral communication behavior 71_131 For what? neutral communication behavior 71_133 Of what? Well, I don't get it. neutral communication behavior 71_135 Yeah. I can't. neutral communication behavior 71_137 Oh, it's pretty [unintelligible 00:23:47], but, like, still-- I don't know, I'm not retarded, or anything. I can write and read. neutral communication behavior 71_139 Yeah. neutral communication behavior 71_141 Like-- neutral communication behavior 71_143 Yeah. neutral communication behavior 71_145 Yeah. neutral communication behavior 71_147 No, not really. Yeah, I don't really enjoy it. neutral communication behavior 71_149 Yeah. neutral communication behavior 71_151 I don't know. Hopefully, not many-- not much, but that's what I wanna find out, I guess. neutral communication behavior 71_153 It'd make everything easier. change communication behavior 71_155 Like-- I don't really like reading books or anything, so I don't really care about that but just, say, real-life stuff like going to the bank, and stuff like that- neutral communication behavior 71_157 -yeah, that have filling out forms. neutral communication behavior 71_159 Yeah. neutral communication behavior 71_161 Yeah. neutral communication behavior 71_163 Yeah, I didn't think about that. neutral communication behavior 71_165 Yeah, that'd suck if you had to read, like, a big manual or something. Hmm. neutral communication behavior 71_167 Mm. neutral communication behavior 73_0 He, um, introduced me to it too, so I've tried it. neutral communication behavior 73_2 Oxy. neutral communication behavior 73_4 Yeah. neutral communication behavior 73_6 Well, yeah he said it was a pain- a pain medicine. neutral communication behavior 73_8 Mm-hmm. neutral communication behavior 73_10 And it has, but I don't do it as often, it's just sometimes. neutral communication behavior 73_12 Dealing with my grandma's loss. sustain communication behavior 73_14 Yeah. I feel alone, and I just, I miss her and, it does- it does help but,- sustain communication behavior 73_16 -I don't wanna have to rely on having to take that. change communication behavior 73_18 Mm-hmm. Yeah, and— neutral communication behavior 73_20 Right. change communication behavior 73_22 Yeah, it is. neutral communication behavior 73_24 Yeah, well, I don't really know too much about it, other than it makes me feel good. sustain communication behavior 76_0 Hi. neutral communication behavior 76_2 Good, I'm doing really good. neutral communication behavior 76_4 Yeah, I really like doing this, and, um, I-I rated health as my first- neutral communication behavior 76_6 -uh, value. Yeah, because I really value physical and mental health, um, spiritual, emotional. Everything as a whole package, I guess, health. Um, and I'm working on, um, a certification to become a fitness trainer. Cal State [inaudible 00:00:40] there's a like extension program. I've been doing that for the last five weeks. I have a final exam coming up, like, Saturday. A little tense about it, I guess, but, um, I'm looking forward to, like, doing it, and I gotta wait for my results. Then, I got into an internship. neutral communication behavior 76_8 Um, but it's kind of exciting, a different career path in my life. Being an office worker for so long is getting boring too-- physical activity, health, in that respect. neutral communication behavior 76_10 Yeah, I like being active. You know, if I could, um, be more adept to tennis, and I would love to do something like that coaching people how to play tennis, but I don't. I know enough about the game and play it, but I-I don't think my skill level would be high enough to actually coach other people but— neutral communication behavior 76_12 Yes, I have. neutral communication behavior 76_14 It's been in the top. It's been up there, yeah. I don't remember if it's always been number one. It's probably definitely been in the top three. Uh, yeah, because I've had problems, um, with inner harmony, I guess in different stages in my life, so I don't get that. This time I put it at number two. neutral communication behavior 76_16 Yeah, it's just funny how it came out that it wasn't in the top 12. But then when I look at it again it had something to do with, um, peace, uh, inner peace or something or something in there. neutral communication behavior 76_18 And, um, I put that as a higher priority, or top of my value list. neutral communication behavior 76_20 Yeah. Um, since I've been practicing yoga, and since I learned how to teach yoga, that's been something that I've been, um, coming to terms with more, that I feel like I have a lot more inner harmony. I'm more at peace with myself, and in-in the quiet times, and if I'm meditating. change communication behavior 76_22 Um, I really feel like-- yeah, I feel like really good about myself. neutral communication behavior 76_24 "Yeah, that's part of it. Yeah, and then just feeling like, um, I don't have to please other people either. It's not a selfish thing to put myself first. And, uh, that's something I've always tried to do, make other people happy, please other people, and-and also put myself second, third, fourth, or whatever it is. And I always thought, ""Well, that's the way a good person should be.They should always put other people first, you know. And then there's times for that, you know. There's something going on, and you wanna go out of your way to help people, and you say, ""Well, my needs aren't so important right now."" I think that is okay to do once in a while. As long as you know- you know that you're not really, um, doing anything detrimental to yourself while you're doing it. And you realize, ""Well, I'm just-- I'm really helping this other person a lot, and it gives me satisfaction.""" neutral communication behavior 76_26 "Not out of a sense of, uh, you know, ""I'm obligated to this person.""" neutral communication behavior 76_28 Mm-hmm. neutral communication behavior 76_30 Self love. neutral communication behavior 77_1 [signs] Kind of slow. neutral communication behavior 77_3 Yeah. neutral communication behavior 77_5 Oh, they have me doing all kinds of things in different machines and stuff. Yeah, it hurts. neutral communication behavior 77_7 Well, just about every joint like especially my knees. They're really-- They have me doing some leg things that-that-that is it really necessary? neutral communication behavior 77_9 Okay. neutral communication behavior 77_11 I wanna go home. neutral communication behavior 77_13 Everything. I wanna- I wanna, play with my dog. I miss my dog. I wanna cook for myself. I'm a very independent person and I wanna do things for myself. neutral communication behavior 77_15 Um, I guess the rehab. neutral communication behavior 77_17 Not really. neutral communication behavior 77_19 Oh, yeah. neutral communication behavior 77_21 Uh, I have. neutral communication behavior 77_23 I have a friend who, uh, does it and she just raves about it. She loves it. neutral communication behavior 77_25 Absolutely. I do not want to fall, for sure. change communication behavior 77_27 Well, I-I hadn't really thought about it, but yeah I guess, I guess. neutral communication behavior 77_29 Like I said, my friend talks about it and-and it's very pretty. I've seen pictures, you know. neutral communication behavior 77_31 Well, I don't see how I could do it. I-I'm still in a walker, you know. sustain communication behavior 77_33 I could? neutral communication behavior 77_35 And you really recommend this? neutral communication behavior 77_37 You do Tai Chi? neutral communication behavior 77_39 Oh, okay. Well, yeah. Um, listen, anything that's going to get me home and if you do it and you recommend it, I'll try it. change communication behavior 77_41 Okay, okay. neutral communication behavior 78_1 Mm-hmm. Yeah. neutral communication behavior 78_3 Mm-hmm. neutral communication behavior 78_5 It's been- it's been really difficult. Um, I hate to see her gasping for breath. And, um, I'm really worried, you know, when she has to go. Uh, so that's been-- it's really difficult when I have to take her. change communication behavior 78_7 Mm-hmm. Yeah. change communication behavior 78_9 Mm-hmm. neutral communication behavior 78_11 Well, I did research on the chronic inhaler and I found out that there were steroids in it and that-that I don't want her taking steroids. I did, uh, research on some of the potential side effects and some of the health problems that can result from taking steroids and I-I just don't want her to take those at all. I don't want her exposed to them at all. And then, uh, let me just go ahead and lay this out right now. Uh, because I'm sure it'll come up, but I-I do smoke. But I make sure that I do not smoke around her so that I make sure that it does not affect her. So- sustain communication behavior 78_13 -I just want to let you know that right off. neutral communication behavior 78_15 Mm-hmm. Yeah. neutral communication behavior 78_17 Yeah. neutral communication behavior 78_19 Okay. neutral communication behavior 78_21 Mm-hmm. neutral communication behavior 78_23 Well, I-I guess I didn't realize that they weren't the same thing as the anabolic steroids. neutral communication behavior 78_25 Which are the ones that cause all the problems and everything. So, um, if-if you can assure me that it's not going to have those same side effects and health problems- change communication behavior 78_27 Yeah. neutral communication behavior 78_29 Okay. neutral communication behavior 78_31 Yeah. neutral communication behavior 78_33 Oh, okay. neutral communication behavior 78_35 Mm-hmm. neutral communication behavior 78_37 Yeah. neutral communication behavior 78_39 Oh, even when it's just on my clothes? neutral communication behavior 78_41 She's that sensitive. If I realized that— neutral communication behavior 78_43 Right. Um, so would it help, um-- You know, the thought of quitting smoking is a pretty daunting aspect. sustain communication behavior 78_45 I mean, I know people who've tried to quit and it's-it's just it's- it's really difficult, you know. So I know, it'd be better— sustain communication behavior 78_47 Yeah. neutral communication behavior 78_49 Yeah, it is. Um. sustain communication behavior 78_51 Well, I was thinking, um, if since it, you know, it affects her that it's on my clothes, if I only smoked while she was at school, and then changed my clothes before she came home. Would that help? change communication behavior 78_53 Oh, absolutely. I never. Never. change communication behavior 78_55 Okay. neutral communication behavior 78_57 Yeah. [chuckles] neutral communication behavior 78_59 It's really difficult. sustain communication behavior 78_61 Mm-hmm. change communication behavior 78_63 Oh, really? neutral communication behavior 78_65 Oh, that's great- change communication behavior 78_67 -because that's always scary when she has to use that one. change communication behavior 78_69 Okay. neutral communication behavior 78_71 Okay. change communication behavior 78_73 That sounds good. Thank you. change communication behavior 79_0 Something clicked, I'd had a bunch to drink and, uh, and I knew I'd messed up. I totally messed up. neutral communication behavior 79_2 Because I was- because I was right there, man. I was right there in the same place when I'd come home and I'd pop a couple of those pills, it was the same deal, like and I wanted to stay there. I wanted to stay exactly right there. And I just felt like I'd ruined everything. You know, Erin's using the phone now, and he called me the next day and it was, uh, great, but I kinda felt ashamed of myself, and I don't want to feel that way again. change communication behavior 79_4 Because of what-- Yeah, I guess, I think that's what I mean, yeah, yeah. Because you know, I mean- I mean I could have stayed, I could have got, I could have got absolutely hammered and I could have done it every night for the rest of the week. change communication behavior 79_6 But I don't know if I stopped because I knew I had to stop or because, you know, it was like right there, that's where I wanted to stay, you know? Anyway, I just, uh-- [crosstalk]. change communication behavior 79_8 They're better, yeah. change communication behavior 79_10 Yeah, yeah. change communication behavior 80_1 Hello, doctor. neutral communication behavior 80_3 Well, I did what we discussed. I did the journal- change communication behavior 80_5 -for a week, uh, trying to mark down the-the difference in my smoking, being more aware when I had the urge, if I could stop the urge- change communication behavior 80_7 -and I found it was okay. It got a little bit scary on the weekend because, uh, uh, the urge has kept on coming- change communication behavior 80_9 -to have a cigarette. neutral communication behavior 80_11 But during the week, I was able to cut down at least two or three cigarettes a week, and that's just in one week. So- change communication behavior 80_13 Yeah. change communication behavior 80_15 Yes. change communication behavior 80_17 It just seemed to get worse when it was the weekend- neutral communication behavior 80_19 -and I was going out with friends and I was home a lot of the day- neutral communication behavior 80_21 -instead of at work. And I found that, um, it was really hard to stop those urges. neutral communication behavior 80_23 Yes. neutral communication behavior 80_25 But I marked it in the book. Uh, that's one thing I said to myself, I'll be honest in my marking down. change communication behavior 80_27 So, I'm gonna have to really be aware of the weekends. Maybe get some kind of hobby or-or join some group or something on the weekends to keep me busy. change communication behavior 80_29 If I can just postpone it- change communication behavior 80_31 "-and-and say, ""Okay, I'm not gonna have it at home-" change communication behavior 80_33 "-I'll have it when I get to work or on the way to work.""" change communication behavior 80_35 'Cause I-I-I- neutral communication behavior 80_37 And then, uh-uh, what I'd like to do is try not to smoke in my house. change communication behavior 80_39 I think I'd just like to do what I did this first week. I liked the idea of marking it down. change communication behavior 80_41 I-- And it took me a week and I'm down two cigarettes a day, I-I figure. change communication behavior 80_43 What I'd like to do is maybe go down to five cigarettes, in other words, another three a day. change communication behavior 80_45 And, um, 'cause I smoke a large pack and small pack, maybe just two small packs. change communication behavior 80_47 Yes. change communication behavior 80_49 I can try each day to count. change communication behavior 80_51 And I'm still gonna try that when I get the urge to let it go, fight it, and maybe not go out for a cigarette until the next urge comes. change communication behavior 80_53 So, if I [unintelligible 00:02:59] between two of them- change communication behavior 80_55 -and also coming back and-and talking to you really helps 'cause I have someone to- change communication behavior 80_57 -discuss it with. change communication behavior 80_59 I wouldn't mind coming back in a week again because this is all new and-and a week, I can handle a week. change communication behavior 80_61 Okay, thank you doctor. neutral communication behavior 80_63 Yes, thank you. neutral communication behavior 81_3 Okay. I guess I've been getting bigger. neutral communication behavior 81_5 Uh, scary I guess. sustain communication behavior 81_7 Yeah. I-I know there's something in there, I just don't know much about him. neutral communication behavior 81_9 I know you want me to see the doctor, I haven't called yet. sustain communication behavior 81_11 I don't know. It seems overwhelming to me. sustain communication behavior 81_13 Well, I hate making phone calls and I know I need to fill out all this paperwork. I don't know how to get there and I hate needles. sustain communication behavior 81_15 Yes. neutral communication behavior 81_17 Can you help me make the call? change communication behavior 81_19 Can you go with me to the appointment. change communication behavior 82_1 Sure. neutral communication behavior 82_3 I would say an eight. neutral communication behavior 82_5 I would say a four. neutral communication behavior 82_7 Mm-hmm. neutral communication behavior 82_9 Um, I think it's because you've told me I'm at risk and I have alcoholism in my family and I really don't want to go down that path. So I'm-I'm confident that I can change that at this point. change communication behavior 82_11 Um, well, I have a group of friends that doesn't drink that I hang out with. And I think when I hang out with them, it's not an issue. So that also helps me. change communication behavior 82_13 Yep. neutral communication behavior 82_15 Nope. neutral communication behavior 82_17 I would say an eight. neutral communication behavior 82_19 Every time,- neutral communication behavior 82_21 -probably a six. neutral communication behavior 82_23 Probably a six. neutral communication behavior 82_25 Um, I'm a six because I think if I drink less, I'll be more reliable with using birth control. I tend to not use it when I'm-- I drank too much and I don't really care too much. change communication behavior 82_27 Yeah. neutral communication behavior 82_29 Yes. neutral communication behavior 82_31 Before I leave? neutral communication behavior 82_33 Okay. neutral communication behavior 82_35 Okay. neutral communication behavior 83_1 Kia ora. neutral communication behavior 83_3 Yup. That's right. neutral communication behavior 83_5 I'm from down south. neutral communication behavior 83_7 Mm-hmm. neutral communication behavior 83_9 Yes sir. I'm from Invercargill just short of Bluff. All my family is still down there. neutral communication behavior 83_11 Mm-hmm. neutral communication behavior 83_13 Mm-hmm. Country boy. neutral communication behavior 83_15 I've been up here since I was 18. neutral communication behavior 83_17 Just a little while. Yeah. neutral communication behavior 83_19 Uh, just my own. neutral communication behavior 83_21 Um, I was thinking about what you might ask me, what I would say. I'm thinking about my kids, thinking about having to take a day off work. neutral communication behavior 83_23 It's a bit of a bitch. neutral communication behavior 83_25 Mm-hmm. neutral communication behavior 83_27 Uh, it's been okay. Um, it hasn't been bad. neutral communication behavior 83_29 I don't know. Kind of nothing, really. neutral communication behavior 83_31 Yeah. neutral communication behavior 83_33 Um, I hope that it says that I want to, um, make some changes. change communication behavior 83_35 Mm-hmm. neutral communication behavior 83_37 Yeah. And I still had to walk through those doors so- neutral communication behavior 83_39 -but, um, I just think about my kids, you know. change communication behavior 83_41 Yeah. neutral communication behavior 83_43 No. No, I don't. I see them, um, once a fortnight. neutral communication behavior 83_45 It sucks. neutral communication behavior 83_47 Yeah. neutral communication behavior 83_49 I just-- I'd love to be able to see them whenever I can, whenever I wanted to. neutral communication behavior 83_51 You know. I, um, they're my whole world and-and I've fucked things up. change communication behavior 83_53 So, you know. neutral communication behavior 83_55 It's really important. change communication behavior 83_57 It's, uh, um, it's hard because-because I'm, uh, I'm not a bad person. I've just done some stupid shit, but I'm not a bad person. sustain communication behavior 83_59 In-in regards to my kids, I'd be100- 100%. change communication behavior 83_61 If it means say, I can have my-- see my kids whenever I- whenever I want. change communication behavior 83_63 Um, I-I-I'd hope that they'd be proud of me. I wouldn't want my kids to see me- to see me here though. But I- But I hope they would be proud of me. change communication behavior 83_65 'Cause I'm-- Yeah. neutral communication behavior 83_67 Um, oh, my mom. neutral communication behavior 83_69 Yeah. neutral communication behavior 83_71 No. neutral communication behavior 83_73 Yeah, I am. change communication behavior 83_75 I just, um, I don't- don't know where to s-- where to start. I don't know. sustain communication behavior 83_77 Yeah, I hope so. I-- So I would genuinely want to, I genuinely want to do something to help myself. I don't deliberately fuck things up for myself. change communication behavior 83_79 No, this is important to me. change communication behavior 83_81 I have, um, I've-- it's important to me. change communication behavior 83_83 I, um, I'm separated at the moment from my missus and- neutral communication behavior 83_85 Uh, Kirsty. neutral communication behavior 83_87 I would- I would love f-f-for her to know that I'm doing this and for her to know that I mean it, but, um, I know she wouldn't give a shit right now actually. change communication behavior 83_89 Uh, yeah, I don't know. Maybe, but I don't know if I want them to know though. neutral communication behavior 83_91 Uh, I don't know. neutral communication behavior 83_93 I'm pretty much by myself up here. neutral communication behavior 83_95 Mm-hmm. neutral communication behavior 83_97 Um, I don't know. I don't, um, have that many people- neutral communication behavior 83_99 -that I am-- I don't have that many people I trust to support me. My mates, I love them but, um, yeah, I don't know. neutral communication behavior 83_101 Yeah, let's give it some thought. change communication behavior 83_103 Yeah. That'll definitely be true. neutral communication behavior 83_105 Uh, I have a good relationship with my mum,- neutral communication behavior 83_107 -with my brothers and sisters. neutral communication behavior 83_109 My mum is actually pretty important to me. neutral communication behavior 83_111 I think she'd be proud of me. change communication behavior 83_113 Yeah. neutral communication behavior 83_115 Yeah. Yeah. A good, uh, good family. neutral communication behavior 83_117 Um, I don't know. Um, have some-somebody just to listen. change communication behavior 83_119 She would- she would tell me that she loves me. She would tell me that she believes that I could do it. change communication behavior 83_121 For them to have a father they can look up to. change communication behavior 83_123 It is what I want. Definitely. change communication behavior 83_125 If I had their support of my-my family and [silence] I want to say that would be higher. I just know I fucked it up in the past. If they were there to support me now, then I’d be 99% sure. change communication behavior 83_127 Yeah. change communication behavior 84_1 Yeah, I'm all right. neutral communication behavior 84_3 Just caught the bus. neutral communication behavior 84_5 Yeah. neutral communication behavior 84_7 Just a waste of my time. neutral communication behavior 84_9 Mm-hmm. neutral communication behavior 84_11 Last time didn't really work out that well. neutral communication behavior 84_13 Nothing really helped me. neutral communication behavior 84_15 Yeah. neutral communication behavior 84_17 Yeah, I'd say so. neutral communication behavior 84_19 She didn't really listen to me, just told me what to do. She just bossed me around. neutral communication behavior 84_21 Yeah, yeah, yeah. neutral communication behavior 84_23 Yeah, she didn't really care. neutral communication behavior 84_25 Yeah. neutral communication behavior 84_27 I-I don't care that you're a woman. It's just- it's that you don't know what it's like to be me. neutral communication behavior 84_29 You have a different upbringing and live in a different place of town. Just- neutral communication behavior 84_31 -you wouldn't understand. neutral communication behavior 84_33 Yeah. neutral communication behavior 84_35 Yeah. neutral communication behavior 84_37 Yeah, so it is. neutral communication behavior 84_39 Mm-hmm. neutral communication behavior 84_41 Well, not too high. It's not like I'm out killing people or anything. It's just- sustain communication behavior 84_43 -silly stuff. sustain communication behavior 84_45 Yeah. neutral communication behavior 84_47 Mm, lots. When I stop getting caught. Don't wanna be back here again. change communication behavior 84_49 No. change communication behavior 84_51 No, sorry. change communication behavior 84_53 Mm, like what out of a scale it would like fall? neutral communication behavior 84_55 Mmh, 25. neutral communication behavior 84_57 Mmh. neutral communication behavior 84_59 Mmh. neutral communication behavior 84_61 Maybe but, mm, yeah, I wanna stop getting into trouble. change communication behavior 84_63 Yeah, but I don't think what I'm doing is that bad. sustain communication behavior 84_65 Just unlucky. sustain communication behavior 84_67 Yeah, the cops just have it out for me. sustain communication behavior 84_69 Just 'cause growing up dealing with them and my mates and stuff and there's, you know, guilty before charged or whatever. sustain communication behavior 84_71 Yeah, me and my mates always get singled out. sustain communication behavior 84_73 Yeah. sustain communication behavior 84_75 Just jacking cars and just stealing just, like, stuff and smokes and got done for that. neutral communication behavior 84_77 Yeah. neutral communication behavior 84_79 Yeah, well, I- neutral communication behavior 84_81 -wanna stop getting in trouble. Don't wanna- change communication behavior 84_83 -end up in prison for the rest of my life for doing stupid little things. change communication behavior 84_85 Yeah. change communication behavior 84_87 Get some income, some good cash or something. change communication behavior 84_89 A nice job. neutral communication behavior 84_91 A good-- yeah. neutral communication behavior 84_93 Pretty confident if I had a good job but otherwise, probably have to keep stealing stuff, I don't know. neutral communication behavior 84_95 So it depends. neutral communication behavior 84_97 Yeah. neutral communication behavior 84_99 Yeah, yeah, yeah. neutral communication behavior 84_101 Yeah, yeah, yeah, 'cause it's just small stuff that, you know, just 'cause I don't have any cash. change communication behavior 84_103 Yeah. sustain communication behavior 84_105 Yeah, just stupid little shit, yeah. neutral communication behavior 84_107 Yeah. sustain communication behavior 84_109 Yeah, no. That's- neutral communication behavior 84_111 -not an excuse but, yeah, I'll probably keep doing it. Just try not to get caught. neutral communication behavior 84_113 Yeah. Yeah, I just get bored and stuff. sustain communication behavior 84_115 Yeah, I get bored real easy. sustain communication behavior 84_117 I don't know. I got a short attention span or something. neutral communication behavior 84_119 Uh, just can't sit around home all day. I'd wanna go out and do something exciting. neutral communication behavior 84_121 Mmh. neutral communication behavior 84_123 Just talking about something I like. Like talking about cars is all good. neutral communication behavior 84_125 Yeah. neutral communication behavior 84_127 I probably just wouldn't listen. neutral communication behavior 84_129 Yeah. neutral communication behavior 84_131 Mm-hmm. neutral communication behavior 84_133 Yeah. neutral communication behavior 84_135 Well, not too bad. Yeah, getting out of trouble. change communication behavior 84_137 Yeah. neutral communication behavior 84_139 Ah, I got a lift from Donna. She's- neutral communication behavior 84_141 Like she's my new girlfriend. neutral communication behavior 84_143 Ah, just met her a few weeks ago and she's just, uh, real cool. She's really nice. Yeah, get along with her really well. neutral communication behavior 84_145 Yeah. neutral communication behavior 84_147 Donna is easy to talk to unlike other girls that I don't really get along with. Uh, she's like and a good friend too so- neutral communication behavior 84_149 Yeah. I can hang out with her and stuff and she gets all my mates and stuff. So it's all good. neutral communication behavior 84_151 Yeah, and I'm lucky. neutral communication behavior 84_153 She's just a really nice girl. neutral communication behavior 84_155 Yeah, it's good of her. neutral communication behavior 84_157 She thinks it's good. Yeah. Uh, she doesn't want to get in trouble and stuff. neutral communication behavior 84_159 Yeah, I was just getting busy with her and stuff. So it's all good. change communication behavior 84_161 Just, uh, just hanging out. Just watching movies and stuff just, I don't know, gives me something to do. change communication behavior 84_163 Yeah. neutral communication behavior 84_165 It's, yeah, just chilling with her. It's good. neutral communication behavior 84_167 Yeah mostly, yeah. change communication behavior 84_169 Uh, you know, [chuckles] mostly. neutral communication behavior 84_171 Yeah. neutral communication behavior 84_173 Oh no, just stupid stuff. Just when she like-- she has to go to work and stuff, so I have to keep myself busy. sustain communication behavior 84_175 Yeah. neutral communication behavior 84_177 She just works the whole day just typing numbers and stuff. neutral communication behavior 84_179 Yeah. She actually goes there four days a week though. neutral communication behavior 84_181 So we get to chill on Friday. neutral communication behavior 84_183 Yeah. neutral communication behavior 84_185 Well, uh, sleeping and then, I don't know, catch up my mates if they're not doing anything and just get up to mischief with them. neutral communication behavior 84_187 It's, uh, [unintelligible 00:13:34] for the cars out there, [unintelligible 00:13:36] no not-not normally. Yeah. neutral communication behavior 84_189 Yeah, I'm being careful though so- neutral communication behavior 84_191 But what do you mean? neutral communication behavior 84_193 Mm. neutral communication behavior 84_195 No, not really. neutral communication behavior 84_197 She'd tell me off. neutral communication behavior 84_199 Yeah. neutral communication behavior 84_201 Yeah. neutral communication behavior 84_203 Uh, okay, she wants me to be happy, I don't know. Me to get a job or something. So, get a nice car we could cruise around in it. neutral communication behavior 84_205 Yeah. neutral communication behavior 84_207 Just be able to buy her stuff. Nice car, nice house. neutral communication behavior 84_209 Just and it'd be good just me, her and just be able to provide for her would be cool. neutral communication behavior 84_211 Just settle down and maybe have some kids or something, family life. neutral communication behavior 84_213 Yeah. It'd be cool. neutral communication behavior 84_215 Yeah, I know she'd be a good mum, yeah. So— neutral communication behavior 84_217 Yeah. neutral communication behavior 84_219 I'd be all right. neutral communication behavior 84_221 Yeah. neutral communication behavior 84_223 Uh, I wouldn't boss them around. neutral communication behavior 84_225 No. neutral communication behavior 84_227 Yeah. neutral communication behavior 84_229 I don't know. It's just like-- My dad was really strict on me when I was little, and I don't want to be like that. neutral communication behavior 84_231 Yeah. neutral communication behavior 84_233 Mm. neutral communication behavior 85_1 Well, I'm glad I don't have any of that.[laughter] neutral communication behavior 85_3 Thank you. neutral communication behavior 85_5 Yeah, okay. neutral communication behavior 85_7 Yeah. neutral communication behavior 85_9 Well, you were asking me why I don't like to take my medicine. neutral communication behavior 85_11 I like to call it mild schizophrenia. neutral communication behavior 85_13 And-and-and, uh— neutral communication behavior 85_15 Yeah, just a little schizophrenia. I'm-I'm-- But, I'm okay with it, and so am I. neutral communication behavior 85_17 Oh, that makes me f-- Yeah, that makes me feel- sustain communication behavior 85_19 -relaxed. sustain communication behavior 85_21 I need that. sustain communication behavior 85_23 Um- neutral communication behavior 85_25 -I gotta be relaxed, you know- sustain communication behavior 85_27 -if-if you had, you know- if you had to ride around in the back of a garbage truck all day like I do- sustain communication behavior 85_29 -uh, it's, uh- it's stressful, you know. [clears throat] But, the doctor- you know, the other doctor put me on this medicine and-and I gotta take it every day. And, I-I don't like it. Uh, I'll just be honest with you, I don't like it. sustain communication behavior 85_31 It doesn't-- I don't like the way it makes you feel, um, I don't like the way it makes me act, and it's taken my sex drive, and just thrown it at the back of the garbage truck. sustain communication behavior 85_33 It is. neutral communication behavior 85_35 Right. neutral communication behavior 85_37 Well, i-it's kinda like I'm in kind of a dreamy world. I-it kind of, I don't know, i-it just seems like I'm kinda like living in the middle of a cotton ball or something like that, where just things are kinda soft and, I don't know, I-- It just, the-the spice of life doesn't seem to be there. It seems like everything's bland, and nothing really-- Food doesn't taste the same, and things don't smell right, and— sustain communication behavior 85_39 Very dull. sustain communication behavior 85_41 Very dull. sustain communication behavior 85_43 That's a good way to sum it up. And it's-- Well, you understand it, uh, it's just- it's not good. sustain communication behavior 85_45 Well, I feel like it's taken part of my personality and just thrown it away. I don't really feel like I'm all there, right. You know, like, um, I like to be spontaneous and funny, and-and all that night, and I- and I don't-- You know, by the time I come up with a-a funny remark to the situation, everybody's left the room, and-[laughter]-stuff like that. And-and-- [chuckles] sustain communication behavior 85_47 Absolutely. neutral communication behavior 85_49 And so, as you can can tell, I didn't take my medication today, I'm-I'm-I'm really on my game today. So. sustain communication behavior 85_51 More like takes the edge off- neutral communication behavior 85_53 -for sure. neutral communication behavior 85_55 Well, you understand that. neutral communication behavior 85_57 You-you can- you can understand why I don't take it. neutral communication behavior 85_59 Right-right. neutral communication behavior 85_61 Well, she wants to know who I am and what did I do with her husband. sustain communication behavior 85_63 Yeah. neutral communication behavior 85_65 Yeah. And, uh- and so, she-- Actually, she-- When I first went on the medicine, she thought I was maybe messing around with somebody else, 'cause, I-I just wasn't interested in it at all. neutral communication behavior 85_67 I canceled my subscription to the spice channel. neutral communication behavior 85_69 I don't know if they still have it or not. [chuckles] neutral communication behavior 85_71 Well, if I stay off the medication too long, I-- Some people might say there's a problem with that, you know. change communication behavior 85_73 Well, I guess running around the neighborhood with no clothes on isn't really good. change communication behavior 85_75 Um, I thought I had a, uh— neutral communication behavior 85_77 Yeah, well, I thought I had my gym shorts on, but they said that I didn't. neutral communication behavior 85_79 Well, I-I ended up in the hospital. neutral communication behavior 85_81 Don't like that hospital. change communication behavior 85_83 Uh. [clears throat] I'm not sure that the hospital is worse than the cotton ball, but I don't like it either. neutral communication behavior 85_85 Well, I got a question for you. You're a doctor, why don't you guys come up with some- something else besides either being in the hospital or taking this stuff every day, can you come up with something? I mean, you guys, we put a man on the moon 50 years ago, I mean, and you still got to give me this stuff that makes me feel like a-a zombie with-- That hasn't had a drink or water in four days, it-it just doesn't seem right. Either you guys ought to come up with something better. That's what I think. sustain communication behavior 85_87 Yeah. neutral communication behavior 85_89 I suppose. neutral communication behavior 85_91 Well. Yeah. Well, yeah, I-I'd like to. I don't know, is it-- Can you- can you drink with them, some of these other ones? change communication behavior 85_93 Well, I don't really drink like people-- Like some alcoholic or something but, I do— sustain communication behavior 85_95 I-I like to take the edge off- sustain communication behavior 85_97 You know, with a few drinks, you know, not-not a lot, you know, and-and really- sustain communication behavior 85_99 Not every day. neutral communication behavior 85_101 Maybe. neutral communication behavior 85_103 Maybe not, uh- neutral communication behavior 85_105 You know, it's not all the time, it's-it's not- it's not a problem. sustain communication behavior 85_107 Certainly not a problem. sustain communication behavior 85_109 Well, if I was like getting arrested for drunk driving. neutral communication behavior 85_111 Well, that's what alcoholics do. I'm not an alcoholic. sustain communication behavior 85_113 Um, I'm just- yeah I just like to have a few drinks. I mean, you know, obviously, I-I have, uh, this diagnosed condition, and-and I think, you know, if I were able to, you know, maybe take a few hits off of the joint and have a couple of beers, I think that's about the same as taking the medicine. sustain communication behavior 85_115 Yeah, I-I-I got to be careful with it. If I take more than a hit or two of it, it-it-it can be a bit of a problem. change communication behavior 85_117 I get edgy. change communication behavior 85_119 I-I-I get edgy. change communication behavior 85_121 No-no. I'd-I'd like to just be normal as well. I'd real-- I'd like to just be normal where I don't have to take medicine, and I don't end up in the hospital three times a year, and I don't find myself in the neighbor's yard— change communication behavior 85_123 With a statue. It's— neutral communication behavior 85_125 They were really ticked about that statue thing this time, and I don't know why I keep going back over there, but— neutral communication behavior 85_127 I really don't, but, apparently, when I'm in that state, uh, there's something about it, I'm not sure. neutral communication behavior 85_129 Well, maybe. I-I-I guess that's possible. change communication behavior 86_0 I just feel helpless about this whole deal. neutral communication behavior 86_2 Mm. I just feel helpless about this whole deal. neutral communication behavior 86_4 No one wants to help me. neutral communication behavior 86_6 No one wants to help me. neutral communication behavior 86_8 Mm-hmm. I really shouldn't have done it. neutral communication behavior 86_10 Mm-hmm. I really shouldn't have done it. neutral communication behavior 86_12 Mm-hmm. I couldn't help myself. neutral communication behavior 86_14 I couldn't help myself. neutral communication behavior 86_16 It's actually been a fabulous week. neutral communication behavior 86_18 It's actually been a fabulous week. neutral communication behavior 86_20 Mm-hmm. I know who to hang out with, I'm not stupid. neutral communication behavior 86_22 I know who to hang out with, I'm not stupid. neutral communication behavior 86_24 Mm-hmm. I'm letting the whole family down. They had such high hopes for me. neutral communication behavior 86_26 Mm-hmm. I'm letting my whole family down. They had such high hopes for me. neutral communication behavior 86_28 Mm-hmm. This is not what I want for my life. neutral communication behavior 86_30 This is not what I want for my life. neutral communication behavior 86_32 Mm-hmm. I really want to get off the program. sustain communication behavior 86_34 I really want to get off the program. sustain communication behavior 86_36 Mm-hmm. I still crave smoking, even though I've stopped. sustain communication behavior 86_38 I still crave smoking, even though I've stopped. sustain communication behavior 86_40 Mm-hmm. neutral communication behavior 87_1 Mm-hmm. neutral communication behavior 87_3 Um, yeah, I, [sigh] that, I mean, like, when I was doing those questionnaires, it was weird because, I mean, I guess I don't really think about, like, you know, the drinking being, like, this huge deal and I don't- neutral communication behavior 87_5 -ever really think about, like-like, how much I drink. neutral communication behavior 87_7 Um, and, like, fi- like filling out, like, how much I'm drinking every day, it was like, whoa, you know- neutral communication behavior 87_9 -like, I just didn't ever really think about it, like, that I was-- like, if I try to actually count the drinks, it's, kind of, a lot, I mean, it's, kind of, a lot. change communication behavior 87_11 Well, yeah, 'cause, like, I also, kind of, thought that, like, I drink, like, about as much as my friends did and then, like, I went back and I was, like, talking to my roommate about it and I was, like, telling her that, you know, I was drinking, like, like 10 drinks on the weekends, like, including Thursday, so like, Thursday, Friday- neutral communication behavior 87_13 -Saturday, Sunday. neutral communication behavior 87_15 "And then she was like, ""Sarah, that's cra-- Like, that is crazy. Why are, you know, like, where are you drinking this?"" And I was- I was like, ""Well, you know, like, different places."" And I-I guess, like, I don't know, my friends didn't, like, know. Anyway, it's, yeah, I don't know." neutral communication behavior 87_17 Yeah, and yeah, I guess it was just like, I thought that everybody was, like, doing it, you know- change communication behavior 87_19 -but that's not really what was going on. [chuckles] change communication behavior 87_21 Yeah. change communication behavior 87_23 Yeah, so, that was the thing that, like, was really the most weird about doing those- change communication behavior 87_25 -forms. change communication behavior 88_0 For me. neutral communication behavior 88_2 Um, I have to start getting the school on time for my first hour. I always miss that class. change communication behavior 88_4 Yes. neutral communication behavior 88_6 Uh, so people will get off my back. change communication behavior 88_8 My mom she's always saying, you know, get to school. My PO will be like, you know, if you don't get the school on time, I can bring you back in for sanctions and I don't want to go back in. change communication behavior 88_10 Yes. neutral communication behavior 88_12 I will try. change communication behavior 88_14 I can't ever get up in the morning. So that's hard and then by the time I do get up, and then I get ready and get dressed, I miss the bus. So then I usually end up walking or see if I can find a ride. So it could be a bunch of different reasons why I'm late. neutral communication behavior 88_16 No. neutral communication behavior 88_18 Get up on time would probably be a good start of making me get there on time. change communication behavior 88_20 [sighs] If I'm gonna catch the bus I'll probably need to be up by 6:15 and sometimes that's just so hard to do, 'cause I go to bed so late and I don't know if I can do it. sustain communication behavior 88_22 Right. I could try- change communication behavior 88_24 - and see how it goes. neutral communication behavior 88_26 Yes. neutral communication behavior 88_28 I go about midnight now, so if I tried maybe 11:00. I can try 11:00. change communication behavior 88_30 Yes. neutral communication behavior 88_32 Uh, either tomorrow or the next day. neutral communication behavior 88_34 Let's start tomorrow. change communication behavior 88_36 My mom. neutral communication behavior 88_38 Mm-hmm. neutral communication behavior 88_40 [sighs] She can after my alarm goes off, if I don't get up, she could come in and wake me up and remind me that I said to you that I'm going to get up so that I have to do it. change communication behavior 88_42 Exactly. Yup. neutral communication behavior 88_44 [sighs] Not going to bed on time. neutral communication behavior 88_46 Yup, that's gonna be a struggle for me. sustain communication behavior 88_48 Mm-hmm. neutral communication behavior 88_50 Just go to bed and turn off the lights, don't have my phone. change communication behavior 88_52 Oh, yeah. neutral communication behavior 88_54 Yes. neutral communication behavior 88_56 Have my mom check on me to make sure everything's put away. change communication behavior 88_58 Mm-hmm. neutral communication behavior 88_60 When I'm at school on time, when the bell rings and I'm in class. change communication behavior 88_62 Absolutely. neutral communication behavior 88_64 Well, yeah, I hope so. change communication behavior 88_66 I'll give it a try. change communication behavior 88_68 You're welcome. neutral communication behavior 91_1 Good morning, doctor. neutral communication behavior 91_3 Well, doctor, I-I made an appointment with you finally, because I was diagnosed over three months ago with a pulmonary disease, COPD. neutral communication behavior 91_5 And although I didn't call right away. I really need some help in quitting smoking. change communication behavior 91_7 So I thought, well, this is my first step. So, uh, it's time to do something. change communication behavior 91_9 A respirologist. neutral communication behavior 91_11 I'm- I'm really scared, uh, 'cause I don't feel well. neutral communication behavior 91_13 I haven't felt well for a while. I'm getting coughing fits even when I'm on the telephone with customers. change communication behavior 91_15 Mm-hmm. I-I don't know what I'm going to do about it. neutral communication behavior 91_17 I'm giving myself six months, six months and-and, uh, that seems like a long time away, but I have a feeling I'm going to fail at this point in time. I don't even have 50%, uh, faith in myself. sustain communication behavior 91_19 I don't know what to do. I've tried to quit smoking. I've had, uh, I've taken pills, I've taken the patch. neutral communication behavior 91_21 I've gone through therapy. Uh, nothing's helped. I finally- I went to the doctor. I was actually in the hospital. They took me to the hospital for a week. That's the longest I quit. neutral communication behavior 91_23 I had no choice, I had no choice. And then the next day I was back to smoking again what I smoked. sustain communication behavior 91_25 Uh, it's part of my life. It's, uh, I started smoking when I was 13, 14 at home. My parents smoked. All of their friends smoked. It was on television. Everybody looked so grand. sustain communication behavior 91_27 Uh, smoking and all dressed up and-and fancy clothes and maybe having a drink in their hands and having a nice meal, um, I didn't really think about it. It's just an extension of me, I guess. It's-it's good for my nerves. change communication behavior 91_29 "I mean, I feel like it is. I know when I've got that package in my pocket, or I know if there- if I'm going through some stress, I say, ""Oh, well, I'll have a cigarette and think this out.""" sustain communication behavior 91_31 That's right. neutral communication behavior 91_33 Um, I enjoy it. It just- it relaxes me. It's great after a meal, um, for me- sustain communication behavior 91_35 -we all just do it as a little group of people, uh, my family. change communication behavior 91_37 The people I work with, we go out in the courtyard- neutral communication behavior 91_39 -have a cigarette and talk. That's how you make friends. A lot of people, um, we're like a little group now, we're all- a little bunch of us. neutral communication behavior 91_41 I-I never thought of it that way, but probably you're right. neutral communication behavior 91_43 Well, it's bad for my health and it's scaring me 'cause I don't feel well. change communication behavior 91_45 I haven't felt well for a while. I'm getting coughing fits even when I'm on the telephone with customers. change communication behavior 91_47 Um, it's expensive, really got expensive, and I smoked 30, 40, sometimes 50 cigarettes a day. And I'm starting to buy different makeup 'cause I'm starting to really age, starting to get lines in my face and wrinkles and my skin is getting really clogged up and I'm spending a fortune on cosmetics. change communication behavior 91_49 Yes. neutral communication behavior 91_51 It's for me, for my health, and for the money and everything I've said, I would say it's 10 or- out of 10 that I should quit smoking. change communication behavior 91_53 Yes. A hundred percent, one of the most important things. change communication behavior 91_55 Um, I, I'd say 35 or 40% competent. neutral communication behavior 91_57 Yeah. I'd like to say more, but, um- change communication behavior 91_59 Well, I'm- I guess I'm still a fighter, and I-I-I- it's starting to- I'm starting to realize it and I do feel pretty good that I came to see you. I-I- it was a step and a couple of people who care about me actually, uh, gave me a pat on the back that I came to see you. So- change communication behavior 91_61 -this was a big step. So I guess, yes. Um, it wouldn't have been as high maybe last week. change communication behavior 91_63 Maybe if I could come to see you again, or maybe some ideas were suggested, maybe if there was a group or something. I-I don't know, but I-I need some help. change communication behavior 91_65 I-I think so because I feel a little better that I just came to see you today. neutral communication behavior 91_67 Discussing things helps me. I always feel better when I get things out. neutral communication behavior 91_69 In other words, think about it more, don't- don't just do it automatically. neutral communication behavior 91_71 Yeah, yeah. I think so because, um, when I get the urge, I could maybe fight it and, um, maybe wait till the next urge- change communication behavior 91_73 -and maybe mark that down that, uh, I didn't go right away when something went wrong. Um, yes, I-I can try that. change communication behavior 91_75 No, that gives me something to work towards until I see you next week. change communication behavior 91_77 Thank you for seeing me, doctor. neutral communication behavior 93_1 I think the activity piece is the kind of low-hanging fruit that I see. Um, I feel like it's gonna be harder for me to change some of my nutrition habits right out the gate, but if I can get into maybe an activity routine, that that could be good to help maybe some of the other changes happen later. change communication behavior 93_3 Yeah, I think so. neutral communication behavior 93_5 Yeah, I think just to feeling like physically stronger, um, like physically more able. Uh, last night I like struggled with the jar of salsa, like opening it. So I think that just stuff like that, um, you know, would be in addition to mood and being more productive and energy and all that stuff. Um, yeah, that that would be a definite end goal for me too. And then really to like, I think if I am more active, I think my body image or my body confidence would improve also. change communication behavior 93_7 Mm-hmm. neutral communication behavior 93_9 Hmm, I'd say I'm about an eight. neutral communication behavior 93_11 Mm-hmm. neutral communication behavior 93_13 Well, like I said, I just, I've identified like a lot of things that I think would be good. Um, if I were to be more active and I definitely wanna have that improved mood and energy, um, and feel better about myself. Um, so yeah, all of those things I think are what's really driving that- that rating. change communication behavior 93_15 Mm-hmm. neutral communication behavior 93_17 I don't think so. neutral communication behavior 93_19 Yeah. neutral communication behavior 93_21 Mm-hmm, yeah. neutral communication behavior 93_23 Yeah, that'd be great. neutral communication behavior 94_1 Um, how about if we talk about, uh, the problem that I'm really having is, um, getting somebody motivated to do something, um, such as move out of my house. neutral communication behavior 94_3 Well, I-I offered my home to somebody and, uh, for, you know, uh, a transitional period. neutral communication behavior 94_5 You know, and it seems that, um, it's hard for me to be assertive and say I think the, um, the, uh, transitional period is- has come and it's beginning to time to transition. So. neutral communication behavior 94_7 Yeah, that's, it's absolutely right that I want, I-I want change but I'm not, I am kind of, like, weak in that area where it's, like, the ability to actually say the words. You're right, yeah. I'd like to be able to do that. change communication behavior 94_9 Um. [sighs] I don't know, I'm-I'm, I guess, I'm kind of, um, I care about the person and, you know, there's a certain amount of comfortability of having somebody with you, you know, and I'm just, so, I guess I am at war with myself because part of me wants the comfort of having a companion and the other part of me is just, you know-- I-I cannot-- I am not really sure what I wanna do, you know. sustain communication behavior 94_11 Yeah, you know, it's kind of, like, the old sock- song saying hit the road Jack, don't you come back no more, no more, no more, no more. [laughs] And— change communication behavior 94_13 [laughs] Well, first of all I think he would hit the road if I started singing that song 'cause I can sing. [laughs] neutral communication behavior 94_15 Well, you know, in life you have to have a sense of humor in my- the way I view and otherwise, you know, I'd be like where's the news. [laughs] I mean, it's either— neutral communication behavior 94_17 Yeah, yeah, I have to laugh, I mean, even comedians say, you know, uh, most of-- What I've heard about comedians is that they are really not always that happy and they use that in a comical way to, you know, deal with life, so, yeah. [laughs] I kind of, maybe I should go into that. [laughs] Like this girl— neutral communication behavior 94_19 Yeah, like this girl Ruth that I know she's-she's, uh, got a serious job and she kind of does that on the side. [laughs] neutral communication behavior 94_21 Mm. Let's see. Well, you know, I'm really not sure, I kind of, you know. Um, I'm having a hard time with that. Um. neutral communication behavior 94_23 Mm, well, I have to really think about it because- neutral communication behavior 94_25 Yeah, yeah. Maybe some guilt and I, um, uh, I just, you know, [sighs] I go back and forth a little bit, you know. sustain communication behavior 94_27 Yeah. neutral communication behavior 94_29 Yeah, I-I- yeah. I mean I- thank you. I-I-I appreciate you saying that I'm a good person. Like I feel I am. Um— neutral communication behavior 94_31 Yeah. Oops, it's just hard to- it's just hard to, um, er, yeah. I- my j- my job is done and I have to start to realize that I have to be a little bit more assertive, I think, and a little bit more, um, sure of myself. change communication behavior 94_33 Well, um, I've had co-conversations about with him and sometimes not-not so pleasant, but I'm-I'm just making, you know, 'cause I happen to sometimes just like hold things in. And then finally I- at-at one point I was really, you know, very logical about it. And then the other day I kind of got not so logical about it. neutral communication behavior 94_35 [laughs] neutral communication behavior 94_37 Yeah. That's the good thing that he does. And I mentioned them. I-I-I discussed that with him. neutral communication behavior 94_39 And that gives me a relie- a sense of relief. Like I'm not just, you know, saying yeah. You know, go find your own place or, you know, I mean, there are places where he has a safety net to go to and that-that is something that I think I feel better about and that it makes it easier to discuss and giving them options that he can-- Yeah, yeah, exactly. change communication behavior 94_41 Been there, done that. [laughs] neutral communication behavior 94_43 Yeah. neutral communication behavior 94_45 Well, um, I told him within a couple of days is, you know. I think, um, I-I- cause I have future plans, um, and some things that are up in the air with me as far as where I'm going to be living in. I've had this place for seven years, but I'm not sure, you know. Every day is a new- a new, uh, winding road that we go down, you know? neutral communication behavior 94_47 Um. neutral communication behavior 94_49 Oh, God, yeah, yeah. But, you know, and it's scary to have an extra, a huge extra trunk that you have to carry with you [chuckles]. neutral communication behavior 94_51 Yeah, yeah. neutral communication behavior 94_53 But I-I mean and it's not that I don't care about him, I do. But you know, it's just like, we're both- we're all adults here, come on. change communication behavior 94_55 Um, that's the goal, you know. change communication behavior 94_57 And I don't know what his plans are, but those are my plans. change communication behavior 94_59 I like your way of thinking, girl. I-I'll tell him that. [laughs]. neutral communication behavior 94_61 Thank you neutral communication behavior 95_1 Um, okay. Just, I don't even know why I'm doing this anymore. I'm-I'm just so stupid. I'm such an idiot. I didn't know what the point of-of this is. I just- I just keep doing the same thing over and over, even though I know it can kill me. I just, I don't have any more willpower, ma'am. Yeah, [foreign language]. sustain communication behavior 95_3 Mm-hmm. sustain communication behavior 95_5 No, it just seems that cutting myself is the only way out. And I just get suicidal thoughts and [foreign language], I'm just very, very like depressed and what's going on at home. sustain communication behavior 95_7 Yeah. sustain communication behavior 95_9 Yes. Sometimes a pain in-in the body. It's, uh, to [unintelligible 00:01:27] handle and-and the pain inside of me. sustain communication behavior 95_11 Yes. I am. sustain communication behavior 95_13 Yeah, yeah, suicide. sustain communication behavior 95_15 [foreign language] neutral communication behavior 95_17 Yeah, 'cause she's a single mom and she struggles a lot. I wanna help her, but I can't help her. So it just makes me sad. I feel like if I don't live anymore, she'll be okay. And she wouldn't have to worry about me or pay my stuff. sustain communication behavior 95_19 Yeah. sustain communication behavior 95_21 I-I think so? neutral communication behavior 95_23 Because it won't be a burden to her. sustain communication behavior 95_25 Because she has to pay for my food and my uniforms, um, to have a roof over our heads. sustain communication behavior 95_27 Um, I try to be a good kid. I tried to go to school. I may not have the best grades, but I'm not failing any classes. change communication behavior 95_29 That's the right one. sustain communication behavior 95_31 Um, I don't know. I don't know. It's just, um, I'm not sure I can. sustain communication behavior 95_33 Thank you, ma'am, I feel better. change communication behavior 95_35 Okay. neutral communication behavior 96_1 Uh, yeah, sure. Um, I guess, well, my doctor referred me to see you. Um, I guess he has some concerns about, um, my- my pregnancy and- and my baby. So, um, yeah, well, I'm doing what I'm told. neutral communication behavior 96_3 Uh, yeah, he is concerned about my alcohol intake. neutral communication behavior 96_5 Uh, no. sustain communication behavior 96_7 Mm-hmm. neutral communication behavior 96_9 Um, okay. Uh, well, I guess I drink like a glass of wine at supper every night, and just to, you know, relax a little with my friends if I go out. So wine has always been a kind of a family tradition with supper. So- sustain communication behavior 96_11 Yeah. neutral communication behavior 96_13 Yeah, and I, you know, I-I have friends who have drank during pregnancy, and-and I see articles on Facebook and-and, you know, things that show that there isn't really a clear link between, you know, abnormalities or, uh, yeah, I just- I just think it's kind of an old wives' tale. So, you know, I'm independent and I'm gonna- I'm gonna do what I want, it's my body. sustain communication behavior 96_15 Yeah. You know, I've looked it up to see, you know, kinda what I can say back, you know, to support my argument. sustain communication behavior 96_17 Yeah, which is that, um, I'm going to do what I- do what I wanna do and what I know, right? So it's- yeah. I don't know, but, um, I'm here anyway. So- sustain communication behavior 96_19 Nope. I never have been. sustain communication behavior 96_21 Yep. neutral communication behavior 96_23 Mm-hmm. I think so. neutral communication behavior 96_25 Yeah. I mean, you know- neutral communication behavior 96_27 Yeah. neutral communication behavior 96_29 Like right now? neutral communication behavior 96_31 Uh- neutral communication behavior 96_33 Uh, yeah, I guess. neutral communication behavior 96_35 Sure. neutral communication behavior 96_37 Well, you know, I've-I've heard these kinds of things before, but I just- I don't see the evidence. I don't see the risk, you know, I don't, you know, if someone can like prove to me, or show a direct link or something like that. sustain communication behavior 96_39 It's the same thing. sustain communication behavior 96_41 Yeah. It's just a fancy little brochure saying what I've already known, I've already heard. neutral communication behavior 96_43 Mm-hmm. neutral communication behavior 96_45 Um, well, I've looked up, um, different articles. Um, and I- as I said, I personally know people who haven't had any problems. Um, so that's about the extent. sustain communication behavior 96_47 Like, uh, I don't like- have like a bibliography or anything. neutral communication behavior 96_49 So I can't really- I don't really know when those were published. It's just stuff I've found, supporting the way that I look at it. neutral communication behavior 96_51 Yeah. Well, it's like all this brochure is saying is that, um, the same again, the same thing that I've heard, that the limits and that there is no safe amount of drink during pregnancy, but it's like, why not? neutral communication behavior 96_53 "You know, it's kind of like the ""why"" that it's like-" neutral communication behavior 96_55 -I never get that information. neutral communication behavior 96_57 Yeah, like what kind of issues would that cause if any? neutral communication behavior 96_59 Yeah. neutral communication behavior 96_61 Yep. neutral communication behavior 96_63 Um, well, it's-it's really important to me. That's a big priority of mine is to have a healthy baby and bring him or her up well and-and, you know, be a good parent. neutral communication behavior 96_65 Um, not-not like being there at home with them, not being absent, um, taking care of them, feeding them, um, changing their diaper, which I'm not excited about. Um, you know, kind of the- those basics. neutral communication behavior 96_67 Yeah. neutral communication behavior 96_69 Mm-hmm. neutral communication behavior 96_71 Yeah. neutral communication behavior 96_73 Yeah, of course. neutral communication behavior 96_75 Mm-hmm. neutral communication behavior 96_77 Um, well, I just don't know- I just don't know where-where these brochures get their information or-or anything from, like, where's the hard evidence essentially. neutral communication behavior 96_79 Yeah. neutral communication behavior 96_81 Um, well, it surprises me that that's based on research from out of 2011, um, and I must have missed that. I guess, you know, if it is, um, you know, I do wanna do what's best for my baby and for myself. And if I have to quit drinking, um, I guess ultimately I have to-I make that decision, um, but, um, that's a lot of, uh, information to take in today. change communication behavior 96_83 Nope. neutral communication behavior 96_85 Um, well, first things first, if I could take a brochure home maybe, um, you know, show it to my partner and-and-and get-get their support, um, I think that's really gonna help me, and kind of changing our-our habits, or, you know, putting the alcohol away, out of sight. Um, I think that's probably the best thing I can do, like, today when I get home. change communication behavior 96_87 Yeah. neutral communication behavior 96_89 Yeah, I think that- I think that would be a good idea, and maybe you could help me, yeah, with, like, ways to approach it because I think that my partner kind of has the same view that I- that I had. So- change communication behavior 96_91 Yeah. Thank you. neutral communication behavior 97_1 Good. neutral communication behavior 97_3 Yeah. neutral communication behavior 97_5 What? neutral communication behavior 97_7 You are joking, aren't you? I mean, look, I've made time in my day to come here. sustain communication behavior 97_9 I'm kept in your waiting room- neutral communication behavior 97_11 -for 45 minutes. neutral communication behavior 97_13 It's not acceptable. neutral communication behavior 97_15 You know? neutral communication behavior 97_17 If I make an appointment with a client for 10:00- neutral communication behavior 97_19 -I expect them to start at 10:00, not 10:45. neutral communication behavior 97_21 Yeah, I've got other things to do. I've got accounts to do. neutral communication behavior 97_23 I've got clients they're coming in. neutral communication behavior 97_25 You know? neutral communication behavior 97_27 Yeah, I mean, okay, fair enough, um, I've got to have my blood pressure- neutral communication behavior 97_29 -medication changed, but I really haven't got time to talk about my weight. I mean, you know, I'm aware of my weight. neutral communication behavior 97_31 I'm aware of the problems, and I'm also aware of the solutions. neutral communication behavior 97_33 Um, so I don't really need a discussion, it's- it's just I've got too much to do at the moment, you know? neutral communication behavior 97_35 Yeah. neutral communication behavior 97_37 Well, it's b- it's bad form, you know? neutral communication behavior 97_39 Yeah, but basically I've got things to do. neutral communication behavior 97_41 I gotta get back to the office. neutral communication behavior 97_43 I've got a pile of work- neutral communication behavior 97_47 And every time- every moment out of my day- neutral communication behavior 97_49 -means that I have to work in the evening- neutral communication behavior 97_51 -or the weekends. neutral communication behavior 97_53 Well, when you're self-employed, you haven't got a choice, you know? neutral communication behavior 97_55 Well, I'm here now, so yeah, okay, if it's a couple of minutes, yeah? neutral communication behavior 97_57 Okay, because I really must get on. neutral communication behavior 97_59 About what-what, losing weight? Well, obviously, I-I want to. change communication behavior 97_61 Um, yeah, I mean, who doesn't? I mean, I'm aware that I'm over my, uh, uh, b-b-b-balance weight, but I now know that it's causing problems. I mean, obviously, I get out of breath if I have to do something a bit howering, and I realize that I'm on this blood pressure- change communication behavior 97_63 -um, and-and maybe that's probably contributing to it. change communication behavior 97_65 Yeah, I mean, there are rather other things, but I mean, yeah, the weight is a- is a- is a- something I would like to get hold off. You get on [inaudible 00:03:17] change communication behavior 97_67 "Yeah, I mean, I know, um, th- the theories of bit of exercise on a regular basis, um, a balanced diet. Um, but unfortunately, because of my lifestyle, because of being self-employed as an accountant, it's finding the time, uh, to exercise, but also, finding the time to sort of think, ""Okay, I'm gonna go shopping for this, that, and the other""-" neutral communication behavior 97_69 "-""I'm gonna prepare a meal.""" change communication behavior 97_71 With me, it's very often— neutral communication behavior 97_73 Yeah, yeah. Food on the run, you know? neutral communication behavior 97_75 Grazing. neutral communication behavior 97_77 Yeah. neutral communication behavior 97_79 Yeah. neutral communication behavior 97_81 Yeah, I mean, I, to a certain extent, because of my lifestyle, food is just fuel. neutral communication behavior 97_83 You know? Um, because I'm juggling all these balls, and I don't want to drop any. neutral communication behavior 97_85 No. neutral communication behavior 97_87 Um, okay, I'm up for that, but it's gonna be the same problem of, A, finding time- neutral communication behavior 97_89 -and B, if I can make an appointment- neutral communication behavior 97_91 -I don't expect to be kept waiting for half an hour- neutral communication behavior 97_93 -or whatever, 'cause it's— neutral communication behavior 97_95 That'd be good. neutral communication behavior 97_97 I'll maybe have a look at my schedule, see whether anything- neutral communication behavior 97_99 -can be arranged, or I can pass something on- neutral communication behavior 97_101 -to something on to some-- and-and so it's not a wasted interview. So I can come here and say, okay, I've looked at my schedules, I've looked at things- neutral communication behavior 97_103 -whatever. neutral communication behavior 97_105 Yeah, of course. neutral communication behavior 97_107 Okay, thanks. Sorry, I went off a bit. neutral communication behavior 98_1 Hi, Kathy, nice to meet you. neutral communication behavior 98_3 Okay. neutral communication behavior 98_5 Sure. neutral communication behavior 98_7 Absolutely. Yeah. neutral communication behavior 98_9 Yeah. I got a DUI, and I was speeding, uh, during the DUI, obviously. neutral communication behavior 98_11 No, I'm fine. Yeah neutral communication behavior 98_13 The night of the-the DUI is the last time I drank. neutral communication behavior 98_15 And then, you know, um, I guess I'm here 'cause my lawyer wants me to go through an assessment- sustain communication behavior 98_17 -uh, with you, and, um, I'm really not sure what it means or anything like that, but, uh, he said I'm supposed to come here and, uh, just tell the truth, is what he told me. neutral communication behavior 98_19 Yeah. neutral communication behavior 98_21 Okay. neutral communication behavior 98_23 Is it bad, or is it high or? neutral communication behavior 98_25 Okay. neutral communication behavior 98_27 Okay neutral communication behavior 98_29 Yeah. He was, well, freaking out. He was-- neutral communication behavior 98_31 I think he was getting a little over the top a little bit, but, you know, again, whatever. neutral communication behavior 98_33 Yes. neutral communication behavior 98_35 Uh, my friend was having a, um- a get together as it was birthday party in, uh, downtown, and, uh, you know, it's not like it's a normal thing, but, uh, I did drink too much that night. You know, I just, uh-- And I used poor judgment. I shouldn't have driven that night. neutral communication behavior 98_37 Um, I don't really remember. I know, uh, I dunno, I probably had five or six drinks, I would think, something like that. neutral communication behavior 98_39 Um, yeah, they were a little bigger than that. I don't really-- I wasn't really counting, so, I don't really know. neutral communication behavior 98_41 Five or six, something like that. Yeah. neutral communication behavior 98_43 Um, absolute vodka- neutral communication behavior 98_45 -and seven off. Yeah. neutral communication behavior 98_47 Yeah. neutral communication behavior 98_49 Normally I drink one or two, and that's kind of it, you know, this one I did, uh- you know, I did feel a little drunk when I was- you know, when I was drinking, I just, uh, used poor judgment. I really shouldn't have drove. neutral communication behavior 98_51 Um, sometimes I drink, um, you know, maybe one or two, and then I- and then I won't drink for a while, you know. So, it's not really a-- There's not really a pattern- sustain communication behavior 98_53 -you know, it's not really like a uh- it's not a habit, you know, sustain communication behavior 98_55 I-I don't know if I would consider myself alcoholic. You know, I just, uh, um, you know, again, it was poor judgment. sustain communication behavior 98_57 Oh, no. neutral communication behavior 98_59 Absolutely not. Mm-mm. sustain communication behavior 98_61 Yeah. neutral communication behavior 98_63 Um, there was really not a time that I, uh-- I don't know. I-I don't understand the question really. I mean, it-- There really wasn't-- I don't really drink on a normal basis, so, I don't know-- [crosstalk] sustain communication behavior 98_65 Yeah. neutral communication behavior 98_67 Yeah. neutral communication behavior 98_69 Yeah. neutral communication behavior 98_71 Yeah. neutral communication behavior 98_73 It seems like every time that I, uh, do drink more than a couple of drinks, I tend to get in trouble. And, the two times that I did, I got in trouble both times. [crosstalk] neutral communication behavior 98_75 Yeah, pretty much. I mean, it's-- It sounds strange, I know, but, uh-- neutral communication behavior 98_77 Yeah. Actually, that-that's followed me around pretty much my whole life, the bad luck thing. neutral communication behavior 98_79 But the-the-the-the-the alcohol hasn't really at all. sustain communication behavior 98_81 Yeah. neutral communication behavior 98_83 Yeah. neutral communication behavior 98_85 Sure seems like it. Yeah. It sure seems like that. neutral communication behavior 98_87 Um, you know, I don't really, um-- I-I don't really, uh, get into a situation where I-I-I drink too much. Um, you know, again, I-I realize it's my second DUI, but,, um, uh-uh, it isn't something that, um, is like a normal everyday process for me. sustain communication behavior 98_89 Um, you know, normally when I drink, I drink one or two drinks and then I stop. Um, so, it's not like it's, um-- You know, it's not like it's something that has become a problem in my life, you know. sustain communication behavior 98_91 Um, it's normally social. neutral communication behavior 98_93 Yeah. It's normally social. It would be, you know, maybe in events or something like that is normally when I would, um, maybe drink more than one or two. neutral communication behavior 98_95 I guess I should probably just call a taxi cab or something, you know. That way, I wouldn't have this problem. change communication behavior 98_97 Um, probably, I think that would help. I think that would be something that I should, uh- I should work on. change communication behavior 98_99 Yeah. Yeah, or I can just stay home probably too. If I was gonna drink, I could probably stay home, then I wouldn't get in trouble either. change communication behavior 98_101 Yeah, a little bit. neutral communication behavior 98_103 Yeah, obviously, because I just don't-- You know, I don't like getting in trouble, and I don't, uh-- change communication behavior 98_105 Yeah. neutral communication behavior 98_107 Yeah. neutral communication behavior 98_109 Um, oh, I'll never get in the car when I'm drinking again. That-- Yeah. I-I would never do that again. change communication behavior 98_111 Uh, I don't want to lose my license, you know. change communication behavior 98_113 I don't, uh, you know, I don't wanna lose my license. change communication behavior 98_115 Yeah. neutral communication behavior 98_117 Well, and then I-I sell cars for a living too, so-- neutral communication behavior 98_119 -um, you know, that would be, um-- You know, I don't wanna lose my job either. You know, I think those would kind of be connected together. change communication behavior 98_121 And, you know, I-- You're not gonna call my work or anything for this, are you? neutral communication behavior 98_123 Oh, okay. neutral communication behavior 98_125 All right. neutral communication behavior 98_127 Okay. I just didn't know how that worked. neutral communication behavior 98_129 Because I think if they found out, I might, you know, be in jeopardy with my job. So-- neutral communication behavior 98_131 Yeah. neutral communication behavior 98_133 Well, you know, the Super Bowl is coming up, and that might be an opportunity where, you know, I might-- I could see myself maybe drinking that day, you know. neutral communication behavior 98_135 So, maybe I would just, uh-- I think I'll just have people come over to my house instead of going somewhere else, you know. change communication behavior 98_137 Yeah, I think so, and probably a smarter thing to do. I don't wanna go through this again, you know. change communication behavior 98_139 Yeah. neutral communication behavior 98_141 I think so. neutral communication behavior 98_143 Sure. neutral communication behavior 98_145 Yeah. neutral communication behavior 98_147 There you go. neutral communication behavior 98_149 For my first DUI, I did, uh-- I didn't drink at all for about six months. And, um, I-I-I just didn't think that, um, I really had a problem with it, so, you know, I-I did start drinking again. But, you know, again, it wasn't uh-- You know, it was a little different last time, because I was drinking a little more last time than, you know, now. I don't really drink as-as much as I used to drink, you know, um, and, you know, after you know, I quit for six months, so I kind of knew that I didn't really have a problem. sustain communication behavior 98_151 Yeah. neutral communication behavior 98_153 Um, I know it was kind of strange. My friends didn't really hang out with me too much. Um-- neutral communication behavior 98_155 Yeah. You know, I, uh. neutral communication behavior 98_157 No, my friends. neutral communication behavior 98_159 Just my social circle, I guess, uh-- neutral communication behavior 98_161 Probably 'cause I didn't- I wasn't drinking with them, I guess. I don't really know. I mean, it seemed, uh-- neutral communication behavior 98_163 Um, no. I really couldn't because my girlfriend really wouldn't let me hang with them. You know? I mean, it was, uh-- She said that if I, you know, kept hanging out with them guys, that she wasn't gonna be with me anymore. And I just thought that it was better for me to, you know, calm down for a little bit and, uh, maybe things would get better with us, you know. neutral communication behavior 98_165 Sure. neutral communication behavior 98_167 Well, it was until she left, you know. neutral communication behavior 98_169 Yeah. neutral communication behavior 98_171 Uh, she left when I started drinking again. neutral communication behavior 98_173 After the six months, she, uh-- You know, it's kinda, I dunno, she just said that it wasn't gonna work out, and, uh, she decided not to continue with the relationship. neutral communication behavior 98_175 Uh, it was about the same time. I really don't know which came first. It was about the same time. Uh, we were getting in a lot of arguments. I just didn't quite feel myself. You know, I-I-I wasn't-- My friends weren't around. I, uh-- You know, I missed going out with them. neutral communication behavior 98_177 Yeah. It was kind of weird 'cause I felt like she was trying to control me, and, uh- and uh, you know, I, uh-- And she was telling me what to do all the time, and I just, uh, didn't feel right about the whole situation. So, it was pretty much, we both decided, you know, that it just wasn't the right thing to do, so. neutral communication behavior 98_179 Sure. neutral communication behavior 98_181 Well, I guess. Sure. Yeah. neutral communication behavior 98_183 [clear throat] Well, let's see. The first one was, uh, three years ago, and then, um, this one was a few weeks ago, so, um, it's been a few years, you know. neutral communication behavior 98_185 Yeah. It's been a few years neutral communication behavior 98_187 I don't really know that I can really compare good or bad. I just, uh-- You know, I just drink to be social, you know, I don't know that it really changes anything about me. It just, uh-- You know, I just drink to be social, you know. sustain communication behavior 98_189 Yeah, absolutely. Yeah. As soon as my girlfriend left, I could go out with them again, you know. [laughter] neutral communication behavior 98_191 Well, she didn't want me going out with them. neutral communication behavior 98_193 She thought that they really-- neutral communication behavior 98_195 Yeah. neutral communication behavior 98_197 She blamed the first DUI on them. She said, you know, because I was out with them, that it was pretty much, you know, they-they made me drink too much that night. neutral communication behavior 98_199 I think she was right on that. Yeah, absolutely. neutral communication behavior 98_201 I mean, if they wouldn't have gave me those shots, you know, towards the end of the night, I would've been all right. You know, I could have drove, and I wouldn't have, uh- I wouldn't have hit that mailbox. neutral communication behavior 98_203 Yeah. neutral communication behavior 98_205 That was-- neutral communication behavior 98_207 Yeah. I was on-- It was like I was a couple of blocks away from the house and I, uh, rolled up on the neighbor's lawn and I took out their mailbox. neutral communication behavior 98_209 I don't really remember too much of that night. neutral communication behavior 98_211 Uh, I don't know if I was blacked out, but I just don't remember a lot of it. neutral communication behavior 98_213 I wouldn't really call it a blackout. I just don't really- neutral communication behavior 98_215 -remember how that happened. neutral communication behavior 98_217 Yeah. neutral communication behavior 98_219 Yeah. Yeah. It's all right. neutral communication behavior 98_221 Yeah, Mary-Mary, just [crosstalk] Well, after-after I got the-the-- After I hit the mailbox- neutral communication behavior 98_223 -um, I stopped drinking for, you know, like about six months, and, uh, you know, and we were trying to work things out, but it just didn't- neutral communication behavior 98_225 -it just didn't work. neutral communication behavior 98_227 I think she became a little too possessive at that point. neutral communication behavior 98_229 Um, I think she just wanted to control me and I was tired of being controlled. neutral communication behavior 98_231 No, I was-- They just-- No, they weren't- they weren't really controlling me. They just-- They shouldn't have given me the last couple shots, 'cause you, they-they knew I was pretty, you know, uh, messed up before that. So- neutral communication behavior 98_233 -you know, that when they- when they-- You know, when they gave me the last, you know, couple shots, that kind of put me over the edge. neutral communication behavior 98_235 Pretty much, pretty much. neutral communication behavior 98_237 Yeah. I mean I guess it was my decision to take the, uh- you know, the other shots, but I-I just-- I don't know. I really don't really remember too much. neutral communication behavior 98_239 Yeah. neutral communication behavior 98_241 Yeah. You can blame hindsight a little bit. I mean, that works for me. [laughter] neutral communication behavior 98_243 Yeah. [crosstalk] neutral communication behavior 98_245 I mean, they've been my friends since, you know, uh, since high school. neutral communication behavior 98_247 Yeah, absolutely. neutral communication behavior 98_249 Sure, absolutely. neutral communication behavior 98_251 Yeah. neutral communication behavior 98_253 Uh, well, like I'll do stuff around the house, you know, uh, cut the grass and stop, do yard work, other than that, um, I don't know. neutral communication behavior 98_255 Uh, no, I'm single now, so, you know, I don't really, uh-- [crosstalk] neutral communication behavior 98_257 It's all right, you know, I date a little bit but, uh, you know, I just don't wanna get serious right now. neutral communication behavior 98_259 Um, I just don't want to date someone in a regular basis. I don't really feel like I want to be in a committed relationship. neutral communication behavior 98_261 Sure, absolutely. neutral communication behavior 98_263 Well, I think I would like really think about-- neutral communication behavior 98_265 Yeah. Well, I mean I-I, uh- I, uh- I wouldn't drink as much, and if I- if I did, I would call, uh, a taxi or, um, you know, get some kind of a ride home, I think, 'cause, uh, you know, I just, uh-- I-I just don't wanna get in trouble, you know. change communication behavior 98_267 Uh, I don't really think about that. I guess I would have to think about that, because if I was gonna go out and drink, I would have to think about that. Yeah. neutral communication behavior 98_269 I guess I could call it taxi cab or something, I don't know. change communication behavior 98_271 Yeah. I think that will be something. change communication behavior 98_273 Yeah. I think maybe if I take some money, I'll put it like in my wallet- change communication behavior 98_275 -and I'll like put it in there for emergency, and that way, I'll have money. In case I get drunk, I can just call a cab, and I'll use that money to get home. change communication behavior 98_277 What's that? neutral communication behavior 98_279 Probably in my front pocket, I guess. neutral communication behavior 98_281 Yeah. neutral communication behavior 98_283 Yeah. Well, if I put, uh- if I put it away, then I wouldn't spend it though, you know, [unintelligible 00:18:48] have it. neutral communication behavior 98_285 There-there would be a plan that I would have to- change communication behavior 98_287 -to get home. Yeah. change communication behavior 98_289 It'd probably be my wallet for a while, I would think, 'cause I-- Like I said, I don't really think I have a problem with, uh- with the drinking, you know. I just- sustain communication behavior 98_291 -think that, you know, it was an isolated incident. sustain communication behavior 98_293 And-and I, uh-- You know, I just, uh-- neutral communication behavior 98_295 Yeah. neutral communication behavior 98_297 Yeah, well, you gotta have some people over at the Super Bowl, you know. neutral communication behavior 98_299 I don't really hang out with people that really drink a lot though. I mean, they're-they're not like-- I wouldn't call them drunks, so, I mean, they can, you know, they can handle their-- [crosstalk] neutral communication behavior 98_301 Sure, I would think, yeah. neutral communication behavior 98_303 Yeah. neutral communication behavior 98_305 Yeah. neutral communication behavior 98_307 You know, it was a- it was, uh- it was pretty good. I just didn't feel like I had my friends around, and-and it just-- It seemed kinda boring. I mean, I felt good physically and, uh, you know, I, uh- I was more on time to work, I was doing really good at work and so forth, um, but, you know, it just, um-- The hard part for me was I just, uh- I just didn't have any friends around. I just kinda-- I felt isolated. I just didn't- I just didn't feel comfortable, you know. sustain communication behavior 98_309 Well, my-my girl- my girlfriend and I were trying to work it out. But it just seemed like we were arguing all the time, you know. It just didn't seem like-- You know what I mean? Like the not-drinking part was good, but it just didn't seem like anything else had changed. neutral communication behavior 98_311 You know. neutral communication behavior 98_313 Yeah. neutral communication behavior 98_315 No- neutral communication behavior 98_317 -and I really don't see that working out really well. sustain communication behavior 98_319 Well, I don't know. I mean, it's a-- I mean, my friends drink though. So, it's kinda hard to- it's kinda hard to, you know, to be with them, and then-- When I'm not drinking, 'cause it's-- I just don't feel like I fit in, you know. sustain communication behavior 98_321 Yeah, they don't drink that much, but they-they seem to-- You know, like they do drink though, you know. neutral communication behavior 98_323 I mean, it's just beer. You know- neutral communication behavior 98_325 -it's not like they're drinking whiskey or anything like that. It's-- neutral communication behavior 98_327 You know, but, they'll drink beer, and it's just-- You know, for me, I don't know. Sometimes, uh, I don't-- You know, I have an intention to have a couple of drinks and maybe I'll have, you know, more than a couple, you know- neutral communication behavior 98_329 -and then I don't know what really makes a-a legal limit. So, I think I can drink what? Like two or three drinks an hour, is that what it is? neutral communication behavior 98_331 One drink per hour, okay. neutral communication behavior 98_333 I'll have to remember that. [laughing] neutral communication behavior 98_335 Yeah, One shot. neutral communication behavior 98_337 Okay. neutral communication behavior 98_339 Just one though? neutral communication behavior 98_341 That's it. neutral communication behavior 98_343 Yeah, I guess. I-I think I probably know a couple of friends that don't drink and I don't really, uh, probably-- neutral communication behavior 98_345 I'd have to really think about it. I don't really have too many good friends. You know, I have some acquaintances that don't drink but- neutral communication behavior 98_347 -pretty much everyone I know like drinks. neutral communication behavior 98_349 Yeah, I, uh-- neutral communication behavior 98_351 I don't know. Just, it's weird, I-I think that, you know, kinda when I go there, you know, and-and hang with them at all, it's, uh-- You know, we- you know- sustain communication behavior 98_353 Yeah. Yeah, exactly. neutral communication behavior 98_355 Well, 'cause they're drinking and then- and if I'm drinking soda, they kind of mess with me a little bit. sustain communication behavior 98_357 Well, they just mess with me until I get-- You know, until I drink a beer with them, you know. So-- neutral communication behavior 98_359 You know, I mean, just- neutral communication behavior 98_361 -they're just kinda like egging me on, I don't know. neutral communication behavior 98_363 You know, I really don't feel like being an outcast, you know what I mean, they're my friends, you know. I-- sustain communication behavior 98_365 I've been with them since, you know, like high school. So, I can't. sustain communication behavior 98_367 They mean a lot to me. sustain communication behavior 98_369 I guess maybe it would probably be not a bad idea to not hang with them for a little bit, I guess. You know, I mean, I-I-I-- Yeah. change communication behavior 98_371 Yeah, sure. I gu- I think that would be something I could probably try. change communication behavior 98_373 Well, if I need to get my license back, I think it would be pretty important for me to stop hanging around with them for a while, you know. change communication behavior 98_375 Yeah, absolutely. change communication behavior 98_377 Yeah. neutral communication behavior 98_379 Yeah, yeah. neutral communication behavior 98_381 I think that would be a good idea. Uh, is this gonna help like get my license back, like, at this-- Like, the-the plans that I've made, is that gonna really help me like-- neutral communication behavior 98_383 Okay, good. neutral communication behavior 98_384 -about the plans that you're striving for. Um, that I-- There would be, um, uh, someone to read this assessment-Mm. neutral communication behavior 98_386 Um, probably just not really drink as much. I mean, if I just didn't drink, I wouldn't have to really worry about that too much either. change communication behavior 98_388 Yeah. neutral communication behavior 98_390 Yeah. This is true. Yeah. neutral communication behavior 98_392 Okay. Thank you. neutral communication behavior 99_1 Okay, like what? neutral communication behavior 99_3 Mm-hmm. neutral communication behavior 99_5 Yeah, uh, on the weekends? neutral communication behavior 99_7 No, I guess I haven't really thought much of it. Um, you know, I don't really think I drink that much in the first place- sustain communication behavior 99_9 -so I have a hard time believing that it's causing my anxiety. sustain communication behavior 99_11 In fact, on the nights when I don't drink, I-I have a harder time going to sleep. sustain communication behavior 99_13 Well, I, yeah, I guess I do have abo-about 2:00 AM, I tend to wake up on the nights I drink too much. change communication behavior 99_15 Jeez, no. I didn't think I was that bad. neutral communication behavior 99_17 I don't know. I mean, this is all news to me. I've, I don't want to do anything to put myself at risk and I've always thought of myself as a pretty healthy guy. I guess I'd put myself right in the middle of the five. change communication behavior 99_19 Well, you know I'm training for the marathon, and that's why I'm coming in, is because I need to be able to get my sleep back on track, but I also don't think of myself as a hazardous drinker, and I'm certainly not an alcoholic. So, that's-that's why the middle-ground, five. change communication behavior 99_21 Yes. neutral communication behavior 99_23 Well, I-I think the natural thing would be to cut back a little on my drinking. change communication behavior 99_25 Mm, um, you know, I-I guess drinking no more than maybe three or four times a week, and-and on the weekends, which is when I would drink the most, cup back to no more than five or six beers. change communication behavior 99_27 Um, doing the math, I guess no more than 18 drinks a week. change communication behavior 99_29 Thanks. neutral communication behavior 99_31 Sure. neutral communication behavior 100_1 I don't know. I'm just having a little bit of, uh, having a little bit of trouble dealing with, uh, my criminal history and, uh, you know, trying to stay on the right path, but, you know, um, it's just- it gets, you know, it gets kind of overwhelming, you know. Um, I really wanna be, you know, a good productive member of society, but at the same time, you know, I got this background that nobody will overlook, you know. So it kinda makes it like, well, what, you know, do I go back to what I know?I mean, you can only work for $5, $6, $7 an hour for so long, and it's really frustrating. It's causing, uh, some anger issues to resurface and some depression to resurface and, um, you know, and, um, I don't wanna fall back, you know. change communication behavior 100_3 Yes, it is. neutral communication behavior 100_5 I don't know what about it is, um— neutral communication behavior 100_7 Yeah. It has a felony conviction on it. neutral communication behavior 100_9 And, uh— neutral communication behavior 100_11 "Yeah, it is. And it's- I hadn't anticipated that it would have been-- You know, so at the time, it was just like, ""Okay, cool. I'm not going to jail.""" neutral communication behavior 100_13 You know, and, um, now, it's like, okay, so this is more like a life sentence than it was a four-year sentence that they were offering. You know, I mean, I think it would have been bad either way, but, um, I hadn't anticipated that this was gonna be this difficult, especially since I went back to school and, you know, uh, got a degree and actually want to do, you know, some, um, corporate level or, you know, professional type of work. sustain communication behavior 100_15 No, I'm not. Um, in situations where I don't know about it, I don't know about, I mean, if I'm not considered because of that, I probably-- Um, you know, that sucks too. Don't get me wrong. I mean, I-I don't- I don't get callbacks a lot because of that issue- neutral communication behavior 100_17 - I'm sure. The ones that really count are-are-are, you know, are kind of just, you know, uh, making me so angry and, you know, kind of spilling over into the rest of my life or the ones that I get face face, especially after a really good interview. And, you know, most of the times, I interview extremely well. And, um, it's, you know, I get the vibe that the job is offered almost halfway through the interview because, you know, they start telling me about what I'll be doing and what I'll be getting.And then, you know, when it comes to sign on the paperwork and I believe in honesty, so I tell them, you know, hey, look, this is what you're gonna find, you know, and, um, try to explain it. It's just-it's almost like night and day. neutral communication behavior 100_19 "Black and white. It just stops right there. ""I'm sorry. I can't really do much for you. I-- You have to go,"" you know, and it's—" neutral communication behavior 100_21 "No. I mean, there's different situations, you know. Sometimes they ask and, you know, I'll say something like, you know, ""We'll discuss at interview"". Uh, sometimes, there are situations where if I probably put that, I don't get a callback and those situations I don't know about. You know, but there are also times where I get an interview through, um, you know, uh, uh, some sort of connection or something, or like a buddy of mine or a family member will send me on an interview. You know, I don't have to fill it out- fill out an application for that. They just usually, you know, give you the interview. And at the end-" neutral communication behavior 100_23 Yeah. It seems like it's a done deal. You just have to go through the motion of having the interview. And then- neutral communication behavior 100_25 "-when I go through the interview and it goes well, and they're like, ""Okay, well, you know, I think we can do something"" and then, ""Here, sign this, sign that,"" and the other thing. And it's like, but we just had a great, you know, I mean, I qualify. Like what does that have to-- Seven years ago, six years ago, what does it have to do with anything? Now, especially because, you know, the type of conviction, it wasn't a non- it wasn't a violent conviction. It's not like I'm a danger to the staff around me. It's not like it's a, you know, a theft type of thing. It was, you know, it was a possession, you know what I mean?" neutral communication behavior 100_27 And neutral communication behavior 100_29 No, I didn't. neutral communication behavior 100_31 It's really frustrating because- neutral communication behavior 100_33 -it's almost like I-I don't wanna give up, but it's like, I'm not given any other choice, you know? sustain communication behavior 100_35 I do, yeah. change communication behavior 100_37 Mm-hmm. neutral communication behavior 100_39 Not that I can think of, no. neutral communication behavior 100_41 I think— neutral communication behavior 100_43 Probably get booted out right away- neutral communication behavior 100_45 -you know? Um— sustain communication behavior 100_47 Well, it's-it's sucks either way. You know what I mean? neutral communication behavior 100_49 Mm-hmm. neutral communication behavior 100_50 -you know what I mean? If it's gonna make things more efficient like as if-if you're what you're trying to say is if that's something that I could do and then if they get past it, then now I know that there's an actual intention by the hiring people to hire me. neutral communication behavior 100_52 Yeah, I think as far as maybe efficiency, you know, weeding out the things, not wasting my time, you know, but I had to tell you something, a lot of the people that don't care about that type of thing- neutral communication behavior 100_54 -are not the sort of jobs that I really wanna be doing. You know what I mean? Um, I don't know, it's just really frustrating. sustain communication behavior 100_56 Be an issue. neutral communication behavior 100_58 Right, and then the other thing is anybody that I might tell that to- neutral communication behavior 100_60 -that doesn't care- neutral communication behavior 100_62 -are probably not jobs that, you know, are worth going to get the interview. neutral communication behavior 100_64 Right. neutral communication behavior 100_66 Do you know what I mean? If I want to work at a moving company and I tell them off the bat, you know, from the gate, I tell them I have a felony conviction, just so you know before the interview and they don't really mind. I mean, that's great, you know, but at the same time, I don't- I'm not looking to be a mover or- neutral communication behavior 100_68 -a burger flipper or something like that. Not that there's anything wrong with it, but I feel like I have a little bit more to offer- neutral communication behavior 100_70 -you know, and, um, I don't know, it's a really, it's-it's like being caught between a rock and a hard place. neutral communication behavior 100_72 I have done, and my eyes have, you know, just become like mush after all the reading I've done on this situation. neutral communication behavior 100_74 I found out that I have the type of, um, felony that's expungable, I don't even have the type that's sealable. I have apparently the type that has to go on the governor's desk next to death row, you know, inmates or the candidates for, um, a gov- a governor's, uh, pardon. I-- That's what it all boils down to is that I have a class one felony- neutral communication behavior 100_76 -that needs to be, if any, you know, options, the only option I have is for, um, governor's clemency and I can't figure out why because it's-it's, I mean, I just, I maybe there is a loophole somewhere, I don't know. neutral communication behavior 100_78 I've looked into, um, a fe- um, I've looked into a few groups that are supposedly helping convicted felons get- neutral communication behavior 100_80 -work. neutral communication behavior 100_82 Um, again, the-the only-- I mean, I think what I saw was a whole bunch of, you know, dead end jobs. neutral communication behavior 100_84 And the other thing that I saw was that it was very politically charged. You know, I didn't think that, um, I was, uh, you know, allowed to kind of get an interview right away with one of those counselors that they offer. Um, I-- it just didn't seem like a type of place that was willing to help, you know. And-and, uh, I saw that there was a lot of, um, I wouldn't say racism but I would say a little bit of racial favor, I suppose. And, uh, I found it really hard to get in and to get an interview with a counselor to match me up with a job. Um, I think that those-those types of groups are cool if they work. I just haven't had any luck with, um- at working with- through that group. neutral communication behavior 100_86 You know? neutral communication behavior 100_88 Um, you know, I don't know. I don't know if there's anything else out there. neutral communication behavior 100_90 Mm-hmm. neutral communication behavior 100_92 Mm-hmm. neutral communication behavior 100_94 Right. It's-it's, uh-- There is a lot stacked up against me. neutral communication behavior 100_96 Let's just put it like that. neutral communication behavior 100_98 You know, uh, but that isn't— neutral communication behavior 100_100 Well, that's what-- yeah. That's-- I mean, uh, I'm able to, um-- I'm able to carry a conversation. neutral communication behavior 100_102 So at some point, I would imagine that maybe I strike up conversation with the right person- neutral communication behavior 100_104 -that would probably want to hire me regardless of that sort of thing. Um, I think that at the this point in time, that it doesn't really matter what degree you have. I don't believe that it matters where you went to school. I think it's all about who you know. You know, we live in a very politically charged city. And I think that even if we didn't live in a politically charged city, at this point, jobs are so scarce that people who know people who know people are the ones that are ending up, um, at work- neutral communication behavior 100_106 -and getting jobs. And I think that, um, if I continue to, you know, go to school and, uh, you know, uh, get time from that felony, you know. So it's been seven years now and— change communication behavior 100_108 Yeah. And at some point, I probably don't even have to report it, you know, and I have that going for me. It's been seven years. I have the fact that I'm, you know, uh, good at, um, interaction with people, that's good. neutral communication behavior 100_110 You know, um, I've been clean from that sort of lifestyle for that long so that's-that's-that's up for me, you know, that's-that's good. Um— change communication behavior 100_112 Yeah. neutral communication behavior 100_114 They don't. neutral communication behavior 100_116 Yeah. Well, that's my hope. neutral communication behavior 100_118 Yeah. That's my hope. neutral communication behavior 100_120 It is. It should be. You know, I-I— neutral communication behavior 100_122 Yeah. neutral communication behavior